#i finished world tour main story you guys are fucked now that i can look up bosch images

[naughtyneganjdm]

Caught in the Middle - Chapter 1

Summary: Daryl Dixon finds himself head over heels for the new teacher at the local high school that he works at, but she has eyes for Negan.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Daryl Dixon, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33634642/chapters/83581864

Warnings: Swearing, etc.

Notes: This is going to be another short story. I'm going to attempt to keep the chapters shorter so I can get through this story pretty fast. I was talking to a friend about something and this idea kind of came to me. I know it's kind of different, but I plan on switching POVs frequently so Daryl is not the main character of this story. There are three main characters. Negan, Daryl and Y/N. Hopefully you guys like it!

Y/N means your name or whatever name you want to put in there!

There weren’t a lot of things in the world that caught Daryl Dixon’s attention. For the most part, he had closed himself off in general. After the life he had growing up, he had become cold to things in the world. He’d get up, go to work, head home, sleep and then repeat. So, for someone to really catch his attention was a pretty big deal. Especially since Daryl wasn’t one for relationships or being attracted to people. Relationships were too much work and he just didn’t have the patience for them. Well, that was until someone new arrived at work. After that, it kind of changed everything for him. Which surprised the hell out of him, but he looked forward to every minute he got to spend with this new person.

Daryl was the auto shop teacher at the local high school. Was it a cool job? Fuck no. Was he good at it? Probably not as good as he could have been, but he was good at fixing things. When he was younger teaching was not something he would have ever pictured himself doing. Hell, he wasn’t exactly the most social person, so to say it was a struggle sometimes would be a massive understatement.  

When a friend offered him a job after an I owe you situation, Daryl quickly snagged that shit up. He would have been stupid to not take this job. With his background, he was lucky to have a job as it was. Every day, he would go to work and just do what he had to in order to get through the day. He never really got close to the other teachers, but he observed from afar. Watching people and learning things without being a part of them was something Daryl had become good at. The students liked him well enough, but it wasn’t like he was trying to make friends or be everyone’s favorite. He just did what he had to do and that was it. Going above and beyond was not Daryl’s style.  

A few months ago, a new teacher had transferred to their school and Daryl felt like they kind of immediately hit it off. They had literally run into each other in the hallway on her first day when she was lost. Daryl was coming out of his classroom looking at his phone and nearly knocked her over onto the floor. When he caught her, there was something about her smile that had caught his attention. When she had asked him for a tour of the school, he was eager to do it. Not that he was very good at it. Daryl was never a man of many words, but around Y/N he found himself opening up more and more. That was the nice thing about this girl. She made him step out of the box and be something more than he usually was.

Every day the two of them would find time to talk to each other and he relished in every moment of it. It became something where he started looking forward to going to work. He was excited to wake up every day. It was all because of her and the weekends were the worst because he didn’t actually get to see her. They texted each other, but the weekdays had become his favorite thing.

An overwhelmed breath fell from his throat when he looked over his shoulder after hearing the group of loud, boisterous laughter filling the bar that he was in. This was new for him. A lot of the teachers would get together some nights at the local bar to hang out. Of course, there were certain groups that liked to hang out more often than not. The source of the laughter stemmed from the staff favorite, Negan Smith. For some reason, every person seemed to love Negan. He always drew the attention of people and people found him hilarious. Daryl found him to be juvenile and somewhat annoying himself, but somehow, Negan was always the person people drifted to. Even being an asshole, all the students loved him as well as the teachers. Negan was the life of the party and very much the opposite of Daryl. Hell, Daryl didn’t even want to be here, but he was because he wanted to see Y/N. That’s really why he was there. It was the one time they would get together outside of work and Daryl loved being around her outside of a work setting.

Turning back toward the bar, Daryl reached out for the neck of his beer bottle and slid the bottle in front of him. It made him wonder if Y/N was actually coming tonight. Usually she would be here by now. When the laughter seemed to get louder, Daryl grumbled to himself and lowered his head. This wasn’t Daryl’s kind of scene and each moment he spent there proved that more and more.  

“Forget this,” Daryl got up from the stool and started pushing into his pockets to look for his money until he felt the sensation of someone nudging him.

“You leaving this early?” Y/N muttered when Daryl looked to her with his big blue eyes. A tiny grin expanded over his features and he immediately shook his head. Was he getting up to leave? Yes, but with her here he would reconsider that. Pulling out the stool beside him for her, Daryl felt his heart skip a beat in his chest when she moved in beside him. “Sorry I took so long. I got caught up at school checking some papers. I would have gotten it done earlier, but someone came to talk to me for a while so that kept there a little longer than I would have liked to have been there.”

“You finish everything then?” Daryl confirmed and she gave a nod before ordering herself a drink. Truthfully, he didn’t care why she was late. He was just happy to see her. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, it was pretty nice,” she answered with a simple shrug. “What about yourself?”

“Oh yeah, it was great,” Daryl lied and her eyebrows arched in curiosity when he said that. A nervous laugh fell from his throat and he shrugged.

“Oh really?” she chuckled, thanking the bartender when he came back with her drink.

“Okay, so it was just like every other day. Until now,” Daryl reached for his beer and swallowed down the last bit that was left in there. “Now that you’re here, it’s pretty great. You could brighten any mundane day for me Y/N. You know that.”

“You are so sweet,” she reached out to hook her arm around his shoulders to give him a hug and his face flushed over when she pulled away. “That was smooth. That was real smooth.”

“Well, that’s me. Mr. Smooth,” Daryl brushed his fingers through his hair to straighten it out. “But you are pretty cool. You’re the most interesting thing in this town. I tell you that.”

“And that’s why you’re my best friend here. Even if it’s not true, you are always saying things to make me smile,” she reached out to place her hand over his and she gave it a firm squeeze. “You’ve been the best to me since I transferred here. You’re the greatest. You know that?”

“Yeah?” Daryl was happy to hear that. At some point he was genuinely hoping the best friend label would progress into more, but right now he was okay with settling with that title. Just getting to be with her was more than enough right now. He didn’t want to push too hard or too fast. “I’m only saying what I believe Y/N.”

“We know I am so far from being the most interesting thing here,” she denied his statement while she took a sip of her drink that she had gotten. When the noise from the group in the back filled the bar again, they both looked back. The other teachers at the school were surrounding a pool table and Negan was obviously playing against one of the others. “You know, we should do that one day. Play a round of pool. I’m actually really good at it. We should do teams. You and I could go up against Simon and Negan.”

“Oh, yeah,” Daryl rolled his eyes, turning himself back toward the bar while she kept her eyes on the game that they were playing. “That’s really not my thing. Putting myself into the thick of that. I have no interest in being part of that group.”

“They aren’t so bad,” she suggested and Daryl looked to see to see that her focus was still locked on them. Looking over his shoulder, Daryl noticed that Negan had lifted his head and his eyes connected with hers. With an arrogant bob of his head and a bright smile, Negan gave Y/N a wink. Looking to Y/N after Negan did it, Daryl could see that it made her smile and her face flushed over. “I think you would enjoy yourself at times if you opened yourself up to it. The people at the school would really like you.”

“No one had interest in me before you were here and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t now either,” Daryl retorted with a snort when he looked back again to notice that Negan and Y/N were still staring at each other. Someone grabbed a hold of Negan to get his attention and Daryl felt his body tensing up over the moment he just witnessed. “They really aren’t that interesting Y/N. Plus, I’m not all that good at pool.”

“Well, I have a table at my home. One day you can come over and I could teach you some tricks,” she offered up, her eyes finally meeting his again. The air around them was cool and Daryl didn’t know if the chill filling his body was that or the jealousy of that stare between her and Negan.  

“That would be really cool. I’ve yet to be at your house yet you know,” Daryl reminded her and Y/N gave him a shifty look. “Well, I’ve dropped you off…”

“And I’ve asked you if you wanted to come in multiple times to hang out. Every time you turn me down,” she pointed out and he knew that he didn’t want to come in because he was afraid that he would do something stupid. It had been a long time since he was interested in someone. He didn’t want to make a mistake that made this girl leave his life forever. “You know you are welcome at my place any day. You at least know where I live. I don’t even know where you live.”

“Well, it’s not a nice place where I live,” Daryl explained with a frown knowing that he lived with his deadbeat brother. Most of the time Merle wasn’t there, but he didn’t want the one day she would come over to be one of the few times Merle came over. With his mouth, Daryl was sure that Merle would scare Y/N away forever. “It’s kind of a mess. You deserve to be in places better than that.”

“I don’t care what your place looks like. You’re my friend and I would like to spend time with you other than being here sometimes. You know that,” she professed with a shake of her head, reaching out to place her hand over his arm. “I’m not the kind of person that cares what your place looks like. I like you for you.”

“I think you’re the only person in the world that has ever said something like that to me,” Daryl confessed and he watched her roll her eyes. Obviously, she thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. That’s what was sad. No one had ever been as nice to him as she had been. How couldn’t he like this girl? She was one of the only people he had ever met that didn’t make him feel like a deadbeat or a waste of space. “You think I’m kidding?”

“Who wouldn’t like you Daryl?” she gave him a confused expression and he didn’t know how to answer that. “There is a lot of good to you.”

“The world never made me feel that way,” Daryl informed her with a weak smile before waving to order himself another drink.

“Well then the world needs to take another look. You need to throw yourself out there Daryl. You don’t have to be this loner for the rest of your life, you know?” she insisted with a shake of her head. “You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else.”

“Where did you come from?” Daryl sighed wishing like hell this girl would have dropped into his life sooner.

“You know where I came from,” she hesitantly laughed and then turned in her seat to look back at the rest of the group behind them again. “Truth be told Daryl; I like it here a lot more than I did at the old school I worked at. People here are more like family. They are friendlier. They don’t always seem like they are out to stab you in the back. People are willing to help and make you feel at home.”

“You must be talking to people I don’t know,” Daryl explained with a groan, turning on his seat to look at the crowded bar behind him.

“You don’t talk to people Daryl,” she replied with a silly glance and Daryl grunted while taking a sip of his beer. “You wouldn’t have even talked to me if I wouldn’t have run right into you on my first day here. It took me almost breaking something for you to actually talk to me.”

“Regardless,” Daryl knew what these people were like and he had no interest. No one really caught his attention or made it seem like they deserved his respect. In his opinion, most of the people at the school just liked the attention they could get. That was it. Noticing the way that Negan looked over his shoulder at stole another glance at Y/N made Daryl bite into his bottom lip. “Who did you talk to today after work?”

“What?” she muttered and Daryl could see that her attention was somewhere else and he frowned. Daryl reached out to nudge her arm and it took a second before she shook off to look over at him. “It was Negan. He’s funny. The two of us have been talking a bit over the last few weeks. The guy really likes to cook and he was bragging about his food about a month ago. Offered me some and every few days he is always bringing in things for me to try that he made. Today it was a raspberry danish that he made.”

“Oh, the guy is a good cook too, huh?” Daryl snorted, his eyes rolling when he thought about Negan and how everyone found the guy pretty much fucking perfect. Then again, he found himself super jealous at the idea of the two of them talking. Why had Y/N never mentioned the fact that her and Negan had been talking? “You know, you shouldn’t be taking food from strangers.”

“Oh come on,” she laughed, her eyebrows creasing with amusement when she gave her attention fully to Daryl. “Negan is not a stranger. I work with him and if something bad happened to me from the food, I’m not the only one he gives his food too.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re not,” Daryl scoffed at the idea, turning away in disgust from the rest of the people from work.

“What is it with you and Negan?” she pondered, sliding in beside Daryl elbowing him playfully while Daryl kept his head down.

“What is it with you and Negan?” Daryl repeated her question with an emphasis on the word you. His eyes narrowed and she stole another glance back over her shoulder at Negan.

“Okay, fine,” she let out a long exhale of air, lowering her head. It took a minute and she reached for her drink to quickly finish it off as if to gain courage to tell him what she wanted to say. “Since you’re you…I won’t lie to you, but you have to keep your mouth shut about it.”

Instead of saying anything, Daryl stared out at her with his confused blue eyes while her right hand spun in the air trying to come up with the right words to say, “I kind of have a crush on Negan. I know it’s silly since we’re adults and using that word is so juvenile, but I don’t know. I just find him so charming and he makes me laugh. When he smiles, I just find myself smiling, you know? Those dimples are gorgeous and he’s got a wicked sense of humor.”

“You are crushing on him?” Daryl restated what she had just said and she hushed him. Disappointment filled his entire body and his face felt exceedingly hot. An ache developed at the center of his chest and he had to pull his eyes away from her. It hurt way too much to even hear that from her. Especially since he had the biggest crush on her and yearned for more. Flicking his bar napkin aside, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Of course you like Negan. Everyone likes Negan.”

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head to the side noticing that Daryl no longer seemed to want to look at her. It made things a little uncomfortable because that wasn’t the reaction she thought she would get for being honest with her friend.

“I mean it makes sense that you would be like everyone else. Negan is the cool guy. The jock. The person that everyone drifts toward,” Daryl stated with a scoff hating that of all the people she liked, it was Negan. “I just thought you were a little more interesting than that.”

“Ouch,” she reached up to place her hand over the center of her chest, feigning like he hurt her with her words. “Where did that come from?”

“I just thought you were different than most people. Everyone sees Negan and their eyes just light up. He eats the attention up and people just attract to him like flies to bug zapper,” Daryl ranted hating that his jealousy was getting the better of him, but it was. “When I met you, I just thought you were someone who was attracted to something different. Like you said, you like people for who they are.”

“Just because I have a silly crush on someone doesn’t mean I’m not the same person that is your friend. You and I have gotten super close over the last few months. I think you know me better than anyone else does here,” she pointed out, hating to hear him saying the things that he was. “I just like the way that he makes me feel, you know?”

“And you’re attracted to him,” Daryl snorted knowing that there was no doubt that she was attracted to his looks by all the times he had caught her staring at Negan with heart eyes tonight. “You’re right…I know you better than anyone else here and I can promise you that you deserve better than Negan. No matter how much you love the fucking dimples.”

“Negan would never even look twice at me Daryl,” she talked down on herself and Daryl found himself upset that she would even do that. Talking illy of herself to bring up Negan made him just pissed off. “Look at him, he’s just so good looking and then there is me.”

“What was in this drink?” Daryl reached for her glass to look it over and he gave her a disgusted face when she said that. “You are fucking beautiful. I can’t believe you said that because you are absolutely gorgeous. Not only that, but you are super cool. Why wouldn’t someone like you? There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.”

“Except for the fact that I crush on Negan which makes me just like everyone else,” she proclaimed, stating what he had said previously and it made him bite down on his bottom lip. Clearly it upset her that he compared her to everyone else just because she liked Negan.

“I’m just saying, with what I know about you I don’t think Negan would be your type. You take work seriously and Negan…I don’t think serious is even a word in his vocabulary,” Daryl complained about Negan knowing that he still was so upset that she was crushing on what he would consider the popular guy. God, life was still so much like high school and he hated it. He felt like a teenager instead of being a teacher that actually worked at a high school. “Like, he totally got fucking fired from this job a while back. You know that?”

“How?” her face wrinkled up in surprise when Daryl said that.

“It was like a year before his wife died,” Daryl clarified and he could see the sadness that flooded in over Y/N’s features when she heard him say that. “You didn’t know that his wife died?”

“No. No one ever mentioned that to me,” she answered honestly knowing that it wasn’t something a lot of people would open with so it made sense that she didn’t know about Negan’s late wife.  “What did she die from?”

“She got pancreatic cancer,” Daryl responded with frustration hating the way that she was looking at Negan now. Visibly it made her like Negan more and he damned himself for even saying it. “Him and his wife were at this bar one day. They got into an argument with a guy and Negan beat the fuck out of a guy here. The guy said something nasty to his wife, but he beat the guy almost to death. It was one of the student’s parents, so he ended up getting fired. Was on probation and everything. Then they found out about his wife being sick and dying. They felt bad for him and the community kind of got together to get him his job back to help take care of his wife. Who gets that fucking lucky, huh? Most people that almost beat someone to death don’t usually get people helping them like that. I can promise you when most people make mistakes, it follows them around for the rest of their lives.”

“Damn, he’s been through a lot then, hasn’t he?” she turned further in her chair to look back at Negan who was still playing a game of pool. “You wonder how he continues to be so positive and outgoing when he went through all of that.”

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” Daryl groaned upon hearing her say that and he could see that the story upset her. Empathizing with Negan over that story made him so angry to hear that. That wasn’t the kind of response he was expecting her. When he told her that he almost beat a guy to death, he thought she would look down on Negan. “He beat the hell out of some guy Y/N.”

“You said the guy he beat said something nasty to his wife. He was defending his wife’s honor,” she filled in the details and Daryl let out a frustrated exhale. “If someone said something bad about someone that you cared about, wouldn’t you do the same?”

“That’s beside the point,” Daryl reached to grab a hold of Y/N’s wrists to get her to look at him. “When I was a kid I lived with my older brother and my dad. My dad was always so drunk that he never got up. We didn’t have food. My brother was always gone and I was starving. People knew what my family was like, but they saw trash when they looked at me. I stole food in order to survive because I had nothing. Do you know what happened to me? I didn’t get a slap on the wrists and told to be a good boy. That stuff stuck with me my whole life. I wasn’t that poor kid that lived in a bad situation, I was that awful little boy that was a thief. No one felt bad for me.”

“Well that makes those people terrible Daryl. You were a little boy that needed help and instead they turned their head away,” she reached out to wrap her fingers around his to give them a firm squeeze. “I think…we all have our own stories. You know? There are things that I’ve…gone through. Horrible things and we all wish there was someone there that could have saved us. You know?”

“What does that mean?” Daryl saw the way she swallowed down hard and he tried to reach out to touch her, but she held her hand up to keep him from doing so in that moment. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing, I’m just saying,” she reflected the question and waved for the bartender to get her something else to drink. “Sometimes it’s nice to hear that people did what they did for Negan. I don’t usually have a lot of faith in the world, so when you hear that a community came together to help a man to help him care for his dying wife it makes you feel better about things.”

“Right,” Daryl stammered knowing that what she had just blown off made him think there were things about her that she didn’t tell him about. Now she wasn’t so much an open book, but someone who evidently had their secrets they kept to themselves. Daryl watched her toss back the drink she had gotten and he could see that their discussion had changed her a bit. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m going to go use the restroom,” she pointed over Daryl’s shoulder toward the ladies’ room and Daryl felt like he should say something to comfort her when she stood up. Something had changed in her beautiful features and he was just never very good at this stuff. With her getting ready to leave, he felt himself choking up at the idea of trying to make her feel better. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here,” Daryl didn’t know what the hell to say as she moved around him toward the bathroom. Tapping his hands against the top of the bar again, he tried to gather in his mind what he was going to say to her when she came back.

“Daryl!” a loud voice boomed in beside him as he felt the warmth of a body moving near him. Turning his head unhurriedly, he saw that Negan had slid in beside him and Negan’s bright smile ate up most of his face. “You are just the man I wanted to talk to.”

“Why?” Daryl scowled hating to hear a statement like that.

“How are you doing today buddy? Can I buy you a drink or something?” Negan offered attempting to call out to the bartender.

“I have a beer,” Daryl nodded toward his drink and Negan’s right eyebrow raised. Having Negan coming over to him and act like he wanted to speak to him felt weird. It certainly felt out of place. “What do you want Negan?”

“Wow. You’re a man that gets straight to the point, huh?” Negan snickered before calling over the bartender to get himself a drink. When he was done, Daryl cocked his head to the side almost waiting for Negan to speak up.

“Well, considering you’ve never had an interest in talking to me before you undoubtedly want something,” Daryl suggested making Negan’s eyes narrow out at him and Negan bit at his bottom lip. “So, what is it?”

“That’s kind of bullshit Daryl,” Negan retorted with a grunt, his eyes still hooked on Daryl’s when he reached for his drink that the bartender brought. “I’ve asked you plenty of times if you wanted to join us in a round of drinks back there or if you wanted to play some pool. You’re the one that always says no. I just assumed you wanted to stick to yourself and shit after about the fifth time of asking you.”

“Well that was a smart deduction. I’m surprised you came up with it,” Daryl snorted making Negan laugh in response after Daryl said that.

“Wow, look at the smartassery on you,” Negan seemed impressed with Daryl instead of being offended by what Daryl actually said. “Here I was thinking you were this quiet guy, but you’ve got some bite to you. I fucking like it Daryl. You should use that spicy ass attitude more often. Good for you man.”

There was nothing Daryl could say to respond to that, so instead Daryl found himself laughing as Negan reached out to pat Daryl on the back in delight, “Here I was thinking you would get fucking offended and leave me alone.”

“It takes a lot to offend me since I really don’t give a flying fuck what people think about me,” Negan assured Daryl with a wiggle of his brow. Reaching for his drink, Negan swallowed it down before slamming the glass down on top of the bar with a wince. “I actually wanted to talk to you about the new girl. I saw that the two of you were close. Are you dating? Or are you just like really good buds? Because honestly, I’m really fucking interested in her. I was thinking of letting her know I was interested, but if you two are together I don’t want to fuck that up. So I figured I would ask.”

All of Daryl wanted to tell Negan that he was dating her so that way that Daryl could have Y/N to himself. Turning away from Negan to reach for his beer, Daryl debated on what to say. God, he like Y/N so much, but at the same time he knew how much he cared about her. With her just admitting to Daryl that she had huge crush on Negan, Daryl found his heart tangled with what it should do. Taking a minute, Daryl’s eyes lifted toward the ladies’ restroom and he shook his head.

“We’re not dating,” Daryl was honest with Negan while shifting on the seat so he could look at Negan with his intense blue eyes. There was an excitement that flooded Negan’s face when Daryl said that and Daryl was damning himself for even attempting to be a good person in this situation. He wanted to be greedy. He wanted to be an asshole, but he knew that he really liked Y/N and her being happy was worth more than his own happiness. “In fact, I think if you were honest with her, she would be fucking thrilled.”

“Why is that?” Negan inquired with an arch of his thick eyebrow.

“Because she has the biggest crush on you,” Daryl told her secret, but he knew by telling Negan that would help her get something that made her happy in the end. The amusement that flooded Negan’s features made Daryl feel like the biggest loser on the planet. Instead of telling the woman he was in love with that he cared about her, he was telling the guy that she had a crush on that she liked him. Who the fuck did that? “I found that out tonight. So, there you go.”

“So, you’re okay with this?” Negan stammered with a bob of his head while speaking with a big, pearly white smile. When Daryl nodded he knew that Negan was pleased with his answer. Cussing to himself, Daryl hated him himself. So much. Why would he do that? A moment later he heard Negan let out an enthusiastic breath. “Well speak of the devil, look who it is! We were just talking about you.”

“Negan!” Daryl closed his eyes hearing the way that Y/N said Negan’s name. It was the sound of someone that was pleasantly surprised with their guest being there. “I hope it was only good things that you were talking about.”

“Is there any other way to talk about you?” Negan flirted and Daryl silently groaned to himself when Negan moved over to make room for Y/N back at the bar. Glancing beside him, Daryl could see that Negan was still rather close to her while they sat next to each other. “I was happy to see you walk in here. I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Well, someone made me late to checking my tests,” she reminded Negan and Negan snorted upon hearing her say that. “If it wasn’t for that person, I may have been here sooner rather than later.”

“My fault,” Negan placed his hand over the center of his chest and their eyes were hooked on each other. “I was worried that maybe my danish made you feel sick.”

“Quite the opposite actually, I think it put me in a better mood today,” she complimented Negan and Daryl found himself irritated that he had now become the third wheel. Before Negan was there, she actually acknowledged his existence, but with Negan sitting beside her Daryl realized that he may as well had been invisible. “I was hoping you would be bringing me more tomorrow.”

“See, now you’re getting greedy,” Negan teased with a cock of his head and a big, goofy smile. Daryl watched Negan while he interacted with Y/N and Daryl wished he had half of the confidence along with charisma that Negan did. “I bring you something out of the kindness of my heart and now you’re going to start expecting it.”

“It’s a compliment really,” she smiled, caressing her fingers over the back of her neck in a nervous swipe while her and Negan went back and forth. “It says you did a really good job making it and I think you’re a fantastic baker slash cook.”

“Well thank you,” Negan chuckled while he looked her over with his hazel eyes. “If it means getting to see you smile if even for a few minutes every day, I will happily bring you anything that I make.”

“Since you’re so big on sharing you should let me try it someday,” Daryl finally spoke up when they both had seemed to forget that he was there. Negan’s smile slowly faded when his eyes pulled to Daryl’s. “I mean she was gushing about your cooking skills earlier today.”

“Absolutely Daryl, I’d loved for you to try my danish,” Negan replied with a smirk and in the moment Daryl realized how awkward the whole statement actually sounded. Y/N’s laughter filled the air and Negan looked to Y/N with an amused expression. “You’re a fucking perv missy.”

“I’m sorry, the way you just said that at him felt so suggestive,” she waved her hand in the air trying to get herself to stop laughing. Daryl was embarrassed, Negan was entertained. “You can’t tell me you didn’t say it like that to not be…suggestive as hell.”

“Daryl’s a decent looking fella, I wouldn’t be embarrassed to being suggestive with him,” Negan threw his hand up in the air and she laughed harder, her hand reaching out to place over Negan’s chest. God, she even wanted to touch Negan. When Daryl would make her laugh, she was nothing like this. “You think I’m joking? I’m not. I’m not embarrassed.”

“Well at least you’re bold and honest,” she claimed before finally looking to Daryl who seemed less than enthusiastic with everything that was going on. “Without being perverted, I think you would really like his actual danish. I was surprised it wasn’t store bought.”

“Hey now, it tastes better than the store stuff,” Negan grumbled under his breath and once again before Daryl could respond Negan had her full attention again. “You can’t compare my freshly baked goods to something you would buy at a supermarket that has been sitting there for days.”

“Oh, my mistake,” she giggled and Negan reached for her to give her a big hug in his arms after they had their playful little bickering match. God, Negan was so brave. It was something that Daryl would have never done, but she didn’t seem to hate it at all.

“Do y’all want to come over and play a game with us?” Negan pointed over toward the pool table and she looked to Daryl with big eyes. It was obvious she wanted to play, but Daryl was still at a point where he had no interest. Negan was already so much better than him at pretty much everything, he didn’t want Negan to outdo him in pool too. “We’d love to have you over there.”

“Go ahead, I’ll watch from here,” Daryl offered to her seeing that she seemed upset that Daryl didn’t want to come. “I’m kind of tired and I’m not much of a pool player. So I wouldn’t be that much fun anyways.”

“Well, why don’t you just come over there and talk with a few of the other teachers? You can be near the table while I absolutely destroy Y/N,” Negan urged Daryl to still join them and almost immediately Daryl shook his head. He didn’t want to be included in something where he would have to be up close watching the girl that he was head over heels for swooning over Negan.

