#i get some people don't like the word queer

[simbistardis]

The erasure of Blackness from 'stemme' & 'stud' and why it bothers me

This is more of a vent post/social analysis then 'what is stemme 101' but to summarise stemme stands for stud-femme lesbian. A stud in basic terms is a Black lesbian with masc presentations and roles. A stemme is a Black lesbian with fem and masc presentations and roles. Stemme is a Black lesbian term but according to tiktok it's 'just being masc and fem' and 'has nothing to do with race'. And that pisses me off.

Black gender nonconformity is barely represented. There isn't a 'how to be GNC whilst Black 101' and it gets really isolating tryna figure yourself out with no one to help you. Tomboy and androgynous representation is predominantly white. Being tomboy or andro is associated with having short straight hair or a buzzcut on a white body. Black women in hip-hop and R&B helped to shape Black masculinity and femininity in pop culture. Aaliyah, Queen Latifah, Left Eye, Da Brat etc. helped shape the Black tomboy aesthetics we see today. A large chuck of queer masculinity borrows off of Black, especially Black American, masculine aesthetics. The durags, the chains, the caps, the trainers, the AAVE etc. it all goes back to hip-hop culture.

Black women aren't allowed to be masculine. We're masculinised but we can't be autonomously masculine (people don't get this distinction when this topic comes up but that's another post babes x). Despite Black women, especially darkskin Black women being called mannish and strong we don't actually get to reap the benefits of being masc. We don't get to be the positive masc traits like being smart, brave etc it's only the negatives. And this is 2x harder if you're trans. It gets really confusing as a dark-skinned Black girl excluded from femininity growing up whilst also being so feminine and girly apparently you're on the end of misogynoir. Stem(me) basically summed up my relation to gender pretty well. There was never a word for this experience growing up.

So when I go to look up stemme and it's predominantly white lesbians in snapbacks I don't get a good feeling. And when I see shit about how stem 'had nothing to do with race' I'm fuming. Even more so when people say STUD had nothing to do with Black lesbians. Huh?? Black women's representation is already lacking in most areas even for cishet Black women. But Black GNC identity is SO rare. We can't even have a niche of a niche. That's how little Black culture matters in society's eyes. 'What do we use then?' Chapstick. Tomboy. Tomboy femme. Butch. Masc. The dozens of representations that have always represented your experiences. You're gonna be fine I promise you.

The main thing that set off this vent was seeing some tiktok user make a video crediting herself for defining stem as being masc and fem and ignoring all the Black lesbians that called her out and the audacity for her to say it 'used to mean that' and that 'terms evolve' .

Taking Black lesbian terms and changing their meaning is not evolution. It is theft. Erasing Black tomboys and erasing the literal stud from stud-femme, stemme, is just continuing the erasure of Black LGBTQIA identities in a society that already doesn't want us around. Stemme has always been stud-femme and I'm gonna always honour that, even if I stop using the label for myself, even if no one else will.

[purpurussy]

I feel like the "dan is bi" anon is trolling but just in case they're genuinely confused: yes dan said in BIG that he loved and felt attracted to his high school gf (although he also made it pretty clear that they did not have sex so idk where anon is getting the idea that he has slept with "multiple women" 💀), and he alluded to his attraction not being confined to a specific gender in the part where he talked about labels, but you're completely taking all of that wildly out of context and missing the point of the whole video by calling him bi. I feel like this is probably the part that's frying their brain:

(shoutout to the legend @goldenpinof for this transcript!)

But firstly, imo it was very clear from BIG, as well as other stuff he's said over the years, that he just doesn't like labels. Which I find very valid, it took me a long time to figure out how to label myself. I still don't know what my gender is lmao but I started saying "bi" for my sexuality because it's a widely-used term that gets the point across. And I think that's the thing here: he came to the conclusion that the labels "gay" and "queer" are the best descriptors of his identity, which do the most accurate job of approximating something extremely psychologically complex and multilayered and nuanced in a simple everyday term that gets the point across to other people.

