#i have mixed feelings with the tickling doodle

[cloudymistedskies]

MariMui doodles I made based on the replies i got !!!

I’ll make the other ideas later !! I absolutely adore these doodles sm

Gonna tag the ones who gave their ideas: @silliestsakura @tinyperson00 @iloveubepancakes @risingscorchingsuns

Anddd those who like marimui content: @larz-barz @kimetsu-chan @thewinterpillarhashira @bunskero @ta-ni-ya @your-local-demon-slayer-nerd

[woso-soso]

Missing Puzzle Piece Pt.1

Mapi Leon x Reader x Ingrid Engen

Summary: Mapi and you have been together for years, what will happen when a new person makes an appearance in your lives.

Word Count: 3,639

Part 2

Any time words are Italicized it indicates another language being spoken, in the case of this story it will indicate Spanish is spoken.

You’d known María for years, having met when you were barely big enough to ride the fair rides that came into town every year. Meeting at a volleyball camp held at your town's community center, and while María thrived at it you found yourself cowering in the back. Shrinking further into yourself as you struggled to integrate into the game, finding yourself more so on the end of flying balls. Balls you weren't prepared to hit back, leading to more than one frustrated groan from the team you had been forced onto. By the time lunch had come around you were left to sit alone at one of the tables set up, that was until a wild haired girl came bounding over. A smile wide across her face as she sets her lunch down at the seat across from you. You hadn’t caught her name at introductions, having been more focused on not puking on your shoes than learning anyone's names.

“I’m María,” she said, her mouth full of food. “But everyone except my mama calls me Mapi.” 

You stare at the strange girl in front of you, her arms covered in doodles. Many of them being extremely detailed, maybe the two of you would have something to talk about after all. “I’m Y/N,” you whisper hoping the much louder girl will be able to hear you. 

“So why are you here Y/N, I mean not to be rude but like you seem to hate it,” Mapi remarks not looking up from the food in front of her as she continues to shovel it into her mouth at a speed that was honestly impressive. 

“My papa, he got the dates mixed up when registering. I was supposed to be at the art camp next week but now I’m stuck here instead.” You answer somberly. Your papa was doing his best, becoming a single parent suddenly hadn’t been the plan and the two of you took it in stride together. Even when he did mess up, at least he was trying. 

“So you like art,” Mapi’s interest piques as she finally slows down to look up at you. You nod softly as you pick at the simple sandwich in front of you. Something you had thrown together that morning because your papa had forgotten to pack lunch the night before. “What do you like to do?”

“Well, I like drawing. My papa just got me a ton of new pencils to try. But I also really like taking pictures. I have this film camera at home, papa says when it's full we can send it off to get them developed. Apparently it's a long process.” The camera had been something your therapist had suggested, she thought it would benefit your dad to see what piques your interest. Helping get inside your mind since getting you to talk was a challenge. “Do you like drawing,” you inquire hesitantly, looking again at the intricate doodles that covered Mapi’s arms. 

“I love drawing, my mama says I get ink everywhere but I like drawing on my arms. At least then I get to see them all the time.” Mapi’s answer intrigues you. You could see the cap of a ballpoint pen stick out the top of her shirt having been clipped inside to attempt to conceal it. 

“I like that,” you state, a soft smile crossing your face as you look Mapi in the eyes. Her own large smile somehow getting larger. 

“Come here,” Mapi says suddenly, “would you like some drawings of your own.” You nod cautiously, moving around the table to sit next to the taller girl. Wiping her hands on her shorts before grabbing the ballpoint pen. “Here, stretch out your arm,” her hand gently takes your forearm, extending it across the table so it lays flat palm up. The pen tickles, but quickly you grow used to it. Mapi works slowly, making small marks across your arm as you relax into the feeling. 

The rest of the day is less anxiety-inducing as you switch over to the same team as Mapi, her presence not only calming but protective as you were able to hide behind her. Avoiding any more unwanted contact with volleyballs. When your papa comes to get you you can see him eyeing the ink marks across your skin, a relieved smile crossing his face as he watches you wave to Mapi her matching ink marks clear on her skin. 

“So did you make a friend today?” He questions cautiously. 

“I think I did papa,” a bright smile appearing on your face for the first time in a long time. 

“You got in!,” Mapi shouts gleefully, her arms wrapping around your body. The letter grasped tightly in your hand as happy tears trail down your cheeks. 

After meeting Mapi the two of you quickly became tightly bonded. Spending many evenings camped out in each other's bedrooms exploring different art mediums, a football game usually playing in the background as you talked softly. Mapi had always encouraged your photography, she insisted that while you were one for few words your photos always told a story. It was because of her that you got up the courage to apply to art school, the same art school Mapi had gotten into and while she chose to focus on football and not attend you knew it was still the best place for you. 

“I did it, I can’t believe I did it,” you mumble into her shoulder. Your tears leaving a damp spot on her shoulder. 

“I knew you could do it, your mama would be so proud,” Mapi whispers softly, her hand stroking your hair. A new wave of tears starting at the thought of your mama. She had been gone for so long yet it felt like just yesterday she had been showing you her own camera, a camera locked up safely in the attic. 

You pull away from Mapi’s warm embrace slowly, your arms staying connected around her neck. Your stomach twisting as you stare into her eyes, you knew you had feelings for her. It would almost be weirder if you didn’t, the two of you had been inseparable since you were small. You had been there for her through hundreds of football games where she dominated over the boys and she had been there for you while you displayed your photographs at various school events. She knew you front and back, like a book she had read a million times and you knew her the same. Before you can even think about what you're doing you lean in, Mapi making no move to pull away as your lips connect. 

Mapis lips are slightly chapped, yet taste like strawberry as if she had just applied chapstick. Her arms tighten around you, pulling you in closer as the kiss becomes more frantic. The pent up attraction between the two of you coming out full force. The sound of your front door closing being the only thing to snap the two of you apart. Your face most certainly flushed bright red as you stare at the carpeted floor under your feet. 

“I’m sorry,” you breathe, quickly wiping your face clean of any chapstick. The strawberry scent lingering. 

“Why?” Mapi asks quietly, leaning back on your bed. Watching you as your brain races a mile a minute. 

“I shouldn’t have just jumped you like that, I just… I assumed things and I’m sure they aren’t correct,” your voice cracks as you try to keep from crying. Embarrassment is clear on your face with your blazing red cheeks. 

“How do you know,” Mapi asks. 

“How do I know? Because come on Mapi look at you and look at me, it's silly to think we could be anything more than friends.” You mumble.

“Well firstly, best friends. Secondly, what do you mean look at you? You are the most amazing person I know, I’m honored you like me that way. I’ve liked you for a long time now, I just never had the courage to say anything.” The two of you sit in silence for a moment, Mapi’s words hanging in the air. 

“Really?” You whisper, turning to look at her. 

“Really,” Mapi says, her hand taking yours. 

The two of you are practically inseparable after that, wherever Mapi goes you are sure to follow. For years you worked at small photography studios, focusing on simple family portraits, weddings, and other parties. But by chance there was a day you got asked at the last minute to photograph Atlético Madrid's game against Real Sociedad. Atlético’s regular photographer had fallen ill and of course Mapi took this as a chance to throw your name out there. Sure some of her teammates were aware of your relationship but that didn’t seem to be a hindrance as you trekked out to the sidelines of the pitch, camera and monopod in hand. The game goes well, except for the occasional stray ball you stay safely tucked away capturing the high emotions of the game. 

“Did you get my good side,” Mapi jokes as she approaches, her cheeks flushed from having just finished a full ninety minute game. 

“Now when did you develop a bad side?” Your eyebrows raise in question as you continue to pack up your gear, preparing for a long night at home editing.

“Just checking, just checking” Mapi smirks, hands raised in surrender as she turns to take off back towards her teammates. 

While that night is long. You curled up on the couch as Mapi’s head rests in your lap, her soft snores reminding you how late it was, your hand gently combing through her hair as you edit the lot of photos you had taken. Only finishing as the sun begins to rise, a nagging headache forming behind your eyes as you close your laptop. 

“Come on love, let's go sleep properly,” you grunt as you nudge Mapi off your lap. 

“What time is it?” Mapi groans as you drag her to her feet. Her eyes barely opening enough to see her surroundings. 

“It's either very late or very early, let's not think about it.” You say as you push her into bed, joining her on the other side. Burying yourself under the covers, hoping for at least some restful sleep. 

What you hadn’t expected to come from the game was a permanent job offer from Atlético. They insisted they needed a photography assistant and that if you wanted it you were more than welcome to have it. It wasn’t something you even need to consider, quickly accepting the offer on the table. In the three years you were with Atlético you learned as much as you could, following the lead photographer like a shadow. Getting to know the coaches and players, learning where to draw boundaries with Mapi, you may be together but you weren’t about to risk either of your jobs because of it. 

That's what made it so hard to leave, when Barcalona came knocking at Mapi’s door it would have been stupid to say no. But the dread of having to start over in a new city made you nervous. You were already away from home most of the time, only seeing your papa a few times a year. You had finally established a career in Madrid, but at the same time you knew you couldn’t be away from Mapi. The two of you moved in tandem for a reason, you were two pieces to the same puzzle. You would rather put your career on hold to be there for her then be in Madrid, alone. 

Things fall into place easily in Barcelona, a job as an editing assistant for the men's team opens up only a few weeks after you move in with Mapi. Sure it wasn’t where your passion lied but it was something. 

“How are you settling in my love,” Mapi asks one morning as the two of you laid together in bed, the sun leaking in through the slightly open curtains. Her hand tracing shapes along your spine. 

“It’s okay, I wish I was with the women's team but it's okay, it's a start.” You knew deep down your only actual chance to work with the women's team would be if someone leaves, and who would leave working for the most successful team in the league. 

“It will happen one day, they will see just how talented you are and they won't be able to deny you the  job you want.” You appreciated Mapi’s optimism, she had always been your biggest cheerleader. Reassuring you throughout the years as the two of you grew and changed with one another. 

“Thank you my love, we can hope, but let's not get them too high.” You whisper softly, tracing the tattoos that cover Mapis arms only stopping once your alarm interrupts your morning peace. 

The two of you go your separate ways when you hit the gate at work, her slipping off to practice as you make your way down the never ending hallways. Passing offices of people important enough to have actual doors, eventually settling into your small cubical towards the back of the room. A place you can tuck yourself into and hide from the rest of the office. 

This continues for years, Mapi and you continent in your relationship never really sharing it with others outside of your family and friends. Your social media staying very much private, especially as you start to get more attention from fans of the team for the photographs you take, having been promoted to the men's team head photographer. You were happy, sure you had hopes and dreams you were still working towards but you found yourself fond of the simple everyday routine that you and Mapi had formed. 

That was until you literally ran into a goddess. 

The tall dark haired beauty had exited the main conference room right as you were passing, not a chance for either of you to stop as you collided. The box of hard drives crashing to the ground as she grabs your arm to stabilize you. 

“I’m so sorry,” the brunette says quickly, a thick accent making it challenging for you to understand. Your limited understanding of English not aiding in the matter. 

“It.. is.. okay,” you stammer out, hoping you said something okay. The soft smile on the woman's face giving you some reassurance that you had. 

“I’m Ingrid, I just signed on with the women's team.” The woman you now know as Ingirid declares, her hand extended towards you. Your mind going blank as you gently take her hand. 

“I am Y/N,” you say with less confidence than her. 

“Well, it's very nice to meet you Y/N.” Ingrid declares, dropping your hand to bend down and retrieve the box you had dropped. Thankfully none of the hard drives had fallen out. 

And with that she was gone, your mind racing at warped speed. The tingle on your skin from where she had been holding your arm reminding you of the feelings that had coursed through you. A sudden wave of nausea washing over you as Mapi popped into your mind, your fun, sweet, goofy Mapi. How you could even think of another woman, one you don’t even know, one who will have to work with your LONGTIME partner. This sudden feeling of guilt settling into your stomach. 

You avoid the topic with Mapi for the next few days, a weird silence falling over your shared apartment any time work is brought into the conversation. You know she can tell something is wrong, you can feel her watching you as you try to keep yourself distracted in the apartment. Being barely able to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time this sudden influx of anxiety being clear as day to anyone who knows you. 

It isn’t until one late night when you get home from traveling with the mens team that you and Mapi finally talk. She had stayed up late, catching you as you snuck in the front door.

“Please, my love, come talk to me. Somethings wrong, I can tell.” Mapi’s words make your heart ache, looking into her eyes you see someone who so desperately wants you to open up. Something that you had never seen before, up until now you and Mapi had never had issues communicating. Communication was actually one of the things the two of you pride yourselves on, something many of your friends were actually stunned by when they first learned how open the two of you are. 

You take your time to drop your bags, sliding your shoes off as you close the door behind you. The pit of anxiety growing more into a black hole. Sitting down next to Mapi on the sofa, not daring to look at her. The two of you sitting in silence for what felt like hours, Mapi’s hand gently grasping yours. 

“What is going on in your mind my love,” Mapi whispers softly as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I… I um, I met one of your new teammates last week.” You swallow, tears pricking at your eyes as guilt eats away at you. “She bumped into me in the main offices,” you whisper looking over at Mapi as she watches you intensely. 

“Did she do something to you?” Mapi asks, a hint of urgency in her tone. 

“Nothing bad I promise, she probably doesn’t even remember meeting me. But… when she held my arm to keep me from falling I got this feeling.” You turn away from Mapi again, not wanting to see the look on her face. “And I hate this feeling, it's a feeling I’m only supposed to have with you, yet my skin burned where she held it. I feel like I’m betraying you even though I haven’t done anything.” 

You don’t dare look at Mapi, her hand hasn't left yours and she never shifts further away from you. But this feeling of guilt settles in your stomach, the fear that she will be angry at you for your unwanted thoughts lingers in the back of your mind. 

“Who was it?” Mapi asks after a few long moments. 

“What?” The shock is evident in your voice as you snap your head to look at her. Having expected anger, not curiosity. 

“What is her name? Who is it?” She asks again, meeting your eyes, a soft squeeze of your hand reassuring you. 

“She said her name is Ingrid. I think she just signed on with the team.” Sharing the only information you had. 

Mapi takes a moment to process what you had said, gently wiping the tears from your cheeks as she takes you in. “It’s okay,” she reassures after a moment. “I am guilty of the same,” Mapis' words shocking you. 

“What?” You hiccup. 

“I have had the same feelings you have had for her, I’ve been struggling with them to my love. She is… enticing to put it simply. I don’t blame you for feeling this way about her.” Mapi’s words both alarm you and reassure you. You had felt some security in knowing that while you held these feelings there was no way you were going to interact with Ingrid again. But knowing that Mapi also held those feelings, for someone she is seeing everyday, traveling with, showering with. A sudden wave of fresh tears form in your eyes. 

“You… you like her too. Were you ever going to tell me?” You ask suddenly, pulling your hand away from hers.  

“Of course I was, it's not like I would ever dream of acting on those feelings. I was worried about you. You’ve been acting off.” Mapi defends. 

“I’ve been acting off because I find this person attractive, the same person you apparently find attractive. A person you will be spending time with, alone.” A tone that isn’t anger but more so anxiety present in your voice. 

“I’m not going to ever act on it, I love you, that isn’t changing.” Mapi insist. 

“But what if you eventually find you are loving her? She seems charming, pretty. What do I have to compete.” 

“You aren’t competing my love, there is no competition.” Mapi’s words hang in the air as you process all that has been shared. 

But what if you want to share? The thought of Ingrid making your heart flutter, not in the way Mapi makes it flutter but in a way that feels like she completed the puzzle the two of you were pieces in. Your love for Mapi hadn’t changed, it had only grown over the years, but the thought of Ingrid felt like your heart was whole. 

“What would you think if I thought dating Ingrid would be appealing, if I thought she would fit in well with us?” You ask hesitantly. 

“Are you asking if I would want to open our relationship?” Mapi asks. 

“Not open, it wouldn’t just be anyone. Just Ingrid.” You respond, watching Mapi out of the corner of your eye. 

“I… I wouldn’t be opposed, not if she would be okay with it. She would have to want both of us, I’m not losing you because of someone else.” Mapi whispers. 

“I don’t think you would have to ever worry about losing me.” You say softly as you place a gentle kiss on Mapi's cheek. “Let's think of it this way, if Ingrid shows any interest we consider it. But we will not tarnish us by seeking it out, okay?” 

“I’m okay with that,” Mapi agrees, her arms wrapping around you tightly as the two of you sink back into the couch. A million thoughts racing through your mind as everything that has happened catches up to you.

[kxttqi]

ㅤ

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 .

t. kageyama x f!reader ✧  fluff ; swearing ; suga lowkey being a matchmaker

この 物語 で ⇢ you think black nails would look good on him

🎧 ✧ best paired with : movie by junny

ㅤ

the hum of the air conditioner mingles with the distant chatter from the inn’s hallway, filling the room with a murmur. you’re perched on the edge of kageyama’s futon, the warm glow from the bedside lamp casting a gentle light on his focused movements as he stretches his muscles, the shadows playing across the contours of his build.

“you know,” you say, scooting closer to him, “for someone who spends all day setting, you’ve got surprisingly nice hands.”

kageyama freezes mid-stretch, gaze dropping to his hands. he flexes his fingers a few times, as if seeing them anew. “they need to be strong enough for a good toss,” he mutters, his tone unusually soft. you wonder about the countless times these hands have practiced, each toss an attempt to defy gravity and reach perfection.

you lean in closer, surveying the ridges and lines on his palms. “strong, sure. but they’re also... delicate. like they could be doing more than just tossing volleyballs.”

his eyes narrow, a mix of confusion and intensity, a noticeable blush making its way up his cheeks. “what?”

a mischievous grin tugs at your lips. “nothing, nothing. but remember our bet? if you made even one bad serve, i’d get to paint your nails.”

kageyama’s face reddens slightly more, and he shifts uncomfortably. “that was a joke. and my serves were perfect.” there’s a stubbornness in his voice, a need to maintain his image, yet the blush betrays a softer side.

you chuckle softly, shaking your head. “perfect, huh? i distinctly remember one that was way too easy for the other team to handle.” 

there’s a flash of annoyance in kageyama’s eyes, but it’s tempered by a reluctant hint of amusement. “...fine. but no weird designs.” 

your triumphant smile widens as you reach into your bag for a small bottle of black nail polish. the bottle shimmers in the soft light, the hue of its dark contents mimicking that of kageyama’s locks. you place your worn-out notebook on your lap as a makeshift table, thoughtless doodles adorning the light brown cover. you unscrew the cap, and the sharp tangy scent of the polish fills the room. 

you take his hand, immediately noticing the warmth of his skin. his hand feels firm, and yet almost fragile. you guide his fingers onto the surface of your notebook gently, before applying the first stroke of polish on his neatly trimmed index nail. you giggle from the way kageyama’s hand flinches subtly from the coolness of the air as it came in contact with the wet polish, and the way he averted his ebony eyes as soon as you look up questioningly. the second you look back down, his focus on your face again. the slight furrow of your brows, and the way you bite your lower lip in concentration—it’s almost mesmerizing. he notices the small details, like a loose strand of hair falling across your forehead and how pretty your eyelashes look from this angle.

you carefully apply the second coat, the polish gliding over his nails with a satisfying smoothness. the brush swishes softly, and kageyama feels the bristles tickling his skin lightly as a spot of black appears to the side of his nail. it’s followed by a small “oh shit” as you quickly use a q-tip to erase the polish before it dried. the scent of the polish mingles with the faint fragrance of your light perfume, a scent he’s come to associate with you, comforting and familiar.

holding his hand up to the light as the final coat dries, the glossy black polish catches the golden glow from the lamp. “there,” you say, satisfaction evident in your voice. “how’d i do?”

kageyama flexes his fingers again, making him feel oddly self-conscious. he glances at your face, seeing the pride in your expression. it’s an expression that makes him feel oddly proud too, despite his earlier reluctance. a small “hmph” is your answer, but you knew his true opinion from the way his eyes held a faint glimmer.

the silence stretches comfortably between you, broken only by the soft hum of the air conditioner. you suddenly reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, your fingers slotted perfectly between his. kageyama becomes aware of the the subtle sheen of your nails. the polish wasn't a stark white or a vibrant red, but a whisper of color, an echo of your own skin tone. it wasn't a flat, one-note nude, though. a hint of rose shimmered beneath the surface, catching the light like a pearl held up to the sun. it was the kind of shade that drew the eye not with its boldness, but with its elegance. 

