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meggie-moo · 1 year

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Why this thought still occupies my mind, what other hs fanfictions you'd recommend? You proved to have a very good taste

OKAY IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, but i wanted to make sure it was good!! :D and i had my thoughts sorted lol!! i would definitely recommend looking through the tws of each fic as well! :) but here it is >:)

(i mainly read for rosemary and davekat, but i throw in some other fun ones as well 🕺 i’m also new to homestuck, so i haven’t read that many yet. so most of these are the incredibly popular ones. which are very much popular for a reason!)

davekat:

How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure by Wertiyurae (finished)

synopsis: h retelling of the romcom, “how to lose a guy in ten days” karkat has to write an article about how to lose a guy in ten days, and dave has a bet that he can find a guy to take to his sisters wedding. very silly :)

thoughts: there’s so many moments where i was cringing SO HARD. but it’s such a fun time, especially if you like cheesy romcom retellings. like karkat trying desperately to lose dave is so funny 😭 (you will see later that i am a big fan of cheesy romcom stories, so i’m sorry LOL).

Nothingbound by bluberi (unfinished)

synopsis: a retelling of the romcom, “you’ve got mail” karkat is a local bookstore owner, and dave’s brother is a chain bookstore owner, and is moving in across the street. the only solace karkat seems to find is in his online friend, who is actually his enemy all along. angst ensues, drama, enemies to lovers, slowburn etc etc. :D

thoughts: speaking of romcom retellings… this one is unfinished, but the chapters there are so much fun. i adore the art that goes along with it. and just how silly, and angsty it can be. the dave and karkat are SPOT ON. and same with all the other characters. i especially enjoy rosemary, and the ones who work at karkats book store :)

Doc Scratch's School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical (finished)

synopsis: humanstuck superhero au. dave and his friends get a mysterious letter to attend a supernatural school.

thoughts: literally in my top three favorite homestuck fics of all time. this is so much more than just a davekat fic, like it’s a *whole* story. there’s also incredibly prominent rosemary, like they are not just shoved to the back. again it’s so thought out, and incredibly tropey. and all the characters are handled so well. it’s so incredibly fanfiction, but in the way where you can’t stop reading it. it’s popular for a reason, and very much deserves that popularity. i’m currently making my friend buddy read this with me <3

A Discussion On The Meteor (finished) (mspfa)

synopsis: short mspa story discussing karkats sexuality. i wanted to throw in a visual one for fun :)

thoughts: very sweet!!

Giving a Sweet Wretched Flying Fuck by strawberrystardust (oneshot)

synopsis: dave and karkat mix some sick beats on the meteor 🕺

thoughts: SO SO CUTE. i will recommend you try literally any fic by strawberrystardust, they are all incredibly, and they are such an amazing writer. please look into the tws for their other fics, but i literally cannot recommend them enough :)

rosemary:

YEAHHH, new couple time 🕺

Love Letters in Digital Ink by tactfulGnostalgic (finished)

synopsis: rose owns a popular occult blog, kanaya is a fan. kanayas family moves in next store, and rose posts about her.

thoughts:

TOP THREE HOMESTUCK FICS AGAIN. this one is SO SILLY, it captures everything about rosemary perfectly. the cringe fail of it all, the rose thinking she’s a therapist but instead just over sharing her family’s issues online. it’s so funny, and well written. and i say this as someone who HATES first person pov in fics. it is done incredibly well. like, this author manages to pull it all off. rose’s blog post are so funny, and it will have you smiling like a fool the whole time. this and doc scratch school, and house of dirk are definitely like fics id want you to read the most out of this list!! :)

Kiss Her You Fool by Paech (oneshot)

synopsis: rose tries to get kanaya to kiss her

thoughts: incredibly cute, i love them so so much. rose lalonde will forever be a mess, and i love that for her <3

courses of action, best and otherwise by MisPronounce_and_MisAccent (oneshot)

synopsis: rose is convinced she’s in a war with dave, of which one is “gayer” to win she fakes dates kanaya.

thoughts: ajdhajhshej, this one is so 😭😭 like vrisrezi is also there and they are all failing, they are all a mess. the synopsis makes it sound more serious, but they are in meteorstuck, and it’s just very very funny LOL

miscellaneous

this is for fics/other fanworks, that are either 1. a couple i haven’t read enough for them to have their own category, 2. stories focused around non-romance!!

if you’re looking into getting into some mspfas, i’d recommend these :) (though i haven’t finished them myself lol!!)

Act 8 (unfinished i’m pretty sure) (mspfa)

synopsis: basically a, “what if” different ending to homestuck. what if, instead of winning, they let their alpha selves win, and they had to stay in paradox space for the time loop? etc

thoughts: i have not finished it, but it’s honestly so well put together. it really gets you feeling bad for characters, like gamzee?? poor little guy etc. the art is amazing, and it really does just feel like a continuation of homestuck!!!

Karkat Goes to a Convention (unfinished?) (mspfa)

synopsis: just like the title says, LOL.

thoughts: i’m not sure if this story is really my jam, that being said, it’s put together WONDERFULLY. like it’s incredibly popular for a reason. you can tell so much work went into it, and just a really big love for homestuck and it’s community. while also being really creative :) (i also haven’t finished this one either, so maybe my thoughts could change!)

House of Dirk by imarriedacherub (unfinished) (visual!)

synopsis: sitcom of dirk and caliborns life as a married couple. and their son/son in law is coming over for dinner. shenanigans ensue

thoughts: OKAY, so i know this is the fic that prompted the ask, lol! which means i’ve already recommended it. but i decided to add it so i could post my thoughts! :D i did not have any feelings towards dirkuu when i first read this, but now whenever i see anything dirkuu i’m like, “omg…the sitcom couple…” ITS JUST SUCH A GOOD FIC. i keep overusing the word incredible in this post, but i will use it again. because this fic really is just *that good*. i made my friend voice act it out with me on call once, and it was very fun LOL. this is my final top 3 in my top three homestuck fics 🕺 again really popular, but popular for a reason. just so much thought went into it, and the execution was perfect.

Trying Something New by strawberrystardust (oneshot) (jaderezi)

synopsis: terezi and jade go on a picnic date! :)

thoughts: have i ever thought about shipping terezi, and jade before? admittedly, no. is this fic absolutely adorable?? yes, very much so!!! literally they both deserve the world, and it’s so cute to seem them interact with each other. again just a very very sweet fic :)

homestuck v2 (mspfa) (ongoing!)

synopsis: different new generation kids!! davekat fanchild comes in and messes up timelines.

thoughts: the art is so good!! i’m really looking forward to where the story goes, and i love the designs. davekat having a child named, “mary-su” is hilarious as it is genius. also babe coelho seems so beloved!!!

—————

i’m sorry this was so long!!! and maybe a tad bit ramble-ly, lol!!! but i hope you enjoy these, because imo they are all very good and fun (i mean i did recommend them, it would be funny if i didn’t think that LOL), like people are so talented and skilled. it’s honestly amazing. everyone who makes fanworks are truly outstanding :) thank you so much for the ask, and again i’m sorry it took so long to answer, but i wanted to be thorough >:)

#meg’s incoherent thoughts #🐌 🐈#homestuck #davekat #rosemary #jaderezi #long post #fic rec

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stars-tonight · 2 months

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hii!! could i request a long and romantic match up?? :)

i’m a girl and use she/her pronouns, i’d also prefer being paired with a boy

my ideal partner is someone who can make me laugh but can also be serious when he has to be, also a person who is very caring and thoughtful when it comes to me, and intelligent, and attentive. i’d also prefer a guy to be taller than me

i’m kinda tall (5’7) i have green eyes, long dyed black hair, and unfortunately i’ve been told i look mean/unapproachable. my go to outfit is baggy jeans and an off the shoulder top with doc martens and lots of jewelry :)

my hobbies are learning new songs on guitar (i freaking love music sm) writing, and collecting cute things (rn i’m collecting sonny angels)

my love language is gift giving and words of affirmation, the love language id want to receive is quality time hehe

my mbti is isfp (that’s all i know lol)

thank you for your time and sorry for writing so much!! :D

headcanons

🥛 daichi can definitely be serious when he needs to be

🥛 he's really mature but sometimes displays childish behavior too

🥛 he's also pretty smart

🥛 he'd just be such a caring and attentive partner

🥛 he's 5'9

🥛 doesn't know much about music but will always listen to you play guitar

🥛 he's not musically talented so he thinks it's really impressive that you can express emotions through music

🥛 also likes reading things you write

🥛 i don't think he's the biggest writer but admires your way with words

🥛 his giving love language is probably quality time or acts of service

🥛 since he doesn't have a lot of spare time on his hands

🥛 (this goes for both pre- and post-timeskip)

🥛 pre-timeskip, he's quite busy with the volleyball team, and he's especially busy in the show when he's a third year

🥛 post-timeskip, he's a police officer which is a pretty intense job and can take a lot of him physically and emotionally

🥛 but he'll always drop what he's doing to rush to your side

🥛 he'll give up his own free time to help you with something or to do something you love together

🥛 he'd put a lot of effort into planning dates

🥛 i see him as a formal date kinda guy (think restaurants)

🥛 he's usually the one encouraging others and giving praise, so he's not used to receiving praise

🥛 imo was an underrated and underappreciated member of the karasuno team

🥛 but whenever you praise him it'll probably startle him at first but then he'll be a big blushing mess

🥛 will probably clear his throat multiple times to get himself back on track

🥛 also he's not used to anyone giving him stuff

🥛 so if you pay attention and know what he likes, his heart will literally melt

🥛 he'd always notice when you start a new collection of things

🥛 would be sure to get you things that fit with your collection

🥛 doesn't really see the point in blind boxes--if there's a specific item you want that you just can't seem to get in blind boxes, he'll probably just go on amazon or ebay and buy it directly lol

🥛 it's not as big of a waste of money that way

runner up for you was semi eita!

A/N: there you go, i hope you like it! side note i have a friend who's also obsessed with sonny angels lol

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu headcanons #matchups #haikyu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #hq headcanons #haikyu x reader

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impalementation · 3 years

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spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 4

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

part 3: “Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

“But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self

Before I get into seasons six and seven, it’s worth asking: why would the show do all of this? Why would it spend all of this time developing a supporting villain and joke id character? Why would it give him a romantic arc? I see people say that the writers only gave Spike these storylines because he was popular or they wanted to keep him around, but even that being the case, there was no need to give him the specific arc that they did. It’s more than possible to read meaning into the story that they chose from the array of possible options.

Here is the thing about the id. It’s not actually something separate from you. It’s not a ravenous monster you can blame your weaknesses on while remaining pure and dignified. The id is part of you. The immediate and enduring appeal of Spike is, I suspect, strongly influenced by the fact that the things the id wants are so very human and sympathetic. His foibles and mistakes are often painfully familiar, even exaggerated through vampirism as they are. In fact, it’s precisely because Spike is allowed to show a full range of reactions to love, because the writing is under less pressure for him to do the “right” or dignified thing, that he can at times be compelling in ways other characters can’t. If Spike just did nasty things, his appeal wouldn’t be much more complicated than the appeal of Angelus, who people tend to like as a villain or storyline rather than as a relatable character. But Spike doesn’t want to dismember nuns or construct elaborate murder tableaux. He wants familiar things like love, identity and meaning, even if the ways he goes about getting them can reflect people’s worst impulses.

Which brings us to Buffy, and Buffy’s story about growing up. Buffy is Buffy’s show, which means that every writing choice tends to revolve around her arc in one way or another. And this goes for Spike’s storyline even more than most. In the final three seasons of the show, the writing finally engages with how inextricable the id--and all of its impulsive, inarticulate romantic desires--really is from a person’s self. So instead of keeping Spike at a comfortable distance, both Buffy and the writing begin to take him seriously. They begin to invite him in.

Starting in season five, it’s telling how frequently Buffy herself projects on Spike, rather than just the writing setting them up as mirrors. She tells him that he’s the “only one strong enough” to protect her family, and later assigns Dawn specifically to his protection. In “Spiral” she describes him as “the only one besides me that has any chance of protecting Dawn.” This is a very intimate role that she otherwise only assigns to herself (and which is not really based on pure practicality, considering that she’ll later describe Willow as her “big gun”--yet never gives Willow the task of protecting Dawn). She tells him that he cannot love, which is the thing she fears most about herself. Her protests that Spike is a vampire, and thus cannot express or want human things like love, mirror her lamentations that as the Slayer, she cannot have a normal life.

From the Gilliland Gothic double essay:

More than any of her other lovers, Buffy and Spike overlap one another so often that at times their character arcs become nearly indistinguishable. With Angel, Buffy traveled a parallel path in attempting to master self-control. With Riley, her journey ultimately took her in the opposite direction. With Spike, Buffy’s journey is most closely shadowed, in that her interactions with him in many ways can be seen as metaphors for her feelings about herself.

So now Spike is multiple things. On the one hand, he’s the soulless id he’s been since season two. His vampiric behavior represents a morally uninhibited way of reacting to romantic frustrations, among other things. But on the other hand, his vampirism now also marks him as like Buffy, not merely her opposite.* Nor is he only her mirror in the realm of romantic love. The part of him that is a vampire is the part of him that is supernatural (ie, Romantically larger-than-life), that sets him apart from regular people, and dictates how he can and cannot behave. Just like Buffy’s slayerness. His vampirism is what makes him capable of protecting Dawn, while also making him (supposedly, according to Buffy) incapable of human feeling--again, just like Buffy’s slayerness. Instead of Buffy’s Slayer side being aligned with Angelus, who was an unmitigated evil, it becomes aligned with Spike, who is something more complicated.

*(Though it must be noted that this was a process that began in season four, with the show aligning Spike with the Scoobies by making him a victim of the Initiative. Spike being supernatural suddenly marks him as non-normative, just like the Scoobies, in contrast to the institutional conformity that the Initiative represents. The evolution towards treating the Romantic supernatural as something positive and associated with identity plays a key role in transitioning the show to the more complicated attitudes of the last three seasons.)

This shift in the show’s attitudes towards the id affects how Spike is used. In “Blood Ties” for example, Spike assists Dawn in breaking into the Magic Shop and in “Forever” he helps Dawn resurrect her and Buffy’s mother. In both cases, Spike could be read as embodying impulsive behavior that Buffy is supposed to be better than. Yet both cases specifically involve Spike helping Dawn, who is repeatedly portrayed as Buffy’s human side. As Buffy says in “The Gift”: “[Dawn]’s more than [my sister]. She’s me. The monks made her out of me. [...] Dawn is a part of me. The only part that I--”. In other words, Buffy’s id becomes closely tied to her humanity, even going so far as to become its safeguard. “Blood Ties” ends with Buffy affirming her connection to Dawn, which Spike’s rule-breaking directly enabled, and “Forever” ends with Buffy acknowledging how desperately she wants her mother back too, and becoming closer to Dawn as a result. (Compare to “Lovers Walk”, where Buffy acknowledging her id results in her breaking away from Angel, not drawing closer to anyone). Or in “Intervention”, Spike building the Buffybot directly parallels Buffy’s own anxieties about what she thinks she should be. She thinks she’s losing her ability to love, and that effusive fakery is her only recourse (as she said in “I Was Made to Love You”: “Maybe I could change. [...] I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes. I mean men like that right? The joke laughing at?”), a fear that even has some merit, given that her friends cannot tell her and the bot apart. Instead of Buffy and Spike having separate arcs in the episode, Spike learning the difference between real and fake dovetails with Buffy’s own relationship to her realness and fakeness. It turns out that neither of them want a bot version of Buffy. They want real emotion, things like sacrifice and heartfelt gratitude. If even Buffy’s id would let itself be killed for Dawn, then maybe she has nothing to fear from herself. Maybe there is some beauty in the emotional part of her nature that she thinks she must repress.

In other words, part of the writing (and Buffy) fully engaging with romanticism and the id, means engaging with the ways they can be bad and good. There’s this weird thing that happens with Spike as soon as he falls in love with Buffy, where suddenly his actions are more uncomfortable, and to many, off-putting, because their object is Buffy (instead of another vampire like Harmony or Drusilla, who either enjoy the same vampiric things he does, or the audience might be inclined to see as a moral nonentity regardless). His comic id quality becomes somewhat darker and more serious, almost like the way Angel’s early season two darkness becomes more serious after he loses his soul. But at the same time, Spike’s actions are also more intriguing, sympathetic, and even noble...because their object is Buffy. It makes no sense that a soulless vampire should not only fall in love with the Slayer, but genuinely attempt to transform himself into someone worthy of her love. And yet that’s exactly what Buffy inspires him to do. By loving Buffy Spike’s dual nature, and the dual nature of his romanticism, is thrown into relief: it’s something that can be selfish and creepy, yes, but also something that hints at the idea that real romanticism does exist. Something worth feeling romantically about does exist. Thus the writing can at once criticize, say, the way the chivalric mindset conflates love and suffering, while also suggesting that there are kinds of love it’s worth being transformed by. (Meanwhile, Spike’s fumbling bewilderment over how to love Buffy, and what the rules of loving people correctly even are, creates a human middle ground between monstrousness and heroism). By leaning into the way that Buffy and Spike have been used as mirrors for three seasons, and introducing the mythology-bending idea of Spike being in love with Buffy, the writing is able to fully engage with this complicated, contradictory nature of love and romance.

