#i dunno man. i just Keep Seeing these stupid posts..... and I know people just don't even understand

[angst-and-fajitas]

I think loveless aros deserve a thousand dollars for every time someone claims that love is the meaning of everything or love makes us human etc etc

"by love we mean all forms of love, including nonromantic!!1!" You clearly Do Not understand. Return to start, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

There is no center of the universe, there is no unified meaning of everything, and there is no social or biological trait that "makes us human" besides the literal being humans thing, and any attempt to assert otherwise will other and alienate more people. There is no one emotion that you need to feel in order to be a good person or even a person at all

[americas1suiteheart]

Better Off As Lovers

Patrick Stump x Reader

This was also posted on Ao3 if you prefer that platform, this whole text is the link. :)

[Summary; You and Patrick have been friends since middle school and have been going to tours with him and the band to watch their shows. At one of the shows, Patrick decides to play one unreleased song he just so happened to write for you to confess his feelings. (I dunno this is kinda the summary but I'm also dumb as shit and can't make a correct summary).

[Notes; I felt like writing a little something for him as I've been wanting to for a while now, and here it is! And honestly, guys, if I end up wring more Patrick x Reader fics they're all most likely to be song fics or fics based off of some of the music videos, sorry but man I'm a sucker for song fics.

[Warnings; Some cursing and some bickering back and forth between Pete and Y/n over stupid stuff. Really really cheesy and unrealistic ig. Also Y/n is kind of really fucking stupid as well, but for the sake of the fic.

[Word Count: 4,068 (This is literally the longest fic I've ever written oh my gods.)

<Playing- Bang The Doldrums by Fall Out Boy>

1:32 ────ㅇ────── 3:31

God, why are these tour bus seats so uncomfortable? You'd figure that because they were meant for people to sleep in, they would be more comfortable.

You get up and stretch, heading to the cupboard where the band keeps all of the snacks to look for your hidden stash in the back.

"Where the hell are they?" You say, muttering to yourself.

You continue to scrounge through the cabinet to try and find your two twin packs of Twinkies, only to give up and walk to where the boys were hanging out.

"Hey, did any of you guys eat my Twinkies?" You call out as you walk to where you can hear the boys talking; a curtain was the only thing acting as a door for the area.

Just as you open the curtain to the "room" (aka the six loft beds that were separated by just a curtain), you see Pete and Joe munching on your beloved creme-filled cakes.

"Are you kidding me?" You say, your mouth agape and eyebrows raised.

"I told you guys so."

The two boys look at each other and then at you, a twinge of fear apparent on their faces, the creme filling on the corners of their mouths, and the wrappers thrown onto the floor.

"You two so totally owe me two boxes of Twinkies, I mean it! One box from each of you two! How did you find them?! I hid them!" You flail your arms about towards the boys, the guilt becoming more apparent on Joe's face.

Pete and Joe shuffle in their spots, licking their fingers and corners of their mouths to get the creme off from their messy way of eating.

"Honestly, you're kinda bad at hiding stuff; it wasn't that hard to find them," Pete says with a shrug.

Patrick kicks his shin from where he was sitting from across, earning a hiss of pain and a dirty look from Peter.

"I'm gonna eat all of your fucking Blow-Pops." You say, leaving the sleeping area and heading back to the snack cupboard. You can hear Pete's shouts, telling you not to touch them.

Opening the cupboard, you immediately spot a party-size pack of Blow-Pops with a large piece of duct tape stuck on to the bag, big bold letters drawn with a black Sharpie reading 'PETE'S LOLLIPOPS!!! DON'T TOUCH!!!'

Pete really liked those things, and he would individually count them to keep track of how many he had, so that way, if someone decided to take one or two of them, he would know. Which is kind of insane of him now that you think about it. Actually, scratch that, Pete was insane—PERIOD!

You grab the bag and grab three handfuls of lollipops, shoving them into your hoodie pockets and putting the bag back into the cupboard.

"Give them back, Y/n!" Pete says, grabbing your shoulders just enough to keep you from moving.

"Hell no! Buy me back my Twinkies and then I might just give you all of them back." You say putting one hand into your pocket to take out a Blow-Pop.

"Those Twinkies were practically begging to be eaten by someone, man; come on, those were in there for days without being touched."

You unwrap the lollipop, pulling your hand up to pop it into your mouth, Pete's mouth falling agape as you do so.

"Was that one of the apple ones..."

You nod your head, taking it out of your mouth. "And I've still got more. And as I said, I'm not giving them back until you buy me back, my Twinkies,"

"God, fine! But promise not to eat anymore until we get to a gas station! Especially not the Apple ones!"

"Will do," You pop the Blow-Pop back into your mouth as he lets go of your shoulders, looking defeated as he walks back to the room all of the others were still in.

You smile to yourself, sitting back into the seat you were originally in.

------------------------------

You and the boys get out of the bus, heading into the gas station as the drivers fuel up. You immediately head for the drink section, looking for a can of Arizona tea.

What the hell man, where are they?

You continue to look for another minute or so until you finally give up, heading to the soda section where Patrick was.

You had somewhat of a crush on Patrick. You always have to be honest.

You went to high school with Patrick, so you've known him since sophomore year. You had a lot of classes with him too and often hung out with each other both inside and outside of school, making you closer to Patrick than you were to any of the other kids and considering him your best friend.

When he first started playing with Joe and Pete and officially being in a band with them, you started going over to practices with him, getting to know the two better, and when Andy joined the band, it was the same with him.

Now that you think about it, you have no clue how liking him could have been avoided. He's sweet and smart—a little awkward at times too, but nonetheless an incredible guy.

I mean, the whole reason why you started looking into learning some music technology was so that you could be with him more often. A lot of what you started doing was to get to hang out with him more often.

"Boo!" You say, grabbing Patrick's arm gently.

"N/n, there you are," Patrick says, turning around to look at you, holding out two cans of Arizona tea to you.

"What the hell, I just spent like, two minutes looking for these; where the heck did you find them?" You chuckle, taking one of the cans.

"I'll never tell.." Patrick chuckles, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Well, thank you Patrick. I appreciate your kind gesture very much."

Andy and Joe run by you and Patrick, with Pete doing the same shortly afterwards. Some screams and laughs came with that as well. You could see the cashier trying their best to make it through all the noise, with a look on their face that could only be explained as exhaustion and frustration, clearly not wanting to be at work.

You look at Patrick and sigh, knowing that you'll have to yell at the three once again as if they were children, regardless of the fact they were all older than you and Patrick.

You walk to the snack aisle, where you can see Joe and Andy crouching down, assumingly hiding from Pete for whatever reason, and walk up behind them. Andy had a bag of skittles in his hand and a sprite in the other, while Joe carried a twin pack of Twinkies—just as you asked him for—and a bag of chips and diet coke in his arms.

"What are we hiding from?" You whisper to the two, who jump slightly and look back in response.

"Pete," Andy replies quietly.

"Well, we've gotta go; you guys will have to finish this up some other time, preferably when we aren't in a public place."

You hear footsteps from behind and stand up, turning around to see Pete walking slowly, putting a finger up to his lips as to say "don't say anything," and you shake your head and mouth, "No."

"Come on guys, go check out we need to get back on the road," you say, turning back to Andy and Joe.

Pete groans and fully stands up, Andy and Joe doing the same.

"God, you're such a grump all the time, no fun," Pete says, walking up to the cashier.

Patrick comes up from behind you, putting his hand on your back. "Is everyone ready to go?"

You blush from the contact, nodding your head in response, and walk to the register where the boys were checking out.

"No, I paid the last time. It's Andy's turn to pay now, remember?" Pete argues. The cashier looked like he was about to snap; if it was a cartoon, steam would probably be coming out of his ears right now.

"I'll pay, fine dude, just chill out," Andy says, pulling out his wallet and handing the cashier his credit card.

The cashier puts their items into a plastic bag, and Andy grabs it and leaves with the other two.

You and Patrick walk to the register, putting your items down on the counter.

"Sorry about them by the way, they get rowdy sometimes," Patrick says, attempting to break the awkwardness by making small talk, leading it to get worse.

"Your total is $9.34," the cashier says with a deadpan look on his face.

The two of you pull out your cards and look at each other. "Let me pay for it, please; you had paid the last time, and it was almost 20 dollars," Patrick says with puppy eyes.

God, this guy always knows how to get his way with that look.

"Alright then, Pat. Thank you," You thank him, putting your card away.

Patrick pays and the cashier puts our stuff into a plastic bag, handing it to him, with him thanking the guy and telling him to have a good day.

You two walk back into the bus, and Patrick places the bag on the couch in the lounge.

"Do you want both of these in the mini fridge?" Patrick asks, taking one of the tea cans out of the bag.

"I'll have one now and save the other for later, if you can put one in though, that'd be awesome."

Patrick nods and puts one can and one of his sodas in the mini fridge plugged in next to the counter where the broken toaster sat. Now that you think about it, how long has that thing been broken? Why haven't any of us bothered to replace it?

You open one of the cans, walking into the bunk area, and sit on your bunk at the top, letting your feet dangle above the middle bunk.

"Y/n, here you go," Joe says, handing me two twin packs of Twinkies.

"Thanks, Joe. Here are your Blow-Pops back dickhead," you say, taking the wrapped cakes and taking all of the blow pops out of your pocket, handing them to Pete, who was sitting next to Joe.

"Jesus, dude, how many of my fucking Blow-Pops did you take?" Pete exclaims.

"A couple handfuls, I think," you reply, taking a drink of your tea.

-----------------------------

"Alright guys, we've got a couple more songs to play; are you ready?" Pete shouts into his mic, earning cheers from throughout the crowd.

The boys continue playing a couple more songs.

The band had been playing for an hour and a half now, playing some of their newer songs from the newest album they were working on, those of which you had the pleasure of getting to listen to before they played them for others, as well as songs from Take This To Your Grave and From Under The Cork Tree. The crowd was singing the lyrics along with the band, enjoying all of it.

"This is the last song for tonight and is another one from the album that we're currently working on; this one me and Patrick worked on together is called Bang The Doldrums!" Pete says, wiping some of the sweat off of his forehead.

Patrick adjusts the strap of his guitar slightly, walking up to the mic. Him and Joe begin to play together, with the rest of the band joining in.

You listen to it for a bit, you hadn't recognised the name but you figured that they had probably changed it.

'I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm when you passed out,'

What the hell? I haven't heard this one yet.

'I couldn't bring myself to call, except to call it quits,'

This is great; why hadn't they shown me this one? They all sound amazing.

Patrick looks at me as he sings the next verse; his face tinted a slight red, maybe from how out of breath he was getting? God, he always looked so pretty like that.

'Best friends, ex-friends till the end, better off as lovers, and not the other way around,'

You listen to the lyrics; why did he look at me like that in that exact verse? Maybe I'm just going crazy.

'Racing through the city, windows down, in the back of yellow-checkered cars,'

You continued to listen, enjoying the sound of the way they were playing.

Then once again, Patrick looks at you, looking less nervous and giving a slight smile as he sings the same verse.

'Best friends, ex-friends till the end, better off as lovers, and not the other way around,'

You can feel your face rapidly becoming warm, oh?

You think for a bit, your mouth slightly agape as you stand still. You just hope what you think is happening and what he's implying is actually what it is. No, no way. You guys have just been friends since high school; there's no way.

'..in the back of yellow-checkered cars. You're wrong, are we all wrong?

'Best friends, ex-friends till the end, better off as lovers, and not the other way around, ex-friends till the end, better off as lovers!'

The song ends, and the band thanks the crowd before exiting the stage, allowing the stage technicians to begin striking and taking everything down.