Obviously words mean things and it doesn't make sense to just pick a label at random (like for example it wouldn't make sense for me to identify as a lesbian, since I definitely feel attraction to men as well as women and everything outside the binary, and am interested in acting on that attraction at times, so I wouldn't be conveying accurate information to other people if I used the label lesbian for myself) but a label is just supposed to serve the task of conveying relevant information to other people (if a lesbian feels some kind of abstract attraction to dan and phil, that doesn't mean that the alphabet council needs to immediately revoke their lesbian card!! Since the word "lesbian" still does a perfectly good job of conveying relevant information to other people. Likewise if a straight dude has a fun little gay dalliance with his college roommate, but has absolutely 0 interest in men beyond that incident, it wouldn't be remotely necessary for him to start calling himself bi if he didn't want to, because what would be the point in that if he's only interested in women? Like if he told a gay dude who found him attractive that he's bi, only to backtrack... Do you see what I'm saying here?). It's perfectly valid for Dan to use "gay" and "queer" as umbrella terms that in his opinion do the best job of describing him, out of the language that's available. If he's like essentially a kinsey >5 and decided to just round it off to a 6 at this point, who are you to tell him he can't lmao

(shoutout to the legend @goldenpinof for this transcript!

Human sexuality is often way too complicated to boil it down to a single label in a way that doesn't erase any of its nuance, and I feel like this is something he's struggled with in the past, especially with him being a public figure. He's mentioned multiple times that feeling like he had to choose a label was a factor that prolonged his decision to come out.

And this is not even getting into the impact that his trauma from his childhood and also from spending a chunk of his formative years in the public eye probably had on the way he identifies or the way he chooses to label himself. It clearly took so much courage and strength for him to finally be able to call himself gay/queer please have some respect for our brave troops

Ultimately the point is that he uses the labels "gay" and "queer", not "bi", and it really shouldn't be difficult to respect that. It's also not biphobic for him to choose not use the label "bi" (again speaking as someone who uses that label). It's just that he feels "gay"/"queer" are better descriptors for him and nobody gets to determine that except him!! :) He wants people to know he's gay so he calls himself gay and that's that on that.

There are definitely people on here who are way smarter and more well-educated than me who would've done a much better job eloquently discussing this topic without rambling all over the place but that's my take (if anyone would like to add to this please do so, I'm always open to learn more about topics like this. And I'm also not saying that the way I see it is the only objectively correct opinion, but anon is definitely wrong so 💀). Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[alatismeni-theitsa]

In "KAOS" nothing is anything, and everything is wrong

Two disclaimers: I am no stranger to modern art, and I have no issue with queerness in shows, or in my own mythology (I'm Greek). I am also aware that KAOS is a comedy. It's in the gutter of British comedy, but still part of the genre. At least I laughed every time they said "Oh God!". I don't believe this is the same person who wrote the great and amusing "End of the F**king World"! The premise of "The gods in our modern world" appeals to me a lot, so that wasn't my problem either. My general issue with KAOS is its horrible delivery, bad writing, and piss-poor Greek representation.

This is gonna be long and full of stupid gifs, so sit comfortably, grab a coffee or some popcorn and... pame!

The "ILoveGreekMythology" Kid

Art without context is just a pretty thing to look at. Most of the time, this context can be found within the art piece itself, as the artist has taken care to weave it in. KAOS refuses to connect itself to any context besides the names and a few vague powers. It aims to exist outside of those "boring old stories of the Greek myth" and be entirely "fresh and modern". Something impossible when the entire show and the meanings are based on ancient recorded material. In other words, KAOS is so meta that it ends up being nothing. KAOS cannot stand on its own because you need more than the viewers being familiar with the Greek myth basics to pull such a show off.

KAOS tells us "See? I know all the names of the gods, and what they did, and I know all the locations, so I am qualified to tackle this". More or less like any Western kid who takes all their knowledge from PJO and Marvel and proceeds to unironically hate ancient deities and make a girlboss out of Medusa.

