#i have to get into the doc anyway for multiple reasons

[donexmiras]

The more i figure out my symptoms the more and more it looks like I have anemia, which is very frustrating with my heavy exhaustion levels

I'd like to hope that adapting to a healthier eating habit might help with it, if not I'm gonna have to talk to a doctor which is hnng

[celestialglow24]

•••Promise Me•••

Frank Castle x AFAB reader

You finally see Frank again after months of being apart with no explanation.

hi friends. more Frank angst because this man has taken over my mind lately and i think you all should suffer with me. please enjoy xx

The walk back home from the restaurant wasn’t too bad of a trek. You had convinced yourself it’d be alot faster than waiting around for an uber, or bothering your cousin at 12 am to come down there and pick you up.

Was it wise? Probably not. But the multiple shots of liquid courage—fueled with the desire to take a long hot shower—gave you a sense of confidence no one would have been able to shake.

So you said your goodbyes to the group you were with, telling them a little white lie that your ride was here, and began walking home.

As the loud street music and bustling noise of downtown nightlife started to fade, that confidence began to wane.

It was really quiet out here, and no one was around from what you could tell. You could see the sign for a park a little ways ahead and that managed to level your nerves.

Your cousin’s apartment wasn’t too far from there and if you kept at the pace you were moving, you could get there in 10 minutes or so.

God you hated wearing heels. You’d yet to find a pair that didn’t make you want to cut off your feet and curse the ground after only a couple of hours of use.

There was a part of you that was half tempted to take them off and walk the rest of the way barefoot, but after already passing several broken bottles along the street, you decided you didn’t want to chance a night in the ER.

All things considered you were proud of yourself for going out tonight. It had been months since you’d done anything besides: work, sleep, eat, repeat.

Save for a few weekends now and then of binge watching a true crime doc with your cousin Lucy or a trip to the dog park with her dog Penny, you hardly allowed yourself any time to relax.

Anything to avoid your mind having the opportunity to think of him. To think of your past.

So when your coworker invited you out with people from your department to celebrate their recent promotion, you decided to let yourself enjoy a night out. You felt you had earned it.

You hadn’t been working for the company very long, but you got along with everyone pretty well. It was nice of them to include you.

It was certainly more fun than you expected to have but after your brain had tried multiple times to convince you that you’d seen someone that wasn’t there—someone who you hadn’t seen in months—you knew it was time to go.

6 months.

6 months and you still searched for him in a room full of people.

It was pathetic.

Even now, as you walked the nearly empty streets you felt him. You didn’t know how— and despite logic and reason battling with these inexplicable feelings— it still felt like you could sense his presence.

Yeah, this had to be the alcohol talking.

You tightened your trenchcoat around your torso in an effort to self soothe and offered a half smile to the few people you walked by on your way toward the park.

As you rounded the sidewalk, you pulled your phone out to text your cousin that you’d be home any minute. She was probably already sleeping but you wanted to give her the heads up anyway.

Anything to avoid her attacking you with a broom like she did the one time you got home late from work.

Just as you went to tuck your phone back in your coat pocket it slipped out of your hand, landing on the ground face down with a loud crack.

“Fuck” you cried, bending down to asses the damage. Thankfully you had a screen protector, so the actual screen was fine. But man you had done a number on it. The uneven cracks that splintered the screen made it difficult to read the time and notifications.

As you rose from your squatting position, you caught a figure out of the corner of your eye ducking behind a car across the street.

You felt your stomach drop.

Slowly… you stood up taller, squaring your shoulders and trying to steady your breathing. You calmly reached for the front clasp of your clutch, thanking any god or the universe that you managed to stow your taser earlier that night.

You chose not to make any sudden movements. Instead you waited. You waited for so long you were starting to question if you had seen anything at all. Maybe you misunderstood and it was the alcohol messing with your senses.

But when you saw the tip of a black hoodie through the window of the car you knew you weren’t losing it.

“Who’s there?” you shouted.

No response.

“Listen,” your voice shook, “I’m about 10 seconds away from dialing 911 so if you’re not interested in explaining to the cops why you’re sneaking up on -”

“Ain’t no need for all that.” You heard a voice call back.

Your breath stilled. As soon as the voice hit you, it was like the ground beneath you had been ripped away. You didn’t even feel like you were in your own body anymore.

You dug your nails into your palm, trying to startle yourself awake. Surely you had to be dreaming.

But when the figure stood and faced you, their hood falling back to reveal their face, you couldn’t deny what you were seeing.

There were so many emotions swelling inside you at once. Disbelief, disappointment, anger and relief.

You didn’t know it was possible to feel so many things at once.

Perhaps the most compelling was the realization that despite everything, you still felt love. So much love that it made you feel weak.

It almost made you forget everything that’s happened.

The feelings of abandonment. The nights of endless tears. The calls and messages that would never seem to go through.

Feelings of confusion. Of constantly wondering what you did wrong.

Questioning if any of it was ever as real to him as it was to you.

You could almost forget it all. Run right across the street into his arms. Hug him and kiss him over and over. Tell him how much you missed him. How much you need him. How much you forgive him if you could just be together again.

But as quickly as those thoughts teased your mind, the feelings of anger and betrayal enveloped you like an unrelenting wave.

You couldn’t allow the love you felt to erase the hell you’ve endured. You wouldn’t.

So you swallowed the tears that threatened to spill and turned away, making bigger strides to get back to your cousin’s apartment.

You could hear him shout your name but you kept moving.

He must have crossed the street because you could hear him calling directly behind you.

You didn’t stop. You didn’t say a word. You just kept moving.

Choosing to run was just plain stupid, but it was your only resort to get away fast.

Not only was it stupid because your feet hurt like hell and you were risking a face plant any second, but it was stupid because he was the fucking punisher.

Any attempt to try and outrun him was pointless. He’d be able to catch you before you could even finish your next thought.

“Hey!” he yelled, finally catching up to you and grabbing your arm. “Just hold up would you?”

“No!” you shouted, yanking yourself out of his grasp. You took a few steps backward and he held his arms up in defense.

At this point you know you looked like a mess. The hot tears you were trying to suppress had spilled over and you could taste the salt of them on your tongue.

You wanted to hate him. You wanted to hate him so much but seeing the pained look on his face broke your heart.

To be honest he looked like shit. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in months. His beard was long and unkempt. It even looked like he’d lost weight. And his eyes, the biggest tell of all, were sad and empty.

“I just want to talk.” he spoke calmly.

You shook your head. “How did you find me?”

When you left the witness protection program you didn’t even tell Madani where you were going. She tried to pry it out of you, swearing that it was her duty as her job and as a friend to know. However, you wouldn’t budge.

The people that were after Frank had been taken care of according to Dinah. You didn’t want to continue living out the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.

So you thanked her for all of her help and you wished her the best, but you didn’t want any ties to your life back then. You didn’t want any more reminders of him.

“He asks about you, you know?” she had said during your last conversation. “Every week like clockwork. I haven’t told him anything. Just that you’re safe and happy.”

You scoffed, “Well at least one of those is true.”

She was silent for a moment. “I hope you can give yourself a chance to be happy again. Love doesn’t always look the way we want it to and life is hardly ever fair, but once we choose to accept the pieces we are given…. we can allow ourselves to move on.”

You know Dinah meant well. And you appreciated how close the two of you had gotten based on the circumstances. But you weren’t sure if you could agree with what she was suggesting. It felt impossible to move on when your whole body still ached for him.

“Thank you Dinah.” you relented, “Who knew you could be so therapeutic?”

“Just part of the charm.” she laughed.

A comfortable silence fell between you. You were sitting on the balcony of your cousin’s apartment, and for a brief second you felt a little bit of excitement at the opportunity to start over.

Your cousin had managed to get you a job and while it wasn’t exactly what you were doing before, it was familiar work.

You’d be working for a publishing company polishing and approving manuscripts. It was boring, monotonous work but it was safe.

You thanked Madani again and expressed the hope of following up again someday in the future.

Then you changed your number and disabled your emails.

You knew doing so wouldn’t stop them from being able to find you if they really wanted to. Her and Frank were both good for that. But it gave you a sense of control for now. That you were the one deciding to distance yourself this time and the choice wasn’t being made for you.

“Could we go some place to talk?”, his voice broke you out of the memory.

You crossed your arms.

“No. You don’t get to show up out of nowhere after months of silence expecting to just talk. I have nothing to say to you.”

The words that tumbled out of your mouth were meant to be delivered with strength and conviction. Instead, they sounded more like someone trying to convince themselves that they believed them.

“I can explain whatever you want. Just let’s get out of the cold here, there’s a diner not too far out.” he said, tilting his head back towards where you came from. “We could get a cup of co-”

“No, Frank, I want to stay right here.”

He closed his mouth, but you could tell he was trying to keep his composure. You were being stubborn and as much as you hated being in the cold, you didn't want to be around other people.

You didn’t want to take the chance of losing your shit while people were trying to enjoy their food in peace.

“I get that you’re angry, but there’s a lot you don’t understand. I was just trying to protect you.” he tried to reason.

“You left me Frank. You didn’t text, you didn’t call. You left me completely in the dark.” you cried, wiping angrily at your face to rid the tears that were escaping.

“Do you know how scared I was? Having strangers show up to my house and basically tell me I couldn’t exist as me anymore? I had to move and change my name. And the one person I needed more than anything—the one person who could make all of it feel okay— wouldn't even answer a damn phone call.”

You suddenly felt like you were back in the empty apartment Madani had set you up in. You hardly knew her before that day, she was just “someone who had worked with Frank before”, according to what she told you.

But she kept giving you this look. This look that both expressed the pity she felt for you and the wonder of how you ended up in a situation like this? How you managed to get mixed up in the world of Frank Castle?

But you had met him after he had left that life behind him. And according to him, the life that he was never going back to. Things had been good for so long that you never even questioned it until that day. Now you didn’t even know what was real.

“You were in danger alright? I had angered some really powerful people. I had hurt them, did things I’m not proud of and I wasn’t about to let you take the fall for it. You weren’t safe with me.”

“I was always safe with you!” you shouted, “Who else could’ve kept me more safe than you? We could’ve worked it out together, we could’ve came up with a plan—” you stopped as you watched Frank shake his head in disbelief, “What, Frank? What the fuck is that about?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Come up with a plan? Really?” he scoffed, “This isn’t team sports. It’s not some dumb escape room you sit around and solve clues in. It’s real fucking life.”

You looked down at your feet. The escape room comment was a low blow. It was something you loved doing and grumpy Frank hated. He’d go along with it if you planned it, not bothering to hide his disdain at first, but by the end of it you knew he had fun with you.

You didn’t think he’d throw it in your face as a means to mock you.

“Frank, we were partners. That’s what you do.” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “You work through things together. As a team. Not one person taking over and telling the other person what to do all the time, but see you didn’t ever want to do that did you? You didn’t think I was capable right?”

“Don’t go there.” he warned. You could see his hands start to twitch. In the past his agitation would have gotten you to dial it back a little. You hated fighting with him and it was never worth it.

But this time you didn’t care. You didn’t understand why he was the one so angry.

“Why not?” you probed, “You always made it seem like I was one mistake away from getting myself hurt.”

“That’s because you never took things seriously. You had no sense of danger. Too trusting, too carefree, too-”

“Stupid?” you interjected.

“I didn't say that.” he shot back. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to find some place to channel the tension. You could tell this was not how he wanted the conversation to be going either.

You couldn’t believe you were having this same fight. It was something you never got along about.

You tried to be understanding. You both had different life experiences and because Frank had a military background, he had been trained to look at things a certain way.

He was trained to look for a threat and “take it out before it took you”. Transitioning back to civilian life wasn’t always that simple. Those habits could be hard to unlearn.

It wasn’t always bad, but it wasn’t always necessary.

Not every stranger was a potential threat set out to hurt you.

Staying late at work didn’t mean you were in danger and someone was holding you hostage.

Interviewing a source for your upcoming news article didn’t immediately put a target on your back.

But Frank always anticipated the worst.

You know it was his way of expressing his love but it could be a lot at times. You just wanted to enjoy life together without always feeling like there was some danger lurking around the corner waiting to get you.

“Go ahead Frank,” you continued, “Let me hear how stupid it was for me to walk home by myself tonight. How naive it was to risk getting hurt when I should’ve called a cab.”

“I ain’t gonna act like it was a good idea, and up until a few minutes ago I’m sure you were realizin it wasn’t either.”

You let out a groan.

“I was almost home, besides I don’t think anyone would’ve tried anything with the big bad punisher stalking me.” you said, throwing your arms out dramatically.

“I mean really Frank, what was your plan? Were you just gonna jump out and shout surprise? Were you gonna follow me home to make sure no one grabbed me? Stare down the cars that drove past me? The people that passed me? What was the fucking point?”

For a moment he didn’t say anything.He kept his gaze down at his boots. The twitching of his hands had stopped, and the heavy rise and fall of his chest had slowed down.

“I needed to see you.”

The phrase was simple, but it held such weight.

You understood what he meant. You felt the desperation in his voice. And yet you couldn’t stop the anger from bubbling up.

“What about all the times I needed to see you? To hear your voice? Why didn’t I deserve the decency of a phone call, a text message, anything?”

“I couldn’t risk it.”

“Bullshit.” you spat. “You could risk asking Madani about me?”

His head shot up at that.

“Are we gonna do this all night?” he asked, the anger picking up in his voice again, “Huh? We’re gonna just keep yelling at each other? Who was right? Who was wrong?”

“Yes Frank because I’m angry with you! You made me feel unimportant. You made me feel helpless, like I had no control over my own damn life anymore.” You stepped closer, making sure he couldn’t avoid your eyes.

“You pushed me away like I meant nothing to you!” you shoved him.

“No.” he shouted, “I pushed you away because you meant everything to me!”

He turned away and let out a deep breath through his nose. The weight of his words slamming into you like a wrecking ball.

“Everyone I've ever cared about gets hurt because of me. Because of my demons. Because of the shit I've done to other people. I couldn't take that chance with you. They were so close to hurting you. I had to do something. That’s why I contacted Madani. That’s why we got you into witness protection.”

You felt the sting of the tears start to swell up again. From anger, frustration or sadness you couldn’t tell. Maybe it was all three.

“You want to know why I couldn’t say goodbye to you? Why I couldn’t call you? It’s because I knew—,” he paused and looked off to the side, “I knew that if I saw you—if I just heard your fucking voice—I’d change my mind.”

He finally locked eyes with you again, taking a step closer to you. He was testing it out, seeing how close you would let him get. To his surprise you didn’t move away.

“I couldn’t be selfish with you.” he said softly.

You didn’t know what to say. You knew the people that had been after Frank were relentless, but you never once feared for your life. Maybe there was more to it that he kept from you, and you wanted to trust him, but it didn’t diminish what you experienced while he was gone.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’m not sorry I did it because you’re safe. And I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but I’d do it again in a fucking hearbeat if it meant nothing would happen to you.”

“It’s just—.” your voice trembled and you bit your bottom lip. You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t put the words together.

“What is it?” he asked gently, taking another step towards you. This time he was close enough he grabbed the bottom of your chin and tilted it up towards him.

“I really missed you and I didn’t think you cared about me anymore.” You choked.

Suddenly you felt yourself pressed up against his chest as he pulled you into him. “No baby, that’s not true.” he soothed.

You wrapped your arms around his torso and laid your head on his chest, letting all the pent up emotions slowly release. God you forgot how good it felt to be held by him.

All the nights you longed for this very feeling. For him to hug you and kiss you and tell you everything was gonna be alright.

You could feel your unsteady breathing start to level out again and all the anger and frustration slowly disappear. It was as if he was a magnet, pulling out the deepest emotions you tried so hard to bury.

“I missed you so fucking much you have no idea.” He pulled back, tilting his head down to look at you.

You both locked eyes and without thinking twice you kissed him. He responded instantly, pulling you so tightly against him it was as if he was trying to swallow you whole.

That feeling people mention of the world standing still—you finally understood what that meant.

When you couldn’t breathe anymore you pulled away, resting your forehead against his.

“What does this mean, Frank?” you quietly asked. “Can we be together now? Do we just go back to the way things were before?”

He was quiet for a moment and you almost regretted asking the question.

“It’s whatever you want it to be sweetheart.” he finally answered, “You tell me.”

You weren’t sure what to say. One half of you wanted to be together again. The other half wasn’t so sure you should give in this easily.

What if it happened again? You didn’t doubt there were more people out there that’d like to see Frank Castle and the people he loved, hurt.

Would he push you away? You didn’t think you could survive it a second time.

“Frank, I love you. I want to be with you. But I need you to treat me like an equal. I want to be included in decisions. I don’t want to be kept in the dark again, it isn’t fair.”

Though he wasn’t speaking, you could tell the thoughts were churning in his head.

“If something like this comes up again I want to know about it. I want to have a say in how we handle it. Can you please promise me that?”

Frank let out a heavy sigh. He had to fight with the selfish side of him that wanted to say no. This shouldn’t even be something you have to worry about. He’s the one that should be responsible, not you.

But if he was being honest with himself these past several months were hell. He hated not being with you and maybe compromising would be the best thing to do after all.

He didn’t like making promises in general, but as he looked into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to fight anymore. He needed to be with you just as much as you needed him too.

“Okay.” he agreed quietly.

“Promise me.” you urged again. You needed to hear him say it.

“I promise.”

You didn’t even realize how tense your body had become until you felt your shoulders relax. Frank pulled you into him again and you could feel the tension in him relax as well.

If anyone would have told you an hour ago you’d be standing in the middle of the street being held by Frank you would’ve told them they were crazy.

There were nights you never thought this moment would come. So as the two of you continued to stand there, holding onto each other. You realized there was probably nothing in this world that could match this feeling.

You would make sure that no matter what was waiting for you around the corner, you’d never let go again.

[tightwadspoonies]

How to Get a Doctor to Listen To You (and maintain the relationship you have with that doctor, cause you're gonna need that later)

First, I'll preface this by saying: The system sucks. There is no perfect way to access medical care, at least not in the USA. You've almost always got to play the system at least a little to get what you need.

Should it be this way? No. But it is. So here's how to play the game in order to get the most out of a visit to the doctor (there are very different steps to getting what you need out of a hospital stay, but that's a different post):

So First, Let's Assume You Have a Primary Care Doctor That isn't an Urgent Care or the Emergency Department (if you don't, look below the cut first for some tips on getting one, then come back up here)

First, make a list of your problems, then go at the pace of one problem per appointment. Yes I know this sucks. But please read on.

Reasoning:

Appointments are set up in 15-minute slots, but docs typically are timed to about 5-8 minutes spent in a room with a patient on average (the rest of the time is prep and charting and referring and checking in with other doctors to get advice). This is imposed by the hospital or clinic they are working for- not something they choose. If a doctor took as much time as they needed with each patient they would probably get fired. That means every minute beyond that 5 minutes is a minute being "taken" from another patient (isn't capitalism wonderful?!). And 5 minutes is about enough time to evaluate 1 single medical problem.

So when you're setting these up understand that it is way easier and faster to make a bunch of appointments all at once than making them one at a time (hence the making a list of your problems). You might be able to get one slot per week (after a new patient appointment, which will probably take a long time to schedule, see below the cut), each scheduled for a different problem. Keep in mind though, if you make multiple appointments, no-shows are not taken-to kindly. Too many and the rest of your appointments will be cancelled. If you know you can't make it, call ahead.

So what if you need seen right now for a specific symptom? Go to an urgent care or the emergency department. They are almost never going to be able to solve the problem, but a toradol shot for a migraine now is better than waiting six weeks for a sumatriptan prescription. Plus, an emergency department visit or two where they did something for you establishes a history in the record of your problem.

