#i got my restricted license bc of this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bra1nw0rmz · 5 months

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*pokes you in the eyes in a very nice and kind way.* Person that made you plushie god here. (Can I have my children back? You stole dem, gimmy em back ples.) Ur pav biker au thingy I am hyperfictioning on it too much, ty for making me get the sillies from dat. Biker pav awsom. ANND BIKER LEVI ALSO IS COOL, I couldn't leave out my soggy dog core buddy.

Owwwe …… my eye

ALSO HI UM…… using this as an excuse to infodump about my biker au…………. I’m a slight nerd abt motorbikes and It’s pavlevi centred so it’s mostly about them

Levi

- Ok realistically he’d have an A1 licence due to being 18 in Europe which restricts the bikes you can ride which is LAMEEEE!!

- In Czech you have to be 24 to get an A licence, meaning you can ride whatever. But idk that feels like too much of an age jump when everyone else is the same age

- Most other places make it so you have to be 21, so I’ll just use that instead. Levi can be 21 in this au

- I mean honestly I could just get rid of the motorcycle licence tier thing all together

- It’s a modern au but cmonnnn Funger universe does not give a fuck about its youth… but eh it’s whatever

- Prefers bikes around 600-800 cc. Fast !! But not exactly death wish fast…….. I mean kinda but still

- He just likes being able to accelerate fast, he doesn’t speed too much

- The top speed he’ll go is 150-170 km/h but Pav coaxes him in races to go faster

- The type of biker that prefers to go on long drives for hourssssss

- He just likes to go on rides to clear his head :3

- Id say he’d have a Yamaha XJ900 Diversion. But I did think of a Yamaha XJ6 Diversion F too

- either way, a Yamaha fan

- I’m going with the XJ900 tho… but hey, maybe it was his first bike, got an older model for cheap and then after a while of dating Pav he got a XJ6 after persistent bugging to get a faster bike

- XJ6 is still comfy for long rides but lighter and faster… more sporty than touring (They are both sport touring bikes)

- I mean XJ6 is only like 10 km/h faster so still staying with the XJ900

- Coz the XJ900 is FAST, 900cc, a very all around good bike. XJ6 is 600cc but faster due to being lighter and more built for speed.

- And realistically he’d only have the XJ900 bc bro cannot afford 2 bikes!

- He is not made out of money and he is not selling his XJ900 !!!! it’s sentimental !!!!

- got sent to military school as a kid by his bitch ass father, so he’s a little fucked up still

- Lived in a community housing place for a while after military school as he found out his mother died and refused to move back in with his dad

- Lives in a small apartment building now

- It’s really small and Pav keeps coming over for long periods so he’s thinking of moving into a bigger place for the both of them

- Has definitely dabbled into drugs(heroin mainly) before but trying to get clean… the long rides help clear his head

- Works at a gun/hunting shop owned by August

Pav

- All his bikes are 1000cc or more bc he’s actually crazy

- Ofc only owns sport bikes, gives them all names too

- While he does go through a lot of bikes, because he crashes all the time and somehow never gets severely hurt, his go-tos are Honda or Kawasaki bikes

- His favourite and longest owned bike is the Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R… because she was the fastest Pav owned and he has a death wish

- He named her виктория (viktoria)

- She got into a crash so she’s been sitting in Abella’s shop while Pav saves up to fix her

- Takes his side mirrors off to lane split better

- Was a squid before Levi came around (squids are people who don’t wear protective gear) but still only wears heavy protective wear on night rides when he goes super fast

- During these night rides he so takes his license plate off lmaoooo

- Averages 200-300 km/h on the rides 💀

- Does a lotta bike tricks for fun too

- Served in the military for almost a decade and a half before having to retire for an unknown reason but still getting paid (ooooo mysterious)

- Does odd jobs here and there for extra cash

- But um don’t ask where he gets all the money for his bikes !!!!! He’s super cheap in every other aspect of his life

- He’s milking randoms for their money for alcohol, food, fuel, etc lollll

- Pav has gotten kicked out of apartments a few times in which he would sleep on Daan’s couch at his bar

- the type to stare down cops and purposely speed in front of them so they chase him, always leaves them in the dust bc he drives like a maniac

- Got caught once because he didn’t realise a cop was following him and he stopped for gas

- Got out of the speeding charge by giving the cop a blowjob bc I think that’s hilarious

- Anything to get outta spending money ig 🔥🔥🔥

- All his bikes struggle to not go over the speed limit so he has to backpack Levi when cruising around town

- Pav complains abt Levi being slow and Levi tells him to shut up lol

- purposely makes his exhausts louder than necessary because he’s definitely compensating for something

Daan

- owns a bar that motorcycle gangs frequent a ton

- It’s not even branded as a biker bar, nor is he a biker, it just naturally became one bc Daan doesn’t give a fuck about appearances and treats everyone the same

- Pav flirts with him constantly purely to try and get free drinks. Daan knows this and ignores him

- Marcoh works as the bouncer there (also a biker)

Abella

- local mechanic !!!! Pav’s go to when he can’t fix his bikes himself

- Pav will drop a completely totalled bike in her workshop and tell her to fix it and Abella will tell him to get the fuck out of her shop

- She also rides a motorcycle, I’m thinking a dirt bike of some kind?

- Definitely owns atleast a few different motorbikes though

- She’s an off road girlie at heart

Karin

- Pav smashed her side window clean off in a drive by after she didn’t let him pass her the road so she’s been trying to track him down for a while now

- just wanted to say her road rage is fucking terrible, you are scared for yours and other people’s lives if she’s behind the wheel

- still a journalist, still has anger issues

O’saa

- Owns an occult shop and rips people off with stupid card readings

- magic and stuff still exists btw, albeit heavily faded, he just overprices everything

- Marina works at the shop

- O’saa hardly even runs the shop tbh, it’s mainly Marina doing it

- He’s off doing fuck knows what

Other thoughts;

Pav has a really good poker face. And Levi is autistic so he just believes everything he says, not a single shred of doubt… and Pav is like… in awe……. He knows he’s good at lying but he’s just… Confused at how fast Levi believes him.

“Can I have a 20, I ran out of money and I need gas, I’ll pay you back.”

“ok”

“…….. this is the 6th time I’ve said that.”

