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#i hate not being his first everything this is so unfair :)
aliteralsemicolon · 6 hours
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3 days, 4 hours and 55 minutes
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When Spencer doesn’t call at midnight on your birthday like he usually does, you believe he truly wants nothing to do with you because of your fight a few days prior. Until there are two FBI agents knocking on your door, neither of which are your apparently missing boyfriend. 
DISCLAIMER This story is SFW but mentions strong themes. It is intended for mature audiences only.  You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read.  TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of kidnapping, injuries & vague description of panic attack. Proceed at your own risk.  Word count: 8.6K | See notes at end for authors note & spoilers. 
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11:57 PM
Eyes trained on the long red hand, you watch as the minutes spin around the clock hanging on the otherwise-empty wall. A century could’ve passed between the last minute and now. It sure as hell feels like it. 
11:58 PM
The movie meant to keep your mind from replaying the events from a few days ago failed its purpose before you even turned on the T.V. If the time between every minute was a century, then the last time you heard from him must have been an eternity ago. When was the last time you heard from him anyway?
“I don’t want to see you anymore. I can’t even bear to look at your face right now.”
In all your time together, Spencer had never once raised his voice at you. The fact remained even during your worst fight yet. God, how you wished he had yelled at you. Maybe then he would’ve needed less time away from you. 
“Yeah? I don’t want to be near you anyway. Not when you’re being like this!”
He was unfair. So were you. Surely neither of you truly meant what was said. You wanted to be near him so, so badly. Did he really not want to see you anymore? He must not, or Spencer would have returned at least one of the twenty four calls he ignored. 
11:59 PM
It was well-intentioned on your part. The migraines were most likely psychosomatic. Otherwise the MRI scans would’ve picked up on the issue. 
“You think I’m crazy? I am not crazy!”
“Spencer, I’m not implying that you are! I’m saying that it’s probably stress induced-”
“No! No. That’s not what you really think, is it? Go on, say what you really mean.”
“GOD SPENCER! You think that just because your mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, I think you must be one too? You’re completely reaching! You just don’t want to deal with the reality that maybe it is all just in your head!”
12:00 AM
Perhaps he did mean what he said. He’d still call though, right? If not to return one of your voicemails then to wish you a happy birthday? After everything the two of you shared together he should at least call today. 
“Leave. Please.”
“Spencer..”
“Stop. Please. Leave.”
“Wait Spence-”
Unsure of how much longer you could hold out, you uncurl from your fetal position on the sofa and reach over for your phone. Vision peeling from the wall-clock and redirecting to the photo on your lockscreen. How beautiful he looked adorned on your screen. Then again, he always looked beautiful. 
12:31 AM
‘Twelve thirty one’ read the time on your screen. The first thirty one minutes of your birthday were spent replaying exactly what you wanted to avoid. He must’ve fallen asleep. He would never intentionally miss his tradition of wishing you a happy birthday, 12AM, on the dot. “That was before you ruined everything”, your mind began. “You ruined everything”, it repeats over and over in a mantra. 
“He hates me. He would’ve called if he didn’t.” a whisper only for yourself to hear. Minutes passing you by once more as you begin your spiral into doubt and self-hatred. Tears completely stain your skin, clothes, the blanket hugging your legs. Your vision is too blurred to notice it. What you do notice is that you can not breathe. Shit. You can not breathe. 
“Five things” You can almost hear his voice whisper into your mind. “Five things”, you repeat aloud.
“Five things you can see.” As his voice begins to guide, your eyes frantically wander. “The blanket on my lap. My hands curled on top of it. The coffee table in front of me. The T.V playing across from me. The wall-clock hanging just above on the wall behind.”
“Four things you can touch” Not waiting a second before answering to the thought of his voice: “The cushion next to me. The couch beneath me. The sweatshirt I’m wearing. The rings on my fingers.”
“Three things you can hear” Tuning your focus on the sounds around you continue, “The T.V playing. The cars passing by outside. That stupid wall-clock ticking.”
“Two things you can smell” This one was always your least favourite because you had to think the hardest. You could hardly breathe a minute ago and your nose is clogged. How can you smell anything? “I can’t smell anything. I can never smell anything.”
“That’s okay. It’s okay. Just tell me one thing you can taste” . His voice was engraved in your brain. You probably couldn’t forget it if you tried. “Salt.”
Shoulders slumping into your body, you wipe the tears clouding your line of sight and dare to look up at the clock once again. If it could speak it would probably taunt you for your pathetic state. 
12:56 AM
You barely make out the time as your eyes begin to cloud again. At least you can breathe normally now. Except your head is throbbing, your eyes are sore and you’re so tired. Sinking back into your previous fetal position, you feel your body give out. As you drift off, you make one final plea for your sanity: “He probably just fell asleep. He’ll call when he wakes up.”
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The pounding headache was bad enough, but the rapid pounding against your door made you want to shout violently. As if your body was now on auto-pilot, you attempt to jump up from your position on the sofa - only to not so gracefully trip over your blanket and almost face plant into the coffee table. “Fuck-AH-bitch”, you grumble just as you manage to catch yourself. “I’m coming in just a minute!” Yelling for the very impatient recipient at the other side of your door. You quickly give the clock a glance before making your way to the hallway mirror. 
2:07 PM
You aren’t vain, you’re just a decent enough human to save the person outside your apartment a jumpscare from your post-ugly-crying state. When you stood in front of the mirror and actually saw yourself for the first time today, you didn’t believe there was anything you could do to save that person. That person could be Spencer. So you gave it an attempt, regardless, quickly brushing your hair out with your fingers and wiping the dried tears from your face. Finally shuffling to the door, you take a deep breath as you unlock it. He probably just showed up instead of calling. At least that’s what you wanted to believe.
“Oh. Derek? JJ?”, instead you find two of his friends and FBI profilers, who definitely caught the disappointment in your voice. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey Pretty Girl. Any chance Pretty Boy is somewhere behind you?” Morgan asks, slightly concerned by your poorly concealed state.
“Hi, sorry, no, he’s not here.” You blurt out as you make eye contact with your nosy neighbour passing by. You consider inviting the agents inside for privacy, but remember that your living room shares the same messy look as you and abort that thought. 
“Can we come inside?” JJ asks for you, also noticing the unwanted eavesdropper.
“Um, sure”,  you hesitate, clearly embarrassed. “Excuse the mess, I wasn’t expecting company.” The agents share a look that you miss and follow behind as you quickly begin to tidy up a little. 
“Hey, are you okay?” JJ follows up. 
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Why are you looking for Spencer here?” You were deflecting. She definitely knew that you were deflecting, but didn’t push further and for that you were grateful.
“He’s not at work and he’s not picking up his cell. So we thought he might be with you.” Morgan answers you, taking a quick glance around. 
“When did you last talk to him?” JJ cuts in.
“Uh, two days ago I think?” Your breath hitches at your first reminder of the fight you had. 
“Two days?” JJ’s brows furrow in a questioning manner towards Morgan, who looks just as confused. “Are you sure?” He chimes in, not waiting for your reply before he dials a number on his phone and rushes off towards your kitchen. 
“Yes, I’m sure…” your eyes follow him as he disappears and quickly snap your attention back towards the blonde woman in front of you. “JJ what’s going on?” 
“Exactly what time did you last see him?” She ignores your question. The slight panic in her voice is contagious and begins to shift into you. “Well I don’t know the exact time, but I’d guess some time just before midnight? When did you last see him?” 
Before she can answer, Morgan calls your name as he walks back in. “Get dressed. You’re gonna need to come back to The Bureau with us.” 
“The Bureau? Okay, seriously guys, what’s going on?” 
“I’ll explain later. JJ and I are gonna wait here while you get dressed okay?” His tone was assertive. 
“No, you’re going to explain right now actually, what the fuck is going on?” But you were too worried to care about his tone. 
He took a deep breath, clearly frustrated. “Spencer’s been missing for two days. ” Realisation spreads across JJ’s face as she puts the pieces together, “ And I think you might’ve been the last person to see him.”
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3:42 PM. 
You were currently sitting alone in one of the interview rooms at the FBI Headquarters, phone in hand, repeatedly checking the time. Morgan and JJ gave you time to clean up and get dressed before leaving your apartment. None of you uttered a single word on your way here and JJ led you into this room, telling you to get comfortable and to let her know if you needed anything. 
Somebody was supposed to come in and interview you, but you had been waiting for at least twenty minutes now. The room itself was mostly empty, except for two muted couches in the middle facing each other, separated by a small table. An old rug laid under the setting and a couple of stock pictures were hung on the walls. You had taken JJ’s invitation and claimed a spot in the corner seat of one of the couches, facing the door, but sitting as far away from it as you could. 
The air conditioner was set at room temperature but everything felt cold. Spencer was missing and you were definitely the last person to see him. You felt like the worst person in the world right now. The man that you loved more than anything in the world was missing and the last thing you ever said to him was that you didn’t want to be around him. 
What did missing even mean in this situation? Did he just decide to up and disappear? That would be believable if he was anybody else, but this was Spencer. He would still say goodbye to his friends before leaving. Friends who were also his coworkers. Coworkers at his extremely dangerous job. If Spencer was missing then it wasn’t because he chose to be. Which means that there’s a strong possibility that he’s really hurt, or dead.
Your mind was filled with so many concerns and had you not heard the door handle click, you probably would’ve driven yourself into another panic attack. A raven-haired woman walks into the room and takes a seat opposite to you on the couch across yours. 
“Emily!” 
“Hey, how are you holding up?” 
“Have you found Spencer? Is he okay-” The questions begin piling out of you.
“Woah, take a deep breath okay.” She cuts off your worrisome ramble before it begins. 
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” You cry out in frustration before catching your tone. You take a short, deep breath and continue, “I’m sorry. I’m just really worried okay. I’ve been here for god knows how long and nobody will tell me anything and I just really need to know if Spencer’s okay.”
Emily slightly tilts her head as she looks at you, slightly narrowing her eyes in sympathy. “It’s okay, I understand. You feel really isolated right now because you don’t know what’s going on,” she leans in a little “but the truth is, we don’t entirely know what’s going on either. All we know is that Spencer hasn’t been to work in two days and you were the last person to see him.”
You stare back at her with an apologetic look and the two of you share a brief silence of understanding. As worried as you were right now, you had to remember that Emily and everybody else in the BAU were also extremely worried. You nodded, not saying anything.
“I need you to tell me about the last time you saw him." She’s the first to break the silence.
Instead of simply responding, you stare at her blankly. You opened your mouth to speak, but no sound would come out. It was like you physically couldn’t respond. You couldn’t even let yourself think about the last time you saw him. The guilt was overbearing, it was pushing tears to well in your eyes. Sighing, you take a gulp and try to get yourself together. Eyes wandering everywhere except towards Emily.
“You okay?” She questions for the second time, giving you the same narrow-eyed look as before, but this time there’s concern behind her eyes.
You try to respond but all you can do is bite the inside of your cheek. Emily’s presence was a welcome distraction from the current situation, until it wasn’t a distraction anymore. She’d unknowingly pushed you back into the headspace you desperately needed to stay out of to keep composed. It wasn’t her fault, you knew she was just doing her job. However, right now you desperately needed her to go away or you were going to completely break down.
Then for the first time in days the universe took pity on you. It leaned into the room in the form of one colourful Penelope Garica, giving you a rushed greeting and ushering Emily out of the room.
“Hey Em, sorry to interrupt, but we need you in the conference room. By that I mean like yesterday.” Garcia turned towards you and squeaked a sad “Good to see you again, I wish it was under different circumstances.” before disappearing. Emily drops a quick “Excuse me” as she gets up and disappears after her.
You knew she would be back. For now, you had time to calm down and you were extremely grateful for that. Taking deep breaths, you check your phone again. There on your screen was Spencer, smiling back at you brightly. You glance at the time again.
4:03 PM
Your eyes instantly land back on his face. They must have stayed staring for a while; before you knew it Emily had re-entered the room. “What’re you doing there?” The sudden interruption from her voice pulled you out of your trance. “Huh? Oh-Sorry, I was just checking the time.” A half-lie. “It’s 4:17.”
No verbal response. Her only response was a look you couldn’t entirely make out as she took a seat in her previous place. “Emily, is everything okay? Did something happen?” 
“I need to tell you something and you need to listen to the full thing, okay? Spencer’s been kidnapped.” She nervously bit her lip as she broke the news to you. “Garcia pulled a recording from a surveillance camera on the street outside your apartment building.”
“What..” You interrupted, unintentionally. “What do you mean kidnapped? Outside my apartment?”
“Look. I won’t lie to you, this is bad. You were the last person to see Spencer and then he’s taken from outside your apartment-”
“Wait a minute, are you telling me that I’m a suspect?” The second time you cut her off, she leans forward and takes your hand in hers. “Listen to me. The whole thing okay? No interruptions.” Her patient tone gives you some comfort. You nod, giving her the go ahead to continue. 
“Now, in normal cases, those closest to the victim would be looked at as initial suspects. But this is not a normal case. You aren’t a suspect but you might be the key in finding him. I’m going to play the recording for you in just a minute and I need you to tell me if you recognise anything. Before I play anything though, we’re going to have to run a cognitive interview and recall your last day with Spencer. I understand that it may be hard, but if you want to help find Spencer, you’re going to have to.”
As your mind processes her words, your hand attempts to close into a fist and squeezes hers. “Emily, I can’t” are the only words you can bring yourself to say.
“Why?” She’s quick to ask in surprise. 
“Because it’s horrible, Emily. The last thing we did was fight. The last thing I told him was that I didn’t want to be around him.” You spit out before you can stop yourself. 
The woman sighs as she mumbles your name, “You can’t possibly blame yourself for this. All couples fight. You couldn’t have known this would happen. I promise you, no matter how bad you think it is, it really cannot be worse than not finding Spencer.”
Her words are blunt, but her voice is empathetic. It’s just what you needed to hear to break out of your ego. “Okay, what do you need?”
“I need you to close your eyes okay. Just listen to the sound of my voice as I guide you.” The brunette instructs. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. “Think back to that day. What were you doing when you first saw Spencer?”
“We met at our favourite café after he got home from work. He had missed our date the night before and wanted to make it up to me. I was checking the time when I heard him call out my name from behind me.” You begin to recall.
“Okay, you turn around to see him. What’s happening around you? Is it busy?” 
“No, it’s actually really quiet compared to usual. There’s maybe four or five other people here besides us.”
“What was Spencer like? His behaviour, was he acting like he normally does when you’re together?”
“He was pretty normal at first. He just looked tired, more than he usually does. But it wasn’t until we started talking that I noticed that something was off.”
“What was off?”
“He just wasn’t present like he usually was. I could tell that he wasn’t feeling great, so I insisted we go back to his place. It was closer than mine.”
You continued recalling the events of the night. When you turned on the light as you entered his apartment, he hissed slightly. That’s when you realised what was going on. He admitted that his migraines were back after some pushing. You asked him if he’d gone to the doctors and he told you how they’d found nothing again. You sat him down on the couch, got him some painkillers and brewed some tea for him. He began ranting about how there had to be something wrong. That’s when you suggested that the migraines could be stress induced. The two of you began arguing not long after that. 
“Spence, have you, maybe, considered that the migraines are psychosomatic? Probably from all the stress you face at work?”
“What does my job have to do with this? What are you saying?”
“I’m just saying that you have a stressful job. It can take a pretty heavy toll. Stress is a common factor for migraines.”
“No, not like this. I just need to find another doctor. One that can actually help.”
“How many doctors will you see before you finally understand that it’s in your head?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. I’m sorry, I should have worded that better.”
“You think I’m crazy? I am not crazy!”
“Spencer, I’m not implying that you are! I’m saying that it’s probably stress induced-”
“No! No. That’s not what you really think, is it? Go on, say what you really mean.”
“What? No. That’s not at all what I’m saying.”
“But it’s what you’re thinking”
“No, it’s what you’re thinking, Spencer.”
“Don’t hold back now, just come out and say it.”
“GOD SPENCER! You think that just because your mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, I think you must be one too? You’re completely reaching! You just don’t want to deal with the reality that maybe it is all just in your head! … I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” 
“Leave. Please.”
“Spencer..”
“Stop. Please. Leave.”
“Wait Spence-”
“I don’t want to see you anymore. I can’t even bear to look at your face right now.”
“Yeah? I don’t want to be near you anyway. Not when you’re being like this!”
Emily’s hand on your shoulder pulled you out of your head, “Hey, it’s okay. Take a deep breath for me.” And so you do, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Once she’s sure you're calm, she leans back in her seat and continues, “You’re doing great. I need you to go back to the café. Was there anything or any one out of place?” 
You think back. You and Spencer were sitting just by the entrance. There was another couple ordering at the counter. You could smell flowers. Not the nice, light, floral kind of scent. It was the loud, head-ache inducing, overpowering roses kind. It was coming from your left, where there were two old ladies sitting not too far from your table, lost in their own conversation. Behind them, in the far left corner, there was a man sat glaring at Spencer. You couldn’t really see the man that well but, nothing felt out of place. 
“No.” You mumble in disappointment, unable to remember anything out of the ordinary. Wait. The man in the corner. “Yes, yes there’s some guy. He’s barely in my vision, but he was glaring at Spencer. I made eye contact with him once as I entered but I didn’t think anything of it.”
“I need you to really think hard,” Emily urges, “What can you remember about this man? Any distinct details?”
“Um, he was dressed in dark clothing and wearing a beanie. There isn’t really anything that stands out. I’m sorry Emily.”
“No, it’s okay you did great. You can open your eyes now.” You do so, greeted by the sight of Emily across from you fidgeting with the tablet in her lap. “I’m going to show you the recording and I need you to tell me if you recognise anything from it.” 
She passes the tablet over and you click play. It’s a little blurry but you can see Spencer walking on the street outside your apartment building. It looks like he’s making his way over to your place. A man shows up out of, seemingly, nowhere and bumps into him. Spencer appears to become drowsy, unable to coordinate his movement at all. Thirty seconds later, a black van pulls up and that same man from before yanks your boyfriend into the van before it drives off. 
Your stomach drops. “Fuck, Emily! He was right there. He was right outside my apartment. They took him…I should’ve…oh my god..” If you thought you were gonna have a panic attack before, you were in for a heart attack now. 
Emily tries to call your attention using your name as she grabs hold of your hands, “You need to take some more deep breaths okay, panicking now is not going to help.” She’s right. Spencer has already been kidnapped, panicking isn’t going to bring him back. The video replays in your head, you recognise something.
“Wait Emily..the man - that man from the café. That’s the same man. The one who bumped into Spencer. He’s wearing the same clothes and everything. Oh my god, was he following us the whole time?” The realisation seeps through your body and shivers run down your spine. Spencer was being watched the entire time you were together. “Why did they wait? Why didn’t they just take me out and then kidnap Spencer?” 
“I don’t know the answer to that, but you’ve helped a lot. Now I’m going to go and tell the rest of the team what you’ve told me, okay? But you need to stay here.” 
“Why? I can’t just wait here forever, how is that gonna help?” you question. You couldn’t just sit here alone with your thoughts, you needed to get out. 
“Those men that took Spencer, they clearly know about you. This puts you in danger and we don’t know what their plan is. Here is the safest place for you to be. I’m going to send an agent to sit outside that door,” She points at the brown door that serves as the only entry and exit to the room you’re currently in, “His name is Agent Anderson. You tell him if you need anything at all, but you need to stay here. Please.”
You watch her stand up hurriedly and head for the door. You know she’s right. They can’t search for Spencer if they also have to worry about your safety. Getting Spencer back was the most important thing. “Okay.” You agree. “But Emily,” she turns back to look at you from the doorway, “Please bring him back, okay?” 
“We will.” She Promises. It may be an empty promise. There’s no guarantee that he’s even alive, but it's enough to keep you hoping for now. Spencer has to be okay. 
