#i feel literally physically ill | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

none-gender-left-man · 1 year

Text

I am very not okay ngl yall

#my job was already sucking the life out of me #Mike was the thing helping me get by and now hes locked up over something ridiculous bc god forbid a brown man not be a pushover #his white mother and white passing sister dont even try to conceal their biases #he doesn't fucking deserve this shit and i dont know what to do because he was NOT in the wrong here but the law is broken #and this is Oklahoma so of course the obvious mexican indigenous brown man is easy to sell as an aggressor #he needs away from these people and i was literally just about to help him distance himself from them when they pulled this #his mother is the source though his sister only makes it worse and is the one who called the pigs on him #vent #im gonna go to the courthouse on monday and see wtf is up #i promised him god damn it #i feel literally physically ill #this man has been tormented by these people for years and he wants to grow and get out of their grasp just in time for them to punish him

0 notes

moeblob · 3 months

Text

A lil guy !

#honkai star rail #dan heng #genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy #so dan heng in a hoodie #now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw #but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today #since shes been in the hospital for many many days #so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos #and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good #and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner #and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool #and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those #are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email #and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct #then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way #but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now #so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv #while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now #on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it #and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once #this is literally a personalized attack to me #and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie #and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening #and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down #that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this #and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!

261 notes · View notes

brethilach · 2 months

Text

I'm kinda scared to post this but it feels really bad being an actual schizophrenic person and looking at how people treat Thorin and talk about his "goldsickness" as if it's a moral failing. It hurts especially when people say or imply that his (psychosis-induced) actions wouldn't or shouldn't be forgiven by any of his family, friends, or his people and he wouldn't be accepted as King even if/when they discovered he only acted the way he did because he was just... y'know. mentally ill. Temporarily, at that! Because it was caused by a factor that can be permanently removed (the Arkenstone, I mean. It's painfully clear that the Arkenstone was the cause of it in the movies' canon)

"Oh, maybe his SICKNESS was caused by a magic jewel that is clearly cursed somehow, but it was still HIS fault that he was INSANE (never mind that he was actively delusional and hallucinating). He still loved and trusted Bilbo in the throes of his MADNESS, so it MUST have been a true reflection of his SELFISH DESIRE and GREED." This is how some of you sound.

It's even worse when people do the same thing to Frodo (even though both the book and movies depict him having delusions and hallucinations/visions akin to hallucinations, on top of all the other horrific things happening to him). "haha Frodo almost dies a dozen times and everyone else does all the heavy lifting just for him to STILL fail at the end. Sam was the TRUE hero of the story because Frodo was a useless whiny sad-sack and would have accomplished NOTHING without him" fuck you fuck you fuck you

I don't know where else to go with this. It just makes me question how some of you would treat me if you met me or knew what I experience on a day to day basis. It feels bad

#I don't think making Thorin experience psychosis is a problem in and of itself. it's just the way people do it #I find some jokes about it funny but it bothers me when people say he could've just “snapped out of it” at any time by sheer will #or their idea of “intervention” is stern scolding or physical force from his loved ones. or worse... Bilbo SEDUCING him out of it :/#instead of like. y'know. just taking care of him and taking away whatever might be causing it (the Arkenstone in this case)#and surprise! that's exactly what Bilbo does in the movie (and yeah Thorin was mad about initially. but he was better almost immediately)#and then some fanfic writers have the audacity to portray Thorin's illness into a permanent character trait. or worse. turn it into a KINK #it makes me feel sick #none of this is to say Thorin ISN'T responsible for what harm he caused #but it's MUCH different when someone literally doesn't know what's real and what isn't #my post #text post #the hobbit #battle of five armies #lotr #lord of the rings #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #bagginshield #frodo baggins #actually schizophrenic

126 notes · View notes

stiffyck · 8 months

Text

I think I already talked about this and I've seen others mention it but it's been on my mind again:

Is it weird that grian is usually drawn looking like a teenager or just a kid in general while the others look like adults

