#i have such a huge fucking anxiety about this cause i was told im getting a call related to some stuff this week and if i cant answer it?

[andragoras-in-vanity]

panicattackpnaicattackpanicattackpanicattack

idk why ive been like this for a week or so, but i even just thinking about popping my headphones in with an instrumental playlist almsot sent me off the rails

[critterbutt]

just woke up and read something that made me think so i am gonna babble about it now

my brain is broken.

genuinely, i have brain damage. scar tissue on my hippocampus. my doctors always theorized that is likely the cause of my anxiety, depression, and is almost definitely why im epileptic (even tho years back i had my regular test and it showed no signs of the activity associated with a seizure, they eventually told me to be mindful of the things that could trigger a seizure anyway, just to be safe. so i still say im epileptic)

and it's awful to know that any of those things could one day kill me. it's like my brain is... something i have to be wary of constantly

but.

and this part is fucked up to me

i am SO glad that my brain is damaged.

if i didn't have these weird bouts of paranoia or constant self-destructive thoughts or even those rare (and admittedly super scary) hallucinations or any of the other fucked up shit, i wouldn't make the art i do

i hate all those things but they have shaped me a certain way and i like that

and that's weird and fucked up but considering my penchant for being hugely pessimistic, it's also really good for me to find something positive amidst all that

idk it's just. i hate a lot about myself. but turning the literal pain i have from just existing into art that people can relate to or find cathartic is... it's precious to me.

that part of me that can turn my own struggles into something positive? and have people say they get it? i love it. i really do. it's an awful way to cope, stewing in my own head and constantly feeling unsafe while i do, but it's beautiful too

i used to be so angry and upset about my brain damage. i hated that it's what gave my art power. (can't think of another word)

now tho... idk. i don't mind half the time. im never gonna be able to fix the scar tissue on my brain, so i have to deal with it.

on the bad days im still gonna wish it wasn't there but

i am acknowledging that it has also shaped me into who i am and honestly? i don't hate myself as much as i used to

[vwritesawholelothm]

PART TWO BITCH FISNFJWBDIJWDUSNSU I WILL DECENT INTO MADNESS YOUR ASS CUBEDUNWUDSIDNEIDWD YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUVE FUCKING UNLEASHED. I AM FERAL NOW. FUCKING FERAL. I NEED THIS PART TWO MORE THEN I NEED MY JOB OR COLLEGE

AND HELL YEAH IM REPOSTING THIS RANT SO YOU CAN SAVE IT FOR REFERENCE AND WRITE THAT DELICIOUS PART TWO

Like I feel like theirs such a connection in that. Toralei with her childlike fear and Lagoona with her Childlike comfort item? It’s just. Gosh cienfunwdinsid. Adorable.

but we’ve already seen how it went with Toralei threatening Lagoonas secret. It’s like. In all honesty. I don’t even think Toralei cared about Senor Squeaky. Like she personally didn’t care. It was all just. About holdinb some control. She knew Lagoona cared about it. And that gave her power. And it’s like. Logically. Lagoona probably thought her secret would ruin her reputation. Which is the only reason she didn’t want others finding out. But others did and no one cared.

Toralei I feel like. It’s just. Much more deeper. She would legitimately lock herself in her room forever if others found out about her fear. Cause to her it’s not just like. A toy. It’s a weakness. It’s a crippling weakness and fear that makes her feel small and tiny and it’s probably something her mother has humiliated her about. It’s traumatic as well. It sends her into panic attacks every time. She has unwilling full body reactions. She physically can not control what she does when a storm happens. Can not control the fear. It’s overwhelming. It would be soul crushing.

So having it held against her is like. THE ULTIMATE angsty thing. Gosh. I’m literally just. Practically drooling over how perfect this is

HAHAH AND THIS

The way I’m foaming at the mouth for the Toralei blackmail fic. Cause like. That can genuinely get so angsty.

Cause Lagoona is not gonna understand how serious it is. She will genuinely not. Senor squeaky worried her sure. But conventionally she would still have her friends. It would not ruin her life.

Toralei on the other hand? It would fucking wreck her. So having it blackmailed against her would cause her to enter an unhealthy state of paranoia and anxiety. Like she won’t be able to sleep at night at all. Every waking second would be dedicated to her worrying if Lagoona told someone. She’d suck/chew on the collar of her jacket anxiously and her hands would be patchy from where she’s rubbing them constantly. Like she’d probably throw up from the stress and anxiety of it all. She’d barely leave her room and look like a wreck when she did.

Clawdeen, her girlfriend, would obviously see something is very fucking wrong. She probably assumed it was Catarina at first. But when mentioning it to her friends Lagoona probably gets all sneaky and proud. Be all like ‘Oh no! I just finally got dirt on Toralei so she can’t tell anyone about Senor Squeaky!”

And Clawdeen freezes and is like ‘what did you find?’ And she’s like. Much more serious than Lagoona is assuming. Cause like. In Lagoonas mind. It just cancels out the senor squeaky. Like they’re even now it’s barely a blip on the radar. But for Toralei her fear of thunder is a mountain compared to a molehill. It would literally tear her apart from the inside and she probably has a huge mental breakdown about it when Clawdeen eventually comes and tries to comfort her cause it’s clear she hasn’t slept in days.

And she low key realizes immediately that this needs to stop cause Toralei is like. Suuuuper mentally broken at the moment. Like fuck. She’s so stressed and anxious she’s having panic attacks like every hour. And she probably looks like a crazy person. Mumbling to her self and shit. Barely attending her classes. Even her cousins can’t get through to her.

And of course theirs the even deeper fear of Her mother. Like. If Lagoona told people. Then word would get out. It would spread. Enough that her mother could possibly even hear. And if hee mother hears that’s legit the end of her life. Her mother would whisk her away from monster high so fast. And if you think students would be cruel in teasing her. Her mother would be a fucking monster. And a real one at that. She’d be practically sociopathic.

As a stripe she would not be able to have a daughter with such a weakness. So she’d force Toralei through conversion therapy type shit. Probably lock her in a box outside every time there was a storm until she wasn’t afraid anymore. Or something else as fucked up.

So yeah. Clawdeen can’t easily tell something’s gotta happen cause Toralei is literally falling apart before her eyes.

she probably tries to initially convince Lagoona to take it back. But of course Lagoona is all like ‘Clawdeen? How could you say such a thing. You know what she did? She could still do it! You’re my friend. Why are you doing this?’

And so that fails for now.

And idk. Clawdeen probably tries to talk to the were twins. See if they know anything that could get Toralei to act more sane. But they’re at a loss. And genuinely a little terrified cause they’ve never seen toralei like this.

It gets to the point that theirs a thunderstorm and by habit Clawdeen goes to Toraleis room to comfort her (cause bitch you bet Clawdeen would do that for her girlfriend) and like. Immediately panics cause for once toralei isn’t there. She asks Lagoona and Lagoona (still grumpy) probably just says she’s cowering somewhere like a scared kitten.

Clawdeen fuckinb SNAPs cause this is her girlfriend and she loves her and Lagoona doesn even fucking know what she’s doing to her. Like she absolutely rants the hell out of her. Explaining just how bad Toraleis gotten and how this is also largely cause of her mother. And she basically makes Lagoona realize just how out of hand it’s gotten. (Cause again. In Lagoonas mind. They’re probably even. Like. Seeing toralei like this was probably just funny to her. She didn’t actually understand just how much it was tearing her up inside cause she hid as much as she could from her).

The two then run all over the school trying to find wherever Toralei might be. Cause clawdeen knows she’s gotta be having the mother of all panic attacks. They run into the were twins who say their room is locked. And it’s deduced Toralei escaped to their.

Clawdeen gets to the door and werewolf’s it open. Toraleis hiding underneath one of the twins bed but she immediately starts screaming at them tk get out. Clawdeen says it’s okay and that she’s here. But Toralei still says to get out.

thinkin quickly. Clawdeen asks them all to leave. Even the were twins. They’re all very confused but Clawdeen closes the door and crawls under the bed with Toralei sayinh it’s just her and that it’s okay. Toralei is super freaked out about Lagoona being there. Saying she’s just gonna use it against her even more.

Clawdeen tells her that that won’t happen anymore. And thag it’s ok. And that it’s been scary for so long but she’s here now and she can let go cause she’ll be safe if Clawdeens there. General sweet shit. Toralei has the ultimate breakdown. The storm ends. Clawdeen lets the others in. They all climb under the bed. Lagoona apologies and swears not to tell anyone. And the were twins feel sorry that they weren’t able to help her. And that their here for her if Clawdeen ever isn’t.

and theirs all a nice big snuggly ending.

BUT ONLY AFTER A SHITLOAD OF ANGST OK

Ehhhhhh something like that

Chapters: 3 Fandom: Monster High (Cartoon 2022), Monster High: The Movie (2022) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Toralei Stripe, Lagoona Blue Additional Tags: I look some elements from the 2nd movie but it's mostly rooted in cartoon canon, Toralei Stripe has Astraphobia, Señor Squeaky, Blackmail, Episode: s1e04a Witch Hitch, everyone makes very questionable decisions, Toxic Lagoona Blue & Toralei Stripe Friendship Summary: When push comes to shove, Lagoona turns the tables on Toralei's blackmail.

[honeydewmilkk]

Imma just write on here bc I don’t really have anyone lol

But damn, this year has put me through IT and it’s not even done yet. My car got totaled in the beginning of the year and that caused me to cancel the San Fran birthday trip I had planned for my pookie cause he had never been there. To top that off, my insurance didn’t wanna cover shit so I had to spend a few months (5mos) going back and forth with my lienholder & the new insurance provided by my lienholder in order to work something out and pay off most of my car. Fast forward to now, I only need a few hundred dollars to pay off because we were able to work something out. So yay!

While all that car shit was happening I also finally let go of a weird (kinda toxic?) friendship. I finally took accountability that I was enabling weird behavior (she would stalk male kpop idols whenever they came to LA cause she wouldn’t do this with the females) and told her I couldn’t be friends with her anymore because her behavior was making it really hard. At first she would just drive around hoping to bump into kpop celebrities but somewhere down the line she started staying at hotel entrances & exits. It was really messy bc I told our mutual friends (who also like kpop) she was basically a stalker and when she found out she tried to say that I was lying or something. Like damn no accountability or self awareness? Ok.. but anyway. The whole time this was going down I had really bad anxiety to the point where I was throwing up, shaking, having cold sweats & the Hershey squirts. I wish I was fucking joking. Mainly bc I never stand up for myself or call anyone out, I hate confrontation and hate seeming like the bad guy but it felt wrong to just keep her predatory behavior a secret. Besides this, she wasn’t really inconsiderate about my disability & was constantly trying to force me to do things I didn’t want to or couldn’t do.. but that’s a whole other story for another day.

I also got in a huge fight with my mom on my bday, yes on my BDAY u heard that right, bc ya know parents can be big jerks and as the eldest daughter I always get the shit end of the stick :-)

Now mind you, as mentioned, while ALL this is going on I also had to worry about my chronic pain and disability with my RA. 🤗 YAY!!!! (Sarcasm)

Right now im dealing with the aftermath of gaining all my weight back (250 to 231 back to 250.. rn I’m 237) which means my RA is acting up. I’m in constant pain and I’m trying everything to feel a least a little normal. I’ve been living off pain pills bc nothing natural is working. The pain has gone down a little but still there. I’m trying my absolute best so hopefully I can get right by the end of the year.

I’m hoping for these next few months to be better and I know they will. I know damn sure imma try to have a good rest of the year. I’m not giving up on myself or this life. I will try to make it beautiful.

[imaslothandsowhat]

the insurmountable fucking pain that my dad causes me by his behaviour is appalling. I'm becoming a person I despise to be, the person I so desperately do not want to be but he keeps pushing me and he keeps sucking out my blood and my sanity. he keeps embarrassing me, keeps hurting me, keeps causing me pain and misery and suffering. i love him but I also so deeply hate him and despise him.

another fight where a simple correction of his communication could've saved everything but he is so fucking deep in his ways that he refuses to see his fault anywhere. he keeps pointing at my mom, as if she spends endless nights dripping poison about him to be so I can hate him but he did it all to himself all himself. shortly, fucked around and found out.

i didnt want this day to turn out this way but I couldn't just fucking handle it anymore. he makes mistakes after mistakes that hurt and wound and cut and gut you deeply that you cant fucking stand up and you are just left there, bleeding your fucking guts out, your fucking heart out for a person that you so desperately try to give another chance, another chance, another chance, try to not think too hard about the good things never mounting up to all the horrors he brought into my life. i cant even go for the details bcos its all pointless. there is no logic, there is no way out. i just cant do this anymore. my throat hurts from screaming and I kept thinking that this kind of shit wont really affect my health but it does, it destabilises me horribly and I cant bounce again from it like I used to. but I should have never in my life bounced back from this shit bcos this trauma that was caused upon me is holding me at a tight leash with spikes from the inside, causing me to bleed out and scream from pain whenever I try to free myself from this collar.

i cant even write about it properly, i cant use this pain and trauma and this person in my stories to try to get over the trauma bcos the trauma is ongoing, its never fucking ending, its rooted deep in me and I cant carve it fucking out without fearing to shatter entirely.

i was never married, i barely had any relationships (and they were disastrous and traumatic on their own) and I have horrible social anxiety, I hate men so deeply and so sincerely that i don't know was it ever a farce to fit in or was it just brewing inside me since forever and i just found out the proper and best way to get my rage out.

im trying to calm down, trying to ground myself but all I want to do is to cry and grieve for everything I wish my father could have been and everything he will never amount to be.

a therapist once told me that i just have to accept it and make peace with this injustice. but I'm so full of rage and full of fight against the injustice not just for me but for everyone that I don't even know how it is to sit down and accept this pain and injustice that's being directed my way without a fight. i can't go down without a proper fight, I can't allow myself be defeated without fighting for my fucking life. i cannot just lie down and accept this bcos my pride and my sense of self is not wired this way.

i don't know what to do and i hope today will not turn into a huge fight day. I've had enough of this for a quarter of my life. I've had enough of this leech sucking away my blood and my youth and my love and my sanity. I've had fucking enough and I can't take this shit again.

fathers are the poison in a daughter's life. and daughters do not forgive.

[the1975attheirverybest]

So my evening kind of got ruined cause I was explaining my mom the exercises I do when I work out and she told me I should lose weight and now I feel like crap because I was so proud of myself because I've been working out since January and I only missed the weeks I had the flu and I know it's they way she grew up but still she always, always manage to use this insecurity against me.

And rationally I know I could eat less carbs and a little bit better and I don't like myself and my body so much but I was telling her I was proud of me, that wasn't the moment and honestly I don't know I honestly feel like shit.

Sorry I needed to vent.

