#i dont read fanfics anymore because some of them are really just people writing a short paragraph and slapping down several names on it

[fatuifucker]

its been a day and i still am upset about that interaction with that person they literally didnt do anything wrong but i keep thinking about 4th grade me getting excited when someone likes the same thing as me only for me to not impress them and then i go back home crying and wondering why i have no friends

[yonpote]

sorry i dont have anyone to talk to this about lol so it's going in your inbox but i'm in my mid-20s and only now for the first time in my life have i changed my mind on rpf specifically because of phanfic. i'm a returning phannie but like.... the last time i watched them was all the way back in 2012. and was very ani-rpf then and have continued to be through the years. and i think in a lot of cases i maintain that position. but after falling back in love with dnp and the phandom and caving into the urge to read some phanfic knowing that dnp themselves encourage and respect it im kind of shocked to find it's actually a really beautiful, metatextual, interactive creative outlet. i think youve talked a bit about how phanfic isnt really rpf to you and i kind of agree, because dan and phil to me are like.... an idea, a mythology, a narrative, that theyre aware of and have built as well as being aware that we're aware of. like the idea of dan and phil has been constructed by them and their fans hand in hand for over a decade. and i find that phanfic itself is very aware of this and exists to expand upon those ideas. lol. yeah that's it sorry for this ramble. i just find it surprising that something could change my mind on that in this day and age but it's been a very cool experience.

hello welcome youve come to the right place for this yap because i COMPLETELY understand you. like genuinely i am not this attached to any other "rpf" content like this? ok i had an egobang phase but honestly arin and danny have grown to share a similar but not exact same connection as dnp BUT I DIGRESS

but yeah i think a lot of it is due to the contrastive relationships between the brand of Dan and Phil™, their separate individual brands Daniel Howell and AmazingPhil (particularly dan), the Phanon dnp, and the actual real people dan and phil. i always go back to the fanfiction segment of tatinof but its just such a perfect example of what i mean. like, the entire idea to have a fanfic scene was ofc the real people's idea, and they used tropes they would see in the phanon to convey the audience interactive story, but at the same time had to keep it at least Somewhat appropriate for the Brand™ at the time being very pre-teen and teen focused. honestly idk how much you've gone back and watched of what you missed, but i would suggest doing that not just cuz theres some incredible stuff from those eras, but also seeing the intersection of the brand, fanon, and real people and when they split apart. you see it a lot especially in gaming videos imo where theyre unscripted, and once they got more comfortable in the gaming channel roles the energy shifting away from Brand but never too far... until ofc now where what even is their brand anymore just Chaos and Queerness i guess

OH ALSO go read some old fic and compare to newer ones like its not just that writing styles changed or that dnp themselves have changed, but the like. energy and intent put into fic has changed. i would say in the past it was more exploratory, putting dnp in AU's and imagines, or exploring what Could have happened. whereas now, yes ofc there are au's and fic for the purpose of exploring a concept or world, but also its a lot more introspective. exploring the inner world a bit more. idk i just thijk dnp are funny lil guys and they accidentally created some freaky lil creatures in a lab somewhere...

[sagethegremlin]

ok so this is kinda rambley and a tad venty but uh yeah long post about my mental state lately ig? idk tldr im gonna get sillier c:

ok so this is weird but i think getting all my thoughts out on a post will help me out through this but anyway i think ive had like really bad anxiety i think? about my fics lately. ive found myself being way too scared about what other people might think of them (way more than the usual voice in the back of my head at least) and i think ive been really scared of i guess no one caring, like the only way someone would care about one of my fics is if its this huge professional thing that means something. ive found myself overhyping or underhyping my wips when i shared them with friends, losing confidence in them entirely even if my friends said something nice, like it was always gonna look stupid so long as it wasnt in my head anymore.

i think the reason these feelings are so frustrating is because something as simple as writing fanfic shouldnt give me this much anxiety, to the point where im losing sleep and procrastinating important things over however good i am at writing something silly thats supposed to be for fun. and it hasnt just been about fanfic either, ive been so scared of how people perceive me online, feeling like i always have to type like im some big blog and constantly being scared of what other people think of me, which is the wrong attitude to have in a fandom space. this is supposed to be fun, and it hasnt been, and i want to change that.

ive really been wanting to say something for i think a few months now. ive noticed how much ive felt like i needed to overhype myself, and just how bad my confidence has been destroyed. theres been a person in my life for a while now that i havent been distancing myself from as much as i should have been, but now i want to try and work on finding ways to enjoy fandom spaces again. im tired of being scared of being expressive and enjoying myself.

im going to start writing more fics that i just enjoy, fucking around and just having fun, and I’ve been starting to doodle a little bit too c: i dont mean to make a post to like say anything big i guess i just kinda wanted to air out my thoughts a little bit (and i do have to admit it feels amazing to just get this all off my chest) but i guess if you read all this i wanna say i love you and i want you to do something good for your mental health today because its so hard to recognize when something is hurting you and even harder to try and fix it especially when it feels impossible but I believe in you and I love you :3

[poolboyservice]

(look here for more context)

well, well, well, isn't it by far the longest list I'll probably ever make in my existence as an alter, let alone our life? let's just cut to the chase: I'm ranking all of my fanfiction on Quotev. And by golly is there a lot!

Keep in mind that while I do have original stories such as Comet Boy, I am gonna be ranking solely my fanfiction.

Under this cut, we're going through a ranking of 11-1, going from least to most personal favorite, which is the total fanfiction I've written ever basically. This is excluding quizzes and unfinished fanfiction that aren't published. We'll start with the ranking, then I'll reblog with the quizzes, and unfinished works later, because the ranking alone is really long.

ALSO, TO CLARIFY: All the fanfiction I am mentioning is on Quotev. There's not really any other way for you to read them atm, but I am planning on publishing some to AO3.

I'm genuinely terrified to post this, but without anymore fluff, let's go.

RANKING ALL PUBLISHED FANFICTION

#11: child of a vampire, lover of a killer (sus mcr x reader fic owo?), MCR parody fic, link

This is my least favorite fanfiction of all time. I fucking regret writing this disgrace and I hate it with my heart. Ignoring the fact that I didn't put my heart into it, everyone LOVED this fanfiction the most, and for a while it felt like no matter what I posted or what I did, the only thing that mattered to my followers was just that stupid parody fic. I don't think I ever really hated something I made until I made this. I'm glad more people are starting to gravitate towards my more genuine works but god.

