#i have had two surgeries as an adult. why is this so hard

[nice-deep-breaths]

trying to make POV art. trying to figure out what angle to draw an anesthesia mask would be at. everybody puts it over the camera in movies and shit. that isn’t how it looks in real life.

[reasonsforhope]

Hey adults: Why do you like being an adult? What do you like about your life?

A couple weeks ago I told the kids at my work that "Being an adult is pretty nice, actually," and they looked shocked, laughed incredulously, and told me I was the first person they'd ever heard say that

So clearly we adults need to talk about this way more often

The past few years have been hard for a lot of people, me included. Covid sucked. I lost three relatives and three pets in one year. Right after lockdown ended, I got badly injured, and ended up housebound for six months and (much more) disabled for two years, and that sucked too.

And you know what? Literally all of that was easier and better than being a teenager.

I like being an adult. I like my life. Even when it's hard, it's mine, and I am building to the best of my ability the a life that I want to live.

I talked about a lot of why being an adult is something worth looking forward to in my last post, so right now I'll simply say this:

I love actually knowing who I am now. I love that I learned and am learning what I want and need. I love that I have independence and autonomy and don't get treated like a kid. I love the fact that I'm the one who gets to decide want I want to do and what I need. I also love that I'm learning to sew. I love that I've had pet rats, and next will have a pet cat. I love that I got top surgery. I love the way I've decorated my room. I love traveling to visit and crash and even just hang out and do work with my friends, when I can. I love that I started reading good news every day, and that I actually have hope for the future, and that I started this blog and have been able to help give so many other people hope, too.

So, here's a call to action for my fellow adults: comment or reply or tag what you like about being an adult. What you love about your life.

Let's give some kids some reasons for hope.

[section-chief-prentiss]

Maternity Leave (part 5/?)

Summary: The BAU meets your newborn.

Pairing: Emily Prentiss/Reader 

Word Count: 1763

TWs: fluff, comfort, newborn life

Ao3

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR

You and Emily agreed to wait to have any visitors until Amelia was a month old. 

You were recovering from surgery, and the birth in general, and you and Emily were still adjusting to being new parents. You wanted alone time with your daughter, to keep your world small, before letting anyone else in. 

Neither you nor Emily were particularly close with your biological families, so that hadn’t posed an issue. The main source of pressure came from Emily’s actual family—the BAU. 

To no one’s surprise, Penelope led the charge. When Emily hard-launched the announcement of your daughter’s arrival, by sending a picture of Amelia in the BAU group chat, both of your phones exploded with calls from the team.

You’d FaceTimed with your found family—a family you’d been brought into once you’d met Emily. Even though you didn’t work at the FBI with the rest of them, you’d become an honorary member and were quickly indoctrinated into ladies’ nights with JJ, Emily, and Penelope. 

During the call, Hotch, Rossi, JJ, Morgan, Penelope, and Spencer fought to look at Penelope’s phone as Emily fixed the camera on you, holding your daughter.

“Congratulations!” Spencer said.

“SHE’S ADORABLE,” Penelope cooed.

“She is perfect,” JJ agreed.

“How are you two feeling?” Hotch asked.

You’d both agreed you were exhausted but had never been happier. Penelope immediately asked when they could meet her, and you watched the team’s faces fall when Emily told them it would be a few weeks.

JJ, as the other mother in the group, was the most understanding, and eventually, the others followed her lead.

When Emily ended the call, you deflated. “Are we being too harsh? Should we just invite them over?”

Emily frowned. “This is our family, and if we want to wait to have visitors, then we’ll wait. They will understand.”

“But Penelope—” you protested.

Emily held up a hand. “Let me deal with Penelope.”

You sighed but ultimately agreed.

Just after Amelia turned one month old, when you’d officially been home with her for a full month, you woke up to a text from Penelope.

Up for some visitors tonight? She’d asked with about a dozen emojis.

You giggled and handed the phone to Emily, who squinted to read the message.

Emily set the phone on the nightstand and rolled over to wrap her arms around you, and you sunk into her embrace.

“What do you think, love?” She whispered in your ear. “If you want more time, say the word, and I’ll handle it.”

Surprising even yourself, you were shaking your head before she was done speaking. You’d realized a few days prior that you missed your friends, and you yearned for adult conversations with someone other than your wife. 

“I would like to see them,” you said. 

Emily kissed your cheek. “I’ll invite them for dinner tonight.”

You melted against your wife, sleep threatening to claim you, when a wail erupted from the bassinet across the room.

“It’s okay,” Emily said, pulling away. “You go back to sleep.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. Before she could pick up your daughter and leave the room, you were gone.

***

At exactly 5 PM, the doorbell rang.

Normally, you preferred a late dinner, but with the team wanting to meet Amelia before she went to bed, you had to push things forward a few hours before she got too tired. 

“Why do I feel nervous?” You rubbed your hands on your apron, which covered a floral sundress. You were battling some insecurities about your body, but the dress was comfortable and flattering, and for the first time in a while, you felt confident. 

Emily was wearing a white button-down and black slacks with red lipstick that was driving you wild. 

But you needed to focus.

Emily squeezed your hand. “We’ve been so isolated; it’s normal to feel a little anxious. But it’ll be great, you’ll see. And if it’s not, I’ll kick them out.”

The doorbell rang again, and Emily swore. “I’ll let them in; you take a moment.”

You did just that, finishing setting the dining room table as a chorus of voices echoed into your living room. Your heart rate accelerated, but you took a moment to pause, take a few deep breaths, and finish putting the table together before hanging your apron in the kitchen and joining the rest of the party.

“There she is!” Rossi cheered.

“How are you feeling, mama?” Morgan asked, wrapping an arm around you. 

You blushed. “I can honestly say I’m doing great.”

“There’s nothing like it, is there?” JJ asked, wrapping her arms around you next.

“She’s incredible,” you agreed. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Penelope gushed. “I come bearing presents!” 

Sure enough, she held up a large, light pink gift bag that you suspected was filled to the brim. 

“I brought wine,” Rossi offered.

“And I have sparkling grape juice,” JJ said.

You winked at her. “Thank you.”

“I have to say,” Hotch stepped forward. “For this being a house with a newborn, you’d never know it. When Haley and I had Jack, our place was a disaster for… well, it still is.”

You giggled. “If left to my own devices, believe me, it would be. But this one,” you pointed to your wife, who was taking the drinks to the table. “Has been my hero with staying on top of housework.” 

“Really, Emily?” Morgan teased. “You? Cleaning?”

“Shut up, Derek,” Emily said, rolling her eyes, but there was a grin on her face that undermined the action.

“Have a seat,” you said, gesturing to the sectional. “I’ll go get the guest of honor.”

The room exploded into excited chatter as you slipped into your bedroom to gather Amelia from her bassinet. 

“Fair warning, Amelia: They’re loud,” you whispered. “But they’re the best people I know.” 

You kissed her forehead and smoothed out the floral onesie you’d dressed her in, which almost matched the dress you had on, before heading back out to meet your friends.

A hush fell over the room when you walked in, and all eyes were on you. You flushed from the attention and directed yours to the cooing baby in your arms. 

“This,” you said, shifting her in your arms so everyone could catch a glimpse. “Is Amelia.” 

You expected everyone to rush toward you to get a better look, but to your surprise, they remained seated. You glanced over to your wife, who was grinning, and knew she was behind their good behavior.

You walked her to each of your friends, introducing them individually. The last person in line was Penelope, who was practically bouncing in her seat.

You grinned at your friend. “Would you like to hold her?”

It was like you told her Christmas came early—her face lit up. “Are you sure?”

You nodded and gently handed her over to your friend. Though you knew Penelope was seasoned with babies at this point, you still felt nervous having her in the arms of someone who wasn’t yourself or Emily. 

“She’s so small,” Penelope whispered.

“You know, by the time babies are one month old, they can see and focus on objects that are less than a foot away and sleep 14 to 17 hours per 24-hour period,” Spencer recited.

“She does love to sleep,” you agreed.

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Hotch teased.

You groaned. “Oh, we are.”

Each team member took turns holding Amelia, who was starting to get fussy by the time she reached Emily.

“Babe, she’s hungry,” Emily said, rocking her gently.

“I’ll feed her; dinner should be almost ready, if you could check on it?”

Emily nodded, handing your daughter back to you. You made your way back into your bedroom, closing the door behind you, to feed your baby in peace. 

A few minutes later, Emily crept in and made her way to where you sat, in the rocking chair in the corner. 

“Dinner’s ready, but everyone’s willing to wait,” your wife said. “No one’s in a hurry.”

“No, they should eat while it’s hot. I don’t want the pressure of everyone waiting for me; I should be able to join you all in 20 or so.” 

“Are you sure, love?” 

You nodded. “I love them, but I think Amelia and I both need a moment alone anyway. Go, talk to our friends; I’ll join you in a bit.”

Emily brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most,” she said, heading back toward the door.

“I love you even m—”

“Can’t hear you! Already gone!” She called, rushing out of the room and closing the door behind her.

“Your momma’s a competitive woman,” you told your daughter with a giggle. 

When Amelia was fed and burped, she could barely keep her eyes open. You kept rocking her, singing softly, until she was sleeping soundly. Carefully, you walked her to her bassinet, grabbed the baby monitor from the nightstand, and slipped back out of the room to rejoin your friends.

On the other side of the door, the dining room was bustling with laughter.

“I’ve never heard Spencer’s voice so high-pitched,” Derek was saying. “As soon as that elevator stopped moving, it was like it went up a full octave.”

“You weren’t exactly calm in there, either!” Spencer protested.

“This argument again?” you teased, taking the empty seat next to your wife. You kissed the top of her head before you sat, and Emily took your hand once you were settled. 

“Every time,” JJ said, polishing off her glass of wine.

“How’s the baby?” Emily asked.

“Sleeping,” you shrugged. “Sorry her appearance was so limited,” you said to the rest of the room.

“Oh, please,” Rossi said, waving his hand.

“We were excited to meet her, but it’s you both we really wanted to see,” Penelope said.

You raised an eyebrow at your friend. That wasn’t what you expected to hear.

“She’s right,” Spencer said. “We’ve missed you guys. Everything’s changing so fast.”

You softened at that. “It won’t be like this forever. Hotch and JJ figured it out, and we will too. And you guys are welcome to come over anytime.”

“As long as you call first,” Emily jumped in. “So you don’t wake the baby.” 

You smiled. “What she said.” 

“To Amelia,” Rossi said, raising his glass. “The newest member of our family.”

The rest of the table raised their glasses, and you poured some sparkling grape juice into yours before doing the same.

“To Amelia,” the room echoed, clinking glasses.

Tag List:

@yena-reyna, @propertyofemilyprentiss, @chaekhan, @obsessedwjill, @mrs-prentiss, @i-lovefandom, @tireddeadgirl, @lez-talk1, @emilyprentiss-ily

Join my tag list!

[pallysuune]

Summary: The twins were identical in almost all ways. But in the bedroom is where you can always tell them apart. Pairing: Alpharius Omegon/fem reader

Warnings: Smut, rough sex, could make the argument for manipulation. Not yandere, but imprisonment, I guess? Primarchs being primarchs. Uh, twins' bedroom shenanigans and sharing a partner.

A/N: Don't judge me. XD

The twins were identical. Even more so than those of the Alpha Legion who had undergone surgery to change their faces and look more like their primarchs. It was said that they were one soul split into two bodies, and you could actually believe that. They even acted perfectly alike, seemingly without any practice or trying to. They could communicate with just a glance. They made themselves interchangeable.

The Alpha Legion in general did everything possible to obfuscate all information that they could.

Which made the fact that they took you on as a rememberancer more than a little strange. Yes, you knew the Emperor was encouraging all of his sons to take ones with them, but the ease with which Alpharius agreed should have raised alarms. Now, you knew that he had agreed so easily because he had no intention of ever letting you go.

He took you on, and he let you learn things no one else could ever know.