All of which is to say. Spike becomes a potential love interest, and is given a convoluted inner conflict between monstrousness, humanity and heroism, in precisely the season in which Buffy begins to reckon with her own inner conflict between her darker impulses, her human reality, and her supernatural role. It’s no coincidence that season five opens with Dracula, an icon of romantic vampire mythology, tempting Buffy with darkness and promising her insight into her nature. Or that a vampire kidnaps Dawn--again, her human half--in the next episode. Or that the season’s antagonist is a super-strong blonde woman who wants to destroy Dawn instead of protect her. Or that she says goodbye to Riley, the boyfriend who embodied her hopes for a more normative way of being (notice how Riley is progressively destabilized by everything non-normative about Buffy’s life, and provokes those anxieties Buffy expresses in “I Was Made to Love You”). Over and over in season five, Buffy fears that her Slayer half is cold, destructive, and otherwise dangerous. That these Romantic things like gods and vampires have it in for Buffy’s vulnerable humanity. Yet Buffy’s vampire id simultaneously gives lie to these fears by proving itself capable of heroism and genuine human feeling.

In other words, Spike becomes a potential love interest in a season that treats the Romantic--ie the grand and mythical--as something more than just an attractive lie to be disabused of. Rather, the question that season five seems to posit to me, and which will not be fully answered until the end of season seven, is this: once you do clear away the attractive lies, once you accept the hard realities, once you’ve seen the darkest underbellies, what are the things that are left that are truly grand and beautiful? What are the stories that are really worth telling, and the heroes that are really worth having?

And the show asks and answers these questions on both a very personal level, and a more meta, systemic level. On the personal level, Buffy and Spike are forced to confront their illusions not just about the world, but about themselves. They are made to ask themselves what constitutes a heroic role or a demonic weakness, versus basic, unromantic humanity. And on the meta level, the show asks questions about our expectations for how both love stories and chosen hero stories are supposed to go.

part 5: “Everything used to be so clear”: Season six and the agony of the real

#romanticism series #gen #s5 #buffy #spike #riley #btvs

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atalho-s · 3 years

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Light Up The Dark

Part 1 | June

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: some smut +18 (in this particular chapter it’s nothing TOO explicit, but miniors be aware), swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 4.9 k

summary: y/n is a famous horror writer. Her books are on the lips of the people and her face is on all the magazine covers of promising young people.

She has just moved to Los Angeles, the city of celebrities and luxury, when she starts to get a writer's block as she starts writing her newest book. A way to distract herself and seek inspiration leads her to have her destiny mapped out with a simple waiter named Tom who has a delicious british accent.

What happens when her inspiration comes back only after she spends a night with him and she only manages to write after being in the company of that guy she just met? Maybe he'll become her newest addiction.

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! this is a series i started writing a while ago, i hope y’all enjoy :) the reader it’s from brazil here, but you can replace from any country you want lol And obv i’m not from LA and never been there, so if i say something out of reality it’s bc of that 😂

"June arrived at the restaurant, sat down near the bar and looked around vaguely. The strange people's faces made her think better and maybe drink a shot of tequila too.

She opened his folder with the horrifying photos of the mysterious case. She felt sick to her stomach.

People said that by then she should have been used to see this kind of thing, but that was repulsive.

She wish the nightmare she had the night before was a way to solve that puzzle, but believing in the afterlife now wouldn't help her... If...If..."

- Damn it... - Y/n slammed her fist on the table. - Writer's block sucks. - She said and took the last sip of her tea.

It s been a week since she couldn't write anything. She would write maybe two paragraphs, maybe even three if she got lucky, but she always ended up erasing it, because she always turned into something meaningless or too cliche.

Damn the time she had promised to deliver something to her editor by the end of the month. But she hadn't counted on the lack of ideas when she agreed to that.

She got up from her chair in frustration and crossed her arms, pacing, as if her creativity had gone out for a walk and she was waiting impatiently for it to come back.

Why had she agreed to write a new book in the first place? She didn't need money. Their previous four books were already making huge profits, and they were going to make a new television series based on one of them.

So why writing another one? Maybe because, she had been having too many nightmares lately. Many family and friends told her to see a psychologist, see if she didn't have some hidden trauma. But looking for a psychologist? Admitting your weaknesses and personal things to a stranger? Never. That would be horrifying.

Writing helped. Transferring his fears to pages was hers gift. When she wrote she didn't have nightmares, didn't see things, wasn't sad. It was like a drug, a calming medicine.

Maybe fame was also making her restless lately. She hated being the spotlight, being the magazine cover of promising young people. She hated to see her name highlighted. But she loved having readers, yes. She loved when someone felt good reading her books or in the good sense of the word: terrified by her stories.

At the height of her 25 years, he never thought her books would become famous at that point. She had always enjoyed writing since she was a child, but working with it was just an unattainable dream. Until, at age 19, she quit her hideous job as a hotel receptionist and decided to publish her first story.

Obviously there were many rejections, until a publisher agreed to publish their work. From then on, her books became more and more known. They called her the new horror genius, the mystery queen, and sometimes even "Stephen King's lost daughter."

She didn't think it was all that. But she accepted the descriptions gladly. No wonder her books didn't come out of the top spot on the best sellers.

Another thing that motivated her to continue with that story, was a phrase from her own idol mentioned, Stephen King: "good stories are those that stay in the head for a long time". And God only knew how that story had been with her for far too long. She always wanted to put it down on paper, so here she was trying to put into words what her head brought up as random thoughts.

But now she was having one of his first creative blocks. Obviously she had already had it with previous books, but nothing as frustrating as this one. She had been trying hard for days, which was exhausting.

She looked at the clock on the wall: 11pm. Who knows if she took another break before starting writing again? Maybe it would help to come up with more ideas.

She thought about watching a show or movie, but he wasn't in the mood. She looked at her long polka dot pajamas under her favorite warm robe and snorted. Go out? On a Thursday night? On a cold night? No way.

But what if it helped her have more writing material? Watching people on the street really helped. If June, the character in her book, was in a bar, maybe if she went to one too it would help to have something to build on.

Writers did it all the time. Describe places that already existed, situations similar to which they lived. So, it wouldn't be new. Maybe she'd even put the location in her tribute if helped she got out of her creative block.

She took a deep breath and went to take a shower. It was decided, she would go out. She put on her best jeans, a Ramones T-shirt with a leather jacket. It wasn't a fancy outfit, but she didn't intend to go somewhere fancy anyway. Her stylist would have been dying to see her now, but she didn't care one bit.

She went out pressing the bottom of the elevator. Y/n had lived on the top floor of a building for 2 months, right in downtown Los Angeles. Sometimes she didn't even know why she chose to live there, she hated the big city and what came with it: paparazzi, celebrities, crazy people who feel superior, wealth and luxury. She came from a humble family, so she always felt like an outsider.

Y/n arrived downstairs and left the condominium calling a taxi that was passing in the street just in time. She walked in and closed the door, crossing her arms, trying to ward off the cold.

- Good night miss, where are you going? - the driver asked looking at her in the rearview mirror.

- Good night... Actually I don't know, do you have any suggestions for a bar around here?- she asked looking out the window. She didn't even bother to look for suggestions for places nearby.

- Well, it depends on what you're looking for... Something luxurious or something fun? - He said and a smiled played on the corer of her mouth. Luxurious was the opposite of fun indeed.

- Something fun, of course.

- So, I suggest the new Seven Devils bar, it's less than 20 minutes from here... - he said.

- Interesting name... Could be. - She said shrugging.

- The name is kinda creepy, but the place is cozy and welcoming, I went once. - the driver said starting and entering the street that was practically empty for being a weekday.

- Cool... - Y/n said looking at the city lights through the window.

After nearly twenty minutes the taxi stopped in front of what appeared to be a small door with a security guard in front of it. The neon sign indicated the name of the place, it seemed a mysterious place for those who passed by without knowing it.

- Thanks. - Y/n said handing the driver the money.

- You're not the Y/n Y/l/n? I didn't want to say anything, but I'm a fan of you, I love your books, they help me pass the time while I wait for passengers. - the driver asked turning a little with one of the Y/n books in his hand. - Could you sign this for me?

- Sure! - Y/n spoke excitedly taking the book from his hand and leaving a message along with her signature. - Thanks for the tip of the place. Have a good night... - She said opening the door.

- No, thank you, have a good night miss. -he said and she smiled closing the door and the taxi left leaving her alone looking at the door in front of her.

She approached the security guard who wished her good night, giving her room to enter, after she showed her ID. Y/n entered a little afraid of what she would find. The door behind her closed and she looked around. It was really cozy as the taxi driver said, it had a part with several tables, which were a little empty and a bar with stools around. The place had a good atmosphere, one of those that people go there to meet and chat with friends, in the background there was a kind of pop song that she wasn't sure if she knew or not.

He slowly approached the bar and sat down on one of the stools. A woman with several tattoos appeared behind the counter and came to serve her.

- Good night! How can I serve you?- she asked with a smile.

- Good night... Hm... Maybe a martini? - Y/n said taking a look at the drinks on the shelf behind the attendant.

- Okay, I'll be back with your order, anything else?

- That's it for now, thanks. - She replied smiling and the attendant walked away.

Y/n kept looking around, watching people, maybe looking for some inspiration. Something that would turn the key in his mind. Many who were there were in groups of friends and were talking animatedly, laughing. Some young and some older, in suits and ties, perhaps coming out of work.

Until one guy in particular caught her attention. He wore the black uniform with the name of the place, with an apron tied around the waist of the same color, and was picking up some glasses from some empty tables. He had dark brown hair slicked back and eyes the same color, very expressive and large. A boy's face from the outside, but on the inside had a mysterious and confident air.

He balanced a tray full of things with an greatest skill in one hand and smiled at some people, he seemed charming because everytime he left a table he left people whispering and giggling embarrassed behind his back.

He walked over and entered the bar placing the tray behind the counter, came close to the other attendant who already had the Y/n martini ready and she could hear him talking, soon realizing he had a perfect accent.

- Sally, you can leave it to me, go take your break. Whose martini is it?- he asked taking a look around.

- Oh thank you, my feet are killing me. It's the girl over there. -she said indicating Y/n with her head and he looked at her, making Y/n realize that she was staring at him for too long, so she looked away embarrassed.

- Okay. - he said looking at where Y/n was sitting and stopped in front of her with the glass. - Good night miss, here is your order. - He spoke with a british accent. Only at that moment did Y/n realize that his accent was well loaded and God only knows how much she loved that accent.

- Oh yes, thank you very much. - She said raising her eyes to look at him and smiled then he blinked with one of his eyes and gave her one more look, before going to deliver another order to a man who was sitting a few benches away.

Y/n felt a shiver all of a sudden, that boy had made her legs a little weak and she didn't really know why. I mean, he was handsome, very handsome and he had a special charm, but it wasn't that much, was it? Maybe it was because it had been a while since she'd dated anyone. When was the last time? Two months ago? Since she had moved in she hadn't gone out with anyone, she had locked herself in her apartment and was writing like crazy. She didn't have time to go out, not even with her friends when she was working on a new book. Which brought them dissatisfaction from time to time, not just because she didn't hang around with them, but because she didn't even go out on one-night stands.

She never been the one that going out with a guy just for sex, she had to have some good first dates and maybe she would take him to see her apartment or go to his apartment. Friends of hers thought she was too old in her spirit, but what can he do? If she couldn't be bad girl once in a while. For a moment she thought, "For this english guy I would be" but shook her head away from the thoughts. She went back to analyzing him, dammit why did he have to be so fit? She could see that the T-shirt he was wearing highlighted his muscles that were only left to her imagination, she found herself biting her lip a bit and snatching her martini off the counter, taking a big sip.

The attendant approached again, drying some glasses with a towel, and took one more look in her direction where she looked away quickly making him smirk. He stopped in front of her again, bracing her arms on the counter, making her swallow hard. He didn't know why she was so nervous, he was just a guy, no biggie.

- I like the shirt. - He pointed with a smile, which made her think he had a beautiful and endearing smile. She looked down and then looked at him smiling too.

- Thank you... Ramones is everything... - she said and drank the last sip of her drink placing the empty glass in front of her right after. - Can you serve one more?

- Sure...- he said, still smiling, took the bottle and filled his glass again. - Trying to distract yourself on a thursday night?

- Yeah... you could say yes... - she said taking another sip. - Have you worked here for a long time?

- In fact, it's been almost six months since I moved to the United States and I've been working here for four months. -he said putting the towel that was in his hand on his shoulder.

- Hm... You're from London?

- I am, wow how did you find out? - he asked raising an eyebrow playfully and she smiled.

- Yeah, your accent really doesn't give out anything ... - she said and he gave a low laugh making her have more goose bumps.

- You also have a different accent, have you lived here for a long time? - he didn't know who she was, which was good. But it also wasn't like she was recognized all the time, despite her face being on magazine covers, she was still a writer, so she was only recognized by those who liked to read or who vaguely remembered her face.

- I was born in Brazil actually, but I've lived here for years, lived in another city for almost five years and now I've decided to come to Los Angeles two months ago...

- I see ... - he said organizing some drinks that were on the counter. - Do you like it here?

- More or less... It's a busy city, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's not for anyone. - He said shrugging. - I like it, I like the rush, but the glamor part really isn't me. - the attendant said and she smiled.

- You're right... I mean, I don't like the glam too much either... - She looked away at her nails.

- What do you work with? - he asked and she looked at him again.

- I'm a writer...

- Nice! What do you write? - He asked curious looking at her with attention.

- I write horror and thriller books.

- Interesting... I would never read, actually I'm not much of a reader anyway, but I wouldn't, because I'm terrified of those things. - He said crossing his arms and she laughed.

- Oh, it's not that terrifying, it's just stories. - She said leaning her elbows on the counter.

- Still, I prefer to have my good night's sleep intact. - He said and she laughed making him smile looking at her.

When she was about to say something, a customer signaled for him and he excused himself going towards the man who was furthest away.

Y/n sighed. She still didn't have any new ideas about her story, but she was entertained by that conversation. She liked not being recognized, she liked him not being interested in her books, for a moment she felt oblivious to anything, liked feeling disconnected from her world.

He returned shortly after and they started talking again. They talked about bands, movies, superficial celebrities and even politics (an important topic in Y/n's vision, who was very firm with her ideas, thankfully he had passed the test). She found out that he was the same age as her and that he moved to the US to look for something that would give him money or a perspective on life, ended up getting that job and intended to stay until he found a different area. The hours passed and they kept finding subjects to give their opinion or questions to ask each other.

- Did you go to college? - she asked after a while.

- No, I don't think I'm smart enough for that, or have the patience. What about you?

- Everyone is smart enough. I started going to business school, but I dropped out when my books started to pay off...

- Wow, your books should give you a good amount of money to be able to drop out of college and dedicate yourself to them...

- Yeah... You could say that. - She shrugged.

- You know looking at you closer like that...- he said getting a little closer and she held her breath for a moment. - I've seen you somewhere...

- Really? - She said raising her eyebrow and drinking from a straw, now with a different drink.

- I don't know, you're not strange to me... - he said putting his hand on his face thoughtfully.

- Well, I hope it's from somewhere nice. - She smiled and he smiled back looking at her. - Do you have a girlfriend or are you married? - Y/n asked and regretted a little, what was she thinking? He wasn't married, as he didn't have a ring on his finger as she'd noticed. But what was her intention by asking that question? She didn't even know, she just knew it had escaped her.

- Neither darling. - He replied smiling a little mischievously and she felt butterflies with the way he called her by that nickname and with that accent. - How about you?

- Neither ... - She replied avoiding looking at him, those eyes hypnotized her and she didn't like to feel at his mercy of a guy she had just met. She took the cell phone disguising but paid attention to the time. - My God, it's already 2:00 in the morning! I completely missed the time.

- I think the company ended up distracting you. - He said still not taking his eyes off her and she felt her cheeks heat up.

- Yeah, the chat was really good... But I have to go... - she said getting up.

- If you wait I can take you home, I'm already leaving, the bar is already closing. - he said and Y/n looked around seeing that some waiters were already collecting some things from the tables.

She thought for a moment, take a ride home with him? It didn't make sense, she had just met him, but at the same time she had enjoyed talking to him so much. He didn't seem like a bad person, but even so you would never know for sure. At the same time she never took any chances, why not let that pretty boy take her home? Finally, she thought: you know what? Screw this.

-Erm, ok...- She shrugged. - I'll go to the cashier to pay and wait for you outside?

- No need to pay darling, it's on me. - He spoke winking and she smiled.

- Oh no, I'll pay no problem...

