#i know there are probably some individual issues i missed here or there so if i did sorry to the truthers with great memory

[roobylavender]

Trying to get into green lanterns lore other than the new ones (jo and tai) what would you recommend 👀

hal is the only one i feel well versed in and normally i'm a stickler for reading up on characters in chronological order but he's been so omnipresent and retconned to filth that it's quite hard to pin down a reading rec for him esp since so many people will tell you to start with the johns era (vomit) and go from there. me personally i would go about it like this:

green lantern/green arrow: this was my intro to hal as a character! he's well into his solo run by this point but it's a good litmus test for readers to gauge whether they'll actually be interested in him

showcase #22-24: his pre-solo origins **

green lantern vol. 2 #1-74: i haven't read his solo in ages so in terms of narrative importance i would simply say read the issues where carol and/or sinestro heavily feature otherwise feel free to skim or skip. the early 60s issues are really a hit or miss depending on the person but for me at least the halcarol interactions were the highlight as was seeing sinestro in his obsessive idiot loser phase

green lantern vol. 2 #76-124: the hard traveling heroes saga between hal and ollie, occasionally featuring barry, dinah, and carol. the first few issues make up green lantern/green arrow, but if you keep reading this arc you also get more introduction and exposure to john and guy

green lantern vol. 2 #125-200: post-hard traveling heroes era. this is more halcarol focused and starts to really delve into the issues that being a green lantern creates in hal's life but personally if you're overwhelmed by the number of issues i would once again focus on the issues featuring carol and skim or skip the other stuff. her predator era is crazy and one of the most fabulous arcs for a dc female love interest out there imho

green lanterns corps #201-224: i don't think you have to read this personally but if you want to get more conglomerate green lantern corps interactions you can (there is also tales of the green lanterns corps for that but it can be a hit or miss sometimes as well and is responsible for the hal and arisia relationship.. which.. well.. we don't talk about it)

green lantern vol. 3 #1-50: basically more buildup to hal's life steadily falling apart which obv leads him into his parallax era. there is also a brief carol predator era relapse that ends in some really great reflections of what makes the halcarol relationship so unique and tragic and ultimately defiant of hetero norms. and we get introduced to kyle! ***

zero hour #4-0: hal versus ollie aka the sound of my heart shattering into a million bajillion pieces

green lantern vol. 3 #0, 60-64, 100-106: hal still in his cuckoo bazonkers era as parallax aka teen wolf nogitsune voice YOU CAN'T KILL ME. he throws down with baby lantern kyle again (bless his heart). the last few issues are a mini arc where kyle has to tell hal from the past that his life is about to get really fucked up

parallax: emerald night, final night #4: hal's redemption and death

green lantern vol. 3 #81: hal's funeral

day of judgment: hal gets the chance to come back to "life" as the spectre aka one of the only good narrative decisions geobard jawnes has ever made. sick that he knew from the moment he wrote this that he was going to end it. i hate his guts

green lantern vol. 3 #119: hal frees carol of the star sapphire for good

the spectre vol. 4: hal's spectre era aka his sexiest era. a gazillion out of 10 stars for peak uncle interactions with helen and beautiful tender tragedy with halcarol (although i will complain it annoys me personally carol was so minimally included here when she had been such a big part of green lantern lore previously. i think this is what pushed johns to bring her back as a star sapphire bc he nor dimatteis could conceive of how she would be impt as a civilian character even though she had shown all capacity to be for like. decades prior lol). there are also big trans hal vibes and if you are into funky catholic guilt and rage this is your book

** hal's origins are messy in that they are basically rewritten twice. they're rewritten first in emerald dawn and emerald dawn ii, which is probably the origin i would go with overall bc it is most consistent to green lantern vol. 3 and the state hal and his relationships are in by that point (particularly with sinestro and carol). they're rewritten second in green lantern: rebirth (2004) by geoff johns, which is imho bland and terrible. personally i love hal's initial origins from the 1960s. i don't think you'll ever get a better depiction of hal as an intrinsically heroic yet externally awkward person filled to the brim with dreams and longing. i also prefer how his dynamics with carol and sinestro used to be written here before they got bogged down in a lot of the misery you see showcased by the time we make it to parallax era. the drama of that era is great obv and i love it but i also miss how cartoonish and silly and entertaining early green lantern was

*** this first chunk of green lantern vol. 3 is unfortunately written by gerard jones (aka the guy who is currently in jail for possession of child pornography. yeah) so something to keep in mind. i don't think it impacts much of what he wrote for this book specifically but it is still obv disappointing and uncomfortable so i wanted to note that. he also worked on the emerald dawn books

for the other lanterns my mutual has a carrd with essential recs for each of them here. in pre-geobard jawnes era john is mostly relegated to green lantern vol. 2 and 3 whereas guy shows up in both and then a handful of other justice league books as well as his own solo series guy gardner: warrior. kyle is probably the easiest to read about once green lantern vol. 3 segues into his introduction in the parallax era bc it obv becomes his solo book. simon and jessica have mildly interesting content in their new 52 introductions but green lanterns is probably one of the worst books i have ever read not in its content per se (although i personally do have complete apathy for new green lantern lore) but simply bc its writing is juvenile to the point of agony. which is obv standard fare for modern dc books. and then there is obv alan as well omg ty to anon for reminding me of him! i am least familiar with him but jsa 1999 is apparently a good place to start and i think he shows up sometimes in green lantern vol. 3 as well bc he mentors kyle on occasion!

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[theoddest1]

Let's Actually Talk About The Issues With Vivziepop

Okay, first off, hello you beautiful people! Sorry about this foreboding title, but I needed to catch y'all attention on this so I can break down the issues that I and many have with "Hazbin Hotel" and "Helluva Boss" creator, Vivienne Medrano. Now I am sure you all on here are already aware of at least a couple of the controversies that revolve around this particular creator and if you have seen my posts floating around already, some have been greeted with the problems surrounding her social media presence and just her overall as a person. I know seeing another callout on her seems very very tiring at this point, but I felt that a lot of the current callouts missed key details that were not at all addressed or properly delved on. I plan on shedding light on my issues with her and I hope you get where I am coming from when I say that she sucks.

BULLYING

Okay, I am starting off with Vivienne's blatant use of bully mentality, her agreeing or encouraging her fans to call people who see flaws in her works sub-humans or harass those who find issue or simply jest about her works trademark cussing and and overcrowded designs. She has had this issue for YEARS and refuses to grow up and act her age despite many telling her, even her own fans at times, that she shouldn't be acting so unprofessionally. Clearly, she doesn't care and thanks to her fanbase caring more about her feelings than her being better she feels as though she doesn't need to change or do better. This goes for her friend group as well, who defend her tremendously and act as though she is never in the wrong. Name one time a friend of hers called her out for acting childish, I'll wait.

Now, you're probably wondering, "Wtf could they have done to warrant such a response?"

Criticism...That's all they did. (White Text is random peeps they would speak with or maybe mutuals)

Keep in mind...they used to be a fan as well. They were also a minor at this point

But, Viv doesn't care, this person's critical yet harmless tweets about her shows is what lead to her painting them in a horrible light and making them out to be someone who has attacked her personally and as "nasty".

Rich coming from Viv since she is completely fine doing exactly that for "Ava's Demon". Not only does she criticize it, she takes a shot at the creator as well, but GOD FORBID others do the same towards her.

And according to someone who knew her well, it's all cause they felt creeped out by her.

Her hatred for criticism is so prominent that Ima makes that a section of its own. But let's get back on the topic of bullying.

Vivienne has a fanbase filled to the brim with pushy and overall annoying individuals who have harassed, threatened, disrespected, and wished harm on many people, all cause someone had a negative thing to say about Vivziepop's mid af show. One of the earlier known instances is the one revolving around a MEME of all things.

This was what started it all, and it led to both parties blocking each other and people being mad pushy and calling them an idiot and the like over their opinions. Now look, their take and you're opinion on said take is fine so long as you stay respectful and humane about it all, but don't dogpike someone all cause they think HH sucks. And while Viv can not control her fanbase, for they are not a hivemind (some of y'all act it tho, ima keep it real) she is seen here ENCOURAGING the behavior. Tell me how someone who doesn't even like your trash ass show has the sense to tell people not to harass others, someone with a smaller following, but not your grown damn near 30 year old ass?

Oh, but people wanna act like she can handle criticism, is a sweet person, and grew from her past experiences. Fam, she was 27 in this screenshot [December 16, 2019] and has shown no change from 2013 to fucking 2024. Over a decade of the same petty ass behavior, and keep in mind, according to several of her old friends and workers, she is worse behind close doors. WORSE. She's already acting like she got no damn sense out in the open, imagine behind closed doors.

Last but not least, a glimpse into her outright blatant slander towards Dollcreep, a once good friend of hers that she even visited and spoke with frequently!

She stated that they fetishized pedophilia yet according to the victim and friends of the victim who were once friends with Viv as well, Viv actually threatened to end their friendship if he hadn't drawn NSFW art of her character and his character having sex [Addi was 15 at the time this was drawn]

On top of that, she liked the post, something she didn't need to do. The art also depicted things she had regularly drawn on her own. Addi being tied up forcefully, being sexualized, being harmed to some degree through bondage, etc. The claim that she forced DC to draw this out is backed up by her own art depicting similar elements. Also, if my memory serves me well, Viv and Doll were 17-18 years old [Doll was 17 Viv 18] and have a 1-year age gap. The way Viv frames things here is as if DC was way older and imposed some sort of power over DC, which sources say otherwise. If anything, Viv had a LOT of control throughout all of this drama, which deserves its own section.

I'll be making posts that talk about the different issues regarding Viv, so one post isn't too long (this one is already lengthy enough) and that you can just pick at one post targeting certain issues around this creator.

[dragonnarrative-writes]

im the anon who sent that gaz ask and omg kyle's interlude was so good!!!!! im just giggling thinking of kyle wondering how much does she know? did she catch on somehow? fuck I have to take her out quick before she finds out how many projects ive finished and the whole time miss new girl is like. wow this guy fucking sucks at his job i want him gone from my hospital >:(

mans thinks shes gonna file a case with a police and she just thinks he's incompetent as shit

I'm so tickled. That's exactly what's happening.

CW: discussions of death and dying, autopsies, medical neglect

There’s something going on on the cardiac floor that you just… can’t quite put your finger on.

This isn’t the first hospital you’ve worked at, but you’re also new to urban healthcare, so you don’t want to rock the boat by being paranoid. But traffic from the cardiac floor is… steady. You’ve read the papers, know the stats like the back of your hand. And the cardiac floor is perfectly in line with expected trends. Every. Month.

There are fluctuations, of course. Plus or minus three to seven lives is nothing remarkable in cardiology. Macabre, maybe, but true. But that’s unnatural. In the seven months you’ve worked here, you’ve seen waves elsewhere in the hospital. The plastics floor had a month with zero deaths followed by a month of a persistent infection sweeping through the otherwise reasonably healthy patients. Oncology has seen a steady decline in patients sent your way, thank goodness. Even emergency and intensive care aren’t as fixedly consistent as the cardiac floor.

When you wonder about it aloud to the director, Dr. Martins just shrugs. “We have a good team up there. Very good at keeping things clean and double and triple checking their work.”

“But if that’s the case, then the number of deaths should be going down,” you point out.

Dennis gives you a rueful smile. “That’s not always how human bodies work, unfortunately. You know that.”

You do know that. Which is why the consistency grates against your nerves. So you decide to do a little digging.

The name that comes up the most often in the chart notes is one Kyle Garrick.

That’s actually not 100% accurate. He’s charting exactly the way he’s supposed to. And no nurse has complete, individual access to patients 24/7. But every dying patient he has access to is… perfect. Their blood work, labs, vitals, prognosis, medication adherence and refusal is almost too-the-letter, textbook precise.

The most obvious answer is that Garrick, and probably a couple of other nurses on the floor, are fudging the numbers.

The idea is infuriating. You hate the way the administrators keep changing medical record systems just as much as the next person, but inaccurate charting is a safety issue. People can, have, and do die because someone writes down the wrong timing for medications or assumes that a patient’s vitals are unchanged. If anything, this is probably worse than that. The fact that everything is so pristine probably means that some patients are just being written off. The nurses might be deciding who gets the excellent care the hospital is known for and who gets neglected.

You stay three hours late investigating the next cardio patient that ends up in your morgue.

After examining the body and reading, rereading, and re-re-re-reading his chart, you find it. A stutter in the dosages of blood thinners, a slightly higher blood pressure reading from someone who isn’t nurse Kyle fucking Garrick. Just enough evidence to have you testing the body with an aspirometer almost too late. And there it is. A fatal air embolism.

You want to scream, but the dead man doesn’t deserve that.

Three weeks later, sipping from your water bottle, someone calls into the office. “Knock knock.”

Dennis practically lights up. “"Good morning, Kyle. Been a bit since you've come to see us. Care for some tea?"

Your eyebrows shoot up. Dr Martins hates unexpected visitors. Then you look over your shoulder, and you understand. Even old queens aren't immune to pretty privilege. The man that’s leaning in the doorway is gorgeous. Maybe its because you work with dead bodies all day, but his eyes and skin seem to glow, even under the fluorescents.

"Can't," the man says, apologetically. "Just dropping someone off."

"Well, at least let me introduce our new nurse!"

The fact that you’re wiping crumbs off of your mouth over a paper plate is the only reason no one sees your face fall when you hear him say, “Nice to meet you. Kyle Garrick.”

[cy-cyborg]

Disability 101: The language of Disability

Trigger Warning: this post contains discussions of disability slurs (specifically the C and R slurs), and the history of disabled people's use in medical experimentation, including specific (but brief) examples.

Most of the content on my blog is aimed specifically at authors, artists and other creatives, but I've been noticing for a while now, that many of the people who come here to learn about writing and designing better and more compassionate disabled representation are often missing what I would consider to be pretty fundamental knowledge of the disabled community, or have gotten said information from a questionable source, for example, through corporate sensitivity training, who's given them just straight-up incorrect information. This isn't surprising, nor is it really the fault of the people seeking to learn more, rather, it's because of the way society at large talks about (or I suppose, doesn't talk about) disability. However this lack of foundational understanding often leads to creators accidentally including harmful tropes, using damaging or unnecessarily coded language or just including misinformation about our community into their works, often in ways that are quite hard to change by the time they realise there's an issue.

But before we continue:

The disability community is massive and we have a lot of history most people are totally unaware of which influences a lot of these fundamentals. It doesn't help that there are a lot of "allies" to our community who completely ignore and speak over us, many of whom have bigger platforms that actual disabled people, so their advice is seen and shared by more people, muddying the waters even further and making it difficult to discern what is and isn't "good information". Because of that, I understand that it can be hard to know where to start, so while most of my content is dedicated to specifically talking about disability representation in media, and how creators can include better representation in their own works, I also want to take some time to talk about some of the fundamental information about the disabled community I feel everyone (creator or not) should know.

Today I'm going to start on what I think trips people up the most when they're first trying to learn: The language surrounding disability. What terms we (generally) prefer, what terms to avoid, all that. I don't think this is necessarily the most important thing to know right off the bat, but it is probably one of the topics non-disabled people are the most confidently incorrect about, and where general misinformation is the most rampant.

Disclaimer: Before we go ahead, it's important to remember that the disabled community is not a monolith, especially so when we are talking about something like language and preferred terms. This post is designed to be a starting off point, not a rigid set of rules or all-encompassing guide. Different individuals may prefer different terms, possibly even ones listed in this article as words to avoid. Articles like this should always be taken as a general guideline but you should always be respectful of an individual's preference and refer to them how they have asked you to refer to them, even if it goes against general advice you've been given. However, it's important to bear in mind that just because that individual has a preference for a less popular term or even a term others find offensive, doesn't mean every disabled person is ok with it. It's also important to consider that different communities, cultures and countries, as well as people who speak different languages or even dialects of the same language, will have different general preferences, and so it is crucial to do further research on your own.

Disability and disabled are not dirty Words, it's ok to say it

If you grew up in the 1990's or later, like I did, you very likely heard words like "special needs," "differently-abled," "Special education" (often shortened to SPED). There's a very good chance that if you worked in education, healthcare (especially for children), with some disability charities or even if you were the parent of a disabled kid during this time, you were likely told to use these terms as a replacement for words like disabled, because "disability" and specific terms like "autism," "amputee," "downs syndrome," "paraplegic," etc put the focus on the things the person doesn't have or can't do. Calling them "disabled" implies there is something wrong with them, whereas these alternatives put a focus on the idea that folks with these conditions are "different, not less". At least, that's what a lot of people are told.

This is what we call coded language, and it's an issue because a lot of disabled people despise it. There are exceptions, of course, I know a few people who are indifferent, but I honestly can't recall anyone who was disabled themselves who preferred it outside of very young children who's parents insisted it was better (though most chose to move away from it as they got older).

But why? well, because of something that I'm sure you'll notice is going to be a pattern throughout this post: we didn't create these terms, and they weren't made for us, not really.

Most disabled people don't really see using the term "disabled" or any of the modern diagnostic terms (for the most part) as an issue. Yes, many do, by definition, focus on things we don't have, can't do or might struggle with; the definition of an amputee is someone who is missing a limb, the definition of paraplegia is someone who has paralysis in their lower body and legs, meaning they might not be able to or might struggle to move them. The definition of a disability is a little more complex and varies from country to country, but the American CDC defines it as "Any condition of the body or mind that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities and interact with the world around them."

These definitions sound negative, but it's not a bad thing to acknowledge someone doesn't have something most other people possess, or struggles with things others don't. It doesn't make someone "less" to acknowledge they have a barrier others don't. It's just acknowledging a part of our lived experience and acknowledging that our lives, because of these barriers, can sometimes look different, in both big and small ways.

However, a lot of people who are not used to being around disabled people get deeply uncomfortable with this, and this refusal to use straight-forward words like disabled is a symptom of that. This discomfort comes, in my experience, from a lack of understanding of disability as a whole, and potentially misplaced sympathy. They don't know how we do things they see as important, how we could do without the things they have, or what technology or services is available to help us bridge those gaps. This unknown makes a lot of non-disabled people scared, uncomfortable or makes them sad for us, even when it's not necessary. They see that we can't do something they can, like move our legs for example, and make a series of assumptions based on incomplete information. They imagine a life like ours and don't know how it could possibly be fulfilling, because they are missing so many vitally important pieces of information, making our lives look empty, bland and sad.

They don't have the full picture, but ironically, this discomfort stops them from learning more. If you go into a topic like this, assuming it will be depressing and bleak, why would you want to double check? For many, the fact that it doesn't take much for them to become disabled too adds to that feeling of discomfort and fear, so they turn away and try to pretend we're just "different" and insist on replacing the "scary" words that acknowledge the challenges and barriers they too will have to face if they become like us with things that comfort themselves, not us.

All of this is especially important to remember in the cases of disabled people who are severely limited by their disabilities (whether it be due to the disability itself, or the lack of accommodations for it) and who's disabilities do have negative impacts on their lives. It's important to acknowledge that for some of us, the negative stigma around our disabilities is mostly misinformation and an incomplete picture, like I mentioned before, that altering how something is done or approaching things differently can completely remove those barriers for some of us (e.g. like building ramps instead of stairs), but it won't for everyone. terms like "differently abled" completely ignore and dismiss the experiences of this part of the community, all they do is remind the person that you are uncomfortable acknowledging what they are dealing with. "disabled" on the other hand is inclusive of us both.

Person-first vs Identity-first language

Another aspect of the language surrounding disability that causes confusion in a lot of non-disabled people is whether or not you should be using person-first or identity-first language.

Person-first is where you put the person before the name of the disability, for example "Person with a disability," "Person with autism," "person with amputations," etc. Identity-first language, on the other hand, is where you put the person's disabled identity first, so "disabled person," or in the case of some disabilities, you might drop the need to say person at all, so it would be "autistic" and "amputee".

Unlike the last section, the answer to which one you should be using varies a lot on who you ask, and both types of language have their own benefits.

Person-First

Chances are, if you've done any kind of work that would have put you into contact with disabled people in the last few decades or so, you were instructed to use person-first language. weather you are a journalist, a doctor, an educator, a government employee, or were part of many, many other industries, chances are that you were taught to use it.

The reason for this is that, before the introduction and widespread use of person-first language to describe disability, non-disabled people were much less kind in how they spoke about us. Many people openly used slurs, even in formal settings, or referred to us (individually) as "the disabled," "the wheelchair," "the blind," "the downs syndrome," etc. e.g. "the wheelchair over there asked for assistance," or "I'm seeing the downs syndrome at 3pm."

This was especially prevalent in the medical field, with healthcare professionals often exclusively referring to their patients in this (or similar) ways, refusing to acknowledge their personhood, the value of their lives or their lived experiences beyond their disabilities. The medical field often mistreated and abused disabled patients, and before the introduction of laws protecting the rights of disabled people, this was not only completely legal to do, but was sometimes encouraged. On top of general mistreatment, disabled people, specifically, those being kept in mental institutions, asylums, and other places dedicated to their "care" (or containment) were often used as human test subjects.

There are countless examples throughout history, such as when Dr Henry Heiman infected two boys with gonorrhoea without their consent or the consent of their parents in New York in 1895, one of whom was only four years old with epilepsy and the other was 16 years old with unspecified intellectual disabilities. Dr Thomas Francis infected multiple disabled individuals with influenza in 1941, and George L. Fitch who infected six children under 12 living in the "Hawaiian Leper Colony" with what he thought was Syphilis in 1833. The personhood of the victims of these studies were often ignored or downplayed, so it's not too surprising then, that when the disabled community was finally able to start pushing back against their mistreatment in the late 1900's (The specific decade varies depending on which country you're talking about), they advocated for language that put their humanity and personhood first and foremost, making it much harder for people to forget that they were, in fact, still people and deserved to be treated as such.

Today, person-first is still preferred by parts of the community who still face more dehumanisation than most in the disabled community. for example, it's still very popular among people with downs syndrome. Of course, generalisations are just that: generalisations. There are many people with disabilities who experience very extreme dehumanisations, and still prefer not to use person-first, and vice versa.

There are also a number of disabilities that simply don't have names that work using identity-first language for grammatical reasons, such as people with ADHD (though some online communities use "ADHDers" in more informal settings) or people with BPD. Most often these are the disabilities who's names are acronyms, and so person-first is still used, but more out of necessity than genuine preference.

Identity-First

Identity first isn't technically newer than person-first language, but it's use, and it's name, has changed connotations recently as it has begun to become popular in parts of the community.

You see, for some people, their disabilities are an important part of their sense of self, or at the very least, their disabilities are so impactful on their lives, for better or worse, that they feel like they would be a completely different person without them. This is what we mean when we talk about disability as an identity, and what we mean when we say identity-first.

For some folks who prefer identity-first language, they feel like person-first is trying to distance them from their disability, often for the comfort of non-disabled people. It makes a disability sound like something you carry with you and that you could simply leave at the door if you could, not an important part of yourself. It sounds as strange as saying "A person with creativity" as opposed to "a creative person" or, to compare it to another identity of my own, "a person with gayness" instead of "a gay person".

This particular reason is popular among communities such as some parts of the autistic community, as autism impacts their brain, their personality, their interests, the way they communicate with others and more. If they were suddenly "cured" of their autism, they would be totally different people, and so they feel "autistic" is a better descriptor, as they simply can't be separated from their disability. It's a part of what makes them who they are. This is also popular among people born with their disabilities who have only ever known life that way, or those who have had their disabilities for a long time. Their disability, weather directly (such as autism) or indirectly (due to how people treat them, what opportunities or lack there of were available to them, the people they interacted with, etc) has impacted them so much that, once again, if they weren't disabled, they would have become a wholly different person.

Some prefer identity-first because they feel that they should not have to remind others that they are people. They feel it is unnecessary, and that if you need to be constantly reminded that any group of people you don't belong to are still people just because they are different to you, that's honestly just concerning. And then there are some in the community, who just prefer it because it's usually shorter and easier to say.

There's also a lot of people who don't really care either way. Personally, I fall into this category for the most part, as do most people I know. while I do lean more towards identity-first because it's easier to write and say, and because I agree, I think we as a society shouldn't need to be reminded of anyone's personhood so frequently in 2024, I also recognise that unfortunately, some people do still need that reminder.

It's important to note, that calling someone "the wheelchair," "the disabled," "The autistic," etc is not identity-first language, it's typically under the categorisation of objectifying language and you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone who likes or prefers that. Using identity-first language for these disabilities might look like, "Wheelchair user," "autistic/disabled person" or "that person is disabled/autistic". A good rule-of-thumb is to just avoid using "the" when referring to individuals or even groups of people (e.g. the disabled, the elderly, the gays etc).

Slurs

I also want to talk about slurs briefly. A slur, in this context, is defined by Merriam Webster as "an insulting or disparaging remark or innuendo," though it is often used specifically when referring to words of particularly strong impact, often with a lot of history behind why they have that impact.