Which, if you were honest, kind of endeared him to you. He - and his twin - were both charming, and seemingly opened themselves up to you and you alone. Perhaps they had some plan in telling you, or perhaps they simply wanted someone to know the truth of things, even if it could never be public. You doubted you'd ever know the truth. All the same, you found yourself drawn in by them and, before you knew it, you were far more than just a rememberancer to them.

You had heard from their own lips their histories, their upbringings, and it was knowing these that helped you come to recognize them better.

You see, Omegon had told you that he had grown up on an uninhabited planet and only encountered other people when he was already an adult, where as Alpharius grew up around, but unseen by, the courts on Terra. Why was this important? Because Omegon fucked you like a beast.

You were pressed face down into the massive bed, your forearms bracing you just enough to keep your face from being smothered by the sheets. His hands circled your waist, holding your hips angled perfectly for him to pound into you, filling you to the limit again and again. He was hunched over you, his huge frame shadowing you, the heat from his body almost suffocating in a way that made your head spin. He was intoxicating. Omegon peppered nips over your shoulders, teeth dragging over your skin. He bit down a little harder on the back of your neck, giving a nearly inaudible groan against your skin.

It was hard to think of anything other than him. Everything was heat and sweat and that pleasure-pain of being so very, very full.

He pulled out of you with a suddenness that left your head spinning. A soft gasp tore from your lips. A second later, the searing heat of his release painted your back in thick ropes of cum. He groaned again, deeply. Deep enough you thought you could feel it in your bones, but that may have been your imagination.

One thing that wasn't your imagination, though, was the throbbing need that still pulsed through you. You were so close to cumming, and he had so cruelly pulled away.

There was a soft chuckle from the side, and you felt the bed move at your side before there were hands on you once more. A cloth was dragged halfheartedly over your back to clean you up before those hands settled at your waist, drawing you up. "I keep telling you to be more considerate of her," Alpharius admonished, tutting. His voice was laced with amusement.

It was a game for them. Leaning into Omegon's desires and turning it into a play with their bed as the stage. You knew that, but there was still something about it that you enjoyed.

You were lifted up into Alpharius' lap, your legs stretched on either side of his, his hard cock sliding against your wet sex. But he didn't push into you. Instead, he curled an arm around your waist to hold you there while his other hand slid down, fingers tracing your slit lightly. Dazed, you lean back against him, your head tipped back against his shoulder. Omegon sat in front of the two of you, naked and smirking, very clearly enjoying the sight before him.

"And how would you be considerate, then?" he asked, his voice deep and husky still, with a little more of a growl to it than normal.

A thick, slick finger brushed oh-so-softly over your clit. Even that light of a touch pulled a gasp roughly from your lips and caused your hips to buck, grinding unintentionally against the hard cock still resting against your sex. Alpharius chuckled again.

"Watch closely and I'll show you."

You realized you were in for a long night.

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 8

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: For week 5 of my pride event: Struggles. Joel, Sarah, Blue, and

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

She was wearing the dress you bought her. They both were. 

Joel watched from the kitchen as Sarah and Ellie had their little tea party in the cute matching dresses you had bought them. Ellie was over for a playdate, a tea party to be exact. For Sarah’s birthday, which Joel spent much of the time wishing you were there and Sarah mentioned multiple times she missed you as well, Tommy had handmade her a table and chair set.

Since Joel kicked him out, things had been… shitty. Joel missed him a lot, even though they still saw each other almost every day at work. It was the off season so hours were reduced, but Bill and Frank never left the four of them hanging, and made sure they had some contacts for extra hours at other farms or under the table work to make up their hours. Tommy had been riding with Tess now, and it seems in his spare time Joel wasn’t privy to had been making the set in Bill's garage. Sarah was ecstatic and first thing was asking if she could have Ellie over for a tea party the next weekend. Joel confirmed with Ellie’s very uninterested foster mom, saying he could pick up and drop off when she didn’t seem enthused about bringing her over two weeks in a row. Ellie was Sarah’s best friend, and since you were gone Sarah seemed down, so Joel was going out of his way to cheer his little girl up. She deserved it. She deserves everything. She deserved to have you in her life, Joel didn’t.

The night Joel came home to Tommy doing heroin was one of the worst nights of his life. He was so scared for her, scared she’d accidentally stuck herself with the needle or wandered off into the street to get hit or kidnapped or worse…if something happened to Sarah, his life would be over. There’d be no point anymore. He put her to bed the second time, comin downstairs to an empty living room but knowing you’d be coming in soon. He was scared, embarrassed that Talia had seen all that, and worried what Sarah saw and heard. Worried how he’d explain Tommy being gone… If he’d just gone to rehab it’d be easier, but he still refused. Instead, he lived with Tess and came over sometimes because of course he did, they were still brothers… it was hard to explain why Tommy didn’t live here anymore. And it was going to be hard to explain why you were gone.

“This isn’t gonna work.”

You blinked at him, mouth agap. “Joel… come on don’t do this.”

“You don’t wanna be with me like this.” Joel shook his head.

“Baby, no…” You try to approach him, raising your arms to hold him but he held out a hand. He was still surprise that you stopped. Kayla never respected his boundaries like that. “You think I care about this? I mean- fuck I mean I care, you know I care about Sarah and Tommy but I mean… I don’t view you differently. It makes me sad Tommy is hurting like this but I don’t view him different… Joel I wanna help-”

He cut you off. “You can’t.” Joel’s face was hardened, his soft eyes looking lost. “This isn’t a good time and… I can’t have distractions.”

Joel’s heart breaks when he see’s your lower lips quiver. “Am I a distraction to you?”

He wanted to say no. He wanted to say you were everything, you completed him, you were apart of his little found family and he loved you so, so much… but he couldn’t. Sarah was left alone for anything to happen because Joel was with you. It wasn’t your fault. It was his.

“Yes.”

Joel was sure Ellie wouldn’t like the dress, but she was wearing it. Maybe she just didn’t get nice things as a foster child. Joel thought that was a shame. Ellie was a good kid, nice if a little rough sometimes but never malicious. Her and Sarah were playinging some game with sticks as Joel sat on the deck drinking coffee with Tommy. He watched as she got a little over zealous and THWACK, a stick across Sarah’s face. It looked worse than it was, and sure probably hurt bad, but nothing but a few cuts on her face. Joel ran down the deck to hold a screaming Sarah, not noticing Ellie disappearing when his back turned. Tommy did.

As Sarah calmed down, Tommy appeared holding Ellie’s hand. Ellie tried to run out the gate but it was locked, she just managed to take get it undone, smart kid she was, when Tommy scooped her up.

As Sarah’s sobs turned into sniffles, Joel turned to see Ellie frozen, eyes wide and body shaking.

“Hey now…” Joel said softly. “It’s alright Ellie, it was an accident. See? She ’salright.” Joel motioned to Sarah who was wiping her eyes.

“Joel.” Tommy mumbles. “I don’t think that’s what she’s worried about…”

Oh. She was scared of him. “You’re okay, Ellie. I ain’t mad, game just got a little wild, that’s all. Right Sarah? You’re okay aren’t you?”

Sarah whipped her tears, standing up. “Yeah I’m okay!” Although her voice still wobbled and her face was still wet. “Daddy can we have a snack?”

“Yeah, of course babygirl. I’ll bring your chairs and table out so you can eat out here, sound good?”

Joel and Tommy’s eyes connected. The pieces were there to conclude what they thought, but the evidence was all circumstantial. 

As Sarah and Ellie ate their snack, he noticed how quickly Ellie ate her food, asking for more. Joel decided to ask her foster mom is she could stay for dinner. He heard them talking as they ate.

“Where did you get these dresses? Did you buy them?” Ellie asked her.

“Uh-uh. Daddy’s girlfriend Blue bought them!”

“Where is she?”

Joel watched as Ellie glanced down at her food. “They broke up.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“I miss her. My mommy is gone too.”

“Did she die?”

“No, she and my daddy broke up too.”

“Your dad breaks up a lot. He shouldn’t be so picky, he’s too old.”

Joel couldn't help smile at that. Ellie didn’t have a filter. It wasn’t that he being picky; it wasn’t about you. You were perfect. Joel pictured himself marrying you, having a life with you. You were perfect. He was wrong. Everything about Joel’s life was chaos and it wasn’t fair to you or Sarah or Tommy to split his attention even more. And now, it seemed, he was taking on a lot of responsibility for Ellie too. It was just too much. 

Joel turned on the TV while he cooked dinner, Ellie and Sarah playing upstairs.

“Grunge pioneer and Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain found dead in his apartment today, thought to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound.”

Joel dropped the spoon into his spagetti sauce. “Shit.” He murmured, trying to fish it out with a spatula. Nirvana was your favorite, you idolized Kurt Cobain. He knew more about the beef between him and Guns “N Roses or Nirvana and Pearl Jam than he ever thought he would; he didn’t even know who Nirvana or Pearl Jam were before you, honestly.  He loved hearing your passion, even if it was all so new to him, an he loved when you showed him new songs, but nothing got your mouth going like Nirvana did; the absolute excited way you talked about their music made your eyes light up and you’d bounce in your seat, joyful and enthusiastic, a love for life Joel admired. 

He loved how someone who’d been through so much could be so… happy. It gave him hope. From life as a depressed, addicted “gay man” couch surfing and sometimes homeless, to a school teacher, happy and loving and stable as a woman. Before you, he only vaguely knew what being trans was. No one really talked about it except occasionally some article or an episode of TV. Joel didn’t think much about it, but he knew what others thought. Many said it was a sin, or unnatural, or that it was body mutilation… Some said things like they would regret it, that it was a mental illness… Joel didn’t know much about mental illness, if he was being honest. He knew it was considered a mental illness by the big book psychiatrists use… but he always knew until the 70’s being gay was considered one too, and Joel didn’t think Tess, Bill and Frank were mentally ill. Well, Bill was a conspiracy theorist and a little cooky at times, but his head was on straight. Joel didn’t really care what anyone said. You were living and looking the way you wanted to  save your life, and Joel was glad you were alive, even if you weren't a part of his world.

After serving up his girls, a heaping serving for Ellie to make up for what she’s not getting at ‘home’, Joel leaned against the counter, spooning the left over right into his mouth. One less dish to clean. He liked Ellie, he thought as he ate, even if she was a bit of a pain in the ass. She was spirited in a way Sarah wasn’t, but a good kid. She also liked baseball, and would watch with him sometimes before Sarah dragged her away.

He heard the doorbell, and Sarah ran up shouting “I’ll get it!!!” and as Joel walked over to the door still chewing a big mouthful of spaghetti, she informed him it was Aunt Tess.

“Hey Tess,” Joel swallowed his food, “Sorry, I can’t have anyone other than Tommy over, Ellie’s over for a playdate.”

Tess didn’t look like herself, sollem and worried face mareing her expressions. “Joel… something happened with Blue…”

His heart dropped. “Is it the Kurt Cobain thing? Is she okay? I know thats probably really upset-” 

She cut him off, hand raised but not rudely. “No, Joel I- jesus… Tommy say anything to you?”

Joel furrowed his brow. What did he do now? “No… he get into trouble again?”

“No… he was pretty out of it the other night but… him and me with with Max. Joel, I swear, he said he dumped Kayla.”

Taking a deep breath, Joel cringed at her name. “Y’all can do whatever you want, it’s none of my business.” But it still hurt, just a little, even if it was irrational. 

Tess scrubbed her face. “Joel, it’s bad, it’s so bad. Tommy got drunk, and he started talk’n, and you know how he gets… well Max was talkn ‘bout Kayla and her beef with Blue and I swear, no one was talk’n bad about her, Tommy was say’n how much he likes her, and I don’t even know how it came out but Tommy mentioned her being trans-”

“Shit- To Max? Tess, you know how he is!” Joel turned into the house, bellowing. “TOMMY!”

“I know! I know, okay but listen…” She shifted her feet. “I guess he wasn’t done with Kayla…” Tess’s face looked wracked with guilt, biting her lip and struggling to get out the story.

