#i fished those fishes specially for his soup

[aphrodijin]

swing life away | min yoongi

pairing: min yoongi x fem!reader

synopsis: it's your first anniversary as a married couple but not only did you forget today's special occasion, you also didn't prepare a self-made gift for your husband -- except for the bundle of joy in your womb.

rating: 18+

word count: 5.2k

tags/content warning: married au, pregnancy, slight angst, miscommunication, mentions of infidelity (no one's cheating), mentions of food and being vegan (no one's vegan), usage of babe/baby as endearment, semi-public sex, SMUT in the forms of oral sex (m. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (don't do this unless you want kids or std), slight spanking, yoongi being a carpenter/loving husband/dumpling/etc.

this fic is inspired by the song "swing life away" by rise against and yoongi's woodcarving vlog :] enjoy!

Min Yoongi was many things.

He’s a skilled carpenter with his own woodshop business by day, and a rising songwriter/record producer by night. He’s a confident all-star basketball player back in his high school days and can still shoot perfectly whenever he plays with some of your shared friends in the backyard these days. He’s a great cook too, always indulging your cravings.

Min Yoongi was many things but most importantly, he’s your husband.

And a very observant one.

It’s been more than a month when he first noticed it. He wasn’t exactly sure what was “it,” but he knew it wasn’t good. He could tell there was something bothering in your mind one night you went home from work and claimed it’s nothing instead of ranting to him like the usual. Just a bad day at work.

A week after that was when you started to stay long hours at work, looking more pale and exhausted when you get home. It baffled Yoongi why you would spend more hours there if it’s stressing you and you’ve never actually worked overtime, but he knew he’s not one to talk about spending more time at work when he has two jobs and does one of those said jobs at home, so he shut his mouth. He didn’t say anything.

Not when you changed your perfume from an intoxicating fruity scent to a soft floral one. Not when he saw a receipt of you having your car interior cleaned and also changed the smell of it. Not when you didn’t want to have sex anymore, always pushing his hands away when they start to wander down there.

A lot of new small things bothered him, especially the last one but what made him almost lose it was when you had mistaken his dish, the one you claimed to be your favorite, for a different one.

x◇x◇x

“Do you like it?”

You nodded, despite still blowing the steam off of your spoon. When you finally tasted it though, he could tell on the look on your face that there’s something missing on his dish. “What is it? Did I not put enough fish sauce or tomato sauce?”

“You put fish sauce in this?” You asked, smiling adorably at your husband and reached across the table to hold his hand in assurance. “It tastes fine, babe, but there’s no need for fish sauce in this. You could’ve added more liver spread and cheese though. You know I love a lot of cheese in this.”

Yoongi closed his eyes for a moment to breathe. He understood the cheese part, you always add cheese to a lot of dishes that doesn’t even need cheese. “Y/N, I didn’t put liver spread because that dish doesn’t require liver spread. It needed fish sauce.”

“What are you talking about? Caldereta is all about the tender beef, tomato sauce, liver spread, and cheese!”

“That's afritada, Y/N. You’re favorite dish back home is afritada.”

Yoongi blinked and composed himself, trying not to look so wounded. He’s so damn sure you’re favorite was afritada, you’ve talked about it a lot. Hell, he’d already cooked it a couple of times before. He had the recipe that he searched online bookmarked on his browser, and he even went to the lengths of jotting them down on his journal just in case the link is taken down.

“Afritada… you mean this is chicken?” You scooped for some meat parts from the reddish soup dish, and there it was, your recent enemy: chicken. “I can’t eat chicken right now, Yoongi, I'm sorry.” You sat straight up, covering your mouth and nose with your hand.

“Of course, it’s chicken. It’s always been chicken, Y/N. It’s a chicken dish, that’s why you love it so much. Or loved, apparently, judging by your actions tonight.”

“I'm sorry,” your voice came out muffled as your hand was still covering your mouth.

“When did you start hating chicken?” he asked as he stood up to take your plate away and check the pantry to prepare something else for you.

“Um, my coworker, Seokhoon, he’s practicing to be a vegan lately so we thought we’d support him by also not eating meat…”

Yoongi’s ears perked up, hearing how your answer sounded uncertain and more like a question, so he pressed more, looking over his shoulder at you. “You were more than ready and excited to eat beef and cheese earlier but you wouldn’t eat chicken right now?”

You stared dumbfoundingly at him before shrugging. “I’m trying with small things like egg and chicken.”

“I made you an omelet for breakfast earlier.” He pointed out, holding your gaze.

“I… just started… to try being vegan earlier at lunch. And also meat are becoming pricey these days, our salary might not be enough. Sooner or later, we’re gonna have to cut back on our expenses. What would you rather give up—chicken or beef?”

Of course, Yoongi would rather eat tofu and bean sprouts for the rest of his life if it meant you get to eat properly and satisfy your cravings. But he didn’t bother to reply that as he cooked you a different dish that night. Fuck Seokhoon for influencing you to be vegan. Fuck the government for the rising prices and not handling the economy better.

x◇x◇x

Ever since that dinner night, Yoongi began to question your marriage. He wanted to talk to you because he didn’t know what to make of your actions anymore, but everytime you two were in the room together, he could you tell you were uncomfortable and couldn’t wait to get out of the situation. Besides, he’s afraid to ask because he knows he’s not prepared for any possible answers you'll give him.

You cheated? Yoongi knew it’s impossible. It had to be because he wouldn’t know what to do with that with that revelation. That would honestly break him.

You lost your job and was just actually driving around town to look for a new one and pass the time? It sounded stupid but not impossible. He would be disappointed and wish that you had told him sooner to prepare and possibly take on a third job.

You’re pregnant? He supposed this is a realistic scenario. You two had talked about this sincerely before getting married, of course, both wanting two kids. He just feels like it’s still early for babies and you two haven’t done all your goals as a married couple before becoming parents.

So he told himself to wait, that you would open up to him when you’re finally ready to unburden your problems. He’s a patient man after all.

But his patience seemed to be running thin today on the morning of your anniversary when he rolled over to your side as he woke up to cuddle you closer and hopefully start the day buried inside you.

He knew you’re awake, even with your eyes closed. You've been waking up earlier than him lately, one of your many changing habits. He took your hand that was hugging your stomach and pressed a soft kiss on your fingers, on your palm, on your wrist, trailing them across your arm up to your shoulder.

“Y/N,” he whispered your name, wishing for you to open your eyes when he nipped at your jaw. He called your name once again as his lips were ghosting over yours. Your eyelashes fluttered open just enough to look at him and when he finally saw your eyes, he leaned down to kiss you deeply.

You freed your hand from his to curl your fingers up into his long hair, urging him closer while the other slid up beneath his shirt, feeling the heat of his body that you’ve been missing for weeks now. You pulled your knees up as Yoongi settled himself in between your legs, grinding his hard cock against your core.

But just as his own hand started to drift down on your hips, you slowed down, giving his lips one last kiss before pressing your forehead to his. You both stayed there without any movements at all, just gasping for air and holding each other’s skin and flesh tightly every now and then.

When it sounded like you were about to apologize, he pressed a kiss on your forehead and whispered, “Happy anniversary, baby,” before bolting right out of the bed, before you could even say it back to him.

x◇x◇x

Despite your husband having his own woodshop and fulfilling his dreams in the music industry, you didn’t let go of your job when you and Yoongi got married.

You were on your way back to your desk from your third visit to the bathroom that morning when you saw the delivery man on the front door of the store carrying a gigantic bouquet of flowers he almost disappeared behind it.

“Min Y/N?” he asked, looking around the store.

Jia turned to the direction of the bathroom and pointed at you when she saw you. You stayed your feet at your place. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t move. The flowers looked beautiful—a bouquet of pale and dark red carnations, along with sunflowers, wrapped meticulously in craft paper and tied with a golden ribbon—but there’s a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach that’s making it hard for you to appreciate this.

“This is for you!” The delivery man presented the bouquet to you with a proud smile. When you didn’t move, he gingerly took your arms to place the flowers in them and then took off.

A minute must have passed by yet none of you and your colleagues moved or talked. It wasn’t until a client came in and needed assistance. Jia wrapped her arm around you and walked you back to your desk. As you sat down, you caught sight of the red card sticking out of the flowers. HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY, BABY.

Reading Yoongi's handwritten note, you recognized that bad feeling again that you knew all too well lately. Shame and guilt. You had to close your eyes and practice your breathing exercises before those bad feelings in your stomach turn into a pile of chunky vomit across the floor.

Jia, oblivious to your anxiety, swooned over the flowers. “Happy anniversary, Y/N!”

It’s the second greeting you’ve received today and you couldn’t help but wince when you remember how you froze when Yoongi greeted you.

You didn’t know how this special event slipped up your mind when staring at your calendar was all you’ve been doing lately. You were aware that your own anniversary was near and you even had a lot of ideas for DIY gifts to give to your husband.

You tried to make it up to Yoongi by going after him and showering together to have some hot shower sex even though the thought of sex was making you nervous lately. Yoongi turned down the offer though, saying you’re both gonna be late for work, which was a very pathetic excuse considering he’s his own boss and your own work doesn’t start in a couple of hours. So you showered together in silence.

Just as you’re about to calm down, you’re eyes widened in panic because not only you forgot your own anniversary day, of course you also forgot to actually make a gift despite tons of ideas in your journal and Pinterest board.

“Jia, I didn’t get him a gift!” It wasn’t even noon yet, and you’re already close to breaking down for the third time today.

“Well, the department store is just around the corner. I can come with you at lunch to buy something last minute.”

You shook your head and explained to her that buying some expensive stuff isn’t enough. Knowing your husband, he already made you a gift days ago. You’re not sure if it’s something from his woodshop or if he composed you a song, all you know is Yoongi probably made you a gift with love. No amount of money could compare to that.

“Well, there’s always sex?” At the sight of your face crumpling once again, Jia took back her suggestion. “Or not! Honestly, Y/N, this is why I’m all single and alone in life so I don’t have to give people gifts and you’re making me stress about your own anniversary gift.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“And really, you’re worrying about gifts when…” she paused to look down at your belly. “Have you told him yet?”

You shook your head.

“Well, there’s your anniversary gift, congratulations!”

“This is a stupid gift." Despite your harsh words, you wrapped arm protectively around your middle.

“Why? You said you want to give him something you made, well you made that. He even helped, too!”

You couldn’t possibly just announce you’re pregnant on your anniversary day? Right? Sure, it’s convenient and practical – two celebrations in one night!

But that’s not the actual thing that’s been bothering you. You’ve been hiding your condition to your husband for weeks now, when you should have told him that he’s a gonna be a dad the moment you saw the plus sign on a stick. But you didn’t because you’re scared and if you’re gonna be honest, also selfish. Selfish to have Yoongi the Husband™️ all to yourself just for a couple more days before he turns into Yoongi, your husband and the father of your unborn fetus. And then that selfishness turns into guilt for not telling him, for distancing yourself.

A part of you wished he’ll figure it out on his own, that’ll save you a speech.

x◇x◇x

Even before you started to spent late hours at work, Yoongi always comes home an hour or so before you. It usually gives him enough time to prepare for dinner.

However today, he asked his friend Seokjin to prepare a romantic dinner for you two as he would busy himself installing the porch swing he made as his anniversary gift for you.

With his long hair tied in a half bun, a few strands tucked behind his ears and locked into place with pins, and a safety googles on his face, Yoongi began by drilling two holes up into the ceiling joists where he would screw the hooks. When he’s done and swept away the dust, he took the chains that’s wrapped in rope for extra support and aesthetic purposes and attached them to swing before hoisting them up to the hooks.

Despite wanting his gift to be all handmade, Yoongi had no choice but to buy a small foam mattress and throw pillows to decorate the swing. He placed them all nicely and removed his googles before sitting down and testing the swing if it runs smoothly.

Swinging for a couple of minutes gave Yoongi enough time to relax from the stress of his jobs, from setting this swing up, from all his fears and worries.

It gave him enough peace from all the doubts and questions inside his head. He hoped that this would give you the same. He hoped that you seeing this swing – the one you dreamed for so long, the one that he promised you because how could he ever say no – will help you remember that the fact that you two get to celebrate this day was because of your love for each other and the trust you’ve built all these years even before marrying.

Yoongi had set up the swing in the right side of the house, facing a line of tall trees that secludes this house from the main road, and close enough to the backyard for some peace and privacy that if anyone walks or drives in to your lot, they wouldn’t see you right away as the beams would hinder their sight. But anyone who’s sitting here would see just fine if there’s someone coming in.

Just like Yoongi saw your car rolled in right away to park next to his pickup truck. He stood up and waved his arm to call your attention, excited to show you his gift. When you didn’t see him, he jogged up to the front and flashed a smile when you jumped up in surprise at the sight of him.

“What are you doing outside?”

“I have to show you something, come on!” He went to cover your eyes for surprise and guided you to the back.

You were expecting some surprise in the backyard, probably a dinner he cooked but your assumptions came into a halt as Yoongi stopped only after taking a few steps. When he removed his hands and told you to open your eyes, a cozy porch swing greeted your sight.

“That’s…” you trailed off, walking closer and wrapping your hand around the chain-rope. From the bulky design of the chain and rope to the uneven height of the wooden slabs of the back support, Yoongi made you the exact wooden swing that you drunkenly drew a long time ago when you two just started dating.

“Happy anniversary, Y/N.” You heard Yoongi say behind you, and you wish he had said it the way he greeted you this morning – with such coldness and hurt. You felt like you didn’t deserve this with the way you’ve been treating him this past month.

Not wanting to hurt him any longer and bring back normalcy in your relationship, you turned to look at him, your eyes teary and said, “I… I'm sorry, babe.”

“Why? What is it?”

“I…” You cleared your throat and wondered which should you say first: you didn’t get him any gift, or you’re pregnant. You figured you should go with the bad news first before softening the mood with the good news, you’re just not sure which is which. “I didn’t get you any gift. I actually forgot it’s our anniversary today, I’m sorry.”

Yoongi fell silent before chuckling nervously. Sure, forgetting your own anniversary was bad, but that’s little compared to what Yoongi was imagining these past few days. “That’s alright, I thought it was something serious.”

“Why? What did you think I was going to say?” you prodded before you drop your next bomb.

“I don’t know what I thought, honestly. Things haven’t been quite well with us lately, Y/N.” He shrugged, scratching his nape. “I thought of pregnancy. There’s one where you don’t actually have a job anymore and just didn’t want to say it. I also thought you’re cheating with fucking Seokhoon—”

“Seok-Seokhoon? Why the hell would you think that? I couldn’t stand that guy.”

“I don’t know Y/N, you tell me, you’re the one who suddenly didn’t want to eat chicken because fucking Seokhoon is trying to be vegan.”

You thought about the lamb chops Seokhoon devoured at lunch today. You also remembered the night Yoongi was referring to, when you almost spilled your guts literally and figuratively at the smell of the chicken.

“Seokhoon isn’t vegan. But one of your hunches is true.” You walked towards him, taking his hand in yours and placing it on your stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

Yoongi froze for a minute, staring at your eyes down to your stomach that he’s touching. His gummy smile slowly broke into his face, giggling as he asked to confirm, “Pregnant? With babies?”

You nodded, matching his smile. “Yeah, pregnant, but hopefully just a singular baby. Or fetus, I’m not sure, I haven’t been to a clinic yet. I was putting it off because I want you to be there at the first checkup since I left you in the dark when I took the test. I'm really sorry about that, Yoongi, I just didn’t know how to say it. I was scared and nervous myself about this baby and I kn—”

Yoongi cut off your ramblings by kissing you. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry I thought you were cheating when you were feeling this way all on your own. I should’ve asked you.”

You shook you head. “I'm sorry I let you think that, too. But there’s no way I would’ve betray you for Seokhoon or anyone else, really. I love you so much, Yoongi.”

You stood in your toes to kiss him again, muttering again and again how much you love him and how sorry you were. His hands stayed firmly on each side of you, and you didn’t pushed him away this time. You looped your arms around his neck and tugged him closer.

This one kiss – after all those weeks of just pecking and short kisses, after the frustrating mess that happened earlier morning – was so hungry and powerful and mind-numbing. You wouldn’t even wanna stop if a lightning strike near you two. You missed him so much, you would’ve take him right here, right now.

But Yoongi pulled away, breathing ruggedly as he said, “You haven’t tried it yet.”

“Tried the what yet?”

