#i have 3 chapters i can call done but they're out of order so i'll refrain for now

[sol-flo]

it's not good enough yet but i'm tempted to post a chunk of the tnk analysis as a weekend treat to myself

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova's Notes - North and South - Chapter 3

Last time we saw our heroine Margaret, she had just received word that Henry Lennox had come to call on her. Let's see how it goes!

So, she is excited to see Henry, as she has just been thinking about him and his promise. Margaret is a little surprised though, since he's supposed to be off with Edith and his brother on their honeymoon.

*record scratch* Hold up, he was accompanying them on their honeymoon??? I know right! And not just him, but his uncle as well? What kind of monster is he?

Well, five seconds ago, I would've agreed with you, but I was able to find this article that points to this being a fairly common practice in order to ease the woman into the marriage (not exactly an academic source, but the first one I found). So, he's not intruding or third-wheeling, but instead helping grow the marriage. What a nice guy, right? Well...avid readers of this will know I'm not Henry's biggest fan, and in the first few sentences he -- again -- says something that raises my hackles a bit.

“'Oh!' said he, more lightly, 'our young couple were playing such foolish pranks, running all sorts of risks, climbing this mountain, sailing on that lake, that I really thought they needed a Mentor to take care of them. And indeed they did: they were quite beyond my uncle’s management, and kept the old gentleman in a panic for sixteen hours out of the twenty-four. Indeed, when I once saw how unfit they were to be trusted alone, I thought it my duty not to leave them till I had seen them safely embarked at Plymouth.'”

Oh no, our couple has done the horrible problem of -- *checks notes* -- having fun on their honeymoon...? If their version of a "prank" is ditching their relatives to get some alone time -- uh, yeah, I would too!!! I mean, I guess I can see where he's coming from on some of these points if they truly are taking dangerous risks, but it honestly sounds like they're trying to sneak in some alone time here and doing fun couple activities together. It's not good that the uncle is panicking, but his brother is in the army. Surely he's prepared for things like mountain climbing and saying they're "unfit to be alone" is quite ridiculous. If he's worried about them doing...other kinds of activities while alone...I hate to tell him, but they're already married so that ship has sailed (literally). If he's truly worried about "danger," how is he -- a lawyer -- more prepared to face it than his brother who's in the army? (Not that lawyers can't face danger, considering Jonathan from Dracula is a lawyer and he just climbed a castle wall not too long ago, but that's a different book/genre lol). Also presenting himself as a "Mentor" (capital M) is HILARIOUS to me considering a) he's younger than at least one of them and b) mentor to what? Being married??? Henry???? He probably means climbing or sailing, but my version is funnier -- just saying.

I guess he might also be kidding about some of this, which is something I should have considered but didn't because I don't pick up well on social cues (I'm like Margaret in that way: we'll get there :D). So if he is kidding, sorry about that, but if I'm to take what he's saying at face value here, he just sounds like a nuisance to the couple. He says he's now "relieved of many responsibilities" but it just sounds like he put those responsibilities on himself.

He then gives her a note from Edith and she doesn't want to read it in front of him because she "half wish[ed] to read it alone and unwatched". I find this interesting that she has to make up an excuse to get away from him here, just to do so! Is it because Margaret doesn't feel comfortable reading letters in front of people in general, or because Henry specifically causes the discomfort? Gaskell doesn't elaborate, but I'll keep an eye out for if she feels comfortable enough to read a letter in front of anyone else in a future chapter, because either could be valid.

Henry begins to look around the room in "his scrutinizing way" and notices how "poor" the place looks, even when the light is hitting it, which should make it looks its best. Then he says this (with a sigh):

"'The living is evidently as small as she said. It seems strange, for the Beresfords belong to a good family.'”

Oh, no! You've just activated a red flag!!! This whole reply is a red flag, but I want to highlight the main problem area (in my opinion) -- the "as she said". What's the problem with this?

To me, this indicates he didn't listen to her when she told him how small her living was the first time around. He assumed she was downplaying it and would come back to find something more like Harley Street. I suppose that was the fashion back then -- to act of more humble means than you were -- but here's the thing: Margaret isn't like that. She says thing as they are and if he knew her as well as he thinks, he would've taken her words at face value. I know that just from three chapters of reading about her!! If he doesn't believe this one thing she says now, how is that going to work later if they foster a relationship (again, we're getting there)? I also just don't like that Henry is pulling a surprised Pikachu face here!!! And while I know good family = wealthy in this time period, still not a great thing to say. Like, hmm her family is poor that's weird :/. He's acting like he didn't get what he wanted for Christmas or something. Definitely not the reaction I would want from a potential partner.

Margaret, meanwhile, is dealing with a problemTM. Namely, her mother. Apparently she gets into moods where everything is an Issue and Henry is considered an Issue -- so, she refuses to see him. This is a dilemma, because Margaret had told Henry that her mamma would LOVE to meet him and will meet with him shortly. I may not know much about etiquette, but I know this is a snub if she refuses to meet with him now. Plus, her dad can't help because he was already in a bad mood (seems like something we'll unravel later) and Mrs. Hale made it worse by commenting *once again* on moving, which caused him to ask her to please stop speaking against the place. So yeah, this isn't going well!

Margaret "listen[s] patiently", but she has to figure things out somehow, so she pulls a problem-solving move. She proposes that after a quick meetup with Henry and her mom (as for it not to look weird), she and Henry can go out sketching, which will mean less interaction for her mother to worry about. Then, even though they only have cold meat for lunch, they can still make that work for the meal, since light food was usually expected at the midday meal (from what I could find -- correct me if I'm wrong) and Henry will expect it that way. That's when Mr. Hale will join them, having had enough time between 10:30 and 2:00 to compose himself.

I love seeing this side of her! We've already seen glimpses, but I think it's the first time we've truly seen her go into what I would call a "problem-solving mode". I would definitely add that to her list of qualities!

"He evidently expected to be asked to spend the day, and accepted the invitation with a glad readiness that made Mrs. Hale wish she could add something to the cold beef. He was pleased with everything; delighted with Margaret’s idea of going out sketching together; would not have Mr. Hale disturbed for the world, with the prospect of so soon meeting him at dinner."

I wonder if it's apparent to everyone involved Henry wants to be asked to stay the whole day, or if it's just Mrs. Hale? It makes sense that he wants to since he said he would be checking up on what Margaret does all day. I don't know much about calling hours or social etiquette in the Victorian era, but from what I could find, he's making a "morning call". Usually a man in this situation should leave after 20 minutes. However, he's family, so I believe this allots for staying a few hours, including dinner (again, correct me if I'm wrong -- I tried to find sources for this, but there wasn't much available for a morning call from family). Does it seem interesting how eager it is how "pleased" he is by everything just after he thought about how poor the family is? Yep! But we don't have time to unpack all of that just yet.

"'Now, please, just stop here for a minute or two,' said Margaret. 'These are the cottages that haunted me so during the rainy fortnight, reproaching me for not having sketched them.' 'Before they tumbled down and were no more seen. Truly, if they are to be sketched—and they are very picturesque—we had better not put it off till next year. But where shall we sit?' 'Oh! You might have come straight from chambers in the Temple, instead of having been two months in the Highlands! Look at this beautiful trunk of a tree, which the woodcutters have left just in the right place for the light. I will put my plaid over it, and it will be a regular forest throne.' 'With your feet in that puddle for a regal footstool! Stay, I will move, and then you can come nearer this way. Who lives in these cottages?'”

I feel like this conversation parallels their awkward interaction from chapter one, though now the shoe is on the other foot. And by "shoe", I mean the whole "shutting down the conversation" thing. To be fair, this is probably Henry joking and being lighthearted, but again -- I'm having trouble reading it that way. She's trying to sketch two cottages that she thinks are pretty, but he's kind of mocking them for how decrepit they look. Fair, I guess, but the fact that she chooses to mock him by saying he's "come staight from chambers in the Temple" (which I believe is a reference to the Temple in Jerusalem and to me, signals she's mocking his loftiness) says she's not entirely happy with this either. Plus, yeah, he just spent time in the Highlands, shouldn't he be used to forest by now? And when she wants to make a "throne" out of a tree stump, he comments on the puddle on the ground. Chivalrous to ask her to get out of the way, but he's not playing along with her game of pretend like he seemed to want her to in chapter 1. I wonder what's up with that? Or maybe I'm reading this all wrong and they're both enjoying this banter -- I don't know, it's really hard for me to tell!! Keep in mind, I'm biased and don't really like Henry, so everything he says annoys me. It's a problem I'll try to work on 😂😂

She goes to talk to one of the men at the cottages, and Henry quickly takes his opportunity to add her to his sketch. Afterwards, she notices and comments on it. He replies:

“'It was irresistible. You can’t know how strong a temptation it was. I hardly dare tell you how much I shall like this sketch.' He was not quite sure whether she heard this latter sentence before she went to the brook to wash her palette. She came back rather flushed, but looking perfectly innocent and unconscious. He was glad of it, for the speech had slipped from him unawares—a rare thing in the case of a man who premeditated his actions so much as Henry Lennox."

I will admit, this is rather cute: him taking the opportunity to sketch her and then saying something without thought! It's a sweet moment and I think I would like the two of them together if they had more moments like this.

When they return back, both Mr. and Mrs. Hale are in much better spirits. Margaret sees her father and while she stresses that he's put aside his worries (they're not taken care of), she can't hide her pride at seeing him because he's always able to impress other people! What a sweetheart, love her for that.

Mr. Hale sees their sketches and when Mr. Hale sees the one Henry drew, Henry comments this:

“'I should say that a likeness you very much wish to take you would always succeed in,' said Mr. Lennox. 'I have great faith in the power of will. I think myself I have succeeded pretty well in yours.'”

I may not read social cues well, but this one I do get: I like you and want to draw you well. However, I know that because I've picked up on it after seeing Henry's inner thoughts. I'm not so surprised she doesn't get it because, as we'll see later in the chapter, she doesn't see him that way. So this compliment -- while nice -- wouldn't mean to her what he's trying to communicate. Why is this important for me to emphasize? Well, listen to what this guy says next:

“"A regular London girl would understand the implied meaning of that speech,' thought Mr. Lennox. 'She would be up to looking through every speech that a young man made her for the arrière-pensée of a compliment. But I don’t believe Margaret,'"

Lol, lmao even. HENRY, buddy, we've been over this -- you should know her better than this by now. I'm not trying to pull a "she's not like other girls" thing, but you started it. She doesn't have the same communication style as the "regular London girl[s]" you're thinking of! If you want to communicate something, you're going to have to be more blunt.

Also, if we continue with my thread of Margaret being neurodivergent-coded (and Henry being neurotypical-coded), this comment is something a lot of NTs often get frustrated by: that NDs don't pick up on the nuances of their interactions. This comment right here really cements this dynamic for me.

To me, it’s understandable she wouldn't pick up on this being flirting because it's subtle to begin with and ND people often have trouble picking up on social cues like this. I do find it interesting how he also expects her to be picking apart his speeches for compliments. Also "arrière-pensée" means "a concealed thought" or "ulterior motive", by the way!

Quick note: the quote is cut off deliberately like that for a reason, he doesn't finish his thought.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your view), he decides to try a different tactic. She has been gathering roses to "adorn her morning gown for dinner" and he takes this opportunity to help her with some she can't reach (relatable!) and puts a couple in his button-hole. While this isn't exactly a declaration of love, I do think this is another sweet moment. This could almost be a better show of affection than words for some.

Dinner is a very nice affair, with everyone talking very agreeably, enough so to make Henry forget his feeling of "disappointment" of Margaret's living being so small. Like she had told him. Ugh.

However, there comes a bit of a hitch when dessert comes around. Mr. Hale becomes fixated on the idea of dessert -- which must be pears from the garden. However, they already have dessert served behind him: biscuits with marmalade. Mrs. Hale worries that this pear idea will make their life seem "impromptu" and dessert "unusual" (which will not shine a good light on their living situation, I imagine).

Henry actually steps up with a solution this time: they should eat pears in the garden in order to give them the full experience. Though Mrs. Hale doesn't quite like this idea (she wants to end dinner the ceremonious way), Mr. Hale doesn't give her time to argue: he simply gets up. This shows me that Mr. Hale is probably still not in the best of moods, and likely put out with her as well for what she said in the morning. Either that, or he's so absorbed by his own worries that he isn't thinking of hers. Eep, not good.

So Mr. Hale, Henry and Margaret go out into the garden to enjoy some pears. While Mr. Hale grabs the ripest pear (to get over his anxieties -- relatable), Henry makes eyes at Margaret 👁️👁️. He then takes her to stroll while Mr. Hale sits on the garden bench. Oh no! What can this mean? Well, for Margaret, she just thinks this is a friendly chat. Hmm....

He immediately starts by idealizing her country life and scorning his "city life" (comparing himself to a Cockney), ending with insinuating he would want to live here as his "reward" for all of his hard lawyer work.

She replies by shutting down the fantasy (lol), that the beauty he sees isn't always there and besides, didn't he mock her village before and call it out of a tale? Once she makes it clear she saw it as disrespectful, he "warmly" states he'll never do it again.

I do like that she's comfortable enough with him to feel able to tell him she felt disrespected by his words: that's a good sign, at least. And while he doesn't exactly apologize, he does back down once he realizes this was genuinely negative to her. Gotta take our wins where we can!

""I could almost wish, Margaret——' he stopped and hesitated. It was so unusual for the fluent lawyer to hesitate that Margaret looked up at him, in a little state of questioning wonder; but in an instant—from what about him she could not tell—she wished herself back with her mother—her father—anywhere away from him, for she was sure he was going to say something to which she should not know what to reply. In another moment the strong pride that was in her came to conquer her sudden agitation, which she hoped he had not perceived. Of course she could answer, and answer the right thing; and it was poor and despicable of her to shrink from hearing any speech, as if she had not power to put an end to it with her high maidenly dignity."

I love this passage for so many reasons. For one thing, it has that relatable feeling one gets when you have that one guy friend who hits you with the "I have to tell you something..." and even when you don't know what they're going to say, you also know what's happening...

But I love that she has that scared moment and then she's like -- wait a minute? This is me -- Margaret Hale -- we're talking about and I will say what I want and it will be right because I make it so. I will not shrink from any speech coming my way and if I have to, will put an end to it with my high 👏 maidenly 👏 dignity 👏 . What an ABSOLUTE QUEEN FOR THAT!!!!! I aspire to be like her; why wasn't I told what an absolute girl boss of a role model this fictional character was? And I don't just mean like before I read this (I was given some notice), I mean like why isn't she given more love in pop culture just for this passage alone? (I could speculate why, but I don't want to get sad about that lol). If I didn't already love her, this right here would've made me love her. This passage is definitely something I will be remembering when I feel anxious about difficult conversations! Just, WOW, chef's kiss.

Forgive me, it's going to be a lot of passages from here on out, but I really want to analyze the exact wording here.

"'Margaret,' said he, taking her by surprise, and getting sudden possession of her hand, so that she was forced to stand still and listen, despising herself for the fluttering at her heart all the time; 'Margaret, I wish you did not like Helstone so much—did not seem so perfectly calm and happy here. I have been hoping for these three months past to find you regretting London—and London friends, a little—enough to make you listen more kindly' (for she was quietly, but firmly, striving to extricate her hand from his grasp) 'to one who has not much to offer, it is true—nothing but prospects in the future—but who does love you, Margaret, almost in spite of himself. Margaret, have I startled you too much? Speak!' For he saw her lips quivering almost as if she were going to cry."

Okaaaaaay, that escalated VERY quickly -- Margaret didn't even get time to put a stop to it!!! I can't blame her, he's not giving her the chance to speak. So, the fact that he grabs her hand so she's "forced to stand still and listen"? Yikes. Her heart is "fluttering" and she hates herself for it? Also yikes because I doubt it's fluttering from liking him. I could be wrong, but I'm like 99.9% sure her heart is like that out of nerves.

Not to mention his speech: Henry starts off by being upset she likes Helstone and seems happy there -- you know, the place where her parents are??? Her hometown???? The place he just yapped on and on about being the best place ever and seemed like a reward to him? What happened to that? Swift 180 turn to me. Oh, and let's not forget he doesn't like seeing her calm and happy -- uhhhh...ok?

Now I know what he's trying to say here: he doesn't like seeing her happy here in Helstone because he wants her to be so miserable that she'll want to come back to London (and be with him). If she's miserable, it'll show she cares for him. Here's the problems I have with that logic:

Who's to say she doesn't miss her friends and she's just hiding it? Some people are better at hiding their grief than others.

Margaret is a very "live in the present" type of person; it's not that she doesn't miss Harley Street, but tends to just kind of live in the moment. Him not realizing that -- or wanting her to be miserable despite knowing that -- shows that he probably doesn't know her or care for her as much as he says he does a couple of sentences later.

She hasn't lived with her parents for years and spent most of her childhood without them being a large part of her life (I'm assuming from the limited text we have). Why doesn't she have the right to be calm and happy while living with them? It's pretty understandable she would be more happy with them because if anything *they're* the ones she was probably "more miserable" without. I'm sure she was fine at Harley Street, but she really seems to love her parents and her first night at Harley Street as a child seemed difficult: I'm not surprised she's happy at Helstone! This guy has some audacity to be like "aren't you miserable without me though 🥺" when like -- SHE'S VISITING HER PARENTS???!!?!?! It's been three months, calm down dude.

Let's imagine a world where Henry's completely right (a world I'm glad we don't live in, personally) and she's totally miserable because -- oh, Henry's not at Helstone 🥺💔. Even so, when you visit your friends/crush/whatever that you've missed and you haven't seen for a while, do you act miserable and talk constantly about how much you miss them? I mean, I don't! I usually try to keep up appearances if I am sad, but I actually almost always brighten up around the person I'm with because they make my day better. I get excited and in my element; to the outside person, you'd never know I'd be totally upset when they left because that's how happy I am! Of course, I'd say I miss them or whatever, but I wouldn't make a scene like he seems to want her to.

