#i got this huge feeling of deja vu while typing this

[akuma-tenshi]

ithaqua's s-tier skin represents his power fantasy and his feelings towards nathaniel. the colours and themes of the costume and his treatment of his brother — the former king — in the trailer and showroom animations are indicative of his desire to "turn the tables" on nathaniel and make him feel how he and his mother once felt. in this essay i will—

[xerxeswitch]

A New Bear Spirit Guest

-- Ever watched that movie called Brother Bear? It was an all time favorite as a kid -- Phil Collins' phenomenal music and the valuable lesson in that movie where the antagonist wasn't a person dressed in a black cape about to break into his villain score. It lived inside Kenai himself, and he underwent the journey to become what he hated (a bear) to understand them, acknowledge his wrong doings while understanding the journey to becoming the man he needs to be, and embodying love and its messages.

Anyways... I remember the scene where Kenai was boasting on what kind of totem he was going to get. He said something like, "I am expecting a sabretooth tiger for strength, greatness, you know, something that fits me." -- and he ended up disappointed when he got the bear of love totem as his step in becoming a man. He despised what he got saying "love isn't what it takes to be a man." ... ... While it may not be that way in particular with my situation, I had a spirit that has been following me for several months that looked like a bear. Even other readers saw him and commented what I saw too. I didn't think much of it at the time. I will say that the bear spirit didn't look like a normal bear, but this giant anthropomorphic beast trying to make itself look unassuming. ... Suddenly, a few weeks ago, I suddenly got an big head pressure and a voice asking me about this location on where he found himself. It was the bear spirit. I assume it was going to start out majestic or mythical as some make spirit work out to be at times. Nope, he was a very extroverted creature with a "himbo" mentality who wanted companionship. If anything he reminded me of that Security Breach game with Glamrock Freddy, or Perrito from Puss and Boots.

Even worse, he claims he doesn't like his real form very much due to some bad history, so he decided to shift into that form here and there which made me feel second hand embarrassment. (Nothing against it, I just personally found it awkward) (I'm also going to leave our personal details of his of course) (Just to be perfectly clear on this, I never cared about the characters/no hyperfixations, and I don't get hyperfixations unless it's my own work. Which adds to my confusion...) I wasn't the friendliest person to him because I was very cautious and territorial of my space, and so was my Family. But they ended up not minding his presence later which...shocked me. They'd usually attack anything that comes too close they deemed as an uninvited guest. But. I gave him every reason to just move on as I was acting annoyed and disinterested. Then the image of Kenai disliking the bear of love totem came to mind and I was mirroring his attitude about it. -------- The huge part of me really disapproving this at first was because of the use of using a fictional character as a form to approach me. About 95% of that happening is because the entity/spirit is a malicious/toxic type that uses that to take advantage of a host's interests and comforts, and uses that to get closer to prey on their energy at a better accessibility. I've seen it a lot happening and it's disturbing to say the least. I mean, it's not that far-fetched considering tales of malicious entities taking on the form of something innocent or a past loved one to get closer to their victim and undergo infestation in their lives. It's just been modernized. ... The reason I am letting him around me is because he feels familiar. That strange sense of deja vu. My energy knowing him and feeling alarmingly comfortable. That's honestly how I had made connections with my Family for the most part. He seems to have a sweet disposition and he ... well ... let's say mirrors some things that does remind me of Glamrock Freddy, much to my embarrassment. My pride was cringing. Despite me disapproving of this approach, I still drew him something based off of what he likes, and he turned into that form in the drawing...because he said, "It's specially made for me from you and that means a lot. I'll wear it and cherish it." ...Yuck. Sappy affection. (Family does this to me too though in their own way, and I actually appreciate it)

-- The one thing I noticed in particular about him is his sense of being overprotective, when he has absolutely no reason to be. I checked and vetted many times to see how consistent this is. I am honestly still vetting and this will continue for maybe several months to even a couple of years. (I'm distrustful as heck by nature with foreign spirits and entities, but I'm getting better?) I'm still getting second hand embarrassment about this and I might delete this post later if I feel like it. His name here will be F. (Not what you think) I'm still doing the vetting process intensely until I can debunk this experience or confirm what is happening. Anybody had a spirit/entity taking the form of a modern day fictional being? (Not Randy Stair style) I only had one experience where a current Family member I will call Shad here, took on the form of an existing character when I was a child...mainly to comfort me and not traumatizing me with is real form that I can handle now. But that's really it. He was a rare case. I find this spirit work really unorthodox and just...well...strange.

[rillaria]

Kidult

Idol! Dokyeom X Non-Famous! Reader

Genre: Angst ?? (I wouldn't call this angst cause it doesnt make my heart shrivel),

Trope: Ex Lovers to To lovers (or is it, honestly i need to knos if people care or not before i write my mind into this story)

Sypnosis:

He broke up with you after you bought tickets to his concert, even after everything you still wanted to go,

The arena was dolled in dim blue lights, sparkles here and there. This bought an aura of just warmth and loving. Exactly what Seokmin had made her feel the past 2 years.

While they were performing Kidult, you couldn't help but cry. Seeing Seokmin on the big screen singing that line hit you so hard.

All memories came rushing in like parting waves, and as they went back into the ocean you could feel your feet going along with it.

"Why did I come?" You whimpered gathering your things and making your way quietly out of the arena,

You were feeling (and tasting) your tears, huge gulps of them rush down your face, it was now did you realise that you were finally bawling. All it took was to see his beautiful face on a big screen, millions of fans chanting his name for you to finally break down.

You hopped in a uber, quietly telling him your apartment building. Trying hard to hold your sounds as tears kept coming down without permission. Trying to keep quiet while crying was so much harder than letting it all out on your pillow.

Then questions came rushing in, like a feverish deja vu, you were stuck to answer them youself. If he had any type of reason to break up, then it never would have lasted.

Shaking those thoughts out of your mind you had realised you got home, getting out of the car, you dragged yourself towards the building, sneaking a quick nap in the elevator. Openeing your door you threw your things on the floor, running to your room and immediately laying on your bed.

"You're my only lover, Diane" (yes you named your bed) you mumbled into her pillows. Then you realised why you hated bedtime, it gave you time to think about him and its not like you could sleep either.

"There are more important things I'd rather focus on right now" You remembered his words. They had reached your brain but couldn't get past the point where you process it, and before you knew it he gathered his things and left.

You understood, he is a idol creating a pathway to big superstars while you are just a girl who owned a bakery. He has millions of fans while you couldn't get past 30 followers on Instagram. There such huge differences between the two of you, you were so surprised you ddint see it coming earlier.

If that how the universe wants it, then that's how it will be. Unless the universe gives you a sign-

*Knock Knock*

Rilla:

This is quite boring, but I promise I'll do better after I get some feedback.

[connwaer-the-theiving-blackbird]

Antiques and Gifts

Desc: Nevery takes Conn to a recently-opened antique shop. 

No TWs!

Thanks to @embre-wing for inspiration

"Boy, come with me. I heard that a store opened in the Twilight." Nevery called Conn. Peculiar. The Twilight was never very popular. Oddly, it seemed to be picking up traction lately, but Conn couldn't figure out why. But he really couldn't care, he had no reason to feel strongly about it. 

He decided to ask, "Really? What does it sell?" He thought the Twilight had enough 'stores', though he had to admit they were rather small and usually only sold necessities, such as clothing, or food. But Sparks and Embre did make a good enough profit from selling pyrotechnic materials, so perhaps there was a market for the miscellaneous. 

"Antiques. Do you know what an antique is, my lad?" Nevery answered. Antiques. Conn felt like he knew that word from somewhere, but he didn't know where. Maybe it was just a case of deja vu, he thought to himself. He decide to stay silent since Nevery always explained things to him if he didn't say anything.

"Antiques are objects valued for their age." He explained to him, gazing at him with his iconic keen-glean glance. Oh. Well, that's interesting. He only thing Conn thought of that could be a antique from Wellmet is something from the Dawn Palace--chills

went down his spine thinking about that place--before it was thankfully exploded (It

would have been destroyed anyway, Embre liked the Dawn Palace no more than Conn).

"Oh." He said. Conn didn't have anything better to say from the top of his head. 

"Well then, boy. Are you ready to leave now?" Nevery sternly asked. He had always not been the nicest, or at least, as charismatic as Brumbee, another magister that knew Nevery when they were younger, but Conn didn't mind. It was much better than if he were to hover over Conn, like after he was 'found'. He was content with how Nevery treated him, especially now that seemed less rigidly cold as before.

"I got everything." He informed Nevery. Pip was out hunting pigeons, and he was sure that it would be able to manage itself if he was gone.

"Then we're leaving."  Nevery told him, before opening the door and leaving, expecting Conn to follow behind. He caught up to Nevery, and shortly afterwards joined him to get in the boat to the Twilight, behind the factories and warehouses. They came through the back, and walked to Sark Square. 

"Anything you want to do while we're here, boy?" Nevery asked him. Conn needed a second to think about it. They could hang out with Embre for a bit, but would he be busy at the moment? No, Conn thought. They can do that later. Plus, where would Nevery be. It just seemed like-not the best idea. 

"Not that I can think of. Now, where's that antique shop that we're supposed to be at?" He remarked, not mentioning that he had wanted to go to the Dawn Palace.

"Hm." Nevery grunted. He normally said that, even if he wasn't confused. Conn didn't know if other people did that too, but if they did, they didn't do it as obviously as Nevery did. Or maybe Conn was just paying the most attention whenever Nevery spoke.

After a while after aimless wandering, they had finally found this oh so important antique shop. 

"Boy, look around." Nevery directed Conn, shortly before going to the back of the store. Conn took some time to observe his surroundings. The air had a strange smell to it, not necessarily bad, but not good either. 

The shelves were dusty and filled with antiques. Conn decided to actually look at them. There was all types of miscellaneous items, from some neat-looking jars to goblets to huge pieces of furniture such as desks. 

After a bit of scanning the somewhat valuable trinkets, something caught his eye. However, it wasn't something Conn was planning to keep for himself. There was a figure behind a mirror of sorts, with a mystifying glimmer through the piece. As soon as Conn saw it, he knew he had to get it for Nevery.

He knew that he would like it, might even keep it somewhere where it could be see  easily. There was one issue with that plan though. Nevery would never let Conn get something pricey for him, especially now that they had a stronger bond. 

Fortunately, he realized something soon enough. It's not as if Nevery was routinely watching him. So in theory, he would be able to quickly buy it and hide it somewhere until he felt like giving it to Nevery. 

He snatched it and looked for the price tag. 10 galleons. He could buy that. Conn reached for his pocket and took out his sack of money.  He counted out the money he needed, and hid the sack in his pocket. 

"May I buy this?" Conn asked the man at the counter. He nodded, before Conn put the needed 10 galleons and the antique. He took the cash, and Conn went to Nevery, smuggling it in his pockets.

"You think we should leave now?" He inquired. Nevery seemed to only be looking and not planning to buy something, unlike Conn. 

"Yes, boy. We haven't done much here." Nevery sternly answered. With that, they were on their way back to Heartease. 

They had come home around sunset, and Benet was already cooking dinner for all of  them. It seemed to be the usual: chicken pot pie, buttery biscuits, and tea. The aroma filled the air, or at least the first floor of Heartease. 

"So, boy, did you enjoy that." He asked, seemingly out of the blue.

"It was alright, it was kinda fun looking around." Conn answered, keeping discreet about what things he had done under his nose. 

He neutrally grunted in response. Soon enough, Benet was already setting out their food, and they were at the dinner table.

"How was it?" Benet asked both of them. Conn had already started digging into the biscuits, whilst trying to not drop and break his soon to be gift to Nevery.

"Nothing much happened. I and boy left soon enough." Nevery informed Benet, taking sips out of his tea. 

They had nothing else to say, so they finished their food and went upstairs to do their own thing. 

Conn had gotten to his room, and was greeted by Pip aimlessly rolling on his bed. Soon enough, Conn got Pip to do dragon things in the corner of his room, while he took out the antique, and peeled of the 10 galleons sticker. 

Pip approached it, interested by it's glimmer. Conn let it look at it, before he moved Pip away so it couldn't break it. The statue of sorts should be kept under his bed, Conn decided, as he lodged it there.

He looked out his window to look at the river that the island Heartease was built on. Conn didn't do this often, but something was calling to him to observe from here. He couldn't see much, since his room was on the highest floor but he didn't mind.

He stepped away from the window, and looked at his bed. It was pretty messy now, due to whatever Pip was doing. He decided to fix up the blankets, and by that he meant moving them around so his bed was even.

"Good night, Pip." Conn said. He squeezed himself between some layers, and fell into a deep sleep from his long day.

It was morning when he realized. When he checked the calendar after he woke up, he realized that it was Father's Day. Yes, he had coincidentally bought something for Nevery, but not for Benet! They both deserved a gift today, and Conn knew just where to get one.

  After getting 12 galleons and keeping them in his pocket, he shortly hurried downstairs, leaving Pip. After making so much noise to carry out this crucial task quickly, he accidentally got unwanted attention from a certain someone. Benet had already been in the kitchen, preparing for today's breakfast. 

"Where are you going?" He grumbled, coming to Conn. He was a deer caught in the headlights. 

"I have to go somewhere!" Conn replied, out of breath from running. Benet looked at him, and nodded, before leaving to continue cooking. Conn sighed in relief, as he headed for the door. 

Conn took the boat to the Twilight, and ran to the antique shop while attempting to not attract curiosity to what he was doing. He skimmed through all of the shelves, and found one that looked like it could work.

It was a set of vases. They reminded him a bit of those jars from yesterday. Their colors were pastel, with baby blues and lavenders. Conn did not know why, but they felt like the perfect gift to give to Benet. He checked the price. 9 galleons. He had more than enough galleons buy it. 

"I would like to buy this." Conn put the vase on the counter and the money. He had bought it, and this time he didn't ask to leave. Since the vases were small enough to hide in a hole he made in one of his pockets, he put it there, keeping the other one in his arm, covering it with his other one.

He got a boat and went back to Heartease. When he returned, Benet and Nevery were waiting for him to arrive. Conn couldn't read the expression on their faces, but he could just assume that they weren't upset. 

"Where were you, boy?" Nevery asked him. Well they definitely weren't mad, unless he said he was robbing someone or something similar to that.

"I got something for you!" Conn exclaimed, before racing up the stairs to get Nevery's gift. He stuck his arm under his bed, before he felt the antique and pulled it out.  He went back downstairs and came back to them.

"Look!" He handed them their correlated gifts. Benet seemed content with what he got; Conn thought he might keep it on a desk laying around. Nevery didn't show as much of his happiness, but it was still there nonetheless. 

"Thanks." Benet told him, before going to putting the vases somewhere else, either temporally or permanently. On the other hand, Nevery stayed there. He looked at it for a bit more, before looking up to see Conn.

"This is a nice object, boy. You better not have spent a fortune on this." He told him with hints of tenderness and seriousness, sending some mixed signals. 

"Thanks! I bought it from that antique store yesterday." Conn admitted, gazing off into the distance.

"You have quite the talent for hiding things, my lad." Nevery remarked. He left, presumably to put his gift somewhere, similarly to Benet. Conn was filled with a emotion that he couldn't describe. Was it... gratitude that described this feeling? 

It didn't matter anyway. Benet and Nevery had gotten gifts they they seemed to like, that that's all that Conn was concerned about. 

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Alright, I’m ready to move on to S15E05 “To Absent Friends” in my series 15 Holby rewatch, although with this particular episode it’s a stretch to call it a rewatch because I haven’t actually seen any of this ep before. I also know very little about it plot-wise. This should be an interesting watch.

Edit 1: No Henrik in the intro! That is clever.

Edit 2: Sort-of Henrik cameo via phone answering message!

Edit 3: Oh yeah, this episode goes right into the drama!