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Spencer’s POV
It’s not very often a person finds themselves escaping death’s grasp. The chances of the same person escaping death twice is even less likely. Yet here I am, in the back of an ambulance, on my way to the hospital, having escaped death for the second time in my life. Hopefully, it won't cost me an addiction this time. “Rossi this is ridiculous, I’m fine!” I insisted to the older man next to me, looking over me like a watchdog. I was already aware that my injuries were serious enough to warrant a hospital visit, but I hoped that the EMT’s would ignore that regardless. I need to get back to her, I just want to hold her as soon as possible. “Sir, you need to lie back down” I hear a voice instruct from my right. Then I hear Dave from my left.
“Kid, you are not fine. The sooner we get you to the hospital the sooner you can leave. Now lie back down and let the medics do their job.” How am I supposed to stress the seriousness of the situation in my drugged up state? My girlfriend is in danger! “No Rossi, I need to see that she’s alright, you don’t understand. They got me from right outside her apartment, they know about her!” Why doesn’t he understand? “Reid, relax. She’s been at headquarters since yesterday afternoon. She’s fine. She’ll meet you there, Anderson’s driving her there as we speak.” I have to count on this reassurance for the time being, because I was clearly not getting my way anytime soon. 
Wait yesterday? “No Rossi, that's not right. What day is it? What time?” Guilt surged my veins, did I really miss the most important day of the year? “It’s Friday. Wait no, Saturday now, about uhhh,” he paused “1:43 AM.” No, no, no. “Saturday? She spent her birthday at headquarters? That wasn’t the plan!” I desperately needed to explain something to Rossi, but I couldn’t find the right words. I couldn’t even fully remember what I needed to explain. “Okay, Sir, I’m going to have to inject you with a light dose of tranquillisers if you don’t calm you down.” I hear the voice on my right say. 
“No, don’t touch me! Get away from me! Rossi-” My objections are interrupted by Rossi on the left again “Kid, you’re heavily drugged right now and you’re not making sense. You need to calm down. Just do as the nice lady says.” I’m entirely perplexed. What lady? And where am I right now? I try to make sense of my situation but my senses are suddenly taken over by a strong sense of drowsiness. I feel at peace, but something has to be wrong because I can hear rapid beeping behind me. “Sir, you need to keep your eyes open, do not fall asleep!”
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Your POV
Somebody’s hand hesitantly shaking your shoulder wakes you up. You slowly open your eyes to see Agent Anderson crouching in front of you. Before he can get a word in edgewise, you start throwing out questions at the poor man and rush to sit up-right. “Agent? What happened? Did they find him? Is he okay?” The rapid fire of questions knocks your own breath out of your lungs and forces you to pause for a deep breath, allowing Anderson to cut in. “They found him! I’m not entirely sure of his condition, but he’s on his way to the hospital and so is the team. I can drive you so you can meet them there.” He stands up and walks towards the door, holding it open for you.
“Yes! Please! Let’s go!” You don’t even hesitate as you respond, jumping up from your seat and practically running towards the door. The journey from the building, to the car, then to the hospital is another blur. Spencer fills your mind, as usual, while your eyes are fixated on the time displayed on the dashboard. You watch the minutes pass the whole ride. ‘2:13 AM, 2:14 AM, 2:15 AM, 2:16 AM’ and finally as you arrive at the hospital:
2:17 AM
“You head on in, I’m going to park and follow behind you.” Anderson breaks the streak of silence. The car barely comes to a stop before you jump out and make a bee-line for the doors. You probably look like a maniac running up to the reception desk. “Hi Ma’am, how can I help you?” The receptionist asks unfazed, probably used to seeing maniacs like you. “Spencer Reid. That’s the patient's name. Where is Spencer Reid?” You pester urgently. “Just a moment please.” The receptionist smiles as she begins to type on her keyboard. She turns back to you after a few seconds, instructing you on where to go. “Thank you!” You don’t even blink after she’s done speaking and immediately head towards where you're guided. 
As you enter the meeting room, you’re greeted with the faces of his team from the BAU. “Hi! There you are!” Garcia is the first to notice you, coming in for a hug. “Hey, how is he?” you ask hugging back, no time for proper pleasantries. The rest of the team start making their way up to you one by one for a quick greeting too. “We don’t know yet, the doctor should be out soon to let us know.” Derek, the last one to hug you hello, answers. That’s never good to hear, nervousness covering your face. “Don’t lose hope, he’s going to be just fine!” Rossi interjects your train of thought before it can even begin. Damn profilers. Anderson, true to his word, shows up too. 
Feeling slightly ashamed for your rushed behaviour you apologise and thank him for his patience. He assures you that there’s no need and he understands, before Hotch sends Anderson home for the weekend. It seems like everybody in that room takes turns sitting and pacing around. Everyone except you. Your eyes are glued to the clock at the entrance, occasionally making small talk with the others. It’s officially been three excruciating days since you’ve last seen Spencer and even now, as he’s just a few metres away, you’re unable to see him. “Happy belated birthday.” Rossi whispers, taking a seat next to you. You turn to face him, slightly stunned. “Sorry?” 
“I said happy belated birthday.” He repeats. You can only return a puzzled look, unable to muster the common ‘thank you’. “Spencer. He told me, in the ambulance.” He answers your unasked question. A single tear manages to escape your eye before you sniffle and re-adjust to compose yourself. 
“How bad is it?” Your boyfriend's condition is your immediate concern. 
“You know it’s funny,” the old man ignores your question, knowing it’s better to not worry you further, “the whole ride here the kid would not stop going on about needing to be there for you. It’s like he was unable to comprehend anything in regards to himself. And now here I am, talking to you, and it’s like you’re unable to comprehend anything that doesn’t concern him.” He takes an almost dramatic pause so he can look you in the eyes, like he’s trying to pass on an unspoken message. Whatever that message was, you didn’t understand it. 
He knew you didn’t, because he continued, “even in extreme situations like this one, you think about each other before you think of yourselves. You truly love each other. So, whatever happened before this, let it go. Feeling guilty about it won’t help.” With that he got up from his seat and headed towards the vending machine. Damn profilers. You don’t have a chance to linger on his advice for too long before the doctor shows up. “Spencer Reid?”
Everybody gathers almost immediately around the doctor, waiting to be updated. “He’s got a broken rib, minor concussion, a few deep bruises, specifically around the abdomen, and other minor cuts and bruises. Other than that he’s been heavily sedated, but he’s going to be fine. He’ll be knocked out for a couple of hours, but he’ll be just fine. You’re welcome to see him now, but only two at a time please.” Almost immediately as the doctor leaves, the group turns to look at you and JJ pipes up first. “Would you like to go in first?” 
You couldn’t wait to see him before, but now the nerves were getting to you. “No. You guys go in first.” 
“Are you sure?” Emily asks. 
“We’re allowed two at a time, you know.” Derek reminds you.
“Yeah! The rest of us can take turns while you sit with him!” Garcia pipes up, softly.
“No, come on guys. He’s just as important to you as he is me. Besides I’ll be here for a while, the rest of you need to get home. I can see him after.” You reason. 
“Okay. If you insist. But if you change your mind, let us know.” Emily nods, as she begins to head towards Spencer’s room.
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You were sitting in the waiting room once more, while the team had taken turns going in and out of Spencer’s room. Eyes trained on the clock, again. 
4:31 AM
Most of the team had headed home by now. You were honestly surprised they stayed as long as they did, knowing how late it was and how exhausted most of them were. The only people left besides you were Derek and Hotch. Jack was away at a sleepover so Hotch decided to stay longer, feeling responsible for Spencer. “What’s going on in that mind, Pretty Girl?” Derek now sat across from you.
“Derek!” you jumped slightly, not expecting him. “Nothings going on. Why? Is Spencer okay?” 
“You know you keep doing that. Deflecting.” He doesn’t let you get away with it this time. 
“I’m not.” You persist. 
“You are. Look, Spencer’s one of my closest friends and by extension you’re also my friend. I’m not going to force you to talk about it if you don’t want to, but just know that I am here to listen.” He persists harder.
“Derek, I just…I don’t know what to say. Not just to you, but to him. The last time I saw him, we fought. He said he didn’t want to see me anymore. I know it’s all in my head, but I can’t stop thinking about if he meant it. What if he truly doesn’t want to see me?”
“Woah, woah! Pretty Girl, c’mon. He’s crazy about you, you know that. You’re practically all he ever talks about. I can promise you that no matter how bad you think that fight was, he won’t let it ruin what you have.” The reaffirmations from Emily, Rossi and now Derek were honestly unnecessary. You were a rational person, you already knew everything they’d said to you. The emotions just overpower your rationality at times but hearing those closest to Spencer confirm was how you knew for sure that it’s true. “Thank you, Derek” You responded with a small, but confident smile.
“He’s awake.” Hotch alerts the two of you. FBI training must be heavy on sneak attacks because these fucking profilers had unbelievably light steps. You turn to face the usually monotone man and instead, catch him sporting a relieved smile. He meets your eyes directly as he speaks, “He’s asking for you.” A hopeful huff leaves you as you stand up. “Go get 'em beautiful!” Derek encourages. You thank both him and Hotch, making your way to Spencer's room. You take a deep breath as you approach the door, but before you enter, you make a final note of the time.
4:55 AM
“Hi Angel.” Spencer’s voice weakly acknowledges your arrival in an instant. Your heart feels a mix of hurt and relief at the sight in front of you. His figure’s confined to the gurney and linked with tubes to an IV drip. With every step bringing you closer to him you’re able to make out more of his injuries. Bruises on almost every part of his visible skin, an especially large one covering the surface around his cheekbone, eye and temple. Cuts on his nose, lips, arms - you bite your lip trying to hold back the tears welling you eyes again. “Please say something.” He begs, matching the same pained look as you. 
Rossi’s words were starting to make sense. While you looked at your lover in guilt over his marred state, he looked back at you with guilt for worrying you. “You look like hell.” Maybe not the most sensible thing to say right now, but you didn’t want to cry and worry Spencer further. The poor attempt to lighten the mood showed some success because you earned a light chuckle from your boyfriend. The atmosphere didn’t stay light for long though, the two of you almost instantly falling silent as you stared into his beautiful brown eyes. “I’m sorry.” 
The words fall out from both of you simultaneously. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Angel. You were right and I was being unfair.” Spencer intertwines his fingers with yours, immediately rejecting your apology. “You were,” you agree “but I was also unfair. I shouldn’t have said what I did.” He tries to sit up, wincing from the unanticipated sharp sting. This earns him a soft reprimand from you, reminding him of his broken rib and you instead use the remote to shift the gurney into a position comfortable for him to lean against. “You need to be more careful!” You whine.
“I know, I know. I just, I want to hold you.” He whines back, staring at you with his dangerously powerful puppy eyes. Those eyes were actually dangerous, you had to internally fight yourself to not give in. You opted to meet him half-way and lightly wrapped your arms around his head for a quick hug. “Don’t look at me like that. There will be no holding unless the doctor clears it.” You whispered against his hair before pulling away, not wanting to accidentally hurt him more. “Technically I’m a doctor-” He tries to protest, but you beat him to it. “A medical doctor, Spencer.” 
You pull the chair from behind so you can sit as close to him as possible and take his free hand into yours, holding it tightly. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.” You look at him in disbelief as the words leave his mouth. “Spencer, forget the stupid birthday please! Actually, can we just stop with the apologies? I’m just glad that you’re okay- sort of.” Your eyes scan over his injuries again as you say the last sentence. “Stop. Don’t do that. I’m okay, I promise.” It’s more of a request than anything else. He doesn’t like being ‘babied’ or pitied. “Angel look here.” his fingers guide your face to meet his eyes.
“I’m okay. These will heal, but please don’t give me that look. I know you want to talk about it and we will, later. Right now I just want to talk to you about anything else.”
“I know you do, it’s just hard Spencer. There’s so much to say and I was so worried. I spent three days thinking you hated me. Well, technically, I actually spent two days thinking you hated me and the third losing my mind about-” 
“Hey, hey, hey,” he cups your face gently to cut off your ramble and keeps his same soft, whispery tone, “I know. I too spent the last 3 days, 4 hours and 55 minutes regretting the last thing I might have ever said to you was something I never should have said because I was being an ass.” 
“Don’t say that!” You immediately interject, unable to even think about the meaning behind his words. He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, “Shhhh, just listen.” 
“There’s just so much more I have to say. So much more we need to talk about. And right now I just want to talk to you about anything else, even the little things that don’t matter. Especially the things that don’t matter. So please, just tell me about all the pointless things.” His voice cracks slightly at his plea, his gaze connecting so deeply with yours, tears glazing his lashes.
Stupid puppy eyes. There was no fighting against them this time, you gave in. The two of you talked until the medication knocked him out. It was easy like that with Spencer, you never ran out of topics. Nurses went in and out of the room, hours passed by, but you stayed right there next to him. The next few days were spent in the hospital, you only left to get refreshed if somebody from the team was there with Spencer while you were gone. Spencer was asleep most of the time due to the medication. Everybody from the BAU took turns visiting, Garcia always bringing fresh food with her. 
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Before Spencer was discharged, the two of you agreed that it would be best for you to stay with him while he recovered. You wanted to be there for him in case he needed anything and he’d take any excuse to have you near him. It was a smart decision overall, because the broken rib rendered Spencer unable to do almost anything on his own. Which is why you were currently watching him bathe, perched on the edge of his bathroom counter, making sure your boyfriend didn’t accidentally hurt himself further. 
“You don’t have to do this, you know. I’ll be fine.” Spencer insists. “He says, after almost breaking another bone trying to undress by himself earlier.” You snark. 
“I think you’re enjoying this a bit too much.” Amusement surfaces in his voice and it causes you to blush. 
“Careful, handsome, you’re going to work yourself up and end up disappointed.” You successfully fluster him back. The doctor deemed Spencer unfit for any physical activity, much to his dismay. 
“Ughhh,” he groans, dramatically, rolling his head back. “This is so unfai-Ah!” His complaint is cut off by his own shriek while trying to reach the loofah around his back. 
“Shit Spencer!” You panic, hopping off the counter and rushing to his side, grabbing the loofah out of his grasp. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry. I just can’t reach my back, I guess.” 
“That’s literally what I’m here for, dummy. Let me get it.” You shuffle behind him from outside the tub and gently push him forward so you can access his back. 
“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to do this.” There’s a slight hint of embarrassment in his voice. 
“Spencer, love, stop. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Plus, I like taking care of you.” It was true. Doing small things to make his life convenient made you happy. 
“It’s not just because it’s embarrassing. You shouldn’t have to go out of your way for me like this, you have better things to spend your time on.” The insecurity in his words makes your heart okay. Reaching your hand around his jaw, you turn his head back towards you as you lean in to meet his eyes. 
“How can I get it through your thick, beautiful, skull that I want to be here? I want to do this. I want to spend my time with you.” You state matter of factly. He searches your face for any hint of insincerity. Unable to find any, he whispers, “Thank you” and leans in to give you a gentle kiss.
“And plus, you did promise we’d make up for the lost 3 days, 4 hours and 55 minutes when you got discharged.” You jokingly remind him of his words to you in a conversation you shared at the hospital. He chuckled and kissed you once more.
“I will.” A re-affirmation of his promise. “But this doesn’t count.”
“How so?” You question. “We’re here together aren’t we?”
“Yes, but you deserve more than this.” He declared. “I’m going to make it up to you.”
“Spencer, you don’t have to make anything up to me. We have to make up for lost time.” 
“Let me make it up to you anyway?” He flashes those damn eyes at you again.
“Just get better first okay, then we’ll talk. Plus you owe me a conversation before anything else.” Normally Spencer was the one who’d have to remind you of things, but today it was the other way around. 
“I guess I do.” He sighs in defeat, “Before we do that I have to tell you something.” 
“Yeah?”
“Rossi offered to throw you a party for your birthday and I kind of, maybe, said yes? It was less of an offer and more of a statement if I’m honest, but I thought you’d like it because you’re a huge fan of his books and always wanted to see his mansion. There’s tons of space for your family and friends too and-”
You cut off his speech with a kiss. “That’s wonderful Spencer, thank you. Tell Rossi I said thank you as well.”
“You’re not disappointed? I know you prefer smaller celebrations and originally I had something else planned but given my current state it’s a bit hard to go through with those plans.”
“Of course I’m not disappointed. I’d be happy with anything as long as you’re there.” You flash him a grateful, genuine smile. He kisses you briefly. Then again. And again.
“As much as I love kissing you, we need to get you to bed. Come on.” The two of you share kisses, giggles and loving looks, as you help him out of the tub, dry him off and get him dressed. Making your way over to the bed, you first help him settle in before getting into your side. It’s clear that Spencer doesn’t know where to start. 
“Let’s start with that night.” You take the lead. He takes a deep breath as he begins to recount the events. 
“I felt terrible after you left. I never meant any of it and I just, I am so sorry.”
“I know. I am too.” You reassured your lover, not wanting him to bear guilt over it any longer. 
“I was on your way to your apartment to apologise when I bumped into the unsub. The next thing I knew I couldn’t feel my legs and was being thrown into the back of the van.” He couldn’t offer you more than the basic details, due to the classified nature of his job. The unsub wanted revenge because Spencer was the reason they were caught in the first place. “I’m sorry” is how Spencer finished his re-telling. 
“Sorry? Why are you sorry, that’s not your fault.” A light, confused chuckle escapes your throat as you speak.
“Because, I put you in danger. Because this job puts me in danger, which always puts you in danger by extension. You deserv-”
“Stop. Spencer, stop.” You cut him off, afraid of what he was insinuating. “Stop telling me what I deserve. I knew what your job was when I entered this relationship. Don’t.” Tears threatening to spill from you, your fingers digging into your own flesh to try and stop them. Spencer noticed, gently coaxing your fingers away from your palm as he massaged your hand lightly. 
“Angel look at me.” He almost commands. You begrudgingly meet his eyes, holding your breath as you mentally prepare for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me speech’ you’d heard before from others. “What’s wrong?” He questions, not entirely sure as to why you were crying. For a genius he could be really unaware of his wording sometimes.
“Why do you keep saying that?” You’re unable to hold your tears. 
“Because I want you to know that I’m going to do better from now. To give you the ‘better’ you deserve.” He wipes your tears, still holding on to your hand. 
“Then why does it sound like you’re trying to break up with me right now?” You sniffle, squeezing his hand slightly.
“I must really suck at communicating, because that’s the exact opposite of what I’m trying to do.” He uses his hand to gently coax your head towards him so he can kiss you. “I want to move in together. With you.”
“You do?”
“Yes. If there’s anything I’ve realised over the past few days, it’s that I really hate being away from you. I hate not being able to see you, hear your voice, feel your touch.” He gives you another kiss. “I am not going anywhere. And I really hope you don’t either. Move in with me?”
You give him a peck. “Yes.” Another peck. “Yes, Spencer, I’ll move in with you.” A deep, longing kiss. You share a few more kisses and then nestle against him. Both of you laughing. 
The next few hours pass with both of you just enjoying being in each other's arms. Gently stroking the others hair, small kisses here and there, ‘I love you’s’ bouncing off from one another. The 3 days, 4 hours and 55 minutes spent worrying you won’t see each other again seem so silly now that you’ve got everyday to look forward to. 
“Angel?” Spencer’s voice lulls you out from your semi-conscious state. “Hm?”
“Thank you.” On the surface it was just a simple sentence, but his intention was deeper than that. It was a show of gratitude for you choosing him. For staying with him through the hard times. 
“Always.” Your promise that you’d do it again.
“Spencer?” You say after a second. 
“Yes my love?” Spencer replies.
“Thank you too.” 
“Always.”
Both of you fall asleep cuddling not long after. There were still a few things that needed to be worked out, but one thing was for sure, you were going to wake up next to the love of your life the next morning and then every morning after that. You’d truly found your forever person in each other. 
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Spoilers: Hurt, Angst, Comfort, Established Relationship.