#stiff talk #ive been thinking about this #and it so fucking weird #ill see art that look absolutely beautiful and then grian just? looks like a literal child? while all the others look like adults????#so its not an issue of style or whatever #idk i find it really weird #what is it aboht grian that makes people physically unable to draw him as an adult- /silly #i could also talk about the fact that grian. the one whos shown as a kid and who has a pretty high voice. is the one whos usually portrayed-#-as transmasc #which dont get me wrong i like trans grian #but it kinda feels like? why is grian the only one who youre able to hc as trans????#idk #maybe im just being too bitchy aboht this but its been kinda bothering me DJCJDKFK

106 notes · View notes

aprilmr · 1 year

Text

Went to visit my grandma for a week, didn't take my sketchbook with me because I didn't want to pack much. Got restless on day 5 and bought some paper and pencils in the end. Anyways, here's a sketch of Rowan.

#when will i be free from the shackles of art???? (never)#i literally physically feel bad if i haven't drawn for long. some sort of inner itch #probably just mental illness ☺️ teehee #shut up april #when i get back i will clean and color it. don't forget

366 notes · View notes

mogcubed · 2 months

Text

i think i’ve seen practically every single piece of content related to flowey the motherfucking flower on this app and it’s not enough. my brain hungers for more. why is this.

does anyone know what condition this is? should i see a doctor? is there a cure? please help????

#flowey #flowey the flower #utdr #undertale #flowey my beloved i hate him so much #he makes me physically ill #flowery #it’s like he’s in my brain #is he in my brain?#flowey undertale #what if i launched him into the sun what then #when you’ve been wronged by the world and brought back against your will and you feel no connection to your former self #and you see the tragedy your death has caused and there’s no going back #and slowly but surely you lose any aspect of humanity and love you once had #and when you’ve cheated death life is now a game and literally nothing you do matters because you can just reset it all #he’s a little shit

41 notes · View notes

teakoodrawz · 4 months

Text

" I'm a Psycho, loving it~ "

#[album]#ask to tag #cw #Music Shot #S-2 #also i just wanna mess with its expressions and poses cuz it's fun #he can turn the black face into a screenface. changing any shapes and expressions as it pleases #horror. realistic eyes. tv static. etc but he prefers the original triangle smiles more #also i'm planning to redesign S-2 right now #S-2 focuses only on killing / violence to gain LV and he's stuck that way and called it a purpose to wipe out population #He got so focus on gaining LV because it made him feel so powerful and wanted more feeling like it's the only thing that made him feel aliv #i'm okay to spoil his story and all. He's made out of human determination in Mark's body and became a split personality to him #that's why S-2 and Mark are both corrupted because they're still not compatible to each other in one body #instead of being unstable in physical form. his mind is. because Gaster used a different formula but failed again #Gaster was trying to cure Mark because he was really ill and about to die #I only took the references/theories from the original undertale amalgamation obviously #S-2 was formed from Mark's own negative emotions and personalities then it became its own character #which causes the two (or Mark or S-2 themselves) to self-loathe with each other #it's literally like looking in a window as a mirror talking shit to each other #The real good Mark in this au is Mark himself. he just needs to be set free from this misery (and need to get rid of S-2 if possible)#that's why in my old Mark death posts. S-2 was gone from self-forgiveness meaning Mark forgives himself and deserves to be happy #(because everyone don't deserve to hate themselves)#i'm gonna keep the left eye joke not being available when doing the horror screenface cuz still wanna make it a Mark thing to him #cw horror #cw eye contact

50 notes · View notes

caorannn · 3 months

Text

Do you ever just love a character so much that you get physically nauseous thinking about them getting hurt or being sad or are you normal

30 notes · View notes

voidxbrat · 2 years

Text

It's honestly depressing how quickly and easily your (abled) family and friends will leave you behind and forget about you when you can no longer push yourself to try to keep up with them. I hate how focused everything is on going out and doing things when it comes to hanging out with so many people. It's sad how many people would rather just continue on with their busy, typical/abled life and forget about the disabled people in their life, rather than stop and slow down with them once in a while.