#10: Something's Not Right..., killjoys au, sigh... link

So you know how I said I fucking HATED child of a vampire? Well this one is a second. It's not really the idea I hate (au where the Killjoys names are taken literally), actually, I kinda made a revamp of this fic after with some changes!, but the execution along with frankly its revamp is bad... I am horrible at life advice, but dear future me: DONT DO THIS EVER AGAIN. The plot is basically nonexistent, and you can hardly even read what Fun Ghoul and Kobra Kid say, because for some reason I thought people fully understood what the fuck they were saying, so I didn't provide ANY translations!! It's not the worst I've written (flashbacks to my creepypasta era), but god it's definitely bad.

now, finally, with my grievances out, this is where I actually show you stuff I don't hate with my bones

#9: The Travel To Headbutt THE OLD GOAT, goatsim x mcr mashup, link

not really bad, per se, honestly, I could even say it's cute. It follows my average gameplay in goat simulator basically, featuring a totally underused (sarcasm) Bulletproof Heart reference in the end. It's only lower because I didn't even finish the first chapter. Surprisingly, this is a fanfic a lot of people like, despite its.. weirdness.

#8: Slightly Tilted (A Killjoy AU Fic), title explains itself, link

This one isn't actually that bad, and it actually has finished chapters. The dialog with Kobra Kid is ten times better, and I even explained some of the AU (at least with the characters) so there's given context! Honestly, I only put it in a lower ranking because I'm salty i never mentioned the Girl and the constantly changing perspectives. At least it was one perspective per chapter. Also, this becomes a more common problem with some fanfiction I wrote in 2022, but for some reason I wrote dialog like " This ". Whenever I get to posting all of these lovely cringefics on AO3, I will be fixing that, along with updating that on Quotev. For the meantime, we will need to deal with it.

#7: Confused Spider, killjoy au, link

Honestly, it's not bad, but it's really not good either. Unfinished, unnatural interaction. You can tell I have never talked with a neurotypical person or really anyone in years. I don't really like how Party Poison is characterized. I don't know what I could really say here, it's just really a nothing fic. Dialogue spacing problem like " this " still persists.

#6: Odd Place (Party Poison x Reader), killjoy y/n fic basically, link

Unironically? It's bad, really bad. Despite this taking me an entire year writing, and me actively avoiding every y/n cliche I saw, I accidentally made this fanfiction even more like a y/n self insert. The grammar is bad, the prologue is shit, the paragraphs are completely disorganized, the characterization is horrid, and so help me god if I see another "author's note" in ANY PART OF THIS FIC. Ironically? Genuinely a funny fanfic. It is so bad, it ends up being funny. I 100% recommend getting on call with your friends and reading this out loud because you will be howling by the end of it.

#5: pretty, pretty fangs, Twilight oneshot, link

Yeah, pretty startling surprise compared so everything you just saw, right? Even more shocking, it's actually turning 1 year old in 2 days as of writing. This was written in honor of one of my friends writing a really good AU where instead of Bella and Edward, it's Bella and Alice, where I then wrote about Jacob and Edward. I actually never read or watched Twilight when I wrote this, so I was really using memes and what said friend has said about the characters. My friend and other people really liked it, so I think I characterized Jacob and Edward pretty good in this. As said, I haven't read or watched Twilight in any way except for maybe the very last movie, so I really know nothing lol. enjoy your werewolf-vampire yaoi ig

#4: Coffee Machine (Frerard) [clickbait title], not frerard, but a MCR AU about ghosts, link

Contrary to what the title says, it has nothing to do with Frerard! I just felt like being a dick and added it to the title to catch the viewer's attention. Honestly, I kinda like this one. I was more than aware about how ridiculous the concept is that Gerard Way is literally a coffee machine, but despite that, I still treated this with respect and took it seriously. This was/is one of my more popular fanfiction amongst my followers, aside from the wretched 'child of a vampire', and I guess I see why. Little bonus fact: This was inspired of a fanfiction I heard of where apparently Gerard was a housefly, do what you will with that.

#3: A Second Chance, Take a Life, Another Mission, MCR zombie AU, link

A dark twist on a fanfiction I wrote before this that has yet to be mentioned, but will show up later. Honestly, out of all of these, this one is frankly the longest fanfic I wrote, both in length, and how long it took me to write this. Like, I think chapter 1 alone took me three months, and chapter 2 took me seven. One of my older fics, yes, but I think it aged pretty good for the most part. There are some gripes I have but they're mostly personal, rather than anything in terms of actual writing skill. I will say though, I feel with how I described things and stuff, this should've been an animation rather than a text.

#2: Burning Bolts, scientist au, link

Despite this being only 1 chapter long, and franky really silly, this is one of my personal favorites. Sure, it is very unrealistic for Gerard or even literally the laws of science and physics, but I genuinely had fun with it. I was actually inspired by one of my childhood shows, The Adventures of Figaro Pho. Honestly, one of my regrets is really not continuing on this. There isn't much I can really say.

and, finally...

#1: Zombie Disco, MCR zombie AU, link

This.. I have a lot to say about this one specifically. To start, wow is this writing and storyline actually insane. Most of this was written on mobile, and it really shows. The dialog spacing issue is EXTREMELY bad here, the extra spacing between paragraphs, the drawings I did for this one, the exaggerated grammar (i.e. "WHAT THE FUUUUCK?!"). THE BONER JOKE. This has it all, this was my Frankenstein's monster. This is my baby. I have no words, it's genuinely hilarious. Ironically, this is my favorite fanfiction, and it's one of the earliest fanfictions I wrote. I have changed a lot in progress and it really shows if you look at what I write now vs. this fanfiction. I would hate but honestly, I love it. The sole reason this even happened was because I was having a horrible panic attack in the middle of the night, and in an attempt to calm myself down, I wrote the entirety of the first chapter, and I liked it so much afterwards, I published it. This fanfiction means a lot to me, even if it's probably the worst I have ever written, writing skill wise. Currently, I'm actually rewriting this, and yes I will include the infamous joke in some fucking way because I don't think I could've written anything funnier than having Frank Iero comparing a zombie's involuntary craving of flesh to a boner. I'm sorry, I'm being like a 12 year old rn, I don't care, that's funny!! 2022 me was whack.

and... that's it! that took me a long time to do but hey, I did it. I feel really scared of posting it but it's whatever.

