#i dont know what else to put for a hashtag so please read i worked hard

[icansoiwill]

Heart Of Stone Chapter one: Meeting

~Summary: When you met Joel for the first time you didn’t ever think it would become the journey it has. He’s changed you and you have changed him. Was it for the better? Maybe. Was he hinging something from you? Possible. But through all of this you know that you were meant to know him.

~Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader

~Words: 1.1k

~Warnings: I can’t think of any...

~Summary: When you met Joel for the first time you didn’t ever think it would become the journey it has. He’s changed you and you have changed him. Was it for the better? Maybe. Was he hinging something from you? Possible. But through all of this you know that you were meant to know him.

~A/N: I don’t know how updated this series will be or how long it will be but, I’m already working on the second chapter!

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The Boston QZ was the kind of place that made almost anyone feel the human misery of a run down squalor in the post outbreak world. It was a place to sleep, shower, and maybe have a bite or two. Those necessities were about it. I hadn’t been here for long, maybe 2 months. I already met a few decent people, but no one to stick close to or trust. Being here was something that wasn’t ever going to be a permanent situation. I just needed a bed to sleep on and enough food to feel like me again before moving onto the next. The showers were probably the most amazing part of the QZ. With showers being far and few between on the outside, one could muster up a real nasty body oder.

Residing in the QZ meant beginning each day “contributing to society”, or what was left of it. I began to get into a routine, which I had yet to determine if it was good or bad. Each day started with a quick stop at the food pantry to get a slice of bread and  maybe a small bowl of cardboard flavored oats, then the rest of the day was used to burn the dead and infected or clean up the new streets that they were expanding into the QZ. Cleaning the streets is where I met Tess.

On my first day getting the assignment, Tess showed me what to do. Scrape up any of the ridiculously overgrown weeds, pick up weapons or broken glass, and grab any infected that were killed by a FEDRA officer to put into the back of truck. Me and Tess always made small talk, which kind of only consisted of her asking me random questions and talking about her “guy”  This “guy” sounded dreadful to me honestly. Brooding and unemotional was all I heard from the way she described him.

“You should come meet him in person.” She offered.

“I wish I could, tonight I am gonna get settled in the apartment they gave me. But maybe some other time.” I replied lying though my teeth. With that Tess stopped talking about him and began asking more about me again. Where are you from? How were you able to survive on your own? Were you born after the outbreak? I tried to keep my answers short, at the time I wasn’t looking to make any friends.

“I was born a few years before the out break in Texas. But of course, once the outbreak began my family didn’t stay there long.”

“Well, if you had a family where are they?” Tess questioned. I wished she didn’t push that much. “Sorry, I know I’m asking you a lot of personal stuff right now. Just trying to make some conversation with the new girl.” I sighed quietly with a slight relief. Hopefully quite enough that she did notice.

“Yeah, I just don’t talk about it a lot. I’d rather keep it that way.” I told her. Much didn’t happen the rest of that first shift.

Over the past two months here, me and Tess became what one could call friends. Maybe more acquaintances. However, we had each others back which was something I admired about her. I still hadn’t met the guy she talked about, which I found quite weird. One would think that by now I could’ve at least put a face to the name. Joel. Joel sounded like it had a lot more charisma to it than what I would’ve thought for someone who sounded so gloomy.

“Alright everybody, We’re done for the day.” A man said through the FEDRA speaker from the other end of the street. The group began to gather their tools together and make way to the ration station that was set up by the end of the street. Tess had her stuff together and went ahead of me. I struggled to grab my gloves and face mask that fell on the ground. I eventually got myself together enough to try and catch up to make my way to the ration station as well.  I began to look down to make sure I did in fact grab everything when I ran into a chest. Everything, once again fell to the ground in a loud thud.

“ugh” the man groaned.

“I should’ve been paying attention, sorry about that” I said to him not looking up. Instead, I look down at our feet and see all of my things spread out on the ground. I bend down to start picking things up. The man just stayed quiet and began to help pick up my things. I went to look for my mask when I saw his hand holding it in front of my eyes. That is when look up and met his eyes.

They’re brown.

His eyes were the first thing I noticed. Something in his eyes seemed so familiar.

“Thank you” I told him as I grabbed the handkerchief mask from his hand.

“No problem, Ma’am” he said with a slight southern accent. He began to turn away. I could stop myself from asking…

“Do I know you from somewhere?” I blurted to his back. He turn around to face me. “Sorry, I just… I don’t know there just something familiar about you.”

“I don’t believe we’ve met” he stated.

“Oh okay, yeah.” I replied flustered and confused. Closing my eyes to shield myself from any possible embarrassment.

“But” I heard him say with a soft tone, “I was thinking the same about you.” I knew it…

The man looked at me like he knew he had to of seen me before. His face didn’t reveal much. He stared at me longer than i was expecting. His eyes seemed to move around my head studying my features. He face gave away the idea that maybe he wasn’t going to be forgetting me again.

“Hey! You two finally meet.” Tess said from behind the man. “Joel this is (y/n), (y/n) this is Joel”

“Oh so this is (y/n)” Joel flatly says to Tess. The tone he just gave was very different from the one that had come out of his mouth less than a minute ago.

“Oh and you must be Joel the broody guy that Tess has told me about” I stated back to Joel.

“They’re about to close up, You better go get your rations” Tess says to me.

“You told her that I’m broody?” Joel question Tess.

“I mean I didn’t say that in so many words, but maybe it came off that way” Tess tell him, “plus, be nice. I think she could be good for helping us on runs.” Tess smacks his chest as they watched me grab my rations.

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IV. (Harry Styles)

hello loves!! thank you so much for the feedbacks on the previous part, i love to see your thoughts at reactions so please keep them coming for the upcoming parts as well! i was informed that the posts weren’t showing up under the hashtags bc i had an extrernal link to the spotify playlist, so that won’t be available in the next parts, but you’ll always be able to find it in the masterpost if you’d like to give it a listen! those were the songs i listened to while writing the story! now, i dont want to keep you up any longer, here is part 4, one of my personal favs, and im excitedly waiting for your feedbacks on the post! have a wonderful reading!

word count: 4.5k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Valerie is curiously watching her dad work on the portable bed they’ve brought over for the night, her little hands clutching onto Rosa’s shirt as she is telling you all about the list she has made for you. It’s not a long one, but you try to focus on every word she says, making sure you won’t mess anything up.

“I put an X behind the important ones,” she explains pointing at the paper and you nod, eyes roaming down on the few X’s on the list. “The other ones are just suggestions, things I thought you should know.

“Got it,” you nod again, biting into your bottom lip. Bath time, feeding, sleep time, everything is covered in the list and you’re happy she even mentioned the smallest details. Some things might be natural for her as she’s been doing it for months, but it’s your first time completely alone with a baby. You surely don’t want to mess this up, especially because you want her to trust you and let you look after Valerie more often. They deserve a break now and then.

Steven finishes the bed and backs out a few stuffed animals along with two blankets into it, making it look cozy and familiar for Val.

“But most importantly,” Rosa starts and you look her in the eyes. “Call us anytime if you need help or want us to take her home, and I mean it.”

“Not gonna happen,” you shake your head, earning a sigh from your sister.

“Y/N, I’m serious. We are thankful for the help, but it’s not your duty, alright? Just call us anytime, really.”

Nodding your head you flash a smile at her, knowing well nothing on Earth is gonna make you call them tonight. Okay, maybe there are some cases when you would call, but those are quite unlikely to happen.

She hands Valerie over who curiously eyes you before grabbing a handful of your shirt and making herself busy with the fabric.

“It’s gonna be fine. Have a great night, you deserve it,” you smile at them. Steven straightens up and curls an arm around Rosa’s waist as they watch Val in awe, clearly a little worried they are gonna spend an entire night without her, but you can tell they also can’t wait for some alone time.

“Alright, we should get going,” Rosa sighs and stepping closer she kisses Valerie’s head and then your cheek as well. “Have fun with your aunty! We’ll be back for you in the morning, Sweetie.”

She runs her hand over her little head and Valerie smiles at her happily, completely oblivious to what’s really happening. The joys of being just a baby!

Steven says goodbye to her as well and you all head to the door. 

“So, we’ll be here around eight, she is usually up by six. Do you want us to pick her up sooner?” Rosa asks standing at the front door.

