#i looked in like. four languages if you wanna brag.

[goodoldfashionlovercorpse]

Casual (pt. 2)

pairing: Sirius Black x slytherin! potter! reader

summary: Y/n Potter has been in love with Sirius for as long as she's known him. During their 6th year at Hogwarts, they start hooking up. Sirius declares it casual, but are they both truly ok with this secret?

a/n: this is part two of my Sirius series! hope you enjoy. @hisparentsgallerryy and @planets-and-stars thanks for the support !!

warnings: angst, secret fwb situationship, jealousy, explicit language

Classes went on as normal: a few people passed while others clung for dear life. Unfortunately, Y/n shared a class with him, the one she fell for. She couldn’t pinpoint why she was glaring at him, maybe it was what Lucius had told her. All Sirius did was pretend she didn’t exist until the night. Somehow, he pays more attention to class when she’s in the room. James had sat next to her. She always felt guilty for hooking up with his best friend, he was such a good brother. Even when she was sorted, he bragged about his sister proudly, flaunting the fact she was the brains to his brawns. Sirius got paired with Snape, who was sending her glances that screamed “Help!” every time Sirius said something dumb. Gods, why did she stare at his lips? She always sent Snape a sorrowful expression, reassuring it’s just a partnership for the week. Potions had to be Snape’s and Sirius’s best class, so she didn’t worry that much.

“Ok, so, this week we’ll be brewing Amortentia. It’s powerful, so no one is allowed to drink any of it. Got that?” Slughorn asked, receiving hums from every student, “Right, now turn to page 201 and get started, you have all your ingredients set up. Have fun and remember, the first 3 groups to finish receive 5 house points each!”

As soon as Slughorn finished, James turned to the page. “Alright, I’ll dictate, you add. This should be finished by today, then ready by tomorrow.”

Y/n added the rose thorns, the pearl dust, and all the other ingredients, slowly stirring them. The twins looked at each other with puzzling gazes. “How is this gonna take people a week?”

“Maybe he wants it perfect?”

“Maybe.”

As the pair finished, Slughorn came behind them 20 minutes later. He congratulated the two and encouraged them to sniff. “What do you smell?”

James chimed up first, “Books, tea, that sweet scent of spring.” Ever the romantic, he described. From scents to scenarios, he gushed for 10 minutes as Lily stared at him, smiling. He played with his hands and then blushed once he was done. Turning to his sister, “And you, sis?”

Y/n went near and sniffed. She knew what she smelled, she knew who she smelled. But if Slytherins are taught one thing, it’s acting. “Some leather, a bit of peanut butter, and… dog?” She tried not to scrunch her nose, trying hard to come up with something, anything, to find someone else to match. Sirius was staring at her, his gaze locked on hers. “Maybe it’s Paul McCartney?” the crowd laughed. She stared at Sirius, no smile present on either faces.

Soon three more groups described their scents, the last one being Snape and Sirius. Snape described a simple smell, but she knew he smelled nothing, love just wasn’t his thing. Sirius, on the other hand, tried to finish it quickly. His hands were on his neck, resting on thin air as he bragged bout perfume and chocolate. The very things she liked. “I guess there’s the scent of a night out, doing makeup and dress-ups or whatnot,” he added, the corner of his eye directed at her. James was puzzled, staring Sirius down with pressed brows. She continued looking at Sirius’s table, seeing how Snape tried hiding under the table as girls came flocking towards their table. 

“That’s so romantic!”

“I need to buy more perfume…”

“Hey, Sirius, wanna go out?”

Before you knew it, they were being whisked off by Prof. Slughorn to go to their desks. As class ended, only four out of ten groups had finished, much to her surprise. She started packing up, getting ready for her next class. Snape came up to her as James went over to Sirius. “Can’t believe I got paired with him.”

She shrugged, “You’re both top students, it can’t have been that bad.”

“It is when you’re stared at by everyone  to smell something that’s not there.”

“Hey, everyone believed you.” she pats his back and smiles, gaining a half smile from Snape. The two went out of class, having no clue of Sirius staring at them, a layer of jealousy coated in his gaze. One that didn't go unnoticed by James. The Potter shoved his friend, mumbling something about ‘brotherly duties’. Perhaps tonight will be the night… then again, it was always casual.

Y/n and Snape went along with their classes, being joined by their other friends, but mainly just Lucius. Lucius was quite excited about the Ravenclaw party, and Snape planned on studying. Both gave her a glance, though. A sort of questioning look. “He’ll be there,” Lucius said.

She shrugged, looking down. It wouldn’t have made a difference, she would seen him tonight regardless of whether she attended, that’s how they worked. “I’ll probably go to help James and Lily.” she earned a shrug from Lucius, the other male yapping about homework and studies.

“We should start preparing for our test next week, though.”

“Relax, Sev, that’s days ahead.”

At least friendships weren’t casual, Y/n thought, laughing along with Lucius and hugging Snape. They departed at the common rooms, her having to go up. She smiled, maybe tonight will be about her.

[bearieio]

hi spencer lets talk about keegan! 🥰

ummmmm !!! i don’t really think i have much to say about keegan !!!!!!! hmm……. (＾＾＃)

except for the unfortunate fact that i think of him as being a total heartbreaker :(

I DONT KNOW WHY DONT ASK!-

another thing is when the two of you first started going out, and he tried to act like the nonchalant, quiet, and mysterious guy, but failed on like the third date because you mentioned your love for video games. 

now that the two of you are moved in together, he WILL torture you with that voice and those eyes of his.

he’ll sneak up on you and startle you with his deep-toned and booming voice, making sure to get his lips as close to your ear as he physically can. 

he’ll also just stare at you until you notice that he’s staring at you. genuinely scaring you, and giving no context as to why he was staring at you. AND LIKE IT’S INTENTIONAL SO-

toxic loser gamer bf. idk. probably plays overwatch and league/valorant and gets mad and screams into that poor mic of his..

“where’s our GODDAMN lucio?!- w-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING REIN-“

definitely makes random dad noises…

speaking of dad noises, he has one of those la-z-y boy recliners that has a built in cup holder, back massager, and led lights or some shit

i think he gives off a sort of “older brothers best friend” typa vibe… which ALSO means that he’s definitely a bully and teases the absolute hell out of you.

one day he’ll go to town on some show you seem to enjoy. “isn’t this show for kids?”, “ babe why the fuck does the main character look like that?”, “you’ve seriously watched 3 seasons of this bullshit?-“

and then like the very next day he’ll be like “baby, why aren’t you watching that show you like so much?

MOTHERFUCKER YOU-

also correct me if i’m wrong but isn’t keegan’s love language acts of service? whether it’s big or small, he’ll always want to do something for you!

tying your shoes

opening doors/pulling out chairs

helping you out with the laundry

putting gas in your car

making you a cup of coffee/tea/anything in the morning

helping you out with dinner

taking the time to ask you how you are, if there’s anything you wanna talk about. 

how he loves watching your eyes light up and widen and how your lips will contort into that “stupid little smile of yours” (his words, not mine!), and how you get all excited and your muscles don’t look so tense anymore.

he’s mean but he cares :(

keegan is that person we all know whose literally an endless pit. eating anything and everything in sight (he’s just like me fr).

he will eat tomates whole

and more than likely brags about his “human vacuum” ability to everyone he meets. 

is most likely the person who asks if you’re gonna finish something on your plate you haven’t even touched yet.

speaking of eating everything in sight, when he’s the one making dinner, he’ll serve you 2-3x the amount you usually eat. but he just wants to make sure that you’re okay and eating! (eat your food, people!)

keegan’s just a really crazy silly wacky guy!

he sends you and the guys memes that only he understands.

and he MAKES the memes that only he understands.

the one time you guys can even look his memes without trying to decipher the four color theorem first, they usually look something like this: 

circling back to when i mentioned that he bullies and teases you every chance he gets- he teases you ALL the time, in private AND in public!!!

“babe- it was literally just like that time when you shot milk outta your nose and then you tripped and fell over-” he shouts, in front of the rest of the ghosts

“guys this one time my girl and i were walking somewhere downtown- and- and we saw a lizard scurrying along the ground- and she LITERALLY almost crapped herself-“ 

this guy will almost always automatically bust into a full song & dance routine whenever he hears taylor swift on the radio. 

does he necessarily like taylor? fuucckk no! but IS going to be bussin it down to ‘love song?" fuccckkkk yea!

‘party in the USA?’ you’re curled up on the bed, reading a book, when you’re suddenly transported into a stadium with 50,000 people screaming and the voice of miley cyrus is engulfing your ear canals. minus the fact that you’re not in a stadium, and 50,000 aren’t screaming and jumping around you. it’s keegan and his portable speaker blaring the obnoxiously loud music, while doing backflips n shit on your guys’ shared bed, messing up the sheets and prompting the dogs to come running in right after him.

he’s insane. i love him.

[mamisfavmosher]

JD SMUT CELEBRATING DOMS NA TITLE

thank you for the request!

Anything for the New Champion // reader x poly! judgment day (*)

SMUT - MINORS DNI

warnings: smut, language, double penetration, anal, probably more

Readers POV

Boos filled the arena as Dominik was handed his new North American Championship. Rhea, Finn, Damien, and I rushed into the ring to surround Dom in a group hug, excitedly jumping around and hyping him up. We made our way backstage after showing off to the fans and bragging about Dom's victory, quickly rushing into our dressing room.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, showering his face with little kisses while Rhea hugged his waist, peppering kisses on his neck and shoulders. Damien took the time to ruffle Dom's hair real quick before planting a kiss on top of his head.

"All right, champ, let's take this to the hotel room." Finn said with a chuckle, grabbing his keys and ushering the bundle of us out of the dressing room.

The car ride back to the hotel room was filled with giggles, proud smiles, warm touches, and lots of kisses. Dom was sat in the middle seat of the back row, Rhea and I on either side of him taking turns showing him our affection. When we made it back to the hotel, we hurried up to the room. Unlocking the door and walking in, Finn immediately moved Dom over to the bed and pushed him to lay down on it. Rhea laid down next to Dom so that she could easily access his neck, quickly getting to work on making her marks.

"Mami..." He craned his neck to look at Rhea and gave her a smile. "Easy." His attempt at slowing her actions only made her attack on his neck harder with her teeth, biting and bruising the skin.

"Sorry, Dom Dom. We're just so proud of you," She smirked. "Gotta make sure everyone knows you're our champion." Rhea leaned up to kiss him deeply on the lips.

"She's right, Dom. You made us very proud tonight." Damien smiled at him. "So, tonight you get whatever you want."

"Yeah, anything for the new champion." I said and sweetly kissed his cheek.

"You guys mean it? Anything I want?" Dom asked with raised eyebrows and a huge grin.

"Anything at all, buddy." Finn answered as we all chuckled and laughed at Dom's surprise.

"So, what's the plan, champion? What do you want us to do?" I asked, combing my fingers through his soft mullet and slowly kissing the other side of his neck that Rhea wasn't occupying. He took a second to think about the offer and his face instantly lit up.

"Well, there is something I've been wanting to try..." He gently pulled away from Rhea and I and shifted so that he was sitting on his knees between us. "But only if you two are okay with it. Just tell me no if you don't like the idea." He gave us a serious look and we nodded. "I really wanna try double penetrating you both. Like taking turns, maybe?" Dom looked at us for approval and we both smirked at him.

"Sounds good to me. Mami?" I said, turning to look at her. She sighed, rolling her eyes at the thought of anal. Regardless of the fact that she had done anal plenty of times and had enjoyed herself, it still wasn't her favorite way to go about fucking. She always preferred to be the one in charge.

"Fine. But only if I get a turn putting my strap in her, too!" Rhea responded. Dom happily agreed and eagerly got undressed, the rest of us following suit.

Damien and Finn laid down on the bed, stroking themselves as they waited for Rhea and I. Mami kissed Dom on the lips before leading the way and situating herself onto Damien's cock. I followed behind, slowly sinking onto Finn's cock. The four of us were a bundle of moans and whimpers waiting on Dom as he stroked himself in his hand, taking in the scene before him.

"Hurry up, Dom Dom!" Rhea said while pushing her hips back to make a point.

"Alright, alright." He chuckled before thrusting into Mami, both of them letting out loud moans. I whimpered at the sight and attempted to rock my hips against Finn, practically begging him to move.

"Not yet, love. Gotta wait for the champion." Finn smirked, but slyly snuck a finger down to rub at my clit. I sat on Finn's dick for what felt like forever until Dom finally pulled out of Rhea and scooted over to Finn and I. I felt him position himself behind me, quickly thrusting in. Finn started rocking his hips up into me at the same time and I couldn't help the sounds escaping my throat. The pleasure was intense as both cocks thrusted in and out at different speeds.

Rhea moved off of Damien after they both orgasmed and started attaching her strap-on to her hips. Dom was on the verge of finishing when Rhea told him to wait. I whined as he pulled out of me, but quickly got excited again when Rhea positioned me on top of her, rubbing the tip of the toy through my folds.

"Ready, Dom Dom? We're gonna fill her up at the same time." She smiled sweetly at the two of us. Not long after, I felt Dom behind me again and both cocks pushed into me, stretching my holes. It didn't take long for Dom's hips to stutter, filling me with his release as Rhea still rutted her hips into me. "Close, baby?" She asked and I nodded my head, moaning her praise. Dom reached around me and toyed at my clit, my orgasm approaching quickly after. The two carefully pulled out of me and chuckled as I flopped onto the bed.

"Well, champ? How was it?" Finn asked Dominik who had a big grin on his face.

"I should become a champion more often." He smirked and the rest of us laughed, Damien ruffling his hair. The rest of the night was spent cuddling in bed and admiring Dom, who was modeling his new champion belt for us.

Sorry this took so long!

[satansapostle6]

X

Josh Futturman has always had a crush on his beautiful coworker, the sharp, sexy scientist he thought he could only dream of talking to.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Sexual content.

Part Three

Part Four: HR Violations

Never in a million years did Josh Futturman imagine that he’d have someone to flirt and exchange witty banter with at work, let alone that it would be Dr. Johansson. He knew he wasn’t delusional, because even Ray was starting to pick up on it.

It all started in one of the break rooms, when Josh was asked to unclog a toilet in the bathroom nearby. Ray had been minding his business and heating up his lunch in the microwave, when Josh came into the room to wash up after finishing the job. Coincidentally, Brynne Johansson also entered the room, in need of a cup of coffee, as well as to just shamelessly mess with Josh.

It was becoming a fun little game for her, saying and doing all the right things to get Josh all hot and bothered at work. Ray gave Brynne a polite smile as she entered the room, eating his ramen in peace.

“Dr. Johansson,” he greeted her.

She just smiled back as she walked toward the coffee machine, intentionally taking a while to examine it before making her move.

“Josh, do you think you could take a look at this for me?” she asked. “I can’t seem to get it to work.”

This was obviously a lie. Ray shot his friend a curious look.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Josh obliged, glancing nervously at Ray.

He stood beside Brynne, half pretending to take a look at the coffee machine, half genuinely wondering if there was something wrong.

“It doesn’t seem to be heating up,” she said as she fiddled aimlessly with the filter.

“Oh, I see what you’re saying,” Josh lied. playing along as best as he could.

“Yeah… Do you know how to fix it?”

“I think so… I think if you just… flip this, it’ll start heating up again,” he improvised completely. “There. Try it again?”

Brynne turned on the coffee machine like normal, brewing a fresh pot.

“Oh, great, it’s working again,” she bullshitted. “Thanks, Josh, you know I like it hot.”

Josh nearly choked on pure oxygen as she gave him a casual workplace smile, as if nothing had happened, walking out of the break room with a hot cup of coffee as her heels tapped against the floor. Josh’s eyes widened as he turned to Ray, who was equally in shock. He couldn’t deny, Brynne was the first person to ever make him feel like he had something to brag about.