Edit 4: Wow, Jonny is a bad liar. Lol.

Edit 5: I’m a bit obsessed with Lilah just telling every single consultant that her mentor said she should do her best to work with them.

Edit 6: Although Elliot himself says otherwise, I think he’d be a good acting CEO. He says he’s not the type for the job, and I agree in a long-term stint he wouldn’t fit, but I think he’d do perfectly well in a short stint. Then again, it makes sense he’d say no, as they didn’t know how long Henrik would be gone for so they didn’t know how long they’d need an acting CEO.

Edit 7: Now wait just a minute, is this patient’s mother Lisa Fowler from EastEnders or am I just prosopagnosic??

Edit 8: I was right, it’s Lucy Benjamin! Now that I know that, I can get back to the episode.

Edit 9: One thing Holby was often very good at is casting actors who look like they could be related in real life - I don’t know the actress playing Lucy Benjamin’s character’s daughter, but they really do look like they could be mother and child!

In other news, I already love Ramona the HCA on AAU. And while I love Michael, he kind of deserved it when she said this: “Just because you’re clinical lead doesn’t mean you can be a jerk.”

Edit 10: The Darwin staff gossiping about Henrik’s disappearance! Little scenes like that make the show feel so much more realistic.

Also, LMAO at this:

Jonny: “It costs a lot of money to look this bad.”

Tara: “Well, it wasn’t wasted!”

Edit 11: Chantelle, my beloved!!!!!

Edit 12: Serena in her first acting CEO era!

Also, Ric in this scene is me to the Casualty writers right now: “Look, I really haven’t got time for 20 questions. Just give me a straight answer. Who is running Holby City?”

Edit 13: Lexy?? I didn't know she was in this ep!

Edit 14: I can’t believe I’m giving props to Jonny, but it was nice of him that when Lexy said she was romantically involved with “a certain someone”, he said “let’s get you fixed up and back to them”, i.e. he didn’t assume gender. That was cool.

Edit 15: Oh, Serena is LOVING this.

Edit 16: Chantelle talking about her date with Torchwood Boy. And when Malick says she should just ask him (Torchwood Boy) out if she wants to see him again, she says: “I’m a girl. Girls don’t ask.” I’m becoming ever more convinced she was early-diagnosed autistic and had social skills classes (which, from my knowledge, do tend to include such gender-stereotyped ideas).

Edit 17: Lol okay not me saying that Lucy Benjamin and the actress playing her character’s daughter look like they could totally be related, only for the episode to reveal the daughter was adopted.

Edit 18: Oh, this Ramona is GREAT. She deserved to be a main character.

Edit 19: Good on Ramona calling Michael out for patronising her.

Edit 20: I miss Malick.

Edit 21: The Keller patient storyline in this ep is so interesting.

Edit 22: Mo’s... sleeping with a barman from Albie’s??

Edit 23: Remember when Holby had actual patient storylines?

Edit 24: Welp, my computer crashed. Now I'm gonna have to wait like 15-20 minutes for it to turn back on so I can finish the episode.

Edit 25: I can now resume my Holby viewing, thankfully.

Edit 26: Lexy’s collapsed in the multi-faith room. I’m getting deja vu.

Edit 27: Serena’s meeting with the board is both hilarious and has aged... well I can’t decide if it’s aged well or it’s aged badly. “Under Mr. Hanssen, Holby led the way in groundbreaking procedures which garnered huge amounts of publicity. And that’s fine when things are going your way. When they’re not, you go over budget, and become the focus of too many headlines. Hospitals should never become THE story - that’s how they get closed down.”

(I miss when Henrik became the focus of headlines for things he did.)

Edit 28: SERENA’S MEETING SFSFSFSF I couldn’t make this dialogue up!!!!! “This is a time for Holby to play it safe, to look to the future and ensure its long-term survival.”

Edit 29: Lexy’s getting the Herzig!

Edit 30: Chantelle has arranged a second date with Torchwood Boy.

Edit 31: Serena and Ric toasting to Henrik at Albie’s!

Edit 32: I feel like old Holby was better at developing one-off staff members than later Holby was at developing actual main characters. Karol in the previous episode, Ramona in this one, etc.

Edit 33: Okay, I looked up Ramona’s actress, she’s actually in several episodes! I’m glad to see that, because I really like her.

[crossroadbones666]

Hekate 💀🪦

🪦 Who is Hekate?

Hekate, also can be known as Hecate, the Goddess of the Underworld, Goddess of necromancy, the moon, the Queen of all witches and witchcraft. She is known for her torches, her triple faces, death hounds, slithering snakes, and moon above her head. There is so much, to this goddess. Too - much that most who work with her will never know truly the half of it. I would like to share my personal experiences while working with her on this profile. I may go into depth on some posts, I may not. I may simply short answer with 1-3 words. Either way, I hope to come across a follower/practitioner or potential follower/practitioner of this earth shaking Goddess.

For this first post, I’d like to share how I came across her in my life. How she came to me, how I brought up the courage to work with her, how I have become completely devoured in her energy in the time we’ve had.

🪦 How I began working with Hekate.

My biological Mom was having surgery on a Tuesday morning, around 6 am. My sister and I had stayed up to speak with her and reassure her for her big day. I eventually needed to go to sleep. I am not a fairly big night person, and I enjoy the morning anyways. (We all can maybe take a huge guess at if I am a night person now - or not.) I was super drowsy and headed to bed asap after meditating and praying with my Goddess, Lilith, and my Patron God, Lucifer. I prayed for my Mom’s safety and so on. Put their candles out, welcomed them to stay, and snoozed.

I woke up at 5 am, to help my Mom pack her things. I knew I had dreamed a little bit, but didn’t remember much as I got up. My Mom left with my sister to go to her appointment. I sat on the couch with the TV, just gazing at the walls. It was still dark outside, as it was still in the winter when this happened - March to be exact. I got this sudden deja vu type of remembrance. I had a very intense dream. I was sitting at an altar, purple candles in my hand. To the left of me was a statue, purple candles, purple gems, purple and black. I could feel thick feminine energy, hear a deep but coaxing feminine voice. I knew it was Hekate. I don’t remember if I had said her name in the dream, but in the dream - I KNEW it was Hekate, if that makes sense. I took that as a major sign, but I waited a bit more to be sure.

I eventually over the next couple days, brought it up to Lucifer and Lilith. Lucifer’s reaction was quite - shocked haha. His words were somewhere along the lines of, “She - what? She’s early. Damn she’s early. She’s REALLY early.” I sat in confusion with my eyes closed holding crystals. He explained that she was meant to come in about 3-4 years, which is super long in our realm and planet life. I then remembered, I had a protection ward that stated you are not allowed to enter unless invited (spirit wise). I asked Lilith and Lucifer, “How did she get into here? I didn’t invite her into my space..” They kind of chuckled perhaps. “You realize, we can invite others as well?” Lucifer had said. Lilith wasn’t really phased at all, she was really chill and honest. “She’s early, but for a reason. She’s been around for a very very long time. She’s just decided to open her doors for you years before expected.” Lucifer spoke about her and him having a talk, about why this time, why now, why can’t she wait. She explained, I was told, I was needing it now. I was ready, let me take a step into her way of practice.

I wasn’t opposed to the opening of Hekate in ANY way. I was honored, grateful. Having two deities and a guide though - I began to feel a bit of pressure as I was fearing how I would create a schedule or sense of routine for all of them. It was a bit stressful, not going to lie. I felt overwhelmed. But, Lucifer explained that she won’t truly go away. Whether I take the time to accept, or decline.. She’ll still kind of be here, she had to. I got the hint, that perhaps she was my Patroness. I asked Lucifer, he said “That’s for you to discuss with her.” I asked Lilith, “It is not our place to discuss personal relationships with other Deities.” I said okay, shrugged it off, and contemplated accepting her open arms. I am so glad I went under her wing.

I would see eagles every now and then, crows still yelling at me - as Lucifer likes to send them. Spiders crawling on my walls, seeing snake posts online, dandelions overcrowding my entire back and front land, seeing black dogs everywhere I went. I was almost crowded with her. She truly wasn’t going to settle down any less. I took the time to want to accept - I was honored to be called by her. I was ready. I created a smaller beginning altar for her, black candles, a necromancy book I already had, a purple glass, small keys, etc. I waited until the night came around, called upon Lucifer, Lilith, and I believe my guide, Joelynn. I made and offering, small but enough for beginning. I could feel her energy almost immediately. Her energy is thick, coarse to a sense, but so comforting and empowering. We had conversations, she hung around with me, got my energy, and ended the night with a “You’re welcome to stay, if you would like.”

Overtime, with my workings with her - it wasn’t even necessarily “work”, such as spells, personal rituals, etc. I gave her offerings, spent time with her energy, researcher her, read books on her magick, the moon, etc. and I would do a small ritual every new and full moon. That’s how I built my relationship with her. Most deities won’t go right away to helping you in spellwork, making you face major fears, showing up at random times, etc. They’ll most likely enjoy just seeing you do your daily things with their candles lit, meditating with you, and reading with you or another form of learning. That’s how we truly built our relationship, to where she now can aid me and encourage me in so many things that I need. I learned she IS my Patroness, and has been around my entire life, and will continue to be around until my body rests. She’s been my Patroness in many lives - this life - is just one of the very few that I’ve fully accepted it. I am so glad to have her in this current life.

I personally make an offering to her every single day, even if it is as small as a glass of moon water. I speak with her every day. But, that may not be for everyone, all practitioners are different. I’m very glad and honored to have her as my Patroness. I want to create more posts about her, who she is, and tips for anyone who is or going to be working with her.

This is my first post, be nice haha. I haven’t used this platform in SO long. Thank you!!!

[twinklelilstarkey]

A Rafe thing based any of Olivia Rodrigo's new songs omg it would be an angst train but they'd kinda fit his character

Good 4 u - Rafe Cameron

A/N: Hey anon! I wasn’t sure if you meant this song or Deja Vu, so I made this one. Hope you like it either way.

Words: 2.7k+

Type: Angst

Warnings: Female!Reader. Cheerleader!Reader. Rafe is an asshole. Long relationship break up. All the suffering that comes with break ups.

DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!

To say your relationship with Rafe was complicated is an understatement. Constant on and off for the whole two years you dated. Surely hard for the both of you while it was happening, but by the looks of it, someone can move rather quickly. Almost like it’s nothing.

Rafe is at the end of the hall and already with his arm over the shoulders of some girl. And you have nothing against her, she’s beautiful and seems like a nice person, but he sure has some nerve. It hasn’t even been 2 weeks.

At least it’s the last week of high school, so, you got that to look forward to. No more Rafe and all his shit. 

For the two years you dated, he was your priority in everything. You helped him school, with his addiction, with his dad - found him a therapist, one you’ve worked with before and absolutely loved. God, it doesn’t even seem fair. Your parents paid for his visits there, too, yet he had absolutely no remorse when he broke up with you and said all those horrible things.

You’re better than this, Y/N. You deserve more.

You open your locker and quickly hide from any unwanted attention with the now wide-open door. You take a deep breath, ignoring the sudden wave of chills that seem to have wanted to crawl under your skin just now.

“Ew. Who the fuck is that?” You hear a voice behind you and you look over your shoulder.

Your best friend, Sadie, is about two feet away from you, walking slowly to stand beside you while glaring down the hallway. You follow her gaze and sigh as you notice that she’s staring at Rafe’s new girl.

Sadie is the type of person that just can brighten any of your days. No matter what she does. If she’s beside you, you’re okay. Or you, at least, feel okay.

“No idea.” You say while grabbing your duffle bag and slamming your door closed.

“You doing good?” She asks and you nod quickly.

“Yeah. I don’t give a fuck about him anymore.”

Sure, huge lie. But to be quite honest, you don’t exactly feel sad (yet). You don’t feel the need to cry or something of the sort, all you feel is... angry.

You’re going to ignore the fact that you cried your eyes out not even 8 hours ago in your bathroom when taking a shower before bed. It didn’t happen, it was all an illusion. You didn’t sit under the warm water and hoped that your sobs didn’t echo too much off the walls of the bathroom and that your parents could hear you.

You’re okay.

“That’s my girl.” Sadie says before wrapping her arm over your shoulders, “The girls texted me and they’re already waiting for us in the locker room.”

You give her a short nod and soon the two of you start making your way down the hall to get to the locker rooms. Ignoring the looks you’re getting, you smile at Sadie’s heavy description of her dream and you shake your head at the mention of her celebrity crush.

“I swear, Y/N, we were almost at it there...” She tries to convince you, “He just- looked so real.”

You giggle at her lovesick words and she lets out a sigh.

“I’ll marry him one day, you know?” She asks you and you nod. “We’ll have a huge weddin-”

She stops talking right as someone hits shoulder to shoulder with her. Her face goes from lovesick excitement to pure hate in a second.

“Watch where you’re going, dickhead!”

You lift your gaze to find Topper looking down at Sadie with just as much annoyance. She rolls her eyes beside you and makes sure to push him out of her way completely before starting to walk with you again.

A smile appears over your lips and you see him stare at your friend as if in disgust. Your gaze lifts to the rest of his friend group and you notice Kelce first, who doesn’t hesitate in giving you a smile as a greeting.

You mouth a little ‘hi’ as you walk away, yet your eyes don’t miss a beat when they notice that you just walked by Rafe and didn’t even acknowledge him. He still has his arm over the new girl’s shoulders, but he’s holding her closer now, almost as if to protect her.

From what? You?

His eyes study you back, half hooded, almost as if tired with what just happened. You scowl and face back at what’s in front of you, feeling your heart quicken with some sort of adrenaline. You’ve never felt like tackling someone to the ground so much in your life.

(...)

Cheer practice can be emotionally tiring, but the fact that you’re in your last practices for the rest of your life kind of makes it worth it. You love most girls and guys on the team, so it will be hard to say ‘bye’ to them, but you swear you’re dying to never use this uniform again.

Cheerleading was the thing that made you and Rafe meet, or should you say, what made him look at you. You two didn’t know each other before your first football game, yet that was what changed everything for the two of you.

“You know what?” Sadie asks beside you while leaning forward to touch her toes, “I totally feel like you should have an ex-girlfriend crazy kinda moment.”

Wait.

“What?”

“Like, I don’t know, key his car, burn his locker, cut up his clothes, destroy his notes- Why are you looking at me like that?”

You chuckle at her once you notice how shocked you must have looked at her words.

“You’re crazy.”

“I know, but you wasted money and two years of your life with that guy. He deserves something, especially after the way he left you.” She says while pointing a finger at you.

“I agree.” One of the cheer guys says as he walks by you.

“With me having to have crazy moment?” You ask him and he nods.

“Yeah. Cameron needs his wake-up call, why do you think we all hate him?” He asks and Sadie chuckles beside you as he walks away.

“You heard him.”

You shake your head and continue to stretch while deep in thought. 

You’re not going to do what they’re telling you to, but, god, the memory of your last day together still hurts. His words, so empty with emotion that you felt like you were in a nightmare, the way he pulled away from your touch when you almost pleaded for him to stay. Everything.

Yet, before you can even think more about it, Sadie decides to talk.

“You could totally get some gas and dump it all over his bedroo- Ah, No. You would have to deal with Ward there because it’s his house. But his bik-”

“Sadie!” You tell her seriously and she smiles at you, “I’m not going to do that.”

“You should.” Someone else behind you says.

Sadie burst out laughing and you shake your head at her.

“It wouldn’t resolve anything.” You tell her, ignoring the other cheer member.

As much as you like to joke around, the feeling is still too heavy on your chest. It’s still hard to act like everyone wants you to. Act like Rafe is acting.

“Okay, and? At least you could wake him up for life. He’s an asshole, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you being nice to him.”

“Tell me about it.” You whisper to yourself.

She stays silent and you sigh.

