#i hate your guts cause i'm loving every minute of it

[earlysunshines]

are we still friends? (can we be friends?)

minatozaki sana x fem!reader ; fluff, angst 

synopsis: seeing sana again during christmas causes feelings to resurface

warnings: food ; alcohol ; datzu crumbs ; cursing ; proofread halfway bc i got lazy + grammar and spelling errors probably

a/n: how to write angst?? am i cooked?? (I'm cooked) ALSO I wrote this in December so a lonnnngg time ago like when I touched the doc for the first time two days ago it said last edited 12/30/23 T-T

“y/n! come help with the decorations, it a bit tough to reach.” your mom calls out from the entrance.  

pausing in your place, you turn to respond to her, “i’ll be there in a bit, let me finish mixing everything.” 

“okay honey. make sure to wear a coat when you get out here, it’s chilly!” she yells back before closing the door. 

a giggle leaves your lips as you continue to sift the dry ingredients, trying not to spill the flour and sugar. when you’re done with a part of your cookie process, you wash your hands and throw on your puffer jacket before heading out to help your mom. 

christmas is in four days and your mom has this annual thing where she throws a big party at your place every christmas eve. she invites all her friends who are back in town—some even fly out to come to this big event—and it goes on until the concerningly late hours of the night.  

your mom didn’t get to throw this big party last year because she was terribly sick, so you missed it that time, but now she’s so back.  

this means you’re in charge of the baking (yet again) and also helping her out everywhere. it’s not that you don’t enjoy this, if anything you look forward to this event—just not this year, it won’t be the same as the previous christmas parties. 

your mom has this friend who moved in five minutes away from your house when you were twelve, and they had a daughter your age. of course, both your mothers found a way to get you guys to meet, and eventually, you’d be spending the majority of your middle and high school years together stuck by the hip. 

her name was minatozaki sana; she was the first person you had fallen in love with inside and out.  

she had this type of vibrance to her that spread through her surroundings like a bullet train. if the room was dim, it’d seem like she had brought a piece of the sun inside just by being there, instantly illuminating it. it was palpable that she had her flaws, everyone did, but with the way she held herself up and gave her all, you’d see right past her imperfections and into that warm heart of hers. 

sana expected nothing and appreciated everything, that’s what made her lips curl up into a contagious grin. the streaks of creased skin in the corner of her eyes as she flashed that toothy grin gave everyone the intimation that she was simply overjoyed to be able to have the ability to love and to care. she was so beautiful in the way she found adoration so enticing, and that’s why you had fallen in love with her. 

your years with her passed by quickly, each year was filled with vibrant memories that led you to fall even deeper into her charm. however, you never mustered up the courage to tell her how you really felt toward her, and by the time you had gotten close to spilling out your pent up feelings; sana had found herself a little boyfriend. 

chris was some guy on the basketball team—who was also a bit short and lacking skill to even make the team—he was an arrogant, pretentious, and egotistical snob who managed to win sana’s heart. how did he do this? who knows, everyone who’s interacted with him either hates his guts or is in love with his pathetic self.  

he was only nice around sana, but you had seen him when he wasn’t pretending like there wasn't a stick up his ass. he was below the bare minimum and that’s how you’d describe him, he was nowhere near sana’s league. if anything, maybe you were just jealous (and that you were), but you knew what kind of person deserved sana—chris was not someone who deserved a wonderful woman like her. 

that asshole managed to win sana’s heart and keep it for half of junior year and all of senior year of high school, then he managed to convince her to go to a college that was a five-hour flight away from home—and by the way, your town was a two-hour drive from a well-known, top notch university, one that you and sana agreed to go to when you were both in middle school. 

there was no way you’d let sana go to that college, not when chris was the reason she was going. it was a school that wasn’t even comparable to the one not so far from home, the one that had significant alumni and programs fit for the both of you. sana could easily win a decent scholarship to the university you’ve been dreaming of going to, but she was going to let him change her mind in a matter of seconds. 

there was no way you’d let that happen, so you simply walked over to her house and stormed up to her room after seeing her text regarding this whole plan, a fool’s plan.  

- 

you remember the argument that shattered your friendships in seconds, almost like it was yesterday. 

“sana, you can’t just go to that school because of chris. look, i’m saying this as your friend and because i love you: he’s not all that, and the uni nearby has great health programs, they’re ten times better than the school over there and you know it.” you argue.  

you’re pacing around the room that you and sana have had countless late-night conversations and sleepovers in, the place where you had done more for sana than chris did. your eyes land on the two strips of laminated paper that hold the memory of the time you two had gone to the photobooth on your sixteenth birthday, your brows crease at the sight of your cheeks squished with sana’s as the two of you posed. a heavy breath makes your lungs shrink as you exhale. 

“i can’t let you do this, not for him sana.” 

“but i love him so much y/n, you know this. he promised we could stay in an apartment together and that everything would be perfect, we have a whole future planned and i—” 

“what about us sana?” you cut her off, voice breaking slightly. “what about our future? we promised that we’d go to that uni together, what happened to that? you’re going to throw it away for him?” 

“you’re being ridiculous y/n, we were thirteen! things change and you need to grow up, look—”  

“we’ve known each other since elementary school and you’re throwing away this opportunity for a guy whose grades are falling apart. not only that, he’s a fucking ass! you’ve come crying and complaining to me more times than i can count on my left hand.” you respond angrily, and much louder than you meant to. 

sana looks at you in disbelief, her expression almost carrying some sort of disappointment or disgust. she scoffs and you feel your heart shatter just from hearing it, this isn’t like her at all. 

“if you were so fucking annoyed by my misery then you could’ve told me,” she responds harshly, water lining her eyes.  

“sana that’s not what i—" 

“you’re supposed to be my best friend, always there for me and to support me. now look at you, what happened to that? can’t you be happy for me and chris? i seriously love him and all you’ve been is mopey and bitchy whenever he’s around.” 

“i know more people that have treated you better than him. he’s an asshole sana, it’s clear as day and even dahyun agrees.” 

her eyes meet the floor and she says in a smaller voice, “i love him y/n, and he loves me.” 

not like i love you, never will he love you like that. 

your features soften as you look at her. “sana you can’t—” 

“get out of my room.” sana spits in a stinging tone that’s worse than a dagger to your heart. she shakes her head then turns to avoid your gaze and your heart completely shatters as you watch a tear slide down her cheek in the process. “get out of my house, i don’t want to hear it.” 

“sana,” you begin, but when you hear her sniffle, you hold back everything that’s burning in your chest. your shoulders give up and sink in defeat before you croak out an “okay.” 

turning around, you step out of her bedroom with a heavy heart and trembling lips. tears stream down your cheeks as you make your way out of the house where sana and you had spent countless hours together—hours that you’d never forget no matter how hard you tried. 

- 

each breath you take is visible in the cold air and snow compresses with each step you take whilst hanging up the christmas lights. your mother smiles once you pin the last string up and  then you take a step back to admire the illuminating pattern of diverse hues beaming when your mom presses the “on” button. 

“thank you again honey, i appreciate it.” your mom says, holding your hand and squeezing it gently.  

you turn and smile at her, shaking your head before responding, “anytime mom.” 

the two of you enter the house again and immediately you’re on your way back to the kitchen to finish up your famous cookies. you three different types of cookies: chocolate chip cookies (the fastest batch to be eaten), matcha cookies with white chocolate chips, and ube cookies—sana’s favorites. 

-- 

“ube? what’s that?” sana says, giggling softly as you hand her a purple cookie with white chocolate chunks.  

“just try it sana, you’ll love it.” you assure, urging her to try. “it’s purple too, how could you not?” 

she rolls her eyes at you then picks up the sweet treat, taking a bite of the cookie. it’s crunchy on the outside and perfectly soft on the inside, making her shoulders sink down and eyes close when the new, thrilling flavor meets her tastebuds. 

“so, how is it?” you ask, raising your brows. sana simply smiles and nods, shooting a dorky thumbs up before taking another bite. 

“it’s wonderful, it’s like coconut and nutty and has vanilla and oh my gosh it’s so… it’s really good.” she sighs, melting as she consumes your baked good. she looks adorable. 

you laugh at her response and take a bite of your own experiment, eyes widening at how good they were. sana was right, they’re wonderful. 

-- 

“ah the purple cookies, those were a hit ever since you started making them.” your mom says, rubbing your back. she looks at you with some pity, knowing about your little falling out with sana. 

you simply smile and nod. “i like them, i was going to save some for myself too.” you joke, easing some tension in the air. 

“well, i’m going to call your dad up, go visit the kim’s later and tell them i said hi.” your mom insists, placing a twenty dollar bill on the marble counter. “heard they have a holiday latte out, you should try it. dahyun’s also been experimenting with her baking and beverages, she gets better each time i visit.” 

“of course she is,” you chuckle lightheartedly, “let me just finish these last cookies and i’ll put them in the fridge for a bit. did you want anything from their place?” 

“no, it’s fine. oh wait! i have a present for dahyun’s mom, can you give her this if she’s there?” she asks. 

“mhm,” you hum,  “just put it near my bag on the couch.” 

“thanks sweetie, i’ll do that.” your mother beams, then rushes towards her room to grab whatever it was that she needed. 

-- 

ring  

the sound of the bell chimes throughout the café—which is not too busy other than the elderly group in the corner and a student typing away at their computer to the side. you catch sight of the familiar face, instantly grinning when you walk towards the register. 

dahyun is turned away from you and cleaning the espresso machine, wiping it down and yelling a “welcome! feel free to check out the holiday pastries and beverages!” without turning towards you. 

you laugh and speak up, “it’s nice to see you miss know-it-all.” and upon hearing your voice dahyun instantly turns around, beaming a bright grin and setting her rag down. 

“y/n? you didn’t tell me you were in town? what the hell where were you last year?” she questions, walking out from behind the counter and then towards you to greet you with a warm hug. she smells like coffee grinds and cinnamon, you hug her back and smile. 

“i was deathly sick last year, like seriously fighting for my life. i didn’t tell you?” 

“no stupid, you didn’t.” she sighs, then pulls away to look at you. “i’ve only seen your instagram posts, haven’t seen you in a bit and wow… you look better than in the pictures.” 

“thank you?” you giggle before she walks over to return back behind the register. “i’ve also seen your instagram… who’s that girl you’ve been posting? got a girl and didn’t fill me in with the details?” you pry, smirking cheekily. 

“oh, tzu… gosh y/n we have so much to talk about, i’m glad you’re back in town.” dahyun says appreciatively, and you don’t miss the slight pink that dusts on her cheeks before she starts again, “let’s talk over some coffee. what can i get you? on the house by the way. we have like, thirty minutes before a bunch of people start piling in.” 

a giggle leaves your lips again before you decide on a peppermint mocha. dahyun gets to work and weighs out the coffee grins as you situate yourself to the side, watching her work her magic. 

the two of you catch up on what’s been going on with college, dahyun’s love life that you’ve missed out on, and what you’ve been up to yourself. twenty minutes pass and you’ve both ended up on some old memory that has the two of you laughing like idiots again, making both your stomachs hurt. 

“so… we’ve talked about what’s been going on with me… what about you and your love life? bet you’ve met a girl too.” dahyun interrogates with a teasing tone.  

“oh, well—” you begin, awkwardly staring at the cup in your hand. “i dated this girl for a while, but we ended up falling out and staying friends, nothing much… we just weren’t right for each other.” 

“i see…” dahyun responds, holding herself back from bringing up the sensitive topic—or, well, person.  

dahyun was aware of the falling out as well, but still stayed friends with sana. however, she was your friend before she met sana, so she had made sure if it was alright to keep contact and whatnot. of course you didn’t want your own personal problems to get in between other friendships, and you still loved sana despite everything that had happened so you gave dahyun the green light.  

after running to dahyun the same night of the argument with sana, you cried for an hour or two in her room. this was the first time you turned to someone other than sana, and dahyun had been on your side of the whole situation, making it easier to comfort and reassure you. she also disliked chris, but not as much as she liked you. 

she pretty much agreed with everything you had ranted about and thought it was stupid that sana would rather choose that asshole over someone like you, and later on you’d confess that you were in love with sana to dahyun. when everything had been rocky with sana, dahyun had been by your side, and you were grateful for that. 

“well, maybe you’ll land yourself a kiss under the mistletoe, who knows who’ll be showing up to your christmas party.” dahyun nudges you, smiling as she hands you some peppermint chocolate bark treat. “i could always set you up~” 

“it’s fine, really.” you guarantee. a smile spreads across your face and you dismiss her offer with a wave of your hand. “um, by the way… has um, has she stopped by or anything like that recently? does sana still visit—" 

there’s another ring from the door opening that cuts you off, making dahyun’s attention redirect towards the customer walking in. her eyes widen and she pauses in place before smiling awkwardly, then she mumbles an uneasy “um, be back…” before walking over to the register. 

you don’t think much of her weird mood shift and instead swirl around the small remainder of coffee in the latte cup. 

“hi dahyun! it’s nice to see you again.” a voice beams.  

you freeze in place, all of your body tensing up as soon as the familiar voice processes through your ears. it’s smooth, it’s sweet, and it has that same high-pitched ring and giggle that follows. immediately, your heartbeat spikes and you’re doing anything you can to avoid interacting or even looking in the woman’s direction. 

“it’s nice to see you too sana,” dahyun greets with a bubbly tone. the name being uttered from dahyun’s mouth is enough to make your hands grip the cup in your hand a little tighter. “can i get you anything?”  

“hm… i’ll have that peppermint mocha please. i’m also going to take a look around the bakery, i need to grab some treats for others. you know how it is, holidays and whatnot.” sana says in that adorable tone, it has you falling for her all over again just when you thought you’d gotten over everything that’s happened. 

quickly, you finish the last sip of your coffee before setting the empty cup down abruptly. it makes a small yet noticeable sound with the glass plate it had been sitting on, making sana advert her gaze.  

the small gift you had set down beside you is now placed on the glass that covers the display of christmas themed cakes. dahyun looks at you in confusion and tilts her head before you turn to smile at her, avoiding sana’s widening eyes. 

“thanks for the coffee dahyun, take the present on the glass to your mom—it’s from my mom to yours.” you start, trying to keep your voice level 

every ounce of restraint and discipline is fighting back the urge to simply glance at sana, who’s standing right in front of dahyun. you almost manage to avoid her, but it’s inevitable, your eyes land on your first love for the first time in almost two years. 

she’s looking at you with parted lips and surprise, but she still looks as beautiful as you remember. sana looks a little more mature than when you last saw her; the curve of her jaw is sharper, lips somehow brighter and her features are more defined overall. sana is wearing a scarf that fits around her neck comfortably, a brown, fluffy sweater, and dark sweatpants with uggs to compliment the outfit. there’s simplicity in her look—she’s jaw dropping, the sight of her makes your jaw tighten and heartbeat spike.  

her eyes meet yours for exactly three seconds, enough time to have every memory flowing in. 

clearing your throat, you finish your farewell to dahyun with a smile, “i’ll see you around, my mom says hi to your mom, tell her i also said hi too. i’ll get going now, have a good one.” 

your body doesn’t fight back the urge to glance at sana again—big mistake—before turning around and walking out the door. 

sana keeps her look on you the whole time, baffled to see you here and her own heart yearns for you. she’s missed you more than you’d ever know, and more than she’d like to admit. it doesn’t help her case that you’re ten times more attractive than when she’d last seen you at graduation. 

“you should talk to her.” dahyun says softly. sana keeps her eye on the door, you’re already out and probably in your car, but she keeps her eye on the door still. 

“were you talking to her earlier?” sana asks, now turning to face the younger woman. 

“we were catching up.” dahyun answers. the woman behind the register turns around to start making sana’s drink, unknowingly the same drink you had ordered. it all makes dahyun’s own heart sink in her chest a bit. “how long has it been since you’ve talked to her?” 

“since graduation.” sana explains, looking down at the counter. “i messed up.” 

dahyun turns around again to see sana, sorrow and regret etching into her features. the barista frows and reaches over to place her hand on sana’s shoulder, then rubs it gently.  

“talk to her, there’s always time to fix things. especially with y/n.” 

