#i feel so fucking shitty im so fucking exhausted i have no will to live tbh

[watcher0033]

Almost 1AM and this exchange brought me to tears.

Hear here, we’ll never stop till the world listens. It’s not forever. It’s now.

[sonofshu]

‎ ‎

[the-kipsabian]

when will i be free of this hell (applying for jobs)

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 330

Adjective: Vivacious

Noun: Delta

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Vivacious: attractively lively and animated (typically used of a woman)

Delta: the fourth letter of the Greek alphabet (Δ, δ), transliterated as ‘d’; the fourth in a series of items, categories, etc; (astronomy) the fourth (usually fourth brightest) star in a constellation; a code word representing the letter D, used in radio communication; a difference between two things or values; (computing) a change or set of changes made to a file or program, especially as part of an update to a later version; a triangular tract tract of sediment deposited at the mouth of a river, typically where it diverges into several outlets; a region in northern Mississippi that lies between the Yazoo and Mississippi rivers and is known for its cotton and for blues music

[carrotpiss]

This is a bunch of sad lost and confused and frustrated and lonely sludge, advise not reading

[into-f0lkl0re]

paige bueckers x reader

(I attempted no physical descriptors. Imagine reader how ever you want!)

sorry if this sucks. i tried!

warnings: use of y/n (IK IM SORRYYY, I HATE IT TOO😭😭😭😭 I TRIED TO WRITE IT WITHOUT BUT IT GOT CONFUSING AND MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE THAT RN)

not spell checked

summary: Paige and reader have been dating and live together. paige comes home late from practice and just really needs comfort from the reader.

Paige slammed the door of her apartment behind her. sighing as she kicked off her sneakers, resting her head against the door. coach really overworked them today. they had the final four against Iowa in just a week. All paige could feel was anxiety, her shoulders were tense and her arms tender. She felt a migraine coming on as she stumbled into the kitchen from the hallway. The hallway light was on while everything else was off. It was late, really late. her girlfriend no doubt asleep in their bedroom.

paige was starving but couldn’t motivate herself to make anything to eat. she blindly made her way into her bedroom and collapsed on her side of the bed. paige contemplated waking her girlfriend up, she felt bad it was late. so she decided against it, turning into her girlfriend and burying her head in her neck. paige felt a hand come up and comb through her hair. “hey sweet girl, you’re finally home” y/n whispered into her girlfriends hair. paige nodded burying herself deeper into her girlfriends neck. y/n sat up still holding paige. “ how was practice baby?” “coach is torturing us, we did at least an hour and a half of drill today. I’m so fucking wiped i feel like i’m gonna crash.” paige groaned in y/n’s arms

y/n kissed paige’s forehead smiling down at her adorably grumpy girlfriend. “are you hungry?” paige nodded with a pout on her face. “ok how about this, I will make you something to eat while you go and shower and get comfy.” Paige pursed her lips for a moment as her eyes began to water “i feel bad, I woke you up. and now you are gonna make food for me. i’m sorry i feel like a shitty girlfriend. i mean i haven’t even asked you about your day.” a tear escaped from paige’s eye exhaustion written all over her face. y/n combed through her girlfriends hair before caressing her cheek “I like doing things for you. it makes me happy. i like making sure that you are all right, it’s my job as your girlfriend. and anyway you can pay me back tomorrow morning.” y/n said the end with a smirk. paige laughed before getting up, leaning into her girlfriend, looking down at her lips. “what did i ever do to deserve you.” she smiled before closing the distance and kissing her girlfriend with so much love. physically communicating her endearment towards the girl.

well i tried! I don’t rlly like this, it’s kinda shit but i hope you guys like it 🤞🤞

I haven’t written fanfics since my wattpad days. *audibly shudders* which is was a while ago and i was deep in the marauders phase of my life ( i was like thirteen) anyway if you like this and want more send in requests i have no idea what else to write, i kinda pulled this out of my ass.

big forehead kisses💕💕

-Faye

[nathanbatemanfucker]

In Plain Sight, Ch 2: A Hoard of Cupids

summary: nathan’s much more insightful about you than he used to be. it’s making you uneasy…and curious.

pairing: nathan bateman x f!reader

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, enemies to lovers (sorta), boss/employee dynamics, pining, nathan trying to be nice but he’s so abrasive lol, pining, mentions of caretaking/sick family members, mentions of emotionally abusive parents, masturbation (m), sub!nathan if you squint

wc: 2,745

AN: back at it with part twoooo. thank you all for the kind words and support on this fic, i didn’t expect it to get the response it did but i’m really excited to give y’all the rest. fair warning that these chapters seem to be getting longer as i write on. happy reading!

in plain sight masterlist | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

Nathan gives you space— at first. When you return the next day at 7 a.m. sharp he’s nowhere to be found. Not in the living room or in the kitchen, not on his patio boxing. You assume he’s in his room, probably toying with one of his bots in a distasteful manner. The idea makes you shudder. But is it not easier to come to work with every task he could want you to do placed on his desk, no fuss?

You don’t like Nathan Bateman. He’s a pompous asshole, a know it all, a man who thinks only about his own desires. When he apologized— or rather attempted to— yesterday you thought that maybe you slipped and fallen down the stairs on your way out. By his standards, it was a top tier apology. You’d never once heard him apologize to anyone. On your drive home you had wondered if he had ever apologized in his life. The thought made you giggle, and then you’d turned up the music and forgotten about him until right now.

Sat at your desk, an ungodly stack of things to do. There’s a note sat on top. It’s simple and straightforward, lacking emotion but somehow still has your stomach flipping. It reads:

In meetings all day— let me know if you need anything. Go home early today.

Mr. Bateman

P.S. I’ll spruce up my apologizing skills.

You regard the note cautiously, raising your brow at it before you let yourself laugh a little. Was this a joke or had Nathan Bateman taken some criticism to heart (which is rumored to not exist). You fold the note up, and for some reason slip it into your bag.

The last thing that’s on your mind is that Nathan’s watching you. He sits in the dark at his monitors, leaning in closely. His eyes trace your figure on the screens intensely, watching as you read and read and read. He expects no reaction from you beside maybe throwing it in the trash. But then you laugh, and he watches you store it for safekeeping. A piece of him will go home with you. Nathan never thought he’d be jealous of a piece of paper, not when he seems to have the entire world at his fingertips.