“Daryl, come on,” she reached for his hands and Daryl shook his head once more. “You might actually have some fun.”

“I’m tired Y/N, you go ahead and have fun,” Daryl kept up with his answer knowing that she was disappointed, but he didn’t care. There was no changing his answer. Part of Daryl wished she would have just stayed, but when she got up from the seat, he knew that spending time with Negan was going to win out over spending time with him. “Just enjoy yourself.”

“Well you should come over there when you want,” she reached out to squeeze his shoulder before walking toward the pool table with Negan.

When they reached the other side of the bar Daryl could see the other teachers eager to talk and laugh with Y/N. For a while they just all stood around talking and Daryl knew that he was staring, but he didn’t care. Biting down on his bottom lip when Negan’s arm wrapped around Y/N’s shoulders, he let out an upset breath and knew he should have just left.

After a while of talking, Negan tugged Y/N toward the pool table and they started playing together. Daryl was full of jealousy watching their interaction. It was obvious the two of them had a fuck ton of chemistry together. She was having a lot of fun and it was so easy for Negan to make her laugh.

Even knowing that Negan was her type made it so much more obvious to Daryl that he would never be her type. Negan was the opposite of him and he knew that. Which hurt all the more. It was best for him to just leave at his point, he wouldn’t have even been missed if he left now.

Finishing up his last drink, Daryl went to leave until he watched Y/N throw her arms up in celebration when she clearly beat Negan. Watching closely, Daryl saw the look of disappointment over Negan’s features as he moved around the pool table toward her. How close Negan got to Y/N made Daryl’s heart start to hammer inside of his chest.

Daryl’s mind was telling him to go over there and stop the interaction, but his body was frozen while Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers. Negan’s fingers stroked over the side of her face, brushing her hair behind her ear while they talked. Negan whispered something and she nodded before Negan lowered down. Tensing up, Daryl watched Negan’s lips descend over hers after he cupped her face in his hands in a tender stroke and this shit hurt more than Daryl would have thought it would.

When they parted, Negan’s head pressed up against hers and Daryl could see that it took her breath away. Negan whispered something to her while his right hand lifted with his thumb tracing over her cheek. With a smile like that, Daryl knew that Negan was sweeping her off her feet.

Daryl stepped forward when Negan grabbed a hold of her hand and led her toward the back of the bar. The rest of the group was distracted with their own discussions so the two of them were able to sneak out. Following the direction they headed, Daryl went to the backdoor and pushed it slightly open to see that they were at the back of the building.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan slurred, while he had her back pressed up against the brick wall. His large hands were cupping her face as they kissed over and over again. Daryl watched the two of them through the small crack in the door that he had opened. It was enough not to draw attention to him while the two made out behind the bar. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“Negan,” she breathed out while his kisses pressed down over the side of her face and down toward her neck. Grabbing a firm hold of his thick hair, she tugged at it and made Negan stare out at her with desperation while he panted. Daryl wished that she would turn him down. “Do you…do you want to go to my place?”

“Right now?” Negan breathed against her lips and she nodded slowly. The smile that Negan gave her made an angry chill run down Daryl’s spine. “I’d love to.”

Y/N reached for Negan’s hand and led him away from the bar making Daryl want to chase after them, but he knew better. She made her choice and she wanted Negan. Badly, obviously.

Slamming the door shut behind him, Daryl went back to the bar and took his seat again where he was previously. Ordering something a little stronger, he wanted to drink away his pain knowing that he was super hurt to see how eager Y/N was to take Negan home with her.

“Where did the big man go?” a voice made Daryl grunt when Simon slid in beside him and Daryl muttered a slew of silent, angry words to himself. Suddenly so many people he had no interest in speaking to were coming up to him to talk. It irritated Daryl to say the least. When Daryl immediately took back the drink he ordered, Simon let out a long drawn out laugh. “It’s only Thursday Dixon, you might want to hold back. There is one more day of work.”

“I don’t care,” Daryl grumbled with a scowl, his blue eyes glaring at Simon. “I assume you’re talking about Negan and you’re too late. He just left with Y/N.”

“Like, they left together?” Simon was eager to get details and Daryl nodded, waving on to get another drink brought to him. “Son of a bitch! I didn’t think she would give it up that fucking fast. I got more of an innocent vibe from her.”

“What are you trying to say?” Daryl’s face scrunched up and Simon ordered a drink for himself.

“I’m saying Negan is going to win the fucking bet, that’s what I’m saying,” Simon sneered when he got the beer that he ordered. “Goddamn it.”

“What bet?” Daryl immediately questioned seeing Simon dramatically throw his head around. There was a pressure in Daryl’s head and it felt like the world stopped all together when he heard Simon say that. “What bet?”

“I made a bet with Negan that he wouldn’t be able to sleep with the new girl,” Simon informed Daryl with a long, drawn out sigh. “And evidently, I’m fucking losing which fucking sucks.”

“You guys made a bet about Negan sleeping with Y/N?” Daryl snapped, standing up from the stool that he was seated at. “What the fuck? That’s an actual person you are talking about? Someone who likes Negan…”

“Every girl likes Negan,” Simon snorted, his face scrunched up in amusement when Daryl seemed so upset. “Like I’m supposed to be surprised by that. I just thought she was your girl so it was the one time I thought I would win the bet.”

“Negan told me that he was crushing on her,” Daryl repeated what Negan had said and Simon laughed with an entertained expression when he reached for his beer again. “What?”

“You think Negan would crush on her? After losing his wife, that guy would pretty much sleep with anyone to forget the pain of losing her,” Simon cleared his throat noticing how uncomfortable that Daryl was with all of this. “There is no way that he has something for this girl other than the bet. He’s out to win it and undoubtedly, he is going to nail it. I guess I should say be saying he’s going to be nailing her.”

“Fucking asshole,” Daryl knocked into Simon as he headed for the door to leave. He didn’t know what to do with this information, but he had to stop it. Someway. He couldn’t just let Y/N get hurt like this. Why did he have to be so stupid? He should have never told Negan that it would be okay. He should have tried harder to keep them apart. This was just as much his fault for pushing the two of them together and Daryl hated himself for that.

----

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[ilovefandoms102]

The Worst Vacation

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend surprises you on your vacation with your work friends...

Note: Inspired by my trip to AZ which was terrible so this is kind of based off real events that happened to me but dramatized for the story, and of course inserting my baby daddy Drew😛.

Click here to be apart of my taglist

=====================================

Life works in funny ways…

I never expected to find the love of my life a little over a year ago. Drew came unexpectedly into my life and we instantly had a connection. I know, I know...sounds extremely cliche, but it’s the truth.

Although our relationship was mostly long distance, we made it work. Sure it was really hard sometimes not having him around, but once I graduated from college we planned on moving in together. It might seem a bit fast since we have only been together a year, but I’m ready and I know Drew’s the one I want to spend forever with.

=====================================

I go on vacation with a girl I work with every year, Sally, since I started working with her two years ago. This year, we chose to go to Arizona. I was super excited because we had also planned on going to Las Vegas and Los Angeles.

Drew was extremely supportive and was happy that I was getting the opportunity to travel. I was hesitant with wanting to go at first because I had wanted to save up enough money to visit Drew while he was filming.

However, we both agreed his schedule was too hectic at the time and that we wouldn’t be able to properly spend time with each other. We were both disappointed, but still I was excited to go with my friend.

Or so I thought…

The trip was slowly turning into a disaster, everything that could have gone wrong did. My friend had brought along her niece, Caroline, which I didn’t mind despite not knowing her very well. It felt like the trip was mainly focused on them and I was just there to be the chauffeur.

I called Drew the first three nights of my stay crying because they were so awful to me. Drew being the sweet man he is offered to pay for a flight home, but I declined. I already had spent too much money to not finish out the trip.

“But sweetheart, if you’re not having a good time there’s no point in being there.” Drew pressed, his handsome face lighting up my phone screen.

“I know honey, but I’ve already spent a thousand dollars for this trip. I can’t just come home and leave them here.” I sighed, snuggling further into what would be my bed for another 10 dreadful days.

“I’ll give you the money back angel, I just don’t want you to be miserable when this is supposed to be a relaxing trip.” Drew insisted.

“I’m not taking your money Drew you spoil me enough.” I smiled, wishing more than anything he was lying here with me so I could kiss his cute face.

“I always want to spoil you baby, you mean the world to me.” he professed, grinning widely afterwards.

“I miss you so much,” I whispered, my heart aching to feel his strong arms around me.

“I miss you more,” he whispered back, pouting his lips slightly.

We talked until one of us fell asleep only to call back the next morning. My friends even had the nerve to comment on how much I talked to him.

“It’s a little obsessive...I mean you guys have been together for what a year?” Sally condescended, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Yeah? So what?” I questioned, the annoyance clear in my tone.

“I’m just saying it’s weird.” she scoffed, crossing her arms behind her head as we laid out in the sun by our pool.

“It’s weird for me to talk to my boyfriend?” I asked, making sure I was extra sarcastic.

“Every second of the day...yeah.” she chuckled, making my blood boil even higher.

I chose to be the bigger person however, and just kept to myself.

=====================================

The 5th day of my vacation, I hadn’t heard from Drew the whole day. It worried me, but I was also thinking about what Sally said. Maybe I was being clingy…

A knock on the door startled me from my thoughts. I thought maybe one of the girls had ordered food or something, so I opened the door and my mouth dropped open.

“Hi baby,” Drew greeted, my eyes watering from pure joy.

“Drew! What are you doing here?!” I asked excitedly, throwing myself in his arms.

“I came to see my baby,” he mumbled into my cheek, placing a gentle kiss on the red skin from being in the sun.

“Are you actually fucking kidding me?!” Sally exclaimed from behind us.

“Well nice to meet you too.” Drew mumbled sarcastically while letting go of me but not completely.

“Chill Sally, he’s just here a few days.” I huffed, rolling my eyes as I turned to face her.

“This is supposed to be OUR vacation!” She reiterated, throwing her arms out.

“It still is our vacation,” I emphasized.

“Not when you’ll be all over your boyfriend!” she shouted.

“I barely get to see him as it is Sal, you know that.” I said softly, trying to gain an empathy pass so she would just leave me alone.

“Whatever,” she sighed, clearly irritated as she stomped off.

I paid her no mind since she threw fits all the time like this. I pulled Drew to the room I was staying in, slamming the door shut. Drew threw his stuff by mine, then smirked at me and tackled me on the bed. I let out a little squeal, beaming up at the handsome man that I got to call mine.

“I’m so happy now,” I confessed, biting down on my lip to try and keep my tears in.

“Me too my love,” Drew whispered, sealing our lips for the first real kiss we had shared in a long time.

=====================================

Today was the day we were taking a drive to Las Vegas, which I was very very excited for. It was a nice change to wake up to soft kisses instead of Sally barging in here and demanding I wake up.

“Good morning beautiful,” Drew murmured in his deep morning voice, his kisses continuing their loving assault.

“This is a very nice wake up,” I giggled, snuggling further into him.

Drew hummed in agreement against the skin of my neck, his slight stubble tickling the delicate area. His large hands felt up the curve of my hips, taking my(his) shirt with them.

Drew had always claimed since we started dating that he was obsessed with the wide curves that I hated more than anything. He even said he loved how thick my thighs were, which I never thought in a million years I’d hear come from a man’s mouth.

“I love you, my girl. ” he whispered, my heart fluttering in my chest.

“I love you, my man.” I whispered back.

Our moment was rudely interrupted when Sally banged on the door saying we needed to hurry up. I couldn’t control my eyes from rolling in annoyance as Drew and I untangled from each other. We got ready quickly before making our way to the car to start the four hour trip.

=====================================

The drive was smooth sailing, Drew and I taking turns driving while Sally pouted about having to sit in the back. My hand clenched Drew’s tightly at her sly comments. Luckily, Drew wasn’t having it with her since he knew I wouldn't say anything.

“So this is the guy you’ve been obsessing over for the past year?” she asked snootily, knowing it would irritate me.

“I think it’s more like I’m obsessed with her.” Drew spoke up, squeezing my hand before smiling at me.

“Really? She never shuts up about you.” Sally retorted, raising a challenging brow at him.

“Well, I’m glad because I’m the same way with my friends, they love her.” Drew chuckled, but I could tell he was just as irritated as I was.

We stopped to get gas thankfully or otherwise I would have exploded. I stomped inside to the restrooms, slamming the stall door shut.

I got in the drivers side after I came out, Drew waiting by the door to open it for me. I smiled small at him, getting on my tipey toes to kiss him quickly before getting in.

We finally had made it, but things were not looking good. I had accidentally ended up in the old part of Vegas instead of the main strip, and Sally blew up on me.

“How can you be so fucking stupid is it really that hard to type shit in on a map?!” she screeched.

“It’s not that big of a deal, we're not far,” Caroline commented, annoyed with her aunt's attitude.

“God this is a fucking disaster I don’t even want to be here anymore!” she shouted, my hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Drew sat in silence, not sure what to do to diffuse the tension.

“God will you just shut up! I don’t know where every fucking place is in the world! This is my first time here just as it is yours, now just shut the hell up and let me concentrate!” I finally snapped, angrily typing on my phone to figure out where we needed to be.

I found where Caesar’s Palace was located, and they just so happened to have free parking as well. I slammed the gas and took us there. Drew and I got out of the car, but Sally and Caroline didn’t budge.

A few minutes later, Caroline storms out of the car slamming the door as hard as she could. She rushed past Drew and I, heading towards the exit.

“I’m sorry y/n, I hate that she treats you like that.” Caroline spoke up once we exited the parking garage.

“I’m used to it, she talks to me like that at work too.” I confessed, Drew whipping his head towards me.

“Y-You never told me that…” he murmured, looking down at me with an almost hurt expression.

I shook my head at him, signaling now was not the time.

=====================================

Sally threw her tantrum, then met us in the Bellagio. We sort of made up, but I did it merely so the rest of the day wasn’t awkward. Drew was quiet, probably still a bit upset with me.

We toured the hotel, the decorative flowers and artistry truly breathtaking. We ended up in front of Hell’s Kitchen where we would be eating later tonight. Drew and I took some pictures together to post on our stories while Sally and Caroline walked towards Caesar’s Palace.

“I wish you’d let me say something,” Drew blurted, sitting on one of the steps with me standing between his legs.

“No Drew, it will just make things worse.” I sighed, leaning into him.

“She’s so mean to you my love, I don’t like it.” he stated, his arms coming around me.

“I’ll be ok baby,” I mumbled, playing with his hair while smiling down at him.

“How about...you and I sneak away.” Drew suggested, tapping his fingers on my hips.

“Then they’d really be pissed,” I chuckled.

“We can just say we got lost.” he shrugged.

“Why do I feel like you’re up to something Starkey?” I questioned, raising my brow at him.

“I may or may not have booked us a room for today.” he grinned slyly, suddenly pulling me tight against him.

“To cuddle?” I teased, smirking as I ran my hands up his chest to the hairs at the back of his neck.

“Well yes...but also to fuck.” Drew said bluntly, smiling as I gasped at him.

“Joseph Starkey!” I exclaimed, giggling as my cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“Baby come on it’s been sooooo long, my balls are aching.” he whined, cupping his hand over his manhood.

“Awwww are they? My poor baby boy.” I pouted, rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs.

He nodded, his lips pouting out as well. I couldn’t help the smile widening on my face, his cute pout making my insides melt.

“Let’s go then Drewbear,” I giggled, pulling his arms to stand up.

=====================================

We quickly checked in, rushing up to the room. I didn’t have time to appreciate the beauty of the room, Drew immediately spinning me around and lifting me into his arms. Drew laid us down on the bed, my phone rang out, no doubt one of the girls calling.

“Drew, I-I should get that.” I panted, his kisses moving down my neck. I felt his hand snake down my body, reaching into my pocket to take out my phone.

“They’ll be fine without us,” Drew smirked, lifting up and silencing my phone.

“Drew I should at least text the-” I started, but stopped talking when Drew took his shirt off.

“Sorry baby, were you saying something?” he asked rhetorically, smirking at my staring eyes. I shook my head, my eyes traveling down his toned form.

Drew stared down at me, his gaze sending chills down my spine. His hands traveled from my knees, down my thighs, up until they reached the bottom of my shirt. His eyes flickered to mine, and I nodded my head. Drew’s hands went under my shirt, my breath hitching in my throat.

I lifted my hands, sitting up a little so Drew could take my shirt off. He tossed it to the ground with his, while he did that, I unhooked my bra and threw it in the same direction before laying back down. Drew’s hands ventured towards my breasts as his lips explored the skin of my collarbones, lightly nipping at the area. I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped when Drew lightly rolled my nipples between his fingers,

“Fuck,” I whispered, my nails lightly digging into his scalp as I tugged on his hair.

Drew wasted no time in getting to where he really wants. He shoved off both our pants and underwear, situating me just how he likes before he buried his face in me. His tongue worked wonders, licking and sucking on each spot that made me tick.

“Oh my, baby please don’t stop.” I begged, my back arching slightly off the bed as my legs started enclosing towards his head. Drew lifted his head momentarily to stick two of his fingers in gently, my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

“My girl has such a pretty pussy.” he commented, his breath ghosting over where his tongue had just been.

I moaned loudly at his praise, gripping the sheets between my fingers as I felt my orgasm just in reach. Drew smiled as his mouth went back to work, his fingers increasing their pace as well. I could feel the band about to snap, my legs shaking the closer I got. With just the slight curl of his fingers, the flick of his tongue, and I was done for.

“I’m-” I gasped, not finishing my sentence as my orgasm hit me like a freight train.

“Mmmmm fuck yes baby,” Drew groaned, working me through it as he watched the cum drip from his fingers and onto the bed sheets.

Drew took his fingers from me, sliding them in his mouth to suck them clean. My stomach fluttered watching him, it was the hottest thing I had ever seen him do. He then grabbed my hips and flipped us over so I was on top, my head spinning a bit from the quickness of his movements.

“My turn princess,” Drew smiled, kissing my lips hotly before lying back down.

I smirked down at him, kissing my way down his body. I got to his vline, leaving my mark down it until I got to his dick. I licked from his balls to the tip, squealing lightly when his hand was suddenly in my hair. His chest was moving at a rapid pace, his eyes burning into mine as I took him in my mouth.

“I missed your mouth so much my love, fuck it’s so good.” he moaned, throwing his head back.

I moved my head up and down, using my hands to meet my mouth with what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. His grip on my hair tightened, pushing my head slightly. I gagged once I got to the base, taking a deep breath as my eyes watered.

“I’m gonna cum,” Drew panted, thrusting his hips into my mouth as I sucked harder. I pulled all the way up, sucking on his tip and flicking my tongue as fast as I could. He moaned as he came, spurting his seed into my mouth.

“Let me see, did you swallow it all my good girl?” Drew asked, pulling my hair so my mouth was removed from him.

“Mhm,” I hummed as I showed him my tongue that was clean.

Drew smiled at me, moving his hold to either side of my face and smashing my mouth to his. I held his wrists, moaning softly into his mouth as I shuffled closer.

“Come on beautiful, I want to see you on top.” Drew whispered, helping me straddle his waist and inserting himself inside me.

“Oh my god, Drew.” I groaned, digging my nails into his shoulders.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good.” Drew grinned, helping me move on top of him.

I rolled my hips into his, the tip of his cock hitting my gspot which had me a moaning mess. Drew slid a hand down so his thumb rubbed against my clit, a high pitched whine flying from my lips as I moved faster.

“I could live in your pussy,” Drew moaned, his thumb pressing harder.

“Drew,” I pleaded, throwing my head back before coming back to stare into his beautiful blue eyes.

“Would you like that baby? To sit on my cock all day?” he growled, thrusting his hips upwards to meet mine as I came down.

“Yes, I would love it.” I whimpered.

“I can feel how close you are my love, cum with me.” he demanded, but I was already there before he finished his sentence.

“F-uck baby,” I squeaked, my body going to cloud nine as I shook on top of him.

Drew came seconds later, burying himself inside of me. I laid my head on his shoulder, ran out of energy to keep myself upwards.Drew held me to him, laying back on the bed as we calmed down.

“Ok?” he asked.

“Amazing,” I answered.

=====================================

After we met up with Sally and Caroline, explaining how ‘lost’ we were, we ate dinner at Hell’s Kitchen. It was amazing, but definitely not worth the price. We walked around a few more shops in Caesar’s Palace, actually getting lost and taking a while to find the way out.

Once we did, we came across a group of men walking by…

“Damn she thicc,” one commented.

“Ooooh she got a nice one, hello!” another yelled.

Drew turned around to say something, but I yanked his hand to keep walking.

“Do not,” I hissed.

Drew instead to make it clear I was taken, placed his hand directly on my ass.

“Drew! We’re in public!” I whisper yelled, but he made no move to remove his hand.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he shrugged.

“Hey baby! Why don’t you leave your pretty boy to be with a man for a night!” someone else called, Drew’s eyes narrowing.

I was suddenly airborne, Drew bending down and lifting me into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, surprised to say the least.

“Drew! Put me down!” I yelped, holding on to his shoulders.

“Apparently, these boys need to know you’re taken.” Drew snapped, tightening his grip on me.

“Seriously babe, you’re gonna hurt your back.” I mumbled.

“Didn’t you say your feet were hurting babydoll?” he questioned.

“Yes, but Drew-” I started.

“You’re light as a feather my love, I could carry you all day.” he spoke softly, kissing my nose before coming to a stop in front of the water show between Caesar’s Palace and the Bellagio. He sat me on the railing, standing between my legs with his hands placed on my hips. I kissed his cheek, smiling at how sweet and protective this man of mine was.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you baby,” he whispered back, sealing the deal with a soft kiss as the water show ended.

=====================================

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[semisgroupie]

An Interesting Reunion

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi X F!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff (kinda)

Warnings: language, multiple mentions of alcohol consumption, mention of a death (no specific details, no main character death), suggestive comments and themes but no explicit details of any acts

Word Count: 3.9k

Taglist is open! Reply or send an ask or message to be added!

Always Belong To You Masterlist

A/N: this is the second installment of Always Belong To You. I separated different characters perspectives with a border line so hopefully that isn’t too confusing. This is quite lengthy (I didn’t really notice when I was writing it :/) Hope y’all enjoy it!

You sat there reading the text over and over again. There’s no way that’s actually him. How did he even get your number? Well you could figure that out but you just couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that he texted you.

You were in your own world rereading the text you didn’t even notice Koushi was saying something until Eita started snapping in your face.

“Earth to Y/N, you alright there?”

You snapped your head up and put your phone back in your purse. “Sorry just an email about one of the cases I’m planning to discuss on the podcast. What were you saying?”

“I was just asking how you felt about what Wakatoshi said in the interview?”

You took your time to come up with an answer trying to find the perfect words in your frazzled mind to convey what you were feeling. “Well I’m just confused—no, unsure maybe. It’s just something out of the blue.”

Everyone at the table nods. You take another swig of your beer. It’s silent until Hajime speaks up.

“Do you know what you’re going to do? I mean do you want to give him another chance? You’re not seeing anyone currently.”

You looked down at the beer bottle then looked up at everyone who was anticipating your answer. “Honestly I have to think it all over, I have no clue what to do. He broke my heart. I—I’m not sure if I want to.”

Satori chimes in, “it looks like he’s changed a little. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s never shed a tear in front of anyone. But this is something you need to think over, just know we all support your decision whatever it is.”

Everyone at the table nods again. “Thank you guys, if it weren’t for you guys I would be a wreck.”

Eita chuckles, “oh we know, don’t even get me started on all the stories from your ‘finding myself’ period.”

The table starts laughing and you flip off Eita finishing your beer. “You and ‘Tori can laugh all you want but remember who you guys are staying with for the rest of the week.”

Both men hold their hands up in surrender. The rest of the night is filled with laughter, memories and shitty beer. Since Eita’s band is done with touring for the next month and Satori took a little vacation from his chocolate shop in France you all have made it a routine to meet up at least once a week to have some drinks and get together.

That night after walking back to your house with Eita and Satori and heading to your room while they went to the spare bedrooms you spent the night rereading the message.

“Why now Wakatoshi? If you’ve been following the podcast then there’s ways you could’ve contacted me sooner. Fuck.” You saved his number in your phone and put your phone to charge.

No matter what you tried to do you couldn’t fall asleep. Every time you shut your eyes all you saw was Wakatoshi. You got up from your bed and left your room to head to your kitchen. You grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and leaned on the counter drinking it.

About a minute after you started drinking it you heard footsteps. “Hey Y/N, can’t sleep either?”

“Hey ‘Tori. Just got a lot on mind.”

“I figured that.” He grabbed a chocolate bar from the fridge and broke it in half offering you one half. You took it and started eating it.

“So what’s on your mind Y/N? If you could pinpoint what’s going on, I felt your thoughts racing from the guest bedroom.”

You cracked a smile. One thing with Satori was that he could always feel your emotions, when you were angry he knew before you even opened your mouth, when you were happy he knew, when you were conflicted on something he would bring it up before you. He and Eita were like the brothers you’ve never had and you were grateful for that.

“I just don’t know what to do. I’m still angry over what happened, I know it was five years ago but thinking about it makes my chest tighten and I feel the pain over again. But at the same time I felt something when I heard him say he loved me still. I can’t pinpoint the feeling but it felt the same as when he first told me he loved me. I just don’t know ‘Tori—fuck”

You felt the tears stream down your face and Satori pulled you into a hug. “Shh take your time Y/N. Don’t force it all out now, think it over.”

You nodded into his chest and just started sobbing. He held you closer to him and started rubbing your back. You didn’t even notice Eita was awake until you felt another pair of arms wrap around you.

Once you stopped sobbing they let go of you. Eita broke the silence first, “I smelled chocolate and then I walked out seeing you crying. Are you okay?”

You smiled, “I feel better now that you two are here.”

They both smiled. “Well you’re a sister to us, right ‘Tori?” Satori nodded and reached for the leftover chocolate he didn’t finish and handed it to Eita. He quickly ate it.

“Damn Eita, if you’re that hungry I could make you something.”

“Haha instead of an investigative journalist you should be a comedian.” Eita remarked while flashing you the middle finger.

“Oh tomorrow at 3ish I’m gonna record an episode for the podcast so if you guys need anything please let me know beforehand and no need to worry about Connie coming over. She’s on her honeymoon in some tropical island I forgot the name of so it’s just a one man show for the rest of the month.”

Connie is your co host for the podcast, when you first started working for the journalist agency she was one of the few people you got close to. When you quit the agency she followed you and gave you the idea of making the podcast. She knew of the whole situation between you and Wakatoshi. 

You figured once she was aware of his confession on the news she was going to question you about everything ranging from how you’re feeling to what you’re going to do.

