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#i hate allos but im not joking about it
parksrway · 1 month
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I think it's funny how trans people are allowed to joke about hating cis people and gay people are allowed to joke about hating straight people but the SECOND an aspec person jokes about hating allos y'all shit your pants about it
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fusulyesheep · 11 months
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You are lgbt and in one day is just a passing thought, in the next you see all kinds of analogies to being lgbt in all type of media, and others you feel it so so deeply in yourself; you are lgbt
#for me who i am is not something that i am thinking actively all the time but suddenly something so casual happens#and im stroke with the realization#i really *am* lgbt#all my life is influenced by it somehow#and is not something everyone experiences#and i mean as in#people that are het cis and allo just not lgbt#their identity also influences all their life but is just not something they need to think about#bc they are the norm they are just not affected#when i noticed all the time that im just not viewed as normal by society#but what bothers me the most is that people with distorted notions bc of heteronormativity or whatever#will look at me and other lgbt folks and try to put also distorted labels on us#i want to be genuinely me but people will look at me and think im weird; im not following rules right and that im homosexual#as in the stereotype version of homosexuality#the strict vision of man dating man (they need to ne feminine) and woman dating woman (they need to be masculine)#and are always treated like jokes#bc gay feminine men and lesbian masculine woman exist (and i love them) but is NOTHING like they think it is#they will swear they can they a gay person by distance and is so reductive of everyone who is gay here#and i hate it i hate it so much#i love being gay queer lgbt just all of this hot mess of weirdness for the danm norms#but the realization always hurts and is never only one time#CANT PEOPLE JUST LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND NOT JUST ASSUME EVERYTHING#mey thoughts#going insaaane
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horse-shit · 2 years
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isolation of aromanticism vs deep yearning to feel wanted and loved wholly
being arospike is constantly swinging from being content and flourishing in the absence of self-applicable romance, and the deep-rooted fear that i’ll be alone forever
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tomnookishot · 18 days
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although i feel i will most likely expand on it more in the future as i discover more about myself and the Aromantic Lifestyle, i think for now this might be my hatoful aro masterpost. this all has been on my mind for the past few weeks without me even recognising it and so i kinda just want to touch on uh. almost all of the main characters tbh.
when, a few years ago, i made those UGLY pride headcanon pieces (and yes i hate ALL of them now even yuuya and sakuya and i have considered remaking them but can't muster the willpower to do so) i think i was still weaning off of my inner asshole fandom gay who sat me down and told me "hey bitch. these fags better be AT LEAST bi or else you are homophobic. that's right you HOMOPHOBE i'll KILL YOU!!" as a baby gay i never felt like it was my place to say "hey i don't actually think these characters would be gay" or "i think the emotions projected onto them are not fully fleshed out or accurate to their personality" because i thought expressing a differing opinion made me an asshole, and in my defense there were and continue to be people who say that if you DON'T hc a character as queer, and queer in an acceptable way, then you are homophobic. but look at me now! i'm an asshole! and im defending the rights of aros everywhere 😤 (it's me it's literally just me im the only aro im defending). all of this is to say i have changed a lot of my opinions on the characters through my own exploration of them and through other people's inputs. and im here to tell YOU that you are AROPHOBIC if you don't hear me out and proceed to align all of your headcanons exactly with mine and then give me all of your money and you don't want to be aphobic now do you?
the character that i actually initially wanted to make an aro post about was my sweet normal-type trainer ryouta. i have to be honest with everyone. i actually think ryouta might be hetero. i honestly had no solid idea about his identity when i made my omni hc i genuinely just looked up a list of pride flags so i could say something interesting and im not fucking joking. it was a different time in my life. i actually don't think he would have an interest in men. i just don't read it in him. he admires male characters but that hardly goes beyond signs of genuine friendship. if anything i can see what people say about him after bbl with sakuya but like. is it inappropriate for me to say that i see it as. sometimes going through a traumatic experience with a friend and then having them want you to be safe could be a sign of platonic bonding and trust. i am not sure if ill bring this up more in this post but genuinely one of my least favorite things about internet fandom culture is having to defend yourself when saying a pair of characters might be friends. it so often devolves into arophobia and the devaluing of friendship when I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROMANCE AND FRIENDSHIP in the FIRST PLACE. im not here to say you're WRONG for reading it as romantic. in fact i think in this case it's lowkey fair to do so. but not only is my reading different, i would like to ask an audience that doesn't agree to go into the rest of this post being mindful of the prejudices that are involved with being deeply defensive about romantic headcanons, and that it SUCKS being aromantic and having to add disclaimers like this about your ideas when most queer fandom spaces never expect you to have them for headcanons concerning most other LGBT identities.
anyway. what just happened i blacked out i take no responsibility for anything that i just said. what i wanted to say was that while i really don't read The Gay on ryouta, i think demiro RADIATES from him. i don't remember what it came from, it might've been the qna translation i did, but that time moa was like "if ryouta couldn't be with hiyoko he would probably just be okay being single forever" had me thinkin. i think the typical allo interpretation would probably be "oh so noble he would be so hung up on his old crush that he would never move on to someone new" but i think, when you red string bulletin board this quote across a couple other loose pieces of evidence you can see that it's pretty g-dang demi of him. his attraction to hiyoko stems almost exclusively from his connection with her. he hardly ever makes comments about her looks or how pretty she is. his ideal relationship with her is to just continue the things they've been doing forever, except now they're married i guess. he loves her for the way he's always thought of her, and for the fact that she's such a wonderful friend. she's ALWAYS been strong and supportive, he says. that's what makes ryouta admire her, he says.
