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#i have never seen a fandom that's so delusional
shivieroy · 8 months
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damn the loki fandom can't even distinguish the words "canon" and "endgame" 😭
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eriexplosion · 2 months
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In a world where people understand the difference between criticizing how a writing choice was handled and criticizing characters we would avoid so many thousands of words about how everyone else is feeling Wrong about fictional media.
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zamalie · 1 year
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people cannot seem to be normal about Rebecca Sugar
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atlasofoverthinking · 2 months
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The Problem with the League of Villains
this is just me ranting after reading many people say that the lov deserved a better ending (i agree with them don't worry). most of that stuff has already been said but i'm bored and need something to write
so why is everyone disappointed?
by definition, an antagonist is someone that goes against the main character(s) and a villain is someone who does immoral and/or illegal things (wow, shocking)
so by definition, the league of villains is aptly named. shigaraki and dabi are mass murderers, toga is a killer too, and even if the others are 'less dangerous' they're all guilty of terorism and kidnapping a teenager.
not nice, right? then why would anyone would want them to have a good ending?
long story short: horikoshi made the league too sympathetic and relatable
when horikoshi has decided to make them funny, he's decided to make them likeable. that's not enough though. you can find a fictional villain funny and not root for them (for some reason the examples that comes to my mind are the disney villains. captain hook is hilarious but no one wants him to win)
the cause of everyone's disappointment is the relatable part. everyone in the league has gone through stuff viewers can relate. touya, shigaraki and toga have been abused; twice has mental health issues (and stuggling to get a job is relatable too lmao); spinner has been discriminated against... you get the idea
and even without knowing their backstory, most of the league's fights can be considered noble: they want to change society and make the world a better place. to take a more precise example, the league kidnapped bakugou because they thought he had gone through similar struggle as them
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(this is mr compress talking in chapter 85) as far as i've seen, most of the fandom either think bakugou being chained and muzzled at the end of the sport festival was just comic relief or agree that it was fucked up
so yeah, you can't put a group of people rejected by society, who just want a better world and expect people to not like them
and that's why their ending is disappointing (the rest contains heavy spoilers of the last few chapters of mha)
they're all either in jail or six feet underground. we rationally could understand it, they're all criminals/villains so of course they wouldn't get a happy ending and face consequences for their actions. the only one who could have gotten away with it is shigaraki because of all the grooming/brainwashing he's gone through and maybe toga because she's a child
but if you relate to a character, you want them to get a happy ending. of course fans would want dabi to be at peace, but instead he's forced to spend his last moments being stared at by his abuser). of course fans would want shigaraki to be free from afo (but instead his only freedom was death). of course fans would want toga to be understood and cared for (but she never had that opportunity)
that's not very 'save to win' out of you horikoshi
maybe it's just a shortcut made by the fandom, but the league are seen more as victims of abuse than actual criminals. i mean, what's more important in dabi's story? the fact that he burned himself alive after overworking himself to get his abusive father's attention, or the fact that he's burned people alive? probably both, but there's more focus on the first element.
and obviously we would want abuse victims to get a happy ending
basically, their ending isn't coherent with what we've seen of them, and that's why people are disappointed
btw, the same logic applies to stain. some fans agree with stain's reasoning bc he's fighting against corruption. of course, his logic is stupid and he's delusional but he's introduced not long after we've discovered shouto's past. you can't say "one of the most popular heroes is abusing + all he wants is to get n°1 to satisfy his own ego" and then follow with "see that guy fighting against corruption? he's bad, don't do that"
the clever way to make sure no one would agree with stain would have been to make the heroes fight against injustice with good methods. i live for the fanfics in which izuku takes down the hpsc
okay i'm done ranting thanks for reading
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witheverynesta · 2 months
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What gets me is that Feyre genuinely believes all High Lords should aspire to be like Rhysand, while simultaneously labeling Tamlin as a villain even after he apologizes and goes out of his way to save and help her, despite his court literally falling apart.
Rhysand, who abandoned 2/3 of his court, who leaves the CoN to be ruled by Kier (a disgusting, misogynistic man) and only goes there every once in a while to scare the citizens, who wholeheartedly believes Mor is the only "dreamer" there, who in his entire rule has never actually outlawed the clipping of wings (despite saying he did so — which I find hard to believe, considering the "most powerful High Lord in history" should be able to get a few things done in his 100+ years of ruling), who left his whole court undefended and open to Amarantha's beasts to protect Velaris, who sexually assaulted and drugged Feyre (therefore, making her unable to think of the riddle because of how disoriented she was), who hid the risks of the pregnancy from Feyre, who treats Nesta like shit (despite her, a human girl, willing to fight in the war for him), who sent her on dangerous missions and threatened to kill her knowing she was suicidal and depressed (but obviously his IC is allowed to grieve and make mistakes), and yet he is forgiven and seen as this misunderstood villain not just by delusional Feyre, but surprisingly, most of the fandom.
And then you have Tamlin whose court was targeted by an evil woman for 50 years, whose citizens were cursed, who had no one except Lucien, who had a whole court to protect and went to great lengths to ensure wasn't destroyed (such as sending his men to die, which he refused to even do at the beginning until they begged him), who treated Feyre with nothing but kindness, who saved her sisters and father, who killed Amarantha for her, who saved her from Hybern's hounds and saved her mate's life, and yet Rhysand does not let the man grieve and deal with his shit alone.
No one will tell you Tamlin is a good person, because he is not. He made mistakes, traumatized Feyre, betrayed Rhysand horribly, and treated Lucien like shit.
But the difference between the two is that SJM simply doesn't acknowledge the trauma Rhysand inflicted on Feyre, while agressively reminding us throughout the books of Tamlin's mistakes. Feyre is sexually assaulted by Rhysand to "protect" her (which he didn't even end up doing; in fact, he only attracted more attention to her), and people run with the excuse. Tamlin locks Feyre up to protect her (which Feyre ends up doing later on to Nesta, and she is forgiven for it), and people run for the streets to slander him.
Between the two, Tamlin will always be the better man.
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Addressing The Tinhatters: A Statement in Solidarity With @dtmsrpfcringe And Others
I've been active in this fandom for a little over a year, and in my time here I've kept my slate pretty clean. I try not to involve myself in drama and discourse, and when I see something I don't agree with online, most of the time I keep it to myself. I've been aware of the blogs I refer to in this post basically from the onset, but I've stayed quiet, partially to not come across as disrespecting others' opinions and preferences and partially to protect my peace and my own life as a creator. But what started as mostly harmless, if a bit unhinged and delusional, behavior, has turned on some fronts into unimaginable cruelty the likes of which I never imagined this fandom to be capable of. As someone who it seems people in this fandom have come to respect, I think it would be unfair and selfish for me to stay neutral any longer.
Fanfiction has been a genuinely transformative force in my life. It has helped me discover so much about my own relationships to love and desire, and I would never want to tell anyone that it is wrong for any ship to be that source of inspiration for them, including RPF. Nor do I think, as I've said, that it's inherently wrong to have speculative thoughts about David and Michael's sexualities. As someone who has been lucky enough to interact with David several times now, and probably will again, I choose not to do so myself in a public forum out of respect, but curiosity doesn't have to be invasive, and David and Michael being in loving partnerships with women certainly doesn't mean they can't be attracted to other genders too. There's nothing wrong with liking the idea of a relationship between David Tennant and Michael Sheen, or even, really, with believing they might have feelings for each other. If that's all you're doing, this post isn't about you. What I absolutely cannot excuse is the proliferation of hypocritical, nonsensical, and nasty rumors about the women in their lives.
Nothing Georgia Tennant or Anna Lundberg seems to do is ever good enough. Every expression of positivity is curated and phony, anything that could be perceived as negative vile and mean. I see these women attacked on a daily basis as partners, as mothers, as actresses. Georgia is simultaneously presenting a false ideal of a perfect, happy family for her own gains, while somehow at the same time being too irresponsible and incompetent to be a proper parent. Anna, a still young and up and coming actress herself, is expected to perform the ideal of an affectionate partner on social media, is perceived as unsupportive of Michael when she doesn't, when in reality she may simply be trying to make a name for herself in the industry without people solely associating her with the man she loves. Both of these women share in David and Michael's advocacy for marginalized communities, sometimes in different, more or less obvious ways. David and Michael are always brave and sincere, while Anna and Georgia's actions are always self serving and performative, though no evidence is ever given to indicate that the things they post or charities they support are any sort of cover or deflection. Nor are there ever any reasons given for their perceived lack of onscreen talent, other than that they're "boring" or don't have as many jobs as their husbands- never mind that both of them are in an extremely competitive industry and get perfectly respectable amounts of work, especially for mothers of young children. Worst of all, I've seen them accused of things as awful as child abuse and rape, all for the crime of simply being married to the wrong men. It's all so horribly gendered too, David and Michael often referred to as the "men" while Georgia and Anna are reduced to negative stereotypes of nagging, shallow gold diggers. As a fandom populated with so many queer people, many of whom, myself included, have found freedom from gender roles with Michael and David's characters' help, I thought we knew better.
