#i have like 10 unfinished projects and im also working but im also finishing up school work and i cant focus on ANYTHING

[spirit-mail]

Welt yang moaning and groaning and sighing n gasping

[lonely-space-ace]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @serenbex!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 31

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

137,690

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Doctor Who, but also RWBY, Star Wars, and a bunch of other stuff, most recently I've been writing for Dimension 20

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Build This House Into a Home: an NCIS au where Gibbs adopts a bunch of children (genuinely don't know why this had the most)

Not Again: a crossover between Gravity Falls and Amphibia

Everything After: a RWBY fic about the fallout of volume 9, which is currently unfinished but Im working on it I swear

I Beg to Differ: Also a RWBY fic about Yang and Ruby recovering from the events of volume 9

Mates: The Doctor and Donna being best friends :)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Mostly! I really try to respond to all of them but sometimes I forget to and then feel weird responding three months later

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhh

angsiest fics as a whole is probably I Beg to Differ or Carry On, but my only one with an actual angsty ending is This Time which is a drabble about the Fifth doctor in the Caves of Androzani

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Yes.

Jokes aside its probably either Sunrise or The Many Proposals of Nyssa and Tegan since those end with couples getting together and marriage etc.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully not yet!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've only written one so far! It was a crossover between Gravity Falls and Amphibia. I've had one planned for ages between ToH, GF, and Amphibia but haven't finished it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but I'd be down to try it sometime

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Don't do this to me

My favorite to write is probably Nyssa and Tegan? But I also love Bumbleby. And Imodna. And Beauyasha. and so many others. Dont make me pick

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I live in a world of clownery where I fully intended to finish all wips eventually (ignore the fact that some haven't been updated in literal years)(I'm working on them I swear)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel like I'm pretty good at characterization and voice. I've also gotten a lot better at description and image recently

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action scenes can and will kill me. also I don't know why I write romance so much seeing as I have literally never dated anyone. Also I tend to struggle with longer projects, although I'm much better at it than I used to be.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Its fine but I prefer to be familiar with the language before writing it. And seeing as other than English I only know Latin, ancient greek, and ASL it doesn't come up often when writing fic

19. First fandom you wrote for?

...I plead the fifth

(It was ncis. on ff.net. like four years ago.)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

ohhhhhh that's hard. I love The Many Proposals of Nyssa and Tegan, both because of the fic itself and also because it introduced me to some lovely fandom friends. Everything After is one I am particularly proud of, as is Raising Our Glass, I don't know if I could pick one

Tagging @social-mockingbird @writing-my-mind-ink and anyone else who wants to join :)

[devondespresso]

WIP Wednesday!

Tagged by @stobinesque 💕

THE RULES

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

WIPs

ok so im cheating a little because i don't have many written wips but i do have unfinished projects sitting on my desk! so for those i'll be spending 10 minutes on it in place of writing 3 sentences

1. Claudia Henderson Canon Character Masterlist (written wip)

2. The Steve Henderson AU i might actually finish who knows anything could happen (written wip)

3. Season 3 Dustin Custom Funko Pop Keychain (physical wip)

4. Chrissy Cunningham Custom Funko Pop (physical wip)

5. Måneskin Battle Jacket (physical wip)

SNIPPET

its the Steve Henderson AU babeyyyyy

i feel the need to clarify that im outlining this bad boy right now and making event timelines and highlighting reoccurring themes and shit so the prose is Not Good. This ones an elaboration of a sticky note i wrote before bed one night, reformatted for readability because its literally just a block of text in the document gdskfjadaljfha

(listed right after “Season 2’s very long demodog-fighting tunnel-scampering day”)

STICKY NOTE: “Scene with Claudia and Dustin addressing Dustin lying in season 2, Mews, and their relationship. Probably before [the] hospital [scene]. Started about him disappearing all afternoon [and] segue[s] to Steve helping him and then to helping Steve because he has no one right now.”

Wanting to make sure to add this scene because Dustin's relationship with Claudia is just as if not more important right now than Steve's relationship. This is adding a reasonable and implied scene from canon and using it to establish and expand Dustin and Claudia's relationship by having this confrontation about him lying to her and all these things he's not telling her.

This establishes Claudia's need to know what's going on and how persistent she is with it, which will end up pushing Dustin away to Steve for more than just upside down stuff because of how casual Steve is about everything (like crushes and shit as we see in the train tracks scene in season 2).

Also Dustin's lie in the show is kinda shit anyway like he says he'll stay home and then runs off the whole afternoon??

They're also gonna have to address Mew’s death and Dustin's gonna give a half-truth (maybe Steve gives it since the show can't decide if Dustin is a good liar or not. Or its a cover story decided beforehand? We’ll figure out specifics later) about some rabid dog killing Mews and Dustin hiding it because he didn't know how to explain it without hurt his mother’s feelings and how he got Steve to help track the dog down so it wouldn’t hurt anybody else.

And from here Dustin talks about how cool Steve is and how he got hurt helping him and the party and how he wants to be there for him too (cause Steve is in the hospital for the concussion right now). Maybe Claudia picks up on the wholesome admiration and that's why she gives in or maybe she just agrees to take Dustin to visit him and seeing and meeting Steve makes her decide to take him in. probably a mix of both. Might have to be Dustin's pov if Steves not there but maybe it'll work out so where Steves there for part of it and the rest is implied afterwards at the hospital and days that follow (again we’ll figure it out later)

real quick tagging @loser-jpg @nymime and @elmoshipsbyler absolutely no pressure ofc🕺🪩💃

[sga-owns-my-soul]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks @wonkyelk and @esteefee for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21 currently!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

27805! which is insane to me

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stargate atlantis 🥰

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Rodney McKay Has Worth (and not just for his brain) and Not Dating, but More Than Friends

Names Have Power

The Scientist and The Soldier

Expressions of Love and Trust

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! i don't always see comments but i definitely try to respond, even it's just to say thanks for commenting i'm glad you enjoyed it! it means a lot to me when people take time out of their day to not only read my fics, but to also leave a comment. i always appreciate it!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

for posted fics, probably Bludgeoned, it's very angsty and ends with an vague insinuation that rodney may or may not survive his latest off-world incident. for fics in general it's definitely my Bad Timeline au wip where nothing happy happens

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ronon Gets Mad at Sheppard, i think. i've got a lot of fics with a happy ending but i'm really proud of this one and how it turned out. it was a bit of a challenge bc i don't write ronon very often but it was really fun to get into his character and i'm happy with how things got wrapped up in that one, i think it's a very cute fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully, no!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yesss i love writing smut 🙏🏼 im honestly surprised at how little smut i have on my ao3 honestly, i don't think i even have a kink fic posted which is my favourite kind of smut to write. i should fix that 🤔 (feel free to send me ideas!!)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i have written exactly one crossover in my life, i posted it unfinished on wattpad like a decade ago and it was a bones/one direction crossover where the boys got kidnapped by the gravedigger. i think i wrote like 4 chapters total before i abandoned it 😅

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of, and i really hope i never do. i have no issues with people sharing my fics but please don't claim it as your own!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of, but i would be so honoured if someone did!!!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

i'm currently co-writing A Big Project with @the-mushroom-faerie but shhh it's a secret no spoilers

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

this will come as no surprise to anyone but it's mcshep 🥰🥰

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

so i had this idea for a fic about radek visiting rodney everytime he's in the infirmary, and it starts off with like a "hey can you sign off on these things cool thanks bye" but then after the storm he visits him and sees his arm and it progresses to radek getting very sad and stressed every time rodney gets hurt so he visits him in the infirmary. i've written a few scenes for it but it's such a big project that i doubt i'll ever finish it

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm very very good at writing angst and sadness, probably bc i am a void of angst and sadness 😂

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

endings i'm so bad at endings i can't write endings for SHIT i feel like most of my endings suck lmao i also cannot do technobabble i'm not smart 😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i only speak my bastard native language so i have to rely on other people or google translate so i very rarely do it, but i think it's so cool when other writers can do it!!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

uhhhh i don't remember if it was one direction or dan and phil that i first ever wrote for, i wrote for both of them right around the same time

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

i really love all the fics i've written, both published and unpublished, but i think my absolute favourite fic i've written was this ficlet i posted here for a kiss prompt between ronon and jennifer (i just think it's so adorable and i love them and the little team dynamic/interaction is so sweet it's just so cute okay i love it)

Tags: @the-mushroom-faerie @spurious @frostysfrenzy @colonelshepparrrrd @frankthesnek and anyone else who wants to!!!

[mothervvoid]

For the writing ask, 10, 22, 43, and 99! 🧡

for this meme

thanks for the sneak peak at the new bit you wrote for abandon, btw, i loved it! i've said this already so many times before but the way you write obito's dialogue... :chef's kiss: it's just amazing dude.

at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

because of just the sheer amount of failed projects i've had in the past (mostly bcos i started writing fic when i was in middle school and thus very bad at planning) i still associate naming things before they're finished to be bad luck. because of this, most of my fics are named right as i'm about to post! notable exceptions to this include Dogteeth, call me what you like and do it again; and do it again is actually a title i stole from a project i ended up abandoning!! (the concepts are similar tho).

it's kinda hard for me to come up with titles for fics im writing at present bcos i REFUSE to name most of them until they're finished. so then i'll just sit at the post box and glare at it bcos now i have a finished fic and no name. i've got a list in my notes app full of potential titles i think up for this very reason but sometimes none of them fit. and then there's times where i come up with the perfect title! once in a blue moon occurrence though.

describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

okay so, the process:

step one: come up with scenario. typically smth i want to see that i haven't seen yet. or it is something i've already seen i just want to do it myself.

step two: daydream about it. come up with a few vague scenes. i often imagine my fics as movie trailers funnily enough.

step three: keep daydreaming. there's a lot of daydreaming involved in my process unfortunately, about 70% of it is daydreaming and then translating that daydream onto paper. i think in both pictures and words so this is, thankfully, usually easy for me. during step three we've moved past vague scenes and have started fleshing out the meat of the really important scenes and have started on the connective tissue between, like motivations and how everyone got there to begin with.

step four: actually writing. typically this happens after a period of procrastination where i start writing it in my head, and then i write and rewrite it over and over again until i like it. (< this is the part of the process where my unfinished projects will usually die because i will start writing and then become daunted by the enormity of the story i've dreamt up. longfics scare me! there's a reason why even my chaptered fics are short. this is something i'm slowly outgrowing.)

and that's it!

how did writing change you?

it's given me a lot of questionable knowledge on subjects i am not majoring in.

but if i'm being honest? i think writing has helped me through some pretty dark times in my life. the pandemic ruined my mental health, and there's a fic i wrote from 2019 (it's batman & rhato related) where that really shows. i figured out i could express myself through writing and i just kinda ran with it lmao.

i also think it's made me better at expressing myself period tbh.

was being a writer a dream of yours when you were little? or did it spring up when your older? or is it just a hobby? 

i didn't really think about being a writer when i was a kid, i was very much your stereotypical child, i wanted to be a movie star or a singer. then i got older and it sort of sprung up on me--i see this as more of a hobby than a career though. i've toyed with the idea of writing something and trying to get it published, but i'm a little soured on the idea because so many members of my family keep pushing me to monetize something that's been a beloved hobby of mine for years, something i really don't want to turn into work, yk?

[sobrietywithnobullshit]

My First Post (intro); TW: drug use & addiction.

sigh I always start things i don't finish, so this blog will probably be just another unfinished project that i forget about in a month. Sorry for the pessimistic outlook- it's a big habit of mine. Along with many more. This is going to be a semi long intro so bare with me.