he gets defensive when someone gets emotionally close with her. something that always stood out to me in his talk with yuuya on the holiday star was when he says something along the lines of "nageki knows a side of hiyoko that i don't." his fears come from someone knowing hiyoko in a similar intimate way that he does, and i think that's because that's the only way he might process romantic attraction coming to be. he also invalidates the way he believes yuuya sees attraction. in that same talk he throws jabs at how yuuya plays with girls and doesn't really come to know them, and again, besides coming from a society that is against casual sexuality, i think that would make a lot of sense within the context of ryouta seeing deep emotional connection as the only way you can have a "real" romantic love. i think ryouta doesn't really have a want or need to dig deeper into the implications of his attractions, which obviously results in him not even realising he has a crush on hiyoko, but i also think he just isn't. that concerned with figuring out where he stands in terms of romantic orientation. in a world where he is mlm, i think he would probably never recognise that or at least never label it, but regardless, if he's demi i think he would just never see that not everyone experiences attraction the way he does. i think he would be infinitely confused with the people who get married based on five months of dating after meeting on a dating app, which is what i do. honestly i just think ryouta is so accustomed to the status quo of being a young supportive straight guy that he sees his own demiromanticism as, if anything at all, just him being peak love story protagonist. so in conclusion i see ryouta as a hetero-demiromantic who doesn't KNOW that he's demiromantic.
as im trying to decide how i want to order this, i think i have to get someone out of the way. everyone knows i hate him with a passionate fury and i genuinely don't like thinking about him BUT. i have shoe eewahmeanay thoughts. im sorry. i have read what the shuu likers have to say about him. i have read the accursed pieces on his relationship to ryuuji. and your first assumption may be that i would read shuu as aromantic, because i am a freak. well it's not true. i actually DON'T see him as strictly aromantic. i think reading emotions through a clinical and cold view is very common to the aspec experience, especially to romance- and sex-repulsed people. putting yourself completely outside of the actions and experiences and just viewing them through a purely scientific this-is-what-social-creatures-in-A-Society-do-sometimes standpoint, you can find more ease and comfort in examining how other people view relationships. but im not here to argue that this is something that makes shuu aro (considering that is literally something he does), rather i would like to argue that this is something that stems from shuu being a general freak when it comes to Having Relationships. i kind of assume shuu might be somewhere on the arospectrum and as a certified shuu hater it's not my place to decide exactly where but i still see a possibility of attraction being an element of his actions. but it's fucked up™ attraction. i think more than anything being a little neglected boy already part of an upper class where genuine connection is discouraged is the biggest factor in iwamine's stunted social development, but he's also just. i don't think he was ever wired to desire or feel connection, not like most other people at least.
i will happily back the idea that isa was desperate for a well-rounded father figure, and that this is what lead him to becoming so deeply attached to ryuuji rather than him just having a gay crush. he is extremely fucking complicated and i know the shuu likers know that. im pretty sure most articulated shuu opinions will probably factor in the bad childhood and unhealthy dependencies into isa's view on ryuuji. i also think, though, that it is entirely too interesting to imagine that isa cannot comprehend the weight or meaning of his own emotions. i don't know if he's aromantic because on a fundamental level i cannot understand any attractions that i feel and it is extremely difficult to parse through different types of attraction. i think that is exactly the kind of compelling idea to play around with for shuu. i think he would sort through his feelings about ryuuji only after his passing, that being the critical trigger for him to do so and he would be unwilling to think too much about it otherwise, and if/when he did, it would still be in his patented narrow, clinical view. i don't think it's ridiculous to believe that there are unknown and involuntary brain fuck-ups going on that stem from attraction in that guy. of course shuu as an adult can only define his relationship to ryuuji through given societal standards, and i genuinely think there is something deeper than romantic intention there, but shuu may only come to the conclusion of "i'm a fucked up little freak boy who secretly liked being cared about but also i kinda thought he was attractive" (paraphrasing) due to the few words that our world gives us to define different relationships. really he just needs therapy.
um but my issue, the only one that really made me think about my arch nemesis this much, is the sheer amount of fluff that people write him into. it's INSANE. THOSE are the shuu likers who i don't think are as articulated as the ones i RESPECT. regardless of how shuu feels about ryuuji or what attraction he feels for him, shuu shows time and time again an inability to actually express his feelings about other people in any typical way. most of the time he just. y'know. expresses himself through violence and negativity. his interactions with ryuuji are usually dry and riddled with criticisms. shuu ends up carrying out his legacy through genocide. any friendship he could've conceived with tohri was always shut down because isa was always blunt with him, although i think isa didn't genuinely have any ill will towards tohri; tohri is just kind of an insecure guy who is very sensitive to criticism. with hiyoko the only way he can live with her is through actual murder. oh and did i say live i mean commit suicide. i don't know how he feels about hiyoko and to be honest im not terribly eager to figure it out but my point is that shuu only ever expresses positive emotions through negative means. i don't care if you think shuu just wants to be ryuuji's son or if you think shuu is a raging homosexual. he wouldn't be able to make it known either way. there is a post, and i don't have the will to dig it up because to my memory it was very crude but i found it funny nonetheless. i think it was tumblr user fluffyheretic who made a post saying something like "shuu iwamine would not be a hot daddy dom he would be googling 'how to kiss' on google dot com" and honestly yeah. i-- like-- how would that man ever be hot or god forbid fluffy in any other context than his chubby widdle partwidge cheeks. he would not be able to fathom a romantic relationship with the people he knows. he'd probably just like. idk. fantasize about dissecting their body and that would be the only thing he could imagine for days on end. and OH MY GOD. no he would not fucking plan a date. i am throwing shade to the fucks on ao3. this fag would not be cute or romantic at all. he would be off-putting and then you would leave. that would be the date. you might get a back-handed compliment. that's literally how he "courts" hiyoko. NOBODY LIKES HIM. in-game i mean. he is unlikeable. he is a dickhead. hiyoko and ryuuji are the only people to ever form a positive opinion of him because they are positive forces who love everyone. everyone else at the very least says mean shit about him behind his back. shuu iwamine aka isa souma aka utsuro ichijou is an aspec anomaly to me and it doesn't matter if he's aro or not. it's not like he could ever fucking land a date anyway.