-- 

a few days past since that meeting, you’re still shaken up from it to say the least.  

sana is too, but you aren’t aware of that. 

to stray away from this event that is dreadfully close to leading to some form of existential crisis or spiral, you’re helping your mom out with setting up the last few decorations and tables while your cookies that you chilled a couple days ago bake.  

dahyun is also coming over with her girlfriend in the evening to exchange a couple of greetings and to properly introduce her girlfriend tzuyu to you. your mother had met tzuyu before and talked highly about her, so you were excited to meet her yourself.  

when the time comes, you hear a knock at the door and shoot up to answer it. you open the door and dahyun stands there with a nervous grin on her face. next to her stands tzuyu—and sana.  

your eyes widen and your jaw tenses when you see her perfect face, standing next to tzuyu with this awkward smile. she’s wearing a gray pullover and black sweatpants; an orange scarf also wraps around her neck comfortably. she looks snug and cute as ever, no matter what she’s adorable in your eyes. your heart flutters and you get all nervous like a teenager again. 

pushing away the edginess flowing throughout your whole being, you greet dahyun with a warm hug, then give tzuyu and friendly one as well. you’re not sure how to greet sana, being all shaken up by just her presence, so you resort to a smile and a small “hi sana,” then invite them all in. 

sana walks in and her hand brushes against your arm on accident, the two of you definitely notice it—though you both decide to ignore it and the warmth in your chests.  

your mom greets all the girls with a hug and the five of you sit down in your homey living room. sana sits across from you on the couch next to your mom, and you sit there avoiding eye contact as you all catch up. 

an hour passes by and dahyun is over in the living room talking to your mom about what’s been going on with her parents and the bakery. in the meantime, you decide to give yourself a break from feeling all nervous just by being near sana. 

standing up, you announce, “i’m going to the kitchen for a bit.” your mom simply raises her brows at your sudden departure, you’ve been silent for most of the conversation and it seems like you’re the only one affected by the tension in the room. “won’t be long.” you add, smiling weakly. 

the fridge is still full of some essentials, and to the side, there’s some cold brew and your favorite coconut milk; everything you need is right where you need it. you head over to the counter and grab your favorite glass cup, heart stinging at the memory of when you had received it. it was one of the many gifts from sana. 

you grab some ice and put it in the cup, then add your cold brew inside. then you grab a small cup with some honey and search for a spoon so you can mix it in with the coconut milk. 

“drinking coffee at this time?” a voice says, making you freeze. you break out of your short trance and hum in response before continuing to make your drink. 

“you know i can’t resist a good coffee, sana.” and the way her name slips off your tongue feels right. you haven’t said it often since the falling out and it still rolls off perfectly, it feels right coming from you. you’re hesitant to talk again, feeling her eyes drill into your back. something in your heart shifts and you manage to ask, “did you want something to drink?” 

“yeah,” she answers, walking over to you and sitting at the kitchen island. “same thing you’re drinking, but sweeter.” 

of course she wants it sweet, just like always.  

“okay.”  

your back is still turned towards sana and she watches you grab another glass. as you do so, she gets a glimpse of your own glass and smiles. “is that the cup i got you?”  

still fixing up her drink, you nod and answer, “yeah. it’s my favorite.” 

“a lot of your gifts are my favorites too.” she admits, her voice so soft and fragile that you’re scared the thick tension in the air might break it. 

sana watches you turn around, but you still avoid her gaze. you place both cups on the surface of the kitchen island and begin to pour the coconut milk mixtures into the coffee. the liquids swirl as they combine, creating a satisfying view. sana’s quick to redirect her attention back to you, staring at your face again. 

last time she had saw you at dahyun’s cafe, she only had the chance to get a simple glance at your features, not enough time to fully take in everything that’s changed about your apperance. there’s two new piercings on both ears and a new, small tattoo below your ear; the length of your hair is also noticeably longer. your lips part as you swirl both cups in your hands around, and then you take a quick glance to the side, allowing sana to admire your side profile and the unique curve of your nose and lips. 

you hold the mug out for her and finally meet her eyes again. sana’s favorite thing about you were your eyes, they’re still as pretty as she remembers.  

- 

it’s some thursday night during your sophomore year of high school, you were supposed to be studying with sana for your math quiz tomorrow, but she had other ideas.  

“stay still,” sana mumbles softly. 

she situates you in the chair near her desk and tilts your head up with the fingers holding your chin. she’s inches away from you as she puts some sort of sponge on your face, brows creasing as she does so. your heart is racing. 

after a couple of minutes, sana finishes up your makeup. she’s done some type of natural look on you, nothing too heavy or bold. you look at yourself through the mirror and take a moment to examine sana’s doings. as you do so, sana can’t keep her eyes off you. 

something in her heart shifts as she admires you. her eyes land on your lips, they’re oddly alluring, and sana’s cheeks burn. 

“sana you’re staring… do i look weird?” 

“no,” she practically breathes out, mouth slightly agape. “you’re beautiful.” she says breathlessly, her expression turning all serious it makes you giggle awkwardly. 

there have been many moments where sana has found you pretty, not just physically. your small gifts and reassurance have made her heart flutter, but she’s always figured that was just because she loved you deeply as a friend. but when you stare at her with those eyes in this moment, she’s so surprised by everything she feels. she's giddy and happy and warm inside and gosh her heart wants to jump out her chest and cling onto you. she's not opposed to the feeling; she always has this feeling aorunf you and she loves it. that's why she’s always around you in the first place. 

her face burns and you’re gazing at her all confused, you look so cute. 

growing nervous from how non-verbal sana has been, you try to shake her out of her trance. “hey, you’re scaring me. earth to sana? hellooooo…?” 

“how are you so pretty all the time.” sana’s eyes soften and her whole body relaxes as she rests her head on her palm. “like, your face is so perfect and your eyes… god y/n, whoever gets to be with you would be so lucky, seriously. like, you’re honestly the prettiest girl in our school, how do you not have a boyfriend?” 

your cheeks flush from the abrupt compliment, so you push her gently and giggle. sana giggles along with you, still star-struck. you’re both young and unknowingly in love with each other—giggles and teasing seem to be the only way to hide that. 

- 

sana has always found you attractive, after all these years she still hasn’t figured out why she made the mistake of pursuing chris instead of the person who was always there for her—and ten times prettier. you’ve always been right there, she’s a fool for looking right past you. 

sana grabs the mug, still making eye contact with you and both your eyes soften at the same time. 

“y/n i’m sorry.” she says immediately, “i messed up really bad and—” 

“sana,” you cut her off, “just enjoy the drink.” she watches you smile at her, it’s genuine and small, still enough to calm her nerves. you grab your glass and walk towards the door to the porch, tilting your head and urging her to come follow. sana figures she could pour her heart out later, if it were on the porch it wouldn’t be the first time she’s poured out her emotions there.  

the two of you find a seat across from each other, the fairy lights above create some type of ambiance to ease the tension that’s hanging in the air like an invisible cloak of some sort, suffocating the two of you with its unease. 

“how have you been?” sana asks. it’s cliché, but what else was she supposed to say?  

you don’t look up from the drink in your hand when you respond, “good, you?”  

“likewise.” sana lies, her jaw clenching.  

“you know,” you begin, and with intent, your eyes meet her face and she’s doing the same as you had been doing before; she simply sits there with the drink in her hand, looking quite on edge. “i figured if i were to see you again like this, chris would be with you.”  

“we broke up three months after we moved in together.” sana says quietly, “i broke up with him.” 

“sana…” you mumble quietly, surprised to say the least. “why— what?” 

“i ruined everything between you and i because i was so blinded by his affection, i couldn’t stay with him anymore with guilt clawing at me.” she explains, her voice breaking slightly. “and i couldn’t bring myself to talk to you after hurting you. losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. god, it took everything in me to come back to you.” 

“you never lost me sana,”  

“i’m just… sorry for everything, i really am.” she says sincerely, “and i don’t think enough words could really explain how sorry i am.” 

you look at her with pity, and despite her coldness towards you during the last semester of your senior year, you decide to let everything go. she’s your best friend after all, you promised yourself to be there. 

“it’s okay.” you say, it’s not the truth, but it’s not a lie either. “it was my fault too for letting the distance between us get larger.” 

“don’t say that, it’s not your fault.” sana sighs. she takes a sip of the coffee, it’s good, of course— everything you’ve ever made for her has been great. “i only stayed with chris because i was scared. that’s why it was so easy for me to leave everyone i loved behind, i think.” 

“scared? …of what?” 

she looks dead into your eyes and exhales, “i realized that, that maybe i was with chris because i was trying to push down how i felt about you.” 

you tilt your head in confusion, then begin to pry, “sana what do you mean—" 

“y/n, i was falling for you and it terrified me. i mean, i loved you, and honestly, i think i still do. i'm so fucking dumb, god i'm just oblivious.” sana says, then immediately, your heart rate spikes and your brows raise. she continues while fidgeting with her fingers, “i guess it’s easier to admit now because we’ve grown distant, and physically we’re distant enough. chris treated me alright and loved me, but i came crying to you all the time because he never treated me like how i wanted you to treat me, i don’t know why i did that. i don’t know why i let myself go through that when i had you. every time i’d kiss him i wished it were you, every time we did anything honestly.” 

sana's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, their glossy shine failing to hide the immense emotions she was desperately trying to suppress. the weight of her confession hung in the air, causing the entire world to momentarily freeze. it felt as though time itself had paused, giving you a moment to absorb the magnitude of her words. 

sana loved you, and she still does. you loved her, and you still do.  

but really, you can’t. you can’t go through with this. it’s too sudden, so unorganized and uncertain. 

all of this is a recipe for disaster. 

the echo of her vulnerability reverberated through the atmosphere, your mind spun in a cyclone of emotions. thoughts collided and collided again like football players during some game, leaving your head in a dizzying state of confusion, the sheer intensity of it all was jarring, leaving you all disoriented. the feelings you suppressed were finding their way back out, and you found yourself teetering on the precipice of vulnerability once again, just as you did years ago. 

finding out that sana loved you still gave you hope, but the revelation also made you uneasy. it had been too long without sana, and so much had happened, so there was the chance that things would be all rocky. besides, it’s just too sudden. 

“i’m— sorry for dumping all of this, i just wanted to give you closure because… well, i should’ve given you it years ago.” a tear streams down her eye as she says this, and then she begins to stand. “i should leave, i’m sorry for not letting you know i was coming— god i’m so sorry.” 

“sana wait—” you start, grabbing her wrist. she looks into your eyes, her’s are still glossy. you decide it’s better to let her go for now, unsure if this is the last time you’ll see her after this—hopefully not. “it’s okay, just… be careful. you know i’m always here, always sha.” 

the nickname that you made up for her makes her heart crack a little, she can only smile back at you for now. 

— 

the conversation between dahyun, tzuyu, and your mom is interrupted when dahyun catches the sight of sana pulling her scarf off the hook and wrapping it around her neck again. she takes account of the slight flush of her nose and cheeks, as well as her water-lined eyes. 

“you’re leaving?” dahyun asks, concern clear in her tone. sana simply smiles and nods, “yeah, i’ll see you at the holiday party. it was nice seeing you too miss l/n, i missed all of this.” 

“you’re always welcome honey,” your mother assures, “where’s y/n?” 

“out on the porch, she said she’ll be back in a bit. i’ll see you all, thank you.” sana says before departing, leaving the three women in the living room perplexed. 

a few minutes later whilst the three in the living room conjure up theories of what had happened while you and sana had been gone—you appear with a blank expression. you sit down next to your mom and lean against her, not saying a word. 

tzuyu (who is only briefly caught up with whatever had happened between you and sana, and she deinfitely needs a thorough presentation on your history) looks at dahyun and tilts her head, dahyun simply shakes her own head. 

“sana and i talked a bit, resolved and made things clear.” you say, answering the elephant in the room. “i’m heading up, i’m getting sleepy and i want to have some energy for the party tomorrow.” you add. “it was nice getting to know you tzuyu, you’re perfect for the idiot beside you. night everyone.” chuckling quietly in between responses. 

and with that you’re walking up the stairs to your room, leaving your mom, tzuyu, and dahyun perplexed yet again. 

- 

december 25th, five o’clock pm. 

you're greeting guests, various familiar faces and their parents, family friends, and whoever else you mom managed to fit on the list. 

the party is lively, with people scattered in the backyard and on the little porch while your dad grills his signature bbq meats. your mom laughs with her friends as she sips on her wine, moving her hands around as she talks to emphasize her little life updates. 

in the basement with you are your old high school friends: momo, her cousin mina, jaehyun, mark, johnny, seulgi, sooyoung, jeongyeon, and dahyun, who’s accompanied by tzuyu. the rest of your frineds couldn’t make it, they were probably out of town. all of them sit on the floor or couch with a can of smirnoff or soda, all chatting and laughing over old memories. 

you lean against jaehyun as you laugh, letting yourself hide behind his shoulder while mark ruthlessly brings up each embarrassing phase you’ve had. what a guy, a guy you’ll be figthing soon if he keeps this up. 

the feeling of your phone ringing against your palm as you hold it catches your attention, directing you from the conversation at hand. the screen shows a call from “mom♡” which earns a confused look. you answer the call, cupping the phone so you can hear her better as you answer. 

“hello? did you need something?” 

“hey honey, would you mind coming out for a bit? someone wants to see you.” 

“someone?” you ask, “one of your friends or...?” 

“just come on out sweetie.” she insistts. 

“okay okay, whatever you say.” you respond before ending the call and starting to get up. jaehyun looks up at you with a quirked brow as he sips on his drink. you look back and shrug, “my mom wants me to meet ‘someone,’ probably one of her friends or something. i won’t be long.” you respond to him and let the others know. 

"alright, take your time," jaehyun says with a nod, setting his drink down. "hopefully, it won't be too boring," he adds with a small smirk, teasing you gently. you roll your eyes playfully in response before grabbing your jacket and heading towards the sliding door.  

you were right about the guess on seeing your mom's friend, or—friends. however, the sudden chill you get when seeing the minatozaki’s on the porch makes you tense up.  

they're standing there, glasses of wine in their hands as they look at you. sana's mom has a smile on her face, so does her dad. you walk up to them and try to shake off your nerves, fully hugging sana’s mom and giving sana’s dad a side hug. 

“it’s been a while hasn’t it?” sana’s mom says, putting her hand on your shoulder and grinning. “it’s wonderful to see you again.” 

“likewise.” you respond, melting into relaxation the more you get used to this atmosphere. “how have you all been?” 

after a tense reunion with sana’s parents, they find out about your ambitions and what you’ve been up to. not much is mentioned about the falling out between you and their daughter, but the thought most definitely lingers in the cold, winter air.  

sana's parents tell you about an internship she earned at a hospital her first year, saying they’re proud of her for helping others and the bonus of the nice paycheck that came with the experience. they tell you she’s found herself a guaranteed transfer to your school and that she’s excited to help even more people in the nursing program. it sounds like sana’s a great person, she’s always wanted to help others, it makes you smile and nod as her parents update you on what she’s been up to. 

but there’s this feeling of uncertainty and sorrow brewing. the fact that you have to hear about sana from anyone but her breaks you a bit, knowing that the two of you wouldn’t hesitate to update each other back then. now, it seems like you’re missing a chunk of memories that you could’ve shared with sana. 

“we asked her to come to the party.” mr. minatozaki says, looking at you with a sympathetic smile. “she said she’d consider it.” 

“oh, i see.” you respond, nodding whilst looking at the ground.  

part of you is glad that she’s not here, but who are you kidding, there would never be a time where you’d be dissapointed to catch her near you, despite the paranoia taking over. 

“well, it’s nice to catch up y/n. we've missed you, it’s great to see how well you’re doing. your parents must be proud.” mr. minatozaki concludes, looking at you with admiration. 

“yeah, thanks.” you say, “well, i'll leave you to talk to my parents, but i'll stop by again to talk to you two. it's really nice to catch up, i've missed you guys too, and your wonderful dinners.” you add jokingly, earning a laugh from the couple. 

sana's mom kisses your temple and hugs you, then lets you walk back into the house. 

it seems like this whole night has been full of surprises—scratch that, at this point, everything is a surprise ever since you've been back in town. especially now, because once you step into the kitchen, there’s a familiar woman who’s making your knees weak all over again. 

“y/n, hey.” sana greets softly, smiling at you. 

she's just hung up her scarf on the little hook near the fridge, the same place she’d always hang it back then. there was this unspoken rule that when sana was here, there were certain spaces that belonged to her; the hook near the fridge, the chair at the dining table closest to the living room, the right side of your bed, and the left side of the couch in the basement.  

still, you’re pissed at the fact she had practically cut you off completely over a boy just to come back years later to win you back. it irritated you how easy it was for sana to convince you, but you were much angrier at the thought of her coming back to see you because her and chris didn’t work out. was she serious about the breakup? was that all it took to forget that she had caused so much mental turmoil? 

despite this, her being in your house again and seeing her at this christmas party like years before; everything reminds you of the fact that sana had always lingered in your home. 

