#i feel like i could have made little nico a lot smaller. or maybe he's just tall for his age or yusuf is just wee. hmm...

[non-un-topo]

Scuffle

[chaosduckies]

Rising Tides (Chapter 2)

A lot of you guys liked the first one, so I quickly wrote this one just to clear up the cliffhanger on the first part hah~ (Sorry not sorry) But, hope you guys enjoy because I really like these characters and plan on actually doing more drawings of them!

Word Count: 4.3k

CW: Mentions of death, Description of Death (Doesn’t actually happen), I think that’s it but if not you guys tell me!

2- Nico 

I didn’t know where I was going. The last thing I remember seeing were a pair of blue eyes and then nothing. Now, I was being taken somewhere in the fist of this giant freaking mer that’s taken me as a snack. How do I know? Oh well, what else feels soft and sort of squishy when you were just in a cave? A hand. So no here I was, in the midst of a panic attack while also trembling so much I was so sure that this mer kidnapping me could feel it. I mean, it wouldn’t be surprising. 

The water around me was moving, which was the only indication that I wasn’t going to die just yet. Were they saving me for later? There has to be some way out of this. I couldn’t stop the panicking thoughts in my mind. I didn’t want to die. At least not yet. I didn’t even know how long we’ve been moving. Hours? Days? Something like that. 

My tail fin was still torn, but I’d bet if I really tried I could swim. Just not as fast. Would it be enough to escape this mer? Probably not but it was worth a shot. I didn’t really get a good look at how bad the tears were in the dark cave, but I’m sure it’ll heal on it’s own in just a couple days. Hopefully. That’s if I can get out of here. 

I felt us stop moving, making me press my back into the flesh behind me and try to make myself seem smaller. Where were we? I couldn’t see anything but the purple scales that came from my own tail. 

“Haven’t seen you in a while-“ The voice stopped abruptly, “Want to explain?” 

“A shark was chasing a mer, I couldn’t be there in time before the shark got ahold of the little guy, and here we are now.” It sounded like a tired voice. It was louder too. I held my breath when the hand opened up, leaving me entirely out in the open. My eyes darted all over the place. There was a tiny little reef in an underwater ravine looking thing, along with some things that looked like another mer was living there. Just some feet in front of me was a mer just a little taller than a human, with a dark green tail, eyes, and dirty blonde hair that somewhat covered his eyes. Who was this? 

My eyes looked around, trying to find the face that connected to the mer that was still holding me (Oh my gosh please let me go I don’t feel so good right now-) But I’ve never seen a mer as big as he was. And that just made me all the more terrified. I was maybe the size of his fingernail, if I was lucky. 

Dark blue eyes were trained on me, instantly making me bite back the scream I wanted oh so badly to let out. I stuffed my tail closer to my side, tryin got hide that I was hurt, but I’m sure he already knows. But does he know how badly? Maybe I can somehow trick him? It was a long shot, but I’m pretty sure I could. 

The mer holding me looked away and turned towards the other mer that was studying me. I couldn’t help but catch the white tuff of hair in his brown hair. That was weird. Not the thing I should be worried about though. The green-tailed mer swam up to me, catching sight of my torn tail fin and sighed, shaking his head. 

“You’re not going to be able to swim for a long while, little mer.” He gestured for him to see more and I couldn’t help but listen. Why was this one helping? Did he have the big mer under control? Was he somehow controlling him into not hurting either of us? What was going on! Seriously! 

I stared down at my torn fin, seeing really just how much damage there was. Nearly all the thin pieces of skin were torn off, and the webbing was almost all torn up. Only a few small pieces remained intact. That explains why it hurts to barely even move it. But I won’t be able to swim for a while? How was I going to get back home? I doubt that either of these mers would help me out. It looks to me like the green-tailed one was just going to help me out a little, but he wasn’t going to entirely. I was still frail that the big mer would try to eat me. 

“Yup. This will take a while to heal. What were you doing all the way out here anyways?” The stranger asked. What do I even say? I don't’ even know why I was there. Because I saw something mysterious in the distance? Do I say that I was just exploring? Both were true. What do I say? 

My mouth quivered before whispering a quiet answer, “I-I just s-saw a sh-ship…” I couldn’t finish the rest of my sentence when  the big mer had his full attention on me like he could hear me. I doubt he would be able to. I was such a coward. No wonder everyone in the town wanted me gone. They would be all dead if I stayed and a mer his size came around. Though, I’m pretty sure this mer was huge even by other instances. 

“Hmm. Well, I can’t really help you heal up a wound like this. It’s just going to take some time. I would say for you to go home, but I’m sure that’s pretty far from here, right?” The green-tailed mer smirked, crossing his arms. I couldn’t move, but he already guessed the answer. I didn’t even know where I was. For all I know I could be an entire days travel back to home instead of the one hour swim it had taken for me to get to that reef. Not to mention I’m sure this big mer was going to end up eating me as a not-so filling snack. I shuddered at the thought. 

“Sorry, kid. You can’t stay here either.” Why couldn’t I just stay with him until I was healed and ready to head back home? I would prefer that over staying with the big mer that hasn’t said a word since he let me out. It kind of creeped me out. Plus it looked to me like he didn’t even want to here here right now. Yeah? Well neither do I. Actually, I wouldn’t even be here if he hadn’t taken me. 

“So… what do I do with him?” The big mer asked, looking kind of annoyed now. I was still trembling, but now would be a good time to escape. Now that the green-tailed mer was up close to the big mers face. Otherwise no one’s attention was on me. 

I forced myself up, noting that the skin below me didn’t seem to notice. I took my chance, pushing myself up and trying to swim off, but nothing. Only a burning pain every time I moved my tail, and I was back on the fleshy surface below, not even able to slightly move at all. I groaned to myself, realizing that even if I did manage to swim off, even if I stopped for a second I would slowly start flowing down to the sandy ocean floor. Great. Just great. 

The two were arguing behind me while I stared out into the deep blue ahead of me. There was nothing out there except for a few large rocks and large pieces of seaweed that covered most of the floor. I wasn’t going home. Not anytime soon at least. I was going to die. These people weren’t going to help me, and when I do end up getting better, I would just be eaten, right? The big mer probably thought that if I was hurt I wouldn’t taste as good. I trembled slightly, looking back at my torn up tail. If I hadn’t came all the way out here maybe today could have ended differently? Then again, they were right about my tail being the death of me. They all were. Wow. I really am unlucky. 

“Fine, he’ll stay with me until he gets better, but after that, he’s gone.” The bigger mer growled at the much smaller one, then I was wrapped in a tight fist once again. I’m dead. I’m so so so dead. 

———Callum——— 

Did I care that a small mer was literally going to die if I didn’t help them? Yes, of course I did. Did I expect to have to take care of them until they healed up? No, no I did not. Who knows how long that would be! I couldn’t see the damn wound myself, but from watching the little mer try to escape earlier it looked like he couldn’t even swim a foot away without his tail stinging him. Of course I felt bad, but why did I have to take care of them? They got themselves into this mess in the first place. 

I groaned, swimming back to the cave I’ve called home for a good while. It was surprise to wake up to someone screaming. I had thought it was just my imagination, but when I saw the shark- I thought something was up. Why was the mer even there anyways? Did he even stop to think that something else could be living in there? Or even if there wasn’t what if he was just cornered by the shark that looked about three times his size. Then he’d really be dead. He’s lucky I’m not some sick psycho who’ll eat him. 

To be honest, I really did feel bad for the little guy. I mean, if I were that small and something like that happened to me, I would be terrified. I can literally feel the slightest little tremble in my hand coming from him right now. I’m not a heartless monster like most mers my size. It’s just… I don’t really want to be around someone so afraid of me. Which was why I wanted Archer to take care of him and not me, but of course he can’t. 

After swimming back home for about an hour, I looked for a place the tiny mer could stay at comfortably. I decided on a small little platform with a little seaweed growing. There was some sand too and a few coral bits. I’m pretty sure there were some small little caves he could fit himself into as well. Not too bad honestly. 

I opened my hand, revealing a shaking little mer. I bit the inside of my cheek, tilting my hand slightly to let him down on the rocky platform that seemed all too big for him. I wonder what I looked like to him… Probably huge, intimidating. Exactly what I was expecting. Oh this is going to be a long couple of weeks. I would take him home, but I’m sure that would only bring him more problems if I just came to wherever small little community he was a part of and just left him there. Especially when I’m about 80 percent sure that tail of his doesn’t make it easy to talk to many people already. 

“If you need anything, yell. Don’t try swimming off, you’ll only make my job a million times harder. Otherwise, you’re stuck with me until you can swim on your own again.” I crossed my arms, looking for a reaction, but only seeing shock on the littler mers face. Should I get to know his name? No. There was no point when I’d only remember it as just another person who was afraid of me. 

I swam off, leaving the mer by himself. I doubt he’d try to swim off. If he did he’d just sink right to the bottom of the floor anyways. Plus, it wouldn’t be hard to track him. It’s not like I’m trying to keep him captive here, it’s just I’ve never done this before, and I don’t know who this mer is. I don’t plan on finding out either since this will all just be over soon anyways, right? 

I wrapped in on myself, going back to sleep since I was abruptly woken up. I can just go get food later… and eat away from the little mer. 

——————

A couple hours later I woke up, the water felt just the slightest bit warmer, which meant it was a little after midday. I should probably check up on the little mer. I wasn’t all too worried about him escaping, much less him getting himself into another situation, but still. Checking wouldn’t hurt. 

I swam, rubbing my eyes and yawning when I get to the spot I left him at, not seeing any sign of him there. I searched for a while, gently moving away some of the small stalks of seaweed and still not seeing the little mer. Wow. Did he actually try to swim off? I chuckled a little, but I was still the slightest bit worried. I brought my face closer, spying something purple hidden under a tiny rock. How the heck does he even fit under there? Oh well. I wasn’t about to rip off the rock he’s somehow found a little home under. If it makes him feel safe, then I won’t bother. But I still have to ask him something.

“Are you… hungry? Just come out of your little hiding spot if you are.” I watched for any kind of movement, but nothing. When was the last time he ate even? I guess I’ll leave him be for now. If he doesn’t eat anything tomorrow then I’ll just get him something. I’d hate for him to starve to death just because I didn’t get him anything. I feel like that would be the worst way to die in my personal opinion. 

“Alright. Don’t leave.” I ordered, swimming off to go get myself some food from my usual grounds. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten myself really. I kind of wished that he came out though. Just so I could get a better look at him. The only thing I’ve really noticed was his tail and just how small he was and that was pretty much it. Though, that was kind of my fault for just leaving the second I was able to. 

When I came back, no longer hungry, I saw something small sitting down in the open sand area of the little area. Oh. He was out? I was gone for a good while though. I swam silently, not trying to scare him. What was he doing? It kind of looked like he was just messing with something in his hands. A shell? 

He turned his head slightly, letting out a yelp of surprise when he saw me and rushed to go back into his hiding spot. My heart fell, but I knew this was going to happen. It’ll be over in about two weeks. Then he’ll swim off and forget about you, maybe tell this story to his future kids or something. I didn’t know what other mers did when this happens to them. Though, I doubt this specific thing happens. 

I didn’t say anything at all when I swam back in. I didn’t plan on talking a whole bunch. I’m pretty sure the little mer didn’t either. I’m only here to make sure he has everything he needs to survive, that nothing won’t try to eat him either.  

———Nico———

This was the same cave I was in not so long ago. Just a different part. It seemed more like an open cage where I was at right now. A platform that held a few tiny fish that somehow survived here, some snails, there were some small anemones, rocks, a seaweed patch. I also found some small caves I could fit into hidden behind some of the seaweed, but I didn’t really want to stay there. It really felt like a prison if I were being honest. Like he’s had other mers there before. The worst part was that he already knows about all the hiding spots, so if he were mad at me he knows exactly where to look for me. That’s always great to know. So, there was no possible way for me to get out. It would take me too long just to swim out of the cave, and even if I did, he could just track me down. 

I’ve already accepted my fate. I was going die here. Whether I liked it or not. My best bet was to just avoid him as much as possible, which I think I’ve done pretty well so far for it only being a couple hours. What can I say? I was terrified of dying, and that guy is pure death to me. I feel like he’ll just rip me up into pieces at any point, and that’s what really gets me. 

So here I was, hiding underneath a rock where he could very easily take it off. I’m surprised he hasn’t already. I’ve found that the place I was in wasn’t all that bad. It was comfortable, easy for me to move around. Not too bad, but I would really like to go home. I miss it already. I just want to go back to my little home inside the coral and sleep peacefully on the soft sand. What would my parents do when they realize anyways? No one would want to look for me. It was sad actually. What was I even supposed to here? Just wait to be eaten? I’m pretty sure that’s what was going to happen anyways. 

I recently found out that the big mers tail was a pretty dark blue color, which explains why he was so big in the first place. Most mers with a blue tail grow to be pretty big, but I’ve never seen one his height before. I think I’ve only really seen one where I was a little bigger than their fist, but this is an entire different thing. I mean, who wouldn’t be when someone fifty times your size was supposed to “take care of you?” How was that even possible? 

I crawled out of my little hiding spot, picking up the colored rock I had found earlier and continued to fidget with it. Everything would be fine… right? He’d let me go eventually. I wound’t be eaten, and then I can forget all of this ever happened. Oh who am I kidding? I was unlucky, nothing would ever work out for me. It always takes a turn for the worst. I sighed, too tired to even bother with going back into my hiding spot, and made myself comfortable in the sand. I just have to hope it’ll all work out in the end. 

—————— 

When I woke up, the giant mer was laying on his stomach, head resting on his arms as he stared out into the deep ocean. I tried not making a single sound as I pushed myself up, glancing over at my tail and seeing that it was still torn up. So it really wasn’t a dream. Or nightmare I should say. 

I held a hand over my mouth as I made my way to underneath that rock, but something caught his attention to make him look over where I was. He glared at me, watching me go still and hold my breath. He rolled his eyes before swimming closer to me, the fast and effortless movement making me dizzy as his face took up most of my vision. Please don’t eat me. Please don’t eat me. Please don’t- 

“Are you hungry yet?” I shook my head, not wanting to make him do extra work just to keep me alive. There’s also the fact that he might just want to to eat more so I taste better. Well, no thank you. I’d rather die of hunger than die while inside his mouth. The thought made me slightly gag, earning a confused look from the mer. 

He let out a sigh before swimming off, fast water hitting me in the face from his careless movement. Yeah… I did not feel good. Neither did that fact that I didn’t even know his name yet. I feel like I should know the name of my future killer. Wait- don’t think like that. 

The mer came back with something in his hands, dropping a few small fish in a pile in front of me. I bit the inside of my cheek, hard. I can’t tell him that I don’t eat fish. Then that’d start a new problem, which I can’t really afford considering the situation I was in. Then, he did something I completely unexpected. He propped his head up with his hand, elbow on the platform he had me on, and watched me with an annoyed look on his face, “I’m staying here until you eat. And I know you’d probably prefer me as far away from you as possible, little mer.” He smirked. 

He wasn’t wrong. 

What do I do? I was hungry, and I suddenly regret not eating that plate my mom made me the day before. I don’t even remember the last time I ate. Great. I don’t want to eat fish I though! But I have to unless I’m really about to just stay this close to someone who could swallow me whole without even trying- STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT! 

I pushed myself towards the little place under the rock where I currently call home, only to be stopped by a fleshy surface in front of me. I backed away so fast I’m surprised I didn’t trip over my hands. I heard a quiet chuckle above me, like he was having a good time. 

“Just eat. It’s not poisoned or anything.” I couldn’t help but catch the slight tone change. Like he actually sort of cared about me? I don’t know how to describe it, but it didn’t stop my heart from beating rapidly and my body start malfunctioning (Like literally I couldn’t move even if I wanted to it was too busy trembling so much) 

I scooted closer to the fish, a shaky hand holding one that was about the size of my entire arm. If it’s the only way to get him to leave me alone… I took a small bite, hating how the fish didn’t even taste bad, it’s just I don’t like seeing dead fish. I dropped the fish back into the pile, forcing myself the crane my neck up at the mer, who, for a split second, had a sympathetic look on his face before he just fixed his position. I did what he asked me to… could he please just leave me alone? 

Instead, he waited. I don’t know how much time had passed, but this guy is extremely patient. Doesn’t he have better things to do? Like… well I have no idea what he does but it’s obviously not waiting on some insignificant mer to eat something. I didn’t eat another bite, and I guess that’s when it clicked in his head. 

“You… don’t eat fish, do you.” He sighed, closing his eyes. At least I didn’t have to tell him. I didn’t do anything but hide my torn-up tail and fidget with my hands while staring at the sand. 

“What do you eat then?” I couldn’t answer his question. And I guess he realized that too because he just started listing off things he could find until I finally nodded my head. I was scared if I didn’t at least answer him like that he’d do something to me. So then he left, ordered me not to leave (Which I couldn’t do anyways but I still listened because I was scared of what he’d do if did end up leaving) I quickly glided over to my little makeshift home under the rock and stayed there, shaking. What would I have done if he didn’t realize that? What would happen if he wasn’t willing to wait? Would he just have eaten me there and then? I curled in on myself, mindful of the many loose pieces of thin fin on my tail. 

He came back a couple minutes later, dropping some kelp and taking his same position again, making sure I actually ate. It was uncomfortable, but I knew if I didn’t he’d just force me to one way or another. Threaten me. Yeah, I’m okay. No thank you. Instead, I ate what I could in case I wouldn’t get a chance like this again and watched as he just grabbed the rest and placed it somewhere. I hate everything about this. 

