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#i dont think this is an anxiety attack or a panic attack or anything like that
sethdomain · 1 year
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bruh i hate this why am i teamed up with the worse fucking classmate ever
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steampoweredskeleton · 6 months
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#delete later#the decision between microdosing bg3 spoilers in order to msybe reduce the amount i will be overwhelmed when playing it#anf not looking at anything bc the interest level is getting to the point of i may end up having a panic attack#i saw one of the voice actors is from near where i grew up and got super excited bc no one ever knows my hometown and that#has NOT helped so now i know im getting pulled in whether i want to or not. so noe its just trying to mediate its effects#try and make it so i dont get so overwhelmed that i start having panic attacks and meltdowns#i think im just gonna have to stay away from his character completely until ive properly chilled. no idea why but any like#thing where my hometown is mentioned just makes me super syper super happy and that is like the QUICKEST way for me#to get panic level overwhelmed#its a really odd one and i really dont understand why it happens but it does#microdosing may be the wwy to go otherwise ill build it up to the point that i won't be able to play it bc of the anxiety#autism is wild i rly wish i didnt have it. in good news i problem solved very well today. it did make me so exhausted and#overstimulated that i couldnt do anything else today but hey. i still managed. im so anxious about next week. itll be fine though#also since i haven't had a media special interest for a hot minute ive been able to become more aware of the bits of it that are#unhealthy in terms of my mental health abd im gonna have to do a lot of picking abd choosing what to interact with#which is going to make media special interests straight up less fun but also i know that that shit can fuck up ny brain#way more than like bugs or folk tales.#one of which is avoiding stuff about the real ppl behind it bc cementing stuff ij reslity with real ppl can make things worse#in my brain bc i tend to gave difficulty seperating ecerything anyway#i daydream constantly and i need that to stay with fictional things bc if it goes into reality things it starts to get way worse#this ended up being a weird rant about how my brain struggles to stay in reality but that's fine ignore me
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bonnie-bug · 2 years
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made the mistake of watching one of those fake emergency broadcast videos on youtube (specifically one based in quebec where a good chunk of the world was rapidly covered in 14+ meters of snow in the middle of summer) and even tho it wasn’t supernatural spooky scary it hasnt left my fuckin head and now i cant stop thinking “what if something like that happens. what if there’s a demon attack. what if there’s some kind of creature in ur hallway right now. what if a fuckin scp was real and your only warning was an emergency broadcast just like that”
I dont even believe this kind of shit is real WHY is my brain so fuckin paranoid about supernatural shit. lowkey it happens every night but it’s always worse when I watch something even slightly supernatural horror adjacent. why. I only even watched the stupid video BECAUSE it wasnt a creature/scp/supernatural horror based one and I thought I’d be fine :(
#I’ve always had anxiety around alert noises tho :/ my mom was paranoid abt storms and so had a weather alert radio when I was a kid#and since she was always afraid of bad storms that made ME scared and I dreaded every time I heard that radio go off#and it’s the automatic alert sound for so many emergency broadcasts it still gives me an anxiety spike to this day#so maybe that has something to do with it. but why also spooky horror creatures.#it’s never normal shit like ‘’what if a guy broke into our house’’ or anything no it’s always a fuckin demon or something#I should be clear here and say these paranoia. things never actually tip me into an anxiety or panic attack or anything dont worry#but. it IS annoying. and I’m so tired of it. and I’ve come up with coping mechanisms but idk how to make them Stop#bc just saying ‘’bro it’s not real’’ does nothing bc i KNOW its not. but they still keep happening#would these count as some kind of intrusive thought. bc it definitely causes me distress but it’s not like. the harmful idea kind#and idk what the nuance is and what actually counts as an intrusive thought and not just Brains Thinking Shit#And Sometimes That Shit Is Distressing#idk. I’m procrastinating getting my water from the living room bc a lot of my Bad Thoughts are centered around that hallway/living room area#maybe I’ll just turn on the light or something. I dont want to make my dad get my water for me#bc ‘’I watched a slightly spooky video this afternoon and now my brain is convinced demons will kill me’’ is a hard thing to explain#I mean he’d be nice about it and get my water I’m sure but I also dont want him to worry abt me kdbdbdkd#ok. I’ll turn on lights and go. and hopefully I can actually sleep tonight kdbdbdk#I’m not sticking this in my post tag bc I dont want to find it again and trigger another paranoia night lmao
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arthur-r · 8 months
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all my fucking teachers are pitying me though???? like oh my fucking god i thought i wasn’t going to be that person anymore?? are you telling me that mental illness and physical illness and access concerns and low energy and motivation don’t go away when you move four hours away from home????
#my fucking linguistics teacher. is such a good person but i feel so fucking awful and hopeless#he emailed my academic advisor!!!! what is that supposed to mean he thinks i can’t do it#i missed class on wednesday because i was having combination flare-up and panic attack (where i feel sick and it makes me anxious and the#anxiety makes me sick and it keeps going in this evil cycle and i can’t make it stop)#everyone is out here four weeks into the semester saying ‘‘this isn’t like you’’ maybe it is though????#‘if my very existence is so fragile that i can only hold onto it three months out of the year am i allowed to make it define me??#am i allowed to say i’m not myself right now or is this the most myself i’ve ever been?#if i only look like myself from the right angle in the right lighting with the right frame of mind / maybe myself is not my self after all’’#^ shitty poetry i wrote in fucking 2020. here i am again. it just keeps coming back!!!!#i feel sick. every second i spend trying not to be so desperate and alone just leads to more lonely desperation just later??#you can’t just fill emptiness with limited human connection and expect it to stay filled when they leave???? unthinkable#why is my teacher saying my fucking name???? why is my teacher saying my fucking name i’m not fucking broken#like i feel like they’re putting me on suicide watch when i didn’t fucking do anything. oh my god there’s room inspection today#i’m in my bed sobbing there’s going to be fucking room inspection today#that’s fine. that will be fine. i’m going to class soon anyway. i dont know. it’s just. like everyone is trying to make me feel seen#but i don’t WANT to be seen i want it not to MATTER i don’t want to be identified as struggling!!!!#because first and foremost this is an issue of failing my classes. and i want to look away and pretend that’s not true#and everyone is watching me struggle and sending kind heartfelt messages. saying i just seem sad and distant#but im NOT and i WASNT and they don’t understand that i’m just fucking like this!!!! i’m not failing because i’m depressed i wasnt depressed#until i started failing. they think that if i can push away the feelings there’s a functional human being underneath#‘​‘i found you on the floor like you wanted to / now i thought you wanted more is this all that you could be????’’#im so caught on how he was using my name. what the fuck is that about. it wasn’t in a normal way it was apposition. it was manufactured#‘​‘sorry you’ve been under the weather [comma] arthur [comma] but glad you’ll be in class. just let me know if i can help’’#i dont know. am i the only person who feels like it’s talking-to-depressed-people-101?? Remember To Make Them Feel Human. Give Them Identity#Say Their Name so they know anybody fucking cares. i know i sound fucking insane right now i’m sorry#my only real friend here is out of town this weekend. i just feel lonely and isolated with no way to break out of it#crazy idea you guys ​maybe i shouldn’t be in the fucking honors program if i’m like this already. four fucking weeks in#i dont know. i just feel really upset and strange and broken and everywhere at once. i hope everyone is okay#vent cw#friends only
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jadeneppy · 1 year
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,
#sometines it really hurts#when i wake up from a dream about my ex and me#theyre always different some are our real life selfs others are versions of us that are just feelings.#like todays i woke up and just felt like shit. we were goin on adventures ot smthin#it makes me think back on the dream i had when i had to leave them. my last day together with them. i dreamt we went our separate ways#and i hated that dream so much i literally woke up sobbing but they were still asleep and i hugs and kissed them more#i missed them so much when i slept and now all those versions never fucking lesve me i hste having dreams of them. i said i was done#but 7 years of loving someone doesn't just end even now i dont know whst i feel#being back in my old room brings up memories id rather forget. i hste crying i hste how much i cried to them#i hate how i almost ended my life over them. its so hard to think that someone so important to me just left and didn't tell me why#left me to suffer. i honestly think.. if they didn't tell me not to kill or hurt myself after our first break up i wouldn't be here#and thats such a hard truth. thst i literally would have ended myself sooner if they didn't make me promise not to do anything#everytime i wake up from a dream with them i still think back to when we started talking again saying we both had a dream of being together#and so every time i do dream of them i think. and honestly it kinda scares me. that they might try to reach out. for good or bad#it scares me it gives me so mych anxiety because i do still love them. not romanticly but i loved them so much before that i hold something#something that id call love i cherished them they were all id ever talk about and when we broke up i felt like a shell.#i questioned our whole relationship. anytime i saw someone who looked like them it gave me panic attacks i had really bad ptsd#i wanna throe up#i just finished crying#it reminds me of my terrible breakdown where i couldn't stop shaking and almost fell down the stairs#you were stalking my blog then. checking my tag and were seeing it live#seeing me have an active panic attack and i always wondered if you were saying `good i hope you suffer` because i never thought the same#i got angry about how it happened but never i hope you die never i hope you suffer. i miss when we were on good terms#but its been a week and gabe hasn't come back so i hope you guys please lesve me alone#im tired of feeling something for you whether it be sadness fondness or just anger i want you to move on from me#you guys have each other and im nit romantically involved with anyone tho i love my friends so much and i would do anything for them#anyways msybe in just so tried from work and emotionally exhausted thst i started spilli g out shit#nzzt
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straawberries · 4 months
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gonna make another post since that usually helps with reach
teehee poll for reach. please read the rest of this if you can
HI IM DELILAH AND IVE GOT LESS THAN 4 MONTHS BEFORE IM HOMELESS WITH NO OPTIONS FOR PLACES TO LIVE
heeyyy its me delilah. im an autistic plural trans girl with ptsd, and im living in an abusive household with my adoptive "father" that absolutely hates me. in less than 4 months, i am going to be kicked out, and i am trying to raise the money i need to survive this event.
ive been trying, pretty much every chance i get, to get a job, but i think because of this shitty small town in texas, everyone already knows who i am and nobody wants to hire me. this means i have to rely on stuff like this.
by JUNE 1ST 2024, i need to make enough money to move out, or else... well, i dont really know what will happen to me (other than vague "homelessness"), but im really scared that it wont end well.
on top of that im rarely being fed enough which is seriously fucking with my mood and making me feel like shit, so im having to balance saving and eating which.. with the money im currently getting, is not very sustainable. other than a few people giving a lot (who i am eternally thankful for and if youre able to do this i would basically do anything for you) im basically getting zero donations.
i get that this kind of stuff is annoying and maybe a bit slow, but just taking a few seconds, maybe a minute or two at most, to give me a small amount of money, would be a hell of a lot more helpful than doing nothing.
