#i drew this in 2021 but i still love it okay

[navybrat817]

A Price to Pay

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Female Reader, Ransom Drysdale x Female Reader Summary: Steve demands retribution when Ransom crosses a line. Ransom offers you as payment. Word Count: Almost 2.9k Warnings: Dubcon/Noncon elements (do not read if that upsets you), blackmail, coercion, choking, swearing, talks of violence, forced cheating, Ransom is an asshole, mob!Steve Rogers (he’s a warning, okay?). A/N: Another old WIP completed! I began this in August of 2021. This will be connected to a future Bucky fic and I may expand on Steve's story if there is interest. ❤️ Beta read by the beautiful @little-diable and @sweeterthanthis, but any and all mistakes are my own. Banners by @maysdigitalarts and moodboard by yours truly. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Please reblog or comment as it means the world!

Ransom Drysdale was the worst mistake you ever made. The man exuded arrogance, yet you were somehow attracted to his confidence. Maybe it was because yours wasn't strong enough at the time. His charm won you over, even as you tried to resist. He didn't strike you as the type who wanted a long-term relationship, but he convinced you to give him a chance. He swore you wouldn't regret it. 

"Best decision you'll ever make."

Fool me once, shame on you. 

Ransom didn't deserve you. You figured that out when you caught him in the first lie. You weren't supposed to hear his phone call as he watched the news. He wasn't usually that careless, as you would later find out.

At first you thought he cheated on you. It would have explained his hushed calls and random outings after you moved in. You almost wished he had been seeing someone else. That would have made it easier to walk away and never look back. 

"Yeah, I'm watching. Like I give a shit if his company falls or his wife leaves. Should've kept his dick in his pants. And you should've seen the stupid look on his face when I told him there were photos. I told him what would happen if he didn't wire the money. Fucker's paying for it now, isn't he?"

"... Ransom?"

"... Fuck. I'll call you back."

He brushed you off when you questioned him. He even tried to convince you that you were hearing things. He dropped the charade when he realized you weren't going to let it go. 

"Just can't let me have my fun, can you?"

You thought Ransom came from money, which he had growing up. Somewhere along the way his grandfather cut him off. He had to find more creative ways to keep his cash flow going - like blackmail. Trading secrets and exposing scandals when necessary were second nature to him. And he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. 

But he swore he'd stop when he saw your tears.

"I'm done, pumpkin. It was the last one. Cross my heart."

Fool me twice, shame on me. 

It was easier when you were blissfully unaware of the kind of man he truly was. The affectionate touches and gasps he drew from you couldn't wash away what he had done. He ruined lives just to keep his pockets full. And you knew in your heart he wouldn't let you go. Not because he loved you, but because you were a liability.

He made that clear when you caught him again and said you needed space.

"You're not leaving me."

You could barely walk by the time he was done fucking you that night. A sore reminder that crossing him wasn't a smart move. But he never raised a hand to you. He didn't leave visible scars. You carried them where no one could see. So why would your friends and family who were still around ever side with you? 

"I own you. Don't you ever fucking forget it."

You weren't completely helpless. You played your part and learned a few secrets of your own, like how Ransom's grandfather really died. You pieced together that Ransom was the one who killed him, but he still didn't get enough money in the will to satisfy him. 

He'll never be satisfied. 

It took time and careful planning to make sure you had enough money set aside to leave. He dipped into your main account, of course, but you had a rainy day fund from before you met him that he would never touch. You could have a fresh start and maybe expose him in the process. But you still felt like a coward. 

Was that why he chose to be with me? Because I'm weaker than him? 

"Pumpkin, where are you?" you heard as the front door opened. 

Glancing at the clock, you tried not to panic. He isn't supposed to be home yet. You quickly stashed your bag under the bed and swallowed the lump in your throat. "Coming!" you called back, smoothing out your dress and checking your reflection before you made your way downstairs to the study.

I can still leave tonight. I can even leave tomorrow. I'll be fine.

You took a deep breath before you entered the room, surprised to find two other men with Ransom. 

"There she is. Finally," Ransom said, a glass of scotch already in hand.

Your heart raced in your chest as you glanced at the man who sat across from Ransom. His broad body radiated power and strength, his presence dominating the entire room. And he wasn't even standing. You expected his gaze to be harsh when he looked at you, but his blue eyes softened the longer he stared. You had to look away after a minute. 

Your gaze landed on the figure beside him. The brunette looked just as intimidating as the blonde, his gaze cold. The corner of his lip tugged into a smile as he lifted his hand in a wave. It was a metal hand. 

"Relax. We won't bite. Well… I won't."

Ransom rolled his eyes, "Pumpkin, take a seat. We need to talk."

Nothing good ever happened when someone needed to talk. "About what?" you asked as you sat in the empty chair on the other side of Ransom.

"This is Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes," he introduced, taking a sip of his scotch. "They're here on business."

You bit the inside of your cheek. You didn't want to judge these men, but you knew it had to be something shady. Nothing Random did was ever pure.

Steve shifted in his chair to face you. "Care to tell me your name, sweetheart? You don't strike me as the type who likes to be called 'pumpkin'."

You avoided Ransom's subtle glare as you cleared your throat and said it. 

"It’s nice to meet you, though I wish the circumstances were better," he smiled gently. "For the record, we already know who you are. I know where your friends and family live. I know about that bakery you like to go to once a week. You treat yourself to a specialty donut. They're good."

You wished you had a glass of water to quench your dry throat. "You've been watching me?"

"It's part of my job to know people. Allies. Enemies. We also know you've been living here for some time. Before I get into why exactly we're here, I do have to ask even though I know the answer. Are you aware of what Ransom does?"

Ashamed, you merely nodded as your fingers twisted in your lap.

Steve's gaze was sympathetic as he continued. “Are you also aware that Ransom recently got into some trouble?"

You spared Ransom a quick glance. "What kind of trouble?"

"Doesn't matter," he said dismissively. 

"It does matter," Steve said firmly, leaning forward in his chair. "It matters when your mouth gets one of my men killed."

Your stomach dropped as you took in Steve and Bucky's angry expressions. "You got someone killed?"

"Idiot got himself killed. Not my fault or my problem."

"He was a kid," Steve argued.

It earned him a shrug in response. "You brought the kids in, Rogers. Both of you knew what he was getting into. Don't blame me for his blood being on your hands."

The callousness shocked you, despite what you knew about Ransom. "How can you say that? How can you think so little of people?"

"Oh, it gets better," Bucky said sarcastically before Ransom could answer.

"What do you mean?" you asked nervously. 

"I told you. He got one of my men killed. I took it personally," Steve explained. "I debated between killing him myself or having him sent to jail, but I'm a reasonable guy. I gave him a chance to tell his side of the story. Once he figured out I wasn't going to budge on some sort of retaliation, he offered me something."

You didn't like where this was going. "What exactly did he offer?"

"You."

You were waiting for the punchline. For someone to laugh. There was nothing funny about it as all three men stared at you. Bucky's expression remained the same, but there was sympathy in his eyes. Ransom looked proud of himself. It made you wish you could slap the smirk off his face. But Steve?

Steve's eyes were thoughtful, calculating. He was gauging your response. You almost opened your mouth to tell him you weren't worth the life of the man he lost, but what came out was, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Steve didn't look surprised by your outburst. Maybe he expected it. "Listen, please. I know-"

"No. You listen. I want nothing to do with whatever he did. I am so sorry that one of your men was killed, but please understand that I am not going to be a pawn in whatever this is."

Ransom had the gall to look embarrassed as you stood up. "You don't have a choice. Just let him fuck you and be done with it."

"Yes, I do have a choice. And I'm choosing to leave."

"You're not walking out that door," Ransom said, getting to his feet, too. "Just like you didn't the last time you tried to leave."

Humiliation flooded you as Steve and Bucky exchanged a look. Were they judging you? Did they pity you? "I'm going upstairs and getting my bag. I'm not cleaning up your mess. I'm done playing your games, Ransom. I'm done with you."

Ransom's jaw clenched as he marched over and grabbed you by your throat. "You think I give a shit what you want right now? I never did. You were just a fucking toy to keep my dick wet. And I'd let him and his entire fucking crew run a train on you if it keeps me out of jail."

Your eyes teared up as you looked into his eyes. There was no love there. Not at that moment. Did he ever love you?

"Do. You. Understand?"

The hand around your throat squeezed tighter, just enough to show that he could end you. You whimpered, but not because of the pain. It was a different kind of hurt you felt.  The kind of hurt that couldn't be healed by false promises. That was what Ransom was: a false, empty promise.

I should have run the moment you walked into my life.  

"Let her go."

Steve's words were softly spoken in the quiet room, but everyone felt the weight of them.

"Don't tell me what to do with my girl, Rogers."

"Right now, she's MY girl. Get your fucking hands off of her."

Bucky brandished his gun as he stood up, taking aim at Ransom. "He won't ask again. And I'd hate to ruin her pretty dress with your blood."

You almost missed the snarl he let out as he released you, coughing as you rubbed your neck. Your heart leapt as you looked over and caught Steve's gaze. The intensity in his eyes only grew as he began to walk across the room. You felt your breath leave your body again as he got closer. You didn't bother to step back because you were already caught. 

Neither of you spoke a word when he stopped and brought his hands to your face. He cupped your cheeks with a certain kind of tenderness that surprised you as his eyes scanned your neck. A tear finally fell when his brows furrowed with concern. Why would he care when your own boyfriend didn't?

"The fuck are you doing?" Ransom snapped when Steve began to pepper gentle kisses along the column of your throat.

Your eyes slipped shut, but it wasn't completely out of fear. The feel of his lips should have made you shudder in disgust, but you found yourself craving more. Was it pathetic? You didn't care.

"I told you, she's my girl now," Steve murmured against your skin. "And if I ever see you touch her like that again, I'll tear you apart. Limb from limb."

Ransom's laugh sounded bitter and ugly as you opened your eyes. "You want my sloppy seconds so badly, be my guest. Little slut's probably creaming herself from the attention."

"This whole thing is your fault, Ransom," you reminded him, another bitter tear falling from your eye. The anger whirling inside you couldn't be contained any longer. "So if you're going to offer me up like a slut, the least I can do is enjoy it."

Steve kissed up to the corner of your mouth, smiling. "Enjoy it? Oh, sweetheart," he breathed, "By the time I'm done with you, you won't even remember he existed. Because every thought of him will be fucked out of you. I can promise you that."

You shivered and dared to glance at Ransom out of the corner of your eye. 

“You really are a fucking slut,” he sneered before Bucky pressed the gun to his temple.

“No one twisted your arm to offer her.”

