#i guarantee i forgot people because i love so many people

[dclovesdanny]

Something I will never get enough of is Danny killing the Joker. However, something I want to see more of, is Danny killing the Joker for Ellie.

Like, Jason and Danny are neighbors and they’ve been friends for a little while. Jason knows Danny has the 20 something year old mechanic with a six-year-old daughter who is an absolute gremlin. He really likes them both, and he might have a little crush on his neighbor.

Then when they are out at the park or something, the Joker attacks. The joker decides to grab a hostage and who does he grab, but this six year old girl who only seems to have one person who knows her, a scrawny 20 something person. She has dark hair and blue eyes and only person who seems to care about her is her older brother/possible father? Perfect bait for Batman.

He wasn’t counting on Danny being able to fight god for his family. He didn’t realize that Danny will do anything to protect his family, that, in his literal core, he is sworn to protect his people, no matter the cost. the joker did not realize that Danny loves Ellie enough to not only die (again) for her, but to kill for her.

The Joker doesn’t die to Batman, or in some big battle. The Joker dies to a man no one knew because the Joker kidnapped his daughter. The joker dies, because he forgot that not everyone has the same hangups about killing that Batman does. The Joker dies because he pushed a parent too far.

Jason is there during all of this. I think he’s either there as red hood, watching through the cameras, or there is Jason. All three of these have many different pros for various forms of angst.

If Jason is there as red hood, he’s probably with some of the batfamily, and they are holding him back from killing the Joker. They’re trying to figure out how to make it so that the joker won’t kill this little girl, and Jason is going feral because that is his kid. That is the little gremlin who lives next-door, who knocks on his door and treats him like a jungle gym. That’s his kid. When he sees Danny jump at the Joker, he’s going to have a straight up panic attack and he’s gonna get the guns ready, but he doesn’t need to.

If he’s there as Jason, I think the joker would also take him hostage. Jason Wayne, the brat who would get him a lot of money. Especially if the Joker knows that this was the second Robin, because this just means he can get two killed in one swoop. And Jason is trying to protect Ellie with everything in him, cursing himself for not bringing a gun with him and praying that this time Bruce isn’t too late. And he can see the pain in Danny’s eyes and he is so scared to lose this family he has. He praised to a God he doesn’t believe in this time, history won’t repeat itself.

I feel like it would be most painful, if he’s watching through cameras. He’s probably injured or in the middle of doing something for his civilian life . Maybe he’s even out of town, but turned the camera on to look out for the joker, and had a heart attack when he saw the little girl next-door being held by the Joker. This man is trying so hard to get there, breaking every traffic law, praying that he won’t be too late that this won’t be the same as his death. His trauma is excruciating, because this feels like when he was waiting for Bruce and Bruce not getting there until it was too late.

No matter which of these scenarios, he needs to see Danny snap and kill the joker. Maybe, in the camera scenario, it’s just this he arrives that he sees it. Either way, he needs to see the moment, the Joker dies at the head of a single father, and the parallel of Bruce and him and Danny and Ellie need to be very apparent. Because this time the dad wasn’t afraid to kill.

This is the moment I feel, Jason would fully acknowledge that he would do anything for these people. That these two neighbors of his have become his family. The moment he sees the two of them holding each other, and the jokers body at their feet, I guarantee you this man is fighting tooth and nail not to go over his red hood exposed them. if he’s Jason, he can run into hug them no problem, but if he’s red hood, he’s not going to be able to do that.

This man will fight with Batman if he even that should get in trouble for killing the Joker. He will threaten to never ever speak to Bruce ever again, will be ready to bribe the police into letting Danny go, we will race every camera footage out there of the event, will do anything for this family.

Later that day, he won’t have nightmares of the Joker for the first time in a while. He will be able to look at his family and rest easy, knowing that there’s no way that Joker can take them from him.

[blingblong55]

My Love, Mine all mine -Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Based on a request:

"Broken men know who to love, but not how to love. Broken women know how to love, but not who to love." This is so Simon related 🥺🥺

---- F!Reader, fluff ----

A/N: Because he isn't always some tough masked solider, he is a man with wounds and a life beyond the battle field

It wasn't a shared feeling, he knew that well. You and he had stayed up and talked about a future like you had a clue. He knew your issues, love isn't what you want at times, you miss it, want it, but sometimes just at times, you can't give in to it, in fear of something greater that you don't know about. The smoke of his cigarette gave his not-so-secret hiding spot away. "Better not ask for my jumper again, doll," he knew you were there, knew those steps all too well. You chuckle, "You have to be some superhero," you sit beside him. He shrugs, "Just a mere mortal," he smiles. Silence between you two, speaking the words lips fail to say.

Simon knew you he was meant to love you, but not ever meant to show it. And just as he was about to speak, you rested your head on his shoulder. Classic way to ask for his jumper because you once again forgot your own. "No, not this time, I'm sick today," he excuses. "What if I get sick?" you ask and he chuckles. "You can never get sick darling, remember New Year's Day last year?" 

It was cold, wind and snow surrounded you and he walked to you. The night died down rather quickly, lovers kissing inside as you walked in the snow. Thirteen years of knowing the other, he knew you too well, you want to avoid the romance, avoid the cliche and have something different, but not all can be unique. You know well, he knows too, you turn around, "Go back inside, Si, you'll get sick." He shakes his head. "What, you're telling me you won't take care of me, love?" He gets closer to you, a little pout as he gives you his puppy eyes. "Don't do that, Simon." He smirks. "Doing what, all I'm saying is, why not let me be here with you and just shit-talk all those people who might invite us to their baby showers?" You laugh. "I'm wearing blue," you comment he rolls his eyes. "No way you'll make me wear pink," he shakes his head. You ignore it, knowing a baby shower would come within nine to ten months from your friends. 

He knows you. He just doesn't know if he can ever love you. In this world, a man like him isn't guaranteed a happy ending. Maybe a cut to the throat, death in a dark place, bullets blazing as his body takes its last breaths, that is a guaranteed end. Nothing in this world belongs to him, not even the knife he carries. "I almost got sick," you recall. "Keyword is almost," he looks at the skyline. "So, what is new?" he looks over to you. "Same old story." It was mad, to know he can be the man who loves you unconditionally. You could stab him in the back a million times and a million times he would thank you for doing it. Love works in different ways, his love is dark and deep but real. You could break his heart, expose him to the world, turn him into his enemy, kill him over and over, and each time, he would say he loves you.

It's a dark and twisted fairy tale to love him, but it's love that no one can take from him. He can tell you he loves you over and over, but you would still ask him if it was true. You can kiss him, care for him, hug him in days or nights when he is the most vulnerable, burn the world and watch it fall apart for him, only to have him think it's all foolery. One hug, one kiss, and he would still question what love is. The meaning displayed in your eyes, the feeling displayed in his gaze but neither are too brilliant to take a step and claim what the poets oh so need to see. You are conflicted, getting your heart broken over and over by many lovers, asking and crying to the starry nights what is so wrong with you.

Do you love too much, do you care too much? What if it's you and not them? What then? Simon, the cold stare to the passers and the soft gaze to you. R/N, the confused lover with issues and questions that one man's lips hold the answers to. One New Year's Day, one whisper of a truthful 'I love you,' two hearts, one bed, tears and promises. What makes love is not what others perceive it as. Not for a soldier, not for a civilian who questions all her love. At dinner with friends, questions were asked of when either would settle down like the others did, not knowing the answer was right at that table. Simon and R/N, are two complicated hearts that beat for one reason. To live. But those two words can be more than just a basic meaning.

One stormy night, knock on the door and he opens, shirtless and with hope. "Hi," your hoarse voice is too soft. He opens his arms and you run to them. Antidote, what a soldier like him found in that night when he promised he would be more than just a soldier but a man who loves a woman. A woman who cries in his arms as she gets heartbroken again. Boyfriends, thinking they are better than a true woman who all she wants to do is love and care. Something a soldier like him looks for in the dark. "They don't know what they lost, dear," he kisses the top of your head as he holds you close to him. He is done trying to find reasons to not love you.

You are tired of not finding enough excuses to call him home. Your home. His home. An embrace of a man who all he wants to do is protect the last thing on this earth to love him. It was a shared feeling, you both know that well. It is believed that since the creation of our universe, our galaxy, the dust that made us, always tries to find a way back to its other half. And, as he holds you close, two hearts, under one roof, he finds home, and you find home too. It's not about what piece is broken but what is still there. It's not about love or who or how to love.

Sometimes, love is not just a kiss, sex and a caress. Love is sometimes about waking up late morning, hair all messy, bodies tangled with the sheets and a burst of lazy laughter as you realise your lipstick is all over his face. Love is respect, honesty, trust, happiness, fun, and him, holding you near as he watches you cry over something small. Love is about being imperfect, flawed, broken and having the one you care for sit down, love you a little extra that day and watch as you fix yourself with his hand holding yours. 

Tags:

@ghostslillady @queen-ilmaree @jnsmeyv @madamemelancholysstuff @kit-kats06 @ghostslittlegf @trulyunknownone @rogerfxckingtaylor @cripitique @sinners-sins

[bibibbon]

as one of the three mustard fans i feel obligated to yap about him to anyone who will listen.

in the grand scheme of things he’s not particularly important, but the few scenes he’s in definitely are.

he brings up something that many people forgot while watching the show.

that even in a world where people can turn their skin into steel or shoot acid from their hands, a bullet is a bullet.

that no matter how powerful your quirk is, if you get shot in the head you’re gonna fucking die 😭 i mean unless you have a regeneration quirk but those are pretty rare and if someone unloads a revolver into your skull i doubt your quirk would be able to keep up with the damage.

it shows people that a villain doesn’t need a powerful quirk to be dangerous. someone who’s competent with a gun or a knife can be just as dangerous as someone like dabi.

he’s also extremely intelligent. being able to tell where people are based on the movement of the gas isn’t something inherently related to his quirk, it’s a learned skill. he’s also very skilled with his gun, he was able to destroy tetsutetsu’s mask with one point blank shot. as well as being able to hit the same spot multiple times to break through tetsutetsu’s hardening.

when kendo says that mustard carries a gun around because he “can’t win a fight on his own merits” as much as i love her, she’s really stupid for that.

snipe’s whole thing is guns. his quirk has nothing to do with guns inherently, he just chose to use them. and support gear is a massive industry in this universe.

and no one talks about why this middle schooler has a gun and is hanging out with the LOV. that’s not exactly normal middle schooler behavior.

i have some theories so bear with me while i ramble about him.

so obviously he has a villainous quirk. his gas can kill people if they’re exposed to a concentrated amount of it for long enough. and he can’t control where the gas goes, only how much he releases.

(this is more of a headcannon but i like it too much to not share it. his father can create small amounts of purple mist around his body, and his mother sweats bleach. but one of his grandparents could create an ammonia based gas. and what happens when you mix ammonia and bleach? you get mustard gas. ik it’s kinda dumb but i like it.)

i believe that he had a hard time controlling his quirk as a child. with strong emotions causing him to activate his quirk.

in this universe there’s definitely schools/institutions for kids with dangerous quirks. so his parents probably shipped off to one of those institutions so they didn’t have to deal with him.

i feel like he resents the UA students because if an employer sees they went to UA, they have a way higher chance of getting the job.

but when they see that he went to an institution for kids with dangerous quirks, he could be rejected on the spot.

tl;dr i love mustard someone please sedate me

Since you posted this ask to me Iam assuming that Iam one of the three mustard fans and Iam honoured to be recognised as such.

As you know I have talked about mustard before and the potential his storyline has here.

Your whole rant makes me think that mustard in canon is basically the vision people have for fanon villain izuku and I love it.

Mustard brings up a good point which is that people rely on their quirks too much because someone with a uselss or a weak quirk can still be dangerous and powerful by honing in their other skills. Heroes who rely on their quirks primarily and nothing else are the ones that get injured and hurt the most because even if you have a powerful quirk it's not guaranteed to help you in every situation. Sometimes quirks cant always go up against technology as we see in the vigilante arc technology can very much overpower strong quirks whether you like it or not.

Oh I actually do like your headcanon. Personally I have always interpreted mustard as having an anaesthetic type quirk something similar to midnight. I wish the series delved into midnight and mustard interactions especially because mustard is too young to go to jail as people in Japan can only be punished for their crimes when they're above the age of 14.

Reputations and public image are very important things in MHA whether you're a hero or not. Mustard going to that type of institution is interesting although I don't think there are any in canon. I have interpreted it as mustard having something similar to toga where they both suffered from horrible quirk counselling and were told to control themselves not taught how and an incident happend and they ended up here. However everything that comes to mustard to me is 10 times more interesting simply because of how young he really is and how vague everything about him is

[sociallyrepressed]

I’ve finally calmed down enough from Hungary ‘24 to give my two cents

(tw for absolute UNITS of blocks of text)

I feel like people forget that racing is a selfish sport at its core: there is only one winner. Formula 1 adds in the component of the Constructors, which means that drivers do have to somewhat work with their teammate, but in cases like Sunday (McLaren was pretty much guaranteed a 1-2 win) it really is down to the driver. I bring this up to say that the drivers are, at their core, also selfish (when it comes to racing at the very least). The MOMENT they pit Lando first and practically put him in the lead they should have realized what a struggle it would have been to switch back. He’s second in the Drivers Championship and pretty much every point matters. They should have pit Oscar first since he was leading the race and Lewis was far enough behind that Lando would have been fine. Instead, they left an opening for Lando to win and his pace those last laps was really good. At that point, they should have just let him finish p1 because what they ended up doing was humiliating and unfair to both drivers. And Lando definitely played some part in that, too, but again, he’s a racer, he’s going to gun it for first no matter what. Oscar earned that win all on his own merit from the get-go, and I’m so so happy and proud for him. It is unfortunate that McLaren fucked the strategy and it’s pathetic that they made him feel like he had to apologize for his maiden win.