Oh, babe. I’m so, so sorry. I just wanna give you a hug, ugh. 💗

This hurts me to read that you’re feeling that way because I know EXACTLY what it’s like. My mom grew up in a different country where the culture around body weight is even worse than it is here. And I think, maybe our parents generations just generally had really toxic beliefs about food and exercise. I definitely know they mean well, and it’s coming from a good place, etc. but it doesn’t make it any less hurtful to hear. Like, I was literally just on FaceTime with my mom, told her that the doctors say I have “constricted blood vessels” around my eyes that are making the skin in that area darker and she told me that I need to eat better. IM SORRY WHAT?! Then I told her about my anxiety and she said I should get a treadmill and stop eating sugar. Lmao. It’s truly a thing cuz clearly she thinks I look like shit, like why would that be the one comment that is on her mind.

Having your loved ones constantly focus on and point out your insecurities is so awful. Because they’re the ones who are supposed to support you and lift you up. So, you’re totally valid in how you feel. And, listen, regardless of what your mom or anything else says, YOU ARE DOING AMAZING. Working out consistently since January???? THATS A HUGE ACHIEVEMENT AND IM SO PROUD OF YOU. I used to be really disciplined with my exercise so I know the commitment that it takes to make that kind of change. I can’t even do it now to save my life. I’ve been so wishy-washy with it lately. So you are KILLING IT!!! On top of school and exams and stuff…it’s hard work! She may not see it as such or she may focus on what you still need to be doing but the fact of the matter is that you ARE making progress in the right direction. You’re taking care of yourself. Do it for you. For your health. It doesn’t matter how much you weigh or what your body looks like and it’s not fair to put that kind of judgement on you. You’re beautiful exactly as you are. The world is sexist and toxic so it may not agree, but fuck that shit. Sometimes the world is really wrong. And that’s okay.

[no-psi-nan]

The Most Dateable Dudes in Saiki K: Survey Results!

With 119 votes from viewers like you, we can finally crown the most dateable dude of the Saiki K main cast...

Congratulations to Kuboyasu Aren for being the most dateable, and to Nendo Riki for being a close second! 

Fun fact: Nendo was actually ahead for most of the voting time!

Of course, we can’t leave out the rest of the Saiki K dudes, so here’s the lineup:

More statistics and voter comments under the cut! Thanks everyone for playing, and to everyone with the laugh-out-loud quotes: stop being funnier than me wtf.

From the main cast...

Saiki Kusuo (16)

he's just like me fr. we wouldn't date we'd just be in a qpr.

He cares

Give coffee jelly and best boifriend

im aroace and so is he so we can just not date eachother

He'll settle for the most average bitch: me.

I'm personally too old to date these high schoolers but Saiki is genuinely the most fun to hang out with, plus he's such a giving and caring person that he'd be a great partner to someone he could trust and that could make him feel human again. It's not saikis fault he exudes capybara vibes.

He's respectful and I like how he doesn't really have expectations for anyone. I would like to play a video game with him at some point in time or just read books in the same room without talking.

Because i love him (though aren is a close second)

He is really considering and caring even if he hides it. He can revive time for any objects and thats a huge help with cleaning and healthcare. And he never judge his friends so thats a huge anxiety relif. And he is ace

I love Saiki!!! Yeah!! Love that guy!!!

Will have no huge problems as his friend and in his proximity, will be in proximity often. focused on me and my problems while trying to escape from dating. Every day a new adventure

Saiki Kusuo (without powers) (2)

without his powers kusuo is just a little guy. so horribly out of touch in a way that isn't obvious but EXTREMELY funny + less psychic fuckery means i don't have to worry about the negatives, and it's not like i was going to expect anything like that from any other partner. plus we're both aspec. it will be a lavender marriage, except neither of us have a secret gay relationship on the side

Nendo Riki (24)

im aroace and he is too and i want to hang out

Himbo. Enough said.

Listen, I'm a kaido stan but the answer is literally nendo. He can cook. He's good w/ animals & kids. His face would scare away creepy guys. His brain is so empty it makes more room for ~love for friends~. All he had to do was get a haircut and the entire class found him irresistible. When love expert Imu told saiki her vision of the perfect man he literally pictured nendo before she mentioned a perm. Wake up people.

NO EXPLANATION NEEDEAD HE'S LITERALLY THE BEST. you just gotta keep it a secret from him 'cause he thinks dating is only for the bad stuff. or explain to him that it's not just for the bad stuff

The lesser of 10 evils

Best Boy ever

The propaganda posted yesterday was very convincing. Also he's genuine and kind

good cook, loyal, friendly, has personality, himbo

he would treat me well i think

hes the only one with the emotional maturity. Saikis too angsty. Kaidous wayyy to angsty. Hairo maybe, but hes never gonna have a good work life balance, he'll put his training over you being his partner. idk whod ever pick toritsuka. kuboyasu was literally in a gang, im gonna give him a bit to learn how to be a functioning member of society. saiko is a bitch. satous boring as fuck, i love him but not as a date. akechi has never learnt how to talk normally in his life, love him but that doesnt make him dateable

Nendo

Kind himbo

Big heart himbo who can cook

He's just gorgeous and manly, he's peak male performance

i was told to put him

is it not obvious?

nendo beloved, no thoughts

I need a weird guy in my life. I need a guy who will lick door handles with me.

tbh honest the most normal. He's only undatable bc he's gross but idk. kuboyasus a close second maybe

Can cook, loves animals, is athletic. The whole package except for his haircut.

he is kind :)

Kaido Shun (10)

He's super sweet, shy, throws himself in to protect people, and he's a chuuni dork and I think that's a feature not a bug 😌 Also his studious nerdy side is cute. I will stand by this.

I might be choosing kaidou bc I'm a lesbian and he's the most femm guy ngl

He's absolutely adorable and I feel like he would be reliable.

He be cute

idk bro i just like pathetic dudes. i feel like he'd be fun to play video games with and bond over our terrible moms lol

Least likely to cause me physical or psychological damage over the course of our relationship. He's so awkward with romance dates would probably just be LARPing Jet Black Wings, seriously doubt anything romantic would actually happen and y'know what I'm cool with that. I wanna rp as my edgy middle school OCs too cringe culture is dead

We have similar levels of goblin- I'd say saiki but that is the most aroace guy I've ever seen. Love to be in a qpr with him tho 👍

he's so pathetic <3

Hairo Kineshi (13)

i feel like this isn't even a question like??? He's the obvious right choice. He'd treat you right

he's nice :)

hes not my fave BUT hes the most normal if you don't count satou, and satou is a little TOO normal so itd be boring. also hes hot and popular and he would put a lot of effort into the relationship

Drinks respect women juice (unlike some), not stuck up nor unattractive

He's break my heart w the most motivational speech ever +_+

He's a good guy, he'd never lie, and would be his partner's biggest cheerleader.

Hairo is the most likely and reasonable option to choose out of all the Saiki K men. We all know how Saiki reacts to others trying to date him. Nendo's oblivious, and Kaido is very kind but hes not ready for romance. Toritsuka is.... Toritsuka. Saiko tries to buy people. Aren is too much of a try-hard. I can't really imagine how Touma or Satou would be relationships. Hairo is the most respectful and compassionate man in Saiki K. He listens to people and speaks whats on his mind (even if its a little blunt). He can be much but thats ok

he's the most normal and least worst

he is so supportive and even if hes rlly intense he would be such a good bf

he's nice. & hot i guess (if you're into that)

He is the most considerate and seems to be the most ready for a relationship, though the bar is very low.

Toritsuka Reita (3)

;) i love me a man who is Awful (im gay)

Kuboyasu Aren (31)

hes not too much of an idiot (unlike nendou, kaidou(im sorry lmao), saiko) + he respects women (unlike toritsuka) + i dont headcanon him as aroace (unlike akechi and saiki) + hes not boring (im sorry satou) (+ i dont deserve hairo tbh)

Side characters think Saiki is bland, Nendo is so ugly that nobody will give him a chance (:() , Kaido has his whole chuuni side to him which is annoying for most (:(), Hairo is Hairo, Toritsuka is Toritsuka, Saiko would probably be third place because of his money status but he is still insufferable to a lot of people, side characters know that Satou is bland (though that could be a good thing who knows, he is my 2nd place) and Akechi would just talk and talk and talk which most people would find annoying. Kuboyasu is pretty good at masking his delinquent side nowadays and has become just an average guy who isn't bland. Some people also prefer bad boys, so there's that I guess.

He could drive me around with his motorbike and could wrestle with me, that's really all i need in life. If powerless Saiki could still ride a motorbike he'd be my second choice, because we actually have a lot in common. Or maybe that's not a good thing…

who else tbh

he's a badass

Can start shit and hide behind him.

Season two episode two where he gets a fake love letter he admits his loyalty to love and care about his spouse forever and is willing to just drop school to marry them. Also he's really handsome and strong and good at art

Loyal. Will beat up anyone who decides to look at me in a bad way.

With how he reacted to one single (fake) love letter I don't doubt the fact that he would take care of his s.o. very well

Seem like he would be fun to hang around without it being absolutely insane...i think...maybe...

LOOK AT THE DUDE!! mans was ready to marry and be loyal to a woman his whole life over a single love letter absolute husband material I tell ya plus, he's trying to be good

He would be DEVOTED to his partner. He's cute. Also bisexual.

Big and buff and kind

An all around good guy. Has proven he isn't afraid of commitment and sacrifices for a life together,  even dropping out. Is more than capable of protecting his partner, and also understands that his fighting lifestyle could put undue stress on his partner and their relationship and is willing to fully stop for them. He is respectful and has basic notions of what is and isn't socially appropriate, more than can be said about other members of the cast. He isn't desperate, or a pushover, a relationship with him is unlikely to be average to the point of boredom and he isn't excessively embarrassing to be with in public.

He’d make a genuine effort to be a good bf and make you happy. also weirdly i think he's the most normal one

Aren is a kind and loyal person, to his friends, his family and especially his lover. Aren doesn't need to constantly rely on people to become a better person, we've already seen from when he first appeared that he showed great discipline and restraint when he was trying to move on from his old delinquent life. His lover doesn't have to worry about about him 24/7, knowing that Aren can restraint himself and stay out trouble, he only ever really gets into fights with people that are awful. He always looks like he gives strong hugs and is very handsome.

He's hot n would treat me right. Need me a man that can kick someone's ass for me

hnnfg,,;,

Hes respectful but can also kick ass. He drinks his respect women juice everyday.

deeply dedicated to his potential partner + great at violence

H e's a dedicated and passionate guy.  He's someone who's actively trying to better himself, and personally I find that really admirable and kind of attractive dldhldhskd.

Remember that time when someone sent him a (prank) confession letter, he was so nervous and serious it was so funny and cute. Honestly all I could think about at the time was that I would love to date a guy who would take the relationship seriously, but still be nervous that I can tease him a lot lol.

The only con with Aren that I can think of is his background, realistically I dont think I want to date someone who has gang relations (not v sure. been a while since i read the manga, i dont remember if Aren was really in a legit gang or just a delinquent gang sorry. if he was in a legit gang, id be more scared).

Uhh other dateable characters I like are Nendou, Saiko Metori and Teruhashi Kokomi. Tbh Nendou's would be THE BEST boyfriend. But the reason why he's second place to me is bc he's too tall for me. Seriously. I'm 5ft and a half. I dont see what you guys see in 6ft men. I am Not craning my neck to kiss or even Look at my man. So sorry T_T

I also really enjoyed seeing Saiko slowly redeeming and becoming nicer and caring towards the end of the series. Honestly so heartwarming. I like him. Would date him actually, despite the attidude. I've dealt wih worse lol.

As for Teruhashi, honestly she's the one I can imagine what it's like dating her best. I can go on for much longer here but I already think my response is too long T_T. Just uhh yk if theres a girls section I maybe would pick her lrbrkrbkdndm.

Because I might get along with him better than anyone else. We also have the same goal of spending our lives loving one person.

Saiko Metori (1)

no one else is gonna vote for him <3 actual answer: he's cute he's rich and i can fix him

Satou Hiroshi (11)

the rest are insane i think. i love  them but if i were to date any of them there would always be something.  second best option would either be kaido or kuboyasu i think

Least bad option, and dating him  seems like a guarantee for a good relationship.

he's just a normal, nice dude who  won't drag you into insane situations or get you arrested or whatever

Respects women.

Satou? Nice normal dude, Ideal nice  quiet life with him and a nice simple romance that I want :)

not much will happen, you get  together, go on average dates, meet family, live average lives, over all  it'll be ok, a break up will probably be just as average too

normal. just a guy

He is the most normal out of them  LMAO (I love the others so so much but holy hell dating any of them would be  atrocious askdjksjd)

Idk man he's just a guy (not  blorbo)

I'm gonna sound like Saiki but he's  average and we have common interests. Not a lot of drama but life's not  exactly dull around him either. He can care the conversations but he'll also  let you ramble on.

Bro is the only man thatd treat me  right

Akechi Touma (7)

I need someone to ramble more than me... Also I need someone to deduce what happens next in some fanfictions that isn't finished yet because I can't wait and doesn't have insane deduction skill. I mean Kuusuke can do it but Kuusuke might kill me so no. Also I need more Akechi ramble, I like those, got me interested in blood-type personality pseudo-science influence in japan, and since Akechi asked people to not harass him because of his blood type, it would mean that he is likely not type A (+and-). His purple eyes also implies that he has actually some supernatural skills, since traditional folktales associate this with eyes colored purple. It is also a deep dark purple. Interestingly, his pupils dilates whenever he goes into rambling mode. This is to be noted, people in sknpn dilates their people when they're furiously crazy (see Kurumi). Crazy Akechi? I am all here for it. Also he would be useful if I want to blackmail someone, so I would of course try my best to be on his side. I am not the brightest person in the world, but I am not stupid either. Next would be Kaidou. Kaidou is a totally relatable dude, since I have the same weight and same height as him (159cm and 45kg). Kaidou has a normal caring mom, who is overbearing but very well care about him genuinely. He is the only mom who Kusuo has never say anything negative about (Midori being a ""capitalist pig"", Kurumi being ""an idiot""). I would do anything to have his mom as my mom, though my mom is good enough, just a little bit more physical. Kaidou is also basically as weak as me (sadly), and would share a passion for hating sport. I am interested in drawing his fantasies and would happily be with him, since he is a sweet, pure, genuine person. I think I should end this here since there're more comments and questions to answer below I suppose.

He can info dump on me as whitenoise to combat my tetanus. I could Info dump back on occasion. I think it would be fun. Plus he's good with bugs.

