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love-byers · 3 months

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(warning: long)

we should talk more about mikes choice of words in the rink o mania fight, or rather the writers choice of words

"You basically sabotaged the whole day!!"

sabotage

in case you need a reminder of what sabotage means

deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct

mike is not just saying will was being a douche for moping, rolling his eyes, and barely talking. he's saying wills a douche because he's doing it on purpose. not even just on purpose either, he's saying will planned this. will wanted to ruin the day. mike thinks will was out to get him by withholding his friendship. obviously will wasn't doing any of this, he just moped because he felt brushed off by mike and was ignored (or so he thought).

that kind of behavior, thinking the consequences of his own actions are a planned attack against him, is very consistent with the way he acted in s3 when el dumped him and he blamed it on max.

we can connect this directly to mike's apology where he calls himself a self-pitying idiot. the self-pity is mike allowing himself to believe it's not his fault that his day sucked, that it's not his fault will is acting this way. deep down he knows it's his own fault by purposefully brushing will off at the airport, but he was being so self-absorbed and self-pitying that he convinced himself it wasn't.

"why is this on me?? why am i the bad guy??"

so lets go through this again, inferring from mike's own words.

when will left hawkins, he felt weird. he'd just spent the whole summer trying to be grown up and acting like he didn't care about dnd anymore, shutting will down and really hurting him in the process, so he probably feels embarrassed that he now feels the exact opposite. he enjoyed spending time with max, lucas, and dustin but it just wasn't the same without will. he missed will so badly that the fact that will was barely reaching out got to his head, and he felt too insecure to find out for himself. he didn't know if will felt the same way or if he was doing fine without mike, making lots of new friends and enjoying life. he was afraid he'd lost will. then here comes el with her letters saying how life is awesome and they have lots of friends. mike probably thought, oh now i'm DEFINITELY not telling him how i feel. the letter about will potentially liking a girl was the final straw. wow. so he's occupied with some girl and thats why he won't talk to me. so now mikes determined to not give will an inkling of an idea that he's bothered or that he cares. psh, mike could care less. maybe when will sees that mike totally doesn't care he'll feel like he screwed up and he'll be super nice to compensate and win mike back.

so mike gets to lenora and hey, will, i totally don't care about seeing you, see how i dodged your hug? i don't care. then he sees the painting. maybe it's not for someone he likes, maybe it's for me. here you go will, opportunity one to win back my affection.

"Uh, what's that?"

"Um, it's nothing, it's just this painting I've been working on."

"Cool."

operation-act like i don't care: EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FAILED.

LOOK at his face bro. he looks heartbroken.

from here on mike just got more and more annoyed. will isn't trying to win him back, he isn't compensating for the months of silence. he's acting sad. he's acting sad? he has the audacity to act sad after he made all these friends and left me behind?? no, this is not my fault, this is not on me. it gets under his skin in a way he can't ignore. those feelings of guilt and annoyance that will is causing mixed with his months worth of self pity and convincing himself he's not the problem leads him to another thought. he's doing this on purpose. he's punishing me. this was his plan all along. he's trying to ruin my day for no reason, because i clearly didn't do anything to deserve this.

then angela shows up and humiliates el and mike, for some insane reason, uses this as an excuse to express his anger to will, even though it had literally nothing to do with will.

"You should've told me she was having trouble."

"Well, I didn't know they were gonna be here, Mike."

"Yeah, but you knew she was having trouble for like a year and didn't tell me."

in WHAT world is this will's fault?? he had absolutely no idea el was lying until that day. and mike is blaming him? no, he's really not, he just wants a reason to express his anger without having to admit why he's angry.

"Well, I didn't know she was lying to you."

"Is that why you decided to be a douche to her all day?"

her. he's hiding behind el's name. psh, what? i don't care that you weren't talking to me, it's because of el.

el just got publicly humiliated and mike thinks now is the time to get on will and act like el's biggest problem was will not talking to her?? no way. he just doesn't want will to know that these are his feelings.

"I wasn't being a douche!"

this completely sets mike off. how dare will act all innocent after what he did to me all day? any part of him that was trying to hide that will's behavior is bothering him has been completely overridden. will purposefully withholding his attention from mike has pissed him off soooooo badly that he can't keep it to himself anymore or hide behind el.

"You were! You were! You were rolling your eyes, you were moping, you were barely talking you basically sabotaged the whole day!"

yup, thats right will. i know exactly what you're doing and i'm calling you out on it.

"Well she was lying to you, Mike! Straight to your face ever since you got here! And...and I've been a total third wheel all day it's been miserable. So sorry if I wasn't...if i wasn't smiling."

third wheel? really?

"Yeah, whatever man."

"Well what about us?"

"What?"

i imagine this is where mike shits himself. i mean he literally stops in his tracks. will is directly addressing what he'd been trying to hide his care for the whole time, them. all of a sudden after all these months, he cares about us? and it's poking at that weird feeling he had, like he missed will too much. like he was feeling too much.

"What, you're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say."

"That's just not true."

mike says that so fast it's like a knee-jerk reaction. of course he cares what will has to say. all he's wanted all day, and all this time for that matter, was for will to talk to him. and will is blaming him?

"You called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile El has like a book of letters from you."

now mike's defense is kicking in. he feels like will is directly picking at that feeling. the weirdness. the fact that he feels differently for will than the rest of his friends, even his girlfriend.

"That's because she's my girlfriend, Will!"

"And us?"

now the alarms are going off. he knows something. "us" for will in this moment is just their friendship. "us" for mike is something more, because that's what's been brewing in him the whole time they've been apart. internalized homophobia in 3..2..

"We're friends! We're. Friends."

"Well, we used to be best friends!"

oh. he was just talking about our friendship. i was tweaking a little bit. and...ouch. will just officially said they aren't best friends anymore. and he's blaming it on mike. but mikes defenses are still up high.

"Well...well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know! But why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?!"

then will is lost for words, and he just look sad. and as mad as mike is, he hates seeing will that way.

i imagine the day or two between this and his apology, mike went over this fight in his mind multiple times. and the more he thought about it, the more he realizes, ah shit. i was way too in my head and this was completely one sided. will wasn't plotting against me, i just felt so bad for myself i convinced myself i did nothing wrong. all this because i thought he found new friends and i felt bad for myself. and now i've lost my best friend and made him feel like all of it is his fault. i have to let him know it's all on me.

tldr: mike is weird and gay.

#stranger things #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #byler endgame #byler analysis #stranger things 4

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cxrdycxps · 2 months

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God’s Favorite/Devil’s Choice • Ellie Williams

☢️ religious trauma • child abuse (emotional and physical • mental illness • physical illness • emotional trauma • death ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

“Momma?” You asked quietly, watching out the window at the back yard. The winter had hit Jackson hard which left the entirety of the town covered in snow and frost. It looked like someone had forgotten to draw in the details of real life.

“Yes, Baby?” Your mother hummed from her spot in the living room, feet up on the coffee table and book in her hand.

You looked down at the water your hands were in and the dishes you had just washed from dinner. You weren’t sure if you should ask but the question was eating you up inside. “Was all that really true?”

“All what, Baby?” Your mother asked. You released the water from the sink and clambered down from the chair you stood on carefully. You returned the chair to the dining table and moved slowly towards the living room, half hiding in the doorway.

“Am I really going to hell?” You asked her softly and she chuckled, patting the space beside her on the sofa. You joined her, climbing up on the cushion beside her.

“I wish you weren’t.” She sighed, pulling you onto her lap and holding you close. She rocked you slightly as you sniffled. “I’ve been trying to save your soul since birth but some people, well they’re just damned.”

You cried into her chest and she rocked you quietly, shushing you. Her hand ran up and down your back slowly and you had almost drifted to sleep when she tapped your leg. “You can’t sleep yet.”

You blinked at her sleepily before nodding, climbing down off her lap and stumbling towards the little cupboard under the stairs. You were five now. You had to say your prayers for an hour every night before bed.

The door to the closet closed behind you and plunged you into darkness. You didn’t like this part. You were afraid of the dark but your mother told you that you had to pray in here. You had to try and save your soul from hell.

///

“Well this just fucking sucks, doesn’t it?” You winced when Ellie dropped herself at your table, her arms crossed. She looked around and then looked back to you. “Why do you sit on your own? Are you the town freak, am I committing social suicide on my first day of school?”

You didn’t want to tell her. In fact you would die for just one friend that your mother hadn’t run away with her Bible rhetoric but you knew this wouldn’t last long. She was rough, always swearing and she seemed to be more world weary than you. Your mother didn’t like you to know a lot about what went outside the walls of Jackson because it opened your mind to sin.

“You kind of are.” You told her quietly. She looked around again at the other tables before shrugging and picking up her sandwich. “Dina is pretty cool. You could sit with her.”

“I’ve never been cool. I was a loser back in my old school and I met my best friend that way. Don’t want to break my lucky streak now.” She spoke with food in her mouth and grinned at you. You winced but couldn’t help the little laugh you gave her. It would be nice to have a friend for a little while again.

“Have you ever heard of Savage Starlight?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. This launched her into a massive spiel on what had to be the greatest comic book ever made and she informed you about all the characters and story lines she had gotten to read.

“‘Course I don’t know how it ends which is fucking annoying but I suppose that’s my little taste to understand how surviving the outbreak was hard. What about you?” Ellie asked and you blinked at her before shrugging. “Got any hobbies?”

“Not really. I got a lot of chores to do after school. I don’t really get time.” You explained and Ellie scrunched her face up. “It’s just me and Momma. I gotta help her out cause she’s not able to get around that easy.”

“Oh. Was she hurt?” Ellie asked softly and you smiled at her thoughtfulness but shook your head. “What then?”

“She’s getting old, she says. So I have to help. That’s my job as a daughter, you know?” You explained and she seemed to be pondering the thought before shrugging.

“I mean I’m an orphan, so not really. Joel doesn’t make me do chores because he’s boring and likes doing them. Says it reminds him of before.” Ellie explained and you nodded. It made sense.

“Were you always an orphan?” You asked and she nodded, sipping at her water. “My pa died before I was born too.”

“Nice. I don’t actually know if my dad died but I’ve been in an orphanage since basically my birth. Joel is kind of like my dad except not, you know?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. You hadn’t really ever had a dad around so you couldn’t really relate.

“Not really but I’m glad you have someone.” You told her and she smiled brightly at you.

“I think now I have two someone’s.” You shared her smile a little reluctantly. Ellie was nice, you knew that made it hurt more when they didn’t want to be friends anymore.

///

“That girl, with the swearing? Is she in your class?” Your mother asked. You were stood at the sink, staring out at the back yard. Summer had come and the flowers you had planted in the spring were all in bloom. You were rather proud of them.

“Ellie?” You asked for clarification but you knew it could only be her. She had been at the Tipsy Bison with Joel for dinner and she had been swearing up a storm. “The new girl?”

“Yes, the new girl. Don’t be daft on purpose, it doesn’t suit you.” You ducked your head focusing on the warm water your hands were in. “Is she in your class?”

“There’s only one class, Momma.” You sighed and heard the sofa creak as your mother stood from her seat. You counted the foot steps it took for her to get to you.

“That sort of cheek is the reason you’ll never get past the gates of heaven.” Your mother snapped and you winced in preparation when she took a handful of your hair and pulled you towards the cupboard under the stairs. “I don’t know why I even try with you anymore. Get in there.”

The closet had gotten cramped with age but still you were supposed to fit in and pray for at least an hour when your mother got like this. She didn’t pray with you but she did expect you to pray out loud without any pauses or noises of shuffling around.

Your eyes would adjust in a few minutes and you would have to find a cramped position in which you could be comfortable because any sign of stiffness or soreness would be seen as a regret for having prayed and earn you another hour.

“I can’t hear you.” Your voice raised in level and you counted the prayers out on your fingers hoping you didn’t miss one. She wouldn’t tell you until after and you’d have to start all over again. Tears of frustration pricked at your water line and you did your best to keep your voice steady.

