#i have not ever been concise once in my life this is me trying so so hard

[psychiclounge]

wrote up a whole rambling nonsense post but i can boil it down to two points that are still too long for what i’m saying. so far:

1. i do not like the movement and weapon controls, they’re floaty and loose and have little impact, finding it hard to adjust to considering how much i love how the first two games play + the way the camera like, tracks on garrett’s head and bobs around makes me feel kinda ill

2. i expected this to some degree but so far its been very silly. Very silly. that’s fun, but it also just keeps taking me out of it, its a really different vibe. shoutout to the shopkeeper/fence dialogue, every single one has immediately stopped me in my tracks the moment they open their mouth. bertha where did you pick up that whole shtick lkJHLKJH

[thebramblewood]

this is in a similar vein to an ask you got recently but do you have any tips for those who are interested in sims 4 (or even other games like ts3 and ts2) storytelling? I write fanfiction but I think making sims 4 stories could be a fun venture. Anyway, thank you for your time! I love your stories so very much they're literally my hyperfixation!

Well, that makes two of us because it's literally my hyperfixation. I think I've shared bits of advice before, so some of this might sound familiar, but here are some things I think are important to remember (and I tried to be concise, I swear).

Write the story you want to write. Obviously, it's a great feeling when something takes off and people get invested. But if you pursue an idea only because you think Simblr will like it, you probably won't be inspired for long and it'll probably show. I've been very lucky with my story, but it didn't blow up overnight. Early on, I was thrilled to get double digit notes or one reblog or comment and was admittedly disappointed when I put a lot of effort into something and nobody seemed to notice. But I kept going because I was obsessed and wanted to see it through, and that's more true now than ever.

Start with low stakes and allow yourself to evolve. Before I was on Simblr, I made Sims stories with no poses or visual enhancements or fancy editing. I wrote them for myself, and I loved every minute of it, but they also gave me a solid foundation for the kind of storytelling I do now. Even after starting this blog, I eased myself into it. I learned how to use poses and Reshade, then moved on to more advanced editing techniques, then moved on to teaching myself to make poses and very basic CC. If you try to learn it all at once, you're more likely to give up because you're overwhelmed. Take your time and make peace with the fact that perfection isn't possible. Everyone's always learning!

Take advantage of the fact that Sims is a game. Even though I've been a creative writer for most of my life, I don't come up with fully-fleshed, elaborate Sims stories from scratch. It started off with my legacy and not wanting every generation to feel the same. I thought about gameplay I hadn't experienced yet and centered each generation's story around that. Even with HZID, I just wanted to make and play with vampires! That's it! Initially, I used a lot of gameplay to convey Helena's college experiences, and I still try to incorporate it when I can. It can really be a great base to spark your creativity if you don't know where to start.

Don't have a life outside your story. I'm joking. Kind of. I'm not a very social person and I don't like leaving my house if I don't have to. This leaves me with a lot of time for working on story things. Honestly, I could probably stand to work on it less. But for better or worse, I'm doing story-related things most nights and weekends, and even if I'm not doing anything, I'm thinking about it. It's probably mental illness, but we'll just call it passion. At the same time, it's also important to take breaks! If you're feeling burnt out, step away for a while. If you can't make yourself step away completely (raises hand), just edit the script or spin your blorbos around in CAS or something rather than going straight for posing a scene.

Follow and interact with other storytellers. This is probably the most important thing, and as someone who struggles with social anxiety it was the hardest for me to do. But I try to make a point of keeping up with other stories, commenting, and reblogging. Not only will the amazing talent of other writers inspire you, but you're building meaningful connections that make them more likely to want to interact with your story. There's no denying it feels amazing to watch your audience grow. But no one's going to see you if you don't make an effort to be seen, as scary as it can be. So try to be active in the community and support other storytellers the way you want to be supported!

[the-blue-eyed-firebender]

Just a lil Royai fic rec.

I'm new to the FMA fandom, but these two now live in my head rent-free. And so do these fics. Enjoy!

Catharsis by kekkubean

Rating: M

Word count: 5K

Summary: She knew better. And now a little girl was dead because she wanted to believe that her father’s behavior existed in a vacuum.

Or,

When Riza learns of the Tucker incident, she doesn't handle it well.

Excerpt: At her feet, Hayate whined, she imagined disapprovingly. It was definitely too early to be drinking, although thankfully she skipped training him on understanding the appropriate hours for alcohol consumption. Riza met his gaze and they regarded each other for a moment as the burning subsided slowly. Hayate cocked his head to the side, curious, and whined again softly, as if he could read her wretched mind.

She briefly, morbidly wondered if Alexander and Nina shared thoughts, or if one of their minds dominated the other in that body, or if it were an entirely new—

Riza slammed her palms on the table, instantly suppressing the thought, and abruptly pushed herself up to standing. Hayate jumped and slinked off into her bedroom. She stood swaying for a moment, trying to gain her balance and some semblance of her sanity.

My thoughts: This one is canon to me. I can offer no higher praise for a fic. Before reading this, I never considered how Nina's fate might affect Riza, but it just makes so much damn sense. The way kekkubean writes trauma is blade-sharp. And the pacing, the dialogue, the characterization - exquisite.

Anytime by myrhymesarepurer

Rating: G

Word count: 838

Summary: It was not his Captain standing there in front of him. It was his master's daughter, so brutally burdened with ink, secrets so cruelly exposed to the world by one blasted broken zipper. 

Excerpt: She lifted her head and blinked, feeling a great bit foolish that she stood in front of her superior, tortured over an issue  he managed to solve in,  oh,  less than one second.

How very Roy Mustang.

My thoughts: I've read this so many times. It's one of the first I read in this fandom, and I keep coming back to it. It's short, poetically formatted, and utterly perfect in it's simplicity.

Beautiful People by That Hoopy Frood

Rating: T

Word count: 6.4K

Summary: Soon after the conclusion of the Ishvalan Civil War, Captain Maes Hughes receives a phone call in the middle of the night. The message is short, concise... and perhaps the most terrifying thing Hughes has ever heard.

Hawkeye's apartment. Now. Come alone. Someone has been hurt.

A promise was once made amidst the sands of a distant desert land: oaths will be upheld, and secrets will be scorched away. The sinful had waited too long; Roy Mustang was indebted to his promise, and Riza Hawkeye had come to collect.

Shut the door; it's starting to rain.

Excerpt: "You asked her to follow you… she would have walked over burning coals for you…" Hughes felt hot, angry tears running down his face. His glasses fogged. His voice cracked. "You were supposed to fall in love with her, Roy! You were supposed to marry her and have kids and be just be happy for once in your goddamned miserable life… now look what you've done. Look at what you've done."

My thoughts: Riza's back-burning is one of the most starkly absent scenes from the FMA canon. The scene has been written and rewritten in fanfiction many times, but this particular fic fills the gap in a way that is just perfectly brutal and raw. The addition of Hughes' presence makes the whole thing cut like a knife. Like Catharsis, this one is canon in my mind.

And now, a shameless plug:

The Counteroffer by theblueeyedfirebender

Rating: T

Word count: 2.6K

Summary: On the eve of Mustang’s inauguration as Fuhrer, Riza Hawkeye submits her resignation.

Excerpt: He pulls a manila envelope from the drawer and stands, sliding it across the surface of the desk in her direction. Her gaze falls to the hand he’s extended, long fingers and pale skin, the lingering scar of a transmutation circle still faintly visible, crosswise marred by another, thicker scar, twin to one on his other hand.  

Something snags in her throat, but she swallows it down and picks up the envelope. It’s thin, like it contains nothing at all. “What is this, sir?” 

For a moment, he doesn’t answer, as if the routine honorific has stuck him somewhere unexpected. When he speaks again, his voice is thick. “A counteroffer.” 

My thoughts: My first-ever FMA fic, complete with an ACOMAF Chapter 54-inspired confession (iykyk).

[redleavesinthewind]

elliot's 2023 fic wrap up

2022 version

alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)

okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.

i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)

i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!

my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*

and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)

JANUARY

bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words

a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time

spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country

A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words

erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl

spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)

and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words

okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe

spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life

Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words

i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself

spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen

Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words

a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious

spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always

FEBRUARY

There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words

you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics

spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead

you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words

this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL

spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand

Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words

this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time

spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read

Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words

a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart

spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit

The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words

there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful

spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???

MARCH

All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words

they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic

spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg

["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k

so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range

spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again

A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words

this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one

spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort

did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words

fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love

spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them

flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words

because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful

spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333

Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words

yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!

spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33

APRIL

if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words

i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.

spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin

MAY

Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words

definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever

spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything

Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words

AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love

spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS

Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words

i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits

spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((

JUNE

A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words

very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))

spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU

Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words

for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it

spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words

*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later

spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

JULY

Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words

hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)

spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX

AUGUST

The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words

part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!

spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic

The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words

it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment

spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing

Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words

if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants

spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!

Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words

OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me

spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!

SEPTEMBER

Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words

okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!

spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT

Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words

i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more

spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)

OCTOBER

for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words

listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.

spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?

this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words

listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point

spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah

The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words

it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon

spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--

NOVEMBER

Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words

a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang

spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words

another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous

spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)

a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words

everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!

spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words

this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue

spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed

DECEMBER

Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words

i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic

spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods

Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words

this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting

spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right

***

(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)

if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 23/02/2024

Through the F​-​F​-​Fire and the F​-​F​-​Flames

Season 5 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume D

Ripped by R.L.99

In my excitement leading up to February 22nd and to finally get to write more in-depth about Kara's Flowers' meaning to the SiIvaGunner channel...it dawned on me a bit too late that I was ignoring another meaning to the very date before it. I'm still very proud of how the post on As Miku Collides connects together with Collision Clouds, but there was something far more important to remember from February 21st. The birthday of late ripper R.L.99.

R.L.99 is the second known SiIvaGunner team member to have left us in tragedy, and its always going to be a very difficult topic for someone like me, effectively an outsider, to approach. The first was Marrow, who I've written about thrice now with Telling Fish Tales, Turnabout Fishters and 8​-​bit Fish With Dreams - a true friend to the SiIvaGunner team whose contributions are too many to list, but had been present since the very early days of Season 1. I can't claim to have known the guy, nor ever claim to have felt the same grief that his friends did upon his passing - yet althesame, through how recognizable and frequent his contributions were, losing him did hurt. Yet with R.L.99, my heart sank for a somewhat different reason. I'd barely had the time to truly appreciate him before he was gone.

As a ripper, R.L.99's most defining trait lay in his ambition - he was always seeking to outdo his last work, always shooting higher, yet higher. Joining the team early into Season 5, his twenty-one contributions across the year, ambitious or not, all feel crafted to a sheen. In a Season that already had some of the strongest output in the channel's life, his rips often still managed to impress beyond those expectations. I described one instance of this occurring on my one prior post on the ripper, One Winged PSYcho - V​.​S. Sepsyrop, but it needs to be reiterated that this was effectively standard procedure for each of his big projects. But despite the reverence I hold for him now, I'd chosen the worst possible timeframe to begin distancing myself from SiIvaGunner - during Season 5, I was at my most disinterested in the channel's goings-on, and thus paid far too little mind to the incredible efforts the entire team were making during the year. I'd check in, add some rips to playlists, and check out.

When the news of R.L.99 broke early in Season 6, I didn't know what to think, because...I didn't know R.L.99. But as I looked through my own playlists, looked through his list of contributions - I realized that just about everything he had ever made had found its way into my list of all-time favorite rips. I'd loved his work without ever truly acknowledging or understanding who made it. Without ever having had the chance to truly show my appreciation, until it was too late.

Linked under his username credit at the start of this post, you'll find a Twitter thread I made two years ago now, the day the announcement was made. I wasn't able to appreciate him during his time, but on that day I wanted more than anything else for other people still like what I once was, people far too blind to the talent and care individual rippers put into their work, to know exactly what kind of legacy he left. And so, I put the thread together as one of my first-ever forms of written SiIvaGunner analysis, trying to concisely convey all the ways that R.L.99's work truly was unique - in all the ways I'd failed to pick up on before it was all too late. There was, of course, a lot missing from that thread - notably the as-of-then unreleased rips he'd made that would be uploaded the day after in his memory, culminating in the downright breathtaking Dancing Masked. Yet, I still want to dedicate todays post to a rip I'd heard from before that day, one of those rips I'd loved for so long without knowing the man behind it. A rip like Through the F​-​F​-​Fire and the F​-​F​-​Flames.

A hugely ambitious project, it feels difficult to find one rip that quite so concisely encapsulates all the qualities of R.L.99's work. A distinct love for the MOTHER series, a love for rip arrangements of popular music, a love for Rock music, and the aforementioned scope - it all culminates in a nearly 8-minute long tribute to the legendary Through the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce. Althewhile, it adheres incredibly well to the expected restrictions of a Game Boy Advance game, each of the shredding guitar samples used being from MOTHER 3 itself, with vocals authentically bit-crushed to match. It manages to rock out incredibly on its own, and that's without mentioning the insane details strewn throughout, such as the song's occasional bumps in tempo to match other boss music within MOTHER 3, or the other songs from MOTHER 3 that become referenced throughout the arrangement. Released on the date of MOTHER 3's birthday, much like Jesus of the Underground - it's a beyond impressive tribute, with love shown in every second of its runtime.