“Sooner? I was about to tell you to sleep a little longer, you don’t have to come so early.”

“But we don’t want to take away your whole day, you need to rest too,” Steven explains, worry all over his face.

“Stop worrying about me, I’ll be fine. Just enjoy your night off! Come on, I’m throwing you guys out, time for the sleepover to start,” you tell them, shushing them out the door. 

It takes some time to finally get them to leave, but they eventually do. Then it’s just the two of you, alone for the first time.

“Ready for your first sleepover, Val?” you ask her, standing in the hallway of your apartment. She just stares back at you, saliva drooling from her mouth but even that looks cute on her. “Alright, let’s do this.”

You braced yourself for the worst. Thought about all the possibilities how the evening would go, but you hoped they wouldn't become reality. Unfortunately, baby Valerie had different plans for the two of you.

The first hour goes by fine. You feed her, have a little play time, reading her favorite book to her, but slowly, you notice her losing interest in anything and everything. Soon enough, you see her face distort into a grimace and a few moments later she starts crying and it’s straight downhill from there. 

Nothing can get her to stop. No food, no toy, absolutely nothing. You clown around, trying everything that pops into your mind that would calm her down, but it doesn’t seem like she is about to stop anytime soon. 

You start to panic. Rosa told you how fussy she is because of her teeth coming, but you didn’t think it would be this bad. When she’s been crying for an entire hour straight, for a split second, you think about calling Rosa. 

“No, not gonna do that,” you say, while Val is still screaming in your arms. “Valerie, what do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you, I promise! Just please stop crying!” you whine desperately, but, no surprise, no answer comes from the screaming babe in your arms, just more tears, puffy eyes and red cheeks from all the crying she’s been doing.

Trying to rock her into calmness you are moving around in the apartment when you hear your phone ringing. You instantly think it’s gonna be Rosa, wanting to check in on you, but how are you gonna answer the call when Valeries is screaming from the top of her lungs? She’ll come to pick her up straight away, no doubt about that.

Rushing into the kitchen you are relieved to see that it’s just Harry calling you.

“It’s not the best of times, Styles,” you sigh as you answer the call and put him on the speaker, leaving the phone on the countertop, so you have both your hands free for Valerie.

“Hey, I was just-- what the fuck is happening?” he asks hearing the deadly cries of Val through the line. “Is that Valerie?”

“It is! I’m looking after her so Rosa and Steven can celebrate their anniversary, but she just wouldn’t stop crying! I don’t know what to do!” 

You’re absolutely desperate. It’s so bad you can feel your throat closing up, nearing the edge of your patience, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, but you tell yourself only one of you can cry at a time and Val has taken that spot quite some time ago, not even giving you a moment to let loose.

“Text me your address, I’m leaving now,” he orders and you snap your head towards the phone.

“What? No, Harry--”

“Just text me the damn address, Y/N!” he barks and the line cuts off right away. 

Your desperation pairs with shock now, not knowing what to think about this short, but quite eventful conversation you just had with him. It takes you a few moments to collect your thoughts, but you end up sending him your address. 

Nothing changes in the twenty minutes while you are waiting to hear anything from Harry following your text to him. Valerie keeps crying with three seconds of pauses when she takes a few deep breaths only to start screaming once again. Aside from the headache she is causing you, it’s becoming pretty impressive how long she’s been doing it. You probably would have fainted by now, but it seems like Valerie is running on an endless battery.

“You are really making it hard for me to be a cool aunt, Val,” you mumble, the baby still in your arms as the tears keep rolling down her face. Your light grey shirt is now soaking wet, both from her tears and your sweat from the anxiety she is giving you, mixed with some other things you choose to ignore where they came from.

The doorbell makes you jump, but Valerie doesn’t even bat an eye at the sound, she just keeps going.

“You need to teach me how to have this much energy,” you mumble under your breath as you walk over to the door. 

Opening it you find yourself staring up at Harry who is wearing a brown coat, dark jeans and a black hoodie. If you had to guess what he was doing on this weekend evening you would have said he was out with friends somewhere, picking up girls, but he surely doesn’t look like he was anywhere else than his home, the clothes are hanging messily on his frame, like he just threw them on in a rush.

His green eyes look straight at you at first before moving over to the crying child in your arms. You fully expect him to say something along the lines of “this is the kind of effect you have on others” comment, but it seems like he notices the fear and despair in your eyes and he keeps his mouth shut.

“I honestly have no idea what to do,” you choke out and the tears start flowing from your eyes as well, making Harry have to deal with now two crying human beings.

“Oh my, please don’t cry, I can’t take two crying women at once,” Harry begs as he steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Turning to face you he reaches for Valerie, you hand her over to him, hoping she would magically stop the crying, but she clearly couldn’t care less.

“Why, can you take one?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you wipe your cheeks.

“Not really,” he admits, making you smile. “So what have you tried?” he asks as he starts swaying and rocking Valerie in hopes of getting her to stop, but not even Harry’s charm stands a chance with her right now. Deep down you’re happy you weren’t the reason she got so fussy and upset, would have been pretty awkward if she stopped the moment Harry took her into his arms. 

“Literally everything,” you huff, shoulders falling forward. “I went over the list Rosa gave me, tried everything, but she wouldn’t stop. She’s teething, but this is… It seems like there might be something else maybe?” you tell him worried that something serious might be behind her behavior. You really don’t want to call and bother Rosa, but you are nearing the point where you’ll give up and ask for help.

“Maybe she needs to be changed?” Harry suggests holding her up, giving her butt a sniff, but you roll your eyes at him.

“You don’t think that was one of the first things I did? She is as clean as she could be. Maybe I should just call Rosa,” you sigh in defeat reaching for your phone but Harry snaps at you.

“No! Don’t, we can figure this out. Steven has been so excited to have a night off, we can’t ruin this for them. Come on, we have to have the slightest parenting skills and solve this without them.”

Nodding you agree with him, but you’ve completely run out of ideas.

“So what do you suggest?”

You can see the gears turning in Harry’s head as he is trying to come up with a plan, but it’s not like either of you have any experience with babies. The idea of calling Rosa is starting to burn in the back of your head, fear of failing this challenge taking over your thoughts.

Then Harry looks at you with a look that screams that he has an idea. You’re just about to ask what came into his mind when all of a sudden he starts to sing.

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water, and I think of all the things what you’re doing and in my head I paint a picture…”

You instantly recognize Amy Whinehouse’s iconic song, the one that’s also behind Valerie’s name, you know that for sure. Rosa was obsessed with the song growing up, she would sing it on the way to school, in the shower or while making dinner. You weren’t surprised she chose this name for her first daughter.

What surprises you that Harry sings like a literal angel. He hits the notes perfectly, nailing the lines like not many can and you listen to him with parted lips, eyebrows raised. This was the last thing you expected from him, but then again, it’s not the first time Harry has surprised you through the years of knowing him.

Valerie stops for a moment, her hiccups shaking through her body as her tear-filled eyes look up to Harry, and you both think this is gonna be the moment when she finally calms down, but he doesn’t even reach the chorus before she starts crying again, a defeated sigh erupting from him.

“Maybe she wants it instrumental,” you suggest and Harry gives you one of those ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ looks as you leave to run down the hallway, right into your bedroom.

“How am I supposed to make it instru-- what the hell, Y/N?!” He gives you a weirded out look when you return with a guitar in your hands. “Since when do you play the guitar?” 

“Since like… eighth grade,” you tell him as you sit on the couch and holding the guitar on your lap you try to find the right accords. “I told you, you know nothing about me.”

Harry nods with a surprised but amazed look on his face as your fingers strum against the chords. It takes a few minutes but you figure it out and glancing up you give a questioning look to Harry.

“From the start?” you ask and he nods his head, continuously bouncing up and down to try to calm Val down.

You start playing the song and soon enough Harry joins you with the singing, the two of you perfectly nailing it even without any practice.

“Stop makin’ a fool out of me, why don’t you come on over, Valerie?”

Maybe it’s the guitar, maybe it’s the singing or maybe the fact that the song has her name in it, but by the time you reach the halfway point in the song Valerie’s crying slowly starts to fade. You instantly share a look with Harry, but don’t stop, fearing that she might start again if the music stops. 