———Callum———

I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t eat fish. He’s practically on himself if he were just a tiny bit smaller… It’s sad to think about really. It wasn’t even that hard to gather any of the kelp, so I don’t know why he forced himself the first time. He could have at least told me. I didn’t mind going out. Then again, I didn’t exactly make that clear to him either. 

I left him alone like I had promised, watching him hide in the seaweed, but it was easy to spot him in the green with that bright purple tail of his. I found it to be nice really. It wasn’t really a hazard to me like other mers probably find it to be, but it’s really a nice color. I don’t think he thinks that though. 

Meanwhile, I tried to figure out just what I could do in the meantime. Usually I just go out and explore, but I don’t think I can just leave the little mer all alone for so long. Something might actually come, then I’d have to deal with that guilt. I don’t think taking him with me is an option, because I’m pretty sure he’s terrified of me and the last thing he would want to do is be around me. I sighed, looking back out in the ocean, feeling my eyes become heavy. This wasn’t so bad. Maybe I should actually learn his name. 

————————

Wowwww. Y’know, rereading this chapter, I don’t think I like it, but oh well. Yes, I know Callum is just sarcastic and hard to get used to, but he’ll warm up to Nico. And yes, he’s just taking care of Nico because he feels bad for not being able to help out in time.

Hope you guys liked it (I kind of didn’t) and I hope I can get you some drawings of these two soon! (I love them sm aghhhh) Thanks for reading!

[ask-will-and-nico]

"Wh... What?" Nico curled up in bed. "Yeah, three times in a row. He's running again this year, totally unopposed." Nico smiled softly. "That's cute. I didn't know you could do that." Will sighed. "Heh, yeah. There's a lot of stories like that, usually in the smaller towns. Cats, dogs, even a horse." Nico laughed just a tiny bit, and it made Will incredibly happy. "...Do you feel better now?" He asked. Nico sighed. "... Yeah. Thanks." Will smiled to himself. "... Is there anything you need?"

“Could you…maybe, just talk to me?” Nico asked softly. His voice was so quiet and unsure, Will was just seconds away from driving over there himself. “I would be happy to,” Will said. “How about I call you on your phone so Cecil can have his back, and then I’ll talk to you as long as you want,” Will promised. “I’ll call your number right away, yeah?” He waited for Nico to agree before ending the call with Cecil’s number. For one long moment, Nico didn’t answer, and when he finally did Will felt like he could let out a breath. “Hi,” Nico whispered. Will smiled and felt himself relax a little bit more. “Hi,” Will responded back. “Is there something you want me to talk about? Or I can just talk in general,” Will offered. “Or, if you don’t want to think or really listen, I can read to you too. Sometimes it helps me to just hear someone else’s voice without having to worry about responding.”

[riddlerosehearts]

🐍(signing with a snake for convenience) thank you for the good luck wishes, i finished the exam and it went alright! i saw your earlier post, how are you feeling right now? i myself have a cat too and can only imagine how devastated i would feel if the same thing happened to me, i'm really sorry you're going through this and hope you're still taking care of yourself. if it helps as a distraction, how would you imagine nico (& leo if you wish!) as new students at NRC?

signing with the 🐍 emoji reminds me of jamil, which imo is good because i love jamil haha. so hopefully you like him too. glad your exam went well! i'm feeling a little better now than i was earlier, but still not great, honestly. my family took that cat in as a stray who we have evidence to believe had been abandoned, and we'd given her a matching name with our other cat--our first cat is named daisy, and the one who died was named lily. we knew she'd have to be put down sooner or later but everybody felt so sure that it wouldn't be this soon. i sincerely hope your cat lives a long, healthy life.

as for your question: hmm, well, i'm terrible at explaining my thoughts sometimes. let's see if i can come up with something that makes sense LOL. i'm going to imagine an AU where rather than being isekai'd like yuu, nico is just a character from the twst universe.

so the way i see nico in the current riordanverse canon is that he's made a lot of progress toward healing from his trauma and trying to be happier and more outgoing, like he was when we were first introduced to him in titan's curse. he cares about others and wants to be able to have friends. but he still has a lot of anxiety about putting himself out there, and he still barely understands modern technology (which, i'm unsure how that'd be explained in this scenario, but it's a magic world, anything could've happened. maybe he's a fae or half-fae, or maybe he was stuck in some sort of magical stasis for decades like in PJO.) and has this lingering fear that he doesn't fit in with most people. i also see him as a natural extrovert who mostly became withdrawn as a trauma response.

so i guess if we took nico with his canon personality/development and made him a character in the twst universe, then he'd be incredibly nervous about going to NRC and not knowing how people there will react to him, but he'd also be willing to try his best. and if he got placed into ignihyde, then he'd soon end up feeling frustrated because, okay, sure, he can see why the dark mirror looked at his soul and thought he should be put into this gloomy, lifeless dorm full of quiet serious people who keep to themselves. not too long ago he might've thought that was perfect! but now because most ignihyde students keep to themselves or to their own groups while also hardly leaving their rooms, it makes for a very lonely atmosphere when nico no longer wants to be alone all the time. and when he does try to speak to his dormmates he doesn't really get most of what they try to talk about because they're engineers and tech nerds and he... very much isn't. he also doesn't understand how to operate most of the technology the dorm is filled with and runs on.

i can imagine him wanting to transfer dorms but being terrified of not fitting in any better anywhere else, until he ends up talking with yuu during alchemy class and finding out that they live in a dorm that's haunted by ghosts and otherwise only has a population of two. nico and yuu could relate to each other in a sense because even though yuu has ace and deuce as friends, they still feel lost and out of place in this world. and they think it's pretty cool that nico can control and summon ghosts. they sort of joke that it'd be a lot easier to keep the ghosts in line if they had his magic, and he's like. well what if i moved into your dorm and helped you out. which crowley decides to allow and nico is a lot happier there because even though ramshackle is way smaller than ignihyde, it's also less lonely. he can talk to the ghosts and to yuu and grim. and as he gets more used to being there and a little less afraid of opening up, he could make friends with some of his other classmates. maybe even with some of his old dormmates. if all the canon NRC students are also around in this, then i'm sure he and the shroud brothers could find something to talk about given nico's interest in mythomagic.

nico's development in the later books is also heavily influenced by will, so if we had will in this AU then that might change things a bit. i'm very indecisive just in general and also i don't get will nearly as well as a friend of mine does, so it's possible that he could get accepted into RSA which would separate him from nico, or that he could get into NRC but definitely in a different dorm because he doesn't fit ignihyde at all (will have to ask my friend her opinion on this, actually). in the latter case i think nico would especially look forward to the classes they share, but would vent to will about still not fitting in and would wish that he could transfer dorms to be with him. but crowley would discourage him from trying to transfer because of how difficult the process is and will would encourage him to put himself out there more and try harder to make friends, which could lead to his conversation with yuu and his transfer to ramshackle (it being a different case since it's not, like, an official dorm anymore and nico's magic is well-suited to crowley's own needs). leo or other characters being there at the same time might change things slightly too.

but yeah, either way, i think he'd love chilling with the ghosts in ramshackle and with his canon development where he's starting to become more open and less brooding, he could end up really enjoying being at NRC even if he still struggles sometimes! if we were talking about a version of nico who was still 100% convinced that he could never fit in with anyone and that he needed to be alone all the time, i guess he'd probably just stay in ignihyde and cause yuu a lot of confusion by summoning ghosts from ramshackle into his room to give himself someone to talk to. if he was from the PJO universe and got isekai'd into the twst world then i don't think nico would adjust well to that at all. i have a feeling that as he is right now in canon, he'd consider going to school in some other world a complete waste of time in the first place and would tear twisted wonderland apart trying to find a way home if that happened.

i am going to stop here though because i rambled about this way more than i did before though LOL. i hope this is the kind of answer you were looking for and that it doesn't all seem like. completely OOC and that what i'm trying to say makes sense. i love sharing my opinions but i'm also not very confident in them sometimes. i could try to come up with something for leo if you wanted, but i'd also love to know if you have any thoughts on how he'd be as an NRC student!

[byima]

California Dreaming pt 3

Shout out to Tim Cook, the most boring commencement speaker like, ever. You’ve inspired PJO fanfiction. I am sharing this in smaller portions because I’m incapable of working on large text documents. Part 4 coming soon. Read full story on AO3

3 weeks later:

“…it is an honor to welcome you all to New Rome University's 125th commencement ceremony…”

Annabeth inhaled, steeling herself, taking it all in, then she exhaled in a loud breath. The morning was too bright, her brow pinched as she squinted at her surroundings, and the five-story arena they’re all crowded into seemed to gleam more than usual. It was enough to make her head ache. 

She was in a Coliseum for gods’ sake. Because of course the arena in New Rome was modeled after the famous structure. The Greek in her wanted to wince at the on-the-nose mimicry. The architect in her was impressed by the modern adaptation and the homage to classic details. She had already committed to being on her best behavior, but the whole morning was shaping up to be a bit much. Nonetheless, neutral expression was her goal, as the Chancellor gave his welcoming speech.

“You all join thousands of scholars, authors, scientists, leaders, innovators, and thinkers in a centuries old tradition…”

It’s just… it wasn’t supposed to be this hot in the bay. But the sun was strong today, so much so that Annabeth found herself wishing she'd had Sally’s foresight and donned a wide brimmed hat like the ones her boyfriend’s mom and sister were sporting. Instead she sat in the cement stands using two programs as a visor, every now and then checking the status of the red flush blooming on Paul’s forehead and cheeks. And the beads of moisture, gathering incrementally at his temples.

“This is a landmark moment, the culmination of a lifetime of hard work and dedication…”

They’d arrived at the stadium early too, because Sally wanted good seats. The procession of graduates didn’t emerge for another hour and a half after they had settled in the stands. Her friends were spread throughout; Grover, Charles, Silena, Rachel and other Greeks that had made it sitting in a section to her left, Hazel, Nico, Piper, and Jason somewhere high up, to her right.

It was fine. They were here for Percy. And Frank. To celebrate.

That's what she told herself as she unstuck her dress from her sweaty thighs.

“And to all of our graduates, I encourage you to look into the stands. Find your family, your friends, your loved ones. The people that encouraged you, supported you, who danced and shouted and cried with you. Today we celebrate them, too…”

He owes me something real good, she thought to herself, for putting up with all the pomp and circumstance that’s coming with his graduation from this school. Mind on all the ways Percy was gonna make it up to her, she fanned herself with a program and settled back for the celebratory display.

It wasn't all punishing rays and sticky thighs though; the ceremony was touching in moments, electrifying in others. Touching when the procession of graduating students had poured onto the field; several students had broken formation to meet family members hanging at the edge of the stands for a brief embrace. Percy had searched them out in the crowd, spotted them, then blown dramatic kisses in their direction, finishing off with a two-handed "rock on" salute. Electrifying when the announcer prompted each cohort to give a battle cry. That sound, all the voices of graduates bellowing their affiliation, whether they had fought in the legion or had family that fought, accompanied by the reverberating tones of the Roman cornu, struck a note, something she felt in her chest even when the echo had subsided.

But the waiting, and the speakers, some engaging, others that should have never been passed the mic, had Annabeth digging her phone out of her crossbody bag so she and Estelle could occupy themselves.

And then, the final straw; the main speaker took the stage, a big Silicon Valley tech guy and a Vulcan legacy, and, gods above, Annabeth couldn't take it. She fell asleep, the drowsy heat was her blanket, hands folded in her lap and chin tucked into her chest.

After what felt like half a second of shut eye, Annabeth was jarred awake by loud, metallic clangs. Slightly startled, she looked behind her to see a girl, probably in her teens, apologizing as she picked up the water bottle she had dropped. Rubbing her nose tiredly, Annabeth looked to her right, there was Sally, leaning against Paul with her hand on his thigh, as they listened to the speech like the smug, functional adults they were.

Then she looked down, just as Estelle's gaze popped up, green eyes finding her gray ones under the brim of her hat, momentarily pausing her digital fruit popping to gleefully announce, "I saw you sleeping!"

"Yeah," Annabeth cleared her throat. She picked her hair up off of her clammy neck, shook it out, and set it back down. "Can I see my phone?" She searched for Percy's cap covered head as she asked. Bingo. Just as she thought. 

Estelle’s answering “of course” was very polite, but she was reluctant to hand the device over, peering up at Annabeth's face as if to double check if she was serious about her request. Annabeth retrieved the device, clicked out of the game and opened up her messaging app. glancing at the field every other second, then started typing.

A: Percy.

A: Percy.

A: Peeeeerrrrcccyyy.

A: Perseus Jackson.

A: Hey

A: Hi

A: What’s up?

A: Hello?

A: Buenos días.

She watched him jolt, shoulders shifting as he fumbled around for his vibrating phone. A couple seconds later...

P: You woke me up

A: I know. I could see your head drooping. I’m trying to save your neighbor from a drool stain on his gown.

P: Har har, nice one haven’t heard that before not.

P: Are you telling me you’ve managed to stay awake for this whole speech?

She took a moment to respond, she could lord this over him, falling asleep at his own graduation ceremony, but honesty is the best policy or whatever, and it’s actually hilarious how absolutely, horrifically, indubitably  boring  the selected speaker is.

A: No. I was knocked. The girl behind me dropped her hydroflask and woke me up.

P: This feels illegal.

P: I thought I was done sitting through lectures.

A: You’re almost there. You got this.

P: No. I’m not gonna survive this. 

A: Very dramatic.

P: Tell my family I love them.

A:  😒

P: And I’ll miss them.

P: We had a great run .

A:  😒😒😒😒😒

P: Maybe you could send a hot pic? 

P: One final act of kindness? 🥺

P: Make-a-wish style?

A: That’s your dying request?

P: Yup. 

P: Boobies maybe?

P: A pic I haven’t seen before?

She scrolled through her camera roll.

P: I was joking.

P: Sort of. Not really.

P: Please don’t do anything reckless.

She sent him a picture.

P: Holy shit.

P: I’m awake.

P: Have I told you I love you today?

Annabeth laughed, pushing her hair behind her ear before she brought her screen up to type her response.

"Sweetheart, I’d like to assume that you aren’t the reason Percy is openly texting during his commencement ceremony."

Annabeth’s head jerked up and to the side as she hastily locked her phone.

There wasn't a single adult that Annabeth adored as much as she did Sally Jackson-Blofis, but also maybe feared a little bit? It was the mother of her boyfriend (future mother-in-law?) thing. Sally loved her like one of her very own, but on the topics of misdemeanors, misbehavior and all the other ways she could be corrupting Sally's beloved firstborn child, Annabeth lost every bit of her nerve. Blame it on childhood trauma, and her desperation to avoid giving her loved ones a reason not to love her. She'll probably have children of her own and still be looking for Sally's approval.

Annabeth winced in Sally's direction. "Sorry."

Sally didn't appear to be truly bothered as she looked out into the field, "At least he's not sleeping anymore."

P: Why is he yelling now?

P: Does he think yelling will make this any easier to bear?!?!?!

P: Praise Olympus he's finishing I think.

P: So you're ignoring?

P: You woke me up, just to leave me hanging?

P: Cold hearted 😔

P: I won’t forget this

P: mark my words

P: you’ll rue this day

A: We've been busted.

A: Stop texting. Focus on commencing.

P: Busted how?

P: By who?

A: Your mom does not approve

P: Tell her I'd be passed out on the field if you hadn't texted me.

A: No. 

A: You tell her.

The bubble appeared, indicating that he was replying, then it vanished.

Annabeth got a notification of a group text, the group consisting of herself, Percy and Sally.

P: Mom I'd be passed out on the field if Annabeth hadn't texted me.

S: Get off of your phone now 😡

By the grace of the gods, the speaker finally wrapped up his monotonous ramblings. All that was left was the handing out of diplomas and the final address.

The rest of the ceremony passed in an energetic blur. There was a familial spirit in the stadium; people shouting and whistling and blowing horns and instruments to announce on no uncertain terms, 'yes, that's my loved one, I'm proud of them.' She felt it around her, in her. It made her holler for Frank, and whistle for Tobe and Simon, the other graduating seniors that lived in that little New Rome apartment that had been a second home to her. It made her stand up and jump with Sally when Percy's name was called. It made her scream louder and more joyously than she could recall ever screaming in her life.

And then it was done, and everybody was screaming again but also moving.

She turned to see Paul lifting Estelle onto his back as people seemingly began shifting around them at once, more or less in the same direction.

"The parking lot situation is going to be a nightmare," said Paul, worriedly observing the churning crowds.

"No, I can't imagine this small town gets this many people more than once a year." Sally picked up stray programs and their bag of snacks. "If we hurry, we can get out of the parking lot before there's too much of a bottle neck."

They were on the move.

"Can I use the restroom?" This was from Estelle.

Paul and Sally exchanged a look. "Oh sweetie. Is it bad? Do you have to go right now?"

"No, only a little."

"Do you think you can hold it?"

Estelle nodded confidently, one arm tightened around Paul’s neck while the other adjusted the lopsided hat on her head.

"Okay. That's what's gonna have to happen, because I doubt the bathroom lines are going to be bearable." Sally increased her pace, leading them out of the stands. "We just need to grab Percy, we'll meet everyone at the restaurant, Estelle can use the restroom there, and... yeah." She looked back to see everyone's expressions. "Does that sound like a plan?"