A few minutes passed and you all decided to head to your respective rooms. You thanked them one last time before heading into your room and going to sleep.

After the interview Wakatoshi thanked the interviewer and left to go to the locker room. He knew everyone went home so he would have it all to himself. Once the door to the locker room shut he broke down. Tears falling down his face like a waterfall.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m so sorry if I could do it all over again I would.”

After a few minutes Wakatoshi regained composure. He wiped his face and went to his locker to get his phone and gym bag. He checked his phone for any messages and saw a message from Eita. Once he unlocked his phone to read the message he dropped down on one of the benches.

Hey Wakatoshi! Saw your interview, I think you might need this. It’s Y/N’s phone number. XXX-XXX-XXXX

“No fucking way.” Wakatoshi muttered to himself. Before he realized it he clicked on the number and sent a message: It’s Wakatoshi. I’d love to take you out to dinner to catch up.

After sending the message Wakatoshi grabbed his things and walked out to the parking lot. He grabbed his keys from within his bag and unlocked his car, getting in the drivers seat he started the car and connected his phone to the bluetooth in the car. Immediately he heard the voice that filled his stomach with butterflies. 

“Hey wonderful listeners welcome back to Unconcealed Mysteries. If this is your first time listening, my name is Y/N, my amazing co host Connie is on her honeymoon. Now getting logistics out of the way, I’m going to talk about the murder of Jay Takeshi, a 19 year old college student...” 

While what you were talking about was absolutely sad Wakatoshi couldn’t help the smile on his face listening to your voice. Just hearing the passion in your voice made whatever you were saying sound like the most beautiful song. He was able to finish the episode by the time he got home, it’s not like he took the super long way home to be able to finish it, definitely wasn’t that. 

When he unlocked the door to his house his phone pinged. He pulled his phone out with the quickness to only see it was a text message from Tobio asking about practice the following day. He responded to the text message and opened the message he sent you, all it said was delivered. 

“Eita wouldn’t give me a fake number right? No he wouldn’t. She should have seen it by now” Wakatoshi thought to himself.

He started pacing around his living room just glancing at the message over and over again. 

“Should I text her again? No if she hasn’t replied now then she’ll probably block you if you double text dumbass.” He sighed and went to go shower. 

After his shower he checked his phone again and no reply. He plugged his phone in the charger and went to go to sleep. This night was just like the past nights, he dreamt of you. 

You looked so beautiful and the smile on your face was the one he longed to see for so long. The thing was the smile wasn’t because of him, it wasn’t for him. It was for this faceless stranger. It was like Wakatoshi was stuck in place and all he could do was watch. He watched this faceless stranger hold you, make you laugh and kiss you and all Wakatoshi could do was watch and cry. 

He woke himself up by screaming your name. He was sitting in his bed sweating and when he lifted his hands to his eyes he felt the tears, both dried and new tears. “Fuck I need to see her. I have to, I have to apologize.” Wakatoshi checked the time and it was 6 am, “okay 2 more hours until practice starts.” He got up from bed and went to take another shower. After showering he checked his phone one more time and when he clicked on the message he sent you he saw the bubble pop up with 3 dots. 

His heart started pounding in his chest. Questions were flowing through his mind. What if you’re in a relationship? What if you never want to see him again? What if—

Hi Wakatoshi, that sounds good. What’s your schedule like on Saturday? 

“YES! Yes yes yes! She replied to me. Thank you.” Wakatoshi felt like he was on top of the world. Screaming aloud to no one in particular. He immediately replied to your text asking if 8 was good for you and recommending a restaurant. 

8 sounds perfect and I love that place! I’ll see you then, keep in touch.

Wakatoshi rushed over to the calendar on his fridge and marked your reunion down. “Two more days until I can see her. Two more days until I can properly apologize.” Wakatoshi went to practice as a new man and everyone noticed, only Tobio asked about the attitude change and all Wakatoshi said was he’s getting “a second chance.”

The two days went by quicker than expected. 

“Eita! ‘Tori! Which outfit looks better?” 

“Well if you properly show us the outfits then Eita and I can properly tell you Y/N!” Satori shouted from the living room listening to Eita tune his guitar, Eita was able to snag a little solo gig at a venue across town and Satori was going to join him. Allowing to give you and Wakatoshi some “special alone time” just in case the little reunion went down that route.

You walked out in the first outfit, a nice black dress that hugged your curves perfectly and reached above your knees paired with beautiful black ankle strap heels. You walked in front of the pair and did a little twirl for the two. Both of their jaws dropped. 

“Wow, Y/N, if Wakatoshi doesn’t take you back here to fuck you then I will.” 

You quickly grabbed one of your pillow cushions and chucked it at Eita. “Eita don’t say shit like that to me. I’m a lady, remember?”

As Eita was recovering from the pillow you threw at his face Satori spoke up.

“Yeah Y/N, a lady that’s about to get fucking railed!” You chucked another couch pillow at Satori and went back to your room to try on the second outfit. You took off the dress and put on the second outfit. It is a red bardot jumpsuit paired with tan heels. You walked out and did another twirl for the two. 

“So what do you guys think? The dress or this?” 

Satori and Eita look at each other and turn back to you. “Eita and I both agree on the dress. You look gorgeous with the jumpsuit but that dress just gives that extra bit of sexy.” 

You nod and turn back to go into your room. Before you head in you yell out, “Eita can you help me with my eyeliner once I get dressed?” 

“You got it babes!” Eita turns back to Satori and whispers, “not like it’s going to last the whole night if what I think is going to happen will happen.”

The two share a little laugh and you roll your eyes pretending not to hear the comment. You slip the dress back on and fix your hair, deciding to leave it natural remembering how much Wakatoshi loved how your natural hair looked. You called Eita into your room and Satori joined so he wouldn’t be left alone in the living room. 

“Aren’t you glad I’m here Y/N? I know how much you suck at doing eyeliner.” 

You flip him off but you can’t deny the statement, you don’t often wear makeup unless it’s for a formal event like Connie’s wedding. He picked up the eyeliner and carefully placed the perfect strokes on your lash line giving you the perfect wing. 

“Wow, you’re so good at that Eita!” Satori applauded Eita from his seat on your bed, mesmerized by how nice it looked. After he was finished you finished your makeup, putting some foundation, mascara, light blush and cherry lip gloss. You checked your phone and saw it was 6 pm. 

“Okay boys, go get ready. I’ll drive the two of you to the venue so you don’t have to waste the money on an uber.” The two nodded and went to their rooms to get ready and to pack an overnight bag for the hotel they were going to stay at after the gig. You sat in the living room texting Koushi about your plans for later. 

I’m glad you’re giving him a second chance Y/N. All I have to say is don’t do anything I wouldn’t do ;). 

“Ugh why does everyone think I’m going to have sex with Wakatoshi tonight?” You sighed to yourself. You checked the time once again and it was 6:20. “Hey beauty queens, the gig starts at 7 and I don’t plan on getting caught in traffic today.”

The two came out from their rooms, “hey you can’t rush perfection Y/N you should know this.” Eita blurted once he reached for his guitar. 

“Yeah yeah, perfection my ass, let’s hit the road. Who’s riding shotgun?”

You went to your room to put your heels on and grab your purse and when you came out you saw the two playing rock, paper, scissors. You leaned against the wall and saw the final bout. Eita lost to Satori and was pouting as you all left your house to walk to your car. 

You popped open the trunk so they could put their bags in and so Eita could put his guitar in. You all got in the car and the drive there was smooth, you all sang along to the songs Satori played and there was no traffic. You parked in front of the back entrance, popped open the trunk and helped them with their things. 

You gave them both a hug and wished Eita luck on his gig. “Don’t forget to get condoms!” Satori yelled at you before heading into the venue with Eita. You rolled your eyes and shook your head and got back in your car. You checked the time and it was 6:55. 

You plugged the address into the GPS. “Okay I have about a 45 minute drive to the restaurant.” You quickly texted Wakatoshi telling him you were 45 minutes from the restaurant and you were on your way there. You put your playlist on and started the drive. 

You got there at 7:55 because you accidentally made a wrong turn while jamming out to one of your songs. You walked up to the host. 

“Hello, reservation for two, under the name Ushijima?”

He nodded, “okay ma’am I’ll walk you to the table. May I say you look absolutely stunning.” 

You thanked him as he led you to the private area of the restaurant. You saw Wakatoshi was already seated and he looked nervous. 

“Here you go ma’am. Wow, you two are very attractive together. Is there anything I could get you two until your server comes?”

You looked over at Wakatoshi, “do you drink red wine?”

“Yes, can you get us a bottle of your best red wine?”

The host nodded and left you two. Wakatoshi stood up and you had to clench your jaw to prevent it from dropping. He’s wearing a nice navy blue dress shirt with two buttons undone and jeans with dress shoes. His hair grew a bit so he had it slicked back. 

“Wow, Y/N, you look stunning. May I give you a hug?” 

You nodded and embraced him, you could feel both your heartbeat and his quicken at the closeness. After you two parted he pulled open a chair for you and you sat down and he followed. It was silent but it wasn’t a completely awkward silence.

“You look good Wakatoshi.” 

“Thank you, congratulations on the podcast. A few guys on the team listen to it and got me hooked on it.” 

Before you could ask about him the wine came and so did two steaks. “Sorry I ordered for you, I remember how much you liked when I made steak for us.”

“No worries Toshi—I mean Wakatoshi.”

“Y/N, please call me Toshi... I missed hearing you call me that.” He whispered the last part but you were able to pick it up. The night went smoothly, it was spent with the two of you catching up and reminiscing on some old times. You both shared a lot of laughs and you saw a new side of Wakatoshi. 

Wakatoshi went up to pay the bill and you quickly went to the bathroom to check your makeup. After reapplying some lip gloss and fixing your mascara you left and met Wakatoshi at the front of the restaurant.

“Y/N, do you want to go to the park? It’s not too far from here and if your feet hurt I could carry you.”

“No need to Toshi, let’s go to the park.”

You two walked next to each other and finally made it to the park. You found an empty bench and sat down. It was silent but thankfully it wasn’t awkward.

“I saw your interview Toshi.” He turned to properly face you and make eye contact. His face held an unreadable expression and your heart dropped at the sight but you just continued speaking.

“I thought what you said was beautiful. I want to give you a second chance but I don’t know if I can. I still feel something when I see you but every time I think about what happened five years ago the pain comes back. I can’t put myself through that again. I need to know you’re willing to put effort into the relationship. I won’t try to force your walls down but you can’t build them so high. I’ll be patient with you Toshi.”

His face still held the unreadable expression. “Well it’s your decision, Y/N. Do as you wish.” You heard some bitterness in his voice and you felt the pain all over again.

“Toshi are you serious?” No reply. “I can’t believe I thought you changed. You still have that same fucking expression as you did 5 years ago. I can’t believe I fell for that fucking facade on that interview. Lose my information. Goodbye Wakatoshi.”

You got up from where you were sitting and stormed off back to where you parked. “I can’t fucking believe it.” You felt the tears welling in your eyes and you let a few fall before quickly swiping them away with a tissue you had in your purse.

Wakatoshi was sitting there watching you walk away again. He sat there. “Fuck I can’t let her walk out of my life again.” This time he got up and ran after you. Once he finally caught up he grabbed your arm and pulled you to face him.

“What the fuck do you wan—” Before you could finish your question Wakatoshi leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. You felt yourself melting into it but before you fully could you pushed him off of you.

“So you think you could kiss me and make it all better?”

“I’m sorry Y/N. What I said that day was not a facade. I spoke from my heart and not my head. I didn’t think about what to say then and that’s when everything came out. I didn’t mean to make you believe it was a lie. I do love you, so much. When you walked into the restaurant it was like when I first saw you in high school. The problem with me is I think too much and that’s what drives you away. When I saw you walk away from me again it broke me, I had you there in front of me once again and I blew it because I was spending too much time in my head and not enough time with you. I promise to change for you. I never want you to walk out my life ever again. You’re the love of my life, my heart and my soul will always belong to you. Please allow me to be the one you spend your life with, please allow me this chance to prove I’ve changed. I need you by my side, I need you with me. Please Y/N.”

By the end of everything tears were falling down his face and his voice was cracking. “I’ll go on my knees, I’ll do anything Y/N. Please.”

You cupped his face and wiped the tears. “Okay Toshi.” You leaned closer to him and he met you halfway allowing your lips to meet once again. Seeing him cry in front of you shattered your heart. He did change. When you both pulled away from the kiss you just held each other.

“I love you so much Y/N.”

You replied without second thought.

“I love you too Toshi.”

A/N pt2: hi guys so we’re about halfway through the series. I hope you all enjoyed this part. Good news is that this is the end of the angst for this series. Thank you all so much on your love for the first part of this. I can’t put it into words how much I loved seeing you all enjoy it. I hope this part lived up to it and hopefully exceeded your expectations. Please look forward to the next part! —D <3

Taglist: @missalienqueen @aoi-turtle @1sillylittlething @waka-umm (for some reason it’s not letting me tag you :/) @toumukishibato18 @kentarosbaby @elianetsantana

[carriagelamp]

Weirdly enough, I often find myself reading less in the summer, since I have more time than I do during the rest of the year to do other things. Also artfight has been eating up more than a bit of my free time! But here’s a collection a graphic novels I sat around on the hammock reading, and some novels I finished up...

(Everyone go read All Systems Red, holy crow guys)

A Whale of the Wild

The “sequel” to A Wolf Called Wander, though it doesn’t actually connect to the previous novel except in the stylistic/thematic sense. A Whale of the Wild is very much a standalone novel. And a pretty decent one! Personally, I think I liked Wolf more, but this one was a pleasant, informative read, with just the right amount of crushing dread sprinkled in. It’s about a young orca called Vega who is learning to become a new wayfinder for her pod but who still has a lot to learn, especially in an ocean that is becoming increasingly hostile to orcas and the other sealife that live alongside humans. When a devastating earthquake hits, Vega and her little brother find themselves separated from their family, lost in a now horrifyingly unfamiliar environment, and fighting starvation as the salmon that sustain them become more and more unreliable. It’s a desperate fight for survival as they search for food and their missing family. This book is written for a middle grade level, and does a really good job of putting the current environmental crisis into an animal’s perspective while giving the readers something to hope for.

The Adventure Zone: The Crystal Kingdom

Every July I eagerly anticipate the next Adventure Zone graphic novel. This one is for their fourth arc, The Crystal Kingdom, in which Magnus, Taako, and Merle respond to a SOS from a floating laboratory that is gradually being consumed by crystals and which threatens the entire world should it fall into the ocean. Carey Pietsch’s art continues to be absolutely fantastic, so beautifully and hilariously expressive, and this one delivers some great Merle moments, lots of Carey Fangbattle, and, of course, Kravtiz. Kravitz, my beloved…

Anyway, I obviously always recommend these. If you’ve never gotten into The Adventure Zone, I totally recommend either trying these graphic novels — or even better, just go listen to the podcast because it really is both hilarious and creates a shockingly good and heart-wrenching story by the end.

All Systems Red

I’ve seen The Murderbot Diaries on my dash occasionally, and it always looked interesting, but a friend’s recommendation finally compelled me to read the first novella of the series. And holy shit y’all. Absolutely the best book I’ve read this month, it’s amazing. Mind-blowingly good. Also, if you’re like me and want a good audiobook, it’s a nice three-hour listen, very chill!

Anyway, All Systems Red is about a Security Unit, an artificially created being that’s part-organic part-mechanical and all-company-owned-and-controlled. However, self-named “Murderbot” has managed to hack into the system that suppresses its own will, and is now coasting along, doing the least amount of work its job requires not to be noticed, while preferring to spend all its time watching the hours and hours of soap operas it has downloaded into its brain. And it’s a tolerable if somewhat dull life, until the science team that it's currently rented to is attacked and the whole mission goes pear-shaped. Suddenly Murderbot has to scramble to keep its humans alive… while its humans scramble with the realization that their “SecUnit” isn’t actually a mindless robot like they had all believed...

This story is both gripping and hilariously funny. Murderbot has such a unique voice and perspective and it’s an absolute pleasure to follow its story. I reallly need to read the next book...

Asterix and the Banquet

A classic. I was startled when I realized I hadn’t actually read this Asterix story… but hell I’m not gonna complain, it lets me read one of the originals for the first time again! In this Asterix volume, the Indomitable Gauls and the Romans end up arranging a bet — the Romans intend to keep them under siege, trapped in their village, while Asterix is confident that he can easily evade them… and will prove it by going on a tour around all of Gaul, collecting iconic foods from each region in order to return and put on a fine banquet. So we get a fantastic adventure in which Asterix and Obelix run all over the country, pursued the whole way, while making cheerful stops at the various eateries along the way. Also the first book Dogmatix shows up in! All around, a wonderful read, fun like all the best Asterix comics are.

Beauty Pop v4

A less impressive graphic novel. The first Beauty Pop is one of my guilty pleasure manga because… it really is pretty stupid but in the best possible ways. I mean, the whole thing is framed around hairstyling battles, like a shojo sports manga without the sports. It’s bonkers. Unfortunately, the series does not really manage to hold up, and it really begins to feel repetitive and dragging as it continues… as a lot of series like this do. *shrug* Unsurprising but still kinda disappointing I suppose. The building three-way romantic tension is mildly interesting if for no other reason than the main character Does Not Notice and Does Not Care about any of it, which is amusing and refreshing.

FRNCK v5

Now this series only gets better and better as it goes. This is the first book of the second arc, and somehow the danger just seems to be ramping up and up and up. The cavefamily have lost their home… as well as Léonard and Gargouille. Heartbroken, shocked, and angry, Franck is the one who ends up shouldering the blame for their presumed deaths as the others mourn. Things only get worse when Franck finds himself separated from the family, and in the territory of another tribe, this one hostile and cannibalistic...

Haikyuu v5

I continue to read this series because it continues to be charming… though it is beginning to feel, maybe, just a little repetitive. Kind of an inevitability with sports manga. But so far it continues to be good enough to overcome that. I’m not sure what I can say about this series that I haven’t already, so I’ll simply say it continues to be one of the most impressive sports manga I’ve read, and the author does a fantastic job of creating engaging characters, fleshed out teams, and really compelling relationships. I do genuinely adore all the main members of Crows, along with a number of characters from the rival teams as well. And of course it has some kickass volleyball scenes that are just drawn so dramatically they can’t help but take your breath away a little.

M*A*S*H Goes To Maine

Meh. The original book of the series was actually quite good in my opinion. This one… considerably less so. The first part I enjoyed more, since it was about Hawkeye, Trapper, Duke, and Oliver Jones trying to set up the FinestKind Clinic and Fishmarket in Crabapple Cove (which… is just the best premise I could have ever asked for). However, the book spends most of its time describing the quirky lives and times of other people living in the area and I… just… don’t care. It was funny at times but… I just don’t care. I wanted to hear more about the main cast. Also I found this book felt more racist and misogynistic than the first which also put me off :/ Wouldn’t bother if I were you. Go read the first book instead, or better yet just watch the TV show which is an obvious banger.

My Heart’s in the Highlands

I have had this on my “currently reading” list for so long but I’m officially giving up. It’s a really good book in theory but my god I can’t get over the pacing.

It’s about Lady Jane, a woman studying medicine in Edinburgh in 1888, and who suddenly finds herself back in the Highlands in the 13th century. Lost and confused, Jane is now at the mercy Clan Donald’s hospitality while she tries to adjust to this new world and hunts for her broken time machine. Fortunately, this hospitality include a burgeoning friendship with a red-haired warrior woman, Ainslie nic Dòmhnaill, who opens Jane’s eyes to the way the world could be.

Listen. It drives me nuts. This book should be completely up my alley, it has everything I like — IT HAS ALL OF ITS HISTORICAL FOOTNOTES CITED AT THE BACK, LITTLE EXTRA DETAILS ABOUT EVERY CHAPTER. THAT’S MY SHIT RIGHT THERE. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE BEING ABLE TO GO OVER HISTORICAL DETAILS?? AND WELL RESEARCHED FOOTNOTES?? And yet it doesn’t. Fucking. Work for me. It has a kickass Scottish warrior lady as a love interest! It has a badass lady doctor! It has fish-out-of-water culture shock! But it also has a completely meandering plot, no sense of building tension, and a romance that just happens out of nowhere and feels completely unearned and uninteresting.

I would genuinely just rather read Outlander again, which I know has its own host of problems, but at least Outlander felt exciting and interesting and tense and funny. The romance built in fits and starts, it was complicated, and kept me interested. That book had me hooked (and has me hooked every time I reread it) whereas this book I’ve been sadly picking at for months like its a plate of overcooked spinach. This felt like an attempt at a queer, historically accurate knockoff which I would normally be super into but which just could not stick the landing.

Moomin on the Riviera

My first time actually reading anything from the Moomin canon. I have zero idea how to feel about it! It certainly is as feral as I’ve heard described! Overall, I think I enjoyed it but it sure made me feel strange emotions I didn’t know existed. I’m not even going to try to describe it. Read it if you want a batshit insane anti-capitalist comic.

Surviving the City

This was good in some areas, less good in others. It had a very interesting indigenous perspective on life in the modern city, the foster system, and The Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women issue, which I’ve never seen handled in a book before. Something about the pacing did not completely click with me and I found myself getting easily distracted, but it’s definitely worth the read just to experience it and look at the issues it deals with through the characters’ (and author’s) eyes. It did give me a lot to think about and wrestle with, which is sometimes the best thing a book can give you.

Torchwood: Pack Animals

A really fun read, more so than I had ever expected! If you like Torchwood and want more stories about the team before everything goes to shit, this is perfect for that. It includes the entire cast, an interest mystery to be unravelled, lots of slavering monsters, Rhys being really wonderful and sweet (which I didn’t know I wanted until I read this book), and all the humour I expect from Torchwood. I had to send a lot of quotes to my long-suffering girlfriend who a) does not watch this show but b) needs to tolerate it because I find it too funny to keep to myself. It was good enough to make me go out another book of the series since this was the only one my library carried.

[gayenerd]

I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here. 

Billie Joe Armstrong

The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.

DAVID FRICKE

Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM

You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?

This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.

Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?

Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.

When did you first vote in a presidential election?

In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.

Did you feel like you made a difference?

Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.

What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.

I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.

Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.

I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.

How would you describe the state of pop culture?

People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.

She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.

She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.

How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.

I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.

The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.

Do you regret dropping out of high school?

Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.

But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.

What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.

There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"

What have you learned about yourself?

There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.

Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.

Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.

Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.

Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?

People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."

We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."

Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?

It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.

Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.

I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.

What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?

It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.

You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?

I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.

[robinrunsfiction]

A Long Way Back - Part 1 of 2

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader

Rating: General

Requested By: Anon

Word Count: ~7,900 total, ~3400 in part 1

Author’s Note: This request asked for current Gerard with a singer who is younger and to be honest, I started this request immediately when I got it, but I’ve been picking it up and putting it down on and off since then. I was inspired by His Smile Will Keep You Safe by @xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx and I Know I’ll Lose by @sunsetinmyvein ​and while this story is nowhere near as long as their stories, I hope that you guys enjoy it regardless. I’ve also thrown together a playlist if you’re interested as well

“We are Garden of Woe and don’t you ever forget it! Thank you Milwaukee!” (YN) shouted as the band hit their final notes and the lights went out. The crowd was cheering and (YN) felt that addicting mix of adrenaline and exhaustion that she always felt after an amazing show.

“That show was sick!” Liam the guitarist raved and (YN) nodded enthusiastically as she took a swig from her water bottle on the way backstage.

“Hey guys, great show as usual,” their manager Clark grinned when they walked in the dressing room. “Can I get your attention for a second?”

(YN) looked at her bandmates, a look of confusion shared amongst them. “What’s going on?”

“I didn’t wanna tell you guys before the show and have yall be in your heads, but” he paused. “You’ve been asked to open for My Chemical Romance on their US reunion tour.”

(YN) thought she was about to either faint, puke, or die on the spot. “Clark don’t fuck with us.”

“I’m not fucking with you.”

“Oh my god, this is, oh my god,” Jake the drummer muttered, a far away look in his eyes as Rebecca the bass player just stood there with a shocked look on her face.

(YN) sunk down on the couch, legs unable to support her anymore. “I had just hoped to get tickets to one of those shows,” she said with an astonished laugh, holding her head in her hands.

“Well if you accept, you’re gonna be going to every show, getting paid to be there, and getting more exposure than you ever could dream of,” Clark replied.

“I think I speak for everyone when I say hell yes!” Liam exclaimed, the rest of the band agreeing instantly.

“Then it’s settled, I’ll get in touch with their management tomorrow morning and you better get ready because you’re about to go on a wild ride.”

~

To (YN) it felt like an instant and an eternity at the same time before Garden of Woe departed for the first stop of the MCR reunion tour. A lot of buzz had been building around their band since it was announced that they, along with Taking Back Sunday for the first half of the tour and Crystal Lake Cemetery for the second half, would be opening the shows.

“Are you so stoked Becs? Are you? Are you?!” Liam shouted, shaking Rebecca’s shoulders excitedly as their bus rolled down the highway.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to barf on you,” Rebecca snapped back. 

Everyone’s nerves had been on edge since Clark had told them the news and arguments had been erupting about things like the setlist, or what their merch would look like, and the tension only seemed to grow the closer they got to the start of the tour. Rebecca wouldn't even return (YN)'s calls for a week over a debate about what they should be wearing on stage. 

“Oh my god Liam, I say this with all the love in the world, but please shut the fuck up,” (YN) muttered.

Liam, with his endless energy, bounced across the tour bus to where (YN) was sitting and climbed onto her lap. “You! This is literally what you’ve been talking about since you were 16 years old! This is why we formed Garden of Woe, why we’ve been struggling and starving for a decade!”

“I know, but you’re never gonna see the stage if you keep bugging everyone like this,” (YN) retorted to her friend in her lap.

“What are you gonna say when you finally meet them?”

“Will we even meet them?” (YN) asked, trying to sound aloof. She had been trying not to think about actually meeting the band that she had been obsessed with and saved her life when she was a depressed teenager back in 2004. When she and Liam founded Garden of Woe, she modeled her stage presence on Gerard’s after watching hours of live performance videos. When My Chem announced they were getting back together back on Halloween 2019, (YN) cried tears of joy for hours and they did an extra encore of just MCR covers at their show that night.

“We’re gonna be on the road with them for two months, of course we are,” Jake replied.

(YN) groaned. “I can’t deal with this right now,” she grumbled, pushing Liam off her before climbing into her bunk.

A while later Clark was calling her name to come out as they had arrived at the first venue. “Alright, here is the itinerary: you guys have soundcheck at 5:30, doors are at 6:30, you’re on at 7:30. After your set, you should get to the main merch booth to sign things for the fans, but you can watch Taking Back Sunday and My Chem if you’d prefer. Then two hours after My Chem finishes, we load back in and it’s on to the next stop.”

