#i want my family to be part of these ppls lives too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zeevoidlight · 4 months

Text

what's the deal with these two...

Seriously. Why is the suspicion and joking of their bromance even a thing that exists (outside of just shipping for shipping's sake and ppl making every male friendship a secretly frustrated gay relationship). Is it even a thing?

Do I ship Goku and Vegeta?... yes.. yes I do, I confess myself as part of the problem. But I feel is fair that in a show like Dragon Ball where there's sexually mature references and themes at times I can give myself the freedom to wonder. So i'mmana talk about two pivotal moments that marked a before and after for both of them together as a team: their Majin saga match and the fusion.

//////

As far as the show goes, there's not really much to go off of. They clearly both have their wives whom they both love very much, children, they love to battle and test themselves, they are bros (now at least), rivals for life, they better each other by challenging one another to get better.

On the other hand my autism tells me that that's not the whole story. Because I normally don't like to take things at face value when i can see more.

Is interesting to see how both, Goku's compassion and respect for Vegeta, and Vegeta's (albeit unhealthy) obsession over Goku, the fact that they were also the last of their kind and the only ones that could compete with each other to fight between themselves and against others (discounting Gohan since he always slacked on his training and wasn't really interested on fighting), the only ones that could understand how the other felt as being pure blooded, that Goku had a living example in Vegeta of his true origins to learn more about himself (like a walking Saiyan enciclopedia), that Vegeta had in Goku a new purpose in life (until he realized what he had with his family as well), all of that with time combined to create a dynamic where they both felt comfortable with each other. They famously became companions, with time forming friendship/friendly rivalry and some could even see them now being akin to brothers. Something that as much as Krilin was Goku's life long friend and will be forever he could never really fulfill all that Vegeta came to develop with Goku. And in a way I don't think anyone can either.

But there's also an important note to make about this relationship/friendship. Vegeta is the one that gives it more meaning than Goku does (at first). I feel like Goku is simply being his loving caring happy free self, while Vegeta takes it personal and takes so much weight on what Goku says and does and how it affects him. As he later puts in words in Super (Granola arc i think), Goku is an egotist while he himself is an egocentric. And that difference is important to get to the point because from now on for a while the question is "Why does Vegeta".

Why does Vegeta put so much weight in their fight in the Majin Saga that he's willing to kill innocent people again just to have a match with Goku (going with the latin dub again since is more accurate to the original japanese one). And it isn't just about his ego, is about what he doesn't say as well.

Why is Vegeta the only character that is so against fusion, with Goku specifically because he has only fused with him and we don't know how would he react to fusing with someone else if it's needed.

Why is Vegeta so averse to touching Goku. At least after their fight and after him dying in the Majin Saga and once he is allowed to go back to Earth.

Why on the brink of the universe destruction was Vegeta acting like a cheated on girlfriend when he discovered that Goku had a new transformation and didn't told him about it (I would be mad at him too to be fair but i also understand why Goku wouldn't want to do so and he did it to not hurt Vegeta's feelings and have a good time under fair conditions. he gets half a point for the sentiment).

The Majin Saga

From all the examples people like to pull up when trying to argument sexual tension between these two there's only a few that I feel have some significance. And I can tell you when did it cooked enough to be a possibility. And that is right when Goku announced he was going to go back to Earth for one day and one day only, presumably forever. That's where something started, but it was brewing since Goku died to Cell and Vegeta lost Goku, his purpose, his obsession, his will to fight, and entered a depressive episode that lasted 2 years (aprox, since Bulma tells Chichi that Vegeta had been training for the last 5 years in the 7 year time skip).

Once he knew Goku was coming back he just had to do anything in his power to fight against him again, no matter what it took (he looks so excited too, that's cute). His entire meaning as the person he perceived he was and his meaning as a warrior and Goku's foil depended on it. He actually was in good terms with Goku up to here though. Agreeing to the tournament rules, being patient, enjoying meals together, bragging about his kid. But after realizing that they might not have their match because of Supreme Kio's pink menace, nothing else mattered, not Bulma, not Trunks, not the Earth or the universe or everything he had been building for so many years without Goku. Goku was the single catalyst for his relapse. Like... how is it possible that fighting with him and proving his worth is more important that it's been a rock in his boots for years now. But ok, he's a warrior so I can understand why, also because he was going through a Major (with capital M) identity crisis where he's trying to negate his newfound value in his family and new home while thinking that is what was making him weak, though he never really believed that since he knew Goku never needed to be cruel to surpass him, it was just a jolt reaction to not knowing how to handle it, and Goku could see through that very clearly by asking him if he really believed that bs about feeling good by being cruel and being a slave of his own mind.