[toodrasticallydumb]

20 questions for fic writers

Oh! Hello! I was tagged by @pinkytoothlesso11 ! Thanks for thinking of me pinky! I’m kinda new to the whole fanfic scene so i really appreciate it! This was already a long list of questions to begin with but i fear i may have made it worse…

OH WELL HAVE FUN SPORT :}>

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Unfortunately just 2, though I do plan to add a few more in the future as ideas flow. Might take me a minute ‘cause my schedule is just a little bit kinda sorta really swamped down with my main child which requires let me you, A LOT OF CARE DONT SIGN UP TO ADOPT KIDS PEOPLE IT’S NOT—

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Phew. ummmm it changes very rapidly (because i’m a girl w suspected adhd and can NEVER be told to shut up) with every chapter but as of this moment is 228,665! wow! i don’t really know how great of a number that is but i’m sure it’s a lot! I told you I can never shut up! (-whispers- Hey kid, u want some dRuGs? i mean- an update? That itty bitty word count is about to take another not regularly scheduled mini-skyrocket so get ready for it ehehe ;})

3. What fandoms do you write for?

For now, just Trollhunters/Tales of Arcadia, mainly Trollhunters despite the fact that the first of the Tales of Arcadia shows that i watched and really enjoyed was actually 3-Below, but oh well my man is in Trollhunters sooooo oopsie but i DO have some random snippets of fics for Miraculous (rewrite), the Star Wars sequels (rewrite), Batman, some for the Dream SMP, and weirdly enough also Raya and the Last Dragon (rewrite). All of which i prolly wont ever post because i wrote them a while ago and yeaaaahhh not my best writing but if i get enough people other than my best friend wanting me to post them, i might…

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

uhhhh i dont actually HAVE five fics to my name, so i’ll just…put em in order (w their long-ahh title names):

Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen

'A MiStAkE' because I haven't updated in ages--A Stricklake month 2023 prompt collection

but i am so happy for the people who have left so many kudos on my work it really warms mah little heart ❤️

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. At first, I sorta struggled with it (who the heck am i kidding i STILL do) but since my fic USED to be two times a week updates i would feel like i couldn’t respond to a comment left after i posted a new chapter so i might’ve left some comments in the earlier days unanswered, super sorry. Nowadays i make it a point to reply back to everyone in the order that they commented in because (anxiety makes me think if i don’t respond they won’t comment anymore and know that i love reading their comments and that they’re so amazing for actually taking the time to write something back AND I DO LOVE IT I PROMISE IT JUST TAKES ME A WHILE TO RESPOND—) …because it’s pretty chill to geek out w em and see they liked stuff that i loved to write! I do have a backlog of comments to get to i just end up overthinking everything to match the person’s energy to be sure they know i love em.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Unfortunately, i haven’t actually finished a fully-fledged fic to say it has the angstiest ending bUt definitely a contender would be chapter 1 of my 2023 Stricklake prompt collection because i just leave it on the sad note and don’t do anything about it because angst and because spoilers for my actual story fic that will eventually make it to that point.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending, huh? I like to say that most of the things i will/have chosen to write end happy/hopeful because i hate when books/tv shows end bittersweetly it’s like i have enough with life itself being bittersweet most of the time let me be happy LET THEM BE HAPPY. But that doesn’t exclude me from providing the proper banquet of angst that ends in caretaking, my absolute favorite trope.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh heck no. I would be devastated honestly, but thankfully everyone who comments is always the sweetest and kindest people ever and really encourage me to keep going, for that i am only thankful.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Just no. I love romance but i am a minor, so i’ve never consumed smut nor intend to ever write it. Give me a soft romance and loving gestures, I can allude to greater happenings but not details.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t, sorry. I don’t know something in me just doesn’t sit well with crossovers, for the life of me I don’t know why. Like genuinely i wish i could get into them but maybe it’s like food on a plate? i don’t like the foods touching each other so maybe the same rules apply??? yeah i’m drasticallydumb

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so, and if someone did they’re in for a heck of a lot of work there…

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I’d like to sometime but i have no idea how one even goes about making a co-written fic, on top of which i am a very sporadic person in terms of motivation and random ideas produced by a song i’m listening to while writing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Stricklake obviously is a really big contender if not the winner, the ship that brought me to AO3, writing fanfics, and tumblr. But, if i had to pick other options i’d say Eugene and Repunzel from Tangled would be one of my ogs, another might be uhhh Chris and Aviva from Wild Kratts the og of the ogs.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Chapter 3 of my stricklake 2023 prompt collection, it just has a lot of moving parts and me and my best friend are chronic procrastinators and with the month pretty far gone it might just end up sittin’ there for the foreseeable future 😞 but who knows

16. What are your writing strengths?

Phew, that’s a dozy mainly because i’m not super sure. I’d like to think one of my main strengths is descriptions and really putting you in the mind of the character, i don’t really like spelling things out and i like a little investigating to get you where u end up, u know? I like to think my writing FEELS a little more like a show on a page rather than a true book, most to blame would be my maladaptive daydreaming taking up a lot of time in my planning for my writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ah. How the turn tables. I would say that my weaknesses in writing mostly consist of me going a little *too* far into detail on meaningless things or making it too convoluted for people to understand, sometimes spelling it out is better in certain scenarios and i just really need to get myself past that. Another one i would say is that i go REALLY into detail not only in a sentence/chapter sense but also a complete STORYLINE sense, i hate time skips and i shoot myself in the foot wanting to completely document every moment of everyday w a character and hence it seems like a lot of time in universe hasn’t gone by. Trying to improve and grow tho 💪

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Can’t wait to do more of it! Especially with Claire and her family (including NotEnrique) speaking spanglish w each other automatically mainly because i am hispanic and completely fluent in Spanish and live in a similar household so i just love to add a little ✨personalization✨ to my dialogue and interactions in that way. Other languages………….yeaaaahhh i’m not super good will prolly use google translate and hope.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters, my gateway into AO3. HOWEVER. if you promise not to tell, the very first fandom i read/wanted to write a fanfic for was actually, as far as i can tell, Wordgirl. don’t ask why. don’t ask me how. it just kinda happened. But, officially, it’s Trollhunters. (maybe with a side of Warrior Cats).

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Not hard at all! My pride and joy, my youngest baby in the grand scheme of my writing journey, Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen! A surprise to absolutely NO ONE. It’s honestly so amazing to both write and see people read and enjoy as much as I do, he’s my little man ❤️ And doing so much rewriting and character growth and having so much written and planned for the future, it’s just my absolute fav

[krisseratops]

Hi! How about A9, B9 and C6? Oh, and D10!

Hiiii hon! Alright lets see...

A9. Who was your first ship?

The earliest ship I remember that I got actually invested in is Reaper76 from Overwatch. I mean, traumatized old gay men who like to shoot at each other and have a HistoryTM? It covers all the basics for me. Also this ship is what made me find AO3, so it kinda introduced me to fandom as a whole and is therefore technically responsible for all the madness that came after it.

B9. Who is your OTP?

You know, I was going to say this is a hard question because I have so many pairings I like in several fandoms and I dont really pick favorites because I like different aspects about them and also Im indecisive. And then I remembered Symbrock. And nothing really comes near the level of absolutely messy devotion of (comics!)Symbrock. So yeah.

