#i just think the memes of his father and brothers reacting are funny

[rga531]

[hibiscusseaart]

i wanna draw some ideas with AU or even write smth but I feel like shit :')

I'm gonna throw some hcs here and there

Also, question for you ppl! How do you think their kids would call their fathers? I hc that Tobirama refuses to go by any motherly terms (and to break Madara's heart, he doesn't like to be called 'wife' either).

Madara of course takes the more standard position of The Father cuz clan head and all that. Tobirama is more Tobimama cuz he was with their kids the most when they were little.

But I'm asking more traditional terms. Madara as Chichiue/otou-san and Tobirama as Tou-chan and 'papa' when they're little?

Oh and some endearment terms for the pair.

Tobirama uses A LOT of them. At first to convince everyone and especially Madara himself that he is actually in love and then he actually got used to it. Madara doesn't hear his own name from his husband much lmao

Before marriage he'd call him 'Beautiful' and tease him like "Ah, you wanna dance, pretty boy?". He noticed how well Madara reacts to praise, especially of his appearance since he had an ugly duckling phase and had complexes.

Maybe later before the peace treaty and engagement he'd call Madara 'fiancé', cuz the fucker promised

When they're kids he might've call him and "Madara-chan". I mean he still has the experience from his first life and he was around kids a lot and here's little madara running around looking all small cute and funny. Ofc he's Madara-chan or at least -kun.

To be clear Tobirama probably didn't feel anything romantic towards Madara before he turned at least 16, it'd be hella wrong otherwise. Like he trained kids his age before!

But he was definitely fond of him cuz let's be honest Madara is hella cute and funny kid. That was one of the reasons why Tobirama didn't actually kill Madara when he got there. He can't just kill an innocent kid even if he has the potential to destroy the whole world.

Oh and he def called baby Izuna "-chan " just cuz he's a baby too and to see him lose his shit.

So in marriage Tobirama would call Madara lot of endearments. My love, my dear, husband dear, darling, my heart and ect.

But he doesn't like all that mush like cutie patooty or whatever. I cant imagine Tobirama even saying word 'Pookie' 😭

not here kitten whiskers daddy will discuss it later

For Madara it's an interesting story

As kids he'd try to call Tobirama "his future wife" and got thrown in the river or the river was thrown at him. He didn't get the same reaction when he called him "his future husband". Tobirama just slightly nod and Madara would be so happy for the whole day.

He'd also tried to call him beautiful once, but got shy and ran away. Maybe to go fight Hashirama to fight off frustration on himself. He's a good shinobi and he can't even compliment the boy he likes!

But he would initiate some hand holding and even hugs. Even though Hashirama REALLY didn't appreciate it. He can allow hand holding. But hugs? Hell no, "Madara get your dirty hands away from my innocent baby brother!! >:((("

"Anija, please calm down, I don't mind hugging."

"I do!"

Basically this meme but with hugs and baby Hashirama

When they had the fall out and Tobirama orchestrated meetings, he didn't use any terms and tried real hard to forget and bury his feelings cuz Tobirama is an enemy (even if he looks SO good when he fights)

He's an Uchiha and it didn't work. Especially cuz Tobirama still showed a lot of interest and tried to make peace.

Maybe once Madara would try to write some angsty poems about Tobirama's beauty and grace and how they couldn't be together because they're in warring clans. He thought he sucked so much but the poems are quite decent. Tobirama would appreciate it if he finds them.

After marriage he'd call Tobirama "Blessing" a lot. NOT bc of that Blessed AU that's circulating around, but just cuz he truly feels blessed that Tobirama chose him.

Oh and he'd be proud as a peacock to call Tobirama "His husband"

But when he's overwhelmed by feelings he'd be "my wife.... WIFE" - Tobirama really doesn't know where is it coming from, he's not even a proper wife by traditional japanese standards and he doesn't bottom much cuz he doesn't like the whole process of preparation (he's a busy man he can't stretch his ass for several hours straight)

also thinking about how after their deaths Madara's poems and letters to Tobirama while they were engaged but couldn't see each others and Tobirama's journal would be found and someone (probably some of their grand kids?) would edit it a bit and publish as a book as the most wholesome Romeo and Juliette story.

If Tobirama and Madara would get resurrected* again - they'd be like "THEY DID WHAT"

Especially Madara he'd be so embarrassed 😭

*it'd be a good thing for Tobirama to never actually leave any traces of this jutsu in the world, but he worried for his children and left them notes and some of his DNA in case something happens and Konoha needs saving or the whole world once again. Though maybe he'd made something of a counter seal (maybe a tattoo?) or counter jutsu that the person who summoned him wouldn't be able to control him.

ok I got it out of my system, i'm gonna go sleep now

[acircusfullofdemons]

Questions: 1,, 4,, 18,, 19,, 20 for the Para Motivation Ask Meme please !! (ෆ ᴗ͈ ω ᴗ͈ ෆ) I’’d like to request Neil and Ozzie,, but you can do the paras you’’ve most recently been daydreaming about if you’’d like !! ( ◉ ω ◉ )

[ ASK GAME ] || (I'm pretty sure you meant the para relationship ask game lol) Funnily enough Neil & Ozzie WERE the last paras I daydreamed about!! They were doing kinky sex while I was working and uhm I think Neil might be ace?? We'll get back to that at some point. But I'm also gonna do Alice from @fractured-fables since I drew her earlier & also Emory bc there's now a sign at work that looks SO MUCH LIKE HIM it makes me loose my mind.

1.) What’s their relationship with their parents like? Is there one parent they’re closer too than the other? If your was raised by a different caretaker, what is their relationship like, and how does your para feel about the absence of their parents in their life?

Neil: Technically doesn't have parents as he was treated as an experiment since the minute he was born. However, his father was a scientist at Arcaynis (the organization that's experimenting on people). He willingly subjected his own son to horrific experiments, but thankfully(??) Neil didn't know this. He doesn't really have any parental figures, and kinda wished he did. Maybe he wouldn't be so fucked up if someone held him a little bit as a kid.

Ozzie: His father was very abusive, but thankfully his momma was always ready to defend him. He is a very big momma's boy and yknow, I think they still talk sometimes. He probably sent her some of the money he stole when he was a villain.

Alice: Does not get along with her parents. Well. Its complicated. She loves them, they love her, but they don't really "get" her, if you catch my drift?? Objectively speaking, they're fine parents, just probably not the best for Alice. HOWEVER, Phineas becomes like her second dad/uncle/older brother figure in Wonderland, and those two understand each other SO WELL. Funnily enough, they actually hated each other when they first met! Both for good reasons but nowadays you'd never know. Also did you know some people ship Alice & Hatter romantically??? They are Wrong. So very wrong thats her dad!!!

Emory: His "backstory" gives him parents, but they're also dead and desperately need to be buried bc they're rotting corpses are stinking up the house. He doesn't really consider them his "parents", anyway. Technically, he doesn't have any, and he's perfectly fine with that. Still, Theia likes to call him her son sometimes which is kinda funny so he allows it and humors her by occasionally referring to her as his mother.

4.) Who was your para’s childhood best friend? When and how did they meet? Are they still friends?

Neil: Dahlia!! She was the daughter of another scientist at Arcaynis, but not an experiment. Neil loved her, she was quite literally the ONLY good thing in his life. Dahlia wasn't supposed to sneak into wherever Neil was being kept, but she was curious. And stubborn, because she kept coming back almost every day! Eventually, she was encouraged to interact with Neil to observe how he reacted to certain stimuli. Unfortunately, he accidentally killed her while he was escaping Arcaynis. He often wonders what it'd be like if she lived — would she be proud? He almost idolizes and romanticizes her/her existence. It's kinda creepy.

Ozzie: Ozzie was a very shy, soft spoken, and introverted kid. He was bullied a lot for being a teachers pet / being smart. It was rough, but Nora Osborn took pity on him and helped Ozzie gain some confidence during high school! I have not introduced her yet (bc I. keep forgetting to) but Nora is Ozzie's wife! Canonically she had roughly 8 minutes of screen time and died but I haven't fully decided on what I wanna do with her in MaaC yet. But she does exist, and Ozzie loves her dearly.

Alice: Her best friends are Dorothy and Wendy!!! They've been bffs for varying years, but all met during early childhood. I think they all just met on the playground one day, yknow how little kids are lol. And yes, they're still friends today! I call them the "iskeai girls" bc they all get transported to other worlds lol.

Emory: OK so technically Emory never had a "childhood", he's an ageless being that sort of just...exists. but uhm I guess we can say Ketrill?? Ketrill was created by Theia so they spent a lot of time together. They're kinda like brothers.

18.) How important are your para’s various relationships to them? Do they cherish the people closest to them? Does their support system keep them going? How about strangers? What are their feelings about humanity as a whole? Is it easier for them to live those closest to them vs humanity as a whole?

Neil: EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. He has never had friends/family/ANYTHING before escaping Arcaynis, so he'll cling to anything he can stick his claws in. He learns to balance different relationships (as well as the types of relationships) as time goes on with the help of those around him, but by GOD was he, uh, a bit of an obsessive stalker towards practically anyone he met the first few years of living in society. As for humanity? It sucks. Shut that shit down.

Ozzie: Oohh, he's a sappy mother motherfucker that loves his friends and probably believed in the power of friendship when he was younger (he still kinda does sshhh). He has mixed views on humanity but like, he's human too so he doesn't want it totally gone.

Alice: Depends on the person tbh. Earth? Forget them tbh. Wonderland? THAT'S HER FAMILY!!! Yes all of Wonderland is her family now lol that's her HOME. She loves it there and genuinely considers it her home, she'd live there always if given the option. She thinks humanity on earth sucks but Wonderlandians got smth going on trust her on that.

Emory: So looking at it now I think Emory is only close to like, 5 people total. That's it. I don't know if he'd consider them a "friend group" or a "support system" but he does care for them, which is saying something, as he doesn't really get close to people. I don't think he really has an opinion on humanity. Like it exists. That's it. He doesn't really...care??

19.) How does your para realize they care about someone? Is it instantaneous, or a slow realization? Are they dense, or maybe realize once it’s too late that there was something there?

Neil: He's...a little dense. To everyone else, it's so fucking obviously because he's trailing after the person like a lost puppy and is borderline obsessed with them. But he probably won't realize how much they mean until someone either points it out or he looses that person.

Ozzie: It creeps up on him. He knows he cares about someone, its the level/extent of it that surprises him! Like he thought Neil was just a good ally/coworker until something innocuous happened, like maybe he saw the other sleeping and then BAM! Head over heels in love. Incredible, really.

Alice: I feel like Alice is similar to Ozzie, she knows she cares about those around her, I guess sometimes she just forgets HOW much she cares. Or sometimes its hard to care, with all the shit they've been through/have going on. She tries her best to make sure those she loves feel appreciated, though.

Emory: Imma be honest...he doesn't get "close" to people. He's an Interdimensional Demonic Cat, The Librarian. He records everything, narrates all of it. So getting close to those he is observing...he doesn't like it. He was close to Delilah, and she died. He was a little too involved with False Moon, and they're pretty traumatized. By FF/LIW he's kinda keeping his distance. Anyway! He knows pretty quickly when he genuinely cares about someone and not solely because he wants the "story" to continue. And he will deny it until the end of time, because God forbid a kitty experience love!!

20.) How does your para expresses their feelings of care/love to others? What’s their love language (giving and receiving!)

Neil: Gift giving!! He gives very weird gifts, though. Honestly he's kinda like a cat bringing its owner dead animals?? Like uh thanks buddy but what am I supposed to do with this exactly. He very much likes receiving physical contact. Hold him. Please.

Ozzie: Quality time!! He likes taking people out to museums and aquariums, those type of places, and seeing what they point out. He also likes receiving quality time. Literally all you gotta do is exist in the same room as him he is so easy to please.

Alice: Acts of service!! She'll get your groceries! She'll paint your roses! She'll die for you! Literally!! She likes receiving words of affirmation. Tell her she's doing good. Please. Don't actually she'll break down and sob.

Emory: Physical contact. I feel like that's a typical/standard cat answer. Yes he does express love like an actual cat would. He likes receiving quality time. Just spend some time in his library, he'll appreciate it a lot.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

idk if requests are open, or if this even counts as a request or more of a prompt for u to ramble, but how do you think mozart and theodorus would react to an mc who used to be friendly towards them pulling away, and finding out somehow that it's because they were too hostile and mc gave up (in the context of them secretly liking mc and being tsundere jerks). tysm in advance!!