Does this suck? Absolutely. Is multiple appointments always practical for work/school/transportation/copay reasons? Nope. But that's the system, and unfortunately, if you go into an appointment with 6 problems, as you have probably experienced, you're either going to be asked to narrow it down to what is the most important to you anyway, or you're going to get exactly zero useful things out of that appointment.

Next, be upfront, and do it LONG before the doctor walks into the room.

When you schedule an appointment, they will ask you why you are coming. If you want to be evaluated for Ehlos Danlos, for example, say exactly that. "I want to be evaluated for ___________".

Reasoning:

No one can hold everything in their heads for their entire careers, and doctors use that little blurb of why you are coming to look stuff up before you get there.

If you spring something on them that isn't something they see every day, they will be falling back on a very small amount of information they got a long time ago. If you don't fit that tiny piece of information they have saved on that specific disease, you're probably not going to get a diagnosis.

In contrast, if they come in knowing what they will need to evaluate, they will be able to look up or ask how to do the evaluation beforehand and the evaluation for things like the thing you want evaluated. You're much more likely to get a diagnosis if they're doing the right test and asking the right questions.

Also, say you are looking for a diagnosis if that's what you want, and say why. Say something like "If I come up positive for MCAS, could you tell me? I want to try some treatments and accommodations for it that I can only get through a diagnosis."

Reasoning:

I spent 6 years in therapy before my counselor admitted to me that she thought I had had depression the entire time. Why? Because before Obamacare, having a diagnosis of anything more than the flu one time could leave you un-health-insurable for life. Plus even just a generation ago being sick in any way was something socially unacceptable.

It's still like that, but it's changing.

There's still fear about this in the medical world. Putting a diagnosis on paper that the doctor technically didn't have to used to run some pretty serious risks. Pre- HIPAA (1996) those risks extended to your job and social life too (patient privacy was actually not actually a law back then). Even today, certain health conditions (including things like gender dysphoria or schizophrenia) may be looked at unfavorably in some areas if you're trying to do something like adopt.

So be open about the fact that you want to know, and if necessary, why that information is important to you.

Finally, come up "normal" on screening questions. At the beginning of the appointment, the person who rooms you will ask you a set list of questions. These are called "screening questions" and they include things like "do you feel safe at home?" and "does transportation keep you from getting to appointments or getting medications?"

Reasoning:

Unfortunately, if they find anything they need to talk about when asking these questions, they generally have to address these problems at the appointment, which means time they cannot spend on the problem you're there for.

If youdon't feel like lying and think you might have come up "positive" (something needs to be talked about), you have to be extremely clear that you would prefer to make another appointment to discuss the screening test, and today stay focused on the problem you came in for. It depends on the doctor as to whether they are willing to take that risk (and it genuinely is a risk, to them), and you also end up eating up some time.

My wife's opinion is that you know yourself better than a screening test anyway, and sometimes you do have to lie to get what you need.

So, you know, you do what's best for you.

Keep Reading:

Choosing a Doctor:

When you are first starting out looking for a doctor, you will probably have the choice between family practice (either a family practice doctor or family practice nurse practitioner) or internal medicine (your standard adult primary practitioner). Having worked in family practice I may be biased, but personally of the two, if you're looking for someone who is most likely to listen off the bat, it's going to be someone in family practice.

You may also have the option between a private practice and a residency. Of the two, I would choose the residency, because at a residency the docs you see are going to be residents who, 1- just finished up learning about all the zebras and can still remember them, and 2- are not yet jaded. Which if you think you have anything that isn't the most straightforward case of diabetes/heart disease/COPD, that's what you need.

The First Appointment:

So here's the thing. In order to get in with a doctor, you have to do something called a "New Patient Appointment", or NPA. An NPA takes a long time to get (sometimes months) but it is worth it to get a primary care doctor. An NPA is a little longer (usually about an hour or two) and most of that is going to be screenings with a nurse or medical assistant.

Understand that very little will happen at this appointment. It is just for you and the doctor to get to know each other (through a pre-programmed set of questions) and get some background info on you. Sometimes there will be time to address one thing. Use the checkout from this appointment to make more appointments that will fix things.

[kiwanopie]

pls pls pls brat tamer yuta

thought about brat tamer Yuuta and blacked out. this was in my docs for some reason when I came to again.

Don’t be so mean to Yuuta!

cw: brat tamer! yuuta x fem!reader. smut. pussy slapping. multiple creampies. praise. edging. overstimulation. mirror sex. man handling. floor fucking. minors do not interact.

wc: 1.7k

“Please, I’m-“

“Sorry?”

Yuuta’s voice sends shivers up your spine from where his lips are planted on the sensitive spots of your nape, making hot tracks as his tongue skims over a good spot.

“I bet you are, baby.” He hums. “My sweet girl…”

Doesn’t mean he’ll let up though. If the way his grip tightens over your torso should mean anything. Tucked underneath you on the corner edge of your bed with your back pressed against his chest and his hands touching everywhere.

You don’t know what you did to deserve this. Actually, you know exactly what you did to deserve this, but you didn’t expect he’d be so harsh about it. Let him tell it and he’ll say his “Bratty baby decided to be mean for no reason.” Let you tell it and:

“Why’re you dodging my kisses?”

You roll your eyes from where he’s pouting over you, pointedly shrugging his hands off of your waist when he tries to pull you closer to him. “Why would I want your stupid kisses?”

Yuuta gapes a little at that, a little confused, a little wounded. “My kisses aren’t-? Where’s this attitude coming from?”

“I don’t have an attitude.” Which Yuuta finds hard to believe, with how your face gets all scrunched up in his attempts to crowd you in his space again. Cute little bottom lip jutting out under the shine of your flavored lip gloss and he can’t help but wanna coo at how squeezable you look when you’re throwing a fit.

Although, with the mood you’re in he fears he might come up short a hand if he actually tried to. The way you turn your shoulder at him has him following on your heels like a lost dog. “Not like you’re asking ‘cause you care.”

“Hello? Why wouldn’t I…?” Yuuta stumbles. “Baby, what? You were fine just earlier, did I do something wrong?”

Other than blow you off for like eighty percent of the day? Sure, he invited you to watch him train - bought you lunch when he realized he’d be at it longer than he anticipated, and gave you his phone to entertain yourself with when yours eventually died from being out so long. But he promised the two of you would actually get to hang out today! Not sit on those stupid stone bleachers till your bottom got all sore. Feeding him water in between breaks and pretending like this isn’t the unteenth time something like this has happened.

You’re fed up. He never wants to do what you want anymore. “No, no. Don’t even worry about it. You must be tired anyway. What with all the training you got in.”

Yuuta briefs a few long strides till he’s standing in the pathway to your bedroom door, walking back on his heels as you try to push past him. “I’m not? Is this about that? I didn’t mean to keep you out all day if that’s-“

“It’s whatever.”

“No. It’s not whatever. Clearly you’re upset.” His eyes follow you as he finally plops himself on top of your mattress. Yuuta’s long legs hang off the side so much his knees bend a little and he slumps when you opt to ignore him in favor of fishing your closet for something more comfortable.

“Baby- I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s going on. What’s got you all cranky?”

“Cranky.” You grumble under your breath. “Can't even be mad without you underplaying everything.”

You step out of your closet with a little dress on that makes his face hot. Pretty mint thing that makes you look softer than you already are, even as you throw him a mean glare on your way to your hamper.

“So, you are mad?”

“I’m not.”

“You totally are.”

“I’m not.” You hiss this time. “Maybe you’re just an asshole!”

Whoops.

Which, come to think of it, maybe blowing up at him for no apparent reason was a little much - but it can’t be helped. Especially when you immediately freeze in place over the tension that overcomes the room at your sudden outburst. Yuuta’s brows furrow as his jaw clenches and he stares at you with the kind of blank look that usually comes about when he’s mulling over something.

You expect him to get up and leave the room. Let your respective parties cool off after you’ve just crossed the line by cursing at him so harshly. You expect a kinder punishment than the one he actually has in store.

But instead Yuuta sighs and straightens his back, spreads his legs a little to make room for you. “Come here.”

“Yuu-“

“Mh. Sit down.”

This is just cruelty.

You whimper at the way his fingers skirt over your aching clit, wet sloppy sounds of your lips parting over his glossy digits as he feels around your gooey center. You’re dripping. Soaking the little sliver of mattress you’re hovering over but the meanest part is that it isn’t just your slick that’s making such a mess.

Through misty eyes do you still see the reflection of his throbbing cock splitting you open in the vanity mirror across the room. Slow rhythmless grinding that could just barely push you over the edge if it weren’t for all the-

Smack!

You must’ve been squirming again.

Your broken voice clips in tandem with the loud slap that comes from his sudden assault on your aching pussy, nigh earning another one at the way your hips jump too suddenly in his lap. This is your punishment. Watching in lust dazed envy as your lover fucks you slowly on his cock. Listening to his heated breaths, feeling his hands all over you, being wholly enveloped by him. His voice pitches as his cock swells in your already gooey insides. You can do nothing but whine as he belts his arms around you and cums again with a broken grunt in your ear.

You sniffle as he presses a few scattered kisses behind your ear, already raising his hips to continue. “Please… please let me cum, Yuu..”

“Hhm? No one’s stopping you?”

“But I need-“

“What’dya need an asshole like me for, pretty girl?” And even though he’s being bitter his tone is still sugary. “This little princess cunt can cum all on her own, huh?”

The way you tighten around him has him groaning drunkenly in your ear. “God, you feel so fucking good..”

“Yuutaa, I can’t- I can’t without you. Please…!!”

Yuuta breathes a sigh into the crook of your neck.

He’s been going at this for what feels like forever. At this point you’re so on edge that you’ve started to goosebump and you can’t help yourself but to twitch and whine whenever he grinds against a good spot. Through the overstimulation he’s unsatiated. He can’t fuck into his perfect little pussy the way he wants without risking you getting away with that nasty attitude of yours. Hurting his feelings like you did. And being anything other than his sweet - obedient little girl.

Because bad girls. - Brats like you don’t deserve to get fucked all nice and fair like you’ve been begging him to this past hour or so. They don’t deserve gentleness on their raw little clits or any moment of reprieve you should expect from taking load after load since being seated in his lap like this.

They deserve to be treated like a hole, because that’s all you’re good for right now.

The quick intake of breath he takes startles you almost as much as the feeling of your arms being pulled back behind you. You wobble a little on your numbing legs as he uses his knees to help support you in a stand, and shutter as he presses one last kiss to your nape before standing to his height completely.

And then he starts drilling.

Yuuta has to keep his eyes from rolling back at the way he watches your reflection drool. “O-Oh! Oh, yes! Oh fuck yes, baby!”

He keeps a concentrated frown as he thrusts into you through clenched teeth.

“You’re so-“ Pap! “Fucking spoiled,” Pap! Pap! “You can’t even…mfh, act like you’re learning anything fr’m this..!”

”m’sorry..” You babble. “So s-sorry! M’so sorry, Yuu. So-… p-please… fffuck! Fuck fuck fuck!”

“S’that all you can say? Does my brat even know what she’s apologizing for?”

Your face drops out of view of the mirror when the effort to keep your neck craned up becomes too muscle consuming, most of your muscles too busy constricting and spazzing in the wake of your first orgasm. Honestly, you barely have the wherewithal to speak let alone put together a coherent thought. But you figure not responding might come at the expense of the mind numbing bliss you’re experiencing at the moment.

“F’being so mean! I didn’t-“ You gasp at the way he presses his hips against your backside, grinding himself in so thoroughly that you nearly lose your train of thought.

“I just… wanted ta spend more time with you, Yuu…!”

Yuuta pauses a quick pensive beat.

And then you’re on the floor.

He presses a hand into the middle of your back to keep you arched all prettily for him, the other, knuckle deep in your hair as he mushes your cheek into the floorboards. “So, y’ thought the best way to do that was to call me an asshole?”

“I whasn’t ‘hinking…!”

“Ohh of course you weren’t, baby,” Yuuta shudders at the way you feel creaming on him a second time. “‘Can’t be doing too much thinking now, anyways.”

You’re every nerve ending in your body when he deepens his thrusts to curve himself over your messy form, completely and utterly lost in pleasure as he pulls your head up by your hair and meets your teary eyes with his own - pupils dilated by pure affection.

“Think you can tell me what we learned outta all this? Or have you completely checked out at this point.”

“D-Don’t… don’t be so mean to Yuuta!!”

He chuckles. The kiss he places over your ear nearly pushes you over the edge as much as what he says does. “Good girl! That’s my girl. So smart.”

Your eyes roll as he unceremoniously drops your head to fuck you with more earnest. Much to your poor pussy’s dismay. “Let’s spend more time together, baby. - Just you and me.”

He coos at the way your drool starts to gather in a cute little puddle under your cheek. “After I’m sure my baby’s learned her lesson.”

[stylespresleyhearted]

what’s the secret project you posted 👀

oh gosh i keep meaning to answer this and then i keep forgetting or pushing it back for reasons unknown to me i think im just unaccustomed to having any asks lol but anyways this is something that actually started because of a certain thing me and marina yell about when it comes to austin and then as our love for callum grew it came to something else grand and beautiful. now it’s only something that has been discussed in the chat, it has no doc or nothing official to it, it may never even come to fruition (marina is already gifting us with so much goodness in the fic worlds she dabbles in)

but i will share some of it and feel free to come further talk about it if it interests you 😘

Warnings: nsfw below the cut, open relationship, threesome, guy x guy, guy x guy x girl

So we’re all aware of how Austin put his blood, sweat, tears, and soul into his Elvis role. This man gave it his all and I’m truly so grateful to him for it because in my opinion (and most importantly in Lisa Marie’s opinion) he did Elvis Presley justice.

• Bree is a famous and highly esteemed guitarist, singer, and lyricist. She’s won multiple Grammies and written for and with Lana Del Rey, Arctic Monkeys, etc., that’s more her vibe. Baz hires her on during the making of Elvis movie so she could help him modernize the soundtrack and help with the choosing of songs. Maybe she’s even there when Austin gathers all the people from the record label and has them ridicule Austin after his first run through.

• But she’s there before filming and she’s there during filming and her and Austin even shack up together for a while during the first COVID lockdown, spending time with him in his apartment and staying up at all hours of the night to help him get certain scenes right. The bed sheets are tangled, kisses are shared, breakfast is eaten in bed not in the kitchen and there are multiple walks on the beach taken together.

• Bree tries her best to be there for him through all of it. She can sense he’s about to sky rocket and rightfully so, she doesn’t think anyone around can currently measure for his talent. She tries to be a soundboard and a friend and a girlfriend of sorts and a co worker and he’s got her playing all these different roles to keep up with him but keep in mind he never asked her to do any of that. She’s doing it because she loves him, maybe she isn’t in love with him or if she is she isn’t aware of it yet but she does love and care for him.

• And he’s going through his shit. He isn’t sure where Austin begins and Elvis ends and he isn’t in the headspace for a relationship, especially with Bree who deserves the world so when he’s sick as a dog and bed ridden before heading to London he makes sure to have the conversation with her. They were never official. Never went public or had rumors swirl. It’s better to end it on a good note and leave it how it is.

• So consider his surprise when a few months into filming MOTA, Bree shows up on Callum’s arm being introduced as his girlfriend. It’s supposed to be a lads night and Barry dragged him out and now someone who he calls one of his closest friends is introducing Bree as his current girlfriend. A close friend who he goes on walks in the parks with, who places kisses on his cheek after a few drinks, who places his hand on the small of Austin’s back when he approaches him, who pinches his cheeks and welcomed him with open arms. Dating someone who was there at his worst and gave him her heart and stayed up entire nights talking him down when his anxiety was too high and made him do self care when he forgot he was supposed to be his own person.

• and see, Callum and Bree are both Brits so they run in semi same circles and they knew of each other and were friends but Callum was with Vanessa Kirby and they were in love and for a while Bree was with Alex Turner and them afterwards there was Austin. So Callum and Bree were already friends and when they run into each other at a record shop and then head to lunch after and maybe Callum gave her a kiss goodbye when they went separate ways - it all just grew from there.

• so maybe Austin feels a green jealous monster growing inside his chest but who he’s jealous of he’s unsure and a larger part of him is actually happy for both of them. They’re good people, they love each other and both deserve each other.

• they’re suddenly everywhere. She accompanies Callum on set and it’s clear to everyone how in love they are and one time when they’re filming the POW scenes and everyone’s on lunch Austin is looking for peace and quiet so he wanders into their “bunks” but there right in front of him - Callum holding Bree up against the wood panel walls, pounding into her as she moans his name so prettily, his sheepskin jacket still on and making him sweaty. Callum’s eyes open and he catches Austin walking, Austin who trips over his own feet to back away but Callum just smiles and winks at him.

• and later Callum approaches Austin with a high five and a cheeky, “see how good I was giving it to her, mate?”

• and fuck, Austin gets hard thinking about it. Gets hard thinking about Bree’s moans and Callum’s grunt and his sweat and her breasts bouncing against his chest.

• then filming wraps and Austin’s free of them. Doesn’t have to be in there presence every day anymore and he meets someone, a nepo baby who’s beautiful and kind and he’s in a place where he feels he can be with someone so he goes for it and he falls in love.

• and MOTA press isn’t until 2024 so it’s two years of only a handful of run ins with them but then press starts and news break: Callum and Bree are engaged. And the entire cast and crew are happy and they all celebrate.

• She didn’t join Elvis press because she was touring.

• so now Austin is around his engaged friends and he has mixed feelings regarding both of them. See he’s happy and he loves his girlfriend and his career is good but if he’s being honest something is missing and when he wants to torture himself he admits he knows exactly what it is. And he’s doing interviews and Bree is backstage and Callum’s always so touchy and so kind in his words in regard to Austin and one day Callum admits Bree told him what went down between Bree and Austin and Callum’s a confident guy, he assures Austin it’s all fine.

• But maybe it’s the first screening of MOTA, and Callum and Bree are tired of Austin’s sad puppy dog eyes every time they catch him watching them so Bree corners Austin backstage. Gets close and starts palming him through his pants, assuring him Callum wouldn’t mind, in fact Callum has been purposely teasing Austin during interviews trying to get him to cave.

• Callum and Bree both decided if they all wanted it how could it be wrong? Why not go for it?

• And Bree’s falling to her knees and taking Austin in her mouth, pretty pouty lips wrapped around him as she takes him all the way in and suddenly Callum is there, watching them, talking her through it.

• “Isn’t she phenomenal, mate? Had to work with her to get rid of that gag reflex and now she can deep throat me.”

• and Callum waits until Austin mewls his name and calls him over, begging him to be a part of this somehow, to please hold him. So Callum is joining them, Bree so pretty on her knees between them and Callum is flicking Austin’s nipple and letting Austin let his moans out in his neck.

That’s all we have more to come soon if ya’ll wish 🌚

• oh yeah there’s a scene where Bree holds Austin’s hand the first time Callum fucks him because she’s aware of the pain of how large Callum is.

@precious-little-scoundrel

[bonesbuckleup]

Hi, random q. I saw in your tags that you swear by Scrivener for original fic. I’m still plugging away in ye olde Word and now I’m intrigued to know what about Scrivener you like so much. I’ve def heard about it but never used it, so I’m curious :)

YES I would love to tell you about my lord and savior software Scrivener. I hope you don't mind I published this long, long answer publicly.

So. The main issue I have with Word and Google Docs is that you hit a certain length/word count, and it starts to lag and load kind of jerkily. You know? Also, navigating chapter to chapter or scene to scene is awkward for me--you either have to have a whole bunch of individual documents and multiple windows open, or you have to use headers and the table of contents...which is fine for quickly finding chapters but less so for scenes within those chapters.

Messy, basically. Does not spark joy for me.

Enter Scrivener.

