#i got no time for dealing with bigots on my blog

[steakout-05]

hey just a reminder because i keep seeing this garbage pile up in the lgbtq+ community: people are not inherently bad for being a man and being masc. it is not a bad thing to identify as a guy and do masculine stuff and present yourself in a masc way. the view that being a man somehow makes you bad/abusive/creepy/bigoted hurts so many men in our community (gay men, trans men, literally everyone actually) and it's just a ridiculous statement in itself. gender does not equal morality, belief or action. people are not predisposed to badness because of their gender. that is a silly idea and i thought we as a community progressed past this but apparently not.

[anamericangirl]

Sort of in response to the anon with the stranger things fandom blog:

I run a moderately big blog in a relatively small fandom, and I don't keep it a secret I'm Christian (though I keep it on the low-down that I'm conservative), and people are usually chill about it. But there was this huge controversy a couple months ago that another Christian blogger accidentally started involving pride stuff and suddenly I had loads of hysterical people in my inbox demanding I spell out every belief I had in case I was a 'bigot' because 'people are getting killed'??? I got a bunch of threats as well.

The worst part of it was the whole flood of posts mocking conservatives and Christians and their beliefs in the fandom tags, and things like "this character says these people suck!" (more rudely then that obviously). A bunch of people (several of them friends) got driven away by it all, and I was so disgusted by the actions of people I had considered friends or at least friendly associates who had suddenly turned into this huge mob of hatred. And while things have calmed down I'm still dealing with the emotions from it and people act like it was no big deal.

And yet before all of that... we all coexisted together just fine. I don't get how the pride community that claims it's 'accepting to all' can just attack people like that, who never bothered them at all. It hurts and it's so stupid.

But yeah all that to say, I get it anon. It's so hard. I hope you never have to deal with half of what I've had to put up with.

Ugh that’s terrible 😞

The pride community is absolutely vicious, especially online. If they were really loving and accepting they wouldn’t have to spend so much time telling us that’s what they are because their behavior would show it. And what they’ve shown is they are the least loving and tolerant community out there.

They’re like the only community it’s not ok to offend in any capacity and act like it’s on par with a crime and will even take people to court if they get mad enough (like the Christian baker situation) so the idea that they are oppressed or marginalized is laughable. They are completely toxic and they can’t handle seeing anything that disagrees with them or doesn’t wholeheartedly support them in all their endeavors. It’s always interesting to see who claims oppression vs who isn’t afraid to speak out and isn’t attacked for doing so and those are often the same parties.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. They should all be able to be more mature and able to understand that on the internet they might see things they don’t like sometimes and it’s not ok to attack people.

It can be nice to know you’re not the only one out there who feels like they have to keep silent for fear of being attacked by online mobs, though. So I’m sure the other anon will appreciate this.

[yooniesim]

So, I got this pretty gross anon last night, right. And me being me, on reflex I start answering it, I go through each part, etc. And then all of a sudden I look up and realize, it's late, I'm tired, and I spent almost an hour writing this reply. I said to myself, dude, what in the fuck are you doing? Why are you wasting your time again? Are you really going to post this vitriol, knowing this person likely doesn't give a flying fuck what you have to say anyway, and their bigoted words could hurt your followers that see it? You know better than this. I just reblogged something yesterday about not dignifying bullshit with a response, and there I was doing just that. The anon was already blocked, so I deleted my post I started. And it felt damn good.

Instead, I think I'm gonna say some of the more important things I was thinking about in a more general way. Cos there are a few things I wanna lay down so there's no misunderstanding or any hope that I will do anything different in the future.

First and foremost. From this point on, I won't be accepting or answering any opinions on who or what I am, identity wise. the fact of the matter is, you don't define who or what someone is. you don't tell me what I am, I tell you, and you either accept it as the truth or you leave. your opinion doesn't determine my reality and never will. I'm at the stage of my life where I'm simply not entertaining any bullshit from observers any longer. I will call myself whatever I please and speak on whatever I feel I should as the person I am & the life I've lived, and you will either deal with that or you just won't be around me. period. the block button is my friend now, and I've taken on the mentality that if I block you, you just don't exist to me anymore. you live your life, I live mine, I just never look at your blog or acknowledge you again. any mature person would do the same.

Secondly, I recently mentioned my features (lips, nose, etc) because I wanted to emphasize I am proud of them despite being mocked my whole life for having them. I've even been mocked for them on here in a bigoted manner because like I said before, my pics have been posted plenty. and there was just a debacle recently with a simblr mocking thick lips, because anti-blackness is a constant undercurrent in simblr. that's why I mentioned them. I emphasized that because I want everyone to know that I'm not ashamed of who I am and never will be, despite the fact that some on here fight tooth and nail to try to make me feel I'm somehow less worthy. they will never succeed with me, but I don't want anyone else to feel ashamed of themselves for how they look either. these features are beautiful and worth being proud of and uplifted.