I've been lucky enough to meet both David and Georgia now, and have witnessed firsthand the easy, joyful affection they have for each other when no one of consequence is watching, the way they giddily hold hands on the street and make each other laugh while tenderly looking into each other's eyes even and especially after sixteen years together. Georgia when I met her was incredibly kind, down to earth, and approachable, and my partner, who's met her several times more than I have, gushes about her constantly- how funny, authentic, and intelligent she is, and of course, how much she and David love each other, how they look out for each other and adore each other's flaws and quirks. David of course still gushes about Georgia every chance he gets in speeches and interviews, her strength and brilliance as well as her beauty, and Georgia, while maybe not always as effusive, shows her love for David in plenty of ways, the beautiful candid photos she takes of him, for instance. There's such a soft, painterly tenderness and fondness in them, for the man, not just the dazzling star everyone else gets to see. Her David, gentle, devoted, goofy, aging, melancholy, imperfectly perfect David. Where would we be without Georgia giving us these little glimpses of him? I suspect the same people who deride Georgia's social media presence as try-hard, cringeworthy, artificial, would feel a bit differently if one day they stopped coming.
I can't speak as clearly on behalf of Anna and Michael, but the accounts I've gotten of her and Michael's relationship from eyewitnesses have presented it as no less loving than David and Georgia's, albeit in slightly different ways. Even then, why should I have to? She doesn't owe me anything. I doubt anyone who's made the posts accusing Anna and Georgia of being nasty baby trappers has ever had children. There's no such thing as a perfect mother, and even one child is a massive task. It's normal to not be a shining ray of affection all the time, and Georgia I know more than makes up for it with her fierce love and support for her children in all of their endeavors. Georgia is also a diagnosed neurodivergent woman, and so many of the remarks I see directed at her are clearly discriminatory and often directed at women with her diagnoses. Everyone coos over how charming David is when he shows signs of being AuDHD, but the second his wife does too, she's careless and cold. And don't even get me started on when photos of Michael and David looking anything less than beatifically happy get interpreted as them being miserable due to their wives treating them so poorly. THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS!!! NEUTRAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EXIST!!! WOULD YOU BE A SPARKLING RAY OF SUNSHINE IF YOUR DISNEYLAND RIDE GOT STUCK!!!
I say all this now not even because I think I have any hope of stopping the people in question, but because one of the main fighters on the front of the opposition, @dtmsrpfcringe, has been both a wonderful online friend to me and dealt with even worse abuse than that which gets hurled at Anna and Georgia on the daily. When my blog was briefly overrun by TERFs in light of the Tennant/Badenoch/Sunak drama, Tori was the first person to stand up for me, and as she recieves more vitriol in one day than I've ever experienced in my entire life online, I think I've taken far too long to do the same for her. This woman has dealt with doxing threats, attacks on her character, and most horrific of all, wishes of death upon her and her baby. No one would blame her for stopping, but she has remained steadfast in her mission to call bs where she sees it, and she shouldn't have to do it alone. Tori, I think you are so brave, and I am proud to stand in solidarity with you against the misinformation, meanness, and misogyny that threaten to corrupt this fandom we call home.
Even after all we've been through over the past couple of months, I still believe the Good Omens fandom and David and Michael's individual fandoms to be places of kindness, empathy, and inclusivity. Which is why such cruel behavior (because there's no other word for it) is utterly disappointing and baffling to me. You should be utterly ashamed of yourselves. You're the exact kinds of people David and Michael speak out against on a weekly basis, and I guarantee that if you engage in the kinds of behavior I've highlighted here, they would be disgusted with you. Or maybe they'd simply pity you, because your lives are so empty that you've decided the only way to fill them is to sacrifice the reputations and peace of innocent women on the altar of a relationship that in all likelihood takes place solely in your own heads.
And if you read all this and find you still ship David and Michael, which even I do sometimes, well, there's always polyamory.
I'm sleepy! good night and kindly fuck off! - Lauren
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i for once want to get the opinion of a "rational" jikooker who knows how to take a step back and take certain things for what they are and i wanna know your opinion or interpretation of jikook in chap2 and them not meeting and also that conversation they had in the car about that please.
And you thought I'm that rational person? Funny.
You know, there's something I always disliked about being in this fandom space. I mean, there's plenty of other things, don't get me wrong, but this one in particular really irks me. It's the need for approval, for confirmation of one's thoughts. There's a severe lack of independent thought. It might be hidden under apparent strong opinions, but when you look at how those opinions are spread to anon messaging to bloggers everyday, that's a sign that the complete opposite happens.
Jikook as a kpop ship always has to be questioned. At this point, I think it's part of its narrative as a ship. But what's curious (and stupid) is that the hardest line of questioning comes from the ones who consider themselves interested/curious. But make no mistake, this is not done for the sake of not becoming delusional and discard any rational thought. It happens because of the need for approval.
You sent me this ask because you hope for me to agree with your own thoughts about jikook and what that conversation in the car means. Not for them actually, but for you. And you're not the only person. A sure sign of fandom insanity is debating for over 2 weeks now a conversation that is not only heavily editated, it is mediated as well. It takes place in the context of a show for fans in which participants are two people who will never reveal everything about their lives. And on top of that, there's an intentional need to ignore that people can speak in hyperbole, that people can ommit or say one thing that actually means more or another that only the other person is capable of understanding the nuances of that.
Communication is complex. We do know that because we engage with it everyday. Except we forget all that the moment we have to talk about this specific ship. We forget a lot of things about human behavior, relationships, etc. It is an intentional act. So we start writing fanfictions. We start making relationship timelines. We start taking about temporary or definitive break ups of a ship that hasn't even been confirmed as a couple. At this point, shippers operate into this alternative universe sphere, canon adjacent but instead of doing it on ao3, they use their blogs and anon messages for that. But hey, fanfics on ao3 are a lot of the times the work of talented writers, while 500-1000 words essays on tumblr are simply a complete waste of time after the first paragraph.
Is this what you would consider a rational perspective? Or should I start writing down a timeline of all the times in which JM and JK have met in "Chapter 2" up until NY in July? (As if in reality their lives are actually separated that clearly, as if a break in band work completely defines their personal lives, jesus christ!). So, should I note down all the public events that they've been to? And to draw a conclusion from it to prove or disprove that the amount of times they've seen each other is reflective or not of what they said in the car when they left for their trip? Of course, we should ignore that there's an entire life outside of what we see.
And that's the thing, you know? We all supposedly agree that they actually share little of their lives with their fans, but practically? The fandom doesn't really give a shit. Because of the classic parasocial relationship we have developed that makes us believe we know everything there is to know.
What we are allowed to see and what we hear from whispers here and there should allow us to realize that no theory over a supposed relationship is better than the other. Believing they are just friends, that they have broken up, that they are fwb and so on is in no way more rational that believing they are together.
What does this mean? If none of us are wiser? It means we have a choice. Some are choosing to be losers or little bitches crying in anon asks about their "insecurities" over a ship. Some are choosing to look at this ship as a duo that includes two people who have really good chemistry and who match each other's freak.
I've always been in the latter category, I thought that was obvious and I've said it before. If one day Jimin makes a public statement that he's marrying the love of his life, a sweet girl that is also the mother of his 5 secret children, then so be it. And if one day, Jungkook shows up one day after he decided to run away and join a bike gang where he met his boyfriend, then so be it. If somehow that next day, a jikook clip would turn up on my tl in which Jimin is brushing his teeth while straddling Jungkook, my reaction would be "well, jikook fuck. Often". You know why? Because for me, the public life of stars and what they choose to share is entertainment. A travel show, a wlive, concerts, these are all forms of entertainment. I do not consume my entertainment by being a loser on the internet, pondering if my assessment over two people might be fucking is real or not or is approved by other people.
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asmolfolk · 5 months
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Boothill Romantic Headcanons.🍓☽。・:*:・
Just a quick heads up: This character had their history and dialogues leaked, if you haven't seen the leaks and don't to be spoiled by the character backstory: Please, save this to read for later! Stay safe! Also, as always: I will always try to make this as neutral as possible. Informations that could potentially be Canon x OC are NOT there (Such as your region, what you work with and etc.) And also, I use He/them for Boothill as I headcanon him as nbmasc!
Fandom: Honkai Star rail. Character: Boothill Idea: "How would the characters be as romantical partners?" TW: SPOILERS! 🍓☽。・:*:・
Boothill
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Falling in Love.
Who fell in love first?
He fell first.
If you saw the leaks you know… This man can’t cry, this man lost everything that he once owned. His planet was considered uncivilized from the IPC, he lost everyone he cared about in one day. He became “Boothill”, a cyborg that hated the IPC… And, so, there’s the question: How did you fall for him? He can’t catch this. He doesn’t understand WHY or, better, HOW someone could ever love him. He wasn’t even HUMAN anymore, how could someone love “something” like that? Yet, you came. As a breeze in the summer, as a sweet taste in an unknown mix… You weren’t supposed to have his heart in your hands… But you have. Maybe it was the way you kept on talking to him, kept on helping him out whenever and anywhere. You two started to form some sort of alliance and have someone so pretty, such a pretty pal… Was not okay with his mechanical heart. ━────━━────━━────━━────━━────━━────━
How do they notice they have fallen in love?
