#i had a tag for rpfs but i already forgot what it was

[sassykinzonline]

ok so realistically, or not realistically, thoughts on Boruto? Thoughts on the whole family thing, Naruto being the hokage, would you change anything? Thoughts on other parings? Like, narusaku, sasuhina, sasusaku, narhina, gaanaru, etc. I’m having a brain riot and need opinions😭

boruto:

i feel like it wasnt really necessary to have bio kids be the lead of the anime especially if they were just going to rehash dynamics that already happened but het. based on the newest chapter, i have to say i wish they would stop hetconning things. naruto being hokage is whatever since im sure its what the audience was waiting for but in the manga they dont just have the older gen ninja just get trapped or killed, theyre off doing their own thing or dealing with subplots or whatever. i think the recent ninja storm game handles this way better than the manga and anime do. i think you can tell kishi isnt interested in this based on how lazy a lot of the storytelling choices are. he almost had something interesting going on with kawaki but then it just kinda went off the rails. so what would i change? i would just scrap the whole thing and approach it completely differently. im not even sure i would use kids given they had a real opportunity to make it more adult, kinda like the way atla transitioned into lok.

other pairings:

i pretty much hate the majority of ships ive come across, not gonna lie. i mean i dont judge anyone for coming up with them, thats their right but i just dont get the logic behind them. particularly certain ships like sasuhina would require both of us to be completely different people for it to work, but ultimately if people want to explore dynamics that way i dont care. if i look at certain ships as people are without their fundamental traits changing then...

narusaku - this is toxic because sakura doesnt respect naruto at all. she never will because shes always seen him as a nuisance. their relationship would be her "settling" for him given his newfound status as a hero and the fame and attention she would get from that, but behind closed doors she'd probably belittle him a lot. naruto would put up with it because he doesnt have a backbone /hj.

naruhina - i mean i think hinata's a nice enough person but they have no chemistry and she also just wants/needs things from naruto so its not healthy for him again. naruto should be with someone who can protect him, and who can fight for him (like me).

gaanaru - .........................begrudgingly gaara does fit the condition i mentioned above but i feel that politically they would be a bit at odds and gaara cant fully understand naruto. but yes as a consolation ship, this is probably one of the better ones.

this is where i say honestly, painfully, if you ask me, neji probably wouldve been best for naruto besides myself. he can understand naruto's worldview, he can protect naruto, he has a personality that complements naruto. the only thing is that neji still fundamentally sees hinata as a priority so i dont know how that would play out.

i cant comment on every single ship so i'll try and just go through ones i would fix and how, and then some "crackships" i have.

leesaku (or whatever you guys call it) - lee's probably the only one sakura disrespected and then ended up respecting. his personality is such that he deals with conflict extremely well and doesnt internalize things, so he would be able to respond to sakura's shallowness and pettiness. theyre both competitive. i feel that sakura would also learn from him how to take pride in achievements, failure, and growth and build her self-esteem properly. i dont like inosaku because regardless of Lesbian Rights or whatever, sakura has consistently treated ino like shit for no reason and its not even in a "um we're awkward way" its in a "ino risks her life for sakura because shes a good person and sakura curses her out" kind of thing. lesbians should be in healthy relationships.

tenkuro - theyre both meant to be experts in a certain field that complement each other. theyre both in the middle of two extreme personalities. kankuro is a bit less of a douchebag by the time he gets older. i wouldve paired this instead of shikatema if we had to have a crosscountry couple. shikatema is gross.

hinakiba - kiba's probably the only one who treated hinata with respect their entire lives and without wanting anything in return. like weirdly enough hes the only guy i can think of except maybe choji that didnt talk shit about a woman (whether it was deserved or not) so i feel like instantly that kind of makes him a good match for someone as meek as her. hes supportive without being passive and passionate without really being aggressive. i dont know what hinata does for him because i dont really know what hinata does for anyone, but i think kiba just wants A Woman so she fits the bill.

sasudeath - if i cant have naruto give me death.

inosai is probably the only ship i actually like because they compliment each other well. again i dont care about gay/straight whatever but if ino wants to date a hot guy, let her date one. she chose one that she gets along with easily, respects her (not just respects her but he loves her proudly), and tempers her personality well. theyre pretty cute in boruto. i would keep choji and karui only because cho cho is an angel.

[askew-d]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "askew-d "?

hello, there! sorry for the long wait, i forgot to check my notifs :( i will do better next time. thank you for this question! i feel like i’ve waited ages for someone to ask me exactly that, lol. i could talk about well-written fanfics forever!! can i give you a hug? because this is wonderful, really.

let’s go for it! my range of fanfiction that i enjoy vary, but one thing remains: i will adore your fic, no matter the fandom, if it’s written with passion and if it contains good, poetic introspection. i love poetry. for me, if there’s melancholic tropes of any kind i’m into it. immortal character and reincarnation? give me now. supernatural elements or slice of life with doomed narrative? i’ll ignore sleep to read it. angst with happy ending? my endgame, for sure.

however, i also adore silly, comedic, cute pieces of domestic life or otherwise. i had a hard time choosing from my bookmarks for this, and i also reviewed some of my favorites, it was fun. before we continue, here are some of the tags that i don’t dive into for whatever reason: porn without plot (it personally just doesn’t interest me at all), non-con, gore, a/b/o dynamics, soulmates au. sorry if you were hoping for it! i’ll try classify them into an order of what i like most.

1. jellyfish, by mystery twin, for the haikyuu!! fandom — i read this when i was finishing high school and coincidentally the story talks about finishing high school! i have a personal attachment that makes me reread it every year. it’s some sort of tradition at this point. not to mention i love kagehina dearly.

2. teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — respectfully speaking, i would find this author and give them a big hug. their writing is spetacular! if you've never seen this one and you're into mdzs, know it's a story where the characters get to see every event from the novel and donghua, even the dead characters. they watch wei wuxian journey, can you believe it? so goddamn entertaining. promptly waiting for the next update!

3. a hundred or so hellos, by iwillstillopenthewindow, for the haikyuu!! fandom — remember i said i love melancholic stories? well, this one broke me so hard, i had to mention how i hold it with tenderness (we love things that breaks us, dont we?). this fandom manages to write the cutest, most unhinged things sometimes. even it's an anime about sports. i always get amazed by it.

4. no certainty of doors between us, by betts, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — certainly the most silly little fanfic i've ever seen, it's hilariously sweet. i want everyone to read this masterpiece because, seriously, whoever did this deserves only the best. so, so, cute. it had to be in my top 10!

5. their kindred encounters, by fireflavoredwhiskey, for the untamed rpf fandom (bjyx) — you know those kinds of shows, books, any piece of media, that tears up apart? well, this one was it for me. it's a very famous one that deserves all praise, certainly well-written and enjoyable to the core, with doses of angst, romance and beauty overall.

6. as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — aaaaa, i was truly torn between putting this in the third or fourth place, but i ended up putting it here. come on, i love an age difference kind of story, especially for wangxian, and this one was perfectly done. sweet and funny. the development? the yearning?? outstanding!! i read this many times already, i'll never get tired.

7. pursuit, by emleewrites, for the haikyuu!! fandom — mystery, romance, lawsuits, poker games, adventure, slice of life, AMAZING depictions and so, so goddamn well-written? that's what you're looking for in any fanfiction. the author dedicated herself entirely for this story, and, like i said, i love stories that are written with passion, you can see it pouring through every paragraph. besides, highly entertaining. i'm not very into long fics, but once i started it off, i couldn't stop. that's how addicting it is.

8. linger by the door (i’ve always been yours), by piecrust, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — epistolary?? have i mentioned how i love it?? some of the phrases in this are gold, in my bookmarks you can check some of them (i ought to make a list of my favorite fic quotes, btw, i will sure do it). through each letter i could comprehend more of wei wuxian's feelings and his internal conflict. i love feeling this connected to a character.

9. all the world is ours to take, by khrys, for the fugou keiji fandom — i have more than one favorite fanfiction for this couple. you know these kinds of developing relationship where the transition from (maybe enemies too) friends to lovers happens so smoothly that it feels like they've been soulmates first and foremost at the end? i don't even know how to explain. i just love how, when they finally are together, it's like they've been together for years. and they just... made it official? i like it. i love my mr. kambe haru.