- Your company has paid off your debt, it's ok. - He replied and she took a deep breath rolling her eyes.

- If you insist...- she said giving up.

He came out from behind the counter and motioned for her to follow him, arriving at the front door where the security was.

- Tuwaine, you can let her pass, it's on me. - He told the big guy and he looked at the english man, sawing his eyes suspiciously and smiling right away. Making Y/n laugh inside.

- Meet you outside? It will only take a few minutes - the attendant said and she nodded, leaving in the cold night.

She leaned against the door with her thoughts. She had come here just to get inspiration and to have her creative back, but she was coming home with an english guy. She didn't even recognize herself anymore, but to say she wasn't anxious (in a good way) was a lie.

She was lost in her thought, until minutes later he came out wearing a denim jacket, which made him look even more handsome.

- Let's go? - He said and she followed him to an old car parked right in front of the bar.

He opened the door for her to get in and she thanked him by sitting in the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt as he closed the door. He sat down next to her right away, also putting on his belt.

- Hey, before we go: I didn't ask for your name! If you're going to take me home at least I have to know that- she asked realizing that she didn't even know that yet and he looked towards her smiling.

- Tom Holland. - He said stretching his hand. - Nice to meet you.

- Y/n Y/l/n- she said, squeezing his hand. And you can't deny that she felt butterflies in her stomach as she felt her skin on hers.

- Your name is not strange to me, I must have read it in one of your books in some shop window. - He said starting and leaving with the car.

- Yeah, who knows ... - she said and he turned on the radio leaving the volume low.

They were exchanging a few words until she indicated that they had arrived at the building where she lived. Tom parked and looked up in a daze.

- Wow, you really have money... - he said and she took off her belt turning towards him.

- A little bit...- she replied crossing her arms. - Well, thank you so much for the ride...

- You're welcome darling. - He said turning his eyes to her. Again that nickname that sounded perfect on his lips.

She turned around, but when she was about to open the door, she turned back to Tom, who was leaning with one hand on the steering wheel and watching her with attention. The next words escaped her again and she was afraid she'd regret it.

- Tom, do you want to come in? - She spoke still holding the door and the boy smiled.

- Sure ... - he said taking the key from the ignition and she shook her head slightly leaving.

He followed her and they entered the building. Tom looked at everything admired which made Y/n smile a little to herself. They entered the elevator and she pressed the penthouse button causing him to raise an eyebrow.

- You really must be a great writer. - he said and she laughed.

He leaned his back against the elevator wall, putting his hands in his pocket and looking her up and down, making her shy. He kept looking at her and it was making her nervous.

They were silent until the elevator opened after a while and they got out. Y/n put a password on the door and it swung open with a small click, she took held the latch and motioned for Tom to enter.

After the two of them entered she closed the door again behind her and watched Tom standing further on, looking around.

- Nice apartment...- he finally said.

- Thank you... - She leaned against the table at the entrance. She didn't know what to do next, maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him here. Why was she so impulsive that night? -Tom, I don't know why I invite you in, sorry...-she said a little nervous looking at her feet. He turned towards her, approaching and stopping in front of her.

- Are you sure you don't know? - He asked and she raised her head, seeing those brown eyes. She bit her bottom lip watching him closely. Damn he knew how to hypnotize her. He took another step and placed a hand on either side of her on the table, cornering her - Your body says otherwise, love... - he said softly feeling her breath hitch slowly and approaching his face to hers, alternating the look of your eyes to her lips. Y/n found another nickname that was perfect when he say.

He finally closed the distance by pressing his lips to hers. His lips were soft and warm, as if they were meant to be kissed. She returned the kiss willingly and when she laced her fingers in his neck, he licked her lower lip slowly asking for passage in which she opened them letting his tongue explore her mouth.

His hands gripped her waist and roamed her body greedily. As he kissed her, he caught her from behind her legs and sat her down on the entrance table, biting her bottom lip shortly after, provoking a low moan from her. He smiled against her lips and trailed kisses to her neck, attacking her skin with desire, making her throw her head back a little.

She grabbed his hair and pulled him back so she could kiss him. Which he gladly reciprocate. His kiss was urgent, but without being rude, he tasted like mint, making her want him even more.

His fingers found the button of her pants and he undid them quickly pulling them out, tossing them aside. When he came back he took her calf and kissed her leg up to her thighs, making her sigh. He moved up the kisses until he caught the hem of her shirt and pulled it up a little, kissing her stomach as well. Y/n didn't know what to do but feel goose bumps with every touch he gave. He then hiked up her shirt and she lifted her arms where he pulled her off, tossing along with her pants that were also on the floor.

She was just wearing her underwear in front of him, it made her a little excited and embarrassed at the same time, but the way he looked at her made her feel confident. He went back to kissing her body, this time kissing each covered breast in turn and reaching for the back of her bra and opening it. She helped him out tosiing to the side and he stood between her legs just watching her for a second, making her feel her cheeks heat up.

- Perfect... - he said with a low voice, as it was for himself and bent down to her breasts kissing each one of her nipples and then sucking them deliciously. Y/n moaned and bit her lip to keep her moans from getting louder, tangling her fingers in his hair again. He looked into her eyes for a few seconds and smiled slightly lowering his kisses to where she wanted him most.

He reached the hem of her panties and pulled them out slowly, kneeling between her legs and she looked at him with expectation. He returned the look and gave that smirk again.

- Look at you darling.... - That damn nickname. - Extremely wet and I haven't even touched you yet... - he said approaching and devouring her right away making her throw her head back with pleasure, biting her lips again to not sound so pathetic with her moans that insisted in wanting get out. - Oh, please don't drown out those wonderful sounds you make, I want to hear how good I'm making you feel. - He said in a husky tone, returning to his task after and she parted her lips letting her moans spread through the apartment.

****************************************************************************************

Y/n woke up the other day in her bed. She didn't even know how she got there, she just had flashes of the night before and how good she felt in each moment. She stretched and looked to the side seeing she was alone. She got up and put on a robe who was on the side of the bed.

After going to the bathroom and doing her morning hygiene routine she walked around the apartment looking around to see if Tom was somewhere else in the house, but found nothing. Which was understandable, it wasn't like she expected him to stay there and have breakfast with her and all.

She arrived in the kitchen and made black coffee and lean against the countertop. What that simple waiter had done to her was ridiculous, in a good sense, she felt great and kept remembering that accent that was stuck in her mind. He had consumed her in a way she had never imagined it she could be.

Taking a deep breath she set down turning her notebook on. Then opened her book and started writing.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #bartender!tom #waiter!tom #tom holland x famous!reader #bartender!tom x writer!reader #tom holland series

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bastardfucker · 2 years

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In case no one’s told you yet today: your writing is an absolute gift. Your characterization is phenomenal—if someone told me you’d been plucked out of the boys’ writers’ room, id be like “yeah that tracks” because of how realistic ur dialogue & inner monologues are. It’s embarrassing how many times ive read thru critical darlings too 😵‍💫 like i just love ur work!! Have a fab day

I want to print this out and hang it on my wall 🥺💖

This means a lot to me, especially since Critical Darling is my favorite Fic that’s I’ve written. I do Intend to continue it some day (I mean it was at least a year between Chapters 4 and 5), but all of my fics are currently on hiatus due to the fact that I picked up a job as a professional Ghostwriter.

The company I work for has me writing 4k words a day for three weeks at a time, which between that and being a parent doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of free time.

That said, in what free time I DO have I’m working on my own original Horror-Romance Novella series. I figure that since I have a full-time career as a writer now, I should have something I can actually publish under my own name (since none of my ghostwriting work can go in my portfolio due to the NDAs I had to sign)

It means a lot to me that you feel I capture the characters well; the Homelander character in particular is a fascinating character to work with. Toxic devotion is one of my favorite tropes to write in, and his very specific traumas make for a lot of interesting things to unpack (I have chapters 6, 7, and part of 8 thought out, but I won’t have the time to actually work on them until I get at least one of my original works published-which will be a while since work keeps me pretty busy)

Putting a readmore here because I accidentally made this a long post and I don’t want to clutter anyone’s dashes 😅

Critical Darling started out as a “Fix it Fic” in the sense of “Okay but, what if someone actually CARED about Homelander? What would happen?” But the thing about Homelander is even when he’s doing his best and he has a support system, he’s going to put a LOT of pressure on that person. I intend to explore a little bit more of his possessiveness in chapter 6, since Darcy really hasn’t tripped on any of his jealousy buttons so far(since she herself has no other friends), I also want to give her the chance to be a prick to some other characters in a way that’ll highlight the weird over-protective codependency she’s headed toward with him. I also intend for her to meet Hughie, and without him knowing who she is, get some of her reservations about Homelander off of her chest(her desire for a real relationship but inability to touch him-which she phrases like a psychological issue with touch rather than outing her power). Unfortunately, she’ll also meet Butcher, and that will confirm her as an Enemy to The Boys(more than just being “Mrs. Cunt”). Her altercation with Butcher will actually end up making the codependency WORSE, because it reenforces her trauma around being a supe and the idea that she was raised with that she should be punished for it, and she clings to Homelander, because he makes her feel safe being who she is. This of course, gives him such a big ego. (He had been mad that she went off in the middle of the night without him; he of course, didn’t really have the right to be mad that she went out for a walk, but having her cling to him for safety after a traumatic event really makes him feel more confident that he’s right about his possessiveness)

I just want to enforce that just because Darcy’s genuine compassion for him IS helping him, that love isn’t a magic cure-all pill for the very deep rooted issues he has; ESPECIALLY when she has a lot of unresolved issues of her own. Both Homelander and Darcy are making progress on their respective issues (he is learning that he doesn’t have to be Perfect to be loved, and he’s allowed to hurt from what has been done to him; she is growing to be less passive, her tendencies to stand up for HIM helping her better understand that she needs to hold boundaries for herself), but they will definitely both stumble sometimes.

Chapter 7 will involve him meeting her family (Grandparents and Brother) within the context of their fake relationship, and it will definitely mean a lot to him when they essentially welcome him to the family with open arms (and make him that much more desperate for his relationship with Darcy to be more than a Media Cover). It will have a lot of cute fluff with Darcy’s kid brother being a huge Homelander fan, but it will also explore a lot of angst within the context of his inner monologuing regarding the way Darcy’s Grandparents seem to genuinely want to treat him like a person, and it will be very hard for him not to cry when he sees the opportunity to have a real family, if he can make things real with Darcy. Of course, being around the family will also expose some of her traumas around her parents/stepfather that she hasn’t really disclosed to him, and that will go a long ways toward helping him understand who she really is. (Being welcomed into Darcy’s family will also steer him away from the whole supe supremacy thing, since now he has a human family who cares about him. It will also put him in a much better place emotionally when he finally meets Ryan; especially with Darcy there to provide emotional support and to actually take Becca’s feelings into account)

Oops I really didn’t mean to go on a whole big speech about what’s next for Critical Darling 😅; I just really really love the fic so I get a little overzealous whenever I get the chance to talk about it.

In any case, thank you so much for the kind words!! It was actually the amount of support I’ve gotten for Critical Darling that pushed me to actually try for the professional work I have now, so it really does mean everything to me. Writing professionally has literally changed my life for the better.

#asktag #this really does mean so much to me

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alirhi · 3 years

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okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

#fan rant #ragepost #long post #bucky barnes #mcu #captain america #the first avenger #the winter soldier #civil war #tfatws #mcu spoilers #stop victim blaming #victim not villain #never a fucking villain #bucky deserved better #fuck marvel #fuck disney

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sweet-cynical-writer · 4 years

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Thank you to everyone who waited patiently!!! The long overdue update is here for Soukoku's Love Child!

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Suicide, Gore, Death

Special thanks to @soukokuwu naturally for proofreading & of course continuing to be my partner for the series! ♡

Soukoku's Love Child - Nikkō's Past

The soft piano music carried on a reminiscent sound as Dazai walked into Lupin. As he settled into his seat, a certain ginger haired mafioso let out an exasperated sigh as if he'd been expecting company for quite some time. His partner was late as usual.

“What kept you this time, shitty Dazai?”

He took his drink in hand to take a sip before replying. And naturally it made Chuuya upset. A warning glare shot towards the barkeep who was only there to do his job and nothing more. Dazai didn't mind ;In fact for as long as he'd been coming to Lupin, he was always served without having to place a single order.

“I was visiting someone along the way. Turns out, they need my help.”

His partner opened his mouth to retort that there's no way he would assist in helping him but was cut off as if it were expected.

“Chuuya. I know you don't want me to get involved in anyone's problems. But this is a special case. And it will affect you as well.”

The way he released an audible, ‘Tch’ made Dazai smirk with amusement. It was his partner's way of saying, ‘go on and explain yourself fast before I rip your head off’.

“I'm glad you understand. Now. To put it bluntly, I found out more about this kid I ran into. We should adopt him. There's too much risk keeping him in that orphanage and if someone else comes along to grab him.. well let's just say it will only create more work for us.”

Chuuya was irritated at the idea of having a child to look after. He hardly would have patience for Dazai as troublesome and childish he could be. Taking care of a real child would be a nightmare.

“Now listen here, if you think that you could just make all the decisions here and I would just go along with it, you're dead wrong.”

Sure, Chuuya was aware that when it came to making life changing decisions that Dazai had a natural gift for choosing right every time. But that didn't mean the ginger had to mindlessly agree every time something like this occurred.

The way he cooly took his drink to his lips only made him more angry. That sly smile played on his lips like he could order the mafia executive around like some second hand maid.

“Look you bandaged bastard, I mean it. If we just ignore this child and we do end up with more work, so what? We could always use an alternative to helping the kid find a stable home rather than have us watch him.”

Even given their separate roles, it would be impossible for either of them to always have visual watch on the kid. Was he expecting the two of them to play hot potato taking care of him? And then there were always the possibilities of the kid wandering off. Chuuya shook his head after drinking from his glass.

"No, Dazai. There's too much maintenance to bother having this kid in our care. I say make him someone else's problem or just forget about it.”

He knew better than to doubt Dazai's intuition. As insufferable this man was, he never made a wrong call on a long term decision. Ultimately, that was part of the pros of dating such a man. Still, no matter how sharp Dazai was in taking the lead, Chuuya refused to cooperate. This time, Dazai was asking for too much on his part.

To be honest, the burnette anticipated a reaction like this from Chuuya. He didn't look surprised in the slightest as he watched his partner express the facial expression of a stubborn dog who didn't want to move an inch. Unless his owner was going to drag him along by the leash.

“You may be against it now, Chuuya. But when I tell you what kind of capabilities this child has, you'll change your mind.”

Dazai took another sip from his glass before setting it down with a soft clink against the glass coaster. His warm chocolate gaze filled with sorrow as he parted his lips to tell the story of a child that lost everything at once.

***

The child was only six when this took place. A meeting that was long overdue on a night when the air was bone chilling. It whispered desirable sins in the ears of two lovers that tore a bond that was at wit's end. There was only a matter of time that this would happen but the way it happened was something not fit for children. So it was only natural that they waited until their son was put to bed before they took action on leaving him behind.

Nothing was going to stop them from reaching what they both wanted most. The one thing in life that was irreversible that was both feared and wanted by man. It was something that their son wouldn't understand until long after they left.

“The only thing I hope for.. is that he won't hate us if he ever finds out.”

Her silky voice came out in a soft whisper. Sweet honey coated eyes staring back into that freshly cut emerald gaze of his. They were sharp and confident the way he reassured his wife with a gentle press of his lips to hers. The moonlight shone down on them like a spotlight. They danced against death for their whole lives. But tonight? Tonight they would dance toward it.

They had decided a while back; they’d do it here, near the river, under the bridge where it’s quiet, barren. It wasn’t too far from the house, but far enough so their child would be able to sleep through it. Doing it at their home would be too much, too troublesome.

Tonight was the last time they could breathe. The last time they would see each other. Their fate was sealed with the guns they both held in each other's hands. They intertwined arms with the barrels resting on their foreheads. With a silent exchange to one another, they released the trigger.

It was roughly 6:45 A.M. that the boy had woken up from his slumber. He was in a daze, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he rolled out of bed to search for his parents. Their bedroom being empty sent his heart into a panic. Where did they go? And without him? Frantically, he opened the front door to rush to the first place he thought of. The river. It was a favored area that Nikkō loved to spend his time skipping rocks.

There were even times when he would hide from his parents to play out here. It was an obvious spot to be found, but that didn't matter to him, he always wanted to be found easily. However, this time, Nikkō's parents were the ones easily found.

Two bodies, side by side and covered in red, tainting the usual clear blue gentleness which was the river. It no longer held the innocent and kind memories of his family. Instead, it haunted him as he stared wide eyed and unmoving like a statue.

He was snapped out of his blank state to the sound of an incomplete call made out to the caller ID labeled, ‘YASU’. The cell phone was found in his mother's hand. He broke down in uncontrollable sobbing. Nikkō was there, curled in between the decaying bodies of his parents. Crying hysterically with an erratic heartbeat that was visible to the naked eye. A man who possessed blond hair and kind eyes had shown up before to tame the child before police arrived.

