#i had to search a lot to find some that actually fit with certain characters here lol

[delicious-p4ncakes]

Stranger Things characters as kpop whispers I found online

El

Will

Max

Mike

Lucas

Dustin

Erica

Nancy

Jonathan

Steve

Eddie

Robin

[jacevelaryonswife]

Bad idea right?

Going out with your friends was great, really great, but it’s been a long time since you had fun with a guy. A considerable time that you thought was affecting lower parts of your body in relation to your roommate.

pairing: Michael Gavey x roommate fem!reader

warnings: p in v sex, fingering, loss of virginity, praising, english is not my first language. 3,455 words.

ewanverse characters masterlist

The idea of having a place only yours has always been something that cheered you up. Independence, silence and calm were very tempting qualities that always ended up being put in the background when the accounts were put on the table. In addition to the rent there was energy, internet, water, food and God knows if something breaks. You postponed the project for a long time while saving more money in the expectation of finding something more affordable, until the perfect option appeared on one of the announcement panels of the central building of the Campus. It was a beautiful coincidence actually, since you didn't used to go to such a place on a daily basis, but apparently the small white poster listed all the features you wanted in your small apartment for a price that fit in your pocket.

There was only one catch, a big catch.

The place already had an owner who was looking for a roommate.

In days past that would be enough for you to ignore the ad and follow your search, but the price and location seemed too tempting to ignore. You would give it a chance and call the number.

And then an even bigger but appeared: the voice on the other side of the line was masculine.

The idea of sharing an apartment with an unknown man was terrifying at all levels and almost made you hang up the phone. For some reason you arranged to visit the place the next day, obviously taking a friend and a knife in case the idiot wanted to play the smart.

And that's how you met Michael. Introverted, nerdy and brutally honest Michael Gavey. Obviously there was a lot of tension during the whole moment that led you to get to know the rooms and talk to him. About the place: it was quite comfortable and bigger than you expected, really organized and warm in the cold season of the beginning of winter. It was ridiculously pleasant. And as for Michael, well, you hadn't decided if he was a harmless nerd or a serial killer. Still, he seemed to interpret the female fear when he offered himself by saying:

"I understand that it's difficult for a woman to live with a lad she doesn't know."

But the point was: you had really liked the apartment, and when he started saying the rules of coexistence the distance between nerd and possible killer became bigger, much bigger. That was not a one-sided conversation, especially when you started questioning him in a not very subtle way about his life. What did he do? Where did he come from? Did he hide bodies in his room? (The latter was in your imagination, but you managed to spy on his room without being noticed).

Michael said that some people showed interest in the ad but that they did not fit the standard of roomies he wanted. Disorganized, drugged and very noisy, as soon as he classified them.

His methodical personality did his best to try to build a positive (or less negative) image you could have of the arrangement. And honestly, he seemed to be a quiet man, who appreciated a certain silence and calm that you wanted in your home most of the time. Obviously you checked the criminal record of the guy with caramel hair and beautiful blue eyes as soon as you left the building, relieving yourself by not finding anything. But hey, he was a student like you, it couldn't be so hard to find something about the guy!

By another incredible chance of fate a friend of a friend had some classes with Gavey and was very efficient in giving some information about the subject:

"Really smart, a little pretentious and clumsy, but he's a nice guy, doesn't have many friends and is definitely harmless."

Obviously it took much more than that to make you invest in the property, but what really mattered was that that weekend Michael Gavey had received a call and agreed with the idea.

So officially you were moving to the place you wanted, well located and cozy, but with a roommate who owns the place. And for the next few weeks after the move you slept with a knife under the pillow.

════════════════════

Living with Michael proved to be something very calm. Your classes took place at the same time, which culminated in sharing the rest of the day together. Initially things were strange, especially when you tried to talk to each other in the first days without any subject that caught the attention of the other, which defined the following days with dialogues only about the needs of coexistence. It was much easier that way and ensured that the dynamics between you happened in a more organic way than thought, since both were easy to deal with in your own ways. The apartment wasn’t complete yet, with few kitchen utensils and cleaning that you didn't mind buying. Michael was very hygienic and almost never left anything for you to clean (if it happened he would leave a note in the sink or bathroom indicating that he would take care of it later).

He wasn’t so good in the kitchen, but that wasn’t a problem when cooking was an almost relaxing activity for you, and it was very gratifying to receive compliments about your food. In addition, at the end of dinner he would make a point of washing the dishes to help.

Everything seemed to go very well over the weeks, the first month, the first month and a half until things started to change in the way you saw it.

Going out with your friends was great, really great, but it's been a while since you had fun with a man. A considerable time that you thought was affecting lower parts of your body. You see, Michael wasn’t bad looking, not with his caramel blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes and a formidable face; not with his terribly long fingers and delicious hands, not with his height much higher than your usually covered your body when he approached. No, the point was that you never had a relationship with someone like him. A little introverted, methodical, with a particular sense of humor and a little grumpy. On the other hand, he knew how to be pleasant and malleable when he wanted, he was almost shrewd and a little lonely.

Adding this to a nice body, a perfectly sculpted face and the looks he sent you when your clothes were tighter or more tidy, the sum was that you wanted to fuck that damn nerd in every room of your shared apartment.

Initially the feeling was repressed. Maybe it was just your fertile period and the sad reality of being for a long time without a male comfort — not the fact that he looks like a delicious prey easily edible. However, as the days went by the realization of being really invested in your roommate was more explicit and palpable, really palpable. Something needed to be done on the subject and some ideas were already around your mind about how to convince Michael to have sex madly in the next few days.

You looked good as an advantage, although you weren’t the most beautiful woman in the world, you were beautiful enough to take off a good looking partner. It couldn't be so difficult (or he could reject it). Therefore, acting with subtlety was your first option, although there was the uncertainty of him not realizing even if his mind was too sharp to do so. But in your state of urgency by instant action the games that would make him gradually succumb would be extremely stressful for you, so you would grab him at once.

But how would you proceed?

It was Friday night and your friends were dismissed for your onslaught to happen. Should you arrive as a hungry lun or a sneaky fox?

Fuck it, you'd jump on it with everything you had.

Wearing only a lacy white lingerie and an unbuttoned silk social t-shirt you left for the attack, opening the bedroom door and floating like a feather to the living room where your sweet roommate was distracted by the laptop. He didn't seem as focused as the times he studied, in fact he was almost relaxed in his gray sweatpants and thick pumpkin-colored sweater and a rare soft look on the screen. It was the ideal moment.

With a sensual feature and melodious voice you announced your presence with a simple "Hey," calling his attention.

And as you called it.

The poor lad could barely blink when he saw your half-naked and inviting figure approaching with a false innocent smile.

His reaction was a real treat. With his blue eyes wide from under his glasses and half-open mouth. He was terribly shocked, that was a fact, and it only encouraged you to go ahead. "I was thinking, if... you wouldn't have some time available for me." In a bold action, you gently pushed the laptop away and sat on his lap with one leg on each side of his waist, leaning your hands against the breastplate and leaning close to his flushed face to whisper on his perfect lips. "I'm thinking of something we can do together."

Blinking a few times for your dubious suggestion, Michael's hands landed uncertainly on the side of your thighs as he tried to formulate some audible answer in his now unstructured mind. “D-do you?” He asked tense, panting.

“Yes, but only if you want too,” you purred against his mouth, rubbing your noses and moving your dressed pussy against the newly hardened bulge, making him both moan low in anticipation.

Interesting fact about Michael: he's never had any girl rubbing against his body like that before. In fact, he never had a girl in any way.

It was something that didn't bother him full time, very worried about books, classes and science, but it would be a lie to say that he didn't think what it would be like to fuck a girl whose attraction to him was genuine. But that, well, that was better than any fantasy he's ever had throughout his life, that's why it was so costly to believe and answer your question with a blown and whispered "Yes", quickly amended by a more assertive confirmation: "I want to."

“Good," you smirk satisfied and collided your lips on his in a demanding and intense kiss, giving no chance to any doubt that he will feel. Your hands grabbed the back of his neck and his soft caramelized hair, avoiding any body separation.

Michael moaned when your fingers pulled some sensitive threads from the back of his neck, holding your waist and ass in a firm grip. That could only be a big wet dream. Yes, he really stole glances at you many times, more than he was proud of, but to think that this would happen? That way? Not even fucking.

He pressed his hardened cock against your pussy again and broke a kiss with a grunt when you started grinding on it. It was a delight to feel the impressive hardness below your body and see it all red and anxious, capturing another panting, long and tongue-filled kiss. Not even when you ripped off his sweater and discarded your social shirt, your lips separated. Although he was a skinny nerd, he had a really nice body. You wanted to fuck right there, but it was exciting to see him follow your trail like a hungry puppy. And he was fucking hungry, although equally nervous about being his first time.

Michael wasn’t stupid to think it would last long, he heard the stories, he knew how the male body worked to hump for the first time, he knew it would be disastrous, so when you leaned against him again his words were quick to reveal his secret.

“Wait… I need to say something,” his eyes faced the ground, posture hardening as he quickly lowered his head. At that moment you were sure of your implications on your roomie's sexual history, but wanted to respect his process in stating clearly. "I've never done thid."

With a gentle hand groping the left side of his face, you tried to calm him down: "it's ok, really. We can stop if you don't feel comfortable."

"No, no, I want that, really-," he was quick to contest, "I just didn't want to disappoint you."

“Hey, it's okay, I'm not going to make fun of you for that. Besides, I can teach you how to use these fingers to make women cum," you bit your lower lip, looking at it sensually. "Let me take care of you, babe."

And he became meek like a lamb, letting you take off his sweatpants before he himself hurriedly took off his shoes and socks and was only in his underwear, being guided to lie on the bed while your body climbed on his hips and groped his arms, breastplate and milky abs. "You have such a great body," you purred and leaned to kiss him, savoring his hands kneading and squeezing your arse, climbing up your back and daring to open the clasp of your bra, to which you were rewarded by your satisfied tinnitus. “Good boy,” and then your tits were exposed to his delight, being touched and exploited by two large, warm and inexperienced hands. God, he never thought that tis could be so amazing.

His thumbs rotated your halos experimentally, with a little more force than necessary but without being uncomfortable. Your hands covered Michael's and guided them to your waist, squeezing, landing them on your hips.

"Women like caresses and kisses to get in the mood. Kisses on the neck, jaw, clavicle, boobs..." you started, "I don't need these things at the moment, but next time this will be welcome."

Although excited about the idea of a next time suggested in advance, Michael didn’t want to spend his luck betting that your thought would be kept after sex, as a result, he sat in bed with you on his lap and attacked your neck with kisses, bites and hickeys. His work against the encounter between neck and shoulder made you purr with pleasure and close your eyes, really enjoying how he gently pulled some strands of hair from the back of your neck. The boy had potential.

“Keep going, babe”

The wet and anxious trail followed your lap, top and valley of the tits until capturing a nipple in the hot mouth, sucking and nibbling greedily. He couldn't believe that you were on his lap letting him suck your tits, that he was the reason for your moans and soft whining. Damn, he was already in the clouds and hadn't even actually laid you — or the opposite.

And although the feeling was terribly pleasant, the heat in your pussy was too aggressive to ignore, you needed a quick and urgent relief.

"Michael" you called him. "I need to get the condom," with that, you walked away against his will to pick up the package from your nightstand. "Now, take a deep breath when I start and try to distract yourself with something else to last longer, I'll go slowly but it's very intense and better than your hand, so hold tight," you warned him before pulling his boxer down to reveal his beautiful dick shining with pre-cum. Holy shit, Michael Gavey was fucking nice. “Damn, you’re fucking handsome. I should have seen this before."

And he was already out of breath before you stretched around him, his glasses crooked and a little blurry, half-open mouth and body hurting in anxiety, cock writhing with every touch received on his skin.

“Put it.”

And he put on the condom while you removed your panties and crawled into his lap again, making him lie down again. “Hold on, big guy.”

And then, picking up his cock and guiding him to your entrance, you sank slowly, giving him time to squeeze your hips with each centrimeter swallowed, caressing and smelling his soft hair when his head fell against your neck. Nothing had prepared him for that, no handful of lubricant came close to the tightness, heat and moisture of your pussy. If he was in the clouds before, now he was sure he was in the sky. “Wait! Wait! Don't move yet." And for that he needed to make sure it lasted.

"Okay... just breath babe, relax, think of something else." you instructed him panting, savoring the feeling of his cock inside your silky walls. Everything about his member was perfect, from the size to the thickness, filling you perfectly. A whining fell from your lips and you hugged him. “So good, mm.”

"Fuck," he grunted in despair, squeezing your body against his.

“Don't worry about it, it's okay, just enjoy it while it lasts,” you whispered against his temple.

That was the damn point. “I won't last long,” he said.

“So just enjoy, Mike,” biting his earlobe, you started jumping constantly, moaning uninhibitely at how good that nerd felt. He pushed his face even more on your neck and held your waist to the dear life, moaning and grunting and pulling you to lie above him. He was a panting mess with blurry glasses and a half-open mouth, a damn sight that made you more aroused than usual, very proud to be the reason for his snatched state.