“The swing, don’t you wanna take a ride on it?”

Despite his innocent question referring to the swing, your eyes mischievously glinted and an idea popped into your mind. You took his hand and gestured for him to sit down. Trying to calm yourself down, you kissed your husband first before prying his legs open and kneeling down between them, instead of sitting beside him.

“What are you doing?” he smirked, enjoying the sight in front of him.

“I was thinking I could ride you on it instead, but first…”

With a coy smile, you unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down along with his underwear, freeing his hard cock. Licking your lips in anticipation, you wrapped your hand around him, thumb circling at the precum beading on his crown.

Yoongi hissed at sensation, bucking his hips up. “Fuck, baby, don’t tease me. It’s been a month.” His hands ran through your hair to keep them out of the way and prompted for you to start.

“Happy anniversary,” you greeted him before placing sloppy, wet mouth kisses on the head of his dick and moving them down while your hand was steadily stroking the base and the other was gently squeezing and rolling his balls.

When you made sure to coat every inch of his cock with your saliva, you kissed his crown one more time before taking him in your mouth, trying to fit whatever you can while your hand covered the rest.

“Ahh, that feels so good, babe. I’ve really missed you,” he rasped.

You moaned around him as you felt yourself getting wet even just at the sound of his voice and at the feeling of his heavy cock sliding in and out of your mouth. One of his hands weaved into your hair once again to carefully guide you at the pace he wanted. He bit his lip in concentration as he tried to restrain himself from just snapping his hips up to fuck your face but failing a couple of times, making you choke and teary-eyed.

Yoongi couldn’t help but groan at the sight of you, mouth wide open full of his cock, eyes in tears staring up at him. His other hand cupped your jaw, his thumb caressing your cheek.

“You’re doing so good, baby, taking my cock so well.”

His moans were getting louder and he started to lose control of his hips, a sign that Yoongi’s close to his orgasm. You released his cock to tease him a little bit, swirling your tongue over again at the sensitive spot of his crown as you pumped his length, making him all whiny as he repeated your name again and again like a mantra along with few curse words, before sucking him whole again with the intention of swallowing his hot cum. Which Yoongi delivered, a lot. And loudly.

You pulled yourself off of his cock, still semi-hard, and opened your mouth to show him that you’ve swallowed every drop of his cum. Still breathing heavily, Yoongi smiled proudly at you. “You’re gonna be the fucking death of me, Y/N baby. Come here.”

“Not to doubt you, but are you sure this won’t give out on us?” You asked, looking up at the ceiling where the swing is hanging.

“Of course not, at least three people can sit here. We’ll be fine, even when we finally have our kid sitting down here with us,” he replied, helping you get up at your feet.

You stared down at him, grinning at the thought of your kid playing at this very porch swing their daddy made in the future. But first, it’s gonna mommy and daddy’s turn on the swing for a while.

Because of the disastrous shower session earlier, you tried to make it up to your husband by wearing his favorite black lace lingerie underneath one of your red dress that gave out the equal vibe of classy and slutty to entice him on. You also figured, might as well wear them while you still can.

You unbuttoned the dress open from the top, revealing the lacy bra, causing Yoongi to raise his eyebrows.

“You wore lingerie to work?”

“Yeah, it turned out to be quite itchy and uncomfortable to wear for a long time actually,” you pouted. “Help me out of it, please.”

Yoongi leaned forward, one of his hands held you firmly by your waist while the other slipped beneath your dress, running his fingertips along the edge of your underwear before pulling them aside to sink a finger inside your cunt and moving it in a ‘come hither' motion. He added another finger while his thumb drew circles on your clit to send you over the edge.

You gasped, your hands paused from unclasping your bra to balance yourself on your husband’s shoulders as he stretched you out, spreading your slick all over your slit. When your juices had dripped down on his wrist, Yoongi took that as a cue that you’re wet enough and hooked his hands around your underwear to remove them before pulling you into his lap.

He gathered the skirt of your dress, bunching them up to your waist. You bit your lower lip as your pussy was pressing against his cock, feeling hard and thick against your wet core. Feeling impatient as Yoongi kissed your neck, you tried to move your hips, chasing that pleasure the friction gave you, in which you earned a gentle slap in the ass from him.

“Take this off,” he said, toying with the strap of your bra.

You nodded like a good girl, unclasping them from behind and took the straps of your shoulders. Yoongi pulled down your dress, revealing your tits. He stared at them for a second, both of his hands cupping each breast gently, thumbs grazing your soft skin and hardened nipple. You were about to make a joke when he leaned down to start licking and sucking one of your tits, while he massaged the other one.

While he was busy, you attempted to get yourself off by rocking your hips against him again, whether on his cock or his thigh, you didn’t care. A cry left your lips when he slapped your ass once again, a bit harder this time, before proceeding to grab your ass in his hands and dig his fingers in to help you move. You whimpered every time your sensitive clit rubbed pass his tip, making him almost poked your entrance.

Yoongi switched his attention on your other tit, but never faltering his movement to make you come on his cock. He could feel you’re close, your folds fluttering against his cock, your hips jerking more uncontrollably, your juices running down on his skin to the foam cushion he newly bought, making a mental note to buy a new one.

“Y—Yoongi…” you moaned, eyes scrunched close and head thrown back. “Oh, I'm gonna—oh fuck Yoongi—”

He looked up from your chest to stare at the fucked out expression on your face as you come, his hands on your hips controlling your move to help you ride out your orgasm. When he felt that you’re almost done coming down from your high, Yoongi lifted you up to line his tip against your entrance and helped you sink down on his cock. You moaned loudly at the feeling of your cunt being stretched out so deliciously after a month without an intercourse.

None of you spoke for a while, but you were thankful that Yoongi didn’t fuck you right away and instead let you adjust to the size as he sucked and nibbled every inch of your skin.

“If I’m pregnant right now, does that mean we don’t need a condom for a while? Or you can still get me pregnant while I’m pregnant?”

“It can happen, but it’s rare.” Yoongi saw your concerned expression, so he asked, “Do you want me to wear one?”

You smiled and shook your head immediately. “No. I want to feel you.” With that being said, you hooked your arms across his shoulders and started to bounce on his cock, grinding your clit on his pelvis everytime you come down.

Despite the frustrations and longing that Yoongi had built up for a month, he managed to calmly hold back and sit there as you ride him. At the back of his mind, he was also hesitant to pound his dick in and out of you without a care because he’s afraid he might hurt the baby. So he let you control the pace while his hands wander over your body, palming your tits and smacking your ass.

“Ahh Yoongi… please, fuck me.” You couldn’t keep your upper body straight anymore as your walls began on clenching around his dick, so you leaned your head on his shoulder. “I can’t—I feel so close again…”

“I know, baby, I got you now. You did great,” Yoongi whispered tenderly, placing a kiss on your head. He gripped your thighs in place, thrusting his hips upward into you and picked up the pace to bring you to your second orgasm.

You cried out in pleasure as Yoongi kept hitting that sweet spot inside you, your body beginning to tremble in his arms. You could feel him getting close too by the way his thrusts were being quick and sloppy so you curled your hand around the curly strands on his nape, your lips leaving wet kisses on his neck as you tried to give him hickeys.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, holy shit baby…”

You were lucky you live in a remote place and didn’t have any neighbors for miles as they would’ve surely heard Yoongi's loud groans and your high-pitched moans as you came together. Yoongi had thrust one more time inside you, bringing your hips down as he flushed your bodies together and filled your cunt with his thick cum.

None of you wanted to move at that moment, just catching up on your breaths and occasionally rocking your hips into each other for a potential round two when your stomach had a sudden craving — dumplings.

And dumplings reminded you of — “Oh my, god, we’re gonna have a baby dumpling in a few months.”

“I’m not a dumpling,” he groaned, burying his face on the crook of your neck as you laugh.

Min Yoongi was many things—a carpenter, a songwriter and producer, a basketball player, a dumpling (despite his denial), your loving husband, and in a few months, a proud father.

Hello! Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and please, reblogs and feedbacks are always welcome and appreciated :)

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©️ 2022 aphrodijin

[son-of-anubis]

Begging you to write Coriolanus Snow x Male!reader fics!! There’s not nearly enough!

I am happy to try! Hope you like it!

Beauty in lies?

Coriolanus Snow x Male!Capitol Reader

Content: Jealousy, not really Lucy Gray slander as reader is very aware of how cool she is but clearly doesnt like her, reference to Coryos slow decent into madness, idk what else?

A/N: not proofread sorry! It took a while to do this because my dog has been a bit sick, but I am trying! Thanks all for liking my writing!

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Lucy Gray was a pain. A beautiful and talented pain. But still, a pain.

I looked at Coryo across the table. The Snow estate, once beautiful, now quite barren. I studied his face, carved to perfection. He was very slim, but most people were, the war had spared noone really.

He must have felt my staring, because suddenly I was met with blue eyes. Coriolanus was still bent over his bowl of watery soup, his eyes peering at me through his whitish blond locks. He quirked a brow, silently asking why I could possibly be observing him with such interest.

"You're tribute is quite, colorful." I hated how insecure I sounded. I wanted it to come off as nonchalant, maybe even like I was looking down on the girl.

Coryo hummed, suspicion falling over his face.

"So?" His voice sounded like honey to my ears, but the sharp edge was impossible to deny.

I almost wanted to back down. Stop my questioning and smooth it all over. But I didn't.

"You seem to be very involved. She is a interesting girl, no?" The heavy emphasis on 'girl' hung in the air. The hope was that he would volonteer information. Coryo rarely did, but maybe, just maybe this time.

"I'm her mentor, she has to perform to Capitol liking." Or maybe not.

I sighed and looked away. Most days being Coryos boyfriend made me feel special and amazing, like a precious gem, or one of his grandma'ams roses.

But every now and then Coryos clear obsessive nature and need to be the best would beat out the affection they felt for each other. I hated those times.

"I better leave." I said, clearing my throat. He was still observing me, but seemed to let my fishing for answers, that I didn't really want, go as I leaned down to quickly kiss his lips.

As I left to my own house the anxiety grew in my stomach. Something was going to go wrong, I was sure of it.

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Wow. Just wow.

Looking at the TV from my couch I could easily see Coryo and his tribute, so close they were sharing a breath between the bars.

Lucys face was somewhat obscured by Coriolanuses but it was hard to miss when Lucy leaned into my boyfriend.

I turned the TV off. Fuck them. I knew it. I knew I was going to be cast aside. He never could let go once he latched onto something.

My face felt hot but I refused to cry, it was pathetic.

Slamming the door to my room I sat down at my desk, taking deep breaths. Why would he do this to me? Why?

I looked around my room, Coryo didn't like being at my house, he said it reminded him of a life he didn't have anymore. My eyes stopped at a frame. It was a picture of me, Coryo, Sejanus, Tigris and Clemmie at a festival that was held before the games every year. I tried to think if he ever stopped looking at me the way he was looking at me in the picture. I dont think he did? But who knows.

With a sigh I ripped my clothes off and got ready for bed. Fuck him.

------------

I woke up with a start. It was still dark outside but something was shaking me. Trying to blink the sleep away my focus quickly fell on sky blue eyes.

"Coryo......lanus." I greeted. I was probably being petty, insisting on full name formal, but I didn't really care.

He regarded me for a bit, before lightly nudging my shoulder. With a groan I moved closer to the wall and he easily joined me in bed. He must have already taken his shirt off before he woke me I concluded.

"You really shouldn't trust everything you see on TV, you know." Coryo decided to cut the silence. I hummed.

"What about trusting my own eyes?"

"Well, your eyes was seeing it from the angle the Capitol wanted, did they not?"

"I guess." I agreed, turning away.

The tension was thick and it stayed quiet for a long while before I felt his arms wrap around me.

"We didn't kiss. I'm not saying it wasn't tempting, but you are much more important than Lucy Gray. I just-"

"Get stuck, I know." I let out another tired and frustrated groan. I know, like a bloodhound he was stuck on a trace. Always.

"She-" a kiss to my shoulder, "does-" one to the top of my head, "NOT-" one to the nape of my neck, "matter." and a final on to my cheek.

I finally turned around in his arms, trying to find a lie on his face.

"You promise?" my voice sounded like a whisper, yet still echoed in the small space between us.

"Absolutely. She is going to get me the Plinth Price. Then we are on track to one day rule all of panem, the way we want to. All of it, just for us. Just for you. Okay?"

He could be lying, but the determination on his face comforted me, so I made the choice to believe him.

With a soft kiss to his lips I mumbled a 'okay', relaxing into his embrace and falling back asleep.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), smut (18+, dni if under 18)

author’s note: things are picking up now xx

masterlist

and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

Waking up on a Friday was also the toughest thing to do. At least, it had become an issue ever since Sadie realised that the 5th day of the week usually meant the last one at kindie before she got to spend the next two days at home. In fewer words, the two year old had learned the concept of a regular working week which is a feat considering her father blatantly disregards the sanctity of a Monday to Friday work week in favour of a messier approach. Y/N was almost sure his motto was screw work-life balance; nevertheless, Sadie made it incredibly hard to bathe and dress with all her excitement with what to do over the weekend, specially since Steve was around.

She finished brushing and braiding Sadie's hair, straightening her uniform so she wouldn't get yet another passive aggressive note from the PTA mums complaining about tidy uniforms - as if it was possible to get a 2 year old to be tidy. The two went downstairs with Sadie running to the breakfast table once she saw some donuts laying around which she was sure to only eat the pink icing of and hand Y/N or Bucky the donut itself.

There was something ... off. Bucky was silently buttering a slice of toast and Steve was staring into the further wall which Y/N knew was not that interesting.

- Who died? - Y/N asked as she sat down.

- It's Friday morning, Y/N. Sorry if we're not singing Kumbaya my lord. - Bucky replied, taking a bite of his toast.

- Thank god, you can't hold a tune. - Y/N smirked, helping Sadie place a napkin on her lap. - We're gonna need to get Sadie a new uniform, by the way.

- A new one? - Bucky looked up from his plate. - Swear we bought her that one a few months ago.

- We need to get the winter uniform. She doesn't fit the one from last year and it's starting to get chilly.

- Take the AMEX and buy it today. - Bucky fished through his wallet before handing Y/N the gold card. - Oh, get her one of those lunchbox thingies. I saw some kids with them the other day.

- Hm, now describe such lunchbox thingie, Sergeant.

- What do you mean? The thingies the kids carry along with their lunchbox for soup or water. The round thing.

- A thermos? Why would Sadie need a thermos?

- Yeah Bucky, she's a 2 year old not a college student. - Steve said, handing Sadie a donut. - She doesn't need one.

- Y/N get her one. Get one for yourself too, you eat soup right?

- I have a thermos, thank you.

Sadie, as expected, ate the sprinkles and frosting off the donut and handed the half eaten donut to Y/N. She excused her from the table, kissing the top of her head and sending her on her merry way to wash her hands and get her backpack, leaving Y/N to bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen. Bucky followed behind like a puppy, carrying some leftover pastries and fruit to put in the fridge before they ended up with fruit flies.

- Are you going to Columbia today? - he said, opening the fridge nonchalantly.

- No. I'm going to come back home after dropping Sadie. I have some online meetings booked with some experts in the UK and France about some topics in my PhD and the library didn't have any available private rooms.

- I'll ask Steve to come down with me to the office then.

- That's not necessary. - Y/N loaded the dishwasher with the plates, looking at Bucky, taking a very good look. He didn't look as put together as he usually did. His hair, usually wavy yet gelled into place, was messy and he wasn't wearing his suit yet. - I'll just go to my bedroom.

- You can use my office. - was he trying to get on her good graces once more? - The internet signal is better there.

- It's your office, Sergeant. I'm not gonna use it.

- I absolutely hate it when you call me Sergeant. - he shut the fridge, leaning against it. - Look ...

He sighed, his eyes not meeting hers.

- I'm sorry. - those words came from his lips very slowly, as if it pained to say them and if Bucky were being honest it pained him to say them. Bucky wasn't sorry but that didn't mean he wanted Y/N to hate him forever. - It's not my place to interfere with your relationship.

- I know. - she shrugged. - If you think your opinion of my love life interferes with it in any way, you're wrong.

- I'm just trying to look out for you. There's a lot of wolves in New York.

- I'm not a country bumpkin, Sergeant. I know how to look after myself.

- So ... are you and Chris Davis dating then?

- That it none of your business, Sergeant.

- It actually is. - he smirked. - You see, you are my employee, he is my employee which means if two of my employees are dating they should tell HR.