Now, before I evangelize a bit, I will say that Windows Scrivener and Mac Scrivener are not 100% created equal. They are both better, I think, than Word or Google docs, but the Mac version is a bit slicker and a little nicer to look at. I only say that for if you're using Windows, because if so my screencaps below won't exactly match what you see if/when you download the program.

ONWARD.

So, the #1 thing that Scrivener has over Word is that it's a one time fee, not a subscription. So while it is a little pricey (Just went and looked, $59.99 USD), it's only the one payment. All updates and such are covered and available as free downloads. I will also say that Scrivener gives you a 30 day free trial. That's not 30 consecutive days, but 30 days of use--if you only use it every other day, you'll have the trial for 60 days. They make it really easy to figure out if it's for you or not.

This is also going to feel like a lot, but there are built in tutorials and it's actually pretty intuitive, depending on how your brain works. Anyway! The basic gist of Scrivener is that it's a digital binder. You can keep all your book stuff in one place:

As you can see, there's the manuscript (aka my book), notes, research, more. Tbh, I mostly just use notes and Manuscript, but if it floats your boat, you can store maps, place names, worldbuilding, playlist links, moodboards, a whole ton of stuff, all in one menu that's easy to access and in a single window. You can organize it however itches your brain the best way.

But like I said, for me, the best is that Manuscript part, which I'm going to go into now. I use a three act structure for books (but break the big ol' middle act into two pieces because it makes my brain happy), so each act gets a folder.

When I click and expand that act, each chapter has it's own folder. However, it also shows quick-reference index cards, so I can have an at-a-glance at what's going down in each chapter. (I'm using a outline system called Save the Cat for this book, which is why all my chapters have titles like 'Catalyst', feel free to ignore those...I also have a very compact timeline, so to help me stay organized, I labeled each chapter with when it happens.)

You can do the same with each individual chapter and the scenes, where when you click on the chapter folder, each scene gets a card. If you don't type in a summary, it'll just auto-populate the start of whatever content you were writing. You can see this in the 'Copper's Candids NEW' card.

And, of course, it is writing software. When you click on the individual scene, it opens the blank document, and you can get cracking.

So. This system is nice for a few reasons. My favorite is that it makes navigating, reorganizing, and/or rewriting scenes extremely easy. It's just point and click, drag and drop. You can also open two docs in the same window at once, like this:

Which is a nice feature for several reasons--you can work on a new version of a scene with the old one pulled up next to it, or if there's something you wrote earlier or that comes later that's important to what you're working on now, you can have them both up for quick referencing.

Another slick thing is each doc has a notes section off to the right side of the screen--which is optional! I use it for future revision notes/descriptions of how I want the scene to go:

My other favorite part of Scrivener is that it makes it very easy to hoard your deleted scenes like a deranged dragon in case you want them later. My garbage looks like this:

There are SO MANY FILES hanging out in my trash, and you know what? I so rarely actually need them, but my god am I glad they're there on the rare occasion that I do. Word, again, can make it more difficult. I always had a massive 'cut' document that was longer than the actual project and again, awful to navigate. This just makes it easier.

Scrivener also makes it easy to compile the manuscript into other doc types--pdf, doc, docx, etc--for easy printing and sharing.

ANYWAY. I'm sure there are approximately 1 million other things I'm missing, but basically Scrivener takes all your book/long project bits, puts them in one centralized file, and makes it super easy to navigate. I've also found that outlining is easier, because I can just make the folders and scenes and drag them around while I noodle through the plot.

10/10, would recommend to any long-form writer. If you have any other questions, please let me know! If anyone has read this far and has a thing about Scrivener to add, please do! I love Scrivener, and a lot of my writing buddies love Scrivener, and it really kinda has revolutionized the way I write original fiction. I'm always happy to yell about how great it is.

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 39

You, Joel and Ellie find a familiar face. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-38 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Allusion to SA (not described.) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 4.5k

“Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?” 

Ellie was walking backwards, her small hands looped through the straps of her backpack, looking very pleased with herself. 

“Please no,” Joel sighed. 

“I don’t know,” you smiled. “Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?” 

“Because then it would be a foot!” 

Joel groaned, you laughed, Ellie damn near cackled. 

“Surprised you even know how many inches are in a foot after goin’ through FEDRA school,” Joel muttered, but he smiled a bit. 

“Hey!” You said. “I resent that!” 

“Yeah, Doc, we all know you were the only teacher there who gave a shit,” Ellie smirked. “You’re the only reason any of us know there are 12 inches in a foot.” 

“Good thing you were my favorite student or you still wouldn’t know,” you teased. “I kept that information pretty close to the chest…” 

You thought you were getting close to the radio tower. Or at least, where you thought the radio tower was, anyway. It was pretty hard to tell. 

You hadn’t been on a road in a while, just walking in the general direction you needed to go. There hadn’t been another person since you’d had to stabbed a raider in the leg and Joel had killed him. 

The thought still made your stomach turn. You’d stabbed multiple people now. Not that you’d had much choice in the matter - one was trying to choke you to death, the other made it clear that he wasn’t going to let you pass without what he saw as fair payment. It certainly hadn’t been payment you wanted to give and it definitely wasn’t something Joel would have allowed. And who knows if it would have stopped with you. With Ellie there, you couldn’t risk it. The men had to die. You just hated being a part of it. 

But Ellie made it worthwhile. Killing for her, you could justify that. You could justify a lot for that kid. The next night, when you’d found a place to camp and Joel had gone to gather firewood while you and Ellie got things set for the night, she stood beside you, staring at your feet. 

“What’s up, Gremlin?” You asked as you set out your sleeping bag. 

“Yesterday,” she said, pausing for a moment. 

“What about it?” You asked when she didn’t continue, trying to sound normal even though your stomach was clenched tight. 

“I didn’t really get the pill thing until yesterday,” she glanced up at you before looking back at your feet. “And… Well thanks. For getting them for me and making sure I haven’t needed them…” 

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” you brushed her hair back, your thumb against her temple. “But we’re going to do everything we can to make sure you never need them. OK?” 

“OK,” she turned to go back to her pack before turning to you again. “Something like that happened to you before, didn’t it?” 

You looked at her for a moment. 

“That’s not something you need to worry about,” you said, going into your bag for jerky. She frowned. “I mean it. That’s not what needs to be on your mind. OK?” 

She looked at you a second longer before nodding once, going back to her own pack. 

She didn’t talk about it again.

“That’s OK, Doc,” Ellie said, turning around and facing forward again. You caught a glimpse of her smug smile as she did. “It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope. It will always be stationary.” 

You laughed and Joel groaned before stopping, frowning at something on the horizon. You tried to follow where he was looking. 

“Is that…” You frowned, too. 

“Smoke,” he finished for you. “We head that way, see if we can’t find someone who knows where the fuck we are.” He looked to you and Ellie. “You two are gonna hang back until I figure out who we’re dealin’ with. Got it?” 

“Ugh, you never let me do anything fun,” Ellie sighed dramatically, throwing her head back to look at the sky. 

“Let you say all the puns you want,” Joel replied. “Haven’t strangled you yet, seems like enough fun to me…” 

“That is pretty fun,” she agreed. Joel adjusted your path and you and Ellie followed him. 

“Hey Joel?” Ellie asked. “Why did the scarecrow get an award?” 

Joel sighed. She leaned toward him eagerly, waiting for him to give in. 

“Because he was outstanding in his field?” Joel asked wryly. 

Ellie gaped at him. 

“Are you shitting me!” She ran around to the front of him and started walking backwards again. “Did you read the book? How did you know that?” 

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, walkin’ like that,” he smiled a little as he said it, voice gruff. 

“Such a dick,” Ellie muttered, going to walk next to you, shaking her head and smiling as she did. 

The smoke was coming from a small cabin, all on its own. Joel drew his pistol, putting his arm out as you approached, not letting you leave the tree line.  

“Stay out here,” he ordered, looking at both of you. “I mean it.” 

“Fine,” Ellie sighed. “You get to do all the cool stuff….” 

Joel just shook his head, ignoring her, before heading down to the cabin. 

You were happy to obey for a while, until you saw a man approaching the cabin with an animal carcass over one shoulder and a gun over the other. 

“Shit,” you said, glancing at Ellie, who had nestled herself into some tree roots with a comic book from her pack. “If I tell you that you have to stay here, will you actually stay here?” 

“No,” she closed the comic and stood up, getting her pack on. 

You sighed. 

“Of course not. Alright,” you said. “Let’s go.” 

You crept down the hill to the cabin and peered in through a window to see Joel, talking to an older couple. His gun was drawn. You rolled your eyes. Because of course he has them at gun point. You fell back. 

“He’s fine,” you whispered, nudging Ellie back toward the fence. 

“Aw man!” She said. “Let’s just go inside…” 

“No.” 

You started back toward the fence but she ducked around you and threw open the door. 

“Ellie!” You followed behind her, Joel glaring at the both of you as you burst into the small living space. “Hi.” 

“Told you to wait outside,” he growled. 

“Didn’t want to leave you outnumbered,” Ellie said, standing up straight, chin high. “In case one of these fuckers tried something.”

“Ho-ly,” the man laughed. “Didn’t know you were traveling with a little firecracker. With these two, you really just want to go back east. Don’t want to risk it.” 

“Don’t want to risk what?” She asked. 

“Ellie,” Joel shot her a look. 

“The folks on the other side of the river,” the man said. “Haven’t met them, just seen what they leave behind. It’s nothing good.” 

You frowned, glancing at Joel. He looked almost sick. 

“They might just be protecting something,” you said, looking at him. “Think about it, about Tommy…” 

“Go that way and you won’t come back,” the man said. 

“You can’t scare us,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “We’ve been through worse than whatever’s out there…” 

“Scared him plenty,” the man nodded at Joel.

“Let’s go,” Joel said, heading for the door and stomping out into the snow. You watched him leave for a second. 

“I’m sorry for…” you looked at the door again and back to the couple. “All of that. He’s… we’ve been on the road a bit. He’s stressed.” 

“Don’t go past the river,” the man said. “Or stressed will be the least of your problems.” 

You followed Joel out of the house, pulling Ellie along behind you, only to find him holding onto a fence post outside. You frowned, slipping a hand up his back. He startled for a second. 

“Woah,” Ellie, frowned, coming up the other side of him. “Are you having a heart attack? You can’t die on us, Joel, because we’re not going to make it across the river of fucking death if you’re dead…” 

You pulled a glove off and pressed your fingers to the base of his neck, taking his pulse. 

“I’m fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “Just shock of the cold air….” 

You looked him over for a moment. 

“Real quick, Joel,” you said, fingers still at his pulse point. “Tell me the textures of five things you can see…” He looked at you like you were insane. “Come on, textures, five things.” 

He winced for a second before looking out at the snow, taking a shaky breath.

“Snow is wet,” he muttered. “Fence is rough. You’re soft…” 

His heart rate was easing. 

“Give me two more,” you said, glancing around. “That deer skin there, what about it?” 

“That’s coarse,” he said standing up a little straighter. 

“Ellie’s boots?” You asked. He looked down at the rubber coated snow boots. 

“Smooth,” he said. 

Your fingers were still on his pulse point. It has eased quite a bit. 

“Good,” you took your fingers away.

“So he’s not having a fucking heart attack?” Ellie asked. 

“Nope,” you replied. “No heart attack.” 

“Thank fuck,” Ellie muttered, starting up the hill. “Because still have to get through the river of fucking death and hope that we don’t end up as some of the death.” 

*** 

Joel wasn’t sure what the fuck made him feel like he was about to drop dead but he was ready to make sure he never felt it again. 

He let Ellie get a bit ahead of them before he looked at you, walking beside him. 

“What…” he paused, not liking that he needed to ask you questions like this. “What was that?” 

“That was a panic attack,” you replied. 

“Jesus,” He muttered. “Felt like I was fuckin’ dying…” 

“Yeah, they do that,” you replied. 

He glanced down at you before looking forward again. 

“They feel like that for you?” He asked. 

“Pretty much,” you shrugged. “You came down from it pretty quick, which is good. I can teach you some ways to pull yourself out of them.” 

“They work?” He asked. 

You shrugged again. 

“Usually,” you said. “I haven’t had a bad one in a while.” 

He nodded slowly. 

“It’ll be OK, Joel,” you said, your hand on his back, grounding him. “It’ll be OK.” 

He tried not to think about it. About the way his head had decided to just cripple him. He hadn’t been able to fucking move, hadn’t been able to fucking think. What if someone tried to attack you then? If the man inside had decided to start shooting? What if it happened when there were infected or raiders or even just a goddamn bear? You’d be stuck trying to protect him and Ellie. He’d get you killed. He’d get you all fucking killed. 

His chest got tight. 

“Getting late,” he said as the three of you came up on a vantage point, looking down at the valley below. “Should wait for tomorrow to cross, make sure we have light.” 

There were caves not far from the river - ones that, thankfully, didn’t look to be regularly visited by people. Something Joel was on the lookout for even more now after the cabin. 

“Have to set watches tonight,” his jaw was set. “Especially with a fire…” 

“I’ll take first,” you said. He went to argue but you cut him off. “Joel, trust me. I’ll take first.” 

He nodded, looking back into the fire, trying not to think about the fact that you were trying to protect him when he should be protecting you. 

“So,” Ellie said, her arms looped around her knees. “We’re getting close to where we think these firefly guys are…” She looked between the two of you for a moment. “What do we do after that? You know, once they take all my blood and do whatever shit Doc is going to make them do with it. Then what?” 

Joel looked at you for a moment. You shrugged. 

“I’ll probably be stuck with them for a bit,” you said. “Helping to do research, see if what I learned so far is applicable to anything with your blood…” 

“OK but if you don’t have to do that,” Ellie said. “What would you want to do?” 

“I don’t know,” you frowned a little. “I haven’t thought about life that way in… well 20 years, at least. If the sky was the limit, I always wanted to live in France…” 

“Don’t they speak fucking French in France?” Ellie frowned. 

“Oui,” you smiled. “Et je parle Français aussi.” 

“Oh shit,” Ellie nodded. “Look at Doc!” 

“Pretty moot point now,” you shrugged. “Can’t exactly make it to Paris. And not a lot of French speakers here, so it ended up being a pretty useless skill but… I like to think there’s a version of me out there in the universe who’s drinking coffee at a cafe in France right now.” 

“Well there’s that Eiffel Tower in Vegas that’s probably still standing,” Joel shrugged. “Could head there.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Something tells me it lacks the allure that it had before the world ended.” 

“What about you?” Ellie looked to Joel. 

“I’m goin’ wherever she’s goin’,” he shrugged. 

“Ugh, that’s so lame,” Ellie rolled her eyes. You smiled. He shrugged again. “OK if she’s going wherever you’re going, where are you going?” 

Joel sighed, thinking for a moment. 

Like you, he hadn’t thought about life this way in years. Even longer than 20 years. He’d put all his wants and needs on the back burner some 33 years ago and what he wanted then was very different than what he wanted now. After 20 years of hell, he just wanted peace. Quiet. Something to call his own. 

“Probably a farm,” he shrugged. “Some land somewhere. Some place no one is going to bother me.” 

“Farming what?” She asked. 

He sighed. 

“I don’t know, never thought about it.” 

She kept looking at him, expecting an answer. He sighed again. 

“Sheep.” 

“Sheep?” She giggled. 

“Sheep,” he replied. “They’re quiet. Don’t say bad puns all the time…” 

“You love my puns,” she smirked. 

“What about you?” You asked. “I mean obviously I’m just going to drag you along with me wherever I go until you’re old enough to fight me off but…” 

Ellie smiled at that. 

“Anywhere?” She asked. You nodded. “I’d go up.” 

You smiled and nodded but Joel frowned. 

“Up.” 

“Up,” Ellie repeated. He raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t have many other places to want to go from inside the QZ, it was all walls and water and it’s not like I got to see anywhere else so I just looked up. It’s why I got to know Doc, I read everything in the school library and it wasn’t enough and my friend… She told me to see Doc about it, said she’d find stuff for me.” 

“Did she?” Joel looked at you. You were looking at your lap, embarrassed, but smiling a little. 

“Oh yeah,” Ellie smiled. “I read about fucking everything. There’s a probe that’s out past Pluto now, did you know that? We sent something outside of the fucking solar system. It’s probably still trying to send signals back to NASA because it’s a billion miles away and doesn’t know about fucking infected. 

“But the astronauts were the best. People who left the planet? So fucking cool. They were all fucking cool but know who the best one was?” 

“Sally Ride?” Joel smiled a little. 

“Sally fuckin’ Ride,” Ellie nodded. “Coolest astronaut name ever. So yeah. I just… I’ll go up.” 

Joel looked up at the stars as he tried to settle enough to sleep, trying not to think of you keeping watch, looking out for him because he needed protection. Because he seemed bound and fucking determined to find new ways to fail you. 

It was daylight when he woke up, you asleep at his side, Ellie standing with the gun. He shot up. 

“I insisted,” she smiled, a little proud. “Woke up right when Doc was about to get you up and talked her into it.” 

“Should have let her,” he growled. “You can’t just…” 

“Oh but I did,” she said. “And no one died. Look at that.” 

He ground his teeth. 

The three of you made it over the river without incident, Ellie thoroughly unimpressed with the “river of death.” 

“Haven’t seen any people,” she said. “Not even an infected to try to use for target practice. It’s kind of a let down, I was expecting better…” 

“You’re going to jinx us, Gremlin,” you warned. 

“Jinx sminx,” she said cheerfully. 

The walk was almost too easy. It set Joel on edge, his eyes constantly scanning the horizon and watching for the inevitable. It couldn’t be this fucking easy. 

“You know, I was stayed up all night wondering where the sun went,” Ellie said. “And then it dawned on me.” 

You laughed and Joel sighed. You smiled at him and he couldn’t help but smile a little back. When you were happy, it seemed to spill out of you and he wanted to devour it. He wasn’t sure how to get there on his own anymore, he couldn’t remember the last time he was happy on his own. But you were there. You could guide him to it, surround him in it, crack him open so he could soak it up. That was the way of you.

“Dam,” Ellie smirked a little, standing and looking down at the water below. 

Joel smiled a little. 

“You’re no Will Livingston,” he said. 

“Well who is?” She replied. “So that made electricity?” 

“Yeah,” he said. She opened her mouth and he cut her off. “Ask the science teacher, kid, not me.” 

“OK Doc,” she said. “Science for us!” 

You laughed a little. 

“Basically, water moves through the dam and pushes a turbine that generates energy,” you said. “But I’d like to remind you both that I’m a biologist, not a physicist. You want me putting your organs back in your body, not making a building.” 

“Or running a dam?” Ellie teased. 

“Or running a dam,” you replied before you frowned. “It looks like it’s in really good shape, though. I’m surprised it held up that well, especially with the temperature swings you get in this part of the country… It looks like it’s still running…” 

Your frown deepened, stepping closer to the edge of the overlook the three of you were standing on. Joel reached out and took your wrist, instinctively holding you back. 

“How would it still be running,” you said, almost to yourself. 

“Guys?” Ellie said. “What if this is the river of death?” 

You looked at Joel. 

“We should move,” he said. 

You didn’t make it far. 

He heard them before he saw them, about a dozen riders on horseback, cresting a hill and running for you. 

“Behind me!” Joel grabbed you and Ellie, putting you both behind him, looking over his shoulder. You were behind Ellie, your back against hers as the riders circled you, your arms looped through hers. Joel’s hands went up. 

“Joel,” you looked back at him. Your eyes were wide. 

“I’ll talk,” he said. “Just stay back…” 

You were fully circled now. But no one was shooting yet. No one was even pointing a gun at you yet. A good enough sign. 

“Ain’t lookin’ for trouble,” Joel said. “Just passin’ through, headed west…” 

“Drop the gun,” one of the riders ordered. “Anything the girls are carryin’ too.” 