For the disability community, many (though not all) of our slurs are somewhat unique, in that they were once considered medical diagnoses. While a lot of people do make this argument disingenuously, I do believe there are some people who are genuinely confused about this, which is why I quickly want to bring it up.

Words like "cripple," "retard," and many, many more I am not comfortable saying for a variety of reasons, all started as actual diagnoses. In fact, several of the sources I used even use them in this way, such as the sites and books I found talking about the two boys Henry Heinman infected almost always referring to them as being "mentally retarded" or "experiencing mental retardation".

I've talked about "cripple" specifically in detail before, but in all of these cases, the word went from a neutral descriptor (at least, in theory) to something that was used in increasingly negative ways, both by the medical professionals diagnosing people with these terms, and the general public. In medical settings, these words were often used to justify the horrible treatment directed at people with disabilities (Like we discussed before), and even after protections were put into place, the language kept its associations. In the general public, these words started being used as insults directly, both directed at disabled people and in general. If you went to school in the 2000's, you probably heard "retard" being used as an insult on the playground as a replacement for stupid or ridiculous. You can see how, when a whole generation starts associating a diagnosis with "ridiculous" it starts to become an issue. This would then feed back into how the terms were used medically. As much as we'd like to think of doctors and healthcare professionals as being unaffected by cultural norms, history has proven time and time again that this was not the case. If you'd grown up hearing a real diagnosis as a synonym for an insult, it's not going to make your opinion of the patients you're giving that title to particularly positive unless you're going to spend a lot of time deconstructing those implications, which, in my experience, many do not.

So yes, even though these might have been acceptable terms once, their use in overwhelmingly negative ways has caused a lot of disabled people to become deeply uncomfortable with them, and they have since been deemed slurs.

Of course, not every slur related to disability came from outdated diagnostic terms. The M-slur used against little people, for example, originated during the times where little people's only option for employment was in freak-shows and other demeaning rolls, such as being kept as pets by nobility. The M-slur was used to compare them to a type of small, annoying fly, a midge, as a way to further humiliate and dehumanise them.

There have been movements that attempted or are currently in the process of reclaiming some of these slurs, with notable examples like the "cripplepunk" community for physically disabled people (They do, however, ask that able-bodied people call the movement "c-punk" instead). Though other words like "retard" are more debated, and many people with intellectual and cognitive disabilities (who the slur was usually directed at) feel it is too early to start that process, or feel it should not be reclaimed at all. At the end of the day, it is the people with the disabilities impacted by these terms who get to decide if, how and when a slur is reclaimed, not outside forces and wider society.

Focusing back in on authors and creatives for a moment, if you're writing a disabled character, but you yourself are not disabled, I'd highly recommend against using slurs in your work, even if your character is part of the community that could reclaim it. Even if you are disabled in that same way, I'd recommend caution. I often call myself a cripple in a joking light, but I probably will never feel comfortable including it in any of my work (outside articles like this where we're discussing it, of course). If you really, really must include these slurs, make sure to get input from others in the community.

Outgroup Terms

Finally, one last thing I want to bring up is in reference to the "outgroup terms" disabled people use for people without a disability.

A very common misconception is that if you aren't disabled, you're able-bodied, but this isn't true! Able-bodied (sometimes shortened to A.B.) refers to people without physical disabilities specifically, so you can be able-bodied but still have an intellectual disability or some kind of neurodivergence like autism, dyslexia, or schizophrenia. Likewise, you can be neurotypical - the word for people who aren't neurodivergent - and physically disabled.

If you want to refer to people without any disabilities at all, the most common way to do that, and the term I've been using throughout this post, is just non-disabled. Some people also use the term "abled" but this isn't as widely agreed upon, as many people assume it's just a shortened version of able-bodied.

Conclusion

As I said in the beginning, this post is meant to just be a general guide, not hard and fast rules. The disabled community isn't a monolith, and we don't agree on everything and that's ok. Different people and groups will have different preferences and that's ok too. If you're an outsider to the community and you aren't sure what words or terms to use, just ask (so long as you're polite about it and/or it's relevant to the conversation at hand, it's fine) but always respect an individual's preference over a generic piece of advice like this post. Under no circumstances should you ever correct a disabled person on how they refer to themselves and their own community. If they refer to themselves as disabled, that's great. If they call themselves, a person with a disability, also great! I can not tell you how many non-disabled people who have told me I am "disrespecting myself" for calling myself an amputee, autistic or disabled.

At the end of the day, how any individual wishes to refer to themselves is their choice, but for creatives, especially those of you writing disabled characters as a non-disabled person, it's important to be aware of the reception and implications different words may have with your audience.

[Thumbnail ID: An image of overlapping speech bubbles on a blue background containing several terms, ranging from commonly accepted to offensive, used to refer to disabled people. Some of the more easily visible bubbles say things like "differently abled," "Disabled," "Special Needs," "Person With a Disability," "Special," "Slow" and many more. In the centre, the biggest bubble says "Disability 101: The Language of Disability." /End ID]

[bangtaninborderland]

Pairing: OT7 x Reader, || word count: 9.4k || Genre: Smut (18+)

Warning: degradation, smut, dom!everyone sub! YN/JK, fingering, ruined orgasm, oral (m receiving), milking, nipple play, bd(s)m, hair pulling, spanking, overstimulation, orgy, tons of gay stuff.

A/N: So! I wrote this in 4 days it is 9 k and it was so difficult because it is all smut, the first part continues from the last chapter meaning it didn’t start in the morning but the night before. I decided to give Yoonmin AND jikook a special scene. As for YNS back story it starts when you see two asterisks ** it ends after that paragraph. If you are not interested in it then skip it, it doesn’t massively impact the story and I wrote it so you won’t be missing anything. As always please give me your feedback. Love y’all!

p.s CONFESSIONALS ARE STILL OPEN SEND ME YOUR CHARACTER QUESTIONS!

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DAY THIRTY-SEVEN

You knew you had a specific prize In mind, whether or not you could and would be granted that reward was something that left you feeling a rather dull sense of uncertainty. However, you chose to ignore this and headed straight to the producers' van as you were sure of your choice.

“YN is everything okay?” Was the first thing Sejin asked, upon seeing you he opened the door, coming down the steps to lean against the stationary vehicle. Normally you’d be more than happy to have a long conversation with him but now wasn’t the time for that, not when butterflies danced around your stomach and threatened to spew from your mouth.

You gave him a curt nod. “I want to talk about the reward..”

“What have you chosen?”

“I want one day with them, 24 hours with no rules or limits. I want to be able to touch them all and vice Versa. Is that possible?”

“I would have to talk to the producers about it, we would be two days short on time for the prompts but if you think that’s sufficient then I don’t see any issue with it. Give me 10 minutes, I’ll check in with them and see what they say.” He smiled at you before one against disappearing into the van. You didn’t try to eavesdrop as you paced back and forth outside, the fear of being told no starting to gnaw at you.

You almost jumped as a hand came to rest on your shoulder, only relaxing when you see Yoongi there. “Why do you look like a deer in headlights?”

“Because I asked for what I wanted but I’m afraid I’ll be told no.” You sighed, wrapping your arms around him for a hug.

He must have been able to tell you needed the comfort as he rested a hand on your back, his fingers lazily drawing patterns over the fabric of Jungkooks shirt. “What did you ask for love?”

“To have you all for 24 hours with no rules or limits just us all together. I didn’t want to tell anyone in case they said no, I didn’t want to give false hope.”

“What are we going to do with you hm?” He pulled back, hand stroking your cheek. “Always the kindest.”

“It’s hard yoon. I don’t say it much but it’s hard, seeing everyone and not being able to touch them. Whilst we are here the primary focus is the show, I know that’s changed for us but somehow it hasn’t because we still have to complete everything given to us. I’ll never regret coming here because it led me all to you but I wish we had more time to be with each other, I wish we could all go on a date together. A big date. I know that sounds ridiculous but I want you all and I want you all to want each other and to want me. I don’t want anything to change.”

He searched your eyes for a moment before pressing a tender kiss to your cheekbone. “You’ve been keeping a little too much in sweetheart, you’ve got to let it out some time we are all here for you. Most of us couldn’t get through this show if it wasn’t for you.”

“Well, that's probably kind of because I have a vagina and I’m the lady of the house.” You laugh through light tears that had begun to blur your vision.

He shook his head, chuckling lightly. “No, your smile on a difficult day, the way you care for us individually, the way you support us all regardless of what way you do it. We need you just as much as we need Hoseok, or Taehyung, seokjin Hyung, Namjoonie, kook-ah or Jimin.

You smiled a bit. Even in the most stressful situations, any of their presence was such a pacifying one, it silenced the disquieted feelings in you, leaving you with a slight warmth and a resolve that no matter what happens everything will be okay.

“Once it’s nearer the end I think we should all gather and talk again, we could all use it.” You knew that you weren’t the only one with worries, your conversation with Taehyung just a week earlier had lingered in your mind, the real possibility that in the outside world things just wouldn’t work out.

You didn’t have any more time to discuss the matter as Sejin opened the door, both of your heads turning to face him. You couldn’t read his facial expressions so you had nothing to go off as he approached you. “Well, I’ve talked with them.”

“And?”

“You’ve got until midday on Tuesday, it’s Sunday now so that’s a little over 24 hours but the producing team said we had gotten a good amount of footage and it should still be possible to get the prompts done between Tuesday and Sunday as there’s still five days and only three left. “

“Wait really?” You turned to face yoongi who was wearing a smile just as big as yours, they all knew they could touch each other so this may have been selfish as realistically you were the only one benefitting from it yet still the doctor only smiled at you, for you. “I have to go tell them.”

You almost run away before thanking Sejin who just replied with a “yeah yeah.”

You made a note to truly thank him before the show was over, the finish line almost in view. For now, that didn’t matter, for now, you have seven amazing people to spend 24 free hours with.

You nearly tripped over the doorframe as you slipped your shoes off, only steadying yourself before rushing into the living room where everyone had gathered. “We have 24 hours, 24 hours no rules we can touch we can do whatever we can be together just as normal with no worry about being evicted.”

Everyone stood up slowly from their respective seats darted around the room, each and every face holding a look of anticipation and hope that brought a smile to your lips. “So…they said yes?”

“We have a little more than 24 hours, our time finishes at midday on Tuesday.” You explained excitedly, their faces reading back the joy you felt.

“You thought of the most perfect prize petal.” Taehyung laughed, crossing the room to take your hand in his, kissing the back of it gently.

Jungkook shuffled from one foot to another, hands clasping awkwardly at either side. “I want to kiss you so badly.”

“Then why are you waiting?” You asked daringly, raising your eyebrows only to encourage the cam boy.

“Fuck I missed this.” He rasped, hand resting atop your cheek gently as the other hand slid to your neck, gripping it lightly. The kiss embodies everything Jungkook is as a person. His soft and sweet side morphing with the flirtatious and downright sexy side of him. You almost wanted to demand he chose one - sweet or sexy, you weren’t sure you could handle him being both.

Taehyung was next. Nudging Jungkook to the side as he rested a hand atop your hip as the other gripped the back of your neck, trapping your lips against his. You moaned into his mouth as he tugged on your hair, which only caused the others to groan.

“Seokjinnie.” You called out as taehyung stepped away, making grabby hands at the older man who happily divulged you. He crossed the small space between you in two steps, long fingers caressing your face. You had almost forgotten how beautifully the man kissed, every millisecond filled with softness but also a light air of dominance. Lips both barely brushing against yours and being overwhelmingly forceful. “Fuck.” He whispered pulling away, resting his forehead against yours to allow you both time to bathe your breath.

“Where’s hobi?” You asked, looking around until you see him standing behind Namjoon.

“Can I hug you?” You asked, wanting to have the man close, as much as you respected his identity and preference it didn’t cause a faint sadness in your heart that you’d never be able to show him the love you held for him in the way you had once hoped to. As his arms wrapped around you that feeling disappeared into some dark corner of your mind, the warmth of his body against yours and the sound feeling that he was there for you just as much as anyone else even though it may be different was more than enough to make you feel complete.

“Group hug,” Jungkook shouted, plummeting into your both as everyone else joined. Even yoongi, although he will swear later he didn’t.

“Group kiss?” Taehyung asked, only to be responded with giggles and a poke to his side from Hoseok.

“I don’t want to sleep, I can finally touch you all and kiss you all, I don’t want to waste any of that time.” You sighed, everyone slowly letting go of the hug. “I missed this so much.”

Seokjin wrapped an arm around your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We did too baby but sleeping is important, we sleep early we can wake up early. I’ll get dinner started, yoon do you want to help?”

“Okay, Hyung.” Yoongi nodded giving your arm a final squeeze before walking off with seokjin, if anyone noticed the way their fingers entwined the second they were away from the group no one said anything.

Before you could move Jungkook had already wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling you close against him as though any distance was too far. You couldn’t say you didn’t feel the need to be close to them all, especially now there were no limits to the way you could touch them, you had never thought the rules would be an issue but then again you never anticipated falling in love with everyone here.

“What are you thinking about?” Namjoon asked from across the room, the book he had been reading for the past few days placed atop the table beside him.

You shook your head leaning back against Jungkook. “Just how much I missed this”

“C'mon Hyung, you know baby is always greedy.” Jimin teased, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“I may be greedy but so are you. I don’t ever hear you complain when I let you fuck me senseless.” You retorted, you could play dangerously too. “Taehyungie, come here.” You reached out a hand to the other. Jungkook didn’t move but relaxed one arm to pull taehyung to you. It felt thrilling to be trapped between the pair, their bodies flush against yours. You couldn’t move even if you tried and you like that far more than you cared to admit, the feeling of being helpless between two of the sexiest men you’ve ever met left you feeling dizzy your legs giving out just a little as Taehyung brought his fingers to your lips.

“Open.” His voice was demanding and left no room for argument so you didn’t, you parted your lips slightly allowing him enough space to slide his finger into your mouth. You closed your lips around the digit, swirling your tongue around the pad of his thumb. “Fuck.” He groaned. “I want to watch you fall apart piece by piece.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook called out, you could feel his cock growing against your ass which only encouraged your own arousal. “You should wait until after dinner.” What? No. That is exactly what you didn’t want. You tried shaking your head but Taehyung slid his thumb out, fingers gripping painfully into your chin. “Be patient.”

You let out a whine in protest, pulling him closer to you only for him to grab your throat. “Ah ah, don’t even try it sweetheart, quiet okay? Behave and I promise I’ll make you feel good later.”

Your mouth went dry. Completely mesmerised by the man, you were sure you were falling in love all over again. “O-okay.”

It had been a while since you felt this floaty, this pliant and willing, for a moment you felt fear before falling slack against jungkook a mist covering your mind and leaving you feeling blissful.

“Did you just?” You heard someone ask, not bothering to find out who it was. Everything felt right, you didn’t want to disturb that.

You heard a voice close to you, jimin maybe. “Subspace?”

“I think so.” You reached forward for taehyung, wanting him next to you only to be pulled away by someone else. “Come here, darling.”

You whined, trying to find your way back to taehyung. “Tae.”

“He’s coming, baby. Tae Tae is coming let’s go sit down hm?” You could recognise the feeling of namjoons hands on your arms, guiding you over to the couch.

“Jungkook go and get some water.” Jimin directed the younger, you buried yourself deeper into namjoons frame, his warmth being inviting.

You weren’t stupid you knew what was happening but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, you felt safe with them, safe enough to let them take care of everything for a little while. “Jinnie.”

“You want Seokjin Hyun?” Namjoon asked, rubbing a hand up and down your back.

You nodded, or at least you think you did. “Yoongi too.”

“Okay okay.” He laughed calling the others in.

“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked walking over to where you were nestled against Joon. “Is she okay?”

“Tae was having a little fun with her and she seemed to slip.” Jungkook answered, taking a seat at the end of the couch. “She said she wanted both of you.”

“Hoseok can you go and watch the food?” Jin would have asked one of the youngers but he was sure something would burn and Hoseok was the only one who knew how to season the meat right.

The dominant stepped forward, happy to help, he was always happy to help. You didn’t want him to help. You didn’t want anyone to do anything but be around you. “No!” You mumbled, wanting them all around you. “Stay.”

Yoongi was in front of you, hands on your face. Hobi stood behind him, close enough you could touch him. “We all need to eat darling, so do you.”

“I’ll be gone a few minutes and then I will come back and sit with you okay?” Hoseok spoke up, reaching out to grab your hand. “Be good for me, I know you want us all here with you I promise once we all eat we can make a pillow fort across the floor and all sleep downstairs.”

You loved this side of Hoseok, it wasn’t one you found yourself the pleasure of seeing often so whenever it did make an appearance you filed the memory away in your mind for safekeeping. “okay but be quick.” You found yourself pouting, if you weren’t feeling so floaty you may have been hit with a wave of embarrassment but that consciousness was too far out of reach.

“Can you drink some for me sweetheart?” Jin bent down, brushing your hair away from your forehead. You moved forward, allowing yourself to drink from the bottle with ease before sitting back against namjoon. “So good baby.”

You smiled at the praise, head lulling against the philosopher. “Love you.” You whispered, wanting them all to know how you felt, even if it wasn’t a huge deceleration those words held a meaning you wished some day to explain.

Everyone responded, at least you think everyone did. The blanket that clouded your mind had only caused you to feel tired and despite the dinner you knew was being cooked there was no good reason to hold back from sleep, so you didn’t. With Namjoons body against you and the comforting voices of the others around the room, you slipped into dreamland peacefully.

“She’s asleep I think.” Jimin touched namjoons shoulder. “Want me to move so you can lay her down?”

“No it’s okay, I don’t want to disturb her.” Namjoon refused, leaning back to give himself more room.

“That was definitely different, she’s never gone into a submissive headspace like that before. At least not with me.” Hoseok spoke up, leaning against the wall. “Jimin?”

Jimin pursed his lips together, rethinking all the times there had ever been a scene between the two of you before shaking his head. “She’s never been like that before whenever we have gotten into a scene, yes she has her moments of being in a submissive space but never to that extent and never that fast.”

“It’s not like it’s a bad thing.” Tae smiled, head resting on Jungkooks shoulder. “Right?”

“It’s not bad I’ve seen people fall harder and faster but it’s more so the reasoning for it, you weren’t extremely dominant with her and it didn’t become sexual. Sometimes entering a submissive space isn’t caused by pleasure it can be caused by stress, those who have fallen into submissive headspace can often use that place to keep them grounded or even relaxed if they are experiencing stress or going through a stressful situation. I think the emotions that come along with the rules being lifted for 24 hours only have her all the more reason to submit.”

“Let’s let her sleep until dinner, call me if she wakes up.” Seokjin didn’t wait for a response before turning towards the kitchen Yoongi following behind him.

—-

“Baby?” You felt yourself shaking lightly, pulling you from the dream you had just been living in. “You gotta wake up petal dinner is ready.”

“Jin?” You mumbled, reaching for the man. The absence of namjoons body against yours left you feeling cold. “Did I sleep long?”

He wrapped an arm around you, helping you sit up. “No, only about thirty minutes give or take. How are you feeling?”

You took his hand, steadying yourself as you stood. Still sleepy you chose to rest your head against his shoulder earning a light chuckle from you. “M’ okay. Not feeling like that anymore”

“It was an adorable sight to see,” Seokjin replied, a hand rubbing up and down your back. “

You groaned wanting to throw yourself back on the couch to sleep. “Food.”

“Sure sweet girl let’s go get you some food.” It felt good to be like this with him, this natural feeling to your conversation and actions with one another. “Jimin said he wanted to tell you something.”

You nodded towards seokjin, thanking him for waking you before taking a spare seat between Jimin and Namjoon. “Feeling better?” Jimin leaned in, questioning with a smirk.

You pushed him lightly, embarrassment seeping in. “Shut up.”

“Wow someone woke up feisty.” Hoseok laughed, passing you the salad bowl. You lightly snatched it out of his hand, sticking your tongue out. You ignored his teasing as you turned to Jimin.

“Seokjin said you had something to say?” You raised an eyebrow, cutting into the steak on your plate.

“I asked Sejin if we could do the date on Wednesday, it wouldn’t interrupt with your time to be with everyone else. He said it was okay as long as you were fine with it.” He explained, filling your glass with water. “You should enjoy this time.”

Despite your grogginess and the mild irritation seeping through your bones at the teasing happening just across the table, you felt so much love and pride that these were the people you’d found yourself falling in love with. Kind-hearted and considerate.

A shy smile melted across your face, eyes softening at him. “Thank you. Seriously Jimin, that means so much to me.”

“Don’t thank me for that, there are many things you could thank me for but now that. I wish you could have us all the time. How does it really feel?” He asked, his question quite in comparison to the chatter around you.

You held the food close to your mouth, raising an eyebrow at him. “How does what feel?”

“The show, us, everything.” There was a weight to his question you were unsure if you liked.

“The show is fine, there are moments I find myself questioning why we don’t all leave just to be rid of the rules but I think the time we get with one another and of course ending the prize keeps us all here. With us I feel good, happy, I think we all have concerns about the future but apart from that I’m okay.”

He looked over you, as though hoping to deduce whether or not you were being truthful, eventually, he nodded. “I’m always here for you.”

You once again thanked him, looking down at your plate to prevent an onslaught of unwanted tears at his sudden and unexpected affection. You thanked the gods when his attention returned to his food as he began talking to Yoongi.

The meal passed quickly, everyone checking in with you now an again whenever their own conversation ended. You didn’t feel like talking much instead you opted to watch them all, Seokjin was in a heated debate with Hoseok about a game they had both played courtesy of Jungkook, eventually the younger threatening to delete their progress if they didn’t stop. It was endearing how despite being the youngest Jungkook still carried an aura of maturity to him. Namjoon had given his opinion a few times on the conversation between yoongi, taehyung and Jimin. Namjoon had asked Yoongi what it was like to be a gynaecologist and exactly why he had chosen that career, it led to yoongi explaining his entire university experience with Jimin and Taehyung asking questions in between their completely obvious game of footsies.

**The outside world wasn’t perfect, you knew that. You’d had many fights with your parents over the years about your choices at school, choosing to take art with a desire to make beautiful things in the world. Eventually, they had grown to be accepting of your “outward” choices. You found a knack for nudity, the rawness that came from seeing something in its natural element. Once or twice you’d found yourself modelling for art classes, though you’d never tell your parents that. Being an only child wasn’t easy, it was definitely lonely growing up but your parents did whatever they could to keep you entertained, they gave you everything they had and then some. You remember the conversations your mother would have with you about finding someone who brought you the same happiness you felt then, who respected you and loved you as much as they did. It was at that moment, your eyes darting from face to face you realised you’d done just that. You’d found people you could call family. **

The night passed rarely quickly, you’d offered to help clean up only to be told that Jungkook would bare the task tonight after losing a game of rock paper scissors with Hoseok. The game you once found no meaning in had become a staple for resolving issues or making decisions, although you did notice how wrong that could lead things to being. You’d enjoyed watching them all, you had laughed so much at one point after Namjoon had snorted water out of his nose when Taehyung had joked and said his cock was showing through a hole in his pants. All in all the night was perfect.

Hoseok followed through on his promise of you all sleeping in the same room in a makeshift bed, limbs entwined with one another, soft kisses and rough groping and light moans shared between you all. The day had been exhausting with the tasks earlier and then the sudden slip into sub-space. Sleep was well welcomed, and everyone slowly fell into a comforting quietness.

You once again heard sweet whispers of “goodnight.” In your ear just as the curtains of sleep converted you.

The morning started off with a bang, literally. To be more specific it started off with a very tired Namjoon knocking off 4 glasses from the shelf in an attempt to get some water. You’d all jumped up, fright and various stages of panic set across your faces as you all run to check what had happened only to be met with Namjoon shouting “Be careful, there’s glass.”

“What- who? Namjoon?” Seokjin stuttered, eyes flickering from the shards on the floor to the open cupboard. “How.”

“Well, Hyung I tried to reach back for the glass I like but then when I was pulling it out one fell and then I tried to catch the others but that led to me dropping the one I liked and then I tried to catch that one which meant all the others fell. I’m sorry it was an accident.” There was an immaturity to Namjoons clumsiness but it was something you found endearing. He was a gentle giant with no perception of his surroundings. “I’ll clean it up.” He offered shyly, about to move before Yoongi shouted to him.

“Don’t, wait there do not move.” He rushed to the door, grabbed some slippers, throwing them to Namjoon who just about caught them. “Put them on and step over here, mind the glass as much as you can. Hobi get the broom and find something to sweep it into. Everyone else go and sit in the living room, watch the floor for any shards that may have flown across the room.”

It took ten minutes before yoongi had finished cleaning up the mess, you all dispersed, heading off to brush your teeth and freshen up before returning to the living room where yoongi had been waiting waving a hand in disregard at Namjoons countless apologies. “It’s fine it’s all clean now just be careful in case of any stray shards.”

