#to get panic level overwhelmed

[steampoweredskeleton]

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Ignore

[thelaststarfalling]

get work done while at home on break (impossible challenge)

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

An incomplete guide to how to talk to young children (3-5 years old):

- Do not assume they understand your instructions the first time. They will ask you the same question three times. Answer it the same way, patiently. They will get it eventually.

- Children will ask strings of “why” questions. They’re not trying to be annoying; they don’t have a lot of the context older people have. Answer until you can’t, then admit you don’t know and ask them a question back. They’ll get distracted for the moment, and trust that you take their questions seriously.

- If you need a kid to do something, give a reason, but don’t give up at “I don’t want to”. If they don’t listen, it’s okay to say “I explained why, and I still need you to do it.” Be calm, and firm. Usually, kids will listen the second or third time.

- If a kid doesn’t listen to an instruction repeatedly, there’s probably something in the way. Ask them why they’re not *without accusing them*, and they’ll tell you what’s going on most of the time. Common reasons: I’m scared, I don’t know how, I miss my parent/sibling, I’m tired, I’m angry/frustrated/sad, I need help. Address the roadblock and help find a compromise that works for the both of you.

- Threats are only as good as you can enforce them. If you threaten them with a countdown, you need a consequence to back it up that is appropriate to the request. For example: “I need you to stay in your chair. I’m going to count to five. If I get to five, and you’re not sitting in your seat with your feet on the floor, I am writing down that you were not listening during snack time on your behavior report.” Keep in mind that these threats only work if the consequence is at the right level; too harsh, and they’ll get overwhelmed and shut down, but too light, and they won’t see it as a consequence. A kid who doesn’t care what their behavior report says won’t worry about a bad report as a consequence.

- Never scream at a child. Never hit them. Never continuously escalate consequences until they do what you say. These behaviors cause a child to panic, and their fear response will prevent them from doing what you want them to, as well as make them more distrusting of you in the future. It’s not just cruel, it is actively counterintuitive to correcting their behavior.

- Make a point to notice and compliment/reward good behavior, especially with kids you are biased to view as “rude” or “badly behaved”. Kids take the views of adults seriously, and if they feel as though they can’t redeem themselves in your eyes, they won’t waste energy trying. Complimenting good behavior when you see it will encourage them to repeat good behaviors to earn your praise. In addition, if there’s other children nearby, they will also mimic the complimented behavior to earn the same praise. Give it.

- Kids want to feel heard. If they want to show or tell you “something cool”, and you have a few moments, watch/listen and compliment them *regardless of if you get it or not*. If you don���t have time, say “That sounds really cool! Can you tell me after we do [insert thing]?” This tells them that you care while still making sure they do what they need to.

- Kids can be downright frustrating sometimes, especially when they need to do something and they just *won’t*. Recognize when you’re getting angry, and learn to stop talking before you direct that anger at them. Take some deep breaths, remind yourself that this too shall pass, and try a different approach.

- Always understand why you’re asking a child to do something. Not only does this help you tell them why they need to, it helps you find replacement behaviors if they can’t/won’t do it. For example: “I need you to lay down and try to sleep, because your friends are sleeping and what you’re doing right now is waking them up. If you can’t sleep after trying for a while, we can work together to find you a quiet activity that you can do at your cot.”

- Don’t expect from a child what you wouldn’t expect from yourself. Could you stand laying still and staring at the ceiling for an hour when you’re not tired? No? Don’t ask a kid to do it. Could you stand staying out in the cold for an hour without a jacket? No? Don’t ask a kid to do it. Could you stand someone yelling at you without feeling angry? No? Don’t ask a kid to do it. Even if you think you could do it, consider if you could do it with the same limitations this child has. Could you do it without the emotional regulation and impulse control you’ve developed as an adult? Could you do it without the inference skills you’ve learned after years of social interactions? Could you do it when you felt angry, tired, overwhelmed, hungry, thirsty, desperately needing to pee with no bathroom nearby? If not, don’t ask a child to do it.

- Don’t react to potty words, insults, or offensive language. Don’t laugh, and don’t act upset. Use the same tone you would if someone said something innocuous, and correct them in that tone. “We don’t say that; that’s a hurtful thing to say to someone.” Or “That’s not funny. Let’s talk about something else.”

- Kids don’t (and should not) have a sense of sexual innuendo or puberty. A four year old doesn’t understand that reaching up to hug you and touching your breasts in the process is gross. A five year old doesn’t understand that “why aren’t you a mommy?” or “why does your face have red dots on it” are weird questions to ask random people. Enforce boundaries without delving into details. “Don’t touch me there; that makes me uncomfortable” and “That’s just how it works sometimes” can be used to great effect. Importantly, don’t act angry or use a tone that indicates they did something wrong; this will seem to them like you’re arbitrarily angry.

- Kids at this age don’t have a strong sense of cognitive empathy or predicting the future. The idea that actions have consequences beyond the immediate result is a very, very new concept to them. Be prepared to explain the obvious of “why can’t I bite her when she makes me mad?”, “why can’t I steal his toy when he stole mine?”, and “why do I have to do what you tell me when I don’t want to?”

- Give explicit instructions. “Stop that” isn’t likely to be understood by a four year old. “Stop throwing the toys; please put them in the bucket gently” is far easier for a kid to follow.

[bella-goths-wife]

The Vee's reactions to their platonic(parental for Val Vox maybe if you are feeling it?) pet seeking them out for affection after a breakdown? Just desperate for any comfort

Yandere Vs reaction to pet reader seeking comfort after a breakdown

Warnings: SA implied/threatened and mentioned, Valentino, panic attacks, self harm (hair pulling, using broken glass and arm scratching) hurt/little comfort, existential crisis mode, just poor Vs pet, abuse, punishments, dark content

Vox:

You didn’t know what brought it on honestly

One minute you were working with Valentino in the living room of the upper level of the tower where you and the Vs resided, and the next your feet are carrying you as fast as they could away from him

Maybe it was a mixture of things, val’s hand on your knee, the inappropriate sounds you were having to edit that you could identify as angel dust, his talking about how he wanted to hurt angel

All of it just mashed together to create an overwhelming feeling of pure fear

So you did what you were so used to doing when you were alive, you ran as fast as you could from the perceived danger

You could hear Valentino’s angered yells from behind you but your legs still carried you in the opposite direction until they took you to Voxs office

You assumed it would be empty since Vox had to be charging at this time, so you entered it knowing that Valentino wouldn’t enter the office out of fear that Vox would see him

You collapsed on the floor and sobbed you heart out with painful cries as your fingers threaded into your hair and tugged painfully to get a feeling of pain that could ground you

But Vox was in the office, and he looked at the sight in front of him with a mixture of parental concern and anger that someone had disturbed his possession

He approached you carefully before crouching down to meet your eyes

He repeatedly asked you what was wrong but you couldn’t answer, it was only when he touched your arm did he get a reaction out of you as your eyes snapped up to look at him before wrenching your arm away

This confused and concerned Vox but he didn’t have time to decipher your reaction before you practically pounced on his crouching figure and wrapped your arms around his middle as he fell backwards

(Think when jinx and silco first meet)

He stayed still out of shock for a few moments as you sobbed into his ridiculously expensive suit before he wrapped his arms around you and stroked your arm comfortingly

He pulled your face out of his chest and held your face in his hands before wiping away your tears with his thumbs and ignoring the crackles that came from your tears seeping into his technological body

You rant your little heart out but Vox completely zoned you out as he focuses on what this situation had made him feel

He felt concern sure, but the fact that you’d come to him to seek comfort and affection gave him a small thrill

You never gave him affection willingly unless he had given you drugs beforehand to make you calmer in his presence, so this just proved to him that you needed him

He made a mental note to make you work with Valentino more, if this was the reaction he was going to get

He may be concerned, but he’s cruel enough to ignore your panicked state if it meant you’d continue to willingly give him affection

Velvette:

Velvette had been especially cruel today

It was like she was purposely setting you up to fail just for her entertainment, the same way you pretend to throw a toy for a puppy and have them look back at you confused when they can’t find it

She purposely gave you the wrong coffee order for the models, she sent you into voxs office with unfinished paperwork and she had been verbally abusing you from the moment you entered the room

But something snapped in you after the two of you were alone for the night, she said something particularly cruel

“Maybe if you were a bit more useful then you could have lived to reach your twenties at least, but instead your down here because your molly infested brain was too useless to work out how to save yourself and the others”

Your death was a particularly sensitive spot, and usually the Vs stayed away from that subject because of your volatile reaction when you had to recount the story after hours of interrogation

And velvette had just pressed on it like it was a fresh bruise

Your breakdown started out of anger as velvette turned her back and you grabbed a tray of champagne glasses before throwing it against the closest wall

This shocked velvette to her core, she’d never seen you show such extreme and violent anger before

So she watched on as you destroyed furniture and glasses around the room before you knelt on the ground and sobbed

You were kneeling directly on the smaller shards of broken glass as you cried and grabbed handfuls of the glass and held them tightly in your palms

Velvette tried commanding you to stop in various ways but you just kept crying as the blood spread onto the floor

After ten minutes of watching you cry, velvette sighed and stomped over to you before slapping you harshly across the face

You stopped crying as you held your face in shock, but what shocked you more was the feeling of velvettes hand petting your hair in a similar fashion to how youd pet your dog

You felt yourself lean into her palm, desperate for the contact despite it coming from one of your abusers

Velvette hand trailed from your hair to your face as she gently traced the musical note markings that ran down your cheeks

You leaned into her palm before she grabbed your chin harshly and moved your head to observe the destruction you’d caused

“Clean this shit up immediately” she commanded harshly “then meet me in my bedroom”

You cleaned the room for hours and ignored the pain that it caused before you met velvette in her room where she removed the glass from your hands and knees before bandaging them and commanding you to sleep in her bed for the night

As she watched you sleep, she couldn’t help but think about what she had observed from you today

And she quickly worked out that one day she could use your anger to her benefit, and she planned on doing just that when the time was right

But sleep peacefully for now, pet

Valentino:

Your breakdown had happened the minute he forced you into his studio

Vox had put strict rules in place stating that you weren’t to go on there, but Val felt adventurous today

But that’s not what caused the breakdown particularly, it was the unedited video of angel dust playing on the screens

The video that showed his pained and fearful expressions

And the cherry on top was realising that the two of you were alone and that the camera was on and facing you

You mentally tried to prepare yourself for what you thought was going to happen, and you tried to dissociate from your body to avoid feeling his touch

But you couldn’t, panic filled your entire body as you bolted for the door but it was locked

Val just grinned his evil fucking grin

He hadn’t brought you here to assault you, even though he engineered the situation to imply that

He brought you here because he wanted you to capture your breakdown on camera after being told about them from Vox

He thought it would be funny to show the next time he and the other Vs had time to watch a movie, he knows both of them get so fascinated by the complexities of your emotions

You had started to violently bang on the door to see if you could free yourself but it was useless

Val simply sat on the chair near the door and watched as your fawn ears became pinned to your skull and you fell to the ground out of fear

Tears filled your eyes as you hyperventilated through the fears, and you brought your nails to the skin of your arms and dragged them down harshly to give yourself some pain to distract yourself from the panic

“Stop that” val commanded harshly when he saw the harm his toy was doing to herself “come here”

You walked forward cautiously as you sobbed and hyperventilated while holding your arms protectively over your body

“Sit” Val had commanded with a grin as you followed his directions

He grabbed your head surprisingly gently and laid it down on his fluff covered shoulder

You say crying and preparing yourself for the worst on his shoulder and Val just grinned into the camera

Until you did something unexpected and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and cried into his shoulder

Valentino sat there stunned as you cried into his shoulder until his hand came up to rub your back in what he thought was a soothing manner

You sobs increased at his touch but all he did was hold you for a few moments before getting up and turning the camera off

He then went and grabbed the bandages and wrapped your scratched up arms, all while having an expression of concern mixed in with confusion

“I’m sorry princesa” he said quietly as he wrapped your arms “it won’t happen again”

He gets up and unlocked the door and watched as you ran out and locked yourself in your room to likely continue your breakdown

Val watched his toy self destruct and it wasn’t nearly as fun as it was when he watched his actors do so

He almost felt embarrassed, shameful even. The same way he would feel if he accidentally damaged his expensive car in a way he knew couldn’t be fixed with a simple paint job

Maybe it was your touch that made him feel this, the touch of someone he didn’t have any romantic or sexual interest in

He looked at the camera and felt a deep sense of disappointment hit him

He wanted anger like you had with velvette or emotional pain that you had with Vox

But all he received was fear and all it filled him with was a sense of boredom and shame

He was bored if fear from you, he wanted a more complex reaction

And he’d get it out of you somehow

Tag list so far :)

@buttercupfangirl @repostingmyfavs @the-faceless-bride

[jasmines-library]

Anonymous said:

Live for your writing <3 I’ve read the batfam and I am quite literally obsessed

Could I ask for a piece about the batboys comforting batsis reader because she had/is having a panic attack? thank you so much!!! :D

Fight or Flight

Note: Hello lovely anon! I'm so glad you like my writing. You absolutely can, I hope you enjoy. Also I’m so sorry but I lost the original ask as my tumblr was acting up and I forgot to add tags the first time.

Warnings: Panic attacks, hurt/comfort kinda.

Word Count: 1k (short but sweet)

⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤

You had been feeling off all week. Not only was it Gotham’s busiest time of the year, which meant that you were constantly on your feet, but you also had a bunch of unfinished assignments to catch up on that were wearing you out. You had stupidly agreed to help Cass finish her assignments on top of your own and the load was becoming overbearing. On top of that, you didn’t have the heart to tell her that you couldn’t do them, which completely added to your stress level as it now meant you had to find the time to finish all of the paperwork.

You were still feeling overwhelmed as you suited up for patrol. You were out with your four brothers and you knew that the night would be busy. Gotham always was this time of year. The five of you had already stopped a few petty crimes and were making your way through the city. The silence that fell over the five of you allowed your mind to wander and you quickly became worked up over your increasingly large to-do-list and you began to hyperventilate. You just wanted to leave, but you knew you couldn’t. Conflicted, your heart began to beat faster and faster and your breathing got shallow and shallower like someone was cutting off your supply and-

You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your chest was rising and falling in quick, sharp breaths as you tried to take in air that refused to come. Ridden with panic your body was completely tense as you fell behind your brothers, stopping in your tracks to clutch as your constricting chest. Trying to blink away the flood of tears that just fell heavier, you leaned against the wall. This only made you panic more as you knew that you needed to keep going with the patrol.

Dick had noticed that you had fallen behind. His trained ears noticed the absence of your light and smaller paced steps that contrasted against his and his brothers. He slowed his pace as he glanced behind him to try and spot you. The vigilantes eyes widened when he saw you clutching your chest and leaning desperately against the wall and for a heart-wrenching moment he thought that you had been injured. Turning on his heel he sprinted back toward you alerting your brothers who all followed quickly after seeing the cause of Dick’s sudden change in demeanour.

