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#i liked frozen a lot but only because of my very specific experiences
mewwile · 5 months
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Rambled to my boo for ages about this but y'all can also have my Hot Take:
Disney movie Frozen had decent bones with its characters and wasn't half bad at some of the things it did and also can we talk about how ABSOLUTELY fucked up those girls' mental health was because oh my god.
We've got Elsa, elemental of self control, miss 'I've been raised with a mantra to always hide and stuff my emotions away or I may literally kill my family' who is alone for like ONE HOUR and has a musical number about how All Her Mental Illnesses Are Cured Now! Except the instant one (1) person shows up at her Alone Forever Castle she becomes the Anxiety Beast and swiftly devolves into a full panic attack.
Vs
Anna who is so emotionally starved that if you look at her for more than four seconds you both are Friends Until Death Do You Part. She is a starving animal desperate for any form of social interaction and doesn't even remember why her sister doesn't talk to her anymore and why her parents isolated the entire family from the outside world.
Elsa especially is such an emotional train wreck throughout most the movie like this woman is UNWELL! She needs some THERAPY!
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twst food culture compilation
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Please note: this post does NOT include all food-related lore in TWST (for example, you won’t find a lot of information about individual characters’ food preferences or personal experiences with food here). This post ONLY talks about the food culture, notable locations, cultural dishes, and unique foods of the Twisted Wonderland world at large (ie countries, specific towns and cities, etc).
I did my best to scour for info, but I’ll update if I find anything new or details I missed the first time around.
General and/or Unspecified Location
Icicle mushrooms are one of Twisted Wonderland’s three greatest delicacies. They are extremely rare and expensive.
There is a seasoning called “pure azure salt”, which is said to be rare, even in the Coral Sea.
Twisted Wonderland has a fruit called ruby berries (which taste “like freshly picked strawberries”).
There is frozen mint with a “refreshing profile” that grows in icy mountainous areas.
There exists Walrus-brand oyster sauce. Trey uses this to cook hamburger steak for his younger siblings. He says the oyster sauce provides a "nice savory flavor" with considerable depth. Trey also jokes about adding it to chestnut tarts in book 1.
There are mentions of irl Japanese foods such as konjac and takoyaki, but so far no place of origin in Twisted Wonderland has been sited.
Like in the real world, celebrities like Vil and Neige are used to promote products (including food and drink) in commercials, on social media platforms, etc. For example, in book 5, we see Neige advertising Red Apple Soda and Vil using his Magicam account to promote the apple juice made by Epel's family.
There's a popular dish called "pumpkin carriage stew". The insides of a pumpkin are scooped out and the shell is filled with a creamy stew, which made it difficult to carry over to tables. It would sell out every day at the cafe Ruggie used to work at.
Some restaurants call their spaghetti with meatballs "starry night spaghetti", named after the tale of two dogs who shared a spaghetti kiss under a starry sky. It is said that sharing spaghetti with meatballs with someone outside would lead to true love.
Hunting is sport as well as something done for food.
Crowley goes on vacation “to the South” and reports to enjoy mango and mango-flavored products from there. He also brings back manga tea as a souvenir.
Briar Valley
General
Cotton candy is a classic snack food sold at Briar Valley food stalls. The way it is prepared resembles spinning threads, which is considered a blessed occupation (as there was a period in Briar Valley's history when no one was able to spin thread, so some clever individual tinkered around and made cotton candy instead).
In the battlefield (~400 years ago, during the human-fae war), soldiers would roast rats and lizards to eat if they didn't have rations or other ingredients.
There is little in the way of modern technology and electricity; typically, one would prepare dishes and/or collect ingredients by hand (such as via fishing) or by using magic.
Magic is used to light fires for cooking. There is little risk for fire accidents since magical fires automatically go out when you go to sleep.
Because Briar Valley is located to the north, it can get very chilly. When the snow melts, it turns into very cold freshwater.
According to Lilia, “berries are a must-have, especially at birthdays parties” in Briar Valley. They are famous for its berry juice.
The forest where Silver and Lilia live has strawberries. Silver picks them with his animal companions.
Coral Sea
General
According to Jade, there are no fires in the Coral Sea. Therefore, most of the food consumed is raw.
A month-long land boot camp first established by a mermaid princess that married a human prince teaches merpeople fire safety and how to eat food as part of its curriculum.
It's rare for merfolk to eat anything sweet, as those kinds of foods aren't readily avaliable in the sea.
The Atlantica Memorial Museum has the mermaid princess's "silver hair comb" on display. This, of course, refers to the "dinglehopper"--a common fork. This implies that merpeople (such as the mermaid princess referenced in many stories) fused to be unaware of the eating utensils on land.
Azul's mother owns the "hottest restaurant" in the Coral Sea. It started off as a small place, but has since expanded to have a large staff.
Couples from the Coral Sea frequently request rainbow dessert soup with trident cookies for their weddings. To eat it, you use the trident cookie to stir the sweet sky-blue soup, which then turns the soup into seven colors of the rainbow. This is a dish that is only served for special occasions in the Coral Sea, and it is typically served warm.
Jade says that he was surprised to see that many land dwellers eat their fruit without the peel; this would imply that those from the Coral Sea typically eat their foods with the skin/peel left on, or as-is.
Playful Land Amusement Park
All food and drink are handed out for free.
They serve food in large quantities, such as tuna, entire tart cherry pies (with cinnamon, clove, and crushed nuts in the filling) and a whole peppery roasted chicken. The park encourages consuming in excess.
Other food items being offered include fried tuna fish and sparkling apple juice. The juice comes with an umbrella stuck in the opening to prevent bugs from getting in. You remove it before drinking.
They have ice-cream in many flavors! We see strawberry milk in the related event.
The park had candy and popcorn in “apple core” flavor. Supposedly, this is a taste inspired by the story of the Generous Fox giving a Puppet Boy an apple core instead of a whole apple because “the puppet wished to have a core”.
There is a “Candy Road”, a street lined with shops that have caramel lollipops, chewy candy, marshmallows, cookies, chocolate crunch, and lots of other sugary treats!
Their chocolate crunch has 12 different charms thrown in.
The third most popular souvenir are pasta snacks in the shape of the Friendly Fox and Gentle Cat. The second most popular is a tin of plain cookies in the shape of the Friendly Fox and cocoa cookies in the shape of the Gentle Cat. Finally, the most popular are apple core flavored candies!
Sage's Island
Night Raven College
Pomefiore holds a welcome party for the freshmen, which includes a fancy dinner. Savanaclaw does not hold a welcome party.
Scarabia regularly holds banquets, typically at Kalim's request.
Heartslabyul holds "unbirthday parties" whenever it is a day that does NOT fall on a Heartslabyul student's birthday. Sweets are mandatory at unbirthday parties.
The dorm members of Scarabia and Heartslabyul pitch in to prepare for banquets and unbirthday parties.
Mr. S's Mystery Shop stocks food items, such as candies (which Floyd often buys), tuna cans, and ingredients for baking (this is where Deuce and Yuu pick up things for the chestnut tart in book 1). Sam also sells food items that he seems to have made himself, like the Mystery Drink (which Octavinelle eventually buys the rights to).
The school cafeteria is said to have delicious breads.
Once a month, a famous bakery from out of town serves their goods at NRC. Their stock includes items such as chocolate croissants, egg sandwiches, yakisoba bread and cream bread ("cronuts and bear claws"), roast beef sandwiches, red bean buns ("hot dog buns"), and deluxe minced cutlet sandwiches ("deluxe ham and cheese"/"grilled cheese" in the localization). They sell out fast!
The cafeteria at NRC serves food buffet style; the cafeteria is kept warm with magic from fire fairies which are supplied with dry firewood every day. There is also a rotating daily menu.
Master Chef ("Culinary Crucible") is an elective course at NRC that teaches students how to cook. It is meant to curb the expenses related to eating out and to help the boys maintain balanced diets and learn how to take care of themselves. Judges for this course are randomly selected from the students and staff (prior to this methodology, people would bribe the judges for extra credit).
While taking Master Chef, students help with preparing meals in the cafeteria in exchange for part-time pay.
The instructors for Master Chef are ghosts who were professional chefs at five-star restaurants when they were alive. These same ghosts also serve as cafeterias staff. Crowley says it was difficult but worthwhile to recruit them.
There are various locations on campus where the students go to fetch ingredients for Master Chef. This includes an on-campus farm, ranch, windmill... and even the dormitories themselves!
The woods behind the campus have chestnuts, which the main crew collect for an apology tart to Riddle.
The Botanical Garden has some edible plants growing there. These include strawberries, which the Science Club cultivates.
NRC opens its school gates to the local townspeople for a period leading up to Halloween; during this time, they distribute candy and other sweets (such as Sam's waffles, served with jam made from NRC's apples) to guests. There's also a party on Halloween night where lots of food is served.
Mostro Lounge
Octainvelle has the Mostro Lounge, described by Jade as "a meeting place for gentlemen" where fighting between dorms is prohibited. While dining there, students are expected to abide by Octavinelle's rules. It is run by the manager and founder, Azul, who made a deal with the headmaster to get the rights to open the establishment. NRC gets 10% of the revenue the Mostro Lounge makes.
Jade and Floyd partake in some cooking, but Azul does very little cooking. He tends to investigate the competition and market.
Jade uses the weeds and plants he collects from mountain hikes to brew experimental new teas. Sometimes Azul adds these drinks to the menu.
Floyd likes to experiment with making sauces. These, too, are featured in the lounge.
The lounge offers cakes with coral decorations. You can order one for your special occasions.
The Mostro Lounge is particular about its quality name-brand dishware. Azul believes that this will boost the experience customers have in the lounge.
The Octatrio bought the rights to the Mystery Drink from Sam and raised its price from 600 madol/6 thaumarks to 1500 madol/15 thaumarks.
The Mostro Lounge has a one-drink purchase minimum.
Menu items range from roughly 600 madol to 1500 madol (6 thaumarks to 15 thaumarks). The menu rotates on a seasonal basis; this helps to cut down on costs since they can focus on cheaper in-season ingredients.
The Mostro Lounge also operates food stalls and/or sells food at many school events, such as the cultural festival in book 5 and the interdorm magical shift/spelldrive tournament in book 2.
It is mostly Octavinelle students who staff the Mostro Lounge, but there are occasions when outside students are brought in as extra help. Ruggie has worked there part-time, as well as Jack, Ace, Deuce, and tons of other students.
Unbirthday Party Rules (related to food)
Rule 25: There must be a tea party on the 5th of every month.
Rule 29: You must not eat the Queen's tarts without her permission.
Rule 153: The only tea you may drink in the evenings is herbal tea.
Rule 186: Do not eat hamburger steak on Tuesdays.
Rule 256: You must not drink lemonade with honey past 8 pm.
Rule 271: You must get up from the table within 15 minutes after eating lunch.
Rule 339: Your post-meal tea must be lemon tea with 2 sugar cubes.
Rule 529: If you eat steak on the night of a full moon, a cat must play the violin afterwards.
Rule 562: Do not bring chestnut tarts to an unbirthday party.
Rule 648: You must brush your teeth 2 times on nights when you eat turkey.
Rule 703: Whoever comes in 2nd place in a croquet match must serve tea to the Queen (dorm leader) the next day.
If the dormouse wakes up at an unbirthday party, you are to paint its nose with jam.
Coffee is forbidden; tea must be served at all occasions except for birthdays.
According to Cater, sweets are mandatory at unbirthday parties.
Dwarves' Mine & Silent Woods
There is an abundance of wildlife in these areas; Jade often goes hiking and foraging, making note of what he finds. He uses the plants to make his own tea blends (which are sometimes added to the Mostro Lounge's menu) and the herbs, plants, and mushrooms to experiment with in cooking.
There are fish to be found at the lake, including massive catfish.
The Foothill Town
There is a port for mainly cargo ships located at the southwest part of town. It's called Crane Port! The east side has a port as well, but that one is moreso for passengers. Crane Port has been getting fewer and fewer people passing through lately (until Port Breeze Fest, in which the NRC boys run food stalls and help to revive business in the area). Group A makes churros, Group B makes waffles, Group C makes salads, Group D makes cotton candy, and Group E makes clam chowder.
A popular restaurant in the Crane Port area serves foods like french fries and burgers. Their signature menu item is a donut made from potatoes. Actually, this restaurant specializes in potato dishes!
There is a chain restaurant on the island that also has locations elsewhere, including in Ace's hometown. He mentions that there are slightly different flavors to the sauces depending on which location you go to. This chain is also described as affordable for students and gives free refills. There is a location of this chain a car ride away from Harveston.
The town also has other eateries that are more geared towards students, seeing as it exists on an island with two notable magic schools to the north and the south. Cater often mentions going into town to take pictures at cafes.
There is a famous patisserie there. You have to line up early in the morning before opening time to get your hands on one of their strawberry tarts (or anything, really!).
Scalding Sands
General
The Scalding Sands seems to borrow heavily from Middle Eastern cultures. For example, some of the Scalding Sands’ traditional dishes include, but are not limited to: roasted lamb, moussaka, döner kebabs, shawarma, flatbreads, potato and bean spreads, and seafood sautés.
Tea is a popular beverage; it is had at every meal and break. People can drink up to 10 cups of tea a day!
The Scalding Sands specializes in black tea. For entertaining guests, special tea leaves are used.
In the Scalding Sands, they brew their tea leaves loose and without an infuser. This makes the tea very strong and bitter. To counteract the powerful flavor, people add lots of sugar to their tea and drink it with sweets.
“Luxurious” tea is very sweet, since sugar was once very expensive (due to a shortage of it, according to the localization) and considered a luxury.
Due to the hot weather, people often toss herbs into their tea to make it more refreshing to drink.
Coffee is also popular; there are many cafes that serve coffee and tea. The Scalding Sands is known in particular for their spiced coffee, which has a very distinctive flavor. This coffee is brewed without a filter, and some cafes do “coffee divinations” (reading the shapes and patterns of the grounds and the water droplets that remain after drinking to tell the fortunes of customers).
There are a lot of unique spices in their dishes. This is especially true of banquet dishes. However, a variety of dishes are still served at these occasions.
Kalim describes the Scalding Sands as being “big on stewed stuff” like curries.
In Kalim’s hometown, people love to gather around the table and talk over a meal.
Halloween in the Scalding Sands is celebrated by feasting on a variety of dishes. The idea is that the food must be abundant so that the ghosts that return to the world of the living for the night may also have their fill.
It used to be difficult for the people of the Scalding Sands to obtain water due to the lack of rainfall, hot climate, and expansive desserts. However, Kalim’s ancestors utilized the country’s rivers to reach other countries and to trade their textiles, spices, tea leaves, and other local goods with foreign lands. It was particularly impressive at the time, as they were the first traders from the Scalding Sands to sail (back then, accurate nautical maps were not a thing). This maritime pioneering is what would make the Asim family their massive fortune.
The Asims and other merchants heavily invested in technologies and innovations to make the area more sustainable and potable water more accessible.
The waterways of the country eventually developed into canals and communities formed around them as trade hubs. The canals are also used to host ferryboats for locals and tourists to sightsee, boosting the tourism industry. This also made access to water much easier for the residents, and the water helps to cool the temperature.
Silk City
The bazaars in Silk City are where locals do their shopping for various goods and staple foods like vegetables and fish. There are also stalls with gourmet food that cater to tourists.
Camel Bazaar is named after camels, which were used to transport people, goods, and luggage before Silk City’s canals and roads came to be. There also used to be an oasis where the camels would rest and drink after long treks; this oasis became a center for commerce and eventually evolved into a marketplace. To this day, the name “Camel” has stuck, even if people use trucks, ships, and cars more than camels.
There is also Zahab (”Gold”) Market, which is popular with tourists for shopping (especially for souvenirs!) but also has swindlers and pickpockets mixed in with regular customers.
Many snacks are sold! There’s camel milk chocolate, cookies drizzled in syrup, sunflower seeds, pistachios, chickpeas, all kinds of nuts, dried fruits (including dates), jams, jellies, syrups, starfruit, dragonfruit, etc. 
(Lamb) shawarma is described as meat roasted on a spit and served on baguettes or pita bread. Because grease drips off while it cooks, it is “surprisingly healthier” than one expects it to be. Shawarma is also customarily served with vegetables (tomatoes, onions, olives, jalapenos, etc.) and sauces (yogurt, garlic, chili, hummus (a paste of garlic and chickpeas), mayo basil, etc).
There is a vendor that can supply large quantities of sweet and refreshing coconut water; this is because they’re used to providing for Kalim’s extravagant and excessive tastes. They create a hole in the top and provide straws to poke in and use to drink the water. The coconut flesh inside is also edible.
There are a lot of bread stalls; bread is also another staple food, and it comes in many sizes, shapes, and textures. Small roadside bakeries have wood-fired ovens which allow them to serve bread fresh to customers.
One stand sells baguettes that are taller than many children; these “tower baguettes” are a famous Fireworks Festival treat. People say that if you eat a big one, you’ll never go hungry again! The saying comes from a story of a young man that shared bread with hungry children. It’s because of that story that baguettes are considered a good luck food that many vendors sell on holidays.
The Camel Bazaar sells an elastic ice-cream (based on a similar irl frozen Turkish confection). It is kneaded on a pole and stretched out; customers are meant to “catch” it in their cups and cones. It’s food performance art! All the stretching makes the texture very unique.