Her tear soaked cheeks smooth out as she is not screaming anymore and you can actually see her irises finally, her long lashes are sticking together from the salty tears and you know it’s gonna take some time for her to regain her normal state, but at least the crying has stopped. 

“‘Cause since I’ve come on home, well, my body’s been a mess. And I’ve missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress…”

You tear your eyes off Valerie for a second, letting yourself wander over Harry’s features as he sings. He slightly furrows his eyebrows focusing on the lines, so his forehead has a few creases on it. His lips form the words so clearly and elegantly, you wonder how often he sings. Is it something he only does when he is on his own or he likes to perform as well? 

The only time when you heard him sing was at the bar when the two of you slayed the karaoke machine with that Avril Lavigne song. You were smashed by then, you remember that he had a nice voice but it was the last thing you paid attention to. Besides, he was kind of equally drunk as you, it was all for just fun, but now is a completely different situation. 

It’s no surprise Valerie finds his voice soothing, you’d probably stop whatever you were doing if you heard him sing. There are people with a good voice and then there are the ones that not just have a good voice but also that small something, that extra magic in them that makes you melt as their voice caress your ears. Harry is definitely the second case, for a moment you forget where you are or why he is there singing. It’s just his voice and the gentle strumming of your fingers on the chords. 

At the end of the song he starts repeating Valerie as the song slowly fades into nothing and you both stare at the little girl in his arms, clearly afraid she might start crying again. Unfortunately, your reservations become valid when you see the corners of her mouth curls down and you and Harry share a shocked look immediately.

“What else can you play?” he urges as Val whimpers in his arms, letting you know she does not appreciate that the singing has stopped. 

“Shit, shit! Um, something from ABBA?” you propose and Harry nods quickly, not even asking which song you know, so you take it as a sign that he probably knows all of them.

The first song that comes to your mind is Andante, Andante and you don’t hesitate to start playing again, just in time. Valerie was just about to start crying again, but as soon as the melody hit her little ears she calmed down and listened to it with tired looking eyes.

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze…” Harry sings the words and you can’t hold a smile back as he, once again, hits the notes just perfectly without missing a beat.

You’re convinced there’s not one person on Earth who has never heard a single Abba song, most of the population knows them by heart, but somehow you couldn’t really imagine Harry to be a person who knows the lyrics to the songs as well. But he does and sings it without messing it up even just once. It’s hard to imagine a younger version of Harry singing ABBA songs when they come on the radio, but the more you think about it the more the picture paints itself in your mind.

Valerie lays her head to Harry’s chest, stuffing her thumb into her mouth as she listens to the performance. She is probably enjoying the vibrance of his voice shaking through his chest and maybe this is what brings her the peace she’s been looking for all this time. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of them.

Harry glances at you, eyes so soft you melt under his gaze. However nerve wrecking it was to have Valerie scream for hours, she is still the cutest little thing ever as she rests her head on his chest, her long blinks giving it away she has definitely lost most of her energy. 

You don’t dare to stop the singing and playing. When you near the end of a song you quickly think of something else and whisper it over to Harry, who then gives his feedback on it with either a nod or a shake of his head. Most of the time he knows the songs you suggest so the show continues without a stop. 

Half an hour passes by when you see her eyes slowly closing. You still don’t stop though, only when Harry tries to listen to her breathing and he realizes that it was completely slowed down. She is out.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out quietly, your fingers feeling numb from the playing. You haven’t had a guitar in your hands for this long in a while, probably for years. Harry shares your relief, his throat has completely dried out and he is happy to finally breathe evenly, not just sneak a few breaths in between lines. 

“And now what?” he mouths as he is still gently swaying around with the sleeping Valerie in his arms. You put the guitar aside and check if she is for real asleep. Her long lashes are spread out on her puffy cheeks, gently snoozing into Harry’s chest as if she weren’t screaming for dear life just an hour ago. 

“Let’s put her down,” you whisper and nod at him to follow you. 

Reaching your bedroom you only switch your bedside lamp on so the light doesn’t wake her up. Pushing the stuffed animals to the side you grab the blankets and let Harry do the critical job. Leaning down he oh so slowly starts to pull her away from his chest, careful not to move too suddenly, it all feels like in those action movies when they are trying to get through the lasers without triggering the alarm. One bad move and the screaming threatens to start again and that’s the last thing you want, after all you’ve done to calm her down. 

You don’t even realize it but as you watch her little head reach the mattress you hold your breath, almost wincing upon seeing Harry’s hands slide out from under her sleeping frame. As if you wait for something to go wrong, both of you freeze for a moment, expecting her to start moving around and wake up, but she stays still. 

Eyes snapping up to Harry, you exchange a look and then you both head to the door, careful not to make any noise that can possibly shake Valerie up from her dreams.

“This was more tiring than running a marathon,” he huffs, throwing himself to the couch and you do the same next to him. 

“Have you ever run a marathon?”

“No,” he confidently answers and you look over at him with a puzzled look. “But I can imagine how tiring it is.”

You let out a chuckle, letting your eyes close for just a little bit. You haven’t even had the chance to realize how much this whole struggle with Val sucked the energy out of you, but now that you’re half lying on the couch it hits you all at once.

“I should get going,” you hear Harry mumble, clearly just as tired as you are, but he doesn’t move. 

“Mhm,” you hum, feeling yourself drift to sleep.

Neither of you moves and it doesn’t take a whole five minutes for the both of you to completely doze off.

The next time you wake up you feel an arm curled around your waist and someone is definitely pressed up against you while your back is against the back of the couch. It takes you a couple of moments and some blinking to realize it’s Harry you are all snuggled up to and the reason why you woke up is because Valerie is crying again. 

“Shit,” you mumble to yourself, mind still groggy from the sleep as you push yourself up on the couch. Just moments later Harry’s eyes flush open and you’re not sure it’s because of the crying or because you moved next to him. His arm slides off you as he looks around a little confused about his surroundings.

You don’t have the chance to think about how the two of you ended up cuddling on the couch, though it lingers in the back of your mind. Basically crawling over Harry you rush into your bedroom where Valerie is lying in her bed crying. It’s a different kind of cry, not like the one you were stuck with for hours before and you know she must be hungry.

“Ah, come on, little girl. It’s alright,” you coo at her scooping her into your arms. She immediately cuddles to your chest hiccupping against it, her little hands fisting your shirt. You leave to go to the kitchen and feed her, but just as you’re about to step out of the room you bump into Harry.

You bounce back from his chest, but his hand immediately reaches for you and grabs your arm, holding you in case you might fall back.

“Sorry,” you breathe out, thoughts still foggy a little. “She’s… hungry,” you explain, but he is standing so close to you, you can feel his body’s warmth and it instantly ignites the memory of being pressed against his side on the couch just moments ago and you can’t stop yourself from inhaling a shaky breath. 

“Let me help,” he croaks out and the two of you walk into the kitchen. Putting on her bib you hand her over to Harry who sits with her on his lap on a stoop as you get the baby food, warm it a little before joining the two of them and you slowly start feeding her.

“What time is it?” you ask realizing you have no idea how long you two have been asleep on the couch.

“It’s three am,” Harry answers before smiling down at Val. “Good job, Val!” he hums watching her take the spoon into her mouth.

You finish up feeding her, then give a try at burping her even though Rosa said it’s not necessary anymore. She just hums to herself so you head back to the bedroom, her eyes already threatening to close. By the time you put her back to the bed she is out again, so no private show is needed this time.

Walking out of the room you see Harry putting on his shoes and coat. For a split second you feel disappointed that he is leaving, but then your rational side puts you to your place. Of course he is leaving! Val is fine now, there’s no other reason for him to stay, right?

“Harry,” you softly say and he looks at you. “Can you please not tell Rosa and Steven that I needed help with Val?” you quietly ask, though there’s no doubt your eyes are practically begging him.

“No way I’ll ever admit to Steven that I sang ABBA to his child, so don’t worry about it,” he chuckles making you smile as well. 

“Thank you. And for helping me as well. I was really close to giving it up,” you admit folding your arms on your chest as Harry stands at the front door, hand on the door knob as he is looking back at you.

“No problem. Now you owe me one,” he smirks and you can’t hold yourself back from rolling your eyes.