“Thanks for cleaning it Hyung. Jimin passed him a smile before winning at you.”

“There’s only one good way to spend this day.” Taehyung stood, rushing to pull yoongi to the couches.

Jimin leant forward, resting his arms on his legs. “And what’s that pup?”

“An orgy.”

“I’m in.” Jungkook responded with no hesitation, standing up as if almost to volunteer.

“I don’t see why not.” Seokjin added, nudging yoongi who sat back with a smirk across his lips, eyes twisting to something filled with lust.

Namjoon coughed, pressing his palms together. “What do you think YN?”

“I want you all. Maybe that makes me greedy but I don’t want to waste a second of this day.”

“Hobi?” You turned, facing the one who had been quietest throughout the whole discussion.

“Only if jimin goes down on me.” He laughed, a bright smile across his face however you could tell he was serious. “Are you in?”

“Please you couldn’t even last, let’s make it a real bet. I make you cum in 5 minutes and you don’t fuck anyone for a week. I lose and I’ll not fuck anyone but YN for a week.”

“Doesn’t really seem fair.” Hoseok smirked, his eyebrows raising as he seemed to have come up with another idea. “You’ll have ruined orgasms an entire week.”

“Fine whatever, not like I’m going to lose anyway.” Jimin squared his shoulders, almost as if promising he would be the lone survivor of another crazy bet.

Jungkook broke the tension as he threw down a pillow, raising a fist. “May the best cock win.”

“Jungkook no.” Yoongi laughed, the younger boy jumping from his spot only to wrap himself around the other man.

“Or what?” The younger teased, picking up the pillow from the floor. You watched as he swayed his hips at the doctor who only tightened his grip on the couch. “I don’t see you doing anything Hyung.”

“Jungkook.” Yoongis's voice was laced with an unspoken demand, it was always interesting and extremely hot to watch the little moments where they would fight for dominance considering you lived in a house with seven others you didn’t see it half as much as you would have liked to.

“I want Jinnie.” You called out, the older man’s attention on you within an instant, his body colliding with you as his lips devoured you as though he was starved. His hands were firm on your hips keeping you still as you tried to press against him.

“Let’s get these clothes out of the way baby girl, I want to see you.” He mumbled against you, barely waiting for a nod before pulling your shirt over your head, your shorts following Instantly.

He pulled you back towards the couch, pulling down his own pants before taking a seat on it, you climbed on top of him, aligning his cock with your entrance.

You dug your nails into his shoulders as you slid onto his cock, his length filling you up. Your cunt stretched around his bulging cock. “Fuck you’re so perfect.”

You giggled at the compliment. “Says the literal Angel.”

“Darling if you keep complimenting me like that I’m going to “

You began riding him before he could finish his sentence, he pulled you closer, kissing you as you continued riding him. “Fuck you feel so fucking good.” He groaned, his head thrown back allowing you to leave marks up his neck.

You felt a hand in your hand pulling you back, their hand tangled in your hair. You were met with a dark-eyed yoongi. “Keep riding him.”

The command was short but it only encouraged you to grind down, riding your hips in circles as Yoongi kissed you. “Open your mouth.”

You opened your mouth, Seokjin groaning as he watched Yoongi spit into your mouth.

“Come here,” Seokjin grunted, pulling you toward his mouth. You knew what he was doing, both of you kissed tasting yoongi between you.

“Hyung.” You heard taehyung call. You turned to look, watching as taehyung fell to his knees, eagerly taking Yoongis cock down his throat. Yoongis moans and curses only turned you on more, your pussy tightening around seokjins cock.

Jin tapped your leg. “Fuck get up baby. On your hands and knees.”

You moved around, climbing onto the couch on your hands and knees, arching your back as much as possible to allow the man access to you.

You bit your lip as he slid in, his cock on the larger side making you feel stretched. “Let me hear you, baby.” He whispered in your ear, his body flush against your back as he thrusts up into you.

You pushed back against him, a growl spilling from his lips. “Fuck I love you, so perfect sweetheart, so good.”

You moaned at his sudden declaration, his cock pounding into you the lewd sounds of skin slapping echoing off the walls. “Love you my jinnie, oh- oh I’m –“

“You can hold on baby, not yet.” He grunted, pulling your hair back as he straightened up, mercilessly fucking into you as deep as possible. You felt your eyes roll back, feeling drunk from the pleasure, your body slumped the energy you had to hold yourself up drained.

You lay there for a few more seconds, incoherent mumbles and pleas slipping from your mouth hands reaching back to touch him, you felt as he slipped his hand into yours. Leaning forward once more to press kisses to your spine. “I’m going to cum.”

“Don’t…don’t pull out..” you whined, “wanna be full.”

“Whatever you want princess.” He chuckles, his voice low. He thrust a few more times before he fell forward, your orgasms hitting you at the same time. You shuffled around, managing to lay on your back as he rested between your tits. “You’re so beautiful, you did so good baby I’m so proud of you.” He whispered, his hand running up and down your tight as you watched everyone else.

Taehyung had been with Yoongi, the younger grinding down on the doctor's thigh. Lazy kisses are shared between them.

You watched as Hoseok sat on the couch beside you. Turning your attention to him as he called out a soft. “Come here.” .You shuffled over to him, legs still shaky from the orgasm Seokjin gave you. “Turn around. Let me look at you.”

You turned, facing away from him yelling as he landed an unsuspecting slap to your ass cheek, reaching down to rub the spot h before he gripped your wrist, pulling you towards him. “You look so pretty with my marks all over you. The perfect little slut.”

“Ugh- Hoseok.” You groaned out as his fingers came up to play with your nipples, alternating between pulling them and flicking them between his fingers. With a particular painful pinch, he leant closer to you. His lips right by your ear. “What was that darling?”

“Master.” You whispered, your hands squeezing his thighs as his fingers continued to tease your cunt. “Fuck please sir.”

“What’s your colour?” He asked, a moment of concern flashing over his face, only disappearing when you whine a desperate “green.”

“Tell me exactly what you want.” He rasped, his free hand coming to wrap around your throat,

Hoseok stilled your hips, essentially leaving you cock warming him as taehyung grabs your jaw, guiding your lips to his cock. “You’re going to take care of him, you’re going to stay still until he cums down your throat. If you move at all I’m going to tie you up and let everyone use you as their little glory hole for the next - well - however long they want to. After all, you love having cock in you, don’t you? In fact, that may make you a little too happy. Hm?” Hoseoks voice rasped against you, hand still firm on your chin as he suddenly thrusted into you, causing you to emit half a scream.

“Yn is so pretty for us isn’t she baby boy ?” You hear Jimin's voice sweet sounding but laced with a poison that only makes you want more, if you hadn’t known him well and been overly exposed to this side of him you’d think he was just being kind, reassuring, but from the way, Jungkooks eyes were half-lidded, his head lulling to the side as jimin continued draining his cock you could tell it was anything but kind, it was downright dangerous.

You were a little shocked to see Namjoon and Seokjin across the side of the room, seokjin underneath his younger as yoongi ran a hand through his hair, the therapist pulling seokjin to allow his back to rest against his chest whilst Namjoon continued to mark the elder, a trail of beautiful bruises already forming across his skin.

Taehyung tapped your cheek, bringing your attention back to his throbbing cock. “Open baby.”

You opened your mouth, letting your jaw go slack.

Taehyungs cock was massive, you could feel it hit the back of your throat despite the fact that half of his cock was still out of your mouth, despite your eyes watering you relaxed, breathing through your nose as you took the last of him. “Fuck your mouth is so perfect, makes my cock feel so good.” He groaned, a hand reaching to caress your hair.

Hoseok shifted underneath you, his cock massaging your walls causing you to clench around him. Utter pleasure rocked through your body as you jolted on Hoseoks cock as taehyung tucked your throat. “You’re finally being useful, taking cock so well. Maybe I’ll reward you and let you cum.” You did everything you could to restrain your hands, wanting so badly to bring yourself to the edge, the dominants filthy words going straight to your pussy.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could still see jimin and Jungkook, jimin had Jungkook pinned underneath him, Jungkooks bigger frame looking so much smaller under the man as he milked his cock. Jungkook fighting underneath him from overstimulation but still taking it all. “You’re such a good boy.” Jimin had whispered, “My perfect baby boy taking whatever I give him. So perfect, think you can cum again for me?”

Jungkook let out a desperate whine, shaking his head no. “Hyun- ah, jimin please, please it’s fuck it’s too much.” He groaned, knuckles white as he clenched his fists.

“Colour baby?” Jimin asked, slowing down his strokes to brush Jungkooks hair from his eyes. “Tell Hyung.”

Jungkook jerked up, hissing as Jimins thumb ran over the slit on his tip. “G-green Hyung.”

“You look so beautiful like this, maybe I should keep you like this all too myself. Take some pretty pictures of you? Maybe I’ll come on your little cam show and remind everyone you belong to me. Make them watch as I tease your pretty cock.” Jimin squeezed around the base of Jungkooks cock, his lips morphing into a sadistic grin. “Maybe I’ll see how sensitive your balls are, I could play with them whilst I leave your cock tied up to a vibrator, if you begged enough I’d even put one inside your ass.”

“Ngh, hyu- hyung- ah- I wanna be a good boy for you.” Jungkook was beautiful, he looked ethereal with tears streaming down his face from the overwhelming pleasure jimin was delivering to him. “Feels s-so good.”

“What do you say, baby?” Jimin teased. Moving to take the youngers nipple into his mouth.

Jungkooks back arched off the couch as jimin bit down on his nipple, his hand reaching to massage the cam boy's balls. “Than- thank you jiminie.” Jimin gave his nipple one last bite before pulling off. Trailing his tongue down Jungkooks torso.

“Such a polite boy. “ jimin murmured. “I want to cum inside of you.”

“Wa-want your cock. I’ll be good pl-please I want-“ Jungkook whined. “ please.”

Jimin had met a lot of submissives, Jimin had fucked a lot of submissives but there was something about Jungkook, something about the way he whined, the way he tried so hard to keep his hands to himself, how hard he tried to do exactly what was asked of him. He was perfect. “Fuck. You’re a fucking sight to see.”

“Turn around baby boy let me prep you.” Jimin helped Jungkook move, his legs unsteady from the continuous teasing not to mention the two orgasms Jimin had already ripped from him. “Such a beautiful ass, wanna see you dressed up for me darling.” Jimin massaged Jungkooks thighs, hand edging closer to his entrance.

Jimin stepped away, earning a protesting groan from Jungkook. “Just getting lube baby. Be patient.”

Jungkooks protest silenced, looking around the room at the other house members. Each of them entwined in some way, their own pleasure being chased through various means. He looked over to you, giving you a shy smile followed by a flirty wink, his body pushing back when he felt jimin behind him once again.

You couldn’t respond to Jungkook,, taehyung still fucking your throat. Hiis thrusts becoming sloppy. “Gonna-gonna cum.” Taehyung grunted. Hand-fisting your hair becoming painful but enjoyably so.

“Did I give you permission?” You whimpered at the question, despite it being directed towards Taehyung, the man tending as to prevent himself cunning as he shook his head no. “Ask me nicely and maybe I’ll let you.”

“P-please can I cum.” He mumbled, hand still lazily caressing your hair even though he was struggling to hold back, if you weren’t dripping with arousal you may have found the action cute.

“P-please can I cum.” Hoseok mocked, laughing. “Pathetic boy. Show me how well you can cum. Show YN just how much you enjoyed using her throat.”

Taehyung didn’t need to be told twice, with no more than five thrusts he was on the brink of cumming, just before you could prepare to swallow you were being pulled back. Taehyung almost cried at the ruined orgasm. “B-but.”

“Ah, no buts baby. You got to cum, didn’t you? Wasn’t that nice of me?” The dominant teased, smirking. Taehyung couldn’t say no, he couldn’t deny that he got to cum. “Would you prefer next time I keep you on edge?”

Taehyungs eyes went wide, head shaking in a panic. “No Sir, thank you.”

“Good boy, you did so well.” Hoseok smiled at him, hand running through his hair as Tae sat down beside him on the couch. “Now to take care of you, darling. Do you want me to fuck you or are you at your limit?”

“I’m okay just, no more teasing please.” You whined, grinding down on his cock.

He laughed. “Too needy. I spoil you too much.”

“You don’t spoil me enough Sir.” You teased, rocking your hips. “Please fuck me?”

“Whatever you want brat.” Hoseok hooked his arms around yours, keeping you stable as he began to slide his weeping cock in and out of your cunt.

You let yourself be dragged around like a rag doll. His grip was definitely tight enough to bruise but you didn’t care as you pushed back onto him every time he thrusted, his cock ramming against your happy again and again making your legs fail underneath you. Hoseok supported the entering of your weight as you both came to a climax. “Gonna cum.” You mumbled, the words barely coherent, an orgasm brimming for the second time. “Please.”

“Cum over my cock.” he gave one final thrust against your gspot. His fingers massaged your clit, you weren’t a screamer, nor were you a squirter but you became one as his teeth sank into your shoulder. His cock pulsing inside of your pussy as he cum. “That’s it, just like that.” He grunted, your orgasms both coming to an end as he slowly pulled out of you. A hand under your chest stops you from falling face-first onto the floor as your legs have out. “Can you stand for me, baby?”

You shook your head no. “Not after you and seokjin fucking me.”

“Ah yes, the two biggest cocks.” He laughed, guiding you to sit on the couch. “Taehyungie could you go and get a wet cloth for YN?”

You’d almost forgotten his presence, turning to look at the man, his face utterly relaxed. “Okay.”

“You did so good today darling you were so patient, I’ll miss our scenes together.” He frowned a little, making you smile.

“Only a few more weeks, besides I’m sure jimin will let you watch whenever he and I have one.” You knew what the comment would do to him, seeing his scowl you held your hands up half-heartedly in defence. “Kidding.”

“What am I going to do with you?” He half-panted, taking the wet cloth from taehyung and bringing it to clean you up.

“There’s definitely cum on the couch.” You heard yoongi mumbling, he was sprawled out on the floor, seokjin beside him. Your face flushed at the sight of them noticing your eyes lingering on them. Between all eight of you, there wasn’t a single piece of clothing in sight. Jimin and Jungkook sat across from you, Jungkook cradled in Jimins arms, both of them seemingly somewhere else.

Taehyung was right, an orgy was a great way to spend the day.

—————

“I wanted to talk to you all about something.” Jungkook mumbled, his eyes focused on the window as though he was too afraid to meet anyone’s gaze. The attention shifted to him instantly. “I was thinking about it actually.”

Everyone had gone to shower, you had the pleasure of sharing yours with Seokjin and Taehyung. Both men insisting on taking care of you, definitely a form of repayment for the way they temporarily affected your ability to walk. The rest of the day had been spent playing board games, light kisses being shared between everyone, the touching non-stop. The atmosphere was calm so Jungkooks urgent demeanour had you worried.

“What’s wrong baby?” Jimins voice was tired, clearly, the sex knocking out any residual energy he had. “Talk to us.”

“What if we live together after here? We worked well being here together I have some savings we could pitch in and get a place together somewhere equal to where you all work. I was thinking about moving to Seoul permanently, I couldn’t be without you all. I know it would take a lot of time and wouldn’t be an easy decision I don’t know maybe this is a ridiculously childish idea, tae is here, Namjoonie Hyung is here, hobi Hyung is here, YN is here, yoongi Hyung could move we could all help him, jimin Hyung could move too it would be perfect.”

“Kook that’s… big.” Yoongi breathed, arm tightening around jimin. “I think we would all really need to talk about it. Jimin what would you think about moving?”

Jimin shrugged, hand grazing through the maknaes hair. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it I’d have to find work here but I wouldn’t be opposed. My life in Busan seems small compared to what we all have here.”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look at jobs around here, Hyung do you have any contacts here in Seoul?” Yoongi shifted to face Seokjin who was sitting with a grim across his red raw lips.

“I do, a few actually. I could pass you their contact information.”

“Hobi what do you think?” You sat up, looking at the man who had been quiet throughout the whole exchange.

“Well you all know I’m aro so I don’t see-“

His words are cut off by taehyung placing a hand across his mouth abruptly, slightly shocking the man. “If you say something like “I don’t see why you’d want me there” I will make sure no one has sex with you for the rest of the time here. You are just as much a part of us as Namjoon Hyung or Yoongi Hyung. Whether it’s romantic or not you have just as much of an invitation as everyone else here does. This is your choice too.”

“Oh.” The dominant breathed, a rand running over his face as though to refresh himself, he sat for a few minutes eyes filtering from one body to the next before he smiled, nodding. “I wouldn’t mind it, besides having roommates would be kind of fun.”

“YN?” Taehyung called tentatively, reaching to wrap your hand in his. “What do you think pretty?”

You blushed at the unfamiliar pet name, your cheeks a light hue of red. “I want you all, maybe I’m spoiled but if we could all be together in one house like this for as long as we stay together I’d love that. It would be just like this without the cameras.”

“So what does this mean? Are we officially in a relationship and planning to move in?”

You show a look to Hoseok who seemed to frown slightly at the mention of being in a relationship. “How about we don’t call it that.”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows pinched.

You shook your head laughing. “Let’s not call it a relationship, we all have our own dynamics with each other but we are all entwined like some old tree with a thousand branches. I think we would need a week of planning to officially label everything between each and every one of us so why don’t we call it something else? Something inclusive.”

“I think that sounds better, we aren’t just a relationship, we also have Hoseok-ah to consider.” Seokjin spoke up, his words were always filled with care for those around him whilst simultaneously being filled with knowledge and understanding.

“What about affinity? We could say we are in an affinity.” Yoongi supplied, some smiles being traded across the room.

“Why affinity?” Jungkook questioned, head resting against Jimin's shoulder.

Jimin kisses his hair. His hand linking their fingers as he began to explain. “Affinity has a beautiful definition, it is a word used to say you have a deep understanding of someone, a similarity and a kinship to them. It’s basically the description of a bond without labelling it as such.”

“I like that.” He breathed, eyes closing before opening them again as though he has remembered something important. “You’re all mine though.”

“Even you my hobi Hyung.” He giggled, reaching a foot out to touch the other's leg.

“Move your weird toes from me right now.” He shouted, arms waving as Jungkook sunk down further, toes reaching across as far as he could.

“What’s the matter Hyung it’s just feet. I pegged you as a foot kink man.” Jimin giggled, everyone, pausing at the honorific before turning back to a mildly disturbed Hoseok.

“Shut up jimin, Jungkook move if you want to keep your toes.”

“Jin Hyung where is your knife.” He shouted, tramping towards the kitchen before yoongi could grab his waist, pulling him onto the pile of pillows beside him. “Calm down there sunshine let’s not decapitate anyone’s toes today.”

Hoseok shot him a glare as if to say he would be next if he didn’t stop talking. Yoongi laughed, muffling it with a cough. “Well then, affinity it is.”

“I love you all so much.” You brushed away the tears dampening your cheek, happiness overwhelming you. A few “I love yous.” Resounded back followed by a few kisses shared between different bodies. Hoseok looking content but also out of place. You shuffled closer to him as he removed himself from between Seokjin and Yoongi. You reached out your hand, just enough for him to wrap his little finger around yours and with that you spoke a silent promise.

You’d do whatever you could to keep them all happy.

You were more than content watching them break off into their own smaller conversations as you all set up for the night in the makeshift bed. Thankful for jimins suggestion to recreate the bed from the night before. You didn’t know how long you’d watched them for but your eyes became droopy, their voices guiding you into a blissful sleep.

Jimin and Jungkook watched you drift off, arms and legs a tangled heap. “How was it today baby?” Jimin turned to Jungkook, his fingers drawing patterns on the cam Boys thigh.

The younger sat, contemplating the entirety “Good, was a lot but good.”

“That makes me happy to hear, you were really serious about wanting us all weren’t you bun?” Jimin smiled, his eyes bright.

Jungkook blushed, nodding. “I just really love you all. I still want to get to know everyone. Even you Hyung.”

“What if you tell me something about you and I’ll tell you something about me? We can start learning right now.” Jimin offered, earning a pleased look from Jungkook.

“I really like toe socks,” Jungkook responded wholeheartedly, as though it was his biggest secret. Jimin couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, lightly pushing the younger.

“THAT’S your thing? I might just have to call it all off now, that’s definitely a deal breaker.” Jimin loved to tease, especially when it made the man he had begun to love smile like that. “They are actually good for you. I would say my thing is” he paused, wanting to give something equal to Jungkooks revelation. “If I ever have a bad day, I always drink hot chocolate.”

“If you ever seem sad I’ll make you one, I make good hot chocolates.” Jungkook smiled storing the fact away for when it was most necessary. “One more?” He raised an eyebrow, only continuing to talk once jimin has nodded. “I love being a cam boy but I also want to do more, something mentally.” Jungkook confessed. Jimin could understand that.

“I love being a porn star but I want to find what else there is in the world, I want to grow.” He had the same feeling, wanting to do something that didn’t require his body, not that he didn’t enjoy his work and held no embarrassment over it, in fact, he was fiercely proud but he always wanted to find what else in the world would be good for him.

“Maybe we can find things together?” Jungkook mumbled, hand reaching up to play with Jimins hair.

“I’d like that.” Jimin smiled, leaning down to break the space between them to give the younger a kiss, relishing in the small whimper Jungkook let out when he bit down on his lip. “Let’s get sleep baby boy.”

“Goodnight Hyung.”

“Goodnight jungkookie.”

——

Yoongi hated being woke up, Yoongi hated being waken up at 3 am, Yoongi hated being waken up by 3 am by a half-naked Jimin, although that may have been more so because of the fact he was far too tired to fully appreciate the youngers body.

“What jimin,” Yoongi grumbled, burying his head into another pillow.

He could have used that said pillow to hit the other when he grabbed his arm pulling him away from the comforts of the makeshift floor bed. “I need to talk to you Hyung.”

“Can't it wait until the morning?” Yoongi sighed, still following the dominant hand in hand.

“Nope.” Jimin popped his lips, the sound definitely would have gone straight to yoongis dick if he wasn’t half asleep.

Once they were both safely inside Yoongi's bedroom jimin pulled him to sit on the bed. “Are you really thinking about moving?”

Yoongi shrugged. “I don’t see why not, I love Daegu but I love being with you all too.”

“Hyung,” Jimin called out, his hand reaching to touch Yoongis fingers before retreating. “You’re more reserved, not reserved but you, you show your love differently and it’s, I guess sometimes I feel lonely in that.”

“You aren’t lonely jimin-ah we are all here for you. If there’s something you need to talk about we will all listen.” Yoongi reassured him, his own hand edging closer to the other. “Talk to Hyung.”

Jimin stirred for a moment, he liked that. Weirdly, he liked how that felt. “I wouldn’t have much in Seoul. All my clients are around Busan. What if this doesn’t work outside of here and I take that step and it falls apart?”

Yoongi sat for a moment, breath heavy. “We can’t tell the future but sometimes things have to start with a simple step. You don’t lose things by loving you lose things by not taking risks. Getting into the prom industry definitely wasn’t easy right?” Yoongi paused giving Jimin a chance to respond, which he did with a nod. “That’s my point, you took a chance and it worked out well for you. If you find there’s something you want to do more then you should go for that too. We don’t ever grow by limiting ourselves to one thing forever, taking risks is a part of life, it’s a part of humans. We will fail and succeed but every attempt is worth it.”

Jimin didn’t realise just how much he needed to hear that, just how much the words would hit him where he was most needing it but it did, the porn industry allowed you to meet tons of people, people you would get intimate with and people you wouldn’t but very rarely was there any personal connection. He hadn’t realised how lonely he become until he was surrounded by people who cared for him, knew him, wanted him. Not just for a scene or a chance at getting known in the community but wanted him for him.

Before Yoongi could process the situation Jimin was lunging forward, pulling him into a hug. A small sob spilt from his lips as he whispered “Thank you Hyung.”

Yoongi had never heard Jimin cry, he had never had to hug him like this. He pulled the younger away, wiping his tears from his soft cheeks. Yoongi didn’t know jimin deeply but he loved him, he loved him the way he loved seokjin or the way he loved YN. Yoongi loved jimin enough to bring his hand to cup his face, pulling him closer to him. Jimin whined lightly as yoongi kissed him with all the energy he could muster. “Let Hyung take care of you.”

“Okay. Hyung can take care of me.” Jimin rasped, falling back into the bed, his elder there to catch him. Yoongi would always be there to catch Jimin, to catch all of them.

This was his family.

[chubs-deuce]

Ok I just watched whole hazbin hotel show and I know what you mean about Charlie and Vaggie relationship

their have cute songs together but Vaggie to me personality wise hasn’t got that much of a personality compared to the others characters ?