“I just-” You begin your rant, yet you hesitate slightly. The look on her face calms you, “I just didn’t expect him to act like this not even a month later, you know? He acts like he doesn’t even know me, and when I talked to him last week, it kinda seemed- off? He was like a zombie, with no emotions, no nothing. Like he never cared.”

You look away quickly to look down at the floor and blink away your tears. Sadie didn’t notice it.

“He’s weird, I’m not going to lie.” She tells you and you sigh again, “And he has been weird for the longest time. His apathy is just... Ugh,” She cringes, “Stronger than ever, now.”

You stay quiet.

“He’s an asshole.” She repeats, “He wounded you and now just likes to scrub salt onto the wound. That’s the type of person he is.”

You stop yourself before you defend him.

“Or maybe I’m just too emotional.” You murmur to yourself.

(...)

You tap the end of your pencil on your notebook while carefully reading the question. There’s nothing like doing homework last minute, admit it, you swear you get smarter by the amount of pressure you’re putting on yourself.

“If he doesn’t stop staring, I’ll stab in the eye with your pencil.” Sadie says as she takes a seat beside you.

“Who?” You ask, not lifting your gaze over your book.

“Kelce-”

“He’s the nice one, Sadie. Remember?” You tell her with the most monotone voice ever.

“Still. He’s friends with druggy.” She says and you roll your eyes at her nickname for Rafe, “Speaking of the devil.”

You lift your eyes for a split second and they meet Rafe, who is just walking into the classroom, studying all the empty seats. You force yourself to look away and finish your homework, and the voice of your teacher stops you.

“Good evening, everyone.”

When did she even come in?

You take a deep breath and bring your hands to your head as you try to focus on the last question. Oh God, doing homework last minute isn’t fun anymore.

“Please, everyone- I feel like I’m repeating myself every class. Do not change places from one class to the other. Please seat with your partner from the beginning of the semester.”

Oh, great. She had forgotten to do this lately, why today?

“Come on, now.” She encourages.

You feel Sadie get up from her seat and she makes sure to pinch your arm before leaving your side, making you smile down at your notebook.

The familiar smell of a certain cologne reaches your nose, yet you don’t even look up. Rafe throws his stuff down at his side of the table and you continue to write the last words.

“Hope you all did your homework.”

You sigh in relief as you finally finish it while everyone else starts pulling their papers from their bags.

“Your paper, Mr. Cameron?” The teacher asks as she reaches your table.

He doesn’t answer her and she looks over at you. You give your paper to her and she gives you a small smile before moving to the next table.

That was a close one. Never again.

You lean back on your chair and look at your pencil, feeling the tension start to build up on and around the table you’re sitting at. You can tell by the corner of your eye that Rafe has his arms crossed over his chest like a toddler throwing a tantrum, and he’s staring at the board at the front of the class.

Your mind dives into a dream world and your attention is stolen to some memories. Your heart tightens like a sore muscle at the first image that comes up right at the beginning.

Memories of old habits that just ended up being a part of your routine. Things that you wouldn’t think of whenever he wasn’t close to you, but now that he is, they’re stronger than ever.

Every time in this class, you would doodle on Rafe’s right hand and always draw a little heart on the back of it, the space between his thumb and pointer finger.

“I’ll tattoo it one day.” He had said to you not even 4 weeks ago, during a class.

“Really?” You asked with a huge smile.

“Yeah.” He says, mimicking your bright smile, “You’re going to keep on doing it until then, so might as well get a permanent one.”

You blink the difficult memory away and look down at your notebook. You haven’t exactly had much motivation to take notes during the past few classes, for obvious reasons, so what’s written on the corner of the pages is already... not up to date.

It’s Rafe’s handwriting. They are just questions he would write down in your notebook when he couldn’t talk without the teacher hearing him.

You, overly curious, flip the pages back and stare at previous classes. Your eyes stop on one 2 months ago.

A bunch of rounds of tic-tac-toe scattered all throughout the page, yet your eyes focus on a conversation. It had both of your handwritings, yet it was all your pencil.

You read it with a small smile and your heart tightens further as you continue.

I swear to god. You’re the only person who ever gets me

You flip the pages again and at the corner of another page, you stop.

Love you. You got this!!!

“Let’s start with today’s class, yeah?” Your teacher asks, back at the front of the classroom.

You quickly bring your hands to your face and discreetly wipe away your tears. While no one is looking, you lay your arm over your side of the table and lean your head over it, flipping to the last pages of the notebook, acting like you didn’t see anything.

(...)

The bell rings and you lift your head from your arm. You watch for a few seconds as everyone starts putting all of their stuff away on their backpacks and ignore whatever the teacher is saying.

When snapping back to reality, you stand on your feet and throw your bag over your shoulder to make your way to the door, since you’ve put all your stuff away minutes prior to the class ending. Rafe had been the first to walk off the room, and to nobody’s surprise, he’s the first one you see when you walk out.

He’s leaning back on a random wall of lockers, looking down at his phone. You study it for a second and your mind focuses on him as memories continue to fill your thoughts. That’s exactly how he used to wait for you after class, leaning against your locker as he texts you.

A small smile appears over his face and he lifts his head to look down the hallway, making his smile stretch further. His bright smile is almost able to lift the pressure on your chest, making it easier to breathe, but, it isn’t meant for you.

You follow his gaze and your breathing stops abruptly, he’s smiling at her. Just like he did to you. 

You watch her as she smiles over at him and quickens her pace, running towards him. When she’s standing right by him, Rafe holds onto her waist.

They look at one another, eyes glued, while their smiles continue to be as bright. Her mouth is moving, yet you don’t hear her over how muffled your hearing is and also over all the people talking in the hallway. 

Rafe nods at her and asks a ‘are you serious?’, almost as if he’s proud of her. Proud of her accomplishments.

And they share a kiss.

Your breathing comes back heavy and you force yourself to look away again. Tears fill your vision and you step away from the classroom doorway. Away from them and everyone that seemed to be as entertained with the new couple.

You don’t study the looks on their faces, but a lot of people came out of the class and did the same thing as you. They looked at Rafe and at you, almost as if waiting for something to happen, but, nothing does.

As you walk away, Sadie calls out for you, just now being able to put all her stuff away and get out through the occupied classroom door. Her eyes study what everyone is looking at, and even she feels her heart sink to her stomach.

She calls out to you again, yet you don’t hear her.

The girl’s happy giggles enter and violate your ears, repeating over and over again in your head like an echo. While Rafe’s bright smile haunts you like a ghost as you push the doors of the school open.

Sadie runs through everyone and her screams and her running, seem to be enough to catch more people’s attention, even though she doesn’t even notice it.

She, in a way, feels like some sort of a bad friend. She had cracked jokes all day, believing that you were finally doing better and not even close to cracking again. But at the end of the day, you’re just as broken as you were a few days ago. All the cracks that had healed, have reopened for some unknown reason to her, except for the new girl. 

She has to get to you, now. You can’t be alone.

The new girl looks away from Rafe as a running girl hits her shoulder ever so slightly and she frowns as her eyes follow her. She looks panicked in a way, continuously screaming for the name of someone she has never heard before.

Her eyes then fall on the rest of the hallway, noticing how people are also looking at this running girl almost as if in... pity? And as she’s out of the doors, they all turn to her.

Rafe has told her multiple times that she doesn’t need to worry about the looks she’ll get, always the same things. 

“Why are they all looking at us?” She asks him.

“I don’t know. Probably just shocked that I finally am dating someone as good as you.”

And she was oblivious enough to believe him.

Fresh cold air hits your wet cheeks and you breathe in deeply, trying to wipe away the tears before anyone sees them. You notice Sadie now standing beside you and quickly, she wraps her arms around you.

It’s good to see him happy and healthy, to see him doing great, even if it’s without you. It’s good the see that he’s treating someone well, looking like a better man. Good for him.

But it still hurts because you’re not even close to feeling like that about yourself. You’re tired of crying and suffering.

Screw that, and screw him. 

Hope this was angsty enough. The ending has more references to the song than the rest, but... yeah. 

In case you’re curious on what lines I based some stuff on, here it is:

Hope you liked it!

[leupagus]

Please understand that I've written over 30K of this story in the past six days

Title is tentatively "You, Therefore" and once it's done will get posted on AO3. Nobody's more annoyed with me than I am that this happened but what can you do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

—*—

"Ted Lasso to see you," Sophie says, and Ted barely has time to step inside before she vanishes in a proverbial puff of smoke, shutting the door behind her. Which you can’t do if you literally vanish in a puff of smoke — hence the proverbial.

Trent’s office is a lot smaller than Ted and Beard’s, but there’s an old mansion vibe to it that you don’t really get at a clubhouse. Behind the desk is a solid wall of bookshelves, filled to the brim with books and magazines and a lot more awards than Ted expected, although it’s not a huge surprise — Trent’s one of the best, and has been for a while now. There’s a nice rug over the carpet and the desk looks like something that the Queen might sit behind when she’s giving one of those speeches of hers.

The man himself is sitting behind it right now, though, blinking up at Ted over the tops of his glasses with his hands hovering over the keyboard on his laptop. He doesn’t say anything, just slowly takes off his glasses and puts them on the desk.

"So," Ted says, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I got your email. About how you’re not covering Richmond anymore?"

Trent keeps on not saying anything, which Ted’s noticed is a trick of his. Ted’s not the biggest fan of it, but it’s effective.

He takes a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk and claps his hands on his knees. "And I’d like to ask some follow-up questions, in the words of this journalist guy I know."

"Very well," says Trent, all rounded out vowels — Ted still can’t tell one accent from another, but Nate’s told him that Trent is what’s known as "posh." There are other terms for it — "Oxbridge rowing team afternoon tea type prick" is what Roy called him once, and even though Ted has no idea what any of those words mean in context, he gets the feeling that Trent’s the type of guy who retreats into his own good manners whenever he’s thrown off.

"You said—" Ted has to pull out his phone to make sure he gets the exact phrasing right — "'I have spoken with my editors and we’ve agreed that this is the most appropriate course of action.’ Mind clarifying that a bit for me?"

Trent sighed, and leaned back in his chair. Trent’s one of those born leaners — Ted might go so far as to call him languid. It ought to make him seem harmless, and maybe that’s how most people see it; he can’t have gotten all the stories he’s gotten without people trusting him. But seeing him like that always makes Ted a little nervous, like he's a mouse stuck in a room with a cat who’s just had a nice meal but is contemplating him for dessert. "Very well," Trent says again.

Ted manages to stop himself making some joke about deja vu all over again. "Whenever you’re ready," he prompts.

Trent heaves a big sigh. "I would ask that this conversation not leave this room," he says. "Would you agree to that?"

"Strictly off the record," Ted promises.

That gets him a little bit of a smile, which is nice, but he’s still hesitating, licking his lips and looking out the window like he’s trying to figure out which version of the story to run — the one where Richmond won or the one where they lost. Or the one where they tied, but Trent had to run that story for almost two months. Maybe he got tired of it.

"I’ve become involved with someone from AFC Richmond," Trent says, which snaps Ted right back to the conversation. "As such, it would be unethical for me to continue covering the team."

"You’re involved with — who?" That really shouldn’t be Ted’s first question. That’s wonderful, Trent, I’m rooting for you and whoever’s lucky enough to date you, but also I care about everyone on my team so you are also lucky to be dating them, which means everyone’s lucky all around is what he should say. But a lot of times Ted’s brain and his mouth don’t get along so well and something else entirely pops out.

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Deja Vu (Ethan x MC)

Summary: While on their honeymoon, Ethan and Naomi come face to face with a blast from his past.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: Wow, how has it been almost 4 months since I’ve written for Ethan?? Insanity.

~v~

The Waldorf Astoria all the way in Amsterdam is the last place she ever thought she’d see Ethan Ramsey again. A five star hotel on a different continent should be an escape, but here he is, at the front desk talking to the receptionist without a care in the world.

It’s been 15 years, and not much has changed for him. Older obviously, his hair is graying along the temples, a few wrinkles settling in around his eyes, and he has a beard, a full beard. He looks...good. She’ll even admit to saying he looks great. Terribly so.

What are the odds that they’d both end up in the same place at the same time like this? After all this time passing by? She almost wants to say it’s fate trying to tell her something.

So she takes the plunge and greets him. “Ethan? Ethan Ramsey?”

The sound of his name being called grabs his attention, and he turns around. His eyes widen in shock, and she can see just how blue they are.

Ethan almost feels like he’s looking at a ghost. He hasn’t seen Victoria Sharpe since he was in medical school, not since he saw her with Tobias. And it’s been years since he’s given the moment so much as a passing thought. And now she’s here, in the flesh.

Her dark auburn hair is much shorter than he remembers. When they were younger, it flowed down to her waist, and now it doesn’t even pass her shoulders. She’s wearing glasses, the thick frames hiding her wide green eyes and most of her face, a face that had him entranced back in his twenties.

“Victoria Sharpe.”

Victoria smiles brightly and steps forward to hug Ethan, but his body goes rigid and he takes a step back as if her touch could burn him. She almost goes in for a handshake, but Ethan’s hands stay rooted at his side and he gives her a curt nod instead. She receives the message loud and clear that he doesn’t want to touch her.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!” Victoria says brightly. “How have you been? Last I heard, you were in Boston, right? Under the tutelage of Dr. Naveen Banerji, working on his special diagnostics team.”

“Yeah, I’m still at Edenbrook, er-Bloom Edenbrook, as it goes by these days. I started my residency there and never looked back. But Banerji doesn’t practice anymore, he’s now the chief of the hospital.”

“I spent my residency in Houston, and then I landed in San Francisco, where I’ve been for the past 7 years.”

It’s not information that Ethan was fishing for, nor does he truly care. Not wanting to be terribly rude, Ethan hums, acknowledging the fact that he heard her speak. He doesn’t want to be trapped in an awkward small talk situation with this woman, especially when he has nothing to say.

Victoria frowns. Ethan was always a tough nut to crack, even when they were dating, but there’s an uncomfortable distance between the two of them now, and she doesn’t know how to navigate it.

“Are you in Amsterdam for the AMA conference as well?” Victoria asks. Surely this is the best way to get him to talk: their shared love of medicine. “There’s supposed to be a meeting on hematology hosted by Dr. Arthur Saunders, and  I remember how much you admired him back in our John Hopkins days.”

Ethan’s eyebrow raises in question. He didn’t even know there was supposed to be a conference in Amsterdam. He shakes his head. “No, I’m not here for any conference, I’m here with–”

“Okay, the concierge just gave me the rundown on all of the cool places we have to hit up while we’re here! There’s so many restaurants I want to try.”

Victoria watches as a woman excitedly wraps an arm around Ethan’s waist and hugs him close to her. Whatever cold front he was putting on a mere seconds ago dissipates as he smiles warmly, and drops a kiss onto her forehead.

“We’re only here for a week, darling, please pick the restaurants wisely.”

“Apparently, we have to go to some place called Foodhallen. It’s a one stop-shop for all sorts of goodies.”

“That sounds fun,” Ethan murmurs. “How about we go tonight?”

“I was thinking we should order room service tonight,” Ethan doesn’t miss the way her eyes twinkle as she speaks, “so we don’t have to leave the bedroom.”

“Mhmm, I like that line of thinking.”

It becomes apparent that Ethan has forgotten all about her, his attention now solely on the woman clinging to his side. Victoria clears her throat in an attempt to regain some of the attention. When the couple breaks apart, Victoria looks to Ethan, wondering if he’ll introduce her.

When he makes no effort to do so, the woman at his side thrusts her hand out. “Hi, I’m Naomi.”

Victoria grabs her hand, giving it a firm shake. “Victoria.”

She’s gorgeous, Victoria notices it instantly. Her huge brown eyes are deep and expressive, her long curly hair going past her shoulders. Even with bags under her eyes, the younger woman is a stunner.

“Naomi, this is Dr. Victoria Sharpe. We went to medical school together. Dr. Sharpe, this is my wife, Dr. Naomi Valentine.”