I dont want to date him im an adult i just want to be friends with this dude thats all

I have problems

is datable meant to mean for everyone? cause this answer kinda hinges on the fact that me and him have two flavors of neurodivergence that i think  would complement each other but thats just in my specific case. which is weird because im also aroace i just think wed get along?? i would give him a litol kissy on his head and then we'd go on wikipedia dates or something. i wish Akechi Touma was real because i absolutely would question my romantic/platonic attraction over him (something not a lot of people irl can claim ive done for them)  But if this question means datable in the sense of like, ideal guy i would recommend to others? it would probably be Nendo. hes sweet and doesnt have as much baggage (for lack of a better word) as the others. He would treat you right and hes tall which i guess is a characteristic people are interested in, no judgement to them of course lol

 Best of the Rest

Matsuzaki the Gym Teacher (24)

well matsuzaki is a nice guy and also i rewatched his introduction episode a few days ago so

another man who would treat you right

He's hard working (seemingly runs PK academy himself), cares deeply about his students, stable career

trustworthy, athletic, honorable

I wouldn't date him personally(see age), but he has good intentions

hes athletic with a stable job and idk i just get the vibe hed treat me right, y'know?

Im an introvert, he got my back

dilf. sorry the stubble and the lines under his eyes got to me.

He's cool and I like him.

you know. miss saiki close second

would NOT date him personally as i am not interested in people with DILF energy but he seems like a very good partner. go king shit.

he's neat

Respectful dude

himbo

dilf

He's cool.

look i just have issues

dilf energy

dilf

Similar reasons to Hairo; he's the most mature one and is very respectful, even if it does get lost in translation sometimes.

Id date Matsuzaki. Honestly dont know if we would be compatible but I really do like honest dudes. Remember that one time when some kids pranked him with a confession letter, and he really waited for someone to show up and rejected them kindly. Dude. I was like. Woah. That. That was genuinely so cool. That was genuinely so attractive. What the hell. I would love to date someone like that. I would also consider the mangaka, though honestly I feel like we are too similar it would almost be looking at a mirror (despite looking like complete opposites T_T). Hey maybe it would work out? But like. We could also be besties.

Kusuke Saiki (17)

Alright hes the worst and I want to study him

My taste in men is horrible

The insanity

He be psycho

Anime Kusuke, just to state. HES SO. AND FOR WHAT. thats it thats my truth

The mad scientist tm aesthetic

Brains?? rich?? idk man

He'd actually be awful to date he's just insane and I like that in a man

get married. high risk high reward. i am a lesbian though and if he was a lesbian mad scientist he would be extremely hot. but as is I'm just all about planning my divorce outfit and attempting to dodge certain death

Korosensei from Assassination Classroom (17)

I was going to choose Kusuke, because I've slowly realized that he's my blorbo, though he's trash. He's smart and I like passionate guys,,, if we could, redirect it a bit maybe. But then I saw Korosensei and all bets are off. Reaper form is hot, and as a teacher he's just so caring, and again, the passion for me.

Alien boy that likes teaching, what is there not to love?

Everyone else I either didn't know, didn't remember enough about to know if they were safe, or knew to be DEFINITELY not safe. Don't know much about Assassination Classroom, but my sister read the manga so I asked her if he was a decent person and she said yes. Asked if hanging out with him risked damage to my physical or mental health, she said as long as I was a good guy I'd be fine (and possibly benefit mental health?) so. He's probably good.

Korosensei is literally the ideal guy

Process of elimination

I uh,, I um, well, ya know ?

with or without tentacles he's still care for you and it wouldn't be as overbearing as the other options. I was originally going to choose Kusuke but I don't want to end up a lab rat

Shiragami Fudekichi (Mangaka of Silent Cyborg) (12)

I'll be honest here: I should have voted for Mr. Matsuzaki, but Fudekichi is really, really good-looking. I can be very shallow.

he's a mood

Could draw you.

Introverted artist thats says no to women objectification? Yes please. And he is a great artist and writer that even has a team of helpers and thats really impressive, u know?

hes pretty

he looks a little pathetic and i think its funny

Chono the Magician (7)

i want to roll him up into a ball and shoot hoops with him

i think itd be funny

Only one without any obvious terrible flaws preventing him, and he does seem to have both a stable job and a good amount of creativity and loyalty.

Nice dude! Has his life together!

He's sane

Kuniharu Saiki (6)

im about to embark on the greatest "i can fix him" project of all time

Kuniharu is hard-working, even if he is quiet useless. He is very loyal, and to be fair he does manage to provide for his family in the end with his shameless shoe-licking. He seems like the type to be devoted also my hands are tired. He is weak and won't be able to hurt a fly, and sweet person with questionable litterature skill. Nonetheless he is an admirable enough person, who enjoys the lovely domestic environment at his house rather than focusing on his career. Focusing on his career for money, etc would probably end at best as a normal divorce, in the workacoholic society that they live in. Thug-smile Shirigami is my scond choice. Young, successful and the best trait: he is so funny lmao. Just look at his passive aggressive doings towards Kuniharu. How could one not respect this man lmao.

There must be a reason why he bagged a baddie

he'd lick my boots 😜

idk i just picked the person i knew it's been a hot minute since i watched the ol saik

The sniper Saiki summoned (6)

he does a good job :)

snipers are hot

gun

Ike-san the Magician's Assistant (4)

He just chillin ya know

Arguably the most fuckable on this list

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ seems nice

Iguchi Takumi (the new teacher from Reawakened) (4)

my standards for men are: is not a pathetic creature or a creep

He seems nice ig, even if he looks a lil creepy he's got his heart in the right place.

Because Kuniharu is a taken man, and, though sweet, a tad pathetic. Iguchi Takumi is prejudged as a pervert every day by society and still he doesn't let it get in the way of providing the best guidance he can to his students. He is fair, not a pushover, not over strict, gives second chances and forgives children easily for the mistakes children usually make. He's patient, respectful, has never been condescending to the students, goes up and above in his dedication to his work. These are all qualities of a high quality man. He works in his true passion, and I bet he'd do his very best to maintain a healthy work/life balance if he finds someone to share his life with. His students would probably go first, but a man with such ironclad priorities is also respectable and admirable.

Rean Kuboyasu (3)

Dilf.

I like Matsuzaki and mr. Ike but rean seems to be in the healthiest marriage of the show. Him and his wife kicked ass together, taught their kid what they know, then all turned to the straight and narrow path as a family. A tattooed family man who can ride a motorcycle and saves kittens on the side of the road.

 Aren gotta get it from somewhere

The Café Mami Manager (2)

He seems like a nice guy. The others are all a bit quirky for some people, especially Kuusuke, Makoto and Aren's dad

Can deal with cockroaches. A little emotionally unstable but who isn't. Plus perpetual sweets and coffee shop dates. I wouldn't mind working with him in his business or being a girlboss taking care of the bills so he can maintain his business.

Kuniharu Mannequins (2 for the price of 1) (2)

They can't backtalk

Other (2)

Kokomi Teruhashi – she’s pretty

Mr. Kaidou – Wooed Mrs Kaidou and also works a high end job.

The sumo wrestler Saiki summoned (1)

WRESTLE MEEEEE!!!

Peanuts Ueda (1)

No Votes

Makoto Teruhashi

Takahashi (classmate)

Nendo Sr

The magician Saiki summoned

[moneymasnn]

Flower girl and Her Football boys| A Mason Mount And Ben Chilwell Love Triangle

Chapter 10 The final pov:

Masterlist

Notes: Im actually so sorry for how long it has taken me to write this lol, but I won't lie I kinda lost motivation for It. well this is the ending, dont be mad lol but I think I went with the best option! Im sorry in advance for the broken heart lmao. But I'm sorry if there is any mistakes, I love you all thank you for reading and liking!!!!!!!

Warnings: Contains swearing, SMUT, and a broken heart I'm sorry :((

Your palms were sticky and sweaty, your skin felt almost sticky, your hair looked frizzy and your clothes felt like they were suffocating you.

All simple signs of anxiety you suppose.

But anxiety over what? Just the fact the time is currently 6:49pm, reading you had exactly eleven minutes to get your shit together before at exactly 7pm when your ex "situationship", if you can even call it that, would be at your door collecting you for a meal with his family.

You had spend the last hour perched upon the soft carpet on your bedroom floor, your legs crossed as you delicately brush some rose to your cheeks in your mirror. No music blasting in the background like usual, no distant hum of the tv echoing though your home, just silence. Silence so you could think about how you had managed to get yourself in this mess today, but was it really a mess?

If you were to ask Mason, he his brain simply wouldn't correlate it to be a mess, just a mere problem that he was willing to solve.

So when he knocked on your front door at exactly 6:59pm, smartly dressed and stood up straight with a bunch of red roses his mother had forced him to pick up from the shop on his way to get you. His hair blew in the wind as he let out a long deep breath, hoping you wouldn't notice his nerves.

He felt wrong doing this, you both hadn't spoke in three months, and the first time you did would be in his favourite Turkish restaurant with the rest of his family.

He knew you needed to speak first, but mason was silently hoping you would pretend with him for a night, pretend that life was perfect and you didn't fuck his best friend.

Mason tenses as the thought flashed though his mind, the whole reason he wasn't speaking to you in the first place. If he was to sit down and write a list of the things that went wrong in your "situationship" you would have appeared as a walking red flag. But mason was willing to ignore every sign that told him he should walk away, instead he followed his heart, because as much as he hated to admit it, his heart wouldn't allow him to ever forget you.

When you pulled on your shoes and opened the door the first thing you saw was Masons wide girin, as his eyes sparked as his gaze lingered over your figure for a moment. His hands were cliched around the bouquet, the top button of his shirt was undone and his trainers were pristine, he hadn't changed at all.

"Hi." Was all he managed to say as he extended an arm to wrap around you in a quick hug. But he couldn't help bur feel every fear melt away as his arm brushed your shoulder, even if it was for a second.

"These are for you." He had that's stupid school boy grin on his face that always managed to erupt butterfly's in you.

"Thank you mase."

After a moment of silence when you ran to place the flowers in your kitchen Mason leaned on your door frame, trying to steady his breath and compose himself. But he couldn't wipe his smile as he watched you approach him at the door again.

"Ready?"

In the car was just you and Mason, his mum opting to take two cars since you wouldn't all fit into one. Nevertheless, it gave a huge window of opportunity for the both of you to talk about literally anything, but instead the only voice to fill the car was the faint muffle of roman kemp on radio one.

The car ride was short but as you parked up and Mason turned off the ignition he sighed and turned to you as a sigh he had something to say, causing your eyes to be glued to him.

"Y/n, I havent- i havent said anything to my family, so I think my mum has this idea that we've been dating for like the last six months. I know that might make you feel awkward or uncomfortable but I didn't really have the heart to explain to my mum why we stoped, you know, talking but if you-"

"Mase, its okay. Let's not overthink this." You cut off his nervous rambling, trying to calm him down.

"Yeah." He awkwardly laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Im not really sure what this is, but if it is a a second chance, I really appreciate it, mase."

Mason just flashed you a warm smile before he had dashed out the drivers seat, slightly sliding across the bonnet of his car so he could open your door for you.

"Such a gentleman." you smiled.

"Always."

The dinner was far from awkward, you spent most of your time tuning in and out of conversation with Masons family. Paying most of your attention to his niece, who was handing you crayons to help her draw.

You couldn't help but fawn over they way his gorgeous chocolate eyes glisten whenever he made summer giggle, pointing out how adorable her two little front teeth were.

The conversation about yours and masons current relationship status hadn't happened yet, which had eased a lot of tension between the two of you, taking a weight off your sholders.

You didn't think your staring was that obvious, but clearly it was when behind you Masons mum was fawning over the way you looked at her son.

"So y/n, I take it we'll be seeing you on Friday?" Masons mum had asked you.

The final. The game, for some odd reason, Ben had tried so hard to desperately to drag you too.

Masons head popped up at the question, he was about to technically invite you there and then, but your words had stoped him.

"I think so. Ben got my brother some tickets for his birthday, but I'm still not sure if I'm going yet." You thought it was better to have just pulled the plaster off, not wanting mason to find out sooner or later who had already invited you to the match.

Masons jaw clench look hadn't gone unnoticed by you, or his mother.

"Ben? As in our chilly?" Masons mum smiled at you as you nodded in a reply.

"That was lovely of him." She smiled turning back to masons dad.

Mason was undoubtedly staring into your side profile, but you refused to be the first to turn to him.

"Ben, huh?" Mason said with raised eyebrows.

"Mhm."

"Do you guys, you know, still talk?" He didn't want to have this conversation at at dinner table with his family, but he had to know what he was getting himself into.

"Occasionally." You shrug it off as a sign he had nothing to worry about. You lent over Mason, picking up the red crayon to carry on drawing on summers colour book.

The dinner flew by, you saw goodbye to moans family as they made their way back now to Portsmouth. Noticing the sly winks of approve his family had given him behind your back, as you noticed the small blush cheer on his cheeks. You're pretty sure you heard his dad say "She's a keeper." And that no doubt made you grow the same colour as a tomato.

When masons had pulled up to your house he had brown to walk you up to the door, ignoring you protests.

"So... will I see you at the bridge on Friday?" Mason smirked, fiddling with his fingers behind his back like a child as he stood on your door step.

"I dont know yet." You giggle.

"I'd love it if you could?" Mason pouted at you, blinking a few times to add to the puppy dog effect he was trying to pull off.

"I think about it." You smirked.

"Night mase." You lent up and kissed his cheek, noticing the pink blush on his cheeks before starting to disappear behind your front door.

He doesn't know what it was that made him do it, the way your hair lingered along the corner of your mouth was enough for him to imagine lifting his thumb to place it on your soft lips, and kiss you the way he had done in the past.

But as you did Masons foot had budged in-between, stopping the door.

"Mason? Your left pinky toe alone is literally worth more than my house and car combined, please don't break it in my door-"

But your sarcastic little comment was interrupted as Mason brought his hands up to your cheeks, cupping both of them as he pulled you in for a harsh passionate kiss.

Mason had stepped award, causing you to step back as he pushed you onto your apartment, slamming the door shut with his foot.

As his impulses took over as he found his hands gripped down on your waist, swiftly moving them down to grab a handful of your arse, causing you to moan in his mouth. Then moving them down again to your thighs and swiftly lifting you up and pushing you against his wall.

His hands moved back up as he squeezed your bum again. He loves the way you moaned into his mouth, as he pulled away for air, but he pulled back on your bottom lips with his teeth.

"I've wanted to do that for so long." He said. you just smirked as you peppered kisses all over his nose.

"You know what you've got to do now?" You smiled at him.

"Whats that?" He asked breathlessly, a smile toying on his lips.

"We need to make up for lost time."

Mason smirked as he just pushes his lips back onto yours in a teeth clashing kiss, letting his young rub over yours as he savoured the taste on your lips. And the heated kiss was still never separated, him wanting to hold you as close as possible.

