#i just really like and respect their voices and the way they harmonize and think she could do a truly masterful rendition of some

[brittlebutch]

realizing that it sounds kind of mean for me to be referring to this fic as the “cringe loser” fic if you don’t have the extensive lexicon i’ve created in my head for the lengthy opinion essay i haven’t written about how most people don’t actually want “good” autist-rep, they want “cool” rep even at the expense of ‘accuracy’. just believe me i say “cringe loser” with the highest degree of absolute affection

[fetaspeak]

Like ask yourself

If your corp is for the betterment of people or so the ceo has a chance of being the hih master when the inevitable collapse theyre using their power to provoke/prevent ppl from saving themselves from happens.

[mangoshorthand]

Flesh and Blood- [Five Hargreeves x F Reader]. Ch1 (Hard Feelings Part 3)

SUMMARY: As Christmas approaches, everything between you and Five is perfect...until a destructive temporal anomaly gets in the way. Five is convinced another permutation of himself is to blame. Nothing's simple when you're in a relationship Five Hargreeves: could your loyalties be tested in a way unique to him? Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen

It's a March Holiday fic. Just what you always wanted, right?

Chapter One: Another Apocalypse

It’s Saturday morning. When you left him, the bedroom window and curtains were cracked so that pale-toned winter sunlight bathed the bed in a slanting shard. The chilly air felt pleasant on your skin and clean in your lungs, warm as you both were between the bedclothes.

He was asleep with his head turned from you, the light and shadow falling on his face. The fine hairs on his neck stood on end with the cold air. He had been snoring very lightly. The rays of light and very slight breeze tangled in his hair, fluttering it occasionally. You might have wanted him to wake, yet you could also watch him sleep for hours; you could be happy here, feeling his warmth. 

But your bladder was no respecter of such sentimentality. It soon became imperative to leave the bed. After relieving yourself and taking a painkiller for a threatening headache, you’d make your way down to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.

You try to be quiet as you re-enter the bedroom but he stirs almost immediately.

“Mmm…coffee?” his voice is hazy.

“Yep. Good morning.”

“Morning, dear one. C’mere”

You put down the breakfast tray and rejoin him on the bed. He wraps his arms around you and you lay your head on his chest. He puts his mouth and nose against your hair and inhales. 

It's been a blissful six months since the JUICED scandal. Since you started paying the (largely symbolic) rent to Reginald's estate, you'd felt better; stronger. As a result there's a new feeling between you; you can riff, harmonize and improvise around one another like a string duo- switching who plays the base notes as needed. True, it's not as if he's been seriously tested again since the JUICED scandal but, so far, it's been...nice.

Again, the breeze plays around your entwined bodies. He’s sure he can feel the rush of serotonin as he breaths in your scent…serotonin or love; call it what you want. 

"How are you today?" he asks.

"Another headache."

"Really?" You can hear the worry in his voice.

"I took a painkiller: it's fine." then, to distract him, “How about we go out today?"

He grunts.

“Gonna need at least three coffees.”

You extract yourself from his arms and bring him over a cup. He takes a grateful sip.

“Ahhh. That’s good. Do I smell bagels?”

You hand him one plate and grab your own, sitting back down beside him with your own mug. For a few minutes, you eat and drink in companionable silence. Then, with your breakfast eaten, you turn to him.

“Shall we go Christmas shopping?”

He groans, “I think I'd rather scoop out my own testes with a grapefruit spoon.”

“I could arrange that for you?”

He grumbles. You kneel on the bed and swing one leg over him.

“Watch it!” he puts his coffee cup on the nightstand to avoid you knocking it out of his hands. 

You sit on his knee, facing him.

“Come on,” you wheedle, “we can go and get cocoa and walk in the park and go to the German markets.”

“Kill me,” he groans but he’s smiling too, bringing his hands to your hips.

“You’re the one with the huge family to buy for. Let’s get all our gifts out of the way.”

He sighs, rolling his eyes.

“Fine.”

“Yes!” you say, pumping your fist, “but you have to promise not to be surly. Ooh, and let’s go ice skating!”

“NO ice skating!”

You laugh and kiss him. He responds enthusiastically, laughing a little into your mouth.

“I gotta draw the line at ice skating but I’ll do the rest.” 

Five’s enjoying himself more than he wants to admit. Today, your joy is infectious in a way that makes you radiant. 

His Christmases since arriving home had always been participated in out of obligation. He’d only really bought gifts for his nephew- he and his brothers didn’t often exchange them, although they all got together for a meal. 

Though he’d been with you last year, you were still recovering in hospital from your encounter with Michael Monroe so hadn’t been able to go Christmas crazy...which he's just learning is natural to you.

Despite feeling slightly sick from the glühwein, this is undeniably pleasant. He even found himself fully engaged in picking out a gift for Lila, of all people. He'd even gone so far as to recommend one bracelet over another- and it was the bracelet he thought Lila would like more, too. 

Now he’s standing in a store debating the merits of various gingerbread houses. He's laden with all your shopping bags as well as his own because you keep leaving them on the floor in your excitement to make the next purchase. If he were a less cynical man, he might call this adorable rather than annoying.

While Five valiantly tries to remain cynical, it’s hard. God knows he is not an easily led man, yet he's helplessly borne along in the wake of your excitement.

"It's style over substance,"  he says, indicating the giant gingerbread house you're standing beside, "if it's gonna get eaten then it's the taste that matters. Santi will demolish whatever we buy in five minutes anyway so what's the point?"

When you look at him, you're impassioned to a point that makes him want to laugh.

"Your shitty-ass gingerbread house doesn't even have a second floor. This is a gothic revival gingerbread house. Look at the windows! Look at the little wreath on the door! Look at the roof gables!"

"You're gonna eat it, not move in....and it's ninety dollars!"

"Oh fuck off. I've seen your bank balance, Five Hargreeves. This is Christmas."

He shakes his head at the absurdity of it all.

"You know, for an atheist with criticisms of capitalism, you're pretty into this."

You pout, forcing a smile from him. Despite this, he still tries to dissuade you.

"You know it will have gone stale by Christmas, anyway.

"You think I’m stupid? I'm not saying we get one now. I'm thinking to PRE-ORDER."

You give him a look of impatient, electrified enthusiasm, shining eyes bulging out of your head, eyebrows in your hairline and corners of your mouth turning down. You look entirely mad.

And then he’s impelled to take action by something stronger than his reason.

“You want to meet me on the square in an hour?” he asks

“Why?”

He tilts his head noncommittally. 

“Maybe I’ve got…stuff to buy.”

“Hmm. Ok,” you say, grabbing him by the front of his coat, “maybe I got stuff to buy too.”

Then, you kiss him briefly on the lips.

And there's your smell, your soft lips, your smile….

He doesn’t consciously know where his feet are taking him until he’s there and staring in the window. How the hell has he come to this?

He’s not an easy man to buy for. His birthday back in October was tricky enough. He’s been experimenting more recently with clothing beyond suits...but you don’t just want to buy him a shirt or something: he's not your Dad. You find yourself in an antique bookstore with creaky floorboards. It smells strongly of furniture polish and beeswax. The mahogany counter and bookshelves shine with them.

 It’s one of those places where the salespeople don’t fully trust you unless you look like a fellow collector. The tweed-suited man eyes you with benign suspicion as you enter. He takes his feet off his desk and stands to assist rather than letting you browse and potentially damage his stock.

“Good afternoon Ma'am."

"Hi," you smile.

"Are you looking for something in particular?”

“Uh- just a Christmas gift for my partner.”

The guy retains his polite smile, but you think you see something die behind his eyes nevertheless.

“Do you have anything in mind?”

You were overjoyed with your purchase.  It had set you back a pretty penny, but it was more than worth it when you imagined his face. By the end of the encounter, the salesman had become much more unctuous. 

One of the advantages of living all but rent-free in the family compound of an eccentric dead billionaire was being able to save pretty much your whole paycheck.This was aided by the fact that said paycheck had increased significantly a couple of months ago. 

You'd finally achieved the promotion you privately thought you'd deserved for eighteen months. You'd like to think that the higher-ups simply noticed all your hard work but this would be optimism to the point of stupidity. You'd become a bit of an office celebrity since the JUICED scandal.

The domino mask you'd worn at the press-conference did not shield your identity from those who already knew you. You knew the news footage had been widely shared between whispering co-workers. For weeks afterwards, you'd catch people looking from you to their computers and back again. In addition, Neil from HR told a pretty convincing story about how he'd seen you meet and be driven away by 'that Hargreeves boy from the papers' in a reconditioned Corvette Stingray. 

The book you'd bought for Five was a rare find and couldn’t be more perfect for him - it was beautiful, meaningful and came with that old-book smell that you’ve come to associate with him. 

He collects voraciously, spending hours re-stitching broken bindings and restoring or replacing worn endsheets. Having lived most of his life in a ruined library where most of the books had been completely destroyed, he hoarded books on almost any subject. The older they were, the more he valued them. He's never confirmed this, but you think that perhaps his love of these aging survivors is a deeply personal identification. 

Another headache has been threatening for the last quarter of an hour, so you sit down on a bench to wait for him. Shoppers pass with the bustle of human activity. You let your head lean forward a little and close your eyes.

And then, a rushing sound and whip-like crack.

You feel a ripple like electrical wind pass through your skin. Your stomach flips as if you’ve just missed a step walking downstairs. You and many of the people around you let out little exclamations of surprise- as you look sharply up, you see people's hair and shopping bags rustle as the almost-invisible force, (whatever it is), passes. A man standing a few feet away begins to scream. His body is caught in what looks like a film of blue light into which energy courses with a thrumming that hurts your already aching head. As he yells, fights and flails to free himself, it warps and flexes with his movements. Sparks fly with a rumbling sound like thunder. 

You only have time to gasp in horror before Five blinks into being, still holding shopping bags. He raises his arms in an instinctive protective gesture, one over his own head and the other holding you back and behind him. You both watch as, in under a second, the void consumes the shrieking man and collapses in on itself with a buzz and flumping sound. Dropping the bags, Five’s hand smacks against his forehead.

“SHIT.”

People around you scream, the man who had been beside the void’s victim panics and yells:

“Kevin! KEVIN?”

Five ignores him and looks wildly around. He scans the sky, the ground, surrounding buildings and then the crowd. His body language has taken on that frenetic energy that comes over him when on the job. He pats down his own body, searching urgently.

“Pen. I need a pen. Anything.”

You pat your pockets uselessly, knowing there’s nothing there either.

“Why don’t I carry pens?”, his hand flies back to his forehead he looks around desperately, before yelling, “SHIT!” again.

“What is it?”

“I don’t…it can’t be…wait- is this stage one? No…because then I wouldn’t have asked that. Or is that what I want me to think?” he scratches his neck distractedly, his face lined with mistrust.

“Five?”

He begins to pace.

“It was me. I felt it.”

“What?”

His wild eyes find yours. He hesitates for a fraction of a second and then tells you:

“That was my power. I know the feeling. I felt it from across the street. That-” he points at the yelling man, “-was me. That was one of my temporal portals. What the hell do I think I’m doing?"

His hands come out to feel the air in front of him in the direction of the vanished portal. He draws in breath through his nose as if searching for a scent.

"It feels...like nonsense." His eyebrows contract even tighter. Again, his eyes rove your surroundings and then, finding nothing, he yells with frustration. 

“WHERE ARE YOU, ASSHOLE?” he screams into the crowded street. After a few more moments of pacing, he snatches up the bags and grabs your hand.

“Come on, if he’s going to go anywhere, it'll be the Academy.”

Back at home, you sit downstairs in the living room. Five’s rapidly filling a notebook with scribbled calculations and mutters to himself compulsively. He’s been like this all the way home, speaking in random disconnected phrases that don’t mean anything and don’t seem to answer your questions: "Doesn't work with the fifth principle" or "Is this a Dallas permutation?"

“Five"

He jerks his head as if displacing an irksome fly.

"Can you explain this more?”

He holds up a finger imperiously and continues scribbling for a few seconds before looking up at you, his pen poised above the paper as if it’s taking all his self-control to pause its track across the page.  

“I will. I promise. Just give me a few minutes. Get them all here- all of my brothers. Now. We need a meeting,” he holds your eyes for a second, clearly seeking affirmation that this satisfies you for now. 

You nod your acceptance; your appreciation of this consideration. 

Five took a lot of persuading to join the Hargreeves family group chat, but since giving in, he’s been a solid contributor. Now, as you message the group, your message appears right below one from this morning in which he joked that he used Lila’s lost razor to shave his balls. 

You: Emergency meeting asap. Five says apocalypse-level shit. @all

Diego: Fuck.

Sloane: With you in 30 minutes

Viktor: Coming. 30 minutes too.

You: @Klaus??

Lila: Try the 3rd floor bathroom.

It took you having to nearly knock the door off its hinges to get Klaus to respond . He’d been listening to headphones and seemed mildly surprised when he popped his head around the door to find you looking exasperated. When, with a towel wrapped around his waist, you and he re-enter the living room, Lila and Diego are attempting to question an impatient Five, still scribbling incomprehensible math.

“Shut UP. I’m nearly done.”

Lila matches his exasperated tone.

“The hurry the fuck up!" 

Finally, he throws the book down and stands.

“Okay: I’ll explain it to the others when they get here. We all need to be on the lookout for another me.”

Klaus and Diego let out sighs of frustrated weariness as Lila says:

“Oh great. Younger or older?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is, there’s a version of me running around making real shitty time portals to suck up Christmas shoppers."

“Why would you do that?” Diego asks, as if stung at Five’s behavior.

“I. don’t. know." the toes of one foot begin to tap, "I just know it was my power and the math on the relativity vector is nonsense.”

He runs his fingers through his hair, sweeping it out of his eyes.

 “Time travel’s a crapshoot at the best of times but this…I’d barely even call this time travel. I doubt if that guy it caught even exists anymore. He’s probably in a thousand pieces all over the twelfth and thirteenth centuries.”

He turns to you, looking at you intensely.

“You were right there. Did you see where it came from? Did you see me?”

“No,” you say, “I felt it though. I felt it ripple.”

“Are you absolutely sure? Maybe a kid in the shorts, like in the painting? Or older, with a mustache, probably in a suit?”

You cast your mind back, “No, I didn’t see you. All I saw was the guy.”

He accepts this.

“All in all- this is not good. I know things are more flexible at the Commission now but Herb’s gotta be pissed about whatever I’m doing.”

He paces again, looking down at the last few pages of his notebook.

“This could be another apocalypse, people.”

“Really,” opines Klaus, “when I just got my hair nice?”

Again, Five sits behind his father’s desk across from Herb, whiskey poured for them both. He arrived within a second after Five used his personal pneumatic pipeline to contact him. 

“I have to tell you Number Five, so far, we’re as clueless as you on this. The switchboard gave us the alert about the temporal anomaly but that’s as much as we know.”

He sips his drink, looking troubled. “Can you give me any insight on why a version of you might be running these ‘experiments’?”

“Wish I could Herb. The equations as far as I can detect them make no sense. I would have told you that I’d never try it...if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.”

He pushes his notebook across the desk to Herb. He scrutinizes a few pages of calculations, face the picture of confused concern. When he's seen enough, he looks back up at Five. 

“You know we may have to take action on this.”

Five meets Herb’s eyes. It’s not a threat, not aggressive; he simply says it as an uncomfortable fact. 

“Well it’s not me me. It’s different timeline me. I can promise you I don’t intend to start spitting out nonsense woodchipper time portals,"

Five placed his glass down on the desk, leaned back and sighed.

"He’s just likely to give you a lot of trouble.”

Herb just drinks his scotch, not meeting Five's eyes.

You lie in bed together that night.