“What the hell?!” he demanded.

“Right?!” Josh exclaimed. “That’s what I’ve been trying to telling you!”

“Sorry, man, you really gotta see it to believe it,” Ray laughed.

“What do I do?!” Josh panicked. “She’s really hot, and I think she’s flirting with me—”

“Alright, now that I’ve actually seen it happen, it’s not a ‘think’ anymore, it’s a ‘know’,” Ray assured him.

“So, what do I do?” he asked hopelessly.

“I don’t know that there’s anything you can do,” Ray admitted, “Just… See if it goes anywhere, I guess.”

“Okay,” Josh breathed, trying to calm himself down, “Okay…”

“Man, that woman is wild.”

*****

“Hey, Elias,” Josh smiled on his way to the elevator as he saw Dr. Kronish walking through the hall.

“Good afternoon, Josh,” the man said pleasantly. “How are you today?”

“Living the dream,” Josh said humorously, fully aware that he was a janitor.

At least now he was able to go home. Upon entering his parents’ house, Josh found that his parents were both in the living room, enjoying their ‘quality time’ together.

“Joshy!” his mother exclaimed happily.

“Welcome home, buddy boo!” his father beamed.

Josh swallowed his embarrassment despite the three of them currently being alone, saying hello to them as he entered the house.

“How was work today?” his father asked him.

“Uh, pretty good,” Josh intentionally left out any specifics or details.

“What did you do today?” his mother inquired. “Come sit with us, I wanna hear all about it.”

Josh grimaced uncomfortably, not even sure what to say as he tentatively sat down with his parents, who has both been reading.

“Uh, the usual, just… cleaning up shits, and mopping floors,” he offered flatly.

Both of his parents chuckled as they listened to him.

“How’s Ray doing?” Gabe Futturman asked kindly.

“Uh, he’s good,” Josh responded, “Yeah, he’s pretty good…”

“Did you talk to anyone else today?” Diane Futturman asked.

Josh felt this was more of an interrogation than a conversation.

“Uh, I saw Dr. Kronish earlier. In the hall,” he said boringly.

“Oh, that’s nice,” his father remarked.

“Ooh, what about that Dr. Johansson you’ve always told us about?” his mother chimed in. “Talk to her at all?”

Josh could’ve sworn his entire face went pale.

“Uh… Yeah. Yeah, we talk sometimes, in passing…”

“Really?!” his mother gasped.

“You never told us you talked to her!” his father exclaimed.

Josh frowned, just then realizing how pathetic the entire conversation made him sound.

“Uh, yeah… Her name’s Brynne. We talk sometimes,” he thought, “Occasionally…”

“Oh, that’s so exciting!” Diane squealed. “You should ask her out! Oh, that would be perfect!”

“Mom, I’m… I’m not asking her out,” Josh frowned.

“But why not?” she questioned. “You know everything about her!”

“Yeah! You know everything she likes, and you know how to make her smile,” his father told him.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m not asking her out,” he pointed out.

“What do you mean, Joshy?” Gabe asked regretfully.

“I mean… She’s a scientist. The head of the research department,” he reminded himself. “Women like that don’t tend to go out with janitors.”

“But what if he’s a sweet, handsome, funny janitor like our Joshy?” she reasoned optimistically.

Josh just sighed, finding the topic more depressing than anything else.

*****

Although Josh got butterflies in his stomach like a teenage girl every time he saw Brynne at work, a part of him also felt sad and rejected every time he saw her, even if she hadn’t even done so yet. As much as he was in awe of how she flirted with him from time to time, he also knew that, more likely than not, he was probably just a source of entertainment for her.

There was no way Dr. Brynne Johansson, the tall, sexy powerhouse, wanted to go out with, or even hook up with, the janitor. There was just no way. His whole life, Josh always had to be realistic when it came to girls; if there was one thing he learned from middle school, it was that you never wanted to be the nerd who asked out the popular girl. And Brynne Johansson was definitely the popular girl at Kronish Labs.

Everyone looked at her like she was an angel walking amongst humans; male, female, gay, straight… It didn’t matter. There was something just unifying about her perfection. Josh was even ready to completely give up on the idea of actually having any sort of shot with Brynne outside of their usual banter, until one afternoon when they both happened to be alone in the elevator together.

Josh tried his best not to blush as she stood beside him, absentmindedly looking at her watch. She was wearing a stunning cream-colored dress that complimented her hair, and he couldn’t help but notice. He also noticed her perfume, which he could only describe as smelling like some sort of love spell.

“Hey, Josh,” Brynne turned to him.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“You smell nice,” she said softly.

His eyes almost bulged out of his head as he realized he’d decided to try out a new cologne to see if she’d like it. Apparently, she did.

“Tha—Thank you,” he nodded, still caught off guard.

“Mhmm.”

She smiled as she got off on her floor as the elevator stopped. Josh waited for the metal doors to close completely before celebrating.

“Yes!” he exclaimed, extremely proud of himself. “Whoo!”

It was safe to say, his confidence was back. He wasn’t sure what this meant, exactly, but he was willing to find out.

-

Part Five

Part Six

[clonewarsarchives]

Hello! I happened across a post of your blog about ventress’s yellow lightsaber! Very informative! Also, it had an image from the 2014-2016 run of Star Wars fact file? Can I ask how you came across that, given that that run is so hard to find

Hello there! 

Hours on google: source.

(post in case)

[vrisrezis]

Hello! I hope this isn't too pressuring. I had a run-through of your danganronpa works and they were just??? Chef's kiss? 💕✨ They're so engaging and it all makes me want to keep reading more. I'd love to hear more of your ideas so, how do you think the Danganronpa 2 cast would react to somebody having a crush on them?

Not in the stalkery way but in the kind that they genuinely appreciate them as a person, are interested to know more about their hobbies, care about their well-being, include them in activities, and all that kind of stuff! I know you've done works on characters having a crush on someone before but I'm interested on how they'd react if the situation was reversed and it was someone absolutely admiring them instead.

Ty if you do decide to write this! Stay safe, I hope you're enjoying your time as a writer on tumblr. If you ever need a break, it's alright. Have a nice day or night!💛

Ty for the kind words! Enjoy

Teruteru would be very pleased by this, of course! He may act like a flirt but he doesn’t have people interested in him ever, especially not like this! However he does notice this, and while at times he may brag about how you’re totally into him, he loves it. He loves talking about his cooking and about his mother, and has probably introduced the two of you by now. He absolutely adores knowing how much you love him!

Mahiru at first tries to come up with many excuses at to why you act a certain way around her, but thanks to hiyoko she can no longer make any more excuses for you. She eventually accepts you have a massive crush on her. She finds the stuff you do for her to be very sweet, especially since it’s kinda her love language for people to do things for her and genuinely be interested in her interests. She’s good at caring for others, but she appreciates being cared for back.

Peko won’t realize your feelings, for awhile. However, once she becomes more independent and stops seeing herself as simply a tool and a human being, she starts to notice these things about you, and opens up to the possibility that somebody could have romantic feelings for her. She appreciates all of it, and tries to return the favor.

Ibuki is smarter than she looks and is pretty quick to figuring it out! She thinks your crush on her is plain adorable! She waits it out, hoping you’ll confess to her first! She wouldn’t wanna ruin anything if you had something planned, but she’s never been the patient type so if you take too long she’s gonna just cut to the chase already!

Hiyoko may make excuses for your behavior like Mahiru, but she comes to the conclusion you like her a lot faster than Mahiru does. She will go out her way to ask you for things because she knows you’ll get it for her or do it for her! But she’s not completely taking advantage, she plans on confessing her feelings and returning the favor to you!

Mikan may see your advances as simply… friendship.. honestly. We all know mikan isn’t used to people being nice to her, and it takes awhile for her to accept you even care about the stuff she enjoys. She believes for awhile you caring for her is out of self pity, so she’s honestly completely oblivious to all the signs, but coincidentally those signs make her fall for you more.

Nekomaru doesn’t notice either, he’s not exactly the romance typa dude. Romance has never been his game, but he will notice you seem to care for him a lot more than the others. He appreciates your kindness, and that you care a lot about his thoughts and feelings. He will confess to you on his own, without even figuring out if you return his feelings.

Gundham is another that doesn’t notice, due to not making too many friends growing up, if at all. He’s rather lonely and doesn’t know what friendship looks like, so you caring for him only seems normal for companions, nothing more. He is always flustered however by you showing how much you care about his four dark devas, as well as anything else he talks about.

Nagito really can’t comprehend the idea of anyone liking him, especially not somebody he has romantic feelings for. So he doesn’t suspect a thing, despite the signs. He’s a smart guy, but he hates himself way too much to notice. He will note that you care for him, way more than anyone ever has before and it makes him feel all warm inside that you actually listen to his hope rambles.

Chiaki will get the feeling you like her, but she won’t be 100% sure. She’s smart enough to realize the signs, but she second guesses herself sometimes. In any event, she likes that you’re willing to indulge in her video games, whether that’s watching her play or playing with her, even though you lose everytime. She appreciates that, since not everyone cares as much as you do.

Sonia does not notice a god damn thing, if souda is anything to go by. She’s a little oblivious to people liking her, because she’s used to it. She’s not goi my to notice people like her if plenty of people already do and treat her a certain way. However she appreciates how much you care more than the others, because you genuinely care for her well being as well as her thoughts, opinions, feelings, interests, etc. you don’t care because she’s the ultimate princess or because she’s pretty, you care because you two are friends.

Akane doesn’t notice either, since she can be oblivious to that sorta thing. She’s not that intelligent for one, but she also just doesn’t get involved in romantics typically. She doesn’t take notice to a lot of the signs, other than the fact you care for her a lot which she just thinks is because you’re close. She plans to tell you how she feels for you on her own though.

Souda catches on, very quickly. This is only because he is the same way with you, so it’s honestly just two simps after eachother who are too scared to get it over with and confess already cause both of you are unsure if eachother is joking or not. In any event, his heart gets really warm upon realizing somebody likes him just as much as he likes that somebody.

Fuyuhiko will catch on eventually, but he’s pretty oblivious with romance to be perfectly honest. He appreciates how much you seem to care for him and admire him, although he doesn’t really understand it. It just makes him wanna be a better person just for you, he wants to truly be somebody you can look up to.

Hajime obviously struggles with confidence so he doesn’t really get what you see in him and for a bit may not notice your feelings towards him. He’s not a complete moron though so he will catch on and probably tells you how he feels before you get the chance to tell him.

[jade-parcels]

The genshin men: fatherhood edition

With: Childe, Zhongli, Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao, Venti, Albedo and Baizhu

—————————

Childe:

Ajax loves kids and he’ll make that known early on in your relationship

Like...This man wants five or more kids but he’ll settle for four. He dreams of a big family, getting to surround himself with you and your kids every night for family dinners, everyone getting together for big birthday parties or reunions! That’s his dream life! Plus, in Snezhnaya, most families have more than two kids anyways

He will cry so hard when his babies are placed in his arms for the first time, I mean he’s a mess. Nose is running, eyes puffy, lost of sniffling lmao he is so excited to be a dad!! Don’t you dare tell the other Harbingers how much he cried...What do you mean you took a picture when he wasn’t looking??? Hey??!?!

With his obscene amount of mora, he’ll buy a huge house that will accommodate everyone. Anything you want will be purchased that day or within 48 hours, the same goes for the kids

But they’ll all learn to be thankful for what they have. They’ll learn to fight, fish and speak multiple languages. He has high expectations but let’s face it, he’ll be proud of them no matter what

You’re gonna have to be the one to put your foot down though because Ajax doesn’t enjoy being the ‘mean parent’, he has trouble saying no to the kiddos which can create some tension between you and your husband. He has good intentions of course!! He doesn’t wanna say no to those cute, freckled faces!!

Zhongli:

Zhongli is nervous about having kids because he’s immortal. So this will go one of two ways. 1. You have the baby and the baby ends up not being immortal (or you adopt a baby who is not immortal) Then he loses you both. OR 2. You have the baby and it inherits his immortality and becomes an adeptus. Now he and the baby will have to watch you die while they both life forever.

Either way...It hurts him to think about because he loves you!! He wants to have a family with you!! He wants to give you that perfect family life every human desires!! But he’s torn

You two will just have to figure it out.

Zhongli will be a strong, male figure for your kid(s) and he will instill that traditional kindness and respect into their behavior. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ always, always offer to help someone who needs it, do good deeds and you will feel accomplished, be the best you you can be, alway try your hardest because that’s all that matters

He will be sure that your kid(s) always feel loved ALWAYS. Zhongli will tell them stories, cook for them, take them to school, anything that needs to be done. When you’ve had a rough day, he’ll step in to take over for the night without being asked. He shows interest in everything your kid(s) like and he will do his damn best to display every piece of artwork they make or every pretty rock they find

He...will make a great dad :’)

Kaeya:

Ooooh brother, at first Kaeya says no he doesn’t want kids but...Then he starts thinking about it

He observes the happy families that walk around the cobblestone streets of Mondstadt, how the kiddos smile and laugh with their parents. He’ll patrol in the afternoons, usually rounding the corner just in time to see the city’s kids leave school for the day, watching as they all run down the street to go home to their parents or play in the fountain together...Yeah, that really warms his heart

He’d want one or two kids, preferably two to avoid an only child being lonely. He isn’t on the best terms with Diluc but he can admit that they had a great childhood together, playing at the winery and running around as brothers do

Kaeya would be a very patient, understanding father. He doesn’t have much of a temper so he’d use the kids’ mistakes as learning opportunities instead of getting upset at them

He would be obsessed with the kids when they’re babies though oh man if you thought you had baby fever, he has it times ten! He loves holding the baby, watching with a twinkling eye as his baby grasps his thumb with its tiny hand... adorable

And if your kids inherited his eyes, his star shaped pupils that his ancestors passed down to him...He’s gonna get emotional

Everyone at the knights’ headquarters and the Angel’s Share will get sick of him REALLY fast cause he won’t stop bragging about how cute and smart his kids are lmao

Diluc:

Diluc would be such a soft dad don’t even get me started

He loves you so much of course he wants to have kids with you! Is that even a question?? He won’t be the one to bring it up unless he gets the feeling that you want kids but once you ask, he’ll agree so fast

He’ll be grateful to even have one kid with you :’) and he’ll be fine with however many kids YOU want. You want one kid? Perfect! You want four? No problem, the manor is big enough for ten! You...you want ten...? Time to hire some more maids then lmao

Diluc is a worry wart though, he’ll be afraid to hold the baby, feed it, bathe it, he’s terrified of hurting the baby or the baby suddenly hating him. So just help him out!! Cause when he gets comfortable with the baby, he’ll be in full dad mode

He isn’t embarrassed to walk around the manor, conducting business with a baby strapped to his chest!

Diluc is a very kind, gentle dad who will always offer helpful solutions to the kiddos’ problems. He’ll make sure all of their needs are met while also trying to avoid spoiling them... Too much... There will be a fair amount of spoiling...

His own father wasn’t too affectionate with him so that’s why he’ll be affectionate with his kids! Hugs and kisses when he tucks them in at night, big dad hugs when they get home from school, holding their hands in the busy streets of Mondstadt. His father was a great dad! He just aims to be better.

Xiao:

Like Zhongli, he worries about the mortality thing. Since he’s an Adeptus, his kid will certainly be an Adeptus too if you have kids together.