Continuing on this last point, I was disappointed to see the podium celebration and Lando blowing past him, but I won’t speak on it too much because I don’t want. I just wanted to bring it up because a lot of people have strong emotions about it. The podium celebration and the cool-down room are such hot topics in regards to Lando’s behavior. I don’t want to justify his decisions by comparing him to others, but I’m going to anyways. I’m going to bring up Mad Max first because a lot of fans have a love hate relationship with him. We saw a glimpse of him on radio today and people loved it (some people didn’t, but not the point), and many fans are begging for the resurgence of Mad Max. I personally feel like Mad Max is even worse than the behavior in the cool down room, and people seem to be latching onto that. He’s very upset and being borderline rude, I’m not going downplay that, but he still congratulated Oscar and they acted like typical Landoscar while waiting to be interviewed post-race. So, other than the champagne spray on the podium (which could have been chalked up to him making sure he didn’t make Oscar drop the trophy or if he intentionally avoided spraying him, we won’t know since we’re not Lando) he’s been supportive.

Fans like to remind Lando that he’s not anywhere close to being on the same level of the greats such as Lewis, Max, and Sebastian. I will admit that I’m a newer fan and may not understand the intricacies of their relationship with the sport and teammates, but I’m pretty sure none of them would have been open to giving up p1 even if they only got the lead due to their team’s mistakes. Especially if they were second in the wdc. I would also like to bring up the Aston Martin thing. A good example of selfish drivers. Fernando allowed Lance to pass him with the promise that if he couldn’t overtake, then the position would be returned to him. Surprise surprise, Lance didn’t return it. If a driver didn’t return a position so that he could have a one-point finish, how do you expect a driver to react to returning a position that gives up a win. Probably wouldn’t expect him to give it back.

Anyways, I think McLaren lucked out with their driver lineup and the fact they respect each other so much. I think they got complacent after seeing how well Lando and Oscar get along that they forgot about how selfish drivers can be. Especially Lando, since he’s been with them since his start and he’s turned down other interested teams. He and Oscar have done so much for that team.

I’ve got more thoughts but I’m going to keep them to myself for now. Since both drivers have got a taste of winning, I’m excited to see what Spa brings.

And congrats to Oscar Piastri, a freaking Grand Prix winner !!!!

[guppybibi]

hii !! can you do akito (shinonome) with a gf who’s OBSESSED with another group? i just thought of this and found it funny

he’s always like “why don’t we go to your place” and reader is like oh no it’s ok haha!! because it’s kind of embarrassing but there’s so much merch it’s impossible to take down

and one day he convinces you to let him stay over and boom. posters everywhere. cds everywhere. binders full of photocards. a whole shelf of albums just sitting there. don’t forget the dvds and polaroids! bonus points if you forgot to turn off your cd player when you answered the door so it’s blasting said group’s music as well 💀

( ++ doesn’t have to be any group in particular but i’m heavy in my enhypen phase right now, so maybe them? that’d make it even more nerdy but 😭 )

𖦹 pairing: Akito Shinonome x fem!reader

𖦹 content: Confused Akito, fluff, kpop stuff, idk..

𖦹 notes: aaaa i love this idea, tysm! for the group i chose enhypen as well but also stray kids because you can never stan too many groups ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ (i had the biggest stray kids phase lollzz, plus idk much abt enhypen:c sorrie) also wrote half of this at school wowie

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ

-Just..so confused?? He doesn't get the thing about collecting photo cards and the terms fans use so you have to explain it to him.

-Once he gets it though he's just mildly concerned, for your sanity and wallet. He does commend your dedication and loyalty to these groups though (silently hopes you do the same with him.) 

-Occasionally asks you if VBS had merch would you buy some, his reaction would vary on your answer. -

-If you say no he’ll just say ‘uh huh’ and walk away. (pancakes are the solution, TRUST.) + he's just playing around, he isn't mad. 

-If you say yes he’ll just smirk smugly and try to talk everyone into making merch. (he fails)

He’s so confused right now, he just doesn't get what's the big deal about it. The ginger knew you absolutely loved these so called K-POP groups and he didn't mind at all, not a tiny bit. To be fair, he was somewhat an idol as well. A street musician to be exact but that was close enough. 

And today was another added episode to the collection of you not letting him go to your home, what exactly were you hiding from him? He stood before you, in all his glory, a skeptical look on his face. “C'mon doll..is yer room messy or somethin’? I’m sure it can't be that bad, trust me–I’ve seen worse.” He said in an attempt to reassure you, intently watching how your lips pressed into a thin line and your eyes darted across the park you two were at. “L..-look! A bunch of people are doing cool skating tricks!” You exclaim, pointing to a bunch of randos doing flips or whatever. Distracting him was worth the shot, no guarantees it’ll work though. 

He almost facepalms himself when he hears your shitty attempt at diverting his attention elsewhere. “Doll I’m not the smartest but I'm not that dumb..” It was honestly offensive that you thought that would work..You couldn't keep hiding forever, you two wouldn't progress if you didn't allow him to do something so simple as coming into your home. And as he said, he's somewhat of an ‘idol’ as well so he probably wouldn't find it too weird. Yeah, think positive! He won't think you're some kind of koreaboo or anything!

“Right..I guess you could come over to my place. But on one condition..” She starts. “Don't find it weird..?” He chuckles in response, shaking his head. “No promises.” 

And that's how he ended up in this rather strange position, sitting on your cozy bed as the posters on your walls stared down at him. “Wow..this is um..a lot.” His mouth formed a crooked smile, glancing at the shelf filled with albums. Where you got the money for all of this was a mystery to him. “So..who are they?” He asks, flopping back onto your bed, full of a bunch of stuffed animals. Your eyes start to sparkle, this was your time to shine, well rather to rant about your unhealthy obsession with these KPOP groups but let's not talk about that right now. 

After your rather lengthy explanation about every basic thing he needs to know, the expression on his gruff face seems unreadable. Was he angry or somehow jealous about it? Or was he simply just not interested in it? That might've been the case, but not right now at least. “Mmh..alright.” He sounded way too casual about it for comfort if you’re being honest. But if he was held captive and needed to be honest, extra–I know, he found this..mildly concerning addiction of yours quite endearing. It’s not like it would cause problems along the way, unless you spent all of your money on merchandise and went broke but he has enough trust in you not to do that..don’t break that by buying some lightstick that costs more than your kidney. 

[dark-frosted-heart]

Alfons vs Roger event (Alfons end)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Alfons: Now then-

Roger: Let’s get this over with. Oh right, we gotta be “friendly” today, don’t we? Then let’s be good boys and work together. Here we go.

Kidnapper: Wah!

Roger swiftly gets behind the man and pins his arms behind his back.

No matter how much he struggles, he can’t escape Roger’s strong arms.

Alfons: I’m disgusted by the fact that I have to fight with you…

Alfons bit down on a black leather glove, removed it, and touched his nape with his fingertips. 

Alfons: But more importantly… I hate people who would do things such as throwing a lady’s life away for money.

Alfons then threw a piece of trash nearby out the window.

Alfons: Look, is it alright that your precious money’s flying away?

Kidnapper: Ah, ah…! How dare you throw out my money!

(Huh?)

As the kidnapper said that, he jumped out the second floor window after a piece of trash.

Roger: So that guy saw trash as money in your illusion?

Alfons: Yes. Also, there’s a large garbage disposal site nearby. There’s a big, big pit there, and once you fall in, you will not be able to crawl out.

Roger: Haha, you still got great taste as usual. Well, if you can die surrounded by money, that’s how you’ll wanna go. Kate, sorry for tricking you.

Kate: It’s fine, you guys gave me clear signals and I knew you would come to help.

Roger: I’d like to have watched you struggle for a bit longer, but this guy here.

Alfons: I’ve been under a lot of stress as a result of having to be friendly with Roger for the entire day. I should have punched him 2 or 3 times to relieve it.

I understood what he meant under that shameless lie.

Alfons tried to help me as quickly as possible.

Roger: So, little lady. I think it’s about time we heard how many points we have.

Kate: You’re right. Then I’ll announce the results. For the total number of points— Both Alfons and Roger scored 100 points, so it’s a tie.

Alfons and Roger: …

Roger: Pfft haha. Is it because we did a good job fighting together in the end?

Kate: Yes.

Alfons: An absurdity, but a funny one like Miss Kate.

Roger: Al.

Roger pinched Alfons’ nose.

Alfons furrowed his brows after roughly shaking him off.

Alfons: ……What? You couldn’t possibly be saying “That’s minus one point. I’ve lost.”

Roger: No way. I just got carried away with the fighting… You were originally gonna give Alfons the chocolates, weren’t you, little lady? I’m giving up.

Kate: Roger…

Alfons: That’s something about you that I really don’t like.

Roger: Pfft haha. I don’t hate you. Never have. Well, I’m leaving. Gonna go pester them for the medicine storage in the basement.

Seemed like Roger forgot he was even part of a contest and left.

Alfons: That glasses-wearing egoist. I’d like if he fell down the stairs and hit his head.

Kate: I like this.

Alfons: Huh? What is this? Are you shamelessly exposing your affair? Since when did you start leading men on?

Kate: I’m not. I was talking about your relationship with Roger.

Alfons: What do you mean?

Kate: You’re more childish when you’re with Roger. I think that’s when you’re acting like your true self. That’s why I like your relationship.

Alfons: …

Kate: Ah, but I can’t help but feel a bit jealous when I think about it…

Alfons: Aha! You would like to see my true self? Then here you go.

Kate: Huh? Kyaa…

He pushes me down onto the sofa.

Pinning me down, Alfons’ taps on my lips with a finger.

Alfons: Why not give me your sweetheart chocolates? Is this a part of your teasing?

Kate: Well… I’m sorry, Alfons. I was anxious…

Alfons: Hmm, anxious?

Kate: I had heard rumors about you receiving a lot of chocolate every year. So I thought that you wouldn’t want mine.

Alfons: You’re a dumb one, aren’t you? Of course I’d want it from my “lover”.

Kate: Alfons…

Alfons: The fact that you can’t understand such a simple thing has me sulking. Please make me feel better. Until I’m in a better mood, I won’t be able to do all the naughty things you love.

Kate: I d-don’t want to do that stuff.

(Though there were some interesting moments during the contest)

Besides, I really do want Alfons to enjoy himself.

I don’t care if he ridicules or teases me, I want him to spend each moment with a smile.

Kate: Understood. Then I’ll do all I can to put you back in a good mood.

I sat up on the sofa and took out a piece of chocolate from the bag I kept close.

Alfons: What will you do for me?

Kate: I put all my love into these sweetheart chocolates.

Box of chocolates in hand, I shouted out.

Kate: Alfons, I like you a lot!

Alfons: Hehe, that was unexpected… I want to hear more.

Kate: Alfons, I like you a lot…

Alfons: Good, good. Once more, with spirit.

Kate: Alfons~~! I like you a lot~~!

Alfons: Pfft, ahahaha! You…Hehe, you look like a raving fool.

Kate: Hehe…you’re right. Geez.

Alfons: Okay, I forgive you. I’m in a good mood now so let’s do something naughty. How about we play with the chocolate?

Alfons’ hand went to the back of my head and our lips drew closer.

Kate: We can’t do that here. It’s another lord’s mansion…

Alfons: No one will think of your moans as anything but a lady’s illicit affair.

Kate: It’s still not a good idea…

Alfons: You’re so stingy, Miss Kate. Well, I thought you would say something like that, so I’ve already arranged for a carriage to take us home.

(Huh?)

Alfons: So let me take as much of you and the chocolates in as I can. 

[youdontneedhenry]

It's been a whirlwind day for fans of this show, and it's clearly been a better day for some more than others. I do want to acknowledge that I see and hear and understand the disappointment fans are experiencing.

I would like to speak to my own feelings, which are ones of excitement and cautious optimism because the parts of the show I enjoy the most are still intact for Season 5. I am really excited to see where this show goes. I'll put the rest below the fold so as to be respectful to the variety of emotions.

I enjoyed the episodes that didn't feature the Duke for a variety of reasons. He often talked down to Eliza, or tried to knock bring her down in a variety of ways, and so he seemed to be fundamentally incompatible for her. By the end of season 3, I started to wonder how they could course correct to make William/Eliza believable and work for me. I just couldn't see it because I didn't like how the core issue with Eliza's ambition. That's not something I could get behind.

My favorite parts of the show were always Eliza working with partners who respected her- partners like Nash and Moses. I really missed Moses in Season 4, and one thing I hope we see more of is the diversity of Victorian London that we got to see in earlier seasons.

Look, I am obviously a hardcore #ScarNash shipper. I have loved the character of Patrick Nash since his introduction in season 2. The romantic possibility was there in season 2, and then by episode 3 of season 3 (Hotel St Marc), the chemistry was rather distracting! I liked how he respected her talents and enjoyed having her take the lead.