10. he won’t tell you that he loves you, by hellshandbasket, for the house m.d fandom — i found this to be the most fitting, perfect story for this specific couple. they deserved more stories like this, but we dont see it anymore. i would hightlight the feelings realization in this one, that is so fucking real? haha in any case, it's a fanfic that i enjoyed a great deal.

that's it, i guess! i wanted to add link click fanfics also, however i barely started reading fanfictions from its fandom, i'm drowning in it lately but it's just a start. perhaps very sooon!

oh, i’m gonna finish explaining about the name! in my native language, i’ve heard someone tell me before that ‘life’s a little askew, nothing’s ever perfect’, and that quote remained in every biography of any english website i ever went to. then in literature class someday i had to write about historical women and came across this one named anne askew (i wanted to write about the mostly barely-spoken women). it was the second time i saw this word. i didn’t think of it as a proper name before, but then i had to create a nickname for my ao3 profile and thought, humn, why not just ‘askew’? the quote has been engraved in my heart anyway, so i went for it. we’re all flawed and askew. so, yeah, it just… fit? the ‘d’ here on tumblr it’s only because my surname has a ‘de morais’ in it. i also liked that it resembled ‘alaska’, the john green character i was kinda of obsessed with back in my teenager grunge phase. i don’t like these kinds of books anymore, but i guess some details stay with you. do you think it’s weird? never thought of changing.

thanks for this outstanding ask, it certainly entertained me. and hope you have a nice sleep today, big hugs coming your way! 🤍

[lokiandbuckysdoll]

The Suit & Hair

Paring: Bucky x reader 

Summary: read the A/N  

Word count: 842

Warnings: SMUT! unprotected sex. (like always let me know if I tagged my warnings wrong or missed something to tag!) 

A/N: It’s 12 Am and  I know I have requests to do but I needed to write this after seeing Seb look that DAMN good at the golden globes. AND IN THIS GIF!!! 

I do not write RPF so I wrote for bucky hope you enjoy it!

Gif creds: @bubbarnes

~~~~~~~~~

You stood in the mass of people, attempting to look for him. He had gone to the restroom just a few minutes before the award ceremony had come to a close.

He raised a question beforehand if you wanted to take off with him to beat the rush of people at the end. You being the ever-stubborn person declined his offer and opted to stay and see what the closing host had to say.

You should have just taken off with him when he had asked. As soon as the host said goodnight and the cameras broadcasting cut off, everyone stood within seconds filling up the packed venue even more.

You gazed around trying to find those lovely blue eyes you adored. You were about to move out of the way from a crowd of people.  Just before you could do so someone grabbed a hold of your arm, causing you to still. Turning around you see one of the ushers from earlier.

" Sorry miss I didn't mean to startle you, however, you almost forgot this" he held up the clutch bag you had bright with you for the night.  You let out a sound of relief.

" Thank you! I can't believe I almost left this!" you grab the bag from his hands giving him a soft smile. " Of course, enjoy the rest of your night" he replied before walking off.  

You smile once more thankful for the kind man who would save you trouble from later freaking out about where you had left your bag.

You turn around once more and as you looked around, you find your husband. Your breath hitches upon seeing Bucky, he was raising his hands in the air and motioning for you to come over to him. To others in the room, it may just look like he's trying to tell you to leave and where he's at, yet you knew that facial expression all too well. He was pissed and jealous.  

Your feet were quick to move threw the mob of people and in the direction of where he was standing. Once you reach him those beautiful eyes held that jealousy. What made you even more sure was when he leaned down to your ear.  

" Just wait till we get home doll" he whispered in your ear. You were already turned the moment you saw bucky in his suit. This, though made you even more turned on. He pulled back placing a kiss on your temple and smiled before taking your hand and moving through the crowd smiling and saying goodbyes.

The car ride home was the quickest you have ever seen bucky drive. He didn't even give you a chance to get through the front door before he was on you like a hawk.  

He pushed you against the front door, kissing down your neck and hitting the spots that made you moan. Only he knew how to make the prettiest sounds come out of you.  

" You know it's a shame doll" he pulled back smiling. " You looked so fucking hot in this dress tonight,  That I wanted to fuck you at the venue" he moved his hands up and down your body.

" Then do it" you whimpered as he grabbed your breasts and squeezed them.  

"Trust me Mrs. Barnes  I will, but you smiled at that other man. You need a punishment" You looked him in the eyes and then down at his lips you couldn't resist the need to kiss him. You warp your arms around his neck and pulled him down into a heated kiss.

 A gasp leaves your lips as he picks you up, your legs instantly wrapping around his waist. Your dress bunches up and you begin to slowly grind against him.

His lips moved away from your mouth. " Fuck I need you right now, " he held you with one arm while the other went to undo his pants. He pulled out his already hard member, he bunches your dress up more before moving your panties aside.

" Your always so wet for me Dekta"  A moan leaves your mouth as he began thrusting into you  " Take me,  I'm all yours Mr. Barnes"  He began to place hungry love bites on your neck. Your fingers run through the end of his hair before you fisted it messing up the style you loved.  

That action alone caused him to speed up his rhythm making both of you closer to the edge. " I can feel you,  let it go I got you!" he moaned into your neck right as both of you hit your release.  

He placed his forehead agist yours, and the two of you stayed there cashing your breaths. After a couple of minutes, he spoke.

" This doesn't get you out of your punishment Dekta" with that he took you to the bedroom. The rest of the night was spent in the bedroom. The following morning him carrying you around the house because you couldn't walk properly.  

~~~~~~~~~

🏷️: @caothicshit @missvelvetsstuff @huntressandlioness1 @springdandelixn

@hannibals-favourite-meal  @silverfire475​ @vbecker10​ @sarahrogersevans​ 

@imyourbratzdoll @nana1000night @Tomandcakes 

[rizzstappen]

College Au, I agree that you def should write it 👀👀

Ahh okay I’ve been tinkering with this for a bit! Thank you for this ask Danni!!

This is my first time writing for Maxiel and first time writing rpf in years so please be easy on me 😭 but of course feedback and any questions are welcome!! Inspired by this picture and the tags!!

Sorry for any mistakes! But I don’t think I can look or edit this anymore without going insane 🤪 enjoy!!!

Maxiel College AU where it’s a special day during junior year!

—

“C’mon one more DR!” Blake shouted from across the tennis court. The Austin sun beating down on them making the already humid day feel worse than it actually was.

“Yeah, nah mate,” Daniel called back as the three men walked toward the net where they had set their backpacks down to get in a quick tennis match. “Max is waiting for me. I promised I’d be back on time. He says it’s a special day.”

Daniel had been thinking all day about it.

Before leaving for class Max had whispered to Daniel something about a special day. In his sleepy haze all the Aussie could do was hum and try to pull his boyfriend back into the warm duvet covers away from the busy campus outside their window.

Every morning was a routine once the semester began. Max woke at 7 am for his 8 am lecture. Showered. Got dressed. Kissed Daniel before he headed out the door. Daniel, of course, didn’t have class until 1:30. He liked sleeping in and staying up late. Plus he worked at the local bar which meant late night shifts. Max didn’t mind it. They always made sure to leave the afternoons free around dinner time so they could catch up on the day before Max went to play FIFA or do homework and Daniel went to work.

“He said that? You don’t know what the special day is?” Scotty asked with a slight scoff knowing if he forgot a date Chloe would have his head.

Daniel rolled his eyes sliding his backpack onto his shoulders and hiding his sweaty curls under a black and green hat “no he didn’t say what it was. If I ask he might kill me so I’m off to get some flowers on my way home” he nodded hopping the day would reveal itself when he walked in the door.

After saying bye to Blake and Scotty, Daniel headed out to the local flower shop. It was small with a French exchange student behind the counter who flirted way too much with Max in his opinion. The green eyed student recommended a bouquet of roses. Cliche.

Instead Daniel opted for an assortment of red, yellow and white tulips. Like the ones Max spoke about from his home country. Daniel liked to get flowers often wanting to give Max a little piece of home since he couldn’t travel back to Holland often.

The jingle of his key alerted the cats of Daniel’s return to the small apartment. Once inside the cats curled around his ankles and purred against his leg welcoming him back. Daniel leaned down scratching both Jimmy and Sassy behind their ears with whispered ‘hey guys, where’s dad?’ He toed off his shoes by the door before walking towards the living room. Max wasn’t in his usual spot on the worn leather couch Daniel had practically begged Max to bring back after they found it on the side of the road last year.

“Hello?” He called out the crinkle of the cellophane echoing around the tulips in Daniel’s hand.

“Shit” Max’s quiet voice echoed coming from the kitchen. Daniel made his way over seeing Max fussing over…something? His broad shoulders hunched down pulling at the fabric of his black polo that were tucked into his jeans being held up by a black belt.

Max turned holding a tray in his hands with what should’ve been a cake. The white frosting and vanilla bread had clearly turned into a crumbly mess.

“It’s supposed to be a cake, of course, but I think I took the bread out too soon and it was too hot. Of course I just wanted it to be decorated before you got back-“ Max rambled. A grin spread on Daniels lips “a cake for this special day?” He asked trying to real more information out of his boyfriend about this mystery day.

Max raised an eyebrow and nodded “of course why wouldn’t there be a cake?” He says.

Cake. Birthday? No. Anniversary? No. Daniel still couldn’t wrack his brain about what this special day might be.

Max smirked at his boyfriend as he sets the tray down on the linoleum lined kitchen counter “you have no idea what today is huh?”

Shit. He was caught. Max could read him like a book but Daniel wouldn’t admit it of course. “What?! Of course I know what today is. I got you flowers. Tulips” he grinned handing over the bouquet.

Max inspects the flowers. Not as good as the ones from his hometown but he knew it was the thought that counted. Max looked his boyfriend in the eyes a grin on his lips as he speaks “then what is today?”