He couldn’t understand WHY or HOW he fell in love. But, he realized that when he was talking to you and he started to feel some heat when he saw your smile, heard your laugh or just held your hand, he felt like he could combust. This was enough for him to realize that he liked you, but… Not that he was falling in love. He wasn’t stupid, he knew the details - he knew when he was in love with someone, even if he never felt it so deeply like this. But, even then, it was too early. You had known each other only for a few weeks, he decided to wait… And when he noticed some action on your part or even something that he could be delusional over you liking him back… ONLY THEN, he would confess. ━────━━────━━────━━────━━────━━────━
Confession.
Who confessed first?
It depends.
Now, we came into a difficult subject. Even if I said that he would confess… If he never saw something that could clarify his head and to make sure you like him back, he wouldn’t confess. Now, the reasoning: He already lost so much. Somewhere in his head, being with another person can mean a lot of things… And one of them is feeling, he doesn’t know how he will handle not being able to cry, not being able to feel you with all his body. He doesn’t want to make you suffer… So, if he doesn’t see anything: He wouldn’t confess.
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And there he was, overthinking every single little thing that happened in those couple of weeks… And he couldn’t get his head in the problem that he built. Do you love him or not?
He was asking himself this question over every communication that you guys had, he would do anything to try to prove to himself that you don’t. Every action you take, everything that you do… Oh, those little things that he loved. Every single movement was put into his hard drive, his memory wouldn’t let him know how much he loves you… And, just like that…
You don’t know how surprised he was when those words came out of your mouth. He would ask you to repeat your confession, again, again and again… IF only he could cry while listening to you, pouring your heart out to him…. Oh, darling, he loves you way too much. He would immediately hold you and spin you around, he wants you to feel what he can’t… To feel his loving hands holding you just like the awesome, pretty and important lil’ thing.
“Hah, Doll… Didn’t expect ya’ to be so forward… Are my actions not enough answer? I want ya’ too. I love ya’… And I don’t think I will ever feel something like this again.” - He said, his words were sugarsweet and held a sincerity that no one could ever see before.
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Now… What if he confesses first? What could potentially happen if Boothill decides: “Fudge this! Let’s do it”?
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 You knew something was happening when Boothill was not looking directly at you. They seemed to be a bit off today, holding a box that he seemed to grip a bit too strongly while they guided you to a private place.
 It was one of the calmest day in your life… For once, you could enjoy their company happily. You two were alone, sitting close to the hill while looking at the sky… It was already night, but, somehow, you didn’t feel tired.
“Darlin’...” - They called, seemed to be thinking a bit too much before they let the box right in your lap - “Juss’ wanna make sure you… Understand it.”
 When you opened the box, it had everything you talked to them about. Every item you liked, every item you told them you would love to receive from a boyfriend… For a second, you thought they misunderstood you until you reached for a letter, it had their black lipstick and just a simple phrase: “Wanna be my partner forever?” with a silly doodle of them.
 They, seeing your reaction, would say; “Just to make sure: It’s romantical alright? I wouldn’t do this kind of thing for some friend… Just for you.”
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Language of Love.
What's their language of love?
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Quality of Time, Gifts and Words of Affirmation.
Now, HEAR. ME. OUT. This dude, this bro, this cowboy bebop!!!!! They want NOTHING but you to be happy, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU WANT: YOU GET! THEY DON’T SEE REASONS OR ANY ARGUMENT FOR NOT MAKE YOU THEIR QUEENIE/KINGIE/ROYAL! The truth is: Boothill feels like his words, his time and gifts are the only thing that he can do to make things “better”. He can’t… Feel you the way he wants, he can’t cry for you, he can’t provide you with those things - so he provides you with things he can. He can tell you how pretty you are, how amazing you are, how everything you do is incredible. He can gift you - He can give you anything you want, he can go into an adventure and come back with so many gifts that your house gets flooded with them. He normally comes home with a lot of gifts, so: When you pull for him, remember that! He also makes sure to spend lots and lots of time with you. Always making sure for you to feel loved and unmatchable!
“Ma doll, didn’t expect you to be here so soon! Well, look at the goods I got ya. Hm, hm… Yeah, I know that it’s too much, but all of them remind me of ya’ pretty face. Especially those lil’ cat cakes thingies.” - They would chuckle as he saw your reaction… It was those moments that made him sure: He may have lost his family but he found a new one.
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Reaction of your language of love.
Lemme tell you one thing: He doesn’t care, he is gonna take all of your love like the greedy robocop he is. He says he doesn’t have a preference and he is going to love everything you give to him, but the truth is: NOTHING shows him more love than you just being yourself. Not you trying to make him feel loved or anything, just you being you. You doing things you love, you talking to people about your favorite things… All those little situations are enough for him. He loves it. But, being honest here… I think he loves the way you touch his face - THIS MAN IS TOUCH STARVED - it’s actually the only place he can feel. He feels like - for just a moment - you two could be a normal couple. ━────━━────━━────━━────━━────━━────━
As boyfriend/partner.
How do they treat you?
Do I need to repeat myself? HE LOOOVES YOU SO SO MUCH! He is 100% one to take you out to many different places just because he wants to see you smiling for a bit. When you two start dating, he seems to be on cloud 9 for the first time in forever… He is still asking you to repeat those three words that make his mechanical heart plump as if it was human's. He still asks you to accompany you instead of asking you for a date. Give him a bit of time, he’s still understanding that you truly accepted his confession and that you didn’t leave him behind. Sometimes, when you two sleep close or together he stops everything he’s doing just to observe you, to have every moment with you in his memory card. In those moments, he normally notices: “You are real, THIS is real.” You would receive double the care on those moments, being treated just like the sweet lil’ thing you are. He would say some corny shit, I will admit. He is the type to make jokes just to crack a smile on you, he is also always trying to make you feel lighter - feel like you have no such thing as a sad day and to make you… Feel like you could fly, be free for once.
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Jealous.
 I’ll tell you: I THINK HE’S A JELLY GUY!  Boothill gets jealous more to think: “You are going to leave him for someone that CAN feel you.” and he just can’t let that happen, right? He wants to be with you and he is scared that, maybe, you will come to the realization that you aren’t interested in this mess anymore.  He is a scared man, scared of losing the only family he has left.
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Resume.
As a boyfriend, Boothill is a sweet and loving one. Yeah, you guys can have REALLY nasty discussions that can only result in both of you getting hurt, but, HE IS ALWAYS THE ONE to come up to you - telling you that you two need to talk without fighting. He is also someone who will cherish you. As I’m married to him I can assure you: He is going to be a perfect hubby… You just need patience!
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animeyanderelover · 6 months
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Hello can I request a yandere indra + madara, obito, sasuke, itachi and shisui x goddess reader. The reader is a goddess of serenity, beauty, strength and healing. Thank you very much.
I just love how the Uchiha blood line has just the whole Naruto fandom in a chokehold. I have never not met a person who wasn’t at least down bad for one of them.
@shumidehiro @swagenemyartisan
Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, delusional thoughts, threats, manipulation, paranoia, death
Goddess s/o
Indra Otsutsuki
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💜Indra is one of the last people you will see bowing down to anyone after he has abandoned his father and brother. Instead he is the one who expects people to bow down to him as he is essentially a god with the powers he has obtained after having killed his two close friends in exchange for more power. It is that very arrogance that keeps him from even bowing his head to you. It is almost ironic how he has cursed his father for claiming that love would be the greatest power yet finds himself going through a similar experience when he is face to face with you for the first time. There is an ethereal glow around your body that sets you apart from the mortal humans, that sets you apart from him as he stares at you. Even after you fade away from his vision, his gaze remains fixated on the spot where you just were a few seconds ago. His mind is spinning, drowning in the images of the short glimpses he was able to catch of you. He wants to see you again. In your otherworldly presence he has finally felt something he hasn’t felt ever since he left his village and has been plagued by restlessness. He feels peace.
💜He doesn’t plan to join your group of worshippers but he sticks around them and the shrine they have created in hopes of catching a glimpse of you again. As enchanted as Indra may be, there is a volcano of twisted emotions that is just brooding inside of him. Your status as a goddess disturbs him and that disturbance has been inside of him ever since he has been humbled and humiliated by Ashura in the fight that tore all bonds he had previously held. Deep down he fears a repeat of this experience, of another loss of his, if he were to ever try to force you to join his side. He feels an overwhelming need to dominate you, to stand above you and force you via that into submission. He needs the reassurance of holding control as he would otherwise be too paranoid about you eventually beating him just like Ashura. Yet you two live in different worlds as you only rarely visit the realm of humans and it fills him with a poison called helplessness that he despises. His mind spirals into violent insanity as he will gladly burn down all of your followers and even your own shrine if you will answer the call of his obsession.