Annabeth gave her own confident nod. “I’ll go find him,” she said. 

The group split, Paul, Sally and Estelle making a break for the parking lot, and Annabeth doubling back towards one of the field entries/exits, hunting down Percy's tall form in the outpouring of students shrouded in purple.

Annabeth spotted him, doing one of those handshake hugs with someone she didn’t know, nodding and laughing as they were carried with the flood exiting the tunnels.

She hadn’t even meant to, but she found herself practically running towards him, weaving through a sea of purple figures until she was right there in front of him, throwing her arms around his neck as he picked her up to wrap her in a bear of an embrace. 

“Oh man,” he was chuckling at her enthusiastic display. “I knew you’d find me irresistible with a bachelor's degree.”

Laughter bubbled from her when he started spinning with her in his arms, and she wrapped her legs around his hips to avoid hitting someone nearby with a flying limb.

He stumbled to a stop and, faces close, they both started speaking at the same time.

“Well I’m glad that’s over with-”

“I’m so proud of you-”

There was a steady thump of drums and harmonic cries of horns and pipes in the background: a celebratory soundtrack. Percy’s cap got dislodged when Annabeth sunk her hand into the hair at the back of his head to hold him in place and plant an enthusiastic kiss on his mouth.

He pulled back slightly after a moment thusly engaged. “You’re gonna make everyone jealous," he breathed with a smile. "Or at least uncomfortable.”

“Who cares?” She brought their faces back together and stroked her mouth over his. He responded immediately, parting her lips with his own and sliding his tongue into her mouth because honestly it was go big or go home and he’d decided that, today, he was entitled to a bit of a display. She had been snacking on oranges throughout the ceremony, not that he knew that until now, when he tasted the tangy story of it in the corners and surfaces of her mouth. He hiked her higher up with his hand on her thigh, her sandal clattered to the cement, and the loss of her shoe was enough to bring them back to reality.

They pulled apart, breathing loud and grinning like mad. Annabeth nodded to her shoe on the ground. Percy shrugged. She stuck her tongue out at him and he darted forward to lick the tip of her nose. There was that invisible string, connecting them, and they were grinning again, they couldn’t look away, they couldn’t help themselves.

She unwrapped one leg from his hips and reached for her shoe with her toes, finally finding the displaced sandal when she broke their connection and dragged her attention from his face to search the floor around them. Once she was properly shoe’d, he lowered her to the cement, adjusting her dress to fall smoothly at her thighs.

"Where’s everyone?" He trailed his hands down her arms and took her hands in his.

"Trying to get out of the parking lot before it becomes unbearable.” She fixed his cap back into place. They were jostled by a passing trio, and Annabeth got immediately shoulder checked by another hustling grad. “Come on," she tugged him forward. "I’m supposed to take you in that direction."

"Lead the way."

They set off, falling into step with each other, his arm wrapped around her waist and hers wrapped around his.

"Jackson! Annabeth!" They saw Frank, Hazel and Nico making a determined beeline in their direction.

The two groups fought their way to each other.

“I’m proud of you Percy,” Hazel fit herself to Percy’s open side for a brief hug. All of them were getting jostled, it seemed forward was the way to move.

“I guess they let anyone graduate these days.”

“Nico!”

Annabeth and Frank embraced.

“Hey guys,” Annabeth reluctantly pulled away from Frank. “Look, we've gotta hurry. Sally and them are pulling out of the parking lot.” She and Percy shared a nod. “And we shouldn’t keep them waiting. But we’ll see you at the restaurant!”

“At the place in Berkeley?”

“Yup! And congrats Frank! See ya there!” She called as they hurried off.

They moved away from the stadium now and headed into one of the main parking lots.

“You see them?” Percy asked.

“No… yes! There they are. White Toyota.”

“Yeah, I see ‘em.”

They jogged across the lot and jaywalked to reach the spot where Paul had pulled over.

Estelle was the first to comment as soon as the door popped open. “I saw you on the grass!” 

“I saw you in the stands,” Percy shot back as he and Annabeth slid into the rental vehicle.

“Congrats Percy. This is a big moment.” From Paul.

Sally was quiet, just looking at him through the rear view mirror with full eyes and a small smile.

“Aw Ma-” This only seemed to escalate things, Sally tearing for real as the car started moving.

“I am so–” she paused, gathering herself. “So proud of you sweetheart. That's all.” 

“Thanks,” he leaned forward and kissed her cheek over the back of her seat. “But also please don’t make a big deal about it. This celebration is for you too.”

She made a face like she was really attempting the no-tears thing and touched his hand where it rested on her seat. 

“You’ve grown up so much-”

“Aww ma please-”

“No Percy, stop,” she moved his hand from where it was inching to cover her mouth. “Don’t you put that grimy hand on my mouth- Let me say this.”

He leaned his forehead against the back of her seat.

“All of us know how hard you have worked. I’m not just talking about grades. Both of you.” Annabeth, who had just been watching their exchange, sat up straighter when she was addressed. “You two and all your friends have worked through and survived more than most of the world population will ever survive in their lifetimes and you’re barely above drinking age!” She located some restaurant napkins in the glove compartment before refocusing on Percy, who looked apprehensive at best. 

Cars in front of them honked as drivers struggled with the roundabouts and they weren’t so far from the stadium that they couldn’t hear the faint sound of a voice on the loudspeaker.

“You’re my son-” 

“I'm your daughter!” Estelle chirped from her booster seat, tired of being ignored.

“Yes you are, baby. My rockstar princess.” Sally smiled at the girl.

“You,” she said with emphasis, attention back on Percy, she was not going to let him off the hook, “what feels like just a second ago, were the little boy who asked for blue candy from the shop and tried so hard to carry the weight of the world on his little shoulders.”

Percy turned his head, still pressed to the back of the seat in front of him, and made an exasperated face at Annabeth who made a tight lipped, ‘don't be rude’ expression right back.

“And even though,” all of them rocked as Paul hit a speed bump with a little too much force, “even though you’ve grown a lot bigger and stronger since then, I still see you carrying so much burden and it hurts my heart, it always will.” He shifted up at this, resting his chin on the shoulder of her seat while his hand sought hers out to grab onto.

“But you just did a really big thing for yourself. For  you  .” She tightened her hand around his for emphasis. “And I know you say you did it for me or Annabeth or Estelle, but I know you did this for you. And  that , you choosing yourself, makes me so damn proud.” 

“Ma…”

“My little boy. You are so extraordinary.” She squeezed his hand again. “But you’re also my little boy.”

She looked past Percy to Annabeth. “Thank you for keeping him out of trouble. For taking care of him.”

At this point, Annabeth was emotional too, hugging herself as she blinked away tears. “We take care of each other.”

“I know. He’s a caseload though. You don’t have to lie, I had him for 18 years.”

“I love you Ma. You didn’t have to say all of that.” 

“I know, I just,” she waved a dismissive hand in the air, trying to compose herself. “Big day! Big weekend.” Her hand lowered to impatiently swipe the tears off of her cheek.

Estelle, who had been watching with wide eyes, felt it was time again to intervene. “Don’t cry. It's okay,” her little hand patted Annabeth’s right arm, comforting her in the best way she could. She looked at her mom. “Don't cry mommy. It's okay.”

Paul cleared his throat. “These are good tears Stelle-belle. Happy tears.”

“Okay,” she sat back in her seat, hands under her thighs, only half believing her dad.

Percy turned to his sister and tickled her sides. “You better believe I’m happy. No more school? And I get to come back to New York?” She screeched and pushed his hands away.

“You’re gonna come back with us?” 

He tugged on one of her long, brown curls. “Well, I’m not flying back with you guys. But in about a month, Annabeth and I are moving back to New York.”

“You’re gonna have your room back?”

“No, we’re gonna have our own place.”

“You’ll see us all the time,” Annabeth added.

Estelle gave Percy a long look.

“So are you getting married?”

Paul started chuckling. Annabeth opened her mouth but no noise came out. 

Percy, the smug, sweet bastard, cut his eyes over to his girlfriend and grinned, “Yeah, eventually.”

“My teacher is moving to Texas with his girlfriend and they’re getting married.”

“Well Annabeth and I are gonna live in sin for a bit–”

“Percy! If you don’t… ” Sally, who was giving Paul directions, paused to scold him.

“What’s that?” Estelle sensed a forbidden topic in the air and was on its trail like a bloodhound.

“That means we’re gonna get a dog,” Annabeth succinctly ended the conversation. The look she sent Percy’s way now said, ‘you can shut up.”

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

MC comforting Vinca while she is crying

Pairing with: Can we write mc getting terribly injured and almost dying for vinca? and then emotional vinca❤️

Warning: Mentions of blood.

...

Part 1

Written by @cute-ogre

A warm hand squeezes hers and let it go.

Nico breathes in heavily, inhaling the cold air, the familiar smell of antiseptic, bleach and pine telling her immediately exactly where she was.

The bleary vision soon became more focused and she was able to see the nurse standing by her bedside, checking her vitals and taking fast notes. He smiled when he noticed his patient was awake, making a nervous one-sided chat while waiting for the doctor responsible for her, a cautious looking woman that calmly explained her general state and left her alone after a long check up, noticing her tired state.

She closes her eyes, sighing, exhausted. Her body was weirdly numb and she couldn't quite move yet. Her thoughts  were difficult to grasp, like they were floating in a tick fog, bouncing slowly back into her mind one by one.

Her house was broken in, she was alone. There were shouts, hers, and growls from the way-smarter-than-it- should-be demon.

(Because, yeah, those exist.)

Cold hands trying to get the locket out of hers. The small locket with, apparently, Vinca's soul in it. Vinca couldn't read her mind and apparently that means creepy, stabby demon time.

Light catching in the metal as a pocket knife was pulled, made a shallow, bloody cut in the left side of her head and then sunk into her abdomen.

A piercing scream as she killed it, a mysterious light shooting from her wound like lightning, disintegrating the demon on the spot. The demon needed her blood for something, she thinks, but couldn't remember why or what.

Bloodied hands trying to make a call with no success.

Bandaging the wound with shaky hands, trying to keep the knife firmly in place.

A seven-minutes-long, careful, anxious walk until Vinca's house. Her hands pressing the wound, trying to keep the knife there without damaging her body even more.

Constantly analyzing her own state while looking for new attackers in the dark streets.

(The injury... below the belly button, lateral, probably non-lethal if treated soon by the looks of it. Elevated breath and heart rate with dizziness, so moderate blood loss, maybe?)

Knocking on the taller woman's door frantically, a door opening, wide blue eyes staring at her in shock.

And then everything was blurry.

The sound of the door opening brought Nico's attention back to the present.

"I can't believe she was stabbed! She will have such a cool scar!"

Trudy's voice rings loud and excited, and Vinca's answer is barely a hiss.

"If you don't shut up and back off, I will make sure you'll get one too."

"Really? That would be so badass!"

There's some commotion, a yelp accompanied by hushed whispered yell and then silence.

Someone clears their throat.

"We will go get some clean clothes for her, Laz is already there taking care of her mom. We'll be back soon." Yvette's voice sounds gentle and low, and was received with a low grunt of agreement and a closed door.

Nico's eyes open again, vision bleary for a second before being filled with the familiar big, crazed,blue eyes and messy blonde hair. The Pride assassin's face close enough that she was able to see the small freckles that adorned her -weirdly- make-up free face.

"H-Hi?"

Vinca just stares intensely at her in silence for a awkwardly long time before smirking, poking the small women's cheek.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to wake up! Feeling better, Julius Caesar?"

The dark haired girl blinks, nodding distractedly, her eyes scanning the white hospital room. When she speaks, her voice sounds hoarse and weak.

"Thank you for bringing me here, and I'm sorry, I probably spilled blood all over your nice car."

Vinca's smile appears to waver for a second before she let out a snort, straightening up. "Yeah, your stabbed ass made quite a mess, had to drag you out of the car like a dead corpse. Hope you know that you will be the one cleaning it."

"Hey! It's not my fault I was stabbed!"

"Yes it is, you are the easiest target I have ever seen, you look like the type of person that tries to hold on to the water when you slip on the shower." The blonde shots her a teasing look, seeing the small woman roll her eyes in annoyance, a weak smile on her lips.

"Oh, you can kiss my ass!"

"What ass? You have none, you are flat like the surface of the earth."

She is using humor to cope, like she always does when she feels strong emotions.

Brown eyes stare at Vinca, seeing the model stands up with a tense posture and walk to a table with a jar of water nearby.

"Please tell me you are joking and don't, in fact, believe that the earth is flat."

Like the unbearable brat she is, the blonde woman just shrugs, smirking a little bit before resuming her task, and Nico notices the slight shake of her hands as she pours the water in a plastic cup.

"It may be."

"The- the earth isn't flat."

Nodding slowly, she sits on the bed again, blue eyes twinkling and a soft smile on her lips.

"I know, and neither are you, hotshot." She winks, offering the cup of water, earning a laugh from the bike mechanic. "You should drink it, you lost a disgusting amount of blood."

Nico sighs, before slowly trying to seat up with the taller woman's help.

"Did I pass out? I don't remember anything after knocking on your door."

Smile gone, the tallest Wren sister shakes her head seriously.

"You didn't, but you were definitely confused."

"Oh."

There is a heavy pause with Vinca opening and closing her mouth before clenching her jaw and letting out a  annoyed huff.

"I was really... " She waves her hand in the air and grimaces, like the next words are causing her physical pain "...worried about you, I think."

"Aww, you think?"

It takes all of her strength of will, but Nico manages to hold back a smug smirk, looking up to see the blonde scratch uncomfortably one of  her slightly reddened cheeks.

"I thought you hated me when we first met. Look at us now, progress!"

She bites her lip, holding back a smile, gives the Chinese woman a side-eyed look and sniffs.

"I did. But eh, you grew on me, like a fungus."

I care a lot about you too

Humming, the bike mechanic takes a sip of water, furrowing her brow when she notice the way the mind-reader keeps looking fixedly at her own hands, opening and closing them repeatedly.

"...Vinca? Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

The huge bags under her eyes doesn't exactly scream "fine" to Nico, but she decides to finish her water before asking again.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm peachy, why wouldn't I be?" She snatches the empty cup of water, throwing it into the garbage can without even looking at it.

"It's... It's about the locket? Something happened to it?"

"The locket it's fine." The answer is suddenly tense and Nico looks at her dubiously.

"Are you sure? It seemed impor-"

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care about the fucking locket."

She grits, crossing her arms in annoyance, voice sounding snappy, but she doesn't meet her eyes when she keeps talking.

"And you are a moron. I can't believe you got yourself stabbed for that stupid thing."

The Chinese woman lets out a incredulous laugh, ignoring the way her head hurt a little when she did.

"A locked with you soul in it,detail you forgot to mention by the way! And you told me to take care of it!"

"I said 'Take care of it', not 'get killed protecting it' you dumbass!"

"Yeah, but I didn't die."

"You almost did!" There's a second of silence after the explosion, and when Vinca lifts her eyes they are shining with unshed tears and more vulnerable than Nico has ever seen them.

"It- it was so much blood and I thought that- I thought that you... and for a stupid locket!" Her breath is uneven, her hands moving in the air, wildly, and her eyes start darting to everything in the room besides the injured woman. "I don't care about my fucking soul! I could kick some old demon ass until they turned ash and get the locket back if it was stolen, but what would I do if I lost you?"

"Vinca..."

The dark haired woman stares at her in stunned silence, her body moving forward instinctively to touch her arm when she is hit by a sharp stab of pain, wincing.

The blonde rushes forward grabbing her shoulders and looking at her with wild eyes. A gentle pressure forcing the small woman to sit back.

"Don't worry, I'm fine."

"No. You are hurt."

It's a statement, a statement said with so much anguish that Nico doesn't even know what to do with it.

Long fingers touch delicately the bandage in her head and the sad blue eyes meet hers before learning in to press a soft kiss to her covered forehead earning a perplexed wide eyed stare.

"I'm sorry, you got hurt and I wasn't there to protect your nerd ass."

"Hey..."

The smaller woman mutters, hands cupping Vinca's face, wiping a tear and starting a gentle caress, drawing a shiver out of the woman.

"I'm fine, you are here right now to deck any demon for me, aren't you?"

Vinca smiles weakly and sniffs. "Bitch, you can bet I'm."

"Good. Now come here."

She moves carefully to the side, making a bigger space in the bed. To her surprise the taller woman immediately moves to sit by her side, hiding her face in her neck, inhaling the smell of strawberry shampoo coming from the soft  dark hair and muttering:

"....about the locket."

"What?"

Nico feels a warm tear hit her skin.

"I said I'm-"

She huffs annoyed, grabbing a fistful of the brunette hospital gown.

"I'm sorry about the locket. I gave it to you because I thought that you deserved some part of me that wasn't tainted."

Nico forces herself to be silent, unsure of how to answer and her hands lift to caress soft wild hair earning a sigh from the blonde.

I will talk to her about it later

"I shouldn't have- I put you in danger and I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I'm fine. Let's just... forget about it for a while hm?  But be aware that you will explain how did your soul ended up in a locked in details after I'm out of this hospital."

Nico jabs a accusatory finger, poking at the pride assassin's ribs.

"Whatever you say, girl boss."

Vinca chuckles, nodding and slowly raising her head and looking at the smaller woman with something in her eyes that the bike mechanic couldn't quite place.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

She hesitates for a moment, calculating, before speaking quietly.