“I need you to be vigilant,” says his voice, out of the dark, “the other versions of me…part of my power means we can exist almost independently of each other across different timestreams if we do the right math. At least...theoretically. I can’t answer for my motivations under different circumstances.”

“What do you mean? Vigilant?”

He sighs, “It might be a version of me that wouldn’t care if he hurt you.”

You stay silent.

“Maybe from before I met you. Or it could just be a me who’s traveled back. So you need to keep your eyes open.”

“Ok.”

“I need you to watch me closely too. If the other me gets too close, I’m going to develop paradox psychosis. I thought I felt a bit of it today- it’s what made me sure I was nearby. Problem is, the first stage of the psychosis is denial, so I won’t be much help when the time comes."

"Huh?

"You shouldn't really be around your doppelgangers. It's not good for you. There are seven stages you need to be on the look out for." He holds up his hands and counts them off on his fingers. "We have denial, itching, extreme thirst and urination, excessive gas, acute paranoia, uncontrolled perspiration and then homicidal rage."

You laugh nervously, "Sounds like your average Saturday night."

"Very funny." he says, though unamused, "If you see any of the warning signs, we’ll know I’m around. Then we can assess the situation and do what has to be done. I'll need you to keep a close eye on me. I might get...unmanageable but if I'll listen to anyone, I'll listen to you. ”

You lie there silently. Your overtaxed mind races. Homicidal rage? Versions of Five that could hurt you? He rolls over and turns to you, you feel his breath on your cheek.

“I know this is a lot to get your head around. I haven’t myself. But we’ll manage. Whatever it takes.”

Under the sheets, his hand strokes your hip.

Tag list: (please comment to be added or removed.) @dilfjohhny , @sunsunhe, @w4stedtr4sh, @nevbrooke-555, @theredvelvetbitch, @td-miley01, @five-hxrgreeves

Masterpost

Alternatively, join me on A03.  Here is a link to the whole series

[sarahphantom1234]

Octavinelle x Reader

Warning: Yandere, OOC, Thalassophobia.

_________________

From a young age, I did not like the sea.

Or sea creatures.

I'M afraid of it.

The feeling of being pressed deeply, hearing nothing, the liquid suffocating, invading the mind, thinking that it has become a corpse for the sea monsters to eat, it is not pleasant. little bit.

I admire divers, sailors... Or simply people who like to swim.

Because of that, when I came to the new world, to the new school called Night Raven College, I was disgusted with the sea creatures of the Octavinelle family, even though they were only a few, very few.

But because of that, the Leech twins often came to talk to me, and I did nothing but bow my head to avoid looking at their sharp teeth.

When I saw it, I thought that my own body had been bitten in half, the blood was wide and patched everywhere, and a little bit of consciousness felt the pain of dying over and over again, then being swallowed. gobble.

I fear them.

I tried to hide from those two as much as I could.

But maybe it only works a few times.

They could find me anywhere, and so I was dragged to Mostro Lounge.

I heard that the head of Octavinelle's house was an octopus, named Azul Ashengrotto, imagining those proboscis squeezing me, I shivered with fear.

But what's wrong with that senior Azul? Every time he saw me, he blushed, even if it was fleeting, and then faced me like a gentleman.

I don't really care, I'm uncomfortable or "afraid" around them, but I still respect them.

Respect like the seniors.

Just like that, ticking and ticking, as time passed, I thought they would get bored, but maybe I was wrong, they liked me even more than before.

Just dragging me around, going back and forth at Mostro Lounge, I'm so bored.

But miraculously, they asked me to go to the beach to play, I quickly refused, after that time, I also tried to hide from them more.

Maybe this time because I was determined to be very careful, so whenever I met their silhouette, I would run- hide or run very fast.

Just like that, I kept on hiding, the last time I hid was around recess, because of that I left my friends and ran away, I immediately hid in a bush, crouched down. To fit the shade of the tree, cover your mouth to keep from making a sound.

I feel the chill shivering, but isn't the weather warm right now? Sneaking a little glance, the first thing I saw were sharp eyes searching for me, I was very panicked, quickly turned my head, restrained myself to stop shaking, those eyes, the eyes of ocean killers.

I swear I don't want anything to do with them, I'm telling the truth.

The flashback is enough, now I guess I have to focus on my studies as well.

So fast! It's already evening, I have only a simple dark clothes, the dim moonlight makes one's mind hazy, there are glittering stars, fresh air, how strange it looks...

I walked slowly to the coast, the golden sand caressed like a kiss on the soles of my feet, I felt all my senses, my eyes saw the calm sea, my ears listened to melodious voices like the lyre of the poet Orpheus.

But why, I can't control? My feet keep going, follow that voice and forget the way back, fear screams, but why won't my body listen?

Or is it because the songs seem to be separate but harmonize?

Oh, please make me deaf now, even if I trade the best song, I won't be content to go down to that terrible ocean.

I say that, but I still go, close to the sea, the wind creates a wave that cools my feet, what do I see in my eyes now?

Twin brothers in mermaid form and Azul sunbae wiggle their tentacles.

They raised their hands for me to catch, then gently pulled me under the sea.

My head is sinking, so deep...

They stopped singing, I was able to move too, my body moved, but they held me tight, my strength was not enough.

Just as my oxygen was running low, I tried to look up at the faint light of the moon.

Do not!

I beg you!

I bow to you!

Please don't take away my last hope, please remove the tentacles wrapped around my eyes, please don't whisper those words in my ears!

I'd rather be a flower forgotten on the side of the road, let people push and pedal.

Or vow to become a bird with its wings broken, waiting for Death to take it away.

Please don't force me to take that medicine, even though my eyes are covered, but I feel that my legs are glued together like glue, the itchy skin is gradually becoming painful, something is sticking out of the skin. mine!

I screamed, I could breathe underwater. No! This is what I fear the most, becoming a mermaid!

The tentacles on my eyes are removed, what do they show me? The fishtail with its silvery glittering scales.

I don't want to! I don't want to be the animal I fear the most, I don't want to be like the fairy tales tell, live more than 300 years and the soul becomes a sponge, please give back my eternal soul!

They pulled me deeper, and deeper, so much so that I couldn't see the moonlight shining down on this blue sea...

I wish it was all just a dream.

[not-goldy]

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/736605604709351424/httpswwwtumblrcomnot-goldy736600346654392320?source=share

same anon

"if you were in his shoes you would have done worse" No i wouldn't. Not even a single time in my whole life i have ever ever made fun of someone cause when i was a child i was told that if you make fun of someone god will punish you and will make the same thing happen to you that you're making someone's fun of. And till this day i belive in that thing so i never once tried to make fun of someone even by calling someone short, fat, black this that. Idk about y'all but that's a very common thing in my country which is told to everyone when they're child..

i said jk WAS mean to jm implying past tense. Me liking jk has nothing to do with how he was with jm i can like him and can still acknowledge he was mean to jm but with time he matured.

I would never ever rank my friend last in looks who's very clearly insecure about his looks as people made him insecure like that. I would never ever make fun of my frnd's voice who's again clearly insecure over his voice. I could never say such things to someone who cares so much for me like i would hate myself if i ever made someone sad or made fun of them. Idk maybe it's because the family and environment that i grew up in where no one makes fun of eachother or thinks it's a bad thing.

Now you put yourself in jm's shoe and i ask you how would have you felt when the person you care so much for made fun of your insecurities. Jm was young himself at that time but yeah let's make fun of him and call it a harmonal things sure. Don't forgot to answer me what you would have felt.

Religious trauma I can relate I was told God will rain fire on me if I sodomized 🥲

Like I said, JMs feelings are valid- it's yours I'm questioning. You and our other cousins who hate JK🥲

Jungkook was thrust into all this at 13 years old💀

Wait.... since we comparing traumas I was raised by families who would show me videos of people screaming in hell images of men and women being whooped to death every sabbath as a way of explaining what will happen to me if I strayed from my Christain beliefs.

I got cut with glass every time I broke them. I got shaved as a way to punish me- my father once say my shaved head and said with that I doubt you'll ever make fun of anyone- yes, I liked giggling at everything and everyone and that was my punishment. I went a whole week without food to teach me gratitude because I failed to say grace at dinner

I get roasted for my looks my failures my dreams my desires just as a way of my family and community expressing love and affection🤭

You are so blessed if you grew up in such a healthy environment-

But imagine the rest of the world ain't really like that and Jungkook at 13 had to do a lot of his growing up on camera around strangers and people he didn't know🙃

13.

If I was 15 and a 13 year old kid made fun of me- I'd question why the fuck he or she is even in my space talking to me. He or she should sit at the kids table. I don't do babies.

My sister and her friends never played with me and always acted as if I was still in diapers when I tried to socialize with them.

I hate people that are disrespectful and would keep my distance cos that's what any self respecting teen would do 😩

And if I couldn't keep my distance I would whoop their ass on God 🥲💀

Which is exactly what Jimin said too when he was supervised by that kid to wash a plane. He said he was going to whoop them if they were in Korea.

So really he should have just whooped Jungkook and called it a day💀

He gave JK too much power over him. Hobi out there throwing bananas at him and shit😩

I would have bleached his eye brows while he slept 😴

[sodaliteskull]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thank you for the tag on this, @harmonic-melodii! Check out how she responded to this over here!

Gonna have this one be an open tag for EVERYONE, so if you're looking for the questions, head on over here!

About You

When did you start writing?

Kindergarten, so when I was either 5 or 6? lol I wanted to write sooner, but I didn't quite grasp the mechanics of how to actually do that, but the second I learned how to read and write, I could not be stopped! I know the first story I wrote was about dinosaurs, because I was OBSESSED with dinosaurs at that age.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I like reading hard sci-fi, but I hate writing it! Trying to make sure everything is as scientifically accurate (or at least plausible) as possible is not where I find my joy in writing. I'm much more of a "technobabble something that sounds reasonable but don't elaborate further" girlie when it comes to my own stuff.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

None that I really want to emulate, or any I get compared to that I can recall. lol not to be trite, but I'm trying to develop my own writing voice, rather than mimic someone else's!

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I Mostly write at my desktop computer, and my desk is currently swamped in assorted stationary bits and bobs I haven't had the time or energy to sort through recently! Otherwise it's with my laptop in bed (being absolutely blasted by my fan, because I hate being hot), or hopping around town with my bestie to find cafes where we can get in joint writing sessions.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Thinking about elements (settings, tropes, themes, stuff like that) from pieces of media that I like and breaking them down to get to the core of what sets me off like a boiling tea kettle about them.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I've always lived somewhere with quick access to the forest and the sea, so the both of those tend to crop up in my writing, even when I don't intend them to. lol basically all my stories are like the sci-fi and fantasy shows of the aughts, in that they were "filmed" in the Vancouver/Lower Mainland area!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Alienation tends to crop up in my writing, as well as people struggling against exploitation. I also tend to write about some kind of rebellion against some form of authority. None of them surprise me in the least!

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Iradurel, one of the protagonists from the Starcrossed Cycle, because she is such a shit disturber! She has no respect for authority and doesn't bother sugarcoating her words, so I use her to vent every nasty little thought I have about behaviours in people I have to bite my tongue about in my day to day. It's always cathartic when I write dialog for her!

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Probably Ryla, the other protagonist of the Starcrossed Cycle. She'd be happiest avoiding drama and just spending her days indulging her curiosities, and that is something I would also like to do. We'd be study buddies!

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Rounding this out with the antagonist of the Starcrossed Cycle, Ransaran, who is a conglomeration of traits that I hate! I literally designed this asshole to encompass everything that I loathe in a person, so we would not get along!

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

I'm usually a plot first kind of writer, with either a beginning or an ending clearly in mind. I then start with really broad stroke archetypes (something like The Witch, or The Ace Pilot) that I think would either get me to the ending I want, or shoot off from my starting point in interesting directions, and use that as a metaphorical armature that I can slap on the equally metaphorical clay that is tropes and traits until I like the shape of the character.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

I've been making them queer since before I realized that I, myself, was queer!

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

I rarely imagine real people when coming up with characters (which kinda blows, because using actors to make gifsets of my characters is something I want to do!), and instead tend to visualize them in whatever style of animation (traditional or cgi) I last happened to watch. Been usingvideo game character creators, dollmakers, and picrews for years to help with the visualization process, because my own drawing skills are rather lacking!

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

There's so much noise inside me, and writing is the most efficient way to quiet that!

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I like being able to lay out enough breadcrumbs that readers get an idea of what I'm leading to, so having people correctly guess the broad strokes of what I'm planning is always cool! Incoherent screaming is also a good one.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I want people to wonder what is wrong with me. lol but for real, being known for mashing up wildly different concepts would be kind of cool.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I'm pretty good at finding connection points to link disparate plot elements together.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

The most common one I hear is that I come up with some interesting turns of phrases.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I'm catering to my own likes when it comes to writing, so I enjoy it quite a lot!

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Well yeah! I write everything for myself as is, so having no readers beyond myself would not hinder me at all!

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Since I write for myself, I selfishly fill my writing with things I know I'm going to like. Otherwise, if I know a certain person is going to be reading what I wrote, I'll throw in something that (I hope!) would delight them specifically.

[married-2-the-music]

Tell Me What To Do; A Letter To Jonghyun

If you’ve ever stumbled across one of my posts before, you’ll probably know me as a (maybe somewhat harsh) reviewer, who will always take the chance to rhapsodize about harmonizing and complain about Dynamite. But that’s not what this is; I did write a review about JH’s work but this is different; I want to start off not with my “credentials” but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 through BLACKPINK and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet.

In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than he was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated in that grief. Just three weeks later, on December 18th, three years ago now, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard his name mentioned, through Yeri of Red Velvet, but had never taken the time to really listen, and I finally did.

It gives me no joy to say that I discovered that he had made a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he chose to leave the world, a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough. When I looked closer, I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli (Choi Jinri, of f(x)), and Hara (Goo Hara, of KARA), and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that finally got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit. I think I have depression.”

Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but to this day, it’s Jonghyun’s voice that sings “tell me what to do” on the 6:45 alarm reminding me to take my anti-depressants. To this day, it’s his music that I turn to when I need comfort. In his memory, I try to continue what he did for me. I take December 18th as a day to be just a little bit of a better person—a better sister, a better daughter, and a better friend both to others and to myself—as much as I possibly can.

Jonghyun’s discography is only five albums, less than three hours long. The mere fact of this makes me sad. I wish I could tell a story with a happier ending, one that I finish by saying that he’s still here, still on his 27th collection of wonderful stories, still teasing the hell out of the band members who loved him more than anything, still being a dork who brightens everyone’s day with the same humor that made me laugh for the first time in a month the first time I came across it.

But, no matter how good of a writer I think I am, I can’t do that. All I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. In this, I’m trying to do all three.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. After finding SHINee, I became a fan of Gfriend, Girls Generation, Seventeen, (G)I-DLE, Stray Kids, Sunmi, and, of course, Dreamcatcher, whose music is now a part of me too.

I know that I’ve probably made this way more about me than it should’ve been, but I’d like to end by saying this: I know that k-pop (and being a fan of it) are seen as something to mock, something only done by insecure, screeching teenage girls with too much free time on their hands who are obsessed with random men they’ve never met. And maybe that is who I was in 2019.

But to me now, and so many other people I know, it is stories like mine that are the real reason why we choose to dedicate so much of our precious free time to something that so many people deem childish. I’m a linguistics major, and I can tell you firsthand that music is one of very few things that can break a language barrier and reach people across the world. Had Jonghyun’s not reached me, I don’t know where I’d be. But I wouldn’t be here, and I definitely wouldn’t be a linguistics major. As he wrote in his book, “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, his advocacy, and, of course, his incredible kindness. Both our community and the world as a whole were very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing the word “K-pop” at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. Whenever I have my bad days, I listen to his music; I ask him to tell me what to do. And I make myself a promise: that whatever I do, I will never make the decision that he did.