He also worries that his kid(s) will hate him. His duty is to kill demons which means that rain or shine, holidays, special occasions, day or night he’s gotta be ready to go slaughter demonic beings. So he’ll inevitably miss out on important stages in the kiddos’ lives

And admittedly... He’ll be scared of his kids lmao

They’re screaming, crying, barfing, pooping, laughing, screaming again...He can’t predict their behavior. It’s unsettling. All of that goes away one night when you sit him down and place your sleeping baby in his arms. His eyes go wide...And he just watches. This tiny, little baby...Feels no fear for him. It’s comforted by his presence. He almost cries...ALMOST

He’s still pretty much the same Xiao we all know and love but now he has a kid. “Slaying demons is what I do...Hey, go back inside and finish your dinner. Yes, even your vegetables. I don’t care that you don’t like them-...Fine. Don’t tell your mother, bring them to me. I’ll eat them” cute :)

He’s a protective dad and husband, he’d never let anyone or anything harm his beloved family

Venti:

Venti....does not want kids. He thinks they’re cute! He likes the idea of kids but he knows he wouldn’t enjoy actually having kids

You two already have so much fun together!! You don’t need a kid!! You guys have dogs!! Dogs are like kids! But they’re more independent and they’re cuter!

He’ll feel bad if you want kids and he doesn’t, he really will! But it’ll be nearly impossible to convince him cause he’s made his mind up :/

Venti’ll make it up to you somehow though, he’ll take you out more and show you all of the adventures you guys can have if there aren’t kids around

But for the sake of fatherhood headcanons, let’s pretend he gave in. Venti would be a very caring dad. He would cuddle the hell out of this kiddo and sing to them :’) the only problem is that Venti doesn’t like being tethered to one place for too long so he tends to take off and not come back for a few days... :(

Albedo:

Albedo wants kids mostly just to see what fatherhood would be like. He’s always been curious about what that part of his life would be like so why not have a kid

He’d be good with one kid, two at most cause after practically raising Klee, he knows how some kids can be and...He doesn’t have the mental capacity for more than two kids at a time lmao

He tries his best to show more emotion in his face. We all know he usually sits like this 😐 and goes ‘wow im so happy right now’. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was bored out of his mind right? So he’s gotta work on that. And when he musters up a smile for the baby and it smiles back at him????? Yeah...He’s gonna try to smile a lot more now

He definitely softens up once he becomes a dad, he shows emotion more than he used to and surprisingly, he takes time off of work. Shocker, I know! He decides that he’s been in the lab long enough and that he wants to be able to be there for these moments with you and his kid(s) :’) :’) He trusts Sucrose and Timaeus to take over for him for a couple hours

He keeps a journal for each kid and writes down the date and time they have their firsts or just interesting things they do ->

- 8/4: Baby sees and plays with a cat for the first time

- 9/5: Baby smacked me in the face and laughed so hard she threw up

-9/12: Baby learns that pulling my hair gets my attention. She now continues to do so

-10/15: Baby stays at Aunt Klee’s house for the first time

Baizhu:

Baizhu really loves kids, he works with them a lot and he considers Qiqi to be his daughter anyway but in terms of you guys having a kid together, with his condition he can probably only handle one kid running around

He will do his absolute best to be a good dad. Even if he feels like death, he’ll help change diapers, feed the baby, care for it when you need a break. He isn’t contagious so when you’re sleeping and he feels gross, he’ll sit back against the pillows with the baby on his chest, the three of you resting together (though he doesn’t fall asleep...that would be dangerous for the baby)

Baizhu already tends to nag at you about your health and lifestyle choices but now?? He’ll be a menace. He’ll be constantly evaluating your baby’s condition, checking to see if a certain food is giving them a rash or making sure their skin isn’t drying out. He’s hyper aware of your baby’s health and will be the one to treat them if they get sick

He’s a busy guy since he runs the pharmacy but he will always do his best to be present for your baby’s big milestones! And when your kid cries cause Baizhu’s medicine tastes like shit, he’ll do his best to not be disappointed in their reaction lmao

When you leave him alone with the baby, he’ll wrap a scarf around himself to tie the baby to his chest while he works and...he looks so cute :) dad baizhu <3 <3 <3 <3

Bonus points for him buying the baby toy medical equipment so he can get your kiddo interested in medicine :)

[chiliiscereal]

Okay, apparently my brain has nothing better to do, so I got a SINGLE prompt for ya. U ready?

...✨Living with the turtles✨

Rottmnt headcanon: living with the turtles

———

-living with the turtles is both fun and... not XD

-lets be really, Mikeys an early bird!

-you simply can’t sleep in past 8 there’s just no way

-Mikey wakes up every morning like it’s Christmas

-“there’s stuff to do today! You can’t be a slug and stay in bed! Move move move!”

-lots of jumping on your bed until you wake up

-usually everyone eating breakfast together is not a thing, as everyone is usually doing their own thing

-but if you cook anything you better be ready for all the turtles to ask for some

-you’re also now the honorary judge for literally every single competition

-need someone to judge who can do the best kick flip?

-you’re their human

-need someone to see who can balance more fridge items on your chin?

-there you are

-lots of working with splinter in that field

-you’re also the one who anyone else goes to for validation

-for some reason you can’t understand, they can never compliment each other’s work

-“hey I need you to look this over, tell me if there’s anything wrong with it, possibly-.”

-“compliment you about your work?”

-“well, if you insist.”

-will drag you to his lab or drag his lab work to you so you can admire it

-doesn’t matter if you’re reading or sleeping

-when he’s ready for you to see it then you’re ready to see it

-“it’s literally 1 am.”

-“come on get up I need you to compliment my work!”

-“alright just stop pulling on me!”

-as for GIVING attention he’s not very good at it

-he’ll try, that’s for sure

-but heaven knows he won’t compliment you to your face

-the only physical affection you receive is if he goes to you first for help

-“I only need you because I need you to hold these wires and you have more fingers than you know what to do with.”

-it’s not just Donnie though.

-it’s Mikey as well

-“look at what I drew!”

-“wow this is awesome! How long did it take?”

-“oh... about an hour?”

-“that’s really good!”

-“really?”

-will even ask you to put it on the fridge

-you give in and get a bulletin board in your room for him to pin all his work

-it’s covered with his drawings by the end of the week

-needs lots and lots of hugs

-randomly jumps on your back for a piggy back ride

-you gotta be ready for him at any given moment or else you’re both gonna end up on the floor

-and who could forget Leo

-not you that’s for sure

-he’s make sure you’d never forget he needed attention

-Leo’s definetely the type of guy to get ready to pull a stunt and dedicate it to you before doing it

-“for Y/n’s honor!”

-“Leo you’re gonna break you’re neck if you do that!”

-“it’s for your honor so it’s okay!”

-jumps out from every corner to scare you

-can never seem to get you to flinch

-this boy’s gonna get you to jump one day though

-don’t be surprised if he walks up next to you and just casually rests his elbow on your head or drapes an arm over your shoulder

-will randomly poke your side just to see you jump

-Raphs no better than his brothers in the attention department

-especially with weight lifting

-“5...6...7 *notices you walk in* 37...38...39...”

-he doesn’t go around giving affection like Leo and Mikey though

-his love language is helping with anything you need, such as as helping you reach a high shelf

-very comfortable just picking you up and moving you out of the way

-doesn’t matter if it’s to get you out of danger or if you’re blocking his way to the pizza that just arrived

-only responsible roommate out of the four

-only one that washes the dishes

-video games all the time

-you can’t live with the turtles without liking video games

-you and Mikey bake and cook all the snacks for video game night

-of course, Leo also has a rivalry with you

-not one like the old rivalry between Leo and Raph in other versions no no

-it’s the playful “hey wanna take me in hockey? I bet I’ll wiiiiinnnn~” or “I’m gonna best you at this and you’re gonna go crying to splinter!”

-winner gets bragging rights

- you also can’t live in the lair without being besties with April

-come on, she’s cool as hell!

-she’s the one you talk to about human problems or just complaining about the turtles in general

-nosey boys

-very very nosey

-there’s no way to have secrets in this lair

-you have a diary?

-expect Leo to go through it in one night

-you read fanfiction or write fanfiction?

-oh Donnies keeping tabs on each chapter

-he’s updated all your tech, he can definetely see what you look up and access it from his computer

-hey, living with them isn’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows

-you’ll always find Mikey in your room admiring any decorations or books

-he’s constantly borrowing your stuff and not asking

-Raph is probably the only one that understands personal space

-...unless it comes to him worrying about you when you leave the lair

-will text you all the time, asking if you’re okay, even if you’re just hanging with a friend or going to the store

-since they always invade your privacy, they always know if you aren’t feeling okay

-the moment you step foot in the lair they’re asking what happened

-and if you try to say there’s nothing wrong oh ho ho ho you’re in for it

-Donnie is pulling up articles, Mikey is bugging you, Leo is trying to activate his face man powers, and Raph is sitting in front of you and asking what’s up

- the only privacy invading they do that you actually enjoy is when you’re in your room at like, midnight, watching a movie

-you’ll be watching peacefully and then Mikey just appears in the doorway

-he’s got blankets and he’s got snacks

-you just wave him over and let him sit on your bed

-then Leo shows up, no offering other than his presence

-don’t bother trying to push him away he’s gonna watch that movie with you and Mikey even if it kills him

-once you three are settled, Donnie shows up with a movie projector so you don’t have to watch on a tiny phone

-he ends up staying, even though he denied that he would

-Raph shows up with pillows for everyone, the only turtle to actually ASK to join

-you can’t say no to the giant teddy bear

-you may have started off by yourself in your dark room but you ended in a giant cuddle puddle with your roommates

-sometimes though you don’t have time to hang out with them

-school

-school happens

-you have to deny them because of homework

-Mikey will help you with flash cards, decorating them so they’re fun and make learning interesting

-Donnie studies with you and probably knows the material better

-he’ll help you so it’ll be over faster

-Raph is simply your company

-he’ll sit quietly in your room and play relaxing music, offering any advice or comments he had

-Leo just tries to convince you to ignore it

-it’ll still be there tomorrow! As of right now, he needs you to watch the skating tournament with him

-once you’ve got everything done you’re immediately dragged into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on

-you’re also the self appointed camera man, using your phone to capture every harebrained plan AND failure

-living with them isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but it sure is never boring

Sorry this is all I got!

If anyone has any headcanon or oneshot requests send em my way!

[lxvislxdy]

Imagine Bakugou x stoner!reader

So... maybe I got carried away, and maybe this turned into more of just you and the bakusquad being besties, but I literally love this concept and will 100% be writing more.

Warning(s): obvious mentions of drug use, and some language. All characters are 18+.

So, let’s say, just for the hell of it, that this is a quirkless!college!au 

just imagine...

- you befriend Sero and Denki first, meeting them in a class, and they love you right off the bat

- you’re personality just meshes so well with theirs, you become bffs almost instantly

- the three of you raise hell in that class, I’m convinced, like RIP to whoever sits near you goofs

- you slowly start to hang out outside of class. maybe it starts as a study sesh, but let’s be honest here. the three of you can’t focus to save your life, and eventually Sero asks if you guys wanna smoke

- and, to their complete surprise, you outsmoke them (Denki later bows down to you, literally, and proposes to you with a ring pop. he’s such a dork I love him)

- this becomes a weekly thing, as it should, and the three of you are practically attached at the hip

- your favorite part of hanging with them is, of course, all their crazy stories about their friends

- so of course they want to introduce you to the bakusquad, and you are just as eager to meet the rest of the group, if not a little nervous

- Denki and Sero assure you they’ll love you (”c’mon, you’re just like us, they’ll adore you!!!”) and they take you out to lunch with Mina and Kirishima

- now, if you thought you, Denki, and Sero was a chaotic trio, just wait until you add Mina to the equation

- Kirishima lives for the chaos and thinks you’re adorable, but the guy has his hands full keeping the four of you out of trouble, that’s for sure

- (when Bakugou’s not around, Kirishima is in charge of the braincell, I don’t make the rules)

- Mina immediately kidnaps you for a girls night, and is ecstatic about having a girl to hang out with her and the boys 

- (SIDE NOTE, Mina introduces you to Jirou, and the three of you are THE baddest bitches around, thank you. the three of you definitely have girl nights and either kick the boys out, or force them to join, face masks and all)

- anyway, you finally get the opportunity to meet Bakugou

- and, as always, he’s in a sour mood. but! you don’t let his grumpiness upset you, in fact, you take it in stride and throw his attitude right back at him

- you aren’t mean, and you certainly aren’t going out of your way to bug him, but if Bakugou makes a snide comment? you better believe you’re throwing one right back at him

- and at first, Bakugou is annoyed, and thinks you’re mocking him. like, who do you think you are? 

- but the more he gets to know you, he realizes that you’re way too sweet to be that mean. you fit right in with the idiots he’s friends with.

- and, to be honest, it drives him nuts. because he likes you. he likes you, and he likes when you snap back at him, and he likes watching you goof off and laugh with his friends

- in true Bakugou fashion, though, you’re convinced he hates you. it’s just the icing on top of the cake when one night you notice that every time you’re there, and Sero lights up, Bakugou disappears 

- when you finally tell Mina this, she laughs. actually laughs! and you’re just like ....what?

- turns out, Bakugou hardly ever smokes with them, and he’s just like that. 

“Trust me, babe,” Mina tells you, “It’s not you. Bakugou just doesn’t know how to relax, he’s got a terrible case of trust issues and a bad attitude to top it off. But he likes you, trust me! He’ll come around.”

- you weren’t so sure about that, but you take her word for it. 

- and then, one night it’s just you, Denki, Mina, and Bakugou, and he stays!

“Someone with a brain has to make sure you idiots don’t do something stupid.” He says, when you ask.

- that night ends up being one of the funniest nights of your life. the three of you are high as a kite, and everything is funny. seriously, you can’t stop laughing!

- then, you find out Bakugou’s birthday is on 4/20, and you have never been so excited in your life (so you say). it’s the funniest, most ironic thing to you

- you go up to Bakugou, grabbing both his arms by the biceps, and are going on and on about it, bouncing on the balls of your feet and giggling, and Bakugou just listens to you talk and he blushes 

- you’re adorable, and he can’t lie to himself anymore, he likes you. he really likes you. and this realization really freaks him out (he calls Kirishima later that night absolutely freaking out, and he has to totally calm him down. Kiri ships it)

- over the next month or two, he tries his best to not give himself away, but it’s so hard. 

- he starts sticking around when everyone smokes together, and sitting next to you during movie nights (because you always fall asleep, and theres a good 80% chance you end up leaning on his shoulder), and he offers to help when you complain about a class you’re struggling with

- and it all comes to a head one night when he gets jealous. 

- he was definitely reading too much into things, but he swears you’re acting clingy with Sero, leaning on his shoulder, and grabbing his arm when you laugh, and playing with his hair. he definitely has himself convinced Sero is making a move on you, and he’s pissed.

- at some point during the hangout, he gets up and storms out of the room, and no one really notices but you and Kiri. after a minute or two you’re curiosity gets the best of you, so you go after him

- he’s in the kitchen, glaring at this plant Denki and Sero have (that is totally, 100% dying, and probably can’t be saved) and he’s pouting

“I don’t think staring at it is gonna bring it back to life.” You say, and he just looks at you weird and asks what you want

- you say you’re just checking on him, and he asks why you care. and you’re just like dude ??? i care about you? hello? we’re friends ??