There’s a fruit stand that is only open on festival days which sells a Silk Melon sundae; the fruit is hollowed out to host ice-cream (of the same melon flavor!) and toppings which make it very photogenic.
Starfruit is usually put in salads, according to Trey.
The dragonfruit sold is recommended to be eaten with honey. You drizzle it on top of a slice and eat!
Silk City’s signature fruit is the Silk Melon. It is called that because of its silky texture and sophisticated sweetness. It can’t be found in many other countries. The man of legend that shared his bread with a starving child is said to split a melon with his friend, even though he did not have much money to spare. It’s because of this tale that people started saying if you share Silk Melon with someone, it would make your friendship or romance last forever. Now the fruit is a festival staple and considered a symbol of good fortune.
In the past, water was only used for irrigation due to its scarcity. Some gave up on farming after years of trying to produce crops and failing—but others refused to give up and cultivated the land to made it fertile, something which future generations would reap the benefits of.
The fruits and veggies sold Camel Bazaar are freshly picked and grown locally. Jamil says this is possible because the arid climate actually helps with growing crops of high quality. Produce raised with less water concentrates flavor since the final fruit will have a higher sugar content. Because of this, Silk City’s produce is prized by chefs all over Twisted Wonderland. Of course, you can get them at an affordable prize in Camel Bazaar!
Shaftlands
General
The Shaftlands are famous for its jeweled pineapples.
The Shaftlands spans a large area of land and has drastically different climates depending on the part of it you're looking at. Therefore, we can deduce that foods and customs surrounding food are very different as well.
City of Flowers/Fleur City
The city’s food culture seems to be inspired by real world Paris, or at the very least, France.
Bread is a local specialty, particularly very buttery kinds. As you walk down the streets, you can smell bread baking. The City of Flowers has 10x (or more) the variety of bread that Sage's Island offers, and has an abundance of bakeries too.
Bread-making is popular in the City of Flowers. The windmills at the edges of the city grind grains to produce fresh flour. There are also watermills powered by the Soleil River to assist with making flour.
Because wheat is plentiful in this area, some of it is also used for desserts. One such confection is financier, which is made from a combination of wheat flour, almond flour, and butter. It resembles a gold bar, so eating one is said to bring financial prosperity.
Lately, gluten-free desserts have been trendy.
A dessert that does not use wheat flour is macarons. In the City of Flowers, they are yellow and shaped like bells to honor the Bell of Salvation which oversees the community and provides magic that helps rare plants grow in the area. The filling is a ganache with dried bits of grapes and apples.
Grape juice is popular in the City of Flowers, as the fruit is another specialty. You can buy the grapes raw and eat them as is, or ask a vendor to crush it (skin still on!) into juice for you. Some buy the grapes to give as gifts!
The grapes are grown in vineyards right outside of the city, and the farmers are constantly experimenting to improve their breeds. They taste very rich, tangy, and sweet.
The City of Flowers is also known for its many specialty cheese shops. Together, bread and cheese are called the staple foods of the city, and are sometimes eaten together. One specialty cheese shop the boys visit sells baguettes topped with ham and rich melted cheese.
The city considers goats a symbol of good luck, so they are treated with care. There are many community goats (which are just as common as domesticated cats or dogs) allowed to roam freely in the city. It is said that if you treat the community goats with kindness, they will come rescue you in your time of need.
Goat milk is used in some of the specialty cheeses produced by the city. The grapes mentioned earlier are also made into fruit compotes to go with the cheeses.
Harveston
This village has many dishes that borrow from a mixture of irl Nordic cultures. There’s also an emphasis on having hometown pride and the community itself being very close.
Crows often damage the apples Harveston grows. The community comes together to put up nets and make noises to scare them off.
As expected, many of Harveston's dishes feature apples: apple pie, grilled and roasted apples, apple salad, apple pound cakes, etc.
Epel's family has an apple orchard that has been in the family for generations. They grow different kinds of apples throughout the year. Many of his neighbors are older people who also raise produce, and they help each other out when they're short on hands. The community is very tightly knit because of this, and treat each other like extended family.
Harvest season (autumn) is the busiest time of year; once that's over, everyone comes together to have a party. It's a potluck style celebration where everyone brings a homemade dish or homegrown food to share.
Harveston preserves its produce (such as apples and wild greens) by pickling them and serving them in salads. The bright colors are maintained by boiling the produce in a copper pot, which stabilizes the pigments. It's wisdom passed down from generation to generation.
There is also pickled herring, traditionally eaten on bread. Brining preserves the fish while it is still raw and doesn't dry it up. It's ready to eat right out of a jar, no cooking required.
The local stew is not very thick. It tastes sweet because of the added vegetables and savory because of the tender meat in it. There is also a salmon broth sprinkled with herbs which is described as "melty".
Fruits and vegetables can be packed in snow to keep them preserved. This method is called “snow aging” and prevents evaporation. In the old days, the villagers would build whole farms out of snow. In modern day, they just shovel the snow into a barn. This creates a natural fridge that will naturally thaw in the summers. Snow aging in this manner makes the produce sweeter and more nutritious.
The next town over is a three-hour bike ride. The roadside has many apple trees you can enjoy during the trip.
You can easily pick apples off the branch and eat them fresh! Farmers can snack on apples while picking.
Harveston is surrounded by tall mountains that are snow-capped all year, the most famous one being Mt. Moln. The greenery around Harveston is due to the spring water irrigation which runs down from Mt. Moln.
Most of Harveston’s land is used for orchards, and apples are their main produce. They also make many products using those apples like chips, rice crackers, and cookies.
Fall apples are sweeter, while winter ones are more sour. Winter apples are unique to Harveston.
Harveston also grows a lot of garlic.
Harveston farming is done the old fashioned way, as the predominantly older population distrusts chemical fertilizers and biotechnology.
Some villagers like the mayor and Marja (Epel’s grandma) adjust their accent to communicate with people from outside the village. Marja says she switches up when she’s selling goods in another town, since it can be tricky for non-Harveston locals to understand.
Hand washing before eating is a must! They take the act very seriously in Harveston. Stories say the miners of the past used to get very sick due to poor hygiene, but their health improved drastically once they started washing regularly with soap and water. It was difficult for them to get treatment because the town is so remote and far from hospitals or doctors, so the best thing is stressing prevention. This why the townspeople are sticklers about hand washing now.
To wash the Harveston way, you plunge your hands into ice cold water and make it all foamy with soap. You also scoop the water up and splash your face as well (as the miners from the past would also do this).
Apple Square is the main festival venue; it has many vendor stalls in an area called Kokko (which means “Bonfire”) Market. The Sledathon is the most lucrative time of year for the townsfolk.
Many of their products are made locally by the older folks in town. The goods aren’t trendy or very fancy, but they’re high-quality and made with Harveston pride.
The stalls give apple juice, apple tea (which has fruit pieces floating in it), and apple ginger tea for free. The apple juice is one of Harveston’s most popular products.
Giant five-meter apple pies are made for the Sledathon. They’re considered one of the main attractions, and you can get a slice from them free of charge.
There are other stalls that sell regular apple pie too. Every vendor has their own style, from the apples used to the crust and baking technique.
There are other kinds of fruit pies for sale, but apples are the most popular and “special” ones. The Beautiful Queen had a preference for apple pies, so the townspeople do too.
Harveston apple pies have such an entrancing flavor that the nearest city has stores that stock them. Critics say that Harveston apple pies make anyone drool and that the best way to convince someone to do you a favor is to gift one.
Harveston holds an apple competition to find the reddest apple. This is because the Beautiful Queen prized beautifully red apples. In the past, the townspeople would offer the reddest apple from the season’s harvest to the Beautiful Queen. Over time, it evolved into the apple competition.
Kokko Market makes pancake balls from a flour batter and top it with jam. It’s prepared in a pan and with methods similar to takoyaki, coming out crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside.
Pancakes also come in a square form. In Harveston, pancakes are baked in the oven instead of on the stove. Some people cook pancakes in the fireplace too; this makes them tender, thick, and pudding-like.
There are many grains used for bread: sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, oats, flax seeds, sesame seeds, rye, wheat...
Barbeque is served for large gatherings and celebrations.
Cooking tends to be done in the fireplace instead of on a stove, especially in the case for stews. It keeps the room warm in winter while the food cooks.
Harveston has a bean and fruit soup. Most other places serve it cold, but those in Harveston sometimes enjoy it warm. It’s a thick consistency and the fruit in it has been dried.
When setting the dining table, people in Harveston leave one extra plate out. This tradition comes from a story about a traveler visiting a family’s house and being surprised by the messy state of it. The traveler cleaned the house and cooked a nice meal for the family. From this story came the belief that as long as you leave a plate at your table, you’ll never want for food or go hungry.
Sandwich cakes are common party centerpieces. They are made with bread and vegetables, topped with shrimp, deviled eggs, olives, apples, and salmon slides arranged in a rose shape. The frosting on it is made from mayonnaise and sour cream, making sandwich cakes more salad than dessert.
They sell cherries and other berries by volume. Also sold are vegetables and juice, freshly squeezed.
Because Harveston is located in a mountainous region, there are rare varieties of mushrooms to be found. These can be served in a traditional mushroom soup, which can be finicky to prepare (so usually only experts make it). Mushrooms are also cooked in butter and served in sandwiches.
Mushrooms, herbs, and flowers are foraged from the nature (both public mountains and private woods). Locals usually don’t buy plants that are wild when they can pick it themselves. Instead, they’re sold to tourists.
Good foraging spots on Moln Mountain are kept secret so people don’t overharvest. The mountains are dangerous in winter, so foraging has to be done in spring or summer.
Harveston brines raw fish like salmon in a mixture of salt, sugar, pepper, and fill. In the old days, brined salmon was buried in sand to let it ferment.
Fish is dried to preserve it and to enhance the flavor. Before there were proper roads, it was hard to bring in food for the winter, so Harveston relied on foods preserved in the spring. They last for a long time and have many uses (such as in soup stock or to eat straight up). To this day, preserved meats and vegetables are a local specialty and new methods such as roasting have been developed for preservation.
Sunset Savanna
General
The food here appears to be inspired by African cultures of the real world.
There is floral cacao in the Sunset Savanna. It bears fruit only once every 10 years.
Gummy bugs are popular and a Halloween staple.
The people of the Sunset Savanna value living in harmony with nature and will go out of their way to adapt to the land (due to the high population of beastmen, who have animal ancestors). Because of this, they oppose change that could damage the environment. There are some parts of this arid country that still rely on wells for their drinking water needs. They also hold the Tamashina-Mina festival every year to pray for rain.
Sautéed mutton is a common meal in this country. Leona brags that the Sunset Savanna is top notch when it comes to cooking meats.
The bananas of the Sunset Savanna are starchy and resemble potatoes (similar to plantains). They are steamed and served as a staple food. They’re faintly sweet and are actually very light and easy to digest.
It’s easier to grow fruit instead of wheat and rice in their climate.
Rice crepes, another staple, are served with a stew that you pour over it. The stew comes in variants such as a white fish stew simmered in tomato sauce, spinach and potato stew, beef stew, etc. There are also many side dishes you can enjoy with the crepes. The crepes aren’t meant to be eaten alone, as they taste too sour solo.
The phrase “that’s the Circle of Life” is a proverb that has been around for ages. The strong eat the weak, then when the strong die, their bodies become nutrients for the grass which feeds the next generation of prey animals. Life comes “full circle”, and the proverb indicates this delicate balance.
The Sunset Savanna is famous for its coffee. It tastes spicy, not bitter, because the custom is to add spices to the drink.
Food prep performances seem to be common for the wealthy; Leona mentions seeing big fish filleted before being served.
Yogurt is considered a “healthy dairy” and is typically served for breakfast.
Elephant Graveyard
The Elephant Graveyard, once considered a scary and lawless place (the “shadow lands” which were not a part of the original kingdom), has become a tourist destination.
They are known for selling vanilla cookies shaped like bones.
The hot springs at the Elephant Graveyard have kettles hidden by the steam. The hot water vapor cooks onsen tamago (a traditionally Japanese irl dish) and puddings. It imparts a slightly salty and sulfurous flavor and smell to the foods.
Sunrise City
The Raintree Market is a bazaar that features many foods and drinks.
Many snacks sold in the marketplaces are local specialties, so they’re popular as souvenirs.
Wild and cultivated hibiscus flowers are boiled with sugar to produce a red juice. There is also a white juice, which is made using wild baobab (which is full of nutrients; people call it a beauty elixir you can drink). A legends says that, long ago, members of the royal family would have their foreheads painted with baobab juice when they were born. That’s how the fruit became a local specialty.
In the original tale, the juice for marking foreheads was red. It seems that, over time, the color was changed to white by word of mouth, with the latter description fitting more with the white fruit of the baobab. Because of this change, more and more stalls have been selling a mixture of hibiscus juice and baobab juice.
The baobab fruit is also used to make a particular sour candy. The candy is dyed with res food coloring and is then dusted with sugar and chili powder. It’s described as having a “mature” flavor.
Mangoes are a local specialty! Vendors will happily cut open the fruit for you to enjoy on the spot.
Other notable fruits for sale are tart passionfruit and creamy but smelly jackfruit. The latter is considered the largest fruit in Twisted Wonderland and grows on its tree’s trunks.
The Sunset Villa is a luxurious hotel that hosts VIPs and important guests of the state. They offer a large selection of drinks (fruit juice, black tea, coffee…) and serve whole slabs of steak in front of you before serving at luxurious barbecues. After dinners, they have dance performances.
There is an enormous sausage that’s wrapped up in a coil. If unwound, it’s a meter long. It’s meant to be cut with scissors before eating. The sausage’s herbs make it taste refreshing, and its meat is finely grounded to allow its flavors to come through.
Seafood is fresh and cheap, provided you live by the sea or in a coastal region like Dawn City. In more inland areas, seafood is considered a luxury.
Their seafood tends to be cooked with strong spices.
Ruggie’s yet-to-be-named hometown
Because the residents are poor, their food is usually made from collected scraps (such as pumpkin pie made predominantly from the pulpy parts) or prepared with substitutions and without extra flourishes. For example, Ruggie’s grandma prepares homemade donuts for his birthday but they couldn't afford fancy toppings (until Ruggie started working to bring in extra income).
It’s implied that there were instances when Ruggie (and presumably others from his hometown) had to eat rotten food or out of trash cans to get by.
Queendom of Roses
General
There is reference to some irl UK foods in this region, such as the jacket potato.
The Queendom of Roses is famous for its rose jelly rolls. Roses are the flower the country is best known for, of course, but they also have lavender, rosemary, sweet violet, foxglove, bluebells, and many berries.
People from this country eat flowers (which are specifically grown for eating). Flowers are also used for dried flower bookmarks? potpourri, etc.
The Queendom has a good selection of breads.
Apparently, the Queendom also has a strong “tea culture”.
People in the Queendom of Roses eat a lot of different pastries (pies, tarts, quiches, croissants, etc). Croissant donuts (cronuts) in particular have been pretty trendy lately. They’re donuts made with croissant batter, so they come out super flaky. They are sometimes sold with iced tea as a combo.
Potatoes are a staple food.
Jacket potatoes are common at festivals; they are potatoes baked with the skin (ie “jacket”) still on. The standard topping for them is baked beans, but you can also have tuna mayo corn, bean chili, sour cream, avocado, and other things.
Anyone that grew up in the Queendom of Roses has probably done the “cookie smash” at least once as a kid. (More info on this under the “Clock Town” section!)
The Queendom is known for lavender, berries, and rosemary.
Riddle and Trey's yet-to-be-named hometown
Trey's family owns a bakery (called "Patisserie Clover" according to the TWST manga). It seems to be a small "mom and pops" shop with no particular notoriety. However, the manga implies that it was the Clover bakery where Riddle saw the strawberry tarts and became entranced by them. This is also where Riddle would later try his first strawberry tart.
In Riddle and Trey's hometown, people enjoy apple bobbing during the Halloween season.
Before interview: Riddle was worried whether they can start on time and was relieved when Vil showed up and Vil was pretty smug about it lmao
There is a farm not too far from where Riddle lives; it is famous for its ice-cream buns. There is also a cafe located on the farm! It opened shortly after Riddle entered NRC and is so popular that it’s spoken about in magazines and tourists go there just to sample their sweets.
Clock Town
The people of Clock Town value time and punctuality due to the town's connection to the White Rabbit, who was always in a hurry. Many of the foods sold at stalls are things that are easy to hold and eat while walking, such as sliced sandwiches.
The Clock Town Folk Museum mentions a girl that appears in the story of the White Rabbit. She ate cookies that made her grow large; the museum recreates this experiment by projecting a large image of guests that eat cookies they have set out.
The Clock Town Folk Museum also runs a bugle-playing contest. The participation prize is a carrot cookie.
Clock Town sells a brand of potato chips with the White Rabbit logo on them.
The town also sells cookies iced to look like a pocket watch. The icing is made from a mixture of sugar and egg whites (“royal icing”) which hardens considerably. You’re meant to crush the cookie with a hammer to make it into smaller pieces, making it easier to eat. It’s based on the story of the White Rabbit breaking his pocket watch. Others tried to help him fix it by hitting it with a hammer, but it didn’t help at all, only damaged it more!