Whether he’s out there and whether he’s listening or not, I’d just like to say thank you, Jonghyun, for changing my life. You did so, so, well, and, in an odd way, I’m incredibly proud of you and all you managed to accomplish despite the kind of pain you went through. I hope that, even though we never got the chance to meet, you would be proud of me too.

And thank you, for taking the time to read this. I hope that whoever you are and whatever Jonghyun means to you, you find a little comfort in the fact that you are not alone in it. However you want to grieve (or not grieve) is valid. If you’ve never heard of our wonderful singer before, take this as a sign to take ten minutes to learn something about a truly beautiful human.

And if you have, take this as a reminder to take your medication, get some sleep, and check in with your friends. Though Jonghyun thought that what he did was the only way out, he was wrong, because I’ve been there. I’m still there, sometimes. But take this as reassurance that it’ll get better. It might not be better tomorrow and it might not be better for a while. But it will get better.

Happy holidays, folks. Take care of yourselves out there. Tschüss and Fröhliche Weihnachten!

[parisbytaylorswift]

My F-1 Trillion thoughts

TLDR: The slow songs are better, I love Dolly, and most of these did not need to be features

Wrong Ones (Tim McGraw): VERY stadium country. Not totally my thing but I respect it. If this is setting the stage for the rest, I hope the features deliver.

Finer Things (Hank Williams Jr.): Oh. Definitely not my thing. Sounds like a Florida Georgia Line song. That’s not a good thing. Could’ve been a lot better with a more toned-down acoustic production style. I guess this is the pseudo-title track for the album? I like the album title on it’s own but I hope this song isn’t representative of the whole thing.

I had some help (Morgan Wallen): I’ve heard this one before, and yeah, I really don’t like Morgan Wallen. If it hadn’t been a feature, I think I could at least accept this a fun catchy pop-country song. But I really don’t think Posty needed the “help” on this one.

Pour Me a Drink (Blake Shelton): Post’s voice works so well for a country song, I just don’t understand why there’s so many unnecessary features on this album. This could’ve been a solo song is a statement that applies to most all of these. That said, lyrically, it’s a fun blue collar anthem. . . being sung by a The Voice judge. It’s just hard to take Blake Shelton seriously when we tries to do these blue collar anthems, and feels appropriating

Have the Heart (Dolly Parton): DOLLY CAN DO NO WRONG. THIS is a well used feature. Very rhinestone cowboy reminiscent. This is Taylor Swift’s cowboy like me without the criminal activity and with a much more hopeful sound.

What Don’t Belong To Me: FINALLY. A solo track. Post sounds great on these more personal ballad style songs. A great catchy ear worm chorus is a staple of his, and this is that! There’s no mistaking this for a Post Malone song, even with a genre change-up. I like the true to form songwriting style.

Goes without Saying (Brad Paisley): This is a pop song with a banjo. This is gonna be on country radios for a long time, isn’t it? The new unavoidable Brad Paisley song I guess. Not terrible or anything, just okay.

Guy for That (Luke Combs): THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE A FEATURE!!! More stadium country okayishness.

Nosedive (Lainey Wilson): It sounds good when Post slows down!! The more emotional ballads of this album are the best parts. I can see this being used in a blockbuster romance movie soundtrack based off a Nicholas Sparks book.

Losers (Jelly Roll): 10 years ago this would’ve been used in a Disney movie about middle school bullying. In 2024, teenagers are going to bully sing this AT the losers sitting in the back of football bleachers.

Devil I’ve Been (Ernest): She fixed him! (Really she did!) Unfortunately his friends are still demons.

Never Love You Again (Sierra Ferrell): Slow songs are great!! Do this more!! The slow bass line works great here.

Missin’ You Like This (Luke Combs): Luke Combs again? Really? The slowed down wistful love song is nice here, but really, really, didn’t need to be a feature.

California Sober (Chris Stapleton): Another feature done really well. The harmonizing route with both their voices is great compared to the alternating style on other tracks. Stapleton and Post’s voices are great together, and makes for a really fun sound.

Hide My Gun (HARDY): Again, the slower songs are the best ones here for letting Post really shine for who he is. Also, murder!!!

Right About You: I love a good song title pun (Kacey Musgraves’ Space Cowboy you are beloved), the ‘right/writing about you’ bit here is very appealing. It lands well, and it’s a fun love song about being famous for your heartbreak.

M-E-X-I-C-O (Billy Strings): YEEHAW!!!!!! A ridiculous story song is always fun! Hell yeah man take her daddy’s money and blow it in Vegas and get shot out of chapel alongside Elvis on your way to Mexico!

Yours: Sounds like an early 2000s post-9/11 sad country song to be made with a sad sepia filtered music video. But! I do respect the lyrics and everything Post did with it. There isn;’t really anything wrong with sounding twenty years ago is twenty years ago was good. Just glad this album didn’t get a Toby Keith feature.

[thisworldisablackhole]

This month in listening... 03/21/24

Been a minute since I've done one of these roundups, which is maybe for the best. More time for things to happen. This one is gonna be exclusively new releases because the last few weeks have been HOT. The year is really starting to cook up and I'm stoked.

New Waxahatchee album just dropped like 30 minutes ago (at the time of writing this), and I think it might be her best work to date. I've been a fan of the Crutchfield sisters since P.S. Eliot. Alison's band Swearin' is still one of my favourite pop punk bands ever, and Katie has been killing it with her solo work ever since American Weekend came out in 2012. I still have fond memories of running away from home in 2014 and singing Bathtub next to a camp fire, high on mushrooms in some dusty norcal weed town. The americana influence that she has been incorporating into her music recently suits her voice and style of songwriting so well, and I'm so happy to see it really flourish here. The collaboration with MJ Lenderman is just the cherry on top.

SeeYouSpaceCowboy dropped a new 2 part single recently. The first part functions as a short but beautiful piano intro featuring vocals from singer iRis.EXE. I do not know anything about this singer other than the fact that her voice is completely mesmerizing, even just the way she enunciates certain words scratches a weird itch in my brain. The intro cleverly transitions into the next act with the sound of a crowd clapping that slowly synchronizes into a single beat which lays the foundation for the rest of the instruments to come in. Silhouettes In Motion might actually be my new favourite SYSC song, and forebodes extremely well for how much I'm going to love the full album. The way the chorus swings in is so disarming and wonderful, I could just repeat that part over and over.

Last friday, Night Verses finally dropped the long awaited part 2 of their album Every Sound Has A Color In The Valley Of Night. There has been lots of clamor and confusion over why they released the album in parts like this, and I think the only real answer is that they wanted to end up on my year end list two years in a row. Seriously, the second part of this album rules and it starts off so strongly with this song Plague Dancer. This is one of the heaviest songs on part 2 and if full of intoxicating grooves, but the part that really sells me on it is that god damn breakdown where Nick DePirro throws in these muted harmonic strums that sounds pieces of sheet metal flapping in the wind in between chords. It's just so cool. Night Verses might be the only instrumental band I've ever really fallen in love with and I'm totally ok with that.

I should really just wait until Boundaries releases their new album next week, but YOLO. The three singles they have put out are just too good. Boundaries have double down on the heaviness with these tracks, and in doing so have maximized the contrast between the brutal and melodic parts of their sound. The heavy parts are blistering, and the choruses are succinct and effective in their ability to inject a quick blast of relief into the storm. Matt and Tim are also possibly my favourite duo of vocalists in metalcore right now. They are both just so distinct and powerful in their own right, and compliment each other so well. I didn't even realize that Tim is also the drummer until watching their music video a few days ago, so I have gained a whole new level of respect for his cleans.

A new album from One Step Closer has probably been my single most anticipated piece of news ever since their EP Songs for the Willow swept me off my feet in early 2023. That EP showed a distinct shift in their sound in a more melodic direction, and the result was three of their most memorable and interesting songs to date. This new album so far seems to indicate an even further push into pop punk territory and it is a welcome change for me. OSC are at their best when their hearts are on their sleeve, and this new track is oozing in heart. Honestly getting some Separation era Balance and Composure vibes from this song which I absolutely love. This album is coming out a week after the new Like Moths to Flames album which is insane. We gonna be eating good in May.

This new album by Irish folk musician Sam Lee really came out of left field and took me by surprise. I honestly only checked it out because the album art gave me weird Shire Hobbit vibes, and I was pleased when I played the first track and my initial thought was "yup... Hobbit music". I don't listen to a lot of folk music, and when I do, it doesn't sound anything like this. This album is just sounds very mature, and I don't mean that in an egotistical way. I mean it in the way where it sounds like there's some type of ancient wisdom or energy seeping through the cracks of Sam's deep storytellers voice and the thoughtfully dramatic arrangement of instruments. This is one of the most unique albums I'll listen to this year, and I'm glad I took a gamble on it.

A new Greyhaven single also dropped today, and good lord the reception has been nothing but praise. This band has not dropped the ball at all. This Bright and Beautiful World was one of my top 5 or 10 albums of 2022, and this new song is one hundred percent on par with, if not better than the best parts of that record. They are releasing a new 5 song EP on April 12th, thru their new home of Sharp Tone Records. I'm not even mad that it's not a full length, because the quality of this song is so promising. Spiritbox's The Fear of Fear honestly changed my perception about what an EP could accomplish, and now I am hyped at the prospect of a band I love putting out 4 to 6 tracks solid tracks with NO FILLER. The replay value is gonna be huge.

Poisoned Seeds are a local band, and I'm super excited about them right now. They are one of the few really good bands in the scene right now that are drawing more influence from 90s and early 2000s melodic hardcore and metalcore bands. I think it's fairly obvious by now that I love melodic bands, so I'm always hyped when there are people in my own back yard providing that sound at a local level. Guitarist and main song writer Avrinder Dhillon personally cited Shai Hulud as an influence, and I think they provide a great reference for how Poisoned Seeds implement melody into their riffs and vocals with a tasteful subtlety while maintaing an essence that is tough as nails.

[ellis-in-name]

Chapter 10: When things fall apart

Read on AO3

The game passed by over the course of two or three hours and Abby’s family soon returned to the cliff face, their faces glowing with pride.

              “That was so scary, I thought you were done for Craig.”

              “Oh, shut it Alice, it’s not like you were in any less danger.”

              “Hey! My sister can defend herself better than you can!”

              “Will you all be quiet! We won, but barely, be thankful about that and don’t get full of yourselves.” Abby demanded as they all walked up to me. She looked at me with a smile, “Well, we won, at least we don’t have to run laps.”

              “That’s great.” I state bluntly and left the group, storing my scythe and cloak on my way through the storage room. “I’m going to go get some time alone now that I am free to leave. Later.” I called behind me as I walked through the door. I could hear Abby making a protest but I ignored it. “That’s great that you don’t need me, that I am just someone to be scared of. I don’t care, why should I care?

“Because they’re your family. You should be included in what they do.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, shut up.”

              I found myself at the pool of water after wandering aimlessly through Corindell. I sat down on the edge of the cliff and let my mind wander. What can I do get them to trust me? They are all are scared of me, thinking I’ll snap at anytime. Yet, they do trust me, they all allowed me to join their family. Or are they just following Abby’s lead, not really wanting me there but respecting Abby’s wishes?

              “Calian? Is everything ok?” Abby walked up to the edge of the cliff and joined me. “I know you’re probably angry about being excluded, but I hope you can understand that-”

              “Abby, I understand perfectly,” I interrupted. My temper was rising. “You are all scared of me, you all think I’m going to kill you. And you should be. Because soon enough you’re all gonna die. Ripped to bloody little pieces.”

              As the voice in my head began to take control my face exploded into pain as Abby slapped me. “That is not what we meant by leaving you out! We have yet to see how good you are at fighting when you aren't cornered! Don’t you ever dare say that we don’t trust you! We are a family, and we will treat each other like such!”

              I lifted my hand to my stinging cheek. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I opened my mouth to apologize when a new voice entered the small cavern.

              “Well look at this, the dog just got in trouble. Is the poor mutt ok? Or does he need another lesson on proper educate?” I looked at Harmon as he walked up to me, but Abby moved in between the two of us. Why does he keep showing up? Because he wants another lesson.

              “Harmon, stay out of this, this is a family matter between me and my new member.”

              “Oh, dear Abby, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had other feelings beyond excitement and superiority!” Harmon said and with a quick push he sent Abby stumbling over the cliff edge.

              “Abby!” I reached out my arm to catch her but a swift kick to the stomach stopped me. Abby gave a short yelp before she splashed into the water.

              “Now now loyal mutt, you can’t save your owner, she has to save herself, just as you have to do the same.”

              Another kick to the stomach came, and then another, and another. “Well dog? Are you going to defend yourself? Or are you just hoping that I will show mercy! Are you desperate?”

“Desperation.” The word rang through my mind like a church bell. “And in the other corner, we have a nameless wanderer… It’s Desperation!”

As the next kick swung towards me, I grabbed Harmon’s foot and pulled it out from underneath him. As he lost his balance, I used my other hand to pull his second foot and he fell to the ground. In an instant I was on top of him, my hands around his throat.

“You’re right. I am desperate! Desperate to drink your-” My voice stopped as I regained control and I let go of Harmon. “Why do you hate me.” I whispered to him, but Harmon only got up and ran away, screaming in fear. “I am human, just like you.” I whispered as he left.

“Well, that was something else.” I looked at the cliff edge and saw Abby climbing over the edge, a smile on her face as she wrang water from her hair. “Come on, let's go find the others, maybe we can do some group training.”

“But I just lost-”

“Excuses, excuses, you won't get better unless you try. So, let's just have one on one matches and if you get out of hand, we will do something to calm you down. I’ll knock you unconscious if I must.”

“Thanks, I feel so loved.” I replied sarcastically

“Good, because you are.” She said, grabbing my hand and once again and dragged me somewhere in Corindell. We arrived at one of the rings of tents that surround a campfire. “Zoey, Alice! Let's get some practice time in! If anyone else wants to join they are welcome to.” Abby called out and from to separate tents, the twins heads popped out and then shouted in unison

“Yay! Training!” I saw Albert’s head poke out of another tent and with a shake of his head, he slipped back into the tent.

“I’m fixing Craig’s armor, neither of us will be able to go.” I heard him call out.

“Well, I guess that settles it, Zoey, Alice, you ready to go?” Abby said as she received the responses.

“When are we not ready?” Zoey replied, her comment soon followed by Alice.

“We are always ready for some training.”

“Where do we train at?” I asked quietly but my only reply was to have a heavy wooden sword dropped into my hands.

“Right here of course.” Abby said, “Now, prepare to fight, your opponents will be both of the twins.”

“Both of them?” I opened my mouth to continue my question, but a flash of wood and a blooming pain in my side cut me off.

“Hey, keep your eyes on the opponent!” I turned and found Zoey standing with a smile, but Alice is nowhere to be found. I quickly turn around to protect my back, only to receive a sharp sting from Zoey. “What did I just tell you!” I heard Zoey yell from behind me, I turned around and parried an incoming attack, only to receive another from behind me.

“Missed me, missed me, now you have to kiss me!” I heard Alice call behind me. I quickly turn to try and block any incoming attack, and once again, I opened myself to a blind spot.

“And… now you’re dead again.” Zoey said, poking my spine.

“I just can’t protect myself from all sides, it’s impossible.”

“Only if you let it be you idiot. Let me take over and the fight will be over.”