"I... I'm just so glad that you are okay."

And something about the way blue eyes never leave brown tells Nico that that's not really what she was going to say at all.

"Me too."

Nico nods, smiling softly at her and seeing the Pride assassin blush and narrow her eyes.

"But if you tell anyone that I cried I'm gonna kick your tiny ass so hard that  you're gonna fly off the planet earth and become a satellite, are we clear?"

"Would you really hurt an injured woman?"

The brown haired girl clutches her chest dramatically, earning a cheeky grin from the blond.

"Have you met me?"

"... Fair point."

[the-ghost-king]

Interestingly enough the fandom isn't always rational with their criticism. Take Percy and Rachel for instance. A perfectly healthy cute and functional relationship dynamic, but people really hated it because it got in the way of Percy/Annabeth.

I think it can also come down to the fact that not all situations are exactly equal if that makes sense. If you have a character dynamic in couple A, that often playfully bully of fight with eachother that's a different dynamic than relationship B, where one person has trauma resulting from bullying and the other parter behaves in roughly the same way as couple A do. In that case the behavior may be seen as inappropriate. Not that this example has anything to do with the ships at hand, but I think a long form meta examining the different paralleling issues from both relationships and their validity would be easier.

Also I haven't seen anything about about Nico/Will being called toxic. Yikes, what are people saying exactly, because I don't doubt a lot of people might be projecting unconcious bias.

Oh absolutely, I may seem young but I remember the Rachel vs Annabeth ship wars all too well... I do not want to go back 😅

The rest is under a read more though, I got a little carried away talking! Also this isn't my best post on the issue by far so please feel free to check out the tags I mention later on!

(AN: I use nblm alongside mlm in this post because some nblm individuals will consider their attraction to men as gay, or queer, while others will not and those individuals are often closely connected to mlm experiences and they also deserve to talk about their thoughts and feelings if they wish. I am aware nonbinary people are not a monolith and not all nonbinary people will categorize themselves or their attraction this way, it's up to nonbinary individuals reading this to determine where they fall on what)

As for Solangelo being toxic some of the conversations revolve around the ableist nature of the ship, this is definitely most obviously a dynamic in BoO, and it's a more than fair point about the ship I don't have anything negative to say there in the slightest!

(The above parallels with the idea that Will is introduced as a "healer character" for the "sad gay kid", which is a fair criticism as well but one that's often left rather one sided, because while that is true- if it's a way Nico likes being treated (watched closely for injuries and cared for) then it's not wrong, and in ToN Will is seen overstepping Nico's boundaries which causes a healthy argument about Will doing so and he stops, so if Nico doesn't tell Will "no" or some variation he's obviously not horribly uncomfortable with the situation, or from the way it would be interpreted alongside previous text, there's fair reason to think he likes it)

The thing with Solangelo I see often is "Nico is still processing trauma, and internalized homophobia and isn't ready for a relationship" which is a huge misunderstanding on how trauma and internalized homophobia work as a whole, because the experiences can be different for everyone. You can absolutely date someone while processing internalized homophobia, you may struggle with certain things but it is absolutely doable for some people. And trauma is such a varied thing, and it's not like he's solely relying on Will either, he is seeing Dionysus for therapy and getting the help he needs! Your life doesn't have to go on hold for therapy no matter how much trauma you are sorting through! (Not disclosing my medical history or anything but I have struggled with both things and my life didn't stop for me to deal with them, I made new friends, went on dates, etc- it is possible depending on the person so the very narrow view of "this is unhealthy" and "this is impossible" rubs me wrong when it's treated as fact over opinion, because it's an opinion).

There's also constant discussions about how fandom (in current) fetishizes both Nico and Will, which I, and other mlm and nblm have spoken our own thoughts on multiple times to be largely ignored by the biggest perpetrators of this "they're overly fetishized narrative". There's also fairly consistent discussion of how fandom treats Nico and reduces him to uwu small gay boy, which more often than not seems to mean "effeminate" rather than actually harmful stereotyping (yes queer men are allowed to be "girly" especially considering there is some canon text that could be interpreted with that meaning, if there wasn't a plausible way to determine canon that way I wouldn't care if people were going after others feminizing Nico a bit- but the issue is again, fact and feeling aren't the same and fandom seem to conflate the two rather often).

(Some of that ties into nonbinary Nico head canons which are common as of current, and that argument quickly becomes transphobic is people don't watch themselves... Even without bringing nonbinary Nico into the equation, headcanoning Nico as femme isn't bad or wrong, and to say otherwise becomes gender policing which is bad).

There's also this weird obsession with there being a "correct way" to ship mlm ships (specifically solangelo), which when considering it's not mlm or nblm saying those things, it becomes really uncomfortable. Especially because the wording of some posts is less "hey this is homophobic" and comes off more like people are more upset at seeing an mlm couple than at the fact that they're being shipped poorly.

All of this in combination with the constant, talking over of queer guys (specifically mlm and nblm) comes off really messed up, and yeah homophobic.

It's not something that can be pinned down to one specific thing but rather a series of smaller microagressions (which in sure most of are intended in good faith but are being filled with subconscious bias) that build up over time- which is why my concern is that solangelo is facing harsher criticism/different treatment that percabeth simply for being a queer ship.

I can't be 100% sure on that like I said, because that's something that is hard to gain tangible evidence for, or maybe even impossible :/

If there wasn't so many other small things going on alongside the harsher criticism of solangelo, I would honestly just ignore it... But the weird policing of "how to ship solangelo" while proclaiming it's "overly fetishized" all while speaking over a not insignificant number of mlm and nblm who have agreed with certain opinions, or taken time to write their own (+ some of the rhetoric that can be found on he blogs of people commonly expressing these opinions) is super uncomfortable and definitely homophobic... Even if they were treating the ship kind of weird, but treating the queer guys talking about it well and actually listening (because the current solangelo fandom probably has the highest proportion of queer guys in comparison to any other fandom I've been in with an mlm ship as of right now) I wouldn't be so bothered... But sadly that's not the case..

(I'd also like to note out of my posts criticizing the current conversations happening around the issue my post saying "listen to mlm voices" got a lot more notes than some of the other ones, which I can't say is specifically anything, because like solangelo perhaps being treated unfairly to percabeth, I am willing to acknowledge there might not be an issue- but it's weird how often mlm and nblm's posts on "listen to us" will be uplifted but never any actual criticism... Just a thought)

I detail things a little closer and in more detail in some of my posts tagged #fandom homophobia, #mlm fetishism, and #gender policing in fandom, it's not a full or comprehensive list (I've only really started speaking up in the last month or so), and it is largely solangelo specific. However I am always interested in listening to the voices of other queer guys about the issues and hearing out their thoughts as well (people aren't a monolith and I'm interested in trying to be as nuanced as possible!) and I acknowledge that although I am mlm and am going to be a little better at recognizing issues and calling them out (although I like every person am not perfect of course)

So yeah! That's a bit of the current ongoings, again not a full comprehensive list, and definitely not my best explanation ever but I think the point gets across well enough? Definitely check out my other tags if you're interested in more, there's also definitely more posts I need to make on some of the things I've seen (maybe not all of them so solangelo fandom specific, and maybe some of them even more solangelo fandom specific) but it's rather slow work in progress!

[melancholic-pigeon]

bonus wip #1

Because it’s mother’s day and I happen to be writing about Sally’s birthday (which I made up) in a multichapter of mine: a longer excerpt (same one I published last time, plus revisions) to show some appreciation to everyone’s favorite mom. (No context needed.)

In the morning, Paul makes coffee while Estelle helps unwrap. She's at the age where ripping paper makes her squeal with hysterical laughter, which worms its way into Percy's heart and melts it into pudding. 

Several of the presents are from Percy's friends, including a handbound book of original recipes from Leo, a lovely silver bracelet inset with mother-of-pearl that Beckendorf made himself, and a huge sheathed knife with a matching decorative handle from Clarisse. The last one makes his mom snort as she gets up to put it on the bookshelf, out of reach of curious toddler hands. 

"Decorative. Sure." 

"I bet she'd teach you how to use it if you asked." 

"I know how to use a bowie knife, dear. Your father and I used to catch and cook our own fish when we went camping."

"Which reminds me, he still hasn't taken me out," Paul cuts in, frowning. "We've got dad jokes and stories to swap, and you can't teach me to fillet a herring without a herring to fillet."

"I'll bug him about it the next time we talk," Percy promises. "It's probably the ADHD." 

"Do you want me to bug you about bugging him?" 

"If you haven't set something up by blueback season, yeah."

Percy and Paul went in on a pound of jasmine tea, which his mom reaches for next. She immediately asks for a cup— it's one of two days out of the entire year where she lets other people wait on her, for a change, and even that took a lot of cajoling. 

Paul makes the tea, since Percy usually scalds the leaves and it turns out tasting like grass. She probably wouldn't complain anyway, but it's her birthday, and she deserves to have the best tea that can be made in their kitchen. 

"Is the blue bag from Jason?" Paul sets the mug on a coaster in the middle of the coffee table, and Percy scoops the baby into his lap so she doesn't try to grab it. She mashes her toddler hand against his cheek.

"And Thalia. I'm not sure if they went in on stuff or he just packed them both in one bag to make it easy." 

Either is a possibility. He watches as his mom reaches in and pulls out a large frame, her eyes widening as Estelle rips away the paper.

"Please pass on that I am absolutely furious."

She turns the frame around. An autographed vinyl EP of Sign O' the Times by Prince— one of the albums Percy grew up on, though she skipped a few of the songs when he was little, most of which ended up in his library by high school anyway. Thalia must have spent a fortune on it. 

"That woman is incredible," Paul breathes, lightly touching the glass. "How does she even find this stuff?" 

"See!"

"Ebay genius, probably." Percy grins as Estelle reaches for the album, and holds her over the glass so she can touch it too. "She's also really good at barter chains."

His mother shakes her head as she puts the album aside and digs back into the bag. 

This frame is smaller and wrapped in the same paper, with Jason's careful print written out across it. The crinkling sound draws Estelle's attention, and she reaches over to do her job and tear it off.

Their mom gasps and puts a hand to her mouth, her eyes going bright.

It's a watercolor portrait of Percy and Estelle, laughing by the shoreline. She's dressed in a little bucket hat, a ruffled swimsuit patterned to look like a clownfish and the coolest shades in the world— sparkly blue frames shaped like seashells that he kind of wishes he could get in his size. He's in a wetsuit, having spent the morning of his birthday surfing, and he's holding onto her hands so she can jump at the waves. In the distant background is the Montauk lighthouse.

It's beautifully done, like everything else Jason's ever put to paper, but Percy's never choked up like this over one of them. 

"You remember that, Beluga? That was on my birthday, when you came and visited me and Jason at the beach."

"Beach?" she asks, expectant. Paul bursts into laughter. 

"You're your mother's daughter, sweet pea."

"Beach!" Estelle insists. Percy noses her pudgy cheek. 

"It's too cold to swim, baby." His mom's eyes are sparkling, still a little teary. He can see Estelle in the smile on her face. "But we could go for a walk and visit." 

"Brunch first." Paul kisses her— Percy averts his eyes, wrinkling his nose at his sister to make her giggle again— and gets up, heading back into the kitchen. 

It's a lovely way to spend a late morning. Pale blue araucana eggs, courtesy of Grover's new hens; a blueberry coffee cake from Nico by a fantastic hole in the wall in Hell's Kitchen; Paul's signature home fries, made from blue potatoes and seasoned to perfection; all of it delicious.

Jason calls while Percy's doing the dishes. After his deep, resonant performance of the happy birthday song, the five of them chat on speakerphone for a little while, though he has to excuse himself pretty quickly to keep banging through his reading. 

"Maybe next year," Percy sighs. His mom puts her hand on his hip, then crouches down to help Estelle with her light-up sneakers. 

"He's always welcome for a rain check." 

Percy ends up carrying his sister on his hip, snuggled into his jacket to block the chilly sea breeze. She points at seagulls, shouting triumphantly every time. 

"More bird!"

"That's right. A whole flock of 'em."

They watch for a while as the gulls fight over a discarded pizza crust. Then Percy feels an arm around his back and a head against his shoulder.

"I don't know how I got so lucky," his mother murmurs. "I have a wonderful husband, time for my passions and the best two kids in the world." 

Percy's eyes sting. 

For most of his life, her birthdays had been spent without fanfare. He was rarely actually there for them anyway, and Gabe complained so much it was easier to just ignore the day and focus on survival instead. 

She'd been triaging like that since before she even met Percy's dad, keeping herself afloat when nobody seemed to care if she drowned. It would have been easy to lie down and give up. Percy's pretty sure he would have.

He turns to hug her with the obligatory proclamation of a Stella Sandwich, leaning his cheek against the top of his mom's head while his sister wriggles with delight. 

"Luck's got nothing to do with it."

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 8

A fic in which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, and does his best to protect those coming after him from what he went through.

Content warnings: panic attacks, vomiting, food issues, medical trauma.

Chapter summary: Caleb has a bad day.

Notes: Chapter title is from Eight by Sleeping At Last again

****

Chapter 8: An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken

Caleb paid absolutely no attention to the walk through The Tangles back home, reliant on Caduceus’s gentle hand on his elbow. One foot on stone, then the next foot, then the first foot again, and the next. There was thunder, rumbling softly.

Beauregard was waiting at the front door. “Hey. Let’s get him upstairs.”

They followed her through the house. To one of the spare bedrooms on the middle floor. Yasha was there.

So was Essek. Caleb squeezed his eyes shut before he could fall apart.

“I sent a sneaky message while you drew the circle,” Caduceus said quietly. “Was that all right?”

Caleb nodded.

“We should get Nico’s coat and shoes off,” said Yasha. Caleb opened his eyes. Between Astrid and Essek casting Telekinesis, and Beau and Yasha helping, they managed to strip off his outer layers and find his spellbook to set on the table beside the bed. His spellcasting focus, a wand, was put into a drawer.

“I can get the ash off him,” said Essek, casting a few rounds of Prestidigitation until the ash was gone. Nico must have been closer to the house originally, and stepped back to hide. And then it was too much.

Essek crossed to Caleb and wordlessly began to lift the ash from him as well, while Wulf and Yasha lowered Nico into bed. Essek offered to help Astrid and Wulf clean up, but they mechanically took care of themselves. Beauregard was already clean; he had probably taken care of her first.

“I think I can help Nico,” Caduceus said. “However, I would not recommend doing it yet.”

Caleb couldn’t gather the words to protest, but Beauregard was already talking. “Yeah, you’re gonna have to explain that one, Caduceus.”

“He’s like this for a reason,” Caduceus replied. “If we bring him back too soon, he may respond poorly. Remember, whatever I do will probably lift the modified memories. That’s a lot.”

A rush of memories came flooding through Caleb’s brain. Too much input. Dizzy. Caleb excused himself, made it halfway down the hallway to the bathroom area, before vomiting on the floor. A hand rubbed his back, a soft incantation. The floor was clean now.

“Do you want to lie down?” Essek asked softly.

Caleb shook his head. Went back to the room. He hadn’t made it very far. They probably all knew.

“All right,” Astrid was saying. “Watch him overnight. We will return in the morning. I will make sure Felix is settled in the meantime.”

“Are you gonna tell him?” asked Beau.

Astrid pinched the bridge of her nose in a rare show of duress. “I may have to.”

Caleb cleared his throat; the voice that came out of him was weak, but audible. “Leave out Nico’s condition for now.”

Astrid nodded. “He’s safe. That’s all Felix needs to know until we fix this.”

Caleb could have told her that pulling Nico out of this state was nowhere near fixing anything, but that would have been too cruel. She was tired. They all were.

Astrid and Wulf left, both catching their gaze on Caleb for a few seconds on their way out.

“Caleb,” said Beau, “what time is it?”

“Twelve thirty-two.”

“Fuck.”

****

Beauregard sat with Nico while Yasha and Caduceus took over the kitchen. Yasha took two plates up to the room, while Caduceus pushed a plate towards Caleb. He still felt sick.

“I know,” Caduceus said when Caleb didn’t move to eat. “Just a few bites.”

He was right. Caleb knew he was right. He was going to feel worse when the last dregs of adrenaline left him if he didn’t have something in his belly. Caduceus had put some grilled vegetables with a slice of buttered toast in front of him. It was inoffensive enough that he could probably stand it.

He picked a few pieces of vegetable up with his hands. Took small bites. Ate slowly. Caduceus sat back, evidently satisfied, and dug into his own lunch. Essek hooked his ankle around Caleb’s while they ate.

After, Caleb took a cup of tea Caduceus made him and sat on the garden steps. A few drops of rain had begun to fall from the sky, but there was still time before it began to fall in earnest. Blumenthal was probably in the midst of it by now.

Maybe that was why Nico had decided to do this in broad daylight. He could have decided today was the day, only to panic when he realised there was a storm coming. Caleb’s thoughts were slippery. He couldn’t hold onto anything for long. It was probably for the best. If his mind was operating at its usual capacity, he would have fallen in a heap.

Caduceus sat with him for a bit, topping up his tea and sipping some of his own. “Nico is as settled as he can be. We’ll keep someone with him. You will rest.”

Caleb’s chuckle was not humorous at all. “We’ll see.”

They watched lighting crackle across the sky. Caleb counted the seconds until the thunder. Ein, zwei, drei, fier, fünf. The thunder rumbled. The storm was close. The rain grew more insistent, trickling and hissing around them. Caleb closed his eyes, letting the rain fall on him. Felt each little cold splash on his scalp, face, hands.