Requests are open! I talk about just about anything ikevamp related on this blog, so nws in regards to that~

I guess I took this as a prompt to ramble so hopefully you enjoy this meme energy 💛💛💛💛

And well, I'm a little conflicted about this one--largely because I see two possible (most likely) outcomes. I think it depends on their feelings for the MC in question, as I get the vibe that they are willing to make the effort if they deem it worthwhile in the long run (perhaps a bit callous, but hey, what can I say). If they feel they can't see eye to eye with the MC long term, then I doubt they would pursue the matter much further.

If there is enough grounding for them to want to salvage the relationship, I think they would both make some effort to make amends tbh. They may have trouble saying it directly, but I guess I see them as men of action--they'll adjust their behavior, and that speaks volumes. Maybe they hesitate before something harsher slips, changing the course of what they were going to say. Maybe they smooth over a mistake she makes before anyone can notice, saving her that social discomfort. Maybe they don't nitpick what she does anymore, just note adjustments neutrally (the tonal difference of "you clod, you're going to ruin it if you hold it that way" versus "try holding it like this, it's easier to carry and poses less risk of damage if you drop it"). I guess my impression is that they tend to be subtle when it comes to their emotional landscape; if you don't pay close attention, you could miss it.

But. BUT. If you point out any difference in their behavior. They will look away and scowl/blush which is frankly, beyond hilarious (but don't do it too much or they'll get mad, you gotta go for the spicy moments to expose them italian hand thing). I imagine that, whether they admit it or not, they do notice if you see past the surface and appreciate that you care they're trying. It helps them move from very acerbic to a more lowkey kind of pragmatism that's less biting. Tbh I'm just a shithead and would probably tease them to near death because I'm very familiar with that sort of behavior, but I also understand not everyone is comfortable with that ;;;

I think it’s less that they refuse to make amends for troublesome behavior, and more that they have a lot of paralyzing shame associated with honesty (and they don’t much like being vulnerable ;;;;). For Theodorus, I think he’s deeply traumatized by how hard his brother tries to be a good and fair person, only to remain ridiculed and ignored by the people around him at large. There’s a sense of a male culture dominated by the concept that gentleness is only an extension of weakness, and as such he feels the need to overcompensate to defend Vincent. The rough exterior serves both as an insistence that he is a grown man (parental infantilization) but also to demand people’s respect, ripping them to verbal shreds when he sees fit for survival.

Mozart’s is more obviously a defense mechanism; he rejects people and sees the worst in them before they can do that to him. I don’t think he’s as malicious by nature as he seems. I think it’s more that he’s accustomed to and self-imposes impossible standards of self-control. The emotional repression, terrible (also unpredictable) experiences at the hands of his father as a boy genius, and relentless inability to see his own value separated from his work ethic results in a man who is inevitably dissociated from his reality. He has no concept of worth beyond functionality, and no concept of worth beyond giving to a self-emptying extent. So much of his life is a kind of hyperanxious denial and paranoid shame, and it’s a pity considering his immense potential for warmth and love.

I suppose I get the inclination that they both really just need to be slapped upside the head a little ahlskfjdhsgsfdkhj. I'm not typically one that likes that method of getting through to people, but it's an unfortunate result of some forms of abuse. Sometimes people need very direct and very intense rearranging of their face holes to see the limited nature of their perspectives. Though I will say context matters: some people need very gentle, some people need more persistent measures.

(Please note: sometimes people do not want to change, and if they don’t want to, they won’t--that’s just a waste of time imo. No amount of arguing or altruism will get through in that scenario ;;;;;; but since this is an otome it’s easier to give the benefit of the doubt. Honestly I find myself torn a lot because I don't? Like giving up on people who struggle with things like that. But at the same time, I don't necessarily think it's worthwhile to beg for someone to be kinder/more aware when they have zero desire to.)

I can't really speak to Theodorus as much but I think somebody who is with him would have to be somebody who is less put off by his jagged edges ;;;;;;;; I don't think it's wrong to be sensitive to it, but the reality is that he has a hard time toning it down sometimes because of his habits. It's a part of being with him, though I think he softens considerably over time in a relationship. I see it is as a kind of balancing act. His s/o would have to be firm about the times he's well and truly unfair, goes too far with what he says/does. And his s/o would likely need to let go or just tease him about the more harmless nonsense, taking it in stride. It's about knowing when to throw a punch and when to breeze by (float like a butterfly, sting like a bee).

Mozart I'm ngl is just Pride and Prejudice material, Mr.Darcy ass. He literally just needs somebody who will read him for utter filth in the classiest way possible, until he has no choice but to strut on his walk of shame saying "you dropped this, queen 👑". I find it a little funny because as long as you roast him in a true way, half the time he isn’t even mad, just sheepish. I find him to be a unique case between the two of them because he's more guarded than reactive. As soon as he knows his s/o is willing to hear him out and talk to him if they have some kind of misunderstanding, he doesn't really go for the throat anymore. Just gets kind of 👉👈, needs some time to figure out how to broach the topic (or Jeanne slides in to mediate a little bit). His development is more of a slow upward track to more normal and very affectionate interaction.

Of the two, I think Mozart might be the best bet for the type of person you mentioned. He has a lot of capacity for responding with penitence when it's due, and acknowledging when he messes up. Theo needs a lot of control, and I think it's fair if some people can't handle the overbearing nature of it at points.

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Mother!MC with Demon Brothers + Luke Headcanons

Scenario: Instead of a younger human, the Devildom welcomes a mother (with a 3-year old son in tow) into the exchange program. 

intro + headcanons about how the brothers would interact with her 

no romance… just uwu

bonus how the brothers would treat the son (why son? Perhaps because I too want a son)

Female reader!! (MC is referred to as she in this post) 

bonus character: Luke :3c

I JUST WANT THEM TO FEEL LOVED OK

Lucifer wasn’t prone to believe in fate-- and the beginnings of the exchange program was just another reason why he did not. He let the breeze-- the wind pick a human applicant for him; and if he had gone through every application (though he wasn't completely sure he'd be sane by the end of it all) maybe this situation wouldn't have happened. 

"What do you mean you can't be one of our exchange students?" Diavolo inquired, more curious than anything, an amused smile gracing his lips.

"I have a son," she said hesitantly. And there he was, peering around at the assembly room in his mother's arms that were wrapped protectively around him.

A mother and her human child, Lucifer thought blearily. One could only imagine what would happen if both of them remained here. (Which is why he never cut corners in anything he ever did ever because the one time he does, things go to shit. Damn Diavolo for enabling him.)

--

Lucifer

disgruntled by the adjustments made to accommodate a human child and his mother; mf will he ever rest

probably has to worry about babysitting duties delegated to his brothers 

however, pleasantly surprised by MC's calm demeanor and reliable personality; finally another competent person in the house he doesn't have to really pick up after

...actually adores her and her son

accidentally does things to please her without really realizing it and hates the slight disappointment or worry he sees when he goes through sleepless nights or lashes out from anger

doesn't remember the last time he's been chastised, but he's as embarrassed as he can be when she fusses over him

the hell coffee she makes for him every morning and the snacks she brings during his breaks makes him lowkey wanna cry-- he doesn’t know how to deal with a selfless, unconditional love

is used to being a single parent ngl so taking care of her son is kinda… easy especially if the son is compliant

finds himself pressing a kiss to his forehead absently and catches himself only after he's done it (bonus points if Barbatos takes a pic of it and sends it into their trio gc) 

“Barbatos, please delete this picture.”

“Oh, are you sure about that?”

“................”

ah he's attached, and so are his brothers, which kind of perturbed him a little but he’s kind of in the same boat after a short week or so

(if there was one brother who had a chance of harboring feelings for a mother mc, it’d be Luciiiiiiii uwuwuwuuwuuw; what can I say? He can’t resist the milf) 

eventually, he opens up to her about the war-- because if there was any human he’d trust with his secrets, it would be MC

Mammon

he's crying 

he doesn't think anyone has ever talked or held him as gently as MC

similar to the game, absolutely adores her and can't even lie about it

ok jk he's still a tsundere, but blushes every time MC looks at him with a knowing look because he can't lie convincingly enough that no, the head pats dont feel nice and no, he's just eating the lunch she made because it'll be a waste otherwise, ok?!

Her son definitely thinks he’s related to Mammon

Definitely the first one to accidentally call her “mom” 

But hey don’t blame him-- he’s weak to how MC looks at him endearingly as she brushes hair out of his face motherly, like he can do no wrong 

Nothing can compare to how Mammon feels when MC tells him she’s proud of him

feels legit guilty when she calls him out on his habits of stealing things to the point he remembers her voice when he tries to do it again-- basically his conscience ngl

she's like a cold hand to his feverish forehead, a cooling balm to the burn on his hand

when she defends him from his brother's insults, swears he'll protect her and her son 

on that note, adores her son too and her son adores mammon!

surprisingly (or not) good with kids and treats them well; plays with them, very lively and dynamic

takes babysitting pretty seriously-- makes him consider the fact that he might actually want to be a father in the future if possible

not that he doesn’t have reckless endeavors with her son... they just end up okay so no one is none the wiser until it shows up on someone’s devilgram or spoken about through Barbatos/Diavolo

Leviathan

Honestly doesn’t know how to to react 

A little miffed tbh that he finds it so easy to talk to her about…. Everything??? 

When he enlisted her (and her son) to get his money back from Mammon, did he expect to rant to her about all his animes and gush about his figurines to her because that was one of the first time someone’s allowed him to indulge in his hobbies and listen patiently?

No, and now he’s crying 

And the fact she gently addresses his self-deprecating comments and urges him to see how she sees him (smart, witty, forgiving)---

Will probably do anything for MC and anything she says at this point; the pact is just a formality LOL

Listens to her and genuinely thinks the things she does for him is in his best interest 

Had a hard time knowing how to deal with her son for a while, simply because he doesn’t know what he could do to actually entertain the child

Then finds out he could literally put up TSL or any of his favorite animes and the kid will watch it-- and ABSORB

Levi might as well be the kid’s best friend at this point-- dubbs him ‘Henry’-- which is really the greatest compliment MC thinks her son can get from him

Honestly volunteers to babysit him and proceeds to spoil him rotten

Satan

Slightly annoyed at how motherly she is at the beginning-- he takes her care and actions as if she treats him like a child

Finds it frightening how soothed he feels when he’s around her

There’s something about an older, calming presence that saps the anger from him and makes him feel like he can be himself around MC

Surprisingly the second person to accidentally call MC by “mom” probably an hour after he makes fun of Mammon for doing it (lol karma)

isn't one to seek out her attention like with levi, mammon, or asmo but is pleased whenever he does have time to spend with her because she always seems to have insight on everything and a strange wisdom that all mothers apparently do

has a lot of late night talks with her about her life, her career, what it's like having a child

often finds himself asking her for advice, and even if she doesn't have the answer, he always comes out of it thoughtful and clear minded 

always willing to take care of her son; delights in reading him his favorite books and enacting the exciting scenes 

always treats him like an adult to the point that their conversations are really funny to listen to

"So would you say the author's intent of the blue door was to convey the agony of grief?"

"I like the color blue."

"As did the protagonist; hm, you bring up a good point."

the son is Satan's partner in crime against Lucifer 

"It's better if we do this, isn't that right?"

"Yeah!" MC’s child says, happily chewing on his favorite snack that Satan always gives to him and honestly not caring about the conversation at hand at all

"See? He agrees with me!”

And Lucifer just sighs bc he always loses in these arguments and Satan is unbearably smug

Asmodeus

similar to Satan, finds her presence in Devildom to be very pleasant and calming

she never seems to be disapproving of his past times, and Asmo is endeared by the way she never fails to say "stay safe" or "have fun!" or even "do you want me to leave the front lights for when you come back?"

the little motherly ways in which she shows she cares makes Asmo adore her

loves taking her shopping; always has a good time just gossiping, trying new clothes, or having a girls night out with self careeeee

when her son tags along, loves to have him dress up too or try on make up and it's too adorable NOT to post on devilgram

pretty sure MC's son has trended on devilgram before-- but that was the first and last time because Lucifer yelled at him for advertising the fact there was a human child in Devildom

which Asmo thinks is silly because he's pretty sure the caption under the selfie of the three of them ("So adorbs! I've only had MC's son for a day, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in Devildom and then myself. Teehee!") would have deterred any demon from laying a finger on him

When Asmo has him for babysitting duties, always loves to bathe him and play with bubbles, morphing his hair into an afro or an equally fashionable hairdo

actually very attentive to the child!!