The fact remains, though, that I never knew R.L.99, and never knew Marrow either for that matter. There's far, far too many rippers that I've still not been able to express my full gratitude and affection toward, and many of which I'll likely never be able to reach. But that's part of why I want to run this blog in the first place - to give myself, and other SiIvaGunner fans that chance to show genuine, outspoken love for rips and the people behind them while we all can.

Rest well, R.L.99.

[atticcreationz]

Something I find really interesting about Nerdy Prudes Must Die (which I think heavily influences the fact that it's my favourite Hatchetfield show) is that its music and musical motifs are built so heavily upon all the shows that came before it, which is not something we see super often in mainstream theatre?? Stay with me here, I don't know if I'll be able to articulate where I'm going with this fully the way I want to but I'm gonna try.

Not only did NPMD have the catchiest and most heart-wrenching main motif out of all the Hatchfield shows imho (the "cool" motif - watch my heart break in two in real time while it plays behind Ruth's big note in Just For Once, ooof), but we all know it is jam packed with motifs from 4 other shows (TGWDLM, BF, NMT1, NMT2) in addition to the rest of the NPMD motifs. From the nightmare time motif to the cop motif, the inevitable motif, the coffee motif, Grace's scheme motif, Hatchet motif, etc, the list goes on!

For me not only is it fun as hell but it scratches an itch that the other Hatchetfield shows didn't 100% reach for me musically speaking. Not bad, just one box that wasn't ticked for me! It's almost the same itch as musicals like Hamilton, who pack in a huge amount of motifs and music/musical references without them overly complicated, and without distracting from the broad strokes with too much detail work. The motifs are easy for your ear to pick up on and follow without beating you over the head with them. Now, the likes of Hamilton (take the rest of what I say from here on out with a big ol spoonful of salt as someone who is observing as an enthusiast of musical theatre composing theory, not a pro) besides the obvious thoughtful hard work put into it are possibly more able to make space for these intricacies due to a sung-through format; and especially in Hamilton's case, being able to use both rap and music to create motifs. It feels like NPMD however is able to do this more like a movie franchise (thinking of things like Star Wars who have built up many different musical themes over the years).

On the one hand, big duh, that's how sequels/connected stories work. But on the other hand, even though we're used to seeing certain musical or lyrical ideas returning throughout a composers career, and although we're used to Starkid lore, jokes and call backs building up over time, I don't think I know many musicals that are sequels, and have built up a musical motif landscape over several years?? Besides Phantom/Love Never Dies, which I admit I don't know enough about. This feels like it might be another thing unique to (or if not unique to then certainly encouraged by) Starkid's format.

I've oversimplified a bunch of this for the sake of brevity (as if I've ever been concise in my life lol). But out of curiosity if anyone knows any other interesting musical theatre sequel examples outside of Starkid, let me know!

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Our Friendship Wasn't Real, was it?

When all was said and done, you were left with one conclusion after the rogues most recent crime. Your friendship was a lie. A game. They pretended to be there fore you for their own gain. The thought drive you mad and humiliated you so you had to confront them. "It was a lie wasn't it? This was all some sick twisted thrill to you. Wasn't it? Our friendship wasn't real."

The Riddler: He stayed quiet at first and you leaned forward. "If our friendship wasn't real-" Edward cut you off hastily and almost offended. "Our friendship was real!" He snapped. "So maybe I took advantage of an opportunity. Yes. I admit that but you're twisting it, (Y/N)! You're making it seem like that was the plan all along and it wasn't. The Bat put me in a position and I took it but it could have been so much worse for you. You're unharmed and your life for the most part is untouched. I did that. I could have ruined your life but I went out of my way ensure nothing bad happened to you. If you feel used then so be it but don't feed into it and make it seem its something its not!"The Riddler ranted, taking no responsibility for your feelings.

Scarecrow: Jonathan sat there and let you rant at him. Although it was clearly not out of a favour. Instead it appeared he had the risk of being bored more than anything else. But he let you go off on him. Staying quiet. No interruptions. Even when you were done, he said nothing for a long time, just staring at you. Finally, you sighed. "It's been eleven months. I'm still trying to repair the damage you caused. You could at least answer me." You finally deadpanned. Still he said nothing. You scoffed and got up ready to walk away when you hear him response. "I really was your friend." He said. Jonathan didn't elaborate after that and it didn't give much closure. There was an extra sting knowing that as a psychologist, he could come up with responses that would give you closure. Yet he didn't. Like you weren't important enough.

Mad Hatter: "Can't you just give me a real answer? No games, quotes or ring arounds. Just give me the answer?" You were tired of his lack of transparency. He was almost as bad as the Riddler, never giving a real concise answer. It could he heard in your voice. Jervis turned to you and smiled. For once he didnt look through you, or briefly acknowledge you. You had his full attention as he smiled. After a moment he spoke. "You were very dear to me. You were my friend. My first real friend." For someone who struggled to stay in reality, Jervis seemed to be very aware that he may have lost you.

Harley Quinn: Harley seemed to struggle to just look you in the eye. She wanted to stay in her fairytale delusion that the only one who ever cared about her, who will ever care for his was the Joker despite his flaws. Yet here you were, the person she couldn't help but acknowledge what she had done to you in the meantime. You had cared about her. It was clear on your face and she abandoned you without second thought- s she always did- for the Joker. The truth being painful but fact. The second the Joker returned to her, she didn't need you anymore. So she left you behind without a second thought. Finally she spoke. "I really loved you once and I really was your friend."

Two-Face: He sighed, thinking over his answer. "Are you sure you want the answer?" Harvey asked quietly. You answered without paying the question much thought. "Yes!" You snapped. "Why would i ask if i didn't want to know!?" Harvey sighed again and tried to ignore the tears that threatened to fall. He hated seeing you cry. "We weren't playing you. Or at least I wasn't. I really was your friend at the end. Harv' was but I got attached, and so did he. That's the truth." Harvey said. You realised in that moment that the truth didn't always make everything better. Knowing the truth didn't fix any of your situation or your feelings. In fact, it just weighed you down, a sinking feeling in your gut. You wanted to hate Harvey, which would have been easier to do if it weren't for the knowledge that he had grown attached.

[listenheresweaty]

Ok uh here goes

Can I get revivedbur headcanons for a reader who was very hurt by his betrayal? Like all rev wants to do is be nice to reader and love them but they want nothing to do with him?

-roses 🥀

ohhh boy my first ask

first off i wanna say that i absolutely love this idea. perfect angst fodder mmm

im not that great at writing angst. when im not sure what to write i add a lot of insignificant details until i get motivation. so hopefully this is satisfying :) If not, i'll try to come up with some more concise headcanons for wilbur trying to regain the reader's affections.

-----

First off, I'd like to point out that Wilbur right after revival and Wilbur a couple days after revival (especially after the events of hitting on 16) are quite different

When he's freshly revived, Wilbur is ecstatic. He's alive, rejuvenated, and ready to cause mayhem in every conceivable corner of the server.

Ever the ambitious man, his first concerns are with gaining power--- or, rather, interfering with power. He wants to become relevant, involved in the incessant, political push-and-pull of mankind that has interested him since a young age.

Eventually, though, the adrenaline wears off and he starts thinking about the people in his life. Tommy, who he had immediately recruited for his expeditions to Las Nevadas. Phil and Technoblade, who he visited gladly. And you. You're there, just a short 5 minute walk from Technoblade's house.

Wilbur's sitting at the table with Phil, making small talk about the weather or something when you walk in, throwing open the door with a huff and brushing the snow out of your hair. You look a mess, hair wet and plastered to your cheeks and your nose red and sniffling.

God, how he's missed you.

You freeze when you see him, your voice dying in your throat.

Wilbur smiles oh so sweetly, opening his mouth to speak.

Phil accidentally interrupts him, standing up and explaining the situation to you--- yes, the rumors were true. Yes, Dream is on his necromancer arc. No, he's not Ghostbur.

Wilbur tries his best to speak with you, but it's hard with Phil and Techno there. And for some reason you won't speak to him directly, asking all questions about him to Phil, such as "When was he revived? Was it really dream who revived him?"

When you do address him, your answers are clipped, polite but distant.

He figures it's just because it's awkward with Phil around.

But even when he manages to catch you alone, you try to push him away, glaring at him before stalking off with your jaw clenched and your face hidden from his view.

ouch.

That doesn't deter him for long: Quackity had brushed him off with an eye roll and a dismissive wave of the hand, and yet their rivalry is still underlined by a vague sense of respect and friendliness. (keyword: vague). So, he'll just act the same as he does with Quackity!

But as soon as he starts pestering you too, popping up in your house to nick a few items and smirk at you, the look in your eyes stops him dead in his tracks.

"Get out of my house, Soot!" Your tone of voice catches him off guard. There isn't a trace of amusement or playful exasperation. Your annoyance is so profound it borders on disgust.

All the lighthearted mischievousness that had been previously dancing in his rib cage is extinguished in a heartbeat. His smirk fades, and he stands in silence.

"Didn't you fucking hear me? Get out!"

"Darling, I-I.. " He laughs nervously. "I was just joking, you can have your stuff back---"

"I don't care if you steal, leave or burn them. I want you out of my house."

"But--... I don't--"

"---And don't call me darling."

"I don't understand."

"What? What don't you understand?"

"I didn't.. I just want to talk." He raises his hands in surrender, exhaling slowly. "I just wanted to talk."

"I don't want to talk." You say, quiet and composed once more. "You aren't welcome here. Just--- get out. Please."

He wanted to stay and argue, but something about the way you were looking at him was almost more suffocating than Limbo. He turned tail and nearly bolted out of there.

---

He doesn't visit you for a while after that. It's even worse if you had been attached to Ghostbur--- because of course you were attached to Ghostbur.

And after hitting on 16? When he goes on his apology arc?

If people don't accept your apology, Phil had said, you need to let them go.

And so Wilbur does the same thing with you as he did with Tommy: avoiding you like the plague in fear of having to inevitably let you go.

He still spends his time thinking about you, of course. Whenever you two accidentally end up in the same area, he stands to the side, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

The only way he's going to end up talking to you is if Eret sets it up, not revealing it to either of you until you're face to face.

You've calmed down since your last encounter with Wilbur. Although your opinions haven't changed, you willingly sit down to talk with him.

He, too, is less insistent with his apology. "Listen, I-I.. I know this won't fix things. I don't expect them to."

Wilbur pauses, and you raise an eyebrow for him to continue.

"But you-- you mean a lot to me." He says, wincing at the immediate scoff from you. "You do. You mean the world to me."

"Months. Months you lied to me, in Pogtopia. Months we all spent slaving away to get L'Manburg back-- and I did it all for you! I fought for that country because you loved it like life itself. You watched us fight for it, you let us bleed and sweat and shed tears for it, all while knowing all our efforts would be in vain because you'd be blowing it to pieces regardless. And then you up and left! You left us all, left us to pick up your pieces and drag your body to be buried. "

" ______." Wilbur said your name, quietly.

"-- And you proposed to me! The day beforewe were about to fight to get back L'Manburg, you got down on one knee and proposed.--"

"______." Wilbur repeated.

"You promised we'd have a life after the war. You looked me in the eyes and promised me this, knowing damn well what would happen the next day."

Wilbur doesn't say anything. His shoulders sag, deflating.

You sigh too. "And then you're revived. Months go by, I don't hear a word from you--- not that I was asking to--- and now you're apologizing."

Wilbur falls silent. "I'm selfish."

You purse your lips and move to speak, but he cuts you off.

"I'm not saying that to provoke pity or fish for compliments or serve an excuse. I'm just stating the fact. I am, at heart, a selfish person. I-- that's why I proposed to you that day. I-I knew it would hurt. I thought it would.. keep you closer, wanting to avoid you leaving me. Even though I was the one leaving." He exhales, running a hand through his hair.

The brutal honesty has you dumbfounded, searching for any traces of trickery or manipulation-- but not finding any. He seems genuine. Incredibly self-depreciating, but genuine.

"..And that's the reason I haven't apologized to you until now." Wilbur continues, seeing that you weren't going to speak. "I didn't.. I couldn't bear to hear a formal rejection."

You don't know what to do, having exhausted yourself with your outburst earlier. So you just nod in understanding.

"I-I'm going to be honest. I really, really don't want to let you go. But I've promised myself that that's what I'll do if you don't accept my apology. If you want me to leave you alone, say the word. You won't have to see me again. But if there's anything I can do, anything to earn a second chance for myself--- I'll do it." He rambles on. "I don't need you to love me. I want you to--- I really want you too-- but I don't need you to. I just don't want you to hate me."

You chew on your bottom lip thoughtfully. "I don't hate you."

He looks relieved, hope lighting up his features.

"...But I don't know if I'll accept your apology."

His face falls.

"I know I don't accept it right now. And I think that's understandable. I want to accept it sometime in the future, Wilbur, I just.. I need time."

Wilbur nods, mouth twitching as he works up the nerve to speak. "Would you.. prefer if I stayed away, during that time?"

"I don't want you to outright avoid me." You admit. "If we happen to end up in the same place together, I´ll talk to you. But I think some distance would be helpful."

"Yeah." He manages, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'll... I can wait."

