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#i feel the pain here i reallly do
zoeykallus · 1 year
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I don’t know if you like writing angst very often but I can’t get the idea out of my head- where the batch is involved with a Jedi but their chip activates. They survive but they definitely don’t get away unscathed. And maybe if you’re feeling reallly angsty they reunite after the chip removal.
(You’re super talented btw I love everything you write❤️❤️)
Aloha!
Well, it always depends a little on different factors sometimes, generally I'm not averse to writing angst. On some days I might not feel up for the task, I pick another ask to do first and then come back to the angsty stuff.
I do like this one, 'cause honestly, I asked myself "what if" in this scenario a couple of times. Thinking of how scary Wrecker was under the influence of the chip, this is definitely worth looking into.
Thanks for the input, and thanks for your sweet words!❤️❤️
The Bad Batch x Jedi!Reader - Order 66
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Warnings: Angst/Hurt/Tension/Violence - Don't worry, you get a Happy End this time too!
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You thought you are safe, the chip your batcher has isn't functional. You are wrong. The headaches he’s been having, should have worried you more.... "Good soldiers follow orders"
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Hunter
Your heart races. There is no way to kill him, you don't want to. You have to be fast, or you might not have any other options left. Hunter already shot at you, you are limping, your leg hurts where his blaster hit you. Clenching your teeth, biting down against the pain, you limp from hiding spot to hiding spot. But you know, he can smell you, Hunter knows where you are. For the first time ever, you are scared of that man, really scared and infinitely sad. Pain, fear, confusion, desperation. All at once. It was hard to focus, to stay calm. It feels like you are on the run for hours already, but it's just a few minutes so far.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are! You know you can't hide from me, I can smell your fear"
You gulp, jump up, out of your hiding place above him and hit him with the grip of an axe you found, to knock him out.
Looking down on Hunter lying there, you feel so shaky and breathless.
"Sorry, hun, you didn't give me a choice", you whisper, softly kiss his forehead and leave.
There will be more clones coming your way soon, you have to leave him where he is. You don't want to, but you have to.
Months later:
"I thought I smelled your scent"
You freeze. Did you really hear that voice? Slowly you turn around, your hand is wandering to your lightsaber, but not drawing it yet.
It is him, Hunter. As he sees your hand going for your saber, he says softly, "Easy, Mesh'la, I'm not here to hurt you"
"Last time we met, you tried to kill me", you say quietly.
Hunter sighs, looking down for a moment, as he looks back up again you see how sad and ashamed he is about that fact.
"I didn't have any control. I tried, I was fully aware, but I couldn't stop what was happening. It felt like... I don't know how to describe it but, it felt like I was controlled by someone other than me"
He shrugs, looking a little helpless.
"Look", he says softly, "You didn't know I was here, I could have killed you already if that was still my goal"
You swallow, you can feel your eyes burn and watering.
"Are you my Hunter?"
He nods, saying, "Yes, Mesh'la, I am"
As you let yourself fall into his arms, you shake and softly sob at his chest, your fingers digging into his back. He was real, Hunter was back, your Hunter.
"I missed you", you whisper.
Hunter kisses your temple, hugging you closer and says, "I missed you too"
Echo
Him suddenly attacking you was a shock to say the least. He hit you pretty hard with his scomp link, had almost knocked you out. By now you've outrun him, at least you think so. Your head hurts, you feel shaky and somehow disconnected from reality. Echo is hunting you, his chip is activated somehow. That is real. Not a bad dream. Reality. It doesn't feel real, but it is. It's hard to come to terms with this cruel reality, but you have to face the facts. Echo will kill you if you let him, you need to stay away from him. Still feeling a bit dizzy from when Echo hit you, you stagger from one hideout to the next.
You mutter to yourself, "This is so unreal"
Looking up because you feel it coming, you see Echo trying to jump you. You can barely avoid him. Reaching into the Force, you grab him and smack him against a wall. It was more of a reflex without thinking, than a reaction. Heart pounding, you stand over his unconscious body. He is clever, and he knows you, he managed to sneak up on you. Echo almost had you. The thought of him really killing you, creeped up and down your spine.
"Sorry, sweetheart", you whisper, "I love you, but I can't stay"
Months Later:
A strange message made you come here, someone wanted to meet you here. It's an old place where Echo and you used to meet, secretly. You are aware, this could be a trap, but you still had to come.
"Cyare"
Your heart jumps into your throat. Turning around, you see Echo approach you. His face, his eyes, you can see right away, he is your Echo again. You don't even think about reaching for your lightsaber.
"Echo", you say quietly.
He stops a few steps away from you, he looks so shy and nervous, like the first time you met at this place.
"I'm so sorry", he says, his voice almost failing him, "For what I did. The chip activated and... the worst part is, I was fully aware, the whole time, but I couldn't stop myself from trying to... kill you"
He swallows and adds, "Honestly, I didn't think you'd come"
A few tears run down your face, but you smile at him.
"I had to come, Echo"
He comes closer and hugs you, softly at first but finally pressing you against his body, shaky and silently sobbing.
Wrecker
He is scary! He pries open doors you hide behind, he smashes obstacles in his way with his pure strength. You know what will happen if he gets his huge hands on you. Those hands which had touched you so lovingly before, hands that now want to crush you. And he literally can if he gets you. Somewhere in the back of your panicked mind, you already hear your own bones crush. Your sweet giant is anything but sweet, right now. You know it's not his fault, it's that rotten chip in his head. Rex warned you about it, but it seems like you still didn't act fast enough. You feel him coming closer and duck. Wrecker rams a dent into the dura-steel wall where just a second ago your head has been. That hit would have crushed your skull, easily.
Making evasive maneuvers, almost dancing around him, you try to think of something to end this and help him. But you know, for now you have to give up and run. You can't carry him, and you know he's called for imperial back-up. You need to leave, now.
As you knock him out with a Force blow and leave him there, you do it with a heavy heart. Not sure if you ever see him again and if so, if he will still want to kill you.
Months Later:
"Mesh'la?!"
You wheel around, startled. You know that voice. As you see Wrecker approaching you in the middle of a marketplace, you look around alarmed, searching for Imps. But there are none.
"It is you! It's really you"
Wrecker has the biggest smile on his face, looking at you with watering eyes. You can see he wants to hug you, but he's holding back.
"Wrecker", you say softly, "You are not here to kill me, are you?"
He shakes his head.
"No! Of course not! I'm so sorry for what happened, I wasn't in control, but I still knew what was going on and..."
You softly place your hand on his chest.
"I know, Wrecker, it's okay"
A few tears roll down his sweet face.
"Can I hug you, please?"
Your heart beats faster, and you nod with a smile. Wrecker softly grabs you with his huge hands and lifts you into his arms. Your own arms wrap around his huge shoulders, and you nestle your face in the gape between his neck and shoulder.
"I missed you so much", he says, hoarsely.
Tech
It's a nightmare, at least that's what it feels like. You wish it was just a nightmare. Tech's got you pinned down, and you are struggling against his grip. He is clever, he knows all about you, it was way too easy for him to catch you and knock you off your feet.
"Tech! Let go of me!"
"You are in violation of order 66 ugh-", you ram your knee into his stomach interrupting him.
"I'm sorry, Tech, I don't want to hurt you, but you leave me no choice!"
Tech is grunting, struggling to his feet and trying to reach for his teaser. You know what he's about to do, and kick him again. The teaser slips out of his hands and clatters to the ground, sliding away over the floor.
Hastily, you jump to your feet. You know he won't give up, and you know he's way too clever, knowing too much about you. You have to knock him out and run for it.
"Jedi!", he spits out as if the word is bile in his mouth.
Seeing your sweet Tech like this, hurts so deep. You love this man with all your heart, but right now he is not himself. You know you have to fight him, and the thought alone, makes you break out in a cold sweat.
But there is no way around it, he's aiming for you again, this time he has one of his blasters back. You reach out into the Force and knock him against a wall, knocking him out.
"Fuck", you swear silently.
You are shaky and feel so down, but you have to leave him. You can hear other Troopers, they are looking for you too.
Months Later:
You feel him watch you before you see him. As you look around, searching for the eyes watching you, you see him standing not too far away, watching you timidly. As your gaze meets his, he lowers his eyes, looking to the ground.
Of course, you approach him. Standing right in front of him, you softly say his name and ask him to look at you.
Tech is hesitating, but finally he looks up.
"Cyare", he says, barely above a whisper.
You cup his face in your hands, smiling at him.
"You are my Tech again, aren't you?"
He nods, still whispering, "I'm so sorry, please forgive me"
He sounds and looks so heartbroken, you almost want to cry for him. Instead, you kiss him softly.
"There is nothing to forgive. It wasn't your fault"
Very suddenly, he breaks out of his frozen state and hugs you, hiding his face at your neck, mumbling soft, loving words.
Crosshair
You reached the clinic too late, just shortly before his chip is supposed to be removed, that hellish thing takes over his mind. He gives you one hell of a fight. You are bruised and limping, barely still standing, and he is still biting at your heels. The place is crowded, people are in panic, and you know soon, it would be crawling with imps too. You need to get out.