- You're not HR, you're the CEO.

- Maybe I multitask, how about that?

- That would be illegal and a conflict of interests, Sergeant. Besides, why are you so interested in my relationship? Are you bored of yours?

- He's just not the type of guy I would picture you with.

Of course not. Bucky had always considered Y/N would end up with someone ambitious, someone who'd crawl and give blood, sweat and tears to get what they wanted. Chris Davis, although not a complete dunce, was not that. He was smart but he wasn't innovative - what he was good at was packaging old ideals to newer audiences. He didn't come up with new marketing ideas, nothing that hadn't been done and when he did it was usually under the guide of an executive. He wasn't his worse employee but he also wasn't his best and Bucky wanted Y/N to have the best.

- Clearly. - Y/N dried her hands. - As if you have a good track record of relationships.

- Is this about Anna? Are you still pissed off because of Anna?

- You can't treat people like crap and then expect them to forgive you.

- I know but you have to understand that me and Anna ...

- You are a father first, Sergeant. You can't potentially hurt your child because you're so blinded by this stupid notion of "a real family". You and Sadie are a real family, you don't need Anna and you can't force her. If Sadie was any older she could've gotten very hurt.

- I know but if it had gone well ...

- Bucky. - Y/N interrupted him. She didn't want to be mean, she didn't want to be hateful about a woman she'd never met, specially the woman who birthed Sadie. - If you think the woman who left a baby in front of your door and has never attempted contact would suddenly change your mind, you're naive.

- You wanna know what's funny? - he moved away from the fridge to get closer to her.

Y/N almost took a step back. She didn't like being close to Bucky, it was always weird for her. Bucky, despite being her boss, was an attractive man, an attractive and imposing figure and she sometimes would find herself divided between fear of what he would say and fear of what she usually did at night when she thought of him.

- I don't think anything is funny about that situation.

- Anna would've liked you. - he said before turning around, almost happy that he'd gotten her a bit speechless for a while, happy he got to be the dominant one for a bit. - And you would've liked Anna.

- I doubt I'd like any woman who would willingly sleep with you.

- She didn't like any woman who would willingly sleep with me either. - Y/N rolled her eyes, not really understanding what Bucky was trying to get at. He was always like this, jumped over bad moments looking for some peaceful solitude in an off hand joke or confusing statement. - Are we gonna continue being mad at one another?

- Who said I was mad at you?

- Fine, if you're not mad then take my office upstairs for your meetings.

Before Y/N could reply something regarding his very flawed logic who wouldn't win him any debate, Sadie came walking through the kitchen, dragging her backpack through the floor and her yellow raincoat so Y/N could help her onto the plastic garment.

- Hey squid. - Bucky lowered down to her help, taking over Y/N to help Sadie into her raincoat. - Do you want a thermos?

- What? - she looked at him eyes wide, probably not knowing what a thermos even was. The red head looked at her au pair, looking for clues about what her dad was talking about. Y/N just smiled and shrugged. - Yes.

- See? Told you she wanted a thermos. - Bucky picked her up to kiss her cheek, directing his voice towards Y/N.

- She doesn't know what a thermos is, Bucky. - Y/N took Sadie from him.

(...)

When she returned from dropping Sadie off, buying her an overpriced uniform and a thermos which she would probably only use by the time she was 12, she found an empty house. Bucky had made good on his promise, leaving a note telling her Steve was with him as well as where to find the key to the office. The office was usually locked due to Sadie, according to Bucky, having almost gotten hurt. If Bucky's dramatic retelling was to be believed, when Sadie had started to walk she'd manage to get into the office and grab a stapler which she was keen on using until Bucky caught her. However knowing Bucky and knowing 2 year old Sadie who still struggled to reach the handles of doors, she reckoned he was overreacting or probably saw something similar in one of those "scare the parents" TV shows.

Nevertheless, the office/study had been locked and Y/N had never had been inside, yet once she got inside, it looked like what she expected Bucky to have as a work space. It was white, bright and minimalist with a few knickknacks from when he had been stationed in Italy and some first version novels which had undoubtedly came from his mother. His desk was deep mahogany, neatly kept with all contents at a 90 degree angle.

She moved to seat on his chair, putting her laptop on the middle of her desk and logging into Zoom. She waited for the right time, her eyes hoovering over everything in his desk from the gold pens, to the tape and the photo frames. He had a big photo of Sadie when she was a newborn followed by a few others, yet what called her attention were two gold circled frames - one with a photo of Sadie and Y/N when she had first started to work for them and one of Y/N and Sadie at Christmas.

She didn't allow herself to dwell much on it, she had meetings to get to. Besides, this was nothing big. It was just a photo of his daughter that he liked which Y/N happened to appear in. She had bigger fish to fry now than wondering about Bucky.

(...)

The work day wasn't any better for Bucky. Steve was being, well, Steve and to describe Steve is to describe someone who likes playing both sides to get to a decision which everyone is happy with. He knew he shouldn't have brought up the stuff about his wife, Steve would never try to break a relationship, heck he wouldn't even think it. Nevertheless, now Steve and Y/N were upset at him - maybe they can unionise and start a little "We hate Bucky", maybe they'll get branded thermos.

- Sergeant Barnes? - his assistant knocked on the door. She was pretty, very pretty and Bucky was almost certain they'd slept together ... almost. Yet today not even the pretty assistant could sort his mood out. - Christopher Davis wants to talk to you.

- Christopher Davis? - oh yes, the best way to make his day, seeing Chris Davis. - What does he want?

- He says it'll be a quick word, Sergeant Barnes. Should I send him in?

- 5 minutes. - he sighed, closing his laptop. Maybe making Chris Davis squirm would make his day, yet again, he was sure the "We hate Bucky" club would not enjoy that. Besides, it was hair washing tonight for Sadie and last time he tried, he had ended up inside the bathtub.

Chris Davis walked into the office, the mere sight of him ignoring Bucky. Did Y/N seriously find that attractive? He was so bland, so boring, the only interesting thing about him was that he was rich and Bucky was almost certain he only finished his PhD because his godmother is Professor Anderson. Nevertheless, here he was, taking a seat in one of the chairs of his office without even asking. This is the guy who gets to see Y/N naked? Life really is unfair.

- What do you need Davis?

- I know this will probably be crossing a line but I was wondering if you could let Y/N have the weekend off.

- What Y/N? - he cocked a brow at him.

- My Y/N.

- My daughter's au pair Y/N? - Bucky rested against his chair, looking down at the man in front of him. - Why?

- I was thinking of taking her to the new restaurant downtown but she said she was busy with Sadie. I wouldn't ask but it's really hard to get reservations and I got one and I would love to take her.

Oh, this was fun.

- Y/N has always had the weekends off. She doesn't work weekends unless she wants to, specially not this weekend which I'll spend at home. Besides, she doesn't have a fixed work schedule.

- Oh ...

- Maybe fix your communication issues with her before you come and waste my precious time, Davis. You can go now.

(...)

Having meeting after meeting had really wasted all energy Y/N had and to congratulate herself for not crying when someone suggested another alteration to her project with a thick French accent, she decided to cuddle against one of Bucky's many small yet cuddly cashmere blankets in the couch of the living room watching Gilmore Girls. She was close to snoozing off when the front door opened and closed. It could be Bucky, Steve or a burglar but she was much too tired to actually check.

- Oh, Y/N, do I have some gossip to share with you. - Bucky. It was Bucky and it was the first time she'd heard him say the word gossip. That couldn't be good.

He walked with a douchey smile to stand in front of the TV, sitting on top of the coffee table and staring at her, just waiting for her to question him on it and she was much too tired to avoid playing his game.

- What? Someone you fucked got pregnant?

- Someone came into my office asking about you. I didn't know that you were gonna be busy with Sadie this week. Isn't Steve taking her to Coney Island?

- What?

- You're using me and my kid as an excuse not to go out with Chris Davis? - he chuckled. - What? Is he a bad lay or something?

- Oh shut up!

- Small dick?

- This is highly unprofessional. - she turned around to face the couch.

- And sleeping on my couch isn't? C'mon, tell me, Y/N. Are you tired to pretend to orgasm or have you just figured out he's just bland.

- You're such a child! - she got up, folding the blankets so she could get away from her but he kept going after her. - Why don't you go pick up your daughter?

- Steve has her. I wanna know more, I thought everything was okay in the Y/N-Chris relationship. Is he one of those guys who cries when he cums? Is that it? Is he a crier?

- Why won't you shut up?

- Or maybe he can't find your clit. You know, he can barely find the copy room sometimes and that's way bigger.

- He is perfectly fine, I just don't want to hang out and I didn't want to hurt his feelings but because you can't lie to save your goddamn life I know have to go.

- He's taking you to Le Coucou, you may want to brush your hair before you go. The poor thing fought so hard to get reservations but obviously you prefer to eat buttered noodles with Sadie.

- I have been to Le Coucou.

- I know, I took you there. - he smirked. - And here I was thinking you'd soon start bringing your boyfriend around.

- I don't want to go. I'm tired, I need to wash Sadie's hair tonight and that will take time and I am not in the headspace to get ready.

- I'm sure Chris would love it if you came in with a soaked white t-shirt.

- You're a dick, Bucky.

Before Bucky could continue with his teasing about it, Y/N's phone started ringing. She grabbed it from the counter and put it up to her ear as she saw Sadie's school number. Bucky watched, mostly hoping it was Chris so he could tease her some more but as the colour drained from her face, he realised he wasn't. She put her phone down and looked at Bucky.

- We have to go. - Y/N looked overwhelmed, looking around fo something. - Sadie has appendicitis. They called an ambulance and she's going to the New York-Presbyterian Hospital.

- Shit. - Bucky rushed to grab his keys.

- Where's her toy, where's a toy? - Y/N started throwing pillows around, looking for Sadie's cuddly toy.

- Y/N, let's go.

- NO! - she screamed at him. - She's scared and when she's scared she needs her toy and I knew, I knew she was a bit off when I dropped her off and I should've known better and I ...

- Y/N. - he held her shoulders, stopping her in place. - I'll go find her toy, get the car going and drive there.

- But yo ...

- I'll get a cab. Now you go and stay with her, I'll meet you there with the cuddly toy. Go.

taglist: @talesofadragon @themermaidscales82 @winters1917 @vladsgirlxx @stinkerbelle007 @maybefoxysouls @blackwood-bodecker-housewife

[roninreverie]

Lou Jitsu Research (ROTTMNT)

Well, I am finally at that step in the fandom cycle.... obsessive researching...

Basically, I am trying to time out Splinter’s acting career, using what 9 movies we know about to plan. 

The only 2 dates we know for sure are:

Crouching Shrimp Hidden Tiger Prawn: in 1984

and...

Hot Soup Forever: around 03/30/1998

We also know that Yoshi started dating Big Mama in 1984, around the same time as the Tiger Prawn movie and it was their dating and his eventual proposal of her that got him snatched away to the Battle Nexus.

So I was wondering three things basically:

What was his last Lou Jitsu film?

How long did Splinter and Big Mama date?

How long was he fighting in the Battle Nexus?

...

WHAT WAS HIS LAST FILM?

Based on just looking at the wiki, I am guessing the order of his films go something like:

1 Fish, 2 Fish, Red Fish – Dead Fish

Little Jacob's Ladder

Teriyaki Shakedown

Punch Chowder

Lou Jitsu Meets the Mummy Ninjas

Crouching Shrimp Hidden Tiger Prawn 

Bedtime for Bozos

Jitsu for Justice

Hot Soup Forever

While I’m mostly guessing on this order, I put 1 Fish 2 Fish, Jacob’s Ladder, and Teriyaki in the top 3 because of how old the footage looked or if it was imported/ had a dubbed voice over the acting... meaning he could have made one or all of these films while he still lived in Japan.

Also, 1 Fish 2 Fish was the one Splinter wanted to start with in the training marathon, so maybe that means it was one of the very first movies?

Punch Chowder sounds like it could go next, IDK why... just feel like a lot of people know that one, so it was probably one that highlighted his career more?

Then the Mummies because it sounds like a silly cash grab, perfect for his fifth movie. Need to give him plenty of time to go on all those yacht parties with supermodels and such.

The unseen terrible Jupiter Jim Christmas special can be somewhere around here, but that one doesn’t count! 😅

Then the Tiger Prawn one to cement that 1984 date and meeting Big Mama.

And just kind of guessing on the last ones based on how well known they are and how they’re at the DVD rental places, meaning they might be the later movies.

...

HOW LONG DID SPLINTER DATE BIG MAMA?

Ignoring this list completely, and if we go off the dates we ACTUALLY know, 1984-1998... that’s 14 years! Splinter and Big Mama could very well have dated for 14 long years! 

I’m wondering now what the public thought of Lou Jitsu’s disappearance and if a story was made up or if it would be just one of those unsolved celebrity mysteries for years to come. 

...

HOW LONG WAS HE TRAPPED IN THE BATTLE NEXUS?

Let’s assume Yoshi was 17-18 when he started acting.

In 2018, that would make him 55 years old.

In 1998 (around the time of his last-ish movie), he would have been 35. 

Then in 1984, when he started dating Big Mama, he would’ve been 21...

Putting his birthyear somewhere around 1963.

He was kidnapped and mutated in 2005, putting him at around 42 years old, and giving him 7 years of fighting in the Battle Nexus, swearing off fighting, and becoming a pacifist.

...

...

So that’s how far I’ve gotten on this research road. If anyone has any theories or better math skills to offer, I am all ears!

(EDIT: if anyone uses this info to write any fics about Splinter, I wanna read them! 🤩)

EDIT-EDIT:  I put this in a reply, but I wanted to add it in officially. Yoshi's “Kamen Rider” action figure was probably made around 1971, so he was (at minimum) 8 years old when his mom left. This is if we're assuming he was born in 63'. I’m not too familiar with Japanese 1970s elementary school uniforms, but I’m running with this assumption until proven otherwise.

[the-au-collector]

Was inspired by reading some LU incorrect quotes about cooking to make this little braindump. So uh yeah have some “how good are the Links at cooking” headcanons:

Wild - resident chef, obviously. Very good cook. Was taught how to at the Dueling Peaks stable and it’s very relaxing for him to cook. He genuinely enjoys cooking and has recipes saved from all over his Hyrule. He will fight the others for cooking duty, both on the road and when they’re somewhere safe. He just loves to cook. Before the Calamity, though, he could not cook. At all. He was absolutely horrible at it. Flora was surprised when she learned he knew how to cook all of a sudden.

Twilight - can only make pumpkin stew. More often than not he’s eating food from Telma’s, stuff that doesn’t need to be cooked, or he hunts and eats as a wolf.

Sky - knows a few recipes. I feel like the Knight Academy would at least teach basic recipes, so he can handle himself on his own. It’s just not especially flavorful compared to Wild’s cooking. Also pumpkin stew. If he can he will make pumpkin stew.

Warriors - also was taught how to cook because he’s a Knight, but is still a danger in the kitchen. He makes some pretty infamous gruel. It’s really bad. Keep him out of the kitchen. He lost his taste buds during the War of Eras

Time - he theoretically can cook it’s just that he makes too much of a mess when doing it. He will drop everything, spill anything, and end up covered in ingredients despite actively trying to be clean. Time makes dinner time look like a bomb went off and it’s so much of a hassle to clean and honestly a bit of a waste, especially only for bad to mediocre meals at best. He can survive when Malon’s not home, but is his food good? No. No it’s not. As a kid he was hopeless. Luckily the puppy dog eyes worked like a charm as a kid. When he got older Talon eventually sat him down and taught him how to cook basic meals. Malon’s taught him a little too, but again. He just makes a mess

Hyrule - cannot cook. Was never taught and can’t teach himself since he was never taught to read. But he does know how to find edible food on the road. He’s a really good forager and that’s how he sustained himself on his journeys

Wind - can cook some things. Granny’s been teaching him how to cook. He knows Granny’s soup recipe but he insists he can never make it right so he never actually makes it. He can cook basic fish dishes but doesn’t have an arsenal of recipes. Usually it was down to whatever he could find for cheap in a store or fish himself during his adventures. I feel like Tetra’s ship has a cook so he doesn’t need to worry about food anymore. If he had the choice, though, he would live off Granny’s soup and nothing else

Four - Can cook. Probably the most reliable cook after Wild. He can make some fancy and genuinely good dishes. He just doesn’t particularly like the stress of cooking. Red’s always worried no one’s going to like it, Green wants to experiment, Vio wants to follow the recipe to a T, and Blue just wants everyone to shut up. I feel like during his journeys he used his age, and then his height, to his advantage to get free food whenever he could. I like to think he would help his grandpa cook whenever he could as a kid and thus actually learned how to cook

Legend - Can cook, but only in a kitchen. He never managed to get the hang of cooking over an open fire. Though while he can cook, I feel like he has a special preference for baking since his uncle would make apple tarts with him when he was little. During his earlier adventures, someone would usually cook for him (except for his first, he’d usually have to steal to get by) since he was still pretty young, but he slowly learned to cook over the course of his adventures. He learned a lot on Koholint specifically, so he knows a lot of seafood dishes though he doesn’t usually make those

[luwathegreat]

While I do enjoy the theory/headcanon of Crowley not eating because he was cursed for his food to turn to dust/taste like dust (that's a theory people have right- I'm not imagining it?) I feel like it's a bit simpler.