“Oh fuck, fuck- I'm gonna-“

“Come for me, babe,” you rubbed your groin against his one, two, three times when he fell apart intensely with a long, hoarse moan, heavy breathing and a blushing face.

Withdrawing from him, your body fell on the bed still hot and longing to be satisfied, watching him gradually recompose in a brief comfortable silence.

"So... did you like it?" You asked, fingering his breastplate.

Did he like it? Damn, that shit blew his mind. “So fucking good.” Although part of his mind was eager to reward you, he had to. He had to make you cum. Turning to face you, Michael stood at your top before while asking: "what should I do now?"

Smirking maliciously, you leaned your feet on the bed and spread your legs more to him. “Fuck me with your fingers,” you purred, taking his right hand and guiding him to your wet center. "I like it when guys don't forget that I have a clit, I don't understand why, even why it makes your work easier," you circled your hill with his fingers, showing him the place before going down to your entrance. "Heat me up with one, then put on another."

And he followed your rules like a good boy, sticking a long finger pumping slowly.

"Mhm, just like that," you bit your lower lip, but very very very impatient to wait for the development of a slow orgasm, you needed to cum as soon as possible. Taking his hand, you held your index finger and made him join the middle one. “Go faster.”

And although sloppy and a little strong a few times, his fingers felt so fucking good on your velvet walls, reaching the sweet point that made your toes curl. “Fuck! Keep going Michael!”

He was hypnotized by the wet sounds that your pussy was making, by your body writhing and his fingers disappearing inside you, squeezing, wetting...

That set of things went straight to his cock.

"Roll your fingers slowly," you ordered, arching your back when he pressed against your spot, intensifying the tingling at the base of your stomach and making you moan louder. “Don't stop, I-I'm close!”

His glasses were on the tip of his nose, almost plummeting from his face, but it didn't matter at the moment. Deciding to use your previous tip on the clit, Michael used his other hand to circle your pearl with pressure, making his eyes close.

“Oh fuck! I'm gonna-" your whole body trembled when the coil burst and a warm pleasure flooded your senses, holding the bed for the darling life and closing your legs with the strong spasms.

That was better than any porn he watched. And with that he encompassed the last minutes from your approach until now. Michael was still very stunned by everything that happened, that’s why when he lay on your bed it was as if he was recovering from an electric discharge, his mind and body ridiculously overloaded and active. As for you, after a while restoring from a delicious orgasm, you rested your head on his chest and traced patterns on the milky to soft skin, playing with some fine and lost hair. "So, do you want a second round?"

═════════════════════

a/n: I know we don’t have much about Michael, but I was so anxious about this hot nerd that I couldn’t wait for the movie.

[xpao-bearx]

"Like A Virgin"

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Read Part 1 HERE

Read Part 2 HERE

Read Part 3 HERE

NOTES: I literally put my whole heart and pussy into the previous part and it's just so THRILLING to see all the immense love and support!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️

I'm reeeally hoping y'all will like this part, too! Steven has an extremely special place in my heart, but this time we're shifting focus and giving our lovably murderous Moon Boy JAKE his time to shine!! \(^o^)/

Now as we all know, Jake unfortunately hasn't had a lot of screen time yet. I also watched Moon Knight for the third time and besides his confirmed appearance in the post-credits, there are some other more subtle scenes that I'm PRETTY sure Jake was in and it was a lot of fun for me to think so and obsess over!

But I digress! Anywhore, as I was saying, since Jake hasn't been on a lot the way I write him is PURELY made up. Of course, I try my best to capture the vibes I personally get from him, but until Season 2 drops (because I am NOT giving up on that) we don't know for certain what his personality's actually like (and I haven't read the comics please don't shoot me). It was a little challenging, but I really enjoyed getting to explore Jake and his perspective quite a bit! Though he ended up being a bit sadder than I intended CUZ THIS BOI JUST NEEDS AND DESERVES A WHOLE LOTTA LOVIN'❣️

Furthermore, I am not a Spanish speaker. Jake obviously is and I wanna stay as true as possible to the character by having him speak some (*cough* S E X Y *cough*) Spanish throughout, but if I made any mistakes at all then please kindly correct me as I mainly just use Google Translate and/or search up Spanish terms! For example, I was made aware that "ese" means "that" in Spanish. However, it's also Spanish slang for "dude", "man", etc. and I just find it fitting for Jake to call the boys that 😅

Also, Jake is...rough 😳 Don't worry, he loves and cares about you a LOT, but this is a fair WARNING in case you're not into that! And this part got pretty long, IDK I probs blacked out somewhere in the middle and this is le horny result~

Additionally, do y'all think the relationship between reader x Steven/the boys is going too fast? I really try to make it as natural as possible, but hey this is only fiction after all and I think Steven, for one, falls in love FAST since in the show he was already simping for Layla the first time they met 😂 But I can't judge Steven cuz I'd be the same if I ever met Oscar Isaac I mean, I'm already simping now but YOU GET IT

And a lil funny coincidoink, Like A Virgin came on the radio which I guess was your guys' universal push for me to continue this ASAP!

I truly am sorry for the wait!! Life is hard but I simp harder xD

TAGS: @autismsupermusicalassassin @ungracefularchimedes @pimosworld @ababynova @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @anapnovo-blog @am-3-thyst @harrys-tittie @zukoisbabee @wiltedwonderland @the-ginger-draws @bitchyglitterfox @readingfan @spidey-3 @minigirl87 @wandasupremacy @simba-will-live-on @wavychelle @thepowerthismanhasoverme @blackholegladiator @kittytiddywinks @literalfkinsimp @valen-yamyam16 @shaunalouie @howellatme @aleat0ri0 @bean-is-reading @indigxjunipxr

Part 4: Gonna give you all my love, boy

Your chest rose and fell with each soft, blissful snore. Your face void of any burden, open and peaceful; plump lips parted slightly, looking so kissable. And that's exactly what Steven did, lonely lips descending to meet yours--his slumbering goddess.

An insatiable part of him longed for you to awaken, to spend more time fumbling around in the sheets until sunrise. But he knew, more than anyone else, that sleep was important. And he had no doubt that after all the...unique events that progressed your relationship, you deserved all the rest you can get.

Like the proper gentleman he was, he had cleaned you up before snuggling in bed together until dreams inevitably consumed you. And now here you were, using one of his arms that he can't feel anymore as your pillow and your bodies exchanging heat.

Then his mouth lowered, down your chin, to your throat, and to the delicate dip between your neck and shoulder. Planting butterfly kisses on your skin, lips tracing and eyes memorizing every perfect imperfection that dotted your body like constellations.

He noticed your breathing slowly growing uneven, your nipples salaciously peaking through your tank top. He knew he had to stop. He had to, but...

He lifted his free hand, inching towards your breasts before freezing, clenching into a tight fist that had his nails digging into his palm.

His cheeks bloomed red, pulling away and laying on his back as he stared up blankly at the ceiling. What the fuck was he doing?

"Jake, mate... I know you're there, might as well say something, yeah?" Steven whispered.

'Your senses are improving, ese.' Jake snickered. 'Is that why you stopped? No need to be shy, it's just the same as watching porn.'

Steven turned redder, clearing his throat. "Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"

Silence greeted him. Steven waited patiently, giving his alter all the time he needed. As rough around the edges as they may be, the boys all cared about each other and Steven knew that all Jake needed--deserved--was time. Hell, he and Marc didn't even know Jake existed for a while until he finally felt comfortable enough to reveal himself.

'Nah, ese.' Jake snorted, though his voice held a certain heaviness to it. 'She's all yours. You deserve her, Steven.'

"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."

'Don't think your little cariño would appreciate it so much that you're wanting to hand her off to some other asshole.' Jake scoffed.

"I'm not 'handing her off', you git. I wanna...share." Steven mumbled the latter, gulping thickly.

'Steven...' Jake sighed, but Steven sensed intrigue in his tone. 'I don't know what the fuck you expect from this talk, ese. We only share the same body, that's it.'

"You're lying and you know it. Two months working with Y/N, I never said anything, but I knew you were always there. This damn body isn't the only thing we share, 'cause I know your feelings are just the same as mine."

It was then that you mewled softly, shifting and wrapping an arm around Steven's waist and cuddling close to his side with a content little smile on your lips as you slept.

Steven melted and he felt Jake do so, too.

"I'm not giving you an out, mate." Steven chuckled, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. "I'm absolutely buggered and so are you."

♡•••🌙•••♡

Steven, that absolute fucking puta.

As soon as Jake opened his eyes, dread filled him. Slowly turning his head and seeing your back to him, he knew Steven gave up control at some point and forced Jake to come out from the shadows.

He's tried multiple times to drag that pendejo back out, but Steven has obviously put up a block between them. Jake sighed frustratedly, his gaze lingering on you once more.

His heart ached. And fuck it hurts.

He wasn't Steven.

He did not deserve you.

He was dirty--rotten. He was only good for causing pain; even the ways in which he protected the boys were brutal, inhumane.

And he loved the chaos. Thrived in it.

When Steven met you for the first time, two months ago, that was what Jake intended to cause as well. Pain. Heartbreak.

Nothing more than another pretty notch to add to his belt.

But you...surprised him. You actually cared about Steven, gave him basic human respect and the time of day when no one else did and just fucking listened. Accepted him with open arms and such a kind, blinding smile. And pretty soon, Jake yearned for that, too. From you. Just you.

You didn't even know he existed--you didn't fucking care about him--and yet you smashed his glass heart into a thousand pieces, leaving him to find the sharpest shard and continuously stab himself as punishment.

That's what he deserved. Not you.

But oh... You looked so cold. Why were you so far away? What the hell were you thinking, pulling away from him?

Like a lion stalking its prey, Jake crawled towards you until he was on top of you. His dark eyes trailed down your sleeping form, so beautiful, so vulnerable. He didn't realize his hand was shaking slightly as it reached up to caress your face, breath hitching as his thumb glided across your bottom lip before slowly slipping it inside your mouth.

He watched, completely entranced, as your saliva coated his thumb and the way in which you squirmed so that you were now laying on your back, facing him. You were still asleep, though your brows creased together and your breathing grew shallow.

What were you dreaming about, Jake wondered? Were you dreaming about last night? Steven didn't feel him then, but Jake was there and it was the best torture he's ever endured.

He can make you feel good--better. And if there was any room in your heart (and legs) for him, he'd more than happily prove it to you.

But you were so kind, so sweet... Surely you'd accept him, too, right?

Surely you'd relieve him of his huge fucking hard-on, right?

He found himself lowering, lowering, lowering--then stopped just as his lips were about to meet yours.

No...

You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve him.

As if he was just burnt, he sprang away from you and sat at the foot of the bed, keeping as much distance as possible. His head hung low, hands scrubbing his face in frustration before turning into self-loathing slaps.

He quickly got a hold of himself, lest you have a cruel awakening to him. Not Steven.

He looked over his shoulder. You really did look cold. He unchained the ankle restraint then stood up, walking over to your side and tucking the blanket over your unfairly scantily clad body.

God... How he wished he was the one keeping you warm.

He then shook his head, glancing towards the wall clock. 5:40 a.m.

He can sneak out and do some business for Khonshu. And by the time he returns, hopefully Steven does, too.

He has to.

♡•••🌙•••♡

You rolled over in bed, expecting to cuddle up next to something much more solid than a pillow. Your brows furrowed, a hand flying out to pat the bed and not finding what--who--it was seeking.

Your eyes snapped open and you bolted upright. You looked around in a frenzy, eyes still bleary with sleep and finding the apartment completely empty.

You then noticed the time on the wall clock. 7:20 a.m.

You were off work today, but you weren't sure if Steven had a shift. But even if he did, it was still too early for the museum to open.

So...

Where the hell was Steven?

He couldn't have ditched you...could he? No, that wasn't possible, this was his flat.

But wait... What if this was his subtle way of telling you to get lost? That he didn't want to see you still here when he comes back from wherever the fuck he went to?

You overstayed your welcome, didn't you? This was what it was about, isn't it? This was all your fault, right?

You were on the verge of hyperventilating when, at the corner of your eye, you spotted a bright yellow sticky note on top of the books on the bedside table. You quickly ripped it off, reading the messy, rushed handwriting.

Don't know when I'll be back. Just relax. Food for you is in the kitchen, amor.

You blinked away tears you didn't realize were forming once, twice, then bursted into laughter.

"Fuck, seriously, what is wrong with me?" You berated yourself, still laughing.

This was Steven. Of course he would never abandon you, and you would never abandon him.

He proved it to you, after all. The memories of last night terrorizing your brain once more, making you blush like a virgin (which you were--for now).

You wanted to prove yourself to him, too. And you're sure you'll think of something, but at the moment you became distracted as your eyes landed on Steven's black sweatshirt sprawled carelessly across the floor.

You put on your glasses then hopped off of the bed and picked up the sweatshirt, tugging it on and letting out a giggle as it drooped over your thighs, turning the sleeves into little hand mittens and your body and heart just feeling so warm.

You ambled over to the kitchen, seeing a plate of slightly burnt toast and scrambled eggs clumsily covered in plastic wrap on the small dining table. You chuckled softly, taking the plastic off before sitting down and having breakfast.

As you chewed, once again your brain couldn't help but wander off.