A lot of people enjoy growing plants, gardening, and horticulture, including stuff that can be eaten like herbs.
Sausage rolls are served in pairs to resemble bunny ears; the container they come in resembles the White Rabbit. They’re sausages wrapped in a pie crust/puff pastry dough, and come in cheese (with a shortcrust pastry similar to what is used for tarts to help hold its shape) and a spicy sausage (with a puff pastry that makes it flaky) variant for the White Rabbit Festival.
There are large mushrooms that grow in Clock Town; eating one side will turn you large, eating the other side will turn you small. The girl in the story of the White Rabbit has eaten these strange mushrooms before. These mushrooms are said to be enchanted and only work in a particular area; its effects last for ~1 minute after eating.
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bad liars (savior complex ii) - joel miller x f!reader
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part one | masterlist | song inspo |
Baby, you're a vampire You want blood and I promised...
summary: It's been a month since Joel has last seen you, fully healed since your last interaction. But you haven't spoken...at all. Your radio silence becomes cause for concern when he hears about an outbreak of Infected at the hospital where you work. There's enough explanation in this part that you could read it on it's own, probably, but I'd highly recommend reading part one first to get the full experience. pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 7.9k warnings: SMUT - 18+ ONLY, minors DNI. (porn w/ plot, unprotected sex, oral, rough sex, dirty talk, praise kink, age gap. dom/sub dynamics.) Heavy angst, multiple POVs, implied drug abuse, alcohol use, canon-typical suffering! Blood mention. Both reader/Joel are insanely emotionally unavailable, and love to lie to themselves and each other! (please dm for specifics if you have any questions). a/n: Ya'll loved savior complex and I'm so happy! Literally don't think I've had a fic get that many notes before, i had so many requests for a part two and because it felt like i left things open-ended enough, this came to me pretty easily! It might be the horniest thing I've ever written and also very angsty (what's new?)....but I think you'll like the ending <3 Special to @ay0nha for letting me yell at you about my writing and to @zbeez-outlet for the wonderful idea.
Joel exhales and runs his fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair – the tips of which were frozen together from standing outside for so long. It had gotten cold out. Very cold. Boston always did this time of year, and because of it, people stayed in, and crime in the QZ dropped, making it a safer place - though that wasn’t saying much. 
Of course, the cold didn’t stop him from dealing. It did make his job a hell of a lot more difficult, since FEDRA was bored, out looking for trouble, and didn’t have more pressing matters to attend to. Although today, he must’ve been in luck, because the only sign of FEDRA had been helicopters and tanks that were clearly on a mission, driving to the opposite side of the QZ. Good, he had thought. A distraction. 
Joel leans back against the brick wall of the alleyway, pulling the hood of his jacket up over his ears, stares at the ice in the cracks of the pavement. When he hears the crunch of gravel underfoot, he straightens.
The man approaching looks nervously over his shoulder, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his flimsy sweatshirt. Dave, a customer of his for some time. 
“You’re late,” Joel doesn’t bother with a proper greeting.
“I know, I know, I got held up on my way here,” Dave answers, immediately beginning his excuse. “They cleared out the hospital because of an outbreak, that whole area was locked down so I had to take the long way.”
“Outbreak?” Joel tilts his head.
“Infected. I guess a bunch of hospital staff got bit. FEDRA had to go in and put them all down.” 
Joel feels a distant pang of concern somewhere in the back of his head. “How many?”
Dave shrugs, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know, man, that’s all I know. It’s not like they’ll ever tell anyone what actually happened.”
Joel can’t help but think of you. He knows a couple people who work at the hospital, most of them through smuggling, but you’re the only one who he’s really able to bring to mind at the moment.
“So, can we, uh…”
Joel pulls the plastic baggie out from his pockets, fishing out the pills. On his end, Dave produces a wad of credits, his shoulders sagging in relief once they’ve made the trade and the drugs are in his hand. He takes one immediately, shoves the rest in his pocket. “Thanks man, I’ll see you next week?”
Leaning back against the wall, he nods, and watches his customer disappear down the alleyway. 
The second Dave is out of sight, Joel’s chest tightens, and he takes a deep breath. There’s no reason why news of Infected at the hospital should concern him. If FEDRA had been called in – they would’ve gunned down anything that moved until it was under control. He knew, better than anyone, that they would do unspeakable things in the name of keeping order. Innocent people probably died, but the dead can’t get infected.
It had been about a month since Joel had last seen you, after he’d gotten beaten within an inch of his life and ended up on your doorstep, and you were the only person that could help. It hadn’t gone at all how he expected it would – at the end of the day, he had been surprised by your tenderness. 
Still, despite that you’d let him take you on the edge of your bed, legs wrapped around him, bouncing on his cock, he wouldn’t really say that it changed anything about your relationship. He had actually been kind of afraid that it would, that your attitude towards him would shift to something more amicable.
But you hadn’t spoken to him in a month. Joel had told you he owed you one after you stitched him up, and had anticipated that you’d take him up on his offer pretty quickly. There were so many things he could do for you to make your situation better. Maybe you’d need credits…. Medicine…. Food…. Booze… Pills, something, but you haven’t reached out. You could just be biding your time until you really need the favor.
Still, the radio silence takes him aback. He should be relieved that you aren’t talking to him. But nothing? Even if it’s not about a favor…he wants some kind of confirmation that you’d both made a mistake. After all that, did you really expect nothing from him?
It dawns on him there’s now a chance you’ll never speak to him again, because you’re one of the ones that FEDRA killed. Or worse….you had gotten bit. 
Joel passes by the hospital, taking the long way home. Everything is locked down, taped off. There’s a crowd around the place – family members, he assumes, pleading with FEDRA agents for information and getting nothing in return.
“Go home. I’m sure they’ll turn up,” he hears one of them say to a weeping woman. It’s useless to ask for an honest answer, for one of them to actually care. 
Joel could go home. He could crush a couple pills, snort them, and quell the burn with a couple drinks. He could fall into restless sleep and wake up the next day as he always did, go about his business as usual. Survive. One day at a time. 
Would he ever get confirmation that you’re alive? Because at this rate, he’s not sure he’ll ever know either way. 
The feeling is going to linger. He hates it. Were you gone? If you are, he can handle knowing. Its somehow worse not to. 
He tries to justify it to himself. You’re one of his solid connections to the hospital, you’d traded with him for medical supplies before. This is business, really, if he thinks about it that way. If you’re dead, he and Tess need to find someone else to work with. 
Joel decides to take a detour on the way back to his place.
It’s past curfew when he arrives at your apartment, the sun has long since dipped below the horizon and with that comes an even harsher cold. Boston winters, he thinks to himself. If he is capable of missing anything, he’d say he missed Texas. Before all this, the last place he’d be caught dead was on the East Coast. 
Joel raps on your front door. He forgets how shitty your building is, that you sleep here alone every night, listening to your neighbors arguing through the thin walls, shady characters slinking out of shadows in the dimly-lit hallway,
A few seconds pass. When he hears nothing behind your door, he knocks again, a little louder. 
More time passes. He knocks again, louder. Maybe you didn’t hear him. 
Nothing. He does it again. Could you be asleep? His jaw clenches.
Still nothing, and Joel knocks even louder. Maybe you’re not even here, and you work nights, and he’s just missed you as you head out for another shift. But he knows that’s unlikely. Since he’s known you, you’ve never worked nights. So where the fuck were you?
Joel’s pounds on your door, yells your name into its chipping paint. He listens for something, anything, on the other side, and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, but he keeps going The side of his fist starts to hurt, but he can’t stop himself. He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until he hears one of your neighbors yelling from the end of the hallway. 
‘Shut the fuck up!’
Joel doesn’t hear exactly where the voice comes from, but it’s enough to snap him out of it. He halts his movements, his forehead falling against hollow wood, and in the silence, hears his heart pounding in his ears. 
“Fuck!” he kicks the wall just outside the frame of your door so hard the drywall gives, leaving a hole behind. “Fuck.”
He stares at the result of his outburst for an undetermined amount of time. You were all alone. To his knowledge, you had no immediate family to inform. Who would be around to remember you? He’d never really know for sure what had happened. 
“Joel?”
He looks up, his hands still clenched tightly into fists. When he sees that it’s you, standing at the end of the hallway, they loosen. 
You look horrible - haggard, tired, your hair tangled and matted. As you move closer to him, he doesn’t miss the way your shoulders are hunched underneath the weight of your backpack. But once you’re standing in front of him, you straighten, lift your chin. 
“What is this?” you ask. “What are you doing here?”
There’s no animosity in your tone, he thinks. You might be trying to put some in there, but you don’t have the energy to do so, so it just comes out sounding very flat.
Joel realizes, suddenly, that he doesn’t have a reason. A real reason that wouldn’t….give him away. He puts his hands on his hips, thinks desperately. You do nothing to help.
When he settles in silence, offers you nothing, you just sigh and shake your head. Your teeth are chattering, lips cracked from the cold, and you seem desperate to get into shelter, twisting your key into your lock and opening the front door. Once you step inside, you flick on the lights. He follows you, closes the door behind you both, and locks it.
“Oh, yeah, come on in, I guess,” you say over your shoulder. 
Joel crosses his arms, standing in your kitchen. 
“What, am I in trouble or something?” you ask. “Because if I am, you’re gonna have to wait until I’ve showered.”
“It can wait,” Joel says, and sits at one of your kitchen chairs. 
You shrug off of your backpack and leave it on a chair, then unbutton your coat, tossing it on top. Joel swallows hard when he sees the damage it’s been hiding. Your scrubs are dirty, tattered in some places, one of the sleeves hanging, partially ripped off. And they’re covered in dried blood. It’s smeared on your arms, on the back of your neck. Not yours, he hopes. 
What the fuck happened to you? You don’t turn to see his reaction, don’t look over your shoulder to see if he’s going to ask about it. It’s almost like he’s not even there, and you clearly wish he isn’t. 
He realizes then, that he has the confirmation he’s looking for. You made it out alive. He doesn’t actually need anything else from you. And you’ve given him a perfect out. He can leave while you’re in the shower. 
But he doesn’t. Not when he hears the shower start, or the screech of the curtain across the metal rod, the sound of water hitting the basin. He stays there, motionless, until you duck out of the bathroom with your arms wrapped around yourself, wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, hair damp and teeth chattering. 
You pad with bare feet onto the tiled area of the kitchen, brushing past him. 
“What the fuck happened to you?” he asks. 
You finally look at him, like you’re surprised he spoke up, or even asked the question. A choked, bitter laugh leaves you, and you shift your attention away from him, reaching into your cabinet for a bottle of bourbon. “Pass.”
You pour yourself a whiskey, and Joel watches you throw it back in one go, your nose scrunching up, your hand clasping into a fist as you take the shot. The taste doesn’t stop you from pouring another drink and gulping that one down, too, without as much of a reaction as the first. It’s only when you start pouring the third that he intervenes, standing and crossing the room to cover the glass with his hand before you can grab it. 
“Slow down,” he says.
“I know you’re not telling me what to do in my own home.” Your mouth opens as you look up at him, incredulous. 
Joel looks past you, shakes his head. He supposes your right, but it doesn’t make it any easier to watch the self-destructive behavior, which is funny considering how often he engages in it himself. He gives in, removes his hand from your glass. “At least…pour me one. You shouldn’t drink alone.”
Your expression softens slightly, and he’s able to see all the pain you’re hiding, just for a flash, before you turn to retrieve a second glass from your cabinet. 
Once you hand him the whiskey, he sits in the middle of the tiny loveseat you’ve got in your front room, expecting you to sit in the armchair across from it. Instead, you approach with your own drink, nudge his knee with your own, and Joel slides over to make room so you can fall onto the couch beside him. Much closer than he’d expected. 
It’s surprisingly good bourbon, and he wonders how many times you��d wasted it by downing it like you just had, instead of taking your time, savoring. He waits for you to get settled before he speaks again.
“What happened to you?” he tries once more, a little softer this time. 
There’s some contemplation on your end, you look at him for a moment, then at your glass, then back up at him again. He can almost see you trying to figure out how much you’re going to share, but he wants to know everything.
“There was an accident at the hospital,” you answer, finally. 
Joel slings his arm over the back of the couch, angles his body towards where you’re curled up, legs tucked underneath you. I’m listening.
Your voice stays even, blase. “A guard at the border broke protocol…and someone who was infected was brought in. By the time we realized, it was too late….”
“Were you hurt?” 
“Almost.” you say. “I mean, yes, actually, I’m a little scratched up, but…it’s not as bad as it could’ve been.”
Your teeth start chattering again. Joel wonders if it’s because of the cold, or your nerves. Figures it’s probably both.
“My coworker turned and I uhm….I had to…” you say into your glass, your free hand flexing like it’s trying to shake off some unpleasant muscle memory. “I had no choice.”
“I understand,” For whatever reason, he spares you from telling the story. To him, taking down Infected was nothing. But to you…“What else?” he presses.
You shrug, avoiding his eyes, one of your arms coming to grip at your opposite shoulder. “I can’t really remember. A bunch of people died. FEDRA came in and just started gunning everything down….” you shook your head, and straightened up.
“I heard about that,” Joel offers.
“Wait…you knew about this?”
“Yeah.”
“So then why are you here, asking m-” the rest of your sentence drops off, your lips parted slightly. The look on your face shifts, slowly. Your eyes narrow. Remorse turns into something more neutral, then into curiosity. “Oh my god….you were worried about me.”
“No.”
“Yes, you fucking were,” your lips curl slightly, it’s not quite a smile, but it’s something close to amusement. 
“No,” Joel defends himself. “I wanted to hear what happened from someone–”
“No you didn’t,” you interject, but he raises his voice to finish his thought.
“–who actually works there, not FEDRA’s propaganda.”
“No you did not. You’re checking up on me. You came over here after curfew to see if I was–”
“Enough,” Joel growls with enough conviction that it shuts you up, and he’s grateful, but its not enough to wipe the self-satisfied look on your face, because it doesn’t.
“What are we, like, friends now?”
He doesn’t answer, and slugs back the rest of his whiskey.
“Or would that be too much for you?” You don’t wait long for him to give you an answer, probably because you know he won’t respond. “I mean, if we’re both being honest–” He definitely wasn’t being honest. “–Today was really fucked up.”
You’re leaning forward now, some of the space between you is gone. And though you’re trying to give the impression that you’re unphased by everything, your hand is clenched tightly around your glass, and you avoid his eyes. It’s painful to watch you resist the urge to trust him. Not that he’s ever given you a good enough reason to – he knows he doesn’t deserve it, but he wants it anyways.
“It’s funny…” you say after a while. “I remember thinking that I didn’t want to die. At least… not like that. I’ve never felt that before…That’s something, isn’t it?” you ask him. 
Joel looks at you, and is surprised at the vulnerability in your expression, sees you looking for some kind of validation from him. “....It is.” 
You finish off your drink, and put the empty glass on the coffee table, shift closer to him.
“It looks like you healed up okay,” you say, after a spell. “How’s your shoulder?”
“A little sore, nothing I can’t handle.”
“Did you take those antibiotics?”
“Yes.”
“Good. And I can’t even tell you had a black eye.”
“I’m fine,” Joel asserts. 
Another shiver wracks your body, and he can tell this one is actually from the chill – your apartment is cold as fuck, it even is starting to bother him. 
“Don’t you have a heater?”
“Kinda,” you glance over at the radiator in the corner. “Sometimes it works.”
“What do you do when it’s colder than this?” It was only November, things would only get worse. 
You shrug. “I don’t know….just be colder, I guess.”
Joel imagines you curled up in your bed alone, wrapped in a thin comforter, shaking in front of him like you are now. He winces. 
“How long are you going to stay?” you ask, changing the subject.
“I should probably go now.”
You nod, scoot closer. “But maybe…” you trail off, contemplating. 
Joel sits up straighter, prompting you when you don’t speak again. “Maybe what?”
“Maybe you could stick around for a little while longer.” There’s a warm hand, yours, that lands on his thigh, and he recoils like you’ve touched him with a fire iron. He rises to his feet. 
“Hey,” you stand along with him, step in front of him to block the pathway to the door. He could easily get past you, obviously, but it’s not as simple as that. 
Of course he’s fucking thought about what happened the last time he was here – his arms around your waist, his mouth on your neck, your chest, your hands on his shoulders, whining his name. A freak accident, a glitch in the matrix, a statistically improbable thing. 
“What?” he asks as you step forward, the fingers on your free hand sliding into the belt loops of his pants. He feels blood rush to his cheeks, to other places. And you’re still fucking shivering. You look so fucking miserable, he wants to yell at you to put on a coat, to wrap yourself in a blanket, in his arms. 
“Joel,” you say his name softly, tilting your head up, leaning close. And then your hand is on the side of his face, and he realizes you’re fucking pleading with him. He knows what you want, but he has a feeling this isn’t just about sex. You’re looking for comfort, as if he’s capable of giving it. 
“We made a mistake…once,” he tells you. “We’re not going to make it again.”
He says it to hurt you, but it doesn’t work. It’s like you knew it was coming all along. “I knew what I was doing,” you answer, earnest. “Didn’t you?”