The kiss was full of passion and unspoken words.

But as he was making his way to your stairs, both hands still on your arse he couldn’t wipe the Cheshire Cat smile off his face, as he was finally about to do what he's being dreaming about since the day he walked out your door.

As he got up the first step he heard your breathless moans as he stopped on the first step, placing you down.

Mason got on his knees a few steps blow you, as you figured out what was about to happen. Mason kissed along your thigh, relishing in the way you threw your head back.

"Have you ever been eaten out on your stairs before, y/n?"

You shaved your head in a 'no' suddenly nerve taking over you.

"Use your words baby. Do you want me to make you cum on the stairs?"

"Please, please, mase." You begged him, felling the wetness drip into your panties.

"You wish is my command." He smirks up at you.

He pushed your dress up to your waist, pulling down your lacey thong to your ankles, pulling them off before rolling the up and placing them I his back pocket.

He then pulls his phone put his pocket too look at the time, you frown when you see the look on his face.

"Mase?" You asked, but he interrupted you.

"I promised Nathan I'd pick him up at nine."

"What time is it now?" You frowned, sitting forward to protect your exposed self.

"8:51"

There was a silence as mason pushed his phone back into his pocket, then using his hands to spread your thighs back open.

"Should we see how quick I can make you cum for me?"

He then moved back down as his hand hooked under you thighs, as he threw both your legs over his head, balancing your thighs on his shoulders. As he squeezed your left thing with his hand while peppering hickeys down your right thigh.

"Your on the clock, mount." Referencing to the fact he hasn't touched your core yet.

"Don't worry darling, I'll be quick." You liked this cockiness that was coming out of him, it turned you on like crazy.

He then wasted no time in moving his face down to your core, you moaned out as you could feel his hot breath on your core. Mason could see your wet glistening pussy, and he couldn’t wait to taste you. 

Mason hummed as he fattened his tongue over your pussy, before circling around your entrance, saving the taste of you. Before he licks up your slits and lightly flicks his tongue over your clit.

He swirled his tongue around you a few times, before using his fingers to open your slips, spreading your wetness all around. He was slow with his tongue, but he made sure with every swipe he made he was hitting your clit.

You felt almost embarrassed by the state he had you in so quick, your body was sprawled out on the steps as you grabbed onto the handrail due to immense pleasure, you was shocked in how quick he had you feeling you orgasm.

He was right, he is good with his feet, and tongue.

"Mase, I'm gonna cum." You breathless words sent mason in to overdrive, not to mansion adding to the dent in his boxers.

He started to hum into you, flicking his tongue over you clit as he watched you moan out in pleasure.

"Cum for me princess."

He use of the pet name was enough for you fingers to pull on his hair, pushing his face into you as you moaned out in pleasure.

Mason sucked your clit for a while before pulling off with a pop. He knew you would be sensitive, so he blew some air on the nub looking up at your flushed cheeks with a smirk.

He bumped your clit with his nose before speaking up, his warm breath teasing you as he moved up to kiss your lips.

"Who did it better?" He breathed onto your open mouth.

"Mase-"

"Answer the question y/n." He said in a stern voice, kissing your jaw.

"Did he make your thighs shake like this?" Mason says as he wraps his fingers around your shaking thigh.

"No."

Mason leaned back, he looked you up and down like he was staring at art, his art.

Your not really sure what happened next, his phone started to ring, it was Nathan and mason had to leave. Leaving you bunched up on your stairs, you cheeks red as you wondered, what the fuck just happened.

You tried to think about that had happened after the meal, you and mason hands texted since, but eventually, with a lot of convincing from your younger brother, you decide to go.

So there you was, on a gloomy Friday night, sitting in the stands of Stamford Bridge watching as the lights illuminated the pitch.

Your little brother and your sister by your side, as you watched the match play out. The current score being 0-0 at half time, the payers were clearly getting flustered and impatient. You could see a face full of frustration as Masons stomped down the tunnel, so you decided pulled your phone out.

Flower Girl:

I know it probably doesn't mean that much, but i'm watching from the stands and I'm so proud of you no mater the outcome mase.

Its not liked you expected a reply, you most likely would have deleted the message just before the match ended anyway. So when your phone buzzed in your pocket you were shocked at the message that popped up.

It means more than you know x

Was all he had replied, you stared at your phone screen for a while. A slight blush reaching your cheeks as you tried to contain your smile.

The match had resumed and the boys started to walk out the tunnel, you tired to ignore masons occasional glances in the stands, worried he might have been looking for you, and scared that he actually might find you. You didn't really want to hang around after, you want really sure what was going on with the both of you, and it was the fact that Ben was obviously also here.

The match was at the 81st minute, the boys had been awarded 3 minuets extra time. You watches as Mason had provided kai with the perfect link up, giving Kai a perfect opportunity to score.

You stood up in your seat, screaming when the ball hit the back of the net.

They had won.

The whistle was blown and the blues had won the champions league, your heart burst of joy for mason. Making your way down the stands to leave you heard your name being yelled, you tired your hardest to ignore it and carry on walking liked you couldn't hear your name being belted out. But your little brother had beat you to it.

"Y/n, Mason Mounts literally yelling at you!" he smiled as he pointed to mason, who was hanging over the barrier, being pushed back by security a while he tired to climb over the railing.

You giggled at the fact he was being pushed back and shouted at by security. But before you knew it, you was running down the steps to him.

You stood in front of him, the small barrier blocking you from him as his smile gave you butterflies.

"Hey." he breathlessly says, rolling his eyes at the ranting security man.

"Hey, champions league winner!" you smile, it was an immediate reaction for you to fling your arms over Masons shoulders.

But it shocked you when he mumbled a quick "jump" as he quickly lifted you over the barrier onto the pitch. Ignoring all the yells from security as he grabbed your had, pulling you further out to the pitch.

You both stood laughing for a while before you realised how much you had missed his smile, his laugh, his little freckles on his nose. And it hit you right then who you wanted. Who you had wanted this whole time. And why it scared you so much to be with him.

You had fallen for him.

"What? Have I got mud on my face ?" Mason questioned at your staring.

"Im really proud mase, you really deserved this." You smiled up at him.

You could see the tears priming in Masons eyes as he hugged you again, properly this time. Your hands wrapped around his neck as his hands want to your waist and back. Pulling you as close as possible.

You melted into the hug the physical contact you craved from him. You heart a few sniffles on your shoulder as you pulled back your head to see his face. His eyes were slightly puffy, and you knew he was holding back tears.

"Hayfever, am I right?" You giggled at the tears priming in his eyes, you knew how much this meant to him, and to be able to share this experience with him felt like an honour.

Mason giggled before placing his head on your shoulder, "Thank you. Thank you for coming." He mumbled into you.

You brushed your hand through his head before pulling away to look into his eyes, you really wanted to kiss him, even if you was standing in the middle of a pitch with prying eyes. You thought about to for a moment, but he had already beat you to it, before he smashed his lips onto yours in a teeth clashing kiss. You tensed at first, but that all to familiar feeling of Masons lips on your was enough to have you melting into the ground.

You hands tightened around his neck as mason leaned into you, his arms wrapped around your back so he could lean your back as far as possible.

When he pulled away he just looked into your eyes, smiling for a second before you both stand up straight, trying to ignore the few whistles coming from fans that were still lingering in the stands. And you brother who had has shouted "My sister just kissed Mason Mount." Loud enough for the whole stadium to hear.

"Y/n?"

"Mase." You smiled up at him.

"Do you think by any chance I can take you on a second first date?"

You giggled up at him before standing on your tiptoes to place a gentle peck to his lips, "Does that answer your question?"

"Mhm... Not really I think I need another one?" Mason smirked as you stared to peppered kissed all over his face.

"Your coming back to mine after this." He told you.

"Is that so?' You smirked at him.

"Mhm, I need to finish what I started the other night." He smirked, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead as your arms wrapped around his torso.

What you didn't know was Ben had watched the whole interaction from the sidelines, although there was this slight pit in the bottom of his stomach. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of both of you happy together.

Mason had noticed you look over to Ben, sympathy in your eyes as Mason nudged your shoulder, signalling to you to go over to him.

"Go to him." Mason shrugged with a smile.

"Are you sure-"

"Y/n, it's okay."

You smiled up at mase, placing a small kiss on the top of his cheek bone before walking over to the side of the pitch to where Ben was standing.

"Hey you." Ben smiled as he wrapped you on a quick hug. You mumbled a hi before pulling out of the hug.

"Ben, listen I-"

“Y/n. Its okay. Honestly, I’m okay, we’re okay.” He said, his voice cracking slightly, as he watched the tears brimming in your eyes. 

You knew you was going to have to break a heart, or two, but you had never imagined it to hurt you this much.

"Im still sorry, for what i've put you through. You didn't deserve that, Ben." You try push your tears back and force a smile.

“I just think,” He sighed, taking in a deep breath.

"I just think, I think that there was this part of me that wanted to love you, but I guess I just didn't know how. And probably the fact I was too late.” Ben admitted.

You felt your heart drop at his words.

"Ben, I really am so-" but he interrupted you, not wanting any pity.

"Dont apologise for how you feel, y/n. You're a wonderful girl, and you make him happy, he deserves to be happy, and so do you. Plus, who am I to stand in the way of love." Ben bumps your shoulder with a smile.

"Thank you, Benjamin."

"I really hope you find someone who will give to you what I couldn't." you told him

"Me too."

"Were still best friends, right?" he asks you, genuinely concerned that he docent want to lose your friendship over this, and deep down you knew he was secretly meaning mason too.

"Of corse, silly." you smiled up at him.

Ben just flashes you the warmest smile before wrapping his arm over you shoulder and kissing the top of your head.

"Just make sure your first born is called Ben, then I guess we're even." Ben giggles.

"Theres no way in hell I'm naming my child Ben."

"Oi!" he smiled, nudging your arm.

You didn't know it at the time, because all you could feel was guilt. But you chat with Ben meant more than you knew. Because deep down, he was happy to just have his friends back.

They celebrations had finished and you had made you way to the hotel Chelsea were partying in with Mason. You had a few drinks, danced with mason. And you heart even swelled as you watched Ben approach mason at the bar, ending in them hugging each other tightly.

But after the night was worn out, Mason had chased you along dimly lit hallways, your shoes in his hands since your feet were sore, as you both raced to the door.

He kissed your lips as he slid in his key card.

"You really are beautfull, you know that? Prettiest girl in the world!!" He screamed, causing you to giggle, he was slightly drunk. Well actually the both of you were battered.

"Mason! Shhh" You giggled. "Were in a hotel, idiot!" You whisper shouted at him.

"I don't care, I want everyone to know that I have the prettiest girlfriend ever." He said as he listed a finger to tap you nose, a small little 'boop' leaving his lips.

"Shame, because I'm not your girlfriend." You smirk at him.

"You will be." He laughs, he found his hands gripped down on your waist, then moving them down to your thighs and swiftly lifting you up, attaching his lips to yours.

His hands moved up as he squeezed your bum. Causing you to moan into his mouth, but the heated kiss was still never separated, him wanting to hold you as close as possible.

He pulled away as he got to the edge of the bed, throwing you down and climbing over you. You fawned over the rise and fall of his toned chest as you scrambled to rip his top off. Tracing your hands up his toned torso and the medal that was still hanging around his neck. When mason noticed this he pulled the medal off, placing it over you head and letting It drop to your chest. You smiled at his smiled at his small action, feeling the butterflies in your stomach.

He places his forehead on yours, smiling as he could feel your warm breath on his nose. 

“Have i ever told you how beautiful you are when you moan for me?”

You run your fingers along his naked biceps, before looking into his eyes with a smirk.

“I don’t think so?” You tried so hard to wipe the smile off your face as you watched him dip his fingers under the hem of your jeans.

“I guess I’ll have to show you what I mean then.” 

[hugozboom]

Enabler

FEZCO X READER

TW: Language. Drugs.

plot: after you have a panic attack over lost drugs fez just wants you to quit.

lowercase intended

enjoy!

you lye in your bed feeling as if you are spinning. the adrenaline rush felt so good. you thought back to the fight you had with your boyfriend, now ex boyfriend, earlier about your addiction. your parents were loaded but never around making your house the perfect place for a huge party.

you stumbled down the stairs onto the couch in the first living room and called everyone you knew...and they called everyone they knew and so on.

soon and fast your house filled with everyone in town, including fezco, your now current ex.

you found yourself losing your high, putting you in a bad and spiteful mood. you found yourself dancing on everyone at the party trying to keep a good spirit but you felt the eyes.

while grabbing a drink you bumped into ashtray. he shook his head, "you're playing a really dangerous game y/n."

"we both know im great at pissing people off," you poured pink whitney into your red cup, "that's what im doing."

"come on you know that's such a bad idea. why don't you just get clean," you rolled your eyes and walked away. you snuck into your bedroom pulling out your secret stash of oxy, the stash you hid in your closet since fez tended to sleep over often. as you placed the pills on your tongue you heard a few knocks.

"y/n. hey we need to talk," fez stated on the other side. you swallowed hard and scrambled to hide the drugs, "hang on," you say in a flustered manner. once you swung open the door, your heart ached.

he looked at you with those eyes, the ones you fell in love with...but you started to feel the pills. you started to fidget with your hands as the two of you sat on your bed. completely out of it, you attempted to communicate.

"ion know, i think we should like try again," he was nervous. you were happy to hear him say that but here you were doing the exact thing that led to your break up in the first place.

"i don't know. i'm an addict," you sighed as the giggles rumbled in your stomach, "i need help."

fez nodded, "i know and i wanna help you. i dunno if i can watch you shake ass on anyone else anymore. i need my girl and...i know you can do it for real. it just scared me.  ion wanna lose you y/n," he took a sip of whatever was in his cup.

"that panic attack that you had over the fact that you didn't have drugs, it was scary you know. you shouldn't get like that over some drugs," he eyed you oddly as you zoned out just listening to what he was saying. you were so out of it.

"y/n...?" he called. it sounded like an echo at that point. He shook his head, "you high again...y/n...y/n come on man," he started to get up and leave. you knew if he left it was over, he was so disappointed.

"fez  wait please," you sniffed feeling tears coming as you grabbed his arm, "this was the last time. i was just upset you were mad at me. PLEASE. fez please."

"nah man i don't feel like losing more people. i told you. i'm done."

"fez..."

"it sucks cause i really give a fuck about you,"  he sighed and took your hand off his arm. just like that he left...left you crying and high.

the next day was foggy, school moved slow and soon you were back in your room laying with rue...high again.

"have you ever just thought." you say slowly forgetting what you were going to say. rue smiled, "thought what?"