Going off of that, if you truly cared for someone, wouldn't you want them to be happy? Like he tells her he loves her but starts off his whole speech before he gets to that point with "I wish you were less happy and more miserable because that means you'd miss me and give me a chance" and that's...I don't even know what to say to that. I didn't think you could get worse than Mr. Collins or Mr. Darcy's failed proposals, but I think that beats it. In Mr. Collins's case, at least he starts off with compliments (though they're backhanded and he doesn't really mean them, lol) and at least with Mr. Darcy, he starts off with "I love you" and lists the reasons before he starts insulting her family!!! I guess it's a "pick your poison" thing, but seriously, what a way to start off a love confession speech/proposal.

Then -- and this is what really gets me here -- he notices her trying to get him to release her arm: another sign she's not enjoying this. Now, she's doing this in a quiet but firm way, not wanting to make a scene -- but not backing down, either. Instead of doing the decent person thing and letting her hand go, he keeps his grip and tells her to listen more "kindly". He takes this as yet another sign she didn't "miss him enough" and WOW. Um...I don't have much to say to this; I think it speaks for itself. I will say, everytime I read it I'm filled with an immeasurable amount of rage, if that tells you anything.

He also ends his very touching and heartfelt speech (/s) with saying that he loves her "almost in spite of himself". Aaaaand we're back to Mr. Darcy with his whole "yeah your family is below me and an insult to the human race and I actually wish I could stop thinking about you but in spite of all of that I love you whoops". I think he means this in more of a "I'm not a feelings person, so for me to be in love with you is a big deal" (we'll get to that speech of his soon), but it still comes across wrong to me. If you're going to say that, please clarify what you mean!!!

And THEN -- as if that's not bad enough -- he sees her lips quivering as if she's going to cry and after asking if she's startled (not the emotion I'd be asking after, but ok), he commands her to speak. As someone who gets overwhelmed easily, I would actually hate someone doing that to me!

And if we continue the thread of Margaret being ND, what if she's not able to speak because she's too overstimulated from whatever the heck that just was? I know she just hyped herself up -- and that's amazing, don't get me wrong -- but it could very well be difficult for her to communicate using spoken language and the fact that he wants her to speak right now is a bit reminiscent of how NTs will often force NDs to "act neurotypical" in difficult situations (e.g. "make eye contact, speak on this" etc.) and it's heartbreaking to read using this lens.

Even if we don't read it in that vein, who sees someone about to cry and goes "Speak!"? Get a grip, man.

"She made a strong effort to be calm; she would not speak till she had succeeded in mastering her voice, and then she said: 'I was startled. I did not know that you cared for me in that way. I have always thought of you as a friend; and, please, I would rather go on thinking of you so. I don’t like to be spoken to as you have been doing. I cannot answer you as you want me to do, and yet I should feel so sorry if I vexed you.'”

I feel for her here: I’m glad she takes a moment to be calm, but I imagine it must cost a lot of emotional effort to do so. If I were in her shoes, I don’t even know if I could manage it!

Also, her speech itself is a masteclass in kind — but firm — rejection, in my opinion. Notice how she answers his last question first: that yes, she was startled. That is easiest to answer, so she focuses on it. Then, she expounds on it by letting him know she wasn’t aware of his deep feelings, which caused her to be startled.

That’s when the boundary-setting starts! She sets two of them: in order to “keep thinking of him as a friend”, he will need to discontinue his advances and then she states she doesn’t like the way he has been speaking to her — aka, all of the ways he just offended her in that last paragraph? Stop it immediately.

She ends it by affirming that she cannot give him the answers he desires, but does not want to “vex” him. Just to be sure I was reading her meaning correctly, I looked up the meaning of vexed:

“to bring trouble, distress, or agitation to”

So, she’s worried about troubling him. Yes, distress is in there too, but I think it’s interesting she uses that word to describe how he will take her not returning his feelings. Historically, women do have to worry about how men will react to them not returning feelings -- sometimes to an extreme degree -- and it can feel as if it’s more of a case of them being troubled/agitated rather than distressed. I can’t speak for everyone of course, but it sucks that women have to feel so responsible for men’s happiness to the point of saying “sorry for the trouble” if the feelings aren’t returned! (And yes, I know this issue can happen regardless of gender, but I’m focusing on this dynamic since that’s how it appears here.)

So, how does Henry react? Does he reassure her that he isn’t entitled to her feelings? Asks for space to deal with his own emotions, perhaps? Nope!

“‘Margaret,’ said he, looking into her eyes, which met his with their open, straight look, expressive of the utmost good faith and reluctance to give pain, ‘Do you’—he was going to say—‘love any one else?’ But it seemed as if this question would be an insult to the pure serenity of those eyes. ‘Forgive me! I have been too abrupt. I am punished. Only let me hope. Give me the poor comfort of telling me you have never seen any one whom you could——‘ Again a pause. He could not end his sentence. Margaret reproached herself acutely as the cause of his distress.’”

It’s interesting to me that Henry decides not to ask if she loves anyone else because he doesn’t want to insult “pure serenity” of her eyes. Some may call this nice, I call this asking for a punch in the face. It rides a bit too close to the “purity culture” line for me and I don’t like it. It seems as if Henry thinks she has too much good faith to ever be “unfaithful” to him by even entertaining the thought of someone else. Perhaps I’m wrong, but this is how it reads to me.

Then he asks for forgiveness and says he’s been too abrupt (ok, good start) but says he’s punished. Punished how? Punished for what? If you mean she’s punishing you for speaking to her a certain way by not returning feelings — just NO. That’s not what’s happening here!!!! She doesn’t return your feelings because she doesn’t like you, just accept it.

That’s when Henry really drops the hammer of “can you give me hope and return my feelings one day 🥺” which — oh, boy. On one hand, I can feel for him here, but it’s strange to me that he also wants her to promise that she’s never seen anyone that has caught her fancy. It’s a very “if I can’t have you, no one can” mentality. It even causes Margaret to get mad at herself for “causing” him to be so upset — which, again, he is not entitled to her feelings and she is not responsible for his happiness.

“‘Ah! if you had but never got this fancy into your head! It was such a pleasure to think of you as a friend.’

‘But I may hope, may I not, Margaret, that some time you will think of me as a lover? Not yet, I see—there is no hurry—but some time——‘

She was silent for a minute or two, trying to discover the truth as it was in her own heart, before replying, then she said:

‘I have never thought of—you, but as a friend. I like to think of you so; but I am sure I could never think of you as anything else. Pray let us both forget that all this” (“disagreeable,” she was going to say, but stopped short) ‘conversation has taken place.’”

Ok, so I’m going to take Henry’s side for just a second on this — hear me out. I think it’s a little mean for her to call his feelings just a “fancy” as if he thought of it one day and, on a lark, decided to confess his feelings. I don’t think that’s fair of her to say to him. You can’t help your feelings and it’s not entirely fair of her to expect him to keep it bottled up inside. While his confession speech has been pretty abysmal (sorry it’s true), I don’t blame him for having those feelings, just the way they’re expressed.

On the other hand, I’ve been in Margaret's exact same situation and have almost wanted to say the exact same thing! Like “we had such a good thing going and this came out of nowhere; what’s up with that?” I didn’t though, because I realize that’s kind of invalidating to hear. I also think that’s her being blunt and not filtering her thoughts, which is understandable given the heightened emotions (and even more so, if we read it in the lens of her being ND).

Henry insists on the point of her being able to love him romantically sometime in the future, to which she has to think about. I’m glad she actually takes the time to examine her own feelings before answering. She already knows the answer, but it’s good to be sure and honestly give it some thought.

That’s when she drops a hammer of her own: she has only thought of him as a friend, does so now, and is certain she can only do so in the future. She also wants to set this conversation behind them — almost calling it disagreeable in the process. She stops herself short, but I believe she makes a face or something in her demeanor registers it as such, because Henry picks up on it. Again, she’s being blunt, but this time she’s able to catch herself and spare his feelings a little.

“He paused before he replied. Then, in his habitual coldness of tone, he answered:

‘Of course, as your feelings are so decided, and as this conversation has been so evidently unpleasant to you, it had better not be remembered. That is all very fine in theory, that plan of forgetting whatever is painful, but it will be somewhat difficult for me, at least, to carry it into execution.’”

It’s telling that he becomes cold once he realizes she’s serious about staying friends forever. It’s sad that this 180 degree turn from Henry is still so relatable in today’s age! He does agree to her wishes, albeit reluctantly due to it being difficult for him. This I can understand; once you confess your feelings for someone and are subsequently rejected, it's a bit hard to just "forget" the entire conversation and go back to normal. Unfortunately, that's the consequence you have to face if you're going to confess to your friend like that; I think he was just so confident she'd return his feelings, he assumed this wouldn't happen.

“'You are vexed,' said she, sadly; “yet how can I help it?' She looked so truly grieved as she said this, that he struggled for a moment with his real disappointment, and then answered more cheerfully, but still with a little hardness in his tone: 'You should make allowances for the mortification, not only of a lover, Margaret, but of a man not given to romance in general—prudent, worldly, as some people call me—who has been carried out of his usual habits by the force of a passion—well, we will say no more of that; but in the one outlet which he has formed for the deeper and better feelings of his nature, he meets with rejection and repulse. I shall have to console myself with scorning my own folly. A struggling barrister to think of matrimony!'”

Her grief does cause him to realize that he needs to stop making her feel bad about this -- or, at least, broadcast a facade of good cheer -- if they're going to have any hope of keeping the friendship. After all, they're still in Helstone's garden with Margaret's dad not too far off!!!

However, he's not able to cover up his "disappointment" entirely and it shows as "hardness in his tone". He doesn't apologize for giving her grief, but instead asks her to make "allowances" for him. I don't like this for a lot of reasons (why does she have to make allowances for you when you don't seem to give the same respect back?), but what's even worse is that he says one of those allowances should be "for the mortification...of a lover..." UM??? If I’m reading this right, he wants her to allow for him feeling like he was her lover and now having to deal with her rejection of romance. Henry, let me break it down for you: you were never her lover -- ever. If you felt like her lover, that is your issue, not hers, to deal with. The fact that you're admitting that aloud is appalling and the fact you want her to allow for that problem is even worse. It’s almost like he kept up a pretense of friendship and all the while imagining they were lovers. That’s so weird!!! And again, remains relatable (unfortunately).

The other allowance, which I mentioned earlier, is that he’s not a big “feelings” person and since he got carried away by his passions, she should understand why he feels crushed that the one time he’s swept off his feet by romance, the feelings are not returned. I hate to tell you, Henry, but just because you’re more “worldly” than the rest of us doesn’t mean you’re going to get a girlfriend faster: just a pro tip!

Both of these allowances are quite silly, in my opinion. Yeah, so you have a crush for the first time and you thought of her as your girlfriend and the feelings weren’t mutual. What is she supposed to do, give you a cookie? I’m being facetious, of course, I know what he’s actually hoping is for her to change her mind and be like “I had no idea I was your first crush 🥺 wow, since I’m so special to you, of course I’ll court you!!! 😍❤️” which — ugh. I want to say he doesn’t understand how women work, but I’m hard-pressed to see how this would work on anyone!! Maybe in his head it would work on one of those “regular London girls” (which I’m beginning to think is just a made up notion in his head of women anyway), but I’ve said that Margaret is not one of those women (if they do exist) and never will be. The fact that he thinks he can make her be one or she will become one in time is concerning: what would he be like if they did court? Would she be expected to change for him? Or even if he does like her as is, would she be expected to “act differently” in front of his friends and other relatives? Again, reading this in a NT/ND lens really adds another layer of meaning to how this would affect Margaret’s mental health in the long term.

He ends this by saying he’ll have to “console himself by scorning his own folly” and scoffing at the idea of a struggling man in his job thinking of marriage. First of all, she has literally said nothing about your profession — you brought that up briefly before in your confession (I didn’t mention it because I didn’t have anything to say on it) — but she never said “I’m not going to court you because you’re a lawyer struggling to make ends meet”. Of course, you’re going to think that because it’s easier to think of her as shallow (only after men for their current money) and the “problem” as something you can fix (he can fix a money issue, can’t fix her thoughts of him being a friend), but really: how in denial can you be?

Secondly, this is the first time he’s brought up marriage. Of course, in the Victorian age that’s where courtships were supposed to lead, but still. It’s interesting that he waited until now to drop that last bit in; it almost seems like a last-ditch lament to be like “woe is me! How could I think anyone would ever marry me 🥺💔” which would pull at the heartstrings. Of course, I’m likely reading too much into this because I’m reading it in the tone of him doing anything to try to get her to court/marry him, even using manipulation and guilt tactics to do so. Is it likely he’s just upset and saying whatever comes to mind? Sure. But some people will do anything to get their way and so far he hasn’t shown himself to be very graceful in dealing with rejection.

“Margaret could not answer this. The whole tone of it annoyed her. It seemed to touch on and call out all the points of difference which had often repelled her in him; while yet he was the pleasantest man, the most sympathising friend, the person of all others who understood her best in Harley Street. She felt a tinge of contempt mingle itself with her pain at having refused him. Her beautiful lip curled in a slight disdain.”

I suppose I’m not the only one getting bad vibes from this last speech. Margaret sees the worst parts of him — the little things that had always bothered her about him — and while she still feels bad about hurting him, she can’t help but visibly show “disdain” for the way he’s talking to her now.

Suddenly, they come upon Mr. Hale and Margaret feels as if she's had an out-of-body experience, comparing it to an Eastern tale of a king who went through an experience of a lifetime just by dipping his head in a magical basin of water. In other words, she is not the same as she was when she last saw her father!

Of course, due to the amount of emotions with everything that has just taken place, she is quite unable to speak and lets Henry and her father do most of the talking. Henry notices her quiet and morose look and:

“"I am not so indifferent to her as she believes,' thought he to himself. 'I do not give up hope."”

Oh...oh no. Henry, literally just accept the no. She told you no -- JUST ACCEPT THE -- ok, I need to calm down. This man is fictional. The problem is there are men -- nay, people -- who think like this. Who will hear a "no" and then see the person's face and have such a cognitive dissonance IN THEIR BRAIN that they're like "nah, they actually totally want me, THEY just can't see the truth yet." As if they know better.

It's really hilarious Henry thinks he knows Margaret's thoughts and feelings better than *she* does considering he doesn't even know how to talk to her without her shutting him down because he accidentally disrespected her small town (rhyme not intended but a pleasant surprise). How does he think a relationship with a foundation like that? I realize they are good friends and get along in other ways, but it is sooooo telling to me that the *second* he flirts, she either becomes uncomfortable or straight up doesn't get it (or pretends not to, depending on how you read it). How could they be married like that??

So yeah, unfortunately, Margaret is not even allowed to look sad without Henry jumping on the chance that she'll want him someday. I'm almost 100% sure this would've happened regardless of the facial expression she had. Happy (from trying to keep up a cheerful facade)? "Oh, she's actually super happy I confessed my feelings and will love me soon, just watch." Mad? "She's actually mad at herself for refusing me." Confused? "She doesn't know what she wants, she'll choose me eventually." That's just the kind of person we're dealing with here.

"Before a quarter of an hour was over, he had fallen into a way of conversing with quiet sarcasm; speaking of life in London and life in the country, as if he were conscious of his second mocking self, and afraid of his own satire."

Ok, so this passage is really hard to decipher for me and I might need some help figuring ot out! From what I'm able to gather, he's mainly mocking both the country and London, but maybe in also a self-depricating way as well (this is the main part I'm stuck on)? What I do understand is why he's doing this; Henry is a man who's default is to mock and be sarcastic. It's his coping mechanism for when things get too "real". We haven't seen him be as such yet because he hasn't needed to be around Margaret. However, now that he's been thrown off by her rejection, his way of dealing with it is to slip back into empty sarcasm.

Mr. Hale notices this change and is quite put off by it, even being relieved when he has to leave. He notes the change from the "lighter, clever, more worldly man" he saw earlier and at the wedding breakfast. It's interesting how a lot of people tend to use sarcasm to seem more clever and worldy, but Gaskell sees through this and contrasts them as opposites in this chapter! What a callout! She's so real for that.

At the last moment, Henry Lennox’s real self broke through the crust. “Margaret, don’t despise me; I have a heart, notwithstanding all this good-for-nothing way of talking. As a proof of it, I believe I love you more than ever—if I do not hate you—for the disdain with which you have listened to me during this last half-hour. Good-bye, Margaret—Margaret!”

First of all, describing the weird sarcasm thing he was doing as a "crust" is funny and interesting to me -- I didn't know that could mean "harsh" or "surly": the more you know! Secondly, love that he calls out his own coping mechanism while still having done it -- progress, I guess? And third -- best of all -- Henry, my guy, my dude, why on earth would you tell her you love her while also saying you might hate her because she hasn't been happy with you for the past 30 minutes???? I am truly baffled. Has this man ever wooed a woman in his life? For the sake of the female population, I truly hope not because if THIS is how he does it -- YIKES!!!! Luckily, he probably hasn't considering his whole "i'M a lAwYeR wHo dOeSnT hAvE bIg rOmAnCe fEeLiNgS" speech.

And that's the way the chapter ends, so I'll end with a couple of points I want to make clear.

I know I've been super hard on Henry and -- to be fair -- I think he's deserved some of it. But I don't think he's a bad person. So far, Gaskell has written all of her characters with a complexity and depth that shows you're supposed to root for these characters (more or less), while also understanding their flaws. There were times I pointed out when Margaret wasn't at her best either; while she isn't entitled to return Henry's feelings, she was sort of trivializing them and I wouldn't like that either. I think the problem with Henry is that he's used to getting what he wants and when he doesn't get it, he gets upset and lashes out the way he did with Margaret. I do honestly think he needs to work on himself and not think of romance right now because it sounds like he has deeper problems going on; if Margaret's rejection causes him to act like this, it's not just her rejection that's bothering him. I noticed that he talked about how he's currently struggling in his job and I think that can also account for him getting upset -- perhaps he had hoped for this to be a "good thing" to focus on instead of his work that isn't going well. I'm glad Margaret didn't return his feelings in that case because having one person the sole source of your happiness is never healthy and running away from your problems won't fix them! So yes, while I'm hard on him I do still think he has good moments and can be better: we're just seeing him at his worst. Still, that doesn't excuse his behavior, just explains it.