You hadn’t been cheeky. You were just answering her question. She was so convinced of your damned soul that she took any chance to try absolve your sins immediately after you had committed them. You weren’t sure why you weren’t able to go a day without sinning but you knew deep down your mother was right. You were awful and you would go to hell because you had been lying to her.

You and Ellie had been friends for weeks now and she had understood when you told her that your mother didn’t like you having friends. She never approached you outside of school when you were with your mother and it had turned into one of the longest friendships you’d ever had without her to get in the way.

So you prayed a little harder for your lies and begged god not to remove the first good thing that had happened to you in years.

///

“Joel is teaching me to play guitar.” Ellie told you quietly. You were supposed to be filling out your math worksheets together but both you and Ellie were very good at math and had finished them in the first five minutes. “He wanted to be a singer when he was younger.”

“Is he any good?” You asked, laughing at the idea of big Joel Miller singing the gospel music your mother played for you when she was in a good mood.

“I think so. He’s good at country at least. I don’t know about all those old pop songs that he sings while he’s washing dishes. He just looks and sounds stupid then.” Ellie told you with a grin and you laughed again.

“He seems really fun. Me and Momma don’t have fun like that.” You told her, hand reaching up to sooth your scalp that had been burning. Four times this week she’d dragged you by your hair to pray.

“I wish you could come over to our house. Joel could make dinner and you could see the garage. I basically live on my own.” Her chest puffed out and you were in awe. You’d like to live on your own you think.

“I wish I could too. I could see all your comics and posters.” You sighed wistfully and she bumped her shoulder against yours.

“I’ll just bring them all in one by one for you to see.” She promised and you smiled brightly at her, swallowing against the almost sick feeling you got in your stomach when Ellie was nice to you.

“I know you’re gonna say this is sappy but you’re my best friend, you know that?” You asked her and she laughed.

“I’m your only friend, Angel.” That nickname seemed like it was gonna stick. Ellie had chosen it when she asked why you always paused before eating your lunch. When you had explained that you were praying she had tagged you with the nickname despite your protests that you were far from an angel.

“You’re still the best.” You promised her and she laughed, resting her head on your shoulder for a minute before straightening up again. Ellie didn’t like saying sappy stuff so she chose to touch you in some way instead, it was how she showed she liked someone. “Yeah, I know. You love me too.”

She laughed and pushed you away but you noticed her cheeks turning pink and you knew you had hit the nail on the head. You were her best friend too. You’d never had that before.

///

“Momma?” You climbed the stairs slowly, surprised to not find your mother in the living room when you got home from school. There was no reply to your call and you found the bathroom door wide open along with your mothers bedroom door.

But yours was shut tightly.

You weren’t sure why your heart was pounding as you stepped closer to the door, your hand reaching for the door knob. You took a deep breath and turned it, pushing the door open.

Your room was destroyed, everything pulled out of place, all of your books open and tattered on the ground. Your dresser drawers were overturned on the ground with your clothes spilled everywhere. “Momma?”

She was sitting on the edge of your bed, just waiting and watching your reaction. You looked around again and then back to her for explanation. “Are you okay?”

Your stomach was sinking and your lungs were constricting. She knew something she shouldn’t know and you only had one secret when it came to your mother. There was only one you couldn’t share. Ellie Williams.

“You’ve been very careful.” Your mother noted casually. Like she wasn’t in the middle of your upturned room, like she hadn’t made this mess. “Not even a trace of her.”

Of course there wasn’t. She had wanted you to bring home some of her comics but you had denied her. All the little notes she had written you were tucked away in your workbook in class. You knew better than to think you had that level of privacy at home. “Trace of who, Momma?”

“Ellie Williams.” Her tone was cold and you stayed in the doorway, not daring to get any closer to her when she was like this. It was a long way down the stairs to the cupboard if she got your hair now.

“I don’t know what you mean, Momma.” Your voice shook and she laughed at you. You didn’t know how your mother made such an expression of joy manage to be the exact opposite, cold and unfeeling.

“If I didn’t know better then I’d believe you.” She said and you swallowed, looking around again like you had been careless enough to forget something. “But when Joel Miller approached me to ask could you have a sleepover, promised it wouldn’t interrupt your chores. I had to pretend to know that you’d been talking to his girl.”

You felt faint. Your hand reached out for the door frame to steady yourself when your knees buckled. You had been so careful but not careful enough.

Your mother lifted her hands and settled a long black belt over her lap, smoothing the leather of it with her index fingers. It was your belt and you suddenly had to fight the urge to vomit.

“I always knew your soul was damned.” She sighed like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. “But I never could’ve guessed to what extent. You’ve broken two commandments.”

“Momma, I didn’t.” You spoke quickly, fear pulsing adrenaline around your body. “I didn’t lie to you. I promise. I never told you that we talked because we sit beside each other in class. We aren’t friends, Momma. She just doesn’t understand that I have other priorities, Momma.”

The words burned you to speak them. It felt a greater sin to forsake Ellie’s friendship than to lie to your mother and when the tears pricked your eyes you knew it to be true. “I’m sorry, Momma.”

“You’ve just lied to me again, haven’t you?” She asked and you nodded slowly. There wasn’t a god on this world or the next that would have you deny Ellie.

“She’s nice to me, Momma. She doesn’t treat me mean the way everyone else does.” You explained through your tears. “I just wanted one friend. Just one.”

“You have one friend. The only friend you need. Jesus Christ who died for your sins.” Your mother stood and walked towards you.

“It’s not a sin to love Ellie, Momma. She’s my best friend.” Your mother froze in place, her eyes narrowed at you. You realized your mistake a second too late. “Not like that, Momma. We’re just friends.”

“Praying ain’t enough for you, child.” She handed over the belt and you stared at it in confusion. You had expected her to hit you with it. Maybe you were too harsh on your mother. “Go on, ten lashes.”

“You want me to-”

“Over your back. You’ll have to take your top of but self flagellation will work better than prayer. Don’t go easy either, if it don’t hurt it ain’t working.” She urged and you stared at her, bile crawling up your throat. “Come on now.”

“Momma, I didn’t do anything wrong.” You sobbed but she didn’t move, watching you with those cold eyes. “Momma.”

“Ten. I’ll count.”

///

“Dude, where the hell were you?” Ellie exclaimed when you took your seat next to her almost four days later. She wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you fought the hiss of pain, leaning into the comfort of her embrace.

You had suffered for this sin, you might as well commit it now.

“Got sick.” You explained and she let you go, looking you over. You knew how you looked. Your eyes were puffy and you were walking with a stiffness that came from being on your knees praying for almost three days straight.

“Damn, you look like hell.” She whispered and you couldn’t help the laugh. Hell was only the half of it. You had been through it all and back again in the last four days and you had made a decision.

You were choosing Ellie. No matter the pain or the punishment, you weren’t going to lose Ellie. You’d rather face an eternity of Hell in the afterlife than choose a moment without her in this one.

“I missed you.” You told her quietly and let your head rest on her shoulder. It pulled at your back but the comfort outweighed the pain you were feeling and so you didn’t move. “I missed you a lot.”

“I missed you too.” Ellie promised quietly, her head resting against yours. “And don’t be mad but Joel totally put his foot in it the other day. He asked you mom why you couldn’t sleep over. He didn’t know it was a secret.”

“Oh.” You tried to keep your voice steady. “She never said anything. Probably thought he had the wrong person.”

“Thats a relief. I didn’t want you to get in trouble over me.” Ellie sighed and the pair of you sat up when class began. Ellie kept her leg firmly against yours though and you were grateful for the comfort it offered.

When lunch came about Mrs Collins called your name and held you back while everyone else went to get food. You made you way up to her desk and she gave you a gentle smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” You promised her. Your mother had told everyone that you had been sick. You weren’t sure why it wasn’t a sin when she lied.

“Your mother told me you got a pretty nasty case of food poisoning?” Mrs Collins asked and you nodded, wondering was this another sin to pray for. “She also made a strange request.”

Your heart dropped and you looked back over your shoulder to where Ellie was waiting for you in the doorway, her back to you both. “Please don’t.”

“You want to tell me why she wouldn’t want you sitting by Ellie?” Mrs Collins asked and you shook your head, tears in your eyes. “If Ellie is hurting you or being mean to you then you can tell me.”

“No. She’s my best friend. Please don’t. I’m not allowed see her outside of school.” You explained in a rush, knowing you shouldn’t be sharing this much.

“Okay. It’s okay.” Mrs Collins insisted and you wiped at your face to dry the tears you didn’t mean to shed. “You and Ellie can stay beside each other. I’ll tell your mother I separated you both.”

///

“Only two weeks left.” You and Ellie were sixteen now, sitting with your backs against the school house. Well, Ellie was sitting back, you were a little more mindful of how the rough stone might hurt.

“What are we going to do then?” Ellie still didn’t understand the extent of your reasoning for why your mother couldn’t see you both being friends. She thought that you were old enough now to just make your own decisions.

“Well we could work together right? Your mom can’t stop that. You have to work in Jackson.” That much was true but you knew Ellie wanted to patrol just like Joel did. She had the urge to always be trying to save the world and you knew your mother wouldn’t allow it.

“You want to patrol. I’ll probably end up a waitress or in the greenhouses.” You sighed and ran a hand over your face. Ellie laughed a little and reached for your hand, tangling your fingers together and you paused, staring at them.

Ellie was turning steadily red but she didn’t let go, she tightened her grip and tugged so you’d turn to look at her. “I do want to patrol. But I want to spend time with you more. I can clean dishes or something if needs be.”

You stared at Ellie, your head tilted slightly as you studied her. She didn’t hide from you but she was blushing fully this time. You stared a second longer.

Oh.

“Ellie.” You sighed before laughing. She attempted to free her hand but you held on tighter. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“How?” She exclaimed and it seemed like she had been holding this in for a long time with how it burst out of her. “I know you’re like super religious and most religious people hate gay people and we’re best friends and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Ellie.” You laughed again before reaching out and clasping her face in your hands. You didn’t give her a second, pulling her in and kissing her firmly. “I would walk into hell gladly knowing that I’ve held heaven in my hands.*”

“Oh you’re so fucking gay.” Ellie laughed and kissed you again, her fingers tangling in your hair. Those words should’ve terrified you but you had come to terms with it years ago while you willingly took lashings for punishment. You knew you’d take any form of torture to get to this point.

“I can’t tell anyone. Not yet. My momma will find out but Ellie, I’ve got a plan.” You promised and she smiled, her hand moving from your hair to cup your cheek.

“I haven’t told Joel yet. It’s okay.” She promised, her forehead pressing to yours.

///

You’d had a plan. It had been a good plan. Your best plan yet. Your plan did not factor Ellie and her teeth into account. The small mark she had made, definitely an accident, had given you away. Your mother had always been more than suspicious of Ellie and it seemed that even though a small bruise could be from any number of things it only made sense that it was her when paired with swollen lips and a light in your eyes.

“No.” She held the belt out to you and for the first time you refused it, shaking your head and crossing your arms. Fire burned in your mothers eyes and her jaw clenched.

“You have sins you need to repent for. You’ll burn in hell.” She cautioned and you felt the tears finally fall from your eyes, your bravery slipping away.

“Momma I love her. I’ve been in love with her since before I knew what it was.” You sobbed and she looked even angrier if possible. “How can this be wrong?”

“No child of mine will embarrass me like this before God himself.” Your mother insisted and you lifted your hands in desperation. “I won’t stand for it.”

“What more can you do?” You asked her quietly, desperately. Your love for Ellie wasn’t a flaw and it couldn’t be a sin. You didn’t want to be fixed or cured or healed. Something that felt this pure couldn’t be anything other than a blessing.

“I told you. I won’t have it.” Your mother insisted and you stared at her, unable to understand her threat. “The Lord says suicide is a sin but surely he’d understand I just couldn’t be tainted by your sin.”

“Momma, don’t do that.” You couldn’t help your tears. “It’s not bad. It’s not!”