It was only a little thing. Such a stupid thing, really. But still, it just would not stop nagging you.

Amor. It was French for 'love'.

But... Steven didn't spell it with a U. It was supposed to be amour.

Amor, no U, was the Spanish spelling. And Steven, who seemed fluent in French, should know that.

But people make mistakes, and who were you to judge such a minuscule, silly mistake?

Before you could entertain yourself by ruminating over such nonsense some more, your ears perked up when you heard the lock click and the door opening and shutting close. You kept quiet, watching as Steven slowly trudged in.

He was wearing a flat cap and a trench coat, and from your spot in the kitchen he hasn't noticed you yet. But he looked...different.

You couldn't quite explain it, but he seemed...tense. On edge. An air of agitation surrounding him, stiff in his movements yet carrying a sense of confidence at the same time.

Wild.

You then swallowed, standing up from your chair and silently making your way over to Steven with his back turned to you as he busied himself with stripping off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling him jolt. But before he could react, you spoke up.

"I missed you..." You murmured, embracing him more tightly as you pressed your cheek to his back. "Don't do that again, please. At least wake me up if you're leaving."

Steven didn't say anything, completely rigid and gloved hands balled into tight fists.

Then it clicked.

"You're not Steven...are you?"

His shoulders jerked, and you pulled your face away to look up at him. But you never removed your arms, keeping them in place around his waist.

Then his shoulders drooped, hearing him take a sharp intake of breath before ever so slowly turning his head over his shoulder.

"Caught red-handed." His lips curled up into a smirk, dark eyes gleaming down at you. "You're much more observant than I thought, princesa."

Your breath hitched, mouth agape and eyes blown wide as you gawked at him. You didn't know what to feel. Well, there was definitely excitement, but you weren't sure if it was appropriate for you to feel such a way.

Regardless, you were glad Steven was open and honest with you from the get-go. You knew, at some point, it was inevitable that you'd meet the two other men he's mentioned. So, you weren't too taken aback to be experiencing this right now.

"Judging from your accent and what you called me just now... You must be Jake?" You queried, cocking your head to the side as you stared up at him. Funny, he shared the exact same body as Steven, but he was still...different. The way he held himself, the little quirk to his lips, the look in his eyes--it was all very distinct.

"Don't see why you gotta keep asking me questions, princesa. Seems like ya got it all figured out." Jake scoffed, amusement in his tone.

"Well... You certainly made an...impression when you asked me out." You spoke slowly, carefully, as if not daring to spook some wild animal. You wanted Jake to feel safe, welcomed; because it felt like Jake hasn't at all expected to be here right now, but you wanted to let him know that you didn't mind him. You were happy to be meeting him.

But Jake took it the wrong way. He read your body language as aloof, like you were just trying to be polite. And why wouldn't you be? You were naturally kind, but he knew better.

He was absolutely not supposed to be here. He was never supposed to meet you, never planned to. After all, you preferred Steven.

...Didn't you?

His jaw ticked, his hands untangling your arms around his waist before he spun on his heel to fully face you. You gasped as he did, paling at the sight of blood on his shirt.

"What happened?!" You panicked, your hands immediately touching his body, eyes frantically searching for any injuries. "Did someone hurt you?! Oh my god, who did this to you?!"

"It's not my blood."

You froze, a chill coursing through your veins. Slowly, your head tilted up, meeting his gaze. It was much darker than before, flecks of savagery brewing within. And yet, you also saw...loneliness.

Longing.

"Are you scared, Y/N?"

You held your breath, his voice cracking as he uttered your name for the first time. It was a simple question that had a painfully simple answer.

"I am."

Jake shut his eyes, inhaling deeply and letting it out in a wavering breath.

He fucking knew it.

"Jake..." His eyes snapped open at your voice, so soft, so unexpectedly calm. "Will you...hurt me?"

"I would never." He whispered--promised--holding your gaze sincerely. "I couldn't."

"I'm scared of the...things you can do, Jake." You admitted, noticing his Adam's apple bob as he gulped. His gaze fell to the floor, but you reached up, gently cupping the side of his face. "But...I'm not scared of you."

Jake met your eyes once more, his hardened expression softening as he sighed, nuzzling into your comforting hand. For the first time in a long time, he felt...safe. He was not one of Khonshu's pawns, he was not Steven or Marc's ruthless protector, he was simply...

Jake Lockley.

"I'm sorry..." He murmured, trembling hand reaching out and caressing your cheek; tenderly, fondly, lovingly. "I...was never supposed to meet you. I was fine watching you quietly. But last night, Steven said he wanted us to meet. For me to be a...part of what you have with him."

A deafening silence rang in your ears. Jake watched you with those intense, soulful eyes, brows furrowed and jaw clenched as he waited with bated breath for your reaction. Any reaction.

"Jake..." You have no idea how you even managed to speak, your volatile heartbeat replacing the silence. "Take a shower first, we'll talk after."

♡•••🌙•••♡

Water dripped from Jake's hair, his hands pressed against the wall with his head tilted down as he watched the pristine white tiles of the shower's floor stain red.

This was an all too familiar situation for him. Washing off blood that didn't belong to him, his body getting cleaned though never his damned soul. But it never bothered him before...until now.

He knew there was a chance you'd be awake when he returned, but he figured that he can just pretend to be Steven at least until that idiot takes control of the body again. Jake's done it convincingly enough a few times before back when Steven and Marc were still unaware of his existence, acting as one of them whenever something triggered them and he suddenly had to front.

But when you hugged him, he just...froze. It felt as if he was struck by lightning because this was real--you were real. Your heart-wrenching kindness and beauty were all directed towards him, and he was no longer just a pathetic fly on the wall through Steven's eyes.

But how could he be so fucking dumb? He never should've shown himself, he should've stayed away from the apartment even if it took all day and just let Steven deal with the consequences. And yet...he came back.

Because, the absolute truth is, he wanted to meet you. At his very core, he was a selfish bastard who wanted to be with you, no matter the punishment inflicted on him--he inflicts on himself.

But was he really being selfish?

As drastically different as they were, Steven and Marc managed to control their own separate lives. Steven had his job that he despised, but also the comfort of regularly getting a paycheck that provided for his daily needs. Marc was Khonshu's (main) Avatar and as draining as it was, he could still unwind after a long day with a pack of beer and a Chicago Cubs game playing on TV.

And then, of course, there were Moon Knight and Mr. Knight that ultimately tied them together.

But what about Jake? Was he nothing more than a punching bag for Marc and Steven, only seizing command and handling whatever shitshow they got themselves into that they were too weak to finish?

Jake knew that was his job--his purpose. And honestly, it was okay. He cared about the boys, and keeping them safe meant the same for him as well.

...Until you came along. And for the first fucking time, he actually wanted something. Yearned for someone. Just for himself, and not because of anyone else's expectations or demands of him.

He didn't realize it until you came crashing into Steven's--and his--life like some fucking meteorite, but he was empty. And on the extremely rare occasions that Jake was entitled to the body all for himself, he grew tired of being tired from aimlessly hopping bar to bar. Nearly wiping all his fucking memories out with heavy drinks and the need--the desperation--to forget about the problems he deliberately ignores, hides, even for one single measly night through fucking some random stranger he didn't and won't ever care about.

But you weren't a stranger, that was perfectly clear. Days bled into weeks, and weeks into months; and here you were now, looking all cute--tempting--wearing Steven's sweatshirt, eating breakfast in his home, as his girlfriend.

Steven's girlfriend. Not Jake's girlfriend.

"Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"

Steven's words from last night echoed in Jake's head, taunting him. And the ridiculous proposition that followed afterwards, of the two of them sharing you.

"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."

And maybe, just maybe...Steven's right.

Maybe Jake did deserve you.

But did you deserve him?

"What's got you looking all emo?" Jake's head abruptly whipped around, seeing you with one hand holding the shower curtain open while the other clutched onto a towel covering your body.

Your naked body.

Jake's mouth went dry, completely paralyzed. All he could do was let his eyes scan you from head to toe, undressing you in his mind. He's already seen you last night and he thought he'd be fine just basking you in from Steven's point of view, but oh...he thought dead wrong.

Because now he really wanted to touch you. Feel you. Make you come undone, all because of him. All for him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" His question came out sharper than he intended it to, eyes narrowing as he watched your gaze drop, shifting on your feet uncertainly along with the tantalizing way you bit your lip.

You seemed to be engaging in a silent war with yourself before you shook your head, straightening up as you dared to meet his eyes and slowly dropped the towel to the floor.

"I told Steven this before, but I prefer to get things over with." You smiled a bit sheepishly, stepping into the shower; the warm drizzle of water helped to thaw the ice cold sensation anxiety gripped you with. "I'm a very impatient woman, Mr. Lockley."

"And you think jumping into the shower completely naked with a man you barely know is the answer to your impatience, señorita?" Jake arched a brow, an amused smirk playing on his lips.

"Well, it's not like I can get into the shower with clothes on, right? That's just fucking stupid." You scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes. "Besides... It's because I want to get to know you that I'm here."

"This is a dangerous game you're playing, princesa." Jake murmured, his smirk instantly vanishing; that furrowed brows, clenched jaw sternness once more overtaking his striking features as he regarded you. "I'm not your sweet, sensitive little boyfriend. I'm not Steven." He practically hissed out the name, though there was more sadness to it than venom.

"This isn't a game to me, Jake." You stated firmly, standing your ground as you held your chin high and levelled your gaze with his. "None of this is. I take Steven very seriously--I take our relationship very seriously." You paused, taking a deep, shaky breath. "And I know, maybe I'm moving too fast, and I totally understand your doubts about this--about me. But I'm not a fucking dumbass. I know you're not Steven and I like you, anyway."

Jake was rarely speechless, but even as his mouth parted to say something--anything--nothing came out. He felt something fall down his cheek, and he wasn't too sure if it was water or the strange liquid that suddenly made his vision all blurry.

But he didn't have much time to ponder on it when your hand gently pressed against his cheek, your eyes kind and full of adoration, the same adoration you always bless Steven with and something Jake believed was only a far-off miracle for him.

"Y/N..." He choked out, glossy dark eyes intently set on you. "I'm a monster."

"You're not a monster, Jake." You were quick to counter, taking a step closer, now being chest to chest with Jake. "You're a part of Steven, and anything--anyone--that's a part of him is beautiful. And you sure as hell deserve to live your own life, too. And, well, if you'll have me..." You blushed, looking down. "...I would really, really like to get to know you better, Jake Lockley."

Silence smothered you, wrapping its invisible claws around your neck, and you now fully understood what people meant when they say something takes forever. You thought it would be easier and much less frightening if the ground actually opened up and swallowed you whole, but Jake finally put you out of your misery, his hand turning off the shower and a low chuckle bubbling out of him.

"Well... Damn." He smirked, cocking his head down at you, though his smug demeanour couldn't mask the rosiness that dusted his cheeks. "You really do like me and Steven, huh, querida? Or maybe it's just your boobs up against me that's convincing me."

"Well, if it's helping you to believe me, then I'm not complaining." You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck, pushing your breasts against him. Both of your breaths stuttered at the close, intimate contact, and you whimpered as his hands landed on your hips, callused fingers squeezing your soft flesh.

"Dios mío..." He growled lowly, his hands slowly, reverently travelling up the curves of your body, leaving a burning wake, before dipping once more and giving your ass a hard smack.

"Ah..!" You gasped, lurching forward, your face bumping against his solid chest. You felt his chest vibrate as a deep laugh rumbled out of him, one hand fisting your hair and pulling your head back.

"I ain't lying when I said I'm not your sweet, sensitive boyfriend." There was mania in his eyes, baring shiny white teeth as he grinned widely at you; like a shark who's smelled blood--your blood--from a mile away, he's set his target and can't be satisfied by anything, anyone else. "Then again, if you could see Steven's thoughts like I can, 'sweet and sensitive' aren't completely accurate for him."

You gulped, but not from fear. You squeezed your thighs together, pupils dilating as you stared up at Jake. "I-I don't mind if you or Steven aren't sweet and sensitive. I wanna be treated nice, but there are plenty of ways 'nice' can be translated to..." You placed a hand on his abs, lips parting as you traced along his taut muscles, looking like some fucking Greek sculpture--a god--with the way his wet body shimmered a divine bronze. "Don't you think so...Papi?"

With no warning, you felt the air get knocked out of you as his lips collided with yours, attacking you; tongues intertwining with a clash of teeth, the moist smack of your lips harmonizing with the vulgar moans Jake drew out of you.

You felt Jake's neediness, the desperation underlying his roughness--as if this was not just the first, but the only time he'd get to kiss you and have you for himself.

As if you'd ever allow for this to be the only time.

Your hands fell to his shoulders, nails breaking his skin and marking him with crescent indents. He groaned as you did, kissing you with even more fervour, fiery passion never ceasing as you both chased after that hellish ecstasy; seizing, bruising, suffocating you.

More, more, more. Giving and taking, taking, taking.

You just could never have enough, clueless as to where you started and Jake ended, Jake's tongue practically down your throat now. You know you needed air, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, but your body refused.

If this was how you died, then you'd die an elated woman.