C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga
P*YP*L - @delilahkill
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plenty of people use stuff like this to scam, so heres some info about me if you doubt that this is true. (copy pasted from previous post)
i have a really big love for performing, i fell in love with theatre years ago and performed the addams family musical as fester about a month ago as my biggest role on stage yet, and right now im in the process of getting ready for antigone as teiresius. i love music, and its one of my life goals to learn as many instruments as possible, and currently i own quite a few, though my favorites are my two ukuleles and my super cool electric guitar. i have 8 partners at the moment, and i have a very big desire to one day live with as many of them as i can. i pride myself on being the best partner i can be, and its been my goal to make all my partner's lives better (and i think ive been doing a good job at it :3)
i love cats an extreme amount, ive never had a cat myself (because my dad is insane and hates cats and tries to hit cats with his truck) but being around cats makes me super happy and always makes my anxieties go away, even when im having an anxiety attack or a panic attack. i really hope i can get a few cats one day, and i want to give them all silly food names :) my fursona is kind of a reflection of that, her name is bagel. some cat names ive thought of are mochi, chili, Supreme Pizza, or maybe french fry :)
im not sure if ill be able to achieve any of my goals if i dont get the financial support i need. ive been.. really close to giving up recently, but i dont want to have to do that, so im going to fight like this for as long as i can.
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mejomonster · 2 years
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I need a really pretty shiny nice to touch pendant on a necklace I can play with in my fingers when I'm tense as all hell
By need I mean now. Right now. Because I already feel the stress of work tomorrow and the fact i do Not have a very smooth fun to touch calming pendant on Right Now and will Not have one on tomorrow terrifies me. I just wanna get thru tomorrow without breaking down I'm begging
#rant#i woukd say id take anti anxiety meds if only it would fucking help#but im already on amitryptline for gi pain#and im still feeling so tense i could rip my skin off in chunks#so im uh. im not gonna get any calmer#i am gonna eat as much as i can early in the day to keep blood sugar drop from Worsening my stress#but i already feel like i could bash my skull in so this is NOT NOT NOT a good state to start off in#moments like these i miss the disassociation i had in engineering#i just. didnt feel anything for 6 months. it sucked. but doing stressful stuff felt numb so.#but then i developed horrific crying choking panic attacks 5-20 times a#day. as i assumr. my body needed to feel things so it did that since i was too numb to feel outside of a panic attack#andcwell. that fucked up shit changed my life. panic attacks suck.#they suck extra in that im extremely suicidal during tjem. whereas all other times i very much wanna live a long happy life#and i uh. really really dont wanna panic and try to die tomorrow. i wanna be safe and alive and uninjured and make it thru tomorrow safely#i already feel it boiling tho#do u think maybe idk. a Gallon of chamomile tea could keep my stress down???#i need somrthing to dull my stress level so i dont panic my dudes. i dont wanna have a sucky time tomorrow#i already made a note to tell my boss he needs to help me fix things tomorrow#i may need to tell him i need a mental day off. but like. fucking motherfucker i have 11 reports due friday#and a company fucked all our shit up and i HAVE to fix it or whole companys finances are fucked. i feel#incredible urges to go unconcious#maybe i need to insist to boss i cant handle doing this again jesus let me not harm myself or die tomorrow
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reallyromealone · 2 months
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Title: oh hey a mate(s)
Chapter: one
Fandom: obey me
Pairing: demon brother's x male reader
Warnings: suggestive themes, readers got truama, internalized gender hatred, anxiety, panic attacks, mentions of being a breeding tool, self hate, reader doesn't really understand sex, sexual themes, omegaverse, male reader, mentions of mpreg
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
"HE STOLE THEM FROM ME!" (sisters name) Screeched out in a rage as she threw things around "they were supposed to be MY mates! And he stole them! That whore stole them!" She was hyperventilating at this point as her body shook, feeling robbed of her alphas.
Of her life, the thing she wanted more than anything.
"I know sweety but maybe we can set you up wit--"" I don't want someone else! I want the princes!"
And she was going to get them.
She swore it.
'fuck you (name)'
Holy shit this place was big.
God he felt under dressed, especially beside these alphas who were dressed so fancy and perfect.
The floors were marble and two grand staircases winded on each side and paintings that had to be centuries old hung on the walls "we will have one commissioned for you soon enough... Maybe one with us all" Belphegor yawned as he wandered the halls "for now, let's get you settled in" he said and looked to a nervous looking Leviathan who nodded.
(Name) Was nervous as he walked beside the demon who seemed to want to be anywhere but here "I-im sorry if I wasn't who you were expecting... I'll try and not step on your toes" (name) whispered, anxiously fiddling with his fingers and looked down "i-i dont-- fuck... I'm really nervous and anxious and just I don't really talk to omegas often so I'm just--" the demon seemed panicked and (name) felt relief flood through his veins as he pumped out calming pharamones for the Alpha "hey... I get it, if it's any consolation... I'm not great with people either-- hell I think this is the first time I ever left my families property!" He laughed a bit but Leviathan was shocked at his words "you never been into the capital or even your home town?" He asked genuinely and (name) shook his head "nah, my parents didn't trust me going out there-- you know how troublesome an Omega can be"
What the fuck? That's all Leviathan could think as he looked at the Omega worried "I- you're not troublesome?" He whispered and (name) just smiled "I try not to be" (name) giggled a bit as they continued to (name)s apartment, the Omega expecting a quaint bedroom but...
"I think we went to the wrong room.... This is awfully big" (name) said softly to the envy demon who looked confused "you like your apartment?" Asmodeus popped out from nowhere and pulled (name) close with a flirty grin "we had the butlers being your things in, don't worry we didn't let them unpack... Pharamones and all that ~" he pulled (name) into the apartment and (name) felt overwhelmed by all this "there's a nesting room there~ if you need help don't hesitate to ask"
"A-are you sure?"
"Sure of what?"
"That this is for me?"
"You are to be our mate, I personally wanted you with me but Luci wanted you to have your own space... Something about acclimating" his words teasing and (name) chuckled but cut short when his stomach growled and the two demons looked curious "oh yeah! Humans need to eat for survival!"
(Name) Felt embarrassed as he silently cursed his stomach for exposing him like this as the demons looked at one another in a silent conversation.
They were definitely having a sibling meeting later.
(Name) Dissociated during the rest of the evening, eventually ending back in the rooms he was given, the size of his old house if not a bit bigger...
Everything was pristine as he took out his belongings, his prized possessions and small hobbies to occupy him.
A few heirlooms and books and his childhood stuffed toy 'this will go in my nest' he thought as he looked at the nesting room doors, two ornate doors in a rose gold shade, the apartment all light colors unlike the rest of the palace.
It was a strange contrast, almost like they didn't know what to expect so they just made what they thought humans liked. It was funny really, demons trying to understand what humans wanted or needed as he was doing the same, wondering what these demons wanted or liked.
Getting up he went to the nesting room and was overwhelmed by the nesting supplies he was given, piles and piles of blankets and pillows and soft things, his purring could probably be heard from outside the apartment as he snuggled into them, a sense of safety he wasn't quite used to washing over him.
He was excited to make a large nest, spending half the night making it perfect for him to rest in and just not think about the fact he was to be mated on his next heat to seven strangers that were also fucking royalty! Well there goes not thinking about it because here he was!
Also his sister! Holy shit she was mad! And like at his wedding she will be there! Fuuck!
(Name) Was just sitting there head in hands as he processed the fact that within 24 hours he was now engaged and now in the public eye!
(Name) Curled up closer into his blankets and let out a shutter of a sigh, he wondered if he would be able to do the things he enjoyed before... Would he be allowed to garden? Would he have to dress more Omegan? Or would he be able to wear clothes that were comfortable?!
He needed to walk, movement to process this.
Getting up he walked out of his apartment and into the hall, dark and grand, ceilings at least 15 feet tall and paintings lined, some he recognized as the siblings and some unfamiliar as he walked around curiously.
Somehow he made it to the kitchen "I hope they don't mind..." (Name) Whispered as he sliced an apple, careful and gentle as his stomach growled a bit.
"Can I have some?" A voice startled him out of his thoughts causing him to slice his finger "shit!" The voice said and (name) looked to see Beelzebub who in turn looked a bit startled as he took (name)s bleeding finger and put it in his mouth, the Omega looking thoroughly concerned as Beelzebub sucked on the blood "I feel like this is incredibly unsanitary" (name) whispered worried and beez released his finger "demons saliva can heal amongst other things, depends on the demon really"
"Oh " (name) said dumbly as he looked at his wet but healed finger "what else does your saliva do?" He asked curiously and Beelzebub smiled at the others cute and curious expression "ah, well besides healing my saliva can work as an aphrodisiac if ingested!" (Name) Looked concerned and Beelzebub laughed "don't worry, it only works if I were to like make out with you or eat your ass!"
And now (name) was flustered as the gluttony demon kept laughing at his embarrassment "so why are you up so late?" Beelzebub asked after calming down and sealing some apple slices and cutting up some more, handing (name) an orange "just... It's stupid"
"Oh please!" Beelzebub pushed and (name) sighed "I'm just... I'm having trouble processing this stuff, it's stressful and like-- I never left my property let alone this! My sister wanted to be with you guys and she's already insufferable, this is just worse! I'm just paranoid that you guys are going to realize that like this was a mistake and reject me and like the fear of being an Omega in general! Will I be able to do the things i enjoyed before? Will I be a breeding tool?!" He was hyperventilating now as Beelzebub panicked "hey hey, calm down! It will be alright and-- no we aren't making you a breeding Omega.... shhh" beez tried to calm him as footsteps quickly made their way to the kitchen.
"What is happening?" Lucifer and the others seemed startled as the smell of distress was heavy in the kitchen "he's worried we will strip him of his rights and make him carry our young" Beelzebub explained as he lifted (name) into his arms and set him on the counter "were demons but we aren't monsters" Satan said disgusted and Asmodeus smiled "we would never do that unless it's what you're into~" he teased the Omega as they crowded him "I know it's an incredibly hard adjustment but know we mean well, it's literally impossible for us to not fall for each other" it's true soulmates would eventually fall for one another due to the bond "and we are sharing one mate so that means you have seven people to love you" mammon said in a rare moment of genuine care "what do you mean?"
"Oh yeah, he knows basically nothing about secondary gender or soulmates" Levi said softly and the demons looked horrified "well I know what we are doing tomorrow" Satan said simply and (name) looked ashamed and couldn't meet their eyes, feeling stupid for his lack of knowledge.