Daniel looks back for a moment. What other possible date would be important enough for a cake?

A laugh bubbles up from Max “you don’t even know!” he smirked happily moving to get a vase filled with water for his flowers. “Daniel it’s the day we met in class” he spoke over the water running into the green vase “three years ago, of course” he nodded shutting the water off and sliding the flowers into the water before setting them down “it’s called a meet cute. I think” he said before he gestured to the cake sat on the counter “that’s what Victoria called it. She said it would be cute to celebrate it.”

The words ‘happy 3 year meet cute’ scrawled out in red icing against the white frosting in Max’s handwriting

Daniel was stunned.

3 years. He couldn’t believe 3 years had flown by. He remembered walking into his Horticulture 120 lecture and the only spot left was next to Max at the front row. He was sure he’d drop the class. It was an elective after all. But then he turned and saw Max’s eyes. Blue. Like the Maldives. In that moment Daniel knew he had to stay. So he did and clumsily introduced himself. His braces giving him a slight lisp. But it was the best thing he had done. Now he had an apartment and two cats with that same boy. And they were celebrating meeting 3 year later.

Daniel gives his boyfriend a soft look before his own laughter filled the space between them “oh Maxy” he said “that’s adorable really. Thank you” he says admiring the icing work he had attempted winning his finger into the white frosting and licking it off his finger.

“Happy three year meet cute anniversary” he said leaning in kissing Max’s blushing cheeks.

Max smiled turning to look at his boyfriend “happy three year meet cute anniversary” he whispered before planting a kiss on Daniel lips.

[mirrorofprinces]

ao3 wrapped ask: 3, 5, 6, 12, 17, 18, 19, 20, 28, 29, 30!

answered 17, 28, 29 <3

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? i thinkkkk i can't stop and look the other way. i knew for sure i wanted to play with infidelity kink (and my original idea was actually for the infidelity to be real lol) but i chickened out and just made it a roleplay, and even clearly tagged it as such, but i'm proud of how i pulled it off in a way that a bunch of people commented saying they forgot or didn't realize it was roleplay hehe. maybe i'll write actual infidelity one day! who knows

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? god, that's gotta be give it to ya like you never had it. i truly didn't expect the response it's gotten because there was already a super popular pornstar AU fic, so i knew my second cake would just be a humble offering in comparison, but i think a lot of people really liked the way i wrote them here where i had fun exploring their personalities outside of mafia canon.

6. Favorite title you used? oh, i hate all my titles, i literally don't think of a title until 30 seconds before posting, and then i end up using whatever song i was listening to while writing...

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? jesus christ. you don't wanna know. it's in the double digits for sure lmao ><

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? i don't know that it's been one character consistently in my posted fics, but i can admit that the "character" in my rpf WIPs that's been giving me hell is apo. he is so hard to write!

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? i guess i can technically say mileapo since i haven't finished or posted any mileapo fics yet. but another kp ship i want to try is (unpopular opinion alert) vegasporsche. hear me out!! they might suck together in the series, but they have a different dynamic in the novel, and their relationship is more genuine (not FULLY genuine but like, more than in the show lol, like they become friends and vegas develops actual feelings for porsche and everything). but i just don't know if i'll ever actually write them because i would need the perfect idea or AU and it hasn't come to me yet.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? probably down like my head on your chest, because i THINK it's my fav la fortissimo fic. i'm just really happy with the scenes i chose to hornify, plus the hallway-semi-public-masturbation bit was a huge turning point for porsche where he was given full control of the situation for once and he still chose to submit. you don't really get this because it's in porsche pov, but from that point on in the series, you notice kinn ends up "playing with porsche's emotions" a lot more (ie. having him drive his twinks home, fucking a lot more escorts, shutting down conversations about their feelings) and that's actually kinn poorly coping with porsche's unwavering trust by trying to prove to himself that he doesn't feel anything for porsche, which we all know is a BIG FAT LIE. but anyways. no one reads into the story this deeply, i know you're all just here for the smut <3

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? my biggest surprise is that i can write again LMAO. before kp brainrot, i went like a full 2 calendar years without writing anything because i was so uninspired, plus constantly comparing myself to the thousands of better writers in the huge fandom i was in at the time. kp also has incredible writers but it's a much smaller fandom and i feel a lot less self-conscious posting here. i remember in my old fandom, i literally couldn't even tweet about an idea i had that i wanted to write without getting a dozen replies from people saying "there's already a fic like that", which is like, ok, i know none of my ideas were especially original, but getting that response constantly made me feel like my writing just wasn't welcome. oh well. with kp being a new and small fandom, nothing feels "overdone" yet, so i'm having a lot of fun in this playground!

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

I Had The Most Vivid Dream, My Feet Had Left The Ground.

by 04tobyOhh04

"Why does this always happen to me?..." Tommy asked himself quietly as he tried to register what just happend. He almost died, almost got kidnapped, and then befriended a wanted vigilante! Phil's gonna kill him when he gets home...

He was about to get up, but then he heard a scream. A blood curling scream that was loud, even tho it was far away. Tommy's head snapped to that direction and his heart started beating faster, and faster. What was that?

He looks around, hoping that someone else was around and heard it too. His day was already going so shit...then he just *had* to hear that.

He sighed and got up from his sitting position, shaking off some of the dirt that was on his pants from the dirty alleyway. He was debating if he should go check it out, if he really wanted to make his already shit day get worse, just to maybe help someone out of a very bad situation.

"Fuck it." He mutterd and started to slightly jog, not even caring anymore about his limp. As he made his way to where he heard the loud scream he slowed down. Is he really going to risk his life...his hands began to shake slightly but then he let out a breath he forgot he was holding.

Words: 3, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza, Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson | Philza, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade

Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Everyone Has Issues, Sleepy Bois Inc as Found Family, TommyInnit is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Villain Wilbur Soot, Villain Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Civilian TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)

[avenging-fandoms]

your tag on the bucky gifset about wanting to see him jealous?? could you write something where reader is an agent and is on an undercover mission by herself with bucky and sam on comms outsite the location. So when bucky hears the target hitting on her or getting handsy.. wheww boy!

I adore your writing btw!! Your RPF Pedro stuff is getting me through✨

“okay, yln, can you hear us?” sam’s voice came through the earpiece faintly as the music boomed around you in the poorly lit clob. 

“turn my piece up a little more and we’ll be all good” they did and checked it, the volume perfect. “okay, who am i looking for again?”

“he’s wearing a black suit jacket and a red sweater. he had a gold ring on his right hand, and if it has a red stone, that’s our guy. good luck, yn” sam explained and you nodded, scanning the club slowly. your eyes found a red sweater sitting at the bar. you smirked and gave bucky and sam a heads up before heading over to the bar. 

you leaned against the marble counter of the bar, the guy’s eyes flowing down your body and up back again. you asked for a martini and the bartender nodded, grabbing a glass. “well.. might i say.. you are the most gorgeous girl to have ever crossed my path” he said softly and you heard a scoff in your ear piece, and you covered a laugh with a thank you to the bartender. you pull out a 10 from your bra while looking directly at the suspect, handing it to the bartender. 

“i bet you say that to all the girls” you smile, sipping your drink. you spun your finger around the rim of your glass, batting your eyelashes slightly. 

“flirting won’t help, yn, just get the ring and go” bucky said snappy and you rolled your eyes as you set down your empty glass. you turned back to the guy, stepping forward with your body pressed softly against his knee. 

“how about you say we find some where quieter to talk. do you have a car, maybe?” you smile and run a hand over his shoulders, a smirk appearing on his face. 

“yes, follow me” you took his right hand, seeing the red stone glimmer in the strobe lights. you sent a signal to bucky and sam, hearing the roar of bucky’s bike in the earpiece. the cool air hit your clammy skin and you let out a sigh of relief as your shoulders dropped. “my car’s just over there”

you heard bucky’s bike screech and you bit back a smile. “oh, shit, i forgot. my ride’s already here. maybe next time!” you smile and pull his ring off in a swift movement, running over and swinging a leg behind bucky. he glared at the man and clenched his jaw, revving the engine and speeding off. 

you cheered as you slid the ring into bucky’s pocket, zipping it up so it didn’t fly out. your arms tightened around his waist with your chin on his bike, admiring him as the stop lights illuminated his features. “do i have something on my face?” he asked and you blinked a couple of times as you shook your head. 

“no, only jealousy” you smile and poke his stomach, bucky shaking his head. “oh come on buck, you’re so jealous! tell me, why were you so jealous?” the light turned green and he sped off without a word. your fingers held his jacket, placing a cheek on his back as he drove into the night. 

bucky killed the engine of his bike and got off, helping you down. you walked next to him and took the ring out of bucky’s pocket, handing it to sam who smiled, giving you a fist bump. “nice work, yn. you didn’t get his number, did you?” you laugh and shook your head, rubbing your arms. 

“no, thank god. i’d much rather have a man who walked with dinosaurs than that creep” sam laughed and you saw bucky smirk out of the corner of your eyes. “i’m gonna head home and eat something. you coming?” sam waved you off and bucky swung a leg over his bike.

