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#i dont want this getting out of containment
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Just remembered the fallen god reader thingy- what if reader just one day regains their power ;)) and then just leaves them, I'm like super offended ;(( I dont wanna be mistreated by them
ahaha this ask made me chuckle a little! unfortunately my version of yandere archons aren't sweet in every scenario, i do still hope you enjoy though! :D
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including mentions of being held against ones will, mentions of manipulation, mentions of violence, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Venti:
Well, he certainly can’t just let you leave, not after all that hard work he put into nursing you back to health. No no, don’t you see, you owe him. You could try and claim he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart, I mean he’s an Archon, a god just like you, doesn’t he see how unjust it is to demand payment?
You could beg and plead all you want, but unless your powers are enough to break the elemental barriers he’s set up, then I’m afraid you’re trapped. He won’t mistreat you, he’ll be nice and sweet to you so long as you behave, but your freedom will forever be removed.
“It’s not fair you say? A lot of things in this world aren’t fair, it’s just how it is.” His bright smile and humorous laugh do little to settle your unrest. No matter how hard you begged, how fast the tears poured from your eyes, or how strained your voice became from constant pleading, nothing worked. Perhaps if you learned to behave he’d let you see the sun again, until then, think long and well about all he had done for you. Remember exactly just how much you owe him for the things he’s done for you.
Zhongli:
He finds it curious that your powers have suddenly returned, but it does little to change his authority over you. Regardless of the strength you show or possess, Zhongli has ingrained into your mind just how weak and pathetic you are. You are nothing without him, your silly little powers mean nothing if you aren’t here with him. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that you need him?
There’s little that would change about the dynamic between the two of you, if anything it just gives Zhongli an excuse to be around you more. His eyes seem to always be observing you now, watching keenly to ensure you don’t dare step out of line. There will be consequences if you should try.
“Dinner is done, come eat.” His tone is warm, but there’s a familiar sense of sternness in the undertone. Since the resurgence of your powers, Zhongli had made sure to remind you of your place below him. It didn’t matter how hard you fought, the elder god showed little remorse when overpowering you. It was astounding to think that even after the loss of his gnosis he could still hold such power over you, but then again, Morax wasn’t known as the God of War for nothing.
Raiden:
She doesn’t believe you at first, those who lose their divinity are not simply granted it back. It would take a long while and many displays of your capabilities to convince her. It doesn’t much change her opinion of you though. Raiden still thinks you are foolish and weak to have lost your powers to begin with. And for that, you should suffer the consequences.
Every escape attempt or effort put in to fight back is quickly shut down. She doesn’t even let you build up the hope that you’ll be able to land a hit before she’s got you disarmed, pinned, and once more shown your place beneath her. It gets a bit frustrating, having to always correct your silly outburst.
“When will you learn that you are nothing compared to me? You should be grateful I have enough decency to put up with this behavior, if you were anyone else I’d have tossed you to the streets like the pathetic waste you seem keen on acting like.” Her words are as rough and painful as her hold on you is. She has you under her, pinned to the floor in the living room of her home. It’s an embarrassing sight, your face held down to the hardwood as she scolds you like a child. This wasn’t the first time it had happened, but Raiden had hoped that by now you’d have learned your lesson. She is getting incredibly fed up with you.
Furina:
Your return of power puts her in a tough position because before when you were powerless, she had something to hold over your head. Now, you hold the power and she’s left to flounder.
There isn’t much she can do to keep you from leaving, sobbing on her knees as you walk towards the front door. It wasn’t fair, it wasn't fair that you got to get back what you lost, it wasn’t fair that you got to still be connected to divinity when she was cut entirely from it. 
“Please, please don’t leave me…” Furina kneels on the ground, hands balled into fists as she begs and sobs. She can just barely see the sides of your shoes as you walk past, disregarding her as you head for the front door. When she’s sure you’re not looking she ceases her crying, the tears were fake from the start. Reaching for the pipe she hid under the couch, she silently grabs it before standing. It was easier to hit you, having stopped in the doorway to admire your freedom, you had been too caught up to hear the soft patter of her footsteps behind you.