Wilbur looks back up at you. "I'll wait for you." He promises.

and then he leaves for utah

[cannonball5]

You know I don’t think I’ve ever seen an argument in defense of Portwell and/or Rini without at least one of three things:

1. A bashing of Rina as a ship or Ricky and Gina as characters.

2. Anger at the writers/Tim for “ruining” the ships with “poor writing.”

3. Crying into the void that things would be different if Olivia hadn’t left the show

I bring this up because a lot of anti Rina sentiment has popped up online recently. Maybe it has to do with the upcoming anniversary of the series finale, but for whatever reason I’m going to try to put this to bed once and for all, even though I know it’s going to fall on deaf ears (blind eyes?). And to anyone who wants to debate me on this, I gladly say, “bring it on.” Anyway on to breaking down the main things I see repeated over and over again:

1. Bashing Rina, Ricky, and/or Gina: why do so many of you feel the need to tear down a ship or character to feel better? This thinking has led to so many takes that just aren’t true. ‘Ricky jumps from girl to girl,’ ‘Gina is Ricky’s second choice,’ ‘Ricky’s a home wrecker,’ ‘Gina’s a home wrecker,’ ‘Ricky keeps stealing EJ’s girlfriends,’ ‘Gina should’ve been more understanding of the pressure EJ was under.’ And these are some of the nicer takes. By the way I can disprove all of these, and that’s not hyperbolic, I actually can. This desire to tear down a ship you don’t like is not the argument you think it is. The show, character progression, and writing all showcased why these ships work or don’t work. Speaking of.

2. Saying the writing is bad: have you ever read a book or book series and had two characters you wished would get together and then they didn’t? Did you take the book throw it on the ground and say that the writing was bad and you can’t enjoy that book series anymore? That’s what you all sound like. Now I’m not saying that I liked or even agreed with 100% of the show’s writing (season 2 always feels like a slog to get through for me), but the show’s writing isn’t bad. In fact the writing for Ricky, Gina, EJ, and Nini especially is consistent and in character (an assertion I am more than willing and able to back up). Just because the writing isn’t to your particular taste doesn’t mean it’s bad.

3. The Olivia Rodrigo departure: Every time I hear that if Olivia hadn’t left the show Rini and Portwell would be endgame, I want to tear my hair out. Putting aside the fact that Tim Federle, The Creator and Showrunner of the series, has stated multiple times on the record that after the Homecoming Episode in season one that the writing shifted to focus on Ricky and Gina, there’s still a mountain of evidence that Ricky and Gina were always going to be the endgame couple. The fact their stories remain intertwined even during their time apart in season 2, the fact they only were able to start other relationships when they weren’t actively in each other’s lives, and of course the most important piece of evidence, The Rina Cue. I cannot for the life of me figure how anyone can make the claim that Rini and/or Portwell were getting back together when the Rina Cue exists. No one has ever been able to give me a clear and concise explanation for how they can explain away the only original background musical cue for any couple in the entire show. Rini doesn’t have one, Portwell doesn’t either. Seblos, Jetney, Madlyn, Redlyn, Jennzzara, none of them have an original background cue that plays whenever they have a scene together. Only Rina. So if anyone can give me a logical explanation that explains away that melody, I’m genuinely curious to see if you can.

Look, I’m not saying you have to like Rina, it’s fine if you feel a connection to Rini or Portwell or any of the other ships in this show we all love. All I’m asking is if we can all be respectful of each other and engage in respectful discourse about what we did and didn’t like about the series, without feeling the need to attack each other’s ships? Otherwise I’ll probably end up writing another one of these, and nobody wants that.

[omegapheromone]

do you have any advice for someone who is struggling to figure out their misce identity?

personally i’ve always just assumed that i’m an omega (because i’m a smaller person and more submissive?) and gone with that, but after thinking about it more i really don’t think i am?

i think that i have a lot of “typical” or “normal” omega traits, but i feel much more like an alpha? so uhh yeah hopefully this isn’t too annoying

Hiya! Not at all annoying, this ask is a great opportunity for me to talk about some topics I've been wanting to talk about for a while, actually! I will write a longer post but here's everything, VERY shortly:

First of all, ask yourself why you ascribe specific traits or features to specific dynamics, and WHY in your mind being small and submissive means one HAS TO be an Omega. Does this mean that absolutely no omega ever can be tall, muscular, strong, dominant? Does this mean that not a single alpha ever can be small or submissive? Where did these mental associations come from? Could it be that you have subconsciously taken the most common and stereotypical fictional traits of "alphas and omegas", even if you know logically it doesn't work in real life, and are trying to force those stereotypes onto yourself? Would you tell anyone ELSE but yourself that they cannot be an alpha because they are small and submissive? Or would you tell anyone else that they cannot be an omega, because they are tall and strong and dominant? Or are these things you're only trying to force on yourself because you think you should fit some stereotype that's completely based on fictional characters?

My tone there isn't meant to sound harsh at all- I go WAY more in detail below, but the post is long, like, genuinely very long, and I'm just trying to summarize the simplest and most important point as concisely as I can in a string of questions to ask yourself- the point in ALL of this is that your identity should be dictated by what feels right and good to YOU, not what stereotype you fit into. People are always more complex than stereotypes, and if you feel more alpha, then that's all you need. Physical traits, personality, sexual preferences, etc- none of these things dictate what your dynamic is or should be.

That being said, I have to give a fair warning. This post WILL end up being LONG.

Another thing- I personally am an omega and have always identified as such, so I'm gonna tag @pack-the-pack and more specifically @miscealignment a.k.a. Null's more misce-focused blog- not only do I find his opinions interesting and generally insightful when it comes to all matters misce, but I think Null will probably have more to say about the alpha part specifically. I'd also like to tag @beta-adjacent for similar reasons! Further down, I'm going to talk about my own personal perceptions of the dynamics, and my point if view as an omega only goes so far, ESPECIALLY when I've never really questioned the fact that I am an omega, even when OTHER people have (more on that way, way later.)

With those out of the way, my actual response will be posted under the cut just so I don't clog anyone's dashboard too much! Once again, prepare for rambling and a LOT of text. Sorry in advance (；´∀｀)

About Misce- Your Mental Image;

a.k.a. let's start with a little imagination. ...or lack of, maybe?

Firstly, I would ask you to evaluate what you think of when you think about each of the dynamics. While you're completely free to your personal interpretation as is everyone, I tend to think that if your mental images look something like "Alpha=dom, top, strong, masculine", and "Omega=sub, bottom, feminine, dainty and emotional" and "Beta=side character", you're not REALLY looking at misce dynamics, rather, you're more thinking of a highly stereotypical and (subconsciously) heteronormative version of omegaverse that is (often) used almost exclusively only for the sake of making mpreg possible in m/m fiction. And to be clear, yet again: Misce is NOT Omegaverse.

This specific way of interpreting alpha/omega/beta dynamics is literally just straight people gender norms repackaged to be forced onto gay/queer people, and is not in any way realistic to 99.99% of irl gay/queer relationships, nevermind people. A lot of misce folks are also some flavour of lgbtq+ anyway, and you can see why it could become an issue to impose heteronormative roles onto people who do not, by definition, fit said roles. Here's what I mean:

"Alphas are tall, big and strong and handsome dominant leader types who provide for the physically weak, dainty and small and traditionally attractive, emotional, submissive omegas. Omegas bear and raise the children, while alphas work and earn money. Omegas are at a social disadvantage because of their dynamic, and alphas often benefit from theirs, therefore it's not unusual to see omegas being exploited by alphas. And Betas are the 'other people' who don't fit these roles, I guess."

Now switch "alpha" to man, and "omega" to woman, and read it again. (And for an extra spicy take, switch "beta" to "lgbtq+ folk"... just saying.) See what I mean?

This is a common portrayal in a LOT of omegaverse fiction regardless of what biological sex/gender the characters are, and I'm SURE you've seen portrayals like this many, many times. In fiction, there's nothing wrong with interpretations or depictions like this! I know some people are unable to read works of fiction critically and think that using portrayals like these is somehow inherently bad, and sure, this specific market is definitely oversaturated as well- but the thing is that for many authors and creatives, applying these existing (male and female) roles and forms of discrimination onto imagined secondary genders such as alphas and omegas is a way to explore gender discrimination, homophobia, misogyny, social issues, etc in writing. But the crucial part is that this ONLY WORKS IN FICTION. Omegaverse is fiction, so it's fine. But Misce is not fiction. Misce is identities and people.

About Misce- Identity, NOT Tropes Or Roles;

a.k.a. let's not base real people identities on fictional stuff (or sexual preferences, for that matter).

You cannot apply those previously discussed concepts to real, living people's identities. This much is obvious. Cathegorizing real people into "alphas are the strong and big and dominant ones", "betas are the in-between ones", and "omegas are the dainty and small and submissive ones" doesn't work and should never be done to begin with.

You also cannot cathegorize people based on their sexual preferences- "Alpha" does not automatically mean they top or dom. "Omega" does not automatically mean "bottom" or "sub". Beta does not automatically mean vers/switch. Sexual preferences are separate from dynamics, and you should not assume anything based on someone's dynamic to begin with. While misce has its sexual aspects to many, it's almost never ONLY sexual. In my experience, if anything, it's a very small part of being misce to most people I know.

This is all to say- your sexual preferences do not and should not determine your dynamic in any way- so whatever you like in bed should not make you feel like you need to identify with some specific dynamic. You could be the most submissive bottom on earth and be an alpha and that would not be weird or "wrong" or "strange". I think just about any misce person could tell you this- anyone who understands that misce ISN'T "just an irl larp of omegaverse", at least.

This is a good opportunity for me to segway into the next part- misce is based on a LOT more than "just" the most stereotypical omegaverse roles. For a lot of people, being misce connects to other forms of non-human identity, whether that's being otherkin, therian, alterhuman, whatever. I'm not actually all that familiar with those things, as I've never bothered getting involved or familiar with said communities. I've never felt human either, but I struggle to figure out the specifics of it so I just don't bother- I'm content like this, and don't feel the need to label it or try to "pick a specific animal" or whatever. I'm happy being just... a being (lol) and that's enough for me.

About Misce- Deeply Nonhuman Humans;

a.k.a. there are two wolves inside of you...

...However, I recognize that with this part- me not really feeling like my misce self is connected to animal-type nonhumanity specifically, I am NOT in the majority.

I believe "miscecanis" and "miscelupus" were the first(?) terms that utilized the now-popularized term "misce" in them, and they specifically refer to canines (any, but often dogs) and wolves. Considering omegaverse itself is also based on that (proven to be unreliable/misinformed) study on wolf pack structures from ages ago, it makes sense that many misce folk would also identify with canine-adjacent creatures- I do too, I just dislike using those labels since that's nowhere near the most notable part of my own sense of non-human-ness. But I digress. A lot of misce folk, especially ones who identify with specific animals, have created their own labels to match the animals they identify most with- miscelapin, miscevulpes, miscefelis, etc. The catchall term for most misce folk, esp ones who feel that their "animal-identifying side" is strongly connected to being misce, tends to be misceanimalis.

Personally, I just say "misce" since a non-animal-attached term doesn't seem to exist at the moment and to me, being an omega isn't necessarily a non-human animal-identity thing at all- but that's just me and I don't think there's a "right" or "wrong" way to personally interpret and "be" misce.

All that being said, generally, the misce community tends to lean towards a more instinct-based social model, pack dynamics and emotional/non-verbal etc communication. I think that much is pretty obvious anyway. So, naturally, the dynamics themselves are often interpreted through that lens- "what's the 'pack role' of any given dynamic?"

Generally, everyone has their own interpretation of this, and that's totally alright- misce looks a bit different for every individual, and definitions are fluid enough that the answer you get depends on who you ask. Speaking of which...

About Misce- Dynamics;

a.k.a. this is the part where podcast bros get so confused

So, while I'm going to now list a few generic concepts/roles/tropes/traits that TEND TO be associated with specific dynamics, just know that it's completely fine to interpret them differently and come up with your own stuff for your own identity. Misce stuff is generally kind of vague and definitions depend on the person you ask anyway- Should you ask someone else to explain what kind of traits they associate most with various dynamics, you might get a different answer- what, in my eyes, is a "commonly omega trait" might be a beta trait in someone else's mind, and so on.

These summaries are based on my own personal experiences combined with speculation, and include a lot of generalization in places- if you identify as any of these dynamics and feel that my description of said dynamic is "off" or not accurate to your lived misce experience, please know that I'm not at ALL saying your experience isn't valid, or that your identity as that dynamic is being questioned. As stated before- everyone defines things differently, and there is no right or wrong way to define or BE misce.

Also: I'm going to go through both positive and negative traits for each dynamic based on my personal observations of patterns I've noticed. I WILL include a "worst case scenario" thing about each dynamic, just to illustrate how sometimes traits may manifest as genuinely bad/abusive behaviours. Every dynamic is capable of being abusive and toxic, and there is no specific dynamic that is "more likely to be abusive" than the others.

☽ ALPHAS • [ α ] ☾

"Providers, protectors, guardians and defenders, responsible for the pack staying safe, well and the members having their needs met."