“no, i’m alright. i’m gonna stay here for a bit longer. you two go ahead” you and bucky nod, your hand gripping on bucky's bicep as you hopped on behind him. you saluted you sam and bucky’s bike roared to life. he revived the engine and took off, your eyes darting back and forth as you watched his face.

"got something on my face?" he said over his shoulder and you smile, shaking your head and kissing his cheek. "now i have a kiss on my face" he smiled and you laughed, the light turning green and he drove again. he pulled into the driveway into the garage.

bucky killed the engine and you grabbed his hand, pulling him into you. you rubbed your hands up and down his chest, holding his face and kissing him slowly. "tell me," he raised his eyebrows as his hands grip your hips. "how jealous were you that the guy was hitting on me?"

bucky rolled his eyes, licking his lips softly. "i was not jealous of that guy" you laughed, bucky scrunching his eyebrows. "what! i was not jealous"

"you were, i heard you over the earpiece. you wanted me in and out, your tone was not happy" you said and rubbed a thumb over his cheek, bucky sighing. "alright, fine. a little jealous. but how could i not be? you're mine and i don't like other guys flirting with you, mission or not"

"and what did i tell sam? i would much rather be with you than anyone else in the whole world. i love you, buck" he smiled and leaned down, kissing you softly and slowly.

"i love you more" he whispered and you bite your lip, eyes darting around his face. "what?" bucky asked with a chuckle.

"nothing it's just.. you're really sexy when you're jealous" you push your body into his and he sighs, slowly walking towards the door. "bucky?" he hummed against your mouth, pulling your hips up and putting your legs around his waist. "please take me to bed"

"that was the plan, doll" he smirked, kicking the door closed and you laughed, holding his hair in between his fingers as he kissed you slowly.

[bubblebuckys]

first let me just say thank you so much for 1k followers! one thousand!! how are there that many of you who decided i was worth a follow? i can’t tell you how much i love and appreciate every single one of you and how you all have made me smile one way or another. and i cannot thank you enough for being so kind and supportive even when i had just started writing on here.

as you can probably already tell, i’m hosting a writing challenge! but first lets go over some rules

rules:

you do not have to be following me but it’d be cool if you did

if you are participating, reblog this so more people can join in

blog rules apply. you must be 18 or over to enter

send an ask with the prompt you’ve chosen. you can have whichever and however many prompts you want. there is no limit to how many people can have the same prompt

you can mix and match prompts

one-shot, headcannon, series, etc. are fine, as well as fluff, smut, and/or angst

no minimum or maximum requirement, but please use a read more for fics over 500 words

dark fics are welcome but absolutely no pedophilia or beastiality (a/b/o is fine)

stories including hate speech of any kind will not be accepted

— x reader and — x oc are accepted

in a note above the story, please include what your chosen prompts were

characters can be from any fandom, i don’t care i’ll read it and be confused but i’ll still love it. but the characters must be fictional, no rpf

please tag me in the story and use the tag #bubblebuckys1k. if i don’t reblog your fic i probably missed it or forgot so you have permission to bug me until i do read it

use proper warnings and tags

it is really hard for me to be consistent with writing so for people like me, due date is december 31, 2021. if you are writing a series for this challenge, please at least have the first two chapters up by then

and now the prompts!!

dialogue

“If you’re gonna start something, finish it.”

“Come and get me.”

“What’s their name?” “Why?” “I’m in love.”

“They look like a criminal.” “...Technically, they are.”

“Will you stay tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Shut up! You’re gonna get us in trouble!”

“There’s a couple making out at the entrance of my building. Can I spend the night?”

“I swear on everything I was not masturbating!”

“This is your bodyguard. They will be posing as your roommate.”

“I need your help breaking into my ex’s house.” “Okay.” “You’re not even going to ask why?”

“Wanna fuck?” “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” “I won’t.” “I will.”

“Have you ever been arrested?” “Not under this name.”

“I am listening. I just don’t care.”

“If I die, or if you—please know I never hated you.”

“I will do whatever it takes to protect you.”

situational

I know your voice but not your face, so kiss me in the dark before you go.

Stuck in an elevator with the hot stranger who seems to hate you.

A writer with a noisy neighbor.

You can time travel which would be cool, if only you could control when it happens and where you go.

We’ve disturbed the fate’s plan and now we’re stuck in a time loop until we can find out what we’ve done wrong.

I know we haven’t seen each other in a while, but I’m six months pregnant and it’s yours.

When you apply for a marriage license, you get denied because you eloped on a night you can’t remember, with a friend you’ve long lost contact with.

Your boyfriend breaks up with you the day of the ski trip in which he was supposed to meet your parents. But the man you met the day before offers to take his place.

That one-night stand from a week ago is your new neighbor.

You’re perpetually single and staying with your married friends for a while. Their neighbor is nice though.

You’re wanted for a murder you didn’t commit, and the only person who believes you is the child of the lawyer trying to prove your guilt.

Your friend-with-benefits is avoiding you, but not for the reason you think.

Your car breaks down on the way to your best friend’s wedding. Luckily, they offer up their asshole sibling to take you the rest of the way of the very long road trip.

You’re an ER nurse and your loopy patient won’t stop flirting with you.

tagging some people who said they might join: @divine-mistake @sstilinski @bvckysmoon @klinenovakwinchester

[bao3bei4]

kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire 

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right. 

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one. 

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked. 

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did. 

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction. 

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere. 

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015. 

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found. 

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you. 

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom. 

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people. 

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right. 

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.  

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age. 

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible. 

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses. 

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad! 

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare). 

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever. 

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about. 

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story. 

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.) 

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf. 

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes. 

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god. 

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair. 

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah. 

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010. 

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it. 

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu. 

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video. 

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories. 

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably. 

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious. 

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to. 

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended. 

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see. 

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down. 

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not. 

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place. 

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine! 

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them. 

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.) 

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad. 

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again. 

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies. 

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

[dotsayers]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad 

this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb

way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter

as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)

do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)

standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)

a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)

where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter  because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy 

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it! 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo

14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?

oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing

16. What are your writing strengths?

once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope

tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this

[josiebelladonna]

i’ve been seeing this weird sense of entitlement throughout the art community lately, especially on the cartooning side of things. like yesterday, tom bancroft (the guy who organizes mermay every year) posted a dtiys (draw this in your style) drawing on instagram, and it was in his signature disney-inspired style. but i just want to highlight this comment he got all the while.

now look at the response—most of which consists of “i’m a woman and this doesn’t offend me” which tells me that all people care about is “ugh, women can’t be sexy and men can’t draw sexy women, either! it’s not allowed!” but more on that down below. but look at his response, though.

i’ll give him kudos for handling it professionally, but that’s me being generous as possible. i only liked the drawing because i like his technique. and again, that’s me being as generous as possible. i’m not bothered by drawings a little more on the risqué side (most of my repertoire is risqué) but the reaction to her comment is what’s troubling. tom also didn’t really answer her comment, either.

i also saw this tweet this morning—i added on the response because it’s just true.

wacom isn’t the best there is (doubt anyone is really, i’m not turned on by big gimmicks and haven’t been for years, either) but i’m able to make my art on my tablet. it’s lasted me about a year and a half at this point: i’ve dropped it a couple of times, it survived amped and wired, and i’ve made hundreds—literally hundreds—of drawings with my tablet. but no complaints here with me. i’ve been taking good care of it otherwise. turns out, i guess that person complained to them over twitter and got no response. so they got impatient and repeated back to them in a more hostile fashion.

it wasn’t just a one-off, either, i’ve been seeing this a lot lately. something goes wrong and the artist just puts it down.

come to think of it, it’s not just art, either. i’m seeing it in music, particularly female fronted bands or just female musicians as a whole. take the pretty reckless for example. their finest hour was going to hell without question. they put out another album a couple of years later, and then death by rock n’ roll. forgot that follow up album, like i completely forgot it. and then death by rock n’ roll just completely buried it for me. that album is terrible, i hated that one. but... it’s not because i’m ~a female misogynist~ (that’s dumb to assume that with me, too: if anyone accuses me of misogyny, they’re a closet misogynist). no, i found it incredibly irritating and then i forgot about it in a week: and i would’ve said the same thing if a man put it out. but everyone is praising it for some reason. everyone is praising all female artists now, even if what they’re putting out is objectively not good. (also, kim and matt: i love you guys but could you shut the fuck up about taylor already? i don’t need to see a 17th comment about how great she is or how much chris inspired her, it’s starting to feel like nepotism)

i’m seeing it in fanfic, in particular. see: my whole tirade against this new batch of writers on ao3 who are misusing the ridiculously easy tagging system to no end, but also...

now, correct me if i’m wrong because it could just be from the fact i’m asexual and i’m growing more and more comfortable with it lately now that i’m able to talk about it and enunciate it better; but there seems to be this overhanging feeling at the moment, especially in the rpf side of things that you need to get erotic and sexual otherwise you’re going to be left behind. or it has to be obnoxiously fluffy. like there’s no middle ground anymore.