“You said you’ll pay me back”

Pav feels guilty for the first time in his life so he actually does pay Levi back

Pav going on and on abt how much he hates cops (he got a speeding fine) and Daan is getting sick of it so he pulls out a photo of Pav in the military. Pav turns his head and refuses to look at it. He is like totally silent and Daan keeps on trying to get him to look at it and he just turns away more and more… Don’t ask how Daan has that photo

This is how Levi finds out Pav was in the military because Pav never says anything ever abt his life

ANYWAY THERES MORE BUT I FEEL LIKE I LOOK CRAZY RANTING ABT THIS AU SO ILL STOP

#ask #biker au #never give me an opportunity to yap istfg

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freakin-edikan · 1 year

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Help Dusty Get out of Florida Fund

Hello. I'm Dusty. I moved back home with my parents after school because I couldn't afford to stay in NYC and they refused to help pay for me to stay up there while I was looking for work. My parents stress me out, it sucks and I hate it here. I'm trying to move back to NYC where 1) most of my friends are and 2) I can visit my brother more easily if I need help with something. I take commissions if you want me to draw something (please ignore the music commissions, I don't think I can do those right now) and I think my prices are pretty low. Links below, sob story under the cut

vnmo: @freakin-edikan cshapp: $freakinedikan Paypal me Commission post

My goal is $3300. 0/3300

My parents piss me the hell off and I want to leave. They say they're not stopping me from doing anything but there are so many "soft" restrictions it's basically total control. I can't leave the house because the county's transit sucks shit, I don't have a house key, and I don't have a license (and even if I did, I wouldn't have a car). I have no mental health provider so I've been rationing out my ADHD meds. But even if I did, I'd have no way to get there because I don't have a car. My dad was supposed to get me a bike with a lock but he didn't. He wants to teach me to drive but he's 1) never home bc he works (obviously? how would that work) and 2) when he tried to teach me in 2019 he wasn't helpful at all and was always yelling or almost yelling at me. But he also doesn't want me to get lessons from an outside agency. I keep getting pushed to take some retail or food service job which I know will burn me out so much I'll barely be able to focus on anything else. And I wouldn't be able to get there because I have no transportation. And because I don't clean the whole house or cook every meal I'm seen as "neglecting aspects of life." Meanwhile dad will eat up all the food and not buy groceries or he'll ask me to buy groceries. Even though I don't have an income or a car or a license. Also my dad got mad at me and did this to my door on Friday

and has the audacity to eat the food I bought for me and my friends with my own money. For my birthday. He's been eating my birthday food. Also the door no longer closes.

I am tired of having to play nice around my dad's volatile anger, which I've put up with since I was in elementary school. My parents paid for me to do a lot of things, which I appreciate. However, they also have repeatedly called me names, they interact with my hobbies with thinly-veiled contempt, they play passive aggressive when they're mad at me in front of guests, and they used to hit me all throughout K-12. They constantly frame their obligations to me as purely financial, they think they have no responsibility to be emotionally supportive or uplifting, but they also want me to baby their feelings and lie about how they treated me while accusing me of making up my mental issues for attention and sympathy. My dad keeps talking about how old and frail he is and how he could die any minute now and where I'm at is that I do not care and if/when he dies I will not be there. I'm literally sick of this behavior and they acted like this in 2019 when they were supposed to be taking care of me after I was hospitalized for attempting suicide. I'm still not over that and yet they're annoyed at me for being disorganized/scatterbrained, stressed out, and depressed.

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barbiegirldream · 6 months

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wait i'm curious how teaching works in the us bc in my country you need to specifically go to uni to become an elementary school teacher if you want to work in one. are there any requirements or restrictions where you live or can you work as a full time regular elementary school teacher with your degree? (congrats on the job btw, you give of the vibe of an A+ elementary school teacher)

In America you have to have a bachelor degree and you can do education or early childhood development or something but you dont have to major in that. Then you pass what's called a Praxis exam for whichever particular subject you want to teach. Elementary school for example you have to do English, Science, Math, Social Studies. And then you do like a teaching program to get a certificate. Which you can do during your undergrad. But I decides I would teach like 6 months ago so I'm going through a program that sort of skips a lot of steps if you get into it. And after 2 years of teaching with this program I'll have my full license and will be able to teach practically anywhere in the country. Barring a few exceptions. But i'll probably go back to grad school after this. America has a teacher shortage crisis so they'll take anyone who got a college degree and isnt a pervert

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mewhenineedinspo · 8 months

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my weight loss journey so far

i started off super healthy by just cutting out unnecessary stuff i was basically binging 24/7 and i started replacing stuff with things that seemed healthier and taking my dog on walks in the morning i was around 185+

in august i got my license finally and that’s when i started to obsess: i started going to the gym and i was around 150

by october i started counting my calories because i wanted to be sure i wasn’t over eating bc i was stuck at around 135 eating around 1,400 cals a day

november is when i really started restricting bc i was almost at my past gw which was 120 and i was 129 i was eating around 1,000 calories a day

now (january)- i’m trying to maintain eating under 500 cals a day and it’s just not manageable for me bc before i was doing just fine not craving disgustingly unhealthy food but i’ve been binging real bad with a little purging aside from the fact i can never get anything up🙄 but my cw: 118 and it’s the lowest i’ve ever been but i want to be lower because i still have obvious areas of fat and look “healthy”

#need advice #need to be thinner #need to lose more weight #weight loss #edcommunity #ed not ed sheeran #tw restrictive ed

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throwupgirl · 2 months

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yeah this post really does resonate w me as someone whose parents were always trying to restrict my internet use bc they wanted me to "have a fun and memorable high school experience like we did" and "live in the real world" but also never let me leave the house, expected me to always have a job (i was working 30 hours a week throughout my senior year), take all the honors and ap classes i possibly could...i never had any fucking free time i literally would get out of school an hour early to work from 2-10 pm, do homework til 4 am, fall asleep and wake up at 5:45 am and go to school. and i even had the privilege of having a car after i got my license, but i couldnt even take advantage of that bc if i was 10 minutes late home because i decided to stop for fast food or wanted to hang out at the mall i was deliberately tearing my family apart/slacking off, whatever. but i was wasting my youth online, suuuure

#mosts #and dont even get me started on how every kid in memphis is harrassed by mall cops for existing. even librarians sometimes

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jupiterjunebug · 1 year

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Sometimes i think abt the absolutely bananas fact that a black powder weapon is not considered a firearm for any regulatory purposes and you can have one w no background checks or licenses even in particularly strict states.

