#i feel fucking dead inside | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thornsnvultures · 1 year

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man I wish it was easy for me to cry instead of stuffing shit down all the time. I'm too good at repressing shit and disassociating, the second I start to feel something it gets sucked right back in

#can't sleep because I'm stressing over these medical bill payments that are gonna leave us with maybe 100$ in the bank #my heart feels like it's being sat on by an elephant #but at the same time i feel nothing #like absolutely nothing #i feel fucking dead inside #and it'll be fine!!!! we just have to survive til the next paycheck comes!!!! we're okay!!!!#but we're not and so much of it is because of me and my partner is a fucking saint because they're so goddamn understanding #and it makes me feel that much worse #im so tired #i cant do this shit anymore #i cant

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idnwtdta · 5 months

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I literally feel dead in a living body

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channnel · 7 months

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Alan offers you his slushie. (Ft. Oc)

#my dear hatchet man #mdhm game #alan orion #mdhm oc #mdhm fanart #my art #also- thank you for 250 followers!#i had this for a month now- i made this a day before the livestream and after seeing it- i speed through it for two days-#i feel like the brothers would also casually say that their mother is dead and they don't expect anyone to react- except for Jules #Konrad insids the store watching and wondering why the fuck the forest guy is singing

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summerlycoris · 3 months

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Finished some Cassies (plural) off today.

#summerly draws #theyre so smiley i hate them /lying #did... surprisingly okay on the chair. considering i cant draw wheelchairs. its a pediatric wallaby chair. one of the 12'' ones #these are references for something im working on so. theyre not super polished. but they dont have to be #mostly to get a feel for different outfits cassie can wear (and would possibly wear) with different mobility aids #poor moon boot cassie though. i still remember wearing ONE moonboot about two years ago when i broke my ankle #and shes gotta wear two? im a meanie please take her away from me #no really shed be dying inside- how can she wear pretty shoes with THOSE on???#i managed to draw exactly one (1) good hand... out of six. orz kill me dead #edit- i cant believe i forgot to colour her eyebrows on the last one fuck im stupid #dont trust me with anything #is it really a birthday party fanfic #:3 yeah this was secretly character design for my monstrosity lol

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fruitisthenewvegitable · 2 months

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Shout out to @careydraws for giving the people what they want (Taako/Kravitz kiss, Magnus’ ass, angus content)

#taz balance #taz #the adventure zone #the suffering game #i just finished it #i’m going insane #Careydraws thank you for the very tasty art #nom nom nom #I feel dead inside but my cat is next to me so I’ll be fine #fruit rambles #fr though what the fuck actually #why are they all so sad??#im so-#why sad? why can’t they be happy?#😭

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greasydumbfuck · 2 months

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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)

#marvel #frank castle #the punisher #not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense #hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like #so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw #where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway #like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL #but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn #theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it #hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much #like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit #is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now #so many fun ways to interpret this #<guy who is not having fun interpreting this #wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough #god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only #i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling

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scissxrluvv · 1 year

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~Y’all smoke to enjoy it, I smoke to die.~

#grunge #soft grunge #ciggarates #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked #i feel so drained #effy stonem #skins effy #thirteen 2003 #looking for alaska #dead inside #i hate everything #i hate it here

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iwannadiearly · 3 months

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Sorry I ghosted you I was trying to find the will to stay alive.

#tw depressing thoughts #mentally unstable #depresssion #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing stuff #tw depressive #alone with my thoughts #you are not alone #i feel empty #dead inside #feeling alone #leave me alone #mental health #mental illness #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 year