it’s understandable. if it’s any comfort, i can’t stand the amount of censorship that erotic artists and writers have been subject to for decades: i’m no stranger to it. i’ve actually had drawings taken down and i’ve been blocked from posting for a couple of days on fb all because i drew cartoon toplessness. if anything, i think it’s absurd (it’s okay for us to watch something gruesome and violent on the small screen but heaven forbid a kid gets caught with his pants down). but there’s this sense of entitlement behind it, though. like... you HAVE to be sexy otherwise you’re a prude. for example, look at the hits on fever in, fever out.

a fic about life. just life unfolding. whatever intimate moments there are they’re either in the background or they’re understated. on a side-note: i made it actually wholesome on purpose just because i got tired of writing explicit work. this is basically my “wholesome” period, where i don’t feel a need to be sexy all the time, and i can focus on character and storytelling again.

and now look at the hits on the fics below it (blocking out their names because i know better).

it’s crazy, actually. i have a feeling that my whole thing with daveigh definitely did something, too: you know how quickly gossip gets out. heaven forbid you stand up for yourself or have a different opinion, too. it’s not okay for anyone to speak their mind, or we’re just going to leave you out in the cold. you all need to look the same otherwise we will complain and make you suffer.

so safe to say: sometimes it’s not just the algorithms that trample over a difference in perspective, given ao3 isn’t run by an algorithm.

as you can see there, my art’s even taken a hit: when i posted my other “collective” drawings like my belladonna drawings or the spreading the disease drawings, they got up in the 100s rather quickly—thus, the argument that testament is a small fandom doesn’t really work here because my spreading the disease drawings are dated 4/12/20.

i get spam comments on instagram every time i post a drawing now. literally every time, it’s gross. i get them on something genuinely heartfelt like a drawing of a boy and his cat or my tribute to joey jordison: within seconds i see “dm this to such-and-such ❤️” and i get three in a row, too, which i think is interesting. it’s all just mindless entertainment with everyone now, there’s no heart. there’s no soul. and while algorithms play a huge role in it, you can’t really pin the blame entirely on it, though. they choose to complain. they choose to kiss up. they choose to avoid. it’s like everyone’s a literal baby now. no restraint, touchy, demands everything, screams ad infinitum, and has a small mental capacity. i read something just the other day about what’s known as “the flynn effect”, or the fact that average i.q. has been dropping like a rock for decades all because of a dumbing down of youth culture and oversimplification of language, something that i myself have noticed time and time again. on social sites, on writing sites, anywhere there’s art posted, the 1000-lb gorilla that is tiktok with their highest viewed vids being just stupid shit where genuine artists are being overlooked and shoved down into the proverbial mud... and sex sells big time because we’re all idiots now...

it should come as no surprise then that intelligence has gotten increasingly attractive to me. it’s becoming a rare trait. intelligence, and soul, too. and if i’m perfectly honest, it’s a bit depressing.

[hils79]

Fic Tag Game

I saw this on @kholran’s tumblr, liked it to fill in later and then promptly forgot. Don’t check Tumblr as soon as you wake up, fam. You will forget what you did an hour later. Anyway, this looks fun and now that I’m actually writing regularly again I thought I’d give this a go. 

Name: Hils

I am an ancient internet crone who, when I set up a Livejournal back in 2001, decided to just use a version of my actual name. I’m some version of Hils most places.

Fandoms: Since this is specifically about fic, I’m going to limit it to fandoms I’ve written in. Because otherwise we’d be here all night. I’m also not going to include fandoms where I only wrote one fic on a whim. All of the below are fandoms where I’ve written two fics or more. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: This was my first experience with online fandom and still the longest and most prolific time I’ve spent in any fandom I think. My ship of choice was Buffy/Spike. I’ll be honest, when it became canon on the show I kind of lost interest. Be careful what you wish for :D

Pirates of the Caribbean: Yeah, I have a think for enemies to lovers. Jack/Norrington was my ship of choice here. This was also my first m/m OTP. 

Lord of the Rings RPF: This was my first RPF fandom (I know it's not for everyone don't judge me) and my pairing of choice was Sean Bean/Viggo Mortensen. It was a pretty small pairing even in terms of LOTRRPF but I had a lot of fun. 

Smallville: I started shipping Clark and Lex from pretty much the first episode. Which was funny because I’ve been a Superman fan since I was a little kid and never expected to end up here. This was another big fandom for me where I wrote a lot. It’s second after Buffy for number of fics I’ve posted. 

Merlin: This was another one where I started shipping Merlin/Arthur from pretty much the beginning. It’s funny that, as a Brit, this is the only British fandom I’ve ever been in. 

Supernatural: Another big one. I’d watched the show from pretty much the beginning but it wasn’t until Castiel arrived in season 4 that I started writing fic. This is my third biggest fandom in terms of number of fics published and it’s also responsible for my two longest fics

Marvel: I’m using this as a broad umbrella to cover a bunch of different MCU movies, the comics, and the Agents of SHIELD TV show. Pairings I have written are: Tony/Pepper, Tony/Steve, Steve/Bucky, Phil/Clint

The Man From UNCLE: I grew up watching repeats of the old 60s show which I adored, and then the movie came out and was also fantastic, so my fics cover both the movie universe and the TV universe. Mostly Napoleon/Ilya with some Napoleon/Gaby/Ilya thrown in

Check Please: My introduction to hockey and I’m ashamed to say I still haven’t read the end of it despite owning a hard copy of it. Jack/Bitty are so sweet but, again, I kind of lost interest once they actually got together in canon

Hockey RPF: Sort of a natural progression from Check Please really. All my hockey fic is locked and comment moderation is on but it’s there if you feel the need to look. Pairings I wrote were Sid/Geno, Gabe/Tyson and Phil Kessel/Carl Hagelin which was a nice little rare pairing to play with.

The Untamed: My introduction to cdramas. I’ve only posted a couple of fics because I find the fandom quite intimidating in terms of volume and quality.  Weirdly this is one of the few fandoms where the pairing being canonically together just inspired me to write instead of putting me off. This fandom got me writing again after a couple of years of barely posting anything at all. 

Guardian: I fell into this one HARD. I posted my first fic about a month after I finished the show and I still have ideas for more. This was kind of a turning point for me in getting me to write regularly again. 

DMBJ/The Lost Tomb: This is where I pretty much live at the moment. I don’t know what it is about these silly shows that inspires me so much but I love them and the characters dearly. This is one of the few fandoms where I’m just as happy writing gen as I am writing shippy stuff. I just love the Iron Triangle friendship so much. 

Tropes: Hurt/Comfort is the big one for me. Pretty much all my fics involve this trope in some sense. Other than that I think it depends on the characters and the fandom. 

Fic I spent most time on: Definitely  Misha Collins Makes A Match (yes it’s an RPF fic). I had to plot out a whole road trip route set in a country where I don’t live. 

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I generally don’t read my fics after I’ve published them and once they’re out there I consider them Done and move on to thinking about the next one. 

And There's That Pesky Thing Called Reality - I had a lot of fun playing with the meta aspects of fandom. It’s dated quite badly now but if you want a taste of what fandom was like in 2010 this is it.

He's My Brother - I enjoyed exploring different characters’ points of view for this one and how they see Wei Wuxian at different points in the show

Fic I spent least time on: I think I wrote and posted  Love On Ice in one evening. 

Longest fic: Discounting things I’ve written with other people it’s  Misha Collins Makes A Match again

Shortest fic: According to AO3  Three Little Words which is a 200 word Buffy/Spike fic

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks:

Hits:  The Truth About Cats, Dogs and Penguins which is a Sid/Geno hockey RPF fic

Kudos and Bookmarks:  Unleashed which is a Steve/Bucky AU where they meet in their local dog park

Comments: He's My Brother. The Untamed fandom might be a bit scary but they are also very kind

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I’m already planning at least one addition to the Zhu Yilong/Chen Minghao series I wrote for this year’s Sundial Exchange

Share a bit of a WIP: I generally only have one WIP on the go at a time and I just write outlines for any other ideas I have. So, this is a bit of what I’m working on at the moment. This is not, despite the below snippet, a Zhu Yilong/Chen Minghao fic. 

“Do you want his number?” Chen Minghao asks with a grin. “You can ask him yourself. I’ll need to check with him first but I think he’ll be fine with it.”

Something drops in Zhu Yilong’s stomach. He’s a mature adult who has met plenty of famous actors during his time in the industry. But there’s something different about being introduced to someone you admire. He’s not going to let his shyness get in the way of this opportunity though, not when it could help with his current role.

“That would be great. If you’re sure it’s no trouble.”

Chen Minghao waves a dismissive hand. “Of course it’s no trouble. All I need to do is send a text.”

I tag: ALL of my writer friends. I want to know all about your projects. TELL ME.