“hey, didn’t think you’d make it.” you respond, watching her shrug. 

“my parents said your signature cookies are here, i had to.” 

can't be the only reason, you want to mumble, but your lips stay sealed. 

sana speaks again, “i stole a couple, ate some earlier actually. still as great as i remembered.” 

“thanks.” you mutter, walking over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “did you want to talk about something?” 

“what do you mean?” 

“there’s a reason you came, and i know it’s for me since you’re not in the basement with everyone else. we both know that’s the signature spot.” 

sana cringes at your tone, but gives in. 

“i just wanted to see you, and hopefully talk to you normally.” 

it's taking everything in you to hold your ground, to protect yourself from this sudden appearance that’s making you all uneasy again. you can’t let sana screw you up again with a simple visit, you can’t. 

“i know you’re sorry but sana, you treated me so terribly. do you know how much i cried? how fucking terrible i felt after losing my friend of years to chris?” you seethe, sighing. “part of me wants to start over, maybe try again—but how can i do that when there’s the chance of you throwing away everything, we rebuild over another stupid fucking guy.” 

she looks at you with guilt in her eyes, her shoulders sinking and words jumbling in her throat.  

“y/n, nothing—no one, despite what i've done to you, will ever make me forget how much i love you. there's always a space in my heart for you.” 

you scoff, anger flowing throughout you now, then walk over to her. she stands against the frame of the entrance, you stand in front of her now, looking down slightly. sana's looking at you directly in the eye, you can see the hurt and regret in her eyes; her look brings you back to your senses. 

“how do i know you’re not bluffing? sana, every ounce of me wants to redo this.” your voice cracks slightly, the hurt evident in your tone.  

“you just have to trust me, i'm sorry, i'm really sorry.” 

you feel like curling up into a ball and hiding, the way your chest tightens makes you want to cry a bit. 

- 

the party ends around one in the morning, considering the fact that some of the attendants are adults that don’t have the energy to party until the sunrises.  

jaehyun’s just crossed the line, now slurring his words and laughing stupidly while he gets touchy with the guys, so mark ends up driving him home. johnny catches a ride with seulgi and sooyoung. with them gone, you’re in the basement with momo, mina, dahyun, and tzuyu. all five of you end the night with some recollections of memories, momo’s recent date, mina’s annoying professor, and before you know it you all are hugging goodbye. 

you've already gone through three cans of the smirnoff cans, it hadn’t done much except make you a little more giggly and talkative. you were a little tipsy, that was all. 

throughout the night, tzuyu and dahyun exchange glances, their eyes meeting repeatedly, dahyuns hand rubbing tzuyu’s thigh, and the little smiles they give each other. all of it doesn’t go unnoticed – at least by you – and hints at the potential for something you don’t want to think of in detail once they return home.  

as you observe their subtle interactions, a pang of envy stirs within you, longing for that same allure and anticipation. amidst the swirling emotions, a sense of emptiness creeps in, amplified by the beers you’ve had. you're left to ponder on what’s making you feel hollow, still feeling bad after raising your voice at sana earlier. 

you can’t feel bad, you shouldn’t. whatever you did wasn’t comparable to her practically pretending you didn’t exist for almost two years. 

after rolling your eyes and saying some stupid joke to dahyun and tzuyu – the last to leave the house – you head back to the basement.  

of course, sana had to be sitting on the couch, head turned towards the tv as she sipped on a beer.  

“hey.” you mutter, earning her attention as she turns away from the christmas movie you paused earlier. 

“hi.” sana greets. 

every ounce of anger, irritation, and dread had been squeezed out your body at the sight of her. you genuinely think it’s the alcohol that’s making you rethink everything, making it hard to fight back that voice in your head that’s trying to stay reserved and petty. 

sana sits there, her gaze fixed on you with intensity. her glasses are perched on her nose, a familiar sight whenever she's engrossed in watching tv or anything like that. the sight only adds to her charm, making her look even more adorable. you can't help but notice her favorite cardigan draped over her shoulders – the fluffy, white knit cardigan she adores so much –it's a cherished gift from your mother, and she's held onto it all these years. her eyes bore into yours, drilling into your skull and compelling you to plop down beside her as if nothing had ever transpired between you. you surrender, maybe it’s the late hours of the night, maybe the beer, o rmaybe just sana. 

(it’s probably just sana.) 

she turns back to the movie playing, some stupid romcom jaehyun had put on as background noise. 

your eyes trace the curve of her nose, lingering on her lips and the impeccable contour of her jawline as she remains fixated on the tv screen. her side profile captivates you for a moment, holding you in some sort of spell until she breaks the silence with her soft voice. 

“i think our parents are playing card games in the kitchen.”  

“probably betting money too.” 

“remember when your dad took your christmas money for their game?” sana asks, giggling at the memory. her eyes are still fixed on the screen, you decide to tune into the movie too. “didn’t he lose too?” 

“yeah.” you sigh, sinking into the couch. “he paid me back double the next day though.” 

“so it was worth it?” 

“yeah, i think we went out to eat with that money.” 

sana turns to gaze at you, her eyes tracing the soft contours of your profile in the dimly lit room. the glow from the tv accentuates her favorite features of yours, and she finds herself lost in the sight before her. for a while, she simply stares, allowing the comfortable silence to envelop the moment.  

you turn to look at her now, you two just stare at each other for a while more. 

“maybe we can try again.” you mumble, giving into the beauty in front of you. “every part of me is against the idea.” 

“that’s understandable.” sana agrees. she sighs before adding, “you don’t have to try again.” 

“i know.” you assure, “but i think we should.” 

“i’m sorry.” 

“i know, sana.”  

as the music from the tv fills the room, silence once again settles between you and sana. you know that you can't let this opportunity slip away – it's everything you've wanted, and deep down, you realize it's everything you've needed too.  

there's a mistletoe that’s hung above the two of you, it’s been there the whole time, both of you were aware of it. it dangles from the light tantalizingly, but neither of you do anything about it. neither you or sana even mention it. your mind races to the memory of dahyun and tzuyu kissing each other under it and part of you wants to kiss sana like that, but you won’t let her kiss and make up. 

you reach out, your fingers gently intertwining with hers. you lift her hand to your lips, feeling the warmth of her skin against your own. softly, you press a kiss upon the back of her hand, you linger in the intimacy of the gesture. 

the two of you sit there for a moment, letting the world around you two fade away. 

everything about the moment renders you weak. you think to yourself that maybe, just maybe, a second chance is enough to patch things up. if it’s with sana, then maybe it’s worth it. 

[padfootagain]

Black Dog Neighbour

Hi everyone ! Today, we’re answering a request made for my 6k followers event by @nobodyshomearchive : “hi hello lovely xxi have been hooked to your blog lately, and to say that is an understatement in all honesty. congratulations on 6k followers <33 so for your celebration can i get an enemies to lovers (ouh massive surprise 👀) with sirius black (preferably post azkaban but it's okay if you don't want to!) cause i'm literally so head over heels for that man. and i'm loving your something good series :) again, congrats and feel free to ignore the request if you don't feel like writing it/it doesn't hit your creative spot.

have a great day/night hun <;3”

Thank you so much for your request, and I hope you like this! I didn’t do post-azkaban Sirius, because he doesn’t exist in my brain. I have been in denial for so long, the Potters are living their best lives, didn’t you know?!

Anyway, still went for post-Hogwarts and post-war Sirius, simply didn’t include anything referencing to Azkaban or… anything canon compliant, to be fair. But as per usual for me when it comes to this character…

Hope you like this! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Warnings: A small warning for an ex being an arse and showing up drunk on your doorstep (there’s nothing violent, but you do physically push him away, so heads up on that, just in case). But the rest’s cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!

Summary: God, you hate that guy next door. Bloody annoying neighbour with his noisy motorcycle, his loud friends, his annoying laugh, his charming smile, his amazing hair, his effortless way to sport sexy leather jackets. He’s insufferable, you hate him to bits. The fact that he’s a talented wizard who can magically change into a dog to guard your door when your ex comes bothering you again will not change your first impression in the slightest, by the way. You still hate him to guts. Probably…

Word count: 4592

Sirius Black Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Sirius fucking Black.

Your neighbour, aka worst enemy, aka the person you despise the most on earth.

He is loud. He is annoyingly pretty. He is getting on your fucking nerves... again!

Of course, it is Friday night, which means that his stupid friends are over for a “boys’ night”. What a scam…

In consequence, you are currently casting sound-proofing spells all over your walls in an attempt to shush their idiotic laughs. And especially Sirius’s; his unmistakable bark-like laughter, loud and boisterous and absolutely prone to draw a grin from your face even if you don’t mean to. By Agrippa’s hat, you will soon either cut his throat or call for an auror. Or maybe you could burst into his apartment and shout into his face just so he can see how bloody annoying that is. Or kissing him to shut him up sounds like a plan, too…

You shake your head, grinning at your own genius idea. Sirius and his friends are being rudely loud again, when you have already told them a thousand times – which is to say every Friday for the last six months, since Sirius moved in the apartment next to yours – that the walls in this old building of Diagon Alley are too thin, that you can hear everything going on in Sirius’s apartment despite sound-proofing spells… and that they need to keep it down past 11pm because you have work the next day. The absolute dread of working in retails does not, by any means, spare the Wizards and Witches of this world…

You look through your apartment for the object that would make the most noise. You give a few items a try, but settle for the good old pan and spoon. Ha, what precious allies these two are, never failing you.

You add a little spell to amplify sounds – just for good measure – find some earplugs, and then proceed to bang the shit out of that pan, right by your common wall with Sirius’s apartment.

It goes on for five full minutes before you manage to catch the quietened sound of something against your door…

And sure enough, when you stop and take your earplugs out, someone is banging at your door.

“Y/N!” a voice that you easily recognize shouts. “STOP THIS FUCKING NOISE!”

You open the door wide, and have to bend to the side to avoid Sirius’s fist as it misses the door.

“Merlin! Sorry! You’re okay? I didn’t touch you, right?” Sirius asks with anger instantly replaced with worry.

“I have amazing reflexes.”

And anger is back into his dark grey eyes again...

“What the fuck are you doing in there?! Are you mental?!”

“I don’t know, Sirius. I didn’t notice anything over the cacophony of your friends shouting into my ears all night!”

His jaw clenches, and you hate yourself for noticing the trembling of the muscle there, and finding it terribly attractive…

“And you had to make all this ruckus instead of simply walking three meters to my door and nicely ask us to shut our mouths because…?”

“Because I’ve asked you dozens of times, this has been going on for fucking months, Sirius!”

He rolls his eyes, and Merlin do you want to punch him straight across the jaw… his very sharp, very pretty jaw…

“We’re just having a nice evening…”

“And I am trying to sleep!”

“It’s barely midnight!”

“I work tomorrow, you asshole!”

“Ermm… guys?”

“WHAT?!” you both exclaim, turning to face a shy-looking Remus.

“Sorry about the noise, Y/N. We’ll be more careful next time. We’ll leave for the evening.”

“You don’t have to leave…” Sirius complains, but James is already walking out, helping a drunk Peter to cross the corridor.

“It’s late, anyway. Lily’s gonna worry, I was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago,” James argues, and Sirius has to yield.

“Alright, see you on Sunday, then!” he shoots his friends a grin, and the group waves at you.

You rudely ignore them, crossing your arms before your chest. And as Sirius turns back to you, his frown is icy and he quickly matches your stance.

“You’re such a pain in my ass, Y/N…”

“And you’re a jerk.”

“Asshole.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“You’re one to talk!”

“Oh, you talk plenty enough for both of us. And loudly so!”

Before he can reply, you’ve stepped back into your apartment and slammed the door.

You hear him pestering after you for a moment, then nothing, and finally a door slamming.

Well, that went well…

You are in trouble.

Big… huge trouble.

Your ex has just stepped into your shop, and you don’t know how to react.

You didn’t break up in a horrendous way, on the contrary! He wanted the two of you to remain friends, and you simply didn’t, worried that you wouldn’t be able to get over each other if you stayed in touch. And by the look he gave you as he stepped inside your shop ten minutes ago, and the many glances he’s thrown at you since, you’re pretty sure that you were right about this.

It's not like your relationship was terrible, by any means. Josh was nice, reliable, but also… not for you. You didn’t have much in common, at the end of the day, and if his personality and looks were nice, it was hard to build a lasting relationship on… nothing. It was for the best that you called it quits.

And as if your day needed any darkening, Sirius Black chooses this very moment to step into your shop. You don’t wait for him to aim for the counter to take out a large pouch in which you have gathered all the ingredients for his friend’s monthly brew. He smiles at the sight, moves towards you. And you hate yourself for the leap your heart makes as he comes closer.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi.”

It’s the first time you speak to each other since the ‘spoon and pan incident’, and you both hesitate. How are you supposed to act now? Apologise for being petty and kind of a dick? Ask for his apology for being a dick? Act like nothing happened?

“Thanks for Remus’s stuff,” Sirius says, voice quieter than usual, gentle, asking for a truce.

Outside, it’s snowing, winter claiming the streets of London, and there are little snowflakes caught in Sirius’s hair. It looks lovely.

All of a sudden, you’re longing for some eggnog, and some pumpkin pie.

His fingers are cold when they meet yours, tips brushing over your knuckles as he picks up the bag, and you hate your own heart for stammering.

“No problem. You know the drill,” you tentatively smile, while Sirius hands you some silvery Sickles.

“I would also need pearl dust, please. Here’s the amount.”

He hands you a parchment with quantities written on it, four small packages to be prepared separately.

“How many hearts do you intend to break with so many love potions?” you joke, turning around to get to work.

The brass scale is set on a small table, pushed right against the wall, behind the counter. It is an easy task for a professional like you, measuring quickly while Sirius laughs.

“No one, thankfully,” he replied.

“Oh… some Amortentia, perhaps? Trying to figure out who your crush likes?”

“No… nothing like that. It’s the properties for invisibility that I’m looking for.”

“If you plan on breaking into Gringotts, I don’t want to know.”

Again, a loud laugh. And you wish you could hold back your smile, but you can’t, the sound is too infectious for that.

You’ve forgotten that your ex is here, you’re reminded of his presence only when you turn back towards Sirius and he’s standing right behind your tall neighbour, a bag of potion ingredients in his hands.

You avert your eyes, and Sirius frowns at the sight. He glances over his shoulder, spots your ex, but says nothing. You only notice how he tightens his hold on the pouch.

“Pearl dust’s quite expensive,” you tell him, handing him the phials, before announcing the price.

“That’s alright.”

He hands you the galleons, takes the vials, but doesn’t step away just yet.

“You… you’re okay?” he asks, and you’re not sure what to do with his expression. It’s somewhere between annoyance and genuine concern.

“Yeah, sure.”

He nods, like he’s disappointed. He’s not bringing up The Incident, and so you won’t either.

“Right, good day.”

He turns in a hurry, not waiting for your answer, but you notice the way he throws a look back before stepping out into the street, snow falling over his dark coat and dark hair again. You hate how your eyes linger on his frame until he’s out of sight, walking down the busy street, but you can’t help it…

“Hello, Y/N.”

You’re brought back to Earth as your ex speaks, and you turn to him, your smile turning from genuine to polite.

“Hi, Josh.”

“How are you?”

“Good! Do you need anything else?” you ask, pointing at the ingredients he’s put on the counter.

“Huh… no, nothing else.”

“That makes two Galleons, 5 Sickles and 3 Knuts, please.”

He hands you some money, and you hand him his change. You see him hesitating, before diving.

“Look, I… I came here hoping to see you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I… I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about what happened, and… Look, I know I could have done better when it came to us. And I thought… perhaps… if you were willing to give me another chance…”

“Josh…”

“Just… hear me out...”

“No. I’m sorry, but no. We… we were not compatible, that’s all. I like you, you’re nice, but… It won’t work between us.”

Slowly, he nodded, apparently defeated. And when another client cleared their throat behind him, he finally left.

What a mess of a morning…

It is Friday night, and the Marauders are keeping it down. You are surprised by it, but you can only praise these men for being, for once, well-behaved. 11:30, as you slip under the covers, ready for some well-deserved rest before waking up too early to open the shop in the morning. You are ready to fall into Morpheus’s arms and abandon yourself to slumber when someone knocks on your door.

You ignore the sound for a while, but it starts again, and again…

And you thought Sirius was making some efforts. You were ready to commit murder…

You stand up, grab a bathrobe and walk to the door, ready to throw hands with Sirius at this point. Only… only, when you actually open the door, it’s not Sirius who’s facing your wrath.

It’s Josh.