Finally, I'm going to say again: to all my poc followers, mixed or not, you're worthy, and you should be proud of yourselves too. don't let opinions from terminally online people with no actual life experience cause you any shame about who you are. who your parents are, your genetics, your percentages, it don't matter I couldn't give any less of a fuck. you tell me who you are and your struggles and your pain, and I believe and support you. I'm in your corner, and I can only hope I can give back half the love I've been given during this time. You're valid and your voices are important. That's the most important thing I wanted to say, and if this subject comes up again, that's what I will emphasize repeatedly.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

I can't in any capacity say that I'm an ally to anyone. That's not me being an asshole. That's not me being a bigot. I'm an ally to no group. I'm a friend to people. And I care about people. Someone asked me about one of my asks where I got called a transphobe and a homophobe and it reminded me about the topic in general.

Fact is I don't care what color you are. What religion you belong to. What sexuality you are. What Identity you assume. If you are not a dick to me or to people that I care about, I won't take issue with you. What's weird though is to be called homophobic when a lot of my friends are lgbt. And this is not one of those, "Well I have a black friend" moments. I legit have friends from varying walks of life. One of my best friends from college was a gay black furry. And one of my favorite past times was picking on him in playful ways. Why? Because if was always fun to see him flustered and he actually thought it was funny. Am I gay? No. I'm comfortable in the fact I'm straight. And my friend knew that.

There are going to be a lot of things that people say that I don't agree with. Does that make me hateful? No. It just means that I have my own views on things. I however understand that if I WAS hateful towards certain groups, I'd have to be bigoted against a huge number of my friends. Like my college buddy from Sri Lanka, his friend and our roommate who's have Korean half Black. Several of my ex GF's who've been bisexual. Even friends of mine who are lesbians whom I've defended in public after they have been accused of being transphobes for, and I'm not kidding, "No being willing to suck the dicks of trans women". That's not a fucking joke. And it's sick.

I've made posts about how I'm not an extremist because I'm not. Fact is, and I mean this, I should not be considered an bigot because I don't worship a movement. No one else should either. And on my blog I will cover a lot of topics. Like:

-Groomers -Gun Laws -Radical Feminism -Black Representation in TV and Movies -Race Swapping -Capitalism -Communism -Socialism -Anarchy -State and Federal Powers -Etc.

And there will always be more. I'm not transphobic. I just want kids left alone. I'm also not homophobic, but again leave kids alone. If you are an adult you can love another consenting adult. I take ZERO issue with it. And I never will take issues with it. My only focus on any of that stuff is quite literally "Let kids be kids. Let them figure out who they are without pushing them. Don't sexualize them ever." Simple rules to live by. Anything else? I'm willing to have a discussion about. Hell I've been on record losing my shit at least in one of my reblogs borderline making promises to deal with anyone who would threaten any of my friends/family irl because they are LGBT.

What many don't understand about me is that I'm an angry ginger who is actually pretty moderate on most issues. And it's only in cases where people belong to cult like mentalities that anyone can even REMOTELY consider me hateful or radical. More so when we consider that the only people I actively hate are those that actively seek to harm others. And not just in a weird way that won't do anything. I'm talking people that WILL or would enact actual violence onto people I care about. Like the FBI. Or Antifa. Or real extremist white supremacist's. Or segregationists leftists who have called some of my non white friends "house N-". I typically don't give that word any power myself and most of my friends don't, but believe me when I tell you, I'll make you look like a punk and I won't even have to touch you.

So even the notion, that I'm X type of bigot is hilarious to me. And no amount of this, "Bow to me and my ideology or you are a bigot" will make me change who I am to my friends, my family, and the people I care about. I worship no one. And I will never bow to your cult like ideals. And maybe one day, someone like the person who sent that ask will find it justifiable to kill me. Who knows. I certainly don't. All I do know is that I'm a very caring person. And a lot of the time the stuff I mean get's lost in translation. What I say might be interpreted one way by one person and another by someone else.

That's just reality. But if you can't even come to me and ask for clarification, or you just expect me to placate someone because of the group they belong to, then you are barking up the wrong tree. You are not my friend. You are not my family. And a number of you are people that would actively endorse having me end my own life, or wishing someone would end my life for you.

Why? Because you are tyrants. You believe yourselves gods and that your "moral rights" are and should be everyone's "Moral rights". You will not rule me. You will not control me. You will not make me worship you as if you were gods. I am me, and only me. And I will live me best life not just for myself, but for the people I hold dear.

[aleprouswitch]

I didn't want to talk about this out in the open, but I've been dealing with a situation here on Tumblr since late August involving a user who has sent me several messages claiming that a mutual/friend of mine here is a white supremacist. The accuser wasn't following my blog and had never interacted with me until the first message I got. I'm still perplexed as to why I was even contacted about this in the first place. In any case, I tried to be polite and told this guy that I'd speak with my friend about whatever issue might be present.

Several weeks passed, and honestly the whole thing just slipped my mind because I've been really busy with work and other responsibilities. I get another message from this accuser asking if I had talked to my friend yet about his alleged white supremacist behaviors. I told him that I forgot about it (which I did) and that I would message this friend privately to discuss things. We did talk about these accusations, and based on our conversation, I felt like there was nothing to worry about and carried on with my business.

Last Saturday, I got yet another message from this guy where he sent me one of my own posts where I was discussing a completely different incident of someone being accused of white supremacy despite the fact that this user is a black man, which is so absurd and why I made the post to begin with. This accuser thought I was instead talking about the issue with my friend and self-righteously asked if I "even bothered" to talk to my friend at all about his "disgusting N@zi behavior". He even threw in the whole "I'm old and have been fighting N@zis all my life, blah blah blah".