It was decided from the note left behind that he would be put into the orphanage for the sake of not learning of his dark past. Out of fear that the child would possibly take things the wrong way or attempt to take his own life out of guilt. His parents did not want the chance of Nikkō ever finding out about losing his family. There was also the logical fear that someday, learning about his ability that he could use it to hurt everyone around him.

As long as he remained oblivious to his ability, he could live out a full life of happiness. If he remains in the orphanage, some loving family will pick him up and raise him to be a sweet child. There were too many risk factors to expose Nikkō to such sensitive information. All they could do was hope he would never have to go through the stress and strain that came with having an ability.

Including knowing about Yasu, he was left with no choice. His parents found it too risky that one day, the truth would slip out if they allowed Yasu to raise Nikkō. Their last request of their old friend was to take him to an orphanage. No further contact was allowed with him after he was dropped off. But Yasu loved Nikkō like his own. He kept his promise to take Nikkō to the orphanage, only to go against their wishes and keep in contact with the boy by exchanging gifts and letters with him as time passed.

The moment the orphanage learned about the child's ability to manipulate emotions upon physical contact, they had him separated from the rest of the children. He was considered a walking disaster that only wanted those to suffer with him. When in actuality, the child not only had no clue he possessed an ability, but he wished for someone to explain what he was feeling. He was confused and often became docile at the mention of any word similar to ‘family’.

He was often asked many questions referring to his past like what happened to his parents and if he knew why he was there at the orphanage. Nikkō couldn't answer with certainty, given that the disturbing image of two bloodied bodies seen at a tender age made his brain block out those memories. Something in him refused to let him access his past. Telling him to keep pushing forward and never look back.

Tags for notification: @suehiro @jounos-teashop-writing @aiya-chan03 @i-am-sleepy-as-heck @tapioka-boi @wildnya @chihxru @dazedbydazai @bandaged-writer @daffodildazaiwrites @orphic-osamu

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #chuuya bsd #soukoku's love child #Seikatsu Nikkō #zai writes #zai does shitty edits

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rowanelliis · 4 years

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hey hi hello i’m SLATER ( they/them ), twenty-five, currently living my worst life on the left coast ( pst ). i bring to you my twitchy, lonely son, ROWAN. he’s a part-time antique lover, part-time dishwasher, full-time ghost whisperer. ( or something like that,, we’ll get to it later. ) he fills the alone ranger plot, and you can find his bio/questionnaire HERE && some quick stats HERE. follow me under the cut for a TL;DR bio and wanted connections !! @phqextras

oh hello again ! as promised, here is the summarized bio, bc i get that it’s long and you have shit to do. that said ! if possible, i would really love if you read THE BIO before/instead of this. it’s just,,, better. and better is better. anyway, here we go !

rowan was born in pleasance to a 22 yo anita ellis and a father who bounced shortly thereafter, but we don’t care about him

he sees dead people! always has. they vary in shape from faded human to amorphous eldritch horror, and they’re supremely unhelpful. they mostly dont talk and the ones who do dont really answer what youre saying, they just say whatever they want. they moan a lot tho. its annoying. he hates them. kinda.

anita was a fraudulent fortuneteller and genuine psychic. she just knew stuff. rowan figures whatever he is, he got it from her.

he loves her sm guys. she was the mf BEST MOM. we’re talking blanket forts. we’re talking homemade stews. we’re talking going to alby’s to try on outrageous outfits they couldn’t afford and then shoplifting some little treasure to delight rowan with on the way out. the BEST.

when he was eleven, he spent an afternoon in the sequoia grove and when he got back he learned that to everyone else, hed been missing for five days

so that was a whole thing

following a years-long downward spiral of her mental health, anita showed up at rowans high school in the midst of a full-on psychotic episode. he was taken away by cps almost immediately and sent to a group home a couple towns over.

when he got back to pleasance at eighteen, she was gone. missing, not dead.

since then hes been devoted to the cause of finding her but its been eleven fucking years and no one else seems to care so he do get down abt it sometimes

his main theory is that it has something to do with the sequoia grove. he thinks that maybe whatever happened to him as a kid happened to her, but on a larger scale.

he currently lives in the house that he grew up in and that his grandparents built, a giant ugly thing that hasnt been updated in any way since the 70s

hes bad at holding a job. hes bad at feeding himself. hes bad at sleeping. hes bad at forming and maintaining relationships. basically, hes bad at being an adult human.

ok so maybe he doesnt see ghosts. maybe his mom wasnt psychic. maybe theyre just crazy. that is a possibility. but its also possible its true. you dont know. leave him alone

ok now the fun part ! here are some connections id like to see for rowan:

actual friends (one or two, three TOPS. hes a loner ok)

i honestly debated whether i wanted him to have any close friends at all but yknow what! hes been in this town for nearly 30 damn years he can treat himself to a friend or two. these would be people who believe him, or at least have an open mind. they could be from way back or more recently. just people he’s comfortable around, and maybe goes to specifically for comfort. he needs a lot more of that than he’s getting.

hookups (past or present)

i think hes kind of slutty?? not in any active kind of way, hes definitely not aggressive or even confident, but he’s so starved for affection that i think he’d have a hard time saying no to anyone offering it. his sexuality is Undeclared but Not Straight, so he’s up for grabs. he’s also weak for...... how do you say..... les milfs. i mean he would never use that word but it is what it is. mommy issues doesnt even begin to cover it. on a related note! if your character is on the amoral side of the spectrum, this guy would be wildly easy to manipulate. just like, brush his hair with your fingers or call him good or whatever. he’s Weak.

exes (maybe one serious, no more than a couple more casual)

here are some great reasons to dump rowan:

will not remember your birthday or anniversary or anything

obsessed w his mom

sometimes sleeps with his eyes open which is creepy as Fuck

usually broke

lives in that fucking house

kissed someone else at your birthday party bc they had really pretty eyes and were standing really close and kinda smiled at him and he got overwhelmed

routinely talks to the air, sometimes aggressively. thinks hes covert abt it. is not.

love interests (look im not actually into planning ships it just felt fair to rowan to balance this out a little)

here are some great reasons to date rowan:

will never, ever laugh at you or make you feel small

will give small, thoughtful gifts for no reason

cute floppy hair, doe eyes

once he feels safe with you, he will do anything for you, any time, forever

lives in that fucking house

you never knew a kiss could make you feel so wanted

maybe he’s special, you know? maybe he’s just something special

( ok that was gay ! now back to your regularly scheduled programming )

people who think he’s crazy (as many as possible tbh)

i know weve got a lot of believers here but honestly,,, even among believers i think hes kind of an outcast. the mf talks to himself. there are like 8 agreed upon stories around town and hes seen waaaaaay more ghosts than that. and non-belevers?? fuggedaboutit. i kinda see this as part of the reason he was rejected from the mystery gang. maybe someone it was like ‘ok im into checking this stuff out but that guys fucking nuts’. idk. what is life without struggle?? without conflict?? boring.

people who are using him for the story (whoever wants)

this could be a writer or reporter, but it could also just be someone whos interested in this kind of stuff. OR again, could be a non-believer who just thinks its entertaining to watch him. could be honest about their motives or straight up manipulating him into thinking theyre a friend or whatever. pretty open, i just think he would be a figure of interest to certain people.

someone who was present when his mom showed up at the high school (someones?)

this isn’t even a connection really so much as just A Thing I Want. i want someone who saw a tiny, angry-crying sixteen year old rowan drag his screaming mother down the hall of the science wing with their own two eyes. student, teacher, visiting alumni, parent or sibling who was at the school for some reason idk. maybe they pitied him and approached him later. maybe it was the thing that made someone decide hes a lost cause. it doesnt even have to ever come up. i just want someone to have that image in their brain. i want them to see it when they see what a mess he is now.

a final note! when rowan was a kid he was pretty open about the ghost stuff, mostly because his mom always believed him w/out question and he didn’t know it was something to hide. after the whole woods incident and the reaction of cps + the cops to his story, he learned to keep that shit to himself. unless he knows your character well, he probably wouldnt have discussed it w them directly. however! anyone around his age might remember the stuff he talked about as a kid or his mom showing up at the school (honestly that was dramatic enough the story may live on in the halls of nwhs today in some form or another). anyone around his moms age (40-50) might know how woo-y and sketchy she and her child were. there are certainly rumors about both of them. also, most people have probably seen him behaving strangely, ie. suddenly rerouting on the sidewalk to walk around what seems like nothing, telling something to fuck off under his breath, or just flitting his eyes over to a seemingly empty space over and over. he really does try to appear as normal as possible, but it’s difficult. i think most people see more than he knows, and more than he would like them to.

#[ roe; DEVELOPMENT. ]#phqintro #mental illness tw #i thought this wouldnt need a single tw #and honestly that would be a first for me #though only one is a first for me too sdjfnsjdfn #i really feel like i must be missing something this never happens #usually its like #just a parade of absolute horror down here in the tags

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edge-lorde · 4 years

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hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post.

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical.

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote.

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now.

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team. this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle.

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs.

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad.

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such.

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left.

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots.

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u.

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart.

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O.

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie.

until next time, remember.......

#hp #harry potter #hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #bill weasley #goblins #charlie weasley #sirius business #rowan khanna #rambling #Thoughts #so sorry im still making these posts #i just want to see them through to the end now

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artistic-writer · 5 years

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Love Finds a Way :: CS Jurassic World AU :: Ch 8

Title: Love Finds a Way by @artistic-writer

Summary: Emma Swan is the Head of Operations for David Nolan’s exotic adventure park, Jurassic World. She has a son, Henry, and is loved and respected by her colleagues. Her life was perfect until a new dinosaur the park created, Indominus Rex, decided to escape. Oh, and her one night stand, Killian Jones - he’s there to help contain the asset. Just to complicate things even more. Jurassic World AU.

Rating: M (for people getting eaten)

Also on: AO3 - FF

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRYSTAL! I hope you like this little bit of excitement and accept it as my gift to you on this glorious celebration of your birth! Welcome to 21 again! ;) And thank you to @resident-of-storybrooke for your eyes <3

Taglist: @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @resident-of-storybrooke @cocohook38 @sherlockianwhovian @wordsmith-storyweaver@winterbaby89 @kymbersmith-90 @killianmesmalls @killian-whump @nonnyj @jennjenn615 @thislassishooked @searchingwardrobes @doodlelolly0910 @cs-forlife @darkcolinodonorgasm @mariakov81 @xemmaloveskillianx

Please show your appreciation for my writing and artwork by buying me a Ko-fi. If you are unable to do that, then please enjoy it and show your appreciation with a reblog. Or leave me a comment, i’m a sucker for that. Any feedback welcome :D

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“Emma, should we talk about this?” Killian finally broke the silence between them as they headed towards the raptor compound.

“About what?” Emma asked dumbly as she stared out the window into nothing but rolling green fields. “We kissed,” she shrugged.

“Aye, we kissed, and then you said ‘we’,” Killian clarified. He took his eyes off the road for a second to stare at her profile. “‘We’,” he repeated a little louder in the hopes she would look at him.

“Did I?” Emma turned to him, finally, a smirk playing on her lips.

Killian knew she was teasing him as soon as he saw her eyes, still a little wide from arousal and excitement, her lips slightly plumper than before as they framed her teeth in a grin. He had been holding his breath and without even realising it, he exhaled hard in relief, loosening his vice like grip on the steering wheel. If he still had any doubt it was all washed away when Emma reached across the centre console and rested her hand on his thigh, brushing her fingers over the fabric of his jeans.

“I said we can wait,” Emma smiled softly but with a more assertive tone. “I’m sorry, but my priority is Henry right now.”

“Of course,” Killian agreed. He dropped one hand from the wheel and laid it over hers, curling his fingers around hers and giving the digits a little squeeze. “Did Liam say if he was alright?”

“God, no, what if he is hurt?” Emma suddenly panicked. “I didn’t hear his voice. What if he,-”

“He’s not hurt,” Killian assured her, squeezing her hand again. “I promise you he’s not hurt.”

“You saw that Gyrosphere,” Emma snapped. “And Graham’s…”

“Hey, love, stop that now,” Killian soothed, releasing her hand and putting both of his back on the wheel. “Liam said he was safe and besides,” Killian said quickly, leaning forward to inspect the imposing concrete wall that loomed in front of them. “We’re about to find out for ourselves.”

Without even knowing it, Emma and Killian followed the exact same road up to the raptors compound that Henry had taken. The two roads intersected not far from where they had found the Gyrosphere and it seemed that not many people had taken notice of the old road in such a long time it had been thoroughly overgrown until Henry had plowed his Jeep through the tree covered gates. As soon as he arrived at the compound, Henry had drawn a detailed map for security who had resecured the gate following Liam’s orders in an attempt to minimise any more assets escaping.

Guards already had the gate open when they saw Killian’s vehicle approaching, but it hadn’t even come to a full stop before Emma was jumping out of the passenger seat and rushing for her son when she spied him across the courtyard. He was standing next to Liam, who looked up when he heard the vehicle’s engine and the crunch of gravel under tyres, but he had no time to announce their arrival before Henry was taking off towards it.

“Henry!” Emma shouted as she ran towards her son across the gravel, her heels catching in the stones and twisting her ankle sideways. She ignored the misstep, thighs burning with exertion as she propelled herself towards her son, nothing able to stop her, least of all the warm breeze as it whipped at her face.

“Mom!” Henry cried out, rushing towards her with twice as many steps, his little legs working faster than they ever had, arms outstretched in readiness to embrace the one person he wanted more than anyone else in the entire world.

When their bodies collided, Henry knocked all of the air out of Emma’s lungs with the energy at which he jumped into her arms and trapped her waist with his legs. She had to swing around to compensate for the force, arms wrapping around the boy so tightly she didn’t realise at first that she might be squeezing him a little too hard. Henry wriggled after a few minutes of Emma combing her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, a hefty sigh audible to all of the crew currently working in the compound when she got a whiff of his scent from his hair.

“Oh, Henry,” Emma apologised quickly, setting the boy back to the ground. Her hands continued to roam over him beginning on his head where she even looked behind his ears. “Are you hurt?” She fussed, pulling the cartilage forward and noticing a few scraps down his neck.

“Mom,” Henry groaned, trying to move his head out of her reach. Emma ruffled the hair that had fallen over his forehead, exposing another long slice along his eyebrow that had sealed itself shut with some caked on mud. “Mom, I’m fine.”

“Just let me look at you,” Emma told him, her voice trying to sound calm but the quake in her words giving away her anxiety. She and Killian had come close to the Indominus Rex, but as the crushed glass sphere and Graham’s leg had attested, Henry may have come closer. “Just quickly,” Emma promised, dropping to her knees and running her hands over Henry’s torso.

“He’s alright, aren’t you, Henry?” Killian announced a little louder than he should have from behind her. When Henry spied him over his mother’s shoulder he grinned, pleased to see his friend. Killian gave him a wink and a sideways smirk. “Let the lad be.”

“I’m okay, mom,” Henry told her, catching her eye when she looked back to her. He gave her a boyish smile, one of his chubby cheeks painted with yet more scabbing. Emma ran her thumb over it, softly so she didn’t hurt him but so that he knew she cared more than she had done over the past few years.

“I’m sorry about Graham,” Killian offered Henry with a look cast down to his boots as they scuffed at the stones under his feet. He knew Emma wouldn’t know how to approach the subject, and they never had to tell Henry the gory details of what they had found, but when the boy gave him a small nod, wise beyond his years, Killian returned the gesture.

“I should never have let Graham takes us off the track in the Gyrosphere,” Henry said solemnly, lowering his head. “I knew we would get in trouble.”

“Not your fault,” Emma told him sternly, cupping his face in her hands and lifting his watery gaze to hers. “You hear me? No one is in trouble.”

“Your mother is right,” Killian told him, stepping closer and laying one hand on the young boy’s shoulder. “This isn’t anyone’s fault.”

“Did you see that dinosaur?” Henry asked Killian with a hint of fear still lingering in his voice. “It was so big, like no dinosaur I’ve ever seen. What was it?”

Emma got to her feet and looked at Killian, silently pleading with him to not tell her son what the Indominus was, or what had gone wrong, and most definitely not how she had been responsible for almost getting him eaten by it. Killian sucked in a breath, trying to buy himself some time to think of an answer that might sate Henry’s inquisition but not also terrify him enough to give him nightmares for the rest of his life. Although, Killian wasn’t sure that damage hadn’t already been done.

“So, it escaped?” Henry inquired, leaning forward from the back seat of the vehicle they currently all occupied.

Emma had insisted on heading back to the comms centre, to what end Killian wasn’t sure, but she was convinced that it was the safest place on the island. “Kind of,” Killian offered with a thought.

“And it can camouflage? Like a chameleon?” Henry peppered the question at no one in particular and Emma and Killian shared a look. They had told him the jist of the general story, leaving out all of the ACU carnage, but true to his nature, Henry was hungry for more knowledge.