—

He returns to his normal behavior after a week— partially because he thinks you settled in. And partially because…well he begrudgingly can admit to himself, in the comfort of his own mind, that he misses you. When you get to work the next Monday he’s sat on an observation table, examining what looks like a deconstructed robot brain.

You aren’t even able to open your mouth and say good morning before he’s talking to you.

“Are you sleeping okay?” He asks, his eyes appraising you intensely.

You stop in your tracks, regarding him as always, your expression pieced into that calm expression. So you’re back to normal, none of that fire. He expected it but that doesn’t keep him from feeling disappointed.

“Sir?”

“You look really fucking tired. Exhausted,” He tacts on for good measure.

Your spine goes completely rigid, your grip on your bag tightening. You are tired. So very tired. You work shitty hours for incredible money and then go home to take care of your younger sisters and mother. Dealing with Nathan is for them. For your sisters’ schooling, so they won’t feel left out when the other kids have the newest gadget or shoes. For your mother’s ever piling medical bills. It’s important that you don’t jeopardize something so precious.

“Is it affecting my work? Have I done something wrong?” You ask him softly.

“No— that’s not why I’m—“ He stutters before closing his mouth and starting anew. You’ve never seen him like this. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was flustered. But knowing Nathan, he’s just never asked a single employee he’s ever had if they’re alright. “I’m your boss, I worry about your well being. That’s what good bosses do.”

“Are you sure?” You ask evenly, eyes still trained on him.

“Am I—“ He stops, eyes wide for a fraction of a second before he bites away his smile. “Are you fucking with me?”

If he was looking at you so intentionally he would miss the way your mouth twitches. “I’m fine, Mr. Bateman. I have a lot of responsibilities, not only here but out there as well.”

“Out there?”

“The real world. Thank you for the concern, sir.”

For the second time, you’ve rendered Nathan speechless. That night he lays in bed thinking of you, like many nights prior. He turns your words over in his head time and time again. The real world. Do you think he doesn’t know what it’s like out there? He wonders how much research you’d done for the job. Nathan used his brain to get here, climbing and climbing. He hadn’t been born into this but his personality lent itself to such a conclusion. Nathan knows what his real world used to look like, though one day he hopes that any of his contraptions can help him forget. He wonders what your real world looks like.

There’s no ring on your finger, but you could have a partner. Kids? Another job? He pays you well enough for that to not be necessary. Maybe you volunteer at a puppy shelter. He could picture it. You in something other than your stuffy work clothes, a smile on your face as you drown in puppy breath and slobber.

He groans, rolling over in bed to plant his face deeply in the pillow. Maybe he can smother himself out of this. Thinking about puppies? He might as well be one, he’s practically lovesick if you have him thinking like this. When would he get used to feeling this way? His usual cynical thoughts feel like they’re being pillaged by a hoard of cupids.

He doesn’t even know if you feel the same. Being better for you is one thing, but what if there’s no payoff? What if he changes for you and you leave him high and dry? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He feels the back of his neck sweating and sits up.

Nathan’s been down this road before, it’s brought him his fortune and an insane work ethic. It’s all brought him sorrow he’ll never be able to escape. Being with his parents feels like a fever dream sometimes and other times he feels 6 again, like he’s drowning in their expectations and insults, trying to measure up. He’d given up eventually, once he realized that they would never love him the way parents should. Why try to do anything anyone wanted but himself when they could still treat him poorly for it?

He’s the way he is from his own indoctrination. He doesn’t know where he would be if he hadn’t convinced himself that he was the only person that truly matters.

But, now there’s you. You, who looks so soft, you that scratches an itch he didn’t even realize he had. You, that he wants to goad and prod and poke until you unleash all of yourself on him. He closes his eyes and lays back, envisioning you right here with him. He feels insane, his heart— his mind, his dick— are taking him through a whirlwind of emotions right now.

He palms himself through his boxers, eyes squeezing shut tighter than before as he tries to narrate. He pictures you in one of his white shirts, it’s fabric nearly see-through with the way it clings to your breasts. He grasps his length through his boxers letting out a heaving sigh. Fuck he wishes this was you.

If there’s anything that Nathan knows how to do its not only being smartest but the most imaginative. He’s been daydreaming for as long as he can remember. Universes with better outcomes— having worth, or loving parents or anyone for that matter. Anyone to be on his side. He imagined codes and synthetic body parts that live and breathe in front of him. He can surely imagine you, breathy and horny in his bed, jerking him off. He doesn’t care if it’s fucked up, or inappropriate. He wants you, and maybe this is the only way he can have you. He slides his boxers down, finally done teasing himself. Licking his palm, he grabs his cock, starts stroking and succumbs to the thought of you.

Another moan bubbles out of his throat. He can see your nipples through his shirt when you straddle him like this. Your thighs are soft against his own and he would reach for your free hand, thread his fingers through your own. Your hands are smaller than his, smooth and supple. And god, you’re stroking him just the way he likes it, the soft wet sound making pleasure shoot through his groin.

You’d overstimulate him wouldn’t you? With that clever mouth barely pulling up a grin, eyes full of fire as you stroke him past the point of pleasure. Would you make him watch? See the way your hands would grow slick and shiny with his cum as you kept pumping and pumping, pushing him to another release. Covering you both in him, until you’re too needy to keep toying with him. Nathan cums just as he’s imagining the feeling of you dragging your bare pussy against his sensitive cock. He whines and keens off the bed, the high singing in his veins. He swears he can almost imagine the way you would moan.

His eyes open, the spell broken. He’s alone, covered in his own spend, chest heaving like he just ran a 10k. He avoids his reflection when he walks into the bathroom to clean up. His loneliness spikes again and he heads to the kitchen, reaching for the first bottle he can find.

—

“You’re late,” He says stiffly, crossing his arms as he watches you cross the space to sit at your desk.

The day after he’d gotten off thinking of you he’d had the slightest difficulty looking at you. It quickly faded, he was too greedy. Too needy, if he’s being honest. He can’t get enough, he doesn’t know if he could ever say it but you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

You’re openly frazzled; your shirt isn’t tucked in, your hair is a little more frizzy than usual and you look as tired as ever. He regrets his biting tone immediately.

Even as you explain you’re moving, setting your to-go mug on the desk, fetching your calendar, booting up your computer. “I know, I’m sorry, Mr. Bateman. My sisters were less than cooperative this morning.”

Nathan turns completely away from the bins he’s been searching through, raising a brow at you in surprise, “Your sisters?”