"I could just let you kill him,” you pointed out to Steve, the last shred of sympathy for Ransom fading as another tear slid down your cheek.

"I'd take you anyway," Steve whispered, brushing his lips against your cheek to take the tear away. "I wanted you the moment I saw you and I'm a very determined man."

You were light on your feet as you brought a hand up to wrap around his wrist. Something to keep you from falling. "I won't be a pawn. If you're going to keep me, actually keep me, prove to me why I shouldn't run."

"I have ways to keep you from running," his voice deepened, a flash of Ransom dragging you to bed filling your mind. "But I'd rather not chase you away to begin with."

“She loves to put up a fight. Helps her sleep at night instead of admitting she’s as fucked up as the rest of us.” 

You weren't sure if it was the disdain in Ransom's voice or the rage in Steve's eyes, but a surge of unexpected power emerged from the bitterness. "What was it you said, Ran? You'd let his men run a train on me if it keeps you out of jail?"

"What are you suggesting, sweetheart?" Steve asked, his gaze curious as he pulled back to regard you. 

"While I don't want that, I want Ransom to watch you fuck me," you spoke, standing a bit straighter as you looked him in the eye. You refused to look weak. "I want him to see you split me open with your cock and make me cry from how good it feels. When you're done, then I'll forget he ever existed."

Bucky chuckled, but you didn't look his way. You didn't dare look away from Steve as his gaze drifted to your lips. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. My wife's gonna love you."

"Done," Steve whispered before his mouth descended on yours.

You didn't fight as his tongue slid past your parted lips. You welcomed his dominance, his control. Oh, he was going to make you become addicted. The dampening in your panties was a sure sign of that. 

"You're fucking stupid if you think I'll watch him fuck her!"

Ransom's voice wasn't enough to break the spell that Steve's kiss had over you. Maybe you were trading one evil for another, but this was the door you willingly walked through. You threw away the key the moment you took Ransom's hand.

Now you'd have a better hand to guide you.

"You'll watch," Bucky promised. "But, punk, my doll might kill me if I have to watch, too. You understand."

The almost lighthearted tone of Steve's friend was enough to stop the kiss, giving you a moment to take a much needed deep breath. "Get Ari over here. He'll make sure he keeps his eyes open."

"You fucking-"

You jumped when Bucky smacked Ransom in the face with his gun, effectively cutting off his next words. The hit made his nose bleed and you took sick pleasure in watching it stain his sweater, his hands flying up to try and stop it. If you were the sacrifice, he had to pay in blood for your offering. 

"Any other conditions or questions?" Steve asked, turning your face back toward him as your now ex's swears and groans were muffled.

"Will you be good to me?” 

“You have my word and I’ll do what I can to make sure you trust me.”

Ransom may have been your worst mistake, but the silver lining was that you'd no longer be in his prison. Your body was a small price to pay to join Steve in a larger, better cage. You could still fly. Maybe you’d give him your heart in time. 

Maybe you could also convince Steve to take Ransom down anyway. For his grandfather, for the kid, for you. For every person he hurt.

You won't die, Ransom, but you'll pay. Everyone has to pay for their sins eventually.

“Then we should get started," you stated, sealing your fate.

"Call Ari. Now," Steve ordered Bucky, looking at Ransom with an unsympathetic smile. “You heard her. Let’s get started.”

*****

Hope to share more soon. Love and thanks! ❤️

[neon-night]

MLP Mane 6 - 2024 Human Designs

I've been wanting to re-design my MLP FIM Human designs for a while now, as the previous versions were from 2021-2022, and I really don't like those old designs now. They can still be found on my page, and I won't delete them, but I thought it was about time for an upgrade! (Also in that original batch I did, I never drew AJ, so I'm also making up for that :/ )

And, just to get it out of the way: This is MY own interpretation of the characters. I'm not going against anyone else's designs, and I would hope that no-one would do that for me. They are ponies without specified race or ethnicity, an artist is allowed to interpret them however they want.

Anyway, as for the designs themselves I wanted to include small details about the characters, mostly head canon stuff. I'll run through each of them and give my small commentary on my designs.

Quick Note: Each of the mane 6 are wearing Friendship bracelets, and each matches a specific other character, but that doesn't mean that they value their overall friendships any less. I simply chose the combinations from the episodes I remember those specific two (or more) being in together. But, for the sake of harmony, let's say that they all have bracelets of each other, and simply chose just two to wear to their photo shoot.

Rainbow Dash: I wanted a very tom-boyish/partly sporty look for her. Baggy shirt (probably wearing a sports bra?), athletic shorts, bandages & scrapes (from falling, etc.) and some very nice sneakers. (One of her most prized possessions)

Pinkie Pie: Fun colors and fashion, I wanted her hair to be as wonderfully fluffy and curly as it could be. Also her sandals were so fun to design, I imagine she calls them her "cake shoes".

Twilight Sparkle: Far more subtle in design and colors, but I figure that's what she'd want. Also her hair shape is so fun, I'm so proud of it.

Apple Jack: Actually one of the more detailed designs, but I just had to include everything I thought of. I imagine she's very tanned from her work, but it follows the line of her clothes, and her freckles most often appear there. (I'm not actually sure if that's how freckles work, I'm just assuming :/ ) Also my dad gave me the idea to put her cutie mark on her belt buckle. (I was just gonna do trees or smth, but this is far better)

Rarity: Lots of little details, and attention to detail. Looking at it now, I could've added more white into her design than I did, but I'm okay with her palette. Her hair was my favorite to color :)

Fluttershy: (My favorite) Was a simpler design, like Twilight, but again I think she'd appreciate that. There are some scars on her legs, hands and parts of her face, and I added those as she works with animals, and I'd figure that, although they do listen to her, they are still animals and can get rowdy without warning. And they are fully-healed scars, she's not in pain, her skin just has a lot of story to it. (And you know me, I had to add a bit of Discord's influence in there! I imagine that he made the necklace for her, and although it's strange and doesn't seem to go with any outfit, she loves it dearly.)

[bbgem329]

Things Are Never As They Seem… Chapter Twenty Five

Pairings—Sebastian Stan x Actress!Reader, Sebastian Stan x OFC (PR relationship)

Summary

You and Sebastian Stan have been dating privately for over two years. Everything is perfect until he is coerced into a PR relationship when he signed with a new agency to advance his career. Trouble ensues…

Warnings

MINORS DNI! 18+++. Language. Fluff. HW sucks. SMUT. Oral (female receiving). PIV. Angst a little. Did I miss anything?

Series Masterlist

—————

May 29, 2021

“Fuck.”

You caught yourself on the edge of the counter, struggling to yank your pants up.

“You okay over there?”

You laughed a little, shaking your head as you finally drew the tight mom jeans over your hips with a subtle shimmy and slipped the button into place.

“I am riding the struggle bus.” You announced, “The test shots ran late, the director is an absolute dick, I’m starving, and on top of all that for some reason I’m spotting which is really odd because I know I’m at least two weeks out from my period.”

Your boyfriend chuckled softly on the other line, “Did you miss a pill?”

“No. I never ever do.” You snatched your phone off the counter, heading in the direction of the trailer bathroom to touch up your makeup and check your hair, “I love that that is what you're focused on.”

“Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t–”

“No.” You interjected softly, “I was teasing and honestly, I’m feeling a little hangry I mean nothing by it, seriously. I’m the one who's sorry–I’m the one who’s running late.”

He sighed, out of relief or what you weren’t sure, “Don’t even worry about that. I’m just hiding out in a guest room until you get here. And there is plenty of food, they’re getting it all out now.”

“Here. Facetime me.” A second later his facetime request came through, you immediately hit accept and propped your phone up on the counter, “How does this look?” You stepped back and did a little twirl, “What is everyone else wearing?”

Sebastian’s smirk turned flirty as his eyes trailed hungrily over your form, “You look absolutely gorgeous. The way your ass looks in those jeans…” He lifted his arms, making grabby hands at the camera, “I’m in love.”

“Thank you.” You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, biting back a smile as you ran your fingers through your hair and fluffed your loose curls, “Are you sure the top isn’t too much?”

You fiddled with the little bow at the front of your navy blue, lacy corset top. You were going out tonight with a group of friends for his friend Tommy's birthday. You figured jeans and a nice top with a pair of heels would be good enough but you couldn’t help but feel like the top might be a little much. You’d been waiting forever to wear it and now was your chance. It made you feel sexy and confident and that was something you could use tonight if you were going to deal with Catalina.

“No, sweetheart.” He shook his head, not lifting his gaze from your chest. No doubt admiring the way the top accentuated your breasts. “You look absolutely gorgeous. You will, hands down, be the best dressed. It’s perfect—You’re perfect.”

“Thank you.”

You couldn’t stop blush that rose to the apple of your cheeks, even if your tried. The way he said it—the way he was ogling you so openly, left you no choice but to believe it was true. At times you still didn’t know how to handle the attention or to accept the compliments he gave you, more often than not you found yourself brushing it off and nudging the focus onto him.

“What are you wearing?” You giggled when he rolled his eyes at you. He knew you so well–knew exactly what you were doing, “I think it’s only fair I get a fit check after I gave you one.”

He squinted, lips pressed in a thin line but you didn’t miss the little cork at the corner of his full lips, “A fit check?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, waving your hand at him through the camera, “Just show me your outfit.”

He propped his phone on something and stepped back from the camera. You paused rummaging through your makeup bag to watch him as he, just as you had, did a little twirl for the camera.

God.

It wasn’t even fair how gorgeous he was.

In a simple pair of light wash jeans, t-shirt, and his signature pair of white Nike air forces, he looked like sex on legs. His tattoos had been removed earlier this morning in preparation to reapply fresh ones tomorrow and his hair was pushed back with a pair of raybans.

He looked less like Tommy and more like himself like this.

Exactly how you liked him best.

You were definitely taking advantage of that tonight.

You’d go out and spend your time with your friends but tonight he would be all yours.

“Ughh.” You groaned, letting your head drop into your hands as you leaned over the bathroom counter, “Why are you so sexy?” You jutted your bottom lip out in a pout, “It’s not fair.”

“Now you know how I feel!!” He laughed loudly and warmth spread throughout your chest and belly, “It’s going to be hard to keep my eyes and hands to myself tonight.”

You frowned, a downpour of reality washing over you, “You’re going to have to keep the ruse up for the party?”

Sebastian nodded solemnly, guilt swarming in those cerulean eyes as he picked up the phone and brought it closer to his face, “Not everyone knows there. I’m sorry–”

You held a hand up, shaking your head, “Don’t apologize. It’s alright.” You gave a little shrug of your shoulders before pulling your mascara from your makeup bag, “It’s only for a couple hours. No biggie.”