I feel like for Crowley it's just too much of a hassle really. Like he doesn't hate it and he'll try food if it looks interesting. But I feel like for him it's as interesting or satisfying as waiting for your dentist with that thingy holding your mouth open. It just isn't all that fun for him. For various reasons.

(Aka: My Headcanon as to why Crowley doesn't like food + foods I feel like he enioys)

1. Tongues and Teeth

- I feel like Crowley probably ended up constantly biting his tongue whenever he did eat. Not even little bites either. Those deep bites you can feel in your ear.

- I also think he must've been annoyed with food stuck in his teeth

- I feel as though he also just doesn't like the way certain foods leave a film over your tongue and/or teeth

2. Temperatures and Food Safety

- Many foods that are only safe to eat hot, Crowley like best cold or/raw

- Many foods that would be ruined if heated up, he likes them best hot

- And I'm sure there's at least two inedible (to humans) things that he'd love to have cooked in with an edible good item

- None of these things would kill Crowley. But Crowley doesn't cook. And there are very few chefs in the world who'll make you "Boiled ice cream" or "Egg yolk cereal" or "Lomein Noodles with General Tso Erasers"

3. Textures

- Textures are too unexpected for him cause he has a hard time guessing what they could be just by looking at them

- He doesn't like one texture randomly interrupting the one he's already gotten used to- especially when it's not meant to be there. So say he's eating chicken and there's suddenly a crunch

4. Chewing

- He finds chewing boring

- He feels like it makes eating a task

- I feel like once he decided to just swallow foods instead of chewing them. And food certain things it worked

- He would take the food, let it rest on his tongue. Maybe swish it around his mouth, and then swallow

- But I feel like he did in fact choke and it was the most embarrassing discorporation hell had seen for YEARS

- "What's the point of the stupid digestive system if you've gotta chew whatever goes through it first?!" He had grumbled "The esoph..sofo...sif...FOOD TUBE THING shouldn't be subjected to the sloppy seconds of bloody mouth bones!"

For foods Crowley likes, I believe they've got to be prepared by the same chef the exact same way it was when he first had it and he always uses minor miracles to ensure it happens. It was always a shame when a good chef passed away. And if that chefs family ended up inheriting a large sum of money from a mysterious person with red hair and dark glasses at the funeral- don't look at Crowley. Why would he know anything about that.

Foods I think Crowley might enjoy:

- Smoothies! I feel he had a smoothie phase at one point

- Cut up fruits

- Soups

- Deboned Raw Fish

- Spicy Noodles

- Rice

- Boiled Ice Cream

- Seaweed

- Whatever foods Aziraphale cooks (whenever Aziraphale remembers he can cook that is). He often wonders if Aziraphale puts miracles on his food or if the angel is really just that good at knowing what Crowley might like.

On the topic of Aziraphale: He LOVES watching Aziraphale eat. Well not LOVES...more like...it fascinates him. For three reasons

1) Eating is one of the few times Aziraphale is properly at ease and allows himself to selfishly enjoy something without worrying about what heaven might say. Seeing the Angel indulge (so much so that he makes sounds and does little wiggles) puts Crowley at ease. Knowing it was him that introduced him to it makes his heart swell.

2) He's a little self conscious as to how he's so particular about foods (there's no need to be Crowley! You're not alone). So he kind of watches and waits to see if there's anything special Aziraphale is doing that makes him enjoy food so much. Or maybe there's at least one food out there the Angel doesn't like

3) Wouldn't you like to know? (Iykyk)

I didn't mean to type this much...

...Whoops

[broomsick]

Personal ideas for simple devotional acts to Njörðr

Let us all praise the Lord of Ships, the Vanir King. He is the bestower of wealth and the guardian of seas, and his gifts are many! If you’re looking to start working with Njörðr, or worshipping him, these ideas make for quick and simple gestures that showcase your interest. They’re also perfect for a pagan who already maintains a close relationship with the sea, water spirits, or a sea deity. After all, spiritual practice gets hard to sustain when you’re working on a tight schedule! Which is why I hope these little personal ideas can inspire even those of you who already actively worship/work with Njörðr. 

First things first: pondering on what Njörðr stands for, what you think he can bring your life and what you think he would appreciate in return. 

Going for walks on windy days. Njörðr is said to raise winds that are favorable to sailboats! 

Cooking and eating sea products, especially if you can find them fresh! I usually keep an eye out for fishermen’s markets. It’s a good idea to buy locally if the opportunity presents itself. The most important thing is to make sure you’re buying from sustainable fish farming companies, especially if you’re at a restaurant or buying from a grocery store.

Putting the sound of waves as background music before sleep. You can visualize the sea, or the ocean, and use this image to connect with Njörðr either by simply meditating on him and his gifts, or even by praying to him.

If possible, spending time near bodies of water: water is a network which connects the land to the ocean. In the end, all rivers, no matter how small, are bound to the ocean. 

Watching documentaries on the sea, or on marine life! The simple gesture of learning about his domain, developing your understanding of it, can make you feel that much closer to the Father of Light-Bringers. 

Whenever you’re at a local beach, collecting seashells or rocks which catch your eye! They’re a way to bring a piece of the sea home with you! 

Since I cook a lot, there’s this little habit I’ve come to develop, of adding a pinch of sea salt (or fleur de sel) to every recipe. Of course, I won’t do this if I’m cooking a simple sandwich for myself: I’m talking about large pots of soup, meat pies, stews, etc. It’s a way of reminding myself that the Vanir bring about the fertility which allows us sustain ourselves. 

Learning sea shanties!!! Did you smile? That’s because sea shanties are fun, and what better way to honor a God than by having fun in their name! One of my favorite songs ever is a folk ballad about an old woman who begs her husband to leave the city and go back to the island where they used to live, where she could watch the seagulls and where he would fish their dinner. Songs such as these can make for beautiful and deeply personal offerings. Once you’ve learned a fisherman’s song, you’ll find yourself humming it in your day-to-day, and thinking of Njörðr as you’re doing so.

Making offerings of coin to him. I’ve heard that he was particularly fond of the coin-shaped chocolates that are wrapped in gold foil! Generally, anything that is made of gold or silver makes for a beautiful offering to him. You can, of course, keep such objects after offering them! The act of sharing them with Njörðr is symbolic, as are many offerings, and you are as entitled to keeping these valuables as you are to drinking offering alcohol after the ritual is done. Placing your silver/gold object on a windowsill or an altar for a day, a week or a month is enough to act as an offering.  

When it comes to the Vanir, you usually can’t go wrong with buying local products! What does your area specialize in, in terms of food? Now that summer’s at our door, we’ve reached the perfect time to look into local farmer’s markets. If, like me, you’re in the habit of offering alcohol to some or most of your deities, local draft beer is a great idea for Njörðr. In my area, grocery shops sometimes sell this one beer that’s made using salt water! It’s my go-to for Njörðr, understandably.

Acting generously, taking opportunities to share with others! It’s a way of honoring and embodying the Vanir King’s own benevolence.

As a follow-up, working on your ability to be compassionate: putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes, forgiving a wrong that has been done to you, finding compromise during a conflict with loved ones... If you are put in a position of leadership, lead others with care and attentiveness. Njörðr’s mythological son Freyr is heavily associated with peace. By protecting peace, you are honoring them both. 

Keeping a symbol of his on you as an amulet: representations of fish, anchors, lighthouses, ships, or anything else that symbolizes the sea all make for beautiful reminders of Njörðr’s presence. Especially if they are silver or gold-colored! In fact, a simple silver or gold coin, or even just a coin with special meaning in your heart, is the perfect amulet to keep in your wallet/purse in his honor. 

Learning to tie knots, or any other simple skill that is useful on a boat is fun and a great way to feel connected with the sea. This goes without saying but if you’ve got the chance to go for a boat ride, take it in his honor!

Asking him to grant you a safe journey before traveling long distances.

Art, Njörðr statue

[rokhal]

GR/RE7 AU fanfic: Weird Fungus

Referencing this piece of meta explaining @wazzappp's amazing All-New Ghost Rider/Resident Evil fusion AU, here is a little fic about Robbie and Gabe settling in to their little off-grid house where the BSAA stashed them after they survived Dulvey, Louisiana, and developed a cleaning compulsion (Robbie) and a sudden desire to wander away where no one can find him physically, audibly, or psychically (Gabe).

To set the scene, imagine some well-meaning BSAA agent sends Robbie this thing in their regular food delivery.

“I appreciate the gesture,” Robbie said, keeping his voice level and his eyes facing the camera of his BSAA-issued laptop, “but please don’t send us any more legs.”

The agent on the other end frizzled out into pixels and cocked her head on a two-second delay. “Legs? Oh, the, uh.” She tapped on her screen. “Jam-on serano? It’s supposed to be really good with wine.”

“Jamón, ham, the leg. With the foot, and the bones and, uh.” Robbie swallowed as he recalled opening the weekly food delivery and finding the top half of the box occupied by a skinned, cured-and-dried, but still massive animal limb, the thin flesh just below the toes still printed with rope marks. He could see the seams between every muscle. He could see its kneecap. At the opposite end, he could see the severed end of its thigh bone. “M-my brother has sensory issues. He doesn’t eat meat anymore. I won’t eat it in front of him.”

The BSAA agent made a note. “We can accommodate special dietary needs if you let us know. Is there anything specific you would prefer?”

Robbie fought the urge to tear at his hair. “Um. Tomato soup? Like, regular tomato soup, not gazpacho? Macaroni noodles. Some kind of cheese that doesn’t get all stringy as soon as it cools down. Frijoles, you know, normal refried beans? He likes those but not the ones that come swimming in the weird broth. Um, fish is okay—as long as it doesn’t have heads or bones in it. Potatoes are good. Eggs are good.”

“There’s some stores near the military base that cater to Americans,” the agent offered, and Robbie died a little inside. “I’ll see if we can order through there. How about vegetables?”

“His garden is growing really good. We’re good for vegetables.”

“Wow.” Robbie wondered if he’d said something wrong as the agent made another note. “Very nice, I’m glad you two are settling in.”

Not much of an option, being on house-arrest, Robbie thought. “Thanks.”

“Are you excited to start classes?”

Robbie knew this script, a back-and-forth he’d muddled through with a half-dozen social workers back in LA. “Very much. I value my education and I will complete my assignments independently and on time.”

She chuckled. Robbie wondered if he’d said something wrong. “You know, this is the real world, not high school. You can ask for help if you need it. Have you picked a major yet?”

The BSAA hadn’t asked before enrolling Robbie in the University of Barcelona’s undergraduate correspondence program, anymore than they’d asked Gabe before signing him up for remote learning with the local equivalent to middle school. “Pick?” he asked hesitantly.

“I think you’ve still got a few weeks to think about it, and you can always change majors, but, yeah, you might want to contact their guidance department if you’re not sure what courses to sign up for.” Now it was Robbie’s turn to make a note. “Chris will be over today, you can try asking him.”

“Oh.” Mr. Redfield’s visits were always on short notice, but Robbie usually had more than a matter of hours to mentally prepare himself. “Uh. We also need more bleach, please.”

“You just got two liters last month,” the agent said. “You know it’s bad for the septic system?”

Robbie kept his face blank, open. “It’s for cleaning. I’m not pouring it in the drains.”

“You know you’re supposed to dilute it?” the agent pressed him.

“One to ten,” Robbie recited, realizing as he said it that he’d managed to use about five gallons of disinfectant in a single month. He may have a problem. “I’m keeping the kitchen clean. The counters and the refrigerator. And both bathrooms. The grout. Under the lid for the cistern. Door handles.”

“Okay, okay.” Robbie winced; two okays was never okay. “I’ll send you more bleach. And some gloves.”

“Thank-you.”

“You sleeping alright?”

Loaded question. Robbie’s eyes flicked involuntarily to the BSAA-issued Alexa perched on a high shelf in the kitchen. “I’m sleeping.”

“Bad dreams?” The agent’s image pixelated again before stabilizing, and Robbie took advantage of the brief signal disruption to press his face hard into both palms. He could control himself during the day but of course their bugs heard it when he woke up screaming.

“Yeah.”

“You want to talk about it?”

Robbie doubted she would take no for an answer and doubted his own ability to prevaricate. He shrugged. “Louisiana. Dinner table with Momm—Mrs. Baker, and her husband and Eveline.” That was an odd feature of his recurring nightmares: he identified Mr. and Mrs. Baker in his thoughts as Mommy and Daddy, and his fear of them was twisted together with familiarity, even gratitude. “They had my body chopped up in pots.”

The agent made a sympathetic noise. “They tried to eat you?”

“Could be worse,” Robbie said, shrugging again. At least the people they ate didn’t turn into fanged piles of black sludge and stagger around their decaying home for eternity. “I think I’m just…” He glanced around the study: empty, except for the big table and the bookshelf full of Spanish novels that had proved embarrassingly challenging. “I’m, like—in my dreams I’m looking down at myself in the pot and Mm-Mrs. Baker tells me to eat up. I mean. They didn’t have any real food.” He crossed his arms and dug his nails into his own elbows, fighting vertigo. “It was all rotten. No cans left. The animals were all dead.”

“You’re worried about what your brother went through,” the agent said, and Robbie straightened.

“No.” He held his breath, grasping for some plausible argument. They killed dogs that ate people, didn’t they? The BSAA’s hold on their lives now was absolute. “They only had him a few months. I, I mean. It’s my dreams. Making things up.”

“Any problems with your medication? You have the list of side effects to watch for?”

“No.” It was a daily BSAA-issued pill. The first day on his antifungal, Robbie threw up black mold into the toilet until he passed out and slept for ten hours. Better out than in, he’d figured. The next day, and every day since, had been fine. “I mean, no side effects. We’re okay.” A bird warbled and piped from outside, loud and close. Robbie hadn’t left any windows open overnight. He straightened and turned, just as he heard the side door click shut. “Gabe?”

“Should we cut this short?” the agent asked, helpful for once, and Robbie nodded.

“I appreciate it. It’s probably nothing.” He ended the call and checked the dining room, where Gabe often read or watched laggy videos on his own BSAA-issued laptop, and Gabe’s room, where a cornucopia of superhero collectibles spilled from the bed to the floor and a faint (illusory, had to be) scent of mildew lingered despite Robbie’s vigorous daily whole-house cleaning schedule. “Gabe?” He must be outside. Robbie tried to calm himself. Just because Gabe had left the house, didn’t mean he was going to wander over the hills and disappear for two days. Again.

He stepped over the threshold, out from the hundred-year-old walls of his new home and into the alien wilderness: hot sun and rocky hills, no sound but the wind in his ears and birds chattering in the spicy-sweet desert shrubs. He squinted downhill, to the south: shrubs, cliffs, the Mediterranean sea glittering up at him. He peered west: shrubs, hills, the distant remains of a shattered stone fort and the faintly visible danger signs surrounding a radioactive ghost town. He checked north: shrubs, gravel driveway that carved switchbacks over the hills until it disappeared over the horizon, still no Gabe. Assuming that it had been Gabe shutting the door behind him and not the wind, he’d only left the house a few minutes ago; he couldn’t have run out of Robbie’s sight that fast. He might be crouched down to examine some plant or insect, or he might be hiding. (It was still so strange to see Gabe doing these things: running, climbing, hiding. The goddamn study had never even suggested their treatment would do anything for Gabe’s physical limitations, just save his life. When he’d first found Gabe in the Baker house, strong and agile and trying his best to stab him to death, he’d thought Gabe was literally possessed by a demon. The little girl’s mental influence was gone; the abilities she’d given Gabe remained.) He circled around to the east side of the house, reassuring himself that he could always run back inside and climb out onto the roof to get a bird’s eye view (Gabe could just crouch down below some fragrant desert bush and almost disappear), and then all the air rushed out of his lungs with a strange little wheeze when he saw Gabe hunched over and kicking something in the garden.