By the end of Season 4, it was clear to me that Patrick Nash and Eliza Scarlet made the most sense. They were equals, and he recognized her talent from the beginning. Eliza's character seemed to have more growth through her interactions with Nash while her relationship with William had grown stale. The flashback episode really solidified that for me- they hadn't changed in personality in a decade, why would they ever? I forgot to mention the constant mirroring of WIlliam/Eliza romance with Patrick/Eliza's relationship. Talking about wanting to receive a present in a bow with a box to William and then having Nash give her exactly that in an area she wanted- a boost to her career. The way Nash always wanted her to work for him when William only reluctantly hired her. The way Nash acted in the entire Jewel of the North episode, including being there for Eliza when her office was trashed. And that's not even Season 4 where Eliza flat out says he's the only person who's ever had any faith in her!

I know what the writers have said about platonic relationships. And a Season 5 renewal with no Duke doesn't mean we automatically get ScarNash. But a girl can dream. They writers are SO lucky to have these actors with this amount of chemistry and a relationship that has developed over THREE seasons. There's been a satisfying arc with Patrick and Eliza. Rivals to friends to lovers would be satisfying. We've watched them grow individually and together. It would make sense.

My wishlist for season 5 certainly includes: a female friend for Eliza that isn't Ivy, for Moses to come back (I know this is not happening lol) and for ScarNash to be canon. I think it would be incredible, and I hope others can come around.

As a side note, it's been absolutely delightful to share this news with ScarNash fans and to find NEW people who have quietly shipped ScarNash. I sometimes felt like there were only a few of us, but truly there's so many people that love the idea of them. So while I think it's not at all guaranteed that it'll be canon, I certainly continue to hope this has opened the door to it. We'll wait and see! I'm looking forward to the new season with more excitement than I've had for any piece of media in awhile.

[whimsicalpoet44]

Astro Observations - Lucky Edition.

**Based off of my opinion and experience. If it doesn't fit your situation, that's okay!**

Planets that I think are lucky or could indicate great fortune or success. (Mostly fire sign edition)

Midheaven: Leo in the 10th house:

Likely to be a supervisor, mentor, or role model. You find the best opportunities through self-expression. You may forced into the limelight, which you may struggle with because you're also a very private person. Your accomplishments will also be highly praised in public settings. Allow yourself to create results that are important or meaningful to you. This will help you achieve success.

Careers: Management, Entertainer, Artist, Designer, Media, Marketer, Teacher. You need roles that allow you to make decisions and express your individuality.

MC conjunct Sun: You're resilient. Success is guaranteed for you, though the road can be bumpy at times. Be careful when it comes to your ego. Make sure you listen to the needs of others that you must collaborate with.

MC Trine North Node: You can't hide from capturing the attention of figures of authority. In fact, you always seem to be publicly recognized for your successes, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Your sense of purpose may be strong and you have some valuable knowledge to teach humanity. Think "Right place, right time" kind of energy.

Sun in Leo in the 10th House: Commonly recognized as "fame" placement. You might have the desire to transform the world in some capacity. And you just might succeed. You're hard working and extremely self aware, which allows you to reflect on your choices. You may be forced to put yourself out there to gain success though.

5, 17, 29 Degree Placements: Commonly known as the "fame degrees."

Jupiter in Aries in the 6th house: "Leader" should be tattooed on your forehead, because you radiate this energy. You can find abundance in just about any job you pursue. Your abundance could come from you day to day job. You'll receive immense luck once you've found a job you adore. Downside? Others may see you as bossy if you aren't in a posistion of leadership to exercise this confident energy. If you haven't embodied your confidence, you may be prone to anger. Work on self-love to shift this.

Careers in teaching, education, publishing, customer service, or a career related to animals. You're a natural healer, so it could be in any career where you're taking care of others' well-being.

Jupiter in the 12th: Many people are afraid of the 12th house, but there's something about Jupiter in the 12th that defies those stereotypes. 12th house Jupiter's are seen as "guardian angel" placements. You are often protected in the most bizarre circumstances. You may be someone that has weird synchronicities when everything appears to be falling a part. Your car broke down a day before pay day? The person towing it significantly discounts the price. Not sure how you're going to pay your power bill? A random deposit you forgot about hits your bank account. You're not necessarily luckier than others, but your bad luck may turn around quickly.

Moon Conjunct Jupiter: You're probably super optimistic and generous. You're also a manifestation magnet. If you want, you got it.

[thehollowwriter]

Warnings: death, blood, violence, implied suicide, cannibalism, gore, Silas eats a guy, and it's pretty graphic, some implied nsfw but it's super brief (don't attack me.) Word count: 4024

Key: Regular text is for the present. Italics is for flashbacks, bold is for journal entries

(Pls reblog and leave a comment ❤️)

Lamentations Pt. 6.1

Silas tapped his claws against his desk, his face blank. He wanted to write, but... he was thinking about how Raine, one of his hunters, was out of town for a funeral.

"This kind of thing always takes you by surprise, you know?" Raine said through sniffles and an attempt to level her voice. "My sister was always so healthy and happy... to think she would have a heart attack..."

Silas didn't know. He didn't know because "this kind of thing" never surprised him. It was so normal for him that he forgot it was a nasty disruption of peace for others.

He picked up his pen and looked at the paper. Then he began to write.

In the Abyss, death is a guarantee. It is rampant. Constant. Swallowing up every flicker of life it can. I'm no stranger to death. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Meeting Morrigan's parents made me think of my own for the first time in years.

I can't remember much about them, really. They died when I was quite young, and most of my memories are fuzzy.

My mother, Lilith, was... distant. I don't think she liked me or my siblings all that much. Smaller, weaker versions of herself she's stuck taking care of with the rest of the family, using up energy that could've been spent getting food.

She wasn't cruel to us, but she wasn't loving and warm either. We were there. We were related to her. That was about it.

It wasn't a secret that we were an accident, an unwanted outcome of a passionate night with my father. There was no way to safely get rid of us either, so we were kept around until we were born.

There were moments where she was somewhat positive towards me. When we were unable to find food for about a straight week, she tried to coax me out of the ball I'd curled myself into. Loving, in a way.

I was unsure how she even died for the longest time. I never witnessed it like I had with so many of the deaths of the others in my family.

I just barely recall the last day I saw her. Everything is fuzzy, hard to know if they're accurate. Except for one thing. Her eyes.

I'm not sure why I remember her eyes so clearly. It's a detail that has stuck with me for years.

Everyone else was sleeping, I think. She was hovering by the entrance of the cave we were in. Or was it a hole? It doesn't matter.

She was staring into the nothingness, the vast expanse of lifeless black that made up the Abyss. The weakly flickering light in her eyes had long since sizzled out.

Once bright pools of jade were now dull and sombre. I never thought you could see the life in people's eyes until I looked at her and saw there wasn't any. They were dead.

Then she just... left. She didn't say a single thing . She didn't glance back at us. She just swam out into the open waters and didn't come back.

Sometimes, I wonder if I had woken up my father or someone else, maybe she would have been brought back safe, but I just went back to sleep and later woke up to find the adults in a panic.

Nobody ever told me what happened, not even when my father and grandfather came home with grim faces and teary eyes. But now... I think I know. And I don't think we could have stopped her if we tried.

My father was kinder to us... but I don't think he really knew what to do with us. He made sure we ate and congratulated us with a headpat when a hunt was successful, but other than that, he too was distant and unfamiliar. More focused on my mother than anything else.

He was killed during a raid when one of our attackers took a bite out of his throat.

It was during this same raid that I lost three brothers and two sisters. They were devoured in a few bites, alongside the scraps of food we had stored, and my sister Mei and I would have been next if it weren't for an older cousin intervening.

It's almost laughable how quickly I lost the rest of my family during my childhood. They were picked off one by one until only myself and my grandfather remained.

My aunts and uncles died in raids and fights, my cousins went out to hunt and never returned, and Mei... Mei was shot by a harpoon gun.

Out of my siblings, I remember Mei the best. She was tough, clever, determined, and powerful. She didn't have magic, but that never stopped her. We were inseparable until we were 14, when Mei was shot by a harpoon gun.

It was the closest we had gotten to the surface. We were following a ship to target bigger prey like the reckless teenagers we were. One of the humans on board saw us, and, well, before we could get away, the gleaming metal of the harpoon was piercing through Mei's chest.

She looked at me with such terror and anger in her eyes as the water filled with her blood, and she told me to get away before they fired again.

I wasn't able to. The tip of another harpoon got lodged in my tail. I ripped it out and left a trail of blood on my way to our grandfather, who was waiting for us.

He helped fix me up, and I couldn't hunt for a long while after that. I only learned this later, but the injury caused nerve damage to my tail.

My tail hurts when I swim, and I can't move it like I used to. I can't chase prey or swim long distances anymore without being in incredible pain and feeling my body resist me.

I switched to stealth hunting after that. I'm used to pushing through my pain, but I'd rather save my energy for a quick escape if I need it.

I never told any of this to Morrigan. Why would I? How could I? How do you tell someone they can never meet the rest of your family because every one of them met their end in various excruciating ways?

Sometimes, Morrigan would tell me about his childhood and then look at me expectantly for a story of my own. I could only look back at him, unable to answer.

My childhood was violent. I am violent. At least, I'm capable of being so. This fact was a concern that gnawed at the back of my mind at the start of Morrigan and I's relationship.

Morrigan had not seen the worst of me. The me that he knew was the one who had long since escaped the Abyss, someone who hadn't needed to kill other merfolk to eat for a very long time.

The idea of Morrigan coming to realise who I truly am, the violent cannibal his family warned him about, kept me up at night. It left me worried. Almost afraid.

It was stupid of me to doubt him like that. Disrespectful, even. Morrigan is clever and likely already knew. However, knowing isn't the same as seeing... and see it he did.

I got sick with some form of flu a few weeks after our visit to the city. I had a fever, and I couldn't keep anything down.

Morrigan came to stay to help my grandfather look after me, worried I would get worse. However, I had caught up on vaccines, and my health was far greater than it ever was, so I recovered quickly.

Just my luck that just as I was going to get more food after not eating for a week, we were raided.

Midway is much safer than the Abyss, but it sits right on the edge of it, so raids still happen every now and then when the local law can't prevent it. It's mainly businesses that got robbed, including my own, but I can hold them off just fine.

There was shouting in the streets, and the sounds of doors and glass breaking, and one of the raiders... a squid mer, I think, got inside.

Morrigan was dealt the first blow and sent crashing into the nearby wall before he could even react.

He groaned, stomach churning and head hazy. His tail fins whacked him in the face and obscured his vision. He was bent nearly in half, his head resting against the floor and his eyes facing the ceiling.

He rolled over, his head spinning and body screaming in pain, and propped himself up with one elbow and one hand.

Morrigan trained his eyes on the squid making their demands, with full intent to lunge, when a blur of purple tackled them to the floor, and it suddenly got very, very quiet.

Ominous wisps of blood began drifting into the water, billowing into large blooms of red before slowly dissipating.

Morrigan watched in silent shock as Silas released his hold on the mer's throat, his teeth stained red.

Morrigan opened his mouth to say... something, but he froze in place when Silas dipped his head, and a wet tearing sound filled the silence.

Morrigan's stomach dropped, and icy fingers of fear crawled up his spine. He backed up until he was pressed against the wall, his heart pounding in his chest.

The sound of flesh ripping carried on for far too long, interrupted only when Silas stopped to swallow.

There was so much blood. It seemed to overtake the little shop, swallowing it in a cloud of dark red. Viscera slipped to the floor with a wet splat, and Morrigan felt his stomach churn.

He felt bile rise in his throat when Silas tilted his head back and swallowed a large tentacle he had violently torn off the squid whole.

Morrigan covered his mouth when Silas' hands, slick with blood, were caught in the dim light of the lanterns.

Morrigan pushed away from the wall, his back aching, to try sneak away and come back later when Silas was done doing... that.

The moment he made the slightest movement, Silas' head snapped in his direction, and he stared at Morrigan, his pupils blown so wide that only the tiniest slivers or his irises were visible.

Morrigan briefly wondered if Silas had perhaps been letting him win at their game this entire time, but he was distracted by the fact that lower half of Silas' face was caked with shiny, sticky blood.

"S...Silas," Morrigan said slowly, his voice raising several pitches. "Silas, calm down."

Silas didn't say a word at first. He simply stared at Morrigan with that wide-eyed, intense gaze. Then, he blinked a few times and huffed.

"I'm perfectly fine," He growled, his words warbled from the blood in his mouth. He swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, glancing at the squid he had torn into. "This one hurt you and tried to rob me. I'm just taking care of a threat. "

Morrigan suddenly felt very relieved that he overpowered Silas when they first met.

"That's- uh- great, love, but can you put that away? Far away?"

Silas glanced at the corspe, then at Morrigan. "Alright. Stay here. You're hurt."

Silas grabbed the squid mer by the hair and began dragging it to the back of the shop. Morrigan tried not to look, but before he could turn away, he was met with the sight of the carnage Silas left behind.

He promptly bent over and threw up.

The image of that squid was burned into his brain, flashing every time he closed his eyes. Silas killed them before he could even react. Then he... why would he do that?

He'd just been sick, right? He spent a whole week without eating anything because he couldn't keep anything down.

Maybe it was an instinctual thing. Silas never outright said it, but Morrigan was pretty sure he's eaten people before. And he was protecting himself, Morrigan and Emrys, right? So it wasn't a malicious act per se...

The thought alone made Morrigan wince at the barage of rage his parents would send his way were they to hear it. Endless ranting about Silas' bad influence on him, how Silas' monstrous nature would corrupt and damage him...