Yes. You glance down at his hands, which are squeezed into fists so tightly, his knuckles are white. If he’s not rigid, he’s not sure how he’ll be able to resist. He wants you. God, he wants you. He never thought he’d be able to have you again. 
“I could help you loosen up.”
Joel’s walking on the edge of a one-thousand foot cliff and hoping his foot slips. He wants to surrender. The only thing he thinks might save him is to say the meanest thing he can. Maybe you’d get turned off.
“Listen to yourself,” he says, finding the strength to meet your eyes. “You want me so bad, you sound pathetic.”
“Asshole,” you step closer, your mouth twitches, your lips are inches apart. “Do you think I care what you think about me?”
Joel realizes his plan has backfired. But he really only has himself to blame, he should’ve known better. With you, he’s never in as much control as he wants to be, and deep down, he likes it. 
“Go lie down on the bed.”
It’s the only thing that seems to shock you. “What?” 
“I won’t ask you again,” Joel steps backwards, crosses his arms. “Go lie down.” 
──────
If you told yourself a couple months ago that one day you’d find yourself pinned down by Joel Miller, you’d think it’d be because he was about to kill you. Maybe because you cheated him out of something, maybe because you did something else to piss him off – it didn’t really matter. Regardless of how fucked up it was, that idea would seem more dignified than what was happening now. 
Your back is being pressed deeper into the lumpy old mattress, and he’s on you. His mouth is warm, hot, wet, and dragging down your neck, nipping, sucking, licking. Your hands are itching to reach out, to skate down his torso, trace along his jawline, tug at his hair, but you can’t because he’s got them pinned above you with only one of his own. Anytime you try to fight him, his grip only grows stronger. 
It was shameful, really, but you had asked for this – begged for it, basically. There were a number of reasons why – one of which was to blow off some steam after a near death experience, the other because you’d fucked him before and it had been good, much to your dismay. There was also a third reason that you weren’t interested in acknowledging now. 
After the night Joel had gotten jumped, and you’d taken care of him, everything has changed. It’s a cliche, but true. You’d known what you were doing when it happened, and had no regrets. But it was probably not supposed to happen again, and you tried to keep it that way, more for his sake than anyone else’s. But….he was the one who showed up tonight after he’d heard what had happened. It wasn’t nothing.
Joel pulls away from you so abruptly that you gasp, shivering in the wake of his impossible warmth. 
“Sit up,” he instructs, and you turn to find him at the end of the bed, arms crossed. 
You obey, mostly just for the view. You hope to admire him, fresh from kissing you – flush skin, wet lips, tousled hair. Only he’s frustratingly stoic, unsullied – like he hadn’t been touching you at all. 
“Look at me,” he says, and you do. 
“This doesn’t mean anything.”
“It’s nothing,” you agree. 
“I won’t be gentle.”
“I don’t want you to be gentle.”
“Good,” you watch his shoulders loosen, just a little, and he takes one step backwards, his eyes tracing down your body and then back up. “Strip for me….” 
You aren’t dressed sexy at all, you remember, a sweatshirt and sweatpants. If you had thought this through a little more, you might’ve tried to make it nicer for him. “....Okay.”
“Start with your shirt,” he says, and you grab at the hem, but he snaps at you. “Ah-ah….slower.”
You swallow, nod, and carefully lift the fabric, dragging it up over your stomach, over the swell of your breasts, revealing your tight, thin white tank top. 
“That’s it, nice and slow.” 
Joel’s voice is soft but stern, a low rasp that makes your cunt clench around nothing, and he’s not even touching you. The sweatshirt is pulled over your head, falling somewhere on the crumpled bedspread. 
Languidly, you lean back, shifting your weight to get off the mattress, and Joel palms himself through his jeans. You can see where he’s straining against the denim, and you find it hard to tear your gaze away as you go to pull off your sweatpants. Joel stops you again. 
“Turn around.”
You do, and you’re sure he has a nice view of your ass as you slide them over your hips, bending over to let the fleece pool around your ankles. Slowly, you rise back up, looking at him over your shoulder for approval. 
“Good girl,” he murmurs. Your stomach flips. A month ago, you would’ve done anything to get him to stay away from you, and now, you’re terrified to disappoint him. 
That’s the problem. You’d spent most of the day fighting for your life — literally. But even after standing behind a barricade of heavily-armed FEDRA soldiers outside the hospital, you didn’t feel as safe as you did when you saw Joel at your door. You need him. For now, at least.
“Now the shirt,” he tilts his head towards the mattress, nodding encouragingly.
You get back on the bed, sitting back on your heels, and begin to pull the tank top up. It’s your last layer up top, you’re not wearing a bra, and you’re feeling a little vulnerable with him just watching you, fully clothed and composed, your gaze falling down to look at the threadbare linens. 
“Eyes up,” he instructs. “Look at me.”
Taking in a shaky inhale, you do. It’s not easy. Everything about him looks dark, animalistic. A coiled ball of energy, waiting to pounce.
But, even when you’re bare before him, he doesn’t. 
“Lie back, close your eyes.”
Of course, you don’t refuse, settling your head against the pillows. 
There’s a sound of a belt – his belt, unbuckling, the snap of a button, the dip of the bed where he kneels when he comes to hover over you. Two hands land on top of your thighs, pressing the backs against his denim-clad knees, thumbs pushing your legs further apart. 
And then…nothing. He’s still. He’s still for so long, that you actually think that something’s wrong. When you open your eyes, you’re met with a view of the underside of his jaw. You can just make out the pinched expression he’s wearing as he looks down upon you. Disdain, maybe…but it’s not meant for you, it’s for someone else….him.
“Joel,” you murmur. Instinctually, you reach for his hand.
The second it makes contact, he smacks your hand away so hard your whole body jolts. “I told you to close your eyes.”
“Sorry,” you mumble quickly, closing them again. 
You are well aware that he’s actively working through shit, probably doing some kind of mental gymnastics to rationalize why it’s okay to fuck you again, which, when you really think about it is kind of….pathetic. It’s the only thing that makes you feel any sort of power in a situation where you’ll surrender everything else. It’s a fair exchange. 
Maybe, on a different day, you would want it softer. You’d like to think he’s capable of that, even though he seems determined he isn’t. Luckily, you don’t want it softer. After today, you want to be so far gone you can’t think. 
Joel answers by leaning down and catching you in a bruising kiss. Finally. You press yourself against him cause you’re freezing and he’s so warm, and you frantically begin to unbutton the flannel he’s wearing, making it about halfway down before he pins your hands above you again.
“Slow down.”
You whine, a little frustrated because all you want to do is touch him. The fingers on his free hand hook around the elastic of your underwear, and he starts to drag them over the curve of your ass. 
He’s got to be joking with how deliberately he’s moving, anticipation only building underneath his featherlight touches.
When he’s got your panties around your ankles, you slide your legs together so he can pull them off entirely, keeping them closed as his weight shifts, and your thighs are pulled back apart.
“You’re already so wet for me,” he doesn’t need to feel you to see it clear as day, with you spread open in front of him. “So fucking desperate.”
He’s all-but glaring at you, like you’ve done something wrong, and for a minute, your eyes flick away, just for a second of relief from the tension.
“What, are you embarrassed?” he asks. 
“N-no,” you stammer, though it was supposed to sound confident. 
Thankfully, he doesn’t press you, his head dipping down to press his lips to your knee, then an inch higher, then an inch higher, then higher – keeping his eyes locked on yours the whole time, an arm winding around your thigh.
“I wanted to do this last time.” A confession. 
“Yeah?” you sigh, trembling. It’s maybe the nicest thing he’s said to you, but you can’t even acknowledge it, because you’re buzzing.
He turns his face, his beard scraping along sensitive skin. “Mhm,” his deep rasp vibrates directly to your cunt, and when his head dips down, you close your eyes – it might just be better to focus on only one sensation at a time, you’re not sure you can handle seeing what he’s about to do.
Joel’s mouth is on you the second you do, and you gasp. He licks up the seam of your lips, mouth latching around your clit, swirling with his tongue, and back down – firm, determined, practiced. You try to buck up, but he has an arm locked around your hips. 
He removes himself from you just enough to utter two words. “Stay still.”
You want to protest, but you realize that he’s let go of your hands, and it gives you the opportunity to thread your fingers into his hair, while you dig your heels into the broad expanse of his back, and he groans, tongue curling into you. 
“I’ve thought about this,” you gasp, answering his earlier admission.
“When?”
“At night. More than once.”
“Fuck,” Joel growls, and you wheeze when he works one finger into you, forcing you to take it along with his next words. “You know how fuckin’ bad that is? Dreamin’ about a man nearly twice your age?”
“I d-don’t care, I want you anyway. Y-you can do whatever you want to me,” It’s too early to be past the point of speaking coherently, it really is, but you’re already there. 
“F-fuck,” Joel repeats himself, and pushes another finger inside you next to the first, the stretch almost uncomfortable, but quickly fading to pleasure. “I’m going to.”
You’re not the going to tell him, though, that he’s the first man whose ever gone down on you, because you’re a little fucking scared for some reason. It’s intimate, very intimate, more than you expected. 
The truth is, you weren’t actually very experienced at all. You could count on one hand the number of partners you’d had, and still not use all of your fingers. While some of them were good enough, they all paled in comparison to Joel. There had never been anyone like Joel. 
His fingers curl as his tongue swirls around your clit and you cry out, inhale sharply. Minute by minute, you’re getting wetter and wetter – can hear yourself with each twist of his fingers inside you, bearing down on him. 
“You taste so fuckin’ good,” he grunts, and your eyes flutter open just for a second, just to see his forehead, dark eyes staring back at you, and his hips dipping, rutting against the mattress. God he’s getting himself off to this. As hot as it is, the thought of not getting to feel him inside you causes a rush of anger. 
“F-feels so good,” you’re right there, already, and it’s pitiful.
“I know, baby, I know,” he says. “You’re already so close, aren’t you?”
Instead of answering, you just nod, gasping. Joel works you right up to the precipice, hands tightening in his hair, hips lifting off the bed – and then he slows a little –  just enough – to pull you back off the edge, and you let out a humiliating sob.
“Shhh!” he hisses with his mouth still on you, resuming the steady pace he had going. A little sigh of relief when you feel your release approaching again. He just lost his rhythm for a moment, it was nothing.
Again, he’s got you right there, you’re so close, hips jerking, breathing in short, sharp pants, something molten working its way up your spine. “Joel, that’s it, please I-”
He falters again – just enough. And it’s gone again.
You realize, with dismay, that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He hadn’t lost his rhythm. He’s doing this on purpose. 
If someone asked – not that anyone would – you wouldn’t be able to recall how long he keeps you in that state, being dragged and dangled, but denied the privilege of falling. It’s torture. 
And at first, you try to be patient. You figure he’ll grow tired, desperate, and eventually want to move on. But apparently, he doesn’t want to move on. He’s content to keep you this way for as long as he sees fit, and you can’t handle it any longer. It’s starting to hurt.
“Please, Joel, let me-” you gasp.
“Let you what?” he pulls back from you, frustratingly too soon, once again.
“Let me come, please, I’ll do anything, I’ll be good, please, please-”
“Just a little longer,” he dismisses you.
All you can do is pant and writhe, completely at his mercy. He keeps going like that, and you’ve stopped trying to filter yourself, the sounds he makes as he laves at you are obscene, you can see yourself glistening on his chin, and can feel the sheets damp beneath you. At this point, he’s enjoying this more than you are.
“Joel,” you plead with him again. “It’s too much, I c-can’t. Just, please I really need-”
“You wanna come for me, baby?” he asks. You nod ferociously. 
“Yes, please, please,” 
“You’re so fucking sweet when you beg, you know that? ” he murmurs. “Wish you were like this all the time.”
“Fuck off,” you manage, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. You should do this to me more often. 
Joel chuckles, and it vibrates just right, his fingers curling again and you moan, hands tightening in his hair. He’s focused now, you can tell because the constant stream of filth he’s been whispering has finally stopped. He’s persistent.
You’re unable to stay quiet, continuing to whimper just like that and please don’t stop over and over. And then all at once, every muscle in your body grows tense and you cry out, cunt pulsing around him so tightly that his fingers slow. “There you go, pretty girl, that’s it.” 
You whisper his name as he continues to fuck his fingers into you, riding you through your orgasm and licking up the mess you’ve made. 
At some point in the aftermath, Joel withdraws from you, and you hear the sting of his zipper. It takes a moment, but you’re able to see him through heavily lidded eyes, kneeling in front of you with his shirt unbuttoned all the way, pants around his ankles, jerking himself slowly in his hand. God he’s fucking huge, how had you forgotten about that? He’s a vision, beard still wet with you, looking down, watching your chest rise and fall. In that moment you realize two things. One, even though you’ve already come, you somehow want him even more than you had before, and two, you’ve never wanted to suck a dick so bad in your life. 
So you sit up, crawl towards him, and reach out with one hand to take him in your palm. He lets you, sighing, closing down his eyes. First, you have to kiss him, so you rise to your knees, and he pulls you into his arms, one of them winding around your waist, the other coming to rest at the small of your back. “You take such good care of me,” you whisper. 
He grimaces at the words like they’re an insult. You expect him to retaliate, to tell you that you shouldn’t say that sort of thing, but he never does. So you kiss him, gently, bringing your free hand to the side of his face. Once again, he lets you, and you taste yourself when his tongue presses into you mouth. You run your thumb over the head of his cock, and he hums against your touch, almost contentedly.
You’re doing whatever you want to him, and you’re shocked he hasn’t put a stop to it. It could be satisfying enough, you think, just to keep kissing him like this. Still, you sink back towards the bed to test things further. You’re about to wrap your mouth around him, but he pulls you off by your hair, so quickly, so hard that you yelp.
“No.” he says firmly. “Lie back.”
“But I just wanted to-”  
“No.” 
You consider trying to reason with him, but decide it won’t be worth whatever he’d do if you continue to argue.
Joel braces himself with one hand above your shoulder, the other wrapped around his cock, slowly teasing you by rubbing himself up and down a few times, before he gives in, finally pushing into you.
“Oh, fuck,” you gasp at the stretch, reaching out grasp at his bicep, arching your back. He’d prepped you, and it was still too much. 
“You can take it,” he says, pressing deeper into you. His hips are all the way flush with yours, he’s to the hilt, and he still snaps them even further, once, holding you there, so deep, you feel like you’re choking on him. “See? There you go.”
It seems like you can’t quite catch your breath, and you squirm underneath him for some kind of friction, some kind of relief from how intense it all is. You can feel him throbbing inside you, feel how badly his own body is begging him to move, but he doesn’t. 
“Joel,” you cradle the back of his head, look him in the eyes. “Move, please.”
He doesn’t answer, he just brings his hand to grip your jaw, his thumb and forefinger pressing into the soft flesh of your cheeks. 
“Please?” you murmur again, and his thumb slips into your mouth, silencing you. You suck on it obediently, and after you do, he finally gives you what you want.
──────
Joel told you he wouldn’t be gentle, and he isn’t. 
He hadn’t been able to do this last time. Taste you, spread you open, fuck you properly. His hips snap against yours – ferociously, unrelenting, over and over. You’ve been going at it for awhile now, and he actually wants you to break. He wants you to tell him to slow down, to be a little more tender, not press into you so deep, so hard, so that if he listens, it wouldn’t mean he’s breaking his own promise. He’s got to be rough with you, because he’s afraid of what could happen if he’s not.
But you don’t break. You fucking take it, take him, each time, again and again, your nails digging into arms, your legs locked around his hips. Each time he delves into you, you’re getting wetter and wetter, and yet, you’re still so fucking tight. He doesn’t understand it. It’s been a long fucking time since he’s been with a woman like you – and you might be the best he’s ever had. 
You’re not even making any noise – you’re just panting, gasping in Joel’s ear as you cling to him, and that’s all. He can’t even look you in the eyes. If he does, he knows you’ll see everything that’s wrong with him, and still beg for him to give you more. 
Two hands land on either side of his face, turning his head so you can kiss him. Despite how he’s treating you, you keep trying to connect, to ground yourself. For as much as he wants to refuse, it feels too cruel to deny you. He lets you lock your lips with his own, feels your cunt clutch him even tighter. It’s impossible for you to kiss for more than a few seconds at a time without it getting broken up by a whimper here and there. You’re getting close again, he’s started to get better at recognizing it.
“You’re fucking so perfect on me, baby, you feel that?” he asks, and you nod, breathless. “Taking me so well, such a good fucking girl-”
A gasp from you cuts him off, your eyes squeezing shut as you are taken over by your climax. Joel groans and does everything he can not to come when you start pulsing around him, holding him closer, since there’s nothing else to do. It’s way too intimate…because it’s missionary, and he should’ve known better than to start off like this. 
Pulling out of you is the hardest thing he’s had to do in a while, and he ignores your noises of protest now that he’s left you empty. Then, he flips you onto your stomach. He takes a moment to admire the curve of your ass, how it dips into your waist….to him, your body is perfect, and you’re young, your skin still supple and smooth. There are still places he hasn’t gotten his mouth on, and it’s a shame, he thinks, but tonight his patience is wearing thin. Joel pulls you back until you’re on your knees, and slides back inside. There’s a little resistance, you whimper, but it’s easier than the first time. He wraps an arm around your waist, the other across your chest, and starts to jerk his hips upwards, into you. 