Often, alphas are seen as the more physical/tangible providers, "mirroring" the more emotional/psychological form of nurture provided by omegas (more on that later). This DOES NOT mean Alphas are always "the breadwinners"- it takes many forms. That COULD be working to provide a stable income and housing, sure, but it's equally as possible for an alpha to prefer being a homemaker- making food for the pack, cleaning and organizing, etc can be just as much a form of "providing" as working for an income could be. The distinction here is that where omegas commonly tend to show their care in a more emotional and intangible way, Alphas are (often, not always) the ones who will buy their friends little trinkets and souvenirs that remind the alpha of them, cook up meals to provide and ensure the physical wellbeing of their closest ones, offer to help with menial tasks and so on. It's all about trying to ensure the people closest to them are well, and doing what they can to keep it that way.

Alphas often get a reputation for being protective over their loved ones, and while in fiction, esp omegaverse manhwa/manga/webtoons/etc this tends to get portrayed as "possessive toxic masculinity" type tropes (looking at you, 'Terminus', 'Kiss me, liar' and 'Night by the sea'...) this also has many forms, and isn't at all limited to Alphas only.

Alphas DO tend to feel very responsible/protective over their friends and/or pack though, more than other dynamics do- a sort of "hurt me, I don't care, but hurt my friends, you're dead" type attitude is quite common to alphas in my experience, at least as an omega observer. From what I can tell, Alphas derive a lot of pride and satisfaction from being able to support and lift up those closest to them, and while generally Alphas aren't fond of conflict any more than any other dynamic, they usually WILL go to bat for their friends/pack, argue to ensure their friends are taken seriously, stand up for them, and so on. From what I've seen, at times, it's the Alpha that feels more upset over someone being nasty to said alpha's friend, than the friend is themselves.

Alphas are generally seen as the ones who take care of the physical needs and safety of the pack- "safety" makes it sound like they're out there fighting wild beasts and evil spirits or something, which isn't really the case when you think "modern world", but the point is they often strive to ensure that everyone they love feels safe and comfortable around them, and that sources of stress/anxiety/worry are removed. This could take the form of helping a friend pay their rent when a friend is broke and the Alpha is able to pitch in, or it could be helping someone fill out job applications if they're finding it overwhelming to do alone, or helping a depressed friend clean and cook so that they're less stressed out and are able to recover without the additional stress of having to plan and think about food and nutrition. It could be giving massages to help someone relax, or it could be letting a friend come over just to sleep at their place when the friend is struggling to feel safe on their own.

Basically- some personality traits I've noticed many of my alpha- and alpha-coded friends tend to have, would be that they're generally very caring people who tend to put those most important to them first before themselves. Often Alphas will step in to shield others from injustice and/or perceived threats without hesitation- be that unfair treatment or a stranger being a little too friendly at the club. Alphas may or may not talk about their problems openly, but the ones who do tend to only talk about the problems and how to solve or overcome them, NOT how it has made them feel and if they're feeling alright, but when/if they DO talk about their feelings more honestly, it's basically always a huge sign of trust and closeness. A majority of my alpha friends tend to be either gift-givers who love showing appreciation in the form of presents or homemade food, OR they're silent providers, whose doors are always open (within reason) and will always be there to provide a place for their friends to crash at when said friends just need a break somewhere safe and comfortable. Often, they're both. (Shoutout to my closest irl friend who is very alpha-coded and keeps telling me I can just go to his place to sleep if I want to get away from either family or loneliness at home in a diff city lmao. I always feel like far too much of a burden so I never have, but I genuinely appreciate the offers so much)

Alphas, at least based on my humble observations, have some fairly commonly shared negative traits as well, such as being the type to run themselves to the ground to ensure others are well (especially emotionally- it's a stereotype that Alphas are bad at expressing emotion, but it's somewhat true that often Alphas will try to avoid their own struggles and emotions by constantly rushing to care and provide for others instead of sitting down to feel their emotions lmao). Alphas tend to overwork themselves for the sake of others, and overall share a "neglect self for the sake of others" thing that omegas also have, just. Different flavour.

Some alphas do also tend to have a bit of an ego at times, especially pertaining to things they excel at, and can indeed get jealous of their friends/pack-mates/partners/etc. Occasionally, this manifests as a form of entitlement, often based on the alpha feeling like they've sacrificed so much for the person that they feel like they "deserve something in return". In most cases, it's nothing outrageous- just time, effort, and acknowledgement of all the effort, though I find that sometimes alphas tend to expect others to be able to "read the Alpha's mind" and just figure out what the Alpha needs without ever communicating it out loud (this could be due to a fear of being too "demanding" or too "overbearing" which many Alphas I've known have struggled with, likely specifically because that's often how Alphas get stereotyped, leading to most Alphas trying hard to show they are NOT like the stereotype. I can imagine it's a struggle!).

At times, Alphas may be prone to being sort of control-freaks about certain things. This usually isn't an issue for most, but it sometimes shows through in their personalities as being frustrated if things aren't done "the way they like, when they like". There's various reasons- for some, it's because they're used to doing things one way and feel that it is the best way, for others, it's a feeling of "knowing best", and for some, it's a sense of wanting to have control over how things are done or hoe they happen, because not having that control causes anxiety.

On the darker side of things, some alphas may become genuinely possessive over people, often subconsciously feeling like they're entitled to and feel that they have "claimed" a person, and feel that they should be able to decide things for said person/people. When this happens, it's usually also coupled with some degree of idolization/objectification of whoever is the subject of these feelings, and the alpha may get excessively upset if the actual person doesn't completely match the "mental idealized version" in their head- this could happen for a number of reasons from something as simple as the person deciding to change something about their appearance, to having a personality that doesn't "match" the one the Alpha had "imagined". This can lead to issues with some Alphas being controlling and/or obsessive over everything, and may escalate to worse abuse based on a desire to "control" or "own". This kind of a thing is NOT exclusive to Alphas, anyone can be shitty, but this specific form of it is slightly more common with alphas specifically, over other forms of shitty/abusive patterns.

☽ OMEGAS • [ Ω ] ☾

"Emotional providers and nurturers, often take the role of maternal figures whether symbolically or literally. Caring and loving and very in tune with the emotional needs of those closest to them."

Omegas are often portrayed as more sensitive to pheromones than other dynamics, a.k.a. better at "reading people" and responding to the needs of others before they may even be consciously aware of said needs. Of course, IRL pheromones aren't a thing, but omegas are still very in-tune with the emotional states of others and as such, often, omegas can sense a conflict brewing even before it takes place, and prefer to avoid that if possible- they'd prefer to figure out what the cause of upset is, and address the feelings BEFORE they escalate. While the emotional hyper-awareness is useful in many situations, at times it instead results in excessive overthinking and stressing out over very mundane interactions.

The pack roles omegas are most often portrayed as having are usually things that concern the emotional wellbeing and social harmony of the pack, ensuring that its members are feeling cared for, seen&heard and understood, as well as being the "caretakers" for children/young members in the pack. Omegas are often great listeners, and will do so for hours. They're good at validating and echoing the feelings of others, and many omegas actually derive satisfaction from knowing they were able to help someone feel better- even when there wasn't anything to feel BAD about- just being able to offer emotional validation, comfort, or improve someone's mood tends to make omegas feel happy. In general, many Omegas are able to empathize very deeply, and tend to be good at "seeing things from the perspective of others".

Omegas are often portrayed as especially fond of children and having strong maternal instincts towards kids, both those of others, as well as their own. Stereotypically, omegas are portrayed as wanting children of their own (or, as some like to call them, pups), but this isn't really a "every omega ever" thing. This type of maternal instinct can present in MANY ways, and doesn't always even require children in the equation. Being a "chronically 'mom-friend' type person" can be one manifestation of that, for example, while in other cases, Omegas thrive in older sibling/uncle/etc roles, rather than parental ones.

Omegas are often portrayed as highly emotional/emotion-driven themselves, with a highly developed sense of empathy and compassion. This sometimes manifests as overthinking, anxiety, social exhaustion, hyper-empathy, being easily swayed by the reactions and/or feelings of others, a tendency to seek emotional approval and a likelihood to choose people-pleasing over their own wants and needs. While Alphas are more likely to neglect their emotional well-being, Omegas are somewhat an opposite, and tend to neglect taking proper physical care of themselves in favour of "being there" for someone else. Similarly, while Alphas tend to bottle up or brick-wall their emotions and instead keep physically busy, Omegas tend to retreat and isolate and neglect their bodies when feeling bad.

On the more dark side- which I feel is SO important to talk about as I rarely see people bring this up- Omegas, thanks to their high level of emotional intelligence, are also often very skilled at subtle but devastating emotional manipulation and even abuse. Omegas are great at playing the victim to gain sympathy or pity when it suits them, and are great at appealing to the emotions and feelings of other people to sway them- essentially, omegas tend to make for good liars and manipulators. Omegas are far more likely to utilize manipulation tactics, emotional abuse, self-victimization and mind games, than other dynamics- that isn't to say that alphas or betas are incapable of it, or that this is the ONLY way Omegas may be abusive, nor am I saying that every omega is abusive, obviously- but it's good to keep in mind, especially given the fact that certain medias love to portray omegas as "innocent pure uwu cinnamon rolls who can never do any harm".

☽ BETAS • [β] ☾

Let's be real for a moment and skip the quotation mark description I did for both Alphas and Omegas. There is a reason why I left Betas last, but it's not why you might think.

Both due to the fact that in SO MUCH of omegaverse fiction, Betas are simply nothing but an afterthought in a story about an a/o couple, as well as the fact that people have different ideas of things, a "widely accepted common portrayal of what a Beta is like" doesn't really exist. I feel that it's especially important to acknowledge this specifically because this means that people have VERY different headcanons for betas, both in terms of omegaverse, as well as in terms of what it means to be a beta. It WILL look a little different for every individual beta, likely far more so than it does for the other dynamics. The way I see it, there's both good and bad parts about this- the identity of a beta is less "restricted by" or "bound to" any specific traits or aspects, BUT at the same time, a lot of people may struggle with this as well, potentially feeling like they may not "fit in" or that their personal identity as a beta isn't "enough" or is "too strange". The misce community grows over time, mostly because people who were into omegaverse in fiction come across it and go, "wait, I can just be (dynamic)? Cool!" Which often leads to fundamental misunderstandings, and is an entirely different topic to begin with.

Anyway, what I am getting at is that the more "old school" misce blogs and folk, from what I TEND TO SEE, are far more open to all kinds of beta headcanons and interpretations, while the "new blood" coming in (which, hey, my blog isn't that old either, so)- tends to be people who see betas as "the normal people", basically equivalent to not even having a dynamic at all. So let's start there- let's lose that idea right away. Betas are NOT "no dynamic" or "neutral dynamic". Betas are Betas- and people who are NOT misce, and have NO dynamic identity, are the neutral/no-dynamic ones. Those people are not betas by default.

So, what ARE betas?

Short answer? You tell me.

Longer answer? It's largely up to individual interpretation.

Longest answer? ...

The way I have always seen this is that there are various interpretations of a "beta" and none of them are inherently wrong or right. If you're misce and you identify as a beta in the way they are most commonly depicted as being "the normal people of omegaverse", not having cycles (aside from menstrual ones for afab betas), not having specific traits/skills/etc, and just "being normal (in comparison to alphas and omegas)" then that's entirely valid and just as good as any other interpretation. What matter most is that YOU are happy, feel represented, and have a label you like.

However, if you identify differently as a beta- perhaps you DO have a cycle, whether that is a rut or a heat or a mixture of both, either or, or something completely different- that's also just as good- as long as you feel like yourself. (I didn't spend time talking about ruts and heats in the sections for alphas and omegas, since it's quite straightforward, but I may make a post on that at some point.) For now though- I DO actually believe I can think of at least some commonly shared beta-traits, similar to how I did for the previous sections. They may not apply to every interpretation of misce betas, but that's a given.

So, what traits are common to Betas, then?

In my experience, I find that many of my beta-coded or beta friends, they all share a certain energy that's hard for me to explain. Betas, in my eyes, seem very lively- not necessarily that they are "more energetic" or "happier" or anything, it's more like, they seem to be very "alive" in some strange way I cannot quite describe, but it makes me feel good by proxy. The way I see it, Betas, regardless of how introverted they are in terms of personality, are almost always incredibly easy to talk to, have really comforting presences, and overall make any friend group feel "complete" and "balanced".

This is actually something I noticed very strongly at Pride yesterday! A bunch of my friends are Betas, a good few are Alpha, and a couple are other Omegas (at least, in terms of how I tend to see them), and without fail, Betas always feel like the glue that makes the group feel complete. In MANY cases, they're the bridge between myself and people I've never even met, and their presence lifts everyone's spirits. Betas make groups feel like teams instead of a handful of individuals sharing a space.

Not only that- they're INSANELY resourceful and prepared. As soon as I mentioned my shoes were starting to chafe, two band-aids were IMMEDIATELY handed to me by one of my very beta-coded friends. If anyone is going to survive the apocalypse, I'm betting on the betas in a heartbeat. They're prepared, they know how to keep themselves AND their friends alive, they're good at organizing stuff and delegating tasks to the most appropriate people. Whoever thinks Alphas are at the top and rule the world are WRONG. It's Betas. It's always Betas. If they stopped existing, the world would grind to a halt in less than 12 hours, I'm calling it now. Betas get shit done and make it work, and not only that, they can gigure out what your strengths are, and can figure out which tasks you'd be best at. I'm 100% certain that almost every competent manager, strategist, advisor, expert, scout, spy, organizer, consultant, etc. Is always a Beta. If you want solid advice and good insights with anything practical, ask a Beta. They will either know the answer, or will point you to someone else who does.