“Hey, Bud.” Gabe hated being snuck up on after Louisiana, and honestly, so did Robbie. (Gabe could sneak up on him now.) Robbie picked his way through the sprawling jungle of the vegetable garden: beans twining up gnarled bushes and driftwood stakes, tomato vines heavy with fruit stretched out over the sandy ground between lush bunches of lettuce, mellow paprika peppers blazing like Christmas lights from leafy stems. Most of Gabe’s plants, he’d started by planting left-over stems and seeds from their weekly meal prep shipment directly into the dirt with a handful of rotting food-scraps, and they never failed to sprout with a few days of watering. Robbie found himself happy to eat these home-grown vegetables; watching Gabe mulch and water them as they unfurled their leaves and their flowers set into fruit made them more trustworthy, somehow, than the bitter green things sold chopped up in bags at the grocery store. If he’d known growing his own food was this easy, he’d have dug up a roadside strip back in Los Angeles years ago.

Normally there were bees buzzing around the pepper and tomato blossoms, but Gabe’s kicking had scared them off. Robbie approached slowly as Gabe grabbed his digging stick. He hated the tingle of fear down his spine. He had to concentrate to keep from grabbing the scar on his left forearm, reminding himself as he so often did that Gabe was a physically normal kid now. Normal kids could be violent. It didn’t mean anything was wrong. It didn’t mean this wasn’t Gabe.

Gabe side-stepped to hide what he’d been kicking from Robbie, shoving dirt over it with his well-worn stick. Robbie still saw a flash of something red, fleshy. He swallowed. “What is that?”

Gabe dropped his stick and rubbed his face in the crook of his elbow, breath hitching. Robbie stepped closer and saw that the red meaty object was not, to his profound relief, an animal. He wasn’t sure what it was: narrow, spongy, bruised and moist from Gabe’s shoe, with dark gray parts and a tapering red stripe on each of its wedge-shaped segments, looking like a dog’s mouth or one of those bizarre tropical flowers that only blooms every hundred years. “Weird fungus,” Gabe managed.

Robbie knelt down to look at it. He’d never seen a wild mushroom before; he didn’t expect them to be so big, or to be shaped like an open mouth. The colors were a bit like the red and white mushrooms in cartoons, though. “Is it poisonous?”

Gabe shook his head. “It helps the vegetables,” he choked out. “But, I. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I’m sorry you got nightmares. I didn’t mean to.”

Robbie covered his mouth. This was his fault; he hadn’t checked that Gabe was in his room before his call with the BSAA agent. He had to get it through his head that Gabe could move quickly and quietly now, that this was their normal. “I’m so sorry you heard that,” he said. That wouldn’t undo that Gabe had heard that. “Buddy. Gabe.” He reached up for a hug, and Gabe hesitated, staring at his left arm. “That’s just a dream. That’s just my brain trying to make sense of things that make me unhappy, and I’m unhappy about what the Bakers and, and Eveline did to you. Not anything you did. Okay?” Gabe sniffled and rubbed his face again, and Robbie kept his arms open, waiting. “I’m so proud of you for making it out of there. For surviving. I’ll never blame you for anything you had to do to survive.”

Gabe stared down at the stomped remains of the mushroom. “I’m not creepy?”

“No, never. You’re my little bro,” Robbie assured him, and Gabe sat down and flung himself against Robbie’s side. “Why’d you kill the mushroom?”

“Cause it gave you my nightmares,” Gave mumbled. He must mean, nightmares about me, an accurate deduction that would make Dr. DaCosta back home intensely proud of his social reasoning skills, except that Robbie had never seen this mushroom before. Robbie figured that before Gabe smashed it, it must have been nightmarish to look at, in a Hot Topic sort of way. “It’s creepy.”

“I think it looks cool,” Robbie remarked. Spain was full of cool things, now that he had the time and safety to sit back and contemplate them: bugs. Seaweed and weird critters that washed up on the beach. Flowers. Birds that sang—he’d thought their reputation for “singing” was an exaggeration, but it turned out that birds actually do sing. An infinite carpet of stars stretching out overhead, pinks and blues and yellows and so many tiny white lights that the black night might as well have been splashed with foam. And now, huge mushrooms that looked like toothy mouths. “You said it helps the garden, right? I’m not scared of mushrooms that aren’t poisonous.”

“Sure you’re not,” Gabe muttered.

“I’m not scared of mushrooms outside the house,” Robbie qualified. “Will the vegetables be okay?”

Gabe looked up and bit his lip. “Maybe. If I water more. They can’t use the seawater.”

“I’ll calculate how much we can spare from the cistern without running low,” Robbie offered. “We can take shorter showers.”

“I’ll just grow another one.” Gabe poked at the fragments of mushroom with his shoe.

“You can do that?” Robbie had heard that mushrooms were easy to grow with a kit, but he’d never seen it done. He felt a swell of pride at the gardening knowledge Gabe had absorbed from his tablet so quickly.

“It’s really easy,” Gabe said. “But. You gotta tell me if you get my dreams again. Okay?”

“Okay.” Robbie hugged him tighter. “I won’t take your dreams.”

“I don’t think you can do that.” A bee circled overhead and landed on a bean flower. They watched as it nudged its whole head inside the petals, wings and legs fluttering industriously.

[silversmoke-20]

Hello, can I request headcanons for team rwby (or just blake and yang if that's too much) with an s/o that loves to cook and is pretty good at it? Sorry if this was not detailed enough.

Oh it's alright! I don't mind if it's detailed or not, just as long as it's simple for me to understand, Oh and I added in a special guest!

Team Rwby with a reader who loves to cooks

Ruby Rose

Ruby loves it when you cook, and the best part is that you bake cookies that she likes!

Ruby would try to steal and taste test, only for you to slap her hand away as she runs away with a few giggles trailing behind her.

You tell her that you can only make one jar of cookies for the week and if she eats it all in a day, then you won't make more until next week.

Ruby would definitely save as much of your baked sweets as she can to enjoy as long as she can.

Whenever you finish baking cookies, you her the ladel and the cookie dough bowel for her to eat.

Ruby would definitely Would try to bake your favourite sweets as a thank you.

Ruby shares her cookies and you should feel honoured cause Ruby never shares her cookies with anyone! That includes her family.

Ruby would hug you and watch you cook from behind you.

Ruby is basically your hype girl whenever you're cooking.

Weiss Schnee

Weiss enjoys your love for cooking and would oftentimes ask if she could help you cook.

Weiss obviously would hire you to be her personal cook.

She would basically buy you the finest ingredients on remnant.

She would challenge you to cook harder meals and you would gladly take those challenges.

She would no doubt say, "you are the best cook in remnant."

You once made a cake shaped like her emblem, and she loves it.

You ask Weiss if she likes to taste test and she would do it without a second thought.

Whenever she gets sick, it's hands on deck cause you are going to make her the most delicious soup she ever has.

Weiss would hire bodyguards to guard you when your cooking at her mansion cause she believes someone would assassinate you.

Weiss is basically the Type of girl who loves to watch you cook.

Blake Belladonna

She's banned from the kitchen.

She would try to help you whenever she can so she can steal a couple pieces of fish.

By couple I'm talking about the entire salmon fish and you can't with her shenanigans when trying to steal the fish.

You love cooking seafood dishes and Blake loves eating that.

So when she wanted you to meet her parents, she was happy they accepted you.

So when you ask Kali if you could help cook she happily obliges.

Only to be surprised as she points at her husband and daughter and say, "You two are still banned from the kitchen."

You have never laugh in your life as you told Kali that Blake is banned from the kitchen back home.

Blake's parents loved your cooking and wouldn't mind having you visit whenever you get the chance.

Blake is the type to steal food so be on guard.

Yang Xiao Long

This girl banned from the kitchen not because of her jokes.

You would bonk her head with teaspoon, ladel, and wooden spoon with a deadpan expression.

She would immediately run off if she notices you grab a jar of honey or anything that is sticky.

And Brothers her jokes are so annoying and yet they somehow made you laugh.

When you let Yang cooked well.....

Let's just say that kitchen was quarantine and gave you nightmares.

How can she set a glass of water on fire?! Cause a simple butter on bread to explode.

Yang is basically a terrible cook, but her terrible jokes makes you laugh.

Qrow Branwen

He is scared of his bad luck ruining your cooking.

Quite the opposite as his semblance somehow helps you cook much more effectively.

So when telling him this, he is so going to help you cook.

And you love it whenever he gets confused when you ask him to get the ingredient you need.

---------------------------------------------------

Y/n: "pass me the cheddar."

Qrow: "the what?"

Y/n: "The shredded cheese."

Qrow: "the what now?"

Y/n: "y'know the Shreddie cheedie."

Qrow: "oh that! Here you go."

Y/n: "Thanks bird brain~"

---------------------------------------------------

Whenever Qrow wakes up, he would walk up behind you and hug you and rest his head on your shoulder.

Qrow is basically the man who gets confused with food and comes up nicknames for it.

[sass-squat]

For the Avians you’ve already posted, what are their favorite foods?

AHHH! I'm sorry my friend! I swear I saw this ask the day you sent it I've just been slacking because I started a new file for BOTW. 😅 Anyways! All their favorite foods are all the recipes you can make in BOTW because Wild is the one that mainly makes their food and also because it's easier that way.

Time - Warm Milk Meaty Rice Balls. "The sweet and spicy meat stuffed into these rice balls will keep you full for some time." Time to me just seems like the kind of guy that enjoys food that he can eat with one hand. That on top of the practical element that this food keeps you full for some time just seems like something he would enjoy and prefer to eat while on the road.

Twilight - Pumpkin Stew. "Simply simmer a fortified pumpkin to make this dish. A favorite in Kakariko Village." This man canonically made pumpkin stew in his adventure so this is his favorite food mainly because it reminds him of home and also because it's one of the only foods he is actually able to cook.

Sky - Salmon Risotto. "Restores your health and temporarily increases your maximum hearts. The rice used in this rich risotto permeates the light flavor of the salmon." I don't even have a solid explanation or reason for this one I just feel it in my soul that Sky loves seafood. Turns out there's not a lot of fish when you live in the sky.

Warriors - Carrot Cake. "Even those who don't like carrots tend to enjoy the mild sweetness of this cake." Ironically, I don't think this is Warriors' favorite food because of taste, but more because of the memories he associates it with. I'm a huge supporter of the "Warriors is a Momma's boy" agenda and I headcanon that his mom made carrot cake for his birthday every year when he was young and that's why he still loves it to this day.

Legend - Apple Pie. "The crispy, flaky pie crust and sweet apples are a match made in heaven." Listen, I know the Zelda manga aren't technically canon but neither is this Winged AU so I can believe what I want in my heart. Anyways, in the A Link to the Past manga his whole goal is for his apple orchard to succeed so I'm a firm believer that Legend LOVES anything with apples, but apple pie holds a secret special place in his heart.

Hyrule - Monster Cake Creamy Heart Soup. "Enjoying this sweet soup with another person will bring you both closer together." Hyrule is such a sweetheart with so much love to give you cannot convince me that his favorite food wouldn't be the creamy heart soup. Also the fact that hearty radishes are one of the best ingredients to replenish hearts fits with his whole fairy/healing agenda.

Wild - Wildberry Crepe. "Sweet, tart wildberries are folded into thin, springy dough to make this dessert." Aside from literal rocks, I just feel like this would be his favorite "treat yourself" comfort food. Other than that, I don't really have solid reasoning for this choice other than the fact that I think he deserves to have nice things and also because this is my favorite thing to make in BOTW.

Four - Curry Rice. "A favorite all over Hyrule, this simple dish has a flavor you just won't get tired of." I headcanon that Four is a pretty easy guy to please when it comes to food. He's basically four racoons in a trench coat so it's pretty easy to guarantee that SOME PART of him will like whatever he is eating, though he does tend to favor slightly spicier foods.

Wind - Seafood Meuniere. "Rich butter flanks fresh seafood. The secret ingredient is lots and lots of love." Now go ahead and try to tell me that that description is not something his Grandma would say. Try it I dare you lol. Anyways that phrase combined with the fact that it is a seafood dish just SCREAMS Wind to me.

Anyways, these are all just my personal headcanons! Let me know if you all had any other ideas or headcanons in mind! 😊

[blogofloathing]

Parts 1 of 1, Gillian B And The Unruly Interviewee

After a less than polished bus ride we arrived to the equally less than polished slums of Porkham,

I'd say it looked better in my day, except I wouldn't know, I grew up in a more respectable area.

Adjusting my trusty driving cap, spiffy bow tie, and affirming these good looks with my crew.

we set off, according to my media guy fishing is popular this time of year, so why not cash in?

Being careful to avoid nails and trash (human or otherwise) on our meandering way to the bridge,

wherein todays interviewee was apparently living.

In my opinion he should just get a job and maybe contribute to society? But that's not "kind" or "empathetic" according to my trusty cameramen.

Stepping into the clearing we see exactly what I had feared, I was hoping we had bad intel.

Yet lo and behold, a stubble ridden homeless sat adjacent to us, probably high out of his mind.

"Mm.. oh! Hey! Yall are here for the interview?" He shouted over to us, well, to say he raised his voice would be a lie, but that was certainly the intent.

Our cameras focused shakily on the dirty hobo we have unfortunately decided to question today.

My mic man stood just a bit too close, so that every word spoken slightly blasted the audio.

I'm sure someone can make it sound good later,

"we are go in 3, 2.." holding up one finger for the last call, before miming an inaudible "go".

And giving our cameras the signal to proceed, they ask him the first of many questions.

"Mm'well when you're fishing in sketchy spots ya gotta specialize" he mumbled, gesturing to the tackle box, though it's more of a tackle lunch box

The camera zooms in as he pulls out a wriggling gummy worm, sugar dusting its exterior.

Christ how on earth is that thing moving, "mm them gummy worms grow near rivers"

"Makes em self supplyin" he walks us through, as our whole team takes a step or two back.

"Mm I think somea them barbecue fellas put somethin in the water over there.."

Glancing over to the stream, which looked more like a pot of soup full of garbage than a river.

Maybe interviewing this gross hobo was a mistake. Certainly I'll be taking a bath after this,

But for the sake of journalism, we let him go on

"Makes so they're good for catchin them colorful fishies, f'miliar sight for em" indeed the worm was bedazzled in a rainbow of striped colors

Enough to make my head hurt just looking at it.

Though none of my crew has ever heard of any kinda rainbow fish, probably some new drug the homeless are taking, and we wonder why the city is trying to stamp out these kinds of people!

"Mm'infact I got onea them on my line right now,"

our cameraman panning quickly over to the hobos fishing pole, propped up against some rocks.

The line was limp for the time being, that is to say if it would ever actually be pulled by something other than garbage, (excluding the man himself.)

Christ thank god we're not live right now, we can have whatever-his-name-is edit that out later

"Mm, oh! An' here's some more from my stash" he pipes up with subdued surprise, a fuzzy worm covered in spines was crawling up his arm, "they're s'posed to be poisonous but I f'gure you let em do what they do, they go fine"

"These are good for catchin them walkin fishies, mm'paralyzes their muscles," he explained, flexing his fingers loosely before constricting them tightly

Then sighing with a noticeably disappointed tone, "people are way too hesitant 'bout fish legs, I tell em they're just like frog legs, but I guess they don't much like those neither.."

Personally I can't see a world where I or anyone on my team eats that, but of course let's remember they're not like you and me.

"ahh here's one'a my favorites," he grunts, pulling out a large bag full of sickly bright red worms.

"Onea them groups of chemical guys dyed some kids hair in the river and plumb contaminated this whole bag," shaking them in our face

And sure enough there could be faint spots of pink vaguely seen under the thick scarlet glaze.

"Mm'but whatever's in em makes the fishies go all crazy," he explains, shaking his hands wildly in the air to demonstrate this apparent frenzy.

"They dye your tongue red for a good while when ya eat em though, mm'sooo if that ain't your style I can't sell ya on em" placing it back down where it immediately stained the ground scarlet.

I'm forced at this point to give my team a glare of disapproval, some of them seeming far too genuinely interested in what this hobo had to say.