But Jake suddenly pulled away from you, making you whine loudly. Your hands pawed at his chest, tears springing to your eyes and your ears couldn't even register the pitiful pleas that tumbled out of your mouth for more, more, more.

"You're such a fucking slut, aren't you, mi amor?" Jake snickered, one hand wrapping around your neck, thumb stroking the column of your throat, squeezing just enough to feel as if your head was floating. "Steven always saw you as this pure, innocent angel. But you're not, aren't you? You wanna be corrupted, don't you? You wanna be my pretty little devil, slut?"

"I'll be anything for you, Papi." You replied breathlessly, tears staining your scarlet cheeks. "Just be my everything."

"I'll be whatever--do whatever--for you, mi vida." His voice was low, barely above a whisper, but you heard him loud and clear, his earnesty and sweetness cloying. His other hand caressed your face before he leaned down, his tongue licking away your salty tears, a reprieve from the rapturous flames that engulfed him. "Now... What do you want Papi to do?" He purred, smirking wolfishly down at you. "You want me to fuck you? Spread your little virgin pussy, fill you up with my cock? Wanna see how much you can take, cariño. Take all my cum, don't waste a single fucking drop."

As tempting as his filthy words were, as much as you wanted to, you remembered how Steven refused to have sex with you last night. Of his promise that he'll make love to you another time, when he was better prepared with condoms. And fuck, you wanted him--them--so badly. Steven and Jake. But you respected Steven and his decision, and you did also want for your lovemaking to be special.

"Can I taste your cock, Papi?" You asked, biting your lip as you met Jake's gaze shyly. You felt like a mouse and he was the lion, yet you held the power in whatever was going to happen. "I-I promise I'll take it all... Take all your cum, like a good girl."

Jake knew that you chose not to have sex with him out of respect for Steven, and that only made him love you more. He felt a pang in his heart and a smile tugged up the corners of his lips, eyes locking with yours, full of tenderness and affection.

Right then and there, he knew that you were "the one". For him and Steven.

"Get on your knees like a good fucking girl, then." He breathed, and you didn't hesitate as you instantly dropped to your knees, breasts jiggling slightly as you did. Your eyes widened as his cock stood proudly, mere inches away from your face.

"I...I'm sorry if I'm...bad." Your voice came out as a squeak, mentally slapping yourself before clearing your throat. "I-I've never done this before!"

"You better have not or else I'll hunt down and kill all the fuckers you've ever been with." He barked out a laugh, but his eyes were dark and serious.

Murder was not something Jake Lockley ever joked about, after all.

Strangely enough, you found his possessiveness...sexy. Which only meant that Jake was already corrupting you.

But was that really such a bad thing?

You shook your head, focusing on the cock--erm, task--at hand. Your hand wrapped around his shaft, hearing Jake breathe sharply through his nose as you did. You licked your lips as you watched the pre-cum drip out of the tip, so curious, so transfixed like a moth to a flame.

Your tongue then darted out, experimentally licking the milky fluid. Jake threw his head back with a guttural groan; you've barely even started, and it made you fucking giddy that he reacted like this.

"Jake..." You murmured, giggling softly. You peered up at him through your long lashes, flashing him a dazzling smile. "You're so beautiful, Jake."

"That ain't something you should call a man, mi vida." Jake scoffed, but the crimson tint on his cheeks have spread like wildfire to the tips of his ears and neck. "Especially not when you're the beautiful one."

"Going soft on me now, Jakey?" You teased lightheartedly, slowly beginning to stroke his length.

Jake's breath hitched, brows furrowing as he watched you intently, attentively. "You really are a little devil, Y/N." He chuckled deeply, and you knew that meant trouble. "You think I'm going soft? Looks like you really have a lot you need to know about me."

Like before, his hand fisted your hair, pulling your head back and making you look up at him. "Open up, slut." And you did, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. You flinched slightly as his cock hit your tongue, his other hand grabbing his member and moving it around on your tongue, painting it white.

"Now you're gonna be a good cocksucker, got it?" He grinned down devilishly at you, eyes twinkling with sheer, wicked glee. "You're gonna make Papi cum, like the good whore that you are."

You nodded hastily, eagerly. And you just couldn't fucking take it anymore, jostling forward and burying his cock in your wet, hot mouth.

"That's. Fucking. It." Jake hissed, his grip on your hair tightening ever so slightly. Slowly, you began to bob your head, your mouth accommodating his size. You briefly wondered how anyone could ever even compare this to a banana or a popsicle stick; it was much bigger and your jaw started to hurt, which Jake quickly noticed as you tensed.

"Hey, relax." He cooed, reaching down to tenderly wipe away the tears you didn't realize were flowing down your cheeks. "Easy, Y/N. Relax your mouth, loosen up your throat... Fuck, yeah, that's it. Keep going, hermosa."

With newfound confidence and assurance, you gradually increased your pace. You hollowed your cheeks, your tongue sliding along the underside of his cock with each rhythmic bop of your head. Up, down, up, down--Jake's sinful groans bouncing off the walls of the bathroom, never breaking eye contact as you burned all of him into memory.

Then your surprised gasp was muffled as his foot pressed against your clit, only offering you a cocky smirk in return.

He began to move his foot, his toes budging your clit and stroking along your pussy. You moaned around his cock, grinding against his foot for more friction. Then his other hand grabbed onto your hair, both of his hands now pushing and pulling your head up, down, up, down--drool spilling down the sides of your mouth, resisting the urge to gag as the tip of Jake's cock pounded your throat, your hands floundering to his thighs as you clung on for dear life.

"Fuck, look at you... Una putita tan bonita solo para mí." He laughed, the thrusts of his hips growing fiercer, more rabid as he mercilessly fucked your throat. "Wanna taste me, mi vida? Think you've earned it?"

All you could do was nod, nod, nod--looking up at him pleadingly as you continued to desperately grind yourself against his foot, your own orgasm fast approaching.

Jake's jeering laughter soon stuttered into a heavy, gasping moan; his eyes squeezing shut as his head fell back, hitting the wall. You felt his cock twitch, releasing his seed, shooting down your throat and his balls slamming against your chin.

Your own release coated Jake's foot, your entire body shuddering from the intensity of it all and coughing as Jake finally withdrew his cock out of your mouth. But you didn't have time to revel in the afterglow as Jake's hand wrapped around your neck once more, dragging you up and crashing his lips with yours. You swapped spit and cum, but neither of you cared; the two of you groping, squeezing, clinging onto each other any which way your needy hands could fumble.

You didn't keep track anymore of who pulled away first, laughter ringing in your ears as you both grinned at each other; spent, happy.

The dawn of something new, exciting, promising shining between the two of you.

Wordlessly, Jake turned on the shower again. Then he grabbed the soap, his hands gliding along your smooth skin, his lips attaching to the crook of your neck where he could see the faint pinpricks of his handprint slowly materializing.

"Did I hurt you, mi vida?" As rough of a lover as Jake was, none of his pleasure mattered if you didn't enjoy yourself.

"A little bit." You admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing the top of his head. "But it's okay. I...liked it." You blushed furiously.

"Fuck..." He grumbled, pulling away and looking very much like a kicked puppy, something that you thought only Steven was a pro at. "As cute as you are blushing like that, princesa, I'm so fucking sorry. I know I should know when to stop, when to be gentle...but those are not really what I'm good at." His eyes drifted down, and you can tell that he had a lot more to say. A lot more to regret. "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"I forgive you, Jake. Now please... Stop beating yourself up, okay?" You cupped his face, pecking his nose and meeting his gaze. "I'm not lying when I said I liked it, but don't blame yourself too much. I also should've done something, spoken up if it was too painful for me." Your fingers ran through his hair, smiling softly, lovingly at him. "All of this is new for me--for us. But it's okay, 'cause we can learn together, yeah? And if you'd like, we can come up with a safe word if things get too rough."

Jake hesitated, wondering if you were really telling the truth and not just trying to comfort him. But one look at your sweet, loving smile was more than enough for his worries and doubts to fade away, his own smile gracing his lips and his hands holding your own that were so gently, kindly cupping his face.

"I think that would be great. Any idea what the safe word should be?"

"I was thinking 'Khonshu'." Your answer made Jake snort before he bursted into laughter, you joining shortly after.

"Mi vida, if you say that bastardo's name while we're fucking, you really are gonna make me go soft." He chuckled, pinching your cheek and kissing your forehead.

"Fine, fine! Clearly coming up with a safe word is what I'm not good at. Let's figure it out together." You playfully rolled your eyes, giggling and kissing his cheek. "Anyway, I'll head out first. But don't take too long or else I'll jump in the shower with you again and for the sake of Steven's water expenses, you do not want that happening."

"On one condition, señorita. You have to wear my clothes when you get out, not Steven's." He hummed to which you laughed and nodded, but just as you were about to step out of the shower, Jake suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to his chest.

He leaned down to your ear, voice a low purr as he spoke; like it was a secret, a sacred oath between only the two of you.

"El amor de mi vida, mi salvavidas... Nunca te dejaré ir."

Your lips curled up into a smile, your heart swelling achingly within your chest. You turned around and leaned up on your tiptoes, your lips melting perfectly together with Jake's, becoming one.

"I love you, Jake Lockley." You whispered, sealing your oath. "Now... Don't keep me waiting. You know I'm an impatient woman."

Jake watched with a dumb, lovestruck grin as you pulled away giggling, finally stepping out of the shower and closing the bathroom door behind you. And as soon as you were gone, Jake piped up to the other occupant in the bathroom.

"Steven, ese... I know you're there, might as well say something, huh?"

'Bloody HELL, mate...' Steven's words stumbled out in a rushed, breathless breath. 'That was MENTAL.'

"You're welcome for the free show, ese." Jake chuckled, standing under the spray of the shower as he washed himself off.

Although Jake couldn't see Steven, he knew that the poor, flustered English man was having a damn heart attack at this very moment.

'That was...that was...' Steven was completely at a loss for words, making Jake smirk.

"The hottest fucking thing you've ever seen? Yeah, I know. Y/N's our sexy girlfriend, after all." Jake turned off the shower, hopping out and drying himself off with a towel. "You're right, by the way. We're both absolutely fucked."

'I'm just glad it all worked out, mate.' Steven replied, relief and happiness flooding his voice. 'You deserve her. WE deserve her. It's just...' He trailed off, sighing deeply. 'Now that I think about it, I'm worried about Marc.'

"Fuck Marc." Jake snapped, his eyes settling on the mirror, Steven's reflection staring back at him with an anxious crease between his brows and lips downturned. "We deserve to live our own lives, too, Steven. That cabrón's just gonna have to deal with it."

And deal with it, Marc will. But...

You'll have to deal with Marc, too.

[natinkart]

FULL FEM FORTRESS LINE UP

i finally FINALLY finished this lineup. those fuckers are in my head more that they should be. after writing my ideas for them i HAD TO DRAW THEM, i had such a clear image in my mind. the only one I've drawn before where engie, medic, sniper and scout, but those were just sketches.

if you wanna read what I wrote about them you can find the three posts here: defense | offense | support

full lineup, sketch lineup and design thoughts under the cut:

i always like the sketches more but i love the clear lineart, it makes the character more readable, so now it's time for some design thoughts:

engie - she was the first, she has seen everythin- no ok wrong franchise. i meant, she was the one i was more certain of. the outfit didn't change from the og but i made her have two small pigtails. i always viewed them as a cow girl hairstyle, and they're also practical. a stable hairstyle that keeps your hair out of your face.

heavy - the sleaves where kinda an instant idea i KNEW i had to incorporate. so i did a bit of reaserch on traditional russian clothes and their patterns. they seems to be very geometrical with not more than 5 colors, which two of them are white and black, usually at the seams or borders of the clothing. so i tried to do that. i really like how it came out.

demo - not much to say aside from me winging the hairstyle. i honestly didn't know which one to give to her, but i knew i didn't want a long hair style. maybe one day i'll draw her without the hat.

scout - she is the one with my favorite design. i LOVE how it came out. i fell it express her cockiness the best. i tried putting her in the og outift but eh, i prefer this one.

soldier - this is literally just normal soldier. i tried to but more "femminine" traits in her face. but still, just soldier with boobs.

pyro - it's normal pyro, with some stickers cause why not.

medic - she's my love. my beauty, the absolute perfection. i love her and every time i draw her she becomes more and more creepy. and i love her so much. at first i was unsure about the hairstyle, i tried to but her in a high bun but it didn't fit the face shape, so i just gave her a side swoosh. also you may have noticed she has the nurse hat, well, that's just because i think it's cute, and i mean, she is a field doctor and usually the women there where red crosses so, made sense to me.

sniper - ah, my beautiful, unkept woman. i had a hard time making her face look rugged without giving her 30 years more and doing that on women is actually pretty difficult. i had one time an art teacher saying to me "every line on a woman's face gives her 10 years more" and holy fuck if that's true. the second problem was the body type. a lot of people do her slim, and at first i drew her like so, but i found myself appreciating a bigger waist line, creating a sort of square siluette.

spy - finally the beautiful femme fatale. i will ALWAYS have problems with spy's suit color. i can't. it always feels so wrong aaaa. but that aside, i did a simple google search for 60s women's suit and i kinda went with it. it's a bit different from the og spy suit but it's also different from modern suits, so i had a bit of an hard time adjusting the jacket.

my asks are open if you wanna know more of them or if you wanna see them in some specific scenario!! and if you like tf2 i also did a team furtress lineup with explainations.

consider supporting me on my KOFI, i recently opened commissions!!

