#i have been staring at this for like 5 minutes straight i am so touched /pos

[backwzzds]

ೃ⁀➷ 5 in the mornin’, trafalgar law (nsfw)

law never gets mad when you call. even if its to have phone sex with him at 5 in the morning.

only back to drop for my baby daddy’s birthday <3. might feed y’all some more later today i gotta see how tired i am 🙇🏾‍♀️

it nearing 5 in the morning when you’d started to grow restless. usually you pulled all nighters on the night where law had to pull doubles at the hospital, most lasting anywhere from 36 to 48 hours. but no matter how many times he told you to stop waiting up two days straight for him—you didn’t listen.

you were sure that sleep was coming soon. law only worked four days a week, ranging at 96 hours of being head surgeon, and most of that time, you spent it awake, up and waiting for him—you were insane. you checked the time and figured that he’d finally be on his three hour break, permitting him to finally get at least a nap in his office quarters designated for senior doctors.

you began to grow irritable as you felt your body heat up randomly. you couldn’t remember the last time you had sex; it’s been a couple weeks due to how busy both you and law were. though the sun would be coming up soon, you’d felt the sudden urge to masturbate and hopefully release some tension like you usually did in order to sleep, but knew your fingers were nothing in comparison to law’s.

contemplation picked at your brain. you bit your lip, waging a mental war with yourself on what you should do. you were sure law would be napping right now—getting the little bit of sleep he usually did before his next and last surgery at eight in the morning, just a few hours from now. he always answered the phone whenever you called, but you felt so bad for disturbing him, even if it was just to get a nut from the sound of his voice alone.

you decided to try and settle it out yourself in hopes that you could have at least one orgasm before sleep naturally came over you. but with your plush legs spread open to the wall full of pictures of you two, you screwed your eyes shut in frustration when you couldn’t get yourself to cum. twenty minutes had passed by and you were growing annoyed for the lack of a nice orgasm.

finally giving into your nasty desires, you picked up your phone and clicked on law’s contact to facetime, resting the phone on the pillow by your ear, hand still between your hands and rubbing at your clit. you’re breathing heavily when he finally answers.

“hm?” you look over at your phone and notice that law is laying down with near closed eyes, the room to his quarters barely lit. “you alright baby?” his voice is groggy and tired. you felt bad for bothering him.

“i’m sorry,” you choked out. “just wanted to hear your voice is all. go back to sleep.” you’re prepared to hang up and just deal with your orgasm yourself but stopped when law hums in decline.

law opens one eye and furrows his brow as to why he was staring at the ceiling. “it’s alright. you okay?”

you breath out, rubbing your clit at the sound of his voice. even that was enough to get you to cum. “yeah, i’m good. just miss you.”

your man lets out a yawn as he finally sits up a bit and eyes the camera. “i miss you too. you sure you’re okay? you sound like something is bothering you.”

“law, please talk to me,” you whisper softly, “say something sexy, please baby. how was your day at work?”

“it’s fine. had a knee and back surgery today. the back one nearly blew me out from how intricate it was. one wrong move and you could nick an artery in the spinal cord and permanently paralyze the patient…” it doesn’t take long for your doctor boyfriend to hang onto your words once he hears your unsteady breathing grow louder. “you in bed right now?” you hum out a response and nod your head, forgetting he couldn’t see you. now law was more awake as the topic of conversation intrigued him. his voice remains low as he thinks about you in all your glory. “you touching yourself?”

“mhm,” you let out. “keep—keep telling me about your day, baby please.”

“you really couldn’t wait, huh?” he chuckled lowly. it was just like you to be impatient. “thought i told you i’ll deal with you when i get home in a few hours, hm? you know my work days are boring.”

“fuck,” you drew out. it wasn’t unusual for you to be the perverted one in the relationship. law was more of the quiet one but you never had a problem with expressing yourself—oncoming orgasms included. “c-couldn’t wait. g-gonna cum soon.”

your chest is heaving up and down as law responds, dominance slowly peaking into his still hoarse vocie. “alright. you gonna do everything i tell you to, baby?”

you slip your middle finger into your cunt, slowly teasing yourself in hopes of tricking your body into thinking it was law touching you, but your body knew better than that. no one could ever replace the surgeon of death’s hands. “yes daddy, just make me cum please,” you whisper, eyes fully closed now.

the sound of a zipper is being heard from the phone, and you could only assume that law was mirroring your actions in the confinements of his own room, pulling his fat cock out the tent of his pants. with a heavy breath, he mutters, “rub that clit for me. nice and slow, okay, baby? just let me take control.”

you nod your head and do as told, handling your little bud with the utmost care as law would have. a few seconds into doing so, you can’t help but ask, “you touching yourself?”

small grunts and moans from law’s end of the phone tells you all you need to know as he breathes heavily. “no other choice but to,” he grits out, referring to your irresistible personality that only got more attractive during your mutual masturbation sessions. only you could wake the surgeon three hours before his next surgery for some phone sex and an orgasm. “go ahead ‘n put a finger in for me just the way i do it.”

“as long as you rub your thumb over your fat tip,” you whisper, pumping your middle finger in and out of you. “can you do that for me baby? nice and slow.”

“mhm,” law hummed, nodding. “fuck,” he whined lowly. and just like you said, he rolled the D of his right thumb finger right over his reddened tip, sticky with pre-cum as he savored your voice over the phone. “take your tits out. squeeze them just the way you like it.” with your free hand, you opened your robe, revealing your already naked body. “add one more finger.”

you let out a gasp as you feel yourself stretch with the addition of another finger, but not in the same way it does with law’s. “wish i can show you,” you wheeze out. “show you how wet my pussy is for you.”

“i know, mama,” law coos as he talks you through it. “but i’m not there right now so you’re gonna have to work this one out on your own in the mean time. rub your clit clockwise. you know how i do it,”

you frown. “‘s not you, daddy,” you whine, “‘s not gonna work.”

“stop talking and focus,” law’s voice is stern as he practically bites down on his tongue to prevent a loud groan from escaping from his lips. “you wanna call me at 5 in the mornin’ knowin’ i got a surgery to prepare for soon? mhm hmm, shove those fingers up that cunt and be a good girl now.”

you immediately do as told and stuff yourself with another finger. you curve your thumb upward to rub at your clit, causing you to jolt with extra stimulation. “oh fuck,” you whined, kicking ur knees up to the ceiling. you begin to feel a large knot tie in your stomach as you sped up your pace. “keep talking, baby. please.”

“yeah? you like that, mama?” law’s voice is taunting and teasing as he himself begins to lose control of his breathing. “you like it when i talk to you mean like that? you little minx.”

“yes,” you dragged out in a whining tone. “need you so bad, papa, i miss you.” you hadn’t seen your man in four days—of course you were gonna be acting like this.

“fuck,” the young doctor’s straining himself to hear your words. with a few more pumps of his shaft to the sounds of your wet pussy and whiny cries, law finally comes undone, shooting thick ropes of his hot white cum all over his delicate fingers and scrubs.

the proof of his affection continues oozing out the slick red slit of his tip as he bites down on his lip, trying his hardest not to let his sounds travel outside his sleeping quarters. “you gonna cum baby?”

“law, ngh—i’m coming!—“ you’re gasping for air once you finally feel the knot in your stomach come undone once more. fingers soaking up your juices like prunes, your eyes flutter shut when you feel your heart finally slow down. you and your man are both are breathing heavily over the phone when law finally sits up from his position.

“i’m on my way home.”

[mordaciousmurderer]

Sticky and Sweaty

Captain John price x fem!reader smut

CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT MINORS DNI

A/N: Yall just happened to be left alone for a stake out and you’re stuck in the hottest, dampest room. Ok guys i literallt cannot write smut but i am so fucking horny for this man I just HAD TO. asks r open for suggestions ;3

CW/ Fem!Reader, p in v sex, unsafe sex, fingering, porn with plot? a bit of aftercare, praise, price calls you a good girl

-

“Captain, I’m telling ya that nobody will show up. Laswell already ruled this area useless.” You groaned, your knees up to your chest and your back pressed flat against the wall. The two of you had been sitting in the dimly lit attic of a now abandoned safe house. Initial intel stated that the current drug ring they were investigating was doing a drop at this location and there was a chance that there would be hostages involved. Despite more current info saying that we spooked them and the drop was moved, Price insisted that you guys stake out here. Not only was it boring, it must have been at least 100 degrees in the attic.

“Just wait. A bit longer and we’ll pull out.” He was leaning against a table maybe three feet away from you. You could see him tuck his thumbs underneath the traps of his tactical vest.

“Thats what she said. Did you really have to pick the hottest room in the world?” You chuckle, adjusting your position and cringing as you feel your vest stick to your back. Your immature yet somewhat humorous joke was only responded to with an eye roll.

“Watch your mouth Lieutenant. You really can’t handle the heat hm?” He taunts, knowing he was just as sweaty as you. Both of your cheeks were flushed a gentle pink, a result of the temperature as well as the (not so) subtle flirtatious statements that had been thrown back and forth for the last hour.

You can’t help but whine slightly at the teasing statement, too uncomfortable to hold back a sour attitude anymore. “Can I PLEASE take off my vest? Since Ghost and Soap are on overwatch we’ll have a bit of warning if anybody comes up.” you pleaded, moving forward slightly to sit on your knees. Your desires to maintain the professionalism of this mission were fleeting with each bead of sweat that dripped down your temple. You couldn’t help but be painfully aware of being alone with your handsome Captain, one who you had been flirting with for as long as you’d been in the 141, the subtlety fading away with time.

Price pushes himself to stand up straight, stepping ever so slightly closer to you. “And why should I let you do that? Just because it’s a wee bit warm?” He rocks, shifting his weight from the balls of his feet to his heels which makes his chest pop forward slightly. “You’re a big girl, deal with it.”

You felt your thighs involuntarily squeeze together at the name, staring up at him from the floor. You couldn’t help but pout, damn near close to miserable. “Cmon… I know you’re just as hot as me.” You retort slyly.

Price felt himself going mad, taking another step towards you. You had an odd sense of persuasion in your voice, he hardly had the heart to say no to you. You were right, it was way too hot. He would kill to tear his vest off this second. Price purses his lips, “Fine. 5 minutes.” He agrees with a sigh and watches as your eyes light up. He watches as you practically tear the vest off, studying the way your t-shirt soggily clings to the curves of your torso. He bit his lip subtly, not realizing he got caught up in staring.

“Hey.” You interrupt his daze, standing up and setting the vest down on the table he was previously leaning against, coming to settle directly in front of him. “So you only let me take it off so you could get a better look?” You said lightly, a smirk coming across your face.

He stepped even closer, his hands settling on either side of your waist. You felt your heart flutter, this being the first time he’s touched you like this aside from lingering hugs and guiding hands on your lower back. Your hungry eyes met his, suddenly aware of your breathing. “Tell me to stop. Tell me I shouldn’t be doing this.” He mumbles, one hand snaking up your torso and landing to cup your jaw. You tilted your head slightly to press into the touch. “What if I don’t want to?” You respond and the tension in the air climaxes before he leans down, his lips crashing into yours.

Instantly, you kiss back hurriedly and sloppily. He was clearly just as desperate as you were, as he took almost no time to press his tongue into your mouth. His hands roamed your body, grasping your ass firmly, leading you to pull him closer by the straps of his vest. He pulled away slightly, glancing down at it. “Take it off.” you say simply and he pulls it over his head, plopping it next to where you had set yours. It takes maybe a second to reconnect your lips and you two head backwards, your back making contact with the wall you were previously sitting against. You feel your breathing stutter when his thigh splits between your own, pressing upwards.

“Fuck-“ You breath out when he trails down to kiss and nip at your neck, careful not to leave any marks where it’d be visible to the rest of the team. The forbidden nature of this made this all the better. Once again he comes back up to connect your mouths, pressing up against you. His hard on pressed against your lower stomach and you reached down to palm him through his combat pants which was met with a slight groan into your mouth. You felt your arousal pooling between your thighs, his hand coming to wrap around your neck gently.

“Can’t even control myself around you love-“ He breathes heavily, pulling back to fumble with the belt on your pants as you do the same to his. He pushed your pants down to your knees, watching closely as you pulled his cock out. Your eyes stayed locked on his length, pleasantly surprised by the size. You grazed your thumb over the slit, smearing precum over the head and beginning to pump your fist up and down, rotating slightly as you came up.

Price groaned, throwing his head back slightly. Your touch sent shivers up his spine, his mind melting at the slick sounds that filled the room. As much as he wanted to let himself come undone under you, he had other priorities. He gently moved your hand away smiling when you cocked your head to the side in slight confusion. To ease this, he simply slides your panties to the side, revealing your throbbing core to him. He smirked when he heard your breathing hitch as he slid his fingers through your folds, chuckling lowly when he felt your arousal. “Darling you’re absolutely fuckin’ soaked. Must have been all worked up for a while now..” He mutters in your ear.

“Price-“ You whine out, watching as his fingers disappeared between your legs. You whimpered pathetically as he began rubbing circles on your clit, extra sensitive from the prolonged tension. “Please. Please.” You sigh shakily, desperate for him to be inside you.

He shakes his head, slipping two fingers into you and curling them to draw out another moan from you. “Use your words love. What do you want?” He purred, enjoying the way you switched from a stoic soldier to a whining mess. You subconsciously stepped slightly further apart, desperate to feel him. “Fuck me. Just fuck me-“ You choke out and make a small sound of disappointment when he withdraws his fingers from you.

With that he wastes no time in lining himself up with you, briefly sliding the tip between your soaked folds before pressing into you, both of you moaning out in sync. You gripped at the fabric of the shirt on his chest, your brain going blank at the stretch his cock gave you. He set a mind numbingly slow pace, taking his sweet time before he bottoms out inside you, holding that position. You huff, looking back up at him to kiss him again. He begins thrusting into you, moaning into his mouth whenever his cock rams into your sweet spot. The lewd sounds of damn skin against damp skin reverberate throughout the room.

Price growled, not quite fucking you as deep as he’d like. He breaks the kiss to pick you up by your thighs, pressing you flush against the wall to distribute your weight in a way that was comfortable for both of you. It’s now when he starts pressing vigorously into you, helpless whines steadily flowing out of your mouth as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix in the most mouth watering way. “Y’look so beautiful fucked out under me like this.” He utters, groaning as he thrusts into you, feeling your juices drip down him and onto his heavy balls.

It wasn’t long before you felt yourself involuntarily clenching down on his length, approaching your orgasm. “John I’m close.” You whimper out, clinging onto him for dear life. He continues fucking you with the same pace. “Go ahead love, cum on my cock like the good girl you are.” He grinds down a bit, his pubic bone coming to rub your clit which brings your orgasm hurdling through you. You cry out, coming undone all over him as he fucks you through your high. You feel your cunt pulsating and with a few more thrusts he felt himself nearing the edge as well. The way you clenched around him harder than before coaxed his orgasm out of him. He pulls out of you, his cock settling between your two stomachs as ropes of cum shoot out onto both of you.

The two of you sat panting quietly for about ten seconds before he set you down gently, quickly putting his hands back on your waist when your legs slightly buckled beneath you. “Whoa- You okay love?” He asks you gently, one hand coming to cup your cheek. You nod with a smile, leaning in to kiss him once again which he gladly reciprocates. “That was.. Holy fuck.” You grin, your cheeks a steady shade of pink. He can only help but smile back dumbly for a few seconds before he remembers the cum on you guys. He quickly turns to see what he can use to clean up, settling on a couple napkins on the table next to you guys.

He wipes your tummy off gently, you watching him intently as he does. “You did so good. Took me so well.” He coos as he cleans you up, then himself. Once he finishes, you pull your pants back up and he does the same, only to be interrupted by the crackle of comms from the two vests you guys previously discarded.

“Cap, LT, we got two vehicles approachin’ the house.” Ghost’s easily identifiable voice droning through. Price looks down at you with a smirk on his face, adjusting his hat slightly. “Would ya look at that… Guess this building wasn’t so useless after all.” He states plainly, a twinkle in his eyes.

Masterlist

[dollface-yandere]

"only one bed?" you're kidding."

yandere! diego brando x reader

warning; non-consensual touching, yandere and dark themes, suggestive touch, blackmailing, inappropriate use of stand, probably ooc, scratching, kicking

prompt; you stop at a hotel for rest before the next segment of the race. unfortunately; there's only one bed, and you really, really hate the man you're forced to travel with.

"that'll be.." the receptionist at the hotel paused to look you in the eyes. "oh, could i ask real quick? the sign outside says the competitors from the race are allowed free lodging.. that is still a thing, no?"

diego put one hand on his hip and turned his heel, his other arm reaching for his pockets. you stood anxiously next to him, teetering up and down on your toes waiting for the lady to assign you a room and give you the key.

you kept yourself reminded of how he treated you earlier that day. the toe of his leather boots roughly dug into your cheek, rubbing a combination of dirt, sand, and gravel into your face while his other foot weighed down on your back to prevent you from standing back up.

his rough voice quieted down for that moment. he removed his foot from your back, kneeling down to your eye level, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling your face up. he brought dry lips to your ear, keeping his voice low so that if anybody did find you two, nobody'd see.

your eyes widened while he whispered in your ear your biggest secret that you hadn't told any other racers. you still don't know how he found out. was he spying on you the previous night? or did he pay someone to figure it out and tell him?

the receptionist's voice seemed to have brought you back out of your trance. "my apologies, i should have known you were racers! theres one last room, it should be a double bed. the number is 115, on the third floor. and, here are your keys."

she stuck out her hand, holding a keyring with a singluar key on it. the key appeared gold with the numbers "115" engraved into the dirty, worn brass.

with each step up the stairs, you felt uneasy. all you wanted was to get a room and get to bed. diego took his sweet time unlocking the door, too. after what felt like 5 minutes, you sighed in relief, even if it only took one minute. you and diego entered the room. everything was perfectly decorated and pristine. one slight issue; there was only one bed.

"no goddamn way," you huffed out and paused, dropping your belongings on the floor by your feet, "no way am i sharing a bed with you."

there must have been a mix-up. the lady downstairs said there was only one room left with two beds. it appears she was wrong, because you and diego stood before a hotel room with not two, but one single bed. the registration counter was closed now, you were lucky enough to get a room before she closed up for the night.

now, it's 10:34pm. you've been arguing back and forth with diego about sleeping arrangements for 2 minutes now. "i'm not gonna share a bed with you. horses will fly before i lay next to your stupid ass."

after arguing and arguing, you found yourself lying on your side facing the wall, while diego stared up at the ceiling. you could feel him shift positions. "what are you doing? just go to bed." a hand with.. what felt like much longer nails than diego had, rested on your waist, moving up and down your sides.

"don't be like that." he trailed his hand up your body for another minute until you had enough. "damn it, stop that! i can't sleep with you doing.." your voice stopped suddenly after you turned around.

he looked.. different. his nails were more like sharp claws, his tongue was unusally long, and a bandage peeled off his face to reveal a long slit from his mouth through half of his cheek. sharp teeth replaced his usual straight, normal teeth.

"what's the matter? i thought you wanted to sleep." diego smirked with confidence while he placed another hand on your shoulder, his claws scratching into your skin while you stared in horror.

[kaybreezy3000]

The Anti Hero's Pitfall of Arrogance

Five Hargreeves / Female OC

What happens when you disarm an exceptionally arrogant person, one that is a self-absorbed, teleporting, teenaged superhero?

The answer is not great things.

Get ready for a taste of Five like you've never had before...

(Chapters 5, 6, and 7 post to complete this story)

- This AU starts off when the Hargreeves are 16 and but is based off the show. It's going to give you a look inside Five's mind at that time of his life and not all of it is good, but I promise it's not all bad. I always make sure to give our boy his day to shine.

Warnings and Tags: sexually explicit content, flashbacks, teen bad behavior, survival horror, bad decisions, regret, POV Five, aggression issues, suffering, humor and angst and fluff, redemption, sweet Five and mean Five in same story, Dolores is a factor, hurt Number Five, Five makes fun and dirty check lists in this one, Young Five is really something, Plot twists and many tags left off to avoid spoiling the story.

Link to Chapters 1 and 2.

Link to Chapters 3 and 4

Chapter Five: Snowman

Phoebe Leroux = Undeniably Extraordinary.

When we were sixteen, I never even asked her last name before I enthusiastically felt her up and then aggressively stuck my dick down her throat.

Five Hargreeves = World’s biggest asshole.

My ax slams down through the log, the pieces fling to the side, falling in the pile at my feet.

Thanks to Phoebe, I still have both my feet, and I also have my life.

It has only been three months since the day she found me, and it’s already falling below zero at night and it’s not much better during the day. It went from a world so hot you could hardly breathe, to so cold I feel like I’m going to freeze my nuts off every time I’m out here.

With temperatures consistently this low, we are rapidly depleting our indoor supply of firewood. There’s plenty here thanks to our location and the home’s prior occupant and their neurotic preparations, but if we are going to keep our fire lit, one of us needs to come out and get more wood several times a day.

Even with Fee’s special warming powers, heating the one room cabin all night is something she’s not capable of. The second she’s asleep, she can’t control the temperature of anything other than herself and the things she’s touching. Unless we want to wake up in a room that feels like an icebox, we need a fire going in our stone hearth.

I slam the heavy ax back down again, splitting my last piece of wood, then I look back towards the house. The sun fell below the horizon over a half hour ago, but it was never sunny during the day and hasn’t been for two weeks. I had hardly noticed it was getting dark, but now I see that the ghostly shadows from the last hazy light are stretching across the yard, out from the equally haunted looking ruined forest to the west.

I’m sure Phoebe is wondering what in the hell is taking me so long. We have plenty of branches and larger dry pieces of wood already cut up. All I needed to do was go get them and that should have taken less than five minutes. I saw her peeping out the window, checking on me a few times, but I pretended that I didn’t see her.

Deliberately delaying going in, I slowly start stacking the wood in the drum of the wheelbarrow. I hate making her do everything, so I came out, but it’s also because I needed to clear my head. Unfortunately, even this cold fucking air isn’t helping set me straight.

Nothing is lately.

Once I go in, it’s going to be another one of those long nights, and the colder it gets, the closer we need to be and the harder this is.

Cart loaded; I stare blankly at the ground. I still can’t bring myself to go in. I am engulfed in a cloud of white vapor as I release another frazzled sigh. Arms dangling sulkily at my sides, I begin to aimlessly pace the open area of our yard.

After tossing a few rotten branches out into the brush pile, I wander over to the greenhouse and start inspecting a window I repaired over a month ago.

Fee finding his place, which is an entire survivalist’s estate that was featured on one of those dooms’ day preppers TV shows, once again proves how sheltered I was growing up, and how little I know about what regular people do in their free time. I never would have found this place without her and that’s because I never would have watched reality TV shows even if dad would have let us watch TV. Fee only saw the show once, but that was enough for her to remember it.

I glance up, looking back at the cabin again. I can see the glow of the oil lamp on our small kitchen table inside. She left it going for me. It’s like a signal, telling me I should get my skinny ass inside and stop being so stupid.

Still dawdling, I make my way around the glass grow-house, testing window frames that I already know will hold up just fine in the vicious winter winds since they already withstood the massive shockwaves that tore through this area five years ago.