Here's a Greek word for you guys, ημιμάθεια, meaning "half-knowledge". Α Greek saying very well declares "Half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge". The confidence of thinking you know enough often leads you to grave mistakes whereas the humility of not knowing prevents you from touching shit that you shouldn't. When you have no idea what the original myth is trying to say and spit on its meaning, knowing a few names and locations is just smoke and mirrors. I don't believe the audience fell for that.

And don't get me started on the "subversions". A good subversion is intriguing and thought-provoking. In KAOS, every twist was hollow - Greek myth related or otherwise.

"What if Euridice doesn't love Orpheus?" I don't know, babe. What if??? What was the point of that? What did you show us? That women's stories are dominated by men and men don't listen to women, perhaps? And you chose to twist... the love story of Orpheus and Euridice to show this?? One of the best and most tragic love stories Greek mythology has to offer?? You just mocked the myth, you didn't make anything profound out of it.

The Greek Stuff (Nothing salvageable)

I was surprised to see they had a Consulting Producer (Georgia Christou) and an Assistant Script Editor (Isabella Yianni) who happen to be Greek. And I stress that because those people probably weren't hired or utilized for being Greek. We are not sure they were involved in cultural decisions because we have no evidence and because shows with no Greek elements can have more Greeks than that on their staff.

Okay, perhaps they took 5 seconds to ask Isabella about a greeting - which they proceeded to say in a wrong intonation 🙄🤌It's where Poseidon says "ya sás" in the Fates, by the way. How he said it sounds more like "for you (pl.)" than "health to you (pl.)".

Surprise! The only Greek actor present (Peter Polycarpou) has less than 5 minutes of screen time and plays the caricature of an immigrant with a thick (and inaccurate Greek) accent. He has a canteen, selling falafel which is not Greek, and Dionysus buys from him an unidentified tortilla wrap (which... is also not Greek, if you haven't caught up).

For the show they brought in actors of Maori, Nigerian and Sierra Leonean, Pakistani, Black American, Latvian-Jewish, Iranian, Egyptian, Indo-Fijian and Malay descent and you tell me it was impossible for them to seek and find an English-speaking, skilled actor of Greek descent in a show regarding Greek heritage. Sometimes I wonder, do y'all hate us so much?

They considered Greeks only to give us a simple (and wrong) greeting and a stereotype. Crumbs, we are supposed to be happy with. By the way, there are over 70.000 Greek immigrants just in the UK, usually in the urban centers, many of them students or fairly young employees in the corporate workforce. Not the largest minority but not hard to spot either.

Another plague of Anglophone shows: Almost everyone's Greek name is shortened. Yes, we know their full names but we are told that we will use the short ones. Greeks and their "long and difficult" names am I right fellas? Because saying "Ariadne" apparently requires 5 years of Greek language training, and no English word ever has more than two syllables.

Coincidentally, short names are cool in Anglophone imaginary universes and the "long" names are not. it's so strange Anglophones never make universes where it's cool for Greek names to be spoken in full hmmm... They don't even want to practice saying a whole Greek name for just 2 minutes in preparation for a show full of Greek names. And don't give me that "Greek is hard" shit when we only talk about a few syllables. If Greek kids can learn English since first grade and people here can sing English songs and spell English names, you have no excuse.

They also said the name "Fotis" means light, which is close enough but... ugh.. It's like saying Sebastian means "respect". I am not sure if they asked anyone or what their research was here. If I had the writers in front of me, I'd be like:

(This character from an all-time favorite Greek show is called Fotis)

They also made the flag of "Krete" an alteration of the Greek flag and the local Cretan flag. Which is the stupidest move, because they had to remove the religious symbol of the cross to make the flag fit the universe. These are flags created based on 1) Christianity 2) the Greek Revolution of 1821.