“We should get you inside,” said Caduceus, though he made no effort to drag Caleb to his feet.

“Nein. I like it here.”

“All right.” Caduceus’s voice was somewhere between amused and resigned. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Caleb felt his departure.

The rain thickened, and it became harder to count each individual drop on his skin. He let it wash over him: the shushing of the rain, the crystalline trickling of the drops hitting the house and sliding downward, dropping from any available surface.

It was easier to step outside himself when there was so much gentle sensory output to focus on aside from his own exhaustion-addled thoughts. The rain soaked him through, and the thunder roared, and his teeth chattered in the cold. And he felt a little more like a person.

He let himself drift for a time, until Caduceus returned, more insistent this time.

“All right, Caleb. That’s enough. Let’s get you inside where it’s warm.”

Caleb let Caduceus pull him to his feet and lead him inside, where Essek floated, twisting his hands. Caduceus gently pushed the heavy, waterlogged coat from Caleb’s shoulders and Essek dropped to his knees, unlacing his boots and tugging them off one-by-one.

“There’s a hot bath waiting at your place,” said Caduceus, and he cast another low-level heal on Caleb, pulling some of the remaining aches and pains and scratches and bruises from the day out of him. “Essek will help if you need it.”

Essek set Caleb’s boots aside and straightened, delicately extending a hand as if asking for a dance. “Shall we?”

Lifting his arms felt like lifting a boulder, but Caleb slid his hand into Essek’s and let him lead the way. Through the house, through the middle door, through Caleb’s side to the small room set aside for the bathtub. Steam rose from the water in the wooden tub. The thought of going through all the effort of undressing and heaving himself into the bathtub was not appealing. He wasn’t sure he had strength of mind or body for such a task.

It was only when Essek touched his shoulder that Caleb realised he had been staring blankly at the bathtub for thirty seconds. Essek gently rubbed his thumb along Caleb’s collarbone at the neckline of his shirt.

“Do you want help?”

Caleb cleared his throat. “Ja. Bitte.”

Essek stepped in front of him and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Caleb drifted again, loosely aware of tugging motions, brushes of damp fabric against his skin, the influx of cold, dry air. Essek cupped his cheek after four minutes and twenty-three seconds.

“Are you ready? I will help you.” Essek, with Caleb’s mumbled consent, walked Caleb over to the tub and cast a spell that made him feel lighter. Essek scooped him up and lowered him into the bathtub, releasing the spell so he sank properly into the hot water.

The heat shocked Caleb back into his body, before it mellowed out as his skin thawed and became a comforting warmth instead. And Caleb realised that maybe he didn’t want to be comfortable at all. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be comfortable. Maybe the real reason he had sat out in the rain was because he wanted to feel the discomfort of wet clothes clinging to him, chill seeping into his bones.

Essek lathered up a sponge and took Caleb’s arm, slowly working soapy circles into his flesh. Caleb gritted his teeth and looked away. The movement stopped.

“Caleb, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Caleb shook his head. Essek hummed thoughtfully and resumed washing. It was around the time that Essek gently pushed him forward to wash his back that a rush of emotion smacked Caleb in the lungs. He pressed his wet fist to his mouth to dampen the sound of what may have been a groan or a sob or a scream. He didn’t know. Essek kissed his shoulder and finished washing him, leaning him backwards against the tub and lifting each of his legs in turn. Then, he set the sponge aside, rinsed his hands in the bathwater, shook them dry, and cupped Caleb’s face.

“Let’s sit here a moment,” he said quietly. “Then I will wash your hair and help you up.” He leaned forward and pressed his lip’s to Caleb’s forehead. “Thank you for letting me help.” Essek cradled Caleb’s head just below his, resting his chin on top. Caleb buried his face in Essek’s shirt. This gentleness was breaking him apart. He cried. Quietly, for now. Essek held him a little longer, until it stopped. Also for now.

Then Essek reached for a small jug at his side, filling it in a smaller tub of clean water. He carefully tilted Caleb’s head back and poured the water over his hair. He produced a little round tub of floral-scented paste that Caleb knew to be from Essek’s slowly dwindling stash of products from Rosohna. He wanted to say something about that, ask if he was sure he wanted to use it on him, but words were not his friend right now. Essek scooped out a coin-sized amount and rubbed it between his palms before digging his hands into Caleb’s hair. Caleb couldn’t feel a lot of lather as Essek rubbed it through his hair, but that was probably normal, he guessed.

“Your hair is quite long now,” Essek said. “We need to get you some better products, or you are going to keep getting split ends. You are far too handsome for that.” He filled the jug again and tipped Caleb’s head back, rinsing out the product. He had to do it a few times. It probably would have been easier if Caleb felt up to participating in this at all.

Finally satisfied, Essek set the jug aside and fetched a towel, gently drying Caleb’s hair a little bit. Then he stood, helped Caleb up.

“Do you think you can step out of the bath with my help?”

Caleb felt reasonably steady. He nodded. Essek gripped his hands, stepping back as Caleb lifted his leg and lowered it to the distant ground, steadying him as the other followed. Essek grabbed a second towel and wrapped it around Caleb, rubbing it against his skin. Caleb zoned out a bit while Essek dried him, numbly letting him lead him to the bedroom, where he sat on the bed in the towel while Essek dug through his drawers.

“I would just tuck you into bed naked, but it’s a little cold for that.” Essek’s hand stopped and he looked down, considering. “Ah, this will do.” He pulled out a soft cotton shirt Caleb wore to bed when anything else felt too harsh on his scars. Essek worked Caleb’s arms through and lifted them so he could pull the shirt down over Caleb’s head. It was long enough to reach his knees.

Then Essek pulled back the covers and gently maneuvered Caleb into bed. Caleb lay there, rubbing the patterns on the quilt. Essek sat beside him, pulling his spellbook from his Wristpocket and slowly leafing through the pages, keeping up a stream of quiet, one-sided conversation.

Caleb buried his face in the pillow. Over time, he was dimly aware of Beau, Yasha and Caduceus checking in on him. He paid it little mind, until Beauregard arrived with a tea tray.

“Hey, Cad made more tea. Want some?”

Essek softly closed his spellbook and returned it to its pocket plane. “Thank you, Beauregard.” He nudged Caleb. “Would you like tea?”

Caleb nodded, pushing himself into a sitting position with a great deal of effort. He hadn’t felt this fucked up in a long time from something that hadn’t literally knocked him unconscious (or dead). Beauregard handed him a mug, along with Essek.

“Is it okay if I…” She gestured to the third mug. She wanted to stay for a bit. Caleb nodded. She sat criss-cross applesauce on the end of the bed, staring into her mug. She looked deflated. Tired.

She had been through a lot today. Caleb wanted to thank her for it. “Beauregard.” The rest of the words stuck in his throat, leaving his mouth in a series of unintelligible stammers. He hadn’t done that in months.

Beauregard gave him a thin smile. “Hey, dude. It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

He held out his arm and she ducked under it, giving him a quick squeeze before retreating to her spot again. Rubbed her eyes with the back of a hand.

****

Dinner was hard, but Caleb ate. He had more words now, at least. He used them to pull Essek aside after dinner.

“I should warn you,” he said. “Sleeping tonight may be an adventure.”

“How can I help?”

“That’s not what I was…” Caleb sighed. “You should know. I used to scream in my sleep. Before the Nein. Before Veth, even. I think it was a hangover from the sanatorium, but I don’t know for sure. The early days were…” Caleb didn’t like to think about the days after his escape, feeling like a bag of broken glass crudely taped together. Running until he couldn’t physically run anymore. Sleeping in little holes, only to wake in the night screaming from old-but-new-to-him memories and objectively new panic. “It’s… um. I might wake you.”

Essek rested his hands on Caleb’s fidgeting fingers. “Are you worried about inconveniencing me? I need less rest than you do, and I am here because I want to be here. I want to help you.” He slowly lifted Caleb’s chin, forcing his gaze away from the floor and to him. He looked sad. Caleb hated that. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I didn’t want to frighten you. Or the others, but I don’t know if I can…”

“Why don’t you talk to Caduceus?” Essek suggested. “Maybe he can help. I will talk to Beau and Yasha, so they are aware and do not come bursting into your room.”

Caleb chuckled. “Ja, I don’t want them to think I’m dying. Okay. I can handle Caduceus.”

He found Caduceus in Nico’s room, chatting quietly to the boy while he sipped a fresh cup of tea. He glanced up at Caleb. “Hey.”

Caleb cleared his throat. “How is he?”

“The same. He seems settled, at least. We’ve made him as comfortable as we can. I fed him soup earlier. Still has a swallow reflex.”

“Makes sense.” Caleb would have been dead if they hadn’t been able to feed him for eleven years.

“You seemed bothered when I suggested we wait til the morning.”

Caleb hadn’t spoken up about it, but he wasn’t exactly surprised Caduceus had noticed. He had made a rapid exit to vomit, after all. “Ja. I don’t… it was a personal issue. You made a good argument.” Caleb took a further step into the room; he felt heavy. He let his gaze drift to Nico. He was mostly still, eyes open, blinking occasionally. No indication he could hear them.

“He has gotten agitated a few times,” Caduceus said. “A Calm Emotions spell helps him settle. We’re looking after him.”

Caleb couldn’t think too hard about the difference there, or it would break him. He swallowed what few memories he had of that place. “And tomorrow? What’s the plan?”

“I wanted to check that with you.” Caduceus set his cup aside, stood up. “I know it’s hard, but what do you remember about the woman who healed you?”

“I believe she was once a cleric,” said Caleb. “From my research, and what I’ve seen you do, I’m fairly sure she used Greater Restoration. Because it knocked out the false memories as well. It was a lot.”

“All right. I will have that prepared.” He picked up his tea and took a sip. “I’m sure you didn’t come here just for a conversation we could have tomorrow.”

Fuck. It had been easier with Essek.

“I, uh, just wanted to…” Words were not Caleb’s friend today, and it took every ounce of self control not to cry out in frustration. “I did not have a good time when I escaped the sanatorium. I think I might regress a bit tonight. It’s a bit… in your face, I suppose.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I mainly wanted to… warn you. Essek is talking to the lesbians for me.” Okay, enough fucking around. Just say it. “I used to scream in my sleep.”

Caduceus kept a steady gaze on him. “All right. I’ll get you some of that sleepy tea before you go to bed and keep an ear out. If it sounds like you’re struggling, I can throw in a Calm Emotions spell. It only lasts a minute, but it might be enough to cut things off and let you rest.” He smiled gently down at Nico. “It works on him. Should work on you.”

“Danke.” Caleb was too choked up to say anything else.

****

It had been a long fucking day. Caleb had been exhausted for hours. It was finally a reasonable hour to sleep. Caduceus had brought him the tea as promised, gently guiding him into bed. Essek was trancing beside him, just for the moment, while Caleb drank his tea and tried to breathe deeply and calm the fuck down so he could try to sleep.

The tea was one of the blends Caduceus had been experimenting with for probably longer than Caleb had been alive. It was hard to say how old Caduceus was, since he didn’t know himself. Chamomile and lavender were the most prominent. The science was somewhat dubious, but the tea itself was comforting, and Caduceus had several different blends with a similar goal that he would rotate if one did not seem to work on someone. If this one didn’t help, Caduceus would probably come back with his lemon balm tea, or one of the others.

Caleb’s hands shook around the mug; Caduceus had given him one of the heavier, sturdier ones he had gifted to them. Essek shifted, eyes alert. He rested his hand on Caleb’s knee.

“Are you all right?”

The question hurt. Unexpectedly. He knew people cared about him. Maybe he didn’t feel deserving of that care right now. Maybe he felt like a bag of glass that would cut anyone who came too close. The world was blurring; his thoughts were too fast and dizzying and just too much. The weight of it all was going to suffocate him. He couldn’t breathe.

The cup was gone from his grip, replaced by Essek’s hands. He was saying something but Caleb couldn’t process the words. Distant. Underwater, maybe. Muffled in some way.

He collapsed, and landed in arms. Pressed his face against a shirt. Sobbed. Sobbed some more.

Caleb was typically a very controlled person. He had to be. Building rings of steel around him to hold the barrel of disaster intact. The rings were gone, and everything burst out. He couldn’t stop it. He had no control, no filter, like he was fresh out of the sanatorium and running on panic and rage and a gaping chasm of grief that threatened to overwhelm him with every passing second.

He cried like a child. Loud, all-consuming. Gasping. And he was held through it all. But it wasn’t stopping. He couldn’t stop it. His body heaved with the depth of the well from which this had all sprung.

He started to cough whenever he gasped in a breath. It was getting harder to breathe at all. Everything hurt.

A new hand on his shoulder. A wash of calm. He coughed again, trying to get his breathing back under control now that he could.

“You’re all right, Caleb,” said Caduceus, leaning over him. “You’ve got a minute. Take your time.”

Caleb leaned against Essek, who had probably been stroking his hair for quite some time. He breathed. Coughed a little. Breathe again. It was easier each time. Caduceus continued to steady him.

At the forty-five second mark, he was okay. Caduceus helped him drink some water. They lay him down, tucked him in. And the spell wore off. The wave of sadness and grief and frustration struck again, but he knew what was happening now. He had expected it. He breathed, squeezed both their hands.

“Get some rest,” Caduceus said. “I’ll stay here for a bit.”

Essek curled around him. Caduceus sat by the bedside. Caleb was exhausted and heavy. He drifted asleep. He woke once, disoriented, a scream in his throat. Another spell, and held hands and words of comfort pulled him back under.

The next thing he knew, he was blinking awake in the dim golden light of morning, head pillowed on Essek’s thigh as he read a book in Undercommon. And Caleb had made it through one of the worst nights he could remember having in a long time.

[skeletal-kitt]

The big three kids and their magic items: hear me out

This turned into a story about that one time Hades enchanted Nicos skull ring with similar powers to the helm of darkness. (TOA cannon, takes place a couple weeks after Apollo left camp for the quest, slight mention of Solangelo).

So Percy has a pen that turns into a sword and had a wrist watch that could turn into a sheild at one point.

Thalia has a mace canister that turns into an electric spear and a bracelet that turn into Aegis the sheild.

It would be pretty cool for Nico to have a magic item like that.

I know he already had a Stygian iron sword but I’m talking about something to help him with his powers. Something kind of like Hades’s helm of darkness that Nico could draw power from instead of having to use his own.

I’m thinking about that skull ring with ruby red eyes that he twists around his finger a lot. He seems to always be wearing it. (I think Bianca gave it to him or maybe Hades I can’t remember wich).

Hades enchants the skull ring as a birthday present for Nico. (He’s trying to be a Good Parent’TM). Except he wants it to be a surprise and it’ll take a few days to enchant it so he takes the ring while Nicos sleeping and he has no idea.

Nico wakes up and immediately feels like something’s not quite right. He’s not sure what it is but somethings off. He goes through his morning routine and gets to breakfast. He talks to Will and tells him how he feels.

That’s when Will says “is it because the skull ring you always wear is missing?” He’d been holding Nicos hand and noticed the ring was gone. Nico is shocked because yes that’s exactly why he feels weird but how?! He never takes the ring off he sleeps with it on!!

So Nico goes back to the Hades cabin and looks all over for it. He tears apart the bed thinking maybe it fell off and got lost in the sheets. He looks in every drawer in his room and bathroom. Rifles through the laundry looking in anything that has pockets.

Nico searches every nook and cranny of the Hades cabin for that ring. After a couple days he gives up on looking for it there. Maybe he left it in Apollo cabin, he spends a lot of time there with Will, Kayla, and Austin. He can’t find it anywhere there either.

At this point he’s asking random people he runs into if they’ve seen the skull ring. Campers start making jokes about it, saying Nico treats the ring like a lost pet. Someone puts up wanted posters with a drawing of the ring and quote “ if you found this ring please return to Nico di Angelo “.

Nico doesn’t even care. Let them make all jokes they want, at least it’s something harmless and kinda funny this time, not like all the jokes they used to make about him being creepy, a scary loner, or an oddball outcast.

Anyway Nico ventures into the underworld to look for the ring in his room in Hades’s palace. He runs into his dad in front of the doors and asks him if he’s seen the ring.

Hades literally has the ring in his hand behind his back, he just got back from Hecates place to finish up the enchantment, but Nicos birthday isn’t until tomorrow and he can’t blow the surprise so he makes the split second descision to reply “no I haven’t seen any rings but I’ll keep an eye out for it, hope you find it”

So Nico continues to his room to look for the ring and Hades sits at a drawing desk writing a note to explain the enchantment of the ring and a small apology for not letting Nico know he was going to take the ring for a few days and wishes his son a happy birthday

Nico can’t find the ring in his room wich means he’ll have to search the whole palace. But he spent most of the day traveling through the labyrinth to get to the passage to the underworld so he’s a little tired.

He texts Will (let’s pretend they have phones) that he’ll be spending a few days in the underworld to search the palace for the ring and to tell Chiron he made it there safely. They say goodnight and Nico goes to sleep.

Hades leaves the note and ring on the nightstand for his son to find when he wakes up.

Nico finds the note written in Ancient Greek and the skull ring and he’s ecstatic to have it back. The note explains the rings powers. It’s basically like Hades’s helm but to a smaller degree.

It can shroud Nico in shadows at his will like he’s practically invisible. The ring has its own power source connected to the underworld so Nico can draw some power from it for shadow-traveling and raising the dead and doesn’t have to use as much of his own power. That’ll come in handy when tired or drained.