I also want to clarify for those who think I'm being too harsh on Henry and am doing so because I "don't understand what it's like to be rejected romantically". As a quick personal aside: I've been on his side of a romantic confession and was also rejected by someone who was my friend. And it hurt -- badly. Especially because there were many "signs" I read too much into as romantic (flirting, holding hands, etc.) so said rejection was not what I saw coming, much like Henry. However, when I realized that this person only saw me as a friend and wanted to keep it that way, I immediately told them "ok, I understand" and then took some time to myself to sort through my feelings. These were mainly embarrasment, shame, sorrow, and anger -- not at the person, but at myself for potentially ruining the friendship over this.

My main problem with Henry is that he reacts to Margaret's rejection with disappointment, anger, frustration, and hurt. These don't seem like the kind of emotions that come with an unselfish love, I hate to say it. I know there is likely more feelings bubbling beneath the surface, but if he's going to react that way and realizes he's hurting her in the process (which he does), he should ask for space while he sorts himself out. I get that wasn't "the thing" back then so I guess it's a bit harder for me to say "oh, Henry should've just left!" when no, he can't just abruptly leave like that and "oh, Henry should just work on his mental health" when that was very much not talked of. I'm just trying to think of ways he could've better handled this situation; he can't help his feelings, but he can help how he acts on those feelings. And it's not fair to Margaret to continually pressure her into a relationship she so obviously does not want. Additionally, the way he makes his confession/proposal frustrates me too because he mainly makes it about himself and his feelings. He wishes she wasn't happy at Helstone, he loves her, he's not a romantic person so it's a big deal for him. I mean, he doesn't even talk about her good qualities or what he likes about her: even Mr. "and what excellent boiled potatoes" Collins did that!!!!!

As a final note, if you're reading Dracula Daily at the same time as North and South Weekly, you may have noticed a few parallels between this failed proposal and Jack Seward's failed proposal. I want to dive into them and why I respect Seward's more than Lennox's, but I don't want to do it here because this post might be my longest to date and I'd rather make it a separate post anyway!

So yeah, another great chapter, excited to see what happens next week!

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Father-Son Bonding (2)

With Maddie and Jazz off attending a women in STEM conference over the weekend, Jack decides to take Danny out for the best father-son bonding activity there is—ghost hunting! They're going to catch that elusive Danny Phantom or die trying! Metaphorically, of course. Jack would never let his son die hunting ghosts, or at least... that's what he thinks.

Written for the prompts:

Jack and Danny spend quality time together hunting that damn ghost boy! Danny is being such a help! Bonus points for if they're both enjoying the endeavor. [from @pricklenettle], Jack Fenton finds out. [from @underforeversgrace], and Jack is excited to hunt ghosts alongside his ghost-powered son, and Danny is enjoying the time with his dad way more than he thought he would. Maddie, however, is deeply troubled by all the ways her son could get hurt, and her overprotectiveness causes a heaviness to fall over the Fenton family home. [from @astatia-ghast]

Read on AO3

Chapter 2: Jack Fenton Doesn't Know What's Waiting (Ch.1; Ch.3)

[Warning for minor violence]

In ghost form, Danny dove into the green-tinged water. Just as he'd expected, the Fenton Foam made it sting like hell against his skin, and especially in his eyes, but he couldn't afford to close them. He swam right to the bottom, where Mariner was holding his father under, and pried them apart, inadvertently kicking his dad in the stomach in order to get the leverage he needed.

"You think you can beat me in my own territory?" Mariner roared, their voice not the slightest bit muffled, despite the terrain. "The water strengthens me!"

"Not this water!" Danny refuted, although his voice did not carry like Mariner's did, so it sounded more like, "Glug glib globob!"

The one-liner didn't really matter though as Danny whipped out his Fenton thermos and sucked Mariner into it. Despite Mariner's claims, Danny had been right about the water weakening them. Fenton Foam was really no joke, and it made Danny wonder why his parents didn't use it more often. He didn't have time to wonder now, though.

He clipped the thermos to his belt and grabbed his father's limp body, hauling him out of the deep-end with all his ghostly strength.

Dad didn't move one he was out of the pool.

Danny didn't know what to do. He didn't know CPR or anything, so what could he do? Come on! He had ghost powers! If they couldn't even save his dad, what good were they?

Water!

If Danny could use intangibility to get the water out of Dad's lungs, maybe he'd be okay. He put his hands against his dad's chest and prayed to any god or ghost who might be out there that the foam in the water wouldn't resist intangibility. Someone must have been listening.

An instantly later, Dad's eyes snapped open, and he was coughing and spluttering and shouting, "Ghost!"

—

"Ghost! Ghost boy!" Jack shouted.

He barely registered being flat on his back on wet concrete when he jumped up and wrestled the ghost boy into submission, grappling him on the ground. The ghost boy didn't fight back. Perhaps he knew it would be futile. After all, Jack Fenton was not a ghost hunter to sneeze at; just ask his wife.

"Danny!" he called out, excited. "Danny I caught the ghost boy! I caught Danny Phantom!"

His head swiveled around, looking for his son's black hair and white jumpsuit, but he was nowhere to be seen. He called out again, looked harder, but there was no answer, and Danny was gone.

"What have you done to my son, spook!" Jack snarled. "You have one chance to tell me what you did before it tear you apart molecule by molecule, scientific progress be damned. If you hurt my son in any way, I'll pay it back to you a hundred times over."

"Dad... it's me," said the ghost boy, and in a flash of white light, the figure in Jack's arms transformed. "I'm your son."

And there was Danny, soaked to the bone, with ecto-foamer stains on the brand new jumpsuit his father had lovingly sewn for him, and Jack had never been happier or more confused to see him. He released the grapple and let his son stand up and take off his gloves to wring the water out.

"Danny?" Jack asked. "You're... you're the ghost boy? You're Danny Phantom? but how?"

Danny looked around nervously, but Jack already knew that all the water park patrons had gone, and the employees were hiding and cowering.

"The portal," he said. "I'm not contaminated with ectoplasm, it... changed me." He swallowed visibly and looked up at Jack with fear in his eyes. "Are you mad?"

Jack stepped forward and his breath hitched when he saw the way his son flinched back at the movement.

"No, Danny," he said, and he strode forward again and wrapped his boy up in a big bear hug. "How could I be mat at you for something like that? That's not your fault! If anything it's... it's mine."

He realized as he said it how true it was. It was his carelessness that caused the portal to activate when Danny went inside it. He should have disconnected the power. He should have put caution tape over the opening, or closed the doors. He shouldn't have been letting his son down into the lab when there was an experiment that big in progress at all. All the guilt that had plagued him since the accident first happened was suddenly coming back tenfold. He felt like he was drowning for the second time today.

"Oh Danny, it's all my fault," Jack insisted. "If I were less careless, if I were a better engineer, this wouldn't have happened to you.

"No, it's not your fault. I should have known better than to mess around with your experiments. It was just an accident. And in the end, it gave me the power to save you from being drowned by that ghost today, so I don't regret anything."

"Are you okay? That ghost didn't hurt you, did it?"

"Dad, I'm fine," Danny said. "The foam in the water stung a little, but I'm really okay."

"The foam... but you're still covered in it!"

"It's okay, Dad, really! It kinda just feels like licking a D battery, but all over my body."

"That's not—Danny, no," Jack said, shaking his head. "This place has showers, go take one and wash that gunk off. There are spare jumpsuits in the car; I'll bring you one."

Danny nodded, and turned to go to the locker room.

"Oh, and one more thing," Jack said, causing him to pause. "I'm sorry for... grappling you, and threatening you.... If I had known it was you, I never would have done that."

"It's okay, Dad." Danny smiled at him. "It was actually kinda nice hearing the lengths you'd go to protect me. Although... it would have been nicer if you didn't say those things to Phantom all the time."

"Well, I'm sorry for that, too," Jack added.

"I forgive you," Danny said firmly, like he was trying to end this conversation. The way he shifted uncomfortably seemed to corroborate that theory. "I'm gonna go take that shower now, 'cause this stuff is starting to itch."

"Right! You go do that."

After washing off the slowly crusting foamy water, Danny changed into a regular, non-Fenton-Fabric jumpsuit, and he and Jack walked back to the GAV. The ghost proximity alarm in the vehicle blared when Danny got within three feet.

"Sorry!" Jack shouted over it, hitting the button on the key fob that turned it off. "Sorry, I forgot about that."

Danny just snorted a laugh and climbed into the passenger seat. They were both silent as they buckled up, and Jack turned the key in the ignition so they could leave.

Finally, Jack cleared his throat. "I guess the ghost hunt today is a bust."

He glanced over to see Danny's lips quirk up in a small smile. "I don't know about that. Maybe we didn't hunt down Danny Phantom like we planned, but you are technically taking him home with you. Plus," — he waved his Fenton Thermos between them — "We did manage to bag that Mariner spook, and they were pretty powerful, so all-in-all, I'd actually say we can call today's ghost hunt a success."

"You know what? You're absolutely right!" Jack agreed. "I wasn't thinking about it that way, but this was a complete success! We are the greatest ghost hunters in the world!" he bellowed. "Now you say it, nice and loud."

"We are the greatest ghost hunters in the world!" Danny shouted, laughter coloring his every word.

Yeah... today was definitely a success.

Jack didn't let the fact that it would probably be the last sour the experience for him. He didn't even bring it up until they were home, putting their gear away.

"Too bad this is the last time we'll go ghost hunting together," Jack said sadly, while he field-stripped the ecto-guns to clean them.

Danny stopped cleaning the water out of his wrist ray, cotton swap frozen an inch away from it. "What? Why?"

"Well... I just thought that you wouldn't want to anymore, since you're kind of a ghost yourself," Jack said. "Obviously we don't know as much about ghosts as we thought we did, if you can be one and still be... you are still human, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but... that doesn't mean we have to stop hunting ghosts all together," Danny said, sounding a little downtrodden at the prospect. In fact, he sounded like he felt quite the same as Jack did about the two of them not hunting ghosts together anymore. "I mean, I hunt ghosts all the time when I go out as Danny Phantom, that's like, the main thing I use my powers for, actually."

"Really? Why?"

"Well I can't just let them go around town causing chaos, can I?" Danny pointed out. "They may not be like, evil, but they can't die, and they don't tend to think about the consequences of their actions, so they cause trouble, sometimes even when they're not trying to, and someone's gotta stop them."

"So... you just go out and hunt ghosts on your own? What do you do with them?"

"I guess... catch and release?" Danny said. "I catch them in the Fenton Thermos and then release them into the Ghost Zone where they can't hurt anyone. They'll come back sometimes, but I just catch 'em again."

For a long moment, Jack just stared at his son, watched as the boy's shoulders slowly shrunk down with anxiety as he waited for Jack to say something.

Then he started to laugh, a deep, powerful laugh, that echoed against all the steel and concrete in the lab.

"My son's a ghost hunter!" he crowed and he got up and lifted his son in another bear hug, swinging him around like a rag doll in joy. "Oh, Danny-boy, I'm so proud of you! Tomorrow we're gonna go ghost hunting again, and we're gonna catch tons of ghosts and send 'em back to the Ghost Zone! The Fenton boys won't stop that easy!"

Danny laughed with him, much higher pitched, but just as giddy. "We're the greatest ghost hunters in the world!" he cheered, and Jack repeated the declaration at the top of his lungs.

They did, eventually, get back to cleaning and putting away all their equipment. Jack washed Danny's new jumpsuit so he could wear it again tomorrow, they went out to get celebratory hamburgers for dinner this time, a happy change from their usual self-pity hamburgers they got after ghost hunting trips. It was the same hamburger, but it tasted like victory!

Then they both went to bed, and Jack could barely sleep a wink in his excitement for tomorrow.

—

That morning, both father and son were up bright and early, dressed in their Fenton Works Jumpsuits, and once again loading up the GAV with weapons and ghost hunting equipment. Soon enough, they were rocketing out of the garage in a screech of tires and a cloud of dust, chowing down on beef jerky and fudge for breakfast.

"Are you ready to hunt some ghosts?" Jack asked his son.

Danny grinned and transformed in a flash of light. "You bet I am!"

Thank goodness he'd reminded his father not to turn of the ghost proximity alarm or the internal automatic defense systems in the GAV, otherwise that little maneuver wouldn't have gone over as well.

They weren't hunting any ghost in particular, unlike yesterday, but there were always miscellaneous ghosts around Amity Park just waiting to be captured and sent home.

"Spectral Sub-sonar is picking up ghost activity downtown... looks like the mall," Danny said, and he gripped the safety handle tightly as the vehicle banked left to head downtown.

"I don't see any running and screaming," Jack observed when they got there. Through the glass doors at the front of the mall everything looked calm. "Do you think they're overshadowed?"

"Maybe," Danny said. "Or maybe the ghost isn't inside the mall."

Jack looked down at the sub-sonar screen in the dashboard. "Looks like the ghost is around back."

"I'll fly ahead and see what I can see inside," Danny suggested. "You drive a lap around the mall?"

"Good thinking," Jack said. "Don't forget to put on your Fenton-phones."

Danny nodded and did so, "Check," before phasing through the roof of the GAV to look for ghostly activity in the mall, turning invisible before he went inside.

"See anything?" Jack asked through the Fenton-phones.

"Not yet," Danny replied. "I'm pretty sure these people aren't overshadowed, though. I can't sense any ghosts in here, and they're acting way too naturally for it to be ghosts pretending to be shoppers. I'm heading to the far end now."

"Copy that, Dann-o. I'm on the far side now and so far—wait..." there was something going on just ahead, and Jack pulled the GAV to a hard stop. He could see that eerie glow that always accompanied ghosts wherever they went, and floating boxes. "I see the bogey! East loading dock!"

"On my way!"

Jack grabbed the Jack-o-Nine-Tails to subdue the ghost and got out of the GAV. He walked toward the loading dock with purpose, and by the time he arrived there, Danny flew through the wall to fight with him. They were close enough to see the ghost now, a familiar one at that.

"Beware!" The ghost shouted. "I am the Box Ghost! I am the master of all things cardboard and square! You do not stand a chance against my corrugated destruction! Nor the various stock and wares of..." he looked at the packing labels on the boxes he was floating around. "The GAP!"

Jack made to whip the ghost with his Jack-o-Nine-Tails, but the ghost just threw a slew of cardboard boxes, blocking each of the tendrils. It made for a good distraction, though, and Danny was able to hit the spook with one of his... what at he called it? One of his ghost rays, stunning the ghost.

"Dad, Fenton Thermos!" Danny called out, and shot a continuous beam at the Box Ghost.

Jack fumbled a bit getting the thermos into his hands, but Danny held on plenty long enough for his father to take aim and capture the ghost inside it.

"Got him!" Jack announced, capping the thermos proudly.

The two of them returned to the GAV where they high-fived each other for a job well done and tore out of the mall parking lot before anyone could blame them for the damage the Box Ghost had done.

"You know, Danny-boy, we make a pretty fantastic team," Jack observed, "whether you're a human or a ghost. A spectacular father-son duo!"

Danny chuckled. "Yeah... you know, actually, I was terrified about what would happen when I told you I was Phantom. Even though I knew you would love me no matter what, I was still scared that you would treat me differently afterwards. But, actually, I'm enjoying this way more than I thought I would."

"Oh, Danny," was Jack's sympathetic reply. "Well, you know what? I'm enjoying working with the ghost boy a lot more than I thought I would, too. So let's just enjoy this together!"

"Yeah!"

"After all, we're the greatest ghost hunters in the world!"

Danny laughed heartily and repeated the phrase.

"We're the greatest ghost hunters in the world!"

After that, the two of them kept on driving around, searching for ghosts. Luckily, there wasn't a lot of traffic for some reason, so Jack had plenty of room on the roads. Most of the day was pretty quiet, but they did manage to catch a pair of ectopusses before they decided to call it for the day and head home.

Danny changed back into his human form so they could drive thru at Nasty Burger on their way back, and the two boys were in excellent spirits as they turned onto their street.

At least, they were until they saw who was standing there, on their front porch, glaring furiously.

It seemed Jazz and Maddie had come home early. And Maddie did not seem too pleased to find her husband and sun driving home in a fully armed and activated Ghost Assault Vehicle.

[railingsofsorrow]

𝙾𝙲𝚃. 25𝚝𝚑; 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊, 𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖘.

summary: iris's letter.

pairing: spencer reid x oc!iris valentia

w.c: 706

warnings/content: mentions of food poisoning, vomit and fainting; mentions of self medicating; mentions of Alzheimer's disease; angst (not much); fluff; “ODU” is the acronym for “Old Dominion University”.

A/N: LAST LETTER!! we are done with act 1, now we'll proceed with act 2. next chapters are going to be in narrative style.

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[letter 1] [letter 2] [letter 3] [letter 4] [letter 5] [letter 6] [letter 7] [letter 8] [letter 9]

October 25th.

Dear, Spencer.

My whole department fell in sick yesterday — including my students, barely anyone was spared. Some kind of food poisoning? I don't know, people started throwing up, passing out and whatnot. We didn't know what to do!

(Yes, this is how I start my letter. I had to vent to someone how weird this is!)

I immediately called 911 and the cafeteria became swarmed with EMT's. My first supposition was that something was wrong with the cafeteria food. I never eat there because I either bring my own food or... I just don't remember eating until I'm off to go home. So, I tested it, the cafeteria food. But no. Nothing was wrong. I still find it weird that this happened out of nowhere, but my colleagues think it wasn't anything serious.

ODU was on the news today. Same thing happened. I can't shake this off, it can't be a coincidence, can it?

Sorry, I needed to ramble to somebody.

Ah, Spencer. It's too late for that, I already care enough to worry. What other resources are you trying? I hope you are not self-medicating yourself, it's not good. You're not doing that, right?