National Greek flag to the left, local Cretan flag to the right:

Flag of the KAOS' "Krete":

The only time they seriously took into account anything Greek, was the time when they decided to remove the religious symbol of our ethnoreligion AND (from what I could observe) keep the nine stripes?? The nine stripes of our national flag represent the syllables in "Freedom or Death". The colors are from the white foustanela of the mainland attire and the dark blue vraka of the island attire, the clothing of the Revolution fighters. (That's more of a meta explanation but the characteristics of the flag were decided during and nearly after the Revolution.)

I think I don't have to explain it more but it's not a homage to put the nine stripes in an ancient era where they have no meaning, and to replace a cross??? Let's... not replace religious symbols on national flags, okay? Thank you.

Another cultural element they changed was making everyone have a dedicated coin to pay Charon. Orpheus has Euridice's coin, "her coin", and he's meant to put it on her before she got buried. In Greek culture, any coin would do. Sorry that our culture restricts your script, dear writers. I guess you had to bend this too, in order to create a cohesive plot with a semblance of a twist.

Finally, the many "Kerberus" dogs were cute and I can understand the creative decision behind that. However, in a show full of inaccuracies, this made me roll my eyes a little. I think the showrunners know that Kerveros is not a breed of dog, and there can only be one of him because he doesn't have any other "Kerveros" to breed with. On the other hand, as demonstrated from art/writing on the internet, quite a lot of Westerners are not exactly aware of how our monsters work, so forgive my uncertainty 😅

Nothing is Anything

Every element KAOS played with ended up meaningless. In the words of a Lifo article:

“Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of ‘Sons of Anarchy’. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean.”

The "River Styx" is a sea, the "River Lethe" is a lake, the gods are nothing more than spoiled humans, the Moirai are drag queens, the Cave is a club where you have to take a quiz to enter the underworld, and generally everything is modern, flat, mundane and anticlimactic. The producers aimed to achieve a work so meta that a "river" is now a concept, a metaphor, whatever you have in your heart. And those who want to see a river when we speak of a river are probably uncultured swines and don't understand postmodernism. Never mind that rivers are rivers in Greek mythology for a reason. That's not culturally interesting enough to explore compared to the new, cool approach of not assigning meaning to anything. That totally shows love for the original rich and meaningful material...

And the reason behind all this subversion? Probably the shock factor. They brought the characters to a point where they said "We have to save the world from Zeus" - Zeus! The father of gods, heroes and humans! - just because they could. It gives off a certain type of smugness that I personally don't like. I mean, I would like the smugness and cheekiness of KAOS if it wasn't a vapid and practically meaningless show. As nothing symbolizes anything anymore, we are just led from hollow plot point to hollow plot point.

If you cut it out of any cultural influence and see it as a story then it's... okay, I guess. But when you consider that it's meant to derive from certain material and it fails spectacularly, it's not a good story. It forgets its bases and doesn't play with the ancient elements at all. Disney's Hercules did it better, FFS!

Bad Writing (pt.1)

KAOS is not without recognizable themes but their demonstration is so juvenile and heavy-handed that it fails to influence a viewer of average intelligence. For instance, "Riddy" says to her religious mother "You dedicated your whole life to Hera, what about me?" Okay, KAOS, we get it. At the same time, this theme nulls itself because it turns out that Ridy's mother was right to do what she did, as she had a greater goal in mind. (And this, kiddos, is called Bad Writing, because your themes and scenes contradict each other)

The biggest theme I spotted was a criticism of religion and religious people who say "Do as I say, not as I do" and create exceptions for themselves. Only, it's not a criticism of anything real, in this case. It's a fact that some people in the clergy tend to preach peace and love and then they do harm, but we don't know, for example, that The Goddess of Marriage is a cheater and yet she pressures everyone into strict marriages. By focusing their wrath on divine beings who are not known for their hypocrisy, the creators missed the mark.

I can give KAOS props for how it handled Trojans to reflect real issues regarding how immigrants and war refugees are mistreated and blamed. I'd argue it was the only (nearly) well-done theme in the whole show because it had the least on-the-nose delivery and some genuine/serious scenes. But that's it.

More Bad Writing!