AN - First fic I’ve ever written. It’s been in my drafts for so long, I’ve edited it so many times. I hope you didn’t feel too edged because 80% of this is without Spencer scenes (I did and I wrote it).
Feel free to drop helpful criticism, I’m always looking to improve. Remember to stay real and respectful :)
Thank you for reading!
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thevirgodoll · 1 day
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DOLL ANNOUNCEMENT: these dating questions are getting ridiculous! your life should NOT revolve around a man... if you find yourself devoting too much time to a man and his shenanigans, you have got to cut him loose. you have to let a grown man lead HIMSELF into healing... stop trying to do it for him based off of potential - the habits he developed are his own until he decides to do better. you are NOT his therapist.
i'm speaking from experience. like are you enabling the drama because you enjoy the thrill and chaos? are you tolerating it because you conflate abuse with "relationship struggles"? are you crying about it because you fear being alone? it's so, so valid but you have to shift your focus to what you CAN control right now. and you can control how you move on.
i hate to say it, but sometimes WE are the problem. like... some of y'all are dumbing yourself down and ignoring your God given intuition. i'll admit that the cult of domesticity has us fast forwarding to trying to build a home. but with NO foundation? we all need a home, but remember, it starts with the SELF first. if you got no routine, no accountability, no faith... a partner/situationship becomes nearly like a God - your answer to anything and your purpose for everything. and that's unfair to both of you.
you have to dedicate your free time to being a better woman. we gotta touch grass. linkedin, indeed, traveling, self improvement, knowledge, doing silly girl things, devoting time to build your beliefs and morals, following your dreams, reinventing/creating a vision, getting healthy, relearning yourself... i don't know. just stop making excuses and do better. and i'm saying this as your big sister from experience. take a break from dating and focus on you until it's time again.
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lovecrazedpup · 3 months
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i dont want to sleep
#im like a toddler LMAO throwing things around my room bc im so fucking angry and upset#(im throwing a plushie into my bed but still)#i genuinely think i want to breakup like idk this isnt even a joke or looking for reassurance anymore#like maybe im weird for thinking abt a long term relationship and marriage at 18 but ....#we arent ? very compatible ? long term ?#its unfair to him if i keep this going considering hes a bit older than me yk#nvm im writing this out and im crying maybe i DONT want to break up#im tired of overthinking and obsessing over everything . im tired of seeing him as better than me and perfect . i want to be equals#i just want to be normal and to be in a normal relationship where we do normal things#i just want support i want love i want literally ANYONE to tell me that im ok and that im loveable#i hate our stupid time difference and his stupid job i wish i was like this earlier on in the day it is AWFUL being alone#my head hurts and my throat hurts and i hurt#i want to scream and cut and stab someone#i fucking hate her#so much#shes a fucking bitch i wish i could kill her . like genuinely . i want to pull out her teeth lmao if she didnt exist id be happier#GOD i want to stop comparing myself to her and thinking abt them together but ill always be a second experience and its depressing#'youll be my first for anal' yeah great bc thats exactly what i want to fucking hear#not doing much to stop the 'you only want me for sex' thoughts but YEP GREAT THANKS#me : pouring my heart out and trying to say what im thinking !! him : haha yeah sex ! oh also have some inspirational quotes#god just kill me . get me out . i dont want to be here . i dont want to think abt him. i dont want to talk abt him .#i wish we never fucking met ! i wish i never picked up that stupid game#i dont want to lose you though#i hate how attached to him i am . why did you start talking to me again .#shouldve fucking forgotten me while youre fucking your friends and getting high up north island#cant say shit to him though bc itll be the end and ill probably kill myself bc i unfortunately live for him#its over when we meet anyways lol so i got ? 2 months ? 3 months ? of happiness before its gone#i think im gonna do smth bad but i doubt he would care at all . would probably be happy if i die or ghost him .#gives him an excuse to talk to his friends again lol . its so over for me#jamie.txt
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steddiewithachance · 1 year
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"You Should Date My Nephew"
"433-6296". Wayne mouthes to himself. He visualizes the little slip of lined paper that's taped to the wall above their phone at home. 433-6296. He could call. But he wont.
Wayne grunts as he lowers himself to sit on the curb outside the plant. He got off work --he pushes up the sleeve of his jacket to check his watch-- 36 minutes ago. It's 3:36 am and god dammit Eddie how many times did he remind the kid to set his alarm. How many times did Wayne remind Eddie that his truck was in the shop and that he'd need a ride home in the morning. And every single time he'd mention it, Eddie responded "I got it old man! I'll set an alarm" with an exasperated eye roll and would go back to whatever he was doing. Wayne has tried calling the trailer a dozen times already and damn that boy for being such a heavy sleeper.
433-6296. Wayne could probably solve his problem with a single call, but that would be completely inconsiderate and borderline inappropriate, so he wont. A gust of cold November wind hits Wayne unforgivingly in the face and makes his eyes water. He pulls a pack of camels from his chest pocket and with stiff, shaky hands, lights one. 433-6296. He could call or he could walk home. The walk wasn't easy in ideal weather when Wayne was fully rested. Right now it was freezing, Wayne didn't have his good jacket, and he just finished an eight hour shift. 433-6296. Fuck it.
Wayne stands up and hurries toward the phone before he can talk himself out of this. It's insane, and he knows the poor kid barely sleeps as it is. Knows from Eddie that he'll pick up the phone anytime Eddie has a nightmare and drive over to talk him out of the bad dream, keep him company, or fall asleep on the floor of Eddie's bedroom so his nephew doesn't have to go back to sleep alone in a haunted home. 433-6296 Wayne dials and waits with baited breath.
The phone rings a handful of times before a quiet voice greets him on the other side of the line.
"H'llo? Eds?"
"Uh hi Steve. It's Wayne?" Wayne says quietly into the phone. Steve seems to sober immediately.
"Mr. Munson? Is everything okay? Is Eddie okay?"
"Yeah no everythin's fine. I'm sure Eddie's safe and sound at home. Look, I'm real sorry to wake you, kid, and I'm sorry to even be askin' you in the first place. I know it's mighty unfair of me to call at this time but uh- My trucks in the shop and Eddie was supposed to pick me up from work forty minutes ago but I think he mighta slept through his alarm. And it's too far for an old man like me to walk. Was wondering if I might owe you a helluva favor if you could pick me up tonight, son." For a few moments there is silence. Wayne worries he has crossed a line, for a brief moment he fears he might have burnt the most important bridge in Eddie's life. He's immediately regretting waking Steve up for this.
But then he hears the distinct rustling and thump of someone putting on shoes.
"Of course Mr. Munson, I'm leaving now. I'll be there as soon as I can." And Wayne is once again floored by this kid's kindness.
"Steve, thank you. I owe you son. Whatever you need."
"It's no problem! I'll see you soon."
"See you." Wayne mutters in disbelief and hangs up the phone.
And to think... Wayne used to hate Steve. The thing about Steve Harrington is that his name is haunted, in a way. And the thing about Wayne Munson is that he's a stubborn son of a bitch who will hold grudges on Eddie's behalf longer than the kid himself will. There were countless days in high school when instead of shooting through the front door of the trailer after school with a devilish grin and music blasting from his headphones, Eddie would turn the knob slowly and he'd drag himself into the house, giving Wayne a small nod before disappearing into his room quietly. Wayne felt like crying or punching something when Eddie came home in low spirits. He knew how evil the kids at school could be, and he knew the names of all the bad ones. Wayne always gave Eddie 10 minutes of quiet before he'd knock on his door and gently ask if he wanted to talk. It was a routine they had. He'd ask and Eddie would say no. But then like clockwork, Eddie would open up about his day later in the evening usually while they ate dinner and before Wayne left for work. He'd complain about all the kids that made him feel bad: Hagan, Harrington, Perkins, Hargrove, Carver, and so many more.
So imagine Wayne's surprise on March 27, 1986 when he briefly left Eddie's hospital room to get coffee and returned to Steve Harrington, the bully son of Richard and Nicole, sitting next to his nephew's hospital bed. It had been a long week of worrying on Wayne's part, and an emotional 48 hours spent at Eddie's bedside, so Wayne had very little patience for whatever was happening in front of him. In retrospect, Steve Harrington was looking at Eddie... sweet and tenderly, even back then. But in the moment all he could think about was Eddie returning from school with hunched shoulders and his head hung low.
"The hell are you doing here?" Wayne asked using his gruffest and most intimidating voice, arms crossed, standing in the doorway. The way that Steve startled was like nothing like Wayne had ever seen. He jumped a foot into the air and folded into himself.
"Oh! Mr. Munson. I'm sorry I didn't know you were around. Just, uh, didn't want him to be alone in case he woke up." Steve had said rising from his seat. When Wayne didn't budge from the doorway or respond, Steve nervously fiddled with the zipper of his jacket.
"How do you know Eddie?" Wayne asked trying to keep his firm tone.
"From high school sir. But also through a mutual friend. Dustin Henderson? They play DND together. Dustin and I brought him in after we found him like this..." Steve lifted his head again gauging Wayne's still stern expression and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry sir I didn't mean to interrupt anything I'll get out of your hair."
And Wayne wanted to be skeptical of Steve, wanted to accuse him of doing this to Eddie, but the truth is that Steve sounded painfully earnest. And there's no human explanation for the tiny bite marks all over Eddie's body. Wayne stepped out of the doorway and let Steve take a few steps down the hallway before calling out to him.
"Hey, Harrington?" Steve turned around quickly, looking back with a startled expression, maybe surprised that Wayne knew his name at all. "D'ja see what happened? I mean d'ya know anythin about what hurt him?" Wayne asked more softly. Steve looked around the crowded hallway, with nurses buzzing from door to door. Steve shook his head slightly, apologized, and continued down the hallway.
But Steve didn't stay out of his hair for long. The kid was exasperatingly persistent in being around for Eddie. And while Wayne kept a watchful eye on him, he was starting to get the idea that Steve Harrington was not who Wayne thought he was. He cooked for, cleaned after, and tended to Eddie, asking for nothing in return. Often refusing to stay for dinner when Wayne was home, even if he was the one who cooked it, because he didn't want to interrupt family time. If he brought food from out he always brought something for Wayne, and never took the money Wayne tried to push into his hands for it.
"Here, Mr. Munson. I wasn't sure what you wanted from the diner, but Eddie said you're not picky so I brought you a burger and fries." Steve had said that first time, holding out a bag in front of him.
"You brought me food?" Wayne asked perplexed.
"Well yeah, of course. I wouldn't have shown up with dinner for just me and Eddie." Steve set Wayne's bag on the counter when he made no move to take it.
By now Steve knew Wayne and Eddie's order at pretty much every food place in Hawkins and Wayne and Eddie were getting real creative at finding ways to slip money into Steve's wallet.
On top of that, almost every other day, Wayne gets home from work to find a maroon bmw parked outside his place while Steve helps Eddie through bad dreams. So what could Wayne be, besides grateful, for Steve Harrington's slightly confusing devotion to his kid?
He's snapped out of his thoughts when said maroon bmw pulls up in front of him. Steve is wearing a pair of wired glasses and his hair is all ruffled from sleep. Wayne opens the passenger door.
"You were waiting for forty minutes in the cold? Why didn't you call sooner?" Steve asked pushing up his glasses as Wayne closes the door quickly. And well... Wayne doesn't know how to respond to that.
"I- I shouldn'ta had to call you in the first place, Steve. I'm real sorry" Wayne says as Steve pulls the car out of park and starts driving back towards the trailer park. Wayne glances over at Steve waiting for the kid to say something. They sit in heavy silence until Steve breaks it by clearing his throat.
"Just... I know you're probably mad at Eddie but- but don't yell at him. He's barely sleeping so he really just needs the rest. It's not his fault." Steve ends on a whisper.
A tidal wave of different emotions rip through Wayne. Affection for Steve's caring nature, immense gratitude that Eddie has someone like Steve in his life, disbelief that Steve would say something like that after being woken at nearly 4 in the morning. Wayne was sitting and staring at the most selfless kid he'd ever met. Steve fucking Harrington.
"You should date my nephew."
Steves eyes widen and the car swerves.
"Uh- s-sorry- what?" Steve stammers.
"If I could choose someone for him, the best option out there, I'd choose you." Wayne says honestly, and he didn't even know he'd been thinking it until this moment. But it's so true. After so many heartbreaks over truly terrible men that Wayne could never see the appeal of, Eddie deserves someone like Steve. Steve face softens before checking to make sure Wayne was being sincere. Steve cracks a smile and chuckles to himself.
"What, you think I'm jokin'?" Wayne asks defensively.
"No sir! Not at all. It's just Eddie and I have been dating for months already. BUT- but- thank you for saying that! It means so much to me and truly Eddie's the best thing-"
"You- what?" Suddenly Wayne is embarrassed. Blushing. How'd he... how'd he miss that? And well, he did have a few moments where he thought the two of them were awfully close for a pair of young men, at least one of which who was openly queer, but they'd been through a lot together.
"Why did no one tell me?" Wayne asks turning his face away from Steve who is desperately fighting a huge grin and losing.
"We thought you knew. We sleep in the same bed every night."
"You do what now? Thought you were sleepin' on the floor" Wayne knows he sounds like the protective dad of a teenage girl and not the uncle to an adult man, but his world was just turned sideways. Steve laughs at that and adjusts his glasses before stopping at the red traffic light which almost immediately turns green because no one is out at this hour.
"Oh well. Good, I'm glad then." Wayne says after his mind has stopped spinning. "And call me Wayne already, you basically live at my house." He punches Steve lightly in the shoulder.
"Okay." Steve agrees quietly. He pulls into Forest Hills and stops the car in front of the Munson's place. "Mind if I just check to make sure he's okay before I leave? For peace of mind?" Wayne opens the door and steps out.
"Oh so now you're playing coy about sharing a bed? Just sleep here, kid" Wayne closes the door and heads towards the house. Steve jogs a little to catch up. When they open the door, the sound of an obnoxious alarm comes pouring out from the back of the house which concerns both of them. But when Steve hurries to Eddie's room he sees that the idiot had fallen asleep with music blasting in his headphones. Wayne stops the alarm as Steve gently tries to remove the headphones from his ears pausing the tape inside.
Eddie suddenly stirs and blinks up at Wayne and Steve looking down at him.
"'S going on?" He croaks, rubbing his eyes. Wayne and Steve share a look before Wayne chuckles and pats Steve on the back once before thanking him and wishing him a good night on the way out. After the door closes behind Wayne, Eddie looks back up at Steve. "What's going on baby? What happened?"
Steve slips into the bed and scoffs, fondly. He curls around Eddie and pulls him into his chest. Once they've settled, Steve pushes his fingers through Eddie's until they're all intertwined.
"Did you forget something, Bambi? Was there someone you had to pick up from work at 3 in the morning?" Steve whispers into his neck. Suddenly Eddie shoots up and dislodges Steve where he was leaning against him. Steve groans.
"Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit"
"Eddie it's okay c'mere. He's home now, it's all good babe." But Eddie just stares at the wall and pulls a hand through his hair. "No one is mad, just come back here. Let's sleep." And Eddie hesitantly lies back down.
"Did Uncle Wayne have to call you? I'm so fucking sorry Stevie." Eddie asks, sounding embarrassed.
"We had a nice conversation on the way home so it all worked out. You're okay. Sleeeeep."
And right before they both fall asleep, Eddie whispers, "Thanks Stevie, love you."
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churipu · 5 months
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jjk men when you wipe their kisses away (as a joke)
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featuring. itadori yuuji, megumi fushiguro, gojo satoru, sukuna ryomen x reader
warnings. cursing :>
note. i've seen this trend on tiktok in the past, and i feel like it's a really cute idea to write about it. hope u enjoy this :D
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ITADORI YUUJI. the first time you did it, he was like "oh? maybe they did it by accident" and the second time you did it, he was like "okay, this is no accident", but said nothing about it before planting another kiss on your cheek — and much to his dismay, you pretended to use your phone as a mirror and wipe your cheek, particularly the place where he just kissed.
"okay, baby, what did i do wrong?" he finally asks you, sitting straight up, "why are you not letting me kiss you?"
you almost folded, but you looked at him innocently, batting your eyelashes, "hm? i don't know what you're talking about," you tell him with a small smile.
yuuji brushed it off and then gave your cheek another peck, before he knows it, you did the same thing again — wiping the place where he just kissed and then he huffs out, "okay y/n, what is wrong with you? do you hate me now? are you breaking up with me?"
he looked like he was about to break down right then and there, so you figured it was time to stop. and then you laughed at him, pulling him into your embrace, "i'm kidding yuuji, it was a joke."
yuuji rolled his eyes and circled his arms around you, "i thought you were breaking up with me. don't do that again," pouty baby.
MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. "why are you doing that?" he asks, and you arched your brow, pretending to be clueless of what he was saying. he shook his head, kissing your cheek (yet again), and to confirm his question, you wiped his kiss off again.
"that, i meant that," he said, "why are you doing that?"
"doing what?" you retorted back.
"bye y/n." he mutters out, obviously not wanting to play with this game of yours — and when you realized he was serious about this "bye" of his, you jumped up and grabbed his arm.
"i'm kidding gumi," you chuckled, and that was all he needed to hear.
megumi planted another kiss on your cheek, "wipe that again and i'm going for real this time," you didn't wipe it off (you were thinking about it though).
"can i have another one?"
megumi rolled his eyes, "no."
GOJO SATORU. hysterical right from the first time you did it, and was throwing a tantrum about how you shouldn't do that because his kiss privileges are special just for you and nobody else, yet this is how you treat him.
"baby, okay, no more kiss privileges for you. you're done, i'm done. we're both done." he mutters out, crossing his arms.
and when you didn't retaliate with his tantrums, he just had to try planting another kiss on your lips — to which you wiped off right after, and (dramatic) gojo takes that as a big insult. he gasps and pulls himself back onto the couch, sinking in with his brows furrowed and he glared at the floor.
"satoru?"
he grumbles under his breath about how everything was so unfair, how the world's such a cruel place, just being dramatic honestly. he glances at you before throwing his gaze to the side.
"satoru, you're such a baby."
again he gasps, "me? a baby? you started this!" lord, how much more dramatic can he get?
"give me a kiss, satoru."
he clicked his tongue, "no. i told you, you lost your kiss privileges."
you shrugged, "fine. i'll ask someone else for it then."
he folded and immediately threw himself on you, peppering kisses all over your face, "don't do that again, baby. why are you wiping my kisses off?"
you laughed, "it's a joke, satoru."
"i don't like this joke."
SUKUNA RYOMEN. caught on the first time you did it, and he grumbled under his breath about how you should be lucky he's willing to give you a kiss in the first place (he will do it all over again, no matter how many times you want it).
"what was that, ryo?" sukuna groans out when he sees your innocent e/c eyes looking at him, "did you say something?"
he said nothing, "i don't fucking like this shit you're playing with me," he said, facing away.
"what shit?" he glances at you, his eyes doing all the talk. and you laugh loudly at his reaction, "oh, you're so adorable," sukuna rolled his eyes, pushing your legs that previously was lying on top of his lap, "hey! come back."
"fuck off."
"give me a kiss, ryo." he ignored you, so you did it yourself — kissing his forehead, "don't be mad, it's a joke, honey."
he could tolerate your jokes about mostly anything, really (because he's madly in love with you), but never when it comes to jokes that could probably ruin your relationship (he never wants to break up with you).
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© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !
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01zfan · 3 months
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argue with you | s. es
valedictorian!eunseok x debate team leader!reader | 6.6k words
a request that i really enjoyed writing. part two here!
contains: academic rivals, semi public shenanigans, hand stuff (f. and m. receiving.)