When Fee found me, I was in Nowheresville Pennsylvania, but I was almost in bum-fuck West Virginia, which is where we are now at our posh hillbilly haven. This cabin was strategically built into the side of a rock cliff, and it is fully intact thanks to its fortified construction and because of its shielded location in the Alleghanian Mountains. The vast store of supplies that were stored underground are plentiful and unspoiled. There’s even a freshwater spring on property that tests in a much safer drinking range than anything I have had in the last five years. This is also where Fee found the off-road jeep that she used to recuse me.

This place is a huge blessing, but so is she. With Fee by my side, my life would be a million times easier no matter where I was.

During my first days here, I learned so many things about her, one being that she hadn’t been in this area very long which made her and I crossing paths even more of a miracle. The other thing I discovered, though I should have already known, is that she is inherently kind and compassionate and extremely sharp. She can take any problem and find a viable solution, continually surprising me with how fast and cleverly she can think outside the small box of numbers and figures my mind is used to operating in.

Staggering into the cabin that first night, I was completely at her mercy. I was still too weak to get up without her help and she pretty much had to carry me again.

She did everything for me. I never had to ask.

One of the nicest things she did (and there were many) was she washed my appallingly soiled and pathetically boney body. I hadn’t properly washed for weeks, so she had her work cut out for her. She cleaned and rewrapped my injured foot while I was knocked out from her glorious pain meds, but the rest happened the next morning after I woke up, after she made sure I ate my fill of breakfast first. She did it all in such a way to let me keep what was left of my dignity. Inch by inch, limb by limb, and other areas too, she kept me mostly covered as she bathed me with warm, soapy wash clothes.

With as close to death as I had been, it felt like I had died and went to heaven having that done to me.

She rinsed me and helped me dress in comfortable, fresh clothing. She ensured I ate again and even carefully cleaned and reclothed Dolores, always making sure she was by me, but never saying anything about my intense emotional and deep physical connection to her.

Fee could plainly see that I was broken and not just on the outside. She never pushed me to talk, or in any other way. She just took care of me.

It wasn’t until almost a week later that I lamely attempted to explain Dolores to her by revealing that I found her just two days after burying my family. If it wasn’t bad enough that I cried in front of Fee several times already, when I talked about those first days, I cried again. She still never showed any signs of judgment about my mind falling apart so fast, or my need to cling to something outside of me to pretend that I wasn’t alone.

Fee was so sweet about it all, and I still don’t know how to grasp that or everything I am feeling about her.

She always makes it her priority to take care of me. Even letting me be the one to come out here in the bitter cold took some convincing. I insisted that I had to take a leak, otherwise I knew she would have stuffed her feet in her boots and came out without even needing layer upon layer to keep her warm like I do.

Fee coddles me, but she has her reasons. One being that, since she found me, I am the weak link in this relationship.

That has to change.

Straightening my back, I walk back over to the loaded wheelbarrow. Digging the heels of my boots into the frozen ground, I thrust the handles down, forcing the weight onto the front tire so I can get it moving forward.

“Fuck,” I groan because it feels like every muscle in my body is being put to the test just to keep the stupid thing level. “I fucking hate wheelbarrows, they don’t make any fucking sense!” I shout out to no one because I’m nuts. At least I’m getting stronger again, but I have a long way to go in the brain department and physically.

It took three days after nearly dying before I could walk normally on my own. Phoebe would stay with me most of the time if I was awake, keeping me company by reading to me until I dozed off again. It was as if she knew my mind was badly troubled by things I couldn’t articulate and she was trying her best to help me run from my demons even for just a little while.

Sadly, I couldn't escape the horrors I had been through no matter how much I enjoyed listening to the soothing rhythm of her voice.

On day two, when I was doing so much better, and I was awake most of the day. We talked more and more, but mostly I listened. I had little to tell her other than where I’d been since coming here, which wasn’t very far compared to her.

I learned that after our first fateful encounter, Fee went on to do many things, including getting her citizenship. Life wasn’t easy for her or what many would call conventional, but like she said the day I met her, she is extremely resourceful, and like now, she got things done no matter what and she survived.

Phoebe traveled the world, often with hardly a dime to her name. She had many jobs related to performing and music, and many that didn’t. She is the kind that radiates happiness, and people naturally gravitate to that, so there were plenty of interesting friends made along the way and even some people that sound like they were more than friends, though she didn't elaborate on those relationships. I had nothing similar to share, so I just listened, imagining her free spiritedly drifting through her life.

During our many talks, Fee has always been forthcoming, but she always keeps her stories positive in nature and I think it’s for my benefit. She doesn’t want to make me think of more bad things. But even with my lack of understanding people, I can tell that her inability to settle any one place very long wasn’t simply because she didn’t want to. It was out of necessity.  

She virtually had nothing, and she never told anyone about what she could do. Only her mother had known. Putting herself out there like that in the public eye could have changed everything for her when it came to money worries, but it also would have meant living a life under constant scrutiny and expectations. She’d seen with my family what kind of exploitation could happen if suddenly the world knew you had superpowers.

Fee was scared to tell anyone the truth and that prevented anyone from ever really knowing her.

She wanted a normal life, but sadly it seems you can’t escape the isolation of being born this way. Looking back, I realize that is in part why she felt it was so important to tell me about 'others' with powers; she had hoped telling me meant she wouldn't have to be alone. She was searching for someone that would understand and that she could trust.

It makes me sick thinking about that and how badly I messed that up.

The night the world ended, Phoebe was alone because she often was. She was backcountry camping along the Colorado River. Her campsite was in an open box canyon so there was nothing out there to crush her. She was laying there, contemplating her next moves in life, but she was also stargazing. To her horror, she saw what looked like our moon breaking apart. Then even more shocking, fire started raining down from the sky in all directions.

She told me how terrified she was and how that feeling didn’t get any better in the days after that. She survived because thanks to her powers, she can’t burn. She didn’t even know that till then, and that’s because in those first few hours after the initial blast, fire was taking everything that hadn’t already been destroyed. That part she said very little about and I can only imagine why. I arrived the next day and things and people were still burning but not like I am sure they were the day before.

The moon being blown apart makes no sense scientifically, but I believe her that's what happened. There’s no way our government agencies would have missed an enormous asteroid or a comet big enough to do that. That means something unnatural happened and I can’t help thinking my family was involved in some way. It’s just too coincidental that my home was blown to hell the day before, and that Luther was holding on to that eyeball.

After telling Phoebe my thoughts on that, it became our mutual goal to get back and do anything we can to try and save them, and all of humanity. It’s a lofty goal, but we both see no other way.

Now more than ever, I need to figure out a way to travel back, because I am certain that there is something I can do about what happened. Now I don’t need to just pull myself back through the unknowns of time, I need to bring her along for the ride too. There’s no way I’d leave her. She is my friend and my teacher, showing me how to survive in this place far better than I was before.

In what feels even more important, Fee shows me every day what it means to be loved.

Like she was that night I met her in that damp and dirty warehouse, Phoebe is all brightness and tenderness in this world of murky nothingness. Just watching her as we go about our days together makes my heart feel so heavy. Sometimes she leaves me speechless by simply smiling at me in that pretty way of hers while she's doing the most mundane tasks.

Anytime she shows me affection, it’s always innocently, but…

Yeah.

Yup, coming outside didn’t help. It’s just prolonging the inevitable.

I can’t hide out here forever and I am shivering so hard now my damn teeth are clattering together.

Getting on with it, I unload part of the wood by the door, then heave the sling full of the rest up on my shoulder before teetering up the steps with it. I am sure that by now Fee is done getting ready for bed, meaning she’s in bed.

Our bed…

Fuck, fuck, triple times a million fucks.

Dolores knows where my mind is at, and as always, she understands, but she also thinks I am being ridiculous. She loves Fee and has since day one. When we are out scavenging, Phoebe always makes a point to find little treasures to bring back for Dolores.

They are big time buddies now.

Fee decorates Dolores like she’s the queen of the apocalypse, dressing her in expensive pieces of jewelry and excessively feminine tops with sparkles and sequins. Basically, anything goes if it makes no sense in the conditions we are living in, and it’s the exact opposite of what either of us wear daily. I didn’t even realize Dolores liked all that stuff until Fee started doing that with her. Then I saw how happy it makes them both.

Fee treats Dolores like she’s real. But not since the first days, when I was still very sick, have I talked to or touched Dolores so openly when Fee was around. I know that a part of her doing this kind of thing is to try to make me feel like it’s okay if I want to do it too. But things have drastically changed for Dolores and I since Fee found us, and my normal mode of conduct with her has been strictly kept for when Fee is not around, which isn’t very often. I haven’t slept with Dolores in my arms since that first fevered night.

I love her but doing that with her, or doing much of anything else that I feel the urge to do feels very wrong now.

I do speak with Dolores all the time, but we keep our conversations private. Dolores knows I’m having a hard time navigating this bizarre situation, but she’s adamant that I open myself up to Fee. Like so many things, I don’t know how or if I should. I don’t want to ruin what we have.

Phoebe hasn’t let on that she has any feelings for me in other way than the friendly kind of way, and I can’t blame her. Back when she was head over heels for me, which for her was a long time ago, I wasn’t anything anyone else would look twice at. Here, even as the only man on Earth, I am clearly not a catch. She already gave me a chance even though she shouldn’t have, and I epically blew it, and now I’m even more of a mess than I was at sixteen. In a normal situation, a beautiful, mature woman like Fee would want nothing to do with a lanky, immature fuck-up like me.

I’d be laughing if this ironic twist of fate weren’t so fucking heart wrenching. My heart hurts when I think about how much I care about Fee.

I am completely crushing on the girl who once crushed on me and got her heart stomped on for it.

“Fuck,” I mumble when I realize my frozen fingers won’t tighten around the doorknob enough to turn it. “Fuck you, you fucking-"

It finally clicks open, and I ram my head into it to push the door wide. With my giant load of wood, I stumble from the weight of it, then unsteadily kick the door closed behind me and loudly tromp over to the fireplace letting my sack tumble to the floor.

When I look across the small room, I can see that Fee is trying not to laugh over my graceless performance.

“Sorry,” I sheepishly offer, along with a lopsided grin. If my face wasn’t already bright red from the blistering cold, it would be now.

Sitting up straighter with her back against her pile of pillows, Fee lowers her book. “We weren’t trying to go to sleep yet, there’s no need to apologize for crashing through like the abominable snowman. Do you need some help with all that?”

By ‘we’ weren’t sleeping yet, Fee is referring to Dolores, who is sitting, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket on the chair next to my side of the bed, just like she is every night.

Yes. I sleep between two beautiful women, and I can’t touch either one the way I want.

Awesome.

Now Dolores is trying not to giggle at me.

I shake my head at her and covey my thoughts on that silently. I’m glad you’re entertained by my blue balls, sweetheart. 

After biting my glove to pull it off my numb hand, I spit it on the floor, then awkwardly clear my throat as I look back at Fee. “Ah, no. I’m good. Thank you though.”

The 'ahh' I stammered on just came out several octaves higher than normal because why not look like more of a moron?

Shucking my other glove off, I put my shaking hands down by the flames, bringing some immediate feeling back to them, then I busy myself with throwing more logs on, restacking the rest next to the wall and cleaning up the big mess I just made.

When I am done with all that and I’m over by the door again, kicking off my boots and peeling off my layers, I notice that Fee set her book on the side table and is staring at me with a cute but very devious look.

“We were getting a little worried in here. I thought maybe you accidently got too close when you were pissing on your favorite clothesline pole and that you accidentally froze your dick to it.”

Another thing I learned very quickly about Fee is that she’s got a wonderfully crude sense of humor.

My cheeks stretch and my lips pull to the side again. “No, I didn’t freeze my dick to a metal pole, but I did almost freeze.”

Freed of my layers, and only in fleece sleep pants and a sweatshirt, instead of blinking there, I sprint over to the bed, vaulting over the footboard with childlike enthusiasm.

The bed springs springing back, give Fee a good bounce and I knew this would make her laugh. That was part of the point of it, but it’s also because I am so flippin cold. Hiding outside was to avoid going to bed with her, but the reality is, this is exactly where I want to be.

I want it way too much, hence a major part of my problem.

Once I have crawled up next to her, I waste no time shuffling my body under the mound of blankets. When my freezing foot locks down over hers, she jolts from the chilly assault, but she doesn’t pull away because she never does. Within seconds, my entire body is warming back up. Currents of heat brush up my leg from our point of contact, spreading through my entire body as I melt into the mattress with a sigh of relief.

“Yowza! You are so cold! Why didn’t you just let me go out there? You could have pissed in that lovely chamber pot, or did your business and just came back in. You were out there for almost an hour, what the heck were you thinking?”

Unenthusiastically, I look over at the pot she’s referring to. I have used the pot. It was in my first days here when I didn’t want to make her carry me outside.

Looking at her overly sourly, I say, “I hate that thing and I won’t use it.”

She chuckles at that. “You hate a lot of things, one of them being cold, but you just willingly went out in it and stayed out when you didn’t need to. You are such a stubborn asshat. Sometimes I think you do things like this just to drive me nuts. It’s like your secret superpower that no one else ever was lucky enough to be privy to.” She sneaks a hand under the blankets and lightly prods my side, to provoke me further.

I want to ‘provoke’ her right back, but instead I frown at her.

She merely raises a brow, brining it on even more. “You know, Five, you could have just whacked-off in here?”

A puff of air rushes out of my chest and I think my face just lit on fire, but I stick my head further out of the blankets anyway, defiantly jutting my chin at her.

“My family was privy to my assholery, and I wasn’t whacking off. I was chopping wood and you know it.”

I seriously can’t think of anything better to retaliate with, and that’s probably because I have whacked off plenty of times while wandering around outside with her on my mind, and talking about jerking it right now isn’t helping me get my shit together or think with even the tiniest bit of intelligence.

Her body quakes with laughter as I narrow my eyes at her. “Yeah. Playing with your wood, like I said," she beautifully chackles.

Fully rolling over in her direction, I do my best pouty face. She gives me one right back.

“Miss, Leroux, you are awful.” I have to bite the inside of my cheek to hold in my smile.

There’s scratching around under the blankets, and I can feel Fee fishing around until she finds my hand closest to her where it’s tucked under my tightly crossed arms. Her warm fingers wrap around mine as she offers a much less naughty look.

My stomach flutters from her touch and my heart rate kicks up accordingly.

“I am sorry. I’m just messing with you because you make it so darn easy. You know I love you, Five. I wouldn’t want to be here with any other asshat than you, and that’s only partly because you’re the special teleporting kind that is going to get us out of this apocalyptic shit hole.”

I can’t help my truly contented smile from hearing her say that she loves me. I know it’s not in that way, but I love that she says it, and how she’s looking at me right now, and that she’s touching me for reasons other than to warm me up, but it’s doing that too despite her intentions.

Phoebe’s strawberry blonde hair is tied back in her nightly braid, but the wavey pieces framing her face are just begging for me to tuck them back behind her ears. Just the memory of brushing her hair back so I could see her better while she pleasured me, how soft everything about her feels, how those pink lips felt against my own, and on my…

Fuck me, I need to go back outside.

I could lay here all night and stare at her while fighting boners, but I force myself to roll on my back again and she does the same about a minute later.

I feel her wiggle closer, causing our hips to touch as we both gaze up at the ceiling, watching the fire light dance on the beams.

“Someday we’ll leave this place,” I breathe. Getting us out of this is the most important thing. Her unintentionally reminding me of that important point has my fucked-up mind on my most recent equations and time dilation sequences rather than on her lips and my dick, and that’s a very good thing. “I’ll figure it out. I promise, I will.”

“I know you will because you are this planet's one and only, time traveling mastermind. Number Five Hargreeves, you are our only hope.” She softly laughs at me as she pulls her hand away from mine but not before sneaking in a quick tickle.

Man, do I want to tickle her, but I’m scared I won’t be able to stop there.

“Okay, that’s it,” I say squirming a little as her nails dig in between my ribs. “You’ve been allotted your making fun of Five time slot for the day. It’s time to be quiet. Keep those tiny magical heater feet of yours on me and go to bed, mean girl.” I say it with disgruntled authority, but I can’t help the full smile I am wearing.  

“You like it when I tease you.”

I do, but my response is nothing more than a dismissive huff that makes her let out another girly little giggle.

I peek her direction just in time to see her eyes shutting. She’s still smiling that curious smile of hers that I can only conclude means that she is happy and that makes me happy. What I want doesn’t matter when it comes to more than this.

I carefully move my arm out from under the bedding, taking Dolores’s hand in mine.

“Just tell her. It will be okay. Everything is okay now that we have her,” she whispers.

My tired eyes close and the fuzzy black and white stars start dancing behind my lids, but those lips and that smile will forever be imprinted in my mind and not even sleep lets me forget them. Soon, images and of the feel of her will fill my dreams, they always do.

------Sleepy, happy Five....

----------

The thing about winter in the Apocalypse is it’s even more unbearable to be outside than normal. We hardly ever go out lately, but that wasn’t stopping me this morning when I woke pre-dawn, determined to complete a very important mission.

Christmas is only a few days away and I have nothing for Fee. We are almost always together when scavenging and that’s for safety and practicality reasons, but today I snuck out early while she was still sleeping.

Months ago, while out foraging with her, I found a guitar in a case in the remains of someone’s bedroom. I didn’t even think to tell her about it or take it because I was so used to being solely focused on finding and bringing back only what I needed to survive. Looking back on that now, and the fact that I know Fee loves to play and is very good at it, I can’t believe I didn’t even consider taking it for her. It’s the perfect gift.

I wrote a note, stating that I’d be gone for an hour or so. I was hoping that she wouldn’t even wake up until I was back.

That was three hours ago now.

Even before I got down to the valley floor and started making my way through the deep snow to the closest town, the storm clouds were ominously moving in from the east and the freezing winds were cutting through the mask protecting my face. Being I’m on the western side of the range, I had no way of knowing how bad things were going to get, but even that is not a great excuse for putting myself in this situation.

The snow is falling fast, and the gusts are blowing it in such a way that I can hardly see a few feet in front of me at times. I think I’m on the right path, maybe?

Stopping, I clomp my snowshoes around in a circle formation as I recheck where I am. North, South, East, West, it all looks the same right now. Blinking won’t even get me back since I can’t orient myself.

“Shit.”

Fee is going to be livid.

Checking my compass and readjusting the strap on the case I have slung on my back, I start trudging uphill again, moving East. I’m going approximately the right direction. I’m sure I will see a landmark of some kind soon.

Not for over another hour do I know for certain I’m getting close. By then, I am too exhausted to pull off a jump.

By the time I am heading up the twisting inclined path that is the road into what is now Fee and my property, I have been gone a total of six and half hours.

Fee has the door of the cabin open even before I can make it to the snow buried steps.

Raising my stiff arm, I push my ski goggles up with my frozen mitten. Phoebe crashes into me, flinging her arms around me even though I am covered in ice and snow.

“Fee, I’m so-"

My snow blindness begins to clear after a few slow blinks.

Oh, shit. She’s crying.

“I thought you were gone! I looked everywhere. There weren’t even any tracks!” she hysterically sobs.

She’s holding me so tight that I can feel her shaking and I know it’s not from the cold.

“I’d never leave you,” I say, holding her right back, but it’s more like I’m pathetically slumped around her smaller frame.

Fuck, I feel like such a bastard.

With her tears streaking down her cheeks and the snow sprinkling her hair in downy white, she lets me go, but only enough to start towing me inside, loudly slamming the door behind us as I tiredly slouch into the closest kitchen chair.

I can hardly move, and I know I’m in deep shit.

Fee wipes at her eyes, as she kneels in front of me. Still sniffling, she immediately starts unstrapping my boots out of my snowshoes. She looks back up at me once my boots are thrown off, but she doesn’t release my sore feet from her hot hands. I wiggle my toes to give her confirmation that I didn’t turn them into two blocks of ice with my ill-timed expedition.

“What were you thinking? You could have died out there.” She releases my feet, and her hands come up to rub her temples.

I don’t know what to say. I feel so bad. She looks so hurt and that’s not at all what I wanted.

“I am sorry, I wanted to-"

I stop, taking a deeply defeated breath as my shame sets in even more. Dropping my head, I reach back and pull the frozen strap off my shoulder, bringing the hard black guitar case around in front of her.

Fee looks confused, meaning she’s so upset that she hadn’t even noticed it yet.

She takes it and I slowly lean back as I watch her unlatch the two clasps holding it closed. Her eyes run over the polished black acoustic guitar inside. All its strings are still intact, but even if they aren’t good, there are several other packages of new ones inside the case along with a few other things someone like her would know how to use.

“I wanted to get you a present. Merry early Christmas, Fee.”

Now, after seeing how anguished she is, this hardly seems like a good explanation for what I did, but it’s all I have.

Her brows pull down as her lips push out in a quivering pout.

Shit, she’s crying again.

Before I know it, Phoebe sets my gift aside, pushes up from the floor and starts draping herself around me again, only this time she’s got me pinned to the chair with her bottom in my lap, her spread legs dangled at my sides, and her magical warm lips pressing into mine.

I have wanted this for so long, but I can’t even begin to comprehend what is happening right now.

Worried that I’m going to scare her off, I very gradually turn my face up to get a better angle to kiss her back.

Her hips subtly rub up against mine in response and even through my sub-zero snow gear, I can feel it in all the right, or maybe wrong ways.

“Mmmmm- mmmfff!”

I am not even close to being able to hold that embarrassingly high-pitched moan in as she pushes herself closer and her hands move inside my hood, her hot fingers forcing their way under the heavy scarf still wrapped around neck.

Not sure what to do, I very hesitantly bring my hands up on her waist, slowly moving back down her curves until they are wrapped behind her, gently holding her bottom.

Despite my best efforts to contain myself, my tongue has a mind of its own and it darts out in my increasingly excited state, but she doesn't seem to mind. Fee letting me kiss her like this feels so good that my damn head feels like it could roll right off my shoulders. If not for her fingers splayed out on the back of my skull as they lightly tug at my hair, I'm sure it would. Phoebe clearly has me secured where she wants me.

Fuck… She wants me.

Maybe?

Yes.

Obviously.

I think…

“Fff-fff-e-Fee?”

“Hmm?” she hums back, still not stopping with her kisses. Now they are moving from my lips to my jaw, and-

My legs both spontaneously tense and my hands inside my mittens clench as I try to latch on to her ass even tighter.

“Ahh-ya-you- Ahhhh.” My words fail to land in a way that’s coherent as her mouth moves to what she can get of my neck.

Holy fuck, this feels amazing and it’s getting so hot in here or maybe it’s just me. Fuck. It’s both. I wish I wasn’t wearing all this crap.

My little goddess of fire and ice works me over a little more before she graces me with her stunning blue eyes gazing into my own much less alluring and very droopy ones.

Her plump pink lips spread in a coy looking smile as she speaks. “Thank you for the gift.”

“You like it?”

She nods a yes as she bites her lower lip with her upper teeth.

“Am I out of the doghouse then?” I question, even though I feel pretty certain I am.

Fee softly laughs at my question and maybe even at my attempt at a funny expression, which consists of me trying to conjure up some major puppy dog eyes for her. “You were never in it. I was just so scared I’d lost you.”

“I am so sorry. I never met to scare you. I would never leave you, Fee.” I pause and my words come out shaking as I say them but it’s only because of how much I mean them. “I’m hopelessly in love with you, Phoebe. You are everything to me.”