So let's start this out typical. Hi my name is Sam and i'm an addict. Going on 8 years now. It's probably more like 10..ish. I say 8 though because there was a point in between using for fun and needing to use daily without getting sick, where i was sober for like a little over a year. So 8 years works for me.

Choice of drug: heroin, opiates, and most recently the antagonist in this story- fentanyl. Which is quite ironic i phrase it that way because they use antagonists to reverse the effects of opioids. If i had a choice, i would have never started using fet at all but these days that i all one can find. Besides that flesh eating shit, don't get me started on that lmfao. I have been lucky enough to not run into it- yet. Plus i don't shoot (i am terrified of needles) i snort. So my skin is safe for now lol. I also have been lucky enough to have never overdosed. Or die in that case. So praise the lawd.

Let's cover recent events that made me start this blog. About a month ago i entered a detox facility about 3 hours from where i live. I drove myself and stayed for a little over 5 days. Then left. All of you reading are probably like WHAT THE FUCK BRUH you were sooo close. Trust me i know. There was alot that happened there that was so unhealthy and ill make a post about all that shit later, but to sum up how i felt there besides sick from withdrawals, i felt like a damn science experiment.

Cut to two days later me wanting them to take me back and they wouldn't unless i started on suboxone (which i didnt want to again ill explain more about all this in another post). This time my parents drove me fucking 3 hours there and back for nothing. About a week or so later i entered a rehab facility 4 and a half hours from where i live. I drove myself again. I was under the assumption it would be guys and girls (it wasn't). There were alot more things i assumed and it wasn't the case. This will also be another post. But i left 24 hours in due to safety issues and drugs literally in the facility. Which was partially my fault.

Okay so my recovery hasn't been so good. I am currently using still and felt overwhelmed for about a whole month. I kept telling myself okay i will call the new rehab tomorrow. Then tomorrow turned into a month. I didn't even realize i was doing it until a month went by.

I have found a new detox facility a bit closer to home..2 hours lmao. I live in the middle of nowhere btw. So 2 hours is nothing, i drive two hours to get my fix every week so.. no big deal. Except this one was super hard to find because the name of it wasn't anything to do with detox or heroin or ya know. I'm not sure if i am going to be accepted or if they have an opening yet because i haven't called. And im not going to until i have everything in my life in order. They also have a really nice rehab that IS coed. It's also not in a hospital, its more holistic.

So that is where im at currently. I probably will call them on monday or tuesday of next week. I had to get some cash together, my clothes washed and packed, and i also had some random shit coming in the mail that i knew would get stolen if i didnt wait. But for the most part- everything is in order. So next week i could be getting clean again for the 4th time.

So this is me. Im sam. Which i should mention isn't really my name haha. But it is my favorite name. Always love samantha from totally spies. Maybe when i start getting clean and actually have more than 5 days, i will reveal my ugly mug. Thought about starting a tiktok but who knows. Social media has never really been my thing. But you know that because im literally starting a blog on tumblr i 2023 lmfao.

Anyways, sorry for the horrible format. Just kind of writing this spur of the moment. Just wanted to introduce myself. This blog will be about my sobriety journey with no fucking bullshit. That's one thing i hate. When people get clean and they pull the omggg jesus saved me. Or they get clean and forget that dirty part of themselves. I never want to forget this part of me because it's made me who i am. I will never be ashamed of that.

Talk soon. Please be safe out there. Message me if you need anything. It gets better.

xoxo sam

[peachcitt]

fanfic year in review - 2020

hey laddies i was tagged by both @miabrown007 and @strangerahne to do this, so without further ado here we go!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished: 

Bone Tea (march) // All These Selfish Feelings (march) // Doomed from the Start (may) // Wouldn’t it be Nice (may) // my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room (may) // screw the classics, and screw you for believing in them (june) // Friendship Bracelets (june) // Those Benevolent Stars (june) // the dark and the stained glass watchers (july) // Bloodsucker (july) // Messy Advances (july) // Happy Endings, the Sun, and Other Steps to Madness (july) // Guessing Game (august) // Passion Fruit Sunset [zine piece, currently unavailable] (september) // Home Coming [zine piece, currently unavailable] (november) // here (november) // bread and oranges (november) // clarity (november) // burgundy, near black (december) // About Emma Martin (december) // cherries (december) // falling, flying (december) // aloe-infused fuzzy socks (december)

23 fics??? okay well looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

2) Number of words written:

219,184 words (which includes my unfinished fics on ao3 and the wips i haven’t posted)

again looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

3) Your most popular fic:

friendship bracelets - the first in the series of my homoerotic college au zukka fics. honestly? i can’t even say im surprised

4) Your personal fav:

MAN this is hard. okay it’s gotta be a four-way tie between bone tea, those benevolent stars, home coming, and screw the classics and screw you for believing in them but really i could be lying because i wrote so much this year (i guess now last year?) that i was really really proud of 

5) Your fav scene:

okay i have a lot of favorites but for right now i’ll say: the scene in chapter 3 of those benevolent stars when adrien and marinette are sitting on the banks of the seine and they talk about their favorite colors and adrien’s soulmate - it’s such a quiet and gentle moment, and because you know that their favorite colors are based off each other’s eyes but only marinette knows that and because you know adrien is talking about his soulmate to his soulmate and she knows it but he doesn’t. it’s full of such beautiful, tragic dramatic irony that i just love so so much

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

hm okay the last few chapters of bone tea were definitely challenging not only because of, like, the big fight scenes (which, im not really comfortable writing fight scenes) but also because i had take all of the mess of emotions in bt and wrap it all up into a conclusion that needed to be satisfying. the same could be said about happy endings, the sun, and other steps to madness (minus the fight scene part)

writing impure - my changeling jim au fic - has also been a fun challenge because i basically watch trollhunters episodes as i write, examining each line of dialogue and each character interaction and seeing how that scene or relationship would be changed by the fact that jim is a changeling. it was also a little challenging to keep everything fresh and new - especially at the times when the dialogue from the show stayed the same in the fic, but so far, im really really happy with the way the fic is going

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

off the top of my head are these two lines, both from screw the classics:

It was the ‘Daisy, Daisy, Daisy’s, over and over. Like her name conveyed some sort of deeper meaning that she expected Daisy to be able to understand. Like if she repeated it enough, it would become a sort of prayer that God would listen to, that He would enact to make Daisy put her fists away for once in her pitiful life. It was just “Daisy, Daisy, Daisy” over and over until her name stopped sounding like a name, like a word, and it was just a sound to fill the silence so that neither of them would have to talk about the way Basira’s touch lingered each time she wiped blood away or the way Daisy would always sit so that her knees touched Basira’s even though they were on the floor and there was more than enough room for them to breathe different air.

and

But sometimes Jon was easier than Basira. He didn’t have any of Basira’s softness - he was all edges and sharp lines. His elbows were basically knives, and his hips were edged with broken glass.

the first paragraph i really love because there’s almost a rhythm to it - like poetry - and i love the sound of it and all that it means in the context of the fic. 

the second little bit i just love because every so often i think about it and i love the imagery and metaphor and the way it fits jon - in canon and in this fic. in this fic, they’re all in high school so jon is gangly and skinny and bony and in general, he’s just abrasive and a little rude. this description of him i just love (and the way i described him from martin’s pov in doomed from the start; “Jonathan Sims looked, even from a distance, as if he was perpetually smelling something awful. His features, just left of handsome, were marred by furrowed eyebrows and a distasteful frown.”)

8) A comment that touched you:

LITERALLY SO MANY????? the comments on the final chapter of bone tea, telling me that the story was something that they loved and found comfort in, the long comments on any of my fics detailing their exact favorite parts, the comments that were just short jokes that made me laugh out loud - literally i can’t pinpoint one. im just so thankful to have written things that people respond to with such kindness and love

9) Something that inspired your writing:

music!!!!!! i found myself making playlists for a few of my fics this year or listening to specific old playlists of mine for the right mood for a fic, and it’s really inspired me to write

also, as always, my own personal experiences. i thought and felt a lot this year, and i think in every single one of the fics i posted this year, you can probably find a central thought or feeling driving it that no doubt comes from my personal life

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

finishing bone tea and tying the title to the fic!!!!!!!! finishing happy endings and also tying that title to the fic!!!!!! getting accepted into two different zines and working with two different amazing artists and completing those fics!!!!!!!! literally writing anything at all!!!!!!!!!

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

i think mainly i just want to write, you know? i want to stop putting so much pressure on myself, because this past year i put so much pressure on myself that i was constantly feeling like i was underperforming (which was, like, super untrue, but you know how it goes) so when i wasn’t writing i felt like i was wasting time. i mean, don’t get me wrong, i had so much fun writing and creating all of these things that im so so proud of, it’s just the space in between writing sessions that i want to let myself breathe in. i don’t want to dread thinking about writing for fun anymore because that’s not fun

besides that, i think my other goals are to just continue forward with my unfinished projects - impure, the new wave, the bone tea extras - and to officially start the other two long fic ideas i have for mlb that ive been really excited about for a long while. this past year i wrote a lot of one shots (like. so many. oh my god) so maybe this year i might focus on long projects. who knows though definitely not me it’ll be a surprise for all of us

=

anyway that’s all!! thanks mia and strangerahne for tagging me!! ive been needing a lot of reminders lately that i have, in fact, written this year, and having to, like, do math and scroll through my ao3 page and all my google docs has been really enlightening so thanks so much for this

i tag: @lnc2, @chatnoirinette, @deinde-prandium, and @rosekasa! y’all don’t have to do this, but i’d love to see how y’all felt about your works this year and also to see y’all love yourselves very much because you deserve it. also literally anyone can do this you can just say i tagged you i don’t mind it’ll be our secret - i highly encourage it because it’s very sweet and very fun to look back on all you’ve accomplished this year

<3<3<3<3

[yoongisbars]

Samusil | myg | P R O L O G U E

summary: It was always known that you were the family disappointment. So naturally, you fled. With a looming school debt, alcoholic tendencies, and no luck whatsoever in keeping a job for more than a month, you were at your wits end until you finally cave into working at Bang-Lenzo. You’ve only ever heard horrors of the place and its manager. But maybe, just maybe, that office would become your safe haven.

pairing: myg x reader genre: strangers to lovers au | office!yoongi au | future angst? fluff?  word count: 7.5k tw: alcohol as coping mechanism, subjects that might hit close to home note:  inspired by The Office US, this is only a teaser, a taste, of a project im working on, i wont release anything besides this until its ready, so pls endure !! <3

        Life was a bitch to everyone, and ever since you flunked out of Business School, it’s proven you weren’t the exception. It was an already supersaturated field with bright minded, innovative entrepreneurs. And you? Realized halfway through that the business world wasn’t cut out for you. With an overwhelmingly expensive college debt for an unfinished degree that your parents refused to pay for, you became the official family disappointment. After two years of being done with their bullshit, you finally packed your stuff and moved as far away as possible, hoping to start anew in the small town of rural Yangpiji.

        Just because you had some level of education, didn’t mean it would get you quite far. It’s done the opposite, in fact. Jobs with higher wages frowned upon your incomplete studies, and jobs that didn’t give a fuck if you finished high school, didn’t pay enough to deal with their idiocies or take care of the bills for that matter. One heated argument with the owner of the last food joint you worked at was the final straw. Throwing your dirty apron at his face, you walked out of there without a single care in the world, and for the moment, you felt powerful. At least until you waltzed into Slack Jack’s and sat at the bar that night, head buried into your palms.