From what I've observed, Betas are clever, resourceful, creative and innovative, good at planning ahead AND coming up with ideas on the fly. In terms of pack roles, it fully makes sense to me to view Betas as the leaders and practical thinkers who ensure things work. While Alphas may be the kind to defend the pack from external threats, the Betas are the ones who will help you avoid the threats in the first place. Omegas may be good at predicting and avoiding conflict and resolving feelings that may lead to internal disagreements, but Betas are the ones who will SOLVE conflicts, come up with compromises, and ensure nobody is treated unfairly.

And honestly, this is why I hope misce betas chime in! Please describe your experiences as Betas and of being a beta in misce communities, what it means to you and who you are, etc. In the notes? As I said many times- my observations only go so far.

About Misce- Personal Experience;

a.k.a. this is the part where I ramble even more.

So, I've talked about various stuff, and this is the second-to-last part. In the last part, I will try to provide my personal advice and takes, so skip there if my personal life experiences do not interest you at all. This part is just something I wanted to include, because while I've never personally really questioned my dynamic identity, I want to talk about things that COULD have made me question it, and why.

Omega.

I've always identified as one so strongly that I confidently named my blog "omegapheromone" and refer to myself online as "Gamie", a play on the word "Omega" itself, just rearranged and one letter off. I identified as an omega before I knew what misce was.

But, the people around me haven't been so confident about it.

I don't know if I'll have deleted that post by the time this one is finally done, or by the time you're reading this, whether that's the same day or a year or more from this post's date of posting- but I very recently shared a selfie, a face reveal of sorts. If it's deleted, let me describe myself in it: an androgynous/boyish person with pastel-coloured hair and clothes.

From that selfie, you wouldn't think it, especially with the angle and such- but I'm actually quite tall (167cm/5'5", almost 5'6" or so). Tall, and I have strangely broad shoulders and back for an AFAB person. I'm actually taller and often more "broad" than many of my friends, and in the past, when hanging out with friends, I've heard the "so are you the 'man' in the relationship" type comments when people have mistaken me and any of my friends for a couple. This is how people, even other queer people, tend to view me for some reason. It doesn't bother me TOO much these days, but it used to, and I still find myself wishing I was smaller, shorter, more "dainty" so that people would immediately think "oh, an omega", instead of assuming I'm an "alpha" (or in the case of real world, assuming I'm the assertive and sexually dominant type). I'd like it if people looked at me and, instead of feeling like I'm the type to care for and protect them, saw me as something they want to take care of and protect. It sounds incredibly cliché, but after living 20+ years with this being my experience (being seen as the type that protects ans dotes on others and whatnot), it's just something that's stuck with me. All my exes have approached me with the assumption that I was a dominant type, often also flat out thinking I was a cis dude (somehow, though I guess in the past my sense of fashion wasn't as "cutesy", and instead was more edgy). They weren't turned off by the fact that I flat out had to tell them, no, I'm very much a bottom and you cannot make me top for the life of me, trust me, it WILL NOT be good for either of us. I'd say "lucky me" but the most notable case turned out to be abusive and controlling, so I can't really say that, either. Of course, as I said above, sexual preferences have NOTHING to do with one's dynamic, for me it just happens to coincide that I'm an omega, a bottom, AND for some reason, have a very assertive/dominant aura despite not being either of those things, and as a result, to me, it feels like people are constantly just mistaking me for the "generic portrayal of an alpha".

As much as I complain about feeling dejected that I doubt I'll ever REALLY have the experience where "oh I want to dote on and protect him" is the other person's very first impression/thought, I've made peace with it. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter so much- there's someone for everyone, or however the saying goes.

Still, it's interesting. For as long as I can remember, people have described me with words like "intimidating", saying that they've been afraid to approach because I look like I'm somehow either "too cool" for them, or "wouldn't want to talk" or whatever. Maybe I've built walls that are just too high after getting bullied as a child, or maybe my general detachment and aloofness have made me come across as cold and unwilling to make friends. It's not true though- I do genuinely enjoy meeting people and making friends. To an extent I'm aloof, and at times I will just disappear for a while before acting like no time passed at all, but that's not me trying to be distant on purpose at all.

Anyway, all of that is to say, I've never doubted my omega-ness. I've identified as one since I was a teen and read my first omegaverse fanfics. It's just something I've known. Sometimes I've wondered if I should TRY to force myself to be more of a top and pretend to be an Alpha, but the idea is just uncomfortable. I'd just be lying, both to myself and any potential partner having to experience it- and I don't like how lying to myself feels at all. It's like playing a character I hate, a mockery or parody of who I actually am, and it just makes me feel bad. I refuse to define myself based on the assumptions OTHER PEOPLE make about me, based on my height, build, "vibe" or anything else. If they make an assumption and are wrong about it, that's on THEM for making an assumption. I'm not going to cut my legs off just to be shorter, and I'm not going to strave myself (again) just to seem "dainty and fragile and weak and in need of protection" either. Fuck that, I have internal organ damage from that already, so no thanks, I'm not going to make that worse.

The Advice

the part where I actually answer the question asked.

Alright, so the question bears repeating since I've rambled so long it literally took an entire day to write this post;

Do I have any advice? Some. Most of it I've touched on already. Sit down with yourself openly and honestly, and question what your concepts are based on. Are you forcing yourself to fit a fictional stereotype thar was never meant to suit real life people to begin with, or do you ACTUALLY identify with something? Sit down with what your idea of misce as a whole is, and question what it means to you, what your place in it is, and take time to get familiar with various portrayals of all different kinds of dynamics, not just the most stereotypical ones. Domestic soft homemaker alphas, CEO boss dom omegas, betas who AREN'T just "normal guy in a world of alphas and omegas". Also even if you find a list of "traits that (dynamic xyz) has always!!!!", take your time to look at it. Are there alternative ways to interpret it? Can some traits show up differently? Does "protective" always mean "possessive"? Could it not mean "caring, concerned of their friends' wellbeing, the type to stay up until 4am to ensure a friend gets home safe and texts them, and if they don't, will physically drive over to check on them"? You get the idea.

"Because I'm a smaller person and more submissive?" - I already talked a Lot about this, but why are these things "inherently omega" traits in your mind, anon? Try saying this out loud: "Every omega is a small person, and every omega is always submissive, no matter what." If it feels uncomfortable to state that confidently as fact, then you likely never believed that yourself to begin with, but rather were telling yourself that you "have to be a certain way because you do not fit the stereotype of the OTHER things". You don't have to fit a mold. The molds are based on fiction anyway- you're you. What matters is how YOU feel, what YOU feel most comfortable with, and what label YOU vibe with the most. You don't have to force the identity of an omega onto yourself if you feel more like an alpha, just because you happen to be "smaller and more submissive". Yet again, sexual preferences don't dictate your dynamic at all either. If you feel more like an alpha, then that's all you need. There's no height requirement, this isn't an amusement park ride. There's no minimum muscle mass requirement, this is not a bodybuilder competition. There's no requirement to be dominant or a top or anything at all- that's not even what misce is about. You are you, and what you vibe with is the most important. If that means being a small and more submissive alpha, then congrats on presenting as an alpha!!! You are loved and accepted here!!! 💕

Love you, anon, I hope this helps even a little, and I hope you find what YOU are most comfortable with!

[chevvsgotanumbrellatattoo]

Aces

Story Technicals:

-Synopsis: The Boys try to use their powers on you, to no avail. Little do they know, you are Ace.

-Written in second person for inclusivity of all kinds! :D

-Slightly excesssive use of italics because that's apparently how I write emphasis *vampiric shrug*

-Word Count: 3,768

-Also why is writing people flirting so. freaking. hard.

♠️Soapbox below intro, fic below soapbox&references. Please read the soapbox, it explains certain bits of the fic <3 and asexuality ♠️

(banners courtesy of cafekitsune!)

HI BEANS!!! Gods, this fic has been in the works for a hot minute. The idea came about and is fully credited to @checkitoutmikey! I love this idea and I really really r e a l l y wanted to do it justice. There's so much misunderstanding about asexuality and Aces that I wanted to clear the air a little via fic. (I find that sometimes it's easier to grasp a concept if it's written using characters you know!)

Alright. Soapbox time.

As an Ace (a person who identifies as asexual), I have based this on my own experiences, stories I have heard, and I have fact checked things I wasn't 100% on, such as the black ring—♠️Please let it be known that, according to this webpage, the black ace ring did not come about until 2005, but for the purposes of this fic, it felt like an important piece of information to include.♠️ This being said, this part of the fic is not time accurate. Sorry, Santa Carla. *another vampiric shrug*

I really poured my heart and soul into this fic. I want to spread awareness to those who may not know about asexuality. I was in high school when I found out that there was a word for what I was feeling. It was revolutionary to learn that there wasn't anything wrong with me. It was so, so freeing. If my words can be the medium that introduces someone out there to asexuality and lets them know that they're not broken, then this fic will have served its purpose. As a bonus, I’ll put a few resources below that I find exceptionally helpful for learning about asexuality (please feel free to reblog with more resources or, if you'd rather, you can DM me the sources so I can add them to the post!).

Okay, okay, I did play on the cake cliché (because, at least in my case, it's TRUE), but aside from that, I think I explained things pretty accurately and cliché-free. I know there’s a lot more information I could have included (see: dragons), but then I would be writing forever and this would never get posted and let's face it—we all need a dose of our gay 80s vampires in this year of 2024.

If you have someone who expresses their aceness to you, accept them and support them, for the love of cheese, crackers, and rock box tapes. Not experiencing/experiencing very little sexual attraction in a society that basically runs and prides itself on sex can be incredibly isolating and depressing. Disclosing this information to people takes a hel of a lot of energy, bravery, confidence, and trust. Allow us to disclose this information to the people we choose and DO NOT do the job of coming out for us. Not all of us want or can come out. Respect our boundaries and we'll remember the effort forever.

We are not broken. We are not faking it. We are valid and there is nothing wrong with us. You are not alone.

Resources:

♠️‘I Am Ace (Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life)’ by Cody Daigle-Orians ($15-$20 on Amazon, around $10 on ThriftBooks)

THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER BOUGHT WITH MY ADULT MONEY. Essentially a handbook on everything (or almost everything) you've ever needed or wanted to know about asexuality. I think everyone needs to read this book at least once in their lives. It explains asexuality so thoroughly and concisely without being bitchy or conceited. Daigle-Orians shares his experiences throughout the book, and it was incredibly validating to know that I wasn't alone in some of these experiences.

He also touches on aromanticism! Cody Daigle-Orians has Instagram, YouTube, and a webpage: ♠️Instagram ♠️YouTube ♠️Webpage

♠️Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN)

An absolute fount of knowledge about all things Asexuality (and occasionally Aromanticism!). Their Tumblr answers Asks semi-often, too! ♠️Website ♠️Tumblr

Trigger warnings (in order of appearance) ⚠️:

David smoking cigs

General cuss words

Being cat-called / harassed by Surf Nazis (the Boys protect you, don't worry)

Does kinda/sorta include a microaggression (‘don't know til u try it’ one)

Unwanted pet-name ("doll face")

Talk of David eating any future cat-callers

The Boys attempting to use powers of persuasion on you (Da-da-da, does not work)

The topic of consent/non-consensual sex coming up because the MC asks our undead idiots (/pos) if they understand the concept of consent (they do)

The MC being worried about the Boys thinking they're ‘broken’ (THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE BC ACES AREN'T BROKENNNNN)

Marko hitting the MC with the ‘plant’ microaggression bc bro is cute but he can be a little dense (it hurt to write, trust me, but idk. something in me felt like it was important to show the Ace's side of microaggressions, especially the ones that come from people who are genuinely trying to understand)

If I missed any warnings, please let me know! I always try to cover anything that could even be partially/potentially triggering, just in case!

WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID, HAPPY (belated) PRIDE MY DARLINGS AND MOTOR BABIES!!! ENJOY THE RIDE!!!!

🥳🥳🥳🥳

Combat boots. Grippy jeans. Band t-shirt. A flannel that barely hugged your hips since the knot was coming undone. You tightened it, flashing a wicked smile at your boys.

"Finally decided to show up," you sauntered up to the four, taking your time crossing the boardwalk.

"We've been waiting on you for 10 minutes." David exhaled cig smoke with each word.

"I know." You smirked. You rolled your eyes at his unrelenting glare—the glare you knew was fake because you knew this ringleader little vamp was secretly so so excited to see you—and pecked his cheek. "I got caught up in traffic."

"You ride a bike."

"Motorbike. And unlike some," you fussed with his coat, just to have an excuse to touch him. "I have to follow traffic laws. Can't have me dying on my way here, huh?" He brought the cigarette close to his mouth, but you pushed it away, planting a kiss on his warm, nicotine-tinted lips. You felt him tense, surprised, but soon relaxing into it. Pulling back, you took his face in your hands. Taking the kiss from him early was slightly amusing. "I'm sorry. It happens."

"C'mon, David! Don't hog the kisses!" Paul whined. You grinned, bouncing over and tackle-hugging Paul, pressing kisses all over his gleeful face.