They look sheepish for a moment at my face, but then continue looking past me at him.

Really I don't see what use there is in listening to stuff like this, I'm only here for content.

"Mm'I don't know how I hook thesen's but I do an' they fetch pretty good" he mumbles tacitly.

Holding up what appeared to be a pile of loose integers in vaguely the shape of a squiggly line.

Wriggling and moving in a way that didn't account for any sort of connections or reason.

My whole team taken aback at once says "what on earth??" quietly in united confusion. Before then looking at each other in mirrored disbelief.

despite having no possible way to crawl the way it does, making a gentle journey along his arm.

Coming to a rest at his shoulder where he picks it up, somehow, "mm'I expect this's due to runoff from the math guys dumpin their old equations in the water" expecting us to understand any of that.

"But them educated fishies really love em, maybe they're tryna solve em or somethin" he says with a reverent little chuckle, though it's more of a cough.

The unsightly man continues excitedly showing us various worms, giving exaggerated and showy gestures for each presentation.

As if his hands are the actual ones being asked.

"Don't even get me started on them spider worms! Haha, mm'just kiddin, please do"

I'm positively sick with boredom but I have been forced by my team not to leave.

Until thankfully, salvation arrives at last when he appears to reach the end of his last show & tell.

Putting various worms(?) Back into containers, and a quick check to the continuously light line.

"Well thank yall kindly for- Vic! Vic get on over here I'm gonna be on the television!" He shouted suddenly, eyeing an unseen figure behind us.

My heart sank sickeningly, he was right about to bid us a good day, we were so damn close! And..

A possibly even dustier hobo, girl? Waltzes over to us, Jesus Christ it just keeps getting worse.

"Yo! Walt! You're famous eh? Gettin the big bucks?" the two laugh heartily, "see I told ya you're fishin would take off you old sot" she teased loudly.

They chit chat for a beat, with me continuing to shuffle backwards, much to my crews chagrin.

I'm silently begging my cameras to let me leave with my wallet intact before it catches sight of me

The urgent tugs at my boom operators sleeve going unnoticed save for a bemused look.

"Hey! Wanna ask me some stuff! Give me some free stuff?" She bursts into my world unwelcome.

Seemingly moved on from the dirty man, onto me.

For a moment I try to pretend as if not having noticed her, but fate did not hold the cards for me.

"Cmonnnn I know you're one of them big shots you got cash" her bushy eyebrows turned at an almost impossible angle, no wonder she looked mannish.

Signing didn't seem to work, as expected with the uneducated, but even my perfectly clear refusal to answer was left disregarded by this girl.

"Psh, figures you uppercrusts think you're too good to talk to me" she sneered derisively.

I tentatively waved to one of my crewman, whom seemed wholly preoccupied with the fisherman,

The shows over! What is there to talk about? My pleas yielded no results, I was fully on my own.

"What's with ya? You talk?" Her intense eyes bore holes into my own, attempting to take a look behind them in a quite uninvited intrusion.

Ugh these types are always so pushy, I swear I don't know why I agreed to do this.

As she pressed her face more closely to mine I could feel her gross, warm breath

Like the smog of a smokestack, clinging to my skin and hair in a sickeningly sticky way

"Hellooooo is anybody home Mr Rich?" Her words poked, knocking the glass of a terrarium to make me dance, managing only to startle me further

My discomfort is reaching its peak and I'm nearly made to give the emergency sign to my crew,

When the hobo girl reaches her hand out to touch me again, my skin prickling in irid anticipation.

And Inexplicable even to myself, a tear sparkled dully in my eyes, which were presently pressed together, as if I'd disappear if I couldn't see her.

This would surely be the end of my career, she would know.. I could feel everyone's eyes on me

And indeed the look on her face told me the gears were turning, some remnant of social awareness ticked around echoey in her hollow dome.

Gillian Barlows A Sissy surely what the headline would read, they'd be right, and that would be it.

These newspaper ghosts flapped hauntingly in my head like a flock of my worst anxieties.

Of circling vultures primed to take a strike at me any moment, the wilting journey of my egos end.

Before my cameraman, who must have finally noticed my situation, stepped between us.

Reforming the barrier I had been trying to keep hold of, that this girl had ripped it up.

"I'm sorry ma'am but you're gonna have to step back" a stern but not unkind order, his voice soothingly final, as if he was just stating the facts.

Equally putting to rest my growing discontent, "eh? Awww cmon you interviewed Wal-" she started, wildly gesturing In the other hobos direction.

"Ma'am we have a very concise schedule, and please refrain from touching our host." He retorted firmly, the rest of my crew standing nearby as well.

His hand nested on my shoulder as he said it

The lot of them were towers of men, acting as body guard and camera crew in unison

Pillars of my kingdom who kept the gates guarded

Standing (in no uncertain terms) a harsh contrast to my otherwise quite stubby figure.

We shared a quick look, his half smirk telling me don't worry, I've got you, as he continued the contentious chat with this random girl.

"Well- ugh fine! Take your chintzy camera cats somewhere else!" She expleted, giving our cameras a rude hand gesture before storming off.

"I'm too good for your lil TV shit anyway, hacks!"

Kicking a can into the lake that had been in her way, though I didn't hear the sound it made.

My ears were still plugged shut by the awful dripping fear that enveloped me at the ordeal,

I couldn't let someone see me like that, least of all someone like her, this was a mistake.

Breathing growing heavier, and knees weaker, the weight of this pressure primed to knock me over.

This is stupid, getting so worked up over someone like her, but despite all principles, the gnawing feeling in my gut was unwilling to accept reality.

I felt floaty and tingly, like I was on the brink of a faint, of losing my balance completely and falling..

Right into the strong arms of my cameraman, who had already set the camera down a ways away.

"Were you still rolling? Did you get it?" I whispered in a strained voice, almost inaudibly.

He shushed me, carrying me over to the rest of my crew, setting me down easy next to them.

I felt so comfortable being held by him, like he always knew exactly where he was going.

"Hey boss! We's were talking to the fisherman, and he gave us some fish on the house!"

My mic operator excitedly informed me, holding up a shockingly good looking salmon.

The man had been teaching us how to identify a real good salmon and well, there it is

Its tail fins were pronounced without being floppy, and the scales shone like glass or crystal.

My expression evidently spoke volumes how did he catch that "guess he had some right ideas"

Smirked my mic man, inviting an exaggerated eye roll from me, though I couldn't help but agree.

"Anywho! Let's get a move on Gill!" he sprang matter o factly, also springing me onto my feet.

"here G" my other cameraman said, his chill demeanor contrasting so that it made me giggle.

Waving to the whole crew, who all took me up into their arms in turn, lifting me almost effortlessly.

Linking together to create a proper seat for me to rest in, even if I did feel a little silly.

A mobile throne of sorts, to lead the charge.

"What say we all go for drinks?" My mic man suggested, looking around at the rest of us.

Who all nodded in approval "then let us go!" My cameraman said resolutely,

I signed a clumsy "but what about the interview?"

"we can edit the footage later" he spoke directly to me "let's go have some fun"

These affirmations, bringing back to life a smile, informing my unending confidence around them.

I didn't say anything, but I pointed forward in a mock gesture of commencement.

Each member of my crew pointing in turn, as I lead the group, captain at the helm.

Maybe they were right, I could use a bit of a wind down more often to cool the nerves.

As long as it means more time spent with these idiots, I could see.. some time off.

"To TV! To Drinks! To Gillian!!" The whole gaggle chanted, yelling my name with especial vigor.

[sincerexsiren]

"I've helped coordinate a feast tonight. There's many different dishes and I've tasted them all. I hope it's to your liking."

Ulysses, despite his reservations about heroes, took great care in preparing a sumptuous feast for Trinity and the other heroes in her sanctuary. He wanted to show his support for her and make the occasion truly special. Knowing that Trinity had a deep connection to the river, Ulysses incorporated elements of water and nature into the feast.

Here's a sampling of what he prepared:

Riverbank Salad: A refreshing mix of crisp greens, adorned with edible flowers and drizzled with a tangy citrus dressing. The salad was garnished with delicate watercress, representing Trinity's affinity for riverside foliage.

Poseidon's Catch: A platter of freshly caught seafood, including succulent grilled fish, buttery lobster tails, and plump shrimp. Ulysses took care to infuse the seafood with a hint of herbs and citrus, giving it a delightful flavor.

Enchanted Spring Soup: A velvety soup made with seasonal vegetables, infused with the essence of a mystical spring. Ulysses added herbs and spices known for their healing properties, creating a nourishing and comforting dish.

Harborside Roast: A centerpiece of the feast, Ulysses prepared a tender, slow-roasted prime rib, cooked to perfection. He seasoned it with a blend of aromatic herbs and served it with a rich demi-glace.

Nymph's Delight: For dessert, Ulysses crafted a masterpiece of sweetness. It consisted of delicate pastry shells filled with a light, fluffy cream infused with hints of vanilla and the subtle essence of wild berries. The dessert was adorned with edible flowers and drizzled with a delicate honey syrup.

Trinity knew that Ulysses had a hard time with the fact that she had to help everyone who came to the sanctuary- at least she knew that he was worried. Which was fair considering she worried about him when he was out in the world too. It was hard on them both though perhaps she didn't understand his worry about the people as much. She didn't see heroes and villains or heroes and monsters in the same way because here those labels meant nothing to her.

But He- well he knew what happened outside of the invisible walls of this place. And she knew that made it more difficult for him even if she didn't fully understand why he was so worried about specific heros sometimes.

That's why she was so surprised to come in and see the spread across the table. Not just for her but for everyone. A sort of peace offering but so much more thought out. Her eyes widened as she moved around the table, taking in the well-thought-out beautiful dishes that he had clearly put a lot of mental and emotional energy into. Her Long fingers dragged across the table with a little smile as she took in everything from the lovely salad all the way to the mouth-watering desert.

This was the big bad warlock they all feared. The boogy man of the sea. She saw the way they flinched sometimes when he stood behind her but here he was, making them all a feast worthy of a king. Her eyes finally lifted to meet his with a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "My love....you didn't have to do this Darling. You have nothing to prove." She dipped her pinky finger into the honey syrup leaking from the side of the pasty, eyes closing in delight as she sucked it off.

[princessmacedon]

Maria von Medon, a noble specializing in Faith magic and a student of the Blue Lions. This unit values connecting with others. Try recruiting her again when you've formed more bonds? (RECRUITMENT REQUIREMENTS: have at least three B supports.)

PERSONAL INFORMATION

GENDER. female AGE. 15 -> 17 HEIGHT. 5'2" BIRTHDATE. April 5th CREST / HOLY BLOOD. n/a CLASS. Blue Lions student AFFILIATION. Macedon, and later the United Kingdom of Archanea BIOGRAPHY. The youngest princess of the former Kingdom of Macedon, now part of the Archanean Alliance. She holds great curiosity toward the world and all its sights, but most importantly, she loves to meet and befriend others. Came to Fódlan to improve her preexisting skills, learn new ones, and become overall more capable; secretly, she hoped to find her brother again as well.

PERSONAL HISTORY

Year 594 - Princess Maria of Macedon is born, the youngest of three.

Year 598 - King Osmond of Macedon is assassinated, and Michalis succeeds the throne.

Year 600 - Michalis asks Maria to become a hostage to Dohlr; Maria, wanting to protect the people of Macedon and make her brother happy, complies.

Year 604 - Maria is freed from Castle Deil by Prince Marth of Altea and his army, thereafter joining him alongside Minerva in the War of Shadows. Following Michalis' defeat, she watches over him in Macedon's aery until he recovers.

Year 607 - Maria is kidnapped by Gharnef while studying magic in Khadein. Later the following year, Prince Marth and his army defeat Medeus and free the captured clerics, Maria among them. She and Minerva stay with Lena at her convent, caring for orphans.

Year 609 - Maria resumes her studies and departs for Fódlan.

INTERESTS. learning new things, exploring, spending time with others LIKES. spending time with loved ones & making friends; making things (like sweet little treats!) (...AKA baking, sewing, embroidering, etc); wyverns, pegasi, and the sky; reading stories and poetry; flowers. DISLIKES. being helpless or a burden on others; eating alone; pitch darkness; so-called 'humor' that relies on tearing people down; arguments, especially those of her siblings. CLOSE ALLIES. Michalis, Minerva, Marth, Tiki ; Soren, Yuri, Chad, Roy (dropped but not forgotten) STATUS. the last princess of Macedon, but one of its first daughters to see a united Archanea

DINING HALL PREFERENCES

LIKES. ( saghert and cream, fish and bean soup, vegetable pasta salad, onion gratin soup, sweet and salty whitefish sauté, sweet bun trio, garreg mach meat pie, pheasant roast with berry sauce, peach sorbet, vegetable stir-fry, derdriu-style fried pheasant ) -- the simple act of sharing a meal with Maria is guaranteed to raise your friendship with her, but these dishes give the biggest boosts

DISLIKES. ( cabbage and herring stew ) -- there's no penalty for making her eat this (and other markedly bitter foods), but the friendship gain is comically low

DINING HALL NOTES

FAVORITE DISH.

"Oh! This one's really yummy, hee hee. Want to try a bite?"

LEAST FAVORITE DISH.

"...Huh? Oh, no, don't worry! This time I'll beat the bitterness for sure, hee hee."

EATING SPICY DISH.

"Ooh-- wah-- hot, hot, hot! Hee hee... I'm-- still not so good with-- ooh, with spicy food. But it's so good...!"

WITH MICHALIS.

"Isn't it yummy, Brother? If you like it, I'll try to learn how to make it. Let's have a picnic later!"

WITH MINERVA.

"What do you think, Sister? Yummy, right? Hee hee! Maybe we should take the recipe back to Miss Lena one day!"

WITH ROY.

"Well, I-- hee hee-- I mean-- heeheehee-- I think it was a perfectly tasty pizza!"

WITH KENT.

"Do you have any room for dessert, Ser? I made some thumbprint cookies yesterday! With elderberry jam, heeheehee."

TEATIME GUIDE

FAVORITE TEAS. sweet-apple tea, albinean berry blend, crescent-moon tea, chamomile

CONVERSATION TOPICS. a dinner invitation. a place you'd like to visit. a word of advice. books you've read recently. cats. children at the market. cooking mishaps. exploring the monastery. favorite sweets. first crushes. gardening mishaps. gifts you'd like to receive. heart-racing memories. likable allies. monastery mysteries. our first meeting. overcoming weaknesses. shareable snacks. someone you look up to. tell me about yourself. thanks for everything. the view from the bridge. things that bother you. working together. how you're doing lately.

TEATIME QUOTES

GREETING.

"I'm here! And I brought some desserts with me, too!"

"Hee hee, thank you for the invitation. I'm so happy to spend time with you like this!"

"Oh! I guess we both got here early, huh? Hee hee! I was just so excited!"

FAVORITE TEA.

"Mmm... This is one of my favorites! I'm so glad you like it too!"

FIVE STAR TEA.

"Oh! This tea... hee hee, thank you. I'll make sure to enjoy it with all my heart!"

BEING OBSERVED.

"Oh! What? What is it?"

"[gasp] Do I have crumbs on my face?"

"Is there something on your mind? You can tell me, if you want."

QUIPS.

"Hee hee!"

"A pretty blue sky..."

"Mm! Tasty!"

"I wonder if (he/she/they)'d like this flavor, too..."

"Really?"

"Wow...!"

"♫Hm hm hm!♫"

"Yeah!"

"Oh! And then? What happened next!"

"It's warm..."

ENDING.

"Hee hee, I had lots of fun today! Let's do this again sometime -- I'll make your favorites! That's a promise!"

FINAL COMMENTS.

(1) "What are your favorite teas? Your favorite snacks? ...Am I going to bring you some? Hee hee! That's a secret!" ANSWER: Chat, Laugh

(2) "When I was reeeaally little, I used to ask my brother and sister to play with me. I'd make them tea, and... heeheehee! Well, I've gotten a lot better at it since then!" ANSWER: Laugh, Sip Tea

(3) "My brother and sister are my favorite people in the whole wide world, but they can be so silly sometimes! But you know what? I'm going to be even more stubborn than both of them, hee hee." ANSWER: Commend, Sip Tea

(4) "I haven't seen a whole lot of the world so far, but I think it must be very pretty." ANSWER: Nod, Disagree, Chat

(5) "There's something really happy about sharing food together, don't you think?" ANSWER: Nod, Sip Tea

(6) "I've always believed that there are lots of different ways to be strong, and to protect someone. Still... Sometimes it would be nice to be strong like my siblings are." ANSWER: Sigh, Nod, Chat

MISCELLANEOUS DIALOGUE.

