#i get too sad when i can’t sleep and it’s the number one turn off in the entire world :(

[napping-sapphic]

actually the amount i yearn is directly proportional to how much i sleep and considering i only got to sleep for an hour and a half last night i would say that we are in the TRENCHES today my loves

[flowerfreya]

Cherry Wish

Deny

Cherry Wish Masterlist

Pairing: Omega!Simon x Alpha!Soap x Beta!Reader

Content: Johnny and Simon are in a established ten year relationship and Reader works at a grocery store, hasnt been in a relationship in three years and can't go to sleep without Nyquil, and they want her but she likes to be alone (not really, in fact it's quite the opposite)

They found you working at the grocery store. Immediately enthralled. Had to have you. Their one collective brain cell couldn’t think anything other than mine.

Simon and Soap have been together for 10 years, never thinking about taking a third, of course they have bouts. One night stands but the longest they had kept one was for a month. It doesn’t usually work out, they don’t discriminate with designation either , Beta, Omega, Alpha it’s really up to them. 

But your scent calmed them , smelled like fresh laundry and lavender and one of those perfect fall days. 

~

You smiled at them when you saw them, just like how you did with any other customer. You’re kind of over today , just wanted to go home and curl up with a good book and maybe some wine and Nyquill. You are checking them out with all their stuff , when you glance up again and see that they are just smiling at you. You give them a brighter smile and a small and awkward , okay. You haven’t seen two Alphas in a relationship for a long time, it’s actually very uncommon but not impossible. Good for them. 

“Hi”, the  one with the mohawk says. 

“Hi” you reply back hoping to be polite but also get the point across that you don’t really want to talk. 

“You smell nice”, the taller one says , which has you giving him a wide eyed stare. God damnit. Of course they are weird. It’s always the cute ones that are fucking wierdos. You know your beta and most of the time betas are with other betas, considering that the only gender that can really make an alpha’s knot comfortable is omegas. It is possible for other genders too , but it’s a lot of stretching , prepping , and messy. 

For a beta, you do have a pretty strong scent, multiple people have told you that, but that is about where the similarities stop with identifying with omegas. 

Mohawks gives the bigger guy an elbow to the gut and shake his head, “What he means is that you are really pretty and maybe you would like to go out with us?”. 

You’re unamused but you know some men can’t take the fucking hint, “I have a boyfriend”, you shrug in a what can you do motion, “sorry” , you tac on just in case. 

“You don’t smell like you have a boyfriend”, tall one chides. 

“What’s it to you?” , you reply back, who the hell does this Alpha thinks he is talking to you like that. I mean he’s right you don’t have a boyfriend, haven’t had one in three years, you wouldn’t smell like someone else even if you wanted to. 

“Woah, woah,woah, let's calm down everyone, no harm done, `M sorry hen didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” , you can smell him pushing off a calming scent. 

“He started it”, you mumble under your breath. Looking up at the tall Alpha. And when he quickly shifts his eyes down it shocks you. Most alphas would stare you in the eye until you broke but not this one. Maybe he was broken. 

“Stop”, mohawks chastise the tall one , and he bows his head and sort of shrinks into himself, smelling of shame and humiliation. 

Oh. 

Oh

An omega. Interesting, you’ve never seen one so big and tall and so Alpha. It’s interesting, and you want to know more. 

Mohawk turn back towards you, “Sorry about him, I guess he forgot all his training at home” , he laughs at the end , you guess trying to make everything a joke, “Anyway, thank you for all your help, and see you around”, you watch them leave , feeling confused and sad and more lonely than you felt in a long time, maybe you should have gave them you number but maybe not.

Simon is angry at Soap , “You know she doesn’t have a boyfriend”. 

“I know that” , he replies, calm, cool, collected, it makes him mad that he’s not upset about this. 

Simon stumps his feet, having a tantrum, “So why can’t we take her out”, he whines. Soap already put the groceries in the back and is moving to the front of the car but to the passenger side, since he can’t drive because he could just pass out. Randomly. With no warning, so no driving for him. 

“If she lied about having a boyfriend, she obviously didn’t want to go out with us”, Simon knows that, he just doesn’t understand why. It’s making him upset and he knows he’s stinking up the car but he can’t help it. He put his foot on the brake and is just about to push the button when Soap stops him , “You okay to drive?”

“Maybe I need to take a second”, Simon answered, as an Omega, getting rejected is hard and it makes his emotion all over the place but usually the only one that gets conveyed is anger, “She smells so good”, he groans out. 

“I know hen, don’t worry, we’ll figure something out”, Soap answers with authority that only an Alpha with a plan would have. 

[starhvney]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟖: 𝐒𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘

𝐂𝐖: lots of cussing(reader is done with the bs), a bit of violence, nothing else though? kind of a fluffy and slice of life chapter after that!

𝐀/𝐍: new chapter! i hope you guys enjoy :) it felt a bit rushed but it's out nonetheless

𝐖𝐂: 6,800 +

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

“a sleepover?”

“yeah! i’ve never had one, but don’t you think inviting a few of our girl friends over would be really fun?” aphmau chirps.

how does she manage to be this energetic so early every morning? especially when you both were up so late last night.

“plus… i was talking to my mom about everything that happened and she thought it would be a good idea. you know, to get close with supportive friends and take our minds off… everything.” she continues, lacing her fingers together behind her back as we walked.

you nod slowly, eyes drifting down to the pavement. it was so easy to get caught up in all of the drama you’ve been subjected to that it makes you forget the actual friends you’ve made—which was a much higher number than you had been expecting when you got to this school. a little reminder wouldn’t hurt, that’s for sure.

“that’s… a really good idea, aph.”

“i know! i wasn’t super sure who all to invite though, so i figured i’d ask you, and then maybe katelyn?” she asks, a bit unsure. “i’ve never had a slumber party though, so i was stressing over both the gene situation and trying to think of activities to do last night.”

to be honest, with your morning brain, you didn’t hear most of that. “kate’s cool. she’ll know what to do.”

“i thought so too!”

“hey guys!”

you both turn to see laurance jogging up to you two, lips curled up in a fond smile as he waves you down. 

“oh!” both you and aphmau stumble as he wraps an arm around each of your shoulders, dragging you with him as he slows to a walk.

“well good morning to you, too,” you snort. “you didn’t say you were walking this morning. we would’ve waited.”

“yeah, i didn’t know until the last minute either. cadenza has been fighting off some bad senioritis this year, so she decided right as we were supposed to leave that she was gonna skip today.” he sighs.

“if i was allowed to skip i would too. i don’t blame her,” you muse.

“same.” aphmau blows away a strand of hair from her eyes and sags her shoulders.

“woah, you two. you’re a sophomore and you’re only a freshman, aphmau. you guys can’t talk like that when you’re not even halfway done.” laurance squeezes both of your shoulders before letting go, walking between you two.

“oh come on, like you’ve never wanted to fake sick for school,” aphmau jabs.

laurance shrugs, light chuckles falling from his lips. “…i guess i have on occasion.”

he glances over at you, his expression slightly falling. he tilts his head, poking your cheek.

“hey, you look really tired.”

“gee, thanks.” you deadpan, causing him to chortle out a sudden laugh.

“no! i don’t mean you don’t look good, you just look really sleepy. your eyes are all…” he tilts his head, squinting his own eyes and giving you a sad puppy look. “…like you’re gonna fall asleep standing up.”

your eyes roll as you shake your head, gently pushing his face away with a scoff. “surely i don’t look that pathetic. but i did have trouble sleeping last night.”

“same.” aphmau sighs again.

the three of you are at the school’s steps by now, making your way up to the school doors just as the first bell can be heard from inside.

“crap, i can’t be late again!” aphmau turns to you and laurance, giving a small wave as she already starts to take off. “bye guys! see you at lunch!”

and she’s running through the doors, her purple hair ribbon bouncing as she rounds the corner.

“she does know there’s five minutes until the tardy bell, right?” laurance muses, eyebrows raised as you both watch her disappear through the halls.

“she’s being proactive, laurance,” you say, bringing your hand to your chest with a sentimental expression. “not too long ago was baby’s first detention, and now look at her go. they really do grow up so fast.”

laurance brings his hand to his face as he cackles. “this again! that’s so,” he takes in a breath, “dumb!”

“i'm impressed at how fast those little legs can run. soon it’ll be baby’s first track meet. aren’t you so proud?”

“shut up, i’m begging!” he rests his hand on your shoulder as he silences his giggling, before suddenly straightening up and staring at you with a solemn face. “not funny.”

“rude! last time i try to keep an inside joke with you!” you huff, crossing your arms and sending him a scornful look back. 

“no no! i was kidding!”

“my biggest hater, for real.” you shake your head in disappointment.

laurance draws out your name with a pout, leaning into your side dramatically.

“ok fine i forgive you!” you bump him back into standing straight. “you sure you should be captain of the soccer team? i’m thinking drama club is calling your name.”

“what are you trying to say, huh?” he narrows his eyes.

“you’re a,” you cup your hands around your mouth. “drama. queen.”

laurance sticks his tongue out at you. “if you can’t handle it when i sass you back, just say that.”

you hold up a hand, rolling your eyes as you rush ahead of him to get into homeroom first. 

“hey, wait,” laurance says, suddenly sounding serious as he pulls you back by your arm.

you turn to look at him, nervously side stepping out of the way as some girls give you a once over before going inside. laurance still hasn’t let go of your arm.

“what is it?”

“just… you’re good, right?” he looks a bit worried, briefly glancing around at the other students as his hand subconsciously tightens. “i know i’ve kinda been annoying you about this whole situation with… you know. but-”

“it’s fine. i’m not going to talk to any of them anymore.” you stop his rambling, patting his hand.

seeming to realize how urgent he was sounding, laurance straightens his back and clears his throat, letting go of your arm. his expression shifts to relief and a slight twinge of sheepishness.

“…you’re not?”

“no. i…” you sigh. “almost got in a bad situation because of them, so. i’m cutting them off, even if they spread rumors.”

“can’t you just tell me what they’re using against you?”

the halls still lingered with other students, many of which could likely be in earshot of your conversation. based on laurance’s popularity and the girl and boy who conveniently just stopped to lean on the wall next to him, you were sure your discussion was not private here.

“i will. but, it’s too complicated to explain here. just know you don’t have to worry about it anymore. okay?”

he nods, sighing before giving you a brief smile. “…okay.”

“and you aren’t annoying me. i really appreciate you looking out for me, laurance.”

“yeah, of course. you’d do the same for me, right?”

“of course.”

☆

is it criminal to use the bathroom in this school or are you haunted by some sort of ghost that sends bad side quests your way anytime you needed to take a piss?

you genuinely needed to use the restroom, but the universe apparently forbids you from doing so as you stare down gene him-fucking-self standing in your way.

you suppose you have to go through with what you agreed with aphmau and told laurance, anyways. avoiding him would only prolong this confrontation. it was still intimidating though, especially with how he towered over you, leaning in and pressuring you to agree on his every whim without even needing to say a word.

“are you ever in class or do you like staring at the school’s hallway floors that much?”

“kitty! i’ve been looking for you all day.” he completely ignores your jab. “we’re going to skip again.”

the face you make is involuntary, lips curling into a grimace and eyebrows turning up. “didn’t you promise you wouldn’t ask me to do that again?”

“i changed my mind.”

“like hell you did. i’m not skipping.” you quip back, crossing your arms.

“what was that?” gene cups a hand around his ear, leaning in. “you want a certain picture to—”

“hey, gene!” a familiar voice interrupts your lovely conversation.

you look over to see zane, his face looking really hopeful considering his usual lack of excitement. he looks so young right now, with his round freckled cheeks and icey eyes widening as he notices you. in just the month it’s been since you had met him, you swear he’s gotten just a bit taller.

no. he doesn’t look up to gene, does he?

gene’s face shifts to something genuinely scary. you could tell it was anger, or maybe just annoyance, but his face didn’t contort or wrinkle. instead his jaw sets, dark blue eyes eerily flicking over to the boy.

“not you again.” he takes a long stride closer to the boy, before putting full force into shoving him over onto the floor. “i told you to stay away from us.”

“what the fuck?!” you interject, hand clasping onto his blazer and trying to pull him back from zane. he doesn’t move much from your efforts, though he does look back at you and grabs onto your wrist.

a small groan of pain can be heard from the ro’meave. it looked and sounded like he fell hard.

“c’mon. we’re going.” he says, attempting to walk away with you in tow.

“no the fuck we aren’t.” you snap, ripping your hand from him and stepping back.

you watch as gene’s eyebrows fall, his tongue running across the inside of his lip.

“excuse me?” his voice is even and low, and it makes your stomach turn.

“i couldn’t give less of a damn what you do with the picture or what you tell people. i’m done with your shit.”

your hands are shaking. pins and needles.

his chin lifts, jaw shifting before setting back in place as he looks down at you. “…fine.”

“…what?”

“you and your little freshman win. fighting with you would be a bore. so if you’re done, you're done.”

you stare at him, eyebrows pinched together and mouth cracked open. “just like that?”

“yep.” he raises his hands before swinging them by his sides, backing his way down the hall. “enjoy class. i’ll see you later.”

he disappears off down the hall, but the tense air he created doesn’t leave. you have a hard time believing that, but it’s not your biggest concern as you turn and rush over to zane. he was now sitting up, still grimacing in pain.

“zane! are you okay?” you ask, holding a hand out for him to take.

he whips his head up to you with a glare, slapping your hand away as he stands up on his own, taking a few steps away from you.

“you made me look like a fucking loser in front of gene!” he says, voice cracked and face twisted in an ugly snarl.

you stare at him in complete bewilderment. “you were hurt.”

“obviously, i was! but i don’t need your help!” he snaps.

oh, this little… a tense angry chuckle leaves your lips.

“i just stood up for you, you little brat.” you grit.

he starts stepping backwards as you slowly start to advance on him, his upset and twisted expression turning into worry.

“yeah. i know your brothers, your dad, and your mom, you little shit. get over here.” you quicken your steps, fists clenched.

he turns around, sprinting down the hall with a yelp. you sprint after, still shaking from adrenaline. zane is still faster, and he doesn’t look back as he sprints off down a corner far away from you.

“i know where you live!” you shout after him, slowing down and stopping, catching your breath.

around the corner turns aphmau, who looks between you and most likely zane still running away with widened eyes and pure confusion on her face. “um…”

you place your hands on your hips. “restroom?”

“y-yeah?”

you spin on your heels, clasping your hands together in thanks that finally one thing can be easy for you, with the girl’s restroom being right there. “debrief.”

“…wh- okay.” aphmau sighs, following after you into the swinging doors.

pausing by the sinks, you both stare at each other with blank looks.

“so…”

“gene’s not going to bother us anymore.”

“what?! how do you know?” she leans forward, thin eyebrows shooting up. 

“i essentially told him to fuck off.”

“what—”

“and he said he was done since i fought back. i don’t know how much i believe that, but. it’s what he said.”

aphmau’s mouth is open and attempting to form words, but only confused noises come out. “o…kay? so what about zane just now…?”

“he just pissed me off but he’s fine.”

she blinks. “if you weren’t my friend i think i’d be scared of you.”

you scratch your head. “me?”

“yes, you! you told gene hyun to eff off and then chased another boy down the hallway as he ran away in fear! and both of them are scary and tall.”

you snort. “you shouldn’t be afraid of zane, he’s a dork.”

“a mean one!”

you shake your head, and after a moment you quietly start laughing and bring a hand to your eyes.

“what?”

“it’s only october.”

aphmau goes quiet, her lips pressing together. with a sigh she leans forward, going limp against you like a sack of potatoes and groaning.

you grunt at the sudden weight but quickly steady yourself, taking the opportunity to hug her back. closing your eyes you calm your nerves from the moment, wrinkling your nose when you feel tears threateningly prick against your eyelids.

the squeak of the bathroom door opening and the comforting deep voice of your blue haired friend cuts into the moment.

“woah, what’s going on here?”

you peek open an eye, extending one of your arms out towards her. katelyn raises an eyebrow but doesn’t ask, the taller girl walking over and wrapping her arms around the both of you. 

a few seconds pass. “so, why are we hugging in the girl’s bathroom at ten in the a.m.?”

“because we want to,” aphmau says.

“well okay then,” she wheezes. “sorry for asking.”

all three of you break out into giggles, leaning against the other before finally pulling away. realization dawns on you as you stare up at katelyn, and you shoot a pointed look to aphmau.

“what?…ooooohhhhh katelyn!” she spins and grabs onto katelyn’s arms.

“oh goodness,” she snorts. “yes?”

“sleepover. you, me, her… and who else?”

“a sleepover? that’s exciting.” katelyn smiles, looking between you two. “you’re asking me who else to invite?”

you both nod, and she chuckles before humming off in thought for a second.

“well, there’s teony and nicole! they’d be fun to invite… and i guess lucinda too.” she sarcastically rolls her eyes before looking back to aphmau. “how does that sound?”

aphmau nods with a bright smile. “perfect! i wanna make all the invitations asap!”

“like, physical ones? we can just ask them or send them a text.” you raise an eyebrow.

aphmau’s face falls sheepishly, and she taps her fingers against each other. “yeah…”

immediate guilt hits you at her disappointment.

“physical invitations! a perfect idea!” 

“yeah! it’s gonna be so cute you should totally do that!” katelyn rushes to say after you.

aphmau’s eyes light up again, making you and katelyn huff in relief.

“you think so? ahh!” aphmau squeals, clapping her hands together. “i can make them by tomorrow so they’ll have enough time to plan if they can come or not on friday! this is my first sleepover so i wanted to make the invitations extra cute. also, what should we do when…”

☆

“i accidentally invited someone else instead of nicole.”

“…huh?” you and katelyn lean across the lunch table.

“what do you mean you invited someone else on accident?”

aphmau wiggles in her spot across from you two, face sheepish and shoulders raised defensively. “i put the invitation on the wrong desk… i thought it was nicole’s but it wasn’t.”

“ugh, aphmau! you had one job!” katelyn groans, rolling her head forward. you reach out to keep her hair from falling in the school’s mediocre meal. “why didn’t you just say it was a mistake and take it back!

“i’m sorry! but i couldn’t! the girl i gave the invitation to is super duper sweet and she was so excited that i noticed and gave her the invitation i couldn’t tell her no!”

“who was it?” you question.

“nana ashida. she offered to bake for us and everything.”

you recall the pink-haired meif’wa you’d come across a few times before, the girl always soft and cheerful anytime you greeted her. “aw, i’ve met her before! she’s super cute.”

katelyn blows a strand of hair from her face. “well, we can still invite nicole, right?”

the girl taps on her tray nervously. “yeah… my mom might scold me for inviting too many girls but i’d feel bad if we didn’t invite her.”

“ask for forgiveness and not permission, that’s my motto.” katelyn nods, crossing her arms and pressing her lips.

“…that’s an awful motto.”

“hey! i’m still a good girl! sometimes you gotta work around the stupidly strict rules adults have.” katelyn quips back, pointing her fork at aphmau. “and you’re the one who got detention on the first week, so you’re one to talk…”

“hey!”

“what’re you three squabbling about over here?” garroth sets his tray down next to you, laurance taking the spot across from him.

“these two planned a little sleepover this weekend with some of the girls. aren’t they the cutest?” katelyn says, pulling you into her with one arm and reaching over to pinch aphmau’s cheek with her other.

“aw, well that’s nice.” garroth smiles, giggling and poking your cheek when you attempt to wiggle out of kate’s arm to no avail. damn she was strong. “any occasion, or just cause?”

you shrug, groaning when katelyn’s arm shifts into a faux headlock. “just—ugh!—just cause.”

garroth smiles that perfect grin, not seeming even slightly fazed by katelyn’s behavior. “well i hope you have fun. i’ve been meaning to plan a hangout at my house but i haven’t gotten to it yet.”

katelyn releases you with a cackle when you start pointing at her arm, going back to eating her food like nothing happened when you shoot her a glare.

“i know this is random,” garroth adds, twisting his chocolate milk carton around on the cafeteria table. “but speaking of you and aphmau i heard my mom talking about the both of you on the phone when i went downstairs the other night.”

great.