Suddenly her face looks so sad again and I desperately want to take back what I just said.

My eyes frantically search hers, but I don’t know what I’m seeing in them.

“I wanted to give you something special. You have done so much for me,” I further explain, because I don’t know what to say or do.

Her normally sure voice cracks just a little. “All I want is you, Five. You are my special, I thought you knew that by now.”

“You want me?”

“Yes. I love you. I want to be there for you, and with you in every way if you are ready for it. I thought you understood that.”

Oh.

My eyes dart around as my brain tries to figure out what I have been missing all these months. Dolores is sitting on the tiny sofa next to the fireplace and the moment I lay eyes on her, she rolls her eyes at me, giving me one of her ‘I told you so looks.’

Before I can come up with an answer to that, Fee kisses me again and as soon as she does, my mind can do nothing but think of her lips and how they feel moving with my own.

Fee’s hands make fast work of unzipping my outer coat but when they dig inside and she finds that I am basically like a human Russian Doll, because I have layer upon layer of clothing on, she bursts out laughing even as I am trying to entice her into another round of tongue war.

“Five, I think you need to remove some of this, or you are going to spontaneously combust.”

“Too late, I think I am already on fire, Amore mio.” I boldly lift my hips, while pulling her up against the bulge in my pants that I am not even sure she knows is there because of the sheer amount of thermal insulation between us. Fee actually looks a little nervous as she glances over my shoulder, looking out the window at the storm for a second or two before locking eyes with me again. “Was that okay?” I worriedly ask.

“Yes.”

I don’t think a one-word answer could ever give me more relief, but then again, I just finally declared my love for her and she isn’t running for the hills, and I also just realized she loves me more than as a friend, so I’m pretty much on cloud nine thousand nine hundred and ninety zillion.

"Amore mio, posso portarti al nostro letto?" I question as I glance over at our bed.    (My love, can I take you to our bed?)

“Five, you must be confused. You know I don’t speak your and Dolores’s secret love language.”

True. Fee doesn’t speak Italian, that’s one of the reasons I use it when speaking to Dolores. That way this firey little redhead can’t understand what we are talking about.

I don’t speak French fluently, but Fee does, so for her, I’ll give it a whirl.

“Mon amour, puis-je vous livrer à notre lit?” I nervously bite my lip as I wait for her reply. (My love, may I deliver you to our bed?)

Fee’s beautiful blue eyes wrinkle at the corners. “Oui.”

Not wanting to let her go yet, I summon all my strength as I start to stand but lifting her up with me turns out way easier than I thought because she’s so light, and the moment she realizes what I’m doing, she locks her legs around my waist.

My heart is fucking racing from adrenalin as carry her across the small room and drop her down on the bed.

“Are you sure?”

“Sì, il mio cuore,” she whispers as she looks back up at me with a wicked smirk.   (Yes, my heart.)

That was a big wonderful yes, and to my surprise, it was in perfect Italian, meaning Phoebe has been bull shitting me for months saying she doesn’t understand a word I say to Dolores. As my mind is reeling, thinking of all the little things she’s no doubt been picking up on, her hands fall on the hem of her sweater, pulling it up over her head, before tossing it over one of the bed posts.

I stop breathing and I think my heart stops all together.

There are those perfect breasts I wanted to see so badly when my hands were on them five years ago.

Not thinking, with only my outer coat off and my snow pants unzipped and pulled part way down, I stumble over them in my haste to get closer to her again.

Fee laughs when I crash land on the bed but try to play it off like I meant to do it.

“Oh my God, Five. I love having you around, you are such a sexy klutz.”

Eyes fixed on her, I anxiously yank my pants off and start working on my two extra layers of sweaters. “Baby, I’m here for whatever you need, even if it’s your daily dose of comic relief. Just don’t tell anyone that I let you get away with all your cute teasing shit or I'll be forced to punish you.”

She laughs again. “Har-har, Mr. Scary. There’s no one to tell other than Dolores and she already knows you’re a big closet softy and she thinks your hilarious too.”

Having pulled my head out of my last heavy layer, I hesitate, trying to decide if I should take of my cotton long sleeve.

Fuck it.  Fee has seen the good, the bad and the ugly and she still loves me for some reason. Right now, I am pretty sure my hair is sticking straight up, and she looks like she could care less about how stupid I look.

“Hey,” I sternly admonish, “Dolores doesn’t pick on me. That’s your thing and yours alone, and it's high time you get fucked with.” I hit her back with the most menacing look I can.

Laying splayed out waiting for me in all her bare breasted glory, Fee merely shrugs as if she is not at all intimated and she knows that’s not true about Dolores. The damn thing of it is, my fucked-up brain is instantly wondering what kinds of things Dolores tells her about me when I’m not around, because that was lie. Dolores fucks with me all the time.

Thinking of Dolores again, I spontaneously blink over to her, quickly facing her body that way so she’s a part of this too. She’s been waiting for it, so there’s no way I’m going to deny my lovely loyal lady.

When I blink back, I land on top of Fee with my elbows supporting the weight from my upper half, but my lower half is flush with hers, pressing into the space between her legs with intent. I immediately start kissing her again and she lets me, but she also seems to be unable to stop laughing, so I halt my attack.

“What was that all about?” she breathlessly asks as she looks up at me with her beautiful smile and her rosy cheeks illuminating the rest of her beauty to a starling degree.

Pulling together all the confidence I can, I quirk a brow at her as I move my hand closer to her cheek, letting my fingers tenderly brush against it. “Dolores likes to watch. Didn’t she tell you that?”

“Watch what?” she pushes back sounding so innocent but the look in her eyes is anything but.

“You want to see?”

“Yes,” she taunts as if she thinks she can call my bluff.

Wrong.

My body is so revved-up from pent up horniness, and this siren of a woman lying under me just asked for it, and she knows me in ways no one else ever will, so I figure why not. I have little to no shame left.

With no warning, I drop my face down against her neck, as I drive my cock down between her legs.

“Oh, fuck me, I love your legs!” I groan out with my nose pressed up just under her ear as my hand at her side moves to grip her thigh and I rut into her.

Fee lets out a sound of shock over me saying that and doing this, but when it turns into a whimper and her head fall to the side to give me more access, I increase my efforts both with the rock of my hips and my mouth. To answer back to that, she rips one of my hands off the bed, forcing my hot palm down over her breast. That lets me know for sure that she’s more than okay with me showering her with the kinds of affections Dolores is used to, and that in playing out my perversions, I’m actually doing something right.

Letting myself go, I begin kissing her sweet smelling skin any way that I see fit, soft, hard, nips, and licks, it all feels so good, so I grind myself into her harder, my core muscles flexing and my hips moving as if I am fucking her even though I am not inside her and I have never fucked anything other than my hand, her mouth, and too many inanimate objects to count, including hundreds of cushions and pillows, but also sometimes my Dolores.

Phoebe is so soft and responsive, and I know Dolores is seeing all this and loving it, and that is messing with me, but because I’m clearly a warped little bastard, it’s turning me on even more.

Again, with no warning, I stop dry humping Fee, quickly sitting up off her so I can latch on to the tops of her leggings, but I stop short of pulling them down, looking up at her hopefully.

“I want to make you feel good too, will you please show me how?” I ask.

Fee’s wide eyes move from mine, downwards, stopping on my crotch area where my pants are sticking out in a very notable way. 

She giggles at the sweet tent I'm proudly sporting, then says, “You were already doing a pretty nice job of things, but I can teach you if you want. First, you need to take those sweatpants off before you hurt yourself.” 

I glance down at my hard-on, then back at her with a big smirk on my face. “I am very skilled when it comes to sexual rubbing with my clothes on, but I can see your point. You first though."

I purse my lips as I narrow my eyes at her. She responds by lifting her hips so I can pull her leggings off.

Oh fuck. She's wearing red panties!

She had a similar pair on the night I met her. 

Both her brows lift as her grin spreads the more I stare. “Five, sweetie... Take your pants off right now or I'll make you."

“Oh, really,” I cockily taunt back, but I lose all my bravado when she drops her hand between her legs and slowly starts rubbing her fingers over the lacey fabric that is creating a ‘v’ over her mysterious lady parts.

“Yes, really. Now take them off,” Fee orders.

Eyes trained on her hand, I quickly kick them off, then come back to her, on my knees with my hard shaft in hand, at the ready.

“What do I do?”

Her hand slides up and under her panties, pushing them down as her knees come up so she can get them off. The red lace goes flying over my head and boy do I love those red panties, but holy shit do I love them more on the floor.

“First, what you do is, you touch me, like this.” Fee slips her index finger between her folds, pressing the tip down as she slides it up and down, slowly but firmly.

Wetting my lips with my tongue, I flip my head to the side, anxiously flicking my hair out of my eyes as my hand reflexively works my cock.

“Five, it’s unbelievably hot watching you do that while I touch myself but even as good of a student as I know you are, the best way to learn is hands on, not just to observe.”

I need no other invitation. Coming down over her again, the sensation of flesh on flesh has every nerve ending in my body supercharged. As I carefully mold myself to one of her legs, Fee reaches out, taking my shaking hand, placing it where hers had just been and already I am a changed man.

Fuck...

Chapter Six: Ain't No Place for a Hero to Call Home

Holding the woman that you love while you sleep is akin to transcending into a supernatural place where you are lighter than air and all your worries just float away. Waking up next to your lover is even better.

I know that me saying that is a lot like that whimsical crap dad warned me with the day I took off and ended up in here, but just like that crazy sliding along ice then descending blindly as an acorn bullshit that I should have listened to, this is also so fucking true.

I am certain that the magical reactions of a woman’s body to different forms of touch will never cease to amaze me. In my opinion, females are much more complex than men, both mentally and sexually, but despite that, I am absolutely going to ace the art of getting my girl off. I probably never will figure out her beautiful mind, but this, finding ways to make her all mine, over and over again, I will master this glorious deed.

“Am I doing it right, Professor Honey Bunny?”

I purposefully hum my silly words against the nap of Fee’s neck, nuzzling my nose up into her hairline as I breathe in her flowery scent and rub my slicked cock up and down between her ass cheeks.

First lesson when it comes to real women, and it’s one that I managed to figure out without Fee outright telling me, is that they love it when you whisper or speak softly anywhere near their ear.

The second lesson is that they also love it when you are boldly willing to let go of shame and fall all over them with your adoring and sometimes perverted affections. Nothing proves your love than letting your defenses down and not being scared that they see who you really are, which for me is a total perv and a major dork.

When Phoebe doesn’t answer my question with anything other than a muted sighing sound, I find that’s not good enough for my continued educational purposes, so I up my game, sliding my fingers faster between her legs.

“How about this?” I try again.

Fee reacts to that change of pace quick enough, her bottom pushing back against me, pressing my erection even tighter between us as her head falls back against my shoulder while she moans so perfectly wantonly.

Getting a much better reaction, I can’t resist my excitement or sinking my teeth into the soft curve of her neck, applying just enough pressure to make her mouth fall open as she releases a quick and very feminine sounding rush of air with the hint of the letter ‘F’ in it.

Whether she meant that as my name or fuck, doesn’t matter, both are good with me.

My mouth goes back to applying much gentler kisses. Eventually, I move my licks and kisses to her ear again where I then drag my tongue along the shell of it before I let my breath cascade down, tickling the moist trail I just left on her skin.

Her body shivers and wriggles against me.

“I’ll take that as a, yes?” I smart back, not at all trying to hide how proud I am.

Lesson three when it comes to real women is knowing that you have the power to make them writhe is a huge turn on. Thanks to Fee’s guidance, I am now capable of driving her crazy, but as my clever girl already knew, that’s a win for both parties.

My lady love lets out the prettiest little laugh when I nip her again. “Yes, Five,” she giggles. “What you are doing feels so unbelievably good. Congratulations, you can consider yourself graduated with honors when it comes to finger fucking and ass humping.”

I know Fee’s teasing me for being so arrogant and because I am literally fucking her butt cheeks, but she does so lightly, while also tenderly running her hand over the top of mine as it fervently works her.

Wanting to mess with her more, I force myself to speak as seriously as possible as I add, “That’s good you are enjoying my latest break of dawn boner on your ass attack, but I’m trying for doctoral level mastery in all subjects ‘getting off.’ So ready yourself, little firecracker, because I am going to be doing major research and it’s starting with documenting all the ways I can hump you and make you cum at the same time.”

Fee’s body starts jiggling again as she starts laughing at me in her delightfully breathless way. I knew she’d get a kick out of more of my jackass commentary, and that’s the point of it. Adding to her already losing it over my usual absurdity, I start passionately rutting my dick up on her like a mindless wild animal.

“See,” I exclaim, “You better hang on, honey. It’s going to get very bumpy.”

“You mean, humpy,” she corrects, still laughing at me.

I love making Fee laugh, she is the joy in my life I never had before.

Since our Christmas weekend together a month and half ago, Fee has taught me plenty about what makes women feel good, and I have been one hell of an eager student for her. I can blame my fervor for all things sex related on my younger age all I want, but Fee is well aware that it’s not just that.

The escapism of her body and the sheer bliss of shutting out all else while in the act of searching for my release is entirely addicting for me. During my first years alone here, it’s the only thing I had that took me away from my suffering. It became a near daily reward system for surviving this hell. Now I still cling to it, but not so much for the same reasons.

Fee is my everything.

She makes me so unbelievably happy every day in the simplest of ways that have nothing to do with sex. That said, feeling my cock slip and slide on Phoebe is otherworldly. So much better than dry humping pillows and harder objects that chaff and dry out much faster when my pre-cum and spit fail me. I tend to prolong my sexual exploits for as long as I possibly can and playing with Fee and her seemingly infinite ability to stay wet for me is fucking great.

I dig my fingers into her slender waist, searching for more leverage as my hips frantically pump my cock against her. Through the sweaty fringe of my hair, I can see Dolores in her chair next to us. Her cheeks are flushed so beautifully from lasciviously watching me take Fee like this. As thrilled as she looks by my valiant efforts to entertain her, I can’t help but notice that she also looks slightly pissed.

Five Hargreeves-Brainless insensitive jerk.

I am sorry. I meant no offense, sweetheart. I like the fact that you are hard and that we have our own special way of doing this. Your smooth, wonderfully cool breasts are still high up there on my list of favorite places to fuck. I’ll prove it to you later if our little red head is down to watch, but right now, I’m a-

“Oh, fuck!” I moan, my forehead pressing against Fee’s neck.

I am about to come already, and thinking about going full freak mode with Dolores while Fee watches, and maybe if I am lucky even joins the fun by playing with herself, isn’t helping reign it in.

Easing back a little, I force myself to push down the growing tension in my belly and the tightening waves of pleasure threatening to burst from my loins. Then I shove my whole hand down lower, pressing Fee’s pubic mound against my palm to keep applying proper fiction while my index finger begins dipping inside her tight entrance.

“Ahh -hha, ya-ye..ssss,” Fee whines so endearingly.

I risk glancing at Dolores again and she offers me one of her warm smiles.

‘That’s it, Five. Just focus on Fee a little longer. I’m not mad that you enjoy this. Don’t worry about me. You know I only want what’s best for you and this is.’

As always, Dolores' encouragement over Fee and I is never ending, and I love her so much for it. I love them both so much, and I know I’m nuts for entertaining all this madness still, but I can’t help it. I still hear Dolores even though now I am not alone anymore. Amazingly, Fee is just as understanding as her, because she lets me get away with this crazy shit too.

Listening to Dolores, I let go of Fee’s hip to further disengage myself. Instead, I latch onto one of her warm breasts, probably too roughly, but she doesn’t complain, so I don’t stop aggressively groping her.

“Baby, I want to fuck these sweet tits of yours so bad. I am going to make a mess of you when I paint your beautiful chest with my sticky seed.”

Fee’s laughter bursts out of her. “Five, you are so freaking cute. I love it when you try to talk dirty.”

“Cute?” I grunt in shock. “I am not cute, and I am not trying, honey. I am dirty.”

Finding a jerking rhythm, of hard, then soft, hard than soft, I show my girls just how I like it, and that I am not ‘cute.’ Knowing that Fee is plenty ready for it, I finally let two fingers plunge all the way inside her, angling them up the way she taught me so I am hitting her right where she can’t help but cry out.

“Yes, Five! Y-e-e-e-s-s-s-”

One of many other lessons about sex I’ve learned is that the build to the finish is over ninety percent the fun of it, so taking it slow at first and upping the level of intensity as you go is key to being a good lover.

Thank you, Fee.

My smile fortifies my words, as I keep up my pace inside her and up my filth factor. “I know just how wet it gets you two lovely ladies when I talk about blowing my load on you, and I love how open-minded you both are of my objectionable behaviors, but it looks like you’re going to have to wait for that titty fucking another time. I am very close, and Dolores is right, you need to come first. Is this going to be enough to get you there or do you want me to fuck you with my mouth too?”

“Fiv-ive-yo-you are fucking mee-ee just fine as you are, don’t you thhhh-ink?” Fee stammers as I slam against her.

“I could do better, honey. I know I can.”

I’d stop humping Fee and dive pussy deep like I said, but I honestly want to be next her, wrapped around her, because this feels like I am actually fucking her, or as close as I can get to it.

Fuck, do I want to stick my dick inside her and make her come with it. With me. I think about it all the time.

It’s not so much that this isn't enough, because it is. It’s just that we can’t do that. We can do everything but that.

Fee had plenty of medical supplies, personal care items, and medicine and other valuable things with her when she arrived here, but no birth control methods of any kind. She didn’t need it.

Since our being together like this, neither of us have found anything in our scavenging that looks like it’s still any good or worth the risk of trying it. Thanks to the nature of condoms being extremely thin latex, they unfortunately did not survive the intense heat of the near atomic blasts. And the birth control pills and other options that we’ve found are always melted in their packaging or destroyed from exposure and moisture.

Like so many things, birth control in the apocalypse is a problem.

Talk of having a child together is something we have only done in terms of getting back to the real world first. Once the world isn’t going to end and we are safe from the dangers of our current situation, then I want nothing more than to someday have a family with Phoebe if we can. Here, the risks are something I refuse to entertain. I can’t lose Fee. Just the thought of something bad happening to her because of complications from a pregnancy makes me sick.

This, what we have, is more than I ever dreamed possible.

“Fee, I love you so much. Come on, fuuu-ccckkk,” I anxiously groan, because I’m almost there again.

I feel her squirming as she searches for anything to ground her. Her small feet eventually end up locked around my own, helping to anchor us both. My fingers keep getting the tell tail sign that her climax is coming because her body keeps tensing around them as her breaths hitch for longer and longer periods.

Letting go again, I pull back enough to take my reddened cock in hand, directing it between her legs to re-wet it. The sensation makes my head feel dizzy.

“Oh fuck, yes, Five ! That’s it, leave it there. Baby, fuck me,” she moans.

Yup, I love the sound of that, but I don’t understand what she wants. I can’t fuck her like this. Not really.

Still positioned with my hips pressed up behind her and my length in my hand that’s wedged up against her delicious wet cunt, Fee begins to tighten her thighs around me.

I pull in a very unsteady breath as I loudly and frantically pant her name. “Fee?!”

My voice sounds so young, so unsure with its higher-than-normal pitch, but it's only because I am totally freaking out.

“Five, it’s ok. Do it like this. We will be super careful.” With my chin resting on her shoulder, I watch as Fee reaches out and grabs her shirt off the table next to her side of the bed. She tightens on me even more, her slender thighs working hard to encase me between them where my cock is now lying as motionless as my hand.

“I don’t-"

I don’t know what to say…

Fee reaches down, dragging my hand away from her heat.

“Fee?” I question again as my tacky fingers fall against her hip.

“It’s okay. This will feel just as good to me as your fingers. Just do it. Pretend you are fucking me, please, do it. I want to feel you like this so bad.”

I want it too.

Fuck.

As if her words are a knife to my throat, I instantly react, pulling back just enough to not slip all the way out of this confined love trap she made in the cavass between her legs, shoving back into her warmth.

And yeah. The feel of her desire wetting me as I slide, her swollen folds encasing me while her thighs tremble from her effort to keep them tightly clenched, it’s…

“Fuck,” I grunt as I thrust faster, making her have to cling to my hands on her hips where I now have them both locked, keeping us latched together.

That’s it.

This is too fucking great.

I can’t think of an objection no matter how hard I try.

It’s not like Fee hasn’t let me run my cock over her sex before, but I have only done it very cautiously from the front for fear of getting even the tiniest amount of my semen inside her.

This… It’s so close, so dangerous, but it’s so damn incredible. I could just slip inside her. I know I could. I can see it in my mind. I know the head of my cock is pushing out between her legs, covered in her love for me, and soon I won’t be able to contain my explosive desire for her as it streams out on the bedding. I’m going to pretend it is filling Fee, and I am very good at pretending.

Thinking about doing that, my body flames with fresh sparks of ecstasy, and I let loose, fucking her as fast as I can.

The increased friction is enough for Fee to dig her short fingernails across the tops of my hands, causing them to sting. Thankfully, even though I’m on another planet doing this, I feel it when her body begins to shudder in that familiar way that makes me so fucking proud every time it happens.

“Ohhh-fff, this feels so fucking-” I growl out as deeply as I can just below her ear as she gives herself over to her orgasm. “Fee, this feels so fucking-” I can’t even finish. I bite down viciously on my lower lip as I rail her, my pelvis absolutely thwacking against her round rosy ass, making the most wonderful kind of sound from our hot and sweaty skin-to-skin contact. “Ffff-"

My back arches and my eyes slam shut as my hips shunt in a very non rhythmic pattern. I am only partly aware of the sensation of Fee releasing my cock from her clamped together legs so she can jerk me through the last currents of utterly mind-blowing fuck tingles that are violently ripping through me.

Once I have some of my brain back at my disposal, I very groggily open my eyes. “That was…fuck .”