“It is and you know it. You wouldn’t have hidden it if you weren’t ashamed of your sin.” She told you and you choked back on your sobs. “You knew that you’d never be without sin but to go and do this. I knew since you were born that you were filled with sin but I didn’t think it was cause you were one of them!”

“Momma! You know I can’t change it. I can’t. I love her.” You were choking on the tears and she only shook her head. “You can’t do that, Momma. You can’t.”

“You want me to stay alive then you stop seeing her.”

///

“Hey Angel, you okay?” Ellie asked and you blinked at her before shaking your head.

“I can’t do this. I thought I could but I can’t.” Your back was raw from the amount of repenting you had required the evening before.

“Can’t do what?” Ellie asked, unsure.

“This. Us. I thought I could reconcile it but it’s not something I can allow myself to do.” You told her, tears already flowing down your cheeks.

“What? Allow yourself to what?” Ellie asked. “Be fucking happy?”

“I won’t be happy if I move out of my Momma’s. I’ll never forgive myself for leaving her there.” You told Ellie honestly. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise this before.”

“You can’t be serious.” Ellie stared at you, her face guarded like you were going to laugh and tell her it was a sick joke. “You are serious.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You wanted her to understand but she was too heroic. She would try help if she thought this wasn’t your decision.

“Yeah. So am I for not taking your fucking word for it the first day I met you. I should’ve sat with someone else.”

///

“Saw your girl started patrol today.” You looked up from the soapy water in the sink to where your mother was standing by the back door. You blinked at her, coming out of the daze you had been in. “That ain’t no job for a woman.”

She had been horrible the last few weeks. Telling you all about Ellie’s coming and goings when you refused to leave the house for anything other than work. Washing dishes down at the Bison. Everyone had to do their part, you hated doing yours.

It wasn’t a bad job per se. You could zone out and let muscle memory take over as you scrubbed the plates clean. No one talked to you much on account of your mother and it got you out of the house for a few hours every evening.

The problem was Ellie came to the diner every night with Dina and Jesse. She didn’t linger and you doubted that she even knew you were in the back. But you always found a second to pause when you heard her voice, as familiar to you as your own heartbeat.

“You never had anything to say when any other women go on patrol. Maria’s been doing it since the walls went up.” Your head jerked back with her grip on your hair and her hand pressed to the spot between your shoulder blades causing you to hiss.

“I didn’t ask for your sass.” She warned and you blinked back tears from the pain. “I think you oughta get to praying.”

“I got work, Momma.” You told her and she gripped your hair tighter. Her hand dug into your back, nails pressing deep.

“Better go get the belt then if you’re in such a hurry.” Your mother spat and released your hair. “Every time you talk like that I get reminded that you’re a child of the devil.”

You had a hard time believing that having the devil for a mother would be any different than the Momma you had.

///

It was years before you saw the signs. You had turned twenty one under your mothers watchful glare. She threatened harm on herself if you so much as came home late from work. You wondered why you cared so much that she remained unharmed when you hadn’t been able to lie on your back for years.

It all became clear one night when you followed the noise of her downstairs. She was standing in the kitchen, looking around in confusion. “Baby, what’re you doing up so late?”

She hadn’t called you Baby in years. Not since before you had met Ellie. She claimed that no baby of hers could be full of sin. “Just checking you’re okay, Momma.”

“I’m fine. Just a little lost.” She told you, an airy laugh on her lips. “I can’t find the bathroom.”

She was standing in a puddle.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Dealing with her was both harder and easier after your discovery. Maria let you stay home and care for her when you went to her and explained what was happening. There wasn’t exactly a nursing home you could send her to.

She began to pass through phases, a different version of your mother every time you talked to her. Sometimes you had your Momma back, a sweet woman who told you how pretty you’d grown to be. Sometimes you had your mother, the one who remembered Ellie.

Then one morning, the month you were turning twenty two, you had no mother. She had fallen asleep in her rocking chair and that was where you found her.

You sat with her for a long time. Just staring at her and wondered when it had gotten to the point that you stopped caring about her. Her death didn’t seem to have done anything besides giving you a sense of freedom you had only ever felt once before with Ellie’s lips on yours and her hands in your hair.

You found it within yourself to change her and wash her. She wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to do it. You laid her out in her own bed and then made your way down to the clinic to get a doctor to finally free you from her.

///

You had elected not to have a funeral service for your mother. You hadn’t even attended her burial yourself. No one had liked your mother, not even you. Maria had tried to sympathize with you but you hadn’t let her. She was the only one who tried.

You found yourself moving out of her house and into a small one bedroom cottage Maria had offered up. You returned to the Bison to wash dishes. You lived a boring life without prayers or belts or a constant ache on your scalp from having your hair pulled out by the root.

You could read books and leave the dishes overnight and play music that didn’t mention Jesus. Your back healed up but would forever be scarred but you knew without a doubt that your pain was at an end.

It had ended alongside her heartbeat and you knew for sure it was a bad thing to think but you no longer punished yourself for bad thoughts.

You no longer punished yourself.

///

A knock on the door gave you a pause and you looked up from your book to the living room window but you couldn’t see your front porch from the angle you were sat at. Just the pouring rain that had washed into Jackson a couple of days ago.

You pushed yourself up and answered the door, expecting Maria who came to check up on you monthly to make sure you hadn’t succumbed to madness while being so isolated.

It wasn’t Maria. It was Ellie.

She was soaked, rain water running down her hair and face into her clothes. You couldn’t say anything and chose instead to just stare at her as she left a puddle on your porch.

“Your mom died?” She asked and you marveled in how you had gone from speaking to her every day for almost four years to have gone longer without her words aimed at you.

“She did.” You answered slowly after a few minutes of just the rain for background noise. You continued to stare at her.

“I’m sorry.” You blinked, falling out of your trance at the condolences she offered. You folded your arms across your chest.

“What do you want Ellie?” You didn’t mean to sound harsh but you didn’t want her apologies. You wanted her to leave so you could get on with your quiet life.

“I want to know if she was the reason.” Ellie stopped pretending the second you did, grim determination on her face.

“We were kids, Ellie.” You sighed and she wiped the water off her face and clenched her jaw. “You can’t be still thinking about it.”

“Still thinking about it?” She exclaimed. “I ain’t stopped thinking about you. I’ve spent the last six years wondering if your mom wasn’t around would we be together.”

“Ellie.” You sighed heavily, stepping back from the doorway. She looked panicked for a second and you opened the door wider. “Come in before you catch your death.”

///

You got Ellie clothes to change into and a towel to dry herself off. When she returned to your living room she was wrapped in your clothes, toweling her hair dry. You had lit the small fire in your living room and now you were standing by the window, watching the rain.

“I didn’t know she had died.” Ellie spoke quietly and you looked up at her, releasing a sigh. You took a seat on your sofa, inviting Ellie to sit next to you. “Maria mentioned it in passing while we were at dinner. I came straight over here.”

“She had dementia or Alzheimer’s. One of those. It was bound to happen.” You explained to her and she nodded slowly.

“I know you really loved her.” Ellie sighed and you turned your head to look at her.

“I didn’t. Not really. I had a really tough life with her.” You explained to Ellie and she nodded like she had always known that. She didn’t get to nod like that. She didn’t know the half of it. “I think she had her sickness my whole life. She was batshit insane.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Ellie asked and you shrugged. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t been able to tell anyone. Mostly, you reasoned, you hadn’t known she was sick. How could you tell Ellie that you thought you were the problem? That you were so full of sin even your own mother couldn’t love you?

“It was my problem to deal with.” You told her honestly. “What are you really doing here?”

“To see if your okey. To see if there’s a chance we got it wrong at sixteen.” Ellie turned to face you, drawing her knees up to her chest. You couldn’t look at her.

“We?” You asked, picking at your nail beds and ignoring how close she was, how your body lit up in response.

“Yeah. We. You for calling it all off and me for letting you walk away.” You turned to look at her, incredulous. “I shouldn’t have given up.”

“That’s exactly what you should’ve done. Anything else would’ve made it so much worse.” You told her, pinching the bridge of your nose to ward off the headache you could feel coming.

“I could’ve helped!” Ellie insisted. “I could’ve given you the support you needed.”

“You couldn’t have made me straight!” You yelled, standing up from the sofa. You paced back to the window, staring out at the rain. “I needed to not be like this. You couldn’t have fixed that. She hated me.”

“She was your mother.” Ellie argued and you scoffed, fighting the urge to turn and look at her. “She had to have loved you.”

“She told me she’d kill herself if I went back to you.” You turned then, wanting to see the look in her eyes. The look of disgust because you gave in, you let her control you. But Ellie didn’t look disgusted, she looked horrified. “I came home one evening with swollen lips and this tiny mark on my jaw and she knew what we’d been doing. She told me that if I kept talking about loving you that she’d kill herself to not be stained by my sin.”

“She was sick. She didn’t know what she was-” your hand went to the hem of your T-shirt, pulling it up so that she could see your back. The criss cross of scars that overlapped. Years of torture and abuse. All of it culminating in this. “Angel.”

Ellie breathed that old nickname and you dropped your shirt but she caught it, having moved closer without your knowing. Her fingers ghosted over your skin and her breath came out shaky.

“When did this start?” Ellie asked and you laughed bitterly. “This isn’t a fucking joke. When did it start?”

“The day Joel asked for a sleepover. I told you she couldn’t know. I guess you just didn’t understand why.” She let your shirt drop and you turned around to find yourself face to face with her. “She told me that I was damned at five years of age. She used to make me pray in the dark for hours at a time. When I was twelve she made me hurt myself to repent for the sin of loving you. I never could. I repented for not being sorry instead.”

“I could’ve helped. I could’ve gotten you out.” Ellie sighed, her hand coming up to your cheek. You leaned into her and closed your eyes against the emotions that were welling up. “I could’ve fucking killed her for you.”

“I would’ve taken you up on that. Isn’t the awful?” You asked her but she shook her head, wrapping her arms around you. “I was so relieved when she died.”

“Guess I don’t have to feel bad for feeling the same way. I always knew it was her. Cause this, what’s going on with us, we might’ve been kids but I know what I felt, Angel. This was the real deal.” Ellie whispered against your neck and then you let it happen. You let the tears fall. You held her tightly and you sobbed for everything you could’ve had for the last six years.

///

You were sitting on the sofa, curled up against Ellie’s chest. Her hands softly stroked your hair and you were struck silent by the parallel of your mother doing the exact opposite, hurting you so violently.

“So you gonna cut me loose or keep me this time?” Ellie asked quietly. You looked up at her and without speaking cupped her cheek in your hand and pulled her down to your level. You pressed a sweet kiss to her lips and she smiled. “Not afraid of Hell any more?”

“If loving you leads me to hell then I’ll sit at the table with all the others who gave up the idea of an eternity of heaven for a short time with the true meaning of paradise.”

*Lyra Wren on tiktok

#ellie williams x afab reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams tlou #tlou ellie #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #the last of us #tlou

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reiderwriter · 9 months

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🍷 Alcohol Free 🍷

Week 1 of my Playlist series! Inspired by Alcohol Free by TWICE.

Summary: You're the designated driver for half of your friends, and Spencer is the designated driver for the other half, so why do you feel so buzzed when you're around him? OR; taking every opportunity when you finally meet Spencer Reid for the first time ♡

Warnings: fluff, mentions of alcohol consumption, but reader and Spencer are both sober. A/N: Welcome to week 1 of the Playlist! I think we started with an absolute banger, and for such a fun, upbeat song with this, I had to make this a fluff (sorry to all my smut and angst enjoyed, please be patient 🫡). I hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to send me more song recs, as I'll be writing one follower chosen song fic per month 🥳

Check out my masterlist here~

“How much have you had to drink exactly, Pen?” You laugh as you watch her wobble back and forth, at her table.

“We started with champagne and wine. And then there was the cocktail round, so, a few margaritas here and there. And a mojito. Maybe a mimosa. I think a guy bought me a pint colada at the bar earlier,” her words were so sharp you almost couldn't believe she'd drank anything at all, but the fact that she said all this while swaying gently from side to side had you giggling at her antics.