Madara Uchiha
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🌑Madara has never prayed to anyone before. He has trained to stand as the head of his clan and he has achieved it all with his own strength and willpower. Yet his interest is immediately captured when he actually finds a real goddess that personifies strength and beauty. In a way he is almost instantly enraptured but don’t expect him to go down on both knees for you as Madara has never shown submission to anyone. Even your status as a goddess won’t force him to throw away his pride. Your ancient position as a goddess is still enough to earn you his respect, especially if he sees your powers in action. You carry yourself with a wisdom and elegance he would expect from someone who has existed for millennia as you have and you possess such beauty and serene composure that any mortal woman pales in comparison to you in every category. Ever since the day he has seen you, he hasn’t been able to give his attention nor interest to any women the clan has offered him as a potential bride. None of them could come even close to you so he ruthlessly rejects them all. He has only one woman in his heart he wants as a bride. You.
🌑Even if he may be blasphemous for yearning to claim a goddess as his possession, Madara doesn’t care. He has set his sights on you and nothing can stop him now. He’s persistent and stubborn, determined to marry you. Unfortunately you aren’t that easy to detect as you reside in a realm where humans can’t follow so he instead tracks down your followers and your shrine. Perhaps your subjects can be of use to help him to see you again. Now, Madara will be man enough to ask you for your hand in marriage when he sees you again and he isn’t opposed if you would play a bit hard to get so he can prove himself to you. If your opinion would stand firm that you don’t want to marry him though, things will look not pretty. In the traditional Uchiha fashion Madara’s feelings burn brighter than the sun and nothing can extinguish the fire in his heart. Once he has decided that only you will do for him, he will do everything in his strength to have you. He knows that he is potentially picking a fight with a goddess but he doesn’t fear the risk of such a battle. If he must fight against you to force you to stay by his side, so be it.
Obito Uchiha
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🔥Ever since Rin’s death, ever since his innocence has been shattered, Obito has been living in hell. Life on earth has become synonymous with suffering and evil for him as his heart hasn’t known peace and joy since years. That’s when you two cross paths as he finds your abandoned shrine within the woods. As soon as he lays his eye on you, it’s like his crippled heart is healing as he feels serenity and calmness wrapping itself around him like a warm blanket. All caution and hostility melts away as the Uchiha can only stare at you in dreamy awe as you look at him with such dazzling eyes. The moment you disappear, it feels like a hole has opened in his heart that is aching. His gaze lands on the dirty and old shrine and suddenly there is a rage filling Obito as he realizes that the followers who used to care for your house on earth have abandoned it and have abandoned you by doing so. You poor thing. How must it feel for a goddess to be slowly forgotten? He starts tending to the shrine from that day on as he cleans it from the moss and visits it daily. He knows that you’re watching him whenever he feels his heartbeat calming down.
🔥He feels like the shrine is the place where only the two of you exist as your aura lulls him into a peacefulness he didn’t know that he could feel. Obito actually starts praying to you and he feels empowered whenever he does so as he likes to imagine that you bless him with the strength he needs to change this world. Soon he finds himself becoming addicted to your presence that fills him with such bliss and starts feeling stressed out when he can’t sense you. He likes to delude himself into thinking that both of you have suffered from the ignorance of the humans around you and that soon leads him to the conclusion that only you could ever understand him and he could only ever understand you. Whenever you show yourself to him, he’s talking like you are a frightened baby deer as he promises you revenge for the people who abandoned and forgot you and that he will never do as your former followers did. He will never allow anyone else to intrude in his little paradise where only him and you exist and longs for the day when you will finally allow him to show you the loyalty and love he feels for you.
Shisui Uchiha
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🍂Religion can truly become a terrifying thing when it is used to oppress people. It is your cult that falls victim to Shisui on a mission as he is sent to the village they have temporarily settled down to enforce the laws of their own beliefs there. It is in the very temple they have been building by using the villagers as workers that Shisui has his first encounter with you. You have a heavy aura around you as you stare at him, as dignified and proud as a goddess standing for strength is meant to be even if your facial expression is a mellow one. Then there is Shisui, standing in the half-finished shrine of yours with the corpses of your followers lying around his feet. There is a thick silence where Shisui is silently preparing himself to be attacked by you yet he only receives a nod from you that almost looks like a sign of gratitude before you vanish. No one else has seen you yet he’s convinced that it wasn’t an illusion. Too troubled to leave the village without getting his confirmation that you were real, he steals necklace from one of your followers which is meant to help your followers to stay in contact with you.
🍂Visions and glimpses as fleeting as a shooting star haunt him from that day on and if anyone else but Shisui would have stolen the artifact, they would have probably lost their mind already. He knows exactly that he can’t tell anyone about your existence as they wouldn’t believe him and label him as a lunatic in the worst case. It’s like you are constantly observing him. Your presence is like a warm gentle rain that engulfs him constantly and the occasional brush of your hands against his skin a delicate sensation that has his whole body tingling. Until eventually Shisui finds his eyes constantly searching for you, an almost queasy feeling in his stomach when he can neither see nor sense you. You have given him your blessing and your protection after he has cleared your name of the traitors who have been abusing your image for such crude actions. Shisui wonders if you already know that his own strong feelings you have admired upon first meeting him have already been twisted because of you. He secretly builds you a small shrine where he also hides the necklace, well aware that they will tie you one way or another to his village.
Itachi Uchiha
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🍡Itachi, despite his normally cold facade, is deep down also a deeply troubled person who is drowning in the sorrow of what he had to do to his own clan and family. Around you the silent ache gets soothed, even if it’ll never fully disappear. From the Uchiha clan Itachi is most likely one of the calmer ones and the one who will actually put the respect on you that you deserve without overwhelming you. He has enough on his mind already after all but he at times feels a tad bit honored that you decided to show yourself to him out of curiosity when you saw him passing through the forest with your shrine. Your presence is quite enjoyable and that isn’t only because you are a goddess of serenity and beauty but also because you could almost be mistaken as a normal human if it wouldn’t be for the halo around you. You don’t act like what he would have expected from a goddess of your caliber but instead you are curious, humble and get childishly excited when he brings you food because you normally don’t get such stuff in the realm where you live. Your curiosity about the most mundane stuff is sometimes downright amusing.
🍡As an Akatsuki member, Itachi is already put under a lot of isolation. He only has Kisame as a work partner and now there is also you with whom he can spend time with. Itachi really appreciates this. The fact that you have an entire cult at your disposal yet you only really show yourself to him flatters him more and more as time passes on. Even if he can’t see you, he can certainly sense you and even that is enough for him. It is quite ambiguous coming from him but despite the crimes that he has committed, Itachi has still morals. He got too comfortable with you, has allowed himself to delve too deep into those emotions and now he has no way out anymore. You two are so different. You are a celestial being that is essentially immortal and he is only human. He’s probably only going to be a fleeting moment in your life but his emotions has long left his control and act unreasonable. Despite applying all logic to his case, his own emotions don’t want to listen to him as they long to be with you. His determination to die at the hands of his brother waver greatly the longer he spends time with you, a gravity pulling him towards you.
Sasuke Uchiha
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💙If Sasuke becomes fixated on a person, he is ready to go to great lengths and throw everything and everyone around him away to reach his goal. It applies to his desire for revenge as well as the intense obsession he develops that is centered around you. He has never believed in any celestial existence as the extermination of his entire clan has taught him that there is no such thing as a god protecting the people in his land. But your existence proves him otherwise. Even amidst his obsession, there is this burning bitterness and rage he holds against you though. Where has been your protection when his entire clan was eradicated? Why didn’t you do anything? There is pain even amongst his anger as he lashes out on you and blames you. He doesn’t care about the fact that you are a literal goddess. Your powers can’t be good for anything after all if you just allow the people in the Leaf Village to commit such a genocide. He wants answers, demands them, just to understand why it had to be his clan that had to suffer so much yet you can’t give him those answers. Instead there is a pitiful look on your face that almost drives him mad.
💙He hates how your mere presence always manages to drain all negative energy from him as he feels like his own emotions are controlled when he is around you yet it has never stopped him from approaching you. The grudge he holds against you and others of your kind for doing absolutely nothing to prevent the death of so many people. You probably think that you’re better just because you are a goddess, don’t you? Despite this, his anger almost seems to fuel his obsession with you. Sasuke yearns to have you, to be in possession of you and he is also steered by a desire to be in control of you. You are used to everyone being beneath you and as if to punish you for your ignorance about his own clan’s tragic fate, Sasuke wants to show you what it feels like to struggle and to experience helplessness. He doesn’t know just yet if he can beat you in a fight and he is wise enough to not underestimate you but he swears to you that one day he will gain enough power to keep you permanently by his side and to teach you not to pity him. And he’s getting stronger and stronger with each passing day…
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Why so much Solavellan hate?
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Whether I was blissfully ignorant or simply lucky before, but I never have seen so much negativity towards people, who romanced Solas in all eleven years of being a part of the fandom as I did in the last weeks.
"Solas doesn't care about her", "It's been 10 years, they moved on", "You are not default Inquisitor, stop asking for much", "Stop asking for solavellan content in DATV", "This story was never about Lavellan, Solas woudn't spare her", "Stop being delusional - Lavellan isn't special, his friendship ark has the same impact".
First of all, why the fuck do you care? It's a single player game. Everyone has the canon they create. My choices does not impact yours in any way.