(YN) glanced at her phone, it was just before 2 PM, which meant they had hours before their soundcheck. Hours to build up more nervous energy, to possibly run into My Chem or Taking Back Sunday, another band she’d looked up to for just as long.

The bus rolled to a stop and they grabbed the things they’d need for the show that night and headed inside. There were other big black busses already parked outside and roadies moving things around.

“This is real, this is really real. This is the biggest thing we’ve ever done and we’re really here,” Rebecca said, totally astonished as (YN) linked arms with her. 

“I’m really trying not to think about it,” (YN) replied. Even from the back of the stadium they could hear the crowd already waiting out front. When they got to the door, they flashed their badges and were escorted to their dressing room.

“Do we just wait here? Can we go walk around? I wanna go check everything out,” Liam babbled excitedly.

“How much coffee did you drink today, dude?” (YN) asked, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice.

“None. Come on, let’s get out there and meet our tourmates! Who is with me? (YN), Jake, Becs?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna try to calm down and center myself and not piss off the people who are employing us.”

“I’ll go,” Jake replied.

“Yea me too, get it over with,” (YN) mumbled. She’d met so many people touring and opening for bands she looked up to that it shouldn’t make her nervous, but Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Frank were legendary. The three bandmates started to wander the halls, peeking in doors until they heard people talking. 

“Is this happening? Are we about to meet them?” (YN) looked at Liam, her heart hammering.

“Come on,” he said, grabbing her elbow and leading the way. “‘Scuse me, sorry to interrupt, but we wanted to introduce ourselves. We are Garden of Woe.”

“Hey, nice to finally meet you guys, I’m Gerard,” Gerard said, getting up to shake their hands. Jake and Liam introduced themselves like normal humans, but (YN) was screaming internally.

“I’m (YN),” she squeaked, and Gerard gave her an amused smile and she was certain her brain melted. Then all the sudden she was introducing herself to Mikey, Frank, and Ray as well and it was as if she had transcended to another plane of existence. She listened as they easily made conversation with Jake and Liam, but she couldn’t put together a coherent thought to join in.

“Are you ok?” she heard someone asking. Shaking her head to pull herself out of her thoughts, she realized it was Gerard.

“Yea, yea, thanks, just kinda overwhelmed by everything that’s going on,” she admitted.

Gerard nodded. “Yea, being back in the tour life has been kinda weird. Overwhelming, like you said.”

“For sure. And I don’t wanna seem like, I dunno, a crazed fan, but I have to tell you, I’ve been listening to you guys since I was 16 when Three Cheers came out. It got me through so much and your performance style inspired me so much and how I perform and yea. Sorry to ramble, I just had to get that off my chest, I won’t bug you about it again,” (YN) said with another shake of her head as she put her hands over her face. She didn’t know why, but tears were stinging at her eyes. “So sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he replied and he reached out and rubbed her arm. “We saw you guys performing and that’s why we asked you to come out with us. You have a lot of talent.”

“Well thank you, this is literally a dream come true,” (YN) blushed. Receiving a compliment like that from Gerard Way himself was mind blowing.

“My Chem, you’re up for soundcheck,” someone with a headset called from the doorway.

“We’ll see you around,” Gerard waved as they made their way out the door. After the band was gone (YN), Jake, and Liam stood alone in the dressing room silently for a moment.

“Holy fucking hell we just met My Chemical Romance!” Liam shrieked.

“I know!” (YN) shouted in reply, throwing her arms around her friends in a celebratory hug.

~

"(YN). Earth to (YN)," Liam said, pulling her from her thoughts. "You ready?"

"No, not at all," she replied and Liam could see the fear in her face. It had been a long time since he had seen her that nervous before a performance. 

"You got this," he said to (YN). "We all got this, come on!"

Just then the stage lights dimmed and the crowd roared like she'd never heard before. The other three took their places on stage. "Fuck it," she muttered to herself and ran out on stage.

45 minutes later Garden of Woe was taking their bow and hurrying off stage so the roadies could switch out their equipment for Taking Back Sunday’s. The four bandmates were wrapping each other in sweaty hugs and jumping up and down, as the set had gone better than they ever could have hoped. After cleaning themselves up a bit, they went to the merch booth and signed autographs and took photos for a while, but the line cleared out again once Taking Back Sunday went on. After they finished, there wasn't much time before MCR were going to take the stage, so (YN) hurried backstage and found a crate to sit on and watch while the greatest band of their generation took the stage.

The show was absolutely awe inspiring; to watch the way Ray shredded on his guitar, the way Frank and Mikey moved around the stage, but most of all watching Gerard. He was a natural on stage, even after all this time away from it. While she had watched enough interviews on youtube to know that he was soft spoken, the way he turned that off and started to just command the stage and the crowd was incredible. What she couldn’t believe was that no one else was with her watching the show. Did they not realize what an opportunity they were missing she wondered.

"Enjoying the show?" Gerard asked when they came off stage before the encore.

"So much! You're kicking so much ass out there!" She beamed and the guys all laughed in appreciation.

Once the show was over and everyone was cleaned up, the bands all came together to celebrate a little before it was time to reboard the busses. The drinks were flowing for everyone that partook as people talked happily, but (YN) found herself without a place to sit until she decided to crash on Liam's lap.

Ray smiled as he walked over to them. “Hey, how’d the first show go?”

“Amazing!” Liam grinned.

“So amazing, but you guys, holy shit!” (YN) gushed. “I suppose when you’ve played together for so long you don’t just lose that, even after a break.”

"That’s true,” Ray nodded. “How long have you been a band?”

“About ten years,” (YN) replied. “We talked about it in high school, but neither of us could play an instrument, and life was so hard back then. We couldn’t get our shit together until after he graduated from college. It's only really been in the last few years we've been able to find some success with it.”

“So are you two together?" Ray asked, looking between the pair.

"Oh nooo," (YN) laughed. "Liam's practically my brother."

"And I'm gay," Liam interjected.

"And there's that," (YN) nodded.

“Well you guys have a real dynamic that works,” Ray shrugged. The way he treated them as if they were equals to everyone else on the tour was exactly the confidence boost (YN) needed as the tour got started.

~

The next few days of the tour were very much the same. Rolling into town, hurry up and wait, getting to know the guys in the other bands, and then finally getting on stage. After signing for fans, (YN) would rush backstage to watch MCR perform, and after that everyone would gather again until it was time to load back into the busses to the next town.

Each day was a little less nerve-wracking than the last and (YN) finally felt like she was coming out of her shell. She’d hoped that Rebecca would be her right-hand woman, since there were so few other women out on the tour, but Rebecca had been heading straight to the busses after the shows, instead of hanging out with everyone else.

“Do you have any idea what’s up with Becs?” (YN) asked the other two members of the band after their soundcheck.

“Nope,” Jake replied quickly before heading back behind his kit again.

“Just go talk to her,” Liam suggested.

(YN) grumbled before nodding and heading back to the dressing room. “Hey Becs!” (YN) said as chipperly as she could muster. “Are you gonna hang with us after the show tonight? I miss hanging out with you, and the guys are all super fun to talk to.”

“I dunno, maybe,” she replied, but (YN) couldn’t get a read on her mood.

“What are you gonna wear tonight? I was thinking my Mikey Fuckin Way shirt that I cropped,” (YN) said turning to their wardrobe rack.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Rebecca said before quickly turning and almost running out of the room. Moments later Liam came in.

“What the hell was that about?”

“I have no idea dude, I tried though, I really did.”

Despite the weirdness between Rebecca and the rest of the band, the show went well. (YN) again ducked out early from their signing to catch the MCR show from her favorite spot at the side of the stage. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was imagining things, but it seemed like whenever Gerard looked her way, he’d always smile just at her.

“Still enjoying the show?” Gerard asked when he came off stage before their encore.

“I’ve got years of not seeing you guys live to catch up on, I’m never gonna get sick of it,” she laughed.

Gerard nodded. “I caught your show tonight, you guys are really killin it.”

(YN) could have sworn her soul left her body for a moment. “R-really?”

“Yea, I really-”

“Gee, we’re back on,” Ray said tapping him on the shoulder.

(YN) waved him off as he went back on stage and the crowd roared again. She tried to keep from screaming herself, but for an entirely different reason.

At the end of the show, everyone convened as usual for the post-show celebration. (YN) was glad to find that Rebecca had joined the group, even if she was mostly just talking to Jake. She had meant to talk to her, but got pulled into a conversation with Adam instead.

“Ok, but can you teach me to swing the mic like you do and not kill someone?” (YN) asked with a laugh. 

“Sure thing, how ‘bout after your sound check tomorrow?” Adam offered.

“Perfect, can’t wait!” (YN) grinned, but in the corner Rebecca was rolling her eyes.

From the other side of the room Mikey was trying to talk to Gerard, but he was noticeably distracted. Following his brother’s line of sight, realized Gerard was watching (YN)’s animated conversation with Adam. He bumped his shoulder into Gerard’s. 

“You really are into (YN) aren’t you?” Mikey asked with a knowing smile and Gerard just shrugged dejectedly. “Why don’t you just ask her out or something?”

“I can’t,” Gerard replied.

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Because why? Why? What good reason do you have?” Mikey argued.

“Because I’m older than her, because I don’t want her to feel obligated to spend time with me just because we’re on this tour together. Because I’m not… I’m not the Gerard Way I used to be.”

"What the fuck does that mean?" Mikey asked sternly.

"I know I'm not a sexy rock star anymore, I'm a divorced dad with grey in his hair and," he sighed. "You know what I mean."

"Gee, you know you're in a better place now in so many ways than you were before. Stop talking yourself out of it.”

Gerard just grumbled in response. He knew his brother was right, he was better off now than he was ten years ago, worlds better than he was even longer ago than that. But he couldn’t help but worry that (YN) wouldn’t be interested in him. At least not the current version of him. 

But that didn’t change how he felt about her

~

The next stop on the tour was Riot Fest, but Garden of Woe would not actually be opening for My Chem and Taking Back Sunday. They had been relegated to one of the smaller side stages earlier in the day. (YN) and Liam were hanging out on the curb outside their bus in the warm, mid September Chicago air when Frank and Gerard came by.

“Hey, when are you guys on today?” Frank asked.

“At 4:30, why?” Liam answered

Frank climbed in between the two and pulled out his phone. “Gerard is always talking about how awesome your show is, so I was gonna promote you guys.”

(YN) looked up at Gerard who smiled shyly. “Well Gerard, why don’t you get in on this too then,” she smiled.

“Sure,” he nodded and sat down next to her as Liam took Frank’s phone and held it out so he could get everyone in the shot.

“Hey guys, we’re at Riot Fest, and before we play tonight, you gotta go check out our friends Garden of Woe," Frank said to the camera.

“4:30 on the Riot Stage,” (YN) added, flashing a peace sign before Liam finished recording. “Thanks guys, we really appreciate it. I don’t know how many people would be stopping by our set without the promo.”

“Well they should be, like I said before, you’re amazing,” Gerard replied as (YN) looked over at him with a soft smile. Over (YN)’s shoulder, Liam and Frank were exchanging knowing looks.

Hours later the band was waiting off stage, a few minutes before they were due to go on for their set.

“Holy shit, I didn’t expect the crowd this big,” Jake said after peaking out.

“I guess Frank’s post worked,” Liam shrugged.

“What post?” Rebecca asked.

“This one,” (YN) replied, pulling out her phone and pulling up the post she’d bookmarked. She let the video play, smiling happily at the four of them on the screen.

“Look at you all cozy with My Chem, what a surprise,” Rebecca deadpanned.

(YN) shot her a confused look and was about to open her mouth when Liam interjected.

“Ha, look at these comments,” Liam said, snatching the phone away. “People are totally shipping you and Gerard, (YN).”

“Shut up, no they aren’t,” she replied, but could feel her cheeks burning red.

“Yea they are, look!” He said pointing them out. (YN) scrolled through and couldn’t help but feel honored that people would think that she and Gerard made a cute couple. She could only imagine what it’d really be like.

“Don’t we have a show to play?” Rebecca asked snidely, snapping her from her thoughts.

“Becs is right, come on let’s get ready.” (YN) nodded, putting her phone away.

The energy of the crowd was great, and the fans that were up front were actually singing along, which brought a smile to (YN)’s face. An even bigger smile crossed her face when she glanced at the side of the stage and saw Gerard and Frank were there watching the show too.

Part 2

[blxxdyvalentine19xx]

First Dates & Hotel Rooms - MGK x Blacbear

Characters: Blackbear x Machine Gun Kelly

Word count: 1252

Warnings: Swearing, wine,

Smut or fluff?: Fluff

Song: To Begin Again - Ingrid Michaelson & Zayn Malik

(re posting because I liked this one)

Colson took to pacing the floor of his hotel room, looking up when he heard the door open. Without a second thought, he breathed in and went over pulling Matthew into a kiss. Colson’s hand found the front of Matthew’s shirt in the process, letting the air leave his lungs and his eyes shut he groaned when Matthew’s hand met his thigh.

“Hey” Matthew’s hand went to Colson’s thigh as the rapper kissed him. “Not even a hello first?” He teased, the two had been kind of flirting lately so Matthew wasn’t entirely surprised by the bold greeting. “We’ve got a while so we aren’t jumping into anything just yet” Matthew returned the kiss before breaking it. He ran a hand through Colson’s blonde hair and smiled. “Shit, you’re cute”

“Hi” Colson half blushed and smiled when Matthew teased him. “Just really needed a kiss” He whispered, it was something that weighed on his mind. “Mm, I know” Colson made a closed eyed duck faced look, grinning when he was called cute, he liked how it sounded coming off Matthew’s tongue.

“That’s better” He winked, slapping Colson’s ass on his way into the main part of the room. “Course you did” Matthew smiled, seeing Colson had received his text earlier about the sushi and red wine. “I wasn’t coming out here and not making it worth the time” He spoke, it was the best they could do on a moment’s notice between Coloson’s tour dates. “It might not be conventional but it’s the best I've got last minute.”

It was what one would call a ‘first date’ so Colson did what the test had said. He wanted it to be something worth them remembering. “Nothing wrong with that” Colson read a text from one of the guys and answered it as Matthew had taken to the bathroom. There was no going back now and he took the time to uncork the wine bottle. “I’d say it’s a pretty good idea to come last minute like that”

Matthew admitted Colson could clean up nice before taking to the bathroom to change into a black dress shirt and pants. “I know you aren’t much for wine so I do apologize for that” He buttoned up the shirt, flipping the collar down. “Simple but effective” Matthew slipped his pants on and did the up, slipping his belt on after tucking the shirt in. Deciding to ditch the hat he set it aside before walking back out.

“I’ll drink it but it isn’t my first choice” Colson shrugged, pouring the glasses. “No need to a…” He looked up, his mouth ran dry when his eyes met a dressed up Matthew. It was a different look and he found himself in awe of how handsome the singer is. “Very effective,” Colson beamed, setting the wine bottle out of the way.

“Not too bad yourself” He said as Colson was in an understated blue and white polka dot shirt that he was sure belonged to Mod and a pair or black dress pants. “Even if it is Derek’s shirt” Matthew came over taking the glass Colson handed out to him. “So, you’ve been busy, talk” The two of them had opted for the floor as they sat down.

Colson had copped the shirt off Mod earlier and shrugged. “He knows, kind of made me spill, knows I don’t dress up so he wanted a reason.” Sitting down, Colson took a sip of his wine and set his phone under the coffee table. “Can’t really lie to Mod” He handed a set of chopsticks to Matthew and relaxed.

“It was him who helped me with the idea so he would have known when you asked.” Matthew half chuckled realizing Mod was playing the ‘dad’ card. “I take it he’s just being protective of the both of us.” He took the chopsticks, grinning when Colson struggled to hold them. “Out of practice are you?” Matthew and Colson had often done sushi nights back home and Colson had gotten pretty good with Chopsticks but seemed out of practice.

“He came up with a good idea then” He stuck his tongue out as Matthew poked fun at him. “It’s been a while, don’t tease” Colson let go of a relieved sigh as when Matthew showed him again. “Haven’t really been up to much lately, Rook and Mod spend most of their time together and Baze, Slim and I try to get out when we can”

◯◯◯

Sometime into the evening Colson refilled their wine glasses. He let his mind wander for a few short moments before a smile spread across his cheeks, his hand found Matthew’s lacing their fingers together. “Don’t think I mentioned waking up to find out Derek cuffed me to the bed one night when I was drunk” Colson looked over at Matthew, acknowledging his presence while they talked.

Matthew raised an eyebrow hearing Colson and handcuffs in the same sentence, it wasn’t something that surprised him too much. “I don’t think you have.” Taking a sip of his wine he glanced at the blonde. “So tell me the story, teddy bear” Matthew shifted so he was sitting up.

“Said I kept trying to blast Beyonce’s Single ladies and dance to it in the lobby of whatever hotel we were in.” Colson had bits of memory of the night in conversation and smiled. “I remember him saying the next morning that I wouldn’t stay put and kept trying to escape” He still wondered how Mod had cuffs and it now occurred to him. “Rook said I'd been whining about wanting bear hugs” Colson thought for a second “Which I think might have been me missing you and not making any sense.”

He suppressed a laugh and shook his head at the image of Colson listening to Beyonce. “Well when it comes to it, cuffs would keep you in place.” Matthew smiled at the thought of a drunk Colson wanting him around. “Could have been, that is what you usually call my hugs” He set a now half empty glass aside and they both shifted so they were knee to knee.

Colson nodded, finishing off his glass and setting it on the coffee table. “usually does” He ran a hand through his messy hair. “It had to be you I meant” Colson looked up, biting his lip. “You’re the only one I really use those words about” His hand played at Matthew’s knee while he talked. “I was drunk and all I wanted was you to cuddle me” Colson found that he was falling for Matthew, it made being apart harder on him.

Matthew looked at Colson’s hand, relaxed as the blonde talked. “ That would have been something though” He took Colson’s hand as he stood up. “Kind of hard to cuddle you when you’re on the other side of the world.” Matthew winked when Colson’s hands came to rest on his hips. “But I am here now so I could make up for it” He slipped his arms around Colson’s neck being pulled down into the rapper's lap. “What are you thinking about, baby?” Matthew planted a kiss to the bridge of Colson’s nose, letting his eyes shut.

“I know, I hate not being around and you being so far away right now.” Colson buried his head in Matthew’s neck, breathing him in. “You make up for it by just being here” He whispered, pressing a hand flat against Matthew’s back. “Thinking about how fucking much I miss you”

Visual

[writers-hes]

christmas record.

hello! thank you so much for reading cherry, falling, and late christmas. if you haven’t read them yet, you could do so by clicking the link here. 

if you want to be a part of my taglist, you can do so by clicking this link. 

this is a fluffy christmas fic and even though christmas is done, i hope you enjoy it! this is my longest fic yet, with 6785 words! how cool is that? anyways, read and enjoy! send me feed back and requests, i really appreciate them :) 

HAPPY 100+ FOLLOWERS I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

warning: unedited ! i was rushing to post this before christmas but i’ll be going over my fics soon to edit everything. thank you! 

------------

you were a photographer. you liked going to free shows around town, taking pictures of everyone in it. you liked how music swayed them and made them live in the moment. photography was your way of immortalising that fleeting moment. still, you weren’t as successful as other photographers to make it as your main source of income and that was okay. as long as you get to share your art with an audience, you knew you were doing something. you were on a break from your shift at baskin robbins when your phone notified that you just received a message.

helenepamburn.photography: Hello i just want to say i absolutely love your work!!

your phone read. helene pemburn was a photographer you’ve never heard of before. you decided to look at her instagram and check out her work and damn, it is amazing. it seems as though her muse was harry styles, your best friend’s favourite male artist. you have listened to his songs before, even downloaded his first album and he was good.

35mmdiary: oh my god!! thank you so much. i love yours too!! portrait is something that i’m not entirely good at :-)

helenepamburn.photography: Im helene, by the way ! What camera set-up do you usually use? 35mmdiary: hi, helene!! i’m y/n. i usually just use a minolta xg-1 camera and i switch up on the lenses…i’m more of a film photographer than a digital one…
helenepamburn.photography: Ah! so you don’t use dlsr cameras?? 😮

35mmdiary: i do but i just take whatever photo and then edit it on lightroom…with my old presets hehehe

35mmdiary: oh im sorry i have to go i have to finish my shift!! 


the conversation ended at that at first but weeks into it and you found yourself really enjoying talking to helene. she became an instant friend, exchanging tips and tricks on photography. she would even talk about how it was touring with harry and etcetera. you wanted to meet each other soon but it was hard, seeing as your finals was right around the corner and harry releasing his new album.

———

“helene, who are you talking to? you’ve been on that phone for so long!” jeff azzof asked. it wasn’t unlike helene to type away at her phone 24/7. she was usually in her corner, editing harry’s photos for the world to see. “y/n,” she muttered. “who?” 
“i found her on instagram and she really has amazing shots! look,” helene said, showing your instagram to jeff. “and this is all film! no editing,” she praised. “oh wow, she is good,” jeff commended. “yeah, well…about that. i think i’m gonna take a break from work first,” helene started. jeff looked at her quizzically. “i know harry’s about to release his album and there’s the thing at the forum and etcetera but i think y/n is gonna be a good replacement, no?” 
“does harry know?” he asked. he was a little concerned that helene’s leave was a little sudden. sure, she’s been working hard, always going where harry was and taking photographs of him but still, it was abdrupt and it wasn’t quite what he was expecting. “ah, no not yet. i was hoping you could talk to him about it?” she shyly asked. harry’s been a ball of stress lately and helene knew that if something out of the schedule were to happen, harry would freak. “helene…” jeff warned. helene looked at him, practically begging him to go tell harry. jeff only sighed and nodded. “thank you!” she gushed. “i owe you one, big time,”

———

it was almost the holiday break, and you can already feel the christmas in l.a.—it’s not snowing, particularly and it’s not as iconic as new york christmas but you can already see christmas lights hanging downtown and at the grove. starbucks already released their holiday drinks and their holiday cups. you were finishing your last paper for the term, ready to finally get back to photography. you finished ahead of everyone else in class and begged some of your professors to let you take some quizzes and tests in advance. perhaps you were lucky this christmas because they allowed you to and you passed your term with good grades.

helenepemburn.photography: y/n I have a question to ask…
35mmdiary: sure what is it??

helenepemburn.photography: Are you done with classes? The semester?? 35mmdiary: yeah why?? helenepemburn.photography: How would you feel about replacing me as a photographer??? Im about to go on a break and I want you to be my fill-in??? You will be paid the same fee as I do during those days too

35mmdiary: What??? are you sure?? helenepemburn.photography: Yes!! The team will be in l.a. next week for a couple of interviews and etc so would be able to meet you and show you the ropes and hang out!!

35mmdiary: sure!! send me the details…i’m free until christmas anyway :)

helenepemburn.photography: See you then !! Im so excited to finally meet you !!

———

it’s been a few days and your best friend was absolutely ecstatic to know that you were harry styles’ photographer for a few weeks. you’ve been thinking about backing out but from your conversations with helene, it seems like she was really craving for a short break. she told you about going to japan and malibu with harry to take behind the scenes photographs. she loved it, of course but she was getting drained. besides, you will be paid a good amount of money for your services, unlike some of the previous bands who told you that you will have a shoutout for the ‘free’ photos you would give them. artists who don’t support artists suck, don’t they?

“i can’t believe! harry fucking styles!” your best friend, gina, exclaims. she was a harrie, the biggest one you’ve seen. she went to the forum, the closing venue for his first solo world tour, bought merch, and runs a fan account on twitter. “shh! keep it down, gina! it’s just a temporary job. i just took it as a favour to helene and also because it pays well. i can pay a little more to my college debt,” you muttered. “still! once you’re on tour with him, don’t you ever forget me,” she fake cries. “i just want a video greeting for harry, okay? like the one that i got you when i met adore delano,” she told you. you nodded and she squealed, jumpy in her seat because she was about to receive a personalised video from harry styles.

———

helenepamburn.photography: Im free right now if you want to meet up!! Im in la and i forgot how much i hated la traffic ://

35mmdiary: sure! where do you wanna meet? helenepamburn.photography: Harry rented an airbnb for all of us in beverly hills…would you like to meet in a coffee shop near it?? Im really craving for american starbucks right now 35mmdiary: sure! i’ll meet you there at 2:30? helenpamburn.photography: Ok and then we can go to the airbnb to meet up with jeff so he could walk you through the details sound good? 35mmdiary: okay…i’ll see you in a bit! be safe ! 


you immediately went inside your shower to take a bath. you were finally meeting helene! you didn’t know who jeff was but you decided to dress a little nicer today just in case this jeff guy was a little strict. opting for minimal make up, your favourite floral pants, white shirt, and your boots, you decided to head out with your iPad and film camera to show helene some of your photos.

it’s almost 2:30 when you arrived at the coffee shop. helene was already there, waving at you excitedly. you smiled and jogged up to her. “helene!” you called as she greeted you with a hug. “y/n! i’m so happy i get to finally meet you!” she laughs. “i hope it’s alright, i already ordered for you,” she says. “oh! thank you. how much was it? i’ll pa—“
“don’t be silly now! it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about it. now, tell me, how have you been?” she asked. you chuckled. “i’m good! i finished all my papers early to focus a little bit on my photography,” you tell her. “college is really sucking the life out of me! i worked part time in baskin robbins too so the stress is just too much,” you grumbled. “ah, well, i promise photographing harry isn’t that stressful. he’s quite chill with whatever you present him as long as it’s in black and white,” she joked. “kidding aside, harry’s whole crew is kind. very approachable and very good people,” she informed you. her words brought comfort over you as you were worrying about how they would treat a newbie. “i’m just really taking a break because i’m so tired! besides, my best friend will get married on christmas and i wanted to be there and take some pictures,” she says.

“you did mention that you like wedding photographs too,” you told her. “i love them! they’re so fun and the vibe is so different. i’m a bridesmaid so i just have to be there, you know? i’m wearing a really cute dress too! here, i’ll show you,” she gushed. she took out her phone and opened the picture. it was a great dress. it was a long peach dress and helene said that all the bridesmaids had dresses inspired by the colours of the sunset. “that’s so cool! i wanna get married someday but then again, not really,” you shared. helene nodded at that. you both spent the afternoon together, walking around beverly hills and just talking.

“hey, let’s go back to the airbnb so i can introduce you to everyone!” she gushed. she booked an uber and then immediately dragged you to the car. you loved how chatty and enthusiastic she was, basically telling you her life story and her friend’s life story in just a few hours. you rode the car once it arrived and it zoomed past the fancy beverly hills neighbourhood. it was a few minutes after when you arrived at a big house. “we’re here! i’m so excited for you to meet jeff, mitch, sara, claire, and everyone else!” she squealed. she beat you into paying for the fare and then dragged you again to the main, where she knocked and cursed at jeff for not opening the door immediately in french.