“look,” you say, holding both your hands up to the curtain of light. “we’re matching.”

kageyama’s eyes follow the movement, taking in the soft shade of your nails next to the bold black of his. he feels a strange flutter in his chest as he observes the way your fingers curl around his. 

before he can say anything, sugawara’s head pokes around the doorframe, followed closely by hinata’s expression of surprise. “oh? i didn’t know you were into painting your nails, kageyama!”

“i’m not, dumbass!” kageyama’s quick to retaliate as he snatches his hand back, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

sugawara chuckles. “well, if it’s y/n that’s the one doing them, i don’t think he minds.” “no! yes!” kageyama blurts, as you burst out laughing beside him.

you catch sugawara’s not-so-subtle wink as he leaves, dragging a protesting hinata along with him whispering something along the lines of “maybe they’ll confess and kiss if we leave them alone for a bit…”

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒:

you sit on the bench, heart pounding in rhythm with the squeaking of sneakers and the rhythmic thuds of the ball against the floor. it's day two of the spring tournament and karasuno is facing the powerhouse school, inarizaki. the referee's whistle shrieks, and the first serve lands squarely in daichi's arms, earning a chorus of "nice receive!" from the team. kageyama stands poised, hands outstretched, ready to unleash his signature perfect set. he hears tanaka's yell of "left, kageyama!"

but as kageyama glances at his hands, a flicker of black catches his eye. the nail polish. memories flood back - your warm touch, the scent of your perfume mingling with the polish, the warmth of your hand intertwined with his. his carefully constructed pre-set focus crumbles. the ball hangs in the air, tantalizingly close. his fingers come into contact with the ball far too late, with far too much force. the ball rockets past tanaka's outstretched arms and lands squarely on hinata's face, sending the spiker tumbling backwards with a yelp.

"what the heck, kageyama?!" hinata groans, his hand covering the side of his face.

silence descends upon the court. confusion clouds tanaka's face, daichi raises an eyebrow, and sugawara coughs into his fist, trying (and failing) to stifle a laugh.

"kageyama! what the hell was that?" ukai roars from his place beside you on the bench.

tsukishima chimes in with a smug grin, "looks like the king forgot how to set."

you really are going to be the death of him.

© kxttqi — do not repost, copy, translate or steal my works without permission.

[starlightazriel]

nerdy school girl x popular boy az au

this is a one shot but it might turn into something more if y'all want it to

warnings: smut, fighting parents, oral f receiving, talk of drug addiction, cherry popping, sophomore x senior, self harm mentioned

masterlist

wc: 4.4k

The bell rang, and here I was. Biology. No one next to me. The only one without a lab partner. I couldn't say that I blamed them. Who would want to sit next to me? And if they did the only reason I could think of was that I would do all of the work for them.

The first day of sophomore year, another step closer to college, to freedom. Though, it wasn't the parties or even finally losing my virginity that interested me. My college appeal was different than my classmates, I simply wanted a quiet place to study away from my parents constant arguments. I was sure they wouldn't last much longer once I was off to college, I imagined that I was the last bit of glue holding them together. I doodled on my notebook while the teacher drawled on about the syllabus and what we would be covering for the semester, and what would be expected of us in the class.

"Azriel, how nice of you to join us, please take a seat, and lets try not to make a habit out of being late this year," the teachers break in his long, rather boring speech caused my head to snap up. A blush crept on my cheeks when my eyes met with the senior boy he was speaking to, and I realized he was heading straight for the only empty seat left. Next to me. I scooted over a bit even though it wasn't necessary and pulled all of my things to my side of the table, I knocked a book off the table, quickly picking it up, my cheeks burned brighter at the distraction. Luckily the teacher didn't comment.

It wasnt like I didn't know who he was everyone knew who Azriel was after the stunt that he had pulled last year at the homecoming football game, he somehow managed to have 'Starview High Football Team Sucks Cock' plastered on every electric billboard in the football stadium.

As a result, the entire football team and cheerleading team and their supporters cast him out socially from their personal groups as one of the burnouts, though somehow he still had all their respect to some degree or maybe they just needed to buy pot from him. I didn't know. much about the extracurricular activities that most of my classmates seemed to participate in, but I had heard from the grape vine that he was suspended toward the end of last year for selling pills and weed out of his locker. He was absolutely gorgeous in the most dangerous kind of way, tall, dark hair, mesmerizing hazel eyes, tattoos, muscular in a way different than the other boys, mysterious scars on his hands and arms, the tattoos snaked over them rather poetically... I held my breath for a moment when he slunk down in his chair. His cologne mixed with the smell of stale cigarettes and weed tickled my nostrils. It wasn't as unpleasant as I would have imagined. I knocked my pen off of the table trying to make even more space for him it rolled under his chair and I silently cursed myself for being so clumsy, he didn't say anything, just picked it up and placed it on my side.

His uniform was wrinkled, sleeves pushed up to his elbows revealing his tattoos, and scars, he didn't wear the same loafers as most of the boys, skate shoes instead, how cliche. I wondered where the scars had come from, most of the school had whispered about cutting but anyone could tell that those scars were from something much more serious than cutting oneself.

Azriel didn't say anything, for the entirety of the class, or even look in my direction, I stole glances when I could. I had a feeling I would be doing most of the work on the joint projects, that I was used to. I didn't mind it either, it was a distraction from the constant chaos that seemed to fill my house. When the bell rang, I got to my feet, gathering all my things. "You any good at biology, butterfingers?" Azriel spoke, rising to his feet. I had to turn my head around once to confirm that he was in fact speaking to me. My face burned at the nickname, I silently cursed myself again for letting my stuff fall earlier.

"Yes," I nod stupidly, my eyes finally meeting his, they were twinkling with amusement which only made me blush more deeply.

"Good, this time I have to pass. Or I won't graduate," and that was it, he just walked away after that, leaving me there watching after him. I quickly snapped out of it, hoping that next time I could say something besides just yes. I had zero experience speaking to boys, not that Azriel was someone I would ever seriously speak to, not that he was someone that would ever even give me so much as a second look if I wasn't his lab partner until December.

-

Azriel didnt show up for class every day, many days he would show up late with some note from the office excusing him. I never asked him any questions, though, I was beginning to get annoyed because some days, we needed a partner and I was stuck playing both sides, the teacher had stupidly praised me saying that I was lucky that I was so smart and could handle both roles considering I got an imaginary lab partner as he had begun referring to Azriel. He had come in late again today, though I was grateful he had at least decided to show up considering the teacher was going to be explaining our first project as we approached the end of the first quarter.

"You know," I say, pushing my safety goggles up a bit on my nose, they kept sliding since my glasses were in the way. "In order to pass a class, you have to show up," I say quietly, his eyes snapped to me, and he studied my face, we never spoke unless it was necessary for the class, so this was new.

"Im here now, aren't I, butterfingers?" he asks, leaning back in his seat, glancing up at the ceiling before looking back at me. My nose wrinkled at the nickname, he never even bothered to learn my real name, probably didn't even care. He must have heard it by now, I raised my hand often in class to answer questions that no one else volunteered for.

"Well yes but-" I was cut off by the teacher who began to explain to us what was required of the lab project we needed to complete. Presentation in front of the class, working on it with our partner outside of school, no big deal just the bane of my very existence. When he was finished explaining and we were cleaning up after our lap, I glanced over at Azriel. "Can we do the project at your house?" I ask, I always went to the other persons house, I didn't have friends over, at least I hadn't in years. Not that I had many friends to invite. over. He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't usually have people from school over," he admitted and shrugged his shoulders, my stomach twisted.

"Okay, we can do it at mine," I said quietly and cursed myself for being such a damn push over. "Uh, when?" I ask, part of me hoped maybe he wouldn't even show up to help, it wouldn't be the first time I did a presentation on my own, and would he really be any help anyway?

"Thursday, after school?" he asks, I nod slowly, gathering my stuff together again. "I'll come at five?"

"Yeah, that works," I shove my notebook into my backpack before quickly scribbling my phone number down on a piece of scrap paper and I hand it to him. "So you can get the address," I clarify, clearing my throat, it felt suddenly hot again.

-

It was about 5:24pm when Azriel finally arrived at her house. He had returned home and changed first, now wore some sweatpants and a tshirt. He hated the uniforms they were required to wear. He was only late because he had walked, it was a pleasant evening and he didn't mind the walk, he did have a car, his past 3 years of high school he had been stacking cash under the floor boards in his room just waiting for the right opportunity to leave his drug addicted father. Dealing drugs and pot to his fellow students had come easily to him, apparently his appearance matched the job.

He stood on her very clean and put together door step with a bag of chips in his hand as he waited for someone to come to the door. It was a complete smoke show who did. Her mother was tall unlike her, wore a tight fitted dress right out of desperate housewives and an apron that was tied tightly around her waist. She looked Azriel up and down as many women did, they couldn't seem to resist their natural instincts, he couldn't blame them, he knew he was attractive. Despite the scars he had from his father's abuse, he knew how good he looked to women. He politely greeted her and couldn't even step inside before butterfingers came running down the stairs, appearing behind her mother, he knew her name, he just preferred butterfingers, and the way it made her blush before him every single time.

"We can work on it in my room," she says quickly and points back to the stairs. Her father glances up from his newspaper, grunts quietly and looks back down at it. As we walked up the stairs Azriel could hear him grumbling something to his wife along the lines of 'are we really going to let that boy up into our daughter's room.' In response Azriel only smirked a little bit as he followed her up the stairs. Her room was very girly, soft, baby pink and white, a tv, a desk, a beanbag, a queen sized bed with a pink quilted duvet and many pillows, a collection of childhood stuffed animals hung from a small netted hammock from the ceiling.

"Nice place you got here, butterfingers," he says as he follows her into her room, plopping himself down on the bed. She blushes, naturally, it seemed like she always did in his presence. "Thank you," she says quietly and sits beside him, her laptop on her lap. That's when he really noticed her, soft beautiful jaw, full lips, big doe eyes hidden behind those thick rimmed glasses... And her body, soft curves, peaked nipples under the tank top that she was wearing, sleep shorts that had ridden up as she sat down, it didn't leave much to his imagination at all. It had been about 45 minutes listening to her ramble on about the subject and the plans for their presentation, Azriel didnt help much, though he tried his best. "Can I ask you something?" he finally says, he didn't get how he hadn't noticed her at school the way the he did here, she lifts her eyes from the computer screen, meeting his and blushing. "Yes?" she asks quietly, her breath seeming to get caught in her throat at his stare.

"Why are you so quiet at school? You're rather brilliant," he says the last part a little more quietly, he wasn't exactly known for dishing out compliments aside from the usual sexy and hot. Here in her room, vulnerable, hair down, cheeks and chest flushed pink she was practically the definition of both of those things, in a more innocent kind of way than most of his female classmates.

"I just..." she looks away again, she couldn't handle his eyes on her the way they were, it caused a burning deep within her, one she only recognized from reading cliche blockbuster books like twilight or fifty shades of grey. "Im shy, I always have been," she mumbled, focusing on the project again, if he wasn't mistaken, her fingers shook just a little bit on the keyboard, she couldn't be this nervous just under his gaze, could she?

"Well you know what they say about the shy ones, don't you?" his voice dropped again at the last two words, he felt like the air between them was becoming thick, a tension he was sure she didnt recognize. Her cheeks burned an even deeper red and she shifted in her seat, she opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it at the sound of her parents arguing downstairs.

"Not even one day can they shut their fucking mouths," she slammed the laptop shut and rose to her feet quickly, tossing it almost carelessly aside on the bed. Azriels brows rose in surprise at her cursing, that was new. He watched her tight little ass as she practically stomped to the other side of her room, slamming her door with intention and she just stood there a moment, he back facing him. She whirled around, their eyes meeting again. "Im- Im sorry about that," she breathed out, stumbling a bit over her words, he could feel the shift in the room. It was like it became so much smaller, the thickness in the air, just the sounds of them breathing, watching each other. She was blushing profusely, fidgeting with the strings of her shorts nervously. "This.. This is why I wanted to do it at your house, we'll just have to ignore them," she averted her gaze, snapping out of the sexual stare they had both been giving each other just a moment ago.

He wanted to ask more questions, ask if it was like this often, if it bothered her. Azriel could sympathize with her, though his toxic home situation was undoubtedly much worse than hers, he knew what it was like to not feel as comfortable as you should somewhere that should be a home. "You've been teaching me this whole time," he knew that he was in control of the situation here, he knew he could change how the night ended, he knew he could leave here with her feeling absolutely blissful, barely even remembering that her parents were downstairs. He didnt know why he wanted to do that for her, she was just a girl, one of the wallflowers that blended in and did everything they possibly could to disappear. "I think maybe, I should teach you something now, could be a good break... A good distraction," his voice had dropped lower, became raspy with desire. It was like a porno scene, the tension, the cliche, he could see the headline in his mind 'bad boy devours virgin school girl cunt.' The thought of the two of them possibly tangled in her sheets within the next half hour made him blush now, he shifted, fixing his pants to hide his growing erection. Her eyes followed his every move, it was like he could hear her heart racing from across the room.

"Okay," her voice was barely a whisper, and her pretty little white teeth slid over her pouty lower lip and she bit down softly. Azriel grinned triumphantly, patting the spot next to him on her bed. She walked slowly over to her bed, swallowing hard, her mind was racing, was this really happening? It felt like one of those books she had read, exciting, dangerous. She sat down beside him just as slowly as she had walked over, her heart raced in her chest as he turned slightly toward her and brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear, she shivered at the touch, warmth filling her belly and spreading.

"You might be fooling everyone else," he says gruffly and reaches up with both of his hands slowly pulling off her thickly rimmed glasses, she blinked twice, her eyes adjusting, she could see him easily anything beyond just a few feet in front of her became blurred. "But with me, you can't hide, I see you," he lips his lips hungrily causing her to part hers, she sucked in a small breath, her heart completely pounding in her chest. She hadn't given much thought to how she would lose her virginity, she never thought it would happen before college though, the air in the room, the things that were happening, the way she felt inside... It seemed to be headed in that direction. He leaned over her to place the glasses on her night stand, their breaths mingled, noses almost touching as he did, he used the same hand and slid his fingers over the back of her neck, earning a shiver, before he tilted her head back, pulling her even closer. Then, he kissed her, causing her entire body to melt into a puddle of nothing beneath him.

Her first kiss. Her hands were limp in her lap but soon squeezed into fists as his tongue glided over her lip, begging for an entrance. Alarm bells rang in her head, she didnt know what she was doing, she was going to make herself look like an idiot. She couldn't pull away, it felt way too good. He deepened the kiss, his other hand brushing over her arm before finding her waist, his large hand covering it, thumb pressing lightly into her ribcage, a little moan escaped her lips, she ignored the embarrassment, she couldn't help it. She had only read about this, seen it in movies, never had she imagined that it would feel like this.

Azriel kissed her jaw and up her neck until his lips were just by her ear. "Can I keep going?" his voice is husky and warm, the sound travelled through her bones making her melt even more, she could feel slick wet heat in her underwear. Azriel knew it, he knew what kind of effect he had, he was starting to ache for her. He was aching to show her everything that he could do, aching to watch her let go and forget about everything and just let him take her. But he wouldn't do it until she relaxed, he could feel her nerves radiating off of her.

"Ive never done this before," she breathed out, he slid his fingers up, placing his hand on her chest where he could feel her heart hammering. "I know," he said softly, it wasnt hard to tell, he was sure a boy hadn't ever even entered this room. "But I promise, if you let me... I'll make you feel so good you won't even remember they are here," her breath hitched at his words and she only nodded, quickly, "teach me," she whispers and it was all he needed to hear. Before she knew it Azriel was on his knees in front of her, he pulled her closer to the edge of the bed, and sat back on his heels inspecting her for just a moment before he lifted on of her legs slowly kissing the inside of her thigh, all the way down to her ankle he slowly peeled the sock off and pressed a kiss to the sole of her foot, she gasped and fell back onto her elbows looking down at him with shock and arousal. He only smiled, repeating the same on her other leg and foot.

Take your time Az. A voice echoed in his head when he quietly cursed at the sight before him, he had pulled off her sleep shorts revealing cotton panties, completely soaked through. Her cheeks were blazing as she looked down at him with curiosity and lust, her chest rising and falling quickly, nipples poking through the delicate tank top. He couldn't remember the last time he was this turned on, this was more arousing than the time last year he had taken Mrs. Abott in the janitor closet during the school assembly. "Damn you're beautiful," he mumbled, wrapping his fingers around the outside of her thighs and puling her even closer. He pressed his face into the wet cotton fabric, causing her to moan quietly, her back arching into the touch.

"That feels so good," she managed to choke out as he slowly dragged his tongue up and down the wet fabric, licking her through her soaked panties.

"I know," he said back gruffly against her before sucking hard through the fabric causing her to cry out, her hand flying to her mouth to cover it. He chuckled softly before sliding his fingers up and slowly pulling her panties off. "It gets better?" he groaned quietly at the sight of her perfect little pussy, his mouth watering, it was like he could already taste her. She seemed to be at a loss for words as she watched him, lips parted slightly, face flushed with arousal and embarrassment as she was bared to him. He wanted to tell her the last thing she needed to be, with a body like this, was shy, but instead he simply used his thumbs on either side to spread her pussy slightly open and he leaned down pressing a soft kiss to her center. She moaned again, encouraging him farther.