Victoria bristles at the introduction. Given their history, reducing her to any old classmate just seems wrong. They were together for almost two years, for goodness sake. They were attached at the hip, and while the relationship didn’t end well, there’s no need to trivialize who she was to him. But she doesn’t dwell on it for long, because she’s more interested in Naomi’s moniker. Out of all the things Naomi could’ve been introduced as, Ethan’s wife was not what Victoria expected to hear. He got married? But Ethan Ramsey isn’t the marrying type. “Your wife?”

The word sends a pleasant shiver up Ethan’s spine and he smiles warmly. Sure, it’s been a week since they exchanged vows and the newness hasn’t worn off yet, but Ethan still can’t believe it. Naomi is his wife, and he’s obsessed with saying it.

“Yes,” Ethan nods. “That’s what I was saying, we’re not here for a conference, we’re actually here for our honeymoon.”

Victoria’s stomach rolls upon hearing that, but she plasters on a smile, nonetheless. Her cheeks hurt and her shiny white teeth are probably blinding them, but Victoria powers through. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you.” Ethan turns to Naomi, Victoria’s presence already fading from his mind. “While you were off making friends with the concierge, I got us checked into our room. Someone already took up our luggage for us. Are you ready?”

“Am I ready to dive onto a pile of down feathers and pass out for the next few hours? Absolutely.”

Ethan takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “Then let’s go.”

He barely spares Victoria another glance before turning on his heel and walking away, but Naomi, always more gracious and poised than him, gives Victoria a warm parting smile. “It’s always nice to meet a fellow Hopkins alum. Enjoy your stay, Dr. Sharpe!”

“Thank you,” Victoria replies, even though she’s almost positive they didn’t hear. Ethan is whispering something into Naomi’s ear, and she’s giggling as they walk off.

It takes the newlyweds a few minutes to make it to their room—an 1,100 square-foot suite, because Ethan wasn’t going to subject his bride to anything less than the best—and true to her word, Naomi’s first line of business and falling face first onto their bed. It’s covered in red roses which all splay wildly around her, as she gives them no attention.

“I’m exhausted,” she says, the 10 hour flight getting the best of her. Ethan chuckles and grabs her foot, helping her out of her shoes. They fall onto the soft rug with a thud. “Why didn’t we pick somewhere closer for our honeymoon, like New York? The Hamptons would’ve been lovely this time of the year.”

“You said you wanted to add another stamp to your passport.”

“Well stop listening to me,” Naomi grumbles.

Ethan leans over his new wife and kisses the back of her head. “Famous last words, Valentine.”

Naomi rolls over in order to look Ethan in the eye. “So, the woman we met downstairs. That was the Victoria, right? The one you and Tobias were both after?”

Ethan’s eyes close and his head drops at the question. He knows whatever comes next won’t be all that enjoyable.”

He nods anyway. “That was Victoria, the one I thought I was in a relationship with until Tobias threw his hat in the ring. Then we did the back and forth thing for almost 6 months, before she chose to be with him.”

“I’m sorry,” Naomi replies, a small frown playing on her lips. Sure it was a long time ago, but she hates hearing about anything that has caused Ethan pain.

Ge shrugs. He’s long let go of his anger over that situation and the subsequent fallout. “It’s whatever.”

“No, it’s not whatever,” Naomi argues. “She messed with you, and broke your heart.”

“I survived,” Ethan says. “I haven’t thought about that woman since I mentioned her in passing nearly three years ago, on Leland Bloom’s yacht. She didn’t ruin me for future relationships, I didn’t carry a torch for her, there’s no leftover baggage, no need for closure, nothing. If anything, I look back on that time of my like in annoyance. Annoyed at how I lost years of friendship with Tobias over a woman that neither of us ended up with, and annoyed with myself that I let her hold so much power over me.” 

24 year old Ethan was head over heels for Victoria. He would’ve done any and everything for her. And like a siren leading him to certain death, she wielded that power over him—and Tobias—whenever she saw fit. It took him a long time to realize just how toxic and dysfunctional the love triangle really was, and it’s not something he’s particularly keen on rehashing.

“It’s hard to imagine you letting someone hold power over you.”

“You’ve had power over me since the beginning, Valentine. Mind, body, and soul. But the difference is I yield to you, with no hesitation.”

Naomi smiles. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, he never fails to take her breath away. “Well lucky for you, I intend on using my superpowers for good.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Naomi grabs a handful of her husband’s shirt and pulls him towards her, though it doesn’t take much effort and he comes willingly. Warmth floods his chest, and just like that, all thoughts of Victoria Sharpe are banished from Ethan’s mind, as all he can focus on is Naomi, the smell of her jasmine perfume filling his nostrils and her lips against his.

“Are you sure you’re okay after seeing her?” Naomi asks after breaking the kiss, her hand gently raking through his beard.

“It was a surprise,” Ethan admits. His gaze slides over Naomi’s sparkling engagement ring. “But I’m in Amsterdam with the love of my life, celebrating my honeymoon, and she is nothing more than a memory. You have my full, undivided attention, now and forevermore.”

“Good. You know what we should d-do?” Her breath hitches as Ethan resumes kissing her, the juncture between her neck and shoulder his new target. His tongue slides over the warm skin, her pulse pounding erratically, and Naomi is sure she’s lost the ability to breathe.

“What?”

“Order a bottle of champagne and break in that super huge shower in the en-suite.”

Ethan is off of her in a flash, his hands never leaving her as he sweeps a giggling Naomi off of the bed and into his arms. “I knew I married you for a reason. You have excellent ideas.”

~v~

The next morning, Victoria spots Naomi in the hotel’s restaurant, sipping on a cup of coffee, reading a magazine. It’s a huge five star hotel, part of Victoria hoped she didn’t have to run into the newly minted Missus Ethan Ramsey for the rest of their duration here.

But the other part of Victoria couldn’t stop her morbid curiosity. Who the hell is Naomi Valentine? And what makes her so special?

She spent the night researching the younger woman. Naomi has private social media accounts, but that didn’t stop her from getting information that is public record. Her profile on the Bloom Edenbrook website says she’s from Washington D.C. and got her BS and MD both from John Hopkins. She found news articles and videos detailing an attempted murder that happened at the hospital a few years ago, involving Naomi, the former senator of Massachusetts, and a few other hospital staff. She poured over research articles written by Naomi and Ethan detailing septic shock, an ailment that nearly killed Dr. Naveen Banerji a few years ago.

Unable to stop herself, Victoria marches over to the table currently occupied by her fellow doctor. Sensing her presence, Naomi looks up, shock flitting across her features. Realizing she must look wild, Naomi smiles at her. “Good morning, Dr. Sharpe.”

“Victoria.”

“Good morning, Victoria.”

“Do you mind if I sit?” Victoria asks, gesturing to the empty seat at the table. Wordlessly, Naomi nods her head. “Thank you.”

Why on earth am I here? Victoria thinks to herself. In what universe is the acceptable or appropriate conduct?

“You’re up early,” Victoria says.

“I was too excited to sleep, despite the jet lag.”

Naomi doesn’t say anything further because there’s no need to. She was perfectly content by herself. If Victoria wants to say something, she’s going to have to open her mouth and do so, because Naomi feels no compelling reason to initiate small talk.

The silence stretches for a long time, with Victoria unable to start the conversation. As the painstaking time stretches on, the urge to get up and run away gets stronger and stronger.

Her eyes settle on Naomi’s engagement ring, an incredibly large princess cut diamond and a simple platinum band on top of it, and she’s reminded of why she’s here in the first place. She’s sitting in front of Ethan Ramsey’s wife.

“I’m sorry, this is just...surreal,” Victoria says.

“What?”

“The Ethan I know doesn’t agree with marriage, so to know that he’s on his honeymoon is weird.”

“I love him, he loves me. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, simple as that. The Ethan I know and the Ethan you knew are vastly different,” Naomi says, making the deliberate distinction. He’s changed a lot in the past 3 years, let alone the past 15.”

“I just can’t imagine it. Back in school, Ethan’s steadfastness was so intense, it was almost like he had tunnel vision. There was absolutely no room for him to see a grey area or compromise.”

Naomi chuckles humorlessly. It’s good to know that part of Ethan has endured. “He’s still like that sometimes. A lot of times. But I argue him down, and it’s been like that since the day we met. I don’t think he was used to it, but I force him to think outside the box. He grounds me when its time to color inside the lines again.”

“Good for you.”

They fall into silence again, though this stretch is a bit more comfortable than the last. 

Naomi takes a sip of coffee before clearing her throat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Ask away.”

“How did things end between you and Ethan?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s given you all of the gritty details.”

“He hasn’t, actually. I only know the bare minimum.”

Victoria’s face flushes, cheeks turning pink as she thinks back on her relationships with both Ethan and Tobias. “Ethan asked me out during our second year of medical school. He and I...we were good, when we were good. Dating him was fun, he had a confidence about him that choked a room, he was great in bed,” and now it’s Naomi’s turn to flush, and she tilts her head slightly, not knowing how to respond to that. Is she supposed to say something snarky? Laugh and agree? “I’m sorry, that was so inappropriate of me.”

“Apology accepted.”

“While what we had was fun, I was convinced that it was meant to be a fling, something that was going to fizzle out eventually. He never said it aloud, but I know Ethan was in much deeper than I, but we were at a standstill. Then Tobias told me he was interested. I should’ve shut him. And I should’ve told Ethan that our relationship had run its course, but I didn’t. They were at the top of their class, poised to be two of the greatest doctors of our generation, they were extremely gorgeous, and they wanted me.”

Victoria sighs heavily. “I was fully aware of what I was doing, but I didn’t care. You can’t imagine the power trip I was on. I had them wrapped around my pinky finger, if I said jump, they were already 5 feet in the air. I was a young woman in my 20s, I was having more fun than I knew how to handle. I played them like fiddles against each other because I knew I could. I would get away with it. And then Ethan issued an ultimatum, saying I had a decision to make, because he was tired of sharing me. I decided to pick Tobias. He was so charismatic, fun, and easygoing. I was able to justify things because like I said, I couldn’t continue having a real relationship with Ethan. He was vehemently against marriage, like, would go on. He didn’t want children. He wasn’t made for the life I wanted to carve out for the life I wanted to have.”’

Victoria’s nails dig into her palm as she tries to breathe. Had she misjudged the entire situation? If she stuck around and not pulled both men into a love triangle, could she be the one in Naomi’s shoes, wearing a ring the size of the moon on her finger, living happily ever after?

“I’m not particularly proud of my med school days,” Victoria continues. “It was selfish and callous, and I’m sure Ethan probably hates me.”

“He doesn’t,” Naomi insists, with a shake of her head. “So don’t go around holding onto any guilt. Just...learn from it and do your best.”

Victoria locks eyes with Naomi. She wants to dislike her, so much so. If Naomi is horrible, it’d soothe some of the ache in her chest, and she could continue on believing that what she did to Ethan didn’t matter. But she can’t. By all accounts, Naomi Valentine is…impressive. Smart as a whip, gorgeous, and highly accomplished for someone who’s only been a doctor for around 4 years. And the fact that she’s even giving Victoria the time of day proves that she’s a decent person.

“There you are!”

The hairs on Victoria’s neck stand up as she hears Ethan’s voice from behind. She sees him out of her peripheral as he glides to Naomi, either not noticing her presence at the table or choosing to ignore it.

“I needed caffeine,” Naomi replies, craning her neck to greet Ethan with a kiss. “And I decided to let you sleep in.”

“Thank you.”

Victoria averts her gaze. It feels like she’s intruding on a rather intimate moment, and she doesn’t want to interrupt.

When they break away is when Ethan finally spares a glance her way. His eyes go wide, and yeah, that’s confirmation enough that he didn’t notice her.

“Dr. Sharpe,” he exhales deeply through his nose. “I didn’t know you were here.” His eyes flicker over to Naomi and his hackles go up, defensive and ready to strike at any given moment.

Victoria notices it instantly, his protectiveness over Naomi. Her stomach twists uncomfortably. She couldn’t really blame him, their previous relationship ended on a sour note and didn’t inspire any trust within the man.

Before she can open her mouth to explain, Naomi jumps in. “We were just having some old fashioned girl chat,” she says smoothly, touching her husband’s hand, and he does relax a little bit at the contact.

“I’ve taken up too much of your time,” Victoria announces. She stands up. “Thank you for entertaining an old lady.”

“You’re not old, and it’s no problem,” Naomi shoots back. She stands up as well, finishing the rest of her coffee as she does so. “Enjoy the rest of your time here.”

“You as well.”

Victoria watches as Ethan pulls out his wallet. He tosses a few bills onto the table, paying for Naomi’s drink as well as a generous tip. “Are you ready to go?”

“Always.” Naomi slips her arm around Ethan. Come on handsome, we have some obnoxious tourist-y activities to do.”

Before they walk off, Naomi gives Victoria one more glance. Both women nod at each other, silently saying goodbye. Once they’re out of the restaurant, Ethan garners her attention. “What was that about?”

“Nothing. She just wanted to meet the amazing woman who managed to lock down the elusive commitment-phone known as Ethan Ramsey.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“Our story isn’t really her business, I said you’ve grown and we love each other, and we wanted to get married. And then she gave me her version of your relationship.” He doesn’t respond to that, but Naomi does hear him scoff slightly. “Do you want to know what she told me?”

“No.”

That’s a shock. If the roles were reversed, Naomi would covet every single detail. “No?”

“No.” Ethan stops walking and Naomi follows suit. He turns, looking her in the eye. “I meant what I said to you yesterday. I don’t need any sort of closure from that chapter of my life. You, Naomi Marie Ramsey, are the only woman in my life that I care about.”

Even though she hasn’t made any sort of effort to change her name, she still giggles at being called Ramsey. Surging forward, she captures his lips in a kiss. It doesn’t take Ethan long to respond, his hand traveling to the small of her back, holding her close.

Too soon for her liking, Ethan breaks apart from her, resting his forehead on hers. “You know, if you want to actually explore anything other than the four walls of our suite, I suggest we put this on pause. You wanted to do some exploring, last I heard.”

“You’re right,” Naomi relents, pecking him on the lips once more for good measure. “Now let’s go shopping, Dr. Ramsey. I didn’t marry rich for nothing.”

~v~

Tags: @mercury84choices @mvalentine @sizzlingcashherohumanoid @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @nikki-2406 @maurine07 @aka-calliope @edgiestwinter @brycesgirl @akshara16 @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @honeyandsunfl0wers @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

[mickmarstookmyheart]

More Espresso, Less Despresso

Part: 3/?

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

Summary: You have a decent conversation with your mom about Mick.

(pic from Pinterest)

You couldn't recall when was the last time you laughed that much while you were at the studio with the Crüe. Tommy was a total goofball, Nikki was kind yet a bit high, and Vince was like a gay friend you were aching for years. Doc seemed the smartest one among them, of course, beside Mick. After you all ate the food you had brought they started to tell stories of the previous concerts and backstage moments. You had a deja vu but not in a good way. Memories and feelings crossed your mind as the hours passed.

"Are you alright? You look a bit pale." Mick asked with a concerned look in his eyes. You had been quiet in the last ten minutes and he noticed it. At first, he thought it was because of your introverted self, but then he saw the tears in your eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay." You sighed blinking fast to get rid of the tears. You didn't want to be weak. You wanted to forget that whole era of your life. And now, you were in the same deep pit.

"Hey, (Y/N)!" Vince yelled, putting his feet on the table. "You are coming with us right?" The blood froze in your veins and you even forgot how to breathe properly. You gulped then put a smile on.

"I don't know, Vince. I barely know you and-"

"That's the point! We want to get to know you." You weren't the most spontaneous one. At least, not anymore. Joining a band on tour after one day was quite a big deal. And your mother wouldn't be so happy either. On the other hand, you weren't sure if you wanted to tag along. You had enough.