Im part of a theatrical troop that fires cannons and flintlocks off and also has a piratical history display and there are some states where you can get in legal trouble for some items on our table bc theyre considered weapons but! Not the deck cannons, swivel guns, or the fucking rifle one of my buddies is getting into working order right now. I know guys who are legally restricted from owning firearms bc of past felony convictions but if its a match, flint, or wheel lock mechanism then if a cop pulls them over for speeding and finds it he just goes "wow neat gun you got there. Have a great day"

#granted the likelihood of someone managing to commit any sort of noteworthy crime using flintlocks is p damn low #given that they will fail to go off for reasons such as the wind being too strong or it rained yesterday #or you did fire and the ball immediately veered to the left and.didnt hurt anyone at all #and it takes 20 seconds to reload if youre good at it #and black powder that wont destroy your gun is both expensive and also distributed by like. 3 companies #so if you DID commit a black.powder related murder then they could get a list of ppl who bought powder nearby p easy #which means if you want someone dead rly most other weapons r more.efficient #but its still wild to me that like. there is no rules #no rules at all #someone called the police bc they heard us shooting.our guns off and got worried #and the officer just asked if he could fire the cannon then left

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lawful-evil-novelist · 2 years

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This is probably a known thing but if you're recovering from an ED, you should not see a nutritionist. It will make things worse.

About a year ago, I tried seeing a nutritionist about my diet bc I felt like I needed to recover from the lingering issues I was having from going through high school with deipnophobia and borderline orthorexia.

I spent a month restricting my portions and food choices on her orders and was then scolded for eating crackers when I had a migraine and couldn't keep anything else down. She tried pushing me to cut red meat from my diet when I am prone to anemia, and also told me that I can't bake at all, despite it being stress relief for me.

To put it bluntly, I got very close to relapsing, and I haven't had a panic attack about eating in public since I was 20. I wouldn't classify experience as a teenager as severe, but my issues came close to coming back.

Nutritionists aren't licensed doctors, and if you're recovering from an ED, a lot of their advice will sound like stuff you have told yourself in the past about food. My sister also stopped going to the same nutritionist when her already adversarial relationship with food was encouraged. Nutritionists do not want you to have a healthy relationship with food, otherwise they wouldn't be encouraging food restrictions like the ones that influenced my high school issues with eating.

And I think anyone recovering from orthorexia or anorexia knows that kind of restriction is wildly unsafe. The nutritionist knew I was recovered and restrictions were unsafe; she pushed them anyway.

#cw ed mention #cw ed recovery #cw eating problems

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whydoyouwannaknowmyusername · 2 years

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jan, 30th

i feel so shitty today lol. i'm so bad at restricting (fastinh >>>), i had whole bread and freaking cheese for breakfast, but bc of it i got no lecturing. had salad for lunch and binged on so many fucking sweets. not why i'm feeling shitty tho. i have freaking insolation and am just coming out of my period. my shoulders are all burning, it'll be at least tomorrow for me to feel hydrated again and my muscles hurt too, can barely raise my arms without burning.

i went trekking to a waterfall yesterday and, the stress of the road and emotional rollerscoaster of pms aside, it was rlly nice. my fav part was photographing my aunts and editing the pics later. i'm so proud of my pictures. but i did not want to be photographed. my body looks so weird and wobbly and enourmous on a bikini, i couldn't possibily. they are straight sized but they don't need to be skinny to be pretty, or even to be pretty at all. we took selfies, and at the time i was absolutely sure of my decision. but now i feel a bit grievous of it bc the pics i took of them turned out so marvelous they posted immediately and i so wish i had one there on the waterfall too. granted my body was bleeding a freaking endometrium so i give myself a license for being bloated and wanting to crawl under a shell. i want some aspects of idealized adulthood so much (idealized by me ofc). working an intership and paying for my own waxing as regular as needed so i'll always feel better in a bikini - that helps a lot for me, everything from the neck down begone pls. and paying for a membership at a gym or a voleyball school (though that one's truly expensive) a lot of ed tumblr is just actively hating our bods, but i just do that so frequently against my will that i need to cultivate some balance. i don't need to hate who i am to change how i am rn. for some ppl it's a boost for results but i guess i'm just a sweestpo girlie - i'm slow in that & it's a love and hate. but today for example, i wanna eat some fruits, rest up and really take care. not half-a-banana-for-the-whole-day, which is what i feel i should do. i can't stop the voices and the tormenting around food every single hour of every day in my life. i can't stop the eat-helthy!-you're-so-fucking-disgusting!-eat-to-feel-better!-are-you-dumb?!. i can't stop my triggers, i can't undo my purges and binges, i can't make my mind neutral to food and to my body and helpful to a healthy-ish weightloss. but i have these impulses to take care. true care, not stuffing my face bc i'm dumb and wired to use food as comfort. true care, like eating a lot of fruit - and the sugar in them - after a day of insolation. and i think i should listen to them every once in a while.

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revengeofthelobotomyladies · 2 months

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In England there's a theory test app, half the test is multiple choice on road safety/rules/signs etc and half on hazard perception

It's pretty easy to get a theory tests and you have up to 2 years after passing to get your license before you have to take it so most get it done straight away

The DVLA reckon it takes an average of 45 hours of practice with an instructor (at anywhere between £30-40 an hour) and 22 hours of private practice in your own car to pass with an average 48% pass rate (so technically you can be taught by a random but it's not reccomended lol)

It's near impossible to get a test for at least 7 months in the future (bc of covid and bots) so if you manage to get an official one it'll cost £62, otherwise you need to get a cancellation which can cost upwards of £120

Then your actual test is like 40+ minutes, 20 of independent driving (either using sat nav or road signs, they say on the day) and 20 minutes of instructed driving which involves pulling up on the left & setting off safely at least 6 times and then one of the 4 main manoeuvers (reverse into a bay/drive into a bay/parallel park or pull up on the right & reverse for 2 car lengths) but they can also ask you to do an emergency stop or a hill start on top of that

also 2 "show me, tell me" questions about general car things like how to check the tyre pressure, clean the front windscreen etc

Plus they have hundreds to test routes and it's randomised so you could end up with really good conditions and a great route or shitty conditions and a shitty route which balls you up

You're allowed 0 serious faults and up to 15 minor faults but you fail if you get more than 3 of the same fault, you can fail for all sorts like not driving in a bus lane when it's open etc (a lot is ridiculous stuff that normal drivers do)

Then insurance premiums are sky high when you pass and a lot won't insure you or want millions depending on the type of car

Plus you're very restricted in some senses lile you need separate tests for basically every type of vehicle now and if you learn automatic you have to do the test again if you wanna drive manual etc

so it's definitely not encouraging 😂

So I agree with the anon that says it's about time and money, thats definitely a major problem but they definitely do discourage you by making it so difficult to learn and pass, at least here they do idk about the rest of europe

(It's really interesting to see those videos where seasoned drivers try a modern driving test because they nearly always fail lol)

I would 100% fail there lmao

Here you can get your learners permit by studying on your own or in class. I got mine in high school at age 15 but I think you can attempt the test as early as age 14. You have to get 80% on the learners written test to obtain a learners license. Then you do the 6 (or more I don’t remember, I got my learners 15 years ago🫣) drives with the driver trainer. They give you a little card saying you’ve completed training and you present that when you go for the final road test. If you’re in high school you have to wait until you’re 16 to try, I can’t remember if there’s a wait time if you’re an adult. You’re supposed to be going on practice drives with a licensed driver in this time.