But the thing is that during their fight it is clear that more than winning (which he would have enjoy to no end if they finished their fight and Goku didn't had a new plot convenient powerup hiding under his eyebrows again, though that wouldn't have helped him to grow), both were very much enjoying the act of fighting (since Goku said he wanted to end the fight soon so Buu doesn't get the energy but he didn't because he could have used Ssj3 and end it quite fast), Vegeta fighting against his previous rival now companion Kakarot. Sparing with him in perfect synchrony in an equal fight because what Vegeta actually wanted with the Majin Magic was to close the powergap and convince himself he had an excuse to not feel remorse because of the magic. And i say that because before Goku dying to Cell he really saw him as competition, but after he lost him i feel that alongside his remorse and embarrassment for the disaster that was that saga, in part because of his gigantic ego, he must have felt alone, now truly being the last pure blooded Saiyan alive and not in condition to call himself a warrior anymore under his own standards. And although he had Gohan, which he respected a lot because of his courage and his immense power, it was not the same since Gohan is a pacifist and didn't had the same passion for fighting like a pure blooded Saiyan so he wasn't even training. So by the time of the Majin Saga and once Goku came into the picture again I think he subconsciously regarded him differently and he ends up realizing it during their fight (although he doesn't vocalize it).

During their fight there's a specific moment. After Goku throws Vegeta to a cliff side and he makes a hole in it to liberate himself, Goku comes to him and they both get very close just floating in the air and powering up, looking at each other. Vegeta is beyond pissed, Goku taking the fight very seriously. Then Goku smiles to Vegeta challenging him and showing he's enjoying their fight, and Vegeta relaxes for a moment changing his attitude and showing a smile back to him in empathy, sharing to him that he is enjoying it too and wants to challenge him back as well.

This whole fight is Goku's way to show Vegeta how much he actually cares about him and his well being despite what Vegeta might have believed up until then, how much he respects him as a warrior and an equal too, even risking Earth and Majin Buu's return. He did the unthinkable and menaced Kaio Shin with death if he dared to stop their fight, which Vegeta sure noticed and even reacted with complete disbelief. As Supreme Kaiosama says to Gohan and the others in the wasteland: "we cannot do anything about it. Fight until you can calm your hearts".

I know a lot of people joke about Vegeta being a repressed homosexual because of his obsession with Goku, and i'm not saying he is, but this fight is charged with sexual tension, mostly on his part, among other things of course. And is interesting that Vegeta, ever since the Namek experience, is the most emotionally fragile of the bunch and an unstable character. He feels everything very intensely and reacts in the same way while trying to hide under a curtain of pride, ego and his title of Prince.

Goku knew what he was getting into by agreeing to fight with Vegeta. He wasn't going to just let them set the score, he was going to give Vegeta the most intense therapy session ever by letting him discharge all that literal energy and anger, guiding him through his thoughts, playing by Vegeta's rules. Help him overcome whatever he had been brewing in his mind since they day they met thinking on where was the moment everything went wrong for years, so he could move forward...

And then... this happens...

... I don't think anyone expected something like this to even be a thing that he could do as a power that we will only see one time ever in the entirety of the show and is in here, lol. And not long ago I watched a semi abridged semi analysis commentary video on the fight and yeah, we coincide that there was something else going on here at the same time. Vegeta got a little too excited... He got rock hard by too much adrenaline, lol. And I didn't mentioned it but being that Saiyans were a warrior culture there exists some real life relation of warrior societies (like greeks, romans, spartans, norse, some aztec societies) and homoerotic practices as part of that philosophy. Fighting is everything and everything revolves around fighting. And finding a brother in arms could develop into something else out of admiration, or from hyper-masculinity with the purpose of dominating the other and demonstrating power. And i'm not saying that that was part of Saiyan culture, just that there might be some similarities with what we're seeing.

There's a fine line between pain and pleasure, hate and love, fear and excitement, rivalry and attraction. And in moments of intensity where both opposite feelings collide can produce an equally intense and confusing response. We know for sure Saiyans by nature often confuse fear an excitement, and rivalry with attraction at least, as Goku confesses on his first fight with Vegeta when he spares him. And here Vegeta is going through a rollercoaster of emotions and given that he is the most emotionally charged character it can go all places.