Beelzebub

Not much changes from how Beel treats MC, but does view her actions in a more motherly manner 

I think one thing that would change is that-- considering MC is a mother of her own child, is actually very protective of the brothers and sensitive to their changes in moods

When Lucifer gets angry at Beel and Luke, MC is furious and furiously protective, not yielding one bit or hesitating to put herself in front of them because of her instincts-- Beel has never admired her more 

Physical strength has always something he can easily understand, but it is the strength of wills and of bravery that surprises him every time 

After Mammon and Satan accidentally calls you “mom” Beelzebub has no qualms with calling you by mom either-- I mean, what’s the shame in that? Everyone already thinks of you as their mother-figure anyways

MC helps him deal with the loss of his sister

With MC’s child… You know that one meme with the two ways dad deals with kids: one is softly kissing his child on the forehead as he sleeps and the other is carrying his kid by the leg with one arm

Both of them is Beel 

carries the kid around in the weirdest ways sometimes, including on his head, in one hand like he's holding a trophy, upside down (dw the kid thinks it's funny)

main transport is on his shoulders though; thinks it's kinda cute how the kid puts his arms around his head

wouldn't love anything more but to nap with him, but Beel is afraid of hurting him when he sleeps

Is the softest with MC’s son--- he’s not used to being the older brother, so he takes this responsibility kind of seriously 

Always makes sure the food that MC’s son eats is appropriate so he tastes/tries it first… and sometimes ends up eating all of it, but he always manages to succeed in feeding the kid so it’s all good

Belphegor

Wants to hate MC so badly the first time they meet when he’s in the attic

He’s supposed to HATE humans, damn it-- why the hell is MC trying to be so motherly and understanding, huh?? How dare she make him guilty after he lied to her like wlkjaflksjfkjasdlfj

Out of all of them, seeks MC the least; whether it’s from guilt or the fact that her presence reminds him of the things and resentment he used to hold against her 

Takes a little more cajoling from MC to talk to her and explain how he’s feeling so they can move past it

He’d rather die than let anyone else know that he teared up when they talked about Lilith and how he felt about everything; urges Belphie to talk to Lucifer and seek reconciliation with him individually (because it may be a family problem, but the feud was between the two of them, don’t you think?)

Finally gets the redemption arc he deserves and feels a lot lighter knowing that everything that has happened is now in the open and he’s ready to start healing 

In avoiding MC after the whole debacle, Belphie ends up spending more time with her son because he thinks Belphie is fascinating and Belphie has no clue why 

Similarly to Satan, treats the kid like he would anyone else but does find it amusing if the kid chases after his tail like a cat

Always ends up napping with him whenever MC’s son takes a nap-- after all, what’s easier than looking after a kid if you’re BOTH asleep?

Keeps an eye on him by putting a hand on his torso as they nap together

Uses MC’s son as an excuse to not do something, especially when Lucifer tells him to do something he doesn’t like to do

Honestly the son is a part of his arsenal-- he knows how weak everyone is for this kid (and so is he tbh but more lowkey) so cute pics of him is like… currency (Mammon WISHES he thought of this first) 

Bonus:

Luke

MC practically adopts him the moment she lays eyes on him-- how could she not? Luke may as well be her other son

Luke can’t say no, especially after she saves him from Lucifer

Definitely calls her mom by accident and the brothers tease him-- only for him to retort back that “don’t you ALL call her by mom?” and they shut up lol

Simeon still gets to tease Luke though heheh 

Really really really tries hard not to refer to MC as mom, but it slips out sometimes and no one even bats an eye 

Baking together is such a family bonding moment

Treats MC’s son most like his younger brother almost automatically and makes sure he doesn’t get into any trouble while he’s taking care of him (though he does anyways) 

Kind of likes the responsibility of babysitting MC’s son; makes him feel trusted

(MC takes the cutest pics of them together when they fall asleep; starts thinking about maybe having another child wouldn’t be so bad)

[trashyswitch]

7 Fluffy Balls of Joy

Chapter 6: 7 Puppies Becomes 6

Chase finds a house for one of the puppies to live in, and the three boys have fun with the puppy before its eventual departure.

There are a few swear words, but that's it.

This fanfic is for Shannon, the lovely person who asked for more ego content! I hope you enjoy, Shannon!

Chase was giggling and loving every moment he spent with the puppies. The puppies had grown to 7 weeks old, making them able to sprint everywhere, playfight with the other brothers and sisters, and bite everyone’s fingers till every layer of skin was shaved down.

Henrik was struggling to work with the puppies barking, growling and tappy tapping all over the ground. Looking after 8 dogs was a lot of work and a lot of training too. They were trying to think of ways to maybe get rid of a couple of them. Maybe keep Matilda and 5 puppies for themselves (Still gonna be a lot of work), and sell a couple.

“Hey Henrik?” Chase asked.

“Ja?” Henrik replied.

“Could I maybe ask my ex-wife if they want a puppy?” Chase asked.

“Of course!” Henrik replied. “See, see!”

Chase pulled out his phone and called his ex. While that happened, Henrik began to think about who else might want a puppy.

Suddenly, JJ ran to the middle of the room, with an army of puppies sprinting and barking at the man. JJ was visibly happy as he flopped onto the carpet and laid on his stomach. One after the other, all the puppies came flopping onto JJ and covered him in licks and little bites. Three of the puppies were growling and playing with JJ’s hands with their front paws and snouts. 2 of the puppies were jumping onto JJ’s back, and three of the puppies were pulling JJ’s socks right off his feet. JJ was truly the dog whisperer of the house.

Chase had to move to another room to actually listen to what his ex was saying, while Henrik was sitting with good ol’ Matilda on the couch. Matilda was a lot more calm and collected, compared to her rambunctious kids.

“Vhat’s it like being pregnant?” Henrik asked the dog.

Matilda looked up at him, and wagged her tail while her ears lifted.

“Was it painful?” Henrik asked as he started petting the somber dog. “Was it worth it?” Henrik asked as well.

Chase chuckled as he walked back into the room with the speaker on for Henrik to hear. Both his kids were pleading and begging for their Mom to get them a german shepherd puppy.

Their Mom sounded both entertained by this begging, but also slightly annoyed. “Are you boys gonna take care of the dog? Cause I’m not gonna be doing all the work around here! You boys need to help out as well!” Their Mom told them.

“Yes yes yes yes!” Grayson begged.

“we’ll do it, we promise”. Trey promised.

“We’ll feed him! And take him to go pee!” Grayson promised.

“And walk him and clean him!” Trey added.

It was around a dozen begs that the mother finally caved in.

“Alright. I think we’re getting a dog.” The mother decided.

Chase smiled as he looked at the puppies. His kids were really gonna get a dog! From his father!

“Alright, you boys need to help with buying things for the pup then. We’ll head to the store in half an hour.” She told them.

“Okay Mom!” One of them replied.

Chase listened calmly as his ex headed to a quieter spot. “So, when did you become a dog breeder?” She asked.

“Well...It’s a bit of a long story. But to sum it up: one of my roommates found puppies and brought them home. The puppies were maybe three weeks old and the mother was growly and untouchable…” Chase told her. “We didn’t know he brought them home until I got up the next morning. I just about dropped my coffee upon seeing the little pups!” Chase turned around and bursted out laughing:

JJ was being licked and bitten all over! But more specifically, JJ's neck was being licked non stop by 3 separate puppies, while four puppies were licking and nipping at JJ’s feet. His socks were completely off and placed aside, while the seven puppies overwhelmed his poor, ticklish roommate.

“Ohoho my god you have to see this!” Chase quickly turned the facetime option on and set up the camera while his ex answered the facetime call. When the call was answered, Chase had the camera focused on JJ and the puppies.

“Ohohoho lohohohord! Hahahaha!” she laughed. She brought the phone over to the kids, and showed the commotion over at Chase’s house.

The kids bursted out laughing at JJ, and made little funny comments.

“Hey Trey, you gotta be careful too if we get one!” Grayson teased.

“Says the one with the ticklish neck~” Their Mom mentioned.

“Hey!” Grayson reacted.

Chase laughed at this and walked over to JJ. “Hey Jamie! Need some help?” Chase asked. JJ nodded his head and let out a breath of exhaustion. Chase put down the phone and picked up the puppies. “Come here guys! Come here!” Chase called.

The puppies didn’t waste a second to sprint over to Chase and shower him. While Jamie was only panting from exhaustion. Chase was now the one overpowered by the puppies. “AaahahaHAHAH! Awww, ya little nutballs!” Chase fluffed each puppy’s head, causing every puppy’s mouth to open up and flop its head around. They all were wanting to play with Chase!

Jamie ended up getting up and showing the family the crowd as Chase was surrounded by puppies. “EEEEK! HEHELP! AAAH!” Chase yelled out, reaching his arms out to the camera. Right at the same time, one of the only named dogs that was Henrik’s, shoved her snout into his armpit.

“EEHEHEHE! Cahahareful Angela!” Chase told the pup.

“Is one of them named already?” Trey asked.

Chase got up and let the puppies nibble at his feet while he picked up Angela. “Yup! Dr. German over there already chose his dog and named it accordingly.” Chase told them.

“Schneeplestein, jou uncultured bas-”

Chase shot him a glare.

“-Uncultured fish!”

The Brody kids DIED upon hearing that. “Daddy the fish!”

Their mother chuckled. “Maybe you should draw that.” she encouraged.

Chase laughed. “Oho my god that would be awesome!” Chase reacted.

Feeling encouraged, Trey nodded. “I think I will!”

Chase smiled proudly. “That’s great!” He didn’t feel insulted by the idea of a fish Chase at all. He was just happy to know they were alright and had inspiration from their cool Daddy Brody.

A few minutes later, Chase ended the call and looked to JJ with a smile. “That wasn’t very nice, you know...leaving me surrounded by puppies when I was the one that saved you.” Chase teased.

JJ raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. ‘Little dog love Chase.’ he signed. The American sign language grammar was the strangest thing...but it worked despite that.

“True! That’s true.” Chase replied.

Then Jamie giggled and covered his mouth before signing the following words: ‘Chase fish with hat’.

Chase laughed and hit his shoulder gently. “Hey now! You be careful or I’ll draw you as Jamie the shrimp.” he teased.

Jamie chuckled and started fluttering his fingers closer and closer to Chase, to imitate the little shrimpies that clean dead skin off things. Chase squeaked like a little kid, and ran away. Jamie started chasing after him, signing the words ‘I clean you! I clean you!’.

“NOhoho! You’re sohohoho weihihihird!” Chase giggled, jumping over a few things on the ground. Jamie grabbed a blanket and managed to get close enough to throw the blanket onto him. This distracted Chase long enough for Jamie to grab onto him and start tickling him all over his middle and ribs. “AAAHAHAHAHAHA! JAHAHAHAY! STAHAP THAHAHAHAT!”

Jamie smirked and signed the word ‘no’...then resumed tickling him.

“Vhat zhe hell are you doing?” Henrik asked.

“Gohoho gehet Henrihihik, ya lihittle bahahastahard!” Chase argued, trying to push him away.

“So YOU can say ‘bastard’ but I cannot?!” Henrik asked.

“My kids were on the phone!” Chase shot back.

Jamie giggled and started sneaking up to Henrik in plain sight.

Henrik scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Not scary...Not to me. Leave.” Henrik tried to tell him.

Jamie started wiggling his fingers more and signing the word ‘tickle’ over and over and over again.

Henrik in response, started imitating his wiggling fingers. “Goooo tickle somevone else, vhy don’tcha?” Henrik teased.

Jamie took a moment to dramatically think and stroke his mustache. Then...he looked at Henrik with an evil smirk. ‘No’

Jamie sat down right beside Henrik and started digging into his side. Henrik, surprised by the sensation, curled away from the ticklish fingers. Immediately upon seeing his reaction, Jamie stopped and snapped his fingers at him.

‘Liar!’ Jamie signed with a huge smile on his face. ‘Liar!’

“Am not! I don’t lie!” Henrik reacted.

To prove his point, Jamie skittered his fingers on his side again. Henrik jumped and pushed his hands away. Jamie giggled. ‘Liar! Henrik liar!’

“Oooooh! I see Henrik is telling some little lies! Or Lügens, in your language.” Chase teased.

“Du hälst deinen Mund!” Henrik spat in German.

Chase smirked and imitated the classic bugs bunny meme while signing it for Jamie: “No”

Chase sprinted to Henrik and held up his arm. “Quick! Get his armpit!”

Jamie jumped at first, but didn’t waste a second to tickle his armpit.