He sighed softly, “I know but it still sucks. We should be able to enjoy time with our friends without all this PR bullshit.” He waved his hand, eyebrows furrowing and jaw clenching, “Without Catalina fucking with our lives.”

You knew he was right, of course, but you were over letting her control your emotions.

So what if you had to act like you weren’t absolutely in love with Sebastian at the party tonight?

So what if you couldn’t openly hang on him and kiss him?

You would get him all to yourself tonight and for the rest of your life, you were more than sure of that.

Catalina wouldn’t be around forever.

She was temporary.

That relationship was a movie and you too had a part to play.

And you’d play it well.

If only for Sebastian’s sake.

“It’s alright, seriously.” You smiled, one you hoped reassured him, “It’s only for a little bit. She won’t be around forever.”

He was quiet for a moment, studying you carefully through the camera before speaking up, “I love you, you know that?”

“I do.” You grinned, “And did you know I love you too?”

He nodded, a smile growing across his handsome face, “I do.”

“Good, now.” You finished the last of your touch-up and sprayed a little perfume on your neck and wrists, “I’m gonna go. I gotta swing and grab that cake and then I’ll be on my way to you.”

“Okay.” He blew you a kiss, “Drive safe. See you soon.”

“Time me.” And with a wink you ended the call.

—————

As soon as you stepped through the door, you were completely bombarded. You barely had time to blink before your bag and the cake were being pulled from your hands, and then you were being drawn into a million different hugs.

“Wow.” You laughed, finally making it through the warm greetings, “Quite the welcome committee you have.”

“You’re the last to arrive.” Your friend Josie took your hand, leading you in the direction of the kitchen, “Go ahead and make a plate. Everyone else is eating throughout the living room and sunroom.”

“Momma.” A little voice called from the other room, “Momma!”

She rolled her eyes playfully, a big grin splitting across her face, “Duty calls. I’ll save you a seat.”

And with that she left you alone in the kitchen.

You weren’t super close with Josie but you’d been here enough over the last couple years to find your way around her kitchen. You snagged a plate from the cupboard and trailed over to the island like a horse to a carrot. You were starving and there were so many options spread across the counter top, you didn’t even know where to start.

Just as you leaned over to pick out a few taco shells, a pair of arms snaked around your waist and drew you back against a familiar hard body.

“Sebastian.” You chided softly, shivering as he began trailing open mouthed kisses up the side of your neck. You set your plate on the counter and halfheartedly bat his hands away, suddenly feeling weak in the knees, “You can’t just do that. Anyone could walk in…”

“You look so gorgeous, baby.” One more little kiss to the skin beneath your jaw and he was spinning you around, crushing you to his chest. “I missed so much today.”

You giggled, cheeks flaming bright pink. “You saw me this morning.”

Despite knowing you could get caught—knowing the risk, you found yourself wrapping your arms over his shoulders and rolling up on your toes to connect your lips with his for a sweet, drawn out kiss.

He groaned against your lips when your fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, giving it a deliberate tug.

You tugged again and used his following gasp to your advantage, slipping your tongue into his mouth to tangle with his own. You lost yourself in the kiss, as you always did—pressing your body closer to his, so close you could feel his heart beating against your breast.

“Get a room.”

You jolted back, practically throwing yourself across the room, as far away from Sebastian as you could get in only a few seconds.

“Jeez.”

You lifted your head to find the birthday boy standing in the entryway, a knowing smirk on his lips.

He strolled further into the room, towards Sebastian. “You’re lucky it was me that walked in.”

“Fuck off.” Your boyfriend laughed, brushing Tommy off when he threw an arm over his shoulder, “I can kiss my girlfriend when I want to.”

“Tell that to that barbie bitch out there.” He nodded his head towards the living room with a chuckle, “She’s telling everyone and anyone who will listen all about how obsessed you are with her and how it was love at first. She’s yammering complete and utter bullshit.”

You watched with a baited breath as Sebastian’s entire body went rigid, “What?”

Tommy shook his head, giving a little shrug of his shoulders as he spooned a bit more rice and beans on his plate, “She’s a real bitch that one. I’ve dealt with her for all of thirty minutes and I already want to bash my head against the wall. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for you.”

“Fuck.” Sebastian groaned, scrubbing a hand down his face, “I’m sorry, baby. I’ve gotta go deal with that.”

He shot you an apologetic smile over his shoulder and disappeared through the door.

Tommy said your name softly, “It’s good to see you. Thanks for coming.”

You smiled, “Of course. Wouldn’t miss it… Though it’s probably going to be a long night.”

“Yeah.” He grinned, pulling you into a half side hug when you came to stand next to him at the island and picked up your discarded plate, “But we’ll make it fun.” He gave your shoulder a little squeeze, eyes flashing with mirth, “Promise.”

—————

You hid your smile behind your glass, watching as Catalina shoved herself away from the table before storming off into the restaurant.

The moment she was out of sight, it was like a weight had been lifted from everyone's shoulders and everyone relaxed.

Finally, you could breathe again.

Catalina had made everyone uncomfortable all night.

When you’d sang Tommy ‘Happy Birthday’, she had loudly and rudely announced her birthday was coming up in the next few days too, and suddenly the cake you’d bought was being held in front of her face and at the end of the song, she was blowing out the candles.

You’d been forced to watch her hang all over your boyfriend at the party and then watch her pout whenever he brushed her off—which meant she was pouting and stomping around throughout the entire event.

It was embarrassing. You’d honestly gotten second hand embarrassment just witnessing her behavior, you couldn’t even imagine what Sebastian must’ve felt all night long.

Some people’s kids. Some people’s kids.

Fortunately, only the close knit group of friends ended up going out on the party bus so Sebastian was free to be around you–to touch you and kiss you as long as you were both careful in public.

You were more than a little relieved that Josie had rented out the back patio of a restaurant to enjoy drinks away from the general public’s watchful eye.

“Sebastian.” You followed the voice to find Tommy lifting his beer from at the end of the table, “I’m so sorry you have to deal with that man.”

Your lover laughed a little, shaking his head, “You should feel sorry for me.” He scrubbed a hand down his face, “She’s much worse. Her behavior tonight was pretty typical—tame.”

“Did she leave for good?” You spoke up, eyes darting from him to the door she stormed through.

He nodded, fingers trailing over the little patch of hair on his chin. Since he didn’t have a beard at the moment, he didn’t have anything else to run his fingers over. “She got an Uber back to the house.”

“Damn.” You tsked softly, “I was hoping she’d go to her cousins again.”

Sebastian stood from his seat across the table, his expression unreadable, and walked around the table before slipping into the empty seat next to you. He took your hand in his, tugging you toward him. You plopped in his lap, his arms looping tightly around you waist to pull you back into his chest.

“Well, hello.” You smiled, turning your head to press your lips to his in a soft, short kiss. “I missed you.”

His eyes twinkled with mirth in the fairy lights hung over your head, a sly smirk tugging at the corner of his pink lips, “I’ve been right here all night.”

You playfully smacked his chest, causing him to laugh, “Shut up, you.” You relaxed back into him, head lolling back against his shoulder. He tightened his arms around you and layed a sweet kiss on your temple, “You know what I mean. It was awful not being able to touch you and–”

“Hang all over me?” Sebastian offered you, smirk growing, “I missed you too.”

“Hey.” You scowled, struggling to fight back a smile, “Don’t act like you don’t love when I hang on you—Don’t act like you don’t hang on me right back.”

“Mhmm.” He buried his face in your neck, pressing little kisses to the skin beneath your jaw, his hands trailing up down your side, squeezing your hips, “Do you want to get out of here?”

You felt heat creep up your cheek, your panties growing wetter and wetter with every touch and soft kiss to your skin, “Yeah. Take me home, handsome.”

—————

Not even twenty minutes later you found yourself standing only in your little, lace panties at the edge of the bed. Nothing more than a trembling, needy puddle at that moment.

You wanted it so bad. Needed him so badly.

A groan rumbled through Sebastian’s chest before he buried his face in the crook of your neck, rutting his throbbing bulge harder into your ass. His hands trailed up your trembling body to grope your breasts, pausing every so often to pinch and twist your pebbled buds between his expert fingers.

“Please.” You whimpered, hips rocking desperately into his, the needy ache in your core almost unbearable. All thoughts vanished from your head, replaced by an instantaneous urgency to be filled. “Please, Sebastian.”

“It’s okay, baby.” He shushed you softly, planting one last little kiss to your flushed cheek before he stepped back. “I’m trying to take my time with you.”

A pitiful whine slipped from your bitten lips before you even had the chance to stop it. The sudden loss of his firm, warm body and the friction of his covered cock, sent you spiraling so fast you nearly cried.

Sebastian didn’t give you the opportunity to protest. A blinked and you found yourself pinned across the bed, your bare breast pressed to the cool sheets, hips digging harshly into the bottom bed frame, and your toes just barely skimming the floor.

“Just relax, honey.” He cooed, breath fanning against your lower back as his fingers hooked on the band of your panties, tugging them sensually down your legs as he dropped to his knees behind you. “I want dessert first.”

A strangled moan tore through your chest when his teeth sunk harshly into your left ass cheek and as if they had a mind of their own, your hips jolted back into his face, a fresh wave of slick dripping from your aching core and down the insides of your thighs.

You cried out when a loud smack echoed throughout the quiet room, followed by a pleasant sting radiating across the right side of your plushy behind.

Sebastian tutted softly to himself, both hands skimming up the sides of your thigh, holding you still as he dipped forward to plant a kiss on the reddening skin. “That wasn’t very nice, pretty girl… Almost knocked my teeth.”

You swallowed thickly, tilting your head to the side until your cheek rested against the bed, willing yourself to relax and surrender to his complete control. “I-,” You couldn’t see him but from the heat in his tone and way he was kneading the plush of your ass he was strung out and moments away from losing his composure. “I’m sorry.”

An amused hum rumbled up from his chest, thick fingers sliding up to dig harshly into your cheeks, pulling the jiggly flesh apart to expose your slick and shiny core to his hungry eyes, “Jesus Christ.” He gave a little delightful laugh, hot breath fanning across your cunt, causing you to clench around nothing and soft whine to tumble from your bitten lip, “You’re fucking soaked, sweetheart.”

You give a little wiggle of your hips, a futile attempt to tempt him as a wave of heat crawled up your neck and settled over the apples of your cheeks. You felt so vulnerable in that moment, in the best kind of way.

He saw you.

He always did.

And he liked it too. If the way he was on his knees for you, panting like that, fingers gripping you like you were moments away from disappearing before his very eyes, was any indication.