“Yes— one is 7 the other is 14. The little made getting out of the house…difficult,” You murmur distractedly, eyes trained on your screen.

“Isn’t that your parents’ fucking job?”

His question snaps you back to the present— you hadn’t shared nearly as much as you could’ve. But you’d gone into this job wanting to be nameless and faceless. Memorable only for the quality of the work you do.

You shake your head, daring a quick glance in his direction that you immediately regret when your eyes meet his.“I realized that I’ve shared far too much about my personal life. I should work, Mr. Bateman.”

Nathan immediately understands your deflecting. How many times has he been asked by reporters and interviewers where his family is? Enough times that he’s had his publicist strike the topic from the acceptable lists. That was about all he was good for anyway, Nathan says what he wants when he wants.

He goes back to the task at hand— though now with you here he doesn’t quite remember what that was. A part…some sort of part that he needed. Wires? Screws? A metal plate? He sighs in frustration and leaves without another word.

Your gaze is on the door as soon as it shuts, making sure he’s gone. The tears that you’ve been biting back fall and you bury your face in your hands. Your youngest sister had begged and pleaded for you to stay warm in bed with her this morning. With your mother so sick, you’ve practically raised her yourself these last few years. It makes her needy, which you understand. But what she doesn’t understand is how delicate the balance you found in caring for your entire family is. Middle sister lacks just as much understanding, with heaps of attitude. She doesn’t want to snuggle with you or with younger sister. Mediating this entire situation is what made you late.

It feels like you’re cracking under the pressure but that isn’t an option, is it? As if the universe wants to make it clear, your computer chimes. It’s Nathan, asking you to come to his office.

—

He’d meant to go clear his head in his office and come back to get whatever part he was in need of. But, when he sat in his chair he was met with the sight of you hunched over your desk, presumably crying by the way your shoulders jerked every once and a while.

He’s pinging you before he can think better of it. He watches you read his message. You’re such an anomaly— you sit up immediately, reaching for some tissues and cleaning yourself up as if nothing happened. You even check yourself in the reflection of your computer, fidgeting with your hair, tucking in your shirt once you stand. As soon as you start out of the office he turns off his monitors, not one to be caught snooping around though it’s right and was clear in the contract. Maybe you’ve forgotten. Perhaps you don’t think your anything worth watching…Nathan would like to change that assumption.

“You pinged me, sir?”

How would he play this? He couldn’t admit that he just watched you cry.

“Trying my hand at this apologizing shit again. I— Nathan Bateman— am sorry for being insensitive. Like I said last time, I don’t know your life or you. Alright, how was that?”

“I would say a solid, 5/10, which is a 50% improvement.”

“Fuck me, you’re a tough crowd. What am I docked for? You know I’m all about perfection.”

“There was a lack of originality. And you omitted your middle name.”

It takes everything in Nathan not to giggle. The way the words come out of your mouth are so funny… or maybe he’s just obsessed. It could be both. “My middle name is classified information.”

“Does Wikipedia know that?” You ask, tilting your head in that uncanny way.

Nathan can’t hold in his laugh this time, running a hand over his beard, “You’re funnier than you look.”

Your mouth twitches, and you give him the smallest nod, “Thank you, sir. Is that all?”

He pretends to think about it. “This apology is feeling pretty one-sided to me.”

“I accept your apology, Mr. Bateman, thank you.”

“Accept something else,” He proposes, going out on a limb. Suddenly your stare is too intense, the room is too hot and small. What the fuck is he doing?

“What’s that?” You ask, as soft and sweet as ever.

“Dinner. Tomorrow,” He says simply.

“With you?”

Nathan ignores the twinge in his heart— your tone barely changed. If he wasn’t with you every single day, studying you, he wouldn’t even have noticed.

“I can invite the droids if you want. They’ll just stare at us while we eat.”

Your hand tightens around your planner. Dinner with Nathan…choosing to be around him? It seemed like as of late he was trying to be…more palatable. This could be an act of good faith. But, you have your sisters and mother to think about. You’ve given her nurse enough overtime hours in the last few weeks.

“Without getting too personal, I don’t think I’ll be able to swing it sir, I have to get home to my sisters as soon as possible.”

Yes, your family, that you never talk about. He could accommodate, what’s he the fucking boss for if he can’t?

“We’ll do it early.”

You sway a little as you think about this— that’s new, he thinks to himself, filing that information away for later.

“You’ve already got me apologizing, I can’t add saying please to the list of acceptable behaviors. I’ll lose my fucking edge.”

“How early?”

“3:30.”

“Alright, then, sir.”

nathan taglist: @missdictatorme, @hon3yboy, @runa-falls, @campingwiththecharmings, @toracainz, @steven-grants-world, @clemdango04, @jdbxws, @crispysublimecupcake, @sub-aro, @faretheeoscar, @cupidysm, @whentheskyispinkandabitblue , @nova-ivy541, @sparkypantelones, @veritable-trash, @mangoslushcrush, @kotaropuppy

[calzone-d]

What about when your mad at Ted and you feel bad for snapping at him?

(Hi it's me, and I have terrible PMS rn lmao)

sorry this is a lil short, it's finals week!

thanks for sending this in, anon!

you can find my masterlist here.

-----

It was one of those days where every little thing irritated the shit out of you. People breathing too loud, chewing too obnoxiously, your hair being extremely frizzy for no reason- everything was just annoying.

Ted came home in a particularly upbeat mood, which you normally adored to see. You still did, you just was hoping for some space to decompress from your day before spending the evening socializing with him. It wasn’t anything against him, you just needed to be alone.. in silence.

“Hey darlin’! Ooh-wee I can’t wait to tell you about what happened out on the pitch today. You see-“

You nodded and hummed occasionally at his story, not as invested as you should’ve been, but even the simple act of cooking dinner was taking everything in you.

Ted continued to ramble on about his day as you cooked. You spilled some rice on the oven- no big deal, you’d clean it later. Then, you checked the chicken in the oven only to find that it was burnt.

“Shit!”, your frustrated voice interrupted Ted’s story.

“What’s the matter?”

“I burnt the fucking food, and there’s such a mess to clean up and-“

Ted cut you off with an optimistic, “We can worry about it after dinner, hun.”

Before you could stop yourself, your temper got the best of you.

“No, Ted! I don’t want to just deal with it later! Im fucking exhausted and I just want to spend a quiet night in bed!”