It does kinda have a time limit though, if all the rings power is used in a short period of time it has to wait until at least an hour after it gets dark to get its power back. The ring charges it’s power better in darkness by absorbing the shadows.

Hades, Nico, and underworld creatures are the same way, theyre all more powerful in the mortal world at night.

Nico was surprised to read the slight apology from Hades for taking the ring (Hades rarely apologizes for anything, especially not for small misunderstandings like this), and for the happy 15th birthday. Nico had forgotten about his own birthday.

He neatly folded the note and put it in his jacket pocket and put on the ring. It looked as though it had been recently polished. The silver was shinier and the ruby eyes gleamed at him brightly. (Nico later finds out that the ruby eyes glow in the dark now).

He tried looking all over the palace for Hades to say thank you but he had vanished. He was probably busy with running the underworld. Nico sent a text to Will telling him all about the ring and that he’s coming back to camp now.

Later that night at dinner in camp, Nico sacrificed a whole meal of Hades’s favorite foods to him as a thank you.

Nico had his favorite food for dinner. Will, Kayla, and Austin had made him a huge chocolate birthday cake. It was a little lopsided and the icing was uneven. But Nico didn’t care about that. He was happier than he’d been in years for his birthday. Will led a sing-a-long at the campfire and Nico told scary stories afterward.

He slept over in Apollo cabin that night. They stayed up and talked and giggled for hours and built a giant blanket fort and watched Disney movies. Nico felt happier than he’d ever been, surrounded by his best friends, twisting the skull ring on his finger and knowing his father was watching out for him. He dozed off during The Lion King cuddled up with Will and slept peacefully though the night.

(No shut up I totally did not cry writing this, you probably cried reading this you big sap).

Now a little bit about how Nico uses the ring:

When he’s on mini quests he tries not to use it too much because he doesn’t want to be totally dependent on the ring and doesn’t want to use up all its power in one go. He only uses it in emergencies when he’s fighting and getting drained or already used up too much of his own power.

When he’s just chilling at camp and nothing much is happening he casually uses tiny bits of its power to mess with his friends or get out of awkward conversations or for playing hide and seek or sneaking into the Apollo cabin or playing pranks on campers or stealth tactics for capture the flag.

The ring always recharges fully at night, there’s no harm in using tiny bits of it throughout the day. Nico isn’t as tired as he used to be and doesn’t have to take as many naps. And no more passing out right after shadow-traveling.

Well that’s about it. I just wanted to explore the possibilities of Nico having a magic weapon like Percy and Thalia.

[ayellowcurtain]

I just saw a pic of federico Cesari with scrubs and aaaahhhh I thought of you immediately!!! do you think you could write something about Martino in med school and Nico so proud of his boyfriend??

Martino is tired and aware he’s in a bad mood, hoping he’ll be able to handle it with himself without lashing out at Nico. It’s been a long couple of weeks of a lot of studying and way too much time spent in his residency added to not enough hours of sleep and very little free time to spend glued to Nico.

He feels every muscle in his body getting even sorer with every step he takes up the squeaking stairs, stopping at Nico’s door to search for the keys he threw randomly inside his bag this morning. He should have put it in a smaller pocket, but he was in a rush and there was no such thing as an extra second to be lost putting his keys somewhere specific to make his life easier when coming back home.

He’s about to complain and just knock on the door and ask to be let in when he finds it, rolling his eyes as he finally opens the door, feeling his eyes heavy and his body complain of another movement as he steps in, trying to be quiet in case Ni is already in bed.

The kitchen light is still on but Nico always leaves it on so Marti can find his way around the house. He kicks his sneakers off his feet and leaves his bag on top of them right next to the door, stretching his whole body while yawning. He didn’t even give himself time to change at the hospital before coming home, that’s how desperate he was for a warm shower and his bed, hugging Nico tight.

“Wow…” He opens his eyes to find Nico standing a few steps from him, in between his tiny kitchen and the living room.

“Hi…” Marti drops his arms down and instantly feels more relaxed just by seeing Nico and his soft and oversized clothes, his white fuzzy socks over his black sweatpants, and an extra-large white shirt exposing just one side of his collarbones.

“Thought you were in bed already.”

Nico doesn’t answer, just shakes his head with a soft smile sitting on his lips, staring at Marti’s body and he thinks he might invite Nico for his shower if he’s that interested so late at night.

“I’ve never seen you in scrubs.”

Oh.

Martino looks down at himself, hoping he doesn’t have any weird stains that he won’t be able to explain without grossing Nico out. While still scanning himself, he looks up to meet his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Do I look good?”

Nico sighs loudly while walking to Marti, putting his hands on the sides of his waist.

“You look amazing, Marti.”

He never thought about it, wearing doctor clothes and how real it makes what his future will look like but it feels really nice to hear Nico addressing it.

“I’m extremely tired and stinky if that helps make me less amazing.” He explains without thinking and Nico laughs softly, nuzzling against his cheek, kissing it right after, searching for one of Marti’s hand and intertwining their fingers, his hand so much warmer than Marti’s for once.

“You’re not stinky and you’re never looking less amazing to me. Did you eat anything?”

Martino can’t remember the last time he ate so that must mean something but he nods his head instead of telling the truth because it would make Nico over worry for no reason. He just forgot he had to eat and suddenly it was night already and his shift was done.

“What did you eat?” Marti rolls his eyes instead of answering, holding Nico’s face gently, feeling instant relief of his contracted muscle again when touching his boyfriend like Nico is the quickest serotonin.

“Don’t ask difficult questions. Can you order something for us while I take a quick shower?”

Nico nods his head and Martino smiles against his lips, wrapping his arms around Nico’s neck for a quick kiss before parting ways to go take his much needed shower.

He feels a little too attached to his scrubs all of a sudden so he waits until he’s inside the bathroom to take them off instead of walking out of them while going down the hall. He folds them and puts them on the bathroom counter even though he’ll put them to wash after his shower. Nico likes them so Marti is more appreciative of the blue, simple outfit now.

The shower water is too hot and not hot enough at the same time. It helps him relax and feel a little sleepy even but it also burns and irritates his pale skin at the same time. So Marti tries to make it quick while enjoying it, closing his eyes, and constantly swinging his body slowly from under and away from the water, loving how warm the tiny bathroom gets.

He’s in desperate need of letting his skin breathe for a little after a long day wearing layers of clothes, so he just puts on some clean underwear and drags himself back to the living room while carrying his dirty clothes, hoping their food won’t take too long to get there or he’ll fall asleep on the spot.

“I already put some clothes to wash, was just waiting for you to get home.” Nico holds his scrubs right away, still very interested in them and Martino smiles, throwing himself on the couch as he watches his handsome and caring boyfriend put his clothes to wash with his on their old washing machine under the kitchen counter, the only place they had to put it, no space for an actual laundry in Nico’s grandma’s old apartment.  

“Can you put them on when they’re clean?”

Nico frowns, looking over his shoulder, closing the washing machine and standing up, walking to the couch and sitting next to Marti, putting his legs on Marti’s lap.

“Your scrubs?” Martino nods his head, smiling, “They’ll probably be too big for me.”

“That’s the point. I want to see it. I’m sure you’ll look so cute, Ni.”

Nico laughs and sits up closer, laying his head on Martino’s shoulder, holding his hand.

“Okay. I’ll try them on later.”

“Thank you.” Martino kisses the top of his head, looking at Nico’s pale hand on top of his, the long fingers, his hand a little bigger than Marti’s and skinnier too, “What are we going to eat, chef?”

“Some delicious sushi from your favorite restaurant.”

Martino moans, feeling his mouth water just thinking about it. He hopes Nico made their order extra big because Martino is starving.

“So tonight is the night you’ll propose?”

“Maybe so.”

Martino kisses his forehead, smiling when Nico looks up to meet his gaze, kissing his jaw, “I’ve been waiting for years now.”

“Patience, young Martino. It has to be perfect.”

Martino nods his head but he doesn’t agree. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Martino would say yes over sushis any night but he’s letting Nico do this his way. He’s not even sure if Nico is actually planning anything, it’s just fun to fantasize. And hope he is planning something in the near future.

[logical-little-lies]

{Chapter 9- So, How’d It Go?}//Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You (Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE)

A/N: So this chapter starts off with a cute teen!logan scenario, then skips to Logan talking with Virgil after his date with Patton. I honestly wanna focus on the agere aspect of this story, so I'll probably continue to make the romance plot a background thing unless people request that I bring it to the forefront more. I'll have sweet romance moments here and there and their relationship progresses but it'll be a here-and-there thing, y'know?

Anyways, enjoy the chapter. It's kinda short, 2000-ish words. <3

--

"Good morningggg," Patton opened Logan's door, speaking in a sing-songy voice to wake him up. It took Logan a moment to register where he was and what happened the day prior.

Once he realized, his face went red. He had wet himself yesterday. And he wore a diaper.

Though, the diaper part wasn't terrible. But he'd address that thought later.

"Morning," he muttered, after realizing that he hadn't replied to Patton out loud. He sat up, running at his eyes. He was still in the onesie, and the space themed pull up.

"Are you okay, Lo?" Patton asked, coming in the room all the way and shutting the door behind him. Logan nodded softly. Yeah, he was technically fine, but he was very embarrassed.

"I'm fine," he replied verbally.

"If you're embarrassed about yesterday, you don't have to be. No one's gonna make fun of you," Patton sat down on the bed, giving him a soft look.

"I knoww, it's just-" he cut himself off, realizing he had no real reason to be embarrassed. His caregiver had only wanted to help, and Roman was probably the one who gave him the pull up. No one was upset with him, no one had laughed at him. "I'm sorry." he mumbled.

"Don't be sorry, kiddo- uh, Logan. Shutting off the pet name thing is hard." Patton's slip up caused them both to chuckle.  After a moment, Patton spoke again. "I figured you'd be a little shy about it." he shrugged.

Logan nodded. "You said you have trouble with accidents often when you're that little?" Patton questioned, speaking in a tone of curiosity.

"It gets harder and harder the littler I get, I guess. But I've only had actual accidents when I'm 3 or 4." he explained.

"Do you think these accidents can be avoided if I just remind you to go to the bathroom more when you're smaller?" Patton asked another question, Logan shrugging a bit in response.

"Maybe, yeah. When I'm that small, I genuinely don't recognize that I have to go until it's to late. When I'm a little older, like five or six, I just get caught up in playing and hold it off."

"So reminding you would work for when you're five or six, but any younger and it's questionable?"

Logan confirmed his suspicions with a nod, allowing him to continue. "You don't have too, we could figure something else out if you wan't....but would you be okay with wearing diapers or pull ups when you're really little? Just so you don't have to worry about it."

Logan didn't reply, thinking. Patton spoke again. "If you don't like that, we can make a new rule? That you have to wear protection after an accident. So you only wear them when needed."

"I like that, I think. For when I'm a little older though, like when my accidents are caused by me pushing it off because I wanna play." Logan trailed off, biting his lip. "When I'm three or four, I'd be okay with me wearing them all the time." he shrugged, his cheeks a little pink.

"Do you like diapers?" Patton asked suddenly, seemingly curious.

"The pull up made me feel smaller, and safer, I guess. It was one less thing I had to worry about. Plus..they're kinda cute," he was still blushing. "I can always try it and change my mind, too."

Patton nodded softly, "Of course, baby. Now, do you wanna stay big today or no?"

He could tell that Logan was big right now, but he could probably regress if he wanted to. It almost seemed like he was in an in-between state of mind anyway. Logan shook his head quickly. He had had trouble staying big for that conversation, if he was being honest.

"How small are you feeling?"

"Not very. But I don't feel completely big either." Logan admitted. "C-can I get ready by myself? I'll head down for breakfast in a bit."

Patton smiled a bit, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. "I'll see you in a bit."

Logan watched him leave, shutting the door behind him, before he pushed the covers off of him. He started by picking out an outfit. He couldn't find anything that he really liked, throwing on light blue jeans and a dark blue shirt. He pulled a beanie over his head, discarding the pull up in his trash can.

He looked around the room, trying to remember if he forgot anything. He had put on deodorant, and the rest of his mourning routine was in the bathroom. He grabbed his phone, heading into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

After brushing his teeth and such, he left his room, moving to go down the stairs, passing Patton's bedroom. The door had been left cracked open, and an item laying over the bedframe caught his eye. Logan wasn't someone who snooped through others stuff, ever, but the sweater on the bed seemed nice.

It was light blue, Patton's signature color, and it looked soft. He bit on his lip, debating his next actions. He felt a little stupid for wanting to wear his dad's shirt. He couldn't place why it felt dumb, so he ignored the feeling.

He stepped into Patton's room, looking around. He hadn't really been in here much. If Patton and Logan took naps or slept in the same bed, it was Logan's. He didn't take the time to look around, snatching up the sweater, and hugging it close to his face. It was soft.

And it smelt like Dad! He didn't even wonder for a split second if he should ask to wear it, simply pulling it on and leaving the room. He shut the door behind him and came down the stairs, entering the kitchen.

"Morning, Logan." Virgil greeted him first, everyone already seated at the table. He patted the seat next to him, motioning Logan over.

"Hi," Logan said, pulling out the chair next to his brother and across from his caregiver. Patton went to greet him, pausing when his eyes glanced over his outfit. Logan's cheeks went pink, and suddenly that stupid feeling of embarrassment came back.

"Is that my sweater?" Patton questioned, seemingly amused.

"It's mine now," Logan joked, trying to pretend he wasn't blushing. Patton chuckled.

"You can't just steal my clothes."

"Yes I can," Logan defied, giving him a cheeky smile. "It's soft and it looks cute on me." he shrugged. Patton gave him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, it does. Just ask next time?"

Logan agreed, before digging into his breakfast. Roman and Virgil jumped into conversation, and they all talked about whatever came up. They all avoided mentioning yesterday, in a means to not embarrass the boy.

"How old are you today?" Roman was the first to ask. Logan thought, trying to come up with an answer.

"Fifteen?" he decided.  

"Sounds like you're old enough to help me with the chores," Virgil stated, earning a groan from the boy.

"No thanks, Vee. I'd much rather stick to video games and watching videos of other people playing video games," Logan shook his head. He saw Patton looking at him.

"Could you please help your brother, honey?"

Logan didn't bother denying him, rolling his eyes but nodding. "Whatever, dad. I'll do the dishes and fold the laundry."

"Thank you, kiddo." Virgil smiled. "That helps a lot." he assured, causing Logan to smile a bit.

Logan spent the rest of the day regressed, helping his brother with the chores, and playing video games with him. Logan helped Patton with lunch and dinner, and everyone had an overall good day. It was later at night that Logan decided to come out of headspace, completing a few tasks he had just before bed.

The following day, he had his date with Patton. He didn't know whether to be excited or nervous. He felt a mixture of both.

Hopefully, things would go well. Only time would tell.

--

"So, how'd it go?"

"Oh dear god," Logan jumped at Virgil's voice when he entered his room, his brother figure sitting on his bed, waiting for him. "You've been all the more interested in romance since Nico showed up. Why do you care how a movie with Patton went? We always watch movies."

"It's different when it's a dateeee," Virgil teased, watching Logan shut the door behind him and come to sit next to him on the bed. "Come on, tell me how things went," Virgil pouted, looking at him.

"It went well, thank you very much. We went to a cafe after and we talked about stuff," Logan shrugged, fiddling with his hands. He smiled as he thought back on everything. "He kept complimenting me, which was nice. Patton's different, when he's a dad and stuff."

"Roman's the same way. They still care and everything, but it's a different vibe," Virgil agreed. "What'd you talk about?"

"He asked me about work, and we talked about his too. Did you know that he's in charge of sorting memories? Every single interaction Thomas has, he has to go through it?"

"Mhm. I'm the one that interprets fear and anxiety surrounding different things according to those memories. Patton and I are the ones mostly in charge of the whole memory thing," Virgil nodded a bit. "What else?"

"Um....we told stories. Remembered stuff Thomas did, talked about things that happened before the whole "little" thing." he explained, adding onto his statement, "We even talked about before the "living like humans" thing. Which was weird."

"Yeah, it's crazy thinking about how we used to live, separately and just summoning things at will. I like this more," Virgil nodded again, "Anyways, did you hold hands? Kiss? Make out?"

"Yes, we held hands over the movie. And I think we almost kissed, I'm not sure...." Logan shoved him playfully and spoke in a tone of fake annoyance. "Like...when we were leaving the cafe, we had this moment where we locked eyes and we were standing real close, then there was a loud noise because some worker dropped something in the back."

"Aweee, that's so cute! I wanna know everything," Virgil requested. "Walk me through the whole date, please."

Logan rolled his eyes, "Can we do this another day? I'm tired."

"We'll have a sleepover then. Get on with it." he ordered. Logan chuckled a bit, climbing farther onto his bed and letting Virgil follow, settling down and starting from that morning.

Yeah, Virgil was annoying and insufferable sometimes, but Logan was glad that he cared. Even if their brotherly relationship wasn't the same when they were big, they still were close outside of their headspaces. And it seemed, that while they were both big, Virgil was interested in gossip and romance.

That's what happens when you spend all your time around Roman.

Logan went through his whole day with Patton, going over the fact that Logan bought popcorn for them to share at the movies, how Patton reached over and intertwined their fingers during the first scenes of the movie, how they both ordered the same type of muffin at the cafe.