You were still standing there as the crowd began to clear out. Shit, you should get to the boys. What do I do about how Patrick looked at me? What if I ask him about it and I'm totally wrong? Oh god, I'm screwed.

You begin to head to the door that lead to the backstage lounge, a security guard protecting it from letting anyone else in. The guard immediately notices you and lets you in.

You nervously walk to the same area that the boys were in, knocking on the door and hearing Joe shout, "Come in!"

You open the door and smile at the boys, who were sitting down, drinking water and using towels to dry themselves off.

Where's Pat?

"Hey guys! You sounded awesome tonight, what was with that last song though? I'd never heard it before." You greet, sitting down on one of the metal pull-out chairs across from everyone else.

"Thanks! We were going to show you Bang The Doldrums when we were first working on it, but about halfway through writing it Patrick had said something about waiting to play it at a gig instead, something about surprising you, I dunno," Pete says in response, taking a chug of his water bottle.

"Where is Patrick, by the way?" You ask, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

"I think he went to go and look for you actually; try ringing him or go and look for him; he's somewhere around here," Andy says.

"Shit really? I'll go try to find him now. Do you guys need anything that could be outside of this room?"

"Can you get us some more water? I'm still totally parched man," Pete asks, taking the towel he had on his shoulder to wipe his face off.

You nod and get up, leaving the room and closing the door to go and look for Patrick.

How on earth do you know where every place in this theater would be? This place is huge..

After searching around, you finally decide to go outside to check if he was in the tour bus by chance, only to see him sitting on a curb next to the door hidden from all of the different fans still exiting the venue.

"Pat? What're you doin' out here without a sweater on? It's freezing right now." You speak out, walking to where he was and sitting to the left of him.

"Oh, I went to look for you, and when I came out here, it was way cooler than it was in the theater, so I stayed out here to cool off a little bit," Patrick says, straightening his back and looking at you.

You nod in a way of understanding.

"How'd you like the show, though?" Patrick says, after a few seconds of silence.

"It was great! You guys never have a boring gig; everyone was loving it. What was the last song about though? I had never heard you guys play it up until just now." You say excitedly.

Patrick shifts slightly, looking away from you as his face flushes, now looking slightly embarrassed.

"I mean, it's not that it sounded bad or anything; it sounded great, but, during that chorus, you kept looking at me and, well," You say awkwardly, avoiding saying what you actually wanted to say.

It stayed silent for a couple of seconds before Patrick broke it.

"Sorry about that, I don't know if it made you weirded out or anything." Patrick says quietly.

"'Weirded out?' Pat I don't think you can really do anything to weird me out honestly. I didn't mind the contact all that much really." You lightly laugh, quietly mumbling the last part.

After saying that, you notice Patrick relax a bit, as if he were relieved and a little bit of a weight was off his shoulders.

"Y/n, can I tell you something?" Patrick says looking down at his shoes, his voice shaky.

"Yeah, of course," You reply, anxious for his words, yet somehow excited at the same time, wondering what they might be.

"This is going to sound so stupid, gosh. Um," Patrick chuckles, trying to calm his nerves as he twiddles his thumbs together, then proceeding with what he was saying. "I uh, would you hate me if I said that I really liked you, and not in a friend sort of way but um,"

You stay quiet for a few seconds, mouth slightly open and eyes wide. You're glad that it was dim in the little corner you two were sitting at so that he wouldn't see how red your face was turning.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anythi-" Patrick apologises before getting cut off by you.

"Patrick, don't be sorry," You say.

Patrick furrows his brows, creasing his forehead slightly, turning to look at you with confusion clear on his face.

"You have absolutely no idea how long I've waited for you to say something along the lines of that," You continue, grinning widely.

Patrick's face softened, a small smile appearing onto his face.

"So, does that mean that, well, you know," He says, looking at some cracks in the concrete, kicking at a pebble aside.

"Yeah, it means exactly that, Trick," You put your hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention back.

He looks back at you, smiling, his eyes that you looked into so often seemed to shine brighter underneath the dim light that the venue had over the door in the back that barely showed any light where you two were sitting.

Patrick brings a hand to your face, caressing your cheek. You lean into his touch, doing the same as he did.

His eyes glance at your lips for a millisecond, quickly returning to your eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" Patrick asks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nod your head and lean in as he does, fluttering your eyes closed.

Patrick closes the gap between the both of you, his breath warm. The kiss is soft and sweet, not pressed too hard against each other but still with passion. Your lips seemed to fit perfectly with his, as if they were made specifically for the both of you and just the both of you alone.

You two pull away, pressing your foreheads together, panting ever so slightly from the lack of oxygen the both of you got during the kiss.

There was a peaceful silence for a few seconds, you swear that if it weren't for the muffled music and talking of the crowd outside Patrick would've been able to hear your heart beating out of your chest.

"God, if I knew this would be the outcome I would've told you years ago," Patrick chuckles lightly.

You smile, now realizing that this wasn't a dream and that your best friend since high school really confessed what you dreamed he would for years now. That you two really kissed and it wasn't some guy that you pretended to love in hopes of letting your feelings for Patrick disappear, and you were so glad that your mind and heart didn't let that happen.

"Oh my god finally, you two are idiots," Pete says, standing on the steps that lead to the door to get backstage.

You and Patrick quickly pull away from each other, your face burning up quickly.

"What the hell do you mean 'finally'?" You say, looking at Pete in confusion.

"We've been waiting for you two idiots to finally say something to each other for years now,"

You look at Pete for a few seconds, the cogs in your head turning.

"What?"

"I mean, you two were so painfully obvious, I'm honestly surprised that you two didn't figure it out way earlier man. Oh! Wait, wait, who confessed first? Was it you Y/n?"

Joe and Andy walk out and stand next to Pete.

"Did it finally happen? Who said it first, do you know?" Joe asks.

You and Patrick stare at each other, completely baffled.

"Was it Patrick?" Andy asks.

You flush even more, looking back at the three, then quickly looking away.

"It was totally Patrick, I called it! Come on pay up you two,"

Joe and Pete groan, taking out their wallets.

"Did you guys place bets on us?" Patrick asks, getting completely ignored by them.

"How much was it again, I don't remember it's been like 5 years now," Pete asks, looking at Andy.

"I think it was either ten or twenty,"

"Can we just say it was ten? I don't have a twenty or two tens on me and I don't want to go to the ATM tomorrow morning." Joe says, rummaging through his wallet.

"Sure that works," Pete and Joe both hand Andy one ten dollar bill each.

"What the hell, was Andy the only one that thought I would confess?" Patrick says. He seemed more upset at the fact that Pete and Joe put their bets on you confessing first rather than him.

"Come inside, it's freezing out here and we still haven't gotten our waters yet," Pete says, holding the door open for Andy and Joe.

You get up and gesture for Patrick to do the same, walking to the doorway.

"I fucking hate you and I hope you know that," You whisper to Pete jokingly, proceeding inside with Patrick and Pete behind you.

"Love you too N/n.." Pete says sarcastically, walking to the table where a load of plastic water bottles were, grabbing three of them.

"I hate him," You say, looking at Pete walk away and disappear into the room the three were in before.

"Me too sometimes but honestly if it weren't for him I probably would have never said anything," Patrick looks at you.

"What do you mean?"

"He's the one that organized the whole plan of playing Bang The Doldrums and not showing it to you until earlier during the show," Patrick answers, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Huh, he told me you said something about not showing me until now. You know, maybe I don't hate him as much anymore now."

Patrick laughs, grabbing your hand and pulling you along to the table, grabbing two bottles for himself and you.

You smile to yourself, looking at your entangled hands then at him as he walked you to the room the boys were in.

You couldn't have been happier in all the years of your life up until now, and you wouldn't change or trade it for anything in the world. You were happy that you finally got to be like this with Patrick, the boy that was always so nice to everyone no matter what, the boy that knew exactly what to say if anyone was ever down, the boy that never left you no matter how difficult or bad it got.

This was the boy that you fell in love with since the moment you saw him, and he loved you back.

3:13 ─────────ㅇ─ 3:31

This took me forever to finish, and thank gods that I hyper fixated on FOB again (more than many times throughout the making of this fic,) because if not it wouldn't have ever gotten finished. I think I might end up writing more fics for Patrick, let me know if you would like for that to happen, send in some requests if you would like as well! Thank you for reading this seriously, regardless if your new or if you've been a follower since I started posting my fics on here, I appreciate you all for continuing to read my stuff because it makes me truly feel like I'm getting better and that people enjoy my stuff.

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 48

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Y/n goes a little apeshit at JojaMart lmao

Author’s Note: *Crawls out of a pit covered in dirt and blood. Slaps this chapter down in front of you, on a SUNDAY no less!*

My health situation hasn’t improved whatsoever, but I will prevail, damnit!!

I wrote most of this and posted to ao3 early this morning, and haven't had a chance to proofread really. I'll do my best to get that done soon ^.^ Sorry if there are any weird wordings. Also sorry for the complete lack of Seb and Magnus in this one, I hope the shenanigans make up for it <3

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

I hate that stupid, cryptic, blue note I got.

Ever since it came, I think about it every time I check the mailbox, without fail. I don’t want to, I kinda just want to forget it exists, but I just… I dunno. I have a bad feeling about it. A gut feeling. Like, something’s totally up with it. It’s just been sitting in my closet for safekeeping until I decide what to do, though.

For some reason, I’ve been too nervous to bring it back up to Magnus. He’s forgotten it exists, from what I can tell. I think I’ll do my best to keep it that way for now. It feels more like my burden to bear than his, and besides, he’s already got the whole region to take care of.

After today’s confirmation that I don’t have bills or anything important like that, I head inside to get ready to leave the farm. Reeeally hoping my routine will shake out my heebiejeebies.

I got the OK from Magnus to use his fancy shrine for Spirit’s Eve. Got an idea of what I think I want to make myself look like, too. Maybe a tiefling or something. If tieflings don’t really exist, I’m sure some sort of succubi, or imps, or some sort of creature that looks like one’s gotta, no? I suppose I could always fall back on just pretending I’m an elf… man, a tail and horns would be so fun though. 

Either way, tomorrow is the big day and I am so ready for it.

I mean, like, almost ready. Whatever.

Today I’m going to Magnus’ place to get some practice in. Just a precautionary measure to try not to, like, blow myself up or something.

I’m gonna keep my outfit cozy and easy to move around in, but I have half a mind to make sure I wouldn’t mind losing these clothes in particular if something goes wrong with the transformation. Just some leggings, some crew-cut socks, an old hoodie, and my favorite boots, since I won’t have my shoes on in the shrine anyway. All of it is in black. Sebastian cosplay. 

I’ll pop my red studs in too, gotta commit to the bit. I haven’t had time to talk to The Emo and see if he actually did get his shit pierced last night, but assuming he did, and assuming he was able to use these for it, I wanna go all out, baby.

Now, before I head to the tower, I’ve got some errands to run around town. I woke up a bit late so there’s gonna be more people out than I’m looking forward to, but hopefully I have no creepy Alex encounters or awkward conversations with Shane again.

I promised Sam I’d visit him at work sometime soon, so I might as well head there first. He hates it there, and it’s been a while since we’ve caught up, so I’ll hopefully be a welcome distraction. I’ll bring him a coffee too to keep his spirits high.

After it’s done brewing, I grab two foam cups and pour the coffee in. Knowing Sam, he probably needs this stuff sweet, and I’m in the mood for sweet too, so I pour in a bunch of vanilla-flavored creamer. To make the beverages ~gourmet,~ I add a little whipped cream to each, as well as a light drizzle of chocolate syrup. After securing the plastic lids and giving Cannoli some well-deserved love, I head out.