- and Bakugou, being himself, snaps at you and makes some kind of rude comment

- so you snap back, offended because you’d just wanted to check on him

- and halfway through you telling him what a jerk he is, he kisses you

- he kisses you like his life depends on it, because he’s still pissed off about Sero and, come on, Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t do anything halfway

- and maybe the two of you make out in the kitchen for way longer than you want to admit

- and maybe you laugh and call him an idiot when he tells you he was jealous of Sero

- and maybe Denki catches the two of you, and screams like a little girl on christmas morning

- cue protective Denki and Sero telling Bakugou he better not EVER hurt you... and then crying happy tears a minute later because you’re so cute together

- after that, Bakugou is literally never seen without you by his side. he walks you to class, cooks you dinner at least once a week, helps you study and takes you out every time you ace a test. this man knows your coffee order, and has your schedule memorized, it’s impressive 

- god forbid he see’s you eating junk food

- listen, he knows how Denki and Sero eat when they get the munchies, okay, and that is absolutely not allowed. this man is such a simp behind closed doors, he will literally make you homemade snacks for when you go smoke with the guys. 

- he’s not the greatest with words, okay, but he loves you and he shows it through small things like that. he’s always pushing you to do your best, and bragging about you, and doing little things to remind you how much he cares

- he’s also a little over protective, but he means well, and cmon it’s kinda cute when he get’s jealous, sometimes

- but overall you guys are just the cutest couple. like the bakusquad is absolutely obsessed. (you make Bakugou soft, but don’t tell him they said that)

- and sure you fight over little things every once in a while, but you learn how to handle Bakugou’s attitude quick, and it never lasts too long. 

- if you do have a big fight, you take a step back and let each other cool down, and then you make Bakugou talk it out. he hates it at first, because sharing his feelings is so not something he wants to do, but it does help and he knows it.

- if, on the rare occasion, the two of you have a bad fight you can’t resolve on your own, therapist Kiri is there to save the day

Bonus:

- now, let’s get down to the whole reason i made this au in the first place

- the first time the two of you celebrate his birthday after getting together, he makes it clear that the day of he just wants to spend it with you

- so the weekend closest to his bday, the whole squad goes out and celebrates, but when it comes to his actual bday? Bakugou has a surprise for YOU

- you show up to his apartment, not really knowing what to expect, and this man pulls out a pan of brownies

- yeah, those brownies

- turns out, he and Sero used to sell them in high school

“What? Sero already sold, and I can cook, so we just... did it. It was good money.”

“How could you keep this from me?! Have I told you recently that I adore you?”

He just laughs, “You’re such a dork.”

- so you have the PLEASURE of getting high with Bakugou for the first time

- and let me just tell you, you’re in for a treat

- Bakugou. is. so. clingy. as soon as it hits, you know, because he’s wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his lap

- he’s speaking so softly?? and he’s just relaxed, and content with holding you and talking about anything and everything, just cuddling with music in the background

- high! makeout sessions! with Bakugou! that’s it, that’s literally it. he is INSATIABLE 

- the man just wants to kiss you, for hours, okay? give him what he wants!!

- he used to get super paranoid, that’s why he doesn’t smoke much, but with you he’s calm and comfortable, and not anxious

- it becomes tradition to make brownies on both of your birthdays, and you look forward to it all year

- and every once in a while, Bakugou will smoke with the squad, and they quickly learn that he can’t keep his hands off of you when he’s high. they tease him relentlessly, and Sero and Denki definitely have asked him (aka whined to him) to stop hogging all your attention

- also, he definitely lights the bowl for you, because he is a gentlemen

- shotgun kisses. yup. that’s all I have to say.

before I get carried away again, this is the end. Thank you for reading! I literally can’t get enough of this au I’m in love with it!! I’ll be writing more of this au soon, hopefully, and my requests are open!! 

[byunbaekby]

title — the things i know pairing — soccerplayer!jisung x female reader genres — angst, fluff, high school au, strangers to lovers au, first love au, long distance relationship, hurt and comfort, coming of age overall warnings — underage drinking, cancer, character death, language, mentions of hickeys, fainting, mentions and descriptions of hospitals, soccer inaccuracies, lots of angst (you’ve been warned!) word count — 14.8k summary — jisung has never been keen on growing up, or even understanding what adulting means. at seventeen, all he knows is: he loves soccer (and he’s damn gifted at it), and girls are very pretty but also plenty scary. then he met you, his first love who turned his life upside down and made his stomach roll like the soccer balls he loved to kick around the field. but when your cancer comes back after years in remission, jisung thinks, he doesn’t really want to grow up anymore. playlist — falling, harry styles ; your guardian angel, red jumpsuit apparatus ; my first and last, nct dream ; bye my first, nct dream ; orchid, jeremy zucker

additional — for the heartbreak hotel collab hosted by @nct-writers​. my concept in the five stages of grief was “acceptance and hope.” thank you to my babes @suh-insane​ and @astroboy-lele​ for proof-reading!

The thing about knowledge is that you never know when or what you’re going to learn. There’s no way for you to predict what will be of your mind when you fall into bed that night, surrendering to the moon. In the morning, there’s no telling what knowledge your brain will choose to store away for remembrance over the course of the night, and what your brain will decide is unnecessary. What you decide not to remember is a memory you can’t even miss. 

When you wake up every morning, you don’t know if you’ll go to bed having met someone who will change your life forever. 

At seventeen, there are two things that Park Jisung knows. One, he loves playing soccer (and he’s damn good at it, the way his long legs carry him across the field in what seems to onlookers like seconds). Two, girls are very pretty but plenty scary as well. 

The day starts out normally, like any other away game that the team plays.

He wakes up at six o’clock on the dot, and eats a large breakfast to hold him over for the game, then packs a few granola bars into his soccer bag and lets his sister know he’s leaving before he jogs the way to the park where the bus is waiting for his team. The ride is normally an hour long, so he either tucks his earbuds into his ears and tries to get in a short nap or he converses with his teammates. 

Today though, the bus ride is three hours long. Crossing his hoodie-clad arms across his chest to act against the cold air of the bus, he focuses his gaze outside and watches as the town goes by. 

“Yo, Jisung, check this out!” 

At the sound of his name he turns his head, blinking when he sees a number of his teammates in the surrounding area nudging him closer. A few of them are leaning in towards a particular teammate, who displays a proud expression. “What’s up,” asks Jisung as he too leans forward toward his team member, curiosity slightly piqued.

Jaemin, the teammate in question, tugs the collar of his jersey down to reveal his skin. On the milky white curve of Jaemin’s collarbone, he sports a dark purple bruise, surrounded by a perimeter of yellow where the skin seems to be healing. There’s no question as to where that mark came from, and it definitely wasn’t from soccer. 

“Ew, man, that looks sick!” comes from Donghyuck, along with a few comments from others, either approving or disturbed. 

“Where’d that come from?” 

Renjun slaps Mark on the chest, eyebrows furrowed at him. “Obviously, it was from Anne! Didn’t you see the way they were all over each other at last week’s game?” Jaemin grins, eyes going lovesick at the thought of his girlfriend. 

Jisung’s expression contorts into one of disgust. “That’s disgusting, man,” he comments, nose still scrunched in distaste as he leans back into his original spot on the bus seat. Another thing he’ll never understand is why people are so desperate to grow up, as if giving hickeys and sneaking vodka into their Hydro flasks makes them somehow more adult. 

He slips his earbuds into his ears, playing some light muzak to lull him to sleep with his head leaned rather uncomfortably against the cold window. 

-

Jisung doesn’t think that he’s exceptionally smart; he’s gotten passing to above average grades his entire life. He’s not musically talented, nor is he particularly a smooth talker. 

But hearing people call him gifted is a feeling he relishes every time.

With his long legs and strangely large and spacious lungs, soccer called the boy’s name from the time he could run. He dominated the peewee league, then the club teams until this point, at the ripe age of seventeen waiting to be scouted for college teams. 

He wasn’t usually one to brag but today, he had shot the winning goal. 

Everyone has their thing, the one thing that they excel at. For Picasso it was painting, for Yiruma it was piano, for Renjun it’s spending four hours every night researching alien conspiracy theories. For Jisung, it’s soccer. But he’s never been exceptionally good at speaking to people. 

“What’s your name?” He hears a voice, cheery and upbeat, behind him as he’s grabbing his bag on the side of the field. The game is over, and the crowd begins to dissipate while the team members are gathering their things to return to the bus. Turning over his shoulder he sees you, wearing a bright smile. Cautiously he responds, “Jisung Park.”

“Oh, so you’re Korean then. I’m gonna write that down, okay? How long have you been playing soccer?” You ask next, and now Jisung’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

“Write what down?” He asks, trying to keep his tone as polite as possible. Even so, how is he supposed to react to a random person at a game suddenly appearing to ask him questions? As he wipes his forehead with his towel he adds, “Who even are you?”

Quickly you say, “I write in the high school newspaper, and wanted to get a close-up of today’s star.” It’s then that Jisung realizes the camera slung around your neck and the notepad in your hands. 

“Why are you writing about me? I don’t even go here.”

“Because,” you say, a slight sigh creeping into your voice now. “Our team sucked today. You straight up stole the show, and no one wants to read about a team that lost. I’d rather give them a peek at the star.”

“14!” His coach yells his number once, causing Jisung to look over his shoulder to the source of the voice, where his teammates are already beginning to pile onto the bus. The boy in question slings his bag over his shoulder and tucks his soccer ball under his right arm before finally getting a good look at you. “Shouldn’t you be writing something to raise your team’s spirit or something? Giving them support, maybe?”

You shrug. “I don’t like underdogs. Don’t like writing about them. I’d rather read about the heroes. So how long have you been playing soccer again?” 

“Jisung!” Now it’s Chenle calling after him, and he really needs to go. Eyes flickering to the street where his teammates are gesturing for him to hurry, he looks back to you. Your eyebrow is raised expectantly, right hip popped out as you wait. Before he starts to run off, he manages a small, “I’ve been playing eleven years. Um… bye.”

Then he turns away and his long legs carry him to the bus a few meters away. Even so, behind him he can hear your loud, proud voice yelling after him with the name of your high school: “Check the online newspaper! You’ll see my article!”

What a weirdo, he can’t help but think as the team cheers for their star player getting on the bus back home. 

-

A week later, it’s another Saturday night following a victorious win against another team in the local area when Jisung gets a call from Chenle. “What’s up,” he asks immediately, leaning back in his desk chair to throw his soccer ball up in the air and catch it with one hand. 

“Wanna party tonight? Celebrate our win a bit?”

“Where?” asks Jisung. He’d never been big on parties. For one, his long legs that were great for running weren’t exactly skilled in dancing or anything of the like. Secondly, he’d definitely be expected to talk to girls and he’s not really in the mood to make a fool of himself. 

“Taeyong’s house. Me, Mark, Hyuck, and Jaemin are going. Renjun’s busy, and Jeno wants to spend time with his cat. What do you say? Wanna join?” 

Jisung sighs. He was honestly just exhausted. “Think I’ll pass. My sister’s been getting on me about my bio grade.”

Chenle groans on the other line. “Lame.”

“Next time, promise,” says Jisung. 

“Fine. Have fun studying, looooser!” This is the last thing Chenle says before hanging up, leaving his best friend alone to shake his head with a small laugh. Then he remembers something, some words that a stranger had yelled out to him a week before. 

Sitting up at his desk, Jisung opens his laptop and types in the name of your high school, along with your town. A few clicks around the website finds him at the online news section, plus a scroll or two past some questionable articles, there it is: a picture of him mid-kick, the winning one if he remembers well enough. His nose is scrunched in concentration and strands of dark hair cling to his forehead. 

Soccer Superstar from the opposing team steals the show and the win!

A small scoff leaves Jisung’s lips, trying to humble himself as he reads over the first few paragraphs. 

Our school’s boys soccer team faced a devastating loss on Saturday in the face of the opposing team’s ace player (pictured above). The game ended promptly when the superstar player confidently kicked in the final shot, though the result had been clear from the first half of the game. 

A short interview with the hotshot player revealed that he has been playing soccer for eleven years! A senior from Neo Culture Prep, it is clear as day that the school is very lucky to have such a prodigy on the team.

Who is this superstar player, you ask?

His name is Jisung Park. 

Geez, Jisung thinks. He knew he was good but not that good. The article did a good job of spicing him up, making him look like he was a lot better than he really was. There’s too much fluff; sure, he’s skilled and he knows it, but—he touches his cheeks. They’re warm—the article makes him sound like a soccer god, and it’s beyond embarrassing. Who even are you?

A scroll to the bottom of the page tells him all he needs to know.

Article written by: (Name) (Last Name).

-

He doesn’t return to your town for almost two months. There’s a tournament today, the hours lurching between games giving him more than enough time to psych himself out about how he’ll play. 

It’s noon, the sun shining overhead causing a sheet of sweat to amass on Jisung’s forehead. His team has just won their second match of the day, and in waiting for their next game, his eyes are scanning the bleachers set up for observers on the side of the field. It’s not hard to find you, same camera hanging around your neck. 

With his long legs, he jogs over to you towel in hand. You’re not at all focused on him, eyes pressed into the camera’s viewfinder as you attempt to capture a good shot of the current game. 

“I don’t like the stuff you said about me in your article.” 

His deep voice suddenly intrudes your thoughts, and you jump in your place. As you turn to him and drop your camera from your face, he catches sight of the way your eyes widen at his appearance. A flood of recognition replaces the shock before you tilt your head. “Why? It was all good stuff.” 

Patting at his forehead with his towel, Jisung responds, “Yeah, exactly. I’m not that good. I could’ve played better that day.” This brings a small snort from you. “Really! They were narrowing the angle on me, I should have flanked or lofted.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

“It’s—” 

You cut him off before he can explain. “You’re good. Why are you so shy to accept that?”

“Why do you keep trying to paint me as the main character of the team? Everyone works hard together.” He questions, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Because you are,” you respond matter-of-factly, focused enough to press your eye into the viewfinder again. A few seconds pass, and Jisung recognizes the click of the camera as you capture something on the field. “You’re clearly the best player on the team by a long shot. You’re the main character, the hero.”

At your response, Jisung shakes his head in disbelief and scrunches his nose. There’s really no getting through to you. “I’m more than the hero you think I am.”

You turn to him, facial features contorted into a mischievous expression. “I’m sure you are.” Jisung realizes then that you’re holding something out to him. Taking it, he observes it. A… business card? With your name and number on it. “(Name). Aspiring journalist.”

“You have a business card? Aren’t you like, seventeen?” 

You shrug, smile tugging on your lips. “Never hurts to be prepared. Call me.” It’s the last thing you say before you flitter away on quick feet, leaving to interview the team which has just won their match. He watches you leave, wondering if you know what kind of effect you have on people. 

-

“I don’t know, man. She seems kinda crazy,” says Hyuck from the seat next to him, leaning his head back. However, a sudden bump in the road causes the bus to jump, startling the boy a bit. Jisung had just shared his thoughts about asking you out with his friend, who immediately made a face and shook his head. 

“Crazy?” Sure, you’re a bit forward and maybe slightly reckless, but he doesn’t think you’re… crazy. It’s been a few weeks since he last saw you and from the conversations you’ve shared over text and phone… he thinks he likes you. Like, really likes you. It’s goddamn terrifying.

“Yeah, we all saw her article,” Chenle speaks up from the seat behind him. “She’s obsessed with you.” 

Jisung rolls her eyes. “It was one article. That doesn’t mean she’s obsessed.”

“I think you should do it. It’d be funny to get on camera in case you fail,” snorts Renjun.

Jaemin pipes in from in front of them. “But if you do ask her out, she lives three hours away. That’s a lot of distance.” He’s the only one in a relationship, so maybe he has the only opinion that Jisung trusts. 

“Other people have done more distance.”

Now, it’s Jeno’s turn to pipe in. “But you’re not other people, you’re Jisung Park. You’ve never had a girlfriend.” Should he feel insulted? Chenle also adds, “Jeno’s right. You’re a senior! It’s your year, and you wanna spend it tied down to some girl who lives three hours away?” 

But you’re not just some girl. Mark’s the only one who hasn’t spoken, and most of the time, he’s the most level headed. Jisung turns to him with a sincere expression and asks, “What do you think?”

