#i like sadness

[ajaxslibrary]

Foolish One - Gojo Satoru x Reader

a/n: this little piece popped into my head listening to Taylor Swift, and each bit is themed after the lyric that prefaces it

-

My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand

I've long given up hiding my affections for Satoru. Most people don't recognise my reactions and the ones that do won't be fooled by my faking. So, I give up.

I cut my eyes from my book to him when he walks in the room. I tilt my head when he speaks. I set aside what I'm working on when he tries for my attention.

Satoru though treats me the same as everyone else. Carefully guarded, a jokester, a tease.

Chances are tonight you've already got plans, and chances are I will talk myself to sleep again

Of course, Satoru is going out drinking with some of our co-workers. I should've known.

It's okay. At least I have my own company. That's all I'll ever truly need. Bound to always have only my own words, thoughts, and company. I've gotten used to it.

I'm okay on my own.

That's what I tell myself at least.

You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high

"(y/n)-san! Oi~! Wanna try this mochi? I got it from the new place in Shibuya!" Satoru jogs to catch up with me on my walk to the train station. "It's matcha with red bean filling."

"I- yeah, sure. I like mochi."

An understatement. Mochi is my favourite sweet. Satoru knows that. He never offers me anything else. Unless he takes me to ramen for a meeting.

He holds out a piece of mochi for me and I take it tentatively. I love mochi, I love red bean paste, but... I don't like matcha. I take a small bite.

"This isn't matcha."

"Is it not?"

I can tell from the small smirk that Satoru already knew. It was just sweet red bean mochi, my favourite, dyed a matcha green.

I can't help the way my heart starts to beat a little faster in my chest.

"Is it good? Is it good? I haven't tried it yet, does it have the mochi master seal of approval?"

I feel heat rise to my cheeks at the thought he wanted to know what I thought of the mochi before trying it himself.

"It's good. The last place was better, but this is really good."

"Score! Thanks, (y/n)-san!"

And the voices say "You are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson"

A little box is waiting on my desk. Tied up with a pretty bow, the tag of my favourite sweet shop on one of the tails. My heart starts pounding when I hear my phone go off with Satoru's text tone.

'You like your present?'

A giddy smile crosses my lips and I race to open the box. Three red bean mochi and three sesame mochi. He knows me too well.

I whip out my phone and type up a quick response, thanking God that the racing of my heart and the happiness overflowing from it can't carry over text.

'Yeah, thanks'

I know he doesn't love me the way I want him to. He's the strongest, surely he's above love.

But oh, I can hope.

Foolish one stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come

It's a dance we do every day. I check my email, half-hoping to see a beautiful, melodramatic, wonderful love confession from Satoru, he swings by my office to say hi, I try to keep my caged heart from escaping through my throat as he smiles at me.

And oh what a smile.

It's a dance we do every day. I've long memorised its steps.

Because every day my half-hopes are disappointed. Every day he says hi and gives me a beautiful smile that makes my heart beat faster. And every day it takes everything in me to not profess my undying love to Gojo Satoru.

Don't know what to call this situation but I know I can't call you mine

I take a deep breath as the weight of Satoru almost presses into me. Contact undoubtedly prevented by infinity. I glance over to look at him and he grins.

"What are you working on?"

Satoru is draped over me, his lips right next to my ear. I'm hyper-aware of him now.

"Um, I'm working on, ah, working on a lesson plan for one of my students."

Satoru shifts as I talk so one arm is dropped down the front of my torso.

"(y/n)-san," I can hear the frown in Satoru's voice when he says my name. "Do you not trust me?"

I do. I trust you with my life. That frightens me.

"I trust you." Completely. Utterly. Wholly. Entirely. I trust you.

"Why did you get so tense the moment you knew I was here?"

I hadn't noticed. But I know why.

"Because if I let go then I will break. I will not be a burden."

He does not need to know how I love him. I know. And that is enough. That must be enough.

'Cause when my head is on your shoulder it starts thinkin' you'll come around

I lean my head onto Satoru's shoulder on the train. Well, almost. He laughs at me.

"Tired?"

I don't give a proper answer, just a quiet mumble. Then I feel a tingly warmth cover my body, and my face makes contact with soft, warm fabric.

"Sleep well."

I think I say thank you. It must have sounded strange, because Satoru chuckles before responding softly.