“Don't forget the tequila!” Penelope's friend Emily groaned from the other side of the table then were gathered at, face already flat on the surface as if her hangover had already hit.

You'd been friends with Penelope for over a year now, so you were acquainted with all of the girls there, and had agreed to come and meet them on one of their girls nights out. You were never a big drinker though, so you offered to be the designated driver for the half of the gang that were committed to Uber-ing home.

They'd been drinking since the mid afternoon, and by the time you'd gotten off work and cleaned up for the bar, it was obvious that they were going to be a handful.

“Y/N, YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?” JJ shouted from her seat beside you.

“Thank you, JJ, you already said that three times tonight. Maybe we should get you some water?”

“And so kind too, my princess in shining armour,” Penelope giggled.

For most people, being the only sober person on a night out was hell, but you found yourself enjoying it more and more as the years went by. Drunk women were so much like kindergarteners when they reaches a certain blood alcohol level, and you loved seeing what your usually serious and cool girlfriends would come up with.

You also wanted to make sure they stayed safe, and with the impressive list of multiple alcohols they'd just ingested, you wondered if you should be carting them off to the emergency room then and there.

“I THINK YOU'D LIKE MY FRIEND SPENCER. HE'S NERDY. YOU'D MAKE CUTE BABIES.” JJ was still shouting all of her words, despite the bar being relatively quiet and you almost did a spit take with your water as she kept on.

“Stop trying to marry Spence off, Jennifer.” Penelope giggled, over pronouncing JJ's name as if it were her first time ever using the word.

You'd heard a lot about this Spencer Reid since you'd become close with the girls at the table, and honestly, you were happy that JJ deemed you good enough for their Spencer.

From the sounds of it, all three of them nagged at him like elder sisters who found him endearingly annoying, and were fiercely protective of him. It made you curious.

“Are you seeing anyone, Y/N?” Emily asked, finally lifting her head up slightly, but in a way that made it look like it weighed 500 lbs more than usual.

“I'm not.”

“Why? You're smoking. Half the men in here have been circling your like sharks for the hour you've been here.” You laughed at that and pushed a bottle of water in Emily's direction again, encouraging her to take small sips of water.

“I'm being serious! I may be drunk beyond belief but this is a sober thought.”

“Emily, I love you, but none of these men are interested in me. I'm practically a spinster. I'm 27, I have no money and no prospects, yada yada, already a burden to my parents.”

“That was something nerdy, I know that was something nerdy, my Spencie Senses are tingling,” she quipped.

And as if right on cue, a quiet voice popped up from behind you and all the hairs on your neck stood on edge as it happened.

“It's a quote from the 2005 Pride and Prejudice movie, so it's not really all that nerdy, Emily.” You turned, slightly startled in your seat as you finally met the elusive Doctor Spencer Reid.

“SPENCE!” JJ cheered, and the other girls similarly whooped at his entrance. They were overjoyed, but you were slightly overwhelmed, because not once in their descriptions of Spencer Reid had they ever told you that he was quite possibly one of the hottest men to ever grace this good Earth.

His hair was slightly curly, a mess of waves flopping into his eyes, but shorter on the sides, highlighting his sculpted jaw. He was tall, on the lean side and craning your neck to look up at him was a happy experience to say the least.

He greeted his friends and looked down to you, and you felt all the blood suddenly rush to your brain when your eyes locked. Dear God.

“Spencer, this is Y/N, my wonderful, gorgeous, single and attractive friend. Say hello, Spencer.”

“Hello,” he gladly followed the instructions Penelope gave him, and you practically giggled at the sound of his voice. Giggled.

“Hello. I'm the wonderful, gorgeous, attractive Y/N,” you waved at him slightly, but your brain wouldn't stop thumping around as you enjoyed the sight of the man.

“Penelope actually told me about you before. You're working at the indie bookstore near Café Density, right? Castle Books? I got a first edition of T.S. Eliot’s Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats there a few months ago.”

“You!” You gasped the word, as a garage of words fell from your mouth in a stream. “You bastard, I was saving for months to buy that thing, and three days before my paycheck I turn up and it was gone! Oh my god, how does it smell? Are the pages mustard yellow or still A little white? They never let me touch it because I almost burst into tears every time I got close.”

To your astonishment, he didn't recoil from your spitfire speech, but laughed happily.

“It's great, the illustrations are amazing. I didn't know someone else had their eye on it when I went in, I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologise for finding treasure. You'd be a horrible pirate if you did that.” You brain really wasn't connected with your mouth anymore and you resisted the urge to turn and bolt away from the discussion.

“Thank you? I'm not a pirate, but I think that was a compliment.”

“See, nerds made in heaven, JJ was right.” The panic built up again slightly and you were sure your brain was going to explode with all the heat that was flooding to your face.

“What's JJ right about?” Reid inquired, and you almost grasped your chest to stop your heart from beating out of it when he cocked his head to the side.

You hadn't had a lick of alcohol the entire night, and yet you're entire body was reacting like it was drunk on Spencer Reid.

“Oh just that you and Y/N here would make beautiful-”

“BEAUTIFUL CONVERSATIONS HAPPEN.” You quickly cut Penelope off, sending her a warning look that was less subtle than just straight up telling her to shut her mouth.

“Can we go now?” Emily dropped her head to the table again as she threw out the words, looking suddenly three shades greener than she was a moment before. “I think that last shot was the drink that broke the camel's liver, and I'm the camel.”

You passed her the water again and slowly started to help your friends gently gather their things, noticing that Spencer was doing the same.

No wonder these girls were so protective of him if this is how well he treats them. He was their coworker, but he would have absolutely been confused for a filial son for any of the three women as he helped them each.

“Where do you live, Y/N?” He asked casually as you both helped the women out of the bar and into the fresh air. “My car is a bit small, but we can throw these three in the back together and they'll mostly sleep until they get back to their homes.”

“Oh no, you don't have to do that, I can go by myself-”

“I can't let a drunk woman go home by herself, Penelope would give me hell in the morning.” This earned a few giggles from the women beside you. You thought you heard Emily mumbling “some profiler he is,” under her breath as well.

You hesitated. You should've been explaining that you hadn't had anything to drink yet, that you actually drove here yourself and that your car was likely parked right by his. You should've offered to take at least one woman off his hands for the night to share the burden of making sure your friends didn't die.

But it was true that each of the women was likely to completely pass out when they got into the car, like newborns being rocked to sleep by their mothers. And that left Spencer Reid free for conversation.

“Thank you, that would be really nice, actually,” you smiled and followed the man to his car, lugging your wonderfully buzzed friends behind you.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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stars-tonight · 2 months

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THEY HELP YOU BABYSIT (FT. OIKAWA TŌRU, SUGAWARA KŌSHI, KAGEYAMA TOBIO, AKAASHI KEIJI)

oikawa tōru

word count: 410

“are you sure you know how to babysit, tōru?” you ask suspiciously. “this isn’t going to be like babysitting takeru. she doesn’t know you like she knows me.” you had babysat for your neighbors multiple times before--their six year old was the cutest little girl--but oikawa had never met her, and for some reason you had a sinking feeling that he wouldn’t be the best babysitter.

“of course!” he assures you. “takeru says i’m the best babysitter he’s ever had. i’m practically a professional.”

“takeru always goes to sleep when i tell him to,” oikawa mutters.

you sigh, rubbing your temples. oikawa had spent the last fifteen minutes insisting he could get the little girl--akari--to fall asleep. out of curiosity and amusement, you decided to let him try.

his efforts had been wholly futile.

“tōru, let me do it,” you begin. he had originally tried singing akari to sleep, but he was wildly out of tune and actually started annoying her. that, paired with the fact that you always read akari her favorite story before bed, has resulted in a very unhappy six year old. now you’re starting to see the telltale signs of a meltdown--quivering lower lip, crossed arms, whiny tone of voice.

he huffs, pouting. “i thought bedtime was supposed to be quiet time,” he insists, as you push him out of the chair and onto the ground.

you clamp a hand over his mouth before he can say anything more. you sit down on the chair yourself, next to the bed. “hey, sweetie,” you say to akari. “how about a bedtime story?”

she perks up immediately. “beauty and the beast?” it’s her favorite one, partly due to all the colorful illustrations in the book, and partly because belle is pretty.

you grin. “you remember which part we’re on?”

within minutes, you have her quiet and sleepy. you end the story and close the book softly. oikawa is also quieting down. he’s sitting on the floor, resting his head in your lap and arms wrapped around your waist.

“[y/n]?” akari asks suddenly.

you brush some hair out of her eyes and smile at her. “what is it?”

“is this your boyfriend?” she asks curiously. she looks at oikawa, scrunching up her face. “you’re too cool for him. he’s an idiot. you should date my friend instead. he’s way cooler.”

oikawa’s jaw drops open. “so rude!” he whines.

great. now you have two children to take care of.

sugawara kōshi

word count: 789

“is it normal for him to climb the curtains?” suga frowns a little, studying the screaming toddler who’s clinging onto the window drapes.

“yeah,” you say. you had been at your wit’s end for the last thirty minutes, finally deciding to call your boyfriend for help dealing with your little cousin. suga is an only child like you, but with his personality you expect him to be great with kids. “normally i just wait him out, but i’m worried he’ll fall and hurt himself.”

he nods thoughtfully. “not a bad idea in this state. when kids get really upset, they can become physically inconsolable.”

“how do you know that?” you ask, surprised.

he shakes his head and chuckles. “remember what i want to do in the future? i’ve taken so many classes on early childhood and developmental psychology. . .”

whatever information he’s learned from those classes, it must have worked. suga asked your cousin why he was so upset--he had a paper cut--and promptly gave him a bandaid. now your cousin is sitting happily at the kitchen table, kicking his feet as he eats the mac and cheese you microwaved. you and suga were originally going to sit with him at the kitchen table, but he wanted independence, so you’ve been banished to the living room couch. at least you can still keep an eye on him this way.

you shake your head. “i don’t know how you do it. with how he’s acting, we might be able to get him into bed and asleep by seven. he normally doesn’t calm down until an hour after that.”

“kids get upset for a lot of reasons,” suga says. “and younger kids cry because they don’t know the words to express why they’re upset. it’s important to understand their feelings and empathize with them. the more you know about their situation, the more effectively you can deal with it.”

you nod in understanding. you realized pretty early on that you don’t have the patience to babysit your cousin by yourself. but suga is so gentle and patient with him, and he makes it look so easy. “hey, he’s almost done,” you say. “he’s usually pretty calm after dinner. i can get him to work on some coloring pages or a puzzle.”

suga nods approvingly. “good things to be doing,” he agrees. “i’ll wash the bowl if you get him started on that.”

you hug him. “what would i do without you?”

"die,” he says honestly. you roll your eyes, but don’t move away when he hugs you back and kisses your head.

your cousin can be extremely loud and obnoxious--you’ve never seen another kid climb the curtains like an actual cat before--but when he’s calm, he’s actually pretty good. he’s laying on the living room floor, calmly coloring some drawings you had made for him. he’s picking clashy colors and scribbling outside the lines, but he looks happy with himself, so you don’t have a problem with it.

suga comes into the living room with a mug full of warm milk. “you should drink this before bed,” he says to your cousin, and despite the fact that you have never successfully given him milk before, he drinks it without a peep.

you shake your head. “he likes you better than me,” you say. “you’ll make a great teacher, kōshi. kids love you.”

he smiles at this, but you see a proud little blush on his face. “can you help me get him to bed?” you ask, as he sits on the ground next to you.

he drums his fists on your back. “i think you’ve got this. he is your cousin.”

so you try to convince your cousin to go to bed. at first he doesn’t agree, and you’re starting to worry he’ll freak out and climb the curtains again, but then you remember some advice suga had given you. you offer a bedtime story, he asks for a simple story about a dump truck, and then you’ve convinced him to go brush his teeth.

bedtime is a breeze after that; he falls asleep soon after the story. you turn on the fan to circulate the air, leave the door cracked open with the hallway light on, and head back to the living room, where suga is calmly reading a book.