When they reached you, after what felt like too long but was actually only a matter of seconds covered by long strides, Tim was quick to search you for injury only to come back looking confused with his eyebrows turned down when he found you seemingly unscathed.

“What’s the matter, kid?” He asked frantically “Are you hurt?”

You shook your head and tried to give him an answer but all that came out was a ragged sob as you continued to clutch at your chest. Your heart pounded in your chest as you shook, surrounded by your brothers, and suddenly Damian clocked what was happening.

“She’s having a panic attack.”

You nodded somewhat recognisably as your brother's high alert switched off somewhat. Jason took your hands gently, moving them away from your suit that you were clutching and held them gently in his. He then eased you to the floor and crouched in front of you.

“Hey, Y/N/N. Look at me. You’re okay.”

The sound of his gentle voice and the feeling of his leather gloves in your hand grounded you somewhat and you managed to get your eyes to stop looking around sporadically and to focus on him.

“Good. Now deep breaths.” He moved your hand so that it rested over his chest to allow you to feel his steady rhythm.

“In and out, Little Wing. Follow Hood.” Dick added. He was still hovering over you anxiously as Jason tried to calm you down.

As you followed your brother's breathing, you found yours gradually slowing until it somewhat was back to normal.

Damian made his way over and sat down beside you to offer you some comfort. You were feeling slightly dizzy, and noticing he signalled for Dick to grab you some water from his pack. Damian took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’re okay, sis.”

You sniffled, wiping away the last of your onslaught of tears. “Sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Little Wing.” Tim told you. “It happens to the best of us.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Dick added. “I’ve totally freaked out during a mission before. We all have. In fact, just last week Damian-”

“Tt. We don’t need to talk about that.” Damian chided, rolling his eyes.

There was a moment of tender silence as you regained your composure before Jason asked:

“You wanna talk about it?”

You shrugged at them, bringing your knees to your chest. “I don’t really know what happened… I guess I’ve just had a bad feeling about tonight and I’ve been so stressed about all of my assignments I still need to write up. I guess it just all caught up to me at the wrong time.”

“Oh kid. I’m sorry none of us have been around to help. We’ve been so caught up in our own stuff that we’ve failed to notice that you might need help too.” Dick told you.

“How about we get you home so you can relax? Hm?”

“But…what about patrol?” You asked, voice raising an octave as you began to panic a little again “We can’t just miss it!”

“Bruce will understand.” Tim reassured you.

“And we’ll help you finish your assignments.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.” You protested.

“We’re your brothers, kiddo. It’s what we’re here for.”

[portraitofariel]

Controversial Post

Carmy used Claire.

An opinion I have yet to come across in the discourse regarding the dreaded Carmy/Claire pairing is the following--Carmy was fully content never calling/making Claire his girlfriend. Because he never had to do anything to get her to like him. She provided pussy, car rides, an ear to bounce ideas off of, no resistance or intellect, and no effort he had to put in.

Allow me to elaborate.

From their first interaction at the market to the moment in the walk-in, Claire has been a nuisance in his life. She consistently disregarded his boundaries in the following ways:

Ignoring the fact that he struggled to remember her name; there's also no mention of her last name to this day.

Misreading their initial conversation at said market and not reading his body language for what it was: a lack of interest in her. If a woman has to ask a man for his number and he doesn't ask for hers, he isn't interested in pursuing things further. Argue amongst yourselves about that.

Numbergate. In the real world, this would be extremely concerning. Skirting around someone's clear sign they don't like you by giving you a fake number is a huge red flag. It screams desperation and a lack of self-respect. Who chases a man that purposely obstructs their advances then goes to his good friend to extract information? Shame on Fak as well for giving out Carm's private information to a woman he hasn't mentioned in five years. wtf Fak.

When she does call him, she badgers him to get a clear answer as to why he gave her a fake number, instead of taking the hint when she realized it was fake. Once again not taking his hesitance while dictating the numbers to her as a sign he doesn't want her.

"Speaking of dead brothers, do you wanna go to a party?" wtf even was this. By Claire's own admission, she and Carmy never talked in their youth. She essentially hung around his family but never interacted with him so why is she so obsessed with him? I will never understand this. Her tasteless attempt at breaking the ice regarding Mikey's death is so heavy-handed and odd.

Freezergate. Even before she found out he was stuck in the walk-in, what was Claire's urgency to get to back-of-house? Why would she think it would ever be appropriate to just walk back there? Sugar's husband, Pete, has never done that in the show so what makes Claire think she's special enough to do so? I always wonder what might have happened had Sydney been back there when Claire crossed that boundary.

Now the juicy part. Unpacking Carmy's disinterest.

Ever notice that Carmy only ever asked her surface-level questions about her life? He never asked about her interests outside of work, her family, her passions, her last name, or anything else. The entire relationship is on Carmy's terms/timeline. Nothing we've seen on-screen indicates he's been to her apartment or hung out with her friends (aside from that one juvenile ass party in 2x05). Every time they have sex, it's at his place. The overwhelming majority of their conversations center around his needs/grievances about the restaurant. He never buys her flowers or gifts (cooking dinner one single time doesn't count), never has deep conversations with her about her, nor did he call her his girlfriend until Sydney, of all people, pressured him to do so. The subsequent conversation with Fak, "is Claire my girlfriend? What's a girlfriend?" is bullshit. Carmen has been around couples his whole life. He knows what a girlfriend is. He knows what a wife is. He's a 30+ year old man who surely had romantic interests before and after Claire. He just didn't want her to be his girlfriend until he felt immense pressure from his circle to make her that.

How do I know this? In 24 hours, Carmy went from "I love her a lot" (and this is only after Fak straight up asks him if he loves her) to "I like her". In the course of one day, he went from love to like. That says it all. Not to mention this is after the mother of all panic attacks where his hidden feelings for Syd bubble to the surface. A lot of people forget that Carmy is a man and because of this, he does what men tend to do. Whether he was conscious of it or not, he took advantage of a desperate girl like Claire because she threw herself at him with abandon. She willingly put herself in a position to be used by a man she barely knew, then cried to Richie when things didn't go her way. Their 'relationship' went the way it was always going to go because I'd argue she was never truly his girlfriend. Claire was a stopgap between the restaurant and Carmy running away from his problems.

[bananastarion]

Rambling headcanons about how Astarion's trauma could manifest in your relationship.

Disclaimer: I am not fetishizing trauma or PTSD here. I have C-PTSD myself, and have dated others with it as well. So some of this is (loosely) inspired by my own experiences. It's not pretty, it's not fun, but I'd say it's pretty realistic. So yeah, fair warning! Anyway, let's gooooo

Astarion isn't fazed by much, but he IS claustrophobic- having to claw your way out of your own coffin, being trapped in a mindflayer pod and being trapped in a tomb for a year straight would do that to anyone. If he is ever unfortunate enough to be stuck in a small space again, he'll go into a blind panic. He'll hyperventilate and try to force his way out any way he can, and if he can't get out in time he'll just completely mentally shut down for a bit. If you plan to pull him into a little broom closet for a sneaky fuck, just forget it ok? You will probably get your eyes accidentally clawed out.

There is a long period in your relationship where Astarion is gradually getting more comfortable with being vulnerable around you, but he's also very self-conscious about it. He doesn't want you to pity him or think he's weak. You will be tempted to give him lots of validation and praise to make up for all of the psychological abuse he endured, to reassure him that he's finally safe and free, and that you love him for more than just his body. That his problems won't ever drive you away, and that you don't judge him. He appreciates your words deeply, he wants and needs them more than he cares to admit. But at the same time, they completely overwhelm him. Finally being in a good place with a caring partner is such a stark contrast to what he's been through, that it forces him to see even deeper into the void inside him and recognize just how badly he was treated, how deprived he's been. They hit him hard in both good and bad ways, and sometimes he'll tell you to stop because he just can't handle feeling so much right now. It's best to stick to mostly surface level stuff and ease carefully into the deeper, more meaningful observations.

The sweeter your words, the more his mind races with fears that you are idealizing him and eventually you'll come to see him for what he really is- and then abandon him. Fears that he'll come to depend on your kindness only for it to be ripped away, whether by you or by circumstances beyond his control. Fears that you don't really mean it, that you're just manipulating him the way he did to others. Deep down he hopes and trusts you're sincere, but it's just so hard to accept when Cazador's voice is in his head, countering all of it. This is all so new to him, so unknown. And the unknown is terrifying. He gets frustrated that your kindness does this to him, he wants to be able to embrace your words, he's so impatient to heal and finally be over this shit already. He judges himself so harshly for still struggling with all this. Cazador's dead, he is free, he has someone who truly loves him- why isn't that enough?! Why can't he fully appreciate it, is he just going to feel broken forever? He worries he'll take too long to get over his past, and you'll get tired of it and leave. Expect to give him lots of reassurance about all of this.

He doesn't like to cry around you, but over time you will lower his guard enough that he'll stop fighting back the tears quite so much. Sometimes it's a bad dream, sometimes you say something that just hits him hard (even if it's in a good way), and sometimes he has no idea what triggered it. You tell him he can wake you up any time if he needs you, but often he chooses not to wake you and just suffers through it alone. When it happens while you're both awake, at first he would roll over and face away from you when the tears started flowing if he couldn't collect himself, and you'd just hug him from behind. But eventually he feels comfortable enough to bury his face in your chest and just let it all out. When it's really bad, he'll be trembling and hugging you so tightly as he sobs into your shirt that it's almost hard for you to breathe. The best thing you can do is just be there with him, stroke his hair, caress the tears off his cheeks. It can be dicey, but eventually you learn to read him well enough that sometimes stroking the scars on his back very gently can be healing for him. There are other times though, when this will be too much for him. Same goes for kissing. Also, don't even think about telling anyone you've seen him like this. But of course, why would you?

Don't go into therapist mode with him when he's that vulnerable, and if he decides to talk, just let him talk. Hold space for him and be there with him. Afterwards, help ground him in the present and reconnect him to his senses by pointing out things in the room, remind him that it's not all happening to him right now. Realize how special it is that he feels safe enough with you to be so vulnerable. There are times when he even breaks down during sex, and he'll say that he's fine and you can keep going, but it's for the best to stop what you're doing and check in instead. He often dissociates when he's triggered, and doesn't realize something is wrong until it's too late.

Trauma isn't always pretty, and there are times when it does strain your relationship. When he's really triggered, he might take it out on you. He'll try his best to push you away, and say terrible things he doesn't mean. Perhaps things Cazador said to him. His articulate manner of speech can be sharper than his blade when wielded against you in the heat of the moment. He doesn't believe you can love this side of him, that he is fundamentally broken and unlovable, so it's a test of sorts to prove his own fears. He doesn't necessarily realize what he's doing, he's just lashing out from a point of pure fear. Trauma is an explanation for this behavior, but not an excuse, so it's important you set very firm and consistent boundaries when he gets like this. He might not appreciate it in the moment, but he will once he calms down.

It takes some time for him to feel truly secure with you, but he's getting there. In the meantime, he's starting to get a little clingy and codependent. He's not used to having so much freedom, and doesn't always know what to do with himself when you're not around. Being in your presence is when he's closest to feeling safe and at ease, and being apart for too long can cause his mind to race, especially when he has nothing to distract himself with. It drives him crazy that it gets to him so much- he's never been dependent on anyone before, and this side of him surprises himself. He hates it, which only stresses him out more. He tries to play it off, but it's very obvious he is struggling with separation anxiety. You don't want to overindulge him, but to ease his fears you decide to get a pair of magical rings. You can make each other's rings glow whenever you want- so if Astarion is feeling lonely, he can make your ring glow and you can make his glow back. Sometimes, just that is enough to get him through a rough day without you. Once he has done some more healing, eventually he will come to enjoy his alone time in a way he's never gotten to before in his life, and as much as you enjoy spending time with him, you'll be so happy for him to finally have that.

[malestransforming]

Chronivac Twins

The moment I saw this AI image, I knew I had to write something. Probably one of the hottest things I have ever seen.

Special thanks to @octuscle for the image inspiration. Here is a link to their original story.

- - - - - - - -

Empty beer cans filled the table in front of the two men. The room was silent, the TV showing the console home screen, and darkness was creeping in from the night. The night was winding down, and the two friends were enjoying peaceful moment before the night truly wrapped up.

Mason breathed a heavy sigh, comfortable in his current state. He was clearly drunk, but happily drunk. He fished around in his pockets, feeling for the recent purchase he had received that day: a brand new Chronivac tablet. He pulled it out of his pocket, powering it on for the first time, watching the screen suddenly brighten, flashing the Chronivac logo. 

“Check it out!” Mason suddenly exclaimed, surprising even himself with his boldness. “I got this new Chronivac in the mail.”

Beside him sat Chris, Mason’s best friend since grade school. Chris was drunker than Mason was, with his eyes closed and his body still, but he too was in happy state of intoxication. 

“Oh yeah? What is that?” Chris slurred from the other end of the coach. The back of Mason’s head was resting on the top of the sofa, leaned back in an almost unnatural position. A massive drunken grin was plastered on his face, highlighting the comfortable state he was currently in.

Mason held up the sleek tablet to an oblivious Chris. A loading screen flashed again as the system booted up. 

“Yeah, it’s a tool that lets me change a part of my body. Actually it will change a part of both of us. They had a deal on the twins package.”

“Cool…” Chris breathed.

“Yeah. I know you have been feeling down lately, so I thought it would be nice to spice things up for you. Plus, you know you’re my bro. We’ve been buds since we were five years old. I figured it was time we made it official.”

Mason began tapping at the screen, swiping at different sliders and dials. There were dozens of different settings with labels like “Hair”, “Muscle Levels”, “Race/Nationality”… Mason balked at the overwhelming choices and options, but forced himself to stay focussed; this was a change he had wanted for a while.

“So I was thinking of doing some kind of mixed race. Hmm. Japanese and Mexican? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. I bet that would look hot. With jacked muscles, like body builders. And since we’re gonna be twins, you’ll get it too. Sound good to you Chris?”

Chris only smiled and laughed to himself, the way drunk people often do. It was clear he was not fully present in the moment. Mason took Chris’ drunken laughter as a sign of agreement and continued with the settings page. He slid up the muscle slider to the max, added jock personalities and details such as personal trainer and fitness influencer. He double checked the ‘Race’ tab, making sure that Japanese and Mexican were both checked off. Pleased with his work, he continued on to the last section, “Target Selection” and “Transform”. He allowed the device a few moments to calibrate before confirming the two bodies in the room. He double checked that the “Twins” button was selected and hovered over the Transform button.

“All right bro. This is it. See you on the other side!”

And with that he tapped the button. The screen went blank for a moment, creating a quick sense of panic in Mason’s heart, but reappeared with a white, animated progress bar.

Mason looked down at his hands and arms. “I don’t feel any different,” he said. 

He checked the screen again. The progress bar had moved up by one pixel and showed a time remaining of 1440 minutes. 

“Oh shoot! I set the transformation duration to be 24 hours. Well that’s okay. When we wake up tomorrow, we’ll definitely see some changes! Next time you see me Chris I’ll be be a huge muscled-out bro. And a completely different race. And so will you! We’ll be twins. Pedro and Miguel. We’re gonna be so fucking hot.”