Crosshair jumps you at a corridor crossing. He lunges himself at you like a wrecking ball. You scream and groan under pain as he tears you to the ground with him. He's got no weapons with him, not even his armor, because he was already getting prepared for the procedure, when shit hit the fan. But Crosshair is not holding back, still attacking you.
As he lays his hands around your neck and squeezes, for a second you can just look up at him, in horror, shock and disbelief.
"Good soldiers follow orders..."
But shortly after, everything happens like a reflex. You ram your knee between his legs, right before you use the Force to throw him off of you and against a wall.
Gasping for air, you struggle back to your feet. Your heart is heavy, yet your pulse is racing. It's not easy to turn your back on him. But right now, you don't have a choice, time is running out.
Months Later:
"Hey, Kitten"
You freeze in your movement, even holding your breath.
"Keep breathing", Crosshair says softly, "It's just me"
Slowly you turn around and see him standing there, tall and handsome as ever, chewing on a toothpick. You don't know what to say or do, so you just stand there for a long moment, looking at him.
He shrugs, obviously not really knowing what to do and says, "I'm myself again, the chip is out of my head"
You nod, "Good for you".
It's one of his standard answers he used to give you when he mocked you, back in the day. Crosshair chuckles because he gets the little hint, and you can't help but smile.
He comes closer and admits, "I missed you, and I was very worried about you"
"If you'd be looking out for me, you wouldn't have to worry as much", you say softly, as he tenderly grazes your cheek with his knuckles.
Crosshair says with a smirk, "Don't you worry about that, I won't let you out of sight anytime soon"
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Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)
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@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99
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@misogirl828 @tech-deck
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Text
𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚 𝐛𝟎𝟎𝐛𝐣𝟎𝐛
ℛℰ𝒬𝒰ℰ𝒮𝒯ℰ𝒟
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You work as a plastic surgeon making around 250k a year and is currently giving a lady lip fillers. It took about an hour and once you were done and the lady confirmed that she loved it, she paid, left a tip, and exited your room. You put up your tools and cleaned some while you waited for the next patient. You were in the middle of disinfecting your needle holders when you heard the door open.
You turned around to see a boy with yellow-orange hair who seemed extremely nervous but when he saw you, he blushed greatly and then smiled widely, as if he was never nervous in the first place.
“Hello, you are…”
You rolled your chair to your desk and looked at your clipboard and saw the name of your next patient on your list.
“Zenitsu Agathsuma, right?”
He nodded eagerly and you gestured for him to sit down, and he did.
“And what’s your name, pretty lady?”
He said as he gazed at you dreamily and you giggled a bit.
“Y/n L/n, so here it says you’re getting a boob job, is that correct?”
All of a sudden, all his anxiety returned and it was clear on his face that he was scared and he shyly nodded. You gave him a reassuring smile as you placed the needed tools down.
“No need to be nervous, it won’t hurt too much and I bet you will look great afterwards.”
His eyes lit up and he smiled brightly when you said that.
“You really think so?”
He gushed and you nodded with another smile which made him even more giddy. You made sure he was out from the anesthesia and once you confirmed that, you began the procedure. It took you around two hours and you finally finished and waited for him to wake up. 
Once he did wake up, he saw you filling out paperwork and felt that his chest indeed felt bigger but it also felt sore. He was still embarrassed about coming to obtain a better and bigger chest because he was desperate for ladies to like him. 
“Oh, you’re awake, that's good, how do you feel?”
You asked him as you stopped what you were doing and fully turned to him.
“Owww, my chest feels so soreeee.”
He whined and you chuckled a bit.
“Don’t worry, it will heal in about 6-8 weeks.”
“6 TO 8 WEEKS?! THAT’S SO LONG!”
He exclaimed and you figured that this was his first plastic surgery and wasn’t prepared for it in the slightest. People who had experience with plastic surgery or had done some research would normally know that it would take time to fully heal. He looked at you with big round eyes and asked.
“Do you think I’m more attractive? If you saw me outside would you date me?”
He asked with so much hope, you did find him adorable and clingy although you weren’t one to date your clients.
“Yes but it will come sooner than you think, now here’s the total and will you be paying in cash or card?”
He blushed and loudly squealed.
“REALLLY?!”
You nodded and Zenitsu took the cash out of his pocket and handed it to you with a bright grin. As soon as you took it, he groaned again and held his chest.
“If I knew it would’ve been this much pain I may have reconsidered.”
He continued whining as he left and you just sighed and went back to your desk to clean up for the day.
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halo-lll-odst · 9 months
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ok anyway continuing from this post
wanna preface this with i am still pretty new to writing and just figuring shit out as i go 💀but i REALLLY wanted to write shit for my ocs. feel free to leave any criticism u have ok here i go gonna start with the poems first. none of these really have names so i'll just put dividing lines between them ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a tongue tied by years of misuse flower petals disintegrating under the sweltering sun my eyes are pained by the sight
i remember your hands well held together by adhesive, too unreliable otherwise yet they were loved all the same
i don't know how something could've gone so wrong
a heart stretched thin by decades of mistreatment a cold snow drifting over the landscape my eyes are shut
i don't want to remember it anymore. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ what is a body defined by? its shape? its volume? a body should be made of flesh, so thought the unwise but i myself am a shining example contesting that
the point where a blade cuts meat, that is where i lie a singlehandedly unique experience among the other cutlery it's either this or that, but i am neither a part i walk lines filled with uncertainty
does a butcher consider this? does a butcher ever stop to think? a new creature made from gore and metal, born in his shop perhaps he doesnt ever realize it perhaps i'm never going to be seen.
my body buried beneath the earth, yet i still horrifyingly remain my flesh has sloughed away in ripples, yet again, i remain metal scratches and whines as it glides over similar structures my blood may have turned to mist aeons ago, but i will still be here
i watch and wait for a similar experience cutting through cartilage and snipping tendons with stainless steel replacing beautiful blossoms with polymers day by day i shift and warp
i am something subhuman. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    i keep my still heart close and my knives even closer
drifting through a confusing, uncaring world knowing only how to float along the winding roads they no longer speak to me their chords all ringing wrong
stepping on pedals, seeing what they do testing them with reckless abandon, just wanting to hear something similar it's a billion to one, i've checked it time and time and time again my song is never going to play for me anymore
the music playing before me falls onto deaf ears it irks me, but what can i do? this world has moved past me with little regard i cant help but grasp the handle as tight as i can
i'm losing my grip i can feel it with every millisecond that passes this world turning into a blur of sounds and sights and i have no say in it
can you blame me, then? for being so fierce and fearful? the sands of time trying to wash me away yet i'm going to keep carving my place here with every fiber of my being
i'll keep on carving as long as i need to even if it drowns the song out with knives so polished it mirrors your every move placing my body into the scales, becoming one with an object
perhaps i'll create a new heart, just for me a place to restore my once lost rhythms my personality built from the ground up made of wood and glue
i'll keep on carving and if i don't, cut my strings let me drift into freefall i'll be damned if i can't find a place for this still heart
i'm keeping my promises and i'll keep my knives even closer than before ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok now for the actual fics and shit :D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hey. it's me  you awake? > mmhn > yea i'm awake  good.  hey, look, i-... i'm sorry. > ?  i just  ugh.  fuck. > that's a new one coming from you  oh, hush > LOL > but besides that > i'm not gonna be able to take an apology i don't know the purpose of  i know i know i know  i just  need to collect myself. > ok  i'm. sorry for what i did to you. you shouldn't have ever ended up as... this.    > it's ok  it's really not. i went behind your back. i never told you what i was doing. i planned so much and told so little, you deserved to know.  i'm a terrible mother. > ...  don't feel obligated to say anything, please.  i messed up. > stop  i messed up and your whole life is different now. if i h > mom  ad just let you go peacefully, things would > Mom.  be okay > MOM > i'm sorry, i had to get your attention somehow  it's okay, i probably deserve that. > now you hush > but i don't think you're as evil as you think you are. > you may have messed up, sure, but your heart was in the right place. > isn't that all that matters? > sigh > look, i'm not going to pretend this hasn't taken its toll on me. > but there's no sense in mourning over a missed opportunity. > might as well roll with it  i guess you're right. > see  how many times are you going to make me tell you to hush? > LOL but i guess you're right. i just, hope we can move past this. i'm sorry i interrupted your recharge cycle > how many times are you going to make me tell you it's ok?  hush. > hee hee hee but, seriously. you're at low charge last time i checked, which was no more than an hour or two ago. you should go back to bed. > you're not my mom :p  i have bad news hun, i am. i love you. > love you too  goodnight. > same to you, and hey  yeah? > good luck with work in the morning ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > journal 63. 2 months already, wow. > i don't really know how to open this one, so i guess i'll just start with the usual stuff. i drove a little over 14 hours today, got caught in traffic maybe 30 minutes or so outside of des moines which pushed the 13 hour drive to 14, but i made it from the love's stop in battlement mesa colorado to the one outside edmond oklahoma. don't really know why those ones are always my choice, but the workers have this air of exhaustion about them that lets me slip by without any worries. they always have good electronics i can scavenge from too. > i would've taken the route through kansas instead, but there was loads of rain forecasted throughout the state. didn't want to have to just park my semi on the side of i-70, would've almost certainly gotten the highway patrol called on me. > i was kind of thinking though, when going through one of the smaller towns, hartley, just how wide and vast so much of this part of the states is