While this message irked me, I decided to be civil and write a very thought-out reply explaining that based on my interactions with this mutual/friend and our conversation, I saw no evidence of any wrongdoing. I also made sure to let this accuser know in a polite but assertive manner that I'm 35 years old, this isn't my first time at the proverbial Leftist rodeo, and I think that my judgment is sound enough to where I can make my own decisions about who I associate with, and that he as essentially a stranger shouldn't be invested in who I associate with in the first place.

Surprise surprise, I got no direct response from this guy, but he made sure to show up today to leave a laugh-react emoji on a post I made that was anti-fascist in nature, seemingly to suggest that I was a hypocrite or some kind of a clown. I blocked him. I have no doubt he'll probably lurk this blog and see this post, so let me make it clear again: I can be friends with whoever the hell I want to, your "evidence" that my mutual friend is a bigot was not really much evidence at all, and you have absolutely no right to sit on some kind of moral high-horse, especially considering your own blog content.

The only clown here is you. You're a total clown, a bozo even. The veil of performative leftism you're wearing is thinner than the one-ply toilet paper at my old high school's bathroom. You need to sincerely get a life, leave me alone, and if you want to do something that's actually mature and big-boy panties in nature, try talking to my friend directly and make all those accusations to him directly. Maybe go outside for a little bit and get some fresh air, too. It will do you good.

[our-mspec-experience]

Hi! I'm so glad I found your blog, especially during these very rough times for MSPECs and queer people as a whole.

I'm a bi lesbian, and I only recently came just a year ago. Before I did some googling, I had no idea what an MSPEC, Mogai or anything like that was. Actually, truth be told, I'm still learning what some terms mean and I love seeing new terms be brought to light/discovered.

However, I'm also very aware of BLERFs (Bi Lesbian Exclusionary Radical Feminists), TERFs, and MERFs (MSPEC Exclusionary Radical Feminists), as well as general bigots and bigoted queers/exclusionists. As someone who's experienced all but one of the above, I understand that it can be very uncomfortable, especially for young, closeted or confused MSPECs to feel safe, happy and accepted by a broader group of people.

Before I got tumblr, I honestly thought I was the only open bi lesbian on twitter lol. I know now that I'm not, just that our numbers are low due to the above reasons and many more that I did not name.

My biggest tip for any and all MSPECs is this:

Don't be afraid to come out. There are people who love you and accept you. As long as you aren't hurting anyone or anything, I can assure you that a lot of people, hidden or otherwise, know what you're going through and will always be willing to help out.

Before I finish the ask, I might as well as you a few things:

. If you use a flag, what one do you use to show your identity?

. Is there anything you use in particular to stump exclusionists when in a one-way debate and two-way argument (aka a regular chat with an exclusionist, assuming they're capable of rational thinking)?

. What are some pointers/tips for anyone confused about their sexuality but feel as if they sit on the MSPEC spectrum?

. What are some of the funniest encounters you've had with other MSPECs?

Because the questions are being to pile up, I'll stop now lol.

Have a great day (or night), stay hydrated, and remember to wear your seatbelt!

Thank you for the questions! I think I’ll make them their own post since this one is already quite long(if you’d like me to tag you in it let me know). I hope you also have a good day/night, stay hydrated & wear a seatbelt!

Im sorry to hear you’ve had to deal with so much backlash against your identity, you are always welcome here!

[cock-holliday]

I saw your post about gender-positive community and I loved it so much, but at the same time I feel hopeless about finding these kind of spaces for myself. You've described so many amazing experiences and I'm so happy for you- I'm wondering how to find those, I don't know what I'm doing wrong that I feel rejection or disinterest from every queer community I'm trying to be part of, and I keep blaming myself for being too GNC and not fitting in any box.

Oh, anon, I'm very sorry for your struggles. Fortunately or unfortunately, I can very much relate. It rubs me a bit the wrong way that a number of folks have said on that post (or others) that discourse is an online problem that doesn't happen offline. Which is...blatantly not true. Yes, plenty of shitty takes come from knowing no offline queers but many people actually take their tumblr-poisoned opinions into offline spaces. And certainly, not all or even most of the BS you find offline is due to tumblr discourse.

I'd say, simply, it isn't your fault and you aren't doing anything wrong by being you. As with any vulnerability, you are simultaneously open to those who will love you best and those who will know how to hurt you worst. When I first came out as bi, I was proud of my identity and wanted it to be known regardless of my partner's gender. It allowed me to connect with other bisexuals! ...and also opened me to a lot of biphobia. When I was a binary trans person, regardless of if it was early in my transition or late when I was cis-passing, I was open about being trans. I preferred to find out it was a deal-breaker as early as possible. It allowed me to connect with other trans people--especially when people didn't know I was trans. ...it also opened me up to a torrent of transphobia, a lot of which crushed my confidence at the time.

Now with being nonbinary I exist in this sort of grey area. There isn't really "passing as me" to most people. I can pass as a man or a woman. I am sometimes read or assumed as a trans woman or trans man. But most people assign one box or the other. Which is not always ideal, or sometimes can be bothersome--other times dangerous. In some places I am stealth. Sometimes as different things. Sometimes I've had to pick and choose between authenticity and safety and sometimes the threshold changes.