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misc-obeyme · 14 hours
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i've been.. sick.. auhrgh. (its a simple cold but my body can'teven),, if you still take tiny drabble requests can I request Barb helping mc when they got a cold.. just tooth rotting fluff.. (if you dont/aren't comfortable thats fine :0b)
Oh noooo I hope you're feeling better!! Being sick is the worst...
And I am still doing drabbles, yes! So I may have written a little more than what I consider drabble length but uh... well I can't help myself when it comes to Barb, so.
Anyway, here's a bunch of fluff!
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You were sick. You knew it and even though you were trying to hide it, you were sure everybody else knew it, too. You kept your sneezes as quiet as possible, burying your face in your elbow to muffle their sound. You refused to sniffle unless you absolutely had to. And you went into the bathroom to blow your nose in private. You tried everything you could to suppress the shivers that ran through your aching body, even while you kept wiping the sweat off of your forehead.
All day at RAD, you felt like despite the obvious signs, you were doing a decent job of powering through it. If anyone noticed, they didn't say anything.
Until you got home, that is.
You were surprised to find Barbatos already in your room.
He smiled at you, but there was a sternness behind it, too. "MC. You are in no condition to continue pushing yourself the way you have been. I have changed your bedsheets and washed your favorite pair of pajamas. Now I must insist that you get changed and get into bed so you can rest."
You frowned and folded your arms. "I don't need to get into bed, I'm fine," you said.
Barbatos walked over to you, removed his glove carefully, and put his hand on your forehead. You shivered a little, partly because you knew he would feel your fever and partly because his touch awakened a burst of butterflies in your stomach.
Barbatos let his hand descend to cup your cheek. "You cannot hide the evidence of your illness from me," he said. His voice was soft, the firmness of moments ago melting away into indulgence. "I know you feel that it is minor, but you will recover quicker if you rest now. If you will allow me to, I will take care of you until you are well again."
The tinge of heat that rose up in your cheeks wasn't something you could blame on your fever. You nodded.
When you were in your pajamas and snug beneath the covers, Barbatos brought you a tray of soup and tea. He sat beside your bed while you ate. On your bedside table he had already placed a supply of tissues and water.
"This is delicious," you said when you were halfway through the soup.
"It is a recipe of my own design," Barbatos said. "It incorporates all of the best nutrients a human would need to fight off a cold. The tea is also a special blend of Devildom herbs. They are safe for human consumption, of course, but they contain just enough magical properties to boost your immune system and speed your recovery."
You smiled at him. It was just like him to be so meticulous in what he served you.
"Isn't it a bad idea for you to be this close to me?" you asked. "What if I'm contagious? I don't want you to get sick, too."
"You needn't worry about me, MC," Barbatos said. "I am not capable of contracting an illness of this nature."
You didn't have the clarity of mind to question that statement further.
When you had finished eating, Barbatos cleared away the tray, then positioned himself back in his chair.
"Are you really just going to sit there all night?" you asked.
"I wish to be here should you need me," he said.
You sighed. You were feeling sleepy. The warmth of the food made you heavy and the softness of your mattress caused your body to relax. Your senses were dulled by the fever still running through you. Your eyelids were slowly descending, but you kept them open. You reached out a hand toward Barbatos and murmured his name.
Barbatos knew what you wanted without you needing to say it. You were still sitting up in bed and after removing his shoes, Barbatos sat beside you. Instead of laying back on your pillows, you rested your head on his chest. His arms enclosed you and your breathing synced with his. You fell asleep listening to the beating of his heart.
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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piffany666 · 3 days
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Ok just one more punk progeny wont hurt ~
Chapter 9: differences
(Ftm Bright eyes - uses he/him pronouns)
(Lovely demi girl - uses they/she pronouns)
Tw: underage drinking
Lovely gave a hesitant knock on Bright's door.
A few seconds later Lovely was met with a very agitated looking Bright eyes.
"What is it?....you brought wine...?"
Bright's tone was initially very defensive, until his gase made its way down to the noticeably large and decadent bottle in Lovely's hands.