“oh, did you?” you fix your hair with a small laugh, glancing at aphmau from the corner of your eye. she’s staring with her cheeks stuffed, jaw frozen.

“yeah, sounded like drama or something with a boy.”

“uh oh…” katelyn leans in with a teasing tone. “were you two fighting over a guy? and i didn’t know about it?”

laurance is resting his chin on his hand, silently staring with an unreadable expression.

you wave your hands at everyone in a panicked dismissal. “no, no! it was nothing like that!”

garroth looks at you with a guilty smile, nudging katelyn away gently by her shoulder. “sorry, i didn’t mean to embarrass you. i just suddenly remembered and wanted to make sure you were okay. she sounded upset, so…”

“i just got into an argument, is all. aphmau, too. and you know how our moms are! they were just wanting to tell each other about it. but it’s all taken care of now, so no worries.”

please just drop it, sweet garroth.

he slowly nods, scratching the nape of his neck. “okay, good. sorry, that was an awkward time to bring it up.”

you shake your head. “you’re fine, garroth. thanks for checking.”

he shrugs with a relaxed grin. “if someone bothers you though, you should tell me.”

“mhm… i’ve realized i should open up more, so i will…”

“good.”

☆

aph: i’m nervous can you come earlier pls pls pls

you: omg hahaha

you: it’s just our friends

aph: i know but still T-T i’m just nervous idk what to do

you: i’m just teasing

you: i’m already packed and changed so i can go over rn

aph: yayayatatheiowocoajkdl

aph: ok i’ll be waiting :,)

“mija! you look so cute in your little pj’s! look at you!” sylvanna squeals, pulling you into the house and spinning you in a hug.

“thank—! you—!”

“mom! stop trying to steal my friend!”

“she’s my friend now, yo!” sylvanna giggles, sending a wink to the girl standing bewildered on the staircase before running and dragging you with her to the kitchen.

“that’s so not cool! you are so not my homegirl right now.”

sylvanna gasps like she just took a bullet to the chest. “i’m making snacks for you and all your little friends and you say this to me?!”

“word, yo.” aphmau crosses her arms, tapping her bunny slipper against the tiled floor.

the two burst out in laughter, and you can’t help but follow at the contagious sound.

“no, but seriously.” aphmau deadpans, and sylvanna shuffles over to the speaker she has set up on the counter.

“i’m just trying to hype you both up! ah! my mija is growing up so fast!” she flicks on the play button and single ladies by beyoncé comes on. “oh girl, i have tons of games you and your girl friends can—!”

“mom.” aphmau huffs. “this is my sleepover. not yours, remember?”

sylvanna starts swaying her hips and shaking her shoulders in a little dance. “well, i just—”

“mom!”

“…you’re right. sorry mija.” sylvanna sags her shoulders, but even aphmau’s rejection can’t seem to completely dampen her need to dance along to beyoncé.

you can’t help but feel bad, even though aphmau was kind of in the right here. shimmying up to her side, you start to imitate her dance moves, circling around the woman.

“ahhhh!” she cheers, clapping her hands and dancing around with you. “yes, girlfriend!”

aphmau stares at the both of you in horror, which only fuels her energetic mother as she starts to sing along and direct you to spin with her around the short girl.

“put your hands up!”

“i can’t believe you two right now! i’m going upstairs to finish getting my room ready!” aphmau groans, dashing from between the both of you to the staircase.

sylvanna leans into you, gold jewelry clinking as she claps her hands onto your shoulders and giggles.

“oh, isn’t she just the cutest? you are too, sweetie.” she coos, before spinning away from you and shuffling back towards the stove. “i’m going to finish up these snacks. why don’t you go upstairs, too?”

“okay, enjoy your jam sesh,” you muse, smiling as she points a finger up in the air and pops a hip.

“you bet i will, yo!”

aphmau wrinkles her nose at you when you shuffle into her room, sticking her tongue out. she’s shuffling through some magazines she has spread out on her carpet, most of them being from teen vogue, cosmopolitan, and seventeen. there’s a little basket of nail polishes beside her and near her tv you see a small dvd case opened to what looked like a few chic flics and rom-coms.

“you’ve got everything set up and planned, huh?”

“yeah… i’m sure everything will flow nicely once we’re all here and talking, but i wanted some things for backup just in case things get awkward or we don’t know what to do,” she says, pumping a fist with a determined face. “i’m going to make sure my first sleepover is the best sleepover!”

you set down your bag next to her bed, smiling at her explanation. “i think this is gonna be great.”

“i think so too!” she beams, before scrambling up from where she sat and running over to her desk. “and! i also have this camera i got recently and we can have a little photoshoot… if we wanted. and i also got this speaker so we can all listen to some music while we talk!”

you clap excitedly. “bravo! aphmau is the best sleepover planner in all of phoenix drop high!”

she takes a few bows while giggling, before brushing off fake dust from her shoulders. “no biggie, easy work for me!”

“i love your pajamas, by the way. they’re adorable.”

pastel pink flannel pants paired with an off-the-shoulder white sweater and bunny slippers to match? she really looked like a cute protagonist from a teen romance movie.

aphmau gasps, setting her hands on her hips as she looks down. “o-m-g, thank you so much! i love yours too!”

“thanks–” a knock from downstairs interrupts you two, and aphmau doesn’t waste a second before sprinting to her door and to her staircase.

“hold on!” you giggle elatedly after her, sprinting down the staircase as she flings open the door.

lucinda and teony wait outside, the latter clicking the lock button on a yellow volkswagon beetle that now sat in the driveway.

“is that yours, teony? it’s so cute!” aphmau squeaks, leaning into her doorway to get a better peek.

“yep! i got my license at the beginning of this month after i turned sixteen in september!” teony excitedly smiles.

recently she had gotten her hair styled into knotless goddess braids, the light brown color she chose perfectly contrasting against her skin and framing her round face. lucinda looked like a total bombshell as she always did, her skin glowing and ginger hair blown out into perfect curls.

“i’m so jelly! i want a cute bug when i get my first car! oooh, and it’s a convertible? you have to take me for a ride in it sometime.”

“well since you asked, of course i will.”

the four of you snack on the fruit kebabs with caramel dip and churros that sylvanna had prepared for everyone in the kitchen, and another knock on the door comes not long after. nana came in, the meif’wa sporting the sweetest eager smile on her face as she held up a red velvet cake she baked for everyone. after hoarding all of the snacks upstairs into the bedroom there’s a knock on the door again, and aphmau dashes back downstairs to let in katelyn and nicole.

“so, cutie,” lucinda shuffles next to you, nudging your shoulder with hers and playfully fluttering her eyelashes at you. “do you know what aphmau has planned for tonight?”

teony and nana sit across from you two, leaning in anticipation as they shuffle through the magazines laid out.

“oh, i don’t know!” you shrug your shoulders. “she has some movies, music… these silly magazine quizzes.”

“i think they’re fun!” nana giggles, picking one up. “don’t you want to know what love language you are? or when you’ll meet your next love?”

teony breaks out into an amused grin, picking up a few herself. “perfect kiss tips you have to try? and am i in love with my guy best friend? ooh la la, why does aphmau have these?”

the girl in question comes back in through the door, the final two guests following in behind. they both looked cute, nicole sporting a tank top with basketball shorts, and kate with some flowy pants with suns and moons on it and a form fitting blue tee.

nana shifts in place when she sees nicole, the two awkwardly waving at each other as the girls join the circle on the ground.

“what’s up guys?” katelyn inquires, tapping her hands on the carpet.

“we were just wondering what was on little aphmau’s agenda.” lucinda coos, looking over to the freshman with a small tilt of her head.

“oh, uh.” aphmau starts, tucking her legs up under her chin when everyone looks over to her. “we could all watch a movie! have you guys seen twilight?”

everyone nods.

“oh, aphmau, darling, dearest.” lucinda playfully tilts her head. “everyone’s seen twilight, what rock have you been living under?”

“homeschool.”

“i think jasper is so hot.” nana giggles behind her hand, and katelyn groans.

“can we not talk about twilight? it is such a horrible movie.”

“says the one who has a poster of it in her closet…” lucinda teases.

“and has a copy of the book on her shelf…” nicole adds with a snicker.

“ugh! both of you, i swear—”

the group starts to giggle, and teony speaks up in her student council tone before the three can start squabbling again. “okay, you three. i don't want to see any fighting between the two of you. it's little aphmau's first sleepover, so let's make it a good one.”

aphmau giggles nervously. “sorry guys, i’m not too sure what happens at sleepovers.”

“well, we can start with a bit of gossip.” lucinda wiggles her eyebrows. “you know, just a little way to get to know each other more and talk about stuff.”

teony comically purses her lips, crossing one leg over the other and placing both hands on her knee. “i love gossip. do tell.”

“okay, fine.” katelyn says, before standing and striding over to the open window. “but first let’s shut this. don’t want any secrets getting out.”

“who’s gonna hear us from the window?” aphmau questions, eyebrows raised.

“you never know.” she slides the window shut, flicking the lock before returning to the circle.

“i’ve got something. why don’t we talk about ivy?” lucinda raises a brow, her nose wrinkling in distaste. “did you guys see her hanging all over garroth the other day?”

your eyes dart to aphmau, before inconspicuously turning to glance at everyone. there seems to be a collective grimace on everyone’s faces, even nana who quietly nods with a little frown. aphmau stares back at you for a split moment, seeming surprised.

“she’s so pathetic. she does that bitchy thing where when you say something she looks at you like you said something stupid or wrong.” katelyn rolls her eyes. “like give me a break and get over yourself. so glad she didn’t end up joining the volleyball team, i might’ve strangled her.”

“for once, i agree with you there.” lucinda sassily nods. “her nice girl act is really irritating.”

“well, garroth is super hot!” nana says, the sweet freshman seeming unaware of ivy’s existence.

“no need to play devil’s advocate, nana. ivy sucks.” lucinda says. “but, you can say that again about garroth. laurance is pretty hot, too.”

“ew!” katelyn fakes a gag in disgust. “teony can you believe this?!”

“i’m personally not into them, but you can’t deny they’re cuties, kate.” teony chides, shrugging her shoulders.

katelyn rolls her eyes. “ugh, fine. they aren’t ugly, i’ll give them that.”

“jeffory is cuter, huh?” lucinda snickers, mischievously prodding at the blue haired girl.

“lucinda!” she shouts in offense, her pale skin turning pink against her cheekbones.

there’s a collective ooh and giggle in the group, before nana pipes up again.

“jeffory, like, the senior? i can totally see katelyn with him! i ship it!”

aphmau gasps. “wait, nana. you ship things too?!”

glancing over at teony, you happen to make eye contact with her. the poor academic looks completely confused, eyebrows pinched as she glances back over to the younger girls.

“um, ladies? what does a boat have to do with this?”

nana grins at her, seeming excited to explain. “shipping is when you want to put two people together who you can see in a relationship. get it? it's usually just for fun!”

“seems innocent enough.” katelyn supposes with a shrug.

you, nana, and aphmau laugh at the same time.

“have you ever been in a shipping fandom, katelyn?” aphmau asks.

“…nope. this is the first i’ve ever heard of this.”

aphmau nods solemnly. “you sweet child.”

a part of you cringes internally.

“i’m older than you?”

“in any case, i ship a lot of people together at school! and i definitely ship katelyn and jeffory.” nana gushes.

lucinda leans back on her hands. “well, you don’t have to, becau—”

katelyn suddenly jumps up from sitting cross-crossed onto her knees, looking like she may leap across the group to knock out the ginger with her bare hands. “lucinda, that’s nobody else’s business!”

aphmau awkwardly laughs, looking over at you.

“geez, fine fine. but you know, it's not a secret. you make zero effort to hide it at school.” lucinda giggles.

“i honestly thought it was public knowledge…” you add, and katelyn deflates onto the floor with a huff.

“uh…” aphmau rocks in place as she finds a subject change. “nana, you said you ship a lot of people together at school?”

nana nods with a cute little smile. “mhm! even you!”

“oh no…” you mutter, remembering your first encounter with the meif’wa and her giggling over aphmau and that aaron guy.

“really? who?” aphmau questions, her eyes drifting off in thought. “like… someone like gar—”

“with that one scary guy you’re always arguing with!” nana chirps, and aphmau’s jaw drops.

“what?!”

“scary guy?” katelyn questions, looking to lucinda who clarifies.

“the tall one that doesn’t talk to anyone?”

“with the scratched up face?” teony adds.

aphmau looks horrified.

“oh yeah… now i know who you’re talking about! what’s his name?” katelyn looks between them.

“yeah, i know who that is. aaron lycan right? has a ton of detentions?” nicole leans in, elbows resting on her knees.

“you can’t be serious, nana!” aphmau huffs.

“i’m totes serious! i’ve seen it!” nana insists, pointing at you. “she has, too!”

aphmau whips her head at you with an accusing glare and you turn to stare at the posters on the wall. 

“i just like what i see! he stands up for you and stares when you’re not looking!” nana adds on, trying to drive home her point. 

“ugh! no way! that guy is a complete jerk! not in a million years would i ever even consider being with that guy!” aphmau fumes, crossing her arms.

“what about that cute little freshman with the braces that’s been crushing on katelyn?” lucinda teases.

“you mean travis?” you ask, glancing over.

“ugh, no…” katelyn groans.

“aw, i think he’s sweet,” you say, aphmau nodding along.

“and already the best of friends with dante,” nicole adds in with a grimace, clearly having distasteful feelings for the boy in question.

nana is suddenly quiet, biting at the inside of her cheek and ears flat against her hair, ruffling the cute pink bows tied near them.

“and that’s all i need to know to say hard pass.” katelyn says.

“oh.” you press your lips together, eyes darting to nicole. “were you one of the ones he dated and…”

“yep.” she deadpans, popping the p. “and poor nana here was the other one. we’re cool though.”

nana nods sheepishly. “yeah… nicole and i had no idea the other was dating him. it was very much a middle school summer fling for him i think. he has a lot of maturing to do.”

“it’s that damn older brother of his.” nicole rolls her eyes. “i was pissed at first, obviously. and even nana was, too. but she talked me out of getting back at him, which i’m glad for. i feel more mature from it.”

teony brings her hands up to her cheeks. “aw… well i think a sweet girl bond formed out of that experience.”

“and nana is right,” lucinda adds. “don’t put much faith into a fourteen year old boy with a delinquent older brother.”

“you can say that again,” katelyn scoffs, before leaning over to pick a movie from the case. “anyways. how about we watch a movie instead of talking about boys?”

aphmau nods eagerly, jumping up to her feet and dashing to her closet to pull out a bunch of blankets and strew them out on the floor behind her. “let’s make a big sleeping pallet and we can all sleep together!”

“there’s a perfectly good bed right there that could definitely hold three of us.” katelyn says, raising her eyebrows.

“well,” aphmau huffs, walking to her bed and throwing the pillows down onto everyone’s legs. “i want to have a big cuddle session on the ground with everyone. if you wanna be lonely up there, you can.”

katelyn scoffs and rolls her eyes, faking an angry cat meow before grabbing one of the pillows. “okay, fine! i’ll mind my business then.”

you crawl closer to katelyn, leaning over her shoulder as she flips through the dvd album. “what are we feeling? looks like most of these are romance, huh?”

katelyn hums, blowing some air out of her lips. “yep. there’s some comedy and chick flics too. white chicks, mean girls, ooh ten things i hate about you.”

“you know you kind of remind me of kat from that movie.” teony suddenly says, appearing on your side, munching on a fruit kebab and giving katelyn a little look.

“don’t they literally describe her as a heinous bitch?” katelyn deadpans at the two of you.

teony starts to cackle, leaning into you and consequentially dog piling onto the girl. katelyn groans, arm reaching around you to lightly slap onto teony’s back.

“i think kat’s cool! it wasn’t an insult. but–” she giggles. “–you immediately proved my point anyways!”

“yeah, she’s iconic.” you add, groaning from being sandwiched between the two. “now please get off…”

teony apologizes, though it sounds pretty half-assed with her continued laughter as she rolls off of you onto the now freshly made pallet of blankets on the floor. katelyn rolls her eyes and helps you up as she randomly chooses a movie from the case and pops it into aphmau’s dvd player.

soon you’re laying between lucinda and nana as the movie plays, though it’s barely paid attention to as the girls quietly giggle and chat. the fairy lights aphmau has hung throughout her ceiling is the only thing besides the tv that lights up the room, and you quietly stare up at them as you listen to the chatter.

it’s one of those moments you want to be able to go back to when you know you’ll inevitably have to be stressed again. it’s like listening to music in the car at night, or swinging in a hammock when there’s a perfect breeze.

you hear your name softly called from your side, and you turn to see nana looking at you with her round eyes, the gold color in them shining against the twinkling lights above your heads.

“yeah?”

“you were the other one besides aphmau to plan this sleepover, right?” she asks, her ears twitching.

“yeah, i mean, i didn’t do much but i guess i helped a little.”

“thank you for inviting me, this was a lot of fun! it’s the best sleepover i’ve ever been to.” her voice is quiet and full of genuine gratitude. it makes your heart squeeze a bit in your chest and you have to resist the urge to awe and pinch her cheek.

“yeah, of course, nana. i’m glad you’re having a good time. thank you for bringing that cake, by the way. it was delicious!” you grin back.

her eyes light up, and you feel her feet wiggle next to yours. “really? i’m so glad you liked it!” she quietly squeals. “i love to bake!”

“really? maybe we can bake together sometime.” you suggest.

“o-m-g, can we, please?” she whispers, tapping her hands excitedly against her shoulder.

“yeah, definitely!”

lucinda shifts next to you, her head leaning to rest on your shoulder. “will i get to taste test?”

you hear nana quietly huff, as she shimmies closer to you. “are you trying to steal my baking buddy?”

“maybe i am, what about it?” lucinda coos, quietly snickering.

“that’s not fair!” nana pouts, hugging onto you and reaching up to playfully pat your hair in an act of possessiveness.

“did you guys already meet before this?” you ask, confused by their very sudden casualness with each other.

“she’s my rival in magicks class.” nana points a small glare at lucinda as she starts to play with your hair. “we both keep swapping like every other week on being the top student in that class.”

“more like one sided rivalry. i know i’m the best.” lucinda preens.

“ugh, you!” nana starts, before turning her attention back to you. “can i play with your hair? we can match ribbons!”

“um, sure?” you agree, and lucinda rolls her eyes in amusement before continuing to cuddle on your shoulder, turning her attention back to the movie.

the meif’wa quietly cheers as she pulls one of her ribbons from her hair, her fingers gently reaching back up to your head. she grabs a lock of your own hair, nails ghosting against your scalp while you hear the ribbon fold between her hands. your eyes flutter shut as you go back to listening to the others, the tv light softly flashing across your eyelids. a deep breath has you sinking against the blankets, and your mind begins to float away into a much more peaceful slumber than you had been experiencing for a while.

tag list: @orinlin, @pain-in-the-ashe, @youmake1mistake, @arienic, @wasting-away-on-the-internet, @merurishi

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

[dearsnow]

WAKING UP TO FANTASY (4)

you wake up unexpectedly in bradley’s bed and take a day to avoid real life and relax before the storm starts once again. (bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem!reader, part of the series “out of touch”, some angst, some fluff, mostly comfort)

OUT OF TOUCH: It’s been twenty years since you last saw Bradley Bradshaw, and, suddenly, you realize he’s finally grown up.

word count: 2,283

a/n - i honestly love this chapter because it’s exactly how i handle my problems 😭 overthinking and distraction in a cycle until you physically can’t anymore. the next one will be so fluffy though y’all, i promise.

When you wake up, hungover to the point where the light coming through the window to your right burns your eyes, you bury your face in your pillow. Wait, the window in your room is to the left of you. And this pillow smells different, like a woodsy laundry detergent. And the blanket that‘s draped over the top of you is a different weight.

Where the fuck are you?

You sit up as quickly as your headache will allow before the memories come flooding back. Explicit photos on a phone screen. A bar. A warm hand, a cold hand, Derick walking away. Bradley carrying you. Being put in this bed, with the lights off, and his hands brushing the hair away from your face. You’re in Bradley Bradshaw’s house, and you just broke up with your boyfriend.