Jeff Goldblum's Zeus is shit. He'd crap his pants in an argument with a stern Greek dad/uncle his age. Is this character supposed to be intimidating? (Laughs in Mediterranean) That's not to say that Goldblum is not a good actor, but this role wasn't for him. The same can be said for the other actors, too. They are competent but they only give off the air of "The Greek gods if they lived in London, from the minds of people who think beards and body hair are an affliction". In addition to being misplaced, the actors cannot show their talent when following a script that resembles a children's book.

Why does THE GOD Dionysus have the maturity of a 15-year-old? I repeat, The God Dionysus. He's a freaking deity, and a very old one at that. He is not a teenager neither in appearance nor in experience. In our culture, he is mystical, mighty, wise. Why did they downgrade him so? Just for the plot? This is not Dionysus just because you named him so.

The dialogue rarely takes itself seriously to the point it has you wondering at times "Do people talk and behave like that?". In a comedy where everything is meant to be already extreme and parodied. Even in comedies, something must occasionally be serious so there is a healthy fluctuation in tone and the funny moments can hit you. In KAOS very few scenes treated their impactful dialogue as it should be treated.

The queerness and diversity (good elements, in general) were worse off for being in KAOS. Like, I want these elements to be there. I'm just sad about the whole situation. It's not enough that the show is shit, now you also give an additional reason for conservatives to shit on diverse and queer characters because they are part of a stupid narrative.

I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the queerness of Astyanax and Theseus being lovers in the context of this specific show but they're still the oddest pairing to me because they're from the most irrelevant myths and eras. Also, Astyanax in my mind is a baby who died tragically, for little reason if we are honest, so to bring him back and make him a love interest is... ekh.

In addition, isn't Astyanax supposed to be crippled after a fall from the city walls when he was a baby? Sorry to change subjects but the show is so convoluted and with so many issues that it's extremely difficult to stay on track with what's wrong.

To the person who thought this show was a good idea:

Whatever. Bye. I'm fucking done.

[britneyshakespeare]

do you ever feel like people only like chick-fil-a so much because they're not supposed to

[oldtvandcomics]

Book Shout-outs for Pride Month #1:

Ever wanted a series of lesbian superhero romances, all stand-alone, but set in the same universe and building off of each other (think Phase 1 MCU)?

Hearts of Heroes series by Molly J. Bragg. They're more romance than superheroes, but once you know what to expect it's GREAT.

Scatter is about a US Deputy Marshal who gets promoted to work with the team around the superhero Focus. From the first moment on, there is something strange between her and Focus, but only when she accidentally time travels back to the early 90's begins she to realize that she may be Focus' mysterious long-lost partner, Scatter.

Transistor is about a woman who gains superpowers because the doctors forget to deactivate the supercomputer used in her gender-affirming surgery. It only really becomes an issue when an angry angel comes after her neighbour and long-term crush, very determined to kill her.

Aether has a disabled protagonist, who dies when the building blows up during an experiment. Luckily for her, her consciousness gets somehow preserved, and she gains extremely strong powers. Now she just has to stop the guy who caused the accident from doing it again...

Rhapsody isn't out yet, but based on the summary, it is going to go more into the dragon side of the lore.

[bvckleykinard]

.

excuse me I'm annoyed and I'm gonna rant for a second :)

...

[giantkillerjack]

My first time watching Glass Onion it was obvious that Miles' speeches were bullshit, but I still searched for any hidden meaning there might be.

The second time is a different experience though because every time my brain starts to search for meaning, I feel like Benoit Blanc discovering that no, there is absolutely no hidden meaning.

It's bullshit it's all nothing nothing nothing! It is just how you end up talking when everyone reacts to your self-aggrandizing word vomit like it is actually wisdom.

Also, legit, when Miles gave his stupid bullshit speech about what the word 'disruptor' means to him, I shit you not I was like holy shit am I back in business school right now?!

Miles must have given speeches like that at 100 business school graduations, goddamn.