"fuck em," for you, you meant everyone, for rue she probably meant jules. you both had your fair share with relationships recently. rue and jules just recently broke up. jules took off somewhere and rue stumbled upon you at fez's house. what made you more upset was that fezco gave you drugs first. you had really bad anxiety ever since you left your hometown. the new neighborhood was a big adjustment. so he gave you oxy's first. it just went from there.

"shit i have that meeting thing," rue rolled her self up to her feet, "you goin anywhere...i don't really wanna go back home."

"i'll be here," you say closing your eyes. rue left but the aching in your heart remained. you missed fez. you needed him. he was kind of the only thing keeping you here on earth.

you stuffed yourself into a hoodie and shorts and waddled over to fez's. thankfully he opened the door but he kept the screen door closed.

"what do you want y/n. we all out and i ain't sellin to you no more."

you shook your head, tears streaming down your face, "no no i don't want drugs i came to...i came to uhm talk." you couldn't even look at him.

for once you weren't high. not yet anyways.

"go ahead."

"you not gonna open the door?"

"it depends on what you say."

you sighed and explained to him how much you cared. you did want help but you couldn't do it without him. you WOULDN'T do it without him. ever.

"fez please just help me..please i-i need you and i miss you so fucking much," you slammed your fists into your thighs in frustration.

"you did this to me fez. to hell with all that leaving shit you did this to me and now you gotta make it better. you gotta- you gotta help..." your voice trailed off.

as you looked down you heard the screen door open then you felt a pair of arms wrap around you. just like that you were home and you were ready to become you again.

[multiplefandomsblog]

request(s); IZURU SMUT WITH AFAB READER - IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT THE CONTENT INCLUDED IN IT IS,I JUST, NO ONE REALLY WRITES FOR THE SCARY M A N 😢😢😢

paring(s); Izuru x AFAB!reader

warning(s); cussing, woAHH reader is a prostitute hired by enoshima, reader is AFAB, oral sex (m receiving), humiliation kink whoop, degradation kink double whoop, ah yes dirty talk, degrading names, spit-play,  prositution, multiple orgasms, wall sex, slow and steady wins the race, dumbification, begging, dacryphillia, sadism, kind of like fuck or die???? but not really??????? AND DEAR LORD I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING WITH THIS GOD oii

note; i actually had a dream similar to this— also i lowkey got attached to these characters and now im seriously considering making a series of this???? DHSBJDDBF IDK IT REMINDS ME OF, LIKE AAAA IDK

wc; 4.1k+

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Everything was terribly boring. 

It was funny; that had been the only thought Izuru seemed to have in his brain, even as you were on your knees sucking him off like he was your last meal. Glaring down at you, he stifled a disappointed sigh. In all honesty, you weren’t bad; but he knows he could do much better, perhaps even find much better. It was almost a guarantee that he’d get someone else to do the job for him much better. 

Sitting on the throne of a comfortable chair, he had barely broken a sweat, nor had he even moaned a single time. Of course, that would frustrate you; you were squeezing whatever couldn’t fit in your mouth, ‘faking’ moans—or at least that’s what you told yourself you were doing—to send vibrations down his spine, and swallowing all the filthy pre-cum of his cock had released. And the man didn’t even have the gall to at least pretend to like it. 

It irritated you.

Why had he even accepted Enoshima’s offer for you if he hadn’t even been enjoying it? You hadn’t even touched yourself yet, and you were the one completely soaking in your panties—whilst you swore you heard him sigh, and not one of pleasure. Every part of it was humiliating for you.

“This is boring, get off.” You perked your head up, popping your lips off the unsatisfied pink tip, and to your humiliation, you looked up at him with sad, puppy dog eyes; ones that you hadn’t even purposely put on. You felt your heart drop all the way down to your stomach, “Boring…?” Well, that did it. 

Desperation turned into anger, and before you knew it, you had been crawling on this man’s lap, thighs straddling him, and hands digging into his shoulder as you looked down at him with feigned dominance. You gritted your teeth, he hadn’t a single reaction, just a look of genuine curiosity, and the same look of bored annoyance. He didn’t seem to like being suddenly touched, not like you even cared. Boring, huh? You’d prove to this self-entitled fuck, you weren’t as boring as he thought you to be. 

“... What do you think you’re doing?” With his question of genuine intent to know, his dull tone of voice seemed to have affected your interpretation of what he truly meant to say. Despite the condescending and almost offended tone, he truly wanted to know. Someone like you, crawling into his lap as if you hadn’t been face-to-face with possibly the world’s most dangerous human being; brought a small spark of interest in his chest.

Maybe you had some potential, he would think. “Are you trying to prove yourself to me?” With his eyes gleaming with curiosity and anticipation, you leaned back as you felt him lean in. With his nose inches away from yours, you shrunk just a slight but kept your act as strong as you could hold it for.

You gulped, gaze and grip faltering underneath his piercing gaze. Suddenly you felt small again. Your previous surge of dominance seemed to crumble and collapse as he brought his hands up to grope at your hips, reminding you who was really in charge here. He narrowed his eyes as he felt your hesitance and yielding, his large hands that had cupped your ass had practically been supporting all your weight as you backed down in the body and in mind. Damn it. He wondered where your confidence went, it was only just getting fun— but perhaps, all good things come to an end.

Well. He wasn’t going to let you give up that easily.

Suddenly, he let go, causing your ass that had once been held up by his hands, to fall back and knock onto his knees harshly; and you swore you could see a ghost of an expectant smirk on his face. Surprising you further, Izuru uttered 4 words that only seemed to confuse you, yet excite you all the same.

“Go on then. Try.” Your breath hitched, averted eyes now confused and focused them back onto the long-haired male. “W- what?” Izuru’s eyes narrowed at you, and the impatient look he had sent to you almost felt like a reward as you felt yourself growing more sodden. “Try and prove that you aren’t just another hole. That’s why you’re still here, no?” He spoke, and you swore you could hear his voice lower in tone.

He rested his hands on the armrests of his chair, leaning back ever so slightly as he got comfortable; as if he was about to watch a performance made just for him—which hadn’t been far from the truth.

But to your surprise and not his, you obeyed. 

If this was your chance to prove yourself to him— the ultimate hope that everyone seemed to be intimidated by—you’d take it. Of course, you would. 

Despite the growing anxiety in your heart that you’d mess up, you pushed it down and put one brave façade; he would sense your fear if you displayed it too much. 

Your efforts turned futile anyway; you should’ve known he’d sense your hesitance. 

Acknowledging your hesitance you thought hadn’t been too obvious about, Izuru brought it up. “What’s stopping you? Your fear?” Izuru hummed, leaning down to peck at your chest, “Well, that’s understandable; you should be scared.” Followed by the light sound of his lips against your heated shoulder. 

“... Though I assume that’s not what you’re afraid of at this moment.” Assume? More like knew. You were so predictable to him, a flick of your finger could tell him exactly what you’re thinking. With a tender gaze you were surely seeing wrong, he stared up at you expectantly as he waited for your answer. 

“Well?” You gritted your teeth at his sudden gentleness, taking more offence to it than you should have. You didn’t like being treated with kid gloves, not by him at least; for all you know, he kills children. “I’m not scared of anything—” He was huge, of course, you were terrified. ”How do you know I’m not just trying to slow it down, so you’re ready for it?” You challenged, shifting yourself above his tip that still glistened with your saliva from the earlier blow. Izuru looked at you, nearly taken aback. 

It made you feel incompetent. As if he thought you couldn’t do it, as if he thought you couldn’t give him the best night of your life. Of course, you’d be offended. No one likes being underestimated, especially not by him. It just brings you a whole new different feeling of humiliation. 

And he knew that. He just wanted you to hurry up, you know, provoke you a little. Foreplay was… Boring; he’d think with a small smile.

“Surely, you’re not that idio—” He cut himself off with a sharp inhale, lips parting and eyebrow twitching from the way your slick cunt slid over the tip of his dick, sinking in with ease. “I- I’m not what?” You breathed out, a shaky, smug grin contorting on your face as you tried your best to conceal the fact his dick had felt like it had literally been splitting you in two. “Hnnahh— Jesus-” You dropped your head for a second, nails digging deeper into the material of his suit; surprisingly, he didn’t care all that much about the material damage—at the moment, he cared more about the fact you hadn’t even sunk half his dick in yet, and you already looked like you were near-tears.

Maybe care would be an overstatement. 

You bit down on your once-smug smile, jaw going slack as you felt the pleasant curve of his dick, rub against your vaginal walls ever so slightly—following the movements of your own heavy panting. “You shouldn’t be so cocky, S/o.” He didn’t seem to hear the irony hiding in between his almost-mocking words.

You scoffed at his taunting statement, staring him straight in the eye as you walked further into his trap, and sunk down lower—stifling a wince as you felt him sink in you alarmingly deep. How big was he!? Well, you already knew the answer to that question. Your jaw still hurt from earlier. But that stretch had been positively incomparable to the stretch your pussy had currently been experiencing. 

Izuru pursed his lips, silently groaning at the way your walls clamped onto him as if you were already trying to milk him of his cum. You were so tight, he noted in his mind; well he wasn’t going to complain. As a sex worker, he would’ve expected you to be looser, easier to slip in; it seemed one of his predictions had been incorrect. 

In a dry, uncaring tone, he addressed the bead of sweat forming on your forehead from the stretch. “Can you really take it? You look like you’re in pain.” the part that irked you the most had been the small undertone of genuine concern for your being. Yeah, Izuru; the ultimate I-don’t-care-if-you’re-dead, cared if you could take his dick. 

Maybe your heart would’ve been swelling with joy, had it not taken a large hit on your pride. You were a sex worker, not the protagonist of a fucking romance comedy. 

You could feel yourself growing angrier and angrier by the second; a large part of you just wanted to get him off and leave—but there was a larger part of you that… strangely wanted to please this man, prove him wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, the urge was purely sexual. 

Rolling your eyes at his ‘concern’, “Can you just- Nh!” you held your breath before clutching onto his suit a little more desperately than you wanted to as you sunk the rest of him inside you. Embarrassment made its debut in your reddening cheeks as you unwillingly let a few whimpers slip out. “—B- be fucking quiet? For on- Mn! O- once?” He paused before retorting back in that same blunt tone, seemingly unamused by your curses as he had been busy watching your bodily reactions closely, as well as feeling them first hand. “... You’re shivering.” He addressed the tremor of your shoulders, as well as the contractions of your walls against his cock. 

“It- It’s cold.” You lied through your teeth, to which he found annoying; surely, you knew that he would read through that lie, so what was the point of even trying? 

Sighing in annoyance, he bucked his hips, exhaling sharply through his nose as you yelped and collapsed onto him, body going limp as you felt him hit your sweet spot. With a slightly panicked moan, you dug your shined face deeper into the crook of his shoulder, causing him to shiver as he felt the breath of your moan hit his neck. “Hnn-! A- a- already?” Izuru scoffed quietly, “I thought you wanted me to be quiet. Which one is it?” Izuru’s condescending voice kissed your ear, and you felt your own shivers being sent down your spine from his voice alone. 

Putting on an annoyed façade that would soon shatter, you rolled your eyes—something you would probably be doing often tonight. “You’re really annoying, you know th-? Oh-! Oh fuck-!” You moaned, eyes shooting open, revealing your dilated pupils to the wall behind him. With your hands fanned out on his suited back, you arched your back against him, grinding slowly as you hugged him off the back of his chair. 

Mewling quietly, you found yourself trying to stifle your own moans, so you could hear better his own; only to pout as you heard nothing. Your sole purpose and presence with him at this moment had been to please him. You… needed to please him.

And only Atua knows what Junko’ll do to you if she finds out you didn’t satisfy him. 

Sighing in slight frustration, you felt him tense underneath your touch as you locked your lips onto his neck, lips searching and exploring every inch of the sensitive skin of his neck. Izuru’s eyes widened a fraction, only to lid as he felt himself growing bored again. “What are you doing?” You muffled against his neck, “I’m trying to find your erogenous zone—“ a large grin grew on your face as you felt him go rigid and stiff against you—as if he wasn’t already rigid and stiff—as you grazed your teeth on a certain spot on his Adams’s apple, a sign that you hit the jackpot.

“There, huh? I never would’ve guessed…” You spoke through gentle moans caused by Izuru’s natural reaction to fuck up into you harder. He shivered, sure, he was good at everything; but even he didn’t know he had an erogenous zone—or rather, where it was.

And now you had this information. 

You felt your confidence sprout back up again as you felt him melt, slowly but surely into your embrace, and slowly but surely, you tried gaining back control of what had been happening. 

That had been your plan; but as soon as your hands reached up to tangle your fingers in his hair, he flinched, nails digging into your hips harshly. “Hands off.” He growled, crimson gaze darkening in irritation from your feather-like tugs. 

Yeah, your plan. 

His scalp was sensitive, and he had made the mistake of reacting so strongly to your touch to it, right in front of you no less. It was a weakness; one you’d surely take advantage of as you fucked this man. Or rather, as he fucked you. Izuru grimaced as he could practically hear the mischievous grin in your voice, “Yeah?” with a warning tone, Izuru tried stopping you, “S/o.” you probably shouldn’t have felt as excited as you did from his warning voice; especially from a guy like him, but there was a part of you that really wanted to know what would happen—what he was warning you about. 

So you made the best mistake of your life; and tugged the already impatient man’s hair. 

Izuru hadn’t given you the time to even inhale a single breath, as he had you pinned to the wall in half a second. Shit, he’s fast. Well, what did you expect? Izuru was definitely more than ordinary—and as you still felt the stretch burning between your legs, you knew that more than anyone. “I- Izuru?” Izuru sighed as you shrunk underneath his hold, forcing him to hold you up by his hips that had been pressed up against you. Your cattiness seemed to disappear the moment he manhandled you to the wall; it was predictable. All bark, no bite. He wondered why he wasted his time with you. 

With your eyes wide and helpless, Izuru remained unamused. “Let’s get this over with.”

Underneath the shell of your body, you could feel your blood boil as the man thrusting into you, had given you that familiar condescending stare of pity. He didn’t seem very pitiful as he watched you writhe and squirm underneath him from his unrelenting pace, though you could still read the emotion clear as day; your eyes glared right back at him—though you could barely see where you had been glaring, as your vision had been blurred from your own tears.

He was planning to push you to your limits, because, maybe when you’re sobbing and begging for him to stop; maybe then, you’d be less boring. 

‘He was the ultimate at everything; of course, he would be good at this too-’ “Fuhh...- fuck!” Your first orgasm of the night washed over your body, shaking uncontrollably as you had been less than prepared for it. You’d often have to fake your orgasms or get yourself off once the person using you was done. So you, whether it was fortunately or unfortunately, weren’t used to cumming so quickly. Previous thoughts of distaste had been long forgotten, as you had now been completely weak; moments away from breaking down and throwing away your dignity to prolong sex with Izuru. 