There’s heavy light cascading over your sullen face, so much so that it must be well into the day. You pick up your phone and realize that it’s been put on silent, something you don’t remember doing. When you scroll up, though, you have seven missed calls and over a dozen texts.

They’re all from Derick, of course. The voicemails and texts range from begging you to come back to cursing you out, proclamations of love to admissions of hate. With a bit of hesitation, you delete the voicemails and text one last thing; “I hope you’ve taken your stuff, because I’m changing the locks as soon as I get home.” Then, with a trembling finger, you block his number. You wish you could pretend that never happened and run back into his awaiting arms like a fool in love, but the fact of the matter is, you can never go back. You can never ignore his infidelity, and you couldn’t stop him from doing what he did. It just hurts.

Bradley takes that opportunity to open the door, seemingly having heard you scrambling around in bed. “Hey. How are you?”

You clear your throat, straightening your posture and attempting to make yourself even the slightest bit presentable. “Good. Fine. As fine as I can be.” His eyes soften, and you can tell he doesn’t believe that you’re even a step up from horrible. You surely look it, but you hope he can just ignore that and let you go home with whatever dignity you have left.

“I made some breakfast if you’re ‘fine’ enough to eat. Then, y’know, we can talk.” He says, nodding to something that’s just slightly out of view to you. “C’mon, sleeping beauty.”

You stand with a soft groan. You’re still in your clothes from yesterday, your hair is messed beyond hell, and your entire body is sore. You feel like you just came from another dimension.

Looking around, Bradley’s house is nice. It’s neat. That’s pretty much all you can say, because it practically looks like it hasn’t been lived in. There’s a picture frame of his mom and a man you assume to be his father on the dresser and a sad little plant in the corner, but other than that, it’s undecorated. As you walk out, the rest of the house looks almost the same.

You turn the corner to the kitchen, breathing deeply. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, sweet maple syrup. It smells like heaven. “I got you a hangover cure too,” he says, gesturing to the heaping plate he set out for you and a smoothie that’s a suspicious shade of green.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to poison me.” You huff, taking a whiff of the smoothie. You get hints of so many things that you can’t even determine what the individual notes are. “Thank you, though.”

Bradley pulls out your chair for you, his fingers lingering on the seat until you’re settled in. “You’re welcome. Drink the poison, princess. It’s good for you.”

He stays until you’ve eaten (and drunk) your fill, seemingly having eaten earlier in the day. It’s about 10:38 AM, so you had slept for a good nine or ten hours. The conversation is light, teasing, and utterly ignoring everything that happened the night before. He listens as your scratchy voice explains what you did after he left, and your time in college, and starting your own business. You find out about his antics at the academy and a small part of the mission that ended with him permanently stationed in San Diego. He really had achieved his dreams after all, and you can’t say you’re mad about it.

All you ever wanted was for everyone to be happy, you think. Everyone good. Everyone except for Derick. Your mind drifts back to the words fired from your mouths, creasing your eyebrows and tugging your face down into a frown. Bradley pauses his story, taking in your expression. “You good?”

You nod, not trusting your voice or the lump in your throat.

He stands from his seat. “We should go out. Fresh air is good for you.” His words fall skeptically into your ears as you make fork waves in a puddle of syrup.

“I think I probably need to head home and see if Derick actually moved out.” You murmur. You don’t want to go home; you want to go anywhere but home, but it’s your day off at the cafe, and you can’t avoid it forever.

You wish you could just live in this dream for the rest of your life. Waking up to breakfast, a nice guy who puts chocolate chip smiles on your plate, and a large space that you can make your own. Life, however, rarely ever works out that well. And life always moves on without you if you dwell on what should be.

“Give it some time, hot shot. Spend the day out and we can tackle everything else later.” He smiles, voice cheery. He grabs a pair of aviator sunglasses off his counter and slips them on top of his head, then picks up your plate and balances it on top of his in the sink.

We. Did he mean to say ‘we’? Or, like it or not, is he going to be a full part of this? You would hate to drag him in more than he’s already been drug, but having someone on your side is so nice. It’s exactly what you need right now. In any case, you’re stuck with him for the day (and hopefully longer).

You’re shaken out of your thoughts by his next words. “I have some shirts in my dresser if you want to partially change. They might be a bit big, but they’ll do for now.”

“Thank you, Bradley. You have no idea how much this all means to me.” Your voice falters, quiet and gentle. He has singlehandedly turned your awful situation into something that may be salvaged.

Bradley just smiles crookedly. “No problem. Now chop chop, we have an ice cream shop on the pier to get to.”

You’re clad in a simple white tee. The shoulders hang further down your arms than they should, but the thing is luckily not something Bradley could fit in currently. He just doesn’t get rid of clothes, apparently. His closet is laden with Hawaiian shirts, each more gaudy than the next, leaving you wondering if he’s 35 or 55. In any case, you’re sitting on the edge of the pier, a melting ice cream cone in your hands. You do your best to keep it from dripping onto your hands as the man next to you is biting his cold treat like his teeth can’t hurt.

The ocean laps at your feet, cool and calm. There are a few clouds in the sky, their fluffy shadows blocking just enough sun to regulate the midday temperature. It’s pretty much perfect. You shift your eyes to Bradley, who has finished his cone by now. There’s a single bead of ice cream on his mustache, and you lean back on your arms to avoid wiping it off with the pad of your thumb. He clears his throat. “Nice day, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s a really nice day.” You take a lick of your ice cream, almost sighing at the flavor. Bradley stares out into the ocean, a slight frown pinching his features.

You’re about to finally reach the cone of your dessert when he speaks. “I’m really sorry.”

You pause. “It wasn’t your fault. Derick’s a jerk.”

“No, not about that. Well, yeah that sucked, but I’m sorry that I was such a dick in high school. I wasn’t ready for someone as good as you. It was insecurity or something even stupider, and it hurt you when you were already vulnerable. You deserved better.” He’s still looking out into the shimmering sea, like he can’t bear to meet your eyes. You bite into your cone and chew slowly, the crunchy waffle suddenly seeming very thick in your mouth.

It’s silent for a brief moment, the soft waves filling the background.

“It’s okay.” You say. “High school sucked for a lot of reasons, and I’m sure it wasn’t great for you either— it rarely is. You’ve changed a lot since then, and being completely honest, I like who you are now.” You turn to him with a small smile. “I mean, you bought me ice cream, so how bad can you really be?”

His laughter sends you into a fit of giggles, so hardy that you can’t help but feel the joy bubbling up from the depths of your gut. “If you think like that, you’ll be trusting every guy in Southern California.”

“I’ll only trust the guys who wear loud Hawaiian shirts and put baseball cards in their bikes to make them louder,” Comes your snarky reply. Bradley gasps like you’ve dug up a traumatic memory.

“I was fifteen! If I wanted a loud bike now, I’d buy a goddamn motorcycle.”

You take one more bite of your cone, almost reaching the bottom. “I know you fly heavy machinery for a living, but I’m not sure I’d trust you with a motorcycle.” He’s got a sparkle in his eye, likely coming from the sun just overhead, but it warms your heart just the same. You could drown in this fantasy.

“And I’m not sure if I’d trust you making the muffins for your cafe. I seem to remember that the one time I watched you bake, you almost burned your house down,” He jokingly scoffs. You roll your eyes, briefly making contact with the blue water. It’s beautiful out here, almost as beautiful as the man sitting next to you, but not nearly as beautiful as the feeling of utter belonging that courses through your veins. This is, again, the nicest you’ve felt in a while; despite everything, the happiness persists.

You put the last piece of your ice cream cone in your mouth and quirk your eyebrows up at him. “Well, it’s not like the pastries bake themselves. I have zero employees, so those croissants your friends have been scarfing down came from these here hands.” You spread your fingers and wiggle them slightly, listening to his laugh. When you put them down again, they’re just slightly closer to him.

“You can’t seriously be running that place by yourself now.” He snorts. “That’s gotta be eight jobs in one.”

You let out a little breathy sigh. Everything always comes back to this, to him. You don’t want to ruin the mood, but from a few unassuming words, it’s already been ruined. “I used to have Derick to help me out, but now that’s not an option. I’ve got a guy and a girl starting the day after tomorrow, though, so hopefully it’s not a problem soon.”

Bradley shifts, setting his hands down so they brush yours gently. You feel a little zap at the connection. “Don’t worry about that, your majesty. It’ll work out.” There’s a look to him that you can’t entirely figure out. You choose to ignore it for now, instead focusing on his increasingly odder nicknames for you.

“Your majesty?” You ask. His expression pulls into an instant grin.

“You’re royalty, honey. Independent, beautiful, too good for the world. Own it.”

You roll your eyes for real this time, shaking your head. “Only if I get to call you the court jester, Brad. You’re very entertaining when you want to be.”

“Anything for you, princess.”

You talk a bit after that, but everything tapers off into a kind of peaceful silence. You’ve never really had a peaceful silence before; not with Derick, not with anybody. It felt nice, like you weren’t trying to impress anyone. Before long, the waves were just a bit too high to sit at the pier, and you were forced to sit in Bradley’s bronco.

You fiddle with the car keys in your pocket, looking down at your lap. “I really do need to get back to my place and figure out the entire rest of my life.” You whisper. Bradley turns his keys in the ignition.

“If that’s what you want. I’ll get you back to your car, but baby steps from there, alright? You don’t have to do everything all at once.”

“I don’t think I’ll have the energy to do it all at once,” You admit. “Thanks, though. I’ve said it a million times already, but I doubt it’ll ever be enough.”

As he puts his car into drive, Bradley’s eyes flicker to you through the rear view mirror. “I’m just doing my job as your friend.”

He peels off of the curb he was parked next to, and you can’t help but think that there’s more to his tone than he’s letting on.

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[softtdaisy]

THE OTHER ONE - CHARLES LECLERC

DESCRIPTION I What are you supposed to do when your heart is broken and your brother falls for the woman you love?

PAIRING I Charles Leclerc × female!reader

WORDS COUNT I 3,8k

A/N I Apparently I can write only sad stories?? I’m sorry for the angst (but i’mp actually quite proud of it) 🥺

Charles was the one who meet you first.

He noticed you at the beginning of the weekend. There were always some new faces when the new season starts. And he’s always so focus on Ferrari and what he had to do, that he doesn’t always see them all during in Bahrain.

But he saw you. He could use the excuse that, because you were a new member of the media team, it was hard to miss your presence. Specially since you were there as a photographer and, logically, had to take pictures of each driver for the F1 medias. Yeah, he could say that. Even if it wasn’t true.

Truth was that Charles saw you immediately when he arrived at the paddock. You could have been anybody: a driver’s friend, a journalist from the country, an influencer invented for the event. He didn’t matter. He saw you. You and your beautiful smile. It was the first thing he noticed. You were talking with Pierre, who was doing his little charm number on you, and of course you were smiling.

He could have stayed a few more minutes like that, just looking at you. Then Pierre turned around and noticed him. “Ah Charles! Come here!” he spoke loudly. Charles rolled his eyes from the non-so discreet attitude. He walked to you and after shaking Pierre’s hand, he turned to you. And as he could expect, you were even more beautiful than he imagined.

“Let me introduce you to [y/n]” Pierre said, like he was the one entitled to presented you to everyone. “She’s the new photographer, she’ll follow us all around the season!” He had that smile that was speaking for his mind. And Charles knew he wasn’t the only one finding you attractive.

“I’ll try to be as discreet as possible! You won’t even notice me!” you added with a soft and small laugh. You really didn’t want to bother the drivers, speacially not on your first weekend. The rest of the season would be a mess and you didn’t need that kind of stress. You already knew that Pierre was going to make sure you felt integrated in this world. You didn’t expect Charles to react the same.

Like he didn’t even notice it, he put a hand on your arm. “Don’t. It’ll be a pleasure to see you.” It was sincere and honest; you both knew it. You all knew it, technically because Pierre heard it too. But what his friend noticed that you didn’t, was the message behind it. Charles had laid his eyes on you and wasn’t ready to take them off.

You didn’t see him much during the weekend. Expect for the Sunday after party where he invited you. To celebrate his first victory of the season.

You thought it would be a good way to meet the other drivers, socialize with the teams, meet some new people. Turns out, even though you did make some new friends, you mainly discovered Charles. Sharing his bed that night really helped getting to know him better.

“I can’t stop looking at you” Charles told you at some point during the party. You found it crazy that out of all the people there, you were the one he wanted to spend his celebration party with. You both had drink: enough to find the courage the flirt, but not too much to appreciate everything that was happening. But drink or not, there was the same intensity in the Monegasque’s eyes that you saw when you met him. You didn’t want that to stop.

So you put a hand on his arm, just like he did with you the other day, and whispered in his ear “Don’t.”

He wanted until you were in his bedroom to kiss you, to avoid some unwanted pictures on social medias that would give proof to the rumors. But then, he never stopped. Your lips almost hurt when you went to sleep from all the kisses you got from him. It was passionate, like you both needed to feel each other to feel alive. You were both in places in your life where you were afraid of love and feeling unsatisfied my anything. This moment was like a fire that only you two together could keep alive.

You made a silent agreement that this was it was going to be with you. It sounded logical: you both had a magical moment and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why would you even consider not doing it again?

There was just one thing none of you thought about.

“Oh, Charles! J’ai une question. I have a question Do you know the new photographer? I mean, you do, I saw you with her at your party two weeks ago. But…do you know her?”

In any other situation, Charles would have laugh at his baby brother way of speaking his thoughts. Arthur always acted like he was telling things just the way they were coming in his mind, no matter if it makes sense or not. So yeah, he would have laughed. If Arthur wasn’t talking about you.

“I kinda know her yeah, why?” he asked. It was only Thursday, the medias day, so the paddock was pretty calm. And the two brothers decided to take advantage of that time together to discuss the beginning of the season around a drink. But the season wasn’t the subject anymore. Charles was glad he could hide his suspicious look behind his sunglasses. He was scared about how the conversation might turned out. He had every right to do so.

“I don’t know.” Arthur shrugged. “I find her cute…” he had this angelic and sweet smile. Like he was already daydreaming about you. She’s mine Charles wanted to say. But he couldn’t. Because you weren’t technically his. Because he was a good brother. Because Arthur was a better man than he was, right now.

So, when he saw you coming over them, Charles called you. “I wanted you to meet Arthur.” He simply said. You look at him with confusion. Technically, you did know about Arthur Leclerc, so it wasn’t a surprise to see him. What you didn’t understand, was Charles’ expression, almost like he was torn between letting you meet his brother and wanting to keep you for himself. “Arthur, this is [y/n].”

This was the first step of his runaway. You were simply you. Nothing attached to him. Just you.

Charles then found some excuses to leave the two of you alone.

That was the last time you saw him this weekend.

“Je suis peut-être con“  

“You really doubt that?” Charles answered with a laugh, to which Pierre replied with a hit in his shoulder. The season was going on and it was already the sixth race, in Italy. Without a surprise, Ferrari had rented a beautiful and very luxurious hotel for the team. One with a beautiful pool that Pierre decided to take advantage of as “the best friend”. So they were now hanging out in the massively beautiful rooftop after swimming (no, competing), enjoying the view. Or, enjoying it before seeing what was really happening down there.

“So, I was saying,” Pierre started again “I might be stupid, but didn’t have a thing for [y/n]?”

Charles didn’t expect this question. He was quite surprised, to say the least, since nobody seemed to talk about you around him. Not like a secret agreement, simply that even if the drivers liked you, they were talking about you all the time. That made sense. And the few people that knew Charles got along with you in the first place were Arthur and Pierre.

More than that, Charles stopped talking to you after you met Arthur. It was, this time, a secret agreement he made…with himself. He wanted you to be happy and he knew his brother. He would be the best man for you. During of his sleepless night that he used to compose a new song, Charles found a good comparison.

You were the sun, a beautiful and happy person that bring joy to everyone that meet you.

Arthur was quite like that too, in a funnier way. If you make people smile, he makes people laugh. You made a perfect duo.

Charles, however, felt like the moon. He felt empty most of the time, like he was living his life in a low brightness. His darkness would hide your light. That was how he felt.

“Why you’re asking me that suddenly?” he finally asked Pierre. There was no reason for him to bring you up like this. He thought so. Until Pierre pointed to a couple in the hotel’s yard.

“I just want to know why she is with Arthur right now.” Charles looked down and his friend was right. You were right there, holding with Arthur while he was probably telling you about his day and some other F2 stories.

Did he hate that sight? Yes. But he caused it. So, in some way, deep down, he felt kind of proud that his plan was working. “They are better together” he shrugged, turning around so he was facing the pool instead of the yard. He heard Pierre’s little laugh. A surprised and judgmental one. “What?”

“You really believe that?”

“Yes.” He’s better than me. He’s a good lover, he knows how to keep his relationship clean and lovely. I’m just good at breaking hearts. The others and mine too. But he didn’t say more. With a simple look, Pierre knew it was better to change the subject than insist on it. Even if, as his best friend, he felt Charles was doing a mistake.

But it wasn’t that day that Charles felt like a mistake. It was the one in Canada.

He did his worst qualification of the season here. He didn’t even left Q1 which was a shame and the medias were already wondering if Charles was reader to fight for the rest of the championship when he was doing mistakes like that. He hated that. He hated the treatment he was getting every time he was making a stupid and meaningless mistake. He knew he would do his best for the race. He knew that, even if he ends up 10, he will still be leading.

But tonight, he felt like a stupid and idiot mess. Worse, he knew that the Formula 2 wasn’t here this weekend. Arthur wasn’t there.

This explained why he allowed himself to knock on your door, at 10 pm.

You didn’t expect any visitor. It wasn’t like anybody would come see you at night anyway. The only person you thought would be happy to see wasn’t even in the country.

And lastly, Charles was certainly not the one you expect to see when you opened the door.

But here he was, in his oversized Ferrari sweater, with his hair messy like he’s playing or pull them, and such a sad and broken expression you’ve never seen on anybody before. You knew the reason behind it. You were there. You saw it all: the bad qualification and his reaction afterwards. How he jumped from his car and went to hide for a good twenty minutes. How he did half the interviews he was supposed to do.

You wanted to run to him. It killed you to see him this sad and defenseless. Nothing mattered, not the way he ghosted you nor that you were seeing his brother. You wanted to comfort Charles but felt like it wasn’t your role.

Turned out that, maybe, it was yours in the end.

“Come in” you simply said, moving just enough to let him pass. Your room was pretty identical to his. Charles could have walked with his eyes closed he would have found your bed. He sat like he has been waiting to reach this destination for hours now. And somehow, it was the truth. He was looking for a place where he wouldn’t be alone nor judged. He couldn’t stay with the other drivers; competition was always coming first. He had no one but you.

God, he wished he truly had you.

You didn’t hesitate and ran to sit next to him. As soon as you put your arm around his shoulder, he cuddled against you. You never imagined Charles being this broken. You couldn’t imagine the amount of things that accumulate in his mind and heart to make him feel this…shattered. “I’m so tired of all this.” He whispered and you rocked him slowly, trying to calm him down. “I shouldn’t even be there.”

“Why?” you had a small voice, like you were too scared to even ask. And when Charles looked at you in the eyes, it was almost like everything in him was screaming his brother’s name. Of course. It wasn’t fair for Arthur. But…”we’re not together.” You saw the frown on his face and couldn’t resist caressing it with your thumb to relax him. “We’re taking things slowly, so we’re not official dating.”

You both had your reasons. Arthur had broken up with his last girlfriend not so long ago and didn’t want to commit into a new relationship too fast. Too scared of being heartbroken again. And you, besides the new job and its obligation, you still had Charles in mind. Or, more exactly, was still frustrated by how everything ended. How could you love Arthur with your whole heart if you still had his brother living there?

It was all Charles needed for tonight. As soon as he knew he wasn’t doing the worst thing he could ever imagine, he started leaning towards you. You could feel his hand slowly coming to your neck, his fingers brushing your skin softly. His lips were just a few millimeters away from yours, you could feel his breath against it, when you spoke. “Don’t do that.” You whispered.