[canonizzyhours]

One thing I do find fascinating, is that everyone who watches ofmd for the first time has the opportunity to interpret the show however they see fit. And while everyone is different, and will connect with different characters for different reasons. There are certain aspects that, once you decide to delve deeper, have to be viewed in either good faith or bad.

When I first watched the show, I didn't really have many opinions of it, other than the normal kinda baseline interpretations. Of course I loved it, which is why I'm here now, but I'd not considered any of what was shown, further than the surface level.

I maybe had a unique experience, having been able to power through s1 and s2 without pause. But it got me thinking, could I have had the opportunity to join the canyon, had I been subjected to more of it once I entered the fandom space? After all, if it is merely an interpretation that is supported by the text of the show, then it is valid for me to look at both arguments and decide where I see myself fitting no?

The problem with that is, I simply couldn't make my brain comprehend why anyone would come away from the show seeing Izzy as the "special guy", "the main character", "the most interesting in the show" etc. I would have to have gone so far against the text to make myself believe and feel comfortable with those interpretations, that it wouldn't have felt like my thoughts anymore.

Once I started reading meta, I saw takes from both sides. And it just became very noticeable that some people are just good at arguing, using big words or complicating sentences to make you think like you're reading a good analysis whereas really, they're just media illiterate. And once you realise that, reading meta about the actual show becomes a lot more enjoyable.

I'm not exactly sure where I was going with this, I guess I'm just baffled how some people can come away from watching the show and end up in the canyon despite what they're shown in text, and having plenty of excellent meta analysis at their disposal. I didn't have to search hard for good takes, they were just there. In my opinion, it would be harder to avoid them.

#431.

[softest-epilogue]

doing an entire Eddie Diaz analysis because I keep seeing so much about the most recent episode/recent interviews about the episode, and what this means for his character, and it’s all annoying me. sooo here we go. spoilers for up to 911’s 7x07

with the cheating arc that’s on our doorstep, there’s so much I want to say. Ryan’s now mentioned it in the articles that came out post-episode how Eddie’s had this idealized version of his relationship with Shannon in his head & has been searching for that ever since she died. he fully calls it a delusion, which it is. everything he went though with Shannon was so intense. they were so young, it was mixed in with having Christopher & the trauma from Afghanistan, as well as him running away & then Shannon running away — it was a lot, a whirlwind. they got married on a technicality, because he felt like he should, like he had to with her getting pregnant. and because Eddie has historically put Christopher above everything else, wanting his mother to be in the picture, wanting to be that all-american nuclear family has been drilled into his head, so even despite her asking for a divorce right before dying, he still had this vision of what they should have been in his head. he’s been fully stunted since she died relationship wise. he’s trying to find what he thought he had with Shannon (& he feels he was supposed to have had). so we had Ana — who he both jumped into head first by introducing her to Chris as his girlfriend so soon, while simultaneously feeling so wrong about the idea of committing to her to the point of panic attacks. it felt wrong, he knew that, but he was trying to fit it into a certain box that just wasn’t happening. and then with Marisol, it’s honestly so not well thought out with the writers that it’s ridiculous at this point but we see him doing exactly the same thing — jumping into something (presumably) very quickly, having her move in when on screen we’ve barely seen or heard anything of her, haven’t seen Christopher with her, etc, while then also having the full freak out when she moves in & he finds out about the nun thing (cue catholic guilt/repression being actually said by Eddie despite it clearly being an overarching theme since the beginning with him). we know he’s stuck. he’s so stuck on this fantastical idea of him & Shannon in his head that it makes absolute sense that when he sees a doppelgänger of her, of course he’s going to do stupid shit. he doesn’t think relationships through deeply — yes, he overthinks so much to the point of panic, but he never actually does any introspection into it because he’s still so stuck on this idea of Shannon in his head since she died. I get people hate cheaters but like 1. it’s fiction and 2. it absolutely makes complete sense in this moment. he’s spiraling, has been spiraling for a long time. this is going to break apart in a very intense way for him (look at what Ryan said about how Eddie has always had someone to run to, but how he might not have that in season 8). however it happens — whether he accidentally calls her Shannon, or Buck sees them together and obviously calls Eddie out on his shit (both for lying to him & Chris, and also ya know, all of it) or some other big thing that happens that completely obliterates both what he has with Marisol & what he’s trying to do with Kim — it’s going to unravel. Ryan also said that season 8 is going to be almost like a “refresh button” for Eddie & an opportunity for him to finally let go of his past so that a new future can enter. we have to see this through. he has to unravel & spiral in a way that leads to real consequences for it to fully sink in for him. like I 100% think Chris is going to be involved in this, as well as Buck, but definitely Chris. he needs to disappoint Chris so much to the point where he’s smacked in the face with the reality of what he’s doing & has been trying to do for years in terms of relationships/finding a partner/finding a substitute mother for Chris. he needs to hit bottom before he can come back up stronger & better. people are focusing a lot on buddie in regards to everything with Kim & Marisol, and I do love them with my whole heart, but now isn’t the time. we need to see Eddie break down first. be by himself, realize he’s enough as a father, see what he really wants.

[halfdead-halfskeleton]

Notes:

Lilia x You. Reader knows how to sew clothing(while author does not)

Based off Suitors suit vignette. Technically it's a continuation of the story, so make sure to read the vignette before this fic

A lot of background characters, but I'm not tagging all of them

A bit non-linear storytelling?

The suit was made of magic, meaning it will disappear after a certain amount of time. The fact that such a beautiful sight is not going to stay here for long made your heart ache. And yet, you continued to smile and tried your best to memorize every tiny detail of the tuxedo. You had a plan, after all.

"Feast your eyes while you still can!" said Lilia. The tuxedo Malleus created for him was just marvelous! You and Sebek competed in who's going to complement Lilia more while his face was shining with a smile. Your face did too, it even hurt a bit to smile so much.

The next couple of months casually went by in your room, as you hunched over your secret project. If only your school life wasn't so busy and sometimes downright chaotic, you might have finished it sooner... And if the cruel thing that is perfectionism wouldn't criticize your every move.

After a few not-so-successful, to put it lightly, attempts, you finally finished recreation the suit Malleus made for Lilia back when ghosts that invaded the school for a marriage ceremony left.

Your first attempt failed because you were so obsessed with the idea of recreating the outfit you forgot to take Lilia's measurements. While the final product turned out to be quite nice, it wouldn't fit Lilia at all. Also you didn't have some accessories the original outfit had, which you noticed only at the end.

And so, you began anew, but now without the fabric you intended to use. The end result turned out too different from the tuxedo you remembered. The shade of green? Too vibrant. The pattern on the ribbon? Wrong. The pants? Actually quite nice, but that's the only part of the outfit you liked. And after your sewing machine unexpectedly broke you lost all the crumbs of motivation there were left...

Thankfully, you became a good friends with some students at NRC. While you were earning money for a new sewing machine, Vil and Kalim searched for the fabric and accessories that matched Lilia's suitor suit. Vil didn't get to witness the tuxedo, so you and Kalim had to explain how it looked like. You even showed him all the sketches you made and the first attempt suit as an example.

"Wow, your skill is really shinning here!" Kalim carefully examined the suit from all angles together with Vil. "It's really unfortunate your sewing machine broke... Are you sure you don't want me to get you a new one? It's going to be way faster than working in Mostro Lounge for a whole month."

"That's right, but I'm already asking you for help, you know. It won't be so fair if you do everything for me!" you answered and looked at Vil, who's also visibly impressed by your skills.

"The stitching is quite nice, you clearly took your time to make it the best suit it could be. I'm glad to see you actually listened to the advice I gave you during previous projects. Alright, I'll lend you a hand as well. Just remember that my schedule is tight, so it will take a while to find everything you need."

"Thank you both so, so much!" As you said that, Kalim came closer to give you a big hug. He was super excited to see how it will turn out!

After mountains and mountains of work, you left out a sign. Not out of exhaustion or frustration, but out of relief. You did it. You DID it! Finally, even when it seemed like the whole universe itself didn't want you to complete the suit, you did it!

"Good job." A sudden pat on your back woke you up from all the thoughts. It was Vil who just entered the room. After a minute or so, Kalim came here too.

"Sorry for making you wait!" He panted and leaned on the closest wall. "Oh, I got so scared when I couldn't find the Albert chain I had to call Jamil and a couple of other Scarabia students for help. We found it! It's the same one I gave Lilia that night."

"Wait, if that's the same one... Is it really okay for me to take it? You could get something similar, but..."

"But? I thought you wanted to make 1:1 recreation. Why are you backing up now?" Vil asked with a frown on the face. You pulled him closer and whispered:

"Because it costs 10 million thaumarks!" Such shocking information left Vil speechless for a minute.

"Well, I thought the original one would suit him better! So here it is." As Kalim said that, he placed the Albert chain with a bat on the outfit. You looked at your creation, the exact copy of the tuxedo Malleus has created with magic. Even though some tears appeared on your eyes, your face radiated joy. You finally did it.

It was an after-school evening when you decide to gift Lilia the suit you've been working so hard on. As you roamed around Diasomnia dorm, something poked your back. Strangely, when you looked back there was nothing and no-one. So you turned your head forward and immediately got spooked by upside-down Lilia!

"Ehehe." He smiled mischievously, yet still helped you to get back up. "It's rare to see non-Diasomnia students here at such time. Could it be that you're looking for someone?" Lilia's eyes were set on the box you carried, it was wrapped nicely, like a birthday present.

When your heartbeat calmed down, you remembered the words you prepared in your head. "Yes, there is... But I'm not sure if they'll actually like the present I made. Could you take a look?"

"Oh? A skilled dressmaker like you wishes to hear my opinion? I would be more than glad to assist you." Your heart skipped a beat. Did someone tell him about your secret project? Who could that- oh, probably Kalim, since they're in the same club. And even if Kalim didn't tell it exactly to him, but Cater instead, Lilia would still find out. But maybe Lilia doesn't actually know and said it just because?.. You're kind of known for your great sewing skills. Or... "Let's do it in my room, I was right on my way there." You brushed off the haunting thoughts away and headed to Lilia's room, trying to calm down.

His face beamed with happiness when you let him unwrap the present. Although at first he wondered if it was really okay. "It would be rather troublesome to wrap it back up when you're going to gift it to that person."

"Don't worry, I won't have to do it." A surprised gasp echoed in the room. Lilia carefully picked up the tuxedo, examining every detail. He couldn't believe his eyes. "So, what do you think?"

After a minute of silence, he smiled. "I still remember this tuxedo. I'm really proud of Malleus for coming up with such an elaborate design. And I'm really proud of you for recreating it up to every single detail." As Lilia said that, his eyes began to tear up a bit. "That night I wore a tuxedo for the first time in my life. It's hard to believe I can re-experience that moment again."

"Do you wish to wear it right now?" While you did take Lilia's and some other students'(to make it less suspicious) measurements long time ago, anxiety kept telling you you might have made a mistake at some point.

"I'm eager to wear it!" You smiled unknowingly when Lilia's gentle laugh reached your ears. In a couple of minutes you re-entered the room to see him happily dancing in the suit you made. The moment he saw you he reached for your hand. "Would you mind to dance with me for a moment? Such a delightful gift deserves a special thank-you!"

Blush painted your cheeks red, and heart began to beat faster with joy and excitement. You happily accepted Lilia's offer, taking his hand in yours. And so, you danced around the room. At one point Lilia began to hum a sweet melody. You joined him, and you both hummed in unison while dancing across the room.

You knew this moment, no matter how joyous and bright, would end eventually. So you made sure to enjoy every last bit of it, engraving it in your memory for eternity. And so did he.

[clownawnie]

Pathologic 2 thoughts now that i finished it

After a very long 52, nearly 53 hours, I finally finished Pathologic 2. These are my thoughts and feelings after finishing it and how it impacted me as a mixed indigenous person. I am Māori not Buryat so my perspective is just from growing up as a mixed person and not anything culturally specific.

Also! This will be all over the place, this is less of a structured analysis and more so just me jotting down my feelings and experiences with the game just to get them out there. I briefly go over the endings so spoilers for that i guess

Okay to start I really enjoyed Pathologic 2, it's truly a one of a kind experience. I played on an easier difficulty because I wanted to experience the story first (I do plan to replay the game at the intended difficulty at a later date) but it still felt challenging, I was definitely not having a walk in the park and it was for the best. I struggled a lot as someone going in mostly blind to Patho 2. I was very adamant about not using guides and while it added to my experience of the game it also caused me to fuck up and die a lot. (the first 16 hours or so were from my first attempt which failed miserably) 

I really enjoyed the gameplay, despite initially being overwhelmed by the size of the town I found it easier to navigate in the latter half of the game. I personally love games where you just collect stuff and searching through drawers and dressers for random coins and buttons was very fun for me. Walking around and just admiring the scenery was quite relaxing (when I wasn’t being chased by men with knives). The clunky combat wasn’t a deal breaker for me but the lack of aim reticle did make it hard to actually hit people consistently with the gun but eh that wasn’t really a problem. It did take an embarrassingly long time for me to figure out certain mechanics (like sneaking) I also love a lot of the characters, although I have a very clear favourite.