"There's plenty, Paulie!" You relished in the sound of his giggles. His pale face grew colorful due to his bright smile. "So! What chaos are we committing tonight?" Your wicked little grin finally broke David's frown.

"Cotton candy, carousel," Marko matched your grin with his own. "Paul wants to check out the live music."

"The sax guy's back!"

"Jewelry store got a new shipment, too. Might swipe you somethin' nice." Dwayne purred into your ear, pulling you from Paul and to his chest. You shuddered at the sound and the feeling of his nose against your neck. You moved, grinning up at him and making a smile break across his face. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Hi," a giggle slipped from your throat. You felt yourself being yanked into another solid frame: multi-colored patches and blond curls. "Marko!" You could hear his grin laced within the Italian he muttered into your ear. He knew damn well you couldn't understand him, but he didn't care, and nor did you. You found it endlessly attractive.

"Let's go fuel up." He said. You nodded, allowing yourself to be pulled away by the hyper blond.

Waiting in line for funnel cakes, David and Dwayne watched in silent amusement as you and the terror twins kept pinballing off of each other's energy, talking about which rides to go on before the live music. Finally retrieving 5 of the fried treats, you parked yourselves on a railing, chowing down and laughing over nothing.

"I can not finish this. One of you want it?" You held out the plate. David—still licking the powdered sugar from his fingers—held out his free hand, demanding the plate. "You just barely finished yours, David." Again, his hand beckoned the plate forward—the stoic vampire equivalent of grabby hands.

"David fuckin' loves funnel cake. Don't try to stop him." Paul snickered. Now satisfyingly snackless, you stood and stretched, popping your neck and scaring the shit out of Marko. A whistle interrupted his retort.

"Hey, baby, come over here!" Surf Nazis. "We got better snacks than those boys do!" Gyration followed by loud cackling. You rolled your eyes, perching next to Marko.

"Pricks." You huffed. You moved your foot, heel pressed into Dwayne's shoulder to stop him from standing. "Leave it alone. They'll get bored."

But they didn't get bored. Instead, the gaggle of Surf Nazis made their way over. Your silent seething held your vampires in place. You ignored the group until they spoke.

"Why don't you come spend some time with real men?" The ringleader tried to slide close. You put a foot up against his chest, stopping him.

"I know how I like my men, and honey, you're not done cooking." Your voice was ice, eyes boring holes into his skull. Snort from Paul. The other Surf Nazis chittered.

"How do you know if you've never tried?" The ringleader wouldn't give in.

"I don't need to drink poison to know the taste will be bitter." That wiped the smirk from his face. You pushed him away, dropping your foot and staring him down. He, once again, tried to come onto you.

"Look." You stood. "See this ring? It means I'm a member of the Black Ring Society. We have a very specific set of qualifications that allow us entry. These qualifications make us immune to mortals' pathetic attempts at enticing us with their corporeal form, such as the pitiful display you're putting on now." David choked on his drink, trying not to laugh. The Surf Nazis all looked dumbfounded.

"W-What?"

"I don't wanna ride your dick. Go away."

At this, Dwayne stood. Your cleverness was clearly wasted on these idiots. The other three stood around you as well, prepared to pounce while simultaneously providing a silent, yet protective, barrier.

"This isn't a fight you want to start tonight." Dwayne growled. You heard Marko popping his knuckles for effect, ready to knock the lights out of whoever approached him first.

"You don't know what we want." A lower Surf Nazi got stopped by a higher up.

"Yes we do, and you're not getti-"

"I'm not a piece of meat. I said no." You raised your voice, cutting Paul off. "If you and your cohorts don't leave, I will call for the boardwalk officer." You knew the officer wouldn't be pleased to see you and the boys either, but the Surf Nazis loved their beach time too much to risk it.

"Watch your back, doll face." Defeated, the ringleader sauntered off, his crew following behind. You huffed, leaning against the railing again.

"You okay?" Marko looked at you. You shrugged.

"Let's go ride some rides."

Several rides into the night, your mood had improved considerably. Paul practically ripped your arm from its socket dragging you to the music stage. Settled in a sandy little corner near a fire bin, you waited impatiently, but your thought process was interrupted by an arm snaking around your waist.

"Feeling better, darling?" David.

"Yeah. I get shit like that all the time." You shrugged, leaning into his embrace. "Don't worry. Nothin's happened."

"If it does, I'll murder them and eat the entrails." He promised, an unlit cig perched at his lips. You took it before he could light it. Confusion rippled over his pretty features. You hated when he frowned.

"Wait this once? The smells out here are a lot right now." At your unintentional puppy face, David couldn't find himself able to say no. He slid the nic-stick back into the carton, contenting himself with holding you close. Despite the bodies and fire nearby, there was a distinct chill in the air. You burrowed into David, wrapping yourself in his coat. He chuckled, moving you in front of him and cocooning you in the extra fabric. Now warm, you grinned, burying your face in it. Hints of cig smoke, mints, and pilfered cologne reached your nose, soothing the overworked sense.

"If you wanna be so close, why don't we go back to the cave? I'll keep you warm, kitten." His voice was low and gravelly. He pressed a tiny kiss to your ear, smirking. "You're so sweet, I could eat you up like a funnel cake." With that, he nipped your ear. You laughed, but frowned. He was puzzled to see confusion on your face.

"We came for the music, though. Why would we go back to the cave?" You looked at his dumbfounded face, lost. You didn't have a lot of time to dwell on this thought because the crowd of people around you erupted. The music was starting.

****

An hour set! It was amazing. You danced with the four respectively, the music fueling your soul in a way that funnel cake couldn't. Paul was so giddy and happy he got to see "sax guy" again.

"C'mere, peaches." He twirled you to him, catching you in his arms. His nose brushed yours, mischief in his eyes. "I prolly got some dance moves left that you've not seen."

"Is that so?" You laughed. "I think I saw them all on the dance floor." You broke free of his grip, moving to cooler air. Dancing had replaced all chills with sweat. To your astonishment, Paul looked dumbfounded as well, glancing at Marko and David. "What do you boys wanna do now?"

"I can think of a couple things." Marko purred, grabbing your hips and pulling you into him. "You look so good in those jeans, baby. I'd love to draw your pretty curves in 'em." His forehead to yours, you got lost in his eyes for a moment. He tightened the flannel at your middle, hand traipsing up your side a bit, but you grabbed it, seamlessly sliding out of his grip, giggling. You were riding a concert high, eyes sparkling. Marko looked surprised, but Dwayne took your hand.

"How 'bout a milkshake?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Sounds delectable!" You grinned. It had been too long since you had had a milkshake. The other three looked positively shocked. You giggled, sliding up to David. You hooked his chin with your finger, closing his pretty mouth. "You look like a bunny when your mouth hangs open like that, luvvie. Keep it up, and I'll kiss your little teeth." David blinked, looking at you. He smiled now, moving to peck the appendage at his chin.

"You heard 'em, boys. Milkshakes await," he raised an eyebrow, taking your hand. You laughed, moving back over to Dwayne and letting him drape an arm around you as you walked.

The small diner was crowded, but thinning out. Four of you slid into a booth, Paul taking the odd seat at the end of the table. The waiter was clearly overwhelmed when they came up to you, but you assured them that you were in no hurry.

"You're doing great," you smiled. They relaxed a bit, smiling. They looked close to tears.

"What can I get ya?"

You ordered the milkshakes with ease, laying dramatically on Dwayne as you waited. He rolled his eyes, but moved his arm to support your weight. Marko and Paul bounced off your energy, but overall, the four just seemed… confused. In an attempt to combat their frowns, you reached up and squished Dwayne's stoic face in your hand, making him smile. He moved your hand, wrinkling his nose up at you. You tried to grab his pouty little face again, but he pretended to bite at your hand, making you laugh outright.

"Okay!" You sat up.

"Silly little pretty one." He teased, pressing a kiss to your head. Your heart melted, beating twice as fast. "If you want a kiss, just ask."

"Maybe I will," you grinned mischievously. He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Here ya go!" The waiter passed them out. "Enjoy!"

"Thank you!" You answered for the boys, who were already sipping on the sweet drinks. You caught David's eye, giggling slightly.

"What?"

"Chocoholic." You accused. He kicked your foot lightly under the table, biting back a grin.

"As opposed to… what did you get?" He frowned at the sprinkles on top of your shake.

"Birthday cake," you unsheathed your straw, taking a huge sip. The vampiric grabby hands returned. You couldn't save your drink from him as a brain freeze settled behind your eyes. It thawed out just in time to see David's face wrinkle up.

"No." He slid it back to you, shaking his head. You laughed.

"Chocoholic."

"Cake fanatic."

"Thank you!" You fake gasped. He pretended to ignore you.

"Maybe once we're done here, I can show y-" Marko shoved a napkin in Paul's mouth, cutting him off.

"Do not ruin their cake obsession." He quipped, ignoring the coughing fit he sent his brother into. Once it passed, you looked at the rocker.

"What were you saying?" He squirmed slightly under the glares of the others.

"Just askin' if you wanted to go to the cave, peaches." He stirred his milkshake around sheepishly, not looking up from the sweet confection. You frowned.

"What is it with the cave tonight?" You pressed. "You all have been dying to spend tonight on the boardwalk, but you keep trying to get back there." You frowned at your milkshake now, upset by the confusing conversations scattered throughout the night. Dwayne nudged your arm, getting your attention.

"You know about our.. specific dietary tastes, right?" He started. You nodded. "And that we have… certain… qualities?"

"Well, yeah." You had no idea where this was going. You were in public. They could get caught talking about bloodthirst and powers out in the open. "I saw David make a Surf Nazi eat a slushie covered pretzel from the trash last week." The vamp in question snickered at this, half-hiding his face in his treat.

"That skill set in particular, persuasion.." Dwayne was trailing off a lot and it was kind of irritating. You huffed. He got the message. "It includes relationship things. Partner things." He brushed your hair from your face.

"What do you mean?" You weren't getting it.

"We've been flirting all night." David said flatly. Dwayne scoffed at him, a 'really?' look on his face. "What was it you said? ‘Enticement of the corporeal form?’" Heat flooded your face as you fidgeted with your straw, staring at the treat.

They were hitting on you.

"So the cave… you wanted.. alone time." The idea repulsed you. You were all massive flirts, but the thought of that made your stomach flip. The milkshake in front of you no longer sounded appealing. "If this has all just been a game for you four to inevitably get in my pants and then eat me-"

"Relax." Marko stopped your words. "If that were the case, we'd have done it by now. We love you for you, baby." His bluntness took you aback, but you noted the gentleness in his voice. You still squirmed at the idea.

"So… what? You've been trying to make me… have sex with you?" The word was revolting. You hated the taste.

"I was teasing. At the music, when you were wrapped up in my coat. I had no intention, really, but it didn't work on you." David explained.

"You used your powers on me???" You hissed. He nodded curtly, earning him a violent kick to the shin. He visibly winced, nearly spilling his milkshake.

"They didn't work!" He hissed right back. "All of us tried it."

"All of you?" Rage settled in your veins. David biting your ear. Paul's 'dance moves.' Marko's comment about your jeans. It all made so much more sense.

"We weren't going to go through with it!" Paul insisted. "Really. The only reason we did it was to try to figure out why they aren't working on you." His puppy eyes ripped at you, but you ignored him.

"They didn't work?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Mine did, but it didn't take much to convince you to get a milkshake." Dwayne piped up. He sipped on his drink lightly, clearly enjoying that he wasn't in the kill zone.

"Don't think you're safe." His smirk dropped. "What the hel makes you think I want to have sex?” You pointed this question at the ringleader, staring him down as he rubbed at his shin.

"You're so fuckin flirty, peaches! We all just.. sorta assumed-" you smacked the back of Paul's head.

"Idiots. Just because you're not sick doesn't mean you can't joke about it." You stood, taking your milkshake to the counter and getting a to-go cup. You paid and left, sitting beachside as you finished your treat. It was quite a while until the boys found you. When they approached, you didn't acknowledge them.

“Can we sit?” David asked. You noted the slight embarrassment behind his voice, but nodded. The four perched in the sand, antsy and guilty looking. Simply put, they looked like drenched little bats—upset and shivering under your cold gaze.

“We're sorry, peaches.” Paul actually had tears in his eyes, bless his undead little heart. “We should've been honest with you.”

“We were mostly confused why they weren't working, and you ended up being the guinea pig.” Marko added. “They always work on Surf Nazis and nosy adults and annoying eight-year-olds, but not on you. Not… not for that.” You tensed.

“Which is still the most appalling, downright nasty thing any creature could ever do! Have you even heard of consent?”

“We have! We know, peaches!”

“Trust us, Max drilled that into our heads way before we turned.” David said quietly. “We shouldn't have used our powers on you, kitten.” David apologizing. That was one for the history books. That didn't excuse anything though.

“Don't do it again or I swear-”

“We swear.” Dwayne cut you off before your voice got louder than the waves. “On jaguars and funnel cake and the rock box and pigeons.” He held out a pinky. You looked over all four of them; genuine regret poured from their vibes, heavy and thick and sludgy. You turned away from Dwayne, looking instead at the ocean.

“I want to know why.” Your voice was icier than David's irises.

“We told you, we don't know.” Dwayne sighed. “It worked when you wanted to learn to skate but were too scared to initiate. Which is the only time we've done it outside this!” He added quickly, recoiling under your glare.