It was bad.

*

Joel dropped Ellie off with her foster mom, sending her with some fruit snacks. Not trusting Tommy with Sarah alone yet, Joel left her with Tommy and Tess; Talia answered Blue’s door.

“Joel.” She sighed, leaning against the doorframe. “This isn’t a good time. You know I love yuh, but she don’t need this right now.”

Joel shuffled, placing his hands in his pockets. “I’m- fuck, I’m sorry I just… I wanted to check on ‘er…” 

Talia’s face softens, her body language relaxing. “I know… and I’m sorry. Maybe come by in a few days, I’ll let her know you stopped by, but she said she didn’t wanna see anyone-”

“Talia? Is that Joel?”

Signing at the voice of her best friend, she turned around. “Yeah babe, I told him to come by in a day or two.”

The sound of you sitting up made his heart leap. The idea of seeing you after months was exciting and nerve racking. 

Acquiescing, Talia opened the door to your apartment where Joel saw you. You were still in your PJ’s, hair a mess, your eyes bloodshot and puffy. You were still the prettiest woman he’d ever seen in his life.

“Hey.” Nirvana played in the background. Something in the Way.

“Hey…” You lip quivers, and Joel runs over to you with no hesitation, scooping you into his strong, farm-worked arms and keeping you close to him as you cried. Your body wracks in heaves and sobs, and Joel knew something was very wrong, his heart aching for you, hoping so badly you were going to be okay. He never wanted to stop hugging you. When you’re crying slowed, Joel still held your body. Talia offered to go get some food, trusting Joel to watch you while she was gone and giving you both time to talk. When you finally lifted your head off his soft flannel, Joel guided you to sit on the couch.

“I’ve missed you so much…” You sniffled, not looking at him. “As soon as I heard about Kurt Cobain, I just wanted to call you…”

“You could’ve…” He reassured you. “I know how much he meant to you… I don’t want you to have to go through things alone, Blue…”

You shake your head. “I don’t. I got Talia, I always got Talia… and Tess and Tommy…” 

Joel didn’t know Tommy was hanging out with you. “I know… I just…” He sighs. “I still wanna be there for you, you know? And with what happened…”

You groan, flopping back on the couch dramatically. “I can’t fucking beleive it. Years, i was here for years completely fine! Then this shit happens!”

“I’m sorry-”

“Joel, don’t-”

“But I am! I’m sorry, this is because of me.”

“No, this is because Kayla is a bitch. Sorry Joel, I know you don’t like us talk’n bad about her but she is!”

His voice was soft and gentle. “I think you earned the right to call her that, Blue.”

He hears you huff a sardonic laugh. “So have you.” You scrub your face. “Three years with this school, not so much as a talking to, no bad performance reviews… Not even a parent complaint.” You pop your head up. “Parents will complain about everything! But not me!” Back down. “All down the drain.”

Apparently, Max wasn’t done with Kayla. This didn’t surprise Joel; Kayla wanted Max to get to him, and Max was stupid. Of course he was still cheating with her. Kayla was, obviously, beautiful. That’s just a fact. After finding out Blue was trans, he scampered off to Kayla like a little rat and told her. Kayla, in turn, outted Blue to the entire school.

“Can’t you sue for wrongful termination? I mean, they can’t fire you for being trans.”

“Nope” You popped the P. “But they fired me on grounds of poor work performance which is bullshit. Texas is a will to work state, which means they can basically fire me for anything except being a protected class, so they just make something up. Texs has ass workers rights, I don’t got a leg to stand on.” He watched as your eyes welled up with tears. “Parents who always said their children adored me complained I was a predator and was grooming their children… One called me a satanist, which is wild.”

Joel chuckled a little at that, but only because you had a smile at the corner of your mouth. “I’m sorry this is happening, Blue… you’re a great teacher and they are fucking missing out.”

“I know, thank you. Being good right won’t pay my bills, though.” You’d be moving in with Tess, Talia, and Tommy, making for a full house. Joel wanted to bring Tommy home, he really fucking did… Tess and Talia woud have a full house once Blue was there, Sarah missed him… and fuck, Joel missed him. A lot. But Tommy refused to get help, and although he said he was clean, he’d said it before. He couldn’t risk Sarah’s safety like that. Honestly, he wasn’t sure Tommy even wanted to come back with the way Joel had talked to him sometimes. 

You rested your feet on his blue jeans. “I’m glad you’re here, cowboy.”

Joel just can't stay away.

Two chapters left! One more seeing how things come back together for Joel, Blue, Sarah, Ellie, Tess and Talia

then, the finally where everyone is happy for the finale of pride event!!!!

I went to pride today (before and after being The Bikeriders AGAIN)

Before, I cried a little a free mom hugs

then i cried at The Bikerriders

then!! After bikeriders I went back to check out everything fully with more time and ended up breaking down sobbing at the free mom/dad hugs tent. It was so much a lady from anothr tent hugged me too ;-;

i love my mom but she'd never fully accept me.

Anyway, love y'all!!!! You are loved just the way you are! You are sacred!

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[lily-alphonse]

OKAY ONE MORE RAREPAIR FROM ME but I feel like I had to send you Gus+Elliott / Gulliott /CookBook :>

COOKBOOK OUR BELOVED

THANK YOU I'M DYING TO INFODUMP ABOUT THIS ONE

I would write an entire longfic for these two if I had the time. I have such messy ideas. CW mention of eating disorder, religious trauma, trans issues (Elliott has had a hard life ok thats why we're giving him happiness)

OK SO

Elliott Backstory (aka all of my insane Elliott headcanons)

Elliott is trans FTM, originally named 'Emma' in a religious family so past is MESSY and traumatic ✨

Begged to go to bible college and was given money for it and just disappeared, using the money to make it to the city (and maybe also top surgery, either way he's had top surgery by the time he makes it to Pelican Town)

Slowly established a new life in the city doing whatever work he could and living as a man now

Always hated the city though and wanted something more rustic to chase his dreams of being a writer

Finally took the plunge when he turned 30 and had a bit of a crisis about it, basically like yeah it's great to be myself now but am I really, when I am crushed by the monotony of the city?

Like he was working so much to try to afford his shitty apartment and testosterone he didn't even have any friends

Also he's anorexic did I mention that lol he does not have a healthy relationship with food. Hates having to stop working to eat, hates cooking, has body dysmorphia for multiple reasons alright

Gus Backstory Using the same backstory from the Gus/Willy rarepair post, he grew up in the city. Part of the down-low queer scene, he had a few boyfriends. A couple of them felt like they could have been true love until reality hit, and there was nothing true about it. He found love in his passions instead, in cooking and found family in a place where life moved slower. Let's make him older like 40s (teehee age gap my beloved STOP I know I'm making it messier deal with it they're both fully adults whatever! I actually headcanon him being in his early 50s so this is already a compromise)

It takes some time for them to properly meet, because Elliott's ID still has his deadname. (He hasn't had the money to do all the legal work to change it and/or he just legally can't change it without a full sex change. But either way his ID still shows him as being a woman.) He could hope that the saloon owner is cool and won't require ID, it is a small town after all. The anxiety over it is enough to keep him away from the saloon for several months after moving there though. He keeps to himself until he can't, because he's started making friends and they wonder why he won't join them for a drink at the saloon.

He makes an excuse that he doesn't really like to drink even though he most definitely does, but Willy argues that he can always just come for the food. Gus is a great cook after all. The thought of food not from the gas station, that he doesn't have to cook himself, is appealing.

In a realization of his worst nightmare, Gus does need to see his ID. Elliott tries to make an excuse but it starts to get awkward. He swallows his fear and gives it to him with a slight tremor in his hand. There's a clear moment of hesitation on Gus' part where he stares at it, but then it's as if nothing happened, the smile back on his face and he hands the ID back to him facedown.

Elliott wants to cry. From relief, from terror, he doesn't know. All of it. The last thing he wants is to be outed in this place that had started to feel like home for once. He gets super wasted to try to deal with it, and stays in his cabin for days waiting for the fallout. The gossip. The world to come crashing down on him. But it doesn't.

Actually the only thing that comes is a knock at the door a few days later. To Elliott's embarrassment, it's Gus. He brushes his hair in a hurry and plasters a smile on his face to answer the door.

Gus seems a little shy, which isn't like him. Gus is bubbly and talkative, usually. But maybe he's just hot from the walk. And the takeout bag in his hands.

"Hello Gus."

"Hi Elliott, um, I hope this isn't a bad time..."

"No, how can I help you?" Elliott leans against the doorway in what he hopes is a casual, unaffected manner. Gus steals furtive glances at Elliott's neck, his hands.

He definitely glanced. Why would he glance?

Gus is gay. Oh my Yoba Gus is gay.

"I was hoping to catch you in the saloon but I haven't seen you since the other night and uh.. I just want to let you know you're safe with me -- here, I mean, you're safe, here. You have friends here."

Elliott is overcome with a myriad of emotions and for once, most of them good. But he is incredibly torn on whether to pull at this thread that has Gus stuttering. It has been a long time since he's had someone so cute in his clutches. But he packs that away for now, letting the relief through instead.

"Thank you. That means a lot, actually... would you like to come in?"

AND THEN they fall in love and its a little messy because they both have their own hangups to overcome but they are so good together because Elliott has a facade up with the rest of the world and wants everyone to like him but goes about it the wrong way, and Gus wears his heart on his sleeve and everyone does love him but he also struggles with setting boundaries and self-love. And they'd have some fights about food but Gus would come to understand his limits and work with him and show him cooking can be fun and everything, GUYS IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM IM SO NORMAL (not hyperventilating at all, very casual)

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[hallowpen]

Last Twilight has me conflicted...

I've had some time to sit with the ending for a while and I just cannot find myself definitively deciding whether or not I'm okay with it. And I think the reason for that is because there are valid opinions for both sides of the argument.

From a narrative standpoint, Last Twilight should have been given the room to fully flesh out its story. After episode 10, things began to feel a little rushed and overlooked. This tends to happen too often in Thai QL dramas, that are limited by their amount of episodes, when the meat of their stories are left toward the end of the series.

This is all meant to say that Last Twilight could have benefited from some breathing room: (I'm only touching on three story points because these seem to be the biggest cause for contention among watchers...and I don't want this post to ramble on forever)

The Breakup - I remain firmly in the camp that the breakup was inevitable and not 'unnecessary'. Had it been executed properly and given the deeper conversation it warranted between the two involved characters, it would have absolutely landed a lot better. Mhok and Day are incredibly young and both are still on their journey to find/accept themselves. When your self discovery becomes intertwined in someone else's, stuff can become misconstrued and messy. Mhok and Day each had to stand on their own two feet and realize that they did not need to have the other in their life in order to do so. It was important for the characters to SAY that they did not want to be an anchor in each other's lives. (I personally don't think a solution as simple as 'long distance relationship' would have worked here. LDR's are hard work and it would have detracted from the focus they needed to have on themselves as individuals). After time apart, they could always come back together and re-evaluate. (Blocking someone's number and completely writing them out of your life after one bump in the road may not have been the way to go about this either). In a healthy adult relationship, Mhok and Day would TALK about what each of them want out of a reconciliation and take culpability for what went wrong in the past. IT'S NOT ALL JUST ON MHOK...

Mhok - Which brings me to my next point... I've come to the conclusion that I have to accept Last Twilight as Day's story and Day's point of view. Mhok was, unfortunately, left by the wayside. There was so much to unpack there and the writers really could have delved deeper into Mhok's background and trauma...but they chose not to. Mhok's characterization felt as if it were an untapped well with incredible narrative potential. The added bonus of seeing Jimmy truly bringing this character to full realization would have been glorious, but alas... I digress. Mhok's journey exists only in the land of time jumps.