A gentle and rhythmic breathing came from the other end of the couch. Mason turned his head and grinned at Chris who had passed out on the couch. 

“See you in the morning, Miguel,” he whispered. 

-

Bright sunlight was pouring into the apartment. The morning was late, but the day was still young. Chris stirred on the sofa; he was now lying horizontally on the couch, shirtless and in his underwear. He blinked his eyes in the sunlight, rubbing his eyelids with a balled up fist, and stretching against the soft cushions of the sofa. His broad feet pushed against the far armrest, and his arms stretched off behind him. He sat up, and noticed his first change.

Looking down at his chest, Chris saw his pectoral muscles had ballooned out in front of him to a God-like proportion. He cupped his chest, making note of how his nipple had slipped down below his eye line, and squeezed the new muscle. 

“What the fuck?” He exclaimed. “Why do I have tits?” 

Mason launched himself off the sofa and dove into the bathroom. The flickering fluorescent light clicked on, revealing the extent of Mason’s initial changes. Below his chest were the unmistakeable beginnings of 6-pack abs. Mason ran his fingers over top of his stomach, remembering the slight beer gut that had been there the night before. 

He leaned in closer to the mirror and begin poking and prodding his face. His nose seemed wider and his eyes were narrower. His lips were plumping as well, into two thick pillows. He ran his meatier fingers through his darkening hair; it seemed thicker, curlier and shorter than it had before. He pulled a strand and watched it bounce back into place on his scalp. 

The sound of a door slamming brought Chris out of his trance. He stepped out of the bathroom and back into the main room.

“Bro!” Mason called from the entry-way. “Are you up?”

“Yeah! What the fuck is happening to me?” Chris replied in anguish.

Mason came around the corner and Chris immediately became aware that the changes he was going through were also happening to Mason. Mason appeared to be several inches shorter, and Chris noticed that he was roughly eye-level to himself now. His chest and abs were similarly large and muscled as Chris’ were, except Mason’s shoulders and arms were much wider. Veins pulsed across Mason’ skin and over his bulging biceps. His nose and eye shape seemed strangely familiar, as did the plumpness of his lips. Mason noticed that Chris’ hair was shorter on top with a shaved, faded appearance on the side.

“Mason, what the fuck is happening? I pass out drunk and wake up all top heavy like this! And then you waltz in looking like that! What the fuck?”

“Chill out bro,” Pedro said. “And my name isn’t Mason anymore. It’s Pedro. And your name isn’t Chris, it’s Miguel. You’re turning out to be such a hot twin.”

Chris/Miguel was unable to get anymore words out as sharp pains coursed through his arms and legs. He hunched over, wrapping his growing limbs around his torso. In front of his eyes he saw the muscles in his arms and legs double, triple and quadruple in size, into massive slabs of muscle. His trap muscles ached and burned as the fibres inside re-stitched themselves, growing to match the mass of his arms and chest. Across the room Pedro grinned in anticipation, as his adonis belt thinned out, becoming lean and chiselled, into his tight pelvis and butt. 

“Miguel, we’re going to be so hot!” Pedro’s voice was deeper and more coastal sounding. His jock-instincts were bubbling in his brain, overwriting whatever personality he had before.

“Don’t call me that. My name is Miguel. I mean Chris.” Chris stammered. “How did you even do this?”

“Bro, it was the Chronivac. I told you last night. Just embrace it. I paid good money for this twins package.”

“I need to call them. There has to be a way to reverse this.” 

With a wide stride, Chris/Miguel walked over to where his phone was, but doubled over as a burning pain seared through his stomach. He squeezed with his hands, feeling the muscles underneath swell and grow under his touch. Before his eyes his abs went from flat and empty to being completely ripped. His waist got tighter as his adonis belt and hip muscles also tensed and flexed, just like Pedro’s had.

“Bro, I have a six pack!” Chris exclaimed, his voice cracking as it matched the timbre of Pedro’s.  

“They match mine, bro!” Pedro said.

Chris shook his head. If he could just call the company and explain what the problem was, then he figured he could stop the changes. He found his phone and brought it to his face, waiting for Face ID to unlock. The phone vibrated in his dark and meaty hand, refusing to unlock. In the black mirror of his phone, he saw a completely different face than the one he was used to. His nose was wider, and his jaw was leaner. His eyes had narrowed into Asian-like features and his hair was shorter and darker than before. His face was looking identical to Pedro’s, right down to the plump lips.

In a panic, Chris typed in his passcode and Googled the number for Chronivac. The phone began ringing.

“Hello?” said a voice on the other end.

“Hello, is this support? My name is Miguel, I mean Chris. My name is Chris. I don’t own your product, but my brother Pedro — I mean my best friend Mason does. He used the Chronivac on me last night and I woke up with big muscles and my face is looking Japanese and Mexican? And the same thing is happening to him! He says we’re becoming twins. This has to be against your Terms of Service! I didn’t agree to this.”

A dark skin spot formed on the back of Chris’ hand, spreading across his skin and up his bulging arms. His skin was darkening, to match his new ethnicity. 

“It sounds to me like it might be too late to intervene. Our records show Pedro and Miguel Watanabe.”

“That’s right,” Miguel interjected. He was Miguel, not Chris.

“Yeah,” the agent continued. “So your brother got the Twins Package, and since you are legally twins now, there’s nothing that can be done to change back the transformation. But it’s going to be great being a pair of super hot Latino-Asian influencers, right?”

“Yeah,” Miguel replied absent-mindedly, and in a voice that was deepening. “Thanks anyway. Peace.” 

He hung up and tossed the phone aside. Pedro wandered over and wrapped his hand around his twin brother’s shoulder. 

“It’s at ninety-nine percent,” Pedro said, indicating the transformation process on the Chronivac. 

Miguel felt another spasm in his thighs and legs and saw his skin was now completely browned and tanned now. His legs were thick and bulging, and so was the rest of his body. A wave of emotions came feelings rolled over his brain, and Miguel stood silently in place as his brain and personality adjusted to match his new physique. Pedro stood still for a moment too, as the twenty-two year old twins realized they could speak English, apanese and Spanish and had a long history of lifting weights and posting work-out videos on TikTok. The transformation progress bar clicked up one last pixel to one-hundred percent, snapping the twins out of their daze. 

“Bro,” Pedro said. “You wanna get a workout in?”

“You know it!” Miguel said, high-fiving his twin brother with a grin. 

[midastouch013]

Prank Back

Summary: Natasha plans to take revenge on your hickey prank with a break up prank, but what happens when the tables are turned?

Warnings: Mentions of break ups, sad Nat for a brief time. Y/n is a prank master, as usual

Can be read as a sequel to Hickey Prank Backfire, or as a stand alone too

---------------

Natasha Romanoff sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were narrowed, and her lips formed a smirk . The hickey prank that you had pulled on her a few days ago had left her determined to get her revenge. Natasha was known for being a master of espionage and a skilled prankster, so she couldn't let this go unanswered.The apartment was cloaked in an unusual tension as you stepped through the door, Natasha Romanoff perched on the couch, her demeanor unusually solemn. A frown etched your features as you approached her, the worry evident in your voice.

"Nat, what's wrong?" you asked, your tone laced with concern. "Did something happen on the mission?"

Natasha sighed heavily, her gaze fixed on some invisible point in the distance. "We need to talk," she said, her voice low and serious.

Your heart skipped a beat at her tone, and you took a seat beside her, worried about what she wanted to say "Talk about what?"

She hesitated, her expression betraying the turmoil within. "Y/N, I think we should break up," she finally said, her voice steady but carrying an underlying sadness.

Your heart sank at her words, confusion clouding your thoughts. Break up? This was the last thing you expected, and you struggled to process the sudden turn of events. "Break up? Why?"

Natasha's eyes softened, filled with a mixture of sorrow and determination. "I just don't think we're on the same page anymore. It's better if we go our separate ways."

A knot formed in your stomach, the shock of her words threatening to overwhelm you. Natasha, the one person you never imagined being without, was talking about ending things between you. But even in the midst of your confusion, a flicker of suspicion crossed your mind.  She was pranking you, to get back for the hickey one you pulled on her.

Playing along, you tried put on what looked like a forced smile. "Is there someone else, Nat?" you asked, your voice trembling with uncertainty.

She shook her head, her eyes filled with sadness. "No, it's not about someone else. It's about us and where we're headed."

Feigning acceptance, you nodded slowly. "I understand," you said, your voice barely audible. "I've been feeling the same way too."

A look of panic flashed across Natasha's face, her carefully constructed plan beginning to unravel. "You have?"

You nodded again, internally smirking. "Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to say anything, but I've been thinking about it too."

The panic in Natasha's eyes grew more pronounced, her mind racing to find a way to salvage the situation. "Y/N, I… I didn't expect you to take it like this."

You shrugged, masking your internal laughter with a facade of calm. "It's probably for the best," you said, forcing the words out. "We'll both be better off apart."

As you stood up, pretending to gather your things, Natasha's desperation reached a higher level. "Y/N, wait! Maybe we can talk about this…"

But before she could say anything more, your phone rang, breaking the tense silence. With a glance at the caller ID, you saw that it was Kate Bishop. An idea sparked in your mind, and you answered the call.

"Hey, Kate," you said, your voice laced with tension.

Kate's cheerful voice came through the line. "Hey, Y/N! We're going out for drinks with Yelena and Wanda. You in?"

Playing along with the reverse prank, you used a code word to signal Kate about your fictional exit strategy. "Sounds good, Kate. Count me in. By the way, can I crash at your 'jelly' place for a few days?"

Kate chuckled on the other end. "Sure thing, Y/N. I've got plenty of room."

As you ended the call, you turned back to Natasha, who was watching you with a mix of confusion and panic. " I'm going out for drinks with Kate, Yelena, and Wanda," you announced, enjoying the bewildered expression on Natasha's face. " I'll be back tomorrow to get my stuff"

Natasha's eyes widened in disbelief, her mind struggling to process the sudden turn of events. "Drinks? Y/N, you can't be serious."

You nodded solemnly, "Yeah, Nat. I need some time away to clear my head. Oh, and I'll be crashing at Kate's, so you don't have to worry about me bugging you till  I get my own place"

The color drained from Natasha's face as she stammered, "Crash at Kate's? You're really leaving?"

With a dramatic flourish, you headed for the door, relishing in the chaos you had created. "Well, maybe it's for the best. You wanted to break up and there's no way we can stay in the same place, and Kate's a good friend. I'm sure she won't mind."

As you stepped into the hallway, leaving Natasha in a state of confusion, you couldn't shake the twinge of guilt that tugged at your conscience, because of last time. However, you knew the prank was all in good fun, and you couldn't resist the opportunity to turn the tables on Natasha in the most unexpected way.

So, rather than heading out for drinks with Kate, Yelena, and Wanda, you decided to make a detour. A quick stop at the local convenience store allowed you to pick up Natasha's favorite ice cream, knowing that a sweet treat might help soothe the aftermath of the elaborate prank.

A few minutes later, you returned to the apartment, holding a pint of Natasha's beloved ice cream. The once-confused expression on Natasha's face had transformed into something more profound—an amalgamation of surprise, relief, and a hint of vulnerability.

"Change of plans," you announced with a warm smile, though concern flickered in your eyes. "I thought we could use some ice cream instead of drinks."

Natasha looked at you, her features betraying a mixture of emotions. "Ice cream? What happened to going out with Kate and the others?"

You handed her the pint, but this time, the playful banter was replaced by a sense of understanding. "I knew you were pulling a prank, Nat. So, I decided to play along and spice things up a bit."

A shadow passed over Natasha's eyes, a momentary vulnerability surfacing. "You knew? From the beginning?"

You nodded, the mischievous glint in your eyes replaced with a genuine concern. "Yeah, I had a feeling. But I wanted to make sure this prank didn't take a toll on you."

The weight of the situation became apparent as Natasha accepted the ice cream, her usual composure momentarily shaken. As you settled onto the couch together, the air was thick with unspoken emotions. Natasha, typically unflappable, now looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

Concern etched your features as you reached out to her. "Nat, are you okay?"

She hesitated, a vulnerability in her eyes that you rarely saw. "I… I didn't expect it to go this far. I thought it was just a prank, but… it felt real."

Gently, you squeezed her hand, offering reassurance. "It's okay, Nat. Pranks are meant to be fun, not distressing. Next time, I'll stick to dying your hair as a prank, and you're welcome to dye mine"

Natasha's expression softened "Well, aren't you the hero I never knew I needed? Saving me from the perils of my own pranks."

You couldn't resist adding a touch of humor to lighten the mood. "I aim to be the prank rescue squad. It's a niche market, but someone's gotta do it."

She shot you a sardonic smirk. "Oh, lucky me. I've got the best sidekick in the business."

You chuckled, nudging her gently. "Sidekick? Please, I prefer the term 'prank aficionado.'"

She raised an eyebrow, deadpan. "Aficionado? Fancy. I'll make sure to put that on your superhero business card."

"Absolutely. Don't forget to add 'Master of Deception' and 'Ice Cream Enthusiast,'" you quipped.

Natasha pretended to ponder this for a moment. "Well, at least you're setting realistic expectations. I appreciate that."

"Oh, always keeping it real," you replied, a grin playing on your face.

She shook her head, a smirk tugging at her lips. "You know, most people have normal relationships. But not us. No, we're out here mastering the art of pranks."

"Well, normal is overrated. Besides, where's the fun in predictability?" you teased.

Without a word,  you leaned in towards her lips, the smirk turning into a smile as you shared a sweet kiss.

She was still definitely pranking you again, but for now,

Natasha: 0 ; Y/n: 2

--

[7ndipity]

Their S/o Has A Meltdown

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would react to their Autistic/Neurodivergent S/o having a meltdown

Warnings: Mentions and depictions of meltdowns/panic attacks and being overstimulated,

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! As usual I want to put my disclaimer that these are based off my own knowledge and experience, so these might not work for everyone, but I hope they still bring you some level of comfort, whether you're ND or not!💜

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: As I said before, I think he’d be really good at reading your cues and knowing when you’re getting overwhelmed and helping de-escalate things before you reach full meltdown, but he knows they’re unavoidable sometimes. He’d definitely want to hold you if you’re okay with being touched, reminding you that you’re okay and that he's got you. Starts telling funny stories about him and the members to distract you, increasing the absurdity of the details til something makes you laugh. Makes sure you hydrate and rest afterwards, cuddling till you fall asleep.

Yoongi: He would be quiet but so reassuring, sitting with you and helping try to guide your breathing till you’re calmed enough to talk with him. He would have your favorite calming playlist saved so he could play it whenever you need. He’s glued to your side for a while after, he takes looking after you very seriously at times like this, because he knows you’re usually exhausted both mentally and physically. He’d help you change into some comfy clothes and tuck you in bed or on the couch with your favorite show/movie to help you relax.