“What… What are you doing here?” you ask, too stunned to think about being polite. “It’s almost midnight.”

But then he looks up at you, and you notice at once that he’s been drinking. His eyes are glimmering, he sways slightly before finding back his balance…

“Josh…”

“Y/N, I… I know that now is not the time, but… please, give me another chance. Please…”

“Josh, we’ve talked about this. Us… it’s over. We’re not getting back together. I’m sorry.”

“But I can try and be better. I’ll be better, let me show you.”

You push him off when he staggers forward, trying to hold you.

“Josh! Stop it!” you raise your voice, trying to get him to let go.

“Please…”

“I said no! Get off!”

He’s finally letting go, but doesn’t take a step back. Instead, he leans against your doorframe, not stepping inside, but making it impossible for you to simply go back in and close the door.

“Josh! Go away! I’m sorry, but this is over between us. You have to leave me alone!”

“But I don’t want to! Y/N!”

“Hey!”

You’re both distracted by the new voice that comes shouting through the corridor. Sirius is standing before his front door, wearing a Queen t-shirt and some dark sweatpants, in what you guess his is nightly outfit. Still, when he comes nearer, hair tied in a bun, glowering, he looks intimidating, tattoos all over his arms on full display, traces of ink peeking above the collar of his t-shirt.

You think for a second that he’s going to make a scene because of how noisy you are right now, not ironic at all given his habits of messing your sleeping schedule, and you’re ready to get angry at him, because this truly is the last thing you need tonight, when…

“You leave her the fuck alone!”

You’re too stunned to react when Sirius comes to stand right by your side.

“She told you to fuck off, so you fuck off!”

“Who the fuck are you?” Josh replied, words a little slurred.

“Her boyfriend,” Sirius lies, but it works wonders, as Josh becomes suddenly very pale. “Now, you fuck off, or I’ll throw you out of the building.”

“You? With him?” Josh asks as he turns to you, and you feel pity for the pain in his eyes, but you don’t regret leaving him.

“Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. Now, please, Josh… leave me alone.”

But he shakes his head.

“I can’t. I can’t. I still love you…”

Sirius looks at you, but you shake your head.

“You have to leave me alone and move on.”

“No… I… I’ll come back later…”

Sirius notices your worry, it almost looks like fear, and he doesn’t hesitate when he grabs Josh by the collar.

“You listen to me now, dickhead,” Sirius growls, it’s almost animalistic, and you’re frozen by this threatening tone of his. “If you set a foot in this building again, if you go see her at her shop, if you so much as breathe in her direction or step in the street she’s in, I will come for you, and I will make sure you can never bother her again. Do you get that?”

“You’re bluffing.”

Sirius grins, something twisted and terribly dark, and even you shiver when he speaks again, voice low and terrible.

“I fought for the Order during the war. I’m a Black. Trust me, you don’t want to fuck with me.”

Slowly, Josh nods, struggling to swallow.

“So… will you leave her alone?”

Again, Josh nods.

“Good boy. Now get the fuck out of here.”

He’s barely released Josh that he’s sprinting down the stairs, stumbling and catching himself against the wall, before disappearing.

But you don’t see that. You’re staring at Sirius, and seem unable to look away.

“You’re alright?”

You’re startled by the softness Sirius’s voice is now wearing, such a stark contrast with the threatening tone he wore a minute ago.

“Y/N? You’re okay? He didn’t hurt you, right?”

“What? No… no, I’m fine! He just… showed up and I couldn’t get rid of him.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“Thank you,” you whisper as he gets closer.

“You’re sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, just… a little shaken, I think.”

Slowly, Sirius nods.

“Hey, no need to worry, okay? I’ll keep an eye out tonight. He won’t bother you again. And if he does, in the coming days or weeks, and I’m not around, then you come and tell me. I’ll give him a good fright, and he’ll leave you alone.”

“Thanks but… why would you do that for me? You hate me.”

Sirius chuckles at that, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t hate you. You’re annoying, but I don’t hate you.”

“Oh…”

His touch is infinitely gentle when he rests his hand on your arm.

“You can go back to sleep. Don’t worry, he won’t bother you again tonight. I promise.”

Slowly, you nod, a little too stunned to complain or argue or discuss what has just happened. Instead, you walk back to your apartment, lock the door, and go back to bed, thinking about the way Sirius’s hands looked gentle without his rings…

You’re in a hurry this morning. Your brain has not finished to process everything that has happened last night, but this will have to wait. You must rush to the shop, and you can’t find your bloody wand…

Ha! There! What is it doing under the couch? Never mind, you need to hurry, and you need to hurry now!

Only, when you open the front door, you almost trip onto a large black door sleeping on your threshold. A huge black dog, as a matter of fact.

“What in Merlin’s beard…?!”

His ears perk up at the sound of your voice, and he looks up at you with dark grey eyes that remind you of someone…

But it’s impossible, of course. That must be his dog, though. Since when does Sirius has a dog though?!

The animal slowly stands, a real giant, all dark fur and intimidating growls, until he’s shaken some sleep off its frame, and then he looks up at you, as if expecting a command.

“Hi,” you say, feeling foolish, but finding nothing better to say.

The dog merely comes closer, slowly, ears down in submission, as if he’s worried to scare you away. You hold out your hand, and he hurries to rub his snout into it, licking your fingers.

You giggle at the sensation.

“You look intimidating, but you’re a good boy, aren’t you?”

He barks in agreement, and you give him scratches as a reward.

“Who do you belong to, huh? Are you Sirius’s dog?”

The dog merely licks your fingers again.

“You look the part, at least. You fit the motorcycle-and-leather-jackets aesthetic.”

A few scratches more, and you finally remember that you are running late…

“Shoot!”

You lock the door, hurry towards the stairs. But you stop the dog when he tries to follow.

“No, no, no! I’m going to work, you stay here. I’m sure Sirius will be back soon. You stay here.”

The dog blinks, but sits anyway, letting you go.

For the whole trip to the store, you wonder who this dog belongs to, and who would let him sleep outside like this. If he really did belong to Sirius, he would hear about this…

Your day is a weird one.

After arriving almost late, but not quite, you spend your morning being busy and running around the store looking for the right ingredients for various potions and clients. And yet, several times during your shift, you feel someone looking at you.

The first time, it’s Sirius, who’s squinting on the other side of the glass door. He looks away the second your eyes land on him, and you’re almost certain that he blushes, although you didn’t think it to be possible to make Sirius Black blush.

The second time, it’s the black dog again, who remains sitting by the door under the falling snow for about ten minutes before leaving.

The third time, it’s the dog again, you see him being petted by a customer as she walks out of the shop.

But if the dog belongs to Sirius, then you guess that he’s been around several times throughout the day, which seems odd. Also, you want to chastise him for leaving the animal alone in the cold for extended periods of time throughout the day. Is he heartless?!

So, as you go home that night, you leave your coat in your apartment before heading to Sirius’s.

He answers on the second knock.

“Oh! Hi, Y/N!” he grins a welcome at you. “Need anything?”

“Yeah… I wanted to talk to you, if you have a minute.”

He merely nods, moving to let you inside.

You’ve been here a couple of times before, but you still appreciate the warm atmosphere of the large space that forms his living room. A huge Gryffindor flag is hung across the wall on the right, while windows let you see falling snow over the roofs of Diagon Alley on the opposite side of the room. A large chimney surrounded by comfortable armchairs and sofas, along with a soft red carpet seem to call for you.

“So? What can I do for you, Y/N?”

You turn to him again while he points at the sofa, silently inviting you to sit, but you remain standing. You cross your arms, and he frowns at the sight.

“Where’s your dog?”

Your tone is sharper now, and his frown only deepens, brows knitted together.

“My what?”

“Your dog. Huge. Black. Looks like he could bite my throat off.”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“Really? He’s been following me around all day. He was on my threshold this morning…”

“…Y/N…” he tries to interrupt you, but you don’t let him.

“No! Listen… Thank you for what you did last night. I was really… Thank you. Josh wouldn’t leave and you were most definitely helpful. But let’s be clear, I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself! I don’t need your protection or anything, got it?”

You wonder why he’s smiling now, but he is all the same.

“Got it. Was just trying to be helpful.”

“You were.”

“Good.”

“Good. But your good action doesn’t mean that I’m going to accept any harm coming to this cute dog of yours!”

“I thought he wanted to bite your throat off.”

“He looked like he could. He was pretty sweet, though.”

“Hmmm…”

“Anyway… what’s wrong with you!? Leaving him outside all night and then in the street while it was snowing!?”

“Y/N, relax. I don’t have a dog, let me explain.”

“Then whose dog is it? Cause we have to find his owner, I’m going to throw hands!”

Sirius laughs, his usual, bark-like laugh, and your puzzled by the sound. It resembles a bark even more than usual.

Sirius heaves a sigh, shakes his head, apparently hesitating, but eventually, he takes a step closer.

“You have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this.”

“Why?”

“Because if you do, I might be arrested.”

Your eyes grow round.

Oh dear… the…

“…Potion. The potion! You’ve done something illegal with it!”

Sirius laughs again.

“The pearl dust you mean? It’s just a trick for my godson, for Christmas. How do you think the presents get under the tree without anyone carrying them in? The fellow is a rascal, standing watch all night to catch Santa red-handed. We need to get more and more creative each year. No, don’t worry, it’s nothing like that.”

“Oh… but then… what are you talking about?”

“Do you promise that you won’t tell?”

“Have you killed someone?”

“Of course not!”

“I don’t know, you were pretty… scary last night.”

“Did I scare you?”

“No… but Josh was ready to faint.”

He laughs again at that.

“I haven’t harmed anyone.”

“Okay… then, I promise.”

Sirius hesitates some more, before warning you not to freak out. You don’t have time to question him though, he’s already transforming into…

“… the black dog!”

You gasp at the sight, but you don’t back away when Sirius approaches under his animagus form. Instead, you reach out for him, giving him a few scratches between his ears, making him wiggle his tail happily.

“Oh wow… you’re an animagus! This is beautiful…”

He laughs as he changes back into human, the sound still somewhere close to a growl.

“Am I a good boy, then?” he teases, making you laugh. “No need to call for the animal welfare…”

“But… what were you doing around the shop today? And last night? Did you sleep on the porch?”

Sirius averts his eyes, and you have to double-check, but you’re certain that he is blushing right now.

“Ha, that… I didn’t mean to look like a creep or anything. But I… I was worried your ex would come back. Just wanted to check on you, ‘s all. I didn’t follow you around or anything! I just… went to check that you were alright at the shop a few times.”

“Why?”

He looks up at you with a slight frown, as if it is obvious, as if you’re stupid for not guessing.

“Because… I was worried about you.”

“About me?”

“Is it so surprising?”

“You hate me.”

“Again, I don’t hate you. You’re simply annoying the shit out of me. I like it, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

You blink, trying to make sense of all this, and Sirius looks at you with amusement.

“Is that why you were quiet last night? To not bother me?”

“Oh, the boys weren’t here. Busy week. We’ll be back at being insufferable next Friday.”

You roll your eyes at that, but Sirius laughs.

“I’m joking! I understand, okay? We’re too loud. We’ll keep it down from now on.”

“Right, okay…”

He bit his lip, ran a hand through his hair, in what you guess is shyness. God, you would have never thought to use this adjective to describe him. His rings catch the warm light of the fire burning in the hearth as he moves his fingers through his hair.

“Look, I… I’m sorry for the other night. Actually… for all the other nights. We’ll be more careful next time,” he says, and you raise an eyebrow in surprise.

You never thought you would hear an apology from him, even less so an earnest one, and yet…

“Thank you, Sirius. I’m sorry, too. It was petty and uncalled for.”

“No, you… you were right.”

He heaves a frustrated sigh, runs a hand through his long dark curls again, rebel strands falling before his eyes. You hold tightly onto the sleeve of your hoodie, refraining the sudden urge to push the curls away from his face, brush them behind his ear…

“Look, I… I don’t want us to be on bad terms,” Sirius goes on. “Could I make up for being a dickhead by buying you some fancy Christmas drink? My treat. As a token of good faith and a sign for peace in our building?”

He offers you his open palm, and you shake hands with a smile adorning both of your faces.

“Deal.”

“Any afternoon free this week?”

“Wednesday?”

“Then, I’ll buy you the fanciest cocoa I can find. And even some pumpkin pie, if you’re nice.”

“Sounds good.”

You’re reluctant to pull away but have to let go of his hand.

“Actually… scratch that,” Sirius shakes his head. “Would you go on a date with me?”

Your eyes grow round.

“A date? With you?”

“Yeah. On Wednesday?”

“But… with you?”

“Don’t act so surprised. You really think I play bodyguard for just anybody?”

You laugh at that, you can’t help it, even if you’re still quite stunned by the whole situation.

You weight your options, but then you look at him again, and the answer you want to give is obvious, even if he gets on your nerves all the bloody time…

“Okay. A date. On Wednesday.”

He grins, bright and infectious.

“Great! Awesome!”

“Great.”

“Great.”

You remain staring at each other for a moment, both of you trying to hide your excitement, until you finally clear your throat.

“I should…” you begin, pointing at the door.

“Sure… busy day?”

“You can’t imagine.”

“Hmm…”

You hurry towards the door, feeling overwhelmed by his nearness.

“See you on Wednesday then!” he calls after you as you reach for your own door.

“Sure! But it better be the best hot chocolate I’ve drunk, or I’ll ask for a refund!”

He laughs, and when you turn one last time towards him, Sirius is leaning against his doorframe, staring at you with a grin on his lips and mischief painted all over his features. He winks, and your heart skips several beats.

“Oh, don’t worry. You won’t regret this.”

*********************************

Taglist :

@reg-arcturus-black @hells-escapees @omgrachwrites

@wolfmoonmusic

[yanderambling]

I'm already loving your posts

what do you think about a yandere assistant and villain reader?

They would be so frustrated because the reader is spending all theirs energies thinking of a plan to capture the hero and not giving them enough attention.

100% would kill the hero behind reader's back

i'm so glad! and yes please i love a jealous little creep, i'm already obsessed <3

concept: Henchman!Yandere(gn) x Supervillain!Reader(gn)

words: ~700

CW: 18+, yandere behavior, stalking, breaking/entering

You look so alluring when you scheme. No earthly or heavenly beauty could compare to the mere sight of you:

The stern concentration pinching your brow just slightly, your arms flexing as you clench and release your fists over and again, your lip idly drawn between your teeth on blessed occasion- it’s enough to make someone bite through their tongue (just partially, and it was only twice).

Tau watches you plan for hours a day (even when they technically have other tasks to carry out), they like to imagine it’s them you’re looking at with such a single-minded focus (perhaps knelt over them on your bed, deciding precisely which ways you want to take them apart).

What they wouldn’t give for just a fraction of the attention you constantly bestow upon that sniveling little “hero”. It’s not even like the hero has done anything to deserve your dedication, not like Tau has.

No, all they did was beat you (which few have ever done). And then… keep beating you (which none have ever done).

Tau knows how much you hate to lose, lower grunts have payed with their lives for Uno games, but… there’s something more to your preoccupation with that vigilante wannabe.

They can see it in the way your bright eyes flick about the room, the way your lips just barely part as you mumble strategy and probability, the way you zone out during meals (that they made for you, naturally) then dart up to your office to test an idea, the way you constantly stay up well into the next morning trying out new inventions and gadgets to take them down- Tau hates to think it, but they know it’s true:

This hero is… motivating you.

As delightful as it is to see you so lively, Tau can’t help the furious jealousy that roils in their gut almost constantly these days.

Why can’t they be the one to make you feel like this? Why can’t they challenge you, inspire you? Why can’t they bring that spark to your eyes?

They should be able to.

They’ve been by your side since the beginning, supporting and encouraging you through every high and low, they know you better than anyone does (yourself included)- and, goddamnit, they deserve it! They’ve given everything to you, and all they ask for in return is a second glance (then a third, then a fourth, then- oh, just stop looking away already!)

It's just not fair- that boot kisser gets every second of your free time, every spare thought, all 'cause they can take (...and deal) a couple hits? (More than a couple; Tau has definitely tried to take them down on many a solo mission, and they've always come out worse for it. They don't wanna talk about it.)

At the very least, they do get to spend a little more time with you, even if it's to watch you obsessively plan for the hero's interruption of your next evil venture.

They're still the one by your side.

They still get to stand at your shoulder and pass you tools as you work on a project (and bite their cheek every time your fingers touch to hold back a moan).

They still get to brush their shoulder against yours while you both stand over a blueprint (and then spend the next fifteen minutes trying not to hyperventilate and/or enter cardiac arrest).