Though he had been trying to stay quiet throughout the conversation, he stretches a bit in his seat before finally saying, “I think you should go for it.”

“I think you should too!” Jaemin says. “But I think you should be prepared for what it means.”

“Whatever you decide to do, we’ll hype you up.”

“I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” Jisung asks. “If she rejects me, at least she’s three hours away, right?” There’s murmurs of agreement around the seven of them. He tries to sound relaxed, but the thought of asking a girl out for the first time causes his heart to thump loudly in his chest. Oh god… should he do it?

“So?” asks Hyuck after a few seconds of silence, and it’s then that Jisung realizes everyone’s looking at him. “Are you gonna do it?” 

He gulps. “... No idea.”

A collective groan emerges from the group of boys. Hyuck, ever the genius, straightens his back with a glint in his eye. “How about this? If we win, you ask her out. You’ll be riding on a winning spree and it’ll give you confidence. If we lose then… there’s more girls back home.” 

That… doesn’t sound like a bad idea. But oh god, he doesn’t know which option he wants. 

-

For the first time, Jisung feels like his legs are knotting into each other, tumbling over his feet. 

Soccer had always come easily to him, like breathing. But for some unknown reason, he’s totally off his game today. He knows the play, his strengths, and even the weaknesses of his opponents, but he trips over his feet. 

No, that’s a lie. He definitely does know the source of his nervousness, and it lives in the form of a girl with a camera and a notepad sitting in the bottom corner bleacher. His breath is frantic as he zips back and forth across the field. The sounds of the game are ringing loud in his ear, and he can hardly even focus on the black and white ball being kicked around, let alone what the coach is screaming at them. They’re so close, one more goal should do it. 

He knows what’s going to happen. Jisung Park had always been known for his ending kicks.

But what if he messes it up? What if he fumbles the kick or whiffs it? 

Then again, does he even want to win? That’s a dumb quesiton—of course he does—but the question is: is he ready for what comes with the win? He really shouldn’t look, shouldn’t peek for just one look at you, but he does. You’re scribbling in your notepad, and he swears in that millisecond that you look so pretty. 

Yeah, he wants it. He really wants it. 

He’s ready, and—oh god, Sungchan is passing the ball to him. Suddenly Jisung is on high alert, winding up toward the goal. He captures Sungchan’s ball with ease, no longer tripping over himself as he makes his way to the end goal. 

One kick, just nail this one kick. 

He winds up, turning his body to the correct angle; he kicks it and…

Please go in, please go in, he’s begging. 

The ball flies in straight past the goalkeeper, who jumps toward it but there’s no use. It all happens so quickly, and suddenly his team erupts into celebration when the referee blows his whistle. Still standing there, Jisung catches his breath and stares into the goal. 

He won. 

That means… He glances at you. You’re wearing a huge smile on your face, and without noticing it himself, Jisung has his own proud smile on his. His momentary peace is interrupted by his friends running toward him, nearly knocking him over in their celebration. 

“Yeeahhh, Jisung Park, you’re the man!” 

A few minutes later, Jisung tries to calm his nerves after thanking the opposing team for a good game. When he returns to the sidelines where his stuff is, he can barely get some water down his throat before Chenle is pushing a soccer ball into his hand. “Good luck, dude,” he says, and Jisung can feel the others’ eyes on him. Oh no, it’s time. 

He steals a glance at you, and—Oh. You’re looking at him too. A bashful smile spreads over your lips and you turn away, focusing back to your conversation with your friend. His heart is beating so loud, but Jisung doesn’t think it’s because of the soccer game. Turning back to his friends, he groans, “I need a pep talk.”

“Okay, uh,” Mark attempts. “You got this, you know you’re the man. Um… if she rejects you, then it’s okay, there’s other fish in the sea!” A groan erupts through the group. “That’s not a pep talk, Mark!” 

“Listen,” says Chenle suddenly, grabbing Jisung’s shoulders to stare at him. “She’s not gonna reject you. You’re Jisung freaking Park! The star of the team and my best friend! Go get ‘em, and don’t take no for an answer!” With this, he gives Jisung a small push in the girl’s direction.

“Actually, uh—I think no means no,” pipes in Jisung but everyone cuts him off with a collective, “JUST GO!” 

Pink spreads across his cheeks as he slowly walks in your direction. At a good distance away, he places the coveted soccer ball down on the ground and winds himself up for a kick. Okay, he just shot the winning goal of the game. If he can do that, he can do this. Running forward the slightest, Jisung gives himself a silent pep talk as his foot taps the ball. It goes moving from its spot, flying through the air… and that’s when Jisung realizes his mistake. Instead of gently tapping against your ankle like he had planned, the ball flies straight in the air, knocking the side of your head rather harshly. 

“Not that hard, genius!” Chenle chastises from behind him, and Jisung has to hold back the desire to actually groan in that moment. He immediately runs toward you, hands out in surprise. “Oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he repeats, reaching out for you. You’re rubbing the spot on the side of your head where the ball had hit, and he wants to disappear right there. 

He never should have done this. 

Why was he born again?

“I’m so sorry,” he says again for the nth time, feeling shame and humiliation speed up his spine at the way you wince when you touch the side of your head. “Oh my god, go get me an ice pack,” he demands over his shoulder at his friends.

“No, no I’m okay,” you reassure everyone. Now all the eyes are on the two of you. 

A few moments of silence pass as you eye the soccer ball which has rolled some distance away, crouching down to pick it up. Ball in hand, you scan the outside of it… and destroying all of Jisung’s hopes and expectations, you burst into laughter.

You laugh so hard, the boisterous sounds leaving your lips so vehemently that you have to cover your mouth with your hand. Jisung furrows his eyebrows. “I just kicked you in the head and you’re laughing?” Oh god, he must have done more damage than he thought. You don’t answer, the only sounds leaving you are giggles and guffaws. It’s only making him feel worse; geez, he wishes he wasn’t so tall so he could positively disappear right now. 

You finally look up at him and meet his gaze, your own eyes crinkled in delight. Flipping the ball over in your hands, you present to him the ball. Written on one of the large white spots reads a firm, “Go out with me?” in black marker.

“This is why you kicked me in the head?” You ask, still chuckling the slightest. Bashfully, Jisung nods. You laugh again. Every time you do that, he feels like getting smaller and smaller. “Of course I’ll go out with you.”

Wait, really?

He says these words aloud, eyes wide at your ease. He hadn’t expected you to actually say yes! “Sure,” you respond with a smile. “Though I could’ve gone without the head injury.” 

This brings a laugh from the both of you. He really had been worrying so much about nothing. His frame instantly relaxes, taking the ball back from you. “You sure you don’t need the ice pack?”

“No, I could definitely use an ice pack.” 

-

The first date happens two weeks after that game, and it’s his first real date so he has no idea how to act. Everything goes fine—he takes you to the local arcade in your town, and though he’d deny it to the ends of the earth, you beat him in foosball. 

“Ha!” You had screamed. “Superstar soccer player Jisung Park, and you can’t beat me in table soccer?” His cheeks had burned pink at the sound of your voice reverberating around the public arcade, but honestly the mirth in your eyes was worth it.

His cheeks are red but the air is cold on the walk home to your house. He had promised to have you home by nine, and it’s—he checks the time on his phone—8:45. 

A look at you, holding the giant stuffed teddy bear that you had won (he hadn’t won it for you, because lord knows he’s horrible at skee-ball), and Jisung can see the air leaving your lips. “Hey, you cold?”

“Nah,” you shake your head, though you scoot closer to him on the sidewalk. His tongue laves over his bottom lip quickly, and he almost wants to hold your hand. But that wouldn’t do much to keep you warm. 

He purses his lips, then immediately his hands are working at taking off his hoodie. That’s a cute thing, isn’t it? Boyfriends giving hoodies to their girlfriends? “Here, take this.”

When you take one look at the hoodie in his hands and roll your eyes, Jisung knows he’s in for it. “Seriously? You can’t fool me with some cheesy rom-com moves,” you laugh.

Ouch.

That hurt his pride. He was just trying to be nice, maybe a tad bit romantic, but you clearly weren’t having it. He should have known you would be so tsundere, and maybe he does.

He knows you act strong, like there is no way on the face of the earth that you would ever swoon for his lame attempts at flirting. But when you reach upward on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek before you step into your house, he knows you like it just as much as he does.

-

For the longest time, it’s been just him and his sister Naeun.

His parents passed away shortly after his birth, so they stayed under the custody of their aunt. When his sister became an adult, she became his legal guardian. Since then, it’s been the two of them against the world.

Though kids had sometimes made fun of him for not having a mom or a dad, Jisung never paid those kids much attention. Sure, he didn’t have a dad to teach him how to drive or a mom to attend his parent-teacher conferences, but he had his sister and she was all he’d never need. Naeun gave up everything for him: she didn’t go to college, she traded nights out with her friends to help him with her math homework, she worked two jobs so he could play soccer. She had worked so hard, perhaps sheltered Jisung so much that he had always lived a comfortable life.

It never occurs to him just how much she had struggled until the morning she asks him to get a job. 

She sits across the dining table at breakfast, and over his cereal, Jisung notes how shaken and guilty she looks. There must be something on her mind, but that’s how his sister’s always been; she doesn’t like to worry him, and speaks up when she’s ready. When she finally tells him, he blinks, confused. 

“I can’t pay the bills alone. Not with soccer getting more expensive, and the landlord raising the rent—that bastard,” she mumbles under her breath, surprising Jisung. She hardly cursed. “It’s… It’ll just be for a short time. I promise.” She has tears in her eyes. Jisung furrows his eyebrows; she must feel guiltier about this than he thought. Immediately he nods in understanding. “It’s fine, Noona. Don’t worry about it. I’ll, uh, go out looking this weekend.” 

He takes another spoonful of cereal into his mouth, thinking that the conversation will end there. But it doesn’t, his sister’s quiet voice reaching his ears. “Promise me you’ll go to college, Sung. Promise me you’ll make it. Make it all worth it.”

And it’s in that moment, in the way that his sister’s voice is on the edge of breaking, that it occurs to him just how much his sister has sacrificed for him. How quickly she had to grow up, having become his parent at eighteen, just a few months away from how old he was now. And he was nowhere near as responsible as her. 

He swears in that moment that he’ll uphold his promise. He’ll get a scholarship, he’ll help his sister out. He’ll pay back everything she’s given up for him.

-

Finally, today you’re in town.

It’s the first time you’ve come to visit him in his town, and he’s so excited to show you everything: his school, his favorite ice cream place on the corner of the street from his apartment building, and even the park he grew up kicking soccer balls at. Even after all these years, him and his friends still came here to practice their soccer technique.

Today, the two of you are sitting underneath a tree at said park, his head in your lap. You’re running your hands through his dark hair, and wow, he’d never admit that it feels so good. 

There’s a small laugh heard from you as you comb through his locks. “You should dye your hair.”

“Suddenly?” He asks. “I don’t even know what color I’d dye it.” 

“You should do like, a blue or something. Oh, purple! Purple would be nice!” Your excitement causes him to roll his eyes promptly, sitting up. “I’ll dye my hair purple if you dye your hair purple,” he retorts to you. 

“Maybe I will,” you say, standing onto your feet now that he’s gotten off of you. Wiping the grass from your legs briefly, you nod toward his soccer ball a few feet away. “C’mon, let’s play.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You wanna play soccer.”

“Yeah, is that so surprising?” 

“Um, yeah, a little bit considering the fact that you said it’s boring and that you complain having to get up to go to the fridge at two in the morning,” quips Jisung with a laugh. You only roll your eyes in response. “I never said soccer was boring, I just said it’s only interesting when you play. And you’re gonna teach me right now, so stand up,” you say, extending a hand to him.

He takes your hand, rising to his feet before picking up the ball. “Fine,” he relents, a smirk making its way onto his face. “Try to keep up.”

For fifteen minutes, the two of you race up and down the park’s open grass field, chasing the ball in every direction. He evades you, long legs carrying him and the ball while you chase after him. 

“Wait,” you say mid-sprint, slowing to a stop. Your chest is heaving, and slowly Jisung stops his running also. “You good?” He asks from a few feet away.

“Yeah,” you say breathlessly, reaching a hand up to wipe at your forehead. “Just… gimme a sec.” A minute passes of you catching your breath, but Jisung doesn’t pay it much attention—a person who didn’t play soccer and have trained lungs like him would struggle.

“Okay, okay,” you finally say, shaking your head a bit. “Let’s go again.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, worry seeping into his tone.

“Yeah, yes! Just—just go.”

So he does, beginning to kick the ball down field as he chases after it, stopping past center field to pass the ball to you. You’re racing after him, and though the ball is coming your way, you trip over it, falling straight onto the floor.

Your head hangs low, and he immediately rushes over to you.

“Hey, hey! You okay?” He asks, kneeling down but your eyes are closed. He swipes a hand over your forehead, and it’s that moment when he realizes your eyes are closed. Did you pass out? Had he pushed you too far? “(Name)?” 

No response. Oh god, what is he supposed to do?

Is he supposed to check if you’re breathing? Where can he check for a pulse again? In his moment of inadequacy, he pulls out his phone and calls his sister.

She’ll know what to do, but it pains him that he doesn’t.

His sister arrives quickly, and immediately takes you to the hospital. According to her, you do have a pulse and you probably just had heat exhaustion. He sure hopes so… 

For a few hours he sits in the waiting room as he awaits the arrival of your parents. They rushed over from your town, four hours away, and this definitely was not the impression he wanted to have on them. Head in his hands, he can’t help but worry about you.

You do wake up, eventually but he can’t see you until your parents arrive.

They take you back home. You’re walking and talking again, but as you shoot him a weak smile from over your shoulder, walking down the hall and out of the hospital, Jisung can’t help but feel that something has gone terribly wrong. 

-

He swears he’s never been so tired. 

Working at McDonald’s isn’t horrible, per se, it’s just different. But it definitely takes more out of him than soccer ever did. The second he walks into his room Jisung drops his backpack on the bean bag next to the door and almost collapses on his bed. Throwing his work cap on the floor, he runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone.

The best thing about coming home from work, is coming home to you.

He immediately fishes for his phone from his pocket and opens it to speed dial. Pressing on your contact, Jisung presses the phone to his ear and waits for his girlfriend’s voice on the other end. The line picks up.

“Hey,” he says, a smile spreading over his lips without him even knowing. 

“Hi…” 

Something’s wrong. Your voice is missing its signature excitement, the snarkiness he had grown accustomed to. He sits up in bed, eyebrows furrowed. “Is everything okay?” 

Yes, you’re supposed to say. Everything’s fine. Everything’s just peachy.

But you don’t. “I got a call from the hospital.”

After you had fainted the other day playing soccer with him, the hospital had run a few tests to make sure you were okay. He knew this, you both did. They were supposed to say that you had been dehydrated, that you hadn’t eaten in a few hours. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Jisung…” 

“What, what is it?” 

There’s a momentary silence on the other side, then a shaky breath. “When I was ten… I got really sick. I was always having nosebleeds, always tired—some days I didn’t even want to get out of bed. They took me to the doctor and they told me that… I had leukemia.”

Jisung releases a heavy breath, staring into his sheets. No… don’t say it.

“I fought it for two years, and I beat it. God, it was… it was really hard, and I got through it. It’s been five years now but—but the hospital called and…” Please, no. “My cancer came back.”

Jisung’s never felt this way before; like all the air in his lungs have been pulled from his chest, lost to the universe. Not even when he sprinted across the soccer field, not even when he had gotten punched in the chest. All those times, his chest burned with fire, be it anger or passion. But now… his chest feels empty and hollow and numb. He manages to spit out a few words. 