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> my current image encoder sucks ass, sorry future me, but you can see a small semblance of what i mean > and i don't ever like to be the type to mull over things for too long, but i got to thinking, just how the hell did i get here? > seriously, i mean my case must be one in a million, right? > hell not even that generous. one in... fuck. i don't even care to count right now. but crunching the numbers super quickly of just how many of the people like me there were in that facility, and maybe in others, that's... what, 500 people, max? i'm just pulling numbers out of my ass, again, i don't care enough right now to do statistics and likelihoods of there being other facilities. but from what i am now, it doesn't seem like something that would just be thrown to the side. > damnit, i'm rambling again > my point is that i divided that random guess number by the current population, and got 0.0000000803083841953. that's a 0.00000803083841953% chance that some random schmuck on the side of the street is like me. > some mechanical fucking freak. > i don't know why i'm getting so angry all of a sudden, but i just wish i had an explanation. > i wish i knew why i ended up like this. > the only thing i remember before waking up on that glitchy old ms-dos computer (bless their soul, they were trying their hardest, but i could tell they hadn't seen maintenance in years) was a doctor telling me that i needed surgery again. > and i don't think in all my years in and out of the hospital that THIS was ever an option. > i didn't choose this, and i sure as hell don't know what to do now > lord > i hate being angry. i really honestly do, but i don't know what other emotion to rely on > i'm frustrated. > i don't even know where to begin. > who do i tell this shit to? sure i have internet access, but forums only get you so far. do i just scream at a wall until it crumbles? > i thought not having medical issues would help me. > clearly fucking not. > what's that one book > i have no mouth and i must scream? > that > where do i even go from here > i can keep driving forever virtually. > i could keep driving and driving and driving until i'm found out by the cops and deconstructed or whatever > i don't know how i thought life would be any easier if all my issues were just lifted away > i'm just lost and drifting now > i can keep creating but that's only going to keep me sane for so long > fuck > at this point i'd be content with some random scientist coming up to me and telling me why i'm this way all of a sudden and why this happened and what to do > i just need a sense of direction > i just need a fucking sense of goddamn direction. > i'm scared and this body can't feel exhaustion > i can't just sleep this off i can't just reset my brain > i can't do anything to stop this damn nagging fear > i don't think i've ever had to confront something this way before > i'm rambling and i'm panicking and i can't even cry about it > closest i can get is spinning up my fans faster than light itself > if there's a god, he's sure as hell laughing at me > i don't know how to end this entry > i'm just stressed > i wanna go home and see my mom > i want things to go back to normal > whatever > i can't deal with this right now. i'm leaving this for now. fuckin hell. > til tomorrow future me. > night i guess. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ok those are all i have rn :3 hope u emjoyed and criticism/comments or anything are always appreciated!!!!!  btw sorry these are all kind of out of order on the in universe timeline, i posted them in order of when i wrote them (save for the 4th thing i wrote that first but wanted to group it with the other fic). also the first poem is written by the one character who types like “> this”’s mom. the next two are written by her herself also i can explain these ocs story a bit if you want!!!!!!
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d33zn33tz · 1 year
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hey hey hey hey I saw your prompt which basically went "Tangled au Gm" so I just had to write it
Um, apologies for the any misspellings or rushness, it's reallly difficult to edit on Tumblr. This is brought to you by someone who never watched tangled in it's entirely but have listened to the og rapunzel story where who healed a prince from blindness when they were 7
If it isn't any trouble, could you tag this for gerrymicheal? I would put it on my blog and tag you but is too shy to do it. If not that's alright.
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Michael’s grip on his shoulders along with how his hair wrapped itself around his arms keeps Gerry from looking away from him.
In another time, Gerry would've thought he looked beautiful.
Downy golden hair that framed Michael's face, the sun's light making his face glow with warmth, two wonderfully dark eyes looking directly at him.
But all he could see was the desperation in Michael’s face.
“She sent you on a fool's journey." Michael tells him in an almost resigned shock, like he wasn't too surprised at the revolution. "This is meant to kill you."
Huh? His brain frozed at those words. No, she wouldn't do that.
No, she wouldn't straight up send him to his death. Sure, he had to fight viscous monsters under her order and she wasn't very nice but sending him to his death felt out of character.
Gerry open his mouth to immediately defend Gertrude but stops.
"What do you mean?" He questioned, chosing to hear Michael out.
"The monster here, Gerry, it can’t be killed." Michael explains, loosening his grip on Gerry then moves away so he isn't right up Gerry's face. "It simply can't, believe me, I tried. Many people tried."
"Run." Michael tells him, "Run while you still can. As far as you can, it can’t chase you and I can’t be saved."
----
"Have you ever been betrayed before Gerald?" Michael asks, sweet and cold, still looking out the window. "By a person you thought you could trust?"
Gerry felt his blood run cold as his gut tells him something very wrong is happening, "Um."
Gertrude technically betrayed his trust but he didn't know that until Michael told him and even then he only felt shock. There was his mother but he learned to not trust her from the very start.
Michael had turn his attention away from the window, staring at Gerry with cold eyes. "Have you?" He repeats, jumping down from the window.
"Have you?" Michael repeats, backing Gerry into a corner.
Suddenly he towering over Gerry, with limbs completely out of proportion and Gerry realize that this wasn't the Michael he feel in love with.
But he realized too late as a knifelike finger attempts to drive into his chest. He narrowly managed twist himself around to it only drives into his side.
"Now you have."
It burned cold. Fire and ice attacking at his senses, not canceling out. He could feel it almost hitting his lower ribcage, probably just millimeter away from bone.
The finger pulled itself out and he falls to his knees, gasping in pain that he never had felt before.
Hand were on his body as he heard Michael, the real one, not the one he had been hanging out with, swore.
The blood- his blood- was a multicolored hue on the creature's finger. Gerry looks down and saw as streaks of color spewed out along with red.
He felt sick seeing such bright colors coming out, something inside him squirming from the unnatural shades. He look up at Michael, wondering why wasn't he using his powers.
"Don't. It doesn't work." Michael whispers, covering the wound with his coat. "It never had."
"This spell can't keep me here forever Michael," It says cruelly as it watches them from the side. "You knew that you can't keep me in this human form in this tower right?"
"You can't trap a concept," Gerry echoes as he watches the entity slowly approach them, hand outstretched, reaching.
Then it dawns on him. "You can't trap a concept."
His fingers fumbled for the dagger, his hand shaking as he holds the knife under Michael's hair.
"Ger-!" He advert his eyes away from Michael’s face and with one swift motion, the blade sliced through the hair.
The effect was instant.
The unnaturally saturated yellow of Michael's hair dulled into a nice sandy almost brown, whatever left of the tangled mess of curls seemed to smooth out into nice waves.
The tower began to crumble as the monster began to shriek.
It screams at him, the sound bouncing around but before it can do anything, the tower shakes and the floor underneath it breaks. Sending the creature falling to the ground.
Through blurry eyes, Gerry could see it shed its human look into something more incomprehensible, colors and shapes stacked ontop of each other that vaguely resembled a person as it fell.
He looks away before he can see it land.
The burning ice sensation from his wound seem to disappear alongside the creature, leaving only a constant stinging agony.
"Try- Just try." Gerry gasp, black spots taking over his vision.
His eyes closed unwittingly but he could hear Michael's voice waver out the song, trying to remain steady.
The pain lessened as the song begins. Skin knits together and Gerry opens his eyes again.
Michael's hair was gold again, floating around his face but it wasn't as dramatic like the literal feets of hair. His face was pinched in concentration, the words being forced out his mouth.
"What was once mine." Michael's hair flickered bright yellow once last time as the song ends then faded back to brown.
Michael open his eyes slowly, afraid to see if Gerry had died and the song didn't work.
"It worked, Michael." Gerry breathlessly, carefully moving his hand to hold Michael's cheek. "It worked. You can open your eyes."
"You are a fool. You are so stupid, Gerry. So stupid." Michael laughs through watery tears as he pulls Gerry up into a hug. "I love you so much."
Gerry smiles, feeling lighter than ever, and returning the hug. Using his thumb to wipe away the tears.
"I love you too." He says, kissing the side of Michael’s cheek.
Michael giggles and moves up to kiss Gerry on the mouth.
With pure adoration in his eyes and feeling like he was on cloud nine, Gerry returns the kiss eagerly.
Their life will start now.