So, Vegeta tells Goku if he pretends to defeat him quickly as he said, Goku responds that he's trying to do that, and Vegeta asks if he thinks he can do it *slap slap* (the disrespect). He's trying to provoke him but the way he does it is kinda similar to what you'd do in a sexual encounter since he's not really hurting him too badly (which is really funny). And I'm pretty sure he wasn't thinking about anything sexual, just pure anger towards our buddy Kakarot so that doesn't change the fact that he did just lost his marbles to blind rage and wasn't thinking at all, just feeling intensely and acting freely on it. "Listen... don't you think this is enough humiliation I got from your part *hit hit punch hit*. This attacks are not enough to set the score. How is it possible that a Prince of Saiyans, that possesses such a great pride, was humiliated by a warrior like you (In the English version there's a series of flashbacks with dialogue but that's not a thing in the japanese and latin version). What saddens me the most is that you saved my life, worm (i don't remember if he's referring to Cell because Gohan saved him there, or way back in the saiyan saga when they first met since for a warrior is way worse offense to get their death in battle denied since he now has to suffer all what he's been through). You deserve to die! I'll break you to pieces right now! I'll start with the arm...".

((You got this guy having Goku in all tied up to a rock, legs spread out, slapping Goku in the face, talking about "not being enough humiliation", and saying "this attacks are not enough", all emotionally charged and intense with his obsession of a rival, high in testosterone, from a warrior culture, that even back in the day I was like OH MY GOOOOD!? What is he going to DO?!! that when I heard him say "I'll break you to pieces right now! I'll start with the arm" I was like OH THANK GOODNESS he's just going to mutilate him... NO, WAIT...)) (also, notice that Vegeta is technically fighting a ghost because Goku is already dead)

Unfortunately for Goku though Vegeta didn't share the safe word and he had to free himself so he wasn't actually dismembered by the intensity of Prince Vegeta and they continued their fight, once again Goku leveling the field into a in a less emotionally charged more equal fight all things considered. They talk again and Vegeta admits to him that he understands that he's never going to surpass him because Goku is more skilled at fighting, now getting into the real meat of the matter with him and his frustrations. We get to Vegeta almost breaking in tears again, torn by the realization of his situation confessing all about how he wants to be who he was and how he cannot cope with his new life on Earth having all this new feelings for his family and being passive that make him feel like he is not himself. Which tells a lot about how he still doesn't know how to function outside of conflict and his deeply rooted self image since childhood, and to me it says that it almost feels to him like he's afraid of disappearing as an individual if he cannot go back to being something he recognizes and is familiar with as he doesn't recognize himself being something else, a who that is completely opposite to what he has ever known. Is something some people that had lived through a deeply traumatic upbringing experience. On top of it being a Saiyan it must have been really confusing and difficult but Goku is the only one that could probably understand that in some capacity as pure blooded Saiyan. That's why he is the only person Vegeta can trust with this information. With no one else he has this level of openness, probably not even with Bulma.

And i love how Goku doesn't give up on him though after everything and he is still willing to listen and help. Without his help here Vegeta wouldn't have confronted and put into words his reality to later internalize it and fully embrace his love for his family, fully embrace his feelings, giving Trunks later his first hug. That was all Goku's doing.

Of course things happened since they were still in the middle of total annihilation at the hands of the strongest pink ball of bubblegum. and from this fight and his explosive sacrifice/ acceptance of his destiny and for who he was, going forward Vegeta actually starts acting a little different. A lot more relaxed with Kakarot, more open and sincere, more focused on helping than competing, more agreeable and no longer ignoring or being embarrassed of his feelings for his loved ones (like we see when he gets convinced by Goku to do the fusion using Vegeta's love for Bulma). And I'm pretty sure he felt grateful and in life debt to him. Not only for his help with unjumbling his feelings during that fight but for everything he's done for him since the day Goku spared his life way back in the day (as we see him asking to Piccolo if he'll get to see Goku in the afterlife just before he sacrifices). A real true honest best friend/rival for life. (Though he still was being a bit stubborn about wanting to fight Buu himself in the anime, but in the manga he just doesn't charge head first into trying to battle him, he just doesn't like the idea of fussing with Kakarot).

Then the fusion thing...

The thing about the fusion is that Vegeta usually never wants to do it because he's embarrassed by the dance (which yeah... that's absolutely fair) but this is not the metamoran one, is the Potara, and they don't need to dance. His usual complains then change to "I just don't like to be fused with him" or "I don't like the idea of uniting bodies with him" when they have to do it later (either in canon or movie). And I don't know how doing a fusion with someone would feel like but the Potara at least has two ways it can go. For the Kaios just one person becomes the main, getting some physical characteristics and power of the other, and the other becomes dormant, just one person gets to be conscious. But for mortals, both actually remain conscious and they both "live" inside the body of each other as one new combined persona who is a combined identity, mixing mentally and physically, sharing memories, thoughts, feelings, everything in unison either the other wants it or not because when they are fused they are cooperating in a single brain so they think the same under this persona even if later they have separate thoughts on the same thing when they de-fuse, even better actually if they are rivals because they get the rival boost. Is not too crazy to think that some would consider it a very intimate act, even more because is permanent (until the retcon), which Goku is so considerate to tell Vegeta at the very last minute and he's like "WTF!" and Goku is just down with it while Vegeta is regretting ever meeting this guy but does it anyways.