Like, the motherfuckers really do sound like this. We didn't have any billionaires come, but we had a lot of millionaire guest speakers in my classes, and they fucking talk like that.

They all think they're rugged capitalists, but they're just glass onions!

[daz4i]

how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

[cowboyhorsegirl]

Steve is most likely to end up in a lavender marriage and Tony's most likely to end up in a “married for tax/immigration/inheritance fraud” reasons.

They meet as married men and pine for each other hardcore and are also trying not to read too much into how their interest seems reciprocated and oh nooooo both Immigration/the IRS and the the Church/in-laws/DADT era army dudes or whatever are snooping around at the same time at each of their marriages and they have to be so good at being married at the people they are married to oh noooooo and they other guy doesn’t know why they are suddenly being iced out and maybe they were just imagining things? maybe it’s for the best with all these eyes around on them…

[bondsmagii]

the way books are advertised these days on god. it's either "[hit YA series] meets [recent TikTok sensation]/[widely accepted unproblematic TV show/movie] in this gripping story of love, acceptance, and healing from trauma" or it's every buzzword ever crammed into one sentence. like wow way to give me absolutely nothing girl

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ppl will be explaining how a difference is a difference & not a Deviation from a Superior state, & people who are the ones considered Default Normal (superior) will be like "okay....to be polite....i Might say i consider Some aspects of Some people's existence mere 'difference' & not being less than me...." as like hey i'm a Benevolent god. i still actually get to consider you worse & don't have to "humor" anything that challenges my superiority. if you only want everything to fit into the norm then it will all come back to upholding the norm. thinking of people's analysis of their own realities as equally legimate as being like Obscure, Irrelevant, Superficial & then using that reasoning to justify dismissing them. same as worrying that the [Different Lessers (Others(tm))] as Everywhere = a manifestation of the awareness that, yeah, respecting them as equals Does threaten your norm which is smothering everything everywhere. ppl who need to lock in the idea of Borders around personhood like um Yes they're all delineated separate Identities outside any hierarchy & so i think it's relevant to for some reason push back against "ohh so now Everyone's queer" like why not. why couldn't they be. what if they were. what if queerness was everywhere b/c it's ideological not a cordoned off Alternative Identity that is accommodated by focusing on Love(tm) as the new border around whose existence we might begrudgingly accept at arm's length (i.e. being otherwise "normal"! just imagine swapping out the binary gender (or, deep breath, presumed Private Parts) of one partner in an exclusive romantic lifelong nuclear family marriage, & that is Gay / Trans Rights. still gross but maybe we can do it, as long as they don't talk about it or shove it in our faces or even exist for more than one encounter w/us in our lives b/c what are the odds). evergreen laughing at someone suggesting ableist logic might be embedded in language of past & present b/c it's just So little to ask for that it's irrelevant but it's also So much to ask for that of course i'm not gonna do anything more than pass it along like "this is why i don't take ableism seriously" like yeah it's the disabled randos like it's the individual cringe teens(tm) ruining [the cishets would take Gender seriously otherwise!!!] & that's why you won't think about it or do anything about it & continue being comfortable with the norm & resent that actually their Difference is Less & disability is something worse that ppl "excuse" & all these ways that people are & all these things that they do are funny & weird & inexplicable & etc & one can't possibly be cruising along perpetuating a hierarchy with a sense that you're reasonable, well meaning, kind, etc etc & thus Justified, systemic oppression definitely wants to maximize how uncomfortable & arduous it feels to everyone rather than push to make it more streamlined & rewarding to embrace, or at least accept, whatever superiority over others you're afforded

[terryfuckingturniptruck]

Okay someone is going to be offended but whatever like fine if you find yourself as a lesbian thinking someone is hot and find out later they're a man and not a butch but like the way y'all are openly just pushing the idea that lesbians like men sometimes as if that's totally fine and that the man you thought was a butch is still okay to fuck knowing they're a man.