Azriel licked around her whole sex, causing her to whimper and squirm beneath him, her hands gripping her duvet beside her. He kept his hands where they were, keeping her slightly spread in front of him before he dipped his tongue into the pool of wetness and licked all the way to the top, circling his tongue around the bundle of nerves there. He could tell she almost came right there and then. "You taste so good, butterfingers," he chuckled quietly against her before dipping his tongue back down, curling it up inside her as his nose pressed to her clit. Her back arched off of the bed again and she pulled at the duvet covers, her breasts popping out of the top of the tank top, he moaned against her at the sight of her pretty pink nipples peaked in the air. He drew his head back again, not taking his eyes off of her, he kept one hand on her inner thigh, thumb still holding her pussy open for him, the other hand slid up her body and he gently rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

She moaned quietly again, all control she had over her body completely gone, her hips bucked and he held her down, completely devouring her, savoring every last drop as she cried out quietly in pleasure and he softly licked her as she rode out her release. His hands slid down, resting on the top of her thighs and he sat back a bit on his heels, admiring her. She was looking down at him with such shock and surprise, lips and cheeks flushed, panting softly, pussy still throbbing.

"If you let me, I'll keep going," he says wincing a little bit as he stands up, the friction of his erection in his pants becoming almost painful. She didnt say anything, she only nodded quickly a small gasp escaping her lips as he pulled his shirt off from the bottom. He was muscular, tattoos everywhere, golden skin, deep v disappearing into his pants. He tugged his pants off, his long thick erection slapping his stomach as he did, her eyes widened, blush deepening. She couldn't believe this was happening, and really neither could he. She was too damn perfect, too damn soft and innocent untainted it almost felt like a crime to take her especially when he knew how young women could get attached after their first time and he had no intentions to continue anything after today, there was also the fact that they would be stuck at the same table once a day until December. He picked her up easily, pushing her farther up onto the bed until her head hit her pillow, and then he was over her.

His breath was hot and heavy, their faces almost touching. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he checks one more time, looking into her eyes, looking for any hesitation there, he saw only nerves and excitement. "Yes," she breaths out not shying away from his eyes this time. Azriel let out a small moan, looking down at her body, her tank top was now bunched underneath her breasts, the straps hanging at the sides. He bent his head down, taking time sucking n each one of her peaked nipples, causing her to arch her back up into his body again, the feeling of their skin together drove him mad.

Azriel reached down between them sliding his tip over her entrance before slowly sliding half of himself inside, he cursed and moaned softly, eyes not leaving her face. "You okay?" he breathes out, forcing himself to still a moment, she nods before he slides the rest of himself into her, filling her all the way up. She gasped, her eyes widening as she looked up at him, he grabbed the headboard, his other hand on the bed beside her. "Feel good?" he asks softly, slowly rocking in and out of her, he would have to hold back, she was so damn tight and wet... It wasn't the first virginity he had taken, but he couldn't help but think that this was the best pussy he had ever had.

"Y-yes," her voice cracks a little, her breaths extremely heavy, chest rising and falling quickly underneath him. "Oh yes," she says again as his pace quickens a bit, he gripped her hips tilting her a bit so he could get that spot and she cried out again, this time he covered her mouth, losing himself a bit too, forgetting where he was. His eyes were dark with lust and focus, his lip pulled between his teeth as he watched her come undone again beneath him. "Fuck," he cursed, pulling himself out just before he came spilling his contents all over her stomach and he collapsed next to her on the bed, breathing heavily, his body glistening with sweat. "Thank you- um for that..." she whispers awkwardly, the magnitude of the situation probably sinking in for her.

"Thank you, for letting me be your first," he grins lazily, his arm tucked behind his head. "Now.... Project?" he asks, her laptop was still on the bed, he was half on it now, amazingly it hadn't fallen on the floor.

"Oh, right," she swallows hard and uses the tank top she had been wearing to clean off her stomach, Azriel simply couldn't take his eyes off of her. He wondered to himself if he would have the self control to keep his hands off at school.

-

update it turned into more than a one shot see master list for additional parts

a/n don't copy my shit lol thank youuu <3 is it weird that I switched to third person half way through? was kind of just messing around with this one but if another part is wanted hmu ill get to it. lmk what y'all think xxxxxxxxxx

[cookie-crumblr]

The smell of smoke

Innocent F! Reader x M!Yandere Bully OC

Part 1~

His Info: 🖕✨

Part: 1 2

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: !F reader, use of she/her when referring to reader, reader has a vagina, reader in a skirt, YANDERE, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, name calling (bitch, slut, ), BULLYING, non con touching-shoving stuff like that, non con exhibitionism, burning, hand gag, non con oral on m!, severe violence against reader, non con foreign object use in vagina, SA by ml!, sadism

“Ooof!” the wind is all knocked from your lungs as you slam yourself into something solid right outside your dorm room door.

“Want sum bitch!?” A tall, strawberry blonde guy shouts as he shoves you away from him.

Your poor body slams into a wall, you squint at the pain and at the same time a lewd warmth starts to seep between your legs.

A fist punches the wall above your head causing your eyes to shoot open.

“hah, this bitch thinks she’s cute or sumthin’” His other hand roughly pulls your skirt up by the hem, showing your little-white-ribbon-having panties to all his friends.

They laugh and leer at you.

“Oh, what’s this,” His fingers roughly press under your hood, “She’s fucking wet, what a slut. Trynna look all innocent an shit” he spits.

In one blink he’s roughly assaulting you, the next he’s leaving with his friends laughing about you on the way.

You fix your clothes as you stare after them and try to calm your racing heart.

At least you won’t see him again…

You make it to your class only a minute late, and find a seat open in the back.

While you doodle puppies in the margins instead of taking notes, that same guy slams down a book on the table next to you.

You glance up to his chilling smile, “Listen bitch, I know you want this,” He grabs his crotch, “but I’m not fuckin’ interested, gotit? so move.”

“Th-there aren’t a-any seats op-” you peep before being cut off-

“Not my problem.” He sits and leans back, his ankle crossing his knee.

From a pocket somewhere he pulls a pack of cigarettes, and sparks one, his curious and agitated eyes not leaving yours.

The professor walks in at the same moment “Ezra, put it out.” he says without even turning to look.

In that moment his big hand covers your entire mouth forcefully, his lips come close to your ear, “Don’t scream, or else,”

As you grunt out in confusion and reach up to try and pry off his hand, you feel the searing hot pain of him putting out his cig on your thigh.

The pain is white hot, searing and blinding.

Your scream is muffled by his hand, and tears prick at your eyes.

Nobody even turns to look.

You claw at his hand.

His breath tickles your neck, “I said~ Don’t. Fucking. Scream.”

Goosebumps prickle all over your flesh.

“Now yer gonna get it, bitch” he nips at your ear while his finger trails your jaw. A shiver ripples through you.

For just a second too long he gazes into your eyes, your heart beats thunder in your ears.

You’re a frozen deer staring into the headlights of your doom.

Ezra moves a hand to your throat and tightly squeezes. You strain to breathe and fail to notice him opening his pants.

he shoves your face down into his lap.

For a second you can breathe and you gasp, trying to take in any air at all, and instead getting a throat full of dick.

“Mmmf!!!!!” Your throat contracts painfully.

He pushes his hips up and your head down further so that your nose presses against his thigh.

You can’t breathe at all!

He knows it and rotates his hips, grinding into your face harder before he pulls you off of him enough to get some air finally.

That doesn’t last long before you’re shoved back down.

It feels as though he doesn’t even want to come. He’s literally just holding you there to torture you.

You get only the air he allows you.

Tears roll helplessly down your face, mixing with snot and saliva alike.

This lasts the entire class period. Him keeping your puffy lips pressed against his body, and only giving you air when you’re just about to black out.

It didn’t take long for you to just give up the fight entirely.

He finally lifts you off, his still rock hard dick bobs as you leave it, before standing straight back up.

He lets you drop onto your desk.

You let out a shaking groan, while you catch your breath.

“Not gonna give anything t’a bitch like you,” he stands to leave and spits onto your back.

You run from the room, to the relative safety of the laboratories.

In the reflection you inspect your bloodshot eyes, and the red spots on your face from the oxygen deprivation.

Remarkably, you make your next class on time.

Though, your heart pounds, terrified of the possibility that he could just walk through these doors too.

Thankfully, he doesn’t.

The rest off the day passes without incident but the memory stains you. It keeps flashing through your head. you keep sighing deeply, the air you’re getting not feeling like enough.

You’re zoned out while you walk to your dorm room, not even feeling happy to finally be so close to your bed, so close to salvation…

Everything good left in the world is torn from your reality completely, and utterly when your book bound arms slowly bump into the back of someone once again.

You know who it is before you even focus your eyes…

Your body shakes violently as you begin to sob again.

“You just don’ fuckin’ learn, do you, bitch?”

“What’s this chick’s problem?”

“Yeah, she obsessed with you or sumthin’?”

“Dunno. wha’ d’ya say? Ya obsessed with me, slut?” his head tilts as he smirks.

You continue to cry and sob louder and louder.

“The fuck? We’re talkin’ t’ya, bitch,” his smirk morphs into a snarl.

“I-I-I’m s-sorryyyyyy” you stumble over your words as you choke over your tears.

“Did I ask fur a fuckin’ apology?” He grips your hair and slams your head into a cement brick wall.

“Ahh haaaaa!!! Noo!! P-leaseeee!! Nno!” You plead desperately while you try and weakly push your body away from the wall, blood pours from your forehead into your eyes. The blood burns and makes you squint, your vision blurred and crimson.

He pulls you up to his slightly tilted face by your scalp, “Choose your next words carefully, bitch” his breath tickles your lips.

“S-s—sorr-yyyy” you don’t know what you did to deserve this. You don’t know what he wants from you. and you honestly don’t know what is going to happen now.

“This your room?” he uses your jaw to spin your head painfully around, “Get her fucking keys.”

His friends surround you both as hands grope you and fondle areas that definitely don’t have pockets until the jingle of metals can be heard.

You’re still sobbing and his hand is still grasping a fist full of your locks.

The one with the keys unlocks the door, and you all flood into the room, Ezra forcing you forward.

Your roommate wakes up from her nap in shock, “Wh-what’s going on!?”

“Get ‘er out.” He commands his friends, as he throws you onto your bed. “Somebody get this bitch’s clothes off. Now”

“Y/N!!!! Y/N, Oh my gods—Stop!!!!” Your roommate screams as the force the door into her face.

His eyes scan the room as he lights up another cigarette. He finds the first thing he can shove into your vagina, and grabs it.

You’ve been kicking and pleading for them to stop as they stripped you. “hold her down.” he says, and they do.

Whether you’re lucky or unlucky is up to you, as he holds up a wooden handled broom from the corner before snapping it in half.

“N-no!”

He throws the half with the sweeper away and comes at you with the other.

“Which end bitch?” he holds the thing up for you to see.

“ROUND!” Your brain at least works when it desperately needed to.

“Glad you’re finally fucking getting it,” The broom handle still struggles to go in despite how wet you are.

He shoves past where your body wants it to stop.

He shoves it in and out of you while his friends hold your limbs spread apart.

He pinches and slaps your clit, bruising your mound.

Your body convulses as you cum, Ezra shoves it in as hard as he can before backing up and pulling out his phone.

His friends continue to hold you as he snaps a few pictures of your body, with your pussy exposed, and a broken handle sticking out of you.

You twitch in their final grasps, before Ezra flicks his still lit cigarette at you, and they let go.

He practically rips the door off the hinges and he ducks to leave.

Your roommate rushes in after they’re gone and calls an ambulance for you.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

hi!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your hc about the Vees. I have a love n hate relationship with them.

But! I was thinking after finding out that apparently Val draws is there any possible hcs you could think of with this? Just anything really

Anyways! Hope you have a good day :3)

Awww thank you ❤️ I love these little bastards.

When it comes to Val and drawing, I like the idea that his skills always surprise people. This terrible man just takes a napkin at Starbucks and draws some masterpiece while waiting for his coffee, just after harassing a minimum wage employees and breaking a chair.

I don't think he's a trained artists; he has always enjoyed drawing but his father beat the shit out of him for any kind of artistry because it was "too girly", so he never had an opportunity to pursue it. But as a person with terrible attention span he spent a lot of time doodling here and there and in process developed actual skills.

Also I think he doesn't make a big deal out of it; he's self centred and usually shoves his every achievement into others faces but the idea of others seeing him as an artist with sensitivity that allows him to create beautiful things makes him feel weirdly vulnerable. And it carries bitter memories.

He draws Vox a lot. Especially during all the boring business meetings. All notes he makes are basically very horny doodles of Vox in different outfits and positions (truly VoxVal fandom worthy). Vox has mixed feelings about it because being the muse tickles his ego but at the same time, Val's imagination sometimes scares him.

[32bitterra]

Heya hi howdy! Hope your days been well! Anything you’re looking forward to you wanna share? Or any doodles? Any Headcanons you’ve always wanted to talk about but never had the opportunity???

I dunno! Mostly just wanted to say I LOVE your works and look forward to seeing your posts on my dash <3

Oh and, Hi Quentin! (,’

Helloooo! I've been alright. I'm kinda looking forward to when my sister leaves once more so I can play PN1 on her laptop and do Very Important Camper Research on the weekend, but that kinda sounds mean like I WANT her to leave lol. It's not the case.

I've actually been meaning to revisit/redo the previous time I shared headcanons when you asked, but I haven't gotten around to it. I basically took some bulletpoints from my "Thought Compilation" doc and some of my guidelines and observations got mixed in with what could be considered "headcanon" or "interpretation" or whatever. Some of which have been altered/changed due to better understanding the characters as I draw and observe/learn about them more, so that post has become somewhat outdated. This is also part of why I considered making a side blog or something, but I dunno.

ETA on that: Eventually.

Now for doodles. Anything I've done recently will be compiled in a post like I do monthly/bimonthly, so look out for that in August (or whenever I feel the time is right.) There are some things in there I think you may like, but I am not ready to share them yet.

But I do not want you to go empty handed, so I will show some fun things I call "absolute rejects." Some of which do not even exist anymore and the only proof they existed is from crusty phone pictures. I will also share some doodles I did not deem good enough to post. This post is getting long, so I will put them under a handy dandy cut:

This is from October 28, 2023. It's hard to tell, but Lili is the one tickling Raz's nose.

(November 13, 2023) PATHETIC.

(January 22, 2024) Older Phoebe.

(April 12, 2024) An earlier version of older Crystal.

(October 18, 2023) I showed my sister and she said she looked like a mouse. This is why anthro Tala is a mouse.

(October 28, 2023) Benny die lmao. I think this was a request?

(February 11, 2024) I'm not sure how to explain the context.

(February 12, 2024) Or the context to this one either. They are repelling like magnets.

(February 14, 2024) OK!

(March 7, 2024) It is my duty to Megaman-ify everything I like.

(June 16, 2024) ???

(June 17, 2024) I actually thought about including it in the June doodle compilation, but decided against it. I have a soft spot for very early Psychonauts fanart. This is me channeling my younger self to pay tribute to that lol.

Wait, I've got one more thing:

Hello from Quentin. I also want to thank you for leaving kind and enthusiastic words on my drawings! I highly value them and it makes my day to read them.

[skzingitup]

ALBUM REVIEW TIME 👹

This is gonna be a long one so be prepared!!

Today we will be reviewing Stray Kids’ new compilation album SKZ-REPLAY. comprised of songs previously released on youtube. They decided to bring them to streaming platforms, along with new solo songs for each member.

I wasn’t going to do this review because its a big album. But i’m bored and sad and SKZ make me feel better so here we go!!

FAM (Korean ver.) - 5/10 - I’ve listened to the japanese version a few times before. It’s cute. A little song to introduce all the Skz members!! Funky little beat. Not something i would listen to often tho. But a great way to start this album

Connected (BangChan) - 5/10 - All English!! Someone get this man laid he keeps writing horny song 🤨 2016 love island intro type beat. Kind if slays tho tbf. I really like Chan’s vocal tone. Although i prefer his other solo on this album.

Limbo (Lee Know) - 9/10 - Pop Rock ballad from Lee Know. Makes me so happy i get to hear his vocals so much more 😭 everything about this song suits my music taste. No complaints. Just *his voice* man has lungs fr. The way it just ends abruptly is genius. They will forever be stuck in this limbo with no solution or end. PERFECTION. I sobbed when i first listened

Doodle (Changbin) - 7/10 - well and truly noise music. Pots pans and alarms if you will. And for some reason it tickled my brain so well. MY LIFES LIKE A DOODLE MY STYLES LIKE A DOODLE!! I’m in love with the way he says doodle in this!! Changbin said with this song he wanted to make a song with a unique flow and style. And i think he succeeded!! But however because if it’s jarring nature, it loses it’s repeatability

Love Untold (Hyunjin) - 7/10 - now the articles lied to me about this song. It said it was hip hop with rock guitars. There was a single rock guitar chord before the final chorus and they it cut off 🧍🏼‍♀️ left me disappointed so my initial impression of the song wasn’t that good. BUT after listening again for what it actually is. An alternative hip hop song. It’s amazing!! Hyunjin’s lyricism is so pretty and he makes good tracks!! His vocal/rapping tone works so well with this style of song. However. I do prefer his other solos on this album. That YAEEYAEEYAEEYAEYA get stuck in my head fr.

RUN (Han) - 8/10 - I love the music Han makes so much. He always writes such relatable lyrics and this one hit. And the funky little sophisticated mario cart beat is so good!! I like that the beat feels like its running. It matches the name of the song!! I thought he sounded different in this song and it turns out he used the original recording from 2019 for this so it makes sense. He sounds younger. Writing and recording at a time where he struggled really come across in his voice and it’s really smart of him to keep the original track!! So much replay ability with this one. Its just so addictive!!

Deep End (Felix) - 6/10 - Now when felix said he was gonna do a song that had no rap i was surprised but then he said it was gonna be a song like glimpse of us but mixed a bit with lalaland. And he wasn’t wrong. He said said it would have an ASMR type feel to it. To which he was correct in saying. Now Felix isn’t rhe strongest vocalist in skz. But his development over the last year alone is so good and his confidence has grown in his voice and i’m so proud of him. With this song he managed to show off his fucking 3 octave vocal range. Insane. Imagine what he could do in a couple more years!! The way he harmonises woth himself is so fucking good. Anyway. The song is in all english and i cried 😭 its too sad to be repeatable but it’s so good!!

Stars and Raindrops (Seungmin) - 8.5/10 - seungmin working with Day6’s producer is always gonna create a banger. A retro/nostalgic sounding pop rock style song. Reminds me of Fairytale by Dreamcatcher. Perfect song to listen to on full blast while driving at nighttime!! Also Seungmin’s vocals!! The money i would pay to have this man just sing right next to my ear. 😩 so much replay ability here too!! Beautiful song!!

Hug me (I.N) - 8/10 - quick stop at the beach i suppose 😭 this is such a tropical funky little song. Ukulele song for sure!! Get them 2016 ukulele girlies on this one!! Jeongin’s vocal improvement over the last year makes me emotional. His voice is so unique and lovely and i’m so happy he gets to use his full capabilities now. Someone on twt pointed out you can hear when he’s smiling when he sings and they’re so right. And thats throughout this whole song. Gonna sob Also the sentiment of him wanting to hug us (the fans) in this song as someone who doesn’t like physical touch that much means so much 😭🥹 ILL GIVE YOU A HUG OH BABY!! basically i am in love with him, hand in marriage sir!!