C6. Is there anything in canon that made you want to quit the show? What was it? Why do you hate it?

Oh boy, here we go... So not a show, but allllll the shit Cates did with absolute garbage & co and what came after essentially made me quit venom comics and comics in general. Do I even need to explain myself? Like I was keeping up with Venom and also Spider-man and some others because it was fun and enjoyable. And then came the egregious retconning, inconsistencies, character butchering (both how they were written but also literally), characters dying and coming back and dying again and coming back again and fucking gods apparently and how every single issue was The Most Shocking And Dramatic Things The Characters Have Ever Been Through and everything is just edgy and grimdark and angsty and so fucking STUPID and it was just. It wasnt fun or enjoyable anymore, only exhausting and frustrating and sad. And not sad like a sad story makes you feel, but sad like watching something you care about irreparably crash and burn in real time without being able to do anything about it and knowing you can never have it back the way it was (which there is enough of IRL). So I powered through until king in black where I just said "reading this bullshit is draining and depressing and doesnt bring me anything, its not worth it anymore so fuck it" and just stopped. And with my main reason for reading comics gone I ditched marvel comics altogether because lets be honest keeping up with all the different stories and timelines and crossovers and whatnot is exhausting cuz theres just so damn much going on all the time. And why torment yourself with shitty canon when you can have wonderful fanfics tailored to your specific tastes all for free? So I quit comics, read fics instead, got into some new fandoms, indulged my hc and have ever since been living blissfully unaware of the burning dumpster fire (derogatory) that is canon. I only see glimpses of it when it crosses my dash, which I use for cherrypicking for my hc and aggressively ignore the rest.

D10. What is one story idea you really want to read but no one has written yet?

I have a whole lot of story ideas I really want to read (my hcs) that no one has written yet (that would be cuz of me not writing them). But for real, I would love more stories with symbiote & spider-people shenanigans. Like there was this one comic of Peter, Miles and Gwen meeting Venom and fighting Doc Ock toghether and they were kinda buddies? More stuff like that, that has spider/symbiote interaction besides them just trying to kill each other. Maybe it exists and I just havent found it. But like, Venom in spiderverse, they have to team up with the spider gang and they kinda get along because he doesnt have any personal beef with them. He will absolutely recite and discuss Shakespear with that medieval spiderman, be enamored with little Mayday, and be nothing but gentlemanly toward spider ma'am. The other spiders find that "yeah he is freaky and has some dubious morals but isnt actually just an evil monster, he just doesnt like you Peter". The Peter in question does not like it one bit. Him and Venom (barely) tolerate each other, as they always do when they team up, but are constantly petty and passive aggressive towards each other in a funny way, bickering like an old married couple. Because of the nature of their history they also know stuff about each other and will casually drop highly personal details about the other that makes the other spiders go "👀 you sure he's your enemy and not just your ex?". Which Peter likes even less. Other story ideas i desperately need is ANYTHING WITH ANTI-VENOM HOLY SHIT WHERE IS MY BABY!?!?!?! I need stories that let him be a silly dumbass and a pathetic wet beast and occasionally getting railed that dont just exist in my head. But the amount of content on him is just dismal. I often feel like the sole inhabitant of the ghost town that is the Anti-Venom fandom. I've come across one (1) quality fic that portrays him properly (thank you @kitausuret for your invaluable service) and good art is hard to come by compared to other characters. And I realize that if I want more art of him and an Anti-Venom x Agent Venom arch-enemies-to-reluctant-allies-to-even-more-reluctant-friends-to-how-the-hell-did-this-happen excruciating slow burn, I will probably have to do it myself, which hghgnghgnhhh will take forever, but oh well.

Well, this sorta turned into an essay that turned into an impromptu vent post. Hope thats okay and you got your answers!

[himbos-hotline]

I’ve probably asked before but favorite wrestling ship(s) & favorite wrestling fic(s) that you’ve written or you’ve read

Hangkenny

hangmatt

hangnick

The polycule

the elite polycule

goldens lovers

chuck and trent

chuck trent and orange

i have a weird love hate relatiosnhip with cmjf [its one of the first wresling ships ive shipped, I forfollow some real talented wpeople who write it, punk makes me wanna punch through a wall and in the worse way possible]

briit baker and jamie hayer

zowens

brit and cole [litearlly melt into a small pile of "im aroace but i want what they have]

the sheild was the first polycule i ever shipped

HOOKHAUSEN MY BELOVED

ive read offically one jungleboy/darby fic and its in my brain rent free

william regal/excalibur

RJ City/Clauido [my big sibling and I made that one]

jon moxley and eddie kingston

hungbucks

cash and dax

I think, if I find a fic with the right vibe, ill ship basically anything...I also have a real softspot of like, OC x canon ships.... *stares at the mass of my OCS*

As for fics, there sooooo many of other peoples. Like theres some that fundermentally changed my brain chestry with certain lines. Ill get it down to my top like, 3

@miserablecreachur 's There's a fire in you that gets me all upset/And I'll bring up the past while you try to touch my leg

Literally, its a fic my big sibling and I talk about CONSTANTLY and the fucking line "It was when he had the chair raised that he caught the blue in Cole’s eyes. Blue like Kenny’s eyes. And all of a sudden he couldn’t, not anymore. Even though he should, and he knew he should. He couldn’t defeat Kenny by becoming Kenny. That was all. That it was it." fucking chews me up inside, its litearlly a fucking

anything by @old-no7 theres something about the write he writes that just grips me in and makes the stories live imn my head rent free. the imagery and the way they write is so cool and tbh their writing really is the way im getting my words back, because I read their fics and my brain just vibrates with pictures that I have to find my own words for....they got me into shipping the elite polycule and are one of the biggest reasons why I continued my hungbucks story [which I will pick up on when I remember where the story was going]

Cinderella stories never happen to whores by dojadoja on AO3 [if theyre on tumblr pls tag them in this!!] I burned through the entire fic while waiting in the bank and never wanted to tear a fic up between my teeth more or just hold it between my hands and just...I want to be violent against this fic for hte amount of emotions it like, gave me..its such a good read!!!

For fics I myself have written...

Uhh, again top three because I dont wanna make this ask longer than what it should be.

An open hand [for your other man]. I love the softness between kenny and the bucks versus the roughness between hangy and adam, literally makes me wanna cry if I think about Kenny is soft with everyone apart from hangman

I find myself alone at night [Unless I'm having sex] somehow I managed to make a soft fic prompt into something heartbreaking. this fic has artwork connected to it

theres a lot more fanfics that I LOVE and ones that im proud off but for now, theyre the only two I can think off. the

[christynotawitch]

Sometimes I am jealous of people who can enjoy thingsthat much. People who enjoy a band, a singer, a musician, a show, a film, a book, an artwork,.... so much, people who listen to music 24/7 and people who burn for their passion.