[bisexualamy]

dnt rb pls

truly still don’t understand what has ppl so angry about ao3

the only two arguments i’ve seen are 1) they take in too much money and don’t “do anything with it” or 2) they allow objectionable content like rpf and r*pe and nsfw content featuring minors

for 1) i’ve talked about this before but i think the ppl saying this truly don’t understand how expensive servers are and how 501c3s work. all of their spending is publicly available online. google it. you can even download a spreadsheet and fuck around with their numbers. servers are bonkers expensive and for ao3 to host the amount of content it does for free, that’s a huge investment.

for 2) maybe this is the lower case l libertarian in me (as in anarchy not american libertarianism) but i don’t want a platform as big as ao3, particularly one that’s specifically supposed to be a safe haven for transformative works (read: works based on copyrighted material), regulating speech like that. i don’t want ao3 to make the call to start taking down work. i feel like ppl forgot really quickly about the ff.net purge and all the fic sites before it that all of a sudden started deleting ppl’s content based on sudden tos updates.

i find r*pe and the sexualization of minors fucking objectionable. i don’t want to read it. i think there are a lot of creepy people who write a lot of creepy shit that really makes me uncomfortable. i still don’t want to give ao3 the authority to just delete ppl’s fics. ao3 lets you tag shit like this accordingly and you also don’t have to read it. this is not the same thing as posting nsfw art in tags for kids shows on tumblr. this is all opt-in content, and ao3 already age-gates explicit content.

i also don’t understand why ppl are getting upset with ao3 for hosting the content and not, say, the actual authors? if you want someone to blame? it would be one thing if ao3 was like youtube and had an algorithm that pushed ppl down content funnels towards this content. then they would have some responsibility. but ao3 is the digital equivalent of a town square or public bulletin board where you post whatever you want to post. if someone shouts heinous shit in the middle of town, you get upset with them, not the town for letting them stand there.

anyway i’m totally willing to believe i’m missing something here but in general my alarm bells ring when ppl call to regulate speech and all of these posts never say what they want ao3 to do besides vague calls for sweeping bans on content.

[stvlti]

Fic Writer Interview

I piped up when @kiseiakhun did theirs so now I gotta pay for my hubris (but also, it's fun! Thanks for going out of your way to re-tag me!)

Name(s): stvlti (tumblr), stultiloquent (ao3)

Fandoms:

Actively writing for: DCU - comics and also related media, by which I mean of course Young Justice the cartoon and somehow also the Titans TV show. I never expected I'd write for a live action TV show series but hey, 2003 Teen Titans were my roots and Titans is a close relative. (Funnily enough I haven't actually seriously written for TT, but it's all about NTT and its derivative works)

Older fandoms on my AO3: Black Mirror: Bandersnatch, Noragami, Death Note

Where you post: AO3 is where I literally archive all my fics that see the light of day, drabbles and crackfics alike, but sometimes they get posted on Tumblr first (especially if it's to fill a prompt) and then make their way over to AO3 for reposting

Most popular one shot (by kudos):

Overall: "the hands that worship you", which is a pwp because I guess y'all love the porn on AO3!

This year: "if you can't summon your own tentacles, store-bought is fine", which is also a pwp because you horny mofos will always pick porn over anything else welp (thanks for leaving kudos though 🤣 and tbf, this one does have the unfair advantage of being literally the second oldest piece posted this year so it's had more time to amass more kudos than my gen / PG rated fics. proportionately though it's definitely not the one I've gotten the highest kudos to hits ratio on)

Most popular multi-chap (by kudos):

Discounting "if you can't summon your own tentacles" (which is more a two-parter that was written as a one-shot), I don't have an answer for either "Overall" or "This year" for this one because I have in fact only ever written one (1) multichap fic since moving to AO3 (we don't talk about the dark days on Deviantart) and said multichap fic isn't even close to within the top 10 most kudos'd fic on my account. That plus it's an RPF from my teenaged years that I really don't wanna plug on main because I don't want y'all to read that shit (it's RPF, come on)

Favourite story you’ve written so far:

I can't answer for "Overall" (cause I feel like I'd be forgetting and therefore neglecting a portion of the stories I've got in my portfolio over the last 8 years), but for "This year" it is in fact my latest entry, "Transference"! I was quite proud of the comfort zones I tested with that one, I pushed myself to write more than 2 character povs for a single piece (my record had always been 2 but in that fic I was juggling 3 - almost 4 character perspectives), plus it gave me an excuse to play around with narrative structure which is always a Thing I'm nerdy about

Fic you were nervous to post:

Cool cool cool so I'm just gonna expose myself with this one, but it was actually the priest kink fic, "When I'm down on my knees you're how I pray". I wanted to contextualise Dick Grayson's guilt issues in a Catholic context as like a what-if, but I've also never been Catholic, wasn't raised Catholic, and it was somehow important to me that I didn't misrepresent the customs and rituals of Catholicism? Even though just writing the fic itself was already fundamentally disrespectful? Idk my brain works on weird logic.

btw if any of you wanna cancel me for this just block me and move on.

How do you choose your titles?:

The title is either based on the central theme / moral of the story, which will come to me as I write and is usually the case for fics I take more seriously, OR, if it's a ficlet I didn't put as much effort into and/or don't intend to show off, I'll usually pull from lyrics for a one liner that hits the emotional notes I'm going for in the story.

Do you outline?:

Almost always. The only fics I haven't outlined are spur of the moment things, stuff that's very focused on a single instance or thought without much plot or coordination needed.

Complete: 26 25 in total

not counting the ones I deleted or orphaned this year (again this number does not include my Deviantart stash shhhh those didn't happen)

In-progress: uh....3 4?

I'm kinda in between the research and planning stage for 3 different fics atm so idk if it's really in-progress in-progress... Those 3 fics aren't even set in stone, I might abandon them again like I did with one of these 3 (the dark academia au) 5 months ago (that I recently picked back up on the research front)

Yeah I forgot my Sladick fic is a 2-parter that I should probably work on and finish at some point 😬

Coming soon/not yet started: I think it's somewhere between 8 and 11

I just added 2 more to the list after Romin Week prompts dropped /sigh. But I really wanna test my comfort zone again and try writing the wilder stories for a change (it'll be fun though if I get around to it! Hopefully something BOP movieverse shaped if I'm lucky)

Prompts:

Sure, send them my way! I accept prompts, just can't guarantee I'll be able to respond speedily though cause I can't chain my muse to me and also real life happens, a lot

Upcoming work you’re most excited about:

Ooof idk if excited is the right word, try trepidation...I'm scared to mischaracterise our faves...but a BOP movieverse fic is probably going to be real fun! Just hope I can finish the research and writing in time for the event though

No-pressure tags:

See this is the real point of me asking to be tagged and filling this tag, cause I wanna pass it on to my writing mutuals in other fandoms. So @trans-l-lawliet @fantomn @mellonearyou @3dnygma , if you're listening,,,,

Also any other writerly friends or followers reading this and curious to try, please go ahead! Have fun with this!

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

Dead on your feet

by Mind_Boi

The next they were being tossed out of their own country and running for their lives.

This was that moment. The paralyzing fear as he wanted to laugh off what Schlatt had said, but punz was already looking at them with a wicked eye and an even better aim. So he'd turned, grabbed Wilbur, and ran, or more rather Wilbur tugged on him and they ran, Wilbur setting the pace with a larger stride. He ducked beneath a stray arrow as he managed to get through the crowd of people.

(Or I forgot I had this lmao, Whumptober Day 4)

Words: 1143, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 4 of Enders 2022 Whumptober

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Major Character Death

Categories: Gen

Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Luke | Punz, Kristin Rosales Watson

Relationships: Tommyinnit & Wilbur Soot

Additional Tags: Tags Contain Spoilers, Whumptober 2022, Whump, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Pre-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Exile, Murder, Three Canon Lives System on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Blood and Injury, Post-Death Hallucinations

[stevieang]

May I Have This Dance? Chapter 5/?

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston RPF x Plus-Size Reader Insert

Word Count: 3600

Warnings: If too much sweet fluffiness isn’t your thing, then keep on going. This is full-on no-holds-barred fluff, though this chapter throws in some EXPLICIT CONTENT - smut, language, situations, etc. DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 years old.

Tags:   @3dsaunt​  @andiyholly​  @averyrogers83​  @babybluesunsets​ @bettercallsabs​ @brittyevans​  @brookebarnes​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @cecygee​​   @csrfavs​​   @docharleythegeekqueen​​  @dorito-distractions​​  @everythingisoverrated​​  @fabicchi​​  @favhearts​​  @flawless-disaster​​  @gifsbysimplysonia​​ @hazeleyedgirl7​​   @hennessy0274-blog​​ @inumorph​​ @jaguars2007​​  @jaamesbbarnes​​ @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​​  @janeyboo​​ @joshburtonhellzyess​  @jouhainak​​ @learisa​​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​ @lilylovescomics​​   @lojo83​​   @lookwhatyoumademequeue​​  @lostinspace33​​  @madicardi​​  @magellan-88​​   @mamapeterson​​   @me-a-hopeless-romantic​​  @meyoko10​​  @mindingmyownbusiness​​ @mizzzpink​​ @neverleturheartshow2​​  @nomadicpixel​​  @part-time-patronus​​ @patzammit​​ @pinkieandthebrain1​​ @redqueen1221​​ @sebbytrash​​  @sgtjbuccky​​  @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​​  @stark-spangled-banner-man​​  @st-eve-barnes​​ @stillherebiandabitch​​ @sunriserose1023​​ @suz-123​​ @the-real-kellymonster​​    @tutis24​​ @winterismyfavoriteseason1945​​  @winters-beauty​​ @yaykitty3​​

Summary: Two of your best friends are getting married and you have the honor of singing at their wedding.  At the reception you’re approached by a famous friend of the groom, Tom Hiddleston.  Much polite flirting ensues. Here’s the “more to come.” Enjoy!