Hobi: As soon as he sees you getting panicked, he’s making sure the space around you is as quiet and comforting as possible, closing the curtains, bringing you any comfort items you might have, etc. Hugs you and rubs your back if you’re okay with being touched. Tries to keep his voice light as he talks you through it, cracking little jokes here and there to try and make you smile or laugh. Super gentle and sweet with you once you come back down, giving you lots of reassurance and praise as he settles you in the bed to recover.

Namjoon: The biggest protective teddy bear during meltdowns, keeping his voice low and soft as he comforts you, holding your hands so you don’t hurt yourself. Another member who would have a special playlist of songs that he knows help calm you. Starts talking about one of your special interests to help distract you and give you something positive to focus on. Stays close to you for a long while afterwards, talking through what triggered you if you’re comfortable sharing, and making sure you’re resting comfortably.

Jimin: He does his best to watch out for your signals so he can de-escalate meltdowns where he can. If you’re alright with being touched, he’ll bundle you up in his arms and hold you for as long as you need, rocking you both back and forth gently. If music helps calm you, he would hum and sing till his voice gave out if it meant you felt better. If it’s a really bad one, he lets you cry while he rubs your back and shoulders. Once the worst of it passes, he moves you to the bed or couch and tucks you under a weighted blanket to make you feel extra secure.

Taehyung: Would pull you close and rock or sway with you, if you’re comfortable with being touched. If not, he’ll sit with you and help talk you through it, speaking gently and reminding you that you’re safe, that you’re not alone, and that he’s there for you. He’s super sweet and reassuring, praising you for steadying your breathing and calming down. He won’t pressure you to talk if you’re uncomfortable, but he would want to know what triggered you so he can help better next time. Cradles you to his chest and hums to you while you recoup or fall asleep.

Jungkook: He would definitely want to hold you, but he knows that’s not always an option at times like this, so he’ll just sit with you, talking softly and helping you balance your breathing out. Holds onto your hands both to help ground you and to keep you from hurting yourself. If you like deep pressure tho or weighted blankets, he’s all over it, holding and hugging you as tightly as possible. Makes sure to tell you how well you did and how proud he is of you, sticking close the rest of the day and making sure that you rest and recover properly.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[virtualreader]

silver blade

deanwinchesterxfem!reader

summary: reader heroically kills a shapeshifter to save Dean, but not without getting hurt in the process. When the blood covering the reader's hands, nearly triggers a panic attack, Dean is quick to comfort her.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: gore, not natural creatures (if u know, u know), anxiety, panic attack, blood, grotesque killing, wounds, emotional shock. could be read as romantic or platonic.

a/n: i live for hurt/comfort fics. also, i thrive on feedback, so don't think twice and send me some! constructive criticism is also welcomed!

"Dammit, Dean," you cursed under your breath as you tried calling Dean, only to be sent straight to voicemail once again. To say you were exasperated was an understatement. You couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that was starting to creep up on you. “Where the hell are you, guys?”

As little as a single missed call was enough to seed concern within you. One—they had probably walked into a crowded bar. Two—Dean had most likely found a chick worth flirting with. Nine in the span of two hours? Nine voicemail messages and no sign neither of the brothers were still alive? Now that was downright worrisome.

You slid the combination 11-02-83 into the lock, and it opened immediately with a subdued click. You had been with the Winchesters long enough to have figured out the access code to the weapons compartment. Nonetheless, you were still finding your feet in the supernatural world, not having ever seen any of the creatures you read about.

With one hand, you scrambled to lift the bottom of the trunk, gaining access to the secret compartment John had built in the '67 Impala Dean insisted on nicknaming baby.

If there was anything you had a grasp of, it was lore beyond doubt. Therefore, you sifted meticulously through the vast array of weapons until you finally laid your eyes on the one you had been seeking—a glistening silver knife, ornately engraved. Legend has it both silver bullets and silver-bladed weapons were lethal to shapeshifters, the very creature Sam and Dean were after.

As you became aware of your scarce fighting skills, you hesitated for a moment and second-guessed your brash decision to defy the blunt order to stay in the motel the Winchesters had given you. Instead of backing down and following said instructions, you headed towards the nearest sewer cleanout driven and determined, and trawled the cover aside with great effort.

With the silver knife in hand, you descended into the sewers, climbing down the rank, rusty ladder, diligently making it to the bottom. You jumped off onto the ground, which you found to be swamped with turbid water. Or at least that was what you hoped the muddy puddles soaking your feet up to the socks were.

The air was humid, and the sewer halls were silent except for the rhythmic dripping of leak drops splashing on the concrete. You took a deep, shaky breath, wondering how Sam and Dean managed to remain level-headed during hunts, especially given the unforeseen aftermath.

You were undoubtedly scared—terrified even. You bore in mind all the plausible deadly outcomes facing a creature as powerful as a shapeshifter entailed. Yet, not even that did withhold you from sacrificing your own safety for the sake of the two boys who had become your family over the past year.

You were willing to pay your weight in blood if it was their lives at stake. Without them by your side, life would only be reduced to a meaningless solitary existence. So you might as well devote yourself to wrestling them from the peril you sensed they were in.

You crept through the dark, dank sewers, your grip on the silver knife tightening with each step, refraining it from slipping from your moist trembling hands. You couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was watching you, lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce at any moment.

The stench was overwhelming, and you had to cover your nose with your free hand to avoid gagging. But you knew that giving up was not an option. You had come too far to turn back at this point.

You dropped your gaze to the concrete beneath your feet, scrutinizing the ground in search of any signs indicating Sam and Dean’s whereabouts.

One, two, three blood droplets stained the cement and left behind a vague trail. It was a somewhat chilling sight, and your thoughts immediately went to the possibility of the guys being wounded.

Barely a few feet before you laid a mucilaginous shred of skin. Next to it was a clump of dark hair, matted and tangled, still attached to its corresponding patch of torn skin. You shuddered at the realization that those gruesome remnants irrefutably belonged to the shapeshifter.

Faint grunts died out in the distance. It sounded human, and you recognized them as Dean’s. You tensed up, gripping the small bladed weapon steady in your hand.

With an adrenaline rush pumping through your veins, you crept towards the direction of the sound. The grunts grew louder, and you could now hear the pained sounds of Dean's voice as clear as day. Your heart leaped into your throat, and you picked up the pace, sprinting through the dark corridors.

You skidded to a stop as you came upon the scene. Eyes narrowed and brows raised, you did your utmost to wrap your head around the commotion you witnessed before you.

Sam laid sprawled on the floor, his mouth stuffed with a smudge rag. There was sweat and blood coating his face and clothes and his chest inflated and deflated frantically as he struggled against the plastic flange restraining his wrists.

Your attention then turned to Dean, who was pressed against the wall with his body tense with pain and fear. There was another loud thud, the broad creature gripping Dean's jacket collar tossed him onto the ground, the sound echoing throughout the sewer's hallways. Dean gasped in pain, and your heart sank even further at the sight of his helplessness.

“Y/n…get outta...here...” he spoke falteringly in a hushed tone when he registered your presence.

You followed his gaze, and your eyes locked with the shapeshifter's dusky ones. The creature’s features were practically indistinguishable under the dim light seeping through the storm drains, yet the illumination was sufficient for you to discern its current shape.

It was not human, you acknowledged that fact in its entirety. But it sure resembled a person, and not just any person. The shapeshifter, whose eyes were currently fixated on your unnerved shaky figure, had taken on Sam's form with such accuracy it left you utterly bewildered, propelling your mind into an insurmountable surge of confusion.

Its gaze was intense, almost otherworldly, and it seemed to be studying you with a cold detachment that sent shivers down your spine. The shapeshifter seemed to be waiting for your next move, but you froze, clueless as to how to act in the face of his defiant demeanor. And with each passing moment, the pressure mounted, threatening to engulf you in a tidal and paralyzing wave of haze and dread.

You felt compelled to pin your hopes on your self-reliance in order to beat the creature down. After mustering all your courage, you leaped to Dean’s defense. Without hesitation, you charged forward, brandishing the silver knife that you had retrieved from the Impala's weapons compartment.

The smug laugh of the shapeshifter only fueled your determination to protect the brothers at any cost. You saw red. With a swift motion, you plunged the blade into the shapeshifter's chest, slicing and carving it wide open out of fury, and it let out a bloodcurdling screech as it fell to the ground, lifeless.

What seemed blatant moments ago became now an incertitude, as you saw what appeared to be Sam's inanimate body on the concrete. Even if the real Sam drew breath a stone's throw away from you, growing ever more relieved as Dean aided in freeing him from the restraints, the thought of having killed the younger Winchester brother eclipsed your brain.

“I’d never peg you as the stabbing type,” joked Dean trying to alleviate the tension in the atmosphere as he helped Sam to get up, earning a sheepish 'thank you' from the younger brother. He then turned his attention to you. “Jeez, y/n, white paint has more color than your face.”

You took a step backward staring down to your hands, absolutely unable to hear what Dean was saying, let alone fathom it out. Blood was all you saw, blood drenching your hands from the very fingertips all the way up to your elbow.

When your only response to his jokes was silence, Dean began to realize that something was off. In a desperate attempt to get you to snap out of your distressed paralysis, he grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you slightly.

You looked at him, trying to discern his worried features through your foggy vision. You felt trapped inside your own mind, unable to break free from the suffocating weight of your thoughts.

"Everything's spinning, De," you muttered as you managed to loosen the knot that had formed in your throat. "Please, make it stop.”

"I promise you—your head is the only thing spinning right now," he said with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. "You did good, y/n/n. You saved my ass back there."

Your usually regular and calmed breathing pattern developed into a shallow, rapid one. You could feel your heart hammering at great speed in your chest, which caused the veins in your neck to throb and made you feel rather light-headed.

"Hey, hey, hey. I've got you. I've got you," Dean whispered, pulling you into a tight embrace not willing to let you fall when he saw you swaying, and losing balance. "Just listen to my heartbeat, okay?"

You hummed in response, utterly unable to voice your distress. You could hear and feel the wallop of his heart, forcefully rapid yet steady and calming, along with the resounding sounds of his voice inside his chest. You clung to him for dear life, feeling his strong arms around you as you kept a white-knuckled grip on his plain flannel.

"That's it. Just focus on that," he reassured you, rubbing his hand up and down your back, your breathing gradually returning to its even pattern. "You're safe now. It's over."

As soon as you were out of the sewer, Dean ushered you to the Impala opening the door for you to enter the back passenger seat. As much as he loved baby, getting her bloodstained was not a problem as long as he got you safe and comfy.

The ride lasted hardly ten minutes, although to your clouded senses it felt everlasting. You made a futile attempt to divert your attention from the dry blood coating your hands to the sparse traffic outside, before your mind was dragged into the abysmal hole of anguish that the earlier incident had dug into your psyche one more time.

Throughout the ride, Sam kept asking if you were okay every now and then, displaying a genuine concern for your well-being. He knew how traumatic the experience must have been for you and wanted to make sure you were coping. His kind words and comforting presence helped soothe your frazzled nerves, even if only slightly.

Truth was you were far from okay. You were grappling with a multitude of emotions that were threatening to consume you, and the weight of your thoughts felt suffocating.

Meanwhile, Dean would occasionally shoot glances your way through the rear-view mirror, silently checking on you to make sure you were holding up. Despite his tough exterior and being kind of rough around the edges, he was quick to show his caring and nurturing side when it came to you.

The car rolled down the highway, the engine humming softly as Dean expertly downshifted gears, slowly bringing the vehicle to a smooth stop in the motel's parking lot.

You stumbled out of the car, feeling dizzy and disoriented. Dean rushed to your side, supporting you with a hand on your back.

"Easy there, champ," he said, concern lacing his voice. "Let's get you cleaned up and patched up, yeah?"

You nodded weakly, grateful for his support. It was then that you noticed the large gash on your forearm, which must have been incurred during the prior wrestling. How could you have missed it before?

The keys clattered as Sam unlocked the door to your assigned room, pushing it open gently. The three of you entered the motel's bedroom, steps heavy as your energy was depleted.

While Sam tended to his own injuries, Dean took you to the bathroom, where he turned on the tap and began to gently wash away the blood that coated your hands and arms. The touch of his fingers was soothing, and you closed your eyes, letting out a sigh of relief as the water washed away the evidence of the shapeshifter's blood.

In spite of his sarcastic jokes, you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Dean was mad. And he had every right to be.

You looked up at him, feeling guilty for disobeying orders and putting yourself in danger. The instructions were clear—stay safe and focus on research. They had let you take charge of the investigation duty reluctantly, let alone get fully involved in the hunting business. But you found it impossible to resist the urge, you couldn’t stay in the motel doing nothing knowing they could be in trouble.

Notwithstanding the potential fallout, Dean didn't scold you. Instead, he patiently led you to the toilet, he retrieved the newly restocked first aid kit and gently placed it on the countertop.

“I'm sorry,” you said in a whisper. "You weren't answering my calls. I got worried sick. I'm sorry."

Dean leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"No need to be, sweetheart," he said softly, tossing his resentment for your disobedient behaviour to the back of his mind. "As much as I hate to admit this, you did what had to be done. You saved us back there."

He proceeded to tend to your wound, his touch light and careful as he cleaned and bandaged the gash on your forearm. You couldn't help but feel grateful for his presence, for his unwavering support and understanding.

As he finished up, he looked up at you with a small empathetic smile.

"You wanna crash in my room tonight?" he asked. "I promise to keep the nightmares away."

You nodded, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.

The knowledge that he was there with you, ready to support you through thick and thin, was a comforting thought. With Dean by your side, you knew you could get through anything.

[talkingparrotkee]

One thing I like about MCU Shuri and also think several people sorely get wrong is that she's the more cool-headed character. She is slower to shout, panic, and anger, being relatively more laidback. Shuri would rather wall up and bury herself in her lab (M'Baku confirms this at Ramonda's funeral, and we see her doing just that in the beginning) before lashing out.

Even Ryan described how T'Challa was more hotheaded to T'Chaka's diplomat, while Shuri was the more cool and laid back one to fiery Ramonda.

We see it in her clothing styles.

We see this in the way she initially approaches things. Two key instances:

The way she first responds and confronts Namor. Shuri is still on defense at the river, but she is less combative or reactive compared to Ramonda. Shuri more quietly assesses and responds to him. Compare this to Ramonda, who immediately fires back and disregards what he says without even checking if it could possibly be true, to which Shuri has to point out some truths by empirical evidence (i.e., Ramonda dismissed him saying only they had vibranium, Shuri gently nudges her, saying he's covered in it, so that cannot be the case). A similar thing happens when she is down in Talokan with Namor. Throughout it all, Shuri kept a leveled head and bit back her tongue to think of solutions, even when things started turning south. She knew how to shut up as well rather than argue him down more (something not many people know how to do).

The way Shuri tried to extract Riri compared to Okoye. For starters, Shuri did not break into bathrooms or bring spears in Riri's dorm - she blended in and used the door. She did not make threats and give an ultimatum either. Shuri just tried to explain the urgency to Riri and draw her out without the use of physical force.

We also see it in her reactions with other characters.