“Why?” his voice was shaking, it was almost a cry. Almost like a junkie who needs his drugs, Charles needed to feel you. Again.

You brought a hand to his face and brush his cheek with so much love that he would love to keep that forever with him. “You will regret it in the morning…” and that was when it became obvious to him. That you were way too good for him.

You could have said, we will regret it. But you didn’t. You thought about Charles’ feelings first. How he would never forgive himself for betraying in baby brother even if you weren’t dating. How he let himself taste you tonight he won’t ever be able to contain himself. It didn’t matter how you feel about that. What matter to you was him.

So, he simply nodded, brushing having a tear he didn’t realize was there until it fell on his lips and took a step back. You keep a hand on his arm, to make sure he wouldn’t leave with a broken heart. Wouldn’t do anything too stupid. After a few minutes, you both laid on your bed, facing the ceiling.

You stayed like that, in complete silent, for a long time. “You chose the right Leclerc.” He had a sad laugh that you wished you never heard. “Arthur has a pure heart.”

You turned your head to face him, even though he wasn’t ready to move. Facing you would mean facing his problems. And it didn’t want that. Not right now. “And you don’t?”

“My heart is so broken. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost some pieces in the way. I don’t even know how to love properly. That’s why you should be with him. He knows how.”

You didn’t add anything. Charles didn’t someone to prove him wrong. He needed you to listen to him and to understand how he felt. He needed someone to know about that, so he didn’t have to live with that by himself. Even though you were sure he was able to love, you didn’t correct him. In silence, you prayed he would one day feel able to love again. Properly.

Even if it’s not with you.

What Charles didn’t say, was that he knew it was his last chance to have you. If he told Arthur that he was in love with you, his brother would let you go. Without a single doubt. But what kind of big brother would he be to break Arthur’s heart just for his own pleasure?

At least, in this scenario, nobody was asking anything to anyone. Charles’ sacrificing his love life was his own choice. He could only blame himself for letting you go.

He fell asleep on your bed that night and you let him. When you woke up the next morning he had already left. No notes. Nothing. All you got was a small smile when you saw him in the paddock. The only thank you for being here you needed.

The only one you got for the rest of the season.

A few days after that race, when you saw Arthur again, he decided to post a picture of you two together. “I know we take our time but being away from you made me realize that I love you more than I thought.”  He told you. You would have been a fool to not accept such a pure love. So, you accepted it. You accepted Arthur’s pure heart.

For most of the season, you didn’t talk much with Charles expect when you both had to: when you were in the same room, and you didn’t want to look like you hated each other. It wasn’t hard to imagine to kind of rumors you would get if you weren’t talking with your brother-in-law. Or simply when you had to take pictures of him. You would talk about the race, mostly. Charles never felt like he had the right to ask you any questions about your life anymore.

You had to wait until October to finally see him outside of the circuit. And it was for his and Arthur’s birthday. It was easier for their family to celebrate it during the same weekend since their birthday were just two days apart.

As Arthur’s girlfriend, you had to be there. You didn’t even think about missing it. Since your night with Charles, you slowly let him leave your heart so you could all of it to Arthur. It wasn’t easy and there were some lonely nights where you thought about that choice. But you’ve been dating the younger for months now and it was too late to change it.

It wasn’t easy being there and seeing Charles. He looked healthier than he did earlier this year, smiling and laughing with his friends and family. He looked gorgeous. Looking at him made you realize that you still hadn’t finish the process of forgetting about him. But the real question was, would you ever forget totally about Charles?

At some point during the night, you noticed him being alone in their family garden while everyone was having fun inside. It didn’t matter if it was your heart screaming to go see him or your empathy that didn’t want to leave him alone. You just couldn’t see him like that and do nothing. “I’ll be right back.” You said to Arthur, kissing his cheek before going outside. That man was so sweet and innocent he probably just assumed you wanted to make sure his brother was fine. Arthur never learnt about your past, or whatever happened between you and Charles. And he never will.

“What a way to enjoy your birthday.” You told Charles once you were near him. He turned around to look at you and forgot how to breath for a good second. Knowing you were there was hard Knowing you were here for his brother first was harder. But seeing you coming to him, being that beautiful, was awful.  

But he still offered you a smile, the same he gave you all these past months when he saw you. A happy but broken one. “I just needed some time alone.”

“Oh.” You replied, already taking a step back. But Charles took your hand without a single hesitation. He didn’t need to say any words. He wanted you here.

So, you stayed there, watching the sky and the stars in totally silence. It reminded you of the night he came to your hotel room. There was some peace in the silence.

But there was another reason for you coming to see him outside, expect for the heartbreak it caused you to see him alone at his own birthday party. You were still wondering if it was a good idea or the worst you could ever had. But you thought it was a good way to end things in a good way. To make sure you would both be able to move on from the obvious attraction you had for each other.

You slowly took the gift that was hiding in your jacket and gave it to him. Charles turned his head to look at you, frowning. “It’s not a real gift. I mean, it is. But there is another one waiting for you inside. This one…it’s a personal one I couldn’t give in front of each other.” You explained. You almost ran away to not see his reaction. You thought it was stupid and cliché. But you also needed to know how he felt about that.

Charles opened it with confusion. He didn’t expect you to give a gift at all. Not after the mess he created in your life. But he took it. And you heard something you didn’t think you would hear again so soon. “You’re offering me…some glue?” he asked, laughing. A sweet and innocent laugh.

“Look more closely.”

He was still laughing, turning the glue over and over until he saw it. You added your own label on it. It was written “glue for broken hearts.” His laugh stopped. But his smile didn’t disappear.

“I want to see you happy one day, Charles. I want to see you in love.” You said, looking at him in the eyes to mark every word. “I thought…I wished I could have been the girl that help you healing your broken heart. Collecting the pieces and making it full again. But I couldn’t force you. So, promise me that one day, you’ll accept to let someone open that glue and make you a happy man.”

At first, Charles didn’t say anything.

He let himself imaging how life would have been if you didn’t meet Arthur. If his brother didn’t fall for you too. If Charles wasn’t too scared to fight for you. If he had found the strength to speak his mind. If he had look at you in the eyes that night in Canada and told you how much he loved you. Would you by his arm right now? Would he be the one you helped blowing the candles with? Would he be the one you would kiss before a race to wish him luck? Maybe. But you weren’t.

And you won’t ever be.

So, despite the tears growing his eyes, Charles put a small smile on his face and took you in his arms. He whispered in your ear: “I promise.”

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 35

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

Masterlist

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Sunday, January 10; 10:55 AM -  Lucy’s Room

I roll over in bed onto my stomach and groan in frustration as I realize I'm alone again in this big bed. The reason becomes clear when I see that it’s almost eleven on the clock. She must have been awake for at least two hours, if not more.  Lucy won’t be able to say I didn’t catch up on sleep—I haven’t slept past ten in a long time. I stretch out all my limbs on my back, then take a moment to look around this room, unsure if I’ll ever see it again. It’s the first time I’ve felt this comfortable in a place I’ve only just discovered. I take a deep breath before leaving the room and slowly heading to the living room. When I arrive,  Lucy is casually lying on the couch with a book in hand. I smile when I see she’s wearing the glasses I like so much. Not wanting to disturb her, I just sit beside her bent knees.

“Hey,” she says, looking up from her book.

“Hey… I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me,” she smiles. “Do you want something to eat?”

“No thanks… Considering the time, I think I’ll just wait until noon.”

“Whatever you like. You can still eat if you’re hungry. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah… Better once I fell back asleep.”

“No more nightmares?” she asks, and I shake my head in response. “Good… Think about what you want to do today. I’m going to shower in the meantime.”

“Did you wait until I got up to shower?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to wake you up by rummaging for my things in the bedroom.”

“You’re silly, you could have. I’m a heavy sleeper. Not much wakes me up.”

“I’ll remember that next time.”

She sets her book down on the small table before getting up. I can’t help but let my eyes follow her as she walks down the hallway. How could I not when she’s still in pajamas that show off her perfectly smooth, bare legs? That outfit proves she didn’t go for a run; otherwise, she’d be in joggers.

“Wait, Luce!”

“Yes?” she says, turning around.

“C-Can I use your phone? I’d like to call Mapi while you’re busy.”

“It’s right there, code 4086.”

“Thanks!”

I give her one of my brightest smiles, which she returns before disappearing into the bathroom. Once she’s out of sight, I grab her phone and enter the code, which works. She’d never told me before; she always entered it herself. I’m not about to betray her trust, so I just dial my best friend’s number, which I know by heart. She picks up after the fourth ring.

“Hey guapa, you finally found time to call me?”

“ Lucy’s in the shower, I’m taking advantage.”

“Of course, because otherwise, impossible! You’re calling from her phone, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, don’t you dare save her number.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she giggles. “So, how’s the weekend going?”

“Perfect, really.”

I give her a rundown of everything  Lucy has shown me. I leave out a few details, like how she let me drive or the secret spots she took me to. I also tell her about the evening we spent with her friends. She asks if Ingrid and Jenni were there, sounding a bit sad that she couldn’t join us. She was here just a few days ago, but I think she enjoyed her time in Manchester. She acts tough, but I know she has a big heart and gets attached quickly. Probably faster than I do, which says a lot. I used to get attached to people quickly before the incident I went through. I fall silent when I hear someone talking to her. I try to recognize the voice, but it’s too faint.

“It’s Ona, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

I hear her respond, but she’s moved the phone away from her ear. I try to listen more closely and finally recognize the voice— Lana. You’ve got to be kidding me!

“You’re at it again?” I scold.

“Ona—”

“No, no, no, don’t give me that! You’re giving her false hopes again when she’s just a hookup to you!” I snap.

“I can’t help it, OK?” she blurts out. “Ever since I came back to Barcelona, it’s been miserable,” she sighs. “And you not having a phone isn’t helping!”

“I’m sorry, Maps… I’ll ask Ale to let me borrow hers more often.”

“When are you getting your new phone?”

“I have no idea,” I sigh. “ Lucy destroyed my SIM card. I have to go through my mom to get a new one.”

“Great,” she says sarcastically. “I need a distraction! I’m going to explode otherwise.”

“I’m sorry I’m not there…”

“It’s not your fault, don’t worry about it. Anyway, let’s change the subject.”

“Do you want to come to Manchester next week?” I suggest.

“Very funny, and where would we stay?”

“I can ask Lucy if she knows of any good places. We can use taxis to get around.”

“That’s going to cost a fortune… I can’t afford it, and you know it.”

“My mom gives me money every month, Mapi. It’s one of the few things she does right.”

“There’s no way you’re paying for everything, don’t even think about it,” she grumbles.

“You can stay with me.”

I jump and turn to see Lucy. She’s leaning against the couch with a smile plastered on her face. I can’t find any words or react. I hate her. She has no right to show up in front of me in just a robe with her hair still dripping wet!

“Sorry, I heard my name so I figured I’d listen in. She wants to come to Manchester, right?” she asks.

“Uh… Yeah,” I reply, avoiding eye contact.

“You two can stay here if you want.”

“No way! I don’t want to bother you for another weekend.”

“It wouldn’t bother me if I’m the one offering.”

“Can we talk about this later?”

“Sure, I’m not done anyway. I’m going to get dressed and dry my hair.”

“Uh-huh…”

She runs her hand through my hair and heads back where she came from. I put the phone back to my ear as Mapi bombards me with questions. She asks why I turned down  Lucy’s offer and comments on how weird I was acting. How could I not be? I’m relieved to hear the hairdryer in the bathroom.

“Oh, shut up,” I groan. “Stay out of my love life, for God’s sake!”

“I never mentioned your love life,” she teases.

“I’m bringing it up because I ran into Alex last night.”

“Alex, the guy you met at the skating rink?”

“Yeah, that Alex.”

“Oooh! No, wait, that guy was so annoying! He kept asking me questions about you! I forbid you from going out with someone like him!”

“Girl I’m straight as a circle of course I m not going out with him ,” I roll my eyes.

“Can we go back to talking about Lucy? Seriously, you like her, admit it already!”

“Never, Leon.”

“Liar! She doesn’t leave you indifferent, I noticed it when I saw you two together.”

“Whatever. What are you getting at now?”

“It’s as clear as day. I haven’t seen you so much like yourself in a long time! She does more for you than I ever imagined.”

I sigh, massaging my temples. I wanted to talk to her about this, but not over the phone. Plus, I don’t like being pressured into saying things.

“Admit it, Batlle.”

“Fine, you win,” I groan. “I like her, okay?”

“Hallelujah! Oh my God, it’s about time! I knew it from the first time you talked about her,” she says excitedly. “You don’t even realize how attached you are to her!”

“I’m not attached,” I roll my eyes. “Anyway, nothing will ever happen between us.”

“Why not?”

“She’s my boss, remember? The girl completely obsessed with rules. She doesn’t even approve of Jenni and Ale’s relationship… She’s definitely not going to accept ours if anything were to happen…”

“I’m almost sure you don’t leave her indifferent either. But it’s obvious she doesn’t leave you indifferent.”

“You’re right, she doesn’t leave me indifferent, but I’m not in love. She’s just helping me feel better and get better. That’s all.”

“If you say so. Anyway, you two care a lot about each other.”

“Stop it, Mapi… You know I’m not ready for a new relationship anyway.”

“It would do you some good, you know.”

“And you’re the one telling me this?”

“Oh, come on! No need to compare us.”

“Anyway, I’ve got to go. Lucia is done and she’ll be back soon,” I say, hearing the hairdryer stop.

“Lucia, huh?” she teases.

“Maria Pilar Leon, enough already!” I groan.

“I couldn’t resist,” she laughs. “Try making her jealous. You’ll see if she wants more with you.”

“Okay, I’m hanging up.

"Yeah, go ahead and run," she laughs. "Say hi to her for me and have a good day with your girl!"

"Ugh... Thanks, you too. Bye."

Just as I hang up,  Lucy reappears. I notice she hasn't put on any makeup. She ignores me and heads to the kitchen. I get on my knees and rest my elbows on the back of the couch, watching her. It's hard when she's facing away from me.

"Thanks for the phone," I say, waving it in the air.

"You're welcome. Finished with Mapi already?" she asks, finally turning around.

"Yeah, that was enough for the week," I chuckle.

"I thought it would last longer. How is she?"

"Not too well," I sigh, resting my head between my arms. "That's why I suggested she come next week. Are you sure you don't know any cheap places we could stay?"

"I already offered here."

She turns to lean against the counter, crossing her arms. I smile when she tilts her head. I get the feeling she's trying to assess me curiously.

"I've already imposed on you long enough. Besides, you don't know what it's like having Mapi around for days."

"You're not going to pay for a hotel when I'm offering a free place, are you?"

"You're a pain... You have no idea what you're getting into."

"No, but I'm willing to take the risk," she laughs. "It only holds if you have permission, anyway."

"Hey, I've become responsible!"

"If you say so. Try to stay that way, then."

She turns back to continue what she was doing. I decide to join her to help out. I haven't done much since yesterday, and I'm eager to lend a hand now that I'm allowed to.

"Can I help?"

"I thought you didn't know how to cook?"

"It's never too late to learn, right?"

"That's true. How about some chicken stir-fry?"

"One of my favorite dishes," I admit.

"Perfect. You'll cut the chicken, then."

She looks for the meat in the fridge and then comes back to my side. I grimace at the sight of the fillets she places on a wooden board. She smiles, noticing my reaction. I've never cooked in my life, and she seems to have figured out my problem because she starts giving me instructions. I start by washing my hands while  Lucy looks for a knife. I grimace even more when I take the meat with my fingers.

"Ona, it's not going to bite," she laughs.

"This stuff is so slimy! It sticks to your fingers."

"You've never seen a chicken fillet before?"

"I've seen it... Touching it is a different story!"

She laughs even harder, which makes me pout. I put the chicken down when she hands me the knife.

"And you wonder why I think of you as a princess."

"Hey! I'm far from being one. It's not my fault I was never taught this stuff!"

"True. I'll get you used to it quickly, just wait."

She leans back against the counter, arms crossed, watching me cut the meat with a smile that doesn't leave her face. Her laughter tells me I'm doing it wrong.

"That's not how you do it, Ona. Watch."

She shows me there's a notch in the fillet. She opens it in half and asks me to cut down the middle. Once done, it's much easier to cut into small cubes.  Lucy still manages to critique me, saying I should make the pieces larger.

"And how do you plan to live later if you can't even cut a simple fillet?"

"I'll wait for you to give me lessons."

"Just that?"

"You're a whiz in the kitchen. I even prefer your dishes over Sam's, believe it or not!"

"How lucky. I haven't cooked anything special yet, just a pizza."

"That was enough to judge! I've got an idea! Can I hire you as my personal chef? But, like, for free, of course!"

"What next? If you want my services, you'll have to pay big."

She winks at me and moves to the other side of the kitchen. I watch her start the water for the pasta.

"Hey! Just because I'm not next to you doesn't mean you should stop," she scolds.

"Sorry," I giggle. "I was watching what you were doing."

I quickly finish cutting the two small fillets, which are more than enough for the two of us. She takes out a saucepan, places it on another burner, and asks me to bring the meat. She asks me to pour it all into the saucepan to cook, adding an onion and mushrooms. I watch as she stirs the meat occasionally and when she puts the pasta in the boiling water.

"Did you really learn all this by yourself?"

"Mostly, yes. Why?"

"I'll never be able to do this one day."

"Yes, you will. It comes naturally over time."

"It'll take a lot of practice before I get there."

"There's a first time for everything. Come here, you'll finish it."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"It's not difficult, I promise."

I position myself in front of her as she directs. She explains what to do and especially stops me from overdoing the cream, salt, and spices. We let everything cook, making sure not to burn anything. She then lets me handle the pasta while she sets the table. When everything is ready, we bring the dishes over. I realize I'm not even dressed yet, but it doesn't seem to bother  Lucy. She would have said something if it did. I sit in the same spot as yesterday morning while she serves us both a plate.

"You're aware you're about to taste your first dish, right?" she smiles.

"Yeah, but you helped me a lot."

"But you did everything yourself," she replies, sitting across from me. "I should've started with this, it's basic."

"Ha ha ha! I still know to put pasta in water to cook, thank you!"

"With oil and salt."

"With oil and salt," I repeat as if it's obvious.

My credibility just crumbled. Of course, I didn't know that detail. I'm ashamed that I don't even know how to make pasta.

"Next time, you'll do it alone."

I smile shyly, thinking she wants me to come back someday. On top of that, she'll teach me how to cook. I'm not going to complain about learning something so simple. Now I'm eager to taste what I've made. We wish each other "bon appétit," and I quickly fill my mouth with a well-loaded fork. I let out an involuntary moan of satisfaction as I close my eyes. Damn, this is good!

"Alright, you're really a good teacher," I say with my mouth full. "If I make this at home, they won't believe it!"

"Oh, so you're planning to do it again? Please do it with someone else, okay?" she laughs.

"You're so mean!"

"I'm joking, Ona," she smiles.

"Mhm, I doubt it."

"Of course I am. So, have you thought about what you want to do today?"

"You don't have anything planned?"

"No, nothing at all."

"Then I don't want to do anything."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, just enjoy the calm, if that's okay with you. A movie, read a book, or maybe a board game if you're up for it... But I don't really feel like going out today."

"Alright, that works for me."

I really needed this moment of calm after the weekend. I don't get these moments at school, where we're constantly around others. We finish our meal talking about current movies and series that might interest us for the afternoon. We clear the table, then I head back to my room to get dressed. I take the opportunity to make my bed, which I didn't use much. I wanted to do hers too, but she had already made it when I went to her room.

"Is something wrong?" she asks when she sees me standing in the doorway.

"No, no," I quickly reply.

"Are you done?"

"Almost. I just need to brush my teeth and hair because this isn't working anymore," I say, pointing to my head.

"If you say so," she laughs. "I'll wait for you in the living room."