And we have seen other characters combine but they don't think much about it, Trunks and Goten specifically just find it fun because they are best friends and just think about having the time of their lives beating up the bad guys. But I think Vegeta specifically does feel like it's something too personal and intimate that requires a lot his will power to do. His concept of it is different for a lot of reasons that all derive from being a very reserved person in general in many aspects. But ultimately and reluctantly agrees for the sake of his loved ones and saving his new home.

Goku certainly didn't thought much about it, just another way to become even stronger by cooperating with someone in a new way. Better if it's Vegeta because the power boost is much greater to save the Earth and he considers him a real friend at this point. He's so excited when Vegeta accepts because it means so much, it's the demonstration to Goku of his turn to an actual good guy, fighting for others and not just himself, and he's so proud. And the result is this very playful, sassy confident and cocky warrior that we all know and love because is the best thing ever and I don't have Vegetto favoritism.

But something did changed in both of them after the fusion. I know is an anime only thing for better pacing (at least until Super came and made it a thing again in small ways of its own), but after the fusion thing Goku started to unnecessarily get into Vegeta's personal space more (I mean, I don't think there's anything more intimate than fussing and you'd have to get a level of trust and understanding with that other person like with no one else ever afterwards regardless). Like, I like that when they do the cheek to cheek attack, which again was completely unnecessary, Vegeta feels dirty about it, even muttering to himself "He's an opportunist...(as in like, Goku was sexuality taking advantage of him) I would have preferred the fusion" and Goku asks him is he's finished blasting Buu bits and Vegeta recoils and yells "Don't get close to me!". (In the manga there's not really that much fuss about it when they separate, they just get to work and directly from separating to Buu's brain). The fusion represents the pinnacle of their growth together as partners. Probably even more than that at this point for how much they share as rivals and how much they understand about each other above any other person, including their own wives in some regards for all they have gone through on things only they can share between themselves like their love for battle.

And if they both were friendly before while still keeping their cards up, now is when they start to act more like brothers and cooperating. Goku with his power and techniques and Vegeta with his strategic planing at the end of the Buu saga. Goku even becomes more playful with Vegeta, even sharing funny moments together. And as pointed out, I believe the fusion made them know the thinking, memories and intentions of the other to a degree.

This is the turning point for Goku as well regarding accepting his heritage as Saiyan. Because from then on he also accepts the values of the Saiyans as warriors and accepts feeling pleasure in having a good fair honorable fight without aid and relying only in his strength and talent just for the thrill he gets of it (much like what he felt as a child/teen), which he demonstrates by breaking the second pair of Potara earrings while Vegeta responds by telling him that he's so proud of him for going into the fight the Saiyan way. Also from then on others start to recognize Goku fully as a Saiyan (so much is the influence Vegeta has had on him that in the Super Broly movie Goku introduces himself to Broly, a fellow Saiyan, as Kakarot first over Goku).

Now, about Vegeta with the fusion, if he wasn't too sure about the fusion first, now every time the fusion is required he almost feels violated by the suggestion (which right before the kid Buu fight he actually didn't mind fusing again and kinda wanted it in the anime while this wasn't in the manga but ok). And of course, if he didn't had much thoughts on getting close and personal with Goku when battling because it meant nothing (like the arm riding in the Saiyan saga and their bondage session prior), now he recoils from him in certain situations (it also didn't help that the first time they fuse they went dick first...).

Also also, there's a moment in the manga when Goku is fighting kid Buu in Ssj3 where Vegeta tells Goku that he guessed Goku was fighting overtime because he never intended for Vegeta to have his turn (because if he dies he dies for real), and Goku says that is not that, that he is just looking for an opportunity to reunite his power for at least a minute, and Vegeta gets all tsundere, blushes and says "So... So you weren't doing it to protect me?!..." (lol, well, here's the latin translation but you get the idea)

And onto Super, they made this thing about Goku asking Vegeta to grab his hand in order to instant transmission but Goku knows very well that's not necessary, he could have said to Vegeta to grab his shoulder like others do but he wants him to grab his hand, and Vegeta gets all flustered and nervous every time as if people are going to make fun of him for being gay or something (since we are told by the Pilaf gang that holding hands is very romantic and a sign of being a couple, and something to be embarrassed about, although from a childish perspective of course but this information was set up for the audience when Trunks wanted to hold hands with Mai). Like... Goku, do you have something to share as well?