“Sort of,” Emma replied, seeing the disappointed look in his eyes from the rearview mirror.

“She clawed out her own tracking chip too,” Killian told him as he shifted down a gear to ascend a particularly steep hill on the road back to the comms.

“Why are you impressed with that?” Emma asked him in a hushed voice with a narrowed stare.

“It means she is clever,” Henry told her before Killian had time to answer. “Dinosaurs are not known for their brains.”

“Exactly!” Killian agreed, even if he didn’t totally agree with the thought process of a ten year old. The Indominus wasn’t doing anything out of malice, or because she was trying to get back at the human population of the island. She was simply trying to find where she fits into an already complicated food chain, further intricate by her very existence.

Emma glared at him. “God, I am so fired.” Killian had no time to respond before Emma’s phone rang again, her heart jumping into her mouth. She fumbled with the device before realising it was Ruby on her caller ID, probably with even more bad news that she was sure could wait until she reached the comms centre. They were already halfway there but nevertheless, Emma answered after a sigh.

“Ruby, I’m on my way back to the comms room,-”

“That’s a bad idea,” Ruby whispered, her voice muffled under her palm she was using to conceal her cell phone.

“What? What’s going on?” Emma demanded

“Walsh is what’s going on,” Ruby growled. “He’s taken over, had David escorted out by security, and In-Gen is taking over emergency ops.”

“What the fu,-”

“Emma, listen,” Ruby shuffled further into the corner she was hiding in when one of In-Gen’s men swept by her with some more equipment. “He has this insane plan to use the raptors to hunt the Indominus.”

“What do you mean, ‘use the raptors’?” Emma repeated with a frown, one finger in her ear as she struggled to hear over the sound of the tyres on the off-road terrain.

“Son of a bitch,” Killian muttered, overhearing Emma’s exclamation and slamming on the brakes and stopping Henry from flying forward with am arm across the gap between the seats.

“You shouldn’t swear,” Henry told him but before Killian could scold him for not wearing a belt, his words were almost drowned out by the sound of helicopters overhead.

They all looked up, military helicopters thundering across the sky. Killian tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his jaw muscles ticking with the mere thought of Walsh touching his raptors. Killian wasn’t an idiot. He knew that he was expendable to In-Gen’s research. All they needed was to see one successful run of raptors obeying commands for them to think it was a good idea to release them, and Killian had already shown them that.

“He’s heading to them now,” Ruby told her in a low voice. “Tell Killian-,”

“I heard you, lass. Fucking Walsh,” Killian growled louder than usual so Ruby could hear him.

“You shouldn’t say fuck,” Henry muttered.

Yanking the gear stick into reverse, Killian peered over his shoulder and gave Henry a look, nodding towards the seatbelt he should have already been wearing. “Seatbelt, Henry,” he scolded gently as the red faced boy scrambled to secure his belt. “And hold on.”

Walsh had done it. He had successfully acquired the ability to control people, and all it had taken was a little hot headedness a the hands of David Nolan. For years he had played the underdog, skulking around in the shadows of others, gaining repute as high as his status would allow. When the Jurassic World gig had come up, not many people put their names forward to go and work on the island, but Walsh had not faltered where others had, signing up and flashing his passport to the nearest superior.

He wasn’t going to lie, he had thought it would have been much harder than it actually was to get someone as influential as David Nolan to lose their temper. Normally a man of resolve, Nolan had cracked way earlier than Walsh had anticipated. His jaw hurt but it had been worth it. All it had taken was a little jab here, and a little nudge there, combined with a slight towards a woman who David obviously held feelings for, before the Mughal had toppled.

The days had been long, the nights no cooler than those days, but Walsh was finally where he wanted to be. A little bit of small print said that in the event of a massive security risk that was unable to be contained by the in house security teams, In-Gen officials would be assigned to minimise the risk to life by, and here is the important part, any means necessary. As far as Walsh was concerned, four apex predators loose on an island where the majority of the human population was already contained in one place was a risk he was willing to take.

Who knows? He might just be the next big news story.

Walking along the line of raptors, all four of them enclosed in their huge metal muzzles, made him feel big. They were in his control now. So what if he needed Jones to instruct them. Walsh would credit the man, in tiny writing underneath a photograph of himself with the beasts, preferably one where Jones had been cropped out due to a misprint in the scientific journal he was sure his decision would make.

His team were busy fixing cameras to the reptiles, the headband on all of them as tight as they could make them in order to stop them losing the expensive equipment. One mercenary, dressed heel to toe in black, operated the tablet like device that offered a live view of what the raptors were seeing, whilst the other fiddled rather nervously with the optics. Walsh managed to walk past two raptors before the one they called Delta began growling, almost dog-like at his approach, so he stopped with a smug grin.

“Hey! Hey!” Walsh crouched to eye level with the raptor, ignoring her snarls as he snapped his fingers to get her attention. “Right here,” he yelled in her enclosed face. The mercenary beside Delta snorted a laugh and turned the tablet he was holding around until Walsh could see himself on the screen. His maw stretched with glee at the sight and he turned back to the cat eyed reptilian. “Yeah, right here.”

“She looks at what she wants,” Liam told Walsh as he came up behind him. The man didn’t even turn away from taunting the raptor and Liam shook his head with a grin. “It’s usually what she wants to eat.”

Walsh didn’t have time to retort as he watched the curl of the raptor’s lips, her jaw muscles twitching in its cage before they both heard the sound of a vehicle approaching. Whoever was driving had their foot to the floor, the engine screaming out for a gear change, and when Walsh stood upright to see what the commotion was, he spotted Killian behind the wheel. The vehicle splashed through a puddle, obscuring the driver’s view, but Walsh could still see the contempt in Killian’s eyes as the car ground to a stop with a screech of its brakes.

“Oh good,” Walsh sneered, planting his hands on his hips. “Daddy’s home.”

“Let me handle this,” Killian snarled as he pushed the door open. He hadn't even let the car stop fully before he threw himself out of the cab and stalked towards Walsh, leaving his door open and the engine still running.

“I don’t think so,” Emma snorted, hopping out of the vehicle after him. She slammed her door and shot Henry a look which he knew meant he was to remain still and where she could see him.

“Jones, finally-,” Walsh began with a toothy grin.

Killian strode forward, angered even more by the smirk on Walsh’s cocky son-of-a-bitch face, and pulled back his arm ready to strike. Walsh had no time to register what was coming before Killian’s balled fist connected with his nose, splitting the skin there straight down the bridge of his nose, reopening the blood vessels inside that hadn’t fully healed from Nolan’s punch.

“Get the hell out of here, and stay away from my animals.” Killian was livid, his hand flexing at his side from the impact with Walsh’s bones, his knuckles instantly hot from the punch that hadn’t, thankfully, opened any of his own skin. Walsh stumbled backwards, only just stopping himself from falling into the wet dirt, both hands clutching his nose as he let out a cry of anguish.

“Walsh, you wanted this to happen, you son of a bitch,” Emma added to Killian’s threat, standing slightly forward of him in case she needed to separate them.

“Oh, Christ,” Walsh scoffed at them both, rubbing the side of his jaw. “How many more people have to die before this mission starts to make sense to you, huh?”

“It’s not a mission,” Killian growled through clenched teeth.

“It’s a field test,” Liam finished for him, appearing beside Emma.

“You’re both wrong,” Walsh snapped, looking between them before focusing his attention of Emma. “This is an In-Gen operation now.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Please.”

“There are going to be cruise ships to get everyone off this island at first light. You’re all going to watch the news tomorrow and it’s going to say how you all saved lives, no no, better yet.” Walsh took a breath, his cheeks rubying from anger, and took a step towards Killian. “About how your animals saved lives.”

Killian didn’t care about the news, and he didn’t care about Walsh, but what he did care about was the thousands of people potentially at risk on the island. He didn’t know where David was being held, but there was no way that he could get to him and stop Walsh from executing his diabolical plan in time. Walsh was a fool, but maybe Killian was even more of a fool for thinking that training dinosaurs to obey commands in isolation was In-Gen’s only end game from their field testing. The idea to release them was ludacris, and with the Indominus heading straight for the main visitor’s centre, more people would die.

Killian looked toward Liam who gave a sigh and planted his hands firmly on his hips as he read his brother’s mind. “They’ve never been out of containment.”

“Aye,” Killian agreed.

“It’s madness!” Liam told him.

“Aye,” Killian nodded, looking down at his feet.

“This is happening with or without you, Jones,” Walsh spat. Killian looked up to meet his gaze and Walsh saw the muscles in his jaw tighten in frustration, but ultimate resolve in his eyes. “Good,” he smirked. “Let’s make a plan.”

For a team that was supposedly taking down an entire animal, the measly eight man team didn’t fill either Killian or Liam with much confidence. They had seen bigger teams defeated by this dinosaur. She was smart and she was ferocious, and they knew that she was learning by experience and adapting to compensate. There wasn’t much more they could try that would surprise her, but she needed to be stopped. Killian had faith in his raptors, even if he didn't have much in the gaggle of shaved heads and bushy beards in from of him.

“We know she is in sector five and heading towards the visitor’s centre,” he announced to the group. They were huddled around a huge desk, a map of the park spread out before them. Two corners were held by two of the men and two more had surrendered their weapons in order to weigh down the paper.

“This is a game we call hide and seek,” Liam told the room, standing arms crossed next to his brother. “It’s essentially a scenting exercise.”

“We’ve done it about a thousand times with these animals, so when they get on target, and they will,” Killian reiterated, eyeballing each man. “You must wait to engage.”

One of the In-Gen mercenaries snorted like he knew better, drawing both of their attention.

“Velociraptors are pack hunters,” Liam snapped. “They like to herd their prey into a kill zone, and when they do that, it will give us a clear shot.”

“Wait for my command before you fire,” Killian asserted. “And give her everything you have. We have one huge fucking target here, gentlemen,” he told them, locking eyes with each and every one of the scarred, battle worn men who thought they knew better. “Do not shoot my raptors.”

“Please,” Liam added quickly.

After the briefing, to give the men time to gear up, Killian walked out to the paddock where the raptors had already been prepped. He walked between them, sorrow and remorse on his face as he looked at each of them in the eye with a silent apology. Charlie, Delta and Echo got instantly excited at the sight of him, knowing that just like when they trained, Killian was the one who fed them at the end of a good exercise. Blue, on the other hand, began to claw at the wall behind her confines, and Killian wondered if she knew that this time things would be different.

“Easy, Blue,” Killian soothed his beta, the dinosaur clearly annoyed at being in her confines when she knew that being so meant a new hunt was about to begin. “Easy,” he whispered, his fingers bumping over the ridges of her skin in an attempt to calm her. Blue’s blinking went from rapid to slightly slower, barely noticeable to anyone else, but Killian saw her acceptance of his words. “There’s a good lass,” he smiled at her and Blue made the affectionate sound of chirping in her throat. “You don’t scare me,” he said softly, adjusting the camera angle of the raptor’s live cam.

“Killian?” Henry’s voice made him straighten up and spin around in the caged area he was in, a sudden panic that Henry might have followed him rushing through him. Henry was standing just outside the bars, dirt covered arms resting against the metal and a look of contemplation of his face. “Is this safe?” Henry nodded to Blue over Killian’s shoulder as he approached. “Setting them loose, I mean.”

Killian heaved a sigh. “No, it’s not.”

The look on Henry’s face made Killian rethink his words, or at least the way he had delivered them, but it was too late to take them back. The sight of the raptors clearly had a different effect on Henry now that he had come into close contact with the Indominus, something that Killian hadn’t failed to recognize. The lad had lost his zest for them, instead content to skulk behind barriers and at a more than safe distance whereas before he was less happy to do so.

“Listen, Henry,” Killian added gently as he let himself out of the compound and pulled the boy into his side as he walked away. “You and I both know this might not work,” he admitted. “Gods, you and I are probably the only people on the forsaken island who know this might not work.” Henry chuckled a little. “But I am going to do everything within my power to keep you safe.”

Henry stumbled a little, squashed so close to Killian, who held him up as they walked.

“What about my mom?” Henry asked shyly.

“I’ve arranged a safe place for you both, you just have to get there.” Killian nodded ahead to where an armoured vehicle was waiting. The huge, thick walled truck was similar to ones that were used to transport money, only this one was clearly used to island purposes now. Killian reached the doors and twisted the handle until the lock sprang free and released the almighty weight of the door. “You just have to drive there.”

Henry looked into the truck. It looked safe, clean and hardly used and as Killian lifted him up into it, the sounds from the mercenaries and world outside seemed to fade away with how thick the walls were. A toolbox at the end was handy as a makeshift seat, and Henry sat down after he had crawled his way to the very back of the truck, right next to a cab window where his mother would talk to him as she drove. A sudden screech from one of the raptors made Henry jump clean out of his skin, his whole body stiffening and his eyes going wide with sudden fear.

“Nothing’s getting in here, right, Killian?” He asked tentatively.

When the boy looked back to him, Killian saw real fear in his eyes, the whites pricked with red where he had obviously, at some point today, sustained a blow to the head. Or maybe it was when he had been thrown over a waterfall into a lagoon of unknown depth. Or maybe it had been when he was busy trying to repair a Jeep twice as old as he was to get back to his mother. To safety. The point was, Killian felt like the boy had already had his fair share of terrors for one day.

“Do you remember that time when you came to my trailer, and you thought there was a predator outside?” Henry’s silence prompted him further. “When you heard that noise from outside and was scared we were going to be eaten?”

“It was the generator,” Henry told him with a pout.

“Aye, it was, but I told you I would protect you.” Killian climbed up into the truck after him, kneeling down in front of the boy who was so busy studying his palms in his lap. “I protected you, right?”

“You mean, how you made a fort out of some pillows and told me that nothing would be able to penetrate the keep as long as I stayed inside,” Henry recalled.

“Aye, lad.” Killian’s lips twitched into a small smile at his own recollection of that incident, when, despite his young age, Henry had been babbling on with the sage of an old soul, until the very moment his generator had made a high pitched cry, just like a raptor, and Killian had remembered his true mentality, including all of the trepidation that comes with having such a young imagination. “See, nothing is going to get you whilst I’m around, alright?”

Henry’s smile faded and Killian wondered what he had said when the boy returned to studying his hands so intently. “But you’re not always going to be around,” Henry mumbled. “My mom-,”

“Yeah, well, leave your mother to me,” Killian said with a reassuring smile. “We’re friends, Henry, and we’ll always be friends, alright? Nothing is going to change that.”

The youngster took a second but finally looked up again when Killian patted him on the knee. “No matter what?” He asked quietly.

“No matter what,” Killian nodded.

Henry launched himself forward without warning, wrapping his arms around Killian and holding on like he might fall if he let go. Killian swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat, the compassion he felt for the boy more than anything he had ever felt for anyone he wasn’t related to. He smoothed his hands over Henry’s shirt, giving him a quick pat on the shoulders that indicated they should part, before ruffling the boy's hair in a final act of affection.

Hopping down out of the truck, Killian kept his smile until the huge doors locked back into place and he wasn’t so sure he would be able to keep his promise after all.

The raptors scuffled around in each of their boxes like hounds in a trap waiting for the bell. They snorted and sniffed through the door thick mesh grilling as Killian walked up and down the line of them holding out the chunk of flesh the Indominus Rex had clawed out of her own body. The tracking beacon was no longer working, but the skin and tissue around it held all the information the raptors would need to find their quarry, all of them already beginning their myriad of chirps and communicative noises they would need to hunt as a pack.

Flood lights on a pursuit vehicle behind them lit up with a buzz, both Jones brothers bathed in the iridescent white the spotlights provided as Killian made his way to the front of the entourage of vehicles. It wouldn’t help, because the second the doors were triggered and the raptors were released, only Killian would be able to keep pace on his motorbike. All of the other support vehicles, including his brother and second trainer, Liam, would fall behind because of the weight of their vehicles, and Killian would be alone.

“You ready, brother?” Killian shouted over the rumble of engines, giving his brother a look over his shoulder.

“No, are you?” Liam replied, giving his brother a nervous look, his hands gripping the handlebars of his quad bike tighter than he should be.

Killian just exhaled, his toes digging into the dirt beside his bike, feet barely touching the ground as the machine inched forward because he was holding the throttle so constantly tight. He watched his breath dance in front of his face, the island falling much cooler tonight than any other, but it would be no help with a cold blooded prey that could thermoregulate. Killian looked off to the left where the new boy who had almost been eaten was perched up high above the raptor boxes, thumb hovering over the warning and release buttons, waiting on the command.

Killian nodded and the warning button was pressed, a siren sounding that indicated the doors were about to open. Killian revved his bike a few times to flood his carburettor with more fuel to warm the engine, before he gave the boy another nod and the boy looked over the railing, nervously watching for the four beasts to emerge as he pressed the button. The doors all sprung open at the same time and the raptors flew out, barely visible in the darkness as they screeched like baying hounds who had just found the scent of a fox.