They still get to hang up your cloak after a strenuous mission (and bury their nose in it until the edges of their vision go dark, and lick your sweat off the collar until their tongue is raw, and rub the damp material across their skin until they can feel you all over them).

(They still get to sneak into your bedroom every night with the spare key they made under your nose. They still get to pant over your face as they bask in your glory, as they breathe your breath. They still get to oh so carefully interlace their fingers with your own, intoxicatingly warm ones, they still get to pretend you'd ever want to hold them.)

Yes, they're still very much happy with their position- they'll just be much happier once that nuisance is taken care of.

Then, they can focus solely on aiding you in your endeavor for world domination, and you can focus on what really matters: them!

thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3

check my pinned post~

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 22

Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27

Oystein was having a slow day. He was exhausted and annoyed but the moment the bell on the door sounded, he was ready to send Varg's groupies out of the door.

"If you're looking for Varg he's not-" Oystein looked up from the magazine he was reading and there she was. Y/n stood sheepishly, hands in her pockets and a nervous smile on her lips.

"Oh..hey...hey how- how are you?" Oystein stuttered as she approached the counter.

"I'm alright. I wanted to come by and thank you for the flowers...and food. It was really sweet and you didn't have to-

"Y/n...come on." Oystein shook his head letting her know that even if she despised him, he would have sent something.

"Your parents actually came by a few times. Your mom said you wanted to come by but you didn't want to upset me..." Oystein watch her fidget with her hands and could tell she was uncomfortable.

"Come to my office, we can talk for a minute." He extended his arm towards the door but she hesitated.

"Trust me, it's okay." Oystein added. She walked into his office and noticed the picture was gone and nowhere to be seen. She felt a small sense of ease as she sat in the chair in front of his desk and he pulled his chair to sit opposite her.

"Can you give this to your parents for me? It's a thank you from my family and I don't want to forget to give it to you." She handed the card to him and he took it.

"Yeah I'll get it to them." He nodded.

"I see you shaved your mustache." She gestures to his face and he smiles.

"Yeah well, I got some less than stellar reviews on it so I figured it had to go." Oystein gave a smile smirk and she nodded her head.

"Hey, I know this is super late and I don't deserve your consideration or forgiveness but I wanted you to know how insanely sorry I am for...everything. How I treat you, the things I did and said, how I was about Pelle...I didn't know about your brother but that's not an excuse for how I handled Pelle's death." Oystein spoke sincerely and Y/n could feel herself allowing his words to sink in.

"Honestly, you're probably the only person who knows what's going through my head right now. Finding Pelle like that...finding my brother...you feel gutted. Completely and utterly hollowed." Oystein carefully reached out and took her hand.

"Don't let that be what you hold of him. I've been fighting that in my fucked up brain since it happened. Remember your brother the way you loved him." Y/n nodded in agreeance.

"My aunt told me you called during Shiva." She sniffled and he rubbed his thumb under her eye to catch the tears.

"I wanted to be there for you so badly but I knew I had fucked things up so royally, I didn't want to make it worse. I didn't want you to feel like I was somehow rubbing it in or trying to cause you pain. I just...I want to fucking hug you so bad." Oystein explained. It hurt him to see her this hurt.

"I want that. I want to be able to feel safe and comforted in your arms but I can't ask you to be two people Oystein. I can't accept the way you portray yourself, I can't handle everything that comes with Euronymous." She explained sadly.

"You know who I am. I don't want to pretend losing Pelle didn't hurt anymore. I don't want to sit around and watch something that I created out of love turn into something that I hate. I've been pretending to be this shell of a human for so long trying to protect myself from my own pain that I forgot what it felt like to hear this music and truly connect. You were right, music doesn't have to be one thing. It can be universal." She smiled listening to Oystein talk. This was the guy she fell for. This is the one she missed terribly and wanted to spend every moment with. She never thought she would see him again but here her was.

"I can't believe you shaved it off. It truly was hideous though." She let got of his hand and ran her thumb over his upper lip.

"Yeah it didn't feel like me. This feels more my speed." He nodded knowing she was happy he had gotten rid of it.

"You also need to dye your roots." She ruffled his hair making him laugh out loud for what seemed like the first time in a long time.

"Well maybe you can come by my new place and help me with that." Oystein said it casually and Y/n bit her bottom lip.

"No bad behavior, just having a beer and dying my hair. Nothing crazy, I promise." Oystein held his hand up and she rolled her eyes.

"As if anything with you has ever been sane." She said checking her watch.

"I've got to get to work. Hammeed has been really cool about me being off so long, I don't want to be late." She stood up and Oystein walked her to the door.

"Oh hey I want you to have this." Oystein ran to his desk and tore a piece of paper off the notepad before writing his number on it.

"This is my number now. No roommates so if I don't answer, I'm probably here...you have the number here so..." She took it and looked at it as they walked out of the office.

"Oh look who it is. You know face fucking on company time reflects badly on the label. You should really stay focused on getting my record figured out." Varg said turning his nose up at Y/n.

"Are you friends with this guy now? I thought he was like stalking you guys?" Y/n asked not even bothering to speak to Varg.

"I'd watch my mouth if I were you. I follow no one. Clearly you need to catch up or fuck off." Varg stepped closer to Y/n and Oystein slid his body in front of her.

"Kristian, isn't it? You should really put something in place of your Scorpions patch. Your jacket looks a little naked." She laughed.

"It's Varg, Cunt."

"No one cares, Clown." Y/n didn't hesitate to fire back at Varg and Oystein was baffled at her bravery. He admired so many things about Y/n but one of his favorite things about her is that she didn't fear anything or anyone.

She put her hand on Oystein's back and squeezed his forearm with her other hand.

"I'll call you." She said sweetly. He gave her a nod and watched her walk towards the door.

"Oh good luck with the patch search, Larg!" She called out and before Varg could correct her, she shut the door in his face. He was fuming looking at Oystein before storming back down to join the others in the circle common area. Oystein couldn't help but feel like he got a little piece of himself back again.

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Fig Faeth Junior Year Playlist: Side A

It's no surprise that Fig Faeth's playlist is the one that I actually listen to the most. It's just a very good vibe and I love her. Took extra time to Song descriptions and thoughts down below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10.

Genres included: Pop-punk, Punk, Alternative

1. hair out, Stand Atlantic

Am I fuckin' up my life? I'm just tryna make improvements Slowly givin' up the fight But I gotta cover up the bruise That I get from all the Expectations give me vertigo Wasting away to the pressure The pressure, The pressure, oh

This song is such an earworm, scratching a specific itch in my brain. Love the fact that both Kristen and Fig (the failing girlies) start with a Stand Atlantic song, and it works with the way that Fig is coming at this season. From the jump, she is one of the most visibly and audibly burnt out, specifically from the pressure of the "sophomore album" that was supposed to come out months ago. This song is definitely about the pressures of a songwriter as well as the pressures of life in general so it fits sooooo perfectly. Especially with the "I can already here people hating the song" outro *chefs kiss*

2. Who The Hell Am I?, NOBRO

God, I'm tired of being like this I can change, but in a minute Always looking for the back door, on the run Always at the party, never quite having fun Play with fire, and you're gonna get burned I'm on fire, and you know it hurts I was always on the outside looking in Maybe it's me 'cause I never wanna fit in

Fig's class struggles, her conversation with Mazey, I can't take it. I feel like we've all been there. I really love how the narrative with her has progressed, like last season was deconstructing her need to mold herself into other people (or into an idealized version of herself) now she's trying to figure out who she is at her core without all the disguises.

3. 7 Years Bad Luck, Glasseater

Something strange seems to be plaguing me Everything I touch falls apart I've lost it all, losing all my luck Suffering 7 years bad luck

I don't particularly love this song, a little too unintentionally underproduced, but it deserves a spot on this playlist. I feel like I would be Fig in the curse situation. It took me a literal year to deal with debilitating stomach problems, and I, too, waited until my friends noticed to actually do something about it. Either way, can't wait to learn more about the weird Galier Pride curse, love the representation for my stomach problem girlies

4. Where the Heart Is, Sweet Pill

Get this My mind's been in a million places but my body hasn't moved an inch And I feel like I'm missing out again Ignoring my plans Wondering how they went Feeling bad about it If I could just take a chance I wouldn't feel so bad To see past myself I wouldn't feel so bad

This is Fig's final decision to try Paladin after doing so well with Warlock. She knows the priorities in her gut don't match with what anyone else says, but she's discovering her loyalty. She's figuring out her actual drive... following her heart <3

5. Impostor Syndrome, Sidney Gish

Unfortunately, I am My own dog, my own fur companion My own old lady on a forum Who types in glittery decorum Unfortunately, I take Myself out walking every day and I had my legs to the feet and I give my head to the leash

Making Fantasy High playlists is like making a ven diagram of which dog-themed songs are Tracker-coded and which are Fig-coded. This one, to me at least, is Fig-coded. (yes, I do have a tracker playlist, and yes, every song in it is dog/wolf specific, BUT THEY'RE GOOD OK). We love our Oath/Pact of the German Shepard.

6. You Owe Me Nothing In Return, Alanis Morissette

I'll give you countless amounts of outright Acceptance if you want it I will give you encouragement to chose The path you want if you need it You can speak of anger and doubts Your fears and freak outs And I'll hold it

So I know that we're gearing up for Fig's Warlock/Paladin agreement post "mooner yulenear," but this is my interpretation of what it's going to look like. She cares about her friends, and she would do anything for them! And though I know this song came out in 2002, Alanis Morissette is a 90's icon and perfect for the grungy riot grrrl vibe I see for her

[chrissbluehat]

Nervous

Pairing : y/n and Chris Sturniolo 

Summary: you lived a pretty standard life, you kept to yourself mostly, and never felt you drew the eyes of anyone. Though this always felt conflicting when comparing yourself to friends. This was until a boy came into your life and flipped it completely around.

I hope you guys enjoy this, the later parts will get more interesting and I'm starting to write part 2

Warnings : drinking

Part 1 

I was stuck at Lily's party. I hated every aspect of parties, call me a loser, nothing will change my mind about them. I didn’t see the appeal of being around drunk, messy teenagers claiming to be having the time of their lives minutes before spewing their guts in a corner and joining the lot that were already passed out. If you ever catch me in this state, please know I'm probably going through some kind of personal hell. I only came to this party because Lily is my friend and I didn't want to reject her invitation and look like a bad friend for not going and enjoying the comfort of my bedroom while everyone else was there.

I headed towards the kitchen and grabbed a drink and retreated towards my friends,  I was a social drinker, in the sense that I only drank if practically forced to, my friends claimed “no guys are ever going to like you if you look like you don’t know what fun is”, so I would carry around the same bottle the whole night and take a couple sips out of it to avoid judgement from my friends. As I returned I noticed that each of them had a guy around their waist, clinging onto them as if their lives depended on it. I had no clue who they were really, I knew they were on one of the sports teams because that's all Chloe knows about her little fling, clearly the two didn’t do much talking. I would say I don't blame her but he’s a hunch blonde, so not really my kind of guy, but you can’t be too picky in this day and age especially me. I stand awkwardly with the group, feeling isolated around this gathering of people looking for the one person that makes me feel any comfort in situations such as these.

“Jenna!”, I exclaim, with a sigh of relief. She was probably my closest friend, I confined in her for everything and she was like my other half and I would never let anything come in between that and neither would she. She was like an extraverted version of myself which is why we probably got on so well, we balanced each other out in ways others didn’t. She was the one that introduced me to the girls in my group after she started going to more outgoing extracurricular activities at school that I'd avoided. Though at times I felt I didn't understand the girls, I still loved them.

“Y/N!” She hugged me, being careful not to spill the drink in my hand. 

“Where have you been? I've been looking for you all night”. Honestly I was kind of lost without her, but I'd never admit that to her because I don't want her to feel obligated to be around me.

“Hayden”, she rolled her eyes with a giggle causing me to reciprocate her expression. “He told me to come and get him from his house so I've driven all the way there and guess what?”, she pauses

“What?”, I laugh.

“He’s fast asleep and totally forgotten about the whole thing, I tried to get him up and force him to come but the lump wasn’t barging”. We laughed together at the course of events. Jenna and Hayden had been together for 2 years and of all the high school relationships I've seen they’re the only pair I bet will last, touch wood. They gave me a little bit of faith in the men of today as he clearly loved her for much more than the average teenage boy would. I honestly didn’t even mind third wheeling around them, probably because the both weren’t keep on PDA which was good for me, they weren’t a cringfest like the rest of my friends with their boyfriends, you could tell they were just very comfortable around each other as as Jenna’s friend that made me happy to see.

Jenna looked down at my half full drink and gave me a smile, “are you still on your first one?”,

“Of course, I'm not drinking more than I need to”, I laughed, Jenna slightly grabbing my arm as she laughed on me. 

The topics between us changed fast and ended up on school, my focus slightly drifted as I noticed a brunette approaching the group of boys. I felt like I knew him for somewhere but I couldn’t figure it out which bothered me slightly, but I think that was showing on my face and I focused back on what was around me and realised the boy was smiling at me, a lightly blushed in embarrassment at the fact he noticed I was staring at him so hard. He started consuming my thoughts, an unfamiliar feeling as I never particularly cared for guys the way I was right now. I tried avoiding eye contact with him but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my head, god the power his stare had on me and I didn’t even know him, it didn’t help that they were a pretty blue shade, not the shade that terrifies and beams at you, it was gentle. His hair covered his face slightly and was ‘long’ but didn’t look neglected which was different, I couldn't imagine that suiting anyone other than him. It looked soft and kind of bouncy. He was overall pretty handsome. He wasn’t too tall but he was taller than me so that's all that mattered. I laughed to myself, regaining my attention on Jenna. 

“What are you giggling about, were you even listening?” she raises her eyebrows, smiling, she could never pretend to be mad at me. 

“Oh nothing”, smiling to myself still, I had no idea what this guy was doing to me, I had been around him for no longer than a minute and he had been acting like an idiot. I could feel my cheeks burning up again and decided I should probably go and step outside and reconnect with nature. “I’m going to go outside on the porch for a bit”. 

“Okay. We will probably still be in here when you come back”, we smile as I step out of the room and down the hall. The evening air hits me as I step outside, the loud music bassless from here and overall more peaceful, apart from the small gatherings that were also outside, mostly just smoking which didn’t bother me too much as long as they didn’t exhale near me. I walk towards a bench by the house and sit, resting my face in my hands contemplating that whole situation. Why was he looking at me like that? It all felt weird and different, a good different though. I wasn't exactly opposed to the feeling, I just simply wasn’t used to a guy looking at me like that. While lost in thought footsteps began to approach from behind me, I then heard an unfamiliar voice.

“Hey”, I looked up to see who it was and jumped a little realising it was the same guy that was looking at me back in the house. 

“Hi”, I tried not to blush as the realisation hit me. I needed to control myself, the blushing was getting ridiculous. “What are you doing out here?”,

“Oh I just came to talk to the mysterious pretty girl from earlier”, I giggled in response. In that moment the thoughts in my head were spiralling, he just called me pretty. I thought to myself, I must have misheard him. Maybe he wears glasses? There's no way he's talking to me. I then looked away from his blue eyes and to his hands and there laid his drink. He didn’t mean it, I knew it. I was so stupid for thinking that, even giving the thought a chance. 

He smiled at me and sat down next to me, a little too closely. I would have enjoyed the moment if it wasn’t for the fact he was drunk. I half smiled back at him and went back to looking forward. 

“You don’t seem like your friends”, he suddenly said. My head snapped as I heard this. I knew I wasn't but I didn't realise it was that obvious to outsiders. 

“What do you even mean by that”,

“Well for one you’ve been holding the same drink in your hand all night,” his head tilting towards the bottle that I'd abandoned on the floor next to the bench I was sitting at. My eyes followed him to the ground and then I looked back at him furrowing my eyebrows slightly. 

“I’m just not much of a drinker”,

“Do you pretend for them or something”,

“No, I'm not some people pleaser,” turning my head away from him, slightly annoyed at his words. “How do you know those guys? I know they are all on some sports team, but I know you don’t play”.

He smirks slightly “how do you know that?”,

“I go to the games because of my friends, get over yourself,” I laugh slightly and so does he. 

“I actually used to play but stopped a while ago. That's how I met them in the first place, and we played lacrosse. I get why you wouldn’t know that it's not widely popular I guess,” he tilts his head down slightly as he talks about playing. 

“Why did you quit?”, I say looking for his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” He turns away slightly, his pretty eyes starting to glass over, his eyebrows furrow and he looks as if he is about to cry. 

