#asexual things

[merely-a-caricature]

Anyone else who thinks people are hotter with their clothes on?!?!!!? Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

[animentality]

[asexuwales]

I remember from before i realised i was asexual and me and some lads were talking about relationships and people cheating and the horrors and i piped up:

"if i had a partner i really wouldnt care at all if they slept with someone else, i dont want to have sex but they might so its easier for them to just fuck someone"

EVERYONES faces dropped in horror,,, thats when i started feeling like there was something wrong with me.

Looking back at it i realise, most asexuals dont see sex as a form of dovotion or an act of love, so to me I interpreted it as the equivalent of "oh they can go tenpin bowling with their mates, i dont care i dont like bowling so it wouldnt be very fun with me but i hope they have fun"

I keep forgetting and seriously sex is taken and given in a allo relationship.

[aceteabag]

An asexual conversation ✨be like✨

movie night

cuddle

pillow fight & jumping around on the bed

read to each other

[jadeleechsupportgroup]

realized i feel the same way about attraction as I do about alcohol. people will go on about how this thing is better than that thing and they like A but not B. whereas to me it's all like drinking nail polish remover.

[scrumptiousfoxglitter]

Signs from when I was younger that maybe kinda sorta should've clued me in on that I'm maybe not as allo as many have anticipated (mayhaps):

• Despite my mother suggesting otherwise, I was able to 'choose' my crushes

• Despite *that,* any option in kiss, marry, kill (or any other variation of it) was just... Wrong

• Any talk of romance and sex outside of a fictional context, and especially if it involved me, felt like a survival scenario

• The sweet childhood memories of me trying to force myself to be attracted to fictional characters (and it 'working')

• The shock and horror I felt when a friend of mine called Scar from The Lion King hot (like, he's not even anthro?)

• The concept of marriage sounding like a survival scenario past the wedding party

•A survival scenario that I, in fact, would consider death over then to even bother actually participating in. Not outright choose it, but I wouldn't rule it out

• Legit cannot (and still can't) fathom what my ideal partner would be (I just listed traits I would want in a buddy ol' pal)

• The reasoning for identifying as pan ("all genders make me feel the same way, so that means I'm attracted to all genders")

• Before that I waited for my first crush to reveal my orientation like sexualities are some box opening

• I AM A CHILD OF GOD, AND THUS CANNOT COMMIT TO DISTRACTIONS FROM OUR LORD'S MESSAGE (exceptions may apply)/hj

[foone]

Sometimes I worry there's a real risk that I'm so into affirming and validating people I know that if I ever do it in person I'll be like "yeah you look great! Your transition is coming along so well! That outfit is totally cute on you!"

And then I'll wake up in their bed the next morning and be like "wait... I'm asexual. Did I just accidentally try to support someone so hard that we ended up fucking?"

And it's like, this is exactly the kind of thing that Nice Guys would do as their pick up technique, but I'm worried both about doing it successfully and about being perceived as attempting it, when my intention is neither. And I'm not sure how to make sure that's clear without just completely avoiding being nice and kind, which is obviously not my interest.

Anyway the only thing that makes me worry less is that I worry so much about this. I figure if I was really a secret Nice Guy trying to charm people into their pants (my pants? What if neither of us are wearing pants?), I wouldn't worry about it so much.

[the99thfanboy]

✨The protagonist doesn’t always need a love interest✨

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Someone sent an ask once about how a Tav could have a successful Asexual (sex repulsed) relationship with one of the companions and how they don't know how that would work when they always felt they couldn't have love without providing sex- even though its what they really wanted.

This broke my heart, and I've thought about it ever since answering. So, here's Part 2!

Romantic love without Sex, Gale and Tav

- Gale uses prestidigitation on Tavs clothes in the morning, warming them up so it's easier to transition out of the cozy blankets and into the day

-Kisses on hands, shoulders, cheeks, nose, forehead. Always soft, short, adoring. Sometimes he brushes his beard over Tavs skin teasingly, just to get a giggle out of them with the tickle of it

- Makes their favorite foods as often as possible, pays careful attention to their likes and dislikes and even keeps a notebook

- Dates on The Weave, magical illusions beyond Tavs wildest dreams. In fact, the two spend long hours laying in each other's arms talking about dreams and fantasies. Gale conjures them up, and never misses a detail.

- Shared baths. Washing each other's bodies, hair. Incredibly intimate but in a different way- he takes Tavs fingernails and gently works the dirt out from under each one. Tav scrubs his back where he can't reach and teases him about his lack of flexibility

- Polymorph: Sometimes Tav wants to cuddle, but they feel frightened or pressured (even though there is no pressure) just from their own worries and stresses and past trauma. Gale always offers to transform them or himself into an animal instead, so the two can snuggle without any worries of it being anything more than that.

- verbal reassurances: Gale will always let Tav know, as many times as they need to hear it. They are enough. They are enough. Just the way they are.

[samijami]

Me: *accidentally finds something in Google I shouldn't be looking at*

Google: Condoms can be used on toys-

My thoughts: *a fucking condom on a transformer action figure*

[merely-a-caricature]

What does it mean to be Sex/Romance Ambivalent?