Day's Vision - The ending is what I struggle the most to find peace with. I think I remain somewhere in the middle where I can see the series working in either direction had the narrative been aligned properly. Whether or not Day's vision was restored does not take away from his journey, yet it still feels like its 'message' got lost in the crossfire. Without getting too personal, how the ending was presented just felt so ableist. There were uses of the word "normal" that I did not like and it felt like a scramble to wrap everything up in a nice, neat, little bow. I think there needed to be a deeper conversation woven within the story as to why Day chose to have the surgery and how, while that choice was available to and worked for him, it is not a universally shared experience/reality amongst the disabled community. Maybe I just selfishly expect too much from these kinds of series, I don't know.

All in all, time skips can be a useful tool... but what happens in the in between is sometimes too important to overlook, especially in a show that is so character driven. I will end this by saying that JimmySea absolutely acted their butts off, and as someone who had never seen them act together before, I consider myself to be a newly instated fan. I look forward to whatever other projects they should have together.

[comma-souptra]

Last summer I studied abroad and shared a house with (among many people) a trans masc guy who had top surgery. I was very freshly on T and just starting to explore how much transition I really wanted to undergo while still being very scared of Change and how much of it transitioning would bring me. I felt like I had to be absolutely sure I wanted any of the elements of transition I chose to undergo because so much of my (US) medical system around trans health care does not leave room for you to be uncertain, you often have to fight desperately to be taken seriously in your transition.

I was on a walk with this guy and some friends, and we were talking about tattoos we wanted. I mentioned a sternum tattoo idea I had, and he asked me flat out “do you want top surgery?”. I said “oh my god, who knows, why would you ask me that?” in all my transgender panic and fear, and he just kind of laughed and said “I was only gonna say, they worked around my sternum tattoo when I got mine. So you should be fine if you get that one.”

I asked him “how did you know you wanted top surgery?” as we walked together. To my very deep shock, he said he wasn’t sure, he had just decided to make the necessary appointments and go. If it ever felt wrong or like he wasn’t ready, he would just stop. The obvious caveat here is that we are from two different countries with very different health care systems, but the fact that he had started this (to me) daunting process without complete assuredness and had made it out the other end happier and beautiful was mind altering to me.

Later in our trip, me offered to show me his chest and the results of his surgery. I stood in my room and he stood in the door way, back to the hall as our housemates walked by, and lifted his shirt to me, grinning. I said “you kept your nipples!” and he laughed. It was clear the rest of our house (functionally, all cisgender) were a bit confused by what was going on. I hadn’t necessarily been as vocally and openly trans as him, but it was clearly something transgender.

All this to say, I have an appointment scheduled for my top surgery consultation in November. I’ve upped my T dosage twice over the past year. I’ve been binding since I was twelve and have craved masculinization since puberty, of course I wanted top surgery! I’ve been thinking a lot this pride month about the phrase “don’t die wondering” and how hard it is to follow when you don’t see grown queer people that reflect who you could be. This guy was only four years older than me, but he was living this adult life I hoped to live and doing so in a body he created just by trying out what felt right and seeing if it stuck.

So I’m going to the top surgery consult, and I got on full dose T instead of hiding behind low dose. And I’m changing my name and figuring out what sounds right because I don’t want to die wondering! And it’s my one silly little life in this body as this person, and I’ve seen that it can be done. So thank you to my housemate, and I am very much looking forward to being even more transgender next pride month <3

[bidisasterevankinard]

Little something about Bobby's opinion about Mag and Phi. Or Bobby hate Buckley parents and he is not alone.

1244 words

Bobby Nash always had not the best thoughts about the Buckleys. Firstly he just couldn`t understand how they never came to see Buck after his injuries. He could understand that they did not show up after an emergency tracheostomy, which Buck underwent in the first year. The kid was discharged the next day and two weeks later he was on duty. But still. They didn't even come to make sure he was okay.

But Bobby stopped by every day, just to make sure Buck was okay, could breathe on his own and had no problems with food. (Bobby might have brought a large amount of food that he cooked especially for Buck, but that remained between him, God, and Buck's former roommates.)

But after Buck almost died under a fire truck, went through three surgeries and five months of physiotherapy, then embolism and tsunami , Bobby began to seriously despise them. How could they know that their son almost died and was in such a bad state and not come? And worst of all, Buck wasn't surprised. As if it was normal that his parents left him with injuries, left him to take care of himself alone.

But when Buck told them about Daniel and how he tried to beg for their love, Bobby just hated these people. 

The kid had lived all his life without the love of his parents and so much in his behavior had become so easily explicable. At that moment, his hatred for Buckley was covered by an all-consuming concern for Buck. Bobby could see that Buck was joking so as not to show how much he was hurt. He saw the broken heart in those blue eyes. He saw an adult man in front of him, but he could not escape from the picture of little Buck deliberately looking for adventure and injuries for the sake of a little bit of attention from people who did not deserve to call themselves his parents.

But time passed. The Buckleys get along with their kids recently and now:

“That's why I thought it was silly to have a separate dinner with my parents and a barbecue with you and Athena and our family. So can I invite them to a barbecue?” Buck looks at him with his puppy blue eyes, adjusting the bag falling off his shoulder and clearly worried. Buck also prefers to look at the truck from the glass walls of the locker room and not at Bobby.

Bobby wants to say no, wants to wrap Buck in a blanket and shout at Buckley's faces, "He's mine. You do not deserve him," but Buck deserves it. He for years wanted a normal relationship with his parents. Now they have something good. Bobby would never take that away from the kid.

“Of course, Buck. It's your birthday. You can invite whoever you want. Especially your parents,” Bobby says and sees how Buck becomes less nervous.

“Thank you, Bobby. For everything. You and Athena really didn't have to plan my birthday at your house,” Buck says with a smile and with only a little surprise in his voice that people want to make something like that for him. Buck accepts more love and understands that he is worthy of it every day after his coma. But Bobby still hates the Buckleys for making Buck believe for years that he wasn't enough for this.

“Buck, we wanted to do it. We all are really happy we have the opportunity to celebrate your another birthday. Celebrate your life,” it is still hard to talk about Buck`s death for Bobby. Memories and feelings are too fresh. But Bobby concentrates on the thing that Buck is here, alive, breathing. And he is ready to become one year older.

Buck just sends him a little smile with understanding in his eyes and then hugs him. It surprises Bobby a little bit, but he appreciates the comfort the kid gives him.

“Thanks, pops,” Buck grins slyly and Bobby just shakes his head at the old nickname. He hasn't heard it in a while. “I`ll see you tomorrow,” Buck leaves the locker room.

Bobby sighs and heads to his car. He needs to prepare the meat for the barbecue. 

***

The party is great. Bobby laughs with his family and toasts non-alcoholic cocktails to the birthday boy. It's a lovely evening surrounded by his family, which he found over the years. But the constant presence of Margaret and Philip seriously tests him. They're not bad people. But some of the stories they told about Buck and their reaction to it only reminds Bobby why he hates them.

So he goes to check a new portion of meat and lets himself exhale.

“God, I hate them so much,” Bobby says very quietly, but he hears someone choking on a drink behind his back. He quickly turns around and sees Eddie wiping his mouth with a hand in which there is no beer bottle.

“Please tell me you`re talking about Mag and Phi,” Eddie says with hope and interest. “Because I`m so tired of them. And I hate them from the moment Buck firstly told me a story about his childhood. I need someone to support me here.” 

Bobby nods, “I hate them from the moment I found out about Daniel. But I never thought anything good about them. Buck deserves better.”

“He does,” Eddie turns his head to the side where Buck is entertaining the children. Jee is in his arms, and Danny and Chris are running around him. Bobby notices how a gentle smile appears on Eddie's face, and his eyes soften. Someday Eddie will understand what this means. And Buck will see this facial expression directly. Bobby just hopes it happens soon.

“Still can't understand how they can be his parents. Mag, Phi, Maddie and Buck sharing DNA it's unbelievable,” Eddie shakes his head, pouts and looks at Bobby, then makes the other sip of a beer.  “I was shocked when he told me he invited them. I even thought about saying `don't do it`. All the family he needs is here. The family we chose. They don't deserve Buck and Maddy's forgiveness,”  Eddie sighs.

“But Buck and Maddie deserve this. They deserve to have peace with their parents. Not for Mag and Phi, but for them, for Jee, for… who knows how many Buckley babies we are going to see,” Bobby hears the little pause and he knows who Eddie wanted to mention. But he lets Eddie feel like he doesn't know.  “Maybe I hate them, but I would never say it to Buck. Just wait till he would need to escape from them when it's too much and be here for him,” Eddie looks at Buck again and smiles brighter than before. Bobby can see how Buck hugs Chris.

“Yes. It's the reason I let them be here today,” Bobby waits till Eddie will look at him again. When they make eye contact he says, “ And who knows maybe Buck`s kids would have another last name. And Buck too.”

Bobby winks at Eddie and leaves in search of his wife. He sees how Eddie tries to understand his words for a few minutes, but then Buck and Chris call him to join the game.

Bobby sees the men's eyes conversation and the way they smile at each other, and he hopes he will soon need to fill out some forms. 

@jobairdxx I promised you Bobby and Eddie hate Buckleys together, but it the best I could do

[starzzoey]

The Contract

"You can't seriously expect us to sign this, making my wife work 4 years for you in one of your nightclubs." Arthur was furious, this was not how their honeymoon was supposed to go. They were meant to be relaxing by the pool, not being pressured to sign a contract to avoid prison time for false drug charges. Yet here they were in the large Mansion of a man calling himself El Rey or The King in english, paper and pen in front of them. "Well, if you want to go back to England and not spend time in a Mexican prison, I do expect you to sign it. Though don't worry, you can still visit her once I deem she has settled in. Now what will it be." El Rey took a puff of his Cigar as he responded to Arthur. His steely and serious gaze resting on the two honeymooners. Feeling there was no choice and much to Arthurs shock, Sarah took the pen and signed her name at the bottom of the contract. El Rey simply smiled as he pressed a button under his desk and two of his men came in. "Boys, please escort this gentlemen out, I believe he has a plane back to England to catch. Also tell the others to not disturb, His wife and I have a contract to discuss."

6 months later and Arthur returned to Mexico after recieving an envelope with a plane ticket and hotel info from El Rey. When he touched down, one of El Rey's men came to pick him up, they gave him enough time to freshen up in his room before being driven to one of El Rey's clubs La Rosa Rosa, The Pink Rose. When Arthur entered he was not expecting Sarah to be working in a place like this. He thought she'd be put to work in a regular nightclub but no this was your run of the mill strip club. He approached the bar praying that she was just a bartender or waitress but his heart sank when she was not the one serving him. So he resigned himself to ordering a Modelo and turned his attention to the stage. Waiting to see his wife. It took about 20 minutes but then she appeared. However his jaw just dropped. Announced to the stage as Sofia Cruz, The pale blonde was gone in her place was a tanned beauty with dyed black hair, enhanced lips and enhanced tits. El Rey completely altered her appearance to fit a more hispanic look. She owned the stage, oozing sensuality as she worked the pole. Sarah was always a quick learner but she looked like she had been doing this her whole adult life. As the Enrique Iglesias song she was dancing to finished and her 10 minute set ended, Arthur turned to the bartender to get a private dance with her. Not wanting to argue why, he chose the gringo compared to a true Mexican babe, The Bartender called Sarah over in spanish. "Sofia, este hombre blanco quiere un baile privado contigo!" Despite having barely any spanish fluency before, Sarah or rather Sofia saunted over, for a split second her sensual and sexual demenour dropped when she saw it was Arthur before quickly returning and guiding him to a private booth. "Private dances only last half an hour, so best say what we want to say fast. El Rey, has been pushing me hard, putting me through rigourous surgeries and training. I can't even speak any english unless the person who got a private dance speaks it. Which given the club is never until you." Just from her voice Arthur could tell, the 6 months had taken a toll, she was already starting to lose her english accent in place of a mexican one. The conversation they had consisted of asking how she was doing and if they treated her well. Sarah described her life under El Rey as living with a golden chain and collar around her neck. A prisoner kept in line under El Rey's harsh watch. Arthur tried to kiss his wife but Sarah stopped him. As much as she wanted to do the same, she knew they were being watched and didn't want either of them to get in trouble. She simply just continued to give Arthur the same sensual lap dance she gave every client who paid for a private dance with her. 30 minutes later, the dance was over and a security guard popped his head in the room "Sofía, el jefe te quiere en su oficina ahora. (Sofia, the boss wants you in his office now.)" and with that Sarah now Sofia left. Leaving Arthur to head back to his hotel room before heading back on a plane the next morning.