Fee laughs as she wipes me clean with her shirt. “Yes. Yes, it was. Another job well done, mon amour. You are the best student ever, but I am not at all surprised by that.”     (My love-in French)

“Ti amo così tanto, prometto che non mi lascerai mai...” I whisper back, shutting my eyes again as I nuzzle my face against her neck. Soon I am falling into one of my many early morning naps while spooning the woman I love. We never even left our bed to start the day, but I'm right where I want to be.   (I love you so much, promise you will never leave me-in Italian),

~~~~~~~~~~

On the couch behind me, I hear the slow rhythmic strum of another cord. I love it when Fee plays like this. Between the soothing sounds of the guitar and the sound of the early spring rain softly pattering our metal roof, I feel so unbelievably relaxed and content.

I know I am not supposed to be happy living life in the apocalypse, but with Fee, I am. I am more settled and happier than I have ever been. I can easily pretend that we are in our own little world by choice, not because we are the only ones left, and I often find that I do and can’t help it. I am just that happy. I am in love with the perfect girl, and she is in love with me too.

I smile as I peek behind me. Phoebe senses me looking and looks up. She smiles back at me as she strums and plucks the strings, effortlessly making a song that is as beautiful as she is.

“My red-headed one, I want to be your everything…” I begin to sing as I fish around in the soapy water looking for another fork that I know is in there. “Fill your plate with me, lick and lap all you want, baby. I am all yours… I want to be consumed by your love…”

My impromptu attempt at serenading my lady love, and calling her by the literal and very fitting definition of her last name, is met with the breathy sound of Fee trying not to laugh at my very stupid lyrics.

I drop my cleaned dish in the drying rack and pick up another, using my cloth to scrub off the remnants of the shockingly satisfying wild mushrooms and rice that we made for dinner. There’s still no major growth outside of any kind, but that’s not stopping my crafty girl from finding all kinds of interesting and safe to eat fungus, or from attempting to start some seeds in the uncontaminated soil inside our green house. Maybe, if we are very lucky, by the time the longer warmer days fully set in, we will have fresh vegetables every now and then.

We love to fight over which will be better, the tomatoes or the cucumbers. Like the immature fool I am, I tell Fee she only thinks the cucumbers are going to better because they remind her of my amazing dick. She tells me I am amazing, but not just because my male parts are very nice. Fee always finds ways to tease me and feed my relentless ego. Finding that delicate balance to keep me in check is just one of her many talents.

Talking stupid and naughty always gets my lady smiling, so I am always going to do it. There is no shortage of love between us or laughs. Food on the other hand is, and always will be an issue for us. Even with the stores of dry things like rice and beans, and vacuum sealed seeds for potential future plantings that were left here, we still worry.

Thinking of food…

I loudly clear my throat, letting Fee know she’s in for another good line. “I want to be your breakfast in bed. I’ll be your food. I’ll run your bubble bath, make you laugh…  Tu me fais voir la vie en rose,” I croon, adding that last bit as French as I can, but even if it's wrong, I make sure to use my best sexy voice I can produce.  ('You make me see life in pink'-meaning, with you, I see life as perfect or through rose colored glasses- a similar line from the song Vie en Rosa.)

“Oh my God!” she sputters. “That’s it, Hargreeves. You are killing me over here. I’m not so sure about this ‘you being my food’ thing that you’re going on about, but in case you weren't already aware of it, you are one hell of a very sexy muse. Come here and let me teach you something new, you big goof.”

More than ready to please my girl, I excitedly pull the plug on the wash basin and aimlessly chuck my rag before bounding over to her. Crashing in next to her on our tiny loveseat, I look over at her with a big stupid smile as I try to suggestively wiggle one eyebrow at her. It’s a total sexy fail, and I know it, but that’s the point. Fee thinks I am irresistibly sexy when I am silly and that's because I am not normally a silly person.

It's all for her.

Another lesson with women, they like it if you are smart, but they don’t need to be reminded of it, especially if it’s in the arrogant, ass-hole-ish way I used to lay on thick for pretty much everyone.

“Teach away, baby. Like I said, I am all yours,” I push when she merely eyes me with that pretty smirk of hers.

When Fee doesn’t put the guitar away, that should have been the first sign she wasn’t planning on teaching me something new in the form of pleasuring her. But it wasn’t because I am a total boner.

Taking my hand in hers, she shifts my arms so that the black body of the instrument is in my lap, not hers. Placing my left hand on the neck, she positions my fingers around it so the pads of each are pressing down on different strings.

“There,” she says, “You are going to learn to play.”

“I am?”

“Yes.” It takes her a second to stop laughing at how baffled I am. “If you can sing, which you can, albeit somewhat more humorously than sincerely, then you can play and sing. They always complement each other nicely and it's fun. You just need to learn a few basic cords and then you can really get my panties wet with your mad skills.”

“I think I am good with having you as my own personal music box, sweet peaches.” I try to hand the guitar back but she pushes it away, shaking her head.

“Nope, you need a healthy hobby other than running all your big fancy numbers, and trying to find all the ways you can fuck me without fucking me.”

“Those are healthy hobbies.," I said defensively. "You said having a big libido was a good thing for a guy my age.”

Fee ignores that valid point as she stuffs a pillow down behind my back, then she pushes herself up so she can snake her body in behind mine. With her chin resting on my shoulder, she wraps her left hand around mine so she can maneuver my fingers how she wants them.

“There, keep that amount of pressure on those positions and bring your right hand down over the strings like this, Mr. Peaches.”

Her other hand lovingly brushes against my side before it finds my free hand, placing it how she means, with my palm flush against the body of the guitar. “Use the side of your thumb for now, and if you find that you like a pick better later, go for it. Anything goes, it’s all personal preference.”

Moving my hand for me, my thumb lightly jumps over the strings, one by one. I am shocked that a sound rings out that is not awful.

Fee kisses my neck from behind which increases my smile. “You know, I only call you peaches because they are my favorite canned food, and they are orange and sweet and they remind me of you. And I really like what you’re doing back there, ginger,” I say, leaning my head back so she is forced to press her lips on me again.

“I know you do,” she purrs, “but I am not orange. That ‘G’ major wasn’t bad, but your nicknames are. With your long, very clever fingers, you’ll be plucking those strings like a real wild West Virginia mountain man in no time.”

“I’d rather pluck your strings,’ I hum right back.

I can feel Fee’s mouth spread as her warm breath dances over my skin, sending wonderful shivers up my spine.

Maybe thinking I am cold, maybe not, within seconds of her focusing her energy on it, the hearth is filled with flames, working their way through the brush and other smaller pieces of kindling I put in there earlier. She didn’t even have to touch it to ignite it, and that is not the only thing she’s setting on fire.

Having her pressed in behind me like this… Yeah. It’s giving me ideas, but then again, so is her hand gently rubbing my thigh.

“Pay attention,” Fee scolds as she fights with my left hand to get it over the strings again.

Once they are placed differently, she guides my right hand again, only this time down, up, down, down, and up, in a different pattern, skipping the lowest sounding string every time. Again, it doesn’t sound bad. It sounds like music.

“That’s a ‘C’ chord. Not the easiest stretch for some but it’s looking easy enough for a very handsome drink of water like yourself. These fingers of yours, Hargeeves-damn. They are so long and useful,” she teases.

“I am slim and long limbed, but I am not attractive or tall, so saying that colloquial expression doesn’t really apply to me,” I correct.

"Wrong. You are very attractive and compared to me, you are tall,” she laughs.

“Only part true," I laugh back.

I am at least two inches taller than my little woman and I love it. I reverse the positions of our right hands. Gently stroking her hand, the strings under her fingers ring out again, but this time, I am pretty sure not in the way they should.

“Speaking of size, and my long, brilliant fingers, things are getting substantially lengthier in my pants the more you press that hot body of yours on me like that. I think we should do music lessons later. Right now, I think you should keep kissing my neck like that, while I teach you how to give me a reach around whack off.”

“Oh, you think so, do you?”

“Uh-huh,” I softly murmur, placing her hand on my leg again, moving it towards my sizable problem just so she’s fully aware that I’m not completely joking. Once her hand is on me, she gets it, and I know she's going to give in to my audacious request.

I can’t help but let my head flop back and my mouth drop open. My lids automatically close as I relish the feel of her touching me even if it’s just over my pants. “Maybe when you're done taking care of me, I can get on my knees, sit you back, and return the favor?” My words come out so incredibly strained already.

“I would love for you to do that, but first you are going to learn two more chords. Then you will be able to play something satisfying right away.”

"This is already pretty damn satisfying," I argue.

To that remark I get nothing, but her hand does keep moving up and down as I shift myself so she can get at my restrained shaft a little better. Being a musician who can do two very different things with her hands at the same time, she fiddles my clenched fingers on the neck of the guitar in a new way even while stroking me. “Try that one,” she commands, with her mouth tickling the back of my ear.

Right hand shaking, I bring it down over the strings again, making a pleasant sound that is a little deeper sounding.

“Good. That’s an A major.” Fee slides her right hand up my torso, bringing it back down inside the waistband of my pants.

“Fuck Fee. This feels so good,” I breathe when I feel the flesh of her warm hand directly on me.

“I know, baby, and you are doing so good. Just one more, I promise,” she says as she holds the head of my cock in her hand, her thumb rubbing back and forth on the underside, causing me to helplessly whimper. I hardly notice my left hand being repositioned as she spreads my pearly seed round and round my swollen tip. “Again, but try to only hit the four bottom strings,” she says, letting her words vibrate along my upper spine. I strum the strings with an even more unsteady hand. “That’s a D chord. We will save the B and several other nice ones for our next lesson. I am proud of you, Five.”

My hips shunt as Fee brings her hand down over my length again. “You are?” I ask in a fresh moan as she runs her hand further south, tenderly fondling my balls.

“I always am,” Phoebe claims, then kisses the back of my neck so torturously slow, in pace with how she’s handling my cock.

My jaw clenches and I force myself to relax. “Honey. You are driving me crazy.”

“I know. Payback's a bitch, isn’t it?”

Dropping my right hand, I push it inside my already stretched sweatpants, clamping my fingers around hers, forcing her to grip me tighter.

“Harder,” I demand as I show her what I mean, working her hand over me at a much more brutal pace. “This isn’t going to take long,” I warn. Like I usually do, my hips start fucking back up into her hand, increasing the feel that I am actually fucking her. “I love you so much, Fee. You are so good to me. Thank you,” I breathe, releasing her so she can get to it on her own. I reach next to me, grasping her right leg, my knuckles going white as my fingers dig into her calf.

“Rrrhhhaa, Ffffffff,” I groan through clenched teeth as my cock slides up and down in her hand at the pace that makes my brain completely turn off.

Fee’s lips caress my skin, moving along the back side of my shoulder over the fabric of my cotton shirt and back up again. “Five, you are one very horny young man, and I wouldn’t want you any other way because you are young, and you have every right to be horny. I love you too,” she says, letting her words softly vibrate my spine again. “Now, be a good boy and set that beautiful present you gave me down before you accidentally drop it. I am about to get really good for you, baby.”   

Holy fuck. I have no idea what chords I just learned, but I know that I will never forget my first guitar lesson.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bent over with my elbows on my knees, I rock back and forth, my heart racing as my fingers yank at my shaggy hair.

"Mother fucker of all fuckers!"

“Five, take a break,” Fee declares over my tenth outburst in the last half hour.

Opening my tightly clamped eyes, I wearily drag them across the yard in her direction. She is lying under the jeep, trying to see if there’s anything she can do about the cracked coil on the left rear tire. She thinks it happened the night she saved me, but since then we haven’t found a part to fix it. That’s not really the biggest problem though, because the thing won’t start anyway. Sitting all winter didn’t help, but Fee is almost certain that's because of a faulty starter, and we have nothing to fix that either.

With my lack of mechanical know-how, I can do little to help her diagnose all our many vehicle problems. Instead of getting greasy with her, most of the last two days of it finally not blowing like mad while the angry sky also dumped torrents of rain on us, I have been sitting outside with her, plunked down in my rusty old chair, swearing up a whole different kind of shit storm.

I can’t come up with anything that even remotely solves the issue of overcoming the indirect curvature of time and the rapid acceleration of energy needed to traverse it. Going forward when it comes to time travel was child’s play compared to going back. It’s all new, never done before math and concepts, and even with all that I know about it and having actually jumped years forward at a time, I am stumped.

“I can’t fucking figure this out,” I yell as I throw my latest scribble filled notebook down on the grass.

Hearing me really flipping out, Fee pushes herself out from under the vehicle and comes my way, stopping with her oily hands on her hips as she squints at me.

After a moment of silence, she reaches for her hat that’s hanging on the arm of my chair, plunking it down on her head so the sun isn't in her eyes. “You know, I can’t figure this shit out either, but you don’t hear me swearing every two minutes. Getting mad is never helpful. Why don’t you take a break?”

I don’t answer. My eyes dart away from her judgmental looking gaze.

She sighs loudly while bonking my foot with one of her sandals, and that makes me feel like I have to look back. When our eyes meet again, Fee gives me one of her sympathetic looks. “You will figure it out, Five.”

“Yeah, you don’t know that!” I bark back.

Clearly not liking that, she throws her hands up, shaking her head at me. “Maybe you just need something else to go on. We could go back to the city. You said the library there wasn’t a total loss. I am sure we can find texts in the ruins that will have some ideas you can use to expand your theories. I know you’ve been stuck on this for months. I am sorry. I know it’s driving you crazy but please don’t take it out on me.”

“We’ve talked about this, Fee. We can’t go. It’s so dangerous back there. And now, with the river flooding out all the roads around here, and the jeep not working, we can’t make it anywhere unless it’s on foot.”

“We can’t right now, but we can make the trip at some point. I know we can make it together just fine. You are acting like walking is a problem, but if I recall, that’s how you were getting around for five years before I found you.” She grins. “Has staying here in our luxurious mountain abode made you scared of getting your hands dirty or opposed to a few blisters on your cute feet? I thought we were saving the role of pampered princess for Dolores. Shall I start finding pretty little charms to decorate you with too? You know, you would look nice in sequins,” she says with a small laugh at the end.

“Real Nice,” I snap. “Why do you always have to act like you have all the answers? When it comes to this, you clearly don't know what the hell you are talking about. I have been in New York, you haven't! You think that your opinion is the only one that matters. It's like you enjoy making me feel like a little kid!

Fee instantly looks taken aback by my outburst, but she quickly schools her features to hide it. “Five… I was just joking. You know, trying to make you laugh and realize this isn't a big deal. I obviously know you aren't scared of hard work or walking. I never mean to make you feel like a child." She pushes her lips out, looking confused. "I am sorry, I didn't know you felt that I did." She pauses again, looking somewhere over my head with a blankness in her eyes before they come back to mine again. "Five, I don't understand. I am just trying to help.”

“Well, it's not funny and you can’t help with this. So just back off and do your thing and I will do mine!”

Her hands slap against her thighs as she pulls a frown at me. “No , I can’t. You are right. I am sorry that math and time travel really aren’t my thing, but I do my best with what I can help with, even if sometimes that’s putting up with your big boy tantrums.”

I cock my head, glaring at her as my shoulders rise with a tick like twitch that makes my growing anger and inability to control it blatantly obvious, which only pisses me off even more because I'm just proving her right; I am being a baby about this.

Leaving here is a very bad idea and every time Fee mentions it or questions how far I am getting with my calculations, my defenses trigger on a level that I am having a harder and harder hiding.

I feel like she’s trying to set me off on purpose, so I yell, “Fee. Just stop patronizing me, okay!”

“I am not doing that! I am just trying to make you realize that getting mad isn't going to help you.” She swallows several times trying to calm herself back down. Her eyes fall on the ground at my feet as she tosses her wrench back over by her other tools. “You know…” She pauses and my narrowed eyes come back to take on her fresh, icy blue glare. “I probably shouldn't say this, but sometimes I wonder if you are confusing the importance of what we have here with the reality that nothing is more important than getting back. There’s no reason we can’t go back to the city. You lived there on your own for five years and you survived. It clearly wasn’t as bad as the burning hot death hole you accidentally strolled into. You’ve got me with you now either way. Like I said, we will both be fine. If there's a chance that going will help you find the answers you need, then it's worth it. You know that we can't stay here forever.”

My eyes go wide as I jump out of my chair and get in her face. “I fucking know that, and I know you saved me! I know you are taking care of me, Fee! Do you always have to remind me of that!”

“That's not fair and you know it, and that’s not what I was saying. Why are you being so defensive? I am just pointing out that it’s okay to go and we should if it will help you figure out your math.”

“Phoebe, I know just how important getting back to save the entire fucking world is. Forgive me if I want to keep you safe and not have to bury another person that I love all because of massive amounts of stupid equations that I can’t figure out because I am stupid.”

“You are not stupid, and I am fine, Five. In case you forgot, I got along just fine without you, so with you I’m hardly in any more danger of death than I was before, and I came to this lovely area all the way from Utah so, yeah… Being mad at me for pointing that out, or not, going to New York from here is nothing. Like I said, we will be fine.”

“You just can’t stop, can you?" I furiously spit back. "I am well aware of how good you are at everything and how I nearly died next to a gigantic crater made by the fucking moon because I am an idiot!”

“Urgg! Five why are you being such a shit? I am not saying that!”

“It's because I am an asshole, remember?”

Fee’s expression softens into something that looks almost pained as her lips slowly part and her eyes crinkle at the corners. “Five, you are being an asshole right now, but I know it’s just because you are frustrated, and you are scared. I wouldn’t do something that could mean that I'd lose you either. Us leaving here together won’t risk that. We just need to watch the water levels and wait a little longer and we will be fine. I know we can find a route into the city and avoid the flooding. It may take a week or whatever for the latest storm damage to run its course but…”

She reaches out to take my hand, but like the baby I am being, a flash of electrical blue static surrounds me as I blink myself a few yards away where I reappear and instantly begin to pace with my head down rather than acknowledge what I just did or what she just said.

I hear her aggravated little huff, but I refuse to turn back and look at her.

“Fine. Whatever. You obviously need some space. I am going for a walk,” she mumbles as she marches away.

Hours later, Fee is not back.

I know that I was being awful, and I know I hurt her. I feel horrible about that and not being smart enough to solve the math needed to make this work. She is right as always. I am scared and I irrationally took my anger out on her. I am just mad that I can’t do this. It’s like when I was young and never good enough no matter how hard I tried.

Fee wasn't wrong that taking a break, or even going to the city to look for texts with ideas I can use, would be a smart plan of action, but no, I wouldn't listen. I yelled at her and blamed her for my own shortcomings rather than owning up to the real reason I am upset and digging my feet in.

I am putting being here with her, where I know we are safe, ahead of everyone else, and it’s selfish. As much as Fee loves me, I know being here alone like we are is not what she wants when she knows there’s a chance we can do something to prevent this. It’s not really what I want either, but I have never had this kind of thing with someone, and I am terrified of losing it.

That all lies on me, and I am being a total fuck head about it, and to her.

No wonder she didn’t come back yet.

I was such an epic asshole again and I hardly have me being an emotionally stunted teenager brought up in a house of equally confused kids as an excuse.

Walking down the gravel road to go after her, I have to constantly jump and dart around deep washouts. The rains that came in the last two weeks have been so bad that we are lucky there is any road left. Even so, taking the jeep anywhere or the bike isn’t looking promising even if we can get the damn things started.

When I get close to reaching where the small mountain stream runs alongside the road, I can already hear it, meaning it’s not a small creek anymore. When I get even further down the road, I am surprised to see it is still raging even though it hasn’t rained in over forty-eight hours.

When I get to the end of the line, which shouldn’t be, because it’s actually still about another mile and half before the road levels out and splits to the north and south along the range, I find there’s no road left as far as my eyes can see. The river swept it away.

Days ago, when Fee and I walked down here together, the road was just a little flooded on one side where the banks had spilled over.

Huge trees and branches sweep past me in the viciously churning water, moving so fast that when they slam up against other broken debris and rocks hidden under the muddy water, they make powerful cracking and tearing sounds.

There’s no way Fee went past here but I didn’t pass her so that must mean that she came back another way and I missed her somehow when I went in the house. Since it’s definitely not as sunny or warm over here, I figure that maybe she's wandering around on the other side of the bluff like she likes to do in the afternoon.

Looking up, I see the sun’s rays illuminating just the tops of the remaining trees that still stand tall, like smooth gray, wind torn monuments to what once was part of a vast wooded range formed over 480 million years old. A chill runs up my arms from the breeze blowing through the pass.

Spinning around, looking at the river again, something brightly colored catches my eye.

I walk over and bend down.

It’s a tiny bouquet of early spring purple wildflowers mixed with a few budded shoots from some kind of tree.

Fee loves finding things like this and bringing them back so she can show me and then proudly display them in the colorful glass vase I found for her that sits on our mantel.

“Fee!”

My shout is swallowed by the much louder sound of the water.

My heart sinks when I think about how she wouldn’t have dropped those by accident or just left them like this.

She has to still be near here.

Full-on panicking, I sprint around, searching the area, calling for her, over and over.

She doesn’t answer.

Nothing looks the same as it did a few days ago and I have no idea which way she would have gone. There isn’t really anywhere obvious to go. One side of the road is butted up to a relatively steep rocky cliff and the other is flooded.

Working my way back up along the winding water’s edge I see something.

Back where I just was, where the road had been, I can see that the soil there is darker colored and freshly disturbed compared to the rest of the embankment around it. It’s like it very recently washed out, eroded by the rushing water, causing it to abruptly collapse and disappear like the rest of the road in front of it already has.

Holding my breath, I come as close to the edge as I can without potentially making my weight cause it to collapse again.

“No, no, no! Fee!” I scream when I see Phoebe’s baseball cap down below, stuck a little way out on a half-submerged branch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I searched everywhere for Fee. Up and down the river, over and over. Through the woods, miles and miles around our cabin and I found nothing.

Not another trace of her.

Every day I refused to give up hope that she was out there, somewhere. Maybe she was mad at me still and just not ready to come back yet.

All I wanted was for her to come home.

It wasn’t until almost two weeks later, when the river had become nothing more than a lazy stream again that I found her.

She wasn't far from where she disappeared.

A clump of her long red hair was wrapped around a branch laying on the ground, and at first, I just thought she must have got it stuck on there and she had to have cut it off or something. When I tried to pick up the snarl covered wood, I realized it was stuck down because it was attached to something buried under it. Then, as sickness filled my gut, just a few feet away, partly hidden in a tangle of grass, I saw a familiar rainbowy strappy sandal with a foot in it. It was partly encased in the gray clay. Those two parts of her were the only things of color on the dead landscape.