While I pass by the bus stop, I make eye contact with Pam. I’ve never spoken to her, but… I dunno. I can’t tell if I like her or not. She gives me a nasty stink eye and I can only further assume she’s as mean as she outwardly appears. Unless she was just cursed with an intense resting bitch face...

I smile Pam’s way anyway. She doesn’t smile back, but that’s okay. It doesn’t benefit anyone to be so judgemental of her.

I pass a few local moms once I make it to the town square. None really mind me, which could mean they either didn’t notice, or they don’t care. Either is fine by me. I don’t hear what they’re saying, but Caroline talks very animatedly just before the rest of the group bursts into laughter.

I turn my attention back ahead as I pass by Pierre’s and nearly bump into Marnie as she’s leaving the shop.

We both squeak out a little “Oh!” before apologizing in unison.

“I wasn’t really paying attention,” I double down. 

“Oh, that’s fine. I rarely ever am!” She then motions to the two cups in my hands and adds, laughing, “At least the coffee’s safe!”

I awkwardly nod in agreement. Then, a brief flash of myself actually spilling coffee somewhere down the road raids my mind, my necklace tingling against my skin and my fingers practically buzzing.

Great.

“Everything alright, sweetie?”

That probably looked weird. “Yeah, sorry,” I try to recover, “just sleepy today!”

I take a sip of coffee to emphasize my point. Plus, I might as well drink what I can before these puppies go down. Hopefully I’ll be able to save at least one of them when the time comes.

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that!” She puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I need to get back to the shop, but take it easy and don’t overwork yourself, you hear?” 

I nod, thanking her and waving her off with a shy grin before I continue moving. Once I get closer to the spot I’m supposed to be spilling these drinks — just before that little bridge over the river by JojaMart — I begin to walk more cautiously. If I can just keep these steady and focus on the ground… 

A sneeze creeps up on me. Oh god. Oh god oh fuck oh no.

Just as I’m beginning to carefully place one of the cups on the side of the bridge for safe keeping, the sneeze forces its way out of me. Luckily, one beverage — the one I hadn’t drank from yet — stays safely in my hand. Unluckily, the one I was working on trying to keep safe fell to the stones at my feet, opening up and dispersing its contents fucking everywhere.

God damnit. 

“Nice one.”

God fucking damnit.

I look up to the voice. It turns out Shane’s outside having a smoke. He’s at the opposite end of the bridge watching my clumsiness unfold with an aloof look about him. He’s bent over to lean on the stone wall, his right elbow propped up and his corresponding cheek in his palm. His left forearm is flat against the structure while his left hand lazily dangles his cigarette between two fingers.

Is that pink nail polish on one of them? I wonder if that’s Jas’ doing. 

I merely groan back my response, picking up the now-empty cup to discard in the trash bin near the store. As I proceed on my walk of shame past Shane, I point out, “At least my clothes stayed safe.”

Shane follows and asks, “How many ants do you think you murdered with that accident?” 

I grin a little at his dry humor. “Oh it was a massacre,” I bounce back. “The war in Gotoro pales in comparison.”

“Ha!” Oh my god, I made Shane — the grumpiest fuck I’ve ever met — laugh?! “Right on. Seems like pointless violence anyway.” 

I turn to see if I can catch him smiling for the first time, like, ever. It’s not there anymore, but there’s a residual brightness in his features.

Shane snuffs out his cig on the ashtray built into the garbage’s lid, abandoning it there before shoving his hands in the pockets of his bright blue shorts.

“Those sons’a bitches,” he nods in the direction of my carnage, “they had it coming.”

My nose scrunches as I laugh a little, giving him a funny look. “Damn, what’d they do to you?”

There’s a playful glint in his eye, as he deadpans me. “Exist.”

I shrug and nod — I get it, they can be pretty annoying! — and follow the man as he makes his way through the white-rimmed, glass-centered automatic doors. I try not to cringe outwardly at how many self-righteous pro-Joja fliers are on them.

Shane stops a few steps into the store. Turns around. I stop too and look up, tilting my head. What’re you looking at, punk? I think to myself. Dunno if I’d be pushing my limits by trying to say it out loud. Better not.

Shane gives me a weird look too, but I can barely see it. My senses are taking their damn time getting used to the obnoxiously fluorescent lighting.

“Don’t you shop at Pierre’s?” Shane wonders out loud.

I blink a few times as I adjust to the environment and then nod. “Visiting Sam,” I explain.

“Ah.” He nods too, in understanding, and then looking the other way he continues, “Enjoy.”

Shane makes his way towards a door to the right of the manager’s office. Says “Employee’s only,” so I’m assuming it’s a break room or something. I don’t miss the incorrect apostrophe, but choose not to linger on it either.

“You too.” He looks back over his shoulder, so I pair my well wishes with a lazy salute.

“Buh.”

…Buh?

I smile. I think he’s warming up to me!

Feeling a tad lost now that I’m alone, I look around before making any advances. Should’ve asked Shane if he knew where Sam would be around now. I dunno how the shifts work around here.

The cashiers to my left — a visibly exhausted red headed woman, probably in her late 30s or early 40s; and a scrawny, scruffy looking teenager, with thick-framed glasses sitting atop his freckled nose — both look miserable.

The boy is boredly leaning against the counter, zoned out on the ground in front of it. The woman looks totally spaced out on nothing in particular. It almost seems like she’s fighting off sleep, too. Poor lady. 

The woman and I lock onto each other. She looks away from my face before I can even register it, but I notice her eyes flicker longingly to the coffee cup in my hand a few times after the fact. I peer between her and the beverage twice before I all but scurry away into the aisles. I’m too awkward for this. My only option is to retreat. Never said I wasn’t a coward.

While I venture past the boatloads of boxed, bagged and canned foods in search of the resident dog boy, I observe some of the products. Some don’t look safe for consumption, while others seem like they’d be fun to try as a one-off sort of deal. It overlaps a few times as well. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to try this cereal which very explicitly states on the box that it’s more sugar than grains? It makes me stifle a giggle. I like the brutal honesty. 

I stop and stare at it for a sec. Gnawing my lip. Wondering if I should just…

No. I shan’t.

I break away from temptation and trek on. As I reach the end of the aisle, I pan across the back of the store. More shelf-stable products, a small produce section… ah!

Sam looks like he’s supposed to be mopping the floor near the freezers. To be fair, he is holding a mop, and it is touching the floor! But instead of cleaning, he uses the tool as a microphone; singing against the end of the brown wooden handle, both hands passionately gripping it as he bends his torso to quietly belt one part in particular. Sam’s eyes are shut, his bulky black headphones are secured over his ears, and he has not a single worry in the world. 

Holding his coffee in both hands now, I stop walking and lean against a nearby shelf. Observing. Waiting. Eventually he’ll have to see me.

He does a little spin move and carelessly bumps into the bucket of soapy water he’s working with, causing it to slosh around a little. Some of it lands on the floor, and some on the pants of Sam’s jumpsuit. Doesn’t faze him in the slightest. 

He does another spin the opposite way and nearly knocks over the conveniently placed display of sprinkles that are situated right in front of the ice cream freezer.

I feel like I should probably stop him before something bad happens, but he looks so damn content and so stinkin’ cute that I can’t be assed. 

Just as I’m thinking this, he opens his eyes, completely avoiding my direction while he immediately peers over his shoulder. Sam scans around, getting a full view of the proximate areas. It seems like he’s just making sure he’s not about to get caught by his boss or something, if I had to guess.

Eventually he lands on me. We both smile wide, and I triumphantly hold up his (unspilled!!) coffee in one hand, presenting it with a small flourish of the other and a bow of my head.

“For you, my good sir.” I make sure to sound extra fancy, dropping my voice an octave and annunciating my words a bit too much.

He looks around again before meeting me in the middle with a fist bump, completely ignoring my bit. Aw man.

“Hell yeah, thanks dude!” 

I shoot some awkward finger guns at him, “You got it, bud.”

“You didn’t make yourself one?”

I sigh, lamenting, “I did…”

Sam scans my face as we share a short silence. Then, the lightbulb almost visibly goes off in his noggin. “You spilled it, didn’t you?”

Pursing my lips, I nod. “I spilled it, yeah.” 

“Buuummer, dude.” He pats my head and I sigh, leaning into his touch. I’ll be damned if I don’t still love head-pats, even if it’s been a while since I’ve gotten one. “Wanna split this one then?” he offers, palm still on my crown. At this point he’s just trying to messy me up.

“No thanks, I’ll just grab another later if I’m really craving it.” Not having noticed the trance I’ve been in as my hair gets slowly and steadily ruined — it feels nice, okay? — I finally look up at him, cheekily glaring as I manually remove his large hand from me. I add on as I try to repair the frizzy aftermath, “Sick performance, by the way!” 

“You think so?” he beams. Makes me laugh.

“Of course! It looked like you were having a lot of fun.”

Sam’s face is a bit flushed as he takes the compliment, not even trying to hide it; he has a big goofy grin on his face, too.

It drops and Sam looks behind him as a deep voice with a bit of a southern twang booms from one of the aisles nearby. “Samson?”

“Shit, here.”

Sam hurriedly places his coffee into my hand and rushes back near his water bucket, looking around for his manager as he moves. I try to make things less suspicious by pretending to look at some nearby end caps. 

I take a peek over when I hear Sam greet the man, “Hiya! What’s up, Morris?”

Crossing his arms and puffing out his chest to try and make himself look mighty, a man in a navy blue suit, a bright red bow tie, and a poorly-applied black toupee corrects him. “That’s Mr. Saxton, son.” 

I roll my eyes. Awesome to know the guy running this Joja is just as insufferable as the dudes who work on the corporate side.

Sam puts an anxious hand on the back of his neck, and halfheartedly smiles as he apologizes, his speaking patterns much more formal than before. Poor guy… it hurts to see him having to tone it down so much for this dipshit.

I turn my attention back in front of me so as to give him some privacy. Not sure he’d want me to hear him getting his ear talked off.

This display is full of holiday cards... I might as well waste some time with these bad boys. I pick up one with a cartoon beagle wearing a birthday hat on it, stealing a sip of Sam’s coffee as I read the pun on the front: “Have a doggone good birthday!” Alright, nice and cheesy start…

I flip the card open. It starts blaring Baha Men’s “Who Let The Dogs Out.” Fucking hell. Jumpscare me, why doncha! I shudder at how tinny the music sounds — likely made worse by its volume — then close the card and place it back in its spot, not bothering to read more.

“Excuse me, miss?”

I peer over my left shoulder, and see that Mr. Saxton is making his way towards me. A vein is popping in his forehead, but he has a toothy smile on his face that screams customer service. Not sure what’s going on and feeling a little anxious about the situation, I don’t answer with words — I just turn my body to him and watch him expectantly. 

My eyes flicker to Sam real quick, who’s closer to the opposite end of the freezers now. He’s looking over here though, and when his eyes catch mine, he mouths “Go!” and motions his arm towards the front end of the store. Maybe he got caught socializing or something… wouldn’t doubt that there’s probably heavy surveillance in here. Man.

I look back at Sam’s boss as he says, “I’m going to need you to discard your beverage.”

My brows furrow and I tilt my head. “Why?”

Ah, he’s the asking-questions-is-talking-back type: He huffs a deep breath and tilts his head as if to mimic me, clasping his fingers together in front of his ribs. The smile and vein are both still on his face.

“It is not only unacceptable to bring your own food into a grocery store,” he strains, “but I cannot have you spilling your drink all over our products.”

…I haven’t spilled anything. What does he think I am, some crusty little kid? 

Damn, this is bringing out a rage that I haven’t experienced since working behind a Joja desk. I didn’t know I was even capable of it anymore. Must be something about the overstimulatingly bright blues, or the blindingly white strips of lights. Same ones we had above each cubicle in the office.