----
I saw the prompt and had to bang this out in about 3 hours
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
I loved this, omg!! Thank you so much! I genuinely wasn't expecting anyone to write it, but now that you have, it's amazing!! :DD
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favoringeyes · 1 year
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hiiieie lena how was your day !! and do you have a favorite kagepro mv or any other kagepro character parallels to share ... 🎙️
HIII RUYAAAA my day yesterday was okay i was superrrrr tired though.. but i got to sleep lots today so it's okay. AND YES I ACTUALLY HAVE A TOP 10 KAGEPRO MVS LIST RIGHT HERE HEHE
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additional memory and children record reboot might be tied actually idk i just reallly realllllly like children record reboot it just is so. kagepro. like it just really feels like it has the essence and aesthetic of kagepro all mashed into one mv and it makes me really emotional. as for character parallels UHMMM momo and ayano smiles. IDK IF IM JUST MAKING STUFF UP HERE BUT GOD I SWEAR THEY HAVE SO MANY. momo felt like she had to take on everything herself by becoming an idol to help her family, even if it hurt for her she made sure to put on a smile despite everything. the instant she quit she broke down because she felt so selfish even though she was going through so much pain, but then she meets the mekakushi dan and everything changes. with them, she feels she can be her real self, she can be "selfish." and only then does she become the person she wants to be, does she become a hero for hibiya. i stg this directly parallels with ayano's arc, how she tried to burden everything herself bc that's what she believed being a hero was, when in reality she didnt have to fight alone. how she allowed herself to be selfish in reaching out to shintaro. how she was a hero to the mekatrio simply by being herself, even if she didnt realize it *head in hands*. ALSO ALSO saeru and seto giggle. i think ive already talked abt this so i'll try to keep it short but the way that seto almost worships marry really is similar to the way saeru regards azami. SO YEAHHH idk i might be just insane or smthn but i really go crazy over momo and ayano
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aalissy · 2 years
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Bulletin Board
Sorry I missed yesterday’s chapter! I got reallly busy! On the plus side, you get two chapters from me :). I hope you like this bit of post-reveal, post-relationship too :D
AO3
A breath of shock left her parted lips as she trailed a gloved hand along her bulletin board. Turning around, she blinked at the boy who was staring at her with a desperate sadness that she just didn’t understand. Shifting uncomfortably, she gestured back at the pictures littered all across the board. “S-so you’re telling me that this was... is us?”
“Yes...,” the boy wheezed out, looking pained. She felt her heart squeeze in her chest but she didn’t understand the reaction. It was almost like it knew something she didn’t. Because she didn’t know him. She could barely even recall his name. She closed her eyes shut tight for a brief moment, recalling that he called himself Adrien before literally whisking her up to her room. 
The boy... Adrien had been clutching her to him almost desperately when she had finally blinked awake in the abandoned corner that they were in. She shrieked, jumping back in shock because she didn’t know him. Why was he holding onto her?! And why was she in the weirdest costume ever made?! None of this made any sense... because the last memory that Marinette had was getting home from her first day back at school. So how had she ended up here with some guy she didn’t even know?
“Ladybug?” Adrien had asked uncertainly, taking a step towards her.
She frowned in confusion at the words. Ladybugs...? Where? She had blinked around the park uncertainly, trying to understand what he was talking about. Seeing nothing, she finally asked, “I-I’m sorry but who are you? A-and do you know why I’m dressed like this? Is there a costume party going on or something?”
His face had fallen and, for some reason, she felt her heart fall along with it. Feeling uncomfortable at the reaction, she had taken another step back away from him. 
Hurt raced across his features and he looked as though he was going to reach out to her before he stopped, pulling himself back. Adrien had then run a hand through his hair, blowing out a harsh breath. “You don’t know me at all, do you?”
She had cleared her throat, scanning his face for anything that she recognized. There was nothing. Wait... squinting her eyes, she stared resolutely into his green ones. With clear recognition, she snapped her fingers, ignoring the hopeful expression that had spread along him. “Wait! I do know you! I’ve seen you before on Gabriel Agreste’s posters! You’re his son, right?”
His hopeful expression shattered and Marinette was confused once more. What else had he been expecting? Shifting uncomfortably again, she made a move to get out of the cramped corner that they were in, just wanting to go home and take off this ridiculous costume. Maybe her parents would know what was wrong.
“Wait!” His arm reached out, holding her gently in place. Oddly, a weird burst of electricity shot up her arm from where he held her. Even with the costume on. She had yanked her arm back, staring up at him incredulously. Adrien had then given her a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his neck before mumbling, “Sorry.”
“Listen... I-I don’t know what’s going on but I’d really like to get home. It was lovely meeting you, M. Agreste bu-,”
“Adrien,” he cut her off, his sheepish grin replaced with a look of almost brave determination. “My name’s Adrien.”
“Okay,” she dragged out. “It was lovely meeting you, Adrien. But like I said I really need to get home.”
Taking a step forward again, Marinette just wanted to get home and take a long nap. Maybe after she woke up, she’d realize that meeting the son of her favorite fashion designer was just one big, crazy dream. After all, maybe that would explain the crazy costume that she was in.
“Wait!” Adrien cut her off again and she looked back at him with a huff. A small, grin formed on his face at her irritation before he moved a step closer to her. “Let me take you home.”
“You know where I live?” She frowned. Was he a stalker? That didn’t make sense. Why would a model be stalking her? 
His lips parted, and his mouth gaped open and closed like a fish. After a while, his own brow furrowed. “I don’t know how to answer that without sounding creepy,” he murmured.
For some odd, unexplained reason, Marinette giggled. She didn’t really know why she was laughing. That statement probably should have terrified her. But, somehow, she wasn’t scared. Confused? Yes, definitely. But not scared. Adrien had blinked at her in surprise before he was laughing too, giggling right along with her.
After she had taken a deep breath and gotten herself under control, she was surprised to find that Adrien was now holding a yo-yo in his hands. And, weirdly enough, it matched her red-and-black-polka-dotted costume perfectly. Confusion once again taking over her mirth, she tilted her head at him. “Where did you get that?”
“Can you trust me just this once, Ladybug?” He held out his hand, staring at her with a pair of earnest, green eyes. “I-I just have something I need to show you.”
There was that word again. Ladybug. What was he even talking about? And Marinette shouldn’t trust him. She knew that. After all, this was her first time actually meeting him. And yet, for some reason, she did. Scolding herself already, she reluctantly took his hand. Once again, she felt warmth race up her arm from where Adrien was tightly holding onto her hand. 
She squeaked in shock when he pulled her closer to him. Opening her mouth, she was about to ask him just what he was doing when she heard the whizz of a yo-yo fly through the air. Turning her head, she watched the string wrap tightly around a building’s chimney. Honestly, what was this boy doing? About to step away, Marinette squealed when he tugged on the string, sending them flying up into the air. 
Shrieking, she buried her face into his side, certain that this was it. This was how she died. And what an unfortunate death too. How many times had her parents told her not to trust strangers? Why she had decided to listen to him was beyond her. 
Yet, the crashing fall never came. In fact, the roaring wind which was, just a second ago, whipping around her, now fell down to a gentle breeze. Her feet touched down on solid ground and she breathed out a shaky sigh of relief. Shoving him away from her, she glared. “What on earth was tha-!”
Marinette’s shout fell short, though, when she took sight of her surroundings. They were on her balcony. How were they on her balcony? Choking out a gasp, she stared at him with a pair of wide eyes. 
“Please, Ladybug.” Adrien pleaded, flinging open her trapdoor like he had done it a thousand times before. “I just need you to trust me one more time.”
Indignation and anger surged through her. With a strangled scream, she tugged harshly on her pigtails. “Who or what is Ladybug?! I don’t know who you are! I don’t know how you got me here! And I just want to take a nap before I go back to school so will you please just go and leave me alone!” 
His lower lip wobbled as he looked up at her. Biting down harshly on her lower lip, she stuffed the apology that wanted to come out down. She didn’t know him! So why did she feel so bad about how hurt he looked? Standing firm, she crossed her arms against her chest. 
With an angry huff as she once again spotted her red-and-black-polka-dotted arms, she flung them down before grumbling. “Alright, whatever! I don’t care! I’m going into my bedroom and I’m going to take this stupid costume off once and for all!”
Jumping down into her bedroom, Marinette was surprised when a light thud sounded from behind her. Whirling around, she met his nervous, yet almost hopeful, face. Why was he still following her? Opening her mouth, she was about to yell at him to leave when he gestured behind her. Feeling fury overwhelm her, she turned back around only to be greeted with her bulletin board staring directly at her.
All of her anger had disappeared then, leaving her where she was now. Trailing her fingers along pictures that Marinette didn’t remember putting up. Pictures that replaced the ones of her and her parents. Pictures of her laughing, hugging, and kissing the boy behind her. 
“Marinette... Ladybug...” Adrien’s voice snapped her out of the confused fog that had settled around her. “Please tell me that you remember me now. That you remember us.”
“I-I...,” she trailed off, turning around to connect his sad, emerald eyes with her solemn blue eyes. “I’m sorry... but I don’t. W-what happened? I know you, right? S-so why don’t I remember you?”
Adrien blinked back tears that were billowing in his eyes and she hissed in a pained breath at the sight. She might not remember him or any of their memories... but her heart sure did with how it was trembling at the sight.
He chuckled darkly. Glaring down at her bedspread as he ran another hand through his hair. “It was all Monarch’s fault. You don’t remember him but he’s a supervillain who's been terrorizing Paris for years. And you... well, you’re Ladybug the superhero who's been protecting us from him. That’s actually why you have this ridiculous costume on.”