It’s not supposed to be like this. You’re supposed to be okay, you’re supposed to go to prom together. Graduate. He’s supposed to get a soccer scholarship, you’re supposed to study journalism at the same school, and the long distance would cease to exist. You were supposed to be happy. “But it’s gonna be okay, right? You’ve fought it before, you can do it again.” Perhaps it was a bit selfish of him to ask for consolation when you were the one with the illness. But you were a journalist, never a liar. Your voice is weak, like you’ve already given up.

“I don’t know.”

-

“What’s up with you?” Chenle’s voice is almost worried, but Jisung wouldn’t be able to tell because his eyes are focused on the ground. He’s been kicking a soccer ball around with Chenle and Mark for a while now, but there’s clearly something very off about the teenager today.

“Yeah, is something wrong?” Mark asks.

Jisung blows some air into his cheeks. Should he tell them? It’s your private information but technically, you’re his girlfriend right? The news has been troubling him for a few days now, and he’s had no one to talk to. Surely, he can’t talk to his sister about it. 

He should just spit it out. “(Name) has cancer.”

It’s like the world stops, his friends taking in his words. “W-What? What did you just say?” Chenle speaks first, then Mark quickly follows. “Did you say (Name) has cancer?”

Keeping his gaze on the ground, Jisung nods and gives the ball a small kick in Mark’s direction. “Yeah. She had leukemia when she was younger, and… the other day she went to the hospital and they said that it came back. Her cancer came back.” When he looks up, both his friends are looking at him with genuine concern etched across their faces. 

“Seriously? Cancer? And you’re still dating her?” Mark asks, causing Jisung to raise an eyebrow in confusion. Did he just insinuate what he thinks he did?

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

Chenle speaks up next, trying to defuse the sudden tension. “Jisung, you guys have only been dating like, a couple months. It was just like yesterday that you kicked her in the head asking her out!” 

“And?” Jisung asks pointedly. Suddenly he’s in front of Chenle, and though he technically towers over the latter in height, Chenle’s chest is straight as he makes his point.

“Is it really worth it to stay on a sinking ship?”

Jisung’s voice reaches a new level of low, erupting from a place deep inside of him that he’s hidden away. It’s a place of rage, of anger sizzling and bubbling in his stomach. Suddenly they’re both chest to chest, unwilling to back down. “Now, I know you’re not talking about my girlfriend.” 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Mark interrupts, hands coming between them to tear the two boys apart. “Calm down. Both of you.”

“He started it,” accuses Jisung quickly, dark eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “My girlfriend is not a sinking ship. Neither is my relationship, and I don’t need you to comment on it.” He looks to Mark for guidance. Mark had always been the most logical one, the one he would look to for help, and though he thinks that Mark will agree with him, he almost looks guilty.

“But it’s true, Jisung. We’re worried about you. She’s just a girl. Is she really worth hurting yourself over?” He had trusted Mark to be on his side, but now Jisung just releases a scoff. He had been hoping for his friends’ support, but it seems like he’ll be going through this alone, then.

-

You’ve been avoiding him.

Of course, there’s not much that can be done to avoid him when you live hours away from each other. But you haven’t been responding to his texts, and when you do, they’re mostly short and taut. You’ve been cutting your phone calls short, often saying that you’re tired. Maybe you really are, but it hurts hearing the line cut off, not knowing how you’re really feeling.

Jisung can’t help but feel like he’s failing. He should be doing better.

It’s like your relationship is an hourglass, running out of time with every day that he spends going to school, work, or soccer practice. Like you’re getting further and further away with each short text message.

His entire life has been spent running. Speeding forward center field like a lightning bolt, long legs carrying him far ahead everyone else. But for the first time, Jisung feels like he’s falling behind.

-

It only takes a three hour bus ride (four, with the added stops) but in Jisung’s mind, it’s all worth it. It won’t be the first time he’s gone over to your house, but it is indeed the first he’s ever showed up unannounced, which is a strange appearance given that he lives three hours away. But with everything happening, he’s willing to give up the day and six hours worth of travel for you.

Sitting on the bus, he pulls out his phone. It’s early, like nine in the morning, but he knows you have a doctor’s appointment in a few hours so you’re definitely awake. He presses the facetime button, but you quickly reject his call. His eyebrows furrow, but lighten with an incoming text from you.

[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : jisung, i’m using the bathroom rn. call you back in a bit.

He nearly rolls his eyes, but it’s a sweet one. You’re always so candid.

[ message to : (Name) ♡ ] : you act like you’ve never facetimed me on the toilet before.

[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : wow, call me out more why don’t you

[ message to : (Name) ♡ ] : pick up my call, brat ♡

[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : no, You pick up My call :p

Seconds later, his phone is lit up with an incoming facetime screen. A laugh almost leaves him at your tenacity before accepting the call.

The call opens up to the visual of his girlfriend, you in your PJs fixing the phone up against the mirror in the bathroom. He sees himself reflected in the mini screen, hoodie on and earbuds in wearing a boyish grin. “Hey pretty girl. Make sure you wash your hands.”

You roll your eyes at his remarks. “Hey ugly boy. I’m already doing that. What are you doing?”

“Just making sure, because I don’t think you brushed your teeth after you fell asleep on call the other night,” he teases, clicking his tongue as you’re the only person he can tease so easily. “I’m on the bus to practice.” A lie, but a white one at that. “What are you up to?”

You wack your still dry toothbrush in front of the camera, nose scrunching up in the slightest. It’s a habit of his that you’ve picked up. “I’m also doing that right now.” You wet the brush, putting some toothpaste on it. “I thought you didn’t have practice this Friday? Or was that next Friday?”

Your actions bring a low laugh to his lips, and his eyes momentarily focus on the passing landscape outside the bus window as he’s now three hours out of his normal perimeter. “Uh, Coach wanted to add in a practice today. Don’t you have a doctor’s appointment today?”

You nod at his answer, toothbrush in mouth. “I do, I think it’s like, in a hour or something.”

“Oh, okay,” he replies simply as the bus comes to a stop, your house only a short walk away. He stands, gathering his bag. “Gotta go, but I’ll talk to you in a bit, pumpkin honeysuckle,” he snorts, making his way to the front of the bus. 

Your brows furrow as you give him a disapproving look through the screen, shaking your head slightly before moving to rinse your mouth. “Talk to you soon, don’t get hurt at practice or I’ll fight you.”

He scoffs as he steps out of the bus, into your neighborhood. “Like you could take me. Later.” You probably could, given your determination, but he gives you a nose scrunch before ending the call. He’s only taken a few steps when his phone rings with a text message.

[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : you and i both know i could take you :)

A snort leaves him. Classic (Name).

When he arrives a few minutes later, he hesitates at the door, only praying that the person who opens up is you, not your parents or god forbid, your brother. It only takes a few hard knocks before he hears your voice on the other side, determined to see just who the hell had the nerve to interrupt your laziness this early in the morning. “Who the fu—”

He tsk’s in distaste. He shouldn’t have been surprised that the first words to leave his girlfriend’s mouth are cuss words. “You potty mouth. I thought you’d be happy to see me,” he says, opening his arms.

Jisung’s not quite sure what he expected. For you to jump in his arms? What a delusional boy. You blink for a few seconds, then suddenly you’re throwing yourself at him, fist first to land a deserved punch to his arm. “I thought you had practice? What are you doing here and why do you look so much cuter than when I last saw you?” 

“Well, I lied,” he snickers, patting your head. “I’m here to annoy you, obviously. But you look too. For a—” A person dying of cancer, but he can’t say it. He won’t. “—person who barely got up twenty minutes ago.”

Your hand immediately begins rubbing the spot that your fist landed, worried that it might actually bruise in a bit. Jisung asks, “So are you gonna invite me in, or?”

“What are you, a vampire or something? I’m pretty sure you weren’t given permission when you entered my heart so just come in and cuddle me before my appointment.” 

Your response catches him off guard so he blinks before entering in silently, sticking his hands back into the loose fitting pocket of his hoodie. Even after six months, he’s still not used to you saying those kinds of things. Hell, he still gets sweaty holding your hand.

“Hey Mom! Dad!” You’re grabbing onto his arm, tugging him into the kitchen. “Jisung’s here!”

-

After a small breakfast and conversation with your parents, he’s given the permission to go with you to your doctor’s appointment. The two of you take the bus, hands interlaced as you sit, and Jisung smiles awkwardly when an elderly woman compliments the two of you, calling you a cute couple. 

He’s never really been in a hospital before. 

For an arduous soccer player, he’s lucky enough to never have suffered a pain great enough to warrant a visit to the hospital, nor had he ever been sickly enough to send him there. It’s for that reason that he feels slightly out of place, tucked in his hoodie whilst trying his best not to gaze at the others in the waiting room. Instead, he tries to keep his gaze focused upon his girlfriend as you remain bright despite their surroundings. Your hands intertwined, he feels a comfortable warmth seeping into his veins, gold in color and feeling. Gold like the ring on your finger, and like your heart. 

He’s so lucky to have you.

“I don’t really have anything planned,” he says softly, giving your hand a slight squeeze. It’s true that your itinerary is next to nonexistent for this impromptu date, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. If anything, a hospital is a strange starting destination for a date but your relationship is a bit strange. Quietly, he says to you, voice low in the hopes that no one overhears, “Don’t hospitals scare you?”

He knows that you spent a good portion of your time here; surely you must have grown accustomed to it, but Jisung was not. Hospitals were cold… white and bleak and much too quiet.

“Nah, not really,” you answer with a shake of your head. “Except for all the souls wandering around.”

Jisung blinks. “Souls?” He gulps.

“Yup. The souls of the passing.” You click your tongue, along with a wink in his direction now that you’ve successfully managed to creep him out. Do you ever stop making jokes?

The door to the waiting room opens and a medical assistant calls your name. “Hey, I’ll be right back,” you tell him, standing and releasing his arm. He gives a hesitant nod, watching as you leave through the door and disappear down the hall. 

When you emerge, some forty-five minutes later, the mirth is gone from your eyes.

He knows right away: you didn’t get good news. His heart is pumping in his chest, like he’s waiting for you to collapse right there. Years could pass, and Jisung swears he’d never be able to erase that memory of you. “Are you—” Okay, he wants to ask. But you just give him a small smile and shake your head. It’s not the time. He cuts himself short, reaching a hand out to you with a small, albeit forced, smile. “Let’s go on our date.”

-

It’s a long afternoon, spent in the arcade where you had had your first date—this time, for memory’s sake, he gets another ring from the claw machine—then McDonald’s and ice cream. He treats you to lunch, courtesy of his employee discount, and the entire day is filled with laughter and mutual teasing. Everything feels like it’s okay again. 

Jisung enjoys these moments the most.

The moments where he doesn’t feel like he has to be anybody: not the star soccer player, not the kind understanding younger brother, or a kid trying to look grown up at an adult party. With him he’s just you, awkwardness and quirks altogether. You’ve never hid yourself from him, and now he doesn’t have to hide himself either.

Now that the day is touching evening, the two of you sit at a park, relaxing mindlessly on the swings next to each other. Now that the romantic buzz is gone, the two of you have fallen into a comfortable silence.

“Thanks for coming this far, Ji. This was… nice.”

A small smile spreads over his lips. “It was nothing. I wanted to do it for a long time.”

“No, really,” you say, turning to him with a thankful smile. Your eyes are serious now, and Jisung feels the sunlight seep into his skin. “I really missed you.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. This moment feels heavy, like he’ll remember it for years to come. “... I missed you too. A lot.” You both turn back to face the sunset, watching the sun fade behind a hill. It’s setting, streaks of gentle reds and soft-spoken oranges staining the empyrean firmament. It’s then that Jisung feels his heart begin to sink, like the sun, into the pit of his stomach.

“Are you scared?”

A moment passes without you saying anything, then you speak up beside him. “Not really. I mean, it’s just the hospital. The only thing that’ll suck is not being able to leave. I never thought I’d say it but, I’m really gonna miss going to school.”

Did you think you were never going to return? “Are your chances good?”

The implications from earlier at the hospital return. What are the chances that things aren’t looking up? “They say so,” you breath out.

That’s not good enough. Anything could happen. Jisung needs clarification, confirmation. He doesn’t want to lose you. “What if you—”

“I might.”

A beat of silence.

Jisung feels like crying. It gathers in the back of his throat. “What would I do without you?”

There it is: the implication that you’ll be gone. That one day, Jisung will have to wake up and face a world without you in it, a world with less happiness and less passion. A world where there isn’t someone who will call him ugly when really they think he’s the cutest to walk to the earth, or where there isn’t someone to make fun of him the way you do. A world with less love. 

Your voice is dry as you speak. 

“You’d move on.”

“I don’t know if I’d ever love anyone like you,” he finds himself saying. 

“L-Love?” You suddenly say, voice the smallest he’s ever heard. You’ve always had the loudest voice, most prominent in his brain, but his words seem to have caught you off guard. “Do you? Love me?” 

He doesn’t know what love feels like. He’s just a teenager, what is he supposed to know about love? About loss? Is it all-consuming, like in the movies? Is it meant to hurt? “... I think I do. I think I love you.”

There’s a sniffle next to him, and he turns immediately, alarmed that he may have made you cry. There are tears in your eyes, but they don’t fall. Being a writer, you talk too much. Your words are eloquent and true, though sometimes Jisung has a hard time getting you to stop talking. But this time, you choose to abandon words altogether, instead leaving your swing to stand in front of him. Compelled by nature, he stands too. Instead of speaking, you reach upward on your tiptoes once more. Except this time, you kiss him. 

Your lips meet, and everything is golden.

And against the backdrop of the setting sun, it feels like the closing scene of Jisung’s very own romance movie. But this isn’t the end, he knows.

-

When he walks you home, he offers his sweater again. 

This time not out of obligation or the desire to appear more romantic than he is, but because you’re cold. Really cold. You’re shivering, arms wrapped around yourself not giving enough warmth.

“Here,” Jisung says, already beginning to take off his hoodie, but you stop him with a hand and a pointed look, though your chattering teeth cause you to stutter. “S-Still trying to woo me with cheap rom-com tricks?”

You’re stubborn. You’re so stubborn and he hates it.

“Just take it,” he says, pushing it into your arms. 

“No,” you argue. “You have a three hour ride home, it’s late and you’ll be cold.”

It’s obvious your illness has made you even more sensitive to the cold, and for that reason, Jisung’s fine facing the biting cold as long as you’re okay. “You’re freezing, please just take it.”

“Jisung, I said no.” Your voice is stern now, and he gets the feeling that he’s upset you. He gives up, gnawing on his bottom lip in deep thought. He just wants to make you feel better, doing what he thinks will help but with you, it never does. You’re so independent, too much so and much too stubborn to admit you need his help… “Fine,” he says before putting his hoodie back on. If you won’t take his warmth, then he’ll give it to you. 

He lifts his arm, placing it fully around your shoulders and pulling you to him so your bodies meet. “At least let me hold you,” he mumbles. Your frame freezes in his for a moment, until you wrap your arms around the circumference of his chest. 

Burying your face into his side, you relent into him. “Okay, fine.”

And later, he finds that you’re right. When he sits alone on the dimly lit train, he realizes that the warmth he had been feeling earlier, bathing in the sun’s rays with your lips, is long gone. All he feels now, is cold.

-

“You skipped practice the other day.” Jisung looks up from where he had been sitting on the bleachers, tying his shoes after practice. It had been a tough practice; he had missed quite a few passes and whiffed more than just a couple shots. He can only blame himself. He’s been distracted; alongside his worries about you, he also has a job to attend to and even more, the results for his dream school’s soccer scholarship is supposed to come out soon. His gaze falls on all six of his closest friends, looking down at him. 