I think the last 2 episodes she had more of a personality 🤷‍♀️ (this isn’t a anti post , I feel like she has a lot of potential to flash her character out more hopefully in season 2)

personally I prefer Charlie and Alastor cause I feel like theirs something there, it’s interesting and it has a lot of potential

if they wanted me to root for Vaggie and Charlie I feel like they should be friends at first and then we see them slowly falling in love , that’s my opinion of course XD

Agreed 100%

To be fair I don't think charlastor is inherently better in any way, since I recognize that they don't actually have much of a leg to stand on in canon, but they still intrigue me a lot more conceptually in fan-content, in ways that I've outlined in this post already so I won't repeat myself here lol.

Charlie and Vaggie are sweet, unproblematic, thoroughly wholesome and that is a dynamic that can not only absolutely work but also be very appealing!

Good domestic fluff is my bread and butter, but it just doesn't really hit the same when I'm not really given much of a reason to care for the pairing beyond the narrative going "look they hold hands and use pet names, isn't that cute?"

So I agree that having their "falling in love" stage be explored more would've helped a lot in elevating how and why they love each other, though it wouldn't even have been necessary, established relationships in fiction can work really well even without that if done right.

The way they're shown to first meet has SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be a great story bit to explore (I might try and do that in writing some time ngl), with Vaggie just coming from this intense of a betrayal, likely having her whole worldview usurped and now, after being taught all her life that demons are worthless scum, being shown unconditional kindness and offered a helping hand from one... There's a lot for her here to process!

Like I really feel like her repeatedly underlined trust issues could've so easily led into a sweet narrative of how meeting Charlie taught her to trust in others again, but her "learning to trust others" path was already explained with brothers-in-arms style bonding on the battle field and the rest was just kinda played off as a love at first sight thing. It had potential! It was right there! And yet!!! [frustrated groan]

I get they were probably trying to aim for combining those two points and had very little time to do so properly, but it imo just missed the mark by a painful amount...

It doesn't help that Vaggie also generally fell kinda flat as a character for most of the show, in part because she's often forced to share the spotlight and has very little focus put on her as an individual.

I really hope they do her better in the next season either way :')

I haven't given up on chaggie yet, but only time will tell if that changes.

[shifuto]

come here for a second while I psychoanalyze the Sargasso episodes

this is mostly about Astral, but there will be things about Vector and Yuma too (screenshots from episodes 96 to 98)

Vector was terrible, but he was right

if you don't think too deeply about it, you might miss this whole macabre undertone in Astral's very existence

so.. we don't get to know Astral and Yuma are the same person until the last episodes. Their Zexal morph is a very good hint though!

some points to take into consideration regarding them:

Yuma and Astral's relationship is borderline co-dependent (even more so on Yuma's side, considering his age and attachment style);

Astral was shoved on Earth and forced to stay by his side, risking his own life to recover the Numbers. Yuma's dad was the one who set that in motion by modifying Astral's "programming" and giving Yuma the Emperor's Key - that Astral himself gave Kazuma - and the Key set Astral "free" but causing his amnesia;

the fact that they have been one person is not the problem. Now that they are separated, they have lives of their own. Is it "fair" or "right" to mingle those lives, feelings and experiences into a sole unit again though? What happens with their own singular existences?

2 halves of 1 whole means they're both "incomplete"...... or are they?

Astral never had any will of his own. All this time, he's been bound by his mission. I don't think he's "emotionless" because he's from Astral World (plenty of people there as emotional as humans), it's probably because he is a weapon

he learned a lot of typically "positive" emotions through living around humans - more indirectly, by observing and watching in general; and also directly, thanks to Yuma, his friends and family - and, although, he had also experienced typically "negative" emotions, those were quickly shutdown, resolved or reframed

what Vector did, when he planted those seeds of discord, was to get Astral to face those "negative" emotions without any immediate way to diffuse them

what happens when an individual that is supposed to remain pure and impartial, keeping his feelings in check and using neutrality as much as possible, is driven into an emotional corner? What happens when this individual is pushed to experience conflict - and a very harsh one at that - when he's never had the tools or expertise to deal with it, since he was never really allowed to feel it?

Vector calls for Astral's "free will" knowing he had little to none at that point

his manipulation succeeded because, as Astral was the pillar of support in his relationship with Yuma, and Yuma was unstable with the whole betrayal drama - which, ironically, he also did to Astral, although it was more of a "lie by omission" - Astral did not have anyone close enough (other than Yuma) to support him, and Yuma was now a "liar"

Astral was alone, what a mess!

yes, Astral could have simply brushed it aside and thought about it rationally like he always does, conflict resolution is one of his specialties after all, and it works wonderfully when you're able to put emotions aside and use solely logic

in the end of the day, he would understand why Yuma did that, he would take Yuma's point of view, personality and own issues into account, and he would forgive him - as he did anyway!

he would have not looked into himself though so... Vector asking those questions was maleficent in essence, due to his intentions, but it also served to make Astral face his feelings

and Astral breaks, of course he does

...

one thing that really bothers me now, going through these scenes again with a different mind and thoughts, is how they handled Astral after: everything went "back to normal" and when something similar would happen again - Astral imbued with Number 96's Chaos that other time - Astral went the self-sacrifice route (probably part of his "programming", if I were to guess) as he always have done. Little to no regards to his own self

again and again and again he just pushes himself into neutrality and completing a task - hell, he can't even feel anything that isn't the most wholesome and healthy emotions without that throwing him for a loop, with a risk of him going berserk again, who even knows?

also greatly dislike how feelings of anger, being betrayed, sadness and hurt, are painted as "evil", literally

that is the whole premise of Chaos as the "enemy" after all: while Astral World is "pure" with only "acceptable" emotions, Barian World accepts the full scope, focusing on the sadness, the hurt and the anger.. understandably so

this scene is fantastic and really hits the nail on the head:

yes, Astral, Yuma did something terrible

many other terrible things too

you didn't get angry, how could you? After all, Yuma didn't mean it!

there we go: Vector played him like a fiddle

he knew exactly where to go and what buttons to push - for both Yuma and Astral - and he absolutely nailed it

even though it was the Barian power who caused them to split and Astral to lose control. That power is Chaos, it's all these "negative" emotions Astral literally cannot feel fully because they are fatal to him

what's really interesting though? This is his own inner voice:

it was the first time we heard Astral talk to himself like that - notice how deeper it sounds, much like Number's 96 voice (96 would be Astral's Chaos counterpart, I guess)

and then finally...

oh, now this is fun

I can see 2 things here:

Astral wants to become whole and/or

this is pure power lust (since he is stronger as Zexal)

this scene with Yuma bothers me a little but I get it: they're the same guy and Astral is an alien so it makes sense that Yuma would be able to "access" his heart, now... what he does, although it's a very "Yuma thing", also gets on my nerves but we'll get there when we get there...!

his own words - with a nudge from Vector, of course - man, this was so satisfying to see! Astral recognizing his own feelings, his own pain, not having to immediately make peace with it and just...... feeling these emotions

that's growth, baby!

I also love how he experienced splitting (black and white thinking): can't feel bad emotions at all -> can only feel bad emotions. And hyperbole, over-generalizing: "I can't believe in you anymore."

goodness, I love the immediate change in his tone when Yuma calls out to him: he's back using his soft monotone voice, tinged with a bit of curiosity

and he slowly...

... descent into madness...

... as he speaks about his feelings. I dare to say this was the most expressive Astral has ever been (and it's a shame we don't get to see such huge variety in his facial and body expressions for the rest of the show)

Astral goes back and forth in his exchange with Yuma here: a soft tone when answering directly to Yuma's feelings, just to be swept away by his own frenzy again

it's a really lovely contrast, and I wonder if it was on purpose? Even when lost within himself, he still directs gentleness towards Yuma; even when his very words bring Yuma to tears, he does it kindly.. sort of

we love to see it! And it was power lust after all

now.. let's talk about Yuma a bit, shall we?

Yuma is stubborn

that's kind of.. his whole gimmick with his "kattobingu" and everything. He will get what he wants with the power of friendship and being obstinate to the point of annoying. Unsurprisingly, it does work well for him! He managed to change and befriend, virtually, all characters he have met who showed any kind of animosity towards him or someone else

the flip-side is that he will not take "no" for an answer, will he? Like how he managed to break Ryoga in, by being extremely persistent on wanting to be friends...

... or when he jumped off a window to get Astral to stop

he will see the "good" in everyone and he will push his ideals and kindheartedness with no regards for the other person's wishes. It's really bothersome because it's genuine

too much of "too good" can be very toxic though and, ironically, Astral's predicament is good proof of that. But how can he blame Yuma? How can anyone blame him at all?

he did what was "right" in his heart and had no ill-intent. His naive nature makes him extremely easy to manipulate and he can be driven into corners having to make hard choices he will not be able to make (such as which friends will he be able to save? So many of his foes exploited this very weakness of his)

...

at last, forgiveness:

... and we're back to the "good" X "evil" dichotomy...

this is precisely why Astral World is dying (but they will only realize that later in the show), and why the Barians are trying so hard to save their own world: the "villains" are trying to survive, and the "heroes" are imposing their own wishes over everyone else - how ironic, considering the protagonist and main "hero" is famous for doing exactly that aha!

so the lesson to be learned after all this:

yes, that's the point!

this is a good thing, actually. Astral is capable of experiencing emotions, all of them! He grew and he became stronger than before, this is why they managed to evolve their Zexal form

to me, this was a massive step in completely "separating" Astral's existence from Yuma's, meaning: Astral existing as his own person

unfortunately, the show did not explore that development much further, and like I said earlier, everything went "back to normal" in a way or another

I guess.. uhh... it was probably good that Astral went back to Astral World in the end, after all. He was in his own world, not bound by Yuma or the Emperor's Key anymore, and he was living his own life independently

and an addendum: while Zexal 1st was more alike Yuma, Zexal 2nd was more alike Astral! Probably because the scales were tipping to his side more, due to everything that has happened. I think it's interesting and makes me wonder how Astral would look like as a "human" (2nd looks close enough to me)

also big shoutouts to Mizael for hating Vector's gut. Me too, mate, me too LMAO

Vector is probably the most intelligent character in this whole show, he was written brilliantly and the fact that he doubles down and keep on "betraying" people, just makes him so much more interesting

he is vicious and remorseless, and these are some of the things that make him such a wonderful villain. You really get to see him and his fiendish mind shine in these episodes

...

if you read until here, congratulations! You are very cool yay <3

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Lighthouse [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@happyheidi) Center (@agentdilfhotchner) Right (@theindividualchef)

Prompt: Hotch notices some distressing signs from the reader when he bumps into them at the grocery store. He doesn’t say anything, but something tells him that the reader isn’t well. He goes to their job and finds them just in time. Aka, when Aaron and the Non-BAU!reader get a chance to heal together. 

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: hurt/angst/comfort

Word Count: 8.9K

Content Warnings: Grief and loss, single fatherhood [Aaron],  depression [Hotch and Reader], brief mention of kidnappings [unsub], domestic violence (fights, implied beating, yelling, chocking, kicking hitting, degrading comments (reader)], hospitals, broken bones. If I missed any please let me know. 

A/N: Good evening, loves! He’s the first Aaron fic of 2024! It’s a bit dark but I tried to handle the subject matter with care. This idea came from @imagining-in-the-margins's amazing January/February Challenge Prompt list: “Character escapes an abusive relationship and the recovery is harder than they thought.” Given that Aaron went through abuse himself and has healed from many things, I wanted to think about how he would try and help someone else going through it too. I just love it when Hotch gets protective and puts someone in their place. I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it. If you do, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re all having a good week! Love Levi - ❤️

P.S. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or any kind of abuse, there are resources out there. Please speak to a loved one or trusted individual. If you need help you can contact The National Dometic Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or you can visit their website for resources. Please be safe. 

List wil all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_l/n_ = your last name 

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color 

_y/p_ = your partners 

_y/p/n_ = your partner’s name (as the partner is a real jerk, put some terrible person’s name here) 

_y/s/hw_ = your style of handwriting (cursive, loopy, blocky, etc.) 

_y/d/a_ = your dominant arm

_y/e/p_ = your ex-partner 

Hotch was walking down the pharmacy aisle of the grocery store. He was looking for the children’s nausea medicine. He’d been looking for twenty minutes. Aaron wondered if they kept it in some other part of the store. Jack’s tummy ache still hadn’t gone away since the night before, and he considered if he should take Jack to his pediatrician. The issue was, that it was Saturday and the doctor's office was closed. Aaron knew he could be paranoid and that Jack probably just had a stomach bug, but he worried. He always worried about his son. Since Haley’s passing, Jack took up a majority of his free time and all of his thoughts when he wasn’t on a case. Adjusting to the grief and loneliness had been hard. Harder than he’d ever imagined, but time, as the saying went, heals all wounds. Even those unseen. Emotional wounds that needed sutures and tender care long after they’d healed. It wasn’t perfect or easy juggling being a single dad and work. It had taken a long time to figure out. But he’d leaned on people, and after a while, he started to feel like a version of himself again. One that still mourned the loss, and regretted his choices, but he was getting better.  Jack was too. Except, this Friday Jack went to a party at a friend's house and caught some illness that was going around. Aaron was so busy trying to find the medicine that he didn’t see that he was about to bump into someone. When the two collided, _y/n_ flinched, but composed herself quickly. So quickly that the familiar man didn’t notice it. They both said in unison, “Sorry.” Aaron straightened and _y/n_ got off of her toes. The pair looked at each other and after a beat, realized they knew each other, at least a little bit. It took a moment for _y/n_ to say, “Oh, cold brew with a shot of espresso on the side. Aaron, right?” For _y/n_, most people she interacted with were associated with some sort of coffee or tea order. _y/n_ was surprised with herself that she’d remembered the tall man’s name. She’d never seen him dressed so casually before. He was just wearing jeans and a dark green t-shirt that accentuated the muscles of his toned torso. In the mornings at six a.m., that man that she thought was called Aaron, only wore a suit and tie. The kind that was tailored just for his tall frame. The expensive material didn’t reveal as much as this outfit did. Even so, he was very attractive. Often, seeing him at the counter was the highlight of _y/n_’s morning. _y/n_ knew that sounded pathetic, but hell the guy actually smiled at her before the sun was up, and he always tipped. Being a barista wasn’t the most exciting job, but at least _y/n_ got to see him on and off during the work week. 

Aaron was desperately wracking his brains for the name of the woman who had memorized not only his coffee order but his name as well. Why couldn’t he remember it? Aaron could picture her name tag with the gold lettering embossed on the enamel pin, but the name was out of focus. Admitting defeat, he replied, “That’s me. And you are?” _y/n_ looked at Aaron and replied, “_y/n_, _l/n_.” She wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t remember her name. No one remembered her name. _y/p_ wouldn’t let her get close enough to anyone to need to remember her at all. _y/n_ told herself internally, “I’m used to it. It doesn’t hurt if you don’t care.” As much as _y/n_ wanted to believe that lie, she was hurting. Her body ached under her dark long-sleeved shirt. She hadn’t meant to make a snarky quip back at _y/p_ last night, but the remark had come unbridled, and she’d paid for it dearly. _y/n_ snapped back to the present as her most irregular, regular customer asked, “Were you trying to reach something on that top shelf? Can I grab it for you, _y/n_?” Something about the way he said her name, had _y/n_ look at him like she’d never seen Aaron before. Like she’d never seen a man before. Not one that oozed confidence even when he was just standing in a grocery store aisle. _y/n_ knew that _y/p_ would never live up to that standard, as hard as they tried, and as long as they lived. _y/n_ flinched at the very idea of the thought. The things _y/p_ would do to her if she ever thought or dared speak something like that in their partner’s presence. Aaron noticed the reflexive jerk of _y/n_’s body like she’d been hit by an invisible hand. He furrowed his brow and took a small step back. “_y/n_, are you alright?” Aaron knew that look and understood the flinching away from things. He’d done enough of it in his childhood. Suddenly, he was concerned about the woman that he saw when he was on his early morning caffeine runs. Hotch felt ashamed that he’d never paid _y/n_  much attention. However, he was paying attention now, as _y/n_ fixed her face back to normal. Back to a friendly smile that hid any physical or mental pain she might be in. _y/n_ didn’t notice Aaron profile her. Instead, she cleared her throat and said, “Yeah, um, could you grab three of those instant ice packs? The cheapest brand on the left?” Hotch nodded and didn’t even need to reach very high to grab the aforementioned items _y/n_ had requested. _y/n_ held out her basket, and he dropped them into the container. Aaron noticed but didn’t comment on the odd assortment of painkillers, gauze packs, and a single pregnancy test on the far right side of the basket. Aaron moved his eyes up quickly to not look like he was prying into her personal life. Sometimes being a profiler had its downsides, and situations where he could see things that didn’t look good were one of them. It’s not like he could just say, “Hey, _y/n_, why do you need those ice packs,” or “Hey. _y/n_ if you lifted your shirt sleeves what would I see?” He wasn’t a mandatory reporter. He wasn’t a professor, or a nurse, or a school counselor. He just had a brain that let him see things that others didn’t. Things that people like _y/n_ probably didn’t want him to see. Then again, he could be reading into the woman’s grocery choices a bit too much. He didn’t know her, at least not more than her name, and she worked at his favorite coffee shop that was closest to the Quanitco Field Office. He liked it because, on a good morning, it took him less than ten minutes to get from the coffee shop to work. 

_y/n_ looked at cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso. He seemed to have gone somewhere else in his brain. She didn’t plan on standing there forever, and had to say, “Well thanks, Aaron. I’ll see you…” she hesitated and finished the sentence with, “...when I see you.” _y/n_ gave the man a little wave and walked toward the self-checkout. Hotch replied, “See you Monday, _y/n_.” It was an odd interaction, to say the least. Aaron realized he’d said, “See you Monday” like a man who worked in a bank, or finance, or some mundane job that let him keep a regular schedule, when he had the opposite of that job. He could be called into the office that moment, and he’d go because that’s what he’d signed up for. Aaron’s phone buzzing made him fish it out of his back pocket and lose his current train of thought. The text was from Jess asking if he was headed back yet. He quickly replied, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just picking up the medicine now.” Hotch put his phone away and scanned the kid's medicine section once more. At the end of the row, he found what he was looking for. The child-friendly gummies, he hoped, would allow Jack to relax. Aaron and his son had stayed up most of the night as Jack threw up once an hour or so. Hotch felt the tiredness of the night, and his concern for Jack deep down. Those thoughts had him forget, at the moment, the worry he had for _y/n_. As Aaron was texting and recounting last night, _y/n_ was quickly scanning her items and placing them in a _y/f/c_ reusable bag. Once the receipt was spat out of the machine, she took it, crumpled it, and tossed it in the trash by the front door. If there was one thing _y/n_ was grateful for, it was the self-checkout. There wasn’t anyone there to judge you on what you bought, unless it was alcohol, and it was quiet and quick. She saw no one, and no one saw her. Except, today had been different because she had been seen. That was a rarity. Even if it had only been a minute-long conversation with Aaron. He was a customer who was gone for days in a row with no apparent rhyme or reason, yet always came back. Always at six, and always in a suit. He was part of the group that she called, before the morning rush. That’s probably why she remembered him so well. He was distinct and unique and by far the hottest guy who graced the crowd from six a.m. to seven a.m. After seven the people came like a mob and names, orders, and faces all blurred together until the mid-afternoon lull. As _y/n_ sat in her car thinking, she realized that she didn’t have time to daydream. Especially not about a guy. She looked at the clock in her car and realized that she’d spent more time in her thoughts than she’d anticipated. “Shit” _y/n_ muttered to herself, realizing that if she drove fast, she’d have just enough time to ice the worst of her bruises and discard the ice packs in the dumpster outside her apartment before _y/p_ came home from work to notice them. Given the time crunch, _y/n_ started the engine and whisked her car out of the parking lot as safely, and quickly as she could manage. Any thoughts of Aaron were temporarily replaced with thoughts of getting to ease the aches in her body for a few minutes before another fight inevitably broke out when _y/p_ got home from work. 

As it turned out, Hotch didn’t show up to the coffee shop on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, and on Thursday it was another no show, _y/n_ really started wondering what the man did for work. She first thought was a lawyer. He looked the part with his clothes and his stern expression. There were plenty of law offices around the coffee shop, but she never saw him go into any of those buildings after he’d picked up his order from the counter. After he’d told her, “Have a good day,” and then walked out the door with long confidant strides while the bell rang. She considered the possibility of banking or finance, but from what _y/n_ knew, both of those jobs must require consistent hours in an office somewhere. But cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso didn’t seem to keep any type of schedule, and he didn’t seem to be the type that worked in an office. Plus, all the bankers and finance bros she served every morning seemed glum and depressed. Aaron was intense, but he didn’t seem depressed. At least not anymore. The first time he’d come into the coffee shop she’d noticed him because he was new and it was early. He was the first customer of the day, and _y/n_ hadn’t even pulled the cold brew mix out of the fridge when he ordered one to go. As she’d explained that It would be a few minutes,  and the tall man just nodded and said, “It’s fine. I can wait.” The man’s low voice sounded deeply sad. Like he was already dead and buried. It made _y/n_ look at him fully. He had a handsome face, all jaw, and dark hooded eyes. He looked like he sounded, far away. Internally _y/n_ wondered, “Is he going through something? Has this dude slept in the last month?” Both looked true from his slightly disheveled appearance and deep bags under his eyes. At this point, _y/n_ was happily in love with a person that she’d never guessed would lay a finger on her. A person who didn’t raise their voice, threaten them, cheat, or humiliate her in public. No. she was newly in love and everything was perfect. In fact, her partner had just agreed to move in with her last night. But the man in front of her, who’d said his name was Aaron, didn’t look any like she felt. _y/n_ wanted to ask him if he was okay, but it didn’t feel right. He was just a new customer and by now a small queue was forming behind him. So instead, she’d pulled a shot of espresso for him while he waited for his cold brew.  

When Aaron heard his name, he walked over to the counter. Unless he was very behind on the coffee scene he didn’t think the small cup he was being handed was his. _y/n_ saw the look of confusion on his face, and she quickly explained, “Pulled you a shot on the house for making you wait. Hope it will tide you over.” Hotch left something in him that could be gratitude, and he murmured, “Thanks,” as he stepped back with the cup in his hands. It was the kindest thing _y/n_ could think to do for him while she took the next few orders and then started getting out the drinks including Aaron’s. Hotch had found the coffee spot because he had driven past it countless times since living in D.C. and commuting to Virginia. It had caught his eye early on because it seemed to be the only coffee place open that early. It had finally drawn him in when he wasn’t sure if he could live past the grief of losing Haley. Jack kept him going and that was enough, but he could admit he was struggling. He’d decided that doing something different, anything different, might do something for him. He wasn’t sure he could keep doing what he had been doing for the last two months. Even though he wasn’t much of an espresso person, he drank the free shot because it was nice of the barista to give it to him. Shortly after, he was given his cold brew, and he drove toward the office like he normally did. Not much changed for him in the day, except the addition of a lot of caffeine made his body feel like he was buzzing until noon. The sensation wasn’t unwelcome, at least it gave him something else to think about apart from loss. Aaron came back the next day and, just because, _y/n_ gave him another free shot of espresso. After a while, he started paying for the espresso, and as the months passed, he seemed to get better and _y/n_’s life got worse and worse and worse. _y/p_ had shown his full colors, and Aaron had worked on healing while  _y/n_ began hurting. Their paths seemed to be like those of ships in the night. Their lights were never bright enough for the other to fully notice. That was until Friday. 

Aaron had come back from a case in Arizona. It wasn’t the worst, It had been a stalker who kidnapped women who looked like the unsub’s mother due to abandonment issues. When the victims didn’t agree to play the part, the unsub wanted, they were replaced. Aaron moved into Dusk til Dawn like he always did. The bell rang as the door opened and he stood in the short line to get to the counter. He had almost forgotten about his interaction with _y/n_ at the store a little over a week ago. Jack had quickly recovered and then the case came, and time just went on like it always did,  but as he caught _y/n_’s eye, he remembered. Not only did he remember her name now, but he remembered what he’d suspected she might be going through. When he got to the counter, she asked, “The usual?” Aaron nodded as he pulled out his card. He looked over at _y/n’s hands as she wrote his name on the two cups in _y/s/hw_. He noticed the slight bruising and scratches on her knuckles. The signs that something might have happened to her were minimal, but he caught them. Aaron was about to comment something, but as he put his card back in his wallet, _y/n_’s demeanor changed in an instant. The small smile and wide eyes she gave him whenever he came in disappeared. Hotch could almost feel the person behind him shuffle on heavy feet. Hotch stopped himself from looking behind him where _y/n_’s eyes were trained. _y/n_ barely murmured, “You’re order will be out in a second.” Aaron stepped a few feet back and listened from a spot far enough away that it didn’t seem like he was snooping, but also close enough to be able to listen in on the conversation happening at the counter. He crossed his hands over his chest. He could feel the slick material of his grey suit under his arms. He heard the person in front of the register say, “Hey. Good morning, sweetheart.” Hotch looked at _y/n_’s face. It was half reverence, half fear as she replied, “Morning. What are you doing here, _y/p/n_?” In a voice laced with love but a hint of bile _y/p_ said, “Can’t a person see their girlfriend in the morning? Plus I’m in desperate need of a coffee. Make it half soy, half oat milk latte with frothed milk, vanilla, and two pumps of sugar-free syrup. And a shot on the side.” _y/n_’s partner sounded more like an order than a command. Like shouting at a caged dog. _y/n_ knew why he needed coffee. He’d broken her carafe last night throwing it at her head. He’d accused her of cheating again because a friend from high school had checked in on her. 