"Well his town is backwards" Belphegor yawned and wandered off back to bed now that the problem was solved "goodnight...."
(Name) Was led back to his room by Beelzebub and Asmodeus and looked confused when they put sweaters in his arms "the smell of your alphas will calm you~" Asmodeus said simply and the two wished him a good night.
And for once?
He sleped peacefully.
(Name) Spent the next few days learning about soulmates and secondary genders, the two interlocking "when your heat comes, it will be dangerous for you to not mate with your soulmate" (name) read the book in his off time, the book explaining how the bonding is key to not cause rejection symptoms or a drop, he definitely didn't want that. Fuck how does he have sex? Fuck.
Time to go figure that out, he really felt behind on this shit.
(Name) Made home in the library as he looked for any books that would aid him "Hmm? Looking for sex books ~ didn't know our omega was like that" Asmodeus seemed to love just appearing out of thin air and scaring (name) who dropped the book "i-i it's not like that!"
"Hmmm? And what is it about? Oh you're so cute when your flustered!" He cooed and (name) huffed "I am trying to figure out like, how sex works and stuff... I wasn't exactly taught... Just put on suppressants so my family could avoid it" he just constantly felt ashamed with them, their faces of realization and pity as (name) tried not to cry "well, if you like I could teach you~ don't worry I won't touch you where you don't like" Asmodeus could get used to his omega so flustered as he got closer, his alpha giddy at his mate being untouched "the first thing one should know is their body after all~"
"I- uh... I'm not sure..."
Asmodeus let his lips barely touch (name)s as he caged him against a bookshelf and smiled, his tail flickering and (name) seemed a bit startled by it All as the demon gently kissed him "that was... Uh.." "your first kiss?"
"Yeah..."
"Did you like it?"
(Name) Could only nod as the lust avatar giggled sweetly at his adorable Omega "oh, you're going to fit in nicely here~!" He doted on (name) a bit "don't worry darling, we won't do anything your not ready for but if you're willing... To experiment a bit, I'm always a summon away" and with that he was gone, (name) left with nothing more than the smell of his pharamones, sweet Jasmine and warm vanilla.
It wasn't till after lunch that Lucifer brought him to the gardens, a small greenhouse and a garden plot stood "we had it cleaned up, you said you liked gardening" he said simply and looked down at (name) who looked like he was given the potion of youth "really? Thank you so much..." (Name) Was releasing the happiest pharamones and Lucifer kept composure but god damn did that boost his ego as an alpha, making his mate happy.
"Just clean yourself off after you finish" Lucifer said calmly and (name) beamed at this "of course!"
(Name) Puttered in the greenhouse and began planting things, thankfully it was early in the season so he had time to make a nursery for plants "oh, sor--" (name) immediately shut up as he saw Belphegor sleeping in a sun beam, cozy and calm. Looking around (name) found his cape that Satan had made for him and covered the demon with it "it's still chilly" he whispered and went back to work, unaware the demon was awake and watching intently at the Omega who was carrying heavy pots and sacks of soil around.
(Name) Kept quiet for the Alpha, he must be so exhausted to fall asleep in a greenhouse of places so it would be best to let him rest! Eventually (name) moved outside, it was less chilly but a slight chill but movement will keep him warm! Using twine he found in the greenhouse he sectioned spots of the garden plots for various things like carrots and garlic amongst others, they were still in the nursery but it's good to get things ready now, he reasoned with himself.
"Your Highness! It's quite cold!" A servant panicked as she saw (name) in nothing more than a shirt and pants and apron, dirt on his cheek "don't worry! I'm alright!" He reasoned but she was not having it and removed her cape "it's not good for an Omega to be cold like this!"
Before she could drape the cape on (name), he felt fur on his shoulders as Mammon smiled with a warning "don't worry, he's warm" his eyes telling the servant to leave and (name) looked confused "oh hello!" (Name) Smiled at the demon who felt annoyed at how sweet the other was, his bond making his heart beat fast "Luci wanted me to take you into town so get ready" he grumbled and (name) nodded, a simple smile on his face as he wandered to the palace "where's your cape anyways?! It's freezing for mortals!" He chastised and (name) chirped "Belphegor was sleeping and I wanted him to be cozy!" (Name) Couldn't explain why he felt so calm and comfortable with the princes but they made him feel safe, even if they were sometimes like angry chihuahuas.
"You're weird" mammon said with no bite as they walked to (name)s area.
The tailors and seamstresses worked tirelessly to put together some clothes for (name) and his new class, the maids commenting about how the seamstress always kept embroidered sleeves on hand as the brothers always tore clothes during training--- well save for Asmodeus and Belphegor who couldn't be fucked to do stuff like that.
(Name) Felt regal, a beautiful vest made of silk and embroidered with birds and roses and a linen powers shirt and nice pants and expensive boots "you look wonderful your Highness!" A maid commented, (name) growing fond of his personal maids who cheered him in, them all being mated and married betas.
(Name) Was curious as he looked around the city, never really interacting with so many people who looked at he two in awe, the guards keeping a fair distance as he looked at stalls "you seriously never been in a city?" Mammon said incredulously and (name) looked confused "no? It's not right for an Omega to be by himself around alphas, I would be a temptation" reiterating his parents words and Mammon was horrified at the omegas genuine belief that HE was the problem and not alphas who couldn't keep their hands to themselves "well we are unpacking that later"
He didn't even want to get into the family thing, remembering the chat he had with his brothers when (name) had his meltdown and the acceptance that their Omega came from a very problematic living situation but he seemed to be acclimating well.
Or at least he hoped.
Mammon was confused as (name) handed him a stuffed bunny "what is this?" He raised an eyebrow from behind his circular sunglasses "well we didn't get to actually court because of being soulmates so I got you all courting gifts" he chirped out innocently, remembering what he was taught by Lucifer and deciding to put it in action though he seemed to have gotten it backwards as it was supposed to be the Alpha who gave the courting gifts.
"I- uh... Thank you?"
(Name) Seemed pleased as they continued their walk through the cities market, a giant hub of the equally giant city as Mammon stared at the bunny that was made of fabric the same color as his eyes, a small detail that made him flustered.
He noticed (name) budgeting, a soft smile on his face "you know we have basically endless money, right?" Well mammon didn't, he was cut off and put on a strict budget but (name)? He still had his money privileges "that's your money, this is so much!" To (name) it was a lot of money as he did the budgeting of the house back with his family, this was ten times of what they made in a year! "I am fine with this"
Hell, how did they get the exact opposite of them?!
A nervous Omega who was innocent and naive and sweet as honey!
"Oh you are absolutely precious!" Asmodeus cooed at the stuffed rabbit that fit in his hands "I hadn't even thought of courting!" He said with exaggerated sadness and (name) watched the others alphas reactions, though it wasn't the fanciest courting gift, it was a genuinely thoughtful one.
"He was worried about spending the money, he literally budgeted it" mammon groaned and Lucifer snorted "you could do well to learn that" he said as (name) seemed reminded and handed him back the coin bag, the Omega barely dented it "I got a few things for my hobbies but I brought back the change!" He said sweety and Lucifer had cute aggression at that moment as (name) looked at him with so much pride "you know you could have spent all of this right?" He said a little slow, (name) nodding "but that would be rude, I'm spending all your money without care... I don't like that"
Seriously, how did they manage to be fated with the sweetest Omega?!
"He didn't even but himself actual things for himself! He bought things to make us things!" Mammon groaned out but they all knew he equally swooned at the fact their Omega was so sweet.
But also he didn't buy himself anything, Asmodeus has had to bring him to eat and Beelzebub would put food on it.
"Rural Omega culture is different than cities, they're treated more as a commodity" a maid explained to Asmodeus one night as she helped him get ready for bed, she herself being an alpha from the boonies "an inconvenience would be a better word though, everything your saying shows he was treated like how my love got treated, need to make them feel genuinely valued" she went to explain how omegas need regular scenting and assurance to keep mentally regulated and (name) probably never had that.
Which would explain why he seemed like he was constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop despite growing used to them.
Like it was all going to go away.
His dreams were often that, every night he dreamt of waking up in his old room as his sister lived the life she wanted and he was stuck in that musty bedroom where he would rot.
"Your dreams are noisy" Belphegor mumbled as he crawled into bed with (name) and held him close, pumping out pharamones as he thought smugly about the fact he's technically been in bed with (name) before the others. (Name) Snuggled in his chest and physically relaxed, chirping in his sleep as he clung helplessly to him and he was hooked.
He wanted this more and was already annoyed he would have to share with his brothers.
(Name) Let his mates to be plan the wedding though he and Beelzebub thought of food together, the demon horrified at how little foods he got to experience and made him try everything for the wedding and smiled at his happy face with good food "these are mirangue cookies! Like eating plaster that loves you!" He exolained and (name) basically melted at now delicious it was.
Beelzebub was more than happy to share food with him, his alpha wanting the Omega to be well fed to carry his pups after all.
They were all anxious for mating, their bond slowly making them VERY intense about (name) who after weeks, finally sat close to Satan as he read with him though (name) did struggle a bit "omegas being taught to read is laughable, I taught myself as much as I could" he explained and that's when Satan decided he would read for (name), the two spending an hour or two in the library reading together like how Lucifer spent his time teaching (name) new things when he wasn't busy or just dragging him along with things.
(Name) Was always well behaved, he thought of (name)s family and how they were... How did this come out of THAT.
But now, (name) had one worry...
Would he invite his family to his wedding?
1K notes · View notes
muntitled · 6 months
Text
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐄𝐏. 𝐈 : 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐚𝐧
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❝ 𝘾𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙚, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙖 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣? ❞
Pairings: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Being begrudgingly seduced by the anarchist
Warnings: Language, Enemies to Lovers, Cop!Reader, Revolutionary!Seonghwa, Implied Violence, Crazy Form!Au, Seduction, Smut (+18, minors dni) Corruption Kink, Innocence Kink, Masochism, Humping, Fingering, pet names, Rough Sex, Massive Degradation Kink, Dom!Seonghwa, Sub!Reader, Squirting, Humiliation, Unprotected Sex, Hate Sex
A/n: I might turn this into a series featuring all the Pirates with their own smutty little parts because I cannot help re-watching the Crazy Form mv. It's too good
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The very sight of the undulating mosh pit has your stomach rolling with nausea as you enter the dimly lit warehouse. The corrugated walls are illuminated only by various splotches of neon paint, and you suddenly feel the uncanny need to pray as you enter the crowd.
You begin to grow fearful, not onky because this crowd might birth a fresh panic attack, but because you fear for your focus as well.
That you may not be swayed from your mission.