In the first movie, she tells T'Challa to "calm down" when he shouts at her to drive. We also see her not care to fight T'Challa for the mantle, even if it is her birthright (she just wanted to go home and get out of a particularly uncomfortable corset). Instead, she prefers to fight alongside and as support.

Black Panther: "The Black Panther lives. And when he fights for the fate of Wakanda, I will be right there beside him."

Black Panther 2: "I was not trying to save the mantle mother, I was trying to save my brother."

For another example regarding her interactions with characters from Wakanda Forever, Riri is consistently depicted to be the more anxious and is more inclined to lose composure. Shuri, even when she's stressed or overwhelmed too, is often the one to remain composed. Shuri attempts to calm Riri down so she doesn't have a panic attack. Shuri also didn't reply when Riri started snapping at her about the FBI, only calmly working about and mapping out an escape plan.

One last particular example is with Okoye. Shuri is less quick to be defensive or shout compared to Okoye. We see it in the way Okoye commanded her to get in the car, and rather than shout back, she simply uttered quietly, "Why are you shouting at me..." Shuri didn't reply to Riri snapping, but Okoye did not let anything slide, pointing the finger back to her. During this entire exchange, Shuri was quietly observing before cutting in, saying how they needed to work together to get out of their situation.

Black Panther Wakanda Forever was her later in-character out-of-character. In other words, that unrivaled anger and snapping you saw was never her baseline. She's not an angry or vengeful person. That was the point of Ramonda, "Show him who you are," when she was hesitating killing Namor.

It was the result of her character at a breaking point. Shuri was not coping properly and dealing with frustrations she couldn't see her way out of. Shuri was struggling with spirituality. She was trying to know if her family was truly still there. She was trying to find the reason behind her failure and loss. Shuri already began cracking since T'Chaka died (see: Wakanda Files). T'Challa's death just broke her, with her narrowly holding her pieces together.

[maknaeswrld]

a life remembered | l.mh, h.js

wc: 4.6k

genre: soulmate au; reincarnation au; fluff; angst; poly!minsung x reader

cw: primarily Han pov; illusions to suggestive conversation; concert highs; anxiety/panic attack mentions; food/eating mentions; Bee (I feel like they need a warning lol, love them the most); arguing but bc they care (not between the soulmates); please let me know if I missed anything

part one: a life forgotten

Soulmates are a curious thing. Everyone has them, and someway, somehow, they always find each other.

When Lee Minho walked into JYP Entertainment for the first time, Jisung didn’t know what to do or how to react, and looking back on it now, it was comical. Minho was, in Jisungs opinion, one of, if not the most, handsome man he’d ever seen. It had struck a chord in him he’d chosen to interpret as jealousy.

When Chan told him he wanted to include Minho in the group he was creating, Jisung couldn’t decide if he was giddy or nervous. He’d met the other boy twice and couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling that they knew each other. It wasn’t until their third meeting, the first one in an official capacity, to learn the song Chan wanted to showcase, that Jisung realized why.

The small space of the practice room they were designated to made the group circle a tight one, Minho rushing in and dropping to the floor in the open spot between Jisung and Felix, accidentally brushing against Jisung in the process and shooting them both headfirst into a memory both could swear wasn’t theirs.

Water surrounded them in every direction, the sounds of laughter filling the air. The ship rocked gently as the waves pushed it along steadily.

Minho took Jisungs hand, leading him to the edge of the ship. 

“Where is your beautiful mind right now, my love?” 

And although it didn’t feel like he was talking to Minho, and there was no response, Jisung’s smile lit up his entire face, his eyes twinkling in pure content.

“Come back to the group, love. The boys are going to start their whining if you ignore them for too long.” Minho groaned.

Again there was no response, as if a chunk of their memory for this specific moment was still missing.

“You know how your boys can get.” Jisung waved nonchalantly, hand grasping at thin air before the two turned back to join the rest of the crew.

Practice was immediately derailed as they were brought back to the present, everyone looking worried as they surrounded the pair.

“What just happened?” Changbin asked, holding Jisungs shoulder to keep him steady.

“I’m not entirely sure.” Jisung couldn’t stop himself from seeking out Minho’s eyes, which were already on him, holding the softest expression Jisung has ever seen in his life.

“Please tell me you saw the ship too.” Minho whispered, voice unsure, hand grasping Jisungs for dear life and all he could do was nod. Minho started nodding along with him, the two slowly morphing from shock to joy as smiles spread across their faces.

Tears pricked at Jisungs eyes the more the realization hit him.