Everything. Every little thing that Patton did that made him smile or blush. Every topic they talked about over Logan's coffee and Patton's hot chocolate. Everything he noticed they had in common, everything about Patton that made him happy.

Before today, Logan had only known Patton to a certain extent outside of his headspace, generally recognizing him as either his caregiver, or just another part of Thomas. He was glad he was opening up, and that he could be close to Patton, and the other sides, outside of his headspace too.

He could have a family without being little.

Plus, Patton was really sweet. And really cute.

Logan had never dated any of the other sides, though he knew a romantic relationship between two of them was possible. Roman and Virgil were dating outside of the emo's littlespace, even if no one ever talked about it. Until recently, Logan had always told himself that he didn't need a romantic relationship.

But maybe, it'd be nice if he did. Especially with Patton.

The least he could do was try.

--

A/N: So I wanted to finish this before Christmas because I’ve been planning a the Christmas chapter for this fic for a while- I should have it ready by Christmas morning as a gift to everyone, but no promises. 

[lifeofroos]

Part 58: Fanta Shokata, better known as ‘blue fanta’ because it is blue. Percy likes it because of stereotypes.

In short: Nico gets therapy from Dionysus. In this chapter, Nico goes to the Jacksons’ house with something to tell Percy. The story is also on AO3 and FanFiction.net! And in Tumblr tags like Dionysus, Nico di Angelo, Percy Jackson etc!

This might be crazy: Chapter 58: Fanta Shokata

‘Sixteen already!’ Sally Jackson exclaimed as she let me into the apartment. ‘Unbelievable!’

‘Time flies,’ I snickered. She sighed. 

‘Wait here, I have something for you.’ She walked into her apartment. ‘Oh, but do come in! Percy will be here soon and Estelle is awake. Paul is just getting her dressed.’

I walked after her, into the living room. There were toys everywhere, which made it look smaller than it actually was. I had to push a few plush toys from an armchair before I could sit down. 

I stood up again a second later. ‘Do you need some help?’

‘No, just stay there!’

‘Are you sure…’ I walked closer to the kitchen. Sally looked into the living room. ‘My house, my rules, and I say you stay in the living room.’

‘Ah.’ I nodded and walked back to my chair. 

A moment later, the door opened and I got up once again. ‘Who…’

Percy barged into the living room, with his coat and shoes still on. ‘Nico! Good afternoon!’

‘Shoes off!’ Sally screamed, and he left once again. 

Percy just sat down (without his shoes) when Paul came down the stairs, with Estelle in his arms. She was curiously looking around. 

‘Nico!’ Paul greeted me. He waved one of Estelle’s arms around, which made her giggle. ‘Welcome!’

‘Yes, thanks, hello to you, too.’

‘So, how was your trip?’

Before I could answer Sally came into the room, with a giant chocolate cake. 

Percy tried to hide his excitement and failed miserably. Estelle cooed and stuck out her hands. ‘Doesn’t that look nice, Estelle?’ Paul muttered to her, while bouncing her on his leg. 

Sally looked at me. ‘What do you think?’

I looked at it with my mouth open. ‘It looks so pretty…’

‘Well, thanks!’ She smiled wide and put the cake on the coffeetable. ‘Of course, I did not want to overwhelm you, you did not come here for a birthday party, but you did turn sixteen, which is such an age, so…’

Percy sighed. ‘Mom…’

‘I love it, Sally, thanks a lot,’ I said, with a little smile. 

Percy rolled his eyes, which got him a strict look from his mother. He quickly looked back at the table. 

‘Yet, there was something you wanted to tell me. That’s why you came here,’ Percy said, while Sally began cutting the cake. 

‘Eh, yeah.’

‘Eh… yeah, maybe we can first eat cake?’

‘Good idea.’ Sally shrugged and cut off four pieces. She put the largest piece on my plate. ‘He needs to grow,’ she explained, before handing it to me. 

Percy slowly nodded, a little sad. I felt bad. He needed to grow as well, eighteen or not.  

I didn’t feel bad enough to give up my cake. I needed it more. Sally gave me a fork and I shoved a big chunk into my mouth. It was good - not that I had expected anything else. Sally Jackson could probably make cooked rat taste good. 

I took another bite, and then another one, until Percy stood up. I lowered my plate. He walked into the kitchen and came back with a jumbo bottle of Fanta Shokata, better known as blue fanta. 

‘Anybody want some?’ He looked around the group. 

Paul shook his head. He was feeding Estelle a few tiny chunks of cake, which she seemed to like. 

Sally rolled her eyes, but I shrugged and nodded. ‘Sure.’ Dionysus had given me so much weird stuff to drink last year, I could probably take blue fanta.

He handed me a glass and I took a sip. ‘This tastes better than I thought.’

‘It’s amazing.’ Percy looked at his cup like it was the best thing in the world, even though his mothers’ cake was right there.

‘It’s… alright,’ I said again. I took another sip, before putting my cup down and taking another bite of cake. I looked at Sally, who winked at me. Yeah. She knew I liked her food better.

‘Do you feel sixteen already?’ Sally asked, when I was almost done with my cake. 

I put down my fork and shrugged. ‘I don’t know if I am supposed to feel a certain way,’ I admitted. ‘I still feel like some guy.’

Percy slowly nodded. ‘Yeah, that doesn’t really change in a day.’

‘I mean, technically, for you it did.’ 

He shook his head. ‘Nah. You might think so, but really, I was still Percy. It is not like I was suddenly a way better person. I was still me, I was still a dumb kid, I was still unsure of my life.’ He sniffed. ‘Yeah.’

I nodded. ‘Yeah.’ Although I could not totally agree. Percy wasn’t some normal dude, even if he wanted too.

Yet, of course he didn’t want people to think that. What did it make him feel that people saw him as a massiah? 

Dionysus would probably say I should not worry about someone else right now. Maybe he was right. I had enough time to talk to Percy later. 

‘Yeah, I understand,’ I said again. ‘Can I have another slice of cake?’

I got another slice of cake and so did Percy. After that, he got up. ‘Okay, now…’

He tilted his head and did not go on. ‘Mom…’

‘Oh, did I forget to tell you?’

‘Forget to tell me what?’ Percy looked at her. 

‘Gods. Two kids and I forget everything. Today one of the staff members from Camp Halfblood had to come bless the house again, because of the sanctum.’

‘The sanctum?’ I looked at Sally.

Percy answered: ‘Our house is a sanctum for demigods on the run. Every once in a while, someone has to come bless it, so the monsters can’t find it.’

‘There is only one person in our camp who can bless things.’

‘Indeed.’ Percy nodded towards the hallway. ‘That is why we are taking the fire exit out of here.’

‘Percy…’ 

‘It’s okay, mom.’

Sally sighed, while she looked at me and shook her head. I smiled. 

‘Let’s go, then,’ I told Percy, while we walked to the hallway. 

‘Thanks for the cake, Sally!’ I yelled over my shoulder. ‘We’ll be back soon!’

‘Of course, of course! Bye bye!’

Percy threw me my shoes before he put on his own. I grabbed our coats and we bolted upstairs, to Percy’s room.

‘He’s there, right?’

‘Totally,’ he answered, while we stepped onto the fire exit. ‘Yet, we aren’t. I actually took two cans of Blue water, it is all blue, it is nice, and we’ll drink it while talking. Now, what did you want to talk about?’

A/N: Continuing this story in the next chapter! 

Also it was cannon Percy had an entrance to the fire exit stairs in his room right? I think they said so in Battle Of The Labyrinth.

[deliverydefresas]

moving step by step (together)

second and last thing i posted on wp that i haven't posted here ((i think)) feel free to ignore if you've read this on wattpad already, as i'm just posting it in case i need to refer to it later.

(not proofread. it never is)

prompt(?): domestic!simbar deciding to move in together (toanothercountry)

When her day began, she didn't imagine it'd end up the way it did. In fact, to Ámbar the day felt like an endless nightmare.

Between her washing machine breaking, one of her kitchen cloths accidentally catching on fire when she was making her breakfast, her car not starting and thus being late to her first class, forgetting an important paper at home and losing 1/5 of her grade for one of the toughest classes in her semester; Ámbar just wanted to call it a day and forget she even had to endure it.

"The professor told me he'd let me turn it the paper, as long as I added 10,000 words more; and hear this: he won't give me the 20% of the grade, but a 15%, tops." She still needed to get her laundry done, so she'd opted to come by Simón's loft (and Nico and Pedro's too) when her classes had ended. While she waited for it to be done, she'd grabbed a glass of wine while venting her boyfriend's ears off. "So now I need to find something to write about that's worth 1000 words of coherency, otherwise I'll be lucky to even have a 10%. And God knows I need it."

Simón kissed her head sympathetically, adjusting her head - previously leaning on his shoulder- a little bit closer to his neck. "You will, little gem. You're the smartest one in your class, I'm sure you'll find something and, it's penultimate semester, you can do it."

She groaned, "I wish it were as easy as that." He kissed her cheek this time, and she snuggled into him a bit more, needing his support to make her feel less stressed. "Enough of me, how was your day?"

He chuckled, "not as interesting as yours, I'm afraid. Did a little songwriting, had a video-call with a magazine, changed my sheets..." he winked at her, making her laugh.

"Aw, do you want me to give you a gold start? Maybe I should call your mom, tell her her little boy is a nice young man who makes his own bed." Simón leaned in to bite her cheek, causing her to and almost spill her wine all over the couch, and to prevent this, the red liquid ended up on her shirt. Technically, it was one of his, since today's clothes had been thrown in the washer with the rest of the laundry, but still, spilling wine on her clothes wasn't nice. "Simón!" she scoffed him, which only made him laugh at her. He told her to grab another of his old shirts, while he refilled her glass.

She stood up then, cursing him all the way to his room to grab one of the 'pajama' shirts he kept in his top drawer. Ámbar heard him call to her once she had put it on; "hey, is tacos okay with you for dinner? Or do you want me to order you something else?"

"What are the guys having?" she questioned, to prepare herself in case the others ordered less than what their stomachs wanted to eat, and later lead them to steal her food.

"Pedro's staying at Delfi's and Nico is out with his fling, so nothing." Simón answered her, entering his room with his cellphone at hand.

"Then the usual." She told him simply, her boyfriend nodded. "Hey, can I use your laptop to check my e-mail? My phone died."

Simón nodded again. "Sure. Hello? I would like to order two pastor gringas..." he left the room again, not before pointing at his desk, where his laptop was sitting on. She quickly turned it on, taking it to the living room to wait for Simón to finish the call.

Her boyfriend was one of those people who didn't put a password on the device itself, but on the archives in it (which were mostly lyrics, tracks, and unreleased songs), so it didn't take long until she had the browser opened.

Ámbar tried to ignore whatever Simón had open in his last tab, but the images displayed caught her attention.

No, it wasn't porn, nor was it anything compromising. At least not in that way.

Her boyfriend had a Real Estate website open, showing apartments in sale. However, that wasn't what surprised her – he'd talked about finding his own place before-, but that all the options listed Mexico City as their location.

He'd never mentioned moving back to Mexico. They'd planned vacations to his hometown Cancún, sure, but somehow in all their talks about the future she'd had assumed their plans took place in Buenos Aires, close to her family instead of his. She could deal with him going on tour for weeks – she didn't bear months as well as she did weeks, and for this he always flew her in- but to live in two different countries? How was their relationship supposed to work in that scenario? Would it even work out? Sure, she was almost over with her degree, but-

"Little gem," her eyes snapped from the screen to where Simón was standing, by the kitchen's door, "I ordered you an almond horchata, is that okay?" she kept staring at him. "What? Is my laptop giving you problems? Your mail?"

She sighed. "No, I actually haven't opened my mail yet." He gave her a confused look.

"Then what's it? You've been staring at the screen for at least two minutes."

"When were you planning on telling me you're moving to Mexico?"

His mouth shut, his eyes showed surprise and an underlying regret. "Uh... soon?"

"So it's true, then? You're moving there?" Ámbar didn't want her voice to sound as hurt as it did, but she couldn't conceal it, either. After all, this was her boyfriend, the guy she was in love with, and who she'd loved for years now... to imagine him living so far away from her, it hurt her deeply.

To find out like this, instead of from his own mouth, was like salt to the wound. Her already shitty day was turning for the worse.

Simón sighed, his demeanor showing he was ashamed of it. "It's an option." He pursed his lips slightly, walking over to the couch, taking the device off her lap to turn her body towards him. "I was planning on talking to you about this sooner than later, I promise."

"When? When you had already bought it? Or when I had to say goodbye at the airport?" she couldn't help but dab at him, her temper was talking for her right then, "and what do you mean with 'it's an option'? You're looking for a place already, surely it's more than simple 'option'."

Simón let out a sigh, a sign he wasn't sure how to explain it to her, "I- have you noticed how most of our label meetings have been taking place in México?" She nodded, it was hard not to. The boys and him didn't really leave the city unless they absolutely had to, which could be summed up in three reasons: touring, vacations, and meetings. She'd always frown a little when those meetings took place, because she couldn't really understand why they had to leave when their label had offices in BsAs, but never really dared to ask Simón, afraid she'd come out as clingy for not wanting him to leave her for a couple days.

"I just assumed all the 'important' people chose to meet there instead of flying down here."

He scratched his nape. "It's a little bigger than that. Their HQ has always been up there, and their offices here have worked on a smaller scale for years; however, they've wanted all their more... 'recognizable' artists to be closer for a while now."

"So, they're making you move there?"

"Yes and no. They've been nagging us since the beginning to move to Mexico City, but it's only now we've – well, I've- considered it as an option."

"Why? Don't Pedro and Nico want, too?"

Simón grimaced. "They've already been considering it for a couple of years." Oh. Now that she thought about it, Delfina had hinted multiple times over the months 'the possibility' of working in another country. She'd always assumed she meant taking international jobs for a short period while Pedro was out on tour too, but now she guessed she'd meant for her to imagine that possibility, too.

It seemed like she'd assumed lots of things, and it stung to know she'd been in the dark far longer than everyone else. Even Delfi – who'd been dating Pedro a considerably less time than she'd been with Simón- knew of this before her.

Which made her ask him once again. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because you're still in uni, little gem, and I didn't want to move somewhere else while you were here; I still don't. I had a plan, honestly; I was going to wait until you neared graduation to slowly get you used to the idea, and, well, I also wanted to wait in case we didn't work out." She pursed her lips as she was still mad, but knew he had a point. He always did.

"You could've talked to me sooner, though. We could've planned this way sooner, make it easier for both." Ámbar sighed out, trying to get her anger out with it.

"I know, I get it now, and I'm very sorry." He apologized sincerely, grabbing one of her hands to kiss it. "This in no way is me telling you I'm moving tomorrow and leaving you here, little gem, I'd never do that. Hell, I don't even think I could. It's just..."

"An option." She finished for him, sighing again. "I guess I- I don't know, maybe I could start looking at internships in CDMX? When- when would this take place anyway? And I have to talk to my mo-" her eyes widened, "God, my mom! What do I tell her if we go? She'll be all alone here!" Her voice sounded panicky even to her.

"Hey, it's okay, there's no hurry. We've already postponed this for years with the boys, another year or so won't change anything, in fact, we'll need all we can get to get papers and stuff in check. And your mom can always come with us if you're worried about her, no biggie." He told her, as if the three of them moving countries wasn't a big deal, or, y'know, extremely expensive.

"Do you seriously want my mom living with us, Simón?" she snapped at him, and immediately felt bad to do so. He was just trying to help her and then here she was, bitching on his offers. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just... overwhelmed, sorry." He shrugged it off.

"I was actually thinking of you two getting your own apartment but since you're oh so kindly offering to live together..." Her eyes widened once more, shocked. She hadn't realized she'd implied that. "... I guess we can either buy or rent one for ourselves and rent another for your mom."

"That's not what- I mean it's not necessary. An apartment for my mom and I would be okay if she even agrees to move."

Her boyfriend started pouting. "Are you saying you don't want to move in with me?"

"No, no, that's not what I mean-" she stopped talking once she saw a teasing grin on his face. "You're messing with me."

He shook his head, silently laughing as he reached out to sit her on his lap, hugging her waist tightly. "I'm not. I'm actually happy you asked me to move with you, so I don't have to when the time comes."

"I didn't ask you." She felt the need to point it out. "You just assumed I did."

"Because you assumed we'd live together. It's okay; if it were up to me I'd be living with you in a heartbeat, I've thought about it for a while."

She gulped. "You have?"

"Yeah, but since I'm living with two dudes and you're living with your mom... it just isn't viable." That got her thinking.

"Why haven't you gotten your own apartment yet? Any of you?"

Simón shrugged, leaning into their coffee table to grab their glasses. "Rent is cheaper when you divide into three, and all of us have been saving up to get our own pads for when we moved to CDMX."

"It was never a matter of 'if', was it? It was always a 'when' you moved." She already knew the answer, of course, so she didn't wait for him to answer. "What took you so long to do so? I'm sure you could've done so years ago, and now you're waiting for Delfi and I, I guess, but before? What held you back?"

He pondered it for a minute, didn't speak immediately. "Something always came up. At first, we didn't have enough money saved, then Nico's mom had an accident, Pedro wanting to stay until his little sister finished high school... then you. My guess is the universe was waiting for us to meet to let me leave the city." She couldn't help but laugh at this.

"You're such a corny guy."

"Only for you, little gem, only for you." Ámbar took a sip of her wine before snuggling closer to his chest, earning her a kiss on her hair. "So, are we doing this?"