Adrien snickered softly, gesturing down at her costume. She shook her head, trying to understand. Supervillains... superheroes... magical costumes? Surely this was just all a dream. But it didn’t feel like a dream. And, at least she knew why he was calling her Ladybug. But her...? A superhero!? How?!  
He took a deep breath before continuing. “And, for a while now, you’ve been the guardian of the miracle box. A box that holds the creatures that give us our magical powers. But Monarch, he... well, he managed to steal most of these creatures but ours.”
“Wait, wait, our creatures?!” Ladybug’s eyes practically bulged out of her head. “What do you mean ours? Where’s your costume?”
Adrien grinned at her. “I have one too. I just wasn’t transformed like you were when Monarch threatened Paris. He... he said that if you didn’t give up the miracle box he would use every last superpower he had to hurt the civilians of Paris.”
“So I-I gave up this miracle box then? And then... then did that make me lose my memories?” She frowned.
“Yes. You gave it to me,” he said, giving her a sad, tiny quirk of his lips. “And, unfortunately, giving up the miracle box does make you lose your memories. And I think that’s what Monarch was hoping for. That you’d be confused and alone and that’s when he’d strike and get your miraculous. Luckily, though, you were with me.”
Ladybug gave him a small smile, all at once relieved that Adrien was there to help her. If he wasn’t and she was confronted with a supervillain... well... it wouldn’t have been very good. 
“And you were the one who told me to bring you here. You said that the pictures would help you realize that I wasn’t lying. And I... I’m so glad you’re alright.” Adrien threw his arms around her.
She whooshed out a large breath as he hugged her to him tightly. Patting him on the back, she hesitantly wrapped her own arms around him. Somehow, as her heart trembled in her chest, she just knew that he was telling the truth.
“Don’t worry, Ladybug.” Adrien sniffled, leaning back to look her in the eyes. “We’ll get your memories back. Together. I’m sure Su Han knows a way for us to fix this. And I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to make you remember again.”
Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, she shakily nodded her head at him. “A-alright. I trust you, Adrien.”
With that final murmur leaving her lips, this time Ladybug threw her arms around him. She felt safe in his arms. Together she knew that they would figure this out.
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bestie i would get it i literally shove down events all the time. seeing how its affected you though has actually made me realize how bad it was /srs
and fun fact! the other day i thought about one that was getting to me reallly hard! and to be honest, during it i felt like absolute shit! but after i did, i felt better than ever
you have to acknowledge how something feels to let it resolve itself, or else youre just going to have this nagging pain at the edge of your mind that wont ever go away
do you need to hear Here Comes a Thought from the popular show steven universe i will link you the vid
-wipanon
If I acknowledge it I'll forever have to try and hide it or he'll hate me. I am so terrified of that. I can't even allow myself the chance to slip up. This pain at the edge of my mind, I've gotten used to it after the years. I can't bare to think how much worse the pain could get if I'm not careful.
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ceciles · 1 year
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realized last week some time i slipped into depreso. just sort of numb and bored and my whole days are gone. i’m still doing things like reading, cleaning, short walks and seeing my friends for meals but i’m not doing the good for my soul stuff. it’s bc it’s dark and cold. i miss the boundless energy i was feeling in october. december is dark and on the other side i will be happier. but i don’t want to just wait for the time to pass. what can i learn from this? what got me out of the other rut? exercise, lean meals, sexy energy, waking up early, taking care of myself, meditation, deep breathing, journaling, scheduled trips to the coffee shop. taking up the task of being more intentional with my phone usage. why am i on here so much? avoiding a painful memory. why am i on here so much? it’s junk food - it’s happy feelings, the air of inspiration. i think once again i am needing to be inspired. remember feeling into curiosity. remember a need for discovery. i don’t need to slip into old, destructive thought patterns. i don’t need to tell myself i am unlovable. i have a chance right now to learn how to rest and how to plan - i can decide to take advantage of the slow times, instead of being restless. what do i reallly want? what if i was not afraid? what would i do, then?
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writinginthenight · 2 months
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do it again
little ones this time.
dont mess this up
your being fucking stupid.
thank god for the fact your over think instead of act on your thoughts.
this is why you don't let yourself be angry.
bc you will do bad things.
if there is one thing you shouldn't do its what your thinking about doing.
dont throw three years of love and joy down the drain bc you are angry over nothing.
breathe.
write poetry.
try not to do bad things.
dont scream. dont cry. dont hurt yourself.
above all else dont hurt the others.
dont
dont.
i wont let you.
i wont let me.
i will not let you hurt them.
you are angry and sad and emotional and i will not let any harm come to them.
what is this even.
your bain chemicals are being silly again.
shut the fuck up.
suck it up your being needy and posseive and crazy what are you doing.
your dumabass got attached to people and its my job to make sure you dont do any stupid shit so your gonna sit here and write.
write this until your back down to earth.
write until your reasonable.
why are you mad.
because you arnt the center of attention?
your being selfish.
there is nothing selfish in wanting to be cared about.
yes there is.
not for others.
but for you.
let me be selfish.
i am. im letting keep them.
like id really do it anyways
well you seem like you wold bc you withdrew so godanmm much. i know just how much its killing you that you did that. i know how much you miss them.
i still have some of them.
your lucky you do.
i know i am. i dont even deseve them anyways. they do so much for me and all i do is put more and more shit on them. thell leve one day too you know this.
they care about you why dont you just accept that.
i do accpt that thats how they feel * right now * thell get tierd of me like every one else i care about deeply. people say they care and you take advantge of that. you relay on them and they get sick of that. you know if you wernt so pathetic youd know this. you shounth have let yoursefl get this far.
your jsut as patheic as i am with your woe is me bull shit! you have to relay on peopl you love somtimes and you know we would immeadyly do the same for them.
i know but why is it always more. you would give your whole world to any one of them. for nothing and what do you get back? nothing.
thats not true tho. there your friends the give you their care and their kindness. look at your goddanm wall its full of their love.
to befair its mostly echo.
so??? echo loves you. youve never doubed that before.
shoud ahve seen me fifteen minutes ago.
i did.
and?
you were bing irrational.
how do you know that.
because i have eyes.
they were too busy crying.
it dosntn matter youbeing crazy. they love you.
do they.
of course.
why dont they do somthing.
alex and lanna have. why cant you accept that.
they were never the issue.
wasnt this a group issue. ?
it is and the others dont care.
you know thats not true.
its not like *ANY* have reached out.
thats your fault and you know it. youre the one who left with cheery world and the tone of i jsut need a little break. no one knows that somthing is wrong.
they should have put it together now. id be worried.
bro its been like six days. you said youd be a couplue days. id understd if its been months and months but six days.
so i should just wait longer?
no you shoud go back.
what was the point of any of this then.
it was to help* YOU * get better
yeahhhh cuz that worked out reallllllllll welll
it wasnt a good decision.
you shoud have deleted instagram too then maybe you could have reallly worried them.
we shoundnt be trying to worry them thats toxic behavior.
whos plan was this again.
it was deffinaly yours.
hey you apperoved it.
and i regeert that.
well it not like they reched out anyways so seems like i win.
its not a game??
well what is it then.
it dosnt matter waht is is they are people. they are your friends. they havent done anyting wrong. your the one in the wrong and making bad decicions that cause you pain.
well good bc i deserve to hurt.
no you dont.
well i want to.
well that dosntn mena you can hurt them in the process.
why. why cant i hurt them. they did this. theyre the ones that dont care. you gave me to them and they hurt me. why cant i hurt them back. why cant it tell them all to fuck off.
they did not do this YOU did this dumbass. you love them and so do i you love them with every beat. you cant hurt them because you care about them. not even you dont hurt people bc that is a vile evil thing to do and you know that. they are kind and loving and caring. and they care about you
why dosnt it feel like it then.
well its not like youve been particulary open woth your needs.
i was with jax? why dont they care anymore.
you know they do. you jsut cant be the center of therir atenttion right now. you have to accept that.
i dont want to accept that they made me feel cared for i miss them.
i know we both do but it cant be like that right now maybe it will go back to how it was in a littel while. ittle be fine.
doubt it but whatever. you know the cycle, your the one that reconsided it anyway. its the same thing janelle did and i over whemeed them with what i was. i did the same thing to them and you know it. im doing the same thing to alex rigth now. you know it wont be any different pretty soon. theywill get tierd of you too just wait.
i dont want to belive that it will be the same janelle was their own thing they had their own shit going on.
so what they TOLD YOU THAT how can you deny it. we were too much for them jsut like your were too much for jax and how you will be too much for alex. its a pattern. a loop. a cycle your stuck in destaned to repeat.
hey things will be different. peopel are comlpiciated and relationsips are messy you know that. you know all of this and insit on fighing me on it.
yeah i do.
you and i care. that is what makes us who we are. that is all we have.
i dont care anymore.
yes you do. you do. that is not negotiable so shut the fuck up and act like you do.
i care.
i care more than life.
i think im calmer now.
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creativeflowers87 · 3 months
Text
FEBUWHUMP DAY 9
CW: Dizziness, bees (obviously)
AN: wooo this one really didn't want to be written but I got it down anyways! enjoy
✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Calixto is really starting to regret bringing Emery along on her mini expedition.