I have a friend that I could recommend you. She's a neurologist so she could be more helpful — you've probably been to a lot of those, but she's really good.

Her name is Clare Thompson, her office is in Washington, DC at Georgetown. If you want, I can make an appointment for you, we're close friends. If not, then just ignore this. I'm not trying to push you into anything, I'm just concerned.

What you said reminded me of the concept “Athazagoraphobia”. I researched about it to include it in my MD thesis about Alzheimer's disease. It means exactly what you said: fear of forgetting something or someone, or being forgotten.

I relate to you on that. But I'm more afraid of being forgotten. Sometimes I think that if I don't put my mark in the world, then how will people remember me? Do you feel like that too?

I absolutely know what you mean about the dolls... They're creepy. I had a few when I was a child, I don't know where they disappeared to though, I think my mother donated them. Either way, I'm happy not knowing their whereabouts.

I am happy that your friends are threatening you to to go out more.

Yes, maybe he is sick. It's an option I've considered. But he usually sends an email letting me know he will miss class. Fabian is not the kind of student that misses class without a plausible reason. He's very dedicated and one of my top students.

Of course you'd take is as a challenge, Doctor Reid. I could tell you were the competitive type from the moment you told me you were a rebel as a kid (no, I'll never forget that, you book thief).

Oh, did you really like the book? I'm so glad. Yes! I have like 5 recommendations to you but I'll spare you two: After Dark and Sputnik Sweetheart. Tell me what you think afterwards.

Something reminded me of you today. I was grabbing my coffee and I guess I picked up the wrong order. Do you know why I think that? Because it was the sweetest beverage I've ever had. I could've dropped dead right there if I had taken another sip. Disgusting, really. My blood vessels were almost clogged up. The person left in a hurry and left their coffee right beside mine on the balcony. Oh! And guess what: it was written “Reid” in their cup. I know it is a common name, but it reminded me of you.

Don't forget to drink water and eat, Spencer. As always, be careful. Looking forward to hear from you soon! <3

Love,

Iris.

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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @chayceschultz; @cultish-corner

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[glittercake]

could you go into your writing process a bit? i’ve been a fan of your fics for years now, and i still find myself in awe of how you’re able to create these cohesive worlds and voices and dynamics and just how tight your writing is. like i never feel like anything should be cut and even if all the loose ends aren’t tied up, i feel like it ends right where it should. like i’m so curious to see how your brain turns out so much magic!!

Oh my gosh, this is so nice of you to say 😭 Thank you first of all!  Secondly, I'll try to map out my process for big wips below the cut! Hope it makes sense 🤭 But this ask literally put a smile on my face all day, so thanks again. 

So to start off, I usually have a good idea of exactly how the story should end. That helps big time with everything else. If I don't know kind of what happens in the middle and exactly how it should end, I really struggle. 

Then I have a separate doc where I write down all my notes or thoughts about the stories, and also do the outlines. The story ideas come either extremely randomly, like me falling down a rabbit hole of presidential assassinations on YouTube (y'all know what this resulted in) or they're a result of my friend and i spiraling about something in the DMs (lighthouse, boxing fic, soulmate fics, most of the horny ones too 😂)

I also like to gather some pics just to get an idea of what the characters look like in whatever universe I'm writing about, as well as the scenery and buildings/layout. So for example, i used these inspo pics for The First Gentleman:

So every time I open the doc to write I'd have these, the outline, and the notes open. Other visuals like the banner or graphics I make also help put me in the right mindset for the story.

So, before I start writing, I draft an outline. I try to keep it brief tbh, the longer and more involved the outline the more intimidating the story feels which means less chance of me actually writing it 😅 (there are about 3 outlines that will probably never see the light of day!) but brief doesn't always work so what i do, especially for long wips, is make a short bullet list for what needs to happen in each chapter.

This way i can accommodate plot bunnies, shift stuff around and kill the darlings before i get too attached, i usually also have a few key scenes in my head and i then fit them in here. Outlines also include stuff like a quick character write up like age, quirks, bad habits, cute habits or sayings they have (in Ain't No Grave they had this cute back and forth "keep up now" or in Ruins Bucky called everyone meatballs.)

This is roughly what a chapter outline looks like for me:

lmaooo. as you can see it's very informal. basically a scribble.

Usually when I'm super inspired, i can get going straight away, otherwise I let it turn over in my head a little bit until i come up with a good starting point. What also helps me cement the character voices and specific characteristics is re-watching whatever source media it relates to. So for me it's always Cap 2 & 3 and TFATWS, Endgame where Sam gets the shield, and Sam’s scene in AoU and Antman.

I prefer to write in order from start to finish. I find I lose interest too quickly if I don't. Having a point to work toward is easier for me. BUT at the bottom of the notes/outline doc I also have a section for scenes that I absolutely can't get out of my head and need to write down right the fuck now. For example Monica’s induction in TFG was written waaay before anything else, so was the sambucky reunion in that fic. But, because I placed it at the bottom of a separate doc, the fic was still technically written in order 😌 makes perfect sense, I know lol.

Then whenever I finish a bullet point in the outline, I color it off the list. This process helps me keep track of what has been done and what still needs to happen. Seeing how much I've completed also really helps to keep me motivated, plus the colors are fun! Helps with sticking to what i had planned too, i find if i don't follow outlines, the scenes and characterization kind of jump all over the place. Mostly i only have some time on weekends to write so knowing exactly what i need to write and how i need to write it beforehand is key to me. Having the outline done before I start means I have a week to play those scenes out in my head or play with the dialogue until it sounds right. 

If I get stuck, I read either a book or my favorite fics, do some art, or just leave it be until inspo strikes again.

And I think that’s about it. Don’t know if this is what you were looking for but there you have it 😂 

💕 

I’m always happy to get asks about my fics and writing, so don’t be shy!

[goldenlaurelleaveswrites]

Requesting B, F, I, and/or Y from your latest reblog

Thanks for the ask!

Ask me about my writing.

I answered these out of order so I could put F under a cut incase of spoilers.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Not exactly whole stories, but there are a lot of elements across my stories that I've pulled from my own life. Especially in terms of conveying character emotions or relationships, I tend to pull quote a bit from my experiences. For example, whenever I'm writing about character experiencing anxiety, I do draw from my own experiences with how my anxiety manifests itself and the strategies I use to quell it. Or, when I'm writing Juleka and Luka being the Chaos Couffaine siblings. I don't write Luka and Juleka's relationship to be exactly the same as my relationships with my sisters (in fact, they're very different), but I'm able to pull from my own experiences of having sisters who I love and would do anything for, but also love to annoy (just like they do for/to me) to enrich the dynamic between Luka and Jules in my own writing. So it's not so much that things are inspired by my personal experiences, but I use my experience to flavour and enrich my writing.

And of course, there are things in my life or moments that spark ideas (for example, I love playing D&D so that's sparked a few ideas, but I wouldn't say it's inspired by my personal experiences).

Honestly, I think a story based on my personal experiences would be pretty boring 😂

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

This will come as a shock to absolutely no one, but writing Jules and Luka teasing each other and just being siblings is easily one of my guilty pleasure (except I don't feel guilty about it 😂). I also love writing fluffy moments, and I always have a great time writing Kaalki and Sass playing off of each other, but again I don't know if I could really call that a guilty pleasure. I enjoy what I enjoy 😂

Y: A character you want to protect.

Can I say all of them? (except that characters I can't stand)

I have to say Juleka because I love our resident Queen of Darkness. And of course, Luka and Marinette. And Tom and Sabine. And Kim. And the kwamis. Not going to lie, I'm also throwing my OCs in here.

That being said, I do make them struggle (and sometimes suffer) for the sake of the story, but there's always a reason!

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Ok, I'm not going to lie, this one was really hard to answer. Even in just a single story, there are always multiple pieces of dialogue that I love and/or am really proud of. And if you could see the state of my hoard...

So I'll cheat and do two! 😁

This is from chapter 3 of I Should be Asleep (which I need to do some more work on)

A series of loud thumps on the door, accompanied by a very annoyed voice broke him from his thoughts. “Are you done in there or what? Some of us need showers too, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m-” he started to call back, but Juleka didn’t wait for him to finish. The door swung open to reveal his irate sister, her long hair braided and piled on top of her head, with her towel , shower cap, and a bundle of black he assumed was a change of clothes in her arms. “Come on in,” he sighed sarcastically, gesturing in invitation as she barged past him. 

“You’ve been in here for half an hour.” 

“Sorry.” He hadn’t meant to be quite that long. It was just… “What?” 

Juleka was looking at him with a raised brow. “This is the part where I kick you out so I can shower, remember?” 

“Yeah. Right. Sorry,” he said sheepishly, his ears growing warm as he hurried out. 

He made his way back to his bunk as the door to the bathroom slammed shut behind him. Why his sister insisted on doing yoga in the mornings when she was not a morning person was beyond him

______________________________________________________________

This is a piece that's in the hoard, and I think it's actually the first time I've shown it to anybody besides @verfound (but I'm kind of banking on her having forgotten about it by now). Sorry about the redacted, but I don't want to spoil anything too badly!

“I- it is just… last night brought back memories. It has been a long time since I danced…” 

“I believe [redacted] would disagree with that statement.” 

“You know perfectly well what I mean.”

“I do,” he admitted with a smile. “Then may I ask you for this dance?” He held his hand out to her, hoping his face and the beating of his heart would not betray him.

“I- there is no music.”

“That did not stop you before,” he said with a smile.

Her face softened into a smile. “Then you may.” 

[andiwriteordie]

hi andi :) i love your writing sm and i saw someone else ask you for writing tips, but…i’ve always wondered how to make an outline? especially a really detailed one, like the one you described in another post. i always struggle with longer fics bc i don’t know how to make a good outline, and it sucks! i was wondering if you have any tips to help with that? <3

hi hello!!! 😊💖

so, i don't really know if there's a set way to write an outline, but i'll go ahead and share my methods for it if that's okay?

as a warning, i've always been someone who's had to take very thorough, detailed notes in order to fully understand or like retain anything. i was that way all throughout school, so i definitely think my outline reflect that... again, these are just my processes!

ok, so first i kind of use my outline as just a place to dump ideas as they come, if that makes sense? so right now, i've got a couple in progress outlines that i just don't have the time to flesh out yet, but as i get inspiration, i just throw those ideas into there and know i'll come back later... which is part how i end up with massive docs at the end lol.

take the outline piece by piece. so, when i say "wow i wrote a 90 page outline for this fic bc i'm crazy" obviously that took me a while and i didn't like... conceptualize it all at once? if that makes sense? i had the basic skeleton idea of what i wanted, then i just broke it down into smaller pieces from there. for me, on long fics like i know better (but you're still around) or i'll find a new place to be from, what i have done is go chapter by chapter (naturally) and then i do section by section. for these two fics, i found it easiest to allow myself 3 sections per chapter. so now, you kind of have a marker of "okay, i'm on chapter 5, section 2" and can give yourself goals and have a better overall framework for the fic!

okay, now more on the sections themselves (part 1): this one is kind of just funny, but i like to give my little sections names. usually they're just key words for me to remember what the hell i'm supposed to be talking about in this section (the way that my chapter titles also provide that frame of reference for me). so for example (sorry i'm not trying to be like ooh look at my fics! just like. it helps me with explaining to give examples lol), in i'll find a new place to be from, chapter 6 is called "The Vision" and section 3 on my outline was called "Into the Upside Down" because i literally decided/had in my mind that i wanted that last section to lead into chapter 7, which is their adventures in the upside down. even when i hadn't fully written that section out yet, i knew the main point of that scene was to have the party first venture into the UD... which leads into my next point.

for me, breaking things into sections like this (as opposed to winging it - which i often do on oneshots but don't really recommend on long fics) literally helps me break down what scenes need to be written. so, i ask myself things like: what are you trying to accomplish in this chapter? where does this chapter fit into the overall plot? and what scenes need to happen in order to progress the plot or the characters' arcs forward? or do you have a scene in mind that you wanna build around? when i have that, i kinda throw that into the mix, then build the chapter around it! that helps when you have a basic understanding of what you wanna write in the fic but are struggling in the "filler" chapters and things. so for me, doing it this way helps me conceptualize and fully map out how the plot is progressing, what needs to happen in later chapters, or the opposite with what is being set up in earlier chapters.

once i have the chapters/sections figured out, i literally just like bullet point the hell out of it. how do i imagine the scene? is it mostly internal monologue? what is happening in that section? any dialogue i might have, i'll throw in there! i'll literally write down things as simple as "we see mike going into will's room" or something like that, just so i am beginning to visualize what i'm trying to accomplish here. (again... this is also probably taking it a step further than i have to, but for someone who needs to be thorough and likes having a tool to fall back on whenever i'm struggling through a chapter, it's a lifesaver). i also like leaving myself notes for things to foreshadow in the overarching plot, as well as reminders for where the narrator's story arc should be at right now. so for example, when outlining i know better, i really tried to remind myself that i was supposed to be emphasizing mike's guilt because of losing will throughout different chapters, and when i came back to write it, i knew what kind of emotional tone to set for his perspective.

anyways, that was a LOT, so i hope you were able to find any of it helpful! also if it helps, here's an example of a chapter i outlined for i'll find a new place to be from so you can kind of see how i set my chapter outlines up! :)

[dreamersscape]

Curiosity Killed the Cat: A Dreamersscape Story

Which doesn't seem quite fair, really, considering although I like cats a great deal, you still wouldn't call me a cat person.

Step #1: Love Kakashi Hatake far too much as a character.

Step #2: Scroll through his tumblr tag. Slowly start noticing that people often draw parallels between him and another character from the currently-running Jujutsu Kaisen manga and anime, Satoru Gojo.

Step #3: Think, "This is fine. It appears they're mostly just comparing their similar character designs and they both have unique things going on with their eyes. I'm not seeing anything that's really piquing my interest with this series; I'll just quickly look up if there's anything more to these comparisons beyond surface-level resemblances and that will be that."

Step #4: One of the next things you learn about Gojo is that a common clickbait-y way to frame discussion around parts of his personality is along the lines of, "Does Gojo have a God complex?"

Step #5: Think, "Ah, okay. That's likely an exaggeration, but probably Kakashi and Gojo can't be all that similar, or at least I likely wouldn't feel much the same about them as characters. Now I'm simply curious how far off Gojo actually is from having a God complex and then I'll be done."

Step #6: Did not back out of this rabbit hole at this juncture.

Step #7: Hard to recollect exactly the order of things from here, but learned that Gojo is the teacher for his own group of 3 fifteen-year-old students (and also previously taught older students since he's the head of first-year high school students at his very small school), learned back when Gojo was a student at this same school he had a very close friend who was instrumental in imbuing Gojo with his current moral principles and this friend is now dead, and learned that Gojo is the unequivocally strongest character within his universe's power system, and thus while he has a LOT of confidence in his own abilities and can be a bit cocky and a show-off, he definitely doesn't think of himself as godlike (anyone who's familiar with JJK and reading this--I'm aware of 'the honored one' thing, hang on a sec).

Step #8: Decide, "Alright then. Well, I am starting to get more intrigued by this series. Maybe I'll look up a little more about it and watch the first episode or two. It'll be fine. After all, I get now why people are reminded of Kakashi by Gojo and vice versa, but it certainly sounds like Gojo's personality is basically the opposite of someone who's convinced they're scum and is incredibly unassuming and humble and could honestly use a bit more self-worth so he at least possesses a modicum of self-preservation inclination. Gojo seems to have a lighthearted, goofy side that is partly used as a cover for his deeper emotions, and I might get attached to that based on other characters I've loved, but that still ought to be pretty safe. If I do wind up liking Gojo the most out of all the characters, there's no way he'll put me through the same heart-wrenching agony as seeing Kakashi being a paragon of strength of character and sheer goodness, while inwardly he can't see anything of value in himself."

The thing is, I wasn't wrong.

But clearly, I underestimated the pain I could still experience at the hands of a Kakashi-adjacent character.

(All I'm about to explain is completely non-spoilery, by the way. And by that I mean I'm not going to be ruining any major plot points or the "viewing experience" of watching the anime or reading the manga. Anything I reference that happens at any point beyond the first few chapters, I'll be as vague and opaque about it as possible, as well as very brief. And it will also all be basic background info/set up level stuff.)

Okay, so before I get to the real kicker, let's start with Gojo's dream.

In the world of Jujutsu Kaisen, the chakra equivalent is called cursed energy. However, cursed energy is not a life force. Cursed energy arises from people's negative emotions, and if the quantities of negative emotions emitted by the populace is large and concentrated enough, this creates cursed spirits of various sorts. For example, humanity's collective fear and pain experienced through natural disasters created a cursed spirit out of that resulting enormous amount of cursed energy. Cursed spirits usually aren't sentient, but almost unerringly they cause great harm and often death to humans. The number we're given at the start of the manga is around 10,000 unexplained deaths and missing persons per year in Japan are the result of curses.

Jujutsu sorcerers are the people who exorcize (or destroy, more like) cursed spirits to mitigate that as much as possible. They exorcize the curses with cursed energy-fueled techniques that are unique to each sorcerer. A sorcerer's innate cursed technique (CT) is said to comprise around 80% of their potential/talent as a fighter of curses. We're told that over the course of the last, I don't know, century or so (?) - the date at the start of the series is June 2018 - curse spirits have been increasing in strength and number. However, the incredibly rare combination of the Limitless cursed technique and the Six Eyes in-born trait Gojo was born with is so powerful that his birth alone swung the balance from being in the curses' favor back over to the side of the jujutsu sorcerers.

Details on Gojo's childhood are quite sparse, basically the only things we know about the Gojo family are it's one of the three big clans in jujutsu society and they're very wealthy. As far as I'm aware, Satoru is the only member of the clan we've ever met. So there's only supposition for what his home life was like up until he started at Jujutsu High, but we do know that because his possessing both the Six Eyes and Limitless was the first occurrence of such in 300-400 years, his existence was something of a spectacle and many sorcerers came to visit him just to see it for themselves, and too, he was the target of curse users (sorcerers who use jujutsu for evil and their own selfish gain) in pursuit of the over 100 million yen bounty placed on his head since he was very young.