“fuck’s sake, helene! hold on!” a man called from the inside. “that’s jeff, he’s the oldest in this house but doesn’t seem like it,” she snickered. you were about to reply to helene when a friendly-looking man opened the door. he was scowling at helene, a facial expression she only chuckled at. “hello, jeff! this is y/n, y/n, this is jeff,” she introduced. “hi, it’s nice to meet you,” you told jeff. “same here,” he brushed off. “come in, enter,” he said cooly. you frowned, helene said that they were nice people but jeff seems so intimidating. “give the poor girl a break, jeffrey!” helene said. she guided you to the living room and made you sit on the the couch. “so, i take you’re helene’s replacement while she’s away?” he asked.

“uh—yeah,” you replied, picking on the loose thread of your white shirt. he chuckled at your nervousness. “you dress like harry,”
“sorry?” you asked. helene laughed, noticing how similar you dressed with the star. “she does! i just noticed that!” your friend exclaimed.

“anyways, i’ll be fetching some papers and documents you have to sign. harry’s a big star after all, we can’t trust everyone,” he said before going to god-knows-where. “i’m sorry! he’s not really like that. it’s just that many people before you came here with me as an intern or something but they always end up leaking photos, putting harry in trouble and all that,” helene apologised. “oh, i totally understand. it’s no problem,” you reassured. you were fumbling on your shirt, once more, when jeff arrived. “here,” he put the folder on the coffee table. “read the document over and sign it if you agree, of course…it’s just about harry’s privacy and all that,” he said. “call me when you’re don, i’ll just make us a drink,” he left the room again and probably into the kitchen. you read over the document a few times before signing on the required pages. it was basically concerned with harry’s privacy and how you couldn’t sell harry’s photographs to the tabloids. helene was there with you to explain the whole contract and how the ropes would work.

“she’s done, jeff!” she called. jeff emerged from the kitchen with a tray of iced coffee and some fruits. he laid the tray down on the table gently and took the folder from your grasp. you watched as he made sure that you signed all of the pages on the papers and smiled. “welcome to the team!” he suddenly beamed.

“thanks,” you smiled at him.

“i’m sorry for being rude earlier. it’s just that some photographers and ‘newbies’ take this job for granted. so, anyway,” he coughed. “help yourself to some coffee and tell me about yourself,”

“well, uh—i’m y/n y/l/n. 21 years old and i’m currently taking up business ad. i really love photography but my parents aren’t really set on supporting me have it as my profession in the future. i, uh, also take photographs of artists in free shows but i mostly do film, if that’s okay? harry’s photos will be developed after four hours if we’re here in l.a. but probably more than that if we’re not here, which i’m assuming won’t happen? i have a friend from one of my electives who knows how to develop film,” you told him.

“it’s worth the wait, jeff! do you have some photos, y/n?” helene interjected. you nodded and took out your iPad.

“uh, you can just swipe through the images of the scenes and people i took,” you told him, opening the photos app and into your digital portfolio. you handed jeff the ipad and waited anxiously. “wow, these are good. helene actually showed me your instagram already and i’m impressed. now, we will give you some money for the films and the development process when you start working, which is tomorrow—“

“ah, it’s okay.  the salary is enough to cover for everything,” you reassured. “no, no. i insist. helene also had the same budget. besides, you’re doing us a favour for agreeing to this job instantly,” he said. you nodded shyly. “anyways, you could stay here in the house or something since helene will leave the day after but that’s your choice, completely.” he said. “i’ll just stay in my apartment,” you told him. he nodded and looked at the time. “well, dinner’s about to start. i suggest you attend so you could meet everyone,” he smiled. you nodded, not really wanting to piss your new boss. “i’m sure everyone’s excited to meet the baby of the team,” he chuckled.

“ah! i’m so excited for you to meet claire and sara. you’re gonna love them!” helene squealed. “wait here, okay? i’ll just change into my pyjamas,” she said. you nodded and watched her leave the living room, leaving you alone with jeff.

“so, where did you grow up?” he asked. “i actually grew up here in california and then moved here in l.a. for my studies,” you informed him.

“that’s great,” he nodded. “let’s just wait for everyone else to come,” he said. you nodded and spent the following minutes chatting with helene and jeff. he may have been intimidating at first but he was a pretty chill guy. you liked his humour and immediately clicked once helene told him about the time some bands were lowballing you with a shoutout, to which jeff told you you should be charging more for your shots. it was nearing eight when two girls barged in the door, bringing some takeout.

“sara, claire!” jeff greeted. “this is y/n, the newest baby of our team,” he said. you waved at them shyly.

“she dresses like harry,” sara observed. “that’s what i thought so too!” jeff chuckled. he took the paper bags from the girls. “i’ll just fix this up in the kitchen while your girls chat,” he said while going back to the kitchen. “jeff is such a dad to all of us,” sara said once she sat in front of you with claire. “yeah, it’s nice knowing that there’s parental love going around here or it would be such a mess! mitch is the slobbiest person ever while sara here, hates his mess!” claire said. “so, how did you know helene was about to leave?” she asked. she wasn’t asking in an intruding way, she was just curious.

“well, helene and i are ‘internet friends’,” you told them. “i’m a photographer and i mostly use film. it was her who told me to come fill-in for her while she was away,”

“wait, youre 35mmdiary?” sara asked. you nodded. “she’s been raving about your work and harry seemed to like it too! i follow you on social media!”

“me too! i love your work! so, so good,” claire added.

“thanks, guys! that really means a lot to me,” you said. you took a mental note to follow them back once you go back home.

“where are the guys, anyway?” helene asked. “we couldn’t start dinner without them,”

“mitch told me he was with harry, buying some chinese food. they’re on their way back, though.” sara said.

“oh well, let’s just wait for them to come back,” helene said. you girls nodded and chatted for a bit until eighteen minutes later, the door opened, revealing the harry styles himself and mitch.

“i told you, haz! you should’ve bought soup dumplings instead of the fried ones,” a guy with long hair complained.

“but there might be holes in the dumplings and all the soup would fall out. fried dumplings are the safe option, honestly,”

“guys—“

“sarah, tell harry that soup dumplings are better that fried o—“ he stopped, just realising that there was another person in the house. “hello, who are you?” he asked, utterly confused.

“i’m the photographer filling in for helene while she’s away,” you spoke. “ah, well in that case, hello! my name is mitch,” he said. when he noticed that harry wasn’t speaking soon, he spoke again. “this is harry and that over there is adam,”
“oh yeah, i know. hi, harry,” you shyly waved at him. you also waved a greeting to adam to which he returned. harry gave you a tight-lipped smile. you always imagined this moment to be somewhat chill but right now, your cheeks were absolutely burning because of how beautiful he was. pictures didn’t do him justice, no offense to helene but it was the reality. “i’m y/n,” you added.

“hi, y/n. i’m harry but mitch already beat me to it,” he muttered. mitch only laughed and told him to go to jeff so he could set up the table.

“she kinda dresses like you, no?” mitch commented once he thought they were out of earshot.

it was less than ten minutes when jeff called you girls to go to the dining room. you were sat beside helene and in front of harry, who seemed to look everywhere but you.

“well, this was supposed to be a simple dinner but it isn’t. let’s welcome y/n into the family and bid farewell to helene,” jeff started. “everyone say ‘welcome to the family, y/n’!” there was a chorus of welcomes around the table and you only managed to mutter a shy ‘thank you’ to everyone.

“so, how did you know helene?” mitch asked. “oh we met through the internet,” you replied. “she messaged me about my work and then i looked at her profile a bit and decided that i loved he work too,”

“we’ve known each other for months but only met today, actually.” helene said. “huh, i would’ve thought that you knew each other for years but then again, helene has always been the noisy one,” adam commented.

“you’re just as noisy as i am! i cant believe this is how you treat me on my last day until i come back,” helene faked sobbed.

“let’s jusy eat dinner, yeah? poor y/n must’ve been so tired and hungry from all the talk you’ve been drilling into her,” adam said. everyone nodded and took their food. you shyly opened your chinese take-out box.

“y/n, i’m sorry if this is rude but i haven’t seen any of your work before,” mitch suddenly said.

“i’m not really a big photographer,” you started. “honestly, i just go to free shows and then offer my services for a cheaper price,”

“you should definitely see her work, babe. so, so, good! she does film and that’s like, super hard,” sarah added. babe? “y/n, show him your ipad so they’ll believe me!”

“alright...” you nodded and fished for your ipad, opening the album that contained your beat shots so far. you handed it to mitch. you stared at him for any reactions and was glad to see him focus on your pictures, zooming in on some of them.

“these aren’t filters? damn, you’re good. yo, look at this, adam! isn’t this the band you’ve been listening to on soundcloud?” mitch asked, showing adam your photograph of the vocalist of peach pit. adam looks over and gapes.

“y/n, this is so good! what’s your username on insta? i’ll give you a follow!”

“it’s 35mmdiary! i’ve been showing you gus her work for months now,” helene grumbled.

the dinner started and ended like that, with friendly banter from what seems to be a loving environment. jeff was definitely the father of the group. you liked everyone but harry. he hasn’t talked to you all night, just stealing some glances at your direction. helene booked you an uber and told you to text her once you’re home. you nodded and bid her good bye before riding into the car.

———

“harry, what do you think of y/n?” jeff asked once you left.

“pretty cool girl, yeah?” he commented.

“you barely looked at her! she’s quite lovely,” claire added.

“probably because he finds her cute or something,” mitch teased. “always does that! playing hard to get but really, what is there to get?”

“shut up, mitch,” he blushed. it was true. harry did sort of find tou attractive. you were so kind to everyone, taking their compliments gracefully. you got along so well with the other members and he wanted to talk to you but adam and helene hogged the conversation. perhaps he should talk to you alone, sometime?

“okay so, christmas is coming soon and once again, we will be needing to have our secret santa!” sarah said, changing the subject as harry looked like a poor fish gaping.

“should we include y/n?” adam asked.

“of course! she’s a part of our family now, even if it’s temporarily,” helene said.

“yeah and we should take you out instead...” harry teased.

“hey! that’s not nice,”

“well, she’ll be coming in tomorrow and basically everyday to accompany harry on photoshoots and to get some shots as well. we could talk to her about it tomorrow,” jeff informed. everybody nodded at that.

“gotta go back to my room, m’tired from today,” harry yawned. everybody said good night as he left tahe living room.

———

unknown to them, harry was actually looking theough your instagram. he decided to follow you once he reached his assigned room. everybody was right, you are good. he was so excited to have you as a part of the team.

harrystyles: Nice meeting you today, y/n. x

35mmdiary: hi hi!! it was nice meeting you today too :-)

harrystyles: Your works are lovely. I’m so excited to see more of your work.

35mmdiary: thanks ! i hope you like what you see so far. thanks for hiring me by the way

harrystyles: It’s quite alright! I loved what Helene showed me. I tried to get into film photography but it never worked out. So hard to figure out the settings. :(

35mmdiary: i actually started with dispposable cameras! they really helped me know what i like! i could teach you some of the stuff i know if you like. im not a pro or anything but i think there’s a few things i could teach you?

harrystyles: That sounds great! When are we doing it?

harrystyles: Can we do it tomorrow? I’m free tomorrow.

harrystyles: Only if it’s okay with you. :)

35mmdiary: yes of course ! i could meet you in the house tomorrow morning ?

harrystyles: No, it’s okay. I’ll just have someone pick you up just send me your address. I’m not a serial killer, I promise.

you gave harry your address and your number, just in case he needed it. that night, you looked for your spare disposable films while harry told jeff that you would be accompanying him tomorrow. jeff only teased harry but allowed it anyway.

———

“good morning!” you chirped as you entered the black range rover. harry smiled at you. the driver at the driver’s seat nodded at you.

“good morning, love. i got you breakfast, if it’s okay. if you don’t like it i could eat it and we could go somewhere else for breakfast,” harry rambled, offering you a brown bag. you looked into it and saw a ham and cheese croissant—your favourite sandwich.

“this will do just fine. this is my favourite sandwich,” you said as you dug into the bag to get your sandwich. “would you like some? we could share if you like,” you offered. harry shook his head no, telling you that he already ate the same sadnwich as you did.

“by the way,” you started as you swallowed the pastry. “i got some disposable cameras that you could use in my bag,”

“you shouldn’t have...” harry pouted. “i basically hogged your whole day and now you’re giving me stuff too?”

“it’s okay. i wanted to. as long as we end just in time for me and helene to say goodbye to each other,” you smiled.

“lunch is on me then! i know this place near santa monica that served the best chicken wings!” he declared. you chuckled at his etermination to get even with you. “what are we doing today, by the way?”

“well, i was thinking we could go on a classic photowalk. it’s basically just us walking and taking photos of the things we like,” you told him. “i was thinking we could take photos downtown...” you trailed off, not realizing that the paparazzi might see harry. “or somewhere else you like so we could avoid the paparazzi,”

“we’ll go downtown then!” he said, not really caring about tomorrow’s tabloids. harry liked your presence. for some reason, it made him feel at ease. he didn’t care if you’d be labelled as harry’s girlfriend tomorrow. he just wanted to have a nice afternoon walking around and taking photos that he like.

“well, for me, it’s the perfect place. if you’re into portraits, you could photograph people! if you’re into sceneries, you could do that too,” you gushed as you finished the last of your croissant. “i like sceneries and candids a lot. taking portraits is something that i’m not really good at,”

“at least you know something! i’m such a beginner,” he admitted. “drop us off here, please, thank you.” harry told the driver. the driver nodded and stopped the car. harry immediately went out, dragging tou by the hand to hide from onlookers. it’s not like he didn’t want to meet fans, he did. it was just that he’d rather be unnoticed when dealing with private matters, such as spending time with a girl whom he finds cute to gain some brownie points. he led you to an empty alley.

“you alright?” he asked. you nodded and fished out for the cameras in your bag.

“harry? here are the cameras. there are 36 shots per camera and because i brought you theee, you could do more than a hunderd. just give them back to me after you use it so i could have my friend develop them,” you breathed.

“thank you so much, y/n! you didn’t have to because i also have my own camera. just don’t know how to adjust it,” he frowned, looking down at the expensive camera hanging on his chest.

“i could take a look at it, if you like,” you offered. harry beamed at you and nodded rapidly. that day, you spent the afternoon taking photos of people living their daily lives. it was such a great day, walking downtown with cameras at hand. the day consisted of you and him talking about the most embarrassing stories you could think of when you were younger. he told you about the many times he fell onstage during his concerts, to which you laughed at, saying that you tripped on a wire once when you were photographing a gig for a local band. onlookers wouldn’t think that you were strangers at all but you didn’t mind.

that night, at the beverly hills mansion, you and the team huddled together to pick names for the small exchange gift. you left the house with a smile on your face a few hours after, really loving the group.

“alright, who picked y/n?” harry asked as soon as he walked back in from waiting outside until you left.

“why?” mitch asked. “well--” “he obviously likes her, dumbass,” adam said.

“you just met twice why would you like her immediately?” mitch asked again, clearly missing out on something. “she’s really a nice girl. besides, what’s wrong with finding her cute?” harry asked, clearly giddy about the day he spent with you. “she’s so cute especially when i told her earlier that she looked good in what she was wearing! then, she gave me these disposable cameras,” he added, showing off the cameras hanging on his wrist. “i really wanna get her something for christmas but i think it’s a little straightforward to just give her one, no?”

“what would you do for you to get her name?” sarah asked. “i’ll pay you a hundred dollars and treat you and a friend to a nice dinner,”

“i got her,” jeff said, giving the paper to harry and harry giving another piece with a different name on it. he gave jeff 300 dollars for the dinner and the monetary gift and said thank you. he smiled with his dimples showing and retired to bed.

“he’s whipped,” mitch mouthed to sarah. sarah only nodded, really finding it cute how harry found y/n cute.

-------

you’ve been photographing harry and his band for so many days now, rarely even having the time to clean your apartment, which was fine. it was always clean, only feeling like it wasn’t because harry was at your place, going over the photographs that he would be posting on his social media. you told him that you could come by the house in beverly hills but he told you to just stay at home so it would be safer. you didn’t protest but you did stress clean for a little bit.

“i really like this photo,” he pointed at your laptop. “i think mum would really like this, yeah?”

you nodded. it wasn’t your best shot but so far, it looked like it was harry’s favourite image of himself. you were done for the night and you were tired but you didn’t want harry to leave yet. you were enjoying his company and it seems as though he was feeling the same when he decided to open a new conversation.

“so, who did you pick for secret santa?” he asked as you opened your spotify christmas playlist and played it softly on the bluetooth speaker on the coffee table. “i can’t tell you that! it would ruin the whole thing,” you replied. you were perched on your couch, facing harry.

“why not? it’s not like you got me, unless you did…” he teased.

“maybe, maybe not,” you shrugged. harry pouted but started to hum to the christmas music anyway before sipping on his hot cocoa. “you know what i would love from you?”

“what?” he asked. he’s been tearing his hair for a perfect gift for you but nothing really came up. he wanted to get you a film camera but that would be too basic. “a christmas record from you! your voice is so good,” you gushed. “it would sound so great and i’m sure you’d sing christmas classics like the one paul mccartney sang,” you mused, clearly unaware of what was going through harry’s head. he finally found a perfect gift for you. “if you ever release a christmas album, hit me up immediately! i’d stream and buy the hell out of it. i’ll even wear your christmas merch,”

--------

“everyone shut up! i’m gonna record something in my room, don’t bother me,” harry breathed as soon as he arrived in the rented home. everyone’s eyebrows shot forward. they were huddled in the living room, playing uno. “okay, i’m sorry just don’t make too much noise!” he apologised. he ran to his assigned room after that, locking his door and taking out his guitar. clueless as to where he would start off, he decided to text helene.

harry styles: Helene! 

Helene.: Harry !

harry styles: Do you know y/n’s favourite Christmas songs?

Helene: Not really but she’d be into classics dont you think?? Why ??

harry styles: I kinda got her for secret Santa and I don’t know what to give.

harry styles: Do you really think she’d be into the classics? Helene: Yes now stop talking to me i have to attend the dinner rehearsals why do you have to rehearse for dinner?

that night, harry set up his personal microphone, a device that he could just slip into his laptop’s usb, and sang at least three songs that he would sing with gemma whenever he was home for the holidays.

-------

it was after harry’s successful live show at the forum. you were busy capturing every moment of the tour with your camera. gina, your best friend was in the crowd too. it was your early christmas gift for her, along with a personalised video from harry like you promised. she squealed and hug you for being the ‘best best friend ever’. you laughed and received her hugs with joy. you were supposed to have a small staff-only after show party but decided not to come. you were tired and all you wanted was sleep. you told jeff about it and he nodded, hugging you and asking you if it was okay if you left alone. you nodded and wished him a good party. that night, you went home to your apartment, looking over the new photos that your friend e-mailed you so you could show them to harry the next time you see him. you took note of the pictures you liked alot.

“where’s y/n?” harry asked as soon as he greeted everyone. “oh, she left! said she felt tired and just wanted to sleep,” jeff shouted over the loud music and the loud people. the party became bigger as staff invited friends and family to come over. harry didn’t mind, he liked crowds. harry nodded at jeff, a little disappointed because he was hoping to get to you. he would be leaving for london next week for another live show and he was sure that you wouldn’t be able to come. the live show at the forum was supposed to be the big ending for the celebration of harry’s album in america. if he wouldn’t be able to see you now, he wouldn’t see you at all, probably.

--------

it was nearing 1 am when your doorbell rang. being a light sleeper, you woke up from your slumber in the couch. you must’ve fallen to sleep while finalising images you wanted to show harry next day. you fixed the coffee table a little bit then begrudgingly walking to the door, only to reveal the man who’s been keeping you busy.

“hi, y/n. may i come in?” harry asked. you nodded and opened the door wider, the cold from your air conditioning unit greeting harry.

“what are you doing here?” you asked as you and your guest settled on your couch. “well, i was at the party and i noticed you were gone so, i decided to come by. i’m sorry if it was so sudden it’s just that, i picked you for secret santa and i wanted to give you my gift before i leave for london next week,” he rambled. he the handed you a pretty christmas box.

“thank you, harry. what about your party?” you asked. “it’s fine, they’re fine. i just wanted to be here with you more.” he smiled. “go on, open it!”

you opened the box that revealed a red sweater.

“you said you wanted christmas merch, right? that you would wear it?” he asked. you nodded and unfolded the sweater to reveal a ‘harry’ sweatshirt in red. it was the one that gina wanted for so long but in the colour pink. harry’s name was embroidered on the soft red sweater in white, and his motto ‘treat people with kindness’ was embroidered on one of the sleeves in red.

“i picked out the colours and i hope you like it! it’s not from the same manufacturer but i figured you would like it,” he said. you looked deeper into the box to find a cd and a flashdrive. the cd cover was you and harry, a selfie he took using his phone when you were out having a photowalk. “you said you wanted a christmas record and here it is,” he said. you were smiling widely and thanking harry for the thoughtful gifts he got you. “i, uh, you have to listen to the songs and text me if you liked them, alright? text me as soon as you finish it.i have to go back to the party and entertain but i’d really love to hear your thoughts on the record, okay?” he asked, standing up from his seat and kissing your forehead. you nodded and watched him go outside your door, too overwhelmed with his thoughtful gift. you inserted the flashdrive in your laptop’s usb and clicked on track 1.

track 1 was harry’s rendition for paul mccartney’s wonderful christmas time--your favourite christmas song. you casually mentioned it to him once but didn’t think that he would remember. there were 8 tracks in the flashdrive, harry’s voice and guitar playing filling your apartment. you were wearing the sweater he gave you, feeling giddy at the gifts he gave you. you just finished track 7 and waited for track 8 to play when harry’s talking voice was heard from the speakers.

“hi, y/n,” he started. “well, i hope you like my gifts for you. the truth is, jeff was actually the one who picked you and i picked claire but i bribed him so i could give you this gift. truth be told, i like you. like, i’m crushing on you and if you feel the same way, i’m waiting in the parking lot. i just wanted to say this and was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date before i go back to london for the show and the holidays. wow this feels like a goddamn movie and i sort of like it. i hope you really love my gifts. i’m waiting outs--” you stopped the audio and immediately ran to the door, opening it. it revealed harry who was sitting beside the door, waiting anxiously. once he heard you go out, he stood up and smiled at you.

“silly boy! of course i’d go out on a date with you,” you said as you hugged him. he was chuckling, thanking the heavens for giving hime a wonderful christmas.

“what about when i’m in london? how would we talk then?” he asked. “we’ll make it work, yeah? see how it plays out,” you said. you felt him put his chin on the top of your head after kissing it.

it was the perfect ending to a perfect night and as the christmas lights surround you with your wreath hung on your door, you both wished for this christmas miracle to last.

-----

im soff

taglist:

@giitterysuits / @floral-suits @bree082 @dezzym17 @bouncebackbyers @lolapuffs@belleamoree @demolition-lovers-blog

[kinghoranshit]

Just Another Normal Story (HS) - PT 3

I shook my head, laughing a bit. Harry and I had the morning news on right now. They were talking about some monkey’s getting rabies and biting a man. Then that man in return began to attack humans. And those humans were biting others. Kind of sounds like zombies, but no way. They weren’t real. They’d mentioned it a couple weeks ago, and now they were bringing it back up. 

I finished putting the dishes away in our cubed kitchen; it was connected to the living room. The only other two rooms were the bathroom and our bedroom. I didn’t complain. It’s a nice apartment for living in downtown Cedar Rapids. We moved back here after Harry and his bandmates finished their first tour and we’d found out we were pregnant; it was so I could still be close to my parents. 

I plopped myself down on the couch with my laptop. I rested it on my bulging belly. I began to type away at the newest novel I’m working on. 

She began to kick a bit aggressively. 

I looked at my belly. “Would you stop?” 

She wasn’t taking no for an answer. Then I felt an intense pinching pain in my lower area. Shit. 

I set my laptop aside and got up. Taking deep breaths to calm my racing heart, I went to put on my Docs.

“Harry!” I called. “I think it’s time.” 

“What?” he asked, coming out into the main area of our apartment.

I pointed to my belly. “It’s time. She wants out.”

“Okay… Okay, let’s do this,” Harry replied, rushing into our room to grab the duffel we’d pack over a month ago. Then we were on our way to the hospital.

The streets were fairly open, which was a little weird. It was also strangely quiet for being close to a Quaker Oats factory. I continued my low, controlled breaths to focus on something; it was one I learned in our delivering a baby classes. Harry entwined my hand with his and gave it a squeeze. We both shared smiles. 

Harry slammed on the brakes cause a guy walked out in the middle of the road. My heart stopped seeing how discolored his skin was. He looked in our direction, the color in his eyes completely gone.

“What th-” There was a loud slam against my window and I screamed. Another, a woman, had her face pressed against the window as she scratched her hand on the glass. 

“T-The news was true. Zombies are real!” I yelled, my breathing went out of control, which made the contractions worse. I keeled over in pain. When I looked up, it seemed more had come to surround our car. I could hear their groans and moans. Now that I looked around more at the city, it did seem a bit desolate. 

This couldn’t be happening. A zombie apocalypse. I, in labor. Fuck. Shit fuck. 

“Harry,” I whined. 

Harry stomped on the acceleration and swiveled out of the mob. If we’d waited any second longer, we wouldn’t have been able to drive out of them. We would’ve been a meal.

I shook my head. Zombies couldn’t be real, yet there they were. Trying to eat us. Is it bad I was glad they didn’t have flesh falling off their faces? If they did, I wouldn’t be able to look at them. They still weren’t pretty, don’t get me wrong. 

I hissed in pain. The contractions were getting stronger and closer in time frames. Harry changed his direction from the hospital and he started driving onto the interstate. 

“Where are you going?” I asked, squeezing his hand to lessen the pain. It was basically useless though.

“Next closest city. See if we can get any information. Hopefully the hospital isn’t taken over.” 

I grabbed my phone and called my parents.My dad went straight to voicemail. His phone was probably dead. He was bad at keeping it charged. I tried my mom next. Took a couple rings before she answered. 

“Nichole? Are you okay?” my mom asked, seeming a bit breathless. Then she yelled, “Mark!” A loud bang from her side made me jump a bit.  

“Mom?” I asked, feeling my throat tighten and the tears blurred my vision. “Is this really happening?” 

“Yup,” she replied. “You and Harry okay?” 

“Uhm, Yeah… I’ve gone into labor though. W-we’re going to the next city. Hopeful it’s not down.” 

“No!” she exclaimed. “Come home. I’ll... I’ll help you deliver.” 

What? She was nuts. But what other options do we have? I’m sure the hospital was down.

I sighed heavily. “Okay.” I looked at Harry. “Turn around. We’re going to my parents.”