My anxiety is rapidly replaced with a petty yearn to cause a ruckus as I realize that I don’t work for Joja anymore. I never have to even come here again, actually.

I don’t answer to this fucko! I don’t answer to anyone!

Screw this guy!

Feeling courageous, I put on my own customer service mask as I inquire, “Do you want me to spill this on your products?”

“E-excuse me?!”

I hover the cup near the cards, tilting it a little. Doing a little eyebrow wiggle too for good measure. “It feels like you dooo.”

“I— w-what are you doing?”

Seb would be so proud if he were here. Not sure how Magnus would react, but I’d like to imagine he’d support me too.

Completely on impulse, I bring the cup in front of me and splash a little coffee in the man’s direction instead of the cards’. The now-lukewarm liquid splatters onto the white button-down beneath his jacket and rapidly seeps into the fabric, leaving a light brown, unsightly splotch.

Sick, got him where it hurts and none got on the floor! Less work for Sam!

Making sure my voice is just as cheery as Morris was trying to keep his, I cap this off, “Stop treating your employees like crap and stop treating complete strangers like children, asshole.”

This feels so good. My heart is racing and my pits feel a little moist and I might just end up an anxious mess the second I walk away, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t cool as fuck in the moment. When Leah asked me last week if Magnus ever wanted to go apeshit, it didn’t even occur to me how badly I wanted to go apeshit.

I walk down the nearest aisle as Morris continues sputtering something about me leaving, paying for this, whatever.

Shane’s kneeled down in the middle of the aisle stocking shelves. He faces me for a moment and grins slyly. “That was cool as hell.” Why does this feel so validating? “A woman after my own heart.” 

HUH?

I blink that fucking flashbang away — seriously, the last time I saw him he was still being a dick, and today he’s treating every interaction like we’re fully acquainted, if not more, what the heck — as he turns away to scan items onto the shelf again.

“I really didn’t do much…” I really didn’t. Just kinda caused a minor inconvenience for the guy. 

My hands are shaking though, so it must be catching up to me.

“That still took some balls.” He glimpses at me briefly and adds, “Y’look like you might cry, though. Get outta here before I change my mind about you.”

I huff out a quiet laugh and steady Sam’s — well, my, now — coffee in both hands. “On it, boss.”

[prismartist]

(if you saw a similar post to this uhm. ignore that. i don't know why that's there. this is the actual post.

also spoilers for ace attorney 3, though my memory of the game is spotty so forgive me if i get anything wrong)

anyway. fucking fascinated with how cellbit incorporates the themes of ace attorney into his own lore, actually.

because the thing is, prosecutors in ace attorney are almost always at least a little bit evil. they're cruel, they're ruthless, and they prioritize winning over discovering the truth. which absolutely makes sense for the front cellbit's putting up; he seemingly no longer cares about unmasking the federation, and instead cuts off everyone around him and selfishly wants to keep richarlyson to himself. already a fantastic fucking decision, 10/10.

and then there's the fact that he chose godot.

godot used to be a defense attorney called diego armando. after he got poisoned, put in a coma, and woke up to learn his girlfriend got murdered, he felt immense guilt over her loss, and projected that guilt onto phoenix wright, her successor, even though he had virtually nothing to do with it. godot's whole thing is baseless accusation, becoming a prosecutor to "test" wright when he's not even that good of a prosecutor; he doesn't even hate wright! he even admits this plan was a "stupid fantasy" of revenge. this guy is a stubborn mule, who only wants to make up for the fact that he failed to protect his girlfriend mia, though his efforts are flawed and arrogant.

the fact that cellbit chose this guy. the guy who switched from defense to prosecution parallel to cellbit's own apparent switch from anti- to pro-federation. the guy who was blinded (literally) by emotion. the guy q!cellbit has aligned himself with, not just in the recent stream but all the way back in the early qsmp streams when he would play his theme all the time. this is definitely the best guy that cellbo could have chosen to trick the federation. the feds will look at him and see a changed (mentally unstable) man, a man who is willing to serve them by whatever means in order to pursue his own stubborn goals––godot wanted to protect mia more than anything, cellbit claims he wants to protect richarlyson more than anything, even more than his other family. i mean, i dunno if the feds are buying anything that's cellbit's pulling, but if they realize who cellbit is kinning that's gotta add some credibility points to the front.

but also... though godot wanted to protect those he cared about, he is a self-sacrificial dumbass who foolishly took everything upon himself. in wanting to prove and redeem himself, he refused to communicate or ask for help, and his plan to protect was half-baked and rash and got people killed. godot, in the long run, caused more harm than good in his effort to protect his loved ones and in his self-absorbed pursuit of redemption.

and well, if one puts it that way... q!cellbit's cosplay may be less of a charade than he realizes.

but you know what? i'm just glad he didn't actually go crazy over a vivo commercial

[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 86 here we goooo

Ok so I actually listened to this like a few days ago but I never got round to looking at the transcript but HERE I AM

God this is the blanket never did anything one

He says tucked in so fucking menacingly like Jesus Christ man

TIM MY LOVE

I can't get that one post out of my head that says how Tim was the furthest from being taken by the Eye cause he keeps tripping up on pronunciations and stuff in statements that other archival staff wouldnt honestly it's such a genius take

Oh shit this is getting really long I'll add in a read more

God I love how he's rebelling in every sense, he's doing the bare minimum, he's literally warning people away from it

It's kind of interesting the way he always thought the statement stuff was stupid but in the whole of season one and a lot of season two he managed to hide his distaste pretty well, like even when he lashed out at Jon about the Prentiss incident, he still didn't say that the statements were stupid, but he's saying it behind his back - maybe some part of him knew that Jon needed the statements to work and some part of him still felt for him enough to not point that out

He's kinda dramatic with it as well but I feel like in more of a self aware way than jon

You can feel his distaste honestly the statement just sounds wrong coming from him, which is interesting cause I didn't think that about when Martin did it

So he's mad at the fact that he put effort into a job that he wasn't even that comfortable with in the first place and now he's trapped in? Not about the monsters??

Jesus Christ Tim being a bit of a dick to melanie

HE BLAMES MARTIN????? Damn bro you weren't there how could you tell he didn't do it properly??

I think he's mad at himself for not being there and deflecting it on to martin

She likes that it's quiet!!! That's cute

Martin's not big on change AH neurodivergent vibes

All the archival staff are literally queer and neurodivergent you can't change my mind

Also the fact that he thinks that's the biggest reason why martin doesn't want Melanie around, not the Horrors and the same reason as Tim

I think Tim is refusing to think that Martin might see the situation in the same way as him because if he does then it means Tim's way of dealing might not be the best way and that's an unacceptable thought to him

Suspicious and resentful - my man is self aware I think he knows the way his path is going (hurtling towards destruction) but is too stuck shaking his fist at god to try and get out or he's sort of known his whole life that this is where he was supposed to end up, a terrible fate created by his own two hands that dug their own way down to rock bottom and he's just so tired of trying to do anything about it that he's just accepted it

SASHA OH GOD

Wow seeing firsthand the effects of the stranger, the way neither Tim nor Melanie can remember the real Sasha, but Tim has to live with the fact that he didn't notice and Melanie has to live with the fact that she did, but can't prove it

WHO AM I EVEN SAD FOR

AUGH I THOUGHT SOMEONE MADE THAT UP I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CANON OH GOD

He lost his FRIEND and he DIDN'T REALISE and he STILL DOESN'T KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH AUGH

Oh I wonder why he left the tape running? I'd think he would've forgotten to turn it off but if so I feel like he'd have that shocked moment of remembering which he didn't

Maybe he wanted proof of the conversation? Maybe it was a warning to anyone listening to the tapes? See firsthand how terrible it is at the Magnus Institute so you don't work here? I dunno

Ha I had to ask my lovely mutual @melandrops to explain what a marker was

Oh god honestly this statement fucked me up I completely understand why people hate it I hate it

I was so scared of the dark as a kid and the idea of being reduced to that state of lack of awareness and vulnerability is actually terrifying

Also the dude dying in the blanket???? Ew ew ew

Love the fact that tma doesn't just go with a oh shit I forgot a torch so it was pitch black kinda horror but the I brought a torch, I even brought spare batteries but it still did nothing which in my opinion is even scarier

Oh god her whispering the blanket never did anything that was horrifying

Melanie was actually so good at giving the statement girl really got into it

I was also talking to @melandrops about archivist!Melanie cause I think that would be really interesting... she'd definitely bring a more proactive vibe to the role...

It's interesting to think that Melanie and Jon hated each other at first sort of because they're so alike? It's like the we are made of the same stuff (derogatory)

Love how she just checks out the dead guy

The way she's denying it even though she's literally had paranormal experiences before that's so Jon core she would be a great archivist

JON????

Oh shit I just realised he's labelled as Archivist...when did that happen??

That's so funny he's like bitch maybe I do have reason to kill you

Hmm nice touch of Melanie being like do you guys not want me cause I'm a girl?? Is this misogyny??? Good guess but unfortunately it's worse

It's quite nice that Jon's trying to save her even though the meetings about helping him and her quitting would mean he'd lose the one informant he might have in the institute

Shot in the leg by a ghost in India????

Ha Tim hates you and Martin's probably being watched

Love how Tim's hatred for Jon is so visceral and known that they don't even bother watching him

I bet Elias would delight in knowing about Martin's little crush on Jon and how Jon actually hated him in season one and then how their relationship progresses he'd thrive on the drama and the angst the little bastard

Ok ok it's good that he's on the right track, he guesses it was elias

Wait the whole murder was on tape... WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT TAPE??? DID ELIAS TAKE IT??? COULD IT BE USED AS EVIDENCE???

YES MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (info style) BUT ALSO NO MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (web style)

[player1064]

Feb 2016 (becks) 🥺🙏🏽

WIP asks but it's just the various sections of my happy (???) beville (/angsty carraville) WIP

---

February, 2016.

Gary doesn't pick up, the first time David tries to call him. It doesn't even ring, just goes straight to voicemail.

It's not surprising. Gary's always struggled, after a loss. And this was a very big loss. He's probably turned his phone off, gone straight back to the hotel to drown his sorrows with a - sensible, always sensible even now - single glass of wine.

He leaves it for a couple of hours, gives Gary some time to mope. I won't sleep well tonight, he'd said in the post-match press conference. David will be surprised if he sleeps at all, he knows what he's like: the guilt and shame will have him tossing and turning all night long, until he'll eventually give up and go find a treadmill to run on until his legs give out.

David's memories of Camp Nou are all good. He's only played there a handful of times, only beaten Barcelona there once, that season he was with Madrid. But that's all irrelevant, because for David, for any of his old United teammates, Camp Nou was the setting for one of the best nights of his life. And now that's been ruined for Gary.

When he calls again later that evening, he listens to the phone ring and ring, far longer than he's come to expect from the man glued to his phone. And when Gary picks up there's no greeting, just the sound of his shaky breaths on the other end of the line.

"Gaz?"

He hears a choked sob, then a sniff and a "hi, Becks."

This… this is unexpected. Gary doesn't cry, not ever. A bit, last summer when he lost his dad, but even then it was only when he and David were alone in their hotel room in Australia, his face pressed against David's chest while silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

David doesn't really cry either, now that he thinks about it. He's not sure what that says about either of them.

He tries to keep his tone light now, asks jokingly "why so glum? Your team lose or somethin'?" which should've made Gary give a feeble sort of laugh but instead just earns him another muffled sob.

More seriously, he adds "it's only football, love. It's only football."

"Yeah. Right," Gary says quietly. There's a slight echo to his voice, like he's calling from a bathroom or something.