transition to someone who is kind of that bitch's opposite: sakuya. or i guess really shuu's good parallel. that constitutes an entire post of its own tbh but. i think in general, even people who aren't that invested in aromanticism in hatoful could probably get down with grayro sakuya. to me at least, it kinda just makes sense on a basic level. he's not really invested in interpersonal relationships, even during his dating route which, need i mention, has its arc revolve around sakuya's personal growth and hardly is it ever implied he is attracted to hiyoko. the only time he ever begins to really feel exceptionally strongly about the people around him is coincidentally the same timeline in which yuuya tells him about their shared history: bbl. that's when he gains a sense of responsibility for his actions and feels a genuine care for his friends, and of course a painful regret for how he treated yuuya in particular his entire life. im almost tempted to call him straight up aromantic but ill let him be grayromantic as a treat. i think it compliments ryouta's demi-ness as the other part of the bbl pair. it also makes sense to me in the context of his very rare flattery in response to other people's praise, i think particularly hiyoko's. i find the thing he says in response to that one question about romantic types, the "someone who has acquired high-class refinement and etiquette. if one does not have those qualities, then they do not deserve to stand by my side," also kind of telling about sakuya's relationship to romance. obviously it's influenced by his role as a noblebirdie and the expectation he finds a partner as a political duty, but also notice how he says it in response to "who is your type?" and not something like "who do you see yourself marrying in the future?" it's not a description of personality or looks, it's a description of behavior. it's a detached response, implying that romance, to him, is not about what he finds attractive. romance is something that is EXPECTED of him. it could generally be assumed, i think, that if you actually did have a type in people, then regardless of if you were to be in an arranged marriage you would be happy to tell other people of that type. I'm sure the most common spin of this is just going to be that sakuya is really dedicated to the whole aristocrat bit but i think it reflects a lack of real interest in romantic relationships. if i were an aro prince thing and the press asked me what my type was, id probably also just respond with how my parents are going to decide who to set me up with. i'm not really looking for anything else, am i?
now. i have something controversial to say. i have gone. back and forth a hundred times on this boy and how i think he feels. and to be honest with everyone i think i might be a yuuya aromantic truther. i think yuuya is a very flirtatious aromantic little freak. and i know, right, he's like the most romantic guy in the entire cast. but it's very similar to the yuuya asexuality logic where flirting and romantic facades are simultaneously his only way of connecting to other people and yet also something that drives a wedge further between him and his connections. when he actually gets close to hiyoko, which is one of, if not the most intimate relationship he develops within the series, it's honestly not that romantic in nature. they're kinda just like. hangin out, but spy-type hangin out. like the entire post i wrote about hiyoko and yuuya's friendship. i know the whole partners-in-crime, two-of-us-against-the-world trope is usually a romantic one, but consider the beauty of the platonic version. consider the freedom. the commitment almost feels more intense when you drop the chains of romantic pressure to stay together. i think the best possible outcome of yuuya's dating route is tosakazaki qpr. besties but with COMMITMENT. besties but they love each other more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. the word queerplatonic has been ruined for me for various reasons but i just know they can reclaim it. i think yuuya might be so casual about romance and sex because he knows it's not in the cards for him. i can say your mom and i are in a committed relationship together with a completely straight face because i will never ACTUALLY be in a committed relationship with your mother. yuuya, similarly, can say he is in a committed relationship with everyone on the planet with a completely straight face because he knows he won't ever actually be in a committed relationship with anyone on the planet. it's so baller of him. i send kiss emojis to my friends and call them hot everyday but i would vomit if they got too close to me. maybe yuuya wouldn't be as touch-repulsed as the little freak i am but i think he would understand flirting as this somewhat rude way to compliment other people without getting too close. that's like. his entire thing.
ill be honest i have very little evidence for aro yuuya i just really WANT it to be real. yuuya- and hiyoko-type aromanticism is just very relatable to me. i relate to and love how they obsess over their friends, especially the way yuuya does it from a comfortable exaggerated distance that makes it clear he just wants to flatter you, and i just WANT it to be in an aro way. because i need more overtly flirtatious characters who just Do Not Want romance. because i need on a visceral level to normalise the presence of romantic elements in a completely platonic setting. making hiyoko and yuuya aromantic, to me, is my big fuck you. i will make these romantic characters aromantic and i will do it again. epic fuck you moment for the people who insist there are things that have to be romantic. epic fuck you moment for the people who claim things that don't involve them as a romantic scenario. my omnipotent level takes on these stupid bird characters are leagues ahead of your stupid baby "weah weh but he risked his life for her that's romance" incorrect IDIOT im literally living my life out of bounds and you're still debating on whether it's gay for a character to literally just CARE about another person.
okay okay i know that sounded like a conclusion but it wasn't fuck off. i'm only halfway through the main cast do you really think im done?
i think nageki is one of the characters i actually don't REALLY care about in terms of romantic identity but i've defaulted to aromantic as a defense mechanism against uncomfortable shit. i think it makes sense with his character (i love autism) and his storyline. but there's a lot of projection there too. and my feeling of protectiveness over a character i really love in such a personal way. i also think it meshes cutely with the fact that hiyoko and hitori, his SIBLINGS!! are aromantic themselves. so that's my headcanon, but honestly i don't feel THAT headstrong about it. i don't think it really makes sense in my head for him to be gay but i dont really care either way about other people's opinions on the matter. i think what bothers me is just that he's REALLY young and there is some Weird Shit that people put him in. sometimes i see him portrayed as. weirdly lustful??? or like uncomfortably obsessive? and not only is that sort of thing low-key weird as hell but like. did you play the game LMAO. clearly you don't know him like i do. sorry everybody part of being aromantic and bringing that into your favouwite tings is being PETTY AS HELL!!! that's my job here.