“Oh fuck, Joel,” you sigh in relief.
“I know, I know.”
You drop your head back until it falls against his shoulder, winding your arm back so you can pull at his hair, which kind of fucking hurts, but he likes it. 
Ultimately, you’re pretty easy to please, and it’s not long before he feels the telltale flutter of your walls as you drip down over him, soaking his lap. 
“You’re making a fucking mess, baby. You gonna come for me again?”
All you can do is plead with him. “I can’t, Joel. I can’t do it again, please just-”
“Yes, you can,” he interjects. “I know you can, baby, don’t worry…I’ll help you.”
“O-okay.’ 
He slows the roll of his hips just a little, focuses on deeper, longer strokes, and lets the hand that’s currently squeezing one of your tits fall to where your bodies are joined, finding your clit immediately.
You whine, arching back against him, the swell of your ass packed against his lower stomach. He sees a single tear leaking from the corner of your eye and feels a little guilty for what he’s doing to you. Only a little, though. 
Without any warning, for the third time, you’re coming around him – easier than the last time, like always – and he uses the feeling of you throbbing around him to chase his own release, his hand clapping over your mouth to muffle your moans as he becomes increasingly frantic. 
He turns his head, rakes his teeth along your exposed neck, and sinks them into your pulse point with a groan. Your breath is hot against him when you whimper in response. 
“Just a little more, honey.” He’s so close. You bob your head, though you’ve nearly gone limp in his arms.
Like last time, Joel knows it’s a bad idea, but he’s not going to pull out. The thought of deliberately coming inside you is actually what sends him over the edge, and he’s cursing and moaning your name. You whine at the feeling of him pulsing inside of you, arching back for more, even though he can tell you’re exhausted. 
It’s fucking freezing in your apartment, and yet, his skin is damp with sweat when he finally regains some awareness of his surroundings. He’s panting, you’re sniffling, a weak smile on your face as you catch your breath. Before he can stop himself, he presses his lips to your cheek. 
Joel tilts you both forward – very tentatively, keeping an arm wrapped around your waist. At some point, your hand settled over top of his, and you threaded your fingers between his own, holding his hand across your stomach. You keep it there, even after you’ve settled onto the bed.  
It takes a few minutes before either of you move, but it’s you who gives in first, wriggling out from where he’s got you trapped partially underneath him. 
You retreat to the bathroom, like you did last time. Somewhere during your coupling the linens have slid down the bed, and Joel settles back against the pillows, throwing an arm behind his head.  Now that he’s stopped sweating, he’s just cold, and he reaches to pull the bedspread over him. He should leave, he thinks, before you come out and ask him to. Beat you to the punch. Maybe while you’re still in the bathroom. 
A few minutes later, and you return from the bathroom, dressed again in sweats. He hears you pour yourself a glass of water, gulping it down. You flick off the lamp on your bedside table, and fall into bed next to him, lying rigidly on your back. He should reach out, pull you against him, let you settle in his arms. Instead, Joel rolls over on his side. 
It’s terrible how beautiful you are, he thinks, watching you stare up at the ceiling, hugging yourself. So beautiful, and fucking smart. You’re strong, too, but not as strong as he wishes you were. Of course, no one could ever be that strong.
He whispers your name. You turn your head, pupils still blown wide with lingering lust.
“You need to learn to defend yourself, to shoot a gun, to fight,” he says. “After today.”
“What?” you roll to face him. 
“You said you didn’t want to die,” Joel continues. “So you need to learn. ‘Case something like that happens again.”
“Oh yeah? Lemme guess, you’re gonna teach me?” your voice is a little hoarse after what he’d done to you, and you smirk at him.
“Yes.” It sobers you up, that he’s not fucking with you, or giving you a hard time. “I owe you, remember?” 
“You do.” 
“So…. I’ll teach you.” 
“....Okay.” 
“Alright.”
Joel rolls over to his opposite side, and you’re left staring at his back. Arms wrapped around 
himself in a tight hug, he waits for you to tell him to go.
You never do. 
Instead, he feels the heat of your body as you curl up against him, slotting one of your legs between his own. Your hand grazes up his ribs, over his bicep – a gentle, quick massage – before you tuck your arm underneath his own, your palm flat against his heart. 
“What are you doing?” he asks, frozen at how tender the embrace is. It’s a foreign feeling, he can’t remember the last time someone touched him like this. 
The tip of your nose hits the nape of his neck, and he can feel your shuddery exhale.
“I’m cold,” you say, like it’s obvious, lips brushing featherlight against his skin. “And if you’re staying, you might as well make yourself useful.”
He can’t roll over and wrap his arms around you. He can’t kiss your forehead or play with your hair or murmur into your ear. He can’t offer you anything in return. Joel decides, though, if he’s going to accept comfort from anyone, it’s going to be from you.
──────
taglist (basically if you asked for a pt 2 on the last part i tagged you): @bbyanarchist @dlwrish @imaginewrites24 @captain-yellow-96 @daisyintheskyewithdiamonds @sludgec0r33 @c0wb0ym3nace
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nihilistem · 9 months
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Hey! I read your study tips both posts regarding adhd . (Feel free to ignore )
I am still undiagnosed and I think it's adhd but i do not have the resources nor the environment or support system to do anything about it .I am a high schooler preparing for entrance exams and i really need to like get my shit together and i feel like i have wasted sm time already but i really do want to get better. When i sit to study i just can't focus if I keep my phone in some other room then also i would just sit and stare at my books without accomplishing something. I am trying really but it's feels like my brain is frozen and my body is moving .my brain keep screaming guilty and ashamed but i can't seem to do anything about it.your study post actually i related to a lot because pomodro kind of seems to be working for everyone but me and the you described the exact same things I do
I know this is a lot to ask for please feel free to ignore but how do I stop Letting my emotions take over and study consistently because I only have one chance at the exams
Oh my, first of all I’d like to say that, as cliché as it is, I know exactly how you feel. I was undiagnosed for so long (I was only diagnosed a few months ago) and I didn’t even know that the adhd things I experience on a regular basis wasn’t normal or neurotypical for so long.
first up : I know this is difficult, but please do not say such things about yourself. I’m not gonna get into the whole thing, (cuz I have done a post on that already) but it’s true that the more you drill that bad stuff into your brain, the more it’s gonna stick. We need our brains to be in the best condition possible to study efficiently and saying bad stuff about yourself that isn’t even true is just going to hinder your performance. You got this. I promise you’re not lazy. Your brain just isn’t motivated by the same things others are, but we can work with that simple difference.
I’ll make a separate post on how not to let your emotions take over, but for now …
adhd study tips for those trying to get into the habit.
— by a stem student with adhd.
here’s my first post on adhd study tips.
— don’t put your phone in a different room. Instead, download an app that prevents you from using other apps on your phone.
there’s plenty of apps that do this but the one I prefer is ypt because all its features are completely free and it stops your timer when you exit the app unless you enter ‘allowed app mode.’ I don’t know about you, but if I find that I’m just zoning out on my textbook then I end up stopping my timer and deleting the record because I know I didn’t actually study, and this motivates me to actually get some work done. The timer also gets me motivated to keep going for longer so I have physical proof of my focus time and studies. It will feel good to even have just 1 hour of study time on it, I promise.
— even if you’re not interested in your studies, try your best to find even one thing that interests you.
novelty, challenge and interest are some of the best motivators of the adhd brain, so use it. I know that sparking your curiosity for a subject you hate seems impossible, but hear me out.
ever since I was young, I was exposed to books and I drew everyday. This caused me to become very passionate about the arts, but since I had adhd and didn’t know, I failed all my classes and specifically hated chemistry because it was specifically designed to be everything that I can’t be good at due to my poor memory and the need to memorize a TON of concepts. Then during class one day, I was doing chemistry work with my friends and felt frustrated that they could easily balance equations and work out which compounds were acids or bases purely by its chemical formula. And that’s what sparked me to start reading my textbook to see what the big deal was. How was it possible for one to just know when something is a acid solely from looking at a bunch of letters? This started a chain reaction; I found my answer, and found that the process of finding my answer and learning this new information was fulfilling. So I looked at all the other chemistry topics, and it turns out chemistry was fun. I was supposed to be an art student but now I’m majoring in chemistry and biology, all because of that sense of challenge and curiosity I was given that day.
tdlr; I was bad at chemistry but I’m now majoring in it because I felt challenged by a friend and was curious to know how they could solve chem equations easily.
All it took was a bit of curiosity. It’s a very powerful thing to the adhd brain. And if you use this as a motivator for your studies it might even cause you to hyper-fixate on your work, which means you’ll naturally spend more time studying just to find all the answers you’re now dying to know.
— use the pomodoro timer, but think about the things that you have to do that seems a little impossible to do under 25 minutes.
This fulfills the ‘challenge’ category I mentioned in the previous tip.
Let me explain; I subconsciously started doing this to myself without anyone telling me this and it’s helped me a LOT. Here’s an example;
“This chapter’s too long, it’s impossible to read through everything and understand the key concepts in just twenty five minutes.”
is it, though?
So I was off to the races, genuinely reading through every page and taking note of every single heading or bold or italicized word so I will be able to summarize the entire topic by the time the twenty five minutes is up.
And it doesn’t even matter if you don’t make that twenty five minute mark, because you’ll feel a sense of defeat and try it again with another chapter/topic.
this accomplishes two things; one, the work you’ve been putting off or zoning out on is now probably 20% - 50% completed and now you feel motivated to continue. Two, this method will train you to be faster in learning or studying new material or even just completing work in general, depending on what you’re challenging yourself to do.
— dress up, do your hair, study at a library or cafe you love (and possibly make pretty notes.)
I’ve talked about interest, I’ve talked about challenge, and now I’m gonna talk about novelty.
Do this with purpose! But what do I mean by that?
I’m sure you’ve come across studious girls in media or even people on social media making videos and taking pretty photos of their day out to study. Usually they’re dressed the part and even if they’re not, there’s a certain vibe, aesthetic or aura about them that is just so desirable that it makes you wish you were doing what they were doing. And if you don’t feel this way, find content creators or media that do make you feel this way.
How will this help me? Well, there are actually a few reasons but the first one that comes to mind is that this is also an adhd tip used outside of studying. Combining a task you don’t want to do with a task you’d like to do is a faster and more efficient way of convincing yourself to do long, difficult or even tiring tasks. Another is that doing this would also mean you’ve technically gotten yourself to desire studying, something more commonly known as romanticizing studying. If you make studying look fun, glamorous or even desirable for yourself then you’re sure to get to the hideous parts of it. Think about being a straight A student, someone who’s always wearing nice clothes with great hair and such a focused work ethic. Once you desire to be that person and you dress like that person, you’ll start to do the things that person will do.
— use the pomodoro timer but set it to even shorter bursts instead. (e.g. 15 minutes work, 5 minutes break.)
Or hell, on my worst days I set it to 5 minutes work, 5 minutes break.
The whole point of this exercise is to just start, because that’s arguably the hardest part about studying, you can’t get yourself to actually start or to actually focus. So promise yourself a five minute break after a very short amount of time of reading.
— skip straight to the questions of a topic, try to do them and identify the information you need to get the answer right.
For example, I came across a bio question that was rather simple but I didn’t know the answer to because I haven’t revised the topic for a while, and the question was, what is needed in the body for anaerobic respiration to take place? And the answer was simple, but I didn’t know because again, I didn’t study the material before answering the paper.
one’s brain can have the habit of being complacent especially when you don’t wanna do work, so diving head first into the questions and realizing that you don’t know jack shit would be a good wake up call for you and your brain—and this can connect to the second point that I made because you might find that you’d be eager to get the answer right all on your own, and become curious as to what the answer is.
important to remember …
erase everything bad that you were told or led to believe about studying. I promise that if you look for ways to make it engaging for you and form a habit, studying can be something you don’t dread or worry about everyday. You are capable. This is the start of your journey. Yes, the question of ‘what if I get distracted again’ will always be there but think about what could happen if today is the first day you’re not distracted. If you don’t at least try to start now, you will have zero chance of being able to actually focus and study. But if you try, the worst that will happen is that you tried. If you keep trying, it will happen. I promise.
If you need any more tips regarding adhd, (or being undiagnosed,) please do let me know. I’ll do my best to help.
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henrysglock · 3 months
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High Existence and ZeroSpace: The First Shadow and NINA May Be Massive, Immersive Drug Trips
The blurb in last Friday's video from TFS sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I found a lot of sites quoting The Alchemist about the universe conspiring to give you what you truly want (which is similar and it's probably what I was thinking of when this blurb registered as familiar), but I couldn't find this exact quote:
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Well...not at first, anyway. I decided to stick every word I could make out here ^ into my search bar...and I found where the blurb comes from:
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This blog post is quite literally the only source I could find for it, and the whole damn thing is directly lifted.
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Right off the bat, the site fucking jump-scared me:
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And it doesn't end there. Let's dive in, because this rabbit hole is a trip unto itself...no MDMA​ ​required.
1. The Fucking Website...#1 (HighExistence.com)
High Existence is a sort of drug-induced-spiritual-trip centered self-help site.
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It's got blog posts and podcasts and all that jazz. Here are some of the highlights:
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Wow! That was...a lot. A lot of words from the word show, too:
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Wholeness, heroes, ancient aliens, prisons of politeness, and the fucking Shire, too, I guess. Why not?
(An Aside: I've included the VR in here too because of the sheer similarities between Henry's experience with the Shadow in VR, El's experience in NINA, and The First Shadow in general.)
Like fuck it, why not keep going, these posts date back to at least 2017:
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And don't let me start in on that Creel boy and Faust...
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[Jason voice] "[Eddie] made a deal with the devil and now he has his powers!" (Also we get it, one of them is neurotic and the other is psychotic. I've been saying this since like...forever)
Of course, all that insanity aside, the Russian base arc has just...an insane amount of ST4 and TFS stuff packed into it in general:
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(And this isn't even all of it. I know others [cough] Stav Heroesbyler [cough] have covered it even more...but bro it is THERE)
But most importantly for the NINA arc:
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Three things: Dialogue doubling (there's the one I showed, plus a) Robin yelling "Wipeout!" at Steve which has the pipeline -> "Wipeout!" at Rink-O-Mania -> 002-005 bullying El in a very similar manner and b) Steve's "that's amazing" line about the water fountain -> "This is amazing!" not only from Alice irt the Creel house but also from Mike irt Will's painting on their way to save El from NINA. Again, these are just a few of MANY instances), makeup doubling with the bloodshot eyes, and my beloved: set/prop doubling.
I love that beautiful framing on the nearly-identical square clocks. I have so much to say about that clock, but specifically:
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The clocks being set 9 minutes apart, which happens to be the exact length of time from the end of Vecna's voiceover in 4.07 to the start of the fight sequence in 4.07 (aka the length of One's frozen-clock monologue).
Not only that, but the clock isn't even right. It says it's 3:55, but it's definitely not 3:55 AM (see: movie theater scene) but it's also not 3:55 PM:
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(And why do we have a clock in an elevator anyway? That's the real question. That thang only exists to deliver subtext, baby! It exists to connect the two scenes further!)
Anyway, as you all likely noticed, this site mostly deals in psychedelics, stimulants, and empathogens.
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link
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Hell, you could even pull One's bit on the ecosystem into it, since he's describing connections between beings that are being disturbed/destroyed by humanity.
Anyway, the site tends to center specifically on DMT and MDMA...so let's talk about those:
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MDMA & DMT An aside: Interesting to me that psychosis here can be counteracted with sedatives. Makes me wonder if whatever happened in 1979 could have been halted if they'd just tranq'd One. Hm.
First off: Did I read that right? Piggy-backing? Damn, son. 4.09, The Piggyback, is pictured in that paragraph. So is Brenner's candy bit with the children -> "candy flipping" vs LSD use in Brenner's lab.
Second: Ah, how nice. Intravenous/injectable. Just like how El is constantly being shot up with...something...to enter NINA.
Now, nearly all psychedelics can induce psychosis, but especially so if they're combined with other psychoactive substances and/or if the user has a history of psychosis (either themselves or in their family).
However, MDMA specifically has been posited as a treatment for PTSD and retrograde/traumagenic amnesia:
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link Like...wow. Okay, I guess!
tl;dr: One seems to have been tripping fucking balls during the monologue. Literally every fucking version of him. El likely is as well. Funny how that works. Was any of that real? [smash cut to the way blood pours down the walls and the dead children dance around in the VR version of NINA] And either way, Henry in TFS isn't far behind with his hallucinogenic moments.
The connection? Whatever the hell is going on in Hawkins Labs...and symptoms of drug use.
I was not expecting to get this much out of a single rabbit hole. But...that's life with this show, isn't it? And this is only Part 1.
2. The Fucking Website...#2 (Futurism.com)
The guy who made that original post that TFS lifted the blurb from (Jordan Lejuwaan) runs a couple different websites. The most interesting one is Futurism, which is basically an online version of the Weekly Watcher:
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It won't let me filter by date, but it seems to have been founded in 2017, stemming from an infographic subreddit. (Now, it says it's a trustworthy news source, and maybe it is, but... Do your own assessment of that. I'm not your mother, yknow?)
Jordan Lejuwaan was also involved in something far more interesting irt Stranger Things...
