#i fucking hate being afab

[kai-keda]

Imagine being in excruciating pain during a routine medical procedure that should not be painful (and has not been in the past with a different doctor) and having your doctor say “I can tell you’re a singer cause of the tone of your voice while you’re yelling.”

Anyways, my amazing Nurse Practioner for my psychiatrist told me today that complaining to corporate is an option and I’m gonna take it 🥰

Not being able to sleep at 3 am due to the trauma of the experience hitting way too hard and giving insomnia when I have to work in the morning is not fun and that doctor/those nurses should not be allowed to work with that procedure anymore.

In my NP’s words “You do not deserve to be treated that way and that staff was acting wholly inappropriate towards you.”

[rue-the-frog]

the urge to rip out my uterus rn is real

[ilynpilled]

Have you seen that post on how Cersei pushing Jaime into forcing sex on her is an abuse technique on her end?

no, but i checked his tag now lol. while i know that george explicitly expressed that the sept scene was intended as consensual by him, i still believe that jaime’s pattern of pushing to have sex with cersei, and how, speaks of an unhealthy relationship with consent in this relationship on his part, a lack of respect for boundaries on his part, as well as objectification on his part that cannot be removed from the context of this society’s gender dynamics, especially when it concerns cersei’s themes and her character (to contextualize and expand on what i mean, heres a very quick collection of quotes regarding how jaime’s relationship to cersei, sex, swordplay, and even violence blend or function similarly in relation to very heavy dissociative tendencies):

i understand the jc dynamic’s set up:

“She has never come to me, he thought. She has always waited, letting me come to her. She gives, but I must ask.”

“She wanted to draw his face to hers for a kiss. Later, she told herself, later he will come to me, for comfort. “We are his heirs, Jaime,” she whispered. “It will be up to us to finish his work. You must take Father’s place as Hand. You see that now, surely. Tommen will need you . . .”

i also understand how george seems to establish communication and patterns within this dynamic that reinforce his expressed intention, which is also apparent in a scene that a third party witnesses and how that mirrors the sept, and i obviously also do not think these two would do all of this healthily and establish things akin to safe words (though i take issue with a lot of things here still when it comes to grrm and how consent is framed):

and i understand george framing cersei utilising sex, or even love and affection, as a means to have power, and that being a big factor in this relationship’s dynamic and how she takes control (see instances when cersei does initiate— jaime’s narration is not entirely correct, we know of the inn, which is unique but important, so it is interesting that he chooses not to connect this until feast, that would mean confronting something he doesn’t want to— and what motives she has: “She smiled for him, so sweetly. “Do you remember the first time I came to you like this? It was some dismal inn off Weasel Alley, and I put on servant’s garb to get past Father’s guards.” “I remember. It was Eel Alley.” She wants something of me. “Why are you here, at this hour? What would you have of me?” His last word echoed up and down the sept, mememememememememememe, fading to a whisper. For a moment he dared to hope that all she wanted was the comfort of his arms.”

but i do not think that changes much about the issues on jaime’s part, or how a lot of fandom frames cersei. we know cersei only enjoys sex with jaime (it is sex that is categorized as different from lancel, osney, taena, and robert — all of these also cannot be conflated for obvious reasons — by her), she says so, but that doesn’t change that she still believes that it is her only source of power and means through which she can reach equal ground within her society. we can understand why cersei thinks and functions this way: we understand how she was reared and how she was viewed as a sexual object and a tool for political transactions with no autonomy since childhood by every adult around her. we see how and why jaime is needed by her to feel “whole”, and how he is her “sword.” it is also not difficult to acknowledge that while the abusive dynamic is not what i would consider equal: jaime does not verbally berate her to the degree she does him, does not physically hit her and throw things at her, does not use her or emotionally abuse her the way that she does him (and no, i personally do not agree with people that say they are equally terrible to each other or they equally benefit from this relationship), jaime still ultimately has power over her due to his gender (the physical is obvious, but on top of that this is a medieval society with extreme levels of gender inequality), and nothing will really erase that because this relationship does not exist in a vacuum. this is not diminished by how this relationship functions, her status as queen and jaime’s status as her kg, and other variables that play into the unequal power dynamic. it will always have to be acknowledged that cersei is a woman + everything that comes with that being the case in a medieval society with complete patriarchal domination. i also think the unhealthy belief system of “we are one. you are me. i am you. we are two halves of a whole” will have effects on the understanding of consent and how both parties function in the relationship. i think this extreme delusion would lead to a plethora of issues when it comes to consent and boundaries. with cersei too, the moment she (including her offering sex) is rejected by her “other half” she emphasizes and says things like “you swore that you would always love me.” and “i was a fool to ever love you” or starts verbally berating him, emasculating him, being ableist etc. this relationship operates on some absurd conditions and ultimatums, it is not healthy, hence things like “the things I do for love” too. in reality, it really is the opposite of “unconditional destined lovers.” both of them have things that they end up prioritizing over the other, and both have an incorrect idea of the other that fits their specific needs and wants. i just despise this whole “cersei groomed and manipulated jaime since they were children” bullshit. a child is not capable of this. teenaged cersei was navigating the strict and dehumanising boxes that her father and society forced her into since she was 7 years old. she looked to her brother for comfort and escape as much, if not in many ways more at this point, as he did. i also think cersei escapes into the relationship to subvert those societal patterns in many ways (i have seen people discuss that jaime views her as an equal and a person more so than others: “If I were a woman I’d be Cersei.”) but this still does not change the flaws that jaime has. he is not only a man in westeros, he was also reared by tywin lannister lmao. he is a misogynist with a skewed understanding and view of a lot of things. no point in denying this.