After that night, Arthur waited eagerly for another letter to come through the post with another set of plane tickets and hotel info but nothing came. At least not for another 3 years and 5 months. 1 week before the contract was officially over, Arthur got onto the plane back to Mexico and got into the car ready to be taken to the hotel and head to the club. However that was not where they going. Instead they went to the mansion where it all started, the Home of El Rey himself. Confused why he was brought here, he was greeted by the 50 something man in a white suit that reeked of cigar smoke and led into his office. "Cigar? Tequilla?" El Rey offfered both but Arthur only accepted the tequilla. "Why did you bring me here and not the club?" Arthur asked, no demanded. "Patience Arthur, I simply brought you here to explain that the contract has changed. I have simply grown to attached and invested too much into Sofia to let her just head off back to England." El Rey was calm as he spoke, puffing cigar smoke into the air. "That is not what the contract said, after 4 years Sarah would be done and heading back to England." Arthur was getting quite irate at El Rey's attitude and disregard to the contract. "I am the creator of said contract and I can change it how I want. I am the one with the money and power here not you." El Rey raised his voice and slammed his fist onto the desk. "Besides Sofia has changed too much to return to her old life. Don't believe me, see for yourself." El Rey called for the guards to call in Sofia. Arthur was confused, Sofia was here? However that confusion turned to shock when he saw Sarah. She had changed even more in the 3 and a half years since they last saw each other, if he didn't even know it was her, he would have just thought she was Mexican. There was no trace of the caucasian sarah there was only Sofia. She had more of a tan and her ass and thighs were much thicker. At least her hair was back to blonde albeit it was from dying her black hair blonde rather than just letting the black dye fade and return to her natural colour. "Sarah, what have they done to you. You look unrecognisable." Arthur tried to talk with her but he was just ignored as she sauntered her way over to El Rey before sensually sitting on his lap, he looked over to El Rey who had a rather sadistic smile on his face. "I'm afraid Sofia here will not respond to you. You see, she can only speak and understand spanish now. Oh and as you can see, even if she did understand you, she and I have grown rather... Attached." El Rey made sure to emphasise the name Sofia as he spoke. Arthur couldn't believe what he was seeing as El Rey cupped Sofia's ass and seeing her lovingly cuddle up to him. Anger grew inside of him and he raised his voice towards the man who caused him heartache. That raised voice would be his downfall. El Rey called his men into the room and ordered Arthur to be escorted out of his mansion. Meanwhile he called the police and informed them of a problem he was having. 3 months later and Arthur was stuck serving a 10 year sentence on drug smuggling charges that were falsified by El Rey and the local police which El Rey bribed. A warden came up to his cell and gave him a letter, in it it read: "Dear Arthur, You should not have not have raised your voice at me those months ago. I simply wished for you to attend mine and Sofia's wedding but you just so had to ruin it. On the next visitation day, I shall be there, be a good boy and I shall convince them to let you go free with the condition you join me back at the mansion for a discussion. In the meantime please do enjoy these photos of Sofia and I enjoying our wedding night. I do so hope you enjoy the lingerie and ring I got her. Regards, Antonio 'El Rey' Reyes" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hope you enjoyed this story is based on Alison Takes the deal by HP1920 over on Literotica be sure to check that out

[conceptofjoy]

Same person from earlier since u didn’t think I was totally insane here’s another fun anecdote about my childhood - I used to make my mom take me to the butcher and then look at the butcher with the plaintive eyes of a child and say can I have some organs please (I wanted to look at them and investigate their inner workings) whenever we had dinner I would give fun facts about the biology of the animals we were eating. Everyone hated that. One time my mother also found me trying to kidnap a chicken from the park so that I could feed it to a tiger at the zoo later that day (my zoo obsession). I was also extremely popular at the hospital for my odd demeanor I was there a lot because my dad was sick (he’s good, don’t worry) and they would let me pretend medical malpractice with them (they let me take people’s stitches out and would come to my dad’s room and pull out tumors and be like look what I look out of someone. do you want to see surgery photos?). Tbh adults kind of loved my off putting and strange demeanor once I convinced the sea world staff to let me go in the shark tank even though that was extremely illegal and for adults only but I guess I just had such a powerful all consuming love for anything scary and violent that were like surely if a seven year old can handle the shark tank its this one. There’s a photo of me gleefully putting fish in a crocodiles mouth just covered in blood my parents were pretty supportive of my “interests.” Do u think the harleyberts let seb live out his warrior heart. Do you think they took his little katana and replaced it with an age appropriate wooden sword. Do you think they let him kill his own food. That’s another thing I always wanted to do so I could become one with nature but for some reason my parents wouldn’t let me idk why :/ do you think seb tries to do wilderness survival training and shows up with roasted bugs and a DIY water purifier that’s also what I did (my parents confiscated my bugs)

GI IIIVE ME A S SECOND IM LAUGHING SO HARD I

DUDE IM SO GLAD YOUR PARENTS WERE MOSTLY SUPPORTIVE LMFAOOOO parents confescated ur bugs... im sso sorry hhhoooughmy god.

the crockerberts are also odd individuals. NANNA. there r two matriarchs of the household and they are both chaos demons (angels) while seb cant do all his heart desires out in the wilderness, i think he can make do with the tools and alternatives she (plural) delivers to him.

[idiotwhowritesshipstuff]

Rei Mekaru and Kanata Inori x Ultimate Nurse reader with a similar backstory to Mikan Tsumiki (but not the personality)

Note: ....I’m into DR again, I blame Danganronpa Another, god save me. I’m trying my hand in making banners as the ones Im currently using were from a request to a blog and a gift from a friend so if they look shitty in comparison to what is on this blog that’s why, I figured if Im gonna try writing again why not try to at least put more heart into it

Btw if the prompt is confusing, essentially the reader doesn’t have Mikan’s weak personality and undying need for attention that they’ll humiliate themselves for it, they’re a professional nurse with an abusive family and peers which forced them to learn how to treat their own injuries as no one else would.

- Mod Monaca

TW: Described child abuse from peers and family, Kanata’s section also contains a brief mention of spousal abuse 

She initially dismissed you like everyone else for being a prodigy who she thought didn’t have to work as hard as she did in life so she was rather surprised but pleased to discover your skill as a nurse comes from hard work and determination much like her teaching abilities.

As someone with a disappointing family, she is sympathetic to your backstory about your horrid family and is proud of you for taking the step to improve your own situation over just hoping for someone to save you from your family. She would love to hear about how you managed to get your hands on medical textbooks and equipment since your family obviously couldn’t have been the source.

If you want your family to be put away for their abuse, Rei would be happy to help with some of her connections through the students she’s taught and acknowledged as competent. She would discourage the idea of you asking Kinjo to help as even if he’s the Ultimate Police Officer, he can be a bit manic and she thinks she can help you find better people to get on the case, however she will enlist Kinjo’s help if she can’t get someone better.

If you two were put in the killing game together, she would only be willing to cooperate with you for most of the game, she’d take your autopsies over Inori’s and would help you figure out who the culprit is and how they did it but she wouldn’t spell it out for you, you’re competent enough to learn how to become a fully fledged nurse while being abused by your family at home and by your peers at school, she’s sure you’re competent enough to figure out who the culprit is from your investigations together and some hints she’s willing to give.

On days where your past is haunting you, she would help you feel better by taking you on a date in a place like the library or somewhere that you two can simply relax and chat so you can unwind from stress. It’s during dates that you really get to see Rei’s softer side and she may even open up to you about how her life on the streets affected her since she feels much more comfortable being a little vulnerable around you.

She was extremely excited to be classmates with you due to your talents both coming from the medical field. It’s extremely likely that she’s at the very least heard about you prior to coming to Hope’s Peak as people have speculated how well you two would work together as teenagers with extensive medical knowledge who outclass working adults.

Kanata’s heart would break when she finds out you gained so much medical knowledge because no one would treat your injuries. She did worry about the bandages around your body but she didn’t comment on them as they were well bandaged and she just figured they were from an accident. The fact they come from abuse from your family is devastating to her. Considering how she comes from a loving family, both biological and adopted, she struggles to fathom how someone could be so heartless to their own family though she is reminded that she’s had a few surgeries on people who were attacked by their spouses or romantic partners. It really hits her how cruel people can be when someone she’s close to is a victim of abuse. 

If you ever wanted to pursue getting your family arrested for their crimes, she would encourage you to get Kakeru on the case, as the Ultimate Lawyer, he can definitely help you assemble a case to get them charged for child abuse so you don’t have to worry about them anymore but she won’t push the matter if you want someone else to handle the case, this is your family matter after all.

She would love to introduce you to her adopted family, especially her father, as she firmly believes you deserve to experience what it’s like to have a proper family and with how selflessly the Andos were in taking her in when she had nothing, she’s sure they’ll be able to help you experience the familial love you never got.

In the killing game, you two are major sources of comfort to each other over being unable to save the lives of your classmates. As medical professionals, it’s extremely frustrating and upsetting that you two are never able to save your classmates as they continue to die one by one due to the motives given by Monokuma. When making autopsies she would love having your help so she doesn’t potentially make any mistakes in identifying injuries and causes of death, while she she is confident she can identify them, it’s always good to have a second opinion.

On days where your past is haunting you, she would try to take your mind off it going on dates with you in places like the park. She usually doesn’t go to places like these because she’s so busy with work and she would normally spend time with you talking about patient stories or general medical knowledge, she would comfort you by trying out something completely different from those activities since you may not want to discuss them when in that state. If you do still want to discuss them she’d be happy to chat about it but it wouldn’t be her first idea in helping you.

[xaharadesert]

7 More of My Favourite Horror (Adjacent) Movies and Why You Should Watch Them

(Not in any particular order or subgenre. TW are vague, spoiler free, and from my memory, but you should Google any of these before you watch them. Not all triggers are listed because it’s horror and stuff like death and murder is common)

Part 1 here!

1. Fractured

A man waits in a hospital for his daughter and wife to return from some tests, but they seem to have gone missing.

If you like being sad and also confused (like me), then this is a great film for you! Don’t worry, the end will clear things up, but until then you’ll have a hundred of your own theories developing. Definitely a movie that you have to pay attention to, but it’s not difficult once the mystery begins.

Scary: 1/10

Gore: 2/10

Disturbing: 4/10

Psychological: 9/10

Actual genre: psychological thriller

TW: insanity

2. The House

An animated anthology of three short films all centring around the same house.

Gorgeous animation, fast paced, and constantly off-putting. Each of the short films is vastly different, but they’re all very unsettling in their own way. The second was my personal favourite, but I’d say the first was the most disturbing. The third one is a nice way to ease you out of the absolute horror of the first two so you can go about your day without letting the film consume your thoughts.

Scary: 3/10, 3/10, 1/10

Gore: 0/10, 0/10, 0/10

Disturbing: 6/10, 5/10, 2/10

Psychological: 3/10, 4/10, 2/10

Actual genre: horror comedy

3. I Saw The Devil

After a man’s wife is brutally murdered, he puts his life on hold to hunt down the killer and make him suffer.

As far as non-horror movies go, this is by far one of the most disturbing. The murderer is one of the worst you’ll see play an extended part in the movie, which would be awful if it weren’t for the fact that most of the film is the protagonist purposely letting the killer get away just so he can hunt him down and attack him again. The protagonist isn’t an objectively good character either, but there is something very satisfying about watching him take out his extended revenge.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 7/10

Disturbing: 7/10

Psychological: 3/10

Actual genre: action thriller

TW: rape, sexual assault, graphic gore, cannibalism

4. Hard Candy

A 14 year old girl decides to meet up alone with an older man she met on the internet and go to his house.