A/N: Hey y’all!  Thank you so much for your time, your kind words, and all the good stuff you send my way! I am loving this fic now, and though this chapter took me a long time to start, it flowed once I did.  This chapter had a rough start, but then once I just wrote, no filtering, it came to me.  Of course, that meant a hella lot of editing, but that’s sorta my jam. :)

Now that was different.  A woman he was attracted to and wanted to spend more time with would not accept a gift from him.  He was pissed when she refused, worried when they didn’t talk, and understanding once they had. Guess he’d have to employ one of his weakest skills - patience.  Something - instinct, gut feeling, mojo - told him she was worth waiting for.                      _________________________________ That night, instead of talking, you got to work on a personal project you’d been putting off.  A pile of pictures had been in a box, under your bed, since you moved. When you put them in sequence and tucked the last one into the now-finished album, you felt complete.  As you looked over the pictures of you and John with and without dear friends and family, you felt peaceful. When you put the book away, grabbed your laptop and credit card and began to investigate flights and hotel prices, there was nothing but giddy excitement.  

Giddy morphed into deeply-rooted nervousness as you proceeded through customs at Heathrow.  Within a few days you were able to secure a flight and a place to stay in London that didn’t break the bank and keep all the plans secret - you took that as a sign you were doing the right thing.  You were disappointed that opening night tickets for Tom’s new play, “Betrayal,” were sold out, but you were able to secure good seats to the Saturday evening performance, which gave you a bit of time to get dolled up and obsess about everything.  You were almost certain that Tom would be ecstatic, but a tiny voice poked through your surety and planted insidious seedlings.

The dressing room was filled with flowers and well wishes.  Tom read each one and made sure his assistant knew to whom he should send thanks.  Reading your note was different - he couldn’t pass it on. It filled him with an urge to see you, to nuzzle your neck, holding your luscious body to his.  Goddamnit, this was harder than he thought it’d be. A quick “Thank you, love” text later, and the 5-minute-til-curtain announcement pulled him into the world of the show.

_________________________________

You read the text thanking you for the flowers, and felt ridiculously proud.  You obviously hadn’t given anything away, even remembering to tell him you couldn’t speak on the phone for the day you’d be traveling, as you had “plans.” You were impressed that your description of said plans was sufficiently believable so as not to prompt further inquiries. The day of the premiere you refused to let him think you forgot him, all the while itching to spring your surprise early.

_______________________________

He was supercharged, high off the success of the first night.  There were the usual opening night slip ups, but nothing too major. The chemistry between the three actors was palpable and worked in his favor, as the anchor.  He wasn’t the sexy lothario in this one, he was the wronged husband. He wasn’t the betrayer, but the one who was betrayed, and it felt fucking phenomenal. But….he missed you.  Missed talking and catching up at night. Missed hearing that little gasp when you answered. Missed the way your voice washed over him, soothed him. He was beyond grateful to his friends and family for showing up, and between the show and the after party it was an extremely satisfying and happy night.  Now, at home, alone, when you’d usually be talking, he felt your absence. When his text alert sounded after a brief repose from the lovely congratulations and messages of support, he wasn’t expecting what he read.

You: Congratulations!!! I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and wishing I was there.

Tom: Thank you darling, that means a lot.

You: Do you want to tell me how it went? I understand if you’re exhausted and can’t, but I am very eager to hear how brilliant you were.

Tom was always surprised how good it felt to receive your compliments.  They were sincere and sweet and sometimes exaggerated, but he never doubted you meant them.

Tom: I am a bit tired, but I’ll say that I was quite pleased.  Zawe and Charlie were brilliant and the audience reacted in all the right places.  I remembered my lines and no one fell off the stage, so a good first night.

You: I’m sure you were all amazing, I’m so happy things went as you’d hoped. I snuck outside to text you, so I’ve got to get back. Just wanted to let you know you were on my mind.

Tom: Thank you, love.  You are often on my mind.  I do wish you were here, but I understand why you can’t be.  Watch for the reviews online, ok?

Tom drifted off after saying goodnight, but you were wound up, thinking about the next day and hoping it would be as well received as his first-night performance.                                          _______________________________

When the nerves hit, they hit hard.  As your hair was coiffed, your makeup applied, and your leather jacket draped over your black-and-silver outfit, you liked what you saw. The opening-night reviews had been glowing, and your ticket was already worth more than what you paid for it. Honestly, seeing the production was a lucky byproduct of traveling to see Tom, but you had a hard time focusing on any of it as you cabbed it to the theatre and were shown to your seat.

A million scenarios ran through your head.  Would he see you from the stage? (You were close but not that close).  Would you text him and give him an obliquely-worded hint? (He didn’t look at his phone during the show).  Would you wait for him to exit the theatre at the stage door? (God, these hypotheticals were making you nauseous. Enough.). As the curtain rose to more-than-polite applause, you felt your smile growing as Tom made his entrance and immediately owned the stage.

He was magnificent.  He used his body, his voice - everything he had to transform into the character, to become a completely believable cuckold who was stripped of loyalty from and to the woman he once loved and the friend he once held dear.  Your nerves were gone as you forgot about Tom and just saw his character, Robert. You’d experienced live theatre before, but never like this. Your heart broke for the characters, you wished they could experience their lives in the moment - with raw, real emotion instead of being so….reserved, so….closed off.  

When the final line was spoken and the audience stood and roared its approval for the cast, you continued to think about Tom’s power, his talent, and how much you wanted to experience it first hand, in every way possible.  The show was an aphrodisiac, filling your mind with possibilities and fantasies and your body with jolts of electricity. As the ushers encouraged people to exit, you took out your phone without hesitation.

You: Tom, you were magnificent tonight.  You were raw and powerful and sexy and commanding.  Thank you for being as good at your job as you are, it was a wonderful evening.

You didn’t expect a response, at least not immediately, so you grabbed a drink and some dinner at a nearby pub, thought about the show, and returned to your hotel, lit up with excitement, enjoyment, and expectation.  The clock was taunting you, keeping you mindful of each minute after the time Tom usually texted. You took an almost-hot shower, washing the beautifying lacquer off your hair and face and body, which helped settle you, and flipped through the TV channels, unable to remember anything you saw.

Then.  Your alert tone.

Tom: ????? Did you see the reviews????

You: Yes, I read them last night as you suggested - congratulations to the entire cast and crew - you were all roundly lauded.  After tonight, I can see why.

Tom: Wait…..

You weren’t surprised when the ringer went off as you started typing.

“Are you saying you were at the show tonight? My show? In London?”  You had to smile at his increasingly specific criterion, ensuring that you and he referred to the same place and event.

“Yes.  Tonight.  Your show.  London. It was unbelievable, Tom.”  Waiting for him to speak felt interminable.  You heard him breathe at the other end of the line, and would’ve missed what he said next if you hadn’t focused intently and shut off every other nearby source of noise.

“Didn’t you want to see me afterwards?” You gasped your answer.

“Of course I did, but it’s not like security would have let me backstage, and this isn’t like a 1920’s opera house where I could send a handwritten note by courier, alerting you to my presence - you told me your phone is off until you leave the theatre.” You heard doors closing, clicks, and street noise.

“Where do I tell the driver to go?”

_________________________________________

She was here, in London.  She saw the show tonight and she loved it.  She said he was sexy and raw and powerful. For the second time tonight, his adrenaline raced.  As soon as he read her text, deliberate thought vanished with just her in its place.

_________________________________________

The nerves were back, but this time with a giddy edge.  You considered changing back into your super cute theatre outfit, but decided real was better, and real was you in your pajamas with wavy hair at your shoulders and no makeup.  Well, maybe a smear of clear lip gloss and deodorant, just to make sure.

_________________________________________

Tom: I’m here

You: Room 607

Your breath caught when he knocked, hard.  His head was down, his hands in pockets as you looked through the peephole and unlocked the deadbolt.

You stared.  He stared back, through you, his eyes predatory, his body tense.  

“May I come in?” you both chuckled at him having to ask.  You looked down as you reached for his hand and followed his movement as he kissed it.  You walked backwards until you were far enough inside to close the door and silently hugged him, feeling his chin find its way to your shoulder as your hand ran through his curls.  His arms encircled your lower back with a strength that made you feel so safe, helped you know you were in the right place. His whispers sent shivers down your spine.