“I am not giving control over to you.” I thought as I put my back to one of the tents. I watched carefully as the twins began to approach me, no longer able to get me from behind. However, to my surprise, Alice dashed forward with a stab, forcing me to step out of way, and straight into Zoey’s sword. I grimace as I’m hit again and swing my sword around to Alice's back, only to find Zoey’s sword in the way. I Jumped away from the two girls trying to try and make distance, but the girls followed me, relentlessly stabbing and swinging.

“You’re going to have to fight back eventually Calian.”

“Especially if you want fewer bruises than a leopard has spots.” I leapt out of the way of another sword stroke and ducked under the following sword swing. I try to make an awkward swing, but my sword flies out of my hand as Zoey knocks it from my weak grip. I stepped to the side as Alice followed in with another stab. In response I stepped forward and lightly punch Alice in the chest as I ducked under Zoeys swing for my head.

“You’re going to have to hit harder than that!” Alice said with a laugh and whacked my ankle with her sword.

An hour passed by in which this evil process continued. By the end, I had numerous bruises, and I was frustrated to no end. However, I managed to stay in control despite the constant chatter in the back of my head.

 I collapsed to the ground breathing heavily and rubbing my over bruised side and sore muscles. The twins began dancing around me, “We felled the beast, we felled the beast.” They chanted as they danced. I fell onto my back with a sigh.

“I honestly don’t know why I continued fighting a losing battle” I said, closing my eyes.

“Begins you’ve got a determination stronger than steel.” Albert said as he walked up to me.

“Watched you for only ten minutes, and you are stubborn in not hurting anyone. That is for sure.” Craig added. The twins burst out laughing.

“Like he ever could hit us in a serious fight, he had trouble hitting us the one time!” Everyone in the camp, even me, started laughing.

“Yeah, but what about when he has to fight for real? What about when it’s no longer practice. Calian will die if he doesn’t fight back when the time comes.” Albert stated and silenced the whole camp.

“I’m sure Calian will be fine” Abby said and helped me to my feet. “Alright, it was a good training session you three but it’s time to go get ourselves food to eat.” Abby called out, walking up to the group. Just as she said this, the dinner bell tolled throughout the cavern. The entire group began to run for the dining hall, so ran after them as every muscle in my body screamed to stop. “Come on Calian! Hurry up!” Abby called behind me.

I’m trying you pushy jerk! It’s not like I didn’t just get the blood beaten out of me for an hour. I thought as I pushed myself harder, trying to catch up with the group. Even with my struggling I ended up being the last person to arrive at the table. I collapse into my chair, and sigh. “Why must we run everywhere? Why can’t we walk? Walking is so much nicer, a lot less painful too.” I said breathless, and the entire table chuckled.

“Don’t be so dramatic Calian.” Abby said, lightly hitting my arm. “We could make you get the food tonight.”

“No thank you.”

“Well, in that case it’s Zoey’s turn.” Alice chimed in.

“It is not! It’s your turn!”

“No, it was my turn yesterday!”

“Girls!” Abby called, “Both of you do it!”

“Yes Ma'am!” The twins said in unison and left for the kitchen door. They soon came back with a variety of dishes, and the feast began after Michael spoke a few words. Dinner was as it had been the night before, stories passed around, laughter flowing freely, and food aplenty. However, soon things fell to chaos.

“Hello fellow family members, as you know my name is Harmon, leader of the strongest family here.” The hall quieted, and everyone looked to the boy in a red cloak on the podium. “I have a problem, and we all know what that means, it means that a battle to the death or surrender must occur!”

“What is he talking about?” I whispered to Abby, and she looks at me with worry.

“To keep the relative peace here, Michael devised a system to help keep it. If someone has a problem, they fight it out to the death or until the other surrenders.” Abby responded

“I have been humiliated by a low life on multiple occasions, and I want compensation! Calian, you mutt! I challenge you! Right now!” Harmon screamed across the dining hall.

“He can’t be serious!” I whispered fiercely. “I have done nothing to him!”

“Yeah, but you hurt his pride, one that he holds very dear to him.” Craig said.

“Can he really call a challenge on something so petty?” Alice chimed in as Zoey nodded her head.

“I’m afraid so, it’s stupid, but he can.”

“I’m allowed to refuse this right? Or quit at the very start?” I pleaded.

“I’m afraid not kid, you’re stuck.” Albert said.

“Calian!” Harmon called out, “Are you coming or are you going to run with your tail between your legs?”

“Yeah, I’m coming you prideful idiot.” I muttered and stood up from my seat, grimacing as muscles stretch out. I’ll be fighting at a disadvantage; my muscles could easily lock up at anytime. I thought as I walked towards the space being cleared at the center of hall. I met Harmon in the center of the large circular arena that had been created.

“We can start when you are ready, mutt.” He says, “I’ll even give you a handicap if you need me too.” He said with a laugh, but I ignored him as I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the depths of my mind.

****

“It’s seems that you came back for something, what do you need?”

“Look, I’m sure you already know this, but I’m in a rut.”

“When are you not?”

“Oh, shut up, I have to fight someone, however we both know how I feel about that, so I want to make a compromise.”

“Oh? A compromise?”

“I will let you have some fun, as long as you don’t kill anyone. Understood? You have a giant punching bag in front of you, beat him until he submits defeat, and then return control.”

“And what is to stop me from killing him?”

“The fact you love me?”

“I love no one. But, I will help you. Useless mutt.”

“You just insulted yourself, you know that right?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Tag, you’re it.” I felt myself begin to sink into the depths and watched as my shadow rose to the surface.

****

“Well, you mutt? Are you going to just stand there like an idiot?” Harmon said as I opened my eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry to keep your sorry butt waiting your highness, I just had to have a conversation with myself.” I said as I curled my hand into a fist. “We can begin now, thank you for waiting.”

“Perfect let it begin, I will-” Harman's words were cut off as I rushed forward and punched him in the face.

“What is this? A tea party? This is a fight!” I said with a laugh as I brought my fist into his jaw. “Oh! You fly far!” I called out, using my hands as fake binoculars as I watched Harmon fly into the air and land a few feet away from me.

“Alright! That's it!” Harmon screamed as five balls of fire appearing around him. “I was just going to make an example out of you but-” His words once again fall short as I dashed forward. I dove forward as two flames shot towards me. I calmly stepped to the left as a third flew at me, and then walked forward towards Harmon at a steady, gentle pace. “Stop it! Stop being so calm! Stop making me look like an idiot! Just die!” Harmon screamed. Two more balls of flames shot at me. I stopped moving and watched as the flames slam into the ground in front of me.

“Little boy, little boy, you missed. Your precious attack missed. How do you feel about this? Are you scared? Do you feel the fear gripping at your heart? That is the fear of death.” I whispered to him, calmly walking towards Harmon. Six more flames of fire rush at me but the hasty aiming caused them to go wide. “You're scared boy, your heart is racing, the blood rushing in your ears. This is the feeling I live for! The feeling of desperation! Isn’t that right boy? The thrill of battle! The thrill of death!” I said as I suddenly leapt towards him and brought my fist into Harmon’s gut. Harmon’s eyes filled with fear as I approached him, and he dropped to the ground screaming.

“I give up! I give up! You win! Just leave me alone!” Harmon cried, his hands over his head as he cowered in front of me.

“But I just got my blood pumping, is that really it? What a let down.” I sighed and started to walk away. “A promise is a promise.”

****

              “Wow, I’m impressed, you didn’t just wail on him till he bled.”

              “I like to savor my meals.”

              “And look where that got you, very little fun.”

              “On the contrary, it was a lot of fun. Well, tag, you’re it.”

              I began to rise to the surface and smiled. “Thank you, for settling it peacefully in a sense.”

              “Shut up, you know nothing about warfare, that kid will be messed up for the rest of his life.”

****

              “Please, just don’t hurt me!” I looked down at Harmon’s tear-stained face as I regained control of my body.

              “Harmon, you don’t have reason to worry, I’m not going to hurt you anymore.” I told him, but horror filled eyes look up at me.

              “Are you an idiot! Look around you! What do you see! Sheep! Sheep to be slaughtered! I didn’t want to hurt you!” Harmon screamed, his pupils dilating till they were pinpricks.

              “Harmon, calm down, what are you talking about.” I heard Abby call as she ran up to the group, but Harmon simply collapsed to the floor and began twitching. I cautiously kneel next to him and check for a pulse, there was none.

              “You said you didn’t kill him!”

              “You’re right, I didn’t. But look closer.”

              I looked at Harmon and watch as his skin began to turn an ashy grey. His hand began to disintegrate as ashes floated away on an unseen wind. “Harmon! What is going on!” I called out and silently watched as the boy that had bullied me melted to grey ash. An eerily familiar voice answered me.

              “I’m sorry, Harmon never existed. He was just a pawn of mine.” I turned around and found the man from the woods standing behind me. “Did you enjoy the abuse? I can do it myself if you want dear Desperation.” He said as the ashes from Harmon fed into his own. Once the man was completely assembled, he wore a black trench coat, and he held a cane in his right hand. His face was still the sinister look from the forest.

              “Get away from him Calian!” I was thrown to the side as Miss Valory grabbed me and tossed me like a sack of potatoes. Her eyes were wild with fury and her skin was white as a sheet. “Ash! How dare you show your face to me after what you did to Aran!” She screamed as a sword of ice appeared in her hands.

              “Oh, if it isn’t dear Valory, If I remember correctly, I ended your dear boyfriend’s life prematurely. I must say, I regret nothing!” Ash replied, his eyes wide with insanity. “Shall you join him dear girl? My pet? My creation? The answer happens to be yes whether you like it or not!” I watched as Ash snapped his fingers and Miss Valory’s sword shattered to pieces in her hands.

              “I refuse to die again!” Miss Valory screamed as the particles of ice began to swirl around her and shot towards Ash with blinding speed. But with a casual wave of his hand, the man named Ash sent a wave of fire that stopped them in their tracks.

              “Dear Valory, this will not do, You try the same-” Ash’s voice was cut off as Miss Valory’s fist slammed into his face.

              “Do I try the same things? I think this is a new one!” She said as her second fist drove into Ash’s gut.

   ��          “Oh dear, such a naughty dog,” Ash said, floating backwards in thin air. “I’ll just have to put you down for striking your master.” Ash said and my eyes widened as a blast of fire appeared from nowhere and exploded against Miss Valory in the back. Her body flew across the room like a flightless bird, but before she could hit the ground a second explosion sent her flying across the room once more.

              “Miss Valory!” I cried, and felt my very soul begin to tremble with rage. At that point, the darkness and I spoke as one. “How dare you harm her!” I cried, “I will watch you suffer and burn in hell!” I began walking towards Ash, my mind hazed over with rage. “You will not lay another finger on her!” As I charged forward a veil of green light surrounded me and slammed my fist into Ash’s midsection. I heard him gasp with pain as my fist connected. Ash tried to hit me in the face with a point-blank fireball but the fire diffused before it could touch me. Ash appeared to move in slow motion as I brought my leg around and caught Ash in the face. With a satisfying thud Ash was knocked to the ground. My breathing was heavy and ragged with rage as I stepped towards the evil man. The green light around me began to shine brighter and brighter as my rage built up. However, as I looked at Ash I found him dissipating into thin air.

“Good! Good! This will be fun for me! Well Calian, I will see you in half a year! Bring that anger with you to fuel the fight! I will be expecting a fun time. In the meantime, you can expect this place to be attacked in a week! that is your reward for hitting me.” Ash said with a sinister laugh that echoed through the dining hall.

              “Ash! Get back here! I will kill you!” I screamed as he faded away on the wind but my mind soon snapped back to reality. “Miss Valory! I called out as the green light around me disappeared. I turned and ran towards her body that was lying in the middle of the table arena. No one moved. “What do you think you’re all doing! Move you stupid sheep!” I screamed. The sudden break of silence caused people to snap out of the shock of the battle.

              “Healers! Get over here!” Abby called as I ran to Miss Valory’s side. It didn’t look good, her skin and clothing were scorched and her face was blistered by burns.

              “Miss Valory? Please, wake up.” I whispered as I shook her a little but I was shoved to the side by the healers. A green aura of magic began to surround them and Miss Valory.

              “Calian, come on, leave them to their work, I’m sure she will be ok, Let's just go get some sleep. We will need it if Ash wasn’t lying about that attack” Abby told as she pulled me away from Miss Valory’s body.

              “No, I have to stay with her.” I replied, my voice hollow and empty. “I have to be here and help.”

              “And what do you think you can do kid?” Albert screamed as he walked up to Abby and I. “Kid, admit it, you can’t do anything for her. So just get out of here and stay out of the way.”

              Albert, careful-” Abby began to say, but I lash out.

              “What do you know! You never knew her! She saved me! She is everything!” I screamed at him, clutching at his shirt; however, a smack sent me flying to the ground.

              “Get ahold of yourself kid! No matter what your relationship is with her, you can’t do anything!” Albert yelled at me, his face red with anger. “I know how it feels to be useless, I know what it is to lose someone!”

              “She’s my family! She’s the only one I have ever had! Nothing can replace her!”

              “And what are we?” Zoey asked, walking up, sitting next to me.

              “We are your family too Calian.” Alice stated, sitting on the other side of me.

              “I know it’s hard kid, but sometimes we have to accept that we cannot do anything.” Albert insisted, holding out his hand. “Come on, let's get some sleep.”

              “You don’t have to be alone either.” Abby mentioned, grabbing my other hand. Both Alice and Zoey push me up as Albert and Abby pull. Tears began to flow freely from my eyes, and I fell into both Abby’s and Albert’s comforting arms. I felt two hands rubbing my back as I cried.

              “There there, it’s ok to cry.” Zoey whispered; her voice soon followed by Alice’s.

              “You can lean on us when you need to.”

              “Come on, Craig has a bed ready for you back at our camp site.” Abby said. She guided me away from the carnage Ash left behind.

              “Thank you…” I whispered out through shuddered breaths; However, it went unheard to the group. As I stumbled into my room, I found a note lying on my bed.

Dear Calian,

I am REALLY sorry I could not help heal Valory, however you are welcome for the two times I saved you. Next time you look in a mirror, look at your back. You might find a really big scar where Ash impaled you through the heart. You were too angry to notice, and you really should be dead right now. Well, you’re welcome and stay safe!

Sincerely,

Your Benefactor.

I crumbled the note up and threw it across the room and screamed in the silence of the room. “Who are you!” As I took of the shirt I was wearing to go to bed, I found a large hole in the back with blood on its edges. Sure enough, when I looked in the mirror, the was a large circular scar with jagged edges in my back. I fell into bed with a cry of anger and fell asleep.

[lilikags]

♡ ·  ·  ·  · 𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄 | 𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐋!𝐀𝐔

៚ · CHARACTERS | diluc, childe, thoma, kaeya, albedo

៚ · WARNINGS | mention of Crepus's passing

៚ · NOTES | i swear i dont have a favorite idol group (narrator: she is lying) and if you can guess which which enstars group(s) i like from this post i will hug you and give you my affection

" I PROMISE MY VICTORY TO YOU, ON MY HONOR. True princes, under the name of Noblesse. Signed as an idol group, Noblesse comprises of five young men under the names of Diluc, Childe, Thoma, Kaeya, and Albedo- each with their unique voices harmonizing upon the sparkling stage for all to admire.

── ♡ :: DILUC

✩ If each of the members of Noblesse were princes, Diluc would be the charismatic one. The one with the most commanding stage presence of all, the one who would seemingly be the leader of the group.

✩ Diluc is very popular among fans and even idols alike, and he has quite a good reputation. Between idols, he's very professional- concise and respectful, just like in the business world. He chooses his words carefully, and he rarely loses his temper around others.

✩ He also has a very clean record- none/few scandals, outside of many businessmen being angry that he decided to become an idol instead of focusing on Dawn Winery after his father had passed away.