The Intel that led you and your police partner here had been incredibly difficult to come by because every one of their little followers were so terribly loyal.
So naturally, upon receiving a tip off about a show being hosted on the seedier outskirts of town, you had no choice but to attend.
In this unpredictable field of law enforcement, of one thing you are completely certain: There will always be a clear distinction between the good and the bad and they are as bad as they come.
They are common criminals, and there is nothing else to it.
In fact, referring to them as anything but, feels like a gross display of exaltation. Exaltation, which is, evidently, what they are used to.
Disgust is smeared across your face as you and your police partner sieve your way through drunken bodies swaying to the sound of Seonghwa's voice. Although you're shoving roughly past people, all in an attempt to get to the front of the stage, you can not help but marvel at the crowd, undulating to the beat of a bandit.
His face, along with the faces of 7 of his fellow delinquents were smeared across every wanted poster in the city, and yet here he is, raging into a microphone while the crowd cheers his name.
“If I hear ‘Seonghwa’ one more time I fear I might shoot myself in the foot,” you call out, to your partner not far behind, “Keep a tight grip on your weapons, please,” you say, craning your neck back as you palm cradles your back pocket with the Glock 14 nestled inside, “We don't know what any of these idiots are on and I dont think we want to find out.”
Your civilian attire is successful in keeping the attention off of you and your partner as you break out of the heat and anxiety of the moshpit, right in front of center stage.
Seonghwa is right above you, cradling a microphone as if it were the Holy grail while his accomplice, a very inebriated San, bounds across the stage, stirring up the crowd like Seonghwa's personal hypeman.
You could almost feel your vexation increasing to ungodly heights.
Everything about this egregious display of egomania makes your blood boil raging hot, and although these are only 2, you find your hands clenching in anticipation of being one step closer to putting all 8 behind bars.
Your hatred seems to be oozing out of your pores because soon, you catch his attention. Perched on a stage elevated amongst the masses, he is looking at you now. You. Instead of any of the other drunken groupies in the crowd begging to get even a sliver of attention.
With both hands cuffed around the mic, he peers down at you and winks before belting out the final words of the song.
How badly you itched to bind his wrists with your silver cuffs.
How badly you wished to get him and his insolent underlings off the streets.
"They do know how to capture an audience… we can at least give them that," Your head snaps sideways as the words of your partner rouses what little patience you're already working with.
You tap lightly at his badge. The sound of your nail hitting the metal is drowned out by the raucaus applaud but your police partner watches you intently as you cooly say, “Don't forget why we're here, Sergeant,” your voice holds caution as the noise of the crowd trickles down.
The set ends, and the man on stage drenched in flamboyant white linen bids the crowd a ‘Very good night’. He strolls off stage, not without giving you one last, knowing glance.
‘If you catch me, it's because I let you catch me,’ is what those eyes seem to be saying.
So much for blending into an unsuspecting crowd.
“These are not your friends. They're common criminals.” Your voice is louder now, with the absence of that Seonghwa's cacophony. “Stay here, make sure none of these degenerates kill themselves.” You're hellbent om following Seonghwa off the stage, but your partner's light snickers have you pausing slightly. You raise your eyebrows in questioning.
“You speak about them like they're not just fans," Your partner shakes his graying head, "Like they're complicit,”
“They are." You almost immediately reply with a narrowed gaze. "As far as I'm concerned, their fans are just as bad as them.”
With those parting words you make your way towards the part of the warehouse sectioned off from the rest of the crowd, where Seonghwa and his accomplice disappeared off to in the wake of their applause.
You reach what appears to be a backroom hidden behind the makeshift stage. It is far quieter than the rest of the warehouse pulsating with cacophony. You do not miss the slight apprehension that swallows you whole when your feet stop you from venturing over the threshold.
“It doesn't look like you have a backstage pass,” San sits beside Seonghwa on a couch positioned in the focal point of the small room. You recognize hid face as another one of the men whose visage was stamped in a very large police docket on your desk.
“Apologies,” you murmer to San, “I only have one of these,” you raise your police ID to the side of your face and San rises from his seat in mild curiosity. He sinks closer to you while Seonghwa, the man who held most of your attention, sits reclined, with his legs spread on the wide sectional.
He sits lazily, almost kingly under a giant white sheet. A flag plastered to the wall, with a giant, obnoxious, A carelessly spray painted in black.
“I thought we said no fans allowed backstage." San says in a sing-song voice, blatantly ignoring your badge with his giant shoulders now bending down to your height. The circumference of his hat casts a wide shadow over you, all in a clear display of intimidation. "That counts for pigs, too.”
His steely gaze never wavers from your face, and you fight valiantly to keep your emotions tamed under a calm, nonchalant reserve. "If you're a cop, where's your uniform?" San does an obnoxious display of racking his eyes over your body.
"Your dad's place," you whisper cooly, "I couldn't put it on in time."
Your words have an unmistakable smile cracking on the sides of San's face. "I enjoyed that very much."
"I thought a degenerate like you might." Despite your words, San is still smiling. In fact, you fear yourself at risk of slipping right into that enchanting gaze of his were it not for the interception of the third voice in the room.
“How interesting,” Seonghwa's voice cuts through the tension blistering between you and San like a white, hot knife.
“Leave us.” San's head snaps backward towards his accomplice, and all Seonghwa does is smile as they communicate, quite literally without words right in front of you. Seonghwa evidently 'says' what is needed in order to get San slyly leaving room. Not before tipping his hat in parting.
With your attention now focused solely on the man ok the couch, drenched in the white linen, whose arms are outstretched and resting on the headrest, you suddenly find yourself completely and unfortunately unsure.
You had met plenty of prisoners. Dined with manner delinquents and questioned many criminals, it is only in his presence when you feel your usually tough reserve quaking at the smallest fraction. In the face of what is apparently true rebellion.
“Why don't you have a seat,” he snickers when he finds you already stepping over the threshold, making yourself all too comfortable in an evil space. Nothing good existed beyond this point.
“I hope you enjoyed the show,” There is a depth to his voice that is regrettably tickling down the edge of your spine, dousing every bit of pateince you had.
“You call it a show… I call it inciting a riot,” you shrug, finally choosing to sit beside him on the wide sectional. Far too close beside him and his outstretched arms.
Despite the warning bells, you refuse to exhibit any fear.
“Is that why you're here?” His voice remains steady as he focuses it on tracing the tips of his fingers against your shoulder. He wants to see how quickly his touch could elicit a valley of goosebumps.
He is all too pleased to find you shivering in protest.
“You're here to arrest me?” In all honesty, Seonghwa enjoyed watching you try to push him away for the sake of your precious morals. Call it masochism, but there is something enticing about a woman who so very clearly abhors everything he stands for. Seonghwa cannot help but find it almost irresistible. His captain always remarked on Seonghwa's enjoyment for not only fixing broken things but also obsessing over them.
You did not know that the frown plastered across your face only accelerated his racing heart more. Desire plunged through his arteries as he immediately recognized you as a challenge.
Something to perhaps break.
It would be so incredibly satisfying, especially because you represented everything he despised in this wretched world.
Order.
“Actually, no.” You say, staving off another shivsr as you evade Seonghwa’s steadily heavy growing eyelids. “We received a call that someone was disturbing the peace.”
“In an abandoned warehouse?” He asks, voice airy and tone almost dismissive because he is much closer to you now, leaning towards you, as if enchanted by your very scent. You watch him with apprehension as you begin to feel the very first signs of what you regrettably realize to be attraction.
However, you can not move off the couch now because you can not control any of your motor functions in your concrete bones. Every one of your morals howl for you to get away from this man. To cuff him, send him down to the precinct and convict him for... something…
but that 'something' does not come quick enough, and he's leaning closer to you, with both arms still resting on the couch behind you. Before you can blow up your entire career, and close the distance, you wrangle some bit of sense to turn your head sideways, evading his half lidded eyes and slightly parted lips.
Your blatant rejection rouses him slightly, and he readjusts himself in his seat. Seonghwa brings his legs together to better manage the heat rushing to his cock in the wake of your rejection and apparent attraction (and immense frustration) as he shifts even closer beside you.
“You will find no disturbance here,” he says, “Only music.”
His words release the floodgates of your vexation, and your head snaps as you fire off. “Music that you weaponize to spew your delinquency.”
“Ah. Ah.” Seonghwa dips his head down to your ear as he whispers, “Delinquency, or rebellion?”
You're laughing humorlessly into the air, effectively causing Seonghwa’s smile to widen and his cock to stiffen completely in the confies of his pitch black dress pants. You are oblivious to his eyes, watching you as if you hung the very moon.
“You and your… freaks preach your vitriol and call it ‘rebellion’ when all you're actually doing is polluting our city with riots and crime.”
“You don't wish to be liberated from an oppressive world order?” He adjusts himself again, getting far too excited with the way this conversation is flowing. Your wide eyes and high vibrato do little to calm his restlessness.
“What oppression!?”
His voice is quick and monotonous, “Capitalism. Classism. Racism.” His fingers clench and unclench before swiping against the back of your neck, “Why do you willingly submit to a system that is simply un-winnable? We want you to free yourselves from the hierarchy. Fucking wreck the system-”
“You're fucking Pirates,” you spit the word out, unwokowungly snapping the very last of your reserve before Seonghwa is pulling you into a heady, heavy kiss by the nape of your neck.
"Fuck yes," He whispers before pulling you in as if you weighed absolutely nothing and you let him. You let his lips move languidly against yours as your hands fall against his chains and the white linen frills spilling from his collar. His hand is still positioned on the nape of your neck and he squeezes, forcing you to kiss him back. He groans into your mouth when you begin to work with him instead of against him. You mouth falling open as his tongue collides with yours.
Vaguely, in the background, outside these four walls, you can hear the crowd beginning to cheer once again as raucous music spills from unseen speakers. You can hear San beginning to sing into a mic, and your hand on Seonghwa's shirt curls imperceptibly.
“You're so beautiful…” You hate how easily his words affect you. You hate what a slave to desire you seem to be as he leans back to immediately push his hands in between your legs.
“Tell me to stop,” he challenges, keeping his feline eyes trained on you as he unclips the buttons of your jeans with one hand. “Tell me you don't want this disgusting delinquent to make you cum over and over again.”
Your lips are pursed painfully, and you throw your head back with your eyes clenched shut as you lift your hips. All the better for him to wriggle your jeans down to your ankles.
As he brings your legs up to his lap to pull off your jeans completely, Seonghwa's movements become all the more reckless and all the more urgent.