3. Zero Space
Jordan co-founded an immersive, interactive theater experience called ZeroSpace back in 2018. As we all know, TFS was just in the beginning phase of its creation around this time.
So...This was like a brick to the skull:
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"Alice in Wonderland" (don't get me started: rabbit fuckery, DRUGS!!!!!, clocks/being later, Alice Creel, Fringe connections (Through The Looking Glass and What Walter Found There being the episode about the pocket universe where 20 years passed in 5 days...and also wherein we find out about him hiding away an Observer child that he will later time travel with to save the world from the Observer takeover...erasing himself from time/the timeline by doing so...there is SO much) not to mention the "one pill makes you larger/smaller" vs teen El and baby El...it's too much to try and fit in this post), "ALIENS AND LASERS", "stretch the perceived reality of the sense", "art, actors and your own mind converge to prompt MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS" (which was a common complaint about TFS: it leaves people with more questions than answers).
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("See you on the other side" being an in-show line from Henry in the lab to Patty in the void, but this image is ripped directly from the same promo video that the High Existence blurb appears in.)
Here's a little taste of what ZeroSpace is like, but I suggest going to the actual page to see it in action:
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It's heavily heavily reminiscent of TFS, even just in the content warnings...
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Not to mention the actual show content SFX:
However, the goal of TFS isn't to stretch our senses. We're just watching. We are not the volunteer seeing the other side.
For most of the show, that person is Henry (except the first 5 mins, when it's Cptn. Brenner and his crew literally experiencing the other side). Henry is doing the experiencing. He's the one breaking the fourth wall by picking at/breaking the sets, the one running through the audience and leaving out the theater doors (only to end up right back on stage just like El in the Rainbow Room in 4.05).
With each bit of info I find out adjacent to the play, the more convinced I am that this is some secret third boy's experience in a NINA-like simulation.
Overall—
a) TFS most likely isn't wholly real, and it seems very likely that it's the same kind of simulation as NINA.
b) El was probably drugged up with some kind of empathogenic psychedelic going into NINA, likely with the goal of setting her up to form emotional connections quickly and deeply only to rip that deep connection away in order to bolster her abilities.
c) NINA is not, then, wholly based in truth. Parts of NINA (staring at the bullying from 002-005) may have been generated from El's memories of the outside world.
d) With NINA and TFS seeming so similar, I wouldn't be shocked if parts of it are just one massive empathogen trip (staring at how quickly Henry and Patty bond, similarly to how quickly Henry and El bond in NINA).
e) Whoever is in NINA with teen El is also tripping balls, most likely, and may have gone off the rails in that regard. However, that's in a simulation...hard to assign guilt or blame for things done in a fictional/unreal world.
f) Whoever was with baby El in 1979 may have been in a similar situation "moving chess pieces"-style instead. Read: drugged in order to put him in a situation where he would bolster El's latent abilities...and it went wrong (see also: Walter Bishop's orchestrated/fake massacre meant to bolster Olivia's latent abilities.)
g) Richard Brenner having been the head of narcotics makes me question which Brenner we're seeing at any given time: Martin, or Richard?
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tobiasdrake · 3 months
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Guess I'll wrap things up in town and head to the re-sleepover.
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Okay, last time I was here, I weirded out this child. This time, I'm gonna TRY. HARDER.
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Jackpot. Children love puns about their favorite thing. Now this small child of no clear importance thinks I'm cool.
That is very important to me.
I don't know why.
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FROG SPELL
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Nyeh heh heh heh heh! I have discovered the cheat code to being popular with kids. It's frogs. The cheat code is frogs.
Now if only I could extend that popularity to adults.
And my teammates.
And now. We have. THE FLOWER. Aggggggggh the flower. So much pressure. Hmm. Maybe I can bribe Bonbon into not hating me.
HEY HALF-PINT, PRESENT FOR YOU
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Because I'm trying to improve our team's cohesion and the friction that exists between you and me is basically our only interpersonal conflict. Consider this an olive branch.
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and call this one "Mission Failed" since I'm pretty sure I just made things awkward and weird. There might not be a way to bury the hatchet with this kid. They're under a lot of stress.
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I just want to know who keeps breaking the bread. I was specifically watching for it and it still crept up on me. I blinked for one second - Well, okay, I had a brief chat with my Lemonfriend about ignoring all of you but that's beside the point - and then there was just this hideous CRACK and the bread was ripped in half.
How!? WHEN!? WHO!?
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You could just tell me now and then I'll know it so when I die and you've un-told it to me I can spare you the embarrassment of telling me.
Then again maybe we should keep it on the down-low to avoid making my Lemonfriend jealous. I'm sure they're listening in on every word we say. They're clingy and stalkerish like that.
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Wow. We're back here again already. In my defense, I DID check for traps. I very briefly skimmed each pillar so I'm pretty sure there has to be some sort of complex--
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Well. Okay then.
I now realize that the cause of my death was, in fact, that I suck at my job. Cool.
I would make a remark here about "going to crawl under a rock and die" but the boulder has a sense for ironic timing so it's best not to chance it. Let's just flick this stupid switch and move on.
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Done. Mistake unmade. No longer have I died a clown. DO YOU HEAR THAT, LEMONFRIEND!? I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY NOT DIED.
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BOOM, nothing to worry about now. It should be smooth sailing from here. Let's go commit regicide with extreme prejudice.
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Cutlery is an interesting subject matter, actually. There's a lot of differentiation in individual sizes, shapes, and compositions of individual cutlery that contribute to a variety of different meal experiences. Even chopsticks come in many different forms.
But this would fall under the category of etiquette. I'm not quite sure if Madame Odile's field of expertise falls into that wheelhouse. Though I could see it....
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Hey, give me some credit. You know how hard it is to cheat gratuitously under four different sets of watchful eyes?
You call it cheating. I call it speed practice. That's the kind of manual dexterity that lets me throw signs so fast.
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Well that's fucking dangerous. THANKS FOR JUST BRINGING IT UP NOW, BONNIE. What if I slipped on that?
<.<
>.>
What... if I slipped on that....
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Zero hesitation. FOR SCIENCE!
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YES
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Okay. We have proven that my lemon drop powers will still bring me back in time even if I'm frozen in time. This is a very useful piece of information to establish, so it's good to get that out of the way before we meet the King while the risk is still....
...
...while the risk is still....
...
Oh. Wait. That could have been really bad for me. If that didn't work then--
LET'S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT HAHAHA I'm sure my Lemonfriend wouldn't have left me strander there. It's fine. The important thing is that I now know my ability to loop is immutable even by time.
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This is what PROGRESS looks like. >:D
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hey you seem to really know your stuff with titanic and im curious if you can tell me more about that night? a lot seem to think everyone either just drowned or froze too death, but i have a feeling it was a lot more awful than people realize, considering all the jokes people make about the sinking they seem clueless to the fact this was a very bad and awful way to die, for everyone on that ship, especially the third class :/
you know, ive always thought i didnt know that much about titanic but as ive sat here parsing through what i do know, turns i know a lot more than i thought.
and unfortunately, anon, youre very right, it was a horrible way to die, especially so for the third class.
quite a lot of people did drown or freeze to death which are horrifying ways to go by themselves.
at the time, evacuation plans for big oceanliners were shit so a lot of people wouldnt have gotten their lifesavers on, and off the top of my head, i wouldnt be able to tell you how many people could swim back then, but it was certainly less than today. it was only in the 90s that swimming became a compulsory part of the curriculum in schools in the uk, so unless you had reason to know to swim, you probably didnt know if you were british.
and i dont think i need to go into the biology of drowning to tell you its not a fun way to go. its fucking painful, for one, and two, you would have been terrified if you drowned during a fucking shipwreck.
it was also very cold, unsurprisingly. its the north atlantic. it was about 28°F or -2°C which is a lethal temperature. for some reason, a lot of people think that freezing is a relatively peaceful way to die; its not. i cant speak myself for how awful being so cold youre shivering is (i cant really feel the cold because of nerve damage but thats beside the point), but everyone ive spoken to about it resoundingly says its fucking awful. you also experience disorientation, muscle stiffness, excruciating pain in your extremities as your body pulls circulating blood from them to keep your vital organs going, and if youre very unlucky, you might also get frostbite (which can kick in under 30mins) which will add some burning pain.
an added kicker to the cold is that even if you can swim, the shock of cold water might make it harder. im pretty sure shock also likely killed people outright.
another way of dying if you made it out of the boat and into the water (spoiler: several people didnt) is if you were too close to the funnels when they collapsed, you would have been crushed by 62ft tall metal funnels. dozens died that way and if the crushing didnt kill you, you would have either drowned or frozen to death soon after.
you could have also been killed by any number of things that fell from the ship, especially as the stern (the end bit) began to lift up before the ship finally broke in two.
mind you, all of this happened in almost darkness. the engineers kept the lights on as long as they could but eventually they cut out and part of what made the iceberg so hard to see was the fact that it was a new moon.
one of the other things that made it hard to spot is one of the few not good things, but better: the ocean was relatively calm. it made it hard to spot icebergs because you can normally watch out for the foam of the water as it splashes on them. although it led to the sinking itself, it did make launching lifeboats possible (its hard as hell to launch lifeboats in violent ocean today let alone the dinky little wooden ones back then) and those in the water werent being thrown around as much as they could have been. though thats not saying much.
and of course, there are those who didnt make it out of the boat. movies did not lie to you about that although they did lie to you about the specifics.
historical record suggests that they did not purposefully lock third class passengers below deck like many movies show. testimony from the few third class passengers who survived indicates this which is why im likely to believe it. they were able to get up on deck, but it also wasnt easy to do that.
now, crew have said in the haste of the evacuation, they didnt remember to tell the third class passengers the plan. now is that true or is it just a more favourable story to tell during the inquiry? i cant say, for sure. either could be true and both highlight how we treated the poor in society back then (and as a poor, its reflective of today). as such, many third class passengers simply left the cabins and waited outside to be told what to do and that didnt happen. eventually, they made their way up themselves, some due to the fact that they could see the rising water.
and not all of them made it to deck. some chose not to, and again, going off third class survivor testimony here which is why im willing to believe it. theres a specific story about a woman who put her baby on her lap and simply played the piano until the atlantic rose to meet her. another of a man who told his brethren that he was too old to fight the atlantic, and simply lit a cigarette and waited.
others got lost because titanic was a large ship and it was very easy to get lost. especially in the panic of a sinking ship and under lights that are getting dimmer. luckily, some crew remembered oh shit the poor people exist and went down to help any that needed it, so some were led out but that doesnt mean they all did.
also, sadly, it probably wouldnt have helped. similarly to the engineering crew that kept the engines going as long as they could before evacuating themselves, there simply werent enough lifeboats and they were all or almost all gone.
additionally, there were no lifeboats on the third class deck space so they had to make their way to either second or first in order to get into a lifeboat. dont quote me on this because i might have the wrong place, but this is where there was a locked gate for third class. luckily, they snapped the lock off of it and got the fuck out.
anyway, back to those inside. now some of the people trapped inside likely drowned, especially those trapped in the bow as it slowly filled with water and began to sink into the water. the risk of drowning also got worse, once things like walls and doors gave out and in comes a rush of freezing cold sea water.
but that isnt the only likely fate. a rush of water can push quite a lot of things and terrifying speeds which meant people would have been killed via blunt force trauma or being impaled on something. especially for those in the stern (again, the back bit) as it lifted because gravity is not helping here. those still trapped inside would have held on for dear light as the light slowly dimmed and became redder before finally cutting out as the ship broke in two.
now if you were in the stern and escaped death via drowning, blunt force trauma or impaling, you would have definitely been killed by water pressure. see, the bow was able to fill with water relatively slowly and equally which is why its still decently intact on the seabed because it sank relatively slowly. the stern did not and thats why the stern looks like an underwater crash site. as the stern sank, it sank quickly which meant there were still air pockets inside as it sank. and as it came down, the pressure built and soon the people above water could hear what sounded like explosions. it would have been a quick death, but thats the most i can say.
i cant speak for if any kind of sealife killed anyone. i havent heard of any testimony of that and i dont know whats there in the north atlantic to kill people. i assume theres something there, but i couldnt tell you what.
im also sure i missed some forms of death, but off the top of my head, thats what i got.
and yeah, it wasnt pretty and most of the people who died were third class or crew members.
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Note
Hi! I've been doing a ton of research on snakes and really want to get one. But today I read an article from PETA basically saying do not get a pet snake under any circumstances for a bunch of different reasons (https://www.peta.org/living/animal-companions/snakes-never-pets/). Thoughts?
Link for everyone to the artcile - be warned that this is PETA, though, so definitely read with caution and your critical thinking glasses. Article contains many images of animal suffering.
So, like with many other things that PETA put out, most of this list is absolute malarkey. I totally get that it sounds really compelling if you're still new to the reptile-keeping scene, though! So I'm going to go through this list point by point, and hopefully that'll help. :)
"The pet trade is abysmal."
Yeah, it is. Fortunately, you can (and should!) avoid contributing to reptile breeding mills by buying a snake from an ethical breeder. I never recommend buying your pet reptile from a chain pet store. Buying from a reputable breeder, though, means you'll be getting a healthy, well-started pet, and supporting a small business to boot! Check out my "buying a snake" tag for tips!
2. "No captive environment can compare to snakes' natural habitats."
This argument really hinges on the assumption that snake owners are tossing their pets into a barren glass box. That is not what good snake owners do. The point of a good snake enclosure is allow room and opportunity for natural behaviors, like climbing, burrowing, and exploring.
3. "Snakes aren't 'starter pets.'"
No, they're not. That's why I always advocate for a great deal of research before buying any reptile.
PETA also brings up a study that "75% of pet reptiles die within one year in captivity" - this study is heavily skewed by counting wild-caught lizards, which are notoriously fragile. If you buy a reptile from a reputable breeder and your husbandry is good, the chances of your pet dying within the first year are very small.
4. "Snakes have specific needs that are nearly impossible to meet in captivity."
Frankly, if you don't know that your snake will have highly specific temperature, humidity, and enrichment needs, you shouldn't be buying a snake. We know that it's possible to meet the needs of snakes because their captive lifespans average literal lifetimes over wild lifespans, and minimalist keeping isn't okay.
5. "Buying small animals to feed a snake supports the cruel pet trade, even if you adopt a snake."
I never recommend feeding your snake live rodents. Instead, feed your snake frozen/thawed rodents - they're bred for the purpose from non-pet lines, and are humanely euthanized before being sold.
6. "Having a snake doesn’t make you look edgy—just foolish."
This one kinda baffles me, to be honest. The people who buy a pet snake just to look "edgy" should not be buying snakes.
7. " Not only can snakes make you sick, you can also make them sick."
This point hinges on the risk of reptiles transmitting salmonella to humans, which you can easily avoid by taking common sense precautions. The snake health issues mentioned, like respiratory illness, are all associated with poor husbandry and are not an innate risk to captive snakes.
8. "Snakes have feelings."
We can't be sure how snakes experience the world. That said, though, when PETA argues here that minimalist keeping causes snakes pain, they're right. No snake should ever be kept in a barren enclosure - and, once again, people who keep them that way shouldn't have snakes.
9. " Snakes have rights."
I'm a strong believer in animal welfare, and that means animals should always be free from poor treatment. I don't believe that captive-bred pet snakes are suffering, though. There is just no evidence to support that.
Like a lot of PETA's stuff, this article heavily relies on misinformation and presenting bad situations from the chain store pet trade as the norm.
There can be many good reasons not to get a pet snake - maybe you aren't in a situation where you can find or afford necessities like a large enclosure, f/t food, or veterinary care. Maybe a snake just isn't the right pet for you! But snakes in captivity are most often perfectly ethical pets, and if you do your research before buying, you can ensure a pet snake will live a long, happy life.
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phoenixyfriend · 2 years
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[rotates a fic concept based on a Frozen fic I read years ago]
(I'll link the fic and explain the premise a the bottom of the post. If you've read Ghost on the Wire, that's my inspo. If you haven't, check the bottom for the summary.) Easy option for the AU in question is Domino twins because [gestures at Echo], buuuuuuuuuuuut I think it would be interesting with Anakin as the kidnapped experiment sibling and Obi-Wan finding him years later.
Consider:
Ahsoka, age 12, is the padawan to Obi-Wan Kenobi, who lost his first padawan seven years ago and has been in mourning and self-doubt since; everyone thinks it's a miracle that he took her on, and she tries not to rock the boat because what if he decides he's not ready for another kid after all?
She's got a weird friend online that… well, if she complains about a senator or a mission, this person hunts down files pointing to questionable behavior by said senators and then dumps them in the Jedi's evidence box.
Since they're anonymously provided, the Jedi can legally use them to gain warrants, etc, because even if the law was broken to achieve it, they didn't do anything illegal, pay anyone to do anything illegal, or encourage anyone to do the illegal thing.
Obi-Wan takes a bit longer than he should to catch on to Ahsoka having a definitely criminal online friend, but decides to allow it so long as she lets him monitor interactions with this one specific person. He realizes that Ahsoka's random mentions of details coincide with certain infodumps, which Ahsoka wouldn't know because she's not privy to the fact that said data dumps happened at all.
War breaks out. Obi-Wan is frequently in a panic, because he already had one underage padawan die under his watch, and he's terrified of it happening again.