It would be pretty reasonable to assume Gojo was subsequently rather sheltered and perhaps quite lonely as a child, but at the same time praised and lauded for how he was so naturally, prodigiously powerful. It only makes sense that Gojo has more than a little pride in his strength and puts so much stock in that. I'm sure he really enjoyed the attention and notoriety he received, and he never expresses resentment regarding any pressure that might have been put on him as a kid to be the infallible (future?) vanquisher of curses (although later I do think he places more and more pressure on himself to "take care" of everything and be responsible for the safety of everyone in the jujutsu world and beyond), and yet I do believe it's apparent he understands he didn't get to have a "normal" childhood. As a part of one of the big clans, he was surrounded and immersed in the political power plays and jockeying for prestige and influence by jujutsu society's elders/leaders/'higher ups' from the start (we don't know when or how it happened, but presumably because he's the strongest living Gojo, at the start of the story Satoru is the head of the clan), and these higher ups view Gojo in terms of how he can best be used for their own benefit. Outside of his high school best friend and later a few of his students, Gojo has very few people who have more than a cursory understanding of who he is as a person, who seem to want to know him, not the living embodiment of the title 'The Strongest', but just Satoru Gojo. Gojo likes being The Strongest, but when that's all everyone around him appears to care about, it leaves him feeling very isolated and alone.

As I mentioned before, though, Gojo never complains about this. He doesn't ever even imply "because I was treated this way, I want to prevent anyone else having to go through that." He does tell one of the people he's somewhat close to what his aim is and what the reason is behind it, but it's worded in a way where the person is confused by Gojo's explanation, and we as the reader can't even be sure he's referring to himself, since it could just as easily be in reference to his deceased friend.

It's informed by his experiences growing up certainly, but Gojo's fierce desire to give the kids he watches over the opportunity to fully and freely enjoy their youth is not about regretting what he missed out on; it's about what he can do for them, doing all he can to protect and preserve their childhood and making sure no one can take that away from them.

I realize I haven't exactly explained what precisely Gojo's 'dream' is and how it ties into all this, so I'll attempt to circle back to that now.

Jujutsu Kaisen begins with our main character, Yuji Itadori, accidentally stumbling his way into the jujutsu world by doing something very dangerous in order to be in what he thinks is a better position to help his friends out of a bad situation. He succeeds in helping his friends, but what he had to do to make that happen is an action that is punishable by death under jujutsu regulations. Naturally, Yuji was unaware of that, but it doesn't matter to the sorcerer higher ups. Gojo hears about the situation, intervenes, and is able to get the elders to suspend Yuji's execution for the time being. I'm glossing over a bunch of stuff but let's roll with that for now. While Gojo is explaining the whole situation to Yuji, the first thing he tells Yuji about the higher ups is that he thinks they're a bunch of cowards. And really, that's just the tip of the iceberg for how Gojo feels towards these leaders. He's not a fan of them by any stretch of the imagination. I said above Gojo never voices resentment directed at them over his lack of a carefree childhood, and that's true, however his dislike of the higher ups does seem to be partly personal. We just don't know the specifics other than that when he criticizes them (to their faces or a fellow colleague) he sticks to their wrongful actions on the whole, not how they've wronged him. A handful of episodes later, the higher ups pull something really awful and underhanded while Gojo is away on another mission, a scheme that is partially motivated by wanting to get back at Gojo for interfering with Yuji. Newly and deeply angered by this, Gojo delves further into the corruption at the top of the jujutsu world and then tells us about his dream:

A similar scene happens one year previous to this:

(Gojo doesn't use it anywhere near as frequently, but his saying 'what a pain' about many a situation still manages to give me Shikamaru feelings and I enjoy that.)

What stands out to me the most here is how much Gojo WANTS the students/his allies to be equal to or surpass him in strength. He's not at all concerned with keeping his position and accompanying power all to himself like the higher ups are. During one of the first chapters of the manga/show, to allay someone's uneasiness over potential danger, Gojo tells them, "Don't worry, I'm the strongest." It's only later that we learn when he was much younger he was originally quite happy to say, "Anyway, it should be okay. We're the strongest." I really think he would like nothing better than to be able to say that once again.

In an unusual turn of events for me, when I caught up to the JJK manga a few months ago, I actually had pretty good timing with what was currently going on, but now the story is starting to enter into its final stages and it seems like a lot of people in the fandom feel the narrative is very possibly leading to Gojo's death in some way that will better enable this brighter, less corrupt future for the jujutsu world and his students that he's been working towards this entire time. I don't think that would be a bad outcome, I'm not against noble sacrifices entirely, but I really, really, really don't want to see this happen. And here's where my unexpected Kakashi-adjacent feelings come into play. The reasons for why I'm so invested in seeing both Kakashi and Gojo live to be a part of the better world they helped create are pretty different. Yet, they're also not miles apart. I don't think Gojo has as many doubts as Kakashi that he has a place in the future of which he dreams, but from what I can tell his main focus is on that future existing for everyone else. Maybe he believes that is his purpose as The Strongest? Probably he does have every intention of being there with his fellows. I just want that for him so very much. For the few glimpses of kid!Gojo we got, who always looked so solemn; for the teenage Gojo with the biggest, goofiest smiles, who had so much connection ripped away prematurely; for Gojo the teacher, who works so hard to make every kid feel welcome and excited and to know they aren't alone. I'm aware of the kind of story I'm reading--Jujutsu Kaisen is unrelentingly brutal to its characters. It's a matter of course to have your heart mercilessly stomped on over and over reading JJK. It's not the sort of story where you can reasonably expect a happy ending. Unfortunately, I'm much too optimistic of a person for this manga and I'm far too attached to the story and characters and I'm in way, way too deep.

But let's ignore all that for now and get to the Kakashi-adjacent part of Gojo which clobbered me over the head with feels even worse than what I've already detailed!

@panharmonium, when you've reached this part of the post, I can't really guess what you're thinking about it all, but what if I told you that one of Gojo's students, Megumi Fushiguro, the Sasuke-adjacent one, was, along with his one-year-older step-sister Tsumiki, quasi-adopted/looked after/raised by Gojo from the time Megumi was six/in first grade and Gojo was just nineteen? By blood, Megumi is actually a member of the Zen'in clan, another of the three major clans in jujutsu society. Gojo, fresh out of high school and still newly, painfully estranged from his best friend, hears by chance that Megumi, who's on his own at this time apart from Tsumiki (also parentless), is about to be sold to the Zen'in because of the cursed technique he's just manifested, and although it has nothing to do with him, Gojo goes to Megumi and asks him if he wants to go live with the Zen'in. Upon learning if he chooses this, Tsumiki will be very unhappy (the Zen'in clan cares nothing for her and they are by-and-large super blatantly misogynistic), Megumi says no and Gojo's like, "Cool, that's great! I'll take care of everything and I'll make sure you two have everything you need. I want you to grow up strong!" And then there's a moment in the manga, where present-day Gojo is taking a nap and dreams of this first meeting between himself and Megumi and when he wakes up to his three students coming to see him he does this:

AND THE SECOND SEASON OF THE ANIME JUST STARTED AIRING A FEW WEEKS AGO AND THAT MEANS I'LL BE ABLE TO SEE THIS MOMENT ANIMATED POSSIBLY AS SOON AS AUGUST 3RD (DUB PROBABLY AUGUST 17TH) AND I'M GONNA DIE. HE LOVES THAT KID SO MUCH!!!!!

So obviously that's super sweet and all, but maybe you're thinking, "Okay, that's nice, but do they really have that Kakashi 'n' Sasuke vibe?" and to that I say, "CHECK OUT THIS SHORT VIDEO AND THEN HOPEFULLY I CAN REST MY CASE."

Also, it is now my most important goal in life to draw a Kakashi & Sasuke version of these panels so I can dedicate it to you (and padmerrie if she wants in on this):

Of course, I'm not saying Sasuke and Megumi are carbon copies of each other (or Kakashi and Gojo for that matter, as I've tried to delineate above). Megumi has a bit of a grumpy disposition, but he's also very polite; he always calls Gojo "Gojo-sensei" and he uses "-senpai" for all the upperclassmen (who he met previously to becoming a student at Jujutsu High). Megumi is the dog guy in JJK and Gojo's more reminiscent of a cat in some respects. Etc., etc., etc. But in general, I really hope you see the vision!

While I'm at it, I might as well show you the little Gojo & Yuji video that naturally gives me all the Kakashi & Naruto feelings:

Yuji's already got the jubilantly-tackle-hug-your-sensei part down! (Although, of course, Gojo's much less resistant.🥰)

It is admittedly much more of a stretch to say Nobara is Sakura-adjacent, but I have seen someone describe her as a 'gremlin child' and I love that about her! <3

Anyway, I totally get if none of this is up your alley for whatever reason or you don't have the time to get into JJK if this happens to persuade you or if you just want to prioritize other stuff right now. *I* didn't mean to get into it, after all! The plan for my looking into JJK was to be purely for enhancing my love for Kakashi, and I failed spectacularly at limiting myself to that. I just thought I would share to see if it would be a fun read for you. :)

[no-psi-nan]

hsfjdlshfks okay I appreciate y'all keeping me busy, @crookedlyinnernightmare, @hillbilly---man, @akirameta84, and Anon XD

Easy-peasy! It's a funny, fluffy get-together with a tall glass of lemonade at the end lol.

Dialogue / characterization! I am extremely picky about characterization and I'm just not interested in anything that doesn't feel in-character. My goal is that, no matter how wild the situation, the characters feel just like their canon counterparts, and react accordingly.

Ooh, tough one... This says "dialogue scene", so I guess I can't just plop down an Akechi monologue XD

I'm still going to cheat and say "the whole last chapter of Moving Forward 1", because honestly that was insane of me. I've never seen it done, I was advised against trying, and I still managed to write a scene that has like 15 different people in it with no dialogue tags, that was comprehensible to readers on the first pass. Call that a hashtag writer flex lol.

Hardest is definitely the Moving Forward fics. Writing gen fic is just not something I have a lot of practice doing. And to be honest, it's not something I tend to read either hsfjdlshfks. There's also other characters besides the Psychickers involved, and I'll admit that I don't think much about those guys, rip. They're not blorbo to me, so while I can write them, it's not nearly as fun most of the time. 😔

Easiest would be pretty much all of the romance n lemon ones hsfjdlshfks. Creeping like Ivy was particularly easy because it was short lol. And there's no pesky other characters or even a semblance of plot lmao. I would just dash off one of the lil scenes when I had a minute! I think the hardest part of it was deciding the scene order honestly.

A secret fic I haven't posted yet. >:3

Semi-reclined on my nice leather couch with my phone in hand, only sound is the purr of the cat on my lap :3

Oh boy, I don't think they're old enough to really need revising in general, but my way of writing Akechi has gotten more convoluted and Saiki now speaks in shorter bursts. The latest chapter I posted in Extra Love Stories of Psychics Volume 2 was actually written over a year ago so I did actually tweak Akechi's verbiage quite a bit before posting it lol.

Recency bias, etc but the other day I was feeling really down about posting like 30k of fic and getting no comments at all until I discovered that at some point, one person bookmarked most of my Saiki fics and left glowing reviews in the bookmarks, pointing out their favorite jokes and mentioning that I converted them on a couple of ships. That was REALLY nice!! I would have never seen all of those sweet comments if I didn't know to check the public bookmarks occasionally though hsfjdlshfks. So they should've been ideally in the actual comments section, but it was a nice surprise when I was feeling down!

[Context for asks] <- now closed

[flamesmemory]

Psychic Witch, Exercises 20, 21, & 22

I really like these exercises--once I got the hang of them they were really useful. At first I thought they might be part of the sequence for exiting alpha state, because they were listed directly after that exercise. But it seems like they're just included as useful exercises to be used when needed rather than needing to be done in order.

The first one, Exercise 20, is Psychic Cleanse. Performing it is very simple, so it's easy to quickly do even when I don't have much time or am not feeling great, and it's reliably very effective! I usually feel like I'm dumping a ton of bricks that I didn't even realize I was carrying. It's rare that I need to do it more than once too--a lot of other techniques I have to do several times to get everything, but this one seems to be a one and done the majority of the time. And if I'm having trouble letting go of other people's perspectives, this one is great for bringing me back to myself.

The next one, Exercise 21, is Calling Back Your Energy. I really like this one though I use it less frequently than the cleanse. The first time I used it, I definitely noticed a difference, like parts of me that had been missing came back into place. One of the things that I found interesting was that when I imagine writing my name on the silver ball, I see the letters in my mind but it's like a symbol is super imposed on what I'm writing--it reminds me of the sigil I used to have for myself, which is kinda cool.

Finally, Exercise 22 is Balancing and Re-polarizing. The visualization for this one is summoning the scales of mind, body, spirit, and emotion one by one and imagining bringing them into balance. I'm not really sure why mine almost always show up as wildly off kilter. There's usually a bit of three dimensionally straitening the scales out rather than just making the two sides even. I'm curious if there's something I could be doing in general to be more balanced? Polarized? But I'm also not fully sure what the technique is acting on, other than I generally feel more settled afterwards. I've noticed with all of the exercises that have a visualization component, the way I can tell when the spell is done is that the visualizations disappear. With the scales sometimes I'll have to try a few times, and if they don't fully disappear that's usually a clue to try again.

These were the last exercises in Chapter 3! It seemed like this chapter was pretty foundational so I spent some extra time making sure I got them right. Chapter 4 kicks off really getting into developing psychic senses.

[rd0265667]

Lobo(Chapter 11)

Y/N's POV "Right there, third warehouse from the left." I whispered to Jake as we perched upon a nearby cliff "Okay, the Authorities have been alerted, they should be, wait what is that?" Jake exclaimed, as we saw 3 black vans pulling up at the warehouse. "Shit, they're moving Ryujin. We have to hold them here long enough for the police to come." I said, face stoic as Jake looked in shock at me.

"Are you insane? Who knows what they have?" Jake asked, gesturing to his gun "They're probably just sasaengs Jake. They have good planning but I doubt they have heavy arms. If they leave, we might not be able to find them again. I'm not asking you to risk your life with me, just watch the perimeter, tag any runners, and get their wheels" I said, glancing at his gun and his swiss army knives "Fine Y/N, I don't know how you plan on doing this but I guess I can't stop you." Jake said with a sigh As I glanced around the warehouse, I saw a metal staff, about my height 'Close enough to a scythe I guess.' I thought to myself as I turned to Jake "I'm going to go down there, I'll get the metal staff and hold them off as long as I can, I'll take the drivers out first, get their wheels then get to a safe distance away but not too far to where you can't tag them." I ordered, as Jake looked at me with shock "How do you know you can use that staff properly? You said you can't fight!" Jake said, worry evident in his tone "Call it a hunch. Wish me luck." I whispered, running down to the vans.

Third Person POV

Y/N ran down to the first van, knocking on the door. The driver got out of the van, checking out the disturbance, only to be met with a swift thwack right across the face. He did the same thing for the other two vans, they were clearly not fighters, but from his cliff, Jake looked in wonder at Y/N. 'Who the hell is he?' He thought, as Y/N gave him the all clear signal, prompting him to run down and starting to pop their tires

As Y/N walked into the warehouse, he saw as there were around 20 odd people standing in the warehouse. So many obsessive fans, staring at an unconscious Ryujin, who was tied to a chair. From the side, you could recognize the look on some of these horrible men's faces. Lust. "Who the hell are you!" A rather muscular man shouted, alerting the rest to Y/N's presence. Many of them quickly faced Y/N, with knives, machetes, but no guns, much to his relief "I have come with an offer. Let Ryujin go now, and I'll let all of you go." The men all laughed at Y/N "What are you going to do little man, huh?" One of the men taunted, as the others laughed "If you let Ryujin go, this will be the end of it all. I will not harm you, I will not hurt you. But if you don't, I'll kill you all. Last Chance boys." Just then Ryujin seemed to open her eyes, as she saw Y/N surrounded by men, men armed with weapons She tried desperately to shout for you to run, but she was gagged, and all that came out was muffles. "Ryujin, don't worry, close your eyes, and don't open them until I tell you to alright? You'll be free soon. Listen to me alright?" Y/N said tenderly "Yes my princess, close your eyes, I wouldn't want to scar you by making you watch this wannabe bleed out on the ground." One of the men said, running his hand down Ryujin's cheek, who headbutted his hand away. "Now you've done it. Ryujin, now." Y/N said as he closed his eyes, he felt it coming, he knew it was coming.

Ryujin's POV

Y/N came for me... he came. But he's gonna get himself killed... He looked at me with a reassuring smile, saying, "Ryujin, don't worry, close your eyes alright? You'll be free soon. Listen to me alright?" Then, one of the disgusting guys ran his hand down my cheek, saying, "Yes my princess, close your eyes, I wouldn't want to scar you by making you watch this wannabe bleed out on the ground." I recoiled in disgust, hitting his hand away with my head, as I heard Y/N said "Now you've done it. Ryujin, now." I quickly closed my eyes, as for about a minute, nothing happened. It was torturous, as a minute of eerie silence engulfed us, and I was terrified. Is Y/N going to be okay? Soon, I heard someone shouting, before I heard a nasty crunch, then a squelch. I began to tear up. If something happens to Y/N just because I wanted to meet my friend, I would never be able to forgive myself. "Who's next?" That was Y/N! I breathed in slight relief, knowing that Y/N was still fine, at least for now. The next two minutes passed by like a blur, as I heard screams, bodies thudding to the ground. I cringed every time I heard someone yell, or I heard a blade pierce someone's skin with a squelch. Through the fight, I felt something splattering onto my face. I didn't see it, but I could smell it. Blood "WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING!" I heard a loud gruff voice yell, followed by a deep booming laugh. Was that Y/N? It sounds like him, but it's a little distorted weirdly. Then, suddenly, I heard as the room was engulfed in silence, except for one sound. Blam, Blam, Blam

Someone was continuously punching someone else, and that was all that was happening, as I felt a knot in my stomach. Was that Y/N getting punched? Then, I heard sirens as I heard Jake shouting, "Y/N! Y/N!" Oh no, is it really Y/N getting pummeled? No Ryujin, keep your eyes close, Y/N said keep your eyes closed Then, I heard a familiar voice. Yuna's voice. "Y/N, please calm down, Ryujin's okay, you can calm down okay? Ryujin's safe, you can calm down now."