“Rough shift?” Your eyes peered from behind your fingers, focusing on a shot being placed in front of you. And boy, were you thankful for it. Without speaking, you threw that shit back and let it burn your throat, the only consolation for the situation you were in. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Jackson, I quit.” Feigned shock played on the bartender’s face as he cleaned a beer mug. You weren’t the only one who searched for new beginnings in Yangpiji. In front of you was Jackson Wang, owner and proprietor of Slack Jack’s. He had moved there from abroad no more than ten years ago in hopes to reinvent himself, and against all odds did. He had been your close friend for the past three years since moving. Quite frankly the only good thing this area had to offer was Jackson and his cheap drinks that get you hammered quick.

“Really? I wouldn’t have thought!” His hand shot up to cover his mouth, chuckling at your bland reaction. Rolling your eyes so far into your skull, a heavy sigh escaped from within.

“I’m serious. I quit. I quit work, I quit life, I quit Yangpiji- I’m tired… I hate that I’m a jobless 28-year-old drunk, with nothing to offer this world besides how to survive on garlic noodles and rum.” Your hands traveled the air around you as you searched for words, “I can’t even afford to make them Jjajang Noodles, Jack. JJAJANG!” A small shriek spewed out as you downed another shot, you stopped counting after the third one. Dread and sorrow pooled around you in a matter of seconds. You were at your wits end. And you couldn’t say you were past your peak, since frankly you never took off the ground to begin with. “I’m a failure, Jackson.”

        Widened eyes traveled the room trying to find any words of consolation, but the bartender couldn’t find anything other than pity. His hands moved quickly, putting away the bottles before he was tempted to offer you anymore. He usually served you on the house because he knew of your struggles, but you also drank your weight in alcohol, and he didn’t want to go broke any time soon.

“Listen, chief. There’s still an option…” Oh no… You didn’t want to hear it; already knowing what was coming. “The Bang-Lenzo Yangpiji Branch is still hiring for a secretary; you should test it out.”

        Ah, yes. Bang-Lenzo Inc. Somehow a successful company in the dying paper industry. One of the first to drop their deforestation contracts for their supplies and switch entirely to recycled paper. Since most companies didn’t believe in the Save The Trees movement, most of their major clients dropped them and signed contracts with Bang-Lenzo instead. Working for them would be an achievement… If only the branch in your city wasn’t a nut house.

“Jackson…” Elongating the last syllable, you groaned. “I’ve heard horror stories of people that have tried to work there, it’s chaos. No one ever lasts a full week…” The idea of even bothering to work there was dreadful. The workers there were a nightmare, so you’ve heard. But their manager? A complete lunatic. Unprofessional, immature, inappropriate, and other negative connotations have been used to describe the young manager, Jeon Jungkook. Rumor had it he was the top salesman for 4 years straight before the old manager died. When the company crunched the numbers and stats, he was technically the most qualified for the manager position and had managed to keep it for the past 5 years.

        Amidst your internal struggle, Jackson raised an eyebrow and cut you straight. “It pays $15 an hour, plus benefits.” On instinct your hand shot up, doing quick maths in the air. Holy cow. You shifted your attention to Jackson so fast you almost snapped your neck.

“That’s almost $30k a year!”

“More than you’ll ever make busing tables, that’s for sure.” He had a point. And, you were desperate. Maybe not so much at first, but $15 is $15 and if it meant sacrificing your sanity for survival, well damn it, you were down for the count.

“Guess I’m speaking to Jeon…”

        On Jackson’s commands and with a set of instructions, you left the bar early. ‘Prep for tomorrow, rest and sober up.’ Three things that you were never quite well doing at the very last minute. Bits and pieces of information were fed to you, in order to try and snatch the job at its core.

‘From what I’ve heard, he likes to go in on Saturday mornings to catch up on some work.’ All that meant was that you had to wake up early, and your suspected hangover did not like that. You did what any ‘sane’ person would do and popped in a pain killer and a nausea reliever, an old family remedy to wake up fresh and ready.

‘At the breakfast buffet two blocks over, I once saw him obliterate the cheddar biscuits… And I think he has a thing for sausages too.’ Really, it seemed like Jackson knew Jungkook too well, but honestly so did the town through word of mouth. That last bit of information is what made you scour the nearest convenience store for the necessary ingredients to make the piece of resistance, the key to securing your assets. With this bread you were going to get your bread.

---

        Morning came quickly, as you had gone to bed late baking and sorting out your clothes for the day. Sporting one of your finer ensembles just to make a statement, you were ready to take life by the throat. A dark gray, tight pencil skirt above the knee, a light beige button up blouse with pearled buttons, and a blazer to match the skirt. You applied a fair amount of neutral colored makeup in order to rejuvenate your features to not look like you’ve been miserable for the past 10 years. You finished off the look by slipping on some classic, black Mary Jane’s.

        For the first time since inheriting this 1999 Verna, you were glad the aircon was a hunk of junk and only blew hot steam. Of course you drove with the windows down to receive actual fresh air, but you angled the conductors towards the biscuits, keeping them toasty and warm as if freshly baked that morning. Jeon Jungkook would be in the palm of your hands and the job would soon be in your possession. Financial stability: here I come.

        Parked outside of the building, you painted on a mask with all of the false confidence and determination you could muster, before any ounce of regret could slip in. Once the clock hit 8:55am, it was time to go. You grabbed the biscuits, which you had ever so ‘lovingly’ placed in a basket upping the charm factor, and headed for the entrance.

I need money. I need money. I need money. It was the mantra of your choosing as you took the unnervingly long elevator ride up to the Bang-Lenzo office where your unannounced meeting with Jeon Jungkook awaited. Yes, unannounced. Obviously to anyone with common sense of time, 9:00pm wasn't a viable hour to schedule a meeting for the next morning, so you decided to take the determined approach and show up like you already owned the place. For the first time you had a goal and were dead set on obtaining it. Nothing would stop you from getting that income. I need money.

‘Bang-Lenzo INC.’ read the door sign in front of you. For a moment you closed your eyes, fighting off the urge to walk back to your car and forget this place. But your mantra was quick to erase such thoughts. I desperately need money. Overpowered with feigned confidence, you strutted into the main office. Immediately you were faced with your soon to be desk. It was large and crescent shaped, spacious and tall. In a room to your right, you heard a muffled voice. Surely that was Jeon’s office. With a huff of air, you went to knock on his door.

“Huh? C-come in?” Faint and hurried clattering was heard from inside. With suspicion, you went for the door, revealing behind it the manager, and possible future boss: Jeon Jungkook. Sporting nothing but a set of gray sweats, disheveled hair, and a headset placed around his neck. “Did you need something?” 

The scene in front of you made you lose focus for a split second. You had never seen him before, and by personality description you expected many things except him being viciously attractive. And also a gamer, noted by the Overwatch screen on his computer. The thought left you in a split second, you only had one goal and it did not include sleeping with the manager to reach it. You learned that only works once and it’s never rewarding.

“I’m here for the secretary position? I figured since it’s early and unannounced I’d bring in a little something to eat.” A sweet and charmful voice oozed from your throat, foreign to your body unless it was summoned. The confused manager’s doe eyes lit up once they set intensely on the basket making way to his desk. “I hope you enjoy warm biscuits.” Before he could even question what was going on, you were already sitting across from him, placing your intricate resume in front of his grubby self, you were ready to snatch this job from his hands. He had already fallen victim to the biscuits. You could see the revival in his eyes as soon as he took the first bite. Butter and cheese were the key, but  it was the mini weenies hidden inside that sealed the deal.

Jungkook didn't bother to offer it much of a glance. Instead he redirected his attention to you. “Are you good with computers and organizing?” Bread crumbs and cheese lingered on the corner of his lips as he spoke, you could have sworn some spittle came in your direction as well. Upon further inspection, the food stains on his sweats may have started a whole community of bacteria. Any office fantasy of getting railed by a manager quickly died with this individual, and some word of mouth started to make sense.

“Yes. Anything document and spreadsheet related I can handle, not to mention emails, and of course scheduling agendas-“

“And you made these? From scratch?” He held a biscuit in awe, and you couldn’t help but feel success in your future.

“I did.” You offered a soft, shy smile. Another desperate attempt to charm him for the job.

“Do you think you can bring them in on Monday mornings? Starting this Monday? Tell you what, I’ll raise you to $16 an hour if you do.” You choked on your saliva, instantly entering a coughing fit. He really might be off his rocker, but in this economy, who cares? Not you, because for simply baking Sunday nights you get an extra $40 a week. With this bread, you get your bread. 

“I certainly can! It would be my pleasure.”  “Great! Then let’s sign the paperwork and make it official.” He rummaged through his files to retrieve the contract. “Gosh, I can’t wait to tell the other managers all about my new beautiful secretary who cares for me, and cooks for me, and, who knows; maybe even have a secret romance with me?” There it was, the inappropriateness everyone talked about. Jungkook didn’t give you time to come out of your confused state. “Ha! I’m kidding! It’s just a joke. We’re professional. Professional. We’ll of course report our relationship to HR.” A noise seemingly from The Grudge escaped you. There was an ungodly uncomfortable silence before he decided to kill the awkwardness of the situation.“KIDDING AGAIN!” 

        You didn’t question the lacking interview, or how Jungkook was quick to hire you. It was the most unethical thing in the world and yet? You didn’t care. You were one step closer to financial stability, and that was all you could ever ask for. With the contract filled out and already added to the payroll, you had officially signed your soul over to the white collar world. Serving as the official secretary of Jeon Jungkook. He truly was an oddball, and somewhat inappropriate, but he didn’t give any indication of being an asshole of a boss. Too friendly and annoying, but you had the gut feeling he might just be a decent enough boss. Or at least not so much of an idiot that you can tolerate working for. Besides, the money’s good.

        Walking out of and looking back at the building, your eyes spotted his office windows, with him behind, cheerfully waving you off as he ate the remains of the biscuits. A subtle reminder, you needed to prep your baking game.

--- 

       With a more dressed down version of what you wore to the impromptu interview, you drove your car over to the office building. Only this time, pulling up to the parking lot as you were now an employee. Jungkook’s car was already there. A sleek, black Equus. In comparison to its ancestor, your Verna, it exuded upper management presence. He clearly was a successful 27 year old, and you aspired to be able to reach as much coin as he probably had some day. Really, all you ever wanted in life was money. Were you willing to work much for it though? Probably not, but you didn’t have a choice. It was time to get in gear and make up for lost time. 10 years of your life, in fact.

        You stopped thinking about past mistakes before you could let them affect your first day. Taking the biscuits and purse in a hurried manner, you rushed up to the office. Only an hour earlier than the rest, but you still had things to prove, if only to yourself.

        Upon arrival, Jungkook was busy fiddling on your computer. Documents and folders were neatly spread out on a corner of your desk, waiting to be filed and sorted.

“Hey Y/N, You’re early! I hope you don’t mind, I’m setting up your company email so you can quickly get started.” His quick fingers stopped abruptly, for just a moment, his hand reaching for the biscuits. “And thank you for these, I didn’t think you’d actually make them.” He cocked his head in surprise and took a bite before finishing setting up your computer and programs. The comment left you with an odd feeling.

“Of course I would, I promised it.” Truthfully you only agreed because of the pay raise, but you would still hold up with it. No complaints. “Why did you up my pay grade if you didn’t think so?”

“I don’t know, incentive? I figured this would be an easier way to have someone stay for longer than a week at least.” Shaking his head for only a brief second, he continued. “But there’s something about you that tells me you’re going to be the perfect fit here. You have potential, Y/N. That’s why I hired you.” What the fuck was he talking about, ‘Potential’? You were a 28 year old deadbeat, a failure and a degenerate according to your relatives. You had anything but potential. Noting the hesitation to answer, Jungkook changed the subject swiftly. 