I had a horrible driver trainer who would scream at me and she really scared me out of driving and also no one had the time or energy to practice with me. So, I sat on my learners for 10 years before I went for my road test. It was kind of embarrassing because my training card was dated from like 2010 or something but it was still good I guess. You can practice as long as you need to. I pretty much just taught myself to drive. 😬

It only costs $55 dollars to go for the road test and there is a cancellation fee. If you fail you have to wait a little while before you can try again. It used to be even cheaper a few years ago at $22. Absolutely crazy.

Once you pass there are restrictions for about two years. If you have no incidents in the two years you’re good to go.

I think I’m a good driver compared to a lot of people here. Like it’s really bad here. But the province is like YOLO I guess… 😅😳

#ask #anon #this ams mine

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frozenrose13 · 2 years

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parental said words yesterday about flying us out there at some point over the winter and we really *really* appreciate the thought but...even if we had a passport still, even if the trailer was accessible, there so much logistics about flying they just. dont realize, and that we’re not up for explaining, esp with how like. sad words they get about our reality.

we cannot fly, even within the country. between our powerchair and the restricted medications and our access needs etc etc its...just, not possible; not even with help, and like hell im subjecting them to dealing with all the airport garbage for that : /

usually we’d find it amusing and move on, but it comes shortly after a discussion about how we can’t go to events bc all but one of them are in the states. which comes itself after a conversation where we talked about wanting to be more involved w kingdom but travel is a requirement and we *can’t*.

there was a brief exchange about if i should keep my license and like...we havent been able to drive for a *while* before the car went garbage. even if we were to do roadtrip and switch out with someone periodically, its *not safe* anymore. it sucks and it makes travel just around the city infinitely more difficult but that is what the reality of our situation is and i refuse to put passengers in danger.

we cant even fucking bus still : / bc of course busing as a travel option got brought up...idk we’ll see how this week goes and maybe try busing to next appt or something...getting really frustrated at feeling trapped in the apartment : /

special mention to the other parental for *purposefully doing seizure triggers as a joke* i am biting

#like yes please put strobe effect on your phone light in a dimly lit room thats gonna do wonders for our functioning /s #never mind shining it directly into both our faces #like maybe this is us being an ass but we shouldnt have to remind the parentals of our conditions

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breadbrobin · 3 years

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did anyone else love driving until you had to start paying for everything yourself and suddenly you hate it bc you’re broke and scared?

#i’m broke #i’m also gay and can’t drive #i got my restricted license and suddenly realised jusy how expensive driving is and i haven’t driven in months #i popped two tires and it was like $400 #my coolant is leaking #i’m still paying off my oil leak fix #my car blew a gasket :(#gas is e x p e n s i v e #i’m b r o k e #considering just getting a new car bc it’d be cheaper #it’s an audi too so it’s hella expensive for parts #my friend calls it a rust bucket #she’s right #car #driving #car stuff #help

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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years

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Written In The Stars CXII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I know you guys hate it but I love making Mel and Harry fight, huge ‘I’m-yelling-bc-I-love-you’ energy -Danny

Words: 4,093

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Worst In Me’ -by Julia Michaels.

Chapter Ten: Growing.

Turns out Umbridge was inspecting Trelawney's class, and if Mel could've graded the experience, she would've used a massive 'D'.

The girl paired up with Neville because she would often find herself chatting over Trelawney's orders whenever she and Ron shared a table. She didn't want that this time, and so she tried her best to focus on what she was doing with Neville. She was fearing that being in a different table, she wasn't going to be able to stop Harry if he tried to do something silly, the class went by with no accidents besides the fact that Trelawney could not do a prediction for Umbridge, which clearly made her fall a few points down.

Mel walked to her D.A.D.A. class with Neville, they talked about his new discoveries in herbology, she desperately needed to speak about some common silly nothings to remain sane, so when they entered the classroom, she hesitated a moment before finally deciding to sit next to the boy. They were a few tables behind Harry, Ron and Hermione. Mel felt a bit guilty about not making any real efforts to stay close to Harry, but she was feeling in a better mood now that she was having a normal day with a normal classmate.

"Wands away," Umbridge instructed. "As we finished chapter one last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page nineteen today and commence chapter two, 'Common Defensive Theories and Their Derivation.' There will be no need to talk."

Hermione raised her hand a few seats ahead, Umbridge got up from her place and walked up to hers, her usual terrifying smile plastered on her face.

"What is it this time, Miss Granger?"

"I've already read chapter two."

"Well then, proceed to chapter three."

"I've read that too. I've read the whole book."

"Well," Umbridge giggled. "Then, you should be able to tell me what Slinkhard says about counterjinxes in chapter fifteen."

"He says that counterjinxes are improperly named. He says 'counterjinx' is just a name people give their jinxes when they want to make them sound more acceptable. But I disagree."

"You disagree?"

"Yes, I do. Mr Slinkhard doesn't like jinxes, does he? But I think they can be very useful when they're used defensively."

"Oh, you do, do you? Well, I'm afraid it is Mr Slinkhard's opinion, and not yours, that matters within this classroom, Miss Granger."

"But —"

"That is enough. Miss Granger, I am going to take five points from Gryffindor House."

"What for?" Harry asked angrily. Mel could see Hermione whisper something to him.

"For disrupting my class with pointless interruptions. I am here to teach you using a Ministry-approved method that does not include inviting students to give their opinions on matters about which they understand very little. Your previous teachers in this subject may have allowed you more license, but as none of them — with the possible exception of Professor Quirrell, who did at least appear to have restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects — would have passed a Ministry inspection —"

"Why aren't we allowed to give our opinion? The teachers always encourage us to ask questions and be curious!" Mel blurted out, emboldened by the memory of her jobless uncle. "Was it really their way of working, or just your racist rubbish?"