  Artemy very quickly became a character that was dear to me. I heavily related to him as a mixed Indigenous person who used to be close with their culture but now feels disconnected as an adult. Seeing him struggle with language, struggling to remember the right terms and the customs that used to come easily to him. Having a foot in two worlds but unsure of where you belong in either of them. He’s just like me fr. I immediately got invested in Artemy’s story and it made me try my hardest to play his part well. I love imagining myself acting as the player characters in games and it seemed fitting for Pathologic 2.

This personal investment in Artemy made certain parts of the games very difficult for me emotionally. There were many moments during the game when I had done something wrong and it struck me hard. Playing Pathologic 2 felt less like controlling a character and more like being the character, I wasn’t controlling Artemy I was Artemy. Every time I messed up it hurt. I was failing, doing a poor job filling in the role and because of it those closest to Artemy, to me, were getting sick.

I remember the first time one of the characters got infected, it was notkin. He was infected after going into the death house, I remember how my face dropped seeing Notkin all wrapped up and sickly. I was panicked when I realised Murky’s friend wasn’t just the girl's imagination but an embodiment of the plague and I felt absolutely lost on day 10 finding all of the kids infected with only 5 cures on me.

Overall I loved the story, I love things that can make me feel so much dread and pain and Pathologic 2 very much did that. However, I’m very conflicted on both endings. I played through both of them one after the other and I’m unsure how I feel about them.

I knew nothing about the endings when going into the game so I had no expectations but around day 9 or 10, after the talk with Isidor in the dream did I realise where the game was heading and it made me upset. For some background, I have struggled alot with where i stand in the world in terms of identity, being mixed can feel so isolating and i struggled alot with feeling like i couldn’t fit in with either side. I’ve been dealing with this over the years and feel more comfortable with both parts of my identity, not having to pick one or the other and existing as both. So i felt an awful feeling in my gut when i realised the story was pulling me, that i would have to make a decision town or kin. It felt cruel to make artemy pick between his two halves.

The endings themselves i’m torn on. I don’t particularly like either ending very much, maybe my feelings will change when i’ve had more than 24 hours to stew on my thoughts.

The diurnal ending left me feeling quite empty, I saved the town but killed the earth, assimilating the kin into the town and leaving no room for the past. The idea of the past and the future being incompatible pains me.

The framing of the nocturnal ending made me feel odd. It's the preservation of the past, of miracles. But it felt so… horrific… seeing people, children wandering out into the steppe. People artemy was closest to unable to even recognise him. It was framed much darker than the diurnal ending, it made siding with the kin feel like i had made a mistake. Im unsure if this was the intention of the ending but its how it felt. Maybe I’ll dissect the endings in greater detail at another date after hearing more perspectives from other players.

Overall, I am glad i played pathologic, despite my torn feelings on the endings I do deeply enjoy the game, the world and the characters and i can’t wait to play through it all again. I want to 100% the game, see everything it has to offer, achieve what feels like the impossible and save everyone.

[greenbirdtrash]

Decided to post some of my clothing analysis of the musical Once-ler. Most of my takes here are outdated (since i didn't had a chance to get acquainted with the script back then, but now i've got a better understanding of some things and the exact timeline, so lots of updated info and the contexts will be added when needed), but some of the listed speculations here are still pretty interesting to think about. It's actually kinda crazy how i came to that, building my own imaginary character profile and the timeline without the chance to watch the entire show, but just from analysing the available photos and the reviews. And the fun thing is..some of my speculations actually fit the story quite well. So..

Part one: Introduction.

[July, 23]

"Again, my conclusions may be wrong because of the fact that I only saw the fragments and photos from this musical, I cannot be completely sure that the slight difference in some of details and elements is present due to a certain story arc or the fact that the "test show" was performed in a different place and with slightly different props, but it's hard not to notice that during the course of events, the clothes of our beloved problematic capitalist change, maybe not as drastically as in the 2012 movie, for example, but this undoubtedly plays an important role in his development as a character (especially considering that we are looking at a stage adaptation with its own nuances, but more on that later) and reflects a certain kind of changes that he goes through in the process. Why is this so important? I'll try to explain.

Working with perception through colors and shapes is one of the most basic things in design that always works, and even being in some cases comically exaggerated, it remains effective because a person somehow always builds a certain association based on the things they saw. Like, we look at the warm green color, and it immediately reminds us of leaves, etc, etc.. Long story short, the aspect of different clothing, colors and patterns on a character who's going through different phases will be very important here. I saw someone else pointing the same thing out in one of the reviews, can't remember which one tho. Anyway, my huge thanks to Rob Howell for giving us all these amazing designs.

What I always loved in stage performances of all kinds and the theater as a whole concept, is the fact that you won't find there such thing as "narrow cinematic frame" in which you can just remove or cut out everything that simply "does not fit" into it, oh no.

In stage performances and musicals, the whole color extravaganza of the stage and the carefully carved environment will talk to you (yes, talk!), and actors are required to do much more than just show a certain face at a certain moment. Nope, it's completely different here, and most of the theatre actors are just built different as well. Spent some of my best years near them, that was an amazing experience. Anyway-

Being able to play simply with with your voice and face is not enough to be a good actor here, especially considering that even if you're lucky to have the most magnificent facial expressions......they are not particularly visible even from the middle rows. Even though most projects and plays are recorded with professional equipment from the close range (mostly for archive purposes), and for some plays you can even get the binoculars with no problem, it is impossible to rely solely on facial expressions.

And here's where costumes and choreography come into play.

So, the costumes...

From what I saw and read, I would say, we are introduced to this Onceler in a pretty interesting way.

At the time of his departure from home in search of a better fate, we are looking at a very ambitious young dreamer who just.. let's say, he doesn't fit into his original environment, neither by his character traits, nor by his ideas about inventions, nor visually. The visual clearly emphasizes this, and I got the impression that among all the green riot of chaotic colorful prints that prevail in his family's clothes, in his tailcoat he kinda looks like a "black sheep" among them, even despite the fact that he shares the same green aesthetic, but his design is not "too much" or hard to look at. In fact, we are still able to spot him even when he's surrounded by his family. According to this adaptation's background, their family is VERY poor, and all they own is an old mill(?) on which they all work tirelessly. Not a particularly wide space for revelry and elements symbolizing prosperity or luxury (yk, tailcoats are quite expensive), so to speak. Things were not going great for them, so perhaps such an expensive thing as a tailcoat in their conditions is some kind of a reference to the guitar of the 2012 version (for which, according to some information available on the web, the 2012 Onceler has been saving up for a long time). Perhaps (and most likely this guess will be more correct) our hero slept and saw himself in a completely different society - with a much higher and richer status [UPD: This guess was partially confirmed after i saw the script, so I will take this as canon. After all, in the stageplay, the young Onceler literally devotes an entire scene to the song about his dream of getting rich on his great idea], and perhaps he also believed that "clothes make the man" and planned searching for glory in the same outfit, I can't tell you for sure, but the fact is that visually he does not fit into his environment at all, he's "an oddball" with his head hovering somewhere in the clouds, and his clothes, among other things, help us draw a imaginary line which separates him from his surroundings and giving us a subconscious signal that he is just different. Not like them. We all faced rejection in one way or another, and we know what not being able to fit feels like, and it also kinda helps us to put ourselves in his shoes, feel his ambitions, and to start sympathizing with him as a character. [UPD: It works really well within the canons of this adaptation, I couldn't remain indifferent to it, and David Greig turned him into exactly that kind of beautifully written tragic deep character that I wanted to see, and at the end of his story, it broke my heart..in a good way, of course.]

Also, there's something really silly about how he looks at the start, he spots the funky striped fingerless gloves (Not the canon long ones, but still..That's a nice touch, every Onceler needs his gloves, and also it looks like he also has a watch on his left arm? Interesting..), some kind of a vintage green fedora, very fluffy green hair, green shirt and green pants with a slightly different "cold" color, brown suspenders and even a bright green neckerchief for some reason, so his green aesthetic is pretty much complete. Idk, his whole look during this phase kinda gives me the countryside vibes, maybe it was actualy intended? Especially considering what his family does for life?[UPD: It kinda was.]

Actually, he leaves the house just because his room and his bed is suddenly rented out for some pennies [UPD: Everything turned out to be much worse and funnier at the same time, he was literally kicked out by his family (You can literally feel their low expectations for him) just for them to take in a random person with "more reasonable ideas", but despite this, all his interactions with the "Bed-stealer" during the first act made me smile and giggle a lot, Small Ed is a great character addition and a pure comedic relief], and this probably becomes his last reason in favor of collecting all of his not very vast possessions and go seek his fate in the hopes that somewhere in this world there will be a better place for him.."

[writinandcrying]

Hellou!Im the persone who asked about requests a while back(Mainly because I didnt wanna overwhelm you if theyre closed) and Im really glad they are.Anyway,could I request Donnie(TMNT),Tamaki(BNHA) and/or FatGum(BNHA)(Also,I hope I havent gone over the character limit) with a slightly chubby s/o?(Insecure or not,you chose!).You dont have to do this if you dont want to tho!Have a nice week❤

Hellou! Thank you so much for being so thoughtful, I’ll have to apologize tho, I no longer write for bnha, I had a huge burnout fand I do not feel comfortable writing about it anymore, I hope a veeeery detailed Donnie reaction to a chubby reader will make up for the absence of those characters! ♥️

Tmnt - Donnie x Chubby reader (Gender Neutral!)

I’ll have to start that all of the boys wouldn’t judge or reject you based on your appearance, being either chubby, slim, tall, short, there are a few attributes that I think each turtle would find it e seeing or interesting, but it’s more… humanly related(?) maybe one day I’ll make a post about it if you guys wanna hear my opinion on it hehe :)

Donnie(generalized) x Chubby Reader:

just like there are certain stuff about the turtles that they like and dislike about themselves, there are stuff about humans who think the same about themselves! and even though Donnie knows there are beauty standards that control many areas in humans society, he still doesn’t understand why people outcast those who are different

I think some of us (readers / shippers) get a bit :C when thinking about Donnie bc in almost every version, he had a crush on April (who is a babe in every. Version. Specially rise, I love rise-April so much, and that’s the only apriltello I’ll let it slide lmao) and that can give a “perception” that he wouldn’t even glance at some of us ( “us” = being a huge group, trans, guys, chubby girls, chubby guys, skinny girls and guys, everyone who doesn’t fit the normie mold I guess- I unfortunately think about that often. Which sucks cuz I gotta remind myself that isn’t true!!! At all!!)

I personally Headcanon Donnie being… I don’t know if interested would be the correct word, but more intrigued with how humans relate to each other, on their first missions, he knew they could… scare some of them off, “frightened by their own prejudice” as master splinter would say, but it’s far more different to hear about it than to actually live it, and it hurts to hear someone scream their heart out just by seeing you

While growing up, he started to notice not only in television, on and off midia, how people would mess around with others on the street just because of their appearance, he knew society worked though this beauty standards, but he didn’t understand it. It didn’t made sense! value someone based on what they look like? There are so many things, so many attributes to make someone interesting, and you gonna pick the most…. Boring? Plain? Vague? Shallow reason to create privilege over others? Really? (And thst enters on the topic of how almost all beauty standards are rooted in white privileged and racism but I’ll go on a tangent about it once I start it and I’ve already said a lot lols)

He could literally go on for hours about this topic (which he has. At least tried with each one of his brothers, but they never really responded well to so said topic “if humans have it bad, then what do we have left?” Raphael barked back once, an attempt to shut him up, which it worked, btw- he didn’t like to go through that direction when thinking about that topic, but yeah, what does he have left?)