“Yeah, I remember. It was ‘cuz I told you to. I knew I was too much of a wuss and didn't wanna back out.” You relented. You listened to the waves for a few minutes, the five of you thinking.

“Babe, what was that thing you said to that Surf Nazi earlier?” Marko asked. You frowned.

“Uhm.. oh, that. It's a long-winded and overly clever way of explaining my ring.” He still looked confused. “I was telling them that they couldn't seduce me with their bodies because that type of thing doesn't interest me.”

“What does that mean?” Dwayne asked slowly. “You don't.. you don't feel attraction?” You were about to be mad, but the genuine curiosity and want to understand on his face calmed the wave of rage down to a small ripple.

“Not sexual attraction, no.” You said. David looked bewildered, to say the least. You laughed lightly, your grin confusing them more. “I'm asexual.”

“Asexual? Like plan-”

“You idiot, of course not!” You kicked Marko. “It means a person who experiences very little or no sexual attraction. In my case, I experience none. The entire concept of sex feels too… vulnerable and invasive. So for me, I'm sex repulsed. The entire notion makes me anxious and nauseous.”

“So what about... romantic attraction?” David piped up. “You aren't just playing us, are you?” He almost looked hurt. The wall you put up softened a little.

“Boys.” You smiled weakly. They were truly trying to understand, they just didn't have the information to do so. “Of course not. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are very different. You can still want the romance without the sex. The lack of romantic attraction is called being aromantic. You can be aro/ace—which is just lingo for aromantic and asexual respectively—or you can be one or the other. Or neither. That's also an option.” They chuckled.

“So you're still with us?” You smiled at Paul's sheepishness.

“I'm still your partner, yes.” You said. The air got less tense. “Did that answer your questions?”

“Most of ‘em.” Marko said. He was still rubbing his arm. “Still doesn't explain the persuasion not working.” You thought about this for a moment, fidgeting with your flannel.

“You were trying to convince me to.. have sex with you, right?” Your stomach flipped at the idea. Color rushed to their translucent faces, but they nodded. It clicked. You grinned. “I think it didn't work because you can't make someone feel something they aren't hardwired to feel. The idea wouldn't stick because I don't feel that attraction.” Realization flooded the air. The vibe lightened.

“What about the ring?”

“It's a symbol for asexuality, a way for us to show our pride in public in a quiet way. A way for other aces to see and recognize each other. A black ring on your right middle finger. For aromantics, it's the same concept, but a white ring on your left middle finger.” They nodded, small smiles on their faces. A thought tugged at your brain, making your confidence and smile drain right out of you. What if you messed things up by explaining? The boys must think you're weird or pining for attention.

“You don't think of me differently now, do you?”

“How do you mean?” David asked.

“Just.. thinking I'm weird… or confused... or broken.” You looked down, embarrassed and afraid. Their silence was deafening. It would be easier to deal with if they just started yell-

“Of course not, peaches.” Paul's voice left no room for argument. “We don't think you're broken or weird. You just experience the world a little differently, and that's okay.” Your head shot up, looking at him. The other three nodded. A weight left your chest, forcing air into your lungs as your brain forgot how to breathe. They didn't think you were broken. They didn't think you were weird or looking for attention or confused. They saw you for you. Pressure pooled behind your eyes, blurring your vision before a blink sent the warm water down your face.

“You mean it?” Your voice shook and you hated it. The four looked stricken with worry and a deep sense of care.

“Of course we mean it, darling. We love you for you.”

“Thank you for trusting us with this. We know coming out can be hard, but it means a lot that you explained it to us.”

“We won't tell anyone, promise. That's information that is yours to disclose to whomever you choose.”

“We're still here for you, darling, that hasn't changed.”

******

It had been a few weeks since you had explained asexuality to your protective vampires. True to their word, nothing changed, and that small but incomparable fact made your heart soar. For the first time in a long time, you felt validated. You felt seen. You felt accepted.

Your pride grew even more when you noticed Paul start to wear a black ring on his right middle finger. From then on, you were a bit more loud and proud about your aceness.

[prayers-to-hyliarceus]

Hello! I am working my way through the internet in order to gain a broader perspective on life; your blog interested me, so I hope to ask you a few questions, if you wouldn't mind.

First, and I am itching for an answer to this, your relationship with time seems fascinatingly bizarre! I wonder if you might elaborate under how such things happened; unsurprisingly, I have only ever experienced time as a matter of linear cause-and-effect, not a potential tangle of timelines. I have, however, heard many posited theories as to how such travel through time would work, and its consequnces! The most robust, to me, seems a stable time loop, but with your experiences with non-linear time I thought you may be able to bring a practical perspective to my theoretical musings.

Second, you have earned the companionship of a Mythical Pokémon! It appears to have been a mere matter of happenstance, so I don't think there is much for me to gain in asking how, but I am curious as to what it is like; I understand you do not seem to have comparative experience, but merely explaining your relationship would be, if not enlightening, at least interesting!

Third, you have travelled between universes, correct? What was your home dimension like? How is it distinct from this one, and how is it similar? Do you have a particular preference? How are you adjusting? I understand this is many questions all at once, so you may ignore some if it would help you from being overwhelmed, but I am deeply curious as to how universes could potentially differ!

I hope this is a manageable amount of questions! I will admit, my perspective on how much text a person can manage at once is skewed for several reasons, and I have much to say and ask, so I hope that you are not overwhelmed. I look forward to your response!

Oh, this is a lot. Apologies - this will probably take a while to answer!

Well... my relationship with time is... complicated? The whole story is a bit of a mess, and I'm not sure if it will answer any of your questions, so I will try to be concise. Some time ago in Hyrule, I was sent far into the past via secret stone amplifying my apparently already-present time powers (I was completely unaware of them - and secret stones are artifacts that only amplify the powers of their wielder. They cannot create powers). For personal reasons, I really hate dwelling on the following events, so I will skim over this - I managed to return to my present time, but not... immediately. That is why my... technical age is so high. As for what my secret stone does - again, it amplifies my time magic, and I can recall objects through time by making them follow the path they just took. Say for example, I throw a pebble. If I activate my time powers, I can recall that pebble into my hand by making it go back in time. That's all I can really tell you - sorry if this doesn't help.

Celebi is honestly... just like any other Pokémon, based on my observations. She is very powerful and is to be adequately respected, of course, being able to harness the use of strong Pokémon moves and manipulate time as well, but she has simple needs too. Like having a constant craving for spicy food (I will never understand that), or wanting to socialize or play, or having a bit of a mischievous side to her. I notice similar things among other trainers playing with their own Pokémon.

Hyrule Kingdom is my home dimension. To start... well, it is quite distinctive from this world due to the complete absence of Pokémon. The closest things to them are probably the monsters, but I don't think you would want to try to tame a Lynel with a small metal ball anytime soon. Notably, weapons such as swords and bows don't seem to be very commonplace here, as opposed to where every wandering traveler in Hyrule knows it's common sense to carry some kind of weapon to defend against monsters. I could go on all day about how Hyrule is like - but I think that's making me a tad bit homesick. So I won't. Preferably, I would like to be back home in Hateno Village, yes, but I've only been in this world for a couple weeks and I love so many things about it already. Despite living in Hyrule all my life, I think I would be rather sad if I were forced to leave soon (that won't be happening anytime soon because I have no idea how I would be able to travel across universes at all!). I am adjusting... rather fine, honestly. I think my above sentiments suggest that.

I'll admit, I'm a little flattered that you're so interested in my experiences! I must thank you, actually - it was fun answering most of these questions.

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

seiga kaku?

im gonna actively try to keep myself concise and to single points because its been so easy for me in the past to get lost in wicked hermit thoughts and veer off who knows where... Part of it surely has to do with how a long time ago i used to have an rp blog on tumblr where i spent everyday thinking about seiga to some extent!

General opinion/How much I care about them: there was a long period of time where i would say without a doubt she was my single favourite character in touhou. I couldn't properly point to any one reason, or any tidy chain of events that might have led to it, other than learning about her, reading and seeing various very formative doujin works featuring her and the th13 crew, and maybe some old-fashioned projecting led me to latching onto every aspect of her... These days, there's a lot of touhous I obsess and go wild over and to even greater extents than her, but seiga objectively has the longest history of making me go a little nuts, whereas even aya took a little more time to nettle into my brain.

I like Seiga a lot and ive thought about her a lot, is what im getting at!

A ship I love: seiyoshi (seiga/yoshika) is funny in that it has a lot of little 'requirements' to me. Like if intepreted as just purely the evil hermit controlling a tool that she herself murdered to obtain, i think thats boring. But likewise, if its intepreted as just the hermit tragically trying to preserve her departed beloved, well that might be better but still lacking to me.

i couldnt possibly get across my ideal backstory for them right now, but the ultimate gist of it is that Seiga definitely did care for the living Yoshika who then died unexpectedly, before Seiga could decide herself whether she would commit to teaching her the ways of the hermit or simply get bored and move on. Her main motivation in performing the most ludicrously evil magic and create a jiangshi was because she refused to let even the natural order of life and death take anything away from her.

....Thaaaat all aside, i think their interactions in present day are just really funny 😄 Seiga 'spoiling' her dear Yoshika who laughs off being a meat shield because its not like she can die again!

A non-romantic relationship that I love: I think Seiga and Futo have the most oddball dynamic among the taoists and also Futo is probably the only one Seiga wouldn't have intense romanctic tension with. Futo who is a weirdo herself, acknowledges Seiga as their wise teacher of the arts (calling her seiga-donno) and yet also does not think of her as above any of them in their little personal hierarchy because Futo knows Seiga has no interest in being a proper retainer to Miko, so all of Futo's formalities almost come off as either sarcastic or as a really esoteric form of endearment. Meanwhile, Seiga probably thought a long time ago Futo would grow weary of things like loyalty and matters of noble blood or talking like an ancient old person, but none of that happened and Futo remains the same as ever, which has been altogether surprising, charming, and exasperating for Seiga (and everone else but they're all mostly charmed 😊)

The NOTP: i guess you'd have to work especially hard to get me to gel with pairing her up with any of myouren temple's folks. I get the temptation since every other taoist has one or two easily paired up counterpart there, but its not enough to just cross a checklist and leave it at that!

(that said, if you were gonna pair up buddhists and taosists thematically, i get why one might put seiga with shou since they were technically most vital in backstory with miko/byakuren respectively, and also because they both have a servant, one jiang-shi and a mouse. but i always thought seiga made a better parallel witn nue personally)

My biggest headcanon about them: most of this post is already headcanon, but as for another 'big' one...

I believe over the last thousand and whatever years, Seiga made semi-regular (as in maybe once every few years or a century?) visits to the tomb where Miko and gang slept, indulging and refreshing her memories of them, chatting up Tojiko who is now a ghost. And then sometime in 2011 right as her hermit senses told her it was finally time to meet them all again, she went to to tomb to greet them all only to find out literally the entire place was gone 😨

so all within like a week or something, Seiga had to go on a mad investigative quest where she discovered they had all been whisked to Gensokyo at some point, had to learn what the heck Gensoyko even is, how to get herself there, and then arrived just in time to get blasted by the incident resolvers. Really busy time in her life!

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: ha... one day, my multi-part seiga backstory fic incorporating every stray headcanon i've ever had. and then i quit writing forever maybe n_n

That aside, a funny scenario would be Okina appearing trying to stir drama because Seiga is basically the reason why Miko divorced Okina. And Seiga has no idea who she is or about any of that because Miko never mentioned it 😌

Something that makes me think of them: pretzels.

also its someone elses fault but luo tianyi is just the seiga vocaloid to me 😑

[tf2shipswag]

ok so first and foremost i dont agree with ppl being mean and insulting you because thats not how you get people to listen to what you have to say so i am sorry about the prev ppl immediately going to attack you but im not going to sit here and minimize their anger because its not baseless and they are well within their right to feel that way. im coming here to try and at least offer my view as a lesbian, which i doubt will do anything but its worth a shot i guess.

i dont agree with the implication that 'bi/mspec lesbian' labels are not harmful when they are fundamentally lesbophobic, biphobic, and transphobic from the talking points ive seen, and hurt us. implying that lesbians can feel attraction to men is the same rhetoric homophobes push onto us in real life to try and imply our sexuality is a phase and can be cured. "you just need to give men a chance." yk things of that nature. im not going to dive deep into the biphohia of it because i do not live the experience of a bisexual and i dont want to talk over bisexuals but i think it speaks for itself when people are so adverse to the label. you must ask yourself why are you so afraid to identify as bisexual? lesbianism has always included nonbinary, trans, gnc, and intersex people. and if its 'too restrictive' then it does not apply to you. lesbians do not and will not ever be attracted to men, i know its hard to believe but yes! people who arent attracted to men exist! we exist! i feel people are so angry and emotionally charged is because we are tired. tired of facing lesbophobia from outside and within the community. sorry for the long ask i tried to keep it short and concise. all i can say is please listen to actual lesbians.

hi, thank you for not being an ass an providing an actual argument, i very much appreciate that /gen. there genuinely is a horrid amount of lesbophobia, biphobia, and transphobia within the community. i know that there are a lot of arguments that the mspec label contributes to such. i just cannot get over the fact we are having fights like this within a community that is actively being attacked so heavily as a whole, especially right now.

your argument's reminiscent of the idea that the pan label is biphobic. genuinely, some people just identify with one label more than another, and sometimes people feel best defined by a combination of labels. even if the difference between the definition of bi and pan is miniscule to you, it might be big enough of a difference to someone else for it to matter.

it's not about "fear" of identifying as a certain label, sometimes it just doesn't. feel. right. once again! i could identify with bi, pan, omni, whatever label! but it's just not me. this has been said before, but nothing about identity is simple. feeling like we need to separate each other all into our own little boxes is incredibly isolating. the point of having this community to begin with, is so we all know that we're not alone.

everyone's just trying to live their lives. you genuinely seem like you have good intentions and god, i KNOW that this argument's tiring, and i can't imagine what it's like to deal with all the other arguments targeted against lesbians in particular, and i won't act like i'll ever understand the struggle with lesbophobic arguments, since i'm not a lesbian.

but people outside of the community are taking advantage of this argument even existing in order to make life worse for us as a whole, regardless of whatever label you choose to use. whether you're bi, a lesbian, or a bi lesbian, doesn't matter to the people passing bills against our rights and healthcare and protection. any difference to them is equally wrong. i'd rather stand against that idea as a whole than go along with it to suit whatever i'm trying to convey.

i just don't want to cause people to struggle to be themselves and live their lives simultaneously. majority of us have that same goal. even if we don't agree with each other along the way, at the end of the day, we all just want to feel safe and happy.