#jw au #cs ff #cs au #csff #jurassic world au #killian jones #emma swan #henry #not sure on his surname here #happy birthday Krystal!

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crystalwillow · 5 years

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That’s Dr.Valentine To You

[Ethan x MC] (18+ only)

A/N: This imagine includes mature scenes and as the writer I recommend this to the 18+ fandom members. I will be working on a more younger age rated one soon. The theme is Late Valentine’s Celebrations. Also, I know I’m posting this one late but it wasn’t finished as I crashed super early on V-Day and ended up having like 9-11 hours of sleep 😅. But I hope you guys enjoy this one ❤️

It was Valentine’s Day and Casey arrived at work with 2 of her best friends Sienna and Bryce. They walked through the doors holding coffee cups and cookies whilst laughing at a story Bryce was telling them from his high school days. “.... and then out of nowhere he ran out onto the pitch, stark naked and done the full dance. He didn’t know until after that it was on national TV” he laughs as he finishes telling his story, whilst they all clock in and finish their coffees. As they binned their cups and turned to go and get changed a stern voice shouted out from behind them “Valentine. You’re late!” It echoed through the almost empty lobby. They all knew who it was. Dr.Ramsey, and if Casey wasn’t dating him he would definitely sound more harsh right now. They all turned around, Casey digging through her bag as Bryce and Sienna smiled at him as he came to a stop in front of them. “Good morning Dr.Ramsey” Sienna beamed, “Sup dude?” Asked Bryce. Ethan gave them a friendly smile in return and turned to Casey. “Care to explain why you’re late?” He asked. “Uuhhhh yeah. 1 second, it’s in here somewhere........ ah-ha!” She said victoriously and handed him his glasses “you forgot these, the toilet clogged again and the line at the coffee shop was out the door. A down fall of having a 9am start here I suppose.” Casey smiled at him, “oh! I also brought you this” she put her hand in her bag and pulled out one of his favourite cookies and handed it to him “now. I don’t know about you but I have patients to see to and other work to do. See you around Dr.Ramsey” Casey said as she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and rushed off to get changed and start her day. “he’s whipped” Bryce snickered quietly to Sienna before slinking off to get ready for his shift. Leaving Sienna and Ethan to go their separate ways.

2 hours into her shift Casey was rushing through the hallway flicking through a chart as she was on her way to her next patient, when she walked right into someone. “Oh! I’m so sorry” she said quickly catching her stethoscope as it fell from her neck and carried on towards her next room. “But Case-“ Ethan said calling after her softly. But she was gone round the corner before he could say anymore. Saddened he made his way to the nurses station she was at and left his gift there before getting back to work. Later on she returned to the station and was given the gift by another, older nurse who was just about to leave off for the day, “here love. Dr.Ramsey left this here for you. Said you were in a rush earlier” she smiled and pat Casey shoulder softly before leaving the room. Setting her clipboard down Casey get a better grip on the box and opened in carefully. Inside was a shiny new charm in the shape of a the letter ‘C’ for her bracelet she always wore when she was off duty, she smiled as she wiped a tear from her cheek with a sniffle. “I thought you’d like it” she froze in place as she heard Ethan’s gentle voice behind her. She placed the box on the side and threw her arms around his neck “I love it. Thank you” she said happily as he hugged her back tightly. “Ahem... Dr.Valentine?” A nurse spoke from behind them, they broke their hug and turned around. “You’re needed in room 462” the nurse informed her and rushed off. Casey turned back to Ethan and kissed his lips sweetly “I’ll see you later” she said as she pulled away and waved as she rushed away. Ethan smiled, waved back and put her box away in her pigeon hole at the desk then headed back to work.

A few hours later Bryce and Casey were eating lunch in the cafeteria when Ethan entered and got his own lunch & sat at a table. “So... you’re telling me he’s actually got a soft side for real?” Bryce questioned as Casey ate her cheese salad sandwich. “Mhm” she nodded as she swallowed he food “underneath the gruff exterior, is a really kind, sweet and caring man” she answered and took another bite of her food. “And he replaced your charm you broke literally just 3 weeks ago?” Bryce questioned further and again got a nod as a response. “Wow” he commented and Casey giggled. Soon they were clearing away their rubbish and about to get back to work when Bryce spotted Ethan sitting alone looking rather glum and zoned out feeling sorry for him. “Okay let’s go. ... Bryce?... Helloooo? Earth to Lahela. ..... BRYCE!” Casey shouted and got his attention “huh? Yeah, they’re real cute” he said startled and Casey burst out laughing “what???!” She asked “Pandas. They’re cute. I answered your question” he replied, “I didn’t ask what you thought of pandas. I said let’s go.” She chuckled. “Oh. I guess seeing people glum is more of a distraction than I thought” he blushed as he pointed toward Ethan as Casey looks at him quizzically. “Oh... um.. I’ll be 5 minutes. If you see Ines, could you tell her I’m a bit tangled up?” Casey asked, Bryce nodded and headed back to work as Casey walked over to Ethan’s table and sat opposite him. “Hey sweetie” she chirped but Ethan didn’t say a word, just poked at his food. “Come on. Your morning can’t have been that bad could it?” She continued as she out her hand over his and smiled softly as he looked up and met her eye. One look told her all she needed to know. He’d lost a patient. She squeezed his hand tightly and he responded in kind and Ethan let out a rough sight “I just-“ he started but the stopped as he choked on a sob and his eyes welled with tears. “Do you need some air?” Casey asked, after a moment he nodded and the two made their way outside. They crossed the street and sat on the bench just opposite the hospital. “He was doing fine Casey. Everything was brilliant. He was healthy and recovering. Then boom. Just like that... he... he’s gone” Ethan rambled and he slumped forwards putting his head in his hands and sobbing. “Hey... hey it’s going to be alright. I’m here for you” Casey cooed lovingly as she pulled his broad frame closer to her. They sat there for about 10 minutes while Ethan sobbed. Casey felt sorry for him, she had never seen the man she loved so broken, in such a mess like this and it broke her heart. “Hey. You know what would cheer you up?” She asked as Ethan sat up sniffling “what?” He asked dabbing at his eyes with his coat sleeve. “This” Casey stated as she handed him a card and a couple of tissues. He took them and blew his nose before looking at her curiously “go on. Open it” she said pointing to the card in his hands. When he opened it, the most sincere smile spread across his face at the photo on the front. A picture of them together at the baseball game where they saved a Baseball players life. He opened it and some papers fell out. “What’s this?” He asked as he removed the elastic band and flicked through them “one free hug. A free pep talk, workplace only. Kiss me, Please, I need it.” He chuckled at the next one “that is highly inappropriate for the work place Casey Valentine” he smiled at her devilishly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Dr.Ramsey” she replied innocently as she stood up and held out her hand. “Come on. We need to get back. Keep the coupons in your pocket and page me if you want to redeem one” she smiled as he took her hand and they headed back inside.

“Finally! There you are!” Zaid shouted as they entered sharing a kiss “Valentine you’re needed in a meeting in room 521, IMMEDIATELY!” He demanded and Casey rushed off “Love you!” She called back to Ethan as she got in the elevator. “And you were needed in operating theatre 5, almost 45 minutes ago!” Zaid continued ranting as he got closer the Ethan’s face. “DO NOT. Get any closer Zaid.” Ethan spoke authoritatively and Zaid backed off. Later in the day, around 6pm Casey was sitting at the nurses station balancing pencils on her nose. As she was about to successfully add the 5th pencil she jumped at the sudden sound of her pager bleeping. She collected herself and checked who needed her and where, she then grabbed her stethoscope, pen, ID badge and clipped her pager the her trousers and hurried towards the first place she was needed. As she rushed through a hallway a small rectangular box was held out at her, she grabbed it before she bumped into the arm holding it and looked back before she rounded the corner. A small smile playing on her lips as Ethan stood there and mouthed a quick “I love you” before turning round and returning to his work. The rest of Casey’s shift went past in a blur of checking up on patients and running back and forth from the blood lab.

Towards the end of her shift she was walking back from the blood lab to get changed when suddenly she gasped loudly with a small scream, as was pulled into a side room and heard the door lock behind her and then things shoved into place to bolt it shut. Terrified she had a stalker and was about to be killed she cautiously grabbed her stethoscope from her neck making it a loop and started to turn slowly. A low and amused but familiar chuckle sounded as she turned and relief immediately ran through her as she relax a little as she came face to face with Ethan. “You know I’m impressed you grabbed that thing. Anyone else would have just assumed it to be their lover” he said with a certain darkness to his tone, Casey chuckled a little “Well I’m not anyone, Ethan. You know that.” She replied as she placed her stethoscope on the side. “Now what do you wa-“ she started but was interrupted “To redeem this” he replied with urgency as he held one of her hand made coupons out towards her. She took it to see which it was and laughed warmly “I thought this one was highly inappropriate for the workplace?” She said with a cocky look on her face. “Don’t care. I need you Casey. Right now. You’re all I’ve been thinking about the whole of my 20 hour shift. You drive me crazy and I just... I need you” he rambles looking at her with hunger and need. A need that’s hard to say no to “Alright. Qui-“ before she can even finish her sentence, Ethan’s pushed her up again the cabinet kissing her so ferociously she can taste his desperation. “Mmm. Babe” she said as she pulled away to catch her breath, he looked at her quizzically, waiting for her to continue. “One, I was going to say I need to clock out. I’ve actually just finished. And two, you have a condom right?” She asked. He gave her the sexiest most hot smirk she’s ever seen and she was so focused on him that she didn’t notice that her breath caught in her throat. “Am I ever not prepared?” He growled lowly in her ear as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the condom to show her. She smiled and he quickly continued his heated assault on her body. “Mmm, Ethan” she moaned softly as he slid his hand into her trousers, rubbing over her panties as his other hand cupped and entertained on of her breasts. Casey bit her lip as she watched him, seeing the concentration on his face. He removed his hands and she groaned in disappointment “Ethaaannnn” he smirked as he unbuckled his belt and dropped his trousers, revealing the thick outlines of his hardened dick causing Casey to automatically fall to her knees “oh god.” She whispered “you’re so hard for me already” she continued as she teasingly rubbed him through his boxers causing him to throw his head back with a low throaty moan. Casey quickly pulled down his boxers allowing his dick to spring free, another moan escaped his lips as she started stroking his hardened length before wrapping her lips around it and starting to suck. “Ohhhhhh. Mmmm fuck. Ahhhh yes.” Ethan moaned as Casey sucked and swirled her tongue around his dick whilst her hands gently massaged his balls. As soon as she pulled away from his dick, Ethan pulled her up by the arm and stripped her of her clothes, sitting her on a chair he dragged in with him and lowered himself to between her legs. “My turn” he said lowly, his eyes dark with hunger. As his mouth made contact Casey gasped and moaned with pleasure “mmmnnnn. Fuck yes.” She continued to let out little breathy moans as Ethan continued his pleasurable assault on her pussy. Not being able to hold off any longer Ethan grabs the condom, ripping open it’s packaging and sliding it on. Soon he’s lining himself up with Casey, looking deep into her eyes. They stare at each other for a moment before a gaspy moan escapes Casey’s lips as Ethan pushes himself inside and starts to thrust. Soon they’re both moaning, sweaty messes as Ethan pulls out and gives Casey a quick kiss, pulling her up and sitting on the chair. A smirk played onto Casey face as she stood over him lowering herself down onto his dick a starting to ride.

Both moaning as quietly as they could at the pleasure that ran through their bodies. A few hot and heavy moments later Ethan picked up his pace, causing Casey to let out a louder moan as how good it felt with her pocket vibrator held against her clit. “Oohhh fuck Ethan yes!” She screamed as her head rolled backwards. Soon he was pulling out and ripping the condom off and binning it, “You want my cum baby?” He asked smiling cockily, already knowing the answer as Casey fell to her knees “suck my cock” he demanded and Casey obeyed sucking harshly on his cock as he let out a string of hissed and whispered moans “oh yeah. Uuhhhhhh. Ssssss, just like that babygirl. Mmmm I’m gonna cum” he moaned lowly as Casey pulled back and opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out a little ready to catch his load “you look so pretty down there with flushed cheeks Casey. So pretty & so fucking sexy” he whispered as he closed his eyes moaning as he came into Casey’s mouth. She swallowed and collected what missed with her finger, swiping it into her mouth a swallowing before sucking his dick a little more and standing up to kiss him.

They stood there for a few moments catching their breath and enjoying each others presence. After a few moments Ethan started to quietly chuckle to himself, “what’s funny?” Casey asked quietly as she drew shapes on his chest “nothing. I just... I just had workplace sex for the first time. I showered a woman with gifts on Valentine’s Day, whilst we were both working. I have a beautiful girlfriend who means the world to me. And she gave me a card and some coupons that were hand-made, because she may or may not have known that she’s the only gift I need. She’s helping me open myself back up to the world and life. I’m opening my heart to her and that’s scary. But I feel.... I feel.... happy.” He says sweetly as he strokes Casey’s hair and she sniffles snd holds back tears at his sweetness. “Ethaaannn.” She whined “you’re gonna make me cry. What’s got you all so sentimental and mushy?” She continued to ask. “You have Casey. You came in here a year ago, caught my eye and drove me crazy for the entire year. In more ways than one and now where here. Standing in a supply cupboard as a couple, half naked after having sex. I only have one question” he said as he pulled his pants back up, zipping and buttoning them up before rebuckling his belt. “Shoot.” Casey replied as she picked up her bra. “What have you done to me Casey?” He asked as he moved close to her and fastened her bra hooks. “What do you mean?” She questioned as she slid her scrubs shirt back on over her head. “Well I’m now flocked by people and called friendly. Not a cold-hearted bastard” he explained and she sighed and he unbarricaded and unlocked the door whilst she tied her shoes. “You were never a cold-hearted bastard. You were just hurt & misunderstood. With many people unwilling to get to know the real you underneath that hurt. All I’ve done is brought the real you to the surface” she answered as they turned off the light and exited the cupboard and walked to the end of the corridor “well.. I’m this way” she said pointing left before running a hand through his sex-tousled hair, smoothing it out. “I’ll see you in a bit then Casey-poo” he smiled returning the gesture and resting his hand on her face. She leaned into his warm touch before reluctantly pulling away “yeah. In a bit” She said softly as she turned away, taking a few steps before stopping and turning back “Oh an um Dr.Ramsey!” She called out stopping him before he turned the corner. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she smiled mischievously “we’re in the workplace so that’s Dr.Valentine to you, sir” she shouted down the hall. He laughed and shook his head good naturedly before carrying on down the hall.

15 minutes later Casey exited the main hospital doors to a couple of whoops and cheers. “What?” She said to herself and turned around to see Bryce and Jackie sitting round the statue with a flushed Ethan looking at you apologetically and she knew they’d talked out of him what they had just done moments before. And to be completely honest, she wasn’t mad at him for telling them. I mean he was practically glowing, walking on clouds and grinning like a kid in a candy store. She swatted Ethan’s arm playfully and the four of them made their way home to the apartment block they lived in.

#pixelberry #pixelberry choices #choices stories you play #choices game #choices #playchoices #pixelberry open heart #pb open heart #choices app #choices open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #bryce lahela #sienna trinh #jackie varma

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emotionalsupportfiction · 5 years

Text

Something really bummed me out so when life gives you lemons… write stuff about it right? I admit this is more of a... “I just want to comfort myself” fic or Drabble but I still wanted to share

How would RGB comfort their crush in certain situations. Scenario is overthinking another person’s reaction. I have a preference for writing scenarios where the reader is the crush rather than an established relationship (BECAUSE I LOVE THE PINING. Its my favorite trope flavor!!), hmmmmmmmmmmm….

Also warning... I give really stupid nicknames, you’ll know what I’m talking about soon.

Python

Python tried as his best to read the message displayed on your screen as objectively as he could. He didn’t know your childhood best friend personally so there was hesitation on his end to say anything negative about them. He glanced at you sitting on the bleachers, then returned his focus on message.

—

You: sent an image

You: BESH! BESH! remember that competition I joined??? the writer’s thingy! well I WON. i thought i’d get an honorary mention but i got first place!

Their response came after thirty minutes

Besh<3: oh that’s great congrats

—

A bit dry, even for him, but he wasn’t about to jump to conclusions. You on the other hand rode that overthinking train hard and fast. More tears started streaming down your face, your sleeves could barely keep up with their flow.

“Maybe I’m overthinking things. I just I don’t know…” you managed to say through the stream of tears. “Ya expected a different reaction?” you nodded at his input.

He rubbed the back of his neck, he hated seeing you cry, double this time around since that writer’s competition meant a lot to you. Python witnessed how much effort you put into your submission, you even asked him to read it. You had talent, he’d told you time and time again but you always second guessed yourself.