"And Quirrell was a great teacher all right," said Harry right after her, "there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head."

There was a thick silence afterwards, Umbridge smiled a both, a triumphant glint in her eyes.

"I think another week's detentions would do you some good, Mr Potter," said Umbridge sweetly. "Miss Dumbledore, you may only speak when spoken to, or when you're granted the word. Otherwise, I'd recommend you to remain quiet. Sixty points from Gryffindor."

Mel entered the Great Hall fuming, she walked up to her table and saw Angelina, Professor McGonagall and Harry all arguing about something.

"I'm already being punished by her, why do you have to take points as well?" Harry asked in outrage. "Mel already lost sixty!"

"Shut up!" She hissed.

"Because detentions do not appear to have any effect on you whatsoever!" Professor McGonagall looked at her in the same way. "Dumbledore told you to stay out of it, Miss Dumbledore, I see myself in the obligation to talk with the Headmaster about this! And as for you, Miss Johnson, you will confine your shouting matches to the Quidditch pitch in future or risk losing the team Captaincy!"

Angelina stormed out of the Hall, not without giving Harry one last nasty look.

"She's taken points off Gryffindor because I'm having my hand sliced open every night! How is that fair, how?"

"I know, mate, she's bang out of order," Ron put extra bacon on Harry's plate.

"You disloyal twat!" Mel aggressively put down a jar of murtlap essence in front of Harry. "Now Dumbledore will lecture me again because you decided to rat me out!"

"Well it's true, isn't it?" He pointed to the jar. "What's that rubbish?"

"That rubbish is for your hand," She retorted in an awful mood, "put it on your bloody hand and it should heal right away."

The girl left without waiting for a reply, wanting to hex everyone. The fact that she'd spent twenty minutes of her breakfast hour doing the stupid essence now felt like a really dumb thing to do. She wondered why was she still trying to be nice when Harry didn't care, he knew that she could feel his pain and still decided to get another detention. Maybe they were better on their own, trying to remain as a team was starting to break them further apart.

Mel clenched her fists and continued until her feet took her to the only safe haven they could remember. The library was empty, no one had urgent schoolwork to finish being the second week of the trimester. She sat down at the very end, rubbing her temples and pondering on whether she should cry a bit to release some tension or go back to the Hall and have breakfast with Ginny when she heard the soft sound of footsteps.

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" asked a voice in amusement.

Erick stepped closer with a teasing glint in his eyes.

"You stood me up last Saturday. What now, you get a boyfriend and suddenly decide you no longer need friends? That's a bit–"

Mel didn't let him finish, she stood up and hugged him as tightly as she could.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you."

Erick froze, his arms hovering above her awkwardly. "I... I missed you too?"

Mel stepped back, quickly cleaning her face.

"Merlin's sake, you don't have to say it if you don't want to..."

"Sorry– it's just... That's the first time someone says that to me..." The last part came out barely above a whisper, Erick avoided her eyes.

"Well, it's true. This summer was a nightmare..."

"I know what you mean... at least a little. My grandad's been... not great," Erick glanced at the table and then her. "Every time I catch a glimpse of you, you're always grumpy..."

"It's the O.W.L.S, you know?"

"Sure, not like I've seen you argue with Potter," Erick smirked. "Want advice? Kiss him whenever he acts up, that'll shut him."

"That's out of the question," She sat down again. "We're not dating."

"What?" He exclaimed.

"Shh!" Mel looked around and then glared at him. "Sit down."

"I don't understand," Erick's frown deepened. "You two were so sickeningly happy and–"

"It was a mistake."

"What?" He asked again, this time laughing a little. "I'm sorry, but since when is dating your crush a mistake?"

"We didn't date," She retorted. "We... it blew up in our faces– Sit down, will you?"

"But what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"Okay!" He huffed. "What do you want to talk about, then?"

"Why don't you tell me how's your Grandad?"

Erick's face did not tense at the mention, but it certainly grew worried.

"He's well enough... stayed with him the whole summer so I didn't write to Anne, in case you were wondering."

"Don't ask about Harry and I won't ask about Anne," Mel shrugged. "Seems fair."

Erick only looked more alarmed. "Seriously, what happened?"

"Erick," She said, "leave it."

"Are you at least going to tell me why'd you stood me up the other day?"

"I invited Hermione by mistake. I wanted to talk to you in private."

"Why?"

"Because Harry– well now I don't want to," She added when she saw the way he rolled his eyes. "I don't want to do anything. I don't even want to go to my next class..."

"Let me guess, because you'll have to see him and talk to him," He finally sat down, pondering for a moment. "All right, then get rid of him. Stop being his friend."

"I can't do that. Dumbledore's orders."

"He asked you to babysit?"

Mel nodded gloomily.

"Do you really have to be near him?"

"Well," She tilted her head. "I guess not... just when Umbridge's around."

"So just during her class?"

"Probably..."

"Okay, make sure he keeps his mouth shut for an hour or two and then you have the rest of the day free."

Mel thought about it for a second, then groaned in frustration.

"Knowing Harry, he'll find a way to run into her more times a day..."

"Potter's old enough to know better, don't you think?" Erick raised a brow. "Especially after what he went through..."

Annoyance flooded over her at the way Erick so casually mentioned Harry's close call. She clenched her jaw and shrugged. She didn't want to keep talking to him, being honest, she simply didn't want to talk to anyone at all.

"I'm tired," She muttered.

"I can't help with that, go take a nap," He sighed. "I'm sorry you didn't get the prefect badge, by the way..."

Mel laughed humorlessly.

"I don't care. Guess a part of me always knew Hermione would beat me."

"I really thought you'd be it," He replied. "Not that I don't think 'Mione's not smart or anything, it made sense, you and Harry..."

"Maybe Dumbledore thinks we have too much in our hands," She started to peel the corner of the table. "Or that we're out of control..."

"He certainly has reasons to believe it..."

"Did Parkinson and Malfoy report me?" She blurted out.

Erick frowned.

"What did you do now?"

Mel quickly told him about the incident, Erick found it extremely amusing.

"Had it coming, those idiots..." He admitted. "But you really shouldn't do that. Umbridge will take any opportunity to take you to her office and see if she can force you into confessing about the Order."

"Talking about that..." She moved so she was now facing him. "Are you part of it, then?"

"Not until I'm seventeen and out of school... I'm a very active intern for now."

"But do you want to be part of it?"

Erick didn't hesitate this time.