✩ While many have positive opinions about him (and perhaps some thinking he may be a little too formal at times), the only incident that one could truly remember was rumors of him having gotten into a bloody fight with Childe and Kaeya. (Although the rumors have died down quite a lot, many still remember when asked.)

✩ Diluc's singing is powerful and elegant and is described as "a mellow promise". His singing is very consistent and can do long notes, but he rarely is given high notes or raps.

✩ Diluc always has strong opinions of whether the group should release a certain song, even if it was written by one of the group members or given to them by their agency. He cares a lot about the success of the group, not only for himself but for all those who depend on them.

✩ Diluc rarely writes songs, and if he does, he doesn't often want them to be performed by the group, and he won't often choose to perform them either. He feels that his songs doesn't fit the princely theme of the group, and sometimes, they're a bit too personal to share with the world.

✩ In terms of dancing, Diluc is a pretty good dancer. His performances are powerful and clearly well-rehearsed. He's often praised by the dance teachers and the choreographers when they're around because of his fast work in learning the choreography, and he always loves to work with them as well. He holds a lot of respect for them, and they like his natural talent in dancing.

✩ Diluc's not the most synced of the dancers, though Noblesse isn't really the most synced group out there, due to their inherent differences in values. But nonetheless, they're able to pull off amazing performances and their choreographies always put their individual talents and habits into consideration.

✩ Aside from being an idol, Diluc is also a model. He models for various companies, usually high-end or luxury brands. He's very selective of which offers he accepts and he's very expensive to hire.

✩ Despite him becoming an idol as well, he's still involved in Dawn Winery quite a bit. He no longer holds an executive position, although he is still the owner and communicates with the board of directors regularly.

── ♡ :: CHILDE

✩ As an idol, Childe is pretty well respected for his skills. He's quite good at dancing and singing, has a pretty wild reputation (in a good way), and, of course, he's quite handsome.

✩ Childe's singing is energetic and fun, a lighthearted yet meaningful oath to the listeners when he sings his lines. He always brings in a bit of fun to the songs, even as romantic as they are.

✩ He doesn't do many long notes, but he often does the high notes for the group and some of the raps. Even though one may say his voice has less volume than some others, he is still a powerful singer, and sometimes he does add in a giggle here or there into the song.

✩ His dancing is also really good, and like Diluc (and mostly, the other members of Noblesse as well) he's not the most synced. His dances are a bit bouncy, very energetic. All the fans can tell he's having fun up on the stage.

✩ He's better at faster dances; slower songs tend to be a bit more boring for him unless it's a challenge. Sometimes his voice does shake a bit when he's performing, and he's great at improv when things go wrong. He'll play it off like it was intended.

✩ Childe's also popular among both idols and fans, as neither are immune to his good looks! To fans, he's charming, and they see a lot of content of him because of his constant streams. (It's so easy to see him a lot and fall for his charms, he's so silly)

✩ He also knows everyone (and their mom /j)- he has connections everywhere in the industry. He's worked in a lot of places and hopped around a lot, but for now he's settled with Noblesse and is (somewhat) happy. At least, it's exciting.

✩ However, some people do dislike working with him, as they think he is too free spirited on does things on his own terms. But he always gets his work done on time, so can they really complain?

✩ Childe actually writes a lot of songs. He can take a lot of things and put them into song, though his forte is always going to be parodies. (And he posts them on his social media posts. He gets made fun of sometimes but they're really funny)

✩ Childe is not only an idol- he's held a variety of jobs over the years, from odd jobs around his neighborhood to a variety of careers now. He's held jobs as babysitters (he was actually good) and lawn mowers (decent) before, but now he's juggling being a streamer, voice actor, actor, and a model.

✩ Childe actually streams pretty often, but they're often shorter streams, from usually around 10-40 minutes. He jokes around and talks with the chat, and usually they're pretty spontaneous. (Pro Tip: have notifications on)

✩ He does a lot of stupid things on camera (including many challenges he finds online), and everyone loves him for it, and sometimes he does sing and dance to show off a bit. Of course, he's not only silly but he's also cute and sexy at the same time.

✩ Childe's also a voice actor- he's pretty good at it too. He has a very unique yet versatile voice, and he plays a variety of roles. He is often casted for iconic shows with big budgets, and he always gets a main character. He's good at both the main character and the villain. (He has that famous villain laugh)

✩ Alongside being a voice actor, he's an actor as well and has starred in a bunch of shows, all who use his name to boost their name. He mostly goes for movies and rarely TV shows, unless it's really interesting. He gets a ton of offers, so he gets to be selective with what he picks- especially because he's so busy.

✩ Like many other idols, Childe is also a model. He accepts jobs from time to time, in which he puts his good looks to use. A lot of people know he's great for ads, especially since his fanbase is so loyal to him, and thus he gets a ginormous amount of offers. Of course, he only picks the ones he finds interesting. (if your offer is crazy enough, he'll be likely to accept it)

── ♡ :: THOMA

✩ In the whole instability of the entire group, Thoma is the one that keeps the peace and is an overall positive element to the group's uniqueness. If there's one with a burning passion, another which flows through the rough waves of the sea, an ice-cold arrow amidst the sky, and an intricately carved presence, the warm, subtle flames is what's holding them together. In other words, Thoma is the sane one.

✩ Thoma's singing is sweet and gentle, and many fans say it "warms the heart". It's reflective of his personality, and that's one of his charms. It gives a sense of lighthearted sincerity, one that tells that he truly enjoys being up on the stage, and while it might be tiring to be practicing for lives, dealing with such individuals in the industry, and everything in-between, he wouldn't have it any other way.

✩ Thoma and Childe (mostly Thoma) are given the high notes, and he's pretty good at long notes too- though, he's not as good at rapping. He and Albedo share a lot of lines.

✩ His voice is still powerful like the rest of Noblesse (it's one of the things they're known for) but, his isn't forceful or overwhelming. It's dynamic and charming, while keeping its gentleness and sweetness.

✩ Thoma is pretty good at dancing, and he's pretty adaptable. His dances tend to be cool and energetic- he loves making himself look cool. He also has a pretty stable voice when dancing- he makes it look so much easier than it is. He also has a really good stamina when on stage- he can go for more songs than the average.

✩ Thoma also knows how to breakdance and do a lot of other dancing tricks, and he films them a lot to share with his fans. (it makes him feel cool- though he's already cool)

✩ The member who writes the most songs for the group is Thoma; he's somehow especially good at coming up with concepts for songs that fit the knightly theme of Noblesse. He's gotten quite used to a lot of the common vocabulary that is used in their songs, and he can be often seen at his desk, pen in hand and writing down some ideas he has for future songs.

✩ Thoma actually reads quite a lot. He reads a lot of books, mostly, among other texts he has to read or that have caught his interest. He's taken a slight interest in royalty romances as of late, since they're an inspiration to the types of songs that Noblesse releases. They're not his best cup of tea, but he finds them enjoyable too.

✩ Thoma also writes songs for himself and other artists, and he's collaborated with a lot of others on numerous occasions. Everyone loves working with him.

✩ Speaking of how he's known, his reputation is very positive, both by fans and others in the industry. He's a pleasure to work with and he's often complimented as hardworking and talented.

✩ Among fans, he's adored quite a lot. There's an astonishing amount of Thoma fan blogs and accounts out there, especially because he interacts often with his own accounts. (a huge boost in his popularity is because of this)

✩ He communicates with his fans a lot through his streams, where he mostly cooks or does lifestyle explanations or singing streams. The fans enjoy them a lot, and he does too. He thinks he looks cool on them (he does)

✩ Thoma is a great cook, and his cooking streams get so many views not only because he's a famous idol, but he's just a great chef in general too. He cooks all kinds of dishes, but one can tell that he has favorites too. (which also the Kamisato siblings enjoy)

✩ He does lifestyle videos on youtube and occasionally on stream, though not too often because he's quite busy. He's actually really organized, and he shares a lot of his tips on keeping your space clean and organized. He's such an icon in that. He also has written a book on it- it sold pretty well too.

✩ His singing streams are always enjoyable, and there are never any disputes of whether he lip syncs or not because he proves himself during those streams. Some may say that he sounds better on stream than on stage.

── ♡ :: KAEYA

✩ Kaeya is known for being the "mysterious" one in the group, Albedo coming in next. He knows what to keep to himself and what to share with the public.

✩ Kaeya's singing is charming, and in a sense, calming as well as being strangely alluring. It's not overwhelming like some others, and it's sweet, though not in the same way as Thoma's.

✩ Kaeya isn't given a lot of high notes, but he's been given his fair share of long notes. He has a little bit of a hard time with them, but he's gotten quite good at it.

✩ Kaeya is also the main rapper of Noblesse, though both he and Childe do a lot of the rap parts in their songs.

✩ He makes the choreography looks easier than it is, although they always have a hard choreography. He doesn't sweat that much either, which makes it seem easier too.

✩ He usually has the same expression on when dancing, a closed-mouth smile (which he opens when he sings, of course). It's uniqely Kaeya, it has its own vibes.

✩ He's also very adaptable to what kind of dance they're asked to do, and he's pretty flexible as well. (He's good at dance challenges) He's also really good at improv for when things go wrong.

✩ Within the industry, he's known to be a pleasure to work with as well, though it's hard to tell what exactly he's thinking and some may feel that he has more thoughts that he hasn't shared. (He acts professionally and a little distant)

✩ But nonetheless, he's quite in demand and respected throughout the industry. He came seemingly out of nowhere and is known as a powerful force in the industry now- partly because of his fans and also his talents.

✩ There are an absurd amount of Kaeya fanpages on the internet. Pretty much all social medias have at least a few fan accounts dedicated solely or partly to Kaeya, and larger ones have more than one would even want to count. The fans are known to be the "hardcore Kaeya fans".

✩ Kaeya keeps a lot of his information to himself, and he uses that to make himself seem a bit mysterious. The fans feel like they know him well, but there's also a lot that they don't know (that they wish to know).

✩ He also does a lot of modeling jobs outside of being an idol. He receives a lot of offers, and he can pick the ones he'd like to model for. He mostly accepts offers from luxury brands- he looks very good with jewelry. He does some clothing brands too aside from jewelry brands.

── ♡ :: ALBEDO

✩ Albedo is the one who writes a lot of songs for Noblesse, alongside Thoma. He's a great songwriter, and he works together with Thoma to make some decisions regarding the group, as he's also the most levelheaded of all of them.

✩ Albedo's singing is calming and gentle; it has a sense of stability, and his voice rarely ever wavers, even while dancing. It's kind of lighthearted, yet somehow there's so much meaning in each of his lines. It's not the lines themselves but how he says it with such heart. It doesn't sound the same when someone else sings it.

✩ Albedo's stability allows for him to do a lot of long notes, although he rarely raps. He doesn't have the biggest voice range, thus he doesn't have a lot of high notes, but his voice is very unique.

✩ In terms of dancing, he has very precise moves. They're clean and easy to follow, and he's always on beat. Even if something interrupts him, he can elegantly get back on beat without problem.

✩ He rarely ever makes mistakes even live in front of the big crowd, so he doesn't need to pretend that any mistake was actually intentional. Thus, he's not very good at improv, but he can always keep calm and think rationally whenever something goes wrong.

✩ Albedo learns the choreography easily and quickly when it's well laid out for him. He follows it step by step and repeats it. If he messes up, he looks at what he's doing and what he's supposed to be doing, identifies what's different, and fixes it.

✩ Albedo's reputation in the industry is very positive. Many enjoy working with him, and he's described as a brilliant young man as both an idol and songwriter and composer. He's respectful, straightforward, and a pleasure to work with.

✩ His reputation among his fans is very positive; they basically have one (1) bias only, and it's Albedo. They're pretty chill though, in general, and they rarely ever make fun of him. They will usually put something about being an Albedo fan in their bios though.

✩ Albedo is also a songwriter, and his songs are very popular and in-demand. He writes songs that match the princely theme of Noblesse well, but he can also write songs for other themed groups as well.

✩ A lot of people want to co-write songs with him. He works better alone, but he doesn't mind working with other people. It's a learning experience for him, and those he will always welcome.

✩ A lot of artists would like to be able to perform one of the songs he writes. They're pretty well known in the music industry, and they often get a lot of demos before they can find the best person/group to sing them.

✩ He's written a lot of songs that people are familiar with but don't associate with him, because he didn't sing it. (He wrote it) He always appreciates it when someone recognizes him for writing it though!

✩ Albedo does modeling work too, but not that much. He doesn't really enjoy it; he's not creating anything really- though, it's not something that he particularly minds doing either. Sometimes they do pique his interest (sometimes), but he'll accept a job if someone he knows is offered the same job and they want to model together.

✩ Albedo also paints (professionally). He paints a lot of scenery, canvas paintings out in the wild. His paintings sell for a high price as well, and not really because of his idol status. (though, the price that fans are willing to pay is astonishing...)

✩ He will sometimes go out to a scenic place he has in mind when he has a free day (though, he'll sometimes just be excused from work to work on a painting since he is a big money maker for his agency anyways). He'll post pics of the painting on social media sometimes; the fans love it. Sometimes, if he can get a good enough connection, (or is in the mood for it) he'll stream while painting, he doesn't mind it much, and the fans love it.

WORD COUNT | 3186 words

NOTE FROM LILI | THIS IDOL AU HAS BEEN BREWING IN MY BRAIN FOR LIKE . A YEAR AT THIS POINT i hope it wasn't too long v_v and im off hiatus yaaay. if you wanna be tagged for the rest of my idol au stuff send me an ask !!!! either off anon or ur URL being somewhere in the ask. ty !!

[taglist will be tagged in the rbs!]

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[genshingarbage]

Hiii, Good Morning/Good afternoon/Good evening Mod Kaeya,Mod Diluc^^, It's my first time requesting, Can I request? Angst with any Genshin Impact characters?,Soo The genshin characters are much more spending time with Lumine? Then the reader asks why they aren't spending much time with them and the genshin characters snaps and said the readers are weak ( reader is already insecured because they can't fight) and they have work to do then the reader leaves to fight hilichurl camps and unfortunately there's 2 Mitachurls ,luckly the genshin characters were on time to save the reader? Then they apologized to them? (It's Gn reader^^) sorry if it's alot and sorry if my grammar is wrong you both can disregard this ask stay safe ^^

Good afternoon dear Traveler!! Well done for making your first request! And such a lengthy one too oh my~ Your grammar is fine don’t even worry about it. Sorry for the long wait, Mod Diluc and I have been busy on the Kuzuha banner haha but I hope you enjoy this tear jerking tale (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧- Mod Kaeya

Recommending this song for this oneshot!

Go checkout Anna_drw01 for more art like this!! Here’s her artstation!

The distant scientist, renowned for being hard to get close to was someone you used to consider one of you closest friends. The two of you spent day and night together, hellbent of cracking open every single challenge you possibly could together. Many considered you two to be able to solve any mystery put in front of you together.

The keyword was together.

There was a mystery you yourself couldn’t solve; Why was Albedo’s time with you slowly becoming a rarity?

You’d been wondering why he’d been spending so much less time in the lab he’d meticulously built over years of his life or on site where his precious research was being buried little by little by crystalline flakes, tending to his experiments and recording time sensitive data that would be valuable for months to come for the research team. Albedo had been gone so long both you and Sucrose had designed a plan in order to cover the work he’s left unattended whilst managing your own on top of the store. It was beginning to get concerning. If the leader of the investigation squad was absent constantly then what did that mean for the rest of you? Surely he was only gone for the sake of something important he’d found, something he placed above everything else he was researching. That’s what you lent yourself into believing.

That is, until you saw him with her.