"Are you out somewhere?" David asks, which feels like an embarrassing question when even the thought of him going out after a loss goes against a quarter of a century's knowledge about Gary.

"Wha? Oh, no. No, I'm at the 'otel, just - felt a bit sick, is all. Been campin' out in the bathroom for a little bit."

David's gut twists with guilt. "Say the word, Gaz, and I'm on the next plane over there. This time of night, I reckon I can be at your door in less than four hours."

It's an empty promise, not because he wouldn't go - David would quite readily run all the way to Spain if that was the only way to get there - but because he knows Gary will say no. Because Gary is far too proud to admit he needs other people, even his bloody husband. And because Salford has a game tomorrow, and Gary would lose all respect for him if David skipped out on watching it just to fly to Spain for a bit of a cuddle.

They sit in silence for a few moments, David listening to Gary's shaky breaths slowly start to even out.

"Can I ask you somethin', David?" Gary asks after a while, clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Of course," David replies without a moment's hesitation. "Anything, always. You know that."

"Yeah." He hears Gary's uncomfortable chuckle, can just picture the way he's probably running a hand through his hair right now. "Yeah, I - I dunno, it might be stupid. Tell me if it's stupid, Becks, but lately I've - I've been thinkin', about Spain. I mean, obviously I've been thinkin' about Spain, see, stupid, but I mean - I've been thinkin' about Madrid."

David's been thinking a lot about Madrid lately too. Hard not to, when the man you love has fucked off to Spain and there's not a damn thing you can do about it without being marked a hypocrite because you did the same.

He'd hated Madrid. He'd loved Madrid. Both things can be true. He sometimes wonders what his life would look like now if United hadn't recalled his loan at the end of that season, if they'd sold him for good. Though who knows, maybe that wasn't an offer that Madrid had on the table. Maybe he was always going to end his career at Manchester United.

"I miss you more, this time around," David says gently. "Never would've thought that'd be possible, but. There you go."

"Yeah." Gary chuckles again, still uncomfortable. Like that's not the end of his thought, like the worst is still to come. "I just - I always wondered, an' I know it's stupid, so like - but I always wondered, like. D'you remember valentines, that year? With the - the red card, and the international break, and - but before all that, when you sent all them presents for me to Old Trafford? I - I dunno, I keep thinkin', lately, about somethin' Roy said that day. That maybe you felt guilty about somethin'."

David has had twelve years to anticipate this conversation, but the question still makes him wince, still feels like it's causing him physical pain.

He'd been all alone out there. He didn't know any Spanish, couldn't speak to any of his teammates. Back in Manchester, Gaz had lost his form, it was obvious even on a TV screen a thousand miles away, so David had been tiptoeing around him in all their calls, careful not to rock the already unstable boat.

So he'd had nobody. That's his excuse, and it's a weak one. Gary deserves better than that.

"I love you," he says quickly, even though they both know that's not a valid answer. "I've loved you my whole life."

"Becks."

"It only happened once. I can barely remember what she looked like. It was just once, Gaz, swear on my life. An' I felt sick after, for weeks and weeks."

"Alright." Gary lets out a long, shaky breath. "Yeah, alright then. Yeah."

"Gaz -"

"Think I already knew, didn't I? But I think it's good, that - at least now I can stop wonderin'."

"I love you."

"Yeah." Gary sighs again. "Night, David."

*

Felt a bit sick, Gary had said.

It's probably just coincidence.

[crimsun-n-clover]

dalia chronicles

i need her so bad dude

like. i don’t. i’m just being weird because i’m bored and she’s my type.

BUT—

i’ve hit rock fucking bottom. i took all the screenshots of her stuff and all the songs off of them and put them in a playlist. because if i was posting “me <3” to thee most obscure song ever?? i’d want people to go check that shit out. and like. understand me or whatever. but that’s what i would want. i’m being fucking weird about this. i think she’d like the attention but i’d actually rather die than give it to her in this dumbass unstable institutionalized way

i just need her to dm me first ONE TIME. not replying to me posting her stuff on my story. like. replying to literally anything else. to justify my behavior.

BECAUSE

HERES THE FUCKING T H I N G MAN

i took mickey to a concert a few days back. twas rad. we saw idkhow. i posted about it a little. when i get home and check my instagram?? i see that i posted us at the concert waiting for it to start 5 hours ago. and dalia posted a question submission box to an idkhow song. 5 hours ago.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS. she’s fucking with me. she’s SO fucking with me. just dm me for the love of GOD and stop baiting me with things. even though it’s kinda why im into you in the first place. fuckin whatever man.

this is literal torture but i’m kinda having a good time ngl

today she posted two stories to the song casual by chappell roan and holy. fuck. dude. that song is SO real.

i’ve felt used so much for my looks and reputation and i was fucking fine with it at the time because if that was all i was gonna get then i should just shut up and be grateful. i was so stupid but i was almost happy. it made everything hurt so much more when it was over because honestly? i was fucking bitter. i wanted nothing more than revenge and numbness. i wanted to hurt her back and keep her down before she can try that shit again. teach her a thing or two about what loss means. it’s horrible to be like that, i know. but it was horrible of her to be showing me apartment listings for us while talking to a guy who was actively homophobic toward me. i’m not proud of what i did or who i am, but fuck being the bigger person. i’m three fuckin inches tall and gonna get in your stupid double standard holding brain until you pry me out yourself and admit what you did.

anyway

dalia posted herself to that song twice in a thirst trappy way. i want to pick her brain so bad. what happened? are you okay?? you deserve better. you’re interesting and talented and deserve every ounce of attention you crave. i’d be happy to give you some if you’d give me permission. i don’t want to be the problem here. the bits of your personality that i’ve seen have been so intriguing to me. i’m enraptured and i want to know more. it’s not purely physical, but it could be if you want it to.

also. why are you so hot it’s not FAIR and how have the last two girls i’ve been dangerously into posted themselves with a star drawn on their collarbone and made my poor gay brain short circuit?? i’m actually in shock about that one ngl. while the lyric “knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?” plays in the background. i hope i die

moving on. ish.

i want to save it but they’re videos and i can’t just paste videos into a notes file like i would with a photo i didn’t want laying around. i didn’t even like the more thirst trappy one because i’m RESPECTFUL. she’s so pretty and i want to drool over her a little. i’m obviously fucking ashamed but if a straight guy did it it would be normal so. whatever. i feel like saving it would be hitting some kind of barrier. dunno what it is but there’s gotta be a limit around here somewhere. or maybe it’s admitting something to myself. that this is a genuine interest but it’s not if i don’t save the video. GOD i hate it here

i feel like i’m objectifying her? like. i’d love for her to objectify me honestly. lick my fucking tongue and get it over with so i can think about it for the rest of my life. she seems to be looking for attention in any way she can get it and that makes me think she would be cool with it. but i don’t want to be that you know? i know how that feels. but i also wouldn’t mind something unserious with her. but i would want more if she wanted more. that’s a fucking LIE i’d want more regardless but i’d take more if i got permission.

i’m kinda sorta maybe the type of person with an avoidant attachment style. something good happens? cool! sounds like bullshit. cash out while i’m high and tuck tail n fucking bolt. i’ll feel like shit about it but if i stick around something bad always happens.

i’m getting. a vibe. that maybe she’s similar. i’m probably just projecting. i don’t know how to describe it, but it feels like everything she does is a wild fucking shot in the dark and then she runs off for a bit until she builds up the courage to do it again. she’ll drop a hint or say something important and then post art and her outfit for a week and do it all over again.

it feels like we’re both testing the water at different times. just “wouldn’t it be cool if. girlfriend? GOODBYE GUYS NICE KNOWING YOU” eventually there’s gonna be an intersection and shit is gonna go DOWN bro. like. added to my lore kind of down. but i think i’m gonna be the one to have to actually make the first move that isn’t liking her stories and i’m gonna blow my fucking brains out. and like five other people will die because of all the suicide pacts i’m a part of.

and then immediately after i get even a DROP of reciprocation i’ll go “damn that’s crazy. fuckin ditto or whatever. i’m leaving the country don’t wait up” OR immediately propose. no in between. i hate it here

[waheelawhisperer]

Just got a bit mindblown by this take on 'Heroes & Monsters' claiming...well, that once Blake knew Yang was coming she dropped her aura & *let* Adam skewer her so she'd have enough juice left to clone 'em both out of there once shit totally fell apart. While that seems great for narrative serendipity milking, I dunno if Blake would've had the mindset for such a ploy at that point in her nightmare come true. Plus...Yang went nuclear *because* the first thing she saw was that stab. Sheesh.

what the fuck

I rewatched the scenes. Blake's first response to Adam's appearance is terror and disbelief. She tries to back away at first and only engages when another student is in danger. She's scared the whole time Adam's talking to her, and I think this is when she realizes the depths of Adam's obsession with her, personally, and starts to understand how far he's willing to go to hurt her specifically. Based on her facial expressions, she's freaking the fuck out when Adam has Yang in his sights. Her lines after Adam fucking stabs her are basically begging Yang to leave her and Adam to not hurt Yang, to no avail. There's no way she's deliberately tanking damage just so she could run later. If she had the Aura for that, she'd just... use her clone to escape to begin with, have Yang cover her escape, and then bail. She's too scared for that kind of coldhearted plan, and it's stupider than just using the clone to get away in the first place. What I think is far more likely is this: we know that people with Aura can recharge it through sheer willpower (see Hazel, Jaune). There aren't many situations more conducive to heroic willpower than this one. Keeping that in mind, I'm pretty sure Blake pushed herself beyond her limits (depleted Aura) for just long enough to get herself and Yang to safety. Seems more in character than fucking letting herself get stabbed, at any rate.

I'm gonna use this post to talk about something that I've wanted to discuss for a while, actually: Yang did nothing wrong in this situation. Yes, blah blah, she was reckless and hot-headed, and every other stupid thing that Taiyang and the fandom likes to say about this scene or whatever, but... no, not really, even if her response had an emotional component (because she's not a fucking robot that Never Does A Wrong Thing, Ever), she actually made the right choice here. She just got stuck in a shitty situation with a near-infinitesimal chance of victory and, predictably, did not win.

Let's discuss the tactical situation. Here's what Yang knows (not thinks, not can reasonably assume, knows):

An unknown assailant just stabbed Blake in the torso, specifically, the abdomen. The abdomen contains lots of blood vessels, organs, and a little thing called the spine. A puncture wound can easily be fatal, and even if it isn't immediately fatal, it can develop lots of complications and kill you slowly and painfully. From Yang's perspective, Blake could be bleeding out. She could be paralyzed. She needs immediate medical attention.

The existence of this wound means Blake's Aura is down. She does not have the innate protection that Huntsmen and Huntresses rely on at this point. She has already been hurt and is vulnerable to being hurt again.

Blake is not moving. Blake is not attempting to get away.

The man who attacked her is armed and demonstrating threatening posture. He is clearly displaying an intent to engage in further aggressive action.

Here's what Yang can assume:

The worst case scenario is that Blake's wound is fatal or crippling. She must assume that Blake needs immediate medical attention because doing otherwise risks leaving her partner dead or paralyzed.

Blake is not moving because she can't move, otherwise she would have done it while Adam was turning to Yang instead of lying there helplessly. Blake cannot escape under her own power.

Adam will continue to hurt Blake if not prevented from doing so.

Adam is stronger than Blake, because he hurt her.

Reinforcements are not coming. White Fang, Grimm, and compromised Atlesian hardware are running around the school. Most of the students are in full retreat. There are few professional Huntsmen or Huntresses on the scene. The protagonist teams have already split on multiple occasions because they can't stay concentrated and still accomplish their objectives.