***

We spotted a few more on our way through Fairfax and some driving through Walford to my parents’ house. They lived in a small town where the houses were tight knit and everyone was friends.

There were two walking around on the front lawn when we pulled into the driveway. A moment later, one was lying on the ground, it’s brain matter everywhere; that part of the lawn probably wouldn’t survive. My dad walked out in his carhartt gear with a shotgun. The walking dead guy screeched at him and made a running start. 

I hunched over in pain, but glad I did. I didn’t want to see the way that was going to end. 

“C’mon, we’re clear,” Harry informed and got out of the car. I took deep breaths and waited for him to come help me out. I couldn’t stop myself from crying as I saw my dad rush over. 

“Dad, zombies can’t be real,” I whimpered.

He chuckled. Of course. “They are. You’re lucky I've been preparing for this. Come on.” 

Harry and my dad helped me inside. Once we were, my dad locked the front door. I wiped the tears away as I stopped. My dad had already nailed wood against all the windows. I assumed he did the same with the back porch sliding door. Holy shit. 

“Nichole, you need to lay down,” my mom instructed. It was then I felt my sweats were wet. Fuck. Just fuck me. 

What just happened. I never wanted to go through it again. Not in a zombie apocalypse. Or vampire apocalypse. Or on a fucking normal day. But hearing her first precious cry was worth it. All of it. I was glad there weren’t any other complications. 

“You did it,” Harry whispered, a smile crossing his face, and leaned down to give me a kiss on the forehead. 

I smiled, “Yeah. Never again.” 

“You have diapers and clothes?” My mom held our baby girl in an old towel swaddle. 

I looked over at Harry and he nodded. “In the duffel. But we only have a few.” 

My dad shook his head.“That’s okay. I’m going to be making a run to target for more food and then Gander for more shots.” 

My nerves began to kick in and I shook my head. “No, dad... I’m sure people already thought to go to Gander.” 

“You’re going to need them,” he replied. 

“I know that. Just… Sleep on it. Not tonight or tomorrow. We have enough for two days.” 

I hope I wasn’t kidding myself on that. Who knew how our daughter would be. She was half of Harry, who was so quiet and kind. She was new into this scary world, so I wouldn’t blame her if she threw a few tantrums here and there. 

We cleaned her up the best we could and changed her into a newborn onesie, then settled ourselves in my old bedroom. 

Next: 4

[Masterlist]

[farelian]

Humans are Insane “Insurgency” Part 1

Disclaimer: Blood and violence are in this post, proceed with caution.

So i want to take a turn around and do something serious with Michael, hope this is good and thank you for the number of people that liked and reblogged my previous story, thank you so much

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being a temporary diplomatic envoy is quite hard, especially when you’re not experienced in speeches and answering questions that are presented to you in which you know nothing about, or know the answer in that matter. After the Migration Meeting being overtaken by another human representative, Michael took the next few days thinking, planning, planning to get his health back on track.

it was shocking to find out that he's suffering from Type-2 Diabetes, not the worst but still taking a toll on his body. High-Blood sugar and Insulin resistance make his body weak, the doctors said it’s from his Liver that keeps cranking out sugar into his system. He doesn’t understand, he’s a fit guy. Maybe moving to the Zarqon homeworld changed his lifestyle a bit, he does sometimes binge-eating while watching a movie, and he rarely exercises now.

Maybe that was the reason, maybe that is the reason his health if going downhill. No matter, right now he's ordered to give a tour to a group of aliens around the city of Ursa Jaron on the agriculture colony at the edge of UTA space, the planet of Dawut. Known for its abundance of fertile land and it's many volcanoes that crank out natural resources that make the land fertile, it's one of the colonies that contributed a lot to the UTA food stockpile and distribution.

This makes the colony rich and more developed over the years, but when the War of Insults started it's one of the worlds that got hit in the first attacks. Garrisons at the time could not repel the Janid onslaught that came and forced to retreat after an evacuation of the civilians. Some people were left behind in the chaos, forced to live in ruins and scavenge for food while trying not to get detected by Janidean patrols.

Rebuilding efforts immediately started after the war, cities getting rebuild, farmlands and greenhouses are built, but it will take years until most of the scars are healed. He sighed, wearing his Tuxedo quite proudly with the UTA emblem on his left upper chest but still, he rather stay home at Zarqon, and with Yaku. He's grown quite attached to the little alien gal, he likes her patients and curiosity of everything. He wished he can answer all of her questions about humans, then again, he's not a genie.

Walking down the hallway inside the Murmur embassy within the city, he walked into the ballroom where all the alien delegates are waiting. He tightens his tie and straighten his suit, and begun his announcement "Gentleman, the UTA appreciates your arrival to our colony here today, as you already know you will be given the best accommodations this colony has" He glances at the single Janid delegate "Because after the war we're short on recreation and landmarks so please excuse our lack of beautiful architecture"

All the delegates nod in acceptance, understanding the situation humanity is going through. "With introductions sorted away, I Michael Stone will be your guide today" He hates being formal, and why does he have to do this and not a professional guide? Could it be that his title of "Being the first human to migrate" gave him a special place in the UTA?

He turned around and walked out of the room, a group of aliens following closely behind him passing the embassy guards and several Murumur guards that are here. He smiled and shook his head, he cannot believe this. Walking out of the assembly he quickly shows off the things in front of them, a big commercial mall. Unfortunately, a UTA Warbird swooped down from the skies dropping off it's the payload of Humanoid Machines that quickly enters the mall before Michael could explain to them. "Well, that wasn't on the schedule..." He pondered to himself, then went back to the delegates.

"This is the Yukatan Commercial Center! One of the largest shopping centers we currently have in the city. With over 20.000 shops and 7 stories tall, it has everything you need starting from kitchen appliances, electronics, food, and everything else" He turned back around and noticed the unusually high presence of police cruisers and police officers in the area, there's even a SWAT van down the street with its squad of heavily-armed and exosuit wearing men. He got a bad feeling about this.

His feeling was proven when he got a call from the Central Chief of Migration. "Michael gets out of there that area is not saf-" the transmission was cut when there's an explosion on the 4th floor of the mall, the alien shopping floor to be exact that sell alien goods and food. Michael turned back to the delegates as glass falls and shatters onto the street. "I need all of you to return to the embassy right away! NOW!" His command startled everyone, even the Janids who haven't seen a human yell that loudly.

Then on the speakers of the city a man can be heard, talking through it. "All civilians please clear sector 2 and 3. Police lockdown has been initiated over at the area please evacuate" That's when panic kicks in, all the bystanders starts running away, it only gets worse when there are loud gunshots can be heard from within the mall, adding screaming into the chaos. The shooting moved from the fourth floor to the third, to the second and then a police android gets kicked out the window and fell to the ground. The SWAT team that's here quickly set up barricades and cover on the main entrance, as the side entrances are locked down.

The alien delegates, instead of returning to the embassy, they observe from a safe distance. Who could've done this? Michael walked to one of the officers. "What's the situation here?"

"We got reports shots fired on the fourth floor from one of the androids, possible terrorist attack" The officer quickly explained as more police reinforcements arrived.

Michael took cover behind one of the back cruisers, away from the entrance with a police officer as he took out his own handgun. "Well fuck, everything we try to approach the aliens peacefully someone has to fuck that up huh?" He exchanged a couple words with the police officer.

"Haha! Always the case sir!" The man answered back with a cheery tone

Michael looked over the hood, feeling the intensity of the situation in the air. The SWAT team trained their weapons towards the entrance. "AST! EVACUATE THE AREA NO-" The SWAT officer yelled out but t was too late, a rocket got shot out from within the entrance straight into the crowd of policemen. Men flying and a police cruiser exploded.

The ground shook making Michael widened his eyes from shock and held the bumper of the cruiser, a police officer crashed onto the ground in front of him. He gets the injured man into cover behind the cruiser as he heard the shooting starts. "An AST!? How the fuck did they get that!?" The man that's tending to the injured one exclaimed.

"Hey, what's your name?" Michael asked the officer.

"J-Jacob sir!"

He nodded as he peeked out from again, a single massive Armored Suit Transport standing in the crowd of bodies scanning the area for prey. Not even a Warbird dared to enter its Killzone. It's M4 Mini Under-Hand Rocket Launcher can take out an attack helicopter in one hit. Then it's S.W.A.R.M.S missiles can lock-on to infantry and obliterate their ranks.

He then noticed on a corpse of a police officer is a S.M.A.W Launcher, it can incapacitate it. Ugh, he wished for an emp grenade right about now.

Michael looked back at Jacob. "Ok Jacob here's the plan, the AST has a manual ejection lever on the back, between the spine and hip armor okay? What I want you to do is go around it, while i cause a distraction with that smaw launcher alright? Time to be a hero" Michael said to the police officer patting his shoulder

"A-are you sure about this sir? I-i'm just a police officer"

"I don't care about ranks Jacob, men are men, now are you ready? We can't let that thing go on a rampage for 5 minutes until the military comes to deal with it"

Jacob took a few seconds to think, finishing treating the injured police officer and then nodded. "...I'm ready" Michael grins and pats his shoulder once more. Both of them takes their position.

"On my signal... now!" Michael got out from behind the cruiser sprinting for the next, the AST quickly took notice of Michael and starts raining hell down on him, firing it's Vulcan Minigun on its right hand at Michael. Close calls but Michael made it to the next cruiser, but the AST doesn't give up, it kept firing and firing at the cruiser but doesn't want to waste a rocket on one guy.

Meanwhile, Jacob is sneaking around on the side while the AST is distracted, hiding behind a cruiser then moved slowly towards the van as the sounds of repeated gunfire can be heard.

The Minigun finally overheats and Michael makes his next quick move, running out of his cover and slide towards the Smaw launcher picking it up in his hands, and then hid behind another cruiser. The AST, seeing it's in danger goes back to firing at Michael while closing the gap, walking towards Michael's position. "Come on Jacob... pull it..." Michael muttered.

Jacob slowly, sneaked up behind the AST, seeing the manual ejection lever between the armor of the suit. He reached into it and pulled as hard as he can, falling back on his ass. "Attempted Manual ejection procedure detected, failsafe activated," The suit said. Jacob looked on in horror at the giant AST, turning around, looking down at the puny little police officer with anger, lifting its right hand up ready to squish the poor man with its fist.

"JACOB COVER YOUR EARS" Heard from behind the AST as a series of launchers went out of the Smaw launchers first shooting up at the sky, then rained down on the AST explosion after explosion of the mini-missiles. After the missiles finished, the AST fell weakly onto its knees, then forwards onto the ground. "Fucking hell..." Michael cursed throwing the empty smaw launcher to the side and rushed over to see if Jacob is okay. That attempt was denied when a bullet hit the ground in front of him coming from the entrance of the mall.

Three men wearing spray-painted exosuits came out from the darkness, pointing their weapons at Michael. He held his hands up. "Who the fuck are you guys...?"

The one in front answered that question with a punch to the face, blood splattering onto the ground as Michael fell to his hands and knees coughing up blood. A gunshot shortly followed as a hand fell and came into his view, it was Jacob's. "Humanity's Front" the man then finally answered his question correctly in a deep, heavily modified voice.

Then one of the men's head exploded then followed by a bang, the other followed the same fate, then the last one as well. UTA snipers have come and saved the day as jeeps and APCs arrived on the scene. He looked up, at Jacob's dead body, eyes wide open with fear and shock, blood flowing down from the side of his head to his face.

Michael couldn't stop them.

[winterromanov]

we will grow taller together - bucky x reader

PART ONE - THE GENTLE HUM OF EXISTENTIAL DREAD

parts: zero

Pairing: bucky barnes x reader

Extract: “No. No, what I’m saying is, he needs—they both need—someone. He needs someone to help look after Clover while they both get their lives back on track.” Steve pauses, looking you straight in the eyes. “Someone like you.”

Genre: romance, nanny x single father!AU

Taglist: @blindedbyyourgrace17 @verygraphicink @igotkatiepowers @welcome-to-my-studylife (taglist still open, reply/message to be tagged)

PART ONE

“Next please!”

The queue shuffles along until your face-to-face with yet another tired-looking college student, purple eye-bags visible underneath a pair of circular rimmed glasses. It’s fall dead week and if most of your customers are anything to go by, it certainly lives up to its name. Every single one of the tables spread out on the main floor of Vormir Coffee has been crammed with sleep-deprived teenagers and textbooks, meaning you and your colleagues have been swept off your feet with orders for caffeine products refills. You expect the rush to continue over the next few days as revision turns into actual mid-terms—as is tradition, you’ll be offering free chocolate muffins throughout the week by the door, because nothing heals the pain of a shitty Econ paper like chocolate muffins do.

Yet…as you look in the near-dead, distant eyes of your latest customer, you feel a pang of jealousy deep within your chest. While you’re pouring coffee into refillable mugs and forcing your best service smile (which is a difficult feat nine hours in to a ten hour shift) they’re reading and learning and absorbing.

You miss learning. God, you miss learning, even the terrible impossible chaos of one exam after another and deadlines piling up around you like sandbags. But being, y’know, poor, means there’s not much you can do about your grad school dreams, even if you do spend your free hours searching the internet for outlandish scholarships and funding schemes.

So. For now, it’s coffee. Potentially forever if you want to continue to eat and have electricity, which is just about all you can afford right now. And the occasional lipstick if you’re feeling particularly extravagant.

“What can I get you?” you ask the student, whose scruffy brown hair doesn’t look like it’s been washed in a few days. Oh well. Desperate times require desperate measures. At least you’re not his roommate. He grunts for an inevitable espresso and fishes round his wallet for some spare dollars while you get to work. Moments later you offer him the finished product and he drops the exact change into your hand, skulking away to a table without another word. Well, you’ll forgive a lack of manners during one of the most surreal weeks in the academic year.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

On the announcement of your name your glance flicks back to the remainders of the gradually quietening queue, and your face subconsciously breaks out into a grin when you finally see a customer that doesn’t look like a vacant zombie.

Steve Rogers grins back at you. He’s wearing a beanie over his blonde hair and a warm winter jacket—the temperature was freezing when you practically slid from the subway to work this morning and as the day slowly eclipses into evening, the temperature is falling back down with it. His cheeks are flushed from coming into the warm.

“Hey Steve!” you greet him cheerfully, because seeing an old friend is the perfect way to end a tiring shift. “How are you? How’s Natasha?”

Steve dips his head bashfully, like he always does when he’s asked about himself or his girlfriend. “We’re both great, thanks. What about you? It’s been a while.”

You gesture around you as an answer. Taking all the shifts you possibly can means you probably spend more time in Vormir than your own apartment. From what you can recall Steve has been back in the States for a few weeks after his most recent tour of Afghanistan; him or Natasha keep dropping you invites here and there, but you’ve been working or too dog-tired to accept them. It kind of makes you sad, as you watch your social circle shrink, but being an adult is the worst and staying alive is reasonably important to you.

“That bad, huh?” Steve asks sympathetically. You nod back, dramatically rolling your eyes.

“That bad. Always that bad, Rogers. I’m a slave to consumerism, but don’t let my boss know that.”

Steve laughs, leaning onto the counter. “I actually… (Y/N), when do you finish up here? Do you want get a drink? I’ve just got something I wanted to run by you.”

You narrow your eyes with curiosity. The clock that ticks mercilessly above the door reads six forty-two, so you’ve got less than twenty minutes left of your shift, and the look on Steve’s face is too intriguing to turn down just so you can rush home, open a bottle of cheap white wine and watch Stranger Things on Netflix. Even if you are up to the season three finale.

“I clock off at seven,” you reveal, but you nudge your head in the direction of the remaining customers who are starting to get annoyed at the hold-up. “Grab a seat. I actually have to do my job for a while longer and I’d rather not get fired because you’re distracting me.”

Steve holds his hands up in mock surrender and slowly backs away from the counter, allowing your next customer to slide into his position. You watch as he drops into a two-seater by the window, scrolling through his iPhone, a muted grin tugging at his lips.

-

Steve’s favourite bar is a short walk across town, the kind that is warm and dark and a little bit retro. You’ve been to Endgame before with him and Natasha, and you’d all split quarters so you could play ABBA songs on the Jukebox by the entrance. Right now it’s playing Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac, so it seems today’s patrons have taste.

You grab one of the more private booths through the back while he gets the drinks. You’ve not seen your phone since your lunch break so you take the spare seconds to scroll through your social media—less than an hour ago Natasha’s posted a photo to Instagram, both her and Steve making stupid faces in the living room of the apartment they share. It’s captioned who do I have to kill to make sure you’re not deployed again?

Your heart melts a little. Steve and Nat. Nat and Steve. Two people who have been together for longer than you’ve known them, and they just work so fucking well, two halves of the same coin and all that. Your thumb hovers over the like button for a moment before clicking it, because you’ve never had someone in your life like that. You’ve not found the other half of your coin.

Most days you’re too exhausted to really think about it. But sometimes…something will click in the back of your brain and it dawns on you like an avalanche that this might be your life forever. You’ll be serving coffee forever. You’ll be on your own forever.

Fortunately Steve slides into the seat opposite before you can go into a full-on existential crisis, but you sure as hell know that’s what will inevitably cross your mind when you’re stuck staring at the cracked ceiling of your apartment in bed tonight.

Steve’s smile is concerned as he pushes a desperado in your direction. “You look troubled.”

“When am I not?” you say with a shrug, taking a sip of your drink. The alcohol burns in your empty stomach. You haven’t eaten since lunch—maybe liquor isn’t the best idea, after all. “Anyway. As much as I love seeing you, Rogers, this isn’t just a friendly drop-by is it?”

Steve is drinking some generic American beer. He wipes his lip before speaking. “Yeah. Like I said. There was something I thought I’d run by you.”

“Ominous.” You wiggle your eyebrows. “Are you going to spend the next half an hour or so pushing a pyramid scheme you swear isn’t a pyramid scheme? Because I really didn’t think that was your style.”

“No. Not a pyramid scheme.” He shakes his head in mild disbelief, probably wondering why he’s still friends with you. “It’s more…do you remember my friend? James?” When you look back blankly, he elaborates. “Bucky. Guy I used to go to school with. Dark hair. Lost his arm in Afghan about a decade ago…”

“Oh! Oh. Bucky Barnes. James Barnes.” You feel kind of bad that the arm was what made it click, but you do remember a quiet, well-mannered guy standing in the background of a few of Steve and/or Nat’s social events over the last few years. You’ve never been formally introduced but Steve talks about him every so often, just casual mentions in conversation, nothing detailed. They’d grown up together, trained together, but their career paths parted after Bucky’s car nicked an IED on the outskirts of Kabul. Truly horrifying. “Yeah. Sure. I remember him. What about him?”

Steve grimaces. “Well, it’s a bit…complex, to explain, so I’ll just go straight into it. About seven years ago he met a girl, she got pregnant, they had a daughter.”

“Oh! I never knew he had any kids.”

“Yeah. Clover. She’s six now. Way too smart for her age, really mischievous—doing crazy things like sending vegetables in the post to the grandparents she doesn’t like and reading fucking Frankenstein. Big Mary Shelley fan, to Buck’s sheer delight. Awesome kid.”

You smirk, not sure what any of this has to do with you, but little Clover sounds exactly how you were at her age. “She does sound pretty awesome.”

“But Connie, her mom…she passed away just over a year ago in a really awful car wreck.” Steve’s face falls into a look of heartbreak, empathetic as always. “Her and Bucky haven’t been together for years but they shared custody of Clove, Connie having her a lot of the time.”

You feel something shift in your chest, like shards of glass are pressing in between your ribs. Real loss stories have always been pretty hard for you to digest, regardless of who they belong to. You think about death a lot in, like, an abstract and unreachable kind of way. You think it gives you size, an awareness of your place in the world, the universe. But that’s your own death. You’re kind of comfortable with that one day you will cease to exist. It’s just the people that you care about you fear for. And everybody cares about somebody.

“God, that’s awful, Steve,” you murmur, eyes softening. “Is he looking after her on his own now?”

Steve nods, biting his lip. “Yeah. And he’s not doing too great, (Y/N). It’s not my place to go into details about what goes on in his head, but nobody gets over the trauma he went through and goes back to before. And the loss of Connie and suddenly becoming Clover’s only parent, and her trauma, as well as trying to hold down a full-time job…like Jesus, I’m surprised he can even get up in the morning. Sometimes he doesn’t.”

You ache for Steve’s oldest friend as is only natural, but you’re still at a loss as to where this involves you. You rest your chin in your hands, looking at Steve intently. “It sounds like he’s going through a tough time. I’m really sorry. But is this…any of my business? Because you can always confide in me about things that are on your mind, but this sounds really personal.”

“No. No, what I’m saying is, he needs—they both need—someone. He needs someone to help look after Clover while they both get their lives back on track.” Steve pauses, looking you straight in the eyes. “Someone like you.”

The laugh that erupts from your chest is involuntary, but Steve’s expression is still completely serious. Is he really suggesting what you think he’s suggesting? “What? You’re asking me to be a nanny?”

“I suppose you could call it that.” When you stare at him with disbelief, he rolls his shoulders. “(Y/N). Why is this such an eccentric idea? You hate your job. Buck has a spare room at his place which, no offense, is way nicer than your apartment. You’re great with kids, you’re funny, you’re smart…and you’ve already said you think Clover sounds like an awesome kid. You two would get on great.”

“That’s all irrelevant considering a, I’m not a nanny and have no experience looking after a child in that close and intense an environment. And b, Steve, this is an eccentric idea. Other than the scraps you’ve given me I know absolutely nothing about James, and what the hell does he know about me?” When Steve’s face looks a little guilty, you roll your eyes. “Oh my god. Steve. James hasn’t even said he wants a nanny has he? He doesn’t even know you’re asking me this.”

“This would be so good for him,” Steve half-pleads, puppy dog eyes engaged, “He’s fussy about strangers and Clover, but he knows you through me. He’ll trust my judgement.”

“Steve. You can’t just go making decisions like that! This is insane.”

(Steve has a habit of thinking he knows what’s best, for himself or other people, and rampaging down that path in the pursuit of a happy ending. Sometimes people don’t need his version of a happy ending.)

Steve eventually relents, relaxing back in his seat. He’s forgotten you’re not usually one for blindly going along with one of his Heroic Schemes, preferring a more idealistic approach. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll discuss it with him first. But I think you should come along when I do that.”

“Steve.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, but I think you should meet them both properly. You could be a good friend to him either way. It wouldn’t hurt, (Y/N). Maybe it would be good for you too.”

God, you’re way too done for this shit, your legs aching from a day of being constantly on your feet and dead inside from getting up at six this morning. Steve is not the kind of guy to give up on something he’s clearly passionate about in his quest for the greater good, and this point it is just easier to agree to his requests. Even though his idea is way too bizarre for anyone normal to actually accept.

Being a live-in nanny for a guy you barely know and his daughter, both of whom have just lost someone extremely significant in their lives? And him being totally unaware that his best friend is proposing a job he has no authority to give? Yeah, fuck that.

Steve is right about one thing, though. You do really, really hate your horrible job.

When you reluctantly nod, and Steve grins, you jab a finger in his direction. “Like you said. It means nothing. This is weird as hell, but you’re super annoying when you don’t get your own way, and I’m totally allowing you to receive all the backlash when it backfires.”

“I think I can deal with that.” He gestures at your empty bottle. “Want another drink?”

The alcohol has made your body a little lighter, but your stomach growls loudly in argument. Instead, you clamp your hands on the table. “No, but you can buy me a pizza. It’s the least you can do for me, weirdo.”

Steve raises an eyebrow, used to your directness. “Pizza it is, then.”

Okay, so maybe Steve Rogers is the most annoying person in the world, and maybe his aggressive selflessness in the hope of doing right for his friends will eventually be his downfall, but he’s usually a pretty nice guy. You sometimes forget that you’re lucky to have him.

[shhawnboi]

Dad’s Approval | Connor Brashier

Summary: Your dad hates Connor so much that even he starts questioning himself and it’s your job to remind him why he can’t be more wrong.

Word Account: 2K

A/N: This is my first imagine ever, so sorry if it’s to cringey and disappointing. Also, English it’s not my first language, excuse my poor vocabulary and grammar and please tell me major mistakes to correct them.  

                                                          *  *  *  *

Y/D/N Y/L/N, your father, is Connor’s second worst nightmare, the first one being losing you. Mister Y/L/N is the boss of the biggest lawyer’s firm on LA, he is feared and respected everywhere because he has enough power to bring everyone he wants down, and that includes Connor, luckily this hasn’t happened to him, yet.

Your dad adores you. You are his pride and joy he just wants the best for you and he thinks that Connor, a simple boy with a camera, will never be enough, so he takes every chance he gets to remind you both, that. You don’t care about you dad’s nagging words but Connor does because he can’t help but agreeing with him. You deserve better than him and he is a selfish jerk for keeping you all to himself, but he can’t bear the idea of letting you go.

Last Monday your dad called to invite you two for dinner at his favorite restaurant ‘Saint Japher’, a place designed for the upper class with menus that just a few of privileged people can afford, and in that group of people Connor isn’t included. Your father does every other time for two main reasons: to see if you are still together and to drag Connor’s confidence down (task that he has always accomplished successfully). Connor has always tried to win your dad’s favor but to Y/D/N’s eyes, Connor was just a kid who plays with a camera and think that’s a job.

When Connor wakes up, the first thing he sees is your beautiful figure cuddled against his right side. Your body is covered by just his shirt and nothing more, and it makes him feel all cozy inside because it means that all of you is his. You are completely knocked out, it’s a normal occurrence whenever you see your father, he never fails on getting on your nerves and tiring you to death, especially when he starts throwing knives at Connor like there’s no tomorrow. Connor gives you a light kiss on your forehead and decides to go out for a run, he needs it to clear his mind a little. When he steps out of bed you start moving on your sleep but you don’t get up. He tries not to make too much noise while he’s getting dressed and when he is finally out of the house, he lets a long exhale escape from his lips. Con knows that he shouldn’t give a fuck about what your dad thinks about him but he does because he agrees with your father, you deserve better.  

By the time Connor starts running following the peace of some catchy pop song, every snarky word your dad said yesterday comes to his mind, crashing him with the force of wave colliding against the rocks.

“Do you remember Thomas Lebrant, darling?” asked you father while he was looking at the menu.

“Yes dad, I remember Tom.” of course you did remember Tom, you dated him for a year... before you left him for Connor.

“I saw him him the other day, he’s doing great at medical school, he will have a bright future, he’s a very hard-working man, he asked me about you. I really think he was your perfect match.”  

Connor remembered Thomas too, your first boyfriend, he was the guy every father wanted for his daughter: perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect behavior... he was just perfect. You started dating him when you were seventeen and spent a whole year with him, but when you met Connor you started to feel things you had never felt before and you had to break up.  