i thought i had more to say about nageki considering he's like. almost my oldest aro og but i kinda. don't. actually i spent an undisclosed amount of time tracking down a japanese playthrough of hatoful to see which version of "i love you" nageki used in his final speech but it honestly didn't clear very much up. and keep in mind the fact that nageki is talking from such a place of emptiness. he talks about how he fell numb to pain and hiyoko brought back feelings for him but mostly those negative ones. the ONLY positive light in his world is hiyoko. so an intense display of affection is KINDA warranted. and hypothetically it would also be possibly the most logical misunderstanding of one's own emotions in the game. idk sorry everyone hiyoko/nageki sibling dynamic for life. i've stayed in that mindset for so long that on occasion i raise an eyebrow when i see them paired together and then im like Oh. Shit. I'm Being Unreasonable Here. hey but what can you do. nageki love of my life, walking aromantic flag, please tread lightly in the scary waters of fandom spaces.
anghel higure freak of st pigeonation's high baja blast advertisement self-described martyr public-described weirdo someone id totally clock as a trans woman due to the fact that no cis man plays dungeons and dragons liberal user of eyeliner the goth asshole taking all of the GOOD chains from goodwill. an enigma of a person. when sheltered white gay people who ask "okay but are you afab or amab" say we need more weird queers they do NOT mean him. he would say something in his foreign language that roughly translates to "hey if you're a dude bangin dudes then have at em man im not gonna stop ya" and that may lead you to believe he is a straight ally but do NOT look at the yaoi in his sketchbook it reveals something about his mind. he's bisexual he's a little TOO gay he's looking up "homosexual tendencies" and clicking on sketchy medical advice websites he's a lesbian but he isn't a woman he probably isn't a man but non-binary rubs him the wrong way where's that book for parents of closeted children he's a pansexual imp who'll die happy he has no idea what pride is he thinks neopronouns are neat but has no idea how to communicate that in a way other people understand his parents keep hinting that they know he's not straight but he thinks he's keeping it under tight wraps maybe he is straight but he just doesn't FEEL straight he could never catch a date and he's happy about it he gets flattered once and catches feels the hero getting the girl in the end is too cliché but the doomed lone wolf story isn't but hypothetically his story might be cooler with a love interest how about everyone is the love interest this is his otome wait i thought he wasn't a woman and what about that pretty girl the next classroom over who is willing to larp with him is she technically a male love interest actually it's weird if he's going to date everyone how about instead everyone is attracted to him but as the accursed fallen angel he has a duty to never reciprocate he WILL puke if you hold his hand he's probably on the lgbt spectrum but honestly he doesn't care enough to figure it out right now he's got this sick cosplay project he's working on do you wanna see? yeah i don't know what anghel is. he can be aromantic if he wants. but he has to be a weird aromantic. he can be loveless or alloaro or romance favourable or fuck it he's romance repulsed or maybe he wants to kiss but that doesn't mean anything besides the fact that he likes it. it doesn't matter as long as he's weird about it. the minute he stops being weird about it he's fucked.
im sorry everybirdie i didn't realise i had so much to say about the other characters but so little about these last three. and now my transitions between subjects would be too much of a hassle to change so i could organise this into a more well-rounded balance of long rants and short tidbits. i wanted to save hitori for last because when i tried to talk about why he's aromantic i felt like the audience was more concerned with the fact that i was trashing on his popular ships than the fact that He Is Aromantic Guys I'm Being For Real He Told Me Himself. so i wanted to clarify my reasoning more thoroughly as the final character in the lineup, but im actually pretty sure that i WAS clear about why i think he's aromantic at the time, and now i don't have too much i want to say. so here's a list of bullets explaining why he's aromantic:
it makes the most sense with his storyline and character - hitori really is a character defined by his relationships to this around him, but like. in a way that he never has the spotlight. he's providing for his little siblings. he's providing support for his students. he's making it clear that hiyoko needs to learn about herself before she ever gets close with him. hell, he kills a man not out of bloodthirst or malice but as a sacrifice for his brother. he STRIVES to be alone. his baby siblings are his priority in his life and that doesn't change for a second, because like a baby bird (ha) he's made this imprint on the only people he truly associates with love and losing them was like losing what love MEANS to him. which is literally what he says himself. so like. not only does that mean other relationship archetypes are not in his field of vision, but treating his loved ones with that brotherly, somewhat overwhelming care is the only way he really knows HOW. it's how he treats kazuaki (til the end OOPS) and his students and hiyoko. and like i said. in the end of his story (as in. not mirror universe), his outcome is that he is alone without his children to look after. he goes along with hiyoko's confession in the end not because he's actually interested but because. i guess he just doesn't really have anything else to do. i don't even think he believes he can love again. i think hiyoko just goes "it's too sad that you don't want to love again :(" and then kazuaki goes "*sharp nose inhale, midwestern thigh pat* so anyway if you're still interested in that whole dating thing we can probably do that later if you want." i just really think inserting romantic love into his story after nageki is such a disservice to this entire key part of his character, that being that he REFUSES to love again after the loss of his brother. also it just feels kinda weird in a mirror scenario or whatever to make him get romantically involved with anyone SORRY i've heard that boyish charm in how he speaks i can only see confused innocence in his eyes my apologies
can you REALLY imagine him in a relationship or do you just see a generic anime guy and want to ship him with the closest twink
it makes the most sense within the themes of hatoful as a game - HELLO least romantic romance game EVER like please. this game is about appreciating the little things and learning to love life and yourself through grief THERE'S NO TIME WE'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE DROP THE SHIPS FUCK THE THEMES THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER HELP HEEEELLLLP OH NO I LOVE MY LIFE AND IM OKAY BEING ALONE EVEN THOUGH I LOST THE PEOPLE I LOVE FUCK IT'S LIKE SOMETHING THAT PENETEATES EVERY ROUTE GAHHHHHH
that thing he said in the character interview about "never really having thought about [his romantic type]"
it is objectively funny
a few years ago at a high school show choir showcase there was a solo about a girl who was insane and falling in love with a hot coffee barista but he actually didn't know what romance is
all of the fan content surrounding him and romance is So bad and out of character (or even half portraying him as not wanting it in the first place) that i literally cannot see him as anything but aromantic. you guys literally ruined it sorry.