Here's what Yang needs to do:

Get Blake away from Adam/get Adam away from Blake. She needs to do this, and she needs to do it now, because Blake could be mortally wounded and every second counts. She must make a play that forces Adam to withdraw his attention from Blake, physically separates Adam from Blake, renders him unable to pursue them, and is as close to guaranteed to work as possible,

Get Blake medical attention.

Here's what Yang, crucially, does not know:

The severity of Blake's injuries. She doesn't know if any vital organs have been hit, but she must assume they have because not making that assumption risks not getting Blake to a doctor in time if she truly has suffered damage to her spine or vital organs. She does not know that Blake will be able to get up and carry them both to safety. She must assume that Blake is helpless.

Adam's capabilities. She doesn't know how his weapons work or how his Semblance functions. She doesn't know how he fights or what he wants. She only knows that he has hurt Blake and must be prevented from hurting Blake again.

Yang must process all of this information and make a decision in a split second, because Adam is getting ready to attack either her or Blake, depending on what she does, and has, from her perspective, no interest in waiting for her to work through what she's seeing.

Here's what Yang can do in this situation:

Leave. Some people unironically think this is what she should've done, because abandoning your partner to someone who has already severely injured her is exactly what you should do as a heroic character. I should not have to explain why this is not an option.

Wait for help. There's no guarantee that help will arrive, and the fact that the student teams have already split up means Yang must assume that there's no one to send. Even if someone might show up, Yang does not have time to waste.

Try to talk him down. Risky, because, again, Blake is potentially bleeding out and every second counts, but Yang does try this, in a way, when she warns Adam to get away from Blake. Adam does not get away from Blake. Adam's posture in this situation is threatening. He clearly intends to continue the fight. Continuing to try to deescalate the situation ticks down Blake's timer and there's no indication he'll listen.

Try to distract him or draw him off. Also risky, because she doesn't know what will trigger him to chase her, he can turn around and attack Blake at any point if she isn't interesting enough, and Blake still needs medical attention and can't move under her own power, to the best of Yang's knowledge.

Shoot at him. Reasonable on the surface, maybe, until you actually think about it for a moment. Yang has two types of ammunition: rockets and shotgun shells. Neither are precision weapons. The explosions from her rockets or the spread from her buckshot could easily catch Blake in the blast radius, and Blake, again, has no Aura to protect her. On top of that, she lives in a universe where trained fighters deflect bullets as a matter of course. Nothing is preventing him from just flicking her own rockets/buckshot into Blake's unprotected face. This choice runs the risk of getting Blake killed.

Shoot at something else. Yang has an established tactic of attacking the terrain around her to give herself an advantage, but doing so here, just like shooting at Adam directly, runs the risk of getting Blake caught in friendly fire. She cannot afford to put Blake at risk.

Attack Adam directly in melee. This is her best option. Engaging Adam in melee forces him to turn toward her, to take his attention away from Blake, because if he strikes at Blake while Yang's attacking him, her attack lands uncontested. Engaging Adam in melee allows her to strike with precision and avoid harming Blake. Engaging Adam in melee gives Yang a chance to physically move him away from Blake. She can either press her attack or grab Blake and run if her opener works out. I've spent hours thinking about this, because I need better hobbies, and I still can't come up with a better play for someone in Yang's situation with Yang's toolkit to make after all that reflection and with the benefit of hindsight.

Again, Yang must consider all of this in a split second: the whole exchange, from Adam stabbing Blake to Yang losing her arm, takes 13 seconds of screentime. There are 3 seconds between Yang realizing Blake is hurt and her telling Adam to get away from her. Adam has assumed his threatening posture by 4 seconds after that at the latest. Yang activates her Semblance and commits to the attack 2-3 seconds later. 10 seconds after seeing that Blake is hurt, Yang is in the air, aiming for Adam. We've had literal years to come up with a solution at this point and I still haven't seen a single post that convincingly argues that what Yang did wasn't the best choice she could've made. The only possible alternative I can think of is Yang committing to the attack and then demonstrating the sort of lateral mobility she displays from Volume 5 on, but even that runs the risk of exposing Blake to attack because Blake is behind Adam and to his left (Yang's right). If Yang jukes toward Blake, she's moving directly into the path of Adam's attack. If she goes the other direction, she's put Adam between her and Blake and the momentum of his attack can easily bring him back around to threaten Blake. The only way I can see this working is if Yang pulls off an extremely technically precise move (sliding low under a sword slash that comes out so quickly she canonically can't react to it in time) to put herself down by Blake so she can grab her and flee, but this still doesn't solve the problem of Adam's position: he's still right there and able to threaten both of them. She needs to move him, which means she needs to strike him, ideally with her opening move, which means she has to attack him head-on.

tl;dr: Yang did the best she could in a terrible situation and the writers, the fandom, and her own father have been calling her stupid for it ever since.

[jaeharu26]

Really sad how many people carry around ‘brand’ mentality with artists and don’t actually care about the artist or the art anymore once it ‘goes off brand’ or stops being the thing they followed for. Artists and musicians and writers and shit are fucking people, not products, you jackasses. Either you like art or you don’t. I’ll never get that. And I’ll never stop laughing seeing people unfollow or hop off whenever someone decides to learn different stuff or experiment more or try out new things, you know, the shit that keeps this stuff fun and interesting and helps people GET BETTER at shit. I dunno. Just feel like complaining I guess. I see this most personally on Artstation. Whenever I post something semi-realistic I get a bunch of followers, but heaven forbid I change styles and do something 2D or an animation or a music piece or something that greatly offends the “I’mOnlyHereForBigBooba” followers. Smh. Sorry I’m STILL not a fucking product I guess, and NEVER will be. I want to actually LEARN shit still and do different shit and I LEARNED about style and how to do different ones and like jumping around so I CAN keep shit new and interesting for me but it’s whatever. People are too fucking mind-warped with corporations and branding and shit on social media these days anyway. And style isn’t even a real fucking thing but so many people cling so tightly to it. It’s just a fucking marketing ploy at best dude. Either you learn how to paint fully or you don’t. Once you learn the fundamentals well enough, you can see exactly what ‘style’ is and what/how people ARE using the fundamentals to sell it. I dunno man. I’m all for sticking to something if you like it, but I think I’m always gonna find it gross when people get all weird about artists improving themselves or deviating from what they think they should be seeing from them or trying to pressure them into staying in some little box they put them in on their own. Like damn if you’re so uppity about shit being a certain way for you to both keep following it or liking it then stop being weird towards other people and start learning to make your OWN shit. Artists that deviate and play around with things should be fucking free to do so and should be celebrated. Like hell yeah, have fun man. Still just sad I see this so little these days and when I do see it it always does have such a negative impact on them instead of a positive one like it fucking should. It’s so stupid.

[hiro-doodlez]

HELP I can't see my therapist for a couple of weeks and am currently having something i like to dub "yet another hiro autism crisis" where i contemplate if my therapist gave me the right diagnoses (she has told me she is not certified to give autism diagnoses, and instead more things like depression) Right now, I am diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety/ Social anxiety (its still up in the air, DPDR, and depression. idk if that matters SO NOW I LIST RANDOM THINGS that could be considered symptoms or not I DUNNO HOW TO DO THISS feel free to ask questions about some of the crap i say here half of it doesn't make sense

First off, I have a general trouble understanding most social situations, and struggle sometimes when talking about practically anything. For example, earlier today my step-mom basically said she wasnt going to finish her food and let my brother have it. my brother said he would leave 2, he didnt (BOZO) and later after he left she found the empty container and said something along the lines "HAH! I thought he said he was gonna leave me 2!" and immdeiately without thinking i went "hey! you said he could have as many as he can! and hes working 10 hours a day and needs his energy!!" half jokingly and she got mad at me for it, we got into a mini argument over that.

When saying something thats serious, i tend to make a joke around it and i have NO CLUE why. I just CANT be openly upset around people. For example, when being told about something that happened to me as a kid that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED RAGRHAGHAG, instead of having a breakdown and being reasonably upset, i burst out into giggles and laughs while my brother was just so fucking confused on what was wrong. It was kinda like i couldn't stop and it fucking sucked

The TINIEST things can upset me, and other HUGE things can have little to no effect. Its so incredibly annoying

I have INTENSE fluxuations in interests, hobbies, and motivation for certain projects. I will start on this huge project that im INCREDIBLY excited for, and then a week later have little to no interest in continuing it.

I make everything about my personality a joke, i dont know why. EVERYTHING i tend to say or do has to be funny. it's like i dont want people to see beneath that

I fluctuate in personality A TON, especially depending by the people i am around. At school, I'm the quiet kid. I don't talk to anyone except maybe 5 people, but other than that i tend to stay completely silent. It could be a mask? i dunno. but when im at home, ask my brothers, i am BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. it might also be me just getting some of my energy out? RRAHHH I DUNNOOO

I will simply forget to do very important things to the point of endangering my health. Like forgetting to eat for a day straight. my step-mom thinks i have an ED AND I DONT. i literally just keep realizing suddenly at like 6 pm all i have eaten is a couple of skittles and pringles.

i have no clue how talking to people works and im constantly winging it. I forget how to have friends especially how to even talk or interact with them and its so stupid. I can't ever start a conversation with someone without having at least 5 minutes going "am i weird for this am i being annoying am i being clingy".

If i say even one thing wrong i WILL be thinking about it for DAYS thinking about how they probably hate me now and im a terrible person ect. ect.

I tend to hide many of my traits (especially good ones) because i am incredibly embarrassed and never want anyone to EVER compare themselves to me.

im a people pleaser does that count

i tend to get extremely upset if i get told one bad thing about something that i like or just a project i have. For example, I had this fandom silly man poll because i just wanted to find out who was silly. Then one of my friends just posted something like "i hate fandom polls theyre the worst" and i just lost complete motivation afterwards. I haven't touched that blog in WEEKS at this point becuase i simply have no more interst

I have had a meltdown or 2 before, and they both stemmed from being told about how i was a bad person. i don't know why the hell thats a thing

I can't stay focused on one thing for long periods of time (ADHD cough cough) Like literally earlier i was watching this video about autistic traits and i kept having to back the video up because i would get sidetracked in my mind to the point where im just not listening anymore

if im not paying attention to people sometimes I SWEAR theyre saying "ffajaleifnanamzmaldafjkjeffnma" and as soon as i start noticing it suddenly theres words again. hate that.

i have times where it can kinda seem like i cant speak, and if i do everything comes out wrong and jumbled. Like when my autistic friend would have a sensory related meltdown, i would never know what to do and end up going dead silent because of being so mad at myself for not knowing how to help (any tips actually hahahahaHOW DO I HELP)

i have little idea who the hell i am. had a mini-crisis because i didn't know what my favorite color was because before, it was the color my friend with synesthesia said i was and i just went with that (i think its purple or blue i have no fucking clue JFALJK)

i will have spikes of random motivation on one thing. like learning lanugauges, i will have a week where its so easy to get like 10 lessons on duolingo done a day and then the next week its a struggle to get even one done.

i focus better with distractions ??? I can't focus without music and tend to do better on reading tests if everyone else in the class is talking ???

i remember the most random things about certain things. Like, i could not for the LIFE of me remember what color that one persons hair that i was talking to for 15 minutes straight. but i can remember that they had pink socks on. WHY IS THAT WHAT I REMEMBER??

I hate organization and doing the same thing every day. i NEED chaos. My brother a little bit ago helped me out and got me to make a personal to-do list. i couldnt do it a single day even though the things were extremely simple like "brush hair, make bed, eat breakfast ect."

i zone out a LOT. especially when people bring up topics im uncomfortable with or conflict with my current feelings. i go into a kinda little talking (not nonverbal, i can still talk) or just confused state that freaking sucks.

when im in a high energy mood i tend to not feel.. reall???? I do many things overboard and annoy the heck out of my brothers. i always feel terrible afterwards.