Joel looked back at you and gave you a nod. You took your gun from its holster and dropped it on the ground, keeping your arms back around Ellie as much as you could. Joel slid the rifle from over his arm and put it down. 

“You two,” the man who spoke before said. “The girls. Take five steps back, in opposite directions…” 

Joel looked back to you and you looked at him before you crossed to his right, Ellie to his left. Your hands were up and you glanced his way, eyes wide and pleading. He knew what you wanted to do. He gave you a look, one that he was sure you were about to fucking ignore.

“We can talk this through,” Joel began. 

“No, we can’t,” the man snapped. 

“Yes we can,” you said quickly. Joel groaned. Of course you were going to fucking ignore him. “I’m a doctor, I have some medications with me. I can provide medical care for you or any of your people…” 

“Won’t do us any good if you’re infected, will it?” The man said. “Been near any infected?” 

“Ain’t any out here,” Joel said. 

“The hell there ain’t,” the man replied before whistling. A dog - big, at least part German Shepherd by the looks of it - came forward. “You’re infected? He’ll smell it. Rip you to pieces. Last chance to go with some dignity.” 

Joel looked to Ellie. Her eyes were wide. The man whistled again.

The dog went for him first, smelling him and moving on to you. You were looking at him, panic in your eyes. You didn’t know what the fuck to do either. Joel tried to think, come up with some kind of plan, something to at least get you and Ellie out of there in one piece. If he could get to the gun he could maybe shoot the dog but that’d likely just get all three of you killed. He could try taking down as many of the riders as possible while the two of you ran for it but there was no way in hell you could out run people on horseback. 

The dog was satisfied with you and trotted to Ellie. He was out of time. His heart was pounding, his stomach in knots and he could only watch as… the dog started licking Ellie. She giggled and got down on the ground with it, scratching behind its ears. 

“Hi there!” She let it lick her face. Joel looked at you and saw you relax. 

“So what the fuck is a doctor doing all the way out here?” The man snapped. 

“Lookin’ for my brother,” Joel said. “That’s all.” 

“I’m happy to take a look at anyone who needs it,” you said, glancing at Joel again. “Then we will move on, we don’t want any trouble, we’re just looking for his brother.” 

A woman came forward, her eyes narrowed at Joel over the handkerchief covering most of her face. 

“What’s your name?” She asked, voice sharp. 

He looked at you before he answered.

“Joel.” 

***

��Why’s Joel get his own horse?” Ellie muttered. 

“Because you’ve never ridden a horse,” you replied. 

“Can’t be that hard,” she said. 

You smiled. 

“Just sit tight,” you said. “I think we’re almost there.” 

There was a wall, looming on the horizon and it seemed like you were being led right for it. 

The woman hadn’t given you much of any context but you were trying to not get your hopes up. You hoped she reacted that way because she knew Tommy and that Tommy had talked about Joel. They looked enough alike, Joel was an unusual enough name, that might be all it took to get her to want to bring you into town. 

You hoped that meant he was still alive. 

You weren’t sure what to do about Tommy if he was there. Your mind had been plenty happy to not really think about it, putting it off until it would actually be an issue. 

Tommy had been one of your best friends before he left. He was the person you were closest to outside of Andrew and Jess. But he’d set a bomb. He’d killed dozens of people. He’d almost killed you. 

But it was Tommy. 

And that was before considering the fact that, the last time you’d seen Tommy you’d been sleeping with him and now you were back together with Joel.

“Think they know Tommy?” Ellie asked quietly. 

“Not sure,” you replied. 

“Do you think Joel will be OK if they don’t?” She looked back at you over her shoulder from her place tucked against your torso. You gave her a little squeeze with your arms, keeping your grip on the reins. 

“We’ll make sure he is,” you said. 

The front gate loomed and creaked open as you approached, at least 25 feet tall. Whatever this was, it was well protected. 

Behind the gates was a small western town. It was almost painfully charming, small storefronts with front porches, no building taller than two stories. But the strangest thing about it was the fact that there was no sign of decay, no indication of a looming power ready to crack down and  crush the life out of everything. You nudged your horse along side Joel’s now that you were safely within the walls of the town. 

“You OK?” You asked. He just gave you a nod, searching the town as you rode through it, eyes never stopping. 

You knew the second Joel did that Tommy was here. You didn’t see him, you just saw Joel. The way his eyes went wide, the way his face softened, the way a tension left his body. 

“Tommy!” He yelled, raising an arm, flagging him down. You followed his gaze and saw him, clambering down from some structure he was building. Joel jumped from his horse and ran, meeting him in the middle, both men holding each other tight. 

For half a second, the worries you had about what to do if you saw Tommy again were gone. It was Tommy. You wouldn’t ever be OK with what he did. You’d have to talk to him about it at some point but it was Tommy. Tommy, the guy who taught you how to light a grill. Tommy, the guy who made you laugh so hard that you shot Shiner out of your nose. Tommy, the man who had made it so you felt like you could do more than just survive without Joel. 

“Want to come with or stick with the horse?” You asked Ellie. 

“Think I’ll keep out of the family reunion,” she said, sounding a little wounded.

“I’ll be right back,” you said. “OK?” 

She nodded and you dismounted, coming up alongside Joel just as the two men broke apart. 

“Holy shit, Kid!” Tommy grabbed you and hugged you next, holding you close and tight. He still felt the same, even after years apart, he still felt like Tommy. 

“Hey Miller,” you laughed, choking up a bit. “You sure are a hard man to find.” 

“Yeah well, that’s kind of on purpose,” he laughed, releasing you. You stepped back and Joel put his arm around your waist. Tommy looked between you for a moment and smiled. “So you two finally got your shit together, eh?” 

“Somethin’ like that,” Joel smiled, tugging you close. 

“Took you long enough,” Tommy shook his head a little, smiling at Joel. “About fuckin’ time.” 

A/N: TOMMY'S BACK! Yayayayayayayayayaya!

I'm excited to dive into some of these family dynamics in Jackson for the short time we're here - and dig into Joel and his growing anxieties.

Now that we're back into canon, please let me know how you're feeling about how canon integration is feeling (if you want to obvs, no pressure!) It's still an area I feel shaky on so notes are welcome :)

I have a taglist! If you'd like to be added, please comment below.

Thank you for reading! I hope you're still enjoying it as we come in on the tail end of the story here. I'm really excited for how things are going to go now that we're into this part of the canon and how it builds to the end of the story. Thanks for being here, for reading, for sharing, for commenting, for everything. Love you!

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sloanexx @ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings @arizonadaydreamer @mumma-moonchild @blackroseguzzi @candypeaches16 @kittenlittle24 @wrappedinfiction @oatmeaiboy @pedritosdarling @winchestergypsy90 @imnotdatboii @lalalalemonade11 @maknimuk1 @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @pedrosaidsheispunk @commanderawkward @n7cje @elliesgirlll @tsunamistorm123 @spookyxsam @leeeesahhh @anoverwhelmingdin @untamedheart81 @pedropascalfan221 @pedr0swh0r3 @pedrobae @fifia-writes @fatima-marisa @acf2023 @1soff

[rosze-v]

green cloak and green stones

pairing: Baizhu x Reader

synopsis: The story of a green cloaked adventurer, Doctor Baizhu and your disappearance (Based on this ask!)

tags: NOT PROOF READ, ANGST, visionless reader, mentions of wounds but its not explicit, death!, unrequited love (I'm not sure what else to tag but if there’s anything please let me know)

w.c : 2.7k

a/n: Halu!! First of all, I AM SO SORRY FOR POSTING THIS LATE!! I was so busy and I’m only getting busier cause guess what? YOUR GIRL IS PURSUING HER DEGREE OMG ASDHASKDJAHSKASKJ I AM SO HAPPY! I JUST GOT THE NEWS TODAY! Anyways, this is very angsty and my first ask ever!! I tried my best to make it good so I hope my first anon loves it! All in all, enjoy and thank you for all who love my writing, I am nothing with your love.

You are an amazing adventurer— visionless, but amazing nonetheless. Others had said (your people from Sumeru), that being a visionless adventurer is like a knight without its swords, but you have proven them wrong. You cultivated multiple skills, be it in the swords, in using polearms or any weapon it is, you had also cultivated your adventuring skills such as navigation and mapping; the skills under your belt are enough to pick up top tier commissions without any hassle.

Of course, being visionless means you’re more prone to injuries, so you have to always make do with passing doctors or medicine you produce yourself using wild herbs, yet nothing beats Baizhu’s medicines. You could still remember the day you first went to his pharmacy; it was raining, you had asked the locals if there’s any place that will tend to injuries and they directed you to Bubu Pharmacy.

Once you reached the Pharmacy, you could see a little kid behind the counter and almost cursed the locals for lying but then a green haired man, with a rare white snake around his neck, emerges from the back.

“I'm sorry but we’re close dear customer, you can come over tomo—”. Baizhu took in your haggard appearance, your green cloak clung to you; the rain drops below your feet mix with red and your alarming paleness were enough to make Baizhu ran over towards you, when your knees caved in.

Next thing you knew, you’re staring at an unfamiliar ceiling and you could feel bandages wrapped around your stomach, directly below your left ribcage where you were stabbed.

“Do you want coconut milk?”.  Your eyes snapped to the pale child beside you, her eyes expressionless. You were going to ask her what’s coconut milk when the man from before came in with a pitcher.

“How are you feeling?”. You draped the blanket over you, as you sit up. You shrugged your body, trying to get a feel and as you were doing so, the doctor examines you briefly. When you realize that your body feels much better you gave him your biggest grin and a thumbs up.

“Feels great doc!”.

Then ever since, you had decided to stay in Liyue. Of course, your reasoning was mostly on how rich, historically and, literally Liyue is but you can’t possibly admit that you stayed because of the quiet and handsome doctor. You made sure to visit Bubu Pharmacy every single time you have any injuries or illnesses and over time, you realized that you had caught feelings over Baizhu. He was gentle and you were obnoxious both in your volume and your incessant flirting, it was obvious that you like the doctor.

“Baizhu? Are you here?”. You walked into the pharmacy, and there you could see him sitting beside Qiqi, instructing her on how to make the medicine. The dendro vision holder looks up at figure clad in a green cloak he knows very well and gives you a smile, his eyes crescent.

“Welcome back”. Hearing those words, some of the fatigue straining your body were lifted as you approach the counter.

“Where are you hurt again (y/n)?”. He asked, standing up and leading you to the room at the back for his patients. You pat Qiqi’s head before dragging yourself to the room, where Baizhu sat on a chair by the bed. You sat down, taking off your cloak and show him your wounds, though they’re not huge and gnarly, you have multiple cuts and slashes on your arms and legs. You let Baizhu tends to you while you tell  him stories of your adventures. Every single time, Baizhu would listen, at times he would ask questions or look at you in disbelief because how the hell did you get caught in such situations, but most of the time he would listen quietly.

He enjoys listening to you, your presence brought him joy and serenity but he could never tell you. Not with the illness he has, he can’t let himself like someone to much or even fall in love.

But, you were so… loveable. Your flirtations were constant but you were never scared to show him how much you love him. He was also amazed at the fact that you’re vision less yet you’re so fearless, unlike him. That’s part of you that he envies so much, because unlike him, shackled by an illness, incurable and unknown, you’re so free and filled with life.

Once he’s done with his treatment, you rummage through your bag and took out a white string decorated with various colors of green stones. You hand it to Baizhu and he examined it, trying to understand what is it.

“Its for your hair”. You said, as he stared at it, the stones were beautiful and it glimmers under the light. It’s too beautiful for him but he knew that rejecting your gift would be useless. All the gifts and letters from when you remembered him on your journey were kept safe in a box. He smiled and thank you for your gift, making a mental note to keep the hair tie in the box later. 

“Can I tie it for you?”. You whispered, a blush staining your cheeks as you gaze at him with those eyes filled with adoration. A pang of guilt reaches his heart when his mouth almost utter rejection. Its not that he dislikes your gifts, he was just afraid that the feelings he kept safe in his own box would burst open. He nodded and smile, as you give him a grin, and gently reaches towards his braid.

With a slightly shaky hand, you reach towards the end of his braid, unconsciously rubbing his hair between your fingers. You untie the one on his hair and with skillful hands, you tie the beautiful gems around his hair. Once you’re done, you show it to him and Baizhu took the end of his hair into his hands and inspects your work. His green hair compliments the stones well and he thank you. Feeling the heavy tension in the air, you jokingly asked him out for dinner in which he, time and time again rejects you. Telling you that there’s a policy he has to follow as a doctor, and you only laugh and nodded, though deep in your heart, you understand the ‘policy’ were merely sweet words.

Then you were off to your next adventurer.

It was another rainy day, and you were back from your adventure. It has been two weeks since you last seen him and you missed him so much. Once you reach the pharmacy, there was a heaviness in the air, as if telling you to be careful. From the counter you could see, Qiqi, reading on her little book, the notebook you gave her the last time you were there. You smiled as you ask.

“Where’s the doc?”. The pale child points to the back and you give her a pat as a thank you. You went in and there Baizhu was organising his medicine, you cough, indicating your presence as his head whips towards you. You give him a huge smile, and usually he would give you his but this time, he nodded curtly. Your heart stinged at his cold welcome but shrug the thought off.

“Please sit down on the bed”. Something is amiss because Baizhu would usually say “welcome back” but here he is, tending to your wounds silently, a somber look on his face. You tried making jokes but he only nodded while focusing on his work. For the first time, the patient’s room were silent and you could only stare at him when you noticed that he was not wearing the hair tie you gave him.

A sharp pain reaches your heart but you shook your head, trying to make excuses. Once he was finish, you thank him as he mutters a no problem. You palm the smooth gem in your pocket, wondering if it’s the right timing to give it to him. The thing is, you have to give him because you are going for a very long journey, a journey for him.

“Hey Baizhu, are you free after this? Let’s go have dinner together yeah?”. Baizhu stares at your smiling face and shook his head.

“Sorry (y/n), I can’t go. I have something to do”.

“Aww come on!”. You approach him, pulling at his forearm. “We haven’t eaten together for so long! Besides there’s something I wanna gi—”.

“Just stop”. Baizhu pulls his arm from you, trying to walk away. It has been a long day, rude customers and his painful illness has been consistently attacking him throughout the day. He can’t afford to flirt and entertain you right now.

“I’m sorry Baizhu if I was too forceful, but the thing is I have to g—”.

“Stop it! I told you I have something to do!” Baizhu raises his voice as you step back, shocked by his sudden anger. You were going to apologise when he turns around, face red and filled with anger.

“I am so tired of you! Your incessant flirtings are so distracting and I… I can’t afford to be distracted!”. He clutched his chest, hissing as he continues.

“Why can’t you just stop? I have an illness to cure and you’re just…”. Baizhu sighs, trying to control his emotions and keeping his anger at bay. He knew, that you don’t deserve to be the one receiving his anger but everything is too much.

And you? Your head hung low, lips trembling as your nails dug into your palms. You took in a deep breath and look up, meeting his eyes as you give him a forced smile.

“I understand Baizhu.. I’m sorry again”. You whisper as you walk past him, and out of the room. Baizhu could only see your green robe flutter away as he curse at himself. Baizhu’s hand reaches his head, and fisted his hair, frustrated at the turns of event. He needs to apologise, he thought.

So he quickly get out of the room, trying to reach you again but as he passes the counter, he saw a stone. A green stone, he recognizes as aventurine. He knew instantly that it’s from you and guilt swarmed him all over. The meaning of the stone sinks into him, along with the relationship he denied ever since.

---

Months had pass since your disappearance, and his remorse had attached to his heart like a lock. On the second month, he knew that something was wrong. You never took this long and even if you do, he would have receive a letter. No letters came, days and night waiting for your letter, for your fluttering green cloak; yet nothing came and after the third month, he decided that this time; he’s going to find you, apologise, bring you out for dinner and continue the routine the both of you once had, between a patient and a doctor.

So Baizhu set out for Sumeru, your hometown. Once he reaches Sumeru it was already night, and he believe that nothing good will come from rushing, so he check into a place to stay. When the morning comes, he asks one of the local for a place to have some coffee, and the local suggested Puspa Café.

The aroma of coffee reaches his nose when he opens the door to the café. He looks around, trying to find a place to seat when he saw a familiar robe. His heart beat increases, excitement and relief pumps through his vein. Without much thought, he reaches towards the robed figure sitting down and places a hand, startling the figure.

“(y/n)?...”. The figure turns around and its not you. “Sorry, I thought…”

“Doctor Baizhu?”.  Baizhu’s face changes into confusion, wondering how someone from Sumeru would know his name. He nodded, when the robed person, a lady in her teenage years smiles and offers him to sit.

“I know you! Master (y/n) talked about you all the time; I thought my ears would fall off. How are you, Doctor Baizhu?”.  

“I…I am doing fine. I’m sorry but Master (y/n)? are you…”

“Yes, I’m Master (y/n) apprentice! Thank you for always tending to my master’s injuries. Master told me that you’re an amazing doctor and—”.

“I am sorry for interrupting but do you know where (y/n) is? It has been months…”. The girls face turns into sadness, the light she had, dimmed when she realize that Baizhu didn’t know. She stood up, confusing Baizhu who’s follows her movement.

“Come.” Baizhu in his confusion, follows despite his instinct telling him to stop. An instinct that he’s going to get hurt.

The girl lead him to a place where vast field of greenery feasts along his eyes, a single tree stood around it and a small house a bit faraway from it.

“Go to that tree, I’ll come with you soon, I need to get something”.

Baizhu nods in understanding as he walks towards the tree. He didn’t see it at first; the tombstone was covered by the tree.

May the shade bring serenity and peace for the brave soul beneath it, (y/n)

Baizhu read the etchings on the stone over and over again. Trying to understand what was etched and his brain had accepted it, but his heart can’t seem to fathom the thought that, that’s your name written there. That under this tree is you, that the (y/n), his (y/n) is gone. He had to held onto the tree, sliding down as his trembling hands reaches for your tomb stone.

“Master left you this”. The girl said, as she gives Baizhu a brown box and left him to look into the contents of it. Baizhu holds the box, somehow heavy despite the contents only being a piece of letter and an unfinished bracelet, one aventurine missing from it. Baizhu could feel his chest tightening, as he opens the letter.

To my most, dearest Baizhu,

If you received this letter then that must mean that I’m gone. Now, now don’t you cry your handsome face off! Only smiles and laughter should pass those lips. I’m sorry for not coming back to the pharmacy for so long, I was in search for these aventurines. You see, a friend of mine told me that these stones have healing properties and I thought that it would be great for you! Though you’re a doctor, I’ve seen how frail your body is and well… I’m not a doctor so I can’t create a potion for it but I’m an adventurer! Please wear them and I pray that these stones can ease your pain, albeit a little. Baizhu…may I call you my love here? It doesn’t matter anyways; I'm dying so I will. Baizhu, my love, you held my heart in your palms ever since you wrapped those bandages on my body. I’m sorry for all my doings that annoys or disturbs you, it was not my intention love. I am so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you all this in person but I am a coward and my body is not strong enough to travel back to Liyue, but please. Please Baizhu, don’t you dare blame yourself, you have been a light, a love though unrequited but a love I received through your soft touches and tender words. So please, live a long, healthy life for me and continue helping others. The letter has gotten too long, I’ll wrap it up here. Thank you Baizhu, I love you. I love you. I love you.

P/s: Pat Qiqi’s head for me!

Baizhu held the letter to his chest, his tears had long wash over his face from the beginning of the letter. You’re gone. You’re gone and you had loved him, and he knew but you… you never knew the love he held for you. He loves you too and he could only whisper to the tree of his love for you.

“(y/n), oh my (y/n) … I’m sorry…”. He wailed into the wind, the pain of your death triumph the pain raging through his fatigued body. In his tears, with a trembling hand he attaches the last aventurine onto the bracelet as he ties it on his left wrist.