Well, they never knew what they were talking about. Silas was constantly proving them wrong.

Even now. He was protecting Morrigan and making sure they weren't robbed. Nothing monstrous about that. Besides... he certainly didn't look monstrous either.

Morrigan's cheeks pinkened, and he smiled a bit, running his hand over a bruise on his arm.

"Thanks, Si." He mumbled.

Morrigan turned out fine, though he had some bad bruising and quite a sore back. I was... afraid he'd leave me, want to get away, and never come back.

But... while I was looking him over and making sure he was alright, he put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. Hard.

Even though the blood stained his fingers and his tongue. He wasn't afraid or disgusted.

"When you looked at me, I was afraid you were in a frenzy," Morrigan mumbled. "That you didn't recognise me. How stupid of me. You'd never lose yourself like that."

I'm glad he stayed. And that he understood me.

I never intended to eat that squid mer. Just kill it and maybe eat it later. Not in front of Morrigan. Not like... like that. I think it was because I hadn't eaten in so long.

The next few years blended together as life carried on. I wish I could remember every detail, every joyful moment that young, ungrateful version of myself didn't appreciate like he should have.

Morrigan visited almost every day. We talked, we fought, we kissed, we embraced, and when my grandfather went to bed and the night got quiet... we tangled further.

Morrigan was never gentle, and I loved it. There was a care to his roughness. For every bite and for every time his claws raked across my skin, words of love and praise flowed endlessly from his mouth in quiet huffs.

And when it was over, he held me like I was his most precious treasure and sang to me. His voice was like honey.

I miss his touch. I miss his embrace. His compliments and kisses, his voice, his smile, and his field nature. I miss Morrigan so much.

But that's not important right now. We made the most of our time together. Morrigan began teaching me the spells and magical arts he knew, and in return, I began teaching him Abyssal magic.

Morrigan is a powerful mage, I know. He reeked of magic. It was powerful and pulsing and seemed to fill the air of whatever room he was in.

Morrigan always amazed me. He mastered spells almost faster than I could teach them, perfecting them within a few tries. Even more dangerous or complicated spells that took me months to perfect only took him a week or two.

"That boy," my grandfather would say with a fond expression. "Has an incredible gift."

And he was right. Even nowadays, after meeting other mages, I have never met someone like Morrigan.

"At its core, all magic has a basic structure," Morrigan would say to me. "Spells are just add ons to these structures you need to memorise."

It seemed so obvious to him. So clear. He knew magic like the back of his hand. He lived and breathed it. He saw the details that made the bigger picture, the threads that formed exactly what he wanted.

It took me much longer to learn Morrigan's magic. Not only the craft of the sea, but also the magic he learned on land.

Fire, water, flora, cosmic... it is all so fundamentally different to abyssal magic in a way I almost can't explain. It's like learning a new language with rules that are nothing like that of your own.

Morrigan's magic... it is filled with life. You draw from the plants, the water, the stars... it is channelled with imagination and a point of your pen or hand.

Abyssal magic is drawn from death and... I suppose you could say life. But not plants. Not the water.

Bones, blood, skin... they are what fuels Abyssal magic. A body will get you quite far. Crush a crab or something in your hand. It will give you what you need to cast a spell.

I suppose it is because death is such a core part of the Abyss. It only makes sense that a practice native to it will thrive in death, even in small doses.

Many abyssal spells have a similar outcome to "regular" spells but are much more powerful. Many more require drawing out sigils and saying certain phrases in abyssal tongue... I'm not sure why.

It was a change for me. I itched to start tracing a symbol in front of me or on the ground, to murmur those magic words that would get me want I wanted, but... I had to just envision instead a draw from the world around me.

"You're clever," Morrigan would say when my attempts failed. "You'll get it eventually."

I did get those spells right, eventually. Cosmic magic came easiest to me. It felt similar to abyssal magic. It's funny. The stars above and the inky black depths below should be polar opposites.

But... "As above, so below" is a saying that comes to mind.

However, to this day, I don't understand this new magic well enough to teach it. I wish I could.

I can't remember most lessons well as it was so long ago, but I do remember the way Morrigan's eyes lit up with joy and burned with a sense of victory when he got an abyssal spell right, teeth glinting in a large smile.

He's so perfect.

Morrigan told me about blot during one of his lessons. That thick, black, sticky substance that forms when you use magic.

Silas' breath hitched for a moment.

Morrigan's magestone was encrusted on a thin, gold bracelet he wore. He said he originally wanted it in an earring, but his nieces and nephews would yank on them.

I didn't have a magestone. I still don't. I was confused when Morrigan explained what they were, and he was shocked I hadn't overblotted as the blot gathered directly rather than on a stone.

"I don't use my magic much," Silas told him. "Not like you mages do."

Morrigan looked concerned. "Yeah, but with your level of power and how you grew up, that doesn't matter. Blot accumulates even with the tiniest bit of magic, and proper sleep and eating well are some of the only things that get rid of it."

There was a sad tinge to his voice for a brief moment. "You... you were literally starving, Si. And I've only ever seen you sleep properly a few times. Naps don't count."

Morrigan was rightfulfully concerned, but what could I do? Where or how could I get a magestone? Would I even be allowed one, untrained by government standards and technically not an existing person?

"I could organise one for you," Morrigan offered. "A schoolmate of mine is a professor at Night Raven now."

Silas shook his head. "No, it's fine. I haven't needed one up till now. I'll be fine."

I suppose one could say Morrigan should've pressed me more about this, considering how dangerous blot is, but my way of getting rid of blot was good enough for him.

My unique magic. I never knew that's what it was called, not until I told Morrigan about it. When he was pressing me about getting a magestone, I told him I knew a spell that got rid of the odd weight on my chest that would gather when I used magic.

"Another abyssal spell?" Morrigan asked, lighting up in excitement. "Could you teach me?"

Silas shook his head. "No... None that I or my grandfather know. I could just... do it one day. I don't know how."

"Oh, your unique magic?"

"My what?"

A unique spell of my own that no other person can be taught. Many people name theirs, but I've never named mine.

At first, I thought it just made my magic stronger and made me feel less sick. However, when Morrigan explained blot to me, it suddenly made things click into place.

I know what blot feels like, though I used to think I was just sick. It's a warm, wet weight on your chest that only grows if you don't clear it.

It feels like when you get sick and whenever you inhale, you can feel something coating your throat and lungs. It makes you gasp and gasp for just a bit of air.

I can't remember when I first used my unique magic. I try to, but it won't come to me.

Silas stopped writing for a moment. He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, racking his brain for a memory that refused to surface. He has brief flashes of something... but it was too vague.

Blood. Teeth. Bursts of light. Then, nothing. Same as always.

Silas made a noise of exasperation and continued writing.

I can't remember. It's something so important, something that has kept me alive all these years, and I can't remember when or how I got it.

I... I think that applies to much of my life. There are so many things I can't remember, even nice things. They are locked somewhere in my mind. What did Doctor Koi call it again... suppressed. They're suppressed.

I still forget things. I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning. I sometimes can't remember who spoke to me ten minutes ago unless I write it down.

I have to write a lot of things down. I think having my grandfather and Morrigan around to do the remembering helped me all those years ago. Even though I didn't know I had... what's it called... dissosociative amnesia. And short-term memory loss. I have both of those.

I don't like forgetting things. I don't like the fact that I can't rely on my own memory, that unless I write it down, I have to trust that others won't lie to me.

And really, I have to wonder if there is some type of god out there. I never believed in things like that, but... how else could I have lived this long, if not through divine intervention?

A forgetful shark who can't swim properly. I might as well have gone up to someone and asked them to eat me.

Anyway, while I mainly use my magic on other mages, who I rarely find, I can also use it on regular people. The effects when there is no magic are much more dramatic, but I won't go into that now.

Morrigan admired my unique magic but was more relieved that I had an efficient way of getting rid of blot than anything else, even if it came at the cost of others.

"You should use it more often," He would say. "So you don't risk anything happening."

I never did that until much later in life, but I appreciated the sentiment.

There isn't much else I can say. The next few years were relatively peaceful. Morrigan came over more and even spent the school holidays with us. He let me sit with him as he planned out his lessons, telling me about his new and old students, an excited spark in his eyes.

My grandfather and Morrigan got closer. They got along so well. I was so glad. Morrigan went to get my grandfather's medicine for us and helped me get it ready, and helped me feel better about his declining health.

I would often come back home from a hunt to find them talking and laughing, showing each other tricks and spells they knew.

Yeah, it was peaceful. Fun, even. Until it was ripped away from me.

...........................................

Guide: Start, Prev, Next

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, guys! You may have noticed that this time, the flashback was from Morrigan's perspective rather than Silas'! I think it would work better that way. I'm really proud of this chapter, and it took a really long time to make, so I hope you like it! Those who are new, I've got the guide right above!

Tagging: @distant-velleity @br3adtoasty @rainesol @theleechyskrunkly @jovieinramshackle

@galaxies-and-gore @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @officialdaydreamer00 @krenenbaker

@offorestsongs @kitwasnothere @elenauaurs @boopshoops @inotonline

@1dont-really-know @kazumify @minteasketches @elysia-nsimp @skrimpyskimpy

@casp1an-sea @offorestsongs @tixdixl @poisoned-pearls @the-trinket-witch

@ramshacklerumble @ghostiidasponk @thegoldencontracts @the-banana-0verlord @cloudcountry

@skriblee-ksk @twstinginthewind @lumdays @theolivetree123 @natsukishinomiyaswife

@authoruio @jewelulu @raguiras

[sweetcarrotsandroses97]

Summer | JJK

Hello Darlings!!!

Pairing: royal guard!Jungkook x princess!Reader, prince!Jimin x princess!Reader (ft. Yoongi & Hoseok)

Summary: In which you, princess of the Gyeongdong Dynasty, were in the middle of wedding plans. An arranged marriage that would guarantee your father's bloodline to stay on the throne.

Or in which you are assigned a new royal guard that swore to protect you with his life. Jeon Jungkook. That's his name. A name you could never forget. A name that, slowly but surely got engraved not only on your memories but also in your heart.

Love, politics, betrayal and desire. All in ancient history. A love that never should have happened, two souls that wouldn't be allowed to be together.

Warnings: angst, fluff, talks of arranged marriage, eating, love, historical au, forbidden love, betrayal, royal au, more angst (prepare yourself for it), ancient traditions. (I think that's all, if I forgot to mention something and you consider I should put it here, please let me know!)

Word Count: 9.4k

*A/N Hello everyone, thank you for giving this story a chance. This is my first time posting for Jungkook in here so I really hope you'll like this first chapter of my four-chaptered series. If you liked this, please let me know in the comments!! I'd also like to know your thoughts for the next part :)

*Banner made by me.

The sun was shining outside the big halls of the palace, the golden rays kissed the freshly cut grass and illuminated the place beautifully. How you wished you could go out there and sit under a tree, enjoy the warmth of the season and live without a care in the world.

However, you found yourself only wishing to do those things as your eyes stared out of one of the many opened windows of the palace, watching how the guards paced from place to place while the maids carried important things.

"Your highness, which silk would you like for your wedding dress?"

That brought you out of your thoughts, turning your gaze down to where one of the maids was presenting you with different kinds of silk but to you, they all looked the same. It was getting tiring having to decide so many things for a wedding that would be celebrated up until winter.

There was so much to do in such little time. And it was stressing you out not only because of the time but you weren't enjoying the preparations at all. This wasn't what you wanted, you didn't even know who your husband was going to be and that just wasn't right. If your father arranged your marriage the least he could offer was to know who your soon-to-be husband was going to be and get to know him as best as possible.

"I can't decide. I'll leave it to your professional opinion."

You said to the royal seamstress, she bowed at you and said, her eyes glued on the floor as you stood up from where you were sitting.

"I'm honoured, your highness."

A small smile graced your lips before you made your way out of the room, your dress trailing behind you as you left the place without another word.

A sigh escaped your lips once you were outside of your room, the sun kissed your skin delicately as you kept your gaze forward, admiring the beautiful gardens of the palace.

You still couldn't grasp the fact that you were going to get married in a couple of months. It was just way too sudden that your brain hadn't processed the information yet.

Every week, you were allowed to leave the palace for a day followed by guards and only able to walk around certain parts of the city. The people welcomed you with smiles and open arms each and every time you visited the city. You, the princess of Gyeongdong, were loved by the people and they couldn't wait for you to be their queen.

But since your engagement was announced, you leaving the palace was out of the map now. Your father couldn't risk something happening to you when the wedding was so close, furthermore, you were his only daughter after your mother passed away after giving birth to you, your father's princess as well as the kingdom's next ruler.

"Princess!"

You turned around at the sound of the voice of one of your closest people in the palace. The royal counsellor's son and a dear friend of yours, Jung Hoseok.

When he arrived next to you a smile was painted over his lips, he bowed down at you making you frown a bit.

"Stop it, I've told you many times before that you don't have to bow in front of me."

He chuckled, his hands behind his back as he straightened back up.

"Yes, I have. There are so many guards and court ladies that could see and that wouldn't be good for me, princess."

You sighed at his answer. He had said it time and time again but you just wanted to have a normal friendship, was that too much to ask? Maybe it was. At least for now.

"I'm sorry, you are right. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble because me."

Hoseok smiled and that made a small smile paint over your own lips. That was a power only he had, he would smile and it would make you smile too.