[josecariohca]

hi again! hope you're in good health! your answer to the pirate au gave me life, if you ever wanna share more/info-dump about it I'll be happy to take a seat and listen. Since we have similar brain worms about them and it seems you've been on the spamano block even longer than I have I was wondering if you have any fic recs for them? (side note do you have an ao3?) or just any type of rec for spamano at all?

hi again!!! you must have the patience of a saint for waiting so long, but yes hello i am here and i have been DYING to answer your ask and once again i stuck it under a read more bc what is concise wording??? idk her shes not here we only ramble here! warnings for excessive over-explanation and the obsessive thoughts of someone who has been in this stupid fandom for way, way too long.

i also wanted to address the super sweet notes you wrote on your original ask that had me smiling like an absolute fool, btw!!!! so first off: THANK YOU AND IM SO GLAD YOU AGREE!!!!! listen, the canon dynamic between these two has always given me a very severe case of brain rot, and the ways in which that dynamic can be removed from canon and smacked into any au is just soooooo juicy. and while yes i do adore airhead spain with all my heart, i do see it as very reductive to his character and who he actually is. and this also kinda bleeds into answering this ask, so yay! two birds one stone!

my entire thing with these two is the fact that spain is, at his core, an empire. god, gold, glory. that was his whole thing, ruthlessly so. and while yes i do believe the nations dont personify their governments and instead represent the best of their people, it would be foolish to ignore what it means for spain (and antonio) to be the spanish empire, bloody, greedy, damned, troubled, all of it. and that bleeds a lot into how i imagine antonio to be!

antonio (and spain) will always carry a lot of guilt to me. he acts sweet and bubble and sunshiny, and i do think he genuinely is that way naturally, but a lot of it is also an attempt to distance himself from what he used to be, either from guilt, from wanting others to forget, or for whatever reason. who he is in current day is not who he was, but its still there and it is something he grapples with constantly. so, in the vein of my pirate au, antonio as a pirate is someone who is angry.

hes angry at the world, hes angry at his government, hes angry at the state of life for anyone who isnt wealthy and born into generational status, hes angry at the favoritism, at the restrictions, at everything. hes someone who wants freedom. spain as a character doesnt like to be restrained, hated his forced job of folding flowers, hated he couldnt do more when he was once so powerful (to the point where america even said anytime spain was near him hed try and hit him with his knees, so clearly he knows how to hold a grudge) and antonio would feel a lot of resentment to the state of the world as it exists around him but unable to change it—until he can

and lovino, who is angry but for so many other reasons. lovino, who is born into a gilded cage that he cant even touch, lovino, whose entire life was built around his younger (legitimate) brother who will one day inherit everything his grandfather passes on that lovino cannot have, even if they do love him, even if they do cherish him and give him an education and steady work and a comfortable life. but thats not enough, and why would it be? his name is worthless in this society. he barely exists outside of his small family, and whenever he's there, there is always the elephant in the room of none of this is mine, none of this will ever be mine. so yes hes angry, hes resentful, but hes also stuck. where can he go, realistically, when this is all hes ever known? and he loves his family. hes loyal, hes caring, he adores his family. he just also resents them because they are everything he can never be. (and i do throw seborga into the brothers. they are a trio to me and they always will be!)

so when they meet, when antonio sees this little angry brat with so much pent up aggression start barking insults at him in front of his own crew, how can he not be fascinated by that? and he sees someone wearing a shiny family crest of a prominent venetian family, and its so easy to him. take him, maybe teach him some respect, dump him in italy, get some money, and fuck off to the ocean again for the next prize.

and it would work if they both werent so fucking stupid at the same time. bc just like romano and spain, these two are two sides of the same dumb ass spectrum. angry and hopeful with different styles of attachment that fit just perfectly enough to make it feel clandestine. two people who could just so happen to understand where the other is coming from, with enough understanding to get it. and suddenly theyre not so different after all, are they, considering they both got screwed over in life, forced into roles they didnt want until someone gave them an out, until they give each other an out.

and then it becomes a lot less about stealing from the world and keeping it for themselves as it is giving each other the world, wealth and riches that belong to them and them alone, an open ear and willing hands and the understanding that antonio would rip the stars from the sky and temper raging oceans for lovino if he asked, hoping only for lovino to love him in return and choose to stay, to seek freedom and something different.

its entirely selfish and dangerous and doomed to fail from the start, which we as people in 2024 know, but its romantic in its desperation and honest in how actual real life pirates were furious with their lives and were entirely fucked over after the war of spanish succession, and while yes most of those pirates were english (and arthur is a big player in this story too, obvi), spain did have its fair share, esp in retaliation to what the english were doing to spanish treasure ships.

WOW that was a lot im so sorry for how long that is. i hope it is in some way understandable and not just rambling jibberish fghjkjh as for fic recs!!! babe how much time to do you bc i have like. thousands. ill start with my favorite few though, and maybe youll find something you like in them!

some are long, some are short, some are not as much romantic as they are doomed and haunted, and some are nauseatingly sweet, but its a range of stuff. let me know what you like and im sure i can tailor these more to your tastes!

in no particular order, some of my all time favs:

those who loved us all along by aalesundbren

the problem with being known by baybetime

the bocca della verità duology by nyoengland

ravish by ludwiggle73 (spamano isnt the main pair, its second to fruk, but its a good fic nonetheless)

underneath the gilded lights by kai_maciel (spamano is a very small part of this, its mainly centered around latam and portugal, but the parts they do have are cute and i love how spain is characterized. it has a second part with a few other spamano bits, if youre interested)

anything that champagnesly has ever written about spamano. one of my all time favorite authors, even if they havent been in the fandom in a very long time. their wine verse is a personal fav and i read it when i was younger and i still go back to read it now. same for oblivion, the blue hours, and tbh anything else spamano theyve ever written

we are all businessmen by soliloquium

tesoro mio by (they orphaned the fic, i do know who the author is but since its orphaned idk if they want me to say their name???? either way, great fic!)

more than attraction by whitetyger12

and finally, anything mareepysheepy has ever written for spamano, with a particular shout out to give and take

okay, thats all ill do for now. i have so many fic recs that ive accumulated over the years for this pairing, but hopefully you find something somewhere in this mess that you end up enjoying. sorry again for the wait and i hope this made up for it!!!!

you are a delight to my day and THANK YOU for allowing me to ramble endlessly about my stupid pirates

[inventedfangirling]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke ! I was surprised when i saw the notification pop up but yaay I loved reading your answers and I'm very excited to try this out too. Thanks for tagging me🤗

Credit to the creator of this game @thatgirl4815 of the Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

Fair warning, almost the entirety of this is going to be filled with Bad Buddy related responses and it's gonne be the opposite of concise *SURPRISE* so yes lezgo...

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy. It was the second thai QL i have ever watched and THE ONLY reason i decided to actually consume more of thai QL content cos this show moved me in a way nothing i had ever seen until then had. It was queer, it was asian, it intentionally subverted so many tropes i hated, gave us inkpa AND patpran-one of the most beautiful and respectful love stories ive ever seen that culminated in an ending that is as happy as it is realistic and i am still in awe of p'aof and ohmnanon and the gem they made. But also. Just for episode 5. Perfection. Also, Episode 7 my beloved. And Episode 11 the love of my life. Bad Buddy you will always be my favourite <3

Favorite Pairing: OhmNanon -> PatPran ofc! I've never seen the appeal of childhood friends to lovers until i saw Patpran's childhood frenemies to adult frenemies to friends to lovers. Just the most organic growth of a bond whose seeds were sown even before they were born. But most importantly once they grew up and were confronted with obstacles and realities, they chose to love eo and kept on choosing eo. Their love, their regard for eo, the way they cared for eo, it's all so very precious and i just won't ever love a romantic pairing the way i do patpran, and it's half because of just how brilliant ohmnanon's chemistry worked, they are EVERYTHING to me.

I also LOVE First & Khaotung's chemistry. Great Stuff. Also Net & James.

Most underrated actor: I don't know if i have watched enough shows to comment on this since the actors i mention might actually be well appreciated and not strictly underrated but yes Fluke Gawin Caskey is on my list too. I feel that his drop dead gorgeous looks have somehow made his real acting chops appear like an afterthought when in reality it so isn't. Kinda have similar feelings about Net from Bed Friend as well.

I loved LOVE from bad buddy, and i can't wait to see her in 23.5 with Milk. Suar from You're My Sky & La Pluie, and Title also from La Pluie, War from Love Mechanics, First & Khaotung from Eclipse (i know they are well loved but still!) i REALLY enjoyed their performances.

Favorite Character: Pran Parakul my beloved. Pran is in so many ways so similar to me i immediately took a liking to him. I don't know how much my love for Pran is inextricably tied to how Nanon played the part but the pining and the love that was just on display but hidden oh so beautifully, my heart hadnt ached for a character in a romance story in so long. And then the love is reciprocated and then instead of the character doing a full 180 and being unrealistically happy we see him struggle to adjust, we see him learn and grow and finally accept the love he had been wanting all along, and along the way learning to be a better partner too, more gushing on pran here, cos i'm incorrigible.

Favorite Side Character: Pa from Bad Buddy. I love love love Pa and Pat's bond. I love how Pa is like Pat's compass pointing him in the right direction (more often than not) and Pat listens and actually follows up on what she says. And also "men are so boring, and are all men delusional like you" NO ONE DOES IT LIKE PA I SAY. Special mention to Ink & her "It's so gainful".

Also Tee from Gap The Series, Palm's mom from Never Let Me Go, the uncles from My Ride (they remind me of Patpran with all their bickering ahhh), Tien & Bow from La Pluie, Pharm & Manow from Between Us, Pear from Be My Favorite. Oh also everybody in Cher's friendgroup from A Boss and a Babe.

Favorite scene in a QL: I'm gonna cheat cos there is no way i can pick one, so here's 5, all from Bad Buddy: ep 5 rooftop Kiss, that whole scene in ep 7 where pat shows up as Riam and saves the play, the balcony phone call scene ep 8, ep 11 the scene that starts with Pat thanking Pran for "trying to make a silly guy like me happy" and also the scene where Pran follows "i wrote this song for him" up with singing the beautiful song that was "our song" SOBBBS.

But also Thun's coming out scene in He's Coming to Me is so so very special to me.

Okay maybe that's more than 5, but i already said i'd cheat so :333

Favorite line in a QL: So many lines from Bad Buddy I could just go on and on under this prompt BUT okay i'll be good this time if i had to pick one just rn then - "Together, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve experienced wonderful times a lot. We’ve had awful times a lot. We’ve looked out for each other a lot. We’ve been concerned about each other a lot. We’ve been thinking about each other a lot and we’ve been happier, a lot." will just have to be the winner. What a crown worthy answer, my baby Pran is right as usual.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): 23.5 degrees. GMMTV finally releasing a GL show after years and years of BL content. And also MilkLove together after Bad Buddy & INKPA NEED I SAY MORE!?!?

But also "Last Twilight" cos i cant wait to see what P'aof's been cooking.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Patpran, again xD. This is extra special because they had all the obstacles that could have made this such a toxic relationship and yet they focused on respect and consent and healthy communication and caring for each other and understanding each other and becoming better versions of themselves because of and with each other and the prominent way consent is emphasized in all their intimate moments, it's just EVERYTHING to me.

Also Mork & Tawan from My Ride. Rarely do we get to see such an equally contributive and reciprocal and healthy relationship. It was a pleasure to watch.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Maybe VeeMark from Love Mechanics. They were cute and shiz but just way too much back and forth and miscommunication just NO.

Guilty pleasure series: Bed Friend

Most underrated series: My Ride, He's Coming to Me, You're My Sky

Tagging @sharingfandoms, @aroceu, @thecriers, @midnightfreeway, @lovelyghostv, @fiercynn, @thegayneurodivergentagenda and whoever else who wants to try this, no compulsion &lt;3