“Yeah, something came up,” he says easily.

“More like, someone,” retorts Donghyuck easily. “We know you ditched to go see your girlfriend.”

“And what about it?”

“I don’t know what’s happened to you, man. You never want to play ball with us anymore, you don’t want to hang out with us. Whenever you invite you to a party, you raincheck. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore,” Chenle spits out, arms crossed over his chest.

“Chenle,” says Renjun carefully.

“No,” interrupts the boy in question. Chenle looks straight at Jisung, who stands now to meet the others’ heights. “He needs to hear this. Ever since that girl came around, it’s like you’ve lost your way. You used to be all about soccer and friendship. Now you always have her on your mind, and—did you see the way you played earlier?—she’s messing you up. Your head’s not on straight.”

“Chenle, stop.” Donghyuck speaks up now, voice low as he tries to stop the younger from going off. “You’re not the same Jisung I met in peewee camp, and I don’t know if I like who I’m seeing,” Chenle finishes. 

That’s enough for him. His voice comes out before he can stop it.

“You know why I never party with you anymore?” Jisung suddenly says, voice booming and clearly at his limit. “Because I’ve always hated partying. Because I have a job now, and because I don’t want my sister to stay up worrying about me while I’m getting piss drunk. I hate drinking, I hate trying to look cool while actually looking fucking stupid, because I don’t know how I can even think about partying when my girlfriend is fucking dying.” 

A hearty scoff leaves his lips, as though he can’t even fathom the words he’s faced today. “You don’t even know me anymore? That’s where you’re wrong, because you never knew me. Not all of me. You only see me as the star player who’s gonna get you your win. She knows me, she knows all of me, and she doesn’t try to change me. Well, sorry that I’m not the same kid you met years ago who let everyone walk all over him. I thought you guys were my friends, but clearly you only want me around for as long as I can play.”

Those are the last fiery words to leave Jisung’s mouth before he turns on his heels, storming off the field and away from everyone else. He just needs to get out of here, away from everything before he ruins it. Mark and Hyuck follow after him, while Jeno and the rest hold Chenle back. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Mark says, ever level headed. “We know what you’re going through.”

Though he appreciates their concern, Jisung spits, “No, you don’t.”

Both of them stop walking, no longer chasing after him as Jisung pulls out his phone. 

A new email.

He immediately opens it, eyes glazing over the text.

Dear Jisung Park,

Thank you for applying to our university’s soccer scholarship. We reviewed every application with our utmost dedication and attention. Unfortunately, we regret to inform you that we cannot accept your application at this time. Our soccer program is one of the most competitive at this school, however we encourage you to reapp… 

What a load of shit. 

-

The past few weeks have been horrid. 

Soccer is as tense as ever, though Jisung would be lying if he said that his fight with Chenle didn’t fuel him to work even harder during practice. His job sucks, especially after someone spilled a bucket of old oil on him (it was cold, thank goodness but still gross nonetheless). So far he’s gotten another rejection. Who knew that getting into college would be this hard?

He wishes that he could say his relationship with you is the saving grace, but it’s really not. You’re in the hospital now, and the two of you have been talking less and less. Even now with his feud between his friends, he feels even more alone. Today when he calls, you sound even more tired than usual. 

“Hey, chocolate honeycomb bunny,” Jisung says, giving his absolute worst at giving a cringe-worthy nickname. It seems you’re too tired to even give a repulsed response. 

“Hey.” You’re quiet for a moment, only your breathing heard across the line. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much,” sighs Jisung, running a hand through his dark locks. “Just exhausted. My coworker is getting on my last nerve.”

“The same one you talked about last week?”

“Who spilled the dirty oil on me? Yeah,” he responds with a roll of his eyes. “We’ve both been working the same amount of time, I just want to know why he’s so slow to pick it up.”

It’s characteristic of you to agree, seeing as complaining is one of your favorite past times. But you don’t, voice only coming out softly across the call, “Maybe just give him some time.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know,” he sighs. “How about you? Are you feeling better?”

“About the same,” you respond truthfully. God, you sound so tired. He almost feels bad for making you talk to him when you clearly sound exhausted. “Any more results?” You ask, regarding his college acceptances.

“No,” he shakes his head. He doesn’t understand. He’s a good student, he’s done community service. Just what more do they want from him? “You said I was special, but I don’t think the colleges see that.” 

He can almost see your small smile in his mind. “You are special. Just ‘cause they don’t see it doesn’t you aren’t.”

“Eh, I don’t know,” Jisung says, playing with a loose thread on his bedsheet. 

What you say next catches him off guard. “Maybe we can both be college-less, together.”

“What?” He asks, brows tightening in confusion. “Didn’t you get into the journalism program at that one university?” He’s caught you. You’re silent on the line for a few long seconds, but the quiet is deafening for him.

“I did, but Jisung, I…” You hesitate. “I’m not going.”

“What do you mean you’re not going?” He asks.

“I… I don’t know if I want to.” In a small voice, you continue, “I don’t know that I’ll make it that long.” What are you saying? What are you implying? Heart racing, Jisung tries to decipher these words in his mind. To him, it just sounds like the end.

“You’re giving up already, I hear it in your voice.”

“I’m not,” you say, a broken promise. “I just… want to be prepared for the worst.”

“The worst isn’t coming. You’re going to get through this. You’re going to beat it. I know you are.” It becomes blatantly clear in this moment that the person Jisung is trying to convince, is himself. 

His pleas fall upon deaf ears, because you argue back in what seems like the strongest voice you’ve made in months. As though you’ve amassed all your remaining energy for this conversation. “I’m not a hero, Jisung. I’m not cut out for this. The doctors said it’s not looking good.” 

“Then prove them wrong. You’re gonna beat it.” 

“I don’t want to be the underdog either, Ji. You know I hate them.” What you say next has his blood boiling. “I don’t deserve it anyways, no one would want me to come back.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jisung raises his voice now, volume growing with each word.

“No one likes me,” you spit out across the line, and he doesn’t need to see you to imagine how incensed you are at the moment. “I’m rude, I’m loud, I cross boundaries and I say things that hurt without caring about who it touches. And before you yell at me that no one thinks of me like that, these are things I’ve heard from other people.” Your voice breaks, as does Jisung’s heart. “If this were a movie, no one would root for me to survive.” 

“I do,” Jisung says, voice strong. “I’m rooting for you. Every. Single. Day. And who cares about how other people see you? You’re rude? You’re crass? I like you because of those things, because you’re different from me. Am I not enough?”

“You’re different,” you relent, voice tired. “You’re the only one who matters. But I—“ You choke up. “I’m just tired of fighting. I don’t want to go to sleep every night not knowing if I’ll wake up the next morning. I want to be strong, and I want to face every day knowing that it could be my last… I don’t want to leave anything behind—”

“You’re not leaving,” he cuts in.

“—and I can’t go through every day letting you think that everything is okay, because they’re not. But I’m ready to let go, Ji. Because I’m happy with what I had, with what we had, and I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

Tears are falling down his cheeks now, suiciding off the surface of his face and staining his bed sheets. He doesn’t know if the tears are the result of sadness, anger, or the pain of loving someone the universe would never let him have, yet it hurts all the same. “But I love you! I told you that I loved you.”

“I love you too,” you cry, and the sound is heartbreaking. “But I just wish that were enough.”

A pregnant silence consumes both of you. All that can be heard is the sound of your mutual crying, along with your breathing that Jisung had learned to fall asleep to. When you speak again, your voice is steady. You had always been the stronger one. “I don’t think you should call anymore.” A few sniffles. He can’t even speak. “Goodbye, Jisung.”

Then the line dies.

-

It’s Christmastime. He knows it’s cold, probably even colder in the hospital where you are.

Now, Jisung knows you don’t want anything from him. You don’t want him around. In the past weeks he must have become someone even he wouldn’t want around. And though he gets the feeling that you’ll never need him again, he figures you could use a sweater. It’s nothing much, and really he thinks it could be better. 

A hoodie, not fit to your size but slightly larger because he knew you well enough to know you’d like it like that. On one sleeve, near the wrist, a patch of a soccer ball. He had learned how to sew it on himself. On the other, his initials. JS.

He sends it in the mail, in a box to the hospital with your name and room number on it. There’s no letter, nothing. Just his bare soul in the form of an oversized cotton hoodie. He’d send it himself, appearing at the door to your hospital bed, but something tells him he’s run out of things to say.

-

His phone rings at three in the morning. 

He knows what it means.

February 2nd, at 2:39AM. The world lost you. 

It would never be the same again, and neither would he.

-

Grief is an interesting thing, someone once told him. 

He doesn’t quite remember who it was, whether it was his sister comforting him after the death of their goldfish, the guidance counselor at his school giving him a required appointment after the passing of a student, or yourself. But as the hours go by, it feels more and more like a weight in his chest that has been sitting on a hollowed place in his heart. 

Grief is indescribable, and Jisung doesn’t know if this is because his limited seventeen year old vocabulary hasn’t collected enough fitting words to even begin to verbalize his emotions, or if because it really is indescribable. 

The first few days had been hell. 

He had almost become someone that he didn’t know, barely stepping out of bed and perhaps worrying his sister out of her mind. It was his way of ignoring the world, dissociating himself from the irrefutable truth that you weren’t really gone. You were still laying in bed, three hours away as usual, struggling but still fighting. If he could lay in bed, sleeping the days away and ignoring his text message condolences from his friends, he could pretend for some time that things were the way they were, eight months ago. 

Eight months before it.

Eight months before he lost you. Before your relationship, a burgeoning dandelion in the nook of spring. But dandelions represent rebirth, the reappearance of hope like a beacon after an arduous winter, and you would never have another spring. 

He could not pretend, because every morning the sun rose again, and he would have to reach his head out from the burrow of blankets he had buried himself in. He would need to face it for himself that he woke up, and you didn’t. His friends texted. His sister knocked on his door and begged him to eat, even going as far as to cook his favorite foods as a means to lure him from the darkness of his corner. He ate. But it was never the same. 

Messy bedheads, earbuds tucked in with muzak playing gently like the thrum of his heart which beat enough for the both of you, tear-stained pillow cases, knees to the chest, light failing to shine in through the blinds which remained closed, counting the seconds between each breath, dreaming insubordinate dreams. 

The first few days went like that. Empty.

Then he was angry.

Angry because the world had given him a love worth changing for, then ripped it from his inexperienced hands. He had never had anything in his life! Not a mother, not a father. Could he not have this one lily, this flower which sought to remind him of the fragility of life? And even more so, he was angry for you. You were a fire—you were a bottle of passion bursting at the seams, a well of untapped potential, a boldness which no one else could emulate—and the universe crushed you beneath its foot. 

And suddenly, the emptiness of your hollow space reflected upon him.

He should have been better, should have done more. A soccer ball proposition? A sweater? It was laughable; that was the least he could give? If only he had called, if only he hadn’t listened to you like the meek child he was, things could be better. 

And above all, he was sad. 

What would he do without you?

Moving on seemed useless. A light at the end of a dark tunnel which stretched for ages. An epiphany that you would never reach. 

He just hoped that it was not cold. That you left the world in a ball of light, surrounded in the warmth of family and love, not the rigidness of the unforgiving world. Perhaps it was selfish of him, but he hoped that the soccer ball sleeve had been clutched to your chest, and that his hoodie could have provided just a little bit of that warmth. 

-

The walking pattern outside his bedroom door is different from his sister’s. So is the knock on the door; his older sister’s is much more quiet, reserved, as though she was afraid to wake him. This one is harsh, and it reverberates through the room before the door opens.

The air in the room is still for a moment.

“Jisung.” 

It’s Chenle. And Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck, as well as Jaemin. They all take their seats either on the end of his bed, the floor, or his beanbag, but Jisung doesn’t move from his place underneath the blankets. 

“What do you want?” He manages to groan out in a small voice.

Someone places a hand on his leg, a comforting gesture. He thinks it’s Jaemin from the gentle touch. “We’re here for you.”

Donghyuck comments, “You haven’t been to practice this week.” Of course that would be what they would mention first. Jisung scoffs. “I’m kind of going through something.”

“And we’re here.” Mark’s voice.

“We wanted to apologize.” Chenle speaks now, and despite being best friends since they were five, he’s the last person Jisung expected to say sorry. In their decade-long friendship, Chenle was the confident one, the one who charged forward without consequence while Jisung trailed behind, cleaning up his mess. “We’ve been… assholes, simply put.” Had he been in higher spirits, Jisung would have snorted. “We thought we understood what you were going through, and we thought it was dumb. To let yourself get hurt over some random girl… but we were wrong. We didn’t understand your point of view.”

“Not even a little bit,” says Donghyuck, head hanging low. 

“Yeah, we’re supposed to be your friends. Your team! We’re supposed to lift you up when you’re down and… well, we haven’t been doing that. And we’re sorry. I’m sorry.” Chenle says. Slowly, Jisung lifts his head from below the blanket to face his friends. They all wear a variety of expressions, all somber. “And we know now… she’s not just some random girl.”

Yeah, they’ve all been assholes, some more than others, and Jisung can’t exactly say that they were any help in his struggle. But perhaps this was something he needed to go through alone. At the time, he needed you. But now… he just really needs his best friends. 

Tears sting at his eyes for the nth time. 

“Come here, you crybaby,” says Jaemin, opening his arms.

-

It’s Monday, meaning he has to go back to school today. He’s not ready, how could he be? It hasn’t even been a week since you… left, but he knows he has to go back. His sister, God bless her, had let him take the first few days off but now that the weekend has ended and school has rolled back around, he has no choice.

“You look like shit.”

Donghyuck has always lacked a filter. It would hurt if Jisung didn’t know that Donghyuck meant that in the best way possible. You look like shit, he says. So I’m glad you found it in you to come to school, is what he doesn’t say. 

Jisung closes his locker with a sigh. “Thanks.” 

“No problem,” snickers his friend, and Jisung turns his head to find Mark and Jaemin approaching. “Morning,” greets Jaemin as he taps the top of Jisung’s head, despite being shorter.

“Hi,” responds Jisung quietly, clutching his chemistry textbook to his chest. The three of them look at him with quiet and somber eyes, but don’t say anything. Mark places a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving it a small rub.

“You got this.” 

The truth is, he can’t do this. The world feels quiet and empty, lacking a particular passion that you used to always embody. It could be worse. Thank goodness your relationship was rather private; he doesn’t know how he’d be able to function at school had there been curious eyes on him, if you had gone to the same school as him. 

The day goes rather slowly, and Jisung busies himself with catching up on his work that he had missed. He could almost pretend like things are normal. It’s not until fifth period calculus that something strange happens. 

An office TA pokes her head in and scrambles over to the teacher, who was in the midst of a very enthralling lecture on integrals that Jisung was definitely not paying great attention to. The TA whispers something into the teacher’s ear, then hands her a piece of paper. Mrs. Huang nods, then suddenly Jisung finds her eyes on him. “Jisung, Mr. Moon wants you in his office.” 

Him? Why him of all people?

Mr. Moon is the guidance counselor at their school, and Jisung has a moment of internal panic—had he somehow found out about you? Should he prepare himself for a lecture about grief and moving on? 

With a gulp, he nods. 

Mr. Moon is a fairly nice man, with a friendly smile and a reputation for being a pushover teacher. Jisung had met with him a few months ago to discuss his desire to pursue a soccer scholarship but he highly doubts that’s the case now.

When Jisung enters Mr. Moon’s office, the first thing he sees isn’t Mr. Moon but a tall man with a stoic expression standing behind his desk. In contrast to the stranger, Mr. Moon wears his trademark smile. “Jisung, good to see you. Still getting a kick out of that old ball?” 