Getting you to join the competition was a collective effort from him, Forsyth, Lukas, and your best friend, so even he was stumped with their flat reaction. He handed your phone back and pulled out a few more tissues, wiping your tears with them. “Geez sunshine, I ain’t gonna pretend I know what’s up with your bestie.” He sat himself right beside you on the bleachers, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “Maybe you could ask them later? Get their side of the story first, I get that this stings. This is your big win and you wanna celebrate it with them.”

“Am I being selfish? I want them to be happy with me, for me. Maybe I’m asking too much? Maybe… my win means nothing…”

“Hey.” You turned your attention to him, more tears streaming down your face. Python reached out and wiped away the waterworks as best he could while a sigh escaped his lips. “You worked your butt off for that piece, its your time to shine, and shine you did. A victory party is in order, enjoy yourself, easier said than done given the situation but sunshine… don’t let one person rain on your parade m’kay?” he opened his arms slightly, motioning if you wanted a hug. You went in for a quick side hug then pulled away. “Sunshine…” he lightly tapped his knee against yours a few times “I ain’t the best stand-in for your best friend but I’m here for you. We could grab a bite to eat after class. Let’s drag Fors and Lukas into our little celebration if you’re up to it eh? Whaddya say?” he tapped his knee against your while wiggling his eye brows at you.

Hard to refuse that offer, seeing how much effort Python put into cheering you up. Your schoolmate always looked overworked and tired, a bit grumpy too. Like if you wasted his time he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you off but after getting to know him, he really did care about his friends and was supportive in his own special way. “A little party sounds like a great idea Py…” talking to him lifted some of the anxiety and sadness you were feeling, its nice to be reminded that there are other people out there who are rooting for you.

—

Later that night, after the victory party, you followed Python’s advice and calmly messaged your best friend.

You: hey besh, i want to talk to you about something , its been on my mind for awhile

It took a while for them to respond

Besh<3: what about?

You: remember when I texted you about my win? i don’t want to sound demanding but i just want to be honest. i was kinda disappointed with your response. kinda expecting you to be happier for me but something tells me you have something on your mind… you wouldn’t reply like that to me.

Besh<3: …

Besh<3: oh besh… i just didn’t want to ruin your moment. i really am happy for your win but a lot of things happened around the time you messaged me.

You: hey… talk to me okay? what’s going on?

Besh<3: well… we rushed Gouda to the vet cause he just refused to eat anything

Now that made sense, Gouda was their cat they’d had for as long as you could remember, no wonder they weren’t as enthusiastic.

Besh<3: vet said it could be old age and we might have to put him down

Besh<3: i really wanted to be happy for you. i’m so sorry, i should’ve tried to be happy for you. please forgive me…

You: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?

You: OMG BESH, Gouda is family! No! No! don’t apologize, you had a lot going on. i should apologize for not checking up on you first

Besh<3: i’m sorry…

You: i’m sorry too… i felt like something was off with your message but i went ahead and started overthinking things

Besh<3: i don’t want to play blame games besh but i am happy you opened up to me about your feelings. this could’ve been avoided if i’d been more open about what was going on my end

Besh<3: i just want you to know i’m so happy for you

Besh<3: you worked hard on that and you deserve first place

You: ;A; BBBBBEEEEEEEEESSSSSH!!!! i’m sorry for not checking up on you first

You: i want to give you a hug so bad right now! is it alright to ask about Gouda? its totally fine if you don’t want to talk about him. wanna FaceTime? i’m here for you okay, need to cry it out over the phone id gladly listen okay?

They FaceTimed you, you both had a good cry and talked for over an hour. That call made you feel a lot better and they promised to keep you updated on Gouda’s condition.

—

AAAsunshine: hey py-py thanks for cheering me up. talked to my bestie, they had some stuff going on but we sorted it out

mightyanaconda: glad to hear it sunshine and happy to help

AAAsunshine: ill see you at school tomorrow, night cobra

mightyanaconda: ugh… i have to see your face again tomorrow??

mightyanaconda: JK

mightyanaconda: ait see ya and sweet dreams sunshine 😘

mightyanaconda: btw just wanna say this. congrats on your win sunshine. ya worked hard and you deserve the win m’kay? yar a winner sunshine

AAAsunshine: ooooh praise from you??

mightyanaconda: heh savour it, praise from me is worth more than bitcoin 😎

AAAsunshine: 😒😒😒

AAAsunshine: wow such praise much wow. anyways, thanks again cottonmouth. night night

mightyanaconda: happy to serve… i guess. Sweet dreams 😉😘

Forsyth

Fosryth couldn’t have been happier for you, while you didn’t win the school talent show both the Glee club and Chorale group were battling it out to convince you to join either of them. All you wanted to do in that moment was to savour your accomplishment. Stage performance had always given you anxiety but their was this desire in you to perform as well. Fosryth, your sister, Lukas, and even Python had advised you to give it a shot, you had talent after all and that was worth sharing with the world.

You couldn’t help but smile at both the Glee and Chorale leaders but “I’ll have to think about it” was your response to their passionate invitations, Forsyth had to politely ask them to leave after they’d begun heckling you once more.

Once your “recruiters” left you poked Forsyth on the cheek “Thank you Fors.” You said in a sing-song manner, he came in for a big hug “Congratulations! I haven’t the clue why you didn’t win first place!! But you were amazing on stage!” he released you and took the guitar case from you.

“Oh you exaggerate! But I’m glad that’s over with, it wasn’t so bad.” You giggled to yourself “I might even try it again.”

You could feel Forsyth beaming with excitement “If that’s the case, the next time we have school event and in need of an intermission number you’ll be first on the list! I promise that! Why I’ll even plan more school events so you can perform more!!” he balled his fist in excitement. Without skipping a beat Forsyth changed the direction of the conversation “Oh! Do you want to stop by the café before going home? Just a small celebration, I know you must be tired but I’d really like to celebrate…” he paused for a bit, a very faint blush painting his cheeks ”… This with you.” He finished his sentence sheepishly

Either you were too dense or didn’t want to color Forsyth’s thoughtfulness. He treated everyone cordially and was always happy to help so you had assumed he was this nice to everyone. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, making you focus elsewhere.

—

mightyanaconda: sent a video

mightyanaconda: here’s a short video of your number bubbles, its got all the good bits in it

mightyanaconda: if ya want the full vid let me know

bubz: thank you python~

—

Your sister had always been your supporter ever since you were children. She wasn’t musically gifted herself so when you picked up singing and guitar, she backed you up by 2000%. That video would thrill her

You: sent a video

You: hey sis eat your heart out, your younger sibling’s a star!!

Focusing your attention back on Forsyth who’d been waiting patiently for your response, he gripped the handle of your guitar case nervously “I’m so sorry Forsyth.” you rubbed his arm “Python just send me the vid. I just had to send off to my sister right away about the café thing, I’d love to but don’t you want to drop off the guitar case at my place first?”

“Oh oh! Don’t you worry about me! I can carry this around.” He lifted the case like a dump bell. You silently admired how he had just flexed his rather toned arms at you but you more worried about accidentally breaking the guitar.

“I’m sure you’ve lifted heavier things Fors but I’d like to keep that as safe as possible? Minimize chances of damage.” He turned beet red. “I didn’t mean to-! Your things are important and I’d want to avoid anything that would damage-“ you pressed two finger on his lips “I get it Forsyth, its fine.” You smiled to reassure him

—

You set your case at the corner of your apartment’s living room and decided to check your phone as you made your exit. “Weird.” You thought, your sister had seen your message but no response came. Was your performance so dazzling that it left her speechless? You were sure the green haired bouncing ball of energy outside would agree but something about this didn’t settle well with you. Flipping through your contacts, you dialed your sister’s home phone right away but there was no answer. Your face began to dark as you stepped out the door, greeting Forsyth with a serious expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“Maybe I’m just overthinking things but she hasn’t responded to me, I wonder if she’s okay?”

“Your sister I take it?” you nodded in response while you gave her cellphone a ring. Your call went straight to voice mail that prompted you to give her a call a few more times. After six called she finally picked up

“What do you want?” that’s not the greeting you had hoped for, she sounded really irritated

“Uh…” there was a negative vibe that seeped through the call but you tried your best to remain chipper “I sent you the video of my number for the talent show. I did it! Finally –“ you heard an exasperated sigh from the other side, stopping you from saying anything else.

“Look… you picked a really bad time. I’m just not in the mood right now okay?” that broke your heart, you were expecting her to be happier and excited like Forsyth but that wasn’t the case. Sadness and disappointed slowly began turning into mild anger.

“I don’t get you… you’ve been pushing me to do this since we were kids and now you just…”

She cut you off with another sigh that was much louder “I told you now is a bad time okay? Just leave me alone for a bit okay!?” and with that your sister hung up.

Forsyth tried his best to fish out his tissues to catch your falling tears but you’d already started crying a river.

—

He wasn’t sure how to comfort you, he had no words and he was careful not to say anything mean or negative about your sibling. The only thing he could offer you was a hug and you clung to him, crying it out into his shoulder.

“I shouldn’t be this upset!” you were a blubbering mess “Its just a stupid performance, I’m blowing it out of proportion like a spoiled brat!!”

“Its understandable that you’d be upset. Your performance is NOT stupid or unworthy of praise! Don’t discredit yourself like that!” he hugged you even tighter, he could feel you getting hiccups from crying so much.

You pulled away, wiping both tears and snot off your face with another tissue. Your living was now littered with used tissues and another one was added to the pile “Was it wrong for me to expect her to be happy for me?”

“NO!” he shook his head furiously “I don’t know what’s going on with your sister but…” he took a long pause to gather his thoughts “You were amazing while you were performing. You’ve got both the talent and the passion for it, it really shows. The way you put so much effort when you practice and the emotion your voice carries when you sing. A voice like that should be shared with the world if you ask me so I’m really happy you went ahead and performed in spite of your nervousness. I’m really, truly proud of you.” He hugged you again, it was warm, sincere, and comforting. “I’ll… always be one of your adoring fans.”

Forsyth realized how over the top and mushy what he just said was, his face burned. “I-I-I know what else we can do to help you feel better! We never got to go to café, I’ll step out for a bit and grab some food there! I’ll come back of course!” he quickly let you go, grabbed his jacket and made a mad dash for the door. He was redder than a tomato, heart drumming rapidly against his chest.

—

You had very little time to process what had just happened, right on cue your phone started buzzing. You checked the screen and saw your sister’s name, you took a deep breath before answering the call.

“He-hello?”

“Hey… I’m really sorry about earlier. You could tell I was angry but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

You felt the tears well up once more “I should’ve been more sensitive to you, I could tell by your voice you weren’t in the mood, should’ve just given you sometime and talked to you once you were ready.”

“Nope kiddo, this is all on me. I suck at being your number 1 fan but I’m proud of you. You’ve moved on from singing on top of the bed to singing on an actual stage.” That was fond childhood memory, you both would pretend your parents’ bed was a stage or stadium, and you lip sync to your favourite songs while your sister pretended to be a fan in the crowd. “I watched the video, its not the full video so you better send me that so I can put that on repeat! You did an even better job at the song than the original artist! Can I put it on my tiktok and make you famous?” you could tell she was doing her best to make up for her outburst a while ago.

“Aw c’mon that’s laying it on too thick.” You breathed in deeply as you held the phone closer to your ear “Hey… I am worried about you, you know that right? So what’s up on your end?” you heard her scoff on the other side

“Don’t worry about that for now, I’ll fill you in later. I don’t want to think about anything negative and just want to celebrate this with you!” a beat passed “Also… I’m really curious who that green haired guy is in the video… your boyfriend? When did you learn to keep juicy secrets from me?”

Boyfriend? Green hair? Only Forsyth came to mind and then the memory of him holding you close and getting all sappy a while ago rushed through head. A hot blush raged across your face “He-HE isn’t my boyfriend!” you managed to sputter out

“Hohoho! He seems quite taken by you!” the relentless teasing continued

“What makes you say that?!” you tried to fan yourself to calm down the blush.

“Seriously? You saw the video right?”

Actually, you hadn’t watched the video of your performance. You swiped out from the call and checked the video Python had sent you. It started normal enough, you in frame, the video would cut out to a different portion of your performance but one segment really stood out. Who would’ve guessed that Python would mischievously add a clip of his best friend gushing about you.

“Oh…” you heard Forsyth sigh affectionately in the video “They sound like an angel Python. I can’t take my eyes off them… I could watch and listen to them all day and night…” the video transitioned back to you on stage.

You could hear your sister making kissy sounds on the other side of the line while laughing hard. Embarrassed beyond reason, you tried your best to clear things up with your sister. Forsyth could come back any minute with the food and you didn’t want to get caught talking about him. Your sister continued to tease you and ask you to call her back once you were done with your “date”. Circumstance must’ve been playing tricks on you, Forsyth so conveniently returned at that moment with food.

“Hoh? You left the door unlocked? I’ve returned with food though, sorry I took so long. I passed by another shop and bought you something from there as well.” You could hear your sister cackling maniacally before hanging up. Keeping calm after seeing the video was going to be challenge but you managed to have a small food party and update Forsyth that you and your sister were okay now. As it was getting late, he said he’d have to go but not before giving you one last hug. You bonked yourself on the head for being so oblivious to the possibility of him having feelings for you.

—

Superman: Happy to announce I’ve made it back home! I’m glad I was able to cheer you up even a little bit. I’m even happier to hear you’ve spoken to your sister.

You: Glad you’re home safe! Thanks Forsyth, I’d probably be sulking all night long if it wasn’t for you

Superman: I’d do anything to cheer you up. I’ll even act like a clown if it means putting a smile on your face!

You: Don’t over do it green bean.

You: Oh, I spoke with my sister. Apparently, she lost her job that’s why she was all bummed out.

Superman: !!!

Superman: Maybe I could help her out with job hunting? Although my contacts are from around our area, is she particular about the location?

You: Thanks Fors but my sis has a plan and sent her resume to several prospective employers. I appreciate the effort and concern though

Superman: Well anything to help you out

Superman: I mean anything to help someone in need out

You: I’m heading in for the night. Forsyth, thank you so much for being there for me, you’re the sweetest and the best. Night night. 😙

Superman: 😳

Superman: Sleep well and sweet dreams, can’t wait to see you tomorrow!

Superman: UH I mean, its always great to see you because I know you’re okay and not sick… and… and

Superman: You know what… I’ll just stop talking… Good night.

Lukas

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” Lukas gave you a gentle smile “I read your paper, your passion and grasp of the topic shined through. Professor Evans echoes my opinion, you wrote an excellent paper.” You couldn’t help but stare at the post-it your professor stuck on your hard copy.

“Your final research summary paper was an excellent application of all the concepts we’ve learned in class. I want to congratulate you on your effort and dedication, you’ve earned the A+ and, if you’d allow me, I’d like to add your work to a journal I’m working on. You will be fully credited of course, its just my personal collection of student’s work.”

You’d lost count at how many times you’d re-read the note, how many times you’d replayed the commendations. The high you were feeling was difficult to complain and you found yourself tugging Lukas’ sleeve “You helped me too! You proofread my drafts and pointed out areas of improvement. Professor also commended your paper!” he shook his head in response

“My input was probably only worth two-percent of your mark, everything else was your hard work. With that being said our A’s could only mean we’ve passed the course with flying colours.”

“That calls for a celebration! So another coffee party or…” you fished out your phone and hurriedly looked up something up “Do you want to try this place out?” he inched closer to you to look at your screen “This place has started selling coffee jelly but they’ve got other items on the menu.”

His eyes perked up at the word “coffee”, his favourite “drug” of choice “I do like the sound of that, I’ll just drop off something at the learning center and we can head out. I believe you don’t have anymore classes for the day?” you gave him a thumbs up in response and told him you’d wait for him outside the school. Perfect opportunity for you to text your cousin about your “little” academic victory. You’d always been close with your cousin, granted that you grew up together. Both of you lived in the same area, so you’d alternate sleepover parties in each other’s houses. For college though, you’d gone to different institutions, you’re cousin chose a place in your hometown while you went to a busier city’s university. Though you’d gone different paths, you still texted each other almost everyday

—

YouAbu: Cuz! I got an A+ on my final psych paper! When I visit for break you better treat me to pizza!

kingkong: What’s new? You’ve always been the smarter one so that isn’t news to me heh 😜

YouAbu: LOL What’s with that? You can’t weasel your way out of treating me with pizza!

kingkong: uh 🤨 why would I reward something that comes naturally to you? Learn to drive stick then come back to me xD

YouAbu: whatever 😒… you owe me pizza🍕🍕

—

What was that about? Everything your cousin said just irritated you for some reason. Granted they always had a certain “edge”, as you would describe it, in the way they talked that didn’t really bother you because you’d gotten used to it through the years. But something about this situation coupled with what they said irritated you.

—

Lukas was far too preoccupied trying to read your mood than enjoy his coffee jelly. He watched as you playing with the metal straw in your mouth as you drummed your fingers on the table. He cleared his throat to break the silence “Something’s bothering you I take it, I’m all ears if you’re willing to share.”