Then, I felt as my bonds were cut, and I was lifted up, bridal style. After walking a short distance, I heard Y/N say, "It's okay Ryujin, you can open your eyes now." As I opened my eyes, I saw Y/N's face and hands, with quite a bit of blood on it "OMG, Y/N, are you okay?" I asked frantically, as Y/N set me down on a chair. "I'm okay Ryujin, I'm just happy you're fine, here, take this handkerchief, clean yourself up okay? Once you're cleaned up, go to that white van over there, they'll bring you back to the girls, and I'll take care of some things around here." Y/N smiled reassuringly as I quickly hugged him "Thank you so much Y/N, and I'm sorry for sneaking out." I said as I teared up "Its okay Ryujin, just don't do it again alright. And you're safe, that's all that matters."

Y/N then walked over to Jake and Alice, Alice seemed visibly shaken, and as I walked past the warehouse. Blood. Blood was everywhere. What the hell happened?

For those who don't like blood or violence, skip this part, some might be a little uncomfortable

Third Person's POV (I based this fight off a nightclub fight in sifu lmao, I'll add the video for extra immersion if I can  , and side note, I'm bad at the game)

By now, the men had surrounded him in a circle, encircling him, waiting for him to make the first move. The first man charged at Y/N with a pocket knife, but Y/N was ready. As he grounded himself, he dodged toward the right, avoiding the stab as he used the staff to hit his arm upward, knocking his knife into the air, delivering a sharp kick to his stomach, before grabbing his falling knife and throwing it into another person's shoulder. Seeing that, the rest seemed to falter a little, fear slowly overtaking them. "Who's next?" Y/N taunted, pointing the staff at the guy who had taunted Y/N previously. But this wasn't Y/N. This was a monster, and everyone there knew it. Y/N charged forward, swiping at the feet of three of the assailants, knocking them off their balance, before Y/N threw his staff at one of them, lunging and nailing him in the stomach, before grabbing the still airborne staff, clubbing another in the face. As Y/N saw someone slashing down at him, he quickly rolled over a nearby table, dodging the blow. Y/N delivered a strong kick in the gut to another man, before charging at him, and pushing him towards two other attackers. Y/N began attacking the off balance attackers, as one of them tried his best to block the attacks with a baton, got overwhelmed and knocked onto the ground. Y/N quickly rolled over to the man he threw a knife at earlier, plucking the blade from his unconscious body, now dual wielding the staff and knife. One of the big muscular guys walked up to Y/N, crossing his arms to intimidate him. Big Mistake. Y/N jabbed at his stomach with the staff, delivering a sharp kick to his side, before immobilizing the big man's arm with his staff, before swiping the blade across the man's throat, as blood splurted out, staining the area around him. The men still standing slowly backed down in fear, as some tried to run

"WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING!" Y/N yelled out, stunning the fearful men, as he raised his hand, smelling the scent of the blood, before laughing like a Demon. Of the 20 or so men, only 10 or so were left. Y/N bolted to them, with his knife and staff, it was an easy feat. In the blink of an eye, all of them were on the ground, some with their throats sliced, while some just laid on the ground, their limbs bruised and battered, bloodied by many open wounds. One man, was having it worse than the rest though. The man who had touched Ryujin earlier, laid in quivering fear on the ground as Y/N clubbed him across the face, before stabbing him in the wrist and ankles, as the man yelled in pain. After that, Y/N started beating him up, punching his face in, as loose teeth clattered to the ground and blood splattered.

Then, Jake ran into the warehouse, together with some police, yelling "Y/N! Y/N!" He saw this coming, and thankfully, came prepared. He quickly slid his phone next to Y/N, where Yuna was waiting on the phone, saying, "Y/N, please calm down, Ryujin's okay, you can calm down okay? Ryujin's safe, you can calm down now." With that, Y/N slowly calmed down, looking at his blood drenched hands. He quietly wiped his hands clean, before walking over to Ryujin, freeing her and bringing her to safety

[jayflrt]

56 years since i last sent an ask . hello jayflrt 🙏 caught up w the updates AND WHERE DO I START????? this is all over the place by the way.

first of all jayyn washington date ┬┬﹏┬┬ they're so cute god take away all their problems double them and give them to sungjin, yuna and whoever that client is 🙏 that washington trip definitely took a turn . . . for good i hope . AND HEEJAY R SO CUTE LIKE THEIR DRINKING SESSION TOGETHER? fuck romance we need their friendship to thrive ‼️ and hoon as well ^^ i know this is all for the major angst that's coming up INCLUDING ALL THE THINGS JAY'S TELLING YN ESP ABOUT HER BEING NICE TO BE AROUND AND ALL BUT HE'S ONLY WITH HER FOR HIS TASK u love to torture us. i am not ready for the angst if jayyn dont end up together i will end it all and pretend this smau never happened.

AND. the interviews. that the fuck r the questions i hope someone asked me what kind of tree i want to be during interviews 😭 btw i am asking u the same question. what type of tree would u want to be?? bc it's an interesting question nonetheless. PLUS the way i gasped when jay said he wanted to punch sunghoon....in front of sungjin. ok i kinda knew it won't end badly ( i could be wrong but jay wouldnt fuck up that easily i trust him. ) it was all so fun and games we have hoonyn back as friends, hee hoon r almost okay as well AND THEN YUNA? I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH HER? look i dont blame her for being the way she is since it mostly roots back to his parents but she's making it everyone's problem rn :/ IT'S SO ANNOYING LIKE I SAW YUNA'S PIC ON THE TL TODAY AND I WAS LIKE 'GIRLLLLL WHY R U DOING THIS' THIS SMAU IS EATING MY BRAIN 😭😭😭😭😭

btw im sorry for literally sending an essay here. ur logic behind everything esp how u've written the secret society and the whole thing about why it's called order of kyrptos ++ is so so good im loving this so far :o i hope u have a good day ahead ^_^

HELLO!!! omg how have you been?? 🌷 AHH NO WORRIES I'LL JUST REPLY TO THEM ALL 🏃‍♂️ I HOPE IT WASNT A HASSLE TYPING ALL THIS OUT

omg the washington chapter was like the only break they were able to catch 🥲 and then shit hits the fan as soon as mc leaves!!!! like i'd take that flight right back atp 🚶‍♂️ LMAOAO heeseung is wearing the #1 jay supporter crown rn honestly they're a married couple in another life ! BUT YES UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS THE IMPENDING ANGST but i am a firm believer in happy endings don't worry

nah seriously enough with "where do you see yourself in 5 years" i'd like to be asked how i see myself as a tree. also i think i'd probably like to be a bonsai tree just so i can be pampered. or a redwood tree because those are HUGE and they must receive so many hugs 🫂 what do you think you would be 🫢 LMFAOO it definitely could've ended worse for jay but he clutched up so well with the sunghoon throwing up excuse. also unfortunately yuna's still around but she won't be as big a presence as she was in the first act 😩 but so true she's absolutely a product of her upbringing but that doesn't excuse how she acts out with her friends :// like enough!!! HAHAH thankfully yuna's so pretty and makes me short circuit to the point that whenever i see her pictures online my only thoughts are Omg she's so pretty 😭😭

omg no you're totally good i love reading + replying 🧎‍♀️ also thank you for reading my story !! it makes me so glad to hear that you're enjoying the plot so far <3

[raaorqtpbpdy]

In the Zone (3)

Based on the Phic Phight prompts: Danny and co. go sight seeing in the zone and get lost. Maybe they have to navigate weird ghost logic/physics/laws to make their way home (from @ventisettestars). And Sam and Tucker maybe getting Pharaoh + plant powers? ecto contamination for the win ig (from @corvidspectre).

Chapter 3: The Metropolitan Realm

AO3 Link

[no applicable warnings]

The Ghost Zone didn't have mornings or evenings, or even days and nights, but the teens all woke up around the same time. Danny and Tucker snacked on beef jerky for breakfast while Sam munched on some mixed nuts for a protein boost. You know, road trip snacks.

"Yesterday was a mixed bag," Tucker commented with his mouth full, "but there's gonna be much cooler stuff coming along today. I'm sure of it. Like, I feel weirdly confident about this."

"You mean like a massive ghost city?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, sure, or a video game realm, or a wizard tower or something? You never know."

"No, look!" she pointed out the window. "A massive ghost city! Danny do you see it?"

"Adjusting course!" Danny said. He got up and sat in the driver's seat, flipping switches to shift into gear and taking them down toward the glowing green and purple skyscrapers in the distance.

"Woah!" Tucker said, finally catching sight of the city. "That looks kinda... modern, for the Ghost Zone, doesn't it?"

"It doesn't really fit the whole aesthetic," Sam agreed. "It's too sleek and... almost normal looking. Why is something like that in the Ghost Zone, dimension of the weird and slimy?"

"Is that a monorail?" Danny asked as they got closer.

He parked the Specter Speeder on the street. There was no one around, it seemed like. Tucker walked over to an abandoned hot dog cart, thinking he could steal some grub, but once he was standing where the line would be a ghost appeared on the vendor's side.

"What can I get for ya?" he asked.

"Two dogs with ketchup and mustard," Tucker said.

"Do you have veggie-dogs, and are they cooked in the same greasy water as the regular dogs?" Sam asked.

"I do, and they're not," the vendor promised. "I also got ecto-dogs."

"Ooh! I'll have one of those, please!" Danny said. The vendor nodded as they finished ordering and gave them their food, handing Danny his last. Since it was the Ghost Zone, where there was no money, he didn't charge. Ghosts held down jobs because they loved doing them, unlike people.

"Make sure you eat it before it eats you, eh?" Danny laughed and took a bite.

"Mm, even better than Mom makes." His friends looked at him with matching disgust. "What?" he asked, smiling internally. Ever since Danny had given them a common enemy regarding whose diet was right and whose was wrong, they hardly ever argued about the pros and cons of meat versus veggies. At least their food wasn't glowing. Once they left the line, the vendor disappeared again.

"Wait I just thought of something," Tucker said, finishing his second hot-dog before the other two were halfway done with their first. He walked back over to the cart, and the vendor appeared again.

"Back for more already?" he asked, then chuckled heartily.

"Actually, my friends and I are tourists, and I was wondering if you knew of any cool places for us to see while we're here?"

"Oh, sure!" the vendor said. "You're gonna wanna take the monorail to the boardwalk for sure! The best shopping is on Third Avenue, just past Wail Street. Oh, and if you can get a reservation, there's this great club on top of the Metropolitan Building, that's the highest skyscraper in the city. It's got great food, great music, and great views of the Zone, and it rotates, too, so you can see everything."

"Sounds awesome!" Tucker said. "I guess that's our day planned. And hey, where is everybody?"

"Oh, it's generally considered impolite to be visible in public places if you can help it, to preserve the city's picturesque quality, but since you three can't help it, I don't think anyone'll call you on it," the vendor said. "Mostly, they'll do what I did and show themselves when you talk to them. It ain't you're fault you're alive."

"Uh... thanks," Tucker said, then shook off the strange comment and smiled. "Thanks a lot!"

"No problem!"

The vendor vanished again as Tucker walked away to relay the information to his friends. They grabbed the things they might need out of the speeder, made a note of where it was parked, Danny activated its cloaking, since apparently being visible was rude, and they headed up to the nearest monorail station.

The monorail moved super fast, and Danny poked his head out the window to see how it worked. It seemed to be using ghost levitation to follow the tracks without touching them so the friction didn't slow it down. "That's so cool!" Danny said, making a mental note to try and replicate the phenomenon for some of his experiments back home.

The carnival at the boardwalk wasn't really anything they couldn't get at home, except that the Ghost Zone physics made the rides even more nausea inducing, to their credit. The carnival food was also as deliciously greasy and unhealthy as it ever was. Occasionally, ghosts would turn visible to talk to them, ask them if they were having fun, and what they were doing there, and say how they'd never seen a living person in the Zone before.

They asked some of the other locals about cool things in the city and Sam got so enthusiastic when she heard about the botanical gardens that they had to make it their next stop. Tucker and Danny didn't really understand her excitement, but every plant she went to see brightened at her presence, to the point where one of the employees made herself visible to compliment Sam on how attuned she was with nature. Danny gave he a smug smirk when the employee disappeared again.

"I don't have plant powers," Sam told him, despite the obvious way the flora reacted to her presence. "Stop being ridiculous."

After the botanical garden, they got directions to the Metropolitan Building. In the end, they didn't really need them, since it was about a hundred feet taller than any other building in the city and the only one with a huge, round disc on the top. The Metropolitan building, as it turned out, was mostly a tourist destination. It's many floors made up a combined hotel and shopping center, with the Metropolitan Club on top.

"Remember, we might not be able to get in," Tucker said as the elevator bypassed the shopping center to the club at the top. "We didn't know how to make a reservation, so don't get your hopes up." The doors dinged and opened on the top floor.

"Hi!" Danny said, and the host turned visible for them. "We didn't know how to make a reservation, but we were wondering if you might have room for the three of us tonight?"

"As it happens, we had a cancellation for a party of four earlier," the host said. "May I take your names?"

Danny started to answer but Sam cut him off. "You may not, please list us as Sam, Tuck, and Danny."

"Clever girl," the host said, writing down the names. "It's always smart to stay on your toes around here, especially while you still draw breath. Go on in, all three of you. Enjoy the Metropolitan Club." 

The club was fun, and just like the vendor from earlier had said, it had a breathtaking view. Danny convinced his friends to do ectoplasm shots, just to try it, and laughed when they took them and gagged.

"Eugh, Danny how can you eat that stuff?" Tucker demanded. "It's... so gross... so bitter."

"It tastes like how wet socks feel," Sam moaned. "I'm never doing that again as long as I live. I can't believe I let you talk me into that."

Danny took another shot from a passing tray, no-doubt being carried by an invisible waitress, and downed it in one gulp. "Ah, refreshing," he said, grinning at the revulsion on his friends' faces.

Once they recovered from the shots, they decided to dance.

"I gotta say, I really like ghost music," Sam said. "I wonder if I can buy a couple albums around here somewhere."

"We should check out the shopping center downstairs when we're done here," Danny suggested. "They've probably got lots of cool stuff, and there's no money or scarcity here, so everything's free."

"Good idea!" Tucker agreed. "We should totally pick up some souvenirs from this place! It rocks!"

They spent a few hours up at the club, enjoying the view, and the food, and the atmosphere, before heading down for souvenirs. Sam picked up some CDs and a ghostly portable CD played, just in case a normal CD player would get fried or something trying to play ghost music. Tucker got himself a Metropolitan Club souvenir T-shirt, and Danny got a key-chain for the keys to the Specter Speeder.

Finally, the three of them got tired enough to head back to the speeder. Danny pulled out the key to deactivate the cloaking. Nothing happened, not even a sound to indicate the car was there when Danny tried to unlock it. This was definitely the right place. It was the right intersection of streets, next to the right building, with the hot dog cart across the street. The speeder should be there.

"Did we get carjacked?" Danny said, frantically waving the key around and clicking buttons at random, hoping to hear the familiar chirping of the speeder. "It's gone!"

Tucker walked over to the cart, and the vendor appeared again.

"Good to see you again, you hungry?" the vendor asked.

"Actually, we just ate at the club you recommended, and it was great, so thanks, but it seems like our vehicle was stolen at some point while we were seeing the sights. I don't suppose you saw who took it?" 

"Oh, I'm afraid not," the vendor told him. "That's the side effect of most things being invisible. There are never any witnesses."

"Thanks anyway," Tucker said, then headed back to his friends, uselessly feeling around for the stolen speeder. "Give it up, guys. Were stranded in the Ghost Zone with no transportation, and no idea how to get home."

"We'll find a solution," Danny said determinedly. Sam nodded, stifling a yawn. "For now, lets head back to the metropolitan building and get some rest. We'll come back tomorrow and attack the problem again with a clear head."

"Shouldn't we call the cops?" Sam asked. "The ghost cops?"

"You think ghost police will be any less corrupt and useless than human police? Tucker retorted with a scoff. "Ghosts with jobs do them out of love for the job, remember, not a sense of duty to the community. If anything, ghost cops will be worse than human cops."

"He's got a point," Danny agreed. "Just think about Walker's goons. They weren't exactly paragons of protect and serve." He began to walk back down the street. "Come on."

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[lokisprettygirl]

Hit me Baby, One more Time (Wrestler Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 25 here

Chapter 26

Summary : Those skeletons in his closet, they're coming out more and more everyday. Wrestler loki is turning out to be hell lot different than you expected him to be.

Warning : 18+, Some steamy situations, dirty talking, degradation kink, daddy kink, daddy dom loki, I suck at date ideas (forgive me)

"Hello Daddy"

Loki cringed at the use of the term, the words that made the blood rush towards his cock once, made him want to hide from her now "You lost the right to call me that when you pulled that stunt on me" he glared at her.

"Dadddy" He found his sub Sandra waiting for him, all naked on bedroom door of the apartment he gave her to stay while they were together. She was on her knees, thighs close together, her Auburn hair pulled up in a ponytail

"You treat me so well sometimes darling" he mumbled as he walked towards her, he just got back from a meeting regarding his contract with WWE federation, and his current toy seemed all warm and wet, ready to be played with.

"You like it when I'm all prepared for you daddy" he petted her head and he lifted her chin up to look at him. She was a nasty little thing most of the times, ready to do whatever he desired "I love it darling, show me a good time now and I'll reward you" she quickly unbuttoned his jeans and took him inside her mouth, his hands grabbed her ponytail and he used it as a leverage to fuck into her mouth. 