Secondly, who are you to tell me what my character is feeling? What can and can't I hope for?
Thirdly, it's you who are delulu, if friendship and love is the same thing in life. While friendship with Solas still impact his view on modern people, Inquisitor isn't the one solely responsible for it. To get "You showed me that I was wrong" line in Trespasser, you have to have 1 approval from Solas. Again, one. His banter with companions (Cassandra, Varric, Dorial, Iron Bull, Blackwall, even Sera) - all of it shows how gradually he opens up. He is ready to challenge his views. He does change them. In Teviwnter nights or comics taking place after Trespasser, Solas doesn't want to hurt people. He tries to minimize the risk. He talks with Varric ffs in DAV prologue. All of it exists even if Inquisitor and Solas hated each other. So no, neither Inquisitor, nor romanced Lavellan is the reason why Solas decided not to be cruel. It's in his nature.
The romance is not about "loving her convinced him not to kill modern people". It's about respect, patience, kindness and being gentle with each other. It's about understanding and accepting that trust is hard for Solas. It's about understanding and accepting that Solas has to hurt Lavellan by leaving her to spare further, much bigger pain of realizing men she is with is a persona. It's about forgiveness and love persevering. It's not about his plans for the veil/evanuris/spirits etc. It's about Solas and Lavellan as two people who fell in love.
Solavellan as a group kept this fandom alive during years of silence. It has gathered numerous fantastic, beautiful and talented people who made art, researched lore, shared fanfics. Why does it bother you when someone finds something to enjoy and isn't hiding it?
ffs
those haters didn't even listed to Solas and Lavellan banters, and they think of themselves as judges of truth, smh
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everythingblog1256 · 3 months
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can i genuinely ask, as someone who is a non-shipper, what the big deal with the gojohime ship is, why does everyone act like gojohime killed their parents?? the discourse has been all over twitter these past few days. if a ship is legal then go for it, these two are legal adults so what’s the big deal. also, since when did ships have to even make sense? i’ve seen people ship characters that have had one interaction, no interactions, hate each other/are mortal enemies, one of the characters might even be in a relationship with someone else, i’ve even seen people ship characters from two completely different series…like calm down. i thought people shipped for fun, why are you so pissed that someone ships something different, in a manga that has little to do with romance? “gojohime shippers mischaracterise her”, please, whenever i click on someone’s account that says this i always see a certain mlm pairing in the jjk fandom (im sure you know who) that are getting mischaracterised to oblivion. anyone in fandom knows one thing and that’s “Ship and let ship” it’s so easy to block/mute accounts or tags if you don’t want to see them, for your own sanity just do it because the amount of agitation i see people have because of a fictional ship consisting of a bunch of lines on paper is concerning. “it’s misogynistic to ship them” and calling actual real live breathing women “delusional bitches” or to “stfu” even to the point of wishes of sexual harm or wishes of death because of a ship is not misogynistic? grow up. no, just because someone ships them doesn’t mean they are “homophobic” either, in fact many of them ship other pairings as well that consists of m/m or f/f or are even queer themselves. please put all this energy into calling out fans that actually ARE homophobic.
also i just want to end this by saying there is officially 1 canon pairing in the series (it isn’t even really since Akutami never continued the relationship in the manga) confirmed by Akutami himself and that’s Miwa and Mechamaru (Source: Akutami’s Mando Kobayashi 2021 Interview), those two are the only ones he sees romance between in the series. no ship is more canon than any other ship and that’s that, leave people to ship what they want and stop crying when someone has a ship differing from yours.
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pixiecactus · 3 months
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jonsa shippers are the funniest clowns i've ever seen, i just read them going: "jon and sansa share so many parallels and it's such a shame we are the only part of the fandom willing to talk about them", like... can you stop for merely a second of your time and start thinking about the reason behind why it is like that?
there's nothing wrong with shipping a crackship, but at least own it, the fact you're so delusional about your ship and most of you actively insult and steal plotpoints from the only two characters who have actual romantic foreshadowing with jon: daenerys and arya, is something to consider about.
do you ever wonder why stansas are the only ones shipping jonsa? jon's fans would never touch that ship even with a ten foot pole. i would dare to say that if you ship jon snow with sansa, i'd assume you hate book!jon a lot, to actually do him like that.
also, another day another stansa lying about their fave canon personality and actual role in the asoiaf series, and playing victim when they're called out about being inaccurate in it. with nothing more to say that "you guys just hate femenine women" i mean the choice of word they used was "useless", because it always come back to thinking that everyone who dares to critique a stansa's post that is plagued with lies is a reddit dude bro... and i don't have doubts that type of people do exist, but i'm still waiting to encounter one in the wild.
y'all got your stansa's fic fantasy dreams fullfiled with the actual show that aired, honestly speaking i'm surprised that stansa d1 and stansa d2 weren't down to make jonsa happen, since they had already ruined the show with all the stansa propaganda they put on it (i suppose even people like them have limits). just stop trying to pass horrible plotpoints written by dumb&dumber as something that's actually asoiaf related.
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jmdbjk · 13 days
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In my purest delusions and unpopular opinions...a random list.
My delusions and opinions.
More for my own sanity: Jimin and Jungkook are safe and sound with trusted fellow soldiers surrounding them every day. They fulfill their daily activities and are feeling some level of accomplishment, satisfaction and pride through them. In my purest delusion, they are insulated from the negativity going on in the outside world due to their isolated location. They are only told what they need-to-know. Of course, they are up-to-the-minute informed about the things that are pertinent to their current duties but in my purest delusion, they are not aware of the vilest of vile things that have been going on. There is no need for them to be distracted by it at the moment.
Opinion: Hanteo Chart is corrupt and inaccurate because it is owned by Kakao which also owns SM Entertainment so that renders that chart meaningless. Regarding BTS or the members' winning any of these, the Fact Music Awards and VMAs are worthless because many of their awards are fan-voted and they use that for engagement. None of these awards have any impact on BTS's or the members' success. These days, they only serve the fans' egos. Though of course, for other groups who are not BTS, any award is important.
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Opinion: Most people do not thoroughly process and comprehend what they read online. A lot of what the fandom believes is from the power of suggestion. Even I am influenced by this phenomenon. If I am very acutely interested and invested I will devour every detail of a situation, but as soon as my interest wanes, that energy dissipates and I just take what I read in headlines as the status of the situation (the power of suggestion) and it may or may not be 100% accurate.
Opinion: Social media posts that are not complete thoughts or sentences that are grammatically incorrect due to author error or lack of language/writing skills are easily misunderstood and have the ability to spread misinformation and misunderstanding which can be difficult and sometimes impossible to undo. Such is the nature of social media. Its the doom of humankind as we know it.
In my purest of delusions, when Jimin and Jungkook are discharged, they will move into that black metal fortress that Jungkook built. It is a huge structure with 5 floors and a beautifully landscaped outdoor area. Jungkook being a not very social person, there is no reason to have such a large house. His best friend/partner/lifelong significant other, will move in with him. They will live there peacefully behind those tall secure walls. Jungkook will exploit his newly acquired cooking skills to his heart's content in his wildly expensive and fully equipped kitchen. Bam will have the run of the house and a doggie door so he can go in and out whenever he wants.
Opinion: We must stop saying "we were cheated out of this," "we were deprived of seeing this between them," "they edited it, why didn't they show us all of it!" "when will they say this or tell us that?" It is not our right to claim ownership of things that are not ours. It is not ours to decide if we see things between Jimin and Jungkook. Those things belong to them. To claim we are being cheated is pure selfishness. Am I guilty of saying this? Yes. And its not right. I will do better. They show us A LOT. A LOT, A LOT already.
In my wildest and purest virgin delusion: Filming for Are You Sure? season 4 (Jungkook said Sapporo was season 3 so that's my reference point) will commence at some point after their military discharge, perhaps shortly after, over a long weekend in the U.S. in the Rocky Mountains somewhere where they can see snow of the likes they've never seen before, snowboard on slopes they can't imagine exist. Season 5 will be scheduled for Budapest where the group will be headed to film the comeback MV. Season 6 will be them exploring Busan during Christmas. And on and on. We have 12 seasons coming.
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AND FURTHERMORE... this isn't delusional at all, its pure fact:
Who owns Weverse? Hybe. Whatever fees other artists pay to be on Weverse to host their activities there or Weverse shop to sell merch and albums... Weverse makes money, BTS members make money.
Among the many groups paying these fees to be on Weverse and Weverse Shop: EXO, Blackpink, PLAVE, NCT (all iterations), aespa, SHINee, NewJeans, Enhypen, Seventeen. Weverse makes money, BTS makes money. The latter three groups are active artists on Hybe's subsidiary labels. If those labels make a profit from their artists work, guess who else makes money? BTS members.
People who are still engaging in fandom pissing wars on X with other kpop fandoms... stop lowering yourselves to their level. Time to get out of the mud. Look up at the stratosphere instead because that's where our men exist. Reflect on that instead of engaging in nonsensical fan war fighting.
Get yo ass outta trunk.