"I do. I won't be hiding behind my mother's skirt, once I'm out, I'll be out forever. My plan hasn't changed, I'll live with my Grandad and I'll help as much as I can."

"I'm proud of you, you know?" Mel smiled, her mood lifting with the passion he was letting out in every word.

"Shut up," He muttered.

"I mean it! You've come a long way. Remember my first year? You found me crying and told me to just give up on Hermione. Look at you now..."

"I'm still trying to convince you to give up on people," He moved on his chair awkwardly. "I told you this was my plan since the beginning, I'm just finally doing something about it."

"Yeah," Mel agreed, thinking that her own plan had been obliterated and now she was stuck in place. "I'm happy for you..."

"You know what? Take my advice. Keep Potter's mouth shut during class and we'll trust that he can find his way without you for the rest of the day. You need a break," Erick stood up, grabbing her bag and picking it up for her.

"Trust me," She sighed. "I know."

Mel stayed away from her friends for the rest of the day, and Harry found a way to get an extra day of detention during their Care of Magical creatures class -Umbridge had been there– but the girl persisted, she had lunch and dinner with Ginny and her friends, and she spent her free period with the twins and their friends.

When she entered the common room, she discovered that Harry wasn't there with Ron and Hermione, which explained why her right hand was starting to feel sore. She sat with a small smile playing on her lips, her day had improved after a whole afternoon without useless bickering.

"Is there any point on asking?" Hermione sighed.

"No," Mel said calmly, tunning out the pain on her hand.

Harry arrived close to midnight with his hand bleeding profusely, Mel made sure to write in a way that the darkness could hide her own bruised hand. Hermione handed him the murtlap jar Mel had left for him during breakfast.

"I still reckon you should complain about this," said Ron.

"No," said Harry.

"McGonagall would go nuts if she knew —"

"Yeah, she probably would. And how long d'you reckon it'd take Umbridge to pass another Decree saying anyone who complains about the High Inquisitor gets sacked immediately?"

"She's an awful woman. Awful. You know, I was just saying to Ron when you came in... we've got to do something about her."

"I suggested poison."

"No... I mean, something about what a dreadful teacher she is, and how we're not going to learn any defence from her at all," said Hermione.

"Well, what can we do about that? 'S too late, isn't it? She got the job, she's here to stay, Fudge'll make sure of that."

"Well... You know, I was thinking today... I was thinking that — maybe the time's come when we should just — just do it ourselves."

"Do what ourselves?" said Harry.

Mel's hand stopped writing but she didn't look up.

"Well — learn Defense Against the Dark Arts ourselves," said Hermione.

"Come off it! You want us to do extra work? D'you realize Harry and I are behind on homework again and it's only the second week? And Mel's all right but I'm sure not even her can get past the stress!"

"But this is much more important than homework!"

"I didn't think there was anything in the universe more important than homework," Ron teased.

"Don't be silly, of course there is! It's about preparing ourselves, like Harry said in Umbridge's first lesson, for what's waiting out there. It's about making sure we really can defend ourselves. If we don't learn anything for a whole year —"

"We can't do much by ourselves, I mean, all right, we can go and look jinxes up in the library and try and practice them, I suppose —"

"If you're planning on reading just like you read in Umbridge class, then it won't change much," Mel said.

"No, I agree, we've gone past the stage where we can just learn things out of books. We need a teacher, a proper one, who can show us how to use the spells and correct us if we're going wrong."

"If you're talking about Lupin..."

"No, no, I'm not talking about Lupin," said Hermione. "He's to busy with the Order and anyway, the most we could see him is during Hogsmeade weekends and that's not nearly often enough."

"Who, then?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm talking about you and Mel, Harry."

"About me what?"

"What?" Mel laughed.

"I'm talking about you teaching us Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"That's an idea," Ron said calmly. "Mel could teach us, with her extra lessons and everything..."

"But... But I'm not a teacher, I can't —"

"You and Mel are the best in the year at Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Hermione.

"Me?" said Harry, this time grinning. "No, I'm not, you and Mel have beaten me in every test —"

"Actually, I haven't. You beat me in our third year — the only year we both sat the test and had a teacher who actually knew the subject. But I'm not talking about test results, Harry. Look what you've done! Look at what Mel can do!"

"How d'you mean?"

"You know what, I'm not sure I want someone this stupid teaching me," Ron said to Hermione with a smirk, then pretended to concentrate fully. "Let's think, uh... first year — you saved the Stone from You-Know-Who–"

"But that was luck, that wasn't skill —"

"Yeah, and Quirrell smashed my skull afterwards!"

"Second year," Ron insisted, "you killed the basilisk and destroyed Riddle, Harry."

"Yeah, but if Fawkes hadn't turned up I —"

"Third year," Ron raised his voice, "Mel starts her private lessons with Dumbledore and she learns to do non-verbal spells as if they were as simple as a nap. Then you two fought off about a hundred dementors at once —"

"You know that was a fluke, if the Time-Turner hadn't —"

"Last year," Ron was practically yelling now. "Mel learned to fight off the Imperio curse in her first try and saw right through Moody before anyone else. You fought off You-Know-Who again—"

"Listen to me!" Ron and Hermione were both smirking now. "Just listen to me, all right? It sounds great when you say it like that, but all that stuff was luck — I didn't know what I was doing half the time, I didn't plan any of it, I just did whatever I could think of, and I nearly always had help —"

"I had tons of help!" Mel exclaimed, finally finding her voice. "I read until I couldn't keep my eyes open– most of the things I know are all theory and no practice– don't smile at us like that! You know we're as close to being teachers as a bowtruckle!"

"Don't sit there like you know better than we do," Harry said heatedly. "I was there, wasn't I? I know what went on, all right? And I didn't get through any of that because I was brilliant at Defense Against the Dark Arts, I got through it all because — because help came at the right time, or because I guessed right— or Mel lost control and it just happened to work out in our favour, but we just blundered through it all, I didn't have a clue what I was doing and Mel— STOP LAUGHING!"

Harry stood up menacingly, the jar falling off his hand and breaking into a bunch of sharp pieces. Hermione and Ron quickly lost their smiles.

"You don't know what it's like! You— neither of you— you've never had to face him, have you? You think it's just memorizing a bunch of spells and throwing them at him, like you're in class or something? The whole time you know there's nothing between you and dying except your own — your own brain or guts or whatever — like you can think straight when you know you're about a second from being murdered, or tortured, or watching your friends die — they've never taught us that in their classes, what it's like to deal with things like that, having to suck the life out of a someone in order to survive!" Mel's breath hitched, none of them had told the others what had happened last June. "And you two sit there acting like we're two clever little kids standing here, alive, like Diggory was stupid, like he messed up — you just don't get it, that could just as easily have been me if it weren't for Mel– it would have been if Voldemort hadn't needed me and I hadn't used Mel's—"

"Shut up!" She yelled, pulling him back because he'd gotten too close to their friends.