Rejection is, deeply deeply unfortunately, a part of the risk of being open. And it sucks. It sucks so bad, anon. You will get shit from bigots, you will get shit from queers that hold power or status over you, and you will get it from peers who feel like your identity is somehow a threat to them. I really don't have any advice for how to stop that--for the thousands of lovely comments on that post, I still got a swath of angry anons sending vile shit over it. Being truly genuinely apologetically your queer self makes people angry. It's terrible and sucks to experience, but the best I can offer for that is you are supremely not alone.

The advice I can give is keep seeking out community. I didn't know any other trans people until I joined my college's LGBT club. The club had some stuff that sucked and it also introduced me to one of my best friends. I went alone to a trans vigil and found both friends and a warmth that religious leaders had attended to offer prayer with those who were religious. I went to a queer community meeting and it sucked and one of the other people who hated it and I became friends. We aren't still friends but I'm still friends with people they went on to introduce me to. I shared a lot of wonderful experiences I've had, but not all of them held significance for me until long after they had passed. Looking back, reexamining, taking what I can from what I had and keeping going back for more has sustained me.

Keep seeking out community. If the community isn't what you want, take the pieces that are salvageable with you until you find something better. This includes online. There are so many wonderful messages on that post. Follow blogs that resonate. Collect as much as you can online, offline, in media--books have been such a refuge for me! Over and over finding that people related to my struggles gave me such a sense of peace.

I realized I was trans because of tumblr. I met lifelong trans friends offline. Some of the most lifechanging books I've ever read got recommended to me online. I played so many sports and took up so many hobbies and had so many experiences in an effort to find irl community. Online spaces made me feel so much less alone. I met so many queers when I wasn't even looking--just getting involved in any community spaces/efforts. My girlfriend, who I love so very dearly, who sees me more clearly than maybe anyone I've ever met, who takes all the complicated messy parts of me and loves them as a whole, not in spite of each other...I met her on tumblr. One of my best friends and I met on one of the scariest most brutal days of my life out in the real world. They met their partner on tumblr.

Find reality checks offline where you can to get away from tumblr bullshit. Find sameness in online spaces that you can't readily find offline. It's so hard to find community and love and acceptance. It's hard to be queer. And "too queer" for queer spaces. Sometimes you have to hide a bit of yourself for safety, and sometimes you can find room to flourish.

I hope that post gives you a piece to hold onto. I hope this response does. I hope that post can connect you to other people. Or give you the confidence to try a new scene or space offline. Keep trying. It's not you, it's the world we live in, but you and twenty-six thousand people and counting do not accept that it has to be that way.

Keep putting yourself out there. The right crowd will love you for it.

I love you for it, anon!

[redjennies]

In regards to Dragon Age, what really gets me is that people miss the part where the Circles and Templars- while both being *bad*- are fear-responses rather than thinly veiled and easily defined vehicles for oppression and bigotry entirely. They’re not equivalent in any meaningful way to real world institutions like that.

The setting established from the beginning that Mages can- even unintentionally- be very dangerous. It’s not irrational to be a little nervous about people that can level city blocks in a temper tantrum, or become vessels for demons by accident, because these are documented realities; it’s not a matter of ‘oo witchcraft!’ because they actually can do those things. Oppressing and holding these people at gun point, who acquire this power through no fault of their own, is vicious bullshit- but it is a flawed solution to a very real problem, not an invented one. Of course they’re terrified! Mages have demonstrated in extreme cases the ability to bend the flow of time or punch holes in reality!! We’ve watched them do it in the games! What can anyone else do about that?

That doesn’t in any way justify the circles or what the Templars do and act like, but the idea that they literally only exist to be the world’s most obvious oppressors is so dumb. It doesn’t help that the setting forgets it too sometimes.

FUCKING THIS THO.

I don't know how long you've been following my blog, but this is like the crux of my major issue with the Dragon Age fandom. it's not that I'm anti-mage, pro-Chantry. most of my personal canon playthroughs are pro-mage because as I said, in the first two games, siding with the templars means murdering all the mages, which is not my personal cup of tea. my issue here is that this specific oppression metaphor does not work for me for the exact reasons you listed, and yes, that's a problem I have with the writing, but I could deal with bad writing if the fandom at large was willing to add this layer of nuance to the discourse.

like at this point, my expectations for DA4 are abysmal. I will play it and I will probably not shut up about it for weeks, but one thing I'm genuinely excited about is Tevinter because the politics of Tevinter actually make fucking sense. as I've said before "RIP to Circle mages, but if I could throw fireballs, I simply would not let guys with swords oppress me." if we're introducing magic to a setting, it makes more sense for people with literal special powers to be the privileged class (or a more than the oppressed class because otherwise, you end up with this metaphor backfire of accidentally saying "yes, oppressed groups are inherently more dangerous than your average person." regardless of whether your conclusion is that "being bigoted against them is still bad."