Seeing that... Finally knowing... My heart broke and so did I.

I couldn't see the rest of her body, but from what I could tell, she was there, only twisted in a sick and unnatural way based on where her head was compared to her feet. My beautiful girl was stuck into the dried mud so hard that it took me hours with my bare hands to get her out, but there was no way I could pull myself away from her to go back for a shovel. Even if I did go get something better to break the ground, I would have been too terrified to use it. She was so hurt already; I couldn't risk hurting her even more.

I wanted to die right there with her.

It felt like I did.

It didn’t matter that she was decomposing, or that her body was brutally ruined by the wrath of the river, once I had her free, I held her to me, begging her to forgive me.

As crazed as I was, my fractured mind wouldn’t give me the solace of letting her answer my pleas. Her voice is one I could not conjure but that didn't stop me from trying.

I tried to blink with her to get her back but the first time I landed with her, just up the dried embankment, her body tore apart, and I knew I couldn't go further with her that way.

Like a mindless zombie, covered in dirt and the pungent smell of human decay, I eventually made it back to the cabin. I don't remember that walk or the walk back to her. Near dark, I pulled my wagon up the mountain pass, loaded with Fee's small, battered body in a blanket on top of it. As I wheeled her along, all my mind could do was think about getting her somewhere safe.

Once I finally had her to our home, I couldn’t bury her.

I couldn’t think.

My mind at that point was more gone than it had ever been. I was mad with rage one minute then sobbing endlessly the next.

Days later, with no other choice but to give her dignity, I finally buried Phoebe under an old, dead black ash tree that she had always said would have been so beautiful if it were alive still.

Unable to leave her, I stayed at our cabin for two more months. I hardly ate. I hardly slept more than a few hours at a time, but when I did, it was clinging to her pillow, pretending that the faint traces of her scent meant that she was still with me.

When I left, it was only because I had finally pulled myself together enough to face the horrible world again and because it was the only way I could save her.

That thought alone is what held me together.

Like the day I lost her, I was stuck. Stuck inside myself, stuck with my calculations, and stuck blaming myself for something that I knew deep down Phoebe would tell me was wrong for me to be doing.

She would have said it was an accident. Fee never wanted me to suffer. She always said that none of this was my fault.

But it was.

I know that she went for that walk because of how unfair I was being to her.

She was upset by my behavior, and she had reason to be.

I know the only reason Fee went down to the river’s edge that day was because she was checking to see how bad it was. She wanted to help me and leaving to go back to the city seemed like the best option in her mind.

But, even getting to the city and my library, I remained stuck, unable to perfect the math that I needed to get back. I was trapped there another thirty-eight years, alone except for Dolores. After that, Dolores did all she could do to comfort me, just like she always did. We eventually picked up our old routine, but the reality was, neither of us could ever move on from losing Fee.

Even in my time with The Commission after The Handler came to pluck me out of my hell, I suffered for my sins, just in new ways.

I don’t think I could ever hate myself so much as I did that day I found Phoebe’s body, but as it turns out, almost a lifetime later, I did thanks to my years of killing innocent people all in the name of maintaining the generally accepted timeline for a corrupt space time continuum organization ran by a bunch of creepy manipulative self-serving fucks.

As long as it has been, no matter how many years pass, and how unredeemable I become, I still love my Fee.

For her and for everyone else, I will figure out this mess I've made.

I promised her I would, and I won't stop until I do or until I have no choice in the matter.

No matter what, every single day, I never give up hope that I will someday be deserving of seeing her smiling face again.

Someday...

Chapter Seven: Epilogue (Oblivion Park)

Klaus puts both his hands out in front of him, wiggling his fingers as he concentrates. "Alakazam, ghosties!"

And...nothing.

Our newly alive again ghost whispering brother looks very perplexed at his inability to use his powers, as do all of us.

After the recently resurrected, much less ape-like looking Luther finishes angrily grabbing me by my collar, yelling at me about Sloane being missing from our group, I am forced to tell him I have no idea where she is. He clearly thinks this is my fault and he does not look pleased when I add that she may not even be in this new utopian version of the world our dad and Allison must have created with that little coup they pulled back in the hotel hell that miraculously had been right here a few minutes ago but isn't now.

Everyone is having their own usual meltdowns, babbling on like always about themselves. Then, after zero discussion, other than that we have no powers, and deciding that we are pretty much shit out of luck with what to do about that, they all just start to wander off.

Again, taking another look at my suddenly reappeared severed arm, I shake my head in disbelief. It's nice to have that back, and not have blood all over my brand-new suit, and not be dying but...

Looking up at Lila’s excited expression and Diego’s equally eager look, then the bronze statue of dad’s head, I can’t help my frown.

They are all leaving. After everything.

We almost just got kugelblitzed. Reginald nearly just killed us. He sucked our powers from us like we are nothing more than batteries that he always planned to drain, then he just threw us away, and this is what we do about it? We abandon each other? Have we learned nothing?

Really?

Cursing, Ben disappears the same way Luther just left without so much as a goodbye.

Viktor clearly feels the same way I do about this, and despite him trying to stop them, he is losing his fight to keep us all together, but I shouldn’t really be upset or surprised by that or any of this.

Thinking and trying to understand what just happened and what this means, it dawns on me that we might have actually done it this time.

Well, maybe we didn’t, but Reginald or Allison did. Either way, they never would have reset the world on a course that was going to simply end again in a few days.

That means the apocalypse is over. We are safe. Lila is right. We can start to live our life as we want for once.

I spin around, my suit jacket swinging open from the momentum. It’s just me and Viktor left with our dad’s monument between us.

My eyes widen with realization. “Fee,” I whisper under my breath.

Twisting on my heel, I start picking up pace as I head toward the large stone arch leading out of the circular garden.

“Five! Where are you going?” Viktor shouts, interrupting my racing thoughts and my attempt at a hasty departure.

The heels of my dress shoes grind on the loose stone path as I turn back. “I am going to find Fee.”

“Who?”

“Phoebe Leroux.” Just saying her name out loud makes my heart feel so tight. It always aches when I think about her, but I’ll never stop.

"Who is Phoebe Leroux?"

My brows furrow as my mind goes back to her, remembering.

“Fee is a woman that I have been in love with for nearly forty-five years,” I quietly admit, “and she is someone that I wronged very, very badly.” I pause as I think about the extremely heavy truth of that.

Seeing Viktor looking at me like he has no clue what the hell I am talking about, I find myself laughing even though I shouldn't be. It's like a madness erupting in me that I can control. They know nothing about Fee. Not even The Commission let on that they knew she was with me in the apocalypse even though I am sure they knew. All of this is madness but it's finally over. We are finally free of all of it.

I stride back, meeting Viktor halfway in the shadowy garden. Running my hand back through my hair, I shake my head, trying to think of a way to explain all this.

“I met Fee only once, back when we were sixteen, and I epically fouled up that first brief encounter. Then, as fate would have it, because she had powers like we do, she survived when the ‘moon’ thing went down.”

I try to smile at Viktor when I air quote the moon thing, and that’s because I know full well that he still feels awful about that. My small overture gets him to return one of his very awkward looking grins.

Placing my hands back in my pockets, I continue explaining. “Phoebe was there alone in the apocalypse too, and she found me and saved me when I was about to die because I’m a never-ending arrogant asshole. That bright moment on my list of many happened five years into that hell. Her saving me is what ultimately got us all to this point, so I guess, in a way, she’s the one that saved everyone. She is the bravest, most caring person I have ever met, and I love her.”

“You mean you weren’t alone all those years?” Viktor looks utterly confused and even more floored by my explanation. “I mean, other than Dolores? I know you were with her and all that, and she is very real to you but…” he tries to clarify. “I am sorry, that’s not coming out right at all,” he apologizes, his pale cheeks flaming.

I smile at my brother’s embarrassment over my lifelong romantic relationship with a mannequin. I can’t exactly blame him for still being weirded out about that. “Don’t apologize, you have no reason to, and yes,” I say with another laugh. “I was with my loving Dolores for the entirety of my time in the apocalypse, but there was a short time when we weren’t alone. For eight months, seventeen days, ten hours, thirty-six minutes and give or take forty-nine seconds we were madly in love with a very special, very real woman.”

“Where’d she go?”

My somewhat manic smile evaporates as I think about what happened.

“We had a stupid fight about me being stupid. Fee went for a walk to give me space to calm down and get my shit together.” I have to stop to swallow the lump in my throat. “I messed up and I let her down. She didn’t deserve that from me, not after everything.” The lump comes back, but I speak through it, my voice cracking just a little. “There had been storms for weeks, and…” I look down at my shoes. “She drowned,” I simply say because I’m unable to say more.

“Oh no, Five! That’s-”

“That was a long time ago,” I quickly add, cutting him off, trying to let Viktor know he doesn’t need to say anything. I don’t want him to.

This is why I never told any of them. One, because everyone, including myself, were too wrapped up in their own things and jumping through time and fucking everything up, but it's also because I didn’t want them to know. If they did, it would just be one more thing I have to explain about my dark life that is too hard for me to talk about.

Something feels different now though. I want Viktor to know. Memories of Fee playing her guitar and me telling her about my siblings fill my mind with warm loving nights cuddling next to her by the fire, me talking with her for hours, back when I was happy.

The Handler was right. We all want happy.

A small smile tugs at the corner of my mouth when I remember telling Fee of how my sister may not have had powers like us, but she was a very kind and passionate and proficient musician that I knew she’d get along with famously because they were actually very similar in many ways.

Avoiding that same person I had long ago told Fee about and their wide eyed, very concerned gaze they are giving me, I look around again, checking out what I can see of the city skyline peeking out over the tall, groomed hedges. Slowly I count in my head the days since when the apocalypse should have ended all this.

Fee would have caught a flight this morning out of Salt Lake City. Based on the time, she is supposed to be performing at a location not that far from here.

“I have to go,” I say as I start walking away.

“What are you going to do, Five?” Viktor asks.

“I need to deliver a long overdue apology.”

“But if the apocalypse didn’t happen and you guys never met again, how’s she-”

“It doesn’t matter if she remembers what we had,” I say, interrupting him. “I still owe her an apology.” Viktor just stares at me with his big brown eyes looking so lost, so I find myself saying, “I just need to see her again. It’s been so long and I…”

I can’t even begin to say how I feel, so I don’t.

Viktor stuffs his hands in his pockets the same way I have mine. “Well, if you want company, I would be happy to come with you for emotional support,” he offers.

“You mean like my wingman?” I correct him with a knowing smile.

Viktor isn’t like the rest of them, ready to leave everyone behind and never look back. He has never been that person. As his older brother, this time around my instinct to take care of him is stronger than my desire to figure out how to save the world and that's because it is figured out. No more apocalypse, that's all that matters. All this has me thinking that doing what my girl taught me, showing a little more heart, and by doing so, letting him be my ‘wingman’ isn’t a horrible idea.

Viktor nervously laughs. “Yeah, I guess I mean like that. This woman sounds pretty special, maybe you can hope for more than just a chance to say you’re sorry. If she forgave you for whatever happened between you two when you were sixteen, and she fell for you once before, then maybe she will again. You are only a few years younger than you were. You're technically legal, so maybe that wouldn’t be too…” He nervously laughs again, and I can’t help but join him.

I am physically eighteen instead of fifty-eight thanks to accidentally fucking up a decimal placement in my math so yeah… At least I'm legal as he so nicely just reminded me, then again, Fee is five years younger, so...

“Yeah, maybe…” I agree with a smirk, thinking about what Phoebe would have to say about all that and my nerdy, even more boyish appearance than what she had to deal with the first time. Looking back over at my brother, I nod. “Well Viktor, I think I’ll take you up on that offer, if you’re willing to be my emotional support sibling, I’ll take it. Clearly, I can use all the help I can get.”

Viktor nods back, probably unable to come up with words to express his shock over my rare show of maturity and willingness to admit so openly that I need someone.

As my brother and I silently start walking out of the garden the same why the rest of our family vanished, we begin to take note of all the strange new buildings that weren't there before, especially the fact that nearly half of them appear to be owned by none other than Sir Reginal Hargreeves, the alien ass lord who is responsible for stripping us of our powers and for us being here.

Moving down the sidewalk heading towards the busy downtown, I know I should be more concerned about all that, but my old broken heart in my new young body races as I let myself think about Fee and all the possibilities a woman like that can bring to a broken man’s life if she’s willing.

She saved me once before, so maybe, just maybe, she will open her beautiful heart to an old crazy wretch like me and do it all over again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link from a special request scene extension from the point he found her.

Thanks to all who read this one. ❤️

Master Post List to all my Five Centric Stories and Art

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Link to my other posts on Tumblr

[doctorjackdaw]

can’t sleep so i’m up thinking about jack running a test-lab with hector… jack’s 7 months pregnant, so he moves a few rooms away for any active x-raying that hector performs, but he’s there for the preliminary screening with the patient / test subject, and intends to return to discuss the results.

hector (he/him) / jack (he/him), belly kink (in general!)

when jack arrives, 5 minutes early and prompt, he isn’t surprised to see hector, there already, chatting with the patient and charismatic at ever.

he is surprised to see hector’s form, no different save for an unmistakable swell to his belly. he looks pregnant - if jack had to field a guess, he’d place the shape and size of his coworker’s belly at about 6 months, although realistically, this is impossible - hector wasn’t pregnant a month ago. if jack recalled correctly, hector wasn’t currently able to be pregnant - nothing audrey couldn’t fix if hector was willing, but the surgery necessary to complete a trans-uterine pregnancy had a time frame that hector’s recent expansion couldn’t account for.

“doctor kagawa?”

only then did jack realize he’d been staring hector straight in the gut for the past 2 minutes. there was an even humor to hector’s smile as jacks eyes slowly shifted up to meet his.

“god, sorry- sorry, doctor florez, were you… ready to begin?”

“of course. now, miss, if you’d like back for me here…”

hector took charge easily, quick to forgive and forget jack’s straying focus. the volunteer with them would be undergoing a test pregnancy and assisting in the record of effects of a new drug - one of the major purported side effects was a possible dilapidation of bone strength, predisposing users to fractures and early-onset osteoporosis. this first meeting, prior to the pregnancy, would involve hector taking multiple and comprehensive x-rays.

first, though, he checked over the volunteer’s form. his confident hands poked and prodded, asking careful questions to get a physical assessment of her current bone strength and pain tolerance.

his belly pushed into the table.

jack was stuck - he really ought to have been asking questions, providing answers on the dawning pregnancy for their patient, but all he could do was watch as hector reached over and around the cot, his belly jammed up into the side of it.

“alright… i’ve got a few more preparations to make, and we’ll start on those scans. i’d you’ll excuse myself and dr. kagawa for a moment?”

the volunteer nodded, and hector swiftly escorted himself and jack to the adjacent room; his office.

“jack.”

jack already had his face in his hands as hector smiled down at him.

“hector, i am so sorry. i understand i’ve been unprofessional, it’s- a terrible look! i’m.. distracted, today, but i’ll put it behind me-“

“distracted seems like a bit of an understatement,” hector murmured, and before jack had a chance to retort, the taller man had strode across the room and placed himself directly in front of him.

“you’ve been staring - right at my belly, no less! i’m surprised, really - yours is far more interesting.”

jack’s face was burning with a dark blush that only grew deeper as hector pushed one loose fist against his pregnant belly, gently massaging into his womb through the layers of scrubs he wore to keep bit covered.

“i-i beg to differ! i’m used to being pregnant, i’m not used to you-“ jack paused, pushing one hand to his eyes. “whatever you have going on!”

the stress of being trapped in his own shameful arousal by hector, who seemed completely content to tease him, made him lash out a little, but the radiologist seemed completely unfazed.

“why don’t you figure it out for yourself? go on, you can touch. i’d be honored to satiate your curiosity, doctor.”

his voice dropped so low as he said it that jack visibly shivered, but he didn’t wait long to accept hector’s offer. in seconds, his gloved hands shifted forward and laid on hector’s belly, pushing up at his green scrubs and revealing the expanse of skin and dark fuzz underneath. to reveal the whole swell, jack also found himself hooking his fingers in hector’s waistband and pulling down his slacks, moving all the fabric out of the way to frame the belly he’d been fascinated by since he noticed it just fifteen minutes before.

it… was softer than he’d expected. no scars to be seen, no visible entry point for some kind of host or substance. hector’s guts were far too quiet for him to be maintaining any volume of an enema, although he’d heard a draining gurgle or two from his upper stomach.

“it’s soft,” jack confirmed, and hector almost broke out laughing.

“figured it out yet, doc?” hector punctuated his laughter by pressing jack’s palm into the apex of his belly while he laughed, feeling it shake just a little.

jack blinked hard.

“higher levels of subcutaneous… and visceral fat. but is that-“

“that, plus the kind of breakfast that’s been increasing my levels of subcutaneous and visceral fat.” hector mimicked jack’s words to point out the mild absurdity of his differentiating the two, and jack’s jaw dropped a little.

“so you’re-“

“i’m just putting on fat. looks different on me, hmm? it was casey’s idea, and i owed them a favor - plus, like i was gonna say no to four good meals a day, and mel and keats are helping keep me stocked.”

jack was mortified for a good few seconds.

“i… am so sorry if i offende-“

“do i look offended? jack, it’s alright. you had every right to assume something else was going on, even i was surprised at how quickly my body started storing fat… and how it all went right to my gut.”

as hector assuaged his embarrassment, jack’s arousal took over. the phrase it all went right to my gut had him whimpering aloud, and hector didn’t hesitate to press his colleague back to the wall, and slowly, achingly pressed his new gut into jack’s pregnant belly.

“h-hector, oh shit,” jack murmured, “we have to get back- oh, god, it looks so good on you, and you feel good too…”

hector took that moment to push jack’s scrubs out of the way and press their bellies together, skin to skin, each rounded and heavy. he braced his broad palms and long fingers against the wall while he gyrated his hips, creating almost a massage between the two of them as their bellies rubbed sensually against one another. jack managed to get one hand on hector’s side, as if he had a handle on their little dance, but the other covered his mouth and betrayed just how turned on he really was, shaking there at the touch of hector’s fat belly alone.

all at once, hector pulled away, but not before tilting jack’s face and kissing his cheek warmly.

“i’ll see you at my apartment tonight, won’t i?”

jack nodded. he’d go just about anywhere to finish that scene, if he could come back down to earth before evening came.

[vibratingskull]

"Hai, tis me again 🫡 Putting in a Thrawn x Ar'alani smut request! Thrawn returns to the Ascendancy for reals this time. When Thrawn arrives, things are way too hectic for him to find some genuine alone time with Ar'alani. The pair have some serious sexual tension that comes out when they find themselves alone in an elevator together. They're fighting for dominance over one another - sloppy and messy "I miss u" sex. Ar'alani is frustrated and angry with Thrawn, Thrawn misses Ar'alani ALOT." - @thrawnalani

First time i write for a ship. It was rather difficult but pretty fun 😊

Thrawn x Ar'alani

Tag: smut, cunni, p in v

Thrawn steps into the elevator and breathes deeply once the doors close. The Ascendancy didn't change, it worsened even. Too much political agitation, too little factual military responses. He had to meet with numerous aristocras and syndics and respond to numerous nonsensical questions, apparently they are worried about the political repercussions of his return. Apparently the Mitth Patriarch was furious when he appeared with his fleet at the Ascendancy's door. It's Roscu who found him; she welcomed him back as he expected with disdain and defiance. Some things did not change and he finds it comforting. 

He loosens up his collar, those questions really took a toll on him, he has the head ready to burst. If only they could give him just 5 minutes of peace, 5 minutes alone…

He didn't stop for a second after he arrived. He's getting old, he chuckles, his patience is getting slimmer. He stretches his neck and shoulders as he's alone in this elevator. 

Where is she now ? 

Surely on patrol somewhere… Away from him. 

He sighs, closing his eyes. 

He would have loved to see a glimpse of her face, a smile in his direction, the hand of a friend extended to him.

That would suffice for his happiness. 

Just a touch. His finger grazing her hand. That would surely suffice. 

The elevator stops to welcome someone else, he opens his eyes and he straightens his stature. He takes a step on the side to let them enter. 

The doors open. 

And the air is punched out of his lungs. 

Her eyes widen for a demi second before the mask of imperturbability is back on both of their faces. 

It is her. 

In all her glory.

She comes and places herself next to him, without a single glance.

- Grand Admiral Thrawn, she politely salutes with distance in the tone.

- Admiral Ar’alani, he tilts his head.

He remains calm, but inside his heart is racing.

- Not anymore, I am now a Fleet Admiral. I took after Supreme General Ba'kif work.

- I have not been made aware of that. My congratulations.

She tuts without responding. The elevator resumes its ascension in the stone building. 

They remain silent, without exchanging glances, but her scent comes and invades his nose, he inhales the fragrance deeply, welcoming it far into his lungs, a mix of honey, wild flowers and chemicals. It makes his mouth water. He licks his teeth to gather self control. He does not turn his head to her, preferring to admire her through the mirror in his peripheral vision. She's getting older too, little wrinkles come adorn her eyes and the corner of her mouth, gray and white strands of hair at her temples. She’s never been more beautiful to him.

-You collar is loose, she says out of the blue without looking at him.

- Yes, I needed to be a bit less constricted for five little minutes.

-It’s unprofessional, remedy it now, she orders.

-Yes, Fleet Admiral.

He ties his collar again. He do no let it appears on his face but he’s smiling internally, even though he regrets her cold tone he always admired her way of giving order, even to him. Her imposing presence, her hard stare...What a women.

-You’ve created a certain commotion by coming back, she finally lets out, her head fixed straight on the door.

- It appears so, even though I do not understand the political ramification of my return.

His breath shortens as his heart race quickens. It feels like he’s going crazy. After so long, she gave him the cold shoulder and deprives him of her beautiful gaze. This is unfair! He abandoned everything for her and the Ascendancy, he left everything behind to come back stronger than ever to bring help to his people. And she won’t even grace him with a smile? Might as well stab him in the heart, it would be less painful.

She lets out a snarky snarl.

- Of course you do not. You didn’t back then and you won’t now.

- Maybe you could teach me? He tries an approach turning his head to her to be welcomed by her unmoving profile. He's never been too good at this game but it won’t prevent him from trying. For her he would try anything. He keeps an eye on the elevator’s indicator, soon they would reach the floor and be separated again… In those conditions? Without a smile ? Without staring longingly in her gorgeous eyes? Without grazing her hand once ? 

He cannot let that happen. He spent all those years thinking about her, the only thing keeping him sane in this Empire of vipers.

- Right now? We do not have the time. And I doubt to be able to teach anything to an old blinkered person like you.

Then…

Something switches in his head.

He silently and oh so calmly turns towards the control panel, opens it, and very simply tears the wires. The elevator stops instantly in a jolt, plunged into darkness, only a small emergency light bulb lightning crudely the metal box.

-Grand Admiral Thrawn! She shouts indignant, finally looking at him.