"Vinnie, you met her hours ago. You couldn't force her to come with us." Nikki said. "Right, (Y/N)?"

"Yeah." You smiled.

"Well, you know where we are going so feel free to come and see us on a show." Vince winked and drank from his beer.

"Just call me and I will give you a pass." Doc added.

"Thanks, guys, really. But I think I gotta go now." You jumped down from the top of the piano and headed to the door.

"Why so soon?" Tommy pouted standing in front of you blocking the way. He didn't help your situation. You felt horrible and just wanted to go home.

"Please, Tommy." You said shyly. But he didn't move just smirked. You knew he just joked but you weren't in the mood.

"Drummer. Let her go." Mick snapped from behind earning a sigh from Tommy. He stepped aside but patted your back.

"See you soon." He grinned and hopped down on the couch next to his Terror Twin. They were so kind, you hated yourself for leaving. However, you know that you wouldn't enjoy yourself. You wouldn't be able to distract yourself from the memories they all brought back.

"Bye, guys!" You waved and left the room with Mick by your side. After he closed the door you let out a long breath you didn't realize you were holding. You didn't say a word until you weren't in the streets again. "I'm sorry." Mick turned to you while walking with raised brows.

"For what?"

"For leaving so early." You shrugged and adjusted your coat tighter. "I didn't feel like a good company."

"Yeah, I saw that something was up. Wanna talk about it?" You shook your head as a no. You weren't ready to talk about that. You didn't want to tell him the reason you moved there with your mom. Why you were the girl reading in a café. The introvert one, the shy one. Why you had to hide behind this disguise.

"Everything is alright, Mick. Nothing serious, I promise." You showed your most believable smile which he loved. He noticed that you were lost in your thoughts and those thoughts made you sad. He saw that something snapped suddenly after Vince asked but he didn't want to ask there. He asked it now but you didn't feel like telling him and he respected that.

"Got it." He stopped and stood in front of you. "But if you are feeling down or wanna talk about anything I'm here, okay?" He rested his hands on your shoulders. "And it's the most obvious thing to talk to each other every night, right?"

"Of course. Though I will miss my caffeine buddy." You sighed.

"Well, if you visit us at one of our concerts I will take you to the finest café nearby and we will drink a huge amount of that!"

"Pinky Promise?" You asked pointing at him.

"Sure, whatever it is." He looked puzzled but chuckled anyways when you intertwined your little finger with his. "Then you have to promise to me that you will come to a concert as soon as possible."

"I promise." You winked and continued walking home.

∆

"Hey, mom!" You yelled as soon as you stepped in the house and hung your coat.

"Hello, honey! I'm in the kitchen!" She shouted back as she was flipping pancakes. You sniffed in the air and hummed from the delicious smell. You stepped next to her and placed a kiss on her cheek making her smile. You loved your mom more than anyone, even yourself. She was there for you when you needed the most, where you needed the most. She always knew how to cheer you up and make you happy. She knew you better than yourself.

"Smells good." You smirked.

"Thanks. So where have you been? How was your day?" She asked glancing at you while placing the pancake on a plate.

"The café." You lied. Well, you didn't lie just didn't tell your whole day. "Read a book, drank a cappuccino as always."

"Sounds interesting. And boring. Why don't you find a book club so you can meet new people?"

"I like being on my own." You said filling your mouth full with pancakes sitting on the counter. You tried to distract the topic but it was hell hard. "And what about you, mom?"

"But it's not healthy being alone all the time." She insisted making you groan and roll your eyes. "Don't grimace, young lady. And yes, you need to find new friends. Who may help you forget the old ones..." She sighed.

"I like the old ones. But you are right. I need to forget them as all those years from that era." You lowered your head staring at your black leather boots. She was right you knew that. And you did find friends just not the right ones. The guys didn't help you forget, on the contrary. "But enough about me. Do you like your new workplace? Is your boss handsome?"

"Hey!" She threw the kitchen towel right on your face from that last statement. "And to answer your question...FUCK YES! He is tall, dark-haired, and has blue eyes..."

"So basically, your type." You giggled watching her faking fainting.

"Girl, you know me so well!" She laughed. "And his voice...I can listen to it for eternity." She sighed hearts all around her head.

"Then, you are in the best position you can ever be. Being his assistant means hearing his thunderous voice. All. Day. Long." You pointed at her with your fork stressing the last words.

"Don't play with me. And? What about you? Don't tell me you haven't met Prince Charming in that café you go to every day." She glanced at you, but you were staring down avoiding eye contact. "So you've already met him, haven't you?" She asked in a low voice.

"You could say that." You jumped down from the counter and headed upstairs but your mother grabbed your wrist before you could reach the stairs. You didn't know if you should tell her or not. You have a deep connection with your mom, you told everything to each other so she would listen to you. However, her reaction would be quite controversial.

"(Y/N). I could see that there is something wrong." She placed her hand on your cheek giving you a warm smile. "Come. Let's eat then you can tell me everything."

"I'm not hungry. I will start now. So there is a guy." You began.

"Let me guess. Black hair, sarcasm, music lover. Am I right?" Your mom interrupted.

"Damn, mom!" You snapped glaring at her.

"Okay, I will shut it. But was I right?"

"Of course, you were, goddamn. He came to me at that café while I was reading and we started to talk. We have many things in common, more than we should, actually. He is kind, generous, and is a great company." Your stomach did a backflip just thinking about it. At the same time, your heart was aching since you knew it won't be the same. It wasn't your café, not your usual coffee, not the squeaking chair you usually sat on and not the old-fashioned table with the blue cloth covering it.

"Sounds good to me." She frowned.

"Promise me you won't freak out." You looked deep in her eyes making sure she understood what you asked. She nodded so you took a deep breath and prepared yourself. "He is a musician, more precisely, he plays in a rock band. And I know what will you say but please let me finish it!"

"Alright." She swallowed and clenched her jaws.

"They are leaving town tomorrow and when they asked me if I would like to join...I said no. Did you hear me? I said no!" You gripped her hand firmly. You didn't like when she was making that face and it broke your heart. She was disappointed, sad, furious at the same time if that was possible. "I won't meet them again if you tell me not to. But please let me meet Mick once more. Just once so I can say goodbye." You sobbed.

"Honey, you don't need permission for that." She gave you a half-smile. "I trust you, I believe that you know what is good for you. And you are an adult now, you can do whatever you like. Things happened in the past, that's why we moved here. To leave those awful and horrible events which occurred there." She gulped and pressed her eyes together trying to erase those memories from her mind. Drugs, booze, rock and roll, death.

"I love you, mom and I'm so grateful. To have such an understanding and strong mom like you." You stood up, walked over to her, and hugged her tightly. She was the strongest person you've ever known. She lost a son, you lost a brother. And still, she managed to put a smile on her face whenever you felt down, desperate. Moved to another city, found a new job, and continued being the coolest mom on Earth.

"Your brother would be so proud." She sighed letting you go. Despite the fact that your brother overdosed, she still talked about him like it hadn't been his fault. She got over it and tried to remember her son as he was before the drugs. Lively, creative, and cheerful.

"So, this means I can visit them? On the tour?" You asked with full of hope.

"If you can take care of yourself and avoid all those things, then, of course, darling. I want you to be happy and somehow that guy makes you that. I can see it in your eyes and the way you talk about him." She smirked.

∆

Days, weeks, months passed. Lonely days, sitting in the café, reading books. Every time the bell rang above the door you glanced up to see who it was. It wasn't him. You have pretty mixed feelings. Although your mother was okay with it, you just couldn't make your finger pushed those buttons on the telephone. Every time you tried, you just put the phone back to its place and continued suffering.

On the other hand, you were afraid. Scared to see them using drugs and killing themselves with it. You wouldn't survive. You have already seen your brother passing out on the couch while injecting heroin in his veins and it was the most horrible thing you've ever gone through. You shook your head to get rid of the memory and kept on reading. Hours went by and you were about to read the last page when a shadow covered all the lights.

"A moment, David. I'm on the last page then you can close the café." You said not leaving the page.

"Hey, (Y/N)." A familiar voice echoed making you drop the book and gulp.

"Mick?!" You literally jumped up from the chair on him. "Wh-what at you doing here?" He hummed feeling your arms around him and the scent of your hair.

"I was missing my soulmate." He smirked not letting you go. "Cause she didn't visit me against the fact she promised me. And it was even a pinky promise! An unbreakable vow, we are talking about." He chuckled making you grin.

"Well, the tour hasn't ended, has it?"

∆

Taglist: @leatherandheels @littlemisscare-all @safari-karrot @crazyrockrlady @savageandnikkiapproved 🖤

[btsqualityy]

Set It Off / Part One

Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia AU

Warnings: The members are dangerous ass gang members (like, they’ll literally shoot you if you look at them for too long), gun handling, criminal activity, brief mention of abortion

Author’s Note: So, this is the first part of Set It Off! I’ve been working on this idea off and on since 2018, and I’m so excited that I finally got it how I wanted it and am finally posting it! This little series will only be five parts long but it’s gonna be a crazy ride in those five parts! I hope you guys enjoy it!

“You call yourself an expert assassin with that aim Y/N?” Jungkook chuckled and you glared over at him as you lowered your gun. 

“Shut the fuck up Jeon, before I show you just how good my aim really is and put one of these bullets in your ass,” you snapped and Jungkook just responded by laughing loudly.

“That shit aim is the reason why that last job went so bad,” he pointed out as he lifted his gun and pulled the trigger three times in rapid succession, and you watched as all of the bullets hit the middle of the bulls eye.

“Yeah, it wasn’t your happy trigger finger at all,” you smiled sarcastically. You then turned back to face front, lifting your gun and squinting your eyes at the target before pulling the trigger. You watched as the bullet went straight through the bulls eye, and you smiled widely as you lowered your gun again. “Eat that Jeon.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s called luck,” Jungkook replied. Just as you were about to respond, you saw Jimin walk into the practice room where you, Jungkook, and several other members of the organization were sharpening up their shooting skills. 

“Hey you two,” Jimin smiled as he walked over to the gun area where you and Jungkook were doing target practice. 

“Hi babe,” you said as you puckered your lips, moaning lightly when Jimin pressed his lips to yours.

“Gross,” Jungkook grumbled and you stuck your middle finger up at him before pulling away from Jimin’s lips.

“How’s the target practice going?” He wondered.

“Eh, the usual. Helping Y/N get better,” Jungkook smiled.

“You know the fuck what Jeon,-”

“Ok anyways,” Jimin interrupted. “Namjoon called a meeting and it’s in 5 minutes.”

“What the fuck is up with the short notice?” You wondered and Jimin shrugged.

“I think he received some new intel on the next job we’re gonna do,” Jimin said and you nodded.

“I guess we better start heading down there then,” Jungkook said as he set his gun down before turning and walking out of the room. You then wrapped your hands around Jimin’s arm before the two of you started to follow behind him.

“And how was training on the driver’s course?” You asked him as you two walked out of the room and down the hall to the large meeting room.

“Nothing to a professional like me,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes in response. “I’m not this organizations’ number one getaway driver for no reason.”

“And you’re also the boyfriend of said organizations’ number one assassin too, you know,” you pointed.

“I don’t know. From what JK said, you’re slacking Y/N,” Jimin teased and you pinched his arm, making him groan in response. 

“Dickhead.”

“You love me though,” he smiled and you just looked ahead as the two of you made it to the door of the meeting room. Jimin opened the door and let you walk inside first, where you were greeted with the hustle of multiple members of the organization moving around quickly. From how everyone was acting and bustling around, you figured that this next job that Namjoon had planned out was huge.

You had met Namjoon when you were only 15 years old, an orphan who had run away from the foster home that you had gotten dumped in. He was already deep in the business at that point and when he had found you, alone and sleeping under a fucking bridge, he took you in and under his wing. He got you into the organization, the then-boss assigning you to training to become an assassin. As someone who had never particularly been good at much before that, you naturally took to having a gun in your hand. You and Namjoon quickly rose up the ranks along with Seokjin (a super talented hacker and doctor), Yoongi (who worked on intelligence and setting up jobs), Hoseok (who was also a hacker), and Taehyung (who was also a talented gunman and often your first choice when it came to having a back up with you when you pulled jobs). 

Jimin joined the organization in your fifth year, after Namjoon had taken over once the old boss died and after your position as lead assassin had been established. He had been involved in underground drag racing and Namjoon had found him by chance, convincing him to become a getaway driver for when you all pulled jobs because of how talented he was. You had been skeptical, Jimin’s pretty face and sweet demeanor making you doubt if he really had the skills and guts needed to pull off the type of work that you all were involved in. However, on your first job together (robbing a small bank on the outskirts of Seoul), Jimin literally saved your and Taehyung’s asses with his quick thinking and even quicker reflexes when it came to handling a car. He earned your respect after that and the two of you became closer, eventually starting a relationship. 

The story of how Jungkook joined the organization is one that’s a little closer to your heart. It was literally Deja Vu from how Namjoon found you. He was asleep on the side of the street and you stopped, wondering why this sweet looking guy was on his own. After waking him up and promising that you wouldn’t hurt him, you talked to him and found out that he was an orphan who had been abused at his foster home so he ran away and had been living on the streets for a while. Seeing so much of yourself in him, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him out there alone so you took him in, bringing him to Namjoon and setting him up within the organization as well. He was a talented ass assassin and if you weren’t number one, he’d definitely have that spot. 

“Hey you guys,” Taehyung smiled as he watched you and Jimin walk over to the large, round table that was sat in the middle of the room. Jimin quickly pulled your chair out for you and you gave him a soft smile as you sat down.

“Hey, do you know what this meeting is about?” You wondered and Taehyung shrugged.

“Not really,” he admitted. “I heard from Yoongi hyung that he had some important intel, but that’s about all though.”

“Well, whatever it is, I’m more than sure that it’s beyond important,” Jimin spoke up. “Namjoon hyung wouldn’t call an organization wide meeting if it weren’t.” As you all waited for Namjoon to walk in, Seokjin, Hoseok, and Jungkook joined you guys at the table, sitting on the opposite side of Jimin. 

“Anybody know what the fuck this meeting’s about?” Hobi wondered and you all shook your heads. “I was trying to break into the League of Legends network.”

“You’re still at that?” Jin gasped and Hobi nodded.

“You definitely need some new hobbies,” you giggled. Before Hobi could return with a smart ass remark though, Namjoon walked into the room, with Yoongi following close behind him. The room immediately went quiet at the sight of the leader of the organization, a sign of respect that he had rightfully earned. 

“So, I’m sure that you’re all more than curious about why I called this meeting,” Namjoon began, a soft murmuring flowing throughout the room in response. “Well, I received some very interesting intel from Yoongi today, in regards to what our next job is going to be.”

“Hell yeah,” Jungkook exclaimed with a wide grin on his face. “It’s been months since our last job.”

“That’s because I was waiting on details to come in so that I could finish finalizing plans for this one because it’s going to be our biggest job yet,” Yoongi smirked. 

“Well, what is it?” Taehyung asked. 

“We are going to take KB Financial Group,” Namjoon announced, and a flurry of excited gasps and whispers began to fill the room. 

“You mean, the biggest bank in Seoul?” Jimin checked and Namjoon nodded proudly.

“Yoongi has been doing some intel work for almost a year now in order to nail down their processes and how they operate on the inside,” Namjoon explained. “And he’s found us a window of opportunity.”

“When?” Hobi spoke up.

“Two weeks,” Yoongi replied and Jin gasped.

“That’s not enough time,” he said. 

“For a heist of this magnitude, it’s last minute, I know,” Namjoon agreed. “But Yoongi and I talked it over and you all know that we wouldn’t even bring it to you guys if we didn’t think it could be pulled off.”

“Who exactly would be participating in the heist?” A junior named Mark asked. 