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude”,

“No you’re good you wouldn’t have known,” he turned his head back to me and gave me a faint smile. “Anyway what’s your name, I forgot to ask?”, standing up and offering out his hand.

“Y/N, yours?”,

“Chris,” and it flooded back. I knew him from homeroom, that’s why I was so sure I'd seen him before, I knew not to mention this to him as I didn't want to come off as obsessed or something for realising so quickly, or even noticing him as he clearly hadn’t noticed me before. I stared at him for a moment.

“Well I guess I’ll see you around pretty girl”. 

My face started to heat up again. “I’m never getting over him”, I think to myself.

[ontheshroom]

Hey, Big Head

Jack Harlow x fem!reader

Fluff

This is a part of the Copied Every Test universe link to it but can also be read separately

******************************

“Hello?” You answer your phone.

“Hey, big head. Can I come over?” Jack replies.

“Bro. What did I tell you about calling me that?” You sigh.

“That it turns you o-“

“Jack! You’re on speaker!” You yell, quickly taking him off speaker and leaving the room.

“Hi, Mrs. y/l/n!” Jack yells.

“You’re not on speaker anymore.” You roll your eyes.

“I’m coming over in five,” Jack says, you hear his turn signal in the background signaling he’s already driving.

“Alright, you’ll have to deal with the wrath of my mom who heard you say how turned on you make me.” You laugh.

“I know how to deal with older women,” Jack says cockily.

“Watch yourself. Drive safe.” You tell him before hanging up.

Jack has this bad habit of being on his phone while driving. You constantly get on him about it, but it seems he never listens.

After a couple of minutes, you hear him knocking at your door. You get up and answer the door. Jack stands in front of it with a big goofy smile on his face while holding two massive pumpkins.

“Hi, my love.” He greets you, leaning down to kiss you.

“Hi.” You blush, attempting to grab a pumpkin from him.

“Mmm mmm these are heavy, I got it.” He says, walking past you.

He sets the pumpkins onto your dinner table with a thud before searching for your mom who’s sitting on the couch watching her show.

“Hi, Mrs. Y/l/n.” He smiles, leaning down to hug her.

“Hi, Jack. I got a bone to pick with you. What’s this I hear about you turning my daughter on?” She says, raising an eyebrow.

“Turning her on to a new nickname, nothing inappropriate.” He lies.

“Mhm, watch yourself, Mr. Harlow.” She laughs.

“Yes ma’am,” Jack says, as your mom resumes watching her show.

Jack looks up at you and winks causing you to roll your eyes at him and flip him off.

“Hey don’t hate the player, hate the game, baby.” He smiles.

“Whatever.” You smack your lips.

The two of you decide to carve the pumpkins in your garage for privacy and less cleanup.

“Do you have a speaker in here?” Jack asks, looking around.

“Yeah, let me grab it for you.” You tell him, grabbing a small JBL speaker.

“Thank you, pretty.” He smiles.

The nickname sends electricity through your body that comes out in the form of a shy smile and a flustered face.

“Oh, you like that name.” Jack smiles and nods to himself.

“Shut up.” You whine.

He connects the speaker to his phone causing it to sing a ringtone. You hear his voice come through it and your eyes instantly perk up.

“Is this new!?” You ask him with a big smile.

“Yep. And all about you.” He beams, leaning over his pumpkin and pecking your lips.

I've been obsessed with your face. Thinking 'bout you and a dress and a date. Let me get some cash with this check at the bank and we can make the best of the rest of the day. I like it when it's sunny outside and I pull up at your crib 'round twenty past five and I'm staring at your walk when you coming outside. Ain't seen you in a minute, girl, it's fucking 'bout time that we get it. Tank top with the skin showin'. Light brown with the skin tone. Dime piece with the white teeth. She got her hair down like the windows. And you know that you're beautiful. The type of girl that got me really hoping I'm suitable. You been doing you and I don't really know what to do with you in the moment, so I'm driving a little slower than usual. I can tell you not a fuckin' dummy. When I'm with you I might try a little harder to be funny.

You pout as you listen to the lyrics, just barely cutting off the top of your pumpkin.

“This is great, Jack.” You praise him.

“You’re what makes it great.” He says, looking up momentarily.

You shake your head at him with a giggle.

You take the top off of your pumpkin at the same time as Jack does the same. The two of you scoop out the guts of the pumpkin while listening to different artists.

Once the two of you are done you both decide to start carving your pumpkins without telling each other what they say.

“Okay! Finished!” You announce after about an hour.

“Me too.” Jack sighs, tiredly.

“Flip ‘em over in 3…2..1!” The both of you expose your pumpkins to each other.

Yours says ‘Jack + Y/n’ while his reads ‘Be my boo?’

“Jack, you are so corny but so cute.” You giggle.

“So?” He asks, a big smile on his face.

“Yes, I’ll be your boo.” You laugh.

[moondarina]

hand in unlovable hand,

a soukoku playlist

╰┈➤ + some lyrics that remind me of them

I'm your man - Mitski

"You're an angel, I'm a dog

Or you're a dog and I'm your man

You believe me like a God

I destroy you like I am"

Cold Love - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

"It's second nature to love you, it's first to die

And we were killed upon waking, killed upon waking to the life

We weren't prepared to live but rebelled to realize

We were killed upon the pavement, Bonnie we're immortalized in"

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet? - Mayday Parade

"When you hear this chorus

Do you miss the way the world was spinning for us?

Do you hurt the way that I do?

After all this time you leave me broken

This song is every word I left unspoken

When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us

That you think of us"

Every You Every Me - Placebo

"Like the naked leads the blind

I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind

Sucker love I always find

Someone to bruise and leave behind

All alone in space and time

There's nothing here but what here's mine

Something borrowed, something blue

Every me and every you"

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want - Deftones

"Haven't had a dream in a long time

See, the life I've had

Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life

Let me get what I want

Lord knows, it would be the first time"

Out Of The Black - Royal Blood

"You made a fool out of me

And took the skin off my back running

So don't breathe when I talk

'Cause you haven't been spoken to

I got a gun for my mouth

And a bullet with your name on it

But a trigger for a heart

Bleeding blood from an empty pocket"

Black Sheep - Metric

"Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when

Our common goal was waiting for the world to end

Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend

You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again"

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac

"And if you don't love me now

You will never love me again

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain"

Francesa - Hozier

"My life was a storm, since I was born

How could I fear any hurricane?

If someone asked me at the end

I'll tell them put me back in it

Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah

If I could hold you for a minute

Darling, I'd go through it again,"

Kiss With a Fist - Florence + The Machine

"I broke your jaw once before

I spilled your blood upon the floor

You broke my leg in return

So sit back and watch the bed burn

Love sticks, sweat drips

Break the lock if it don't fit"

Tongues & Teeth - The Crane Wives

"I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel

It's all that I can give to you, my dear

And when you come in quick to steal a kiss

My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear"

Night Shift - Lucy Dacus

"Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth

Call you a bitch and leave?

Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet?

What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands?

I feel no need to forgive but I might as well

But let me kiss your lips so I know how it felt

Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down

Walk for hours in the dark feeling all hell"

Decode - Paramore

"The truth is hiding in your eyes

And it's hanging on your tongue

Just boiling in my blood

But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all

Well, I will figure this one out on my own"

Landfill - Daughter

"Well this is torturous

Electricity between both of us

And this is dangerous

'Cause I want you so much

But I hate your guts"

Romantic Homicide - d4vd

"In the back of my mind

You died

And I didn't even cry

No, not a single tear

And I'm sick of waiting patiently for someone that won't even arrive"

You Get Me So High - The Neighbourhood

"If you can just let me know if it's okay

To call you when I'm lonely"

Snap Out Of It - Arctic Monkeys

"Forever isn't for everyone

Is forever for you?"

The Other Side of Paradise - Glass Animals

"Bye bye baby blue

I wish you could see the wicked truth

Caught up in a rush, it's killing you

Screaming at the sun, you blow into

Curled up in a grip when we were us

Fingers in a fist like you might run

I settle for a ghost I never knew

Superparadise I held on to

But I settle for a ghost"

$TING - The Neighbourhood

"If you were human

If you were who I assumed you were

You wouldn't have done this"

Eventually - Tame Impala

"Wish I could turn you back into a stranger

'Cause if I was never in your life

You wouldn't have to change it"

Do Me a Favour - Arctic Monkeys

"It's the beginning of the end

The car went up the hill and disappeared around the bend

Ask anyone, they'll tell you

That it's these times that it tends

To start to break in half, to start to fall apart

Hold on to your heart"

505 - Arctic Monkeys

"But I crumble completely when you cry

It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye

I'm always just about to go and spoil the surprise

Take my hands off of your eyes too soon"

I Only Lie When I Love You - Royal Blood

"I only lie when I love you

I only crawl when I hit the ground

You only cry when I love you

I only lie when I make a sound"

Vampire Empire - Big Thief

"Well, I walked into your dagger for the last time

It's like trying to start a fire with matches in the snow

Where you can't seem to hold me, can't seem to let me go

So I can't find surrender and I can't keep control"

Neon Roses - The Technicolors

"But I still can't find a malice

It's a thrill slow shot reaction

But I never knew you at all"

Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo

"I've made some real big mistakes

But you make the worst one look fine

I should've known it was strange

You only come out at night

I used to think I was smart

But you've made me look so naive

The way you sold me for parts

As you sunk your teeth into me,"

Youngblood - 5 Seconds of Summer

"You push and you push and I'm pulling away

Pulling away from you

I give and I give and I give and you take

Give and you take"

Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys

"Crawling back to you

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

'Cause I always do

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new"

[namisweatheria]

I can't believe someone actually wrote Sakura hate on my Nami defending post. Anyone who knows me would shriek in horror. I'm so enraged I've tried and failed to begin this post about a million times now.

While I find it a massive failure of a person's quality of intelligence and character to hate on misogynistically-written characters using the exact same language as the larger misogynistic fanbase who also hates them, despite thinking of themselves as somehow different, in general... when it comes to Haruno Sakura at this point if you're out here on the internet in 2024 saying negative things about her in random comment sections I genuinely think you're a clueless idiot and I hate your stupid guts. lol

The online mania of Sakura hatred left it's fucking mark on people who grew up as girls watching Naruto. I honestly wasn't a very online kid, so I only know about that from my friends' experiences, but how the show itself treated her left it's mark on me all on it's own. And I can see the legacy of that mania online now! Anything that so much as mentions female characters, or sexism, or annoying characters, in anime, will get mean comments about her. It's still here and it's infuriating!

Everyone should be able to separate the bigoted writing that can make a character unpleasant, and the character itself. Otherwise one just ends up contributing to the wave of hatred from bigoted fans. That always ends up hurting real people!

The widespread out-sized fervent hatred of Sakura is particularly something there is no excuse to continue to add to. At this point she represents so much more than a specific character. She symbolizes the continuation of a fucked up online culture that directs their ire at female shounen characters instead of the men who wrote them into horrible little boxes.

So, I don't even have to defend her actual character. It's not really about that. I'm going to anyways though. Because I love her to pieces and so much said about her is just slander.

Sakura fucking rules and is a compelling sympathetic character with a good arc, she was just written by a man who hates women and takes every single opportunity to put his female characters in their place. (The fucking background, kitchen, or grave.) Sometimes all three in that order!

Sakura's worst crime is being a 12 year old Girl. She's insensitive, as 12 year olds can be. She's hyper-conforming to hetero-feminine roles, as her society expects her to be, and she's over-the-top and embarrassing about it, because she's 12.

In the beginning she's often weak and scared in the background, because that's the box she was put into as The Girl. If she had gotten to have equal capability with her teammates early on then Kishimoto wouldn't have been able to focus totally on the male characters he actually cared about. To blame her for that instead of sympathizing with the angst it caused her is so heartless and backwards.

All the writing involving Sasuke fucking sucked, and Sakura's the biggest victim of that. The whole "charm" of their "romance" is that she'll stand by him and love him no matter how terribly he treats her. Does that not sound fucking familiar. It is some of the most basic misogyny there is. That is an age-old evil expectation put on countless women, not a cute story. Hating their "romance", but expressing it by blaming her for being put into that role by Kishimoto is so fucking stupid.

(Also, it's so, so, easy to interpret her hyper performative heterosexuality as closeted lesbianism. She's so unintentionally gay-coded, especially her relationship with Ino.)

It very much happens silently in the background, because I think Kishimoto will spontaneously start choking on his own blood if he tries to focus on a female character instead of his male faves for more than a single minute, but Sakura does have a good arc! Remember Inner-Sakura? She was treated as just a gag, but if you take her seriously for a second you'll realize it was actually deeply disturbing.

Sakura was repressing her anger and goofiness, because she was trying so hard to be this want-able, feminine girl. It wasn't just her unspoken thoughts, she had a whole alternate personality tucked away because of the trauma of being a girl in a sexist society.

Ino describes it here as "A whole other psyche" and is so disturbed by it she asks her, "What are you?"

The most interesting, satisfying thing about Inner-Sakura is: She goes away. She goes away after Sakura trains under a strong, successful, funny, angry, loud woman. Tsunade helps Sakura express her anger instead of repressing it, just by being near her, she shows her the kind of woman she can be. She encourages her and teaches her to be strong and shows her it's okay to be mad. Now when Sakura is angry she can yell and punch a mountain into dust about it.

It's very much in the background, but it happens. And it's everything. How could you not care about it, once you notice it? How can you not care about her?

One of the most annoying things people say about Sakura is that she became strong out of nowhere. I think those people just weren't paying fucking attention to her lol.

Not to mention, if Naruto and Sasuke can each get super-powered Sannin to train them personally, why can't Sakura? What's wrong with that? She wanted desperately to keep up with them, to be strong enough to protect them, and she knew exactly who to go to. Why wouldn't you root for her?

So what if there's nothing that makes her special, to those who only care about genetic abilities and tailed beasts. She works hard. She fights tooth and nail. There's a reason she gets along so well with Rock Lee. In Kakashi's words, "Like Naruto, Sakura possesses a heart that cannot bear to be beaten." In Sakura's:

God, just. How can you not be obsessed with her? It's not her fault the sexist mangaka couldn't let her keep developing on-screen for more than one chapter per 30 volumes without actually grappling with the fact that there's a third person in his stupid two person narrative. She's so fucking great she's crazy she's rude she's funny she's audacious she has guts!!!!!!!!!!! You absolutely cannot come into my space with a negative word on her name. Love and respect Haruno Sakura or simply die.

[n4talia-chaparro]

Meanwhile at the party, sp krupp has brought his world famous party salad. It's a pink colored casserole type dish with every type of candy imaginable, that it almost could rot your teeth instantly, which is why he put apple slices in it. He brought a lot of it, like a lot a lot of it and is sharing some of it lumberjack krupp, who he invited to the party. The music from dj manatee is playing a remix of barbie girl.

Sp krupp: hm? Where is everyone? I told them the party was starting in 20 minutes and now 24 minutes have pass.

Lumberjack krupp: I'm sure the others will show up strange crossed eye guy, so who's this gp guy you told me about?

Sp krupp: oh his great, a bit murder happy, but who isn't. He loves coral blue #2 lipstick and men, I'm sure his about walk through those doors with party hat ready and maybe even a big surprise to really light up the party! :3

🌙||꒷꒦︶🪵︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🪵︶꒷꒦||🌙

Gp Krupp was overhearing the conversation between those two krupps. He rolled his eyes as he continue hiding himself behind the wall to avoid being caught.

He said as he tried to calm down, the music was giving him a headache. Gp then took a little peek again, glaring at them.

He always hated SP, he always hated his guts and hates everything about him with a burning passion. He really wanted to hurt him and rip him apart into piece, but was it really worth it?

Not really. Gp wasn't sure whether to step in and attack him and the other Krupp. He didn't understand what was causing him to feel weird even tho he doesn't believe in feelings or any sort of effect. His eyes softened a little as he continues to spy on them. For some odd reason, he couldn't stop keeping his eyes on SP, it was....confusing...

Why does his heart race too fast everytime he's near or close to him (someone else)?

Why is it hard to be open about it? Is it bad?

Is it normal for a smart and sick murderer to develope a strange feeling towards someone he hates?

Is it okay to feel bad for him and try to apologize or end the beef?

Is it okay to be friends with him?

Is this even normal???

"Why is he starting to feeling bad for a crossed eyed person who wanted to have fun?"

Who knows! No one knows the answers to those questions. This of course made Gp more frustrated and confused, his face was flushing red as his mind was slowly getting fuzzy.

He immediately shaked his head.

"DON'T screw this up Ben! You can't let that crossed eyed moron beat you. Keep it together!!"