"Yeah I found it on one of the shelves in the hallway, its not doing any good being up there so i thought why not use it to celebrate you becoming part of the solair clan? I know you're technically not old enough to drink but hey! I think spending eternity being 19 is way too harsh of a punishment to do sober, so what do ya say?"
Bright eyes looked stunned, but nonetheless, he answered.
"I say mind the empty boxes and get your ass and that bottle in here!"
20 minutes later:
Let it never be said that Bright and Lovely weren't lightweights.
They were both sitting on the bed, pouring wine that was older than both of them combined into mugs Bright had brought up to his new room.
The blush on Bright's face was a shade of crimson against his skin. Lovely's was a deep pink.
They giggled between slurred words as they housed down the wine.
"Ok ok so- im sorry i-i have to ask"
Slurred Lovely.
"Yeah? Hic* whats up?"
Bright eyes answered, finding it increasingly difficult to sit up.
"You and Porter?"
Lovely didnt even finish before they both burst into a cascade of giggles, she didnt have to. Bright knew what she ment.
"Whaaat?"
Asked Bright eyes, as if Lovely was judging him for his taste in men.
"Nothing nothing! It's just hic* I heard from alexis that you where hehe~"
Lovely playfully nudged Bright's side, he giggled and pushed her away in response.
"Dont be gross!"
"Haha! What? I was just asking! I mean you've only known him like less than 20 minutes"
Bright couldn't help but smirk at this
"Uhh actually hehe we had already met, at a bar hic* the other day"
"Oooh! So this was like a reunion? Got it"
"Hehe yeeah, wait hic* how dose alexis know about that?"
Lovely began pouring another mug
"Oh she said she walked in on you two going at it in the hallway"
Bright eyes nudged Lovely with his mug, gesturing that hed like a refill
"Oooohh that explains why he dipped out on me"
Lovely began pouring another mug.
"He's probably waiting for YOU you know? I bumped into alexis on my way here so he's defiantly finished talking with her soooo"
Lovely was done with refilling his cup however he nudged her arm while she was pouring, indicating that he wanted more than what she was allowing him to have.
Lovely stumbled a bit because of this and for a second she worried that the wine would spill onto the bed and stain it.
"Yeeaah but I'll be damned if i wait around for a man for too long so hic* i left after he was gone for like hic* 1 minute...?"
Bright took the mug from her without any consideration that it could spill, and to Lovely's relief it didnt.
"What you gonna do if he shows up here?"
"Hic* I dunno probly turn him away"
"Heck Yeah!"
Lovely high fived the hand that didnt contain a mug full of wine.
"You know how much me and vincent hate Porter? I'm not judging you buuut"
Bright scoffed
"Why tho?"
"Hic* long story, I can already feel a headache forming"
Lovely grabbed at the skin between her forehead. Her vision was begining to blur. So was Bright's
"Damn how'd you manage to get a hangover BEFORE you're done drinking?"
"Oh piss off!"
Lovely playfully pushed him but due to his state he fell backwards instantly, the wine splashed as he fell
"OH SHI-"
Bright exploded with laughter, ignoring the wine he spilled over himself.
Thankfully he didn't get any on the bed sheet.
Once they had both calmed down, Lovely realized something.
"Wait- Wait.... Porter told us that he was talking a 'newborn' to the summit as his plus one"
Bright looked stunned, then his brows furrowed.
"Was he talking about you?!"
The question caused Bright's previous expression to change into one of suprise and confusion.
"I mean....he didn't SAY anything to me about it...?"
Lovely pushed herself up from the bed
"So you're telling me that asswhole said he was bringing you to the summit WITHOUT EVEN ASKING YOU FIRST?!"
Lovely recalled just how stressed Vincent was over inviting an additional vampire to the sumit, them being a newborn made things even more inconvenient, but the fact that the person he was inviting was not only already invited but they were the god damn guest of honour?!
Lovely was pissed, in more ways than one and it showed.
"Hey chill out! He probably didnt even mean ME i-im I was....just a one nighter i mean come on!"
"Dont play dumb! I saw how he looked at you today in that meeting, heee likes youuuu~"
He agressive tone from before had vanished and turned into a juvenile one, the kind youd expect to hear at a 12 year old's sleepover"
"Please stop"
They went back to laughing hysterically.