Idk if this is weird to say but i tend to get really off put when people im comfy with get haircuts or major changes in their appearance. I never like the change no matter what the hair cut looks like. i dont have any clue why

i have no clue whether or not any of this is real or if I have managed to make it all up in my head. (bascially when i was younger i wanted attention and ended up faking depression for a year straight and was an absolute ass to my friends and blah blah blah)

[likesummerrainn]

tagged by the darling @m00sebaby! rules: post 10 of your favorite comfort movies and then tag 10 people (i can't promise ten people but i CAN promise ten movies!)

In no particular order:

The Brothers Bloom (2008) surprise surprise right? I watched this first in 2012 while going through Mark Ruffalo's filmography and I fell in love with it then and is one movie that just always kinda stuck in the back of my mind all these years. I rewatched it a couple of nights ago since I'm now going through Adrien Brody's filmography and I am happy to confirm that I was right in 2012. Best movie ever tbh I'm obsessed. It's also a Rian Johnson film and i just love that i loved his movies before i even knew it.

See How They Run (2022) It's a whodunnit! There's nothing I love more than a clever little one-off whodunnit! Sam Rockwell does an English accent Saoirse Ronan is so fun and keeps her own accent Adrien Brody is a sleaze bag it's based around an Agatha Christie story it's literally everything I'd want in a movie??? Truly don't think anyone cared about this movie as much as I do which is kinda funny I won't lie

Howl's Moving Castle (2004) Even if no one else got me i know Howl's Moving Castle got me. I watched this movie for the first time last year while i was sick and it has been a comfort ever since!

Far From The Madding Crowd (2015) Everyone has a Period Piece that is Theirs. and this one is mine! Literally my favorite period movie ever I know everyone talks about pride and prejudice but THIS movie man!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish i had more to coherently say about it but I don't all I can say is Matthias Schoenaerts.

Oceans 8 (2018) Listen. This is the best movie of the Oceans franchise. This one and Oceans 11 are the best okay. I dunno I just adore Sandra Bullock and Anne Hathaway in this movie specifically!!!!

Birds of Prey (2020) BEST SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST!!!! The beginning of my love for Margot Robbie! It's just SO fun and SO exciting and I just think all comic movies should be this bright and fun and exciting and silly.

Logan Lucky (2017) Heist movies remain the best kind of movies. It's literally the FUNNIEST movie I've seen in a long time my mom and I can't stop quoting it.

Bullet Train (2022) Everyone said this was a shit movie but I can't hear them over how hard I laugh every time I watch it like is it stupid??? sure yeah but is it hilarious???? absolutely!!!! Also. Hiroyuki Sanada and Andrew Koji. That is all.

Young Frankenstein (1974) Literally. Best movie ever made. Funniest movie ever made. There's nothing else to say

John Wick 3: Parabellum (2019) It's my favorite of the franchise tbh? I've watched this one more than the others cause I just love this one the most

Tagging! @roderickstrong @werewolves @red-dipshit @saltydornishman @krischamplander

and anybody else who would like to do it! i'm always looking for new movies to watch

[3vwritesthings]

Hi i just saw your post about giving us a genshin impact s/o and i would like to try if you dont mind 👉👈

So I go by she/her, straight, capricorn, im 168cms tall and my MBTI is ISFP-T.

Uhhh my fav type of clothing is techwear and some gothic elements (not fully goth fhdhdh) i also wear lots of skinny jeans and oversized hoodies (they make me feel comfy)

Im a gamer (surprise surprise 🤣) but lately ive only been playing genshin (working sucks all my energy), i really enjoy listening to music at stupid hours like 3-4am and just enjoy the calm, lately ive been obsessed with phonk, but i also slide in songs like infinity, middle of the night in it 😭😭

Uhhh i dunno man i love rain? 😂😂😂 My friends say im really sarcastic and sometimes i do really dumb shit but at least i always make them laugh with my stupidity 🤣🤣😂😂😅😅😢😢😭😭

Im also very shy until i feel comfortable around people (then i become as chaotic as i can be 8D)

I have a huge ass bitch resting face - tons of people say i look unapproachable thanks to that 🤣🤣🤣 but then they say im funny so its fine ig 😅

I have really hard times explaining myself 8D had tons of friendships ruined cause people misunderstand me alot.. So i sometimes just either shut up during a fight or i retreat and apologize for the sake of keeping said friendship

Oh i have really hard times when it comes to start something or plainly staying focused most of the time (i can hyper focus sometimes to the point i wont even realize whats going on around me)

And i guess thats it? I don't really have a type and i also dont mind taller or shorter s/os than me ehehe 👉👈

Sorry i ranted alot 😭😭

Thank you for this btw!

I’m thinking…Rosaria! (Best friend) S/O: Childe(?) please read [A/N] at the bottom 😭

Probably met when one of you complimented each others outfits.

Both of y’all got that resting-bitch face and when people look intimidated you probably stand there for a moment, look at each other and then you laugh while she smirks?

Tried her best to understand you but will think it over if she doesn’t. (Doesn’t jump to immediate conclusions)

Will tap you on the head if you hyper focus. (If you don’t respond she’ll kick the table really loudly or say “Helloooo!“ in your ear)

Will stand up for you in a fight.

Will not take other people’s bullshit abt you and knows that you’re misunderstood at times. People just don’t have patience (years) to try and understand the way she does.

Plays games with you and probably curses a lot if you’re playing an FPS and she misses a shot.

“FU-.”

She looks tired and she’s not a very energetic person but she lets you drain your energy with her. (Absorbtion)

Will stay up late with you <3 and likes hearing your music especially if you recommend her some.

Gives you a specific look suggesting you don’t do whatever stupid thing you’re about to do.

I scrolled up a little too late to see you were straight so I had to re-edit the first portion and I’m really tired and don’t have enough energy to rewrite a s/o portion for Childe 😭 I’M SO SORRY to summarize what I would have written: Slight opposites attract. It’s the small things that bring you closer together.

Once again I’m so sorry I totally messed this up 😭

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Welcome to part two of whatever this is or as I like to call my Angry Bird Family Au, this time with the rest of season 2 and maybe some season 3.

Firsrly I want to stabilish some ground rules for my Gotham AU's:

1️⃣ Oswald doesn't gradually becames dumber. His loss of the strategic power he was known for in the early seasons had no narrative sense or explanation and soo doesn't exist.

2️⃣ Ivvy has her normal age. Now I like to belive that hers and Oswald relacionship would be different if she looked like a young teen, because we see how Oswald treats childrem (even though he dislike most of them) and I do think while he knows Ivvy is a kid the cognitive dissonance of seing an adult woman instead makes so he doesn't really sees her as a child.

3️⃣ I dunno if I have the hability to write DID in a realistic way and don't want to half ass some ableist bs like Gotham did, so Riddler is less of a second personality and more like a metaphor for Ed's gradual transformation.

4️⃣ All of this are minor notes, after all this is a mere "random au notes" post annyway. Also my explanation for Isabe-lah is completly insane but it's more than the show so fuck it.

5️⃣ Ed reacts in a more in characther way to Isabe-lah abeit still a completly stupid, insane and "we can see the tragedy for the start" way. [This will probably only be relevant in the next post of this AU, but hey, consider yourselfs warned]

6️⃣ Gabe doesn't betray Oswald. Now while I loved the whole scene, it doesn't make sense to me that during all the other times Oswald was in a similar low he stayed loyal, because there is no difference between the time he finally betrays Os and all the others. I will always go to the middle term route and say he did dislike Oswald and saw him as a freak but he was always sure Oswald would win and that time wasn't different. [Again won't come up this part, but still] (I do preffer to imagine Gabe was actually loyal and liked Oswald, but I think the "hates his guts but still belives him blindly" fits cannon better)

So let's go:

▫️We are back where we started and Oswald is still a fugitive and while Jason wants to follow him and hide, Oswald doesn't let him because he can actually be a responsable adult every full moon.

▫️While he bregundgly agrees to not follow Oswald around - as long as they have a way to comunicate (via burner phones and hidden letters in the right places) - he absolutely refused to go to Jim's again. He may like Lee, but he is not going to play "fake family" with a pig even less one that cleary sees him in a bad light already. (Sorry, Gotham!Jim fans, but this man totaly it's the to consider a kid an irredemable criminal. I mean he never tried to help Selina have a stable life or get out of crime, he treated her with kiddie gloves but never oftered real support or even acted a bit as if there was a clear connection between poverty and crime, he would probably blame Oswald for Jason's behavior hope keeping them appart would solve it and after seeing it didn't ignore all the other factors and see Jason as a lost cause, though in a softer way)

▫️After considering Gabe, Butch (who he is at odds with btw, because at this point he is dating Tabitha and recently lost his hand thanks to Penguin) and worse Zsaaz for posible homes for Jason (Oswald does not know many adults who don't hate him), the kid just stays with Ed. Helping Jason is the perfect alibi for why Edward would aid a known criminal and he is already there anyway and no one can really make Jason move if he doesn't want to.

▫️While Ed is a better option than small mob guard with not that much on the brains depart, guy who just lost his hand by Jason's father figure and hitman and Jim (if you ask Jason, other people would say Jim was fine) he still has no idea how to deal with kids and treats Jason as basically a small adult (with more rigths to ice cream). He does gives Jason homeschool program a hard update cause Ed thinks normal schooling is not advanced enough, gives him ice cream when he is sad, is real nice and buyed him a plushie penguin when he said he missed Oswald. He also sees no problem in bringing bodies from work to the apartment, let's Jason desapear for days like a cat (as long as he has a knife), has no rules (besides the homeschooling, don't mess with the bodies unless I"m surpervisin and that Jason caries a knife at all time and the last was an Oswald rule really) and ignores Jason's nightmares cause he is just the wrong person to have an emotional talk to. Jason thinks he is great.

▫️Then Oswald is catched and send to Arkham. Jason is furious. Specially when Arkham doesn't let him visit without the signature of his legal guardian (forged documents or not he is literaly trying to visit his legal guardian) and sad. While he can't visit he does send Oswald letter's and care packages. Strange confiscates most of them. But neither of them knows that. By this tine he also starts to visit Gertrude's grave with Ed and when he is mentslly ready by himself too. [Detail: he was also not allowed to see Oswald in the precint and Ed had to basicaly infiltrate the kid so they could say goodbye, so in this AU Ed get's a third infiltration at the GCPD and I can assure he used a dumb disguise this time too]

▫️ As his inicial plan was to let Jason stay with Jim, Oswald din't told Jason about what truly happened to Galavan. On otherhand he did tell Edward. As Jason ended up at Nygma, Ed told him and Jason decided to blame Jim for everything (I need to point out that not only Jason is a kid but Ed is very biased and that if Thalia was able to manipulate Jason against Bruce in the name of Joker being alive - and cannon ignoring the amazing convoluted reason the OG comic gave for it - Ed can do it too).

▫️Now while I think Nygma could've solved his Jim Gordon paranoia by forging some documents- like a resignation letter wrote by Ms. Kringle that just got lost in the mist of GCPD general chaos - he only has his paranoia and a eight years old who's moral compass has being broken to pieces by bad influences. Jason has no idea about the detals behind Kristen's death (or he would be rightfully mad at Nygma) so when he hears Ed talking to himself about planning Jim Gordon's dowfall he is "I'm in".

▫️Ed's plan goes mostly the same, except Jason helps to make Lee less suspicious by making her belive Nygma's odd behavior is because he had to take care of a kid and also acidentaly giving Ed the idea to fake Kristen's resignation letter (I will NEVER understand why Ed didn't do it, like he had all the means - btw, I say Jason accidentaly gave the idea cause Jason doesn't have the full Kristen picture or he would be kindda shaken cause she was a good person who kept getting the short end of the stick and he knew a lot of similar cases on the street).