"We weren't saying anything like that," Ron said fearfully. "We weren't having a go at Diggory, we didn't — you've got the wrong end of the —" He stammered the rest under his breath, unable to end his sentence out of shock.

"You didn't sound understanding," Mel stated, dropping Harry's arm when he snatched it away. "It's never over, not like we lived through it and then just continued with our day... there's... we would always have..."

"Nightmares," Harry ended weakly.

"Guys," Hermione said quietly, "don't you see? This... this is exactly why we need you... We need to know what it's r-really like... facing him... facing V-Voldemort."

Mel would've been proud of Hermione, but she was still too agitated. However, Harry did react, he sat down again, though still breathing as he'd run for hours. A cramp ran down her hand in full force and she hissed. Harry frowned, noticing right away.

"I'm an idiot."

"I'm not going to argue you that," Mel scowled, holding her hand tightly. "I thought you'd be smarter, knowing what it does to me..."

"I don't mind being punished for telling the truth... but I don't want to drag you with me– I never wanted that," Harry sentenced.

Ron and Hermione stared at the both of them without really understanding what they meant.

"Well... think about it," said Hermione, glancing between the two. "Please?"

Harry nodded quietly, Mel hid her hand in her pocket and shrugged.

"Well, I'm off to bed," Their friend continued, still shaking. "Erm... 'night."

Ron got up too, he turned to look at Harry. "Coming?"

"Yeah," He said, looking down at the shattered glass. "In... in a minute. I'll just clear this up."

"I'll help..." Mel murmured.

When it was just the two of them, Mel crossed her arms and stared pointedly at him.

"Well?" She raised a brow. "I'm tired of being the one cleaning up your messes."

"I never asked–" He looked up at her and sighed, tired of fighting. "Doesn't matter... Reparo!"

The essence was gone, and she groaned thinking of how it was up to her to get more. She also knew that Harry needed to tend his hand now if she wanted to have a good sleep, so before he could leave she added:

"Sit," Mel grabbed her wand. "I'm going to mend you."

"I don't need–"

"I'm doing this for me," She showed him the purple bruise of thin letters that were forming on her skin. "You're still trying to cut out the lifeline? It's not working."

"Like you're doing any better," He hissed when she 'accidentally' pressed his wound.

"I'm not the problematic one, am I?"

Harry remained silent.

"That's what I thought," She healed the open cuts gradually. "Unlike you, I know how to stay out of trouble and I don't get as injured..."

"Well, it's not you the one people's been attacking–"

"It's not you either," She replied sharply. "People talk about you, but you're the one picking fights. The only person being attacked here is Dumbledore and I don't see him yelling at the rest of the staff."

"I don't see him talking to anyone but you, so that must be why," He said hastily.

"That's not my fault," Mel let go of his hand, it wasn't bleeding or inflamed, which was impressive considering it was her first time healing someone.

There was something bitter about the fact that holding his hand wasn't bringing her any kind of sweet emotion like it used to. She would still feel waves of affection, but those were dying quicker as time went by, something inside her was successfully pushing him out of her system, and she was starting to get used to it.

"If you're so desperate to talk to him then why don't you visit his office?"

Harry gave her a sour look, and she let out a dry laugh.

"You do want him to ask, don't you? See if he cares?"

"I think I'll go to bed now," He stood up.

"Suit yourself," Mel shrugged. "You're welcome, by the way."

"I thought you had done it for yourself," He replied sarcastically.

"I still made you a favour by doing so," She said. "You know, if you'd show a bit of gratitude instead of ignoring everyone that offers you help, people would–"

"THANK YOU!" He said rudely, his back turned to her as he left the common room.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @sarcasticallywitty15

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic

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asterekmess · 4 years

Note

Could you elaborate more on the "Stiles being seventeen instead of sixteen when the show starts"? Cause while I read a lot about Lydia's age being fudged, I never read anything about Stiles age but at the same time that headcanon makes so much sense?

Dude, this headcanon is just so fucking factual to me, I honestly refuse to believe otherwise. I’m giddy that you asked about it.

See, when I first started working on my rewrite of the series, this was like the Number One Change I made. To me, it fixed a lot of things.

If I’m honest, the main reason was bc Stiles has ADHD and I thought that him getting held back when he was younger (we’re talking like 2nd grade or something) would make sense since his ADHD is so damn severe. (There’s also the idea that he might’ve been held back after his mom’s death, but since he met Lydia in the third grade, I always figured it would be the second grade that he repeated, putting him in the same class as the others’ characters, way before his mom died.) Plus, it would explain why Scott immediately made the connection for Allison turning 17 in S1--He’s already got experience with someone who got held back for a non-’dumb’ reason.

Then there was the bit about CA driving laws, and how there’s all these restrictions and curfews on kids 17 and under, except that they’re allowed to start getting their licenses at 15 1/2, and that means that the 12 month waiting period for the curfew to drop off can end before/while someone is 17. This would explain why Stiles is able to drive around so fucking late at night without getting in trouble or even pulled over and sent home. Now, obviously we could blame it on the sheriff just being really lenient and Stiles not getting in trouble bc Sheriff’s Son and all, but I absolutely hate that? The sheriff would protect his son from getting arrested for murder, but there’s no reason for him not to enforce curfew laws.

Now, this still leaves the whole ‘driving with someone under the age of 20′ thing, but I didn’t know a single fucking teenager who ever followed that rule. (I didn’t follow that rule, but then I also had a personal issue with curfews and cops so maybe i’m not a good example.)

If we go even further, there’s the stuff with Eichen House. Now, obviously, Stiles’ dad is there with him for most of that, but he seems pretty insistent that he would check himself in. Since I put his birthday at Nov 8th, that would mean he was 18 around the time the nogitsune starts going ham, which would give him more leeway in the medical field.

And after that we see him go ALL THE WAY TO MEXICO with the others, and I just think him being 18 would really help sell that. *shrug*

So, long story short, Stiles is seventeen when the show starts and you won’t convince me otherwise. <3

Side note: I always thought it was super weird that they made such a big deal about the curfew in s1, when...California already has a statewide curfew from 11pm-6am for all minors? Rather than the whole “Don’t you know there’s a curfew?” I would’ve thought it would make more sense to emphasise that the Normal curfew was pulled up to start at 9pm instead of 11pm. But that’s just me.