“And it’s done. I’ll give you a quick rundown of things on the machine and then we can work with organizing my schedule, I am so out of sync with this company and I haven’t a clue when my next meetings are.” With a clap, he stood up and motioned you to the seat. He continued to peruse through the biscuit basket, searching for the ‘cheesiest ones’.

        After a tour throughout the company programs and where supplies and files were around the office, the other workers started to arrive in a timely fashion. Some didn’t bother to give you the time of day, but others decided to greet you as soon as they walked in. Particularly a few of the guys from accounting and sales were quite enthusiastic to greet you. If you remembered correctly, the younger pair of them were from Accounting; Jimin and Taehyung, they were really nice, a bit shy as were you, but very polite and warm. You watched as they sat at their corner and bickered slightly, but it seemed to be in honest fun. The one from sales, Hoseok, was the opposite in terms of shyness. He welcomed you with the most charming of smiles and emphasized that if you ever needed a helping hand around the office to not hesitate to ask him. He cheerfully chatted your ear for a few minutes giving you a small idea of what a day in the office might be. “It’s not that bad once you get used to it, you just need to give us a chance.” You heard his hidden pleas. Many people came and went from this place and their tongues never ceased to express their distaste for it. Even most of your coworkers gave off an air of annoyance with the place. You couldn’t blame them, but basing your experience on first impressions only, it could be worse. Only time will reveal the shithole everyone else claims this place to be.

        It was 20 minutes past 8:00am and the once empty office was now filled and working. Jungkook came out of his office ever so often, glancing over the the desks, ‘tsk tsk tsk’ is all he ever spoke before going back behind his door. You thought to ignore his manner and focus on organizing his schedule based on the emails he forwarded you. He had plenty of meetings, webinars and conference calls to attend, and they were all scattered around. On your shared calendar, you added the event reminder and description for each and every one for the next month, even going an extra step to add reminders on your own calendar the day before, just to make sure he’s up to date. 

        A new email displayed on the screen, an impromptu conference call for Jungkook in 10 minutes labeled ‘URGENT’. You were about to head to his office to notify him, but you remained seated as the entrance door swung abruptly, startling you just enough to make you forget your name and the company you now work for. All you saw was a coat being placed on the rack next to you with an exasperated sigh escaping the core of the individual. Right away, it was clear that if there was anyone in the entire building that hated having to wake up early in the morning just to show up to work in this unfortunate place more than you, it was him. Like the majority of the employees, he looked straight up miserable, even behind dark colored sunglasses. The freshly made venti Iced Americano, the slow paced walk to his desk and his disregard to show up on time were, in your opinion, strong indicators of his likely hatred for his job.

        Settled in his desk, he removed his shades. His narrow, cat-like eyes drew you in like magnets, there was no telling whether or not his iciness was natural, or a ruse to limit his interactions with the rest of the staff. Yet somehow they were still fitting for his rounder, chubbier cheeks. His lips were already pursed downward, but they seemed to curl even further and remain that way almost permanently as Jungkook peered his head out. You tried calling out to him, but your voice was muted by his own exclaims.

“Yoongi!” He shouted, you could say enthusiastically, towards the late addition in the office. He released another sigh, this time accompanied by an eye roll.

“Not now, Jungkook.” His voice was deep and low. Eyes never abandoning his monitor as Jungkook approached him. 

        Whatever conversation they were having was nothing but whispers and subtle head shakes. Yoongi was it? Didn’t seem in the mood for whatever chatter the manager kept going on about. You noticed bow everyone in the office was trying to work, but not being able to steal sudden glances from the conversation. Judging by those, especially Hoseok’s since he was sitting right at the situation, you assume they all had an idea as to what was unfolding. You, however, could only assume was an odd scolding in Jungkook’s manner for him showing up late.

        A ringing alert brought your focus back to your own desk, the incoming call you guessed was from Corporate due to the email. Jungkook had previously requested that you warn him first before answering any calls from them, and you remembered what you were ready to do before Yoongi walked in. Not wanting to bring in any attention to yourself you debated quickly which was the best option, calling him over or going straight to him, but you didn’t even answer yourself before your legs started moving on their own.

“Jungkook.” You tapped his shoulder gently, and spoke softly. The young manager startled a bit, and you were unsure if the other man’s expression was relief or annoyance, but you let it go quickly.

“Yes? Oh! That reminds me. Everyone!” What you wanted to avoid was exactly what he gathered: attention.

“This is Y/N, office secretary. I want you all to make her feel welcome, be kind.” He kept going on one of his badly timed speeches until no one paid him any mind.

“Jungkook, you have-”

“Would you both excuse yourselves and talk elsewhere?” The deep voice that spoke seemed to command more authority than Jungkook did. 

“Sorry,Y/N. Yoongi’s a bit on edge due to his divorce trial.” The last phrase he tried to utter as a whisper by leaning close to your ear, and although he made it sound like such, it was still loud enough for people to hear.

“Do you really have to tell people about my personal life? Where does it end with you?”

“I felt like I needed to excuse your attitude, she’s part of our family now anyways, she can know.” 

        Their bickering picked up again, Jungkook defending the reasoning for his declarations and Yoongi countering with how he always oversteps fine lined boundaries and doesn't have any common sense. Although you very much agreed with what Yoongi was saying that it was an invasion of privacy, you were still caught in the middle of their crossfire and all you wanted to do was inform Jungkook about the god forsaken call.

“JUNGKOOK.” Your raised voice silenced their bickering, and the room came to an onlooking halt. Anxiety started creep behind you due to shouting over your manager on your first day, causing flashbacks of previous outcomes due to this similar situation to roll like a montage in your head, but your patience was running thin.

“What, what is it?” Jungkook, unphased by the situation, cocked his head at you in slight confusion.

“You have a call from Corporate.” You maintained your stern tone, but you were wavering internally. His demeanor took a turn, eyes so wide you feared they would pop out.

“Did you answer?” Whispers gave an undertone of fear. With the phone still ringing in the background, you shook your head.

“Good. Tell them I’m out with a major client. I’m not here.” He hurriedly walked you back to the phone. The glint in his eyes says you should worry, but you swallowed and answered with the same feigned confidence you used for the interview.

“Bang-Lenzo, this is Y/N.”

        You successfully got rid of the Corporate call in the morning, but you were unsure how long that might last given the urgency they requested it with. And Jungkook’s behavior regarding any calls from Corporate today, or the rest of the week from what he stated, was worrisome. It was a concern you’d tuck to the back of your head, it wasn’t your business anyways.

        As the day went on, you saw that life in the office was quite eventful, so to speak. After the ordeal of Yoongi’s divorce proceedings this morning, and Jungkook avoiding Corporate like the Black Plague, an array of unusual things for a normal day to day office routine continued to happen.

        Mainly, Jungkook was entirely distracting. To you, the staff and mostly to himself. He would constantly try to make conversation with anyone, and the topics were always painfully awkward. Anytime he was actually in his office, more time was spent playing Overwatch with Taehyung than doing any kind of work. Not to mention he eventually ventured over to the conference room, with Jimin and Hoseok in toe, for their “twice a day dancercise routine” as their official 15 minute break away from their computers.

        If you thought the nonsense would end there, you were soon to be corrected. It in fact continued in the numerous times Taehyung and Jimin came by your desk asking for copies. And not even official work copies- they were asking you to print out different versions of invitational flyers for their ‘seasonal crop party’. To your surprise, Taehyung had inherited the only strawberry farm in the region due to his grandparents passing, not like you had bothered to ask anyways. The only question you cared an answer for was if Jungkook had approved of using office supplies for this. It shouldn't have shocked you like it did that the man himself had designed the flyer and organized such an event, but still. 

        Lunchtime couldn’t arrive quicker. Some of the staff beelined with their meals over to the lunchroom area, while the others went out to eat. You half expected Jungkook to take advantage of the lunchroom crowd for his shenanigans, but he opted for eating in his office with Jimin and Taehyung instead. You could hear their incessant planning murmurs as you passed by to heat up your meal.

“Y/N!” Jungkook exclaimed once he caught your movement. “If the others give you the cold shoulder, feel free to join us here for lunch.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I planned on eating at my desk,” You chose your next words carefully, feeling the party planners’ gazes. “But I’ll keep it in mind in case I get too lonely, thank you!” The soft smile that spread across your smile was enough to comfort them from the small rejection. They went back to their discussions and you headed for the microwave.

        Peaking your head into the lunchroom, it was filled with the younger, unwelcoming faces from earlier. It’s not like you planned on sitting down and chatting with them, you were there just to heat up your lunch, but upon entry you noticed how their conversations volumes lowered all the way down to whispers and snickers. You focused your attention on the whirring noises and beeps the microwave offered as a mere distraction. It was a curse you carried for as long as you could remember. Any giggle, whisper, snicker, or anything of the sort you heard in your perimeter, you felt was directed at you. As if they could see the list of failures and misfortunes displayed on your back.

        You took your bowl and offered the room a nervous smile and nod before leaving, hoping it came across as a ‘sorry to bother, enjoy your lunch’.  As you exited the room, Hoseok, tailed by Yoongi, was heading with his food over to the conference room.

“Y/N, come join us if you want.” Hoseok was beaming, if the sun was human it would be him. Contrary to the one walking past him, not bothering to stop. He could be truthfully considered the dark side of the moon. Although with his back to you, you could make out his unrelenting scowl reflecting in the conference room’s glass wall. “Ignore him, he’s still mad over this morning.”

“All things considered, I can’t blame him. But I think I’ll pass.” Hoseok hooked his free arm around yours before you could continue.

“Nonsense, you shouldn’t cast yourself out on the first day.” In truth, Hoseok’s friendly manner and joyous attitude couldn’t be denied. You felt his genuine interest in making sure your transition into the office was a smooth one. In the room, Yoongi was already gulpin down his food, not bothering to glance up until he spoke.

“Shut the door so I can tell you…” Words escaped him, replaced by a sigh as he spotted your presence, and Hoseok’s sudden realization of what this lunch reunion entailed. Surely, they were meant to discuss the divorce proceedings, but Hoseok forgot upon trying to welcome you.

“Right… Y/N, rain check? Alone on your first day though...” He sighed as he flushed with embarrassment and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t worry,” that was directed more at Yoongi if anything, a small assurance accompanied by the subtlest of nods. The rest was for Hoseok, as a dismissive joke to calm his worries. “I’ll probably join the Crop Festers and their shenanigans.” He cocked his head in confusion, a sharp ‘hm?’ caught in his throat. You brushed it off, leaving them with a wave. Wishing them a nice lunch and closing the door behind you, it was unknown to you that the Crop Festers had overheard, and were expecting you at Jungkook’s door excitedly.

“So you’re joining us then?” Taehyung assumed overjoyed, and Jimin couldn’t hide his giddiness. Jungkook was at the back at his desk, shaking his head in tune with soft chuckles before waving you in. It was clear that there was no way to have an unbothered lunch for the next 45 minutes, so… You joined.

        Tae, as he now urged you to call him, and Jimin made space for you between them. Rice, meats, noodles, and an array of veggies were spread across the desk, now along with your own addition of food and in no time you were all eating and sharing your meals. Jungkook even offered up the few remaining biscuits, causing Tae and Jimin to fuss over why weren’t they brought out sooner and how good of a cook you were. Now they were expectant for next Monday morning for a pleasant cheesy boost.