_y/n_ temporarily forgot all the other orders before _y/p_’s, and with a hurried, jerky movements. tried to make _y/p_’s order. If _y/p_ ever showed up to work, it meant she’d fucked up big time. Done something so big or bad that they had to come and see her before their work started, just to let her know that she was going to get it later. It was a promise. What she’d gone wrong since last night’s accusation and makeup session, _y/n_ wasn’t sure, but there was always something. y/n_ wasn’t paying attention to anything, and as she tried to steam the milk, she accidentally burned herself on the steamer. After a second, the pain circuits in her brain fired and she felt the burn, dropping the metal container holding the hot milk. The metal made a clanking sound on the floor, and a few patrons looked over at her. _y/n_ dipped behind the counter before anyone could notice the soft sob that left her. It was a cry of pain and fear. _y/n_ took the towel from her apron and wiped the floor first. She then fixed her face, got up, placed the dirty metal container in the sink, and remade the drink and espresso shot. It took her about twice as long as normal, but her hand was letting out red hot pulses every second or so. She wasn’t in the right head space to be making drinks at the moment. When the coffees were done, she moved back to the checkout where _y/p_ had firmly planted themself. In a sickeningly patronizing tone, they said, “Now that wasn’t that hard, was it _y/n_? God you always were a clutz. Anyhow, see you tonight, love.” _y/n_ raised a hand and said, “Tonight,” with a forced smile. Aaron watched as _y/p_ took one tiny swipe of her hand to rub under her eyes. The tears were too faint for him to see. _y/n_ then moved back to the cups that had piled up behind who Aaron assumed was her partner. A person who had just spoken to her in such a condescending and humiliating manner. _y/n_’s odd assortment of things at the store, the marks on her hands, and now this interaction only highlighted what Hotch assumptioned about _y/n_. When she eventually called his name for pick up, he approached the counter with care. Aaron grabbed his two cups and after _y/n_ said her normal, “Have a good day,” in a tight tone, he couldn’t help himself but say, “_y/n_ can I see your hand?” _y/n_ froze. She looked over at Aaron and pulled her injured hand to her chest with the other. Softly she replied, “It really doesn’t hurt.” Hotch could still see some of the red skin that looked painful. In the kindest tone he had, Aaron said, “It doesn’t look good, _y/n_. Do you have a first aid kit around here somewhere?” Hotch scanned behind the counter to see if there was a red box holding medical supplies nearby. _y/n_ hadn’t expected anyone to notice her hand. She especially didn’t expect it from Aaron. Without really thinking, she said, “There’s one in the staff room.” “Would you grab it for me?” Aaron asked. Much like the first time _y/n_ met Aaron, the tone of his voice had her look at him. The dark-eyed man looked concerned. It didn’t make sense. Neither did his tone. It came off as a caring suggestion. Something she hadn’t heard in a long time. _y/n_ was used to apathetic orders from her boss, Lisa, and _y/p_ disappointment in her everything. But care? She hadn’t heard or felt it in years. Aaron’s comment alone had her disoriented. To catch a moment to get back into balance, _y/n_ moved to the back room and took the first aid kit out of the cabinet. _y/n_ swallowed back whatever emotions were trying to force their way out before she stepped back into the main room. 

_y/n_ set the red box on the counter. Aaron held out his hand for her hurt one, and to his surprise, she placed it in his large palm. After a moment of looking at the burn. It didn’t seem too bad, maybe a grade-two burn at worst. After his assessment, Hotch said, “You should run that under a cool tap for a minute. I’ll see if there’s some gauze in here to cover it up. As Hotch heard the water run and rifled through the first aid kit. He pulled out a large bandband-aid a generic antiseptic cream. _y/n_ returned in a moment, drying her hands. _y/n_ didn’t know how to react to this kindness and said, “Sorry I don’t mean to hold you up. You’re always so punctual. You’ve got to be late to wherever you go at this point.” She was giving him a way out. She was giving herself a way out because _y/n_ wasn’t sure how to be in this situation. How she would feel about Aaron if he helped her. Aaron looked at her. He saw the hesitation on her face and replied, “I won’t be late, and I’ll be quick here, I promise.” Aaron sensed that _y/n_ wanted this over with as soon as possible. It didn’t give him much time to think of something to check in with her. Hotch couldn’t delay and he didn’t want to make _y/n_ more uncomfortable, so he took _y/n_’s hand back into his. He squeezed a small dot of the cream on his finger and dabbed it onto her burn. _y/n_ flinched as he touched her more deliberately. Hotch finished that part swiftly and tore open the band-aid gently pressing it over the burn, securing it on her hand. He softly dropped her hand and closed the medical kit saying, “Good as new.” Aaron recognized that he was using the tone that he did with Jack when he came home from a play date with a scrape or bruise. _y/n_ took the kit off the counter and said, “Thanks for the help.” She sounded reserved and Hotch nodded, saying, “It was nothing. Have a good day, _y/n_.” With that, Hotch took his drinks again and moved out of the shop with a weight on his shoulders. _y/n_ watched him go and wished she could have a good day, but the threat of _y/p_ hung over her. _y/n_ also wished and tried to get Aaron’s concerned face and kind words out of her head, but she wasn’t very successful at that either. 

Rossi noticed how perplexed Aaron seemed as he entered the building and moved up toward his office. The older profiler also clocked the two cups of coffee Hotch was precariously holding in one hand. Dave, who was at the railing at the top of the stairs asked Hotch as he got to the top, “You turning into Reid or something?” Aaron scoffed and replied, “I hope not. I’m too old from that kind of energy.” Rossi gave a half-smile before saying, “Well today it looks like you picked up more than a caffeine addiction.” Hotch didn’t understand and asked, “What do you mean?” Dave followed his friend to his office and said, “You look like you’re worried about something. Is Jack alright?” Hotch’s deep sigh told Rossi that he was correct. Something had happened. Aaron looked over at him with knowing eyes. Eyes that had seen too much pain and loss for one man. Hotch swallowed his sip of coffee before saying, “I just saw someone getting torn down. Put in a place I don’t think they deserve, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I’m the Chief of the BAU, one of the most revered branches in the FBI, and I see someone get hurt and I don’t know what to do about it.” Rossi leaned his arms on the desk chair opposite Aaron’s and slowly replied, “Aaron, you can’t save everyone from a bad situation.” Hotch bit the inside of his lip and replied, “But I want to. Am I losing my humanity?” Aaron often wondered after the death of Haley what he was becoming. He hoped it wasn’t something bad. Someone who didn’t care. Rossi watched this struggle and uncertainty play out on Hotch’s face and said, “I think this job can warp the way people working it see things. Pardon this reductionist analysis, but we go out and see countless victims and there’s a big bad to get and hold accountable. The scope of the evil we see is like a tsunami, and when we see a wave we don’t always know what to do. But a wave can still drown someone. That person’s no less deserving of a life jacket.” Rossi knew that he was making it sound like Aaron didn’t want to help whoever he was talking about, and knowing Aaron that was never the case. But Rossi wanted to provide some perspective before delving further into the conversation.  Dave then said, “But Aaron, Not everyone knows they're drowning either. Maybe they don’t know to ask for a life jacket.” Dave was taking a guess here. He knew Hotch well enough that if this was a person Aaron knew well or personally, he would have done something already. So most likely this was a stranger or acquaintance that he’d encountered struggling, and Hotch, being the man he was, couldn't bear to see it happen. Rossi didn’t want to press Aaron. He wasn’t the type to go into detail, so Dave just stepped forward, patted him on the shoulder, and, said, “You’re a good man, Aaron, no matter what you believe, you’re a good man.” With that Rossi stood and walked to the door to let his friend decide what to do after that. And just to lighten the mood, Dave said at the door, “Don’t drink all that coffee at once. You’ll put yourself into cardiac arrest.” 

Once Rossi was gone, Aaron moved behind his desk and sat down. He pulled out his briefcase and set to work on a floor-wide memo about a new policy on overtime. As he worked, he let Dave’s words churn in his head. By lunch, he’d decided that he’d go back to the coffee shop after work. No one had been a lifeline for him in his childhood and he wasn’t going to let it happen to someone else. Yes, he was aware that abuse happened all the time, all over the place and he couldn’t stop all of it. But he could let _y/n_ know that there were places she could go, and resources to her to get out. Something like that would have changed his life, and as it would turn out, Aaron’s willingness to step into a sensitive situation would save _y/n_’s. 

Hotch moved back to Dawn til Dusk after work. Thankfully a case hadn’t pulled the team away. It was just after five thirty and the shop would close in a half hour. He’d never been there in the afternoon. The place took on a more subdued quality. There wasn’t the anxiety, the day was all ahead of me energy that the early morning held. As Aaron stepped inside, there was no one to greet him. Not _y/n_ with her smile that he’d grown used to when he stepped in the door or any customers either. For a second Aaron realized that he might be very silly because maybe _y/n_ didn’t work the afternoon shift and when someone came to out of the backroom or storage room, it would be a total stranger. Aaron assumed that whoever was still in the shop would come out of the staff room because the door stood ajar. He couldn’t see into the room, from where he was standing, but a loud thump had him snap his head to the side quickly. The sound hadn’t come from inside the room, but somewhere just beyond it. The same sound came again, and whatever it was, Aaron didn’t like it. Hotch moved to the side enough to see through the open door which led to another door with a window that looked out onto the alley behind the coffee shop. At first, it just looked like a small corridor that ran out to the street beyond the far side of the building. It seemed quiet until a body was pushed harshly to the ground and into Aaron’s view. Hotch realized that it was _y/n_ from her outfit from that morning. In a split second, Hotch was running through the backroom and out the door as the person who had stood behind him this morning came into view and began viciously kicking _y/n_ in the side. 

_y/n_ curled into a ball on the pavement, choking for air. When _y/p_ came back again on the same day and said they needed to talk, she tried to swallow any fear she had. _y/n_ said they could talk in the back room, but _y/p_ insisted they go outside. That had been her fatal flaw. She didn’t know how to say no to them anymore and even though she was still on the clock, she’d let him into the small space behind the shop. Once the door was closed, _y/p_ had pounced. They pinned _y/n_ against the wall, choking her with such force that she couldn’t get a word out. When _y/n_ was sure she’d pass out from the lack of oxygen, _y/p_ threw her to the ground so hard she felt stunned. When _y/n_ had come to her senses, she tried to crawl away from the pain in her body and the threat of passing out. She still hadn’t fully regained her breath and the sides of her vision blurred at the edges. _y/p_ didn’t let _y/n_ crawl more than a few paces before grabbing her shirt and dragging her toward the dumpster on the opposite wall of the alley. _y/n_ groaned as the pain tore up her body. _y/n_ could feel her shirt riding up due to the rough surface of the concrete. _y/p_ tried for the first time to fight back. To get away, but _y/p_ pushed _y/n_ up to the edge of the dumpster and kicked her in the groin. They crouched down while _y/n_ covered her face and neck. _y/n_ said, “Did you think you could get on birth control and I wouldn’t know. Did you think I wouldn’t know?” _y/n_ shook her head and attempted to explain, but _y/n_ stopped trying when she gasped in pain. _y/n_ had pinner _y/d/a_ under a thick steel boot. The sickening crack that came shortly after had _y/n_ turn to the side and vomit in pain. When she looked up at _y/p_’s face, she knew this was how it was going to end. For some fucking pills. _y/p_ moved in again, pressing their hands to _y/n_ neck, cutting off the air she needed; _y/n_ spluttered fighting for life.However, the pressure was suddenly gone from her arm, neck, and everywhere else. Nothing was making much sense in _y/n_’s pounding head. She could only focus on trying to breathe. 

It took Aaron five long strides to get outside and reach _y/n_ and her assailant. Hotch grabbed _y/p_ around the middle and pulled them off _y/n_. Hotch rolled with the person who trashed and screamed, “Let GO OF ME. Get off me.” Hotch grunted and tried to hold the person still. He found it ironic that _y/n_ was so against being manhandled with what he’d just done to _y/n_. From the anger, the person beneath Hotch showed, Aaron assumed it wasn’t the first time it had been this bad. Rage like that just didn’t start from nowhere, It grew and grew until it became uncontrollable. Aaron knew monsters were bred not born. Hotch caught his breath and said, “Stay still for your own sake. Move and I’ll knock your light out.” _y/p_ spat and said, It’s none of your business.” Aaron tightened his hold and said, “As a federal agent when I see someone get assaulted it suddenly is my business.” _y/n_ stilled for a second but then tried to use all their strength to shove Aaron away. Hotch rocked back on his hip and _y/p_  swung at him. Aaron took the brunt of the blow in his sternum. As big as _y/n_’s partner was, the hit wasn’t strong. It hardly hurt. Hotch was done. He had no place of remorse for abusers and he, unlike the person struggling below him, aimed one solid punch at the dude’s face. Maybe _y/n_ wasn’t fully out, but they were stunned enough to slump back on the ground with a groan. Hotch let them go and moved over to _y/n_ who was coming back to herself. Aaron dropped down on his knees next to _y/n_. The lower half of her body was in a murky puddle at the foot of the dumpster and their upper body leaned against the refuse bin. Aaron didn’t notice as his favorite trousers got soaked in the same murky puddle. He pulled out his phone and dialed 9-1-1. The operator answered asking, “9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?” Aaron cleared his throat and replied, “There’s been an attack on Maddison and Smith. Fourth block down from the stop sign. At the back of Dawn til Dusk. I need medical and police services.” Hotch heard the operator typing in the information before asking, “Are you or anyone in immediate danger? Are you the one that was attacked?” Hotch replied quickly, “No, it was someone else.” He took a second to see that _y/n_’s partner was still out of it and added, “There’s no immediate danger.” The woman on the other end of the line said, “Thank you for the information. Can you provide your name and phone number?” At this stage, Hotch was multitasking. He was carefully looking over _y/n_ who was starting to stir. He held a hand up to still her movements and turned his head toward the phone on the ground saying, “Agent Aaron Hotchner, the number’s 982-289-7765.” After a second, the woman on the phone said, “Thank you, Agent Hotchner, please stay on the line, medical and police services are on their way.” Hotch nodded minutely and when he looked back at _y/n_, she was staring at him with wide eyes. She had registered who he was now and heard his conversation in the back part of her head that wasn't screaming in pain. _y/n_ whispered, “Where’s _y/n_?” The weak attempt at speaking had her cough harshly into her chest, and Aaron leaned closer saying, “Don’t worry about them, _y/n_. Just stay still and try and relax. If you can take small breaths, it might help.” _y/n_ nodded and tried to do as he said. 

_y/n_ watched as Aaron pulled out another phone and called someone else. She thought she heard the name, Morgan somewhere and the name of the shop, but for a man of Aaron’s stature and power, he spoke with surprising softness. As she had seen Hotch take down _y/p_ there seemed to be an anger she hadn’t imagined she’d ever see from him. But now he just looked worried for her. Like he had looked worried at the store. His emotions had turned on a dime. She was used to that with _y/p_. But that was from a constant disappointment to a visceral rage. Aaron’s were different. His seemed to shift from anger to firm protection. _y/n_ didn’t know what to make of it. Didn’t know what to make of her life anymore. She hadn’t expected to live a few minutes ago and now time stretched out before her like nothing she’d ever seen before. It was beautiful and horrifying at the same time. _y/n_ couldn’t think about that though. Not now. Instead, she just did as the man beside her suggested, relax and breathe. That was managable at least. Hotch stayed by her, checking every minute or so to make sure _y/p_ stayed put. Aaron hadn’t even put fifty percent of his strength into his punch, but the slumped body on the ground didn’t move. At least until the police showed up five minutes later and hauled them into a cruiser. _y/n_ suddenly got their energy back and bellowed that they had been attacked by Aaron. _y/n_’s bloody face and broken arm plus Hotch’s badge and account of the story had the officers removed _y/p_ from the scene shortly after. The paramedics showed up at the same time as the officers and started to treat _y/n_. Hotch gave his side of things and tried to listen in on _y/n_’s conversation at the same time. The EMT finished his assessment and asked, “Is your vision blurred? How’s your breathing?” _y/n_ softly replied, “I can see okay. My neck hurts, but I can breathe okay. But my arm, it really, really hurts.” The EMT nodded and said, “It looks like it’s broken. My colleague is going to bring the stretcher around the building now. Once you’re in the ambulance we can get you some pain medication, okay?” _y/n_ nodded and the paramedic asked one last question, “Is there someone we can call for you? A family member or friend?” Hotch watched as _y/n_ shook her head no. She looked incredibly sad and lonely in the moment and it pulled at his insides so much they ached because he knew exactly what that felt like. To feel alone in the world. Hotch stepped forward and said, “I’ll stay with her. Which hospital are you taking her to?” The EMT stood and made room for the gurney along with Aaron. The man replied, “Grand Gen on 45th.” Hotch nodded and watched as _y/n_ got loaded onto the stretcher. As she was taken toward the ambulance Aaron walked beside her and said, “I’ll be at the hospital okay. If you need anything just ask for me, alright?” _y/n_ gave a small nod, thankful that anyone was going to be there for her. 

Aaron spent the next few hours talking to the police and waiting in the hospital for an update. _y/n_ called him in before the doctor came to tell her what was wrong with her. _y/n_ even though she didn’t know the man who had saved her well, was the closest thing she had to a friend in town, and she didn’t want to be alone when she found out the extent of all what was wrong with her. Doctor James was compassionate as he detailed her minor concussion, broken arm, and deep bruises on her body. He detailed a care plan and her need for at least a week of rest. _y/n_ looked at the medical professional and asked, “Can I work after that?” James pursed his lips and replied, “I wouldn’t recommend it. You’ll need to come in for a check-up next week and we can talk about that then. But for now, I need you to rest.” _y/n_ mouthed okay, trying to think about how to tell Lisa that she wasn’t going to be at work for probably over a week. Lisa had fired much of the staff last year and was a chronic, didn’t show up to work even though she owned the coffee shop. _y/n_ had ended up picking up the slack. The doctor looked over _y/n_’s chart and wrote down the pain medications he was going to prescribe her. He looked up from the clipboard and said, “I’ll schedule your release for an hour. I just want to ensure you’re not confused or don’t have any reactions to the medications we gave you. There are some pretty strong ones and not everyone’s body takes to them well. It’s not safe for you to drive, so you’ll need to call someone to get you. Does anyone come to mind?” No one came to mind. If anything came up, she always called _y/p_, but she wouldn’t be doing that anymore. The realization seemed overwhelming. Everything in her life felt overwhelming right now. Hotch stepped forward and said gently, “I can take you home, _y/n_. If you’re comfortable with that. Or I can get you a cab?” _y/n_ looked over to him and said, “You’d do that?” Hotch nodded and reassuringly replied, “Yes. Of course.” Hearing someone so vulnerable sound so desperate only made Aaron want to look out for _y/n_ more. The doctor derailed that train of thought and said, “Well good. Can you go and speak to the charge nurse at the counter, just so we have your information?” Aaron nodded and moved out of the room. After he’d provided the details the hospital needed, he got a call from Morgan. Hotch answered, “Derek, what do you have?” Morgan replied, “I asked Garcia to look up the dude, they have a record as long as my arm. Assault and battery, resisting arrest, DUI’s. After this, I don’t think they’ll be bothering anyone for a while. It was still a bad situation. The cops told me about the details. How’d you know it was going to happen.” Aaron sighed and replied, “I didn’t really. I had my assumptions but it was just a gut feeling I guess.” Derek hummed and said, “Well it’s good you were there. Things could have gone differently.” That was true, but it didn’t stop Aaron from wishing he’d noticed earlier. After asking Morgan to have Rossi pick Jack up from school and watch after his son for a few hours, Aaron ended the call. Around fifty minutes later, _y/n_ was released and Aaron pulled his car up to the front of the hospital. A nurse helped her into the driver’s side of his car. It was an awkward ride as he asked her for her address and he plugged it into his phone. As Aaron drove there was a silence that neither knew how to fill. 

_y/n_ didn’t know how to thank Aaron for saving her life when, up until that afternoon, he’d only been someone to make her mornings a little brighter. And Aaron didn’t know how to comfort a woman who had helped him heal in a small way many months ago. Finally, Aaron just said, “I’m sorry, _y/n_” while keeping his eyes on the road. _y/n_ looked over at him not understanding. She replied, “Why are you sorry, Aaron? You saved my life today, spent four hours in a hospital, and are using your car to take me home. You don’t even know me and you’re doing all of this” Hotch shifted his eyes to _y/n_ and back to the road as he said, “But I saw you. What was happening a few weeks back and I didn’t say anything. I didn’t ask if you needed help. It’s my job to help people. To keep them safe, and I didn’t do that.” _y/n_ pulled her bottom lip into her mouth for a second before responding. When she found out that Aaron was in the FBI while he was speaking to the police, things seemed to make more sense about him. But _y/n_ didn’t understand why he felt bad. She said, “Aaron, lots of people saw. You’re the first person to have ever done anything about it, and it saved my life. I won’t ever be able to pay you back for that, or the kindness you showed me every morning you come in.” _y/n_ stopped herself from saying that he’d given her something to live for. But seeing him slowly get happier had kept her going over the long months when things had gone from bad to worse. She knew that at least one person wasn’t suffering anymore. Hotch’s soft response of, “You don’t have to thank me, ever.” The conversation stopped there as they reached _y/n_’s apartment. Hotch pulled out his card and scribbled his number on the back saying, “Call or text me if you need anything.” _y/n_ nodded, took the card, and slowly walked to her door to enter an empty home. 

_y/n_ hadn’t expected to need to call Aaron Hotchner. But she also hadn’t expected it to be so hard to be alone, to wake in cold sweats every morning. She didn’t think showering alone would be as hard even though showering with _y/e/p_ always ended in fights. _y/n_ knew she had to talk to someone, and the only someone she could think of had been Aaron. So she called him on a Thursday night and he’d picked up on the first ring with, “This is Hotchner.” _y/n_ wasn’t even sure what she was going to say, but finally choked out, “Umm, this is _y/n_, _l/n_, from last week.” There was a pause as Aaron’s synapses fired and he said, “Yes, _y/n_. Is something the matter? Do you need something?” The was a soft shuffling sound on _y/n_ side before she replied, “Kind of. Can we, talk sometime? If you have time?” Hotch blinked a few times before saying, “Sure. Do you want to talk now or later?” _y/n_ who half hadn’t expected Aaron to pick up and fully wasn’t sure what she even wanted to say, said, “Later. Maybe Saturday?” Hotch agreed and said, “Saturday works. I’ll have to bring my son. Would meeting at a park be okay? Jack, my boy could play and we’d have an hour to talk?” _y/n_ hadn’t known Hotch was a father. “Of course, you don’t idiot. You formally met him last week. Can you read minds now or something?” _y/n_ pinched the bridge of her nose and stifled a sigh at her thoughts. Instead, she said, “That works for me. Is there a time and a park that works for you?” They made their meeting plan, and when _y/n_ hung up, she felt oddly comforted that Aaron was a father. The role fit him in some way that she couldn’t fully understand yet. 

That Saturday at Lincoln Grove Park, _y/n_ and Hotch leaned against the rail. _y/n_ looked at the flock of kids on the playground and asked, “Which one is your son?” Hotch smiled and pointed out Jack saying, “The one in the grey beanie and Power Rangers shirt.” _y/n_ spotted the little boy going down the slide and smiled saying, “He’s cute.” Aaron smiled and said, “As his father, I have to agree.” He took a breath and moved his gaze from his son to _y/n_. She looked at him as he asked, “What’s the matter, _y/n_? Are you okay?” Hotch realized that he could have, should have said those words to her when he’d helped her at the store, but it was too late for that now. All he could do was ask them in the present, and be there for whatever answer _y/n_ gave. _y/n_ had considered this question beforehand and replied, “After the first day I thought it was going to be easy. I thought I was going to be happy and want to do things and live life again.” _y/n_ hesitated and Aaron’s eyes softened. He’d seen and experienced enough trauma to know how hard that sudden kind of change was. You didn’t just go from sad to happy overnight, or scared to empowered either. He gave _y/n_ space to finish he thought, and after a moment she did, saying, “But when I wake up and the other side of the bed is empty, I panic. I wonder where _y/e/p_ is and how the fight is to be once it comes. And when I go to the store, I get the things they liked because I liked them too. _ye//p_’s still everywhere even though they’re sitting in a jail cell right now.” It all sounded pathetic to _y/n_ and she continued, “Am I an idiot for falling for someone like that? I really thought they loved me until they hurt me. And at that point, I loved them too much to see past it.” Feeling ashamed, _y/n_ put her head in her hands, not even sure why she was saying this stuff to Aaron. Hotch took a step forward and said her name, soft and melodically. _y/n_ raised her head and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. He put a hand on her shoulder and replied, “You’re not stupid, _y/n_. Some people are just good fakes. They let you see what you want until you think you know them. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Good people don’t have to hide what they are.” Aaron took a pause and felt _y/n_ lean into his touch a bit. He wondered when the last time was that _y/n_ had been offered comfort without it coming at a price. Hotch chose his next words carefully, as he said, “I can’t speak for you _y/n_. But I’ve felt a lot of pain before. Some I didn’t think I was going to make it through. But in time, things got better for me. Small things changed first, and then bigger and bigger things. And finally, I felt like I could breathe again. Like I was a human deserving of love. I had to work for it, but it was worth it. I hope you can find that too, _y/n_. I’d be happy to be there for you if you want to try.” _y/n_’s tears were falling now, and she nodded her head yes. For the first time since she’d been free of _y/e/p_, she wanted to try. 