“We’re soulmates.”

````

Five years. 

In five years, so much had changed for Han Jisung. In just five years he’d met not only the love of his life, but also his soul brothers, a realization they came to some time after the soulmate realization, as Minho and Jisung saw the rest of the members in almost all of their past lives. 

In five years Stray Kids had also risen to a level of fame not one of them had predicted. They were living a life their younger selves could have only hoped to dream of, and they were so beyond grateful and happy to be able to keep doing music together.

But also within those five years, Minho and Jisung had come to the conclusion that something was missing. They were absolutely positive that they were soulmates, of that there was not even a shadow of a doubt, but there were too many holes in their shared memories, conversations that felt one sided, moments in bed with a gap between them that shouldn't be there if they were at peace with one another. But the confirmation that they were missing a piece came in a memory that surfaced much later than the rest, one with Jisung storming up to Minho’s door, fist banging in anger, wedding band adorning his finger but not Minho’s. 

That memory was one of Jisung being angry with Minho and not even knowing who he was, with Minho knowing of Jisung but not knowing him personally, of them both being in love with a person that wasn’t the other. Minho is positive he’d despise cheaters in every life, yet was accused of sleeping with a married person. Neither Jisung, nor Minho could remember Jisungs spouse's name, what they looked like, what gender they were, all they knew was that both of them loved them, and they both loved them as desperately as they love one another, and that was enough to convince them that the piece missing was a third soulmate.

They didn’t know how to go about it, they couldn’t even be allowed to share the truth of their relationship and thousands of Stays were claiming to be each members soulmates daily just for a chance of meeting them. The chances of finding their third and final piece was slim at absolute best. 

People always say trust the soulmate connection and that time would bring them together, but that was hard knowing you couldn’t remember someone you love. 

Han Jisung spent far too many concerts and fan meets searching the crowd in hopes that you’d be there, that he’d finally find you and the trio would finally be complete. Likewise, he’d spent just as many nights disappointed that you were nowhere to be found. With their fame came the higher likelihood of you being able to find them, but that also meant it’d be harder for them to find you. However, Chan and his soulmate, Riley, gave Jisung hope that he would find you.

Lee Minho wanted to find you just as badly, though he looked for you in the mundane. Whilst his partner expected you to reach out via their fame, Minho hoped more for bumping into you on the sidewalk or in a coffee shop, it made him feel more attainable. Minho knew that whilst Riley and Chan made it work, and even Bee and Changbin, there were just as many people that would be scared off by celebrity soulmates as there are seeking them. 

Another concert, another night of Jisung daydreaming about finding you in the crowd and whisking you away after to finally meet you and remember you. Riley gave Chan a knowing glare, the parental figures of the group concerned about their younger friend. Ever since the two soulmates came to the conclusion they have a third one, which isn’t unheard of but is fairly rare, their friends have been doubtful to say the least. 

No one likes seeing the kicked puppy look on Jisungs face whenever someone mentions that maybe there isn’t anyone else out there, or the way Minho gets defensive when they try to talk to him about the possibility of their memories just not having fully solidified yet. Both in the firm belief that five years connected at the hip was enough time to remember everything. But that didn’t stop the worried glances and strained smiles when they’d start talking about their ‘other soulmate’.

“They’re gonna be here tonight.” Jisung stated as if it were an absolute fact.

“You said that last night, Sungie.” Hyunjin muttered.

“Yeah, but I can feel it this time. They’re in the crowd right now, I’m positive of it.”

“Ji, you have an incredible soulmate already, why are you so eager to find another one?” Bee asked from their almost permanent place snuggled into Changbin. “I’m just saying, I can’t imagine dealing with more than one Binnie.”

“They’re not another Minho, they’re mine and Min’s missing piece.” Jisung argued. It was a conversation that felt all too familiar, and every time one of his soul brothers or other lifetime friends make comments, he feels himself getting just a little more hostile but also a little more defeated.

Maybe they were wrong, maybe there wasn’t a missing piece and they truly just haven’t had the best relationship in every lifetime. But Jisung couldn’t bring himself to believe that. Seeing how whole Bee and Bin, and Riley and Chan, were, how they didn’t have memory gaps or questionable moments and conversations, made him feel like there was no other explanation aside from another person to fill the void. It wasn’t like Jisung thought Minho wasn’t enough for him, he wasn’t seeking more from outside their relationship, he loved Minho with every fiber of his being, but he knew Minho wasn’t the only one he’d hold these feelings towards. And Minho knew it too, it was a long conversation to have, one that ended in tears but mutual understanding that they would always have each other and weren’t seeking out this third person for any reason other than them wholeheartedly believing they are also their soulmate.

As the time to go on stage got closer and closer, Jisung felt more antsy. He wasn’t sure why tonight felt different, but he couldn’t stop fidgeting. Minho tried to calm him down, but was just as on edge. 

The concert went smoothly, they always did, but Minho and Jisung both spent far more time engaging towards one specific area than they ever had before. It’s like they couldn’t abandon the section for longer than a few minutes and they always ended up right back there the second they could. Jisung felt better than he had in a long time, adrenaline pumping through his veins and a smile plastered on his face. He felt good, he felt whole for the first time in a long time. Jisung couldn’t explain it, but that stage was the most at home he’d felt since he first found Minho.

As they said their goodbyes to Stay and made their way backstage, the overwhelming peace Jisung had felt slowly faded. He couldn’t think of any reason why, but as he watched Riley smother his leader with kisses and Bee put his best friend into a headlock, he felt himself growing more numb. 

Minho wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling into his shoulder, relieving the aching feeling sinking in so fast it would have given Jisung whiplash if he weren’t already used to the other boys' affect on him, body and mind. Jisung could feel giggles bubbling up in him with each soft kiss placed on the base of his neck.

“You were radiant out there tonight, my love.”

“And you were very sexy.” Jisung giggled.

“Hey now! There are children present!” Riley scolded, breaking away from Chan to cover Jeongin’s ears. “Go foreplay somewhere else.”

“Yeah!” Bee shouted from Changbin’s back. “There’s dressing rooms for a reason!”

The look of absolute dismay Riley shot Bee was priceless, “That’s not what the dressing rooms are for.” 

“It’s not? Did you know that bro?”

Changbins ears were red. “Please don’t call me bro while talking about this.”

“How about we just all get showered and changed and go grab something to eat?” Chan suggested in a tone that left no room for argument, clapping his hands together and pulling Riley back towards his body. “And stop babying Innie, he’s worse than Bee these days.”

“I will never stop babying my baby, but I am hungry.” Riley muttered in agreement. “If y’all take too long in the shower, we’re leaving without you.” Riley pointed at Bee and Changbin, who’s ears somehow got even more red. Bee just winked at their best friend, shiteating grin plastered on their face.

Twenty minutes later, Jisung piled into the van with his bandmates and additional soulmates, Seungmin and Hyunjin discussing what they wanted to eat whilst Felix snuggled into Bee’s side, the two looking at memes while Changbin pouted.

Jisung felt more drained than he had in a long time, his social battery past empty and moved on to completely fried. Minho pulling him into his side eased some of the anxiousness starting to well up.

“No panic attacks after amazing shows.” Minho whispered.

Jisung buried his head further into the other mans neck. “I’m trying.”

“I know.” He kissed the crown of his head gently, smiling softly while tightening his hold. “I’m seriously so proud of you.”

The ride was uneventful out to the opposite side of the city, in hopes less people would recognize them so they could have their meal in peace. Minho and Jisung were the last of the group to venture out of the vehicle and towards the restaurant. They didn’t get too far before a voice rapping along to Han’s part to All In stopped them dead in their tracks.

“Y/n, please, you’re in public.” 

“You’re wasting your breath, you know how they are about their spotlight songs.”

Han’s eyes landed on the person rapping his line with such ease it was as if they’d written it themself. He felt excitement flood through him instantaneously, rushing over and joining them, singing along to the song playing quietly in the outdoor speakers overhead.

He watched your eyes light up as the two of you sang along together, ignoring your friends and focusing on one another. Not a thing in the world was registering to either of you as you both turned to Minho, watching as he rolled his eyes, smile already playing at his lips, joining in for the last parts of the song.

Your laughter filled the air as the song came to an end, and Jisung could swear it was already becoming one of his favorite sounds. 

“Took you long enough.”

Your voice was laced with amusement.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“You know I don’t like singing by myself.” You nudged his shoulder lightly, causing him to wrap his arm around your shoulders and squeeze tight.

“But your voice is so nice!”

A blush lit up your cheeks in an instant, mouth opening to respond when someone clearing their throat behind you drew the groups attention.

“Y/n, um, what?”

“Min! Sungie! Hurry your asses up or we’re gonna eat without you.” Bee shouted from down the way, drawing Jisungs attention just long enough for you to slip out of his hold.

By the time he or Minho could focus back on you, you were gone. No trace of a person having been standing with them, as if you’d been a figment of their imagination.

“Sungie…”

“I know.”

“That was…”

“Yeah.”

Minho was staring off into the direction you had to have gone in, itching to run after you. Jisung stared at his hands, in disbelief that just moments prior he was holding the final piece of his puzzle in those same hands.

You, the random stranger unabashedly performing one of their songs in the middle of the street, were the one person Jisung and Minho had been looking for incessantly. The person they knew they couldn’t remember. 

“Do you ever wonder what we’d be like if we didn’t find each other? What’d it’d be like if we don’t keep finding each other?”

Jisung was used to thinking these types of questions, but hearing you ask them out loud hurt more than him thinking them ever did.

“I’d rather imagine we’ll always find each other.” Jisung grumbled, tightening his hold on both of the bodies on either side of his.

“Okay but what if-”

“There are no what if’s, my love. We’ll always find one another, in every lifetime, even if some take a little longer than others. I don’t see a reason to dwell on the impossibility of not ending up right back here every single time.”

You snuggled deeper into Jisungs chest, hand squeezing Minho’s.

“I suppose you’re right.” You mumbled. Minho squeezed your hand comfortingly in response. 

Jisungs arms shifted entirely around you, squeezing as he rolled over to toss you in the middle, both of your soulmates wanting to hold you close. You sighed in content, snuggling into your boys happily.

“I am so dead serious right now, you two. We will absolutely eat without you if you don’t- why do your faces look like that?”

“We found them.”

“Found who? Why are you being cryptic.”

“We found our other soulmate.” Jisung said.

Bee’s mouth dropped open and within moments all of their brothers and Riley were there, bombarding them with questions.

“Okay, so is no one surprised that they actually have another soulmate? Is that just me?” Hyunjin said, a smack from Seungmin following shortly after. 

“Which direction did they go? We need to find them!” Jeongin said, already shifting from one foot to the other as if he were ready to sprint in any direction in a moments notice. 

“We didn’t actually see what direction they went in because somebody distracted us.” Jisung glared at Bee.

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m hungry and didn’t know.” They huffed.

“We were facing that way so they definitely couldn’t have gone in that direction.” Minho cut in, knowing a grumpy Jisung and a hangry Bee is never a good combination. They loved each other like siblings but damn could they argue until they both turned blue.

“Alright, everyone pick a direction and let's find our boys’ soulmate.” Chan said, “Go in pairs and meet here in one hour, no exceptions. Even if everyone comes back empty handed, we have to at least try.” Turning to his first and last children, his eyes and tone softened. “Is there anything we can use to recognise them?”

Jisung immediately jumped into a full description, followed by Minho simply saying, “Ask if they know ‘All In’. They were singing it with us just now.”

Nods all around as people started pairing up.

“Okay, I’m going with Ji.” Riley stated, looping their arm through Jisungs. “Channie, you take Min. Bin and Bee, separate. I am not dealing with soulmates getting distracted and off mission right now.”

Before Jisung could even think about protesting, he was being swept away by Riley in the first direction he would have guessed you ran in. Jisung struggled to keep up with the pace set by Riley as they ducked into shops and restaurants, checking bathrooms and fitting rooms as they went. Riley wanted to cover as much ground as possible in the one hour timeframe given, which Jisung was appreciative of. However, Jisung hoped Minho and Chan were having better luck, or anyone else for that matter.

He wanted to find you more than anything. Knowing he had you in his arms was enough for him to get addicted to you, and if he stopped for a moment and focused on his memories, he was sure you were already fitting yourself into almost every single one..

Every one sided conversation suddenly being completed, all those nights spent with an unnecessary space between himself and Minho being filled by you. Your presence for those four minutes he got with you had already led to a downward spiral of need to be close to you, to hold you in his arms once more.

In combination with the presence of you in old memories, as if you’d always been there, there was also a small onslaught of new memories, ones without Minho but including you. Ones that further solidified your rightful place within his life.

As another memory flashed behind his eyes, he took a seat on a bench outside of a small corner store.

“Are you okay?” Riley asked, always a mother hen.

“I’m fine, just, check this one without me, I need a moment.”

Riley seemed to understand and didn’t ask questions as they pat him on the back and wandered into the store.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” A voice whispered in your ear as hands made their way around your waist. “Because I feel like we’ve met before and I’d like to get to know you again.”

You could smell the stench of alcohol emanating off the stranger feeling you up in the middle of the dance floor. Rolling your eyes, you ripped his hands off you, turning around and shoving him back for safe measure. 

“I do believe in soulmates, and you sure as hell ain’t mine. But the guy who is doesn’t really take kindly to strangers touching what's his.” 

Before the idiot could open his mouth again, Jisungs arm slid into place across your shoulders, pulling you in for a downright make out session right in the middle of the bars dance floor.

When he finally pulled away, the dude was nowhere to be seen.

“Took you long enough.” You said teasingly.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” He smiled gently, and then led you to the booth he’d been watching you from.

You shook your head as you splashed water on your face in the bathroom, your best friend, Lia, pacing behind you.

“I thought you wanted to avoid them?”

Lia was the only person you’d confided in after coming to terms with the fact that your soulmates were not one, but two international superstars.

“I did, but, I don’t know. It was like being like that with them was so natural I didn’t even register that we don’t know each other. It felt right.”

“Do you think they know?”

Sighing, you lightly tapped your head against the wall, eyes squeezed shut. “I don’t know. If they don’t yet, we’ve met now, it’s only a matter of time before I start filtering into their memories.”

“Do you want to keep hiding from them? Y/n/n, they know now, there’s no avoiding them not remembering you anymore. Don’t you think avoiding them now will just cause unnecessary pain?”

“I know that! I do. But, I’m not sure I could handle being in their world, and what if they end up resenting me for ruining the good thing they already had? They’ve been together for so long, and then I just blindside them with my existence? What if they didn’t even know they had a third soulmate?”

“Then they do now and they’re probably looking everywhere for them. Those two don’t seem like the type to resent you for coming into their lives, but they might if you enter it just to disappear forever. I get the feeling now that they know, they’ll never stop looking for you. Do you understand that?”

You opened your mouth to answer when the door to the bathroom swung open.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just looking for someone.” The stranger looked flushed, as if they’d been running, but even so you could tell they were stunning. “Um, neither of you happen to know the song All In, do you?”

You and Lia shot each other confused but nervous looks, which seemed to be enough for this stranger who finally let the bathroom door shut behind them, leaning against it and eyeing you both.

“So which one of you is the runner?”

“What do you mean?”

“One of you just met your two soulmates and then booked it while they had their backs turned, which was it?”

Lia threw her hands up in defense, pointing at you in the process and backing up.

“Traitor.” You mumbled, causing her to stifle a laugh.

The stranger blocking the exit landed their gaze on you, “I ran too.”

Of all the things you were expecting them to say, that was definitely not on the list of possibilities.

“It’s scary,” They continued, pushing off the door and walking towards you. “But the separation is worse. I promise you, it’s better than you can possibly imagine. The company takes good care of us, and while we aren’t allowed to be public, we go pretty much everywhere with the boys if we want to. They don’t do anything to risk our relationships.”

“I’m sorry but, who are you and what do you mean by our?”

“Oh! I’m Riley, I’m Chan’s soulmate. And Changbin found his as well, their name is Bee. I went through the running and being scared of falling for someone in the industry but Bee was already in the industry themself when they found Bin, so it was slightly easier for them. Sorry, I’m rambling, but my point is we’re both here for you and we both understand how you’re feeling. And that those men you just left in the dust are two of the best I’ve ever met, and they’ve been looking for you for a long time.”

That comment shocked you to your core. 

They’ve been looking for you.

“How could they be looking for me, they couldn’t have even known about me.”

Riley seemed to hesitate. “To be honest, none of us believed them. For a while we really just assumed that they found each other at such a young age they’ve never experienced anything but one another, so the whole third soulmate thing was just sort of a way to come to terms with the fact that they wanted a change of pace or something. But, here you are, and we stand corrected. 

“They may not have known you, or known how to find you, but they’ve been searching for their ‘missing piece’ about as long as I’ve known them.” Then Riley quirked their head in a very parental like motion. “You already knew, didn’t you.”

It was phrased as a question, but was completely an irrefutable statement.

“How long have you known?” Where you were expecting harshness or judgment, you received only the sound of sheer curiosity.

“Almost a year now.” You mumbled, arms wrapping around yourself for a sense of security. 

Riley blanched. “A YEAR?!”

You just nodded. 

“Damn hun, I would’ve lost my mind if I’d known who Chris was for a whole year. How the hell did you manage that?!”

“By convincing themself that Minho and Han were already happy and better off without them, that they’d just throw a hitch in their lives that they didn’t need.” Lia stated, you could practically hear her rolling her eyes at you. Riley’s eyes softened at her words.

Grabbing your hands in one hand, Riley brushed a stray piece of hair out of your face, gently cupping your cheek. “I know exactly how you feel. When I found Chris, I ran too. I didn’t think I could survive his work schedule, the expectations placed on him, all the fans claiming him, but he is so worth every single difficulty and so much more. I know you’re scared right now, and it’s probably worse for you because it’s just Chris and me, but Min and Ji already adore you, they could never be happier without you than they will be with you, I can promise you that much.

“I understand if you’re not ready yet. I wasn’t ready for a long time myself, so if it’s okay with you, I want to give you mine and Bee’s numbers, you can reach out to us with any and all questions, concerns, whatever. Heck, if you just want to use them to get to know us, that’s fine too. I didn’t have anyone to help me, but you have us, we’ll help you all the way. Think about it, okay? All three of you will be so much happier together. You aren’t meant to be apart.”

You felt tears stinging your eyes again. You knew Riley was right, you’d always known you’d be happier with them, but you also knew there was no way for you to get their attention, no way for them to actually find you, now that you had, now that they knew you, you were truly out of logical reasons to avoid taking your place by their sides.

Because soulmates are a curious thing. Everyone has them, and someway, somehow, they always find each other.

next part: a life eluded

a/n: ahhhhhh part two, I feel like it’s been done for a while but I’ve been like nervous about it idk, anyways I hope you enjoyed!! I know it’ll run for at least two more parts with potential for spin off(s) on the others finding their soulmates or even ‘prequels’ of Riley and Chan as well as Bee and Changbin🫣🤭 please feel free and encouraged to leave your thoughts and opinions and also lemme know if you’d be interested in being tagged in upcoming parts? ciao!! 🫶

[777rare]

☀️ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT.2💥

disclaimer :

DO NOT READ FURTHUR IF YOU ARE A MINOR!!

THIS CONTAINS MENTIONING OF seggs and bad words so please scroll if ur below 18+

THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.

I DO NOT PILRIMIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN

Mercury in 1st house natives are very talkative beings lmao🙊

Mars in fixed signs(AQUARIUS,LEO,TAURUS,SCORPIO) won't take anybodys shit no matter what..if somebody ain't treating em right, they're always ready to fight back

Mars in cardinal signs(CAPRICORN,CANCER,LIBRA,ARIES) can control their temper and toleration levels when somebody's acting all shitty but when they can't take it anymore, you're done for.

Mars in mutable signs (PISCES,GEMINI,SAGITTARIUS,VIRGO) will most of the time tolerate ur shit and get pissed off internally. They won't show it although they do sometimes, its mostly always internal. suppressed anger and frustration.

Apollo-venus/neptune folks are very admiring. Apollo-venus/ 8th house people are charming and alluring whereas apollo-neptune/ 12th house people have ethereal or outwardly beauty. Apollo aspecting ascendant are attractive too. Ex: alexia demie has Apollo quintile venus, zendaya has Apollo in 8th house.

Adams-sun/moon/asc/Mc natives have a very masculine character or mascular body in a man's chart ex: Chris evans has Adam's trine sun, Dwayne Johnson has Adam's sextile moon.

people with aura/ascendant in harsh aspects with moon(esp. Square) could mean people sense ur aura/ energy to be "too emotional" or "cold ass bitch" vibe. the tension in these aspects can also manifest according to the placements, degrees and other aspects.

natives with sirene conjunct jupiter could have such a raw seducing energy and lots n lots of it by the way! They tend to have a very mysterious,sexy,alluring touch to them. its like they have this "cremé dé lá cremé" persona blended in them..it's just so fucking hot..I also feel these natives catch too much attention sometimes even when they don't intend on trying to catch anyone's attention. It can sometimes get really annoying for them too.

In your varuna persona chart usually I feel the native is born to gain world wide fame if their sun/moon conjunct asteroid varuna.

Melete-chiron/sun/moon/asc harsh aspects tend to become victims of anxiety disorders, panic attacks. Check the houses and signs to get more insight as well. Ex: zendaya has melete semi square moon and sesquiquadrate ascendant

Lacrimosa in 12th house natives emotions gets overwhelming when they're in bed or at night. These people could feel overwhelmed with grief and sadness at times and cry themselves to sleep

chiron in aquarius/ 11th house, can show a native getting severely wounded or experiencing trauma, anxiety, grief because of online platforms, social media, technology, anything techno like phones,laptops etc.also these natives never have good, honest friendships. It's always fake friends and getting cheated or left out by friends. These natives should be very careful when it comes to making friends as well. Ex: I have this placement and when I was 10 yrs old, my closest friend food poisoned me. still don't know why.

Saturn-venus natives are beautiful but it's somewhat of an energy that's sleeping in them or yet to sprout. These natives need to put in some self love and work to glow up, especially showing themselves love.these natives tend to dislike the way they look or always try to find some flaw in themselves but their beauty will truly shine only when they begin to love themselves and work on themselves more. (Esp. Harsh aspects)

Virgo lilith natives have a very reserved sex appeal. These people tend to be very picky and minimalistic when it comes to their sexual partners.people most of the time assume these natives to have less knowledge about sex but deep down these natives are just crazy internally. You'll know it when you meet a virgo lilith native.🤠💫Aspects and houses can differ too.

I feel like asteroids in special degrees 11°, 22°,0° also have a really strong or special effect on the native.

sun-mercury natives always look younger than their age. The native can also be very childish even after ageing so much.

Planets in Scorpio sign or where your scorpio is placed is where you keep things hidden, out of reach from others or have deep information about. Thats why when scorpio falls on someones ascendant they are seen as very mysterious and secretive. Ex: I have scorpio over 8th house and i keep my sexual life hidden(8H= sex,money,etc), my brother has scorpio in 3rd house and he knows a lot about my past than my mom, and also about the people in our neighborhood(3H= siblings,neighbours), my mother has scorpio moon so she does hide her emotions a lot. My sister has scorpio jupiter and she does lots and lots of researching and has a lot of knowledge about books and countries that most of the people don't know about.not even me🙂.

Pallas-ascendant(positive aspects) natives look wise and mature

Lots of planets aspecting to chiron can show a native who has been wounded so so many times in their life.

Sokrates conjunct neptune or in pisces/scorpio/ in 8th/12th house natives love deep conversations.they hate small talk and just wanna go so so deep.

Pallas conjunct neptune natives have so much spiritual wisdom.

Tone-pluto natives tend to have a raspy,deep touch to their voice.

Asteroids mentioned above :

apollo - 1862

Adams- 1996

Aura - 1488

Sirene - 1009

Varuna - 20000

Melete - 56

Lacrimosa - 208

Feel free to reblog and tag me when you do❤🙌🏻 Hope you all enjoyed. Thankyou.bye!❤ have a great day ahead!🏝☀️

[cherriesncinnamon]

secret / ethan landry x reader

synopsis: ghostface quickly finds you alone, smashing through your apartment to get close to you. under his knife, betrayal from the person you trusted the most was the last thing you expected.

warning/tags: mildly graphic, stabbing, blood, scream 6 spoilers, your bf is a killer.

word count: 500.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

you can hear ghostface’s shallow breaths as he drags the knife across your chest, drawing tiny droplets of crimson. your throat closes up, unable to let any words of pleading out, sealing your fate. the one time your roommates, tara and sam, leave to go to the store is the time ghostface decides to make a star appearance. typical.

after picking up a pair of fabric scissors when he was distracted, you slowly retract them from behind your back, seeing your sudden chance while he fixates on dragging out your torture, wanting to intensify your panic before slaughtering you. firmly gripping the handle, you sink it into his abdomen, putting all of your strength and anger into the pressure of the blade. ghostface tilts his head at you, quickly backing away. you keep hold of your weapon, dread washing over you as he places his gloved hand over the wound, blood running down his fingers.

“you fucking bitch.” he grunts, the whine in his tone familiarising you. you furrow your brow, denial overtaking you for a few seconds, but you know that voice all too well, too well to ever mistake it. you stifle your gasp, stomach dropping to the floor in realisation. there was a reason why your boyfriend always disappeared when you, or your friends, were being targeted by a psychotic killer. you always turned a blind eye. your sweet, innocent boyfriend would never. now, it’s looking like that level of trust will cost you your life. abandoning your safety, you run up to him, clutching the chin of the white mask, and ripping it from his face.

ethan has a huge grin painted on his expression, eyes casted over with enjoyment and darkness. he laughs at your cries, bewildered as to how you hadn’t figured it out sooner. he’d expected so much more or you, you are his partner after all, he chose you. the air thick with silence and deception, ethan takes his knife and plunges it into you at your most vulnerable moment, twisting it far into your stomach to evoke louder screams. your knees refuse to hold your body a second longer, and before you know it, you’re on the floor, writhing in pain, and completely at ethan’s disposal. he towers over you, groaning deeply, composing himself surprisingly well for being drenched in his own blood. 

slumped against your once white wall, he squats down to you height, brown curls stuck to his hot face, chest heaving. you look at him with nothing but fury in your eyes, weakly applying pressure to your worsening wound to postpone your premature death. ethan stares with dark doe eyes, feeling accomplished. you weren’t his original target, yet once he saw your friendliness with his brother’s murderer, he knew you had to go, too. after getting close to you, unfortunately, his adolescent crush overpowered his ulterior motives. he was obsessed with you, and hated you all at the same time.

“it hurts doesn’t it? hm, baby?” ethan taunts, delicately moving your hair out of your face, the blood from his fingers marking your cheek. you have no words to spill, overwhelmed by betrayal, and not willing to gift him an ounce of your energy. he takes off his glove to stroke the tears away from your under eyes, watching in validation as you groan in agony. he places a single kiss on your plump lips, suddenly expressing reconsideration. he’s going to let you live.

“this’ll be our little secret, okay?”

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: What We Did In The Dark {4}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, 18+ Mature Content, Angst, Small Time Jumps, Preggo Talk, Pregnancy Trope, Talk of Pregnancy Termination

Words: 6.2k

Summary: Neither of you planned any of it. You’d met by chance, and everything that happened after had to have been predestined. Now back to your own life, you find you have a special souvenir from your time in Mauritius and you have a tough decision to make.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

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What We Did In The Dark {1}**** | What We Did In The Dark {2}* |

What We Did In The Dark {3} |

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Four: Into The Unknown

-Y/N-

“Ah, Y/N. Welcome back. I am very happy to see you again,” Dr. Olumichi said as she got comfortable in the high rolling stool.

“Are you?”

“Yes of course. I also knew I would see you again,” she added.

“I didn’t even know I would see you again.”

She chuckled, “I’ve been in the business of babies for a long time, and I’ve developed a skill for knowing who will rise to the occasion and who will choose to have more time to get there.”

“It was touch or go there for a week or two,” you admitted.

“But here we are,” Villie finished.

The three of you smiled.

“Right where you were meant to be,” Dr. Olumichi said as she rolled closer.

“This is Villie, my best friend.”

“And babies’ auntie,” Villie filled in.

Dr. Olumichi smiled then shook Villie’s hand. “Nice to meet you Villie. What an interesting name.”

“I promise it’s not short for villian, just to put that out there.

Dr. Olumichi laughed loudly.

“It’s short for Valenza. Here’s my card in case you ever need an attorney who has got your back for your interests and not my own like other attorneys if you know what I mean.”

All your eyes met, and an unspoken understanding sparked between you. She knew just what Villie meant.

“Thank you Villie. All right, so 1st official prenatal appointment. How exciting, yeah?”

You took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah.”

It didn’t sound believable but hey, it was still early.

“Don’t worry. When we get to the main event--,” Dr Olumichi gestured to the sonogram machine. “You’ll be whistling a different tune. Ultrasounds and sonograms are completely different experiences. All right so you are precisely 19 weeks. Welcome to your 5th month. You are practically halfway there.”

“Already? She just started,” Villie chimed in.

“She didn’t. It’s just that she just found out about it because this was a cryptic pregnancy, a definite one especially seeing that they are twins. You’ve gone through the normal time for morning sickness and the drain of energy. The next 2 months are known as the sweet spot of pregnancy, your energy levels out often times you get some energy. It’s known as the most comfortable time before you are too big to move or see your feet. So enjoy this time.”

You nodded and tried to remain present and not panic. As Dr. Olumichi explained what was happening inside of your body with the babies then to your body with you, she went further to explain what you should expect over the next few weeks. As she listed some of the not so cute and fun things to expect your face went from neutral to slightly worried. She immediately noticed and did her best to soothe any worries by offsetting them with more realistic positives.

“You look overwhelmed,” Dr. Olumici said taking a break from information dumping.

You sighed, then took a deep breath. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“I can imagine. However, you are in good hands Y/N. I’ve been doing this a long time and the way I work with my moms to be is in a partnership. You worry about remaining healthy and stress free and taking your vitamins and precautions for your safety and I will handle the rest. I will help ensure that you are ready for what happens in fourish months and immediately after.”

Her smile was warm and her eyes kind and instantly you felt at ease.

“Here at Mom to Be & Baby to Be we are more than just gynecology and obstetrics. I pride myself on this organizations work with really working with mothers and ensuring that they have all the resources and help for this lifetime journey. A more prepared mom is a happier and more successful mom,” Dr. Olumici finished.

“That sounds amazing,” Villie said. “Oh my god, Y/N, she’s amazing.”

You smiled and nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. The remainder of the appointment progressed with Dr. Olumici going over your blood work and levels while explaining any risks that were relevant to you. She then took care with measuring your belly growth as well as the babies inside. When she set up the sonogram machine both you and Villie perked up.

“All right the main event. Another thing to think about is if you want to know the sex of the babies.”

“Of course,” Villie squeaked before you could even process the sentence.

She spun around to look at you then made a “yikes” face. “Yes, right?”

You thought for a minute but just as you were going to say yes you thought about experiencing that moment with Lewis. When you thought that you nearly rolled your eyes into the back of your skull. How in the hell would you experience it with him? He didn’t even know and for all you knew he would probably deny that they were his. You must have remained silent for too long or your face betrayed your conflict because Villie’s hand engulfed yours.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to find out.”

“No um—I was just thinking—yeah we can find out. that would be nice.”

“Are you sure? If you would want to wait for the father or some other time--.”

Villie gasped, “Is that your hang up? That is an option, it could be a good thing to wait for him it could be something to ease the news down.”

You shook your head. “No, no. I want to know.”

“Okay. Then let’s give these movie stars their close up,” Dr. Olumici joked as you grabbed the bottle of gel and stood from her stool.

You watched as she squirted an ample amount of gel onto your protruding belly. It was warmer than you’d expected, and you guessed it had to have been heated. As she approached with the Doppler wand, you tried to calm your rapidly beating heart. You didn’t know if you were excited or nervous. It could have been a mixture of both at this point. You’d accepted your situation, but you didn’t think you’d crossed the threshold of being happy about it.

“Okay, let’s see.”

Your doctor moved the wand over your belly, spreading the gel as she went. The sound in the room amplified and filled making you feel as if you were underwater. Three pairs of eyes were glued to the screen waiting for the first appearance of a little body.

“Hm, there’s aren’t many places they can hide at this stage, but I see they want to play hide and seek.”

Suddenly, empty greyness changed to darker grey imaging and then the room filled with out of sync heartbeats.

“Ah-ha, there they are.”

Villie gasped, covered her mouth, then snapped her head to you.

“There are your babies.”

You gaped at the screen staring at their small bodies and allowing the sound of their hearts to fill you.

“Holy shit. This is real.”

“Oh yeah. This is as real as it gets,” Dr. Olumici said.

She tapped across the keyboard then the image magnified leaving you with a clear image that had now turned from shades of grey and white to amber and honey hues.

“They look wonderful at first glance. Let’s go more in depth though.”

You watched your doctor get a view from every angle imaginable. With each angle change, she tapped across the keyboard freezing the image for a few seconds before moving on. Each new image made your heart slow rather than speed up. It was as if the nerves from before were stilling and dissipating, like before nothing made sense but now everything made sense.

“So as a whole, they look great. They are measuring well. The only thing I see is they are maybe 2 or 3 centimeters off to where I would want them to be, but I will credit you not knowing you were pregnant and the need for some vitamins and a balanced diet. Now that you are aware you are eating for three hopefully they will catch up because in the earlier months is when twins gain their most weight. When the womb becomes cramped, growing becomes tough and uncomfortable. So let’s really aim for 3 full balanced meals and two to three nutritious snacks a day.”

You nodded.

“All right. So—sex?”

“I’m not having any.”

Villie snorted.

“No, no. Do you want to know the sex?”

Biting your bottom lip you thought it over once more. Curiosity was pecking away at you and though Villie was right, if you did tell Lewis about the pregnancy finding out the genders together would be a way to drive it home and or bond over the moment. The debate in your head was annoying because each side of the argument gave good points, however, curiosity won with you each and every time.

“Let’s do it.”

The two other women in the room smiled then focused back onto the screen.

“All right, let’s do it.”

Dr. Olumici took just a few moments and each second that ticked away made your heart pound even harder. This was excitement. When Villie saw a smile on your face she squeezed your hand.

“You’re excited too right? It’s not just me.”

“I’m excited,” you said finally and truly meant it.

“Ha, the easiest inquiry,” Dr. Olumici began with a snort. “These babies are not shy.”

“Wonder where they get that from,” Villie said eying you.

You rolled your eyes and leaned closer to the screen. “What are they?”

“This one on the left is a boy and on the right is his sister.”

Your eyes bugged as an “oof” escaped you. You felt like you’d just gotten a foot to gut but it didn’t hurt.

“What was that!?”

“I just saw it. That would be your daughter asserting herself early with a kick.”

Your jaw dropped. “Oh my god. Really?”

Your doctor nodded as a wave of euphoria washed over you. You remembered this feeling. It was similar to how you felt when you’d gotten the call that a broadcasting channel wanted to pay you to travel officially and put you on every streaming device across the globe. You felt like that but only 100 times better. The kick to the gut came again and again.

“Oh my god.”

“They’re really awake now. Say hello mom.”

You stared at the screen at the two life forms that were growing inside of you with awe and wonderment. You didn’t know they existed a few short weeks ago but now that you knew and had seen and felt them you couldn’t ever imagine going back. You couldn’t believe your situation now. In theory you knew how babies were made and everyone knew that whenever they had sex there was always some chance of one being made but no one ever thought that they would really make one even if they didn’t use protection. Looking back pregnancy was the last thing on your mind that night and now it was the first.

The remainder of the appointment went by in a blur. You went through everything related to the pregnancy and your concerns and fears with Dr. Olumici then made a detailed calendar of appointments and check-ins. By the time you left 3 hours had passed and you were equipped with every kind of tool known to pregnant women support known to the mental health field plus one auntie-godmother who was just as equally on cloud nine as you were.