women are gross and men are gross and he didn't know people could be other genders until he heard some more in-touch teenager talking about it and honestly he's still pretty confused he's supportive but it's not something he could be into even just for the fact that he's nervous about offending them
it would honestly be embarrassing if he ever got into a relationship like all of that "my siblings are everything to me" and for what. you have a girlfriend now? that's gay
speaking of which him being straight makes like a thousand times more sense than him liking men but also i hate straight people
it makes ME uncomfy so i get to have my favourite boy be aromantic because i hate everyone here
sometimes i feel like applying really specific queer labels to characters is doing them a disservice in itself, because some characters seem Weird enough to delve into niche queer spaces and find those labels, but a lot of characters don't even know what pansexual actually means and you know it. my ideal way of defining a character's orientation is by looking at what would make sense for them to be attracted to and then just saying that's what they're attracted to, rather than saying they're gay or they're straight or bi or whatever. anyway that's just what i've been trying the make clear over the course of this post besides the aromanticism of it all.
i'm writing an entirely new conclusion from the one i wrote back in january. i think that aromanticism has become more of a rebellion than anything else to me. in all facets of my life. sometimes it's just so goddamn hard to EXIST as a PERSON when it's like nobody even believes you as you are. i feel like i've lost a lot of autonomy to be anything except a memory or a story. and im not interested in being erased. but i don't think any place has ever made me feel as seen and validated and VINDICATED as the aromantic community. it's like. Fuck you. yeah im not part of any boxes you'd understand. i feel like i didn't feel such a sense of free will until i found myself here. hell. i can do WHATEVER i want. i never thought about that. literally nobody can stop me. aromanticism cuts so many ties from other people's realities and what they believe to be real. so many people HATE aromanticism or what it stands for even if they don't want to admit it. and that is everything to me.
but in a fandom space, where rules are so much more rigid than they appear, where you come to share your favourite things with other people and only find that everyone is trying to make it known that their opinion is the Most Correct One about your beloved series or franchise or whatever the hell, it's like. kinda really hard to exist. as an aromantic and as a member in general. the other day i saw a community post on youtube by this girl who got popular in a niche community and she was just really conflicted because on one hand she wanted to move on from the space and make things she actually was interested in but on the other hand she didn't want to give up what she loved about this game and she also didn't want to lose her audience. and man the amount of times i've seen that shit is pretty disheartening. it's really not an unfounded fear. i have SEEN people who do cool stuff die out because they got popular for something very specific. it's so draining to motivation for them and it's always a shame to see people you like give up because they just don't matter to very many others. my point by bringing this story up is to just give an example that i saw recently of how suffocating fandom is. people are mean, man. for a lot of people fan spaces are freeing and happy but i feel like sometimes we just forget that they'll never be as good as just having a group of friends in real life to discuss your favourite things with. because the internet is designed to divide and organise and if we're being honest i think a lot of people fall into the trap of feeding the cycle of trying to make fandom this Very Specific Thing when it's really just a bunch of guys. and god. people who participate in fandom. well by default they are already very online and so g-dang it they're kinda just pricks. and sometimes the sheer amount of mental disorder within these spaces it. y'know don't fuckin deny it man it adds to the assholeness sometimes.
so like. being such a small minority within fandom, as an aromantic, is also my rebellion here. fuck you. i'm not falling into the tropes assigned seemingly at random to force a dynamic between characters. i can see without the blurred lens of the Shipping Glasses™. i am pretty sure that being aromantic kinda makes the grasp on characterisation a little stronger because im not looking at things the same way some other people are. sorry to be on my high horse everyone. Enjoying your hobby vs. Joining the subreddit for that hobby. everything is aromantic. i have a beam for it. i'm sorry to all of the other aros who feel excluded from fan spaces because of the sheer invasiveness that comes with shipping culture and amatonormativity and just plain Assholes within fan spaces. just something i've been thinking about for like. fucking. a few years idk. all of the hatoful characters have that aro in them because i couldn't give less of a shit about bad takes (bad takes being They Are Not Aromantic). i've got good takes. this is aromanticism baby. okay i'm gonna go hang myself from a tree now bye bye.
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leonscape · 2 years
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asexual characters. i take no criticism, i have claimed them for the aces.
1. Artem Wing
He gives “im focusing on school/work” ace but doesn’t realize they’re ace vibes. Please stop bullying him for being a virgin with one doctorate degree.
2. Yves Kloss
He bakes cakes and cake is better than seggs.
(also a lot of his steamy smut scenes feels like they’re just for fan service because it’s an otome game.)
3. Chevalier Michel
If Chevalier can do everything because he’s a genius, how come no bitches?
If you said “because he never needed bitches,” that seems like ace culture to me.