Ted’s brows furrowed as you continued, “And I love you, and I love hearing about your day but I just- I can’t right now!”

He left you with a quiet, “Well alright, then” before heading to the living room. Though you were thankful for a few moments to yourself, you knew you were in the wrong.

Ted came and fixed himself a plate a few minutes later, but took it back into the living room without saying a word. You felt guilty. It would’ve been so easy to just be open with him, but on top of being irritated you were trying to do a million things at once, which wasn’t a great combination.

You cleaned up dinner, and put on your pajamas before taking a seat next to Ted on the couch. He didn’t say anything as you sat down, even as your eyes met.

“Ted.. I’m sorry.”, your voice was soft.

He nodded for you to continue.

“Today was just so.. so frustrating and jam-packed and I was hoping for some time to decompress but then dinner went the way it did, and I felt bad for not listening to your story but I just really needed a few moments to myself.”

After a few seconds he spoke, “Then why didn’t ya just ask me?”

His voice stayed calm and gentle, fitting for the man you loved. You were worried you’d stuck a nerve, especially with the wounds Michelle left him with. The last thing you wanted was for him to think he was ��too much’. Still, it would’ve been so much easier to just ask for space when he got home. It wasn’t his fault you pushed yourself too far.

“That’s what I should’ve done, and I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you thinking I didn’t care, or didn’t want to hear about your day-“

“There’s a big difference between not carin’ and just needin’ a moment.”

You slowly nodded as your eyes cast downward. “I know. I should’ve just asked for some time alone, instead of snapping at you. My shitty day had nothing to do with you.. and I don’t want you to think it did.”

He shook his head as he shuffled closer to you, “Darlin’, that’s fine. Just ask next time, okay? I don’t like seein’ you all stressed.”

Your head fell against his shoulder as you finally smiled for the first time all day. “I’ll work on finding better ways to communicate that. Thank you for listening.. I’d love to hear about your day before bed?”

One of Ted’s hands reached down to cup your cheek so that he could pull you in for a kiss. He kissed you gently, and lovingly. When he pulled away his hand smoothed over the top of your head before he pressed another kiss there.

“Sounds like a plan, stan. Now, you tell me what we’re watchin’ tonight.”

He pulled you in close as you both settled together on the couch.

thanks for reading!

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

status of babbit's life yeehaw

tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.

tl,wr (too long, will read):

Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol

i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'

my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh

basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!

anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around

[itsyagurlchip]

WAIT I SENT THE ASK TOO EARLYA AUWHAUDHDEKDVW

how is the original bone skeleton man doing?? OH OH AND is the setting the usual portal opening in the house and bam you've got new uncles or something else??? YAIOEPEPWLWKWPWBAOAV

buckle up, cuz this is super long yall 🥲

OKAY!!! THIS IS WHERE MY "INTERESTING" PART COMES IN 😁 monsters are just coming to the surface, and speciesism is as high as ever. after a year of this, queen toriel decides to open a human-monster program, something that also promotes her small school.

monsters adopt humans! ebbot was a bit iffy on it, but after realizing the benefits the mayor eventually agreed. (jk that nigga only wants the money 💀-) It was hard to get the program started, because many schools and orphanages werent as trusting, and the state wasn't fundinh it at all. So Toriel took a different approach.

Many monsters put their savings into it, considering their currency is literal fucking gold, and the program would allow each child to get $1000+ per month, depending on their age and needs. and yes giving kids thousands of dollars per year doesn't sound like a good idea, but shhhhh! the plot my dear!

The monsters who take care of them aren't allowed to use it themselves in selfish situations. Both the child and the guardian has rules.

one) you guys have to interact in some way. whether it be verbally, or even physically. two) NOTHING 18+, as all children being minors, that would be kinda weird. three) follow laws as follows- just dont be a shitty parent. four) the child has to want to participate as well, and cant do anything to hurt the guardian. including verbally (bc monster souls are made of feelings pretty much [thats another hc for another day])

id love to go deeper into the details, yet i however cannot bc i dont know how a parent-child program works.

and you have to be in the program for 1 month before you or the child wants to back out.

doesn't matter if its one-sided or not, when someone doesn't like it it immediately stops. id like to say that frisk and papyrus put most if their money into this, just so she can be adopted by toriel.

so when papyrus sees that gaster and sans have been stuck in the lab (not the basement!) for globs of hours at a time, sporadic sleeping, and overall exhaustion from work, he says the craziest shit

"SINCE YOU TWO ARE NERD BUMS, AND I CAN'T ALWAYS BE AT HOME FOR YOU TWO, I ADOPTED A HUMAN CHILD!!"

sans, in his sleep deprived state, promptly rose an eyebrow and fell out of his chair onto his side.

yea, its not that he didn't take the thing well, bro couldn't process it 💀💀

gaster just rolled his only visible eyelight and went back to work

....

well that worked well!!

reader arrived to the house the next day, and seeing that it was a two story house!?!?

AND there was an in-law suite? fuck yea! orphan kid made the jackpot 💥💥😼

they had fuckin steps too les goo!!

Your dark skin shined against the light of the sun, your brown eyes sparkling in excitement.

reader let go of papyrus's hand and ran inside immediately.

Careful as to not smudge your dirty shoes against the shiney floor, you looked around the house in amazement. This place had to have atleast 5 rooms!

and then the in law suite on the side looked like another 2 rooms!?? BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!

Not only did you have super nice guardians (you hoped), they were packed enough to keep you and themselves stabilized!! Hell, if theirs more people, they could support them aswell!!

Taking off your shoes, you looked around the living room. The long couch was green, albiet a bit patchy for a nice place, while the tan side couches could lean back!!

where those outlets on the sides? omg

"HAVING FUN DEAR HUMAN CHILD?" Papyrus smirked. He knew that the house of the Great Papyrus was enough to impress anyone, even of young ages.

"You guys are so rich!! wow- i mean, not that im tryna take your money or anything, but like- WOW!! Its so big!! Bigger than anything ive ever been to!" You were now flapping your hands and bouncing a bit. Your locs of hair bounced in it's pony tail no matter how small the fidget-hop was.

Behind the living room was a beautiful and lavish kitchen, and to the right there was the steps. To the right it looked like some like of master bedroom or guest bathroom.

But you didn't care about rooms right now, you wanted to see your other guardians!!