Elliott Page my beloved. One of his earlier works, but still amazing. I’m not sure if these one really qualifies as horror, as it’s definitely more of a revenge fantasy, but the first 20 or so minutes had me very worried. Definitely an unsettling atmosphere, but after the first little bit it’s absolutely amazing. Would recommend to anyone, but especially to women who are tired of seeing other women and girls victimized by the narrative.

Scary: 2/10

Gore: 2/10

Disturbing: 4/10

Psychological: 3/10

Actual genre: psychological thriller

TW: pedophilia, surgery, suicide

5. Last Night in Soho

A young girl rents a room while off at college and starts dreaming of the life of the girl who lived there before her in the 60s.

This movie made me cry more than once (but in a good way). I genuinely forgot it was a horror movie for the first 45 minutes or so, and then was very rudely reminded. Gives off the same vibes as Coraline, but in a more adult sense. Absolutely gorgeous cinematography and the character arcs make me feel so many emotions. Also it has Matt Smith, and that immediately sold me on it. Another movie I would recommend especially to women.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 3/10

Disturbing: 6/10

Psychological: 8/10

Actual genre: psychological horror

TW: rape, prostitution, suicide, insanity

6. As the Gods Will

Every high schooler in Japan is abducted by aliens and made to compete in murder games to determine who is the most worthy.

Absolutely batshit insane movie with some of the weirdest… everything. Genuinely hilarious at times, but also immensely gory and occasionally heart touching. I urge you to go into this with zero expectations. Just have fun. Probably the type of movie to watch with your friends when you’re drunk, or alone at 3am when you’re sleep deprived.

Scary: 2/10

Gore: 6/10

Disturbing: 5/10

Psychological: 3/10

Actual genre: supernatural horror

7. Tusk

A podcaster visits an old man’s remotely located home to interview him.

OKAY HEAR ME OUT. I know this made the rounds on TikTok for being awful, but it’s seriously one of my favourite. Also batshit insane, but with a perfect blend of comedy, psychological horror, and really creepy practical effects. There’s no one to root for in this film; everyone is awful. But seriously, a great movie to watch if you have no expectations. I’ve seen it 3 times. Also, oddly specific, but I feel like if you like Angel’s of Death for the psychological aspects, then you’ll like this too.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 2/10

Disturbing: 6/10

Psychological: 4/10

Actual genre: body horror comedy

[beardeddetectivepaper]

€79,135/€120,000 ‼️

Hi. This is Salahaldin Alamassi. I am raising this campaign on behalf of my friend, Nadia Ghaben. The below story is Nadia’s one written and shared by her from her place of refuge in South of Gaza. Hi. I am Nadia Ghaben, a Palestinian mother, wife, daughter, and sister from Gaza. I am knocking on the last door that could open an opportunity for my little family and I to escape the ongoing genocide. I am a mother of a year and half beautiful little girl who have not seen life as we’ve planned for. To know about us, we are a family of three, my husband, Osama, baby Elen and me. We got married in September 2021. My husband and I used to work for private companies where we are now left jobless due to the ongoing war. Ahead of October 7th, my family had already it’s share of the suffering. In our tenth month of marriage and a couple of months before baby Elen arrives to this world, my husband got injured while working where it resulted with a fracture of two vertebrae in the back and his left foot. He got through two difficult surgeries and a third one was planned to take place last December. Unfortunately, he could not pursue his medical journey towards recovery as war abrupted. October 7th was a turning point in our life. We first had to take refuge at a relatives’ apartment. Bombardments were very close, thus, we had to move to my family’s apartment. The war became fiercer, and my family’s building was notified to evacuate as it will be demolished to the ground. At that point, we could not think of a safer place to take shelter but Al Quds hospital. Three of us moved again having few belongings with us. After settling at the hospital, we got the news that my family’s apartment was grounded to earth. Our warm childhood home that once witnessed beautiful memories was lost in a blink of an eye. We stayed for thirty-five days at the hospital which felt like thirty-five years to us living under continuous fire belts and none-stop cruel bombardments. November 11th was another ugly day. That day tanks approached Al Quds Hospital, and we were forced to flee to the south using the so-called humanitarian corridor

We had to walk for about an hour and a half till be reached the checkpoint. I hold baby Elen and some bags, and my husband hold the other stuff. We waited for our turn to pass. We were asked to raise our right hand and hold our IDs with the left one. I was praying that Elen would stay calm as the soldiers will not tolerate a baby crying and they could shoot unmercifully. Time passed like years, and we finally managed to get through to the other side of that ugly inhumane checkpoint. We sat by the side of the road not knowing where to go. Chaotically thinking, we had to take a cart and move to Rafah. Four hours later, we arrived at Osama’s friend home which was turned into a shelter for tens of people. In Rafah, we were displaced four times moving between different neighborhoods seeking safety and refuge. What made matters worse, we got bad news that we lost our home. It was hit several times by the Israeli tanks and is now a ramshackle place. All our cherished memories and the warmth of our small home was gone. All gone and will take years to return if there would be a chance to. Displacement is hard on adults, yet it is even harder to little kids who do not understand why they are not in their rooms playing with their toys and sleeping in their warm silky soft beds. Lack of clean water and hygiene is also a big challenge to little kids as this puts them at risks of getting diseases. The lack of healthy varied food is also an ugly face of the war where little children face malnutrition. We are really concerned about our little daughter’s health as well as future which is now blurrily unclear. Elen got sick several times and did not gain weight due to the above-mentioned circumstances we went through. Throughout this fundraiser, we seek support to secure a brighter now and future for our small family specifically Elen. We are considering how will she grow up and where. We are also considering her health and education especially that Gaza is no more a viable place to live in and we have no home to return to and no jobs as well. Securing the money will assist us in evacuating Gaza and seeking other chances outside knowing that coordinating to travel to Egypt costs around 7000 USD per person and this is a big amount of money that we cannot afford. Life expenses including apartment’s rent, medication, clothing, and food also costs money. We aim for a 50,000 EU that would help us stand again on our feet and open a new page after the devastation that we went through. We would greatly appreciate your contribution to donate and share this donation request so it can reach the highest number of kindhearted people who are willing to save lives and ensure hope for an affected family from Gaza. I will personally handle the transfer of the campaign funds to Nadia, and I am committed to providing proof of the transfer if needed. You can reach me directly for any inquiries or clarifications. With gratitude, Nadia, Osama and Elen

[dollprince]

life update, because why not 🍀🎧🌻🍵🐭

i'm graduating high school next week! it's..... bittersweet. mostly bitter. i wanted to go to school and be normal for so long and i worked so hard to catch up to everyone else. i wanted to prove that i was just as smart and capable despite my lack of education. my school experience was just. constantly being treated like i was stupid or useless because i'm disabled, and when i complained about the discrimination, they barred me from attending class for an entire semester while the school ~investigated my migration status~. sure.

i missed out on my spot at university because my school wouldn't release my transcript. might just do flowers. i'm halfway to being a qualified florist? i just completed a 92 page assessment today and i'm done with flower school for the year.

made some friends at school though. mostly during lockdown. one of them lives with me now! we are legally civil partners, which is weird as shit. we're planning on moving to austria next year.

i have... four different volunteer jobs right now. i like the one where i look after cats. i invited my boss & coworker to graduation. didn't really feel safe going alone after how shit my school was towards me, so needed a safe adult.

i'm having a big surgery in two weeks. hopefully. it's been cancelled twice, so if it happens it happens. i'm not looking forward to it, but it has to be done. wanted to have a birthday party this year, but i'll probably still be on bedrest then. i've never had a birthday party before, universe says no~

i have to leave most of my dolls behind when i move and i'm sad about that. rescuing and restoring dolls is what's holding my mental health together tbh. i don't post a lot about them because anxiety, but there's here! doing doll stuff!

you get a pancake if you read this 🥞

[arkiwii]

Will start with this one then, that I wrote to pass time in the plane

It would be funny if we put an animal between the hands of two unfunctional divorced lesbians don't you think

There's a lot of mistakes and typos probably, I didn't had time to proofread and I'm not native English speaker, so my bad

________________

Somehow, Silence and Saria end up having to take care of an injured Musbeast… Of course, things can only not go well when these two have to do any sort of collaboration, especially when it involves a being's life.

Characters

Silence, Saria, Ifrit

Warnings

Description of injury, description of surgery, injured animal

________________

"May I know what you were doing here?"

A dry voice, normally known to be soft and calm, reached the ears of the silver haired person. This one is found forced to stop her tracks to look up towards the origin of the familiar voice, slightly moving the paper sheet she was observing from her sight.

It was a normal day, nothing really special; just a calm evening in Rhodes Island. In those summer days, it was common for operators to take it easy, simply doing the work they were supposed to do, without doing much, and rarely had to face emergencies. Adding to this, some operators decided to take vacations, taking profit of the sunshine, hanging out with their friends or family, which resulted in turning the normally noisy and busy ship into a calmer and emptier one.

Well, of course, with the exception of these two. The Liberi and the Vouivre simply had no concept of "vacation" or "break", it seems. Why spend days, or weeks, chilling at the beach, when you can work twelve hours per day? The Infecteds' lives don't take a break. Medicine and science discoveries neither.

And even less the condition of their protected one.

"I was printing a copy of Ifrit's health report." The taller woman replied in a monotone voice, with not a single emotion. The facts, straight and direct to the point, nothing else was needed.

A complete opposite to the medic in front of her, who frowned behind her round glasses, grasping at the documents she was holding. "How does it even concern you? You're not part of the medical team." Now that she thinks about it, how long has it been that Saria was looking at the reports of Ifrit's condition? Maybe since the very start - her heart skipped a beat at the thought, suddenly scared about what it could mean, or what intentions the defender had to do such a thing. Under the mess of thoughts, she slightly raised her voice, suddenly seeming aggressive, or at least, on the defensive. "Are you trying to keep an eye on your experi-"

"I'm just making sure she's fine." The tall woman frowned, yet her voice remained neutral. Finally a bit of emotion, even if it seems to be disbelief that her co-worker was still believing that she only had intentions to hurt this child. "Now, I will leave, to not bother you more. Good day."

With a tail wave, she simply just walked away, passing in front of the brown haired Liberi, who was ready to let her leave with not a single additional word, or a goodbye. But she barely took any steps further that rushed footsteps made her stop, followed by a screaming voice.

"Sillleenceee! Quick, I need your help!"

The sudden voice of the younger one immediately changed the hard expression on Silence's face, who quickly turned toward its source in surprise - followed by the Vouivre, who could not help it.

"Ifrit? Is everything alri- Wait, what is that?"

The owl squinted as the Sarkaz approached, noticing a mass of brown fur and feathers in her arms that she was unable to identify at this distance. Saria took some steps forward, closing her distance with the researcher until she was just next to her. "It looks like…"

"I-" The child finally stopped her course to take a few breaths, now just in front of the two adults. "I was playing outside and- And I found this beast… It seems very injured!"

"Wait, Ifrit, breathe." The concerned Liberi put a hand on the blonde child's shoulder. Her gaze turned then to the creature in her arms, quickly analyzing it. "It's still breathing, but it's rather slow… I will have to analyze it in a proper place, come with me."

She made a sign to Ifrit to follow, who did so, under the silent stare of the defender. But contrary to what Silence secretly wished, the horned child will not miss an occasion to include Saria in this affair. "Saria! You will help too, right? You're so good at helping people, I'm sure you would do amazing!" Her little tail swinged as she spoke, an excited smile on her face.

An excitement that was not shared by the two of them, the first was looking at the kid with surprised eyes, while the second ruffled her feathers up. "Saria is bus-" She went to grab Ifrit's arm to drag her away, but she dodged it and returned in front of the Vouivre.