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you loved debate. you joined it because it was a mix of two things you loved in life, arguing with people and winning. you were grateful that you were able to get close with the people on the debate team too, finding kids your age with such interesting minds. you loved everyone on your debate team and they loved you, so it was no surprise when you were unanimously voted the leader of the debate team. life was perfect on the debate team.
until eunseok joined.
it was a normal day after school, following your friends as you walked in a group to the debate practice room.
“our sponsor said someone new is joining the team.” giselle said to your group.
“this late?” wonbin asked.
“technically the season has barely started. we are still prepping for tournaments.” yunjin said.
your crew was behind you as you opened the door to the debate room. you looked back at them, not expecting anyone to be in the room yet.
“yeah but still. unless he has previous knowledge about debate he will just drag the rest of us down.” you said.
the shocked expression on yunjin’s face told you everything you needed to know. eunseok sat at one of the tables, hearing everything you said about him. 
you didn’t hate eunseok when he first joined. you actually felt pretty bad for making such a terrible first impression. eunseok was also projected to be the valedictorian, you could never bring yourself to hate someone who was so smart. you immediately apologized, saying you didn’t know he was in the room but he said nothing in response. eunseok being indifferent towards you was a first. many gravitated towards you or spoke about you in high regard. being liked came easily for you, so the fact that eunseok couldn’t be bothered irked you to no end.
you were surprised you had never crossed paths with eunseok before. you never had him in any of your classes despite both of you being enrolled in the same curriculum. you didn’t know him, your social circles didn’t collide either. he had joined the debate team late in the semester, wanting a final thing to put on his college applications. you thought it was ridiculous. he was already top of his class what more did he need? 
because eunseok joined the debate team with such high markings he came with an attitude you didn’t like. he was careless, didn’t take notes and always debated in the affirmative. he was novice at best, always trying to take you on in policy debates. at first it was easy to crush him, pointing out his ad populum fallacies and taking advantage of his lack of knowledge. he had it coming, challenging the best debater on the team. he refused to study so you threw the book at him each time, winning your debates with ease. people on your team always watched the arguments. they were ooo’ing and ah’ing as you two fought it out.
you couldn’t help but get even more upset at eunseok remaining nonchalant through every debate. even if he got hit with a penalty or his argument was rebutted he’d let it wash off him like rain, shrugging his shoulders before moving to the next topic. you wanted to best him, you wanted to see him break a sweat.
to your disliking he quickly improved. it was unfair, someone so uninvolved with debate coming in and learning everything with ease. it wasn’t long before he had you struggling to counter his arguments. when he first argued with you in a negative it filled you with rage. how did he get so good? it didn’t help that he swayed the lay judges, his confidence when speaking made the average person who didn’t know about policies believe that eunseok had the answers. his attitude didn’t just win over the lay judges, but also your team. he won them over quickly, they thought he was charismatic and funny.
it wasn’t long until he was voted to be the co-leader of the team and your individual events turned to public forum debates with eunseok as your partner.
“looks like we are going to be getting real close.” eunseok said, looking at your names side by side on the competition sheet.
you scoffed and rolled your eyes. you believe the debate gods had it out for you. everyone else on debate said that you two were the dream team and your probability of winning was high. your probability to win alone was higher, and eunseok would just drag you down.
“just don’t get in my way, eunseok.” you said.
you looked up at the man with the most hate you could muster in your body. you almost felt bad when you saw sadness wash across his face, but it was quickly replaced with his same nonchalant expression. he shrugged his shoulders and put his hand on your tense ones. you got indignant from his touch but he smirked.
“we will do well.” eunseok said simply.
no matter how much you hated to admit it, you two did make a good team. his confidence and talent for public speaking combined with your arguments you two were unbeatable. it wasn’t long before you took your team to nationals for the first time in your school’s history. it was becoming harder and harder to hate eunseok. it turned into a mild disliking that formed because of a misunderstanding. you were determined to keep up appearances, rolling your eyes when he would be mentioned or when he’d put his arm on your shoulder and call you ‘partner’. 
you started to think eunseok liked trying to piss you off. he would always be in your personal space, walking behind you through crowds of people, saying your name constantly, always having that teasing tone to his voice. he was also always stuck to you, following you everywhere especially at debate tournaments. he sat next to you on the bus, lifting up your headphones to talk to you directly in your ear.
“we’re here.” he said.
you snatched your headphones away from him and gave him your best glare. eunseok developed the nasty habit being annoying just to get a rise out of you. some of the only times you’d see him break the calm demeanor he had debating was when he’d smile after telling you a bad joke or stepping on the backs of your shoes. each time you rolled his eyes and he would place his hands on your shoulders. it seemed like his favorite place to be sometimes, shaking you lightly as you shrugged him off.
you get up from the front seat of the bus. your team progressively woke up from their naps. the drive was about an hour and a half. you saw your team yawn and stretch, looking for their things in the seat. you stretch too, turning around getting ready to read the itenerary and the list for debates today.
“everyone pay attention.” eunseok said from his seat beside you.
no one told eunseok to sit next to you on the bus. you assumed it became an unspoken rule, the leader and co-leader sitting side by side. you considered this to be a plus as well, just in case you wanted to go over anything with eunseok before the tournament. you two rarely spoke on the bus ride to competitions though. it would always be a surprisingly not awkward silence.
eunseok didn’t have to raise his voice to get everyone to listen to him. you envied that about him, his ability to command a room. all eyes are on you as you clear your throat. 
“okay everyone. first and foremost, happy debate day.” you say smiling
“happy debate day!” everyone says back it back to you in unison. 
everyone cheers and you look at the clipboard with the debate assignments.
“okay so for our IE’s we have giselle, yeji, and anton.”
eunseok watches you read off their names like a teacher doing roll call. giselle, yeji, and anton all give you a nod after hearing their name to show they heard you. eunseok watched as you went down the list of names on the paper, quickly scanning for to see who would be debating. eunseok lingered on your furrowed eyebrow for a split second before brushing a piece of hair out of his face.
“for our policy debates we have our freshmen duos eunchae bahiyyih and kyujin jiwoo. this is their first national competition ever.” you exclaim and so does the rest of the bus. everyone cheers for the four girls, sinking in their backseats giggling.
“it’s a busy day for all of us but if you can please sit in on their debate to silently cheer them on.” you emphasis silently to look at eunseok. 
he shrugs his shoulders and the bus giggles. how was he supposed to know he wasn’t allowed to clap after a good argument? 
“we have yunjin running as support so don’t be afraid to run your notes by her, especially our IE’s.” you say, pointing your hand towards yunjin.
yunjin raises her hand from her seat in the middle to show everyone where she is. you rack your mind trying to think what other operational things you can say. you tap tap the clipboard against your hand, trying to see if the sound can rattle your mind enough to remember other things.
“don’t be afraid to approach the senior members of the team if you need help. also please travel in pairs if you’re going to the restroom. lunch is at 12:30 in the cafeteria. we will also get our room assignments for the hotel tonight so please be don’t skip it. oh, and our sponsor and chaperones are here too, they just arrived a little earlier to set up. everyone has their numbers right?” you ask.
everyone on the bus gives you the affirmative. you set your clipboard down at your side, almost done with your piece.
“this is our first nationals our school has ever been to so lets have fun and let’s win.”
you say your final line expecting cheers. everyone on the bus smiles or looks at you expectantly waiting to say something. 
you’re about to ask what’s wrong until you see eunchae’s hand in the back row seat raise. you look to her and you can see several people holding back laughs. you look to your side and see eunseok’s shameless toothy grin.
“eunchae what’s up?” you ask. 
you hear little concealed laughs. eunchae does her best at hiding a smile from her face.
“who’s doing the public forum debate?” eunchae asks.
her four friends all laugh and you can feel your face getting hot. you clear your throat, trying to show you’re unbothered.
“oh. for our public forum debate it’s eunseok and i.” you say. 
you don’t know why you sound bashful, or why eunseok looks down with a smile on his face. you try to say not funny but your voice is drowned out when the bus erupts in ooh la la’s and almost paradise’s. you hide behind your clipboard and eunseok takes the lead, standing up beside you.
“don’t worry about us. we got this win, right partner?” eunseok asks. 
you shrug him off again as people file off the bus, taking their name badges from you. when it’s just you and eunseok left you nearly push him back down in the seat with the amount of force you put behind giving him his name tag. eunseok takes the tag silently and he moves backwards further into the bus so you can get off first.
“don’t feed into it, please.” you say. 
your eyes are trained on the clipboard, rereading names and debate times over and over again. eunseok walks behind you closely, like a mother watching her child walk through a parking lot. he picks up his speed so he can stand beside you. eunseok contemplates something, his normal pace of walking falters for only a second. he then speeds past you, joining the rest of the team as they enter the school building. you follow behind them, confused as to why your heart dropped when eunseok didn’t try to crack a joke at your expense. 
you watched him all day. your debate didn’t start until after lunch, so you served as a mentor for the other events happening before you. you gave the freshmen tips on what to say during a debate, knowing your arguments strengths and weaknesses to make your arguments more solid. they gathered in your information with open ears, running things they were going to say by you just to double check the validity of their arguments. you watched eunchae nod her head enthusiastically as she made notes in the margins of her clipboard. 
when you were done talking to them, you could see those same people going to eunseok. you wondered what they were talking about, until you saw eunseok show them posture and how to give facial expressions to help sway the lay men. in the middle of eunseok showing bahiyyih how to calm her nerves he looked up and locked eyes with you. any other time you would’ve rolled your eyes at eunseok, continuing with whatever you were saying. but this time you found yourself being cut off mid-sentence, suddenly looking down with a smile on your face.
because of your free schedule, you were able to go to almost all of the events your team was involved in. it started with the freshmen girls, kyujin and jiwoo went first. they did well, taking your advice on the notes you gave them. you watched them give good rejection speeches to the policy proposed by the other team. you knew the kyujin and jiwoo would do well, they both had siblings who were involved in debate. so when they won it didn’t come as a surprise. you gave them a big thumbs up from the back of the room and the at the pair smiled at you. when you got up to congratulate them, you saw that eunseok was sitting in the front of the debate hall. he must have been there for the whole thing.
you don’t know why it surprised you. eunseok was only competing in one event like you were, so he had all day free too. it just seemed like it was out of his character to sit in and cheer for another team, especially since you had asked the debate team to stop by if they could. you don’t know if it surprised you more that eunseok was listening attentively or that he came to the back of the lecture hall and sat by you while they got ready for eunchae and bahiyyih’s debate.
“don’t be nervous. they got this,” eunseok said. “they have a good teacher.”
you turned to look at him but he wasn’t looking at you. eunseok’s eyes were trained on the stage while volunteers set up the tables for the next debate. you smile and lean back in the seat.
“you get it.” you say smugly. 
you can practically hear eunseok roll his eyes at you. he laughs lightly and you smile too. you don’t know you smile, or why teasing eunseok makes you feel a little sheepish. you’re grateful that a few people come from your team and sit by the two of you. you can only watch the first half of the debate before you and eunseok have to leave for your public forum debate.
the team wishes you luck and you ask them to stay to cheer on eunchae and bahiyyih. they listen to you, saying they’ll join in the later half if possible. you nod and leave, eunseok following behind you closely. to exit the lecture hall you had to climb a few stairs. you tried to ignore eunseok’s presence behind you, his hand ghosting the small of your back ready to catch you if you fall. 
“i got it.” you said. 
your words didn’t have the usual bite they had. you sounded shy if anything. eunseok tsked behind you, his hand falling back slightly but still there.
“okay princess.” he says mockingly. 
the nickname is what causes you to almost trip over the steps as you exit the hall.
the trek to the debate hall is a quiet one. the silence wasn’t awkward, sometimes you preferred that so you could collect your thoughts before a debate. eunseok was the opposite—usually the chatty type. eunseok would be talking about random things not even pertaining to the debate and he would be pestering you with questions. it did help sometimes, easing the stress you felt. but this competition was important, so you wanted to lock in and focus.
eunseok watched you pace back and forth in the hallway. you would occasionally mumble something to yourself, probably some talking point you wanted to drill into your mind. eunseok reviewed all his notes the night before and on the bus ride while you slept. looking at his notes the day before helped him more than your method. he enjoyed watching you, though. the way you walked back and forth with your furrowed eyebrows, practicing your expressions. it was like eunseok was able to get a peak into your inner thoughts and the way your mind worked. over the course of the preseason he was able to learn some of your ticks as well. he saw you take your bottom lip between two fingers, a telltale sign that. you were nervous. 
eunseok cleared his throat, reminding you that he was there. you looked at him with a little bit of softness, waiting for him to say something. he loved when you looked at him with a little tenderness. eunseok would never admit he liked debating with you so much because in these moments he got to see you be a little bit vulnerable. the anxiety before a debate wore down your iron resolve just a little and eunseok basked in it.
“are you ready?” eunseok asked.
“i’m a little nervous. this determines if we advance in the season.” you said.
eunseok nodded his head knowingly. he didn’t want to make a big deal out of comforting you, afraid that if he was too comforting the soft look in your eyes would disappear.
“we got this. all preseason you crushed it.” eunseok said.
“could i have even done it without you?” you said. 
eunseok was taken aback by your words. you were never the type to vocalizes insecurity, especially when it came to debate. eunseok couldn’t stop his hand from going to your shoulder. your eyes grew wide before you got ahold of your expression, trying to seem as calm as possible.
“you absolutely destroy everyone in the district in independent events. i’m sure they have you in public forum so you can have more variety on your resume.” eunseok said.
eunseok watched the lightbulb go off in your head.
“i had never considered that.” you said queitly.
eunseok shrugged and took his hand off your shoulder, despite his mind begging him to keep it there. he put his hands in his pockets to ball his fists up.
“we got this. you are super smart and knowledgable about the topic.” eunseok says, face feeling hot.
before you can thank him, the assistant moderator comes outside. she motions you two into the debate hall.
the debate goes by smoothly. eunseok is the best at delivering opening statements. his tone and body language helps accurately portray what you want the audience and laymen understand. his opening statements also give you time to collect your thoughts, calming any anxiety you may have. although you were opposed to sharing the debate floor with someone, eunseok really does help calm you down. you find yourself leaning on him during some parts of the debate, and it’s comforting to see him lean on you too. you both truly do make an excellent team, coming together for the common purpose of winning. 
there’s some sort of tension that begins to build during the end of the debate. after refuting an inaccuracy in the opposing teams argument, you find yourself looking to eunseok so he can give you a look that says “good job”. you even let him challenge a claim and watching him proudly as he calls out a fallacy you would call him out for during practice. eunseok smiles each time you smile at him.
when you two are announced as winners eunseok pulls you into a hug. the relief from winning the first competition of the season has you hugging him back. when you two pull away it’s a little awkward. eunseok helps put the medal on your head and you helps him too.
you two leave the debate hall to your team waiting to congratulate you. they say they didn’t doubt you would win, and you smile at all of them. you smile extra hard at eunseok and the way he praises you in front of your whole team. you take a picture together, biting your medals like it’s made of real gold. you feel eunseok’s hand rest on the small of your back while taking the photo, and you let him wrap an arm. around you waist as you two hold up your pointer finger. 
if anyone in your team noticed the tension they say nothing. but you can feel it growing between the two of you. you both sit at a table helping the rest of the team with their events before lunch when giselle comes up to you. 
she asks for a spare clipboard, folders, and to bring the papers the printed from the copy machine. going into the storage room is something that only leaders of the team are allowed to do. it helps prevent overcrowding or people going into the storage room that aren’t supposed to. giselle also needs to go over everything with yunjin, running to grab supplies would just take away from her precious prep time.
“i’ll go with you,” eunseok says. “just in case you have trouble reaching something.”
in any other instance you would’ve given him your signature scowl and ignore him. you don’t know you laugh at the comment, no one at your table does. they look at you like you’ve grown an extra head, cracking a smile at one of eunseok’s terrible jokes. you get ahold of yourself and start walking away, letting him follow you.
eunseok follows behind you, reeling off the fact he made you laugh. the silence you two had was a little awkward now, and you silently curse yourself for laughing.
inside of the storage room is cramped to say the least. the archaic printer takes up a majority of the space, and an even older wooden table sits in front of it. you wait for the million papers giselle printed out in complete silence. eunseok’s height actually was useful, grabbing the folders and clipboard on the very top shelf.
“good job today.” eunseok says.
you look at him only for a split second before going back to looking at the papers come from the printer.
“you too, eunseok. you’re really good at pointing out fallacies now.” you say.
“well that’s all thanks to you.” eunseok says.
it’s so cramped in the storage room he hits something as he brings his hand to scratch the back of his neck. you smile and shake your head.
“no that’s all you. you’re a fast learner.” you say.
“only because you pushed me to be.” eunseok laughs. “i know you hate me for joining so late and you think i don’t care about debate but i worked really hard to be good at it because of you.”
eunseok doesn’t know why he’s rambling off at the mouth going crazy with praising you. he finally gets you to look at him from the printer though. you have that same soft look you had outside of the debate hall.
“i don’t hate you, eunseok.” you protest. “i thought you hated me because of what i said when you first joined.”
eunseok shakes his head and laughs a little 
“i was never mad about that. i understood where you were coming from completely.”
the printer finishes its job while you and eunseok look at eachother. you can’t believe you spent this whole time thinking he hated you while it was all a misunderstanding. you feel embarrassed now, after all the times you were mean to him for no reason.
“i’m sorry.” you say sincerely.
“me too.” eunseok says back.
you two are silent and you go back to looking at the copy machine. eunseok clears his throat and you look at him. his expression had changed from a sorry one to a smirk. he leans against the large table and crosses his arms.
“you know, this whole time i thought you were being mean. but was it just flirting?” eunseok says.
you visibly stiffen at his comment. you turn to him wide eyed and in shock, eunseok looks at you with his mouth slightly open, proud of the reaction he’s able to pull from you.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say, still wide eyed. 
eunseok slowly closes the space between the two of you. you suddenly are very aware of everything about him. the way he looks down at you. his hands, his mouth, his eyes. he’s so close to you it leaves nothing to imagination.
“it’s okay. do you know why i joined the debate team?” eunseok says.
he’s right in front of you now, and you can smell his cologne. you never realized how tall he was as he looked down at you. you shook your head, trying to find your voice. eunseok cocks an eyebrow and you clear your throat.
“for college applications?” you say meekly.
eunseok shakes his head.
“why would i need anything else on my college application?” eunseok asks.
“i don’t know.” you said.
“i actually joined because of this girl on the team i wanted to get to know better. so unfortunate i didn’t have a single class with her after all these years.” eunseok says.
you sit there and stare at eunseok. he just confessed to joining the team solely to get to know you better. now all the doting and teasing makes sense, but you still can’t believe it.
you’re in disbelief still when eunseok puts his hand underneath your chin to tip your head upwards. you are in disbelief when eunseok puts his lips on yours. you don’t know what comes over you when you pull at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. you suddenly can’t get enough of him, you want him all over you. you want to hear him praise you a million times over. you want to hear him call you a princess again. you stick your tongue into his mouth and he does the same to you.
both of your minds and bodies operate at a million miles a minute, focused solely on feeling everything. eunseok pulls you in closer, arching his body over yours. it feels like he’s going to swallow you whole the way he towers over your frame. you feel like your set on fire when eunseok’s hand goes to your ass and you jump up. he catches you with ease.
your body’s bump into almost every structure in the storage closet. you can feel your back press against the large printer and you can hear it being bumped into as eunseok turns you around. his hand leaves your body for only a second while he clears things off of the table. you hear clipboards, papers, and other office supplies hit the ground as eunseok sets you on top of the table gently.
eunseok pulls away from your lips. he looks at you and you look at him. for just a second it is completely silent in the storage room as you two stare at one another. you see out of the corner of your eye eunseok’s chest is heaving. you both give the other a chance to leave, a chance to profusely apologize for kissing. you stay on top of the table and look at eunseok’s pouting lips, hoping he gets the hint.
eunseok brings you in again with his hand underneath your chin leading you. it is softer than the first time, eunseok looking at your lips before they connect. he instantly deepens the kiss and you guys fight for a second trying to decide who gets to lead the other. you relinquish control to eunseok when you can feel him mess with the waistband of your pants. you let him undo the belt and the buttons. you do the same to him, using your shaking hands to pull down the zipper of his dress pants.
eunseok’s slacks drop to his ankles the same time he puts his hand underneath the waistband of your panties. eunseok uses his free hand to pull you closer to the edge of the table, for better access to you. eunseok wastes no time and you don’t either, not even bothering to pull down his boxers. you both put your hands to eachother at the same time, gasping into the kiss. eunseok pulls away from the kiss to look down at you. his mouth is still slightly open and so is yours, letting out long sighs as you guys slowly figure out what the other wants. eunseok teases your folds and you wrap your hands around his twitching dick. you both give one more look, this is your last chance to pull back from him. eunseok sticks a finger in you and you start slowly stroking him. eunseok looks away from you first, muttering a curse word as he puts his face in the crook of your neck. he presses his lips to your neck and suddenly you want him to leave a mark. 
you turn your head to face his as you pick up the speed of your hand. everything is rushed and you want to go as far as you can before the severity of the situation hits you. eunseok must feel the same way because he puts another finger inside of you. 