"It's alright, I can be sneaky when I want. Especially to the kitchen. They never know when I was there."

That made you let out a snort before laughing completely. Forgetting about proper manners or who could be watching you at the moment, you just lived that fragment of time. Enjoy it how it should be enjoyed.

"Speaking of..."

He continued, bringing his hands in front of him only for you to notice the small package covered with white fabric. You smiled widely at him.

"...I managed to sneak out some fish-shaped pastries."

You let out a squeal while Hoseok unwrapped the package and opened the lid for you to see he had bought your favourite dessert.

"Thank you, Hobi! I've been craving this since last week!"

With that, you took one and immediately began eating it, savouring the sweet flavour inside your mouth as you closed your eyes for a moment.

"Why didn't you just order for the maids to bring some pastries to your room, your highness?"

You sighed, swallowing the sweet treat only for then to say, your joyous face turning slightly sombre when the bubble of happiness was suddenly popped with reality.

"I am not allowed to eat anything like this, at least not until my wedding day. King's orders."

Hoseok's eyes widened in surprise at your words. Panic flared through his features as he came to the sudden realisation that he was disobeying the king's direct order. He looked around frantically, searching for people nearby that had witnessed him giving you the pastries while you continued to munch on another bite of the sweet treat.

The next thing he did, however, made your eyes widen as the remainder of the fish-shaped sweet was taken from your hand rather abruptly only for Hoseok to throw it in his mouth at the end. It all happened too fast you were left staring at your best with a dumbfounded face.

"Yah! Why did you d-"

You cut your sentence when you spotted one of the court ladies followed by a group of maids appearing in your peripheral vision. You quickly straightened your back while Hoseok hid the package he was holding behind his back, swallowing the remains of the pastry he took from your hands.

The court lady bowed when she stood in front of you, the other maids mirroring her actions. When she stood back up, she said, her voice cold and her attitude as strict as always.

"My Lady, His Majesty; The King, has requested your presence at the main hall."

You curtsided softly, a soft smile on your face.

"Thank you, I shall go there immediately."

And with that, you turned around and began walking along the large gardens with Hobi following you at a proper distance. When you rounded a corner and were out of the court lady's sight, you sighed. Hoseok caught up to you and you smiled at him.

"Thanks, Hobi."

Those whispered words made him smile, he looked back before saying.

"I should probably go back, I'll see you later, princess."

You nodded at him with a soft smile over your beautiful features and he bowed slightly at you only for then to fast-walk to the opposite direction from where you stood. You were left alone again and took a deep breath before you continued on your way to the throne room where your presence was requested.

"Her highness, princess Lee (y/n), has entered the main hall!"

The eunuch announced, you walked towards the throne with your hands clasped in front of you, your head low as you made your way across the place.

"You wished to see me, Your Majesty?"

You said, you gaze glued to the floor after you bowed at your father. He chuckled a bit, before saying.

"Princess (y/n), your fiancé, Prince of the Park family will be visiting us this autumn, the wedding will be held here, in the royal palace. I expect you to behave accordingly, dearest."

You bowed to him, not surprised at all with the news as you were already aware that the man you were going to marry was coming to stay at the palace, thanks to one of the maids who eavesdropped a conversation between two of the court ladies.

"I will do as you wish, Your Majesty."

He nodded, allowing you to retreat back to your room. The moment you were out of the main hall you let out a deep sigh. This was it. You were really getting married by the end of the year. You just hoped that the Prince of the Park family would be a nice person and would treat you right. Perhaps there would be no love in that marriage, you didn't expect it at all but the least you could get was the rightful place as his wife and Queen of Gyeongdong.

It was unfair, yes. Had you hoped to meet your only true love while being a child, of course but that wasn't your story anymore. You weren't a princess that needed to be rescued by a charming man only for then to fall in love. You had a duty with the kingdom, with your father and with yourself.

This marriage had to happen, even if you didn't totally approve of it. It was something that had to be done and there was no turning back.

"The Princess is getting married this winter."

The announcement made the royal guards look towards their superior as he stood at the doorway of the place they were having dinner.

"Her Highness is so lucky."

"She is marrying a Prince."

"Obviously, she is really beautiful."

"I wish I could get someone as beautiful as the Princess."

These and more murmurs could be heard in the room where all the guards enjoyed their warm food. But then, their superior, Captain Min Yoongi said, his voice back to its commanding tone.

"Yah! I didn't tell you all this for you to fantasise about your non-existent love life. This is important, the Princess needs to be guarded with more attention now that the wedding is close to the agreed date. Now, finish all your dinner and we will begin with the night's patrol in a couple of minutes."

With that, the captain left the place. Going back to his own personal quarters until it was time for the patrolling.

Meanwhile, at the guard's dinner table, the murmurs and comments didn't stop.

"They say Her Highness is marrying the Prince of the Park family."

"No, no, no, you heard it wrong. She is marrying the Kim's family first born. I heard they are the wealthiest family after the royal family in all of Gyeongdong."

You paced back and forth in your room. Tomorrow was the day that you usually went down to the city and left the confinement of the palace. But now, you were prohibited from leaving the royal grounds. The hot summer air entered through the opened windows and you stopped pacing. It would be of no use if you tried to convince the head court lady to let you go out.

She would immediately tell your father and that wouldn't do any good. Right now, you don't need any more prohibitions, what you needed was to get out of the place, just for a day. Clear your head from all the wedding plans and stuff that was forced into you.

You sat down with a huff, your skirts puffing out with your action. There was no-one that would take you out of the place tomorrow as they'd all fear the consequences if they got caught.

Perhaps I can beg father one last time. I'll beg on my knees if I have to.

With that thought in mind, you stood up from your crouching position and grabbed one of the lanterns in your room before you left the comfortable place and walked along the gardens, the lantern illuminating your path as you made your way to the King's palace.

-

"Your Majesty, Princess (y/n) has requested an audience with you. She said it was urgent."

Said the king's personal royal guard. He then told him after taking a sip from his cup of tea.

"Let her in."

The guard bowed and walked towards the closed doors, he opened the entrance way and you entered your father's room. Your head hung low. When you found yourself standing in front of him with the table with his dinner being the only thing between you both, you commented in a soft voice.

"Your Majesty, forgive me for coming here late at night but I have a request to make you."

The king sighed, putting his small cup on the table and giving you his complete attention.

"Go on."

You gulped, preparing the words you were about to say. It was now or never.

"I... I wish to go down to the city tomorrow."

You heard him take a deep breath and you screwed your eyes shut. Had you been, perhaps, too direct with your petition?

"We have already discussed this. I will not let you leave this place until you are married. Go back to your room."

His words made you feel hopeless, trapped in a cage. A golden cage. A lump began forming in your throat due to his harsh tone but you wouldn't back away that easily. Your father's eyes widened when you sank down on your knees, your eyes leaving the ground only to lock them with the man who raised you.

"Please. I beg you. I'm not asking you this as the Princess and future Queen of Gyeongdong but as your daughter. I feel trapped here, it's suffocating. I promise I'll behave completely when the Prince and his family come to the palace but I plead to you to let me enjoy the little time I have as an unmarried woman.

I promise I won't disappoint you, father. Please, don't keep me here like a trophy. Please just let me go out once a week. That's all I'm asking."

There was silence after you finished, a silence that was beginning to feel asphyxiating. There was no noise that could be heard, not even the rustling of the wind outside and you could swear that you'd be able to hear a drop of ink landing on the ground with how silent the atmosphere had suddenly gone.

"Go back to your room, (y/n). I don't want to discuss this any further."

You let out a defeated sigh, blinking back the tears that had gathered in your (e/c) eyes. Standing up, you bowed at your father and said before leaving the room.

"Goodnight, Your Majesty."

When you found yourself back in your room was when you finally let your tears go. The lantern you were carrying was left abandoned near the entrance way as you made your way to your bed setting. You didn't even bother to change from your dress and laid down over the soft covers.

You already knew that once you got married you wouldn't be able to leave the palace unless it was some kind of political matter that would require your presence otherwise you'd stay in the palace grounds forever.

And now, when you had the chance of enjoying the last remains of your time alone, your father prohibited it. The tears rolled down your cheeks as you curled yourself under the blankets, the tears were a reflection of your anger and sadness but mostly a feeling of hopelessness that had settled in your heart since the news of your engagement was announced.

You didn't know when exactly you fell asleep but when you opened your eyes again, you were met with your room illuminated by the early sun rays. You sat up and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, when you stood up you heard one of your personal damsels say from the outside of your room.

"Your Highness, your new clothes are ready."

Walking towards the entrance way, you opened the door and let the maid as well as two more women who always assisted her in dressing you inside the place you had slept last night.

One of the three women inside began arranging your bed setting while another one displayed your clothes for the day. You had to admit it was a beautiful dress with a deep blue purple and puffy skirt and a white top which had details in light blue. The silk of the dress seemed soft at the touch and you could swear it was as all your dresses were made with the best fabrics of Gyeongdong.

"My Lady, can we assist you in getting ready for today?"

The maid who had spoken not even five minutes ago outside of your room asked, her voice was gentle and she kept her gaze lowered. Her words triggered something inside you. What was the point in getting ready if no-one was going to see such fine clothes? No-one, other than the people at the palace saw you walk around the gardens so, was it really worth it using these clothes when all you did was stay inside all day?

No.

That was what you answered to yourself. It wasn't fair, it wasn't needed. It wasn't worth it. You were deep in thought as you let the three maids dress you up with the beautiful dress that was, indeed, very soft to the touch.

When you came out of your thoughts, you were sitting on the floor as delicate fingers ran through your hair, combining it and styling it properly. Just as the maid was about to put a couple of pins in your hair, another one of the damsels suddenly said, making you look up from your lap.

"Princess, His Majesty is coming here!"

You stood up, dusting off your skirts only for then to go to the door. The three maids followed you. When you opened the entrance way and found yourself in the doorway of your own palace you saw how your father stood in the garden in front of your door. Captain Min stood at his right as four other guards stayed behind the King.

You bowed, your damsels mirroring your action until you spoke in a clear yet emotionless voice.

"Good morning, Your Majesty. What can I do for you this early in the morning?"

The king let out a deep breath, you lifted your head and looked at your father, your hands clasped together in front of you.

"I am assigning you a personal royal guard,"

That instantly caught your attention, the look in your eyes changing to one of hope upon hearing that sentence.

"only with him by your side are you allowed to leave the palace grounds."

You had to bite down on your bottom lip to suppress the smile that threatened to grow on your face.

"First Officer Jeon,"

Your father named out and one of the four guards stepped at the front, kneeling in front of his king. From your perspective, you could tell he was tall and well built, you stood in the doorway without moving, expecting your father's next words.

"you are to keep the princess safe until the day you die. Her safety is in your hands. You must accompany her to wherever she wishes to go and never let her out of your sight. That is your duty as the princess' personal royal guard."

The man you came to know his name was Officer Jeon then said, his voice low and certain of his next words.

"I swear no harm will ever fall upon Her Highness as long as my heart is beating. I'll protect her with my life."

You swallowed at his words, the severity of his vow downing on you.

"Very well, stand up Officer Jeon. Princess (y/n), you are now free to leave the palace just remember the rules, I don't want you going out everyday or staying out until late at night."

You bowed once more, a wide smile over your lips.

"I appreciate your generosity, Your Majesty. I promise to follow the rules to the fullest."

The king chuckled and you straightened up, a gleam of happiness in your eyes.

"Very well then, I shall take my leave."

You all bowed as the king left, Captain Min Yoongi and the other three guard following him as they began discussing some plans of safety for Gyeongdong but your mind couldn't care about their strategies at the moment as the happiness of going out once more clouded any other thought that could cross your mind.

First Officer Jeon turned around, facing you. You smiled at him before looking at one of the maids that were smiling among themselves.

"Bring me my outer robe and small handbag, please."

"Right away, Your Highness."

The damsel quickly went inside your room to fetch the items you just requested, in the meantime you turned towards the man whose duty was to protect you at all costs. He was looking across the garden, perhaps he hadn't been this much in this part of the palace. You thought to yourself.

The summer outer robe in white silk was placed over your shoulders and you grabbed the bag from the maid's hand. You thanked her before skipping along the small steps until your feet landed on the green grass that covered the outside territory of your palace.

"Shall we go, Officer Jeon?"

You walked down the first steps of the palace, the main gate opened and you felt like you could suddenly breathe again. A sigh escaped your lips as you ventured through the gate and out of the palace, a golden prison.

Your personal guard was trailing behind you, keeping a proper distance between you both. You watched him from the corner of your eyes, approaching the city as you two walked towards it.

"You can walk next to me, you know?"

First Officer Jeon looked at the back of your head upon hearing those words.

"That wouldn't be proper of me, Princess."

You pouted slightly before you turned to face him while still walking backwards to the city. His eyes widened a bit at your action and took in how care-free you looked.

"But what if someone attacks me and you are standing behind me? You should always walk by my side."

A soft smile was plastered over your features while still facing him. However, he ignored what you said and commented, his voice a bit more distant than before.

"You will trip if you walk like that."

It was a statement rather than a possibility and that had you frowning up at him. If he was going to be like this then your little trips to the city and nearby villages were going to be a bit dull, at least until you got to your desired destination.

"I won't! I don't lik-"

But your sentence got cut off when, just as he predicted, you tripped with a small rock. You gasped when you felt your body being pulled down to the ground by gravity, the heavy skirts of your dress not allowing you to gain back your footing.