I don't know what else Namjoon can say to you guys for you to get your head out of your asses and get with the program. We are moving in different circles here, you either keep up or stay behind.
LASTLY, a legit question. At what point in a man's life, in a Korean man's life, in a Korean male idol's life... is it NOT ok to snuggle or cuddle with their male friend? Or even their biological brother? When is it crossing the line and no longer considered acceptable behavior? When do Koreans believe it is time to stop that sort of behavior? When men are in the 20s? 30s? 50s? Is there such a point? Or do Korean idols get a pass because of what they do for a living? Because I don't see other Korean men of any age doing what Jimin and Jungkook do. Ever. Just sayin.
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I really wish some Ron fans would take a step back and realize how Ron antis have successfully lured you into playing on their field via the neverending social media moral purity circlejerk, buying into their arguments in your efforts to debunk them.
Whenever I hear a Ron fan say something about how the author did him dirty in HBP and how HBP was written in some kind of weird effort to malign him while glorifying Hermione and everyone else, i want to flip a table. You know why? Because in making this argument you are buying into the idea that Ron was some kind of awful person in that book (or at least really looked like one) and the only way you can combat that notion is by saying, "uh, well, yes, but the author intentionally wrote him wrong because we all know Hermione is her self-insert so she had to level the playing field."
I read HBP before social media had become anything like it is today, and before I was involved in any way with fandom online. HBP did nothing to lessen my love for Ron -- absolutely nothing. It did nothing to lessen my love for Hermione. It made me love them more, individually and together. The fucking humanity and heartache evoked in those characters in that book -- via their imperfect and completely fucking human attitudes and actions -- is wonderful. These are two young people each convinced that they are not being seen by the person they want the most. And they're dealing with this on top of the stress of school and the impending war and just how much it fucking sucks to be 16 years old. (And the fact that they have "more important" problems, by the way, doesn't magically make people behave more maturely and rationally when it comes to "silly" personal issues. That's some other pure unrealistic nonsense I've heard.)
I'll bet when you read it, HBP did nothing to lessen your love for Ron either. It was only after you began entertaining and internalizing garbage on tumblr and twitter about how awful and "abusive" they were, because people like pretending they've never behaved similarly in their lives, and social media isn't known for fostering nuance.
I behaved at age 16 in ways I really wouldn't like to have held against me forever. In ways I wouldn't have liked -- or deserved -- to have held against me for even a month. Same at age 20. And 25. And sometimes even today. If you claim you haven't behaved in harmful ways rooted in your own hurt, I won't even engage with that. Because it's delusional.
Forget this "who was worse" trap. The great thing about Ron and Hermione is how evenly matched they are -- in force, in fury, in passion, in loyalty, in pigheadedness, in their desire to be loved and needed, in their deeply-embedded sense of right and wrong, and not least of all, in their ability to know exactly how to push each other's buttons when they're pissed off. They both have moments where they behave shitty in this book, but none of it is in a vacuum and none of it is without a catalyst. And that doesn't mean the action itself is okay, but it's a hell of a lot different from someone like, say, Malfoy, who is maliciously cruel without provocation, or Cormac "Her Lack of Interest Means Try Harder" McLaggen.
Sometimes in a relationship, you need to say you're sorry for causing hurt even if you didn't mean to do it, or even if you believe you were in the right or the hurt was started by the other person in the first place. Because that's part of having a loving, understanding, gracious relationship. It's also being willing to admit you've done something uncool without falling into a sense of despair that you're suddenly a bad person. And it's no different when you're talking about these two idiots. If someone points out Hermione behaved like x because she was upset when Ron did y, it doesn't mean we need to do mental gymnastics to prove that y was completely justified. Y might not have been justified. Or maybe it was. Either way, we can acknowledge Hermione was responding out of hurt, without it having to mean that Ron is the devil incarnate. And vice versa. We don't need to do the proverbial "oh you like pancakes so you must hate waffles" bullshit.
The first stop in combating Ron hate, should be for self-proclaimed Ron fans to stop trying to reason his bad moments into nonexistence. Stop giving the time of day to people who believe someone's dipshitted moments of indiscretion during a time of learning and growing somehow make him less worthy. You were never going to win an argument against that kind of mindset anyway.
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ventique18 · 1 year
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Warning: delusional conspiracy theory
The current event, Fairy Gala Remix, is a modified version of the original Fairy Gala. Meaning, aside from added dialogues where characters get replaced with others (Kalim starting off the event gets replaced by Ortho, for example), everything else is just a copy-pasted code where the same characters say the exact same dialogue.
Except for one person:
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Malleus has completely different reactions to the same statement. In the first one, he seems to be aware that he is not at all mild-mannered, but is pulling everyone's legs for shits and giggles. In the Remix version though, he seems to genuinely believe that there are many finnicky fae and that he's an exception.
This doesn't seem to be a mistake, as aside from Malleus have different reactions, Idia has been kicked off the screen as well. So, here is a theory I've seen floating around the JP fandom but I didn't really ponder about until now: that everything in Twisted Wonderland is a static simulation, and that Malleus is the only actual conscious being whose actions are organic.
Twisted Wonderland may be his dream, and the Remix events are a hint of him choosing whoever the hell he wants to be the star for whichever event he wants to play at the moment. Also, aside from him having different reactions to the same dialogue, do you remember who else has this ability? The player who can choose how they react to a scenario.
It could be that Malleus is the gamemaster, and you are the player he's hosting.
Some bullshit MalleYuu theory addon: Malleus may be hosting different variations of different events so that he can find out which set of timeline the player prefers the most. This is in hopes that you'll be seduced by the beauty of Twisted Wonderland so that you'll choose to never go back home.
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beingsuneone · 9 months
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Part Two!!
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Memories & Delusions PART TWO!!
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PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE
SYNOPSIS: You know Jason is alive know, you aren’t sure how just yet and you aren’t how exactly you’re going to keep his cover and also still see him regularly. There’s still too many complications to deal with.
FANDOM: DC
PAIRING(S): Jason Todd x fem!reader
RATING: G
MENTIONED: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, Joker, Ra’s Al Ghul
GENRE/AU: Uhhh a little bit of fluff I guess. It’s pretty subtle on the romance, mostly plot following I guess. Nothing overly angsty. Mentions of being committed to Arkham (just a joking conversation) and Jason is trying it get over the Lazarus pit.
WORD COUNT: 4.4K
WARNINGS: swearing, slightly graphic descriptions of Jason’s murder from him. Not proof read
A/N: jjjajsjakkskskshdhshjsjsis brain
DEDICATIONS: my dumb hyperfixating brain for coming up with this concept at least three years ago. And putting it into words only recently.
CREDITS:
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“Why are you being so dodgy lately?” Dick asks skeptically, eyeing you up.
You shrug, trying to play it cool. Jason doesn’t want them to know yet so they won’t. “What do you mean?”
He narrows his eyes at you. “Last week you were losing your mind and now you’re just… fine.”
You take a deep breath in and sigh. “I guess I realized that I was being delusional. I was just missing Jason.” Dick is about to say something else but you wave him off. “I have to go to meet my friend, so I’m heading out.”
Your ‘friend’ was Jason.
You stop to look at yourself in the mirror by the door, toying with your hair and smoothing out wrinkles on your clothes.
Somewhere behind you, Dick mutters: “See, Bruce, she’s being Dodgy.” And Bruce hums in agreement.
You’re apparently not as convincing as you’d like to be.
…..
“How do you plan on breaking the new to Bruce?” You ask, fidgeting with your fingers while he goes through some stuff on his computer. He shrugs in response. You continue. “Or is it that you don’t want to tell him at all?”
Jason's eye twitches subtly, something that you’re surprised you catch. He shakes his head. “I don’t know, Y/n.” He pauses, chuckling dryly. “It’s not like he’d care much to know.”
You recoil. Is that really how Jason thinks Bruce feels about him?
All you can recall is Bruce kneeling in front of his grave, sobbing like you’d never seen an adult sob; or the way he would walk into Jason’s room and stand in the doorway with a forlorn look mocking his features.
You remember the way he’d stare for several minutes before sighing deeply and walking away; he’d usually proceed to lock himself in the batcave and would snap when anyone disturbed him.
“Jason…” you say reluctantly. “You don’t think that Bruce would care if you were alive?” Jason remains silent, so you continue, missing the way his fists clench. “Bruce was… heartbroken for months after your death— we all were.”
Jason stands abruptly. “And yet, none of you were willing to kill the man who brutally murdered me!” He snaps, his voice raised. You flinch a little but try to retain composure; bite your tongue when you have the urge to remind him about your goals when he first died. He continues with a strange expression on his face. “Do you know what it was like to feel a crowbar splitting my skull open while I was still alive?”
The thought makes you sick. Makes you so utterly devastated for what he’s been through. “No, Jason, I—”
He cuts you off by holding his hand up. “If Bruce was ever going to kill someone, it should’ve been Joker; and if he’d really loved me so much it should have been for me.” His tone is much calmer but there is still a chilling effect in his voice that makes your spine straighten.
The look behind his eyes is flurried with an internal battle you can almost see. “Jason, I shouldn’t have—”
“Just go.” He says, finally sitting back. He doesn’t bother looking up at you.