"Where are the other people im supposed to be meeting? Are you my only guardian or do they have to take care of me too? Are they mean? Are they bums? I hope they dont smoke or something, Do they have an addiction? What about-"

"THAT!, DEAR CHILD, IS GOING TO BE FOR INTRODUCTIONS!! DO NOT WORRY, WHILE THOSE TWO MAY BE GRUMPS, THEY ARE PLEASANT PEOPLE TO BE AROUND...EVEN IF THE LACK OF SLEEP TAKES THEIR PLEASANT PERSONALITY AWAY..." Papyrus concluded. You noticed that, despite the way he tried to talk to himself, you still heard it loud and clearly.

Maybe he had a hard time with volume control. meh.

Grabbing your hand and leading you towards the back door next to the kitchen, Papyrus opened the door. He had to lean down a bit in order to hold your hand, but he didn't mind.

The hallway was looooong. Instead of it being regular walls, it was glass windows of different colors. Which made you raise an eyebrow abit.

Seeing your reaction, the tall skeleton explained, "SINCE WE DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE FOR EXPERIMENTAL ACTIVITY, TOTALLY NOT BOMBS, MY BROTHER AND FATHER DECIDED TO LIVE IN THE SUITE!" He said, walking and talking.

You both reached the end of the hallway, hearing mumblings, ramblings, and overall terms that lowkey hurt your brain.

Getting too excited, you open the door to a glass-based lab. With the occasional plastic and metal equipment.

In the middle of the room there was an island counter filled was rainbow colored stuff ('gay as hell' , you sniggered), small green candies, and lots and lots if paper and pencils sharpened to the ends.

At one end of the room, there was a tall skeleton, a little shorter than Papyrus, who was more goop than skeleton. Infact, he looked like someone took a fire torch to his upper body, but you didn't say anything.

At the other end, there was a short skeleton, probably shorter than you (hah, being 5'0 did pay off), laying with his head on the desk, knocked out with blue slob. You marveled at the sight, wanting to know more about monsters at this revelation.

"FATHER! BROTHER! THIS IS THE CHILD I ADOPTED FOR ALL OF US!" Papyrus announced, grinning undauntedly. The smaller skeleton banged his head on the desk at the loud voice, while the other one barely flinched and turned slowly in irritation. "INTRODUCE YOURSELVES WHILE I MAKE LUNCH FOR THE GROWING FETUS!" He declared, marching out with a big smile.

If this plan went correctly, then his favorite family members would be mentally stable (as much as one could try- he thought to himself).

after banging his head on the damned table, sans sat up a bit disoriented.

why was there a human child in the house?

why was it in the lab?

"uhh kid, ur not supposed be here...uhh, its not safe and uh, you could die."

"WOW! Your so freakin cool! How do you talk without moving your face? Are you wearing a mask? I could die here! ooh shiney stuff, can i touch it?"

yea.. this kid has not had a proper friend in a minute

he was overwhelmed by the questions you asked at first, he didn't answer them at all in favor of watching gaster struggle to calm you down.

sans didn't mind how loud you were, it was moreso the curiosity that you brought along with you.

that wouldn't do.

"Hey! What's this?" the kid asked, walking towards the machine that could very much possibly cause the heat death of the universe, before getting snatched up by gaster.

"Enough! you are here to introduce yourself, and you will do as such" It was funny to see the man twitch like that. sans likes this kid already.

After knowing your name and age, sans was a bit surprised.

he honestly thought you were younger.

while introducing himself he tried to keep it simple and short. how old is he?

"how old am i old man?"

His blue slippers shifted from the movement of his ankle bones.

he thought you were just an average kid, but something about you was different.

oddly enough you always wore these earrings saying Y on the right and N on the left.

he wonder what it meant

Now its a week past since you came into the 'haunted house', aka the skele-dungeon

you two play pranks against gaster when he has free time. watching him bounce his leg in irritation every time he finds a lima bean in his notes is pure gold.

since you're virtual, due to your choice, he tries to take you places.

some of the most consistent ones are dance class every saturday and neighborhood walks you take by yourself.

I think of sans is the type of person to give less of a shit about his dad.

mostly because if the way he approaches things, iN tHE NaME oF sCIeNcE

it pisses him off everytime he tries to ask you for a blood sample

and it makes him even angrier when you say yes without a second thought.

but despite that, he cares about gaster.

but he wants to choke him out being his first son.

Despite being constantly sleep deprived, he makes time for this little new joy in his life.

Back then he's sleep at his desk, especially when his magic reserves were too low to shortcut.

But now, and you thought he didn't notice, you carry him to the living room of the main house and turn the tv volume down to 9 when you cant fall asleep.

another thing you both have in common

More often than not, you both find each other at the odd hours if the night.

since he can barely cook shit, it's mostly you making the midnight snacks

he appreciates the food you make for him, despite him initially coming to get a 10 1/2 ounce bag of chips

other times you guys will sit in the living room in silence

occasionally he'll find himself rambling to you about physics, specifically quantum, so he can keep his memory up.

sans likes the way you treat his brother.

as an uncle and not a childish cousin.

You may not be able to keep up with Papyrus's schedules and puzzles

but when you can, you two shine this wholesome light on the whole house that makes sans's soul ache lovingly.

Papyrus likes to take you out for walks more than him, or you'll both hang out in the backyard next to the glass hallway of the suite.

on his breaks, he'll find you two doing silly things

like rolling in the grass

or trying to carry each other.

without being able to admit it, sans and papyrus feel a new joy in their life.

and they got a cool kid to come with it :)

Gaster and sans were in the lab when his father said the most dumbest shit his nonexistent ears could ever listen to

gaster was never fully succumbed into the void, as sans had saved him before anything totally horrible happened.

hence his melted face and arms.

but he saw something, or rather somethings, that his meticulous little nerd brain has been hyperfiaxting on since the child came.

"Let's discover new universes!"

sans was just like 'naw, jit crazy'

so gaster fucks around with the machine for a while in secret while sans is frolicking with his newly adopted child.

ew, children.

but he guesses that she's okay, despite her adamant queries (hehe).

and soon enough, the machine made that man find out after he fucked around

Now that the machine stopped pouring in different variants of his children, this only made gaster more excited to use the machine.

sans on the other hand was fuckin freaking out.

the damn geezer did it

but not only that, there are aggressive ass versions of him who are willing to kill a child and that wont go.

sans is not gonna give on the things that bring him joy that easy.

*insert battle sequence*

ok so he got his ass whooped, no biggie.

and now his adopted child is befriending them. great.

annnddd now his brother is taking care of them. even better.