#loveSTAY - 6/10 - I’ve not actually listened to this one before, lets go 👹 ballad!! Dedicated to the fans (STAYS) stunning vocals!! Skz don’t have very show offy vocalists but all their tones are so fucking nice to listen to and that’s so much better to me that being able to hit lots of high notes. It’s cute!! Ballads automatically don’t have much replay ability factor for me because i have to be in a specific mood for them but this is such a lovely song. Lovely is the perfect description i feel

Zone (3RACHA) - 7/10 - honestly, my fave 3racha track i’ve heard so far. (I haven’t dabbled in their pre-debut stuff yet, im too scared 😭) it’s a very classic rap song. The chorus is addicting. CANT YOU SEE IM IN MY ZONE!! The use of native māori words is cool too!! Māori fans have praised the pronunciation and correct use of them so that’s really nice to see!! Changbin’s gritty rap tone is so good man 😩 honestly a slay

Close (Han) - 5.5/10 - Pretty!! I am just in love with the instrumentals he produces, they’re so pretty and chill (most of the time) his rapping style is my fave in the group. Good pitch and flow and stuff. Very pleasing to listen to. And he has such insane vocals too. What can’t this man do actually?? 🤨 the stylistic autotune in the chorus makes it less replay-able personally. I’m not a huge fan of it when it’s on quite high pitched vocals. Just doesn’t sit well in my ears. But aside from that. A very lovely song

Streetlight (Changbin ft. Bangchan) - 9/10 - Oh how i love this song. The meaning behind it 🥹 Changbin wrote it in hopes to be the “streetlight” for fans who are facing a period of darkness and released it during mental health awareness month!! I love him ☹️ but aside from that, i will always love a song that has vocalist changbin in it!! Also it’s nice to hear softer raps from him!! Chan’s feature blends in so nicely and just adds an extra layer of vocals to complete the song!!

I hate to admit (BangChan) - 10/10 - Fuck. I love this song so much. The simple piano instrumental with Chan’s emotional vocals!! Makes me cry every time. I’ve been listening to it on repeat since it came out!! the lyrics are simple but so effective. His voice is just so €~*_=|€]+[=!| in this yknow?? His softer lower tone with powerful chest voice when it picks up?? Stunning!! HOW COULD I FORGET! THE DAY YOU LIED TO ME!!!!

I GOT IT (Han) - 7/10 - youtube diss track type beat 😭 also the switch up from chan to this?? Insane. Who decided the song order for this album!! But anyway. The song. Very much classic rap style song. Get to see the capabilities of Han’s more agressive/ faster style of rapping in this!! Would I shake ass to this?? Absolutely. Again what cant he do? Songs that make me cry and songs that make me shake ass, sometimes even both at the same time?? Genius fr

Miss you (Hyunjin) - 10/10 - oh how i love this song, his soft and swingy style vocals in this make me ascend to heaven actually. The acoustic guitar!! I love a good acoustic guitar in a song!! Honestly not much to say about this other than it’s pure vibes. Gives me the same feeling that Fairy of shampoo by TXT did!!

Maknae on top (I.N feat BC + CB) - 7/10 - this song 💀 its so silly. So unserious. Jeongin went to chan one day and was like “so i want to make a song about how i’m the one in charge and have you and binnie act as my servants/body guards” and i respect him for that. Goofy ass autotune but it works in the unseriousness of the song. MAKNAE ON TOP OHWOAHOH!! Changbin and Chan’s features work so well and yeah overall silly goofy song passes the vibe check

Alien (Han) - 6/10 - I wonder if he regrets writing the chorus in such a high key 😭 but yeah back to the same sort of style as close, this time depicting how he feels like an alien on earth as he doesn’t quite fit in and struggles with who he is as a person. Which fits in with Han’s own struggles with people and social anxiety. Honestly a slay. Made me cry, related a little too much. Again the autotune takes away replay ability for me. But it works better in this song!!

Because (Changbin, Felix) - 6/10 - VOCALIST BINNIE AGAIN!! A chill beat!! Felix’s deeper vocals mix really well with Changbin’s lighter tone. But the rasp of felix’s voice and the grit in changbin’s compliment each other so well in the rap verses. And the soft chorus ties it all together

Piece of a puzzle (Changbin, Seungmin) - 6/10 - oh pretty start!! I will never get over how much i love seungmin’s voice!! DONT FADE AWAY DONT FADE AWAY!! More melody to changbin’s rapping in this too!! Not much to say with this one honestly. Just a chill and pretty song!!

Wish you back (Han) - 6/10 - ah yes, the song everyone low key agrees is written about hyunjin on his hiatus 😀 pain 😀 another song that falls into the same genre as close and alien. But a bit more up beat that those two!! He really does just know how to make a nice song!! I WISH YOU BACK!!! I WISH YOU BACK!! the auto tune is a bit much for me in the song as well. But yeah great song!!

HaPpY (Han) - 7/10 - at this point i think we all have a grasp of what a Han song sounds like. Rap with some nice vocal moments, stylistic autotune and a chill hip hop type beat!! I love that he already has a distinct style that he keeps improving upon as he goes!! The autotune works better in this one too!!

Up all night (BC, CB, FLX, SM) - 10/10 - best song ever. EVER. i love it so much. Funky little tune with some funky dudes. Got halloween vibes (especially the MV) but yeah. It was the first song Chan produced as a trainee but just remastered and featuring some of his members. This coming after maknae on top with a 5 second transition is so fucking good btw. Happened when i shuffled the other day! Has a kind of salsa type beat to it but mixed with that trap/hiphop beat. Works so well. I will never get tired of this song. Even tho its a more relaxed song it doesn’t get boring. I DONT WANT TO GO TO SLEEP NOW, ILL BE MAKING A MASTERPIECE NOW

Drive (Bangchan, Lee Know) - 6/10 - ah yes, the song that is absolutely about driving 😀 this is such an unserious song for me too, it’s so silly. The autotune fits with the unseriousness like maknae on top. But yeah. Just two dudes singing about riding rough in the course of the night. RIDE LIKE THE MOTION OF THE OCEAN!!

Ice.cream (Hyunjin) - 9/10 - words cannot describe how much this song just makes my brain happy. They lyrics are sad tho ☹️ its about seeing someone who has a cold exterior as someone who is actually warm. Hence “i see ice as a cream babe” but in actuality they are just cold 😀 he had to go and make the trope actually sad 😀 but yeah. Relaxing r&b style song. I love it so much

Anyways. Thank you if you made it all the way to the end!! Stan Stray kids and Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!! 🫶🏻🎄

[griffintail]

I literally just had a thought-and I'm not sure which I like more. Techno brining either Phil's kid or his kid to the nether with him (probably when they're a little older) and a piglin gives them a courting gift. And they don't understand but techno goes protective. I just-the lost ones series has been so much angst lately man. You don't have to write this but at least it's a cute thought 🥰

Courting Gifts

Pairings: Parental! Technoblade x F! Reader

Warnings: None :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno had taken (Y/N) into the Nether a few times before but it was simply to cross from one portal to another. He never had a reason to interact with the life there, other than striders when he taught her how to ride one and ghasts when they were attacked by the vicious things. They never had a reason to interact with the piglins.

So, when Techno was running out of a few things and he had a few bits of gold hoarded away, he decided to trade with the piglins.

“Hey, I need to go trading but the village is too far out. So, I’m going to the Nether to trade with piglins, want to come along?” Techno asked (Y/N) as he came outside to see the young adult laying in the snow but her head on Steve.

“Sure! I’ve never seen you trade with piglins.” She got up and pet Steve before she left the bear’s side.

“I never have much of a reason to, I usually plan a village trip ahead.” He said as he went in with her behind him. “But, with the you know what Athena, I used a few more supplies than I should have.”

“Ah, right.” She nodded.

She was truly a girl of wisdom and Techno had thought the name proper for her when he formed the Syndicate with her and Phil. They both went to grab their gear for a Nether trip and Techno quizzed her before they left.

“What do we need for a Nether trip?”

“Crossbow for ghasts,” she patted the crossbow on her back, “gold as a sign of peace,” she held up her arms to show her gold bracers, “and a couple of fire resistance potions just in case. And of course, the normal armor and sword.”

“Correct.” He nodded. “I’ll deal with all the trading today, come on.”

Both father and daughter walked to and into the portal, capes flowing behind them and crowns glinting. (Y/N) walked beside Techno as he led the way to a bastion hold.

“Piglins like the good things in life,” Techno told her as he showed her the gold he had taken. “They’ll give you almost anything for a bit of gold.”

“So would you.” She joked with him and he snorted.

“You’ve been hanging out with Tommy too much.”

She grinned as she looked around as Techno went up to one of the piglin traders. Around, she took in the black stoned building with a couple of gold inlays in its stone foundations. They must like their gold even more than her father did. She supposed that’s why gold armor was a sign of peace.

Following her father around to a few traders, she quickly found out that Techno could communicate through their snorts and such while she didn’t understand it at all. She didn’t understand the bartering either though. Techno seemed to get some decent items with just one bit of gold but what seemed like nothing at all for more gold.

“How does their trading work?” She asked him as he moved onto a new trader.

“It’s mostly how greedy they are. Sometimes I can talk down their prices, sometimes I can’t.” He shrugged. “I don’t trade with the greedier ones unless I really need something.”

“How greedy were they?”

“They weren’t bad, you should see the ones that want to trade with ender pearls.”

“Would they trade with me?”

“Eh, some of them might try to trade with you to get a steal. Some of them might be kind and actually, barter with you.”

“Huh, do you mind if I sit and write some of this down?”

Techno chuckled lightly. (Y/N) loved to take notes of things she learned and documented findings she had never seen in the many books they both read.

“Ok, just stay in my sight.” He nodded.

She nodded before leaving his side to go sit on a black stone bench. Carefully putting her crown next to her, she pulled out her journal and ink before writing down what Techno had told her. As she was documenting, she saw a small hand going for her crown in the corner of her eye.

“Hey!” She grabbed the crown and pulled it to her to see a small piglin. “That’s not yours.”

The child shrunk, giving small snorts. Shit, they were adorable.

“You shouldn’t take something that isn’t yours.” She told them, putting the crown on her head before digging through her bag and finding one bit of gold. “But here.”

They perked up at the offering of gold before happily taking it. She smiled as they climbed onto the bench next to her, playing with the gold in their hands before trying to look at her journal, making snorts.

“This is my journal; I was writing down what my dad told me.” She explained even though she doubted the child could understand her. “I’m documenting things no one has ever written down.”

The piglin gave little snorts as he pressed close to her to just stare at her journal and she chuckled, tickling the feather of her quill on the child’s nose making them give a little snort of what she assumed was laughter.

“You should go find your mom or dad kiddo. I don’t want to be responsible for you.”

She supposed he understood some of her words at least because the little piglin got up and wandered over to an older piglin, tugging on their pant leg. Chuckling softly, she turned back to her journal, writing down a few notes that the piglins probably understood a bit of common language as she now kept her crown on her head, despite it being annoying that it would fall forward. As she was scribbling away, even doodling a piglin, she looked up as a shadow came into a view.

It was the older piglin that the small one had gone to and she smiled up at them.

“Hello. Can I help you?” She asked.

The piglin gave a few snorts before holding a golden bracelet to her. She tilted her head, confused.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I don’t have any more gold for that.” She said carefully, hoping the piglin would understand.

They gave a few more snorts, still holding out the bracelet.

“Um…ok?” She said confused as she stood, putting her journal away then reaching for the bracelet only for an ender pearl to shatter in between the pair.

Technoblade then stood there, towering over the piglin and giving a mix of a growl and a snort as he had a hand on his sword. The piglin shrunk before scurrying off.

“What was that?!” (Y/N) exclaimed in shock.

“We’re leaving,” Techno said as he kept his tall posture while walking back towards the entrance.

“What? What just happened?” (Y/N) asked hurriedly as she followed after her father.

“Not now, back at home.” He said stiffly.

(Y/N) was very confused but she followed after him regardless. He’d tell her once they got where they needed to be. It took till they got to their portal before he stopped, relaxing his tall stance. (Y/N) realized now was he had been making himself appear tall and intimidating as he gave an angry huff.

“The nerve…”

“What was that?” She questioned.

“A piglin custom.”

“What custom? Dad, I don’t understand. All I know is you terrified that piglin.”

Techno groaned as he took off his mask so he could run a hand down his face. He stood there for a few moments before looking at her.

“It was a courting gift.”

“A what?” She said shocked.

“Piglins give gold jewelry to women they want to court. He wanted to court you.”

All (Y/N) could think was that piglin was lucky he wasn’t dead.

“Oh. Uh. What would have happened if…you didn’t come in?”

“They would have tried to court you! I was not letting that happen.” Techno shook his head as he went towards home now, (Y/N) following behind. “I was watching you as I traded though and was trading for ender pearls when I saw him trying to give you the courting gift.”

Techno had practically shoved all of his gold at the ender pearl trader before taking the ender pearls, immediately using one to separate his daughter from the piglin. He remembered the voices screaming simultaneously, but he was acting on his own instinct as a father.

“Oh, well, thank you?” She questioned.

“Yes, you are welcome. No boys, no nothing.” Techno told her as they stepped into the house. “You’re still too young.”

“Dad, I’m almost twenty.” She joked.

“No. Boys. No, nothing.” Techno pointed at her, looking deadly serious.

“Uhh.”

“What boys?” Phil asked as he came in having seen the pair come home.

She had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

[matwith1t]

A/N: Back with angst 👊 Fair warning, this fic is pure angst. All of it 🔪 It’s heavily inspired by Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, and it’s the fic where I project my fear of staying stagnant in life (oops). I have a somewhat working outline for a part 2, but I’d love to know your thoughts!! Also, this fic has a brief smut scene, so if you’re not 18+ hop on over to my masterlist for something else !

Summary: Your long-term relationship with Mat brought you more happiness than anything else in the world. But one day, something in your gut felt different, an emotion that you couldn’t quite place felt off. And maybe, that feeling was the catalyst for you wanting a change in life.

MASTERLIST | LET’S CHAT 🥂 | Mat Barzal x Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, Smut, Swearing // WC: 11.2K // Angst

The sun felt warm against your face and the grass beneath you tickled your ankles. With the month of May nearing its end, the sweet smell of spring could still be detected in the air during the seasonal transition to summer. From a distance, the soft sounds of children laughing while running through the park tugged your lips upward into a small smile.

A sense of ease flooded your body as you laid directly on the grass with your arms tucked behind your head. The vital force that came with being outside in the springtime energized your body to the point where you felt your body produce more natural endorphins. You treasured the outdoors––it would always remain a sacred place for you––but as you laid upon the grass, an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach clawed its way up at a deliberately slow, and unwarranted, pace.

It felt like a secret message your body was trying to communicate with you, but you didn’t have the tools on how to decode it.

The feeling came in and out, like ocean tides, but you did your best to push it aside when the uneasiness surfaced. So far, everything in your life had been smooth sailing––everything had been going according to plan––so you never paid that feeling any attention.

There wasn’t anything in your life that you wanted to change.

With a deep breath, you tried to inhale as much of the fresh spring air as possible.

“Hey, sleepy.”

With one eye squinted open, you brought a hand from behind your head to shield the sun rays from blinding your face. And when your vision adjusted to the sunlight, you saw your boyfriend at an upside down angle. In his arms he held a blanket as he waved down at you. A smile instantly graced your lips as you shut both of your eyes, before opening them slowly.

As Mat shook out the blanket before spreading it out on the grass, you sat up, and stuck your legs straight out, “You’re a bit late.”

Without looking at you, Mat rolled his eyes, “Practice ran late.”

When the blanket was laid out on the grass, Mat sat down and patted the spot next to him. With a smile, you made your way to sit next to him. Your smile widened when you saw he already had an arm raised for you to tuck yourself into his side.

“It was a morning practice,” you looked up at him through your eyelashes, “It’s nearly four in the afternoon.”

With adoration in his eyes shining just as bright as the spring sun, you felt yourself fall more in love with him. His hand dangled over your shoulder as he  lazily traced circles on your upper arm, “Tito wanted ice-cream.”

A laugh of amusement, mixed with disbelief, escaped your lips as you placed both hands on his chest to push him away, “You liar.”  

With your shove, Mat tightened his arm around your shoulder as the two of you fell backward on the blanket laughing. As you laid on your side, Mat readjusted his arm around you, with your head on his shoulder. His sweatshirt felt soft, and his chest continued to shake with laughter.

“Practice did run late,” Mat reiterated his first point, to which you only hummed in acknowledgement, “And then Tito said he wanted ice-cream, but he wanted to go to this specific shop.” Mat placed a kiss on your temple, “Would’ve told him to go alone if I knew how much time it’d take.”

Again, you hummed, as you rested a hand on his stomach, “Did you at least tell your boyfriend that your girlfriend said hi?”

Mat scoffed at your remark and poked your stomach in retaliation. You laughed at his childish behavior and moved a bit down the blanket so your head now rested just below his heart. He pulled you closer to him, and with your face nuzzled into his sweatshirt, you took a deep breath and savored how much his sweatshirt smelled like home to you.

He smelled almost as good as spring.

The hand that you had on his stomach rose up and down with his even breathing. And as you laid outside on the grass, surrounded by the spring air and the person you loved most in your life, you felt nothing but peace. Comfortable silence wasn’t uncommon in your relationship. While his voice soothed your most anxious thoughts… hearing the birds sing their melodies, listening in on the slight rustle of tree leaves whenever the wind blew, and the sound of steady breathing, paired with Mat’s slightly faster heartbeat, was more calming than anything.

“I can’t wait until that’s us.”

You peered up at Mat to see his vision locked in on something to his right. In order to see what he was referring to, you propped your chin up on his chest. It didn’t take you long to see that something was really a someone. And upon squinting to get a better look, that someone turned out to be a man, woman, and a child.

Your only response to him was a hum as you traced shapes on his stomach, hoping that your touch was strong enough to distract him from the conversation you knew he was about to bring up.

“I love you,” his words were strong, not faltering in the slightest, as he stared down at you with a promising look in his eyes. He picked up your hand––ultimately putting a stop to what you had hoped would distract him from this exact conversation––and pressed a delicate kiss to your knuckles, “So much.”

Mat gently placed your still connected hands on his stomach as you craned your neck up to press a kiss to his cheek, “I love you, too.”

He squeezed your hand twice, a look of amazement in his eyes as he stared up at the sky with a soft smile, “In a few months, It’ll be six years since we’ve been together.”

Your head softly fell back onto his chest as you nodded. Because while you’ll be celebrating six years of officially being in a relationship, the two of you had known each other much longer. He was the annoying kid at the end of the cul-de-sac who chased you around front yards and threatened to give you cooties. And you were the little girl who ran away from him, pretending to be disgusted whenever he got too close, but secretly loved his attention.

And that’s when your crush on him began.

From playing group games with other kids at neighborhood block parties, pairing up to sit next to each other on the bus in elementary school during field trips, to Mat asking you to the winter formal in eighth grade on a dare…Your infatuation towards him only grew.

By the time you were both eighteen, Mat realized his feelings, and asked you out on a date.

Playing games with other kids went to spending one-on-one time with Mat on dates. Sitting next to each other on the school bus as little kids went to Mat picking you up in his car as teenagers. And going to dances together was no longer the end product of a dare.