“What?” You stammer, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Just get out, Y/n.” He snaps once more and that’s all it takes for you to turn on your heels and walk out the door.
…..
You’d been moody and upset for the past three days— you knew you were. You were upset at Jason, upset that he had so much sway or your emotion, and even upset at yourself for bringing something up that obviously triggered him in some way.
Jason was complexities locked inside other complexities, and you were beginning to learn that; what was once simple and easy with him, was now difficult and anxiety-inducing:
You weren’t sure where you laid in his eyes now.
Were you still the same teenage girl in his mind, or, were you the grown version of the girl he liked that had betrayed him.
Did he see you the same way he saw Bruce and Dick? Or even Tim? Was he just holding on the bond you used to have despite his bitter feelings for you now?
And, what made him this way? You know he must have gone through a devastating trauma, but, how far did that really go?
What were the details that Bruce never told you, and just how gruesome were they for him to lock the knowledge away and not let anyone else know the details.
He told everyone that Jason had died, and he had died by the Joker’s hands; when you or Dick had pressed for more information, Bruce had simply told you it was ‘Brutal’ and ‘Something you should never have to know’
But Jason's little outburst must’ve only told the smallest of details about his horrible, horrible death. If that was just the beginning, you couldn’t even imagine the depths of Joker’s cruelty.
You’re brain won’t stop trying though, even as you sit at the kitchen’s bar with a soggy bowl of cereal. You’ve been sitting there for an hour, pushing the stuff around in the bowl but you haven’t actually taken a bite.
“I think we need to send you to Arkham.” Tim says from the other side of the island, breaking you from your Jason-induced trance. You know he’s joking, but you’re pretty Bruce is genuinely considering committing you for your behavior these past few weeks.
You’re more hot and cold than faulty thermostat. Hysterical, and then Happy, and then violently depressed and introspective.
“I do not need to be locked up with a bunch of criminals, Tim. Rehabilitation is clearly not actually happening at Arkham.” You say back, appreciating his giving you something to banter about.
He’s the only one that didn’t know Jason, and that makes him refreshing to be around.
“They aren’t stupid, Y/n.” Tim says, completely unrelated to your response. “Bruce knows you’re still losing it over Jason, you can act fine all you want but Red Hood clearly got into your head.”
You shrug. “If anyone knew him as intimately as I do— uh, did, they’d lose their mind too.” Your eyes drop to the bowl in front of you and scrunch your nose in disgust. You push it away from yourself.
Gross.
Tim shrugs back, because, what else can he really respond with? “I didn’t know him at all.” He pauses, looking out the kitchen's open door. “Wouldn't Bruce have known him as well as you did?”
You shake your head. “No, Tim, me and Jason were… different, I guess. I had a crush on him when we were teens.” You shift in your seat and instinctively reach for the pendant around your neck. “And Dick was doing his whole Titans thing at the time, so they weren’t as close.”
Your sadness subsides and that familiar warmth runs through you as you imagine yourself and Jason laying on the roof, reading your favorite scenes from the book and enjoying the cool summer air.
In the winter, you would go out with a few blankets and huddle extra close; eventually, when your hands would get to cold to read, it would end in the two of you huddling close for warmth (something that Jason had always produced a lot of) and staying there until Bruce would start calling for you.
Your lips twist into a soft smile.
Tim stares at you. “You need help.”
“Speak for yourself, Mr. Force Batman To Have Another Robin.”
….
A tapping at your bedroom window stirs you from the near-sleep state you had been in; your heart pounds as you shoot up and look towards the window. Your heart slows only a few beats per minute when you see a familiar red helmet through the window.
You stand up and unlock your window, letting Jason climb through one side of the double doors.
He sighs through his helmet as he goes to remove it; you hear the familiar series of click and whirs and then he places the helmet on a chair in your room.
“Nice Pajamas.” He says, in a playful sort of way. There’s a healthy dose of something else though, that you can’t quite place.
You look down at yourself. You’re wearing a very thin tank top and some comfy PJ shorts. Not exactly appropriate in front of other people.
“Uh, thanks?” You say as you grab a hoodie from beside your bed and throw it on.
Once you’ve covered up a bit more, you turn back to Jason. “Why are you here?”
He stares at you, his eyes traveling your body for a few moments before they meet yours. “I just wanted to apologize. For the other day.” He takes a step closer.
You cross your arms. “I want to know why.”
Jason cringes. “I snapped yesterday because I’m just not right in the head yet. I still lose control and say things I shouldn’t. My perception of things is so fucked up sometimes I can’t tell what’s real.”
You nod slowly. “But why, Jason? How are you alive, why is your brain messed up?”
He sighs deeply. “I did die.” He says simply, like that really explains anything. You wait for him continue. “I died, and Ra’s Al Ghul threw me in the Lazarus Pit because he owed a favour to Bruce.” The words are spoken so plainly but you understand the pain behind them. “I’m only alive because of a favour.” His tone is so downtrodden, devastated.
You’ve heard about the Lazarus Pit, how it could drive someone to madness— you guess that must’ve happened with Jason.
It was the theorized reason for Gotham’s problem, after all; or rather, theorized by Barbara Gorden.
You supposed that made sense. “My God, Jason, you’ve been through so much.”
Your heart aches for him, for all the things you should have prevented.
“I’m sorry, Y/n.”
“It’s okay.”
…..
The morning light shines brightly through your window, usually your curtains are drawn but there are quite a few unusual things about this morning.
First and most importantly, you have a suited up Jason, sleeping at your side; his arm is wrapped protectively around you.
He looks so beautiful when he’s sleeping; you’re not sure if he ever has restless sleep, but he seems so peaceful and at ease— relaxed, even. It’s nice to see his face unplagued by any of his troubles.
However, according to your clock, it’s almost the time when Alfred would come to wake you for breakfast, meaning Jason had to leave— and fast.
“Jason.” You say his name softly, nudging him awake. He stirs, and his eyes shoot open.
He looks panicked for a moment before your face processes in his mind, then he visibly calms down.
“I fell asleep.” He states, disentangling from you and laying into his back.
You hum, still looking at him. “Yes, you did.” The air is thick with some sort of easy tension, a fading smile, a far-off laugh— a general sense of mundanity that you want to keep forever. “But you have to leave now, if you don’t want anyone else to know your identity.”
“Right.” Jason gets up from the bed and stretches slowly, causing you to do the same.
He turns to grab his helmet— or rather, you see him stop, stare at it for a moment, and then spin back around.
Before you can process it, he’s caging you on your bed. Your eyes close as he closes the gap between the two of you, a swift movement that leaves you barely anytime to think.
When he pulls back, off the bed, and flashes you an easy smile, you think you very well might swoon like you were right out of a 60s television show.
Jason slips his helmet back on and closes it before unlatching the window and stepping out. “Bye, Y/n.”
“Bye.” You stare at the spot where he was standing for a while longer before laying back down in your bed.
…..
“Hey.” You say nonchalantly, coming up behind Bruce.
He’s working on the Batcomputer right now. “Hello.”
“What’cha Doing?” You scan the contents of the screen, and it just looks like feed from the Manor’s many cameras. You aren’t too worried about Jason being seen on them, because he always hacks the cameras and scrubs himself from the data.
“I’m just doing the weekly camera check, Y/n.” Bruce looks back at you momentarily, and then returns to the feeds.
You screw around behind him for a while before you hear a small hum. You look up at the camera, trying to see what has caught Bruce’s attention. The timestamp says it’s from a few nights ago.
You watch as he replays a specific moment.
He replays it a few more times before you finally see it. A familiar flash of red, and then a motorcycle driving away from the manor.
Worse, the flash of red comes from right outside your window.
Bruce enhances the footage and zooms in on what you’re sure is Jason.
“Red Hood was at the Manor three days ago.” He states, looking back at you. “He appears to be leaving your bedroom, did you know about this?”
You pause for a second but shake your head. “No, of course not, I was sleeping.” You pretend to shudder. “That’s creepy to think that he was in there while I was sleeping.”
Bruce eyes you suspiciously but doesn’t protest or question any further. “We’ll have to heighten security in your room. Red Hood obviously chose it for a reason.”
You freeze. “That’s not necessary, Bruce, he didn’t screw with anything, obviously.”
“Even if he isn’t intending to hurt any of us, Y/n, there are several very bad things that could happen as a result of his being able to get into our house. Not to mention, I’ve noticed several discrepancies in our camera feeds over the past month or so.” He gestures to another frame, showing what looks like normal footage, but it’s the same five minutes replaying, according to the timestamps. “If you watch carefully, every minute, on the dot, a bug flies in front of the camera. It’s the same bug and the same flight pattern. If that’s Red Hood’s patch job, he’s not very good at this.”
Your lips purse, and you chew on the inside of your cheek. “That is weird.” You can’t really say anything else without making yourself look suspicious. You’ll have to let Jason know before he thinks about coming around here again.
He goes back to the previous footage, of Jason at your door, and enhances it even more— your window is clear now, and the floor behind it. Bruce rewinds it to the moment that Jason reaches the window. He presses play again, and lets the video play slowly, analyzing Jason’s every movement.