AANNNDD now his father is too interested in them to try and find a way to send them back. AMAZING!

bro wants to jump off a roof at this point

to be honest, he doesn't like the other versions of himself.

Theyre different possibilities of what could've happened currently and he already thinks about that enough.

but, reader likes them, so he gives them a pass.

but if they hurt her...or even worse, his brother...

he wont need the machine to figure out a way to take them out of this world.

KITTY!! THANK U SM!!! ✨❤️✨❤️✨🫣❤️🫣❤️ EKKK!! YOU GUYS BRING ME SUCH JOY 😋😋😋 YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYATATATTATATATTATATATATATTATATATTATATATATTATATATA IM SO HAPPY!! YHSHABDGSIWKSBHSUWBWHAISNEGEYGSBAOWOAMQNWHUDBRYDUBJQIBSGATUWOWUEHRBXKMXBSYSJBSBZ-

i know the reader sounds super excited rn, which is sorta unexpected for an orphan centered fic, in the official thing you're gonna see a less than..nice attitude from them.

btw i wanna make a house plan to this can make more sense for your guys. ohhhhhhhh- IM TOO DAMN EXCITED 😋😋💕 i prolly gotta learn skeleton anatomy too-

@kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice @cyb3r-st4r. if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!

[lostintheclouds-stuff]

Just a stupid vent ab my stupid mental health <3

I am ruining my life to put it plainly...

I have a loving partner, pets, a few friends and I do have my family (although they aren't always the best) they do care, but as awful as it sounds, I don't care. I love all of them but my head just doesn't work the way it's supposed to. Like I love and care deeply for all of them and genuinely I would walk to the ends of the earth just to make them happy, but the fact they care about me doesn't stick long enough for me to care if I'm destroying myself or not.

Earlier this year I had 2 sewerslide attempts, 1 put me in h0spital and the other was minor because it got caught whilst I was doing it and I started getting better after that, I went to therapy and spoke things out, I was getting back into a routine, I was 3ating and looking after myself, still getting episodes but I was medicated so it was okay, then idk when it happened but everything started falling apart, I started r3stricting and thinking about wanting to d1e far more often and now I'm at a point where every single day I'm considering if i should go through with it again, I'm thinking about wanting to s/h constantly and trying to think of the best ways to do it without being caught, I'm not taking my antidepressants im hardly looking after myself

All while I tell everyone I'm doing much better now. My episodes are starting to get worse and worse again too, looking at old photos and videos of myself not even recognising who it is because I just don't even know what I look like, I'm so detached from myself I don't have a clue who I am or what I look like or what I'm even supposed to be doing with myself.

I know there's lots of reasons to live bla bla, but it's just hopeless honestly. I have no goals (ik being sk1nny is a goal but lets be real b1nging and restr1cting doesn't last eventually I will be caught and stopped or get sick enough to be hospitalised) no aspirations, no plans, I'm just sick and the rest of my life is just going to be a constant cycle of get better, relapse, get better, relapse. So what's the point... I genuinely feel like they would all be much better off without me here.

When I say I aggressively hate myself, I mean it with all the might I've got. I fucking despise myself, every single part of me. I had planned to end everything when I hit 16 but I'm 24 now and idk what to do with myself, I didn't plan anything because I wasn't meant to be here... I'm just exhausted, I'm tired.

I'm sorry if you read this whole thing ik it's shitty and depressing. stay safe loves <3

[gaysullengirl]

𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞, 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐚𝐫

❝  i don't wanna fuck with your head, it’s

breaking my heart to keep breaking yours again.” -

don’t wanna break up again, ariana grande

    Isabelle clutched her purse as she walked onto the jet, it was three AM, the team has just caught the unsub- Robert Parker, everyone was exhausted to say the least.

She noticed how Spencer glanced at her before attempting to discreetly look away, Isabelle sat down in the seat farthest away from everyone.

Luckily the plane ride wasn't far, when everyone returned to the office Hotch spoke, " Reid, Cruz, can I see you in my office?"

Isabelle walked up the stairs with Spencer following behind her, "Sit." Hotch told the pair.

"Both of your behavior on this case was highly inappropriate." Isa narrowed her eyes and suppressed the urge to scoff.

Yes she had initiated the argument with Spencer, but Isabelle hated admitting her weaknesses or mistakes- so she pretended she wasn't in the wrong.

"Sir, I'm sorry, I know it was and it won't happen again." Spencer apologized.

Hotch narrowed his eyes toward Isabelle, she sighed, "I apologize, it won't happen again." she grabbed her things and walked to the elevator, just before the doors shut Spencer ran in.

"Look, I'm sorry and I think we should talk, how about we go to my apartment." He offered, Spencer wasn't sure if he despised Isabelle or adored her, but he knew he hates arguing with her.

"Fine" Isabelle clenched her jaw.

When they walked into Spencer's apartment a wave of sadness washed over Isabelle, she noticed objects that used to be in their shared apartment.

Spencer set his bags down and walked to the kitchen, "Do you want a cup of coffee?" "Do you have alcohol?"

Spencer grabbed his only bottle of alcohol- Vodka, it was a birthday gift from Rossi that he never opened, he brushed the light layer of dust off of it and poured it into a glass.

"Sorry, I don't have shot glasses." He admitted handing the drink to Isabelle, "It's fine."

"You have a lot of books." She observed out loud, she read every spine until one caught her attention, 'The Bell Jar' she grabbed it, "You still have it." Isabelle held back a smile, "Yeah of course" he replied. 

"I remember staying up all night and annotating it for you." She smiled at the memory, "Yeah that was a really sweet gift" Spencer smiled.

Isabelle joined him on the couch and poured another shot for herself before drinking it.

They both sat in awkward silence waiting for the other to speak first.

Isabelle ran her finger around the rim of her glass, "I'm sorry for leaving you."

"It's okay." Spencer replied flatly while staring down at his fingers.

"Stop it, stop being so nice to me, please." she pleaded with tears slowly falling from her eyes, "Just be mad at me, call me a bitch, scream at me!"  Her voice cracked.

Spencer didn't respond, "I was such a bad person- I think I still am, you should hate me, I don't know why you're treating me so well- I was such a shitty girlfriend- and person." She said empathetically.

Spencer was frozen, he didn't realize how bad Isabelle felt, even after four years.