I've talked about this before too, but it's extra infuriating because Bioware actually got the "how would magic interact with systems of power" situation right with the biotics in the Mass Effect series. Liara having space magic isn't the same as Kaidan being a biotic. Liara is a member of a species where everyone has biotics and has for some time so they know how to use it without hurting themselves. while Kaidan, on the other hand, was part of the first generation of humans to develop those abilities. it's two completely different experiences, and the game frames the problems Kaidan faces as a human biotic as being tied to his specific experience as someone who developed what were until recently supernatural abilities that could kill him (and by his own account, did kill other children like him) and being fitted with a faulty implant due to humans not having the technology to treat him. while he does mention being stigmatized for "being a freak," Kaidan isn't inherently oppressed for just having magic. he is a disabled test subject who the government would quickly abandon to deal with his physical and mental trauma on his own were he not in the military and he is considered "one of the lucky ones." still, while the specifics of his trauma are fantastical, the general theme of what happened to him is rather realistic given how we treat people with disabilities in the real world.

so to circle back to the Dragon Age mages, were it not for the Templars being meanies, there's no real drawback to being a mage in Thedas so long as mage children are trained properly. it has been around for several generations, it is incredibly powerful, and would you look at that? they have been conveniently put in one place where they can easily communicate with each other and organize. seriously, though, how did the mage rebellion not happen sooner? I mean you could make some comment about why the proletariat, the largest class, does not simply eat the bourgeoisie, but that falls apart when you remember I cannot shoot lightning from my hands.

and what gets me is how many Dragon Age characters are thrown under the bus for simply remembering people CAN shoot lightning from their hands. an obvious example I'm still mad about is Sera, who was initially widely hated by the fandom for being afraid of magic when she literally just has arrows and jars of bees. it still drives me up the wall that Anders fans act like Anders' trauma at the hands of templars inherently absolves him of any wrongdoing, but Fenris just needs to get over Tevinter mages enslaving him and be friends with Anders, who is regularly shitty to elves, and join his fight for justice already. like it is genuinely so funny how most of the fandom hated Dragon Age characters like Fenris and Sera and Vivienne because they firstly committed the sin of "having weird feelings about letting guys with fireballs do whatever they wanted while being a minority" and then the Mage Rights crowd who love their white boy Anders will turn around and be like "why would Chantry stans do this?" like WHAT?

[aveline-amelia]

On sexuality assumptions in Sherlock (part 2)

So, I literally forgot this was supposed to be a two-parter and what I was even going to write about in part two, but then I remembered. This is about examining some TJLC/Johnlock evidence that is potentially actually problematic and regressive if taken as fact. Not all of them are ProblematicTM, some are just... weird. These are in no particular order and some are possible stretches, but hey, I am allowed to have meta fun too.

Number 1: Mycroft making the sarcastic comment about John and Sherlock's engagement is proof Sherlock is gay.

The reason why this feels regressive to me is because it implies that you can only make quips about your brother dating a man if your brother is gay. But... why? Why is it only acceptable to make this comment if the men in question date other men? It's not a joke about the concept of homosexuality itself.

The 'joke' is "You have been very close to my brother, moved in with him, and are spending a lot of time with him. What's next, marrying him?" That's the point of the comment. It has nothing to do with anyone being gay.

Mycroft doesn't mean they are actually a couple. I fully believe that if Sherlock had a female flatmate, he would have made the exact same comment. All this tells us is that Mycroft doesn't think being gay is a big deal or possibly that being gay in this world isn't that big of a deal.

First of all, let's entertain the possibility that Mycroft believes or knows that Sherlock is gay. If this implies that Sherlock is gay, isn't telling that to John, whom Mycroft just met, and can't be certain that they ever even discussed the topic, basically outing Sherlock to his flatmate?

Now I talked about the fact it's very possible Mycroft made this comment and the later one hinting about possible John/Sherlock sex in the future (which is much better evidence, but people focus much more on the first one since it's more apparent) is testing the waters to see how John feels about gay people and how he feels about being mistaken for a couple with another man or being accused of having feelings for a man.

If John reacted in a very defensive and/or homophobic manner, it's possible Mycroft would have made sure John stayed far away from his little brother. This in itself doesn't have to mean Mycroft believes Sherlock is gay, just that he is being cautious because bigots are unsafe to be around (let alone live with!) for anyone who isn't a bigot themselves.

Number 2: If Sherlock isn't gay, why doesn't he ever correct the people who think he is or that he's dating John?

Because he doesn't care what they think of him. Related to number 1. It's okay to wish people not to mislabel you. Not wanting people to think you're gay if you're not is not homophobia. But Sherlock just doesn't care. This is in contrast with John, who does correct people and doesn't want newspapers calling him a confirmed bachelor.

Number 3: Sherlock got a case wrong and accused a gay man of being a murderer because he was feeling bad about his Unrequited Gay Love for John, who was dating someone else at the time and he thought gay relationships were doomed to fail (this is about a case on John's blog)

This one is just... why. Sherlock is the Great Detective. He's the world's only consulting detective. Why would a man's sexuality influence his decision solely because he's hoping for a gay relationship for himself and is salty about it? Gay or not gay, there's no indication sexual orientation plays any factor in how he views or treats people. This assumption is just straight-up homophobic. I can't see it any other way. Sherlock thinking a man is a murderer because he's gay... is homophobic. Even if you believe Sherlock is gay, internalized homophobia is a thing. It would also make him look quite incompetent, unprofessional, and just straight-up Bad at his job, the one thing he is unquestionably Good at.