Sobs spilled out of your mouth as Izuru helped you ride out your high. The man watched you from above, hands hooking underneath your thighs and slamming you against the wall harder than your body had gone slack in your arms. For him, it felt more like he was pleasuring you—but for some reason, he didn’t mind all too much. 

Through tear-stained eyelids, you glared at him, your warm body still trembling from the near-mind-blowing orgasm he granted you. “I- I can take it.” At least, you thought you could. In all honesty, you didn’t care. You wanted it, and furthermore, he hasn’t even cum yet. Your job wasn’t finished. If you had to be fucked until your mind broke for him to cum, you’d do it. You didn’t have a choice—but even if you did, you wouldn’t deny him; you’d have to be insane to. 

“How... persistent…” Izuru murmured quietly to himself, bringing a hand up to tap your chin, causing you to perk your head up and flush at the gentle touch; the way he looked at you made you feel as if you were a mere science project being examined. It may have not been ideal, but being gazed at like nothing but a lowly bug is better than being ignored.  

It was so easy to fuck you into submission, he thought. Grunting, he pulled all the way out, lip twitching at the lewd squelch of your pussy. He almost lost himself in the way your walls fluttered around the tip of his cock once again, before tightening as if you were trying to welcome him back in.

Izuru, with a sharp inhale, roughly slammed back in, hitting all the right places despite the thrust being as quick as a flash of a camera. You gasped for air, you felt as if you had just been punched with his hips—and before you could recover from it, you felt him pull out yet again, only to slam back in, a small exhale huffing out the man’s lips as he kept on doing that same repetition. 

“F- faster— Pl- please!” You choked out as tears welled up in your eyes, his thrusts had been so powerful and forceful, yet so calculated; as if he was aiming for your G-spot every time he thrust in—which he was. He growled under his breath, voice still monotone but more strained than before—it was almost impossible for him.  

“You’re too tight to go fast.” He deadpanned, “if I go any faster, I might break you.” He didn’t really care whether he broke you, but who in their right mind would want to be broken? 

It was almost comedic how quickly you perked up at the mention of being broken. “I- I wanna! Really bad, r- real bad! Please!” You blabbered and begged like an idiot, your dignity long gone. He hissed at the way your pussy gushed with your juices and excitement, struggling yet again to piston himself into you. “Do you only think with your cunt?” Izuru narrowed his eyes down at you, disbelief and disgust gleamed in his red eyes; and it only made you squeeze around him unwillingly.

You shrunk, shaking your head as a babyish pout contorted onto your lips. “N- no, I-” The slow slapping noises of his hips on yours grew in volume, and your eyes widened as you could feel and hear him getting more frantic, hitting you deeper—places you were sure weren’t even supposed to be touched were abused by the crown of his growing cock.

Through a tone that tried its best to be calm and composed, Izuru shakily breathed out. “Open your mouth.” 

“W- Huh?” With slurred speech and crossed eyes, you tried your best to find his red eyes through the tears that blurred your vision. You were so fucked out, you weren’t even sure if he had actually said anything or if it had been your imagination.

“You heard me, don’t play dumb.” You hadn’t been playing dumb; you were dumbed. But Izuru held no patience for your games, and you could definitely feel that in his increasingly painful grip on your ass—he was sure to leave a bruise on your skin. With a confused look in your eye, you hesitantly dropped your jaw for him, whimpering and jolting as you felt something wet spew into your mouth. Before you could whine or even get the chance to complain, Izuru had forcefully knocked you against the wall again, lightly hitting your head as he steadied you against the surface with one hand as he used the other to close your jaw.

You hadn’t even registered the fact you had spit into your mouth as your mind had been too foggy from the intense feeling building up in your stomach once again. “Swallow.” Without so much as a questioning noise as a reaction to what he had done, you obeyed. Swallowing thickly with bleary eyes, you tried your best to keep eye contact with the man who seemed way too calm for the aggressive pace he had been maintaining like a pro.

Not thinking much of it, you dropped your jaw and flattened your tongue down against your chin; it was almost instinctual as you obediently showed him you had swallowed all of it. It seemed to please him, as he traced his thumb absentmindedly over your jawline; it almost felt like a reward, to be touched like that. His gentle hands differed greatly from his pace that fastened within each second that passed the both of you by. 

Your moans grew in volume, and you could feel yourself getting overwhelmed by how fucking good it felt to be fucked by him; moans and groans turned into full-blown hysterical sobbing as you felt your second climax approach. He grunted in frustration as he felt your walls clamp around him once again, convulsing as you gasped for air, his breaths huffing out in small intervals as he tried to get himself to his own high. 

Nothing was said as you threw yourself into him, hugging himself close to you as if he was your lifeline despite your twitching body—you weren’t sure how long you could hold on before you passed out, but you tried your best to stay conscious. He hadn’t cum yet.

It may have frustrated him, but it also frustrated you. Running your hands down his neck to his well-defined jaw, you cradled his skull before attaching your lips onto his neck desperately, practically slobbering over him like a dog as you kissed and sucked at his neck—to which he groaned quietly at. It was a terrible job, you were necking him so sloppily, and he hated himself for grading your performance when really, he should’ve been indulging in it.

The sounds of his hips slapping against yours, combined with your small moans that you tried to muffle against his neck, had overwhelmed his senses and he found himself going blank in the mind for less than half a second. 

It was dangerous, to leave yourself vulnerable like that. 

So without another word, sound, or thrust, he hoisted you up and dropped you against the chair; in which you unravelled like a velvet carpet over the soft, plush furniture. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you didn’t want to part from him, you didn’t want it to stop. There, he continued his assault to your already battered cunt, grunts and sharp sighs spilling out his mouth as he concentrated on getting himself to climax. 

“F- fuck, Izuru— Izuru, you’re splitting me- in t- two!” You sobbed out, arms flying up to wipe your tears away that prevented you from seeing the esthetical man above you. With his hair looking like it was flowing behind him, and the thin layer of sweat shining on his skin, you felt your heart beat a little faster— what?

You hadn’t even been able to register the dread of the realization of your feelings, as, without warning, Izuru creamed inside you. His hips stuttered to a stop, and he leaned himself completely over your body that had folded over the back rest of the chair, nose meeting the crook of your mid-chest. “Hhah...” He panted, clammy hands that had been gripping onto your skin tightly, loosened as he took a second before getting up and off you. 

You scrambled up from your position on the chair, legs and pussy numb as you struggled sitting up.“Wait Izuru—!” You called out for him, catching his attention as he cleaned himself up with a convenient towel Junko had left on the table. 

Zipping up the fly of his pants, he stared at you, waiting for you to continue what you had been planning to say as he flattened the creases of his suit. 

“W- were you...” You gulped, flushing as you recalled what you had done earlier. “Were you satisfied?” Your voice had been meek, afraid of his answer for more than one reason. Junko really would show you despair if she found out you didn’t satisfy him. “... I’ll let her know I was.” You sighed in relief, shoulders going slack as you fell back on the chair. You’d live another day.

[andorseries]

i was just thinking. what do you feel when you watch/read the lord of the rings, the hobbit?

I feel hope. not the kind of hope you'd get in a church, or somewhere else like. it's the kind of hope that comes swiftly; something that you realise was always there, but you never notice until you're watching once again lady galadriel say that even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

just think about it for a second. what do you feel when you see those big wargs, scary uruks, ugly orcs? when you hear the screaming of goblins flying from the balrog of moria? the screaming of the nazgul? the darkness of mordor all around? there's so much darkness. so much fear, so much hatred. and then you find yourself asking /the question/, as if you were there: how can the good prevail over such evil?

but you know it can. because you imagine the green forests of the shire, you imagine mirkwood and what's become of it - you know that even in it's darkest times you'd still like to go there and see -, you think of rivendell and lothlorien, of the little shire rivers, of the things that grow. you think of beautiful things and you know that they are real, that they exist in real life, and that they are worth fighting for. that they are worth living for. that all of those monsters we see - orcs, goblins, balrog, uruks, trolls, nazguls, wargs, the dark lord himself, and even a dragon: you know that they represent the dangers of the world, the real world, that we must face even when we feel small. even when we are the smallest of all the small people. even when we are afraid, even when darkness seems to close in. we must fight for the good that are inside of us, for the good that is still out there. for those little rivers and mountains, for those green forests that might not be green for long now.

that's how tolkien's stories give me hope.

sometimes all I wish is to be bilbo baggins stepping out of his comfortable hobbit hole to an unknown adventure; and then I remember im already in one, in more than one, and I'm as brave as a baggins or a took. all of us are. 'cause are there any doctors or pills in middle earth to save frodo from his fears, his anxiety, his burden? is there anything to help sam control his anger? there's only love. love that we also carry. we might have all the science in our pocket, but we also have love. and it's love and friendship that take us back home.

and if frodo and sam can walk from the shire to rivendell and then to mordor, i can walk down the stairs of my building to go to work. if merry and pippin can fight a wizard with water and rocks (and trees), i can fight my own imaginary wizards throwing imaginary rocks at them and screaming fuck you saruman.

aragorn can resist the calling of the ring. I can resist the calling of the window.

legolas can give up his prince life to live on the road with a ranger. I can give up the comforts of home to face the world outside. to discover what's out there and what it has to teach me.

just like gandalf told bilbo, the world isn't in my books or maps. it's out there. and I wanna see it, no matter how dangerous it is. there's still beautiful things amongst all this evil - there are still things worth fighting for. and when you're done with it all, when you're sitting in your rocking chair by the fireplace, you'll remember those dreads you faced as something so small, but that made a huge difference. it wasn't as impossible as i thought, was it? I just had to keep walking.

you'll also remember all the good you have seen, experienced and shared with others. then your chest will be filled with warmth, and you'll know that there's nothing you would've done different. you would step out of that door and do it all again if you had the chance, 'cause now you know:

there is always hope.

[caffeineaddicted-noonie]

Ghost, he/they/xe/its, whoever but stirs towards more masc people, poly. I am a March Aries, born march 31st.

I have two sides to me, overly loud/chaotic, and then the quiet side.... who is normally trying to plan how to fucking kill everyone or wishing i wasn't there. Anger issues to the max. My knuckles are scarred due to black outs because at school i bottle up my anger so i don't lash out and hurt someone, so i end up punching brick walls/trees. Which end up causing wounds on my knuckles/hands.

I hate idiotic people, people who don't know how to stop being immature even when repeatedly being told countless times. I have quite literally stabbed someone in the arm because I asked her about ten times to stop laughing and staring at me.

Very bad anxiety, so I normally bottle everything up until I hit a breaking point. This point could be me either having an anger fit(ex, punching shit, yelling, just in a angry mood), or have a silent breakdown(ex, where i shut everyone out, go nonverbal for a hot minute, and ignore everyone). A lot of the time whenever my anxiety gets overly bad I just end up leaving the place causing it.

I love natures and animals, both literally deserve to be treated better than they are. Half of the animals now days wouldn't act aggressive towards us if we have left them alone. I heavily believe that animals deserve the world.

I listen to music 24 fucking 7. I cannot live without it, I have quite literally had breakdowns because I didn't have something to listen to music with. I listen to a lot of rock/metal genre type music, but my music taste is all over the place. I do NOT like country music minus a few songs, and all of them are the older songs. Famous Last Words, SlipKnot, KoRn, Get Scared, Hollywood Undead, Guns N' Roses, Queen, Falling In Reverse, Black Viel Brides, the list goes on.

Weird facts/facts/extra, basically me just rambling;

I love collecting. Animal bones, tapestry's, blankets, rocks, crystals, sticks, literally anything.

I love dancing in the rain, even if its lighting and thundering. Huge anything horror/weird type of person.

I love weird shit and gore. Like even if I'm cringing at it, I'm like "holy shit this is fun to watch"

I kinda believe in zodiac signs? Like they make who you are but I'm not the type of person where it controls every little thing about you.

Very very awkward in person, and I have anxiety. I love talking though, if I know/trust you please expect your ear to be talked off if you even remotely bring up a topic I love.

Artist!! I have like 8 filled sketchbooks. I love writing as well, although I'm not really good at it. I love walks, especially if its quiet and in nature. I just get irritated if the people im walking with are constantly talking.

I game quite a bit, but it goes on and off. I'm more on the creative side(art, writing) so most of the time I don't even think about gaming. But if im fixated on a certain fandom that has a game I'm like OOU time to play it. In general I'm like very chaotic in loud, but I have moments where I'm silent as fuck. I've had countless people get scared shitless with how silent I am when I move. I also crack my neck weirdly that people are scared of me, I crack my neck as if I'm trying to snap my neck. It gets the job done tho.

LEMME KNOW IF U NEED MOREE CREEPYPASTA ONLY PLEASE!