4 mugs of wine and 1 black out later:
"You know...I was a foster kid"
Bright was just coming to when he heard this.
"Really?....how did you know I was one too?"
"Vincent told me"
By this point they were both close to falling asleep at any moment, however, this was something Lovely had wanted to talk to Bright about since the moment Vincent had told her this piece of information, so she pulled herself together and took another sip, hoping it would keep her awake despite it being the thing causing her fatigue.
"Vincent told me that you told him"
"Oh Yeah, I remember"
Lovely once again was lost on how to continue this conversation.
"D-do you have any siblings?"
"Well-"
Bright hesitated.
"I don't know what it was like for you but in the homes i went to we all considered each other 'siblings' but biological? No. Not that I know of"
"Huh. Do you still keep contact with any of them?"
Lovely couldn't tell if he looked sad or just tired.
"I did. With one of them. But then she just...stopped"
"I'm really sorry"
For a moment they just layed there, quiet and still.
Until Bright got up and poured himself another, seemingly doing the same thing Lovely was attempting to do.
"What about you? Got any sibling?"
Lovely seemed to perk up at this.
"Yeah actually. Biological but they got adopted before me, the parents only wanted them"
Bright scowled.
"Tipical, honestly, they should do two for one deals with these sorts of things?!"
Lovely assumed he was joking due to the serious nature of the topic of discussion, so they laughed.
"Yeah Well, I was lucky enough to keep contact with them the whole time online, last year I got to meet them in person tho since I started going to damn and theyd been going there a little while before me"
Bright gave a warm smile. He seemed genuinely happy to hear that lovely was able to see their sibling again.
"They're doing good for themselves too, they have a nice boyfriend, a good friend group and they're so damn talented with magic!....I'm glad they ended up ok even without me"
Lovely gently touched his arm.
I'm hoping that even with your rough start, you can do the same"
His smile dropped as his lips parted in suprise, he didn't know how to respond. So he didn't.
He just clicked his mug with hers and continued to sip it.
The brim hiding his smile.
Vincent was still in shock in regards to what happend.
He would be lying if he said he hadn't seen Lovely angry before but this was....diffrent.
He also felt bad that Lovely had inadvertently made Sam feel like he needed to leave.
Vincent thought that the best thing to do would be to go and confront her.
But that was before he saw her and Bright laying on Bright's bed wasted.
"What the-?!"
"Ok ok so old wine....is good wine hic*"
Lovely didnt seem to notice Vincent standing gob smacked in the doorway.
"Yeah ok ok but hic* expensive wine....is good wine also-"
"What are you guys doing?"
Vincent finally got Lovely's attention.
"Oh hiiiii~ hey vinc hic* whats up?"
"A-are you drunk? Why are you drunk?!"
"Relax, I just thought we could use a drink is all"
Lovely was desperately trying to sit up, luckily her cup was empty so she didnt need to worry about spillage.
"We just established that Bright isn't old enough to even drink!"
"Oh chill out grandpa, Lovely here already got a headache"
Lovely, still stumbling over herself, pushing Bright eye's leg before falling over herself and eventually being caught by Vincent.
She looked up at him for a moment then smiled sweetly.
"Hi~"
She went to kiss him but she could barely keep herself up so she didnt succeed.
Vincent decided to excuse the absurdity of the situation and prioritise getting Lovely to bed before it got too light outside.
"Ok time to get you to bed, say bye to Bright"
"Byyee!~"
She waved lazily at him, he did the same.
Given Lovely's state, Vincent thought it was wise to ask Bright how he was holding up.
"Hey, you gonna be Ok?"
"Yeeeaah ill be fine"
Vincent trusted Bright not to do anything too stupid between now and night time.
"Alright then"
Vincent proceeded to carry Lovely into their bedroom a floor up.
Bright tried to sleep off the feeling swimming throught his head......But he couldn't.
Epilogue:
A knock on the door caused Bright eyes to jolt up from his bed.
He wasn't asleep, however he was still suprised by the sound, especially since the intoxicated state he was in amplified all sounds.
He groaned as he felt himself moving from his bed on the door.
"What?"