Even when Mat went to Seattle to play hockey, the two of you still kept the connection while you stayed in Canada. The four years of University were easier; with Mat playing for the New York Islanders, and your top choice for school was in New York City, it didn’t take more than a second thought to accept the offer.

As if Mat had the same memories playing on an endless loop in his head, he let out a relaxed breath, “I can’t wait until we buy a house, tell our kids how we met, and take them to this park.”

The uncomfortable familiar feeling you felt earlier in the afternoon creeped up your stomach, “You really have it all planned out.”

“I have our life,” he squeezed your hand as he made a point to emphasize a shared future between the two of you, “planned out.”

You were positive he could feel your heartbeat increase. And while the pounding of your heart could easily be mistaken for the heightened feelings you felt whenever you were near Mat, you knew something else was causing this distress. There was no one in the world you loved more than Mat. You loved your family because they were family, but you made a conscious decision to love him. And despite some hardships, he chose to love you as well.

But thinking about the future made you squirm.

A future with Mat was all you ever desired. You knew he was the one person in the universe made for you when you were halfway through university. And you were pretty sure Mat knew you were his person by the fourth date.

You still kept some of your notebooks that had doodles in the margin. The psychology notebook from junior year of high school had Mat Barzal, with hearts dotting around his name, in every blank space. And even in university, your senior year thesis notebook had script writing of your name paired with his last name, so you could practice a potential new signature for the future.

Since the seventh grade, this was everything you daydreamed about with Mat; a future together. Happiness always fogged up your mind whenever you thought about a lifetime together with him, you wanted this, but everything felt like it was approaching faster than anticipated. And the undisclosed feeling in the pit of your stomach wasn’t going away no matter how hard you tried to only think about a happy future with Mat.

Wanting to feel anything other than whatever made your stomach churn, you leaned up to press a lingering kiss to Mat’s jaw. Then you pressed another kiss to his neck, and another further down at the base of his throat. With each kiss you pressed to his skin, the feeling subsided more.

When you detached your lips from his skin and sat up, you heard him let out a discontent hum. With his eyes closed, he wasn’t aware of the adoration in your eyes as you looked down at him. You studied everything about his face; the slight pink coloring on his cheeks despite it almost being summertime, the downward curve on the bridge of his nose, and how he somehow still had a slight smile on his face when he wasn’t awake.

A satisfied silent sigh passed through your lips as your index finger trailed across his silver chain. The jewelry felt cold on your fingertips, but with the way Mat still had a hand holding onto yours, your whole body burned like a furnace. Unable to resist the pull you felt toward him any longer, you leaned down and pressed an innocent kiss to his lips. You lifted your head up, pulling your lips away from his, but Mat brought his free hand to gently lay on your cheek as he lifted his head up slightly to bring you back into a kiss.

It was soft, delicate, and reminded you of the first kiss you shared after your second date outside of his car when he dropped you off in front of your house.

With his thumb caressing your cheek, his fingers curled around your neck to bring your lips closer to his. And as you smiled into the kiss, he slowly lifted himself up until he was properly sitting. You pulled away from the kiss again, not wanting to get carried away while in public, but Mat followed your lips and kissed them one last time.

Your hand that was on his shoulder slowly inched toward the back of his neck where you played with the ends of his hair. He leaned his forehead against yours and whispered, “Wanna get pizza?”

You threw your head back in laughter and Mat dropped his head into the crook of your neck, wrapping an arm around your waist for a hug. Leaning into the hug, you continued to thread your fingers through his hair, “Yeah, pizza sounds good.”

“Good,” Mat pressed a featherlight kiss under your jaw as he unwound his arms from around you to stand up. He reached a hand out for you, and with a smile, you placed your hand in his as he pulled you up.  

Once on your feet, he tugged on your arm so that you were pressed flat against his chest, caught in another hug. Never one to deny any of his hugs, you wrapped your arms around his waist as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. His arms were strong and his body felt warm. You melted into his touch like you had for the past five––almost six––years.

But then his stomach grumbled, and you leaned away from him with an amused smile on your face, “Pizza?”

Mat smiled back down at you and nodded, “Pizza,” he said matter of factly as he unwrapped his arms from you and began to fold up the blanket.

When he had the blanket draped over his arm, he reached his hand out again for you to take. Happily, you slid your hand into his, as the two of you began to walk through the park to a pizza place down the street.

The pace of your walk was slow. Normally you wouldn’t mind a slow pace, but it was making the unknown and unwelcome feeling creep back up in your stomach. The feeling seeped through every crevice of your body as Mat recounted a story of how he almost got hit in the face with a puck at practice. And the feeling wedged itself deeper and deeper into the middle of your chest until you arrived at the pizza place.

“Your eyes look pretty today,” Mat offhandedly said as the two of you slid into a table after ordering.

You tilted your head, shoulders instantly relaxing at the sound of his voice, as a soft smile slowly made its way onto your face that was brighter than the sun the two of you just sat under.

You propped your elbows up on the table, resting your chin on your hands, as you looked at the love of your life with nothing but fascination, “Your eyes always look pretty.”

Mat reciprocated your beaming smile.

And the unknown feeling vanished.

–––

The spring air dwindled away and the crisp air of autumn slowly began to replace the weather associated with new beginnings. Even though the seasons changed, the heaviness in your chest you felt in May was still present in September. No matter what you did, or who you spent time with, the feeling continued to grow until it latched onto your deepest insecurities. And it wasn’t until you had an honest conversation with your best friend that she told you the feeling was anxiety.

Anxiety.

What did you have to be anxious about? What was so terrible in your life that made you nauseous in the mornings, kept you up until the late hours of the night, and had you constantly bouncing your leg up and down while sitting? Your life had been going exactly according to plan––exactly how you thought you wanted it to go. All you wanted was for it to disappear, but you couldn’t pinpoint what made you anxious. Which made it hard to try and control the feeling.

But there was one thing you did that proved successful in making the anxiety subside.

With your bare chest pressed up against Mat’s, his fingertips slightly digging into the skin of your hips, you rested your head in the crook of his neck as you inhaled a sharp breath. You had just experienced a shuddering orgasm on his lap, but he wasn’t quite finished.

Mat wrapped an arm around your body and flipped you over. You opened your eyes briefly to see him crawling up your body, adjusting himself in this new position. With raised eyebrows, he offered you a soft smile. And after you gave him verbal confirmation you wanted him again, he nudged your legs apart and guided himself in. You hadn’t fully recovered from the previous act of shared intimacy, but that didn’t matter to you.

The only thing that mattered was getting rid of the tortuous feeling that consumed you.

But when your hips met, and you heard Mat inhale a sharp breath, the feeling lessened.

You always looked forward to that––Mat’s breathless smile when your pelvic bones first connected in a deep thrust. There were other things, too. You knew things about Mat that nobody else knew. Like how Mat always crinkled his nose when he first became aroused. How his biceps were especially ticklish if you dragged your fingertips across them. How it drove him crazy when you would wrap your legs around him, hooking him in to pull him closer. Or how Mat would press a lingering kiss to your cheek when he was perilously close to the edge.

And it was that last movement that brought you out of your head––Mat pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek.

With a ragged breath, you trailed a hand up his arm––skipping his biceps––and curled an arm around his neck. Your fingers delicately moved up his neck as you weaved your fingers through his hair, and then slowly let your hand drag to the side of his face; cupping his cheek. And with a series of quick, deep thrusts with Mat on top, was all it took for your walls to clench around him as you lost your breath momentarily.

As you rode out the high of your orgasm, Mat was close behind. With a few more thrusts, you knew he released when his movements slowed down with a few snaps of his hips. After he inhaled a deep breath and released it through his nose, Mat rested his forehead against yours and then opened his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered unintelligibly while trying to catch his breath.

You rubbed your thumb over his cheek, “I love you, too.”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, nuzzling his head into the palm of your hand, before a shy smile broke through. With a gentle peck to your lips, Mat rolled off you and quickly disposed of the condom before rolling back into bed.

When Mat was back at your side, he propped himself up with his elbow and stared down at you. Shuffling a bit down the pillow, you pulled the sheets up to your neck and peered up at him. With his free hand, he took one of your hands and lazily played with your fingers. He went from slowly moving his fingers between yours, to his fingertips leisurely moving from the bottom of your palm to the tips of your fingers. And when he had done that for a few moments, he started tracing the lines on the inside of your palm.

The only sound in the room was the two of you silently breathing; basking in each other's presence after a few moments of shared intimacy. Even in the silence, all you heard was him whispering I love you on repeat in your mind.

Every time he said those words to you felt like the first time. And even hearing the echo of them from your memory caused a scintillating smile to unashamedly grow on your face. You diverted your gaze from him playing with your hand to look at him.

Mat’s eyes were already focused on you.

His eyes were the first thing you fell in love with. You didn’t know if you fell in love with him when you were twelve years old; when his wide, nervous eyes offered you a stick and asked if you’d to join his team for street hockey. Or when you were nineteen; when his earnest eyes were bloodshot as he confided in you that he was scared of losing the connection of your relationship when he went to Seattle. No matter what emotion he held in his eyes, you always loved them.

And even now, his eyes were soft. His eyes were so full of love, but there was another emotion swimming around in his eyes that you had only seen before he asked you out; longing.

You didn’t know what he was longing for as he stared at you. A creased formed in between his eyes as he scrunched his eyebrows together. Removing the arm you had under the pillow, you raised your hand and rubbed the crease until his eyebrows relaxed. He offered you a small smile, but this smile was more one of concern rather than happiness.

Like you did earlier when Mat was on top of you, you trailed your fingers down his cheek until you cupped the side of his face with your palm. Slowly, you caressed his cheek with your thumb.

“Are you alright?” Mat whispered.

It was your turn for your eyebrows to scrunch together and a crease to form between them. And while you momentarily retracted your hand from his face, you snapped out of your shock, and moved your hand up to brush a piece of loose hair out of his face. The piece of hair didn’t stay in its place, so you pushed it back once more, as you tried to distract yourself from the growing feeling of anxiety bubbling up in your stomach.  

The piece of hair continued to fall in front of his forehead, so you focused all of your concentration on making sure it stayed away, “Of course I am, why?”

Mat shrugged his shoulders. And he took your hand that pushed his hair back and intertwined your fingers together, “You seem a little…off.”

You snorted, “We just had sex twice,” your facial expression held a serious look, but your tone of voice was teasing, “Are you complaining?”

Mat let out a breathy laugh as he squeezed your hand, “That’s not––That was incredible––Really really good––definitely not complaining,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “I feel like I can say I know you better than anyone else, and…I don’t know.” His eyes dropped to your intertwined hands, and he tried his hardest to force a smile before looking back at you, “It feels like something’s been up the past few days.”

Few months, you wanted to correct him.

You shook your head, trying to ease both of your nerves, “I uh––I’m thinking of looking at grad schools?” you let the little white lie easily slip, “But I’m not seriously looking, it was just a thought.”

Mat playfully rolled his eyes, “Knew something was up,” he brought your connected hands up to his lips to press a reassuring kiss to the top of your hand, “If you do seriously consider grad school, you’re probably the most well off person to apply.” At his confidence in you, you tucked your chin into your chest.

“It’s just…” you inhaled a shaky breath, wanting to come clean about your unknowing anxiety, but something held you back, “I don’t know.”

Mat dropped your hand and slowly stroked the side of your face with the back of his hand, “It’s a lot to think about. But there are plenty of great schools in New York,” when his lips turned upward in a smile, you felt your stomach drop, “Whatever you want, we’ll figure it out together.” Mat pressed a kiss to your cheek, “We have all the time in the world.”

His voice, full of optimism, matched the hopefulness behind his eyes, and his smile finally met his eyes. And the longer you stared into his eyes, you saw a glint of something you had never seen before; devotion.

You don’t know when it happened, but you accepted the fact that you would marry Mat––spend the rest of your life with him. There was no lengthy discussion, but there seemed to be mutual acceptance. Mat always spoke so passionately about starting a family with you when he saw a toddler run around the park. And whenever you drove past a house you liked, you always made a passing comment about how nice it would be to raise a family with him.

You wondered when you started to feel so uncomfortable with the feeling of security.

–––

The month of September was slightly better, but not by much. The anxiety was still present and you kept Mat in the dark about everything. But it was difficult to confide in him when you didn’t even know the root of the problem. You couldn’t pinpoint the cause of anxiety, and you thought the feeling would disappear in June.

But it was now October and your anxiety had escalated to suffocation.

Suffocation.

It felt like there was a bag of twenty-pound rocks tied to your ankles and you were drowning. When you didn’t feel like you were drowning, you felt as if someone was smothering you with a pillow. And when you finally felt free from the smothering, it felt as though someone had cut off your air supply. But there was one thing that temporarily relieved the feeling of suffocation.

And it came with an acceptance email from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.

When you applied to a handful of universities to continue your education, you thought your anxiety was based around a fear of not excelling to your full potential. So, with that in mind, you took the little white lie you told Mat a few months ago and applied exclusively applied to grad schools only in New York City. But a program at Georgetown caught your eye and it was the only school outside of New York you applied to. You hoped for the best, but deep down you had a gut feeling the prestigious school in D.C. would reject you.

But when you received a fairly large envelope in the post, one that was not the size of a rejection letter, you felt a brief moment of freedom.

It is with great pleasure that we offer you admission…

You had read the opening line of the letter ten times before skimming the rest of the offer letter. The amount of confidence and pride you felt swell up in your chest was short lived. Because your new friend, suffocation, quickly swallowed up those feelings.

You had never considered moving out of New York––never considered moving away from Mat––but here you were, internally debating with yourself on whether you should take this offer seriously.

There was too much going on in your head––too much going on in the city––as you walked down the sidewalk. Every step you took toward your home felt like walking on a tightrope.

You had a university acceptance offer…Step one…The university was nearly 300 miles away from Mat…Step two…You had other university acceptance offers for school’s in New York…Step three…But the anxiety only grew when you received acceptance letters from schools in New York…Step four…And all of the anxiety went away with the D.C. offer…Step five…Does Mat have something to do with your anxiety––

You didn’t let yourself finish the last thought.

Mat was your person. There was not a chance the universe would play such a cruel trick on you. Life wasn’t fair, but life wouldn’t rip you away from Mat.

Right before you entered your apartment building, you dug out your phone and called your best friend. Once she picked up, you begged to spend the night at her place, saying you needed to get out of the city. She agreed, but you heard the curiosity behind her voice.

Knowing that mat would be waiting in your apartment, you hurriedly hung up before entering the elevator. The ride up was daunting, and the lights that blinked whenever you rose to a new floor felt as if they taunted you. They were yellow and bright, something you had not felt in quite some time, but the lights didn’t care as they flashed in your face.

When the doors parted open to your floor, you scurried out and opened the door to your apartment. You breezed right in before you changed your and decided to drive straight to Newark.

As expected, Mat sat slumped against the couch cushions as he pointed the remote at the television. He couldn’t seem to pick a channel that held his interest. When he heard the door open, he turned his head and you offered him a small wave as you set your bag on the floor.

“Good day?”

You shrugged your shoulders and walked over to sit next to Mat on the couch, “Average,” you leaned your head on his shoulder, “How was your day?”

Mat mimicked your shrug, “Just practice. Uneventful.”

You let out a snort, “What thrilling lives we live.”

That earned a loud laugh from Mat, “Exhilarating,” he leaned over and kissed your forehead, “So, for dinner? We have stuff to cook, but there’s this new place a few blocks over I thought we could try––”

Lifting your head up from his shoulder, you moved away from him slightly as you brought your legs up to your chest, quickly cutting him off, “I’m actually––I’m going to Newark tonight.”

A few awkward beats of silence passed before Mat spoke with a cracked voice, “Oh?”

Nodding, you leaned your chin on your knees, “Haven’t seen Melanie in a while,” you mentioned your best friend, “Just need to get out of the city for the night.”

“Everything alright?”

Mat’s voice was laced with hesitance, as if he didn’t know if he wanted an answer to his question.

You gulped and hugged your legs closer to your chest, “Yeah I––It’s a girl’s night. We just need to clear our heads.”

Mat nodded in understanding. He pinched his bottom lip between his thumb and pointer finger, “Clear your head,” he repeated cautiously as if he sensed there was an ulterior motive. He closed his eyes, and after a few more beats of silence, he opened them. And you felt your heartstrings tug in your chest when you saw the amount of yearning behind his stare.

“That’s…” he cleared his throat, and nodded his head slowly, as he looked at the television, “good.”

He didn’t phrase his words as a question, but they weren’t a statement either. It was Mat convincing himself that you leaving the city was fine…That you were fine…That the relationship was fine.

To ease his doubts––because there was nothing in your life that you were more certain of than your love for him––you took his hand, “It’s just for one night.” Your voice didn’t waver, and you spoke with double the confidence, hoping to transfer some of it to the boy who sat across from you.

“No, yeah that’s fine,” Mat bit the inside of his cheek, “Time with your friends is good.”

Mat never verbally recognized the small rift forming between you two, but in this moment, you knew he could feel it more than ever. And when you felt him pull his hand away from yours, you panicked and squeezed his hand twice. It caught his attention, and you smiled at him, “We’ll try out the new place tomorrow night for dinner.”

There was a far off look in his eyes, but he nodded in agreement.

Mat only using the bare minimum to communicate with you drove you up a wall. You didn’t like how he avoided conversation, and you didn’t like the feeling in your stomach that came with it. He’s disappointed in you, a voice in your head spoke up, you’re leaving him alone when you know he doesn’t feel confident about your relationship––

In order to silence the voice in your head, you did the only thing that you knew would keep it quiet.

You leaned forward, gently placing both of your hands on Mat’s cheeks, and kissed him. At first when he didn’t kiss back, you feared that you wouldn’t be lucky this time around to quiet your insecurities. The toxic coping mechanism you fell into every time wasn’t working. Panic rose through your body fast, and just when you were about to give up hope, he kissed you back.

A sigh escaped your lips as Mat pressed a hand firmly to your lower back to pull you closer.

You needed to be closer.

His hands carefully held your waist as your hands traveled from the sides of his face to the nape of his neck.

You needed to feel closer.

He kissed you harder, hands creeping up your shirt as he was always one to crave skin-to-skin contact. You let your hands delicately move down his neck to his shoulders––lifting your touch on his skin to avoid his biceps––and let your hands fall onto his chest.

Closer.

You needed to physically feel as close as possible to Mat; because emotionally, you felt as far away from him as ever.

–––

The forty-five minute drive from Long Island to Newark was filled with songs from the shared Spotify playlist you had with Mat. 

He created it when he first went off to play hockey in Seattle claiming it would be a fun way to stay updated with each other's lives. The playlist was full of songs that reminded either of you of each other, upbeat heavy rock songs that Mat listened to before a hockey game, or more mellow songs you heard in a coffee shop while studying.

Since Mat had started the tradition of creating a shared playlist each year, there was a new playlist for almost the entirety of your relationship. And on your lonesome drive to Newark, you pressed play on the playlist from 2015.