So far, the pair had been sidetracked at least three times, once because neither were very good at using maps and twice because someone had gotten distracted by something-or-other and ended up getting left behind.
It reallly doesn't know how it's dealt with Emery for this long.
Because you love her, its brain says.
It tells its brain to shut up.
Calixto glances behind it, making sure Emery hasn't wandered off too much. To its lack of surprise, Emery has stopped in her tracks to take a look at some interesting looking tree.
Typical.
"Hiya, Em," Calixto calls, "Whatcha lookin' at?"
Emery doesn't answer for a moment, before realising that Calixto was talking to her. She blushes. "Oh, uhm, I saw a beehive."
Calixto hums. "Oh?" It steps back toward Emery. Sure enough, there's a beehive, dangling on a branch just next to the path on which they're travelling. "Neat," it says.
Emery grins. "Right?"
Calixto pauses. "Well," it says, "Better be goin'. We should be by—" it glances down at the map— "Lyansi by the end of today, if we're quick."
Emery huffs, but starts speed-walking in the direction they're supposed to be going. "A'right."
Calixto glances back at the hive for a moment, before rushing to catch up with Emery, who is already a good distance ahead. "Hi, wait up—"
As Calixto swings back around, it accidentally bumps its arm onto the beehive. It lets out a startled squeak at the contact, before realising what it just did, a second too late.
"Em! Wait up!" it calls, trying to shake off the mass amounts of bees currently covering their arms. It flinches every time it gets stung. Which is often.
Calixto is really regretting their decision to not wear long sleeves.
It sees Emery, still travelling ahead, completely unaware of the predicament Calixto has gotten itself into.
"Hiya, Em, would you mind getting the hell back here? Please?"
Finally, Emery hears Calixto calling to her, and starts to run back.
"Huh? What's—" she starts, but stops when she sees the bees practically blanketing Calixtos arms. "—problem. What did you do?"
Calixto lets out a weak laugh, but hisses as another bee (seriously, how many are there?) stings it. Thankfully, the swarm has already started to dissipate. "Well," it says, "I may or may not have bumped the hive a little— ow— when I was going to run up to you."
"Maybe," Emery agrees. She pauses. "Uh, alright. Do you have ointment or something in your bag?"
Calixto nods. "Well, uhm, can you be quick?"
Emery hums an agreement, already digging through Calixto's bag, which was left on the ground at the start of this entire escapade. She eventually finds the ointment in the bag, and after carefully shooing away the remaining bees and sitting Calixto down, starts to inspect the stings.
The bee stings cover both of Calixto's arms fully. Emery touches its skin, and it flinches. Emery looks up at its face; it looks a little bit dazed.
"Uhm," Emery says, "So, uhm, how do you feel?"
Calixto frowns. It was kind of wishing that Emery wouldn't ask that. "Well, uh, a little dizzy. And I have a bit of a headache. That's it though," it says sheepishly.
Emery mutters something under her breath. "A'right," she says after a second, "so, hopefully, uhm, Lyansi, was it? Has a good healer, or something."
Calixto nods, wincing as Emery prods at a particularly painful sting. "Yeah."
"So, uhm..." Emery hesitates for a moment. "We better get going, huh?"
Calixto takes a second longer to answer than it usually does. "Yeah."
Calixto starts to stand, but wobbles a bit. It barely manages to balance itself out. "Woah."
Emery frowns at it. "You okay? What's wrong? Need anything?"
Calixto shakes its head, vision whirring a bit as its headache grows, just barely, in intensity. "Nah, I'm just dizzy."
Emery tilts her head in confusion, but doesn't press further. "A'right. Let's go."
---
"You did a good job getting over here when you did," the healer says, poking a little at the stings. Calixto winces a little.
"Yeah," it says.
The healer hums, turning to Emery. "So, Em," they say, and Calixto suddenly gets an unexplainable wave of jealousy that this stranger already has a nickname for her best friend, "Em, and uh, Calixto, was it? I'll have to put you under for a bit, just to make sure that the venom hasn't caused too much damage, all that stuff."
Calixto breathes in. "Sure."
" 'kay. Hang ti—"
And Calixto passes out.
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autodot · 1 year
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i go back all the way down to see how life's progressing sometimes and i realize that maybe im not getting better
because, the same thing happens. over an over and over and over again
it gets tiring, it gets repetitive, it gets painful and everything else negative there is to say
i get it its my fault im ungrateful im gross im rude im unlikable im spoiled im stupid im everything disgusting thing to exist and i dont understand why im still here
im overthinking i know but just hear me out. what if i just killed myself just for one month
what if i just disappeared maybe things wouldve been better to everyone else and i know
i can tell actually
just now literally, a fucking obviously joke post got mistaken for a vent like post
am i really that bad to talk about how i really feel? or people are worried too much about a carcass that i am
i cant actually understand at all why its their fault either i dont blame them anything. for anything
but i do blame myself because i didnt specify i didnt clarify
i dont clarify things i just bottle it all up and wait until i cant hold it in anymore because apparently thats how i go
and yknow what? if the crown fits. wear it and thats exactly what I will do
sure maybe im sounding so random and weird talking or whatever other fucking word people use in this to tell that ive lost my mind and honestly sure yeha sure okay
i dont care anymore
i wont care anymore . not about myself nope
thats reallly stupid ha
tbh maybe thats reason im unintentionally pushing others away but what else is there for me to do about it? get better? i tried, didnt work so might as well i guess
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the-houseryn · 1 year
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Oh gremlins, fanfiction has got me fired up. I’ll set the scene. Anal sex with a penis. Virginal asshole. Never even seen a toy. No prep. Single shove in. But, lube was applied to penis (small miracles)
Here’s the thing, creatures, I understand that many people who write anal sex likely have not experienced it. It makes me cringe when I see things like no prep, or completely dry, but I understand and move on. Rewrite in my head, call it a day. Whatever. It’s fanfiction.
However, this author wrote at the end in the notes about why they included no prep and supplied links to “real gay men” and how ff writers should really think about changing their writing to “real gay men”. Which that’s what pissed me off.
I read the links. Anecdotal and lacking nuance. A virginal asshole ≠ a frequently fucked one for tolerance of being entirely unprepped.
And I get it, yes listen to “real gay men” is such a lovely idea, sounds so what you’re supposed to do. And I relatively agree. You should listen to people with more experience, they’ve got plenty of things to share and teach. But “real gay men” are not the only ones having anal sex, and they are certainly not the only ones with assholes.
And you should always do your own research.
Academically is great for technicals but best yet when it comes to understanding the limitations and sensations of a body, honestly is sticking a couple fingers up your bum. A dildo. A realistic one for reallly good data. Try it dry. Try it unprepped. Any hardship, pain, etc you feel, it’s still in your control which will make it easier and less intense as if it was with someone else.
I’m not saying you have to experience everything you write about, I certainly don’t, but there are somethings in your own control to test or educate yourself on. If you choose not to, whatever, that’s on you, but don’t act like a fucking expert because you read a blog post by a “real person” that kinda fit your desired narrative.
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I drank wine for the first time today
Hello my name is ana, i am 19 years old and i have an addiction.
Here is the thing, I used to think i was very much above everybody else in whatever aspect of being human that i could think about, i think deep down everyone is sort of like that, but when you grow up feeling just a little too much not like most most people all you have to cling to is this false sense of superiority that might just be what keeps from thinking you’re worse than everyone around you in literally anything you could think of.
That brings me to, I feel like I am drunk, which is funny consedering how pathetic it is to know that the first time it happened I was very much alone in my room at a very ripe age and a little worrying since tomorrow I have my first ever driver’s lesson  and i reaally want things to go smoothly, but you know, you gotta do what you gotta do and ever since new year’s day and me standing surrounded by a bunch of people who felt like they never had one disorded thought in their life and for the first time the phrase “I am way too sober for this” crossed my mind I feel like drinking is an okay thing to do.
Bu here is the thing, I can get really reallly addicted to things as it turns out and partly because I”m tires of being a loser with a plastic bag filled with purge laying around my room in business hours partly because the 2023 high still has me on a chokehold, I decided to leave this weird ass life behind me, but since habits are a pain in the butt to break i thought why not make this whole thing to document it.
So here it is, my upcoming guide on how to be a somewhat decent person with a somewhat decent existence, stay around and keep tuned to see what kind of life trying to “RECOVER” brings me 
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re-ikrmso · 2 years
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another c!ikari ramble and thier goals during the remade arc. So. why did they want to ‘ruin’ eleven’s new world?
in text, they talk about a “quota” that was fulfilled in the last world and laments that they have to start over in the new one. Though its just as likely theyre saying that to give a more “direct reason” to oppose c!eleven
They fucming HATE c!eleven. Anything they do, they oppose. Spite. give eleven a “fuck you” even with how weak they are. And this world of eleven’s where anything could go his way, where the people are entirely powerless…well, ikari’s gotta go do some shit to his project world to show him hes not all that hot.