“you smell so good.” eunseok says.
he still stays in the crook of your neck and other hand has moved to your back. eunseok’s hand on your back alternates between moving up and down, pulling you closer to him, and grasping at your clothes like he can’t decide how he wants to hold you. you just let out a tiny sigh in response to him, scared to speak. if you say something it might snap eunseok out of whatever trance he’s in right now, and you are selfishly enjoying the way he bends his fingers inside of you.
“you’re so pretty.” eunseok says.
eunseok’s compliment was so quiet you truly don’t think you were meant to hear it. you convince yourself that he is just saying things in the heat of the moment. you don’t say anything back to eunseok, just pick up the pace of your hand. 
you can hear the table shake and slightly give underneath your weight. the creaking sound of the table mixes with the sloppy sounds of eunseok’s fingers inside of you and the wet sound of you jerking eunseok. his precum makes the job easy, you can feel it coming from his tip and lubricating his shaft. his dick is thick and heavy in your hand. you stop the intrusive thought of wondering what his dick looks like inside of his boxers. you wonder if his dick is as hot as the sounds he’s trying to muffle in your neck. you never took him for the whiny type, his sighs and quiet moans coming out in a higher pitch. eunseok pulls himself away from your neck to look down between the two of you.
eunseok is enthralled by the sight. he has never seen anyone like you, he’s never felt anything like this. he would’ve never thought he’d be here, trying to coax pretty little moans from your throat using his fingers. he wants to show you how good he is at this, but the situation and the way you look at him makes his hands unsteady. he’s positive he’s missing your clit and failing to hit those spots deep inside of you. he wishes he could take your pants off to really get inside of you and to see it all. but for now eunseok settles for fighting against the fabric of your wet panties pressed to the back of his hand as he fingers you. when you bring your head into his chest and pick up the pace he becomes more confident, doing the same action over and over again until your quiet moans become more frequent. eunseok can’t hold back his smile when your free hand grips the bicep of the hand that’s inside of you, digging nails into his skin.
“keep going.” you say breathlessly.
eunseok doesn’t falter and seeing you experience pleasure heightens his own. he can feel himself getting harder in your hand.
“i’m close.” eunseok says.
“me too. please don’t stop.” you whine into his chest.
eunseok brings you even closer to the edge of the table and you clench around him. you’re so close that you prepare yourself to bury your head into his sweater vest so your moans can’t be heard outside. 
“fuck. just like that.” eunseok says.
you keep up the pace of your hand. your nails dig deeper into eunseok’s skin. his hold on your lower back tighten.
you still have eunseok in your hand and he still has his fingers inside of you when the alarm on your phone goes off. the sudden blaring sound rips you both out of your reverie, and eunseok nearly jumps away from you.
you and eunseok stay like that for only a moment. something in the air of the storage room shifts almost immediately as you both start comprehending the situation. both of your eyes widen as you look up at him and he looks down at you.
eunseok suddenly pulls his fingers out of you and you take your hand out of his boxers. your shaking hands bring the zipper of your pants up, and you can hear eunseok fumble with his slacks as he brings them back up to his waist. he moves in such a rush that he stumbles backwards, bumping into the copy machine. in any other situation you would’ve been laughing at him for being so clumsy. but now you have a mission of getting out as soon as possible, your face heating up unbelievably fast.
when your pants are on you hop off the table and grab your phone to turn off the alarm. you see several messages and calls from people on the debate team asking where you are and congratulations on your win.
“i have to go now before lunch starts.” you say.
“yeah.” eunseok says.
“i’ll see you there.” you say after a long pause.
“yeah.” eunseok says.
neither of you look at the other as your faces get even hotter. eunseok messes with his belt over and over again. you dust off your pants and adjust your clothes a million times. the tension in the closest is thick, you think you may choke on it if you don’t leave soon. you focus on everything but eunseok. you’re sure you look disheveled but it is the least of your worries. you can pop into a bathroom before heading to lunch.
you leave eunseok in the storage closet alone without looking back. the whole way to the bathroom you are looking behind you, making sure no one saw you go in there. 
eunseok doesn’t leave the storage room for another five minutes after you leave. the moment you closed the door behind you eunseok crouched down the floor trying to. figure out what the hell just happened. he was still throbbing in his pants and his fingers smelled like your heat. he was so incredibly confused and out of breath he had to spend time to regain his bearings. he set up his phone to fix his mussed hair and ruffled slacks. he cleans up the storage room too, grabbing the supplies giselle had asked for.
eunseok for some reason expected you to be outside of the storage room waiting for him. he swallowed what felt like a lump in his throat as he started making his way towards the cafeteria.
you try to eat the sandwiches brought to you by the chaperones but you are too focused on what situation you were in not even ten minutes ago.  you could only manage to take a few bites before you realized you’re not hungry. you let the people at your table pick off of your food like vultures.
you don’t even dare to try and look at eunseok from across the room. after coming from the bathroom he was already there, he must have came straight there after leaving the storage room.
your hand is still sticky from him and every time you move you get the faintest smell of eunseok. you can feel his scent all over you, lingering and ominous like a storm cloud. you pray no one else can see how flustered you are.
after lunch is over the team still remains to get room assignments. you are so checked out mentally you don’t know what’s happening until you hear your group start protesting about the arrangement.
“why do they get their own rooms?” you hear eunchae ask.
“because they’re the captains and senior members of the team. also you guys signed up for these rooms.” the chaperone says.
you and eunseok are the only ones taking a solo room. something about an uneven number of boys and girls and it worked out in your favor. you need to be able to have a room to yourself so you can pace around and think about what happened in that storage room. you take your keycard and a spare just in case, sliding it in your wallet. everyone in your team floats to who their assigned with for tonight.
“we have few more debates for the day, but everyones schedule is clear for the independent events. let’s all support the three competing in that event.” you hear your sponsor say.
after eating, everyone in your teams throws away the trash and cleans the table, leaving the space cleaner than when you two arrived. you end up falling behind the rest of the group as they head towards the debate room. you’re double checking to make sure all the tables are clean and nothing was left behind when you see eunseok walking right towards you. you desperately try to look busy, wiping nonexistent crumbs off the tables. in your mind, if you don’t see eunseok he won’t see you. but he does see you, he always has. 
eunseok comes up to you and you have no choice but to look at him. you get shy, focusing on the button up of his debate uniform. you are counting all the buttons on his shirt over and over again when you feel him slide something in the back pocket of your pants. you look up ti him with wide eyes, and his demeanor is calm. 
“if you want to talk about what happened lights out is at 8:30. i’m in room 31.” eunseok says to you.
you don’t even get the chance to say anything to him. as soon as he’s done talking he’s gone, jogging to catch up with the rest of the debate team. you stand at the table frozen solid. when you reach to your back pocket you can feel the undeniable shape and feel of a plastic keycard.
it was going to be a long night.
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radiocrypt-id · 3 months
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The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)
Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.
Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.
The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.
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kingconia · 8 months
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VIL SCHOENHEIT, LEONA KINGSCHOLAR AND MALLEUS DRACONIA WITH READER, WHO IS ALWAYS IGNORED BY THEIR FATHER...
(...Who happens to be the headmaster himself.)
Bonus points: reader studies in the Diasomnia.
Malleus Draconia. 💚
— When he heard for the first time that the new student of the Diasomnia, is the children of the Dire Crowley, he had a very low expectations, to be honest. Not like he hated on you beforehand or something, more like he was too aware of headmaster's character...
— So, he was pleasantly surprised to see that you are completely the opposite of your father. Responsible, hardworking—if not for you being a crow yourself, and having the same surname, he would never guess that you were raised by this man;
— However... It was clear as day that the reason why you had nothing common with him, was because he hardly payed attention to you. You tried so hard by studying diligently and achieving the first places in different school contests, and yet... He didn't really care?
— Malleus had never met his father, but Lilia made sure he would never feel neglected in the way you were. And the mistreatment towards you hurt him even more, than it hurt you.
”Shit,” you groaned, baring your teeth in unhidden displeasure. ”Headmaster will not approve seeing that that these students broke the window.”
Malleus gazed at you curiously—both of you were sitting on the roof, talking about everything and nothing—and the question left his lips by itself.
”We are all alone. Why are you still calling him a headmaster?”
As you brought knees to your chest, resting your chin on them, you shrugged. With voice impassive and eyed cold, you explained:
”I don't have a particular way to call him. He is either headmaster or Crowley. So...”
Malleus's heart squeezed instantly of the thought of that.
It sounded so unbelievable.
He grew up witnessing how gentle Lilia was to Silver, and how the latter called him a father. Their bond, a sincere and tight one, was always an example for Malleus of how families should like. And here you were, ignored by a man, who was the reason you were in this world. How unfair.
”Y/n?”
Malleus thought, if you asked him to fulfill your wish—to make your father love you—he would. Without a doubt.
”Yes?”
But for some reasons, you never do.
”I hope, you understand, a precious raven of mine, that Diasomnia is your family, too.”
So, he can only offer you an alternative. An alternative, where you need to accept that despite not having your father's love, you had all of them—him, Lilia, Silver and Sebek.
”...Thank you for that. I... I try to keep that in mind.”
Yet, you still need some time to comprehend that.
He could wait. They all will.
Vil Schoenheit. 💜
— He was naturally suspicious of you. It is not a secret that Vil hates privileged kids—such as Leona, for example—and for him, it was logical that you were the one, too;
— However, he started to doubt about that after observing you more closely;
— You never skipped lectures, always did your homework and participated actively in the classes. And not only that! Your achievements weren't passing through him—he was quite aware of all your wins in competitions, and a good reputation;
— So, to the moment, when you came to ask for his help for your talent show, Vil already admitted to himself, that despite having a privilege, you were a high achiever, who knew how to work. But, oh, little did he knew, that you were an opposite to the privileged person...
“Y/n-san,” Vil frowned deliberately, glaring at you with a genuine concern in his eyes, ”I think, you should take a little rest. Please.”
With your shoulders shaking, hands being red, and legs hardly keeping you up, you looked awful.
Vil knew how exhaustion looked—he wore it on himself all the time, after all—and he could say for sure, you were too close to the meltdown. If not to the overbolt...
”I can't. I should try harder,” you murmured, voice raspy. ”Only this way I can...”
The desperation in your eyes were so familiar that Vil almost flinched from it. Carefully, afraid of doing the wrong choice, he put hands on your shoulders, squeezing them softly.
”Y/n-san, you are one of the best students of our school. Even more, you are standing on the same place in the world, along with Leona and Malleus,” he reminded, lips slightly brushing your hair as he spoke. ”What else are you trying to achieve?”
”His attention, of course!" A sob that escaped your lips were too gut-wrenching to hear. ”What else I can need, if not a father?”
Vil didn't even try to conceal his own genuine sadness as he heard you saying that. Almost instinctively, he hugged you tightly, allowing to hide in the crook of his neck.
It was the moment, when he regretted that his assumptions about you being spoiled, were wrong. It would be much healthier for you, if he was right.
”Oh, darling,” he whispered gently. ”Cry all you like. You are allowed to.”
And so, you did.
When on the next morning you pretended that nothing happened, Vil wasn't mad at you for that. If anything, he was merely happy that he was able to help you for a while.
...If only you understood how worthy you are.
Leona Kingscholar. 💛
— The unbothered king had only two complaints to you, and both of them sounded ridiculous. Because, he was unhappy with you being a part of Diasomnia, and he couldn't settle with a fact that you were a crow. The end of the story;
— Leona truly couldn't care less about you or your father. What he cared was the fact that you were a powerful rival in the Spelldrive Tournament, and he was slightly bitter to losing both to you and your housewarden;
— Overall, he respected you. And that was why when you offered him to play chess together, he didn't say no. Since that, you became close, always playing together, in the same time and place;
— As Leona became closer to you, he obviously realised that your family relationships were fucked up—takes one neglected kid to recognise the other—but, decided not to pry out. If you want to talk about it, you will. Otherwise, he will not do anything.
”Huh?”
Leona blinked, not caring to mask his astonishment as he saw you sitting in the botanical garden, with chess board being set up, ready for another game.
”Hi, Leona,” you raised your head at him slowly. ”You are late.”
He weren't late, he just didn't know that you will be here.
The school was on the winder holidays, and the prevailing amount of students already left to their houses. As far as Leona had heard, the headmaster was the first one to leave, since he had a special vacation somewhere in the Shifts. Of course, Leona expected you to go there with him.
”...What are you doing here?” He asked bluntly. ”Shouldn't be you on holidays, or something?”
”My house is too empty,” you shrug, the slight frown indicating your irritation by this question. ”I decided, it would be better to stay.”
”...And the vacation?”
”Oh, Crowley never takes me with himself,” you huffed easily.
Leona had no idea that your relationship was that bad. Even Falena always invited him everywhere, just in case if Leona suddenly decides to agree.
”Well?” You rushed him. ”Are you going to play with me?”
There was nothing Leona could say to console you, words never being his strongest quality. But as he slowly made his way to the armchair, he couldn't help but being hit by the wave of the sheer madness towards your father.
How could anyone neglect such an ambitious and perfect kid as you?
”If I win, you are celebrating New Year with me,” Leona finally spoke up, moving the white piece of chess.
Well, it didn't matter. Not like Dire Crowley deserved you anyway.
”And if I do?”
”Then, I am celebrating New Year with you.”
You smiled at him, before concentrating on the game
”How cruel. I am in.”
He couldn't help but feel proud that the smile on your face was his doing.
Perhaps, you had not the best father, but... At least, Leona will make sure, that you will have a perfect holidays for once.
And that was fine, too.
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coeurify · 7 months
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LACY, OH LACY
ellie williams.
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·˚ ༘ * “like ribbons in your hair, my stomach’s all in knots. you got the one thing that i want."
pairing: ellie williams x f!reader. summary: you’ve got the one thing ellie wants, and it’s rotting her thoughts of you. based on lacy by olivia rodrigo. warning: my first go at true angst, but a happy ending! i took a much sadder direction with the song lol. reader is described as having a father figure. looks of reader never described beside that there’s ribbons in their hair. they/them pronouns used. for a GUTS writing challenge in writing server!
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Envy was a nasty thing. Ellie knew that. Ellie knew that the way her lip curled down upon the sight of your frame disappearing into the Tipsy Bison in Jackson was unfair.
Ellie knew that the way her body tensed whenever you were followed quickly by an older man, one who grumbled and wiped at his sleepy eyes, wasn’t fair. The way she turned on her heel and walked away each time she saw you two, the pebbles under the toe of her converse being kicked away, that wasn’t fair either.
But god, did it tie her stomach in tiny little knots, ones that made it hard to swallow, hard to look away when your shining eyes met her’s across the street somedays.
Sometimes, she tries to blame it on sleep. She tells herself the angry feeling bubbling in her stomach is simply a result of the sleepless nights. Of the shaking and panting breaths that shoot from her as she awakes from another never ending nightmare.
But most days, she realizes it’s only an excuse. This sick feeling is reserved only for you, and Ellie wishes she could swallow it down like a shot, but it instead pools in her mouth, poisoning her movements, her thoughts, her everything around you.
When you smile the smile Ellie knew all too well, It only made her feel worse. It shouldn’t, really, Ellie should quirk her lips up in response, wave you over maybe. Joel would have insisted. But lately she just raised a hand in a softer, colder response before finding a new corner to escape down.
Hell, if Joel was here, if things were different, he would have tilted his chin up knowingly when Ellie’s own chin jutted down at the sight of you, her cheeks painted pink with something akin to affection, rather than the near constant shade of frighteningly pale her face seemed to be lately.
He had done so a million times.
When Ellie was only a measly sixteen, telling Joel she just couldn't let you stay the night while Joel and your old man went on a particularly long patrol.
“I barely even know them!” Ellie had fought, her arms crossed over the quickly beating heart in her chest. She knew you, she knew you liked to wear ribbon in your hair, she knew your favorite color was blue because your favorite shoes were that color, and she knew you were pretty. So fucking pretty, the kind that made her stomach turn all mushy and gross when she tried to talk to you over the semi regular shared dinners Joel and a few other older men around town had insisted upon.
Joel just shook his head, seemingly fighting back one of those chuckles that made it sound like he knew something Ellie didn’t. Ellie hated when he did that. “You know them well enough, kid.” was all Joel had responded, patting Ellie’s slumped back.
Joel did it when you coaxed Ellie out of her little garage for dinner inside of Joel’s, a few years later. He would never say anything, not when he could barely get Ellie to say hello anymore, but a look was all that was needed. Green meeting a more tired looking brown for just a split second, and Ellie knew. Joel saw right through the nervous looks Ellie threw your way, saw through how Ellie insisted on totally platonically complimenting you every time you walked through the door. Ellie’s knees were always pointed your way at the table, and Joel always saw.
“They’re pretty,” Joel said later that night, voice careful as he watched Ellie, who watched the dishes she silently cleaned off the table. “Sweet too, too sweet for a hell like this.” Joel could barely finish the words before he heard the creak of the door, before the house was quiet again.
The last time you were brought up, Ellie remembers being cold. She’s often cold now, but the night on the porch was one of the first truly cold nights in Jackson. It stung her nose while she walked outside of the Tipsy Bison, leaving a crowd of shocked faces.
She felt stupid, so stupid that it made the wind feel even icier against her skin. God, why did she have to dance with Dina? Her eyes had been settled on you all fucking night, but Dina was always a firecracker, always tugging Ellie to dance or talk loudly at the bar top. Ellie couldn’t stop heaving as she slammed the door. Did you think they were together too? Did you think Dina was leaning in to kiss her like Seth thought? Dina wasn’t. Ellie wanted to tell you that as soon as Dina’s lips came to her ear, “They’re watching, El.”
But Seth broke the dance before Ellie could. Joel only made it worse in Ellie eyes, and yet you still followed her out the building.
Of course you did.
“Ellie,” she remembers you saying so softly, as if she might break if you had raised your voice even a little. Maybe she would have, she was a fragile thing that night, something easily crushed in your hands. Hands that had been gripped by yours outside the Bar that night.
You were the only one who didn’t look at her like she had two heads after the Seth incident, after her face had gone red at the sight of Joel. Her harsh words to the older man didn’t scare you away, didn’t make you crumble her between your finger tips.
“You should talk to him.” Your breath hit her face, the only warmth in that fucking air, and ellie remembers smelling something that was just as delicate as a pastry, maybe a perfume your father found on a patrol, maybe just you.
You cared. Something Ellie had convinced herself otherwise of, something that didn’t make sense in her mind. Why did you have any worry about she and Joel? How did it concern you at all? But it did, and Ellie listened to you.
Ellie walked up that frosted porch, arms swinging nervously, searching for space on the wooden railing. Ellie let Joel join her, let him ask about you.