BRO I KNEW WE WOULD GET ALONG FROM THE START NGL AHAH. ANYWAYS, I HAD SOO MUCH FUN DOING THIS! THANK YOU FOR THE INFO ^^ THEY REALLY HELPED! NOW, HERE IS YOUR MATCH UP MY DUDE

I MATCH YOU UP WITH

BLOODY PAINTER / HELEN OTIS 🎨 AND EYELESS JACK 💙

somethings just happen log 1 - friends 🌹

+ Helen had the interest to be friends with you becuase he’s only been around you when you are quiet. Hense, he hasn’t seen the other part of you. + He’s seen you draw and probs seen you dance in the rain (creep O>O) + Not knowing your quiet side is your so to say ’evil’ side, he just went up to you and was in conversation mood. + But you weren’t! + When he liked, started talking, you glared. + He wasn’t really taken a back, just confused. He thought you were just fine — but you weren’t hah. + He just left you alone after. + But then he came back knowing he did something wrong. Oh boy was he apologizing, ”Look I am sorry that I have disturbed you, which I am fully aware I have and I am. I promise not to do it again in the future. Forgive me, I am an idiot,” + And boy were you confused. + Why was he apologizing like that? Because he knows how it feels to be disturbed in the worst timing. And who does not hate it?? + You two become friends after clearing the misunderstanding up tho. As in good friends. + You two are somehow alike. The things you two hate are the same. You two would curse anyone who had those traits. + I can see you two being art nerds together. Countless of painting competitions. + Meanwhile, with EJ, you met him because you needed to heal something. + So you went to EJ knowing he’s the ’doctor’ of the mansion. + You see him frequently and he will not stop telling you to take care of yourself. + Besides telling you that, you two have fun conversations with each other. + I figured you loove his job because, organs = gore. + And I can see you asking him to bring you with him during missions just to see him cut people. + He loves it how chaotic you could get with your victims. The violentness, he loves it. It shows that you have no limit to giving people the deserved pain. Somehow, he loves it so much. + He’s your therapist. He wasnt to be your therapist. Of course you agreed to it. I mean, he’s a good listener and not everyone gets a DEMON to be their therapist am I right?? + You, EJ and Helen get along well, sooo welll.

somethings just bloom log 2 - lovers ❤️

+ ok, EJ confessed to you first. + He confessed in the most calm, natural way any human has seen. + He came up to you one day and was like, ”Hey, we’re friends, but I wanna be more than your friend because I like you. So, can i be your boyfriend?” + Ok, wow, you were shock, speechless, taken aback, confused, etc etc. + You just nodded awkwardly because your anxiety was sky high. + How about Helen? He left pretty notes for you in your room that were JUST FOR YOU. He’d leave like, ”You are loved” ”Everyone cares about you” ”🥺 hi” + And you know it’s him from the handwritting + Mans thinks you don’t (HAHA) + Until one day, the final note, ”I love you very much, you make me feel a lot, just like art, can I kiss you?” HE GAVE YOU THAT NOTE HIMSELF BRO. + THESE TWO- THEY ARE- CUDDLY I TELL YA. + Comfort. Comfort. Comfort. You deserve it. + They know what you have been through and probably hate themselves for not being there sooner. + If you ever have a mental breakdown or your depression gets the best of you, they- they don’t care if they are dying, they will be there for you. + the both of them hate seeing you hurt. They feel somewhat useless that they can’t just magically heal you. + EJ would love to listen to songs with you. He’d probably mosh to it OoO + EJ and Helen might join you in collecting items. You guys are practically like a school club or something. ”Why are you late?” ”Had to clean my pallete,” ”We promised at 3.30 am, everyday Helen..” ”What? I didn’t forget y’know,” ”then why were you late??” ”Because I had to wash my pallete Jack!” ”Ohh, scandal i see,” You just watch in amusement, i mean- scandal with a paint palette?? + Helen makes sure you listen to music. He literally keeps reminders on his mirror = “Babe’s music hour” + Ok, they do compete for your attention. Like Helen said, you are art, and just like art, you have to be taken care properly. THEY WOULD PAMPER YOU (but like, the sweet pampering) + Spending time / quality time is also a love language. Sometimes you guys would ust sit in the same room, quietly, and just mind each others business. + THEY TAKE TURNS ON HAVING YOU SIT ON THEIR LAP WHEN WATCHING A MOVIE DUDE + AND WOW ARE THEY JEALOUS OF DWAYNE. VERY JEALOUS. I MEAN YOU LIKE HIM BEFORE EVEN BEING WITH THEM. + If you happen to be in a bad mood, the first person they would blame is each other. LMAO + Overall, you guys are- i’m speechless on how wholesome and sweet you guys could be. I am honest. It’s like 2 cats and a smol dog or 2 dogs and a smol hyped cat

Okeyy sorry it was late! Hope you like it! Have a nice day and Take care bro!!

[lebenspurpur]

MATCHUP PLEASE??? IVE LITERALLY BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. i'm sorry if this is very very rambly, im just excited. Ghost, he/they/xe/its, whoever but stirs towards more masc people, poly. I am a March Aries, born march 31st. I have two sides to me, overly loud/chaotic, and then the quiet side.... who is normally trying to plan how to fucking kill everyone or wishing i wasn't there. Anger issues to the max. My knuckles are scarred due to black outs because at school i bottle up my anger so i don't lash out and hurt someone, so i end up punching brick walls/trees. Which end up causing wounds on my knuckles/hands. I hate idiotic people, people who don't know how to stop being immature even when repeatedly being told countless times. I have quite literally stabbed someone in the arm because I asked her about ten times to stop laughing and staring at me. Very bad anxiety, so I normally bottle everything up until I hit a breaking point. This point could be me either having an anger fit(ex, punching shit, yelling, just in a angry mood), or have a silent breakdown(ex, where i shut everyone out, go nonverbal for a hot minute, and ignore everyone). I love natures and animals, both literally deserve to be treated better than they are. Half of the animals now days wouldn't act aggressive towards us if we have left them alone. I heavily believe that animals deserve the world. I listen to music 24 fucking 7. I cannot live without it, I have quite literally had breakdowns because I didn't have something to listen to music with. I listen to a lot of rock/metal genre type music, but my music taste is all over the place. I do NOT like country music minus a few songs, and all of them are the older songs. Famous Last Words, SlipKnot, KoRn, Get Scared, Hollywood Undead, Guns N' Roses, Queen, Falling In Reverse, Black Viel Brides, the list goes on. Weird facts/facts/extra, basically me just rambling; I love collecting. Animal bones, tapestry's, blankets, rocks, crystals, sticks, literally anything. I love dancing in the rain, even if its lighting and thundering. Huge anything horror/weird type of person. I love weird shit and gore. Like even if I'm cringing at it, I'm like "holy shit this is fun to watch" I kinda believe in zodiac signs? Like they make who you are but I'm not the type of person where it controls every little thing about you. Very very awkward in person, and I have anxiety. I love talking though, if I know/trust you please expect your ear to be talked off if you even remotely bring up a topic I love. Artist!! I have like 5 filled sketchbooks. I love writing as well, although I'm not really good at it. I love walks, especially if its quiet and in nature. I just get irritated if the people im walking with are constantly talking. LEMME KNOW IF U NEED MOREE

Here you go, dude. No need to pester anymore. >:)

Just a reminder that I don't take matchup requests anymore, I am just answering them!!!

🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰🎰��

🧢Bo Sinclair🧢

"I have two sides to me, overly loud/chaotic, and then the quiet side.... who is normally trying to plan how to fucking kill everyone or wishing I wasn't there."

Bo relates heavily to that. His usual self is rather loud and annoying and he knows that. However, there's a lot of tranquility in him whenever he needs to seriously focus. He has his town and brothers to protect. He definitely understands this point of you and it fills him with relief. He hasn't met many people, well he hasn't met anyone at all, who feels the same way he does.

"Anger issues to the max. My knuckles are scarred due to blackouts because at school I bottle up my anger so I don't lash out and hurt someone, so I end up punching brick walls/trees. Which end up causing wounds on my knuckles/hands."

Oh, he understands that. During his time in school, he faced thousands of such accidents that often left his classmates scarred and bruised and he won't tell you that, but it wasn't even his intention. He did not want to hurt him, yet the internal pain he felt at that time was simply too much. He couldn't take it. He still hasn't faced his anger issues. They often ruin good "hunts" because his emotions cross with his strategical, rational thinking and he hates it.

"I hate idiotic people, people who don't know how to stop being immature even when repeatedly being told countless times. I have quite literally stabbed someone in the arm because I asked her about ten times to stop laughing and staring at me."

I can hear Bo laughing about that story from here. But yeah, he feels the same. Bo has general hate for everyone he deems idiotic which is everyone really so he agrees to that.

"I listen to music 24 fucking 7. I cannot live without it, I have quite literally had breakdowns because I didn't have something to listen to music with. I listen to a lot of rock/metal genre-type music, but my music taste is all over the place. I do NOT like country music minus a few songs, and all of them are the older songs."

Same with Bo, he can not live without his music. He always has it playing in the background, be it during a nasty process of torturing or simply while he works on his cars. Just a warning: He will play country music to annoy the shit out of you. But he himself, prefers hard rock and punk rock, too, so it's not a regular occurrence.

"Famous Last Words, SlipKnot, KoRn, Get Scared, Hollywood Undead, Guns N' Roses, Queen, Falling In Reverse, Black Viel Brides, the list goes on."

You listen to a lot of stuff, he used to listen to as a teen so he does have quite the knowledge. Nowadays he's circling more and more to the classics: ACDC, Marylin Manson, Black Sabbath, maybe even a bit of Slayer, and so on.

"Huge anything horror/weird type of person. I love weird shit and gore. Like even if I'm cringing at it, I'm like "holy shit this is fun to watch"

Bo fucking loves that. I don't think he watches a lot of horror, simply because he doesn't have any movies at home, but he does enjoy some good gore. Something he absolutely doesn't like are squeamish people. He thinks people who can't stand gore are pussies so Uhm, he does appreciate your open mind.

"I love walks, especially if it's quiet and in nature. I just get irritated if the people I'm walking with are constantly talking."

Surprising, but Bo loves walks as well. He will talk though. Just drown him out, really, he just likes to vent about his day during times like this, encased by quiet woods that'll never spill any of the secrets he's so carelessly letting out.

🪁Rufus T. Firefly🪁

Impossible to find a gif from this man, Jesus.

"Very bad anxiety, so I normally bottle everything up until I hit a breaking point. This point could be me either having an anger fit(ex, punching shit, yelling, just in an angry mood), or have a silent breakdown(ex, where I shut everyone out, go nonverbal for a hot minute, and ignore everyone)."

Rufus doesn't look the type but he definitely understands that. He too gets anxious a lot. How could he not, with this family? He's there for you, whether it be to listen to you vent or let you cry into his shoulder.

"I love natures and animals, both literally deserve to be treated better than they are. Half of the animals nowadays wouldn't act aggressively towards us if we have left them alone. I heavily believe that animals deserve the world."

He'd never openly admit this but he agree. As someone who eats meat and also kills animals, he tries his best to treat them at least with a bit of respect, not like his brother would. Otis has less empathy for smaller beings like animals than Rufus.

"I love collecting. Animal bones, tapestry's, blankets, rocks, crystals, sticks, literally anything."

Rufus does that as well! Though, he mostly focuses on bones. and not just animal bones. He likes to make little stuff out of them, maybe even carve something into them. He'll likely gift you some of his creations every now and then.

"I love dancing in the rain, even if its storming and thundering."

The first time he sees you outside he just scoffs and grins softly. You look adorable like that. He quickly joins you, wrapping his jacket around you so you don't fucking freeze to death. It will take years to convince him to dance but god, after you've convinced him, he fucking loves it. (pls tell me you want a fic with this I want to write this now.)

"I kinda believe in zodiac signs? Like they make who you are but I'm not the type of person where it controls every little thing about you."

He really doesn't believe in it and he loves arguing about it. If you're comfortable enough with mindless bickering, he could spend the whole day doing it. Baby finds it extremely amusing, and Otis fucking hates it.

"Very very awkward in person, and I have anxiety. I love talking though, if I know/trust you please expect your ear to be talked off if you even remotely bring up a topic I love."

Like I said before, Rufus absolutely understands that. And he's like a giant teddy bear. If you want to calm down by just rambling while he holds you, that is fine by him. That man is touch starved anyway. And he finds your random talks endearing, he really does. Rufus is not the biggest talker so he adores if he can just listen to you.

"Artist!! I have like 5 filled sketchbooks. I love writing as well, although I'm not really good at it."

he has never drawn anything and he doubts he'd be good at it. He prefers to work with wood or bones, so his subject's more carving and that kind of stuff. He does like to watch you draw though. And if you draw him, he melts. Obviously, he doesn't show it. But every drawing you give him, he keeps in his drawer, safely tucked away from his nosy siblings.

HOPE YOU LIKE IT AAAA!!

[ablednt]

im not disagreeing with ur gifted kid post, but the way some of ur stuff is phrased can come off in ways u might not have intended. boiling those sorts of unrealistic expectations of very young kids down to "being complimented too much" ignores that a lot of these kids were unfairly placed in these programs and forced to complete them regardless of how much they struggled with it (and that these kids were in prime environments for developing npd due to overinflated ego from a young age). many gifted kids were given extremely unreasonable expectations and only barely managed to meet them in order to avoid facing punishment for failing. im not saying there ARENT gifted kids who dont treat it like "oh i was so special and now im not boohoo :( i need special treatment for it" but i feel like theres some aspects thats have been unintentionally misunderstood (/nm /nonagg!!! ^^ just wanted to bring this up as more of a discussion than an argument, hope ive made sense!)

No I definitely agree but my point is that I've never seen a genuine discussion from these people about this and I'm sure they exist to some capacity but that's Very Clearly not what the community was formed around nor where the term originated. People don't complain that they had expectations on them they just make stupid tiktoks like "teachers seeing a neurodivergent person: omg you're so smart you're my favorite student!!!" and then act like that's 1. universal and not just for palatable NDs and 2. that being complimented by their teachers was the problem and not everything else

I think it's also important to note that the expectations really weren't worse for gifted kids, it's just that gifted kids got closer to reaching those expectations and felt they actually had a chance whereas everyone else was punished automatically for not coming close. The issue is not specific to any one class or type of class it's a widespread issue with academia as a whole.

I genuinely don't think that gifted kids had it any easier than anyone else but I don't think that they had it harder either. Recently someone while venting told me, "I think school is stealing my family from me" because of the extreme expectations put on them and they're definitely not in any kind of gifted kid program, it's literally just as bad and extreme for all of us.

Like and I really don't think it's a coincidence that the times that I've criticized gifted kids and the times that I've challenged academia is when I've gotten some of my most blatantly ableist asks telling me to "just get over [my disability] and read some fucking books" and grasping at whatever straws they can to make me look "unintelligent" (like yeah I totally don't have trauma with academia I'm just mad because [checks notes] I play undertale sometimes and it made me incapable of coherent thought I guess/s)

The community is inherently classist and ableist and whilst they definitely do have trauma from academia it is not any different than the rest of ours, them separating it as some different and unique trauma just because they did better than us so obviously we just Wouldn't Understand their Huge Brains is just so frustrating and gross and I just really wish people would realize that rather than using this as a crutch not to work on their internalized ableism like yeah take trauma processing at your own pace but that doesn't mean you get to make it everyone else's problem.

Also a lot of people are gonna hate this comparison but I frankly don't see a single difference in gifted kids making up terms to say that their experiences are somehow more severe or even all that different to ours cause they're just Built Different and empaths taking widespread issues that affect everyone and acting like they're just sensitive special little souls and we could never comprehend their pain when really it's the same shit like depression, anxiety, etc. that we all live with on a daily basis.

[lunarmessenger]

hi!! i wonder if i could request a one shot angst with saeyoung. so mc have a huge anxiety and she always closed up everything even after she's with saeyoung. one day when saeyoung snapped at her out of stress, she end up missing for like around two weeks without any traces even saeran cant help saeyoung to find her

after searching for the whole times they end up finding out that mc got in accident and still in the hospital because her injuries was so bad and actually someone from rfa (u can choose who) try to hide this from saeyoung because mc told them everything

i know its quite hard im sorry 😭

ohohohoho anon you give me too much power for requesting an angsty prompt. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much for this request! I will have to split it into quite a few parts because otherwise...it’ll be much too long haha ^^;; - luna xx

p.s. sorry requests are taking so long!! the holidays have been insane, but i promise after christmas and new years i’ll go back to posting regularly!

warnings: graphic depictions of major injuries, mentions of hospitals, and mentions of mental illness.

word count: 1.9k

(pt. 2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4)

Hard Regrets (Pt. 1) - 707 x MC

Her nimble fingers switched on the heater as a cold chill ran through the house, hands reaching up to the small blanket she’d thrown over her shoulders. The soft patters of rain thumped against the roof of the apartment, the only sound competing with the rain being the soft clicks coming from Saeyoung’s computer and the flicker of paper as Saeran read through one of his many books.