“he’s asleep!” you whisper-cheer, a big smile on your face. a quick look at the clock tells you it’s only seven fifteen--a record.

“there you go! proud of you.” suga gives you a quick peck on the lips. “i’ll make dinner. what do you want?”

you run a hand through your hair and shake your head. “what would i do without you?”

“die,” he says smoothly.

“rude.”

he’s not wrong though.

kageyama tobio

word count: 562

“why is there applesauce on the ceiling?”

“she likes to fling it,” you respond.

kageyama frowns a bit. “and she does this often?”

“any time i take my eyes off of her,” you respond. “do you think you could distract her for a bit while i scrape it off?”

you’ve been babysitting this little girl--who is barely four years old--for almost a year at this point. you had invited your boyfriend, kageyama, to come visit you after his volleyball practice. to be honest, you liked to see him suffer just a bit, and the bewildered look on his face right now is completely worth the applesauce on the ceiling.

kageyama frowns. “how do i do that?”

you shrug. “i’m sure you can come up with something. she’s easily entertained.” you pull out a chair and get a spoon and a bowl.

he stares at the toddler, before stepping closer to her. “do you like to play volleyball?” he asks bluntly.

you stifle a laugh and take out your camera, taking a quick picture of the two. the camera prints the photo out, and you slip it into your pocket to save for later.

the toddler looks up to see him towering over her and bursts into tears. kageyama’s face scrunches up a little in confusion. he reaches his hand out like he wants to touch her, but hesitates at the last second. “get eye level with her,” you suggest. “so you don’t intimidate her as much.”

he takes your suggestion, bending over and resting his hands on his knees. “volleyball?” he repeats.

you shake your head and get onto the chair, scraping some of the applesauce off the ceiling and into the bowl. one problem at a time, you think to yourself. at least if she’s still crying it means he hasn’t accidentally killed her.

and then she’s not crying anymore. the silence strikes you as deafening. you jump off the chair and set the bowl of applesauce on the counter, staring in shock and horror at the empty chair where she had been sitting barely a minute ago. you’re alone in the kitchen.

then you hear laughter coming from the living room. curiously, you walk toward the sound.

kageyama is laying on the floor, calmly setting a volleyball to himself. plopped on the floor next to him, giggling and clapping happily, is the little girl. you doubt kageyama is even aware of her, but she’s fascinated by the volleyball going up and down in the air.

you sigh, shaking your head to yourself. that’s your boyfriend, unintentionally inspiring new volleyball players everywhere he goes because he’s too cool. you head back into the kitchen and clean up the rest of the applesauce.

the sight you set your eyes on upon reentering the living room is part hilarious, part awkward, and all wholesome. kageyama is sitting on the floor, eyebrows creased in confusion with the toddler in his lap. she tries to climb on him like a koala as he stays completely still. you quickly snap a picture of flustered kageyama, the toddler settled in his lap as she reaches up to pull at his hair. his face is pink, lips pushed into a subconscious pout as he holds her, unsure exactly of what to do.

the camera prints the photo. you take it and hold it up to the light.

cute.

akaashi keiji

word count: 556

“please stop putting spaghetti in your hair.” akaashi frowns as your little brother drapes long strands of pasta on his head, laughing wildly as he does so.

you fight back a smile. you’ve been wanting to see serious, calm akaashi with your brother for the longest time, so you offered to host a study date at your house as long as he agreed to help you babysit your brother. needless to say, he had agreed immediately, and now here you are.

“haruto,” akaashi says sternly. “i’ve asked you to stop doing that three times now. i’m going to count to three. if you don’t stop putting your food in your hair, you’re getting a timeout.”

whoa. how does akaashi know how to deal with your brother? it had taken you weeks to figure out that haruto understood actions, not words. timeouts and proper consequences were pretty much the only way to get him under control.

haruto obeys akaashi once he counts to two. akaashi thanks him for stopping and offers a trip to the playground to burn off some steam, to which your bother excitedly agrees. akaashi plays a game of i spy with haruto while he puts sunscreen on him. you don’t have to do anything as you walk to the playground together. akaashi quietly stands by the slide, watching your brother as he runs around the jungle gym. he agrees to push haruto on the swings and even offers to push you as well. (you agree happily, excited to be the one being pushed for once, which hasn’t happened since you were ten.) when it’s time to go, akaashi gives haruto a five-minute warning, and then a three-minute warning, and then a ten-push countdown. and your brother, who usually throws a fit when he has to leave the playground, agrees more smoothly than you’ve ever seen.

all in all, the day passes by extremely smoothly. when you get home, akaashi makes dinner--you didn’t even know he knew how to cook--and helps haruto with his shower. he gets haruto into bed and fast asleep by nine. throughout all of this, you only have to step in a couple of times, and you can tell by the smile on your brother’s face that akaashi has been a huge hit.

after haruto is asleep, you two settle down on the living room couch together. you brew some of akaashi’s favorite tea for him, and you finally have the chance to do some homework together. “i hope you don’t mind that haruto had so much energy,” you say. “i know you wanted to study.”

he shrugs. “i didn’t mind. he’s a pretty good kid. and i know this was just a test to see how well i would get along with him. so . . . how’d i do?”

you chuckle, surprised he saw through you. “i’m impressed, keiji,” you say truthfully. “haruto can be pretty wild. i didn’t expect him to listen to you that well. you did good.”

“did i?” he fidgets with his fingers. “i was worried he wouldn’t like me. last night i read a bunch of articles about how to interact with kids. i don’t have siblings, so i was worried he’d think i was mean, or not cool, or--”

“keiji.” you take his hands in yours and kiss him on the cheek. “you were perfect.”

A/N: inspired by @saraswritingtipps, did some research and got information from the awesome @chloiyoomi (i've never babysat before so i needed help lol)

i don't know how much i like this tbh, i love the idea but because i have no babysitting experience i feel like it still came out a bit weird

shoutout to all the babysitters out there, you don't get enough appreciation 💪

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mentally-gone002 · 1 month

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is it too early to love you? - part 1

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: reader has a boyfriend who is not so fond of spencer, or the fact that reader and spencer are best friends. this causes, yet another, argument between reader and her boyfriend.

a/n: HEY GANGGGGGG!!!!!! so…… i have no idea when i posted last but frankly, idgaf!! so here’s some more food for you!!! this might be my fav series i’ll ever post tbh😉😉😉 also this isn’t in any specific season, i just have alex(i can’t remember her last name as im writing this) from s8 in here just because

————————————————————————

spencer and i held eye contact across the kitchen at rossi’s house one evening.

he was involved in a conversation with morgan and alex, while i was under the arm of my boyfriend, james, as he talked to hotch about something.

i wasn’t listening, just focusing on not blinking. spencer smiled slightly, struggling to keep himself from blinking.

he pulled a face, making me smile and laugh quietly.

“that’s cheating.” i mouthed.

“no it’s not.” spencer mouthed back, smiling softly.

i stuck my tongue out at him and crossed my eyes so that my vision became obscured. looking back with focused eyes made me realize he was blinking.

“i win!” i cheer audibly, staying quiet enough to not interrupt the flow of words coming from james’ mouth. he did shoot me a confused look.

spencer rolled his eyes and sipped from the glass of red wine he had in his hand. he was sucked back into the conversation he was initially involved in, head turning towards alex as she started talking.

i sighed and looked up at james, forcing a smile onto my lips as he kept on talking to hotch without giving me a glance.

i shifted my gaze to hotch, finding him staring at me. his eyes had that worried look in them i saw sometimes and i smiled to assure i was okay. he looked away and i released a sigh i didn’t know i was holding in.

“you ready to get going?” james’ voice got me looking back up at him. i took a few seconds to process his question before nodding.

“i’m gonna go say bye and i’ll meet you at the front door, okay?” i took my arm out from where it was around his while he nodded. i turned on my heel and headed over to where jj, penelope, and rossi were standing. i said goodbye to them, which they were sad to hear, before going to see alex, morgan and spencer.

“i wish you didn’t have to go.” spencer whispered while he gave me a hug.

“i know, me too.” i whispered back, giving him a quick gentle squeeze before releasing him.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, spence.” i waved to him and then everyone else before finding james by the front door.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

when james and i got to our apartment i immediately went to our room to get changed.

“did you have fun?” i asked from the closet.

james stood in the doorway to our room, nodding. “yeah. that guys house was cool.”

“rossi is very rich, and he will flaunt it.” i laughed. james hummed with a sound that told me he was unamused. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing it’s just… spencer was staring a lot.” he told me. “it’s like he’s got to hots for you or something.”

i eyed him in my periphery. “he doesn’t.” i assured. my hands moved over the compartments in the closet while i tired to find what i wanted to wear after my shower.

“mhm, yeah okay. because friends gawk like that.” james sounded annoyed. “seriously, like it was kind of hard to enjoy everything when he was staring like that.”

“hey, don’t put your view of the entire evening on spencer.” i told him while exiting the walk-in closet.

james rolled his eyes. “of course you’re defending him.”

“i’m not defending him, james!”

“yes you are! you always do!”

“because he’s my best friend! you’d defend noah if i ever blamed him for something.”

james looked away, frustrated and biting back some remarks. “that’s different.” he muttered.

i crossed my arms over my chest. “how? how is it different?” i asked. “is it because spencer and i aren’t the same gender? is that why?”

james shook his head. “no, it’s not.”

“oh, i think it is.” i scoffed, looking away at the floor. i kicked my toes into the carpet.

the room got silent, and heavy with angst.

“i’m sorry.” i apologized. “i didn’t mean to… make this into an argument, i just wish you’d accept that spence is my friend.”

james sighed and walked forward, gently putting his arms around me when i was in reach. he put his chin on my shoulder and i did the same. “i’m sorry too. and i’m working on it.”

i nodded slightly. “i know… but it’s been three years that you’ve been working on it.” my arms didn’t circle around his back in return.

“stuff takes time… you know that.” james pulled away, hands on my waist as he looked at me. i nodded. “do you want me to order take out?”

i nodded my head. “we already ate but sure.” james smiled and kissed me once. i didn’t close my eyes.

“i’ll go order. you can change into something else.” he smiled and left the room.

i sighed once he was gone, almost deflating. as i changed i glanced at my phone, itching to call someone.

“hey, mom.” i gave in and called my mom.

she was delighted to hear from me, answering the call with a happy, “hey! how are you and james?” i sighed and rubbed my eyes. “did something happen?”

“yeah… well… i don’t know.” i replied. “we got into an argument.”

“about what?”

“… spencer.” i uttered my coworkers name quietly.

my mom sighed on the other end. “how’d it start?”

i went off in a rant when she asked, telling her about the entire argument.

“… wow…” that was all my mom said after i’d calmed down. she paused. “well… what do you think of the whole conversation?”

i shrugged with an exhausted sigh. “i don’t know, mom. he just…” i put my head in one hand. “he doesn’t get it. spencer is my best friend and yes, friends are close, no that doesn’t mean we’re into each other. i don’t know why he gets mad at me for it.” i picked at my nails as spencer popped into my head.

“maybe he’s jealous.” my mom suggested it but she sounded very sure. “you do see spencer everyday and rarely ever see james.”

“he’s not jealous.” i scoffed. “he knows spence isn’t a threat to our relationship. i… i love james.” i felt like i was convincing myself.

my mom hummed to herself. “you sounded hesitant.”

i groaned. she can see right through me. “i have to go. thank you for talking with me.” i told her.

“of course. i love you.”

“i love you, mom.” i hung up and squeezed my phone in my hand. “you’re okay.” i told myself before walked into the living room where james was seated on the couch.

he was working on his computer and didn’t look at me when i sat beside him. my phone was set on my coffee table.

“what’re you working on?” i wondered. my cheek rested on his shoulder.