“You like them?” Joel’s hands cupped his coffee, his head tilted Ellie’s way.
Ellie remembers so vividly how she turned away, tucking her chin near her shoulder. “I’m so stupid.”
Ellie could see how Joel’s head shook lightly, “You ain’t. They’d be lucky to have you.”
Ellie wishes she answered him that night, wishes she would have sat back on the porch, wishes she didn’t call him an asshole. Ellie wishes a lot of things about that night. Maybe she would have hugged him, if she had known. Maybe she would have started that conversation with forgiveness, rather than a hint of it, thrown at the end of her scrambled words, swallowed by her eyes she willed not to cry.
Ellie wishes for a lot of things, but she knows it’s useless.
Just as useless as avoiding you, now.
You had worn a black ribbon in your hair, the day of Joel’s burial. You had hugged Ellie so tightly, and Ellie almost could feel the heartbeat she swore she lost.
“I’m so sorry,” you had blubbered into her solid frame, and she almost tucked her nose into the skin of your neck, almost let the scent of your perfume calm her. But she just thanked you, pulled back and wiped one of her shaking thumbs over your tear streaked face. She was wiping your tears that day, and somehow it felt like the only right thing to do.
But Ellie remembers that day for another reason. It had been the first day she noticed the sick feeling in her stomach. The first time the hue of pink that always clouded her vision around you was dusted green instead, jealousy clawing at her throat.
She hated it. She hated how she couldn’t look away from where you slumped against your father’s chest. How his hand rubbed your shaking back as his breath puffed out in cold little clouds.
She hated how it reminded her of him.
Ellie stood alone, and watched on, feeling the tightening green branches of whatever awfulness was growing in the pit of her stomach. She cursed whatever it was laying above space, she dug the ball of her feet into the freezing grass and she cursed the earth for leaving her here to have to see this.
She walked home alone that night, shrugging you off with a rather monotone, “Go home, don’t worry about me,” when your eyes met hers in the cold air. She saw how you deflated lightly, saw how your eyes dropped to the ground. It made her feel more nauseous. She swallowed her feelings, the good and the bad, and wrapped her arms around herself as she turned.
That night Ellie veered away from her garage, finding comfort instead on the old couch that sat in Joel’s living room, and she thinks it may be the quietest place she has ever heard. She wonders what you may be doing. Was the creaking of the walls all you heard in your Jackson home too? Surely you hadn’t ripped an old and faded jacket from a closet that did not belong to you to use as a makeshift blanket, like Ellie had.
No, Ellie is sure your father walked close to you all the way home, sure he pulled out the chair at the kitchen table for you and offered you dinner, she’s even sure he had managed to crack a smile from you.
Ellie goes to sleep with a sick stomach.
“You're jealous, that’s natural,” Dina told her a few weeks later, after another stint of that awful green vine rooting itself in Ellie, one that kept her from taking you up on an offer to help clean up Shimmer. The growing seed that made her shake her head at you and offer a small and untruthful, “Don’t need any help.”
Dina handed Ellie a cup of warm tea in the cold garage. Ellie wouldn’t drink it, and she also wouldn’t eat any of the meals the Jackson residents left at her doorstep. But everyone still tried.
“But I shouldn’t be,” Ellie’s voice didn’t sound like her own. It was void of any vibrancy, any spark that Ellie’s tongue usually made. It was empty, spoken coldly. cold for herself, cold for that feeling in her chest.
“You’re grieving, El, it’s ok.”
Dina pressed a kind hand to her shoulder, and despite the way Ellie poisoned you in her mind, she still found herself wishing it was yours instead.
And now, more weeks that all pressed confusingly together had passed. The flower’s outside Joel’s were covered by snow, wilted and drained of life. His house had been empty since Ellie stole some of his old clothes a week back, a jacket that embarrassingly laid on the edge of her chair as she swung open the door of her garage turned home, glancing at another container on her doormat.
It was from you, of course it was. Ellie was sure you had been sent from some sort of heaven she was far too damned to ever access. A small note held your handwriting, and Ellie leaned down, grasping the food, the warmth burning at her frozen fingers.
Maria said she didn't see you at supply day again. I think you’d like this. I remember you eating it a lot at the dinners.
ps. you’re doing great in patrols, glad you went back to them. you’re one of the best jackson has.
xx.
A strand of auburn hair fell across her cheek as her chin dipped down, eyelashes tickling her skin as they closed.
Ellie was avoiding you, you had to have known that. Jesse knew it, Dina knew it, hell, even Tommy had commented on it last time he came by. Sure, Ellie was avoiding nearly everyone still, but it was no secret she turned the corner whenever you and your old man were around.
But here you were, making her food, leaving her notes of praise, complimenting her as if you had any need to. It made Ellie’s always down pointed lip quiver for a moment. You still fucking cared. Just like always.
It didn’t feel nice, it didn’t feel like how it would’ve if she got this note months ago. Then she would’ve clapped a hand over her heated cheek, stuffed it under a notebook like a kid with a crush.
But now, it felt more like an ache. A burning in her chest that made her push the door back open and slide the container on the waiting table near her door.
She should eat it later, that would be the kind thing to do. But the little voice whispers in Ellie’s ear again, the voice that drips poison over the thankfulness blossoming in her chest, ‘You think he helped them make that?’ the voice asked.
The palm of her hand pressed to her eyes as she leaned on the doorway, “Fuck.” Ellie muttered.
She kicked the wood, “Fuck!”
Ellie slammed her already bruised fist on the cracked wood and yelped. The splitting pain broke the girl from her mini temper tantrum, and the empty hand cupped the throbbing skin, a pair of teeth sinking into her bottom lip.
Surely this wasn’t a normal way to react to something so kind, something as simple as food. She didn’t have to overthink every small thing, didn’t have to let her brain flip every positive to a negative, but how does Ellie stop what she has grown so accustomed to?
Ellie’s first attempt to rid her chest of the vines that constricted her ribs was a deep breath and a squeeze of her eyes. She pretends she can smell your perfume still lingering in the air, she imagines your cheeks turned up in a smile, she wonders what color of ribbon you found this week to turn into some new hair tool, and then she exhaled.
Maybe if she thought hard enough, the vines would retreat, the ache on her bones would feel more like the silk of your touch. Maybe she can let herself care more about what you give her, kindness, food, those stupid butterflies she used to feel whenever you spoke, that set of pastel oil paints from a year ago. Rather than letting that voice remind her of all the things you could not give her, things you could not repair.
You hadn’t taken Joel from her, your old man hadn’t either. You having that.. having him, it wouldn’t make any of what Ellie was going through change. She swallowed the truth down like nails as she turned away from the garage.
When Ellie opens her eyes again, her vision seems a little more bright.
By the time Ellie winds up at the stable, she is pressed closely by Dina who tends to Japan, brushing quietly
Ellie breaks the silence first, and it surprises both when the first word from her mouth is your name.
Dina’s gaze shoots over, and Ellie can almost see the thin ice she is debating stepping on, lips parting. You were never an easy topic, and usually when El uttered the syllables of your name, Dina was in for a long and drawn out conversation she never knew truly how to maneuver, the conversation layered with every confusing feeling Ellie had for you. The guilt, the jealousy. Everything in between.
Ellie beats her to speaking again, “They left me food again today. I woke up to it.”
Dina nods slowly, eyes falling back to her horse. “That’s nice of them.”
“It is,” Ellie agrees, flexing her bruising knuckles. “Left a note too, complimenting me and shit.”
The brunette to the side of her pauses for a moment, her boots turning in lightly as she judged her next step. “If you had told me this a year ago, I think you would’ve blabbered for like.. forty minutes about how they were ‘the greatest thing ever to exist’ or convinced me it meant they were in love with you.”
The air is silent, and Dina thinks she may have overstepped.
But the vines have taken on a softer sort of squeezing on Ellie’s chest now, one that felt like the ribbon you wore.
“Yea,” she smiled lightly, and Dina stumbled a bit, maybe out of pure shock. “Yea I probably would have.”
The silence finds them again, though there’s no thickness to it, and Ellie finds her heavy shoulders just slightly less pained for a moment.
Until the stable door swings open, and Ellie watches as Dina’s head turns. She can tell from the look on her face alone, on the way she blinks a few times and glances at Ellie.
You had just walked through.
You walk by where Japan and Shimmer stood, and you smiled like you always did.
This time, Ellie’s chest only tightened lightly. She only felt the small tug of ribbon when she recognized the flannel you had pushed up to your elbows, one she had seen your father wear on patrols many times.
This time, Ellie tries to smile back. She doesn’t let that burn find her stomach, doesn’t let the voice sneer at the clothing and remind Ellie of what she did not have. This time, Ellie speaks instead.
“Thanks for the food.”
You look almost as nervous as Ellie feels. You probably didn’t expect responses by this point.
“Oh it’s no problem,” you shake your head and smile. “Hope you enjoy it.”
Ellie nods, tensing up, useless to decide where this conversation should go, where it could go.
Just as the branches begin to curl around her lungs again, Dina cuts them down with her voice.
“El and I thought about sharing it after patrol today, maybe over some shitty movie. You in?”
The auburn haired girl shoots an aimed look at Dina, but the way you light up and step closer, the way she can smell that pastry scent again, it calms her lightly.
“It’ll be fun,” Ellie offered, voice cracking toward the end.
“Yea,” you smile, toes bouncing like they did when you were excited. Toes covered by your favorite shade of blue shoes. “I’d really like that.”
When you meet Ellie’s eyes, she can see pink instead of green again for the first time.
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hamsternamedmarinette · 10 months
Text
I have so many thoughts on this finale HOLY FREAKING MOLY!!!!!!!!! 
First of all I’m surprised at the few posts I’ve seen so far expressing disappointment at how things “wrapped up.” Because I found it pretty obvious that this definitely is not the end!!! But the ending right now, in my opinion, was perfect BECAUSE of that underlying bittersweetness! I know we all hate the idea of the love square keeping secrets from each other, but the alternative to this was to have Adrien’s world COMPLETELY crashing down all at once, and in my opinion that wouldn’t have been satisfying at all. It would have just been uncomfortably tragic. I think it’s much more satisfying storytelling to let him have his moment of peace now, after all this horror, then pick everything up with the next season. 
And as for Gabriel Agreste being remembered as the city’s hero, yeah it’s unfair, but that’s honestly why I love it!!!! The idea of the city living in peace and happiness and remembering this man as the good guy, but only Marinette knows the truth??? THAT’S THE GOOD ANGST RIGHT THERE!!!!! I’m so surprised I’m not seeing more people sharing that opinion!!! Like I said, is it fair? No!! Is it gosh darn interesting and intriguing storytelling?? HECK YEAH!!!!!!!!! I’m obsessed!!! 
And the way it left off with Lila being the new butterfly miraculous holder!!! Like come on, it’s so obvious that “Adrien being lied to about his father’s identity” isn’t the endgame here. Lila still has proof of Gabriel’s identity as Hawk Moth, and now she’s the Big Bad. I can’t believe I’m the one saying this, given how I’ve felt about this show’s writing in the past, but have some faith in the story, guys!!! It’s clear Adrien’s story isn’t over! 
All in all I found this finale epic and awesome and satisfying, and I don’t care if I’m the only one who feels that way, I’m utterly obsessed. 
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roanniom · 1 year
Note
i doubt it helps, but i also think eddie is the type to try to be respectful at a family holiday party but ultimately end up wanting to fuck you in a guest room or finger you in a closet at the very least 🫠
Hahahahaha this made it so much worse in the best possible way, I love you anon.
Bad for the Holidays
Eddie Munson x Fem!reader
Note: I wrote most of this in my childhood bedroom while visiting home for thanksgiving. So this got very real, guys Lmao
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY!, teasing, dirty talk, pet names (Princess, bad girl, baby girl), alcohol consumption, oral sex (m receiving), PIV sex / unprotected sex, hand job, cum eating, semi public sex? (Your family is in the same house at the time)
Eddie Munson never thought he’d find himself at a holiday party straight out of a fucking Norman Rockwell painting, but then again he’d never thought he’d meet someone like you. Someone funny and kind and intelligent while simultaneously cool as hell and hot as hell. You’re everything he’d never let himself hope for, and he’s nothing like what he believes you deserve. Not that you listen to him when he voices his fears over not being good enough for you.
“Stop fidgeting, Eddie. This isn’t a big deal,” you whisper to him as the two of you stand on your door step. You pry open his tense fist to hold his hand in yours and he takes a deep breath, looking down at your smile. “They’re gonna love you.”
“Yeah but what if…what if they don’t?” Eddie mumbles. His brow is furrowed and his lips pout and all you want to do is kiss his frown away. But you know there’s no time for that. So you shake your head and squeeze his hand.
“I love you, so that’s all that matters,” you reassure him. “But this conversation is silly because they’re gonna love you.”
And you’re right. Of course. How could people not love Eddie? Especially people who loved you and who wanted to see you happy. And Eddie makes you the happiest you’ve ever been, and that just radiates off you when you walk into the room, proud to show off your boyfriend.
Eddie’s rough around the edges when you first meet him, sure. But he’s gone to great lengths to appear even more presentable than usual tonight, wearing a clean black button down and black jeans that don’t even have any holes in the knees. Before long, and exactly as you knew would happen, Eddie’s regaling your extended family with stories about his friends back in Hawkins and about life on tour as an up snd coming musician.
It’s pretty late by the time things start winding down. The dinner’s long done, your parents have gone to sleep and most of the older family members have puttered off with leftovers in tow. That’s just left you and Eddie with the crowd closer to your age - and amalgamation of cousins and friends of the family in their early to mid twenties. You all play a few rounds of board games and a few glasses of wine deep, Eddie starts looking way more appetizing than the holiday dinner.
You stare at him over your wine glass as one of your cousins prattle’s on about some drama going on at her job. But you can barely hear her because you’re watching Eddie pal around with Josh, your neighbor who you’d crushed on growing up. Next to Eddie, neighbor boy is absolutely nothing, an observation you make silently and with pride. Your boyfriend has an easy air to him, lounging back against the couch as he speaks, legs spread wide and casual. He looks completely at ease, comfortable in his spread out position. If you weren’t still in front of family you’d walk right over there and straddle him there and then. You lick your lips and silently hate him for the way he’s done absolutely nothing and yet has fully managed to get you salivating from afar. It’s unfair.
You couldn’t possibly know, however, just how much you’ve been driving him crazy all night. Bending over to pick things up in your tight little party dress. Munching on appetizers behind your red lips, licking your fingers clean of any crumbs or sauce. Pushing up against him when the two of you passed through narrow hallways and through crowded parts of the house.
He’s been working so hard not to pop an erection in this, the most inappropriate of venues, that he’s spent the last half hour practically avoiding you. When he looks up from his conversation with your boring neighbor, however, just to find you fucking him with your eyes from across the room, he thinks he’s going to combust.
You notice him frown when you finally catch his eye, but you don’t care enough to wonder what’s bothering him. Instead you wink at him - making his jaw drop - before raising your arms in a theatrical stretch with a matching dramatic yawn.
“God, I’m beat. Got a long drive home tomorrow,” you say to nobody in particular. Friends and family try to protest but you jump up and haul Eddie along after you, dragging him out the door.
When you finally make it to your childhood bedroom, you push Eddie towards the bed and lock the door all in one swift motion. You’ve kicked off your shoes and you’re reaching for the zipper of your dress before Eddie’s grabbing at your hips to stop you.
“What in the world are you doing?” he asks through gritted teeth, panic in his eyes. He’s sitting on your bed with you standing in front of him, his hands holding your wrists motionless to halt your effort to disrobe.
“I…I’m trying to get naked. And you should be doing the same,” you reply. Confused by the question in the first place. Eddie gazes up at you with. Wide eyes.
“But your family is like…right outside.”
“So?” you ask, now genuinely confused.
“And you’re tryna…you want to…”
“Fuck. I wanna fuck you. What’s the problem?” You let out an incredulous laugh. His grip loosens on your wrists so you circle your arms around his neck, massaging his shoulders. He seems to grapple for words so you continue to speak. “I don’t get it. You fuck me with my roommates in the next room all the time!”
“First of all, Nancy and Robin have made us listen to them having sex all the time and you know it,” he huffs immediately, but then returns to looking stressed. “And I’m friend with them. I don’t need to impress them…”
Your heart flips at the sentiment but you shake your head.
“You don’t need to impress anyone here either,” you argue, but Eddie’s having none of it. He springs to his feet in front of you, gripping your waist to pull you against him.
“That’s not fucking true and you know it, Princess.” He runs an aggravated hand through his curly hair. “I’m a freak. Your family wants - at least they should want - someone better for you than—,”
“Shut up. Shut up shut up,” you hiss, smacking his chest lightly with your open palm. “Nobody here knows your reputation from Hawkins, and even if they did, it wouldn’t matter because I’m fucking head over heels for you. You got that?”
“Yes ma’am,” Eddie says weakly, the ghost of a smile starting to curl at the corners of his mouth at how worked up you got all of us sudden.
“Now,” you say definitively, taking a step back to put your hands on your hips and take a deep breath. “I had three glasses of wine and I’m feeling…” you cast about for the right word and not being able to remember the word ‘horny’ you say the next best thing you can think of “…frisky. So you’re going to shut up and fuck me, snd you’re going to like it. Understand.”
Eddie looks dumbfounded, gazing at you with a mix of adoration, awe, and humor. He nods emphatically and you take another shuddering breath.
“Ok good. Help me take my clothes off.”
You expect him to crowd you. To throw you on the bed and rip off your dress and be on you so fast you barely see him coming.
Instead he walks over to you slowly, his eyes dark and lips pulled into a small smile. He steps around you to find the zipper you’d struggle with, lips finding the back of your neck as he pushes the zip all the way down to the curve of your lower back. He kisses his way over your shoulder as he pushes the fabric down and off your body. You shiver under his lips and the cool air you’re now exposed to. His hands find the front clasp of your bra - after making a pitstop to squeeze your breasts - and soon your bra joins your dress on the floor.
Eddie mouths at the side of your throat now as his hands grope every square inch he can reach, the bulge in his jeans pressing into your ass through the thin fabric of your panties.
It’s Heaven. Or close. The only thing is that it is noticeably, deafeningly quiet.
“W-why - oh. Why aren’t you saying anything?” you mumble out. Eddie chuckles against your skin and hips at your ear lobe.
“Told me to shut up,” he whispers. His hand slides forward to cup your mound and you swallow a moan.
“Oh so now you listen to what I tell you,” you bristle. Eddie’s chuckle vibrates through you again and you grind back against him intentionally. You grab his hand and shove it into your panties, no longer satisfied being touched through the fabric.
“I forgot. My baby’s feeling…frisky.” His voice is low and rich with amusement and sensuality. You huff but don’t protest because his big, thick fingers are finally where you wanted them all night. Swirling through your slick, his middle finger prodding at your entrance but not yet pushing in.
You try to step forward to urge him toward the bed, but Eddie pushes you to the side, his free hand coming to brace up against the wall in front of you.
“Not so fast. That bed is squeaky as hell,” he mutters between kisses to your shoulder.
“Well yeah. It’s almost as old as me,” you say, rolling your eyes.
“Yeah, and you squeak under me all the time too, Princess.” You go to roll your eyes again at his cocky tone but the quickly roll back into your head as he shoves not one but two fingers into your tight heat. You let out a high pitched squeal that you do your best to smother with your hand and he laughs. “See? What did I tell you?”
You don’t say anything at first because you’re so lost in the feeling of finally getting what you want. Eddie leans his weight against you as he picks up momentum with his hand, and you find your front getting pressed up against the wall.
“Needed you aaaaaall fucking day, Princess. You’re absolutely infuriating,” Eddie says raggedly into the back of your neck. His fingers hook up and you gasp at the added pleasure.
“How am I - oh god. In…infuriating?” you barely manage to ask in response.