He slurred, voice thick with sleep.
He opened the door to Porter standing in front of him.
"I apologise for the late arrival~"
"Yeah? Why'd you run off before then? Cold feet?"
Bright had previously been told the answer to this question, however he still wanted to tease him, and see if he would tell the truth.
Porter winced at the implication that Bright had thought this entire time that Porter had left him due to "cold feet". Despite this, he coughed then gave a small slightly awkward laugh.
"N-no I do apologise for leaving its just....alexis saw us. I knew she would tell vincent and i really dont fancy having my head removed before I could get a chance to ask you something important, you understand?~"
Bright didnt answere, he did however share a kiss with Porter once he had finished apologising, he wasn't entirely sure who initiated it but he reciprocated nonetheless.
"Hmm~ may i come in?"
Bright could feel Porters breath against his lips.
Bright eyes smiled.
"No".
Then he closed the door to his room.
@darlin-collins thank you for proof reading as usual ♡
@anexistingexistence @you-think-i-care-mate
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"kill them with kindness?" wrong. parma violets attack. 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣
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sonknuxadow · 3 months
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this is probably an unpopular opinion with the amount of "everyone is married with kids" type future aus people make for sonic characters but i cannot see sonic getting married or having a kid ever. if he did somehow end up with a kid hed be the worlds first transmasc absent father or however the joke goes
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cough hack wheeze who wants a teeny tiny fantasy au snippet with uhhhh laughingstock Tension. it's like... half a scene! unedited & out of context As Is Tradition
~
“Nothin’ much. I think I’ll poke around nearby towns, shake down some travelers - see what falls into my paws.”
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Barn,” Howdy says. He sweeps aggressively, spreading dirt more than gathering it into the usual neat piles. “Who knows if those ne'er-do-wells are still roaming around the woods - if you and Ed couldn’t take them, what makes you think you could alone? Or- or! What if you stumble across those cultists? I hate to think of you stuck in an ambush with no help coming, knowing fully well that-”
A large paw slips the broom out of his grip and sets it to the side, and Howdy stammers to a stop as Barnaby crowds him against the bar with a soft, “Howdy.”
Howdy swallows hard, bracketed on each side by strong blue arms. The look Barnaby fixes him with dries up his well of words and bristles his fuzz. Howdy’s heart hammers against his ribs. He can feel Barnaby’s body heat, and it’s lighting his blood on fire. 
“I’m not gonna be reckless, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Barnaby says. He barely needs to speak louder than a whisper for Howdy to hear him loud and clear. He smells like sweet smoke. “The other day was a one time deal, cross my heart. But, if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll take someone with me. I’m sure Jules is itchin’ to get outta town.”
“What would really make me feel better is if you stay,” Howdy blurts, just barely reining in the with me. He tenses, knowing that he’s toeing a dangerous line. One wrong word, and he’ll make the unspoken spoken - but the stress drains out of him as Barn’s eyes go soft. Perhaps that wouldn’t be so bad. Of course there’s no reason to worry, not about this, not with him. There never has been.
“You know I can’t do that,” Barnaby murmurs. “Not yet.”
Howdy doesn’t need to say that he knows. Not for the first time and with any luck, not for the last, it clicks in his mind that they’re on the same page - he doesn’t need to be a telepath to understand the thoughts behind Barnaby’s dark eyes. 
Barnaby says it anyway. “I gotta get him back. I can’t… there’s no room for anythin’ else right now.”
Howdy sighs through his nose and slumps against the counter digging into the small of his back. He nods and adjusts the lapels of Barnaby’s vest. His fingers ghost over soft blue, and Barnaby doesn’t flinch at the contact. If anything, he leans the barest millimeter into it. His gaze burns into Howdy’s, even if they aren’t meeting at the moment, but it isn’t a bad feeling. Quite the opposite, actually.
“Well,” Howdy says in a low voice, “if you find a good lead, send for the rest of us. I’ll be there as fast as my four legs can scamper.”
Barnaby smirks. “Even if you need to take a boat?”
“Even so, Barn.”