497 notes · View notes

plulp · 1 year

Text

robin

#my art #dol #robin the orphan #captions are so hard dude how does anyone expect me to live like this #i think hes so clammy. physically #i think hes so fucking sweaty #i just know it #i was thinking about making ky/////lar sweaty but i really want robin to be sweaty just for fun #censored because i dont want him in the wrong tag :(#sorry im probably spamming the tags by now because of how FREQUENTLY im posting (literally crazy)#feel free to block me if you dont like my art im really sorry im posting so much #ill be honest actually #robin is kinda just there to me #like i dont think theyre super interesting but i am willing to keep an open mind.#maybe one day ill break up with my LOVE and DARLING angel syd (i DO think he uses strawberry shampoo)#but not today #oh!! also i have asks/requests open if you want me to draw anyone #id like to draw some dol ocs (YOURS. 🫵) at some point #so maybe ill do that soon? i dont know yet

80 notes · View notes

unrelatabledude · 26 days

Text

#PASTEL B BROTHERS LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME. BTW #LIKE KOHAKU HIMERU DOUBLE UNIT #LIKE THIS EVENT IS LITERALLY FOR ME ACTUALLY #BUT EVERYTIME I SEE THE KANAME STUFF I START TO FEEL #PHYSICALLY ILL #himeruposting #pax.txt #himeru

15 notes · View notes

s4pphic-sh3nan1gans · 8 months

Text

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT KRIS ACTUALLY MODELLED FOR DAMON?!?!?!?!

PASSPORT PICTURES MY ASS!!! I AM LOSING MY SHIT AJDHSKDHSK WE ARE LITERALLY LIVING IN A FANFIC 😭

#when I tell you I physically sat bolt upright in bed the minute I saw those pictures #I literally just woke up and I'm ill so I feel like shit but that made me forget it in an instant holy fuck #ajdhskdhsk my brain is scrambled #I will fucking lose it if he photographs all of them #joker out #kris guštin

39 notes · View notes

mad-hunts · 4 months

Text

imagine being cellmates with barton while you're both in arkham, and so you're kind of anticipating something kind of spooky happening at least once. but then you witness orderlies try to force this mass hiding underneath the blanket of the bed opposite you (that turns out to be barton) out of bed, and it honestly completely breaks that illusion. because apparently, he's done this before and only when he's severely depressed. so it's just kind of more hard to watch than anything because this essentially emphasizes that he is, in fact, a human being... not an animal despite most of the staff treating him like it. and the doctors at arkham either don't care about him having dysthymia (chronic depression) or aren't treating it enough because it can literally get so bad that he can't get out of bed

#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#this hasn't just happened to him at arkham either btw. unfortunately there have been times where he was at home and he literally didn't get #out of bed at all for days and of course this could cause a plethora of physical problems as well as mental. but that's besides the point #bc compassion really is something that is missing from arkham that NEEDS to be there because like i said here. everyone in there is just as #HUMAN as the staff and i feel like they can get so caught up in demonizing the patients there that they forget that which is... well-#very problematic to say the least. bc if you can't function properly and people are treating you like you're an inconvenience for suffering #from things like depression then you aren't going to get better at all but... then again who in arkham really gets better? it's pretty much #a sad truth that no one does.#tw: mental illness.#tw: mentions of mistreatment.

15 notes · View notes

oblivious-flesh · 1 year

Text

hey in case anyone needs this:

your pain doesn't have to be at high levels constantly to be valid. Chronic pain is classified as "pain lasting over three months." I don't fully agree with this definition, but it supports the fact that your pain doesn't always have to be super bad to be chronic!!!

Any level of pain, if long-term, is considered chronic pain!!! For example, I have chronic pain, but most days it's at like a 1-3 when sitting or laying down and not moving my joints, and like a 3-5 when standing or walking!! You don't always have to be in like level 7-10 pain for your pain to be valid!!!