You left your apartment after a silent cuddle with Mat that lasted a few hours; legs tangled together, synchronized breathing, and featherlight touches. There was a moment where Mat removed his arms from your waist––he said he was cold––and asked if you had a sweatshirt he could borrow. Reluctantly, you got up and trudged to your room to look for a sweatshirt of his you once stole.

A black sweatshirt caught your eyes and you picked it up. The Seattle Thunderbirds logo printed on the front, you toyed with the hoodie strings, debating on if you wanted to give him his sweatshirt back. It was one of the first ones you sneakily stole from him in the beginning of your relationship. And as much as the sweatshirt was rightfully his, it had made a home in your drawer over the years.

Missing the way his arms felt wrapped around you, you walked back to the couch––Thunderbirds sweatshirt in hand––and offered it up to him. Mat quickly tugged it over his head, ruffling his hand through his already messed-up hair, and then pulled you down to lay next to him.

He left your apartment wearing the sweatshirt.

After replaying the memory of Mat walking out of your place with his sweatshirt, you found yourself at your best friend’s townhouse sooner than expected. She ushered you into her kitchen saying she was almost done boiling the kettle for tea.

The only words exchanged between the two of you so far was a greeting and barely there small talk. She didn’t push you as to why you frantically called her and begged for a night away from New York. But she anticipated that the conversation would come later in the night.

Once the teas were made to both of your likings, Melanie led you upstairs to her rooftop deck. A fond smile crossed your face as flashbacks from all the times the two of you had spent up here. The two of you had met in university, but she was a few years older than you, so she moved out of New York sooner than you.

Most of your deep conversations about Mat took place on this rooftop. From realizing you loved him on this rooftop to coming to terms that there was no one else you’d rather spend the rest of your life with… This rooftop held the realizations of multiple monumental moments of your relationship with Mat.

Next to the sectional couch the two of you sat on, Melanie lifted the lid of the wicker basket and plucked out two blankets. You quickly wrapped the blanket around your shoulders, bracing your body against the frigid air.

As Melanie adjusted the blanket over her shoulders, she spoke up, “Everything alright?”

You took a sip of tea, keeping your vision set straight ahead, “Yeah, I’m alright––it’s just…” you glanced over at her to see she had her eyes raised, silently telling you to rethink your answer, “I don’t know.”

Shoulders slumped over in defeat, you took another sip of tea.

“I think you’re far from fine,” Melanie chuckled, “Got a call from my best friend panicking about how she had to get away,” her voice waned off amusement and turned more serious, “You worried me.”

You nodded in understanding, “Sorry, I didn’t think––Sorry––It’s just everything…” you nervously itched your collarbone and let out a sigh, “Sorry.”

Melanie placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Never apologize for what you’re feeling,” her eyes were soft, and full of concern, as she weakly smiled and headed carefully with her words, “Even if you don’t…know what you’re feeling.”

“I got accepted to Georgetown,” you blurted out as you kept your eyes trained on the ground.

Her eyes widened, and a genuine smile spread across her face, “That’s––Shit, congratulations! That’s so exciting! D.C.…Wow.”

With a slow nod of your head, you took a sip of your tea, “D.C.”

A brief silence in conversation revealed everything Melanie needed to know about why you suddenly had to escape from the city.

“Mat doesn’t know?”

You repeated her question as a statement, “Mat doesn’t know,” breaking eye contact with her again, you swallowed down your insecurities, “While like––I don’t know––That’s not why I’m…upset.” Melanie nodded and waited for you to continue your explanation, “Things have been…off.”

“Off? As in recently?” Melanie questioned as you stayed silent. With a deep sigh, she whispered, “How long have things felt off?”

You gulped, “May.”

Melanie’s eyes widened again, but not in the joyous sense like they had when you told her about your graduate school acceptance. Her eyebrows were raised high and her mouth slightly dropped open, “Shit, Y/N, it’s November.’

Again, you nodded and took another sip of tea, “It is November.”

“You’re going to have to do more talking than repeat the last words of every sentence I say.”

The words weren’t meant to be harsh, but her tone of voice still caused you to flinch. Her sentence was the truth, and you didn’t come here to be coddled. You needed someone to be brutally honest with you to help bring you to a conclusion. And you knew you had to offer up more information, or else your little one-night escape away from the city would be pointless.

“I feel stuck,” you breathed out, the last word barely a whisper, as you felt your throat close up, “I feel stuck and I’ve felt this way since May. I don’t know why I feel like this and I really don’t know what to fucking do, Mel. I––I’m so scared.”

Melanie scooted closer to you, “Stressed about potentially going back to school?”

You shook your head immediately. The thought of going back to school was the only thing keeping you sane at the moment. You couldn’t wait to expand upon another area of study that interested you. And you had been feeling this way long before you entertained the idea of going back to school.

“Everything is going so so well with Mat and…I don’t know…I’m happy with how things are now, but––“

“You’re obviously not happy if you can’t talk to him about this,” Melanie cut you off sharply before she inhaled a deep breath, “Maybe you need some change.”

You quirked an eyebrow up and tilted your head, “Change?”

She nodded and offered you a regretful smile; one that people had tucked away for when they had to break not so pleasant news to people they cared about, “Change from…how your life has been going.”

You continued to blankly stare at her as the dots didn’t connect in your mind. Melanie took your silence as a way to continue on with her explanation.

“Maybe D.C. is a great opportunity to start over.”

Suddenly, the crickets that chirped on her rooftop blared like alarms, the blanket you had on felt itchy, and the bitter autumn air smelt stale.

“Start…Over?” You shook your head no as Melanie nodded her head yes, “I have a life built around Mat and a––I have a future with him––That’s not––I can’t––“

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Melanie,” you pleaded with your best friend as the scratchiness behind your throat became uncomfortable, “I can’t do that to him––“

She held up a hand for you to stop talking, “You’ve been with mat since you were like twenty––“

“Eighteen,” you corrected her.

She shot you a glare and pretended like she wasn’t interrupted, “You were children when your relationship started,” she waved her free hand in the air, “There’s no denying that you’ve had a great relationship with him. The two of you have grown so much together, but sometimes things get stuck in a routine and people need a change.” You felt a lone tear trickle down your cheek, “Maybe you need a change.”

You carefully set your tea down on the glass patio table as all of the negative thoughts and feelings ventured out of their hiding places. One by one, they creeped out of every corner––no crevice too small––of your mind, as your subconscious tortured you with the lethal words they created.

With the heel of your palm, you wiped away more silent tears that couldn’t stop falling from your eyes.

Change was something you didn’t handle well. Change was something you’ve never liked. Your heart was saying that this kind of change––a change from Mat was bad––but your heart was screaming. Your heart was screaming about how exhausted it always felt suffocated. Your heart was telling you that there was another way. That you didn’t have to feel like this all the time––how you shouldn’t feel like this all the time.

You wanted to ignore how your heart felt and listen to your head. You wanted to ignore the heartbreaking gaze Melanie sent your way. And most of all, you wanted to ignore how your best friend had a very valid opinion.

You craved Mat’s presence now more than ever.

–––

November ended painfully slow and December came without a care for your feelings.

In the midst of juggling your job, figuring out technicalities that potentially came with continuing your education down in D.C., and keeping up with Mat’s hockey schedule…You were also trying to stabilize a relationship that you desperately clung on to.

Ever since your roof top conversation with Melanie, you felt the relationship crumbling on your end. And only a couple weeks later, Mat seemed hesitant around you. Every touch he gave you held doubt. Every night you went to bed, he shifted further to the other side. And every I love you was said with caution.

He was there physically, but emotionally, he was pulling away right before your eyes.

You loathed the situation that you had created for yourself and Mat. You absolutely hated how you no longer synced up. You wanted to go back to the way things were before the summer hit. You craved the smell of the spring air that was synonymous to the safety you felt in Mat’s presence.

Although, you don’t know how possible that was now.

Change.

Melanie nonchalantly brought up the topic of change whenever you called or saw her in person. She reassured you that she would support your decision––whenever you came to one––but she still favored the decision of change for you. She had your best interest at heart, and while you appreciated that, your best interest was entangled with Mat.

And you knew that the decision she wanted you to make was not in his best interest.

But there was one day in the past seven months that felt normal.

At work, you were offered a promotion. And that same night, the Islanders had their seventh straight win, with Mat scoring a hat trick. You walked out of your director’s office with a smile on your face, and you snuck down to the lobby to call Mat with the good news. He sounded ecstatic for you over the phone, and he asked if you wanted to go to the game tonight so he could see you right after.

Eagerly, you accepted his offer, and you felt butterflies churn in your stomach as if it was the first time he asked you to attend one of his games.

You rushed to get all of your work done as fast as possible, and a few minutes before the clock struck five, you dashed out of the office and made your way to the arena. The game felt electric, Mat played with a sense of newfound desire, and you were ecstatic for him to be playing so well. And when the game was over, and Mat walked out in his game day suit––jacket folded over his arm and tie loosely done––you barreled into him.

Mat hugged you back just as tight, if not tighter, and his reassuring touch reestablished a sense of purpose in your life.

“I’m so proud of you,” Mat whispered in your ear, congratulating you on your promotion, “I’ll love you forever.”

That day filled you with hope.

That day made you smile wider than you had in the last few months. It was a light finally shining through the dreary storm clouds. And that day helped you gain clarity as to what sort of change you needed in your life.

You decided that change was needed if you wanted to keep sane. And you had come to the compromise that you could have a change and still keep Mat. All you needed was a change of scenery. You didn’t know why you thought you needed an ultimatum between the two, and it eased your troubles a little bit, but not nearly as much as you thought it would.

The day after your promotion and Mat’s hat trick, you woke up with your legs tangled with Mat’s, his arm thrown over your waist, and his face facing yours for the first time in months. It was so domestic, something you took for granted early on in your relationship, but once you had it back in your grasp, you never wanted to let go.

But the moment you woke up, his arm around your waist felt like an anchor aiding in your drowning. While it felt as if you were drowning, you also felt safe in Mat’s arms, as if he lent you a hand for rescue. Mat always made you feel safe.

Unfortunately, that was a week ago. And you hadn’t woken up in his arms since then.

Ironically, even though both of you knew something was wrong, Mat had been spending more time at your apartment than his. But the dynamic between you two had shifted: Mat no longer came up to hug you from behind when you cooked at the stove. You no longer pinched Mat’s hips as he walked past you. And the two of you blushed profusely and looked the other way whenever you saw the other in a towel after a shower.

Things had been off emotionally for quite some time. But now physical aspects of your relationship were changing, and a piece fo your heart broke off every time you noticed it.

You wanted change, but not like this.

You were at the small table in your kitchen, waiting for Mat to come back to you. He mumbled about heading to the gym with Tito when the two of you were sitting next to each other on the couch. He tied his laces up, and it looked like he was about to walk toward the door before he turned back around and stood in front of you.

Like every time you stared up at Mat, you fell in love with him all over again.

He offered you the smallest of smiles before bending down to your height. Carefully, he cupped your face with his hand, and you immediately leaned into his touch. A peaceful sigh escaped your lips and your eyes closed.

What caught you off guard the most was when Mat leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. And just when your eyes opened, he broke away from the kiss. When his eyes finally opened, they were pleading with you. His eyes begged for an answer you could not give him. His eyes urgently wanted for you to tell him what had flipped your entire world upside down.

But his eyes were also full of love and hope; unconditional love for his high school sweetheart and hope that the two of you could make it over this bump.

“I love you,” he whispered just as soft as the first time he said those words to you, “I won’t be long.”

Desperate for more physical contact from him, you weaved your fingers through his brown hair. You knew how much he loved when you massaged his scalp and ran your fingers through his hair. Instantaneously, his eyes closed, and he leaned forward to brush his nose against yours.

You didn’t want him to go to the gym with Tito.

And like the first day you repeated those important three words back to him, your voice was filled with the same enchantment for the man in front of you, “I love you, too.”

With a sigh, Mat opened his eyes. With the way his eyebrows pinched together, you could tell he was intently debating something in his mind. But before you could pry, he seemed to go against his better judgement and pressed another kiss to your lips. While the kiss wasn’t anything special, he lingered longer than his first kiss.

“I’ll be back soon,” he breathed out softly.

He left before you could open your eyes.

Part of you didn’t want to open your eyes because the last thing you saw––that would be ingrained in your brain forever––was the person you appreciated and cared for most in the world, telling you he loved you. There was no better high in the world than that, especially when you had felt deprived from his love for so long.

But that was six hours ago.

You hoped he would only be gone for two or three hours, but your hope dwindled away with every hour that passed.

You were messing around with your laptop when you heard a key in the door handle. And when you heard the creak of your door open, you held your breath. You felt the inside of your stomach fall and the anxiety crawl up.

Once you looked up from your keyboard, you saw Mat already staring at you.

His cheeks were rosy, lips parted ever so slightly as he heavily breathed, and his forehead glistened with sweat. He held the water bottle in his hands as he stared through you. The way he looked at you was unnerving, and you wish you were able to read his mind.

“I love you, Y/N.”

His voice held conviction as he refocused his gaze to look at you instead of through you.

Slowly, you closed your laptop as Mat walked toward you. He placed the water bottle on the table and looked down at your doe eyed, questioning gaze, “I love you, but I need to know what’s wrong.”

“What––“

“I know you feel it too,” the determination and confidence behind his voice fell, “It’s been a few months and I can’t––we can’t––this?” his voice cracked, “We need to figure it out.”

You sniffled and started to nervously pick at a loose piece of skin by your thumb. Your eyes fell to your lap, not wanting to see the utter heartbreak in his eyes, “Let’s––Yeah. Let’s talk, okay.”

Mat crouched down in front of you, and took one of your fidgety hands in his, “Hey,” he used his other hand to tilt your chin up to look at him, “It’s just me…The guy who accidentally shattered your car window junior year when shooting a puck because I wanted to impress you,” he let out a sad chuckle, “Just…Me.”

You sucked in a deep breath, vigorously nodding your head, in hopes to delay your tears, “I know––And I––That’s what makes this so…” You let out a hiccup and squeezed your eyes shut just as hard as Mat squeezed your hand in reassurance, “Hard.”

Before a sob wracked through your chest, Mat was fast to stand up and pull you up with him, wrapping his arms around you. You fell into his chest and he held you close, running a soothing hand up and down your spine. He whispered that everything would be alright, but your arms only tightened around his neck as your sobs increased with his careful words.

After a few moments when your cries slowly started to calm down, Mat slightly leaned back, but made sure to keep his arms securely wrapped around you. He lazily traced patterns with his thumb on your lower back, which caused you to look up at him.

With all your heart, you wished you didn’t look into his eyes. Because seeing his red eyes and heart-rending smile caused you more pain than the last seven months.

He brought a hand up to your face, wiping the tears from under your eyes with his thumb, “There’s my pretty girl,” he sniffled and failed at forcing a smile, “So pretty.”

You felt your bottom lip tremble, another wave of fresh tears waiting to be seen. And when Mat loosened his grasp around your waist, you looked up at him in panic. You didn’t want to be separated from him, but he shushed you, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to keep you close as he guided you over to the couch.

Much like earlier in the day, the two of you sat on the couch together. But instead of laying together on the couch, he sat next to you.

With your thighs touching, Mat grasped your hand in his, “Talk to me,” his grip was so tight, it felt like he was afraid you would slip away right in front of him, “Please.”

You nodded your head again, but no words came out.

How were you supposed to start off this kind of conversation?

Mat squeezed your hand in reassurance, and before you began to overthink about the best way to phrase your feelings, you said the first thing that came to mind.

“I feel anxious,” you let out a shaky breath.

Mat slowly nodded, squeezing your hand again as a silent way to encourage you to continue.

And with a deep breath, you shut your eyes tight, “I feel anxious and stuck––Almost like––I feel like I have no control over anything and it––I think––I need, uh, a change.”

Your words strung together in one rushed out sentence. And as your rambling continued on, your words grew softer and softer until your voice barely carried above a whisper. But the last word––change––echoed loudly in the room. The word was deafeningly loud, and Mat didn’t miss a beat.

“Change…”

The one syllable word sounded foreign coming from his lips. He repeated the word for a second time to make sure he heard you right.

Change.

In a sense, change was ever present in your relationship. There was change when you and Mat first grew out of being friends to more…Change when Mat left for Seattle to play hockey…and change again when Mat got drafted by the Islanders.

Change was almost a constant in your relationship; but the change was always prompted from Mat’s end. There had never been any expressed desire for change on your side.

“What do you want a change from?” Mat’s tone was daring, almost as if he wanted you to make his worst nightmare a reality.

“I––There’s this whole––“

“What,” he didn’t mask the viciousness in his voice, “do you want a change from.”

His voice was demanding, and not at all like the sweet sound that comforted you moments ago. You knew him well enough to know he was growing irritated at you, and you knew it would only get worse.

“I got into a masters program––in D.C.,” you rushed out, and in hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best response to reassure his insecurities, but you needed to get that information out there, “And it’s––it sounds so great, Mat. Like really great, and––“

He removed his hand from yours in a swift motion, as if he touched fire, “You’re leaving?”

“That’s not–––“

“Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” His eyes shined with hurt and disappointment, but most of all, you could hear the distrust behind his voice, “D.C.?”

You sighed, “I never seriously considered it until last month.”

Mat closed his eyes, no doubt in frustration that you didn’t confide your feelings in him earlier, “You’ve been feeling like you need a change for the past month?” Your silence caused him to flare his nostrils, and edged him on to ask another question, “Since when––Why––How long have you felt this way?”

You gulped, averting your eyes to look at his knees, “I don’t want anything between us to change, Mat,” you spoke carefully, “I was thinking––“

“How long?”

“May.”

You screwed your eyes tight to the point where you felt a stunning sensation in your forehead. You couldn’t bring yourself to look in his eyes, that no doubt would be filled to the brim with pain. And you avoided his stare that bored you for as long as you could.

But when you felt the couch cushion next to you feel lighter, you snapped your eyes open and up to look at Mat.

Mat backed away from the couch, and there was nothing you could have done to prepare yourself for the look of betrayal in his eyes, “May?” Gnawing at your bottom lip, you nodded. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head in disbelief, “How could you not tell me––Christ, seven months?” Y/N…” his voice cracked as he said your name.

It killed you to see his jaw clenched and eyes rimmed with redness; and seeing his eyes overflow with heartbreak caused you to shoot up from your seat to comfort him. But what killed you even more was how he flinched away from your touch. Nothing in the world could prepare you for that sting.

All you wanted was to comfort him.

“Mat––“

He inhaled a deep breath and sniffled, “Please, don’t…” he brought both hands up to face, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, “You want to leave?”

He couldn’t even look at you.

Unfair to you, his question held two sides. He was asking for clarification about wanting to leave New York, but also asking if you wanted to leave him. To Mat, leaving New York meant leaving him.

Your arms hung limp at your sides, mouth wide open in shock. You understood his confusion about wanting to leave New York because you had never mentioned it before. But your despair quickly turned into irritation as he verbalized his doubt of your love for him.

“You know I’d never leave you,” you said with a deep breath, trying your best to keep your anger at bay.

He ripped his hands away from his face, “Do I?” He sent you a glare that had you stumbling back, “Because we had this whole plan for us. And now you don't want that with me.”