The smirk slides into something that isn’t a frown, but isn’t a smile. It’s too soft for a grimace, but too intense for simple recognition. Barnaby seems to sway forward, and Howdy is sorely tempted to meet him halfway.  
But Barnaby’s claw taps the counter, and he pulls away before anyone’s mind can be made up. Howdy’s hands slip from his lapels, brushing against fur as they fall and knuckles skimming over the smooth, fresh scar cutting across Barnaby’s belly. 
“I’ll be back before you know it,” Barnaby says, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He squeezes Howdy’s shoulder and then his back is turned, and he’s leaving. All Howdy can do is watch. 
And call out after him, “Your table will be open and waiting for you.”
Barnaby pauses in the doorway and looks over his shoulder at Howdy, and his grin is so full of affection that Howdy may just burst. 
“With a free pint?” he asks.
“Hey now, don’t push your luck pal.”
Barnaby bursts out laughing, and Howdy can hear it even after the door thuds closed.
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rowanoftheunknown · 7 months
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I love that stede acknowledged he was a shit dad actually like they don't woobify the fact that he is just. Not a very good father. I am not being sarcastic when I say I love it.
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ekholocationn · 16 days
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been rotating the idea of an overlord gala in my head after seeing ppl make fancy outfits for some of the hazbin characters. so heres my contribution with my hazbin oc
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gncrezan · 3 months
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happy valentine's day najam!! 💕 love u so much, you always make my days so bright, i hope you enjoy that same brightness today
HAPPY VALENTINES QUILL !!!!! hope you had a good day, i love you MWAH !!!!!! using this ask like last year as an excuse to post various nickmancing content i've accumulated over the years do not mind me (buttonkenzie sneaking in but still)
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eebie · 7 days
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my last post got me thinking so im gonna do a poll to see what u guys think
id love to do a second poll like this on twitter and compare the results. they’d probably be very different from what i’m predicting the response to be here But also twitter is a notorious hellscape and im not setting foot in there. also theres a typo in that last option we isn’t supposed to be there.
EDIT: some clarification bc my wording may have been a little confusing: if two characters are not related in canon, but their voice actors are related in real life, would it be weird to ship the characters?
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everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me
#rant#i guess#it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever#like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning#i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry#its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too#it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but#a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container#or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside.#it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time.#i hate this survivalistic shit#its not long before i move out thank god but still#he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything#like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice.#i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it.#and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive#at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont#let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know#writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy
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oddthesungod · 11 months
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the funniest thing about ppl in the fandom being like "silly stupid villagers falling for a speech from an obvious villain and his cult, I would never fall for it gg ez" is that ppl that think they're too clever or smart for cults or conspiracy theories are usually the ppl that are among the most suscetible to cult and conspiracy rhetoric
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karvakera · 8 months
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jumpscares you with my ocs
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the first one was done today to keep my attention on the stream I was watching,,, I physically can not watch something if I dont draw at the same time.
the mermaid one was done a while ago but I wanted to share it since its dear to me (despite the godawful mistakes in anatomy and angles). I usually struggle with backrounds but I think it turned out fine there,, also something about its vibe is special to me,,, feels somewhat nostalgic
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permafrown · 2 months
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YIKES i am so scared to start selfshipping. I want to kiss spy tf2 so bad How do i Begin how do i stop thinking im cringe as fuck. Ik cringe culture is dead but hes so pretty i canno
BUDDY it's just something you just kinda. Go For. I started self-shipping when I was 16 (so 4 years ago) after like. Shyly asking one of my mutuals in an anonymous ask if they had even considered making one LOL. And they did so I ended up following suit like the day after. There's comfort in knowing other people- especially if you're somewhat close to em- do it too.
Start silly if that's your style. Like you could just be like
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And that's valid enough.
Literally there's no wrong way to to about it, as long as it's fun for you at the end of the day. 👍 AND ONTOP OF EVERYTHING DUDE SPY TF2 IS SUCH AN AWESOME PICK. No matter what I'm nodding my head and supporting you 1,000%
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
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purposefully-lost · 1 year
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I tried to be good
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
Am I no good?
With my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence
I just wanted to be yours
Can I be yours?
Can I be yours?
Can I be yours?
If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick
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