It was only when you felt a firm hand grasping yours and a pull over your body when you were back on your feet.

"I told you you would trip over."

Officer Jeon said, his voice cold and distant but you were able to catch a tinge of humour behind his words. A soft blush painted your cheeks when you realised he was still holding your hand in his surprisingly warm one.

Out of a sudden you felt shy, retrieving your hand from his grasp and taking a couple of steps away from him as you hadn't noticed just how close the two of you were a mere second ago.

"That... that was- it wouldn't... aish. I don't like for people to walk behind me, I feel like I'm being followed. Just... just do me the favour, could you? Just walk next to me, I promise you won't get in trouble."

He sighed, looking around before agreeing with a silent nod.

"And, thanks by the way. For not letting me fall down."

He bowed slightly, the both of you continuing your path down to the city.

"I was just doing my work, Princess."

You had to bite down on your lip to keep the smile from shining all over your face. He indeed took that vow to heart. You thought. Looking up at him, you noticed just how handsome your personal guard was and a warm sensation spread all over your body.

"So... tell me. What's your name? How would you like me to call you?"

Your question made him look down at you for a split second but you continued to watch him with curiosity. If he was going to always be with you, at least you could be friends?

"I am the First Officer of the Royal Guards, Jeon Jungkook. You can call me as you please, My Lady."

Jeon Jungkook.

You had to admit the name suited him. You blinked at him and said with a smile, more of asked him though.

"Is it okay if I call you just by your first name?"

Jungkook kept his gaze straight forward as he answered your question.

"As I told you, Princess, you may call me as you please."

You smiled at him, some silence falling between you both. It was a comfortable one and you just knew that you and Jungkook would get along pretty well. You could feel it.

"It's the Princess!"

A villager exclaimed when he caught sight of you with your royal guard walking by your side.

"She's back!"

"Her Highness has arrived!"

This and more exclamations were heard among the people that were suddenly surrounding you and Jungkook. You gave a sweet smile to all the people who greeted you and bowed respectfully at you, their Princess.

Jungkook was alert, keeping an eye on you while checking the place. The crowd began getting bigger and bigger and to him, that only meant the risk of something happening that could put your safety on the line was increasing.

He had never seen the people from the city so enthusiastic about someone, however he could tell you were really loved by Gyeongdong's citizens.

With a smile, you received the little gifts from the people all while Jungkookk never left your side. You could feel how tense he was when there were too many people around you but, even if you had only met him that same morning, you felt safe with him.

You knew that as long as he was next to you, no harm would come over you. It was strange but for some reason, he radiated that sense of protection.

Later that day, you sat under a wide tree located in the middle of the village, Jungkook was standing at your left side, his eyes scanning the area like a hawk. You opened one of the bags you were gifted that a kind, older woman had given you. A smile was painted over your face when your eyes landed on the fish-shaped pastries you loved so much.

Jungkook looked down at you as you giggled softly and began eating the sweet treat.

"You can sit down, you know?"

You voiced out after having swallowed the pastry. When you looked up you found him already looking at you.

"And don't say "it's not proper" you can sit down and still keep me safe."

Jungkook sighed, of course it was not proper for him to sit next to you however, your care-free spirit slowly but surely got to him and he was about to crouch down on the floor next to you. But how could he? He was just your royal guard, people could misunderstand his actions for wanting something from you which wasn't true. He had one duty and that was to protect you at all costs but it seemed you were making it difficult with your soft aura and kind spirit and it was just the first day with this new job.

"No, Princess. I must stay here, I have a place next to you and that is as your royal guard."

Now it was your time to sigh, you knew he was right but was it really that harmful to just try to be friends with him? Perhaps he viewed it that way but you couldn't help it, you had been so alone your entire life that it was only natural for you to try and establish some kind of relationship in terms of friendship.

"I'm sorry. You are right."

With that, you stood up, not feeling in the mood to stay there any longer.

"You don't have to apologise, Princess. It is, after all, my job."

Another sigh escaped your lips as you began walking along the path that led to the palace. Jungkook following you from behind and he couldn't help but think how his action ruined the enthusiastic mood you were in some hours ago however, he knew it was necessary to set the boundaries since the very beginning otherwise something harmful could happen between him and you, the lonely princess who was destined to be queen and possessed a big heart.

When you were back at the palace, Jungkook made sure to escort you to your room but as you were about to enter the place, you turned to him and said, a soft smile over your lips though not as wide as when the both of you had parted from the royal grounds.

"Thank you for coming with me to the city."

He bowed down at you, not saying a word. When he straightened back up he was met with the sight of you holding a small bag towards him.

"You can have them, you looked like you wanted some of them. I won't be able to finish them all anyway."

Jungkook took the bag from your hand hesitantly, his fingers brushing yours for a split second before the contact was broken.

"I appreciate your generosity, Princess. Rest well."

You smiled a little wider at him, your hands clasping in front of you.

"You rest as well, Jungkook."

With that being said you entered your room, sliding the door shut. Only when Jungkook saw that you had closed the door did he begin walking back to his own room.

He let out a deep breath as he sat on the floor, the little bag you had given him before going back to your room was still in his hand and he couldn't help but open the small package. Surprised struck Jungkook when he saw the fish-shaped pastries inside. Had he been too obvious when he looked at you while you ate them? Maybe he was.

A soft smile adorned his handsome face as he took one out and began eating it. He had never before met you in person, he had never before been in your presence and certainly not that close as today but he couldn't deny that the Princess of Gyeongdong was a kind-hearted woman, blessed with her mother's beauty and her father's intelligence.

As he finished the pastry, he couldn't help but think that his words were a little harsh to you. You were only being friendly with him but he was afraid he could get you in trouble for such indecencies. But if you didn't mind him being that close to you, was it really a problem?

He recalled all the times he had seen you. From afar. And you always looked to be quite lonely for the future queen of Gyeongdong. You were always immersed in yourself and, even in those countable memories he had of you before he became your personal guard, your eyes seemed to sparkle when someone talked to you, when someone, anyone, brought you out of your little bubble of loneliness.

You had been extremely happy that morning when you got to know he was going to be accompanying you to the city and Jungkook couldn't describe the way your eyes had lit up when you found out he was going to be around you until you got married, maybe even after that.

Perhaps there was still time to change your perspective of him, maybe he could get you to open a bit to him. Yes, he was supposed to protect you but that didn't mean only physical harm but emotional pain too. If what you needed was some company afterall, he was more than capable of giving you that.

He would try, he had to. Jungkook couldn't picture you, the sweet Princess, not smiling at all. It was one of your many beautiful qualities. And maybe, he could be the person you needed to bring you out of your self-absorbed world.

Besides, he didn't intend to be involved with you, not even in friendship. So, was there a problem at all?

One Month Later

It was early in the morning when Jungkook found himself walking towards your room. His own bedroom was close to yours in case anything happened. Well, as close as it was proper for it to be. He made his way through a path he now knew by memory as every day, for the past month, he had waited for you outside of your room only to never leave your side throughout the day up until it was nighttime and the both of you had to part ways.

Jungkook could tell that you were now more relaxed in his presence than the beginning, even if you had seemed okay at first when he practically was glued to you, now it was so normal to you that you even felt strange in those rare moments when he wasn’t with you. 

He also kept his own promise, he set the boundaries with you and the pair of you existed as just that, employer and employee. He was meant to protect, you were the one he needed to protect. That was it. Or at least that was what Jungkook told himself every night before going to sleep.

When he stopped by your room, he got surprised, nearly alarmed as you weren’t there and the door was opened. He cursed under his breath and turned around, already with some places in mind to search for you until he spotted one of the maids.

As he approached her, he noticed it was the woman who always helped you get dressed in the mornings, she also did your hair and makeup for the day.

"Excuse me, is Her Highness in the royal grounds? I just came here but she isn't in her room."

The damsel put down her basket that had in it clean, white sheets and replayed almost immediately as she could sense Jungkook's panic laced voice.

"She is in the practice grounds. Or at least that's what she commented this morning."

Jungkook thanked the kind maid before jogging off to the practice grounds of the palace.

The moment he arrived, he was met with a swishing sound across the air followed by a muttered curse. Peaking over through some bushes, Jungkook sighted you standing in the middle of the place, a bow in your left hand while the other held an arrow.

You were wearing a fine and beautiful dress with a white skirt and light pink top all made in expensive silk. Jungkook watched you shoot another arrow to the target mark, your eyes focused and you breathing even. Your posture could be improved but you had gotten the hang of it. He watched as you took a deep breath before letting go of the arrow and he couldn't help but watch not your actions but you.

He admired how beautiful you looked dressed in such fine clothes, with your hair styled to perfection and how you carried yourself. He watched how your left hand gripped the bow tightly up until your knuckles turned white, such delicate hands that he had seen holding unharmful items like a paintbrush or a book, were now holding a dangerous and powerful weapon, if used correctly.

As the arrow travelled through the air, time seemed to go in slow motion as he watched a couple of rebellious strands of hair fly slightly with the movement. But his trance was broken when the arrow landed a couple of feet away from the target mark, on the ground.

A frustrated sigh escaped your lips as you walked towards where other arrows rested. Ignoring the quantity of how many arrows you had already fired and now rested on the floor, you positioned the arrow in your bow and prepared yourself to fire it.

"You need to relax, Princess."

The sudden voice said from behind you startled you causing the arrow to fall on the ground before you even had the chance to fire it. A gasp escaped your lips as you turned around only to be met with Jungkook who approached your figure with calculated steps.

He was wearing his usual uniform in a deep shade of blue, a sword attached to a belt that hugged his waist but something about his presence that morning intrigued you.

"You scared me."

Was your statement once he stood at arms length. He looked down at you and you held his strong gaze.

"I apologise, Your Highness. I didn't mean to."

You relaxed and let out a defeated sigh.

"You have good skills but your posture can be improved."

At Jungkook's words you lifted your gaze, meeting his dark brown eyes with your own once more. He gestured towards your bow with his chin and asked, his voice gentle like a summer breeze.

"May I?"

You nodded, handing him your bow. The warmth of his fingers brushed yours and you had to bite back a smile. He crouched down and picked up the arrow that had fallen from your grasp a moment ago.

Jungkook positioned himself and you watched his every move.

"You are too tense while holding the bow, if your hold is firm but at the same time gentle it will give you stability."

You listened carefully to his explanations as your eyes were glued to him and for the first time since he became your personal guard were you able to admire him. Properly admire him.

Your gaze landed on his focused face, on how his eyes were put on the target mark and nothing else. Then, you travelled to his lips and marvelled on the way he was pulling back the arrow until it touched the corner of his lips softly. His jawline was defined as if it had been sculpted by the gods.

His broad shoulders carried years of training and you could see how his muscles could be traced even with more than one layer of clothing. His veiny hands held the bow and the arrow with expertise and you found yourself trapped in a trance in which only Jungkook existed.

He fired the arrow, hitting the target in its centre. You looked amazed at the clean shot he did and he commented, giving you back your bow.

"Would you like to try again, Princess?"

You nodded and took the bow. Jungkook walked where the rest of the arrows were and picked one up. He handed it to you and you took it softly from his grasp. You positioned the arrow and prepared yourself to shoot.

You silently gasped when you felt a large hand over your left one, the one holding the bow and it took you less than a second to realise it was Jungkook who was guiding you. You smelled his scent from behind you and felt the light pressure of his body at your back but it wasn't uncomfortable, on the contrary, you felt safe being this close to him. It was... Soothing, to say the least.

"You need to relax your hand a bit more."

Following his instructions, he smiled.

"Good, now take a deep breath. Straighten up a bit more and concentrate."

You did as you were told, closing your eyes and relishing in the comfort Jungkook provided. The warm feeling of his hand over yours was nearly overwhelming. The moment you opened your eyes again, the only thing you could focus on was on the target. Letting go of the arrow, it travelled through the air with a mute noise and landed directly on the mark.

A gasp left your lips and Jungkook let go of your hand just as you turned around and looked up at him. Your smile showed pure happiness, a happiness he was responsible for and for some reason, that settled a spark of proudness in his chest.

"I wasn't aware that you knew archery."

He lifted an eyebrow, almost in a teasing way.

"I am a royal guard, Princess. Of course I know how to shoot an arrow."

You laughed at his words. Stupid, of course he would know that. You scolded yourself inwardly, thoughts masked by a soft smile.

"Do you have any plans for today, My Lady?"

His question brought you out of your embarrassing state and you let out a sigh upon remembering what you had to do today.

"Not much really. I don't think I'll be able to visit the city today. The King ordered a seamstress to make a new dress for me, for my birthday ceremony."

Jungkook nodded, walking to a nearby bench only for then to sit down, all while keeping an eye on you as you practised your archery skills for a little more time.

"Isn't your birthday in autumn, Princess?"

You looked up at Jungkook while he kept his gaze glued to the front.

"Yes but the King prepares everything with so much anticipation as you may already know, the day I was born was when other events occurred at the same time like the Queen's passing and Gyeongdong's victory against the Jejin kingdom in the north."

He looked down at you only to lock his eyes with you and he was able to read the sadness behind your explanation. Jungkook couldn't imagine just how lonely your life had been, with your mother dying in childbirth and formally meeting your father when you were three when he returned from the war.

He knew you suffered as a child even when you were the Princess and had access to whatever you wanted at any time of the day. A lonely girl with a planned future. He knew you were to become Queen in winter, the ceremony occurring the same day as your wedding day was scheduled.

"Have you ever met him?"