Con will never forget the day he saw you for the first time. It was a sunny day in LA, he was at the beach with Sam doing a photoshoot with an Instagram model called Lydia Hanni, she was laying on the hot sand and he was supposed to be taking photos of her body, but he couldn’t focus his camera on her, he was too busy filming the beautiful girl playing frisbee with her friends. When you noticed a pair of eyes on you, you turned around and saw Connor with his camera. He waved his hand to say ‘hi’ and you smiled, at that moment Connor swears he felt his whole world stop. That was the beginning of your love story and your dad’s worst headache ever.

“Good for him, dad. I guess you told him that I’m doing pretty good with Uni and my lovely boyfriend.” you reached for Connor’s hand and you pressed a little kiss on it. Your father let out a sigh and Connor smiled at you. You had the power to make everything better.

“I told him you had a little adventure with some guy.”

‘A two years adventure’ thought Connor.

At first he thought that her dad needed time to warm up to him, but time passed and he didn’t change his mindset. He hoped that when he started working for Shawn your dad would be happy, but that didn’t occur, in fact, he got pissed because he was going with his friends to have fun in Europe leaving you alone. Nothing he does it’s good for your dad and that’s eating him alive. He tries to ignore it but it gets harder every single day.  

“Have you found a real job yet?”

“My friend is looking for a coffee guy for his office, I could call him if you are interested?”

“How much has your boss payed you for your hobby? I mean, it’s not a very hard task.”

“Did you have fun on tour? Doing nothing playing with your friends?”

He loves his job and he’s proud of it but he is starting to believe that it’s not enough for you. Your father is right, you are worth of a rich, wealthy man that can give you all you want in matter of minutes. You always say that he’s the best that has ever happened to you, but now he thinks you say that because he’s keeping you away from greater things that you’ll never discover if you’re with him.

When he arrives home after an hour of running, he goes straight to the shower, maybe that’s what he needs to clear his mind for good. Once the hot water hits his muscles, he lets a satisfied moan, a hot shower never fails to relax him.

You wake up the moment you hear the water running from the bathroom, you guess that’s Connor having a morning shower but once you notice his sport clothes scattered across the bedroom floor, you know he’s probably gone out to clear his mind a little. You can’t blame him though, the shitshow your dad pulled yesterday at the restaurant was capable to put everyone on the edge of their sanity. You have talked nearly a billion times with your dad about his behavior with your boyfriend but he always ignores it. You’re sick of it because Connor doesn’t deserve an ounce of the shit your father aims at him, no one really deserves it to be honest. Your boyfriend is the best that has ever happened to you and you’re so proud and in love with him that whenever your dad opens his big mouth, your heart breaks a little.

You decide to get out of bed and get into the shower with him to show him some love. You get rid of your shirt when you enter the bathroom. Connor hasn’t realized yet that you’re there and very much awake so you got him by surprise when you stepped into the shower.

Everything in you is alluring and lovely to Connor’s eyes and your body is no exception. He loved and praised every inch of it, it’s his temple, the place where all his problems disappear. He was completely addicted to it, therefore when you decide to enter the shower, his first instinct is to pull your naked body closer to his.

“Hi, love.” this pet-name always sends shivers down your spine and makes you smile like an idiot “How are you?” you were both under the hot stream of water, nose and foreheads touching and eyes closed.

“That’s what I should be asking, handsome.” you whisper as you kiss him delicately, like you’re afraid of breaking him.  

“I’ve been better.” he confesses with a forced smile. He doesn’t want you to worry about him but you know too well that grimace on his face and the dull look on his beautiful eyes.

“I’m so sorry about my dad, I can’t believe what an asshole he can be.” you’re really ashamed by your father, he never respects your decisions or opinions, each time he tries to impose his no matter what.  

“You don’t have to excuse him, I mean, he’s not wrong.” he looks away because he knows that if he sees your breathtaking eyes, he’ll break down in matter of seconds.

“What do you mean he’s not wrong, Con?” you hold his face between your hands and you make him look at you.

“He’s right about me.” he says heartbroken.

“No, he’s not, baby.” you try to reason with him but he doesn’t take it and watching him so sad is destroying you.

“C’mon Y/N, he’s right. You are this beautiful, kind, smart and amazing woman and I’m a kid with a camera. All your life you’ve been surrounded by the most incredible things on Earth, your dad could give you all you wanted. I’ll never be able to do that, I can’t take you to Bali every month, I can’t pay your studies... You know who could? Thomas, he was perfect for you and I took you away, if you were with him, I bet you’d be happier becau...” you smack his chest before he can finish his ridiculous speech, now you’re pissed and frustrated, he can’t be saying all of that, can he?

“I swear to god, Connor David Brashier, that if you say something like all the bullshit you have just said, I’ll kick you out of the house until your two remaining brain cells realize how utterly stupid you are.”

“Bab...” he tries to interrupt you but you shut him off before he can argue back.

“Don’t ‘Babe’ me, idiot. Connor, I love you, more than anything, you’re my world. Listen, maybe my dad has always given me whatever the hell I wanted, do you know the price? He was never there for me, I was left alone 24/7, on my birthdays, recitals, competitions, even in my own graduation, he showered me with gifts but not love. And Tom, he was a nice guy, he treated me right and all of that, always so perfect, it was boring as fuck: we never stayed three days in a row at home doing nothing besides fucking and eating, he never surprised me with 3 AM dates at the beach or with little getaways at Target... Tom was just there but he didn’t make me feel anything, not the way you do. I want you. You’re the best part of my life and I can’t imagine a future without you. I don’t care about monthly travels to Bali, I care about months just by your side. I love you Connor, you’re perfect.”

Once you finish your monologue, you notice he’s crying. You clean his tears with your soft fingers and he kisses you passionately against the shower wall.

“I love you, Y/N” he embraces you strongly, afraid that if he loosens his grip, you’ll disappear.  

“I love you Connor, let me show you.” you kneel down and that’s the only thing Connor needs to know that he’s in for a very long morning and he’s so ready for it.

                                                       * * * * 

I hope you all have enjoyed it. Please like, comment or repost if you liked it. Right now, I’m working on a long Shawn Mendes fic, tell me if you’d like to read it.

[blankdblank]

Hobbit Soulmate Pt 19

It’s been a while but here is the next part. Kind of simple but it gets the story out of limbo zone and into the meatier part of the flow i wanted to get to anyways. :D

All –

@himoverflowers​, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator​, @sweeticedtea​, @ggbbhehe4455​, @thegreyberet​, @patanghill17​, @jesgisborne​, @curvestrology​, @alishlieb​, @jogregor​, @armitageadoration​, @fizzyxcustard​, @here2have-fun​, @lilith15000​, @marvels-ghost​, @catthefearless​, @imjusthereforthereads​, @c-s-stars​

X all Rich. A - @abiwim​, @deepestfirefun​, @thestorybookmistress​

@evyiione​​, @deepestfirefun, @rhaenaatargaryen

…

Back to the routines you melded easily feeling a bit colder with your father now gone too back to fulfill the final leg of his contracted season before stopping in the end of August to fly out to New Zealand to be with you. A brief week was what you had to deal with yourself alone and groggily on your feet you had finished packing up. The bulk of all you needed in hand for your flight out to LA. It was a shock but with the press and such noteworthy people knowing your name and singing your praises you got landed for a magazine shoot that would land you out there to fit nicely with a spot on a show far from memorable no doubt.

All the same you had to lower your phone when you had told Lee, who was beside himself with worry on his film as the dates neared. The show bits would be the first to film and in the few days you would be in town just like his blankie he wanted to cling to you to get through it. The flight went easily and just as soon as you’d landed it was off to work no matter if you were near to needing a wall to hold you up.

Dolled up in the $600 dress they let you keep, purple with a bell like layered skirt that dipped low in the front you didn’t care of people were staring. Tall heels didn’t help but hell the $300 pair were yours for free and with bag and violin case in hand you finally checked into your hotel and promptly headed down again to hop onto a cab to meet up with Lee.

A tall blonde in platform boots reaching up to the thigh in a leather two piece with freckled shoulders you would know anywhere had the already gawking fellow stage actors drop their jaws more as you said, “Bitch..”

Turning with wide eyes and a minor pout Lee I hard sharply watching your crouch to get a better look at his boots and say, “Damn it all, if you didn’t have such big feet I would be stealing these when filming was through. Legs for days and they still make you taller. Selfish.”

Chuckling lowly he offered a hand to steady you as you rose again and turned to say, “Everybody, this is Jaqi.”

“The infamous girlfriend,” rippled around the room and in the sea of awed people who had caught your show and others who had seen bootleg copies of it filmed and shuffled around you were quickly honed in on by the director who added a minor non speaking role to your resume. Lee was timid on the dancing aspect but with you on site his confidence burst out and that cemented the tiny unasked favor to keep the young star calm through this harrowing role to debut in. A spot in the crowd at the shows and a flicker of a spot at a barbecue later you mingled and blended in causally.

All between your three hour stint at another set for filming and Lee’s stolen bouts of cuddling before you were off to England you were glad you made it to the proper plane on the right day to make it just on time.

.

School was amazing, just like a glove you melted back into it and soaked in all you could of what you had aches for at having to graduate from Julliard so soon. Yet the London Ballet was different. An hour train, both ways there and back with long rehearsals in a sea of women and men built far different than you hard didn’t come close. It was stunning how amateur they imagined you and how much harder they pressed you to become more like the others when you had surpassed a great deal in skill even on your first day.

All the same the title role got gifted to their perfect star and you graciously accepted your minor role allowing you to nap more once you weren’t needed any longer in the month long show. To then it was paying your dues until you’d fit the mold but to the people expecting so much more from you after hearing such heartwarming compliments on you those buying tickets let it be known they didn’t care they demanded more than a five minute blip for the ticket fees. And of course the press heaped on when they caught wind only adding to your lulling urge to keep up in this place.

Not even mentioning the friends of your grandparents who had far from subtly hinted on higher challenging role set for someone with your pedigree and training leading to your latest role.

.

“Woof.” You stated taking another bite of your revenge triple order of chips after the first show you had been put into one of the three main female lead roles as a compromise to the noise about your place in the company. “Pedigree, they actually said pedigree, I’m a dog now.”

Dean’s cousin smirked stating in a pinch of your cheek while Richard hid his smirk behind his pint raised for a sip, “And what a cute doggy you are.”

In the roll of your eyes and Dean said, “You didn’t even share the best part.”

“Ooh,” rippled around the table making Chris smirk as he sat beside his brother with a refill on his drink. “Just grow five inches, and I could be their lead all the time, that’s what he,” in a cocky shake of your head and careless swipe of your hand you mimicked the snooty accent of the casting director, “If you could just grow five inches that would be swell and we would not be in this mess.” After a disgusted grunt you said, “I can’t grow five inches, no clue how I would, magic beans or buttons I guess that do that.”

One of the guys smirked, “I can grow five inches,”

And his brother patted his back, “And your bird is so proud of you for that.”

After another bite finishing off the chip you mumbled over your packed cheek behind your raised hand, “Besides, I got hired because I’m this size. I can’t grow or I’d lose the job.”

Dean, “The dream job.”

Another teen smirked saying, “Yes the mystery job none of us can know of yet.”

In a faked whine his brother said, “I hope it comes out soon. The wait is killing me.”

You rolled your eyes and Dean said, “Lads, we shall have to be patient and simply watch our dear Bunny puff up until it explodes out of her.”

Richard chuckled asking, “Is it really that terrible dancing there?”

Lowly you sighed, “It’s not. I love it, it’s just the people in charge. And honestly, ballet is so different, from anything else. Theater, singing, playing the violin, even musical theater. It just,” you sighed again, “I just really hope this film goes well, because, I mean, ballet was never my end all be all career. It fucking hurts. All the time, and you have to look a certain way and act a certain way and then there’s the director expecting favor for their ‘gifted roles’ I love ballet, but I don’t think I can do another season here.”

Dean, “Well if you word it right you know your grandparents would hire you.”

“I know. And I do like it at the Bolshoi Company. They offered for after I graduate Oxford for a season. Even when they bring the team on tour of the States.”

Chris, “That sounds better, they would be family.”

“And it’s Bolshoi, not trying to be like Bolshoi. I can be as fucking short as I damn well please and as long as my ass gets up higher than the girls in line under me who gives a flying fuck.”

The men chuckled and raised their glasses making you giggle and lift yours to clink them together, Dean led them in saying, “Here, here.”

Richard, “Have you called your dad about it?”

You nodded after your sip, “He’s happy for me, says to do what makes me happy. Told Gramps when he called the other day, he thinks a season off would do me good. Gran is livid beyond words that I would be treated like this. And now they have this show to honor their careers in January they want me to be a part of. Whole company is insisting, apparently someone had been sending them the press on my career from New  York, so, yay.”

Chris, “Not mad at you I hope,”

You shook your head after another sip, “No. they said the same about her when she came to the States as a teen visiting her mom, then she went back home and blew their critics away. Just pent up, stuff.. Plus she said something about a show coming up she wanted me to join them for.”

Dean, “Well we love you no matter what you choose to do.”

Your grin split wider in the nudge of an elbow from one of them making the men chuckle again as you ate another bite of your fish refusing to starve yourself to date the anorexia mongering men in charge of casting.

.

Richard smirked in tossing his shirt away after his ungrateful plop onto the bed making you smirk in his attempt at alluringly sweeping his hand over the bare spot beside him. In a giggle you climbed in beside him and melted into his offered kissing tug to lay you out against him. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

In a low hum he said, “I’m glad you’re finding what you’re comfortable with. I just wish I could have been around more to help you through it.”

“Ugh,” you scoffed making him chuckle deeply, “You have your play to prep for. Of which I am not missing opening night.”

“Don’t-,”

“Hey, I am not missing it for the world.”

“We only have two weeks left, I’d rather focus on-,”

After stealing a kiss you said, “I’d rather focus on you in those tights of yours,” making him smirk, “And those puffy shorts and that cinched shirt with all those buttons-,”

“So many buttons,” be murmured against your lips then claimed another kiss while he folded around you.

.

Inspiration. That was why you were here. A one night only show with most of the audience being the cast of an upcoming indie film ‘Billy Elliot’ formerly a play called Dancer now set to be captured for the big screen. And all centered around a boy and his growing love for Ballet and the struggles he faces fro it in a mining town in the 80’s.

The ending called for a rendition scene capturing him grown and performing in Swan Lake with a great amount of hard earned prestige and admiration from his fellow dancers. It would only be a snippet of the full show, and yet to prep the young cast and their assigned on screen relatives they would sit through the classic show of which the Bolshoi Ballet would be performing, all around you as Odette/Odile, the role that Sir Ian had put you on the map for. Press would be there and it would be recorded for the film to remind the cast of the performance and to be sold separately as well.

All the same between shows with the London company you had fit in two rehearsals with all of your company and the managing team watching you flow in effortlessly with their chosen cast all thrilled to see you again. On the big night you could hear the chatter outside of the few well known actors settled to the film waited for by the press to snap pictures as you moved past them with the dancers to get warmed up. Truly you could do the role in your sleep, and honestly you wished you had gotten more sleep but grumbling to yourself while another dancer stepped on your back helping to pop your hip while in full splits you pressed your forehead to your crossed hands hoping you wouldn’t have to dance another night with the throbbing bother.

A painful pop later and up you got hugging the dancer gratefully before moving on with her to help the male lead pop his back after his lingering stiffness from the long flight he was finally recovering from fully. Painted and feathered up with slippers laced you tapped your toes one at a time behind you testing the tips of the new slippers on their give while you waited for the cue to enter onto the stage for the opening curtain.

Hours of stolen pictures and the dazzling scene of ‘adult Billy’ leaping onto the stage in his feathered pant body painted glory later the curtains closed again at the final scene. A pause came then the applause erupted from even the most initially bored children who had sat through the show. The mixer after found you showered and with a smile wearing your expensive dress and heels. All round you speaking with others the cast mingled until a wide grin split across your face as Julie Waters walked up to you after you had finished speaking to a set of dancers who were leaving to get some sleep before their next flight.

“Hello,”

“Hello,” you replied.

“I was wondering if I might as you some questions?”

Anxiously you answered with a broken giggle, “Absolutely,” after a momentary clearing of your throat you said, “What’s on your mind?”

Your held grin and gentle nods egged her on in asking her full list broadening her view of the art form and how the studies are handled and how a teacher would actually handle courses. Though the more you shared with the after lesson regimens and show effects on you it took away the glamour of things easing her own version of a teacher who was nowhere as strict as those monitoring in prestigious ballet companies fitting more to the town it was set in.

The boys were the last to come up, with the girls all having been so eager but with Dean and your friends coming up to talk to you Jamie Bell, the young Billy, especially loved hearing how you and Dean had struggled into dance lessons at Oxford and you also in Julliard while working steady jobs. Emails were traded for questions to be answered as they would come up later. And somehow you had managed to wiggle your way under Richard’s arm in an unaccountable shower and change into one of his shirts while he slept in his briefs not even caring to pull anything else on after his day of rehearsals and your show after he insisted on attending.

.

More and more Richard seemed to be worried about how the time apart would go after the last time when Tiffany had found him in a night of weakness while September neared. But after sharing his own call with his agent where he had heard of casting for a certain Elven Prince he was laughed out of and nudged away from trying for he came home to share the news only to see you bite your lip and explode himself in excitement for you at finding out what role you had gotten. Even in not being able to join you on the filming of a lifetime he was thrilled you could experience it with your father and hoped to sneak out for a visit himself.

It was secured, once you had told your grandparents about the job to explain why you couldn’t fly out to Russia for a season at the company they leapt at the chance to help you feel more secure in your dream job even they were excited for you to have earned. A large patch of land with seven cottages sprawled in a ring across it, the smaller ones split into separate apartment suites all joined in a stone courtyard with a fire pit and outdoor cooking area meant for plenty of guests was where you would call home.

It all looked so picturesque and near to dream like you were almost certain the pictures were a lie and you would walk into a raccoon’s nest without a roof and only half the walls and a giant wasps nest in the chimney. Honestly that would help to ease you into the role, if something outside the job was wrong so you couldn’t mess it up. If anything else went wrong then you had an amazing chance of this working out perfectly for you. Wine and dining was your final goodbye on the weekend after your final classes you bit your lip and entered the airport gate Chris had dropped you at with a tight hug Richard couldn’t give while warming up for the second night of his play.

24 hours including boarding time you were to be stuck on this plane and once again you poured through your tolkien collection well worn with taped spines and a shoddy glue job on a few of the pages coming apart at the seams with notes scattered throughout widening your smile. Richard’s play had gone wonderfully and you couldn’t help but keep smiling all through it even if he wasn’t the lead. You could almost see his future self leading an ensemble of his own when companies would have more faith in his name to draw in ticket sales and you’d be lying if you didn’t want to miss all the days in between his shoot to stardom. It hurt not having him here but all the more it was perfect to have your dad here, just a matter of weeks now and he would be joining you.

.

It was annoying how early you had shown up, that was your impression, but a check in call after having to adjust the date of training camp on the original date you had arrived not wanting to risk a fee to shift the date. Two full weeks you were early and outside the gate Peter and Fran chuckled helping you load your bag into the open trunk and guide you into the backseat beside their two children.

Chuckling to himself Peter stated, “For all the eagerness in the world I for one am glad you arrived early. Now we can give you the full tour. The workshops, our model scales and also through camp we can show you some of the locations we’ve scoped out for certain cities and traveling shots you would love. But first, I think we should take you for some food. There’s a great place by the studio lot, and we can help you stock up on some grub after, the house you mentioned it is furnished?”

“Gran said it would be. If not it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept on the floor.”

Fran, “You aren’t sleeping on any floor. If it isn’t we are taking you home with us until it can be furnished.”

“I couldn’t-,”

Peter, “Can and will. Your first time in New Zealand you need some family to show you round and keep an eye out through camp, I know your dad will surely appreciate us treating you like the family you are.”

That made you smile wider and while Fran asked you on if you had brushed up on Tolkien your books were brought up and even out for the lunch in the small eatery they had brought you to. A small hole in the wall with ample space on the booth table for you to show them plenty of your notes, all of which were consulted again when you were shown through the workshops stirring more and more elated squeaks from you.

And it truly was perfect, two story log and stone cabin style home with an amazing view stunning Peter as well who said, “The other cottages are yours as well?”

“Ya, they said it was the only one with enough space. Though what I need twenty five acres for I have no clue. It’s not far, guess I could find a bike shop for some wheels.”

Peter, “Well if you’re up for renting I know a few of the younger guys had said they were finding trouble locating rentals.”

“Sure, long as they don’t eat the pipes and such,” making him chuckle as you let out a weak giggle, “We could have a sort of Tolkien campground out here.”

Peter, “Exactly, nice and private and we could send out vans for you all to make it easier. I’ll make some calls. I know Ian and Sean would love the peace and views especially.”

Fran gave you a smile as you led the way into the largest cottage to bring in the food to fill the fridge and cabinets in the cozily furnished home in which Peter set down your bag and his wife said, “Now, tomorrow at seven sharp we’ll take you in for all the molds and final measurements and we can get you started on the weapons and movement training.”

Peter, “No worries our other size doubles are here early as well.”

And that was it, you were in new Zealand. Cocoa in hand you welcomed your first sunset and tried to sleep on your chosen bed, the second largest, as the room with two King beds pushed together clearly was your dad’s. You had your own bathroom and somehow the texts and emails off to friends and family had calmed you down enough to sleep.

.

Molds were first, with hair braided back your whole face was coated in blue goop you tried to remain as un giggly as possible until it was peeled off. Face, neck, ears, hands and even your feet were molded with every inch measured easing the varied sketches of the fifty possible characters you could play in varied locations to be joined by a great number of the crew when casting extras had run thin for certain locations. Sweats and a tank top were your go to with new converse nearly worn through by your second week of physical training where everyone could see just how toned you had made certain to build yourself up to ensuring you could survive the filming.

Straight from the airport exhausted actors in vans were unloaded for their tours while you worked with a few of the stunt doubles on a complicated fight scene in varied actor’s places. Eyes landed on you and familiar low chuckles had your final sword swing planting faked into the chest of a goblin before your head turned from the chuckling stunt actor and you smirked in your stroll over to Ian already walking out to greet you. A tight hug later and one by one each actor beginning with the Hobbits were introduced to you noting your spreading grin, with Elijah being he widest.

Peter, “And for Frodo, Elijah Wood. I take it you’re a fan?”

In a giggle at his weak chuckle looking you over you replied, “Oh I have a friend that will die hearing I get to work with you.” Subtle squeaks came out in introducing Sean, David and Hugo. John gave you a nod of his head, clearly uninformed of your role just yet and at the wide eyed brunette beside him you said, “Hey Orlando,”

Peter, “You know each other?”

“Oh ya, year or so now,” you looked to Orlando again, “Let me guess, Legolas?”

After clearing his throat he nodded, “Yes,”

Curiously between you Stuart Townsend looked you over in his own introduction as Aragorn before he asked, “So, who are you playing?”

Peter laughed saying, “Haven’t named all her roles yet, for now, it’s a surprise.” Making you giggle again and head back to rehearsals.

Changed into workout clothes the men started on their own movement courses while you continued with Peter and the stunt men finalizing the fight scenes to train the men on later the guys kept stealing glimpses of. Lunch however freed you up for a chance to possibly meet with John again only to turn around and grin seeing Orlando with another quick grin. “Hi,”

Giggling you replied, “Hi.”

“Listen, I, um, meant to call…”

With a nod you teased, “You mean after we made out in the theater for hours and you promised you would?” at his nip at his lip you nudged his arm, “Hey, water under the bridge. You’ll be seeing a lot me, near daily I bet, I would love to be friends. Certainly would help things.”

“Yes it would.” Anxiously he wet his lips, “So who are you playing?”

Widening your grin you said, “You’re just going to have to wait and see there pointy eared princeling.” Winking at him in your path around him making his eyes narrow a moment in watching you trot over to John beside Peter, the pair of whom were already talking about you. That was the beginning of a timid friendship, to your charms he certainly had fallen with Ian and Peter smoothing the way and by dinner at your home the guys all excitedly inspected and accepted a suite at you had all gathered around the fire pit Peter helped to teach you how to use it and the outdoor kitchen properly. That first dinner began it all and friendships started to brew up with the puzzling female in their midst making all but the amused John wonder just what role in the testosterone packed film could be taking.

All the same the men in archery, swordsmanship and movement came between your cherished horseback lessons enabling you to bond with the steeds you would be working with through the films. The more you got into training camp it became obvious something wasn’t fitting, as talented as he was the actor for Aragorn had to be older. A few minor traveling scenes had been filmed with no dialog at all and the 87 year old future King had to be recast. Visiting Peter on your day off you were privy to the table of headshots and resumes, a single ‘ooh’ from you and with a smirk Peter and Fran felt their own personal preference confirmed and the calls were made.

Within two days the new hire was on the ground and curiously looking you over beside Peter and Fran when you went to pick him up from the airport. An excited ‘hi’ later and he was wrangled up as you had been and invited to the dinner that night at your campground for the cast he loved at once. Ample space for himself and his son when he could be brought out for a visit while being close to the main cast. Still he was curious why you were in your own house alone until Fran had mentioned your dad was coming to film as well in a couple weeks.

Instantly in your aiding him through catching up on the history and any physical training he would need freshening up on a solid bond was formed and by the third day he had fully taken you on as a baby sister assigning himself to look after you until your dad got there. But nothing was funnier than hearing how you and Orlando had known one another explaining why he was still so awkward around you.

Though the final week of training camp when you should have been getting word from your dad on his arrival your stomach couldn’t seem to unclench and an odd day of silence from you came after headlines of an oil rig hit by a terrible storm. Again you had to take a moment off in the hall to calm yourself down after another hour had passed without word. Silently Peter kept hold of your phone you didn’t want to leave alone allowing you to pull yourself together, glad you weren’t alone but still hating that you had refused to take the day off at the news. His eyes rose when Viggo slipped away from a stunt rehearsal to ask, “Something’s wrong with Jaqi?”

Inhaling sharply the Director answered lowly, “That oil rig on the news,” Viggo nodded with curiously furrowed brows, “Her dad was on it.” He lifted her phone, “Hopefully he’ll send word soon they got out safe. Swears she just needs a moment. I tried to get her to stay home.”

Viggo, “She’s certain it’s his rig?” Peter nodded and nipping at his lip the actor went back to his scene seeing you inhaling sharply in a trot back up onto the cushioned platform the guys were on, only now having a hint that you would be doubling for John at your ax you had been rehearsing with for the past few days. Pink eyed you nodded to the stunt men readying to go again lulling the men back to regretful silence wondering what was going on until two hours later at lunch your phone rang and Peter called you over taking you into a side room.