Spencer reached over to her hand that rested on the couch, he rubbed small circles with his thumb, tears threatening to spill from his eyes any second.

"I wish you would just hate me."

"I want to hate you, but I can't, maybe four years ago I would yell at you but seeing how bad you feel- I can't, I always thought you were living somewhere with a better guy, laughing about me." He admitted

Spencer looked up at her, "You're the only person I've ever felt completely comfortable with, was there something wrong with me?"

Isabelle swallowed, "No! I just couldn't handle it, being in a relationship, I was such a bitch and you were- you are... everything i've ever wanted."

The pair sat in awkward silence, "Im gonna go home." Isabelle grabbed her bag, "Wait you had two shots, how about I drive you?"

"No it's okay, I can walk." She said.

"Isa, it's five am, I'm not letting you walk home alone." "I have a gun." She argued.

"Just let me drive you, please." He asked, Isabelle nodded silently.

author's note!

i know i said i wouldn't be able to post this chapter until the weekend but i decided to shorten it so sorry this one is so short i pinky promise the next chap will be longer

[beesmygod]

i had this typed up for my newsletter im working on lol. i solved one of my health mysteries. tl;dr: food allergy

---

having a completely fucked up sleep schedule goes hand in hand with having a fucked up food schedule, which means my last meal is when the sun comes up and i dont get hungry until late in the day. any attempts to break this pattern risk waking up ravenously, eating-raw-meat-out-of-the-freezer hungry in the middle of what was supposed to be my sleep cycle. i do whatever the opposite of torpor is. i invented a worse way of mammalian living. do NOT steal.

so anyway, every night before i go to bed, i would fill my empty tummy with a delicious peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich. this is because strawberry is the tastiest, most accessible jelly. let me explain: when you go to a diner and search through the little jelly basket with all the jellies in it, you will see these flavors and these flavors ONLY!!! (ranked by deliciousness):

strawberry

orange marmalade

mixed berry

the putrid concord grape

orange marmalade is a distant second to the only good jelly on this list. i like strawberry jam.

in the mornings, i started eating special k cereal (red berries, again, the only good one) hoping the vitamin c would cure whatever was causing me to feel so fucking sick and miserable on a daily basis. every day i would wake up exhausted and every night i would go to bed in terrible pain from my entire chest down. it was hard to explain my symptoms outside of just feeling like total shit generally. to be honest, i thought it was just the result of bad living. my chest was often tight but i attributed this to how freakishly tense my body is from years of letting anxiety run ramshod over my brain and body. ive had this problem for over a decade.

recently, i went on vacation for a few days to d.c. with my boyfriend, adam. on the evening of the second day, as we shared a plate of fried chicken livers as romantically as possible, i told him, "i feel so good. this is the best i've felt in a long time!". and i really meant it. the rash on my face had cleared up significantly, my stabbing chest pain i had attributed to heartburn/dying was gone, and best of all, i felt like i could breathe. my chest no longer felt like it was being crushed and my lungs didnt feel like they were sticking together instead of inflating. my legs didnt even hurt as much when i walked, which seemed like a massive achievement to me.

i came home from d.c. late in the evening and returned to my nightly ritual sandwich. that's when i noticed, for the first time ever (now that i was unburdened with terrible pain elsewhere), that my mouth was burning and tingling in a way that might be textbook anaphylaxis.

i thought back to the time when my sister told me she liked the taste of bananas but they were too spicy for her. and how i laughed at her and said "what the hell are you talking about", which in turn lead to the discovery of her birch allergy. i also thought back to high school when i suddenly started feeling very ill, tired, and weak almost every single day. but i would still *~bravely~* find the strength to go into work nearly every day. i would be sooooo hungry by the time i got to my job immediately after getting out of school and wouldnt get to eat until i got home at 9pm. so i would commit a little corporate theft and eat some sample sized special k (red berries) intended for patrons. hmm. a pattern is emerging.

now i have an epipen and blood work being processed by a doctor who expressed mild horror at how frequently i was dosing myself with a little bit of near death experience just for delicious strawberries. as it turns out, you feel a lot better once you stop poisoning yourself on a daily basis. at no point did i ever think i was going to die from any of my various problems despite having every symptom that obviously points at a reaction. i dont know. i thought i just rolled some bad genetic dice and got stuck with the shitty body lol.

i did sort of eat the rest of the sandwich tho. it was good. no ragrets

[salamanderdr]

*FALLS THROUGH CEILING* I heard you had a trucker + dog!shifter binchan au?!! That is exactly up my alley hello I want to hear everything!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH- OMG

I do have a fic up for it so here ya go:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46275685

~

BUTBYEAH SO BASICALLY-

Older late 30s Changbin has nothing much going in his life except driving across the country hauling anything & everything with his big 18-wheeler. You name it he hauls it 💪🏼

He's his own boss, so he take whatever jobs he can gets.

He's rugged, but charming, he has a couple friends at his usual stops & other truckers he comes across occasionally. But for the most part he's alone, driving, sleeping, eating, living alone. He doesn't mind it, he's used to it, but the loneliness gets to him, especially on rough days.

Until one day, trucker!changbin makes a late pit stop at like 3am. He's hungry. he's exhausted. He needs a fucking shower. And he's approached by a stranger in the dark. He screams way too loud when they tap him in on the shoulder. They both jump backwards & the stranger now looks more frightened than Changbin.

Changbin's eyes practically bulge out of his head when he's met with a silver haired beauty illuminated by the gas station shitty yellow lighting. He stutters. So does the angelic stranger. He stands there taking the man in & when he glances down after staring at his face for too long, he finally notices the man has nothing but a ragged blanket over his shoulders.

"Wtf! Are you okay?"

The stranger is also taken out of his shock & shakes his head no, "i-i need help. I- I was-" and suddenly he's crying. Covering his face with the blanket.

Changbin can't stand seeing someone cry. And seeing this particular person gives Changbin a funny feeling in his stomach. His mother always warned him about strangers approaching him during his pits stops. Paranoid that they rob him, attack him, or something. It was a risk, but Changbin wondered if the warnings told by other truckers were more applicable.

Senior drivers always had their superstitions of beautiful people (usually they were talking about women) asking a sleep deprived trucker for help in the middle of the night. They would always say they could be ghouls, demons, and spirit trying to seduce in order to eat you/possess your body. That was the guess for why some divers disappeared.

The stranger's appearance made Changbin think of those rumors. Fortunately, Changbin wasn't a superstitious man. And when he reached to comfort the man, his skin felt warm, real. Not a ghoul.