She pushed the anxiety of the unknown to the back of her mind, she knew that if she overthought about it she'd find reasons not to. Instead, she took a deep breath, intoxicating herself with the smell of soap and lotion that lingered on her boyfriend all the time.

"Yeah," she sighed, "but we're doing this together."

"Together," he repeated, giving her hand another kiss. "I like the sound of that."

[glassesandkim]

I hope we get something about Levi's mom this season. Even if it's just one sentence I want to know if he's talking to her or not. They left on pretty shaky ground and it's been what two-three months in grey's time? I want to know how Levi is doing and I want to know about his dad. I want Levi to have a dad.

Here, friend. I wrote something! You can read it here or on ao3. 

It’s not even morning rounds yet and Levi has already had to call time of death.

It’s in these moments that he doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. He doesn’t know if he’s a doctor or just a guy collecting deaths on his wrist. Even when he closes his eyes, he sees the red flash of alarms on monitors and hears the incessant drone of hearts flatlining.

Yesterday, it was three. The day before, it looked hopeful at just one death. Today? He doesn’t know. He really doesn’t know.

“Schmitt!” 

It’s bed sixteen: Claudia Walton. Grey’s there, already doing chest compressions. He grabs the laryngoscope and tube that’s already being handed to him by a nurse. He can hardly see into her airway. It’s so swollen that he throws the tube on the floor and is immediately given a smaller one. 

They’ve done this so many times. Nobody really has to say anything. They know the flow, the pace. Adrenaline takes over and there’s only one goal in all of their minds.

“Time of death, 7:27,” he breathes out, his breath is hot in his mask and gets trapped beneath it. Grey is gone in a flurry of yellow and blue. The nurses and PCTs start cleaning up around him. 

He’s so tired.

It’s three in the afternoon when he finally gets to go for lunch. They’re only allowed to sit two at a table and Levi, in an exhausted daze, almost forgets to take off his mask when he tries to take a bite out of his sandwich.

He sees a flash of someone familiar through the cafeteria doors. Fluffy hair atop of golden skin and broad shoulders in dark blue scrubs. He swallows hard, catching a much needed breath. 

Suddenly, his shift is over but he’s still running a code and another starts just as Grey begins bagging. He jumps across the hospital floor towards the symphony of alarms and beeps. His tired, urgent voice joins in amongst the noise.

He loses the seventh patient of the day an hour after he’s supposed to be off. 

“Go home, Schmitt,” Grey says and all but pushes him out the doors of the Covid ward. Her eyes are red-rimmed and her breath fogs up inside her headgear.

Levi doesn’t remember how he makes it to the resident’s lounge. Or when he passes out on the couch. His mask is riding halfway up across his face and that’s when he remembers Ms. Walton’s laugh just the other day. She was so nice and so warm. She asked him how he was, made him promise to stay safe and to eat, even between coughs and tired sighs. She was alive yesterday. Now she’s dead.

“Hey.”

Nico’s leaning against the doorway, hands in his pockets. And Levi just about wants to run to him and jump on him, rip that damn mask off and kiss Nico’s mouth.

But Levi only replies back, “Hi.”

They do it in the bathroom. Levi’s head resting against Nico’s shoulder. One hand gripping tight around his bicep and the other tugging at the hair at the nape of Nico’s neck. It’s getting long and it covers his eyes. So when Levi lifts his head to watch Nico, just as he slides his own hand underneath the waistband of Nico’s pants, all Levi sees is nothing but hair and mask.

He hasn’t kissed Nico in weeks.

There are a lot of things he hasn’t done since the world turned upside down. Like go to the dentist despite the ache in the back of his mouth. Or grab takeout from the sharwma place down the street because that business is closed and probably gone forever. Or, what he really really wants is to go see his mom.

Levi really can’t believe he hasn’t seen her since — 

“What’s wrong?” Nico’s voice is soft and comes from far away. 

He’s really thinking about his mom right before sex. Normally, he would be slamming his head against the wall, trying to stop this obscene train of thought, but nothing’s normal. And it’s the first time in eighteen hours that he’s had a moment to actually think. And goddamnit, in this moment, he misses his crazy mom who has probably been hoarding bagels and fighting people over jugs of hand sanitizer. His mom who calls him everyday and who is almost always met with his voicemail because he’s too busy, too tired, too whatever. His mother who raised him, clothed him, fed him and loves him and who he left because she couldn’t see that existing as who he is, meant existing beyond his little room in the basement. 

Despite all that, he misses his ima so much.

His chest hurts as he takes a couple of deep breaths. Nico looks concerned now, brows knitted underneath his messy bangs. Levi feels a hand come up to touch his cheek. It’s Ms. Walton’s, her laugh sings prettily in his ear and he swears he’s not running a code, but the page is going and it’s his two hundredth death of the day. Chest compressions! Chest compressions! Chest compressions! He’s been doing so many his arms have become jello. He can’t do it anymore. He’s so tired. He’s so so tired. 

“Levi?” Nico calls him again, and ah -- what? They’re back in the bathroom now, but Levi’s trying hard to focus on breathing — in, out — in, out — in — in —

The next thing he knows, he’s on the cold floor in Nico’s arms, back pressed flushed against the other’s chest. His mask is on the floor in front of them and Nico’s whispering things like “You’re fine, Levi. Breathe. That’s it. Good. You’re doing great. You’re fine. You’re okay.”

Fuck, shit, goddamnit! He wants to say all of that but breathing seems to be the only thing he can do right now.

It takes a bit but eventually, Levi feels like he’s back inside of his own body again. Although, it feels incredibly heavy and useless so it’s a good thing Nico is strong and lifts him up to his feet easily enough. 

Nico guides him back to the couch and thank god the lounge is still empty. He forces Levi to lie down and slides a cushion under his head and kneels beside him. The same, warm and steady hand comes back to hold his face again and this time, Levi knows it’s Nico’s. His other hands takes Levi’s pulse on his neck. He sees Nico’s mask is gone too, his face a sight Levi’s been craving. 

But he can’t stand the way Nico is looking at him, all worried and sad, like Levi’s going to breakdown, even though he just did. He hates that.

"Hey,” Levi says, trying and watching Nico. "At least this time, I didn’t faint in an OR.” 

Nico stares for a moment, his thumb pauses under Levi’s eye, and then he chuckles, shaking his head, eyes crinkling. Levi missed this. 

They stay like that for a while, not talking. His eyes closed and counting each breath that comes out. Levi greedily drinks in Nico’s warm touch. 

“How many today?” Nico’s voice is quiet.

Levi opens his eyes, makes to say the number, but something catches in his throat. Ms. Walton was the worst one.

“One of them reminded me of my mom,” Levi manages to say this in a whisper.

Nico frowns. “And is she—?”

“Dead.”

A pause. "I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

He wants to call his mom. Even his aunts and his uncles. His cousins and their kids. Hell, if he could call his father, he would. But the guy left him and his mom when he was a kid. Yet Levi would still want him to be okay. To be safe. To be healthy.

Nico hasn’t stopped touching his face, holding his cheek and rubbing the space between his cheek and his ear. The skin there revels with heat. 

Maybe Levi’s a little angry. Angry at the world, at the pandemic. Angry that his mother tried to hide his being gay from the world. Angry that the fear of the disease is so big, it eats him up whole every time a new case comes in. And he’s angry that he’s alone and Nico is supposed to be nothing even though he’s right in front of Levi, being there for him, holding him, smiling. Like this could be a thing, more than just stress relief. And now he’s angry he’s being hopeful when he knows he shouldn’t be. 

He loved Nico. He still does. Levi loves Nico. 

Nico looks like he wants to say more. Levi swears he sees something shining, threatening to escape in Nico’s eyes. His lips parted and his expression open and soft. For a moment, Levi thinks it might happen. He doesn’t know what Nico might say but he’ll listen. He hopes Nico knows that he’ll always listen. 

He can’t help but grab Nico’s hand in his. But then Nico’s gaze hardens again and their hands fall apart.

“Do you need anything else?” Nico asks, standing up and looking away from him.

Levi sits up and tries to hide his disappointment. “Maybe you could just forget that that happened? I’ve got enough things to be embarrassed about.” He adds on when Nico smiles, “No, I’m all right.” “Okay.” Nico doesn’t even hesitate when he turns towards the door, putting his mask back on.

“Are you?” Levi blurts out, not ready for him to leave just yet. “Are you okay, Nico?”

Nico stops. And Levi wants him to look back, wants to see him, but Nico doesn’t.

"I’m fine, Levi.”

And then he’s alone again.

[aion-rsa]

Why Tom Holland Was Terrified of Playing a Bank Robber in Cherry

https://ift.tt/3aIcnLv

All of a sudden Tom Holland is everywhere. He’s got two movies out right now–the sci-fi thriller Chaos Walking and the drug/crime drama Cherry–and the latter is making its premiere on Apple TV+ this weekend after a limited run in theaters. He also recently wrapped production on the long-developing adaptation of the Uncharted video game franchise, and he’s currently working with director Jon Watts again on their third standalone Spider-Man adventure together, Spider-Man: No Way Home.

In Cherry, based on the best-selling semi-autobiographical novel by Nico Walker, Holland stars as the title character, a young Cleveland man who joins the Army after his girlfriend (Ciara Bravo) announces she is going away to college. He returns home from Iraq with PTSD, develops an opioid addiction, and eventually turns to bank robbery to support his habit.

The often harrowing film is directed by Anthony and Joe Russo, making it the first motion picture directed by the Cleveland-born brothers since 2019’s Avengers: Endgame. Cherry marks Holland’s fourth collaboration with the Russos, following Endgame, Captain America: Civil War (2016), and Avengers: Infinity War (2018), but his first time working with them without a superhero costume.

Cherry is also one of two recent movies, the other being last year’s grim The Devil All The Time, in which the British actor steps away from his generally sunny, innocent demeanor to take on a darker, more tormented character. We touched on that, working with the Russos, researching the world of addiction, and more–including little nuggets on No Way Home and Uncharted–when we hopped on Zoom recently with the young Mr. Holland.

Den of Geek: What did you respond to in the character of Cherry, as well as the script? What was your emotional and visceral response to his story?

Tom Holland: I think my initial response was that I was terrified of the idea of playing this character. It’s the type of role I’ve definitely never done before, and I was a little sort of apprehensive and questioned whether I could do it. Knowing that the Russo brothers were going to be there to support me through the job is what kind of tipped me over the edge into saying yes. But my initial response was, “I don’t think I’m the right person for this job because I don’t know if I can do that.”

You probably had a level of trust established with the Russos from working on the three Marvel pictures you did together. Did that make you feel comfortable right away?

Yeah. Absolutely. Still, I had that element of awe when it came to the Russos because they were the directors of the Avengers films, and I was still very much the new kid on the block when I was making those films. It was really nice for me to get to know them both on a more personal level and, obviously, that level of trust grew as the film progressed. It grew and it grew and it grew, and it’s now to the point where Joe and Anthony could ring me up, and I would be on set for them in a heartbeat. The trust between the three of us definitely grew.

How is their style of directing different on this? Was there more of a personal rapport because of the fact that they’re not dealing with the same kind of visual effects as in the Marvel movies or servicing 50 different characters?

I felt a little spoiled to be honest, because I was getting their utmost attention. But I mean, their direction style didn’t change in the way that they spoke to people, in the way that they addressed people, in the way that they treated people on set. But the style in which they would use the camera or the way they would get you to portray or work in a certain scene is very different because, obviously, it’s a very different type of film.

But from a logistical standpoint of how they made the film, they were basically the same two guys, just having fun. It’s nice to see two people who are so in love with cinema just having a good old play and figuring it out as they go along.

Was it interesting and maybe refreshing for you to do a film where you’re not in the Spider-Man suit for so much of the movie, and you’re not acting against a green screen?

Absolutely. Working on green screen and blue screens and wearing a spandex Spider-Man suit is amazing, and it’s awesome and I love it, but there’s something freeing about everything on set is what is in the shot, what is in the story. I don’t have to imagine anything, because everything is a tangible asset and is right there in front of me. It’s a different process, and I love both equally. But it was nice to kind of have a change of pace and dive into something a little bit smaller.

How was it working with Ciara on her first feature film? Was it easy to establish the rapport with her?

We were so lucky with Ciara. I remember when I watched her audition tape, when the boys had cast her, and they sent it to me just to say, “By the way, this is the girl who’s going to play Emily,” for the first time in my career, I was so intimidated. She just has this gravitas that she brought to the character in her take that was so amazing.

I was really excited to work with her and I was really happy when I found out that her and I were very similar and had a lot in common. We became very, very good friends, which was so valuable for us, because this film was such a difficult film to make, physically and emotionally. The fact that we got along so well meant that we could help each other through the process. She was like my emotional support person, and I was hers, and it was great. We were a little team.

Do you take a role like this, or something like The Devil All the Time, knowing that these are going to not just challenge you as an actor, but show a whole different side of you to an audience that maybe only knows you as Spider-Man?

I love playing Spider-Man, and I think it comes with its own set of challenges. I think sometimes people overlook that superhero films do require performance, a character arc, building up a backstory, an objective of where you want to go. It’s just these films are very different. They’re very different in style, but they’re not very different in the way that you make them. The process of making a film is pretty similar. They just spend less money, and it’s less blue screen. But, yeah. I enjoyed the sort of creative freedom of making a film a little bit darker.

Read more

TV

Marvel’s WandaVision and What’s Next for the MCU

By Jim Dandy

TV

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Season 2 Is Unlikely, Anthony Mackie Confirms

By Alec Bojalad

Did you get to meet and talk with Nico Walker? I know you did meet with some people with addiction problems, as well as some veterans.

I’ve never actually met with Nico. We were supposed to meet a few weeks ago, but for some reason, our schedules kind of got a bit jumbled up, and we couldn’t get together. But I hope to meet him. He’s obviously the one person that I’m really nervous about watching the film, because we took a portion of his life, and we turned it into this piece of art, and I hope it’s something that he likes.

But we did loads of research when it came to speaking to veterans and people suffering from PTSD and substance abuse, and it was so valuable in the making of this film, because I couldn’t have made this an authentic experience for the audience without having that information from those people. I’m very grateful that the men and women I spoke to were very open to talk about the things that they’d been through, which were sometimes very harrowing.

What did you learn that maybe you hadn’t known before and were able to apply to the part?

Wow. I could go on and on. I think one of the biggest things for me that helped drive a lot of the motivation in the scene was that once you’re hooked on heroin, all you can think about is getting more heroin. It was a really good kind of catalyst to tell these stories authentically. I think that was one of the most valuable things I took away from my research.

What was the most physically challenging aspect of the shoot?

The most physically demanding portion of the film was dope life, when I was losing all the weight, and I was skinny, and I was having to starve myself. And robbing the banks was tiring, because I was so weak from being so skinny and frail, I guess. So that would easily be the more physically demanding aspect of the film.

Apple TV+

You also play this character as he ages over 15 years. Is it fair to say this is the first time you’ve actually played a character who’s aged over that kind of span of time?

Absolutely. On The Lost City of Z, a James Gray film I did, there was quite a large progression in age, but I was no way the lead of that film. A lot of my stuff sort of happened off camera. Obviously in Cherry, you are with this character from the beginning to the end. That meant that I had to do a lot of the growing on screen, and it was difficult. It was tricky, because trying to play older, to me, felt very fake. That’s where I was so lucky to have my amazing makeup artist, Rachael Speke. She did a wonderful job of aging me up throughout the course of the film.

It was difficult, and I just had to trust the Russos and that they knew what they wanted and they were happy with what they were getting. But it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to do.

Is that something that you would like to apply to other characters? As you continue to play Spider-Man, would you like to see him age a little more noticeably, if it’s appropriate?

Yeah. Peter Parker is a character that everyone knows and loves. It would be really interesting to sort of find a side to him that people haven’t seen before. Whether or not we do that, I don’t know.

What can you say about Spider-Man: No Way Home in terms of how it expands the MCU and how it evolves Peter’s character?

Well, there’s not really much I can say, obviously. What I can say is that I’m having the time of my life making it. It’s so fun being back with Jacob [Batalon] and Zendaya, and [director] Jon Watts. The film is incredibly ambitious, and I’m delighted to say that we’re succeeding in making it. It’s going really well. We watched a fight scene that we had shot a few weeks ago, and I’ve never seen a fight scene quite like it in the MCU. I’m really excited for audiences to see that.

You also just recently wrapped Uncharted. What do you think people will see in that if they’re not fans of the video game?

Well, an interesting idea and one that I really think lends itself to our film, is that when you watch a video game film–if you’re a fan of the games–I often wonder, “Why would you watch the film?” Because it’s less immersive. You can go and be that character. Why would I just want to watch that character?

But what we’ve got is we’re telling the prequel story of how the character, Nathan Drake, became this worldwide known character. For the fans that love the games, they’re getting an aspect of the story that they’ve never seen before. And the people that haven’t played the games are getting a really nice introduction to a character. It kind of works for everyone.

It’s a really fun film, and the action is amazing, easily some of the coolest action I’ve done so far. I had a lovely chat with Tom Rothman, the chairman of Sony, he saw the film, and he’s over the moon with it. If the boss man is happy, then everyone is happy. We’re really good.

Cherry premieres on Apple TV+ on Friday, March 12.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post Why Tom Holland Was Terrified of Playing a Bank Robber in Cherry appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3exlZMQ