“just something i forgot to get done earlier.” he was vague but kissed the top of my head with a quick turn of his. “food will be here soon.”

i nodded and closed my eyes only for a few minutes.

my phone started to ring from where it was on the table and james grabbed it, answering the call without even reading the callers name. “this is james.” he said. “she’s right next to me, why do you need to talk to her?”

i sat up from where i was rested against james as i listened to him speak with the caller. he sounded upset about who was calling.

his eyes drifted to me. “mhm… okay, yeah, i’ll tell her. bye.” he hung up and set my phone on the coffee table harshly. “it was spencer. he said you guys have a case.” he said it without even looking at me. his jaw was clenched.

my eyes lingered in his profile and with a quick swallow i stood up, phone in my hand as i went back to our room to grab my go bag and change into something else.

when i walked back out and headed to the door james looked at me from over the back of the couch. “how long are you gonna be gone?” he asked.

i shrugged. “i’ll let you know when i get to the tarmac.” i said it nicely but he only settled into the couch again, his back to me. “i’ll see you when i get back. i love you.”

he only hummed and i left.

#spencer reid x reader #angst #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #toxic relationship #spencer reid fluff #is it too early to love you series

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k-aay · 4 months

Text

WHAT... MY GIRL?

synopsis :: when their friend confesses to liking a certain someone that they are very familiar with. but they cannot do anything since they're supposed to keep the relationship a secret. and it's someone they'll never let go no matter how close they are. so what do they do in that situation? featuring :: gojo, geto, nanami, choso, toji, sukuna (part 2/2)

☆ CHOSO

He sits along the bleachers, watching as you practice with the students and have fun. It's the most beautiful sight: you smiling and laughing while being yourself with others. Seeing that brings a shade of pink to his cheeks, making him feel all warm inside. "Hey," Choso recognizes the voice of his brother beside him. The boy takes a seat beside him, happily admiring the view Choso had seen before. "What's making you so happy today?" Yuji questions. Choso shrugs his shoulders, trying to play cool as he remembers your orders about not telling anyone about your relationship yet. "Nothing."

Being his older brother, Choso noticed everything about Yuji. How he acted when he was embarrassed, upset, happy and as of right now, conflicted. He had something weighing on his mind and Choso spotted that immediately. "What happened?" he breaks the silence, catching Yuji off-guard. He takes a moment to think before sighing. "Okay, you promise you won't tell anyone?" Choso nods his head. "y/n," he speaks, pointing at you. In that moment, the older brother knew what was going on but didn't want to give in to that thought.

He didn't want to admit the fact that his younger sibling had a crush on you. His girlfriend. His partner. "What about her?" he questions, sounding more panicked by the minute. "I like her," Yuji admits. "She's funny, smart and a good person overall!" Of course, Choso knew all of that already. You were everything Yuji described you as and more. He couldn't blame him for falling for you. Even Choso fell head over heels all over again just by the sight of you smiling.

"I know," Choso mumbles shortly after Yuji spoke. "Sorry, I didn't hear you properly. What'd you say?" He could feel a mix of emotions rising but only one of them was clear enough to him: jealousy. "You can't like her. I'm sorry but she's my girlfriend. I don't think I could let go of her so easily."

☆ TOJI

The man watched as his friend, Shiu filled out a few documents lying on the table. Toji knew him well enough that he barely made any mistakes at all. But spilled coffee and papers that were messily completed were all he needed to know to prove that his friend was distracted. Something was on his mind. "The hell is wrong with you?" he asks. "Got a new girlfriend?" Shiu rolls his eyes and continues with his work. "Nothing's wrong with me. And no, I don't have a new girlfriend." Toji lifts his feet and puts them on the nearby coffee table placed in front of him. "Bullshit. Something's wrong."

The sigh that escaped his lips signalled that he was on the edge of venting what was on his mind. "You know the girl that transferred here like a few months ago?" Toji takes a moment to think before something snaps together, "y/n?" Shiu nods his head. "I asked her out the other day but she turned me down and hasn't really spoken to me since." Normally, the man with his feet on the table would've been laughing and teasing his friend about this. This time, seriousness pooled over and left him annoyed and the reason was none other than you. "You asked y/n out?"

Shiu could've been attracted to anyone but of course, it had to be you. With your beautiful face, your intriguing personality and the way you make other people feel. Especially Toji. You made him feel alive in so many different ways no one could ever come close to. "... Yeah?" Shiu answered, causing the other to scoff. "Really, man? You had to ask out my girl?"

"Your girl?" Shiu repeated. "Yes. Don't you ever fucking walk up to her again, alright?"

☆ SUKUNA

He was a lot of things but jealous was never one of them. And he would love to continue that streak. Feeling such a thing for a person he could easily kill? He would rather die himself. You brought him to a party which was, in your opinion, a bad idea now that you really thought about it later on. He was uninterested in everything others did in the crowded place you people called "fun." That's when he saw someone he recognized before while you were chatting with others. They walked up to Sukuna, a blank expression on their face. "Uraume?" he speaks.

"Did you get dragged here too?" they question. Sukuna nods in response, watching as you talk with some guy. "Do you know who that is?" Uraume nods their head, "Yeah. He was running around the entire place earlier and hitting on random women." A feeling within him struck and burned. "Now that I think about it, he did have a thing for y/n." That was more than enough reason to interrupt the chat you were having with this ass. Maybe it was for the reason of your safety, but he couldn't deny the sunken feeling he had in his chest. Jealousy.

It wasn't as bad as he thought. In reality, it gave him a rush. Knowing that you wouldn't dare to be with anyone other than him filled Sukuna with all the reassurance he needed. Also knowing that he could rip off all the limbs of the low-lives who even thought of talking to you to take what was already set as his made his blood boil even more (in a good way?) He stood behind you, placing his arm around your waist.

"Who's your friend here?" he asks carefully, glaring at the so-called "man" in front of him. "Just... someone," you spoke. He lowered his head so his lips reached your ear, "Tell this 'someone' that you have to leave early before he's never seen again."

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irishmammonagenda · 2 months

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hii , do you mind doing diavolo x m!court jester reader?

i saw a post with a king x jester trope and i could not get it out of my head 😭 it can be headcanons or a short drabble, wtv you want!!

hihi! this is such an interesting thingy to write and i apologise for taking a while to write it, writing male characters is fun but lowkey kind of hard for me😔✊

i also dont know what jesters do and my knowledge is watching horrible histories when i was younger so this is widely inaccurate heehee

no but fr i think in another universe diavolo would be a jester tbh

dividers by @/ioveartfilm

grma for requesting <3!!!!

Funny Funny (I'm in love with you.) Diavolo X M!Court Jester Reader

He laughs at your jokes like a man on crack

You're his favourite employee in the castle and your room is right beside his chambers (he made sure of it)

You sneak into his room for sleepovers sometimes. Barbatos has given up on propriety.

The Little Ds help you with your super cool jester preformances. They're surprisingly good at dancing and balancing plates.

You use the Little Ds as juggling balls sometimes.

Diavolo has promoted you as much as possible, bro atp people think you're a consort instead of court jester.

like they will full on go up to you to pitch ideas or put in a good word for Diavolo since he'll listen to you.

Barbatos also forces you to tell Diavolo news that'll make him angry or upset since he takes it a lot better coming from you.

Unrelated but you'd 100% be friends with Solomon and Thirteen. Which is awkward when theyre in the same room together.

Apart from Barbatos and Lucifer occassionally disciplining you, you are untouchable.

"Your Heighness...." A noble bows in front of Diavolo's throne. Why that scumbag had requested an audience with the Demon Prince, you had no idea. Technically you weren't even supposed to be listening in, but no one had noticed you on the chandelier yet so that was their problem.

And your problem when Barbatos eventually found out. Said Demon standing beside Diavolo's throne.

You watch as Diavolo nods along, uncharacteristically serious. "What do you need?"

"Well...I believe if we stopped trading pickles to the humans it would be a lot less daunting to create them-"

You blink. What the fuck. Bro requested an audience for this? Damn, this was so unserious it was good material for your next stand up routine.

You watch from overhead as Diavolo blinks, his wings stiffening ever so slightly, the crimson-haired prince raises an eyebrow. "You want to stop trading pickles to the Human Realm?"

"Yes, My Lord." The noble responds earnestly.

"No."

The demon blinks, astounded.

"Excuse me, may I ask you repeat that, my Lord?"

"No. Human's love pickles. They're our main traders. It'd sour relations even more." Diavolo says, you watch as Barbatos takes a deep breath, and as the Demon Prince begins to get annoyed.

You stiffle a laugh at the noble squandering, which leads to your downfall as you move your hands over your mouth, taking them off of your jester hat.

Which falls.

All the way down to the ground.

The bells on the hat jingle.

Barbatos' eyes are trained on you like a hawk. So are Diavolo's, but his eyes are more of an excited child on christmas than anything else.

The noble's eyes widen.

"Sup?" You grin awkwardly. The noble, sensing a way out of this pickle debate uses this as an excuse to say his goodbyes and leave.

Diavolo doesn't even notice. Barbatos just shakes his head ever so slightly.

"That guy was in a real pickle...!...Haha...right guys?" You laugh awkwardly, and despite the fact you're not funny at all, the Prince cackles like it was the best stand up routine he'd ever heard in his life.

You were currently at a banquet talking to the Little D's about your next juggling stunt when a demon approached you.

"Hello." She smiles, her red lips glossy.

"Sup."

"Well, I was wondering if I could ask a favour or two....." She looks hesitant but composed.

You nods your head, the bells on your hat jingling. You're convinced Diavolo put them on there to serve as some sort of cat bell.

"Well....I had an idea for expanding our trades of magical herbs to human world Alaska...since a few witches have been living on quote on quote 'lesbian cottages' there."

You whistle. "Damn. Do they have huskies?"

"A lot of them, from what I hear." She nods, her tail wrapping around her leg absentmindedly. "Could you put in good word for Lord Diavolo for me?"

"Sure?" You tilt your head, the bells jingle slightly.

The demon grins, "Thanks he'll listen to you more thoroughly!"

Little D No.2 pops out from your breast pocket. "That's because everyone thinks you two are gay for eachother."

You yank him out of there. "Go annoy Mammon."

"Sir yes sir!"

At this point you should be the Avatar of Pride.

"Sire. I'm telling you. He just stabbed several upper class demons with a rusty spoon!" The demon knight urges Diavolo, who isn't even looking at him.

"You expect me to believe that?" Diavolo tilts his head. You nod vigorously from where you're covered in entrails and holding a rusty spoon in your hands. "MC wouldn't hurt a fly."

The knight looks from you to him with a lax jaw.

What.

The.

Fuck.

That knight's putting his two weeks in now icl.

^^ idea from that one person on tiktok (sirleoninsunglasses) i cant get it out of my head.

can you tell im a merlin fan.

gang idk what noble people talk about i made these discussions up as i went along but i can assure you that pickle trading and lesbian witches in alaska are actually the only thing nobles talked about in history i pinky promise

#gang i cant write men in second person is that misandry #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me imagines #obey me shall we date #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me x male reader

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marzipanandminutiae · 22 days

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Do you know much about historical cuisine? Saw yet another anime with friends and they went the whole 'modern food always tastes better' bit. I feel tired of the trope and am wondering how different historical cuisine would taste compared to modern times. So anything you happen to know as a historian would be cool to know!

That varies MASSIVELY based on time and location. Like. Much more than fashion does, even, I'd imagine (in a given sub-region- I can talk about Mainstream European and Euro-American Fashion of the 19th CenturyTM but the food was so different in different countries that were dressing the same, if that makes sense? just as an example).

Food is often more globalized in a lot of places nowadays, so the characters might have more diversity of flavors from the regional norm than they're used to. But this could be a good or a bad thing- a woman from 17th-century Japan might love pizza and much sweeter Western pastries, or she might absolutely hate them. Which is not to say regional cuisines haven't evolved, too- a museum here in Boston used to have tastings of 18th-century-style hot chocolate, and it was very different from the modern sort. But that's the largest blanket difference across the globe that I can think of, food-wise.