“Mmm.” Your core tightened in anticipation as his hot breath fanned over your wet folds, closer now, and his fingers slipped down to pull your puffy lips apart further, “Gorgeous.” He cooed softly, dipping down to press a light kiss to your clit. “Look at this perfect little pussy.”

“S-Sebastian!” You gasped out, spine arching as he planted an open mouth kiss to your swollen bud before his tongue darted out to lick a long strip up your slit. “Oh, God.” Your eyes rolled back in your head, hands scrambling for purchase in the comforter beneath you as he lapped at your slick, dragging the warm, wet muscle down to flick over your sensitive nub. “Please.”

An appreciative groan rumbled against you and molten heat tore through you, settling deep in your naval as he got to work, sucking your swollen clit into his hot, wet mouth.

“Oh.” Your hips rocked back against his face when his tongue slipped up to poke at your weeping hole, thrusting it shallowy into your velvety walls. “God—fuck. Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”

Sebastian moaned into you, large hands snapping up to grasp your hips, rolling you over his face and you got with the program pretty damn quick, one hand reaching back to tangle in his tousled hair as you rutted your hip back against his face.

You nearly sobbed when his tongue slipped out, returning to flick your clit, tracing intricate patterns over the swollen nerve as a finger skimmed down from your hip to circle your little hole.

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” You chanted out, slick body sliding across the cool marble with every desperate grind of your hips. “Please. Give it to me. Oh, please.”

“I love it when you beg.” Sebastian mumbled against you before his warm, wet mouth wrapped around your clit, giving it a messy and salacious kiss as he thrust two thick fingers into your pulsing hole.

“‘You’re gonna make me cum.” You gasped out, thighs beginning to tremble as the coil tightened in your naval and your vision began to swim. “Oh. Oh, god.” And then he crooked his fingers, brushing the pads of them perfectly against the spongy spot inside you. “Haah…Fuck…. Right there, Oh! Right there!”

He doubled his efforts, fingers working quicker over your g-spot, mouth sucking harder on your pulsing bud. Sebastian was always a messy eater but nothing could have ever prepared for the sounds he made as he feasted on you and how they echoed through the spacious room.

“Want you to cum on my face.” He grunted, hot tongue darting out to lick languidly and lap at your swollen bud. “Make a mess, baby. Can you do that for me? Can you cum on my tongue and fingers?”

“Yes, God, yes.”

“That’s it. Good girl.” He added another finger, thrusting them rapidly in and out of your velvety walls, curling them with each pass over that special spot. “Give it to me, gorgeous.” He panted out, voice low and thick with desperation.

Sebastian’s lips wrapped around your clit again, giving it a harsh suck as he shook his head from side to side and you shattered.

A sound you’d never made before—something between a wail and a groan, tore through your chest and the coil snapped. Your entire body tightened around his fingers, vision swarming and ears ringing as you sagged bonelessly against the bed.

He worked you through it, slipping his fingers out as his tongue dipped down to lap at the creamy slick gushing from your pulsing core, his thumb rubbing expanding circles on your oversensitive bud to prolong your mind shattering release.

“God damn, baby.” He laughed, giving your ass a delightful little smack as he rose to his feet and draped himself over your damp back, littering kisses along the side of your face and down your neck. “You did so fucking good, gorgeous.”

You mumbled incoherently, head still fuzzy and your heart thumping rapidly in your chest as you struggled to catch your breath and gather your bearings.

“The way you were humping my face—Fuck… Just about came in my pants.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck, sucking and licking at the skin there as he rolled his hips against yours. “God, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

You moaned softly in response, one hand flying back to grasp his hip, tugging at the band of his black briefs as you pressed your ass harder against his covered length.

“I gotta fuck you, baby.” He groaned, one hand swiftly drew the fabric down his thighs, freeing his thick, leaking length. “Need to be inside you so bad.”

“Fuck me.” Your plea turned into a gasp, shaking body jolting forward as he skimmed the fat of his cock through your slit, coating himself in your slick. “Please. Oh, god.”

Sebastian didn't give you any warning, grasping your hips and yanking you back as he thrust forward, burying himself fully in your warm, wet cunt, splitting you open.

You cried out, hands scrambling for purchase as your vision swam. No matter how well he prepped and stretched you beforehand, you wouldn’t ever get used to the size of him.

“Fuckkkk.” He breathed out, fingers biting harshly into the flesh of your hips as the front of his hips met the smooth skin of your ass. “Need a minute. Holy fuck.”

You wiggled impatiently, a pathetic whine spilling from your swollen lips as you struggled to fuck yourself back on his cock. Your toes were off the ground and you had nothing to steady yourself, he was in complete control.

“Impatient little thing, aren’t ya?” He chuckled, one hand remained on your hip as his other danced up your spine, leaving goosebumps in his wake. He pressed down on your upper back, forcing you harder into the sheets. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of ya.”

Your wailing moan pierced through the air when his hips snapped forward again, cock sinking up to the hilt. He sets a brutal pace, fucking you hard and fast, his heavy balls tapping your swollen clit with every deep, deliberate thrust.

“So fucking tight.” He grit out, fingers biting painfully into your hips as he pushed and pulled you with every purposeful flex of his hips, cock pistoning in and out of your warm, wet channel. “Feels so good, baby. This pretty pussy was made for me.”

Your slick, limp body slid further across the bed with every punishing thrust, incomprehensible babbles and whines spilling from your lips as your lover lost himself in your pulsing cunt.

“Who’s making you feel good?” Sebastian leaned forward to wrap an arm around your middle, angling your hips higher and you cried out, the fat head of his cock bumping the spot that made stars burst behind your eyes with every thrust. “Who’s pussy is this? Hmm?”

When you didn’t respond, he pressed his chest to your back, keeping the steady, brutal rhythm of his thrusts as his free hand slid up to wrap around your throat, “Answer me.” His lips skimmed across your upper back, pausing to sink his teeth into the smooth skin of your shoulders, his pace never faltering, “Tell me your mine. Tell me.”

“I’m yours.” You mewled out, eyes rolling back into your head as your pleasure began to crest, thighs trembling and cunt tightening around his twitching cock in waves. “I’m yours. Gonna cum. You’re gonna make me cum.”

“That’s right.” He panted out, burying his face in the crook of his neck, his entire large body covering your much smaller one as he picked up the pace, thrusts growing erotic and sloppy. “Cum for me. Need you to cum with me.”

He sounded just as wrecked, if not more so, as you were and the sight of him alone when you stole a peek at him over your shoulder, was enough to send your barreling over the edge.

His brows were furrowed in concentration, head hanging, jaw slack, and eyes clenched shut as his entire body rolled over yours. His hair was flying in every which direction, his skin was shimmering with a thin layer of sweat in the dim light, and you swore you’d never see anything more beautiful than him in that moment as he completely lost himself in the pleasure only you could provide.

A hoarse cry was his only warning before your body convulsed beneath his as you came again, walls clenching so tightly you milked him of his own orgasm. One hand held your hip in a bruising grip, the other tightening around your throat as he flexed his hips forward one last time, pressing his cock as deep as possible before emptying himself in your cunt with a breathless shout of your name.

“Fuck.” He croaked out before collapsing on you, his entire body weight pressing you harder into the pleasantly soft bed, softening cock still buried in your twitching core as you both took a minute to compose yourselves.

“Holy…”

“Yeah.” You laughed a little, body completely boneless beneath his and your legs shaking a little, “Holy.”

“Give me a minute.” He choked out, burying his face in your back, “I’ll be ready to go again.”

You giggled breathlessly, deliberately clenching around his softened length just to hear him groan, “You better, Stan. I’m not through with you yet.”

—————

Taglist

@justlovelifeblog @inlovewith3 @buckybarnesandmarvel @sleutherclaw @snugglingbucky @perlaluna @littlewhiterose

@idontwannagomrstarkk @abihaaa14 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @sebsgirl71479 @getofffmydick @eccentricnos @barnesml @aira1995 @sweetwritingfanficfriend @dhoruwolfie @unaxv @nerdytif

[dahliadrawthings]

How did you get into Blood Moon? And I'd love to know about your character/s. (I'm assuming you have more than one 😅)

Hi, Lena! 💖

Hmm... I think either one of the Interactive Fiction author I follow reblogged a post about Barb's update for Blood Moon or I found randomly a post about it. Honestly I don't remember, it was in 2021. :'D

I have only Selene. She's my one and only werewolf girl. 🫶

I'm so jealous of people who can make more than one MC for an IF. I can only make one for every game I play, or either reuse another I was obsessed with and that's it, haha. Like, for example, it's so damn hard to visualize Eva for Thicker Than and I still feel like something is not "okay" with her look. I drew so far 3 different version of her I think and while I love every version it's still feels like it's not my Eva... so yeah :'D

[cherishbendy]

Buster Wuster!

Here is my Poppy Oc!...or so to say Huggysona? I don't remember the term lol.

Anywho. I made him around 2021. He is around 13ft! I loved to think the Wuggies such as Kissy and Huggy were 10ft. As when the game came out I searched it up and say "10ft!" so yep! He is just Kissy Missy and Huggy Wuggy combined with colors. He is also mixed with thr ink demon. I mixed up 3 things I love together! Don't judge me okay? I was immature 3 years ago😒...

This is the first time I drew him. Yes. What the hell? GIRL? HELP?. But yep! He has changed along the way. No beans. Dramatic story. Human appearance. (Okay well...i'm still trying to redesign him-) and emotionally emotional 😍.. Anyways uh that's all I have so far! Maybe I could explain more about him later on? But from then on. I'll upload 2 days. Maybe. GOODBYE!

[angel-inrealtime]

November F1c Prompts Day 30

A/N: finally! It's only taken an extra,,,4 months, or so. Oops. I love this little sunshine verse. I'm so happy that I could share it with everyone who's enjoyed it 💕

30. Nociception: Pain

July 2020, Styrian Grand Prix, post-FP1

“He’s alright.” Michael tries, looking to Blake for support.

The other man clears his throat. “Yeah but maybe don’t...the real wound is pride, y’know?”

Your fingernails have dug into the skin of your arms, crescent moons only just not deep enough to scratch, and you raise an eyebrow at the pair. “I’m not gonna bitch at him for crashing, guys. Come on. I just...I wanna know he’s alright with my own eyes.”

He doesn’t make a habit of it. Which is good. You’re not sure you could take it if this feeling were a regular occurrence.

“I’m alright.” He sounds sheepish, from over your shoulder.

You whip around to look at him as soon as you hear his voice. “Daniel...”

“No I am, I promise.” He’s limping a bit but tucks you under his arm and kisses the top of your head. “Just totally lost the back end, we fucked the setup, I think. I hit my knee and there’s a wicked bruise, but I’m good. They let me out and said I can just take painkillers.”