You couldn’t blame him honestly, Lumine was gorgeous. Her golden hair and fiery eyes are what a lot of men probably look for in a partner, even more so was the mystery behind her origins and the raw power she held in her fingertips at any given moment.

You didn’t have to have a vision to be able to tell that.

Maybe that was another thing he sought in her.

A traveling partner that could wield the powers of the elements, a traveling partner that could hold their own against the world. Maybe that wasn’t all he was looking for but also a romantic partner.

He finally came back to the investigation camp briefly one night, it was during a particularly rough blizzard ravaging across Dragonspine and the areas surrounding it a little like a turbulent child tossing snowflakes across already painted, buried monochrome peaks. He trudged into the camp with her rambunctious adventuring party, shouted something over the whipping wind about how they should get warm inside one of the communal tents dotted around the sparse camp halfway up the summit you inhabited and then ducked into the burgundy tent you were working away in with nothing but the clinking of vials harmonizing with the bubbling of flames. It was nothing but candle light right then in the morbid lonely night, only the sounds of the howling gales outside of the ones in your lab. If you’d felt like you were being watched during the night before now, Albedo’s piercing analytical gaze did nothing but soothe the loneliness you’d held inside yourself all night.

“I need a strong multi use Geoculus locator, if we have any.” The blonde said

He must’ve seen your shoulders perk up because he waited patiently as you searched through the shelves upon shelves of prototypes you’ve developed. After somehow finding one, you patted over to him. He seemed pleased with your work, if a bit distant as usual. He was in a good mood so you guessed would be the best time if any to ask. “Sir… with all due respect why have you been away so long?”

Albedo’s pale face was blank as usual though he blinked as if surprised you spoke, “Lumine needed someone with a sufficient Geo vision, I happened to be the one she knew the best to get the job done.”

“So you’ll be returning?”

“I never said that.”

You tried not to take it harshly, this was just how he spoke after all. “…could I come along then?” It was a long shot yes but you still missed his company, if it meant having to deal with him getting buddy buddy with that Outrider then you would suffer. 

It was quiet for a moment between you two as you stared him down and he observed the locator thoroughly. After he was pleased enough with the golden glowing device it was packed away into his back pocket without so much as a second thought, the man was obviously stalling while he thought carefully over the question but the result wouldn’t be to your liking evidently. You were about to make  a point you hoped would be convincing before he spoke, his voice sharp and words cold like the very ice being tossed around the blackened sky.

“No, you’re not a skilled enough fighter so you’d only slow us down more than we can handle to be right now. You’d be useless to us.” He put a hand to his chin for a moment in thought, “If you’d had been able to development a synthetic elemental burst like Sucrose’s swirl mark II…I would have considered but you can’t even do that.”

Watching him leave with them the morning after was torturous, they rushed off into the snowy landscape with barely a goodbye and never a second glance from Albedo beyond that. It stung.

Maybe that’s why when hilichurl camps, specifically ones becoming a nuisance to caravans as well as supply lines along Dragonspine almost avidly to the near point where there would be commissions called in, were brought up in conversation you elected to take a weapon and simply clear them out yourself. You could barely fight one off but usually they were smaller towards the base of the mountain so you figured it would be alright. You would just patch yourself up if you got a bit injured. Surely the pain of the injures would busy your silly little heart long enough to forget about Albedo and his cruel words to you, surely you would barricade your feelings of pining behind walls of broken bones and struggling through the snow. Maybe that was the remedy, the answer you needed to your mystery. Your pleas would probably be hidden by the snowstorms anyways.

Mitachurls unfortunately inhabited bigger camps. Thankfully, Frost Lawlichurls tended to live alone. The former happened to find it’s way to you, charging with the might of a bull on ozmanthys wine. As you were bowled over you heard an abrupt shout, maybe saw a brief flash of familiar golden light as the battle grounds around you erupted further into chaos but it didn’t matter that pale arms were abruptly gripping you to a panicked sword user. Your vision was to blurry, the shouts of attacks and spells too muffled and faint, your body felt too limp to comprehend even the though of moving. You could barely breathe.

Someone was muttering, crouched around you and holding you close, muttering something over and over again. Something important. The feeling of their lips pressed against your forehead, his quiet gut heaving sobs as he rocked you back and forth. Albedo’s pleas for you to just hang on a moment longer—

Where were you again?

There was sunlight and it was warm, a pleasant warmth that almost lulled you back to the sleep you’d fallen into. The only thing that kept you awake was that this was indeed not your bed.

Where were you?

Sitting up hurt, your whole body ached and you were certain something must have been rearranged or was missing because the pain shot through you like an arrow. Your sharp exhale alerted the two others in the room, one who immediately sprinted to get a nurse in an emerald and navy flurry of skirts and capes.

You were dizzy, only steadied by a gentle hand on your limp shoulder. Ah, when did you turn to face him?

The blonde man infront of you asked if you remembered what happened, his voice was soft but didn’t hold any emotion. The smoky circles around his beautiful striking cerulean eyes did nothing but worry you slightly as they implied a long period of time without sleep. You’d imagine him to be the sciency type who didn’t really know what to think of other people so he stayed nose deep in books to pass the time, though there was a deep sadness in the way he held himself you couldn’t understand.

“I don’t…who are you?” You thought you saw him flinch but figured it was a trick of the light.

“No one important, nevermind me.” The man sat up with an unreadable expression even for how blank it had been for this whole brief conversation after you had awoken, getting up from his chair to begin walking to the door when he stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“…for what?” You didn’t understand.

“Nothing that would natter now, please. Rest.”

You didn’t remember.

[dandelionflower]

She sings alone

When they got to the room, Adrien was sitting at an enormous piano, playing a jaunty tune and bouncing in his seat. He wasn’t even looking at the keys, his eyes roaming the room and choosing to stick on-

Lila.

Oh.

Okay, maybe he hadn’t seen her come in. After all, the piano was really big, so even if Adrien was looking directly at the door, he might not have seen them come in.

Lila danced around the room, orange skirt warping around her legs as she spun near to Alya and pulled her deeper into the spacious closet, taking one of her hands and joining it with Nino, leading the pair in a quick-paced dance until she was satisfied that they would carry it on without her.

Adrien’s eyes stayed on her, closing slightly as he allowed for a fond smile.

Okay, okay fine. That was fine. Adrien was allowed to watch his friends! Even if his friend was (ugh) Lila. Marinette drifted further into the room, keeping to the walls as other friends mimicked Alya and Nino’s lively movements.

Finally, (finally!) Adrien’s eyes caught hers and he gave her a cocky wink as the song he was playing changed bit by bit until it was the accompaniment to her favorite pop song; one they had sung together on their way back from their first date.

Marinette’s lips turned up in a fond smile (she really couldn’t resist those green eyes, huh?) as she took a deep breath and-

“Living in my own world...” Lila hummed out the starting notes, approaching the piano with a coy smile, like Adrien was doing this for her. “Didn’t understand…”

Marinette dug her fingernails into the heel of her hand. This was fine. This was fine. Nothing wrong with a couple of friends singing a song together! Even if it happens to be one of the friends’ girlfriend’s favorite.

Lila hopped up on top of the piano, turning her waist so that while her knees faced one of the walls, her torso was pointed directly towards Adrien, so Marinette wasn’t even able to see what sort of expressions she was making.

...not that she needed to. Because she wasn’t. No one liked a jealous girlfriend, and anyway, Adrien knew Lila was a liar! So there’s no way he could be interested.

Lila leaned forwards, recapturing Adrien’s attention from the keys and forcing it back to her face. Adrien tensed in surprise, but seemed to relax even more than he previously was once his eyes landed back on Lila’s face.

Aaaaaand that was that. She needed to step out for a second.

Marinette pushed off of the wall and began traversing through the dancing pairs, eyes on the doorway. She had only made it halfway when Alix grabbed her and began leading her in an odd dance of her own.

“My usual partners are a bit occupied.” She quipped, jerking her head towards Kim, who was trying fruitlessly to get Chloe to join him on the floor. Nathaniel and Max had their own partners as well, though Sabrina and Marc seemed a bit more acquiessing than Kim’s intended. “Thought since you weren’t dancing, you’d like to join me.”

Marinette remembered all the times Alix had protested cancelling or even postponing class dances due to scheduling. During Bubbler, Alix almost seemed disappointed for the party to be over. Even though she never claimed to be as formal as her father, it was clear that she loved dancing in a crowd with only another person as her anchor in the waves of people.

She put on an encouraging smile, not looking at whatever scene was happening by the piano. Alix was her friend, and if she wanted to be dancing, they would dance.

“Sure thing. Thanks for thinking of me.” Marinette could focus on this, just this, until the song was over and she could go, or, even better, join Adrien by the piano.

It wasn’t a problem, until at the end of the song, Adrien’s voice harmonized with Lila’s in a chord that was so beautiful, it shattered her heart in more ways than one. Alix spun Marinette and between rotations she saw how close the two were, and how excited Adrien seemed. She caught her in a dip and Adrien pressed the keys in the final note, everyone separating from their partners to applaud the musical duo.

“That was great, you guys!” Nino placed a hand on both of their shoulders. “A match made in heaven!” His eyes caught Marinette’s and he amended his statement. “A professional match made in business heaven?”

Lila laughed and gave a mock bow. “Thanks, Nino. I wasn’t really planning on singing; after the rock slide accident where I had to call for help in the freezing cold for hours, I didn’t think my vocal cords would be up to it, but when I heard my favorite song start playing, I guess it was just instinct.” She shrugged in a gesture of humility that was about as real as the rest of her.

“Well, your instincts were great.” Adrien commented, standing up from the piano bench and giving her one of his wholesome smiles. “I really enjoyed playing with you.”

“Likewise.” Lila smiled back until her gaze wandered to Marinette. (Of course, everyone but her boyfriend was looking at Marinette (nope, no not bitter at all)) “Oh, Marinette! You’re still doing the costumes right?”

Marinette nodded, once, teeth grit into a smile.

“I found the most beautiful dress,” she spun to a box that was sitting by the wall, picking it up to bring it to Marinette and show her the red silk inside, “and I’d really love it if you’d modify it for me?” She tilted her head forwards and gave Marinette pitiful eyes. As if she didn’t already know Marinette couldn’t say no in front of everyone.

“Of course. I’d just need your measurements and what you want me to do with the dress.” She could be a ventriloquist with how little she was moving her mouth.

“Great!” She pulled out the bottom of the dress, showing off a familiar skirt. It was the dress from the picture. “I’d really like it if you could make it more form-fitting, less poofy, you know?”

“Don’t you think we should ask if we can modify these dresses before we make any decisions?” Please don’t make me ruin such an incredible dress. “Technically, they are historical artifacts.”

“Grace said you could redesign the costumes, right?” Alya tapped at her phone and pulled up a recording she had made.

“Your main job will be refitting and redesigning all the costumes for your friends.” Grace’s digitized voice affirmed Lila’s request.

“That settles it then,” at least one of her teeth must have cracked by now, right? “I’ll just get your measurements and edit the skirt. I’ll need to do it some other time, since I don’t have my-”

“Measuring tape?” Lila whipped out a stylized tape from the box. It was rose gold and was almost calling to her. “I found this near the dress. I’m sure it will work.”

Marinette took the device reverently, running her thumb over the engraved vines on the sides before catching herself and looking up.

“That’ll work. Can you hold your arms out?”

Marinette took Lila’s measurements with a practice ease, and rechecked before typing her numbers and desired modifications into a document on her phone. When she looked up, she was surrounded by boxes and her friends, looking at her with hopeful eyes, as well as a stack of suits of each boy, none of whom seemed to care.

“Okay, what do you want changed? I already have your measurements.” She knelt down and sat beside Lila’s box, letting her friends come to her. This was her favorite part about designing; giving people what they wanted and making them look however they liked.

Rose and Alix both wanted the fabrics from their dresses converted into suits. That was easy enough. Alya found a sweet orange dress that she just needed refitted. Juleka muttered something about “less wide, but still swishy.” Mylene wanted the opposite; to give her dress a larger diameter.

All in all, Lila’s would probably take the longest, because she wanted all the complexities of the intricate gown to be stripped off and for the silk to be repurposed as a cocktail dress.

Marinette nodded to herself and began stacking boxes, looking up at her friends who were still standing awkwardly nearby.

“Guys, these are way too many boxes for one person to carry; let’s each grab a box and take them to Marinette’s room!” Lila chirped, leaning down to pick up her dress, the hem of it dragging on the grimy closet floor.

Everyone murmured an agreement and picked up their respective costumes, filing out the door. Marinette was the last one out, but just as she was about to step out, she found herself face-to-face with Lila.

“You haven’t found your dress yet, have you Marinette?” Her voice was saccharine sweet, but with the masked loathing that Marinette found herself recognizing whenever Lila spoke to her. “Why don’t you spend more time in the closets?”

Before she could realize what was happening, the closet door had slammed in her face and clicked with what Marinette was certain was a lock.

“Oh no, Marinette!” She heard Lila’s muffled ‘concern’ through the door.

“What happened?” Alya’s voice grew louder as she approached the door, or, more likely, Lila.

“Marinette stopped to tie her shoe and I must have bumped the door closed by accident. I feel so guilty.” Sure, and the tears Lila was crying right now weren’t crocodiles.

“It’s fine girl,” Alya reassured her (no, it wasn’t fine!), “I’m sure Marinette will forgive you. Here, give me your box; I’ll take it upstairs while you go find someone who can get her out.”

“Right.” The sound of receding footsteps; they must have left. “Just as soon as I have a chat with one mister Agreste.” ...or not. There was a cheery ring of the phone, and Lila’s smug tone melted into something more pathetic. “Adrien! Come back downstairs, quick! I’ll meet you at the front desk.” Lila chuckled and left with a single knock at the closet door.

...Great. She was stuck. Through sheer habit from akuma attacks, Marinette traced all four walls with a finger, looking for another secret passage, or even a normal one at this point. Nothing, because of course when she’s comfortable she finds a random exit, but not when she actually needs it.

She groaned and fell back against the wall, sliding to the ground and tilting her head back so she could close her eyes and pretend she wasn’t actually in this situation.

The people I’m closest to either don’t know what’s going on or think it’s handled. She thought morosely. So I might as well get comfortable.

Just as she was about to let herself take a little cat nap (she could hear Chat Noir snickering now), she heard a trill come from the piano. Her eyes cracked open and slid to the corner of the room with the instrument, thinking that maybe one of her friends stayed behind.

But no one was there.

Marinette’s curiosity won out and she approached the keys. They pressed down in a few familiar chords; another one of her favorite songs. She wasn’t really sure how self-playing pianos worked, but it must have been ‘programmed’ with some of the more recent pop songs, despite the fact that the room looked like it had been untouched for years, aside from their recent discovery of it.

Shrugging, she sat down at the bench, watching as the keys continued playing the introduction to her second favorite song. She had nothing better to do, why not?

“I’ve got a lot of things I have to do… All these distractions, our future’s coming soon…”

She sang through the entire song, leaning to her left side occasionally, like some other person was sitting beside her; someone that hadn’t left. Marinette closed her eyes and adopted the illusion of company. Blond hair, beautiful eyes, a teasing grin- no a half-smile, like he’s hiding how much he’s enjoying this. Even though he knows she knows he loves it, just like she does.

Just like she loves him. Her grumpy dork. Her Fe-

There was a clatter near the door, and it crumpled, revealing Allegra, leg out in front of her like she had just kicked it down. Which she probably had.

“Marinette? Lost again?” Her laugh seemed shaken, nervous. She had expected to see someone else.

“Something like that.” She matched the laugh; Allegra’s business was her business. Not Marinette’s.