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two wrongs WILL make a right! ive got another lease on life, and im using it well, who cares if this is all fucked up cause we're all GOING TO HELL! IM JUST WILLIAM WHO SHOULD BE DEAD, HAD TO FOLLOW THE THREAD, thought he was just chillin! now he is a villain! HES ALWAYS SUCH A BUMMER, HE WANTS TO TRUST HIS BROTHER WILLIAM IN A HALLWAY BY HIMSEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi pd spoilers #william wisp #RRAAHHHHGH I KNOW THEIR LIL PARODY OF MICHEAL IN A BATHROOM OR WHATEV WAS SLIGHTLY COMEDIC. LIKE WIWI IN A HALLWAY #HAHAAA HIS NAME IS WIWI ISNT THAT FUNNY. ISNT THAT FUCKIN FUNNY. AND YYYEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!!#WILLIAM IS SO FUCKIN SAD DUDE... ESPECIALLY DURING THE GRAYSCALE ARC. HE REALLY THINKS HES BETTER OFF DEAD.#HIS FIRST DEATH WAS AN ACCIDENT! AND THEN HE WAS SADDLED WITH ALL SORTS OF POWERS AND RESPONSIBILITY HE DIDNT FUCKIN WAANT #AND IT TURNS OUT HES STILL DEAD! HIS BODY IS ROTTING AND FALLING APART AS WE SPEAK!! THATS SO FUCKING SCARY!!!#BUT THEN. OOOHH BUT THEN HIS WONDERFUL FRIEND DAKOTA TELLS HIM. ILL GIVE YOU MY HEART SO YOU CAN LIVE AGAIN. AND IT WORKS!!!#WILLIAM ACCEPTS LIFE AND REJECTS THE WISP POWERS AND FEELS SO SO THANKFUL TO HIS WONDERFUL BEST FRIEND DAKOTA.#A DEBT TO REPAY EVEN IF DAKOTA WILL NEVER CASH IN ON IT. HES JUST A PERFECT HERO LIKE THAT.. BUT WILLIAM.. OHH ROTTING LIL WILLIAM..#EVEN WITH NEW BLOOD RUNNING THROUGH HIM HES STILL DEAD INSIDE. HES STILL USELESS. POWERLESS. SELFISH AND IMPULSIVE AND STUPID AND JUST.#NOT A HERO. WHICH IS FINE! IF ONLY HE WAS A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO RETURN THE FAVOR TO DAKOTA THOUGH. BUT HES NOT. HE DOESNT THINK SO.#WILIAM REALLY BELIEVES THAT HE IS FORSAKING EVERY GIFT OF LIFE HE HAS BEEN GIVEN. HE THINKS HE SHOULD BE DEAD BUT HES TOO SCARED TO DIE #JUST FAR TOO SCARED.. OF EVERYTHING.... WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT BRINGS US HERE. I GUESS THE GOOD NEWS IS THEYLL FORGET.#HE JUST WANTED TO TRUST HIS BROTHER. HE WANTED TO HAVE A BROTHER AND FIX THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND HONESTLY?#I THINK I WOULD DO THE SAME THING IN HIS SITUATION. MAYBE USE MY WORDS BETTER BUT YKNOW. THATS HIS BROTHER!!!#OKAy okay william makes me sooo EMOTIONAL but now ill mention the ART #THIS WAS Aboutthe time i actually figured out how to draw the white streak in williams hair. IT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH ORIGINALLY but imPROU #AND THE SHARP SPIRALS!! I LOVE THE SHARP SPIRALS. I LOVE DRAWING HIS HAIR JUST IN GENERAL... I JUS LOVE DRAWIN WIWI...#OHH And xavior... poor xavior... theyre still looking for cantrip arent they? they have no idea where she is..and DAVID YOU BIIITCH #david bell is such a good fucking antagonist. he COMPLETELY believes himself to be in the right and bizly plays him SO WELLL!!#BECAUSE HES SMART!! AND SMART PEOPLE CAN LOGIC THEIR WAY THROUGH ANYTHING! THATS WHY SMART PPL FALL INTO CULTS TOO!#BC A SMART PERSON CAN FIND A GOOD WAY TO JUSTIFY ALMOST ANYTHING TO THEMSELF. DAVID IS SMART AND THATS SCAARRYYYY...#IM So excited to see the consequences of williams actions carry on into season 3. i hope they contact allen and exavior and do. idk. someth

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gracefireheart · 2 years

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Wanted to draw Scanlan and Pike in traditional Northern Norway bunad, so here y’all go o/

Also, side note that’s I guess a HC now: The bunad Pike is wearing used the be Wilhand’s, while the bunad Scanlan’s wearing used to be Juniper (btw, yes, I know bunad are expensive af, but idc)

#my art #Scanlan Shorthalt #Pike Trickfoot #pikelan #Vox Machina #CriticalRole #I feel dead inside from all the details #I literally read a book about bunad where they detailed everything about the dress and suit version of the Northern Norway bunad #and holy FUCK the suit bunad has like 40 buttons #WHY #And the checker pattern is so fucking detailed that I had to make it more simplified here orz #Tldr I probably wont be drawing a bunad again in the near future lol

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idnwtdta · 4 months

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there is so many fuckin things i wanna say loud but i keep it to myself