He fully turns towards her.

-Now listen, Fleet Admiral, I had some very rough years and a notably rough day. I am in no mood to take this unfair beating: I have been sent to find allies for the Ascendancy, and came back with a full fleet. I succeeded in my mission. Now I do not want the honor of the victor nor any medals. The only thing I ask for is the warmth of a friend, a welcoming smile or friendly salutations, of which I have received none and especially coming from you this is particularly cruel. Now we can remedy it or never speak again.

He can’t believe what he just said, it was totally unprompted and involuntary. He would never cut their bound and renounce her friendship, but something in her demeanor made him snap. 

They look into each other's eyes in silence for a whole minute when she finally raises an eyebrow, looking at him like a curious insect. He fully braces for the storm coming, she has every right to be beside herself.

- You’ve changed, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. You used to have more patience, she states calmly.

-It has been ten years, Ar’alani. People change, I am not immune to it.

She holds his gaze before finally lowering her eyes and sighs.

-You’re right, it’s been ten years… Ten years of tumult, ten years of uncertainty, ten years of hope of you coming back against all odds. Ten years without any news, any signs of life…

He presses his lips in a thin line, feeling a bit gauche now.

- And I am truly sorry for that, he assures, it was due to parameters out of my control.

 -I know… 

Her voice is so weary suddenly, like years of stress coming crushing down upon her suddenly. 

- But you don’t know what I feared happened to you…

He gently takes her hands and squeezes them.

- But I am here now, I have returned.

- Things have changed. The Ascendancy is in great peril, eating itself from within. You might have returned home to lose it definitively.

- This defeatism is not like you.

She giggles tiredly.

- Maybe I’ve changed too.

He holds her face, forcing her to look at him.

- Whatever might happen, we will face it together.

And without thinking of consequences, he puts his lips against hers delicately, annihilating more than thirty years of friendship in one simple gesture…  It is so soft, softer than what he ever imagined with a sugary taste. She doesn’t respond, neither inviting him or pushing him back. He slowly parts, searching her gaze, holding his breath, waiting to discover if he just made the biggest error of his life…

She gasps lightly, and seizes his head with force, pressing their mouth together. His heart skips a beat, but he welcomes it. He deepens the kiss, caressing the back of her head, the low of her back, pressing their body together like they could fuse as one. He pushes her against the wall, squeezing her harder in his arms while making out. She’s disheveling him, clawing his back through the fabric, pushing her tongue in his mouth, hugging his tongue, moaning in the kiss.

Oh this is such sweet music to his ears, angels could not sing softer.

Finally…

A hunger of thirty years will be satiated tonight.

And he’s ravenous.

She looks as starving as him, which makes his heart fluster. It is so satisfying to know you please the other person as much as she pleases you. He tastes blood and realizes she’s biting his lower lips. He growls in response. 

She moves away, tearing him apart, but it is to open his tidy uniform. She hurries in her movement, a bit clumsily with such haste. He resists the temptation to just tear the fabric of both of their uniforms and instead choose to help her. He quickly ends up in his black tank top that he discards as quickly. She also opens her jacket while he kneels down to open her white pants, he pulls them down with her undergarment and caresses his way up her legs. He grazes her inner thighs and looks up at her, panting and with messy hair, he sees her chest moving up and down as she breathes. Without breaking eye contact he approaches his head to her vulva and gives a long, wet lick at her slit. She closes her shiny eyes and throws her head backward, so he does it again, teasing her entrance, slips up his tongue between her pussylips, his nose buried in her pubes. He inhales the musk deeply. He laps at her cunt with the flat of the tongue, sucking and flicking his tongue at her clit, he does it conscientiously, thoroughly, like his savoring a rare dish. She gasps and whines, holding his head, pressing it further against her wet, slick sex. He thought he could die happy suffocated between her legs. He tonguefucks her until a tremor shakes her and she comes in his mouth with a moan. He drinks it all like a thirsty man. He licks his lips with a satisfied grin, looking at her purple and panting face, a drop of sweat at her temple. He kisses her public mount and rises on his feet, unbuckling his pants. She slips her hand in his boxer to feel and stroke his length, appreciating the circumference of his girth. He sighs with pleasure at the delicious sensation, he kisses her cheeks and she bites his ear.

-Hurry, she breathes.

He pulls down his boxer, freeing his hardening dick, he gives it a few rough strokes and presses the tip at her cunt, coating it as he trails her pussylips, nudging her hole with his tip. She bites her lower lips, her hands at the back of his neck. He kisses the tip of her nose and aligns himself with her, he slowly enters her, moaning as her tightness strangles his veiny shaft, he pushes and buries himself to the hilt. She jumps and circles his waist with her legs as he carries her his hand under her thighs. Taking support on the wall he starts rutting inside her, thrusting his hips sloppily, they mewl in unisson, making out again. He feels his cock get swallowed by her wet warmth, she grips him as he stuffs her full and she’s not embarrassed to let her pleasure be known by the most obscene noises. It only fires him up more, giving him even more energy and vigor. He rolls his hips languorously, as she bounces on his cock, he languidly plunges into her soft flesh, feeling her spasms and contracts around his length.

-I missed you, she mewls

It makes his heart beat faster and heat up his cheek even more.

-Me too, my love, me too.

They kiss languorously, until his thrust becomes erratic. He’s close, he knows it.

-Stay with me, she grunts.

- I will.

He feels all his lower body tensing up, but when he tries to remove himself she locks him between her legs until he finishes inside her. His orgasm his mind shattering, pushing air out his lungs. She clenches around his cock when she cums and he put her down, legs trembling, short breath and glossy eyes. He rests his forehead against hers, catching his breath, he brushes her hair out of her face. She holds his hand and rests her cheek in it. They remain silent, smiling, grazing their nose tips, savoring this quiet moment before getting back to real life.

-We must get back, she sighs

-I know, but he doesn’t stop pampering kisses on her face.

-Thrawn, I’m serious. We got work to do.

-I know… This time he’s the one sighing

She smiles contritely and pecks his lips.

-Come to my place tonight? I will let the door open for you.

-I am afraid I will finish late, he reluctantly admits.

-It is okay. I waited for you for ten years, I can wait a little longer…

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar

@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton

[everything-is-as-it-was]

Ranking all DnP videos 2024

Hello everyone here to hear me yap! Below I am including all of the videos dnp have released in 2024, rated from my favorite to least favorite. PLEASE NOTE that I actually do love all of them! And this is just a silly thing! But feel free to discuss or send me asks with your opinions :)

I'll start from the bottom up.

10. i have a spicy confession...

This one was lots of fun (wtf is wrong with yall with these confessions) but I'm not gonna lie Phil felt incredibly off in it and like... really performative? Like idk something didn't feel right to me and although he said some really sweet things it felt... off somehow. Not sure how to describe it. Funny though lol

9. HONEYMOON IN JAPAN!

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW

It was a good video!! I just feel like it didn't have a lot of *those moments* that these other videos had idk. Like yes it was very sweet and a milestone for the sims universe but it kind of felt like that was it for me. The symbolism was inSANE but just strictly talking about the video itself yk. New pics released were nice though

8. Poppy Playtime Chapter 3

This one was a lot but it was SO nice to have such a long video- two hours long who??? That's tbh the reason this one goes above the honeymoon video- the length. The reason I put it lower is that although I am NOT complaining about the length, both of them were SUPER focused a lot of the time and not really talking much haha

7. Viewers Pick My Birthday Presents 2024

The only reason this one isn't higher is because all the ones above this I consider part of their *magnum opus* era. I loved the mini golden pig, the omatone, the shirt, and the Shrek smut. Always fun to see him surprised with cursed stuff loll

6. THE PUBLIC WOOHOO INCIDENT

Pretty self explanatory I think. Dan SCREAMING as Dab and Evan got it on made me actually piss myself. I can still hear it echoing in my head.

5. Phil's Birthday Livestream

Another case of "the only reason this isn't higher is because the ones above it are SO good." I loved the livestream, and was able to attend live for about the first hour. Such chaos. Such good. Amazing.

4. Dan and Phil Get Married, Have Kids, and Retire

Saw the notif while I was getting out of school and I literally snorted out loud, very embarrassing. They're just taking the piss at this point and I'm loving it. Phil's teasing him towards the end with "oh, I think I'll start another photo album!" GOLDEN. "Henry gives me that good dick." "Me and Susan have been rawdogging it." Amazing. Incredible.

3. Phil Pushes Dan's Button for 18 Minutes

A comfort video for REAL. When this came out I was SHOCKED that they had two BANGERS one right after another, but boy was I in for a surprise.

The slime? The slime on Dan's head while he's talking? Phil placing it on his forehead while he stares off into space? Hell yeah I want more of that slime I could look at it all day.

2. Who is the Real Daniel Howell?

Yall. We were fed GOOD today. Dan singing 'my lumps' absolutely DEADPAN while Phil looks at him in Awe? I WANT PHIL'S SWEATER IF ANYONE CAN TELL ME WHERE IT'S FROM I WILL BE GRATEFUL.

So? many shoulder touches? idk what that's about but i aint complaining ig

editing tips! *stuff* coming out your nose! etc!

This one had such a particular vibe to it- I think partially because it wasn't edited by the editor they've been using! To be clear - the editor has been doing a great job and I applaud them :) but sometimes it feels a bit over-edited, if you know what I mean? (For example the count-downs on the sims video going down the mountain felt a bit much) But having a video that was edited by Dan or Phil kinda hits different idk

WDAPTEO2024

I cannot, CANNOT say enough good things about this video. I cannot. I cannot. It holds my whole heart and soul and I have only rewatched it twice because I am trying to preserve the magic but GODDAMNIT I love their shenanigans. What a series.

I was very worried when they came out with this video STRAIGHT into 2024 because I was like, "WOW. that was amazing but idk how they're going to follow this up? will everything feel like a disappointment now that this masterpiece has come out?" (not that dnp uploading could ever be a disappointment, but I digress) BUT I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED. Still though, wdapteo is 10/10 my fave so far.

I hope you enjoyed my yapping! I know many of you don't agree and that's okay lol, feel free to share your opinions if you so please ! And also with the ones that were lower ranked, the reasons I listed for the being lower ranked was NOT me complaining. Each video is different and awesome in their own right, this is just a ranking of how much I personally enjoyed each one!

Thank you and goodnight!

[hogtiedwhore2]

day 200 of denial, and a task

today is the 200th day since my last orgasm! seeing that number 200 is crazy to me, some days it feels like its been less, some days it seems like it has been longer then that lol 😄. to celebrate my 200th @dirtynerd-83 gave me a task/challenge to complete. i would stand flat against the wall, my left hand extended straight out with a dime in each finger pressed against the wall. a 6th dime would be held by my nose against the wall. for an hour i would need to hold up all the dimes. if one dropped, that would result in 1 day of no touch. if this sounds familiar, i have done a few challenges like this in the past. @dirtynerd-83 gave me this exact challenge last year. this challenge was also cleared with my owner who has informed me that any no touch days this results in doesnt start until monday.

so i started this challenge earlier today by stripping naked. that was one of his requirements was to do this naked. from there i stood against the wall putting my left hand up and using my right hand to put the dimes in place. once ready i scooted over until my arm was straight out. i had a table next to me which i had a timer on my phone. i started the hour timer and placed the dime between my nose and the wall. my right hand was to be placed behind my back the entire time.

one of the worst things about this challenge is not being able to see how much time is left. maybe its a blessing not being able to stare at the time, but ignorance is not bliss in this situation. i have no idea how much time is left while i am doing this. i feel like i started off really well. my arm wasnt getting tired, i did some yoga before hand to help me stretch and limber up. id like to say i made it 20-30 minutes holding my hand on, but i cant even begin to guess how long it took before i started feeling it in my arm. maybe im overestimating and it was more like a pathetic ten minutes lol. either way, once the pain started, it felt like time was slowing down even though i couldnt see it. soon enough, my arm was beginning to shake. up until this moment i felt like was i was coasting, but not the struggle was coming into play. the physical struggle of my arm staying up, and the mental struggle trying not to give into it. i wish i could tell you how long i fought the fight, but i have no idea. my hands began to shake, the dimes pressed into the wall with my sweaty hand. one dime dropped from my pinky unable to hold it there anymore. this was a blow mentally, hearing the hear scrap the wall and hit the floor. it started a chain reaction when my arm gave out completely.

the sound of those dimes falling and hitting the floor was a mental blow. i felt the weight of 5 no touch days crashing onto me. i wanted to cry. i had tried so hard to keep my arm up, but i had nothing left in my arm to continue holding it up. from there on out it was just the dime that i could barely see in front of me. i had to be mentally tough for the rest of the challenge. 5 days of no touch is devastating, but that 6th felt like the 6th circle of hell i did not want to experience. however long was left in the challenge felt like a whole other hour to go through. i just wanted it to be over with. it felt good having my left arm down now, but i still had keep my focus on my nose. i did everything in my power to keep that focus and not break

but at long last, the timer on my phone went off. i made it! sure i only held 1 up of the 6 total, but that felt like a huge victory after the 5 fell pretty much at the same time. i was so mentally exhausted after this. i had to sit down right away. ill be honest, once it settled in i was going to have 5 no touch days, i got kinda down. if you know me, i hate no touch. im open and honest about that. it just plain sucks. but some time to think about it, and a helpful talk with @dirtynerd-83 i am feeling better about it. its going to be tough but i will get through it. in the end it helps me with continuing my denial. that is whats important. but still...

next week is going to suck!!! 😥

[madsworld15]

Part 2 of Heal Me, Hold Me, Make Me, Know Me

Part of my Asexual as Folk series

I won't be able to write much this weekend, so I am hoping this installment will tide people over until either Sunday evening or Monday morning.

Twenty minutes later, Brian stood up and walked back inside the hospital. He didn’t want to have to make any decisions about Justin’s care, but if Jennifer needed him to help her, he would. He couldn’t exactly say what had changed his mind, but it came down to the fact that he didn’t want anyone to have to be alone in all this. He and Jennifer included.

Weird. I’ve always pushed myself to be independent and not need love. Now, here I am, deciding that if she asks me again, I will make a decision with her about her son. Her son, who I care deeply about, against my better judgment.

When he stepped back inside, he found Debbie standing off to the side, talking to Daphne, who was crying, and Michael, who was not. Brian knew he should talk to Daphne, they had a mutual bond because of Justin, and she deserved to hear about it from him. But, he was still so numb and adrift after the meeting with the doctor. He wasn’t sure he could handle all of Daphne’s emotions on top of that.

So, instead, he turned toward the other end of the hall, where he was certain Jennifer would still be. Without a word to his family, Brian headed toward Justin’s. He hadn’t taken more than two steps when he felt a hand envelope his own. He looked down to see long, slender fingers. Without looking up, he knew that they belonged to Emmett. Bless that sweet man for always knowing the right thing to do in a crisis. Brian was closer to Michael, even when they were distant from each other, like now, but Michael was useless in situations where emotions ran high. No, Brian didn’t need Michael right now; he needed Emmett.

The two men arrive at the conference room once more and find Jennifer sitting where Brian had left her. She had her cell phone in her left hand and a crumpled tissue in her right. A pile of used tissues sat on the table in front of her. She was staring, unseeing, straight ahead. Emmett immediately sat down next to her while Brian hung back. He’d been touching and hugging people more in the last 5 hours than he had in the last 5 years. He was at his limit.

“It was his birthday.” Jennifer’s statement came out in a whisper, wettened by the tears still flowing down her face.

That one sentence broke Brian. His knees buckled, and he had to force himself into a chair of his own. How had he forgotten it was Justin’s birthday? What god and what universe allows a person to be attacked an inch of his life on his birthday?

“Fuck.” Brian let his breath out, and the tears started anew.

Emmett squeezed Jennifer against his side as he also reached for Brian’s hand.

“What can I do?” He asked, looking between the two people he was trying to keep steady.

Jennifer bit her lip and then finally turned her head toward them. “I called his father. He’s not coming. It seems he believes Justin brought this on himself.”

The anger within Brian bubbled to the surface, and he clenched his fists, forgetting that Emmett had one in his grip. He couldn’t believe a parent would be so heartless as to say he deserved to be bashed. And to say it to his obviously grieving ex-wife, the mother of said child? Unforgivable.

“I thought my dad was bad.” Brian spat out, the words feeling like fire on his tongue.

Jennifer gave a wet laugh, “Craig is, well, he’s something. I just regret that it took me until now to officially leave him. Justin deserved better.”

They all fell silent for some time. Brian could hear every tick of the clock on the wall. He wanted to know if Jennifer had made any decisions yet, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Emmett, who hated silences, even if they were comfortable, cleared his throat and spoke up.

“What matters most is that you are here now. He is lying there in the ICU, broken and bruised, in need of his mom, and you are here.” Jennifer nodded to indicate that she understood.

“I’m sorry.” Brian’s voice filled the empty space left behind when Emmett stopped talking.

“Brian –” Emmett started to reassure him that he had nothing to apologize for, but Brian shrugged him off.

“I should have followed him out of the club. I shouldn’t have been a colossal jackass to him in the days leading up to this. If I hadn’t, he wouldn’t have felt the need to go to Babylon.” Brian rambled, his eyes fixed on his hands that were still in fists.

“Brian, YOU are NOT to blame.” Emmett’s words came out firm but loving. “You didn’t punch him and kick him. In fact, you have only ever respected him and cared about him.”

“As for Babylon, I was the one who urged him to go out for his birthday. He just wanted to have a quiet night in and watch movies. If we are going to play a blame game for why he was there, then I am the reason, not you.”

“Neither of you are to blame.” Jennifer butted in. “You both were there for him when I refused to be. We can’t sit here and blame ourselves for the actions of those three who attacked him. We all have to be strong and support him through the road ahead.”

She paused, got up from her seat, and moved closer to Brian. Then, surprising him, she leaned over and wrapped him in a hug. 

“You heard the doctor. Justin has multiple surgeries and months of rehab to look forward to. He’s going to need people there to support him.” 

Brian hesitated before he wrapped his arms around Justin’s mom as well. He breathed in her vanilla scent and allowed her warm embrace to comfort him. Here was a woman who had every right to hate him. He was much older than her son and was Justin’s chosen partner. Instead, she chose to love and appreciate his presence in her son’s life. This was all foreign territory for Brian. Most people immediately criticized his influence on the people he cared about, thinking he was too selfish. But, Mrs. Taylor was here accepting him as he was for the sake of her son. A small voice at the back of Brian’s brain told him not to get comfortable and that she would probably turn on him eventually. But for now, he was going to soak up this feeling. It helped to keep his fears at bay.

Jennifer pulled back, “We should probably go and update the others, Daphne and…that woman…”

“Debbie.” Emmett and Brian said at once. They shared a small smile.

“Yes, Debbie. We should update them.” Jennifer stood up and grabbed her purse. She deposited all the used tissues in the trash, wiped the tear tracks from her face, and put on a fake smile before she left the room.

Emmett followed her soon after, but Brian hung back briefly. He needed to compose himself. It was one thing to allow Emmett and Jennifer to see him break down. He couldn’t do that in front of Daphne. While it wasn’t the first time Debbie or Michael would’ve seen him crack under pressure, he wasn’t in the mood for their comfort right now. 

He needed to be sure that when he went out there, his demeanor reflected the stoic person he always was. It would encourage the huggers of the group to leave him alone. Which, if Debbie could be counted on for anything, it was running her mouth. He was sure more people probably arrived by now to stand vigil for someone they didn’t really know but mattered to Brian, so they cared. Sure enough, upon reaching the part of the hallway where he’d left Debbie before, he found Lindsay and Ted had joined the group.

“Doesn’t anyone have anything better to do? It’s not like he knows you are here.” Brian rolled his eyes and pulled out his cigarettes. He knew he couldn’t smoke inside, but damn did he want to.

“Then why are you here?” Mikey whined from his spot next to Debbie.

Brian shook his head slightly in disbelief, pinched the bridge of his nose, and finally responded. 

“Because he’s my bo— because we are seeing each other.” Brian caught himself before he said the dreaded word, but a look around revealed that Debbie, Lindsay, and Emmett were giving each other knowing smiles. 

“I’m grateful that someone has been here with him since it happened.” Daphne stepped forward and moved to touch Brian’s arm, but he took a step back.

“Yeah, well, someone had to. He was pretty beat up.” Brian shrugged and tried to act nonchalantly.

“I was there too.” Michael started to chime in, but Brian stepped up to him and cut him off.

“You stood there and didn’t do shit!” His frustration at the whole situation poured out of him and landed on the one thing he could control — Michael.

“Fuck off, Brian! He wouldn’t have been out there if you’d paid him any attention!” Michael spat back, his words having no truth to them but still cutting deep.

“The two of you need to stop!” Debbie got between them, giving them both a stern mother look.

“Maybe if you’d done something, they wouldn’t have been able to kick his head and cause his brain to swell!” Brian threw at Michael despite Debbie’s admonishment.

“Brian!” Debbie turned all her attention to him. “I know you are hurting, and when that happens, you make those around you hurt, but placing the blame on Michael isn’t fair, and you know it.”

Brian was so angry at everything going on that he couldn’t even see straight. He knew Debbie was right, but it didn’t help that her son wanted to try and claim he was there for Justin when he wasn’t. He’s never once cared for the blonde ever. 

“I’m going to get a coffee.” Brian stepped away from Daphne and the Novotnys. 

“I think we should all go home and get some rest. We can come back in a few hours, in shifts, to visit him during visiting hours.” Debbie said, looking around at the family like she meant business. “That includes you, Brian. You need sleep, honey.”

The thought of going home terrified Brian. Even if Jennifer was there to keep an eye on him, Brian couldn’t imagine going across town to his loft right now. It was too far away.

“Debbie, is it?” Jennifer finally stepped forward, “I think Brian should stay here. Just in case something happens. I don’t want to be here alone.”

Brian would never be able to say it, but in that moment, he thought Jennifer was heaven on earth.

*****

As the sun rose, Brian sat in that sterile hallway. Jennifer was right next to him with her hand on his knee. After Debbie and everyone else had left, Brian had calmed down enough to allow Jennifer to give him the barest of touches in the hours since she hadn’t moved her hand, not once. 

Brian leaned to the right, allowing his right arm to support his head. He knew he should probably sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Justin lying on the ground in a puddle of his own blood. It was something he would give up his loft and all the money in his bank account to never see again.

He heard a muffled noise next to him. It sounded like voices, but he couldn’t make out the words. Brian rubbed his eyes and straightened up. He looked over to Jennifer and found her looking at him expectantly.

“Huh?” Brian stifled a yawn.

“I asked what you do. What’s your job? I’m assuming you have one.”

Brian let out a chuckle. “Advertising Executive.” 

For the first time since Justin had jumped off the stage at Babylon Brian smiled, genuinely smiled.

“Sorry. You reminded me of Justin just then. He would’ve smirked at me and said, ‘Assuming you have a job’.” Brian ducked his head and stared at his hands, which he had his right grasping his left with the thumb and forefinger applying pressure to his left palm. 

“Don’t apologize,” Jennifer whispered. “I love knowing that others appreciate his sarcasm and wit like I do. He’s always been so much brighter than his peers. He got a 1500 on his SAT. Did you know that?”