“Sure,” you say with an airy chuckle. “Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he smiles at you sweetly before opening the door and walking out. 

You take his place at the door and watch him walk down the eerily quiet hallway. He turns back to you one last time waving in your way and you nod back smiling before he disappears around the corner.

Closing the door you lean your back against it, taking a deep breath. Your eyes wander over to the couch where you and Harry were sleeping not so long ago. The feeling of his arm around you is still burned into your mind and you breathe in shakily as a memory snaps into your head of the exact same thing, only years earlier.

You lied almost exactly like that in his hotel room that night. His strong arms wrapped around you as you had your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was slightly faster than the normal. Though you were still quite drunk, this feeling imprinted into your memories, because you felt so safe with him. Like nothing could ever hurt you if he was there with you.

Unfortunately, that feeling faded into nothing when you woke up in the morning quite fast. But this time, instead of disappointment and disgust, the only thing you still feel is the emptiness at the lack of his touch. 

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[in-tua-deep]

tua s1 rewatch with my roommate

episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):

I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!

Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit

“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”

“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus

“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”

I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound

Episode two:

HERR CARLSON

Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO

Five: you got anything stronger

Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????

The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it

Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg

Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.

Forgot how much I love Agnes

(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)

Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling

Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books

Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks

“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”

Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.

I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen

Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?

Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps

Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her

Aww the tow truck driver :(

I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else

Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF

Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD

Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”

Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization

Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~

ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo

Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”

Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep

OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(

Episode 3:

my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair

okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”

“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm

i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,

a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling

“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five

“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego

i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing

“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody

“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya

five having flashbacks in the car :(

did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”

five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego

“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat

luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(

“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not

sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted

“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something

“hashtag android rights” 

“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”

is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ???? 

wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up

“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit

forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets

okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh

“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus

where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????

“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”

“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther

“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at

what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego

aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song

“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them

how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh

why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY

forgot about that

is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances

diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES

you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh

[scattered-imagination]

Alpha Aizawa x ??? Yamada

A/B/O Universe ERASERMIC

When Quirks and Secondary Genders collide things are bound to get...hectic and confusing is the best way to put it.

Most Everyone Presents their Secondary Gender between the ages of 6-10, though its not unusual for the gender to settle by age 12. 

Aizawa Presented as an Alpha at age 12 and Yamada... never seemed to present as anything??

Aizawa doesn’t care about his status, just wanting to be left alone while he focused on his studies and hero work. He did give an eye-roll when everyone speculated about it saying “Beta in public, Alpha in Private”

which was true in some sense. he was a laid back individual who didn’t let a lot get to him. but during hero work or with close friends, it was very obvious that he was an alpha. able to take control, never hesitating, speaking his mind... protective when it came to a certain loud mouthed blonde. 

Aizawa and Yamada met their last year of Junior High, when Aizawa was unexpectedly transferred due to reasons unknown. Aizawa was grumpy and didn’t talk to a single person, and despite being an alpha, was teased and mocked by the other classmates.

Yamada was the one to loudly exclaim that the brunette was his friend and anyone that messed with him got a taste of the future voice hero as well. The blond made a habit everyday to sit next to aizawa, eat lunch with him, talk his ear off, help him with english, and walk him home.

at first Aizawa was pissed and grumpy about the new development... especially since he couldn’t sense Yamadas status. he just smelled like...fresh air. no musk, no sweet smelling perfume, and no subtle citrus. But after a few weeks, Aizawa found that he... wanted Yamadas friendship. two months in they started calling each other by their first names, three months in yamada convinced Aizawa to apply to UA.

Both got into UA, although Aizawa into General Ed and Yamada into 1A. but that didn’t stop them from training everynight and Yamada basically teaching Aizawa everything from his hero course to catch him up. When Aizawa beat Yamada in the sports festival, earning him a place in Hero class 1A, he realized he was falling in love with the blonde. 

BUT one thing always bothered him....Yamada never presented...ever! he tried to sniff for blockers but he could never pinpoint it. was Hizashi hurt? or was he hiding? While Alphas were prized and Betas were accepted, Omegas had varied reactions. modern day society helped to include them more... but there were very few, if any, omega heroes... and many believed that Omegas were weak and were better parents than workers. 

Throughout UA, even though Yamada was popular and very well liked, he was bullied sometimes because of his “blank” status. many calling him a freak or “blank slate”. he was loud and confident like a alpha, laid back like a beta, and caring and friendly like an Omega. Aizawa could not tell you how many times he threw someone across the training field extra hard because they were mocking his BEST friend. 

Yamada never seemed to mind, always laughing it off and blasting away his opponents with his super sonic scream. After Graduation, Yamada convinced Aizawa to move in with him to their own little apartment (maybe convince wasnt the right word...aizawa was looking for an excuse to stay with his crush). 

Living together though, revealed many things about Yamada... he blew out his parents eardrums at birth, was given up at birth, survived in foster care until he grew out of the system, was often forced to wear a muzzle until he reached a good foster home when he started UA (We have Nezu to thank for that!), and he still wouldn’t reveal anything about his secondary gender status. Aizawa started to piece some things together after that information.

and the protectiveness only increased. Yamada had to convince his friend that he didn’t need to glare at everyone that looked their way. it was a hard thing to do, but a compromise was reached. Aizawa would stop glaring at everyone who sneaked a peak at them. and yamada would cook dinners for them when their schedules aligned. in Aizawas eyes...yamada cooking for him was very intimate. 

five months into living together...aizawa confessed his attraction to the other... awkwardly albeit. Yamada froze before squealing in joy, saying he loved Aizawa as well... but he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. aizawa scoffed, calling Yamada stupid, but smiling as Yamada tackled his new boyfriend to the ground in order to get cuddles.

Years pass by, their relationship grows stronger and stronger by the day. Aizawa forgets to ask Yamada about his status, being too in love with the other. the soft cuddles, yamada massaging his sore body and humming him calming lullabies, and everything else the blonde did for him.

Aizawa did finally find out Yamadas Gender... in the worst way possible.

All Heroes were called to city center to assist in a massive villain attack. Mic and Eraserhead rushed there, working in complete sync. one would scream the villains out of the way, while the other erased the quirks and punched them out. 30 minutes in, Aizawa noticed Yamada was missing. in a panic he started to search for the other, only to see the other being thrown into a building. Aizawa rushed to his boyfriend, protecting him with a scary level of protective nature, his alpha hormones filling the air. soon the battle dies down, allowing aizawa to pick up the other, adrenaline dying off

its then that suddenly a sweet scent is filling his senses. it smells like a soft citrus perfume mixed with mint. he looks around before realizing that its coming from his unconscious partner. he sense others being attracted to where they are and runs off with Yamada in his arms, his alpha threatening to break the surface. 

Yamada wakes up in their shared bed, staring up into the eyes of a worried and exasperated Aizawa.

“omega huh?”

Yamada freezes at the others words before nodding silently, looking exhausted. he sits up, allowing the other to cuddle him close. he lets aizawa comfort himself with his scent before he explains.

when he first presented in a foster home... he was beaten so badly for presenting as a useless and weak omega. he was rushed to the hospital and a search for a new foster home began. he begged a nurse to help him get rid of his status... the nurse took pity on him and helped him implant a subtle blocker into his shoulder. it would have to be replaced every 3 years and that she would help him. 

“i owe the nurse my life...i never got another beating for being an omega again” 

even as Aizawas hackles raise in anger yamada continues on. Yamada realized after making friends with Aizawa that he didn’t need to hide... but at that point it had been habit plus...he wanted to make sure Aizawa loved him even if he was a “blank slate”.

Aizawa scoffs and scolds yamadas for thinking that a second gender means anything! look at him, a laid back alpha that could care less about what people say about him. yamada agrees, but is still shaky.

but as always aizawa proves to him that his love never changed. the other still playfully argues with him, falls asleep in his lap, traps yamada in his octopus like hugs, and still loves him to the moon and back. aizawa is still as protective of yamada as ever, which makes yamada laugh so hard in a bar one night that Aizawa has to drag him home because he is making a scene.

what happens next~?

ALL UP TO YOU LISTENERS!

But I hear wedding Bells in the future!!

((I have a few more headcannons and details for this. send me an ask and ill answer))

Message me if you want to write this story or use it! 99.9% i will say yes, just please tag me so i can read your beauty!