You wrap your arms around him and squeeze. “Glad you’re okay.” You breathe.

/

2021

“How are you doing, love?” He peels the covers from over your head, endlessly gentle. “Feeling any better?”

You chance cracking your eyes open and realise he drew the blackout blinds over before pulling the covers off your head. “Head still hurts., a bit.” It takes your brain a second to catch up. “Wait, when did you…”

He grins as he sinks down onto the bed, careful not to jostle you. “You were dead to the world when I got back, I thought I’d let you rest.”

You try moving and find it doesn’t make you want to throw up anymore, then drag yourself closer to rest your head on his chest, burrowing into his hoodie. “Missed you.”

“Lil old me?” He drawls, definitely trying to coax a laugh out of you (it works). “I should be so lucky.”

“It’s true.” You say, aiming for demure. He’s already ruining it with barely contained giggles. “Days and days I sat here, wondering when my handsome cowboy would return. So much I fell ill, the most terrible migraine.” You take the hand from his chest and put it palm up on your own forehead, feigning a swoon.

He’s laughing outright now, catches your hand and settles you mostly on top of him. “Well, nothin’ to worry about now darlin’. I’m here.” He hums against your mouth when you lean down to kiss him.

“m’hungry.”

“I made dinner.”

You kiss him again, day long migraine fog leaving. “You’re my favourite.”

/

Belgian Grand Prix (post race), 2022

“There you...” You stop in your tracks, realise he’s alone and the lights are off, just the outline of his back (still in fireproofs) visible in the light from the door you’ve opened. “Daniel? Are you..?”

You let yourself in and feel your way across the small room to him, heart clenching when you realise his shoulder is shaking under your hand. “Danny...” You start, then you feel more than see him shake his head.

“I just...” His voice sounds raw and you wonder for a second if he and Michael fought, but you would have heard, this place is so small and on top of each other. “I wanted it to be like a big fuck you, right. But it was just...” He sniffs as you settle next to him, arms snaking around his waist. “Kind of pathetic. I tried so fucking hard, like...”

“I know, my love, I know you did.” You make your voice as soft as you can, like it can settle around him like a blanket, take away the pain in his voice. The doorhandle rattles and you only turn your head towards the door as the light starts to appear when it opens. “No.”

It shuts again instantly, and he tries to laugh. “Scary voice.”

You burrow as close to him as you can. “Everyone who matters knows how hard you’ve tried, okay? I know it doesn’t make all the...noise, any quieter. But...”

“It doesn’t matter.” He says quietly. “It is what it is.”

“Of course it matters, Daniel.” You reiterate quietly. “If you’re gonna be throwing around cliches maybe start with ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink’. Y’know, if the horse is a team, and leading it is giving useful feedback, and the water is making a good car.”

He laughs wetly, one hand playing with the silver bracelet that matches his favourite Tiffany’s necklace. You stopped differentiating jewellery years ago, it all sits in the same box on the dressing table at home now. “Message received loud and clear.”

You push your head against his, unbothered by his sweatiness. “It’s okay that it hurts, too. It always does, when you-“

“Try your best but you don’t succeed?”

“Did you just...” You can almost feel him trying not to laugh. “Did you just quote Coldplay at me?”

“Who could say.”

“Daniel, I was trying to have a supportive partner moment and you’ve just quoted Coldplay lyrics at me.”

The laughter spills over and he brings his arms around you, pressing his face into your neck. “You’re right, that’s unforgivable.”

-

2025

“You’re so pretty.” He says right near your ear, hand curling around your waist.

You’ve managed to avoid FIA end of season functions for the most part, because Daniel doesn’t particularly enjoy them. But Christian had insisted, this year. “I feel like I’m too old for this and it shows.” You say back around a smile for the cameras swirling around you all.

“Nah,” he puts his mouth close to your ear and you can feel how cheeky his smile is (dread the day that Elio or Allegra work out how to master the same cheeky grin), “Big MILF vibes, I rate it.”

Max, of all people, overhears and they set each other off laughing, even as you roll your eyes and let Geri pull you in for a photo with her.

It’s boring, mostly, even if you’re grateful for any occasion which gets Daniel in a suit (particularly the green Gucci one, still love it as much as you had in the first place). The food is nice and the wine is good, although you’re not particularly looking forward to pumping at the end of the night just to throw it away. It’s a rare night without the kids, Daniel’s parents happy for the excuse to travel and babysit (even if they’re about to have a full summer of all of you).

It’s nice actually, after a couple of years of not being at every race – and preoccupied with small children when you were – to catch up with people, drink and dance and be merry. You’re sitting down with a water though, when Daniel approaches.

He grins at you and rests his hands on your shoulders. “All good, bub?”

You let your heel dangle off your foot, stretching it out with a groan. “I’m out of practice, my feet are killing me.”

Daniel laughs, digging his fingers into your shoulder muscles. “I think we have more than fulfilled our obligations and we can go, Actually. If you wanted to head off.” He offers his hands and uses them to pull you to your aching feet. “There’s a gigantic bath tub and a very nice bottle of wine at the hotel for us, I think.” He says as he kisses your cheek.

“Well, now you definitely have my interest.”

It takes another half an hour to do the rounds saying goodbye (you might manage to slip out easily enough, but Daniel is a capital P Presence in a room), so by the time you’re at the top of the stairs outside your feet are throbbing again. You might groan a bit.

“Here.” His suit jacket lands on your shoulders and Daniel stands in front of you expectantly. “Piggy back.”

You can’t help but laugh. “No, you’ll trip and we’ll fall.”

“That’s the most insulting thing anyone’s ever said to me.” He huffs. “C’mon. I got you.”

“If our children end up orphans I’m going to make your afterlife hell.” You threaten.

He laughs loudly as you slip off your shoes and jump onto his back. Daniel hooks his arms under your thighs and you can feel the smugness radiating off his face. “Ye of little faith.”

“You’ve made it one step.”

To his credit he makes it down all of the steps safely, and you’re both laughing by the bottom, sore feet forgotten at the prospect of the rest of the night to yourselves.

[syndromealice-blog]

I already drew a New Year Snape Bahahah

But really, it was a hard year. I am sure I already have PTSD from bombing. I have a job at home tho! Real job and I don’t even need to go anywhere and physically abuse my ill body like I did in 2022 and in 2021.

I don’t draw like god or some kind of good artist, but still I hoped feedback for my arts would be somehow more active, but it’s okay, I have couple of very good friends, thanks to snapedom! I love y’all very much.

Also I hope you’ll remember guys, war is not gone yet. And Ukrainians fighting for existence. Sharing truthful information, not some shitty russian propaganda would be great from my English speaking audience. As much as donates to Ukrainian army, if you can, of course.

I eat so much medicine, it keeps me alive as much as mental as physical. I don’t wanna die anymore, I don’t believe I say that really, because year was tough. Not as tough as when I lived in Finland with my abusive mother and stepfather. Even under rocket attacks it’s better than with them lol.

If you read until that, yay, you are interested in my life I guess. I would like to have a small gift from you: reblog of my arts, really. If you have any other social medias, repost them with my name on it and with link to my Tumblr. I would be really grateful! I want people to like my art, it’s very important for me as an artist soul. I didn’t want to accept it openly, but it’s true and I am sure for the most of artists it’s also true. Nothing to be ashamed of! And you can support me financially if you can and want to on my kofi page🥹 https://ko-fi.com/syndromealice

I don’t know why tumblr didn’t let me just make an active link💀

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

ya got any ideas for gawain in your au? came up with a neat oc idea for gawain and the green knight. there's a lot of potential for a cute little monster transformation story seeing as a lot of the mythos features the green knight as being somehow transformed by morgan ^_^

I'm so glad you asked this... I actually had an old concept of this...

After ditching the G.S.A..... Morgan took on another apprentice (after Sir Dragato), "Gawain," and he's come to claim the seat as leader of the GSA.

He knew he wasn't as strong as the other knights... and a part of him always knew he'd never reach the legendary status as the others, so he made a deal with the devil (Morgan). He was her pawn... her puppet to secretly control the GSA in her name.

Gawain was supposed to be Meta's call to action to return & Dragato's "ah- ha" moment (my mentor was a scumbag to me).

But in the end, Gawain (my OC)... I had to cut him from the story. They took away too much from Dragato's storyline... and Meta's call to action is a different one.

So, these are my HCs if Gawain were in "Metamorphosed."

And @camachine, if you want to use it in your story, please feel free, you have my full blessing~

And for those of you who haven't read @camachine's "Metamorphosed" please do so before you keep reading, there will be several references/spoilers. (and it's a good read)

Inspo.

I drew reference from Gawain's original story "Gawain & the Green Knight," his original story... But I also drew from the modern retelling of The Green Knight (2021) the film She's his mother.

This is also considered a continuation of the previous work...minus the Gwynn revival...

Okay, so in "Metamorphosed," Gawain is the nephew of Arthur. The son of his other half-sister (Anna)... another one of Sir Uther's illegitimate kids and Morgan's sister. Yes, their mother cursed the Pendragon's name.

In the OG Arthurian legend, she's called Morgause (sometimes she's called Anna)... and it's too close to Morgan for me, so she's Anna.

This means she cursed the kids too... (Morgan had to get her pettiness from somewhere), however, if they wanted to avoid the curse... they just had to carry out their mother's will.

However, Anna wants to move on and live in peace, so she cuts Morgan out of her life. She married the love of her life (King Lot). She gets pregnant with Gawain and BAM! She dies giving birth to him... (Again, being a Pendragon means you're cursed!!)

King Lot falls into grief: and guess who he blames... baby Gawain! Since then, Gawain has put a lot of pressure on his son from the moment he was born... he would say to his young son, "You better make yourself useful and make yourself worth it..."

From the start, little Gawain had such an innocent desire to just be a great knight... so he could earn the love of his father... but he was never good enough for him... he just needed to be the perfect heir & knight so maybe... just maybe for once, his father to look at him...

No, in fact, his King Lot would deny he even had a son... because it would remind him that his dear wife was gone! As a result, Gawain would hide away in some far part of the castle... so he wouldn't be seen by anyone.

Then, one night, a monster comes and raids the castle... a basilisk (they assume it's one of Nightmare's monsters), but Gawain sees a ghostly figure... a green knight?

Wanting to prove himself, he dives right in to save his father. Everyone else is afraid, but Gawain isn't (well, he is.... but he's not missing out on the chance to prove himself to his father!) He chases after this ghost knight... while Morgan puts out an illusionary spell.

Making it look like this basilisk has killed Prince Gawain instantly (petrifying & swallowing him whole) & King Lot is now full of grief and regret. His son protected him despite all those years of coldness... and still loved him. Desperately wishing he could see his son again and apologize to his son.