Henrik hissed and quickly grew a wobbly smile. “Duböserkleiner- AAH JAHACK-!” Henrik pulled on his arm desperately as his armpit was pretty much dug into. Jamie smiled proudly as he basically struck gold.

Jamie decided to stop...he reeled backwards...breathed in dramatically...and…

ATTACKED as rapidly as he could! He was even making ‘ticki-ticki-ticki-ticki-’ noises as he tickled all over Henrik’s right side.

Finally, the dam broke right open and out came all the laughter. “JAHAHAMIHIHIHIHAHAHAHA! HEHEHEHEHE!” Henrik’s hand was let go as Henrik laughed absolutely hysterically! It would turn out that Henrik was a super wiggly person whenever he was being tickled. Like, SUPER wiggly and all over the place!

Chase had to grab onto Henrik from under the armpits, and hold onto him across his chest, as if he was about to be pulled out safely from under a truck.

“CUHUHUT IHIHIT OHOHOUT! EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Henrik ordered as he laughed. But Jamie was, and never will be, in the mood to listen to instructions. Especially if they were instructions coming from a LIAR!

“Hey Jamie! Watch this:” Chase leaned in...and blew a big raspberry onto Henrik’s neck. Henrik SCREAMED and snorted right back to back! “DAHAHAHAS IHIHIST ZU VIHIHIHIHIHIEL!” Henrik yelled, falling back into his first language.

“Really now?” Chase reacted, acting like he understood him.

“JAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHALT BIHIHIHIHITTE!” Henrik begged.

Jamie stopped tickling him for a moment and tilted his head. ‘You understand H-E-N-R-I-K?’ Jamie asked.

“No...I don’t. But I do know that ‘Halt’ is stop.” Chase told him.

Jamie gasped and snapped his fingers. He ran to the puppies, picked up his favorite, and brought it to Henrik. Jamie grabbed treats, and started placing them into Henrik’s belly button.

“OOOOooooh! You evil little genius!” Chase reacted as he grabbed Henrik’s arms and raised them up.

“No! NO! JAMIE BITTE! BITTE!” Henrik begged.

Jamie, understanding Henrik as saying ‘bite’, started making dramatic nomming expressions as he put his hands up against his own chest like a puppy.

Then, Jamie watched as the puppy ran to the belly, and hopped up onto Henrik’s belly. The puppy started sniffing for the treat, which tickled enough to make Henrik giggle already. But Henrik basically lost it the moment the dog’s tongue started absolutely covering Henrik’s tummy in doggy slobber.

“Ehehehehehew! Ihihit’s sohohoho wehehehehet!” Henrik complained in the middle of his giggles.

The puppy kept licking and nipping at the belly button to get the treat that was lodged in the buttonhole. Soon, the puppy successfully got the treat out. But what’s this? More treat smells were filling its little sniffer?

Jamie had giggled as the puppy’s head looked up to sniff the air more. The man had started hiding treats under Henrik’s side as well, to get the puppy sniffing and tickling there too. It didn’t take long for Henrik to feel a little wet nose shoving itself into his side to get to the treats.

“EEEhehehehehe! Hehehehehey! Thahahahat kihihitzehehelt, leetle hündchen!” Henrik giggled.

The puppy stopped for a moment and let out a ‘BOWWWOOOOWWW’ kind of yowl.

Jamie, Henrik and Chase all DIED at the sound. “Ahahahahaw! He’s more vocal zhan Jamie!” Henrik teased.

Jamie narrowed his eyes at him and threw him two middle fingers in response. Chase and Henrik wound up dying yet again at the reaction.

Chase then gasped. “How dare! There are children here, Jamie!” Chase reacted.

Well in response to that:

‘B-A-S-T-A-R-D!’

“BASTARD!”

Chase wounded up destroying both of the boys after THAT response. He had to teach them one way or the other to not swear! Or, you know, not give the kids any more ideas.

A couple days later, Chase’s ex-wife and kids showed up at the house and picked the dog they wanted. Funnily enough, they ended up choosing the same dog that made the “BOOWWWOOOOWW” sound a few days before! And the kids got to play with the dog for a few minutes or so to get to know the dog more.

But before the dog left…

Chase let the other puppies say their last goodbyes to the puppy. The kids insisted this be done, despite what a majority of the adults believed. The boys ended up coming up with the name ‘Marble’, due to the puppy’s multitude of colors.

Matilda soon walked up to her little puppy, and gave it a few little licks of luck and farewell. The little Marble had grown up so quickly and was now moving into a new family: a family of loving kids who would treat the dog like a king.

Farewell Marble!

[charmspoint]

Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia 

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture 

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish. 

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

[nekojitachan]

For the ask meme thing, circus au, with marriage proposals or braiding/brushing hair. (Although I am parshal to a non angsty "it's not you, it my enemies, because, well its *Neil*)

*******

Last one!

Ha, this turned out more like an actual story?

Hmm… well, the last one had braiding hair in it so….

Very brief references to violence and a tiny bit of gore (not explicit), fair warning.

*******

Andrew is content as is possible for him (or so he thinks), traveling with the Foxes’ Court circus; he has his brother and cousin with him, the others know to leave him and his alone, it’s a different city every week or so, and it’s the safest he’s been in his life.

He helps set up and tear down the tents as well as handle any customers who get out of hand, while Aaron assists Abby, the crew’s healer, and Nicky helps draw in the crowds. They each have a job they do well, have found a place in Wymack’s ragtag crew of Foxes.

And then the bleeding heart bastard had to go and hire a new animal tamer.

Neil Josten arrived with a bag strapped to his back, two large felines (a black panther and a mountain lion) and such a strong aura of danger that set Andrew’s nerves on edge at mere sight of the young man.

Nicky said it was just his hormones reacting to a major hottie and nearly got stabbed.

The majority of the Foxes were their usual idiot selves and fawned over their newest recruit, desperate to get Neil to reveal something about himself, but not Andrew. He noticed how Neil was careful to never let any real details about his past slip, how his black hair had an odd sheen to it at times, how the dark strands normally fell onto his (too attractive) face to hide his (too pretty) pale blue eyes, and how he never went without his costume’s mask when the circus was open to paying customers.

How well he treated his overgrown pets (Sir and King, what ridiculous names) and put up with a prattling, attention-starved Nicky.

There was a lot of downtime when the circus wasn’t putting on a show, so Andrew took to hanging out around Neil (normally found with his cats when not dragged off by Matt or Allison). At first Neil ignored him, but when the mountain lion (Sir) showed an interest in Andrew (surprisingly not to eat him), Neil enlisted Andrew’s help with the oversized furballs.

While he pitched in to clean their enclosures, feed them and (safely) play with them, Andrew and Neil exchanged a few simple truths – Andrew being fostered out while an infant, Neil traveling around with his mother, who taught him how to raise and train the cats, various likes and dislikes. He pondered how to get to the real truths (who the hell are you?) when there started to be little ‘accidents’ around the circus.

Accidents like rigging coming loose, one of Dan’s horses escaping its stall, Robin realizing that the safety net for the trapeze act wasn’t set up properly….

Odd how it all started after Neil joined.

Odd how Neil grew withdrawn and took to walking around at night with his cats.

Andrew ‘allowed’ his coworker his space at first; after they set up in Binghamton, he snuck out one night to follow Neil and the cats at a distance, only to watch them run between the tents where Bee read cards and Abby sold her potions. There was an odd sound similar to a choked-off cry, which made Andrew curse and burst into a run himself, visions of Neil being harmed in his head as he rounded the corner to find….

To find King mauling some stranger while Sir batted around… something that had once been attached to said stranger. Andrew gulped then scowled at Neil, who was poking around in a leather bag, and felt a return of that ‘danger’ sense when the bastard smiled at him.

He ended up helping to bury a mauled body that night.

Still, unwanted exertion aside, it helped to break the rest of the ice with Neil, who apologized while shoveling and told Andrew that it wasn’t him making Neil so standoffish, but his enemies. It seemed that he and his mother had really been on the run all those years from his powerful and abusive father, and she’d trained the cats to protect Neil.

She’d managed to kill his father a couple years ago (and died in the process), but some of his people were still after Neil – not many, but some. So he continued to run and hide, and picked them off one by one when they came after him. He’d seen the advert for the circus and, tired of running, thought why not try something new?

After that, things changed between Andrew and Neil (funny what burying a body together could do to a relationship). Andrew told Neil more about his childhood (about the abusive foster homes – not everything, but Neil was smart and figured things out after a while, especially after the ‘please’ truth), spent more time together until Sir allowed Andrew to groom him and feed him by hand.

Until Andrew dared to ask Neil ‘yes or no’ and be told ‘yes’, and discover that Neil could be as careful with him, as mindful of boundaries with him as he was with the damn cats.

The Foxes Court traveled around the country and put on show after show, and every couple months Andrew had to help bury a body (he didn’t understand why Neil didn’t let the damn furballs eat everything, and was told it wasn’t good for them – well, being up half the night burying a pile of shredded human wasn’t good for him… at least Neil made up for it during the rest of the night).

It was during their show outside of Belmonte when the Malcolms struck – the last two loyal followers of Neil’s father. Neil had gone to check on the cats one more time before bed, when Andrew heard a faint knock on the door.

It turned out to be Renee, who’d noticed something ‘odd’ while on her way back from returning something to Dan, and so she’d come to Andrew. Suspecting what that ‘odd’ was, Andrew slipped free a knife and went in search of his wayward boyfriend. Renee, who hadn’t always been the darling of the trapeze (more like the terror of the slums back when she’d been Natalie Shields), quickly followed.

The Malcolms had Neil trapped between them, right outside of the cats’ enclosure; he had managed to fend them off until then, not exactly defenseless without his cats to back him up.

Andrew and Renee were more than adequate substitutes for the furballs.

Renee, the bitch, left without helping to bury the bodies.

Neil was in a bit of a daze for the next few days as it sunk in that with the Malcolms dead, he should finally be free of pursuit from his father’s people. Andrew waited on tenterhooks to see if he’d leave the circus and settle down somewhere, and when a week passed finally worked up the nerve to do something.

He marched into the cats’ enclosure where Neil was grooming King and stood in front of his boyfriend. At first he tried to ignore Sir, who leaned against him and demanded that his ears be rubbed, but it was difficult to do that with such a large cat so he obliged while glaring at Neil and asking the gorgeous idiot to move in with him.

To share the same caravan.

Neil might have only been with the circus for about a year, but he knew what it meant when a couple officially shared the same caravan; he gaped at Andrew for several seconds before he stuttered out if Andrew was sure, if it was a joke or not – and got yanked forward.

Andrew said he was not joking, and asked ‘yes or no’. After a slight pause, Neil smiled, a truly beautiful sight to behold, and said ‘yes’ before he leaned in for a kiss, one which Andrew savored right up until they both went down beneath the weight of two overgrown, purring furballs.

*******

Ah, I had fun with these.

[medea10]

Medea’s Anime/Game Superlative of 2019

Well it’s that time of the year where I look back on the animes I’ve watched and the games I played with this outdated meme quiz from 10 years ago. But I still do it for the fun of it! As usual, it doesn’t matter what year the anime or game came out. If I messed with it this year, it counts for the honors. So if it came out two years ago (which feels like forever ago), it counts. Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2019: The Promised Neverland

Episode 1! That’s all you need to watch to officially get hooked to this series. I jumped on this title at the beginning of the year not knowing what to expect due to Aniplex and Crunchyroll whoring this particular anime months prior. But once I saw the first episode, I was immediately hooked. It shook me to my core to watch one of the most graphic scenes to come from this year. I was captivated by Emma, Norman, and Ray’s plans in order to escape their doomed fate of becoming food for creepy demons. Each episode, I was at the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. Is Gilda in cahoots with Sister Krone? Will Don learn the truth about what really happened to Connie in episode 1? Can Ray be trusted? IS NORMAN STILL ALIVE?! Come on, I’m like really far ahead in the manga. I want to see Norman and Emma together again. I’m so happy this series is getting a second season in 2020.

Favorite Main Character of 2019: Haru from My Roommate is a Cat

It was a close call this year for main characters and normally I don’t shoot for main characters. This year I will admit that I fell in love with Chika from Kaguya-sama. Plus, I still love me some Lana from Pokemon Sun/Moon! And I finally started part III of Jojo’s, so Grandpa Joestar is just the awesome OH MY GOD that I need. However, they all lose out to a cat! Yeah, just like that one year where I picked Nyanko-sensei as my favorite main character, I’m doing it again.