The majority of people on the aspec are aware of favorable, indifferent, etc. when talking about personal stances toward romance/sex. But what about ambivalent? I don’t see people mentioning it nearly as much. I’ll give a brief explanation for those who don’t know what romance/sex ambivalent is.

Since I’m sex-ambivalent, I’ll use my personal experiences as an example. Sex-ambivalent is a personal stance on sex. Your feelings toward sex may fluctuate and be unclear. (Everything I say can be applied to romance-ambivalent as well with some obvious tweaking). Your personal stance could range from the feeling of being indifferent to averse, favorable to repulsed, indifferent to repulsed, whatever. Personally, I fall anywhere from feeling like indifferent to repulsed.

How we feel may vary depending on mood or what types of acts are being performed. For some they may be more comfortable when it’s with fictional characters. Or maybe they’re more comfortable with different people. I may be in a in a mood and be rather repulsed by the idea of anything sexual, but when I’m in a better mood it doesn’t bother me as much. There are many other reason why your feelings towards romance/sex may fluctuate, but this is just a general overview.

I may occasionally read erotic fanfiction and enjoy it, but I can’t even stand the thought of actual p*rn. Sometimes I don’t even want to read any kind do fanfiction like that. While I do enjoy certain types of more erotic fanfiction, I only enjoy it when certain types of acts are performed. Usually I just like a passionate make-out that gets a bit heated. Maybe some stuff that gets more suggestive too. But anything that involves actual more intimate parts on top or bottom gets an immediate “Nope” for me and I suddenly get more uncomfortable. I can’t stand the idea of intercourse or read about, but I can be totally okay with other “less intense” sexual acts.

I also want to point being being greyace is not equivalent to being sex ambivalent. I’m a black stripe ace meaning I experience no sexual attraction, but I am also sex-ambivalent. You can be greyace and sex ambivalent, be black stripe and ambivalent, and even be allo and sex-ambivalent! Ambivalent isn’t just a way to describe aros/aces, it can apply to anyone no matter your orientation.

Romance/sex-oscillating is also another slightly different term that describes how feelings towards the concept of romance/sex fluctuate/change over time. The factor for changing feelings when your oscillating is the passage of time v.s the factor for changing when your ambivalent is going to things like mood, whether or not it’s the written word, fiction or non-fiction, the types of acts being performed, etc. It depends on the person what external factors may change their feelings. Some people use both labels, some people, like me, don’t, and that’s okay. I apologize if I didn’t explain oscillating well enough. I do not identify with the label myself or feel that way, so please tell me if I could improve upon anything said.

All of this to say, some people feelings on romance/sex are very complicated and don’t fit super neatly into one single stance or they can fluctuate over time. You may feel differently about different situations than I do, and that’s okay. All us ambivalents aren’t the same after all!

[everyone-is-emptyy]

[lilyginnyblackv2]

If you view Kazuki and Rei as friends or buddies - as platonic, PLEASE don't reblog my post talking about how I view them as being queer (via a queerplatonic or platonic life partnership reading) and state that you view them as buddies or friends or platonically. My post isn't saying that and I don't like how reblogging it and adding tags like that erases the queer aspect to that post. If you view them as purely platonic friends or buddies, that's cool and fine, just...Make your own post instead about how you view them platonically, as friends, as buddies, etc. Thanks!

[jadeleechsupportgroup]

aromantic and asexual do not mean "blank slate for the orientation i would rather you have"

[jellyfishmakeoutparty]

another post for the sex-repulsed aces!! if you are uncomfortable talking about anything sexual, whether it be jokes or sexual advances from others/your partner(s) or even consuming sexual media, it’s okay that you’re uncomfortable with it! it doesn’t mean that you need to be fixed or force yourself into uncomfortable situations! it doesn’t mean that you’re not worth any interaction or love that you may have been given had you put yourself in those uncomfortable situations. you can be uncomfortable, you can tell others it makes you uncomfortable. you can set boundaries.

being uncomfortable talking about sex in any capacity does not make you childish. it does not make you a prude or a tease, it doesn’t make you immature. it doesn’t mean you’re not competent or that you’re unaware. you don’t need to provide a carefully crafted excuse to not talk about these things. if you are too tired or don’t have the energy to engage with sexual things (conversations, media, etc) then that’s okay! and if you only say things like that so you don’t have to say that you just truly do not want to talk about those things, then please know that you *can* say that. you can say “I’m uncomfortable talking about this, can we please change the subject” or “hey, I’d appreciate a heads up if you want to talk to me about this.” people who really care about you will listen.

you can set boundaries. you deserve to communicate, to be more comfortable and to be heard. you are not worth less because you are sex-repulsed. you are an aware, competent person. you are intelligent and your hobbies and interests matter. what makes you comfortable matters. you deserve as much love and support and comfort as anyone else.

[counting-stars-gayly]

Is it possible to be so physically attracted someone that they give you an asexual awakening? Like hey you’re hot... *squints* why don't I want to fuck you?