“Tried to be on my best behavior. But you had to prance around looking like a fucking wet dream, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t do anything…” you try to argue, but Eddie snaps the waistband of your panties, stretched out as they are from his fingering, and you flinch.
“Oh yeah? Then why did I know the color of your panties by the time we started dinner?”
He’s right of course. You’d been intentionally finding reasons to bend over in front of him, or cross and uncross your legs in front of him - anything to draw his attention between your thighs. As if his attention was ever anywhere else to begin with.
“Wanted to make me slip up, huh? Wanted me to drag you into the bathroom in the middle of dinner and fuck your brains out?”
“Yes!” you gasp, though you’re less sure that you’re affirming his statement and more sure that your orgasm is fast approaching. “Oh fuck, Eddie.”
“Bend over,” he says suddenly. His voice is more demanding than usual and a thrill runs up your spine. He steps back and gives you room, which you use to shuffle a bit to the side and lean over, bracing your palms against the seat of an old wicker chair you’ve had in your room since elementary school. With your ass up, you half worry that Eddie will forget where you are and spank you loudly, but he seems to remember and opts to grope you instead. He slides your panties to your ankles and you step out of them, widening your stance in a way that has him humming appreciatively behind you.
You steal a glance over your shoulder to confirm the suspicion that he is, in fact, fisting his hard cock, staring at your ready pussy and lining himself up.
“You play the good girl so well, but you’re just a bad girl for me, isn’t that right Princess?” Eddie asks as he pushes the tip of his cock in a circle around your aching entrance. You whine at the fact that he’s not yet inside you, trying to push back to make him slide in. Eddie laughs and grips you by your hips, hauling them higher and making your knees shake. “Look at you. Not even listening because you want my cock that bad.”
You toss a glare over your shoulder at him.
“Eddie if you don’t get inside me right - fuck!” You hiss through your teeth when he slides all the way into you at once. One hand slides down the small of your back, up your spine, to grip solidly at the back of your neck as he wastes absolutely no time getting a good pace going.
The slap of skin on skin ringing out in your small childhood bedroom is absolutely obscene, as are the whimpers that spill out of you despite your best efforts.
“Eddie…so fucking - oh!”
You’re trying to tell him how good he’s making you feel, but you’re sure he’s able to gather that from the way you’re completely unable to finish your statement. Eddie’s chuckle vibrates into your body and you reach back one hand to clutch at his where it holds you at your hip.
“Feels good, baby? Hm?” he asks, almost mockingly but you can’t muster enough energy to reply in any way aside from genuine.
“Feels so good, Eds,” you whimper. Despite his teasing, the way you’re scrabbling to make contact with him tugs at his heartstrings. He lifts his hand up from your hip enough to grab your reaching one.
“Christ, even when you’re a bad girl, you’re still so fucking sweet,” he mumbles, leaning down over you to press bruising kisses to your back and shoulders. You pant beneath him and relish in the additional contact.
“Eddie…mmm Eddie. So full.”
“Fuck. You can’t say shit like that when you haven’t cum yet, princess. I’m only fucking human, I’m gonna fucking blow.”
“Good! Give it to me,” you whine out, and Eddie pretty much loses it.
“Ok, come here my lil greedy baby,” Eddie says gruffly, though not without humor. He pulls out of you - and he has to shush you when you whine in protest - before hauling you around so that he’s sitting on your wicker chair and sliding you into his lap.
“Fucking yes. Oh my god yes.” You’re practically crying now as Eddie gets straight to bouncing you up and down on his cock. You cling to him, your fingers tightening in his wild curly hair as you breathe heavily and gaze at him with unfocused eyes.
“You’re just a horny little mess, aren’t you?” Eddie chuckles darkly. You nod and grip at his shoulders so the leverage let’s you help him move you up and down on his lap. Eddie kisses at the hollow at the base of your throat before looking back into your hazy eyes. “Hey. You with me?” He lightly taps your cheek with his palm when you don’t respond, so far gone in pleasure.
“Y-yeah?” you hiccup. Since you’re bouncing enough on your own shaking thighs, Eddie’s able to slide a free hand from the meat of your hips down to start playing at your clit. So you’re even farther gone now.
“Did you bring any turtlenecks in that little suitcase of yours?” Eddie asks you and your brow knits on what he finds to be a cute little scrunch as you struggle to comprehend the question.
“Yeah I brought one—oh my fucking god…”
Before you’d even finished answering his question, Eddie’s sucking and nipping at the skin of your throat. An action he knows can send you over the edge.
And it does.
You cum in a burst of pleasure that has you rocking against Eddie desperately, clinging to him as you do your best to keep him inside you at the deepest point for as long as possible.
Eddie, to his credit, let’s you do what you want with him. He holds your face in his hands and presses your foreheads together, nodding at your quiet moans.
“There it is. That’s what you wanted, sweet girl? That’s it.”
He’s patient as you come down from your high, but it’s his dick that twitches expectantly inside you which reminds you he still has to cum.
You do your best to start bouncing again, but your legs are shaky. Eddie laughs and stills you, his big hands on your waist, and you grumble.
“Shhh don’t worry about that. It’s good enough just hold you,” he reassures you. You look at him with bleary, pleasure soaked eyes.
“No. You need to cum, too,” you insist. Eddie shrugs, clearly content.
“Having my dick deep inside you is enough of a win, Princess,” he says with a chuckle.
But you’re having none of it. You struggle to your feet and then slide down to the floor in front of him to settle down on your knees. Eddie’s eye go wide and you grip his wet cock, fisting up and down on his lap.
“In high school I wouldn’t even listen to songs with dirty lyrics. Now my boyfriend’s dick is out while he sits on my reading chair in my childhood bedroom,” you observe irreverently with a laugh. Eddie joins in, though his laugh is more strained the longer you jerk him off.
“That’s what I was saying. Everyone thinks you’re so innocent. And yet here you are - just got your brains fucked out and now you’re on your knees for me.”
As if to punctuate and prove his statement, you lean forward and swallow him whole, your cheeks hollowing to create a tantalizing amount of suction,
“Oh mother of - fuck!” Eddie whispers harshly. You bob up and down on his cock without preamble. You could tell how close he was from the near steady stream of pre-cum that leaked from his tip.
Your hands knead into his thighs as you take him deeper and deeper, being careful not to gag too loudly when his spongey head hits the back of your throat.
“Fuck, Princess. That’s…oh god that’s…”
He’s rendered even more speechless when you grab his hand and place it on the back of your head, pressing down to indicate that you’d like him to control your movements. Something you’d never done with previous lovers. Only Eddie.
Eddie curses under his breath and blinks rapidly before doing as you’ve asked him to do - guiding you up and down on his cock by his grip on the back of your head. His cock pushes deep into your throat and Eddie’s eyes roll back into his skull.
“Jesus H. Christ you’re such a bad girl, letting me do this right now. Such a bad fucking girl.” He’s rambling at this point and you love it. You snake a hand between your thighs and begin playing with your clit as he fucks your throat. Overwhelmed by the feeling of him using you and the nature of his words.
When he lets you pull back to finally breath, you choke and sputter before speaking up, voice wrecked.
“Like being a bad girl for you, Eds,” you moan against his balls, jerking his spit and slick soaked cock with your hand. Eddie’s sure he won’t survive this and closes his eyes against the intense pleasure conjured up by the image of you before him.
“God, you get so messy for me, Princess. You know I love that.” You nod frantically and that’s when he notices your other hand has disappeared between your legs, touching yourself. He bites his lip to smother his groan. “Were you really touching yourself while choking on my dick, baby?”
You nod again with wide, doe eyes.
“I wanna cum again,” you say simply, brow knitting together from the way you toy with your clit feverishly. “But I want you to cum, too.”
“Baby girl, you keep looking at me and touching me like that, I’m gonna cum any second.”
Your breath speeds up and so does your finger on your clit. Your fist moves faster up and down his cock and you know he’s close, so you scootch up even closer between his spread thighs.
“Where d’you wanna cum, Eddie?” you ask. “My face? My tongue? My tits?” You model each option for him, turning your head to offer your cheek, sticking out your tongue, and shimmying your naked chest to make your breasts bounce.
“Oh shit oh shit…” Is all Eddie can say as his eyes zero in on your tits. His abdomen seizes and you deliver a handful more expert tugs, angling his cock towards your chest just in time. His white cum paints your tits just as your own second orgasm takes over, making your spasm a bit and concave into yourself.
It’s another minute or two before either of you move, your hand finally stilling and letting go of his softening cock. Eddie slumps back against the chair and rubs his eyes harshly with the heels of his hands before gazing back down at your messy figure.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Princess…” he mutters low. You simply grin at him, gathering the cum on your tits and placing it in your mouth with a happy hum.
“Thanks for my present, Eddie,” you say in a lilting voice and Eddie rolls his eyes at you, reaching down to haul you up off the floor and into his lap.
“If anyone in your family heard that and decides they don’t like me because someone couldn’t keep it in her pants…” he grumbles the threat half heartedly, contradicting his own tone by kissing your throat. Right on the fresh bruise that you will definitely need to cover with a turtleneck tomorrow. You giggle and cling to him.
“Nobody heard it. And besides, isn’t keeping me happy the most important thing?” you ask cheekily. Eddie laughs, a little closer to full volume this time, and crushes you to his chest.
“You happy, Princess?” he asks a beat later. Despite the volume of his laugh, the question comes out quieter. As if he’s not 100% certain what your answer will be. You pull back and take his face in your hands so you can imbue your response with all the strength you can muster after being fucked so good.
“I’m absurdly happy, Eddie Munson. And you better be, too, because I don’t plan on giving this up any time soon.”
He kisses you stupid in response, finally deciding the squeaky bed will have to do and hauling you over to start getting ready for sleep.
~*~
The next morning over coffee, eggs, and toast you get to witness yet again just how much your boyfriend has charmed your family and friends. They hang on his every word, laugh at his jokes, and ask him questions. And you know they aren’t just being nice, because they’ve never been this nice to any guy you’ve brought home before.
Watching Eddie regale some of your cousins with a particularly silly story from his latest small town tour, the sun hits him just right as it filters through the kitchen window. He’s back lit, haloing his hair and making him look particularly handsome. Your heart swells and you can’t take the yearning adoration that fills you to the brim.
To offset the achingly sweet emotions swirling within you, you have to do something silly. When Eddie looks at you over someone’s shoulder, you mouth “you’re fucking hot” at him and his face lights up in a massive grin, shaking his head. He mouths back -
“You’re bad.”
~*~
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websterss · 3 months
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 — 𝐀𝐙𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐋
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You and Azriel had dreamed of nothing more than to be parents. You were ready for it, you just weren't prepared to have that dream be ripped away.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒): angst, mentions of death, mentions of slight blood not really, mentions of stillbirth, grievance, and mourning, just angst all around really...
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3,038
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Azriel x fem!Reader
𝐀/𝐍: I hope you like it! I work with children so sometimes I get a cute teacher!reader idea fics. I was asked to help out in the early head start classes last week and well, being around 1-3 years old made me emotional, also I've been sad lately so this fic was the end result of how I've been feeling...also this is my first azriel fic and I'm fucking nervous...anyway let me know what you guys think!
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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You had dreamed of a life worth waking up to…in the room down the hall. Dreamed of the cuddles and nose kisses that would cure your bad woes away. Dreamed of the giggles and laughter, ones you’d hope would be replications of yours and Azriels combined. Dreamed of the late-night cries and restless nights of sleep. You wanted it…more than anything else. You wanted the life you were ready to live that awaited behind the door with the blue and pink butterflies.
The room you spent countless hours parading around and holding up color swatches to. It drove Azriel mad, having you make him repaint and coat with a new color you fell hopelessly in love with, but you knew he’d do it all over again to hold onto the hope you shared that was now gone.
Azriel stood at your bedroom door, his chest closing in on itself as he felt you hurt. He felt your hate, your grief…he felt empty knowing that the stillbirth wasn’t felt one-sided. He felt the loss of his two unborn babes.
You spent the days in your bed crying. Your bedsheets and pillowcases had long since turned soggy, and you no longer had the energy to cry any harder. Azriel took the brunch of your earlier breakdowns. holding you as you wept and pleaded to have them back. It had taken Rhysand to shut down your mind. Having you fall head forward into Azriel's neck as he held you.
“Rhys…please! I beg of you!” Azriel had cried out to his brother for help. Your pain had gone right down to his side of his bond and as much as he didn't want to he needed a moment's worth of quiet. Rhysand had only nodded cupping his brother's crying face, knowing Azriel wasn't doing this out of anger, but because he wanted you both to stop hurting for just one night, but that pain would never stop coming.
“Don’t you dare…don’t you dare! Rhysand no!” You wept as Azriel held you in his arms. “I don’t wanna sleep…I don’t wanna sleep yet…” It only took one glance at Azriel and Rhysand had pressed his forefingers against both your temples. Azriel eyes shut, and the last thing he heard was your whimpers dying out quietly.
His betrayal hurt, but your body ached more, your heart throbbed, and your stomach twisted into knots. You had done everything to prepare for their arrival. Had spent hours selecting their names, stocking the nursery, and speaking to them every day. Now you barely had the strength to get up and eat. Much less Azriel but he was doing his best to hold it together for you both. He lost two precious gems, he didn’t want to end up losing his beautiful diamond too.
He watched with a heavy heart as Madja checked your pulse for the umpteenth time this week.
“It would be best to start eating child.”
“I did everything you asked of me...” You murmured staring off into space.
“You need to gain your strength back, little one. Don’t tell anyone but you’re my favorite apprentice I've ever had. I’d hate to see you go so soon.” Madja brushed back your hair.
“I did everything right Madja…” Your breaths growing labored again.
“I know child. I know you did.” Madja's heart ached for you both. “Unfortunate and unfair circumstances.” She mourned for the beautiful twins she had to help you deliver. She looked up at Azriel as he hastily wiped a tear from his cheek.
“Child, when is the last time you’ve eaten?” She directed her firm tone at the Shadowsinger.
“I don’t want to eat.” You muttered.
“I won’t eat until she does.” You and Azriel spoke at the same time.
“Stubborn…” Madja cursed amongst something else you couldn’t comprehend.
Madja let out a small sigh before she pulled you into an embrace and pressed your head into her shoulder as she rubbed your back. In your moment of vulnerability, your emotions grew even more intense. You felt the tears on your cheeks mix with Madja's as she kissed your temple. Madja's heart broke seeing the once vibrant young woman that filled rooms with joy and energy, turn into a lifeless zombie of her former self. She broke seeing Azriel lose himself even further, falling back into his shadows for comfort. He resembled that of a scared lost babe, trying to find his way home again. When she received the call from Feyre, she knew the whirlwind of emotions that was going to follow.
-
"Where is she?" She called out as soon as she and Rhysand winnowed in. She didn't even think about it when she stuffed her bag with everything she needed.
"Third door down. The girls are trying to keep her calm... nothing's working." Rhysand followed right on her tail.
"She's having twins Rhysand of course not child!" Madja cursed as she hurried her footsteps.
The scene before her was a mess. The house a disarray, and the living room thrashed, probably where the panic started. She heard Feyra and Nesta ordering Cassian for more towels from upstairs. She climbed up to the second landing. Her eyes immediately fell onto Azriel's, finding him holding his stomach in pain with tears in his eyes, as he sat with his knees to his chest.
"Madja I can't feel them-" He could barely get out before she walked right past him.
"Get him up." She called over his shoulder. "I need you three in there."
"Why?" Rhysand asked as she followed the cacophony of your wails of anguish.
"I need you three to help hold her down, the girls won't be enough."
"Hold her down?"
"Get him up!" Rhysand had scrambled to haul him up on his feet. Ushering him into the room he had half a mind to go into. Azriel cried harder seeing your blood stain the sheets.
"Madja-" You cried out to her. Slightly relieved she was finally here to help you. "I-I can't feel—feel them. I can't feel—" You choked up.
"I'm here child. I'm here." Madja cleaned her hands and then checked under your nightgown. Your heart sank as she tried keeping her eyes at bay from watering. She hovered her hand over your stomach and as she paused, you knew it wasn't a good sign.
"M-Me or them?" Your lips quivered. "Madja? W-What's wrong? Are they okay? If you can...save them please. S-Save my babies please!" The healer only continued to remain silent. She looked up briefly at Feyre and Rhysand, her mind opening up to them.
Madja? Rhysand bent his chin in concern.
I cannot feel they're heartbeats. She thought. Feyre shed a tear at the news.
"Madja?" Azriel's voice pulled her thoughts away. "Are the babes okay?"
"Child..." She began somberly.
"T-Tell me..." You inhaled deeply, gripping Azriel's and Rhysand's arms tighter.
"...I can no longer feel their heartbeats. The twins I'm afraid are stillborn my child." A tear shed down her cheek.
"N-No." Your grip loosened up, as Azriel's grew stronger.
"And I need you to be very strong for me for this next part because you need to push them out."
"I-I can't-" You began to protest.
"You can! I know you can. You, my dear are the strongest person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing...and I will be here with you every step of the way. We all will."
You had barely mustered a disheartened nod before she told you to begin pushing.
-
“You both are a pain in my ass…a beautiful pain…but still a pain.” Madja shook her head, hearing Azriel scoff at her choice of comforting words. “Can I be honest?”
“You always are…” Azriel grumbled now shifting to the end of the frame of the bed.
“I do not care if you don’t want to eat. you need to eat. Precisely because I don’t want to have to receive an urgent call from Rhysand or Feyre telling me you idiots gave out on us. I refuse to have you leave this world so soon.” You looked up and met her arched brow.
“Madja—“ You began to protest.
“Eat. Both of you or I'll shove my hand down your throats and force-feed you.” Madja gestured to the nightstand with a tray stacked with two bowls and glasses. You’d been eating a few crackers, but she didn’t think that was enough. She had brought over soup from the kitchen in hopes you’d finally get some real food in your gut.
Azriel and you shared glances that told her you’d rather starve together than either of you eat at different times. Madja was about to argue but she knew she’d be arguing into the wind with you two. Your bond was too strong.
”I don’t want anything Madja...” Was your only reply as you hid your gaze from the healer and your mate, whose faces were so deeply etched with worry. Azriel was taking your pain on like he deserved it. Slowly withering away alongside you. It was you and him against the world, against death if that's how you wanted it. He wouldn't let you go alone. "It hurts..."
”I understand it hurts, but you gotta put something in your stomach or it’s gonna hurt even more.”
“Please…” You pleaded again, your voice hoarse and cracking as you spoke.
“Please Madja...” Azriel was soon echoing your pleas with the same breathless voice as tears formed at the corners of his eyes.
"Come." She motioned Azriel to sit on the other side of the bed.
Azriel met your somber gaze before he walked over and slipped into the bed with you. Shifting closer until his chest was pressed against your back. You slowly moved your head from Madja's chest and leaned it back against Azriel's chest. Madja looked between the two of you and gave a slight nod. The two of you both watched as she twisted around and then placed the tray down in the middle of your laps. She gripped both your hands before gesturing to the soup with crackers.
"Won't eat together, then you start together. Eat, I talk." You grumbled then let your shoulders fall at the two spoons she held out for you both. You took one from her, as did Azriel before allowing you to slowly sit up. Once situated, Azriel watched you slowly take the first spoonful then took one of his own from the bowl. His shadows vivaciously sprang to life as you both ate in silence together. "It won't pass...not for a long time." You both looked up at her for a moment before looking down again.
Azriel swallowed the soup without tasting it. It would take more time for him to start eating at a regular pace again. He took his time, enjoying the warmth of the soup as it slid down his throat. As you started to eat a little more from the bowl, he kept his gaze trained on you, watching every movement you made. He had not stopped worrying about you. You were weak and vulnerable in this state, as was he, but he refused to let you fall again. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your temple as a tear fell down your cheek. When you cried, he wasn’t far from crying too. Tears of his own soon fell at the feeling of that bubble of anguish building up in your chest again.