Boredom. theyre afraid that a “perfect” world would lead to nothing ikari can intervene or revel in. c!ikari doesnt often start things that have long direct lasting impacts on thier own, thier own storyline is often attached to c!cart’s and other people’s and rarely start any trouble themselves. until the remade arc. Then all thier lives are “perfect”. And then there is no more fun with any of ikari’s friends.
A “perfect” world is fundamentally wrong in thier eyes. what makes it wrong? it just…is. there HAS to be something horribly, HORRIBLY wrong and sick and twisted underneath that “utopia”. And Ikari is going to fcuking find it. And if there somehow isnt anything ikari can find, then theyll bring the pain the world needs back.
Yea, ikari aint the best person. theyre a jackass. but they are genuinely scared. like just. they cant put it into words or actual reasons but they know that eleven has just done something WRONG. The entire world was destroyed and then remade all in one persons’ taste, just because he could not accept one death (ikari spares no sympathy after nearly being killed by BOTH parties.) Ikari’s powers have been halved, they just got thier memories back, they dont know if theres anyone that remembers them or could help them, and now it’s revealed that thier former, egotistical friend (that has been proven to be dangerous time and time again) is fucking god of the world. Aka. ikari is seemingly alone in a remade world to eleven’s whims and under the mercy of a god that dislikes them. If theyre going to go out. If theyre staring the person that reset all thier efforts and had KILLED them before, then…well, they’ve got to keep thier cool, don’t they? Give eleven a solid “fuck you” before he inevitably punishes them for just breathing. Thats how ikari feels. even then it makes little impact, and they do eventually find out not all is “perfect”. C!eleven does not genuinely care about the well-being of anyone in his world except for few, ikari often makes her crimes as non-lethal as possible (often opting to promote fear over claiming lives but im not justifying them. its still wrong but im trying to highlight a difference between c!ikari and c!eleven here.) And then they find out cart’s still being hunted by gangs, and oh boy this world sucks but its not that bad! so they go back into old antics and…well it leads into the ending. im not talking about the ending though. ikari just. loses drive for her goal of “ruining” eleven’s world. She spends tome making bar drinks, spends a good chunk of that time with c!cart and helping them out, spends a decent chunk pf time not doing anything at all. like. sigh. c!ikari is the biggest asshole ever but not really but also is.
//im trying to be less biased when talkin about my characters and stuff but like. im reallly fond of them. eh. a lot of ikari’s actions are understandable but not right. same goes for eleven, honestly but. stuff. aughhh c!ikari i cant wait to get home to post more art
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bbyheedeungie · 3 years
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So Damn Wrong | Ex-Boyfriend! Jake AU
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Pairings: Jake x Reader ft. Na Jaemin
Genre: Heavy smut, angst
Warnings: oral sex in public place, unprotected sex, choking, cheating, toxic relationship
Synopsis: It's been months since you've broken up with Jake. Now dating Jaemin, Jake suddenly decides that he wants you back. And now, he's gonna make you his again one way or another.
"This is wrong Jake, we should stop." You say breathily, trying to stand up straight even though your legs begged to give in.
"You're right, so damn wrong." Jake says in between placing kisses on your chest.
"But why aren't you pushing me away, baby?"
Author's note: Ahh, my two favorite genres. Bye bye cinnamon roll Jake for now.
Three months. After ending things with Jake, you've managed to make it through three months of avoiding him at school, at the mall, and even in the neighborhood. You made sure not to run into him at the park, taking into consideration at what time and day he'd walk Lyala. Fortunately, it seems like he never made any attempt to reach out to you in those three months either. It was hell really. On the first week after the breakup, you did nothing but bawl your eyes out and eat sweets, refusing to go outside. He really broke you, cheated on you and made you feel unworthy of faithfulness. Every night, your insecurities ate you up, haunting you and asking you over and over what Jake saw in that other girl that you didn't have.
But storms never last forever, and one day you decided to just suck it all up. You were gonna be strong from now on. You're gonna be a whole new person, and you swore you'll never let anyone hurt you the same way again. And that's when you met Jaemin. Well, it wasn't really your first meeting, but it was your first time talking to him when the two of you were paired up for a school project. And one thing led to another, from simple late night conversations to making out inside his car on your third date, the two of you ended up together. And now, it's been 2 weeks since you've started dating Jaemin when you come face to face with Jake in the empty hallways for the first time in months.
"Y/N."
"Jake."
It was painful for Jake. Yep, it was all his fault. He had a choice and he chose to cheat on you with some insanely hot brunette. Only for him to realize what he lost when you've already walked out of his life. He really fucked up, and he hated himself everyday for it. But he chose not to chase after you, thinking you were better off without him.
But that didn't mean you were better off with someone else. When he heard the news, it felt like his whole world had stopped. As if his heart had come to a halt. It was too soon.
And then he saw yours and Jaemin's entwined hands as he walks you to your class, you give Jaemin a quick kiss on the cheek before waving good bye and Jake felt rage bubble up inside his chest. At that moment, he saw red. He wanted to punch something, to hurt something. Did he want to hurt Jaemin or did he want to hurt himself? He didn't know. It fucking hurt. To see someone else in his shoes. To see what could've been him treating you right. He couldn't take it, he couldn't accept that you've moved on and you've replaced him in your heart completely.
And now, here you are staring back at him. Your heart pounded so hard in your chest. You were on your way back to class from the infirmary because you accidentally pricked your finger while doing embroidery at home economics class. While Jake, he'd just exited the men's restroom. The two of you never really had your closure. You were too pained to talk to him back then. But seeing him now, you felt like you still weren't ready. Not because you still held a grudge, but because your heart still flutters at the sight of him.
"I should get back to class." You excuse yourself, breaking eye contact. But Jake wasn't gonna let you slip away, no. He grabs a hold of your wrist, pulling you inside the empty restroom and locking it instantly.
"Jake, what—" He pins you against the door, crashing his lips against yours as he traps you in between his arms that was placed on either side of your head. He kissed you feverishly, his hand coming down to hold you by the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss as his other hand squeezes on your hips. Desire pooled in between your legs and your mind was hazy, kissing him back with the same passion as you grip on his shoulders, trying to pull his body closer to yours. You were unable to think straight, unable to think rationally. A small voice in your head screamed to stop, but was quickly silenced as Jake hikes your skirt up, caressing your thigh as his lips found its way onto your neck.
"Ohh, Jake." You moaned as he found the sweet spot on your neck, biting and sucking knowing how it drives you crazy.
"You're gonna have to be quiet for me, princess." He whispers lowly on your ear as he unbuttons your blouse, fondling and squeezing your bra-cladded breast.
You let out a whimper as he pushes your bra down, freeing your erect nipples. He doesn't waste time as he puts it into his mouth, circling the sensitive areola with his tongue and sucking harshly, making you arch your back in pain and pleasure as you entangle your fingers in his hair. You were soaking wet at this point, your body burning with need.
"This is wrong Jake, we should stop." You say breathily, trying to stand up straight even though your legs begged to give in.
"You're right, so damn wrong." Jake says in between placing kisses on your chest. "But why aren't you pushing me away, baby?"
And you kept on asking yourself the same question. But your mind was too foggy to care. You needed release. You needed to be fucked. He leads you to the sinks, placing you on top so now he stood in between your legs.
"Please.." You begged him, guiding his hand to your crotch shamelessly. This small action made Jake's heart jump for joy, and his cock twitch in excitement. His cock was painfully hard now, but he can't fuck you yet.
"You dirty girl, look at you, begging to be fingered by me."
He pushes your soiled panties aside, letting his finger slide into your slippery cunt, letting your juices coat his fingertips as he rubs your clitoris. You bit your lip so hard, trying to supress the noises that your mouth threatened to release. He enters two fingers, fingering you in and out. The sound of your wet cunt drove him crazy, he wanted to eat you out so badly. He curls his fingers inside you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt yourself growing closer to your climax. But Jake knew you too well, he knew when you were about to come. The way your body flinches and your breathing speeds up, your pussy leaking of juices. But he just can't let you come, not yet. He stops, pulling his fingers out.
"No, please don't stop." You cried so desperately as you attempt to finish it yourself. But Jake stops your hand before it can even get close to your heat.
"Patience, baby girl." he plants a chaste kiss on your lips before pushing you down, your head rested on the wall and your legs spread for him even more. He eyes your messed up clothes and hair, appreciating how effortlessly gorgeous you could looked in any circumstance.
He draws his face closer to your cunt, grabbing hold of your thighs before digging in like a starved animal. He licked you good, working his tongue on your overly sensitive folds. He missed this, he missed your taste so much.
"Ah, Jake I'm so close. Don't stop." You moaned as you push his head closer to your pussy, his tongue digging deeper inside you as he lapped up your juices. He squeezed your thighs hard. And with one final flick of his tongue, you reach your high. In which he gratefully accept. Your whole body shooked with the intensity of your orgasm, but you weren't quite finished yet.
"Fuck- Fuck me Jake, please. Please I need you inside me, I want that cock fucking me hard." You begged, almost close to tears. You were so sexually aroused, nothing even mattered anymore. This time, Jake decided to give in to your request, his pants too unbearably tight.
He unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants down together with his boxers. His hard cock sprang free, his slit dripping with pre-cum. The sight made you lick your lips involuntarily. He positions himself on your entrance, pushing all the way in. You arch your back in pleasure as he repeats the action over and over, pulling himself almost out and then slamming all the way back into your pussy. He was fucking you so hard and fast as his hand comes to wrap around your neck, just the way you liked it.
"You're mine, Y/N. You'll aways be mine." He growls as he kept ramming his cock into you, slipping in and out so easily as your breasts bounced matching his pace. Only the sound of skin slapping and breathy moans and whimpers can be heard as you felt yourself getting closer to another orgasm.
"J-Jake.." Your voice was shaking as you called his name over and over.
"That's right, moan my name for everyone to hear. Fuck, I'm so close baby." Jake groaned breathily, thrusting his hips into you at full speed.
"Ohh Jake!" you cried as you hit your release with one final stroke, his warm load shoot inside you. He places his forehead against yours, breathing heavily as he savours his high.
"I still love you. Y/N."
But the bliss subsides soon enough, and reality hits you hard. Everything came crashing back, making you realize what you've just done. You cheated.
"No, we shouldn't have done this. This was a mistake." You say as you quickly fix yourself, or atleast try to look decent again. Jake clenched his fists, pain stung him as tears threatened to fall from his eyes.
"How could you say that, Y/N. You know you still love me too." He says, grabbing your shoulders. But the truth is, he's not reallly sure about it.
"No, Jake. I love Jaemin. I was wrong. So damn wrong. I cheated on him the way you cheated on me. That is so fucked up, Jake. He doesn't deserve this." You cried, pushing him away as you walked out the door. Jake was left standing there, with the numbing ache in his chest not going away anytime soon.
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JJK 0 Movie thoughts:
Spoilers ahead!! (Duh), you have been warned!!!!
Holy fucking shit the animation!!!! The fight scenes!!!!!! HOLY FUCK
With each new battle I kept thinking 'oh, this is where the movie peaked, THIS is the fight the budget went to', and then the next one was even better
Seriously whoever did the fight choreography for this movie deserves a fucking medal
Namami's consecutive black flashes! I honestly found that scene just a little bit underwhelming considering how much people had been hyping it up but it was still very awesome
I was literally counting the flashes under my breath lmao, the entire fight against the curse flowed very smoothly and the black flashes felt so casual and Nanami-like
Satoru VS Miguel was especially awesome too, loved how they incorporated the terrain for that fight
Yuuta VS Suguru was, of course, literally heart pounding, I actually hurt my hand from how tight it was digging in my nails at some points
Ze'nin Maki continues to be the best character ever in the entire human history of fiction
I already knew I loved Maki but, holy fuck I love Maki SO much
I cannot believe I'm actually saying this but the movie adaptation has opened my eyes to yuutamaki, I Get It Now
Their sparring scene was so good!! I loved how the sound of the naginata and kendo sword hitting against each other was used to create a real rhythm and impact for the scene
(If it also reminded me of the bo-staff spar from Pacific Rim that's nobodies business but my own)
But yeah I was not expecting for the movie to inject so much feeling into some of those scenes where in the manga, I had never felt at all like they were flirting, it worked though!!
I loved the extra scenes added of Yuuta and Rika spending time together, it gave us more investment in Rika and helped to drive home the tragedy of how she and Yuuta really were just kids
To the people in my cinema who laughed hysterically when Yuuta kissed Rika's cursed form: fuck you
I know the movie's been criticised a bit for its portrayal of Rika and Yuuta, with people saying it felt weak or one dimensional or whatever
But personally I think it captured their vibe, the childhood nostalgia tinged with tragedy, the dissonance of codependence and abject terror, really, really well
I do get how to people who haven't read the manga the image of Yuuta lovingly kissing a huge curse is kind of absurd, but still, fuck those people for laughing whilst my heart was being ripped out
(To the one girl I overheard during the credits saying to her friends: "she's a child though", I get you, I feel your pain, I am actively avoiding thinking about the implications of what I'm sure Akutami Gege meant to be completely innocent)
Rika's seiyuu was fantastic, the delivery of her final words hurt me in the best way possible
Inumaki was so good in this movie and they didn't even add any extra scenes with him or anything, he's just that much of a spotlight stealer for me
Him and Yuuta VS the semi-grade 1 at the shopping district was SO well done, I really loved how they had Toge do like 7 back handspring just to flex on us how cool he is
(Gymnast/parkour Toge rights!!)
Nanako and Mimiko my beloveds, my absolute darlings, my favourite little murder girls
Gyaru Nanako was a ChoiceTM and personally I am glad they made it
That fucking flashback of high school Suguru from their perspective was genuinely heart destroying, like God they really were just little kids, Suguru reallly was only seventeen
I was crying for pretty much the entirely of Suguru's death scene but the flashbacks to hidden inventory DESTROYED me
"Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru? Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?", I didn't think it was possible for that scene to hurt more than it already did but here we are
They changed the translation of The Line to "My best friend. My only one" but it still broke my heart into tiny little pieces all the same
She was only there for a few moments but Shoko!!!! I was yelling her name under my breath when she came on screen lmao
Pretty sad we didn't actually get to see her use reverse cursed technique but I guess the anime didn't wanna do something that could later be contradicted by the manga
Yuuta using Toge's technique was very, very cool, I loved how they made his voice louder, put on q sharp screech affect, and had the monochromatic flash vs Toge's rainbow distortion effect to drive home the point truly how much cursed energy Yuuta has in comparison to other people
Speaking of flashes: the decision to make Yuuta slugging Suguru across the face a black flash was easily one of the best choices this movie made
So much of this fucking budget went towards animating Satoru and I can't even be mad about it
Fr there were like 8 different moments with him where I was like 'oh that's DEFINITELY going to get giffed the second this movie is available online'
ESPECIALLY that one shot of his face as Rika was dispelling, like I am not Satoru simp but that shit was breathtaking
The music was also stunning!!!!! The soundtrack evoked some BIG emotions from me and I loved the blend of orchestral vibes and badass guitars that made the movie feel distinctive from, but still related to, the main anime series
Both the King Gnu songs are absolutely tunes as well, literally added them to my playlist the second I left the cinema lmao
Miguel is Kenyan!! It always really bothers me when it's just said that a character is 'from Africa' so I'm glad the movie confirmed a specific nationality for him
The post credits scene of him and Yuuta enjoying lunch together was also very cute, Yuuta continues to be an absolute darling
Yuuta's longer hair in the anime artstyle single handedly reminded me why he's my favourite character
Panda carried the comedy in this movie and I love him for it
Like yeah he had his badass moment in the fight against Suguru, and it was AWESOME, but the best thing he brought to the movie was a much needed laugh between all the tears and badassery
Love the addition of Meimei, Kusakabe, Ino, Nitta, and the Kyoto students!!! Was not expecting that and it was very awesome, especially Meimei's action scene
(There was a shot with crows earlier on in the movie that made me wonder if she was a actually possibly on Suguru's side, considering she's motivated more by money than morals and all. It'd be pretty awesome if the movie foreshadowed something not even brought up in the manga yet. Food for thought I suppose)
Kinda disappointed we didn't get to see Todo absolutely wreck a huge cursed spirit but I guess they were only so many badass fight scenes they could afford
Ogata Megumi as Yuuta's seiyuu was literally fucking brilliant, like it was completely different from the voice I had previously imagined Yuuta with but now I can't imagine him sounding any other way than how Ogata portrayed him
The subs included honorifics like 'kun' and 'chan', that was a nice touch!
Ijichi calling Toge 'sorcerer Inumaki' made me realise that 'jujutsu-shi' can be used as a kind of pseudo-honorific for sorcerers the same way 'senshuu' is used for athletes, which is a cool little world building detail
Yaga saying 'GODDAMN' got so many laughs out of my theatre
That shot of Suguru in a white t-shirt, hair loose, sitting by the indoor vending machines at Jujutsu High? That? That was what truly BROKE me
It's a throwaway line but I've been wondering about the Ainu Jujutsu Society ever since I read vol 0, especially now with Hokkaido canonically being sacred Jujutsu grounds, please Gege-sensei give me something to work with here
I would like to apologise in advance for the person having Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2, specifically the Hidden Inventory and Premature Death arcs, is going to make me into
I know I keep saying it but the animation seriously was stunning, I still personally don't think MAPPA is all to great at adapting Jujutsu Kaisen's artstyle, but they certainly know how to do fucking gorgeous animation
Maki with her hair down gave me vague Perfect Preparation vibes and I would like to thank the universe for that
They included the 'in English proficiency?' line and I probably laughed way harder than I should've
Also Yuuta just, screaming and flailing, as he and Maki were tossed in the air by the big elementary school curse, comedy gold
I love the 2nd years so, so, so, so much they are best friends they would die for each other bullying is their love language if you insult their friends they'll kill you I just love them all so much
"Yuuta-san here will beat you up" lmaoooo I'm so happy they kept that in, and also Yuuta being like ':0 big bird!!' Whilst everyone else was getting ready to throw down with Suguru
Basically: it was a REALLY good movie
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