“All the same,” he murmurs before kneeling on the floor in front of you, “You conformists are all the fucking same.” Your eyes flutter open, along with your mouth, and the very moment your gaze locks onto the spray painted flag, hanging above you, Seongwha pushes aside your underwear, immediately spearing your dripping cunt with his long fingers. You release a broken moan into the air and his smile has blossomed into a full-on lopsided, evil grin as he brings your knees up to frame his face.
“2 seconds,” he taunts, in between your chorus of broken moans going head-to-head with the sound of San’s sensational belting, “it took me 2 seconds to have you humping my hand like a pretty fucking slut-”
Despite the pleasure coursing through your body, you still manage to keep your teeth clenched as you murmur, “You're the one… fuck… you're the one kneeling in front of me like my personal whore-”
Seonghwa's eyebrows raise, and his eyes glint in excitement at your taunting. He prided himself on being someone who could take as much as he gave out, and you're doing a terrific job at holding his attention when so many other people fell short.
You were interesting, of that, Seonghwa was sure.
“You make me want you so bad, Dove,” he admits before swiping his other hand over his stiffening bulge to the rhythm of his hand pushing in and out of your cunt.
“You drive me fucking crazy-”
“You're already crazy- fuck, just like that! Please don't stop-” your clenching around his fingers, eyes locked on his wide, excited eyes and his close lipped smile as brings his other hand to swipe over your clit.
The very second his calluses make contact with your swollen, puffy clit, you're cumming around his fingers. San’s vocal rages and your screams pour out as you fight to keep your eyes open. Seonghwa's fingers are still pushing into you relentlessly, and your heart sinks when you realise the seat underneath you is drenched with your arousal.
Seonghwa's mind is flooded with the image of you squirting so shamelessly around his fingers. Seeing you give yourself over to him so seamlessly made him feel absolutely restless with arousal, and he's pushing you down onto the couch before you're able to fill the air with idle protests.
His clothes suddenly feel too constricting and he curses the black corset as he wrestles with the buttons of his collar. He does not care that the buttons are flying onto the floor because he is clambouring onto the couch and hovering over you as he slots his hips in between your open legs.
“I need you to make a mess for me,” he whispers, before pulling his collar open, showcasing a patch of his tanned chest to your wide eyes. You unbuttoned your own shirt at the very same time that Seonghwa pulls down the zip of his pants, and he nearly whines at the sight of your breasts spilling out of your top. You are using him just as much as he is using you.
“Just like that, baby,” He nods, forcing his cock deep inside you as you begin to tweak your own nipples to stave off the discomfort of being stretched open so completely.
“F-Fuck- Seonghwa…” He is still nodding as he bends down towards you. Strands of his black hair tickle your face as he positions his hands on the side of your head and ruts into you with urgency. “I don't think I can take it-”
“You're already taking it so well, Baby.” He coos, as he forces his cock deeper and deeper into your clenching walls.
“You're taking everything I have to give and you're doing it flawlessly,” his praises are like that fashioned from a poet and the sheer artistry behind mere words have your head flying backwards as you release a torrid moan into the air.
“Where are you going?” He asks with a breathless laugh as he brings your head back by the grip of your throat. He is driving his cock inside you, his own frills spilling over your skin as he chokes you relentlessly.
Seonghwa is the very sight of violent beauty: hair mussed with his collar completely undone. His corset is still fashioned around his waist but it succeeds in tightening his abdomen, bringing him closer to the edge as the torrid sounds of your fucking fills the air.
"Fuck I'm close,” He grunts with his eyes nearly rolling to the back of his skull. "Tell me you hate me-" he whispers.
"I hate you," you moan out. "I hate you so fucking much-" It fell from your lips so easily because it is the God honest truth. Despite the spell he currently has you under, in the eyes of your aspirations, and everything you've ever worked hard for, you hated him and people like him. People who threatened to dismantle the progress lawmakers have strived to protect. And so, with your orgasm crwsting and your toes clenching, you whisper those words over and over to him. And every time to tell him you hate him, he chokes you harder and fucks you deeper.
"F-Fuck- 'Hwa I'm-" he nods, eyes now incredibly pained as he drives his cock into you with no chance of stopping.
"Cum for me," His whisper has you reading a broken moan into the air and Seonghwa watches as you descend into the depths of your euphoria.
"Gorgeous-" He exclaims through clenched teeth as his own hips begin to stutter, "You're so fucking gorgeous-" He whimpers before spilling inside you.
You're both moaning into the air, at the very same time that Choi San appears at the threshold.
"You work fast," San says languidly. He shifts his gaze from your horror-stricken gaze to Seonghwa who stares at his accomplice with a smirk on his face.
"I work smarter," Seonghwa says, "not harder." You're very much aware that he is still very much inside of you in front of a complete stranger but that panic dissipates when you realize Seonghwa, himself, is nothing but a stranger...
"The police is not gonna be a problem for us anymore, right?" He asks sweetly before dipping his head down in between the crook of your neck. You are starkly aware that your silence is answer enough...
965 notes · View notes
hysteria-things · 4 months
Note
hi! i recently found your account, and i js wanna say omg ur so talented, like ur fr my new fav writer. could u maybe write something about a virgin reader, whos only ever fingered herself, and so when matt (or chris but im a matt girl and im being self indulgent about this), and she squirts, and is super embarrassed about it and he comforts her about it? u dont have to, but idk i js think u could do this idea rlly well:)
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FIRST TIME
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: soft dom!matt x virgin!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and matt have been together for quite sometime, but never had sex. he knows you’re a virgin and he’s so patient with you, but now you think you’re ready
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT but fluff!, making out, mini panic attack, praising, p in v, squirting
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,066
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: for anon and @mattsleftnipple03
these were pretty much the same so i combined them! hope you like :)
thank you and love you guys🫶
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the pen in your hand scribbles on the piece of paper in front of you as you ponder. you’re in art class and your best friend sits across from you at the big table.
art class is basically a free period because let’s face it, you guys don’t do anything except gossip and draw for fun.
you’ve been asking your friend a series of questions about what losing your virginity is like since she has experience. the only experience you’ve ever gotten was your fingers, and to be honest, it gets old after a while.
you’re not embarrassed about being a senior in high school and still a virgin, but your boyfriend who graduated last year lost his with his ex a while back. you guys have talked about having sex for the first time for quite some time, but you were never ready.
no words can describe how grateful you are for matt. he’s been super patient and understanding with you.
but now, you think you’re ready.
“is there a reason you are asking me these questions?” your best friend asks, raising a brow.
you shrug, your hand still having a mind of its own with the pen. “i’m thinking about going all the way with matt.”
she smiles, genuinely looking happy for you. “oh my god! when?”
“i told him i plan on this weekend.”
“that’s so exciting!”
“yeah, but,” you pause to take a deep breath. “i feel nervous.”
she reaches over to stop your drawing hand. “it’s totally normal to feel nervous. matt’s such a sweet guy. i’m sure if you feel the slightest bit of discomfort, he’ll stop immediately.”
you smile at the mention of your boyfriend. she’s not wrong. matt will do anything to make you feel comfortable. he’s not one to force anything on someone. “you’re right.”
she gives your hand a light squeeze. “let me know how it goes.” she winks just as the bell rings for dismissal.
the rain outside is pattering on the window, you and matt cuddling comfortably on his bed. you guys just woke up from the best nap of your life.
you nibble on the inside of your mouth. “matt?”
“hm?” he hums, picking up his head that was resting on your chest.
“i want to do it.”
he beams at you. “positive?”
you bite your lip in excitement and nod. matt lifts himself to get more serious. “don’t be afraid to tell me to stop, okay?”
“i know,” you reply. he leans in and kisses you passionately with a hint of hunger. he breaks the kiss to take off his and your shirt but goes back at it to unclip your bra.
the skin-to-skin contact felt warm and comforting, but your anxiety is starting to take over.
you try to brush it off until matt reaches for your pants. yanking his hands away, you cover your top half with the comforter as you feel tears start to form.
matt freezes, a hint of guilt on his face. you try your best to take as many deep breaths as possible. “i’m so sorry, y/n.”
he carefully places his hand on your arm and rubs soothingly to calm you down. “n-no it’s not you.” you take three deep breaths before continuing. “it’s silly. the thought of a penis about to be inside of me freaks me out.”
you chuckle along with him, the humor helping you relax. “we don’t have—”
“i want to.” you say truthfully. “i just need a second.”
he goes through different breathing techniques with you until you calm down from your mini panic attack. he asks if you're okay at least a hundred times before you shut him up by kissing him again.
he hesitates with your pants not wanting to trigger you again, but after a beat, he pulls them down with your underwear.
his pajama pants soon end up on the floor with the rest of your clothes. he comes under the blanket with you and pecks you on the temple, grabbing a condom from the nightstand. “so proud of you.” he starts, making you blush. “you ready?”
you give him the okay, and he slowly starts pushing into you. the stretch makes you cringe and hiss, causing him to halt. “hurts?”
you shake your head. “pressure… keep going.”
dampening your lips by licking them, he continues to move. his eyes are dead set on your face to sense any discomfort. you let out a ‘mmph’ when he’s all the way in.
when he doesn’t see any bad signs, he starts moving his hips. you moan softly, the pain turning into pleasure.
“you can go faster,” you whisper, and he does. your nails leave crescent marks on his shoulders as he peppers kisses on your chest, neck, and face.
you squeeze your eyes closed, the softest of sounds leaving your lips. then, your legs twitch, and a watery liquid squirts out of you. your eyes widen, and matt stops the second he notices. “what’s wrong? need me to stop?”
“no. i think i…” your cheeks burn, too embarrassed to admit what you’re thinking.
“that’s okay. it’s completely natural.” he reassures, grabbing one of your hands to interlock with his above your head. “you’re doing so well, y/n. so fucking proud of you.”
he continues to rock his hips, this time pulling out more and thrusting back in a smidge harder. “oh.” you moan, arching your back when he starts hitting a certain spot. “oh shit, matt. just like that.”
he tries his best not to pick up speed to scare you, so instead he keeps the rhythm you’re comfortable with. he grunts, taking the hand that’s not holding yours and placing it on your hip.
the grip you have on his hand tightens, indicating that you’re close when his tip keeps abusing your g-spot.
you whimper, your legs starting to quiver from pleasure. “i’m close.”
“cum, baby. you’re doing such a good job.”
you sigh of relief when your cum slowly starts to ooze around him. matt’s right there with you with just a few more thrusts before spilling into the condom.
the feeling of him pulling out of you makes you wince, but then you two giggle. “i did it!” you say proudly, holding up your hand to give him a high five.
he laughs. “damn right you did.” he takes your high five, followed by a handhold.