And it was instant, the stone glow, and the pain he felt in his body dissipates, and he knew, that it worked, that though he can’t understand, but he knew its more than the stone. This final gift of yours were filled with so much love, it healed. He stares at your tombstone; a small smile grows on his face.

Yet why does the pain in his heart stays? And why is it growing? That will be a question that lingers along with him in life.

[juney-blues]

ever since i made THIS POST a lot of people have been asking for a tutorial, even though in pretty much all of the screenshots i included the specific part of inspect element showing exactly what i edited.

so buckle the fuck up I guess because the tumblr userbase want to find out how to make html pages unusable and who am I to deny you.

get ready for Baby's First HTML and CSS tutorial lmao

ok so first things first we need to go over BASIC HTML

html is made up of these things called "tags" which specify certain parts of the web page, such as

HEADERS (<h1> through <h6> in terms of importance)

PARAGRAPHS (<p>paragraph here</p>)

LINKS (<a href="linkhere"></a>)

BOLDED SECTIONS OF TEXT(<b>bold here</b>)

and a bunch of other stuff,

by default however, specifying all of this just gives us a plain white page with plain black text of varying sizes

that's of course, no fucking good, and sucks shit, so the arbiters of html decided to let us STYLE certain elements, by adding a STYLE parameter to the tag

this can change any number of elements about how things are formatted.

text colour, page colour, font, size, spacing between elements, text alignment, you name it? you can change it!

you might've noticed that, certain elements are nested in other elements

and that any changes that apply to one element, apply to everything included under that element!

how convenient!

anyway this method of styling things by adding a style=" " to their tags is called "in-line style"

i think because the "style" goes "in" the "line"

it's generally ALSO a pain in the ass to style an entire website like this and should be exclusively reserved for small changes that you only want to apply to specific parts of the page.

for any real change in style you want to create a <style> section in your page's header!

this can be used to make changes to how all elements of a type in your page are displayed

or even add new elements with whatever wacky styling you want that can be used with the <div> tag!

wow! isn't css just dandy!

and hell you can even use External CSS™ if you're making multiple pages and want them all to have a consistent theme, by pointing to a .CSS file (which is basically just a <style> header without the <style> tags lmao

ok this is all well and good and very interesting if, say, you're making your own website

*cough*neocities*cough*itsreallycoolandfree*cough*

but you came here because you want to FUCK UP A WEBSITE and make it look STUPID!!

so this is where the transform css property comes in~

you can read up on it HERE if you want the details but basically it allows you to apply mathematical transformations to any html element you want,

all of these fun bastards,

they can be really useful if you're doing some complicated stupid bullshit like me

OR for having fun >:)

if you'll remember, earlier i said that css properties apply to literally everything nested in an element,

and you MIGHT notice, that literally everything in pretty much all html files, is nested in an <html> tag

you can use style=" " or regular css on pretty much ANY html tag,

INCLUDING HTML!

ok ok that was a lot of buildup for something that i could've explained in one or two lines, but i gave you all this fundamental knowledge for a reason,

well, two reasons, go make a neocities

CHAPTER 2: THIS POST HAS CHAPTERS NOW

CSS KEY FRAMES BABYYYY

THESE FUCKERS DON'T WORK AS INLINE STYLING

I HAD TO TEACH YOU HOW CSS WORKED, TO GIVE YOU THE KNOWLEDGE YOU NEED, TO ANIMATE PAGES. TO MAKE THE FUCKERY COMPLETE!!!!

OKAY SO AGAIN READ UP ON THIS IF YOU WANT THE FULLEST POSSIBLE UNDERSTANDING

BUT WHAT KEYFRAMES ALLOW YOU TO DO, IS ANIMATE CSS PROPERTIES

and then make a class, which calls that animation...

and then assign that class. to your html tag.

and then vomit forever

we can do it in 3d too,

the only limit is your imagination... (and how many parameters you want to look up on w3schools and mozilla mdn web docs)

CHAPTER 3: APPLYING IN PRACTICE

ok now the fun thing about all of this, is you can apply it to your blog theme, literally right now

like literally RIGHT now

like step one, make sure you have a custom blog theme enabled in your settings, because that's turned off by default for some reason

step 2: edit theme

step 3: edit html:

step 4: apply knowledge in practice >:)

[ulteriorm0tiv3s]

⚙️ ─ funfetti

✭─ pairing: metal sonic x reader (gender neutral)

✭─ genre: fluff

✭─ summary: it’s metal’s birthday! eggman tries to make a special gift, but you interfere to make it more ‘personalized’ from you.

✭─ song: https://spotify.link/7oI9LZ2RkDb

✭─ notes: LATE BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAYBITTHDAY BITTHFAY BIRTHDAY !!!! late birthday because his birthday was on my homecoming day so i didn’t have much time so 😭😭 thatz also why itz kinda short and poorly written, i didn’t wanna make something too long and have it posted too far away from his actual birthday 😞 so ya birthday oneshot kinda!!!! woo!!

༶•┈┈┈┈┈♡┈┈┈┈┈•༶

it was 4 in the morning, and you could not get an ounce of peaceful sleep. everything around you was so loud. the loud cranking of machinery was literally all you could hear. usually, you found the sound comforting, but it was far too noisy this time. you tried covering your ears in various different ways, but it was no use. sleep obviously wasn’t an option anymore, so you hesitantly climbed out of bed to go investigate.

eggman’s “tinkering room”, is what you called it, and of course that’s where the noise was coming from. it didn’t surprise you that eggman was causing your lack of sleep. there had been various other times where he kept you up. the evil genius was seated at a large metal table, working on some unknown creation.

“doc, it’s FOUR in the MORNING. what the actual fuck are you going this early,” your tone was cranky, which was understandable since you haven’t slept in 17 hours.

“i’ve warned you multiple times not to swear in my presence. however, i’m in a good mood so i’ll let it slide this time.”

“you didn’t answer my question.”

“i don’t have to answer anything,” eggman glared at you, a stern look on his face.

rolling your eyes, you leaned up against the wall, “i’m not leaving until you do though, soo…”

he just rolled his eyes as well and sighed, “fine, since you insist on pestering me. today is metal sonic’s creation anniversary. it has been 30 years since i’ve created him, my most magnificent creation to this very day. so i’m making something special for him, something that’ll finally get rid of that horrendous hedgehog.”

“creation anniversary? dude, just say it’s his birthday.”

“well, he technically wasn’t ‘born.’ so it isn’t a birthday.”

“well,” you mock his tone, “you sound goofy as hell when you say creation anniversary. but anyway, what exactly is the gift? are you gonna almost destroy the world again with some ugly counterfeit gem?”

you could tell you were pissing eggman off. he was trying his best not to boil over from rage and cook himself. the doctor just rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance, trying to focus on his current project.

“a deathray. i’m going to build it into metal sonic.”

“oh.” well that was straightforward!

“now will you finally leave me to my work? you’ve been distracting me long enough.”

“can i get some earplugs or something first?”

“get out.”

“okay, okay jeez…”

🔩♡🔩

eggman ceased his work around 30 minutes ago, but you still weren’t able to sleep. you were planning something quite silly since you knew it was metal’s birthday now.

instead of eggman, it was you who was seated at the large metal table, tinkering away. you were making a few modifications to this so-called ‘deathray.’ these modifications were sure to be more enjoyable than a deathray. well, in your opinion anyway. when you think of birthdays, you don’t think about deathrays, you think about cake that’s so sickeningly sweet you throw it up.

you knew metal couldn’t eat, but the idea of making him a cake was really funny for some reason. besides, what’s better as a gift than the sugary scurrility of a funfetti birthday cake? nothing, literally nothing. perhaps a blue funfetti cake though if anything. maybe you should’ve done blue funfetti…

🔩♡🔩

metal sonic’s feet clanked against the floors as he walked. he was newly equipped with eggman’s special gift. of course, no one knew you had customized it just a little bit.

“hey metal buddy!” you ran up behind him, making sure your voice was loud enough so he wouldn’t detect you as a threat.

last time you ran up behind him without saying anything, he almost shredded you like cheese. fortunately, that didn’t happen this time since you were loud enough. metal sonic turned his head in your direction, awaiting for what nonsensical thing you had to say.

“happy birthday! i'm assuming eggman already told you ‘happy creation anniversary’ or whatever. and just so you know, happy birthday is the correct term.”

he didn’t really understand what you were talking about. he was a robot created to destroy sonic, obviously, so birthdays weren’t really something he was programmed to know about. so he just tilted his head and whirred, showing his confusion.

“birthday, like, y’know, celebrating your birth. or… celebrating when you were built in your case, i guess. but that doesn’t matter, it’s still called a birthday. but anyway! today is your birthday!”

even though you explained it somewhat well, the robotic hedgehog still didn’t see how this was relevant to him. he kept his crimson eyes on you as they occasionally flickered over your form, wondering if you had anything else to say.

“i forget you can’t talk sometimes.. just gonna imagine you’re saying ‘thank you sooo much (y/n)! i’m so joyous about my birthday!’” you spoke in a very very awful impression of his nonexistent voice, patting his head afterwards.

metal sonic rolled his eyes as he turned away from you, beginning to walk away. he had more important things to attend to; like beating the shit out of his organic counterpart, sonic, or something like that. you bid him farewell, and he responded with a beep. maybe he was saying goodbye back. or maybe he was telling you to fuck off, who knows. hopefully he’ll still enjoy your gift.

🔩♡🔩

a tree tumbled down as a certain blue hedgehog was violently tossed into it, making said hedgehog groan in pain. it was a common occurrence of a fight; metal sonic vs. sonic the hedgehog. usually sonic would have the upper hand, but it seems that metal sonic is going all out today.

“aw man! that was my favorite tree! couldn’t you have thrown me into a different one?” sonic sneered, crossing his arms and doing his infamous foot taps as he stood up.

his robotic counterpart was in no mood for his mockery, clutching his sharp metal talons before lunging towards the hedgehog once more. luckily for sonic, this was easy to dodge. the tension of the battle was starting to slow down a bit, causing sonic to yawn.

“man…this is starting to get a teeeensy bit boring. just a tad. how about we finish up?”

metal sonic beeped, seeming to agree. however, he had something planned. he would take the win this time, and get rid of this horrid hedgehog once and for all.

“alrighty! this’ll be an easy win!”

sonic dashed towards the robot, preparing for his final hit. metal sonic did the same, clashing into sonic. the two blue blurs continued the battle, the intensity revving up again.

unexpectedly though, sonic was thrown into a tree a second time. this time, the tree hadn’t snapped, but bended. this caused the hedgehog to be flung across the field, giving the robot an opportunity to finish charging up his final blow.

“thanks for throwing me into a tree that wasn’t my favori— why is your chest glowing. that isn’t normal is it!”

indeed it was not normal. the robot had finished charging up his deathray; the birthday gift from eggman. he wasted no time putting it to use. it was game over for his rival.

…

rather than being blown to smitherines, sonic had been blasted with…

“is this funfetti frosting?”

the hedgehog, still in one piece, was coated in bright blue frosting and cake. specifically funfetti, but that didn’t matter. what mattered is what the fuck happened to the deathray eggman made, and why metal sonic was blasting out cake.

seems like he found your surprise!

[acourtofladydeath]

WIP Game

Thank you for the tags @yanny-77 and @witch-and-her-witcher!!

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I have SO MANY WIPs in varying stages ranging from "ferally writing every chance i get, including in my sleep and during class" to "drowning and forgotten at the bottom of the pool while I work on everything else." Some are mostly drafted, others are outlines, and some are just ideas I've dropped into docs but all are near and dear to my little fanfic heart.

Welcome to the Family (Elain X all the Vanserras)

Sariel Sic Fic (Azris)

*ASOLB Ch3: Dare to Dream (Azris)

*RttHC Ch2: Winners & Losers (Azris X Nessian)

*TTBW Ch5: You Were Only Waiting (Nessriel)

Ch7: Reunited (Patrochilles)

UTM contact -> mating (Azris)

What Eris got Az for solstice (Azris)

Casris Hounds

Who Have We Become? (IC has to face some shit)

The Process of Progress (Azriel focused)

Carhysta Smut

A Court of Hurting and Healing (Bat Boys focused)

And So, We Danced (Nesta & Eris brotp w/ Nessian & Azris)

How Dare You (AU Azris)

Lovers Live and Die, Fortissimo (AU - Azris, Nessian, Elucien, Helion X LOA)

Lauda/Hunt F1 AU (Azriel/Cassian)

UTM Lucien/Eris fic

Patrochilles Azris

Eris shows up drunk & injured, see screenshots (Azris)

Feysand vs. Nessriel

FFF smut part 2 (Eltamcien)

ASOLB mating frenzy (Azris)

Jurian and Rhys heart-to-heart

Bat Boy reunion after UTM

*RttHC, TTBW, and ASOLB each have a doc per chapter, so they have multiple WIP docs, but I only listed the chapters I'm currently writing/working on.

Several are whump, several are feel good fun, some are more serious commentaries, and a few are straight smut. There are also MORE THAN THIS. But those ideas were either not as fleshed out or ones I wanted to keep to myself.

ANYWAY THIS IS HOW MY BRAIN WORKS. Welcome to my personal hell. ? Heaven? Unclear...

For legal reasons and my own gods damned sanity I make literally zero guarantees that you get all of these by the way. but THEY EXIST. There's also the two original fiction ideas that I have and have documents for but I'm keeping those close to the chest.

There's literally no way to tag as many people as I have fics so I'm just picking a few. I apologize if you've already been tagged and NO PRESSURE! @thelov3lybookworm, @readychilledwine, @born-to-riot, @danikamariewrites, @thelovelymadone, @theatrequeen, @nocasdatsgay

[latibvles]

friends.

more OCs? more OCs. anyways hi there, plucking from the HBO WWII Rewatch Prompt list — I figured it’d be fun to use it to throw more OCs at the wall and gesture like a crazy woman introduce characters who have been hiding in my docs! Yay lady-pilots and women in the military. Anyways here’s Viv, here’s Willie, and here’s me capitalizing on one of the 100th’s Training Stories that is deeply amusing to ME. if you remember reading this little number — it's the same crew! :) hope you like it

—

“Heard some of them ended up in Vegas.”

“Vegas? No shit.”

“Mhm, word up the ladder is it’s not looking too good for the Colonel.”

There’s a vacancy in the Officer’s Club tonight that was hard not to notice. Not many had made it to their destination — save for the three all-women ones, talking in their hushed whispers, as though recognizing the obvious would get the wings snatched from their uniforms. There wasn’t much time to celebrate a practice exercise well-flown, even if they’d earned it. Even if they were expected to fail and yet were the only demographic of the 100th to pass with flying colors. 

It was a bad look. Most of the 100th was at present spread across the Western U.S, over half of them entirely missing the airfield meant to be their target. Which, if you asked Vivian, was just telling of how many of the men were able to get comfortable quickly — a luxury that she and her crew didn’t have.

Ah, but no one’s asking you much of anything these days, are they, Viv?

Her gaze lifts up towards the approaching figure, fingers curled around two bear bottles. Willie’s expression gives about as much away as it typically does; which is to say, it gives away nothing at all, lips pressed into their neutral state of a tight line, brows furrowed as she sets one bottle on the table and slides it towards her.

“Here I thought you were standing me up,” Viv offers, which gets Willie to crack — just enough that she’s exhaling sharply through the nose and rolling her eyes with subtle affection.

“Right, cause you’ve been stood up,” Willie fires back as Vivian takes the beer bottle from her. “Fat chance, Savorre.”

“I do love when you sweet talk me,” Vivian coos, to which Willie rolls her eyes once more as she surveys the space, taking a seat on the opposing side of the table.

If you’d asked Vivian a long while ago, she’d swear up and down that Wilhelmina Neumann did not like her — for some inexplicable reason. To which the other women in their bunkhouse would attest to something similar. Her black-haired companion always had that very slight frown to her lips, that furrowed brow that suggested she was either disapproving of something or deep in thought. That, and she didn’t talk much. Nowadays, Vivian was more than proud to boast about her multiple successes in making Willie laugh. Willie, not Wilhelmina, because according to the woman herself, it was just “too many syllables.”

She, like the rest of their crew, knew that when Willie had something to say, it’d be in their benefit to listen.

“Any word on Alkire?” Vivian asks, curiously. Willie shakes her head.

“Heard he ended up in Vegas.” Vivian snorts, then fixes Willie with a look, trying to discern if this was one of Willie’s deadpan remarks as opposed to a serious observation.

“You’re kidding.”

“Wish I was. I think another plane ended up in Tennessee,” Willie looks towards the door, her brows furrowed. “How many of them are losing their wings, do you think?” Irritation creeps into her tone and Vivian doesn’t blame her. Thirty women, three crews, all sitting uncomfortably as their CO says in so many words what it meant for them, specifically, to fail. There was already the doubt in the air that they’d actually see combat, that they’d be doing much of anything besides practice flights over the states. If they weren’t already aware of the uncertainty of their situation — their CO had a specific fascination with reminding them that at any moment this could all get shut down and they’d be sent packing.

“It’s not gonna be us, that’s all I care about,” Vivian shrugs, candid. “Put us in the lead and I bet everyone and their mother would’ve made it to California.”

“Would’ve made it all the way to Hitler’s house.”

“Careful Willie, you’re turning optimistic on me,” At that, Willie smiles, hidden behind the neck of her beer bottle, shoulders shaking in a small laugh as she shakes her head. Rarely did they ever talk like this, rarely were they ever allotted the space to do so. It had to be confined to the walls of their fort — girls whispering secret praises for doing things that the boys did. God forbid they were anything but gracious for the opportunity given to them.

They could embrace these few hours of smugness before reality would sink back in and sour it. Although, after this, Vivian wasn’t sure if she planned on being quiet and humble immediately thereafter. Let them be embarrassed. No sweat off my back. Willie just barely knocks Vivian’s ankle with her foot, then shrugs.

“Is it really optimism? How’re they gonna find England if they can’t find California?” The question hangs heavy in the air, but something about Willie’s face, the way she avoids Vivian’s gaze, has Vivian’s mouth curling into a grin. She’s leaning over the table slightly.

“You know something.” Willie’s brows furrow.

“I do not.”

“Yeah you do. It’s all over your face. Oughta wash it sometime soon.”

“You’re not funny,” Willie narrows her eyes and Vivian’s grin becomes wider. They hold each other’s stare for a few long, silent, seconds, and then Willie looks away once more, sighing in a quiet, bewildered surrender. “Eckley says that Crosby gets pretty bad motion sickness so I’m just thinking about… things like that. Little things. How many crews actually messed up ‘cause of small things or stuff they can’t help,” she shrugs, looking down at the table. “It just…it could’ve been us, y’know? In Vegas.”

“Think we could sort it out before it becomes a problem in the air,” Vivian assures, “if not me or you, then one of the eight other people with us. You better not be getting cold feet on me now,” Trying to weave her reassurance neatly with the joke seems to work, if only a little bit. Willie scoffs and knocks Vivian’s ankle with her foot once again.

“Takes two to fly to Hitler’s house.”

“Exactly,” Vivian affirms with a nod, tilting the neck of the beer bottle towards Willie, who looks at it questioningly. “Call me a bad teammate but I’m gonna enjoy this tonight. Let them figure out what they’re gonna do with their guys who can’t find California. ‘Cause it’s not gonna be our crew and it’s not gonna be us.” Willie nods, clinking the neck of her beer with Vivian’s and then taking a drink.

“Now who’s turning optimistic?”

“Well I’m always optimistic. You’re the one switching things up.” Willie opens her mouth to fire back, but the door opens and her gaze falls on whoever just walked in.