[foxgirlmoth]

I made it look like my gf told someone to seethe and cope over slur discourse how's everypony else doing tonight

I guess I wrote most of my thoughts in the notes oops

[matchbet-allofthetime]

REMINDER GO EVERYONE LGBT OR WHO SUPPORTS US!! (I've gone through every letter in lgbt at least once on my neverending journey, I'm allowed to say this)-

words like:

Butch

Dyke

Bulldyke

Faggot/fag

Muffmuncher

Cocksucker

Fruity

Gay

Queer

Homosexual

Transvestite/Transsexual/transgender (all ways to refer to those with different genders at birth to what they are and they are NOT outdated because they are STILL used, primarily by older queer folks and they deserve to be mentioned! Sick of the fucking discourse.)

Stone butch

Bulldagger

Faghag

Munch

Down-low

Tranny

Betty/a Betty Boop (very similar to femme and other related terms. Also seems to be colloquial to my general area?? Not sure if it or similar is used elsewhere, colloquial and local differences change a lot that you don't realize until you come across what it meansssss elsewhere. Used to refer to lesbians that are very traditionally femme and have big eyes and short hair. Also refers to specifically red lipstick wearers.

Bisexual (those who like men and women/the definition of bisexual most know widely and ALSO someone who is BOTH A MAN AND A WOMAN/ANOTHER COMBINATION. it has been and STILL IS used both ways. Respect that. The older generations coined many of your terms. Things change, but you don't get to tell someone how they identify.)

Bent

Bussy

En femme/en homme

Molly/Tommy

Tomboy/tomgirl

Flower/floral

Friend of Dorothy

Twink

Twunk

Batty/batty boy

Bender

Fairy

Fruit loop

Pansy

Sod

Bambi

Boi (UK origin, akin to dyke, butch, and tomboy)

Rug muncher

Kitty/pussy puncher/muncher

Muff diver

Stud

Pack o' cigs/Pack o' fags (self explanatory, this seems to be a colloquial term in my hometown and surrounding counties. Pack o' cigs is a pack of, traditionally, butches/dykes. Pack o' fags is the gay male equivalent. I grew up hearing this one directed toward me a LOT lmao)

AC/DC (pan/bi, swings whatever way. US term.)

Lady boy/boy girl/girl boy (can be used in many ways, but typically refers to a boy who is also a girl, a femme boy, femboy, or similar concepts)

Femboy

Traggot (a combining of tranny and faggot)

T girl/t guy/t boy

Trap (widely used even now as a slur or derogatory word, but I have met many who this is their identity to some degree. Respect that. They're queer too.)

Cuntboy/pussyboy/dick girl/girl dick

Fag stag

Bear

Pup

Cub

Bull

Silver fox

...And about a million other words through thousands of other anguages across the entire world-

Are NOT dirty, filthy, disgusting, nasty, used incorrectly, or "aren't to be used by anything other than XYZ individual in the LGBT community and nobody else."

They aren't dirty words. They aren't disgraceful or filthy unless the user of the term says "yeah, I'm fucking filthy! I'm disgraceful! Fuck yeah!"

If someone says they're a dyke? They're a fucking dyke. If someone says they're anything on this list or use any queer term? Fucking let them.

Here's why:

Use LGBT people have used any words thrown at us, handed to us, words we've been beaten with, words we've held onto with our lives and anger and love, words that have been used for us, against us, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, BY US for decades and in some cases even so long as a a century or more.

A masc straight woman is still called a dyke. A faggot. Thus, if she chooses, she's still a fucking dyke.

What we're always called or what we find fits us will always become our identity in some way or another somehow sometime.

That happens.

I've had every fucking word you've got and I guarantee ones you've never heard of thrown at me since I was a toddler, running around in mud-stained blue and red converse and a Barbie dress with a mohawk in my hair. I've heard them since I was in an AC/DC band tee, sparkly shorts, galaxy leggings, and glittery roller skates.