Against the wall you slid down in tears talking to your uncle who had spent the night having your dad flown out to Texas to be seen at a hospital there. Still in scans to see what was wrong with his burned and swollen arm he swore he would call again before he would head back to their house to pack the rest of his things from the house there added to his bags he had loaded onto the escape ships when the rig caught fire to fly out to you. Information through Fran was traded to confirm the flight number and times before you were given the phone to sniffle your way through hearing your dad fresh back from a scan saying he had a minor arm sprain he had to be given a brace for and mild burns on his arm. Fully able and willing to just get to you after his days of hell in the middle of the ocean. Tightly in Peter’s arms you were held until you calmed fully and wiped your cheeks to join the others for lunch where the reason for your tears had bubbled out leaving all the men eager to spread the love and eagerness to welcome your dad as well.

Pt 20

[spaceshipkat]

i found the Syfy livestream of sj/m’s NYCC panel, so obv i need to do a recap. here we go! Jordan Zak/arin is the moderator and he begins by saying that sj/m is prolific, asks if that’s correct, and she says sure. (also, most of the questions and answers will be paraphrased rather than direct quotes; when they’re direct quotes, they’ll be in quotation marks, obv. my comments will be in parentheses bc i can’t not give commentary)

moderator: so you have a new book out

sj/m: my new book CCity: House of Earth and Blood is coming out in March, “i’m literally in the middle of a deadline right now where i came here and got off the train basically, and i’m here now enjoying my time with you and then as soon as this is done i’m running back to my train to go home so i can work on this book and get it done so it’s out in March,” it’s my first Adult series but if you’ve read my ac0tar books those are pretty Adult anyway so you kinda know what to expect *laughter*

the face of a woman who knows exactly what fuckery she’s gotten away with:

(yes that is a screenshot from the exact moment she’s talking about how ac0tar is already really Adult)

sj/m: i call it modern fantasy, where it’s set in a completely made up world but set in modern times. if you’ve read my t0g or ac0tar books, imagine those books but jump ahead 2000 years in the future where they have cell phones and cars and guns and every magical, paranormal, mythical creature you can imagine

(as if the t0g and ac0tar worlds aren’t already modern. flushing toilets, yo)

sj/m: the world is vaguely modeled after the Roman Empire. like imagine if the Roman Empire never collapsed and made it to modern times and was ruled by magical creatures that all want to kill each other

(FUCKING FIGHT ME OH MY GOD THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE)

moderator: t0g you came up with as a teenager, CCity is a concept you came up with more recently. i heard that you cried when the idea first came to you

sj/m: okay yeah any writers out there in the crowd? yeah, my people. so as a writer i get struck with ideas at the weirdest times, my ideas usually are inspired by music and i was on a place on one of my book tours and i was listening to a piece of music from the Gravity soundtrack 

(we’ve heard this story so many times that i’m not bothering to transcribe all of it bc i’m sure we all have it memorized by now)

sj/m: as a writer i was like who are these characters, what is this world, if i’m having this reaction there must be something here that i’m being drawn to, so i just began listening to that piece of music over and over again and as i listened to it i got a clearer picture of who was there in that moment. and that scene is actually the big climactic scene in CCity, which i won’t spoil, but as soon as i saw it i had to backpedal and figure out how i get to that scene. and the world of CCity kinda draws on my love of urban fantasy, paranormal romance, which even though i write high fantasy UF and PR are what i read in my spare time, so this is kinda in a similar vein to that and i’ve always wanted to write a story like those: you know, JR Ward, Nalini Singh, or Karen Marie Moning, Laurel K Hamilton--who i just had a panel with--and it’s cool that this random scene sobbing in a plane is now gonna be a book

moderator: so who are the characters you came up with, bc they are the central protagonists of this book, right?

sj/m: i don’t want to spoil that scene bc that one moment in the book is the big moment, but in that moment i saw [Bruce] who is my main character, and she’s a half-human, half-fae bastard daughter of a fae king and she works in an antiquities gallery which, side note, i grew up here in NYC and [Bruce’s] job was inspired by the summer i spent in college as an intern at an antiquities gallery where i was the world’s worst employee

(istg if she doesn’t handle the antiquities in the book properly i am going to lose my fucking shit)

sj/m: the stuff was so expensive that we didn’t get a lot of foot traffic, and my job was to just sit in the showroom--i knew everything about all the pieces--and either answer phone calls or wait for someone to come in, but no one really did, so i would read every morning the NYT front to back and then i would take out my laptop and i would write my stories. i was terrible at the job but i loved working there bc i love art and old stuff, so [Bruce] works at an antiquities gallery that’s actually a lot more magical and cool 

moderator: do people shop at that one?

sj/m: *laughing* people do shop but she doesn’t get much foot traffic either, but then it’s also been really fun bc [Bruce] lives in this huge city in this world and growing up in New York i feel like i could draw on a lot of my experiences 

moderator: is there a better subway system, at least?

sj/m: there actually isn’t a subway system. i didn’t even want to deal with the subway, i have too many feelings about [NYC’s] subway system. they have buses but no subway

moderator: how does being an adult with a life and career impact building the world of CCity?

sj/m: when i world build i kinda just--i know a lot of writers will do tons and tons of research and meticulously plan it, but i kinda build the world around my characters, where i’ll have [Bruce] working in the antiquities gallery and she’ll step out onto the street, and then i’ll have to take a moment and pause and go okay what’s on this street, what kind of shops are there, where do the shops get their produce from? it kinda all springs from the characters and with each round i do while working on the book i ask myself more and more questions about the world, but often when i’m writing that first draft and i’m just in this flurry of inspiration i don’t want to stop to figure this crap out. 

(ah yes, bc world-building is, in a word, crap)

sj/m: i just want to get everything down on paper so i’ll just leave like an X with an asterisk next to it for me to fill in later, and then when i get to later rounds i’ll actually sit down and think of those things. it also depends on the book i’m writing; some books will come fully-formed with the worlds there. other ones i really have to think and deconstruct and then even do research into our history and draw stuff. with CCity, i’ve really been reading up on Roman history, which i find really cool to take little facts and terminology and mix it into my world. 

(seriously @longsightmyth hold my flower imma lose my shit) 

sj/m:  it’s definitely time-consuming but i love the world-building; i think i go overboard where my editor now has been like we don’t need to know about where the salt on their table comes from so i’ve been trimming back on those details, but i like to know that stuff

(sj/m? go overboard?)

(how is it even possible for her to say this shit with a straight face?) 

moderator: we were talking backstage about your routine, you kinda get everything out on the page at once and then you go from there, right?

sj/m: i’m well-aware that my first drafts are garbage; my first drafts i basically just vomit the story onto the page: i’m not joking, it is a lot of bodily fluids go into that first draft. i get so involved in my story sometimes that i am literally sobbing at my computer, my keyboard drenched in salty tears, it is messy. it’s sad and weird. but in that first draft, i just, i gotta let the story flow through me and i’m well-aware that my first drafts are kinda just a bunch of ideas that i throw onto the page and then i need that editorial process where i’m working with my amazing editor back and forth figuring out who are these characters, what is the story, what are the strands that are here that we can pull and braid into a cohesive plot. 

(she really can talk a good game, can’t she? if she put as much effort as she claims she does into editing her books, they’d actually be readable and not the fucking nightmare we get)

sj/m: so with each round i figure more and more of that out, so now i’m nearing the end of that editorial process and i am so happy that i’m finally seeing the light. i need that time to figure out--you know, the months and months that we spend in editorial, i need that time to figure out what this story is and i’ll be struck by these bolts of lightning randomly where i’m like oh i’ve got this scene in here but what if i took it to this next level, and so my stories kind of evolve as i’m working on them.

(she repeats herself a lot, doesn’t she? i mean the same old, same old answers, yes, but also in clearly scrambling to give an answer that sounds good and makes her look good)

sj/m: but yeah my first drafts are a hot mess. i would never publish them straight up because they just suck

(then why are they on the shelves?) 

moderator: well clearly it’s working out for you, so why don’t you get back home, finish this book up, and we’ll read it in March

sj/m: thanks so much you guys!

[sockablock]

Widomauk Week 2k19 | Day 2: Urban Fantasy

That afternoon, there came a knock at the door.

It flew open before Caleb could even rise from his chair.

“Coming through, coming through!” hollered Nott the Brave as she strode across the welcome mat like she owned the place. Which, to be fair, was basically true. The faded sofa by the window was her favorite place to sleep, and at this point she even had her own set of keys. 

“You are here today early,” Caleb chuckled, standing and giving his closest friend a smile. Then it faded slightly as more people marched into view.

Two of them he recognized. Two he did not.

“Caleb!” Jester beamed, sprinting across the floor and practically leaping into his arms. “Caleb, how are you? Long time no see!”

“Ah, Jester, what a surprise. You are—oh, my ribs—yes, yes, hello—”     

Beau stepped around a stack of books. This apartment was always cluttered.

“What’s up, Widogast? Still a nerd?”

“Still needlessly cruel, Beauregard?” Then he raised an eyebrow, and glanced at the other two.

“Who are the newcomers?” he asked through the pain. Then he added, “Well, come on in, do not be shy.”

A woman taller than his doorframe ducked inside. A tornado of glitter and jewelry blew in after her.

“Ah, the mysterious Mr. Widogast!” the whirlwind shouted. Caleb had to pray that his neighbors were already awake. “It’s a pleasure, dear, an absolute pleasure!” Then the twister paused, and there was a flicker of hesitation. 

“Well. It, er...yes, well. A pleasure indeed.”

Caleb matched the stranger’s measured expression. Now that he had finally stopped moving, he could see that this force of nature was just a tiefling. Lavender skin and technicolor jacket, dwarfed by the enormous figure standing next to him.

“And you are?” Caleb turned to the woman. He completely missed the way the tiefling suddenly deflated. “I do not think that we have met.”

“That is because we have not.” Her accent was soft, though also a bit rough. Caleb had never heard anything quite like it. “I am Yasha. I am a new client.”

“That’s right!” Jester finally set Caleb down. He took the opportunity to un-ruffle his pajamas. “We’re helping her and her friend with a case.”

“With my case, actually, hello.” The tiefling waved his hands around. “Mollymauk Tealeaf is the name, dear. Since you so rudely forgot to ask.”

“Ah. Apologies,” Caleb absently nodded. Then he turned around and gestured to the kitchen. “Would you any of you like some tea or coffee? Do you have a preference?”

“Tea,” said Beau.

"Same here,” sighed Nott. “I already had four cups today.”

“Here, don’t worry, Caleb, I can make it,” Jester grinned. “That way, you guys can go over the case.” She leaned in towards Caleb and gave him a huge wink. “You’re definitely gonna like it,” she said. “It’s all about magic. Right up your alley.”

Caleb’s eyebrow rose again. “Really? Is that so?” he asked.

She giggled and nudged Nott in the shoulder. “Tell him,” she said. “He’s gonna lose his mind.”

Then she danced off to the kitchenette, leaving the rest of the group to be seated.

“Ja, ja, alright then,” Caleb said, pulling his chair up to face the sofa. “In that case, let’s hear what’s going on. It has been a while since last time,” he added, giving Nott a small smile. “I was wondering if you had replaced me, spatz.”

Her grin was jagged, and could’ve drawn blood. This was a goblin’s cheerful face.

“This is the best one yet,” she promised, flopping down onto the armrest. The others followed her lead and sat down.

“Go ahead, Molly, Yasha, when you’re ready.”

The newcomers briefly exchanged glances. Yasha gave Molly an encouraging nod.

“Well, alright, I suppose it’s like this.” The tiefling leaned forward and planted his elbows on his knees. “Some people are trying to fucking kill me, and I hired the detectives to figure out why.”

“So we can find them and kill them,” Yasha added.

“Well, I haven’t fully committed there,” Molly leaned back and crossed his legs. “Their motive is what I’d really like to know. At least, for now. I’m not afraid to get my hands...dirty.”

He made eye contact with Caleb and enunciated the word. Caleb plucked his notebook from the table.

“Okay,” he said flatly, and flipped to the first page. “Do you have any leads, so far?”

“None,” said Nott, when Molly failed to answer. “Nothing really good, anyway. I’m guessing it has to do with this guy—”

“Not a guy, dear.”

“—sorry, with Molly’s past. The people after him are definitely magic-users, which is why I came to you,” Nott finished.

Caleb nodded slowly. “Ja, okay, that is all very good to know.” He turned to Molly. “Did you used to know any wizards? Sorcerers? Any who were angry?”

“Yeah, well, that’s the kicker,” Beau muttered. She had taken the other end of the couch and was sitting on the back with her feet on the cushion. “We’ve kind of hit a dead end, there.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow. “And that is because...?”

All eyes turned to Molly. He gave a sigh and crossed his arms.

“Gods, I really hate telling this story. Especially when it’s the first time I meet someone,”

“Your life is in danger,” Yasha said sternly. “You will tell the story as much as required.”

He rolled his eyes, but it was more fond than anything. “Very well,” he relented, and nodded at Caleb. “I’m an amnesiac,” he said. “Woke up two years ago without a care in the world. Without a single memory to my name. Actually, I didn’t even have one of those. ‘Mollymauk’ is just what they call me at work.”

Caleb wrote this down. “Work?” he prompted.

“I do stuff at a bar. Nothing untoward, just backstage support.” He waggled his eyebrows, as if that would make it better. “Sometimes I post flyers, and sometimes I juggle swords.”

In the privacy of his notebook, Caleb wrote: unemployed.

“I see,” he said, laying down his pen. “And do you suspect your memory loss is magical? Have you spoken to any other arcanists about this?”

“Ha! No, fuck that,” Molly said. “I never gave a shit about my past. Not until it tried to burn me alive, that is.”

Caleb fell silent for just a beat. He schooled his expression. 

“It tried to burn you?”

Molly noticed nothing. Nott definitely did, but elected not to say anything. For now.

“Metaphorically,” the tiefling explained. “It actually threw these bolts of, like, energy at me, but I managed to run into an alley and up the fire escape and through a window. I lost the attackers, after that, but not without getting a bit singed, first.”

“Do you remember anything about these people? Anything memorable?”

“Other than the blasts of magic?” Molly shrugged. “I dunno, maybe? Yeah, I think...at one point, I think they called me something, a...an insurgent? Oh, and they seemed to think my name was Luke, or Luce, or something. It was a bit hard to hear over the explosions, and all.”

“I see.” Caleb turned to Nott. “Have you already looked into that?”

“We’re working on it,” she confirmed. “My best people are knee-deep in the records.”

“Not currently,” Beau said, “but we will be, when we get back.”

At that moment, Jester returned, bearing mugs. After setting all of them down, she perched atop a stack of books, teetering slightly, but not really caring. 

“Did we talk about the tattoos, yet?” she asked. “Isn’t this exciting, you guys?”

“Tattoos?” Caleb reached for a mug. “What tattoos?”

“I was getting there,” said Nott. “The main reason we came is because we wanted to you to take a look at Molly’s tattoos. It’s the only thing we haven’t fully investigated, yet. We think they might be magic, and we think it might be the key to all this. It was Jester’s idea, actually.”

“Aw, it was nothing,” she beamed and waved a hand. “I just suggested that we let Caleb check it out.”

“I’m personally delighted that you did,” Molly chuckled. “After all, I would never turn down a chance to let a handsome man examine my body. What do you say to that, Mister Caleb?”

There was a beat of silence. 

And then, Caleb’s whole face went red. It was amazing, the way his cheeks suddenly matched his hair.

“I-I...wie bitte?”

“I don’t speak dwarvish,” Molly said cheerfully, elated to finally get a reaction from this man. “But yes, I’m offering a full tour. All for the sake of the case, of course.”

Caleb’s mind was lodged against the word ‘handsome.’ It had been years since someone had called him tha—

Beau coughed. Then she coughed again. Then she gave one final hack and produced a glare that declared: this is awful. 

Yes, Caleb agreed in his head. This had suddenly become very awful. He tried to stand up and knocked over his chair.

“I...ah, er...right. Oh, right. Yes. Tattoo.”

He approached Mollymauk like a man walking to his death. The tiefling’s eyes glittered like rubies.

“Where...” Caleb muttered, dreading the answer, “...where is this marking...”

“Well, since you asked—”

Thankfully, before he could be teased any further, Beau one again spoke up.

“It’s on his left palm,” she said matter-of-factly. “Looks like an eye. It’s fucking creepy.”

Molly shot her a glare, which she returned. Caleb thanked every god he could think of, then gingerly took the tielfling by the hand.

He turned it over.

The electricity of the moment instantly vanished. Caleb’s mind abruptly shifted gears and without hesitation, he sank down on his knees, poured his gaze and his fingers across the lines. This symbol...this eye...he’d seen it before...

And in that second, above him, Molly privately unraveled. Oh, yes, it was always just fun and games, until they took you by the hand, until your palms touched, your fingers brushed; also, this angle was simply unfair. Caleb’s intense, thoughtful blue eyes, unfair—

Molly liked a certain amount of attention. Now that he’d finally gotten it, well.

Unfair.

“Have any of you ever heard of ‘bloodhunters’?” Caleb muttered, tracing the shape of the eye once again. “I believe...ja, I believe I have seen almost this exact pattern before, in a book that briefly touched upon the subject. This is...it was part of a ritual, I think, to unlock a certain kind of magic.”

“Mmhm?” Molly said, which was about all he could manage. 

Beau’s grin had reached astronomical sizes. She leaned her chin into her palm. “Good magic, or bad?” she asked conversationally.

“Many say that there is no such thing as either.” Caleb absently turned the hand again. “It depends on the user, really.”

“Does the tattoo give any hints about his background?” Nott had produced her own notebook and primed her pen. “Any clues about the kind of people that’re after him?”

“Er...unfortunately, I am afraid so.”

He let go, and Molly immediately sank. Behind him, his tail did an unhappy swish, though not because of what Caleb had said.

“Who are they?” Jester asked, leaning in. “Are they bad guys?”

“Are they dangerous?” Yasha narrowed her eyes. “Should we expect more trouble?”

“Well...” Caleb sighed, “I would certainly need to check my books again. I do not want to cause undue concern—”

“A bit late for that,” Molly mumbled. He had finally regained control of his arms, and crossed them pointedly against his chest. “Spit it out, Mister Caleb. What’s coming for me?”

Caleb stood and returned to his chair.

“Danger,” he murmured. “Indescribable danger. Brought on by the kind of people unfraid of dabbling in that which they do not understand. The kind of people who break reality and are willing to take power from anywhere they can.” 

He sat back down. He picked up his mug.

“I said earlier that magic is what you make of it, Mister Mollymauk, and I stand by that statement,” he murmured. “But if your tattoo is anything to go off of, then that means the people coming after you are not people to be trifled with. They are...the magic that they practice walks a very fine line along the border of what we would call madness and abomination. You are very lucky to have escaped them, Mollymauk. Though, I am certain, they will come for you again.”

As Caleb finished speaking, silence filled the room. Everyone quietly watched him drink some tea.

And then, very slowly, their eyes turned to Molly. He was still staring at his hand, though now his dreamy expression was gone.

He turned his palm over. He stared at the center. A dark, inky pupil, matched his shaky gaze.

“Well,” he said eventually. “...well.”

A pause—

“Fuck.”

— — — — — —

(✨Ko-fi link in my bio, if you’re feeling generous!✨)

[mst3kproject]

Miami Connection

 From the title you have probably already guessed that this is an 80’s drug movie, and you are mostly right, but Miami Connection is so much more. The director was Woo-Sang ‘Richard’ Park, a South Korean film-maker who wanted to break into the Western market despite not speaking any English.  Those of us who know anything about bad movies are already going oh no, because that’s how Troll 2 happened.  Park’s American buddy who was gonna help him do it was Young-Kun Kim, a taekwondo-instructor-slash-motivational-speaker who decided to write, produce, and star in the movie himself because hey, he’d seen movies and it didn’t look that hard.  Oh no, that’s what Hal Warren thought when he set out to make Manos!  And since these guys couldn’t afford actual actors or stuntmen, they cast a bunch of Kim’s taekwondo students, who thought the movie would be great publicity for their band!  Oh no!

The movie opens with a drug deal in a junkyard being interrupted by biker ninjas, who kill everybody, steal the cocaine, and run. Just a Tuesday night in 80’s Miami, really.  Having thus introduced the villains, we now meet the heroes, a fantastically talentless 80’s rock band called Dragon Sound.  Their newest member is Jane, the new girlfriend of lead guitarist John.  Jane’s overprotective brother Jeff does not approve of John, and he hangs out with the coke-stealing ninja bikers from the opening, so he could easily make good on his threats… what he doesn’t know is that the members of Dragon Sound are all training together in taekwondo, and they’re more than ready to take on him, the entire dojo, and a rival band!

Miami Connection is the Starcrash of martial arts movies.  It is completely, irredeemably terrible and yet it never stops being entertaining. The ‘plot’ is mainly a series of ass-kickings, strung together with dialogue scenes that discuss the consequences of the previous fight and set up the motivations for the next one.  I am in no position to judge anybody’s skill at taekwondo, since I can’t tell Karate from Kung-Fu (of course, neither could the people who made the Karate Kid remake), but very nearly everything else in the film is absolutely awful and funny as hell.  I could list hilarious moments for several pages.

The dialogue is stunningly banal, especially when it’s expository.  Both Jane and keyboardist Jim narrate their own tragic backstories and both are bad but in very different ways: Jane doesn’t sound like she particularly cares about the deaths of her parents or her brother’s gang involvement, while Jim weeps like a baby while he whimpers about his mother telling him to find her lost husband.  Later when Jeff is killed in a brawl, Jane doesn’t sound too cut-up about that, either. She’s certainly not nearly as upset as Ninja Biker Dojo Master Yoshida, who gets a flashback that makes it look like Jeff might have been his boyfriend.  My favourite line in the whole movie is when another member of the band, Jack, complains about Jeff and “his darn gang, selling their stupid cocaine!” like a six-year-old who wants his turn on the X Box.

Because nobody can emote, the ‘acting’ in the movie mainly consists of a lot of yelling, and their favourite thing to yell is “son of a bitch!”  They don’t use it as an exclamation the way Reb Brown did in Space Mutiny, it just seems to be the only insult the writers could think of. It gets funnier every time you hear it.

Costumes seem to consist of whatever everybody wore to set that day, with the exception of the black ninja pajamas (ridiculous-looking as always) and the t-shirts Dragon Sound wear when they perform.  The latter feature the name of the band in ‘Vote for Pedro’ font, and nothing else.  I own one of these.  You can buy them at teepublic.

The plot is an absolute mess.  Why does Yoshida think eliminating Dragon Sound is the key to controlling the drug trade in that area?  They haven’t done any vigilante stuff at that point – they just react when Jeff attacks them.  I get why the rival band, who were fired from the nightclub so Dragon Sound could play instead, would want them out of the picture, but the ninja bikers seem to have no reason to care.  Meanwhile, said rival band just kind of falls out of the movie and is never seen again.

I don’t know who the main character is supposed to be.  The story starts out being about John and Jane’s star-crossed relationship, which could have had a Romeo and Juliet angle with Jeff’s death but doesn’t. Then they slide out of the way as we focus on Jim’s search for his missing father, which keeps us busy a while, but then the final showdown is between Mark and Yoshida, who have so far been secondary characters.  Jane isn’t even present at the ending, although Jim’s father does show up to recite some more utterly terrible dialogue as he reconciles with his son.

Jim, John, Jack, Jane, and Jeff.  Did Kim just think all American names start with J?

I’m not sure how old Y. K. Kim’s character Mark is supposed to be.  He and the other bandmembers are room-mates, and he dresses like them and rides around in their convertible with his feet up on the dashboard.  He talks and acts like them and tells people that his bandmates are ‘like brothers’.  But whereas they’re all in their twenties, Kim was forty-one when this movie was made and there is no attempt to hide that.  Is he just supposed to be hip with the younger generations?  Or did they actually expect us to believe he was fifteen years younger than he looks?

           There are long sequences in which nothing happens. We see the band play a whole song at the club, twice, and then one of those songs is re-used for a montage sequence of characters at the beach.  The latter does not further the plot but it does show us a lot of women’s butts with wet bathing suits clinging to them, as well as the world’s best-dressed nudist. There’s a sequence of taekwondo training that runs several minutes, and which does nothing but set up a single finishing move that will recur at the climax.  There’s a biker company picnic like the one in The Hellcats but without the interesting parts.

Literally everybody in this movie practices some kind of martial art, including the nightclub owner and the drug dealers… but I figure that was just the 80’s.  Also, this movie taught me that men in the 80’s took their sunglasses off as a sign of respect, much like removing the hat in earlier decades.

What the fuck is up with the dancing crop-top dude?  Even the guy who’s about to fight him looks confused by him.  He was so weird I thought he’d be a good stinger, until we arrived at Miami Connection’s ultimate stinger moment – a car turns a corner, revealing a bunch of motorcycles on a collision course with it, and John, in the driver’s seat, says, “ugh, ninjas.”

On a slightly more serious note, the movie does have an ostensible message, which is spelled out between the last shot and the closing credits: only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace.  This is kind of a silly statement because, yeah, that’s what peace is, but also because we’ve just spent this entire movie watching people beat the shit out of each other with hands, feet, and whatever they can grab.  The script is aware of this contradiction, though, and stops at several points to remind us that taekwondo and other martial arts are not merely fighting techniques but ways of life that promote discipline of the body and mind and strong bonds between people.  This is the side of taekwondo that Dragon Sound plans to promote during their world peace tour, and the message seems heartfelt enough even if the delivery is lacking.

In that light its interesting to note that this disciplined martial arts lifestyle seems very much at odds with the hedonistic biker one that Yoshida and his followers also participate in.  The two stereotypes conflict on every possible level, right down to ninjas being quiet while motorcycles are loud.  I think this might be an attempt to paint the baddies as hypocrites, but I honestly don’t know.  It’s equally possible that ‘biker ninjas’ were just the coolest-sounding thing Kim could think of.

After that list of suckage, I do have to say that there are two or three things Miami Connection does astonishingly well.  Both the night shots and the gore effects are pretty good – especially the night shots.  You can always see enough to tell what’s going on, but it’s not so bright that you don’t believe it’s night-time.  I’ve seen way worse in movies with way higher budgets.  The fight choreography is also shockingly effective sometimes. It never turns taekwondo or any of its other martial arts into some kind of artsy dance performance.  The fight scenes are brutal, and you believe that the people in them are fighting for their lives.  Maybe not the best thing for their message that taekwondo is the key to world peace, but pretty effective if you’re just here to enjoy the chop-socky.

Being so terrible and yet so much fun, it’s no surprise that Miami Connection showed up on Rifftrax Live in 2015. Y. K. Kim was a pretty good sport about it, too – apparently he’s happy his film has finally found an audience, even an ironic one.  That puts him much higher on the dignity ladder than Joe Don Baker or Sandy Frank, and even if he seems like a bit of a huckster I have to hand it to him for that.