Not sure what anime this was, so it could have been Japan-specific, but I feel like this gets applied the most to the 19th-mid 20th century UK and United States. The whole Captain America line about "food's better; we used to boil everything," for example, and the general belief that everything was bland mush in those areas until the 1950s and then it was incomprehensible Jell-O mold horrors until approximately the 1980s. And of course, none of that's true- there were plenty of dishes that used spices and different cooking methods, many of which are still popular today. See also: Jonathan Harker, a Normal 1890s Englishman, getting so rhapsodical about paprikahendl that he simply must have the recipe for his fiancee to make. There also WERE bland mushes and fluorescent nightmares, but there's less than ideal food today, as well.

(Note that I'm much less confident talking about the whole English StodgeTM thing as we get into the 20th century. That is outside my history wheelhouse and there's a lot of different stuff embroiled in it relating to class and such that I don't want to talk out my ass about. All I know is that I've seen plenty of recipes from as late as the end of the 19th century, from England and some from urban Scotland if I recall correctly, that made ample use of spices. Nutmeg, mustard, black pepper, rosemary, caraway, and cayenne pepper were especially popular (not all together obviously). There was a belief among the middle and upper classes that strong flavors of garlic and onion were distasteful to ladies, but the fact that cookbooks and such feel the need to mention it implies that those elements WERE being used in cooking generally, in the UK, at that time. So wherever the idea that All British Food Is Beige And Tasteless came from, it wasn't mainstream late Victorian cooking for adults as far as I can tell)

(They gave kids a fair amount of the beige and tasteless because they believed their digestive systems couldn't handle strongly-flavored- okay now I'm getting off topic. Read Ruth Goodman's "How To Be A Victorian." Anyway!)

tl;dr- The answer to "is modern food better?" is "that's literally impossible to answer as a blanket statement, since it's massively dependent on the character's original time, place, social status, and personal taste- and where they end up in the present, of course."

Now, I do agree that the trope is annoying the same way every single princess being totally shocked and appalled when her marriage is arranged gets annoying- not because it can't be true based on history and human behavior, but because fiction treats it as some kind of universal precept. Mix it up a little sometimes! Have a Regency character who comes to the present, finds out that her favorite local cheese isn't being made anymore, and loses her entire mind!

#ask #anon #long post #history #culinary history #food history

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hedgehog-moss · 1 year

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Summer fun with Poldine <3 We've come a long way since her first hike, back in June! We've been going to the torrent regularly all summer and she's now familiar with the place and a lot more confident in the water. She seemed to enjoy wading in ankle-deep water from the start, but places where the water starts to reach her belly were a different story! And waterfalls were yet another challenge.

She's so brave though. She'll need to snuggle very close to you and occasionally kiss your cheek to reassure herself (the above pic also features a nervous forehead-kiss) but she'll accept to go very near these thunderously-loud unknown entities if you stay with her.

(if some pics in this post look like they were taken in 1897 and then colorised it's because they are screenshots from videos that were sent to me in low quality so it wouldn't take 2 days for my weak wifi to download them)

Another important Poldine fact (besides her bravery) is that despite being 18 months-old she's still a bit of a toddler : she thinks Only She is cute enough to be allowed to be annoying. She'll happily stomp her little foot right next to you to splash you with cold water, but SHOCK and OUTRAGE if you do it to her. Here I am gently sprinkling her with 5 droplets of water and she's swerving away from me in the most dramatic and indignant way

She's looking at me in the exact same way she looked at Pyrgus in this post. The Pampoldine Death Glare.

There's an impenetrable jungle of blackberry bushes on the way home from the torrent (every year the first task of summer is to open a path through it all over again), and lately she got used to stopping there for a reward-snack after every swim.

You need good reflexes if you want to eat some blackberries yourself because by the time you've spotted a nice ripe one, Poldine will have spotted it too and she'll reach for it with her long neck over your shoulder swift as a rattlesnake.

Another cool Poldine fact is that if she overhears me telling my visiting friends or cousins "You'll see, we've made so much progress, she goes into the deep water now!" then it will be the day when she refuses to do so and pretends she has never seen this stream in her life.

(warning: nothing happens, I'm just like hey Poldinou you should come here where it's deeper, the water's so nice and safe and refreshing and she's like I don't believe you ://) (2 min after this video ended, she abandoned me and hurried back to the bank in a fit of panic for absolutely no reason.) (something touched her foot underwater) (allegedly)

On the other hand if she overhears me telling people "well I don't know if she'll go in the water with us, sometimes she's skittish about it" then it will be the day when she throws herself in like a delighted duck, taking everyone by surprise.

Just like Pampe when she was so polite with the shearer it was almost disturbing, right after I described her as a difficult llama. Pampérigouste has taught her daughter the benefits of being unlikely forever and Pampoldine took it to heart, in her own ethical way.

#crawling along

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izzabela · 19 days

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Can you write about Kuei Liang x female reader about the reader believes Kuai Liang is cheating on her with Harumi since they are childhood friends and close because they've been spending so much time together and he even named the clan after her and starts to distance herself away from him?

Focus - Kuai Liang x fem!reader

in which Kuai Liang's priorities are not in line

a/n: sigh

ship[s]: kuai liang x fem!reader

warning(s): emotional cheating, gaslighting, harumi is not a girls girl guys

Honestly, the fact Japan was Kuai Liang's first idea should have waved some flags.

He said he has a familiar there, so why not trust him?

Coincidentally, it was a girl, but a familiar nonetheless. Besides, it had been years since contact, so of course nothing was suspicious.

Right?

"Her name is Harumi. We... grew up together," Kuai Liang had said once.

It's okay, you're cool.

Meeting her was an interesting... occurance. She liked you for sure, but she didn't like like you. Always eyeing you, sizing you up, but never too close to you.

She was a divider between you and Kuai Liang, but you were so sure that Kuai Liang would know better.

Right?

"It's been a while, we grew up together!" he had said once.

"She just wants to reminisce the past," he said another time.

It's okay, you're cool.

But reminiscing turned into longer talks. The longer talks turned into longer lunches. Longer lunches turned to dinners out.

And dinners out always led her to his bed.

"We took naps together once as children," Kuai Liang defended her once.

"She was hungover, and you were out that night," Kuai Liang said another time.

But it's okay, you're cool- though, you wish that it was you behind his metaphorical shield.

So you still try to get along with Harumi. You still try to talk to her. You still try to have breakfast, tea, train with her.

She rejects every advance. Whether with smart-ass comments, snarky replies- it's annoying.

But it's okay, you're cool.

After a couple months, you decide to talk to Kuai Liang about it. You explained how you felt: how you felt left out, how you felt forgotten- like a second place trophy.

"It's okay, dear," Kuai Liang said. "Nothing is wrong, and you are still my number one."

But the math doesn't line up. His numbers don't make sense, but you still make the calculations work.

Meet the problem half way, find the variables, anything to find the missing piece. But the problem is left unsolved.

But it's okay, you're cool- you'll fix it another time.

But the other time stretches into days. The days into weeks, and the weeks turn into months. And suddenly, the problem is forgotten.

Kuai Liang and Harumi are seen in your eyes They're happy, smiles all around as Kuai Liang brushes a hair out of her face.

It's okay, you're cool- although, you wonder the last time Kuai Liang held you with such tenderness.

You'll never see the tenderness though, as Kuai Liang finally sat down with you after a whole year at her compound.

He doesn't smile with you anymore. His eyes don't shine as they used to, not the way they do with Harumi. He takes your hand as you both sit on the edge of your shared bed.

Is it even your bed anymore, though?

"I have something to tell you," he begins. And it's a lot isn't it?

How Harumi and Kuai Liang stayed up drinking one night. In her room. With bottles of sake and other premium Japanese liquors. How Harumi hasn't felt this way with any suitors. How she's only thought of him after all these years.

"And so, I am leaving you. But you understand, do you not?"

His eyes look for a sure answer in yours. Because you always said yes, always said go ahead, always affirmed him.

"It's okay, I'm cool," you replied.

Even after Kuai Liang was happy around Harumi, now including you in conversations and hang outs, Harumi remained still and firm like stone.

You had overheard her once, talking to her servants about a single harlot hanging around a taken man.

Ironic, but it's okay. You're cool about it- especially with a woman as insecure as Harumi.

Even so, they worked. Kuai Liang and Harumi fit better than you and him ever did. He knew her inside and out, just as she did. And she knew him top to bottom, just as he did.

You wished they didn't. You wished their perfect home collapsed under them. That the roof would cave and fall and bury them alive. But you can't say that, not when you're cool with it.

And so, as Kuai Liang guided Harumi down the aisle on their wedding day, their red and gold clothes well-coordinated and perfectly fit, you wished them happiness.

Even if you imaged yourself in her place.

Even if you imagined her on the side.

Even if you imagined her somewhere else in the god damn realms.

But you don't' say anything, not on their special day.

Because it's okay, and you're cool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

guys i fear i'm in a mortal kombat burnout because i wanna write a cod fic so bad

but if i write a cod fic then the requests will eat me alive

idk what to do

see yall in the next fic!

#mortal kombat #mk1 #x reader #mk1 2023 #kuai liang #scorpion #sigh #toxic kuai liang #kuai liang x reader #kuai liang x you #kuai liang scorpion

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toxic3mmy · 1 month

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prompt: alex is your new and annoying stepbrother

warnings: incest (kinda?), taboo, smexual scenarios, and again… INCESTTTT

not everyone is interested in themes like this and that’s okay! keep in mind, this is all made up and i am by no means encouraging blood relative incest lolll

also, im trying something new— this will be a mini book with hopefully more than two chapters so stay tuned!

Part One

you sighed as you looked at your reflection. new town, new life, new school, but the same old you.

you only had one person you knew in this new city but even then, you didn’t want to overwhelm him with the fact that he’s all you had. you sighed again as you finished getting ready.

a text message from him let you know that he was outside waiting for you. you grabbed your keys and purse before making your way to his car.

“for someone that doesn’t want attention on them, you sure look hot tonight” he winked

“oh shut up. you know i don’t want to go to this party, missa”

“i know, but hey, it could be a good way to make friends you know?”

“i guess you make a good point… let’s go”

he drove you to the house party and you hesitantly followed him inside. immediately as you walked in, missa was greeted by a lot of different people. you felt a little jealous that he had so many friends already. still, you smiled as he let you know he was going to be with his friends and to meet him later in the night for a ride home.

you decided to make your way to the kitchen to find some alcohol to help loosen you up. hopefully you’ll be able to socialize after a drink or two.

you made yourself a simple orange juice and tequila drink and soon wandered off to the vacant backyard. you sat in one of the benches and watched the moon rise.

you weren’t excited about moving, not one bit. but you knew that your mom had a long distance relationship here and you just wanted her to be happy.

you sipped your drink and enjoyed the nighttime breeze. you weren’t too bothered by being by yourself, you were actually quite used to it. you just hoped that it would be a decent college year, considering it was your senior year.

“y/n! hey, want to smoke with me and my buddies?” missa suddenly appeared from inside

“um.. sure, if you’re okay with that”

“of course i am or i wouldn’t have asked” he laughed and led you to the other side of the wraparound back porch

“guys, this is y/n, she just moved here from texas. she’s pretty cool” missa smiled

you nervously waved at his friends and stood quietly as they introduced themselves briefly and passed around a blunt. you weren’t much of a smoker so you knew to take it easy. after you took a small puff, you went to hand it to one of missa’s friends that was standing near you. just as you approached him, he turned around and ran right into your outreached hand with the blunt, burning his arm

“im so sorry—”

“aw fuck! god, watch what the fuck you’re doing you clumsy bitch!” he yelled right in your face

“it was an accident! you don’t have to be such an asshole!” you spat right back

“woah, chill alex, she didn’t mean to do that” missa suddenly said sternly, defensively standing in front of you to shield you

“you’re seriously gonna defend this bitch?” alex narrowed his eyes at you

“dude, i think you’ve had enough to drink”

“fuck you missa… protect your prissy little whore all you want” he mumbled

you had had enough of his insults and you threw your ice cold drink in his face, smiling as he began to cry out that his eyes were burning

missa quickly grabbed your hand and led you through the house and into his car. the two of you were suddenly laughing uncontrollably.