They later spent 3 years in the hyperbolic chamber at Goku's request... 3 years together just sparing in a void where there's nothing but infinity and them, which again, it wasn't really necessary because as Vegeta points out that wasn't going to make much of a difference in terms of power because they are at their limit of what their bodies can achieve by just fighting, and three years is a bit too much. And Bulma even got jealous/angry about Vegeta accepting the invitation. And then! They come out like they did? Matching beards? I kinda want to wonder how that came to be. A dare? They broke the razor or what. Obviously the implication is that they got so into their fighting that they just forgot basic higiene those last days but like... I don't even have to try...

It's become such a well known thing that there's something going on that even in official material (not canon exactly but official) acknowledges it. Maybe Goku knows something we don't since the fusion happened but it goes a little beyond just a joke from his part XD.

And i haven't talked about it but Goku has no shame or filter. He does seem to display asexual tendencies, but he's either oblivious to sexual stuff at times and how it affects others, or does it on purpose because he feels not much about it but does know how it affects others. So that cheek to cheek attack could have been Goku being oblivious, or Vegeta was right and Goku took advantage of the situation to get close to Vegeta on purpose. He's also known since always to not really care about the social conventions of things. He's a good guy, but he's also reckless, impulsive at times, and if he wants something he'll just get it without thinking of what are others going to think about it.

In GT there's actually not too much, they just remain companions and friends for life...(Is just so cute and fulfilling seeing them being like brothers). Vegeta again reminiscing of everything they've gone through and accepting his role in the powerscale and being very freaking cute with Bulma, being such a dad and all. The highlight is the fusion again though, where Vegeta is the one that says he wants to do the fusion "So what have you decided, Kakarot. Are we going to do the fusion or not", to which Goku just laughs and Vegeta is like "what are you laughing at", and Goku responds saying that "I'm not laughing, I just feel happy because is the first time you ask ME to do the fusion", and Vegeta is just averts his eyes and says "I hate you...", lol.

Of course, the bromance tones might be just fanservice (I didn't knew that in shonen is actually very common). But either if there's something or not I don't really care much about that. Because as characters I have seen them grow so much and they have learn so much about themselves and each other that them possibly being into each other might as well be just another aspect they allow themselves to explore if they're down with it, with whatever canon or the anime presents us to see and guess, just like they have with their own families, wives, form friendships, discover new feelings, ways of thinking, how they have become stronger and how they have change the people around them, meta speaking as well. Because it does feel natural for them, like it didn't came out of nowhere or out of purely fanservice (which it kind of is but it does make sense). Either they are just friends, honorary brothers or something more I'm happy with who they have become thanks to each other. And the trust they have for each other is what is beautiful to see reflected. I'm so proud of them and what they have achieved. Now they are inseparable as the best duo in history.

And in my conclusions I would say that Vegeta might feel something towards Goku for how much he has helped him and how he has come to admire and respect him in levels unimaginable... in a spartan kinda way if you like and if he ever was down with it. And Goku is just Goku. He loves in a storge kind of way because that's what he does. He knows Vegeta to a T, knows what he needs, and wants him to be happy as well and become the better version of himself, to feel comfortable and feel loved too because he admires him as well, and if he can help him he will do so. Is not really a physical sexual attraction (which doesn't mean it cannot derive on one if you want and as we've seen, specially with Goku) but there IS attraction and love in a different way.

#dragon ball #goku #kakavege #vegeta #character analysis #my autism is greater than the page limit #long post

118 notes · View notes

homosexualmorelikehomiesexual · 9 months

Text

godddddddd sorry its like 3am but i cannot get this shit out of my head. the way elspeth is obsessed w other ppls trauma as a form of gossip and entertainment but still frames it as motherly concern. and how growing up w that caused felix to be the same way, obsessed with playing white knight to people so long as it can make him look good, and how he pressured Oliver into making up that sob story from the start. was it awful? i bet it was awful. that must be awful. fuck em. i just gave you what you wanted.

idk idk. something about how oliver desparately wanted to be with felix, to be felix, to be rescued, to take his place, to have something to be rescued from. but also bow felix desparately projects his own family dysfunction onto oliver, how he desparately wanted to see that part of himself in oliver, to pity him, to rescue him, to take him into the fold of his own fucked up family that he cannot see the flaws in but simultaneously desparately wants a distraction from. the desire to live vicariously through another, the hope they will rescue you from your circumstance, the desire to bury yourself in their skin, a layer of protection against reality as you acknowledge the dysfunction in your own life only through the others eyes. and then the way you gag them, show them but never let them acknowledge it. come with me, to saltburn. if you get sick of us, you can leave.

the way elspeth frames her kicking out pamela as something that pamela really wants, so she doesnt have to acknowledge how boring she finds her. the way felix unconsciously pressures oliver into making up a tragic backstory to be rescued from, so felix doesnt have to acknowledge how badly he wants to be rescued from his own family.

and!!!! the way that all oliver really does is play along. but he plays too well. they make it so, so fucking easy. the assumed narrative is that theyre the ones preying on him, but its turned on its head. he just gives them what they want, so he doesnt have to acknowledge how badly *he* wants it. he pretends he wanted saltburn all along, so he doesnt have to acknowledge how badly he wanted felix

this fucking movie, man

#saltburn #finnposting

223 notes · View notes

fuwaprince · 9 months

Text

👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥

It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $

I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry

Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered

There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)

I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent

All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂

I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can

So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live

I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid

Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends

I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*

Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!