GIFT GUIDE

LIKED GIFT: Floral Adornment, Tasty Baked Treat, Gemstone Beads, Armored Bear Stuffy, Watering Can, Tea Leaves, Stylish Hair Clip, Legends of Chivalry, Ancient Coin, any flowers DISLIKED GIFT: Training Weight, Hunting Dagger, Ceremonial Sword

DISLIKED GIFT.

"Hmm... Hee hee! Thank you for thinking of me."

LIKED GIFT.

"Hee hee, thank you! I'm really happy!"

FAVORITE GIFT.

"Wow...! Is this for me? Really? Oh, I love it! Thank you so much!"

LOST ITEMS.

TIMEWORN JOURNAL: A well-kept if obviously aged journal, its entries date back many years and are addressed not to itself, but to a person. There are many crude but lovingly rendered drawings within. It probably belongs to someone who's been looking for someone for a very long time. LOCATION: Courtyard

UNFINISHED HANDKERCHIEF: A lovely square of fabric decorated with what seems to be the beginnings of an embroidery project. Looks like... (apple trees/wisteria/sunflowers)? It probably belongs to someone who likes making gifts for others. LOCATION: Blue Lions Classroom

FOREIGN PENDANT: A subtle-yet-elegant pendant of foreign make. Its quality suggests a high degree of nobility; there is a small emblem of a wyvern on the back of it. It probably belongs to someone sentimental. LOCATION: Cathedral

OWNER.

"Oh! This is mine -- I've been looking for it everywhere! Thank you so much!"

NOT OWNER.

"Hmm... This isn't mine, but maybe... have you asked (name)?" *has an increased chance of suggesting the right person the higher her support rank with the item's owner.

MONASTERY QUOTES.

CHOIR PRACTICE.

"The songs of Fódlan are so different from Archanea. It's really neat!"

"Hm hm hm...♫ Hee hee! Isn't singing fun?"

COOKING.

"It looks so yummy! Do you want to share this together when we're done?"

"Are you nervous? Hee hee, don't worry! I used to help out a lot with cooking at the convent -- I'll help you out!"

"Aah, wait, wait! Not the-- ...hee hee... hahaha! Well, that's okay, too! We'll figure something out."

TUTORING.

INSTRUCT.

BAD.

"...Mmm... How do I..."

CRITIQUE: "I see... I should look at it like that, and... Oh! I think I'm starting to get it!" CONSOLE: "Hee hee... thank you. I'll try even harder next time!"

GREAT.

"I always do my best!"

"I'm getting better, step by step!"

PERFECT.

"I did it! Do you think my siblings would be proud of me?" PRAISE: "...! Hee hee... Thank you. That means so much to me."

TASKS.

STABLE DUTY.

"Horses have such cute, soft noses! Maybe I should ask if I can feed Helena an apple later..."

WEEDING.

"There's a right place for everything -- we just have to find it!"

SKY WATCH.

"Now it's my turn to touch the sky... Hee hee, come on! It's such a pretty day -- let's go!"

CERTIFICATION EXAMS.

FAILED.

"Hmm... alright! I'll study more, and try even harder next time!

PASSED.

"Yay! I did it! Just one more step toward being strong like my siblings!"

LEVEL UP.

0 TO 2 STATS UP.

"I have to try even harder..."

3 TO 4 STATS UP.

"I'll get there eventually!"

5 STATS UP.

"I'm just following the example they set!"

6 STATS UP.

"Hee hee... Maybe one day, I'll catch up to them! Do you think they'll be surprised?"

UPON REACHING LEVEL 99.

"Next time, I'll protect them, too."

UPDATE GOALS.

FAITH.

"Did you know? In Archanea, you have to use staves and tomes to use magic, but in Fódlan you don't need any of that! I don't know if I can bring that kind of magic back home, but if I can help even without a staff, then it's worth a try, isn't it? Trying to keep up with both of them gets a little tough sometimes, though!"

AXE + FLYING.

"My home, Macedon, was known for its wyvern knights -- and my brother and sister were the strongest of all of them! I chose to be a cleric to protect them like they protect me, but... hee hee! Thanks to them, I love the sky."

REASON.

"Axes are so different from magic. Their strengths and weaknesses, their range, the types of foes they're better against... I won't ever be as good with axes as my big brother and sister, but that's okay, isn't it? I'm not them -- I'm their little sister! And I'll always be there to support them!"

BUDDING TALENT.

"Woah... This is new... and exciting! Heeheehee."

NEW SKILL.

"I learned a new trick! Do you want to see?"

RECLASSING.

(1) "There's still so much I can learn!"

(2) "I'll do my best!"

(3) "I've never considered this before... but I guess I'll start now!"

BATTLE QUOTES.

MOCK BATTLE RETREAT.

"Ow! I should take care of myself... I can still learn from watching everyone else."

(Edelgard specific) "Ouch...! I already knew you were strong, but you really showed me again! Hee hee... take care of yourself, okay?"

FIRST KILL.

"...O goddess of this land, please welcome them..."

(After Sabbam Vitatham, super real & canon event) "... ... ... O Naga... I..."

WHEN SELECTED.

FULL / HIGH HP.

"I'm here with you!"

MEDIUM HP.

"I'm okay!"

LOW HP.

"I've got to be careful..."

ENEMY DEALS 1 OR NO DAMAGE OR MISSES.

"I still have lots of catching up to do!"

CRITICAL ATTACK.

"One, two, three!"

"It's my turn to protect them!"

"I won't lose!"

"Here I come!"

GAMBIT.

"Everyone -- together!"

GAMBIT BOOST.

"Let's put an end to this!"

DEFEATED ENEMY.

"O goddess..."

"I'm a princess of Macedon, too!"

"...I hope that you're at peace."

"Just one more step..."

ALLY DEFEATS ENEMY.

"I'm so happy you're alright!"

"Wow...! You were amazing!"

(Michalis/Minerva exclusive) "Hee hee... You're just as cool as I remember, (Brother/Sister)!"

ALLY HEALS/RALLIES.

"Thank you! I'm feeling better already!"

"I won't let you down!"

"Since you believe in me, I'll work even harder!"

DEFEAT QUOTE.

CASUAL.

"Ow! No, I can't...! I won't make them cry again...!"

CLASSIC.

"Michalis... Minerva... I... Just one more time... Togeth...er..."

THE ADVICE BOX.

I'm really cheerful when I'm with people, but sometimes I worry that makes other people not hear me out at all. Sometimes my siblings just brush me off!

>Start acting differently and maybe they'll change their mind. >Show them through your actions. They'll realize eventually. (correct?) >Stop being small

SOURCE: shadoll -- super fun meme! thank you!! <3

[giyuforlife]

Incorect quotes (SKK/BSD edition)

featuring :

Chuuya Dazai Fukuzawa Ranpo Poe Aikiko Autsushi Kenjii Gin Kajii Kunikida

Chuuya: Slash gamemode creative. Dazai: Dude, this isn't Min- Chuuya: starts levitating

Ranpo: Dumbest scar stories, go! Fukuzawa: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Aikiko: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. Kajii: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Chuuya: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn. Autsushi: I have emotional scars.

Kunikida: What are you getting Poe for the holidays? Ranpo: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet. Aikiko: I'm getting Poe a divorce lawyer.

Autsushi, cracking his knuckles: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at someone.

Akutagawa, kajii, Gin, and Chuuya:

Dazai: tomorrow’s garbage day

Kunikida and chuuya, simultaneously: I can’t believe they made a whole day dedicated to you…

Aikiko: Dazai got into a fight. Kenjii: That’s bad. Kenjii: Kenjii: Did he win?

Gin: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Chuuya: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Kajii: Three of us saw it, Chuuya. How do you explain that? Chuuya: *points at Akutagawa* Sleep deprivation. *points at Kajii* Paranoia. *points at Dazai* Delusional personality disorder.

Kunikida: I haven't seen Dazai for fifteen minutes now. *Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Autsushi running after it in a panic. Kunikida doesn't look outside at all.* Kunikida : That probably means he”s getting into trouble… again

Chuuya: I want to kiss you. Dazai, not paying attention: What? Chuuya, flustered: I said if you die, I wont miss you!

Dazai: It’s funny how well you and Poe get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Ranpo: Poe hates everybody at first. It’s his way of reaching out to people.

Chuuya: I'm gonna get my pilot's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses. Akutagawa : The big five licenses? Chuuya: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

Dazai: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons. Kunikida, sarcastically: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

Autsushi, depressed: I wanna die… Dazai, happily : We all do, you aren't special!

Kunikida, in the background: DAZAI!!

akiko after overhearing autsushi: *books autsushi some thereapy sessions*

Dazai, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast. Chuuya, working the cashier: *not meaning to sound sarcastic* You're kinda ugly.

Autsushi: Help, someone at prom has been killed! Dazai: Calm down, we don't need you to Panic! At the Disco.

Ranpo: Hey, I see those leaves, where are you from? Dazai: Illinois. Ranpo: AAYYYE, I KNEW IT! ME TOO! Autsushi: …Did you just identify a state by looking at its leaves?

Dazai: The Ocean is a soup. Aikiko: Aikiko: Do elaborate. Dazai: What are needed for something to be a soup? Aikiko: Erm… Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine. Dazai: Tilts head Aikiko: The Ocean is a Soup. Dazai: The Ocean is a Soup.

Autsushi: We’re getting married, bitches! Akutagawa: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem!

Chuuya: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club. Dazai: What club? Kunikida: The hating Dazai club. Dazai: …The fuck? I should be the leader of that club!

(I just think that dazai hate himself)

Dazai to chuuya: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Autsushi: AS ENEMIES?! Chuuya, face redder than a tomato:…. WHAT

Autsushi : Chuuya, I know you love Dazai. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect him immensely. Autsushi: But I think he might be a fucking idiot.

Autsushi: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Chuuya? Chuuya: …Not really. Autsushi: Nothing? Chuuya: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited here!

[istherewifiinhell]

banging my head against the wall. does anyone wanna go insane and read TMNT Mirage #37 with me? An emotionally fraught jouney of faith and family and battling for or against your roots of eons past? You should. But if your not in for reading a 40 page comic I have a condensed visual/textual moments and summation for you! You might enjoy it!

[Mirage 37, Rick McCollum and Bill Anderson]

ID: Turtles walking through a forest with full camping bags. Mikey has his mask around his neck and wears a bucket hat: Well..." Raph wears a wide brimmed fedora type hat, he balances one sai by its point on his finger: "You do got a point, buddy." Leo is shadowed in the back with a straw hat. END

[In this comic the turtles are depicted with understated beaks and look lankier than Classic Mirage style. Their skin is usually in the darker of the 2 toners, and their masks are left without toner.]

ID: From behind the group, Don and Mikey in silhouette up front. Behind them, Raph is throwing his sai in the air. Leo is saying "I believe you Don, but... Spiritual meaning? Maybe you're reading too much into it." Close on Don's face, frowning "No, I'm not." END.

[See Donatello: The Ring, in Turtle Soup #2] Here's what you missed: Don went on a spiritual journey by himself. Now he wants them all to experience it.

ID: Three turtles and Splinter in the farm house living room. Raph and Mikey on the couch with books, Leo on the floor polishing his sword. Splinter standing to the side. Raph: Yeah, but Casey's car's on the blink. Mike: I hope its doesn't fall apart while he's out with April. Leo: Don will fix it when he returns. Raph has one leg up, is tossing some shuriken in one hand, his books says "Fun with sai". Mike slouches and has a drink can, his book is "Life of Bruce Lee" END

ID: Three Panels of Don explaining his experience in front of a large fire, fiddling with his bo staff, the flames curl around him as he speaks. A brow raised: But it wasn't the trees- It was one of us! The Father of All Reptiles Looking contemplative: He was a turtle. Or a ghost. Some kind of spirit... With a sheepish smile: And I'm glad I met him. He said I was special... END

Splinter reprimands the other turtles for not taking Don seriously. His lecture:

"Your lack of respect is unbecoming. Have I so failed you that you have no feel for your heritage, your roots? Reptiles ruled this world for uncounted eons, your people strode the land, slipped through the warm seas, and skittered about the sky. Though gone, their blood is your blood. And their spirit should be yours! They are your elders, with their bones left in the rock, lasting forever in the skin of the world. Respect them, and honor their spirits as you do me!" "Recall the time you spent, eons past, with your friend Renet. How you spoke of it once you'd returned! Did you not feel a sense of unity with that time? Did you not resonate to the heart-beat of the archosaurs? Your enthusiasm lingered for weeks."

[See Tales of TMNT 7] They went back in time and met dinosaurs, amongst other things.

ID: Panels with a close up on each character. April in profile, with a solemn look: You babbled on about it for days. Mike smiling wide: Yeah! It was warm! Leo, clutching his sword, looking away: I felt so free! Raph, his mask pushed up to his forehead, an eyes closed smile: Three months of fishing! Don, holding his staff, looking down: Yes, I was... Happy. END

Splinter continues to speak.

"Happiness…Ah, Donatello, it is so ephemeral. As was the time of those reptiles. Everything is a ring, and the ring turns. The world grew cold, small, furry creatures came out of the shadows. The dinosaurs died. The age of mammals began."

Raph, upset, gets disparaging about what the predominance of mammals has done to the earth.

ID: Three panels. Raph, shocked, hand over his mouth: I can't believe I said that. Splinter looming over Raph, who jerks back. Splinter: ~Think~ before~ you~ speak~ Raphael! Raph: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Splinter: Need I remind you that your best friend Casey Jones is a mammal? Close on Raph and April. Splinter off panel: Not to mention myself? Raph: Eep! April grimacing: I'm feeling warm-blooded and hairy also! END

ID: Four panels. Caption box: And look they do— Raph looking at two trees growing diagonally, thinking: I don't even know what I'm looking for. Leo, partially hidden behind foliage, thinking: Something's up. I feel... something. Mike, looking at a tree that's grown a loop in its trunk, thinking: Is this a "spiritual experience?" Don, walking through the trees in silhouette thinking: Why can't I find the place?" END

After a day of searching, they camp, but Mike goes missing during his watch in the night.

ID: Two panels, each showing Raph and Don and they face off and argue, their speech bubbles placed between them. Raph is backed up against a tree, angry, clenching his sais tightly. Don has his bo like a walking stick, and seems calmer.

Raph: Why? Mike needs us! Don, with an irregular speech bubble: Either he is alive or he is dead. The quest is more important. R: What are you talking about? What's wrong with you? D, normal bubble: Nothing. I had a dream last night. If we give up the quest, we've lost. R: Mike is more important! D: That's what the adversary hopes you think. R: What adversary? D, irregular bubble: Have Faith. R: Donatello! D, regular bubble: Remember when you devovled? We kept faith. R, yelling: AAARGH! END

[See Mirage 24-26] Raph was de-mutated into a regular turtle, his brothers had to go on a journey to save him.

ID: Leo, mask off, scowling "This is what we'll do. Break camp. Consolidate our gear. Bury what's left. We're on a combat mission now. We'll keep faith, Don, but--. A narrow panel of Don, drawn small, gripping his staff: What? Leo getting in Don's face, displeased: I hate leaving Mike. -- Just make sure you're right. END

Raph goes missing on their second nights watch, Don becomes stranger and more convicted about this quest.

ID: Leo, furiously, points in the direction of the viewer, accusing Don. "What's with you? Why are you so out of it?! -- What's wrong with your voice? [Larger text] Don't you care about Mike or Raph?! END

ID: Don sits facing away from Leo, gripping his staff, angry, speaking towards his hands. Leo looks on from a ways back, dramatically lit. Don: [Large text] Of course I do! [Normal text] But... I don't know what's wrong with my voice. I don't know who the Adversary is. And yet..." END

ID from alt: Two panels, Leo glaring, getting in Don's face, pointing at his beak, grabbing Don's staff. "Who told you this?" Don has brows raised. Don, with a wincing smile: "The Father of us all." END

ID: Multiple panels. Close on Leo, "Remember what I said about being sure?" Don holding his staff in front of himself, seemingly scared, "Leo, please." Mid on Leo, more neutral frown, "Don..." Full body, Leo turns away, the wind picks up. Leo facing away, pulled back shot. "Let's keep going." END

Narration as they travel further into stranger and stranger territory.