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72
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actuallyverynormalbtw · 7 months
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i dont like to talk about self-diagnosis because i dont enjoy people making assumptions about me, my illnesses, and my diagnostic status. but i will say:
i have self diagnosed and gone on to be medically validated with an official diagnosis. multiple times actually. i was never wrong about my self-diagnoses.
however, i have been misdiagnosed by professionals FIVE TIMES. and let me tell you, a professional diagnosis being wrong is far more harmful than a self-diagnosis being wrong.
if your self diagnosis is wrong, maybe you used the wrong language or put yourself in a box or now feel invalid and whatnot. but if your professional diagnosis is wrong, it can lead to abuse, medical trauma, panic attacks, issues with medication, even suicide.
i was misdiagnosed with BPD when i was 15 by a psychologist that i spoke to for hardly even 10 minutes. this diagnosis was based on my parent's description of my reactions to abuse, and the diagnosis was used to validate and excuse their abuse.
i was misdiagnosed with MDD when i was 12 and put through several different types of anti-depressants. we never found anything that worked, because it was actually ADHD and dissociation, but i did end up with panic attacks and insomnia all throughout middle/highschool!
when i self-diagnosed with autism however, it saved my life. it took me out of active suicidality because i was able to finally able to accept myself after years of feeling like i am just "being a person wrong". i had the knowledge to accomodate for myself and the language to advocate for myself. this was life changing. even if i was wrong, which i wasnt, i dont see how it couldve caused any harm.
my opinions on self-diagnoses arent black and white, and im not entirely settled on them either, but i do think this is important to understand. doctors and psychologists are not all knowing. we live in a time where we can access thousands of dollars worth of university level education on the internet, even the same exact resources medical students use. plenty of people are capable of interpreting themselves and that information to come to a conclusion about what they are experiencing and what might help.
sure, self-diagnosis might be biased. but a professional is most likely going to be just as biased, and possibly less aware of it. its just silly to use bias as a primary argument when it is an inescapable feature of human psychology. there is a reason ADHD is underdiagnosed in women. there is a reason anxiety disorders are underdiagnosed in men.
an incorrect self-diagnosis wont take away resources or your space in your comminities. but professional misdiagnosis can cause real damage.
(i am not trying to fear-monger about professional diagnosis, moreso responding to the fear-mongering surrounding self-diagnosis)
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4sh--tr4y · 1 month
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Random ass headcanons for the Outsiders
(Angst Warning lmao)
Ponyboy Curtis
-Eventually had to quit smoking because he got bronchitis from it, that lead to him having to quit track n' feild
-He kept that note from Johnny for the rest of his life, at one point he cut out Johnny's signature and put the paper in a locket necklace
-For a long time Dallas' last word being "Pony" made him cry whenever he remembered it (Ik this is only movie canon but I just love it"
-He hung out at the empty lot a ton more after everything because it somehow made him feel closer to Johnny and Dally
-Has accidentally called Darry "Dad" more
-He can speak french almost fluently
Johnny Cade
-He hated when people compared him to a puppy because he was a cat person and dogs legit scared him
-He actually really wanted to tell Ponyboy that he loved him in his last words (That doesn't have to be romantically, I think it's more platonic but at the same time to each their own)
-The note Johnny had written to Ponyboy and left in the book was written in purple crayon, he wanted it to be red since that's Ponyboy's favourite colour but the nurse didn't have any red crayons
-The doctor who was keeping Mrs. Cade back and the nurse who told Johnny his mom was there were both "Considering calling CPS on that crazy lady if that kid survives,"
Dallas Winston
-When Dallas said "Pony..." right before he died, he was trying to tell him to stay alive. In a "Dont be like me" sense
-He was actually a really good boyfriend to Sylvia, almost to simping degrees, he doesn't get a lot of affection so he was starved for whatever Sylvia was giving him. It was totally toxic for him, and Johnny was always worried about it
-His skull ring was stolen from a thrift store, he stole it when he was 12
-Drunk cryer
Two-Bit Matthews
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Sodapop Curtis
-Definitely had Steve help him write the note to Ponyboy because his handwriting is barely legible.
-He's dyslexic.
-When Ponyboy had run off with Johnny he actually tried to confide in Sandy, but she couldn't stand to talk to him except over the phone so the only person Soda trusted to talk to was Steve
-Soda is a terrible cook
-When Soda is sitting down with Darry and Ponyboy before he ran out he was trying to discreetly cover his ears, and if Pony and Darry were paying attention to anything other than their own fighting they'd see Soda's about-to-cry eyes
-Can't fix a car to save his life, at least not like Steve can. He can door minor stuff but that's it.
-His first kiss was Steve by complete accident, the two were quite literally butting heads in the 6th grade. Nobody knows except them and they had this whole oath to never tell anybody
Steve Randle
-His parents split up, he has a step-dad and a step-mom and his bio parents are still on good terms. They aren't even legally divorced because neither of them could afford it
-He's actually pretty good friends with Buck like Dallas is because Buck brings his T-Bird to the DX whenever he needs something done with it, Buck is Steve's best-paying customer
-Steve's favourite pass-time is throwing glass bottles at Soc cars and ditching
-Steve favours his step-dad to his step-mom because he thinks his step-mom is taking advantage of his dad
-He actually has a step-sister but she's like 22 and in college
Darry Curtis
-Darry does indeed cry when Ponyboy calls him dad
-He genuinely had panic attacks before going to bed the whole week Ponyboy was gone
-Man has anxiety problems but wasn't actually diagnosed until the late 80's when he finally stopped being an "I don't need any help" man and decided to go to therapy... in his forties.
-Darry fucking loves dogs
-He would carry Johnny around like a doll if he needed to (if Johnny was in his way or needed to be pulled away from something)
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Note
stevie comforting you once your fear of abandonment inevitably sets in in the relationship. reassuring you he won’t leave with words, but bc he knows you’ve been told that with empty promises so many times, he shows you every day how much he means it.
cw: talks of anxiety/anxiety attacks, talks of abandonment issues, angst but quickly followed up by sickeningly sweet fluff, stevie being the best., not proofread :(
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ALSO I USED y/n ONCE BECAUSE I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO CALL R. I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT SO JUST PRETEND ITS NOT THERE ☹️
your day had started out awfully. you forgot your bag at home, you spilled coffee on your sweater, and hadn’t eaten your usual bagel this morning. not that these inconveniences were affecting you now. one thing had set your mind on a spiral.
steve had forgotten to call you when he got home.
it’s not like it was a rule. no, your relationship wasn’t like that, it was always just something steve decided to do. but today he didnt. which begged one simple question that had you fall down the rabbit hole you hadn’t felt since you started dating steve.
why?
why didn’t he call you? does he not want to talk to you? is he bored of you? did he find someone else? will you ever speak to him again? what if something you did made him not love you anymore?
obviously none of these thoughts were rational and you knew that. one thing about steve is that he wasn’t like anyone you’ve ever met. when you’re with him, your worries fade completely. the thought of him possibly leaving hadn’t crossed your mind at all. and it definitely never crossed his. ever.
but what if youre being naive? what if this promise was as faulty as the others? but no. because you know steve isn’t capable of doing that to you.
but… he forgot about you?
and thats how you ended up on your bathroom floor in nothing but steve’s t-shirt, hair a mess, mascara smudged. sobbing and wallowing in your own anxiety. anxiety that you knew wasn’t warranted. but of course, thats why its called anxiety.
and then you heard his car pulling into your driveway.
oh.
he hadn’t called after work because he was driving to your house.
a wave of panic racked through your body. bolting up and out of the bathroom. you looked in your vanity mirror and audibly groaned. you heard his car door open and peeked outside, where he was already looking up at your room. he had a small bouquet your favorite flowers tucked between his arm and his side, a criminally cute smile on his face, and two coffees that you instantly recognized as your usual coffee orders. a latte for you, an iced cold brew for steve, because he is a middle aged mother at heart.
you wave before making your way to the front door, wiping your face as best you could and praying that your face isn’t puffy and flushed from crying.
you opened the door and knew that your prayers were not answered. steves face completely fell, making his way inside and setting everything on your dining room table and coming back to you at a shocking speed. his hands cupping your face while you smiled at him, trying to convey that you’re happy.
“hey, what happened? whats wrong, love?” his hand instinctively went to your forehead to check your temperature.
“no, nothing stevie its okay! im okay!” you giggled softly.
he smiles back at you before lacing an arm under your upper thigh and pulling you onto him. starting to carry you to your bedroom. burying your face into his shoulder.
“m’sorry” you mumbled into his neck, the tears starting to fall again. guilt around the anxiety you felt only a few minutes ago, because of course he was on his way to your house. only steve would prove your brain wrong by showing up at your house with flowers and coffee.
he rubs a soothing hand up and down your back, “hey, no need to be sorry, okay? none of that,” he presses a kiss to your temple before opening the door to your room. sitting you down on your bed and sitting himself on the floor in front of you. taking your hands in his and looking up at you.
“you wanna tell me whats wrong, doll?” his voice is soft and sweet, no pressure to it.
“s’ stupid,” you attempt to look away from him because you knew his eyes would make you fold, but his hand comes to your jaw and pulls it back towards him.
“it’s not stupid, if it’s making you sad it isn’t stupid, even if you’re just anxious.”
of course steve harrington can read you like a book.
“i just-“ your voice falters, but his eyes stay on you, “i just got scared that one day you’ll leave me, i know you won’t, but just thinking about it scared me,” saying it out loud sounded like a ridiculous idea. and the look on steves face only confirmed its absurdity. his eyes glossed over a little, like a confused puppy.
“baby, no- never- what- what got you thinking about that, honey?” he almost looked upset, but not at you, he looked upset at whatever had made you feel like this.
your hands came to your face in embarrassment, laughing and groaning in embarrassment.
“its embarassinggg!”
he smiled, relieved that you understood that your worries were unwarranted.
he moved up to the bed and sat beside you now, “no, its not honey, tell me.”
you looked at him through your fingers and burst into a fit of giggles. he laughs, slightly bewildered, placing his hands on your shoulders as you leaned into him.
“i thought you forgot to call me, but then i realized how stupid that was, and that made me even more anxious!”
he laughs along with you, softly though. pulling you into his chest and petting your hair. “m’ sorry baby, i didnt mean to scare yo-“ but you cut him off.
“no steve,” you placed your hands on either side of his face, “you did nothing wrong, i had a bad day and it just came up in my mind and i freaked out, i know you love me, right?”