Took him several minutes, and by the time he was done, she was drowning in her own droolings "Daddy oh daddy, I love your cum so much" 

"Filthy whore, clean me up" she cleaned him up as well as she could and then he picked her up effortlessly to fuck her against the wall "Dadddy?" She mumbled between his thrusts and he looked at her "Can I get two grand? I need to buy a dress, you'd love it" she mumbled and he snickered as he stopped for a few seconds.

 "Yes darling, now keep your greedy mouth shut until I'm done with you alright?" 

"Yes daddy please, I'm sorry" he made her cum twice right against the wall and then he came inside her. He put her on pills when they got into the agreement. And he made sure he was always clean. He took care of the well being of his subs as long as they didn't involve futile emotions. But then right in the very next moment she had to ruin it.

"Fuckk fuck I love you daddy I love you so much" she mumbled and he knew he had to end this now. So he did. But she didn't take it like he expected.

"Stop yelling at me, you knew the deal, we talked about this" he raised his voice but she wasn't listening to him at all, she grabbed him by the collar and she hugged him, she tried to kiss him but he pushed her away "Stop Sandra, just stop okay" she teared up and for a second he felt bad about it, she was a good sub, she was definitely in it for the money he spent on her but she fulfilled his sick needs. They both were getting what they wanted.

Previously whenever his subs would cross a line he would cut them off quickly and they had enough self respect to not chase after a man who'd never return their feelings but Sandra wasn't like that. She was obsessed in a creepy way.

When he cut all ties with her, she started to stalk him, she broke into his place once and he had enough of her.

"Loki baby, please don't leave me, I'm pregnant with your kid, baby please" he could see the baby bump and he did what he should have done way before it got to this.

He filed a restraining order against her to send her away for good. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked her as he walked towards the lobby, not even looking at her and she followed him "You know Charlie is 3 now, the restraining order expired a year ago, but I didn't want to annoy you, so I stayed away, it must be fate that brought me here today" he snickered as he heard her lies.

"Fate? Really? You're trying to tell me that you didn't follow me here on purpose?" She teared up as he said that, and he rolled his eyes.  

"Go away before I get the law enforcement involved again" he told her and she got visibly upset by the tone of his voice.

You walked in the lobby once you got ready and you saw him chatting up with a woman, always surrounded by women.

"You're the worst man to ever exist, not only you left a woman when she was pregnant with your kid-" 

"You have a kid?" He looked at you as he heard your voice, the dark green dress you wore looked so gorgeous on you. You looked at the woman yelling at him, honestly you wouldn't even be surprised if he had not one but several kids in every corner of the world.

"Who is she?" Sandra asked him and he facepalmed "It's none of your business san-" she walked towards you and she crossed her arms as she looked at you. She was a little taller than you but not by much "Oh you must be his new plaything? Beware, he'll get you pregnant and then ditch you to fend for yourself" Loki rolled his eyes and he walked towards you, he didn't trust her to not do something impulsive.

"Mark my words dear, woman to woman, you don't want him to ruin your life do you? Tell me did he fuck you without a condom?" You were so perplexed by her strange behaviour that you didn't answer her so she continued to speak "That's what he does, that's what he did to me, and when I got pregnant, not only did he leave me but also used his powers and connections to file a restraining order against me" 

She cried and you had absolutely no idea what you should have done in the moment, so you walked out as you looked at him. Skeletons in his closet, too many skeletons.

You got inside the elevator and he followed you quickly. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked you as he backed you against the back wall of the elevator and you teared up. You felt overwhelmed by whatever you saw just now. You didn't want to judge him just yet but old habits die hard.

"Going back to my room" he chuckled as he heard you. When you reached your floor you got out quickly and he followed you again, he got inside your room along with you, and he had enough of you running away so he grabbed your arms and picked you up to press you against the door "Stop running for norns sake" he glared at you and you looked down.

"What was all that about?" You asked him meekly as you teared up and he kissed your forehead, he didn't want to scare you like that "She was my sub, things got messy with her, I have mentioned this before" He did, but you didn't think it got this messy when he told you that.

"You have a kid?" You asked him and he sighed. What if you get pregnant and he ditches you? That was the only thought running in your head right now "Nooo" he said in a stern tone as he wrapped your legs around his waist. Too close, he's too close, the rational part of your brain started to feel hazy again.

"So she was lying?" You asked him and he kissed your cheek "Do you trust me?" He asked you and you nodded your head even though you weren't not sure in the moment

"Then trust me birdy, I am not lying to you" you wrapped your arms around his neck, and you hugged him like that, bad move because now you wanted to kiss him and then you wanted him to take you against the door. The dirty thoughts filled your head pretty quickly after that.

"Take me on that date please, I'm sorry for running again" you whispered softly, maybe you need to start judging him less especially after the things he has told you about his past.

He put you down and he calmed his breathing down as well, he needed to keep her away from him and you, she is unstable and she saw him following you like that. 

When you both walked down hand in hand, she was nowhere to be seen so he quickly took you out of the hotel. He opened the door of the passenger side like a gentleman and you smiled at the chivalrous gesture "Don't think I got the chance to say it, but you're very pretty birdy" he didn't say that you looked pretty, he told you that you're pretty as a matter of fact.

"Thank you, you are too" he looked at you then he smiled a little "Where are we going?" You asked him and he chuckled "Ever been to Disneyland?" He asked you and you shook your head "It's your lucky day then" 

He did take you to Disneyland, half an hour drive from the city which you didn't mind at all. Watching him drive felt therapeutic for some reason. The way he seemed so focused on the road but then he would glance at you once in a while, always a smile on his face whenever he did.

You enjoyed it more than you think you would when he proposed the offer, you enjoyed the theme park the most, after that he took you to dinner as you were starving, he took you on a date like this before right after he met you but it wasn't a Date date. This was an official Date date. Throughout the day he maintained his distance, didn't try to touch you excessively but he held your hand whenever he could, wrapped his arms around your shoulder protectively, glared at guys who looked at you for more than a few seconds.

After your date ended, he dropped you to your hotel, he wanted to put you somewhere safer and better but he knew you won't take the free favor, he was at his best behaviour throughout the day, he didn't want to make you uncomfortable,

When he dropped you back to your hotel, you asked him if he wanted to go to your room for a cup of coffee or something. A flimsy excuse but you didn't know what else to say. So he interlaced his fingers with yours as he walked you towards your floor and when you reached your room you couldn't wait anymore.

You had to kiss him at least, those lips kept taunting you throughout the day, they kept inviting you, you had to get a taste of him.

As soon as you got in, you tiptoed and the heels you wore helped you reach him, he didn't allow you to strain your calves for long as he picked you up and laid you down on the bed. Then he took his jacket off and then he leaned into you again

"I wanted you to do this since I got here, Little thing " he mumbled and you wrapped your legs around him, you felt his tongue licking yours and then he sucked on it, you tasted like the ice cream you two just had before you got here and he wanted more. He has never felt this way about anyone, he didn't even know if he was capable of having intense feelings as such but here he was. 

"Ohh Lokiii" you moaned into his mouth, the delicious cry of his name from your lips fueling his desires even more so, he craves you more than anything in the moment. He felt your hips bucking into his crotch, his cock swelling up with each thrust. He wanted you for sure, but more than that He Needed you.

He sucked on your neck and you pulled the hair tie out, his silky tresses fell all over you, covering you. You felt safe with him, Protected. Even though he ripped your heart out before, you were inclined more towards trusting him rather than not doing it, but you have to have control, you need to keep him on his toes, though he would be impossible to reach if he does so.

He rode your dress up and his fingers trailed over your thighs, then he placed his arms underneath your hips to pull you even closer "You need me little thing, don't you?" He whispered in your ear and yes you need him, you want to give in, you don't want to resist. You want him to take you however he desires, you want his cock touching that sweet nerve inside you..but you also want him to work for it. You truly did but your own will power failed you.

"Yesss daddy yess I need you, you make me so weak, so out of control" you whimpered as you teared up. And maybe, just maybe your feelings are as intense as his, maybe he's not deluding himself. Maybe he's not making a fool of himself.

"Fuck darling, you make it so hard for me to control myself around you" His voice so soft, almost trembling, did you make him sound like that? You still doubted your ability to do so, how's it possible that he never felt like this with anyone else before? You're nothing special.

 "Is it true? Or you just like making me happy by lying" he looked at you as he heard you. Such a pretty girl, but such foolish insecurities, and he wanted to get rid of them all. Slowly and intimately.

"I do enjoy making you smile, but I won't lie to you about how much I want you, I thought about your warm succulent cunt wrapped around me everytime I fucked someone else, you have plagued my thoughts ever since I met you" you placed your fingertips over his lips again, you did it everytime he made you flushed with his words. He found it adorable but it also made him want to fuck you into oblivion.

"And you still left me" you whispered and he smiled as he kissed on your fingertips and then he placed both of your arms up over your head as he bucked his hips into your heat "I did, and I fully intend to make up for it my darling girl" he whispered as he sucked a mark on your neck.

You felt lightheaded, all you wanted to do was get submerged in his taste and touch, and the sweet intoxicating smell of his skin, the lips that whispered sinful words in your ears. Your self control crumbled with every flaming touch of his lips on your skin, then they met yours and that could have been your undoing. You had to stop him. No you had to make him stop you.

"Loki babyy please make me stop you please" he looked at you as he heard your whiny pleading voice, your eyes closed, you seemed so far gone into him "Look at me" he commanded sternly and you opened your eyes quickly.

"Want me to tell you that you have to stop being so wanton and willing underneath me?" He asked you and you nodded your head quickly, Innocent little creature "Fuckk birdy, you're so struck by me that you can't even stop yourself huh? Want to play hard to get but you're crumbling down with my touch, have no self control now do you?"

He whispered and you shook your head frantically, he was going to humiliate you and you wanted him to go further.

"You're my whore aren't you? just a whore for daddy's cock" You moaned filthily and loudly as you heard him.

He can be sweet with you and he can be filthy, he was your dirtiest dream come alive.

"Yess daddy please oh please" you mumbled incoherently, before the tear that fell from the corner of your eyes could reach your temples, he wiped it away with a flick of his thumb

"You look truly pathetic sweet whore, admit it and I might just show you mercy" he whispered and you felt his fingers trailing over your soaked panties, the whine that escaped your lips would keep him up all night long

"Admit whatt..I .. just" you mumbled and he leaned down to kiss your forehead and then he fisted your hair and gave it a tug "So fucking mindless, Admit that you're my pilant little whore, not that I need an admission but it's fun to break you down like this sweetheart" 

How can he subjugate you like this, call you names you couldn't even have imagined that you'd ever allow a man to call you and still make you gush like this? 

"Daddyy" 

"Yess babygirl, say it, you know you are, you know that's what you want to be, you want to be my obedient whore right?" He whispered as he continued to rub his thumb over your clit. His other hand caressed your head softly.

"Mmm yes please, I'm your whore daddy, I'm your dirty little whore" you mumbled meekly and you heard him muttering a curse under his breath and then he leaned down to kiss you again, his fingers didn't rub against your covered soaked heat anymore, he brought them up to cup your cheeks instead "Such a good girl, the best ever" he whispered softly between the kiss and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"Stop me lokiii please" you mumbled and he got up on his knees, with your arms wrapped around his neck you tried to get up too and kiss him but he placed his index finger on your lips. You have zero control over yourself, the kind of power he held over you felt insurmountable to him, but the need to protect your innocence overcame it. He would never use you like that. He won't hurt you again.

"Control yourself Little thing, okay? Be good for me" he scolded you as if you were a petulant child and then he wrapped his arms around you, he placed his head down on your shoulder and then he kissed your neck before he got up from the bed.

You calmed your breathing down as he looked at you so intensely. Once the arousal subsided, the humiliation creeped in but you didn't feel embarrassed by it, you felt liberated instead.

"Stay please, have that coffee I asked you to come up here for?" And cuddle maybe? You asked him and he nodded his head, you got off the bed and then you hugged him tightly.

"Thank you" you whispered softly and he almost teared up at the gesture. He didn't know why but he felt overwhelmed with this kind of intimacy, it didn't feel sexual but emotional,it felt romantic and loving. When the last time he felt that way, he left you and hurt you both. This time he wanted to stay by your side.

"Can I ask you something?" You asked him and He looked at you as you put your head up and he nodded his head again.

"I uhh, if I ever get pregnant, would you..what would you do? Or expect me to do, in that situation?" You asked him and he smiled as he teared up slightly

"I would be hurt darling, so hurt, especially if we are doing the whole monogamy thing" he mumbled and you looked at him confused.

"No I meant with your baby, if I ever get pregnant with your baby" you clarified your question and he tilted his head then he sighed. He didn't want to do this today.

"You can't do that" 

"Why" 

"Because I can't impregnate you, or become a father. Got myself sterilized when I was 21" 

Skeletons in the closet. Too many Skeletons.

➖➖➖➖➖➖💚💚💚💚➖➖➖➖

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@christineblood @vllowe

[pack-the-pack]

My (likely) unpopular opnions on Mo Dao Zu Shi.

So I finished the novel, and I'll be only talking about the novel and the novel alone, not taking into consideration any of the other iterations, simply because I didn't finish any of them. This is also just my opinion and because I can't keep my thoughts to myself, so try to not take it too seriously.

!ALSO HAS SPOILERS!

1- Jin Guangyao is my favourite and I love him, I don't care what anyone has to say. I believe almost everything he said in the Guanyin temple, maybe aside from whether his child was conceived before or after he married Qin Su. But I'm inclined to believe him on that too rather than to doubt, because he really didn't seem like he liked causing harm unless he saw it as strictly necessary.

2- That said, that's mostly just going by the book. Idk how canon we're supposed to take the extras to be, but if they're indeed meant to be canon, the extra by the name of "Villainous Friend" kind of makes my love for him waver a bit. But I understand his position, he was ordered by his dad, so refusing or leaving the job half done would probably be bad for him. But dude... He could have spared some mercy for the children (but maybe that'd be a bad idea, having living proof that a grudge fuels insanity and bloodlust sitting right beside him in the form of Xue Yang. So he probably did it as insurance).

3- I still love him tho. And I still love XiYao and want a lot of fix-it fics now :((

4- Jin Guanshan died the death he deserved and A-Yao was 100% right to do it. Everyone that was like "but he was your father" in the novel can go suck a dick cause it's easy judging when you're not in his position. That goes for everything he does actually.

5- I was a bit confused about Xue Yang's end? Like did he die or not? Cause it seemed like he just lost his arm and was a bit hurt and then was swept away. If he didn't die what happened to him? We never get a follow up on that. Did I read it wrong or did he really just got yeeted out of the story never to be seen again? Idk seemed a bit weird.

5.5- I also love Yi City arc, but it makes me a bit confused on what was the point of it? It seems like it could have been skipped entirely and not much would have changed.

6- I'm not entirely sure that Wei Wuxian was actually gay or even bi for LWJ in his first life. You can boo me all you want, but I don't think there's enough information to draw a conclusion here. He could have just been really determined to bother Lan Wangji and make friends with him just because he posed a challenge, given he got rejected all the time. It wasn't really too different from his behaviour with MianMian. Just saying, reincarnation could have very well made him sort of gay, or well gayER.

7- Zizhen didn't have enough scenes, he should have appeared more and have been on those night hunts in the extras.

8- Talking about the juniors, I know a lot of people ship Jin Ling with Sizhui, and a lot of people ship Sizhui and Jinyi, and then Jinyi with Jin Ling. I say we forgo that and just throw my boy Zizhen in the mix and make them all date together. A couple of four. This way everyone gets 3 cute boyfriends. No need to choose.

9- Some of y'all be acting like the incense burner chapters killed your dog and shot your parents. Chill out. They're intense and not everyone's cup of tea, but in their essence there's nothing really wrong with them. It's clearly just two married people who trust each other pushing the bounds of their fantasies and kinks IN THEIR FUCKING DREAMS! And it isn't like they aren't both into what they're doing. Wei Wuxian is more than enthusiastic. There is like one little mishap that happens at the end of the last chapter, a matter of miscommunication and kink-negotiation mishandling, but it's solved right after it happens! Calling it true non-con is a stretch and a bit unforgiving don't you think?

10- I still don't get why Yanli was at Nightless City. She had abstained from pretty much being part of anything like that the whole book. Why all of a sudden go to Nightless City? What could she have done there? Seems a bit convenient.

11- Talking about convenient, what was that throw away line on the explanation of how Wei Wuxian started cultivating the demonic path? He just found a book???? Conveniently like that? No further explanation needed? What?

12- Nie Minjue was a self-righteous hypocritical asshole.

13- Nie Huaisang is not that much better than Jin Guangyao. He used people and did terrible things, even willing to sacrifice teenagers, just to achieve his goal.

14- There is no justice in this book. Not really. Everyone does selfish things (maybe aside from Lan Xichen, the saint) to achieve their own goals and always think themselves to be justified in their actions. To only see Jin Guangyao's crimes as bad is to ignore that everyone did bad, selfish, detrimental things. The people that got a happy ending or a bad ending didn't get them because they deserved it or due to justice. They just got it. Like Xue Yang says "there's no why, sometimes things just happen".

15- Chengmei is far too cute of a name for Xue Yang.

16- Everyone shits on Jin Guangyao, but he was legitimately a good chief cultivator. While the sects generally saw themselves as above helping on insignificant matters, he went and made projects to help the common people. He also worked hard to maintain his sect in line with an ideal of nobleness and discipline as shown by how Jin Ling says in the extras that when he was sect leader no one would be so quick to take a bribe.

17- A-Yao was ambitious, clever, hard working and yes he did love people too. He's not just bad. He had all the odds stacked against him, and even so, at least momentarily, he overcame all of it. Whether his means were justified or not is another story entirely.

18- Wei Wuxian wasn't really a great caretaker of A-Yuan. He was kind of mean and careless. He obviously didn't do it with ill intention, but he's just not the best baby sitter.