I and MILLIONS OF OTHERS LIKE ME, lgbt or otherwise, those who "I just dealt with what they called me. I was gonna be called that anyways so I don't care anymore. I have no gender/sexuality/preference/label/etc but I answer to it all/it's a part of me now but I'm not lgbt in my own mind" are FUCKING VALID FOR THIS.

Stop fighting your own fucking community. Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. I have been called everything on this list except for a few (because I am obviously not a bear when you look at me not a silver fox or whatever) my entire fucking life.

I am agender. I am aro/ace. I am also a faggot. A dyke. A butch. Nonbinary. Transsexual. Tranny. Pup. Boyslut. Fagdyke.

And so many others are like me like this. So many others consider these words a part of themselves.

These are OUR slurs to reclaim. These are words we made a d for the ones we didn't? We took them and wore them like fucking crowns. We wore them like they were our favourite collars, our favourite leather, our favourite words. We fucking own these words like we own ourselves and it is nobody's choice but your FUCKING OWN whether or not they're used.

Yes, there's nuance with some. I understand that. "Stud" for example is for lesbian OR "LESBIAN-APPEARING" BLACK AFABS! But I've been called stud and I am the whitest, pastiest bitch you'll meet. I continue to have black drag queens and kings and royalties and other black folk who are queer come up to me and tell me "oh baby you're such a handsome stud!" While at pride events.

I am and also am not a woman. Not a man but also I am. But I gleefully use the word dyke and fag and femboy and roseboy and pup and cub (my moddy's nickname for years was cub/cubby. Friends of theirs HAVE CALLED THEM THAT IN FRONT OF ME SINCE I WAS A BABY. thus I am called cub or cub's cub or similar.) And I use these words with nothing but pride and spite and joy and hate and love and fucking glee. Because they're mine. They're ours.

People of all kinds, all genders, all sexualities, all paths and walks of life, have been subjected at least a hundred times to at least one of these words if they're even slightly "not right" or different or weird or wrong in the eyes of whatever stupid ass societal expectations there are.

And they all deserve to use these words if they make them comfortable. These people KNOW they're lgbt terms. Fucking trust me. They learn from experience or get taught it by someone and either drop the terms or don't. That's their choice. And that choice is okay.

Stop attacking your own community. Stop attacking the "outsiders" because oftentimes the "outsiders" are part of us but don't feel like they can claim to be lgbt. Especially older generations. Older generations (which includes millennials and even a lot of older gen z and literally everyone alive) don't think they can consider or call themselves a part of us for numerous reasons.

These reasons can be it isn't safe for any variety of reasons, these people grew up being called these things and always claimed cis and/or get because the terminology at the time wasn't like it is now in the same way, certain genders were more accepted than others (IE bisexuals and lesbians and gays and straights was most of what you had, alongside men, women, and transgender man/woman, which were and still are seen as often groups, for better or worse.) And there wasn't fuck all else. Fucking nada. Zilch. Not in most cultures, certainly not in fucking America. These people are often part of us even if they don't consider themselves as being part of us.

Definitions have changed. Contexts have changed. You'll find that we (and this is ESPECIALLY going out to any gen z out here)- we have called ourselves whatever the fuck we have wanted to forever. And we always will. And we always should. We will reclaim terms/slurs and make new terms and shit, I love being called a slur, by my own people or people who intend it to hurt me. It's fucking funny.

It has all changed and will continue to. That's the way it is. Don't discount other people's experiences or histories or whatever else just because you don't know the full story or "I just don't like it". News flash- isn't your fucking life babes.

Anyways, long-ass rant over. Needs to be said. I'm sayin it.

Any beautiful, handsome, fantastic motherfuckers out there who wanna comment your identity, favourite terms for yourself, etc? Wanna call me a slur, regardless of which way, good or bad, you intend it?

Light me the fuck up, yo. Hand me the lighter and pass the weed, I've always liked playing with fire.

[lesbiancocksucker]

just saw someone claim using identity lists is better than just using the word queer for EVERYONE because it's personally triggering for them

[quatregats]

Read Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe and I feel like I have been stripped to my soul, in like a good way though