        Unknown to your conscious self, you were having a nice time. Further into the lunch, you became more involved with the Crop Party planning, and were even getting a bit excited for the day to arrive. A paid work day for a strawberry picking party? Who could say no to that? You weren’t ready to admit it just yet, with it being the first day and all, but… You were starting to like this place, even if you weren’t ready to acknowledge it. Once lunch was over, and everyone was making their way back to their desks, they eyed you with slight annoyance as you walked out of the office along with Tae and Jimin, still laughing at one of Jungkook’s impressions of some of the staff. Unaware, Yoongi and Hoseok exchanged a suspicious glance. Who was to blame any of them? It was a first for them to see someone new being friendly, or accepting the office shenanigans as they transpired.

        Afternoon was a milder version of what the morning turned out to be, everyone was calmer now, and as the hours passed you noticed they worked harder. Even Jungkook was filing reports and taking work calls, as long as they weren’t from Corporate. One of your last tasks was to send out some notice of change in policy emails to clients, it was the most time consuming, but it helped the remaining hours pass by in a flurry.

        Bags started to be packed and coats began to be thrown on as the clock got nearer to 5:00pm. Everyone was ready to put an end to the odd Monday, and you could tell by their soft smiles and shy ‘See you tomorrow’s.  Hoseok dropped by your desk with a “Lunch tomorrow, for sure!” before leaving and wishing you well. Yoongi followed behind him, not offering anything at all. More than likely still fussy over his personal issues being announced in the office. Jimin and Taehyung each went for a goodbye hug, as they were more than excited to have you aboard. Often they carpooled, you found out that they live together on the farm. After being friends for so long, they decided to run it together. Only you and Jungkook, who was still stuck in his office remained. With your things on hand, you peered through his window to give him a small wave which he returned, followed by pointing to the phone and making mocking expressions of talking too much. With a shake of your head, you went to clock out, putting an end to the first day on the job. You would call it a success, for it being your very first 8-5, and it deemed celebration. So once you hopped on your Verna, and peered out of the parking lot, your destination was clear: Slack Jack’s. 

        You had never once been there on a Monday, much less after 5:00pm. Late weekend nights were what you had grown accustomed to due to your old odd jobs here and there. But much to your surprise, the ambience at this hour was much more tranquil and up your alley than what you were used to. You hated crowds and loud groups of people, and there was none of that here. Eyes scanned the bar for your favorite and only owner, who upon noticing your arrival called you over to an empty stool up at the bar. Eager steps made their way over as he placed your favorite shot on the counter: a water moccasin. You paid no mind to the individual next to your stool as you sat down, eyes trained on the peachy, sweet and sour whiskey shot glass before you. Widened eyes stared, unknown to you, as you drank it in one big gulp, placing the now empty glass on the counter, snapping and pointing at Jackson with finger guns as you exclaimed “Hit me again”.

        A smirk played on the corners of his mouth as he placed a second one just as you finished asking. Knowing your habits, he made two as soon as he saw you. “I’m guessing today went... ?” He was expecting you to tell him all about your day, as soon as you finished fighting off the burning feeling down your throat. It was always the second one that got you the most. Hissing for only a few seconds, you spoke.

“Honestly? Honestly honest? I can’t complain.” Alcohol was slowly starting to take effect on you as you rambled on. “At first I was kinda freaked out? Because everyone was kinda weird? OH! And then Jungkook decided to out a guy’s whole divorce or something?” In the background, next to you, someone cleared their throat as Jackson bit his bottom lip, trying to hold in a chuckle, but you went on. “I don’t know, it was weird. But like afterwards, it was pretty chill. Jungkook ain’t that bad. And lowkey? I can’t wait for the strawberry season, dude.” A snort escaped you as you thought back on the Crop Party. You couldn’t wait. Tae mentioned something about making fresh milkshakes, and right now you were wildin’ at the thought.

“So I’m guessing you’ve met Yoongi?” Jackson’s hand motioned you to look to your right. Lo and Behold, Mr. Divorcee was magically there, a citrus whiskey on the rocks in his hands. And that’s when it hits you, you have a loud mouth.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Eyes like a deer in headlights, pleading for forgiveness. Yoongi waved it off. You finally heard his voice without a hint of annoyance.

“It’s fine.” Bringing the glass to his lips, he took a long sip. Which reminded you.

“Jackson, may I please--”

“Have another?” He chuckled as he went to prepare a fresh shot. “Don’t get carried away tonight, though. You work tomorrow, remember?” 

“Hey, I have self control. I won’t drink past 6:30, I swear.” To even prove such control, you didn’t rush to down the shot. Instead you tried to build a conversation with the man in charge of the drinks, but he cursed silently at a reminder.

“Fuck, excuse me for a sec. I have to call my parents.” You remembered him mentioning something about an upcoming anniversary as he rushed to the back, leaving you alone with Yoongi, a shot and your thoughts. 

        Allowing your mind to travel far for a moment, the waterfall of bitter memories with your family started to cloud your field of vision. Forgetting where you were and who was around, you brought your hands up to either cheek and gave yourself some quick, small smacks in an attempt to distract your tear ducts from doing their job. A groan escaped you as you reached for the shot in front of you, disappearing it in an instant. So much for self control.

        The man next to you watched in awe. He already knew far more about you than whatever first impressions you thought you gave, courtesy of Jackson. But he was one to always doubt the extent of the things he said, and since forming odd suspicions of you at the office, he figured now was the time to see if anything added up. 

“Escapism?” The sudden voice shocked you, and brought you back to reality. Another snort made its way out your nose, in an endearing manner.

“You can say that. No, you know what? Life is a bitch.” In your drunken manner, you broke. You vented, you ranted, and you rambled. You laid out your entire life in front of this man, this stranger, revealing more than what was necessary, but you couldn’t stop yourself. “And now here I am.” Fingers tapped the counter, antsy. Waiting for Jackson to come back and serve you yet another shot to calm down.

“I see, I’m sorry for all that. Things are looking up now, at least?” Yoongi shrugged, a winced expression since your story was still fresh in his mind. “But, if it makes you feel any better, I have some fucked up shit going on myself."

“Oh really? A divorce? Family exile beats loveless marriage any day, boy.” Another side effect of your alcoholism was straight up competitiveness. Even though it stung him, he couldn’t help but laugh. For him, it even felt like the first time in a while he had done so earnestly.

“My wife is pregnant.” Whiskey glass was brought back to his lips for a moment, barely touching them. “And it’s not mine.” He finished off the remainder of the glass, while you stared in silence, jaw dropped.

“Whoa, that sucks... How do you know though?” You brought your face closer to him, in curious intrigue, not knowing what personal space was; but he didn’t mind much as he inched in a bit closer to speak.

“I had a vasectomy.” A sighed escaped his core as he too revealed his life to a stranger. “Before we got married, we were clear that we didn’t want children. At least not for a long time, so I got the surgery done. If we ever wanted kids we would have a talk and take out time to decide how to go about it. But one day,” he shook his head, thoughts lost in the memory “she was very persistent that I go get the reversal done. Like, that I had to get it done that week. And I found that suspicious, so I pretended to get it.” His fingers now mimicked yours earlier, lightly tapping on the counter. “We waited the recovery time, had sex, and a few days later, she was pregnant. So I filed for divorce. Do I win now?” His usual serious pout curled into a smirk as you shook your head no.

“Nah, I still win. You can always get a new wife, I can never get new parents. I don’t make the rules, chief.”

        The mood was starting to liven up, but the universe often threw curveballs in your direction. Text alerts distracted you from your office chatter with Yoongi, and again, you soured. It wasn’t often when you received messages from your cousin, but you never talked about the elephant in the room. This time, however.

‘Your dad’s been asking about you lately. Anything worth mentioning?’ You watched the words fade from the pop-up screen, and debated in silence. The shift was visible, and Yoongi caught it as it happened. “Is everything okay?” he asked. Instead of answering, you simply opened the chat and showed him the message. Grabbing your phone in his hands he stared.

“Do I answer? Do I just leave it for tomorrow? What could I even bother telling?” Complaints continued to spew out of your mouth, muting the light clicks of Yoongi’s rapid fingers working on the keyboard. You’re only brought back from your rambles when you feel him pressing your phone still in his hand, back into yours, a message already written out in the text box.

‘I just started at a new office job. Safe, secure. It’s working out.’ Short, simple and to the point. A quick nod was enough for him to press send. As he pulled away, leaving you with the chat which was instantly read, you expected to feel a bit better, but your worries and anxiety remained as your fingers drummed at a quickened pace, itching for yet another shot. 

        Right on cue, Jackson’s presence made its way to you. Catching your tells, his hands moved straight to the Schnapps.

“Actually, I think she might be better off with water instead.” You shot daggers at him, annoyed at such an assumption. “Same for me. You said you won’t drink past 6:30. I don’t make the rules, chief.” You couldn't grumble out much, because as much as you desperately wanted to be irresponsible and drown your sorrows in waves of alcohol, you had a new, very decent, job to uphold. And that required showing up sober.

        The rest of the night went by pretty decently, ending with a new weird routine of going home early instead of waiting until Jackson finished closing off, to drag you all the way to his car. The nights you drove to your home from the bar were less than the ones he posted you up at his own apartment. 

“You’re good to drive, right?” This time, it was Yoongi who was nice enough to walk you over to the beat up Verna at the end of the lot.

“Surprisingly enough, I am. Thanks.” Sticking the key into the lock, you jiggled it around. The only sure way to open the door these days. “What about you?”

“Considering I only had one glass of whiskey, I think I’m alright.” He motioned over to the Genesis next to you. “I’m gonna head out. Drive safe.”

        You nod and make sure he's at least safe besides his car door before entering yours. Turning back briefly to look at you, your goodbye wave stops halfway as his words reach your ears.

“Lunch tomorrow.” Is all he says. he doesn't even bother waiting for a confirmation, he simply gets inside his car and drives away.

        Starting up your car was always a hassle but you got it kicking in no time. As you pulled out of the lot, you spotted the Genesis still at the empty intersection. You flashed your headlights twice before heading the opposite direction, and from your rearview saw him continue on his way. Despite all the characters and particular personas inhabiting the living bodies of your coworkers, you couldn’t help but think: Yoongi's just might be the most intriguing to you after all.

[themidnightdisaster]

Slurp's Nanowrimo Journal

Day 1 of Nano

Woah there i was able to write three chapter outlines and gave all my characters their own professions and some traits.

I'm being productive icb. Hoping to finish these chapters before the week ends.

Q1 : What was your first piece of writing?

Overall in literature I would say it's a script for the trailer we made during the 7th grade. *im cringing on grade 7 self fr*

Then in fiction novel, a university au with my classmates as characters I wasn't able to finish it though.

Day 2 of Nano

Was able to write only like 200 words to end the first scene bc i taught my sis for her modular classes.

: ( hope i can make it up tomorrow.

Q2 : What time of the day are you most likely to write? Why?

If it isn't curious with my username, during midnights. The only time of the day where everyone is asleep and my surroundings is peaceful as well. Kinda not healthy but yea, I've been used to it since the start of HS when I'm procrastinating with school tasks.

Day 3 of Nano

My days are alr late I havent realized lol.

So I wrote approximately 500 words last night (a record I guess) and I'm going out today so I have a chance to refresh my mind! Wearing masks ofc hehe.

Q3 : Do you plan or just go with the flow? Why?

With social media aus, I don't plan like not at all. With novels, I don't too but I at least write my ideas vaguely especially when I think it's so mindblowing!

I feel drained when planning traditionally for some reason no one would understand and that includes myself. Lmao.

But for this nano, I outlined my chapters and the vague idea dumps are still there. We'll see what will be the outcome.