"This kind of loss…it stays with you forever. The empty hole in your chests." She puts her finger in the center of your sternum gently. "That my dear child will fill itself up again within time. I'm not going to give you my apologies because I know you both have had enough of everyone's condolences, but I can give you the reassurance as your healer, and your friend, that it'll happen again, and again, and if doesn't then you can try again another time."
Azriel listened but remained silent. He had always been one who believed actions spoke louder than words. He couldn't force himself to believe that the pain and sorrow would eventually pass, but he could trust in her words this time. Her actions had proven themselves enough, you wouldn't be sitting beside him without her. If there was anyone he would be willing to trust it was Madja. She had been another mother figure to him after losing the two he did have. Her words brought an empty comfort to him, but her love brought warmth and familiarity like that of a mother's embrace. He knew she meant well. Madja always tried.
Madja's words of promise brought Azriel some hope. You could see the worry in his expression as he chewed on a spoonful of soup and nodded to her words. He knew she was right. If it wasn't meant to be now then you could always try again in the future. Madja's fingers caressed your skin softly. She could see the grief that lingered in your eyes. Her hand grazed against your cheek tenderly and her thumb swiped your tear away.
“And if it doesn’t?” You asked, your head tilting to one side as she spoke. You felt so lost now, so confused about what was to be of your grieving family of two right now. If you’d be okay after this and how you were supposed to move on. She had offered hope to fill the empty gap, but that void of that missing piece in your heart ached. It ached for your twins that you wanted more than anything to be resting in a cradle next to your and Azriel's bed, or for that night to have been a promise of new life blooming from within you, instead of death taking it from within you.
Azriel's head fell to the side, his gaze drifting to your intertwined hands. He knew that Madja meant well, but it didn't make her words any less painful to hear. He wanted more than anything to see your belly swell again. To fall asleep each night knowing you were cradling two precious gems within you. The thought of that possibility made his heartache. He couldn't even imagine the thought of trying again, it was too much.
"I don't want it to happen again Madja…I don't want to experience this pain again." You whispered, your voice shaking as you let out another sob. The pain was only going to get worse, and you weren't sure what to do. To you, it wasn’t even about conceiving another baby, but the fact that you lost the twins you held so dearly within your womb. Azriel gently scooted you closer into his arms. Your bodies pressed against each other as he pulled you into a gentle hug. "I don't think I could go through that again." You shook your head.
“Neither could I…” Azriel whispered. He kept his eyes focused on you as he caressed your back and held you close. It wasn’t so much the grief that caused your hearts to break, but the thought of going through the journey again only to have the same results. Would you be able to handle losing your babes again? Azriel knew he wouldn't be able to. Would there be a point break in your hearts that you both wouldn't be able to take on any more pain? That thought alone scares him. Azriel pulled you into his body, burying his head into your hair. His body shook with every word he tried to hold back, but his voice gave way.
"I'm sorry my love..." He mumbled with his lips pressed against your forehead as he hugged you tighter. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the images of you almost giving out on him. You could feel the drops of his tears fall on you, but he refused to let go. Azriel held you close, his breathing becoming heavy as memories of the night flooded his mind heavily.
"I'm here..." You whispered sweet nothings of reassurance to him.
“I can't promise that we won't go through this again…” Madja’s heart skipped a beat at your tear-filled eyes. You both wanted nothing more than to conceive another precious babe in the future if you're both up for it again surely, but you both fear the heartache that would follow if it takes the same turn again. Madja is right, that kind of pain will never truly heal or leave you. You can only pray that it won't happen again. You both turn to her. "But I can promise you'll have many many beautiful babies. Your body will allow it my child that is my reassurance. I can't take away your pain, your grievance of your lost twins, but I can give you the hope for better days and the expansion of your little family that will continue to grow and grow." She brought her hands up and cupped the sides of your faces.
"Promise?!" Azriel's voice was filled with hopefulness as if he could already see the light at the end of this dark and twisted tunnel. You could finally see some relief wash over him as she explained. His hands reached up and rested against her palm as he focused on her every word.
Madja's words brought you comfort, at least for now. Her promise of conceiving future babies gave you hope that one day you'd still have your dream of a big family with Azriel. You wouldn't have to carry the weight of the twins' death on your shoulders alone. You had Azriel alongside you, and Rhysand, and Feyre, and Nesta, and Cassian, and Mor, and Amren, and Madja. She was right though, she always was–the hollow of sadness wouldn't go away, but it could be filled. You'd make sure to make that empty in ache that burned you whole again, if not now, then you and Azriel would have the future and many years to come. That was all you could hope for now.
"That I can promise you." You both nodded as she pulled you into her embrace. Your and Azriel's minds wander further down the hall, where the door remains closed. The door with the blue and pink butterflies. 
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waywardcrow · 5 months
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Gorgeous.
Summary: Bucky is so gorgeous and you need to tell him in a very particular way.
Warnings: English is not my first language so please if I make a mistake tell me, alcohol, drunk rambles, fluff, a tiny bit of angst but not really, Bucky being Bucky, this was very self-indulgent and inspired in that Taylor Swift song we all love, if I forgot something please let me know.
I do not consent to my work being copied, translated or reposted.
“I can’t stop looking at you, it’s infuriating” you needed to stop talking but the alcohol in your veins only fuels more your infatuation with the super soldier who looked at you with a smirk. “And why is that, sweetheart?” he asked like he didn’t knew, the little shit. You scoffed while making yourself comfortable in your seat –his lap- and rolled your eyes. He was so damn handsome, even in the multiple color lights that Tony arranged for the party and the music was so loud that you had to talk very close to him so Bucky could hear you which also didn't help, you could see every freckle, every little beautiful detail. “Barnes, you know why” It was impossible that he didn’t knew you were crazy about him, always daydreaming about his eyes so blue that you could drown in them, his dark hair that looked so soft to the touch, his smirk full of charm, all about him made it very difficult to even meet his eye and you weren’t the only one. Agents, lab assistants, even the damn journalist who interview the team a few days back, all of them fell victims of him. “I swear I have no idea what are you talking about, love.” He started to rub circles in your back, his cold vibranium hand sending shivers at the contact with your skin. The simple navy blue dress you chose for Yelena’s birthday was apparently enough to catch his attention but it wasn’t enough for you, he was in your thoughts since you two met and Bucky didn’t seemed to understand it.
“Because you are gorgeous, you cheeky son of a bitch” that was your answer when his smile got wider, as if he found pleasure in troubling you, the words were starting to blur in your tongue, most likely for the shots you had with Natasha and Maria but the need to tell Bucky everything that was in your heart burned in your tongue just like tequila “you are so fucking handsome that I can barely believe you are real and your laugh makes me feel all tingly and full of joy at the same time” you averted your eyes but his stare burn in your skin to make you know his attention was on you “and you make me feel so at peace that is aggravating.” The rest of the team was distracted which was good, if someone else could listen to you talk right now, they will never let you hear the end of it. “Sweetheart…” “Let me finish Barnes” you interrupted, his amused surprise made you sigh when you saw him bit his lip “see? That´s the shit I’m talking about, no one should look this fine, you should really think about the consequences of doing stuff like that in front of me or any other person, I don’t think your girlfriend approves, if you have a girlfriend in the first place. Bucky’s eyebrows got up, that was interesting.
“My girlfriend, huh?” “Yeah, or your girlfriends or boyfriend, boyfriends, significant one” you started rambling because who were you to assume things about him? His laugh broke your train of thought, leaving you in awe of such spectacle “this is so unfair.” You mumbled tracing with your fingertips the smile lines surrounding his eyes, all the embarrassment and concern about his love life forgotten. “You are one to talk about it, doll” he said helping you find a comfortable position so you could lay your head against his shoulder, starting to doze off after you yawn “are you sleepy?” You nodded and closed your eyes, hugging him as best as you could with your free arm. “I hate how good you smell and how comfy you are, I want to sleep here forever.” Bucky smiled, you fell asleep after that and he got up to take you to your room. “Is your girl ok?” Sam asked him when he walked pass him and Peter in the pool table. “She's just sleepy, I’m going to take her to our bedroom” Both guys said their good nights and Bucky made it to the elevators, your face was so relaxed that he almost felt bad for how much he will tease you about your confession for the next days but that's what you get when forgot you both were already married.
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the-modern-typewriter · 3 months
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Hi there!ever since I saw you when I first installed tumblr it just keeps getting better. I was wondering if you can write something about a hero being the sucess of a lab and the villain being a failure(Bonus if the lab is actually evil) Don't feel pressured to do this though😗
"Do you know why I'm considered the success, instead of the failure like you?" the hero asked.
The villain sneered at them. They yanked and thrashed and struggled against the shimmering containment that wrapped around them, warping like a net from the hero's outstretched fingers, forcing them down against the cold concrete.
"Because you're a good, obedient little hero?"
The hero couldn't keep the damn trap up forever!
"Yes."
The simple response, the tone, startled the villain enough that they went temporarily still. Maybe that was the ploy. They stared at the hero through the hazy sheen of their powers, mockery draining from their face, panting for breath.
The hero had many things that the villain didn't: a body that wasn't screwed up, powers that weren't prone to out-of-control devastation, a generally sweet and more palatable disposition when it came to public relations.
And, of course, they did what they were told. The villain had never properly thought about that.
"It was their most important addition, after you...you know," the hero said, studying them. "The ability to control their experiments. To make sure that nothing like you would happen again."
A bad taste slowly flooded the villain's mouth. They shook their head.
The hero stepped forward, crouching down in front of the villain, on the other side of the containment wall. Up close, the villain got a good look at the vein snaking up the hero's wrist. The blood was just slightly the wrong colour; it made them look gorgeously healthy, radiant, compared to the sickly pallor the villain couldn't quite shake.
"If I stop taking the serum for my powers, I die," the hero said, keeping their voice light. "Quite horribly. But while the serum is in my system, I'm not in control. Not really. Everything I do is monitored. If I stray too far out..." The hero grimaced.
"Why are you telling me this?" the villain whispered.
"Because I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything about them. I signed up to do something good, to make the world better, and I..." The hero squeezed their eyes shut. "Well. I'm going to try and drag you back to them, aren't I? I'm going to hand you over to the people who hurt you, and then I'm going to make a speech telling everyone what a terrible, awful monster you are as if they don't deserve everything you give them. I'll smile while I'm doing it too."
The villain swallowed. They strained to press a hand up against the wall, but it only forced them back down against the ground harder. The villain's breath knocked out of them.
The hero winced. "Sorry."
"Isn't it better to be dead?"
"You didn't think so when you ran."
No. Maybe that had been an unfair question to ask. Still, the fury and the helplessness of it seared through the villain because ShieldCorp - they were going to get away with it. All of the others were dead! Even if they managed to expose what was really happening, ShieldCorp had the hero.
"I wanted to do something good too," the villain said, hollow. "It's not your fault they took advantage of that."
The hero shrugged. Their hand stayed perfectly steady.
"Are they listening to us now?"
"Probably."
"They'll be angry with you."
"Maybe. Maybe not. Me telling you this doesn't change anything, does it?"
"I thought you were like them. I hated you. It changes that."
The hero smiled, or something like it. It was too fragile, too wobbly, too shattered a thing compared to the beautiful thing they tossed out to the masses at every public appearance.
"I want to destroy them," the hero said. "But, when I let this force field drop so I can take you in properly, I'm going to need your help to do that. How are your powers feeling today?"
"Like I'm going to burn down the world."
The hero nodded, just once, and rose again. Silhouetted against the skyline, they looked unstoppable.
"Excellent," the hero said. "On the count of three, start with me."
The villain was ready when the containment dropped.
ShieldCorp was not.
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angelltheninth · 9 months
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Could I request getting into an argument with Hobie Brown or Peter b parker headcanons?
Oh angst! There's plenty of angst to be had in Spiderverse.
Pairing: Peter B. Parker, Hobie Brown x Reader
Tags: slight fluff, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, arguments, cuddling, makin up and making out
A/N: Have to use the crying gif cause Peter is such a drama queen.
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Peter hates getting into any kind of fight with you, over pretty much everything. It's not that he's not just as stubborn as you are but he knows how ugly these can get, so would very much like it if instead of screaming your heads off at each other, you give each other a little space to process things.
"No, this isn't a break up, god why did you think of that first? Do you want to break up? Okay, I thought not. Then there's no problem in giving me space is there? I'm not moving out, I'm gonna sleep on the couch! If I didn't know any better I'd say you really do want to get rid of me."
Sleeping on the couch is not as easy as it once was. You see him stretching, groaning as he pops his back but he doesn't complain about it, not a sound. He will give you your space as you will give him his. There needs to be time for you to cool off. The worst part are the awkward goodbyes you sill share, with the both of you stealing apologetic glances at each other but neither making the first move.
"I'm going out on patrol for the night. No, you go to bed, I'll get home when I get home. As I always do. Don't look so worried, I'll be thinking about this anyway, I don't need your puppy dog eyes too. Want me to pick up anything while I'm out? Got it. I'll be sure to do that. Well... see you in a few hours I guess."
He does come home late, with flowers for you that he sets beside your bed before he crawls in. You're still pretending to be asleep but you feel his arms pull you close to him from behind, his lips ticking your neck as he mumbles he still loves you and gives you another squeeze before the bed creaks right before he leaves. You don't let him, you wrap your hands around his forearms before he has the chance to let go and tell him to stay.
"Sure? I think we're both too tired to talk about this now. Yeah, in the morning. Do the flowers bother you? I can move them. Haha, I got everything else too don't worry. But when I saw them I couldn't help but think of you so here they are. Cause they were beautiful and made me smile, just like you."
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Hobie gets very heated when he gets into a fight with you. Not in the terms that he's loud or lashes out a lot but he can stay angry for a very long time, unable to let go. He wants what's best for you, how do you not realize that? If he takes any risks its because of you and for your safety.
"Oh so now its my fault right? Right, right blame it all on me why don't you? I'm being unfair? You just told me to stop putting myself at risk. I'm sorry sweetheart but that's not how being a hero works. Well its a stupid idea. No, I'm not calling you stupid I... forget it, no use talking this out."
Going out begins to get even more frequent for him. You get the feeling that he's doing everything he can to avoid talking to you about this problem. The good thing is that he's not getting hurt, yet. But he can't avoid you forever, he knows it too, he knows that sooner or latter he will have to talk to you. It drives you both crazy when you're in the same bed still, but back turned, in complete silence.
"How long do you think you can keep this up? Yes, you. I haven't been avoid- ah, I guess I have, a little. Look, I... I feel like if we don't talk about this, it's not go away on its own. Might take longer but... I'm being dumb? Well what about you? I thought you wanted your space? Too much of it huh? I can fix that. I'm not distracting you, I miss you."
The moment he gets his hands on your body, his lips on yours he can't get enough. It's like he's never kissed you before, like he's feeling these things for the first time, you arching against him, you sighing against his mouth and moaning his name as you try to get him as close as possible without seeming too needy for him. He missed you too, a whole lot and he's not holding back when it comes to showing you just how much.
"This isn't exactly an apology but I think it's a nice start don't you? Don't give me that look now, you like it too. I can make it better, if you want. Let's say, for every thing we manage to hash out we give each other a kiss. A little reward for us working out our issues."
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kingconia · 8 months
Text
SAVANACLAW WITH S/O, WHO IS SECRETLY ANIMAGUS.
[ Animagus — a magician, who can turn into an animal and back by their own will. ]
Leona Kingscholar.
— I actually headcanon that Leona has a strong Disney princess vibe, which means he is always surrounded by a lot of animals—and it is not about his classmates—so, when a stray cat starts following him around he doesn't see anything strange in that;
— Whenever he wakes up, there is always the same cat curled on his chest, a very pleasant weight on him almost reminding him of you, his lover;
— Leona's friendship with the cat starts when he offers it the peace of his meal that Ruggie brought. It licks his fingers and face after, and he introduces the cat as ”my partner in crime” to Ruggie affectionately;
— The cat hit him on the cheek with these little paws of it, when the headmaster is too close to the spot, where Leona sleeps carelessly, instead of being on lessons;
— Instantly, Leona wants you and the cat to meet each other. But when he tries to arrange the meeting in the botanical garden, something always goes wrong. He is so annoyed.
”Fucking fluffy brat!” Leona hisses, sniffling more intensely, trying to pick of the scent of the cat one more time. ”That is embarrassing, I swear.”
You smile as you lean on the tree with your shoulder. There is something especially funny about Leona, who searches for the cat desperately, with his tail swinging nervously. You don't even mask your laughter.
”I swear, this furball hates me,” Leona mutters. He is suddenly in front of you, with hands gripping your shoulders as he gently shoves you in the opposite side. ”Move, move. I think, she is somewhere here.”
“Su-ure,” you yawn with the fake sympathy.
”I am sure... It is somewhere... Here...”
You can't help but wonder how someone could be so smart and stupid at the same time...
Ruggie Bucchi.
— When a little bird sits down on his windowsill in the morning, Ruggie's first—and honest—reaction is to wonder if it is morally correct, to eat it alive;
— He stops thinking about that right after the bird throw a few branches in Leona's head, after he was especially mean to Ruggie;
— Since then, considers to befriend it. Brings some food for birds, and allows it to peck on his cheek;
— Allows it to travel on his shoulders, while he shows ”the bad guys, you should throw branches at, Birdie”, and complains the bird about everything and everyone during the day;
— Ruggie finds it unbelievably unfair how you, his lover, and Birdie, his best friend, are never in the same room.
”You hung up with Draconia boy too much,” Ruggie tells you, with the absolutely serious expression on his face, when you come to look at the empty cage again.
You blink, not really understanding where it is coming from.
”...What it has to do with you never being able to keep your bird to my arrival?” You mock, folding arms on your chest.
”His darkening aura annoys Leona, and it surely scares the Birdie away,” Ruggie hums.
You really can't help but burst out in laughter. Instantly, you throw a pillow in his head.
”Ouch, ouch!”
”And you should start hang out with Leona less,” you chid. ”Malleus is no at fault that you can't even train your pet.”
Though, of course, you are not his pet. And there is no way you are going to be train, even for a game.
”Yeah... You are right.”
But Ruggie doesn't need to know that. For now, at least.
Jack Howl.
— ???
— When a random rabbit starts following Jack around, he looks absolutely lost. Had this animal never heard that wolves eat their kind???
— ”Hey, come on... Go away, bunny... Go!” (Looks at it with the warmest eyes ever) ”Fine... The strong must protect the sweet one... But only because you are so small, and helpless!”
— He can't bring it to Savanaclaw, for the obvious reasons, so Jack makes a deal with Epel, to keep it in his dorms. Epel stress out, because the animal keeps appearing and disappearing on its own wish, though...
— Jack, somehow, justifies this strangeness with the fact that, of course, his Bun-Bun is not like other rabbits, huh! (He is so delusional...)
”Oh, Jack,” you mutter softly, scratching him behind the ear. ”Don't be sad. Surely, once I will be able to meet this rabbit of yours, too.”
Jack sighs, putting cheek on your shoulders, obviously disappointed that his two favourite creatures hadn't met yet. In moments like this, you are so close to tell him the truth... It is just impossible to see him sad...
”I know... But it happens so often. It is, as if you and Bun-Bun are the same person!” He blinks. ”Actually... You kinda act the same, you know?”
You pale visibly. How the fuck, from all of the in this school, Jack the only one who assumed the right answer, though, by the accident?!
”I... Jack...”
”Ha-ha,” the sudden loud laugh from the other end of the room startles both of you. ”Our dear Y/n, cette douce étoile, a bunny? Don't you think, a cat would fit them more?”
You sigh, waving Rook Hunt off, though, with a certain gratitude.
”Jack, you would notice, though, wouldn't you? You have extra senses.”
He nods reluctantly, but you can see doubt in his eyes. And when you turn around, Rook winks at you, knowingly.
You are in so much trouble...
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