I let her go out first. I stop by the bathroom, where my things are still here from yesterday. I easily find her toothpaste because I, of course, forgot mine at school, and I brush my teeth. Thankfully, she doesn't mind me using her stuff. It still bothers me to have to rummage through her things, like last time when I couldn't find her cotton pads right away. They were right in front of me the whole time. I must have taken too long because a few minutes later,  Lucy comes back to ask if everything's okay. She comes in with my permission just as I'm wiping my face.

"You don't need to make yourself pretty, you know," she laughs.

"I'm not making myself pretty. I'm making myself presentable."

"You're very presentable," she giggles. "Even with messy hair."

"Sure, keep teasing me."

"I'm not lying."

"Mhm. Does it bother you if I take another shower here before leaving tonight?"

"Of course not. You don't have to ask for that."

"Thanks... Are we watching a movie now?"

She nods and steps aside to let me pass. I toss the cotton pad I just used before leaving. After a long debate, we decided to continue the Harry Potter series. I was fully into it until  Lucy got bored and decided to mess with me. If you had told me one day I'd find myself on a couch with her, and she'd be tickling me, I would have laughed at the absurdity. But that's exactly what's happening.

" Lucy Bronze!" I cry out between laughs. "You're such a child!"

"You're the younger one!" she retorts.

"Well, it doesn't seem like it! Stop it," I giggle under her attacks.

I have to twist and turn to escape her. Since I can't, I decide to climb on top of her to pin her down. It's only when she stops laughing that I realize the position I've put us in. She's sprawled out beneath me as I straddle her hips, holding her hands on either side of her head. She stops when she doesn't hear me laugh anymore. My hair falling over her face must be hiding my blushing cheeks. I try to get up, but my hand slips, and I collapse onto her like a ragdoll.  Lucy's laughter rings in my ears. I try again to get up, but this time an arm wraps around my shoulders, holding me in place.

"Lucia..."

"Shhh. Relax and lay down a bit »

I catch her eyes, which show no hint of humor. She slowly forces me to rest my head against her chest so I can keep watching the movie this way. The feeling of being held captive against her gives me butterflies in my stomach. I bite my lip as she starts to gently stroke my hair.

"Relax, Ona..."

"Sorry... I-I’m not used to this anymore."

My trembling voice betrays me. I’m enjoying the moment, but I know it's not right.

"So enjoy it."

That’s exactly the problem. Enjoy. She doesn’t realize in what way I’m enjoying it. I admit defeat when I realize she won’t let me go. I can’t keep watching the movie like I was just a few minutes ago. My thoughts are consumed by the person I’m lying on. She’s going to drive me crazy if she keeps this up. I don’t understand what’s happening to me in her presence. It wasn’t like this at the beginning. Everything just changed. Or have I only just realized it? I let my fingers slide down her sides, moving up and down repeatedly. I smile as I feel her shiver. She asks me to stop, but the urge to continue is stronger. I would love to thank her for everything, but I stay silent to avoid ruining the moment. My hand starts to ache from twisting my arm this way, so I slide between her body and the back of the couch. She grunts slightly as I crush her in the process. I rest my head on her shoulder and leave one of my legs on hers. This way, I can continue the same gentle touches she’s giving me on my head, now on her belly, without straining my arm. I enjoy this peaceful moment by closing my eyes for a moment.

Sunday, January 10; 6:00 PM - At  Lucy's place

I grumble when I'm shaken gently. I cling to the fabric beneath my hand. I open my eyes when I’m shaken harder the second time.

"Wake up, Ona."

"Hummmm... Did I fall asleep?" I ask in a hoarse voice.

"Yeah," she replies cheerfully.

I release what I’m holding when I realize it’s  Lucy’s sweater. I rub my eyes under her amused smile.

"Come on, get up, Princess. I need to cook if we don’t want to be late for school."

"Can’t we wait a little longer?"

"I’ve already waited to wake you up. I need to cook so we can eat, and we need to pack too."

"What time is it?"

"Six Ale’clock. At least let me get up, please."

I shift to free her side that I was holding. I lie back down the moment she gets up and moves out of my sight. I sigh in displeasure, feeling only the warmth she left behind. I clutch the pillow, hoping it can replace her presence.

"You’d better not fall back asleep."

"Or what?" I challenge.

"You don’t want to know."

I chuckle lightly. I focus on the screen where a series has replaced our movie, which must have ended a long time ago. I recognize Grey’s Anatomy. I used to love watching this series, but that was before I started studying in the field.

"What are we eating?" I ask.

"We have some pasta left. I was planning to make bolognese. Does that work for you?"

"Hmm..."

"And if you would bring your butt here to give me a hand?"

"You’re asking a lot."

I still get up to drag my feet to the kitchen under her laughter. I lean against the counter to watch her prepare. She smiles at me and gestures for me to come over.

"Here, turn the meat if needed."

She leaves me in front of a pot filled with meat and onions cooking. I look at it with a panicked expression when she takes out things to set the table.

"What do I need to do?"

"I just told you. Just turn the meat," she laughs. "I’ve already seasoned it. You should be able to handle this without me, right?"

"I’m not sure," I joke.

"Helpless."

"Only because of you."

"Oh yeah?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah. You’re lucky, huh?"

"From what I see in front of me..." she says, looking me up and down. "Not really, no."

I part my lips in shock. It’s been a while since she’s scolded me like that, even if it’s in jest. She laughs while approaching me.

"Don’t forget to turn the meat."

I regain my composure while stirring the pot under her watchful eye. When it’s ready for her, she pours the tomato sauce and takes my place to mix everything together.

"A real princess," she teases with a shoulder bump.

"I’m more of a burden, really."

"What?" she giggles.

Her eyes settle on me when I stop answering. I meant what I just said. It’s how I feel. She doesn’t say anything and tastes her sauce with a spoon. Then she puts a lid on the pot and lowers the heat. I stay where I am while she throws the spoon she used into the sink. It’s at this moment that I feel her eyes on my back. I head towards the table to avoid her, but she blocks me against the counter before I can get there.

"I thought we had moved past this stage of feeling bad."

"Don’t think less of me."

"Hey, it was a joke. Look at me."

I turn to face her. She’s closer than I expected, but I don’t let myself be unsettled.

"It’s the truth! I’m just a simple burden you’re dragging behind you."

"No," she sighs. "You’re much more than that, Ona. Alright? Get that idea out of your head, okay? You might be a little princess, but I will always support you."

I lower my head, nodding slightly and biting my lip. Why does she always have the right words to reassure me? I let myself fall into her arms that she just opened for me.

"Come on, go sit down. I’ll handle the rest."

I do as she asks while keeping an eye on her. She heats the pasta and joins me shortly after with the dishes. I serve the drinks while she fills our plates. We enjoy our last moments together by chatting a bit. The conversation turns to what we might do with Mapi next week. It looks like she’s decided to host us. After dinner, I help her clear the table before we return to our rooms. I pack my suitcase with reluctance, making sure not to forget anything.

"It’s not the end of the world if you forget something, you know," she says, leaning against the door frame.

"That’s true, but it would bother me."

"We need to leave. Is everything okay for you?"

"Yep..."

"Don’t make that face, you’ll be back next week," she teases.

"Hmm... Let’s go before I hide under the bed."

I roll my suitcase to the living room where hers is already. I take one last look at the apartment before she turns off all the lights and locks the door. With a heavy heart, we take the elevator to her car. This weekend was amazing. Way too amazing. I don’t say anything during the drive back. She stops after a while, and I realize we’ve arrived at the place where I joined her on Friday night.

"You’ll need to walk the rest," she says softly.

"Yeah... Thanks for the weekend."

"It was a pleasure. Is everything okay...?" she asks uncertainly.

"Yeah," I repeat. "Good night,  Lucy."

"Good night to you."

She gives me a smile that I return weakly. I get out of the car and grab my suitcase before watching the car drive off into the night. I finish the walk to the reception where the old secretary is waiting for us. This very warm woman wishes me a good week. I continue to my room where Alexia greets me as soon as I drop my things. She bombards me with questions about my weekend. She’s so much like Mapi with that behavior. The only difference is that she doesn’t force me to talk about it. I pretend I need to take a shower to escape, as I didn’t have time to shower at  Lucy’s after my nap. I manage to get into bed just before curfew. That kept me from having to talk, as I know Ale wouldn’t want to deal with the supervisor on duty. I wouldn’t want to either, given the weekend I’ve had. I think  Lucy would have saved the day, but I can’t always rely on her. She already does so much for me, and I need to adhere to the rules. In complete silence, I search for sleep, which is elusive after my long nap.

Monday, January 11; 2:20 AM - Ona and Alexia’s room

I startle awake, the duvet thrown off me. I’m seized by a sudden suffocation. I blink several times to understand that the light is already on. Alexia gets up and comes to me. I can’t catch my breath and feel sticky with sweat again.

"Hey, it’s okay, it’s just a nightmare."

I start to tremble under Alexia's caresses. Please, anything but this... I place my head in my hands to prevent the panic attack from getting worse. I flinch when the bedroom door opens to reveal someone I don’t recognize. It must be the night instructor  Lucy told me about. It's the first time she’s intervened in our room, and she doesn’t look very pleased.

- What’s going on here? she asks sternly.

- She’s having nightmares; it’s not the first time, Alexia explains.

- Br... Bronze, I manage to say. Call...

- Do you want me to get Bronze?

I nod faintly as I struggle to breathe. It feels like my head is going to explode. All I hear are hissing noises making me whimper and close my eyes. I bury my head in my arms to lessen the violent dizziness that’s overtaking me, but it makes it worse. I’m forced to pull it out to try and get some air. When I open my eyes again, I see Alexia trying to talk to me, but I can’t make out anything. She looks very worried and desperate. The minutes drag on until Bronze arrives in the room. It’s as if time had paused. I must look terrible with my face soaked in uncontrollable tears. Alexia immediately gives way to my supervisor. Her first instinct is to grab my head in her hands so that I only look at her. Her lips move, but I still hear nothing but unpleasant hissing. I pray that she understands my state as I desperately cling to her shirt. She lets me cling to her when I pull her close. Her arms simply wrap around my neck as I whimper against her. Her reassuring scent quickly fills my lungs. I close my eyes to savor her caresses that I can finally feel. There, she’s all I needed to feel reassured and safe. She stays as long as needed for me to calm down and return to reality. I start to hear her soft whispers again, and it’s at this moment that I realize I’m completely sprawled on her. My grip on her shirt slowly loosens as I understand that I’m safe now.

- I’m here; I’m not letting go, she repeats.

I take in all her words until I’m overcome with a sense of guilt. I start crying again.

- I- I’m sorry... I’m sorry... I... I stammer.

- Hey, shhh. It’s okay, alright? Calm down. I’m here now.

I close my eyes and bury my face a little further into her neck. I take in all the security she offers. A terrible headache comes over me, forcing me to pull away slightly from  Lucy. She loosens her grip slightly, understanding my intention. I try to make sure she can’t see my awful face. She doesn’t take it well and grabs my face to examine it with a worried look. I break our eye contact to look at Alexia behind her, who seems terrified. I panic when I feel  Lucy trying to get up. She smiles gently.

- I’ll be right back, I promise.

I trust her and release her against my will. She comes back shortly with a glass of water and a pill. I take it without a word, reminded of my headache. She sits back on the edge of my bed and runs her thumbs over my cheeks.

- We need to find a solution. I’ll have to talk to Wiegman in the morning.

I give her a difficult nod of agreement. I know she would do things differently if she could. She sighs, running her hand through her hair and staring at the door. It’s closed, probably to keep the whole floor from being disturbed by my fault. I lower my eyes to the glass I’m holding, but I look up immediately when  Lucy stands. I hold her back with my eyes.

- Stay with me... Please.

- Ona... she sighs. I can’t do that.

- I won’t be able to fall back asleep without you, I whisper, lowering my head.

I know this in advance. I’ve gotten used to something I shouldn’t have. I look at her when I don’t get a response. Her eyes linger on Alexia before settling back on me. I bite my lip, dreading her response.

- Alright, she cracks with a sigh. I just need to talk to the other instructor first, but for that, you’ll have to let me go.

She looks at where I’m holding her, and I immediately release my grip.

- Go back to sleep, Alexia. And I want your silence about what’s going to happen tonight.

With those words, she exits, taking care to leave the door open. I don’t like that she’s threatening Ale, but she risks a lot by agreeing to my request. I collapse onto the bed and look at my roommate, who was already staring at me.

- You scared me to death! I really didn’t know what to do this time! Luckily, Bronze came. I really couldn’t have calmed you down like she did! she rushes out.

- I’m sorry you had to witness that.

- Blake, I told you to go back to sleep,  Lucy, who has just returned, says.

She closes the door behind her. Alexia is still very intimidated by her, which makes me smile a little.  Lucy is so cold with her at the same time. She approaches my bed and grimaces, probably noticing the size. She sighs and turns off the light.

- Alright, move over, she whispers.

I comply by shifting to the side of the bed. I feel her slide in behind me, covering us properly before placing her hand on my stomach.

- We seriously need to find a solution, she grumbles in a way that only I can hear.

Luckily, it’s dark, and she can’t see my smile. I snuggle a little closer into her arms, pulling the blanket up to my neck. As usual since this weekend, she caresses my stomach to calm me, which works perfectly. She whispers goodnight before I close my eyes and fall asleep again.

[midgardian-witch]

i saw you made a moon knight fic based off an ethel cain song, and i was wondering if you could make one based off her song michelle pfeiffer idk it just screams moon boys to me 😻🫶🏽🫶🏽 i’m so sorry for bothering you with this i just HADDD to ask

have a lovely day and don’t overwork yourself 🫶🏽

You are absolutely not bothering me with this! Thank you so much for your kind message and your request 💙 I really hope you like this drabble and that you're having a lovely day yourself ☺️

Home's Not Home Unless You're There

tags: angst | mentions of a break up | post-break up | reunion | getting back together | mentions of alcohol | hopeful ending | gn!reader

ships: Moon Knight System/Reader

AO3

Marc was the one that started it all.

One morning you woke up and he was gone; bags packed, wardrobe and bookshelves cleaned out. He even took his toothbrush with him. He had left you with only the memories of your time together, nothing else. 

He took one last look at your half-naked, sleeping form and then left. He turned into a ghost, laying low, not moving too far away but always just out of reach. This wasn’t the first time he did something like this after all. 

It was for the best - or so he told himself.

Marc knew that if he would have stuck around longer, he would drag you both down (and with his luck ‘down’ meant 6 feet under). He didn’t deserve you. Everything he touched turned to ash and he couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you too. 

He couldn’t hurt you if he was gone.

So what if he spends endless nights alone, drowning his sorrows in booze (just like his mother; she’d laugh at him, tell him what a pathetic, selfish boy he was - if she was still alive) and thinks about all the different ways he could crawl back to you?

He won’t. He can’t. If he did all of this was for nothing.

In that space between tipsy and blackout drunk he wonders if maybe he is addicted to suffering. If it was just another fucked up part of his brain that needed to feel pain to live, or maybe it was his heart? Why else does he keep running away?

When those thoughts start he just cracks open another bottle. 

-

Steven was the one that suffered the loudest.

When he woke up in the morning, having to deal with another of Marc's hangovers, he felt like crying. 

He missed you. Everything around him reminded him of you and your absence in his life. 

Marc got them a new flat and even here Steven saw you in everything; everything conjuring a memory of you together. They lived here now but it wasn’t their home. It could never be their home if you're not there with them. 

He wants to call you but Marc deleted your number. He wants to go and see you, apologize for what happened and fall back into your arms but everytime he tries he blacks out, loses time again and finds himself back at their new flat. He wants to scream at Marc, beg and reason with him, make him see that this was all a mistake, that they need you in their life but everytime Marc hides in the darkest corners of their headspace. 

He feels more lost than he did when he first found out about Marc and Jake. He feels alone, so utterly alone even when Jake tries to reassure him that they will be alright, that things will get better. 

Without you there he doesn’t believe any of it.

-

Jake was the one to end it.

Jake had been patient. He waited for Marc to see reason but instead he watched his brother hurt himself more and more until all that was left was a heartbroken, sad shell of a man. He watched Steven rage against Marc’s decisions until he couldn’t anymore, until even he was a burned out husk of his former self.

He was their protector and he had been idle for too long.

And he missed you. Even inside the headspace all he could think about was the sound of your voice, of your laugh, the feeling of your skin and lips on his, the way you smell in the morning after a long night of lovemaking.

Did you think about them too? Did you hate them? Did you miss them the same way they missed you?

He was tired of wondering, tired of watching his brothers fall apart when there was a simple solution to their suffering.

So when his brothers were sound asleep Jake took over. With a clear goal in mind he got into his car and made his way to you. He drove like a man possessed until he reached the familiar building. It was late, the sun had already fled the sky hours ago. For a moment he worried he would wake you, or worse, that you would not be there. To his relief there was light in your window.

An old neighbor let him into the building, recognizing his face. He thanked them with a smile before continuing on his path. When he finally reached the door to your flat, his hands were shaking -  all his calm gone just by the thought of seeing you again. 

Before he can overthink his plan he knocks on the door. He can hear your footsteps, and even something so trivial is making his heart ache. But nothing prepared him for the way his heart stops beating for a second when he sees you again as you open the door.

You look like you hadn’t slept in weeks, like you had been crying every day since they had left -  and yet you had never looked more beautiful.

Your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. He takes a step forward, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I am so sorry, mi vida. We are sorry. Can you forgive us?”

He can’t hear your reply, muffled as it is as you all but tackle him with your embrace, your face buried in his shirt. Your fists pound against his chest with no energy behind them. You’re angry, frustrated, but most of all relieved. 

They are back. And they won’t leave again. 

The four of you had a lot to talk about: worries, feelings, fears. There are so many questions unanswered but that was for later. 

All he knows is this: You will get through this; you’ll survive whatever comes together. Because they are finally home now.

[torubeth]

12:37

“tsumu, there are other things we could be doing instead of wasting money on this shitty thing. it never works and you know it!” you pulled at his arm which was busy with the joy stick and push button.

“and baby it’s rigged, we’ll just end up wasting our tickets! let’s find something else” you tried to reason with him.

“nuh-uh, ya wanted that plushie and i’m gettin it for ya, end of story!” he put a full stop to this convo and you knew further reasoning with him would be futile.

“i don’t want that plushie anymore okay ?” you smiled “c’mon tsumu, people are staring at us” you said, gesturing to the small crowd watching your 6ft tall boyfriend battle against the claw machine.

“ya can’t convince me babe, that damn plushie is coming home with us and it’s gonna sit among your other annoying ones on the bed!”

“oh you mean the ones you get jealous of ?”

suddenly he stops “what did ya just say ?” his eyebrows furrowed, looking at you accusingly.

“don’t act like you don’t know��� you rolled your eyes “we all know how jealous you get of my plushies. you always take em out every time you’re over” you folded your arms over your chest.

“well- yeah that’s because we do some discreet things and it’s awkward. a bunch of animals just staring at us” he visibly shivered.

“oh my god! do you have to word it like that !? and no, that’s not the reason. admit it, you’re jealous” you pushed for the truth.

his eyes darted from the machine and to you. knowing that you weren’t gonna give up, he huffed out a breadth-

“alright fine! yeah, i’m jealous okay ? ya cuddle with em everyday..and hug em ta sleep too! how can i not be envious” he pouted like a child.

chuckling, you moved to wrap your hands around his waist “yeah yeah, now- can we leave ? i’m tired and i’d really love to go home and cuddle with my boyfriend” you looked at him expectantly, already knowing the answer.

“how can i say no to that ? and fuck this!” he kicked the machine. he then left the rest of the tickets still in the slot “i hope everyone has bad luck with this!” he grinned, making you sigh heavily.

locking arms together, you both headed towards the exit when-

“oh my god! look! i got it! can you believe that !?” a kid shrieked, causing both of you to turn around.

a kid was holding the same exact plushie atsumu was fighting for and used the tickets atsumu left behind. you didn’t mind it but atsumu on the other hand-

“no. nope. absolutely not. cannot let this happen” he mumbled before before he took off in the same direction you came.

“tsumu don’t fight with him!” you yelled out, not wanting to see him argue with a kid.

however, you didn’t witness your boyfriend picking a fight with kid. rather he seemed to be in a deep conversation with him, who then quickly handed him the plushie, making you scrunch up your brows.