“i love you so much, i love you so much, so much y/n. i really do. i want to spend the rest of my life with you, and whatever comes after we die, i want to us to be together there too. youre everything ive ever wanted- no, really- its like you were sent down from heaven so i could love you. if i thought you’d say yes, id take you to the courthouse- or church- or whatever- and id marry you today. i love you, all of you, and that means i love your bad days too. so- if that mean part of your brain makes you sad again ill just have to beat it up.” he finishes his exclamation with a fake flick to the back of your head and a kiss to your hand. both of your eyes glossy with eternal happiness.
“i love you stevie” you whisper, before pressing your lips to his.
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muikitoo · 4 months
Note
Sooooooooooooo...
so...
Are you still taking requests?...
Idk what you are comfortable with doing or not... But if you are ok with it, could you do a Rise Leo x Reader anxiety attack?
*Nervous anime sweat drops 👉👈*
Like, maybe the Reader has been masking emotions all day and when Leo comes over they break down or catches them mid break down... Or something like that...?
Thank you!
*Runs away-*
Anxiety attack
Leo x gn! s/o who is having an anxiety attack.
Warnings
Anxiety attack, but the rest is fluff and comfort.
A/N:
I was actually pretty excited to write this. I hope it turned out well enough
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- When he finds u in the middle of an anxiety attack, he panics. A lot.
- Quickly goes and gets you some water.
- He tries to calm you down, without necessary touching you or doing anything that could possibly trigger you more.
- breathing exercises/techniques
- after youve calmed down a little he tries to use reassuring words and hugs u gently(only if u let him).
- "Its okay. Youre safe now, i promise."
- it rally hurts him to see you like that, he loves you more than anything.
- After some time he'll ask to talk to you about what happened, if you dont wana talk abt it then he'll try and distract u/make u feel better (movies, games, cuddles, ect) and then talk about it whenever you need
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Leo decided to visit you, worried. You hadn't texted or called him in a while. He thought you were just busy bc of school and that you'd visit the lair after your classes ended, but you never did.
Once he entered your apartment/house - it was awfully quiet. He felt his heart start to race, thinking about everything that couldve possibly happened. "Y/n? Hermosa? You home?" He said nervously. He was afraid, which he usually masks well, but this time he couldnt even think of that. He needed to make sure youre okay. The more he got closer to your room, the more he could hear faint sobs. He entered your room and saw you on the floor, shaking.
"Y/n!" He was quick to be by your side. He was confused and didnt want to touch you or do anything triggering. He quickly ran to the kitchen to grab you some water. He helped you drink some and then set the cup down somewhere and then turned his attention back to you. "Breathe, love. Breathe." He made you look at him as he told you to follow his instructions, breathing slowly - in and out.
"hey, do you mind if i hold you for a little while?" He asked after youve calmed down a bit. After getting your approval, he slightly scooted towards you and gently layed your head on his plastron, wrapping his arms around you. "Do you mind telling me what happened? Or do you want to talk about it later? As you amazing and handsome boyfriend i want to be here for you through this and help you anyway i can!" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little and wanting to earn atleast a small smile from you. You let out a shaky giggle, telling him about your stressful day and everything that happened during the classes. He listened carefully, petting your hair and humming every once in a while to let you know he's listening.
After having a talk and making sure youre okay, you decided to watch a movie. "You know what? Ill be generous today and let my amazing s/o pick whatever movie you want." He smirked as he pecked your head, getting comfortable in the sheets as he handed you the remote.
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A/N: i wrote this in school so it was rushed. Im not that educated in stuff like this so if i got something wrong please correct me without being rude.
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motorcycle-boyy · 6 months
Note
Hcs for Darry Curtis?
Random Darry Headcanons!!
he really likes cats?? like i feel like he'd have 2 of em
..plays checkers lol
he never learned how to ride a bike
is an excellent cook! will cook for you all the time
you could be going on a date to a goddamn aquarium and he'd still show up in a suit
favourite song is jive talkin by bee gees :)
speaks a bit of czech!
if pony got an s/o, he'd take him on double dates with yall
holds ur hand when he gets overwhelmed/nervous/angry
not the biggest cuddler but loves when you lean your head on his shoulder or chest
he's really good at soothing you so if you have panic attacks or an anxiety disorder he'd help you to the best of his ability
definitely saves up to buy you things he catches you eyeing in stores
a really good singer! if your lucky he'll serenade you
if you have a good family, he, pony and soda will go to yours for christmas
if you don't? thats okay! he'll let you stay over for the holidays and make sure you are safe and have a good time
reads you bedtime stories :)
if you take meds or vitamins he is such a dad about it. reminds you every morning or whatever time you are supposed to take them and will make sure you stay so he can watch you to make sure you actually took em
sometimes he'll just take you out for a walk at night and let you vent to him
makes sure you dont do any crime. if he finds you did anything- even as small as stealing a candy bar- he will give you a whole ass lecture
will kiss you on the lips (not a makeout but a reg kiss) in front of anyone, even ur family. he doesn't really care or feel shame/embarrassment about pda
slow dancing with him when his brothers are asleep <3
makes more jokes than usual around you
he has a mini garden but sometimes forgets to take care of it
will give u a gentle massage if ur stressed
has a habit of whistling. like he'll walk around the house doing whatever, cooking, watching tv etc and you just hear him whistling
thats abt all i can think of rn! i didnt know if u meant romantic or not so i did random ones. i hope you enjoyed !!
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kltira · 1 year
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Hello! I do hope your having a fantastic day/night!
And may i say i do love your blogs style!
I do hope you dont mind if i drop a request in?
May i get Mukuro (Danganronpa, ) And Kaede ( Danganronpa ) with an S/O that carries their cat around to prevent their common panic attacks and anxiety attacks? Yet they do often get made fun of because of the cat since people think its childish-
I do hope its not too much to ask- i know its a little hard but i believe in you!
And i hope you dont mind that i am 🎀 anon!
-Signed with love by - @regular-ol-anon
Good luck and please take your time!
┊₊˚{☁️}  “Comfort Kitty” ₊˚꒦。
꒦꒷︶꒷ ꔫ Requested by...꒱꒱ @Anon 🎀 ( #cutiekittysender : Anon🎀)
ꔫ Fandom꒱꒱ Danganronpa
ꔫ Genre ꒱꒱ Fluff {100% sfw}
ꔫ Type and pairing꒱꒱ Imagines (x reader) ꔫ Featuring꒱꒱ Mukuro, Kaede, Hiyoko, Fuyuhiko, Nagito, Kokichi
ꔫ Pronouns꒱꒱ They/Them, GN reader
ꔫ Content Warning(s)꒱꒱Panic attacks, light angst, bullying, swearing, Danganronpa spoilers, minor yandere themes
ꔫ Summary꒱꒱ You carry your cat around everywhere! Including Hopes Peak. You have severe anxiety and when your significant other can't be with you 24/7, you need a companion so you're not living with constant panic attacks. Though...Some kids start making fun of you and calling you childish for having your emotional support animal with you. How will your significant other react to you crying at home because of the bullying?
ꔫ Author note(s)꒱꒱ IM CRYING- I SPENT 4 HOURS (IM SLOW AND GET DISTRACTED EASILY) WRITING THIS OR SOMETHING AND THAN I CTRL Z BY ACCIDENT AND IT WENT POOF, SO I NOW HAVE TO WRITE IT AGAIN. SORRY, THIS TOOK LIKE 500 YEARS AAAAA. Anyway, enjoy! Hope you're okay that I added more characters!!
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She was a bit different about getting a cat at first because of her job and sister and was afraid something bad could happen to it, but that wasn't quite the case. Though, she would do anything to make you happy, so she was content with getting a cat in the end of things.
Plus with her originally being an orphan anyway, adopting was something she always had her hopes on doing; a pet is a great way to stop!
She knew about your constant anxiety and did her best to help, but sadly with her job she couldn't be there 24/7, so she's glad you have someone to help you when she can't be there. It truly puts her worry at ease.
She grew to love the cat too, and was happy you were confident enough to bring it everywhere with you.
Though when she saw you run home crying with your kitten from school...She knew something was up and anyone who hurt you like this was going on her hitlist....But first she had to go and check on you!
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You emitted sobs from your room. Your cat nudged against you, looking up at you; trying to comfort you. Normally this would help, but the issue was being laughed at for having the kitten. Since you ran home early because of the incident, your shared dorm with your girlfriend was just you and your cat since Hopes Peek was still in session. So who could this be? You slowly got up and sniffled. You tried to look sort of presentable, even though you were still very much upset. Opening the door, you looked up; it was Mukuro! Mukuro always had a very neutral expression, even when you started dating; but you could always tell her true expressions, anyway. She seemed worried, and you could figure out why. "(Y/N)? What happened...? Did you get hurt?" She questioned walking into the dorm room and lightly shutting the door behind her. Mukuro seemed extremally calm, she always did after all she deals with stressful situations being a soldier and all. Though, this calmness didn't mean she wasn't worried, she was always worried and caring about you. You busted out in tears again, jumping up and wrapping your hands around the other as you continued to cry into your girlfriends shoulder. Mukuro was a bit stunned at your sudden movement, but she hugged you back scooching over onto the ground just holding you in her arms for a minute. Your cat purrs and walks over to both of you, rubbing their face on both of you. "You don't have to tell me if you don-" Mukuro was cut off by you looking up at her and beginning to explain how you were getting bullied today and mocked for bringing your cat to school with you. "I'm so weak! I don't deserve to be an ultimate!!!" you mumbled into your lovers chest at the end of your explanation. Mukuro could only rub your back and leave a kiss on your head. "You're not weak my love, far from it. You don't deserve any of the words they dare say to you. I'll take care of them, don't worry." She said that last part more quieter than the rest. You sniffled and wiped away some tears and gave Mukuro a sweet smile, you honestly felt a lot better hearing her soothing voice ring throughout your ears. Your cat came up to you with a small meow while you petted the feline. "Thank you...I love you" you said to both your cat and your girlfriend.
The next day at Hopes Peak when you brought your cat, you were expecting the bullying to continue...Instead the kids that were making fun of you aren't anywhere to be seen. Just your girlfriend walking over to you and kissing you on the cheek as she walks you and your cat to all your classes. In reality, those kids were definitely checked off on Mukuro's hitlist.
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You and Kaede both agreed to getting a cat, as it fits both your cozy lifestyles
Your panic attacks always worried her, though Kaede was amazing when it came to helping you through them; she used to have performance anxiety so she gets the feeling.
Super happy you found another great coping mechanism to use when you get all stressed out.