Now we get into the weaker ones, at least according to me.

Number 4: Sherlock knowing purple apart from lilac or making serviettes makes him Camp Gay.

I think this is just Sherlock being Sherlock. He knows the color because he knows and notices the things others don't while ignoring those he deems unimportant. As for the serviettes? Why? Because planning a wedding is a gay stereotype? Sherlock is most likely hyperfocused on the wedding because he's nervous about things changing.

Number 5: John was definitely about to make a Move on Sherlock during the stag night and that was the perfect time to do it

I sincerely hope this idea only extends to fiction (because I don't want to be one of these "if you support this in fiction you support it in real life too!!! people) but if it does not, hopefully none of these people ever become someone's Best Person at the wedding if they think seducing the groom right before a wedding is a good idea. Do they think John was about to make a move and if it didn't work just Mary marry anyway as a consolation prize? Do they think that's what happened in TSO3? We or John had no idea she was an assassin yet, so that would be really shitty.

Number 6: John lied about being bisexual

He didn't. The only way this would be true is if someone asked John if he's bisexual and he said no. Unless you think John being closeted and potentially hiding the truth about his sexuality and being purposefully vague about it is lying. It's not.

Number 7: Mycroft believed Sherlock was about to kiss John in front of Mary when asking for time alone

This one is just strange. A confession is one thing, especially if you are not directly confessing. But why would Sherlock do this? He was going to his death and had nothing to lose? Why would he do it in front of Mary? And Mycroft? And the other agents who I think were also still there? Why? Was he sure John would kiss him back? Did he even care?

Miscellaneous: John didn't want Sherlock looking at his laptop because he has a bunch of Gay Porn there

Or... because it's an invasion of privacy? This one isn't Problematic, it's just a stretch.

[sevarix-blogs]

your debating post might just be about fandom stuff but i was thinking this about myself earlier today too!! like!! okay!!! i don't have the spoons to look up fucking sources to try to educate / counter the transphobic propaganda this family friend has fallen for! i'll just know to avoid them forever and not trust them again! i know these things you're saying about trans people are untrue! but if i say that and they ask how i know! i don't! / i just do! hdgfhfdg you can reply privately if you don't want this on your blog

YEAH that was partly on my mind when i wrote that post as well. bc i have to 'debate' my parents about why drag queens are harmless, actually. and why certain far-right -wing politicians are fascist. (one time my dad told me to define what 'fascist' meant as if i was using the term w/o knowing its definition 🙄) and like. i do not have the energy for that. i wish they would take my word for it but that's not how debating works. debating is just so exhausting i never have the spoons for it. especially when they parrot propaganda they hear on foxnews.

it's so frustrating. it makes you left feeling like no one understands you. it makes you feel so invalidated. not everyone has the ability to debate!!! some of us are extremely mentally fatigued all the time!!!!! expecting people to Always Debate on behalf of themselves is messed up tbh.

with fandom stuff too. like i shouldn't have to debate why i like dimitri. it's not bc i'm desperately in love with him or w/e the haters think these days. i just think he's a nice character. deal with it.

but especially with transphobic propaganda. like it goes deeper with that. bc i feel like i am defending my right to exist. and i get all these stupid points thrown back at me like 'well you pass, why are you worried?' (as if worrying for others is not a valid reason to be concerned!!!!!!)

i was seriously SHOCKED when my mom was angry at target and bud light. bc she was angry that they gave in to the bigots!!! she was like 'they should stand up for what they believe in, and not give in to the bullies!' and i just like had to pick my jaw up off the floor i was so shocked. my mom who thinks drag queens are problematic said that bud light shouldn't be attacked for using a transwoman to advertise for them.

i was relieved that SOME of my 'debate' points got through to her. but it took a ton of work. work that i shouldn't even have to put in 😭

[flashdyke]

a lot of lesbian blogs talk about lesbianism and fighting for rights and in general, external things. but what about internal? how do you deal with the shame that comes with experiencing homophobia and knowing how much you could lose (family, friends, comfort in love like holding your girls hand anywhere in public..) ? what's your mindset behind this? thank you (๑╹ω╹๑ )

My mindset is that because I understand, "Lesbians are natural, healthy, and equally entitled to express love and be respected" as a principle, I have it as a structure to apply to myself or anyone else.

A big part of how I know that is that I just got to be raised the right way. The fact that lesbians are normal and worthy of respect is not something I've had to find out later on, but I have reinforced it by choosing to invest my time in learning about lesbian culture and history, and choosing to maintain the perspective that these are things of value.

It's also reinforced by seeing how and why this confuses other people. Non-lesbians are so confused, even enraged, by the idea that lesbianism is a natural, fully-formed sexuality, and that those of us who were able to develop this way find any worth in ourselves, each other and our subculture. They ask, "Why?" and in turn you can ask, "Why not?" and not automatically accept the starter position that lesbians and lesbian culture don't have value, at which point you find that there are no intelligent, non-bigoted reasons to think that way in the first place.

Then, how you handle the lesbophobia you may be exposed to becomes a matter of how you want to match up the knowledge that you are objectively entitled to respect and understanding with how much you value the source of the problem (family, religious beliefs, law) and what you have at your disposal to deal with it. If your family does not love you enough to accept completely harmless facets of you just because they're unusual, why on earth should they expect that you "love" (obey) them enough to crush yourself down like that? If what they've done for you as family was an act of love, why would they want to?