She smiled fondly as Saeran’s eyes danced across each page, filling his mind with the story as he burrowed deeper into the couch. That smile faded as her eyes slowly switched to his brother, her boyfriend, the man hunched roughly over his desk as he typed furiously. Empty cans of soda and crinkled bags of honey buddha chips littered both his desk and his floor, causing her to sigh as she walked over to help clean up.

This project had ended up being one of his longer ones, tomorrow making it about two months since he was assigned the task by Jumin. She was used to seeing Jumin overwork Jaehee, but now that it was affecting Saeyoung the way it was...it made her anxious. Of course his exhaustion worried her, but he became much more irritable when he became fixated on an important project.

Within the past month he’d grown incredibly distant so that he wouldn’t have any sort of distractions, and that meant that she didn’t get to spend time with him as often as she wanted to. The last time she’d reached out to him he had glared at her, telling her that while yes, he loves you, he needed to finish this project.

“No distractions, MC.” She whispered softly under her breath, a reminder he himself had given her the last time she interrupted. All she’d wanted from him was a hug. She slowly approached, bare feet softly tapping against the wooden floors as she made her way over. She was a couple of feet away from him, stopping as she hesitated. Maybe coming up with some sort of excuse would help guide him away from his computer? It wouldn’t be seen as a distraction since it wasn’t selfish; more like a welfare check?

“Are you boys up for some tea?” Saeyoung didn’t move an inch, mumbling a rough no as he continued to type and click across the screen. She visibly deflated, the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep growing heavier from his rejection. He hadn’t even been sleeping in their bed lately; he would sleep right there, on that god damned desk of his. She was snapped out of her rejection at the sound of the couch cushions moving; Saeran gave a small smile as he book marked his page, placing the book on the coffee table as he stood.

“I would love some, MC. In fact, I’ll help you make it. Come on...” The soft tone of his voice was a nice contrast in comparison to the rough rudeness of Saeyoung, the weight on her chest slightly lifting as she walked with him into the kitchen. Saeran grabbed the tea leaves while MC weakly grabbed three glass mugs; despite Saeyoung saying he didn’t want any. She readied the kettle, pressing the on button and watching as the blue light illuminated the dim kitchen and the water slowly started to come to a boil.

“MC...I’m sorry that Saeyoung is...the way he is.” The sudden apology from Saeran made her eyes widen as she turned to look at him, parts of her long hair falling into her face as she cleared her throat.

“What? Oh, no I mean...I guess...” She tried to think of an excuse for him, tried to come up with reasons on why it didn’t bother her that he got so invested that he not only forgot about her and Saeran, but forgot to take care of himself. Her eyes grew hot with tears for a split second as she shook her head.

“I just, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be honest with him about anything, because the last time I tried he...” She started to visibly shake, the only thing keeping her together being the sudden tap of the kettle signaling the water was ready. When she’d interrupted him before he almost flipped the chair because he was so angry; her distraction had caused him to mistype due to ruining his focus; according to him.

The only people who knew how he was making her feel was Saeran and Zen; the thought of the two men’s kindness towards her when Saeyoung was the way he was when he was writing made a soft smile grace her exhausted face once again. Though she hated to admit it, sometimes she wondered why she had not moved on to either Saeran or Zen. Both men would treat her the way she deserved, and she knew that, really she did.

But Saeyoung...she just loved him so much.

The way he was when they first met; how he had tried so hard to push her away and he just couldn’t. Because he didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to either, and she stayed because she knew that he loved her. Something in him changed, she can’t really remember when it happened; it just did. When he got a new project it was like MC didn’t exist; and he acted like he didn’t treat her that way when it was finished. No matter how much she hated it, no matter how much it made her cry; she just couldn’t leave.

All because she loved him.

“MC...? Should we take these to the couch? Maybe I can read you a couple of chapters?” She was snapped back to attention by Saeran, giving a slight nod as he took two mugs and she carried the last one. The sweet smell of honey and chamomile filled her nose as she slowly walked over to Saeyoung’s desk, his body still in the same position she had left him.

“Saeyoung...” Her voice was soft as she tried not to startle him, her anxiety slowly building with the tension as Saeran noticed what she was doing.

“Wait, MC; maybe we should just leave the tea over here?” She paused furrowing her brows as she tilted her head and slightly turned towards him.

“Then how is he supposed to know we at least made him a cup?”

“MC—” She turned back around to continue walking when her foot caught on one of the empty cans, causing her to lose her balance as she let out a gasp.

“MC!” She tried to redirect the cup as it flew out of her hands, the hot tea splattering all over Saeyoung’s desk and computer. Her heart sank in her stomach as Saeran was instantly at her side, Saeyoung leaping from the hot temperature and the sparks that flew around his desktop as he yelled.

“Are you...are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?!” His voice boomed throughout the apartment as he turned towards her, golden eyes filled with rage as he loomed over her. He was so angry that he hadn’t realized her hand was red from being burned; she’d managed to get most of the tea spilt on her in an attempt to salvage his tea. 

“Oh, MC...oh God you’re burned; we need to get you to a hospital.” Saeran helped her up but Saeyoung was quick to push them apart, getting in her face as he pointed at his desktop.

“Do you know how long it took me to figure that out, MC?! You’re so fucking lucky that I had a back up running at the same time because I swear to God...” His voice was low, teeth clenched and nose scrunched as he angrily glared at her. Saeran grabbed him by the hood, yanking him away from MC as she shook from his outburst. He has never physically grabbed her and yelled at her the way he just did.

She watched as the two brothers went head to head, noses almost touching as they screamed back and forth. It became too much for her as she got up, trying not to catch their attention as she slid on her shoes and slowly opened the door. The rain had started to come down harder, the wind howling as her loose bun instantly came undone and wildly blew her hair around her face.

She almost, almost second guessed her decision until the sound of glass breaking caught her attention, the mug of tea that was supposed to be hers now smashed in pieces by one of the walls. Saeyoung’s chest was heaving while Saeran got up from a squatted position; almost as if he’d dodged whatever Saeyoung threw.

 Those pieces mirrored her heart; that mug was one that Saeyoung had bought her when they had first started going out. A picture of a cat had been printed on it, the cat making a winking face as the phrase I meow you! cradled the toon cat. It was one of her many prized possessions, and he had smashed it like it meant nothing to him.

That finalized her decision.

“What, Saeran? Stay out of this!”

“Are you so damn selfish that you haven’t realized that your girlfriend has burned half of her body to try and save your desktop? We need to get her to a hospital! Now!” He quickly turned to where she was squatting down by the wall, pausing when he realized that she wasn’t there anymore.

“MC...?” Saeran’s brows furrowed as he walked down the hall, leaving Saeyoung to cool off as he looked back towards his computer. The monitor screens were black as the tea slowly seeped into his keyboard and monitors. The more anger that left his body the more he’d realized what he’d done, his body slowly going into shock as he stared at the broken mug on the ground. The pink heart was in pieces, the larger part covered in brown tea as Saeran’s voice slowly became white noise in the background.

What had he done?

This entire time he’d been an absolute shit to his girlfriend; the one person who had supported him from day one. He slowly shuffled over to the broken pieces, socks growing wet from the spilled tea as he picked up the pieces.

“What have I done...?”

“Saeyoung! Saeyoung she’s gone!” He slowly blinked, not even bothering to adjust his glasses and messy red hair in tussles as he put down the glass and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What?”

“She’s gone! Her phone is on the coffee table, and she didn’t take her bag! Saeyoung we have to find her; there’s a storm outside and she’s by herself!” Saeran was rushing to put on his coat and grab an umbrella, his boots clunking against the floors as he grabbed Saeyoung’s shoulders.

“Saeyoung, if you love her, you need to get off your ass now and help me find her. Now!” He slapped his dumbfounded brother, forcing him on to his feet and throwing a coat at him as he grabbed one of the many car keys hanging from the key shelf. Reality sank in as he threw on his sneakers, grabbing a beanie from the coat rack and tossing it on. He felt his stomach churn as his hand brushed against her coat and scarf, grabbing the scarf she always wore and wrapping it around his neck.

We have to find her, we have to find her.

I have to find her.

[emiliaheartfeel]

Supergirl

Chapter 9: Wtf is going on

AN: The final chapter should be out today or tomorrow because studying was hurting my face so I start working one this. Again this is only volume 1. Pretty please make sure to comment!

And just as you guys had planned Suna arrived to your apartment with the little snacks you had mentioned in passing you liked. Your heart beat a little faster knowing he remember even though you two had know each other for a little less then a month. Not being able stop yourself you throw your arms over his broad shoulders hugging him tightly.

“Aw missed me that much.”

“You were right. We should’ve hung out early this week.”

Your left foot goes to rub the back of your right calf as you let him go. You have been ridden with anxiety since you got his text about the twins lying. It kinda is freaking you out. Maybe he will let you change your mind and you two can have movie night with the snacks. No, No! You were going through with this.

“Okay so what’s going on?”

“You might want to sit down.”

“No thank you. I am so nervous I think I am going to throw up.”

“Reasonable. Um... so ah”

“Hey I am going to be fine.”

“I don’t know if you are.”

“With all due respect you don’t know that well.”

“I know, but it’s not good.”

“Suna, I need support and honesty.”

“Well honestly it’s not good but you definitely are.”

“That was terrible”

“Okay so I don’t really know where to start”

“Just pick a spot and go from there”

“Ah.. so like you had sex with Atsumu.”

Her head snaps so fast to him he’s shocked she doesn’t have whiplash. The horror one her face makes Suna nauseous now. She swallows as her face is still pale.

“What does that have to do with this!”

“Shit. Should I have started with the fact that they both actually love you like romantically.”

Watching her reacting told him he might have been better leaving that out and for the twins to tell you when you eventually confront. At least he hoped you were going to. Yeah they fucked up, but like you said earlier they were all you basically had. Which after he talked to you more he found was really true. They were your biggest support through the good and the bad. He knew this would effect you guys relationship no matter what he just hoped there was still a relationship.

“Ah... Atsumu and Osamu have both loved you for years. They didn’t want the relationship to change so neither of them made a move.”

“Wait that means,”

Your voice cracks as it dawned on you Tsum had known this and lied to you. Tsum lied to you and then fucked you. You couldn’t feel anything.

“Do you need me to stop for now?”

You give a short nod biting your pointer finger to hold the scream of anguish. Tsum was your rock. A foundation that was unmoving in your life. That foundation has shifted under your feet and thrown you on your back knocking any air out of you. You can’t find your footing it like that one time you hit the vault square in the center of your back. You’re gasping for air that your lungs can’t find.

“Can I approach you,”

You barely hear Suna over the buzzing in your head but you find your head bobbing up and down. He sits you down on your couch leans you into him and just holds you.

“I got you. Anytime it becomes too much just say the word and I will let ya go.”

“No... just.. need to breath”

“Yeah okay beautiful. Whatever you need”

You both sit there awhile as he starts to play with you hair gently. You hum as you close your eyes and focus on keep your breath even. Not knowing how much time has pasted you sit up straight and look Suna in the eyes.

“I think I am good. Please continue”

“You sure?”

“Yes”

“So he lied to you. He says he never meant for it to escalate but he’s weak and selfish he’s not gonna deny that. But yes he lied to you about Osamu”

“Okay but how is Osamu lying to me? You said the twins not Atsumu.”

“Atsumu finally told Osamu all this last week. After he calmed down enough to talk to Atsumu he said you couldn’t know. And they agreed not act like it never happened and move on. Put their feelings aside forever and just be there for.”

“That’s a lot to take in”

You feel like you are in water. Just floating there without sound or sight or much of anything. Both of them have betrayed you knowingly. You didn’t think that one of them would do this, but now you have to deal with both of them. You take another breath for yourself. You don’t know what your going to do. You need time to process this.

“Take it in your own time”

“But they are gonna worry if I just don’t talk to them”

“Think about you right now. What’s going to help you”

“Okay can we stay like this then”

“Yeah sure”

His long arm wrap around trapping you in the warmth when you feel so cold. You don’t know how to feel. You’re hurt and confused. And want to talk them immediately but also never want to see them again. You want to hug them and tell them your all good but also tell them you’ll never be the same. So you just stay there in their best friend’s arms.

Your brain stutters at that. They love you and your find comfort in their best friend from wounds they have caused. How fucked up is that. What if he’s here because now he knows your ‘easy’, but Suna hadn’t been giving you any of those vibes. You just couldn’t get rid of the grating feeling of being with their friend instead of them. Maybe he told you to bring you into his arms. You don’t know anymore. The two people you trusted most you no longer trust and your seeking solace from someone who is kinda a stranger.

“Hey, hey your okay,”

“You’re they friend”

“Yes”

“But you told me something they definitely did want you to”

“I told you already I couldn’t help but think of my sister.”

“So your not here for the hanky lanky”

“Hanky panky?! Hahaha no I am not! Not to say your not attractive I have expressed many times how attractive I find you. It’s just it’s not appropriate not with the information you just got. And we haven’t even talked about dating”

“Oh”

“Hey I know your mind is probably a mess right now. Don’t worry about talking or asking me anything.”

“I don’t want to start dating not with this. I got to figure this all out.”

“I figured as much. But if you want to play a game and chat just let me know.”

“I didn’t want to start a relationship before this like not a solid one I guess”

“Oh...”

“No not like it’s you. Um like you’re great and I think I like you but I am was?? I am?? Getting over Osamu and I leave in two days to go back to Tokyo to resume my professional training. First relationship and long distance doesn’t seem like it would work”

“That makes sense”

“Sorry”

“No need for you apologize. Sucks because your a great girl but if that’s how you feel I can’t change that”

“Your surprisingly very understanding”

“My family is a firm believer in therapy and mental care. Especially I had my first depression dip”

“Ah okay”

“You don’t have to answer me, but do you think you’ll ever forgive them.”

“I want to, but I don’t know”

Masterlist

AN: You shouldn’t have to feel bad for not forgiving someone who took advantage of you. You shouldn’t have to feel bad for forgiving them.

AN: I am a strong believer that Suna is deeply depressed but gets it worked on. I also believe that Atsumu is a huge overthinker with severe anxiety. If I haven’t stated it Reader-Chan is a years younger the Suna and the twins.

IF I GET 10 COMMENTS YOU GUYS GET A BONUS CHAPTER! 😝

@kaleidoscopekai @je-suis-argent-miel @liferuinedby5idiotsand1genius @poppi144 @idontevenknow129 @ssuna @im-the-music-whore @kac-chowsballs