Hashtag for this plot: #ErasermicABO??

Hashtag for this series of plots: #ErasermicPlotBunnies

@dadmic

@shouta-light

  @guess-my-country

  @why-is-there-a-light 

@wendiflow

  @deafmic

@shout-and-mute

comment ^w^ for me to tag you in future Erasermic Plot Bunnies ((If i tagged you and you dont want to be alerted to this let me know! I get nervous about tagging people cause I believe Im bothering them))

[prettylittleliarsxxxx]

I’m sad for the fans for ODAAT getting cancelled but I dont get people who say that its cause netflix is homophobic and racist. Netflix is a company. Did they really expect it to lose money? There are other shows on netflix who have tons of representation and got renewed. Why? Cause they had a big audience. Which btw the main audience of tv shows are not Twitter fandom, but normal people who watch shows they enjoy, not only cause it has a gay character.

Did you read Netflix’s bullshit “apology” thread on twitter? Because I sure did. One part stood out to me -- and a lot of queer people for that matter. 

“And to anyone who felt seen or represented — possibly for the first time — by ODAAT, please don’t take this as an indication your story is not important. The outpouring of love for this show is a firm reminder to us that we must continue finding ways to tell these stories.”

This was a slap in the face. They have never publicly commented on cancellations this way, which is because they KNEW there would be backlash, primarily from PoC and LGBT people. They ANTICIPATED the devastation everyone would feel and how UNIMPORTANT we would feel. 

“We must continue finding ways to tell these stories” ???? Really? You know why I find that homophobic and racist? Because they had a story being told. If they were really that passionate or cared all that much about telling those stories, they would have, like they said, FOUND A WAY. They continuously cancel shows like ODAAT, Everything Sucks!, The Get Down, Shadowhunters -- things with incredible representation AND fanbases. 

Next, to me it’s shady that they aren’t releasing the numbers. If they want to say it’s because of low viewership, FINE. But they better release a report and show the numbers of every other single show they’ve kept or renewed. 

Honestly I don’t even care if I’m being a fucking bitch right now because I, a queer person, am DEVASTATED by this. A lot of “normal people” (???? NORMAL people? thanks!) also watch TV with representation! SHOCKING I know. Gay people not involved in twitter still seek out shows with gay characters. PoC not involved in twitter still seek out shows with non white characters. We purposely seek out media that we relate to. 

NEXT UP is the fact that Netflix DOESN’T MARKET OR ADVERTISE THEIR SHOWS. They advertise Stranger Things. It’s rare they advertise anything else. And they only promoted Stranger Things AFTER they had seen how well it had performed. THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. Netflix, stupidly, relies on word of mouth. That is a great technique. But it isn’t and should not be the only one. Their thread today was the most they had ever fucking publicly paid attention to this show and that’s absurd. 

Now, do you really really really think that marginalized people are unaware that Netflix is a company? Do you think we’re not painstakingly aware of how capitalism profits off of our identities? You know how they could have saved money? Don’t spend 10 million dollars on Friends (and I say that as someone who watches Friends 75% of the year). Don’t renew shows like Fuller H*use when the lead actress supports Tr/ump. They could not pick up a new show for one year and put that money back into ODAAT. 

If a company claims to care about their audiences, they need to walk the walk because we learn. We remember. Company or not, they need to at least feign giving a shit and they’re proven they don’t. 

Lastly, as a gay person, I am fucking EXHAUSTED fighting for my fucking representation. And I’m WHITE. So I have slightly more representation than PoC who have to fucking dig in the mud to find any kind of rep. 

Do you know how infuriating that is? To have to come up with a fucking hashtag every single time one of our shows is in danger? The Bold Type was on the bubble after the first season. Had to try and save that. Everything Sucks! failed to be renewed after we fought for it. Right now, Wynonna Earp is fighting for its next season because suddenly someone can’t find the fucking funding! You know what the common thread in all of this is? GAY! ALL THE GAY! WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL FOR OUR REPRESENTATION AND I’M FUCKING EXHAUSTED. 

So do kindly piss the fuck off with your “they aren’t homophobes111!!!11″ and “they’re a company lolz” bullshit, thank you

[inhibitcomic]

promoting your webcomic

someone messaged me asking for advice on promoting your webcomic and i thought it might be useful to others as well, so here are some pointers! disclaimer, this is just based on my personal experience over the last couple of years, different things work for different people etc.

never shut up about it

if you follow me on twitter, you’ll know that i talk about inhibit all the time. i like to share page wips and character drawings with my readers, but occasionally someone might stumble across them and check out the comic. i make an announcement on twitter and tumblr every time i post a new page, and then bump it a couple of times throughout the day to make sure people dont miss it*. i’ll post an illustration with a link to the comic saying “hey have you read this lately”. at the end of a scene or chapter, i’ll post a link letting people know that it’s a good time to catch up or jump on board. just talk about your comic! don’t put it down! don’t say things like “here’s my comic, it’s not very good but please check it out” because i guarantee i wont!!!! if you dont think it’s good, why should i care about it? you’re your own publicist, so dont hold back!! but also dont spam oh god!!!!! find a happy medium!!!!!!!!

*if youre going to make update announcements, include a link to the comic and some sort of teaser image! make people want to click through! i usually use a panel from that day’s page.

figure out what social media works for you

when i first started inhibit, i posted update notifications on facebook, twitter, and tumblr. i slowly realised facebook wasnt working for me; the view-to-click ratio wasnt worth the effort. so i ditched it and decided to stick solely to twitter and tumblr. you have to find where your audience is and go to them; dont expect readers to make a tumblr account just to follow your blog for news.

engage with readers

you dont have to be everyone’s best friend, but replying to readers’ comments on the site or answering their questions on social media is a nice way to build your audience’s loyalty. it’s always nice to get feedback on something youve worked on, and from a reader perspective, it’s nice to know the creator of a thing you like isnt a jerk! if someone shares fanart with your or just messages you to let them know theyre enjoying the comic, thank them! retweet or reblog it! maybe it’ll encourage someone else to check out your work!

link your comic everywhere

if a potential new reader cant easily find a link, theyre not going to read your comic. very few people will actively search out a hidden link. put it in your tumblr description, your twitter bio, your blog sidebar, your facebook page, whatever, plaster it everywhere. make it super easy for casual readers to find.

participate in community events

there are lots of weekly twitter hashtags where comic creators answer a series of questions and discuss aspects of comic-making. #comicbookhour, #comictalk, and #webcomicchat are just a few of them. in your introduction tweet at the start of every event, put a link to your comic, a brief description, and at least one promotional image or page from your comic. make it easy at a glance to understand what your comic’s about and what it looks like!

if you’re hosting your site on something like comicfury and smackjeeves, get involved on the forums and meet people that way!

things like inktober and hourly comic day are a great way to get involved in the creative community too, ive found a lot of new artists (and therefore, their comics too!) this way. make friends, support each other, be nice; webcomics is a small community. we gotta stick together.

make guest art for other comics

if you have a friend who makes a comic, why not offer to do guest art for them? i absolutely love guest art for two reasons: one, i get to draw something cool for a pal whose work i enjoy. two, free advertising!! and don’t forget to return the favour and let them do guest art for you!

link to other comics

one of my favourite ways to promote other people is to include a link to their work on a “comics i recommend” section of my site. this can be a section on the sidebar or a separate page (mine’s on the extras page) and i personally love checking out comics recommended by people whose work i enjoy. this isn’t really a “how to promote your comic” tip; unless you do a link exchange or something, you cant guarantee someone will put your comic on their site. it’s just a nice thing to do, and it’s nice when someone does link to you! i dunno! i like promoting my friends!!

make a mirror site

if you’re hosting your own site, the only visitors you’re going to get are ones you funnel there yourself. a good way to grow your audience is to upload your comic on a mirror site that has a built-in audience, like webtoon*. this is a great way to tap into a huge market of new readers with very little effort. every time you update, your comic gets bumped to the top of a “just updated” feed, and readers can subscribe for updates so your comic will appear in their list of favourites. ive found mirror sites a great way to connect with readers who might never have found the comic otherwise! however, these sort of sites are very “sticky”; it’s very hard to redirect readers away from these sites onto your main site. still, be sure to include links to all your other social media; i usually include mine at the bottom of each update.