“Why is it so quiet? Someone put on a record — you guys got Goodman?” Willie looks back at Vivian with a wholly bewildered expression — and mouths one phrase as the Officer’s Club seems to fall back into the bustling behavior it was so accustomed to: Guess Egan made it.

[subwaytostardew]

▽ Subway to Stardew - Emmet 8-Heart Event ▽

This plays after getting at least 8 hearts with Emmet and entering the Railroad between 9AM - 4PM on a Thursday after viewing his 7 heart event.

You recieve this letter when you reach 8 hearts with Emmet!

Commentary and progress under the readmore.

▷ Station Steward Thylak

I DID NOT REALIZE THAT THIS EVENT WOULD BE THAT LONG... I could have sworn it was around 14 minutes max! I was worried that the battle stuff went by too quickly! It's almost 30 minutes long! And that's with me clicking away faster! Emmet really meant it when he said he wanted to spend all the livelong day together...

I thought it was going to be roughly 18 minutes. NOPE. WOOPS. This what happens when you write possibly too much.

We are bad at making short events. Vanilla events are around 1-3 minutes long. A day in Stardew lasts 14 minutes and 10 seconds. I would not recommend trying to play this mod spoiler free on multiplayer because time does not freeze and you will die if you don't skip the events. I wouldn't want to shorten the events either... Cutting down their infodumps would just be wrong.

We had a few requests to have a battle event which made me 😅 because I personally couldn't imagine that going well (truth over ideals...). This event was partially made to shut that idea down. The whole tunnel scene is mostly me trying to write an in-story reason as to why there won't be a battle with the farmer against Ingo... Emmet is competitive! This is not just limited to battles but extends to being your best friend! Behind the scenes... I'm just too tired to write out more battles. I actually really dislike single battle format. I'm not making an Ingo battle event. You already have three games to battle him in. I refuse to make more battle events for the time being.

I say that but there's another half-finished double battle event between submas that I switched tracks from to work on Emmet's 8 heart event... I'll finish that eventually.

Anyways... the creation process did not go by quickly at all either. I sure do have a lot to say on that matter. I do all my coding in google docs (terrible, I know) and so far we have had to make 3 seperate documents becuase things start to break at around 40 pages. The document before Emmet's 8 heart event made it to 64 pages before I abandoned it for a new document.

The longest document we have is around 80 pages along. Which usually contain the draft scripts of multiple events. code documents however take up a lot more since it's basically a giant wall of text. So when Emmet's 8 heart event started to slow down the current code document (the third iteration). We had to give the event its own space.

Emmet's 8 heart event ended up being 36 pages long alone! Also if you didn't know, Stardew's event format doesn't allow for line breaks so I have been staring at a 36 page wall of text for weeks. I plan to upload a video compiling all the different options later because I feel like all of the "good" options for battle... don't quite make sense in the context of the rest of the story. The farmer is supposed to not be good at battle and lose because they got overwhelmed with information. As the one writing out all the battle options though, I can't bring myself to act like I'm bad at battling. The winning options are extra silly just to justify a loss and because I couldn't bring myself to lie about Wild Charge not being a guaranteed OHKO on Archeops either. Especially since Emmet brings out damage calculations in a few of the options.

On that topic, all of the battle options play out accurately in a real double battle! I tested. Every. Single. Path. In Pokemon Showdown between the halves of Emmet's team.

I had nightmares of reliving this same battle over and over because that's all I did when I was awake. Make it stopppppp 😭

The lines about them practicing were references to me actually simulating everything in Showdown! Emmet's frustration is also based on how making this event took over my brain so now I struggle to comprehend how someone who doesn't know what to do in this battle would feel... Thank you Kade for helping me with that part ^^;;;

Your welcome =3

I actually enjoyed the Pokémon Showdown part - when it comes to Pokémon Battles, I have dabbled a little bit into the competitive side of things. Or at least the massive game of 4D Chess... trying to predict your opponent etc. Bait them into making a mistake, etc. There was a good time where we did nothing but Pokémon Battles for a night. And it was fun.

I am in no way good at competitive side of things - (I lose lot but that's okay.) especially in the double battle format. Single Battles I could do. (Though once again, I'm average at best) However I think the most memorable battle I ever had was back in Pokémon X and Y, where I managed to chip away and stall a Mega Aggron with a Umbreon.. And I think Umbreon was my last Pokémon but I kept using Moonlight to keep my health up. My kid self was super surprised and ecstatic that I beaten the odds... but whenever I do Pokémon Showdown I'm either testing battle stuff or making teams. I'm addicted to team compositions and doing a combination of different Pokémon even if it's not the competitive Meta....

I have the choices sorted into good/bad routes in my mind so in most of the routes, Emmet criticizes the player's decisions based on type advantage, STAB, and target. I was torn between the best and worst options for this recording but thanks to Kade's input, you get to see Durant ramming into Emmet instead of him getting mad at you for conducting Shadow Claw on Galvantula.

Battling Emmet as a first time trainer is not going to go well! Not only is he too competitive and he refuses to let you win (unlike Ingo), he pretty much sets you up for failiure. I'm sorry Emmet but Galvantula's stats are not intended for making her a physical attacker (emphasis on the Egg Move at what cost...).

Not to mention... Emmet is a Battle Facility Head. And you don't get to battle the Subway Bosses in the mainline games unless you have a somewhat decent team halfway through the game. Even still! They can both wipe the floor with you if you're not aware that they are using battle items...

Though I interpret Emmet not going easy on someone as him challenging them to push themselves and exceed expectations. Both Ingo and Emmet as characters encourage others in their own way, Ingo through words and Emmet I believe through his actions. Though he also can say some encouraging things.

Not the most encouraging if you compare their quotes pages... Customer service and communication isn't exactly his forte... But Emmet wants you to do your best and win against him! He likes seeing serious battlers like him! He just won't let you win unless if you push yourself to do your best. You'll have to. He doesn't really have the most beginner-friendly approach...

Considering you the Farmer, have no idea what a Pokémon even is. (You're practically learning everything from Ingo, Emmet, Elesa etc.) The fact you get challenged to a Battle because Emmet wants to share his interests with you - to have you better understand Pokémon.

He just struggles with the fact that, he is essentially challenging someone with no real battle experience and it's a Double Battle at that. Controlling two Pokémon at once?! Think about the effort it takes to command one Pokémon. We all seen the Anime and how trainers struggle to connect with their partners because they're new. They're just starting. They aren't going to be Battle Facility levels of skill.

Not to mention that Emmet is a little deprived in the valley and hasn't really battled any other new passengers in quite some time. At most, he battled Iris once when she came to visit, Ingo (who's Pokemon are optimized for countering/pissing him off), and himself (I had the mental image of him sitting in the field practicing for this event like an old man playing chess against himself in a park). He's a little too far gone to fully understand what a beginner would think in this situation other than mayyyybe it would take a moment to catch them up to speed. (I would know... I swear those option paths rewired my brain...)

After inputting all of their data into Showdown, I had actually forgotten that Galvantula and Durant are Emmet's Doubles Line team while Eelektross and Archeops are the Super Doubles Line team when deciding the matchups. (Been a while since they were in the Battle Subway huh...) Story-wise, I was thinking that Emmet should be with his ace and that he wouldn't really trust anyone else with Archeops since... he has higher support needs (depression bird 💔). Eelektross and Archeops are paired up because of Gastro Acid and Defeatist. I was thinking that Galvantula and Durant are a bit more beginner-friendly; they can take a loss a bit more easilly (a little less so in Galvantula's case... she's a hater). The farmer had already met Durant earlier in the 4-heart event so he'd volunteer to return the favor of fighting for you. Once you win his trust, he's more than happy to help. As for Galvantula... She's testing to see if she can trust her clingy child with you.

I'm excited to dive into the Pokémon NPC stories... Durant and Excadrill especially.

Durant was originally going to have Choice Scarf instead of Quick Claw to help narrow down the options. It was a pain reorganizing my notes and options all over again to lump not only move choices but turn order in mind. My notes were a mess.

Durant and Galvantula are a very luck-based combination so it was ultimately easier to write the different option paths with that in mind since Stardew's event format is verrrrrrrrrrrry linear. All of the options need to merge back into the same event (well... besides the option to refuse his friendship/battle which ends the event in the tunnel). Durant has lowered accuracy while Galvantula has higher critical hit ratios, I could write the battles based on their luck which is great because I wanted to force a loss.

I thought it would be a little too... reductive (it sure would reduce the amount of content >.>) and unrealistic for the player to impress Emmet with a victory on their first battle. Emmet sees this battle as a test on if you can follow his train of thought and be a good match for him because he's a little bit dependent on you for emotional regulation. He kind of expects you as his favorite passenger to have twin telepathy like Ingo since that's his standard operating procedure. You won't. Because you're not Ingo. You're just some weird farmer he got attached to. With the setup of a battle, I wanted this event to develop the farmer and Emmet's relationship to show that they aren't exactly perfect for each other (and Will say things that can be wrongly misinterpreted) but ultimately they will put in the effort to communicate and make things work. They won't have the best communication! But it's there.

While Ingo has a proper library confession, this event doubles as Emmet's "confession" of sorts. Emmet is already pretty openly affectionate by this point and I wanted to make it somewhat ambiguous as to whether or not his attachment to you is romantic or strictly platonic. To him, it doesn't really matter, but he does want you all to himself. He's not fond of sharing!

But... While Emmet's event may be more platonic in intent, you can still reject him. It's a lot harsher than Ingo's because refusing to even let him try to be a better friend for you is pretty harsh in itself. Ingo's is mostly the choice of whether or not you want to send him back to 6 hearts for more dialogue variety (it's really easy to miss dialogue when you try to max out their hearts as soon as possible! We're making lines for every day, season, and heart level.) Rejecting Emmet sends you back to 2 hearts and overrides his daily dialogue for the day with him asking if you're still friends, apologizing, and then getting too upset to say anything more.

Anyways!

From the start, I wanted Emmet to be like Nemona; awkward in their attachment, somewhat intimidating in their obsession/competitiveness, and thinks of the player as their savior from loneliness. He wants to be the best friend you have because you're the best friend he has. It's only fair. Best rival for life, favorite passenger, same thing.

The mountain pass events were actually made because Emmet's original schedule included him waiting around near the bushes there like Nemona stalking the player on their gym journey. NPCs actually can't path there so when he did, he was just deleted from the save!

I also stumbled across a bug back when I made the very first introduction event where a question loops unless if you pick a certain option. I kept that with Emmet forcing you to keep battling with him in mind as a slight reference to how Nemona doesn't let you say no to being her "best rival for life". This question also makes SMAPI hate you!

Gotta love Pokémon's false sense of 'Sure you have a choice. Your choice is always YES.'

There's probably a more fitting flower for Emmet outside of poppies. I just looked up every flower in Stardew (some of them aren't real...) and their meanings in flower language to come to the conclusion of poppies. The meanings in Emmet's event refer to the white poppy in particular. White. Rest. Oblivion. It fits. Good enough. It was a bit difficult to find more on the flower language of poppies in English (particularly the "Oblivion" part) so I resorted to Japanese sites for more information.

In English, the meaning of "Rest" seems to precede every other meaning. Poppies are used in death memorials. Emmet and the farmer did accidentally develop a shared theme of dying (overwork exhaustion, slimes, the mines, etc... Emmet can't get a break. I'm sorry.) but I wasn't sure if Kade was okay with the theme of death being emphasized. With that in mind, I was stunned when I that saw that her first battle map draft included a graveyard. The implication that Emmet picked flowers from a memorial site...

In my mind - the area is an old train stop in between the desert area and the forest/mountains that lead into Pelican Town. Also figured there would be an abandon farm - considering how Pelican Town is struggling it makes sense that potentially other places are not in best of shape either.

The graveyard is possibly dead relatives of whatever family or farmer made their life near the rails. Of course a lot of time has passed... So much so that nature has taken back what was theirs in the first place.

I always make up stories when having a location in mind and this area parallels with the tunnel Ingo takes you through to stargaze around 10 hearts. That area being an abandon coal mining operation.... Coal, Wood, etc. was used to powered steam trains so makes sense for there to be a source for it. I'm not the best when it comes to filling up Tiled Maps with decor - but I at least put down enough for Thylak to come in and make it more fitting for Stardew

The battlefield underwent quite a few revisions, one was having the battle area be more centered, and changing the old warehouse/worker area to be more like a train repair station with a water stop. I wanted it to feel like a place where Emmet goes to keep himself busy when he's told to take a break from working on the station.

Here's the final map! The battle area had to be shrunken down to fit in an event. More grass was added because I kept losing track of Joltik in the dirt. There's more flowers for Emmet to observe the quality of and pick tge best ones as gifts that he's too nervous to give the farmer until they wilt and dry. Poppies by the gravestones, of course!

I also did attempt to make a proper scrapbook sprite for when I eventually have Emmet give you his gift, but I never got around to implementing it properly since... I'm not familliar with adding custom items and its implementation changes in the 1.6 update.

Despite having access to the modding alpha, I've been procrastinating on migrating to 1.6 since HD Portraits isn't supported yet (I know... 1.6 releases in 3 weeks...).

WOO 1.6 WE ARE NO WHERE NEAR READY FOR ALL THE STUFF THAT POSSIBLY GOING TO BREAK. LOL.

Until next time! Thank you for reading!

[starliights-shining]

Party goer.

Pairing: Jazz x reader

Warnings: NSFW, fem word uses,

A/N: this is like 4400+ words and 8 pages in my docs, ive been working on it fro the past week or so. Its not proof read, i simply just dont proof read. I've been preoccupied with RE4s remake coming out soon, but i swear im not ignoring the TF request I have, it'll just take a long time for them to come out. :) anyways enjoy!

Parties, loud music, drinking, the mixing crowd of bots and people. You didn’t really care for them, but Jazz did. When you say a lot of parties, you mean a lot of parties. Ranging from weddings, funerals, battle victories, hell even political ones, Because if Jazz got an invite, he was going with you of course. This party was different. He got his invite from Prowl, but when Jazz brought the invite to you, it said in fancy italics “No Humans!”. 

“It says no human Jazz. I'm not going to some stupid party just to be denied entry or worse bullied.” 

“You won’t get bullied, you’ll be with me. For the last time (Y/N)” 

You were on the couch, You looked at the bot, a disappointed frown on his face plate. The invitation is gently in your grasp, its fancy English writing and other language translations. 

“I don’t know that Jazz, you want me to get all dressed up just to be denied entry or be sat outside the entire time?” 

You placed the invasion on the coffee table. Leaning back into the couch, you were upset. Your lover was basically asking you to get dressed and all just to be denied entry to a party, no, you will not be doing that. 

“You’re acting like I'm asking you to fight in a war, I’m not.” 

“You, Jazz, you're not understanding.” 

You're stuttering over your words, he was upsetting you. 

“I am understanding, if you don’t want to go just tell me the real reason. Is it prowl? Is there someone else you’re avoiding?” 

“I don’t want to be bullied at a party for being me, that's all Jazz.” 

“Cut the slag, (Y/N).” 

You were taken aback, why was he so upset with you. 

“You know what, yes Jazz. It’s You and Prowl” 

You were now standing up, he had finally gotten the same energy match. You were pissed. 

  “I dont want to go to a party, where I sit in a fucking corner by myself, and watch you and Prowl get fucking drunk. I don’t want to sit outside a fucking club or god fucking knows where, while you and your shit cop buddy go inside and get fucked up and hit on. Just go by yourself.” 

You walked out of the living room, hell you were tempted to go for a walk. Instead you walk straight to your room. Locking the door and just sitting on the edge of your bed. How the hell could he just yeah at you like, over not wanting to go to a party that says “No Human.”

You woke up to a knock on the door. Multiple knocking, getting up you opened the door to see Jazz, his smile not wearing as you gave him a tired look. 

“You wanna get ready, and like come with us?”

You stared into his visor, until the movement of Prowl behind him caught your attention. You sighed before motioning your head for him to enter and moved towards the bathroom. He closed the door behind himself, and followed you into the bathroom, leaning against the doorway. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

His question felt stupid, of course you were still mad at him. He made you feel bad, how would he feel if you made him feel like shit for following directions. You took your clothes off and stepped into the shower. 

“No, just tired.” 

“Tired, tired of me?” 

He laughed, he was trying to lighten the mood, considering he could probably feel the heavy atmosphere. 

“I guess you could say something like that.”

“Alright well, I’ll be downstairs with Prowl, we’ll leave when you're ready.” 

You actually don't know why you're going, you had expressed very aggressively why you didn’t want to go. Yet, the moment Jazz asked you didn’t hesitate. He just had that effect on you, a simple command and you’d do it, but he doesn’t ever want to understand your side. The noise of Jazz laughing took you out of your thoughts, the cold nipping at your skin as you three stood in the que line to get in. You peeked around the bot in front of you to see the line, an arrangement of all all types of people, but not a single human. You straighten up, standing behind the two mechs, an uneasy feeling washed over you. You truly felt like you weren’t supposed to be here. You felt someone bump into you, turning around, you were met with an ugly look. 

“Sorry, I didn’t,” “I don’t care, just watch where you’re walking.” 

They had cut off your apology, completely blaming you for the encounter. The person had tried to step in front of you, assuming the line ended right after Jazz and Prowl. You stepped back in our original spot, looking up at the person and smiling. 

“Sorry, I was actually here before you.” 

Bring your hand up to point at the spot you were standing at, the same spot you’ve been at, right behind the two Cybertronians. Jazz turned around at the sound of your voice. Looking between you and the person. 

“Is there a problem?” 

He placed that ‘I’ll act nice, but am i really’ smile on his face plate. You watched as the person backed up, looking at you with an upset look before mumbling no. Jazz pulled you to stand in front of him. 

“Did something happen?” 

“No, he was just trying to cut in line. Probably because I was human.” 

You spoke, turning around and looking forward. This was the exact reason you didn’t want to come. You weren’t even inside yet and there was already someone trying to start something. All these other space people, some of them look like humans, You can’t tell the difference unless you ask them, and even then some won’t even admit they're human. 

By the time you remember what you were here for, Jaz had already gotten both you and Prowl into the party. 

Jazz bends down to your head level, before speaking. 

“See, we’re in. No need to worry.” 

You looked at him, why the fuck would he say that. He started walking towards an empty booth, sitting you inside. 

“Now, Prowl and I have some things to attend to. Stay here, if anyone asks, you're waiting for someone.” 

You nod, placing your hands in your lap. Before Jazz leaves he places a kiss on your forehead, causing you to look over at him, he smiles, snaps one of his servos before pointing a finger gun at you. You watched as he disappeared into the crowd, this is exactly how you thought it'd go. Being left in some strange club, while he goes off to go god fucking knows where. A waiter came up to your table asking if you wanted anything, considering you knew you’d be there for a long ass time. You ordered yourself something, anything to keep you occupied. The last thing you wanted was to think about your situation. 

The waiter brought the drink out and after a few sips you just ended up swirling the liquid around. The mix of human and cybertronian alcohol mixed into a light neon blue. Maybe this was just part of the every plan, drag you out to a party and have you sit alone. You can't seem to figure out what comes after that, some random person hits on you or the Prowl keeps you company until Jazz comes back. The simple thought of having company while sitting here just kept creeping into your mind. 

You were left with your own mind, something that can pull your moods up or down with just simple thinking, but considering you’ve been at this party for some time and no one seems to notice or care, it was time to just relax. You leaned back in the booth, your head resting on the stuffed leather as you closed your eyes. Pulling your drink close to you, but keeping your hand on it. You know closing your eyes in a foreign place isn’t the greatest thing to do, but who really cares, you didn’t want to come here anyways and hopefully Jazz or Prowl would return soon. 

You were just getting comfortable when you felt a knock on the table. Your eyes open to see the familiar blue visor. He smiled at you before sitting around from you, a drink in hand. 