As _y/n_ and Aaron stood at the edge of the playground, talking and finally getting to know each other after months of almost being friends, it seemed that perhaps they weren't destined to move past each other without ever knowing the other existed. Perhaps they had both been lighthouses on opposite shores trying to save strangers, but now their warm beams were fully on each other. Shining the way to safe passage. And when Aaron saw the hint of a real smile, not one masked by pain or fear on _y/n_’s face, he thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

______________________________________________________________

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[t00nyah]

t00nyah explaining project moon without actually explaining project moon

after posting lcb trigger warning i wanted to do this

or

me explaining project moon in the shortest way possible except its goofy af bc im eepy and lazy but im in a desperately talkative mood (i post mostly about limbus company since it came out cmon)

what the fuck is projmoon:

project moon is the coolest ever indie game development team we love them; they've made three games so far, also have an unfinished novel, a...idk, just another novel that was initially a comic but im a hater (im sorry(not)), and another comic

they've been doing it for like 7 years almost and still have no idea what optimization is but its okay we love them

there's a lot of killing and just amoral guys in general who can and will kill thousands. its THE 'your meow meow killed thousands of people' 'and they looked good doing it!' universe. everyone is fucked up there guys. but UMMM thats kinda the appeal

so the games! we all here are gamerzzz!

LC

it all started 6 years ago, when lobotomy corporation released in early access and my gf was like hey look what i found

lobotomy corp is a game where you're a manager in a big company, L corp, and you have to get your guys, employees(lucky ones who got the job) to work with abnormalities(fucked up creatures) so they would generate enkephalin, a big energy resource

except your guys will probably die when you're already so attached to them so you just restart the day each time this happens

theres like a maaassive plot, it is the beginning of literally everything, like some stuff still haunts us in limbus company (looking at a particular individual) and there are more characters that you'll fucking love(sephirahs) and then learn their fucked up story (and then learn your fucked up story and not be happy about it)

ah yes while im on it theres no actual self incert in project moon games im sorry but every character IS a character

gameplay-wise you just have to organize your guys, give them equipment, assign them to a job, make them suffer and struggle to suppress abnormalities if they try to make a mess(kill everyone) and do hard tasks your besties make you do

LoR

later, in like 2018 i think, they almost immediately after full release of LC announced a sequel, library of ruina

library of ruina is a game that continues the story(duh) and i can't tell you much about it without spoiling lob corp too, but in this one you have to USE BRAIN like A LOT because its a STRATEGY CARD GAME

in this one you dont even have a character you play as, you just follow the characters' on their journey. but dw! you'll get your own customizable guys to adore here too!

basically in this game the characters from LC and your guys are called librarians and you have to greet guests of the library, that were specifically invited there and /tp-ed, basically fighting them. every battle has its own story and eventually it branches off into four arcs and oh gott i love library of ruina a'right you meet characters for like one story and then have to fight them knowing their issues and how life fucked them over enough to get there</3

gameplay-wise you build cool decks from cards of those you've killed for your guys, pick guys for fight and then pick cards. simple. i think. not so simple in game but i simplified it

there's also a lot of amazing lore drops, bc in LC we were kinda isolated and focused on the corporation, but in LoR? we get to see all kinda of people of The City, we learn about The City, we learn about factions and all, we get all the lore we missed by being stuck in that manager chair

LCB

okay and now we're here. limbus my fucking company.

limbus company was, again, announced almost immediately after LoR's full release(PM are CRAZY), and released february 27 of this year, and already has more story in word count than lor does or so i've heard...

limbus company is pm's first mobile game(but dw there is a steam release if you're more of a pc person or your phone will explode if you try to install it(and it will)) and their first...(behold) gacha game. yep. but no dont get scared it actually has the best gacha system ever known to men

they've also tried to make it enjoyable without getting into previous games but to me it doesnt feel right i dunno i feel like it's just not that cool without knowing the context and going insane screaming at carmen or connecting the dots, also like the events of LCB are all connected to LC and LoR, so ummm if you try to get into limbus without at least learning what the other games contain be ready i'll personally explode you

in this game you basically play as dante(they/them for the sake of mysteriousness of 'who TF they are') and you have 12 deranged guys named the sinners who are ALL BASED OFF FUCKING CLASSIC LITERATURE did you fucking know pm are fucking literacy nerds and cant have a game without book references without exploding??? well they are.

so the characters (IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED) are:

1. gregor (metamorphosis, franz kafka)

2. rodion (crime and punishment, fyodor dostoyevsky)

3. (emil) sinclair (demian, hermann hesse)

4. yi sang (the wings, yi sang (kim hae-gyeong))

5. ishmael (moby dick, herman melville)

6. heathcliff (wuthering heights, emily bronte)

7. don quixote (don quixote, miguel de cervantes)

8. hong lu (dream of the red chamber, cao xueqin)

9. ryoshu (hell screen, ryunosuke akutagawa)

10. meursault (the stranger, albert camus)

11. outis (the odyssey, homer)

12. faust (faust, johann wolfgang von goethe)

also don't forget dante is based on the divine comedy by dante alighieri!

also dante DOESNT FUCKING KNOW SHIT. faust seems to know all shit and never tell dante.

i mentioned it being a gacha game. so like. you dont pull characters. instead you pull the initial deranged guys' alternative versions where they end up on another job like cult leader or a terrorist idk

the best part? you dont necessarily have to get them from gacha in most cases, you can get special currency, ego shards, to get whatever you want separately. also pm added ideality that you get from unfortunate pulls that you can spend on the special identity from the banner. but tbh i think its way easier to get the shards needed than pull that much, not really worth it

gameplay-wise? well. you have to basically just choose your guys' identities(those alt versions, they use them in fights to be stronger), choose their skills, a little similar to ruina (except TBH lcb lets you fuck around and put it on auto until it doesnt really work out (please dont autoplay with r corp ishmael or at least check what they're doing you silly goop they might do friendly fire if you're stupid enough)). the game consists of cantos, chapters that tell you a separate story of a sinner(in the order i gave earlier, not everyone knows that), that have story-episodes(cool ones), story-and-fight-then-episodes(epic ones), and sometimes just-fight-episodes(who the fuck thought those are a good idea?). and in the end of a canto there's always a dungeon. honestly, first two cantos are easy enough to just learn basics yourself, im rambling at this point

there's also hellish grind options and paid stuff like battle pass with the coolest perks ever

also LoR and LCB have mili songs, which is fucking cool, they're such bangers. no no projmoon games' ost in general. just fuckign bangers my guys and i mean it.

well that was fun and games. like i mentioned theres also:

Distortion Detective

im such a fucking fan of this unfinished novel, im so upset they abandoned it </3 pm did say they're probably going to rework it as a game or smth later but in my opinion it just loses its charm if its not a novel

distortion detective ... i cant explain it without spoilers to the games but its basically about moses, the distortion detective, who solves distortions which are like uhhmmm... people turning into some funky shit(that expresses their feelings). and she has a parthner named ezra. they're both poor traumatized women. and stuff happens. thats all i can say without spoiling everything. you learn a lot about the distortion phenomenon from moses' perspective.

WonderLab

wonderlab is a comic made by artist mimi, that follows taii, rose and catt. its about another lobotomy corp branch that actually introduces us to the concept of abnormality aberrations (slightly similar but different abnormalities like we have a little red riding hooded mercenary's(do you remember me mentioning pm being literacy nerds?) team fortress blue team version or whatever) that is used in limbus quite a lot so we old people from LC can be like 'heehehehe this is like like snow white's apple's aberration, so funny, reminds me of good ol' days...'

Leviathan

my main enemy. initially it was a comic, but i think they had to stop working with the artist for some reason and continue it as a novel instead.

issue?

i didnt read it. im so sorry i failed you. but i cant. first vergilius, main character, is ugly AS FUCK and he's STUPID i hate his guts. BUT OH DEAR LORD HE APPEARS IN LIMBUS COMPANY AND I HATE HIM EVEN MORE. AND NOT JUST APPEARS, HE'S THE GUIDE OF THE BUS, HE'S KINDA ALWAYS THERE. I HATE HIS GUTS. oh hey lap-- charon, no, you're good, you're amazing, vroom-vroom, yes, right, you're so right.

i'm pretty sure it has A LOT of important context for some stuff in LCB but i just CAN'T MAKE MYSELF TOUCH IT. please read leviathan for me.

i'm sorry it turned into a looong ramble but here's t00nyah's awful brief guide to project moon. in case you want to know about world-building or the story in particular...i'm always here to dm me. please do. i really love telling people about project moon. there's just a lot to unpack.

edit. okay apparently it was easy to misinterpret my leviathan commentary so im putting this here for the sake of clearing the confusions for future!! tl;dr: i know it wasn't continued as a comic for REASONS, it's OBVIOUS!! and yes, leviathan is important, i just can't make myself read it therefore don't have enough knowledge to write about it(cool idea: write your own post about leviathan if you're seeing this and are enthusiastic about it! i just won't.), i still don't like vergilius, it's just a me-thing. DO read leviathan if you're interested</3

edit2. after thinking for a while, decided to add this just in case: i was given a summary of leviathan! well. it IS something. (opinion on vergilius hasn't changed much sorry not sorry, still a me-thing.) but yeah 👍 all good 👍 still not liking it much, mayhaps because i couldn't read it myself, but. it can be found here in the comment section.

[fuwushiguro]

They Tell Me That It's Good For Me

Zeke Yeager x f!reader Genre: Smut Notes: It’s hip to be square… Warnings: 18+, dubcon, cheating, violence, murder, mental health issues, vaginal sex. Lmk if I missed any. Words: 4k

Zeke resented his brother, Eren. The brunette being ten years his junior made him wonder who he thinks he is to be telling him what to do. He’s a doctor, and yet Eren seems to think it’s a good idea that he go to therapy? Family therapy, at that. It’s just the two of them sitting in the office on account of their parents being dead. The therapist immediately senses hostility in Zeke. A reluctance to be a part of this ridiculous practice. Eren disagrees, though. His temper around their penthouse recently has been less than pleasurable.

“What does a regular day in the life of Zeke Yeager look like?” the therapist asks. Zeke’s eyes roll so violently, they flutter manically. He adjusts his seating position, pulling up his trousers slightly as he crosses one leg over the other and sinks back into the armchair. He’s a picture of perfect coolness as he rakes his fingers through his hair and thinks about his answer.

A day in the life of Zeke Yeager.

He lives in one of the most expensive properties in the city. The name Zeke Yeager is one of renown and respect. An excellent doctor who studied under his father, Grisha, a title and career he achieved and solidified all before turning twenty-nine. Self-care is very important to Zeke. He likes women, you see, and being in his line of work can be incredibly stressful and taxing on your appearance. He knows every trick and technique to prolong his youth and prevent wrinkles for as long as possible. His morning regime can be gruesome, as if the poor man isn’t tired enough. But it’s all worth it to look how he does.

Not many people see his body under his work uniform, but it’s often a surprise to many when they realise how perfectly sculpted and chiselled he is. Taking care of himself can’t just stop at using specific creams and scrubs on his soft skin to prolong his youth. A balanced diet and exercise play a crucial role in it all, too. The exercise is probably the most irritating part of his morning routine to Eren. For some reason his elder brother insists on playing porno tapes on the TV at full volume while he works out. The sounds of women’s moans incentivise him, apparently. It doesn’t stop it from being irritating, though.

Zeke Yeager is successful in every way that an individual can be. He’s wealthy, he has a good job, good looks that attract enough women to placate his salacious desires. And even a brother who, whilst they annoy each other to the brink of self-detonation, they care for each other.

But it’s not enough for Zeke Yeager. He’s a shell of a man. No matter how much money he has, there’s always someone with more money. Despite him being magnificent at his job, there will always be someone somewhat superior to him. Regardless of which woman he takes to bed, there’s always a man with a sexier woman and a hotter cunt than what he’s going to devour and enjoy.

Zeke Yeager exists, but only barely.

“This was a stupid idea, Eren. I don’t need a shrink, I myself am a doctor, you know.” he talks to his brother in the chair beside his own. Zeke doesn’t get a response, but he notices the therapist begin to scribble down notes in their little book.

“I’d rather you not talk to Eren, Zeke. Focus on me. I’d like you to tell me why you’re here. What has been going on in the last few months?” the therapist speaks. Zeke runs his tongue along his top row of teeth as he contemplates the question. He’d have to ask Eren why they’re here, but now it turns out they aren’t even allowed to speak with each other.

“My life isn’t as interesting as you might think. I work. I go for the occasional drink with colleagues or my brother. I go home and enjoy video tapes and then return them when I’m finished with them.” he explains, prompting the therapist to write down more notes.

“Video tapes. I must say, from what I’ve seen and heard you watch quite a substantial amount of pornography films. Do you think you have a porn addiction?”

“No.”

“No?”

“That’s what I said.”

The therapist takes her time writing his response. It’s quite difficult to make Zeke feel uneasy, but the radio silence for five minutes straight filled with only the sound of a ballpoint scratching on paper fills him with unease. He feels like he’s on trial. Part of him wants to clear his throat, but he doesn’t wish to give the therapist the satisfaction of thinking she’s rattled him. Or worse, she’s won.

“I’d like to know about your sexual history. At what age did you lose your virginity and how frequently do you engage in sexual intercourse?” she asks him. This makes Zeke scoff. It’s not something he cares to divulge with a stranger. He sees Eren scowling at him and shakes his head unimpressed.

“I was seventeen. And I couldn’t say how often, truthfully. I like women, I’d say I have sex more than most.”

“Do you ever pay for it?”

“Is that relevant? I don’t see how that matters.” Zeke answers her question defensively, earning another series of notes appearing on the paper in front of her. “Sometimes I do, yes.” he adds, and she writes it down.

“Outside of sex, what else do you do for fun?”

“I can’t think, right now. I’ve told you a few things, I think we should move on.” he suggests. She smiles, crossing one leg over the other and nodding in agreement. He isn’t sure about therapy; he never has been. The idea of someone getting inside of his mind and trying to unearth secrets and fantasies that he may not even know about himself is terrifying.

“Do you get along with Eren’s fiancé?” she asks. Now Zeke does clear his throat. He unfolds his legs and leans forward in his seat pressing his fingertips against one another as he thinks of how he should answer.

“I don’t think we should discuss this.”

“You have a fiancé, don’t you?” she pushes. Zeke grimaces and nods. This must be why Eren brought him here. He looks over his shoulder in Eren’s direction, and he can barely look at him. He’s been a terrible older brother. So selfish and insufferable. But Zeke has never claimed to be selfless. What Zeke wants, Zeke gets.

“I stole Eren’s fiancé, yes, if we must talk about it then sure. It wasn’t a particularly nice thing to do, but I—” she stops him from saying another word by raising her hand as she writes again. He waits patiently for her to finish so that she can ask another question or wait for him to continue.

“Do you recognise this woman?” she asks as she places a polaroid on the coffee table in front of them. Zeke leans forwards to pick the image up and pushes his glasses further up his nose so he can get a proper look. He shakes his head, placing it back down and pushing it towards her.

“What about this woman? Or this woman? Maybe this one?” she fires off as she places another three images down on the table. He looks at them all intently, once again shaking his head as he pushes them back at her.

“I don’t recognise any of them. What about you, Eren?” he asks his brother, he’s still scowling at them. He thought they were on better terms since he stole you away from him. Apparently not. The therapist clicks her fingers and reminds him not to talk to Eren.

“That’s a shame. I had hoped you could help me, they’re all deceased, you see. Quite grisly murders, actually.” she tells him, not even looking at him as she focuses on her note taking. It scares Zeke to hear. Four women murdered. It’s a scary world to live in. It’s enough to encourage him to light up a cigarette and get comfier in his seat as he digests the information.

“That’s horrible. All the same killer, you think? Or—”

“What do you like to do for fun, Zeke?” the therapist asks him again. His eyes scrunch as he wonders if he heard her right. Haven’t they been over this already? Why does she keep asking?

“I… I enjoy eating. There is a restaurant in the city that is difficult to get on the guest list for, but they usually make an exception for my colleagues and I. That could be considered fun.” he tells her. She doesn’t bother writing it down, which makes him feel like he’s said something boring. Or something wrong entirely.

“I assume you and your fiancé have a considerable amount of sex? How much, would you say?” she queries. Zeke scratches his beard as he thinks about it. He pushes his glasses a little way up his nose, again, before answering.

“Not as much recently. Three times a week, possibly? Work is exhausting. I’d never be off her if I had the choice.” he confesses. That is something she deems necessary to write down. She even pouts as she does, like she’s really concentrating on getting every single word perfect.

“Do you cheat on her? You sometimes pay for prostitutes, have you done that since you became engaged?” she asks him. He looks down, awkwardly, and concentrates on the sounds of his bones cracking as he crushes his knuckles. He sighs, though, preparing to answer yet again.

“Unfortunately I do. I’m not proud of it, it doesn’t mean I love her any less.” he explains, trying his very best to justify himself and his abhorrent behaviour. She’s writing yet again. He notices the way her eyes harshen when she’s writing something particularly juicy, otherwise her brows remain relaxed and her eyes almost appear lifeless.

“What do you do for fun, Zeke?”

“Why do you—? Music, I like listening to music at home. Dancing and a few drinks with the right music on is fun, for me.”

“Those four women were prostitutes.” she announces casually, scribbling some more and not making any form of eye contact as she speaks. Zeke’s jaw hangs low as he comes to realise what might be happening here.

“I feel like you’re accusing me of something.” he tells her. She doesn’t confirm nor deny. She simply keeps her eyes fixated on him as he begins to awkwardly laugh under her intimidating glare.

“Could you tell me about the first time you had sexual intercourse with your fiancé?”

Oh boy, could he. But should he? Would you approve of him diving into the intimate intricacies of your relationship and what you get up to between the sheets? It’ll be fine, he thinks, patient doctor confidentiality is a requirement. He knows that just as well as she does.

Eren had brought you home for the first time to introduce you to his brother. Zeke couldn’t believe how beautiful you were. From head to toe you were a total knockout. How a shit bag like Eren bagged a girl like you, he’ll never know. You spent the evening getting to know more about each other. About their family and their relationship with one another. It was sweet, you thought.

Zeke couldn’t keep his eyes off you, and it didn’t go unnoticed. Eren was the same, you were the only one who realised how intensely the brothers were staring at you. But of course, you didn’t comment on it. Instead, the three of you drank more and more. You drank the least, but it was still enough to feel tipsy.

Eren drank the most and he blacked out completely. Zeke had to carry him from the dining room chair to his bedroom. He landed on the soft mattress and bounced a little when Zeke let him fall from his arms.

“I think you like me, Zeke.” you said. He smirked immediately and you noticed his face go a little red. You stepped a little closer towards him, unable to keep away from his magnetic charm. “Am I… right? To think that.” you questioned. He shook his head, you were perfectly correct.

“I like the idea of bending you over and seeing what you look like stuffed full of me. If that means I like you, sure, I like you. But you’re with my little brother. I’m wondering why you’d ask a question like that when you’re engaged to him. Do you like me, too?”

You stood closer to him, wanting that to answer his question. It does. His hands moved around your neck and then one held the back of your head as he landed his lips on yours. It became heated quite quickly. Both of your hearts racing with adrenaline as you knew Eren could have woken up at any moment. He picked you up and made you wrap your legs around his waist so that he could carry you to his own bedroom.

You were set down and he pushed your body against his floor to ceiling mirror in his room. He dropped to the balls of his feet and then onto his knees, pulling your panties from underneath your skirt and tossing them over his shoulder. He nuzzled his face between your thighs and began to lick at your delicate, petalled flesh. Your little pearl was at his mercy, your hips bucking and stuttering with each suckle and slurp. He looked up at you, face and beard sparkling with pussy juice.

“Turn around, look at yourself.” he demanded. You did, and watched your own body as he began to undress you. He whispered under his breath. Mostly about how beautiful you were. He loved the way your face contorted when he spanked your ass. So, he did it again, and again, and again. “You look gorgeous when you hurt.”

That’s when he decided to soak his cock with your juices. He slid it up and down between your folds to make sure he was wet enough for you to take. He smoothed your hair back so you could both look at your face when he began to tear you apart with his thick cock.

“That’s it. Good girl, how’s the stretch feeling?”

“It— It hurts so good.” you moaned for him. It made him smile cockily. Of course it does. It was just what he wanted to hear.

He loved the way your jaw hung low and eyes were almost fully white as he ploughed into your little cunt. He adored that you didn’t care how fucking loud you were moaning on him, it didn’t bother you that Eren was in the next room. It was euphoric when you began to tighten on him like the little whore you are. You angled your body slightly so that you could face him. Kiss him. He was hitting your sweet spot so perfectly, you scratched down his defined back and earned a cat-like hiss from your soon to be brother in law.

“Fucking bitch, are you gonna cum?” he asked. You nodded like a fool. So damn close. He watched your pretty O face as you hit your peak. It was an inspired idea that he had decided to fuck you in front of the mirror. He doesn’t think he would have been able to examine your reactions and responses as perfectly as he did if he was facing you directly.

He didn’t let you relax as you came down from your high, though. He held your head in place and insisted you look at him as he fills your cunt up with himself. He’s giving you everything he has, the least you can do is admire him as he does so.

“You came in her?” the therapist asks, Zeke nods a little too proudly in front of his sibling. “Interesting.”

“Is it?”

“Did you cum in these four women that you fucked?” she asks him as she spreads the photographs out on the coffee table for a second time. He leans forward and looks at them again. He only shrugs his shoulders, though.

“Maybe. It’s likely. I don’t usually like to pull out or wear protection.” he tells her. She writes that down. Zeke isn’t afraid anymore, he’s starting to get agitated. “How much longer is this session?”

“What do you do for fun, Zeke?”

“Are you aware of how many times you’ve asked me this question?” he answers her question with his own. He pushes his hair back again as he slinks back into his seat. She isn’t done with him, though, he can tell that much by her demeanour.

“That’s not how things ended with your fiancé though, is it? How did it end?”

“Eren here caught us, unsurprisingly.”

“That isn’t what I was referring to. He wouldn’t have caught you if your fiancé wasn’t screaming.”

“Screaming?”

“Screaming, Zeke. Don’t you remember?” he shakes his head at her question. He remembers nothing of the sort. She didn’t scream. He would remember that. Wouldn’t he? He’d remember if she was screaming. “I think you’re confused. Are you confused, Zeke?”

“Very. I wouldn’t make her scream, only in a good way. Why would she be screaming?” he questions. She flips through her notebook and leans her body forward so that Zeke knows she’s reading directly to him.

“She claims the sex was indeed consensual. She instigated it and she enjoyed it until the screaming started. Can’t you remember? Can’t you try and remember why she was screaming?” she talks at him, he shakes his head again. His mind is blank. Is he going insane? “You’ve been referring to her as your fiancé. She’s nothing of the sort. You don’t have sex three times a week, you had sex that one time.”

“No,”

“Yes, Zeke,” she insists as she flips through her notes again. Instead of reading, she had another polaroid image to show him. “Might this jog your memory?” she asks, placing it above the other images.

It’s you. All bloody and cut to ribbons. He can’t believe what he’s seeing. You’re so beautiful but so broken. Who could do this to you?

“Jesus, what happened to her? Can I see her?”

“What do you do for fun, Zeke?”

“Stop asking me that! I want to know what happened to my fiancé! I need to see her!” he raises his voice, momentarily standing from his seat before the therapists scalding glare forces him back into his seat.