He said to himself as he glanced at the other direction. Luckily he wasn't the only one coming to the "party". Few people were entering the room without noticing Gp Krupp's existence which is a good sign that the plan will actually work.

He wasn't sure if it will work or not but he had to. He has to prove them wrong. He has to. Otherwise, he will end up failing if he gets distracted. Thinking of the plans he wasn't sure if it's easy to hide his weapon.

Some people were walking by and calling it a confetti cannon as a joke, making GP pissed off but he liked the idea, knowing people were dumb enough to realize it was a dangerous weapon and not some sort of cannon with confetti.

So he finally entered the room with his weapon, avoiding any eye contact with anyone around him. It was hard to walk in because of the manatees were all over the ground but he was starting to get used to it back where I was saying; he entered the room. Trying to avoid the awkwardness, mostly trying hard not to look at SP or any Krupp involved in the party, ready to start his mission.

[riddle-me-ri]

Ok, here's another one. Zero Year, Arkham, BTAS Riddler

He is having a conversation with Reader, who he isn't on friendly terms with, and third Rogue. Rogue wanting to point something out says.

"It doesn't work! It's like asking Y/N if she would sleep with you"

"Eh." Y/N said.

"Excuse me?"

"Just because I hate his guts doesn't mean he doesn't have a pretty face."

A/N: hahaha this is brilliant! I hope you don't mind I took some liberties in the wording of the conversations but I hopw the idea still reads rip. This was such a fun exercise to write other Rogues! Thanks for requesting! Also N/N is nickname since Harley loves to give people nicknames ❤🖤 Also this is untitled cause I wasn't sure what to title these scenarios lol

Trigger Warnings: Suggestive themes and strong language

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler:

“You really don’t perceive me as a threat? The man that brought Gotham City to its knees?” Ed argued.

“Well, Gotham doesn’t really have the best legs to stand on…” Joker quips back. 

You roll your eyes, it’s never-ending feud between these two.

You just had to be stuck in an Arkham padded cell. Between the both of them. You weren’t even insane, they were just overpopulated at Blackgate, but if they didn’t get you out you were going to become insane eventually.

“Y/N, tell that absolute clown-”

“Hey don’t forget handsome!” 

Edward growls in frustration. “Tell him how I’m Batman’s superior foe. How I threw Batman into hiding! How I ran this city for months!”

Joker laughs. “You’ve gotta better chance convincing her to fuck you Eddie boy.” 

“Eh..well..”

“Huh?” Both men rushed towards the wall that separated them from you.

“Please tell me you’re joking…” You hear Joker mutter. 

“I mean…Don’t get me wrong he’s a smug pompous asshole…

Unknowingly, Edward and Joker both shrug and nod. The one thing they could agree on. Well that and Batman. 

“...but he is a cute pompous asshole. Not to mention his face is totally sit-able.”

For one rare moment the Joker was actually speechless for a minute. He laments, “please tell me your joking…”

“I’m afraid she’s dead serious, my friend. As she should be. Once I no doubt escape before the clown…I’d like to take you up on that offer…”

Arkhamverse Riddler: 

“Edward, it’s not going to work.”

“Oh please, what do you know, Crane? Only someone of my parallel intellectual prowess can see the immaculate results it will produce."

Crane blinks and rubs his temples. "Edward, how is building a race course full of obstacles going to prove you're more intelligent than Batman?"

"It calls for quick thinking! He can't possibly predict every twist and turn. The moment he thinks he's solved a puzzle, another one comes right up before a moment's notice! Only a cunning genius of my caliber can pull this off." 

"I'm afraid it'll be like you trying to court Y/N to bed. It's just not going to work.."

"Ah..well…" you interject.

The two men look away from Ed's blueprints on the table to steal a glance at you. You were steadily scrolling through your phone, not lifting your head once.

"W-What was that?" Johnathan inquiries not sure if he heard right. 

You look up to the master of fear and shrug your shoulders. "I mean yeah he's a greasy egomaniac, but he is handsome in a dirty rugged kinda way." 

Johnathan blinks as if still trying to compute this new development. He looks over to Edward who has gone uncharacteristically quiet. 

Edward's face was a deep shade of red and his eyes were as wide as saucers. Riddler.exe has stopped working, good luck trying to reboot. 

BTAS Riddler: 

"Harley, hitting the toy with a mallet won't help you solve it…"

"Sure it can! It fixed all my other problems!" Harley wounds back with her signature mallet. Before she can strike the puzzle toy, Edward snatches it out of the mallet's path.

"Harley..that's cheating…"

"C'mon, Eddie! I've already tried everything! It's like Y/N sleeping with you! It's impossible!"

"Well not…impossible…" You mutter.

"Did I hear that right, N/N? You'd sleep with Ed?!"

"I mean yeah he's an obnoxious know-it-all, but he's so adorable!"  

Harley fake hurls at your admission. 

Meanwhile Ed is walking away, lowering his hat to try and hide his reddening face from the both of you.

[fullstcp]

"Give Me A Minute" by Lizzy McAlpine Sentence Starters

GIVE ME A MINUTE

"Give me a minute."

"It's still you who remains."

"Kiss me again."

"I trade all I got in my name for you."

"Maybe it's time to forget you."

"Maybe it's time to throw dirt upon your name."

"It's no one's fault."

"I'll give you a minute."

"Maybe I'm what remains."

NOTHING / SAD N STUFF

"I don't wanna leave."

"Tell me why I'm going."

"I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do."

"Here's your shirt I stole."

"I can wear my own coat when it's cold. I don't need yours."

"I don't think I can do this anymore."

"I'm not sorry that I loved you 'til I couldn't breathe."

"I know that it's not what I need."

"It was good, but it's time for me to leave."

"Something doesn't feel right."

"Something doesn't feel like it used to."

"I don't know how to get back to what was."

OVER-THE-OCEAN CALL (ANDREW)

"Does this make sense to you?"

"I think my mind is far away."

"My brain's all out of sorts."

"I thought that I wouldn't cry."

"Breaking your heart breaks mine."

"This isn't working anymore."

"I needed space from you."

"This doesn't look like space to me."

"You hate the things I do and sometimes you hate me."

"I think your laugh is my cure."

"To love you is summer in reach."

"Kiss me and tell me I'm yours."

"Don't let me go."

"Just kiss me slow."

"I love you, you know."

I KNEW

"I knew that you loved me."

"I said I would never forget this and I never did."

"I knew when you looked up at me, this was where I was meant to be."

"Why did you have to go?"

"Why did you have to go so soon?"

"Why did you leave me there?"

"Why did you leave me without you?"

"Why did you think I knew?"

"I miss hearing all of your favorite songs."

WHERE DO I GO?

"I am good with directions."

"I have not lost my senses."

"I don't know how to figure out where to go from here."

"I'm lost and confused."

"Where do I go without you?"

"I drink so I don't think of you."

"I don't know if this was the right thing to do."

"I wanna tell you I miss you."

"I wanna tell you I love you, but do I really know how I feel anymore?"

TO THE MOUNTAINS

"Don't you try to reach me 'cause I won't pick up for you."

"I've got some things I need to do."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I've got some thinking to do."

"I'm trying to let go."

"I'm trying not to let you make me cry."

"I think I deserve to be alone."

"I've got to do this on my own."

YOU, LOVE (INTERLUDE)

"I won't waste my time saying things I don't mean."

"I don't want to fall just quite yet."

"It was you, love."

"Now I'm alone again."

MEANS SOMETHING

"That has to mean something."

"For some reason you're not here."

"I refuse to believe that means something."

"I don't know how to not think about you."

"Every time I trust my gut I think I'm crazy."

"I don't know how to put my trust in you."

SAME BOAT

"You are on my mind."

"I don't know why every time that I think of home I can picture you."

"I'm scared cause I don't know if you and I are in the same boat."

"Would I really tell you?"

PANCAKES FOR DINNER

"Don't wanna be forward."

"Don't wanna cross a line."

"To tell you is too scary, so I'll just say something else."

"I wish that you could hear me when I talk to myself."

"I wanna eat pancakes for dinner."

"I wanna get stuck in your head."

"I wanna dress up just to get undressed."

"Please save all your questions for the end, and maybe I'll be brave enough by then."

"What do I have to lose right now?"

"Maybe I won't ever say what's in my head."

HOW DO I TELL YOU?

"I'm a little scared you'll leave."

"I'm a little scared of being someone that you're scared to love."

"I don't want to make this about me."

"How do I tell you that I don't know what it means to be happy with somebody?"

"Who the hell can write a love song without making it too sad?"

"I'm a little prone to feel a little overwhelmed with it all."

"You are someone I want to know."

"I feel like I found my place."

APPLE PIE

"How do you make a home?"

"I never stay too long."

"Every house feels like home for a couple weeks."

"You feel like city life, apple pie baked just right."

"Home is wherever you are tonight."

"I'll be fine with that goodbye, as long as I don't say goodbye to you as well."

"If I'm with you, it's okay."

HEADSTONES AND LAND MINES

"Nothing works but time."

"It all hurts, but it's fine."

[cathymee]

How do you think Mr. Boatman will react about El Filibusterismo?

anon friend…i spent 5 minutes staring at this ask because i wasn't sure who mr. boatman was…i'm sorry if you weren't referring to elias, but i'm going to talk about elias lmfaoo i'm so sorry i am an idiot

** spoilers for noli and fili!! but i won't go into that much detail for each and every plot points in the book

i'm very curious about that myself!! especially since rizal apparently regretted killing elias off (can't remember the specific letter but i'm sure googling it would yield the source! i am just very lazy atm) because he was sure he wouldn't be able to write a sequel. if he was in good health as he wrote the last parts of noli, what would've changed? what role would elias play in the fili? would simoun still exist? i wish jose would've gone to detail on what he originally planned

but one thing we could be sure about though is that elias would be so fucking pissed. the man he sacrificed his life for, for reason/s we aren't even sure about — is it selfless love? is it a sense of brotherhood? a sense of "you and your ignorance are a danger to my country - you need to leave and stay away before you cause more damage to this already twisted system" or of "you deserve happiness and you wouldn't achieve it here, you need to leave - you cannot rot in here like the rest of us would"? both? all of this? — just ran around doing the opposite of what elias would've wanted to achieve and had been striving to achieve before he even came along. plotted a revolution rooted in hatred and vengeance, a revolution that pays no mind to the actual people of the country, only driven for simoun to play out his revenge and hurt those who have hurt him.

and elias understands vengeance. he understands loss and fear, of having everything get taken away from him. he understands the motivations of crisostomo, why he did what he'd have done - it had always been cris who had had his eyes closed and his ears covered, who refused to understand what elias stood for from his place of privilege - but what the fuck, you know? because in the end all the suffering simoun had caused were for nothing. he didn't get to save maria, nor change something in the system like he 'wanted' to. nothing, not one positive effect. those who were in power still remained in power, but he made his people suffer even more to enforce his miserable, tyrannical beliefs.

but i also feel like he knew that it would've been inevitable. from their conversations on elias' boat, from the fact that crisostomo refused to be swayed from his ignorance. so i feel like letting himself die there under the balete feels like a loss of hope — a sense of giving up and letting crisostomo be, without any semblance of hope that crisostomo would do the right thing. instead he passes this hope to basilio instead, the figure of the youth — and it was the youth in the form of isagani that foiled simoun's plans in the end, and the opposite of vengeance - love - that motivated him to do it.

so tl;dr: he'd slap the shit out of crisostomo (but would still forgive him) and would fistbump isagani in the afterlife /hj

ETA✨: i forgot that mc&i kind of expanded on this!! & only kind of because of klay's influence!! even then i feel like the writers did well with how they wrote elfili!elias — he absolutely hates simoun's guts but his devotion for him still hasn't worn off at all. this attitude still fits on bookcanon!elias i think!

[oceanna1919]

JJ Maybank fanfiction

♤Reina Lopez was a Kook, but everybody calls her the pogue Queen, as she was always hanging out with the pogues. She is Kara's, John B's, Pope's and JJ's best friend,but JJ's don't see her only as his best friend,it was love at first sight for him, although he still doesn't admit it to himself. As the 5 best friends go on a treasure hunt, will love blossom?🌸♤

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Pilot 1.0

The Outer Banks, Paradise on Earth.

It's the sort of place where you either have two jobs or two houses.

Two tribes, one island.

There is Figure Eight, the rich side of the island.

Home of the Kooks.

And then, this is the south side or the cut.

Home of the working class who make a living busing tables, washing yachts, running charters.

The natural habitat of... drumroll, please...

...the Pogues.

Lowest member of the food chain. Okay. So, the downside of Pogue life is we're ignored and neglected.

There is me, a Kook that is hanging out with the pogues. My mom married my stepfather 3 years ago, so we moved here with him. I never fitted in with the Kooks and then I met my 4 best friends, they are Pogues and they are the best thing that ever happen to me. And this is our story...

As I was putting on makeup for the day,my phone started ringing. I pick up the phone and I smile when I saw the name pop up.

" Hello bestie!" I said with enthusiasm 

"Hello Queen, where are you?" Kiara asked me. 

Everybody in our group calls me Queen,as my name means 'queen' in Portuguese. Kiara is my girl best friend, I love her as a sister. At the beginning, she didn't like me as she thought I was like the other Kooks,when I first came in Outer Banks. When she saw we had the same view concerning the Kooks and the Pogues,she warmed up to me and now we are inseparable. 

"Home,I'm getting ready. My mom told me like, 5 minutes ago, that we have guests and I must be present,or whatever that means" I said with an eye roll. 

I hope it's not the Camerons,cause I will just grab my bag and leave. My mom and step-dad are really good friends with Ward and Rose Cameron and they don't like my friends,at all,cause we're not on the same 'level', whatever that means. They try to match me with Rafe and that definitely is never going to happen. Every time I see that guy,he gets on my nerves. I'm not going to lie,he's handsome,but his personality is horrible. My parents even try to match me with Topper, Rafe's best friend. We went on one date and after that I never heard from him again. Thank God,it was horrible,he was so full of himself,I couldn't stand him. Sarah Cameron,well she's an okay girl, I really don't really know her. But Kiara hates her guts,so I don't really care about her. 

"What? You're not coming? Don't leave with me the boys please" Kiara asked me letting out an sigh

 "JJ ,no stop JJ!" I heard Kiara yell.

 " Hello beautiful, get ready,we're coming to get you." JJ said and I could hear him smiling. I guess JJ took the phone from Kie 

"Okay,fine! When are you gonna be here?" I asked,as I walked on my in closet to choose what to wear. 

"Um in 15 minutes,or so. We got to stop at the Wreck. I need my juice you know." He replied and I let out a laugh. 

"Alright. I will try to sneak out,my parents are going to kill me you know that right?" I exclaimed with a sigh. 

I always ditch gatherings,events,parties to be with my friends and my parents always scold me afterwards. Their image are very important to them,not so much to me though 

" Princess,your knight will protect you." JJ replied making me laugh. 

"Honey,come on they're here!" I heard my mom yelling from downtown,before I had the time to reply 

" JJ, be here in 30 minutes, I gotta go,see you later alligator!" I said as I picked my outfit for the day 

" Copy that, Reina!" We hung up. 

I took my undergarments off and I put my bikini on. As I was putting my dress on I heard a knock on my door. 

"Mom,wait a minute!" I yelled 

" I'm not your mom." The person replied making me hurry up and put my dress on. Of course it was Rafe Cameron. As I finished tying the straps of my dress, Rafe came in my room uninvited.

 " What are you doing here,Rafe?" I said crossing my arms,making him look at my breasts. His look made me uncomfortable,I drop my arms. 

"Hello Reina, beautiful as always, how is my favorite girl doing today? Are you ready for our date?" He said with a smirk.  Did he just said a date,maybe I didn't hear me correctly. 

" Um, did you ask me on a date and I said yes? I don't remember that!" I frowned and he let out a small chuckled. 

" No,but I ask your mom and she said you are available today." I can't believe what I'm hearing right now,I'm gonna have a serious talk with my mom. 

" Alright. Can you give me 5 more minutes and I'll be ready for our date." I faked a smile and Rafe let out a victorious smirk. 

" Of course, Reina. I'll be waiting downstairs" He winked at me and closed the door. As the door closed,my smile fell. I quickly put my my bag over my shoulder and picked my phone. Carefully,trying not to make too noise, I opened my veranda door and I climbed down. As I walking away from my home,I called Pope. 

"Heyy Reina" he greeted me.

"Pope,change of plan.Don't come to pick me up. Send me the address, I will join you guys in a bit" I said quickly,starting to walk faster. 