And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉

#i decided i rather write a help post rather than a suicide note or my own obituary #sorry to ask for your attention AGAIN #mutual aid #important #help #i'm very sorry #mutuals can all kick my ass once for not abandoning me during these times #i wish i had a $ goal but i do not as of now #I'm taking it a day at a time #doing my very best and trying so damn fucking hard.. please help #i rly would just like to escape and have my own tiny place one day.... some place i can live and love happily in #i was on the steets earlier this year and living out of my ex's car. i do not want to go back to that out of desperation #i have been through so much just trying to survive in place where i don't feel like i belong or welcomes me #i need help #babbling

353 notes · View notes

donnatroyyyy · 8 months

Text

A (very long) list of my (semi) unpopular DC opinions

The Batfam shouldn’t work together as a whole big group as vigilantes. Whenever that does happen it ends up being character suicide for AT LEAST two of them and also usually ends up minimizing all of them to one of the skills/traits they’re good at (or the archetypes the writer wants them to be). The only exception to this is if it’s a long arc covering an actual catastrophe where each issue covers a duo or trio within the big group. Otherwise they should stick to no more than 4 ppl at a time in a team up. Also, this obviously doesn’t apply to them as civilians, they’re literally family obviously they’re gonna hang out as a group.

The Teen Titans (2003) is the best writing but (one of the) worst teams. On the other hand the original Teen Titans run and NTT run are the best teams (imo) but have either really bad or really mediocre writing. We as a society need an OG TT or NTT run written well.

Roy struggling with a heroin addiction has so many more layers and nuances to it than struggling with alcohol because as a non-meta hero most of his fights were against something drug-related. As opposed to alcohol which is now seen as a normal thing for soldiers/heroes/warriors to fall on as a crutch, this medium uses alcohol addiction with every other character. Roy’s addiction to heroin would literally be an opposition to all that he’s ever stood and fought for, all that his family and friends ever fought and stood for, and way more interesting because of that.

Garth (like Donna) is one of the most powerful and interesting characters but is never given enough panel time. However, unlike Donna, writers would rather write him out of the teen titans before they actually write a good interpretation of him. And I don’t know why but his role in the Aquafam too has been dwindling with time.

Garth’s openness about his inferiority complex and his inferiority complex in general need more panel time, it’s one of the most interesting thing to come out of the OG TT run

This is a complicated take because it’s literally two opposites in one take, but the main difference in characters as seen in old comics vs. now is two things. One, the writing of characters was much better, much more realistic, and much more nuanced in old comics. Two, when there is a well-written character in modern comics its usually a more show not tell character so everything is shown to us through actions and stuff rather than straight up words or them psychoanalyzing themselves in their speech bubbles and that just doesn’t work with modern audiences because media literacy is a dying art. Also, there’s the variable of the influence of fanon over how characters are written in comics but that’s a whole other post.

Roy and Donna are literally THE OTP like I don’t even want to hear it, they’re literally DC’s percabeth.

Every single Teen Titan had an inferiority complex, some were just easier to see.

Selina and Bruce and Talia and Bruce are two very different relationships that can’t be compared. Also they will always live side by side till the end of comics, this love triangle was one meant to last, and it will.

Jason Todd as we know him right now should get the YJ Roy Harper treatment, we need to find out that he’s a clone and the real JT is somewhere in Africa working for UNICEF or something, that’s the only way to fix his character.

Also, ignoring the top one, if DC doesn’t want to commit to that because they’re cowards, they should at least not make him a part of the Batfam yet, it’s too soon for either side.

Kara Zor El is the perfect character to be a white lantern, her arc literally matches up perfectly with each of the rings, and she’d wield it incredibly

Kyle Rayner is top 3 GLs

In my opinion, Diana is best written when the most important thing to her in the world is the world itself. Like, usually I hate the whole “hero would sacrifice u, villain would sacrifice the world” thing cuz it mostly doesn’t really apply, but to her it absolutely does. Diana would sacrifice the closest person to her for the world in an instant if it was for the sake of the world. And this isn’t like an angst thing because they all know it and are all ok with it.