“You happened to her. Shall I read her statement to you?” she queries, flipping through her papers until she finds your handwriting. She clears her throat as she prepares to speak. Zeke looks terrified. He doesn’t know you or himself. “We were flirting discretely over dinner. When Eren went to bed it got more intense and I knew I wanted to have sex with him, so we did. We were against the mirror in his bedroom and he performed oral sex on me. He made me look at myself as we had sex and it was pleasant. Until he snapped. I think the change happened when I scratched his back. He started calling me names and he became rougher with me. As he began to climax, he pushed my head against the mirror and told me that I need to see how a whore takes his cum. He didn’t stop pushing and that’s when I started screaming. He pushed so hard that the glass broke, shards entering and slicing the skin on my face. That’s when Eren came in.”

She finishes speaking and looks at Zeke incredulously. He doesn’t know what to say. He can’t believe you would tell such a vicious lie. Are you trying to ruin him to save your reputation? You’re his fiancé now, why would you do such a thing?

“I wouldn’t— I would not do that.”

“What do you like to do for fun?”

“Are you listening to me? I did not fucking hurt that girl, I love her. We’re happy.” Zeke expressed pathetically. It was obvious to him that she wasn’t buying it, though. But who was she going to believe? Women stick together in times like these.

“What happened between you and Eren when he found the two of you?”

“We argued but, everything is fine now, right Eren?” Zeke asks his brother. He simply shakes his head, remaining completely silent as he does. “I don’t— I don’t understand what is happening.”

“Are you sure you don’t remember what you did to her? Or if you slept with these prostitutes?” she goads him, but he shakes his head in utter refusal. When will this end? “You aren’t yourself right now, Zeke.”

“Fuck you.” he spits at her. She only smiles.

“Do you remember hurting your brother?”

“Aren’t therapists supposed to help people? Are you trying to make me lose my mind?”

“He came in to see what all of the ruckus was about when his fiancé was screaming. You picked up a huge shard of mirror glass and pinned him to the armchair and stabbed him again and again. You don’t remember killing your brother?” she explains. He scoffs at that.

“Eren isn’t dead, he’s right here. Are you stupid?”

“Zeke, tell me what you like doing for fun.”

“No! What the fuck is the matter with you? You’re making up lies about my fiancé and my brother.”

“This girl here was stabbed. This one was chased and murdered with a chainsaw. This one was shot. This one was strangled. And you were the last person to see them all alive, after paying them for sex.”

“I don’t care about them. I care about why the fuck you just told me my brother is dead.” he barks. She shakes her head and stares at him.

“You tried to kill Eren’s fiancé. She managed to get away and call the police. But it was too late for Eren, he’s dead.” she tells him yet again. He almost growls at her answer, unable to believe she’s still speaking so cruelly to him and his brother.

“Are you blind? He’s here. He’s literally right fucking h—” Zeke has to pause as he turns to face his brother one final time. He isn’t sitting beside him pulling sarcastic faces and refusing to speak. He isn’t disgusted with him after the therapist had dredged up their past and betrayals.

No.

Eren is dead. He is right next to Zeke, but he is dead. His head drooping backwards over the back of the arm chair with dozens of stab wounds in his neck and even more on his shoulders and down to his stomach. The large mirror shard is still lodged in his younger siblings’ neck. His head moves rigidly so he can face the therapist. He looks down at the coffee one final time. He remembers you. You only met one time and he fucked you stupid. He remembers smashing your head into the mirror. He remembers how badly he needed you and how tight you were around his cock. He’s even starting to remember the prostitutes. At this point, he’s crying. Not because he’s sad, he’s laughing maniacally. It’s all coming back.

Fuck.

Every single thing is coming back to him, now.

“What do you like to do for fun, Zeke?” she asks, one final time. He manages to still his laughter as he wipes away his tears. He has an answer for her now. He finally has an answer he thinks she’s going to like.

“I like killing people,” he laughs softly, smoking a cigarette he lights up. A cigarette he feels may be his final one for a long time. “I like killing people, for fun.”

© 2022 fuwushiguro

[asshlyyyy]

Just The Nurse

Series Warnings: Language, Drug abuse, mentions of abuse, mentions of drugs. Colonel not liking the reader, probably some medical terms are incorrect, mentions of Elvis' potential death, health terms, health issues, yelling, fighting. Spelling and grammatical errors are likely. Individual chapter warnings will appear as needed.

Masterlist | Previous Part | Next Part

Chapter 2: Slow Progress

"Just let me cut your hair, it's not the end of the world." You snarked back at Elvis, who was by means making sure you didn't reach his hair with scissors in your hand.

"Ya ain't comin' near me with those damn scissors," Elvis shook his head. You let out a sigh and placed your hands on your hips.

"The best way to become healthy, is to look clean." You stated. You knew it sounded a bit silly... but usually, if you didn't look well-groomed... you were preserved as unhealthy... disgusting really.

"That don' make sense." He shook his head.

"That's beside the point. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere... and I quote," you clear your throat, "Presley had become a grotesque caricature of his sleek, energetic former self. Grossly overweight, his mind dulled by the pharmacopeia he daily ingested, he was barely able to pull himself through his abbreviated concerts."

"How do you know that?" He looked at you confused. 

"My sister," you shrugged, "now let me cut your hair." You took a large step towards Elvis. In return, Elvis took a much larger step further away from you.

"Get da fuck away from me women." He held his hand up.

"It's not like I'm shaving you bald!" You pointed out loudly.

"It minus well be!" He argued back. You let out a frustrated breath. It's been like this for well be an hour now. He refused to let you near him.

"Just let me cut it!"

"Fuck no!"

"Stop being a baby, let me cut it!" The two of you just kept going back and forth. It had to be when you made him breakfast that it first came up. He immediately disagreed but being the person you are... well... you pushed... and now here you are. 

"I rather die," you sucked in a heavy breath and pointed the scissors at him.

"You're being ridiculous, one haircut isn't going to kill you." You remarked back.

"Yes, it will."

"It looks like you have two fucking mice next to your ears!" You angrily said. You were getting fed up with all this really.

"They're my sideburns!" He tried to argue back. They were long gone from sideburns though.

"Sideburns my ass! They look like they're growing from your ears!" You laughed ever so slightly through the yells. You knew all the workers could hear you, but neither one of you cared. They still had no clue as to why you were there... but they knew not to ask about it.

"You're just jealous."

"Of what? Your ugliness?" You smirked ever so gently.

"You're one to talk." He hit back. Usually, a comment like that would hurt, but after him calling you ugly multiple times didn't affect you. You took them as compliments because he was so blinded by the beauty in front of him. Yes, you were indeed being that self-centered right now. If he could, you could. 

"Just let me fucking cut it!"

"No!"

"Fine!" You huffed and folded your arms. Elvis let out a sigh of relief and turned his back on you. That was a huge mistake. You made your way over to him and jumped up on him.

"Get off me!" Elvis tried to throw you off him but it failed miserably.

"Must be all that grease in you," you stuck your tongue out and grabbed some of his hair. He was quick to move his head, and even quicker to flip you around. You looked into his ice cold eyes.

"You're not touchin' my goddamn hair." He said and placed you back down on the ground. You rolled your eyes.

"I just wanted to trim it," you uttered out.

"I don' fuckin' care what you were going to do-"

"Miss, Y/l/n, there's someone on the phone for you." One of the ladies said. You nodded and started to walk away but turned to face him. You one again pointed your scissors at him.

"This isn't finished." You said and walked over to the phone. You picked it up and held it against your ear. You leaned gently against the wall.

"Yes?" You spoke softly.

"Y/n!" Your sister squealed. Your eyes widened. How did she get this number?

"What are you doing, Mary? You know not to call this number unless I call you." You placed the scissors down on the table.

"It's Arthur," she then said. You felt your heart drop. This conversation could go two different ways and god... you hoped it was the good one.

"Wh-what about him?" You asked. Elvis peered around the corner and spotted you near the phone. Leaned up against the wall. He couldn't see your face, but he could tell from your voice that something was wrong.

"He woke up," Mary said simply. You froze and felt your breathing spiked. While it was the news you wanted to hear... it still scared you.

"He- wait... he? He woke up?" You spoke in disbelief. You felt like you were dreaming really. Arthur had been in a coma for... years at this point. He missed a lot of your family achievements, especially your little brother growing up.

"Yeah, Mom and dad are at the hospital now. Can you take Andrew and me?" She asked. You bit the inside of your cheek. God, you wanted to say yes... you really did.

"I- I'm working, Mary... I-I can't exactly leave. Not to mention I don't have a car." You explained to her.

"Can't you get Elvis to bring us?" She asked. You let out a breath, somehow you knew she was going to ask that. Even past her having a huge crush on the boy...

"He can't-" you paused and quiet down, "There is no way Elvis would take us. He and I don't even get on good enough terms as it is."

"It's Arthur though. We need to see him." You frowned slightly and closed your eyes.

"Mary..." You breathed out.

"I can take you," you heard a voice behind you. You turned quickly and spotted Elvis looking at you. Was he listening to you the whole time? You narrowed his eyes, there had to be a catch. There was no way he would take you out of kindness.

"What's the catch?" You moved the phone away from your mouth. You didn't want your sister to hear you with her idol.

"You don't cut my hair." You sucked in a breath. You knew that was coming up, but you had to take him up on his offer. You had to go see Arthur, your siblings had to go see him. You let out a breath and held the phone against your ear once more.

"We'll be there soon." You went and hung up before your sister could answer. You looked over at Elvis.

"Fine, but this isn't the end of your hair." You held a finger up.

"That wasn't part of the plan." He stated. You let out a sigh and shook your head.

"Fine, just please." You sounded desperate. You remember going to the hospital countless times hoping he'd wake up... and now he finally was.

"Come on then," he said and started to head outside.

"Wait- Jesus Christ." You let out a breath and went to grab your cover up from the couch before following him out. You had to rush to keep up with his long longs. It wasn't long until you got into his Stutz Blackhawk. That's when the mind crossed you that his fans were about to see you, probably even the paparazzi.

"Ya gotta tell me where I'm goin'," he looked over at you.

"Oh right... right... uh, Humber Street." You told him. He nodded and started to drive. 

It felt like yesterday that you were arriving at Graceland. Granted it was two weeks ago... but it still felt new... and it held that same fear every time. Maybe it was still fresh because hundreds were about to see you, and assumed that you were Elvis' new fling. His new girlfriend. You didn't want that to get out. Especially with your sister. 

It didn't take long until you were at your family's housing unit. You told Elvis to wait in the car and you rushed up with the spare keys you had. As you entered the building you already saw your sister and brother waiting in the living room. When you saw them your heart broke. It was clear that your sister had been crying. You walked over to them and pulled your sister into a hug.

"Let's get going, yeah?" You said softly. Your sister nodded and pulled away. You grabbed hold of your younger brother's hand and looked at Mary. 

"Do you have everything?"

"Yes," she nodded and looked down the hallway toward Arthur's door. The door was closed and it's always said that way. No one went in... No one even dared to look. We all hoped it would soon be opened once more.

"Listen, I don't want you freaking out." You said to your sister as the three of you made your out of the complex.

"I can't promise that." She shook her head.

"Yes, you will. You are not going to mention that you're a fan. You say hi and say thank you, and that's it. You got that?" Mary frowned and nodded. You kept a hand on your brothers as you two got outside.

"Oh my god-" Mary breathed out as she spotted the car, and then Elvis inside of it.

"Cool it, Mary," you warned her. She whined gently. She was meeting her idol and she couldn't do anything but say hi and thank you. As you got to the car, you held up your chair so that your siblings could get situated in the back. once they were in and situated you got back into the front and closed the door. 

You looked over at Elvis and sent him a warning look. You didn't want him talking to your siblings, especially your sister. You were sure he could pinpoint who was a fan and who wasn't. It was all over Mary that she loved the man. He looked at you confused but just shrugged it off. You told him where to go and you guys got going.

The drive was silent for the most part. Your sister would occasionally ask questions, but you didn't answer all of them. You didn't want Elvis learning any more about you than what he just had. Your brother was just as quiet as Elvis was. Even though he did try to converse with your sister, you quickly canceled it out.

When you arrived at the front doors of the hospital you got out and helped your siblings out. Mary and Andrew stood by waiting for you as you turned towards Elvis.

"You're not going to leave right...?" You asked. He didn't answer right away, which let you know that he was thinking about it. You weren't exactly hurt... but... part of you was.

"No, I won'." He spoke after so long. You nodded and closed the door but paused again. You looked towards him through the window.

"Thank you, Elvis... really I mean it. I won't be long I promise." You said and closed the door. You grabbed your brother's hand and walked in.

Elvis watched as you walked away. There was something about seeing you hold your younger brother's hand. It reminded him of how he hadn't seen Lisa Marie in a long time. He was a shitty father... not all of the time... but... he should see his daughter more often than he does. Part of him wanted you to have his kid. That was crazy to think... Elvis shook his head and drove away from the front doors. 

The three of you made your way up to where your brother was situated. You knew the walk by now. You knew the numbers that surrounded his room. You knew where the bathrooms were, where the water fountains were. Everything was so familiar to you. As you approached the room you heard his voice as clear as day... well, it was raspy and cracking... but it was still his.

Mary pushed over the door and you saw Arthur sitting up. For once he looked alive. He wasn't as pale as he usually was. The blinds were opened... it felt like a completely different scene. Andrew let go of your hand and went over to your parents. Arthur smiled and turned his head. He spotted you and frowned. Your eyes immediately started to tear up.

You walked over to him and fell into his hug. He was only a couple of years older than you, but he taught you everything. He would beat up the guys that tried to take advantage of you. He was your idol really... well... he was until he got into drugs... into your medications. 

"I'm sorry," he spoke softly. You let out a sob and shook your head.

"No, I'm sorry." You pulled away and looked at him. He let out a stifled laugh and shook his own head in return.

"Well look at ya. So grown up. What're doing now?" He asked. 

"I'm working for Elvis." You replied.

"Oh, so she'll struggle to tell us but not Arthu- ow!" You heard your sister mumble from behind you.

"No shit, yeah?" He chuckled light. "You married yet?"

"God no," you shook your head, "wouldn't get married without you being there." He smiled at this.

"Well, I highly expect to be your maid of honor." You chuckled lightly and wiped away some of the few tears that had fallen.

"Always," you said gently.

"How'd you get here, anyways?" Your father asked.

"Elvis took us. I can't stay for long. In fact, I should be going." You spoke sadly. You didn't want to leave, but you couldn't leave Elvis to be in the car by himself. Your father raised an eyebrow at this.

"You can't stay?" Arthur asked.

"No... but I'll try and visit every chance I get. Once you're out we'll hang out. I'll call. The whole thing." You said with a smile. Arthur nodded and returned your smile. You gave him one last hug.

"I love you."

"I love ya too, rat." You chuckled at his nickname for you and pulled away. You gave your family much-needed hugs and you were soon walking out of the hospital. When you got outside your eyes searched the parking lot. It couldn't be that hard to find him. He was the only few people to have that type of car. It was more or less trying to pick it out from the many black cars in the lot.

Elvis hadn't stopped looking at the front doors since you disappeared behind them. Sure, he could drive up there and be nice... or he could watch you freak out trying to find where he was parked. It was a tough decision to pick between. After watching you start to freak out and start walking away, he then decided it was best to pick you up.

You heard the rev of an engine behind you and turned. You spotted that snarky bitch and rolled your eyes. You weren't even sure if you wanted to get in. At this point, you rather walk all the way back to Graceland and let all the fans see you.

"Come on, get in," you heard Elvis speak up. You just shook your head in response.

"I ain't getting in that car with you."

"Now, who's actin' like a child, huh? Get in." He was right. You were starting to act like a child. You let out a breath and turned around. You got into the car and let out a huff. You might've been annoyed, but it was clear that you felt relaxed and happy. 

"You seem happy," Elvis spoke after he pulled out of the hospital lot.

"Is that a bad thing?" You questioned.

"No... no it ain'," he shook his head and spoke softly. The rest of the drive back to Graceland was quiet. It wasn't as painful as before... it was nice. For once, Elvis wasn't bad company. Maybe it wasn't because he didn't speak, but... it was nice for once. Once you arrived back at Graceland you got out and started to head inside. Elvis followed behind you.

"Mr. Presley," one of the girls bowed to him, "The Colonel is here."

"Shit," Elvis muttered and rubbed his face.

"And Mr. Nic as well." She mentioned.

"Shit," you muttered next. 

"Right, where is he then?" Elvis asked as he closed the door. You could feel how close he was to you. You weren't uncomfortable... just... you didn't know how to feel.

"In your office. I-I couldn't stop him-"

"He knows damn well not to go up there." Elvis grew angry. He grabbed your hand and pulled you up the stairs. You gasped a little from the rough intake but you followed after him. It felt weird going upstairs. You were only up there once before to make sure he had no pill bottles in his bathroom, but that was about it.

"Ah, there's my boy." The colonel said as Elvis came into view. They hadn't acknowledged you yet, due to being behind Elvis.

"What do you want?" Elvis asked.

"Well, Dr. Nic is just a bit concerned is all. You haven't come to him in a while." The Colonel pointed out. It's been two weeks and they feel as if it's been years. 

"I'm perfectly fine," Elvis responded. He felt uncomfortable with both of them being here. He could've let go of your hand ages ago... but he kept holding on... like you were his lifeline. 

"Are you sure? You look a bit stressed there. I think I have-"

"N-No!" You spoke up and pushed yourself past Elvis. He gripped your hand as a warning.

"You're not giving that man any more drugs." You spoke confidently. You didn't know what came over you really. 

"And who exactly are you, little thing?" The Colonel asked. His grip was strong on his walking stick or whatever it was called. You didn't really care, he was trying to be imitating... and quite frankly it was not working.

"Little thing?" You were a bit offended really. You weren't that short... were you? You shook the thought out of your head. "Mr. Presley is no longer accepting anything you give him."

"And who gives you the right to say what he can and can't take?" Dr. Nic asked you. You let out a breath and tried your best to think of something. You could say Vernon sure... he did give you that responsibility, but you had a feeling they wouldn't exactly buy that or even care.

"I do," Elvis spoke from behind you. "I want you both out of my house immediately." 

"Son-"

"Don't call me son, just get out." Elvis shook his head. The Colonel looked over at Dr. Nic and nodded. It was like an unspoken promise. You knew they were up to something and you felt it was bad. Dr. Nic closed up his bag and stood up. "We apologize for barging in... we were just worried is all." The colonel said and started to walk past you and Elvis. The colonel and Dr. Nic both gave you an unpleasant look. They weren't the biggest fans of you entering Elvis' life.

You listened as they both made their way downstairs. You played a close ear as you waited for the front door to open and close. You let out a breath. If that was you just meeting him you could only imagine what it would be like when they're trying to shove drugs his way.

"You can cut my hair." You turned at that and looked at him.

"Really? Like, you ain't pulling my tail?"

"Don' make me regret it now," he replied and pulled you along towards his bathroom. You smiled happily. Maybe you and Elvis were finally about to get along. As you got into the bathroom Elvis took a seat on one of the stools in there. You searched for the scissors on the counter and picked them up.

"Don't move too much, unless you want a bald spot." You half-joked, but you were very much serious. 

You stood close to him as you started to trim up his hair. He kept his eyes on you, very intently and very closely. He would occasionally look in the mirror to see what you were doing. Most importantly, he was lost in your chest. It wasn't his fault. His face just happened to be eye level with your cleavage.

"You do realize ya boobs are right in my face," Elvis commented. You took a step back and looked at him.

"I'm surprised your complaining." You moved away from him so that he could no longer look at your cleavage. You moved to be behind him so that you could get his backside. 

"I wasn', just lettin' you know." He responded back.

"Mhm, sure. Look down." You said and gently pushed his head down. He muttered something under his breath that you couldn't understand but you shrugged it off.

You were slowly but surely started to feel insecure. Maybe you were wearing a bit of a too revealing outfit, but you were told to not look like a nurse. So, you brought your normal clothes. You wore an whole denim jumpsuit that hug your curves, and well... it did show off your cleavage. Maybe you should've kept your cover-up on.

"Hang on, don't move." You said and moved over to his room where you dropped your cover up. You pulled on the white thin piece  and covered yourself up. You walked back into the bathroom and noticed Elvis was looking at you. He gave you a confused look.

"Ya scared I'm gonna do somethin'?"

"No no," you shook your head. "Just... just got cold is all." You lied and went back to working on his hair. 

Elvis has learned over the years to know when people were lying to him. So it was clear to him that you were lying. He could've easily guessed that it was due to you being insecure. That wasn't his intention at all. He thought he was doing you a solid... turns out he just made you feel bad about yourself.

You placed the scissors down for a bit and ran your fingers through his hair trying to make sure you got everywhere you needed to trim. You took a step back to get a better look and bit your bottom lip. You picked up the scissors and trimmed of a few small bits.

"I'm trimming your sideburns now. Don't move... or I will cut your ear." You told her.

"Wouldn' want that now," he said softly with a chuckle. You smiled softly and got to work. You were once again close to him, but Elvis was careful. He didn't want you to feel anymore insecure so he looked towards the window. 

You finished a bit afterwards and admired your work. He was looking much more handsome now. The clean cut... It could send girls wild... well even more wild. 

"Have a look," you said and pulled away from him. He stood up and looked himself in the mirror. He ran his hands through his hair and smiled softly.

"Not that bad." He said as he continued to check out every possible inch of hair. 

"I would say you look handsome for once." You smiled. He looked at you shocked. 

"What happened to you findin' me ugly?" He smirked gently. 

"Oh you're still ugly." You chuckled lightly as you joked.

"Damn, I should send complain to my hairdresser." You gasped and grabbed hold of your heart.

"I did a damn good job. You'll have girls screaming over your hair." You commented and started to look for a dust pan to clean up. Elvis watched you through the mirror. He wasn't starting to feel things for you, right? He didn't want to. After finding the dust pan you started to clean up the black pieces of hair on the floor. You tossed the loose pieces into the trash can and looked over at him.

"I can get started on lunch if you'd like?" You suggested. He nodded slightly. 

"Yeah... That sounds good."

"Everything all right?" You asked after getting the sense that he wasn't.

"Yeah just, thinkin' is all," Elvis responded. You nodded and stepped out of the room. You made your way downstairs and headed towards the kitchen where you heard some of the girls gossiping.

"I saw them holding hands." One girl said. You paused in your step. You knew it was bad to eavesdrop but you were curious. 

"I saw that two, and then next thing you know the colonel and Dr. Nic are walking out." Another girl said.

"I asked her why she was here and she said for Vernon. If that's the case, why is she staying here? And hanging around, Elvis. It doesn't make sense." You noticed this girls voice. She had to be the girl who helped you on your first day.

"You don't think they're in a relationship do you? I've seen a lot of girls come up in here but... she's something else... and not for a good reason." You sucked in a breath and shook your head. You couldn't let these girls get to you. You weren't even in a relationship with Elvis... These comments shouldn't hurt.

"She dresses weird also,"

"Did you see what she was wearing today? She basically had her boobs out." "She was probably begging for Elvis to notice and fuck her."

"I tried sneaking into her room the other day, but then someone came in. She's got to be hiding something."

"I mean yeah, there's no way she's just here to help Vernon. If that was the case she would be staying at his house."

"What if she's here to...  I don't know... kill him." You felt your breathing hitch. You took a step back towards the front door. You heard the sound of jewelry and heavy footsteps making their way downstairs. You didn't bother looking up. You knew where it was. 

"Shh, shh, here he comes." The girls said in a hushed tone. 

Elvis took one look at you and watched as you rushed out of the house. He was confused and knew damn well he didn't do anything to make you mad at him. Unless he did... He trailed down the rest of the stairs and walked into the kitchen where he found all his workers together. He raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What were ya girls doing?" He asked.

"Just talking, Mr. Presley." The blond responded to her boss. Elvis didn't know the name to any of his workers. Well, besides you of course.

"I like your haircut." Another one of the girls spoke.

"I agree, you look very handsome." One of the girls nodded in agreement. Elvis nodded. Usually he was very accepting of every compliment, but it didn't feel like the one you gave him. You said the same words... but it felt different.

"Do ya know why, Y/n, rushed outside?" He then asked. The girls looked at each other confused. They had no idea who you were, let alone your name. They all just called you whore or slut.

"Who?"

"That girl that's been around me. H/c hair, e/c eyes?" He explain your appearance.

"Oh! The slu-" he watched as one of the girls nudge the other. He knew what they were about to say.

"What's your name?" He asked the girl that just spoke. 

"Lisa," she responded with a smile on her face.

"Well Lisa, you're fired." He held no emotion on his face. Quite frank, he didn't need toxic people in his life. You were trying to help him, and he didn't appreciate bad things being said to you.

"Wha- what... why? I-"

"Get out. Actually... You're all fired." Elvis looked at all the girls. He didn't need the help really. You were there now. You made him food, you cleaned occasionally... but he didn't need all these workers here. 

"But-"

"Just leave." He pinched the bridge of his nose. The girls just nodded and made their way out of the house.