▫️By hanging a lot around the GCPD - because of Ed - and being a very good spy thanks to his friendship with Cat and his street time he does hear Jim talking to Harvey about Oswald asking him for help and "lying" about being tortured , Jason is pissed and tries to tackle Jim for it (he is a child so Jim just stops him with one hand and holds the thrashing kid until he calms down, Harvey helps. Jason does thanks Harvey because he can be polite, but he just says "I hate you and I hope you suffer" to Jim (his accent is slowly fading as he hangs with Oswald and Ed just as it did after a while of him living with Alfred and Bruce in cannon). [This scene has no reason, I just really think it was a very low moment for Jim- he has some of those, enough to accidentaly subvert the "not all cops" thing he has going - and I needed the catharsis.] (Of course, for ny real hc catharsis is of Barbara Lee discovering this moments and desconstructing Jim as she starts to leave childhood and symbolicaly to question the systems of power she was raised and had faith in ultimately becaming batgirl and fighting for a system that can actually help opressed people and allow criminals to change. But that is me projecting into Babs as always).

▫️Next bullet point. Oswald leaves Arkham after being brainwashed, goes to Tabby and Butch gets some featters and goes to Ed. Things go mostly as cannon, except between Ed and Oswald, Jason always had his loyalty set (say all you want about cannon Jason, but for all his active antagonizing he is still very loyal to Bruce and the batfam, he won't follow them blindly but he will choose than at every shot), especially whe Oswald cleary needs his help. So he picks one of the books Ed gave him and his penguim plushie, laughs at Oswald's face when he says Jason should stay with Ed cause Oswald has no house, basically say "I was homeless for waay longer, don't care" and revenge be dammed (he does promises Ed he won't tell his plans for Jim to no one and wishes him luck.

▫️Elijah has a son and a grandson and Jason is very distrusting at first. But if the guy is danger, more reason for him to stay, right? Also he is eight and Elijah bribes him with age apropiated books and ice cream. He still absolutly refuses to have a separeted room from Oswald. Between the whole Galavan deal, Arkham and the brainwashing, the baby got separation anxiety and can you blame him?

▫️Brainwashed or not, Oswald is the best in helping Jason with nightmares and making him feel save (even through he won't actually kill the monster and will talk some bs about violence being wrong when Jason asks even for the imaginary ones, truly sad).

▫️While Jason does quickly grows to trust and like Elijah, the same does not apply to Grace and her kids and during their small period of bliss (and how long was it? A week? A month? Three days? Who knows, time is weird in Gotham) Oswald has to keep reprimanding Jason's manners though in the most soft tone posible. Elijah finds it funny. "I'm sorry for calling Grace an opportunistic whore, even though it was totaly called for and I totaly belive she is all that. But it was rude and I'm better than that. I'm also sorry for saying that Charles is dumb and any book he writes will be an offense to literature and implying that all the things I said to Grace apply to Shasa, the last one isn't even all true yes she is awfull and also an opportunistic whore but she doesn't look like a Dicken's villan."

▫️It doesn't change much. Except that when Shasta attemps her weird seduction plot, Jason and his plush Penguin are also in the bed because the aforementioned separation anxiety and it is an even weirder event to everyone involved. Also Elijah does talk to Shasha about it cause of course Jason would bable, this time it even was kindda inocently. He was just complaining about being waked up be Shasha being crazzy. She pretends Jason missanderstood the situation and she was just being friendly and calling them to breackfest. Oswald agrees because the whole thing makes him unconfortable.

▫️Things still go mostly the same. Grace tries to ofter only Oswald a home after Elijah death (because Oswald can do a DNA test and be recognized as heir but now she knows Jason is adopted he really isn't her problem) but stands the ofter to the kid because Oswald says that without Jason he won't stay (and starts questioning her because Jason isn't the known criminal) and she doesn't want to let loose threats.

▫️When I say things went the same I mean it. So yes, Oswald still cocked his step-siblings and fed them to Grace (I will always defend he didn't eat them himself cauee he was very disgusted by Pig's meatpies). Beforehand he did ask Jason to stay in the library because he is a tiny bit better at not exposing kid's to gruesome scenes than Ed. And Jason of course realized he was back and hugged him first.

▫️He also has his weird pos-brainwash breakdown but it lasts less time cause Jason is really concerned. So he clean the bodies, keeps Graces head and lives a kindda normal out outsied of the mob scene for a while, he does only come back a 100% after he sees Galavan is back, but this time he is functional until that moment. No roting corpses.

▫️Remember the whole "not exposing my kid to gruesome scenes". He does bring Jason to his "let's rocket launch Galavan" mission cause Jason also deserves revenge for Gertrud. I still think he is in the same level of parenting as Bruce (depending on the Bruce version even better).

Next step is the whole mess that is season 3. Get ready.

[himbos-hotline]

I’ve been thinking about watching Markiplier (most cuz you keep posting about it) but like I don’t really get what it is? Like it’s a YouTube guy right, but the different things he has, are they like one-shot kinda things or like long form tv? What’s his deal? (Idk just tell me about Markiplier)

Okay so his "deal" is that none of his fans know what it is. Mostly he is a gaming youtuber but sometimes we get videos where he is bullying corperations and tormenting del monte until theyre dead to him or him "eating" takis which was....

he also owns many tatical shovels and so many flashlights and one of them harbours the power of the sun. So yknow- the man is a god and could kill any one of us if he had the brains to do it.

He is full of ADD and its great to watch because I dunno its relatable. also theres not that many content creators that I know off that talk about having adhd/add other disabilities which makes me feel less, awkward and subconcious about having it.

trust me friend, none of us "get" what markiplier is. My big sibling and I have this running joke where he is just a forth dimentional being.

also, apart from gaming and random "I BROUGHT A THING!" videos and some other videos like Pain where he talks about the different accidents/illnesses he had and how pain isnt something to be ashamed off because we all go through pain and its okay to feel hurt and emotional and stuff because thats what makes us human- us feeling pain and being able to still exist and be a good person. He is a very big supporter of like queer community and other communities which is another reason why I like him.

There is a story about what Mark really means to us but thats long and sappy and emotional and kinda depressing so we wont get into that right now. But yeah hes just a really cool dude who to me, growing up in a very catholic household showed me than masculinty doesnt equate to being strong or handsome [and he is both, very much so, men my beloved] but its also about having a good heart and making people laugh and not having the fear or guilt of disappointment around our emotions. that crying is okay because the tears will grow the flowers of new emotions. That people matter regardless of who/what they are. Like there are videos where he wears dresses and is just "it spins!" and being like 15/16 growing up and being surrounded by a lot of catholics seeing an AMAB be in "womens clothing" was really special too me and caused me to look into it. There is also a video where he asks someones pronouns and not only sticks to the "he/him, she/her but also xe/xem" which is also very cool!

Watching Mark is a bit like having a dad, a big brother and a seven year old wrapped into one body and sometimes hes all of them but also sometimes he is none of them and were just "..cool!"

also, from a video perspective. there are also the "aventures with markiplier" or the markipler cinimatic universe or simply the micu. It starts with who killed markiplier, a who done it which dives into the story of a cheating wife, a depressed husband, the lover being a former best friend with supernatrual bullshit and ends well....as far as we know its not ended yet.

I can go more into his channel or the MICU or the man himself because ive been watching since I was 12 and have a lot of feelings and thoughts about the stupid little youtube man who does the sceme at pixels on his compooter

he also has a super cute doggo Chica and another good boy called Henry whose technically his girlfriends dog, but chica and henry come as a pair and they are really the reason why people watch [/hj]

[neepin]

*punches wall like a feral animal* neEP- I SWEAR TO GOD- I’ve been looking at your art admiringly like a little kid- it’s just so GORGEOUS, FABULOUS, STUNNING, WHY? I know I sound stupid right now, but you need to KNOW! the way to you literally draw lines for fucks sake-! IT’S AMAZING, i’m buzzing-

You’re just, so talented??? I literally can’t help but look up to your art- like i can’t describe it, it’s just- good- I could right an entire essay about it right now. like your art tics my little neurodivergent brain in all the right ways. It fuels me…

HUGGING YOU RIGHT NOWWWKMWNGSGSGWGWG YOUUU… YOUUu….. it’s shit like THIS that keeps me posting on here oh my god like. I was so convinced nobody would see my things on here. I kind of started a tumblr blog so that I would be able to yell into the void and MAYBE have a couple people see my art but I never expected such kind words like this!!!!

AHH if you want advice UHMM uhhhmm i am notoriously awful at offering tips but uhh, I really do just ! Draw. God, I genuinely wish I had something in mind. The best I can really say that works for me is when you draw, draw what you love. Always draw what you enjoy. Branch out from that and experiment with all sorts of things, but having things you enjoy that you can always do back to is really nice. Cause when you do draw things outside of your comfort zone you can always find a new thing that you really enjoy. I dunno man, ! i dunno what I’m saying HAH

There’s so many strict rules with art. But for me art is fun. Make bad art! I love making bad art! Fuck yes !! It’s so much better than agonising over things. Art, for me, is just good fun. But I respect people who really want to perfect their art so much. And I’ll get around to learning anatomy eventually because I want to be able to, but honestly? Just draw stuff. Cause it’s fun. And if you enjoy it, thats when the aspiration to really learn kind of comes in for me? I guess?? If that makes any sense. I’m just saying words I don’t really know how to formulate what I’m trying to say

really though!!!!!! ENOUGH OF MY TED TALK,, I just love to ramble. like. Dude thank you so much for your supportive words. It is so crazy to hear, thank you so so much. I really do appreciate it !!!❤️ things like that is really what keeps my art going. I love hearing what people have to say. So thank you!! I really hope you well!!!

[x0l0tl99]

You aren't going to like this... but the person you bullied to near suicide is talking about what you done. Exposing the whole situation and how you undermined their trauma for an AU, how you essentially moved on and gave your half ass apology which everyone agreed wasn't sincere at all. There's been rounds on discord servers and a now deleted post on reddit with screenshots and everything, courtesy of the bullied person's friends who have said that they tried to educated you on why your behavior wasn't good (they sent screemshots of the asks they sent you, which had no insults either so they weren't the assholes). The bullied OP never gave your name, but another user recognised you and revealed it in the comments after the post was beginning to pick up attention. OP deleted. But basically OP said they understand they acted irrational, but everyone pointed out that it was you who victim blamed them for an AU. They even made one good point, where they said that it was very hurtful to see that you keep undermining this whole situation too by claiming it was "all for a stupid AU" when OP was really upset at you not taking their abuse seriously. I personally am glad you changed, but I'm seriously very disappointed in you. Because it sounds like your version of the whole thing is completely different from what you been saying. This happened a week ago, and I wanted to tell you sooner but I was scared and didn't want to get involved. But your usernames, both old and new, keep popping up at forums about bullies. Take care.

thank you for telling me this. i definitely reacted very badly at the time, and its definitely my fault for acting so dismissive. im sorry my behavior has come off as dismissive, its just as my mom told me, constantly apologizing doesn't solve things, and it doesn't make people feel better. i never would wish bullying apon anyone as a person who has gone through it, but i caused it to someone else, and i find it hard to forgive myself for that. i know the best thing i can do now is to learn from my mistakes and do better. thats the best we can as imperfect people, right?

anyways, if you see op again, tell them i said they genuinely did nothing wrong and they are awesome and loved and its my fault. i do hope their doing better

man i hope this doesn't come off as like some stupid youtube apology or something. but i dunno im young and stupid i dont know how explain these feelings online. sorry if it does sound like that.