Various shenanigans, Ahsoka keeps up correspondence with her friend but it's much more heavily monitored now, in case of security violations. The friend still gives her heads up about suspected Separatist activity based on algorithmic analysis of shipping patterns and the like.
The friend tells Ahsoka he's in trouble. He needs help. Given the amount of information he's been giving the Jedi, they can consider him a confidential criminal informant that needs extraction and could continue being useful (important so they can justify using military resources when the Senate asks about budget expenditures).
They find Anakin, in a very similar setup to S7 Echo
Obi-Wan is. Not okay.
Ahsoka is freaked out by Anakin's physical state but fuck it! Friend! He needs medical help and he's really not exactly cognizant of the world around him.
Get him back to the ship. Get back to the Temple. Get him some medical help.
Figure out what the fuck is going on.
Turns out Anakin was captured on Sidious's orders when he was like... IDK ten. And then underwent experiments under the supervision of the Sith Lord. He still doesn't know who the Sith is, because Sidious saw his chatting with Ahsoka and only allowed it for as long as it wasn't anything too damaging, which means it was all either something that benefited Sidious, or something Anakin only barely managed to hide inside larger data packets (including his final request for help; he's gotten much better at cyber security on his own brain over the years).
But Sidious never did let Anakin know what his real identity is.
IDK where this goes but I do know Anakin is incredibly insistent on helping Ahsoka and the Jedi, and also that Obi-Wan cries on Anakin a lot.
He definitely would NOT be allowed out in the field, into battle, because the amount of physical therapy he needs. Immense. But he's probably with the 501st and 212th as their main data analyst/strategic dude? In this situation, the 501st doesn't technically have a Jedi, they're just a legion under the larger command of Obi-Wan and Cody, with their direct CO being Yularen, but Ahsoka's paired up with them regularly and she is honorary Jedi for the legion and everyone expects to get her officially once she's knighted, if the war lasts that long.
I do know that he chose Ahsoka to befriend because he had a vision of her becoming Obi-Wan's padawan a few years before it happened and went OH. BABY SISTER.
Any fic on this topic would have a heavy focus on Anakin's experiences with disability and recovery.
I feel like, while he can recover from a lot of the muscle atrophy etc, he probably has permanent damage to his bones and general health. He needs mobility aids, maybe a service animal to keep an eye on his physical state. Possibly epilepsy, since there was so much done to him neurologically. He definitely sleeps more than most people, has a very specific dietary plan, and relies a lot on the Force for things like getting things off of shelves.
A lot of this fic would by necessity happen with Anakin in a medical pod, communicating either in chat format or with a speaker. Possibly projected as a hologram approximation of himself despite the real body being in the pod.
Especially early on, he really is just text chat, before the war starts.
I think for the first few months of the war, when Anakin is still just a criminal internet friend Ahsoka happens to have, there are a lot of instances of him slicing into her comm during a mission and offering directions or information while she's like. Three quarters of a mile into a sewage system infil.
He's been on mute this entire time, but someone asks if the others remember which way to go, and he just pops up with "turn left."
It's the first time Ahsoka's ever heard his voice (or rather, an approximation of what he thinks he'd sound like at this age using some synthesizers normally used for waiter droids,) and it scares the crap out of her.
He wants to tease his baby sister! Sure she doesn't know she's his baby sister yet. But it's his obligation as a big brother.
They spend most of those months thinking he's some super cool slicer in a basement lair with eight screens and a bottle of orange soda and, basically, they're imagining Hardison from Leverage.
It's uhhhhh not quite that.
I think Ahsoka's a little betrayed at first that Anakin didn't tell her who he was, but she gets over it in favor of THIS IS MY FAVORITE PERSON LOOK HOW COOL HE IS pretty quickly
"It's my older brother's birthday and if everybody doesn't clap for him I'm going to blow up this entire ship."
Ahsoka: I'm gonna rob a BANK and Skyguy's gonna help! Obi-Wan: Ahsoka please he's still reco-- Anakin: DAMN RIGHT I AM where are we going
A whole lot of the emotional core would be the development for Anakin and Obi-Wan in a context where one's been mourning the other for so many years, and feels guilt for accepting his death instead of searching for him, even though he had evidence of Anakin's death (like "Sidious used Anakin's DNA to feign an accurate corpse burnt to a crisp" levels of evidence).
Obviously, there needs to be a heavy plot regarding figuring who took Anakin, why they did what they did, and whether there's any way to find them again.
I think the Domino twins steal Anakin for shenanigans of their own regularly, in part because they were usually the two with Ahsoka when Anakin popped up and started offering advice unasked.
IDK how I want to do the Rex&Anakin dynamic. That part's still percolating.
I do think Obi-Wan is very… delicate with him? He fusses. Anakin appreciates the part where Obi-Wan regularly tells him he's proud and loves him, but he's quickly very irritated by Obi-Wan treating him like he's made of glass.
Obi-Wan, however, is much more emotionally delicate than in canon, because he lost his master and his padawan within two or so years of each other, and blames himself for both. Part of him is convinced that Anakin also blames him.
(And part of Anakin… does.)
(For giving up on him, instead of searching for him even after evidence of his death came up.)
(Even though he knows, from conversations with Ahsoka before he revealed his identity, that Obi-Wan mourned him for years upon years before he took another student)
There's probably a specific medic whose job is at least 25% "Skywalker stuff."
I feel like it's easy to assign Kix to be Anakin's primary medic (there's a Jedi back at the Temple that's in constant contact) BUT I think it would make sense for there to be someone on hand as an assistant for the day to day, since he's on a military vessel and most of it isn't built in a way that's easy for him to navigate, especially with the Force, so I think it would be interesting to have Dogma assigned as Anakin's temporary care aide.
He's definitely someone who'd thrive on having a detailed list of Things That Need Doing, for a Jedi that has trouble remembering to take the medication that Kix said he needed, or to eat, or what have you.
And Anakin would. Probably have Dogma help him break many laws and regulations. Could be good for him.
Anakin: I want some hot chocolate. Dogma: That's not on the list Kix gave me. Anakin: But I want it. Dogma: ... Anakin: [starts levitating ingredients] Dogma, vibrating and maybe tearing up a bit: SIR PLEASE--
(Obi-Wan can be convinced to give him the hot chocolate. His brain is just going Baby Boy. Baby.)
Dogma makes so many calls to Kix for help keeping Skywalker alive.
Someone suggested he get an exoskeleton-style aid (think Rhodey post-CACW), but I think he does prefer more mundane mobility aids. Like, he's been forcibly teched up for… eight years? It's nice to have something that's just. Not that.
It's a chair with a motor. It's crutches with special padding. It's the Force, sometimes. Yeah he could take a shot at complex external support, but... he'd rather stick with the basics.
It's also like. A separation thing? He still uses his neurological hookup to do data analysis and slicing for the GAR and the Jedi (even though he was told MANY times that he doesn't have to and everyone would like it very much if he just stayed home at the Temple and focused on recovering), but he'd like to be able to ditch the complex tech stuff by choice when he's not at work.
I think Anakin puts a lot of stock in his ability to be useful. He'd want to 'detox' from it, so to speak, for a few months at a time very year or so. Just get out somewhere rural with lots of nature and a manageable number of people, and minimal tech. Regular missions with AgriCorps, maybe.
But he'd still think that, now that he has these skills and connections, it's irresponsible to not use them to help people.
I do not have the energy to write this out as an entire epic, which it probably deserves, but. Concept.
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The Frozen fic was ghost on the wire.
Cyberpunk AU. Major element is that some people get neurological hook-ups to the internet and slowly get addicted to it to the point where they lose themselves to it (think the dream addicts in Inception, I guess?) The parents had died early on, and the sisters had been split up Anna made friends with a weirdo online, used this friendship to investigate the suspicious deaths of the parents. Weirdo is an insanely good hacker. Goes on a Recovery mission for the weirdo. Turns out the weirdo is actually Elsa, who was forcibly hooked up to the internet as a weapon? Ish? IDK she's a mega-useful hacker but she's been trapped in a medical pod thing for the past however many years and can't walk. Can barely talk, and regularly gets back inside a medical pod due to the lack of motor function and medical instability, and she needs to speak clearly to plan Cool Heists for the conspiracy investigation.
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girl4music · 6 months
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Watching the Frozen movies again. Remembering how much I love them. You know for children’s movies, they actually can get pretty dark when you really analyze the concepts used to tell the story. Showing how quickly magic can become a very destructive thing when not handled correctly or when there’s a lack of emotional control. Elsa’s magic being more so PK ability. That of hydrokinesis/cryokinesis. The psychic ability to manipulate or control water, ice or frost.
There has been similar stories about this with the element of fire as well. Stephen King’s ‘Firestarter’ specifically comes to mind. And many a Marvel or DC character have possessed these supernatural abilities.
It really is about learning to control your inner power because psychic ability (or magic) is an extension of our thoughts and emotions - of our internal selves. The Frozen movie specifically tells the story of a gifted/cursed child that has to overcome their fear of putting their loved ones in danger out of a mishandling and lack of control of their mental and emotional power - which manifests as a physical supernatural ability.
You take the metaphor of that away and you’re left with a child who grows up to be afraid of their own power because they’ve been taught that it’s wrong, that it’s a threat, that it’s destructive and chaotic. When really, what’s more dangerous is repressing it because the fear of it only continues to grow instead and that can be even more destructive in the end.
This is a very dark concept to be telling the story of in a children’s movie if not for the metaphor being used.
But this is also why it connects to an older audience.
Why it works as an all-the-family movie because the older audience can see behind the metaphor to the strong and substantial message that’s there while the younger audience thinks it’s cool and entertaining but can come to relate and resonate with the characters.
Both Frozen 1 and 2 navigate these icy waters quite literally to tell the story of the danger of repression. Keeping it in over letting it out when the latter, while still dangerous, is less dangerous than the former because there’s no emotion more chaotic than fear. And when you possess such immense power that you can’t control, and there’s no real guidance for how to… that fear only intertwines with that immense inner power and exacerbates it - it doesn’t stop or quell it. In that way the moral to the story is about allowing and accepting our inner power than it is about controlling or concealing it and that’s why it’s so empowering and captivating to audiences of any age or gender. They learn that repression just makes power worse because there’s no true understanding of it in the first place.
And I feel like a lot of people who do possess psychic/intuitive power innately need to know and learn this because they’re taught and encouraged to control and conceal their power more so than they are taught to allow and accept themselves as they naturally are.
Speaking from personal experience - when I realized that I was psychic and possessed claircognizant and clairsentient abilities, I didn’t understand my experiences: I thought there was something wrong with me and there was no one I could talk to about it. So having a fictional character like Elsa when I was young would have really helped me with knowing and understanding myself and my own abilities before I had even come across the right or correct “term” and “definition” for them. Before I knew that they were good and that they were a natural part of who I am.
The Frozen movies matter to someone like me that does possess psychic power and ability. But they would also matter to someone not like me because the metaphor doesn’t have to be taken literally. It could simply just be that of understanding our inner power and that we are just as worthy with it or without it.
And that’s the deep story there behind the metaphor. But also very much through the metaphor as well. For me it’s through the metaphor but for most people it’ll be behind the metaphor. Both are just as empowering.
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undercat-overdog · 4 months
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In “Dwell in Death’s Shadow” you have a Maedhros who is of the opinion that elves shouldn’t bring children into the world when they may experience extreme hardship. In canon, Aegnor was of the same opinion because of the war and so refused to marry Andreth, despite the fact that he loved her. Do you think that this type of opinion was more popular amongst the Noldor vs the Sindar and other non-Noldor elves? What is your opinion of Aegnor and Andreth? I always thought that it was sorta unfair that the one canon male-elf and female-human pairing in canon didn’t get their (sorta) happy ending of being together. Even though Aegnor was always likely to die in the first age anyways. I wonder if Aegnor was motivated by the fear of having mortal children in a land with an undefeated Morgoth.
Thanks for the ask, anon! Always love asks, and love procrastinating. Fair warning, I didn't actually reread the Athrabeth before answering; it's been a few months since I read it.
Link to the fic for the curious: it involves bb Celebrimbor eavesdropping on Maedhros, Curufin, and Mrs Curufin talking about his existence.
Do you think that this type of opinion was more popular amongst the Noldor vs the Sindar and other non-Noldor elves?
I think it was more common among the Exilic Noldor who had come from Aman, but both Aegnor and the Maedhros in the fic have an opinion about it that is unusual even in that group. We know there were lots of elves born in First Age Beleriand, many from Noldo/Sinda unions, and there wasn't an active war at the time either.
The time between the Aglareb and the Bragollach was mostly peaceful. It was a watchful peace, a frozen conflict, with the occasional skirmish, but a peace nonetheless. It's not 400 years of constant battles, and when Fingolfin proposes restarting active conflict and attacking Angband, and only Aegnor and Angrod are in favor; the sons of Feanor are the loudest in opposition. And: Thus the designs of Fingolfin came to naught, and the land had peace yet for a while.
Finrod in the Athrabeth does saythat "This is time of war, Andreth, and in such days the Elves do not wed or bear child", but his statement contradicts what we see in canon: there are weddings and children born during the Watchful Peace, the time that the Athrabeth takes place. But Finrod is explaining Aegnor's reasoning to Andreth and trying to bring her closure.
I think if I were writing the story now... I don't know how I would? In that I think my conception of Maedhros has changed and I'm not sure if he'd feel as strongly about not having children in Beleriand as he does there. (The Noldor did not yet comprehend the fullness of the power of Morgoth, nor understand that their unaided war upon him was without final hope, whether they hasted or delayed. But because the land was fair and their kingdoms wide, most of the Noldor were content with things as they were, trusting them to last)
I wonder if Aegnor was motivated by the fear of having mortal children in a land with an undefeated Morgoth.
Oh hmm, fear of mortal children in particular? I'm not sure, anon; interesting question! I do think that mortality is the default of half-elves (it's specifically Earendil, Elwing and their line that has the choice, and if Aegnor and Andreth had had children, they would have been mortal - certainly it was before the Valar considered the question).
I do think kids would have been a fear of Aegnor's. Or at least it would be reasonable to think it was a fear of his: we know "[Angrod and Aegnor] dwelt in regions whence Thangorodrim could be descried, and the threat of Morgoth was present to their thought."
I always thought that it was sorta unfair that the one canon male-elf and female-human pairing in canon didn’t get their (sorta) happy ending of being together.
It is unfair! Someone smarter than me - I don't remember where I saw it so unfortunately can't credit - pointed out how Aegnor and Andreth are both very entwined in their own culture and people, unlike the Big Three elf/human romances, where the human half of the pairing is separated from humanity (Aragorn the least so, but he was raised in an elven settlement). Whereas Andreth is not that, holding not just a culturally important role but being a keeper of her people's knowledge and history (she shows up a couple other places in the Legendarium disconnected from Aegnor, including as the author of a prophecy). Aegnor likewise does not detach himself from his people.
I wonder about Andreth's death. She would have been in her 90s at the Bragollach, so if she were still alive, she would have almost certainly died in it.
One interesting thing: iirc we don't actually know what Finrod advocated for with Aegnor. When he talks to Andreth about Aegnor's motivations, he's talking for his brother, not for what he felt himself. I'd be curious to see something that posited that Finrod thought Aegnor should pursue a relationship.
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tetrakys · 2 years
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MCL Alternate Life review
Now that the three 4-episodes routes have been fully released, I’m ready to spend some final words on AL in general and the three boys specifically.
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Plot
The plot is quite simple: AL was created to mostly address the break up, it is the canonical ending to Lysander, Kentin and Armin’s routes (while UL and LL are the canon continuation of Cas’ and Nath’s routes). The general plot is meeting your old boyfriend again, reconnect, solidify the relationship and resolve the long-distance issue. Quite simple, it’s the con of having only 4 episodes, but it does its job well, for years we asked for something that would fix the break up and we got it. Also I liked that the main structure was the same for all three boys, it provides a sense of continuity and a main theme for the season.
System
Same as the other seasons, 2AP x line of dialogue, however there is one main difference. Episodes 2 and 3 have choices which lead to different illustrations and scenes, meaning that they should be replayed twice if all illus with the crush want to be obtained. I personally quite like this system because the episodes are short and cheap, rarely over 1000 AP and this gives me a reason to play twice and extend my gaming experience. Plus replaying doesn’t bore me since the scenes are different as well so it’s almost like having two episodes in one.
The Art
I’m generally always happy about the quality of MCL’s illustrations, and I think AL keeps up with the high standard. As a con, I’d say that the poses might be a bit repetitive, hugging and kissing tend to be quite similar among the three routes, but other than that I’m happy. Backgrounds and sprites are also very good imo, but I’ll get to that soon.
Now, a closer look at the three:
Lysander
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My Victorian prince was perfect as a teen and remained perfect in adulthood. Personally I think he looks even more beautiful, if possible, and his personality didn’t change at all, only slightly more mature due to being an adult with adult responsibilities. If on one hand this means that we got exactly what we lost 4 years ago, it also means that he’s the crush that remained the most static, didn’t have a real evolution like all the others did. Like a fae prince who remained frozen in time. It might make his journey a bit less interesting that’s true, but on the other hand can you improve perfection? I don’t think so.