He started searching about different aesthetics, ethnicities, he has folders on Pinterest dedicated different body types, cultures, he swears it’s for research reasons, which kinda is, but Donnie’s guilty pleasure is checking “different” people online, those who would deem strange and weird outside the internet, he liked seeing their content and specially their comment sections being filled with wonderful compliments, people relating to different styles and tastes, that gave him hope that there are someone out there with different views of how everyone should be “shaped”, and that maybe he will find someone who thinks he’s handsome and desirable (Donnie, just like Raph, is also insecure about his body, but he’s more… melancholic about it, if you confessed to Raphael, there would be a high change of him pushing you away, trying not to break his heart from actually believing you, while DonDon here, if you both started dating- on some days Donnie would need more reassurance that yes, his partner does think he’s handsome/hot/attractive. Otherwise he might internalize his insecurities and it will be HARD to get a confession “why he’s so upset out of the sudden” from this turtle)

With that being said!!!! (My god I do know how to ramble) without even realizing, Donnie open his “preferences”? Let’s say, Became more open minded than most, While seeking comfort for himself, and when he says he doesn’t have a type, he really doesn’t. There are so many aesthetics that could be attractive! punks, goths, cottagecore, y2k, dark academia, light academia, grunge, fairycore, alt, the list is endless! And don’t get him started on physical attributes cuz there are so many different combinations that some how, people manage to connect the most random ones and make it look great

Donnie wouldnt fall for someone specially bc of their appearance, or that would be the first reason he would fall head over heels, when you think about it, what happened to April it was that she was extremely passionate and dedicated to *insert which cause she was fighting for* and took Donnie seriously, that light up a lightbulb in his head that has never been on before, people showing how ardently they can be into something, how much they care and such, that’s attractive to him, and after that, everything that person does, or is, suddenly becomes beautiful and amazing for Donnie

Withthatbeingsaidpart2- if Donnie did fall for someone more on the chubbier side, their “plumpy-ness” would def be something to call his attention out after he developed feelings, he longed for your hugs, specially after he found out how soft and warm they were, he actually started having more naps after you caught his heart, imaging how it would be to cuddle someone as soft as you while hugging his pillow late at night on his bed (which eventually he would doze off from day dreaming so much)

Talking about day dreaming, Donnie can totally lose himself in his mind, just like with his projects, he can imerse himself in a fantasy about you two easily, which makes him totally freeze when you show up and he actually have to say or do something he has been constantly dreaming about

So please confess first, cuz when I say he can lose himself in his daydreams, that can last for months until he actually gathers courage to do something about it

While in a relationship, Donnie is totally a hopeless romantic, but not the typical “roses and candlelight’s dinner” kind, as your boyfriend, he wants to help you out no matter what, he will make aaaaas many inventions as he can that might increase the quality of your life, becomes easier to do… whatever, literally. And he always longs for your adorable reactions to his gifts

He adores your chubby cheeks, he will! Get lost! in your face! Your eyes! Eveything! He will oh so slowly caress his knuckles softly across it, sliding to your neck, traveling through your arms, he likes to squish your face a bit as well while cupping it when he goes for a kiss, he just thinks everything about you is adorable (and hot at the same time)

He really like the contraste his skin has with yours, it’s so foreign for him and he can’t help but to love how smooth your skin can be, (which leads his mind to ahem. Certain kind of thoughts. If you know what I mean)

Just like he needs reassurance about his appearance, he knows you probably had to deal with more than one unpleasant comment about your physique, so you don’t even have to ask, Donnie is so whipped with you, compliments about you just drip of his tongue, and it’s always so sweet, followed by a pair of soft eyes, always admiring you, plus, Donnie is a science / fact man, he would gather information about other cultures that value more curvy, chubby, bigger people, he would go as far as making a slide presentation how wonderful and more inclusive people are being (even if it doesn’t seams like it, and there’s still a long way to go) he would include real opinions online other than his on the matter that your body is indeed, a snack, (aaaaaand he is once again right, aaaaand just like everyone else you just have to live with it and accept it 😌 end of story)

He would definitely “put up to test” his theory of how amazing it is to cuddle someone who’s more on the chubbier side (and his theory is ✅ correct)

Cuddling becomes a weekly thing for you guys, that being you sitting on his lap, having naps, watching movies together, he loves to create or update his projects with you on his lap, holding you grounds him. Plus it’s easier to speak some kisses on your cheeks that way

He finds out some people on the heavier side stops themselves to live some experiences the hard way, he never wants to make you uncomfortable, ever. But it takes a while for him to understand why wouldn’t you like to, as an example, wear a bathing suit/ swimwear around other people, wearing lighter clothes when it’s absurdly hot during winter time, that you don’t like when he picks you up? things that don’t connect right away. he promises himself to never force you to do anything you don’t want to, but he slowly will try to support you to do whatever you have always wanted to but stopped yourself from doing so bc of your weight

He would take extra time while making out with you, he wants you to know how much he loves your body, every inch of it. Lowkey likes to drag his nails on your tights and mark you

Overall? Donnie is extremely thoughtful, independently of how his partner look like, if they were “part” of some sort of outcast from society, he would take his sweet time to show how important and special his partner is, he is extremely thankful to be able to experience love, something that not only him, but all of the boys, thought it was out of their reach for a really long time, so you bet he’s going to show how appreciative he is oof your love, of all of you 💜

I really tired to innovate a bit here, didn’t want to add the same stuff as other Headcanons that already exists (I mean, Its cute to read how we as writing blogs / authors “agree” on how the boys would react in certain situations, which it is a FactTM that Donnie is a sweetheart. but it’s also good to read new stuff, oooor you know, a new perspective of it, even if it is a “common” / “already done” scenario, you know? )

even if I mostly rambled about Donnie’s personality analysis than to actual stuff he would do or act around an chubby reader lmao, I truly hope you like this! I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes hehe

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 581

So @wereah and I have begun to watch Heaven’s Official Blessing together. The topic came up when we were discussing examples of Asian characters in a cartoon or animated form. Specifically Chinese because drawing Chinese characters have kind of always been Were-Ah’s white whale, with Cael and his father being the latest characters Were-Ah is determined to draw.

For those not aware, in the past several years there has been a rise in Chinese animation studios telling stories for a Chinese audience. We’ve seen a few of these hit movie theaters, with a 3D animation style heavily inspired by the likes of Pixar. However, there have also been animation studios heavily inspired by Japanese animation and recently have been picked up by streaming services.

And… the thing I was not expecting when we got into this, was finding out that apparently doing edits to animated shows to make them more ‘understandable’ or ‘acceptable’ for a western audience was still a thing. 

For those who are not as old as I am (and fuck am I old), it was not uncommon in the late 90s and early 2000s to make edits to anime during the dubbing process to make it more understandable or more acceptable for a western audience. Part of it was censoring because the anime translated used to be for TV, and was often meant for an older demographic than what it was marketed to, due to misunderstandings on who cartoons were for. However, another part of it was a distrust of the audience not understanding that this was translated from another culture, and as a result certain cultural references or tropes were cut or re-edited with western sensibilities in mind.

When we first started watching Heaven’s Official Blessing, we actually started on the Funimation website because the two first episodes were for free. Due to a cliffhanger however, Were-Ah searched for where else the series might be posted so neither of us had to get a Funimation subscription. 

It turned out, it was on Netflix (which Were-Ah had), and that it was cut differently than what was on the Funimation website. And when I talk about being “cut differently” I mean where the episodes start and end. We had left off on the Funimation website on episode 3, but upon watching it, it looked part of episode 2. When we looked at the run time for each episode it didn’t look like Netflix shortened any of the episodes. This could only mean one thing.

The version that Funimation had, which was a dubbed show, had removed bits and pieces from the original show.

So we ended up watching the first two episodes again, which was in the original Mandarin language with subtitles. Which I really recommend, not because I’m snobby about dub versions, but because it can be easy to miss references verbally, even if the dub was true to the translation.

It was fascinating to watch, because what had happened was that the pacing of the story was quickened by removing bits and pieces that would have drawn the storytelling out. Some of these were very small bits of animation, like a shot of koi swimming in a pond or the pouring of tea. Others were weirdly important to the story, like when the main character Xie Lian was explaining the story behind a ghost he and his group were cutting. During his explanation, it cut to a storybook style paper cut scene as he explained what had happened, which we didn’t see before.

Were-Ah commented on how the Netflix version made it more serious and had also noted how the Funimation version seems to be a bit more comedic in tone as Xie Lian seemed like a hot mess. Whereas in the Netflix version it was pretty clear this was man playing the fool. That being said, there were also a lot of context clues that were missing in the dubbed version.

Some of it was certainly the result of trying to fit the voiceover with the mouth movements, but some of it was also just not bothering to put it in, or changing it to change the context. It was a fascinating watch, and I stayed up longer than I should have last night, but it was fun.

I’m just a bit disappointed that doing edit cuts like that is still a thing in 2024.

[im-smart-i-swear]

If funky guys had become paladins of voltron which one would be in which Lion?

back in the VERY early days of this whole au(like. buddys-name-was-still-ryou early) i wanted to base every clones personality/character on a diffrent lion.... but over time it slowly stopped fitting their personalities and i kinda abandoned the concept lol. though you can still see some remnants of that in . certain design choices...

going back to this concept after uhhh two years?? i think? was definetely interesting! all the characters changed WILDLY since then and i tried to re-assign the lions to fit the changes........ it was surprisingly hard

i couldnt for the life of me decide in a few cases, so instead im just gonna give the most suitable options lol

tashi & soup - im putting these two together beacuse- and i have NO IDEA how that would work- theyre copiloting the black lion! they function the best as a duo and separating them would NOT be a good idea in a situation as stressful and complicated as piloting voltron. they barely manage to keep everyone alive on a good day... also picking only one of the two as The Leader just feels wrong

buddy, ideally, would like to stay as FAR AWAY from voltron as psyhically possible, thank you very much- but nothing in this cruel world is ideal, so they get the red lion:) i actually have this whole story idea where basically stickbug ""goes rouge""(like. some sort of 'sleeper agent mode' left over by haggar gets activated by accident??) and runs away to do some evil shit so buddy goes after him(on a whim)(alone)(without telling the others) and while searching for him they bump into fUCKING VOLTRON- so they form a very uneasy truce until they find stick. and at some point buddy finds out he can pilot the red lion! its awful he hates it:/ he pilots anyway cause his loved one is in danger(this whole thing is way too complicated to talk about here lol)

i had A LOT of problems figuring out the last three..... they changed so much that i just cant rlly fit them into these categories anymore... but i tried!!

ORIGINALLY stickbug was supposed to be based on the green lion but he doesnt fit it as well anymore....... i think taks does pretty well tho! shes very bold and iquisitive and a pain in everyones ass<3 plus loves learning about diffrent planets' unique ecosystems n stuff. stick IS very curious and likes exploring so he still kinda fits? but hes not as forward as taks, so yeahhhh im very torn on this one

i have NO FUCKING CLUE what to do with blue. all three of em could propably fit there ngl....

yellow could either be taka or stickbug- taka is the youngest and the brightest, hes what brought all of them together in the first place(it takes a village to raise a child)....... buuuut hes not really a 'puts the needs of others above his own' kind of person? hes still a kid and NOT ready for that kind of responsibility. soup is an OBVIOUS choice here of course, but im not sure- honestly, the more i think about it, the more stickbug starts to feel like the best option here? ok hear me out: stickbug, for most of his life, had very little power over his life. even while with the funky guys(ESPECIALLY in the beggining, these bozos were dysfuctional as fuck) there were moments when the others would talk over him bc 'hes a kid', and even without that theres still his people pleasing problem wnich meant he often disregarded his own good to make other ppl content. so, taking this scrawny guy desperate for control over his life and putting him in the toughest, stongest, most resilient lion- basically i think he deserves to go a little apeshit. as a treat. let him wreck shit for once

honestly it kinda funny im stting here and calculating all of this like a mad man where IN THE ACTUAL SHOW the paladins switch the lions like pokemon cards

realistically speaking i think they would all trade and switch em a lot and then squabble over who gets to pilot yellow bc they ALL want to wreck shit sometimes:)

[tinyangrynerd]

im also curious as to how you make your dragons look like Bugsnax characters (since I also want to do it, but not with Bugsnax characters lol) but if you don’t mind explaining how to do it, I’d really appreciate that!

Ah yes, Fandragons, my specialty~

this isn't even all of them. no i don't have a problem. i don't have a problem. i don't-

Um.. I would say there's not really any sort of method to it? You just kinda pick what colors, breed, apparel, etc. you feel match a character best ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ They don't even have to be spot on, just what you like or vibe with.

And also using a LOOOOOOT of creative liberties, since while FR has a lot to offer, it's still rather limited with what it actually has (i'm looking at you casual clothes and leather jackets...). Especially if you're looking for something highly specific, like a certain weapon or something... You just kinda have to find whatever's the closest thing and work with it.

I can give some examples of what i look for or take into consideration when making a fandragon. But it should be noted that obviously other people will have different ideas of what fits a character or what details matter more. It all really does just come down to personal preference. As does anything in this game.

A good place to start is the dragon breed. Which one fits a character's vibe best? Or maybe which one has in-game lore that matches with the character? You want to also consider poses, as sometimes they can give off completely different moods in the same breed. i have built some fandragons based on a dragon's pose alone.

Another fun thing to play with is what eyes/element do you want them to be? What matters more: picking a Flight element that fits their character (maybe they have lighting powers which is an integral part to their design, so you make them a lightning dragon)? Or maybe you just want to match their eye color (maybe they have striking yellow eyes that stand out in their design, so you go with a light dragon). I personally go back and forth between these two, just kinda depends on the character. But some people will prefer to prioritize one over the other. Especially if you want to use them in the Coliseum, then Flight element matters a little more there.

The tricky part i would say is picking out colors. This is where it really does just come down to personal choice. You just gotta play around in the Scrying Worshop for a bit and find what you like most. Or you can browse the AH until you stumble across a dragon that hits the mark for ya. Some things that can help with deciding is figuring out any specific genes you'd want for them, if you have any. Or building their outfit first (if they are gonna be a Modern breed and you plan to dress them up), and then testing out different scries to see what works with the outfit best. That last one has helped me quite a lot a few times. I've had several instances where i come up with a scry i think works pretty well, but then putting them in the outfit, it clashes horribly, or the genes don't work as well as i thought they would

And speaking of building outfits..