i also understand “mutual abuse is not real”, and understand the damage ignoring that can do to narratives revolving around victims of abuse, and the issue with framing ‘retaliation’ or ‘bad victims’ as mutual abuse (see discussions regarding robert and cersei for example and some of the putrid narratives that come out of that), but we are talking about fiction and its themes, discussing an author’s known intention and execution of that intention (that we can also criticize), as well as what is written in a text, and i do not think we should be ignoring the nuances when it comes to applying a modern lens to a medieval society with some very different and more severe and strict paradigms when it comes to gender inequality and the oppression of women.

here are george’s actual comments that i do not believe contradict the bulk of my perspective either tbh:

[falldogbombsthemoon]

How can one stare at themselves in the mirror for hours and feel like they are the hottest mf on earth but as soon as a stranger looks at them, they feel like a shrinkled up pickle. Like God please.

[p4nishers]

can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys

[peach-jelly-lemon]

If I have to read "gender neutral but afab" "anyone can read but you're afab" one more time I'm gonna lose my shit

[churchydragon]

I fucking hate pre-menstrual and present-menstrual rage. I want to explode into a million crickets

[machathecat]

Just some rant about periods cause it sucks that I'll probably delete later but rn I need to let this out or I'm going to explode

[giantkillerjack]

Dear horror youtubers who write video essays explaining and examining extraordinary works of horror that I deeply want to see and understand but will literally never be able to safely watch due to my own trauma - thus providing me with a way to learn from and connect to works of art that would be otherwise forever inaccessible to me,

I love you.

[meowm1x]

the fact so many lesbophobes will happily rely on transphobia and transmisogyny WHILE CLAIMING they are being inclusive and that anyone who disagrees with them is a terf sure is... something!

anyways, lesbians love women exclusively and that includes trans women and excludes trans men. die mad about it 💕

[i-dont-know-i-just-like-dragons]

why is it that as a lesbian I have to have a period? IM NOT GONNA BREED STOP TORTURING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[ihearnocomplaints]

I have been listening to This Song on repeat today.

I honestly can’t tell if the DCA would play this for someone or if someone would play it for the DCA but it just really makes me think of them.

In my feels today, boys (gender neutral)

[puppydogsys]

if i see one more person say “““afab drag””” when referring solely to cis women doing fem drag im going to fucking snap

[munamania]

damn sometimes i try i really do try to follow along on the posts where people try to address intracommunity issues among queer people and different relationship dynamics etc but as much as y’all want to say This isn’t abt hating women/lesbians/etc that’s. very much what you’re saying. like you realize that right. like you realize saying that women being bitchy and whiny about uwu their oppressors :((( while being no better than them and etc like. is fucking bullshit. like you realize how shitty that is right. like you realize that once again trying to pin these issues on lesbians and women for discussing misogyny and talking about how that affects our lives isn’t always just about Bonding over Victimhood lol it’s like. sure there are those people they sure exist but. talking abt misogyny doesn’t inherently hurt other queer people including masc presenting ones and like. it’s not our fault that we still exist in a patriarchy….? like i feel like i can pick apart what you’re saying and it’s very much about White Feminism but that’s not. every post on here discussing misogyny. like you realize how fucked up your stupid ass discourse is right. you realize how fucking stupid you’re being. how fucking idiotic it is to lump all those discussions into the same fucking category. sorry i’m being mean but like. you have to get there at some point right. we can’t keep going in these fucking circles kill me

[ahalliance]

it’s been multiple nights in a row now that ive been unable to fall asleep bc ive been so fucking pissed off at how society and people therein treat trans people . i need hrt now

[sethdomain]

i somethime forhtot hoe sexfist this countray is lol