“Well, come on out.” She gestured over her shoulder. “Your friends are looking for you.”

They walked together out of the ballroom and into the main entrance of the building, where Alix and Kim accosted her immediately.

“Marinette! We need your help. Nino’s gone missing?”

~

“Grace!” Allegra barrelled into the room like a tornado. “He’s here! He’s manifesting.”

Her clipboard clattered to the floor as Grace’s knees buckled. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Felix! He’s here.”

Grace sighed. “Felix is an apparition, ‘Legra. Barely even a poltergeist. He has a mild presence, but there’s no way you could have actually seen him.”

“Oh yeah?” Allegra whipped her head at her, flames in her eyes. “Earlier today, I found Marinette in the hall of portraits. She said she followed a black cat through a tunnel.”

“Well- that could have been-”

“And, and just a minute ago, I heard the piano playing and singing. When I came into the closet; it was just Marinette. She thought the piano was self playing, Grace. As in, she wasn’t the one playing.”

“Felix didn’t play the piano.” Grace reminded her. “Bridge did, because-”

“Because her voice sounded like a dozen murder victims, I know.” Allegra rolled her eyes. “But it was Felix who taught her how to play. Gracie, it’s him.”

“It’s not.” Grace glared at her. “There’s no way he could be coming back so soon.”

“Fine, keep being ignorant. But I’m telling Finny, and he’ll believe me.” Allegra stormed out of the room, turning over her shoulder only once. “Oh, and it looks like Nicky has come out to play, so get ready to handle that.”

……

The rest

@merry-madness @calliopeia @drama-queen-supreme @kaydenth3gayden @mcheang @nomiegnome @never-say-donuts @vixen-uchiha @miracul0us-multishipper @hauntedfreakdeputyhero @chocolatecustarddanish @iwantswifttoblessmysoul @digitalmagpie @ilseofskadi @nerdy-and-a-little-birdy @minty-goose @nataladriana9 @aestheticnpoetic @constellation-king @animegirlweeb @persephonebutkore @ahalloweengirl @r0sebutch @marinettepotterandplagg @beelzzebop @akalovelymaybe @pleasefollowmeuwu @angelost4r @constancetruggle @speaknowtome @some-oxymoron @nerdy-scifi-birdy @purplesundaze @aestheticnpoetic @neptuningkai @2confused-2doanything @goggles-mcgee @grumpy-kitten-vixen @artemisdragona @lookatthestars1 @demonicbusiness @toodaloo-kangaroo @crazylittlemunchkin @vice-artist

[duskamethyst]

at last.

a/n: in celebration of reaching 200 followers. thank you. i’ve started this piece months ago but constantly failed to find the will to continue whenever i opened the draft. however, the response i’ve received from my other works gave me the drive and i knew i had to finish this.

word count: 4.1k

genre: smut, nsfw, fluff

pairing: musician!semi x f!reader

warnings: mirror sex, soft dom

summary: you and semi are in a band together. though having feelings for the male, you’ve always kept it professional until one night...

“thank you for tonight! you guys were amazing!” you speak through the mic enthusiastically, waving to the crowd as they cheered on and begging for an encore at the same time. “we hope to see your faces again when we come out with new songs soon! please continue to support us! we love you!” your lips curl into a huge smile, stepping off to the back of the stage while waving your fans goodbye before the staff hands you a towel to wipe off your sweat and a mineral bottle to cool off.

it’s another amazing night in a different city for you and the band. the feeling of having people enjoying your music and your voice is overwhelming and to have such wonderful bandmates to join you in this journey for three years now has you feeling beyond blessed.

the band started small, having the drummer and bassist as your high school besties while the guitarist, semi eita was later picked up along the way when one day you blasted on your socials and the small music stores stating the band needed a new guitar player. your band was pretty well-known in the town you live in, showing up and performing at a few gigs and now you’re much more familiar in the industry and often play in different cities. 

semi was one of the few candidates that was chosen to be part of the band. much to everyone’s surprise, playing the guitar wasn’t his only talent. semi was able to write lyrics, produce and sing and that’s what made him stand out among the others. while making the decision with your band mates, you guys knew not to pass up on him and today it proved to be the right decision you guys had made. 

to describe semi eita, he’s incredible. a genius and a sight for sore eyes. hell, he could even pass to be a model if he was into it. you knew that his addition to the band could garner more fans through his skills and looks. on his first night at the gig as the guitarist, you noticed how some of the girls there were ogling him and especially recording him through their phones, even the older woman who was practically forced to be there almost every night by her husband paid more attention (and you believed it was because of semi’s presence) as your band performed. maybe the fangirls could start off by drooling over his looks before they could slowly support the band entirely, hence building a bigger fanbase. 

you feel a little bad for him. you believe that semi is more than just his looks but you can’t really blame people for liking pretty things– it’s only natural. semi has a burning passion for music and what he does and he works tirelessly for the band. he gives his all when he writes lyrics and he uses most of his time by himself inside the studio, learning and enhancing his skills further. you often accompany him in the studio, offering your opinions when he shares the new lyrics he came up with and the studio would be filled with harmonizing voices of yours and his. 

a weird fuzzy feeling engulfs you when you learn that semi had always especially asked for you to join him in the studio and never the other guys, but you alway shrug it off; reminding yourself that it’s only because of work and nothing else.

though no matter how much you try to deny your feelings, you know you’re already head over heels for semi eita.

you sigh and put down your luggage as soon as you walk into your hotel room before looking out at the window to see the fans that were swarming as you arrived earlier begins to dissipate slowly. as you’re smiling and being lost in your thoughts, you start to hear strumming sounds from the other side of the room– undoubtedly semi’s. 

it’s way past midnight and you’re all tired from the tour and the recent performance. while all you can think about is getting inside the tub and having a good night sleep, semi on the other hand can only think about the next show and creating new music. though he’s much more new to the industry compared to you, he works so diligently and it makes you feel a bit guilty and shameful. so you decide to come up to his room and see if he needs anything– or maybe just to persuade him to stop thinking about work and go to sleep. 

“eita, it’s me.” you say as you knock on his door. you hear the strums come to a halt before he opens the door for you. “gosh, you look terrible.” 

it’s only partly true. his hair is disheveled and he only has his jeans on from earlier but you try so hard not to check him out and quickly walk inside his room. semi closes the door as he turns to you, “you’re not asleep yet?” 

“no, i heard you were playing and that’s why i’m here. you know you should be sleeping instead, right?” you sit on the couch where he was sitting earlier. sheets of paper are spread on the coffee table and you pick up the one with the lyrics that he wrote. 

“sorry,” he apologizes as he sits next to you and notices the one that you’re reading. “but it’s good that you’re here too.” 

ignoring the little skip your heart made, you refuse to look at him and read one of the lines out loud in an attempt to play cool.

“i’m alone,

“i just wrote that one in the van earlier.” he scratches the back of his neck as he laughs nervously. his eyes never tearing from you, just watching while you scrutinize through his little work.

i’ve nowhere to go,

but you gently held my hand.”

you smile as you finish reading the last line of his incomplete lyrics and turn to look at him, “i wonder what it sounds like?”

“ah, i haven’t figured it out much but i think it could go like this.” he grabs the guitar from where he left earlier and places it in front of his chest before slowly strumming a few chords. you watch as his fingers sweep up and down across the strings, his black nails that you painted weeks ago are only left with little residues. 

it sounds exactly like you heard in your room earlier. his voice and the tunes he’s making fills the room and it sounds absolutely beautiful. you can sense the longingness in his work this time around, a little different from what he used to play but a little change doesn’t really mean bad– it feels like something that many people can relate to.

you gleefully clap your hands as he stops playing and a faint blush creeps up to his cheeks which he hopes you don’t notice. 

“what’s your inspiration this time?” you ask as he puts back down the instrument.

“well…” semi sighs and leans further into the couch. “someone special to me– the reason i started pursuing this.” 

a heavy lump suddenly forms in your throat, making your stomach churn at the thought of semi having someone special in mind but you quickly shake off the feeling. you’ve always been close with the male, he was easy to get along with from the start and semi would agree that out of all the members, he spent the most time with you; though it's only because it’s strictly on a work basis and you respect that, and you remain professional.

“must be. you’ve never written anything so personal but tell me all about it! you know i won’t judge.” you force a smile, hoping that it’s not too obvious and instead semi laughs at your eagerness to know about his little puppy love. 

“it’s not even that great. i feel like it’s rather ironic– the reason i pursue this is also the reason we can’t be together.” he looks at you as he speaks, as if searching for something.

“damn, that sucks so bad.” you lean back to the couch with him and gaze at the ceiling while imagining the type of person semi would like and start to mindlessly compare yourself to them– putting you down even further.

“you get it, right? on top of that, i think we would lose some fans if we start to date.” he continues as he rests his arm behind your head in a more relaxing manner. he hopes that he emphasized the word clearly so he could get a reaction from you.

however, you only laugh a bit at his consideration. you can already imagine the online articles being bombarded about semi being in a relationship, not forgetting the snarky remarks and lashes he and his partner might get on stan twitter and the thought makes you shudder.

“but i would want to see you happy... even if it’s not with me.” you mumble lowly before realizing what you just blurt out on the last part. “i mean- i mean- i was thinking from a fan’s point of view, of course!”

the sight of you being bashful and constantly avoiding to make eye contact with him is endearing to him. he can’t help but to laugh and it provokes him to tease you instead. his hand creeps up to pull and tuck away the strands of hair behind your ear, instantly drawing your attention to the male next to you. you’re waiting for him to speak but he only stares quietly at you with a gentle smile across his face. 

“what?” you’re surprised at how meek you sound and you know he notices it when his smile turns into an amused shit-eating grin. 

“really? you’d be happy for me?” he asks, leaning his head down on the arm he has hanging on the couch back. 

“um, yeah? since you’re my–”

“friend?” he cuts you off in an instant. “i’d be happier to at least know that you’d feel jealous, though.” 

jealous? you blink and nervously laugh at the poor joke, “why would i be– you’re funny. anyways, go to sleep!” 

semi’s lips tug into a frown as you stand up from the couch and when you’re about to take a step away, semi grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him. he wraps his arms securely around you and buries his face at the nape of your neck, inhaling the very faint scent from your expensive perfume you had on before the show. 

“you’re so close, yet so far.” his hot breath fans against your skin as he murmurs with a hint of frustration lacing his voice. 

thinking not too deeply into it, you disregard the butterflies in your stomach, “yeah, i think you can put that in the song.” you attempt to reply coyly, concealing any suggestions of you being a total nerve-wreck right now. 

“god dammit.” semi curses. he turns your face to look at his, “this isn’t about work anymore.”

“what–” he presses his lips on yours and his arms pull you closer to him which your body wastes no time but to completely melt into.

semi pulls away to take a breath, locking his brown eyes with yours as he speaks. “stop making me feel so lonely.”

“i’m… sorry…?” your apology comes out unsurely, not knowing where this conversation is leading up to and it’s making you feel apprehensive more than anything. there’s no way he’s confessing, right?

semi sighs as he runs his fingers through your hair, “i used to only play the guitar as a hobby but you’re the reason why i even thought about getting into this band.” 

you’re out of words to speak from the abruptness and remain quiet before he continues, “i thought i’d be happy enough just being close to you but i realized i wanted more than that. am i being selfish?”

you break free from his grasps and turn to the blushing male before curling into his chest. semi’s body is still as he processes what’s happening and slowly relaxes as he wraps his arms around you again.

“no, eita, no. you’re not.” you reassure. “i really had no idea.” 

“then, can i kiss you again?” 

“whatever you want, eita.” you mutter under your breath before he gently cups your chin with his fingers and pulls you into a deep kiss. 

for the second time that night, you feel as if you’re on cloud nine as your wet tongues twirl against each other in your mouths. a faint taste of tobacco and beer still lingers on his tongue but you pay no mind to it when you’re too busy drowning into your own ecstasy. 

semi manages to push you down on your back without breaking the kiss and props on his knees before his hands wander all around your body. a gasp passes your lips when he squeezes your breasts against your shirt and his lips move down to nip on your neck. 

“e-eita...” you breathe and the male pulls away to look at you with heavy lidded eyes– and they’re filled with desire. 

“whatever i want, right?” he whispers and you nod your head before he delves back down to litter bruises on your skin. “and what i want is you.” 

warmth surfaces on your cheeks as you hum in response, a subtle reply to tell him that the feeling is mutual. as soon as semi lifts up your shirt, he quickly tips down to tug your bra and latches his mouth on your hardened nipple while his fingers tweak the other. the stimulation causes your body to jolt in pleasure and you can practically feel yourself drenching in your panties.

semi glances up at you expectantly when he notices your thighs are pressed together underneath him. with his other free hand, he lifts up your denim skirt and rubs circles on your clit against the damped fabric. 

you mewl and tug his hair gently as your hips desperately grind against his finger for relief. 

“does it feel good?” he speaks softly. “you’re so wet for me.”

“y-yeah.” you mumble a little bit in embarrassment after he pointed it out but semi finds it to be endearing as he lets out a breathy chuckle. 

“i’ll make you feel even better,” he grins, bending your knees up and spreading them apart. “but i need to hear it.”

you nibble your lip anxiously, “please?”

“please what?” he coos, though he’s already settling his head down between your thighs while he looks at you with passion filled eyes.

your lips feign a pout but your pussy twitches when you feel his finger pulls your panties to the side, “please make me feel better.”

“good enough.” he smirks before spreading your puffy folds and sticks out his tongue to lap off your essence. 

a loud moan rips from your throat as he sucks on your clit and purposely teases it with quick flicks with the tip of his tongue. your legs start to tremble and try to close together but to no avail since semi holds them apart from crushing his head. 

there were nights where he could only touch himself while imagining how you would sound like writhing underneath him but tonight, you made his dreams turn into reality. your moans and whines are like music to his ears and they’re better (and he knows it would be) than what he expected. now semi is driven even more to hear what more beautiful sounds you can produce for him.

semi groans when he slips one finger inside your tight hole and you cry in surprise as you feel his finger brushing in and out through your walls. he can feel that the walls are already sucking him greedily while your hips jerk to fuck yourself with his finger.

“god, you’re so fucking hot.” he grunts, inserting another finger and fucks you ruthlessly. you can feel your orgasm building and threatening to tip over when his finger curls, hitting your g with every drag. 

“fuck, eita–” you pant as your toes curl over the unbearable stimulation and causes your body to shake. 

“feels great, hm? i want you to cum all over my fingers.” he toys with the swollen bud before harshly sucking it.

“mmhh– gonna cum!” your eyes screw shut as your orgasm finally crashes down and your pussy gushes and flutters around his fingers.

your breathing turns erratic and a whine escapes your lips from the emptiness when semi pulls out to lick his fingers.

“you taste so fucking good.” he groans, hovering above you and crashes his lips onto yours so you can taste your own juices from his tongue before he pulls away breathlessly.

“i want to make you feel good too, eita.” you whisper almost innocently and push him back so he can sit down on the couch. semi watches you as you kneel beside him to unbuckle his belt and proceed to unbutton and unzip his jeans swiftly before he helps you release his throbbing dick from its confinements. 

you nearly gawk at the size of his cock; thick and veiny, tip flushing red with a bead of precum. you give a few strokes with your hand and a sharp hiss rolls off his tongue as soon as he feels your tongue swirling around the slit and slowly taking a fair amount inside your mouth. 

“fuuuuck.” he sighs as he sinks into his seat further, eyes closed shut as he lets you take over. you offer the pressure needed by pressing the bottom of the length with your hand and hollowing your cheeks while your tongue runs up and down the rest of his cock, slobbering it with your saliva. 