"You're welcome. Now rest, I can protect us both."

You will learn the hard way instead of just walking out

The dance stops abruptly. Satoru doesn't swing by my office to say hi. And he doesn't smile at me when we pass in the hall.

There's mochi on my desk though. From the new place in Shibuya. I take a tentative bite of one, and it's matcha with red bean filling. Maybe last time was an accident.

I can't stand matcha.

Satoru knows that.

When my phone goes off with his text tone, I glance down, ignoring the warning beats of my heart like an ominous drum.

'I'm sorry'

Oh you haven't written me or called but goodbye's screamin' in the silence

I break as soon as I'm home. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to vomit. I want to cut my hair off. But more than anything else.

I want to die.

There aren't many things I hate in this world.

I hate matcha. I hate failing. I hate watching a student ignore my teachings. I hate feeling disregarded. I hate when people go back on their word.

But more than anything else, I hate goodbyes without words.

And there are many things I love in this world that cannot love me in return.

I love sweet red bean paste. I love mochi. I love ramen. I love pocky. I love coffee. I love seeing someone progress. I love being protected. I love protecting others.

And more than I love anything else, unfailingly, unswervingly, unconditionally.

I love Gojo Satoru.

[shslpunkartist99]

1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road? & 2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

1) MFD 1 was a stumble, and MFD2 was STARTING as a stumble, but I figured out the plot real quick. Symbol would've been a stumble had we not gone on this journey together, so I'm certain how that's gonna go lol. It's usually a stumble though

2) Tryna remember if I was gonna have Keith die in MFD... I remember considering it, but I decided against it (made a reader unhappy with that lol). I think I was gonna keep Keith voiceless in the first fic I wrote of the trio, but that plan changed too. I doubt this answers the question, but it's the best I got lol

[scramratz]

Did you know it’s legal in the USA for mattress companies to put fiberglass in their mattresses? They don’t even have to label them! So if you wanna commission me so I can buy a new bed I won’t stop you

[artsymeeshee]

Felt a need to draw hugs (thinking about sea grunks has made me extra emotional :’))

[herbgerblin]

Atlanta miku lol. Inspired by the looks I often see at the Underground or at streetwear festivals.

ID: A drawing of Hatsune Miku as a black woman with long, curly hair in braids and afro puffs. She's wearing a black, pink, grey, and blue ensemble that mixes athletic gear and hip-hip inspired street clothes. A large pink tote bag is slung over one shoulder. She appears to be waving one arm while jogging. End ID.

[bardofavon]

not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…

‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.

even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.

I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.

fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.

idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.

[gentil-minou]

Everytime I see posts like this I get filled with such profound sadness

Cause you know who has the same brainrot as you? The same unhinged feelings as you after you've read the fic? The person who always wants to scream about the fic with you?

THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT

I never used to leave comments but since I got into the habit of commenting on everything i enjoy it's been incredible. Especially when the author gets back to me about it and we get to have a discussion of what other ideas they had. One writer replied to my comment with a 5 paragraph essay detailing the Floorplan of the building the characters lived in and it was incredible

Anyways this is all to say that if you find a fic that just makes you want to scream from the rooftops, leave a comment saying that to the author and maybe they will join you and you can scream incoherently together

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[chloesimaginationthings]

Pomni and Gummigoo reunite in TADC!

[gendernewtral]

gilbert baker designed his flag with the express purpose of it including every single queer person. baker was so dedicated to making sure his flag was inclusive that he added another stripe in 2017, lavender, to represent diversity. the concept that it’s for white gay men came around later and needs to be changed.

can we please go back to associating the original flag, and ideally the modern rainbow flag, with inherent inclusion of every single queer person? instead of deciding that the original wasn’t good enough? personalized flags are important for representing those who have typically been excluded from the queer community, but reclaiming the original flag as a symbol of inclusion is important too.

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

[happyheidi]

𝖠𝗇 𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗍𝗎 𝗉𝗁𝗈𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝖻𝗈𝗋 𝖼𝖺𝗍

[spoopdeedoop]

WYD WHEN MY GANG PULL UP !!!

[toughbunnyforever]

the beginning and the end

[choccymilllk]

staaaartin thaa streaaaammmmmmm

[puckpatties]

i love you forever and ever girldad chilchuck