“so much for a first impression” you said, shaking your head

“well, it could’ve been worse. but hey, at least tomorrow you’ll make a better first impression when you meet your mom’s boyfriend and his son” missa shrugged

“i guess you’re right”

he dropped you off at your aunt’s house and you got ready for bed.

you woke up early to make sure that all your things were packed and ready to go.

although your mom was in a long distance relationship, her boyfriend had proposed to her a month ago which is why she decided to move the two of you all the way to california.

you had been staying at your aunts house with your mom for about a week now and today was the day that her fiancé was back from a business trip.

this meant that it was also the day the two of you were moving in with her fiancé and his son. yeah… it was definitely a lot to take in. his son still lived with him even though he was in the same grade as you. this was probably because his dad was always away on business trips. at least you’ll have one other person you’ll know at your new college.

“ready to go, mija?”

“yup” you smiled and the two of you said goodbye to your aunt

the car ride to your mom’s fiancés house wasn’t too long. you looked around the neighborhood and admired the huge houses.

as you approached a house at the end of a cul de sac, you almost gasped at the sight. this house was beautiful. it had so many windows which definitely meant a ton of rooms. you were in awe.

your mom put a code in at the front gate and she parked in the driveway. the two of you started unloading your luggage just as a tall handsome older man approached your mom.

“hola hermosa, im so happy to see you” he smiled and embraced your mother

“and you must be y/n, it’s very nice to finally meet you” he took your hand and kissed it gently

“it’s nice to meet you as well” you smiled

the three of you brought in all the luggage from the car. the inside of the house was even more beautiful. you admired its entirety as your mom and soon to be stepdad were catching up a bit

“well, feel free to look around ladies. i will show you to your rooms and— oh yes! i wanted to introduce you to my son. vieja.. y/n… this is my son alexis” he gestured to the figure that was making his way downstairs

your blood immediately boiled as you realized exactly who he was. you said nothing as your mother hugged him and introduced the two of you. you felt enraged and embarrassed all at once

this is definitely going to be a shit show.

#alex quackity #alexis quackity #quackity #quackity x reader #quackity fanfic #quackity x y/n #quackity smut

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girlreviews · 7 months

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Review #146: Parallel Lines, Blondie

Man oh man oh man. I love Blondie so much. I found this record in the Windsor Oxfam. I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I remember what boyfriend was with me so that puts me between 15 and 18. Yeah, same guy. I actually don’t remember if he ended up getting his hands on this record or not. I think I still have it. Will rifle through my collection later to check.

Blondie was in the “being cool” wilderness for some absolutely crazy reason at that point, and nobody really gave a shit about them anymore. When I was 17 or 18 they were playing the Reading Hexagon which is honestly still just such an unbelievable insult I’m still annoyed about it. I’ll circle back to that.

Parallel Lines epitomizes the complete and total coolness and badassery of Debbie Harry. I have never wanted to be someone more than I wanted to be her. So much confidence. Such incredible cheekbones. Such commitment to art. No apologies. The voice of an angel one moment and snarling whimsical warnings, like, hey you, don’t fuck with me, the next. Always standing in front of all of those completely non-descript nobody dudes. Yeah they’re playing the music, but who cares, who are they? It’s all her. She is Blondie.

Can I pick a favorite? It opens with Hanging on the Telephone, in which she is really threatening to rip the phone clean off the wall. It might be that one. But we’ve also got the classic One Way Or Another, which needs no comment, and one of my actual favorites of all time, Heart of Glass which never fails to fuck me up, but like, it’s a god damn disco track? Like sure, yeah, let’s boogie away our heart break. And I did. And I have. And I will. And these are all SINGLES. We aren’t even discussing the actual album tracks yet. Just listen to it. Honorable mention goes to Sunday Girl, which I always really loved. It’s cute and it’s kind of sweet in a very teenage girl kind of way that worked for me since I was in fact, a teenage girl. Also, not on the official album release, but there was a version of that track where the latter half was sung entirely in French and I always really dug it.

Okay so circling back to the Hexagon. This is a weird story and I’m still not sure how I feel about it, to this day. As I said, Blondie were playing a show at the Hexagon. I was absolutely obsessed with them, and Debbie Harry. I was also 17 or 18 and spent every penny I had on going to shows, but those pennies were pretty limited. I worked as a waitress at the pub that was two doors down from my house. It was full of characters. One such character was a regular, he was in his late 40s, was very wealthy, didn’t drive, was single, and spent literally every bit of his spare time in that pub. Think on that. He paid a lot of attention to the various young women that worked there. Was he creepy? No not exactly. But did it make you uncomfortable? Yes it did. Because you never knew when he might make it weird. Everyone liked him well enough. One day out of the blue this guy presented me with five tickets to the Blondie show. I didn’t know what in the hell to say or whether to accept them. Or what it meant. Whether there were expectations attached to them. Whether it was okay to take them. I was uncomfortable. I was 17.

Here’s what happened. My Mom, who sort of knew him too, since he was always there, decided it was fine, because she wanted to go. But for it to be okay, she decided he also had to come. So we went, he came, and a few friends too. The thing is though, she never knew him like I did. I saw him every day. I saw him with the other girls that worked at the pub. I saw him drunk off his ass. I don’t know that I ever would have taken the tickets. Or if I did, I’m not sure I ever would have invited him. I feel a bit queasy about it to this day. I think in the end something really off-base happened one night between him and someone on staff and he got barred. That was usually the way it went with regulars who were there that often.

The other thing to note is that Blondie ended because Debbie Harry was with Chris Stein, who was literally dying of some rare autoimmune disease throughout their last tour. There were other factors at play, but essentially, they broke up because he was too sick and she stayed at his side and became his full-time carer. When he was well, he left her. They are, remarkably, still close friends to this day and still perform together. Just never forget that men are dogs, and that Blondie is and always will be Debbie Harry. I love her. To this day she looks better than I do in a mini skirt and I love that for her.

ETA: I checked and in fact, I do not still have Parallel Lines in my record collection, but I am quite confident it got lost when I moved back to the US. Also, I’m not 100% certain that show was at the Reading Hexagon. I just know it was a shitty venue not worthy of Blondie. This was 18 years ago. You get the idea.

#album review #music #music review #rolling stone top 500 #blondie #parallel lines #debbie harry

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eddiezpaghetti · 8 months

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Okay, so my experience with Stranger Things is a weird one.

I didn't care when it first came out, started to watch it out of "might as well" in 2020, wasn't interested in it enough to make it past S2, forgot about it outside of going "oh, hey, cool, there's a lesbian in it now, I guess," in S3, got really annoyed when "Running Up That Hill" got popular from it because it was a song I listened to on fucking loop after one of my best friends died in high school and I fully expected its appearance in the show to ignore the whole survivor's guilt theme of the song (and was very happy to learn later that it did the exact opposite of ignoring the lyrics), saw people drawing Eddie, suddenly got a lot more interested, watched just the fourth season like a fucking psychopath because I was seriously only there for Eddie, then got interested enough to start the show over properly, having mostly forgotten what I did watch of the show before.

And let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who started with the complete fourth season, who wasn't there from the start, who wasn't tainted by ship goggles or this internal battle of hope and despair, who wasn't theorizing about what the painting could be or expecting Mike and Will to kiss when Volume 2 happened or rooting for Mike and Eleven's relationship to go down in flames or whatever the fuck. Just someone who went blind into Season 4.

It's really fucking obvious that Will and Mike are gonna be endgame.

Like holy fuck. It's so fucking blatant I don't even know why people are nervous.

No sane fucking person would shoot this scene this way if they wanted the audience to care about El and Mike as a couple. Despite being all blurry in the background, Will's reaction to what's happening here is smackdab in the fucking middle, clearly showing that the important part is what's going through his head here. What he's feeling. It's like the opposite of that scene from Kingdom Hearts II where Sora and Riku reunite and Kairi just fucking vanishes into the aether while it's happening because, despite the fact that she was standing between them when the scene began, she doesn't matter to the scene, so she's just kind of gone when the camera angle changes. Will could have been behind one of their heads, or so far in the distance he blends in with the background, but he's not. He's so obvious that despite being massively blurred out, he's still the first goddamn thing you look at. What, you think that's an accident? You think he's in the middle of this dramatic fucking scene because of a mistake? He basically has a big flashing neon arrow pointing at him with "THIS IS THE POINT" being screamed through a megaphone.

And then this?

They're paired up like they're taking fucking prom pictures. Each one of these pairs is so fucking close to one another and so fucking far from everyone else. It's not, "Oh, they're standing vaguely near each other in a group shot," it's fucking Noah's Ark out here. Again, there's no way to take this as an accident. It's not just a framing issue. If they wanted to make the shot look balanced while still not hiding anyone else behind El, they would have scattered people around much more naturally. Even if they wanted to keep Nancy with Jonathan and Hopper with Joyce, there's so much room on that hill for three people to stand on El's left and three on her right. But they didn't do that. They put Mike and Will together on purpose in the most obvious way possible.

Like I get that coming up with crackpot theories is fun in and of itself and I'm not blaming anyone for having fun. I totally get the appeal of arguing a point and reaching for every stupid little thing to pull into it because it's like a game, okay? I've done that. But if you're trying to actually convince someone (whether it's someone who wants to believe or someone who's pissed at the very idea that Mike and Will could be in love), stay away from blue and yellow lights, stay away from costume design, stay away from the existence of closets in backgrounds. And don't worry about whether Mike's gay or bi when he's in love with Will either way. I'll give you a little tip about persuasion: You're only as strong as your weakest argument. Even if you've got strong stuff in there, too, the person you're trying to convince is going to dismiss anything you say as complete insanity the second you start going on an entire tangent about the shape of a character's fucking pocket.

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, there's a closet in the background because it helps establish that a character is in a bedroom. Sometimes, blue and yellow are just a couple of colors that look nice together. And sure, it might be set designers and costume designers and cinematographers smirking and winking at the audience from behind the camera. But if the show was just those things, instead of those things in the context of everything else, they wouldn't be saying anything of note.

But this?

This tells a story all on its own. Someone with no context can look at this and automatically assume that each paired person is standing with someone they care about deeply, seeking comfort as they watch some sort of disaster unfold. And yeah, romantic couples usually come in twos, and we live in an amatonormative society, so that's going to be the first association anyone makes seeing a bunch of people paired off.

It's the same reason you look at this

And go, "Oh..."

"Those two are probably a couple."

And I genuinely don't understand how people could have watched S4 Vol. 2 and gotten scared. Because as someone who went in with no investment whatsoever, I just looked at these two--

--and went, "Oh, those two are a couple. Good for them." And I moved on. Shut up about the trees for five seconds and just see the forest for what it is.

Oh, and if you're still nervous? Little thing from a storyteller here: You don't leave a hanging thread like "Will confessed his romantic feelings for Mike by projecting them onto El, but Mike either didn't understand or at least didn't say he understood," without coming back to that later. That's Chekov's gun hanging on the wall, babes. It's gonna fire at some point. If Mike was going to reject Will's feelings, if they weren't relevant, they would have had that discussion in Argyle's van. There'd be no reason to leave you in suspense.

#byler #meta #stranger things #theory #I mean I fucking guess #in the same way gravity is a fuckin' theory.#It feels silly that I even have to say this honestly.#Watching people freak out over these two feels like I'm being pranked.#Like you guys aren't pulling a Goncharov are you? Just making believe there's any chance these two aren't gonna be endgame?#Like completely ironically? And I'm too autistic to catch it?#It genuinely feels like I'm explaining that red and blue make purple here. As if you guys should have learned this in kindergarten.#Or like watching whole-ass adults watch Cinderella for the first time and being on the edge of their seat #wondering if she's going to live happily ever after with the prince or not.#It feels like I'm talking DOWN to people and I don't WANT it to feel like that but it's so obvious and I don't want people to be like #anxious for no reason you know?#Like I get that we're all scarred from queerbaiting and I know you guys are biased from years of shipping these kids.#But like. These guys? The most obvious 'there's only one way this could go' couple I've ever seen? You're scared about THEM?

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