I just... don't feel passion for anything that much anymore, except maybe one topic and I can't rant about that because I would need to fucking study it.

Mind, I still feel passion but I lost the "deep dive" ability/motivation. I lost the "no thoughts, only X".

And it's not even a big bother. It's just... sad? Sad to see a part of me, a part i held so dearly go.

I still read fanfics, I just dont write them anymore. I don't really ship anymore, I can read all ships equally without bother (maybe I have some preferences but eh, in the end I care more about the story itself so whatever is a mean to the end goal).

I still enjoy shows, I still enjoy books, eventho I rarely read them anymore. I just don't join the fandom like I used to. I'm no longer active, I'm a passive member who doesn't jump into new fandom to explore and I just don't know why?

[bye-bye-firefly]

The die young animatic! I saw that in my youtube recommendations like a while ago and then I started it, was like “this seems cool” and then did something else and forgot to ever finish it so thanks for reminding me, that was really fun to watch!

And like Kaito and Kokichi’s relationship is just so good! Like I personally think I like them more platonically but I do really like oumota a good bit. I don’t really indulge in too much fan content for it though. But like you put everything about the hanger situation together so perfectly??? It’s so sad. The killing game is so sad. It just brings out some of the absolute worst in someone and makes them so scared and then that someone is just dead??? They’re never getting better? They can’t heal? They can’t live? They can’t learn to be happier? They’re just gone? And like these people could’ve had such different relationships, these people could’ve been friends? If they had just known each other?? And like my heart is broken. Shattered into little pieces. Why must I always get into such messed up stuff and get so attached to the characters? Why do I do this to myself? Why?????

Also, do you have any fanfic recs for like post game simulation stuff? Hearing you talk about it has now made me in the mood to read some

sooo the bad part about asking me for fic recs is that. i dont actually read a lot of fanfiction. i just Make it when i DO read fanfiction its normally stuff that my friends give me so i dont normally Puruse Around its like my biggest sin as a fan creator is that i love talking about how fanfiction is beautiful and that people should keep writing fanfiction and people should stop making fun of people who write fanfiction but i very rarely get the urge to go snooping around for fanfiction myself...

SO! i turned to micah kaedyu for this!

therefore you and me by unseeliekey from what i have seen and heard from micah is amazing and gorgeous even. its unfinished but micah loves the shit out of it and has reread it many a time and loses her mind EVERY SINGLE TIME. micah is generally unseeliekey's biggest fan. he really loves everything that they put out. they are unfortunately not in the fandom anymore so this is probably not going to be updated any time soon and remains unfinished FOREVER! but its still really good. i trust micah's judgement for the most part

steps from your pulse by kaylenep SOOOO fun and has sleepy shit mixed in here so you know that i like it. this is a really sweet fic im glad that micah sent it to me

and that is about it. there was another one but i didnt really like it so im not going to recommend it. it just. it was so Hopeless. and i dont like hopeless narratives or endings which is ironic because i like danganronpa and specifically love v3 the most

[samwise9]

Hi, this is probably a very late response, not much of a question. I have stumbled upon your account and read through the whole "drifting away from Lucemond pairing" thing.

That's honestly very relatable. I used to like them a lot at the beginning, read through almost every fanfic, even yours too (they are great & you are one of the greatest Lucemond fanfic writers out there).

Honestly, it's kinda difficult for me to find out why it has become so hard to like the pairing (at least for me) because in the beginning, it was just so great, y'know, like magic. The Golden Era is probably in the beginning.

But you formulated so well, especially about the fandom discourse thing. I started falling off around the time one of the Lucemond fanfic I followed ended.

Afterwards, it's just constantly trying to catch up then failing. The last straw is probably when the discourse/drama about bottom/feminine/omega Luke being anti-tr4ns (which I don't get), and people start being a puritan about their preferred Lucemond Dynamics (top/bottom thing). It's all so silly, like they are the same ship with only slightly different dynamics, why bother hating on other people who doesn't have the same preference as theirs when they can just not interact.

The oversaturation & internal shipwars become tiring real fast. Even if a lot of content is supposed to be a good thing, for some reason it becomes one of the factors.

One of the silliest things I have ever come across on reading fic under that ship tag is when upon reading a supposedly "good fic" (that one of the readers start cross promoting it under other people's fic), the author opens the story by going on a rant how they don't like ABO, while writing & integrating ABO into their fic & making it a central theme. The author also calls ABO trope problematic (why do they even write a fanfic about it when they don't like the trope and call it "gross" then?)

When some people call the author out on it, they just go on this long paragraphic arguments in the comment section. It ends up being entertaining, but somehow tiring, too. I end up clicking out after reading the war in the comments.

You probably have read it. It's popular despite the author starting their fic with that hate note to the ABO trope.

Anyway, I just want to say I fully agree with you that some people are so toxic that their discourse ended up making others uncomfortable despite it being such a good pairing. Thank you for clearing it up. Now, I have a guess why I ended up falling off the pairing.

Also, I want to ask, do you think content oversaturation contributes to people leaving a ship ? Because I am on the fence about this too, on one side, contents keep a fandom alive, but on the other, it makes me dislike a ship despite liking it beforehand (could be because of other reasons, I just haven't discover it I guess).

I want to ask you a lot more, your opinions are really interesting. Thank you for engaging in QnA (ignore those people who are just trying to argue with you by submitting anon, I read them, and they come across as somewhat trying to rile you up).

It's fine if you don't answer this, I just want to send it because I do like going through your account, reading your responses, and see the discussion why & how you don't follow this certain pairing anymore (it is rarely discussed, so discovering your answers are interesting).

Sorry if some terms are unfamiliar/hard to understand, English isn't my first language.

God i am so sorry for how long it has taken me to get to your ask. No excuse, I have just been exceptionally lazy over the past few months and I cannot promise that this won't happen again however I am trying to avoid doing my real life job so here I am. Also your English is perfect so dont worry. It is better than mine and it is my first language 👍. I have a feeling that for as long as your ask was, my answer will be equally as long.

I am with you re. the internal ship wars. Let people read what they want to read and write what they want to write and it's all golden. I cannot stand people who try to dictate and police what others do be it in fan art, in a fic or, on a few memorable occasions, what people post on the Lucemond tumblr hash-tag.