19- I don't hate Jiang Cheng for his mean remarks and hatred for Wei Wuxian and his relationship with Lan Wangji. He's just kind of stupid and emotionally constipated. He's not bad, he's just a bit ignorant. And you have to remember that these are their society's norms. He's acting in line with what he was taught.

20- Wen Qing had such a minor role in the story overall. She should have been used more.

21- Wei Wuxian is many times kind of mean to Wen Ning even tho he's so selfless and doing everything he can to protect and respect him. I don't mean it all the time, but he could be kinder to him. Wen Ning in general always gets the short end of the stick and the worse treatment undeservedly.

22- Gusu Lan could have held a little secret cerimony to officially marry wangxian and officially accepted them as cultivation partners. It would have been specially meaningful because Lan Qiren would have sort of being communicating that his Nephew's happiness holds more value to him than his hatred for Wei Wuxian and the upkeeping of sect rules and appearances. I know it's unrealistic but man it would've been nice to see.

That's it. And yea I know this is mostly me just trying to defend my A-Yao, but I regret nothing. Y'all can throw stones and boo, be my guest. This is just my opinion anyway, so you don't have to take it seriously or give a crap about it.

[wisterialagoon]

For you, I'll Stay : Pt.2

Dabi is one of the top soldiers of the League of Villains. He does the dirty work and feels the stain of crime on his hands. You're an Assistant Inspector at the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency, resigned to records-keeping instead of doing actual fieldwork. What happens when these two become intertwined in the most prominent political event that changed the era of 1990's Tokyo Japan?

Warnings: Violence (a girl gets beat up in this chapter), gangs, eventual smut(not in this chapter tho)

Btw, in this dabi doesn't have any scars on his face!

Azabu Gardens,

Moto-Azabu 3-7-5 Minato-ku, Tokyo 106-0046.

January 9, 1990, Tuesday.

The League

20:00 hours

The first rays of the morning began to creep into the premises of their mansion, illuminating the entirety of their eight-hectare complex. The lawn had been freshly mowed and the foyer had been polished to sparkling clean, as per the orders of their leader. It had been his first order of business during the general assembly with the entire brotherhood.

The soldiers were understandably taken aback at hearing him rattle off a list of things to do which were, in essence, house chores. From checking the car engines, laundering their clothes, and stocking up on groceries, the loyal members followed everything down to the very last detail, albeit with a little curiosity as to why they were doing this when they were supposed to be preparing for a major operation set later in the day.

Meanwhile the boss carried out everything as if it was business as usual. They had convened at their usual 10:00 am meeting at the solarium, exchanging data and intel regarding any updates on their framework's current phase. After making sure that everything was in order–from the time it would take to execute the operation to the time it would take for the police to arrive on scene, they called it a day and retired to their own rooms.

That was this morning.

Preparations were over and it was almost nearing midnight–time to start the show.

Everyone had gotten dressed in the same all-black attire, distinguished only by the formality of their suit and quality of the fabric. The leader had worn a two-piece suit, while the soldiers only had lightweight turtlenecks to pair with their slacks.

The cars were ready by the driveway, it's trunks loaded with a series of guns, masks and the deactivate system; and everyone had lined up at the foyer, at the foot of the grand staircase, awaiting the greeting and instructions of their boss.

"Good evening gentlemen," his voice didn't have that booming quality that most of his leaders had, but the clarity of his diction and richness of his timbre proved sufficient to command everyone's attention. He didn't need any of the pomp or fanfare that was usually associated with the league–his presence alone was enough.

There weren't many of them tonight, it was a small operation that needed only seven of their best men; even so, his under-boss, and the rest of his soldiers were waiting with bated breath at what he was about to say.

Finally standing by the newel post, he slowly slips on his leather gloves and begins to address their small unit.

"A rundown Kurogiri," he instructs his under-boss, with not so much as a glance spared his way.

"Today we initiate phase 2.1 of our framework," Kurogiri steps out of the line and proceeds to hand out a file on their operation and walkie-talkies to the soldiers. "Team A, Touya and Atsuhiro, will take care of the decoy. Team B, Himiko and Jin, will secure the target. Team C, Magne and Spinner, will deactivate the sensors and tip the police," he finishes, working his way back to his position beside their leader.

Tomura looks at him with a quirked eyebrow, expectant.

Kurogiri clears his throat. "Phase 2.2 of the framework will begin immediately after."

6 Chome-10-1 Roppongi, Minato City, Tokyo 106-6108, Japan.

The Takahashi Residence.

21:30 hrs.

As soon as Kurogiri parked the car in an empty lot two blocks from the site, he turned on their linked communication system and radioed to their leader that they were ready.

"Masks and Positions," Tomura instructed."Remember, one slip up will cost the entire operation."

Save for the thrumming of the engine, their leaders voice was the only thing that had cut through the nights silence.

"Yep, Tomura everyone is positioned," Kurogiri confirms, and signals to Team A that they were good to go.

As soon as they were given the signal, Touya and Atsuhiro make their way to the site, with the latter updating Tomura about their position. "Currently making my way into the Takahashi Residence along with Touya."

As they stopped to confirm that it was indeed the residence of the Minister of National Defence, their leader warns, "Keep an eye out for the security Atsuhiro," both soldiers nod their assent, replying that they located a blind spot in the houses security system and private guards.

After signalling Team B to follow, Kurogiri had set up operations control with Magne and Spinner. Just as they had gotten access into the house's security system, Tomura radios, "Kurogiri, do you copy?"

"Yes, I copy," the under-boss replies, holding the walkie-talkie in one hand and the other sifting through the nights operation file.

"Do you have a visual on the Minister and his wife?" Tomura  asks.

"Yes," he turns around to look at Magne and Spinners surveillance feed, which was focused on the master bedroom.

"They're currently separated from the decoy."

"Good." Tomura  affirms. "Magne, when Atsuhiro, Touya, Jin and Himiko are in place you'll override the security system, understand?"

"Understood!" the soldier nods while simultaneously preparing all the codes needed to deactivate the system.

"Once Touya and Atsuhiro take care of the decoy, that's when Himiko and Jin will go and search for the target," Tomura reminds, looking over at his copy of the operation file as well.

"Spinner, monitor all frequencies from a two-kilometre radius of the site. If anyone reports anything before we do then I want to hear it. If anyone is even in the middle of dialling a government or police number, I want to be the first to know, understood?"

"Gotcha boss," Spinner confirms. "The hacking system is ready to go, all lines within a two-kilometre radius is tapped as well."

21:42 hours.

After a preliminary entry into the estate, the four soldiers settle in their own entry points and radio back. "Spinner, we're in place, you can drop the security."

"Alright. You have a little over thirty minutes before the back-up security kicks in," the enthusiastic man programmes a few codes and counts backwards, "it's down in...5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

"Go." A deep voice follows, alerting the four soldiers on-site.

For a second, Team A and B thought it has been their leader who had addressed them, but immediately broke out into grins when the voice followed with, "Be careful in there guys."

''Don't worry, Kurogiri." Jin  assures, giving Himiko, Atsuhiro and Touya a thumbs up. "We've got this"

The four soldiers discreetly jump over the deactivated sensors and immediately break into action, disarming the guards and eventually knocking them unconscious by landing considerably hard blows to their neck, causing their head to snap to the side.

After slipping past the unconscious guards, Atsuhiro and Touya pry open one of the windows, climbing in quietly while Himiko and Jin wait outside.

Team A immediately proceeds to the target's room, bolting the maid's quarters from the outside after unfortunately having to knock her out as well.

The two check their copy of the house's floor plan, with Touya sending a glance to Atsuhiro before slowly opening the door into one of the mansion's bedrooms.

In the room sat 18-year old Takahashi Yua. with her back facing Atsuhiro and Touya slowly the boys made their way to her and in mere seconds Atsuhiro had his hands over Yua's mouth and held her in place.

The shocked girl could do nothing but try to thrash around and scream for help but Touya tied her hands and gagged her.

Touya then raised a fist, about to hit the girl before he was quickly stopped by Atsuhiro "Dabi, not here, let's take it outside. "

Nodding in agreement, Touya helped Atsuhiro drag the silently sobbing girl back outside from where they came from, leading to the back of the house and into the garage.

Seeing Touya and Atsuhiro leave with Yua allowed Himiko and Jin to make their way inside and find their operations primary objective, leaving Team A to deal with the girl.

"Compress, take off the gag," Touya instructed, to which Atsuhiro nodded and quickly removed the bundle of cloth that had been choking the girl.

As soon as it had been done, Touya struck her across the cheek with a force that pushed her backwards. It was a strong enough blow to leave an angry bruise but not enough to knock her out completely.

After taking stock of her figure-from her laboured breathing to her split lower lip, he delivers a few more punches to her torso and a last strike across her face. All the while, Atsuhiro hands had snaked around her arms. keeping her in place.

Finally, Touya pulled out a handkerchief that had been previously doused in ether.

He pressed it firmly to her mouth and nose. forcing her to inhale the substance which quickly knocked her out.

"Hey, you guys done in here?" Himiko skipped into the parking lot, "We've got the stuff."

"Yeah," Touya pockets the handkerchief and watches as Yua unceremoniously slumps to the floor with a dull thud.

"We're done." he drags her body to the main entrance of the parking lot, ensuring that she would be the first thing to be seen by anyone coming through the garage's main door.

"You're too brutish Touya." Atsuhiro grimaces at the bruised girl crumpled in the corner.

"Whatever, someone make the signal, we're done here." Touya gets up to leave.

6 Chome-10-1 Roppongi, Minato City, Tokyo 106-6108, Japan.

The Takahashi Residence.

23:00 hrs.

"Magne. I got a call from the other guys." their leader radios from where he was keeping sentinel of the entire operation.

"They're all clear, make the call."

"Got it boss, making the call now."

Magne dials the number on a burner phone expecting the line to ring a couple of times before anyone answers, as expected, on the fifth ring, a woman's voice breaks through the radio silence.

"SMPA, what is your concern?" her voice was clear. but slightly unstable. when she doesn't give her a reply, she repeats her question, louder this time.

"Kidnapping" she says, evenly distributing the stress on each syllable to feign monotony. "23:00, 6 Chome-10-1 Roppongi, Minato City, Tokyo 106-6108, Japan. Takahashi Yua." Magne states calmly, while she hears rapid scribbling on the other end.

Here come the textbook reactions she thinks to herself, amused.

"who is this? Where is your intel from?" she asks, an undertone of panic lacing her voice. "Hello?" she follows up when Magne

doesn't reply—to which she settles for perching the receiver directly over his mouth to make sure it picks up her heavy breathing.

Magne waited a few moments before finally hanging up.

She radios to their leader. "Alright, the phone call is done the officer will be calling for backup soon."

After checking his watch, Tomura smirks at their record. "Keigo, you ready to receive that request for backup?" Tomura asks through his walkie-talkie.

"Yeah, on patrol near the area so I should be getting that on my frequency." he affirms, shifting to a more comfortable position on the drivers seat he had convinced his partner in advance to take a leave for their shift that night, so as to ensure that he would be able to carry out his part in the operation without any hiccups.

"I'll be first on the scene when the request for backup is made."

6 Chome-10-1 Roppongi, Minato City, Tokyo 106-6108, Japan.

The Takahashi Residence.

2:40 hours.

"Don't worry Ma'am, we'll find out who did this to your

daughter." Keigo assured the Ministers wife, pure concern flawlessly depicted in his facial expression. "We've done a preliminary search of the crime scene, we'll come back with updates as soon as we find anything conclusive."

"You had better catch that criminal, I want him in jail, my daughter is lying unconscious in a hospital!" she demands, hands coming up to cover her face as her body was enveloped in a series of sobs.

Keigo gave a curt nod and comforting pat to the woman's shoulder before turning around and getting back into his car to leave.

As he pulled out of the driveway, he immediately drove to a remote alley in the outskirts of the district, once he was assured that his location wouldn't be found, he made a call.

"Hello? Keigo?" their leader answered. ''What's your status?"

"Shigaraki, I just got back from the crime scene." he says, turning the police radio down and killing the car's engine.

"And?" their leader asks, undoubtedly expectant of his answer.

Keigo knew that his cover was especially pivotal for that night's operation—and that Tomura had made it clear with no uncertain terms that the success of this phase relied on his ability to herd the police where they wanted them to.

"The family doesn't suspect a thing They believe it was an attempted kidnapping" he says, waiting for their leader's response.

After a beat, their leader simply hums in affirmation and hangs up, It wasn't much—he knew that Tomura had always been a man of few words, but he also knew that he always meant whatever he said, with that in mind, he restarted the car and proceeded to drive back to their residence.

Azabu Gardens,

Moto-Azabu 3-7-5 Minato-ku, Tokyo 106-0046.

January 9, 1990, Tuesday.

The League

03:00 hours.

He had stopped at the driveway, feeling no need to actually park his car since he was sure he'd be back at the station soon enough. Besides, he needed to speak with their leader immediately.

He had successfully crossed the foyer and was about to go up

the stairs when a familiar voice calls out to him "Keigoo, you're back!" The youngest member of their group, Himiko, approaches him, grinning.

"How'd it go?"

"Went well." he shrugs off his coat, and hangs his police hat over the coat stand. "Only one problem though, can you go get Shigaraki? We need to have a group meeting"

After a few minutes, everyone who had worked on the operation had gathered at their usual dining hall, with each finding their own seat at the round table.

"Everything went well with the family." After everyone had settled in, Keigo began immediately, fingers interlaced over the single file folder resting in front of him.

"But one of my subordinates is a little too close for comfort." Keigo states, instantly gaining the others' attention.

"What's his name?" Shigaraki questioned.

"Actually, it's a woman." he opens the folder, and pulls out a headshot photo.

"Her name is Miyasaki Y/N, she's the Assistant Inspector."

"A woman cop?" Touya reached for the photo then let out a snort at the subtle smile and short haircut she sported.

"So there's no problem then?" he chuckled, throwing the photo across the table for the others to see, clearly uninterested.

"Shut up Touya, you could probably get your ass kicked by this girl." Himiko quipped, earning a sharp glare from the other boy.

"I swear to god you psycho bitch, I'm gonna—" he shifts in his seat, calling out the girl, knowing full well that the mean name would provoke her.

Just as he was about to continue to prove that no girl could possibly kick his ass, he's thoroughly cut off.

"stop bickering this is serious." Keigo interrupted. "Girl cop or not, she's a threat." he declares.

He looks at them one by one and rests a brief glance at Tomura, their leader nods at him to continue. Keigo sighs, aware that he has to set the context for the rest of the group.

He had been given this role by Tomura directly so not everyone knew just what he was doing at the station or just how important his role was in their whole framework.

"she wasn't supposed to be the one who would get the police tip."

Keigo expels a deep breath, screwing his eyes shut.

"It was supposed to be her direct senior, the only other female Inspector in the agency, she usually does overtime with Miyasaki, but she changed her schedule tonight. I don't know why." again, Keigo sighs. This time, he's slouched on the dining chair, gently massaging the bridge of his nose.

The silence that follows only aggravated his frustration with himself.

He had been counting on Usagiyama Rumi, the agency's female Inspector, who he had been assigned to follow for the past few weeks.

She had the same routine ever since he "started" at the agency—time in at 7:00 am, attend meetings and facilitate cold opens throughout the day, follow-up on interrogations or meet victim's relatives and finally, time-out at midnight.

He wasn't counting on this assistant Inspector, she was an outlier, he didn't pay much attention to her other than the times that they'd cross paths at the cafeteria or when they'd get things from their adjacent locker units. He was working in the patrol and public safety unit, she was busy with comms and records-keeping.

Nonetheless, he did know everyone's business in the agency—even if he wasn't exactly tailing each and every one of them.

He knows the case assignments, he knows who had called in late and he knows why and he even knows how their chief liked his coffee down to the number of espresso shots and percentage of sugar.

"This girl is relentless." He presses on. "I've observed her at the agency—she dedicates herself to everything she does, it's borderline obsessive, even if it is something small and unimportant" he adds the latter as an afterthought, suddenly aware of all those times she stayed overtime.

"I don't like the idea of someone like that sniffing around where we don't want them to."

On his own, he just concluded that she did overtime because she wanted to kiss ass—especially given the kind of rumours going on about her, but it only dawned on him now that perhaps she was more dedicated to the job than others painted her out to be.

"Keigo's right." Kurogiri chimed in. "We should do something about her."

Silence fell for a beat, until it stretched on for a few minutes.

Everyone had exchanged glances, they knew that after Kurogiri, their leader had to have the final say.

"I agree," finally Tomura declares.

He stands up and proceeds to stand by the French window, parting open the satin drapes.

"It's time for modifications before starting phase 2.2."

"Find out why Usagiyama broke her routine. Enlist the others' help on this if you need more hands on comms." Tomura spares a glance at Magne and Spinner, at which the two people reply with nods.

"As for this new player..." their leader trails off, returning back to look at their garden and the approaching dawn.

Expectant, Keigo awaits his next orders. "I want you to keep an eye on her at the station. make sure she stays out of the way, try and befriend her if anything, I need you to throw her off our scent, okay?"

"Got it." the undercover member nods, rising from his seat.

The others follow suit, but Tomura gives follow-up instructions that stops them where they stood.

"Kurogiri, take over my 10:00 today." he announces, immediately piquing everyone's interest "Take Himiko and Jin, you'll need the extra eyes for surveillance."

After the three echo their assent, Tomura clears them, including Keigo, to leave, He adds a few reminders for Magne and Spinner to follow-up on their contracts with their current suppliers, experts and other assets before finally dismissing the two of them as well as Atsuhiro.

singled out, Touya stands by the doorway, intrigued.

"Dabi," he calls Touya by his alias, turning around to face him he then closes the distance between the two of them within five quick strides.

"I want you to pay a visit to that poor girl, make sure she's on bed rest," his voice strong and amplified by the domed ceiling and marble flooring. Touya nods. "I'll see which hospital admitted her," and moves to leave the room.

Not missing a beat. Tomura places a hand over his shoulder just as he was in the process of doing an about-turn.

"I wasn't referring to Miss. Yua.