*make sure you know your audience. i originally put inhibit on webtoon as full pages, just like on the main site. however, most webtoon readers use the mobile app, so i adapted the entire comic into a mobile format. i immediately got a lot more readers. i definitely recommend sticking to a panel-by-panel format if you’re going to mirror there! plus, when you hit certain page view milestones, they pay you!

put your comic on TopWebComics

topwebcomics is a site where users can vote daily for their favourite webcomics. stick your comic up there (be sure to include a banner and description) and you can get a decent number of views from people browsing the rankings.

pay for adverts??

if you don’t mind spending a bit of money, project wonderful is a good way to expand your audience. the site takes some getting used to but it lets you bid on advertising spots on other webcomics and sites that might have the audience you’re after. personally, i don’t use adverts, but if it works for you then go for it!

make flyers

if you want to get away from the computer, why not knock up some flyers? your local comic book shop might agree to leave a few on the counter (ive done this at forbidden planet), or bring them to cons to hand out to people. you can get a whole bunch printed cheaply online!

most importantly: don’t expect success overnight

it can be disheartening when you dont feel you’re getting the attention you deserve for the time and effort you’ve invested in bringing your comic to life. but (most) everyone starts off as an unknown. i started posting inhibit in january 2015 and it’s taken me almost three years to get the point im at now. maybe you’ll get super lucky and find an audience immediately, but more likely than not you’ll have to just put in the hours. have fun!! make your comic for yourself first and foremost; when your audience arrives, it’ll just be the icing on the cake.

i hope this helps!! :V

[amwritingmeta]

Dammit I still disagree :D I think part of that is because I dont think 19 showed the Nephilim as truely good and somewhat related question but dont we already see the baby doing something BadTM already? Jack shows Cas a paradise and makes (regardless of "making" being literal control or not) Cas belief in a future of a paradise without pain, which can't have free will and anti-free will is like cardinal sin in SPN, so doesnt he already have a negative influence (not literal) over Cas?

Q2: Another thing *ducks, pls say if I’m spamming you*. You said that Kelly reminds us several times in dialog that her baby is good but doesn’t Dean remind us in dialog of something else? Dean states that Cas is unrecognizable (and in a bad way), that he’s controlled (sock puppted) and thats even different than Castiels usual “wrong thing for the right reasons”. And doesn’t the words of the protagonist regard higher and his judgement is what the audience will believe and trust in?

Hello, Anon -

forgive this exchange of ours coming to such an abrupt halt - I was traveling the weekend this discussion was raging and simply didn’t get a chance to reply sooner. Apologies! Let’s pick up, but with some new information to take into consideration:

Andrew Dabb has said that Jack will be a blank slate and that Cas’ vision of Paradise might very well be Baby Nephi showing Cas what Cas wanted to see, not necessarily “the future”. Could the baby be claimed to have done this intentionally in order to manipulate Cas? Well, yes, but if Baby Nephi rejected evil through 12x19 by actions such as: 

saving Kelly

choosing Cas

killing Dagon

and Jack, who was visually introduced to us through his footprints literally burning themselves into the floorboards of the lake house, Sam finding him in shadow with eyes glowing like daddy Devil, is a Blank Slate - when really, given those visuals, he should be declared EVIL AF - then I’m thinking the baby probably wasn’t evil. 

What I mean is that if Jack can be a blank slate in need of guidance, then the side to him that the narrative of 12x19 showed us wanted absolutely nothing to do with hell whatsoever, probably isn’t less of a blank slate, right? At least you must concede to that, even if you don’t see the baby as inherently “good” and gravitating towards Humanity, the way I do. 

I believe the vision of Paradise was baby Nephi’s angelic side reaching out for protection from a fellow angel. I believe the vision of Paradise was brought on by Cas’ own longing for simplicity and not feeling lost, depressed and lonely anymore. A way out of the confusion he’s been trapped in for so long. An angel’s default setting will be: Paradise is Good. No pain, no suffering, no hate. The Bad Side of Humanity wiped clean. 

This is why Cas had to die. 

Because he’s still not learned his lesson about choice and free will and how they are the key to peace and love and hope and true faith. Through his rebirth he will move away from this vision of Paradise being Right and he’ll remember all the things he’s picked up along the way and look at them in a new light and finally the pieces will click and he’ll be whole and find inner balance.

To me, baby Nephi’s vision is not control, it’s not making Cas do anything against his will. The reason Cas died was because he, yet again, made the wrong choices based on believing he’s acting for the Greater Good, working for a Higher Purpose, without questioning the root of his own choices. Blind faith is bad, Cas. Deep down he knows this. He’s just not in a place where he’s emotionally and mentally strong enough to remember it. He wants out. He’s been lost for a very long time and there’s no harbour in sight. He doesn’t know who he is or what he should want or where he belongs.

@tinkdw pointed out something brilliant to me and I watched the scene from 12x22 again last night, when the brothers attack the wall with those pick axes and then Sam gives the speech about why he chose to follow the BMoL. “It was easier to follow.” “Easier than what?” “Leading.” I mean, it’s a beautiful setup for Sam’s character arc throughout that episode, but it is also a direct reflection on Cas’ choice to put his faith in baby Nephi’s vision, to embrace it as truth: because it’s easier.

Is this a negative influence?

I would say no, because as I read it, it’s an innocent one. 

It has no root in manipulation or coercion, it’s simply an innocent creature needing protection from the real evil out to corrupt it, out to make it cause the world to suffer and die. 

It also pushes Cas into the final stage of his character growth. It’s necessary for him to go through this final act of making the wrong choice for the right reasons, because those right reasons ARE RIGHT. Jack needed to be born with all his powers. And this is why Cas will get to be reborn and reach his endgame. 

So I would say by choosing to put his faith in the vision of Paradise, unquestioningly, Cas is making the wrong choice. But it’s all on Cas - not baby Nephi. Baby Nephi and the vision of Paradise are plot devices moving Cas’ character arc into its final stages and there’s nothing negative about that.

As for Q2 please read my meta on 12x20 (hashtag 12x20 or deconstruction), where I deconstruct that very conversation and the reasons I see for why Dean says what he says and how he says it. 

Hope this clears up my view on this! Sorry about the late reply!!

xx

[uniniverse-blog]

FAQ, RULES, AND GUIDELINES

GENERAL RULES & IMPORTANT INFORMATION

This fest is exclusively about bottom!jongin. He has to be the sub/bottom because it’s a bottom!jongin fest. All genres are encouraged and all ships are welcomed as long as Jongin is included in the main pairing and that the fanworks revolve around him.

Sensitive topics such as HEAVY VIOLENCE, DUBCON, CHARACTER DEATH etc., must be TAGGED and WARNED accordingly. Non-graphic violence is good to go! Sexual content is fine as long as it’s warned.

A minimum word count of 1,500 words unless stated otherwise (there is no maximum) is required to submit a final fic.

There are no limits to the number of prompts you can claim, however, you can only claim them one at a time.

Being a bottom does not necessarily mean that your fic has to be NC17 and sex has to be involved (e.g you can incorporate D/S themes/elements/undertones to your fic with Jongin as the sub while staying perfectly within PG13). Uniniverse fanwork doesn’t have to have smut. If your fic does include one, however heavy or light you choose to go with that is completely up to your discretion, but please tag accordingly.

Non-consensual sex and pedophilia are NOT ALLOWED.

DO’S (aka what is expected to be abided in this fest)

Be friendly! Keep up the good spirits and conviviality; let’s create a genial community!

Be respectful to everyone, including the rules stated above.

Cooperate with the mods to make this fest a success!

DONT’S (aka your one way ticket to being banned).

Any acts of Plagiarism.

Bashing someone else’s work.

Causing conflict (consult the Uniniverse mods should any problems arise to avoid it from getting bigger).

Claiming a prompt and then disappearing during the deadline and not replying to our check-in without asking for an extension (If you can’t meet the deadline and would like to extend it, please inform any of Uniniverse’s mods ASAP).

No “Koreanism” such as “annyeonghaseyo”, “oetteokhae”,etc. However, titles of respect such as oppa, hyung, halmeoni, etc, are fine to use. 

FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

➤  WHAT ARE THE WORKS ACCEPTED FOR THIS FEST?