Ahh yeah I do vaguely remember coming across an abo fic where the author was open on how they thought the trope was problematic which I found quite funny but it is a trope that is extremely popular in the fandom and, at the time, I thought that it wasn't that surprising that authors who haven't previously written the trope would expand into it, especially when hits/kudos began to dwindle across the whole fandom. However I mind reading an ask answer on here ages ago about how popular abo is in Lucemond and a really good point made was that abo is just a really good way of removing obstacles you have plot wise when you have a same sex ship, especially in a universe such as HoTD and GoT where canon is so detailed and lore heavy. That may be why writers who don't agree with the underlying tropes still utilise abo as it means you are not having to spend chapter or chaper trying to untangle a way to make the story work in a canon setting.  I do think there is a way to do abo without the problematic aspect some people have with it but I suppose its all down to how much of the trope you take issue with. It's something I have done in the past (both use it as a easy plot device and remove the aspects of the trope that I dont particularly jive with as a reader) and will probably do more of going forward.

In terms of oversaturation and people leaving the ship I dont think it was/is an issue with Lucemond as such. I just think Lucemond was always a ship which, with the benefit of hindsight, was destined for a relatively short shelf-life just by its very nature - at the end of the day the ship involves one person who is canonically dead in a show that is only on its first season with some very popular characters who are either still to make their debut or ones who will take more of a center stage in the following seasons. From being in a number of fandoms the truly popular ships which are able to continue to retain the levels of fan interaction that they had at the beginning were able to do so because the two characters in a ship continously interacted in a show/film (even if it is only a few scenes every now and then) which galvanised shippers to create more content. Lucemond simply doesn't have that as one character is dragon food. The discourse, IMO, just hastened the rate in which people left.

I think the downside to how quickly the ship exploded did contribute to is making people stuck in their ways somewhat. People have their preferences on what they want Aemond and Luke to act like and who they are and it makes it difficult for creators who want to go out of the box to get a foothold - the result of that is that they just go to different fandoms where they don't get shit for having one character bottom and the other topping or get thousands of notifications because yet another argument has broken out in a comments section but things will likely pick up once the new season hits.

[br1ghtestlight]

20 questions for fic writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3

23

2. What’s your total word count?

109,996

3. What fandoms do you write for?

bob's burgers, inanimate insanity and there's like one steven universe fic in there. i have written for other fandoms in the past but not on that account lol (and mostly unpublished)

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

zeke running away fic, genderfluid gene fic, louise hat fic, bob mom fic, tinimmy week fic (the problem with naming all my fanfics after really long complicated song lyrics is that i simply will not actually call the fanfictions by their Actual Name. also not linking them bcuz im lazy)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i always try to respond to comments but tbh people dont comment on my work very often?? i also dont reply to comments on my old account bcuz i dont have access to it anymore

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i dont know if ive ever written anything angsty tbh?? thats not really my favorite thing because it makes me too sad. out of my published fanfics probably the fic about bob's mom wins by default and out of my unpublished wips uhh maybe my louise and tina focused fanfic. it has a happy ending (maybe) but its a real downer at times. or maybe my tinimmy fic is bittersweet depending on how you read it

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

maybe my fanfic where bob gets a garden LMAO or my genderfluid gene fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no!!! actually a secret about me in that my almost 10 years posting art fanfics etc online i have never gotten a single negative comment on anything ive made. i feel very lucky :)

9. Do you write smut?

never have and never will (nothing wrong with it in most contexts but im asexual and smut is extremely Not My Thing. i actually tried writing a smut fic once to challenge myself a few years ago and spent like 1000 words describing the way the candles were lit in their bedroom before i realized its simply not for me and thats fine)

10. Do you write crossovers?

no but if my hyperfixations ever gave me an opportunity to crossover maybe?? any bob's burgers character on the infinity train would be hilarious. any hfjone character would be heartbreaking

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont remember but im gonna go with probably not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

NO I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN but im too much of a perfectionist w/ my writing and i would be worried about dragging the other person down with me. maybe if my ocd ever gets medicated idk

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

it depends on my mood but right now i have been thinking abt tina and jimmy jr a lot. not even romantically their relationship is just so interesting. jimmy jr/zeke/tina is also great. marshall lee and gary.... bryce and liam??

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

i have like over 30+ wips so thats probably a lot of them FJDMDMSJSKS something i would love to finish at some point but probably never will is a fanfic about how bob and linda overcame the cycle of abuse with their own childhood memories vs how they are with their kids. maybe i could write that with somebody else and we each do like a chapter at a time (they write linda's memories and i write bob's etc)

16. What are your writing strengths?

people always tell me that im really good at capturing character's voices and personalities and making them feel in character?? i always want my stories to feel like something that could actually happen in-universe and make it make sense with the characters etc. i think part of this comes from working w/ my own ocs and thinking so hard about how different people express and communicate things and then applying that to other characters is easy. and bcuz of how my autism works i can memorize how a person or character constructs sentences and create new sentences inside my head in their voice :D i really pay attention to peoples speaking patterns & how they phrase things

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably how perfectionist i am about grammar and using certain words phrases punctuation etc that it takes FOREVER to get anything done. i also think im too wordy. i can turn a fifteen word sentence into a fifty word sentence easily which is great for essays but kinda annoying when you're reading a silly bobs burgers fanfic

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

i dont mind doing it for my ocs but to my knowledge none of the bob's burgers characters speak another language as their native language?? so i cant see it coming up in anything i write

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i dont really wanna say bcuz its embarrassing and i was pretty young LMAO but it was like youtuber fanfic on wattpad (wayy before whatever youtubers you're thinking of they were never famous)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

hmm either my tinimmy week fic or my genderfluid gene fic it changes depending on the day. right now its my tinimmy week fanfic <3

[devils-dares]

THIS IS NOT A HATE ANON DEVON I LOVE YOU

Anon get a life challenge. Literally people on the internet with takes like that are irrelevant.

Some of us have lives and things to do outside of working on fanfics WE put out for yall. If you fucking wanting something done asap DO IT YOURSELVES!!! telling someone to kts is literally so fucking childish, just cuz ur not getting what you want immediately.

Writing takes so much time and energy!!! @ anon YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW THIS PERSON

You don't know what the fuck they are doing outside of writing so stay in your fucking lane bro.