But again, it will depend on how each woman values these things. Woman X may be prepared to leave her family or her whole country, and she might have the money to do it or she might not. Woman Y may be ok with her parents thinking her wife is her flatmate. Woman Z may choose to invent a god that actually has morals, instead of pursuing the volatile and abusive ones that are popular. Those are not decisions I would make, and in this context they're not decisions I've had to make. I would just hope that those decisions are made with a genuine conviction in their right to happiness and safety as lesbians playing a serious role.

The main internal difficulty I've had is kind of shallow compared to those things, and is just accepting how much I am physically attracted to women, and kind of how I feel in my body in relation to that. That's largely been a matter of Just Doing It, and writing in my diary a lot. When something started to niggle at me, I'd just write it out in my private space, so that I'm used to talking about the feelings I have for women, and I can reason out the little neuroses I get about whether I look or behave 'normally' - and then I apply the principles that I have, and I see how it is perfectly natural and healthy to really, really, really, really like having sex with other women and to not behave exactly according to stereotype etc. And that in turn is helped by the investment in lesbian culture and seeing other women also talk about the same things.

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

i'm sorry, i know this is ranty but i just. am i the only one dealing with this?

tw mention of sexual harassment

every time i call out transphobes, i get sexually harassed! like i'm talking since i was sixteen, i'd get grown-ass people in my dms, on anons or even just straight out to my face, either blatantly sexually harassing me, or infantalizing me in a vaguely sexual way or even like? referencing how i must be a sexual being? just for being trans? and calling people out on transphobia?

and i'm just. i don't understand why it happens because i've sure as fuck never been remotely sexual toward ANY of these people in ANY manner and it's so frustrating? i don't get why it's happening. i'm eighteen now so apparently i can't call them pedophiles anymore even if that's STILL what it feels like and i'm just. at a loss. apparently it doesn't count as sexual harassment if i'm eighteen! apparently it didn't count before! apparently that's just an appropriate way to respond to someone calling you a bigot! apparently i'm overreacting! i don't know. i'm sorry for putting this in your inbox, i just know a lot of trans people talk about transphobia on your blog(which is very refreshing btw, especially the way some of y'all break it down) and i just wondered if maybe any of you got what i'm dealing with.

I’m so, so sorry that happened to you ❤️ they absolutely do have a habit of sexualising and sexually harassing people who call them out. I’ve had it happen to me a couple of times but I think they tend to do it more to teenagers to try and intimidate them, which is really vile.

[soupforblood]

INTRO ->

name: soup!

age: 19, 20 in the fall :]

identity stuff: they/them pref but anything other than it is okay! afab enby, queer, acespec. sfw age regressor!!

dni: UNDER 18 IN DMS, UNDER 16 IN GENERAL. transphobic, homophobic, blah blah blah don't be a bigot here. I don't agree w truscum or tucutes but I believe you should focus on your own happiness and if something makes you happy you should do it. fatphobia is NOT tolerated, EDs aren't always inherently fatphobic as some are started from a need of control, please don't interact if you post stuff that makes fat seem like a dirty word. I know we're all disordered and ill, but fat people aren't disgusting and theyre not to blame for how we are.

I do NOT endorse eating disorders and I'm not going to be a "coach" or talk about my methods of hurting myself here, nor will I be posting body pics publicly. I got my methods from Tumblr, I know how this game goes. I will not be someone's resource blog.

I deal with arfid that's caused by my autism I think?? and I'm not sure if arfid can coexist with bul!m!a but I think it does in me :( and has since I was very young. I have bpd! and my self image issues when it started sprouting when I was 14 caused me to start b/p cycles the make my bf at the time like me more, he very much fetished it and fueled it. I was in recovery for awhile and had a major relapse with b/p cycles and I've given up recovery.

sw: 136

gw: 100

ugw: 95

[sanyawaffles950]

I apologize, this gets a bit deep. I've tried to tag it appropriately.

I mentioned on Twitter a few months ago I got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. In my case, it combines psychosis symptoms with bouts of depression and anxiety.

My mental state has been overall better, but sometimes I have bad moments.

This week has been rough for me.

For one, been dealing with a minor raid on the public Waffle Iron Studios server involving someone we had to ban. You can see it happen from a distance, but when it's part of your daily life, it slows you down a bit.

The other major bit is all that's going on in the world. I've never seen the world so chaotic and divided over shit that should be fucking common sense. It makes me wonder what's just my brain being fucky... or what's actually going on in the world.

Trauma processing and medicine helps... but it can't fix the world.

I can fix myself over time... but I can't fix other people. And it's not random goobers... it's my friends and colleagues, who are the family I have now.

... but they're so far away from me for Christmas.

I admit, I'm spiritual. I dunno if calling me "religious" fits. I believe in a higher power, and I try to follow Christ - but I refuse to believe the other dogmatic shit some Christians tout. I don't talk much about my faith because I don't want people to think I'm on par with these "Christian Nationalist" types. I have no problem with any other faith or lack of faith as long as they are respectful of each other and aren't bigoted.