Fanfictions

Fanarts, which includes drawings, paintings etc.

Fanedits, which includes edits, graphics, videos, etc

➤ HOW AM I TO WORK BASED ON THE PROMPTS?

For fanfiction: You will have to write a story according to the prompt you have chosen. It can be words to be inserted, actions, a specific universe, kinks, clichés, etc. The prompts are not to be seen as restrictions. They can be discreetly added in the work or be as prominent as you like. The whole purpose of this fest is to have fun!

➤ WHAT IS THE MINIMUM REQUIRED FOR MY WORK?

For fanfictions: Minimum word count is 1500 words. We don’t know if it’s incredibly long, but you have at least a month and a half to work on it, or maybe even more. When progress check-in comes, we’ll do a poll to ask if the participants are ready to send their fics to the mods, and if a lot of you aren’t ready just yet, we’ll give you an extension.

For Art: Artists have no minimum requirement, but please try to ensure that it is a finished piece of work. No rating restrictions too. A single piece of art, or even a series, that is complete is enough. However, you need to put some thought/effort into it.

For Edits: Editors have no minimum requirement, but please make sure it is a finished work that you are posting. There are no restrictions with ratings either, rated ones will be marked with a warning. IMPORTANT: Please only edit pictures and videos that are allowed to be edited (some fansites do not allow editing so play safe and use with approval from image/video source or official images).

Others: no idea, but if you want to do anything else than mentioned above, contact us so we can discuss it!

➤ ARE THERE ANY LIMITATIONS WHEN IT COMES TO RATINGS?

None at all! G, PG13, NC17, R. You name it! The ratings are up to you.

➤ IS IT REQUIRED TO PUT TRIGGER WARNINGS?

It is compulsory. It’s called a trigger warning for a reason. If your piece includes sensitive topics, such as dub-con/incest/mutilation to name a few, it’s best to attach warnings to your fic so readers who don’t like to read (explicit) works of this kind can avoid it beforehand.

➤ DOES THE FIC NEED TO BE A HAPPY ENDING?

Not necessarily. Happy, Sad/Tragic or Open endings, it’s up to you. You are the master of your own ship!

➤ WHY ARE THE PROMPTS AVAILABLE FOR CLAIM ONLY ONCE?

Simply for convenience, and the fact that it is the most suitable for this fest.

➤ WHERE WILL THE FEST BE HOSTED ?

There are two “official pages”; one on Tumblr and the other one on Archive of Our Own (AO3). Regular updates and such will most probably be managed through Tumblr and Twitter since it’s more convenient, while all the works will be posted on AO3 for the same reasons. Entries will be posted on AO3 and then shared through a link on Tumblr.

➤ IS IT OKAY IF I SUBMIT A WORK WITHOUT EDITING IT MUCH ?

Please try to proofread as much as you can. If there are obvious grammatical/spelling mistakes or other such things, the works may be sent back. If you want, you can find a beta in our archive, although it’s not required.

➤ WHY AO3? WHY DIDN’T YOU CHOOSE LJ/AFF/TUMBLR TO HOST THE FEST?

We chose this site based on the mods’ preferences.

➤  WHAT IF I DON’T FIND A PROMPT I LIKE IN THE PROMPT LIST?

If participants don’t see a prompt that they like but still want to participate, they can simply pick a prompt that they feel they can work around to incorporate their own ideas. Or in other words, you can self prompt!

➤ I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE THE IDEA OF SENDING YOU MY WORK AND HAVING NO CONTROL OVER IT FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME. WHAT IF YOU MESS WITH IT AND WHAT IF I WANT YOU TO TAKE IT DOWN LATER?

As a disclaimer, your work will not be touched unless there is a major problem e.g. formatting, or an excess of spelling mistakes. If it’s the case, we will seek you out to find a solution. After the fest ends, if you wish to publish this on your own page and take your work down the fest’s AO3 and Tumblr, please inform and update us with the link so we can post it instead.

➤ WHAT IF I NEED TO DROP OUT BECAUSE OF SOME REASON? IS THERE ANY CONSEQUENCE TO DROPPING OUT?

You can drop out of the fest anytime you want. We only ask that you inform us as soon as possible so we can free your prompt.

➤ WHERE DO I SUBMIT FIC/ART/EDIT?

For fanfics: Submission of fanfics will come with a submission form that is required to be filled in later on during deadline and the finished works will be asked to be sent to our email. (uniniverse88@gmail.com)

For fanarts: We are accepting fanarts throughout this fest meaning that you can post your finished work whenever up until the reveals date. Your work should be posted/tweeted on your own twitter/tumblr accounts with the hashtag #uniniversefest, we will be posting links to your original post from our tumblr/twitter. 

For fanedits: The same rules for fanarts apply here. (ex: picture edits and videos should be uploaded on your accounts with the hashtag #uniniversefest and we will be posting links to your original post from our tumblr/twitter.)

If you don’t find the answer of your question, don’t hesitate to ask us!

Email: uniniverse88@gmail.com

Twitter: @uniniverse_fest

Tumblr: askbox

[theletterineversent]

Dear Late Night Uncertainties,

I can't sleep, so my head is doing all kinds of crazy things right now, but I just wanted to tell you that if there's anything I can ever do to be a better girlfriend, all you have to do is tell me. I want to be there for you in every way that I'm wanted and that I can... I'm really excited to move in together and see where life takes us in the future. Just saying that, there's a part of me that won't stop thinking about all the ways I could fuck it up, that even just sending this, you're going to read it, think I'm just insecure and annoying and realize that you could do better. I worry everyday that the next words you'll say to me are "We need to talk" and my whole world is gonna come crashing down because I can't imagine my life without you. Now I'm clingy too. And the rational side of my brain knows that you're not the kind of person who would dig a hole so deep by lying to someone and saying you love them when you don't, or by moving in with them, or by spending any amount of money on coffees for us when I know it's hard financially sometimes. Someone who doesn't care about another person wouldn't do those things.

But sometimes when you snap at me because you're irritated, I don't honestly know if it's because you're irritated with me or slmething else or just irritated. And so I beat myself up because god, I just want to be there for you and be with you and lay in your arms for the rest of our lives. Shit, I want to quit my job and get an RV and just travel the world with you, just the two of us.

I don't know how much of this stems from the fact that I've never had a relationship last longer than a year, or just about a year. Or how much of this is just this suddenly overwhelming depression and anxiett I find myself saddled with.

Please don't think I'm blaming you for anything or saying that you're doing anything wrong. There's definitely days that are wonderful, and then there are days when the end is there, I can hear the words coming out of your mouth like you're actually saying them, and then we say I love you and part and it's all okay, until I start to.overanalyze everything again. Does he mean it? I've been in relationships before where I kept it going well after I had realized that I wasn't invested. Is he doing the same thing? Can't be, we're moving in together? Why would he trap himself.in a one bedroom apartment with someone he plans on breaking up with? He wouldn't be so cruel as to do all that, then break up and just move back in with his friends would he? Could he be capable of that?

I'm just so uncertain and I'm afraid to talk about it with you because I'm afraid you'll realize its true and leave.

Im so afraid. I cant stand it. Im not gonna hurt myself but theres nothing to take my mind off these stuoid thoughts and I cant do anything about them so I sit here and worry and worry and worry and worry and play that stuoid color by numbers game which doesnt take my mind off anything...

Why the fuck are you asking people on tumblr to dm you? I dont care if you post a nude selfie everyday. Girls across the world could look at you and it wouldnt matter. But dm me? Really? Who the fuck is dming you after looking at your nude pictures? What do they want? You said at magstock that it bothered you when guys would stare at me, so why do I feel so guilty thinking about how to bring it up to you that I randomly found your tumblr and that i dont care if you posted that selfie I thiught was just for me, but that the hashtag dm me was the real kicker that partially helped set off this goddamn nightmare of a novel of issues. Dm me?

Dm me?

What do I need to do to be enough? Why do you need DMs for strangers on the internet? Shit. You made me feel.sexy enough to take nude pictures of myself and send them over the internet. That takes a lot of trust. And confidence. And both kind of took a hit tonight.

Am.i too boring in bed? Nevermind, running a porn blog doesnt mean that our sex is bad, I sure hope you'd tell me if the sex is bad, Im not opposed to trying new things if it excites you. And people post selfies all the time, nude selfies too. Hell, one of my friends is a dancer porn star cam girl. The nudity isnt the fucking problem.