I know Haru can’t actually talk back to her human, but the audience can hear what she’s really saying and it’s absolutely amusing. She was funny when she thought the word “Haru” meant food. She’s so adorable when she’s playing with whatever catches her eye. She’s got quite the personality (almost tsundere even). But I gotta admire Haru too. Before she was adopted, Haru was on the street trying her best to look out for her younger siblings. Even giving them more food scraps when she would go hungry herself. After Haru was adopted by Subaru, she eventually warmed up to him as “her human”. It was a learning experience for both as Haru didn’t know how to react to having a human care for her and Subaru has never taken care of a cat before. But Haru is a loyal kitty who loves her human. Hell, she ran away from home because she feared her human collapsed somewhere. Haru’s the greatest!

Favorite Villain of 2019:

…

…Dear God, give me the strength to pull through this one.

Princess Malty “Myne, Bitch, Whore” Melromarc (The Rising of the Shield Hero)

No, this is not me insulting her. These are all her official names. Really! In many of the animes I watched this year, the villains were pretty hit-and-miss with me. I’m in the middle of watching the elven uprise with Black Clover and didn’t want to talk about that this year. Fairy Tail’s villains are just okay. And I didn’t watch Frieza this year! So let’s talk about the ONE villain who even out-trump’s the actual villain to the series.

It only took one episode for an entire fandom to turn on one single character. A single lie that figuratively speaking threw our main protagonist Naofumi under the bus, kicked him in the nuts, shanked him, robbed him, and thrown him off a cliff. Myne did so much throughout this series. She lied about being raped. She abused her power to get what she wanted. She set up someone to fail constantly. She attempted murder on her own sister (several times) just to keep her status as first in line to the throne. And she cheats so she gets her way! It was so sickening to watch this vile woman for more than just one episode. When you created a character who was so disgusting and revolting as a secondary villain, you did something right! It’s like with Shou Tucker and Father from Full Metal Alchemist. Ask any anime fan and they’ll definitely remember Tucker over Father. Myne is this anime’s Shou Tucker! And I have to give her some credit, she is now one memorable villain. And aren’t villains usually supposed to be despised? I, Naofumi, most characters in Shield Hero after episode 21, and all of the internet can come together in agreement to say, we hate Malty, Myne, Bitch, Whore.

Final insult on the matter, she’s a cunt!

Favorite Video Game Character(s) of 2019: Piers & Marnie (Pokemon: Sword and Shield)

I knew point blank that Marnie was going to be my favorite rival in this game. I knew I was going to enjoy the antics of her yell squad (a.k.a. Team Yell) too. But I never expected to meet her brother and enjoy him too. Like in more recent games, Pokemon has given your character a total of three rivals to look out for. And while Hop is just the British version of Hau and Bede is just…a fuck-face, Marnie was someone who marched to the beat of her own drum. She recognizes a powerful foe and has a level of respect for her rival. She has her own fanbase, but isn’t totally arrogant about it. Plus, she doesn’t mind helping you out and giving an extra boost in battle. Plus that smile scene is just too adorable for words. And then there’s Piers!

First of all, I just love the design of this guy. What did I say when I first laid eyes on him? It’s like if David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, and Sid Vicious threw up on a pentagram crafted from Hot Topic gear and this dude emerges! And much like his sister, he marches to the beat of his own drum. That’s why he’s the only gym leader in Galar that doesn’t use the Dynamax method. I would have been satisfied if I only got to see him once or twice in the game. But I was blessed when Piers came to my aid to take down the Marco Cosmos thugs AND take on all the rogue Dynamax pokemon in the post-game. I’m impressed! Out of all the people they picked to help the protagonist and Hop in this adventure, it was Piers. I am ever so happy by this. I am so heavily invested in this guy that I’m already thinking of fic ideas involving him.

Favorite Game of 2019: Pokemon Masters

As much as I really do love Pokemon Sword and Shield, I gotta give it to the mobile game this year. This game not only made one of my reoccurring dreams come true, but gave it something no other Pokemon game has been able to do in over twenty years. HUMAN VOICES! The trainers, they speak! AND YOU CAN CHANGE BETWEEN ENGLISH AND JAPANESE! Do you have any idea how much of a win this is for me! I know they’ll never have Tracey Sketchit in the game, but this still rocks my world. Do you know how much I love hearing Mamoru Miyano play a dickish bad guy? Do you know how badly I need to hear Daisuke Ono on a day-to-day basis? I’m a voice queen!

I know I don’t usually like to give praise to freemium games for the mobile phones, but this game is quite nice. I mean, yeah, you really do have to save up your gems in order to (hopefully) get the 5-star trainer that’s currently advertised and the urge of wanting to open up your wallet to actually purchase gems is tantalizing. Not as fucked as Fate/Grand Order, but you get my meaning. Unlike a lot of the freemium games, this one doesn’t limit you so much to play (unless you spend fake or real money in the game). You can super train all you want and not lose stamina! Plus, I like these special sync moves between trainer and pokemon. And there’s just something about seeing all of these different trainers from all these regions together and interacting with each other. Despite never seeing a lot of this in the anime, manga, or previous games.

Favorite Het Couple of 2019: Retsuko x Haida (Aggretsuko)

In one of my baby accomplishments this year, I stopped being a tight-wad and splurged on a Netflix account. Right around the same time it becomes unpopular. Hahaha! Why does this always happen to me?

Throughout the series, we’ve watched Retsuko take chances with a lot of guys including a charming polar bear, a red panda with the brain of a pot plant, and the world’s handsomest donkey. But Retsuko has friend-zoned her workmate Haida the whole time. Meanwhile, I and pretty much like 90% of the fanbase ship the fuck out of this. Rightfully so! Haida has been admiring her from afar for so long. He tries his best to be supportive of her in the office and elsewhere. He was even nice enough to run back to the office to try and help Retsuko with the last-minute paperwork thrown at her on Christmas Eve. Hell, we watched him at his best in the season two finale helping to corner Tadano. And even though she turned him down at the end of season one, I still hold out that there’s hope. I mean, it was right after a break-up, so it was kind of the right call for Retsuko to not go out with Haida. Season three could give us this ship in the end. I know Retsuko doesn’t see Haida as boyfriend material as of now, but I have a feeling it can change.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2019: Atsuko “Akko” Kagari x Amanda O’Neill (Little Witch Academia)

That’s right, Akko and Amanda. This is the one Yuri ship I’m leaning on more than all the other ones. I know she wasn’t involved in the infamous love-bee episode, but that still didn’t stop me from making dirty jokes whenever these two girls were together for an episode. And that’s what makes it better! Akko and Amanda’s relationship wasn’t tampered with because of a love bee, what they have is real! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But whenever I see them together doing something in an episode, I can totally see them as something more. Then again, my mind is warped.

Besides, this is as close to a yuri couple as I got this year. I can’t mention the one second we got of Ymir x Historia from Attack on Titan. Yayoi and Shion didn’t get much in Psycho Pass 3. And it’s leaps and bounds better than that OTHER anime I watched with two girls. Happy Sugar Life? More like a big pile of nope!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2019: Mafuyu Satou x Ritsuka Uenoyama (Given)

You knew it was coming! I was rooting for these two boys since they met in episode one. And even though I had to hold it back a bit when I learned of Mafuyu’s grieving, I still hoped that one day, these two boys would defy the odds and become the sweetest couple of 2019. Was I correct? While it wasn’t as full-blown gay as Yuri on Ice, it still gave us so much.

As I mentioned, Mafuyu was in a relationship prior to meeting Uenoyama. And this one ended in heartbreak as Mafuyu’s lover dies. But meeting Uenoyama, Mafuyu was able to smile again and got to play the instrument his previous lover left behind. Mafuyu was able to shake off the sad shackles of the past and start life anew. Now is this feeling mutual? Of course! Uenoyama dealt with the worry of “will he, won’t he” and by the end of the series, the audience seems pretty satisfied with the outcome and hope for the best of these sweet boys.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect To Get Into: Domestic Girlfriend

2019 has given me surprise amounts of incest! This year alone I wound up watching several surprise incest anime plots including Kiss x Sis, Marmalade Boy, and Eromanga Sensei. And those of you who are not on the up-take, surprise incest is primarily a love plot involving your step-sibling. But there was just something about Domestic Girlfriend that I just couldn’t shake. I couldn’t believe I binge-watched this entire series. I couldn’t believe I picked up the manga immediately after the finale. I couldn’t believe…that I didn’t despise this anime! Yeah, usually anything with even a whiff of incest, I throw in the trash and put a bullet through its head. This one, I did not.

Simple story! Boy named Natsuo fucks a random girl and also has a crush on his teacher. Natsuo’s father tells him he’s getting remarried. Then, BIG BOMBSHELL, the random girl that got fucked and his teacher are now going to be his step-sisters. Concept alone was just fifty shades of messed up. I mean, who the heck do you root for in this situation? Throughout the 12 episodes I went back and forth either rooting for Rui or Hina. And for episode, I rooted for Miu, the cute literary girl. I was so intrigued that I had to dig through the manga for more answers. But I enjoyed this trashy soap opera! I doubt it’ll get a sequel, but it was…fun for the most part. Too hot for television fun! And if that makes me trash, well call me Forky because...

Yeah, I can admit that freely now.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Fruits Basket

*squeals* I never thought this would come back into my life. One of my all-time favorite animes was returning with a reboot. AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! Oh sure, the first half of this series was literally a shot-for-shot remake of the original Studio Deen anime. But even that was enough to make me love every frame of it. Fruits Basket was just one of those animes that grabs you with the intriguing tale of a cursed family that changes into members of the zodiac. Then they take you on a fun ride with silly moments like Kyo and Yuki fighting each other or Ayame telling his ridiculous stories or Hatsuharu flashing some guy his junk. But then this series takes you on a detour of the most heart-wrenching stories involving heartbreak, bullying, gangs, abandonment, and hiding your true self.

This show re-introduced us to the many colorful and complex characters that exist. From the ultra-flaymboyant Ayame to the complex Ritsu! Many of these characters have severe baggage coming and going and you just wish the best for them. And seeing Tohru reach out to just about everyone in her own way, to tell them she’s there for them and she accepts them all for who they are, it just gets to you. 18 years was too long to keep this gem away from us. Welcome back Fruits Basket, we missed you.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Zombieland Saga

I know it came out last year, but I got the opportunity to finally watch it this year. And it was every bit of crazy as people told me it would be. Who would have thought mashing zombies and idol shows together would be a good idea?

Seriously! You’ve got Mamoru Miyano voicing the craziest character to date, who’s a necromancer who brings back seven girls from the dead. Puts special makeup on them to fool unsuspecting audience members! All to bring life back to the Saga prefecture. Add another layer to the WTF cake, these dead girls are all from different times including 2008, 1997, the showa period in the 1980’s…you even have one from the freakin’ 19th century! But that’s not all! These girls end up becoming an idol group singing different kinds of genres. One episode they’re head-banging to metal rock and the next IT’S A FRIGGIN’ 8 MILE RAP-BATTLE! And then you have this one girl named Yamada Tae. She doesn’t speak and usually makes weird noises throughout the entire series, but we don’t care! We freakin’ love her! And even with the oddball girl, she’s not the craziest character on here. Who needs a Best Girl category when you know the best girl is just going to be the crazy dude in the shades!

I’m absolutely cereal on this! Kotaro Tatsumi STOLE this show for his own! With his crazy antics, constant shouting random phrases every five seconds, and eccentric behavior, this made for one of the most entertaining animes I’ve ever watched.

Last Fandom of 2019: Pokemon: Sun & Moon/2019

I know I spent the greater part of Sun/Moon bashing several aspects of the series. But Sun/Moon was gradually getting better compared to its slow start. This year we’ve got some extreme character growth from some of Ash’s friends and even pokemon. I was amazed to watch episodes featuring Lana, Mallow, and even Sophocles growing. Lana up against Kyogre, Mallow’s thank you to her deceased mother, and Sophocles mastering Z-moves, all of these were great! Add to that, a Pokemon League that showed all of us up after 20 years of disbelief of Ash ever winning a competition. Where HE WON THE FUCKING COMPETITION! With the exception of one of the matches, this Pokemon League is definitely one for the history books for Ash. From his epic dog fight with Gladion, to the six-on-six with his mentor, to taking down a massive Ultra Beast, to taking on an island deity! All leading up to one of the most beautiful goodbyes and finale! Seriously, I screamed balls when I saw a pregnant Professor Burnet.