“oh, fuck– baby. that feels so fucking good.” tears prickle from the corner of your eyes when you force yourself to take deeper into your mouth and his hips jerk when the tip hits the back of your throat. semi’s hand finds itself on top of your head; he makes sure not to tug your hair too hard as he guides you bottom to top and a pop sound is audible when he pulls you away just before he feels like he’s about to cum. 

he wipes the tears from your eyes and kisses you while pulling his jeans and boxers all the way down before continuing to carry you off from the couch with him and leads you to his bed. 

“can i?” he looks at you concerningly and you nod your head yes.

“take it all off.” he commands once he puts you down on the bed. what seemed to be the gentle semi is long gone but his dominating side makes you undeniably excited so you easily oblige, peeling off your clothes until you’re bare and naked in front of him.

“on your knees.” he orders again and you submissively get on your knees but he stops you before you can lean down on the bed. “face the mirror.”

you turn your head to see the large mirror in front of the bed and shift again as he climbs on the bed and props behind you. 

“i want us both to see how pretty you look when i’m balls deep inside you.” he grins.

a soft mewl rolls off your tongue when semi smears your juices through your slits with his cock. he grabs your hips for leverage as he slowly penetrates into your hole and you bite your lip hard when you can feel his girth stretches you out both painfully and deliciously. semi gives you a moment to adjust and after receiving the green light does he begin to move his hips. 

“i’ve waited so long for this.” he growls, black nails digging deeper into your skin that'll be able to leave crescent marks by the end of the session as he pounds his cock into your cunt erratically. 

your cheek is pressed down and your hands clutch the bed sheet as you feel his veins brushing against your walls and his tip kissing your cervix with each thrust. semi’s breathing is already ragged from above you, hips diligently rolling into you as he picks up the pace. 

“look at you, baby– fuck– i’m so lucky.” you moan at the praise, subconsciously feeding to your ego; to be desired by semi and to have semi fucking you into oblivion. 

“s-so good.” you whine, glancing up to the mirror to see yourself but what you’re mostly able to see is the man behind you. his toned abs, ash blonde bangs almost covering his eyes and brows furrowed in focus as he ruts into you mercilessly like a feral beast and it’s fueling your arousal even further.

a mischievous smile etches on his lips as his hazy eyes light up once they meet yours through the reflection, “i don’t think you can see yourself that well.”

you feel your body being lifted up abruptly before he makes you stand on your knees with your back against his broad chest. in front of you, you can clearly see the mess he has made out of you; hair unkempt, pussy slopping and dripping down his balls and the sheets from where your bodies are connected. 

“better.” he smirks through the mirror. both of your eyes fixed on the reflected image ahead; your tits bouncing up and down as he continues to thrust into you while his arm wraps around your torso to hold you in place. 

“so– pretty. my baby– my muse.” he says in between grunts and takes one hand to cup your face. “can you see my cock go in and out of you?” semi intends to show you how lewd it looks by pulling out his thick cock slowly and pushing back inside your pussy in an agonizing pace. 

“yes, fuck– eita.” you sob, staring at the mirror ahead as you see his cock glistens with slick when he pulls out from your stretched cunt and fills you back in, edging you at the same time. 

“and what happens when i touch you here?” he coos, reaching down to press your clit with his thumb. a shock of pleasure washes through your body, making your eyes roll back and your head thrown back to his shoulder. “come on, you can tell me.”

“it’s-it’s gonna make m-me cum.” you whimper as your hips roll desperately against his finger and each time he plunges into you. 

“and you’re gonna sing my name when you do, right?” 

“yesyesyes– please, just–” semi cuts you off by continuing his pace again and the knot in your stomach tightens at the feeling of being stuffed full when he rams deep inside you along with his ministrations on your throbbing bud.

his other hand pinches your pebbled nipple and causes you to keen in pleasure and you finally open your eyes to look at the mirror again to see the compromising position you’re in and the way he manhandles you; having absolute control all over your squirming body with both his hands and his cock– and it got your vision turning white as you tip over the edge. 

“eita!” your lips part into a scream as your pussy flutters around his cock and come undone. the walls squeezing him elicits a low growl from his throat and he holds your body with both his arms as he remains to fuck you in order to chase after his own high.

“fuck– that’s it.” he kisses your head when you let out a choke from the overstimulation. “i’m gonna fill this pretty pussy.” sporadic thrusts begin to stutter as his balls tighten and his cock twitches inside you to indicate that he’s close to reaching his orgasm and a loud moan rips from his throat as he finally comes undone. 

semi stills for a few moments inside you, catching his breath and regaining composure before he lifts your body slightly to pull out his softening cock. your trembling knees fail to keep you up so your body falls down on the mattress and semi chuckles at the sight as he joins next to you. 

“you did so good for me, love.” his sharp, brown eyes gazes adoringly into yours and a soft smile tugs the corner of his lips as he caresses your hair. “was i too rough?”

“just a little,” you blush. “but i liked it.”

semi sighs in relief and draws closer to give a chaste kiss on your forehead, “i’ll run a warm bath for you, alright? then we can go to sleep.”

you nod your head, feeling warm and fuzzy when he holds you in his strong arms before he leaves for the bathroom. as you wait and hear water filling the tub, your mind wanders how you’re going to break the news to your manager about your blossoming relationship with semi. 

and semi thinks about the same thing too. 

whatever it is, it doesn’t matter to him. 

as long as he has you.

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[kekoma]

— semi as your boyfriend.

can’t imagine not crushing on this man. hope you enjoy.

many many thoughts with this man.

so many that it hurts in good way.

first of all, semi MOST LIKELY named one of his guitars after you.

and i’m not talking about some ordinary guitar that he may occasionally play or anything— nah, i’m talking about the most expensive one that’s gorgeous.

takes the utter most care of that guitar since he plays it often and no one is allowed to touch it.

def learns the songs you like and covers them because this man has bomb ass vocals. i said what i said and won’t take it back.

or he just plays the melody, asking that you sing instead (if you’re up to it)

when semi isn’t covering/playing songs for you then he’s writing them about you.

you’re his sole inspiration for most of the songs he ends up creating and you’re also the first one to hear it before anyone else too.

also something to point out— he creates most of those songs during the night when you’re around.

semi knows most late nights can pull out the strangest topics but it can also open you and him up at the same time when it comes to emotions.

so he’ll be staring at you from his computer chair with his guitar resting on his lap, listening precisely to every word that slip pass your lips as you laid on his bed; rambling about your emotions and how you’re thankful that the universe has put you two in the same timeline.

suddenly he starts strumming a soft tune that makes you feel like you’re floating and turning those words you said not too long ago into something lyrical, something that you two will understand but those that hear it would need to decipher (because there’s no way he’s making it easy for outsiders to understand)

AND if you know a few things about music, can sing well from taking lessons/taking a chorus class in school and/or play an instrument then semi is going AWOOGA 😍 

def can see him wanting to collab with you or asking if you could be his hidden vocals/use your voice in general (meaning he would ask you to record a fake voicemail or say his name a certain way so he can put it in the song)

although if you aren’t comfortable with that concept then he understands and won’t push you to do anything.

whew let me move on because i could literally go on and on about this man being musically talented.

anyways, semi def creates a bunch of playlist for you. 

each one having a description for why it was made and the feeling he wants to give off with it.

something i feel like he may also do is send over songs he currently listens to and says you should listen to it too so you both feel more connected.

BUT really stepping aside from music.

he’s extremely caring and respectful towards you.

truly studies you, making mental notes about everything and makes sure he avoids cause any discomfort.

when it comes to caring— semi semi here might go out his way to show you through his actions if he feels his words and physical touches may not be enough.

i’ll say he’s a bit clingy— dude loves being around you no matter what.

for sure invites you to his volleyball practices and games.

you’re his lucky charm and he enjoys the thought of knowing you’re supportive of him when it comes to volleyball.

also he’s supportive of anything you do as well, even shows up to your events too (but if it clashes with a volleyball then he won’t be able to go obviously but he makes it up by ordering food in and asking you to tell him all the details about what happened)

now i briefly brought pda earlier and its about that time to talk about it... does eita like it?

yeah he does but it’s not very common in public.

the best you’ll get from him is holding hands, small pecks on the lips/cheeks and ONCE in a blue moon will he wrap his arms around you from behind.

there’s no real reason for why he’s like that but hopefully you’re understanding.

now in private; he does a bit more pda. kisses become a bit more frequent, won’t pass up the chance to hold you in his arms through cuddling or whatever.

side fact: semi definitely likes when you’re in between his legs, your back pressed against his chest and the guitar would be settled on your legs— basically teaching you how to play (if you ever asked him to)

“where do i place my fingers next?”

“right here... you’ll bring your pinky up a bit but keep these two fingers on the the second fret.” he’ll carefully move one of your fingers just to put them in the correct place.

“then you’ll strum. i’ll let you try it without my help this time.”

literally would smile when you do it, finding himself falling deeper in love with you than before.

semi adores that you’re willing to learn something he’s very passionate about it and appreciates you for even taking the time for it when you could do other things.

vvv soft and we stan that here.

moving on— lets talk about nicknames really quick.

drumroll please 🥁🥁🥁 

top nicknames: my melody/melody, love, angel and occasionally he’ll toss in lotus along with bambi. 

had to keep it cute and interesting <3 semi isn’t going for the basics.

something to mention, we’ve all seen the way he dresses in casual clothes... now you can either a) hype him up about his clothes to the point he’s no longer concerned about how tendou says he looks uncool or b) help the boy out with his style just a bit. all up to you cutie.

heh now let me discuss dates right because whew~ dates with this cutie? hits deliciously.

of course most of the dates are music related so tickets to a concert is on there, going to certain places (such as a park with others and a little picnic set up) to see free performances from new/upcoming artists and etc.

“that last set was actually good, don’t you think so melody?”

“yeah~ i liked the emotions the singer had in her voice. it really connected with me but what do you think?”

“same thing as you. however, did you notice how they had a shift in the cords that created the perfect harmonic? and it wasn’t completely soft too.”

“now that i think about it, my ears didn’t catch on the first time but yeah. oh look! the next act is going up~!”

but when he isn’t dragging you out for that then he mainly takes you out for a drive/walk around the city, cafes, those karaoke places that also serves food, shopping and stay-at-home dates which he tries his best to make them fun (there’s probably more but im just naming a few here)

dates are normally chilled with him and always fun so we loving it.

bonus: semi FOR SURE has you as his lockscreen. no doubt about it.

he loves waking up to your picture in the morning or even checking the time because he gets to see how adorable his love is.

also on his sns (instagram mainly)— he has a highlight called ‘me and my melody 🎶🤍’ which is filled with a bunch of pictures of you two together.

the pictures are so cute that they end up on Pinterest and everyone starts  spamming your dms with “so 👀 does your boyfriend have any siblings?”, “can you drop a tutorial on how to get a fine boyfriend like yours?”, “ayo 😳 think i can have him on the weekends and you get him for the weekdays?” and much more crazier things we won’t mention here.

another bonus: probably sings you to sleep if you’re having trouble sleeping. don’t try fighting me on this because i won’t allow it.

ANYWAYS, to conclude this before i have complete semi brainrot— dating this man is a 10/10 and it’s worth it.

we love semi eita over here <333

© all content belongs to kekoma 2020. do not repost, modify or translate.

[wellntruly]

Ranking the Chess Boyfriends in The Queen’s Gambit

Note: what exactly defines “a Chess Boyfriend” will be mmm half-explained as we go

Note 2: spoilers ABOUND below; no significant spoilers previously when I mentioned this had been a pastime of mine while watching Sexy Chess 

Let us begin...

NR/Not rated - Mr. Schaibel

NOT a Chess Boyfriend!!!! Chess Dad!!! 😭

Mr. Schaibel taught Beth chess when she didn’t know shit, and so will forever hold a totally different position in her constellation than any of her competition that will come later. But I cried my heart out over this gruff awkward janitor man so I just wanted to give him a moment anyway!!

Okay okay now we can actually start:

6. Harry Beltik

I’m sorry but miss me, no, I cannot abide a Harry Beltik. When you see a Chess Boyfriend you should be like ‘ooo you again,’ not ‘ugh, you again.’ The man has nothing to offer, just old chess books she’s already read and a gloppy sentimentality. AND, let us not to forget that Initial Appearance Beltik? Was a total prick! LITerally showing up 15 min late with Starbucks just to show her how much he didn’t respect her? Prick behavior. And we already have Beth.

5. These Guys

Cute. Cute! I don’t even know their names, but honestly? Not even a ding, because their role is so purely Sidekicks.

These guys perfectly model a classic Chess Boyfriend arc, but are just WAY more fun about it than Harry: begin antagonistic (little snobs when she first met them, striding up to the sign-in table at her first tournament with nothing but a bad bob and her iron-clad will), before either gradually or rapidly discovering that they are now wearing ‘Beth Harmon is MY Queen’ T-shirts. Do they have anything at all to teach her? Ha ha no. But there is great value in the Chess Boyfriend who is simply a good tournament pal, especially when they come as a pair.

4. The Russian Kid

The reason why Girev is a GREAT little Chess Boyfriend, earning a solid middle-of-the-pack ranking despite only appearing once, is because when the two youngest players at the Mexico City Invitational end up playing each other, they both have this attitude like they cannot believe they’ve been placed at the kids’ table, and it is hilarious. Guys, you ARE the kids! Their journey to realizing that they are in fact kid COMRADES is contained to only this episode, but if you just take a moment with me and ~*imagine*~ what you would have felt if Beth had seen him again watching in the audience at Moscow (p.s. show why not), I believe you will understand why I think this relationship really matters!

3. Townes

The ORIGINAL CHESS BOYFRIEND. [Beanie Feldstein voice] He in-vent-ed the role! A KEY feature of the top tier Chess Boyfriends, which we have now entered with a BANG, is that Beth has to keep continually running into them in her professional sphere, and D.L. Townes excels at the perfect reappearances on both the micro (Beth’s first tournament) and macro level (press queue!!!!)

There’s also just all the rest of his qualities, such as:

turtleneck

handsome

“Harmon”

brings you coffee & all your other Chess Boyfriends

and, has his own boyfriend

STAGGERING that Kentucky Ledger here is not #1, but it’s Sexy Chess and incredibly, there are two left.

2. Borgov

HOW COULD IT NOT BE BORGOV. These two chillily circle each other on three different continents. The mystery! The nerves! They never speak more than a few words to each other and it’s only ever at a chessboard. Beth cries in front of him. I don’t know how else to express the strange stilted intense intimacy she has with him, Vasily Borgov, her white whale, except for maybe when she gets to Moscow and he’s hurriedly rushing over from his own game to look down on her finished board after she walks away (!)

In maybe most versions of this show, Borgov is the Ultimate Chess Boyfriend. But as mentioned, IT’S SEXY CHESS, AND INCREDIBLY....

#1 with a Bowie knife: Benny Watts

Some days you think that nothing surprising can come out of the contemporary American television Sexiness Apparatus any more, and then other days Netflix dot net goes and pops out Thomas Brodie-Sangster as a cowboy who loves chess. The physique of two twigs and the face of exactly what he is, the 30-year-old version of that wee drummer boy from Love Actually, in a full length leather duster and wide-brimmed hat with a cocksure attitude and his own book he’s written about chess openings---how, respectfully, the fuck does this work!!!!

But being a hotness Benoit Blanc mystery does not alone bring him to the top of the list. No Benny is here because there is no other Chess Boyfriend who can so ably just hop in a car with Beth after a tournament and drive her across three states singing along to the radio with her, playing chess out loud in their heads, and quizzing each other on Russian. Fucking....adorable nerd nonsense..

He protec, but he also attac, (and likes it best when you attac back), it’s BENNY: the Best Chess Boyfriend. Next question.