You know what, Im mad. Real mad. And i wont talk about it, I know, cause Im afraid that Im already pushing you away so why give you any more reasons to think Im a crazy jealous bitch, right? But I dont think its fair that you get jealous when other guys stare at me and youre literally fucking asking strangers on the fucking internet to fucking dm you on a fucking nude pic? While were literally talking about moving in together? What the actual.fuck?

Do you sext with them? Does anyone even DM you? Three people liked it, that I know. I swear, I try really hard to not be jealous, but shit, I dont even know where to go from here, my thoughts keep getting stuck on how betrayed I feel and how angry I am but also how hurt, and how insecure I feel that Im not enough for you.

Ive given you so much, and you've given me so much too, which is maybe why this hurts so much. I don't know. Its late, and I have work in 6 hours and Im probably not falling sleep anytime soon.

All I want to do is call you and ask about it like a rational adult, and maybe I will tomorrow night, but maybe Ill also just wait until the next time you post a selfie asking people on tumblr to dm you, and maybe Ill create a fake account and dm you from it, and see what you say. But see, thats the bitchy sneaky way to do it and no good comes from that. But will any good come from asking you in person?

What if you try to lie to me and say you dont have a tumblr and I have to tell you I know all about it and I already know that you posted that while we we've been dating?

On another note, do you have something against putting on facebook that were in a relationship? Its been almost a year. Sure, fb official doesnt mean jack shit, and again, on a rational level, I know all of that. But damn, if sometimes it wouldnt make me feel better.

Ive done this in the past, the boyfriend doesnt put relationship status on facebook, doesn't take many pictures with you, doesnt come over to your place as often as you come over to his...

I know (think? Can make up?) Good reasons for these things in our case - relarionship status isnt your thing, the important people know and thats what matters; we have too much fun to take photos together, were living in the moment; damn I live stupid far away and you dont have a car or much money to take a lyft or an hour long bus ride everywhere

Still hurts sometimes though.

You know what else hurts? You'll never see this. You'll never know all these feelings in my head becuase I am.forever to afraid to talk about with you in person or on the phone. You'll never fucking know and I'm afraid that will be the end of us.

I love you, and I want to be with you for a long time, and I can only sit here in this moment, afraid, hoping that this is all just stupid anxiety and that things are gonna get better when we move in together because I dont think I could take the heartbreak.

Love, Me.

[theletterineversent]

Dear You,

I can’t sleep, so my head is doing all kinds of crazy things right now, but I just wanted to tell you that if there’s anything I can ever do to be a better girlfriend, all you have to do is tell me. I want to be there for you in every way that I’m wanted and that I can… I’m really excited to move in together and see where life takes us in the future. Just saying that, there’s a part of me that won’t stop thinking about all the ways I could fuck it up, that even just sending this, you’re going to read it, think I’m just insecure and annoying and realize that you could do better. I worry everyday that the next words you’ll say to me are “We need to talk” and my whole world is gonna come crashing down because I can’t imagine my life without you. Now I’m clingy too. And the rational side of my brain knows that you’re not the kind of person who would dig a hole so deep by lying to someone and saying you love them when you don’t, or by moving in with them, or by spending any amount of money on coffees for us when I know it’s hard financially sometimes. Someone who doesn’t care about another person wouldn’t do those things.

But sometimes when you snap at me because you’re irritated, I don’t honestly know if it’s because you’re irritated with me or slmething else or just irritated. And so I beat myself up because god, I just want to be there for you and be with you and lay in your arms for the rest of our lives. Shit, I want to quit my job and get an RV and just travel the world with you, just the two of us.

I don’t know how much of this stems from the fact that I’ve never had a relationship last longer than a year, or just about a year. Or how much of this is just this suddenly overwhelming depression and anxiett I find myself saddled with.

Please don’t think I’m blaming you for anything or saying that you’re doing anything wrong. There’s definitely days that are wonderful, and then there are days when the end is there, I can hear the words coming out of your mouth like you’re actually saying them, and then we say I love you and part and it’s all okay, until I start to.overanalyze everything again. Does he mean it? I’ve been in relationships before where I kept it going well after I had realized that I wasn’t invested. Is he doing the same thing? Can’t be, we’re moving in together? Why would he trap himself.in a one bedroom apartment with someone he plans on breaking up with? He wouldn’t be so cruel as to do all that, then break up and just move back in with his friends would he? Could he be capable of that?

I’m just so uncertain and I’m afraid to talk about it with you because I’m afraid you’ll realize its true and leave.

Im so afraid. I cant stand it. Im not gonna hurt myself but theres nothing to take my mind off these stuoid thoughts and I cant do anything about them so I sit here and worry and worry and worry and worry and play that stuoid color by numbers game which doesnt take my mind off anything…

Why the fuck are you asking people on tumblr to dm you? I dont care if you post a nude selfie everyday. Girls across the world could look at you and it wouldnt matter. But dm me? Really? Who the fuck is dming you after looking at your nude pictures? What do they want? You said at magstock that it bothered you when guys would stare at me, so why do I feel so guilty thinking about how to bring it up to you that I randomly found your tumblr and that i dont care if you posted that selfie I thiught was just for me, but that the hashtag dm me was the real kicker that partially helped set off this goddamn nightmare of a novel of issues. Dm me?

Dm me?

What do I need to do to be enough? Why do you need DMs for strangers on the internet? Shit. You made me feel.sexy enough to take nude pictures of myself and send them over the internet. That takes a lot of trust. And confidence. And both kind of took a hit tonight.

Am.i too boring in bed? Nevermind, running a porn blog doesnt mean that our sex is bad, I sure hope you’d tell me if the sex is bad, Im not opposed to trying new things if it excites you. And people post selfies all the time, nude selfies too. Hell, one of my friends is a dancer porn star cam girl. The nudity isnt the fucking problem.

You know what, Im mad. Real mad. And i wont talk about it, I know, cause Im afraid that Im already pushing you away so why give you any more reasons to think Im a crazy jealous bitch, right? But I dont think its fair that you get jealous when other guys stare at me and youre literally fucking asking strangers on the fucking internet to fucking dm you on a fucking nude pic? While were literally talking about moving in together? What the actual.fuck?

Do you sext with them? Does anyone even DM you? Three people liked it, that I know. I swear, I try really hard to not be jealous, but shit, I dont even know where to go from here, my thoughts keep getting stuck on how betrayed I feel and how angry I am but also how hurt, and how insecure I feel that Im not enough for you.

Ive given you so much, and you’ve given me so much too, which is maybe why this hurts so much. I don’t know. Its late, and I have work in 6 hours and Im probably not falling sleep anytime soon.

All I want to do is call you and ask about it like a rational adult, and maybe I will tomorrow night, but maybe Ill also just wait until the next time you post a selfie asking people on tumblr to dm you, and maybe Ill create a fake account and dm you from it, and see what you say. But see, thats the bitchy sneaky way to do it and no good comes from that. But will any good come from asking you in person?

What if you try to lie to me and say you dont have a tumblr and I have to tell you I know all about it and I already know that you posted that while we we’ve been dating?

On another note, do you have something against putting on facebook that were in a relationship? Its been almost a year. Sure, fb official doesnt mean jack shit, and again, on a rational level, I know all of that. But damn, if sometimes it wouldnt make me feel better.

Ive done this in the past, the boyfriend doesnt put relationship status on facebook, doesn’t take many pictures with you, doesnt come over to your place as often as you come over to his…

I know (think? Can make up?) Good reasons for these things in our case - relarionship status isnt your thing, the important people know and thats what matters; we have too much fun to take photos together, were living in the moment; damn I live stupid far away and you dont have a car or much money to take a lyft or an hour long bus ride everywhere

Still hurts sometimes though.

You know what else hurts? You’ll never see this. You’ll never know all these feelings in my head becuase I am.forever to afraid to talk about with you in person or on the phone. You’ll never fucking know and I’m afraid that will be the end of us.

I love you, and I want to be with you for a long time, and I can only sit here in this moment, afraid, hoping that this is all just stupid anxiety and that things are gonna get better when we move in together because I dont think I could take the heartbreak.

Love, Late Night Uncertainties