Leonardo: What was to be a relaxing romp has become a grueling death march. Sweating and hacking through the threatening undergrowth, he understands that he is hopelessly lost. As lost as Donatello seems to be, following an Unknown pull, mumbling to somebody only he can hear Donatello: while Leonardo must fight the wild landscape, he slips easily through the thorns. And he listens, and talks. Hair is better than scales? The birds are traitors, having stolen the secret of hot blood? Giants, brought low by small, furry ones? As he pursues the silent beckoning, he learns...

They have a run in with a foe in pitch black forest. They take many hits but score one back, severing one limb, hairy and clawed, then retreat. Don garbs himself in some make shift religious fair, using his blanket, mud and ash. The two sleep, they dream.

And they dream the same dream. They see their blood rise and rule. The ring is turning. The reptiles differentiate, and claim the seas and air. They see their family as it might have become- If the ring hadn't broken. They feel contempt for their children, the birds, as they invade the skies. But it is nothing compared to the fear which the small hairy ones bring. The furry horde had been around since the reptiles beginnings- swarming… unstoppable.

ID: Three panels. Caption Box: The morning brings questions. Leo and Don sit with their backs to a tree. Don's taken his mask off, made a dark markings on his face and body, and wears a hood. Leo: Did you dream-? Don: Yes. Leo looks upset, gestures with a hand in front of himself. "I... felt grief. Anguish. They must be let loose. -- But why? And how?" Don's face is completely shadowed by his hood, his eyes and teeth stick out in far too much detail. It is an unsettling smile. "You're starting to learn." END

Another fight, Don's leg is broken by the mammalian Adversary. Leo, with all the weight of the loss of his brothers, takes position to make a last stand protecting him. But Don urges him to continue on, to find and aid the Father of all Reptiles.

ID: Many panels, Don injured, propped against a tree. Eyes closed in pain he says "Can't you hear?" Leo looks behind them. A strange voice says "Come." Close on Don, crying, yelling at Leo "Go! Please! I have faith in you!" Leo's eyes, frowning. Leo's hand, offering his sword. Leo's eyes, he's crying through his mask. "Take this." Don's hand taking the sword from Leo. Narrow panel, Leo walks away, remaining sword drawn. "Fight well." END

ID: A cut off panel with dialogue, and a close on Leo, framed between two rocks, crying heavily. The says: You have become one with sorrow. You are sad. I am glad. Now we may speak. END

Leo climbs and the conversation continues.

Narration: There are sounds behind him, as he climbs. Voice: Your brother Donatello gave me joy when we met. I thought it would release me from my grief. Narration: Following him as he scampers every higher. Voice: I tried to go. But joy is ephemeral-- Narration: Leonardo reaches the top with haste. Voice: While melancholy lasts forever.

Leo sits at the mountain peak, thinks of his brothers, contemplates the sounds of the Adversary below and the Father of all Reptiles speaks to him more, as he falls into sleep.

This is my nexus, my holy spot. This is my prison, where I am trapped by my sadness. Dream of extinction. Dream of death. Once we were, now we are not. You and yours are what we could have been-- Had not the hairy ones come. All the scaly brethren are my children… But they hairy ones killed them-

Leo wakes slowly to a growl, then all at once with a yelp.

ID: Full page, the Father of all reptiles finishes in a yell. "THEY ATE MY EGGS!" The mammalian Adversary's loud growl just under the speech bubble. It looms in the panel, over Leo at the bottom, his sword drawn. The Adversary, large and rodent like, fur dark, eyes gleaming, foam dripping from its mouth. One arm severed and still bleeding, implanted in it are the weapons from Leo's brothers. Raph's sai in its leg, Mike's nunchaku in the stub of its arm, Don's staff and Leo's other sword in its chest. Other small rodents cling to its form. Surrounding the image, marginalia in the corners. Cracked eggs up top, rodents in the bottom. And a border of text, listing eras, genera and species of or relating to early mammals. END

Leo's brothers, injured, wounds wrapped and broken limbs braced, are following his trail. They see signs in the sky, Mikey thinks it looked like a massive turtle. Don is assured with his faith that this means the Father of All Reptiles is aiding Leo, and that they should rest. Mike and Raph leave him to sit at the mountain base (offering him another weapon for protection), and make their way up.

Narration: At the pinnacle, a warm, fresh breeze wafts downward. The trees below grow normal. Throughout the world, fossil Mesozoic eggs break apart, as fetal reptile souls are let loose. Paleontologists will find no more intact eggs. EVER.

ID: Full page panel, Leo sits at the base of the giant cracked egg of the Father of All Reptiles. Sword dangling, he's exhausted, blood splatters him, his sword, and the mottled surface of the egg shell. The Adversary's head and remaining hand are laying to one side, the dark mass of fur on his other. His brothers cresting the peak see him, and he says "We freed him. The wheel is moving again. The ring is whole." Caption box: And whole, the ring moves on. A Marginalia drawing in the corner shows a small rodent, the front of its body inside the cracked shell of an egg. END

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

"Too rowdy? Leo, what kind of a fight did they get into? Did they kill a mercenary?"

EASY LEO - Too late! Leo's mouth is still moving and words are spewing forth... words, words and look -- even more words -- this guy could go on till the end of days.

Now he's talking about some drunk sawmill owner who... no, he already switched to a prized fishing rod he apparently owned at some point... You know what -- just cut in there with your questions.

4. "Do you work here?"

EASY LEO - "Yes-yes, everybody needs a job and this is mine. I'm Leonard, by the way, Leonard Bellec, but everyone calls me Leo." The little man raises his hand in a welcoming gesture.

"I'm like Mr. Evrart's right-hand man, when Mr. Edgar is out of town -- and Mr. *Edgar's* right hand man when Mr. Evrart is away!" He chuckles.

"Actually, Miss Beaufort is the right-hand man, but she's a lay-dee," a goodhearted chuckle again.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Who is this Miss Beaufort?" The lieutenant looks up at Leo.

EASY LEO - "A real pretty lady with a skin like those 'Doux & Sucre' candy bars my missus likes so much. Them are real nice to suckle on once the dinner is done and me and the missus sit down besides the radio."

"But I can't listen to the radio all the time. There's so much to do around here and I'm always busy keeping things running here. Yes I am, yes I am."

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Stay on this *Miss Beaufort* topic.

"Hold on, who's this Miss Beaufort you mentioned?"

"I think you're doing a great job around here, Leo."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this place would totally fall apart if you didn't shine the bossman's shoes, Leo."

EASY LEO - "Oh, Lizzy? She is a real sharp tool. Mr. Evrart put her through some fancy school and everything, east of the river. Four years she was gone and when she came back she was all fancy and *law-yerly*."

"But she's a real nice girl, grew up in this here neighbourhood, knows everybody and gets along with everyone, real pillar of the community one day, I'm sure."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - For a fraction of a second there's sadness in his eyes.

EASY LEO - He goes on: "If me missus and me was to have a child I'd be real happy if she turned out like her... But she can't have kids."

"Doctor Lemaitre said so, and she knows about such things. Been a doctor for almost fifty years, she has..." He sighs and falls silent, watching you meekly with his blue, blue eyes.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - So Evrart trained a lawyer named Miss Beaufort. Interesting.

2. "I think you're doing a great job around here, Leo."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes, this place really seems to run like clockwork. Keep it up, Leo." The lieutenant smiles at the little man.

+1 Reputation

EASY LEO - "Well thanks a lot, coming from you it means a lot, really." You didn't think it was possible, but the smile becomes even wider.

"Sometimes I feel some of the guys don't really get how much I bust my ass for them here, but you guys are all right."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - The white rectangle on your clothes might not mean an awful lot in Martinaise, but the recognition from an authority figure made Leo's day.

4. "Are you the Leo, who wrote the note to make more banners?"

EASY LEO - "Oh yes, yes," he replies excitedly. "I leave all kinds of notes for myself. That old head of mine ain't so good at keeping things in no more. I almost forgot about the borscht."

"What was that about the borscht?"

"Cool. Another question then."

EASY LEO - "Oh yes, I've been taking special Whirling borscht to the men every day since the strike started." The little guy chuckles merrily.

"It's very-very good. Makes a man feel so warm and happy." He shakes his head with a wide smile. "I feel like I could take on Mr. Renaudin's boar-dogs every time the lunch is done."

"What do you mean by 'taking this soup to the men'? Is it for striking?"

"Thanks, Leo. Another question though?"

EASY LEO - "Yes, yes, I'm taking it to them. The borscht keeps them happy and in fighting spirits. Makes you all warm inside. They brew it in the Whirling-in-Rags."

"Hold up, who makes it at the Whirling?"

"Something is off about this borscht... I'm going to look into it. (Accept task.)

"That's it. I just wanted to know who wrote the note." (Refuse task.)

EASY LEO - "Oh, the Whirling's cook. He makes it. Them is always talking with Mr. Mañana in that weird language and laughing together. He doesn't speak what we speak, he's from Graad."

"Something is off about this borscht... I'm going to look into it." (Accept task.)

New task: The *special* borscht

EASY LEO - "Oh sure, mister... sure." The little guy nods. "You do that, yes sir."

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - He didn't actually understand what you meant and now he's just nodding along.

5. "What's in that container over there?" (Point to the container suspended from the crane arm.)

EASY LEO - "Oh that one..." He looks at the container. "That should be empty as far as I know. Lots of containers here have nothing in them. They're just waiting to be loaded up."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Told you."

6. "I'm looking for the leader of the Dockworkers' Union."

EASY LEO - "Oh, you want Mr. Evrart, then. He's an awfully nice fellow, he is. Him and his brother are both nice fellows -- they've lived their entire lives in this here neighbourhood." He coughs, then continues immediately...

"Guys like Mr. Evrart and Mr. Edgar -- his brother -- are real good guys, made Martinaise what it is today… Mr. Evrart and Mr. Edgar and I went to the same school, we did, when we were boys…"

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Patience. Deep down, you have the mental power to keep listening. Not many would -- but you do.

Do not interrupt Leonard.

"Easy now, Leo -- I just want to know where can I find this man."

EASY LEO - "... had an arithmetics teacher, Miss Bellows." Leo let's out a little chuckle. "Her real name was Miss Bellams, she was a real pretty lady, but when she got mad..." He starts laughing.

"All the boys liked her if you know what I mean, mister…" He winks at you. "We used to sneak in her yard in the dark and peek through the window. One time we saw Miss Bellows with a fellow. Yes we did, yes we did, mister." He looks for signs of disbelief in your eyes.

Don't say anything.

"No you fucking didn't!"

"Evrart, Leo, where can I find Evrart?" (Interrupt him.)

EASY LEO - "Yes we did, we did, mister." He looks at you and shakes his head. "Indeed we did. Him was a big, big fellow, used to drive the *troyka* near our'ses school and everything."

Leo leans in and whispers: "Them was all naked too. That's all I got to say about that."

"Very interesting, very interesting. Thank you for telling me the whole thing."

+5 XP

EASY LEO - "Thank you... Heh! Almost forgot! Mr. Evrart is in that container over there." Leo points to his left. "I got distracted telling the story, but he's in there."

7. "Okay, I'm off." [Leave.]

EASY LEO - "Bye bye now!" He returns to his work.

Nothing left to do but go see Evrart.

🔊: The sound of a typewriter.

The coffee in the giant thermoses is still lukewarm.

A stair made of pallets leading up...

A taxidermy fish that tells time.

EVRART CLAIRE - Before you is a walrus of a man seated behind a large desk. He looks up from his work, not the least bit surprised to see you...

With great effort, he straightens himself up in his chair, yet says nothing. He simply stares at you.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - With a mixture of expectation and impatience, well bottled.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - A typical power play. Wait for him to speak first -- show him you've got a backbone.

Say nothing. Look him dead in the eye.

"Are you in charge of the dockworkers?"

"Let's get straight to business. There's a dead body in a tree."

Leave without comment. [Leave.]

EVRART CLAIRE - The one good eye of this man feels you up without even flickering. The other -- his lazy eye -- is constantly moving like a goldfish in a tank.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - Grotesquely magnified by his +6 glasses.

EVRART CLAIRE - For a moment you don't know where to look. It is unbearably humid in the trailer. Beads of sweat slide down the man's forehead.

Stop. This is getting too weird.

Keep staring.

EVRART CLAIRE - At first, nothing happens. His face wears a wide and self-satisfied smile. Every now and then, he smacks his big lips.

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - Like a general over his maps, he plots his moves. Judging by the way he's licking his chops, it's going to be a good one.

EVRART CLAIRE - "Soooo..." He begins to speak, albeit very slowly -- purposefully leaving a pause after his opener.

"...Mr. Du Bois, Mr. Kitsuragi, how nice that you found a moment to pay a visit to the Débardeurs' Union. I'm Evrart Claire, head of this little operation here."

"Please, have a seat." He gestures to a *tiny* folding chair -- opposite to his giant desk.

COMPOSURE [Easy: Success] - The folding chair looks like a torture device. Extremely uncomfortable.

KIM KITSURAGI - "You go ahead, detective." The lieutenant nods at you, then the chair.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Trivial: Success] - Whatever he has in store for you, it can't be good, he thinks. I'll do my best.

INLAND EMPIRE [Trivial: Success] - Forget about that. What's with this Du Bois stuff? You're getting some seriously bad vibes from that name...

Take a seat.

"I'd rather stand."

"Why are you calling me 'Mr Du Bois'?"

"Actually, I'm in a bit of a hurry right now." [Leave.]

EVRART CLAIRE - "Please, Mr. Du Bois, let us converse in a civilized manner, as equals. Take a seat -- I insist."

INLAND EMPIRE - It's nothing. Yes, that's *probably* right. It's nothing. Forget about it, filter it out.

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - He's trying to throw you off your game with this *Du Bois* nonsense -- don't give him the pleasure.

Take a seat.

"I don't *sit*. It's kind of my thing."

"Actually I was just leaving." [Leave.]

EVRART CLAIRE - "Very well, Mr. Du Bois. I respect a man with strong convictions..." As he nods, his multiple chins move like ocean waves.

"I, too, have convictions, one of which is that I will not engage any man who won't face me at *eye level*."

"Should you find yourself more amenable in the future, I'd gladly resume our conversation. But until then, I'm afraid I must ask you to leave." He turns back to his typewriter.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Damn... that's a nasty play. He's got you -- a titan of Volition -- in a fork. Guess you just have to sit or leave.

Hm. If we had another Magnesium on us we could get a little more Volition right now. Hell. Let's rewind and buy some *before* we get trapped on the other side of the harbour gates.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Don't give up -- but don't leave either. You're going to have this conversation on your terms. You just need to remain headstrong.

Take a seat.

Remain standing and don't go anywhere.

Leave quietly. [Leave.]

EVRART CLAIRE - Evrart starts whistling a little worker song. He really is trying to ignore you... or *will* you out of existence.

Stand strong.

Leave quietly. [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant stands right next to you, not showing any signs of impatience or boredom.

EVRART CLAIRE - "I see you are an extremely stubborn man, Mr. Du Bois... That ain't necessarily a bad thing." Finally, the big man looks you in the eye and speaks.

VOLITION - You did it! This might help against whatever comes next...

+5 XP

Note the timestamps here. Breaking Evrart took a full half hour.

EVRART CLAIRE - "So tell me, how can the head of the Débardeurs' Union help a representative of the Revachol Citizens Militia today?"

"Oh, by the way, I heard you got a rather rude reception from a certain... Lawrence *Garte*. Some people have no manners, it pains me to say."

"*This* should take care of that nonsense." He points to a giant novelty cheque on his desk -- it's absolutely, comically huge.

"It should be sufficient to cover your expenses for a few days and patch over your differences with the cafeteria manager. Go ahead, take it." He points at it again.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - Wow, that's 25 reál! That's good money. You *need* it.

Hm.

"Wait, you know Garte?"

"Thank you, Evrart." (Take the comically large cheque.)

(Take the comically large cheque but don't say anything.)

"Keep it, I'm good." (Leave the cheque.)

"You can take that comically large cheque and shove it up your ass!" (Leave it.)

EVRART CLAIRE - "Yes, I know Lawrence. He's a real character -- no Union man in him. A real piece of work, that boy is."

DRAMA [Easy: Success] - With a grin he points to the cheque again. It's like you're on a game show... *At least* don't thank him for it.