“You’re here. I can’t believe you’re here.” He laid tiny pecks along the top of your shoulder and shifted so they could trail up your neck and behind your ears.  “I missed you so much, darling. I could scarcely admit it to myself, but you knew.”

Your hands laced behind his neck as you smiled into his kiss.  You expected passionate groping, but this was soft, sweet, tender.  

You walked him over to the couch, “I missed you, too.  All the steps to get here just sort of happened, so I went with it.”  He smiled, his long fingers lightly brushing along your forehead, randomly dropping delicate kisses along the way, the whisper giving way to a grumbling rasp.  “I’m glad you went with it.”

You turned around and leaned over the back of the couch, your arm outstretched.  You giggled when his arms remained around your middle; his lips intermittently kissing your neck.  When he spotted what you were holding, the famous Cheshire Cat Tom Hiddleston smize lit up his entire face before pulling you in for a kiss that left you breathless.

“Want an autograph?” Your red face may have darkened another shade as he gently took it the Playbill from your hand.

“Actually, this is for you.”  His forehead reactively scrunched up and his laugh softened as you pulled him to sit with you. His face held questions until he realized what was inside - a sort-of scrapbook of your journey to get to that moment - mini pictures of you holding your ticket on the way from the US, going all touristy in London, and smiling while kissing the cheek of the huge poster of him outside the theatre.  He closed it and, without looking away, found your hand, lacing his fingers between yours. You turned the program over so he could read your words and watched as he read, sighed, and closed his eyes.

After a moment, you bent forward and raised your eyes in a silent question.  When his opened, tears balanced on the lower lids. You quickly placed your hands on his cheek and kissed him.

“Thank you, darling.  This is something my ancestors will swoon over when they find it among my most prized treasures.”  You laughed - at his memory for your conversations, at his sentiment, at his sweetness. You leaned back and encouraged him to put his head on your lap, where you sat peaceably, your fingers running through his curls and his absentmindedly running over your thighs, while you talked and laughed, ate takeout and kissed.

“Darling, wake up, come to bed.”  You were disoriented when Tom gently shook you awake and offered you his hand.  The room was dark and you weren’t yet familiar enough to navigate to the bedroom without a light.  You yelped when your feet and legs were run through with pins and needles, but eventually they subsided and you sank into the king-size bed, Tom pulling the covers over you and kissing your forehead.  That woke you up.

“Tom, please stay.  Please, there’s plenty of room and I think we’re both sufficiently tired to guarantee no funny business.  I give you my word I won’t make any untoward advances.” Even in the dark you could see his grin, and were relieved when he slipped back from the bathroom with his shorts and t-shirt on, keeping at least an arms length between you.  After a whispered “good night,” he was asleep, while you were very much awake with decidedly untoward thoughts running through your head.

You must have fallen asleep, because the streaming sunlight and your bladder were prompting your eyes to open and your body to get out of bed.  Tom slept, his face peaceful, his arm reaching out towards you. Morning business done, you started the electric tea kettle and bundled up in a sweater on the couch, looking out onto London.  

“What a beautiful sight to wake up to.”  You smiled to yourself as Tom made himself a cup of Earl Grey and sat down next to you, placing a kiss on your cheek.  You pulled your feet under you and fell in next to him, reveling in the warmth from his arm holding you close and his kisses on the top of your head.  The silence was easy and companionable, but it masked your jitters and edginess and awkwardness. Welcome back to your usual trifecta of feelings when you were uncomfortable.

You gently extricated yourself and stood close to the window, looking down at the big bustling city and sighed.  You didn’t notice him cross to the same window until he put a hand on your shoulder and gently turned you to face him.  

“It’s a bit early in the day to be sighing, dearest.  You ok?”

You were ok, really, but your small smile didn’t convince him of that.  You tried to sell it in the face of his unbelieving look.

“Yes, just tired I think.  All the traveling, excitement to surprise you, seeing you, the play….I could go on.” You couldn’t say what you were thinking, couldn’t tell him - clingy didn’t look good on anyone, so you tried walking away but he held firm, pulling you in for a languid, dreamy kiss.  Your sigh was different, this time full of satisfaction and pleasure. His eyes found yours as you practically glowed.

“Can I try one more tactic to solve this mystery?”  You face belied your suspicion, but you nodded your consent, irregardless.

He took your face in his hands and kissed you more passionately than he ever had while he walked his hands under the waistband of your pajamas.  His long fingers spread across the expanse of your ass, squeezing, rubbing, and eliciting a long, low moan. Your back arched as your arms circled tighter around his shoulders, unwilling to let him loose.  When you broke apart for oxygen, he walked you backwards towards the bedroom.

You stood at the end of the bed, unable to get each others’ clothes off fast enough - your nightshirt flew across the room, his pants were kicked away, until you were in your undies and he only his boxers.  His eyes raked over you with laser precision, not missing a roll or dimple or bump. All you felt was fire - alive, hot, and burning, through every part of you. You reached out for him, wrapping his arms around your back to unclasp your bra and then standing pressed to each other, skin to skin, unable to stop what was going to happen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He had to ask twice before your brain registered words, and you were so damn hot from him kissing down your body, before you were both naked, you could barely formulate coherent speech.  You pulled him up and kissed him hard, pushing his boxers down while shimmying out of your boy shorts. In between urgent panting breaths, you gave the abbreviated version, before laying down on the bed and watching him prowl up your body, maximizing how much of his skin touched yours.  It didn’t matter, it wasn’t ever going to be enough.

You threw your head back, lifting your body off the bed, the sight of Tom staring through you increasing your arousal by the second.  He started to move off the bed, your protests making him smile while he pulled a condom out of his pants pocket. Before he could open it, you motioned him to travel back up your body.  When he stopped too early you scooted down so his engorged dick was directly over your mouth. You gently held the base, twisting and applying pressure as you moved up and down, feeling the rhythmic pulse of the vein running from root to tip as it bulged in your hand.

_______________________________________

Tom could not believe he was in her room, on her bed.  She was here with him, in London, because she wanted to be - no coercion, no false pretenses, just her quiet confidence in her feelings.  Whatever those feelings were, they were more than reciprocated. She captivated him, from her glee at the surprise, to the scrapbook, to the inscription - they made his heart practically jump out of his chest; he could not believe his luck.  When she opened the door, he wanted to hold her, wanted to kiss her and tell her sweet things she should hear every day of her life, and wanted to be with her in any way she wanted.

Though he wouldn’t have predicted falling asleep together, fully clothed, on the couch in a hotel room as the way his night would end, it was perfect.  They didn’t hold back, just did what felt right at the moment, and it worked. When he woke and heard her quietly singing in the living area, his heart lit up before he even opened his eyes, and when he saw her watching his city, having a cuppa, he was reminded of what attracted him in the first place.  She was peace. She was light. He hoped she was his.

Right now, though, she was under him giving him what may have been the best blow job he had ever experienced.  He kneeled above her face, clenching every muscle below the waist, but as she grabbed his ass and worked him with her mouth, it became increasingly difficult to stay still.  

“Darling, darling, stop.”  As painful as it was - literally - he sat back on his haunches, popping out of her mouth.  He looked at her swollen lips, lusty eyes, and tore open the condom and rolled it on, no fluffing needed. He felt “it” - the desire for everything about her, everything she was, flood his senses.  He could only do one thing, let her feel him, feel how much he felt for her.

_______________________________________

You scooted back to the head of the bed and couldn’t help but run your hands over your full tear-drop breasts, your torso covered in a landscape of lines you were once ashamed of but now knew were your prizes for living and surviving. Tom’s face was...different. He leaned forward over you, capturing your lips in a kiss so simple, so pure while encouraging you to get ready for him to be inside - the only place you wanted him to be.

As he broke the kiss you warned him how loud you could get.

“Guess I’ll have to think of ways to keep that pretty mouth busy, then.”  He nudged your legs wider apart, and proved what a good man he was.

“Do you want this, my love? Do you want me?” It was unfathomable to you that he might think you didn’t, but you gave your consent faster than you thought possible, kissing him in appreciation.

“Yes, please, I’m so ready, I need you so badly baby.”  With his forehead leaning against yours he used his tremendous strength to hold himself up on his forearms while he slid inside.  He was surprised when he didn’t need to slowly inch in, that you were able to take him in without pain, and ask for more, faster, harder almost immediately.

He started rocking back and forth, holding the headboard while following your every command.  You both knew there was no way you would hold back for long, and neither of you wanted to. Within half a dozen strokes, he was so close he could cry, and your entire body felt like lava, completely molten and unable to cool.  You wanted nothing more than to yell out you could not take another second without coming, and he knew. He leaned in, rasping out all the encouragement you needed to let go and cum furiously all over his cock, immediately pulling him with you over the edge.

If it was possible to feel like lead and air at the same time, you were there.Your body hadn’t been fucked that gloriously in a very long time, and it filled you with an afterglow that anyone would see, but also with the need for sleep.  To sleep, perchance to dream of this wonderful man breathing deeply beside you, watching you adoringly, and wanting nothing more than to stay right where he was for as long as you wanted him.  

Chapter 6