Devon, I hope you have a good rest of your day/night depite those absolute lugnut anons you are getting. In the end of the day, they clearly have nothing better to do, and are just garbage people who need to get over themselves. Keep going at your own pace and I hope you feel better.

thank you truly for typing this out. i don't think non-creators realize how much time, effort, and energy it takes to make something. being so blantantly for real under the cut/tw for mental and physical health, hospitals

thank you for supporting me, for being here, for reading my material, reblogging my works and leaving comments. i'll try my damndest to be here for all of you.

this past week has drained me more than anything ever has. i went from going to the college campus nurse to thinking i could die while getting fucking rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. i have been holding it fucking together at home by the seams, the literal seams. coming out of the hospital on wednesday, i was diagnosed with a rare form of complex migraine, added onto an already not widely known form of chronic dizziness, as well as possible endometriosis. i am at my fucking wit's end. i am in chronic pain. i can't fucking focus anymore. i'm crying every chance i get when i'm alone because i am overwhelmed with every single thing possible. i've been playing this game since i was 14 and i'm 19 now, and there's not going to be any improvement, and i have to come to terms with that.

for those who aren't medically dependent on someone, this might not make sense, but i need to get it off of my chest: i feel like a burden because my family is too fucking nice. they've been there every single goddamn step of the way and misstep i have hurts them too. i felt so bad laying alone in that hospital bed that when my parents burst through the doors i sobbed and apologized over and over again because i immediately knew i ruined everyone's days and weeks.

for me to come to my happy place where not really anyone knows that about me, just to be told to k word myself when i'm already fucking on the edge of it anyway is just so fucking draining. i have near nothing left to give. i'm trying my best.

[morgansplace]

Different anon! And this may seem like I'm asking this just to do a 'whataboutism' which I don't intend to! It's just genuinely something that this discussion makes me think about because people seem to rarely bring this up. The gender neutral aspect of this channel is a major part of it, but the characters (especially listeners as Erik no longer uses terms like 'blushing' and iirc mentioned not using things like sunburn for this reason) are also supposed to be race neutral. That's a major part of the channel as well. This doesn't seem to come up as much in this fandom because I feel like it's mostly white so us always being portrayed as the default race for media without visuals, a lot of us don't think about it.

I cannot imagine what POC must feel like when they scroll through fandom posts and 75% of every listener drawn is white (even the one character with a canonical skin tone Gavin--who may or may not be perceived to be a POC based on what the rest of his appearance coalesced as--is often drawn/fandom cast as pale despite literally calling himself tan in his first appearance). In connection to this, there's also the fact that in this fandom in fanfiction, the vast majority of writers stick to using 'they/them' and keeping the gender neutral part, but often their descriptors do not stick to the characters being race neutral too and people get no heads up for most until they read the fic itself. And while people should be able to draw and write what they want, there's no tagging to keep POC from having to see the 100th white Lovely or tagging/notice to keep them from having to read about blue eyed, blonde haired Angel. And (even though I'm white) that seems to be an incredibly uncomfortable part of this fandom too. I can absolutely imagine pushback to this actually being asked of people (because fandom is mostly white), but to you, should people have to tag (in fanart and fanfic) their white listeners?

I understand completely what you mean by this, anon, and here's my honest opinion about it.

I, as someone that has diverse listeners with different skin tones and race ethnicities, think that it really depends. Because when I ask people to tag their gendered listeners content, is because I know people can get triggered by their gender, or, in the case of non-binary listeners, by how they look.

I know for a fact that when I say "how they look" is about their body, and not their race or appearance in general. (If they're masc/fem-coded)

What you say actually really important, and i see this a lot in fanfiction that is supposed to be gender neutral. I've seen a lot of fanfics where a listeners is always portrayed with green eyes, and I'm sure it's because that's part of the author's oc.

In my opinion, any content that describes the listener's in some way (hair color, eye color, body type, gender, pronouns) is not considered gender neutral anymore, and that's what I call oc content. If someone makes "gender neutral" content with a listener's appearance, that should be tagged as an oc, because I'm not having the opportunity to read your story with my own interpretations, which I can do thanks to the neutrality of the fic.

While what you say is true, everyone has their own visions for each boy and their listeners. I dont know to which extent a listener oc's appearance should be tagged, because I mainly focus on their gender, since is what I've seen and heard is what can trigger someone.

With this, I may be coming off as ignorant, but i can't have a more extent opinion because I truly didn't thought about this until now. I'm not saying you're wrong, and much less saying I'm right.

[vadergf]

exactly, EXACTLY! i feel like people in this fandom have no idea how fandoms work because you can literally do whatever you want. what do you think fanfic and art and aus and everything are for?? it's for exploring ideas about canon that you think are interesting/didn't get explored in the source material etc etc etc. and like. what happens in canon will never change that. like. supernatural for example. idk if u were ever into it but i assume you know about it because well. this is tumblr. but God it was so bad and the fandom's still kicking! istg like. you Have to be new here. if ur so mad about the ending make up your own! a bad ending to a series or piece of media or whatever is not the end of the world! i saw people doomposting sounding like they will never find another piece of media to love again because of this. like guys its ok. its fine because. again you can do whatever you want. i saw a post that said something along the lines of 'the characters are ours to use, you headcanons can't be decanonized now go wild.' like. YEAH. obviously. the characters have always been available to go wild with. they are characters. you can do whatever you want with them within reason obviously but like. i honestly don't get where all of this stuff is coming from in regards to taking characters away from the creators because you can do that no matter what. maybe i'm just so jaded and careless about it because ive been in fandom for a long time, but i think that some of the people on here are really uptight about aus and headcanons and stuff. like it's not real y'all. its fake so you can take any piece you want and make it real. just make shit up. its fun i prommy. and to get sappy for a moment, the fandom was always the life of the dsmp. ALWAYS. at least for me. all the fanwork and analyses and art and everything was the stuff that sucked me in and kept me here for so long. the creators have mirrored this statement over and over. and i feel like this goes along with the "dsmp is dead" idea that happened every couple of weeks a while ago. fandoms don't die the second the content stops. that's not how it works, a fandom dies when nobody is interested anymore. the fandom and the art and the analyses and the fic and the aus and headcanons etc are what gives like to a piece of media, not the other way around. at least for me. make fandom a living breathing thing with your work. just because you didn't like the ending doesn't mean it's all meaningless. people put time and effort into their art surrounding the dsmp and writing that off as a waste of time because of what is an unsatisfying ending to You personally is disrespectful and a slap in the face imo. some people really just dont get it i fear. BTW this isn't me saying the finale was bad lol im just repeating what ive heard others say about it. i havent seen it yet and im excited to!

so sorry to drop this massive ask into your inbox i kinda just started going and couldnt stop lol. been meaning to get a lot of this shit off my chest and i agreed with your post so it just happened to be in here! i hope it sort of makes sense lmao thanks for reading if you do

You're so right!!! I literally don't have anything to add

[meownotgood]

hi omg!! first off i absolutely adore your writing, sometimes i will read a sentence and will have to pause/screech over how well it's written. it's so beautiful i deadass cry sometimes.