“Since it’s so last minute, I’d only feel comfortable with the most experienced members of the organization being involved,” Namjoon started. “So, Yoongi and Hoseok are gonna be in charge of hacking and getting us through the security system.”

“Yes,” Hobi whispered in excitement. 

“Jin’s gonna be on standby as medical personnel, just in case things take a turn and as a backup hacker as well,” Namjoon said. “Which, given the extent of their security systems, we might need.”

“I’m all for it,” Jin nodded in agreement. 

“Jimin’s gonna be the getaway driver,” Namjoon continued. “He’s gonna drive the people going in to the bank, wait outside for them, and intervene if necessary to keep the cops off their ass while they get the money and the gold bars.”

“Shit,” Jimin huffed quietly and you looked over at him with a raised brow. 

“And who’s going in?” Taehyung inquired.

“I’m glad you asked Tae,” Namjoon smiled. “You, Jungkook and Y/N will be the ones to go in.”

“Fuck yeah!” Jungkook cheered as he clapped his hands excitedly. 

“Tae, I was thinking that you could provide the distraction before Jungkook and Y/N join you inside,” Namjoon suggested.

“I’m down with that,” Taehyung concurred. 

“If the seniors are the ones going in,” a junior named Jiyho spoke up. “Why did you call an organization wide meeting?”

“Because if worse comes to worse, we’ll need the muscle of everyone to get us out of it,” Namjoon explained, and everyone in the room nodded in understanding. 

“Y/N-ah?” Yoongi called and you looked over at him. “You’ve been pretty quiet. Everything ok?”

“Oh yeah, I’m good,” you assured him. “I’m just trying to figure out how to tell you guys that I’m not fucking doing it.”

“Wait, what?” Jungkook chuckled in disbelief. “This is the biggest heist ever. How could you not wanna do it?”

“It’s the biggest heist for a reason,” you replied. “No one has ever successfully robbed that bank and I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather not get killed trying to do it like other people have been.”

“Those other people weren’t as skilled as we are, and you know it,” Taehyung disputed. 

“I don’t care how skilled we are, it’s a fucking death sentence,” you snapped. 

“Y/N-ah, aren’t you the one who’s always saying that we’re getting too old to still be in the business and that our luck is gonna run out eventually and that we should get out while we can?” Hobi wondered and you nodded. “Well, this heist could be our chance.”

“Speak for yourself,” Jungkook muttered petulantly. 

“Hoseok-ah’s right,” Namjoon agreed. “This heist would set us up for a while, potentially for forever if Yoongi and Hoseok get you guys enough time and you guys move quick enough inside. It’d be a great last ride, if that’s what you decided that you wanted.”

“I just don’t know if it’s the best thing for us to do,” you admitted.

“Look Y/N-ah,” Jin piped in. “I don’t think that Namjoon would even go to all of the trouble of having Yoongi gather the intel and figure the logistics out if he didn’t trust that we’d make it through this in one piece.”

“I wouldn’t,” Namjoon nodded.

“And you always talk about wanting to be the best in what we do and leaving our mark, and this could help us actually do that,” Jungkook smiled. “When we pull this off, we’ll be known as the only crew to get away with robbing KB Financial. We’ll go down in history as the greatest crew to ever pull off heists.”

“Besides, you know that we won’t do it without you either,” Taehyung pouted. “So come on.” Sighing heavily, you looked over to Jimin to see what he thought, only to see him shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s up to you babe,” he assured you. “But I will say, I do think that we have a good chance.” Nodding slightly, you turned your head to look back at Namjoon, a close-lipped smile on your face.

“I’m in,” you confirmed and the room erupted into loud cheers. Taehyung leaned over and kissed your cheek, which made you groan and wipe it off while Jimin grabbed your other hand in his and intertwined your fingers together. 

“Alright, we’re gonna need to get started on this right away so starting tomorrow morning, mandatory combat and gun training for everyone. No exceptions,” Namjoon announced. “Meeting adjourned.” Everyone began to file out of the room then, while the senior members hung back a little bit.

“KB Financial has some pretty complex security walls, but it shouldn’t be anything that me and you can’t get through,” Yoongi explained to Hoseok, who nodded in understanding. 

“We’re gonna have to brush up on your shooting skills some more Y/N,” Jungkook smirked, quickly groaning when you reached out and smacked him on the back of the neck. 

“Go straight to hell Jungkook,” you sniped. 

“Come on, leave her alone Jungkookie,” Taehyung scolded him. “Come with me to the gun room, so we can see what our supply is looking like.”

“Alright, right behind you hyung,” Jungkook said, reaching out and quickly pulling your ear hard before turning around and running after Taehyung. Yoongi, Seokjin, and Hoseok followed behind them, leaving only you, Jimin and Namjoon in the meeting room.

“What the fuck is up with you Joon?” You demanded to know, dropping any of the respect that you usually try to show him in front of the juniors, only speaking to him as your oldest and closest friend now. “You just deciding on jobs without conferring with me first?”

“Well, technically, I don’t have to confer with you at all,” Namjoon smiled as he leaned back against the large table, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yoongi’s my second in command, so that’s who I conferred with about all of this.”

“Yeah, but I’m head assassin,” you spat. “You know that any job like this, I’d be lead on it.”

“I do know that, and that’s why I thought it’d be good for us,” Namjoon said. “For you.”

“For me?” You echoed. 

“Yeah. Does the gang know yet?” Namjoon questioned and you clamped your mouth shut, numbly shaking your head. “Why haven’t you told them?”

“Because I didn’t want them panicking,” you sighed. “Jimin and I haven’t decided if we’re leaving the organization yet and I’d prefer to hold off on telling them that I’m pregnant until we’ve made a final decision.”

“So you’re keeping it then?” Namjoon guessed, and you and Jimin both nodded in reply.

“We’ve both killed so many people over the years, we couldn’t do it to a baby,” Jimin explained for you. 

“Well, I think that that’s even more reason for the two of you to do this heist then,” Namjoon told you. “Since I’m assuming that one or the both of you will want to get out of the business eventually, this heist could make you guys comfortable for the rest of your lives, and the baby’s too.”

“We know that, but there’s a lot of risk involved to get that comfortability,” Jimin said. 

“I understand,” Namjoon nodded.

“But I said that I’m gonna do it, so I’m gonna do it,” you stated firmly. 

“And wherever she goes, I go too,” Jimin chimed in. 

“Don’t I know it?” Namjoon chuckled. “Alright you two. Get out here for today, and go rest my god child.”

“Sure,” you laughed, moving to turn around but you stopped and looked back to Namjoon. “And Joon? Don’t tell the guys yet?”

“I won’t,” he assured you. Giving him one last smile, you reached down and grabbed Jimin’s hand, the both of you walking out of the meeting room together.

..................................

“Hey you,” Jimin whispered softly, stepping out of the bathroom and pacing over to the bed. You turned over so that you were laying on your back, just in time for Jimin to climb onto the bed and lay on top of you.

“Hey,” you mumbled, reaching down and pushing Jimin’s fringe off of his forehead as he propped his chin up on his hand that rested in between the valley of your breasts.

“You ok? You’ve been quiet since we got home.”

“Just thinking about the KB Financial job,” you admitted quietly. “I know that I said I’d do it but I just still feel like it’s too good to be true, you know?”

“I get it,” Jimin nodded. “You know, you really don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“I know but I said I would and you know how I feel about my word,” you told him. “And besides, I kind of feel like I owe them something if I do decide to leave.”

“If we decide to leave,” he corrected you and you smiled gently at him.

“Jimin, I told you, you don’t have to leave if I do,” you reminded him. 

“No, I do,” he stated firmly. “It won’t be any better if our baby ends up loosing one of us instead of both of us.”

“But at least one of us would still be here,” you shot back and Jimin just shook his head. 

“Y/N-ah, we’ve talked about this,” he muttered. “We both agreed that we don’t want our baby to end up an orphan like how you were, or to be mistreated like I was. There’s a greater chance of both of those things happening if we stay in the organization.”

“I know and I wouldn’t be able to raise this baby without you, but the organization is our whole life,” you pouted. “I’ve been at this for 10 years now, and you for five. That’s a long time.”

“I know, but everyone reaches a point where they have to try new things and this baby is providing an opportunity for us to do that,” Jimin explained. “I know that you’re scared and I am too, but it’s not just us that we have to think about anymore.”

“Ugh, I hate it when you’re right,” you sighed heavily. “So, it’s decided then? We’re leaving?”

“We’re leaving,” Jimin confirmed with a nod. “Now, the only thing left is telling the guys.”

“I’m definitely looking forward to that,” you smiled sarcastically, making Jimin coo at you as he pushed himself forward and left a gentle kiss on your lips. Once he settled back onto your chest, you began to think about the gravity of the decision that you had just made. You knew that you needed to do what was best for the baby and because of that, you didn’t regret your choice but you couldn’t help but to think about what you were giving up. You were leaving the people that took you in, that treated you as one of their own and gave you the love that you had missed since your parents’ death. You didn’t know how the hell you were going to leave all of that behind, or face the guys in order to tell them.

[frankensteined]

i can’t do graphics, but i wanted to throw up some of my loosey-goosey character ideas that i’ve come up with so far anyways, in case anyone would like to plot some stuff in advance, or get an idea of what i’m working on ♥ (names are also loosey-goosey, if they clash with anyone else’s ideas!)

HENRY SAINT-GEORGE - idk exact age yet bc: Old - vampire

fc: idris elba

henry’s an old OC of mine that i’ve repurposed about six or seven times over the years (????). i made him back in...2015? 2016? and he used to be a werewolf, but i’m really digging the vampire ideas here so i’m trying something new with him! 

(also because immortal idris elba is the best idris elba, lbr)

his bloodline is TBA 

he doesn’t remember much about his life before he was sired, just that it wasn’t pleasant, and he doesn’t feel like it’s been much of a loss to put it behind him; that said, every now and again he’ll meet someone that he gets a sense of deja vu over, and he’ll assume they remind him of someone he knew way back when, and he’ll be begrudgingly invested in them

because he barely remembers his own origins, he’s taken it upon himself to try to remember all that he can about other people. this has served him pretty well over the years, both as an attentive and considerate ally, and as a ruthless and daunting adversary

he loves the written word, and has definitely, 100% written a whole slew of novels over the years under various pennames. and, yeah, absolutely has written some terrible supernatural romance novels over the decades. he’s not sorry about it :’)

huge dorky fan of museums and art galleries; he spends way too much money in the gift shops of every one he’s been to

manners are capital-i Important to him

as is honesty. don’t lie to him, he’ll take it personally.

can’t help his paternal ~vibes~, and has definitely sired some bby vamps before, so if you’re looking for a vampire dad: *finger guns* lemme know

lived in england for most of his life/existence, but headed over to salem for funsies after the revolt happened; liked it so much that he stayed!

idk what his official occupation is right now, but he’s definitely still writing, and has a shelf of a lot of the books he’s written under various pseudonyms

MAURA VAYNE - 37 - witch

fc: rebecca ferguson

she’s a new character i’m working on, so there’s a chance that some of these things will change, but i’ve got a pretty good grasp of her right now!

her witch type is also TBA

she’s a native of salem, and has been living her best life since the revolt

honestly, before, when she needed to hide her magic, she was quiet and reserved, and considered a bit of an eccentric oddball, but since then she’s broken out of her shell (like a selina kyle in batman returns kind of readjustment), and she’s now more assertive and playful (and a bit meddling, too, tbh)

owns an equally eccentric oddball shop that’s half antique store and half is pawn shop

used to be married/ in a long-term relationship, and is still sore about it falling apart, even though it’s been a while (so if anyone needs a literal witch of an ex-wife, lemme know!)

a huge supporter of vengeance; ironically, not in her own life, but she’s definitely that friend who encourages you to get revenge against someone that hurt you, bc You Deserve It!

loves games of all sorts: cards, chess, board games...even the dreaded Uno: Destroyer Of Friendships

loves coffee, but collects teapots *shrug*

definitely also has a collection of all sorts of like...traditional “witchy” things you’d find in a salem giftshop, or a spirit halloween store, because she has always found them amusing and endearing, in a misguided kinda way

could use a familiar? so, if anyone needs a witch for their shifter...!!

???? - ??? - ???!!

honestly, just knowing that i can have one more face claim reserve is Haunting me, so trust that i will eventually have a third character as well

i just have a mess of ideas and none of them are settled yet

so if anyone needs has any characters that they need, i’m also open to suggestions! i’m mostly interested in playing characters in their thirties and up, but could be nudged to playing someone in their late twenties if the plot is right! 

this is basically one big TBA space because i’m indecisive but love plotting: a deadly combination, tbh

if anybody would like to plot, or even just chat, feel free to shoot me a mesaage on here, or on discord: frankencourt#8865

@cihrp

[nananikki-hey]

Talk Sick

Chapter One

Chishiya x Reader

4.9K Words

Only the first 1.7K words bellow, please read the rest on Ao3!

Tokyo was dark, eerie and pitch-black in a way it had never been before, in a way that left you feeling cold and shaking as you padded down the road on unsteady steps. Or maybe that was just the wind on your damp skin (damp with sweat or blood, you didn’t want to be sure) and the tangy taste of blood still on your tongue that made you feel disgusted right down to your core.

Try as you might, you could hardly remember what had happened in the last few hours. It was all just blurs, pleading screams you couldn't understand, that desperate fear in your gut that burned you from the inside out and made you capable of things you didn't want to be capable of ever again.

And red.

So much red.

You thought maybe it was better that the last clear thing you could really recall was your friends’ smiling and laughing faces, as they raced into the salt water at one of the many beaches Chiba had to offer, and left you sitting in content under an umbrella on the sand. Even then, you chose not to really remember, because you doubted it’d give you answers to any of your questions anyway. Because Tokyo was dark.

And you were all alone.

Cradling the arm in a cast to your stomach (because it ached, and you were cold) you stumbled down a lifeless street with no real aim to where you were going, you just wanted far away from that red covered room and the guilt that sat heavy on you there. Gripped tightly in your other hand was a playing card and phone you picked up and hadn’t really payed any mind to after it had chimed that simple “Game Clear”, it wasn’t like you could read anything else on it anyway, and it barely functioned enough as a torch to see your feet. You didn’t know where you were, your feet had carried you for hours already and they hurt with each ‘slap, slap, slap’ against the concrete, and you didn’t know where you were going. But you were tired, and your ears rang.

And Tokyo was quiet.

You just wanted to sleep, and wake up from this nightmare.

Waking up sprawled in the backseat of a car that isn’t yours the next morning, a crick in your neck, arms stiff, leaves you confused for a moment. You just lay there and stare at the roof for what feels like an eternity to try and remember how you got there. The screams came back unbidden, muddy and distant, yet you can’t shut them out fast enough – ending up curled up like a spring and biting your hand to stifle the sobs that make your chest tight for an agonising hour. Then as you quietly unfurl, wipe your eyes, and feel already rough dried tear-tracks; you’re hit with the sour sense of deja vu as you remember crying yourself to sleep just like this the night before.

You had wandered for hours, through the night and hoped to find someone, anyone that could answer your questions. Deep down you were hoping that you just weren’t truly alone now, after the death of so many, but inevitably had given up. You’d found the closest unlocked door, climbed in, and gone to sleep with pleads for it to be a dream on your quivering lips.

Now – when the quiet world outside was still there, overrun with grass and decay, and the physical reminders still stained your skin red – you couldn’t deny it anymore. Tokyo had gone empty of thousands of people, leaving you and (hopefully) a few others in a situation you were sure most would call apocalyptic. But you decide now wasn't the time to think about that, not to dwell and mope and sulk, now was the time to focus on fixing the little things.

Big things would come later (and so would the panic).