Meanwhile, the real Prince Gawian follows the green knight (who is actually Dame Morgan in disguise) into an abandoned castle... and defeats him. (In refer. to the film The Green Knight 2021)

The ghost congratulates him on having their test of bravery and virtue... and says, "Since you've defeated me, you are now the Green Knight... and have earned my axe & title." However, Gawain is not easily convinced "No-no, one ever gets anything for free in this life... that's what my father says..."

Telling himself there must be more to this...The green knight offers it to him three times, sweetening the deal each time: "Along with the axe, I'll give my castle as well, and you'll be the perfect knight that you've always wanted to be..."

Gawain is tempted by each one, but something in his gut tells him not to... just as he's about to leave...the third offer is him something he could never refuse... "You'll get to have a mother again~"

With this... they'll be a family again... THIS IS IT!? Gawain (like in the original tale, Gawain gives into his human desire but "the desire to stay alive,"... it's the desire to see his mother).

Without hesitation, he grabs the axe only to be cursed instantly... As a result, Morgan makes him the"Green Knight..." endowing him with her dark Faye magic (making him into a monster- Basilisk) and in the process, he also loses his memories...

With Morgan rewriting it to this narrative:

Morgan was his mother, and their father abandoned them after he was turned into a monster (by Nightmare). He was afraid to be associated with him because of Sir Uther's regimen in the G.S.A. (and wanted no retribution.) And his cruel father even wanted to prove his allegiance to Uther & the GSA... but his mother wouldn't allow it. His mother saved him from his evil father, and as a result, he (his father) left them. And plans to destroy the GSA and make it a safer world for her and her precious son!

Basically, this gives him (Gawain) reason to hate the Pendragons (Sir Arthur & his family) as well as having unwavering love & loyalty to "his mother," who did everything to protect him because "she loves him so much"~ Plus (him being half-monster) it's a great reason for keeping him from going outside so often so he's not recognized as King Lot's. (The curse altered his appearance, but if you look hard enough, you can see it's Gawain under there.)

Lucky for Morgan... (despite knowing they had a prince)... the kingdom barely knew what the young prince looked like. Only coming out when it was necessary... Gawain did this intentionally so as not to upset his father with his present. (Oh how convenient~)

(Almost if not all) Arthurian interpretations Morgan always uses her kids as tools for revenge... Gawain's no different~

The orange color represents the Lothian Kingdom (King Lot), but after being cursed, the original color is turned red (red - Morgan).

Their name changed to Yvain (In Arthurian lore that is the name of Morgan le Faye) And then his monster form... Basilisk.

According to my source, a basilisk is a "hybrid chicken-serpent" but to make things easier for myself I just keep thinking about one one from Harry Potter (but @camachine feel free to change up the monster form for the guy already.)

But his smaller, default form would be a snake. (Basically, to symbolize he's a "snake" within the GSA.) He'd collect secrets and intel through the walls of the GSA and bring it back to Morgan.

She plans to destroy everything Sir Uther built (the GSA)... with Gawain being her most valuable chess piece. Taking over the GSA and installing him as the new leader... she's more than fulfilling her promise to help become "the perfect knight," she's basically ensuring he'll be that best. (She'll just happen to be rulering through him... Momma's gotta get something outta this!)

Not only that (despite having his memories erased), Gawain's core hasn't changed. He's still the same young lad desperate for love & praise... the thing he's never gotten from his father. And because of that, he was willing to do anything for his dear mother~

It's actually easy for Morgan to be, good to this kid... after all, she's still his auntie... (She's basically Mother Gothel from Rapunzel...)

A part of her is still upset with he sister (Anna) for abandoning her (for not wanting to get involved with their mother's curse). Using her sister's son as her pawn was just her way of getting back at her... dear sister... Speaking of siblings let's talk about Sir Arthur.

After finding out that she had a half-brother, she discovers that Uther actually acknowledged him (Arthur) as his son and denied her as his daughter... UNACCEPTABLE!

So what does she do... make him feel the same jealousy & inadequacy she's felt... all those years Uther denied her. And what does she do... she rubs her loving relationship with her son right in his face... (Kindly remind him of how bad he screwed up his relationship with his son...)

Dame Morgan rolls up with Gawain (now being called Ywain her son), who has just been accepted as one of the higher-ups... since someone got kicked off (Arthur) of the high council.

And how did Gawain manage to get it in such a short amount of time, you may ask?

Remember, our dear Gawain was a prince after all... he still had muscle & instinctual memory of his royal training. was clever, polite, graceful, respectful... (he's everything a prince should be... ) And Morgan can take credit for it all, for raising him so well~

(fake) Mother & son just happened to be off to celebrate, But then she sees Arthur as they're leaving and "OH HOW COULD SHE MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY!"

Sir Arthur (of course, was suspicious)... he never heard of Morgan being married before... let alone having a son. (Especially after flirting with his wife all those years ago...) Plus, this boy looked familiar...

(And he should... Arthur met King Lot and his son... years ago that twice even...)

But Morgan's a grade-A+ actress... and can play "the bitter ex-wife who's still trying to forget about her divorce..." perfectly. And doesn't miss the chance to remind him about his deceased wife Gwynn... who was killed by(Arthur) his own hand. And she ever so gracefully brings up her son... & ever so subtly shows off their bond, rubbing it in Arthur's face.

And Gawain (ever the faithful son) sees what she's doing and allows his mother to fawn over him in public. Even allowing her to call him "her his little apple." A nickname she'd call him ever since he was a little lad (that was his favorite memory of her). (TOO BAD IT'S FABRICATED... :')

I definitely wrote this within the timeline where Arthur stabs Falspar while he was trying to kill Meta Knight and fails... (or this could fit around where Falspar & Dragato leave the GSA after the wedding)

(But move it around wherever you want! :3 )

I'd like to think it's after the stabbing because in the sense Morgan's basically saying: "Oh look, it's my darling son that I love very much! Arthur, what did you do with yours... oh that's right, you stabbed yours... I'd never do that! Look at what you lost! SUCKS TO BE YOU!"

Arthur sees this sweet, touching scene between mother & son, and he can't help but envy them. (Reminding him all too well that he's all alone in the world, because of his own actions.) After successfully guilt-tripping Arthur, the two gleefully leave him in tears. Little did he know Arthur had just let the most dangerous duo in the galaxy slip from his grasp!

At that moment... had Arthur not been wrapped in his own personal problems he could have recognized (if he, looked hard enough) Gawain and saved him.

But even if he did... by then (after the incident,) Arthur's reputation had been already destroyed. Had he not wasted his time accusing an innocent man (Meta Knight) of treason. And now, because of his own decisions, a guilty woman walks free (Morgan), and the galaxy's gonna suffer for it (Dammit, Arthur!)

Despite putting on a "show" she's actually a good (evil) mom... she's supportive, kind, nurturing, loving, but not out of the kindness of her heart. She's merely fulfilling the end of the bargain...

To be still under her spell, Morgan must continue to fulfill her promises to him. Castle (given), perfect knight (taking over the GSA), and loving mother (check).

As long as Gawain believes her to be his mother, then he's forever under her spell. (Because that's what he wanted). He does have the power to save himself (the red flags are all there) once he realizes that he can break free... (but it's not that simple.)

Morgan poisoned his mind, yes, but this is a sweet poison. In the memories she created, he gave him the normal childhood he'd always wanted. A loving mother who adores him he loses that and will have to accept that he was a lonely prince who was ignored most of his life and is hated by his father.

As long as Gawain wants her love, he'll continue to be under her spell.

I wrote in a way that Gawain could save himself if only he'd realize that he doesn't have to be perfect... that he was always worthy of love, and that he doesn't need her (Morgan's) love, and that he was always enough. The spell would be broken!

(The original tale of Gawain & the Green Knight was supposed to represent one's acceptance of human flaws and that one can not be perfect... so that's why it's the key to set him free! SELF LOVE & ACCEPTANCE!)

Or if King Lot can find & recognize his son and snap him out of this mess. After the incident, Lot vowed to find the body of his son... but has yet to find it, so he's holding out hope that he's still alive. But then, again Lotty (King Lot) ... had you just loved your son properly none of this would have happened!

Those are my HC for Gawain, if he existed in "Metamorphosed," @camachine, thank you so much for your question! Even though I had scrapped him from KBASW, I'm so glad I got to revive him for your Kirby (au), it was so much fun! Hope you enjoyed it!

[vinvantae]

Can you do a New Year's Eve with Lewis! I loveeee holidays

Of course! Love a holiday fic 🧡

The air was filled with joyous and drunken laughter as everyone celebrated the year coming to a close. You found yourself leant over the railings of the balcony, taking a small moment away from the crowds to catch your breath. Gather your thoughts before the year drew to a close.

You’d had a bit of a hectic year, your career had massively been put on hold and you’d spent most of your time alone as your husband was out racing across the world and you didn’t want to distract him by sulking around every race. Especially with the championship battle being extra tough this year.

But you knew he was in the same boat. The final race win being stolen from him, ultimately meant the championship was lost. Both of you had ended the 2021 feeling pretty down, the only thing keeping you going through it all was each other.

So when you felt a warm hand on the small of your back, it was like all of the tension melted out of you. You lifted your gaze and smiled softly at Lewis as he rubbed your back gently.

“You okay?” He asked, his arm moving to wrap around your waist. “Lost you.”

“Yeah, just needed to get some air.” You hummed softly, kissing his cheek. “Got a lot to think about with this year ending.”

The driver hummed in agreement. “Definitely. You ready to get back to work?”

“I am. You ready to get your title back?” You turned and wrapped your arms around his neck, tracing your fingertips across the soft skin.

He smiled. “I’ll try my best. But, we’ve still got 3 months of break to enjoy first, baby.”

“Got anything in mind?”

Lewis took a moment to think, both of his arms linking around your waist - pulling you a little closer. “I’m not sure, definitely need a proper relax though.”

“We can sort it out next year.”

The driver groaned at your joke. “Very funny. Speaking of, it’s nearly time… wanna stay out here? I bet there will be fireworks.”

“Mhmm, sounds perfect, my love.”

And as if on cue, you could hear the countdown begin indoors.

“TEN! NINE! EIGHT!”

“Here’s to another year of us.” Lewis smiled.

“SEVEN! SIX! FIVE!”

“And to many more.”

“FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!”

Lewis took your face in his and gave you a deep kiss as the world lit up around you - fireworks crashing in the sky, the clinking of glasses and cheers rang in your ears as you felt his soft lips moved against yours. You felt like a giddy teenager all over again when he pulled back and smiled at you.