now i've wanted to share something with u i've discussed w my friend before. idk about you but i love love love angst and hurt/comfort. and i was thinking about an aki fanfic (because aki brainrot) like, y/n and aki are a couple that just broke up a few months ago but they still haven't gotten over each other!!! and then they both randomly meet again at a party and all the feelings resurface and they keep stealing glances at each other, but they're about to cry, it hurts so bad because they each think the other person is over them (and the fact other people are flirting with them doesn't help) !!! D: so then one of the two leaves, the other notices and follows and finds them locked in the janitors room (or whatever else ) crying, and they join them. and they have a long conversation about their feelings and past relationship. oh and then maybe they smash. anyways thoughts?? i love these types of fanfics idek what genre this is 😭😭 oh also.... if u want to write a fanfic like that..... i wouldn't complain... BUT U DONT HAVE TO OMG WRITE WJATEVER U WANT i enjoy everything (and if u happened to be inspired by this ofc change anything to u liking 😭) !! i might actually try to write this myself but idk yet!! hehe. god this is so long. also this is not a request i genuinely just wanna talk about this trope to someone... unless u want it to be a request... okay i'm joking. this is so long. AHH

OMG HI ANON I WILL ANSWER UNDER THE CUT!!!!!! :D 💓

I'm really glad you like my writing, it makes me so happy to hear that!!! and omg... your idea... listen, I'm not the best at writing angst, but it's my favorite. and if you pair angst with romance it's just... MUAH. perfection. I can't have my romance without having a touch of angst in there, I just can't

your idea is so good, it makes me think, who would start crying first, aki or the reader... aah, I feel like it would be aki, it's just in his nature to hide away to cry like that. especially after seeing you talking to everyone else and avoiding him, it'd hurt him so much everytime he sees you, and he wants to go up and talk to you but just doesn't know what to say. but then when you find him and walk in, ask if he's okay, he can't hold it back anymore, so he just hugs you and sobs.... tells you he's sorry for everything that happened..... baah...

I've had an exes to lovers type aki fanfic lingering in my brain for a while, it would be something like aki and the reader used to date when they were young adults, before aki left for tokyo to become a devil hunter. and then when they see each other again, neither of them got a chance to properly say goodbye, so there's a lot of unresolved feelings... and of course they'd be much older, so they'd discuss what's been going on in their lives since then (and inevitably start to date just like they did before)

smashing is definitely not a necessity... but I'm a sucker for some angsty sex between exes so.... I feel like I would end up including it even if I wasn't trying to LOL. rediscovering a new level of intimacy with one another.... showing the other person your most vulnerable side because they were the only person you ever trusted enough to show it to...... it's too good

I can't make any promises about what I will or won't write because I sort of just write things on a whim, and I have a lot of ideas, so all I can say is it is an idea I have, nothing is quite planned yet. but I like your idea a lot, if I start to write something like that, I'll look back at your ask to spur my brain 🙏💓 I might be able to work some of those ideas in! I really like the concept of the reader and aki crying together like that... just makes my heart go a little crazy

thank you for talking about this with me!!! I love when people discuss aki thoughts with me. ^^ so I appreciate you sharing, and I appreciate your kinds words too!!! I'm glad you'd trust me with your idea haha. I hope eventually I can deliver something like this that you'll enjoy anon!!!!! stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!

[first-only]

You know, knowing that the majority of the world does not/ has not read fanfiction is such a weird thing to me. And I don't mean that in a 'why aren't people more like me?' or a 'those people are weird' kinda way

I guess it's just cause fanfic is something that is very important to me, and is something that has made me happy, it's one of my core interest. This isn't just related to fic, all of my interests are like that. Whenever I see someone who has no interest in art, or writing, or thinking up stories, it kinda of boggles my mind a bit. And I think it's because I, myself, could not imagine being happy without those doing those hobbies and interests. But other people aren't me, and that is fine! People have a wide range of interests, and what makes someone happy won't be the same as some other people. People are different, and that is a good thing

It is still something that's a bit hard to wrap my head around (which is fine, as long as I don't act like an ass to people who have different interests) but I'm trying my best

right on, anon! brains work weird sometimes but we do reign them in lol

this is actually a very interesting view to me (but valid! very valid!), because when i was like getting into fanfiction and fandom in general it really wasnt that popularized ya know? like very few people knew this niche interest and social group existed, and there was this intra-culture view that all this is sort of a secret, that this is 'our space', its 'just for us'. (taken as a mantra from rpf ofc which is a good practice). so i never expected anyone i didnt meet in such spaces specifically to even /know/ they exist, let alone enjoy them. ive had this situation with a friend with whom we'd been friends for like over 2 years when i casually (accidentally maybe i dont remember anymore) mentioned fic and they literally jumped out of their chair like YOU KNOW WHAT FANFICTION IS?!?! it's still hilarious, we were actual friends for /two years/ and we never revealed our Secret Society cards to each other lol. but yes as it /is/ getting more popular now its more understandable to assume people would've at least heard about it, but still many people and places where its not that much of a thing! that and a lot of people dismiss it as 'cringy' and worthless and obsessed fangirl work which. wig ig lol. and even in more fandom-adjacent circles you'd see people /surprised/ when a fic is actually good bc they never gave fandom a chance, and just dismissed it as a cringy hobby (which is also fine but no need to be patronizing ya know). Personal experiences will shape the way you think of things

as for weird brain refusing to understand rational concepts - i had this meet up with reality when i studied coding. i was in a novice class with a lot of other people and some of them just... didnt get it. not necessarily the problems themselves, but like.. the essential idea of /how code works/. it was very weird to me. they insisted i must have previous experience to catch on that quickly, and well i did, but they were stumbling at the first steps, something that never gave me pause. i was really really shocked then, i just couldnt believe people couldnt grasp a basic function, and i realized i was coming off as a bit patronizing myself. it got to me that i was expecting more of people that just didnt have the perspective that i did. that prompted a whole discussion on How People Think, because it was obvious that these people not getting code were definitely not stupid, this was just a way of thinking that didnt agree with the way their thought process worked as whole. so in this discussion a lot of friends shared a bit of the insides of their minds and it was fascinating - i tend to think with words and images, visuals appearing along with a strong internal monologue. but my friends shared about thinking in concepts, in feelings, with no imagery at all, by association and memory alone. when asked to describe how we think of a specific object we all described the thought process differently ("i think of where it is now" "i think of who it belongs to" "i think of what it would be like to touch it" "i think of what color and shape it is" "i think of what personality it would have" "i think of how i feel about it" etc etc). so what im saying is.. brains weird. brains different. dont punish yourself for your brain deciding that an experience has to be universal if its so helpful to it personally. as long as you realize that emotions and actions and needs and rational decisions are different, albeit connected, all's good. brains man.