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4. Clavis Lelouch
He’s purple. Just kidding. He just has demisexual vibes. I think he wouldn’t be interested in a sexual relationship unless there are romantic feelings. I could be wrong ngl, the ace vibes aren’t strong in this one but because he’s purple I shall claim him.
4. Sariel Noir
He’s also purple. Just kidding (not really). A professional man. Leads me to believe he’s a kinky grayace. (again the ace vibes aren’t strong because i know next to nothing about him. i can’t wait to be proven wrong 🤠)
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🖤🤍💜
🤫
(coincidence? i think not 🤨)
5. Isaac Newton
Bro discovered gravity so the allos could get laid. Okay that was a terrible joke but I’m leaving it in here. No but fr, another case of “I have to study, I don’t have time for a relationship,” vibe.
Irl Isaac is believed to be ace too.
6. Jean D’arc
Irl Joan of Arc aka “Jehanne la Pucelle” (Joan the Maid, as in Joan the Virgin).
Read more about her here.
Ikevamp Jean just screams clueless and oblivious. He’s like the *doesn’t realize that having sex isn’t a joke* type of ace. Again, his spicy scenes are a little 🤔🤔🤨 They do feel like they’re just for the ✨thirst✨
7. Zero
The Ace of Hearts 😈🖤💜🤍
Maybe it’s because he was made in a lab idk. His route is very ace friendly, they don’t just shove weird spicy scenes in your face. Or at least from what I remember. I played his dramatic route and I don’t remember there being any smutty scenes.
8. Fenrir Godspeed
The Ace of Spades 😈♠️ He’s purple.
Sex positive ace. Yeah i actually just put him here because he’s the ace of spades 🧍🏻‍♀️
9. Luka Clemence
He’s another purple character. He also bakes cakes and stuff and that’s better than seggs. He’s too innocent, always so clueless.
10. Uesugi Kenshin
Very suspicious of irl Kenshin never marrying, having a concubine, or having children of his own🤨
Ikesen Kenshin saying he hates women is kinda funny to me for some reason maybe because he would be canceled to fast for saying that. Anyways he’s too busy with his battles to think about relationships.
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salted-caramel-tea · 20 days
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i hate the the apec post bc it’s ppm getting upset that it’s not worded they way they want (it’s a joke) people going well what about aces that DO have sex (it’s a joke) allo people saying LOL!! IM JUST SINGLE AND A LOSER (this is about aspec people) and people wondering why this specific post isn’t directly linked to their own personal experience . like non of yall have ever heard of jokes in your life
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icarusistires · 4 months
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Just a rant about Alastor
i am genuinely so tired of hearing "aroace people can still date"
because I genuinely haven't seen anyone try to say oyherwise. No one is saying you can't. It's a meaningless excuse at this point- I could be wrong, this is just from everything I've seen.
But I'm so fucking tired of it. Yes, Aroace people can date, or have sex, and still be completely valid. But the point is that some aroace people DONT WANT THAT. Im so fucking tired of seeing Alastor placed in relationships, as someone who is aroace and doesn't want any sort of romantic or sexual relationships. It genuinely feels like hearing someone say 'oh you'll meet someone eventually' or just disregarding my feelings. I was romance/sex neutral before, and usually don't care about shipping much but this fandom's sheer amount of shipping/simping over Alastor has made feel physically repulsed by even the slightest romantic or sexual related remark or joke that includes Alastor. I can't look at his ao3 tag without suddenly feeling mildly sick.
I just want to enjoy this character being aroace without being flooded with people saying 'well actually aroace people can date', 'he's just a fictional character', or 'Vivzie said it was fine'
I'm not even usually that fased by fandoms, I might slightly cringe at proship content, but I can exclude romantic/sexual content that includes my favourite characters and have an equal amount of content.
Why is it so fucking hard to ask for more content where Alastor ISN'T SHIPPED OR SIMPED FOR IN. This might just be me, but it's gotten to the point where it's just aroace erasure. Even for those that do experience romantic/sexual desires. Because it feels like people are using those people as a scapegoat to ignore Alastor's orientation. I'd be a lot more ok with all of it if his aroace identity was respected in the process.
If I'm not clear enough, from what I've seen, it feels like allo people only use the aroace folk who do have relationships as an excuse, and not actually caring about their experiences with being aroace, and in the process basically just remove any semblance of Alastor's aroace identity.
I don't hate anyone who ships these things, ship away! Just please, include Alastor's aroace orientation while you do it. But other than that, there just isn't a whole lot of content where Alastor isn't in a relationship or something similar. Please, let Alastor be single in more content, let him just be friends with everyone in more content, because it feels like I now have to say, that just because aroace people can be in romantic or sexual relationships, DOESN'T MEANT EVERY AROACE PERSON WANTS TO BE IN OR IS COMFORTABLE WITH IT
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aropride · 1 year
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the first time i ever got anon hate i was 12 and i made a post that was a stupid pun abt plants and asexual reproduction and joking about the plants (ace people) studying the scientists (allo people) (this joke made a lot more sense when i made it ive forgotten the details now) and someone got mad at me and was like “Ackshully. that joke is homophobic because scientists used to study gay people. Kill yourself” like man im 12 i have algebra schoolwork to do
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cupid-quinn · 6 months
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ranting on the blog cos i fucking can!!!! saw a post talking shit about a fic that involved an asexual character and im just annoyed!!!!
i hate reading a fic and seeing the comments and one of them is like “hey this piece of work is shit cos u represented this asexual character wrong >:(“ when the work represented the asexual character PERFECTLY FINE but theyre not sex repulsed.