“Whatcha doin?” 

His tone was playful, it seems like his drink was really getting to him. 

“Sitting here,” 

You reply as you close your eyes again. 

“I don't know, it seems like you were sleeping.”

“I was just resting my eyes.”

You lifted your hand up moving it around in front of your face in a shade gesture. 

“That's bad because anyone could slip something into your drink.” 

You shrugged, you knew he was right but you really didn’t want to admit he was, you were still upset at him. So instead you acted like you didn’t care. 

“And then they’d kidnap you, my beautiful girlfriend.” 

He was sweet talking you. He knew you were still upset at him and the thought of that simple just couldn’t exist within him. You didn’t respond, if he knew the true reason he’d recommend leaving, and you really like the drink you have and you're super comfortable. 

“Now, tell me, why are your eyes closed? Is it the lights? Thinking about getting me in bed already?” 

God now he was asking questions and his questions were getting out of hand, so you acted like you couldn't hear him over the loud music and chatter. You finally decided that keeping your eyes closed would mean no looking at Jazz, so you lifted your head. Making eye contact with his visor while pulling your cup up to your lips. 

“Is there something I can help you with?” 

You just wanted to know what he wanted, disturbing your peace in your small corner booth. He looked taken aback, he placed his free hand on his chassis and let out a dramatic gasp.

“I just wanted to see what my beautiful girlfriend was doin, am I not allowed to be with you.” 

You rolled your eyes, is this really how he was trying to get on your good side? 

“And now you’ve seen, Don’t you have things to attend to, like,”

You paused looking around the crowded room, your eyes scanning for anything that looked of interest or be of interest to Jazz. You saw multiple people dancing, a group of girls getting drunk and being hit on by some space robot, the DJ trying to keep up with everyone's requests, the bartender yelling at someone for hitting on her, and then your eyes landed on Prowl. The cop sat with a lady at the bar, that was your goat out, Jazz would see Prowl finally getting some and then it’d be enough to convince him to either wingman for him or leave with you. You lifted your hand with your cup in it, your index finger pointing towards the bot.

“Like Prowl, He seems to have found himself a lady.” 

Jazz whips his helm around, searching the bar for the bot.

“I don’t believe it.”

He trailed off as he turned back to you. Now was the time he’s supposed to get up and go talk to them, get her to fall in love with his close friend, but for some reason, he doesn’t. He leans back into his spot in the booth, taking a sip of the drink he harbored. A sly smile on his face as he watches your face. 

“Was that your plan to get rid of me?”  

You sighed, downing the last bit of your drink. You shifted your position in the booth, Placing your arms on the table as you leaned in. He leans in himself, that same smile on his face. Your eyes trail from his visor to his lips and then down his chassis and finally to his servos. Your eyes flicking back up to his visor and then back to his drink.  Learning a tad bit more and smiling. 

“Yeah, kinda hoped it would work, maybe I could get you to leave me the fuck alone.” 

You said his smile fading as he started to move back to his original position, your hands swiftly grab his cup, It being slightly larger than yours, as you bring it up to your lips, taking in the liquid. You thought it tasted ten times better then whatever the fuck you hand before.

“You little,” 

he was cut off as you got up from the booth, placing the cup back on the table. Since Jazz wasn’t going to wingman for Prowl, you thought you’d do it. Walking towards the bot, you felt a pair of metal arms wrap around you . 

“Where do you think you're going little miss.” 

Jazz’s voice being heard a little too clearly in your ear, you giggled, leaning back into him. You moved to grab his arms.

“I wanna go tell Prowl that we’re leaving,” 

You lied, the original plan being thrown out the window the moment Jazz grabbed you, the same thought about how you’d do anything for him. 

He hummed his response letting god of you and settling for just holding your hand as you dragged him towards the bot. As you got closer until you got the attention of Prowl, You put on your brightest smile and gave a big wave.

“Prowl,” 

You drew out his name, His optics met your eyes. 

“Jazz and I are going home, I thought I’d tell you just in case you were to leave later and couldn’t find us.” 

He nodded, after getting confirmation you looked towards the lady, smiling before turning back to Prowl and waving. You turned around and started to leave. Walking through the crowd of people and to the door, you could feel the occasional squeeze from his servos. 

The feeling of the cold night breeze hit your face hard, shivering as Jazz moved to stand next to you while letting go of your hand. Fresh air never felt better, a deep breath coming from you, eyes closed relaxed. It seemed like the headache you had while in the building disappeared the moment you stepped outside. The noises of cars and other city noises take over your ears. 

“Soo, what do you wanna do now,” 

He paused, you opened your eyes to look over at him and smiled. 

“I know you didn't actually want to go home, come on, you look too good to just go home.” 

He moved his servos in a gesturing motion towards your outfit, yeah you did like your fit and did think it was kinda too early to go home, but you didn’t need him to know that. 

“We could just go for a walk, see what we see.” 

You suggested, bringing your hands up to the sides of your arms, the chill of the air seeping to your bones. You started in a direction, the bot following behind you. You could hear the sound of whirling from his intake. 

“Got anywhere special you wanna go?” 

He moved up to walk next to you, a smile on his face plate as he analyzed your reaction. The city was large, and you could practically go anywhere you wanted. So you thought, trying to come up with something cool other than just going home. Cool, something cool for Jazz to enjoy. He could just enjoy your company, but the idea of a walk didn’t really seem to interest him whatsoever. 

“It's okay if you don't have anything to do. I already dragged you to that party,” 

He paused, he was thinking, your eyes met with his visor. Your reflection looking back at you in the shiny blue material. At that moment, you thought you could look at yourself for the rest of your life through that visor, a visor brighter than the blue sky. You didn’t practically like looking at yourself, but this time, you thought you could do it for hours on end. Your eyes trail down to his lips for a split second before looking back at his visor. The cold air seemed to hit your body differently at that moment, almost lighting a fire of lust within you. 

“Hello, (Y/N)? Y’a there!” 

Jazz moved his servo in front of your face, breaking you from your trance. Your hands came up to your mouth in a cupping motion as you blew hot air into them, a desperate attempt to warm up. You could just take one and tell him you’d like to go home, but who knows what’d go down if you both went home with the amount of alcohol in your systems. Maybe that’s what made going home so exciting, the thought of desire and being under the bot you so desperately love. 

“I’d like to go home, it’s getting colder and I didn’t dress for it.” 

You stated, the idea to cover the real reason for going home with freezing being the only thing keeping you going. 

You both arrive at your house, the bot standing behind you while you fiddled with your keys to get the door unlocked. You opened the door to be met with the warmth of your home and its familiar comforting smell. The sigh coming from you is a signal of home. You had walked further into your home, forgetting about the bot who was behind you. You just wanted out of your clothes, the redistricting fabric from the dress and the heels you wore that was making it feel like you were walking on pins and needles. 

When Jazz looked up from closing the door you were gone, the faint noise of your heels going up the carpeted stairs . 

“Slow down, pretty girl.” 

He called out, as he started following you. It didn’t take long for him to catch up, walking into your bedroom to see you standing next to the bed, one hand placed on the mattress and slightly bent over as your other hand reached for your heel that was kicked up. He leaned against the door frame watching you, arms crossed over his chassis. 

Once you got your heels off you dug your feet into the carpet, the feeling getting you to sigh in relief, no more heels. Both of your hands were now planted on the bed and your head hanging down, all you needed was to get your dress off and then get a warm bath and your night would be complete. Complete? I’d be complete if you could get Jazz on top of you. Your thoughts were cut short when you felt a pair of servos on your waist, his digits playing with the fabric of your dress. 

“You look too good in this dress, just for it to go to waste. Don't you think so?”

You could feel him pulling you into him, your back meeting his chassis as his helm rested on your shoulder. You’d be lying if you didn’t agree with him, you looked too damn good in your dress just to give it up in a matter of seconds. His servo was traveling downwards, stopping at the hem of the dress. He took a deep breath in, his servos playing with the end of your dress. 

“I’ve thought about you in this dress since we left.” 

His servo moved to your inner thigh, and moved upwards towards your panties. A whimper left your mouth, his digits started to move from your clit to your entrance, he wasn't even in your panties yet. 

“Yet, I still don't know how i want to fuck you.” 

The dirty talk was getting to you, fueling the fire of desire and want within you, and with how close to your pussy he was, it was getting hard to stay patient. HIs digits moved the fabric of your panties aside, his digits circling your clit and occasionally going down to circle your entrance. A moan leaving your mouth, he was picking speed up and then slowing down in a steady pattern. If he kept this up, you’d be a moaning mess by the end of the night. 

“That feel good, enjoying yourself baby?” 

He spoke in a mocking tone. Of course it felt good, but you weren’t going to tell him that. He finally fully put his digits in you, rubbing against your walls before deciding to go in a scissoring motion. There was no more holding back, your head leaned back against his shoulder plating, and you did not stop moaning. 

“Yeah,” 

He paused, taking a moment to fully enjoy the sounds you were making, and change his pattern fingering. 

“I’d say you're enjoying it a little too much, it's gettin’ a little too tight. Getting close aren't ya.”  

All you could do in that moment was nod and whine out his name. The knot in your stomach is getting tighter and tighter by the second. 

“Yeah, let's speed this up.” 

His servo on your waist goes to circle your clit, you were already trying to last longer then you wanted, but you guess that is out of the window now. The sensation from his digits in you and circling your clit was getting to much, your hands came up to grab his helm 

“Jazz, please.” 

You were able to get out in between moans and whines. The knot was going to break any second now, and you wanted to be vocal about it. 

“Yeah, come baby.” 

You did just that, came all over his digits. His pace not once slowing or stopping, a steady pace as you rode your high out on his servo. Wiggling and grinding your hips into that same servo in an attempt to keep the high longer. 

“Don't worry, I’m not done just yet.” 

He moves to help you out of the dress straps and moves it down below your breast, servos moving to play with the flesh, pitching one nipple and rolling the other with his digits. A sharp gasp came from you, He pulled you into him, this time it was more aggressive as he littered your neck and jaw with kisses. 

“You're so pretty, you know that.” 

He lets go of you and pushes you face first into the mattress. 

“Pretty enough to take my spike.” 

The sound of his shuffling around behind, as you took your panties off and hiked you dress up above your hips, why not give him better access. He smacks his spike against your pussy, causing you to let out a dreamy sigh. After that he didn't waste any time, pushing his spike straight into you. His servos are going to grab your hips immediately after, his grip tighter than any other time. His pace was steady, he occasionally flexed his digits. He let out a few grunts here and there, but nothing was louder than your moans. 

“Primus, you take my spike so good.” 

You felt your walls clench down on his spike, now he really knew what dirty talk did to you. His servo came down with a smack, the noise jolting you from your haze, his pace picked up, and a loud groan came from him. 

“Yeah, keep that up baby. You might get me to come first.” 

He lifted your hips up and fucked into you, his grip brusing the soft skin. You knew there'd be some sort of imprint tomorrow. His spike felt like it was kissing the knot forming. You guessed his grip on your hips wasn't enough, because he had now moved one of his servos to grab the dress, bunching it up in his hand and holding onto it like he was in a rodeo and fucking into your pussy, and god you were enjoying it. Every little noise coming from you sounded like you were in a porno. 

“Yeah, you like that pretty girl.” 

His pace quickening, you felt like you were going to crumble, once that knot snapps you’d be no more, and that time was coming quicker and quicker by the second. You whined to jazz, he whined back at you. 

“What is it, you're gonna come?” 

He knew he was making you feel good, because god you were making him feel good.  You nodded the best you can through the movement from his pounding. 

“Oh primus, I love how you can’t control yourself,” 

His free servo coming down on your ass, that signature smack. He enjoyed watching the way your ass jiggled from the hit, he liked watching just like your boobs, the way they both jiggle, but more importantly the way he saw your skin move like waves when he brought your hips into his. God not only was your pussy intoxicating to him your entire being was intoxicating. You smile, the way you hand fit in his, your kisses, the simple way you looked at him, it was like watching you fall in love with him every time. You were far too intoxicating, just like his own brand and he just couldn't get enough. 

“If you wanna cum, I’ll let you, just one request.” 

Your arms are stretched in front of you on the bed, gripping the sheets beneath them.

“Anything, I’ll do anything,” 

You were practically moaning out your response, you’d simply do anything to come, to feel the warm welcome of hot desire. 

“Tell me who you belong to.” 

His free servo was now gripping your waist, pulling your hips to meet his thrusts every time. His grunts were starting to be more consistent, he was close. Far closer than you thought he’d be. You thought about his request, any other time you wouldn’t even think twice to say it. You thought about it like your life depended on it, but you really didn’t care. He's yours right now, not buried in someone else right now, he was buried deep in you, and that was simply all you needed to know. 

“You, I belong to you Jazz.” 

You grip on the sheets tightening. 

“Come on, keep it up. Gotta have everyone hear this. Can’t have anyone trying to take you now.” 

His servo let go of the dress now both on your hips, as he was hunched over, Spike going in and out with lewd noises as you both almost went over the edge. 

"Yours, I'm yours jazz.” 

You were almost not able to get your words out, you let out a few more moans before you crumbled, the last moan being dragged out as Jazz released into you. He let out a groan, thrusting his hips into you a few more times before stopping. The only thing heard within your bedroom was both you and Jazz trying to catch your breaths. 

“You're always so good.” 

You laughed, taking your time to recollect yourself before speaking. 

“Of course, You’re all I ever wanted.” 

[riacte]

Idly daydreaming about "choose which Rendog duo you like more" poll but it is appropriately and respectfully seeded, scheduled, managed, spreadsheet'd with the intention of trying to be as well run as the mcytblrsexyman poll which imo is still THE best run poll on the hellsite.

So it's gonna be like 16 duos, not defined as romantic/platonic, just see it as whatever/who they are. Then final 8, final 4, final 2, yay! And I need this to be seeded for my own sanity otherwise we'll get finale-level matchups in the first rounds and that will make everyone explode.

Seeding is beautiful (even if it's sort of unfair to lower quarter of entries). If a poll doesn't use seeding, then I don't trust it sorry.

Anyways I think this could actually work because Ren has so many duos and he does a lot of story, I think most duos have a lot of thoughtful moments that make for excellent propaganda. These aren't random fuckass Twitter duos firehusbands whatever who have interacted for one funny collab. There is history across the seasons and the years. There's storylines. There's babies involved. Multiple babies even. Whatever Ren and Cleo have going on. The king and his loyal knight. The queen and her guard. "But these can apply to different—" yes this is exactly why.

And I would say it's pretty obvious who the favourite is except they have been on a downright hilarious losing streak recently. And losing is their thing tbh. I'm so sorry.

Reasons I would not run this poll (other than lack of time and despite me liking spreadsheets):

Renskall would absolutely get steamrolled in Round 1 against a duo that almost certainly by definition came into existence later than Renskall. And I know it would be an embarrassing loss, think 30/70. This would dishearten me and I would scuttle into my cave and pull out videos from 2018.

False and Ren would most likely inevitably lose to yaoi and. And. Actually I'll keep my mouth shut for the sake of preserving peace.

Ren is so good at teaming up with people that I can probably imagine what the polls will look like anyway:

Final 2: Doc, Martyn

Final 4: False, Iskall (let me clown, he's here and he STAYS here)

And the 16 probably includes: Bdubs, Scar, Grian, Cleo, BigB, Etho, Lizzie, Cub, Xisuma...

Anyways. HomiesBeforeHoes 👍 (my hypothetical motto for the hypothetical campaigning)

[fagcrisis]

my friend ellis @jonny-dykeville wants to get into njpw, and i thought id write her a little summary of whats been going on lately! im posting it here in case its useful for anyone who wants to get into nooj but finds it a little too confusing (understandable) or has stopped watching in the last couple years and now wants to get back into it

this will include a list of matches at the end from 2023 that i think were good and/or are important to storylines! this is accurate to the day im writing it which is 2023/05/15

LINKS TO BE UPDATED

The landscape of New Japan Pro Wrestling has changed enormously in the past couple of months. For example if you told someone a year ago that Kazuchika Okada would hold a non singles belt, theyd laugh in your face.

So how did we get here?

google doc version

Your current champions

Sanada beat Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP heavyweight championship at Sakura Genesis, and has since defended it against Hiromu Takahashi, the current junior heavyweight champion. 

Hiromu won the belt at Wrestle Kingdom in a four-way match against Master Wato, El Desperado, and former champion Taiji Ishimori.

The IWGP women’s title was created last year and won by Kairi at Historic X-over. She lost the belt to Mercedes Moné, who was champion until Mayu Iwatani dethroned her recently.

Aussie Open hold the tag titles after defeating Bishamon, and they’ve gone on to win the Strong openweight tag team championships from the Motor City Machine Guns.

David Finlay is the NEVER openweight champion, bringing the belt back in to Bullet Club after Tama Tonga defeated Karl Anderson for it at Wrestle Kingdom.

Intergalactic Jetsetters (Kushida And Kevin Knight) finally ended the reign of Catch 2/2 (Tjp And Francesco Akira) as junior heavyweight tag team champions during the road to Wrestling Dontaku tour, thank god.

Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi and Tomohiro Ishii are the NEVER openweight six man champions winning the titles from Strong Style (El Desperado, Minoru Suzuki And Ren Narita). If you think that sentence is insane, don’t worry I’ll explain whats happening.

Zack Sabre Jr became the inaugural NJPW World TV champion, winning the tournament at Wrestle Kingdom by defeating Ren Narita, and he’s had some incredible defenses since (you might’ve seen him on ROH).

the KOPW trophy graduated to a belt after El Phantasmo broke it, and Taichi is the current provisional champion having defeated Shingo Takagi for it. 

Kenta lost the strong openweight championship to Hikuleo in the first defense of the belt in Japan, after winning it from Fred Rosser (with Juice interference).

at the time of writing this the Strong women’s title does exist but the tournament to decide its first owner has yet to be held (Resurgence may 21st).

Karl Anderson will pay for his crimes

Those who have been following me since november last year know that Suzuki-gun, a heel faction in NJPW led by Minoru Suzuki, has come to an end. I was inconsolable. There are multiple reasons for this happening, but the main one is Karl Anderson.

While Anderson is a member of Bullet Club, and in fall of last year was still the NEVER openweight champion, he is contracted to WWE and was on a handshake deal with NJPW, essentially promising he’ll appear at shows they book him for. There was a scheduling conflict with one of WWE’s saudi shows, and Anderson essentially ghosted the company not appearing for his title defense against Hikuelo, which meant I had to watch Yujiro Takahashi wrestle. anyway this all meant that New Japan lost faith in their freelancers, and because the majority of Suzuki-gun were on handshake deals, this meant the faction had to go. Their last match was on december 23rd (njpwworld) (bilibili link) and it was very emotional and beautiful, and I was incredibly sad.

Shota came back!

Shota Umino, who you may know as the protege of Jon Moxley, returned from excursion in the fall of last year. Young lions (NJPW trainees) are sent abroad to foreign promotions by the company to train and gather experience in different environments to Japan. Shota was in Britain for a time and he returned, challenging Will Ospreay for the US title he still held at the time. He lost but with this high profile title shot he joined the ranks of the young stars NJPWhas much faith vested in. 

This also includes Ren Narita, who you may not know because he was never adopted by a mean american man. he was trained by Katsuyori Shibata, earning the nickname Son of Strong Style and wearing similar gear to Shibata as well. The company seems to be trying to set him up to be Shibata’s successor, and he wrestles a similarly, clean technical style.

A recent addition to their ranks is Yota Tsuji, whose return I will explain later.