Obviously, I'm not trying to say that people who are always in extremely high levels of pain aren't valid, or that they don't need support. I'm just saying that it's ok to not be in super high levels of pain constantly and that it doesn't mean you aren't 'disabled enough'!!

this post is about physical disability, please don't derail it

121 notes · View notes

lususnatura · 3 months

Text

i just have one more thing to say about him before i go to sleep, and that's this: i've been thinking about making blamore an herbalist that's partially self-taught + also had asked someone to also teach him about it and i think i'm going to do it. because i think it would really fit for his character, since blamore would likely do it as a way to try to find out ways to ease its own pain (particularly his nerve pain) at first. but... all i can imagine now is blamore stumbling across someone's muse in the event that they are friends and them being injured / in pain.

and as a result, it would want to try to help alleviate them of their suffering; so if they had burns and/or cuts, then he'd rub a herbal salve into their skin where it was affected to help treat them. and maybeee he'd give them a bath or something in yarrow if they had a fever because it has been shown to have REALLY good anti-pyretic (anti-fever) abilities. so i basically just imagined it trying to nurse them back to health at least a little bit, and i 😭 i'm putting this on my wishlist on here now because this is just too damn sweet albeit in an angsty way to not do so. but of course, if they were like on death's door or something, then it would definitely just be using some of these herbal cures in the meantime until he could get an medical doctor out there like nico to help them. but it's the thought that counts in the end

#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#yeah so in other words... if your muse is one of blamore's friends then it is going to take care of them alright 😭 though i feel as if him-#using yarrow to lower someone's fever would depend on whether or not he actually had anti-pyretic meds in his greenhouse at the time-#because if it did then blamore would likely just tell them to take some of that since it IS generally easier buttt. Yeah he is absolutely-#the kind of friend to volunteer to watch over them if they're scared as well bc they're really hurt and hold their hand to comfort them-#since it knows that physical touch can be SUCH a reassurance in situations like these as it helped him a lot in particular whenever he-#got shot before it's transformation as he was VERY upset as y'all may be able to imagine because the man's father had just died in front of #them and it didn't want to leave sacha's side even though it was literally bleeding very badly like ;; OMG and i say that touch helped-#him in this situation because it took someone gently patting its back and rubbing circles into it to comfort him to even THINK about lettin #go of his father. so yeahhh i know that's pretty sad BUT it really did not take sacha's death well and understandably so #tw: illness.#tw: injury.#tw: mentions of death.#wishlist.

7 notes · View notes

iftitah · 10 months

Text

everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself

#and its not that they're bad or anything #but im such a people pleaser i feel validation from strangers is more important than family #its because maybe ive watched them too closely and nothing about them fascinates me anymore i know the pattern #and my fun is meeting new people cracking the code #but still #i hate that people will cut your calls leave your message unread kyunki aaj poora din bua mausi aaye the #wish i was that focused on my relatives #ill literally text call anyone even in a middle of a fucking apocalypse #idk yall should tell me if im doing something wrong do yall keep your phones away and forget to text your friends #but i can't focus one thing for too long i cannot physically see messages decking up and not reply #i hate this #do people simply not check. there phone as often or am i an addict #or have i still not learnt to be in the moment #and tomorrow night i leave for home and my friends have planned a meet up #now frn 1 comes to home for one month in her holidays so giving one day or even two days to friends doesn't matter #frn 2 lives in hometown so there's no problem but mind you if she comes she has to leave in 2 minutes because her mom calls every five #minutes just to get her back to home for nothing #frn 3 comes home same as me aka 4-5 days so giving 1 day to friends is parents saying tumhe hamse matlab nahi hai tyohaar mei bhi har baar #milne jaana hota hai #etc #but im home past 4 days ivd literally done nothing papa bhai se utni hi baat hui jitni phone par ho jaati hai #haan for mummy i spent time with her #but most of the time i was on tumblr or scrolling insta to kya hi matlab hua mere ghar aane ka #that means unhe bas meri physical presence chahiye #na ghar par bua aayi na mama na koi #lekin ab kal mujhe jaana hai to kal mama aa jaayenge #why are things this way

22 notes · View notes