And my high continues with the new continuation of Pokemon 2019 (yeah, still the name). First of all, praise Arceus the animation has improved! Secondly, I am fully digging Ash and Gou traveling together. In answer to your question, yes I’m already shipping the hell out of them. Third, having these boys travel all around the pokemon world has given me so much hope in the world. The boys are going to be traveling the pokemon world revisitng old places including Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Kalos. I know I was disappointed in Ash not soley traveling to Galar and having Pikachu wear a Sherlock Holmes hat, but this I can’t cast to the side.

…

And yes, I support Ash x Gou like a beast!

[emile-hides]

YouWatch

This is a conversation topic that came up playing Overwatch last night; What if the Overwatch cast all has YouTube channels?

And while we voiced our opinions and debated to eachother, I feel the need to share all of my own takes as well.

Now, there’s 32 of these assholes so I’ll put it under the cut. Cause it’s long

Ana

Her channel is called “Grandma reacts”

Her viewers send her videos or shows to react to

She likes to have Jack, Gabe, Rein, and Torb on sometimes for some of the funnier videos

Hates daredevil compilations of people on high places with no safety gear

She swears at jump scares

Ashe

Daily vlogs

She calls her viewers part of the gang

BOB is the camera man and the crowd favorite

She mostly just likes to chat about nothing while wandering around the hide out

BOB makes really cool time lapses of them riding her bike down Route 66

Baptiste

Runs an advice channel

Mostly does Q&A live streams 

All of his ad revenue goes to local charities and hospitals

People sometimes donate to him and that also goes to charity

There’s a very slim chance he got overnight famous because he’s so pretty

Bastion

One 12 minute video of him playing with Ganymede in Torbjorn’s backyard

Torbjorn recorded it for him

Brigitte

Tried to do a make-up channel

Eventually devolved into a “How to” builder’s channel

Can put together an Ikea bookshelf in 15 minutes without even glancing at the instructions

Ikea furniture speed runs are her most popular videos

D.Va

Canonically already has a gaming channel

Also has a daily vlog channel where she hangs out with Lucio and Junkrat a lot

Takes requests on what games she plays

Despite mainly being an online PvP gamer, she adores playing story games and voice acting

She cried on live stream when she finished Undertale

Doomfist

Runs Talon’s official YouTube channel

All the videos are join Talon adds

Echo

Her channel is a mash

Will play or do any kind of video that’s popular at the moment

There’s three episodes of a Minecraft LP left to die

Seven vlogs all recorded almost 3 months apart

Two animations she made herself

A couple of reaction videos

And a Pachimari unboxing

She has a lot of sponsors

Genji

Also, canonically, has a gaming channel

Sometimes does videos of sick ninja tricks in his backyard

Has the same channel from before his fight with Hanzo, so there’s a 4-5 year gap between two videos

“So my brother tried to kill me” is the first video he makes when he finally comes back

Occasionally makes “Master reacts to (anime)” videos with Zenyatta

Hanzo

The show off channel

It’s mostly just target practice with his bow and arrow Genji recorded for him

90% of his comments are telling him to put a shirt on and cover the nipple

His channel also went dead after he killed Genji

Might start recording and uploaded unscheduled vlogs during his hobo days

Also does movie reviews

Junkrat

If I may defer your attention to this post

Yeah he just runs a demolition channel

Roadhog makes sure the camera doesn’t get damaged

Junkrat really loves the slow motion effect 

Lucio

Like Hana, he has two channels

One is his official music channel with music videos and concert clips

The other is also a vlog channel where he hangs out with Hana and Jamie

He’ll also talk about serious issues and his opinions on them on his second channel

McCree

Much like Hanzo, runs a show off channel

His is more popular because he’s straight up a cowboy though

People think it’s a gimmick for the channel. They have no idea he looks and sounds like that all the time

Mei

Has a scientific fact of the day Podcast with Winston

Talks about big issues

Her channel is very kid friendly and she explains things like global warming in a way they can understand

A lot of her videos will be watched by kids in science class

Mercy

“What to do encase of an emergency” tutorial videos

Gives basic medical training, like how to do CPR

Her videos are short and to the point so they can be played in an actual emergency

Genji is usually the person she uses as an example

Moira

Her channel is like Junkrat’s but more contained(?)

She does dangerous shit with chemicals but somehow it always ends wholesomly

The last minute of the video she speaks in a soothing Bob Ross voice as the lab is on fire behind her

The videos typically end with Angella coming back from her break

Orisa

It’s technically Efi’s channel

It’s a vlog to record Orisa’s progress tword becoming Numbani’s protector

Very popular, everyone loves how wholesome Orisa is

The money from the ads goes to fixing whatever Orisa breaks while trying to be helpful

All rude comments are deleted

Pharah

Show off channel

“99 dunks in a row” and such types of videos

They’re typically sped up with relaxing music

Lucio has appeared to play soccer with her a few times

Reaper

As Gabriel Reyes he ran a prank channel around the Overwatch base

He didn’t do any pranks that hurt or scared people though

Just recorded himself eating vanilla pudding out of a mayo jar to get people’s reactions

His favorite people to prank were Jesse and Genji because they had the most over the top reactions

Reinhardt is unprankable

The channel died with the fall of Overwatch

Reinhardt

Advice channel but louder than Baptiste

He’s full of energy in every one of his videos

Calls himself his viewer’s Grandpa

If anyone comes to him for advice on how to handle abuse of any kind he will adopt them on the spot

Also does meme reactions, sometimes has to have Brigitte explain what makes it funny

Has one video where he speaks quietly called “Grandpa reads a bedtime story” and it’s literally just him reading a bedtime story with soft music in the background

Roadhog

Toy unboxings

All of his videos are silent aside from the cute music he puts of them

The only part of him that’s ever on camera are his hands

Sigma

All his videos devolve into rambles about the universe

Other than that his channel doesn’t have a real theme

He tries to explain scientific principals but quickly turns into a shouting mess about the universe and gravity

Moira is the one to stop recording in the middle of his breakdowns

Soldier 76

Use to run a tutorial channel

Gabe called it “Dad Teaches you” and Jack hates that he’s not your father

He teaches you to cook basic meals and do simple repairs on a car

He talks in a very fatherly voice

Begrudgingly, he became his veiwers father

His channel died with Overwatch as well

Sombra

Gaming channel, but hacked

Does glitched speedruns on live stream

Clickbait thumbnails and titles

“How to get 1,000,000,000 free V-Bucks in Fortnite”

Steals kid’s Fortnite accounts

Symmetra

Stim channel

All of her videos focus on satisfying visuals

Someone asked her to do ASMR once and she hated it. The video existed for less than 24 hours

Torbjorn

Like Brigitte, runs a builder channel

It also doubles as a story time channel as he tends to ramble about the good old days

All his videos are 30+ minutes long

Somehow adds “and that’s how I lost my eye” to every story so no one knows how it actually happened

Bastion guest appears in a lot or Torb’s videos but only because he’s bored and wants attention

Tracer

Animated story telling

Makes animations of their missions and her day-to-day life

Thanks to her chronal accelerator animations take half as long

Still only uploads like two videos a month

Widowmaker

Food review videos

Hates everything, nothing gets high marks

Gets view ship cause she’s hot and very snarky

Winston

His channel is exactly like Mei’s

It’s more popular though because he’s a monkey and thus draws kid’s attention better

All of his viewers are elementary school science teachers and their class

Wrecking Ball

Tried to do a builder channel but all the comments were on how cute he is

Hates being called cute so he made his mech say swear words

He’s very popular with little boys

Also loves destruction and may destroy things for fun

“5000lbs wrecking ball VS Junkrat’s house”

Zarya

Vlogs but like... Work out vlogs.

It’s just time lapses of her at the gym

Insanely popular with lesbians for very obvious reasons

Encourages her viewers to take care of themselves and start slow

Blew a kiss at the camera once, became the most used image of her on the internet

Zenyatta

Most of his videos are relaxing music over beautiful visuals he recorded

The other half of his videos are meditation leadings and yoga

He’s also done videos on the omnic crisis and talked in length on his belief for the future

Has one video of him pranking Genji

[subtextread]

My mama, and I, are so set in our ways. My mom can’t help but say triggering things - I perhaps can’t help by being triggered by maybe mundane things. It’s work (Work™) not Reacting, and I’m working very hard at it because we are in a scary pandemic and my dad already died this year.

But after washing dishes and saying a goodbye which felt loaded for me and probably/hopefully just flew over her head, I think it was natural to find myself thinking about my dad. My dad had such little access to me - even when circumstances changed and I grew up. He was just grateful to spend time with me and see me. There were times he wanted influence over my life, what parent doesn’t, but it wasn’t the entirety or even a majority of our relationship. I don’t say this as a critique of my mama - she and her side of the family had to do the raising and all the actual work of caregiving, so it’s natural that she also wants a heavy hand in transforming me into what she thinks is right. I’m just saying that there was a balance there. Maybe in safe, well-adjusted families that balance exists with both parents as a unit. With mine it was polarized between them. All that to say, I felt that balance palpably growing up and I wonder if I ever conveyed outwardly to my dad or even to myself in recognition that I appreciated the unconditional nature of his love.

The one year anniversary of my father’s death is in about three weeks. It feels like it was just yesterday. I was writing on tumblr the day it happened because pen to paper was too hard (it’s still kind of hard).

I have hit many roadblocks with processing his death. No death of this magnitude can be easy, but the isolation is unbearable. I will never be able to see my father’s final resting place. When I think of him, there is so little tangible to hold or places to go.

After seeing my mom I ended up driving to the last place he lived when he was here. It was hard. Trying to hold vigil, trying to manifest ritual in these circumstances feels like grasping at vapor, at punishing myself and trying to discipline out memories of places and images that must be somewhere in my mind. It’s also hard because my father lived a life of such transience. His last home in the city was an affordable housing unit, but it’s in a glitzy part of Old Town in Chicago with super commercial streets all around. The building is gated and secured because it is, by its nature, a place people try to access for sanctuary. I was only there for a few minutes. It didn’t feel right to be there, seeing its gentle and cheery Christmas-light bedecked lobby several feet behind the fence while people in need of sanctuary waited outside.

I remember my dad’s unit. If any of you have read the screenplay to Brokeback Mountain, when Alma Jr, Ennis’s daughter, comes to visit him at the end of the book, she’s saddened by the utilitarian nature of his dwellings. That’s how my dad lived too. Is it how all divorced, working class dads with adult daughters live? He had his inflatable mattress on the ground, a hearty and healthily stocked fridge, a TV that only kind of worked, a dial radio, a small closet of pretty chic dad clothes and fancy leather shoes, a lot of magazines and library books. That was it.

I drove around Old Town a little. I could see him walking around there. I could see where he’d post his mail and where he’d board the red line, and where he’d go get groceries.

I went to our old apartment. It was the apartment I was born in, and where my father probably last lived a full 20 years ago. When my parents were together, our family occupied several of the units in the building. This apartment was the backdrop of all of my baby videos and photos. After my parent’s divorced, my dad stayed there still. It was super shitty, to be honest, and at the time, mice-infested haha, but I didn’t know any better. It was home. Its crappiness kind of made it a place of some level of abandon. Once it was just my dad (but even before then), he - and I guess the whole family - had given up on me not drawing on the walls so at some point everything under three feet was just Scribbles, for example.

During that period where it was just my dad in that apartment, I remember a few things - my dad had hung up his target practice headshot sheets (from... work? he was a security guard) on the walls, lol #art. He once made a makeshift swing which hurt my butt and broke a lot but was fun anyway.

One time - ha - I found a tube of bright pink lipstick in the bathroom and subsequently used it to adorn the scribbly walls with a pop of color. I distinctly remember as a kid being like this is weird, but okay. And now, as an adult, I wish I had a camera on me when the implications of my lone, always alone, dad having a random singular tube of hot pink lipstick in his bathroom dawned on me l o l. I was driving down the highway to my childhood home and after being the lady calculating numbers meme for a hot second started cackling hysterically Through The Tears™. My father was just a person, after all. We are all just people. Full, complete, independent people with lives that are always somewhat secret from our loved ones.

I got to our old apartment and there are these two big rocks that have just been there decoratively on this Chicago corner for 30 years at this point. One of them used to be a white/light gray, smooth stone and the other one was a rugged rock with one fully geode encrusted face. I distinctly remember being little enough to climb on them (the white one was slippery, the geode one had purchase making it easy to climb). They’re still there, although now I could literally just climb from one to the other like they were steps on a set of stairs lmao, and the white one has been darkened thanks to city grime ✨. That was the strongest memory of this particular vantage point of our home that I have. All other memories are from the window looking outward, like waiting for my dad’s taxi (like all immigrant south asian dads, mine too was a taxi driver at one point) while listening to the sounds of traffic on wet pavement after the rain.