the character could be shown making sex jokes or even just casually talking about sex and somehow its an issue? lord FORBID theyre in the bedroom too (no matter if they’re participating or not)
funny enough asexual people arent all sex repulsed, idk how many times this needs to be said? not all asexual folk are the silly weird “sometimes i forget sex exist!” character thats become to prevalent in media now. and im not saying being sex repulsed is bad/being stereotypical, being sex repulsed is fine! ok! amazing! but what im saying is it isnt the only way to be asexual.
honestly any representation of asexuality is good representation cos its a (sparkle effect) SPECTRUM (sparkle effect) some are sex repulsed, some are sex indifferent, some are sex favourable, some are sex weird and some just really wanna touch some ass. You literally cannot misrepresent asexuality unless you purposely write a canon ace character as allo. you cannot misrepresent asexuality cos people are weird and odd and different.
im sorry if your uncomfy with an asexual character being written/shown as being sex indifferent/sex favourable but please just block the tags, dont read the work, dont interact and fucking dont comment. youre acting like an ass and making someone feel bad for no reason. its fine to be uncomfortable cos funny enough you have the right to but dont put others down cos you’re uncomfortable.
it happens so often no matter if its fanfiction, artwork, whatever-the-fuck, anytime an asexual character is shown in a sex related situation theres a problem. unless if the character has been specified to be sex repulsed, shut up and let people have fun.
it gets tiring thats all?
(not using any specific tags, only cos i dont wanna get harassed but if you somehow found this congrats ig)
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I would wish to see
OK OH LORD THIS IS GONNA BE LONG, some is stuff discussed w/ my pal @idiotv2 and some is just mine (we each have our own versions but there's some stuff shared so!)
without further adieu: These are kinda old lol. I'll be doing an eventual post about their USC interpretations
ALL:
yeah theyre all related in this one.
They're also all italian immigrants!
There is a front related to each one (Charon's Ferry - clothing store | and i cannot remember the others tbh. kerby's was a trampoline park tho. they go feral in there)
ALL SOME FLAVOR OF NB (they/them) and all of them aroace...except hydra who is the token allo /hj
all our cogs have some slight basing on animals so. furries the lot of them (affectionate)
All have some form of bone/joint/frame/shell issues (The head attorney does too) <- that's their Zizi btw (italian gender neutral for aunt/uncle figures)
All lost their shells but in different ways
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(Left is relationships, right is an old reference with their shells + my friend's oc joey. hes funney i like him.)
Charon:
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the oldest and tallest
got put into a leadership position but would rather not TM
I'm pretty sure that with their shell Charon was considered to be pretty attractive
Wolf based, i believe they're a timberwolf but we may not have been that specific
Our designs and HC's diverge around when they all lose their shells so -- Charon (to me) becomes a spotlight thing
(Based on the light almost looking like a moon and how wolves howl, and them not wanting to be IN the spotlight)
legal surname is Christy
Gorgon thing also, can reflect damage back at you. maybe also turn you to stone if you step into the beam of light and theyre MAD)
SO SCARED OF BUGS THEY CRY AND GAG AND THROW UP IN THEIR MOUTH (i joke but they are terrified)
COFFEE SNOB
Lost shell due to illness (from their Zizi)
Styx:
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Second oldest/second tallest
The affair child TM (this is unfortunately true!)
Their animal was a hyena and boy they laugh like one
THEY ARE ALSO A DHAMPIR (male vampire and human woman) or the rough equivalent. the trait of fucked up bones appears in frame issues x2!
used to do ballet for fun in italy, fell and fucked up their foot/leg so bad they had to stop (it also required a transtibal amputation)
they have a wheelchair for bad days, but often use forearm crutches, or a cane + prosthetic (styx and graham and the foreman in the prosthetic legs club)
NO ACCENT BTW. i cannot stress this enough their voice is a dead monotone with no accent or inflection
Surname is Showalter, despite relation to Charon
DOES IN FACT DRINK BLOOD SOMETIMES. and has a life drain ability (i think it should be through their voice and this is my HC list even though i share many w/ my friend)
Showed a few symptoms of the same illness and skipped right to "get this thing off me NOW before it gets worse"
Nix:
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The forgotten middle sibling (REAL) who has a passive cheat that makes people unable to sense their presence (They are a cognitohazard)
This can be rectified if you're around them a lot, but it fucks up your brain forever pretty much. They can also amplify the effect to sneak around if they want (but machines like automatic doors and cameras also forget they exist)
Almost perfectly identical to the head attorney, even when they had shells
They use this to fill in for Nyx (originally when Nyx was too ill to work even after using sick days) and they now intend to go to law school
They're why everyone hates lawbots bc they would give fake CnD's and court orders
Weird bird/cat/bat hybrid thing. cat with feathery wings (and they have white patches which are remnants of their freckles)
Surname is Christy
my freak child with an eating disorder (due to derealization and the feeling that "well im not real why bother" yeah cosmos doesnt take kindly to that.)
Weird luck powers. once made buck roll BAR 7 times in a row just by looking at him weird
Also lost shell bc of illness.
Kerberos:
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doberman pinscher (parents weren't going to straighten their ears but i assume another family member did under the guise of getting their ears pierced. sickness and despair in the world
SO PROTECTIVE OF HYDRA FOR REASONS THAT ARE SO FUCKED
conspiracy theorist (but not in a fucked up way, in a funny way. like cryptid hunting) (theyre also so oblivious. we had a joke about them asking THE PERSON THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT about... well themself, without knowing)
One time Hydra got dumped on their doorstep at 8 years old and they never got a moment of peace since (they were like idk 10? 11??)
can obtain messages thru electronic signals ("MOOOM THE TV CALLED ME A BITCH AGAIN" "lol youre so imaginative")
Surname is Showalter
GOT HIT BY A TRAIN AND THEIR SHELL BROKE APART
HYDRA:
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IDIOT BLACK CAT ENERGY
The shortest and youngest, but oh so feral
talked to god once we dont need to focus on that
IMMIGRATED ON ACCIDENT I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH
kind of a brat but in a PTSD way (neglectful/abusive parents)
"mommy why do you have beef with me im 4"
had 2 imaginary friends growing up, a greek fish who's name translated to Jabberwocky, and a talking house (both are in fact real dw about)
their parents didnt wanna immigrate but they were 8 and didnt understand so after a tantrum their parents packed a suitcase and dropped them with kerberos
they also didnt get a chance to learn english for for like the first few months they only spoke italian (and some greek)
vessel of fate sort of.