The stranger gasped but didn't pull away. He met Changbin's gaze with shiny eyes.

"Ssh ssh, you don't have to tell me. Hey, what's your name, bud? I can help ya. I'm Changbin."

"Im...chan" He hesitated

Changbin smiled, "Why don't I get ya food, clothes. And a shower! He could both use one."

chan blushed, wrapping up tighter. He seemed embarrassed.

"S-sorry."

"It's fine...Changbin-ssi I'd like all that... please."

"Of course"

~

Blah blah blah, the rest would be for a fic for another time, but basically, Changbin helps Chan out and also drives him to the next town over where Chan promises he has a place to go there. Changbin leaves him with some money & regretfully leaves Chan behind. Their short time together was pleasant & Changbin got the feeling that it was loneliness & being touch starved, which made him wished Chan stayed longer.

He couldn't get Chan out of his head. It became an obsession. He'd dreamt of Chan. His smile, dimples, hair, eyes, his laugh...

He started to lose his mind bc at every stop after that he thought he saw Chan. Flashes of white & sliver hair passing by his peripheral.

He wishes he could see him again...

"Woof!"

White silver fluffy fur. Shiny eyes. A sweet smile. There are always stray dogs roaming around truck stops. But something about this dog was different. How on earth! Was this dog not someone's? Shit he should be winning 1st prize at a dog show. Not begging an overworked truck driver for scraps.

But the dog kept following, and when Changbin closed himself into his truck, hands on the wheel, he heard a whine. And the beautiful dog was standing halfway up the stairs of his truck. He couldn't leave like this.

And suddenly there's a huge white Shepard wagging his tail in Changbin's passenger seat. Changbin thinks about where's the next closest grocery store for dog food on his route.

~

AND SO changbin has a dog. He calls him Chris, takes care of him, and loves him. Even though changbin becomes less lonely... he can't forget Bang chan.

And hints of him start showing up even after Chan is long gone. It's only changbin & Chris, right?

Blah blah blah, Changbin finds out Chan & Chris are the same. Chan is a weakened ancient wolf spirit that has now taken the form of a fluffy doggy that hitchhikes older men driving by. He's too weak to actually hurt anybody now, unless you know, he stabs them with a knife or something. Even he won't risk attacking someone in his dog form. So he relies on his human form's looks, tricks, and cute dog form to survive.

Changbin is someone he gets attached to, so he ended up following him & thankfully, the trucker is a very caring man & took him in.

~

Then BOOM they fall in love & kiss & drive into the sunset happily ever after

Sorry for typos I was rushing & excited

Pls feel free to talk to me about binchan anytime hehehe

[binalakai]

sometimes i really wanna speak up against whats its like to recognize gaslighting and abuse and manipulation right in front of you no matter how much concrete proof you have . you can have recordings, screenshots, witnesses, everything in the world. but suddenly YOURE the bad awful person for being paranoid about those things in the first place. YOURE the shitty one for trying to form safety nets in case you recognize patterns and try to make do with what you can to survive in a chaotic situation its what i feel like i was born for, like ive been preparing my entire life for it. . i couldnt avoid it both on and offline. thats just been my entire life, of having concepts and experiences im supposed to make sense of and being told that whatever i have just isnt true. or even if it is True "it just isnt fair. its just not fair to human beings just trying to grow" as if the people around you trying to grow too are just stepping stones towards a comfortably uncomfortable guilty conscious that Just ...makes sense to have for some reason???? it feels weird growing up in a world that's trying to change too as much as you are. with maybe a handful of people that genuinely are trying. and failing, but trying really hard to be good people because thats whats Easy to Want. HARD to do but really really Easy to want because its expected and taught and celebrated to be that way. i have to respect it but. man u also gotta remember that people are, most of the time, happy with what they believe.. even if it means Sacrificing that Very Ideology. ironically enough they can be the same people that crave goodness as much as they betray it.. as much as they can sometimes even excuse their want for goodness to commit unforgivable actions. even when things get better its hard to disregard when times were worse and not knowing why it had to be that way. and unless you really jeopardize your own safety and privacy, and lose loved ones you really care about in the process because of Differences in Values/Morals, all for the sake of a self perceived Form of control and Agency over your life...it truly isnt fucking worth it. defending yourself. youre free to argue against me saying that there is merit in standing up for yourself but until you're in a space with open minded people that wont openly deny whats in front of them its. torture nearly. to deal with that. im lucky that i care more about my ideas than people. people are just numbers but the types of people u can find yourself surrounded with from caring about your own ideas truly is in control of your Own hands.,,,most of the time. i am in awe completely over people that are okay with being the victim. im even baffled by people that find some sort of safety in that, like its something to be proud of.. or people that will straight up find Comfort in believing that they are a victim of something even when the things that theyve done are completely by their own hand. i find the identity of being a "victim" exhausting and horrible to live with. therefore i actively choose to Not Be It even when i know in objective terms that I am, that's not what *my* reality tells me. so i dont.

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

You don't have DID youre just possessed by demons. You don't have trauma, no shitty worthless ass last born child has trauma, lastborns are abusive by nature and immune to trauma because they're spoiled. Firstborns are the ones who get abused, who get famous, who get murdered out of jealousy, who are more successful and smarter because they matter more. Just admit you're faking trauma, DID, the whole disorder salad, just to be cool since youre a narcissistic attention whore and I'll leave you alone. If you don't, I will send the most deranged and scarring asks to your slutty little "friends."

Oh, and a little fact if they try to say I'm trolling. Lastborns are manipulative, self centered, everything youd describe a narcissist with, all by birth. They never have trauma, their lives are perfect because they're not human enough to suffer or have feelings. You're right when you admit you're a narcissist. I'm not done yet, I still have your "i want trauma why do i want trauma why was i born this way" vent I'm gonna use to prove you're faking and expose the real you.

this is probably true

again, really, thanks for reminding me how worthless i am and other shit im too mentally exhausted to repeat because your list of my faults is so long.

ion gaf what u do to me, but leave our fucking friends alone. and theyre not sluts. if ur calling them that bc they like older men and classic rock and shit, just fuck off.

also thanks for showing that u know pop psychology, it shows that u know more about shitty outdated stigmatizing pop psych than u do real psychology and actual psychological science.

ik ion hv a life so i cant say "go get a life" but i can say fuck you, stop ruining mine.