“Happy new year, y/n.”

“Happy new year, Lewis.” You brushed your thumb across his jaw. “So I’m happy to be starting another year of my life with you.”

He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “Forever, baby. Now, fancy heading to bed? I’m getting too old for this and want to sleep.”

“Sounds perfect.”

**************************************************

Short and sweet. Hope you enjoyed 🧡🧡

[get-rammed]

The way you’ve created your versions of Monty and the AUs is actually amazing, (I actually love Monty even more because of your work ) but I gotta know, how did you come up with everything?

(Like personality types, AU specifics, etc.)

💫Depression💫 /hj

More or less my Monty has always been...Like that™. Some may say a soft boy

So originally the SB designs got leaked way back in 2020 on a calender or something, and I went "oh I like the gator" and made these. A design that's familiar to the game, but still my type™

Which the first one was my first ever piece in CSP :)

And Montgomery lived pretty rent free in my mind. I can't find them, but I had doodled him a bunch on my work sheets through the next 2 months.

Then I kind of forgot about him till sept 2021 with some trailers dropping

Which this ⬆️ was born out of. I had a general idea in my head how this guy worked/had my own headcanons based off what little we had. Which was pretty far off from actual canon lmao.

The orignal black spike bits in the neck and ankles were meant to represent corruption, but just kinda, became part of the design for me. I phased out the ankle and elbow spikes when doing my series since I threw out the direct corruption theory

When the game finally dropped, it reignited my love of the gator. Which was when I made this. ⬇️

I had no real ideas in my head at the time, just "Ha ha what if you were a maintenance worker that Monty liked to hit on-"

And it snowballed. So very hard.

I went from maintenance staff to "oh well I drew them with Monty on their boots and they're in his colors...hmm what if every animatronic had a Handler?" and then it rolled into "okay how do I explain my ideas of a pre Glamrock Monty?" and "Idk I'd like to think he was chill before he got his upgrades-" and "Hmm. What if the viewer insert was super close with Monty?" which was when I made my first video. I posted it to tik tok and made myself food.

Needless to say I was not prepared for how fast it took off. And I had planned on making more either way because I like to tell stories, even if nobody is listening. But the excitement from people spurred me on

And I drew a ton of art and wrote a lot of things, but I got bored. But with the dlc, my hyperfixation reemerged with a fucking vengeance

So many people wanted to hear my story, and I appreciated it immensely, and I still do 🥺💕💕💕

I love all of you 😭💕💕💕💕

And my Monty gained his iconic snakebites when I stole them off a different oc of mine. Zel ⬇️

As for everyone else. They're just random ideas I had and went "I can work with that." because my brain never shuts off. I have. So many ideas. It's just a matter of getting the energy for it all.

The werebeings AU was always kind of a thing, as evidenced in the sept 2021 doodle. He reemerged later on in my art and I essentially moved the microscope around till I was happy. And we got the dork we have now

[luckychi7]

New Appreciation and Love: Ino Yamanaka

Ino Yamanaka was always a character that was really cool due to her ninjutsu ability with the mind transfer jutsu, but especially by Part 2 she became a pretty gorgeous and a real hottie. Nobody can deny how beautiful and sexy Ino Yamanaka is out of the rest of the Konoha girls.  In terms of characterization I did feel she was kind of underutilized from the middle portion of the timeskip, but in the War Arc she had a few highlighted moments that really stood out such as redirecting the Ten-Tails attack away from the battlefield. At the same time, also being able to channel all of her inner and connecting it to the Allied Shinobi Forces that was just so awesome. 

When it came to the series finale with the manga I definitely had my criticisms with how certain scenarios occurred, and felt there could have been more to make a truly satisfying conclusion. Fast forward to 2021-2022 when I decided to revisit the naruto series again and found a few new appreciation for things I didn’t really have before.  Last year, I came to realize that there was some level of fondness I have towards NaruHina. is it perfect? No of course not, but they’ve got moments that are nice for the most part.  This led me to reflect on other aspects of the series, and Ino Yamanaka is one of those aspects. < - no no no the “She’s so sexy  I could just bust right now!” lol! It’s actually far beyond a waifu fantasy notion many hold. I’ll be perfectly honest when I say it was a very simple aspect that really drew my attention about Ino Yamanaka after all these years.  

We are nearly a decade away removed since the Naruto manga and 6 years since Shippuden ended, and the one consistent topic people love to address are the same old pairing wars that’s been going on for years, or who is the better girl? Sakura Haruna?, or Hinata Hyuga? That is the conversation still going on to this very day in the Naruto fandom, and I’ve reached a point where I appreciate both Sakura & Hinata equally.  “Okay Lucky, where does Ino come into the picture?”  ->  This is exactly the point I’ve been building to and that is to me Ino Yamanaka is a really under appreciated character.

Only a small minority of the Naruto fandom these days showcase their support & love for Ino. Not to say that Ino isn’t exactly loved in the fanbase, but compared to Sakura and Hinata, I haven’t noticed a lot of love and appreciation for The Mind-Transfer Kunoichi. 

Finally,  Ino Yamanaka is great character because she’s very outspoken in speaking her mind about things that aren’t appealing to her,  but she’s also got an endearing personalty in showing kindess to her friends/family.  At the same time, She is very motivated in her drive when it pertains to the mission objective and running an amazing flower shop while being the head of the intelligence division. Unlike the other two Konoha girls, I really love that Ino was able to move on from her crush on Sasuke and really take things into perspective about the ninja world - > even if that part was breezed over in the main series. Yes, she is definitely quite the looker in being sexy, but the truth of the matter is Ino’s beauty simply compliments her character.  Was she underutilized during the run of the manga? Of course, but there is a lot more to her character beyond looks and people should recognize that about our beautiful flower girl ninja.  That is what makes her an underrated yet amazing kunoichi, Ino Yamanaka. 

A short tweet I made in support of Ino Yamanaka:  https://twitter.com/7LuckyChi/status/1660094283188248578?s=20

 That’s pretty much all I gotta for the time being but more support and love for Ino will be coming from yours truly, but until then I hope you all have an amazing day, night, etc. and remember show some love and appreciation for Ino Yamanaka! 

[frodo-with-glasses]

🌳Why is it called the Fig Tree AU??🌳

Okay so buckle up because this is actually a really funny story.

Picture this: it’s December of 2021. Marvel has failed me, and I have utterly fallen out of love it—even with writing fanfics to fix it—and I’m going through a tough time in my life and starting to feel like I need a new fandom so I don’t go insane. I’m already considering jumping back into LotR and reading the books again when I overhear a coworker quote it as a joke, and I think, “right, that HAS to be a sign”.

Around the same time, I’m chatting with everyone’s favorite velociraptor @redbootsindoriath (otherwise known as Tarva Baggins) after watching the movies with my family again for the first time in a few years.

“You know,” I said, “I think I’m actually starting to understand why people thirst over Aragorn; shame he’s not my type tho”

“Haha,” said Tarva, “Aragorn with a dad bod lol”

And I was like “THERE’S NO WAY” and Tarva was like “I mean?? after being king in peacetime for a while, maybe??”

And then Tarva drew him for me and I about passed out from equal parts laughter and embarrassment and also “dangit he’s cute tho”

(That drawing will never ever see the light of day unless Tarva chooses to embarrass me with it so don’t even try)

So that’s what gave me the final impetus to jump in and read LotR again. The plan was to read the books, live-blog it (mostly for Tarva’s entertainment and possibly a few dozen followers), and then afterwards write some fanfics.

I needed a name for the AU in which the fanfics took place, and I went with “Fig Tree”; the idea being that the fanfics would be concerned with the period of peacetime after the war, when “everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree” and enjoy the fruits of their labors. When I began the blog, I kept the name “fig tree”, if only because it was a convenient way to categorize my designs for the characters as extra-canonical but still a permanent fixture because they made me happy. (Hilariously, the whole “but what if they were chonkier” aspect of the AU stuck around, but manifested itself mostly in Frodo and Beregond instead; both of whom I think it suits far better.)

As the blog gained some traction, I realized I’d have to explain the Fig Tree name at some point; so I decided I’d make it a mystery and a big game, rolling out the reveal in style at the end of the story with a comic set to the song that inspired the name in the first place. I was almost afraid the mystery would lose its appeal eventually—it’s not a very glamorous story, after all, and its meaning has far outgrown its original inception—but judging by the feedback I’ve gotten on that post, it seems to have hit exactly the mark I had hoped.

Anyway what I’m trying to say is that the blog was almost named aragorns-dad-bod and you should all be grateful I had the good sense to not do that 🤣🤣

[aromanticannibal]

amateur art advice from an amateur artist.

disclaimer. this isn't for people who want to make art their jobs (some of the advice may be useful to you, but some will very much not be). keep that in mind.

1. it's okay if you're not good. seriously. what matters is that you're creating and having fun (and if you're not having fun, perhaps there's something wrong).

good is subjective. when I was 13 and I drew big pretty anime eyes for the first time, I was super happy! and for me, it looked good. and it still looks good for someone out there, just like how people tell you how good your art looks when you think it's mediocre. it's not. your art is good, because you made it. Its true quality does not matter until you need it to for work. You're still learning, be good to yourself.

2. you've heard the PRACTICE advice from everyone ever, so I'll go with something different : try new stuff.

for all the summer holidays of 2021, I didnt draw at all, only doodled silly cats because yknow. mental illness. when I drew again, I tried drawing a full body pose, which I never succeeded in doing before. and I did it! obviously it wasn't perfect, but it was the best ive ever done. and now im pretty okay with drawing poses!

so try new stuff. try to draw busts from another angle, try to draw profiles. draw noses, draw combat poses, draw folds and old people and fat people and black people because i know most of the starting artists start with one type of character and stick to it (for me, it was front facing busts of skinny white girls with straight hair and no nose).

this also counts for objects, and animals, try to draw them (and try to draw people if you've only ever drawn animals or objects)

and again, it does not matter if it doesn't look good at first. don't get discouraged. your favorite artists have something they struggle with, the most famous and respected artists have struggled with some things and probably still disliked some parts of their work at their peak.

3. look at people. try to draw who you see. if you don't get out much or are scared to draw people when they're with you, then draw from photographs you have, or references (im begging new artists to look at references of actual human people. I'm on my knees. references are important, study what you see).

study your own face! when you take selfies or when you put on makeup or even just when you see your reflection - if you can, look at your face, the shape of your eyes, your nose, your lips, your face. I rediscovered this year that I actually have freckles and realized I have more of them on one side than the other. I realized my face is actually pretty androgynous and I have a soft square jaw. look at people. look at yourself, look at everything around you.