The IWGP women’s title

Women’s wrestling promotion Stardom and NJPW are both owned by Bushiroad. Because of this last year there was a crossover between the two promotions, which saw the first mixed tag matches in an NJPW ring. Great show, you should watch it. (njpwworld link) (bilibili link)

For this event, the IWGP women’s championship was created and won by Kairi. Now I have some thoughts about how Stardom is already full of accomplished talented women, and putting a women’s match on the card once in a blue moon isn’t a win for women in wrestling and you should maybe try watching Stardom instead (guide on how to do that). But I digress. Regardless of whether or not this is pandering, every match for the belt was undoubtedly incredible and I will be linking them all in the rec section.

A brief Wrestle Kingdom aside

You fucking know what happened at Wrestle Kingdom I shouldn’t have to explain this to you. Kenny Omega returned and defeated Will Ospreay for the US title, and Okada won his beloved IWGP belt back from Jay White, starting him down the path of leaving NJPW.

What you might not know is what happened at Wrestle Kingdom Night 2, which confusingly was held some weeks later. Wrestle Kingdom traditionally is a show between NOAH and NJPW, so Night 2 saw the two promotions pitch their most popular wrestlers against each other. Okada was set to fight Kaito Kiyomiya in a tag team match, but he thought this challenge beneath him and attempted to murder Kiyomiya ruling the match a no contest.

Later in february, at Keiji Muto’s retirement show, Okada did have to face off Kiyomiya in a singles bout, despite his protests that he is not some cheap whore (his words not mine). That entire show is incredibly good but not extremely relevant to NJPW storylines, as crossover events usually are not. (njpwworld) (unoffical link)

After Wrestle Kingdom, New Japan holds New Year’s Dash and the New Beginning shows where they set up new storylines that will likely last the whole year. Jay White challenges Hikuleo to a loser leaves Japan match, because he blames him and his brothers (Guerillas of Destiny) for Bullet Club weakening and his loss at Wrestle Kingdom. He promptly loses this match. Bummer. 

El Desperado refuses to accept that Suzuki-gun is over and joins Minoru Suzuki in defending Ren Narita from House of Torture’s dastardly attack, leading to the formation of their trios team; Strong Style. They then go on to defeat House of Torture for the NEVER openweight six man tag team titles. Now this is crazy but we dont have time to dwell on it because the other remnants of Suzuki-gun are also making moves that are considerably more insane.

Its time for: faction madness

There are a lot of factions in New Japan Pro Wrestling. like a lot. Every storyline is heavily driven by who is in what faction and where their allegiences lie. This might be confusing to you if you only watch AEW, a promotion where factions matter less than what Tony adds to commentary.

TMDK

Naturally ex-Suzuki-gun member and best technical wrestler in the known universe Zack Sabre Jr couldn’t simply remain in Hontai, the main body of New Japan where factionless members of the roster belong. Luckily he was a free agent for all of five seconds before his old australian buddies snatched him and his fresh tv championship up. TMDK, known as an australian faction despite a solid half not being from Australia, has suffered some losses in the past year. Jonah, their strongest member, a man who defeated even Kazuchika Okada, left Japan for WWE. Shane Haste and Mikey Nicholls, founding members of the faction and a tag team under the same name, have failed to succeed in winning Tag League in fall of last year. Safe to say, they needed a win. Zack has teamed with them during his time in NOAH, so it was only logical that he would return to his old friends. They even recruited a young lion, Kosei Fujita, who became the first young lion in a faction if you don’t count Hikuleo which was a slightly different situation. TMDK also includes Bad Dude Tito (or Big Teets) over in the States.

The addition of Zack really reinvigorated the faction. Shane and Mikey challenged and failed to defeat Aussie Open for the tag titles, and Robbie Eagles left Chaos for more australian pastures, joining the faction when he challenged Hiromu Takahashi for his championship. Robbie also lost but TMDK didn’t let these setbacks stop them from cutting the weirdest promos after every match and staunchly insisting Fujita (who they’ve nicknamed Big Fooj) will be the first young lion to win a championship.

United Empire

Will Ospreay is no longer the IWGP US heavyweight champion. After losing to Kenny Omega he threw a hissy fit and declared that he would give professional wrestling one more year. He also entered the New Japan Cup, a tournament for the right to challenge for the IWGP championship. Unfortunately in a match against his friend and stablemate Mark Davis (of Aussie Open and ass size fame) he injured his shoulder which put him out of action until about last week. He won the 1pw world title though, so he’s fine.

Other than that, the faction has been doing fairly well for themselves. After a titanic struggle against Bishamon, Aussie Open won the tag titles and have gone on to defend them against TMDK and somehow, Best Friends on AEW television. They also won the Strong tag titles, and Kyle Fletcher managed to botch a moonsault in both matches. You’ve definitely seen them even if you don’t watch NJPW, their schedule is insane and they have a banger of a match practically on a weekly average. 

Also tag champions in the faction were Catch 2/2, who held the junior titles until fairly recently. They’ve had great defenses against YOH and his new tag partner, Lio Rush (more on that in a second) and Douki and Yoshinobu Kanemaru. What you need to know about Catch 2/2 is that TJP is a PragerU weirdo and Akira is good albeit italian.

UE also includes Jeff Cobb, who you might’ve seen challenging for Kenny Omega’s US title on Dynamite. He is incredible I don’t have anything else to say. He also kind of thinks flat earthers have a point. He’s really good though.

Also in the faction are Aaron Henare, men’s rights weirdo who challenged and lost to Shingo Takagi for the KOPW belt and Great O Khan who is somehow the Revpro champion. He is notable for having a nice bow in his hair and screeching. The most recent recruit to the faction is Dan Moloney, who unfortunately is fairly unknown to me. He joined the faction as a junior heavyweight and subsequently entered the Best of Super Juniors Tournament, which I will explain later.

Chaos

I’ve previously described Chaos as Hontai 2.0, because that’s really what it is. Lead by Kazuchika Okada, Chaos was the original heel faction in NJPW, founded by Shinsuke Nakamura. Nowadays it is a loose collection of allegiances that confusingly includes the entire Best Friends faction in AEW. Yes, that includes Trent’s mum Sue. Since becoming faces, Chaos members regularly team with Hontai because it all doesn’t really matter. 

Kazuchika Okada defeated Hiroshi Tanahashi at Battle in the Valley, and then asked him to tag together. They named themselves the Dream Team, and I only briefly pondered how well it ended the last time Tana teamed with a younger star. Anyways I’m sure this will go fine. They challenged Okada’s fellow Chaos members Bishamon for their tag titles they still held at that time, and sadly lost that match. They defeated the team of Shota Umino and Ren Narita, and then once again failed to obtain gold in a 3-way match against the Motor City Machine Guns and Aussie Open (who won). After Okada lost his belt, they recruited Tomohiro Ishii, who doesn’t like Tanahashi and doesn’t want to team with him because he isn’t in Chaos. Despite this, they managed to defeat Strong Style for the NEVER openweight six man championships.

Bishamon I’ve covered sufficiently enough I think, they are the team of Hirooki Goto who recently celebrated his 20th anniversary in professional wrestling and YOSHI-HASHI who used to be incredibly horrible and is less bad recently. They are fun and I like them.

YOH and SHO were a junior tag team in Chaos until SHO turned heel, joining Bullet Club. This left YOH in a sort of strange limbo, where he contemplated quitting wrestling and pursuing his more artistic ambitions (he is a musician and an artist). Rocky Romero, also a member of Chaos, got him and Lio Rush together to team for Junior Tag League, and they ended up winning the tournament! Although they failed to defeat catch 2/2 at Wrestle Kingdom, and Lio got injured, teaming with him seemed to bring YOH’s confidence back. He’s been wrestling slightly differently and with more self-assurence. The pair both separately challenged and lost to Hiromu Takahashi, two incredible matches that I will link below. Not even these losses brought YOH’s confidence down though, and he’s entered BOSJ alongside Lio although they are in different blocks.

Also members of Chaos are Rocky Romero, Best Friends (including Kris Statlander, Orange Cassidy, Sue, and I think quite possibly Danhausen), Toru Yano who is kind of a funny little man, and Tomohiro Ishii.

Los Ingobernables de Japon

Led by Tetsuya Naito, the tweener group is more of a loose collection of talented individuals than your regular faction. LIJ has a policy of letting their members forge their own paths and create their own success, instead of letting them fall back on the power of the group. 

Maybe the only exception to this rule is Hiromu Takahashi, who owes a lot of his success to the faction as well as his mentor Tetsuya Naito. Hiromu is very talented and has a very unique style both in his wrestling and his fashion sense. Unbiased corner ahead I like him a lot. He holds junior wrestlers in very high regard and recently organized the All Star Junior festival to showcase junior heavyweights from all around japan (njpwworld ppv) (vk link). He has a plush cat named Daryl. Hiromu is kind of the ace of the junior division right now, he is on his fifth title reign and is trying to defend the belt 12 times to beat the current defense record of 11 held by Minoru Tanaka. Currently he is 4 defenses into this streak, having defeated YOH, Lio Rush, Robbie Eagles and Yoshinobu Kanemaru. Despite being champion he entered BOSJ, a tournament he’s won four times, three times in a row. If he wins, he’ll get to hand pick his opponent at Dominion.

I have no clue what to say about Tetsuya Naito. To quote my friend Jay, “it’s naito. he is an indescribable force of non-functional knees and the driest hair you've ever seen. he takes ten years to remove his entrance gear. he is naito”. You fucking know who Tetsuya Naito is.

This year, the main thing he’s done is defeating his mentor Keiji Muto at his retirement show in Febuary (njpwworld link) (vk link). He has a very hands off approach towards leading his group, sort of letting everyone figure their things out, which is why he didn’t really seem worried about his match against his stablemate Sanada in the New Japan Cup. You can imagine his surprise when Sanada not only defeated him but then declared that he would be leaving the faction, but more on that later. He also recently had a singles match against DOUKI, which was incredible.

Also members of LIJ are Shingo Takagi, winner of KOPW 2022 and former KOPW 2023 provisional champion, and also living legend. He made his name in Dragon Gate, a different japanese promotion you should also watch (I’m not at all being held at gunpoint by people whose names start with J), Bushi and Titan, who are both junior heavyweight luchadors I don’t know as much about as I should. They’re really good and they are both in BOSJ this year.

Bullet Club

Do I even need to explain. Don’t worry I will. 

Jay White lost his loser leaves Japan match to Hikuleo, but there was hope. He promised Gedo he would go to America and wrestle on Strong and right his wrongs. So obviously he immediately lost a loser leaves New Japan match to Eddie Kingston, barring him from ever wrestling in a New Japan ring ever again. After weeks of radio silence, he showed up on Dynamite, forming Bullet Culb Gold (2 bullet 2 club) with Juice Robinson and you all know what happened after that.

It’s spring which means it’s Bullet Club infighting season. After Jay’s loss, his long time rival David Finlay waltzed into the ring all goth and angry, cutting a promo about how the japanese fans never appreciated him and he is an outsider wherever he goes. If this didn’t make it clear to you that he was the new leader, don’t worry it wasn’t clear to me or El Phantasmo either. 

ELP was friends with Jay White, and made the rest of the Club agree that they will let Jay ride off into the sunset. A peaceful transfer of power is however impossible in Bullet Club, which is kind of a Stanford prison experiment for closeted gay men. It started bothering Phantasmo, that everyone in his faction so readily accepted Finlay as the new leader, like they weren’t fully behind Jay only a week ago. And anyone who questions the leader has to go.

Then came a months long game of gay betrayal chicken. Every postmatch, Phantasmo would assure Finlay that they were doing it for the club, refuse to too sweet the new leader, and the two slapping eachother in place of a tag. Meanwhile the faces in Hontai were increasingly more accepting towards ELP, Shota Umino even gave him one of his bracelets. The tension came to a boil at Sakura Genesis, where in a tag team match against Guerillas of Destiny and Master Wato, Phantasmo refused to commit the clubs usual heel antics and was brutally kicked out in response. Despite his close friendship with Taiji Ishimori and Kenta, both men readily betrayed him for David Finlay.

Phantasmo returned as a face to beat Finlay up after he defeated Tama Tonga for the NEVER belt, and the two have a title match set at Dominion.

As I mentioned Kenta and Taiji Ishimori are both members of Bullet Club, and Finlay recently recruited Clark Connors to be the clubs newest junior. He entered BOSJ alongside Taiji. Gedo, the head booker of NJPW is also a member of BC but he mainly stands ominously in the background and in kayfabe doesn’t have a massive role in storylines.

HOUSE OF TORTURE

I have to explain what’s going on here. Bullet Club has sort of a subesction? Called House of Torture. They’re only really part of BC in name only, and merch sales. Their thing is gratuitous cheating, if one HoT member has a match, the rest of them aren’t far behind making every match a handicap. Their members are EVIL, the leader of the group and former LIJ member, Yujiro Takahashi the incredible slow motion man whose joints creak audibly with every move, Dick Togo and SHO, who joined after betraying YOH and turning heel. SHO is actually pretty good but the presence of HoT at every match really ruins. Everything. I try not thinking about them.

JUST 5 GUYS

NOW baby. The reason I’m even writing this. The worst faction name in the history of pro wrestling. This faction is made of four ex-Suzuki-gun members and Sanada. Originally called Just Four Guys when Taka Michinoku, Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru and DOUKI announced they would be forming a faction at New Year’s Dash. Taka made some baseless claims about how they will defeat everyone and change the landscape of New Japan. He also came up with their new catchphrase “You already die”. Commentary and everyone else immediately dismissed them as a joke that will last maybe a couple of months. Oh how wrong we were.

Initially, the group did not have much success. Douki and Uncle Nobu lost to Catch 2/2 in their title match against them, Taka kept getting pinned and they failed to deliver on their promises to destroy everyone who stood in their way.

Taichi, as their only heavyweight, entered the New Japan Cup. His first match was against Sanada, a man he’s had some history with when he was still tagging with Zack Sabre Jr as Dangerous Tekkers. Sanada was a man not really renowned for anything, he hasn’t seen any singles success since joining LIJ by helping Tetsuya Naito cheat, except for a US title run cut short with no defenses due to an injury. He had blonde hair and the best or the worst move in pro wrestling history, depending on if you ask my friend Ryan or me. He never hits a moonsault. I don’t think Naito even knew who he was.

Safe to say, absolutely no one expected Sanada to defeat Taichi, much less his superior Naito. What we expected the least is for him to announce he is leaving LIJ for Just 4 Guys, which was now to be renamed JUST 5 GUYS. With dark hair, a clean shaven face and soon, new gear as well, Sanada really found his footing among this motley crew, the way he never managed in his seven years during LIJ. He went on to blaze through the competition in the Cup, winning it and subsequently defeating Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP world heavyweight championship. Absolutely no one has expected this to happen, ever. Yet somehow, it is also one of the coolest things to happen, ever.

His former faction members in LIJ mostly seemed to just sort of accept he left, except for Hiromu. He said while he understood Sanada’s reasons for leaving, he felt betrayed. Hiromu challenged Sanada to a match for the heavyweight championship. No junior heavyweight has been able to defeat the heavyweight champion in the history of the company, although this match is not the first of its kind. 

When Sanada defeated Hiromu, the returning Yota Tsuji walked out into the ring and beat him up, held up the LIJ fist and carried Hiromu out of the ring. We don’t really know if this means he’ll be joining the faction, but it’s very likely, and the two have a match set at Dominion.

Obviously other stuff has happened but this is already 4000 words long and I still have things to explain to you. 

Whats happening right now

As I’m writing this, the 30th Best of the Super Juniors is just beginning. BOSJ is a round robin style tournament, just like the G1 where wrestlers are divided into two blocks and everyone fights everyone in their block. Usually, the winners of the two blocks face off against each other to win the tournament, but this year, the winner of each block faces off against the person who came second in the other block, and the winners of those matches are the finalists. The winner has the right to challenge for the IWGP junior heavyweight championship at Dominion.

This year’s participants are as follows.

I think this is absolutely the perfect time to get int New Japan. The junior division is full of incredibly talented wrestlers who focus more on fast paced high flying style matches and every one of them is easy to watch and very entertaining. The entire tour will be broadcast with full english coverage.

How do I watch all of this

New Japan conveniently has a streaming service called NJPW world, membership is 999 yen per month. Dont forget to toggle it to english in the upper left corner! Most shows have english commentary and in my opinion it is pretty good commentary. Even if you don’t want to pay for the site, it has a schedule page (upper right corner) which even displays multiple timezones, and links to the card for every upcoming show.

The site also has some free content, for example the backstage comments after every show. Backstage comments are essentially short interviews with the wrestlers directly after every match, which makes for very fun adrenaline fuelled nonsense. Search backstage comment on the site, or check the njpwworld youtube channel. The videos always have subtitles, but it takes the transcribers time, subs are usually out a day after shows air.

PIRACY 

In case you’d like to sail the high seas, you have a couple of options.

Watching show’s live I would recommend watchprowrestling.org for. They upload the shows and you can watch them live as well with a bit of delay.

If you’re looking for older stuff, you should try searching on bilibili (dont be intimidated by the language barrier, its quite easy to use) or this specific user on vk.com.

MATCHES TO WATCH

Title changes and defenses:

Kazuchika Okada vs Jay White (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Kenny Omega vs Will Ospreay (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Hiromu Takahashi vs Master Wato vs El Desperado vs Taiji Ishimori (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Zack Sabre Jr vs Ren Narita FREE MATCH

Zack Sabre Jr vs Tomohiro Ishii FREE MATCH

Zack Sabre Jr vs Shota Umino FREE MATCH

Zack Sabre Jr vs Tom Lawlor FREE MATCH

Zack Sabre Jr vs Jeff Cobb FREE MATCH

Catch 2/2 vs YOH and Lio Rush (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Catch 2/2 vs Intergalactic Jetsetters (njpwworld) (unofficial link 2:35:08)

Hiromu Takahashi vs Lio Rush (njpwworld) 

Hiromu Takahashi vs YOH (njpwworld) (unofficial link2:48:13)

Hiromu Takahashi vs Robbie Eagles (njpwworld)

Hiromu Takahashi vs Yoshinobu Kanemaru (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Kazuchika Okada vs Shingo Takagi (njpwworld)

Kazuchika Okada vs Sanada (njpwworld)

Sanada vs Hiromu Takahashi (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Aussie Open vs Bishamon (njpwworld)

Aussie Open vs TMDK (njpwworld)

Aussie Open vs Motor City Machine Guns vs the Dream Team (Okada & Tanahashi) (njpwworld ppv)

Kairi vs Mayu Iwatani  (njpwworld)

Kairi vs Tam Nakano (njpwworld)

Kairi vs Mercedes Moné (unofficial link)

Mercedes Moné vs Kairi vs Hazuki (njpwworld)

Mercedes Moné vs Mayu Iwatani (njpwworld)

Tama Tonga vs El Phantasmo (njpwworld)

Tama Tonga vs David Finlay (unofficial link)

Taichi vs Shingo Takagi (njpwworld) (unofficial link 1:44:00)

Strong Style vs Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Hikuelo vs Kenta (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Story matches

Tetsuya Naito vs Sanada (njpwworld)

Jay White vs Hikuleo (njpwworld)

Jay White vs Eddie Kingston (njpwworld) (unofficial link 1:04:00)

Bullet Club (David Finlay, Kenta, Taiji Ishimori & El Phantasmo) vs Guerillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga, Hikuleo & Jado) & Master Wato (njpwworld link)

just fun

Mark Davis vs Will Ospreay (njpwworld) (unofficial link)

Mark Davis vs EVIL (njpwworld)

Tetsuya Naito vs DOUKI (njpwworld) (unofficial link 2:11:32)

El Desperado vs Tomohiro Ishii (njpwworld ppv)

Shota Umino vs Tetsuya Naito (njpwworld)

Hiromu Takahashi vs Speedball Mike Bailey FREE SHOW

Taichi vs Will Ospreay (njpwworld)