Surname is... well they legally changed their name to be.... hydra Hydra. after the mario movie (the live action one) where mario's surname is also mario. theyre wacky.
lost their shell in a drunk driving accident (the designated driver was drunk and drove them right into another car head on)
anyways have some funneys
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westopoliscity · 2 years
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Honestly I find it funny how so often I question if im really. Arospec when. So often I just completely fail in anyway at being anything close to allo. I faked crushes in school to fit in. I hated jokes about dating my friends. If theres romance in a book im reading that I did not expect romance in I will immediately despise it (only sometimes do I let it slide) and when every other book Ever has romancd. Well. Also I still don't understand what the fuck romance is even supposed to be so.
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lonlonranching · 9 months
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ok venting bc i dont have therapy until friday tw: weird dudes being creeps, drinking, idk people not respecting me being aro
oh im losing my mind actually. told some dude i thought i was becoming friends with im aromantic today after he asked my sexuality (which, first of all, thought that was weird, but figured it was important to tell him in case he was interested)
he was interested. literally responds “interesting” when i tell him. couple hours pass. he tells me hes crying at work. i assume its a work related thing so i make a joke about the downtrodden proletarian struggle. he goes on to send me mass amounts of texts basically saying (paraphrasing) he got his hopes up for a crush that isnt reciprocated and now hes empty. then tells me hes day drinking and just weeping. i dont know what to fucking say so im just like im sorry. reassures me he still wants to continue being friends. bunch of other stuff. i dont text back right away (still havent bc im still figuring out what TO say) and hes like can you text me back so i dont think you hate me. this is unhinged behavior actually and heres why:
i understand someone you like not liking you back sucks. its even fair to shed some tears over it. but its completely inappropriate to make them feel guilty about it? to really hound into them that basically they hurt you emotionally because they didnt satisfy the reason behind you talking to them for the last couple weeks. because of how my own fucking brain and heart works. what the actual fuck is wrong with people.
also it sucks. bc im not fucking dead? wtf? you can have just as meaningful friendships as one can have meaningful romantic relationships. im fucking tired of people not understanding that. im sooo fucking tired of having to make others comfortable at the cost of my own comfort. thats what i did for years in so many ways, but especially around allo people interested in dating me. everything about this conversation made me not want to talk to this person anymore.
completely fucking ridiculous. people dont owe you your own feelings if they dont feel the same. deal with them accordingly.
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somethingclever666 · 2 years
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the sad thing is i feel like being acearo keeps me from having close friends, too
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somuch-4-stardust · 3 years
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my friends when they say 'i hate straight ppl lol' 'i hate cis people' 'cishets are so stupid': lol haha so true
my friends when i say 'lol allo people suck': this is a personal attack on me and you cant say that because......... its different....................
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a small confession i have to make, im ace and im very confident in it but i like sex and masturbation and its something i want to do with a future partner. however, so far all of my friends who i told i was ace i never talked about sexual stuff until i got closer to them and whenever i did suddenly they kept telling me im not ace (they were all allo) and they dont understand me and i had to even end friendships cuz they turned extreme in trying to invalidate and change me instead of just listening to me. i hate that restraint on my feelings so much, its as if i as an ace person am not allowed to be sexual cuz people have so much stigma around asexuality. and its especially hurtful how someone close to you doesnt want to talk to you about sex (aside the act i also think fiction and jokes are fun and i have a dirty sense of humor) cuz they simply assumed you are traumatized? so sometimes i honestly wish i wasnt ace. or at least, never tell anyone im ace again cuz im going to have sex anyway right? i wonder if anyone else on the spectrum feels the same cuz i sure do feel very alone and misunderstood
Yeah, allo people do not get to decide who's ace or not. And sex favourable aces have always been a part of the community. I'm really sorry you've had such bad experiences and you've had to cut people out over this, Anon. You didn't deserve those reactions, and it's very reasonable to want to explain to people who are supposed to be friends why a label you use is important to you. And to want to talk about your personal identity and experiences.
I'm going to put this out to followers, does anyone feel similar to this? Anyone have similar experiences? Advice? Please do share if you want to.
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autismvampyre · 3 years
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this is controversial but uhm
i dont like ace ppl who find themselves to be superior to allo ppl. maybe its mostly jokes but i still get the sense that some(obviously not all, i love ace ppl in general yall are great and valid) ace communities are quite condescending and are low-key shaming allosexuals
"ew yall feel sexual attraction? that's gross. i'm just gonna eat cake."
its not just statements like that btw its a matter of tone and context, etc. it just generally carries the message of "allos r gross and sexual im better" which is way oversimplified but you get my point.
i just dont like it, it feels condescending and unnecessary. it just feels awfully similar to purity culture yk. a lot of ppl get shamed for their sexual attraction as it is bc it's considered "the wrong kind" so i dont see why ace ppl who also get shamed by society feel the need to do this.
its probably a very small minority in the ace community, all the ace ppl i know are great. i just cant help but notice the kinda loud minority and i think we should do smth about it
btw if you think asexuality isn't real or valid get tf off my blog. this post is no hate to the ace label its just a criticism of a small number of individuals in the ace community
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