You popped the door open and climb out onto bare, unsteady feet as you take a second to look around and maybe figure out where exactly you were; somewhere still in Tokyo, that you knew. You and your friends had wandered around on your first week of vacation enough to have a vague idea of where you were, but you didn’t live here and you certainly didn’t speak the language. So without any of those signs that helpfully included English underneath the Japanese, you had no idea where to start.

“Well…” Your voice was worn, croaky and dry. You didn’t want to think about how it was from all the screaming yesterday. “Small things first… I need to learn how to read.”

You had heard a lot of things about what talking to yourself meant; that it was a sign you’d gone crazy, that it was a good way to work through problems, or that it was even a sign of trauma. Right now you are more inclined to think it was a mixture of all, but what would you know? You weren’t a psychologist.

You looked to the phone still gripped tight in your free hand, pressing the button to bring up the display and glance over the things you could see. The app icons you could understand well enough; a camera, settings, the time, and a gallery for whatever photos or videos you would take. The problem came with the two others. While clearly marked ‘Game’ and ‘VISA’ in English, once you tapped into them the display was mostly Hiragana and Kanji, and the scarce few Katakana you could read weren’t helpful. You’re being naively hopeful right now, you knew, but you weren’t stupid; you figured they were a count of what ‘games’ you had played and, being on a travel VISA already, a VISA for whatever this world around you was (be it another one entirely, the future, or some sort of illusion didn’t matter anymore). Still, seeing the single Heart sign staring back at you made your gut churn uncomfortably, you weren’t going to trust anything in this world at face value anymore. Not when a simple game of catch turned into a one-sided massacre right before your eyes.

So, you decided then and there that the first thing to do was to find a bookstore and track down a Japanese-English Dictionary and start translating every little clue this phone could give. You pause with a shiver, remember that you were still only dressed in your swimmers from yesterday, and sigh.

“Clothes… I’ll need clothes.”

You tucked the phone into the safety of your top, not wanting to risk losing it, and set off. Tokyo is huge, and still as empty as it was before, but with the sun out it’s much easier to find your way around even when you can’t read the signs.

It takes hours, hours that feel gruelling and hopeless and wear at you with every bookshop you find that doesn’t have a guide you can read, but eventually you find what you’re set out to on the bottom shelf in the back of an older bookstore. The store was small, cramped with books, mostly old and full of dust; it’s the type you could picture a small old lady with a welcoming smile to run but seeing it now just makes you feel like the city is just that more empty. But you take the book, sit down right where you are and pull out the phone to rest it on your knee in one fluid motion. Then start flipping through the yellow pages.

You are halfway through the second word in the VISA display when you realise it probably would have been better to find a pen and something to write on before starting, because translating into Romaji then translating into English word-by-word was going to have you getting something wrong. You tuck the phone back where it belongs, hold the book under your cast arm and go off in search of things to write on. You’re lucky, because right across the street is a decent sized Mall, so you know your search will be quick. You go in also hoping to find some clothes along the way.

Which you do. One of the first stores past the coffee shops and little diners at the entrance is a niche little clothing store, with a sign in kanji you can’t read. You almost hesitate at the door, the thought of stealing weighing on you. But you remember the screams, the blood – this world wasn’t going to be nice to you, so why would you be nice back? - then you’re picking up the first backpack you see and stuffing it with clothes. But only a few.

You don’t know what these ‘Games’ are yet, and you’re not naive enough to think it’s a one-and-done deal, so what you grab is practical more then fashion. Sweat pants and a jacket for weather, underwear, shorts, a shirt with a design you didn't pay too much attention to, to change into now. You find and duck into a bathroom, locking the main door without bothering with a stall (because you might not have run into anyone yet, but if apocalypse type movies have taught you anything, never leave yourself vulnerable). Just as you start to strip, you catch your own reflection in the wall wide mirror and freeze; you’d been ignoring it, the blood that had dried and flaked onto your arms, your face, your swimmers, everywhere. But seeing it now there was more then you imagined, almost more blood then bare skin and it makes you’re stomach churn. You all but lunge for the sink, turning the tap frantically and collapsing to your knees when nothing comes out, not even a pity drop.

Now that you had seen it, you could feel it. The crusty dryness that clung to you like a second skin, between your toes and even fingers. You wanted it off, the proof that people had died around you, had died because of you. You didn’t want to see it, you didn’t want to feel it, you didn't want it.

“Please… Please…”

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Thin Ice Pt2 || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Y/N and Peter’s slippery interaction on the ice leads to the beginning of a friendship.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s note: Sorry this part took so long I’ve been studying for my midterms! Also, this is one of the last times Y/N nerds out over snowboarding so I promise, I won’t have as many confusing references or anything like that! Also also, thank you to everyone who requested more parts and wanted to be added to the tag list! I’m super glad yall are enjoying this series! 

Warning: Swearing!! But ughhhh that’s it

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || to be continued 

You grabbed your skates from the counter and sat down on a wooden bench next to Cindy who was already done lacing up. The snow had stopped falling and left complete fluffy powder in its place and the air wasn’t as harsh or crisp as yesterday was. 

This was Cindy’s big moment to shine; she was never seen as an athlete but boy did she love to show off when it came to her ice skating skills. You, on the other hand, weren’t the best at ice skating which didn’t really make sense to your friends since it’s kinda like snowboarding in terms of balancing. Nonetheless, you weren’t going to be the only person sitting out while the rest of your classmates had fun so you did your best to participate gracefully. 

After getting your skates on (with much help from Cindy and Betty), you slowly got onto the ice and hung onto the wooden fencing. 

You were all out there for almost two hours and you wondered when Mr. Harrington would call it quits for today but he was nowhere to be seen which worried you. This was your first-time ice skating outside on an actual lake and you were terrified you would fall through but the girls convinced you that you were just being paranoid. 

“ Uhm, where is the trusted adult chaperone? I didn’t spend my savings trying just to slip through the ice and die,” You said in a jocking tone but the girls knew you were somewhat serious. 

“ I don’t blame you, you’re probably still traumatized after Peter practically ran you over yesterday,” Cindy replied as she skated backwards so she could face you and Betty. 

You held on to Betty’s hand tighter as some kids who couldn’t be older than eight whizzed by you. You felt your subconscious say to stick your leg out and trip them but you pushed those dark thoughts aside and tried to keep your cool.

 You kept looking at the ground just in case you saw any cracks in the ice but you still rolled your eyes at Cindy. 

“ For the last time, it was an accident. Besides, I think I look badass,” You pushed out your bottom lip and revealed the small gash from yesterday that was still healing,” I just hope Peter isn’t beating himself up about it.”

While the girls conversed with one another, Peter and Ned skated several feet away as Peter listened in on the conversation with his ‘spidey hearing’. He couldn’t help himself but when he started to feel guilty, he turned to Ned. 

“ Maybe I should go talk to her. I don’t want her to think I forgot about what happened cause I feel-”

“ Insanely guilty yes, you’ve said it almost a hundred times within the last hour,” Ned interrupted as he shook his head,” but of course she didn’t forget. She has a huge cut on her lip to remind her what happened.” 

Once again, Peter felt another wave of guilt before MJ skated beside him. He watched as your group skated further away and he felt his legs slow down. Say what you will about MJ, but she wasn’t the type to thrive off of people’s pain and suffering especially when her close friend was whining about a girl. 

“ Don’t let this get to your head Peter, but she couldn’t stop talking about you last night in the hotel room. It’s safe to say that she forgives you indefinitely,” MJ said plainly as if that wasn’t the best news Peter could’ve heard. 

Peter stopped in his tracks completely,” Are you serious? What did she say about me? Please please please tell me-”

“ Parker!” Cindy shouted as she bumped into him harshly which caused you and Betty to fall over towards Cindy.

You and Betty both fell onto your hands and knees as you thanked the universe that you didn’t smash your face in once again. 

You ignored the gasps from your friends as you tried to push yourself up with your hands. Your legs wobbled and you gave up, sinking to your knees to avoid further embarrassment.  As MJ and Cindy helped Betty up, Peter rushed over on his skates and slid over to you with his hands out. 

“ Y/N, I am the worst person in the world I’m sorry,” Peter apologized and you felt like you were having major deja vu. 

You reached up towards Peter as he lifted you back onto your feet but since he pulled you up so fast, you fell forward again, leaning up against his chest. Peter stabilized his feet and held onto your waist, making sure you didn’t take both of you down. 

You hung onto his shoulders as you pressed up against him more, your feet shifting nervously. While you could hide your blush against his chest, your friends could all see that the cold wasn’t the only thing making his face looked flushed. 

Peter’s mind was buzzing as you squeezed him tighter; oh my fucking god this is really happening right now. 

“ Y/N, um, you can open your eyes. You’re not going to fall,” Peter consoled you softly as you nodded, opening your eyes. 

You looked up at Peter and you pulled away when you realized how you were mere centimeters from his face. You let go of his shoulders and instinctively grabbed his hand instead so you didn’t fall over again. Peter looked down at you hands and gave you a reassuring squeeze. 

“ Thanks, Pete. I guess you redeemed yourself from yesterday,” You gushed as you looked down at your interlocked fingers. Even though you were both wearing gloves, you still felt weird holding his hand in front of everyone to see. 

You pulled away and awkwardly dropped your arms to the side as Mr. Harrington called out that it was time to explore the shops in the snow village. You gave one last look at Peter and smiled softly before shuffling over to the exit with Betty and Cindy. 

“ Ooooo Y/N and Peter sitting-”

You turned to Cindy and you weren’t sure if it was the soreness of your feet or how little sleep you got last night but your playful push turned into a hard one as you pushed Cindy into the snow with a soft thud. Cindy whined as you and Betty rushed to help her up to her feet. 

“ What were you saying?” Betty teased as Cindy let out a mocked laugh. 

“ Ha ha way to treat your friends.” 

After lunch, Mr. Harrington set all the students loose to look around the shops. Each had their own little gimmick like On the Edge Snowwear or Snowbunnies R Us.

You bent down to be eye level with one of the shelves that had a colorful array of snow goggles and studied the snow goggles as if it was the Mona Lisa. As you picked one up, you watched Brad come over to you from the corner of your eye but you kept your attention to the shelf. 

“ Really? Another pair of goggles? You have almost a dozen at home,” Brad said as he clicked his tongue and took the one you were holding out of your hand,” oh my god Y/N these cost more than the plane ticket!”

You grabbed the goggles back from him and shook your head,” They’re not just any goggles, they’re limited edition from the 2018 winter Olympics, see?” 

You pointed at the band on the side of the goggles and showed him the rings with the flag of South Korea beside it. 

Every student at Midtown had their own obsession; Flash was into expensive cars and was always at car shows during the weekends, Betty’s skin was always glowing because she’s completely obsessed with  Korean facemasks and feels the need to have collections of the same one, and Peter was strangely in love with Spiderman because he would always talk about how cool he was and asking everyone around him if they felt the same way. 

Your weird obsession was snowboarding and watching food ASMR videos but you decided to keep one of those things a secret. 

“ It was the year for snowboarding I mean come on, Shaun White won the most snowboarding medals at one Winter Olympics and Chloe Kim brought home the gold she’s our age!” 

You pulled out your phone and took a picture of the goggles before putting them back on the shelf. You could tell how disinterested Brad was but that didn’t stop you from taking a picture of the whole shelf altogether. 

When you stood back up, you looked across the shop and watched Peter and Ned laughing over one of the corny t-shirts on the rack. Peter felt your gaze on him but when he looked up at you, you moved your gaze to a random shelf. 

Brad looked at Peter and then back at you,” Is there something going on between you and Parker?” 

“ What makes you say that?” You asked as you walked over to the window where you watched MJ slam a pile of snow into Flash’s face. 

You knew exactly what he was asking but you had already put that embarrassment behind you and you didn’t want to relive it. 

“ You two were pretty cuddly on the ice this morning. Just be careful, I don’t want him to hurt you again.”

There was something a little harsh in Brad’s voice and you already knew something was up with him. Brad’s temper was always like rolling a pair of dice; some days nothing annoyed him while other days would set him over the edge. 

Whenever he used that voice, that meant you got the luxury of deciding how he would be handled in that place and time. 

“ Careful now, you sound a bit jealous,” You said, almost studying his face as he clenched his jaw,” what’s going on inside that head of yours Davis?” 

“ Why would I be jealous of him?” He asked bitterly as you put your hands up in defense,” I’m telling you to be careful or you’re going to end up in the medic station again.”

There was something definitely wrong but you were already so tired from this morning and decided not to fight this battle. 

“ Hey look, I’m just playing around. Is something wrong?” 

Brad ignored you, turned around, and pushed through the doors as he left you standing there in the middle of the store. You didn’t bother chasing after him because you knew how he was when he was annoyed. Besides, you were on this trip to have fun, not babysit. 

 You looked around the store and when you made eye contact with Peter again, you decided to put your embarrassment aside and walk over to him. 

“ I couldn’t help but notice your burning gaze from across the room,” You teased as Peter laughed,” tell me, do you come here often?” 

He was glad that there was nothing awkward between the two of you, especially considering what had happened this morning with how close the two of you were. He set down the snowglobe he picked up and stuffed his hands in his pocket, trying to get the image out of his head before his whole face turned red. 

“ Oh sure. I love spending my free time at a store called Tis the Ski-son boutique.”

He followed you as you both walked out of the store side by side, leaving with no other purchases. Peter wrapped his scarf around him tighter, even though he was slightly embarrassed for being cold (which of course didn’t make any sense) while you breathed in the cool air. 

You watched your feet as you listened to the snow crunch from underneath you, almost getting lost in an icy trance. 

Time always felt slower when it snowed outside and yet, this trip was going by so fast. You only had a few more days left before the trip would be over and you knew you would miss it already. 

You watched Peter who looked so uncomfortable out in the cold and tried to find a store to settle in for a bit. 

“ Edgewater Cafe has really good hot chocolate if you want to check it out?” You offered as Peter nodded his head, almost too eagerly. 

You and Peter had quickly shuffled over to the cafe and once you got inside, you could feel Peter melt beside you, feeling at peace in the warm coco shop. When you ordered for the both of you, Peter insisted that he paid and even slapped your hand away while you tried to give the cashier your card. 

He claimed it was his treat but you both knew it was a way to apologize for both yesterday and today’s events. 

Peter found a quiet area in the corner and sat on one side of the couch as you took the other. You both brought the cup to your lips at the same time but you watched him as he took a small sip with his eyes closed. 

“ So, what do you think?” You asked as you took a sip, savoring the rich chocolate. 

Peter nodded and took another sip before putting resting the cup back onto his thigh,” Okay, it’s not bad but I wouldn’t say it’s the best.” 

“ Oh come on! Where else can you get hot chocolate this gourmet?” 

“ If by gourmet you mean a cocoa mix with boiling water then yeah, I guess it is gourmet.”

You shook your head at him as you took another sip, not caring what he thought. You watched Peter as he rubbed his finger up and down against the cup as if he was deep in thought.

Out of nowhere, Peter’s heart started to race and he was glad that you couldn’t tell the difference. It finally hit him that you two were hanging out alone, which rarely ever happened unless you two were doing a school project or shared the same subway home. 

You felt this too and decided to break the tension,” This isn’t weird, right? Like us hanging out? Alone?” 

Yes. 

“ No, why would it be weird?” Peter asked as his voice cracked slightly. 

You shrugged and took another sip before putting the cup down on the table. This was definitely weird but for some reason, you didn’t mind. You had a pretty good radar on people and Peter never seemed like a creep so you felt at ease. 

“ I don’t know to be honest. We’re classmates but I never really knew if we were friends or not,” You admitted as you watched Peter’s smile fall,” I mean, do you want to be friends with me?”

You shook your head and laughed, your mind processing what you had just offered,” I know that sounds childish like we’re in kindergarten or something but yeah, I guess what I’m saying is that I think we should be friends. Does that sound childish?” 

Peter didn’t know what to think. He felt like he had just gotten friend-zoned but on the other hand, being friends was a step up from what you two originally were. 