This Christmas, it's been hard. My best friend faces abuse from her neighbor... I miss visiting her, but it's not been viable for a multitude of reasons.

... how does one care without being clingy and forceful and a worrywart?

Also, with my car in the doghouse so to speak, I can't go far for Christmas. And unexpected expenses keeps popping up.

Yet I try to have faith things are okay - but I don't just try to have faith, I work on what I can in the process. Grandpa always said... pray like Hell, work like Hell.

The irony in that statement is twofold... he was a Christian and that was his wording of that phrase... also so many people don't follow that in practice. My gripe with some people is they pray for miracles and the minute the miracle happens, they dismiss it.

... back to my mental health, my brain is fuzzy. A lot. It's a constant noise, almost like having a TV in the background in the 90s - static overlay and reception and all.

I apologize for dumping this on my blog, but... I just want people to know. And I guess this is how I can let people know without doing so in DMs.

If you believe in that sort of thing, please pray for me and my friends. Especially my friends. They deserve happiness.

[axehits]

❝ they messed us up pretty good,

                                                              didn’t they? ❞

• low act. priv. sel. & headcanon based johanna mason from thg. some canon divergence, disclaimer

                                                                            ➼ penned by tide

‣ gonna try to keep this short and sweet, but oh, do i love decorating and personalizing things when i can. i decided to come back to tumblr rpc after dipping my foot in here and there in other fandoms and eventually disappearing, before the hunger games got slapped onto netflix and my ass got the brainrot for this bitch. finding a server on discord is so ― meh right now and i’m seeing a surge in activity here with thg so thought id give it a go! gives me space to indulge in my hcs and see other people’s interpretations, too!

Ⅰ. i’m very tired so i don’t want to type a whole lot, but basic interactions rules: no forcing interactions or anything upon me or the character in a way she wouldnt act. do not try to control her either, in any way. of course, no godmodding. i hope and trust most people out here are human beings and can manage handling bare minimum boundaries over the internet.

Ⅱ. please DO NOT INTERACT if you are any type of bigot dealing out hate, you are not welcome here at all. this goes for homophobia, transphobia, sexism, anti-semitism, everything else unnecessarily hating on anyone else. out out out!! there will be no confrontation with this. refer to rule 4!

Ⅲ. this blog might be a guinea pig to style development and changes in the future, depending on how attached i get to playing her here. but for now, i don’t really have time or the energy to do it. for now, the most i may do is format posts or slap icons on every now and then, but i will make sure it’s not hindering in reading and replying! it’s a peeve of mine, no matter how pretty they are</3

Ⅳ. this is for me and my personal enjoyment. as i write this, i’m a very stressed individual who barely takes time to do things they love. writing is one of them. i want to keep this space as drama-free and away from uncomfortable feelings as possible and just type and enjoy my character. i may be very picky with who i interact with and whatnot but my activity will also be VERY spotty, especially at times of school as i’m still a student.

Ⅴ. speaking of being a student, the owner of this blog is currently a minor. though i will be turning eighteen soon i’d still rather have this as precaution because weirdos are out there and also people may want to veer away from me because of that and that’s fine! i want to be comfortable and you do too.

Ⅵ. basic wrap-up: my writing style is literate paragraphs and i tend to mirror, but here i may do one liners if i’m tired. i’m gonna stick to all lowercase for now, subject to change in the future.

Ⅶ. knowing the hunger games, and considering the fact that i write in detail, there WILL be triggering material on here and i will do my best to tag that for you. trig w: (ex.) will be the tag, and whatever content may take place here will be tagged accordingly.

Ⅷ. please just for the love of god dont be an asshole and write with me, johanna needs therapy and so do i but we both found out it isn’t free<3

[nitpickrider]

I saw your reblog where you admitted you were wrong about something, and I have to say that you are the bravest and strongest person on the internet. Especially since the person who was responding to you was not being kind at all, which only makes it that much harder to not dig your heels in. I deal with fatphobes constantly on this fat positive blog, so many bigots just spouting absolute ignorance and pure hatred for fat people, to the point that I prickle like a porcupine in response now and am not nice at all when I respond to their messages and reblogs. I give them the facts and studies, but I am not nice when I do. It's hard to be nice when someone literally wants you to die. And of course no fatphobe I have ever had the displeasure of talking to has ever changed their mind or admitted they were wrong. I've given up on that ever happening. So I was completely shocked seeing you have the capacity to admit to being wrong about something and am hoping that someday maybe more people will have that ability too.

Let me tell you something my friend, a couple things even. 1) I'm not brave, or strong. I'm an idiot who happened to stumble into committing to the one basic principle of being a functioning human. I adapted to new information and changed my stances and opinions as such. I'm nobody's hero. I'm a so-so would be english teacher struggling through my own shit one day at a time. I should not be an exception. I should be an expectation. 2) Do not coddle bigots and idiots in an attempt to change their minds. They *do not* deserve it. Getting taken out behind the wood shed and shown that I was a moron in no uncertain terms was actually what got me to click in and self reflect. Meet ignorance in strong terms, ESPECIALLY in your case. If they won't come around, that's their loss. Not yours. They failed to take new information and change. You failed at nothing. You succeed every day by persevering in being your beautiful. Wonderful. one of a kind self.