Day 4 of Nano

I surprisingly broke a record again! I wrote 2184 words today yoohoo! And i think i finally found a 1 hour writing music for me and starting tom ill be using that. Another miracle, i wrote those in the afternoon so thats why im sleeping early today. How i wish silence like this happens everyday.

Q4: Is a word count important to you? Why or why not?

Yep! I like it when I see my progress through time and it motivates me. But like... word count in a chapter? I dont think its that important. Every novel is different. We all have our own ways.

Day 5 of Nano

I finished my chapter 1 by 5 am so i did nothing writing-related today. I started watching a web drama series and binge watched Chicago Med by night (im planning to find the full episodes)

Q5: What's your favourite writing snack/drink?

I usually go with water especially at midnight since im always thinking by that time, "oh my maybe i havent drink water earlier yet maybe i should drink today" and food? Whatever we have in here.

Day 6 of Nano

Was able to write 1/4 of the chapter, yet im not contented bc i wasnt able to reach the scene i wanted to write. Im worried that i would break the streak tomorrow bc classes are finally starting again. Maybe i would go by 500 words per day. This week. Ill try.

Q6: Do you have a favourite place to write? Do you change it up or write in the same place every time?

I just want somewhere silent and peaceful. At night, I just roam around the house and feel the vibe. During the first days of Nano, I'm on my bed. Now, I'm comfortable to write on my study table even during the day as long as I have my headphones on.

Day 7 of Nano

I fucking have no idea how come im super late in this when i started on nov 2. Eh. Weird.

Anyway, i almost got frustrated when at the 23rd hour of the day, i wrote only 500 words for the chapter 2.

So i skipped to chapter 4. Wrote a flashback as an intro and yea, got 1500 words! Unfortunately, didnt add up for nov 9. So its for today.

Q7: Who is your favourite author?

Well, it's a local author from wattpad. Serialsleeper. She's the only author whom I will read everything whatever she writes! Her mindblowing plot twists, the humor, the characters. I love the way she builds up every character she makes, she makes everything relatable even when her forte is horror slasher! One of my unfinished works is inspired by one of her books. How I wish her books gets translated so she can also gain fame worldwide. She deserves it.

Day 8 of Nano

I didnt write anything for today (yea thanks to the bunch of modules for my sis) but im writing atm. Yea. Im writing on my birthday. What about it?

Q8: What is your favourite book?

This is hard... i dont have anything in particular. Like that all time fave. I love all the books ive read in their own ways.

Day 9 of Nano

So this is the day i literally wrote nothing. went out for lunch in a faraway place, had a celebration when we got home, and watched the half of sonic the hedgehog movie. We got some visitors sleeping over here too so i really wasnt able to write anything. We have no classes tomorrow so i hope i can make up.

Q9: What is the premise of your current project?

The nano one? So, it's a film maker who is making an attempt to reunite her old crew from College to join a film festival in their place. Ok its sound so boring yea but the thing is... it wont be easy for her. Why? Well, she left them hanging after the tragedy she herself made.

Day 10 of Nano

Welp im three days late. This is so bad. Today. Nov 13 i started writing again. And... i want to survive this chapter today !!!!

Q10: What is your favourite genre to write? Why?

Slice of life? That's where I relate to. Friendships, to be exact. A romance story that only not focuses on the romance itself, but also the characters' friendship with others. That's where I guess, comfortable writing about. I got the experience, I got hurt because of friendships too. So there.

Permanent Note : came across this amazing idea by @emotionalfig that i will be answering in the every day! Yay, go try it too!

[sweet-sixteen-kraang-birthday]

Out of everything you’ve written, what lines are you most proud of? Finished or unfinished works 😁

Funny thing: I was actually reading through some of my older, older writings today. Huh. What a coincidence.

Thank you sending in for this absolutely beautiful ask. Seriously, It really made me so happy to write this. I have been agonising and trying to make myself write today but couldn’t, this realllly helped with that.  ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Since you said “Lines” I’m going to choose more than one. ;)  

They aren’t in any particular order, the numbers are to keep track, this isn’t a ranking, definitely not, that’d be so stressful to do, haha. 

Warning: super long and excessive screaming :D 

Fudge. I realised I have been doing this for like 3 hours??? It was like 3 when i started and it’s now. 5 something. Wow. It didn’t feel that long. 

1. This is from a published work, (and we burned, like Icarus), a Grindeldore canon compliant fic where I just explore their relationship. I love and proud of a lot of lines in this one, but there’s one line in particular that stands out.

Line: The curtain fell; Albus stood in victory as the world cheered.

Reason: It’s kind of hard to put into words, but I absolutely love how much layers it has?? Like. There’s so much different ways that this line could be interpreted and I love that. Especially where I put it in the text. It looks like it’s a proud moment for him, he finally defeated the Dark Wizard but...it’s not. Also: “the curtain fell” Gellert surrended, Albus never bested him. I have More Thoughts but I suck at writing meta, so. I will leave this here. 

2. This is a unpublished piece of work, no title, a Sam&Rowena fic. It’s a cute thing that came to me when reading this fic on tumblr where Rowena calls sam, wee!sam which sparked an idea where Rowena sees Sam’s childhood photos and calls him that. 

Line: He blinks, glances up from his book open his lap and she’s—smiling, not mocking, or flirty, or even sly, mischievous but genuine, small and so very soft. It makes Sam’s eyes widen and his heart turn in his chest.

Reason: A SAMROWENA FIC. Mostly that reason. FINALLY GOT SOME WORDS FOR THESE TWO. YAY. Ahhhh. Anyways. Other than that: it’s so cute and soft and i just love it. And also because I was cleaning when I got hit by words and it was unexpected and I absolutely love how it turned out?? 

Also because lol I might be projecting on to Sam about his lil crush on Rowena. 

3. Unpublished. Another samrowena fic! because I’m super proud of these, I have been wanting to write these two for so long and finallly did!! No title, a canon compilant missing scene in 14.07 or .08 based on that line where Sam is like I called Rowena. 

Line: And she wonders what the problem is this time—Castiel? Or perhaps, Dean? Now that would be a delight. 

Reason: It was so fun to write, even cracked a smile and lil laugh. Also I think that i captured Rowena’s personality in here, which makes me super proud. 

4. Published! Bruised, A Jack fic into his thoughts when he escapes the  ma’lak box. (For some reason, I really love writing about this time.) Line: Jack can hear the Devil and knows what being buried alive feels like, knows how small, dark, cold spaces can kill you slowly without you dying at all.

Reason: So proud of this one. Especially the “can kill you slowly without you dying at all” *Incoherrant noises* Fudge. It’s soo good. And such an impactful ending. Just. I freaking love it. Gives me a lil chills everytime I read it. 

5. Published! Do titles count?? Because I’m going to choose one. It’s a Merlin canon compilant (again) fic that kind of looks at Merlin&Morgana’s relationship from Merlin’s view. It was absolutely, totally unexpected. Didn’t know where it came from, but I love it. 

we smiled, not knowing of the storm that would take everything (the storm that was us)

Reason: Okay, so. I was a bit stumped on the title, nothing was coming to mind. Reread it a few times, browsed through my sideblog to find some quotes... couldn’t find the One. So I was like first thing that comes and it was this?? and IT FITS SO PERFECTLY. I was agonising over if I should do the “us” pronoun or change it to a “me”. Still don’t know which is better, I’m leaning towards “Me” now. Anyways, wow. I’m still shocked at it freaking fits this fic so well. Perfectly sums up my fic.  Morgana and Merlin were such good friends and I looove how their relationship took a down fall. I’m weak for the FriendstoEnemies thing and I think that I caught this hear. How no one could have known that Morgana and Merlin would both be responsible for that Tragedy. And by no one, im including myself too.

6. Published! Another title one from another Merlin fic. Haha, seems like my Merlin Fic Titles are Such That Good. It’s that one from the Merlin kills himself, post-canon.

even the stars go cold eventually Reason: Apart from it being absolutely perfect for my fic, haha, it didn’t take much time for me to choose a title for it and because I love writing about stars and this particular one sticks with me. Especially with how it just goes so well with this fic. 

7. Published! A severus-centric fic, Cold feet, where I do a kind of character study on him in that era after the first war. This fic is a super messy but ahh, I love it very much. This one was so hard to choose because i’m proud a LOT of lines in here. I just love writing him. 

Line:  (It's a metaphor. It's a foreshadow. There is no clean break, there's jagged wound where his fist meets his reflection. A mess of blood and glass on the floor, fractions of his reflection as he steps over it. It will never go away.  The scar and the blood stains. It's easy covering it up, cleaning away. No one else knows. All it takes is a swift movement of a wand, a whispered spell. But - you will remember. You won't forget -- can't forget.) Reason: The layers?? I freaking love stuff like that. 

8. Unpublished. Hinny fic. literally the only line I have in this WIP. Thinking it’s in HPB where they started to date? Quidditch practice. Inspired by an art I saw here in Tumblr. 

Line: Harry grins as he catches her eyes from across the field, a burst of warmth  in his chest. Always seeing Ginny made him inexplicably happy. 

Reason: First ever hinny thing that I wrote! Also because I just love writing about Harry being absolutely smitten and in love with Ginny. 

9. Unpublished. A 8.19 deanbenny fic about that part where Dean calls Benny to ask him of a favour. 

Line:    Cut that out now, Benny interrupts You can tell me more when I get to where you are. You don’t sound...so good, brother.

Reason: I can HEAR this in Benny’s voice. Also ahhh, that last part with the eclipses. *Incoherrent noises* Benny’s so concerned about Dean when Dean is the one who’s going to ask Benny to kill himself to go back to Purgatory, a place the he wanted to escape, to get his brother that was hell-bent on killing him. Which seems like a totally Benny thing to do, even if Benny doesn’t know that yet. He’s got some suspicion that *this favour* is not going to be great for him. 

10. Unpublished. That  Heaven Jack & Kelly fic i mentioned when talking about Current WIPs. Aka: me making on that promise of writing fics about them because there’s BARELY any. 

I’m really excited to write this one, i have ideas on what to put in there which are going to be so fun to write. 

This was hard to choose, because I love almost everything I’ve written so far. 

...Damn it. I was supposed to be choosing a line, but apparently I’m writing now. OH. I just fixed a problem I had!! 

Line:  She’s here, not alive, but not dead either like before, cold and laid out on the bed. She’s moving, smiling at him, like—in that video. Except he can reach out and touch her. Feel her warmth, her heartbeat as she envelopes him in a hug. 

Reason: The line I just re-wrote. Okay, i freaking adore it. It really goes for my heart. It’s the first ever time that Jack’s hugged his mom. I AM SO HAPPY FOR HIM. Oh gosh. It’s such a special moment. There’s some parts to here that I want to add and change but I do really love how it is now. Jack’s thought process---FUDGE. Damn it. I had a new thought to add: that moment where he sees the shifter change into his Mom. I forgot about it. 

11. Unpublished. Can’t believe I FORGOT about this one. It’s that SPN Deathfic where Dean carrying Sam’s dead body everwhere with him, that one that I was screaming about on here.

Line:  Woah, woah. He barks out laugh as the body slumps heavy over him and he stumbles. Says, Easy big guy and smiles again, quietly. Fond. Threading a hand in the hair. Sam. Sammy. Holds and breathes for a moment.

Reason: *Incoherrant screaming* I love, love how I wrote this?? Like. Wow. I captured Dean so well?? Just. Mindblown that I wrote this. If...I were to rank these, not that I am, this would deff be in the top half. 