Brian shook his head, then tilted his chin up so he could make sideways eye contact with the woman next to him. 

“But I’m not surprised. He told me once his father wanted him to go to Dartmouth. I knew then he was smarter than I could ever hope to be.”

Jennifer reached across and separated his hands in order to clasp his left one between both of hers.

“I don’t know you very well, Brian, but I know you are kinder and smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

Brian scoffed. But stopped the minute Jennifer continued.

“You saved my son's life. I will always be grateful to you for that.”

Brian’s throat thickened, and tears threatened to fall once more. He was saved from responding by the appearance of Justin’s doctor.

“Mrs. Taylor, it’s still not visiting hours, but we decided as a group that Justin might benefit from human contact that isn’t his medical team.” The doctor took a deep breath. “Would you like to see your son?”

Then he paused briefly before adding, “You can come too, Mr.” And then he looked stressed that he didn’t know Brian’s name.

“Kinney. My name is Brian Kinney.” He stood up and walked with Jennifer down a completely different hallway.

“Be aware Justin is still unconscious and on the ventilator. But we were able to lower his settings and hope that by tomorrow he can be weaned off.” 

Brian and Jennifer silently nodded their heads. He found himself grabbing onto Jennifer’s hand and holding on tight. His brain couldn’t make up its mind whether or not he wanted to be touched. Most of the time it all felt too much, but as they walked toward the door that Justin lay behind, Brian felt the need to have something grounding him or else he might float away. 

How could it be that this young man has changed his whole center of being in just 6 months?

Brian held his breath as they arrived at Justin’s room. He could see him through the glass doors and adjoining columns of windows. For someone whose personality made him brighter than sunshine and bigger than life, Justin was now so pale and small.

The sounds of the ventilator worked in tandem with the steady beat of Justin’s heart monitor. If it weren’t for the bandage around his head and his hand propped on pillows with rods sticking up out of it, Brian could easily say he was sleeping. In fact, Justin looked so similar to all those early mornings that Brian woke up to find him in the bed next to him.

“He looks as though he could wake up any moment,” Jennifer spoke his thoughts out loud. Brian just nodded.

He removed his hand from Jennifer’s, and she immediately moved in, placing her loving hands against any visible part of his face she could find.

“Oh, Justin. I’m here. And Brian’s here. You aren’t alone.” At Jennifer’s words, Brian sat in the chair on the other side of the bed and squeezed Justin’s leg.

“I’m right here. I see your hurt, Justin Taylor.”

If Jennifer was curious about Brian’s words, she didn’t say. Brian was grateful for that. He sat there silently, watching Justin’s heart beat out the steady rhythm. For the briefest of moments, he wondered if he should pray to God. But then he remembered he didn’t believe in that sort of thing. All those years of being forced to sit in a church and pray for absolution from sins he never committed turned him away from any kind of all-powerful being.

As if she could sense his thoughts, Jennifer spoke. “Do you believe in God, Brian?”

Brian shook his head, not wanting to say too much, but then one more look at Justin, and he changed his mind.

“I was raised in the Catholic church. My mom forced me to go multiple times a week until I was 12. Then I got taller than her and simply refused to go. I already knew I was gay and couldn’t bear sitting through lecture after lecture about how I was going against God. How could God create me as I was supposed to be but then hate me?” Brian shrugged.

“So, I stopped going. Met my best friend, Michael and went to Sunday dinners at his house instead.”

“I was never an avid churchgoer, but I guess you could say I believe. In times like this, I feel like it’s all I have.”

Jennifer ran her hands along Justin’s blankets, tucking them or straightening them where she saw fit. After a few minutes of this she looked up at Brian, and gave him a sad smile.

“You wouldn’t understand, but when you become a parent, the person you once were stops existing, and in its place is someone who would do anything for that child in your arms. If I could trade places with him right now, I would.”

“I do know. I have a son.” Brian licked his lips and allowed his mind to turn to Gus for the briefest of moments.

“That’s right. Justin drew a picture of you and him for the art show.”

“Gus.” Brian forced a smile and looked up at Jennifer.

She smiled to herself, “You know, Justin had a stuffed bear when he was little that he named Gus.”

“No, I didn’t know that.” Brian smiled back at her.

“But, I’m not a father.” Brian had become too uncomfortable with his vulnerability, so he put his walls back up. “I simply gave a donation so that my friends could have a child.”

Jennifer’s hand landed on top of Brian’s, “I would hazard to guess Justin sees you better than anyone else. And since he drew you taking care of your son, I’d say you are a dad.”

[jinx-blackout-84]

My highschool quote book:

----

"Violence is never the answer.... unless it is" (said with a mischievous look)

----

"I won't give you a 100 on assignment you didn't do"

"Not even for my birthday?"

".....it's not your birthday"

----

"I'm going to lick your shoulder" -girl 1

"DO NOT LICK MY SHOULDER" -girl 2

"Then cover it up, whore." -girl 1

-----

"Here's the thing, if someone licks your shoulder because you don't have it covered, that's on you," - math teacher

----

"Okay but the submissionn didn't work and the document got deleted. I did the assignment, I swear!"

"What was the passage you had to read with the questions about, then?"

".....I prefer not to answer"

"Yeah. Sit down."

----

"You guys are great. Not because youre a good class, I hate this class, but because you all turned in your presentations, and I didn't expect any of you to do it." -English teacher

----

"Hey so the presentation was supposed to be between 3-5 minutes. Yours was 23 seconds." -English teacher

".......well you can't say I wasn't efficient!"

----

"Are those drugs or tictacs? If theyre adderall I want one"

"Tictacs."

(At least 6 dissapointed sighs)

----

(For refrence they are both straight guys)

"Stop using my phone to take pictures of guy 1, I don't even know him." -Me

"But he's so hottttt....." -guy 2

----

"Can I touch your nipples?" -guy 2

"Not in public, babe" -guy 1

----

"So I was walking past the makeout hallway"

Guy 2, excitedly, "THERES A MAKEOUT HALLWAY??? TEACHER ME AND GUY 1 NEED TO GO ON A BATHROOM BREAK"

"You need to not fail my class. Do your notes."

----

"Guy 2, can you stay over tonight?" -guy 1

"OoOoH do you want to kiss me????"-Guy 2

"No I want to play video games." - guy 1

----

"So basically we are making a petition so me and guy 5 can be cheerleaders" -guy 4

"so I'll see you in a skirt?" -guy 6

"yes." -guy 4

"Can I sign this more than once?" -guy 6

(They did not get to be cheerleaders)

----

"Okay, so you know the the college fair is today-" -math teacher

(Girl raises hand)

"Can I sleep on the floor instead of attending?" -girl 3

"Are you referring to actual college or just the college fair?" -math teacher

"Both. You never answered my question" -girl 3

"You may not sleep through the college fair." -math teacher

"This is why the school system is failing." -girl 3

----

"Penis exploding machine"

----

"Project emo"

----

"Is it a vape?" -English teacher

"...Its a highlighter" -4 people say at once (it was a pink highlighter)

----

"Google search how to kill your entire family?"

----

"I feel like the second someone becomes famous they are immediately imbued with the urge to touch children" -Me

----

"I wouldn't kill you guys, that's too much work." -English teacher

----

"Am I watching a drug deal happen right now? What is happening?" -English teacher

"No I just give him money because he's my friend"

----

"Pov: the girlies go on a road trip to cannibalize politicians" - Me

----

"I wasnt looking at your boobs because they're sexy, im staring at them because I'm a fucking idiot" - Me

----

"As a proud part of the gay." - Me

----

"Everybody's parents die at some point, you dont have to be so sad about it" -Me

----

"Are you having a boy or an abortion?"

----

"I wont make you touch Jeremy's vagina, Guy 7, you don't like those" -Me

(Jeremy is an airpod case. His vagina is the charging port. Guy 7 is gay)

----

"Save that for your discord boy" - Me

----

"if your nipples are purple, you're not a virgin" - Me

----

"I do not condone racism" -Guy 7

----

"I encourage realistic thinking, not positive, but realistic" - English teacher

----

"School is about doing things you don't like" -English teacher

----

"shit down" -English teacher

----

"Karate in the English room is a no" -Me

 ----

"He dance battled too hard, the cops went after him" -Guy 7

----

"I think, had he not insisted upon gyrating at people, the cops may not have been involved" -Me

----

"Note to self: the cops do not appreciate being thrust at or run from" -Me

----

"you cant have too many grandpas, don't get greedy, guy 7" -Me

---- 

"I hate this ruler..."(Darkly) "I have to snap it in half"

[themuseoftheviolets]

shine

for @sapphicmarauding july 5 prompt: shine

pairing: emcas / wc: 1,038

Emmeline Vance shines. It's a universal rule. The sun rises every morning, the neighbor's dog barks everytime the mailman comes, and Dorcas’ best friend is always a beacon of sunlight and laughter.

Except that Dorcas hasn't seen her so much as smile in a month, ever since she found out that her ex girlfriend cheated on her, and Dorcas is about five minutes away from going to that girl's house and hexing her straight to hell for hurting Emmeline.

Dorcas never liked Aurora. Not when they first met her at a Hufflepuff party in sixth year, not when she started hanging out with them the following summer, and especially not when she and Emmeline officially got together.

"I think you're just jealous." Pandora had said one day. Emmeline had left to go on a date with Aurora, and Dorcas had launched into a ten minute long rant about how Aurora did not deserve her best friend almost immediately after the door closed.

"I am not!" Dorcas had protested, mentally cursing Pandora for being so blunt all the time, and for not supporting Dorcas in her hatred. "I'm just worried about our friend! That girl is going to break her heart."

Pandora had given her a disbelieving look that day, but Dorcas had been right, hadn't she?

Aurora didn't deserve Emmeline, and Dorcas knew that from the very beginning. Jealousy didn't have anything to do with it, no matter how much Dorcas' heart races everytime Emmeline so much as touches her, and no matter how many times she's thought that Emmeline should go out with her instead, because Dorcas would be a much better girlfriend than Aurora.

No, she wasn't jealous at all.

☆☆☆

"Can I ask you something?" Emmeline is fiddling with the hem of her shirt, which she always does whenever she wants to talk about something important.

Dorcas immediately puts away the drawing she's been half-heartedly working on for the past hour. "Anything."

They're in Dorcas' room, and Emmeline is laying on the bed, looking up at the little stars Dorcas glued on the ceiling when she was twelve. Dorcas is sitting at the foot of the bed, and she had been trying (and failing) to not stare at Emmeline with her messy hair and wrinkled shirt.

"Why didn't you ever tell me not to date Aurora, if you hated her so much?"

"What?" Dorcas says, trying her best to sound like she has no idea what Emmeline is talking about. "I didn't hate her."

Emmeline snorts. "Yes, you did. You always looked at her like you wanted to push her down the stairs. So why did you never say anything?"

Dorcas sighs. "You wouldn't have listened."

Emmeline raises an eyebrow at her.

"And Pandora told me not to. She said that all that mattered was that you loved her, so I should just let it be."

Emmeline is silent for a moment, looking at the ceiling with a frown. "I didn't, actually."

"Didn't what?"

"Love her." Emmeline replies. Her voice is quiet when she says it, and she clears her throat before continuing. "I liked her, but I don't think I loved her."

"Oh." Dorcas says, and she's relieved. "You're not in love with her?" She asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"I don't think," Emmeline starts. She's still looking at the ceiling, still fiddling with her shirt. She's nervous, Dorcas can tell. "I don't think that I ever really wanted to be with her, to be honest."

Dorcas feels her heart flutter, and she bites down on her cheek. "What do you mean?"

Emmeline sighs, sitting up on the bed. Her knees bump into Dorcas', and she can feel her heart start to race. "I think that I dated her just to prove to myself that I could move on and find someone else."

"Move on?" Dorcas asks, confused. Emmeline hadn't dated anyone before Aurora. "From who?"

"Come on Cas, don't make me say it." Emmeline says, turning her face away from her.

"Say what, Em?"

Emmeline looks at her then, and Dorcas' heart does a funny little flip. "So I could prove to myself that I could be happy with someone other than you."

Dorcas is sure she's misheard, because Emmeline doesn't like her like that. There's no way that she does. But then Dorcas thinks back to all the times that Emmeline would flirt with her, only to take it back and say it was a joke when Dorcas would roll her eyes.

She thinks back to all the times Emmeline would squeeze Dorcas' hand when she got excited about something, and about how Emmeline always seems to find a reason to touch her, even if it's just to brush their shoulders together when walking or to catch a fallen eyelash on her cheek. Do these touches have the same effect on Emmeline as they have on Dorcas?

"I'm sorry." Emmeline says, bringing Dorcas back to reality. She realizes then that she's been quiet for too long, and Emmeline has a panicked look on her face as she gets up. "I shouldn't have said anything, I-"

"Em," Dorcas says, rushing to take a hold of Emmeline's hands before she gets away. "Em, wait, don't."

"I don't know why I said that, I-"

"Emmeline!" Dorcas says, pulling her back down onto the bed. "It's okay, please. I just- You just took me by surprise."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, don't apologize." Dorcas says. She can feel her hands shaking. Emmeline isn't looking at her, and Dorcas hates herself for fumbling this. "You-" She starts, then clears her throat. "Do you mean that you wanted to be with me?"

"Of couse I do." Emmeline says. "Cas, I've been in love with you since I was fifteen."

Dorcas can't help but break into a smile then, because she's been in love with Emmeline for the same amount of time, but she had never thought Emmeline would feel the same way.

"Really? You mean that?"

"Yes."

"Oh, thank God." Dorcas says, and when Emmeline turns to look at her again Dorcas kisses her. "I love you too, Em, of course I do."

When Emmeline pulls away, she's smiling. Shining. And everything is right with the world again.

[lookatmetv]

Episode 2 : Save

[ starting in 1..2..3 ]

[Crystal and Dg are seen in a pitch-black room beneath a lightbulb]

Crystal : Hello everyone and welcome to LookatmeTV again. We sincerely apologize for the chaos that occurred in the last episode, and we promise to ensure that all of our candidates behave themselves in this episode.

[ the camera zooms out to reveal 5 of the 10 contestants, Vin, Gun, Goo, Eli, and Zack, tied up to a chair ]

DG : not that they have a choice anyways

Vin : what the -

[ DG putting a tape over vin mouth ]

Eli : Is this even legal ?

Crystal : Want me to read the contract out loud?

Eli : …

Zack : you guys just brought us here and bought some buffy guys to tie us-

DG : don't worry if you are likable enough, the other contestants may save you

Goo: what is that supposed to mean?!

[ the camera cut to a light green room where the other 5 contestant are sitting in ]

Zoe : Wait, so we have to untie them in 20 minutes?

Crystal: That's right!

Daniel: What will happen if we run out of time?

DG: Oh, they will get kicked out of the show

Mira: But that's just not fair

DG : well that's the rules 

Jay: ...

Daniel: Yeah, I agree; that's kind of cruel

Crystal : He didn't even talk—you know what, never mind; let's just begin.

[Zoe looks straight at the camera with suspicion]

Zoe: Okay, sure.

[The tenants enter the dark room, and DG closes the door at them.]

Euntae: are you two coming-

[ slam ]

Zoe: I guess they aren't

[Mira ran to Zack]

Mira: Are you okay?

Zack: Yeah, those buffoons have nothing against me.

[gun has already freed himself and is waiting patiently in the chair.]

Zoe : Can I just act like I was the one who untied you?

Gun : …

Zoe: I will take that as a yes

[ the camera cut to daniel and goo ] 

Goo: Ew, don't touch me with your poor hands.

Daniel: I'm trying to free you???

[ the camera cut to Jay watching Vin muffling while shaking his chair]

[ jay took the tape out of vin mouth ]

Vin : ouch you blonde bastard 

Jay : … 

[ the camera suddenly cut to DG and crystal sitting in the company cafeteria ]

[ DG is busy eating his food while crystal is laying her head on the table ]

DG : i think zoe figured it out 

Crystal : no crap? who the hell would want 5 contestants to get kicked out in the second episode only 

DG : hey i just said that lie to see if they care for eachother or not 

Crystal : how many minutes are left??

DG : 13 , but hey editors do you mind making it 5 ?

[ a ‘ well he did give us food..’ in blue letters flashed on the screen ]

[ the camera cut to jay and vin again ]

[ zoe checks the timer that was put in the wall ]

Zoe : hey what the hell it became 5 minutes all of a sudden 

Zack : those [beep] are cheating 

Vin : you blonde bastard free me 

[ jay stared at vin for a moment and went to help vasco free eli instead ]

Vin : you [beep]

Euntae : oh hey jay!

[ now eli , goo , gun and zack are freed ] 

[ the 9 contestant stood in front of vin ]

Vin : you nine [beep] i swear to god am going to [beep] kill you all 

Zoe : can we leave him please ? 3 minutes are left

[ jay started nodding aggressively ] 

Daniel : oh come on guys 

Goo : lets leave his dumb[beep]

[ 10..9…8]

Vin : you [beep]

[ Jay smiled and pink hearts started popping up in the screen ]

Daniel : oh well 

Vin : excuse me?!

[ 5..4..3]

Vin : i hate each and everyone of you 

[ Ring ]

[ crystal and DG entered the room ]

Crystal : Oh! It seems like vin is the only one who hadn't been saved 

Vin : those [beep] [beep] [beep] they are [beep] [beep]

DG : Don't worry we are not going to kick you out that was a joke 

Zoe : what!?

[ Jay shed a tear and broken hearts started popping up in the screen]

Daniel : oh thats good news 

Vin : shut up you [ beep ]

[ ‘ this guy is exhausting💢 ‘ with red letters flashed on the screen ]

[ all of a sudden vin jumped at jay ]

DG : woah

Crystal : what the hell

Vin : you blonde [beep]

[ jay and vin started punching each other ]

DG : well thank you everyone , we have reached the end of our episode

Eli : that was quick...

DG : well if it wasn't for those-

[ The show logo flashed on the screen and the credits started rolling]

[ while the credits were rolling 3 different voices can be heard talking about the contestants ]

[fountainpenguin]

I came across your story "Flypaper" about the superhero convention (Fun read! Highly recommend!) and I was just wondering if you had any other interaction headcanons that didn't make the final draft?

Oh thank you... and oh, yes. I didn't include him because I knew no one would know who he is, but I love one special, incredibly charming boy... King Off-Putting himself... Bruno :)

He is so very... uncomfortable to be around.

I had one line referencing Bruno and Danny in "Flypaper" but hhh... Dead Boy Duo, my beloved... I want them to be friends so bad, I want them to be sassy partners in the field, I want this with all my soul. They're brothers in spirit... Their moms have the same voice actor... Please, they would be so funny together.

I know there are oodles of fictional spy agencies in media, but I've always been a Bruno the Kid fan at heart. Ever since I first watched Danny Phantom, I've loved the idea of Globe getting in touch with Danny post-"Phantom Planet" and inviting him into the agency... Sometimes Bruno's villains canonically die instead of going to jail and I think Bruno and Danny would be a silly pair. Two "dead" (they got better!) cartoon boys goofing off and takin' names.

Specifically, Chick E. Love would have a flippin' field day burning holes in the Ghost Zone, unleashing wave after wave of ghosts into the world, and I just really want Bruno to do his "If I ever use a spy gadget the way it's intended I will die" schtick while Danny keeps dumping all the Fenton ghost-hunting gear on him...

I want the sassy boys to drive everyone up the wall. Bruno tolerated being bullied for about 5 seconds and then ruined that kid's life slkdjf. Cheerfully told Cy what he wanted to put on his tombstone. He does not mess around. I want Bruno to straight-up kill a man again and Danny to lose his mind.

Bruno is the boy who ran gleefully towards an electric fence with intent to climb it. He literally targeted HIMSELF with a missile in an attempt to win a chess game. I want the crossover joy of Danny throwing himself at everything that might kill Bruno and Bruno just Does Not Sweat It... Stupid.

[More under the cut]

Anyway yeah I have very normal feelings about "Dead Boy Walking" as an episode. Bruno's enemies pinning him down and injecting a terminal disease in his system... Bruno stumbling around until he hallucinates his best friend giving him self-care advice... Bruno quietly sitting down and staring into the void, separating himself from the ongoing conversation, instead of engaging in his usual banter... Boy crosses Australia on borrowed time, his legs give out beneath him at the worst moment, he's still wheezing about how he's going to do everything in his power to save others, just a little kid lying on the cold floor alone while Sydney gloats that he only has minutes left to live... His enemies making out over his unmoving body... I am so normal about this episode.

I just want Bruno and Danny to be friends :) I think they would vibe with each other even though they'd both want to bonk the other on the head. I so very badly want to see the first moment Danny realizes "Oh... Oh, this guy's, like... serious. He will kill people if I take my eyes off him." sldkfj Bruno's so intense and I love him. Danny is so tired and I love him. I want to see the first moment Bruno blearily wakes up to realize Danny just saved him from a ghost's revenge attack in the middle of the night. I love the Dead Boy Duo.

I only threw one line about these two hanging out in "Flypaper," but in my heart they spent the whole convention together because they're co-workers... they are buddies, your honor.

I do not think WordGirl would like Bruno at all because he comes off as a smarmy, know-it-all creep to those who aren't familiar with his sense of humor... Kid Math should not be left alone with him because he's very impressionable and Bruno is a terrible influence slkjdf.

Here's a little deleted scene I had:

I also had a loose draft for a scene of WordGirl and Super Why getting milkshakes with some other hero friends when Kid Math finds them again. WordGirl greets him like "Oh, how's your day going?" and Kid Math is just... very overwhelmed from his experience of interacting with two fast-paced sassy kids while he's still struggling to grasp the concept of superhero banter. Like. Bruno and Danny would destroy him. Blow his mind. There's no coming back from that.

So yeah, Bruno was definitely at the convention... I just didn't show him apart from that one-liner about him hanging out with Danny. "Flypaper" was really fun to write. I don't plan to do a crossover like this again any time soon, but the convention was a cool setting to explore and I'm glad you enjoyed! <3

One of my favorite stupid jokes in "Flypaper" is that Romeo was being a troublemaker in the daytime and WordGirl asked if he was "even allowed to do that" since he's supposed to be a "nighttime villain" in the PJ Masks lore... But tbh I watched a lot of Romeo clip compilations before this story and ?? apparently it's just a thing that Romeo regularly commits crime during the day and the PJ Masks literally hang back and wait until nightfall before they fight him?? That's SO funny to me.

(I also don't understand when the PJ Masks sleep and if anyone has the answer, please drop it in my inbox because I'd love to know but I also don't want to binge the series over this, ha ha)

I also wanted to make a joke about Alphapig being 5 years younger than the rest of the Super Readers because the amount I lost my mind when I saw that on the [unsourced] Super Why wiki was indescribable. POV: One of your friends is a princess, at least one is in college, and you're starting high school.

(I'm dying at the idea of three 10-year-olds running around Storybrook Village and there's a 5-year-old tagging along with them. The mental image of 7-year-old Whyatt taking a 3 or 4-year-old pig under his wing as his new friend... Such a good boy.)

After Tobey launched Romeo off his robot, I had WordGirl catch him, but I'd originally hoped to have Kick Buttowski catch him because I thought writing cool skateboard rescue mission would be fun. It seemed like it would just be shoving in an extra character who didn't need to be there, though, and it risked dragging down the scene with introductions and descriptions, but in my heart, Kick was at the convention too. Extreme.

I think another of my fave dumb jokes was just... WordGirl approaching the superhero panel she's supposed to speak on, she looks out into the crowd, but then she's like "Oh no the entire Paw Patrol are watching me, this is so much pressure."

Nothing to see here, just Baby Dog Squad taking notes... I still think about that randomly throughout the day and giggle. I love this 'fic.

[doevademe]

Prompt: Percy, Nico and baby Emilia are having a nice family time at the parc (or some other public place) Nico leaves for a minute but when he comes back he find Percy surrounded but ladies who could not not go talk to that handsome guy who seems to be a wonderful dad ( we all know how attractive it is). Percy being Percy ofc thinks they re just cooing over Emmy but Nico being Nico knows better and can t let that happen. I need drama, yes.

It was supposed to be a fun day at the beach.

Percy had convinced him that it would be better to see if Emilia had an affinity for water as a grandchild of Poseidon by going to a public beach, the safest place since there were mortals all around.

Unfortunately, his husband had forgotten many of the essentials when packing, really only bringing along swimsuits and a change of clothes.

It had been a pain to Shadow Travel from Florida to New York and back to get Emmy's diaper bag, and take some sunscreen and towels while he was at it.

All in all, it took him 27 minutes to get everything ready and go back (yes, he had counted, whether it was to shove that in Percy's face or not was no one's business but theirs).

It was all it took for Percy to be surrounded by at least 5 women, with the oldest being in her forties and the youngest couldn't be older than twenty.

"She's already learning to eat on her own," Percy was telling them, gushing about their daughter. If he were paying attention, he would notice that they were all looking at his bare chest and not at Emilia, who was nestled against it. "Seeing her try to grab the spoon is adorable!"