I texted my brother to ask if he remembered which floor we lived on. He said “wow, weird”. He had just had a dream of our apartment last night. My brother is currently about a half a day ahead of me time-wise, so I think he was both very surprised by our connected subconscious and also perhaps a little concerned that I was visiting no longer familiar neighborhoods at 1 in the morning. But my brother is gentle about this. He didn’t have much of a relationship with my father, his stepfather. He was the first person I called when I was told of his death and he soothed me in all the perfect ways as I drove the 15 minutes it took to get to my mom’s from work. He told me I had been a good daughter, that my father had loved me with the entirety of his being and had lived solely for me, and that I had made him proud and that he had known I had loved him. I wept and wept apologizing that he had to comfort me over someone he had a difficult relationship with, over a stepfather who hadn’t treated him the best, and I could hear him shrug over the phone. He said my father had been a simple man who was constrained by a difficult life and that he had not any ill will towards him. May God protect my brother always, inshAllah.

It’s funny attempting to create ritual, chasing some sort of catharsis or relief in places that felt loaded with meaning, but on physical approach, are devoid of it. My father’s most recent place does not hold his spirit, my birthplace apartment is now occupied by another family and probably furnished up to code. I arrived back to my place having had a stilted cry, a period of smug laughter, a nice conversation with my brother, and now a headache. I’m still stuck in some ways. I’m still figuring out how to process a grief that has elusive, elusive memories attached to it and nothing physical to represent it. But I tried, and my earlier hurt from my mom doesn’t feel all that present anymore. We will keep on trying.

[bestworstcase]

bro can you just do like the entire ever on meme, I could read your headcanons and commentary all day (but for real, your takes are super interesting!)

a n o n. bsdhfsdh

How many kids do you want Rapunzel and Eugene to have?

in all honesty i Literally could not care less. maybe twins as a nod to the original fairytale, but like, a good ten years into the future. rapunzel deserves a nice long stint of just Living Her Best Life before she even thinks about having kids

Where do you want or see Cass going?

answered here. also, self indulgently, in my head at some point she ends up in antares, which is a city-state near the dark kingdom which i developed for bitter snow. it’s big and old and crowded and given that it’s built on top of a bunch of huge black rocks we’re going to just... ignore what happened to the black rocks in canon when the sundrop and moonstone fused, k?

What are some of Queen Rapunzel’s new policies?

blah! i like to think she would also institute widespread public schooling, because she’s so curious and so many of her skills are self taught out of passion and personal interest and i think she would want to inculcate those values in the children of her subjects. coronan literacy skyrockets under her reign

What will Varian think of next?

i think it’s sort of funny to take varian at his word when he calls himself an alchemist and assume he is, in fact, in a perpetual state of trying to make a philosopher’s stone. 

How many partners will Cass have, if any at all?

i mean look at her she could have her pick of any gay woman on the continent. um. in bitter snow she dates or has flings with 2... people, maybe 3 depending on how exactly we define “dates.”

What will Captain do now?

he will grow an ever more glorious beard. also this.

How will Hector, Adira, and Edmund live in the Dark Kingdom again?

they’re going to have a very welcoming immigration policy otherwise dark kingdom 2: electric boogaloo is not going to last for very long, now is it.

i think adira will spend a lot of time being the voice of reason considering that edmund lived in total isolation for twenty-five years and went a bit funny while hector lived in total isolation for twenty-five years and turned into a feral tree man and then got possessed. i also think the dark kingdom will be instrumental in the development of fantasy-telegraphs, because they do after all have a pretty pressing reason to do so

How are Stalyan and Brock doing?

stalyan met brock in, like, a dive bar somewhere and went oh my god you have to come to corona with me and pretend to be my date it’ll be so fucking funny so that’s what they did. anyway caine happened to be out on parole at the time and they bumped into each other and stalyan was like 👀 and caine was like 👀 and they’re pirate queens now. stalyan and brock are still bros.

How are the Stabbingtons doing?

they’re like three months away from getting out for good behavior. eugene is so proud.

How many times will Andrew keep trying to escape?

He Will Never Stop

How will Vex and Quaid rebuild Vardaros?

i mean we’re all basically agreed that quaid is an expy of sam vimes, right? right? which is to say they’re going to drag vardaros kicking and screaming out of the hole its in through sheer raw stubbornness and innate sense of justice and fair play. also at some point quaid is going to arrest a dragon, probably

How will the Baron react to Stalyan dating Brock?

you think stalyan is still in contact with her shitty dad? HA! it is to laugh

How are Hookfoot and Seraphina doing?

seraphina did several months of community service due to her sentence being considerably lightened after her willing return of the stolen pearl and she has since gotten her life in order and is doing a tour of the coastline with hookfoot while she tries to figure out what she wants to do with her life instead. possibly she will become a singer, since she is, as you’ll recall, immensely talented in this department.

How will the Pub Thugs react to reuniting with the Hook Brothers again?

all i know is big nose is going to ask seraphina if she has any mermaid friends she could set him up with and she is going to give him the most withering look on the planet and he’s going to write bad, sad poetry about it for at least a week. also there will be a dance party

Will Varian talk to Quirin about his mother?

my headcanon is that varian is old enough to remember his mother, and that she died when he was perhaps eight or nine. i think after the series quirin would understand that shutting down and refusing to talk about things with varian doesn’t help either of them so they will be able to have normal conversations about her sometimes.

Will Varian have his own adventure?

in all honesty i don’t think about post-series varian all that much outside of the canonical royal engineer thing so instead i’m going to talk about bitter snow varian and say that: yes, he gets a hell of a lot more adventure than he ever bargained for. 

Does Varian have a room in the Castle now? Or does he stay in Old Corona?

i mean he’s like sixteen i assume he’s still living with his dad for at least a couple more years. he’s more urban than quirin is so when he comes of age i think he’ll eventually get himself a nice little flat in corona somewhere. 

Will Faith stay as Rapunzel’s lady-in-waiting? If so, will they be close friends?

i think in once a handmaiden faith booked herself passage on the next carriage to koto and is living her best life there. it’s what she deserves

Will Nigel ever reunite with a dragon again?

[gets on my soapbox] nigel’s story is a cautionary tale about the perils of taking wild animals out of the wild and attempting to keep them as pets and having seen firsthand the dangers of doing so nigel is never going to make the same mistake again. however, he learns to appreciate them as they are, in their natural habitat, living as they please, and will one day found a dragonspotting club. [/gets off my soapbox]

Will Eugene ever talk to Edmund about his mother?

yes and edmund will tell eugene like nine million stories about her and show him the letters she wrote for their son on her deathbed and eugene will realize that he actually has more in common, personality-wise, with his mom than his dad and will end up feeling very close to her even though he never got the chance to know her. 

Is Lance still smitten over Adira?

nah not really, though he still admires her very much and i think they end up having a decent friendship. they’re foodie buddies and whenever she passes through corona she teaches the girls survival skills or practices fighting techniques with them.

Did Max and Pascal rescue the wedding cake?

probably

Will Varian and Cassandra keep in touch?

i think she’ll keep in touch with him as much as she keeps in touch with any of team corona, really. they’re friends but not especially close, yknow?

Who will Cass run into on her adventures?

like i said in one of the other asks i think she passes through ingvarr at some point and maybe bumps into the princesses there. i definitely think she encounters caine and stalyan at least a couple times in contexts that range from adversarial to reluctant allies. the idea of her passing through vardaros and helping quaid and vex out with some mystery is kind of fun. 

Will Cass become a famous adventurer or live elusively?

cass is going to fall into the sam vimes camp of her reputation preceding her completely by accident

Who will be at Rapunzel and Eugene’s child(ren)’s christening(s)?

i assume, like, all the important people. fred and arianna and edmund, lance, varian, cass if she’s around. plus they’re royalty so like, a lot of noble types and diplomats and whatnot. 

What will Rapunzel and Eugene name their children?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Who from their adventures will Rapunzel and Eugene visit? The Lorbs? Calliope? King Trevor? Vex and Quaid?

i think there will be occasional trips to the dark kingdom via hot air balloon and they’ll probably check in on vardaros from time to time. can’t see them visiting calliope unless they absolutely have to. diplomatic visits with equis are... probably unavoidable, but filled with Regret. i think the lorbs would probably be happier if the crazy fleinfloofers didn’t keep coming back to the island to trigger horb the lorb’s various failed magical cures for depression, all things considered.

Will Rapunzel make amends with Lady Caine? Will she pardon her father and let him reunite with Lady Caine?

i think caine’s dad is dead. and i think rapunzel would try to make amends, but caine is in the category of... things can’t always be made better? her father was taken from her in a horribly traumatizing way and then in all likelihood either executed (remember that corona canonically hangs thieves) or died on a prison barge years ago, and there’s nothing rapunzel can realistically do to make that better. sometimes an apology isn’t enough, you know? i think she could provide caine with some closure by helping her find out exactly what happened to him, but caine would never harbor any positive feelings for corona or for rapunzel.

Will Cassandra settle in Corona, abroad, or remain indefinitely itinerant?

i think she’ll eventually settle down but i also see her as developing a real love for travel and continuing to do it frequently even after she finds her home base, so to speak. i also tend to lean on the side of she comes back to corona to visit but doesn’t have enough positive connections to the place to ever feel completely at home there. 

Will Madame Canardist ever learn of Vigor’s origins?

madame canardist is a racist romani caricature and i don’t like thinking about her if i can possibly help it. it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

Will Varian rebuild any of Demanitus’ work?

dunno, maybe? varian is a demanitus fanboy for sure and if he encountered a demanitus blueprint for a machine that he could put to good use i think he’d absolutely build it at the first opportunity. i can see him rebuilding the weather device just in case zhan tiri’s blizzard were to reoccur, for example. but also, a lot of demanitus’s inventions were pretty dangerous (see: the portal to the lost realm, the body-switching ray) and varian as of season three has learned his lesson about doing Reckless Science so i think he would approach with a certain amount of caution.

Will Cass be nervous when meeting her New Dream nieces and nephews?

...a bit? maybe? i guess? prior to this i spent literally 0 braincells thinking about new dream children so i dunno. i’m not a kid person and i rarely if ever speculate about non-canonical children of fictional couples. she’d be the fun adventuring family friend i suppose.

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 01x06

Skin

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

So we start out with Sam and Dean talking about Sam’s attempts at maintaining contact with his college friends.

Dean: So you lie to them? Sam: No, I just don’t tell them everything Dean: Yeah, that’s called lying.

Interesting … considering how Dean reacts to being lied to in later seasons, it is interesting to note that he kind of has this black and white view of it while Sam is more comfortable telling people what they are comfortable hearing (look back at 01x01 and their different reactions to their dad letting them know about monsters at a very early age) Dean doesn’t like half-truths, even for other’s protections. (Not that he never lies throughout the series, this is another good idea for analysis)

Sam: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? You’re serious? Dean: Look it sucks but, a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

This episode we get to see more of Sam’s focus on people he cares about.

Did Sam really just ask his friend Becky to make them sandwiches?? Wow. (I know that this was to get her out of the room, but this was before “make me a sandwich” became such a big meme. It’s extra funny that they do it again in season 15 (When Deans asks the woman to leave so he can confront the Djinn) but they’re much more self-aware about it)

Dean: “One thing I learned from Dad, not matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there is one sure way to kill it”

Sam: “silver bullet to the heart”

So they have dealt with Shapeshifters before, or at least Dean has. But maybe it was a different kind? One that didn’t shed the way this one does?

 Dean: I hate to say it, but this is exactly what I’m talking about. You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. 

(file under – the queer coding of Sam Winchester)

Ok, I don’t know how much we can rely on the Shifter’s words about how Dean feels but, assuming we can;

Shifter!Dean: You got to go to college … I had to stay home with Dad, you don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me, where the hell where you? … deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends; you could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak, and sooner or later everybody’s gonna leave me.  … You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me too and he left me too. No explanation, nothing just – left me with your sorry ass.

 So, this tells us that Dean did have dreams of his own, that he’s thought about a life away from hunting (contrary to what he tells Lilith in Season 15). It’s also interesting because we usually see the word “freak” applied to Sam, when he realizes he’s psychic, when he gets addicted to demon blood, later when he is defending Jack. But here we see that Dean feels like a freak in his own way. He knows that he can never have a normal life, never be seen as normal by other people, so he doesn’t even try. Sam tries to have friends, tries to give them the portions of himself that they can handle, but Dean knows nobody in the normal world will be able to understand him – how he grew up, what he’s been through – so he doesn’t let anyone get too close.