~~~~~~~~

Now sitting in a corner booth at Cheesecake Factory you were fully indulging your craving for cheesecake with not one but three slices of your faves while staring haplessly at the sonogram pictures of your babies.

“You look so in love,” Villie said.

You looked across at her with a wide smile.

“Cheesecake and a belly full of cute babies. How can I not be?”

She chuckled then sighed. “They are cute. Totally unfair to the rest of society, I mean you see the gene pool. I saw some resemblance in the forehead area.”

You snorted. “You know you not right.”

Villie laughed then took a sip of her drink. “I kid. I kid.”

You sighed then put a large forkful of cheesecake into your mouth. “Think this counts as a balanced meal?”

“No, Y/N, but I think it definitely counts as 1 of 3 nutritional snacks.”

You smiled wide. “I love you.”

“Happy wife, happy life,” Villie teased.

Just then her phone rang drawing both of your attention to it. The smile on her face told you just who it was.

“Go ahead.”

“Hello?”

She sounded like a lovesick freshman who was so under the spell of her paramour that everything and everyone else ceased to exist. ‘When you saw her twirl a thick strip of dark curls around her finger you scoffed. Must be nice, you thought before your mind went back to all those weeks ago when you’d felt anything close to what she felt.

The memory of Lewis’ hand brushing against your cheek sparked a heat inside of you that gently simmered until the memory of his thick thumb slid across your bottom lip. That slow, simmering heat kindled into a mild inferno. The more you remembered from your night together, the hotter you became. Thankfully, before you could fall deep into this dangerous desire you still felt when you thought about him, you felt Villie’s hand on your arm.

Her eyes were boring into you. “Are you all right? Is it—,” she asked dropping her eyes to your stomach.

“No, no. I’m fine. Sorry. I just—zoned out.”

Villie nodded and then brought the phone back to her ear. “Call me when you land. Okay. Bye.”

When she dropped her phone back into her purse, she looked at you.

“Miles come into town?”

Villie nodded but she didn’t make eye contact with you.

“So y’all have a date tonight?”

“Not quite.”

“It’s okay Villie, we don’t have to hang out every night. I will be fine alone. Honestly, I’m not alone anymore,” you said cradling your newly popped bump.

“No, I um—I told him I wanted you to meet him.”

Your eyes bugged then. “You did what? When?”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah. I really want to know what you think of him before things go any further.”

“Villie—.”

“I know. I promise I didn’t bring it up to back you into a corner or anything. I was actually planning for it to happen before you told me about the pregnancy. I’m sorry.”

You took a deep breath and tried not to freak out.

“Don’t apologize. I get it. It’s fine, it’s what we do.”

“So, it’s okay?”

“Yeah. We’ll do a late dinner.”

Villie jumped out of her seat and onto you, throwing her arms around your neck, “Thank you, Y/N. I swear I will take your lead about the pregnancy.”