Since you both went to different schools, bringing your cat for comfort really helps you get through the day
Though because of that the bullying started and today you just couldn't take it anymore
So here you were on the bathroom floor next to your cat that was trying to comfort you, crying your eyes out
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Kaede bent down to your level, frowning. She knew about the bullying and always tried her best to cheer you up, and most of the time it worked. This time, you seemed to be too stuck in your own head. Kaede didn't know what to do but hug you and put her hands through your hair in the hope of soothing the tears pouring out of your eyes. "I just wish I didn't have anxiety..." you mumbled in between sobs, your cat just lying on your lap, also not knowing what to do. Kaede was speechless, her mind fumbling over how to respond, but she responded in the only way she knew how: through music and song.
Kaede slowly got up from the ground your eyes tracing her movement as she went over to the other room where the piano was. You rubbed your eye and sniffled, curious on what she was about to do. Your girlfriend started playing the piano, it was your favorite song! Your cat perked up and started to trail around Kaede's feat as she started playing. You smiled getting up and wiping dried up tears, her playing always made you happy and this time...It made you confident and cared about. "Thank you Kaede." you whispered just enough for her to hear once she finished her song. She nodded in approval before giving you a peck on the cheek.
The next day at school the bullying continued, but you were no longer letting it get to you. You were confident bringing your cat with you and simply ignored those who were bothering you. You always remembered Kaede's piano playing when you were anxious about having your cat with you all the time and it truly just made you feel better. Thus, because of your ultimate pianist girlfriend; you feel much better about having your support kitty!
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It was actually Hiyoko who wanted the cat in the first place since she never got to have an animal growing up
Of course you agreed, as cats are just the cutest and it would make a great addition to the family.
You always kept your anxiety pretty well hidden since that's just how you were, but you did notice when the cat was around it always helped your mind to be put at ease.
So you started carrying the little guy everywhere with you
Hiyoko didn't mind, she actually secretly thought it was so cute and was happy you both got along
You were only teased at school when Hiyoko wasn't around, since even the bullies feared to be bullied by her wrath
You never said anything as you felt it wasn't a big deal and didn't want to trouble your girlfriend
Though sometimes it was alot to handle and it stressed you out to the point you just broke down at school one day in the bathroom
୨₊˚‿︵‿꒰🌸꒱‿︵‿˚₊୧
Hiyoko waddled after you; she knew something was wrong, and she was absolutely right. "Huh? Y/N? What's wrong!?" She panicked as she hugged you close. Nobody but you would ever see this caring side to her, but she also didn't care if people saw it. Her focus was on you and only you. You sniffled and explained the mean things people had said to you and that it was just too much. She was surprised anyone would dare talk to you that way; you were perfect and the only person who understood her. She had a pouty face on; she was definitely not mad at you but rather at them.
"How dare those pig-faced bitches say anything mean to you? They're such losers, and how is it that they go this low? Hmph." She pouted, crossing her arms, and you giggled. The insults you thought were very creative and cute made you feel a bit better. Hiyoko smiled back at you and helped you up on the floor. Grabbing your hand, she started walking away with you before starting to speak once again. "Cm'on. I'm going to make them say sorry to you!" Your eyes widened; this is Hiyoko were talking about, so it's bound to be insults until they're crying apologies to you. Hiyoko knows how to hit all the weak spots.
You showed her the people that were being mean to you, and she crossed her arms, kimono draping. She looked pissed, and the bullies stopped in their tracks. "You pig-slut losers! You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste! Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons? I’d slap you, but I don’t want to make your face look any better. Now, see that door? Say sorry and go to the other side of it." She spurted at them, and it seemed to work, as they quickly apologized to you and did as she said. Maybe they were afraid of the amount of bullying Hiyoko would have done if they didn't, as what she said was just a sample. Hiyoko pouted and then looked at you with a smile. "Now, wanna go and get candy? We can get cat treats as well!" She tilted her head as you nodded and smiled back at her.
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You already had your feline friend before you started dating Fuyuhiko
It was surprising to you how gentle and caring he was towards your pet. You didn't think he liked cats but he actually really does
You never really carried your cat around before your relationship bloomed, but your anxiety started to get bad and Fuyuhiko was always at dangerous jobs so he wasn't around alot unfortunately
Though when he is around, even though he's not best with his words he gives the best physical affection that always eases your mind
Honestly people were scared to even talk to you because of your boyfriend, but those unknowing of who your boyfriend was was quick to tease and pick on you. Not a good idea on there part
You didn't want to worry Fuyuhiko with this since he has enough on his plate, so you just silently sobbed to yourself when he was away
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A few tears trickled down your cheeks while you were in your shared dorm. Your boyfriend was already gone for whatever the Yakuza had going on at the moment, and he wasn't expected to be home until much later. The bullying earlier really got to you and stressed you out; you weren't sure what else to do but cry and curl up in a ball. Your cat was in the other room asleep; you didn't want even your fluffy little fur ball to see you like this. After a few moments, the door opened quietly. Usually,  you would be taking a nap at this time, so Fuyuhiko probably thought as much. When your boyfriend walked in, you tried to quickly wash away your tears, but Fuyuhiko already saw the emotional distress you were in.
His eyes widened, he crouched down to your level, and he gave you a hug. "Who the fuck did this to you? Are you hurt?" He panickily asks, trying to be as quiet as he can to not scare you or make your anxiety worse. You nodded and sniffled, afraid to talk, but you knew it would only worry your boyfriend if you didn't. You took a deep breath, looked up at Fuyuhiko, and made eye contact. Soon enough, you were crying your eyes out, explaining your situation to your beloved. Fuyuhiko's eyes turned to anger. How could someone dare even say a word to you without his permission, nevermind say something so filthy? He took a deep breath, controlling his anger so as not to take it out on you. He kisses you on the lips lightly as you melt into it. "I'll handle it; don't worry, Y/N. I fucking promise you." He whispered into your ear.
The next day, you brought your cat to school as always, expecting the bullies to come and torment you again, almost forgetting Fuyuhiko's promise, until he tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and smiled at him, pecking his lips with a kiss. He wasn't usually at school because of his job, so it was a happy surprise. "By the way, Y/N, Peko is handling those fuckers today, so she won't be here," he whispered into your ear as your eyes widened. It was a good day to have a Yakuza boyfriend!
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He says yes to whatever you want, you are his little hope bagel after all!
But.....A pet? After what happened to his dog he wasn't sure if he deserved to take care or even be around another animal; afraid his luck would do something to it
After a lot of convincing him that it'll be okay, you both agreed to get a kitten
You got a white kitten that looked very similar to Nagito in a weird way, it was comforting to think even when the short minutes when Nagito was away you still had a piece of him
So you started to bring the kitten everywhere with you!
Nagito also suffers from anxiety, so if anyone he understands it the best. He's overjoyed you found a great coping mechanism
Plus he doesn't think he's good enough to comfort you, so this also puts his mind at ease.
Nagito regularly got bullied at school, and it's usually you that would stand up from him but since you started bringing a cat with you...Things started to change
You're a really sensitive person and don't know how to deal with being picked on so you just start crying
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Nagito was a clingy mess, so of course he was with you when you overheard some kids talking bad about you and your cat, and he was there when you started to tear up. Nagitos’ heart broke. How dare someone bring despair to his precious hope? You tried not to weep In front of your boyfriend, not that you were afraid to show weakness but the fact that you couldn’t stand him being a big worried mess about you. Your boyfriend stayed calm and took your hand and guided you out of the school. You didn’t ask what he was doing as you were ecstatic to leave the school and destress. Your cat was on Nagito’s shoulder, curious about how to make you feel better. You and Nagito walked to the car, Nagito in the driver’s seat and you in the passenger seat. He frowned, looking over at your saddened and stressed out state. You had no words as when you were upset and stressed; talking wasn’t a thing you did. Nagito hugged you close and tilted his head. “It’s okay, my hope. Everything will be okay. You’re so strong and beautiful, please don’t listen to their despairful words,” he said softly as your cat climbed onto your lap and curled up, purring. You pet your kitten, then giggle and pet Nagito's hair. Later that day, Nagito drove both of you home. He had a plan of how to handle those people who were picking on you, but for now, he decided to keep your mind off of it. Thus, you Nagito and your kitten all cuddles on the couch together and watched your favorite movie. “... I love you,” you mumbled to Nagito as you cuddled into his chest, snuggling your head into him. His face turned red with blush as you cuddled onto his chest.. You said this a lot to him, but he won’t ever believe he has such a hopeful, significant other that truly loves him. “I love you too.”
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Why do you want a cat? Isn't he good enough for you?
He would tease you, but all with love of course
At the adoption center of course he acted like a toddler looking at all the animals and pointing....
"OOOOH!! WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE? CMON! THIS ONES SO COOL!!!"
After an hour you adopted a black cat because Kokichi said it looked evil, but that was a lie as the cat was the sweetest thing to both of you
The kitty would always seem to make you happy just as much as Kokichi did. He had to admit he was a SLIGHHHHT bit jealous but he still was happy for your small little friend
Kokichi was either hated or loved at school, no in between, but everyone knew that you were his queen/king/royalty because he would talk about you ALL the time
So those that didn't like him...Well also didn't like you, but until you started bringing your cat around they had nothing to make fun of you for
You were used to teasing by Kokichi, but this is straight out bullying with the cruel words they said to you
Once the day ended you broke down, frowny face and all
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You were off on the way to your dorms while walking with your kitten on your shoulder and boyfriend next too; you did this every day after your classes, but this time you weren’t as cheerful and you weren’t teasing Kokichi back when he made snarky remarks. He took notice of this but didn’t want to say anything in public with all the other ultimate’s walking through to their own dorms. Kokichi frowned before bringing you closer and taking your hand. He just held your hand on the way back to both of your dorms. Your cat went off to eat, and Kokichi grabbed your wrist with concern. “… What happened?” he asked in a worried tone, tilting his head. “W-what do you mean?” you acted dumb trying to ease your lovers’ concern. “Don’t lie to me, please tell me” a small tremble in his voice at this point; you just sighed and frowned before telling him everything that’s been happening and you started sobbing at the end of your explanation.
Shock swept over Kokichi. He knew people hated him and he couldn't care less, him and D.I.C.E would just prank them all the time anyway, but he draws the line of them messing with his queen/king/royalty. The rest of the night was filled with special attention from your little supreme leader. He was a clingy mess, and you loved it! He gave you many pecks on the cheeks and did everything in his power to distract you from what happened, besides he plans to have D.I.C. E give them the worst prank he can think of tomorrow, making sure they never dare make fun of you for having an emotional support animal again. While you both were cuddling, your cat wanted to join as it pounced onto the bed and curled in between you two, meowing and being a cutie. “See! It’s dividing me from my queen/king/royalty. I told you it’s evil!!!” Kokichi states, giving a pouty look to your cat. All you could do was facepalm at his shenanigans. He was such a loveable goofball.
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