You stared out towards the fountain and tried to ease yourself down. You were being dramatic... You knew that. It's just... You've never heard such things before. Were his fans really like this? It's like they all felt like they owned Elvis. You were just the nurse. You were there for work, just like they were. 

Maybe you're just so caught up in your feelings because of everything that had happened so far. It was just past noon and you felt so many emotions. You wanted the day to be over already. You and Elvis fought... like always, and then you get the call that Arthur woke up? And Elvis decides to be nice and drive you... and then holds your hand... I mean...

You didn't know what to say... you didn't know what to do...

I wanted to talk a bit at the very end of this. I don’t know how many of y’all will read this but… it’s… I mean… the love I’m getting… it’s amazing. Some of it is making me cry. You guys really love this series and I really hope I can keep living it up to your expectation.

That being said, I don’t know when Part 3 will be posted. I’m taking a break. You won’t see a post from me tomorrow unless it’s Headcanons or just reblogs. Saturday I’d like to get something out, but I can’t promise.

Just the Nurse is something I enjoy writing, but it’s also something that have me scratching my head. Sometimes it’ll take a near hour to have everything down to eight hours or so. I appreciate your patience with this as well.

Part 3 so far… I don’t have much written. It begins with angst, and then goes extremely sad. At some point it will have smut. I have a part 4 in mind… I might be able to crank out a part 5 but that would be the end of Just The Nurse. 

I’m working on a project currently and I don’t know. I’m a bit worried that it won’t be as popular but she says that it very much will be. I don’t want to give too much away, but that’ll mostly likely be coming out at some point.

I want to get Elvis up and out again. It’s hitting me like a ton of bricks really. I jump from chapter to chapter. My head honestly hurts and I need to make myself work on one thing at a time.

Thank you for everyone who listened to me here. I don’t want my break to be long because I really really love writing and I love writing about Elvis. 

If you haven’t already check out my story/series Elvis. I put a lot of time and effort into it. I think it doesn’t get as much love because the reader has a name and set features. I still put so much time and effort into it, because I love it so much. 

I also have a tone of other things I have written. I know Caught In a Trap Pt. 2 doesn’t have as much love as Part 1 got and it doesn’t bother me too much. I know the smit was extremely bad on that, but I promise the smut gets better. 

And of course, if you have requests shoot them my way. I am still working on that Austin Butler request, but Just The Nurse is really taking over right now. I just want to make sure that.. that’s all finished and it’s all good before I put my attention towards something else.

I appreciate everyone who likes, comments, and reblogs. Comments really do mean the whole world to me. I love hearing feedback, I love hearing what you guys have to say... It really does mean a lot to me.

Mutual Taglist: @darlinboypresley @emmymaehereeeeee @venus-haze @austinstyles

[alatismeni-theitsa]

fooor the love of bougatsa please respect the language of the most ancient hymns of the Greek gods you worship and really take in that the word "Hellenic" is actually the Greek word for "Greek". Realize that Greeks use it and have been using it generations ago, and that you are probably - unintentionally - misusing it today.

You don't say "I am a Norse" if you are a "Norse pagan", or a "Norse polytheist". You don't say "my religion is Slavism" when you are taking the worship of ancient Slavic gods. So please make sure you are using the Greek word correctly and don't say that you are just "a Hellenic"? Ok so what, why am I talking about grammar all of a sudden?

The main reason I'm emphasizing this is: do you know what the "Hellenic community"/"Hellenism"/"Hellenismos" is literally used for? The Greek people. The Greek community. The Greek culture. That's how Greeks self-identify and characterize their culture consistently since the creation of our state, the Hellenic Republic.

I am not saying don't use the word "Hellenic". I am saying use it appropriately! But please don't use "Hellenismos"/"Hellenism" as a substitute for "Hellenic polytheism".

The ancient religion with the name "Hellenismos" is not the same as a generic worship of some Greek gods today. It referred to a specific ancient belief system that I haven't seen one Hellenic polytheist online use. (Maybe they exist but they are very rare)

It baffles and upsets many Greeks when they learn about how foreign polytheists are using the terms. The younger ones have a milder averse reaction but if I say it to my Greek aunt or parents? Ooof... It's going to blow their mind and not in a good way. Because for them/us the fact that's they miss you are very important words for "Greek" and "Greekness" while loving the ancient Greek culture and religion shows disrespect. It's disrespectful to the people who are on average the most exposed to the myths and Hellenic antiquity since birth, and safekeep the heritage and cultural riches of our country.

I know that "Hellenismos"* has been used wrong for some years now but can the foreign community slowly unlearn it? It's not a traditional Anglophone name, or so blended with the English language that such use is normalized in Anglophone societies. Its modern use is very recent and it started by misinformed individuals (who may or may not had viewed Greek culture in a fetishizing way) back when things were not very culturally sensitive, and we were viewed by the international community as not being capable enough to care for our Parthenon marbles.

*or it's English version, "Hellenism"

If many Greek scholars hadn't left for Central Europe after the fall of Constantinople, you wouldn't have so much material or interest about our antiquity today. We were never cut from the myths and the gods, even if it's not our ethnic religion, and we safekept many things in the face of danger (no exaggeration here). Apparently I need to state the obvious fact that the Greek people of all eras were an organic part of the process that lead you to learn about these gods.

Please respect our traditional identification terms as a nation. It's not much to ask.

* I already have some posts on this matter and I can link them for you if you ask, but that's the gist of it. As you understand I'm not going to hunt down anyone with a pitchfork. I am just taking the issue out there one more time.

[chernikastan]

You know, this one particular phrase from Gou in episode 133 bothered me when I first watched the ep and it still bothers me a lot, even though I think I know why it's there now:

Hi hello I'm back with a textwall about Gou lmao. So yeah, what bothered me about this line in particular was that it came pretty much out of nowhere. Even worse, his character arc throughout the whole show had been him learning to let others in and letting them help him instead of going on ego trips all the time. So for 100+ episodes we have this slow and imo great build up to Gou learning exactly that. To communicate with his Pokémon and people, to work together with them instead of denying help because he had always been on his own when younger. Then suddenly this sentence is meant to be a new and important realisation of his and leads to a sudden 180 arc in the last few episodes of him lamenting being too reliant on Satoshi and others in general. And that's why he has to travel on his own now. You know, if there had been clear build up to that, I wouldn't have minded that conclusion at all. People first being reluctant to trust anyone and then clinging too much to someone to a point where they're scared of doing anything if they're not around is a very real thing and a nice idea for a character arc. But the issue here is that the "too dependent" sentiment suddenly happened in the last four episode of the series, with no signs whatsoever beforehand that he was over relying on his Pokémon or Satoshi. Quite the opposite, he's always been perfectly fine with doing things on his own. It's noticeable that he was still worried about having to work with others without Satoshi around, but the entire Project Mew arc took care of that. As for the Pokémon, he's often taken the role of the person the Pokémon rely on too, an obvious example being Grookey. The very episode he says this and its follow up even focus on Grookey taking the role of the protector instead of the protected for once. Also whenever Gou does rely on his Pokémon, it's in situations where he obviously would have to, unless he thinks he's a prick for having his physically stronger Cinderace battle a Pokémon instead of him himself throwing fists with idk, Mewtwo lol.

So even though him saying he's spooked of travelling alone and being too scared to tell Satoshi directly while Satoshi comforts him is a cute scene in the end, it is also a decision on Gou's end that didn't have any build up. Him saying in the episode prior that he chose this because he'd rely on Satoshi too much didn't have any build up.

Anipoke is no stranger to throwing in jarring decisions at the end to justify the existence of the next series, Game Shark user Tobias from DPP being probably the most obvious and famous example of that. But, correct me if I'm mistaken, it's never harmed an individual character's writing that much. Heck, it's never harmed a relationship between two characters as much. Satoshi and Gou had been built up as these best friends 5ever who slowly become closer and closer throughout the series. Gou says in the second to last episode that he thinks Satoshi would totally just tell him to go for it, to do the solo journey if he feels like it. It's exactly what he said too, so Gou certainly understands his buddy by now. However, this scene would have been the perfect opportunity to have Satoshi be called out on his niceness there, because sure he's a nice and supportive dude. But we know that he enjoys hanging out with Gou. We know that he misses him when he's not around. Heck, we see in the last episode, when they seperate, that he's not exactly happy to part ways with his friend. He completely puts Gou's sudden desire to travel by himself over his own desire to keep being around his friend. As if there's some outside force that forces them to separate against their will. As if they didn't have a choice but to go separate ways because what they wanted to do was impossible with the other around. But in the epilogue (and MPM) they literally do the same things they did together the 100+ episodes prior, so there clearly was no narrative reason for this.

So with all that said. Sorry for the longass text lol, I was thinking about just throwing this into my Satogou essay, but I don't think it really fits there so here we go. SO WITH ALL THAT SAID I think MPM's existence, the way the series goes, the knowledge of what the last episode seems to be about, the knowledge of the change of executive producer between JN and MPM and Yuyama's Animedia interview about MPM, I think the reason for the sudden change in character makes sense. Hear out my super kewl theory

The Yuyama interview makes it sound quite clear that MPM wasn't exactly planned ahead, unlike decisions like Satoshi winning the PWC and making way for a new series this year. It feels oddly disconnected from the series, because even though Satoshi uses old Pokémon and briefly travels with Misty and Brock again, the places they visit are deliberately nameless. And the episodes themselves, while conceptually just like any other "helping Pokémon of the day" episode prior, have little connection to stuff that happened in the actual show outside of small references like Rattata or Beedrill. While we still have to see the conclusion to the Latias plot, it feels more like a spontaneous idea to connect these 10 episodes until the last one than anything.

Oh also a relevant tidbit of information is that Yuyama equated the title of Pokémon Master to a rainbow, e.g. something you're fascinated by and try to reach without ever being actually able to. Might explain JN's heavy usage of rainbows, at least to some extend.

In conclusion, I think what has happened is that JN was written with it being Satoshi's last series in mind. And Gou has been written as the ideal counterpart to him, basically. He's essentially the Lugia to Satoshi's Ho-oh if you wanna, hence both of these mons appearing in the last JN ep. So from his conception, Gou was never meant to go separate ways with Satoshi. But then they realised they have three whole months to fill until the new series is able to premiere. And the idea of MPM was basically born, Misty and Brock as a no brainer nostalgia bait (as per Yuyama's words, the decision to have them be the companions for MPM was so certain he doesn't even remember how they got to the conclusion), episodes that fill the void until the new show etc. Of course to recreate the og trio, they'd have to get rid of anyone but Satoshi from the previous show. How do you get rid of a character that has been established as basically having no reason to leave the other main character and who's relationship with said character had been highlighted so much in both the show and promotional material? You just make up a reason lmao.

And yeah, I mean, as I said, Anipoke is no stranger to sudden decisions like that. Shudo, the chief director from OS to Johto said how he wanted to give the show a proper ending and wasn't able to because the show had to go on. The DPP series was clearly written to build up to Satoshi winning the league (and him potentially getting replaced entirely, since Gen 5 was initially meant to be a fresh new start to the franchise). XY also very clearly was building him up to win the league. Each time it was stuff that happened in the last few episodes that certainly didn't look like they were anywhere near planned ahead. And I am almost 100% certain the same happened in JN with Gou and the sudden change of heart in these last few episodes.

Had to write all this because not only did the decision itself bother me of course (don't get me wrong, I am genuinely looking forward to the new series and MPM had its neat moments so far, but the way JN, Satoshi's series and Gou ended was a wholeass mess imo) but other I've kinda been frustrated about how many people went "hahah told yall so Gou would leave XD GOne" (that pun IS funny tho). Like, no you guys, a broken clock is also right twice a day yada yada. I highly doubt yall saw MPM coming. I high doubt yall expected Satoshi's story to end. I highly doubt you could have been able to tell me what reasoning they'd come up with to have Gou and Satoshi separate. You guys' reasoning had always just been "because they always did it (except for the times they didn't)". Because the thing is, I had written them all up at some point, but all the arguments for Gou staying were based on what the series itself presented and relied 1) on Satoshi staying and 2) the producers of the show not changing their mind last moment to justify the existence of the next series. I'm gonna go ahead and assume the executive producer of JN (Tomiyasu) saw more importance in Gou and Satoshi's relationship and Gou's importance as a character, given that he's probably partially responsible for it being a thing in the first place, than the executive producer of MPM (Yuyama), who has worked on the series as it started and notably would rather stick to the traditions of the show instead of trying out new things. That's why JN's ending feels so out of nowhere and that's probably also why MPM feels so disconnected from the rest of the series, almost more like a spin-off. While Tomiyasu is much more keen on bringing new ideas and concepts into the series. You can see that, as once he started having a bigger influence on the series with Sun and Moon, there's notable changes in setting, writing of characters etc.

Now this was a really long rant fr lol oops. Uhhh... Gou best boi, I am glad the Satogou fandom is still alive and kicking, stay gold, Satogou Day is in two days and I completely forgot about it tho oops

[romanarose]

Hi Roman! Loooove your HCs re: the TF boys. Could I pls ask you what you think would be the biggest sources of contention when it comes to each guy and their SO & how they handle relationship conflict?

Hello, wonderful human! Sorry it took so long for me to respond. Been cranking out fics to catch up and prepare for everything lol!!!

Happy to answer you! I'll be focusing mostly on the guys issues, not so much readers, but we all bring out own things into relationships.

Warnings: Addiction, ptsd, general relationship issues

I think everything should be gender neutral, correct me if i missed something.

More HC's here

Santiago

Commitment.

My dude can't commit to a thing.

I imagine after the movie events he went to see yvonna.... and then left after a few months bc he's a mess.

First arguement you get into he;s like "fine! I'll just leave then, clearly this isn't working"

And you give your best ????? face.

Santi you dumbass.

But you don't give up that easily! You're a menace to society.

You make him face down the issue, talk to you, and *gasp* share how he feels!

When its resolve, you tell him he can't just threaten to leave when he gets frustrated. If he wants to leave he needs to be honest, but he can't hide away under one small issue.

You ask if he really wants to leave. He says no so fucking fast.

He admits he hasn't had any stability in his life like... ever. Immigrant family, military, then his less-than-legal missions... but he wants to make it work with you

You have to work to find a balance between not letting him run away but not forcing him to stay.

But it works. Santi finds you easier and easier to talk to about things and soon enough, he's been with you for a year and theres still no itch to leave.

Ben

Benny Miller is a goof ball.

That's why you fell in love with him in the first place!

But he's not the most mature. He struggles to be serious, even when he wants to. That's the issue. You don't want to dampen his shine, you love him how he is

Thing is, you've been together 6 months and you still feel like you're casually dating.

There was no big "I love you".

He simple kissed your cheek saying goodbye, said "love you!" and dashed off to his friends.

But you did love him, you loved him so much but you weren't sure he was invested as you were. Maybe he wasn't ready for a serious relationship or you were more of a casual date to him...

Benny notices your mood change pretty quickly. He may be dumb but he's not stupid

(This is a joke Benny is canonically a highly skilled and talented individual I love him so much.)

"What am I to you?"

You ask him and it starts a whole discussion. You're surprised to find he's listening intently to what you have to say, takes in your words well.

You express how it hurts that every time he says "love you" It's the same tone of voice he uses with his friends or brother. He makes you feel like you're "one of the guys" but you're having sex.

Benny pauses and gathers his words before expressing that he does love you, very deeply. He thinks about marrying you... he just struggles to express it verbally. After some talking, you introduce him to the idea of love languages.

You figure out Benny loves receiving with words of affirmation and thats what he gets stuck on. He can't express well through words, so he thinks he's fucked.

You take the time to talk about the other four, and ways he can express through those.

After this talk, you feel much better and Ben makes you feel so, so loved and special.

(He also makes sure to say his "I love you" during sex or more initmate moments, not just in passing, letting you know that he really, really does.)

Will

Fear.

You probably expected PTSD, didn't you?

Well thats a part of it. His PTSD does affect his life but I think he's scared to lose you and scared to hurt you.

Will keeps you at arms length. Maybe you're a friend of Ben's and are around a lot and clear chemistry!! But nothing is happening

Finally you confront him. Bestie you can't keep lingering touch on my arm if you're not gonna fuck me about it.

Will is def the most straight forward and self aware so he's gonna be honest.

"I choked a man out in a grocery store for not moving his cart fast enough and almost killed him, my fiance left me after that, I've got 33 confirmed kills and also I watched one of my best friends die and carried his dead body over the fucking Andes, man."

A lot to unpack there!!!!

He tells you he's afraid he's going to lose you if he lets you get too close. He's afraid of hurting you.

You tell him he's sweet but he should also go to therapy.

You go with him to the first appointment.

Will I think is the easiest bc I just think hes the most mature and open

Frankie

Addiction

My dude hates himself.

And literally any feeling he's like "well time to do some coke about it."

It wasn't a big deal when you just started dating. You knew he did coke sometimes on weekends and rationalized that it can't be that big a deal, it's like drinking, right?

(Im 26 now and realizing how many people casually do coke is wild to me. None of my business tho.)

But soon you realize just how bad it's gotten. He's high almost all the time. Then his liscense comes under review. Then the trip to south america...

You don't think he's ever even sober, and you're worried about him, worried his heart is going to give out. Sometimes you stay awake watching him breath just to be sure.

Finally you can't take it anymore. You never wanted to to be the ultimatum party but you can't do this, you're suffering and so is he. He either gets sober or you leave. You didn't care how long it took, you didn't care if he relapsed but he needed to start trying.

Frankie ops to go to rehab. It's best, because he's gonna need to detox first.

You visit often, almost every day, making sure his friends all knew when visit times were and sometimes going as group, sometimes separate but always making sure someone came by every single day so he knew he wasn't alone.

90 days later, Frankie comes out a new man. He's cheeks fuller and pants tighter but his smile bigger.

He's gonna be okay and so are you.

Tom

He's dead

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!! I love tf boys head cannons <3

[asoiaf-source]

ASOIAF: Stark Family Mentions

I did this a long while ago and then set them aside, but I took another look and thought maybe someone would be interested in this.

There seems to be a lot of discussion around the Stark family relationships and how close they are or think about each other. So, I basically went through the Stark POVs (+ Theon and Jeyne Poole) and noted all the instances they are mentioned / remembered in other POVs. I went the extra mile and also did searches for father, mother, brother, sister, etc. to catch any mentions that might not have referenced the character by name, this was especially important for father and mother mentions with the kids.  

Again, this isn’t meant to be a definitive record, I did searches and did my best to count, and use context for the counts, but I might have miss one here or there, but the info is to the best of my ability and intention. This gives an overall impression of how often they are on their mind, but you still need to look at the books to get the context and break down the actual relationships.

Also, after doing the more straightforward number of mentions, I felt the idea was a little skewed if the characters actually interacted together, of course those numbers would be higher just because of proximity and plot, so I also did charts trying to adjust for this, so you can see the number of times they mention each other without being in the same room / story line.

I would like to stress that removing the interactions isn’t to diminish their impact, those interactions are important and tell us a lot too, but it just didn’t really reflect the idea of mentions / memories when they are AWAY from their family. So I did both charts so you can make the comparisons. By the end of the first book most of the family is separated, so those are the numbers that were most affected.

I also decided to combine books 4 and 5 into one to save some space and they were supposed to be one book anyway, split into two. 

I would also like to note that mentions of Catelyn, Arya, and Sansa are higher mostly because Eddard was actually interacting with his wife and daughters, so of course their mentions would be higher. Bran is also slightly higher as he had his accident, so of course he was on his mind even while away. Since most of the time there is nothing to worry about back home, Ned’s thoughts don’t really turn to Robb, Jon, or Rickon until the end which is why their numbers are low.

I know that Jon’s seems small, but most of their interactions early on in book 1 take place within Jon’s POVs and I didn’t cross count mentions within other POVs, maybe I should have... but I kinda just stuck to the individual POV as it was easier with the search, would probably need to pull out the books for something more comprehensive and I don’t have THAT kind of time.

Similarly, Catelyn’s mentions of Eddard and Robb are higher as she is actually interreacting with them in her POV, especially Robb as he has no POV. But clearly her children are on her mind, Bran especially because of his accident. 

Theon is also rather high because she also interacts with him in book 1, and it is in her POV where we see the reactions to his betrayal and taking of Winterfell as well as the ‘death’ of Bran and Rickon.

I feel like Robb’s huge number of mentions kinda skews the others, their numbers are decent they just look smaller in comparison. It is just that she is our eyes on Robb and of course they are fighting a war. So I did a chart that leaves out all the mentions of Robb and Eddard, and adjusts for interactions just to reflect the mentions better.

Jon and his struggle to live up to his father’s example and his struggles with leadership, along with his identity issues have Eddard on Jon’s mind more than anyone else. Jon also struggles with Robb loss and his memories of Robb resurface often. Jon also interacts with Arya and Bran earlier in the series, and then of course fArya’s situation brings Arya back into Jon’s thoughts in the last book. 

I removed the actual interactions (Jon I & Jon II) and just left the mentions and thoughts about each other. This reduced the mentions of Eddard, Bran, Arya, Catelyn, and Robb the most. It is still notable how high Eddard and Robb mentions are on his mind.

I decided to add Theon’s POV to the mix as he did spend quite a lot of time with the Starks and his chapters deal with them and Winterfell. This is also where I decided to start counting Jeyne Poole mentions, for similar reasons and that her story is very much intertwined with Theon and Arya of House Stark.

Theon also has daddy issues and has complicated thoughts about Eddard and Robb. Bran and Rickon are also fairly high as Theon actually interacted with them when he took Winterfell and drove them from their home.

Arya and Jeyne Poole’s stories really can’t be separated, as most of the mentions of Arya are mostly in reference to Jeyne being able to play her part, or Theon comparing the two and reminding Jeyne that she is now Arya, or calling her Lady Arya, etc. There are a few memories specifically about Arya, but most are just referencing her due to the situation. You really can’t understand Arya mentions without Jeyne also being acounted for.

Bran’s highest mentions are with Robb, and mostly in book 1 as they are interacting and Bran is our eyes on what Robb is doing and feeling. Eddard’s situation and death also affect Bran and has him in his thoughts a lot, and learns more about him from the Reed’s stories and his green dreams. Bran spends the most time with Rickon and travels with him, and he also thinks about Jon more as he begins his travels beyond the wall and wargs into Summer more. 

Bran’s thoughts about his family really start to go down after book 3, only his father is mostly on his mind, and that is because he is learning more about young Ned. Arya is slightly higher too because of his green dream of Lyanna and the children of the forest remind him of her.

Really need to explore Bran’s and Ned’s relationship more.

Sansa spend most of her time interacting with Arya and her father in book 1 which is why their mentions are so high. Once she is on her own the numbers even out. Sansa thinks about Robb and her mother most in book 2 and 3 as they are fighting against the crown and she is hoping they will rescue her. Sansa also thinks more about her parents once she is in the Vale and Baelish’s fixation with her mother, Lysa’s accusations about her mother, and Baelish insistence on Sansa call him father, bring them both to mind more often in her thoughts.

Sansa also has a sudden jump in Bran mentions in book 3 when Tyrion mentions him (special saddle) to her and of course when she learns of his and Rickon’s deaths. Sansa’s thoughts on her family also reduce a lot by the last book, once she is truly in her Alayne role.

Again, Eddard and Sansa spend the most time actually interacting with Arya on the page in book 1. The second chart removes all the interactions and direct story related mentions and only leaves the mentions and memories, of course this reduces Sansa and her father’s numbers, it also reduces Jon’s (Arya I) where he said goodbye and gave her Needle.

It is clear Arya spends a good amount of time thinking about her father in book 2 and 3, not only processing his death but also remembering his words. 

Arya also is traveling to meet Robb and her mother, so they are also on her mind a lot while on the road and trying to get to them, especially her mother. Sansa’s mentions are pretty consistent too in her thoughts. Part of this is due to her thoughts about her mother and Sansa comparisons, and the other is her travels with Sandor.

I’d say that Jon, Robb and Bran are also pretty consistently in her thoughts too.  The number’s are reduced too by the last book, but Arya usually mentions her family all together, so their numbers line up fairly well (baseline of Rickon with 4), with slight more going to Jon (favorite). She is the most consistent in remembering them all, probably because it is part of what drives her.

- - -

Well, this was a basic run down, I could really go more in-depth with each character, but this was my general impressions on why some mentions seem larger than others. I’m sure this isn’t perfect, I was just trying to get a basic idea.

Like with Eddard. I do find it very interesting how high Eddard Stark is mentioned / remembered by nearly everyone, even though he was killed in book 1, he certainly left an impact on all of his children, even Theon. If I just look at the mentions of Ned from book 2 on after his death and the initial shock of it, you can really get a picture of how often he is remembered in their thoughts.

Jon - 85 times, Catelyn - 63 times, Arya - 60 times

Bran - 55 times, Theon - 52 times, Sansa - 21 times

* If you think I made a grievous error and a number is wrong, let me know - I’ll look at it again and fix it.