You cringe when you see Jason knock on the window a few times, and you’re terrified for Bruce to see what you know is coming next.
“Bruce!” You blurt, just before you’re about to come into view. “Tim just texted me and said he needed you to come upstairs right now.”
Bruce turns to you, confused. “Did he say what about?”
You shake your head. “No, he just said it was urgent.”
Bruce nods and leaves you alone in the batcave. You have maybe ten minutes until he comes back, knowing that you lied.
You try to fiddle with footage and delete that part that incriminates you, but without Bruce’s password you can’t do that.
Fuck. You don’t know it.
You panic for a minute and then abandon your mission to delete the footage, instead you race upstairs and into your bedroom, throwing together a bag of clothes and other essentials, as well as some sentimental items.
You’re about to sneak out the window when you see the old worn book. You snatch it quickly, along with your phone and car keys.
Bruce’s voice comes from down the hallway, calling your name; it doesn’t matter, you don’t stop until you’re outside and in your car.
You know he’s watching as you speed off, tears welling as you disable the tracking devices in your phones and car. When Bruce finally watches that footage, he’s going to think you betrayed him and you’re going to lose the one place that you’d ever felt at home in.
You’ve never felt so low before.
…..
Tears fall pitifully from your cheeks; you really shouldn’t be this upset.
Jason watches uncomfortably from his chair in his office; you knew he never liked you crying, and he was never great at dealing with it.
All he ever needed to do was be there, though.
“Please stop crying.” He says gently, as he walks over to you. “What happened?”
You shrug, which makes no sense because you know exactly what happened. “I can’t go back to the manor.”
Jason scrunches in confusion and a hint of anger at the conclusions you know he’s jumping to. “What did he do?”
“Bruce didn’t do anything.” Wiping the tears from your eyes, you pull back from him. “He was going over security camera footage and found a camera you forgot to wipe… he hadn’t watched the full thing when I ran out of there but he’s watched it by now, I’m sure.”
“And that matters…why?” Jason obviously doesn’t understand what you’re implying.
You absentmindedly drum your fingers against your wrist. “I very clearly let you in the window in the footage. You didn’t break in, I let you in. Bruce knows that now too.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Jason looks around the office, like there’s something that would help on the walls. There isn’t. His eyes settle back into you, but you’re not looking at his face. “You can stay with me.”
He says it so easily, like it’s only natural— you suppose it is. Nothing had ever been more natural than being with him.
You also think you’d probably like that. “Do you live in this building or…?”
He laughs and then shakes his head. “No, I hijacked one of Bruce’s warehouses a long time ago and have been living there. We can go now, I’m done for today anyway.”
You step out into the hallway and he takes your hand in his; you think that he feels protective around his lackeys, because he doesn’t really like them. He would rather they all fell off the face of the earth, but he knows that won’t happen so he’d rather control where their product is being pushed.
Or that’s what he told you, anyways,
You go down a different set of corridors than you’re used to, and it leads to a garage.
The unsettlingly beautiful woman is standing at the door, she says nothing when Jason pushes the door open and leads you through.
It’s not her job to ask questions, you suppose.
“Do you want to take your car? You can follow me in mine so you know where we’re going?” He suggests, raising his eyebrows at you. “Or I can drive it over for you later and we can just use my car for now.”
“I don’t really feel like driving right now.”
He nods. “Okay.”
…..
“When you said warehouse, I was not expecting this.” You gape, looking around at his ‘apartment.’ “It looks more like a pent-house.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, well, that's kind of what it is.” Jason runs his finger along the surface of his counter. “I believe it was catalogued as a safe house and a warehouse.”
You shrug. “You wiped it from the system, so I wouldn’t know.”
There’s a sort of awkward reluctance dancing around the two of you, like you aren’t sure what to do with yourselves now that it’s just the two of you alone. You haven’t been truly alone with him in such a long time.
“I guess there’s not a whole lot to do here.” He starts again, looking around. “I’m not here much. I usually just end up passing out on the couch in my office.”
You laugh dryly and look around; the whole apartment looks clean and modernist— you personally can’t stand this type of decorating but you don’t think Jason cared much to change how the place had looked when he found it.
There’s a TV, which you’re pretty sure works but it’s gone unused. There is a short hallway with three doors down it right off the living area. It’s mostly open concept besides that small hallway. You lift your gaze upwards, following the tall in-wall bookshelves; you find that there’s a small loft above the two of you and a ladder that leads there.
“What’s up there?” You ask, walking over to the ladder.
Jason gestures up the ladder. “I’ll show you.”
The two do you climb the ladder and you pull yourself onto the loft, feeling a little unsteady.
You notice immediately that the roof looks a little strange just above the platform.
Jason clears his throat and walks over to one of the walls. He hovers in front of a small silver panel. “You know, there’s a reason I chose this one.” He presses a button on the panel while he looks over at you.
A few creaks sound and then some loud mechanical noises sound before the roof panels recede to reveal the setting sun. The sunset is so beautifully visible from the sunroof.
“Jason.” You breath, dumbfounded.
He picks a book off of the floor of the loft. “I used to try to recreate our moments on the roof, but it just wasn’t the same without you.” He flips the book a few times in hands. “And this wasn’t quite right either.”
“I couldn’t handle the rooftop without you.” You whisper, not sure if he even hears you; you try to speak a little louder. “The first time you showed up at the house was the first time I had done it in years.”
“Huh.” Jason responds, sounding nonchalant but you know it means something to him.
“Wait here.” You rush back down the ladder and grab your book, and then head back up. Jason stares at it for a while. You hold it up, and pass it to him. “For Old Times Sake?”
…..
You had sat there with him for hours that day, you watched as the day melted into night and felt as you slowly fell asleep. You and Jason were tangled together, cuddled so close it was like you had never really been apart in the first place.
At some point, you’re drifting in and out of consciousness. Your hands twitch gently and you adjust yourself a bit but you don’t open your eyes.
You’re pretty sureJason still thinks you're asleep because he presses a kiss to the top of your head and then quietly speaks. “I want to do this with you for the rest of our lives.” He pauses and sighs a loaded sigh. “Not just for Old Times Sake.”
You decide it’s probably better to just try to fall back asleep, despite the way your stomach churns. You wanted to respond, and tell him that you wanted to fall asleep like this every night.
Tell him that you wanted to spend every day with him too.
…..
“I just want to know where she is, Red Hood.” Bruce’s voice comes through a little speaker in Jason’s office— it’s a line that Jason had hacked into and clearly Bruce knew that.
Jason scowls and you can’t help but think about Bruce when he does.
When nobody responds to him, Bruce continues. “I want to talk to her.”
You gnaw your lips, wanting to pick it up and say you’ll talk to him but dreading confirming his suspicions.
Jason slips his helmet on and picks up the microphone. He presses the button and says, cooly, “Where would you want me to bring her, Batman?”
You can hear Bruce’s sigh of relief. “The abandoned warehouse near Arkham. You know which one I mean.”
Jason hums. “The one that Joker blew up last month.”
Bruce confirms and then Jason looks at me. “Anything you want to say?”
You shake your head, and Jason picks up the mic again. “Give us a time and we’ll be there.”
And just like that, you were going to see Bruce again.
Great.
…..
“I just don’t understand, Y/n.” Bruce says immediately when he lays eyes on you, despite the fact that he wraps you in a tight hug. “Why would you work with him?”
You pull back and look back to Jason, who’s all suited up, of course. “I—” you have no idea what to say in your defense. “I wasn’t working with him, Bruce.”
Bruce gives you a sort of ‘disappointed dad’ look. “I saw the footage, I know that you let him into the manor.”
“Well, yes, but—”
“So you were working with him.”
“No! It’s not like that!”
You’re starting to get irritated because you know Bruce has absolutely no reason to believe you.
“First, you lied about Tim needing me, and then you tried to delete the footage and then I saw you wildly speeding away from the manor. Do you understand how suspicious that looks? Obviously, you are working with him, Y/n. You don’t have to lie.” Bruce sounds sure of himself. It makes you want to tear your hair out.
“Fine. I was working with him, since you’re so sure.”
Bruce looks between you and Jason, and you can see realization dawn on his face. “Unless… don’t tell me you fell for him just because he reminds you of— Y/n, please tell me I'm wrong.”
Jason steps in this time. “Don’t worry, you’re wrong. Just not in the way you think you are.” Your head snaps back to look at him as clicks his helmet open and pulls it off.
This was the moment. He was finally showing Bruce.
You look frantically between the two of them, trying to decipher the moment.
Bruce stands frozen for a good long while, just staring at Jason’s face before he suddenly locks his arms around Jason's shoulder/neck and hugs him tighter than you’d ever seen Bruce hug anybody.
Jason looks thoroughly disturbed and taken aback. This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, and honestly, it wasn’t what you were expecting either.
“I didn’t fall for him because he reminds me of Jason.” You say quietly. “I fell for him because he is Jason.”
Bruce pulls back and nods slowly before turning back to Jason. “I’m so sorry, Jason.”
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