Also, Diana is one of the most if not the most powerful characters in all of DC, if DC did a Deadpool kills the marvel universe kind of thing they should totally use her because she is sooo powerful. (Afterthought: that’s why I hate most of her appearances in anything JL because they underpower her soooo bad)

I say this as a batfamily Stan, the batfamily is the worst family in all of DC and sadly the one that gets the most attention.

The OG TT are the epitome of superheroes in the sense that each and every one of them defines every part of a superhero spectacularly and always has.

Kory needs an arc where she leaves everyone and everything for a while because as of right now, not only do the writers only ever see her in relation to others, but she sees herself that way. She needs an arc where she finds herself in relation to herself, who SHE is. Away from the love triangle, and the titans, and the Titans, etc.

Babs is a better character outside of the love triangle than she is when she’s in it. (Also a better character as Oracle but that only really unpopular amongst writers)

Every single woman character in DC is written in relation to the men in the comics, even WW. The only exception is Oracle, not Babs, but Oracle, which is actually so twisted considering that the creation of Oracle as a character came hand in hand with an event that literally inspired the cloning of the phrase “fridging”

BOP is one of the best teams

Harley Quinn shouldn’t be a hero yet, she was abused for over a decade, we need to see more of her struggle to undo all of the manipulation and heal from the abuse as well as try to undo all the damage she’s done. The Animated Series is the best version of her arc but it’s still not good either.

We as a fandom(s) need to normalize the ability to consume and enjoy things we don’t necessarily agree with. For example, as I’ve stated before multiple times, I absolutely hate any kind of abusive Bruce, however, I still read those long posts about it and I still read fics where dck punches him cuz he’s an abusive asshole, it’s okay to consume media that you don’t necessarily agree with. And same with fanon versions of characters, I HATE coffee-addict Tim, I’ve still enjoyed hundreds of fics with him in them though.

Damian Wayne is the most compassionate member of the batfam and one of the Keats likely ones to willingly kill

Blue devil and kid devil have arguably the most interesting story and tragedy in all of DC and the only reason they’re not given a lot of attention is because their tragedies have to do with something we don’t like to see: the wrongdoings and flaws of heroes, especially ones we like.

Speed Saunders should’ve continued as a character

Hal Jordan should’ve stayed evil for a while, the end of the parallax arc sucks and is a stupid cop out because they weren’t ready for a fully new GL. I don’t think he should’ve stayed the villain forever, but maybe for a few years, especially if that meant they would’ve ended the arc better.

Mera is more powerful than Arthur, always has been and always will be.

Wally West does see Barry Allen as a father figure and vice versa, it’s okay to see someone as a parental figure when you still have parents, especially when your parents are (canonically) borderline emotionally abusive and/or neglectful.

Any iteration of ANY hero being abusive is the worst writing ever because what the actual fuck, I’m sorry, but what happened to the whole they’re literally fucking heroes part??

There are so many characters that deserve solo series (or even mini series) but don’t get them because all the series are already being taken up by bigger characters (looking at you batfam)

So many characters get mischaracterized for the sake of other character’s stories (again, looking at you batfam)

Anyone who thinks Superman is boring either doesn’t understand him as a character or hasn’t read enough stuff with him in it (I recommend All-Star Superman and/or American Alien)

Anyone who relates to the Joker needs to turn themselves in at the nearest police station. (Unless it’s LEGO Joker, we like him)

The LEGO Batman movie is unironically some of the best DC media to ever exist

Atlantis and Paradise Island should be allies (especially once Diana, Arthur, and Mera come into the picture), I don’t know why they’re not

Lex Luthor is one of the most despicable villains because he’s a realistic villain, which is much scarier

Kon should be the next Superman

Connor Hawke should’ve stayed Tim’s age and Tim’s friend, it makes the most sense timeline-wise plus I think their dynamic was super cute.

Comic writers not making Roy openly refer to Ollie as his dad even though they’ve been father and son since they’ve debuted basically is actually so crazy to me

These next few are about Talia Al-Ghul because I love that woman:

Talia Al-Ghul Pre-Morrison was one of the best and most interesting characters in all of DC and that isn’t just my opinion, she was really popular amongst fans and writers for that exact reason

However, Morrison’s damage to her is near irreparable

BUT, if DC did want to repair it, I genuinely believe she’d be the best character they’d have character-wise and it would probably pull in a bunch of new fans

But even if they don’t, Talia Al-Ghul is one of the most important characters in all of DC and comics in general because she’s literally the documented history of WOC in media (especially Arab and Asian women) as well as their relation to white men in media. Her character and how it changes is directly tied to mainstream views on WOC at the time.