4. learn and try the tips other artists give you. once someone said that to draw both eyes the same way, you had to draw them at the same time, step by step, instead of doing one then the other. and it works! for me at least. don't be afraid to try stuff. you don't even have to keep doing it if you don't like how it looks or doesn't fit with your style, that's fine! just try to do things for a while, and if in the end it doesn't work out, you at least know this is a thing that exists and you know it doesn't work for you. knowledge is useful.

5. STOP. BEING. SO. HARD. ON. YOURSELF.

no one cares there's 10 years old kids who can draw better than you. no one cares you're starting at 30 years old, or 40, 50, any age that isn't teenagehood. and if there's people who care, they should not. you should draw because you want to. if drawing isn't making you happy, then stop, or try something else. if you are able, take art classes! do whatever makes you happy and stop thinking what you're doing is cringe, or bad, or ugly. it does not matter. what matters is if you're having fun or not. how "cringe" or "basic" it is does not matter.

I hope you keep loving art and I hope you keep doing art because there are people who want to see it. even if you think it's mediocre, even if it really is, even if you're a beginner. I hope you never stop doing art because you think it's never going to amount to anything.

good luck doing art, and have fun!

[cj-the-random-artist]

For the Artist Ask Game: 5 and 16? :D

Hi! I. Blatantly forgot about this. Hilariously. And had to go digging for that ask game again. Anyways, answers to your questions:

5: What piece of art are you still proud of to this day?

Evidently, I don't have a copy of it on the computer that I'm on right now, cuz I made it long before I got this one, but it's the one of Elven Scar from season 9 sitting in front of his giant tree starter base. It's from like 2021 I wanna say?? Very green. That said, it's definitely one of my generally better pieces, it's pretty nice compositionally and it has pretty good perspective and lighting and stuff and it reads well small, which is nice. Out of all the art I've made in the past several years, that has to be one I'm quite proud of.

There is another one that I'm quite proud of as well, from early 2022 that I never posted cuz it was an OC piece- but I drew one of my OCs lying in a bed of roses and bones and I hand drew hundreds of roses twice over in my sketchbook and then digitally. It literally took a month for me to finish it and I'm also quite proud of that one, though I don't plan to post it as of now.

16: What is something you used to struggle to draw with confidence / ease, but have now mastered?

This is an interesting one, because I,,, don't think I've mastered,,, anything?? I don't think there's anything that I can sit down and draw with 100% consistency every time and I don't know that I'll ever get there. Which is okay with me, because I don't care about technical mastery in the ways I used to. I'm gonna make art fun for myself again, so help me.

Sorry it took so long for me to get to this. I genuinely just forgot lol. Anyways. Have a good one lovelies :D

[orbleglorb]

now that more ppl are offline (and probably won't see it): here's a full mourning of blaseball, i guess.

warnings for suicide and mental health treatment. pls don't reblog this lol i just need it off my chest

i, like many others, discovered blaseball during the pandemic. i discovered it in... august? maybe? i think i "joined" around season 7, and really joined around season 10.

2020 was a rough year for me. 2021 was, too. in january 2021, i went to a residential treatment center. i was there until august 2021 (which is actually an incredibly short stay). the expansion era (seasons 12-24) happened march 2021 thru july 2021. it ended july 30th. i got out august 6th. literally like 6 fucking days. i am still pissed about this btw

anyway! i was 15 when i joined blaseball. im 18 now. im an adult. my first team, back in summer o' 2020, was the boston flowers. then i fluted to the shoe thieves. then the lift. and i was with the data witches during the coffee cup. i had fun on all of those teams! i even roleplayed some characters on twitter (i ran one of the val hitherto accounts, a kit honey account and jason datablase). (if you remember me from the first rp server i am so sorry. i don't remember what i said/did but im 90% sure it sucked).

throughout treatment, i kept blaseball close to my heart. my friends were able to send me letters, and i asked them to keep me updated on blaseball. they didn't, and at first, i was pretty upset. but when i got back, i understood why. there's really no way to explain the expansion era. even the wiki struggled. there was just.... so much. all the time. (although, when i broke up with my then-gf via mail, she sent me back a long letter explaining everything that happened in blaseball between seasons 12 and... 16? maybe?). nevertheless, my love for the splort persisted. i wrote fanfic in treatment, despite not knowing whether or not these characters would be alive when i got to get on the internet again. in hindsight, i probably could have snuck on blaseball.com on the computers, but some of the staff were just cruel. i would have been banned from using the computers at all, or from being alone near devices, or maybe from going outside, if a TL was having a particularly bad day. all of that aside: i loved and i created within a space that, looking back, was hostile. more hostile than i realized. i drew so much art, none of which i will be posting because i couldn't use reference images and the anatomy is so bad. i also listened to the garages. god, i listened to so much garages. suicide warning for this last part of the paragraph -- the night i had decided to kill myself, i put on music while waiting for others to go to sleep, and in the feedback (night) came on. the "i don't know i'd get you back" really, really dug deep. obviously, i didn't commit, and i have blaseball to (partially) thank for that.

i wouldn't say blaseball, specifically, saved my life. i would have found other songs that made me feel okay. other communities, other interests. but blaseball offered all of that. and, above all: it offered a creative space.

blaseball is unique in that fans create player and team lore, but it still gives a foundation for these. it's easier than making your own story from scratch, and (sometimes) easier than making ocs for your favorite piece of media. allowing that much creativity in a place with the basic building blocks of plot and world building & not much else is what drove many ppl to enjoy blaseball, including me. especially in the pandemic, when everyone was low on energy and motivation. i haven't shared a sizeable fraction of the blaseball art and fics i have created. i created so much because of this game!

i am going to love these characters until the end of time. i am going to carry a piece of them with me forever. literally. i have so many blaseball headmates. and, truly, i do have them and other headmates to thank for helping me get out of that place. they've done more than blaseball itself has. but, blaseball was the right thing at the right time: a mixture of community, music, characters to project onto, and characters to photocopy into my brain forever (the last part wasn't intentional, of course, but it did help).

blaseball will always be important to me, as all of my special interests are, past and present. i am forever changed because of it, but like, i'm 98% sure it's for the better. like, homestuck changed me, but that was 70% for the worse, probably. so it didn't have as much of a negative impact on me as homestuck did! which, like, is a bar so low it's in the sixth circle stadium, but i'll count it as a win.

i don't know how to end this rant. really, it's been amazing. i love this community and will continue to. i will continue to create blaseball content for as long as my autistic heart latches onto it, which can be, like, another two months or another ten years. who knows? not me. and i have to be okay with not knowing.

im terrified this community is going to fall apart. i've made great friends here. i will love you all and follow you whether you go. just don't go where i can't follow (hockey rpf)

i love you, blaseblr mutuals. i love you, blaseball community. i have a love-hate relationship with you, blaseball sim. many teams, one league!

[miutonium]

I can't sleep because i am lowkey nervous about tomorrow but also I just want to show yall basically my art progress (in terms of rendering) in the spam of 1 year contracting Utonium brainrot hhhh it's so surreal to see how different both of them looked like ahaha

(for guide, first pic to last, 1st week july 2021>3rd week july 2021>21st Nov 2021>9th Apr 2022)

Also witness me talking about each journey of my progress undercut lol

I cAN TOTALLY EXPLAIN THE FIRST 2 PICS. The first one is exactly from a year ago when my brainrot just started and I was like "well fuck I guess I have a new f/o now". If you ever see or feel familiar about the first art even though you prooooobably never see it,

its because it was an original picture for this redraw a few months AFTER that pic

Also if you notice, the art style for that one is totally different from others and shhh the reason it was like that is because initially I want to draw them in my actual artstyle around that time and I dont want it to follow the same artstyle like in the show. My friend said Utonium kinda reminds them of that guy from clo.udy wi th a ch.ance of meatb.alls and im like "oH SHITTT". There's more drawings of Utonium pre-brainrot era with this kind of artstyle in my folder but I don't think the world is ready for that yet lol

Anyway as I progresses to the 2nd pic, I changed my mind and was like "wait I actually WANT them to look like they're in PPG and not my own artstyle" so I slowly draw both of them to look more like the ppg style if you understand what I mean??? Althoughhhh in the 2nd pic I still want him to look a bit like my own style with my own touch and despite how much I don't like the reboot, I actually like his gray hair on his sideburns??? So if yall remember that phase and followed me from way way in the early days of this blog, I used to draw Utonium with those streaks before I gradually stopped doing that because of.... actually idk why I stopped??? I should totally add the grays back because I love it actually lol but anywayyyyyy the 2nd pic was also around july too me think? So there's probably like a few weeks gap between the actual totally real not clickbait picture of Chloe and Utonium 'together'.

That was how my render looked like for a few months until november (the 3rd pic).

So in the 3rd pic, I discovered this very magical spectacular magnificent function on CSP called t E xt U r e and holy fuck, let me tell you, I feel like I am a changed person. I was never the cringe person with mediocre render like I was, this legit marked a cultural shift in me, I just feel like I've been blessed by god himself. I spammed the fUCK OUTTA THOSE TEXTURES like it was MY BUSINESS. i pAID CSP FOR FULL PRICE I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO USE IT TO ITS FULL CAPABILITIES AND SQUEEZE IT OUT OF ALL IT'S WORTH. Although I must say, my render time after that significantly increases. By standard I used to render around 3 hours? Now this bitch took 6 fuckin hours to completely. It wasn't a daijobu era ngl 😔😔😔

And holy fuck do I have a fuckin field day with it. You think I was a changed man back then? I have ascended, I am now r e b o r n. My friends feared my, my peers stared at me, my teachers are baffled by the amount of brainrot I drew at that time. How am I real?

I rendered like that for around 4 months until I discovered something even more cooler:

B L E N D I N G M O D E

Okay jk but hhh anyway for my current render; it's kinda more like an accidental discovery? I wanted to look for ways to cut render time because it was really tiring for me to render with a fuckton of texture layers and I also wanted to emulate my fav artist's render style soooo bad (it was luoman if anyone asked) and I kinda figured out how they did it? I mean they still do it better but like I was really inspired to be like them and lemme tell you, I cried for 3 days 3 nights unpaid vacation time when I figured it out. I wasn't kidding when I say I feel like I am a new person. I am quite pessimistic tbh, I'm insecure about my art but like this is the first time in like 3 years ever I feel like I did a major progress and I feel really good.

Why did I made this post? I actually dont feel good about myself, maybe because I am nervous about my test tomorrow and I just need a quick mood boost from myself. I don't believe I did any progress. But now, after typing all of my thoughts at 3 am, after I just put art phases of my braunrot together, kinda believe I actually did progress and I am proud of myself ;w;