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In fact he’s the only crush we didn’t break up with. At first I was a bit surprised “for sure it must be Kentin the one we don’t break up with, right?” but afterward it made so much sense. His AL is one of rediscovery of someone who we never really lost, and despite me not liking farm life it makes perfect sense for him and Candy to have ended up there. His story is soothing, and calm, just like him. Finding him again is like feeling you finally found your place and your home.
Kentin
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Kentin grew up a lot since high school. Not only physically as he got taller and bulkier (and hotter) but also mentally. When we meet him again we find someone who has completed a personal journey, a new person who knows his worth and who they are. These years spent travelling the world alone made him grew up and now he’s able to love Candy in a healthy way because he can also love himself. 
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His AL is one of getting to know the new mature person he’s become but also finding out that what really matters, his feelings and good heart, are always the same. Its route is full fluff with 5 minutes of drama which only serve to learn how different being with him is going to be now but also how his love didn’t change. His story is about personal growth and the work you have to put on yourself before being able to be in a relationship. 
Armin
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Armin is still the same jokester as before, but he’s not a boy anymore, it’s clear that the break up made him grow up as well. His new looks are similar to what he used to wear before (without Alexy’s terrible involvement), I’m not a big fan of the yellow but it compensate with the haircut which imo makes so much more sense than that octopus-looking one he had before. I also love that he kept a smirking teasing expression which is so him. 
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His route, while remains similar to the other two in its basic structure, is completely different in the sense that while he did grow up and became more mature, his story isn’t as much as getting to know him while getting to know who Candy and him are together and if they can build something solid and long-lasting. With Lys and Kentin we get a finished product, with Armin we get a work in progress, that makes his route more eventful and dynamic. We start with a fight in episode 1, get a whole journey and end with a final declaration which address all the issues and uncertainties. We see both Candy and Armin grow during the story. 
Personal considerations
I think all 3 routes are really well done so preference becomes a matter of personal taste. On my side, Armin’s is above the other two for the simple fact that I enjoy the drama and the enemies-to-lovers vibe. I also love Candy in this route, and the teasing relationship the both have. I loved following their journey, for me this route is pretty much perfect and I can only hope Beemoov keeps up this amazing writing. 
The other two routes are also really great. Kentin’s route is perfect for people who like fluff above all and just want to live a sweet love story. Lys’ is for people who want to play something soothing and with a more fairy tail vibe. 
I’m happy we finally got a happy ending with the three of them and these endings make so much sense: with Lys we could only join him in his farm life, not my thing as I said, but I never saw Lys as someone who could enjoy the rockstar lifestyle, his choices don’t have to work for me, they have to work for him and I’m happy they do. With Kentin it wouldn’t have felt right if he gave up his lifestyle and stayed in town for us, it would’ve been a complete step back from his personal journey to see him give up everything and chase Candy once again, so I’m happy it’s Candy the one joining him this time. And with Armin, with all the times Candy was the one to follow him in his passions and hobbies (plus the whole long-distance and Disney debacle) it had to end with him staying, and I’m so glad it did.
So now that we got our happy endings, what’s left?
I guess we’ll see 😏
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biganimal92 · 2 months
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people on twitter are mad over fanart of cloud raping tifa
i have been trying to come up with a response for this since you sent it and i think i'm stuck on trying to figure out your intentions on asking me this, like i genuinely, in an autistic way, don't understand what sort of response you're expecting. also i don't know how likely i am to continue to receive asks talking about this stuff so if anyone needs me to use a tag for this please let me know and i can correct that
like i had this really long reply basically saying "well i think this sort of thing happens because the last main website that 90% of the internet uses that explicitly allows porn has absolutely no division between any of its communities because the nsfw community on twitter isn't on a dedicated platform that just caters to the nsfw community so you're going to get people who are emotionally underdeveloped who are being exposed to art they either aren't interested in or aren't equipped to handle and it ends up creating a lot of really reactionary takes where, in an attempt to try to curate their own online space, they aim to eradicate those that threaten their peace because a lot of these people are younger and they didn't have a lot of time to be able to learn how to navigate the social landscape of the internet and the fault lies on twitter for fostering and encouraging an ecosystem like this anyway" because i think it's important to try to understand the causes of this sort of thing and to understand that this phenomenon is often the result of those who think they're powerless trying to control their experiences when really what they need to do is learn how effective the block button is if they're going to engage with these systems in a healthy and enjoyable way
but i started the post by saying "well i mean i also wouldn't want to see that because cloud simply would not do that and it means i'm being exposed to cloti against my will" and then at some point i tried to quote the one scooby doo ytp with the caveman frozen in ice. and also i went on for a bit saying that cloti is literally only good if it appeals to my very specific kinks and sensibilities so i don't know if any way i could answer this would be satisfactory since i'm still unclear why i'm being asked about this. mainly because i don't use twitter and i don't like cloti LOL
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juniperhillpatient · 2 years
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Lake Laogai
It's not even remotely a secret that I'm incapable of being unbiased or objective about this episode. I love Jet, & I think killing him off was a huge mistake & a waste. I wrote a post explaining in more detail why I specifically think that Jet's death was a writing mistake HERE.
This re-watch has been interesting because it's really nice to re-watch a fave show & re-evaluate my opinions after spending a lot of time engaging with the fandom. I don't know, maybe it's just my annoyance with the fandom's pushing for a Katara/Aang/Zuko love triangle but this re-watch has made me take a firm stance that Jet should've lived, & become part of the Gaang, & dated Katara. "But Rose, don't you prefer Katara with girls?" I mean yeah, I like to write that more, but I'm talking about what I think should've happened in the actual show, which is entirely separate.
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[ID: two pictures from different angles of Katara & Jet in the streets of Ba Sing Se]
Katara & Jet have the whole contentious complicated past & I'm always gonna be a sucker for the dynamic where the girl is violently angry & the guy is just like "I'm so sorry I've changed please accept me" like, I'm just being honest that's a good dynamic. Jet's already pretty strong redemption arc could've been concreted & we could've had a new, needed perspective in the Gaang from someone who was a victim of colonization in a similar way to Katara & Sokka but with a very different experience & reaction.
I will try not to spend this whole post being salty though, that's why I made a separate post. The brainwashing under Lake Laogai is very creepy, & it is one of the aspects of the show that stuck with me the most upon first viewing & for good reason. All the Joo Dees speaking in unison is genuinely terrifying. Long Feng is also a well-written villain. He's sly, manipulative, & just creeps me out.
The other thing that I wanted to ponder on with this episode is Zuko saving Appa, & Zuko & Iroh's discussion. I want to make it clear that I think Zuko's redemption arc is incredibly well-written overall. I only criticize Avatar because I love it so much & have thought about it so much. There are a lot of popular Avatar hot takes on Tumblr about how Zuko's redemption arc is poorly written, nonexistent, or whatever, & I simply strongly disagree. I have to get that out of the way & be clear about it or I'll worry I'm being misinterpreted. I also like Iroh, although I feel like I don't always understand what's going on with him & this episode is an example. That's another thing I wanted to clarify because I don't want to come across as anti-Iroh. I don't know, maybe I worry too much about how I come across lol but anyway -
Iroh: And then what!? You never think these things through! [Points at him.] This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole! You had him, and then you had nowhere to go!
Zuko: I would have figured something out!
Iroh: No! If his friends hadn't found you, you would have frozen to death! Zuko I know my own destiny, Uncle! Iroh Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you? Zuko Stop it, Uncle! I have to do this!
This scene specifically & the entire framing of Zuko's unhappiness about the teashop is very interesting. I have said before that I dislike Zuko as Firelord in the end, but that's not necessarily a firm stance...I guess I just dislike the inconsistency with how it was built up. Others who are willing to be much harsher than I am have often pointed out that Zuko went from following his father's orders & vision to following Iroh's vision of his destiny, & I think there's some truth to that. But what bothers me more than that, is that we don't actually get firm foreshadowing on what Iroh's vision for Zuko's destiny even is.
This is the first time we see Iroh really yell at Zuko & go off on him but it's unclear what he wants from Zuko. I mean, okay, he wants Zuko to be happy serving tea. I guess that's fine, but it doesn't quite work knowing that later, Iroh completely does a 180 on this stance & it's sorta like...What happened? Ya know? It's just inconsistent. And characters can be inconsistent, people change their minds, but we're not really given much information about Iroh's internal struggle concerning what he wants from his nephew so it just comes across as confusing to me.
Zuko's character arc is all about discovering what it is that he wants & acting on it. I've said before that my issue with Zuko's ending on the show is that Zuko always wanted to be Firelord & then he....becomes Firelord. That's not really a change? This scene between Zuko & Iroh feels like it was building to something larger with Zuko's arc, but it really....isn't.
That said, I do love Appa's return! Aang & Appa's reunion & Appa getting to be a badass is just amazing.
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[ID: two pictures of Aang & Appa hugging, one from up close & one from a bit of a distance.]
I definitely enjoyed Appa's reunion with the Gaang the most out of all the parts of this episode.
Well, I enjoyed Jet's parts up until his death too. I also wanted to point out that Sokka teases Katara about her thing with Jet, but doesn't seem that angry at Jet himself & is quite willing to give him another chance. And it's Aang who breaks Jet out of his brainwashing by reminding him that they are friends. So, Katara is not the only one in the Gaang with any connection with Jet. Again, they should've addressed --- ah, whatever, I'm done.
That's all I have for this episode.
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raspberry-pudding · 3 months
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3/8/24
It's another one of those days where I tell myself I'm not going to smoke, but I have no idea how well I'll succeed. I made a short post last night, just vague posting and getting a few thoughts off my chest. But nothing deep.
I feel stupid for posting about my addiction, but at the same time it's the only way I know how to possibly find people like me. Who can become very addicted to weed. I don't have any friends to go to about it because they all smoke and are fine -- or at least, they convince me they aren't addicted and that it's impossible on weed. But what else would you call something that you crave so intensely you're scrapping the bottom of a bag or grinder to get one hit? What else would you call something that you can't control yourself from taking as soon as you wake up? What else would you call something that's meant to make you feel good, but after doing it every day, all day, for several years you get stuck in a cycle of giving in, swearing to go sober/quitting, and then turn around and continue doing it? Every. Single. Day. For the past two years I have sworn to finally quit smoking weed but I just can't get away from it. My body feels like it needs it and I'm miserable.
It doesn't even get me high anymore.
More below the cut for those interested, and so I'm not clogging timelines with a long post. My content isn't for everyone. Please scroll by if you think weed isn't addictive and if you argue with me you'll just get blocked. That's not what I need when I'm just trying to recover.
I miss the person I was before I started smoking. I was so productive and successful; I wrote and exercised everyday. My emotions were better regulated. I felt like I could do anything.
I started smoking a lot later than most people -- 24. And as much as I would like to blame my ex for the addiction, I'm more to blame for my own addiction than anyone else. It started when I was writing an essay on Emily Dickinson and the soul, and weed helped me a lot with writing this piece. At least, for awhile. Soon after, I was getting high every evening to work on the essay, but I'd get distracted and ignore my work. It just sort of spiraled after that.
There are a lot of good reasons why I want to quit. First of all, I want to be a better woman. I want to be the strong woman I used to me -- not this weepy bag who can't even stand the thought of driving myself anymore. Where did all my strength go? Where did all my independence and will go? I wanna be a better woman not only for myself, but for my fiancé. He's very supportive of me, and says that we all have our vices -- doesn't care if I continue smoking or if I quit and will support me no matter which I do. But I need to stop smoking for him, too. He deserves sober-me. He's not only the best man, but the best person I have ever met in my entire life. He deserves the sober-me much more than my ex deserved it, but he's hardly gotten to experience it. He deserves a woman who can do anything and be level-headed. Not the emotional wreck I am on weed.
I'm also already a naturally paranoid person. I don't know how to explain it other than ever since I was a kid I've been prone to extreme paranoia. I've always seen terrifying images in my head and I get concerned that they'll actually happen before my eyes, no matter how off the wall it is. Let me clarify, I never hallucinate (not even on shrooms or acid have I hallucinated), I just have an overactive imagination. Weed, obviously, intensifies this feeling. Sometimes the paranoia is crippling; I'm frozen in fear whether it's in bed or at my desk or in the living room. It can become overwhelming.
Third, I want to go back to school. It's nearing the 3 year mark since I've gotten my Master's degree and I haven't gotten any jobs with it. Granted, it's difficult to do something with my degree in my area and I'm a bitch about having to move. But I'm in a dead-end part time job now that's pushed me into wanting something more. Specifically, wanting what my original plan in life was -- get a PhD and become a professor. Focus my career on academia. It's what I'm good at, and it's what I enjoy doing. I've missed the college space so much. I've missed the research that goes into essays and the excitement I used to get while writing. If I go back for my PhD, I can't continue to be on this fucking drug. I can't do the work I need to while being constantly stoned. How do I know? Because I could barely balance the work-weed balance as I was finishing up my MA. Weed stifled my academic work so much to the point that I almost didn't graduate; if I go for a PhD I have to be sober. There's literally no other option. I have to take it seriously. I cannot do the work I need to while getting stoned every day.
I feel miserable and cranky every day, and the good mood I get from smoking only lasts for so long and then I become grumpy again. Yesterday my grumpy attitude ruined a nice evening out with my fiancé -- he says it didn't, but I feel horrible about the ordeal.
I'm ready to quit. I've been ready to quit for about a year now with no success. I think the furthest I've gotten in the past year is 2 days without weed. Since I started smoking, the further I've gone without is a whole month -- I really don't know (or remember) how I did it. I don't know how to start, or how to keep cravings away. I'm just so frustrated, I want my ambition back. I want my drive and energy back. I want to be even better than I was before. But I can't with this drug holding me down and making me completely numb and lazy.
Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. I really don't know what to do when the cravings start to hit within another hour or so. I guess the good thing is that I'm all out of weed right now, and while I could go get more it would involve going to the bank to get out cash. Hoping that prevents me from giving in today.
Maybe I'll just write on here when the cravings hit. Just write about how I'm feeling until it goes away. I really don't know. I'm just going insane with this kind of lifestyle and I can't do this anymore. I have to become sober again. The good thing is, leading up to this point, I have decreased how much I've smoked. I went from 3 joints a day to 1 joint a day recently. Quitting cold turkey scares me, but I guess I'm about to attempt it, because I really don't wanna drop $100 on something I wanna quit doing.
Again, let me know anything that's helped any of you quit if you're out there and reading. I would greatly appreciate the advice.
Iris🪻
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ultfreakme · 1 year
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Hi Riki!
I really like your blog!
I want to learn more about Jay Nakamura he seems like such a cool dude. :)
Hi Kit!!! Thank you so much 🥰🥰.
I fear you've unleashed my non-ATLA/LOK obsession, and it is this little guy asdfvhj
So Jay Nakamura, aka 'Gossamer', is a DC character who's a hero and investigative journalist. He's dating Jon Kent, the son of Lois Lane & Superman (Jon's also working as Superman right now and shares the superhero name).
He's the son of the former president of his country, Gamorra(fictional place implied to be inspired by E.Asian cultures).
His first appearance is in the comic 'Superman: Son of Kal-El Issue 2'.
Jay works with this anarchist rebel group known as 'The Revolutionaries' & just helped save his own country from a dictator alongside Jon. He also runs his own underground news stream called 'The Truth'.
When he was young, he was kidnapped by this dictator & experimented on for half a year, which gave him the ability to phase through literally everything.
He's like, super sarcastic and hella emotionally closed off and keeps using dumb jokes to hide his feelings but he has so much love and affection for Jon and everyone. His fashion sense is truly atrocious, the man cannot dress to save his life.
His biggest idol is Lois Lane and completely frozen when he saw her & legit ran away to hide by a barn because she's an extremely good journalist. But then he started roasting Jon on first meeting about his hair knowing he was Superman(which...somehow made Jon instantly fall for him lol).
Also, Batman did not trust Jay and kinda left him to the wolves one time, which made Jon almost destroy Batman.
It was a valid concern btw, Jay's friends are wanted criminals, have killed people(HUGE no-no for Superman & Batman)& also one of his friends stole Batman’s car.
Anyways when Jon & Jay were fighting the dictator, shit happens and Jay's identity which was a secret until now, becomes public and everyone knows this kinda hot-topic journalist is dating Superman.
This kinda fucked him over because Jay was able to do a lot of the difficult stories of his journalism stories BECAUSE no one knew who he was, so right now he's in this extremely awkward position where his boyfriend is very specifically "Superman", meaning he can't be seen in public with 'Jon Kent the Civilian' and has the paparazzi and regular people hounding him.
He has the vibes of a villain, but he's just genuinely a good person who only wants to help & protect his loved ones. He often pushes aside his own discomfort in layers of jokes abd sass to protect his emotions. Like he somehow travelled from a whole other country, and ran right into the Hall of Justice(the central gathering place for every major hero) to check on Jon when he got hurt.
If you want to read about him, he's a very new character with mostly linear story rn so here's a list of his appearances:
Superman: Son of Kal-El (#2- #17)
DC Pride 2022
Action Comics #1050
Adventures of Superman: Jon Kent(#1, #2)- this is an ongoing series so he may have more appearances.
I think I covered everything but idk if I did him justice😅 he's really fun to learn about through the comics. Hope this was what you were looking for?
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