The Dressing Room is another very helpful tool. Letting you have access to EVERY piece of apparel the website has to offer, so you can't put together your perfect outfit without having to buy a bunch of random pieces and hoping for the best (ah those were the days...). Then you can preview that outfit on any active dragon, saved Scrying Workshop scries, or a blank breed mannequin. So long as it is an adult modern breed. It also lets you try on skins!

This is also again where the Game Database becomes super helpful, as it also let's you search through every piece of apparel, but with a more specific set of filters.

And that's about it? Really, just go ham. Go crazy! Make funny little dragon guys!

[dmagedgoods]

Ok, for the 60 Character Asks: 8, 26, 57 for Sal; 2, 20, 60 for Eneas; and 1, 22, 42 for Crowley (I hope I spelled his name right) please 🥺 👀

Salvadore: 8. If they were an animal, which one would they be? Which one would they think they’d be? A panther. Aesthetically and because big cats suit him very well in behavior too. I’d say his perception fits reality here, he’d agree that if he was an animal it would need to be some sort of feline predator. 26. What’s one topic they could never get tired of researching or learning about? Politics. 😁 In all facets, in history, theories, social aspects, philosophical ones too, methodology, strategies, economy … His second all-time weakness – and of course connected – is rhetoric and how to guide impressions by appearance, demeanor, and well-aimed words. He also never grows tired of sociology. Aside from this field, he always enjoys poems and literature in general. 57. How do they feel about drugs? Except for some rare and either very intimate or very desperate situations where he searches for the experience of letting go deliberately, he despises not being in full control of his mind. Of course, he enjoys alcoholic drinks, but those for the taste and the flair not their effect on one’s senses, and, luckily for him, it takes a lot for him to get drunk or is close to impossible thanks to his dhampir nature. Other drugs, well, he wouldn’t be very interested in those on his own account. It’s Daeran who convinces him to try this or that. But Salvadore would never use them during work, important missions, or when there is even the slightest chance that he’ll be seen by anyone but his husband. This said, every once in a while it comes to a very different kind of situation where he takes certain substances: Since he doesn’t want to leave marks and traces of what happened, he uses certain potions in his self-punishment phases. I’m not sure it counts as drugs though, the effect is the exact opposite of pleasant and deliberately so. ~ Eneas: 2. What’s their biggest regret? Oh ouch. That he never went back to search for his family when he had the means eventually, afraid his vague memories of them might be wrong, even more afraid they might be right, and that they would not want him around anymore after the things he had to do. The second thing he painfully regrets is that he left Salvadore when he still needed him. 20. Who’s their go-to person for advice? Anyone around him. Usually, he is the person others consult for advice, but when he finds himself in the need of such, he likes to hear different views on it. He disguises the topic ever so slightly to make sure it won’t be recognizable in its entirety or as an actual issue he deals with and then listens to people’s opinions. Of course, if he truly manages to build trust with someone, this very close person will get to hear about what troubles him in a much more genuine way and he’ll ask for their advice openly. 60. What are some of their simple pleasures? The whole list?? 😮 Oh, the question asks for some, alright, that works. Food: Eneas loves to indulge in tastes in an almost sensual manner, he also loves the certainty that he’ll never have to be truly hungry again. Music: One of the things he lives for, to lose himself in its magic by listening, moving with it, or creating it himself ... Good stories: To hear them as much as telling them. Watching people: Their behavior, wishes, hopes, joys, fears, every delicious emotion, every oddity and quirk. Sunsets: Oh those colors! ... I literally could go on forever. Those “simple pleasures” are highly important to Eneas and he celebrates them daily. He manages to find wonders and deep bliss in seemingly mundane niceties. Rowey: (He doesn’t mind being called Crowley. 😁 Rowley is only something he made up as well after all.) 1. What’s the one thing they would save in a fire? Bold of you to assume he didn’t start the fire himself. But let’s assume it was an accident: An ugly, dirty old teddy bear missing one eye, patched in many places. It belonged to his twin brother when they were children already. 22. Are they a dog person or a cat person — or something else?

A dog person! He even owns one. Omen is her name. (the Xoloitzcuintli Quetzal race comes close if you want to know what she looks like. 😊) 42. What’s the typical first impression after meeting this person? This question! For Rowley of all people. Perfection. 😂 Well, depending on the situation and who is asked, people meeting him for the first time may describe him as: Insufferable, a danger to society, a fun guy, an annoyance, a dangerous criminal, a pain in the ass, an interesting ally, the worst that happened to them all week, too courageous for his own good, a prankster, admirable, a despicable creature … The typical first reaction after meeting him is either disbelief combined with embarrassment or a bit of rage or at the very least irritation. For the very relaxed people out there, it may be amazement and amusement.

[slapplebees]

hi @schmoft 🩷 i search in conversation-ed to relearn some things and here's what i found:

1) Jasmine does get her body back; she spawns back in her old body, and fully loses her mother's body and the plush lamb doll she kept part of her soul in.

it's devastating, and you made a really beautiful grief metaphor about it that hit me like a truck. basically she gets her old body back and her soul fits in it and she can use magic again and breathe and feel alive but she hasn't felt farther from her mother and that feels like dying you're fucked up for that !!

that really only tells me i have to get rid of the blonde wig on pinkgoat Jasmine after she resurrects on the ppt so i'll go do that grill don't you worry

2) we got into a discussion about house demons and posession, and with the new lore that the house demons Batch A had a weaker spell and Batch B had a stronger one, i am spinning in a little tub of water so let me explain:

Batch A had a weaker connection to their humans so Jasmine escaped easily but has had to work so so hard for the past centuries to maintain her stupid weak bond to her mother and keep her mother's body intact and not fucking melting so she desperately takes the drugs and whatever else she can to do so. and maybe she's stuck in a loop of not wanting to look in the mirror to see her mother's face slightly wearing down and melting through the centuries but also wanting to so badly because how else is she ever gonna see her again she is literally wearing her face

in general, escaped Batch A demons are worse for wear, a lot sicker, and less likely to survive without a proper body but Jasmine fucking made it Work because she Has To.

Batch B demons have a stronger connection, which is harder to break but more stable after the demon has escaped

so for Mr. Potter, his escape was hard-won and brutal, but he's generally less sickly than Jasmine and less dependent on the drugs which is how he survived Out of Town in his stolen body (also, i guess he used to live Out of Town so he has experience weathering it out there good for him-)

meanwhile Mallory's soul is bound to Matthew so strongly and it's worse they're friends so there's some Love there too (normal levels!!) and like we see in Ch1 the bond is strong enough Mallory can touch Matthew here and there and he hates it he hates it it's awful and horrible

anyway if either of them knew about the Batch A & B thing, Jasmine would so want Batch B's spell if only to keep her mother with her (not realizing that means her mother's death would have to be awful and deliberate and not a slow but quiet death like she had, Which means Jasmine would have to kill her which would be her first real actual kill since attempting to kill her brother and herself for the "greater good" which really just sounds like damn she has an awful track record of having and finding reasons to kill her family wow maybe she is an awful person but that's the Heavenly Virtue speaking maybe she hasn't fully unlearned all that), and Mallory would want Batch A's spell because it would make pushing Matthew away so much easier (not realizing it would be trivially easy to kill Matthew and if he ever did accidentally break out and take Matthew's body he'd die pretty easily AND yeah he'd have Matthew's body but at that point there'd be no bringing him back and if he failed to maintain the body with pills etc. he'd watch his friend melt and he can't bear to do that)

anyway none of this matters it's all just something something they have what the other (theoretically) wants but they don't know that. but I Know That. also be careful what you wish for, ALSO Jasmine's bond to her mother and Mallory's bond to Matthew are both strong and as important to the characters: one's familial and one's platonic, but both are at a certain point self-destructive as hell idk maybe it's not just kitsunes who are allowed to be super mega insane and it's knocking around in my head

if Jasmine and Mallory ever met that would be Crazy but they would definitely not and that's a good thing good for them i will now eat a single polvoron made out of dyed gym chalk goodbye thank you for letting yourself get isekai'd

[theotherpages]

An Essay on AI Art

Steve Spanoudis, 8/12/2023

Some of my friends are upset with me for generating AI art. I am not really a fan of AI art - in general - but I am a practitioner of it for some fairly specific reasons - some of them creative, and some of them practical.

Before I start: there are 22 images included with this essay. Can you find the one that is NOT created using AI? Hint - NONE of these are photographs.

First the negatives. There are several very big negatives. The most obvious is that with AI art, as with deep fake videos and AI authored text - someone is creating artificial realities that can be both authentic in appearance and absolutely fraudulent in intent and messaging. This is doubly dangerous in the times we are living in, in which our increasingly polarized society is constantly searching for scraps of evidence that fit their narrow worldviews. That did not start with, and will not end with AI. But for people who exist in echo chambers, things are probably going to get worse.

There is also the problem that it’s too easy. Yes, that is a problem. Anything of worth should be gained at a cost - a cost of time, or effort, or pain, or in trade for something else also of worth. Anything we gain too cheaply we do not appreciate, and in honesty, we do not understand. In my case, I have been drawing in perspective since I was ten and writing programs to draw things since I was thirteen (old enough to bicycle to the university, sneak into classrooms, and copy down class accounts and passwords). I never claimed I was good at it, but it gave me understanding and appreciation. And a viewpoint. Five decades of perspective. Of appreciating how hard it is to turn difficult ideas into something I can share.

Another negative is the fact that much of AI art is essentially theft. Clearly the ‘bot had to be trained on something - actually millions of somethings. The most obvious issue here is that those artists, or their estates, which own those intellectual properties, are owed both the right to approve or disallow derivative uses of their work, and financial compensation for the use of their intellectual property. They never got those opportunities, or that compensation, and that is clearly wrong.

And this is a rapidly expanding problem. We’ve seen it mainly in visuals so far, but I suspect we will see the problem increasingly in writing (hence the screenwriters’ strike), and eventually in music as well. Autotune was only the beginning. “Is it real? Or is it MidVoice AI?” (My apologies to Memorex, for those who remember.)

So why do I make use of AI as a platform for generating art? For one thing, as a novelist, I have spent a lot of time exploring the idea of AI, and as AI-enhanced tools come available, I want to explore those too. For another thing, it is an enabler. A minor one or a major one depending on your viewpoint, but within its parameters it can often provide an effective way to translate words and ideas into images. Not always - there are limits, and iterative guidance is needed, though that may change over time. It helps me see what my written character descriptions might look like, with interesting variations.

So, for example, instead of me spending a month painting a book cover or making a visual character sketch I can live with (I paint with Acrylics on stretched canvas mainly, and am not great at faces), I can now create something within a few hours using a combination of prompt-based AI art, iterating on text descriptions, and post-processing in several additional sets of photo and painting software.

I can even paint something by hand, and merge it with AI art to create a hybrid, or edit the AI result and fix inconsistencies and things the software has not been trained to express - either because of language limitations or because certain described concepts are beyond its range. In my view, the recent advances in AI art have created a powerful tool. A tool with limitations, and a tool with great potential for abuse, but nevertheless, a tool.

One of the things I DO NOT DO, and will never do, is to intentionally ask for anything “in the style of” or “in the manner of” and try to pawn it off as my own work. I have no desire to usurp someone else’s creative ideas or techniques, or infringe on what they should be earning for their work. Lord knows how hard it is to get people to value real creativity in any appropriate monetary way. Just look at NFTs. The value has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the artwork (or anything else).

Are you going to point a finger at me for using AI tools and argue that it’s a slippery slope? That any use of the technology only leads to it becoming wider-spread, and potentially even more filled with abuses? If so, my response is to hold up a mirror. Do you have an avatar on your profile? That’s AI art. How about your background image? Did you create that? If not, are you crediting the person who did? Grabbed an image from Google to illustrate your presentation? How readily visible is the provenance? Do you like movies or video games with CGI? More AI. And if you are a social media user (you probably are if you’re reading this) what percentage of stuff that shows up on your own personal space is something you created? Or are you just recycling other people’s material? Lots of slippery slopes here. Convolved and confounded both in terms of who created it and how it was made.

And what about your home? My house is filled with original paintings I have bought directly from artists I know and admire, and photos I have taken myself, or bought from other photographers. There are only two non-original artworks in our home - one was a gift and one is an old picture of a place on my bucket list that I haven’t gone to yet. How many things in your world are copies of copies of copies that the originator probably doesn’t get a penny off of? It’s not just digital rights that are slippery.

In an honest discussion we must admit that the genie is out of the bottle, and has been out for a long time. It’s just been getting better at doing genie-kind-of-things. If you really want to combat the advance of AI, then be an activist consumer. Buy physical art from real people. Buy the books of real poets. Support your local bands. Go to real museums. Do things that put you and the artists in control. But also appreciate that the AI tools are going to be out there and they are going to be used. They already are. If you really want to understand them, go experiment yourself. It’s not that hard. I certainly have grown to appreciate them. But at the same time, I’m also teaching my 3-year-old neighbor how to paint with watercolors. Acrylics next, then pastels. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I know where I draw my lines. I’ve found my balance. Find yours.

So which image was not created using an AI program?

--Steve

Thanks to the current MidJourney interpreters for generating the AI images.