The basis of the fic: Sam’s dead, but Dean doesn’t want to let go; he’s in denial. And this moment. It really captures that. AND ahhhh. DEAN. It’s such a Soft moment but so SAD because Dean, HES DEAD. THATS NOT YOUR BROTHER, STOP MAKING ME WANT TO CRY. Fudge. Sorry, I just have a lot of feelings about this one. Still can’t believe I FORGOT about it. ...Damn, I really want to write and edit this one now. 

12. Unpublished. That klelijah fic I was on about where I Have No Idea What This Is About Except HARD DESCISIONS AND SUFFERING. Lol, it’s the title of the Doc.  Funny thing: This was actually inspired by you. Well, the forhead part I mean. In that fic of yours, the s3 era flashback. "Did his brother not remember? Had he forgotten that bloodstained morning in the forest, the touch of Elijah’s forehead against his? Had he forgotten their hands clasped together, warm and covered in grave dirt? Had he forgotten every day since, with Elijah by his side?" - quoting this here because I love it so much. 

Line:  “Brother,” He says, the word said as if it pains him, and it does, bites heavy into his tongue, draws blood. Nothing he can’t heal. Pulling Niklaus down closer to him, pressing their foreheads together in an echo of a memory, a promise, his hand tight on Niklaus’ neck, he begs. “Don’t make me do this. Please.”

Reason: *Incoherrent noises* tHe LaYErS. Ahhh. I really love this so so much. Okay, so. No idea what this fic is about BUT. Brother: Word pains to say: Niklaus is his brother: draws blood: Nothing he can’t heal: Does forhead thing: “In echo”: Shoot, can’t remember the quotes but the forhead signals like no matter what, they’re brothers: And HOW AFTERWARDS ELIJAH BEGS ‘DONT MAKE ME DO THIS’  THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE. IM. ---- HOLD ON. FUDGE. I JUST CRACKED WHAT HE DOESNT WANT HIM TO DO.  FUDGE. FUDGE. IM SCREAMING. OH MY GOD. *GASP* IT GOESS SO WELL WITH WHAT I WRITTEN BEFORE. FUDGGGE. 

Sorry but FUDGE. I need a moment to sit down and proccess this while SCREAMING BECAUSE HOLY HECK I’M. 

I really want this write this now. WOW. 

Okay, that’s all for my fics. Since you said “works” I thought I’d also talk about my poetry and orginal writing, I never did before and I’m using this time to shamelessly gush about my poetry. :D  If anyone wants to check them out, I do have a side blog on here: drop.of.evanescence BUT also I usually post on https://theprose.com/Yuki where’s there’s so more. 

13. Published! Title: Laying in sorrow It was inspired by a pintrest pic. Line: and here we curl inwards with our backs bare

Reason: I LOVE this one. I freaking love how I worded it. I was thinking about anything when I wrote it but OH that TITLE. It came to me and I just realised that. In sorrow, in pain we curl into ourselves, well. Not everyone, but. Some people do, to hide from the pain and IN DOING SO YOUR BARE IS BARE WHICH IS LIKE YOU’RE VUNREABLE. Sorry, if i’m not making sense btw -- my thoughts are like that, haha. 

14. Published! Title: Where It hurts It was for a challenge on Prose where we had to re-write a piece of this other user, Undermeyou. and her WRITING. Wow, it’s so so so good. Btw, I actually won the challenge, which was awesome. :DD Fudge, re-reading this. I forgot how much I loved it. This one...was hard to choose. It has SO MANY good lines that I’m proud of. 

Line: It was Sunday 15th. The window was open and I remember the cold air on your face. I remember your smile. You red-faced, cheeks hollow as you tried to gobble the stars. 

Reason: ahhhhh, the WAY i wrote it. This whole thing is better as a whole, makes it’s impact and is wayy better when you read the whole thing togather so that’s why it was hard to choose. BUT OH this part. Freaking love it. 

15. Published! Title: Alignment of the stars. Inspired by a prompt: world in your pocket. And also another super hard one. Cool fact: that undermeyou person I was talking about earlier? She made a spoken of this on insta! It was amazing.  Line: Fifteen-years later, you can still feel the laughter of his soul rippling across your chest.

Reason: *incoherrent screaming* THAT ENDING. It gave me chills when I wrote and read it. IT WAS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO END IT. LIKE. WOW. I AM SO PROUD.

16. Published! Title: Untilted. Yes, that’s the title, I know. ANOTHER HARD ONE.

Line:  The sunlight is flooding in and it should be beautiful, how it spreads like honey across my red covers. I choke up. It's so beautiful, it’s terrible. I want to throw up. I reach my left hand out and I am somewhere else far away. In that place: another hand reaches back and tangles with mine and there is warmth and buzzes of bell chimes. Here: only silence and coldness meets my trembling hand. 

Reason: Shbjajxsa. THE DESCRIPTION. HOW I WROTE THIS. *INCOHERENT SCREAMING* it’s SO GOOD. Fudge. 

17. Published! Title: touching the world with bound, trembling hands (baby, you’re unravelling)

Well, it’s not. A line. But A small fic that I did, i’m so proud of it. It’s a small, little short story about a person going up and singing publicly despite their fears and made me smile and laugh. It was a surprise for me and i adore it. And yeah, lol I know, the title is cheesy. 

18. Published! Title: i swear, there’s a lesson here (somewhere) I was pretty stumped with my poetry here and tried a different style! inspired by some tumblr post i saw. it came out really well. ANND ANOTHER HARDD ONE. 

Line:  we’re pressed against the books shadows, dark things in the dark and i’m in love with you but i have never seen your face 

Reason: lol, at this rate I’m going to choosing all of my end lines for all of my poetry. THEY’RE JUST SO GOOD. AHH.  "and i’m in love with you / but i have / never seen your / face" CANT BELIEVE I WROTE THIS. FREAKING LOVE IT. I love the tone and just how it SOUNDS. 

19. Published! Title:  Winter’s smile This one i found lurking in my tags over at evanescentrain inspired by this post but....cant seem to find it right now, damn tumblr. 

Line:  how do you capture forever with your hands?

Reason: Lol, another end line. This is going to be a Thing isn’t it? oH I love this one, such an wow question...it gives me feelings that i can’t explain... just. makes me sit here in silence and think. What a way I ended it. Wow. 

20. I have SO MANY poetry and stuff that I’m proud of and want to babble on about, but.... I’m noticing this is getting really long so. I will this one my last. And since I’ve been talking only about Published ones. I will do a unpublished one!

No title.

Line:  It was a long, very long moment that I felt that he would take his sword to my heart and I would die or he would leave without another word, leave with a piece of me to somewhere where I can not get it back. A piece of myself inside  his hands. It was a terrifying thought.

Reason: ahhh, i really freaking love this. especially that LAST LINE. A bit backstory to what this is about: a person telling some guy about the evil they did, it comes out, randomly, because he says “you’re a good person” to them but they get annoyed, angry, say “you don’t know me” and....it’s like something is cracked open and they spill. First time they told someone their thoughts and what they did, wasn’t actually evil or bad. They just thought that. THIS PART. When I was writing it, it left like an impact on me. 

‘a piece of myself inside his hands. it was a terrifying thought’ DAMN. I FELT THAT. It hit me deeply. 

[kotokeke-kirishimaismybaby]

about this askgame,,, pal just answer what you feel like answering rn i wanna know all of em if im honest

hehehhe challenge accepted 

Asks for Fanfic writers 

drop a number and a fandom in my askbox and I’ll answer:

1.      things that inspire you hmmm music, other writers, projecting my own need for relationship lol

2.      things that motivate you uhhh idk I think just wanting people to enjoy their time reading fanfic, because fanfic have

3.      name three favorite writers omg I have so many… chonideno, shippeh, newamsterdam

4.      name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why I know longer have recollection of published works, what are book XD umm I’ve always loved JRR Tolkien bc of his world building, theme of friendships, and kickass imagination and dedication to his work

5.      since how long do you write? August 30th 2019 lol my first fic

6.      how did writing change you? Makes me feel like I’m good at something

7.      early influences on your writing any kiribaku fanfic

8.      what time are you most productive? Probably the evenings/ nightimes

9.      do you set yourself deadlines? I want to… kinda did once but got too stressed when didn’t meet them

10.  how do you do your researches? Mmmm google! And flipping through bnha manga lol

11.  do you listen to music when writing? Either whatever song is setting the mood for a fic or anime lo-fi beats playlists on spotify

12.  favorite place to write cuddled up in 9+ blankets in my bed

13.  hardest character to write tetsutetsu…

14.  easiest character to write Bakugou mfking Katsuki… bc self-projection probably

15.  hardest verse to write the nightmare that baku has in ‘I fall away and you don’t let me go’

16.  easiest verse to write Kirishima naming Baku in “a heroes name”

17.  favorite AU to write haven’t written any other than in the canon world

18.  favorite pairing to write kiribaku

19.  favorite fandom to write my hero academia

20.  favorite character to write bakugou

21.  least favorite character to write uhh I don’t think I’ve run into this problem yet

22.  favorite story you’ve ever written “you’re not some useless idiot in my life, got it?”

23.  least favorite story you’ve ever written “I fall away and you don’t let me go”… idk why I can’t stand that fic, it’s my most popular fic too

24.  favorite scene you’ve ever written post-sports festival spar between kiri and baku from Fated Red…. But that fic also has future scenes I’ve written that are just incredible imao

25.  favorite line you’ve ever written Kirishima gives a laugh and reaches a nervous hand to the back of his neck, “I wanted you to have a good time. Seeing everyone pissed you off already… so I thought you’d rather just go for a walk!”

Bakugou deadpans, “You thought that going up 80 floors is the best alternative for cheering me up.”

“Well you said before you liked mountain climbing, so I figured this was close enough.” >>>>> make myself laugh lol

26.  story you’re most proud of Fated Red, but mostly the unpublished parts I’m trying to bridge the gap to get to lol

27.  best review you ever got all the reviews from sweetonmylove make me cry happy

28.  worst review you ever got I’ve been blessed with such good reviews so n/a

29.  favorite story/poem of another author Heartbeat Thunder by shippeh is 10/10 my favorite

30.  hardest part of writing writing lol

31.  easiest part of writing when the characters talk for you

32.  alternate title for (insert story title) hmmm n/a I like my titles

33.  alternate ending for (insert story title) “you’re not some useless idiot in my life, got it?”--- alt ending has a kiss lol but just didn’t fit in

34.  alternate pairing for (insert story title) n/a, I basically only do kiribaku lol

35.  single story or multi-part story? Single?

36.  one-shot or multi-chaptered story? One-shots for sure… multi chaps are so freaking hard

37.  canon or AU? canon

38.  do you reread your own stories? Omg yes… and wonder how tf I did that

39.  do you want to be published some day? Hmm maybe???

40.  which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series I would have loved to see “If I was Stuck on An Island, I Would Bring You” as part of the mha two heroes movies XDXD

41.  one song that captures (insert story title) I listened to Touch by Kehlani for almost all fics to keep it soft

42.  do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind? Plan but so much changes as I write

43.  would you ever write a sequel for (insert fic title here) I want to write a small sequel to “you’re not some useless idiot in my life, got it?”

44.  do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it? All the time future scenes and I never know how to connect them to what I’ve already written

45.  share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet Kaminari mentions to Bakugou at band practice to “not hurt Kirishima” and he proceeds to be petty by pointedly aggressively caring for kiri… ends in confession

46.  share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet Ground Zero and Red Riot are an inseparable hero team since the beginning of second year at UA, where the provisional licenses extended to allowing student hero pairings on patrol. They have practiced defense and coordinated attacks, and a reassurance where they both know they are safe with the other around. Kirishima loves every minute with his boyfriend, as his partner both in love and as heroes.