"Busy with what?! It's summer! C'moonn, I'm sure she would help a lot… Just like with me before!" The bright orange eyes of the child seemed to wet up as she begged. Memories of the old times where she and Saria used to collaborate in Rhine Lab remade the surface, against her will. The former director did not know what to say in the entire situation, a part of her wished to accept, but never she would break the boundaries of Silence, boundaries that included staying feets away from the scientist.

"That's up to Silence if she wants help." That's all she replied, redirecting her gaze to the Liberi, this reply betraying that she was indeed up to offer a hand. That's now a situation that the owl has to face. Many replies, many thoughts appeared in her head, as she opened her lips slightly as to say one, but none came out. Her mind screamed to refuse, her heart screamed to accept, and she was just here, fighting mentally to make a decision. Just one, any, but one-

"...Fine. She can come." She deeply sighed, to herself or to the situation, she didn't know. "I might need more pairs of hands anyway." An addition that was not that necessary, if not to convince herself that she did not accept because she wanted Saria to be around. "Now let's not lose more time."

"It really is a nasty wound…" Silence squinted as she was analyzing the Musbeast on a large operation table that was carefully draped with a tissue. The creature was showing a big wound on one of its forepaws, similar to a bite, probably made by a hound. It was covered in dried blood, mixed with fur and feathers, despite the medic's attempt to shave around the it for a proper look.

"Will it survive?" Ifrit was still here, looking as well as the wound. Even if it was not a suitable sight for a child, she was not any child, and it was probably something she was very used to seeing, if not worse, in the operations she had taken. Her tone was concerned - even if she could play the overconfident side time by time, she can't hide her sensitivity to other being's health. In the meantime, Saria was preparing some tools in silence.

"The chances are high, yes… Don't worry, we will try our best to save it." She kindly smiled to the child, gently ruffling her hair with one hand, which was replied to with an awkward laugh from her. "You should leave us to take care of it now… You can go back playing outside, I will tell you if anything happens, alright?"

"Alright alright." The kid walked away, giving a last glance to the beast, but then her gaze switched to the two adults. "I will go but, I better not catch you two arguing or something, OK?" Ah well, it was not words she expected to hear from someone as young as Ifrit, so Silence couldn't help but chuckle at it, but nervously.

"Not when a being's life is between our hands, no." She only replied this, her voice suddenly lowering mid-sentence, realizing how much of a lie it was - after all, they both argued a lot about Ifrit's life. The young Sarkaz then squinted at them, doing the hand sign for "I am watching", before leaving the medical room, carefully closing the door behind her.

An awkward silence installed itself between them very soon after. Both simply just stranded here, their bodies turned to the door. Finally, the Vouivre was the first to break the quiet ambiance.

"...Just like the old times."

She couldn't help but raise the corner of her mouth in nostalgia, while the Liberi did not dared a look towards her, instead focusing her attention on the patient. "Except it's a beast. I hope that you at least have some knowledge in animal health." After putting on a medical mask, the brune owl grabbed a tool holding on a cotton that she dipped in disinfectant.

"I don't. I may be useless after all." She followed her co-worker by putting on a mask as well, but soon got surprised by the sudden reaction of the creature under the cotton being pressed on the wound. "Ah, wait, do you need me to hold it for you?"

"That'd be nice." The owl dryly replied, allowing the Vouivre to move to the other side of the table to place her hands on the creature, who was panicking and breathing. "Be careful to not hurt it. And don't let it go." She whispered a warning before going back to her task to clean up the wound.

"I'm not as…" Saria instinctively replied, but upon realizing this reply was surely useless, she finally just nodded. "Alright." She was holding the beast against the table, tight enough to not allow it to leave despite its struggling attempts, but also not too tight to hurt it.

Seeing this beast trying to break free under her hands only reminded her of another problematic little beast.

"Ptilopsis is not with you?" she finally asked, and realized that she had not seen Silence's assistant at all today, despite the fact that the two are normally always sticking around each other. The concerned one barely looked up at the question, still focusing on the beast who was now letting out small cries. "No. She went out with Mayer this morning. They're going to get new materials for Lutra Workshop. I thought that letting her go outside with someone else would do her goo-" She suddenly stopped herself to sigh, the noisy creature under her hands refusing to calm down, masking the words of the Liberi. "You're a noisy one, you know that?"

She gently rubbed a finger behind one of the ears of the beast, hoping that this kind action would help it to calm down, under the warm look of her co-worker. "Seems like the pain woke it up." She simply commented with a smile, not moving her hands one bit from the creature.

"At least it's a good sign." The brown haired one shrugged, finally setting down the tool she was previously using to clean up the wound. "But it's going to be a struggle for when I'd have to sew that wound."

As she spoke, she looked around for her next tool, while the Vouivre gave her an interrogated look with round eyes. "Shouldn't we put it asleep first?"

Her question stopped the owl, who then moved a hand on her chin, knitting her eyebrows. "Maybe? I don't know how it works… Ketamine?"

"That might be too strong for a Musbeast."

"You're right." The medic slided a look to the animal, who seemed to have relaxed now that the wound wasn't touched anymore. "Maybe propofol then? I'm really unsure what is the best…" she moved a hand to her forehead, grabbing some of her hair as she looked in the void, trying her best to think of a solution. Unfortunately, she really did not know anything about animal medicine, having studied human biology more.

"We can still make an attempt." Saria's voice, still calm, finally stopped Silence in her train of thoughts. "If anything, we would still have tried." She closed her eyes for a bit, finally moving one hand to gently give pets to the beast, brushing the long feathered antennas on its head.

"I don't want to make Ifrit sad if we fail." The Liberi turned her head away, showing a concerned expression despite herself. While the white haired defender was burning with the urge to put a hand on her shoulder, to gently stroke her feathers, to give her comfort like she used to do, she did nothing. She only responded, but in her normally strict voice could be heard some kindness.

"We won't. I promise you that I won't let it happen."

Silence only took a short breath. Can she really trust the person she wanted away from her? She ended up closing her eyes, but then adjusted her glasses with a gloved finger, before turning back to Saria and nodding to her.

No, she can't trust her. But she does not have much of a choice.

It's been such, such a long time since the two conversed this way. None of them can recall how long, but it's been too long, it's all they knew. It was hard for Silence to accept that when it did not come to Ifrit or Rhine Lab, talking with Saria was really pleasing. They both seemed to be on the same level, on some understanding, with a common goal; to protect those in need.

It's when Silence thinks about it that she could not help but feel a slight pain in her chest. On one hand, she craved to forgive Saria, to come back to her side, to feel the comfort she used to give her, this feeling of security and trust. But on the other hand, she was scared to do so; scared that she might be making a mistake, that she might lose the ones she wished to protect and save, that she would fall in the hands of Rhine Lab again.

It was not hate that she had for Saria anymore, not with those years spent with her in Rhodes Island. It was fear. For herself, for Ifrit.

The operation went well. The deep wound on the beast's arm was nothing to be afraid of anymore, sewed back and covered with a bandage to prevent any contact with it. The Liberi was now washing the tools she used, while the Vouivre was reorganizing them, peeping at the sleeping animal time by time. It should not be long before it awakens, now.

"What is the plan now?" The white haired one asked after another look, without looking at the other person in the room.

"Well, obviously it can't be left in nature this way." Silence replied, cutting off the water a moment to speak. "We'd have to keep it around until it's fully healed."

"In Rhodes Island?"

"Maybe. Unless you know somewhere else to keep it - I don't. In a dorm, with someone to watch it carefully, it would suffice." She finally dried up the tools she was washing, walking back near Saria to put them back in their places. "I'm not sure if Ifrit is a good candidate for this, however. As much as I trust her, you know how she can act impulsively…"

"And about you and Ptilopsis?" The dragon took a step backwards to not get too close to her co-worker, and decided to instead focus back her attention on the animal.

"I don't know if Ptilopsis would be alright with it. But even so, it might be difficult for us, as we tend to be often distracted, or focused on work…" Other candidates would surely fit better, but as she thought of Mayer or maybe Magallan, she could not help but decide to play a bit with Saria. "How about you? Let's see how great Lady the former Director is with animals." She caught herself smiling, suppressing this expression the moment she realized she was doing it.

"Not that great." Saria waved her tail, betraying how nervous she felt about it, despite her expression staying neutral. She stared at the Musbeast, who was now slowly waking up. "But I don't mind trying if it's better."

The room went quiet as the two were now staring at the little one. It seemed to be really confused, proceeding where it was and what happened. Instinctively, it went on its paws, and attempted to walk, but soon fell on the table, causing a pressed movement from Silence.

"Ah, be careful-" But the moment she took a step forward, her hands raised as if to grab the animal, it immediately freaked out, and tried to get up instantly to run away. It was not that fast, limping slowly, but still fast enough to escape Silence. Thankfully for her, Saria, who had way better reflexes in this kind of situation, jumped forward to gently catch the animal before it could fall. "Ah… Thank you Saria." the Liberi sighed with relief, glad that the beast was alright, despite its slow movements to escape Saria's grip. It seemed that it was still tired and confused from the anesthesia, but no less ferocious.

"You're welcome… I will have to be careful and keep a constant eye on it, then." her eyes moved to the Musbeast, trying to make sure to not hurt it with her firm hands.

The owl nodded to confirm it, before turning away slightly. "I will continue to clean everything up, and as well contact Mayer and Joye to bring some pet food while they're out, we'll definitely need it. As well as a cone… And pet special medecine…" she started to mumble, a hand to her chin, her eyes straying away. For a moment, the Vouivre was just standing here, the animal in her hands - who calmed down after realizing how meaningless its efforts were - her orange stare on her co-worker. At the moment, she simply just lost herself looking at her, not realizing it. In fact, it's Silence who remarked it first, frowning in confusion at Saria.

"Saria? You can go now. I'll take care of the rest."

"Ah- Right. My apologizes." She nodded politely, feeling her tail swinging in awkwardness, before leaving the room.

A soft knock on her door made her perk her head up.

"I'm coming."

Soft morning sun rays drowned the dorm in warm colors. It was the next day, and Saria had spent the rest of the day in her room, watching her new protected one. Even if it has been a single day, the place was now covered in an overwhelming scent of pet food that she felt like she would have a hard time to get rid of.

As she said, the draconic one stood up to walk to the mechanical door, allowing this one to open, revealing the short brown haired Liberi behind.

"Good morning, Silence."

"Good… morning, Saria." Silence's voice sounded strangely hesitant, as if she was not planning on greeting the person in front of her, but was still caught off guard by the greeting, politeness forcing her to reply despite herself. "I brought the medicine for the beast. Is everything alright so far?"

She tried to slide a look behind Saria, with great difficulty considering how she was built compared to Silence, but upon seeing her struggle, the Vouivre took a step aside to allow the smaller one to see - and maybe enter. "Nothing concerning. It seems to be doing fine, but is still trying to get used to it. Ah, you can enter if you don't mind."

If Silence doesn't mind? Of course she does mind. The idea of entering in the dorm of the person she trusts the least is not making her feel the greatest. She only looked inside, quietly, but decided to shut the thoughts in her head. She's here as a medic, a professional, to help a living being - she doesn't have time to put her personal life in it. Forcing herself to keep a neutral look, she entered the place, and quickly spotted the beast on the bed. At least, it seems like it got used to Saria's presence enough. She placed the medicine she brought on the desk in the room, noticing how clean and organized this one was. Of course, she already knows Saria well to know that her dorm would be very neutral and clean, as if it was unoccupied and untouched since she started to work at Rhodes Island. The only noticeable elements would be her shield, her clothes, documents, and… A slightly burnt feather. Silence frowned at this sight, but did her best to ignore it and focus on the matter, as the dorm's owner closed the door to make sure the beast wouldn't try to flee.