His question made you blink, parting your gaze from his penetrating brown orbs.

"No. I've never met the Prince I was promised in marriage. But I guess that's how arranged marriages work, don't they?"

A humourless chuckle followed your words and Jungkook could easily tell that you didn't want to get married, at least not in this way.

When the both of you arrived to where the seamstress was waiting for you, Jungkook stood in the farthest corner of the room making himself invisible as the kind lady began taking your measurements and explained to you what kind of fabrics you were allowed to wear for your wedding day.

You picked everything with a dull expression, already tired of all the wedding preparations. Your eyes drifted here and there toward Jungkook, secretly hoping that he would also look at you but his gaze was lost in the place. He kept his head low and never did he make it for you both to lock eyes, even when he felt your gaze over him from time to time.

-ambience-

"Hobi, are you alright? I haven't seen you for nearly two weeks!"

You whispered-shouted at your best friend. It was early in the morning, so early that the sun wasn't out yet, the sky was still dark and silence drowned the palace. You stood outside of your room still wearing your sleeping clothes, your bare feet touching the fresh grass as Hoseok had woken you at such an hour saying that there was something important he needed to tell you.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me, Princess. There's something you need to know,"

Even in the darkness, with the only source of light being a small paper lantern he carried in his left hand, you could see the seriousness behind Hoseok's words, whatever he was about to tell you was, indeed, important.

You signalled him to continue and he said, his tone low, words carried with the hot summer breeze of the early hours.

"I've been away for sometime because I travelled with my father to the North. As you may know, the news of your wedding with the Prince of the Park family had reached every town of the country but suspicious activity was reported to His Majesty a month ago."

Now that was definitely urgent for you to know. There was someone that was organising something. Something bad.

"That's where Jejin was situated before my father conquered it, isn't it?"

Hobi nodded, his usually cheerful eyes now filled with worry. Worry for you, his best friend. For Gyeongdong and for his family. The possibility of war had increased and if the problem didn't get solved not only the royal family would be in danger but all the innocent citizens of Gyeongdong.

"His Majesty suspects that a rebellious group is taking Jejin's place, trying to take the throne which also means stopping your wedding, Princess. The King also believes that the group is being controlled by one of the Ministers."

Your eyes went wide when you heard the last sentence. Was truly a traitor sitting in front of the King in his own palace? You looked around you, suddenly feeling insecure about being in your own room. You realised then that Hobi had spoken of such secret information outside of your room, in the gardens. What if someone heard?

"Let's go inside, it's dangerous for you to be telling me this in the gardens."

Hoseok shook his head, his worried eyes never leaving your figure.

"No, Princess. That would look suspicious if anyone had their eyes on us right now. I only came here tonight to give you fish-shaped pastries."

His words were whispered, even when in the silence you feared they could be heard. The next thing you knew was that he was giving you a package covered by soft fabric, just like every other time he had given you sweets. A forced smile was latched onto his face, trying to make this look as normal as possible.

You eyes the package and slowly took it from his grasp.

"Smile, Princess. I just gave you your favourite treat. Smile and go back to your room and keep smiling until you close the door."

His instructions were said between clenched teeth and airy words, all while keeping the gentle look on his face. You did as instructed though Hobi could tell you were scared, it was reflected in your eyes.

"Thank you for the pastries, you know how much I like them."

With that said, you turned around and walked to your room, your smile never leaving your face. Once in the privacy of your quarters, you sat down on the floor while processing everything Hoseok just said to you.

A traitor.

A traitor in the court.

Marriage.

Jejin.

Traitor.

Danger.

Possibility of war

A traitor.

Your mind kept swirling around those words, not grasping the fact that there was someone who didn't want you to become Queen, who didn't want your father's bloodline to stay on the throne.

You looked at the package Hobi gave you, something inside you telling you that what was inside it were not fish-shaped pastries. You untied the fabric and pulled out the box only to find a letter there. Without giving it much thought, you unfolded it and quickly recognised Hoseok's handwriting.

Princess, there wasn't enough time for me to tell you this but you need to be careful. Captain Yoongi informed me that you now have a personal royal guard to keep you safe, that's good. You can trust him, he is a good man.

You need to stay alert, don't trust anyone other than His Majesty, Captain Yoongi, my father, me and of course Jungkook. He'll keep you safe.

I wish I could tell you everything's going to be alright but I can't be sure, at least not now. You cannot be alone now, please. Stay close to Jungkook, it's for your own safety.

Hobi.

That letter was the last piece of information you needed for realisation to fall upon you. Whatever was happening was dangerous and it threatened your safety.

You felt a sudden urge to go to Jungkook, be near him. He made you feel safe and now, when things could get difficult, for some reason he grounded you from your own thoughts and fears. You could trust him, you knew that since day one. He was going to protect you and that night, you slept with the vow he made to your father about keeping you safe. You were aware that no harm would ever fall over you as long as he was with you.

However, little did you know someone had seen your entire interaction with Hoseok in the gardens. Someone hiding behind the bushes in the darkness of the early morning.

Jungkook rowed the small boat to cross the lake. You sat opposite him, your expression bored as you leaned over one of the edges, your arm supporting your head while your eyes were glued to the crystalline water.

You had barely talked since he went to your room that morning, the usual spark in your eyes was gone, leaving empty yet still beautiful (e/c) orbs behind. You didn't smile as brightly as before, your smile carried a sadness with it, a sorrow.

He wanted to ask you what was wrong, he wanted to know. A part of him needed to know. Jungkook didn't know why he was having such strong needs, such emotions. He was only meant to protect you, to keep you away from harm and that included any type of harm.

Suddenly, he stopped rowing but that didn't make you look up from your lost gaze in the waters.

"Princess,"

You hummed when you heard Jungkook speak to you though you didn't look at him, your eyes continuing to gaze down at the waters below.

"may I ask you a question?"

"You already did."

Was your response. It was dull, something in it ached in between the words. It wasn't normal of you, for as long as Jungkook himself could tell. He sighed, before speaking again.

"Are you alright?"

You blinked when he asked that as you rose yourself from your leaning position over the edge to finally look at your personal guard. Your eyes carried something he had never seen before.

Worry.

It was crystal clear, at least to Jungkook. You were worried about something and, for some strange reason, a reason he didn't know, it worried him too to see you like this. It physically pained him to see you, the care-free and sweet Princess in such a sour mood. Carrying such heavy weights over your shoulders.

You didn't say anything, you couldn't. You were scared, you were worried for the kingdom, for your father, for Hobi, for yourself, for your life. It was too much. Too much to process in a single morning. Too much information that it overwhelmed you to the point of tears watering your eyes.

"Is it something about what the counsellor's son told you this morning?"

You gasped at his statement. Jungkook wasn't going to deny it. Yes, he had seen your interaction with Hoseok that very morning, he had seen the way you smiled when he gave you a small package, even when the gardens were drowning in the darkness of the early hours of the day, he could tell you were smiling thanks to the small source of light that was Hoseok's lantern.

"You didn't have the right to do that. You are my royal guard but you can't invade my privacy like that!"

The way you raised your voice at the end made him mentally curse himself. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that.

"I'm sorry, Princess. It was an accident. I didn't mean to spy on you."

You narrowed your eyes at him, somehow deep within you, you knew he was telling the truth but you didn't want to believe him, you didn't want to slide it off. He had invaded your privacy and that was out of the line.

"He went there to give me my pastries. You know I'm not allowed to eat them until my wedding day. Hoseok is my best friend but of course I don't have to give you any explanation of my decisions. You are meant to do a job so just... just do it. Stop trying to always make me happy, life is not like that! Stop it, just... stop it. Please."

Your words crushed his heart, not because of what you said to him but because they only proved his beliefs, something had happened, something that was hurting you.

"You only have to do what you were told to do. You don´t have to care for me, not in this way. You are asking if I'm alright and as you can see, I'm not physically hurt so stop caring so much, you don't have to do it."

The look he gave you the next second was enough for you to know that your words, even though they were cruel, had gotten to him. Tears brimmed at the corner of your eyes and you did your utmost to blink them back. Jungkook stared at you, his jaw clenched and you felt like he wanted to say so many things to you but he was refraining himself.

His eyes bored themselves into yours and in that moment you wished the water would swallow you completely so that you wouldn't face him.

That's good. You have to stay away. You have to stay away from me so that you can't get hurt. Please, Jungkook. Just back off.

You thought to yourself as you continued to watch each other. The atmosphere tensing.

"But... what if I care?"

A tear rolled down your cheek slowly. No, please don't say that. Please... He ran a hand through his hair and looked back at you.

"I care for you, Princess."

You closed your eyes, letting the tears freely fall down your cheeks.

"You can't."

Whispered words reached his ears. Making his heart shake with the need to hold you, promise you that it was going to be alright.

"But I do."

You opened your eyes, looking at Jungkook through blurry vision. His eyes were filled with tears and you felt an ache in your heart at the sight of his tears.

"You weren't supposed to. You were only meant to protect me, Jungkook. That's it, nothing else."

He sighed, his eyes lowering to your trembling hands resting on your lap. He had a sudden urge to hold them. To hold you. To comfort you.

"I know. Love is blind, Princess. No-one gets to choose."

You took a shaky breath, calming yourself a bit only for him to continue.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I'll... I'll accept the punishment for my actions, Your Highness."

He lowered his head, ready to accept whatever consequences there were for his actions. In that moment, Jungkook realised you were untouchable, the forbidden fruit he had come to desire, an expensive and beautiful jewel he could never have.

"No."

At that, he lifted his gaze and looked at you who gazed at him with such hurt in your eyes it forced him to swallow the lump in his throat.

"You are not getting punished for this. No-one should. It... It just happened and I couldn't... I wouldn't be able to see you go."

A tear left his eye, rolling down his cheek while leaving a wet trail over his honey skin.

"I care for you too, Jungkook."

That was the moment the seasons changed. The warm days were over and both you and Jungkook knew that. It was forbidden, it was socially unacceptable, a disgrace.

You were engaged, the Princess who was going to become Queen while he was only your personal guard. Meant to protect you of any harm. But he was just that, a royal guard. A handsome middle-class man caring way more than needed for you, King Lee's only daughter.

He, as well as you, were aware that colder days were to come soon. And just like that, with simple words that revealed each other's heart, the summer days were over.

Four Seasons Taglist: @seokout

May 28/2023

Likes, Reblogs & Comments are really appreciated!!!

~Masterpost

[firstkanaphans]

SMASH or PASS: GMMTV 2024, Part 2

Ossan’s Love: Based on the trailer we were given, PASS. However, I will watch this one regardless because it’s EarthMix and I have hope that the actual show will be a bit less cringe because P’Au is directing it and we know from MSP that he can do romantic comedy well. Unfortunately, I have not seen the original and this particular trailer made me never want to.

Leap Day: PASS. Not even an autistic-coded Gun Attaphan could save this one for me. But good for Pond! This is a huge role for him.

The Heart Killers: Obviously, SMASH. I know people are saying this feels like SandRay 2.0, but I’m getting more YokGaipa vibes and I am living for it. You can read my full review here, but I just want to go on record once again and say how grateful I am that FK got an adult show with an adult plot and a queer director.

Friendshit Forever: SMASH. It’s giving me Cruel Intention vibes and if they let Mook and Pat make out at least once, I’ll send them a fruit basket.

Perfect10 Liners: PASS. If I never hear the words “Engineer Cute Boy page” again, it will be too soon. 

Us: SMASH. Both Bonnie AND Emi make my brain go brrr, so I can’t promise I’ll be able to produce any coherent content about it, but I will be eagerly watching.

Hide & Sis: SMASH. This looks amazing and I loved P.S. I Hate You, so I’m expecting great things. Plus, Lookjun and Pepper finally get to work together! I’m so happy for them.

Thame-Po: SMASH. I know nothing about LYKN, but I enjoyed the trailer and I think it’s a great way for GMMTV to market their musical artists. Don’t think it’s going to help with people IRL shipping Est and William, though.

Break-up Service: lol, PASS.

Revamp the Undead Story: I will watch it because it is Boun’s baby and I love him, but in general, vampire shows only interest me if they’re slutty and I’m not sure GMMTV is going to allow that. So…PASS?

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist: Genuinely, I didn’t think there was anything that could make Mark Pakin unattractive to me, but they somehow managed it. That trailer was just weird. Ohm TPK is way too green to be leading a BL and I didn’t sense any chemistry between him and Mark. I hope the show's good for Mark’s sake, but my expectations are not high. PASS.

The Dark Dice: I think I might have to wait until the actual trailer for this one, but tentatively SMASH. The problem is that I’m not a huge fan of Prom or Prim, so I would be watching exclusively for Gemini.

The Ex-Morning: Y’all, I’m still drooling over Singto in that fucking trailer. I’m sorry, but he looks hot as fuck. I’d SMASH for him alone. This was by far my favorite plot of the night. I love me a good rom-com and since this one’s being written by P’Aof (and none of the characters are blind), I trust him.

Overall, I thought this was a much better line-up than Part 1 and I'm excited for what's coming!

EDIT: I forgot Scarlet Heart Thailand, which I guess makes my opinion obvious. It's a PASS. If I was a woman surrounded by that many men, I would run. That's a horror movie, not a love story. And even without knowing anything, I guarantee she's going to end up with Win. Because someone at GMMTV thinks he's hot or whatever.