“I still want that with you!” You threw your hands up in the air in exasperation, “Grad school goes faster than undergrad. We’ve done long distance before, and my job said they could transfer me––“

“You already have a job here!” Mat raised his voice, “There are places to go to grad school here! You have a place here! You have friends here––“

You raised your voice over his, “That’s not the point, please just––“

“You have me here!” His voice cracked, “We had a plan––“

“Plans change!”

Mat had his mouth open, ready to shout over you more, but once your ambiguous statement traveled from the confines of your thoughts and slipped out of your lips, he had no response. You could feel the anger radiating off him as the ringing in your ears grew louder…and louder…and louder…

“Plans don’t just change like that,” he venomously spat out. His words hit you like icicles, cold and sharp before his tone momentarily softened, “I had my life built around you…We––I wanted to marry you. Start a family with you.”

He spoke as if all of those desires he had with you were now a far off fantasy.

You pinched the bridge of your nose to stop a new wave of tears from falling. But these tears weren’t of fear for his reaction to your thoughts about change, he made those feelings loud and clear.

These were tears of mourning.

“Mat,” you spoke his name with a strained voice, “Let’s talk about this rationally––“

He ran a hand through his and narrowed his eyes at you, “Don’t…” he raised his forearm to wipe more tears away from his face, “I can’t believe––I really thought we had it all from the beginning. But who would have actually thought two teenagers would make it this far?”

He let out a soft, maniacal chuckle that made you more nauseous than any amount of anxiety.

“We were just children back then,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “What did we know about life.”

His anger morphed into a cynical tone that sent shivers down your spine. It frightened you when he let out that small laugh, one that was usually saved for comical moments between the two of you.

“But here we are now,” he let out another self-deprecating laugh, “Time’s a funny thing…It seemed like nothing back then––It felt as if we had the rest of our lives together.”

As much as you didn’t want to hear Mat break down everything about your relationship, you knew he was spiraling, and you wanted to help him. Because despite what he may think, you still loved him.

Carefully, you tiptoed forward as Mat continued on with his rambling about how idiotic he was as a kid to think that this would last forever. With each step forward, your heart shattered into the tiniest of shards as Mat portrayed your relationship as childish with no chance of reconciliation.

“You just took my love,” his voice decreased in volume and cynicism, and was replaced with a tone that ripped your heart out of your chest. He pointed an accusatory finger at you that made you stop in your tracks, “You took my love––you took it and have no remorse whatsoever––“

You shook your head and picked up the pace of your walking to reach him, “I still love you, Mat. That will never change.”

He stared down at you, and for a moment, you saw the Mat you fell in love with. You saw the bright-eyed eighteen-year-old boy who took his time in teaching you how to shoot a perfect slapshot in his driveway. He looked like he was on the verge of forgiveness, but once you slightly ghosted your fingers against his hand, he snapped out of whatever trance he fell under.

“I don’t know how to love anyone else,” his shoulders slumped forward as he bit his bottom lip.

Without caring that he pulled his hand away from yours seconds ago, you swiftly took his hand in his and gripped it as if you were hanging off a cliff and he was your only lifeline. You didn’t know if it was a moment of bravery, or a moment of desperation. Because there was a nagging thought in the back of your mind that screamed about how this could be the last time you touched him.

“You don’t have to love anyone else,” you pleaded with him, your voice catching in your throat as tears welled up in your eyes, “I don’t want you to love anyone else.”

“Time’s a funny thing,” Mat let out a humorous chuckle, not believing that the two of you found yourself desperately clinging onto the past.

When he finally made eye contact with you, he slightly tilted his head as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Even when he was crying, his dark eyes still captivated you like no one else had. And the longer you stared into his longing eyes, they were filled with one emotion you weren’t familiar with; regret.

“Mat,” you whispered his name cautiously, petrified of what his next move was, “We can work through this…”

He slowly shook his head, causing your heart to plummet, “May…From what I’ve gathered, you hadn’t applied to grad schools then––Didn’t have an excuse for change,” he stalled back more of his tears, “But you wanted a change. You still want that change.”

“I want a change of scenery,” you tried your hardest to make him understand your feelings, “Not a change from you.”

“The only thing back then you could’ve wanted a change from was me,” it was the first time his voice didn’t falter. He was confident in his theory that you didn’t want him anymore.

You squeezed his hand, “Are you even listening to yourself––“

“You’re the love of my life,” his voice was full of pain, and when he softly smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. With one hand still clutching onto yours, he brought his other hand up––a trembling hand––and tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear, “I just wish I was yours.”

With a shakey inhale, and one last strong sniffle to conceal his sobs, Mat pressed a firm kiss to your forehead. And when released your hand one last time, he escaped out the door.

You had felt many sensations throughout the past seven months: drowning, feeling weighed down, and suffocation. But what you felt right now, the devastation that encased your whole body, was far worse than any of those emotions.

Because now, it felt as if you were falling.

Mat, your only lifeline, let go of your hand.

He knew he held the power to pull you up and save you, but he decided to let you go. When he released your grip, it felt as if he was releasing it finger by finger, desperately wanting to hold onto what you both had; wanting to hold onto the life both of you had created around one another. But in the end, it didn’t survive.

And as he released your hand, you fell.

You fell over the edge, stomach performing backflips as the sensation became worse with each passing second. The sensation of falling was never ending, as if you were falling down the rabbit hole to Wonderland; terrified of what waited for you at the bottom.

The December air felt frigid. The December air made one seek comfort in hot chocolate, or another menial item, because winter wasn’t strong enough to provide comfort. The December air felt nothing like the spring air that offered you solace without asking for anything in return.

Oh, how you wished to smell that spring air once more.

[august-anon]

and finally “Sorry, was I tickling you?” with geraskier please :D ~🌵💞

Yes yes, my friend!

---

Oops

Fandom: Witcher

Ship(s): Geraskier

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Geralt/Ler!Jaskier

Word Count: 809 words

Summary: Geralt should know better than to lie to Jaskier, even when it's something as simple as tickling.

[ao3 link]

------------------------------

Jaskier’s fingers traced gently over the skin he rested on, feeling the strength of the muscles underneath, the way they jumped under his fingertips. The bed creaked as Geralt shifted, huffing through his nose. Jaskier dropped his palm down flat to the plane of Geralt’s stomach, rubbing away his previous touch.

“Sorry,” Jaskier said, opening his eyes. “Was I tickling you?”

Geralt shifted again, this time enough to jostle Jaskier’s whole body with the movement. “No.”

Jaskier raised his eyebrows. “No?” He tried to glance up at Geralt, but the angle was too awkward with the way he was resting on Geralt’s chest. “You won’t mind if I continue, then.”

Geralt grunted. Jaskier gave a teasing hum in response as he lifted his hand once more so only his fingertips were touching Geralt’s skin. He slowly stroked across Geralt’s stomach and sides once more, sweeping down a few times to add his hips to the mix. Now more awake and aware, and with his eyes open, he could see the way muscles jumped under his touch, the way Geralt’s body would try to slowly and silently shift away when Jaskier hit a particularly sensitive spot, carefully enough that Jaskier hadn’t noticed it in his previous haze.

Jaskier was tempted to tease, to trick Geralt into admitting this tickled and just how badly it did. But at the same time, he wanted to see just how far he could push Geralt before he admitted it himself. After all, Jaskier had no reason at all to think that Geralt was lying, absolutely not.

Jaskier knew he couldn’t add a wiggle to his fingers without Geralt realizing his intentions; he needed to be more careful than that. Instead, he paid attention to his next several passes, watching for the patches of skin that Geralt seemed to react to the most. Then, he changed his pattern to trace lines between those little patches of skin specifically. He continued this, watching the way Geralt subtly squirmed and listening to his carefully even breath, until he thought he could get away with the next phase of his plan.

Jaskier targeted a specific sensitive spot, directly to the left of Geralt’s belly button, tracing swirls and doodling little nonsense shapes there. He felt more than heard Geralt’s breath hitch, with his head resting atop Geralt’s chest. He toyed with this spot a few moments more, feeling Geralt get more and more tense, until he suddenly switched back to connecting all the particular patches of skin he had found.

He kept this up, targeting one small place until it seemed Geralt was on the brink of giving in, and then suddenly giving him relief by going back to broader motions. Jaskier had to give it to him, Geralt was holding out far longer than Jaskier could’ve. He would’ve been giggling with the first targeted attack.

But eventually, everyone breaks.

Jaskier had gone through his routine three times before he decided that enough was enough. He strayed back to the first spot in the order, that sensitive little spot right next to Geralt’s navel. He swirled and traced and tickled, but this time he didn’t stop when Geralt started getting tense. He kept going, keeping his touch maddeningly light, allowing only the lightest brush of his fingertips against skin.

Geralt let out a low hum, shifting in a way that was probably meant to dislodge Jaskier. Luckily, Jaskier was stubborn, following the movement so Geralt couldn’t find a reprieve. It was only a short few moments before that low hum turned into low giggles, puffing out through Geralt’s nose. Jaskier’s head bounced on Geralt’s chest with his giggly breaths.

Only a moment later, the hand that Geralt didn’t have wrapped around Jaskier’s back started reaching for Jaskier’s hand. Jaskier darted out of the way, targeting instead the small place in the divot of Geralt’s right hip. Geralt snorted, his hand spasming midair as his giggles finally pushed out from between his lips. He tried to wiggle out of Jaskier’s way, but Jaskier followed just as easily. When Geralt’s hand came for him again, he switched to the next spot.

Their dance continued until Geralt was full-blown laughing from even the lightest touch. Jaskier finally allowed Geralt to catch his hand (though it was obvious that Geralt hadn’t been trying very hard at all to do so), interlacing their fingers and resting their joined hands on Geralt’s chest. Neither spoke as Geralt’s breath and heart rate slowed under Jaskier’s head.

Then, calloused fingers crawled over Jaskier’s back and side and onto his stomach with the lightest, most torturous touch possible. Jaskier gasped and jerked away, only pressing himself further into Geralt’s body.

“Sorry,” Geralt murmured, the grin clear in his voice. “Was I tickling you?”

Jaskier giggled, hiding his face in Geralt’s chest. Oh he was in trouble, now.

[xokiddo]

Can you do “  i want you around.  if i didn’t,  i wouldn’t be here would i?  ” with Jean hehehe

oh man CAN I (≖ᴗ≖✿) I’d love to!

(find a prompt at this post + a character, and send it to me for me to write!)

Here’s some canon Jean fluff. Set post-timeskip, but pre-Marley. You’re a Garrison soldier who’s caught Jean’s eye, and you’re on a day date in the town square, except you won’t admit that it’s a date because you’re both hopeless idiots pining. Also ✨first kiss✨ because I’m a sucker for it.

—

“This looks…fancy.”

“Just try it.”

You look up from your decorative pastry to glare at Jean beside you, meeting his amber gaze in a challenge. You try to ignore how he’s so close that his thigh is pressed to you on the edge of the fountain, because it’s frankly distracting, but you can’t bring yourself to inch away.

In your lap sits an open to-go box holding a torte of sorts, but it’s covered in fruit - and you think cream? - complete with a dark red layer at the bottom. Jean insisted that you try it, claiming it’s his favorite treat in the bakery, evidenced by the one in his own lap.

“Come on. If you don’t like it, I’ll get you something else,” Jean persists.

You want to make a snarky comment about how he’s suddenly throwing money around now that he’s a Section Commander, but you give in.

Carefully, you scoop a bite, collecting a berry or two on your spoon, and you pointedly hold Jean’s gaze as you eat the whole bite. As the sweetness of the pastry and tart fruit mix, you can’t deny that it’s delicious.

“Oh. Wow.” You lick your lips as you smile, unable to hide just how good it is.

Jean’s eyes flicker to your mouth for a moment, and his cheeks turn pink; your heart beats erratically at the subtle change.

You’ve been doing this dance for a while, now.

Jean invites you out - like today - or finds reasons to come by your post, or he writes you letters with a doodle or sketch enclosed in the envelope. When you’re together, your heart does all sort of ridiculous things, and he seems to only be able to focus on you, regardless of what’s happening around you.

Whatever this back and forth is leading to, it terrifies you, if only because of the unknown that follows.

You take another bite of your sweet to force your thoughts to move on. Jean does the same, taking his time to chew before he breaks the silence.

“Hey,” he says softly, turning his head to face you properly. You meet his amber gaze with wide eyes, wondering if he’s about to tell you to get lost, so you beat him to the punch.

“I can go after this,” you offer, hoping to keep your pride intact. “You don’t have to spend your whole day off with me.”

He studies you with a curious expression, eyes searching yours.

“I want you around,” he tells you earnestly, giving you a fond smile as he speaks in a low voice. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here, would I?”

His honesty strikes you; your eyes widen and your face feels hot under his unwavering gaze.

“I…suppose that’s true,” you mutter, swallowing thickly. You feel like you should reciprocate - you should tell him just how much you look forward to these small, simple moments together. “I want to be around you.”

Now, it becomes Jean’s turn to blush, though he smiles shyly, looking so fucking handsome it’s unfair. Your heart pounds in your chest, rattling you with each beat, and you suddenly feel a surge of courage.

“I want you to kiss me,” you murmur, feeling the heat in your face spread to your ears and neck. You don’t look away, though, watching surprise flash in Jean’s expression, only for it to quickly be replaced by affection.

He doesn’t reply verbally; instead, he leans in, though the distance isn’t far considering how closely you sit. Your eyes flutter shut just before his lips meet yours. He’s soft, and warm, making you melt instantly against him. His goatee tickles your cheeks, but you find the sensation pleasant - so much so that when you part, you chase his lips once more for another kiss. Given that you’re in public, the kiss is chaste, but he hums quietly as you eventually break away.

You feel light-headed when you open your eyes, finding his so close, but you smile widely.

“I meant what I said,” he reminds you, kissing the corner of your mouth before he glances down at your lap. “Finish your food. We still have the rest of the day.”

Your heart flutters, but you silently oblige, now filled with a newfound excitement for your day with Jean.

[jujutsubabe]

Library

Synopsis: (This is set when Gojo and Getou were in highschool) You are all in the library trying to practice presentations but Gojo can’t stop being distracting.

(I mean,,, no ship tbh? Kinda platonic reader insert but u can take it as Gojo flirting)

Word count: 1.7k

—————

A library is supposed to be silent, filled with studying and well focused people. It’s a place meant for peace and quiet, so everyone there can get a good grasp on their subjects without any distractions.

The library is known for being the best place to work in, you are surrounded by peers and books and computers of all kind. The amount of resources is unlimited, mixing alone and social time all into one setting, a beautiful design.

However, if you mix a quiet respectable place with three idiots, you tend to get the opposite of what a library is supposed to be.

The library was filled with your quiet snorts and giggles as you sat in the back of the room, you putting your hand over your mouth did nothing to silence you as you shook.

Gojo bit down on his lip as he tried to contain his laugh as well, waiting for the right timing to say another dumb joke.

You felt the stares of a few of your peers, but couldn’t help from giggling in your corner. It was one of those rare moments where you felt air escape your lungs in a good way, the crunching of your sides was a ticklish feeling. It was so carefree and fun, a simple memory you would keep every time you entered a library.

You turned to Gojo at the same time as him, trying to put on a serious face but when you saw his struggling one you couldn’t help but crack a huge smile and fall back into your lap cackling. He turned away snickering to his side as well.

You had been here for what felt like hours, you trying to go over your presentation but barely getting through the first slide with how Gojo suddenly wanted to be a comedian. Not letting you catch a break each slide.

It didn’t help that you were already behind in your presentation, he just fed into your procrastination. Making this workload ease into other hours of your day, it seemed like the only thing you could do for the day was work on this presentation.

Getou rested his chin on his hand, “You egg him on when you do that.”

“I know!” You wheezed, “But its so—so hard, I can’t focus.”

Gojo leaned in to whisper something else but Getou tilted his head, “Satoru, you’re a distraction.”

He pulled back, fixing his sunglasses with a wide grin. The class clown couldn’t help but make light of such a boring atmosphere, what was he even supposed to do in here? (Study Gojo… study…)

Picking on you two was way more fun than doing his fifty-billion already missing assignments.

“What?” He looked over his glasses, “It’s not my fault I’m this funny.”

“No, he’s right!” You took deep breaths, pulling into your center, “He’s right, let me try again and don’t distract me!” You pointed with a warning intent.

He grinned at you, playing on his innocent expression, which didn’t come across as very genuine.

It was like he called for attention to himself just by entering a room. No one could ignore him. So imagine how much harder it would be to ignore him if this giant ray of sunshine was sitting right next to you, pestering you every second.

“So,” you skimmed over your notes, “for this presentation, I wanted to research how the possible extinction of polar bears is such a condenen— conquential—conquista-- conse-”

“Are you trying to say consequential?” Geto asked.

There was a slight moment of silence, maybe half a second before, like a burst of a bubble, Gojo snorted and turned his head to the side giggling away. It didn’t help that his laugh was so contagious. It was like a yawn, when one person did it everyone else did.

Geto looked away, covering the slight curl of his mouth. He tried his best to be the mature one in the group but sometimes Gojo broke down that expectation with something as simple as giggling like a child.

Him trying to not smile mixed with Gojo’s actual laugh made it so much harder to not give in yourself. These two really couldn’t stop goofing around, no matter the situation.

You forced a frown, “Guys, It’s not funny!”

Gojo made a look at Getou, and Getou let out the lightest huff of air before shaking his head. “You’re right. Continue.”

“Thank you,” you cleared your throat, getting your notes in order, “I think it’s important to note that a big factor that could lead to their extinction are greenhouse gas em… emm...emnio—”

You squinted at the page, pulling it closer, you ignored Gojo’s pestering smile beside you. If you even looked at him you knew this would be all bad, he had a way of pulling you from work and not letting you get back to it.

Getou tapped the paper, “What’s wrong?”

You slid the paper to him, “I don’t know how to say that.”

He pulled the paper to his face with a slight frown. He blinked a few times, trying to not let confusion seep onto his face. With a little bit of inspecting, he eventually slipped the paper across for Gojo to help.

Gojo blinked back at the paper, a smile curling onto his face, “Is this your handwriting…?”

Getou hid his face while Gojo’s smile widened into a grin, then a chuckle, then a full on laugh, the both of them snickering onto themselves. You rolled your eyes, as Gojo banged his hand on the table like he saw the funniest thing on the damn planet.

These two were rolling over themselves over your sleep filled handwriting! It wasn’t even that funny!

You scoffed as the two went into hysterics over your handwriting, trying to fight off the smile crawling it’s way onto your face. It took so much to not give in.

It was all fun and games until a few students started to share a few looks from across the room. A few glared your direction, some actually leaving the place for a quieter place to study. No one seemed to enjoy your table's joy the same way you all were.

The three of you were being a nuisance to the quiet work environment, contradicting the point of a library with your presence. But why was laughing in the library more fun than laughing in your room with each other?

Was it the concept of breaking the rules that tickled you? Or maybe it was the hysteria of working on something for too long without breaks, forcing you all into taking a different kind of break.

None of you noticed when a select few students got up to talk to the teachers about you three. Whispering to the side and pointing a teacher your direction.