You smiled and tried to hide the rising panic you felt. Your once hectic but simple life had now turned into a damn episode of Jane the Virgin.

~~~~~~~~~

-That Night-

Though you’d tried to find ways to get out of the dinner you found yourself sitting beside Villie in a cab on your way to Island Gardens restaurant. You could feel Villie’s excitement rolling off of her, but you could tell she was also nervous. She knew you would not be shy about assessing him and letting her know what you thought of him.

You were notorious for being picky about the men she entertained. You always had been ever since the douche from college who had the audacity to ghost her after knocking her up. You refused to let another asshole slip through the ranks especially knowing how much of a catch your best friend was. Any man who intended to even step a pinky toe into her personal space had to pass the test. You didn’t give half a shit if it meant you were called too picky. All it meant was any man better rise to the fucking occasion.

You dropped your hand to Villie’s knee hoping to steady her leg that had not stopped shaking since you’d gotten in the car.

“It’s okay Villie. Calm down.”

She took a deep breath then slowly released it. “What if you don’t like him?”

“V, if he has passed your wards, then I am sure he’ll appease me.”

She snorted then dropped her head to your shoulder. “You’ll like him.”

She sounded as if she were trying to convince herself more than you and you couldn’t help but laugh. You hadn’t seen her like this in a long, long time. It was too cute. By the time the car rolled up to the front of the restaurant, she’d calmed down some, but your nerves were rising. It had taken an hour to find something that hid your belly. Then it took another hour to find something that not only hid your belly but didn’t make you look bloated. The dress you wore now was something you hadn’t worn in a long time, but it did the trick—mostly. You still felt as if it drew attention to your midsection and other parts of your body that were new thanks to baby 1 and baby 2.

“Reservation?”

Then hostess smiled widely showcasing her perfectly straightened teeth and corner dimples.

“We’re meeting someone here,” Villie managed to get out.

“Okay, sure thing. Name please?”

Villie leaned closer and spoke lowly. “Miles.”

The hostess looked at her then you and smiled softly as she tapped the letters into the keyboard.

“Got them. Thea will take you to your table. Have a good night.”

Villie smiled, looped her arm with yours again then walked off behind a gorgeous woman who was tall enough to be a model and so svelte you felt envious because you were so far from svelte now and had no hope of being that way again for many more months.

“Follow me, ladies.”

You pushed the thoughts out of your head and brought yourself back to the moment. When you heard Villie release a small gasp you knew she’d spotted Miles. Seconds later she’d let go of your arm and was in his. You watched as they kissed as if they hadn’t seen each other in months when you were sure it was merely weeks. You thanked the seater then waited for them to finish. However, when they should have finished, his hand slid down to cup her ass. Villie giggled then which triggered his sort of giggle. Part of you felt so happy for her but the other part cringed a little.

“Mm. Oh. Baby,” Villie began turning to you. “Officially meet my best friend in the entire world, Y/N. Bestie this is Miles.”

He had to have been 7 feet tall. Even with you in heels, he was still towering over you. You approached him and shook his outstretched hand, but he pulled you toward him and kissed both your cheeks like some rich cosmopolitan. You were so taken off guard that you didn’t realize the hand you had shaken seconds before was nudged between your bodies and pressing against your burgeoning belly.

Oh shit, you thought as you tried to act normal and not panic because you knew it would bring more unwanted attention. You put distance between you and smiled.

“It’s nice to officially meet you Miles.”

“You too. Valenza talks about you all the time. I feel like I know you personally already.”

You giggled and looked at Villie who was staring at this man like he hung the stars each and every night in the sky. You could not believe the whole switch in her. You’d never seen her like this with someone.

“Same,” you replied with a smile.

The three of you moved to the table and as you got situated you watched how Miles pulled out her seat, made sure she sat down first, then proceeded to make sure she was comfortable. Then he hurried over to catch your seat before you pulled it out for yourself. You thanked him as you sat then watched as he whispered something to Villie that made her lean to kiss his cheek. It was then you knew that by the end of the night, you’d vomit from all this sweetness.

Most guys that Villie had you meet treated the meeting as something casual or something that didn’t mean anything. They cracked weird pedo jokes, freely groped her, and showcased some questionable behaviors that anyone would think were weird. Some even went above and beyond with their efforts to impress you. Some told completely unrealistic stories and flat-out lies that were obvious lies but expected you to swallow them as facts. Rarely did you meet anyone who tried to impress you naturally.

Throughout appetizers, Miles treated Villie like a queen. He fed her food off his plate, made sure her wine glass was never empty, occasionally nudged her, which spoke of an inside joke that she understood. The thing that made you warm a little towards him was how he looked at her when she wasn’t looking at him. He looked at her the way your grandfather looked at your grandmother—full of awe and wonder.

As you moved on to main courses, every time Villie laughed his eyes lit up like Christmas morning. It was adorable. When he began asking you about yourself you gathered he was unlike other men she’d dated. As you told him about your job, hobbies, and stories about Villie that both of you experienced he genuinely looked entertained and interested.

However, it was when his questions about you got more detailed did you know that he was really serious about her. Any man who took the time to get to know his girl’s best friend understood simplistic reasoning and the simplistic reasoning was that this was a test, and the best friend is the end all be all. If she approved then not only would she not be a problem for him, but she would become his ally.

After dinner, which Miles paid for, the three of you made moves to go to another venue but you’d seen enough. You pulled Villie into a hug.

“He’s great. Be happy.”

Her smile was so bright that you had to cringe away from her.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. My only caution is maybe to stay away from deep penetrative positions because his height says you will die.”

Villie screeched loudly then laughed so loud that everyone that was nearby stared.

“Oh my god! Y/N!”

You laughed.

“My mama ain’t raise no bitch!”

You snorted, shook your head then nodded because you knew this caution fell on deaf ears.

“What’s so funny over here?”

“Nothing. I’m going to head out,” you replied.

“So soon? You sure you don’t want to hang? I heard of this cool exhibit tonight,” Miles began.

“No, no, it’s all good. I’m actually a little tired. It’s been a long day.”

“Oh. Okay. It was really good to meet you officially and I’m glad you’re doing better and feeling better.”

“Yeah. Thank you so much for understanding again. I swear I will never rearend you again.”

The two of you chuckled.

“Hey, what are you doing this weekend?”

“Um—uh--.”

“I’m not trying to be weird or anything I swear.”

“Not trying to set up some best friend threesome?”

Miles snorted. “God no. Valenza is—more than enough,” he said staring at her.

From the look they exchanged you knew just what they would be doing the rest of the night.

“And—I don’t think threesomes are recommended in your—condition.”

Your eyes widened as Miles motioned to your stomach. He could tell?

“You can—wait—you—what do you know?”

Miles looked to Villie then you then back to Villie. “Uh—that you’re—pregnant. I’m not judging it’s cool. I mean you can barely tell but I hugged you and then you weren’t drinking or anything so--.”

You looked at Villie who also looked ready to panic.

It’s no big deal. I promise. Congratulations to you. What I meant was that this weekend is the Miami Grand Prix, and I can get you guys in for the VIP experience.”

You felt like you’d heard that from somewhere but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out where or what it was. Maybe it was because it had taken him moments to guess you were pregnant then 2 hours tops to confirm it. The blank look on your face must have been the dead giveaway for him because he chuckled a little.

“Are you a fan?”

“Fan? Oh—yeah totally. That sounds cool,” you said hoping to steer the conversation away from you being pregnant.

“Cool. So tomorrow starts the weekend. You and Valenza can come together, meet up there?”

“Sure.”

Just then your Lyft pulled up and you hugged Villie once more then waved to Miles before you got in. While the car pulled off you waved to them both then leaned back once they were out of sight.

“Oh my god!”

You dropped your head into your hands and proceeded to panic the entire ride home.

~~~~~~~

-The Next Day-

You took another sip from your café cup which held a large pomegranate tea. You were already missing caffeine and everything it brought to your life. Not only were you up not long after the sun came up but you were also dressed and already on the move.

“Are you as tired as I am?”

You took a sip from your cup then sighed.

“I am, but I think we’re tired for different reasons—me tossing and turning and growing two humans, you tossing and turning getting your back, cervix ovaries and soul blown out like a circus acrobat.”

Villie snorted then cackled. The driver glanced into the rearview mirror for a moment then looked back to the road.

“Oh my god. Look don’t judge me. I’m just trying to keep up with you,” she teased.

You rolled your eyes. “Ha-ha-ha!”

Another sip of tea filled you and you groaned wishing it was a large macchiato with an extra shot of espresso.

“Also, hello he sent you a chauffeured car?”

Villie smiled widely then twirled your hair.

“My baby knows how to take care of me,” Villie added.

“My baby? Damn, that was quick. I take it y’all got labels now?”

“We labeled up! That’s my man, he my boo.”

You smiled then nudged her. “I’m happy for you Villie. He seems like a good guy, and I love the way he treats you.”

“Thank you. I’m happy,” she said.

You smiled and looked back at the road. The car zipped by a billboard with the same words Miles said last night, “Miami Grand Prix”. Again something nagged at your brain, something like recognition but it wasn’t quite recognition. It felt like something was blocking the part of your brain responsible for your memory of what it meant.

Ten or so minutes later the car pulled up then stopped.

“We’ve arrived, ma’am.”

After thanking the driver, you and Villie got out and then marveled at the sea of people bustling around. As you joined them and walked toward an entrance you took notice of several people dressed wearing Ferrari, Mercedes, McLaren, and Red Bull items. You knew those brands.

“Villie, what exactly is the Miami Grand Prix? I swear it sounds familiar, but I can’t remember why or how.”

The look on Villie’s face was one of confusion. “I don’t know. I thought you knew.”

“Did you Google?”

“Girl my hands have been kinda busy for the last 12 hours.”

You cringed and shook your head. It was then you saw Miles standing just ahead.

“Hey! You guys made it.”

He hugged Villie then kissed her while babying her as if he hadn’t seen her less than 12 hours ago. You silently prayed this was not what you were in store for all day.

“You guys ready?”

“Yes!”

You had no idea where she’d found this burst of energy when she was half asleep moments ago in the car. The three of you walked on and with every step you took more and more things pointed to what this really was. When a woman passed by wearing a shirt with Lewis’ face you stopped in your tracks.

“Everything okay?”

“Um—this is Miami Grand Prix, racing—F1, right?”

“Yeah.”

Villie’s eyes widened then as it hit her as well. Miles looked at her then back to you and his confusion was evident.

“Is something wrong?”

“Uh--.”

You tried to come up with a reason to leave, or something to say to cover what was really wrong.

“No, no. Nothing is wrong.”

“Okay. Come on, the VIP experience includes paddock access with Mercedes,” he said as he walked on.

Holy shit, you thought. This was bad. This was very, very bad. Seeing no way out that wouldn’t lead to you having to confess you were carrying the babies of the man whose paddock you were on your way to, you proceeded to follow Miles. Every so often Villie looked back at you asking you with her eyes if you were all right. You’d spoken nonverbally long enough to easily pass your panicked message, “Help”.

Just as you were about to pull out your phone and fake a work emergency Miles stopped. “Welcome to the Mercedes paddock. Now Lewis isn’t here right now he’s already getting into his car but after I can get you and introduction if you’re down.”

You and Villie again exchanged quick looks before Miles continued to show you around and introduce you around. After almost twenty minutes you found yourself sitting in front of a TV with the race about to start. That was when Villie shimmied up to you.

“What do we do?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to figure it out,” you whispered back.

“I can come up with an excuse for us to leave.”

“Wouldn’t that be weird? I said I was a fan. Would a fan really get up and leave a VIP experience or a once in a lifetime experience?”

“Hell yeah they would if the VIP experience is with their secret babies’ daddy,” Villie aggressively whispered back.

You chewed your bottom lip even more intently. Then the start of events sound rang out and everyone brought their attention to the largest television in the room. Within seconds, the race began, then cars sped off. You watched in somewhat awe as the controlled chaos of a start turned into the cars forming a neat traffic line. This was your first in-person race. You’d seen a few on TV and watched a lot of recap highlights but this was your first in-person one and the atmosphere was intense. You couldn’t look away from the screen or move a muscle because it was that interesting.

Before you knew it, 20 laps had gone by, and with each lap, the lead changed and when the lead changed so did the line-up. On the 6th lap, Lewis made a swift cut-off and overtook Red Bull for the number 1 spot. Then in the 19th lap, the first collision happened that barely missed Lewis. That had you on your feet so quickly that you nearly lost your balance.

Now you were standing with your hands on your stomach because as soon as the excitement picked up so did the activity in your belly. It was as if they knew their father was once again racing toward greatness. Just when everyone in the Mercedes room was beginning to relax, Red Bull attempted another overtake. The fender of the Red Bull car clipped the bumper of Lewis’ car which sent his car slanting sideways and skidding. Everyone in the room gasped, some even cursed at the brazenness of the Red Bull driver.

However, with the loss of control of his back wheels, Lewis’ car otherwise remained in complete control. He didn’t swerve wildly or burn out, he kept his lead and even managed to block any further attempts to steal his lead. Thinking of the sheer skill that took had your jaw dropped and both your hands cradling your babies—his babies.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

Miles’ voice boomed around the room when Lewis not only straightened out but inched further into a lead.

“Wow,” you marveled as a wave of intense attraction washed over you.

You wanted to do nothing more than to throw yourself on him and lick his neck no matter how sweaty it was and that was just the beginning of all you wanted to do to him. The raw force of that wave bowled you off of your feet and back into your seat. Fuck, you thought. This was not good. You thought you’d moved past this and had gotten it out of your system. You thought that one night was more than enough for you, that you’d lived out every wanton desire and urge. Feeling the heat spread through you now told you that was more than likely not the case.

Two hours later as Lewis screeded to a stop after securing P1 the entire Mercedes room was filled with celebration. The man you’d spent the last two hours talking with patted you on the back then went in for a high five. “I think you might be his good luck charm.”

“Ha! I think now. He just happens to be the GOAT,” you countered.

He chuckled. “I have to have him meet you. I think you two would hit it off. I know everyone around here would love to see him settled.”

Your eyes bugged but as you were about to speak, someone else did.

“That’s Toto for you. He and Suzie are steadily trying to marry him off,” a dark-skinned man the exact replica of Lewis said. "I don't mind, at least maybe I will get some grandchildren soon," he finished.

“Hahaha, Anthony my man,” Toto said with a chuckle.

The two men shook hands as you watched on with wide eyes. You’d seen pictures of Lewis’ father plenty of times. When they stood side by side the resemblance was really uncanny. The only difference was their skin tone, otherwise, Lewis was the spitting image of him.

“What a good race today,” Anthony said.

“I agree. I was just telling Y/N that she might be Lewis’s good luck charm. Miami hasn’t trusted him this well in a while,” Toto added.

Anthony Hamilton looked at you and smiled so warmly you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Y/N. Are you--.”

“No, no. I am no one. My best friend happens to be dating his best friend so here I am. Sort of like a 3rd wheel,” you blabbered.

“We all start from somewhere,” Toto slid in making Anthony snort.

“Well I can tell from your eyes that you’re a kind person. My son could use as many kind people around him as he can get. This business is fickle and cold.”

You caught the chill in his voice and from the look on Toto’s face both men were in a nonverbal agreement.

“Fickle and cold, huh. That’s good. At least you know where you stand with people. I’d take that over fake kindness and hidden agendas. Let a snake be a snake in the open. If I see the snakes in front of me I know my moves ahead of time. I’m sure Lew—your son is the same way. Prepare for war in secret and in the open but kill em’ in silence with kindness and skill which gives proven results.”

The two men glanced at each other then back to you with expressions you weren’t sure how to place.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No. It’s just you sounded like Lewis there. He says prepare in the open but move in silence,” Anthony informed.

You shrugged, “Eh, mine is better.

Again both men laughed.

“You’re right Toto, I think they would hit it off.”

“See. They complement each other.”

This was too freaky for you, so you quickly changed the subject. “Uh, it was a good race. So much so I’m wiped.”

You stretched your arms as you fake yawned. You watched Anthony’s eyes dip to your midsection but before he could speak you pulled your long cardigan together. “Congratulations to you Mr. Hamilton and team Mercedes. I’m going to go on and get out of here.”

Slipping past the two men who attempted to protest your departure, you shimmied up to Villie and slyly told her you were leaving. She didn’t try to stop you at all. She knew the risk that this was. It wasn’t that you didn’t want Lewis to know that you were pregnant, you just didn’t want right now to be when he found out. You knew what it felt like to be blindsided by this news and right here and now would definitely blindside him. Plus, you weren’t 100% ready to see him again after your night together, especially with you still being attracted to him. That was a recipe for disaster—it all was.

So you slipped away with no one being the wiser. The only pair of eyes that followed you as you left was Anthony Hamilton’s and his brow said that he was more than curious as to why.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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