[sky-squido]

i, like every other fic author in existence, love getting comments from people who enjoyed my work. i don't care if your comment is "late" (that's so weird to me like it's literature—do you apologize to homer for being late to reading the odyssey?) or "unintelligible" (late night commenters, english language learners, people who feel like they "just aren't that good with words", believe me, i entirely understand what you mean and appreciate it immensely), or anything else that you feel might make your comment 'not good enough'. i love all of the comments i receive and i am eternally grateful to all of you for your continued support.

and yeah, i've read fics where i felt like adding a comment would be doing the fic a disservice because there was nothing that could be said that wouldn't cheapen or patronize the magnum opus i'd just witnessed. in instances like this, that is exactly what i say in the comment: "there's nothing i can say that doesn't do this work of art a disservice. thank you for writing this."

actually, now that i think about it, there are a bunch of ao3 comments i've gotten that i still haven't replied to because i felt any thanks i could give would be inadequate. i should really get around to replying because i want them to know how spellbound they left me. i love you all, have i ever mentioned that?

all of that being said, i would like to make a public service announcement!

at least under default settings, ao3 authors do get notified every time you edit a comment. i've accidentally hit send too early before, or realized i forgot something i wanted to say, i get it, i really do. i have edited many comments in my day.

but you don't have to do this. really, it's okay. most of the time i honestly can't tell what the difference is. i'm not going to think worse of you for having typos in your comments because i guarantee that there were more in the fic you just read sfkljghsl

also these edits were over the course of twenty full minutes. i got another email while writing this post and had to update the image. please do not spend 20 minutes agonizing over your comment and changing the capitalization and adding a few words. it's okay, i promise. i love your comment, and i'm very very grateful for it, regardless of how "polished" it is. i'm not your english teacher in disguise.

tl;dr, i love you all and i hope you don't feel anxiety or a compulsion towards perfectionism in my ao3 comments section. i won't judge you, i promise <3

[xxstraykidsaikoxx]

Friendships W/ other idols

• 𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕖 𝕀𝕕𝕠𝕝��

➷ NI-KI (NiKo)

Long lost siblings

Japanese Maknaes

Ai's contact name: KuroKo🐈‍⬛

Niki's contact name: Niki Riki💫

Ai and Niki is a pair that is dubbed to be unstoppable. When they're together, it is guaranteed to be hyper and excitable. The two met during ISAC when the maknaes of the groups competing had to give a speech (i think it was ISAC someone correct me if im wrong😭) and after their speeches were done, they talked a little and their personalities just clicked. Aiko calls Niki the brother shes never had but needed, while Niki calls Aiko one of his comfort people.

➷ SUNGHOON (AiHoon)

Introvert besties

Winter lovers

No contact names known

Again, Aiko and Sunghoon were a pair that unexpectedly got along. They met through Ni-Ki and bonded over their shared love for the winter season (i forgot if hoon's fav season was winter or not so im making it his fav season alr). Not too many interactions between them but they do have a few dance challenges together, for both S-CLASS and SWEET VENOM.

➷ HARUTO (HaruKo)

Trainee besties

YG artists

Ai's contact name: Kuma💃

Haruto's contact name: Haru🐰

Haru and Ai's friendship started way back in early 2015 during the japan auditions for YG. Ai and Haru were of the few accepted and met at the airport to Korea to begin their training. They remained to keep in contact as they trained. When Aiko was removed from the BLACKPINK lineup, Haruto was there to comfort Ai the best he could. When Aiko eventually debuted in SKZ, and Haruto in TREASURE, they continued their friendship through interactions at award shows and dance challenges together, which evidently sparked a dating rumor. This was addressed and shot down after explaining that the two are just really close due to their history together and it was quickly resolved.

➷ JAEMIN (JaeKo)

Coworkers to besties

Supportive friends

No contact names known

For those who don't know Jaemin I'll give some quick info. Shin Jaemin is a member of a newish boy group called 'XEED' and he actually used to be a back up dancer for SKZ! Many have noticed he looks nearly identical to Hyun and I myself have bought into it, (in fact Jaemin is what got me into SKZ)

Now onto their relationship. Aiko and Jaemin became friends when Jae became a back up dancer for the group. Because of Ai's friendliness, Jaemin found himself talking to her alot, often asking her for tips and advice despite being older than her. When Jaemin made his debut in XEED, Aiko helped promote the group by doing dance challenges and posting about it on her social medias. In turn, Jaemin has helped promoting Ai's solo activities any way he can, also doing dance challenges with her and posting about it on social media.

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

[novelcain]

Please read 🙏

So. I mentioned in the tags of one of my first posts back that I had to announce a few things that'd probably lose me some followers, but like I don't blame anyone if you do skedaddle because I know most of you are here for the monkie (totally understandable tho)

That being said I am no longer hyperfixated on jttw/Sun Wukong and that likely won't happen again for a while cause main the thing that caused me to clock out for so long kinda left a bad taste in my brain. However I will eventually come back to it. I can guarantee that. It just won't be for a hot minute (maybe who knows I can't control my brain lol)

As for the 10 billion asks I have in my inbox rn I'll be taking screen shots of the ones that have to do with monkie and such and putting them in a folder so that when I DO get back into jttw I'll just immediately start with those. So yeah if you sent me a really long ask FEAR NOT!😃 for I refuse to get rid of any of them 🥰

With that information tho, I never really intended for this to be just a monkie blog that's just what my hyperfixation had been on since I started. But I also tried to force that hyperfixation to stay way longer than I should have so that I could keep making content that my followers would like which is a part of the reason why I needed a break for so long. I wore myself out, and I needed to convince myself that it was okay for me to make content that makes me happy too. 😌

Tho unfortunately that does mean all my current projects will be on hold and I'll be updating the titles on ao3 soon to On Hiatus. 😔

I ofc will still gladly interact with/absorb any art or writings inspired by or dedicated to my works even if they aren't something I'm currently fixated on because effort deserves recognition and I love seeing ya'lls stuff more than anything. 🥰 Same goes for any submissions with art or edits/videos.

Also I did finish my Triad AU Sun Wukong character sheet like... forever go and just forgot to post it. 😬 (I KNOW I'M SORRY! 😭) SO I'll be posting that soon once I'm done moving everything around and making things more manageable and ✨️aesthetic✨️ on the blog.

Tho that kinda brings me to the next announcement I'll be merging my art blog and my spam blog onto this blog (so many blogs😫) cause honestly 4 blogs is just too much and I just wanna vibe 😅🤚 lol

The last announcement is that once I'm done rearranging everything I'll be going through all my mentions that I've missed and checking out what you guys made while I was gone cause I heard from a few people that there's quite a bit 😊 *much excitement* (on god I need an emoji that looks like it's vibrating because I need visual representation of how I feel like imma explode sometimes)

[cayde6feetunder]

i mentioned it in some tags fucking forever ago and I posted about it on twitter but might as well post it here too

"I can't be ableist, I'm [x]" has done so much damage to mentally ill and disabled spaces and or threatens to do so. and unchecked internalized ableism and unchecked ableism as a whole.

i am someone with unsavoury symptoms and conditions. There's no beating the bush about this one. My symptoms are considered ugly and there have been times where I've met people who have been all like, "Support people with unsavory symptoms" but when I actually started hanging out with them they ended up being more ableist than anyone I've ever met.

I have memory issues. On some days I forget things quite literally as they happen to me. There's no guarantee I'd remember what you've said to me. It doesn't mean I don't care, I literally sometimes forget what I was doing three minutes ago. no, I'm not making an excuse, I literally forgot that you were bothered by, say, bugs and it was not intentional. Now I will most likely remember but please don't be bothered if moving forward I ask you to clarify what you're bothered by.

I have issues with my emotions. I struggle to articulate what I'm thinking and feeling. PLEASE ask me to elaborate on things before jumping at me and accusing me of twisting things around or whatever, or inviting conflict, or a thousand other "UM ACTUALLY--"s. And please, PLEASE don't assume things, ASK ME THINGS. Let me speak.

I have issues with anxiety. I often distance myself from 90% of discord servers and even my own friends (even if they don't notice it) because I am deeply terrified that they secretly don't like me or they're seconds from snapping, or they find me annoying, or about a thousand fucking other things that there are times where I feel deeply, deeply ill. It's not that I don't like you; it's that I'm actively struggling with myself and putting forth a lot of effort to make things work on my end.

I have PTSD. That PTSD on top of the anxiety manifests in my fear of old terrible cycles repeating even if they're out of my control. This makes pretty much everything else mentioned way worse. Everything is a CONSTANT WAR within myself. I'm a perfectionist and I feel like even if it's not my fault I convince myself that I did something wrong and I rationalize things that way. There's also the bipolar and the BPD.

I am medicated and learning how to manage these things. But we need to accept that these symptoms are ugly, that while I'm doing my part, I and others like me still deserve grace and tenderness and we do NOT need our own community and/or communities who claim to have the exact same issues treating us like shit, spitting on us, or being in general hypocritical towards us in claiming that they support us but then do everything that seems to state the obvious.

it really is your own people sometimes. and it shouldn't have to be.

and whenever i try and say things like this I have people telling me I'm "DODGING RESPONSIBILITY," no I'm not, you cannot assume such things of me when you're only seeing me talking about a very real issue that I and many others face.

Stop reblogging and posting about how much you love and support "unsavoury" symptoms and conditions but then turn around and treat those very same people like absolute shit.

And don't get me started on how autistics like to treat other autistics just because their autism happens to be different.

I'm sorta fuzzy so it's super hard to really articulate or parse together what I'm trying to say properly but I hope what I'm trying to say comes across. Ableism within disabled and mentally ill communities fucking suck. Learn to actually care about and support people with symptoms and conditions you can't romanticize.

[welcometololaland]

I know you're off line right now, so ignore this for as long as you want (or forever) - but you sent me such a lovely nice ask week ask, so I want to come into your inbox and ask one too.

I know you live in Australia, but you've traveled a lot in Europe - so my question is, what do you do on the flights? How do you keep yourself entertained and not twisted into a pretzel shape by the end of it?

hi lim! thank you for this 💜 what an interesting question! honestly, i'd love to know other people's theories on long-distance plane travel, because i feel like i'm no master.

that being said, melbourne to anywhere in europe requires a solid 12.5 hour flight and then usually another 6-8 hour one one on top of that, so i do have SOME travel tips. i think these are my best ones, but i'd be SO KEEN to hear others :)

if you're flying through any major airport (abu dhabi, dubai, singapore, doha, etc.) remember that they will make you do security again just before you go to your gate. this means it is imperative you do not fill up your water bottle in the airport unless you have time to drink it! i've been forced to down so many litres of water just to get my bottle on the plane (for some reason they never have taps near the gates?!).

sleep is your friend. personally, i don't bother with timezones, i just try and get as much of it as i can. i know this is controversial, as some people like to time their sleeping with their destination, but honestly i think sleeping on planes is patchy as it is so you may as well sleep when you're tired. there's an art to this too - i order an alcoholic drink with the first meal service (usually just after take-off), and use it to make me a little drowsy. during the post-meal coffee service, i forego any tea, coffee or sodas and have a cup of plain hot water. that usually lets me go to sleep as soon as the cabin lights go off. bring a sweater so you're warm enough, wear comfy clothes and warm socks and don't be afraid to ask for extra blankets if you need them - sometimes planes can be SUPER cold. also, use the free mask/earplugs they give you if you can (the earplugs do some weird sensory shit to me so i can't handle those, but the mask is usually great).

if you have any dietaries whatsoever, don't forget to order specific meals. this means you never miss out, even if you are asleep when the trolley comes around. you can always request it later. one time i forgot to put in meal requests on a 12.5 hour flight it was torture. i had to survive on apples.

always bring a charged laptop (preferably with a lot of fic or netflix shows pre-downloaded) and headphones. you can never guarantee what movies they're gonna have and honestly i find my own entertainment more worthwhile. books are a little dicey because if you're flying at night and they turn the cabin lights off, you don't wanna be that asshole turning the overhead light on while the person next to you is trying to sleep.

if you know your bladder sucks, PLEASE choose the aisle seat (that is me - aisle always).

if you're travelling with one other person and you're on an A380 or similar, there's usually an option to pick a seat right down the back of the plane with rows of 2 rather than 3. this changed my life when i discovered it. as long as you have the patience to wait 2223847 years to de-plane, it can be so handy because you never have a random between you and you can a) get better sleep and b) go to the bathroom whenever you want.

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS carry baby wipes. You'll need them for your hands, when you spill something on yourself or (on the 12.5 hour flight) your underarms lol. Also, please for the love of god wear shoes in the bathroom.

during stopovers, try to find the most random bathroom available (good idea to go for a walk if you have the time), set up shop, and do a cleanse. brush your teeth, brush your hair, wash your face, apply some lip balm (plane environments are super drying, especially for that long). i always carry a small toiletries bag (making sure you're not carrying liquids over 100ml) in my carry on. it makes you feel SO much better. you can also do this when you get to your destination, just before you leave the airport (before/after baggage collection).

bring a phone cable. sounds stupid but the amount of times i have forgotten one...

travel as light as possible with carry on. my personal favourite is to have a backpack with my charger, laptop, a sweater/jumper and small toiletries bag, and then i also carry a fanny pack-type bag that can be shoved into the top of my backpack. the separate small bag is super handy walking around airports though because you can have your wallet, phone, boarding pass and passport on you at all times and really easily accessible. this hack will also save you SO MUCH TIME at security check. if you travel light, you'll find it so easy separating out your laptop and liquids at any check in.