“here ya go! yer plushie” he mimicked your tone, grinning like his usual self.

“what- how did you manage to get it ? did you pay him or something ? i swear to god tsumu-”

“no baby, ya know i’d never do that. i just, gave him a number in exchange” he smiled.

you gaped at him “you gave him your number !? what the fuck ?” were you hearing this right ?

“nah, i gave him suna’s number”

“you what ?”

“but now that i think about it, i should’ve given him osamu’s instead” he feigned sadness but shrugged.

you could only stare at him and gape.

and that’s miya atsumu for you.

[iridescent-petrichor]

silence feels better with you, chapter five

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: JJ gets drunk and emotional

Words: 2.1K

A/N: hihi i'm back!! i was mostly done with this chapter and then my computer broke so i couldn't finish it up until a few days ago but it's finally here and now there's only one chapter left!!

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

It was six months post-breakup.

Kie stood in the middle of your bedroom, slowly inspecting the room, her gaze eventually falling on a dresser drawer you’d left slightly open. Taking a few steps to get to it, she pulled out a few old envelopes. Notes JJ had written you during the relationship. Little things, usually one sentence long scrawled on a torn-off piece of paper that he’d shoved in your locker. ‘You look cute today.’ ‘You coming to JB’s later?’ Simple things that made you smile.

“You still have these?” She asked, holding one up for you to read. ‘This class is boring. Wanna ditch?’

You stared longingly at the note, forgetting yourself for a moment. Kiara sighed, regretting grabbing the note as she shoved it back into the drawer.

“Sorry.”

You shook your head, forcing a smile onto your face. “It’s alright. I don’t even look at them anymore.”

It was a lie. You both knew it, but neither wanted to acknowledge it aloud. They were almost like a nighttime ritual for you at this point, reading a few until your heart ached then reluctantly shoving them away and falling into a restless sleep.

“Well,” Kiara gave you a sad smile, reaching out to gently grab your wrist, pulling you towards the bed. “This is a strictly boy-free night. C’mon.”

You let her pull you onto your bed, sitting beside her. She leaned over to turn off the light, pulling the covers over the both of you and giving you one last look to make sure you were okay.

Once she decided you were fine, she settled into the bed, shutting her eyes. You sighed to yourself, deciding to do the same thing, trying to let sleep overtake you.

-

You were awoken by the loud vibrating of your phone against your bedside table. With a frustrated groan, you sat up in bed, glancing at Kie. She’s still half asleep, though starting to slowly blink her eyes open.

“What the hell?” She muttered, rolling over in bed to face you.

You grabbed your phone, not bothering to look at the number as you answered the call.

“Hello?” Your voice was still groggy from sleep, rustling the bed sheets a little as you sat up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” John B’s voice rang out on the other end. You stiffened, straightening up in bed. Kiara tilted her head at you.

“Uh, just a little bit. What’s up?” Kiara tugged at your shirt, giving you a look, mouthing what’s going on?

“So I know this really isn’t your priority or anything anymore, but JJ’s really fucked up.” Even his name still made you freeze up. Shit.

John B let out a sigh, sounding just as exhausted as you felt.

“He’s really drunk and he won’t stop asking for you. Me and Pope have been trying to deal with him all night but he’s just gotten worse. Can you just come deal with him? Just for tonight?”

“I’m with Kie right now-” She perked up slightly at her own name, tugging at your shirt sleeve again.

You heard shuffling on the other line, sitting patiently waiting for a response.

“Hey!” The shuffling finally stopped when Pope’s voice rang in your ear, full of frustration. “Can you please come deal with him?”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back in the bed. “Pope-”

“He’s being insufferable right now, okay? Everything we do or say makes him talk about you and I can barely understand what he’s trying to say half the time. You’re coming to get him, end of story.”

You didn’t have time to protest before Pope hung up on you.

“Was that Pope?” Kiara asked tiredly when you put your phone back on the bedside table.

“And John B.” You muttered, reluctantly getting out of bed in spite of Kiara’s sleepy protests. “They need me to deal with JJ.”

“Seriously?” Kiara sat up, fully awake now. “Why can’t they deal with him?”

“He got too drunk.” You grabbed your keys, sighing.

“When does he not?” She threw the covers off herself, starting to get out of bed.

“He’s asking for me.”

“When does he not?”

You hesitated, casting a glance in her direction. There was an unspoken conversation between the two of you, and Kiara instantly realized there was no arguing with you.

-

The drive to John B’s wasn’t long, but your nerves felt fried by the time you arrived. You had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel the whole way, barely blinking as you stared out at the dark road ahead of you.

When you finally walked into the Chateau, Pope and John B were trying to keep JJ from getting up off the couch as he mumbled something incoherent.

“Thank god.” Pope sighed, hanging his head low.

“Can you get him into the guest room?” John B asked, visibly relaxing at the sight of you. He let go of JJ long enough that he sat up, immediately trying to get to his feet once he saw you.

Part of you thought JJ had been doing okay after the breakup, that maybe you’d been burdening him every time you called him for help after months of not speaking. Every time you’d seen him he looked at least relatively put together. Tired, but put together.

This was something unrecognizable.

His hair was a mess and his eyes were red and puffy from crying despite the growing smile on his face at the sight of you. There were dirt stains on his shirt and shorts as well as wet spots on his shirt where he spilled one of his many drinks. His steps were unsteady as he approached you.

“Hey.” He reached forward, tugging you toward him by the front of your shirt. “You look pretty.”

Your heart sped up a bit, trying to force back a smile. “Let’s get you to bed.”

After about five grueling minutes of struggling to get JJ into the guest room, he collapsed onto the bed with a grunt. He looked up at you, bleary-eyed.

“You look so pretty.”

You stiffened, trying to calm your beating heart with a forced smile.

“C’mon, under the covers.” You said gently, only to be met with drunken protests.

When you finally managed to get JJ’s combat boots off and helped him under the covers, he was still staring at you, a lazy grin painting his face.

“You’re here.”

“Yeah.” You whispered, grabbing a water bottle from the nightstand and handing it to him. “Here, drink.”

He took it, sitting up slightly and downing it in one go, grinning up at you like he’d impressed you as he set the empty bottle down. It made you smile despite yourself, leaning him back against the pillows so he would lie down.

“You staying?” He asked quietly, instinctively reaching a hand out to tug at the hem of your shirt.

At your silence, he frowned.

“Please?”

It was surprising how easily you caved when JJ begged you to do something. With a tight smile, you nodded, taking a seat beside him on the bed. Wordlessly, he helped pull the covers over you.

The only sound that filled the room was the shuffling of the bedsheets as JJ shifted closer to you. You looked down at your lap, entirely aware of JJ’s gaze on you.

“I missed you.” He whispered into the silence of the room and god, as if that wasn’t the biggest understatement of his life.

He straightened up in his spot on the bed, trying to get you to look at him.

“I miss you.”

He waited for you to respond with bated breath, trying to gauge your reaction when you finally looked at him.

“JJ-” The tone in your voice made him tense.

“No.” Despite how drunk he was, it seemed he was determined to talk this through with you. His hand fell to your arm as he tried to get you to listen to him. “I can’t- I can’t run away again. I keep just-” He let out a bitter laugh. “John B’s on my ass about talking to you. Says I’m spiraling.”

It didn’t take a genius to see that he very clearly was just by the bags under his bloodshot eyes and the way he won’t stop fidgeting, running his hands through his hair or reaching into the pocket of his cargo shorts to fiddle with his lighter.

“Anyways,” He inhaled shakily, forcing a smile. “You’re here.”

You tried to smile back. “I’m here.”

He shifted so he was facing you straight on. “I need to talk to you.”

A quiet laugh escaped you. “You’ve been talking, JJ.”

Your eyes widened slightly when he put a hand over your mouth, silencing you. “No- okay- I’ve been really stupid. Like, really stupid. I didn’t wanna break up with you.”

The mention of your breakup made your shoulders slump slightly.

“I loved you. I still do, I really really do. I know I ruined things, believe me, I know.”

“Why did you leave?” JJ instantly swallowed his words at your whispered plea, unable to look you in the eye for a moment.

“Because you’re too good for me.” He had to force the words out, his mouth feeling like it was full of chalk.

You stared at him, tilting your head slightly in confusion, your gaze softening.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He found himself distracted by you again as his hand found your jawling, his thumb rubbing along your cheek. “You scare the hell out of me sometimes.”

You couldn’t help but lean into JJ’s touch, sighing softly. “Why’s that?”

“Cause I don’t know what made you choose me.” His voice was soft, unsure. “You’re so beautiful and smart and- you have your shit together and- you’re actually gonna go somewhere in life. I just didn’t wanna drag you down.”

You frowned. “Drag me down?”

“Yes, drag you down. Are you kidding?” JJ scoffed. “I see the way people look at you when you’re with me. Like I’m some charity case.”

“I don’t look at you like that.”

JJ pulled back slightly, letting go of you in favor of running a hand through his hair. “I know. Jesus, I know. I just don’t get it. Why do you love me? Why did you love me?”

Before you could answer, he shook his head. “No. Sorry, don’t answer that. It’s my turn to talk. I need to- okay, I know I’m drunk and not making any sense but please let me talk.”

He took your silence as permission to continue.

“I love you so much. Of course I didn’t want to lose you. Of course I didn’t want to lose the one good thing going for me, okay? But- I knew I was dragging you down. I could feel it. So- so I ended it before you could.”

Your heart ached at the pain in his voice. You’d always known JJ was insecure, but you could never get used to the way he talked about himself. “JJ, I wasn’t going to- I would never-”

“I know. I know, okay? I do now, I just- fuck.” JJ reached for you, absentmindedly fiddling with your hoodie strings. “I ruined everything.”

You sighed softly, running your thumb along his cheek. The gentle touch almost made him flinch.

“You didn’t.” You tried to say, but he just forced out a wry laugh.

“I lost you.”

You frowned, trying to calm him down. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

Slowly, hesitantly, JJ looked up at you, a barely restrained desperation in his eyes. You felt his hand slide its way up to your shoulder, clinging to you.

“I love you.” His voice rang out into the quiet of the room.

You blinked away tears, trying so hard to stay composed. His other hand found its way to your arm.

“Tell me you still love me.” He whispered, clutching your arm a little tighter, trying to pull an answer from you that he knew he didn’t deserve.

Your mouth felt dry, a sickness rising in your throat as you gently laid him back down in the bed. As much as you wanted to answer him, this was not a conversation you wanted to have while he was still drunk out of his mind. “You need to get some sleep, JJ.”

JJ didn’t say a word, letting you move him with ease. You laid down beside him, resting your head on his chest like you’d done a million times before, in much better circumstances. He wrapped an arm around you, shutting his eyes tightly, trying to hold onto the emotions threatening to make him explode.

“Sometimes I don’t think I’m meant for happiness.” He whispered, not looking up at you.

You tensed, shifting slightly so you could look up at him. By the time you could even find the words to respond, he was already asleep.

[pedrito-friskito]

strawberry wine - joel miller x fem!reader

during - part five

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

and then it all comes crashing down.

a/n: outbreak day! plus the time leading up. I couldn’t bring myself to write joel’s side of the tragedy, but here we are. the start of “during”. potentially a little bit of canon-divergence from here until the “after”, but I’m trying to stick with that information we have, while filling in the gaps for reader’s story. (“after” will be when they leave boston with ellie)

word count: 4.4k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, fluff, a super brief mention of 9/11, this is definitely not as sad as part four but it’s also involves outbreak day so there’s that, canon-typical violence, death, yes I am turning reader into a badass and I will not apologize.

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You never really stop thinking about him. And he never really stops being apart of your life, not truly.

He’s the first person you call, when the Towers fall in New York, not a week after you’ve started your internship. You see it on television, standing in line to get your boss his daily latte, and you pull out your cell phone without a second thought, dialling Joel’s number. “Have you seen the news?”

A freak snowstorm stops you from getting home for Christmas that year; the airport is a disaster to get through after everything that’s happened, so you take a few days off to drive it instead, but you can’t even get out of the state, let alone across the country. So your holidays that year are spent with local friends you’ve made at work, calling your family on Christmas Day and New Year’s.

You try to call Joel on New Year’s, to wish him a good year as the clock strikes twelve, but the call goes to voicemail, and your friends are counting down the ball drop as you ramble into the phone.

Hey, it’s me! Just calling to say Happy New Year, hope you’re having a good night. And hope I get to see more of you in 2002. That year sounds so funny, doesn’t it? Talk to you soon, Joel Miller. Bye.

You almost say it, the words creeping up the back of your throat. The missing him hasn’t abated, even with the time and the distance. You sleep in one of the flannel shirts you’d stolen every night, and you’ll admit that you cried a little when you had to wash them, realizing that it would wash the scent of him away almost completely.

The phone calls get more sporadic, and you don’t blame him. There’s only an hour time difference between Texas and Massachusetts, but it feels like much more. You’re off-kilter from one another, always seeming to catch each other’s voicemail instead of the real person.

You manage to make it home for the Fourth of July the following summer, your internship having turned into a real job, but a real job that’s kept you busier than ever for the first half of the year. Your boss is, blessedly, understanding, and lets you take two weeks to go back to Austin.

He meets you at the airport, your name scrawled on a piece of paper, a bouquet of daisies in his grip, and you nearly burst into tears right there in the terminal. Your entire two weeks is filled with him, though you try to split your time between the Miller’s house and your own, letting your sister talk your ear off more than she already does on the phone, taking a few afternoons to help your dad around the hardware store. But almost every night finds you in Joel’s bed.

You all go to the park for fireworks on the Fourth. Your parents are re-introduced to Joel, though you’re both adamantly just calling each other “good friends” — which earns you an eye roll from your sister. Sarah runs around the field with the other kids, waving sparklers and giggling like mad. You stick close to Joel, the three of you sitting on a blanket in the grass, and you watch the firework together, your head resting on his shoulder, his arm swung around your waist. Sarah’s too preoccupied with the firework display to notice.

When you get home the next morning, your sister hands you a polaroid, the words July 4th 2002 written in sharpie along the border. It’s you and Joel, backlit, your head on his shoulder as a gigantic white firework explodes in the night sky. You don’t know what to say.

“I know you never wanted to leave him,” she says, and you nearly burst into tears as you hug her.

It’s another tearful goodbye when your two weeks are up, and you’re a fool to think it’d be any easier than the first time. You say goodbye to your parents first, and Joel picks you up in his truck, taking you to the airport. He kisses you deeply outside, burying his hands in your hair and squeezing you tight before letting you go.

And always the same farewell, the same thing he said when you first left, the same thing he’s said at the end of every phone call.

“Take care of yourself, baby.”

+

You meet Dean through a friend of a friend.

It’s almost Christmas, 2002, and you haven’t been home since July. Your phone calls with Joel have dwindled to almost non-existent; you just don’t have the time. Work is busy, to the point where you find yourself still sat at your desk until nearly midnight some nights. And you’re still missing each other, voicemails left occasionally, the missed calls stacking up through the week until it’s the weekend and you feel too tired to put yourself through the heartbreak of hearing his voice.

Hey, darlin’, it’s me. I keep missin’ ya, I guess. Hope you’re doin’ okay. Don’t work too hard, yeah? Been thinking about you a lot and I just…Take care of yourself.

It felt like a goodbye. Standing in your kitchen, takeout spread out on your counter, chopsticks in hand. He hadn’t said it, not specifically. There was no I can’t do this anymore, no this hurts too much, doesn’t it hurt you too? But it still felt like a finality, of sorts.

You took the takeout to bed with a bottle of wine.

That weekend, your friends drag you out to some party. A housewarming thing for someone you don’t know, a fancy loft on the other side of the city. It’s as good a reason as any to get out of your head, throwing on a new dress and a bit of makeup. You do shots in your apartment before piling into a cab, tipsy by the time you get to the party. There’s lots of faces you don’t know, your friends pulling you through the crowds, one of them grinning at you.

“You have to meet Dean.”

He’s tall. Sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes and he’s a lawyer. He laughs at your jokes and gets you another drink when you finish your first. He’s from Boston; a pure-bred, he tells you, and chuckles when you ask to see his pedigree.

You wake up in his bed the next day, your dress and shoes scattered on the floor of his stupidly nice apartment, head throbbing with a hangover, guilt bubbling up on your tongue like bile. Dean makes you coffee and calls you a cab, gives you a business card with his number on it. “God, this feels like a business deal,” he says, shaking his head, nearly taking the card back. “I can find a takeout menu or something, write my number on that instead.”

“No, this is good,” you laugh, and the guilt mixes with something strangely giddy when he kisses you goodbye.

When you get home, you wrap yourself in the flannel you’d taken from Joel, and weep. Part of you whispers that you shouldn’t feel guilty, that Joel’s all the way across the country, that you two aren’t technically together to begin with, but it does little to ease the ache in your chest.

Your friend calls in the early afternoon, and when she hears the crack in your voice, she’s on your doorstep not thirty minutes later. You spill your guts — recount the story of you and Joel, show her the polaroid from the Fourth of July, tell her everything, until you’re crying on your couch again.

“Honey, maybe you should talk to him,” she tells you, and you know she’s right, but the idea of talking to Joel just makes your chest hurt more. “This isn’t good for either of you, holding on like this when you can’t be together. Talk to him.”

Joel beats you to the punch, calling you shortly after your friend has left. “Hey, finally got you instead of your voicemail.”

“Hah, yeah,” you reply, sinking a little deeper into the couch. “Sorry I keep missing you.”

“S’okay,” he mumbles, and it only hurts more when you can almost see him in your head, sitting on his couch or at the edge of his bed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” you lie, wiping the wet from your cheeks. “Just busy lately, y’know?”

“Yeah,” he agrees, then pauses. “You sure you’re okay?”

You inhale deeply, feeling the air rattle its way through your lungs. “Joel, I met someone.”

It’s a long moment, before he says anything, so long you think you’ve lost him for a second, that he hung up. But then, “That’s good.”

“Is it?”

“No,” he says instantly, and you both let out watery laughs. “No, but it…It is good. You’re all the way out there and I’m here and…Missin’ you, not havin’ you around, it hurts, y’know?”

“I do,” you agree, biting into your lower lip when it wobbles. “I miss you too, Joel, it’s just—”

“I know, baby,” he replies, and the tone in his voice makes your eyes slip shut, tears pouring down your cheeks. “I gotta go, I promised Sarah movie night. We’ll….we’ll talk soon, alright?” A pause. “Take care of yourself.”

The line goes dead for real then, and you launch your phone across the room, groaning when it lands on the carpet and doesn’t smash to pieces. You bury yourself in the pillows on the couch, and just cry.

Dean calls the following week, and asks you out to dinner. Dinner evolves into more than that, more dates and more conversation. He works two blocks down from you, and brings you coffee every morning on his way to his office. He takes you to museums and art galleries and introduces you to his friends. It’s easy to fall for him, and you let yourself do it. He kisses you at midnight on New Year’s, whispers that 2003 is going to be the best year of your lives.

You have no idea how wrong he will turn out to be.

+

It’s September 26th, 2003. It’s your twenty-fifth birthday.

It starts out like a normal day; as normal as it can be, lately. You’ve made a point to ignore the news as best you can, letting Dean recap it for you when he gets home each day, filling you in on the water cooler talk that you only half listen to.

Dean’s up and gone when you wake up, but there’s a birthday card beside your pillow, a cartoon cake with a silly face. You’re another year older… And the inside reads: and other year cuter! Happy Birthday! It’s cheesy and you scoff out a laugh, getting up and going about your morning routine. A fire truck screams down the road when you walk out of the building, cop cars trailing after it, but you think nothing of it; sirens are a common occurrence in the city.

It’s a short walk from your apartment — the apartment you now share with Dean, the pair of you having relocated somewhere that was closer to both your jobs — to work, and you stop by your favourite coffee shop, only slightly disappointed when they don’t have the raspberry scones you like. “It’s a supply chain thing,” the girl behind the counter tells you with a shrug. “They haven’t been able to get ingredients in for weeks. I’m just glad we have coffee.”