Of course, Peter wanted to just spill everything about his not so small crush on you but relationships take time. If he had to wait and be friends with you, he would gladly take that. 

“ It does sound childish..but yeah. I want to be friends with you,” Peter said as you both shared a sweet smile,” does this mean we have to make friendship bracelets or something?”

“ I’m two steps ahead of you Pete,” You picked up your cup which was almost empty by now and lifted it up towards Peter,” how about a toast...to new friendships.” 

Peter lifted his cup and pressed it against yours as his heart slammed against his ribcage,” To new friendships.” 

@yeahimcrying @greatpizzascissorstaco @mysticalbanshee @weyheyavengers @infinityflamesworld @peterparkoure @fandom-fangirl22​ @holland-in-disguise

[goatpaste]

WC design/headcannon/ect masterlist- Part B

another chunk of all the headcanos/AU’s/design notes/warrior names for kits and leaders never given a canon one/ect for all the wario cats!

this one is for all the B named cats!

info under the cut

Badgerfang

badgerfang i think a lot of us have a big ol soft spot for, but ought i really care him and his family i think it needs more than jusT the badgerfang death like for real

one of the biggest reasons i wanna learn to animate is because i wanna make a badgerfang and flintfang amv! it would be sdkg more about flintfang because i think he’s a neat character who has a lot of potential for development 

like mAN you ever stop and think about not only was flintfang sad over badgerfangs death because it was sad, bUT also because badgerfang was his sisters kit AND to the thought of blackstar is flintfangs brother. flintfang had to deal with playing a hand in badgerfangs death then watch his brother loyally follow brokenstar, then tigerstar 🥺

Baypaw

baypaw was the first of his lil chunk of family i design, i didnt have a sorrelstripe design made yet so i ultimately decided to base his design on his grandpa Lionblaze. smaller fluffy lionblaze.

I know we should be coming up to baypaw getting their warrior name soon

i think a name like Baysong or Baygale

Beech Tail

the only thing i have  to say is dgjksh when i designed the ‘beech’ prefix designs it was late and i totally went ‘beech... the beach’ and noT beech the tree sdjkgh. so i designed beech tail like that of a penguin sdjkgh

Beechfur

beechfur , riverclan warrior under mistystar’s leadership

i imagine beechfur is be EXTREMely accident prone, from the first instant of getting sick and healed by leafpool all the way up till the end. He is in and out of the medicine cats den constantly. and through this formed a big ol crush on the pretty medicine cat apprentice Willowshine who has had to full on decline his feelings. he is not the only one who has had this treatment, many a riverclan cats have found themself charmed by willowshine

Beechpaw

Beechpaw, a apprentice of ancient skyclan who were forced to leave the forest territory.  i imagine beechpaw was of the few cats who did everything he could to keep the others in good spirit while they tried to find their home, which often came to the annoyance of all his distraught clanmates. he never stopped doing all he could to put a smile on their face until he died.

he was the last apprentice cloudstar named a warrior and only lived a few moons after becoming one.

warrior names i like for him are like Beechshed or Beechshine

Beenose

slight update to my beenose design because i want her to fit my newer darktail group clown aesthetic 

another design note is her and her siblings all are themed after a diff color of the rainbow, beenose is yellow. their mom snowbird has a pale rainbow pattern and each other her kits is a diff color of the rainbow

Beetlewhisker

Beetlewhisker is another one of my quiet favorites i have, and it is because of the error of him being alive for SO many books after he died.

like !!! bitch had a HUGE major death and went on to live for a long time aND be listed as a cats mentor (which i think that has been changed now)

i love the idea of in a way beetlewhisker WAS with the clans that long after his death. that due to his death was in a way locked in the dark forest, his soul stuck there. but because of the ways of the dark forest cat’s he was chased out, and unable to enter starclan having died in the dark forest, now cursed to live in limbo.

He walks to the grounds of riverclan watching over his clanmates while they rest hoping that no one else is to be preyed upon by the dark forest like he was ever again. 

theres ghost stories of riverclan cats seeing the shape of a cat shining brightly when hit by moonlight. a peaceful spirit of the past who protects them.

and in design 100% his design was made to look like that of a smeleton bones lol

Bellaleaf

the erin team will have to pry bellaleaf and firestar being siblings from my cold dead hands!!

you can’t say they look basically exactly alike and their not related i wont take it sdjkg. i DIE for the idea oh whore jake managing to have so many kids that get into the clans. like the over saturation of jake dna through the clans ruining them absolutely kills me sdjkg

i also imagine ravenpaw having like deja vu of firestar when he looks at bella, cats who knew firestar look at her and can’t help feel she reminds them of someone. 

Berryheart

another one of the designfor snowbirds kits, berryheart is the red themed sibling.

she also got a slight design change to be more clowny to fit her time in darktail’s group

Berrynose

i just love berrynose, i think hes very terrible and i love him a lot

i think the books are cowards and i think berrystar woulda been the fUNniest outcome oR like

imagine the powermove if berrynose lived and squirrelflight fucking made berrynose her deputy likE

also berrynose is a lil gay brat, he has a thick country accent and everyone find him weirdly charming. many hate him but cant help but find him alluring. 

he actually is a very good warrior, he stays on top of his task and brings in the prey. his biggest problem is his ego and his need to get in others faces all the time

i love when he’s paired with lionblaze because their stupid rivarly is so good i really wish it was more plot important and lasted longer i LIVE for best friend rivals lion and berry

buT i also love him with jayfeather for the simple dynamic of the one cat who would probably hate him more than anyone else but oops he’s in love to

or him and breezepelt because they could be lil shitheads togeather

Birchface

the biggest thing i can say about birchface is 100% birchface watched over mapleshade’s kits, doesnt let appledusk or his own family hurt them. He treats them like his own.

in AU’s where birchface lives i defiantly can see him having a HUGE crush on mapleshade and being much like thrushpelt was to bluefur. being as a surrogate dad for her kits and keeping the secret.

in my main AU with mapleshade dieing and getting a redemption its mostly the same except they become a sweet happy family together in starclan.

he’s a big goofy dad type and his father had hoped he would become leader one day, but worried that he was too lax with the code and not as driven to fight as others and began to think he would have to rely on frecklewish instead. then they both died and he ended up turning to his youngest son pinefur

Blade

this is just a one time ghost cat buT  i like the design i made for her.

im all here for dark forest cats having this black oozing mark from where they died, starclan gets being covered in stardust and maybe having from pretty plats or glow or other representative stuff on their death. but ghost cats are loUD with their mark of death. its a nagging weight they carry around based on their inability to move on to their respective afterlives. For blade its giant bright red tire marks that slowly circle around her body.

Blazefire

just a lil boy

i imagine he kinda constantly has crushes on cats from other clans which while some might tell him to hush when he shares his thoughts on the pretty cat from riverclan he gets some loving teasing from dovewing and antfur

Blazefire is also miss nearly all of his tail

Blizzardstar and Blizzardwing

not much here but to say 100% i designed blizzardwing in mind of being that of a grandson or great grandson to blizzardstar

Blossomfall

shrug idk a lot to say about her beyond, i know she’s a asshole character but i remember liking her, i think she’s mean but its kinda fun in a way

i think i also just have this soft spot for millies kits because their millie’s

also i just like my blossomfall design i think she’s v fun

Blossomkit

another shadowclan kit who died under brokenstar’s ruling.

i think as sad as it is, i can imagine blossomkit to be badgerfang’s sister, just another sad thing to think about for fernshade’s litter. the potential idea of all her kit’s dying because of brokenstar

a warrior name for her that would been cute woulda been like Blossomglaze or blossomsprout

Bluebellkit

bluebellkit sure disappeared from the books. she’s one of those kits that like, she already had a mouth full of a name and i wish i coulda seen what they woulda named her as a warrior

but she’s another one of snowbird’s rainbow themed kids, her ofc being the blue one.

i think a cute warrior name for her could been Bluebellwhistle or bluebellfoot

Blouder

i lobe boulder i think he is very under appreciated!! 

i think it be very fun to get a novella or something in this POV,,

he’s just hangin out back there yknow,,,

Bouncefire

(bit of an art change from here as i took a break between these two and switched programs)

idk a lot about actual bouncefire, i think the only books with any real characterization in it was ones i havent read

buT id really like to imagine growing up he saw his mentor patchfoot as a father figure and was ultimately the reason patchfoot and his mom got together. and bouncefire being absolutely ecstatic about it. thinking patchfoot is the coolest guy

bouncefire gets along good with his half siblings

gay cat and wanna be emo but just is kinda angy

Brackenfur

my biggest brackenfur AU is my medicat brackenfur which i have info of here

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/631020627780911104/au-where-insteed-of-fireheart-picking-up

and

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/632972589046890496/mmm-writing-out-like-big-plot-point-changes-in-my

the other thing vaguely mention in these but would probably be more prominent in his og story

but brackenfur is quietly the biggest mess in the family. Being on pare with confidence and energy as cinderpelt when they were young, after her accident somethin changed for him. he loved his sister but is a big distant. but its hardly noticeable between the two as they worked very separate jobs in the clan

then his other sister, brightpaw has her accident and brackenfur begins to question something

but when he his the last to leave in the thunderclan group to their new home he stops and looks back at his mother frostfur who is old and frail look, though she wasnt young the damage of the forest hit her hard. 

this when brackenfur decides starclan has it out for his family, especially the mollies. they were cursed he was sure.

moons later he is expecting his kits with sorreltail, letting his mind rest on the idea, the crazy notion that some greater force wanted the she-cats in his family dead. 

then the day his kits arrive cinderpelt dies to the badgers. he pushes down these feelings down again it was the time. But he couldn’t help but think that, if leafpool was there, if starclan had given them a sign of the badgers, anything. maybe cinderpelt might have lived. but he pushes it back down and tells himself it was a warriors death

and then his daughter, cinderpaw is struck by the tree and the stirring in his mind grows stronger. why has starclan done this to his family

then honeyfern gets bit by the snake. how could starclan be so cruel, their always so young.

then his sweet sorreltail fought strongly for her two young daughters future

and on his own, forced to watch seedpaw drown and lilypaw be haunted by what happened.

the women in brackenfurs family is cursed and he bears the burden of relizing it, of living and watching each of them suffer until the end

to the ones that lived and are happy still, with no burdens in their lives he watches happily making sure NOTHING bad comes their way. he would fight starclan themselves to make sure his family is safe and happy

Breezepelt

in design Breezepelt has a p average length tail. which for him is a huge disappointment. His father crowfeather has a long slender windclan tail, a trait that is held to high standards in his family. a trait passed all the way down from windstar herself who had the longest and most beautifully windy tail. 

Breezepelt has a angry spot about this because he feels lacking and especially disconnected to his father. BUT double this with jayfeather having only half windclan blood has a tail even longer than crowfeathers 

i also would NOT put breezepelt with heathertail, i dont see any reason for it. like first off this bitch gay, id love for him to have a boyfriend and it think it should be berrynose because one, their both terrible i think it be funny and i also think its funny to ship berrynose with lionblaze or jayfeather so im like, whats another brother (to be clear not shipped all together, this is separately) and two, the idea heathertail and poppyfrost lesbian could exist

then the big BIg thing is, i would take breezepelts character and gut what happened in crowfeathers trial out of both him and crowfeather

i talk about it a bit here, but i think ill re talk about it in full when i get to crowfeather https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/190544981670/breezepelt

Briarlight

miss briarlight i love you!!

very sweetgirl

i based her design off sakuras and bleed heart doves. idk what possessed me but when i went to design her i knEW she was gonna be pink she needed to be she deserved it

briarlight buff as shit in her forlegs she loves trying to rope leafpool and jayfeather into lil strength contest she always wins (sometimes she will let leafpool win on days she needs it) 

her and jayfeather are wlw/mlm best friends. jayfeather calls her pidge which started as a mean nickname that she simply loved and embraced fully

also in my AU with medicat lionblaze i can very much see briarlight and lionblaze being very sweet friends. like big strong lionblaze who is actually docile and compassionate about his work and briarlight loud and rooting him on

Brick

swear to god until i got back into warrior cats this year i had always thought brick was a lady and her and bone were suppous to be scourges like adoptive bad parents jkdg

anyways im still with that, she/her agender brick who adopts their terrible son scourge and is in a monogamous partnership with bone’s. strictly business defiantly not married, they just have a son together. 

Brindlewing

idk a ton about her, but from her wiki it dsjkgh doesnt look like theirs  alot

but i’d like to imagine she’s a very anxious girl and struggles in crowds especially around cat she doesn't know. she feels more comfortable when one of her sisters is with her or her grandmother nightcloud. Nightcloud has always been a source of self confidence for her and they love each very much.

Brindlewing also inherited crowfeather’s family long tail that skipped breezepelt. Brindlewing holds the tail in her mouth as a means of helping her anxiety.

Bristlefrost

a biG design overhaul for my bristlefrost design, i really didnt like the old design i made her. wanted her to be a lil darker colored and in general have a cuter design

i gave her diff color eyes to mark her double agent status one eye green like her fathers and the other sharing the same blue i use for ashfur’s eye color

i kept her with the one white paw which i give to any descendent of jake, just because canonically she is ivy and ferns kid.

but in my rewrite their not togeather. Fernsong was a kittypet or a loner who had lost their mate and home and was found by ivypool caring for his three kittens alone. this is more fernsong headcanon, but bristlefrost is there

bristle and all the kits love ivypool they look up to her big time and all wished she was their mentor when they became apprentices. 

bristlefrost often confides in her father when feeling guilty or unsure of herself and he is always there for her

Bristlekit

half brother to tallstar

i imagine woolytail’s family seems to have a high mortality rate with their kids with only one maybe two usually making it to adulthood. bristlekit would die before becoming an apprentice and spent time in starclan with finchkit and later rabbitkit waiting for wrenflight and tallstar.

if bristlekit made it to being a warrior id like to think he was named Bristlefeather or Bristlefoot

Brook where small fish swim

teeny update to my brook design to give her small white fish dots matching her brothers spots

her general design is mean to be loosely based on a mountain lion. 

she got strong powerful mountain climbing body

i also wish her romance was better developed and wasnt like based in a lot of white savior romance plots given to native and native coded characters

in general the tribe really shoulda just been written better

Brownpaw

brownpaw, brother to littlecloud killed mosspaw as a kit on accident and was apprenticed for it by brokenstar

i imagine him and his brother wetfoot killing mosspaw effect them both deeply. for wetfoot it shook him to the core and made his doubt his own claws

for brownpaw it set him down the path of destruction. brokenstar rewarding him for what happened with mosspaw was the biggest enabler

brownpaw would go on to be a blood thirsty apprentice who would throw his young life away under brokenstars order of attack.

had he been made a warrior i think brokenstar woulda named him Brownmoss claiming he had earned the name when he took it from mosspaw.

Bug

design for bug because i think the book she was in didnt exist when i originally started drawing every warrior cat

love her!

bumblestripe

bumblestripe’s character makes me sad

im SUCH a millie stan and for one of her kids to be disabled then treated like garbage to the end of her life and written super ablest and then her other two kids are total shit heads? makes me sad

i wish at lEAST millie and graystripe had a second little, maybe just one total sweetheart

and its been forever since i read the books. but i remember bumblestripe being a real nobody characters just very generic personality until romance plot for dovewing came into play. and now he super sucks!

i wish he coulda just been a good character who loved dovewing, is sad and kinda jealous of her feelings for tigerheart but in the end respects her decisions and even admires her courage to follow her heart even if it led her over the borders.

Buster/Rippletail

slight buster redesign to fit more in the circus clown look from when he was in the kin

also design note, he’s got an orange themed design to go along with his rainbow themed siblings

Buzzardkit

windclan kit who showed up once in the sight crying and being comforted by a queen

mm i think some good warrior names for them woulda been like

buzzardface, Buzzardshriek or buzzardwhistle