"So let's see this…" Silence muttered as she approached the animal, who was already staring at her with big eyes, the antennas and ears on its head perked up in alert, despite the big plastic cone around. The moment the Liberi was a little bit too close, it stood up, and walked backwards, until its butt hit the wall behind. "Still scared I see…" She whispered, but couldn't help a very slightly amused smile at the animal when it tried to turn around, but the cone hit the wall. Saria approached as well, but simply sat on the bed, before raising a hand carefully at the beast to allow it to sniffle it.

"It's alright, Quill, don't be afraid…"

"Quill?" The Liberi blinked at the name. She really was not expecting Saria, ex-director of the Defense section, known for her cold behavior and for being more sturdy than diamond itself, to be attached to a small fluffy animal that she met a day ago. And apparently, Saria herself was not expecting it, as she stiffened up, waving her tail around nervously. "I was thinking that a name would be more friendly… And, its feathers remind me of yours."

Ah. As soon as she said those words, a very awkward silence took place. The Vouivre, who was looking away, slided a look at the owl, whose expression was… really hard to describe. Surprise? Anger? Fluster? Guilt? Tender? Disgust? A mix of all of those at once? Whatever she was dealing with, something could be guessed; she did not want to deal with it. "I… Hum. Could you try to hold it please? I need to examine its wound."

After that, no more words were exchanged between them. Saria obeyed, picking up the small animal after gently reassuring it, and held it in a way that its arm would be easier to see. The Liberi quickly looked at it - maybe too quick, Saria can guess it's the fact that she had to be closer to her that was making her act this way -, before noting in a low voice that it seemed all alright and starting to heal up. She then went to take the medicine, asking for Saria to force the animal's mouth open for her to put it in its throat. Everything went well, and after being released from Saria's hands, the beast gently jumped out of bed - well, "jumped" in the best way it could -, before hiding under it.

Now, it was just the two of them. Silence did not dare to look at Saria again, instead turning around. "I'm leaving the medicine here. One pill every morning until it's all healed up. I guess you can do the check ups yourself." She walked away to the door, leaving Saria to reply with an agreeing growl, but she finally built the courage to call for the Medic before she leaves.

"Olivia."

"Don't-"

"I'm sorry."

The look of anger on Silence's face upon hearing her first name suddenly vanished at the apology. She finally let out a sigh, looking towards the door, but did not take another step. "Listen I… I just don't know what to think about it. I was hoping you would have forgotten…" she looked behind at the desk, towards the feather, where the defender's eyes followed. "I just need a moment." The feather tufts on her head lowered, but she finally left before Saria could reply anything else.

Since this day, Silence never visited again. Sometimes, it would be Mayer or Ptilopsis, even Magallan once, and of course Ifrit - always supervised by one of the first two. They seemed always glad to see the little beast, who started to feel more at ease at the sight of new faces. They would even bring some treats time by time, Mayer would bring a Meeboo to play around, or take note of its anatomy to perfect her robots. Ifrit was always eager to play or pet the animal, even though she was often asked to leave it alone, as it could not do much in its stade, and Ptilopsis took the role of checking in to keep track of its health.

But never Silence. Saria grew worried about it, sometimes asking news to Ifrit or Ptilopsis, but it seemed that she was doing fine. So she was really just giving her the cold shoulder - she was used to it after all. It was probably better for Silence, staying around Saria against her will probably have stressed her up.

It has been a week now. The cone around Quill's head - name officialized as Ifrit loved it - was removed, and it seemed that its situation was better. Saria would of course not spend all her time in her dorm, she would often wander to the training room, or check around Rhodes Island to see if any operator was in need of assistance or anything. The ship really was calmer and more silent in summer, it was almost boring. At least, she could somewhat entertain herself with Quill. And speaking of it, she was spending this evening sitting on her bed, the small animal laying down on her lap as she gave it a few strokes on its head, gently sliding her fingers on the length of its feathers, her mind somewhere else.

The feathers were extremely soft. She always loved the feel of the texture of those on her fingers, the palm of her hand, against her body. While slightly ticklish, they still brought something to her; a feeling of warmth, of sweetness.

Eyes closed, she could almost feel her presence again. Her head resting against her, and her hand gently brushing her hair and feathers. Bright memories of a past she could never live again. Why wouldn't she fight for it? She could - but she thinks she does not deserve it.

The accusations were false, but the guilt was here. She could, no, she should have known. She should have stopped them before. Before it happened, before these innocents were harmed. It was too late now to go back, but she will still try. She will keep on protecting them, and try to stop those who did it. Even if she was now alone, it was certainly better. So the ones she cares about won't be hurt if she fails. And she won't hurt herself.

She opened her eyes again when the fluffy creature yawned, moving her hand to not disturb it. But as she did, she caught something shining under the light of her room, on its forepaw. Muttering reassuring words to the beast, she picked up its leg to examine it. Now that she thinks about it, it has been a while since Ptilopsis did a check up, maybe she decided it was not necessary anymore. As Saria looked at the wound, she squinted, before catching up what got her attention between the black wires that were used to stitch back the injury; black crystals.

“Saria..?”

It’s a small voice that welcomed her as she opened the door. It was pretty late in the evening, but never too late for the literal night owl that is Silence. She was of course in her laboratory, where she spent most of her time, and that’s where Saria found her. The expression on her face was strange, she seemed surprised, but also not glad to see her; and the Vouivre could not help but notice how her hair seemed greasy and messy, as if she had not taken care of herself for the whole time.

“It’s about Qu… The Musbeast.” she hesitated, thinking that hearing that name again might not do her the best. Silence seemed to relax a bit, maybe was she afraid that it was about her or, maybe, the both of them. “Ah. Did something happen?”

“It got infected.”

She blinked once, then twice, before readjusting her glasses. “I did not know it could happen… I should have watched it more carefully.” Her eyes seemed to wander away, as she lost herself in her thoughts, the way she always did. “How is it feeling right now? Joyce reported to me it was getting better, and nothing was alarming.”

“That’s the case. There’s no sign of an advanced stage of Oripathy, just a few crystals have appeared on its wound.” Saria’s voice remained calm as always.

“...Alright. I will go take a look. Is it still in your room?” As she spoke, she took off the lab coat she still had on her, revealing her clear brown turtleneck under it.

“Wait,” Saria called out the moment the Liberi was leaving the laboratory, getting her to stop in her tracks to look at her. “Have you taken care of yourself recently?” She dared to ask this question, earning a frown as a reaction.

“It’s not about me.”

While Saria’s tone barely changed, someone who is used to hearing her like Silence could guess a certain concern behind it. “The beast can wait, it’s not in an emergency state, you should try to at least take a sh-”

“I can take care of myself- and, w-what are you trying to achieve with all of this anyway?” Contrary to the person in front of her, Silence could not keep her voice calm, and raised her tone slightly, showing a certain anger - or maybe fear, or maybe both, even. It was as if she was afraid of a certain conclusion, that she had been rejecting for long, so long.

Saria could play the innocence card, and ask what she meant by “all of this”, but she did nothing, only opening her lips slightly as if the words refused to leave. She already knew what she meant, so instead she simply looked down, her tail swinging slightly behind her, but soon rolling up around her legs. “I can’t forget.”

The next second, she could only hear a deep inhale from the owl, who closed her eyes as if to calm herself down. But instead of replying, she only turned herself to walk in the hallway. “We’ll talk about it later. But first, let’s take care of this.”

They simply walked for a bit, in complete silence, Saria staying a certain distance from her co-worker as if it was preferable for her to forget that Saria was here at all. Once they arrived, and after a scan from Saria’s ID card to open the door, they were greeted with the animal in the center of the piece, who immediately rushed under the bed upon seeing them. Silence took note of how it walked, it seemed that it was getting way better, only slightly limping. After allowing Saria to catch the Musbeast, she joined to take a look at the wound. Saria could hear her click her tongue before she stood up.

"It's not looking very bad, it's only at early stages… But I don't know how to deal with that." She sighed before sitting on the bed, but keeping a distance from Saria. She was tired, visibly, but still tried to hide it. "Is the treatment the same as humans? How long can it survive? I don't know anything about its biology either." Her eyes focused on an indeterminate point, as she tapped her fingers on her second arm, now turned into a wing. Saria stared at her for a moment, letting go of the Musbeast who decided that it was getting hungry.

The situation was awfully similar to what happened back in Rhine Lab. A patient both had to take care of, yet they could not understand, but a will to save it regardless. That Ifrit was a human child and Quill a simple animal does not change that both deserve a life. But this time, no one was to blame; it was only nature.

She balanced her tail, her hands now resting on her laps. "I guess there is not much we can do… But that does not mean we can't try."

"I guess." Silence's voice sounded deeper, surely due to her tiredness. It would be hard to deny that she has been neglecting herself. "I would have to take a sample of its blood when I will remove the threads… I just don't know how to announce it to Ifrit now."

"There's nothing we could have done to prevent it anyway." Saria nodded, before looking at the beast who was curiously staring at them, sniffing the air as if to get hints if Silence was an enemy or an ally. "The least we can do now would be to give it a good life."

Silence's feathers tufts dropped slightly at these words. "But… I could probably try to find a way to cure it. If I work hard enough…"

"Olivia, you already work enough." The taller woman's voice was strict at those words, but still somewhat full of concern. The Liberi could have been mad at the sound of her name, but at the moment, her mind was too focused on the matter, and too tired to pay attention, that hearing it again sounded more of a habit than something she would reject. "You do a lot for Ifrit. And not just her. For Ptilopsis. For this small Liberi woman you met as well. For Rhodes Island as a whole." She would have liked to offer way more than just her words - to be able to hold her again, to reassure her like she used to do. But not right now. "You need to take care of yourself too."

Silence sighed deeply, closing her eyes to not reopen them, feeling way more comfortable this way. "I feel like I'm hearing Joyce… Since when did you care about us?"

"I always did." The amber eyes of the draconic one looked away, at the Musbeast, who was now approaching them to jump on the bed, before taking place between the two of them - but closer to Saria, to whom it was the most used to. Both looked at it silently, eventually Silence dared to approach a hand to gently pet it, noting that it was as soft as her own feathers.

"I still don't know if I can really trust you." She finally started, her eyes not moving from the creature who was still showered in tender pets. "I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that if I go back, things will get worse, that I might lose her. But this time we spent together… Taking care of this beast… It just reminded me of the days in Rhine Lab, and how much I missed them." She finally let go, and now brought back her two hands together, before staring away once again. "Even if we were running towards a bad end, things were easier, and we were happy together… But now, I'm afraid of being blinded again. Of being used."

Saria could only listen in silence. Her heart tightened at the words, it has been so long since she heard Silence speak her heart open this way. She only nodded to show that she saw listening, even yet the Liberi woman could not see it.

"So long story short, I don't know what to do. But I need time. I'm still afraid for Ifrit. And I still don't trust you." She took a sharp breath, before sliding a look at Saria, finally. "But either way, we both are working towards the same objective, right? So you better not break my trust again, and my heart."

Maybe Saria was dreaming, or maybe she really did see a smile on Silence's face. Or maybe this one was so tired that she was not paying attention anymore. Her head dropped to look at Quill, now simply laying down against her lap, comfortably. "I won't. That's a promise you can trust."

"I wish." Silence whispered, her eyes closed, before letting once again calm install itself between them. It was a strange conversation they just had, never they spoke this way. Exposing each other's heart, so calmly, and yet, despite the terms they were on now, they could still somewhat find a common goal to fight for. To protect Ifrit.

"Alright," the owl finally stood up after a moment, feeling as if she was falling asleep, and despite having found a consensus, she absolutely refuses to fall asleep on her ex-lover's bed. "I won't take any longer. I still have work to do."

She walked towards the door, Saria looking at her do so, blocked by the small animal who seemed to have fallen asleep near her.

"Good night, Olivia."

Silence stopped just in front of the door, but did not look behind. "It's Silence, until otherwise. Good night, Saria."

And now, it was just Saria and Quill again. Now alone, the Vouivre could not help but drop a tender smile, whispering to the pet next to her, as if it could hear her.

"She really is something, huh…"