Talia Al-Ghul is literally of “I Bet On Losing Dogs” by Mitski, personified

Dinah Lance is the perfect example of a complex character done right and interpreted wrong/not interpreted enough.

If anyone should be the therapist within the hero community it should be J’onn or Red tornado, those are the two that make the most sense.

Helena Bertinelli is more important to the batfam than Jason Todd is.

Cassandra Cain shouldn’t be portrayed as mute anymore, it doesn’t make sense for her character or her arc.

The worst thing to happen to Poison Ivy’s character is Harley Quinn.

Mera is made to be a mother, whether to her own kids (Garth included) or as a mother figure to other kids.

On the other hand, Stephanie Brown wasn’t ready and doesn’t/didn’t want to be a mother, she gave up her baby willingly and will almost 100% not go out to look for her.

Lady Shiva’s appearances 99% of the time are out of character for her, the whole “training with Shiva” thing is also OOC for her, and Cass even existing is OOC for her. The reason that this continues though is because she’s been transformed from an actual character into a character tool.

Stephanie Brown and Cassanadra Cain are a good duo and anyone who hates on one but likes the other misunderstood both of their characters.

Dick hating Jason for what he did to Tim IS in character of him, and, in my opinion, correct of him

The rise in people who don’t like heroes’s pacifism is concerning. People calling Bruce a bad person because he doesn’t kill is concerning. People viewing Clark as boring because he’s a good person is concerning. People liking straight up villains more than they do heroes is concerning.

Anyone who recommends mister miracle should also tell them about the TW in the first few pages

Kingdom come isn’t that good, especially to non-Christians

Big Barda needs her own run. We need a Bug Barda run that covers everything from her origins to where she is now, and we need it done by a female writer who’s good at complex and heavy stories

Some of the most hated comic writers are some of the best at what they do

Chuck Dixon is just as much a blessing to any character he writes as he is a curse

Marvel’s comic writers and artists 80% of the town do a better job with their characters and their arcs than DC writers and artists.

DC should have sensitivity readers because the amount of racism in these comics is insane

It’s okay to put down a comic/run because you don’t like the art, it’s your time no one’s gonna judge you

Alex Ross’s art is actually nice, people just like hating

The Trinity should never be shipped with one another

Steve isn’t important to Diana at all, he’s barely in any of her comics actually, he’s less important to her (or at least to her character) than fucking swamp thing

Batfam is better smaller

It’s better to read the first appearances of characters, it helps you understand them better.

Lois Lane is the DC version of Susan Storm, aka the blueprint of women in that company’s comics, but also one of the most forgotten women in that company’s comics

Comics aren’t going to go anywhere arcwise for the characters long term, that’s the whole point. Batman will always have a robin. Love triangles will always be love triangles. They will all always stay young.

Old campy comics were better than modern comics.

Cheshire isn’t a redeemable character and shouldn’t be one. Women in comics should be allowed to be straight up villains and stay that way.

Cheshire having Lian is OOC. Cheshire leaving Lian is a racist trope.

Asian and Arabs are treated horribly by DC.

The New 52 is actually a good place to start for new readers, it was a good idea, but it should’ve just been an alternate universe (like mcu is to 616 kind of) or something (and it should’ve been down with the supervision of anyone who isn’t Dan didio)

DC has some of the best world building in the history of modern day media/literature especially considering how many facets of this world there were/are to build

Team rosters that are constantly changing are better than stationary ones unless they change too much/too fast

Canon is hypocritical 90% of the time, most times canon clashes and crashes and doesn’t make sense, so don’t worry about it, read a comic, count what you want to be canon as canon, throw the rest into to the “never existed” pile

I’m sorry to tell you guys this, but it isn’t an opinion, it’s an unpopular canon fact, one that even I don’t like: Dick Grayson likes pineapple one pizza

Something that I hate that been on the rise a lot lately is the fact that the fandom is so okay with character being sexualized just because they like how the characters look, I feel like we should keep our stances on this as they are with all over-sexualized characters.

Villains of the week are actually so fun, even more then the big villains sometimes.

JSA needs a comeback please and thank you (I’m begging atp)

Cassandra Cain shouldn’t be Orphan, ever, it makes no sense for her to take the name of her abused. The same way it doesn’t make sense for Jason to become red hood.

Complex characters who are dumbed down once can be dumbed down and mischaracterized every time after that, and this has been done A LOT.

The YJ shows is very much overhyped

The fact that DC overpowers their characters makes them more interesting, not less

Selina was right and in character when she left Bruce at the alter. She was not right and in character when she hid Helena from him, she wouldn’t do that.

Bruce Wayne is more fun to read when he has a pipe and fun colored robes, please give him back his pipe and his fun colored robes.

139 notes · View notes