“That makes two of us,” you agree, taking your cup with a nod. “Have a good day!”

“You, too!”

There’s a big bouquet of roses waiting on your desk, the card signed with Dean’s name, and the other girls ooh and ahh at the arrangement. One of them asks you if you think he’ll propose, and you have to resist the urge to sprint in the opposite direction.

Dean calls on your lunch break, tells you he’s already pre-ordered from your favourite Thai place, and it’ll be waiting for you when you get home from your post-work drinks with your friends. When he tells you he loves you, it still makes your chest ache, just a touch.

You still think about Joel. It’s hard not to. After that last call, when you told him you’d met Dean, you called back a few days later, unable to stop yourself. There were apologies, from both him and you, and the conversation ended with a promise that you’d still stay in touch, that it would still be friendly between you, and that maybe someday could be an option, if the time was right, but you wouldn’t stand in each other’s way.

So you’ve stayed in touch. The phone calls are still more sporadic than anything, but it’s always nice to hear his voice, and he always has a joke to crack. And, consistent Joel Miller, at the end of every phone call: “Take care of yourself, darlin’.”

You get a surprising amount of work done that day, your friends appearing at five o’clock on the dot and dragging you away from your computer. You let them buy you happy hour drinks and put a Birthday Princess tiara on your head, laugh your way through the evening until it’s almost nine. You thank you friends and leave the bar, and think as you walk past one of the little corner store grocery shops that you could really use a chocolate bar.

You’re walking down the toiletries aisle, the basket hanging from your elbow filled with not just chocolate, but a few other things you couldn’t resist, when your phone rings, an Austin area code flashing on the screen.

“I didn’t know today was your birthday,” Joel says by way of hello, and you giggle. “How have I known you this long and not known that you and I have the same birthday?”

“You never asked,” you answer, reaching for a tissue box with a fun pattern, “and it never came up, really. Wait, today’s your birthday too?”

“Thirty-six and still breathin’,” he confirms, and you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face. “I stopped by the hardware store today for a few things, your dad told me.”

“Ahh.” Your parents had called you just before you’d left for work. “That store must be so boring without me in it.”

“It really is,” Joel agrees, and then his voice drops. “No one around to make out with in the aisles.” A beat, and then. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you say quickly, shaking your head even though you know he can’t see it, the memory of being pressed between the shelves of paint cans and Joel Miller making your face heat. “It’s a good memory.”

“It is,” he agrees, making a little humming noise. “So, boyfriend got big plans for you tonight?”

“Thai food and a movie,” you tell him, grabbing a bottle of toilet cleaner. “Just left the bar, had some drinks with my work friends. Never really been a big birthday person, y’know?”

“You’re preaching to the choir, darlin’.”

“What about you, Joel Miller?” you ask, heading down the next aisle. A lot of the shelves are empty, and it makes your brow furrow. “What big birthday plans do you have this evening?”

“Hah, none,” he replies. “Working a double with Tommy, just took a break now. Told Sarah I’d be home by nine, but I don’t know if that’ll work out. They gave us the wrong size for the headers and…” He trails off. “That doesn’t mean anything to you, does it?”

“I’d listen to you read the phone book,” you joke. “At least get yourself a cake? Something like that? If I’d known we shared the same birthday I would have had my sister bring something over for you.”

“Sarah made me breakfast, got me out of bed on time. That’s all I need, really.”

“Is it?”

You don’t mean the question to sound as heavy as it does, and silence hangs between you for a long moment before you stutter out an apology. Joel’s quick to change the subject.

“Boyfriend is still your boyfriend, right? No ring on your finger yet?”

“You know, you’re the second person to bring that up today,” you say, heading down the next aisle. It’s just as empty as the one before, and your confusion deepens. “You want the truth?”

“Generally.”

“If he asked, I don’t think I’d say yes.” Heat rises in your face, and you stutter again. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“You can tell me anything,” he replies, and there’s a softness in his tone that you recognize, making warmth spread through your chest. “I’m always here for you, darlin’. I know things are different now, but I’m still here.”

“I appreciate that.”

You hear Tommy’s voice in the background, and Joel curses under his breath. “I gotta go. Enjoy your night. Happy Birthday.”

“You, too. Happy Birthday, Joel,” you reply, a smile in your voice, and then the line clicks off.

You loop through the rest of the aisles, sliding your phone back into your pocket. When you ask the cashier about the empty shelves, you get the same answer you’d gotten at the coffee shop. “Supply chain issues.”

The apartment is quiet when you get inside, tossing your keys into the bowl beside the door. The Thai food is sitting on the counter, as promised, and you set your grocery bags down beside it, stealing a few noodles before calling for Dean. “Honey, I’m home!”

There’s no response, and you assume he must be in the shower, so you pad down the hall. The bedroom light is off, moonlight flooding through the window, and as you step into the doorway, you see him, standing there, facing the window. His hands are at his sides, and as you watch, his hand twitches, the movement making your brow furrow.

“Dean?” you call, taking a half-step forward. In an instant, something feels wrong, and worry rises in your chest, makes your heart racket against your ribs. “Babe, what’s going on?”

He turns then, so fast you can’t even blink before it happens. And he just…stares. There’s no light in his eyes, just a dead look that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. You say his name again, the worry seeping into your voice, and then he snarls.

“Fuck.”

You don’t understand what’s happening, but your body seems to react of it’s own accord. Dean lunges toward you, an inhuman sound falling out of him, and your eyes skirt around, looking for something to protect yourself with as he scrambles over the bed, limbs flailing, those dead eyes boring into you. Your hand flashes out, curling around the leather-wrapped handle of the baseball bat, and as you’re knocked to the ground, you use it as a barrier, shoving the metal against his chest.

His face is all wrong. It’s not just the dead eyes; his teeth are yellowed and his gums blackened as he snaps at you, trying to claw at you. White marks have risen all over his face, spreading out like a map beneath his skin.

What the fuck is going on?

You manage to plant your foot on his chest, and shove with all your might, yelling as the movement makes your knees twinge. He doesn’t go far, but it’s enough to get him off of you, and you scramble backwards, throwing the door shut as you run for the kitchen, the bat held tightly in your grasp. Heart racing, you find the biggest knife you can in the kitchen, sucking down hurried breaths. You’re in shock.

There’s a flash of red outside the balcony door, and you turn to see flames explode from the building across from yours. On the streets below, cars start to crash into each other, the sound of sirens twice as loud. You can hear people screaming, even through the glass.

A loud bang pulls you back into the apartment, and you turn just as Dean comes sprinting down the hall, losing his balance and skidding across the carpet. You throw the kitchen knife as he lunges for you, but it misses, the blade bouncing off his chest and sliding beneath the coffee table. A guttural growl echoes through the apartment, and when he leaps at you, you swing.

Your first hit smacks his shoulder. It doesn’t do much, but he lets out a pained yowl and when you swing again, there’s a sickening crack. He swipes at you, lunging again as you stumble backwards through the living room, the couch toppling over as you both fall onto it. His fingers dig into your shoulder and you scream, pain radiating through your arm, but you tighten your grip on the bat and ram the end of it into his face.

Another growl, another swing. You manage to get to your feet, blood pouring down your arm, painting your blouse crimson, and you put the kitchen island between you and him, moving quickly, keeping the bat held high.

When he jumps again, you swing. Hard. The bat connects with his temple, his neck cracking loudly as his head snaps to the side, and he slumps to the ground, blood pouring from his mouth. The metal rings as you drop the bat, collapsing onto the kitchen floor a moment later, blinding grabbing for one of the dishrags hanging from the stove, covering your shoulder with it and clamping your hand over the wound.

Why is this happening?

You’re not quite sure how long you’re sat there, curled against the cabinets. The bleeding on your shoulder slows, but doesn’t stop completely, and you’re starting to feel lightheaded. Not just the blood loss, you know, but the shock. Dean’s body has stopped twitching, but there’s something seeping out of his mouth, curling across the tile. When you spot the movement, you’re on your feet in a second, blinking past the momentary wooziness, grabbing the bat again.

When you click on the television, a loud beep echoes, nothing but a black screen, and you try to change the channel, but it’s the same on every one. Finally, the beep ends, and a robotic voice takes its place.

…indoors. Law enforcement and emergency services are in the area and will be in contact with further instructions. Stay indoors…

Over and over again.

Your arm is pulsing, the rag on your shoulder wet with blood. You need to clean it, you think. You need some water, you need to—

The phone starts ringing. Your phone. Cell phone. Where you left it, in your purse. Your purse is by the door, across the apartment. You have to walk around Dean to get there, and you go slow, your eyes glued to his unmoving form. The bat is still in your hand, the end of it dragging over the carpet as you walk towards the door. Another metallic noise when it hits hardwood.

Your eyes are still on Dean as you dig in your purse, on the thing still coming out of his mouth, crawling along the grout lines in the tile. Out, out, out, you need to get out, you need to get away, you need to—

Your fingers close around your cell. Hit the button, bring it to your ear.

“Are you safe?” Joel barks, and you nearly drop the phone, the sound of his voice slamming you back into your head, your breath hitching so hard you almost choke. “Baby, where are you?”

“Home,” you cry, leaning against the wall, gripping the bat so hard your knuckles hurt. “I-I got home and Dean, he just…he…I…” You wheeze, your breath not enough, your head feeling lighter, your vision spotting with black. “He’s dead. I’m bleeding.”

“It’s everywhere,” he says, his voice low, and he keeps talking, but you don’t think he’s talking to you. You space out, your gaze glued to the body on your floor, until Joel says your name. “Why are you bleeding? What happened?”

“He…” you trail off, your eyes focusing on Dean’s bloody knuckles, limp on the kitchen floor. “He grabbed me, he…he was trying to bite me.”

“Did he?”

“No,” you say, your voice sounding a bit more sure. You shake your head, pressing your palm against your shoulder. The pain spikes, but it helps, clears your head a bit. “It’s a scratch. Deep.”

“You need to clean it, you hear me?” Joel says. “Patch yourself up, baby, all right? You have a first aid kit?”

You drop the bat, pressing the back of your hand against your forehead. You’re shaking. “In the bathroom.”

“Good, go, do it now. I’m not hanging up until you do.”

You reach for the bat again, use it as a prop to get back to your feet. You cast Dean’s still form one more glance before retreating down the hallway. He’d burst through the bedroom door, and wood splinters cover the floor, the door still half on its hinge, split down the middle.

“Joel, why is this happening?” you ask, your voice climbing, fear taking over. You get into the bathroom, momentarily shaken by your appearance in the mirror. Your hair wild, the blood smeared along your chest and neck, your stained and torn blouse. “What is happening?”

“I don’t know,” he replies, and the thread of fear in his voice makes tears spring in your eyes. “But I want you to listen to me, okay? You patch yourself up, you grab what you can, and you run. You understand? Get in your car and get out of the city, as fast as you can. You don’t wait, you don’t stop for anyone, and you just keep going.”

You nod for a moment before you realize he can’t see you. “Okay. What do I…?”

“I’ll find you, baby,” he says, and the surety in his voice makes everything in you ache. “I’m gonna find you, you hear me? Just get out of Boston and I swear to you, I’m—”

Static. Dead air. Gone.

“Joel? No, come back, Joel, please—” You stare at the phone, try to redial the number, hit the button over and over and over and over. No signal, the screen informs you.

Nothing. Nothing but the sound of your own heartbeat, the rapid pulse against your ribs, the breaths that seem to rattle through your lungs. Outside of that, silence.

You slam the phone down, slam your hands against the bathroom sink.

“Joel!”

PREV | NEXT

[gigicreates562]

Come to Gloat? - Fred Weasley x Reader

Fred and Y/n get into an argument before a risky mission. Y/n leaves without him, only to return with a gash in her side. Will Fred say I told you so, or does he have something different in mind? 

TW: Blood

Word Count: 1016

—---------------------

“You’re not going,” He said firmly. 

“Yes, I am, Fred. You can’t stop me,” She bit back. 

“It’s a suicide mission! You’ll never make it back alive!”

“I know the risks! It’s my decision to make,” she replied, zipping up her jacket forcefully. 

Truthfully she was scared, this mission was dangerous, deadly even, but she just didn’t care. She was desperate to prove herself: to her family, to the Order, and to him. She would do anything, no matter dangerous it was. 

“What if something happens to you?” Fred rationalized. The fear in her surged again, but she pushed it down quickly. 

“You certainly did fine when you left me back at Hogwarts. I’m sure you’ll manage again,” She hissed. 

With those words, what started as a small quarrel had just crossed the line into a major argument. His past actions had left a dark cloud on their friendship for too long. Fred had apologized, even begged her to forgive him, but to forgive was easy. Forget? Not so much. 

“Are you seriously implying that I would be fine if you died?” His brow furrowed in frustration, “Look, I’m sorry I left you back then, I thought we had this worked out already,” Fred pleaded.

“Fred!” She shouted, “You’re not my Dad. You’re not my boyfriend. This isn’t your decision to make.” Her venom sunk into his skin, leaving behind a foul taste in her mouth. 

“And here I thought our friendship actually meant something to you,” He laughed bitterly, stung by her words. He wished he was one of those things, and this argument was a painful reminder that he was not. 

“Yeah, well, best mates or not, I’m going, and that’s final.” She stomped out of the flat, slamming the door behind her. 

“Y/n, please!” He begged, voice faltering just a little too late.

The crack of apparition pierced through the door, leaving Fred utterly alone.  

…

Fred felt sick all night. And here I thought our friendship actually meant something to you. The words taunted him. Those awful, poisonous words may very well be the last thing he would ever say to his best friend. She would never know how he really felt, how much he truly cared for her.  

He didn’t sleep. He couldn’t. He tried, but after an hour of tossing and turning, he switched on the news hoping the constant droning of the newscaster would lull him to sleep. 

The Ministry continues to deny all claims of He Who Must Not Be Named’s return. Sources state that Harry Potter is to blame for the rebel numbers growing… blah blah blah… Muggle disappearances… blah blah blah… attempted break-in to a pureblood household… one rebel dead… one severely injured and at large… blah blah… The escaped rebel is said to have Y/h/c hair, y/e/c eyes, and is bleeding severely. If you see them please notify authorities. Report suspicious activity immediately to… blah blah blah blah.

…

Fred didn’t remember nodding off, but he must have, because abruptly he was awoken by someone rummaging around in the bathroom. 

Quietly, Fred made his way to the source of the noise. 

“Come to gloat?” Y/n winced as she attempted to clean the large gash in her side. She dabbed around the wound carefully with a wet rag, doing her best to hide her reaction to the stinging liquid. Her shirt lay forgotten on the counter, no longer its original white color, but rather a sickly red. 

“You were right,” She continued through clenched teeth, “It was suicide. The bastard had the whole thing covered in enchantments. We never stood a chance.” 

She eyed Fred cautiously in the mirror. His gaze was transfixed on her, a hint of sadness tinting his stoic expression. 

“Well go on then, scold me,” She ordered, wishing he would just get it over with, “Come on, say I told you so.”

This wasn’t like Fred. Normally when he proved her wrong, she couldn’t live it down. He would take every opportunity possible to rub it in her face, but not this time. This time he just looked at her like a wounded dove as she wrapped her injury in fresh cotton. She hated it. She could take a lot of his smug reminders, but pity? Pity was somehow much much worse.

“Go on!” She snapped, turning to look at him, “Yell, scream, hex me into next Tuesday, say something!” 

Fred treaded softly into her space, his worried stare stripping her defenses and bringing a soft heat to her cheeks. His face was contorted with a pained expression, seemingly caught in an internal battle. Slowly, he reached a hand up to cup her face. Why wouldn’t he just get mad? 

“Just say I told you so! Why aren’t you mad at me?” She pleaded, feeling uneasy with his sudden tenderness. 

Fred answered her question silently by lowering his mouth onto hers. Warmth immediately blossomed in her chest, spreading rapidly throughout her body. The faint scent of fireworks lingered behind from his work, flooding her senses as his mouth moved against hers. His tongue pushed into her mouth through slightly parted lips, emitting a soft gasp from her. He was dizzying. She was positively sure she was floating an inch off the floor.

All too quickly, he pulled away, leaving her tingling all over. Silence settled throughout the room. The sound of their breath echoed off the bathroom walls. 

“I should’ve done that a long time ago,” He breathed, causing her head to spin again. 

“Fred, I’m so sor-” Her sentence was interrupted by a swift kiss, leaving her breathless once more. 

“Me too,” he smiled down at her, thanking every god he knew that those words weren’t their last.

They stared at each other, relaxing in the other’s company. 

“Bed?” She asked. 

“Bed,” he laughed, kissing her on the forehead before leading her back to his room.  

The couple may have begun with a shaky start, but Fred didn’t care. He was just happy that he would never spend another night, wishing he had told her. 

[adorastarot]

A message from BTS for you - Mini reading

Hii everyone and welcome to my second PAC reading! Today we are asking for a message from BTS for you <3 I hope that this PAC reading will help you understand the present better and help move towards the future that you want to manifest!

How to choose a pile: Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Ask the universe if there is a message that you need to hear right now. You may either hear a number or be drawn to a pack once you open your eyes! If the message doesn't resonate then it may not be for you.

♡ Want a personal reading? Check out my Ko-fi

Pile 1

2 of cups, king of wands, the hanged man, knight of wands, 7 of pentacles

Jin & Namjoon are stepping up for this message, the colours are red, orange and yellow. The energy feels very vibrant but calm?! They’re not excited per se, they just want to be present today and help light a fire in you. 

“Slow down when it comes to romance, not every frog will turn into a prince charming (not everyone can be as handsome as me *wink* - Jin) You may be trying too hard right now to find your other half, might be giving chance after chance to people who aren’t worthy of you. You have to take a break, otherwise, you will end up sacrificing the most important things to you - love, integrity, passion and stability in exchange for the desire that lasts a couple of days. Time is not running out, people sometimes are not what you expect them to be. You will find your soulmate one day, but you have to be ok with your own journey first. Do you love yourself? Even just a bit, even if it’s just some days.  What kind of life are you creating? You have put so much work into this - not sit back and enjoy the things that you have achieved. For some of you - what’s the worst that can happen if you stop looking for love? What if you never get married, but find the love of your life tomorrow? Would you be ok with this?

Pile 2

The devil, 8 of swords, knight of cups, 4 of swords, 9 of pentacles

Jimin and Hoseok are coming forward for this one and Yoongi wants to be present but is choosing to stay in the background. The energy of this reading is a bit more…closed off. Associated colours are black, dark blue, royal blue, deep grey.

“The only thing stopping you right now is yourself. You are stopping yourself from achieving greatness but do you even realise you are doing it? Why are you scared? I have your back, we are all here for you so just give it a try. What’s the worst that can happen? You may need to work on attachment and codependent relationships in your life. It’s time to choose heart over wisdom. Be free?! Free yourself of everything that is holding you down. Be careful with those around you - your support group. The people around you can either build you up or knock you down so please make sure that you0 have people around you that deserve to have you around. Even if at times you feel alone, I am here.” You know that video of Jimin saying something like - there is someone here in the city of Seoul who understands you? That’s the image that is coming through, that is what Jimin is wearing and the way he is sat during this message. “Sleep, make sure you sleep better and take the time to relax, enjoy life a little bit more”

Pile 3

Death, knight of pentacles, 2 of swords, 5 of cups, queen of wands

Ok so Taehuyng wants to take this one by himself ahaha his energy right now is very…beige ahahaha that’s the energy of this reading, very pastel-y colours, pastel yellow, pastel blue, pastel purple. He is sat down ready to talk with his face leaning on one hand.

“This is different, right? Did you expect something like this? Oh the amount of change you have been going through this year. You are like a phoenix rising from the ashes. You can’t remember the person that you were in 2022 can you? That’s ok. Take it slowly, baby steps, one step at a time. Let the sadness in your heart become the art of life, let it become your inspiration as you move forward and discover your true self. Be sad, cry if you have to, but at times remember to cry out of happiness too! Try to have those moments of so much happiness that you can’t help but let it all out.  You are a force to be reckoned with. Take your time and feel every single emotion as the clock won’t go back and you won’t be able to experience the same thing twice.