"Done. See you in a bit" I hang up after our goodbye. I checked my phone and it's a 15 minute walk,not that bad.

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"Look who's here,my Queen!" John B,my best friend yelled, as he was balancing on the ledge of the roof of a house which was currently being remodeled,while drinking his beer. This made Pope and JJ to look at me as I came and stand beside Pope. Pope send me a small smile and JJ looked at me with a big smile. 

" Hey my King!" I yelled with the same enthusiasm. Everyone who doesn't know us will think that John B and I are a couple,but I never saw him as more than my best friend, same thing for him. I just think that John B and I have the most chemistry in our group,not romantic chemistry of course. 

"Would you like to climb on our kingdom with me?"John B asked me sarcastically as he extended his hand,referring to the roof as our 'kingdom'. I looked at my right, to my blonde best friend as he looked annoyed,starring at his beer,talking to himself under his breath, sitting on a wooden panel that has been expended high off the floor. I looked to my left at Pope with a questionable look,pointing to JJ discreetly and he just shook his head. Alright,I will let it slide. 

" No,I'm good down here! That's what, a three story fall to the deck." I said looking at JJ at the end, who was already looking back at me. 

Actually JJ was the first one I met and he introduced me to the others. In my opinion JJ is the most handsome of our group. The truth is that the last couple of weeks,I started to see JJ with different eyes. I started to have a crush on my best friend and I don't think that's a good thing,as JJ and I are the opposites. For example he drinks and smokes,he loves to party and he's a flirt,also he has a lot of experience in bed. He makes impulsive decisions with big outbursts ,I don't think that I'm his type overall.Me, on the other hand, I don't drink, I don't smoke,I don't like to party and none experience  in the bed department. I think before I speak and I keep my calm.

"I give you about a one-in-three chance of survival." I continued jokingly.

''Same here!''Pope agreed with me and I send him a wink. Pope was like my brother. He was the brain of our group and the logical one. He gives the best advice and I love our long conversions about complex discussions.

John B decided to ignore us, as he put his index in his mouth before pulling it back out, holding it in the air. JJ,Pope and I looked at him with confused eyes.

''Should I jump? Should I do it?'' John B asked us. I hope he was joking

''Yeah do it. I'll shoot you on the way down.'' Pope replied, pointing a drill he was holding at him. I shook my head with a small chuckle. I swear, my friends are idiots.

''They're gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers.''Kiara complained, coming in view. When she saw me, she came to me and gave me a quick hug.

''Of course, why wouldn't they?'' JJ and I said at the same time with sarcasm, making us look at each other smiling.

''JJ and I can't have cold towels''I said, making the group let a laugh.

''This used to be a turtle habitat, but who cares about the turtles''Kie started,but she stopped as she looked up at John B. ''Can you please not kill yourself?''

''Don't spill that beer. I'm not giving you another one.''When JJ just warned him, John B lost balanced and his can fell. I couldn't hold it and let out a small laugh.

''Of course you did. Smooth.'' JJ scolded him, continuing to sip his own can of beer.

'' Hey um, Reina, who was your guest?'' JJ asked me with a nervous laugh at the end and i involuntary rolled my eyes, thinking about Rafe.

'' Actually, I was on a date-'' I started and I stopped mid sentence as JJ started chocking, Everybody looked at him worriedly including me, except John B who had a smirk on his face.

'' What? You went on a date? With who?'' JJ started the interrogation, his jaw clenching non stop. I frown.

'' You go girl!'' Kie exclaimed, smirking at JJ and I shook my head

'' No,no,no. Let me finish. My mom set me on a date with Rafe and I had no idea.I, of course, ditch him to be with you guys.'' I mostly looked at JJ as he was acting all angry. He looked me deep in the eyes to see if I'm lying, I guess he didn't find a sign of a lie and he slowly nodded his head with a sour face.

''Come on JJ. You know how I feel about Rafe. I can't stand him'' I said and I don't understand what his problem is. Our friends looked back and forth with a knowing look.

''Yeah ,but he doesn't feel the same thing. Why can't he just leave you the fuck alone?'' he said angrily as he finished his beer with a slurp. My frown deepen, as i went to reply we heard a loud noise

''Let's wrap it up. Boys are early today.'' Pope warned us, meaning the guards are here.

'' Okay love birds, come on!'' Kie said nagging me.

''Humpty Dumpty, let's roll! Come on Reina!'' JJ exclaimed climbing down the ladder. I guess he's less angry.The blond run and took my hand, together we started running. JJ had to let go of my hand as we were running down the stairs, the others following behind us. JJ almost slip making me laugh.

''Gary, is that you?'' I teased as we came off the stairs and saw our 'favorite guard'.

''Gary, good to see you, man!'' JJ also teased. Suddenly a guard came out of nowhere and I almost fell on him,but JJ took a hold of my waist and pushed me in the other direction.

''She's not much of a hugger man!'' JJ shouted making me giggle.

''JJ, you're my knight in shining armor'' I yelled hapily.

''Of course my Queen'' He responded, glaring slightly at John B. The brown haired boy just shook his head with a smile. John B  sped up arriving first with Kie and they hoped the fence we used to enter. JJ and I arrived after them. JJ helped me ato hope the fence by puting his hands on my butt and give me a boost.

'' JJ!'' I yelled at him with widen eyes and he laughed.

''Couldn't resist!'' he replied and I just shook my head at him. Beside me, Pope fell and at the same time JJ hoped the fence without even putting effort.I starred at him admiring him. I only averted my eyes as I heard Pope groaned. I helped him up asking him if he was alright and he nodded. JJ took my hand and together we run and the three of us jumped in the van. I landed on JJ's lap, making me blush as crazy. Unfortunately JJ took notice and he smirk at me. JJ and Pope started teasing Gary and I think he had enough. I softly slapped JJ on his arm and he looked at me , his eyes shinning. He sure was handsome. I quickly shook my head at my thoughts, I stand up and sat between him and Kie, making him look at me with a fake sad face.

''I was comfortable'' he whined and I just stick my tongue out to him,making him put his finger on my tongue. I slapped his hand away disgusted  and we laughed.

''YEW JJ''

I love my friends!

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''Damn girl ,you're smoking hot. This new bikini is my favorite!'' Kie yelled as I was taking off my dress making me jump. John B, Pope and Kie were currently in the water as JJ and I were on the boat. I was texting my mom who was furious at me fir ditching Rafe.JJ I have no idea why he was still on the boat.

''Holy fuck'' JJ accidentally whispered not taking his eyes off me, although I still heard him.. I cleared my throat blushing. I happen to do that a lot recently in his presence.

''Have you heard about the hurricane? It's tomorrow.'' I casually said and he came to sat beside me, he offered me a can of beer, which I kindly declined.

''It doesn't stress me out'' he replied taking sips of his beer.

''Honestly, I'm shitting on my pants. I hate them. I grew in New York remember.'' I confessed and I started rubbing my hands together. A habit when I'm stressed. JJ put his beer down beside him and he took my hands in his warm ones,making me gaze at him.

'' Nothing's going to happen to you, alright? I'm here for you. Tomorrow I'm staying at John B's house, you should stay if you want to.We will be in this together.''he reassured me,making me look deep in his eyes. I nodded my head and he smiled.

''JJ,you know I will never betray you guys.'' I honestly said and he looked at me confused, still holding my hands

''What are you talking about?'' he asked

''I know you got angry this morning because you think I will leave you guys to be with Rafe, with the Kooks. That will never happen.'' As I mentioned Rafe name, JJ's jaw clenched and his eyes darkened a bit. 

''Don't  worry about it. I know. I'm sorry. I just don't like other guys loo-'' he didn't get to finish as cold water splashed on us. I yelped and JJ let go off my hands. We looked on our right and we saw John B and Pope with a smirk on their faces.

''Oh you're on!''. I yelled and I jumped into the water with JJ. We started splashing water around and it ended in water fight, which JJ and I won!

⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳

I hope you liked the first part you can also follow me on wattpad surname minika17

[titanicfreija]

What Happened

"So Sunny really died?"

"You're going to force this, aren't you?"

"You are visibly not healthy, so yes."

"She's right here, ask her."

"No."

"I don't want to!"

"I know."

"Please don't do this. I'll go home."

Thomas waited.

"You…you were there. You know how we fought it. We had to channel through our Ghosts. Do it backwards. Only Sunny, after we…. The Witness really fucked us up and she was… broken. Just. Her Light was leaking from cracks, like wet glue trying to hold the pieces together. And then she. Told me to do it anyway. And I did."

She held firm this time, fighting the tears down. 

"And she was ready. I know she was. She knew, she was ready. She told me to stand strong. And not to stop, even when she screamed." Freija lost her breath, and she choked for several seconds before she got it back. "So when it fell, she was…" now her face twisted and she screamed into her hands to vent, turning back to them with blood flooding her cheeks but voice stable. "She was dying. The kind of dying where you consider putting them down because there's no help here! We know the fucking difference! The shaking wasn't even trembling anymore, it was just twitching death throes! She couldn't speak!" She stopped walking and sobbed twice before she forced it to stop. "And I'm so fucking stupid because I told her she could rest before I told her I loved her!"

Thomas looked at Sunny, who had drifted low at Freija's right shoulder, glancing at him as she watched Freija cry. 

"I didn't notice," Sunny said. "I didn't get to say I love you, either. We had been saying it every two minutes for three days, though. I don't think we forgot."

Freija fought a sob down. "And I got her back, so I'm supposed to be okay but I'm having fucking nightmares and I can't go back to work because that's not helping and I don't know how to relax and– I hate this!"

"That's part of why we're here," Thomas assured her. "Emotional roller coaster needs riding out."

"What is a roller coaster? It sounds like it has wheels and that's all I've got."

"Basically, it was a sort of ride where someone sat on a cart of some kind and rode it up a steep hill, then rolled down the other side, coasting under their own weight, with several motions known to cause physical sensations like that falling feeling in your gut or taking a high speed turn. You'd like the idea, but being Risen probably messes with the fun to be had. But the point is the whole, steep rise, fast fall, getting flung around at high speeds. Emotional roller coaster is a way to say a lot of conflicting feelings happened one right after the other without giving you a chance to recover between. You were scared, battle-ready, then despondent and hurt, then relieved and overjoyed in maybe five minutes. Not even just sad, this was Sunny that died, that's huge. You got her back. That's even bigger because you were less ready for that."

Freija listened and compared, annoyed that it would be so simple and still bothering her like this. "This is stupid," she growled. "Fuck, why am I like this."

"I think this time I am going to blame the Titan. You guys are kinda intense."

Freija grunted at him. 

"What was it like to die?"

Why Rex asked where they could hear it was beyond Sunny, but she didn't think Freija would mind hearing. "It really wasn't that bad. It did hurt leading up, but then it got kinda warm and fuzzy. All I could hear was her voice and she told me I could rest. Which… I really thought about trying. But… it… it sounded nice. Like a bath after work, dying after using our power like that. I'm sorry, Freija."

"I know how it feels," she replied bitterly. "It's a relief. I told you you could rest. I knew you were waiting for permission. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. Making you hang on like that would have been futile and cruel. You were done, and it was time to go."

"You sound like you made peace with that," Thomas observed. "Or at least that was the thing you were ready to face."

"Those cracks I told you about were days old. The Witness tried to rip us apart. It almost succeeded. I spent days coming to that one and staying with it. We couldn't even talk because it was the only thing I could think. And she said she was ready and she meant it with every mote of Light. So I did what I had to do and I killed my fucking Ghost, which, no. I wasn't ready for that. I got fucked up about it for trying and now I actually succeeded."

"I told you to. You didn't want to. You even tried to stop and I had to yell at you," grumped Sunny. "I felt it, I was so mad, I would have cussed you if I could. You hesitated."

Freija didn't look at Sunny, but she glanced at Thomas to see him watching her. She was ashamed.

"Yes. I did. You're my Ghost. You were dying. You were in pain. You screamed. And I knew I could offer you relief at the cost of the universe, and you would never forgive me. The rest of time might have been two minutes long and I would have been sorry for all of it and everyone would pay the price. And I still needed you to yell at me to hold strong because I wanted to make it stop for you. But you said it. And you meant it with every mote of Light. But that doesn't mean I didn't do it. And it doesn't make your death any less traumatic. I'm proud of you. I'm so fucking proud of you. And I'm fucked up over it. Cayde didn't undo it, he repaired it.

"So what's this about Cayde-6? He came back?"

"Sort of. Crow wished him into being in the Traveler. He gave his Light to Sunny's shell and helped her back into it, she said."

"It felt like a dream," Sunny said. "I was… I wasn't lost, but I did miss Freija and I didn't know where I was. I didn't really care that I didn't know where I was, but I cared that I couldn't find her. But then I heard him calling for me, like pulling the string that bonded us or something. I don't know. I felt him, and I felt him close. And then he was there, and he said he was done and it would be better that I lived. He said he wanted to do the right thing, and helping me stay with my Guardian was the right thing."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. We're made of Light, and so was he. So he… More or less, I guess, he let that shape go and he dispersed and he let his Light come to my shell so I could animate it again with my consciousness, and as soon as I got settled, his consciousness tapered off and he left. He swapped places with me, kinda. He animated my shell the same way as I heal Freija, and then he let my consciousness back in like I put Freija's back in, and… It was… it kind of… It was fuzzy, waking up, and I was in Freija's hands, and she was there. I know it was relief after losing me, but the joy in her eyes was immeasurable."

"I'm glad," Thomas said. "I'm… honestly, from what I know of the guy, Cayde wasn't bad, but he didn't do good things. Infamous, as they said. But he had a lot of good people who had faith in him, so I think he was good. Amanda doesn't– didn't make friends with bad people. She had an eye for the lost, I think. So I believe it."

"You don't," laughed Freija. "I can hear it."

"I'm justifying it now," he agreed. "But it's not hard."

[sourcandycigs]

Dear Andy

So firstly hi. I know you'll never see this so I can be completely honest and just let everything out onto the table.

When you first told me you had had feelings for me when we were in first year in the SU bar my heart lit up. I honestly had never thought of you that way, maybe a bit but I didn't pursue it because you were always so cold and didn't show any interest in girls or anything like that. I had no idea. I was so unhappy in my relationship I wanted an escape and I suppose that was you because you made me so happy when I was so miserable.

You weren't always the best friend but you were MY best friend, we always had a laugh and I treasured those memories on our course together. And I will forever. When we started hooking up I loved it so much, but it hurt a lot that you were so okay using me after everything we'd been through. Also I guess I kinda hoped you'd feel how much I loved you and start to let your guard down a bit and be open to letting your feelings out for once.

But you've decided to run away. Back to your mum, and your family. And leave us all behind without even a goodbye. To say it's broken my heart would be a huge understatement. I've had to deal with levels of depression and feelings I've never had to deal with because of you and I find it even more ironic because these were the problems you always had, now you've caused me to be suicidal aswell so thanks?

I understood that you didn't want a relationship and I said I'd rather just be friends to save the friendship that you claimed you "treasured" so I thought we were all good? But you lied, to my face. The person you did your entire course with and who kept your razor blades safe for you because you were scared you would do something bad. You lied to my face infront of my family at our university graduation and said you still wanted to stay friends and carry on our radio show together.

I now do our old radio show alone, did you even know that? I go alone every Saturday now and sit there alone in the studio we made our own. I do the walk we always did together back to our old house alone. I can't walk through this city now without seeing our memories everywhere. We don't all just get to walk away and have our parents deal with the consequences. I don't get to just go home back to a place with no memories and forget 3 years of my life. We always supported you, forgave you when you acted like a cunt. We all loved you anyway. And you betray all of us? Run away?

I still hold out the hope that one day you'll reach back out because weirdly enough, although I hate your guts and wish you nothing but pain and suffering for what you've put me through I still miss my best friend. Did it even effect you to walk away like you did? Do even miss me or our friends? Or are you the cold heartless monster you've painted yourself to be in my head?

I miss you every minute of every day, but have cried over you so much I've got no tears left. I hope that one day we can become friends again but I don't really know. You're a cold, messed up person who is babied by his mum too much. You'll end up 45 living at home because you can't seem to deal with living away. Why did you even come to university? You wanted to be a musician, yet you aren't pursueing it last I heard? What a waste of time and talent.

I needed you over these past few months, as a friend. To support me through really hard times (like I always did for you) and you weren't here and I'm not sure I can ever forgive you for that.

Karma is a bitch, and you can't treat people this way. You're going to be alone for a very long time and never really understand love or know how to do it because you push everyone away.

Good luck. I still love you and miss you, but hate you for what you've done to me.