#personal #go for it #meta ramblings #Anonymous

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leaveharmony · 4 years

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would love to know about some of kennys other offenses. please.

Boy howdy nonners, how long have ya got lol

Alright so I was never...A Fan, to begin with. I tolerated him even if I found him irritating in a lot of ways.

The real Problems I had w/ him started at the first press conference after he won the Heavyweight title; that night jericho won the Intercontinental and (fucking) elgin won the NEVER; kenny basically outright said that three (white) guys from Canada just "wanted it more" than the domestic roster. That he "never sees" the Japanese wrestlers at the gym, that they're "complacent" and that's why they were outshone. Everybody lost their minds. A good friend was trying to gently tell him "Bro you're better than this, you really should have chosen your words more carefully here because that could really, super be interpreted as racist" And he directly responded RE "Please don't look for any 'hidden' racist meaning..." and basically doubled down, and then stood back & watched all his followers bully the shit out of my friend for like a week solid, for the crime of daring to question his choice of words. She didn't even call HIM a racist, just suggested he could maybe be more mindful when talking directly to western fans bc there's always been a miles-long racist streak in wrestling in general and him talking that way when so many ppl accept what he says as gospel wasn't helping.

There was the bodyshaming...that wasn’t a one-time thing, either, but I digress.

There was the absolute debacle when Meltzer got involved w/ an article RE after kenny left he had "visa problems" ...you have to walk that back to the press conference between Tana and kenny before WK (iirc) wherein kenny claimed he'd gotten his citizenship and felt like he was now "real Japanese." Which was...kinda yikes in and of itself, but after all that shook out and he took his ball and went home it transpired that it was a flat-out lie, and he'd actually gotten like, a permanent residency. Now: that meant, so long as he had a company sponsoring him he enter and leave Japan as he pleased w/ that paperwork. Only he quit NJPW. So they were no longer sponsoring him, but he was still trying to enter the country w/ this visa/status he had absolutely no claim to anymore because he gave it up when he no longer had that position w/ their company. This turned into a whole ridiculous conspiracy theory RE NJPW was somehow pulling strings to "get him banned from the country for ten years." The ten years figure was...actually how long he'd have to wait before reapplying for the status he lost, as was explained to me by someone who actually had some experience in the area. How much of that nonsense actually came from kenny’s own mouth right to Meltzer's ears? Hard to say, and it MAY have been a miscommunication that got printed as fact, but all Himself would say was a dramatic "Someday I'll tell you all about how my year was SO MUCH WORSE than rumoured." All he had to do was say 'Guys no I just ran into some red tape, NJPW has nothing to do with it' but instead he had to fuel the gossip of a mysterious, malicious conspiracy against him and cast the mean, cruel company who...let him leave when he quit...as the relentless villain bullying him out of the country. This sounds like an exaggeration but he did, actually, have some stupid video based on Undertale (I think?) made in which there was a knockoff Lion’s Mark literally playing the villain. It was...extremely embarrassing tbh. And he may even believe it, who knows? He may actually believe he was pushed out because he was a ~foreigner~ they refused to take seriously; his ego is big enough that I’d not be surprised.

Sometimes istg he even gaslights himself; I remember when he said Shinsuke "hasn't done anything compelling" since leaving for wwe (as though Shinsuke books himself lol)...but then before aew formed, but after he left NJPW, he kept claiming that if he went to wwe he'd be able to put on a seven-minute clinic every show, with the scraps of screentime they throw him...that everybody would be talking about him and only him, that he’d ‘enjoy’ the creative restrictions...as though he didn’t like, walk out on their developmental years ago because of all those restrictions :/

Just last year he was still bitching that Shinsuke never dropped the Intercontinental directly TO him, instead vacating it for a tournament. Because Shinsuke was "one of their guys," because he always has to have a Special Connection to everyone...as though when this man was about to take a huge step and start a new life, what everybody should really have been thinking about was "Gosh but what about kenny though, shouldn't he have had the distinction of beating him directly for it?" And notably that’s all he’s said about Shinsuke since he left. Never brings him up when ppl ask who he’d like to see in aedubya, nothing like that...so I mean, so much for special connections or respect lol. Respect only goes one way for him.

There was certainly the time he booked a convicted sex offender! For one of his lil pet shows. And when ppl called him on it he immediately got defensive and took issue with their "tone" and how they were ~judging him~ without having full information, and if they wanted him to respond politely they should speak kindly and politely to him first (again you’d think I’m exaggerating but that is actually what he said, try being kind and polite). It took maybe a day of fighting people on twitter before he acted like a fucking adult about that one, even if his sullen "apology" still came off like it had an unspoken "...even though I didn't do anything wrong personally" tacked on the end.

There was his fucking...infuriating white saviour complex RE how with him Steering the Ship NJPW would be unstoppable. There was his ludicrous claim that "Tanahashi's never done anything for international fans"...conveniently omitting that if it weren't for Tana, there wouldn't have been a company left to hire his skank ass, let alone one for there to be international fans OF. There was his wink wink nudge nudge way of trying to play both sides; acting Respectful and like a Good Guy when he gave comments in Japanese and essentially going "SIKE!" in english so the neckbeards knew he didn’t really think he wasn’t the only thing worth watching. He made a point of saying during that feud that if they dared put Tana over him the company would be "going backwards," and then made a point of saying he "Can't work under Tanahashi" as he left - a last cheap parting shot to make sure everybody knew who to 'blame' for him tragically leaving.

He straight up said the whole native roster should "thank me for their paycheques" because of course kenneth omegaman is the only one anyone is paying to see, no one else could possibly be interesting enough to tune in for, only him.

I remember when he was hilariously claiming that LIJ would never catch on for the western audience and Naito would never be popular here lol.

He bitches, somehow, simultaneously about not having been made leader of the bullet club soon enough (having to step aside for aj), and that "before the first Okada match" he was making more money from prowrestlingtees than he was from his contract (as though making him leader of the most visible western faction and essentially giving him a license to print money in the process somehow wasn't enough).

Like two years after he left he is still! Taking every chance he can get! To shit on NJPW. He and the fucking bucks were still shit-talking Harold, ffs, years after they left.

....I feel like Marge when Reverand Lovejoy was asking her to list grievances about Homer. He probably does blow his nose on towels and put them back in the cupboard, too, but only in other people’s houses :P

Anyway that’s off the top of my head.

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