Sending all the love your way <3

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

[alohajun]

♡ MY PILLOW — CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

bf!seungcheol x gn!reader | wc : 0.7k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, established relationship, domestic fluff, mentions of insomnia, mentions of schedules | loki’s lines : atp i'm in too deep 😭 also why can i write for everyone except my biases and it's all your fault ash 😭 @ethereal-engene

"how many nights does it take to count the stars?"

you wondered to yourself, watching the ceiling fan rotate slowly above you, glancing between it and the neon star stickers on your ceiling, trying to fall asleep.

feeling your eyes droop, you turned to the side, getting a glance at your bedside clock before you slept. 02:14, it read. the blissful sleep didn't last long.

you opened your eyes again, knowing very well your sleep was short-lived. and looking at your clock, which read 02:21, you realised you only got seven proper minutes of sleep. 

"i can't do this anymore!" you yelled, thrashing around in your bed and throwing your blankets to the side. "i just want to sleep!" you sat up on your bed, hugging your knees and letting out the frustrations of the past few sleepless weeks.

after what seemed like forever, you took a few more deep breaths, gathering the strength to at least go to the living room.

alas, only more tears made their way down your face, frustrated with the situation of not being able to fall asleep.

finally, getting yourself off the bed, you were about to fall back when you heard the front door open, signaling someone had entered your house. 

and considering it was two in the morning, it could only be one person.

you went towards your front door, peeking quietly and watching the person you had expected to walk in.

choi seungcheol. due to his crowded schedule, he was staying at the dorms, away from you. usually, seungcheol wasn't the one to make late-night appearances, but he felt the need to come to you — even though it was really late.

and meeting your tear-filled eyes as soon as he walked inside, seungcheol thanked whatever gut feeling he got, relieved he could be there for you.

seungcheol looked at you with a fond smile, closing the door and dropping his bag to the floor. "couldn't sleep?" he questioned, extending his arms as he invited you into his embrace. "hey, it's alright. i'm right here, babe." he rubbed your back, assuring you he wasn't going anywhere.

"i know," you answered, wiping away your tears now that you knew seungcheol was there. “it's so frustrating when you want to sleep, but can’t.” a sad smile came on your face when you saw him nod, wordlessly agreeing with you.

you couldn't sleep because of your insomnia. and seungcheol couldn't sleep because he had too many things to do.

both of you suffered whenever you two were apart, but when together, a peaceful sleep was always guaranteed.

"let's go get some much-needed sleep!"

"yay! let's go!"

the two of you were like little children, racing to your room as you immediately found yourself in seungcheol's embrace, him holding you close as you two made yourselves comfortable.

"i missed this." seungcheol sighed in content, resting his chin on your shoulder. “no wonder i haven't been able to get any sleep these past weeks."

you smiled, hugging seungcheol's arms that he wrapped around you. "tell me about it. the number of times i've cried because i wanted to sleep and couldn't is unimaginable." you felt at ease at his touch, sighing in relief as he pulled you closer. "let's just catch up on sleep. two days at a stretch sound good to you?"

"make it five days." seungcheol's words made you laugh, making him feel the little vibrations against his chest. "i'm sorry i stayed so long at the dorms. i would've come earlier, but there was so much to do."

"it's alright, cheolie." you patted his arm in assurance. "it would've been difficult to keep coming and going from here, anyway. you are here now, and that's all that matters."

seungcheol tapped on your side, helping you turn around so he could see your face. "you are always so understanding." he brushed your hair out of your face, a smile of adoration on his face. "i wonder from time to time if everything is difficult on you."

"not at all. because i know at the end of the day, i have you!" you shook your head, placing your arms around the male as you rested your head on his chest. "now ... let's sleep," you murmured, oddly enough feeling drowsy.

seungcheol frowned slightly, patting the pillows you had abandoned to lie on his chest. "the pillows are right there, y/n." he didn't think your gesture was intentional, assuming you were going to move back.

"why use those when i have you? you are my new pillow, cheol."

[nightghoul381]

Dressed in Midnight ~ Victor (POV) x Reader

Entry number 3 in @judejazza's An Invitation to Crown Castle event!

Pairing: Victor (POV) x Reader Prompt: Dressed in Love Genre: Angst CW: Reader death, sad boys, descriptions of grief WC: 1.9k

A/N: I was mad at Victor for tricking me into getting my hopes up for Ellis TWICE in the Wedding Lily gacha but I think I went too far... I made myself sad while writing this....

Never has the darkness felt so black. Never has the dawn felt so hopeless. I can’t chase away the bitter ache in my chest and the numbness of my entire being.

A very faint knock at my door followed by Will’s voice asking to enter hits my ears but it feels so distant I hardly recognize it as such. Lost in my own mind, I feel myself jolt at the sudden pressure on my shoulder.

“Victor, it’s time to select an outfit.”

William’s quiet reminder sends another shooting paint through my chest, forcing me to clutch at my shirt and squeeze my eyes closed to stave off the tears.

I knew this moment would come. Simply put, as your lover, all had decided that I should be the one to decide what you ought to wear. I swallow back the thick emotion in my throat, forcing myself to my feet before turning to Will, careful not to meet his eyes.

I cannot bear to the see the emotions sure to be reflected there, his own sorrow and pain mixed with the pity and condolence he would have toward me. That would be far too much for me to handle in this state.

Clearing my throat, I nod and walk out the door.

The hall seems endless, and at the same time, far too short. In no time at all I find myself in your room, several lovely outfits laid across your bed or hanging along display racks.

Liam, the dear boy, has decided to become invisible, possibly in an attempt to give me the illusion of solitude as I make this decision. He doesn’t understand that I know he’s here, that I always know when one of my Cursed are near.

I simply decide to let the boy watch as I slowly make my way around the room. Each outfit bringing back such vivid, beautiful memories that I cannot help but wish to lose myself in them. I raise one hand to run my fingers over the delicate fabric of one of the shirts that was laid upon your bed.

Sunlight dappling the ground below the tree we sat beneath highlights the softness of your features as you sleep, resting peacefully against my thighs while I contemplate how precious you are to me. The chill breeze blows through the leaves, stirring you from your slumber.

You blink up at me with those sleep fogged eyes, a heart-warming smile spreading across your lips as you see me looking down at you.

“Have you just been watching me sleep?” You murmur, letting out a slow yawn before sitting up and stretching your arms above your head.

“What would you say if I have?” I reply, brushing my hand against your cheek. I cannot deny the way my heart soars as you nuzzle your cheek against my palm with such a look of absolute affection.

“I’d say, I love you too.”

I slowly exhale, straining to regain my composure through the wetness building in my eyes. Such beautiful memories, and yet others more wonderful still.

My gaze travels to the outfit I could dream of seeing you in a thousand times.

I need to squint my eyes against the bright sunlight pouring in through the window as I await your presence near the entryway. Butterflies are fluttering uncontrollably in my stomach as my excitement and anticipation grow, lovely music filling the room around me as William’s fingers dance across the keys of the piano.

Finally, I see your silhouette break through the blinding light, my breath stolen away by your captivating radiance. My heart is hammering in my chest as you walk toward me, face beaming with affection and joy that I know is reflected in my own. Such absolute serenity I cannot describe, when your hand meets mine.

Words flow with steadfast certainty until at last “I pronounce thee two wed.”

I cradle your chin as you look up at me expectantly. Our lips meet in consummation, our vows of endearing and everlasting love to each other sealed in this moment.

Cheers and applause sound around us by our gathered companions, however I am wholly enthralled with your presence and naught but a faint echo of their adoration graces the moment.

“I love you, my perfect little robin.”

At the sudden ferocity of the memory that floods my mind, I am unable to fight back the tears any longer. Perhaps our dear Ellis was right in his desire to end the lives of those he loves in their happiest moment, surely that would be far better than the all-encompassing agony I am feeling now.

I somehow manage to still myself enough to remain quiet, only the strained breathing of myself and the quiet breathing of Liam dare be heard in your room. This room is far too precious to be tainted with such sorrowful sounds.

My eyes fall at last upon the ensemble I know to be the one I’ll choose. I’ve known all along that you would wish it, and I am loathe to deny you anything. I push a heavy exhale out between my lips as I first approach the very outfit you wore when you first arrived at Crown.

How different might your life have been, little robin, if you’d not opted to stop and help that young child on that fateful day. Your mundane day-to-day would continue as it always had, earning enough money to see shows at the Scala every so often, carefree, and untainted by the blackness of what occurred that night.

Turning away from that unassuming uniform, I finally settle my eyes on your outfit. The one we chose together the day we admitted our feelings for one another.

I turn to Liam and motion to the clothing. The young man slowly returns to view, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he nods and collects the garments.

Golden rays of the setting sun glisten on your hair as you pull me excitedly to the next shop. You’ve been so enthusiastic about this shopping trip, I admit I find myself somewhat in awe. No one before has been eager to accompany me, let alone pull me along with such passion.

I feel my heart begin to race as you turn your bright smile toward me. I’ve denied my feelings for you for far too long. In this moment I know without a shadow of a doubt that you have become the single most important person in my entire world. The realization causes me to freeze in place, your own movement stopped as well.

“Victor is everything okay?” You inquire, your eyebrows knitting together with concern.

Yes, I understand completely now. Every moment with you makes the sky feel brighter, the joy within me bubbling up with such ferocity I can’t possibly hold back any longer.

I let my lips crack in a wide grin, moving forward and scooping you into my arms. You let out the most adorable startled squeak as I hug you to my chest with a laugh from deep in my chest.

“Everything is wonderful! You see, I’ve just discovered a new truth about myself and I couldn’t be happier!” I exclaim, setting you down and looking into your lovely blushing face.

“Oh, well, I’m very glad for you then,” You reply, still clearly confused at my sudden departure from character.

“Ah, but my sweet robin, I must tell you that the new discovery has all to do with you,” I admit.

Your eyes grow even wider and I swear I see a flicker of hope flash across your face at my confession. I lean forward, our faces mere inches apart and murmur with the utmost sincerity “I’ve discovered that I’ve fallen in love with you.”

I hear your breath catch and suddenly your arms are wrapped around my neck and your face is even closer.

“Really?! Are you sure?” You plead, eyes so bright and imploring that I can’t help but understand how my own passion is reflected within their depths. In response, I lean forward and gingerly press my lips against yours.

Your arms immediately tighten, your mouth moving greedily against mine and I feel my heart soar. The racing of my heart has progressed to thunder as I feel my mind flooded with the thrill of your returned affections.

When at last we begrudgingly part, you looks into my eyes and swear, “I’ve fallen in love with your too, Victor. I’ve been in love since the moment we first met.”

My giddiness is unbridled as I announce, “Then we shall commemorate this moment!”  We happily make our way into the shop you had intended to go to, hands linked and an air of pure bliss surrounding us. Then I see it. Stunning jet black and midnight hues set the stage for the glistening embroidered details like the deepest night sky.

I lift the garment and hold it out to you.

“Do try this on. I should love to see how stunning you looked dressed in something of my choosing.”

“It’s perfect, Victor. It’s as though I’m wearing your love for me!”

The click of the door closing jolts me from my reminiscence. The pain of memories lost, of those I shall never make with you again is far too great. I need to leave this room before my façade shatters completely as my heart has done.

As darkness falls around the castle, I am prompted by William to dress in my best, his fingers gently guiding a comb through my otherwise unkempt hair.

Another quiet knock draws our attention and I see Ellis standing in the doorway, a bouquet of lovely white lilies in hand, and despair drawn across his face. I see his lips tremble as he approaches, unable to say anything as he hands the flowers to me. I notice the lone tear trickle from his eye as he scurries out of the room.

We all gather in the grand hall, a beautiful glass coffin sitting in the center of the room.

Seeing you lying there with such a serene and peaceful expression is all it takes for all semblance of resilience to crumble completely.

All strength is torn from me, my body collapsing onto the floor.

Howls of pain rip from my chest as the floodgates holding my emotions in burst open. I crawl to you, my precious little robin. My perfect angel. How was I meant to continue to walk this world without you?

As sobs wrack my body, I hear the gentle sounds of footsteps approaching, William and Roger on either side of me, assisting me to my feet to finish crossing the final paces to where you lay. My light, my happiness.

I let my trembling hands extend, tucking the lilies into your hands before grief once again steals away any strength. I can see your ring glistening on your finger as a pair of hands tucks yours firmly around the bouquet.

Never before has such pain befallen me. Never again shall I experience the heartbreak of a love taken far, far too soon.

They will pay for taking you from me. The Palace Reaper has no humanity left in his heart.

Taglist: @judejazza @natimiles @aquagirl1978 @themiscarnival @abundance-pathchooser @candied-boys @queengiuliettafirstlady

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[fanmoose12]

The Christmas lights flicker on and off too quickly, nearly erratically. The colors are too bright too, grating on Levi’s nerves and worsening his headache. 

He’d run to another room, just to escape them, but the problem is - they’re in every goddamned room. Levi hanged them all himself, with meticulousness and care, with hope that someone would appreciate his efforts. 

But the message on his phone says that all his efforts have gone to waste. 

Something came up, I don’t think I’ll manage to get home for Christmas. Sorry! 

Levi read that message and had half a mind to go and rip off all of these pretty Christmas lights, throw down the Christmas tree, get rid of all the Santa Clauses and elfs standing atop the fireplace. What’s the point of all of these decorations, what’s the point of Christmas itself if the one Levi wants to spend it with isn’t with him? 

But, perhaps, Hange did rub off on him, and in all the wrong ways possible, because he does not rip off the Christmas lights, does not throw away the Christmas tree or get rid of the elfs. He doesn’t even kick the damned stockings Hange was so adamant on hanging above the fireplace. 

A part of Levi - a childish, foolish, pathetic part of him, the very same one he’s sure had grown stronger since he’d met Hange, still hopes, expects them to waltz in through the door, with cheeks red from cold, covered in snow from head to toe and a smile brighter than all the Christmas lights in the whole world.

A part of Levi still waits for the Christmas miracle, even though he hadn’t believed in their existence even as a child. 

Levi checks his phone once again, sees the absence of new messages and sighs, standing up from the couch and turning away from the too bright lights. His Christmas miracle shows no signs of appearing any time soon, and Levi would have felt angry, he feels like he ought to feel angry, but– didn’t he know what he was getting himself into? When he said ‘I do’ at the altar, when all these years ago he agreed to go on a date with Hange, didn’t he know what they were like? Didn’t he know that something like that one day would inevitably happen? 

He knew full well how Hange was, what they were like. Passionate and dedicated, obsessed with their work to the point of skipping meals and sacrificing their sleep, Levi knew what his life with Hange would be like. He knew he’d always come second, he’d never be Hange’s number one priority. But as it turned out - simply knowing and actually experiencing what it feels like to be side-lined are two very different things. 

After all, he knew what he was getting himself into. So, the disappointment and the hollow, aching feeling in his chest is no one’s fault, but his. 

And, worse of all, he can’t even get mad at them. He feels slighted, yes, and neglected too, but he does not, cannot, be angry with Hange. 

Levi sighs again and puts the phone down. He may be miserable and lonely but that doesn’t mean he wants to ruin his friends’ party because of it. 

He twirls his phone in his hands, thinks about texting Erwin and asking if he can come and crush his and Mike’s party. Sitting all alone in his apartment that feels especially cold and quiet without Hange definitely won’t cheer him up, and, maybe, some alcohol and friendly chatter would help him relax and forget about his own misery, but– Levi knows himself too well. No amount of alcohol or merry conversations will actually help him. There is only one remedy to his sadness, and this remedy– is half a world away. 

Maybe, what can help him elevate at least a bit of this overwhelming melancholy is a cup of tea. Maybe, along with the cookies that he baked for Hange before he knew that Hange won’t be there to eat them. And a generous dose of whiskey that will put him to sleep earlier than usual. 

And, maybe, tomorrow will be a better day. Levi severely doubts that, but well– maybe, Christmas miracles truly do exist. 

And is coming from the living room. 

With that goal in mind, he starts moving towards the kitchen. He turns the light on, fills the kettle with water, but just as he means to put it on the stove– he hears a noise. A noise that quickly turns into a full-blown ruckus. 

Levi immediately darts there, eyes searching for something that can pose as a weapon. If that is some unlucky burglar who decided to sour his mood even further, well– Levi will sour their mood in return. 

He picks up a chair and approaches the fireplace, which seems to be the source of the commotion. A loud bang echoes through the room, rising up a cloud of dust in its wake, and Levi jumps closer, lifting the chair and ready to strike. 

Levi’s eyes widen and he blinks, blinks, blinks. What he sees… cannot be real, right? Who he sees… they cannot be here, right? 

Something fell down the chimney, something that upon closer look Levi identifies as someone. Someone in a red suit and hat, with a smile brighter than all the Christmas lights in the entire world. 

“Merry Christmas!” Hange cries out in a voice that’s somewhere in between their usual joyful one and low, deep one that’s probably meant to be an impression of Santa Claus. Which Hange is dressed as. Levi feels like in a middle of a fever dream. “And happy, happy birthday!” 

Levi blinks once more. This definitely cannot be real. 

Hange’s smile widens, as they leap to their feet and inch towards him. Their smile widens further, turning into a grin and then erupting into chuckles as they notice the chair that Levi belatedly realizes he’s still holding. 

“What’s that for?” they nod their head at it. “Were you going to hit me?” 

“I thought you were a burglar,” it comes out way gruffer than he intended, but then again, Hange did deserve it. He really did think they were a burglar. And he did think they weren’t coming home. And that wound still stings. “And you said you aren’t going back for Christmas.” 

“Oh, that?” Hange scratches the back of their head with what almost resembles shame. “I just wanted you to surprise you.” 

Putting the chair down, Levi crosses arms on his chest, narrowing his eyes at them. “So you lied to do that?” 

“Well, I didn’t really think about it that way but–”

“And you dressed up as Santa, and went up to the roof and down the fucking chimney, just to surprise me?” 

“Like I said, I’m–” 

“An idiot, I know that already,” Levi grunts out, masking very carefully the warm feeling that starts spreading through his chest. Hange did all that, just for him. Hange kept their word, came home, just for him. Hange is here, with him, and he couldn’t have asked for more. But, despite all that, they’re an idiot, so Levi decides to scold them just a little more. “What if you fell down and broke your damn neck?” he comes closer to them, wiping away a line of grime on their cheek with gentleness he cannot hide anymore. “Spending Christmas in a hospital would have been truly unforgettable.” 

“Hey!” Hange protests, even as they lean into his touch. “I didn’t fall down, did I?” 

“Fool’s luck, I guess.”     

Hange makes a face at that and opens their mouth, probably meaning to start spouting some nonsense Levi doesn’t really want to hear right now. 

So, he leans closer and cuts them off by whispering “Shut up,” right into their lips. 

Hange gets the hint, thankfully. They grin and wrap a hand around his hip. “Someone’s eager for their birthday kiss, eh?” 

Levi decides not to dignify that with an answer. Why confirm the obvious, if instead of that, he can do something that much more pleasant, like claiming the kiss that he’s very eager for, yes, and that he rightfully deserves? 

He does just that - puts his hand on Hange’s cheek and pulls them into a kiss. It’s soft and gentle, it’s so full of love that Levi feels weak in knees. It makes his fingers tingle and fills him with so many feelings that he can’t even decipher them. 

He could spend a night like that - just kissing Hange, hell, he could spend a whole life like that and die a happy man, but Hange’s covered in grime and dust and, honestly, they stink a little too. 

He pulls back from them, a small smile appearing on his face at the displeased whine that escapes Hange’s lips. 

“Go take a bath,” he says, caressing their cheek briefly before taking a step back. 

“And then?” 

“And then I’ll make us tea and you’ll eat the cookies I made for you.”

“Oh, and then?” 

“And then,” Levi throws over his shoulder, as he starts walking towards the kitchen, “We’ll go to the bedroom, where I’ll get a second gift.” 

“What was the first?” 

Levi turns to look at Hange, showing them a smile he reserves just for them. “It was you, coming home for Christmas.” 

The brilliant smile they give him in return, Levi thinks, is precious enough to him to be considered a third gift.