It always amazes Kirishima when he’s surrounded by the flashes of Bakugou’s explosions as he moves around in his attacks. Kirishima sometimes tries to take down his villains as quickly as possible just to watch Ground Zero take down his target with his powerful explosions. They are beautiful and loud.

 But it starts slowly, the inevitable.

 Kirishima begins to come home from patrol with headaches and blaming them on fatigue and hunger. A low ringing sounds in his ears that sometimes continues even to the next day. Some days it’s hard to concentrate. And other days, Kirishima finds himself turning around in confusion with a question of “what?” before he realizes he’s missed what was said to him.

What didn’t he just hear? >>>>>> it’s a kiribaku hoh fic that I’m completely in love with and don’t wanna mess it up

 47.  how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time? 5.. and only two are slow updates

48.  three spoilers for (insert story title) “Faded Red” – Kiri and baku gets OFA, the emotion trigger for deku when he gets kiri quirk is love…, it’s honestly self-indulgent kiribaku slice of life scenes with an undertone of them being fated together….

49.  writing advice I need some lol maybe to remind yourself that this is for you and don’t have to prove anything to others who may not like it

50.  open question to the writer question I want to answer maybe? Will I keep writing and finish fated red and fake it? Answer is yes, eventually, hopefully soon when I stop being blocked and life gets out of my way

[tickfleato]

writing down my current structure/regulation method with ADHD, bc it occurs to me it could be helpful for other people as a coping method! this got long so it’s under the cut

so ive got a current method im liking! note that it works best with meds - my meds don’t work very well (or at least are super unreliable) when i don’t have structure, so i this is specifically meant to work with them. it involves task lists so i can organize my thoughts. the first one is a document i always have up in text edit titled ‘do it’ that i’m using as like... working memory/immediate task list. if i have a thought i need to hold onto, i write it down in there, if i’m trying to figure out what’s making my brain go YOU HAVE UNFINISHED WORK i write down everything i can think of, if i have a task i’m blocked w/ i write down all the steps to see if that works. i also clear it when i have new stuff, it’s not dedicated to any particular project but just what i need at the time

this is what it looks like right now:

you can see one working memory thing (30+ mins) which ive forgotten what i meant it for but it was used! and the rest is my current tasks in order for the costume i’m making. notably it has options for if the beginning task has a block on it! one of which is organization, and it also has repeat stuff - the glue gun takes 5 minutes to heat up and i turn it off when i’m done using it even for short periods, so i put “get ye glue gun” for every instance i have to turn it on.

the SECOND thing i have is kind of a more long term/broad version, in this case it’s all the tasks i have for the next 6-ish hours, broken down into steps (which are broken down further in my Do It doc). i used color to indicate priority. i have a lot of issues prioritizing in my head (hello exec dysfunction) but if i write stuff down, especially if i have someone else’s help, i can usually figure it out a bit! red is high priority, brighter is More (YOU ARE HERE) indicates next planned bit. blue is lower priority or optional. brightest red stuff is what i have to absolutely finish by the time i gotta leave for school

these also double as non-guilty procrastination fuel/break time stuff, bc when i have something i need or want to do but have a block on starting/am putting off i’ll write a breakdown of it. it may or may not be helpful but it makes me feel productive

what’s good about these is they give me flexible structure, schedule is based on what’s immediately next so i can work as long as i want & hyperfocus/flow isn’t broken, and i can take breaks whenever i get to a point i’m stuck. when i get to a break, i go back to my list & delete what i’ve already done & pick what i’m doing next. what’s good about this is any time i lose track of what i’m doing and just kinda stand there, i go back and look at my list and i can check in with what i’ve got done and what i need to do.

this method is great for when you get possessed by the spirit of arts and crafts at 10 pm on october fucking 29th and decide to make a whole halloween costume in a day and a half. it’s 1:24 am oct 31 right now and i’ve gotten most of a handmade paper mask done, gonna do an all-nighter and finish this babyyyyyy

i’ve come to terms with the fact that it’ll probably stop working eventually when the novelty wears off, but i can cycle back to it eventually. would love if my brain could stick with stuff but, alas, it cannot. 

[fangwhoria]

11/11/11 Tag Game

tagged by @kenny-d-juice I’m so sorry I’m only just getting to this, I was stuck in a redwood tree for like 2.5 weeks

1. What was the first story you wrote?

Well the first one I remember writing, or at least starting, was based on a dream I had, like most of my stories. I must have been like 6 and the story was about like a bunch of princesses/rich girls/sisters who all had the ability to pull things out of dreams and they lived in a huge house with a whole bunch of bedrooms so they could sleep at any time

2. What are your ocs weird quirks?

Delilah physically can’t go on stage without knocking three times on the floor

When Johanna gets too emotional her magic starts spilling out of her, making her hair and eyes glow. She also can’t not sing along loudly and badly to any music playing, which is why they now only play instrumental music in the diner where she works

3. What is your current WIPs vague aesthetic?

Dusk in a mountain town right after it has rained

4. Give a five chapter summary about the last chapter you wrote.

ah jeez, now you’re gonna just come after me like that for not writing? you’re really gonna do me like this? make me admit i don’t remember the last chapter i wrote? im gonna fill your bones with bees

5. If your main OC had to be friends with a mutuals OC, which would it be?

I think Johanna would get along with @nkta-ink‘s OC, Kai Fen

6. What is yoyr favorite genre?

Urban/Modern fantasy

7. If you had to pick a classical novel to twist, which would it be and why?

Hmmmmmm well I would say Pride and Prejudice just cuz I love it but Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies already exists and there’s really no way for me to top that soooo I really have no idea

8. How many unfinished WIPs do you have?

oh okay i see how its gonna be, you really are just trying to expose me today kenny, huh? I have so many unfinished WIPs I don’t even remember most of them. I have left a mountain of barely started and half finished, decaying stories in my wake and I can’t even be bothered to remember the names of the characters. I’m a monster. Are we happy now?

9. If you had to resurrect one of your dead characters, which would it be an why?

Okay confession: I literally cannot bring myself to kill characters, at least permanently. If I remember correctly, I’ve only ever killed characters for a resurrection plotline, i.e. Delilah

10. Which OC are you most like in your WIP?

Definitely Johanna. I really started developing her last year while coming out of a pretty major depression, and she was sort of my outlet for a lot of the things I was goung theough, I projected a lot on her. Of course she’s different now, but there’s still more me in her than in the others

11. Which famous author inspires you most/is your muse?

Well Rick Riordan has inspired me a whole lot, and still does to this day. I also grew up on Neil Gaiman cuz my dad used to read The Graveyard Book to me and my brother before we went to bed, so I’d say both of them influenced my writing a lot

tagging: @nkta-ink @inexorableblob @fluffythewritingplant @vasilisapeadarsan @writer-jessicac

im not gonna tag 11 people or write 11 questions cuz im lazy but you can just do these 11, and I tag anyone who sees this!

[l0chn3ss]

I got tagged by @happyisahabit, a space fool, a pumpernickel, a baker who has yet to give me baked goods, please give me a cupcake

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

because anabell is love and anabell is life

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)

uh... good question

seems like Fleeting has the most reviews and faves with a STAGGERING 26 reviews HAHAHAH

3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

@xwynn sheds a tear every time but i goddamn love it

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

Yeah dude @fluffypuppy77 and @quantamtheory1 for sure, something about seeing them warms my heart tbh. and then those i can’t find on tumblr but are active on ffnet are “Whispered Winters” and “8YearsOfMaka”

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

i’ll be real, i haven’t read much fanfiction lately, but if you force me to put a name on something then i’d say any of @happyisahabit‘s works

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

they’re pretty much outdated and irrelevant now

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

mythology, fantasy, supernatural, fae, witchy, magical; because i always return to my roots

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

listen, im thankful the maker of this ask game put where you can find it, but i can’t be arsed to check xD

5 mins later: i found it, but look im so pleased Total views to Profile Page : 1,881 that’s a beautiful number. a really good number. a mirrored, symmetrical number. i like that shit. NO ONE ELSE VIEW MY PROFILE FROM NOW ON. IF THAT NUMBER CHANGES I’LL CRY.

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

I’ve always wanted to write obiyuki or like z.//e-ki or rusa the og ship id die for, but, one is too old shit, two im not quite there with character understanding and world competence yet but soon i’ll show up, and three the fandom is crazy and i wouldn’t touch it with a 10 meter pole. guess which.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

to echo liz, FINISHING MY WIPS???? and also writing cute smooches would be cool tho, but im too busy writing angst for that

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

i feel attacked by question eleven and i don’t like it’s tone.

12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

69 stories on ffnet :) hehehehehehehehehe 69. + 1 cuz i posted one more a couple of days ago. i think there’s a disproportionate amount of unfinished fics to finished fics there too. it’s like schrodinger's cat at this point to my poor subcribers: am i gunna post a new fic or update an old one? if i don’t post you’ll never find out

@rebornfromash​ look hehehe 69

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

don’t.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i have sticky notes, note cards, notebooks, dump docs on both google drive and word doc and notes on the iphone, slipped pieces of papers jammed into books, and friends who i just burst in and go “hi i have an idea and im going to use the ctrl f function to document my shit”

if i keep it solely in my head then it becomes lost and no longer a concept

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yes i have :) good stories, better partners

16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?

i think my very first time i ever went on the site was caused by @roni-westbrook, a dramione fic called harmony

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?

nah

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Thirsty Monsters From The Loch. Sip Sip Bish.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

one day i took at look at myself, and i went, “are you ready to truly become fandom trash?” and an answer came almost immediately, “hell yeah”

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Write. For. Your. Self.

i can’t say that enough because if you decide to let your audience dictate what you write and how well you write and how you feel about your writing due to the lack of reception or lots, you’re just entering a world of hurt. one day you may feel great about your writing because you got over a hundred notes, only to realize that you get at most about 30 for a popular ship and good idea sometimes and can’t figure out why. one day you may feel fabulous about your fic you worked hard on and love what youve done with it, only to see no one else cared. i’ve seen so many friends in pain from this, and i know that pity reblogs and reviews from me are only going to solve a problem in the moment and not in the long run.

you gotta be your own number one fan, realize who youre writing for and why youre writing. and alternatively if you write something for just a remote group of friends or even just one person as a gift, then please realize that their response and reaction will mean more to you than hundreds of others who simply stumbled upon it. ok?

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot the skeleton most of the time, but then let the writing dictate where it’s going to go next. yeah you heard it here folks, my plot writes itself, because that’s how you get a realistic and non forced narrative

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

wow have y’all ever read that shit fic from 2015 that people took way too seriously? but that’s really it, im truly lucky

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

A C T I O N

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

this is a call out post and i don’t like this.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

number twenty four and number twenty five are conspiring against me and i feel attacked

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Absolutely not because I either do 8K in a night or 10 words in a month and there’s zero ground inbetween

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

both yes and no because i’m extremely lucky to have been able to have a great running start in 2015, but i think i plateaued as an author in terms of quality

28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Fleeting is still by far my favorite story because not only is @captainpomelo a great person to work with but also i still think about it to this day, my goal for 2018 is to finish it

29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

shit.fic.of.2015.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

like, better, hopefully

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

lyrical writing esp when it’s 3 am and im listening to “i will survive” on repeat

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

not writing passive voice

33. Why do you write?

it looked fun, and boy was i wrong. it’s suffering.

Lemme get those tags in shout out to everyone previously tagged plus @lucyrne @sabraeal @ilarual @sahdah @fullmetalgrigori​