Your head popped up when you heard the light tapping of heels and keychains coming your direction. A more than pissed off adult looking straight towards your table.

You shook Gojo and grabbed his arm, “Dude shut up! Shut up the teachers coming!”

Before you could grab yourselves together, the teacher already arrived by your table, tapping on the desk until she got your attention. “I’m going to need you all to quiet down or leave. You’re being a distraction.”

Gojo quirked a brow, opening his mouth, but you spoke up before he said something disrespectful.

“Sorry.” You nudged the guy next to you, “We’ll be more quiet.”

She pursed her lips as she did a once over of you all, definitely memorizing your faces. You lot were making this poor lady do more than needed on her shift. She probably couldn’t wait until you guys messed up again so she could kick you out for good.

“Thank you.” She did a last sharp look before she eventually turned, walking away to the front desk again. Full hawk eyes on your table.

You turned around to the group, trying to regain composure. It was so awkward having her stare and know that you had to be on your best behavior. Everyone sat silently, no one even moving.

Until Gojo leaned back in his seat, twisting his head to look at you. You tried your best to not look at him…you could literally feel his stare through your head. He was insufferable.

…However, you couldn’t help the curiosity and slowly turned your head to meet his eyes. Just one look and his face flooded into a winced grin, already trying to hold back laughter with a squeaking sound from him.

With that, your composure broke and you released a set of giggles while Getou covered his mouth. Just like that Gojo won, he ate this attention up, releasing his own dumb fit of laughter.

You guys really couldn’t go a minute in silence could you?

Getou smiled and stood from the table, “Were not getting anything done. Let’s get food.”

You nodded, you were surprised it took this long for someone to realize that. This was a highly anticipated break you put off for too long, not realizing just how much time was wasted goofing off until now.

“I want ice cream!” Gojo slung your bag over his shoulder.

You blinked between the two as they gathered their belongings, starting to disperse from the table. You were still getting yourself together, scrambling with your things as the tall pair strided to the exit. “Guys wait up!”

They very much did not wait up, if anything it seemed as though their pace got quicker. (Gojo even looked back before grinning that sinister smile of his and walking faster.)

When you darted out of the seat, you just so happened to glance back at the table.

It had a few balled up sheets of paper under it, (that Gojo made and threw at the both of you) the chair’s weren’t pushed in, and if you looked closely you could see a few doodles sprawled along it.

For some reason, the table setting that would definitely piss off that teacher, made you smile. It showed proof that you and your friends had been there, that a few teens were messing around and having fun before they left.

Which you did, you made a good memory today. Those small moments of laughing at dust with friends, warmth from being so happy, comfort from having a tight bond.

It was all you needed, and all you wanted to remember anyways.

[maraudersftw]

“Can I at least tell my side of the story?”

@theroomofreq Thank you for the super fun prompt! ❤❤

Doodle

“What’s your bloody problem, Potter?”

James’s laughter died down at the sound of the voice, a hand jumping up to his hair as he turned around in his armchair to find Lily Evans stalking towards him from the portrait hole, face red enough to match her hair.

“Evans,” James blinked, dropping his hand immediately when her scathing remark from a few days ago near the lake came to mind, “What’s the matter?”

“What’s the matter, you say?” Evans scoffed, and James could tell from his peripheral vision that Gryffindors all around the common room had stopped to stare at what they expected to be another one of their infamous rows. His attention was snapped back when she spoke again. “The matter is that you just can’t seem to take ‘no’ for an answer. I’ve tried telling you nicely one too many times, but this is just childish, even by your standards.”

“I know you’re going to think I’m lying, but I honestly don’t have the faintest clue as to what you mean.”

“Oh, really?” Lily threw him a fake smile, suddenly shoving a tiny piece of parchment under his nose, “perhaps this will help you remember.”

James curiously moved his eyes away from her face and looked down at the short note. Within half a heartbeat, the tips of his ears were dangerously warm, and he kept blinking at the note, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Thankfully, Remus had taken it upon himself to shoo away the onlookers with a stern, “don’t you lot have anything better to do with your time?”, so at least James was saved the mortification of having prying eyes witness his pathetic state.

“Well?” Lily said, a hand on her hip as she looked at him. James noticed that she had yet to return back to her normal color, taking some comfort in the fact that he was not alone in his humiliation, though hers was definitely mixed with a good amount of anger.

“How did you find this?” He asked in a pained voice, looking down at the parchment again and openly flinching.

It was one of James’s numerous doodles, the ones he often found himself drawing absent-mindedly during classes.

This one was particularly embarrassing; it was a large heart with an arrow running through it, and it merrily nodded from one side to the other, courtesy of his special quill. The highlight was, of course, the pair of initials inked boldly inside the heart.

James recognized this doodle very well, remembered the exact History of Magic lesson during which he had drawn it several weeks ago. But what he did not recognize was the horrifying message scribbled underneath it in his handwriting.

Evans, the bud of my heart,

I like you a Lily bit more every day

All I can think about is how we should put our tulips together

And how robes on bodies are really just a bother

“Can I at least tell my side of the story?” He asked quickly, gulping when his eyes traveled back up to see Lily turning redder by the second. “I swear it’s not what it looks like. I didn’t write this.”

“You expect me to actually believe that?!” She seethed, “That’s your chicken scrawl, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but—hang on, how did you know—?”

“So, you’re telling me someone else went through all the trouble to write down this utterly terrible, pun-filled, and downright crass poem, draw a stupid heart with our initials on it, and dropped the parchment into my bag for—for what, exactly?”

James blinked, “Uhh…”

“Thought so. You know, Potter, I always knew you were a prat, but I never pegged you for a liar.”

“No, wait!” James jumped out of the chair, feeling slightly desperate when Lily looked like she was about to storm off, “alright, that—that drawing is mine. But I swear I didn’t write the rubbish underneath it and I sure as hell didn’t drop it into your bag! I’d have to be mad to—come on, Evans, look at it! I’m not eleven anymore. I could do much better.”

Lily continued to stare at him suspiciously, and James tried not to squirm under her scrutinizing gaze even though he was rather certain he was flushed all over.

After what seemed like an eternity, she let out a heavy exhale and James almost wiped his brow in relief. “It doesn’t make any sense though,” Lily said, “Who would do something like that?”

James considered her question for a second. No one in the entire school had anything to gain out of trying something like this, not when James made his affections for Lily quite vocal all by himself. None of the Slytherins who hated him possessed a funny bone in their body, so James quickly ruled them out as well.

In fact, the only people who would find his embarrassment absolutely tickling—

His eyes sharply flitted to the three boys still seated around the fireplace, their backs unnaturally rigid and tense.

He looked at Remus first, whose face was a mask of pure innocence, and he smiled at James pleasantly. Narrowing his eyes, James moved onto Sirius, who was nothing if not a bastard. He was barely controlling the chuckles spilling from his lips and the mirth in his grey eyes was unrestrained, but this was hardly evidence enough for James, for he was certain Sirius would find the situation entirely hilarious regardless of whether it was brought on by him or anyone else.

Finally, his eyes settled on Peter, and as soon as the smaller boy looked at him, he let a telling squeak fly, watery eyes flitting nervously and confirming James’s suspicions.

Sirius and Remus let out simultaneous groans of disbelief and facepalmed, shooting up from the couch and immediately bolting away, dragging a jittery Peter behind them. Laughter bounced off the walls as they quickly exited the portrait hole.

A second ticked by, and James turned to look at Lily with a deranged expression on his face.

“Excuse me, Evans,” He said, pushing past her with a smile that probably scared Lily enough that she didn’t think to put up a fight, “I have three murders to commit tonight.”

[autumnalfallingleaves]

Maraja for the ship meme?

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa

Aja. I love her, but... yeah

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them

Mary- she's a total romantic, and a little rebellious to boot

Who starts the tickle fights

Actually, I despise being tickled myself, so I don't feel like answering this, sorry :/

Who starts the pillow fights

It's equal opportunity, really

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile

Mary. She's a total sap

Who mistakes salt for sugar

Aja lmao. Don't tell me you can't see that actually happening

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning

Mary, who then accidentally wakes Aja up, and they have popcorn together at one in the morning bc Aja wanted it lol.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines

Aja found a bunch online, and keeps trying them on Mary, who won't admit she actually finds them funny.

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order

Neither. I can see Mary arranging them by color, and Aja by however she sees fit, but not alphabetically.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies

Both! Mary gets the spoon and Aja gets the mixing bowl once all the batter's out.

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion

Aja. She's also the type to just stand at the candle display and smell every single one of them to see which ones she likes best

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen

Aja. Mary's more one to do someone's nails while they're sitting next to her

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation

Aja, 100%

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines

Mary, with Aja enthusiastically joining in, even if she doesn't fully understand them

♡ Send me a ship and I’ll tell you

[hiccstrxd]

Kisses from the moon

Hello! I wanted to write shameless fluff with lots of kisses and this is exactly what it is. I’d like to believe that for a first timer in the kissing department, I did it okay lmao

It's rated t btw. You can find it in ao3 as well. Enjoy!

Summary: She didn’t know how it happened, the only thing she recalls is that they had meant to depart with one chaste kiss on the lips and somehow it had quickly escalated to unknown territory, though for sure not quite an unpleasant one.

It hasn’t been that long since the battle of the Storm Spire and relationships among the neighboring kingdoms couldn’t be any more restrained — the shifting alliances have been slightly worrisome but the newly pledge between the Dragon Queen and the young King of Katolis compensate all the arising uncertainties, if just a little.

Rayla doesn’t know that much about politics but she supposes that last bit gave enough solace to the kingdom. A bright occurrence amidst the cataclysmic disputes and deadly wars.

And since this was now her home away from home, she was very well informed — rather unwillingly — in its state of affairs.

Both Callum and Ezran (and Bait too, apparently) had firmly made her know that if she was one hundred percent sure and at ease with the idea overall, she was more than welcome to stay in Katolis, no matter if it was merely a temporary arrangement. It took quite a lot of arguments and counterarguments from both parties and even further persuasion from the two brothers (and frog) for her to concede to the proposition with an underlying hesitation.

She was fairly certain that her residency in the kingdom — and in the castle no less — will not be as gladly received. She’ll have to withstand many scornful looks and insensitive judgments left and right, her presence won’t do any good there. Plus, she would feel so out of place and a little bit too conscience-stricken for her liking. But then again she didn’t have anywhere else to go, nowhere to call home.

It was all very confusing and frustrating, rightfully so.

Later that night, with the moonlight casting shadows over the two lovers that were basking in the company of one another and with no impending death hanging in the air, a five-fingered hand was tenderly holding her four-fingered one, a warm smile on each of their faces. Lazy strokes were traced on her wrist, going up to her palm and finally detouring to each of her fingers, making careless doodles with the tip of his forefinger. She let out a sigh of contempt.

A murmured ‘I love you’ was softly said to the wind followed by an imaginary heart being drawn on her palm.

She looked over at him. His eyes had softened a great deal and he now sported the gentlest of grins, he redrew the heart for emphasis. Rayla intertwined their fingers together and gave his hand an affectionate squeeze.

She’ll never get tired of hearing it.

“I love you, too.”

And maybe that was the little push that she needed to make up her mind.

That’s how she got here. In Katolis, she meant. Definitely not with her back pressed slightly against the wall and a pair of gentle hands that held onto her with urgency, if just a little shyly.

She didn’t know how it happened, the only thing she recalls is that they had meant to depart with one chaste kiss on the lips and somehow it had quickly escalated to unknown territory, though for sure not quite an unpleasant one.

They were both expected somewhere else, the kiss was just a farewell gesture, something to get them through the day until they could be close with each other again — which was most likely to be late at night or early morning for how tight their schedule was today.

Rayla needs to break it off. They need to get going. She doesn’t.

She felt his hands that were once placed safely on her waist, slowly trail down to rest on her hips with a lose grip. Hers started their journey upwards, tracing his neck with feather-light touches to finally cup each side of his jaw. Their lips moved against one another at a deliberately slow pace, their noses brushing every so often with each gentle pull.

They have kissed before, of course, but nothing like this.

A loving peck on the lips, a quick kiss on the forehead, even a small brush of lips against each knuckle. They had definitely had some kisses that had lasted more than they should have but even those seemed to be cut short. No, this is new.

The gap between them came to be nonexistent, their breaths mingling together in their shared space. She felt warmth blossom in her chest as he pulled her even closer, his thumb slowly drawing small circles on her hip and when she felt him smile against her lips she couldn’t help but let a small smile out too.

Kissing him has always felt quite exhilarating, a rush of feeling that made her heart soar and her mind numb. A tingling sensation that extended from the tip of her fingers up to her very lips, a warmth that consumed her and spread like a wildfire within. Rayla has never kissed anyone before — she hadn’t felt the need to, having little interest in that sort of matter before— but she had seen Runaan and Ethari display little shows of affections every so often, and as a kid, her inherent curiosity had led her to wonder how loving someone felt like.

Ethari had said that it was like holding your whole heart in between your hands, so delicate and precious that the rest of the world blurs and fades away having no point of comparison with its beauty. Runaan, ever the pragmatic, said that it was a matter of sentiment — you feel everything more intensely.

She reckons that both are quite true, to some extent. Though, she might add her own contribution to the mix: it felt like a typhoon of emotions all at once; you feel weak yet strong, confused yet never more certain in your life, vulnerable yet empowered. It’s warm-hearted, a tender gesture. But then again, it’s something that she cannot fully put into words because the concept is so abstract and the action is so blissful that no notion will ever do justice to what she feels.

Soft kisses soon became frenzied presses of lips and their hands seemed to have a mind of their own, moving on their own accord and trying to frantically touch every patch of skin, clinging to the fabric of clothes in an attempt to be closer. His breath faintly tickled the skin beneath her nose, their heartbeats rhythmically pounding against their chests, and the almost inaudible sighs of delight, whenever their lips brushed against each other, was all she could hear in the secluded corner of the castle. Her senses were overflowed with his presence.

She couldn’t help the soft gasp she let out when he gently bit her bottom lip and pulled it in between his own. It was definitely something they haven’t done before and the action's intimacy promptly took her off guard.

And then he was frantically pulling away, eyes wide with horror and with eyebrows that seemed to reach his hairline, his lips the tiniest bit swollen from their whole encounter. His hands were still on her hips but if he was desperately trying to bring her forward before, he was now doing his best to hold her at arm’s length.

He was quite a sight and she would find it in herself to poke fun at his ridiculous countenance if she didn’t think he was on the verge of a mental collapse.

“I-I’m so sorry, that was not— and I just— I got carried away... Not that that excuses it! I — oh Gods,” Callum stumbled over his words, hand clasped over his eyes, and shifting uneasily on both feet. Rayla had trouble deciphering the inarticulate unfinished sentences that were being stuttered past his mouth but his body language could clue her in.

She raised a single eyebrow whilst fighting an amusing smile from breaking out.

With tentative fingers, she reached forward to lace their fingers together with the hand that was covering his face, his momentary flinch didn’t go unnoticed as she did so.

“Hey,” she softly said with a small smile on her face because leave it to him to straight-up freak out during one of the most intoxicating kisses they have shared so far in their relatively new courtship. She gently rubbed her thumb on the side of his hand as a silent way to reassure him that it was all good. He visibly relaxed a tiny bit, though still showing a little apprehension for his actions done in the spur of the moment. “I liked it.” She shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes and she wanted to smack herself for the uncharacteristic demeanor.

She felt a coy smirk tug at the corners of her mouth, “I really liked it.” Rayla relished the way his face went from rueful to downright embarrassed, a deep flush spreading all over his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. She couldn’t stop the heartening laugh this time.

“O-oh?” She heard him mumble. He rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that was not holding hers, and she playfully rolled her eyes at her dorky human prince’s antics.

“In fact, I wouldn’t mind tryin’ it out again.” She said while mindlessly arranging the scarf on his neck that has become rumpled by her own doing. She looked at him solemnly, this being a little unfamiliar to both of them and the uncertainty of how to approach was slowly killing her. With a clear of his throat and his forest green eyes thoroughly searching hers to silently confirm what she had put into words, he shifted forward.

“Well, in that case,” He brought one hand to pull her closer while he raised the other one to caress her cheek lovingly. His eyes stared earnestly at her as if he could find all the wonders in the world by solely looking at her. It was wistful thinking, but she’d rather not dwell into that right now. Not when the only thing that matters was the blitheness from her heart and the prince that was the cause of it all.

He drew her toward him as the space between them once again diminished and with half-closed eyes, slightly pursed lips, and with the erratic thumps of the heart filling the air, they slowly leaned in again.

He nudged his nose against hers and placed a small kiss in the corner of her lips. Callum smiled, he went to do the same on the other side but she’d have none of it. She looped her forearms loosely at the back of his neck and lunged forward — she took delight in the muffled hum of surprise.

Their lips glided lazily but surely against each other, and this time — with the self-consciousness fading away and the overwhelming feelings of adoration rising in its place — the kiss quickly took a passionate turn. Fervent lips searched hers and she returned the gesture in equal measure.

When they came to this corner almost hidden from any prying eyes to share a light kiss, one which swiftly became so much more, Rayla had been concerned they would get caught. They never seemed to get any privacy in the heavily guarded walls of the castle and sneaking around resulted in their last resort, something that both thrilled her and troubled her; there was always a crown guard just around the corner, a handmaid that not so subtly eyed them from afar, or worse, the High Cleric that without fail appeared around inopportune instances.

The number of times she had wished the earth to open up and swallow her whole were unimaginable.

But now, as she now pulled his bottom lip in between her own, that thought was dismayed and stored in the back of her mind because kissing Callum made all of those seem as insignificant worries as every kiss felt like the very first one — she was sure there wasn’t a greater feeling than being in his arms. She could stay here forever.

That was until a nervous cough could be heard behind them, a few paces away from the darkened corner. They jumped apart.

“Prince Callum,” Corvus gave a slight bow, eyes not quite looking directly at the couple, “your presence is required in the throne room.” He cleared his throat, posture uptight as always but shifting from one leg to another rather uneasily.

Oh, sweet primals.

Rayla could already feel the burning sensation on her face and ears and quickly disentangled herself from his embrace in an attempt to put some proper distance between them. He was not expecting her briskly move and promptly stumbled over his own two feet, arms flailing to catch his balance before he fell somewhat unceremoniously on the ground below.

“Corvus, hi! Yeah, I was just on my way. I was just telling Rayla about the... uh,” He trailed off, unsure of what to say that would be credible enough to somehow cover up their real deed. Rayla was sure she was just about to die from embarrassment.

Corvus placed both his arms behind himself and with a deadpan expression affirmed, “I assure you, your highness, I do not need an explanation. It is all good. Nevertheless, let’s not keep the High Council and the King waiting, shall we?” Rayla could have guaranteed the corners of his mouth lifted in the slightest — almost imperceptible — in what she could only assume was amusement. “And Rayla, Soren is waiting in the courtyard for your daily training session.”

With that last bit, she nodded in acknowledgment and went straight to where she was initially supposed to be nearly fifteen minutes ago. And she almost gave Soren the triumph of his life since the only thing on her mind was how much she had enjoyed their little rendezvous and the excitement of its reprise was as annoying as it was enthralling.