Pushing the metal straw away with your lips as you let out a dry laugh “Last time I checked I’m the one studying therapy…” he quirked an eyebrow at your response but continued to observe you, the way Lukas would look at other people, it always seemed like he was putting others under a microscope. You’d grown used to that habit of his, you didn’t find it off putting at all. “Have you told your family about you’re A?” you quickly changed the subject

“I doubt they’d care. You know my older brother wants nothing to with me, my father on the other hand would simply respond with something along the lines of getting good marks are what’s expected of me.” He gave a smile, the kind that was all show, the kind that masks something underneath.

You could relate to his situation at the moment “I know how that feels…” you took a long sip of your drink “I thought this person would celebrate with me but their reaction simply irritated me.” Stirred your drink with the straw

“Sounds like we only have each other to celebrate our personal victory.” He leaned in a bit “If it helps you take the edge off things, I don’t mind you venting to me.” You slid your phone to him, the exchange between you and your cousin on the screen. Lukas read through it, took a quick glance at you before closing his eyes with a sign. That was your cue, he signalling you to start venting.

“I just… everything they said rubbed me the wrong way. Especially that bit about me getting A’s expected, I don’t just sit down ,write a test or paper then manifest an A.” you tapped the table as you spoke “Good grades don’t just ‘come naturally’ to me Lukas neither does it ‘come naturally’ to you.” you crossed your arms in front of your chest with a huff.

Lukas would be lying if he said he didn’t understand how you felt. “You don’t like it that people have a certain expectation of you.” You nodded in response “But you did expect your cousin to react in a certain way, did you not?” you flashed an angry look at your companion. Did he just defend your cousin? “I don’t mean to exacerbate your irritation. What your cousin just said, that good grades come naturally to you and are to be expected of you, failed to consider all the hard work and effort you put into your studies. As you said, we don’t just sit down and conjure up A’s.”

“What are you getting at Lukas?”

“I don’t know your cousin as personally as you do but I think they’re unaware that you find such comments disagreeable.” He tilted his head

“They’ve known me since we were kids.” He noticed your shoulders tense up as you said this

“You thought they’d react in a certain way and they thought you’d be okay with a comment like that.” He took a bite of his coffee jelly “The best option to take is to talk to them and let them know how they made you feel. The fact that you’re reacting this way, I can only wager a guess that your cousin means a lot to you and you put a great amount of trust in them.”

“Lukas… you’d make a good counsellor.” To which he shrugged “You don’t believe me? Would I lie to you?”

“You wouldn’t… I trust you a great deal, so my expectation is you wouldn’t say anything to deceive me.” He glanced at you before flashing a faint yet genuine smile. This was a rare occurrence, Lukas was showing vulnerability. Though he was very popular and well-liked in school, he didn’t have many friends and had trouble connecting with others. Something you’d observed was that he kept a lot of people at arm’s length and never truly opened up to anyone.

He looked at your sincerely “I think you need to hear this again. Don’t let the words of others undervalue your effort. You are a responsible, intelligent, and a hardworking person, I’m witness to those virtues and I admire you for them. All your successes happen by your own hand and not because you were born to succeed.” After speaking, he clinked his glass to yours. “So for now, let’s ignore those people who don’t understand and let’s celebrate our hard work?”

A smile cracked through your face, Lukas was right. It wasn’t fair to yourself, letting the words of others get you down and spoiling your day. “Thanks Lukas, I’m glad you’re here to celebrate with me.”

—

YouAbu: could we talk for a bit? You said something awhile ago that didn’t settle well with me

kingkong: yeeesh I treat you to pizza m’kay?

YouAbu: its not that, you said good grades are expected of me and that really irritated me for some reason

kingkong: but you’re smart

YouAbu: Cuz… I’m not just smart. I study really hard and put in a lot of work into my schooling. It really hurt me that all my effort was just swept under the rug. I might be coming off as sensitive but I just wanted you to know how I feel

The text bubbles below kept appearing, as if they were typing and re-typing what they wanted to say. Took a minute for them to respond

kingkong: just… growing up you always got good grades and made it look so easy but now I realize its not easy. You were always reading books or going over school stuff

kingkong: and I gotta admit… I was kinda jealous of you’re A+ and let the green-eyed monster talk for me… I’m sorry

YouAbu: Hey… we’re cool and if you ever got the impression that I was showing off or something, I’m sorry for that

kingkong: I don’t mean anything bad with what I’m about to say but cuz, you were born to stand out ya know? You’re smart, killer work ethic, and have a way with words. You’re not showing off, you’re just dazzling peeps by being you

YouAbu: You are laying it on thick there cuz, you might just get away from treating me to a pizza

kingkong: HAHAHAHA that was the plan! But, when you get another A+, what should I say to you?

YouAbu: nothing, just gimme a pizza

kingkong: that’ll break the bank cuz, maybe for every four A+’s I’ll treat you to a pizza

—

You: Hey Lukas thanks again for cheering me up and offering a different take on the situation

LukaJava: That’s no problem, I’m always here for you. How are you and your cousin if you don’t mind me asking?

You: We talked things through and they understood where I was coming from. We had a good laugh after

LukaJava: (“⌒.⌒”)

LukaJava: Glad to hear it

You: Hey Lukas, I didn’t get to say this cause I was so caught up with my troubles

LukaJava: ( ・◇・)？

You: I’m proud of you for getting that A+. We both put our blood, sweat, and tears into our final papers and got our hard earned grades. I know you have a complicated relationship with your family and you don’t open up to a lot of people but I’ll always be here when you need someone to share your achievements with okay?

LukaJava: ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑)

LukaJava: That’s music to my ears. I don’t open up to a lot of people, that’s correct, but I consider you to be one of my closest friends. Your support, friendship, and understanding is worth more than gold to me.

LukaJava: Its getting late though, if my memory serves me well, you have a class tomorrow morning. Best we call it a day. Good night and sweet dreams

LukaJava: |[(*´ｪ`)]|zZＺ

You: Okay Lukas! See you tomorrow, good night and sweet dreams

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machine-gun-casie · 4 years

Text

73 questions.

I was tagged by @wescoasts (just found out what ur url means lol also love you)

I tag @angrylizardjacket @enchantedamusedslightlyconfused @ticketstomydownfall @actinglikethat @machine-gun-colson @storiesforallfandoms @harringtonstudios (ik some of yall have been tagged i just dont have other friends)

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

like a 2

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

kells is gonna be like half these answers #sorrynotsorry

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

...what is that? google says its a tent?

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

uh im not sure but maybe that my grandma almost killed me when i was 6? idk im not a private person

What’s your wakeup ritual?

wake up whenever (woke up at 9pm today? sleep schedule? i dont know her), check phone on the toilet, brush teeth, join family downstairs as they applaud my appearance because they never see me.

What’s your go to bed ritual?

skincare (when im not dying on the inside), watch an episode of something, watch some asmr (dont judge me it helps me sleep), and pass out for 12 hours.

What’s your favorite time of day?

witching hour

Your go to for having a good laugh?

tiktok or my fav youtubers currently cody ko kurtis conner drew gooden and danny gonzalez

Dream country to visit?

im grateful to be well travelled but i wish i stayed in bruges for longer it was so beautiful

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

my last birthday was a surprise party, was pretty surprised

Heels or flats/sneakers?

either heels or adidas nmds literally no in between

Vintage or new?

new

Who do you want to write your obituary?

we dont do those where im from

Style icon?

no one in particular tbh but i do love the soft girl aesthetic

What are three things you can’t live without?

my friends and family, writing, and some sort of order in my life

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

i dont cook but saffron is amazing with everything almost

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

make dinner? no one i would burn it all. have dinner with? kells. #sorrynotsorry

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Failure.

Window or aisle seat?

aisle, i need to pee man

What’s your current TV obsession?

roadies

Favorite app?

tumblr

Secret talent?

i sing sometimes

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

flew a plane

How would you define yourself in three words?

loyal, empathetic, and creative

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

i dont own it but i steal it all the time, my dad’s old jean jacket from niagara falls

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

over sized hoodies

Superpower you would want?

read peoples’ minds and be invisible

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

kells and his story

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

do whatever, literally no one cares.

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

standing up for yourself is not selfish.

A book that everyone should read?

the whole series of unfortunate events. i aspire to be as crazy a writer as lemony snicket

What would you like to be remembered for?

my kindness?

How do you define beauty?

beauty is in the eye of the beholder. what i find beautiful changes everyday

What do you love most about your body?

my lips and my hair and the color of my skin (im like a soft caramel and i like it and im tired of people telling me that it isnt attractive)

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

sleep, sit out in the sun, cuddle if u can

Favourite place to view art?

museums

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

i have no clue

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

piano

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

on the side of my ribcage

Dolphins or koalas?

dolphins

What’s your spirit animal?

a phoenix

Best gift you’ve ever received?

my mom gave me a beautiful gold necklace with my initial in arabic i wear it every day

Best gift you’ve ever given?

i gave this girl a jar full of little slips of paper they were a hundred reasons why i loved her. also one day she was craving these gummies and ringpops and they dont sell those here and i ordered a huge box just for her. we ain’t friends anymore.

What’s your favourite board game?

game of life or battleship

What’s your favourite colour?

blue/pink/yellow

Least favourite colour?

orange

Diamonds or pearls?

diamonds

Drugstore makeup or designer?

both are nice

Blow-dry or air-dry?

air-dry!! love my curls

Pilates or yoga?

sleep

Coffee or tea?

tea

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

moist.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

dark mint chocolate

Stairs or elevator?

elevator

Summer or winter?

summer

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

mangoes

A desert you don’t like?

cant think of any

A skill you’re working on mastering?

typing in arabic and writing angst

Best thing to happen to you today?

we’re living through a pandemic, nothing good happens now

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

that i have an angelic voice

Favorite smell?

orange blossom or rose

Hugs or kisses?

hugs!! i was voted best hugger

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

misconceptions about muslims

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

saw a vlog where two sisters went to gym and i cried cuz i miss my sister

Lipstick or lip gloss?

gloss!!

Sweet or savoury?

sweet

Girl crush?

alessia cara

How you know you’re in love?

idk ive never been

Song you can listen to on repeat?

the break up by kells

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

id rather not

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

becoming an aunt!!

#j talks #mutuals #tumblr games

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impalementation · 5 years

Note

If you're still taking asks, you mentioned you had a defense of Season 7 Spike/Buffy as a writing choice? I would like to read that.

hoo boy. this is another ask that took me forever to answer, sorry about that. i kept trying to write it in a more essay-like way, but i think i’m going to stick to bare-bones bullet points.

for the record, i get, i really do get why people don’t like the idea of a romantic buffy/spike storyline post-season 6. i’m not trying to convince anyone to feel differently, so i don’t know if i’d call this a “defense” exactly. it’s just my attempt to articulate some of what i think the show was doing with buffy and spike in the last three seasons, symbolically speaking, and why there are non-ship-related reasons to like it. (not that there’s anything wrong with having ship-related reasons, but that’s not the content of this post.)

- disclaimer: i was too lazy to put “one might argue” or “in my opinion” in front of everything. just assume i have reasonable humility about the accuracy of anything i’m saying. sometimes i give writers too much credit because it’s more fun that way.

- anyhow

- i see spike as basically the id of the show starting in season 5

- and his character arc over the course of s5-7 is about reckoning with and transforming that id

- in season 5 he was love and death and romantic heroism, but in a perverse, vampiric way. his love was stalkery and selfish. his understanding of death was violent and sexual. his heroism and romantic gestures were done out of a desire to impress, or to flatter his self-image.

- at first, that is

- his love becomes more selfless (cf. intervention onwards), and by the end of the gift he has failed at knightly heroism, and death has become something terrible to him

- buffy may not be selfish in love the way spike is in s5, but she *does* try to keep her family and the people she loves with her. she verges on saying “fuck the world” to keep dawn alive (note that she makes spike dawn’s guardian). dawn, similarly, subverts the natural order to bring their mother back (note that spike helps her). and of course there’s warren and the aprilbot (note that spike gets his own bot).

- buffy also explores the “violent and sexual” side of death in s5 (cf. buffy vs dracula). and she is a classical hero.

- this is all just to support my claim that spike’s the id. that he is consistently associated with that side of things.

- s5 is also responsible for introducing the motif that spike is “beneath” buffy. keep in mind his supplicating, looking-up position in fool for love and during the “i know that i’m a monster” speech in the gift.

- he is the things that buffy considers beneath her.

- the end of season 5 marks the death of romantic heroism. both via buffy’s literal death, and via spike’s disillusionment.

- spike falls from glory’s tower just as buffy does. (more on that here)

- problem is, just because you’ve destroyed one way of understanding or operating in the world, doesn’t mean you have anything to replace it with

- to repeat a line i put in another post, it’s always made complete symbolic sense to me that s6 spike is not the knight he tried to be in s5. because that concept is over with. it died.

- s6 features imagery of buffy “being brought to spike’s level”

- she descends her house stairs towards him in after life, she falls into a grave with him in omwf, falls into the basement with him in smashed, they spend a lot of their time underground, and/or in crypts etc

- in other words, she engages in the things that she considers “beneath” her

- he is her means of self-destruction and disconnection

- but he is also, weirdly, her means of “feeling.” he tells her to “let herself live already” as much as he tells her she “belongs in the dark”

- s6 spends a lot of time emphasizing the fact that spike has no moral identity. it paints him as extremely unreliable. he’s always saying one thing and doing another.

- see: “first i’ll save her, then i’ll kill her”, “why did i do it? why didn’t i do it?”, “i’m sorry…i mean, good”, “trust me” *hides katrina’s body*, etc

- this echoes the ambivalence that all of the other characters have about growing up that season

- i see the ambiguous consent in the spike/buffy relationship as being about buffy’s own ambiguous feelings re: who she is and what she wants

- in other words the contradictions and vacillations in both spike and buffy’s behavior, and in what buffy is using the relationship for are about both of them (but especially buffy) having an unstable sense of self

- the point of seeing red is that buffy is capable of growing past that instability, is capable of saying no and meaning it, but spike is not, because he is soulless. i actually think that buffy stopping spike, after a long moment in which she realizes that he won’t stop himself, is a pretty important part of her arc that season.

- spike getting his soul back in grave tracks symbolically with buffy deciding to live in the world, and willow deciding not to destroy the world

- they’ve committed to having moral identities, to growing up, to being people

- season seven has multiple references to the motif of spike being “beneath” buffy

- eg, the episode title beneath you, or the way spike mutters about “the thing beneath” in the church scene (keep in mind buffy calling him a “thing” throughout s6)

- remember how in conversations with dead people buffy says that she feels “beneath” her friends?

- think it’s also deliberate that spike continues to spend a lot of time in basements. it’s pretty strong symbolism for spike to be in the basement of buffy’s house. not gonna get into house/self symbolism, but it applied to smashed too.

- whedon wrote the church scene in beneath you, the holden scenes in conversations, and also chosen. meaning that it makes a lot of sense to read a continuity between them.

- with that in mind, i see buffy loving spike by the last episode actually as a matter of her loving herself

- the catchphrase of the season is “from beneath you, it devours.” this idea of a devouring “beneathness.” your shame over your id, your shame over your power, your conviction that you’re “beneath,” devouring. eating you up.

- i see buffy’s advocacy re: spike throughout s7 as a direct, deliberate reversal of how she treated him in s6. just as she was determined to see him (read: herself) as a thing in s6, she is determined to see spike in s7 as deserving of forgiveness, as not a thing.

- i actually think it’s completely appropriate that the season humanizes him, because his objectification in s6 was treated as a bad thing, as a symptom of buffy’s self-dehumanization

- it’s important to note that this is not limited to spike. anya, willow, faith, andrew, etc all get forgiveness/atonement/humanization arcs too.

- but i think it’s appropriate that spike is the central figure of this, because s7 is about buffy’s isolation and disconnection, and spike was her means of disconnection, shame, and self-flagellation the season before.

- (but also her yearning for more authentic feelings)

- if spike is the thing “beneath”, if he is—by virtue of being a vampire—something parasitic, something that devours, that the first turns into a mindless devouring thing, then it is important that he become not-a-thing. and that he gives of himself both emotionally in touched and physically in chosen. instead of taking.

- i keep thinking about “to kill this girl, you have to love her”

- spike dies at the moment of buffy’s love, because it’s by finally loving her id that her id is destroyed. or at least, her id’s power over her. it’s also at the moment of buffy’s love that her id is weaponized. transformed into power.

- spike dying kills all the ubervamps too. in other words, all the vampires are dead by the end of the show.

- ie, the shadow, the soulless vampire (spike) transformed itself into nonexistence over the course of three seasons.

- via love, forgiveness, etc.

- buffy is able to resolve the private, internal struggle that her relationship with spike represented

- i actually like that the “kind” of love she feels for him is left ambiguous, because i don’t think that the “kind” of love is the point

- you can decide for yourself whether you agree with all of this, or whether you like it, or whether you think it was well-executed. but i do think this arc is there, and that it has a poetry to it.

#season 7 apologist blogging #s5 #s6 #s7 #spike #buffy

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