"I bet it is," One of the women said with a sigh. "Why isn't the mother here?"

Nico raised an eyebrow. That one went straight for the kill. He also noticed her wording, avoiding calling someone Percy's girlfriend or wife.

"Oh, Emmy has no mom," Percy said in a cheerful tone. The women still 'aww'ed and some even put their hands around their chests. Nico had to resist the urge to gag. "But she doesn't need one, do you Emmy? Because you are so loved!"

"You're so good with her," the youngest woman said, she approached to touch Emilia (and maybe Percy too, while she was at it), only for the girl to scream at the top of her lungs. "Oh!"

"That's my girl," Nico muttered, smirking.

Percy started rocking her a bit, trying to check for anything wrong with her.

"Is it your diaper, sweetie?" Percy asked, worried. He spared an apologetic glance at the women before turning his full attention to Emilia. "Don't worry, papa will fix it soon."

And if that wasn't his cue, nothing was.

"I would say sorry I took so long," Nico said loudly, making the women look at him. "But you were the one to leave the baby bag back at home"

"Nico!" Percy said, relieved. "Emmy, papa is here!"

The women looked a bit confused, but Nico sat down and took Emilia from Percy's arms.

"Come here, Principessa," Nico cooed. At seeing him, his daughter stopped crying. "Did you have fun with dad, Emmy? Did you miss your papa?" He said, getting closer to Percy to put on a show. The women squirmed uncomfortably as he stared at them with a raised eyebrow.

"Um... my friends must be wondering where I am," one of the women said, getting up quickly and waving. "It was nice meeting you, Percy, Emilia, um..."

"Nico," he said coldly. Percy had already said his name before. He turned to Percy. "Emmy's fine, just a bit overwhelmed."

"I never know how you can just tell how she feels," Percy said, moving his finger around and watching Emilia's stare following it like a hawk.

"Well, she takes after me," Nico said proudly.

The other women muttered excuses and goodbyes as they left one by one. Nico smiled at all of them, only frowning once the last one left.

"I'm mad at you," he said, taking his distance from him.

"What did I do?" Percy asked, bemused. "Is it because I forgot the baby bag?"

"I leave for half and hour and you're already using our daughter to pick up a harem," he accused without any heat. Emilia gurgled. "Emmy agrees."

Percy's eyes widened.

"A harem? What in Tartarus are you talking about?" He said. "Those women were just enchanted by Emilia! I mean, look at her, she's the cutest baby in the world."

"I know she is, but that's not the reason those women were flocking to you," Nico said. If anything, Percy looked even more confused (it was adorable). "Did you mention me?"

"Of course I did!" He said. "I talked about Emmy's papa all the time!"

"And did those women know that Emmy's papa and dad are two different people?" Nico raised his eyebrow. Percy stared at him before hitting his forehead softly. "I'm not mad at you flirting, because I know you'll never do that. I'm mad at you not noticing they were using our daughter to flirt with you."

"Look, I've dated two... two and a half people in my whole life," Percy said. "You can't expect me to pick up on these things!"

"Half?" Nico asked, blinking.

"Rachel and I never really defined what was going on between us before she became the Oracle, but that's not the point!" Percy said. "I don't notice these things, because I only have eyes for you and Emmy!"

Nico stared at him for a few seconds, but it was Emilia making grabby hands at her dad that made him sigh and pass her to Percy.

"You are way too charming for your own good, Percy Jackson," he said. "Come on, let's introduce Emilia to the sea."

Percy gave him a fleeting kiss and stood up.

"Come on Emmy! You're going to love this!" Percy said. "Your dad is pretty awesome in the water, and your papa was born by the sea!"

Nico smiled as he watched his family. He stood up and followed behind.

[engeorged]

The Restaurant Part Two

A chink of light burst in through the curtains and woke Josh up. He'd had a wierd dream. He dreamt that huge marshmallows were chasing him totally naked through the streets and the only way he could stop it was to eat it. Then no sooner had he crammed the last of the mallow into his mouth another one came tumbling round the corner. The dream felt like it had lasted for hours and hours and his belly was swollen out of all proportions, even though he had absolutely no difficulty in stuffing the next one into his mouth. Groggily he went to push the covers away and get up, but on the way down knocked the top of a large mound and grunted as though he had been hit in the middle. Memories of the previous nights binge started to flood back to him as he pushed himself up with considerable effort and waddled over to the mirror.

''Fuck!'' was all he managed to say as the incredible sight of his new pot belly smacked him in the face. His gut had gone down since the previous night, but it was still no where near his original size. Looking at himself naked in the full length mirror he took in the full extent of what had happened. His pecs were still in tact and his thick thighs had not changed. All that was different was that his gut now started straight under his ribs and jutted out in front of him. The result was a perfectly formed ball, solid and firm, and still incredibly swollen.

Shaking his head in disbelief he turned to see if Dave was still in bed, but his side of the bed was already vacated. He wandered to the bathroom, and took a long satisfying piss, checking himself once more in the mirror. But alas, it was true, the gut was still there. He weighed himsefl on the scales, 263lbs!! That was an increase of 19lbs. There was no way that this could be happening but the facts were all there staring him in his chiselled face. He reached his hand down to caress his belly, and found it incredibly sensitive to touch. Not painful but nice. He rubbed his hand over it and discovered to his horror that that ache he was feeling wasnt pain from the swolleness of his gut but that he washe was feeling ever so slightly hungry.

''You've got to be kidding, I am not going to be able to eat anything for months till i get rid of this thing.'' He muttered to himself. In the distance, he heard the door bang and Daves cheerful voice coming up the stairs. ''You up? I've been to get some breakfast!'

Josh headed downstairs, putting his bath robe on on the way. Turning into the kitchen, he saw Dave unpacking 5 or 6 bags of shoping on to the counter with his back facing him. He heard him come through the door and turned, revealing an equally swollen gut. ''Isn't this wierd? What the fuck happened last night man?'' He exclaimed, lifting his t-shirt up to show his tanned ball. ''I got a few strange looks in Tesco I can tell you!''

''So this is for real? I'm not dreaming.'' said a very confused Josh.

''Damn right its real!'' Replied Dace, starting to cook some bacon ''You famished too?''

''Woah, Wait one minute!!! Are you saying that you're OK with this?'' He said gesturing at his abdomen.

''Well I guess. I mean its here now right, I'm gonna have some fun with this baby for a week or so and then hit the gym. I've been trying to keep my weight low for like ever and now I've got this thing, I'm gonna see what its like for a while. Now, do you want some breakfast or not? I'm just gonna get the milk out the car.''

Stunned, Josh stood there and watched Dave leave. What he'd said had made sense. The gut was there now and there wasnt a lot he could do about it so why not have some fun, It'd only be for a week and besides, there was no way he could eat the amount he'd eaten last night again. What harm could be done. As if to punctuate his decision, the microwave pinged. He walked over and opened it and saw the 12 hot croissant inside. They smelled divine, slowly he reached out and took one. Placing itin his mouth, he felt the same feeling as the previous night and before he coudl stop himself, he'd finished it and was reaching out for a second. By the time Dave came back, they'd all dissapeared down his throat.

''You know it makes sense, now help me cook us a breakfast! This baby needs filling.''

With a shrug to indicate 'whatever' Josh began to help unpack the food and Dave had bought a lot of it. Pastries, meats, cheeses, yougurts and huge freshly baked breads. When it was all laid out on the table, Dave reached over and grabbed Josh's jaw. he opened his mouth and stuffed a donught in. Josh swallowed it hungrily. 'That's the spirit, now dig in!' he roared and dived greedily into the food. 'Every man for himself!' The pair tore into the food, with a renewed passion, stuffing whole rolls into their mouths without bothering to butter them. All Josh could think about was this immense hunger he had, like a hole deep inside his body that had to be filled. The table was packed with food but it was vanishing quickly into the growing men. Pastries went first follwed by the meat. Washing it down with a gallon of milk as if it were nothing. Each totally engrossed.

As soon as it had had started, the binge finished. The pair having eaten the mammoth meal as if it were a childs lunch box. Both now had straining guts the size of the previous night. Drenched in sweat, they sat panting, totally stunned at their appetites. Straining, they looked at each other.

'Fuck! There is no way this is real!' Exclaimed Josh, looking on down on his vast sphere, poking out of his dressing gown. 'There is no way I can fit into any of my clothes now. And I'm still Fucking hungry!'

'Yeah I know! It's incredible! Do you think someone is doing this?' Dave pondered, but before he had chance to follow the thought through, Josh's watch beeped.

'Shit! It's 9 o clock, we're late for our lectures!' Jumping up he sped to the bathroom, slowing down as soon as his straining stomach started to protest. 'Man, I can't move!' He struggled up the stairs and pulled on a pair of tracksuit bottoms, but found that they wouldn't sit around his waist. Leaving them under his gut he pulled on his gap hoodie which was way to large for him any way, but even that seemed to be too small, and sat, stretched around his gut, leaving a good inch of navel on show. He pulled on his shoes and checked his hair in the mirror and went downstairs to the car where Dave was busy moving his seat back so his paunch wouldn't push up against the wheel. Miraculously, they made it to uni with 3 mins to go and each went to his various lectures.

'Meet you in the refrectory at break!' Dave shouted down the corridor.

Josh nodded in agreement and started making his way to his bio chem lecture, turning the corner he bumped straight into the captain of his rugby team. At 6'5 and 280 lbs Ben was a massive guy and built like a barn door, he was wearing his trademark rugby shirt and some old faded jean. His short dark hair and deep brown eyes along with his thick meaty thighs and arms, were the reason Josh had joined the rugby team in the first place. Josh had had a really big crush on Ben for the first 6 months but he'd become a real good friend since. He had tried out for England the year before but had failed to get in as his train was late for the final interview but he was still an excelent rugby player and his size meant he was a excelent weapon on the field. 'Shit, sorry.' he said bending down to help Josh to pick up his papers and banged his head on his belly. 'Woah man whats this?' he asked in his deep voice, his northern Irish accent breaking through. Reaching up he placed his hand on Josh's stomach and gave it a hearty shake. 'I know I said bulk up for the game against Leeds next week, but I didnt mean that much!! You look 6 months pregnant!! Lay off the beer for a few weeks man! Anyway, need to shoot, but don't forget the practise at 3. And remember we're going to go to the pub afterwards, but maybe you'd better stick to the diet coke!' He added as he ran off down the corridor. 'S'ok man, see you later yeah'

He turned and made his way to the lecture theatre. He notised that he was still feeling incredibly hungry, and had had some severe hunger pains, rumbling around his gut. Just before he walked through the door he saw the drinking fountain and decided to have a quick drink. Maybe that would decrease his hunger a bit. He bent down awkwardly and put his lips to the tap pushed to button and gusled hungrly. Suddenly, one of guys, Rick, from the rugby team came up behind him and turned the fawcet for the fountain full on. Water rushed into Josh's mouth at a huge speed. All he could do to prevent himself choking was to swallow. 'Hey man, thats for stealing my clothes at practise last week!' the jock laughed. After 30 seconds he stopped laughing and stared at Josh who was still guzzling at the water. 'Dude, you can stop now! It was only a joke.' He glanced down in disbelief at Josh's gut which seemed to be distending before his eyes. 'Shit man, thats enough! Are you stuck down there or something?' panicing, he tried to pull Josh away

from the fountain, but he wouldnt seem to budge. Josh was a big guy and seemed to be well and truly caught. All the time the fast flowing water was surging into his belly and inflating it up even further. 'Hey, Ian, Amir, come and help me. Josh is stuck to the water fountain.' The two guys ran over and began to pull Josh away. With a huge effort the tugged him free. All four men ended up on the floor, sprawled out on top of each other.

Josh layed on his back and shook his head. When the water started flowing, he couldnt help himself. The hunger again took over him and all he could think about was draining the tap dry. He looked up to discover that he could no longer see anything, as his extensive gut was vlosking everything from his view. His gut had swollen up to nearly twice the size of the previous night and looked like it was about to burst. His skin stretched so tightly it was starting to look shiny and his jumper had ridden up to below his ribs and was revealing the massive expancive ball that had replaced his six pack.

The guys helped him sit up with great effort and he sat on the floor, legs outstretched with his gut sat in between. He could even hear the water sloshing around inside him.

'Holy fuck man, I'm sorry.' Rick garbled, all the colour drained from his face. 'What the fuck have I done? It was only a stupid prank.'

'Dont worry about it,' Josh lied 'I'll piss this off in about an hour, I've always been a good drinker. Now shut up and help me up.'

Rick and Ian held out thier hands and heaved him up. Stood on his feet, Josh felt the water migrating around his stomach, sloshing and gurgling he made his way into the lecture theatre, his hunger temporarily subsided. He crammed himself into the small seat, his belly sitting on top of the desk and got out his laptop. The lecturer walked in and took a double take at the beached whale sat on the front row. 'It's a good job we're talking about nutritional values today. I can see some of you need to start learning how to eat.'

The lecture lasted for a good 2 hours, during which, Josh grew increasingly uncomfortable, for 2 reasons. Firslty, the lecturer was talking about food, and this made his appetite start to creep back and the hunger pains seemed to start up again. Secondly, the water was working around his system and his bladder was filling up. He was desperate for a piss. He even thought he could see that the bottom half of his belly was more rounded out that the top. It was as if his bladder was stretching out to accomodte the gallons of water contained in his body. When the class had finished, Josh squeezed his way out of the class room and half ran, half rolled to the toilets. He made his way to the cubicle and unbuttoned his fly. His sizeable erect cock, which was overly engorged with blood, flopped lazily out and he took it in both hands and started to piss. He groaned with relief. His urine was totally clear and gushed out way more than ever before. He had to lean his head round to make sure he was aiming in the bowl as his belly obstructed his view. Another guy came next to him and started to piss too. He took a glance at Josh and gasped. 'Hey man, guess you needed that huh? Drank a lot last night did we?' Before Josh had finished, 4 other guys came and went. When the stream finally subsided, he shook himself off anfd tucked himself away, notising that his gut had gone down considerably, he was now able to pull his jumper down. Well that was at least till he breathed out and it rode up a few inches again. Washing his hands, he left and made his way to the refrectory to meet Dave. . .

[zmediaoutlet]

One line any fic! Rules: pick ten of your fics, scroll to somewhere midpoint, pick a line chunk and share it, and then tag ten (-ish) people.

Got tagged, am bored, should remember how I used to write, let's try it, why not -- picking 10 somewhat at random from each page on ao3:

the apprentice year (sam/dean, 3k, rated m)

Are you dead. The sentence forms under Sam's tongue and he swallows it. If Dean doesn't know then asking won't help, and if he is then Sam's sunk the same way he's been for the last month. Are you real is the next question, but then if he's not real then that means Sam's crazy, and Sam knows from crazy and, really, if he is, this is the best crazy he could hope for.

Dean's looking at him, not smiling at all, now. I miss you, Dean says, unexpectedly. He flickers—like he did before, a projection cutting out—but he's shaking his head hard when he resolidifies. Shit. I don't—I don't know what that is. I don't get it. You're right here and I'm missing you. How does that work?

2. buccaneer (dean/crowley, 3k, rated e)

Deanna wakes up slowly, in the early evening. Crowley's sitting at the side of the bed, waiting for her. "Mm," is the noise she makes, and he raises his eyebrows, indulgent and curious. "We should have fun, tonight."

"What sort of fun?" he says. He slips his hand over her belly, where it's slightly soft. Too many years of burgers.

"I want—" she starts, and hums, thinking. "Music. Beer."

"Done," he says, and she grins at him, and then snakes a dangerously strong hand around his wrist, squeezes. He looks down at that, and back up at her face, and says, dry, "Unless you'd like something else, first."

3. have a cigar (sam/dean, 5k, rated e)

Dean rubs a hand up his stomach, smearing his own jizz over his belly and undershirt. His amulet's swung around on his neck, laying against the pillow. "Dude, that was sick," he says, but in a way that's weirdly admiring. Sam licks his lips, the remaining afterglow twisting in his belly. Dean lets his heels slip down the bed, his legs splayed around Sam, and he's red-faced still, but maybe that's just because they're both so—out there. Exposed. Even so, Dean touches his knee against Sam's hip, the corner of his mouth turned up. "Seriously. You're like a freight train when you get going, you know that?"

4. Campaign Events (jared/jensen, 8k, rated e)

Takes a minute for him to realize that as he's watching, he's being watched. He blinks, resurfaces, and Jensen's just—there. Right there, fully present inside the car, with his eyes on Jared's in the half-dark. His lips part, like he's going to say something, but he doesn't. The backseat isn't huge; Jared can feel the heat of him, an inch of space between their knees, both of them spreading out. Jensen's hand lifts off his thigh—white flash of it in the dark—and it hangs for a moment that has Jared's lungs frozen before it curls into a fist, and then Jensen lifts it to his own face, drags over his eyes, scrubs his cheek where the stubble's started to grow in, thick with the end of the day. Jared turns his head, stares sightless at the blurred hills, the tree-shapes and fences picked darker out of the dark, presses his fingertips to his mouth. What is he doing.

5. a long hard day, a long hard night (sam/dean, 38k, rated e)

"You know," Sam says, and clears his throat. He slides the beer aside and takes the mug. Sharp boozy smell—this isn't fine spirits. Just as well, not like he'd be able to taste it. He runs his thumb around the lipstick-red pattern on the rim. "I used to think we'd end up doing something normal? I wasn't even thinking about school, or—or marriage, or anything like that. Like somehow we could… step back, a little. Get a house, maybe straight jobs. Still go hunting, when someone needed us. Just, maybe one day we wouldn't have to deal with all the crazy." He shakes his head. Dean's watching him over the rim of his mug, his eyes steady. "Somehow something always comes along."

He takes a swallow. No flavor, of course not, but the heat of it's still sharp, alcohol flowing straight down to his gut. He licks his lips and it stings, just a little, where he's been chewing them.

"Well, we got a house," Dean says. He looks around at the kitchen, bright and familiar, and then slides his eyes back to Sam's. "And I can deal with crazy."

6. incursion (abaddon/dean, 3k, rated e)

The daze of inquisition rings hollow through his soul and he isn't fighting, isn't clawing back, but there's—something. Knowledge, somewhere deep. He thinks she's not going to win. She cocks their head, shuffles back to sit on the bed, the iron springs creaking under his weight, and pushes their fingers back into mess where the tattoo was, digging in harder to the slippery wet between skin and muscle. It makes the body quiver, trying frantically to get away from itself, and she holds it trammeled in place and curves all of it into him and sinks down and sees, now: the frantic pulsing scramble to save Sam, it didn't matter how—and before, grey woods full of fear and the joy of hunting through them, of winning, cleaving through like a knife—and before, Lucifer smiling with Sam's face like every nightmare he's ever had and swallowing, pushing down the revulsion and saying, Sammy—and before, and before, and she sinks down and down and down through this life, searching, spreading him apart on the rack of himself, until she finds it.

7. a stranger (sam/dean, 2k, rated m)

Behind his eyes the woods are grey and dangerous, familiar, and he looks instead at the lush green outside the window. Humid, here. The sun’s bright. The truck’s cab is cool with the steady hiss of A/C, not the constant absence of any kind of real life. It’s eleven hours to where Benny said his bones are planted, assuming Dean can catch a ride relatively soon once he escapes from Donald. Assuming he doesn’t have to mug anyone, or hustle someone. He doesn’t know if he can, if it comes to it. He feels like he might bite a guy’s dick off, cut his throat, before he’d earn a ride, and then what.

8. to make the sun stand still (sam/dean, s/d/benny, 11k, rated e)

That first time. After Purgatory, Sam had programmed his own number into Benny's phone, had handed it back to him in full view of Dean, said call anytime. He owed Benny more than he could say, and he'd carried his soul in his own body, poured him free of Purgatory and brought him to life same as Dean had. Hadn't been too much longer before they got the call, Benny needing help—not blood, not a rescue from another hunter. Just—contact. Someone to talk to. They'd piled into the car and driven out into the deep hills of Kentucky, Sam trying to hide how he kept trembling and trying not to puke in the passenger seat, Dean trying to pretend like he didn't notice, and met him at the lone motel on the outskirts of Hazard. Sam had watched Dean and Benny hug, like the best of friends—but Dean immediately stepped back and put his shoulder right next to Sam's, helping to hold him upright so he could shake Benny's hand without keeling over. Benny's eyes had gone sharp, looking Sam over, and Sam remembers so clearly the concerned look that he shot to Dean—concern for him, for them both. The old useless jealousy slithered away, then. They got a motel, and while Benny was in the shower washing off the dirt of living on the road Sam pulled Dean close and kissed him, hard, hoping Dean couldn't taste the old blood at the back of his tongue—wondering if Benny could smell it—and when he'd released Dean, gasping, he'd said if you want—if you still— and Dean had blinked up at him in shock and denied it, but Sam knew his brother, knew when he was denying himself something to spare Sam feelings. He'd said it won't change anything, will it? and Dean had said no, Sammy, but—and Sam had shrugged, even if he was still uneasy, said, Zeppelin's all you need, but sometimes you want a little Styx too, right? and Dean had stood there with his mouth open, his throat and cheeks flushing dark, and finally he'd said I'm telling Benny you just compared him to Styx, but his hand was tight in Sam's, and that's how Sam knew it was okay.

9. event horizon (mary & her sons, 4k, gen)

She’s sitting at the war table. The map of the world is lit from within. There are so many places, she thinks. Places she’ll never go. John has been to a lot more, but he doesn’t like to talk about that. She doesn’t blame him. She doesn’t like to talk about the stink when a body gets burned, the way it makes her hungry and repulsed at the same time. She doesn’t talk about the way her dad’s mouth tasted. He thinks she’s overreacting whenever they get a rotten egg and she throws up in the sink. For a while, she could blame it on morning sickness.

10. In the Bleak Midwinter (sam&dean, 2k, rated t)

Sam's about to retort, but stops, lips barely parted over a shaky breath. Dean's eyes are glazed, but now they look wet, not just—

"So I'd be dead, I mean, that's okay," Dean continues, tongue still shaping the words slurry and stumbling, but he just keeps going. "And you'd—you'd go on, maybe living in the bunker, with—with Kevin, and Cas could've stayed, wouldn't have made him run away. You guys woulda been fine."

He finally stops, looks down at the bottle of rum. It's a few seconds of quiet, and Sam forces himself to look away, blinks hard at the snowed-out road outside. It's so Dean, so goddamn Dean all over, talking about him dying like it'd be easier, like everyone would be better off if he just weren't—and Sam would be pissed at the same old self-sacrificing bullshit, he'd be giving in to the very real desire he's currently feeling to punch him in his idiot face, but. He's too drunk to be trying manipulation. This is honesty. He closes his eyes and flashes right back to that warm hallway, that ridiculous house, Dean wanting him old and bald, smiling a little when he talks about a picture without him in it.

and just for fun bc this is a tumblr game without scorekeepers, going to do a #11 bc I've got 11 pages of fics and this is the first one I ever posted on AO3:

11. Indeterminacy (thor/loki, loki/various, 8k, rated m)

After the explosion comes a hail of tiny frozen shards, which when examined are revealed to be fragments of smooth, gray stone. The empty plinth at the top of the tower stands empty and though the Allfather turns his face away Thor waits atop it for a long, long time, because it was in this place that his brother never was, where Thor never looked in through the window, where he never saw his brother’s face bleed of all color until he was white and black and a faint rime of frost, and though Thor wanted to he never tried to get in, because he was assured that only a crack in the universe itself would break Loki from this prison. At last, one evening as he stands on the plinth it begins to snow, and he turns away, because if he knows anything about his little brother it is that a minor thing like altering the structure of the cosmos could never stop him.

Well that was kinda fun. Now I should tag people, so I'm tagging people, and in the way this was a blast from the past let's do that with the tagging too, why not -- @hellhoundsprey, @silver9mm, @themegalosaurus, @winchestersinthedrift, @whiskeycherrypie, @alulaspeaks, @stillwaterseas, @wetsammywinchester, @lizblogging