In 15x07 we learn that Dean did have friends in his 20’s. Hunter friends, but still friends. He hunted with Lee while Sam was in college. So why do we never hear about him? Why doesn’t Dean call him up sometimes, or fondly remember him? (well, realistically because the writers didn’t invent Lee until they wrote season 15) But, there’s a canon reason too. Dean mentions that he thought Lee had died by the time he sees him in 2020. He obviously cared about Lee, enjoyed spending time with him, but he didn’t make the effort to stay in contact, to find out if his friend had lived or died, most likely because he was afraid of losing him. It’s easier to walk away from people than have them walk away from you. In this episode (1x06) we see Dean chooses to stay disconnected from people around him.

Sam needs people, so he adjusts himself to their expectations and their comfort, but Dean would rather have no connection than a partial one, or one that will inevitably end in hurt.

“you mean like a Vulcan mind meld?” (Ok, so Dean canonically watched Star Trek, at least enough to immediately think of this reference. good to know. For reasons) “maybe he needs to keep us alive, for the psychic connection” (Ok, maybe never mind about the shapeshifter in season 13, I don’t know if she would be able to get the thoughts of the deceased loved ones. )

 “maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else.”

Ok, so this line is said by the shifter, as Dean, about the shifter, but I want to talk about how it applies to Sam. Sam Winchester is born human, but he has demon blood. We learn in season 8 that, although he didn’t know about the demon blood or about his psychic abilities until his 20’s, as a child he felt that he was “not clean.” Not only is raised to fight and kill monsters, very unlike a normal kid, he also has this intrinsic sense of … wrongness. Additionally, he has never been encouraged by his father to be himself or to pursue his own interests. He likely doesn’t believe that anything about who he is  is good or worth anything. So, he learns to be something else. He goes to college and tries to leave his entire life behind him. He doesn’t open up about his real life to anyone, not even his girlfriend. He tries to adapt. Fit in, even though he doesn’t fit. Then he goes hunting with Dean, but he won’t tell Dean about his visions, he doesn’t open up to him. He dutifully plays the role of little brother, and hides anything that could cause Dean worry or pain. We see this repeat throughout the seasons, Sam adapting, tucking away parts of himself, letting go of his opinions, his views on things, letting Dean be right. The one time when he doesn’t do this is with Jack. He sees himself in Jack, a scared little boy who is so afraid of being evil, and he can’t watch what happened to him happen to somebody else. He has to step in, speak up on Jack’s behalf. He CAN’T tuck his feelings away this time, because it’s not himself on the line. He doesn’t often stand up for himself, but he will stand up for other people.

 Shifter: All alone, close to no one. All he wants is somebody to love him. He’s like me

Rebecca’s eyes: *THE F*** IS THIS GUY SERIOUS*

SAME Rebecca SAME

EUGH I forgot how gross shifting was.

Ok, well Dean is officially a wanted man. Wow, to go from a few torture/murders to attempting to assassinate the president. He really has beefed up his resume.

The Samulet!! Weird that the shifter took that from Dean and wasn’t able to replicate it … O.O That’s such a good little detail to let us know that it’s important.

Oh, so now Rebecca knows the truth about Sam.

Rebecca: “Will you call us sometime?” Sam: “It might not be for a little while.”

(and she was never heard from again … I imagine because Sam started to realize that Dean was right. It’s easier to stay away from connections. This is also probably a part of his growing guilt, and fear that anyone close to him will be hurt. It is interesting to think … now that she knows the truth and the fake version of him no longer exists in her mind, he doesn’t try to maintain the relationship?)

 DEAN: Sorry, man.

SAM: About what?

DEAN: I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be….Joe College.

SAM: No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.

DEAN: Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak.

SAM: Yeah, thanks.

DEAN: Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way. (SAM laughs.)

SAM: Yeah, I know you are.

 I know Dean means this as a playful joke, but it’s the first time we see Sam being referred to as “a freak” which will occur much more after this.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[auntiebioticslab]

I didn’t get any asks for this but that’s okay because unfortunately I am WELL capable of infodumping without anyone’s permission. so here’s the unplanned variable ask meme by @outervvorlds

read mores do not work on mobile because tumblr is garbage from a toilet and my computer is currently on a UPS truck to California. I am so sorry.

Basics! Name, age, personality, etc. What do they look like? Are they a new or old oc? 

Her name is Rocket Alexandria Hawthorne! Formerly Rachel Holloway back on Earth but I’ll get to the reason for the name change.

She’s extremely vague about her age (her go-tos are “older than you” and “over a hundred” which are both technically true due to the “being on ice” thing) but she can pass for anywhere between 30 and 50 appearance-wise and the timeline of her Earth memories pretty reliably pegs her as late 30s-early 40s.

She’s a really effortlessly confident and funny person, which is the main reason she could probably talk her way out of her own execution. Also because I have a disease that makes me project my brain shit onto every oc I have she’s prone to hyperfixating due to an Unclear But Definitely Present Brain Thing so she knows a lot of things about a lot of things. Also she’d never openly admit it but she’s a sucker for romantic things and definitely cries at weddings.

This is her:

Her mom was Pakistani and her father was Black but she usually just says she’s from Baltimore.

What are their attributes, perks, and flaws?

She’s got high charm and intelligence, average strength and temperament, and good everything else.

I got her up to level 30 my last play through, do not make me list all her perks. Most of them this go-round so far are buffs to vendor prices and boosts to movement speed.

She has weakness to both plasma and physical damage!

What do they believe in?

Religiously, she’s agnostic but she kind of likes the notion of Philosophism. Morally, she believes that there’s no reason for people to pointlessly suffer just so someone at the top can hoard money, and also that the colony would be better off if Byzantium suddenly burned to the ground.

...she did not burn Byzantium to the ground, don’t worry.

How did they react to becoming Captain of the Unreliable? Are they much of a leader?

She always kind of wanted to be a cool spacefarer, but she hoped it would be under different circumstances. She told ADA that the real Hawthorne was killed by marauders, offered the poor bastard some dignity in death.

She is a pretty effective leader but that’s because she doesn’t really see herself as one? The crew aren’t subordinate to her, they’re her friends.

What was their life like before being iced?

It was boring! She was stuck in a shitty line cook job which wasn’t terrible but also felt like a waste of her education, and she was barely scraping by anyway. That’s why she applied for the Hope initiative.

Did they have any family before becoming Captain? Do they think their crew as family? 

Obviously she had parents growing up; they werent as present as they’d have liked to be because Work but she never once felt like they didn’t care for her. They didn’t live to see their daughter off when she boarded the Hope, but that was because of natural causes.

She also had four older brothers! Darren, Brice, Gene, and Andre. She was closest to Andre because the age difference between them was only a year. He’s actually the one who gave her the nickname “Rocket” in the first place; when they were kids they would pretend to be space explorers and their pretend names were Astro and Rocket.

None of her brothers were on the Hope. Darren actually was doing pretty well for himself in a low-level government job and didn’t feel the need to leave the planet, Brice didn’t want to uproot his wife and kids, Gene, well...she still has no idea what Gene was up to when she boarded the Hope because he took a job in another country and lost contact with his siblings years prior. Andre had been dead for years, unfortunately, having died in a work accident a week before Rocket was due to graduate college.

It still nags at her that while she can at least assume all her other brothers died peacefully and surrounded by loved ones, she knows EXACTLY what horrible thing happened to Andre.

As for the current crew, ohhh yeah, they are definitely her family. She cried when Felix said “I’ve got a family” to Clyde.

What’s their fighting style? Who do they bring along?

Ironically for a timeline where Roosevelt was never president, she does practice big stick diplomacy. Well, it’s usually small stick diplomacy because she prefers one handed melee, but still. If she can avoid direct conflict (through stealth or negotiation) she prefers to. The only exception was Tartarus.

There’s no real rhyme or reason to who she has in her party because from a Me As The Player standpoint I just go with whoever gives me boosts to the stats I need for the quest I’m doing. Which, in practice, usually ends up being Parvati and Felix because of that sweet sweet Persuasion buff.

Is Spacer’s Choice their only choice? What do they think of the corporations?

She is...not a fan of the amount of power they have. Spacer’s Choice in particular has a special place in hell as far as she’s concerned. If you held a gun to her head and asked her to pick a favorite...she’d probably ask you to just shoot her. Or she’d choose Auntie Cleo’s because their jingle is the least annoying.

What do they think of the factions? Are they liked or disliked by any?

Rocket has to make an actual effort to get on someone’s bad side so she’s in pretty good standing with most of the major factions. She made an effort with the Board, though 😁

For her part, she’s especially fond of the folks on the Groundbreaker.

What’s their favourite place in Halcyon? Least favourite?

She likes the scenery on Terra 2 and the people on the Groundbreaker, but as corny as it sounds her favorite place in Halcyon is the Unreliable. It’s home to her, and it’ll stay that way forever.

She doesn’t hate Edgewater per se but being there fills her with rage because of how...indicative it is of the way the rest of the colony is being run.

Do they have a favourite alien creature?

She definitely has never done extensive research on the care and feeding of leather boas because she hyperfixated on the idea of getting one as a pet before realizing that recreating the necessary habitat conditions on the Unreliable was impossible, or at least way too expensive.

No, I’m not projecting the amount of times I have done something similar for bearded dragons.

Did they save The Hope?

FUCK yeah she did.

What do they want to do afterwards? - but do they get a happy ending?

She finally gets some use out of her degree; she’s qualified to be a food scientist, like a real actual food scientist, and that’s probably what Halcyon needs more than anything.

Considering a few other things that happen in the epilogue, she doesn’t get a perfect end. But it’s enough.

What do they think of the companions? Friendships, crushes, dislikes, etc. 

She immediately thought “now I’M the big sister” after recruiting Parvati and Felix, so there’s that. Probably accidentally called each of them by the name of one of her brothers a few times. Convincing Ellie that she actually cares about her as a person is her white whale of sorts, and she empathizes a lot with Nyoka given her own history of loss. Logically she realizes that Max is a fellow capital-A Adult but also she feels like she’s holding the leash on a feral dog whenever he’s with her. She likes to tell SAM he’s doing a good job.

How do the companion quests go?

Golden ends across the board, babey. I’ve never been one to half-ass shenanigans.

What’s their love language?

Gifts and acts of service!!! She always tries to play it cool until she’s ready to admit her feelings though, so there’s a lot of pretending she just HAPPENED to find this thing she damn near tore the planet apart looking for.

Also she especially likes to flirt by cooking. Even back on Earth she got into a fair few relationships by being like “hey neighbor, I underestimated how much this recipe makes, interested in taking some leftovers off my hands? ;)” when she knew damn well how much the recipe made and doubled it so she had an excuse to see her cute neighbor.

Are they in a relationship? Do they want to be?

She has a crush on a certain rogue scientist, and unfortunately for her it is such an intense crush that she actually gets tongue-tied around him sometimes, which isn’t something she’s used to and that stresses her out a LOT.

Damn now I want to write an immediately-post-game-but-WAY-pre-epilogue fic with the crew trying to get them together so they don’t have to listen to Rocket blasting classical music and frustratedly screaming into a pillow every time she leaves his lab.

How to win them over?

She likes to look into someone’s eyes and see a fire, you know? I mean this in both a platonic and romantic sense—if someone is downtrodden but still determined, she probably at least respects them.

Also if someone she has feelings for does some kind of tender touch thing like brushing her hair behind her ear she McDies. Just completely short circuits. Cannot handle it.

How to break their heart?

If she found out someone important to her was using her or going behind her back it would destroy her. Unwilling betrayals as a result of being under duress are one thing, but deliberate, calculated manipulation? That’s her absolute worst nightmare.

How did those cows get onto their ship??

She wanted to try making homemade cheese and didn’t trust the bottled milk to actually be from a cow after what she learned about the saltuna cannery in Edgewater.

Ok technically she just agreed to deliver the cows to a facility on Terra 2 after the actual ship carrying them had engine troubles on Groundbreaker but she liberated some of the milk while in transit. Not like they’d notice.

A song that reminds you of them,

Sucker Punch by Die Mannequin!

Three random facts about them.

She got that burn scar during her time on Earth. Be careful with hot liquids, kids.

She’s tall—like, 6’5” tall. People who don’t receive proper nourishment don’t get very tall so she towers over most of Halcyon.

After the events of Don’t Bite The Sun she went back to Stellar Bay and told Raymond “I’ll teach you my recipe for breded cystipig chops with mock applesauce if you’ll teach me how to make that casserole”. Good trade for both parties.