Of course, Mr. Moon doesn’t know that Jisung skipped practice all last week to mope in his bed, but Jisung nods politely. “Yes, sir.”

“Good,” responds the teacher with a smile. “Take a seat.”

He gestures to the chair in front of his desk, and cautiously does Jisung take a seat. The tall, bruff man is still standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, having not yet said a single word. Somehow the atmosphere is tense, and Jisung’s quite sure he knows what this is about. 

“Now, Jisung, I’ve called you in today because—”

“Is this about (Name)?” Perhaps it’s a bit rude of him, but Jisung doesn’t want to be prodded at, at least not by people who think they know him. The last thing he wants is pity. 

Mr. Moon’s eyebrow raises just the slightest, and he leans forward on his desk. “Why, yes, it is. How did you know?”

A scoff leaves Jisung’s lips, but it’s much weaker than he would like. “My question is, how did you know? Who told you?” Who was it that shared information on his personal life? Was it his sister? His friends? 

“Nobody had to tell me, Jisung. (Name) sent the letter to me herself.”

Wait… what? 

Jisung blinks, hands falling slack on his lap. “W-What? What letter?”

Perhaps his staring is a bit too obvious, for Mr. Moon gestures to the stranger in question with a hand. “Jisung, this is Johnny Seo.” Finally, the intimidating stranger has a name. “Johnny is the head coach of the soccer team at Greenwood University—” Wait, Greenwood University? That’s Jisung’s dream school—well, it was his dream school, until they rejected his application for a soccer scholarship. What would they want to do with him? “—and he wants to offer you a full-ride scholarship.”

What? 

Jisung’s mouth falls open. What? What the hell? Hadn’t they just rejected him three months ago? His eyes must be bugging out of his face, so he blinks repeatedly, trying to find the words to say. 

“W-Wait, what? A… A full ride?” He stammers, unable to find his tongue.

The man named Johnny only nods. “Full ride. Covered tuition, dorming, and soccer costs. All you have to do is keep your grades up and keep scoring those fancy goals of yours I’ve heard about.”

“But—But, you rejected me… why now?” 

For the first time, Johnny gives a small smile. “Because of the letter.” There it is, that letter again that Jisung has no idea about. He looks to Mr. Moon for guidance. All the counselor does is open his desk drawer and pull out an envelope, which he slides across his desk. “(Name) (Last Name) wrote a recommendation letter to the university, and honestly, it was stunning. It was enough to make the admissions board… bend a little, to say the least.” 

Reaching forward, Jisung grabs the envelope and examines it in his hands. It’s opened, but yes, on the front is your handwriting. He’s cried so much this past week that he doesn’t know how many times tears have touched his eyes, but they sting once more. This time, he doesn’t let them fall. 

“She… wrote a letter. For me?” 

“That she did,” responds Mr. Moon. 

“She’s right,” says Johnny suddenly. “In our work at the university, we’re always looking for the best of the best. We should look deeper, sometimes.” The words sink in the room, and Jisung finds himself staring down at the envelope in his hands. What things had you had to say about him?

Honestly, all he can think about is his failure. How he failed to be there for you, how he cowarded in your presence when you told him to leave you alone. He bites down on his lip. 

“So? Will you accept our offer?” 

Jisung looks up again, meeting Johnny’s expectant eyes. “I…” His mouth suddenly runs dry. “I don’t know, I… I need to think about it.”

“You’re not graduating for another four months. Take your time.” Slowly, still in glassy-eyed disbelief, Jisung nods. His fingers find the edge of the envelope, tracing its pointed edge. You wrote that for him. From across the desk, Mr. Moon speaks up. “You should read that letter, Jisung, and realize what’s coming for you: good things.” 

-

To Whom It May Concern,

Hello. My name is (Name) (Last Name), and I am a high school student writing this letter to appeal a rejection by your university. Not of my own application, but of an extraordinary person with the name Jisung Park. In my humble opinion, I believe that your institution has made a grave mistake in not offering a scholarship to Jisung. So, I write this letter to appeal such a rejection, and to do something that he hated, though it was what I always did best: write about Jisung. 

Now, Jisung is a humble person who never speaks up about his struggles, but the truth is that of all students, I believe he is the most in need of this scholarship. His parents passed when he was young, and he grew up in the care of his older sister who raised him. Their small but strong family made sacrifices, gave up luxuries, and endeavored to survive. 

In the midst of this crisis, Jisung found his one savior: soccer. 

He is, without a doubt, the best soccer player I have ever seen in my entire life. He can sprint across the field in half a normal player’s time, and I’ve never seen him miss a goal or a pass. But his soccer prowess isn’t what makes him great. Moreover, Jisung is the person you want on a team. He believes in teamwork, but is always striving to be better. He doesn’t want to stand out, but does so anyways. He is never arrogant, nor boastful. If there is one person who deserves this, it’s him.

But, I am sure that you are thinking: why should this letter mean anything to you? I’m not a highly valued individual in the community, nor have I done anything significant for my name to mean anything. I’m only a seventeen year old student, a struggling journalist. 

The answer to that question is, I know Jisung Park. You only see his grades, the shallow things on his application. You will never get to see the Jisung Park that I knew and loved. 

In my time alive, Jisung Park made an impact on my life that will never be forgotten. Even when life seemed the darkest, not a beam of light in the field's view, Jisung picked me up and made me see the sunset. I know now, the sunset is beautiful, warm, and comforting—everything that Jisung is. He never left my side, and never for a single moment did I ever feel alone in his presence. The world often overplays the saying “a heart of gold,” but the truth is that Jisung has one.

I used to think that love would be red, like the burning of one’s lungs racing down a soccer field, or black and white, made to be simple. But the truth is, love is golden. Golden like the sunset painting streaks against the floor, golden like Jisung. It’s a warmth that covers you from head to toe, relenting into a future that you don’t know. 

He is my golden boy, and he can be yours too. 

I may not have a future, but if there’s one thing that I know, it’s that Jisung deserves one. 

I’m a journalist. I don’t write love letters, but perhaps this is the closest I can ever get. And should Jisung ever read this letter, I hope he knows that with this, I dedicated my last spark of sunlight to him. 

Sincerely,

(Name) (Last Name)

-

Your funeral occurs on February 13th, a week and four days after your passing. 

Jisung stands in front of the bathroom mirror, nose scrunched in concentration as he makes a feeble attempt on his necktie. This is surely not as easy as throwing on a soccer jersey. “Ugh,” he groans, fingers getting confused again.

“Need help?”

His sister’s dainty voice calls him from the bathroom door. Dressed in all black, she’s ready too. Turning his head, Jisung sighs. “Please.” She makes his way toward him, fingers coming to work on his tie already with steady hands. 

“You’re too tall now,” she says softly, with a chuckle. It’s true; he used to look up to her, physically and figuratively, but now he’s an entire head above her. “You’ve grown up a lot.” 

It was his eighteenth birthday just a few days ago but to be quite honest, he hadn’t had the heart to celebrate it. If anything, he had always thought that his eighteenth birthday would be like an epiphany for him. As though he would wake up the morning of, feeling like an adult with all the answers to the world.

The truth is, he’s eighteen now and he still feels like he has no idea what he’s doing. 

“I don’t feel any different,” he admits. “I thought eighteen would mean something.”

“You’ll get there, trust me. And anyways, I always told you not to grow up too fast.”

For a moment there’s a silence as his sister swoops the tie in and out, weaving it to form the perfect knot. Feeling something scratch at the back of his throat, Jisung speaks. “... I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for, silly? I was the one who never taught you how to knot a necktie,” she chuckles. 

“Not for that,” he says. “For last week. I… probably scared you.”

Suddenly, his sister is wearing that demure smile of hers again. The one that is small and polite, but always seems to carry more weight in it than he can see. “No. It’s okay, I knew you’d be better.” 

Naeun finally finishes the knot, tightening it the slightest around Jisung’s neck. “There you go.” He offers her a small thanks as he turns to look in the mirror, and she begins to leave. A sigh leaves him; there’s no avoiding it now, he’s ready to go.

“You know, Jisung,” she suddenly speaks up from the doorway. “I’m glad that you met her. Even if it ended up like this… you’re different. In a good way, and I think she had a lot to do with it. Even if you don’t feel different… you are.”

-

In the months of your relationship, Jisung had come to learn your insecurities. You were loud and proud, but with that confidence came an unwavering insecurity that you were unliked by those you spilled your tongue to. At the funeral, Jisung sees that that’s not at all true.

People give speeches for you, place flowers on your grave. The school newspaper had even written an article to commemorate your presence on their team, and the president of the club reads it aloud. A number of hospital staff make their appearance.

Even Jisung’s friends show up, despite the clear memory of them calling you crazy early on. Maybe they were right, maybe you were crazy. But he probably was too.

It doesn’t rain a single drop, though it had been pouring for three days before. Instead, the sun peeks through the overcast clouds, gifting sunshine. 

Jisung smiles. 

He probably looks like an idiot, carrying the soccer ball around the entire funeral but he knows what it means to him, and what it means to you. When he places it on your grave, the grass still fresh, his eyes catch the carefully written words on a singular white spot.

I love you. 

He knows that he means it. 

At eighteen, there a lot of things that Jisung still doesn’t know. But even so, there are a handful of truths that he can hold onto forever. One, he’s still an incredible soccer player and girls are still very scary. But like soccer, maybe that just takes time and practice. 

Two, growing up isn’t about a number. It’s not about partying or drinking, nor is it about rushing into relationships that have little meaning. For years Jisung had wanted to grow up, to face the world with no fears and be able to cruise through. But he knows now that growing up is about being strong in the face of sadness, pain, grief. About waking up every morning even if you feel like you have no reason to. 

Love is the same.

Love isn’t about making out on the bleachers after practice or trying to copy the coy clichés seen in romance movies. It’s about the sacrifices, like four hour bus rides. It’s about communication and connection, like a recommendation letter traced in gold. Because of you, he’s moving forward. He can go to college, and the day will never come when he stops being grateful toward you and everything you’ve done. That’s love, and he will spend the rest of his life loving you. Maybe the love will change but it will always be love. 

It hurts that you’re gone, it really does. Jisung doesn’t think it’ll ever stop hurting.

But the last thing he knows is that things will be okay.

Life moves on, and he will too. 

[seriouslysnape]

The Underdog

James Potter x Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Language, Implications of smut.

Word Count: 1,090

“I told you that we’re done for the night.”

“Jamesie.” You lulled out, reaching for the brunette looking down at you from where he was standing at the side of the bed.

He could see the bleary haze over your eyes and the blubbering giggles were an indication that you were deep in a subspace. You were stretched out on your back, sunken into the mattress. Based on your current disheveled state, someone had rocked you senseless. You were much further gone than usual, the incoherent babbles flowing from your mouth made that very, very clear.

“What the hell, Pads?” James said to Sirius, who was standing on the other side of the bed; “What’d you do to her, mate?”

Sirius’ eyes went wide, and he threw his hands up in defense.

“It wasn’t me! It was-”

“Remy!” You shrilled when the third marauder entered the dorm from the washroom.

His shirt was missing, and the only “clothing” he was wearing was a towel wrapped around his waist. A river of steam and heat escaped the connected bathroom when he opened the door, his bright smile appearing on his fresh face. 

“Hi, baby girl,” He greeted, padding over next to Sirius to pick out some clean clothes; “Did you tell the other boys how good you were for me?”

James’ head snapped in Remus’ direction, his jaw falling slightly ajar. James and Sirius had always considered Remus the less skilled and experienced one in this relationship. Not that he wasn’t any good; quite the opposite, actually. It was just that Remus was always a bit softer and gentler, and usually took the longest to make you cum. 

He was kind of like the underdog.

He was a different kind of lover in comparison to James and Sirius. Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off of you, shocked that Remus had single-handedly worked you into a subspace further than any of them had combined.

You ignored Remus’ question, sitting up abruptly and rising to your wobbly knees.

“Daddy, please one more?” You begged Remus, who had slipped on a shirt and sweats.

“No, not Daddy. It’s Remus now, princess,” He mewled, running the pad of his thumb along your cheekbone; “I told you that we’re done for the night.”

You stuck out your bottom lip in protest, suddenly turning and flinging yourself at Sirius, who caught your leap and held you close.

“Siri, Daddy won’t let me cum again.” You whined, hoping to get Sirius to convince him or do it himself.

Sirius was starstruck, taken aback by this entire situation. Remus has asked Sirius and James earlier that morning if he could have you to himself for a few hours. It wasn’t exactly ideal, but every once in a while they boys would agree to let one of them have you to himself for a little bit. James and Sirius surely didn’t expect this.

“Well, how many times did you cum?” Sirius asked the question that he knew James had been thinking as well.

Remus was facing the wall as he dug around in his trunk for something, shielding his prideful smirk. He had never been one to brag.

“Uh...six.” You murmured.

Sirius and James both went rigid.

“Six?!” They echoed one another.

It seemed like an ungodly number, considering that James’ personal record was four and Sirius’ was five. This was one of the reasons that the boys kept the whole “having you to one man for himself” thing rare. It stirred up jealousy from time to time and caused heated competition. The three of them hated that because then you felt like you were just being used for points, which was NOT the case.

“Mmhm. I want it to be seven, but Daddy’s being mean.” You huffed, slouching away from Sirius when you realized that no one was going to satisfy you again.

“It’s Remus, [Y/N]. Not Daddy,” He reminded you, joining you and James on the bed; “I’m not being mean. You’re just already too far gone. You gotta come back for me, lovebug.”

You crawled into Remus’ lap, snuggling him and sighing when he peppered kisses over you.

“What did you do?” James asked his previous question again, but to Remus this time.

“I fucked her.” Remus replied, looking down at the girl curled up to him and stroking your hair.

“Well, obviously, but Prongs means how did you-” Sirius went to ask, but was cut off by Remus.

“I can’t give away all my secrets. I’m allowed to have my own way of making her feel good, can’t I?” Remus asked in a general sense, but really was addressing you.

You nodded with a sleepy grin, and life was beginning to return to your eyes. The four of you sat in silence, half of it from shock and half from contentment. Sirius and James were knocked silent, totally unsure of what to even say or ask. Eventually, you were the one to speak up.

“Remus?” You called out.

He smiled at you.

“Atta girl,” He praised; “What is it, angel?”

“I want to go to bed.” You told him, hoping the other boys were ready to shut down for the night.

Remus nodded, allowing you to sit up from his chest.

“Do you want to get in bed with Pads or Prongs?” He asked, thinking you’d want one of them since you had been with him alone all afternoon and evening.

The other two perked up, hoping that you’d pick them. But they were both disappointed when you denied either.

“I wanna sleep with you.” You alerted Remus.

“Not tonight. You need to let the other boys spend time with you,” He pointed out; “It wouldn’t be very fair if I had you all the time, right?”

You mumbled in disapproval, looking to Sirius. 

“Can I sleep with you?” You questioned.

He grinned proudly, throwing a boastful look at James who was feeling very left out. Oh, well. He’d have his moment tomorrow.

“Sure. You don’t have to ask.” He said, guiding you up from Remus’ bed.

You gave Remus a swift kiss in one last attempt to get him to change his mind.

“Goodnight, Rem.” You batted your lashes.

He only returned you with another kiss, waving you off to go to Sirius’ bed across the room. You got under the sheets with Sirius, leaving a few chaste kisses along his jawline while you got settled. His voice was low and rumbling in your ear, saying one final thing before you went to sleep.

“Next time, I’ll make you cum seven times.”

[jairights]

❦ LAWLESS: ONE

content warning: noncon, cursing, violence, manipulation, possessiveness, jealousy, humiliation, overstimulation, explicit sexual contents, gangbang, mentions of killing, traumatic events, sensitive topics, drugs, self-harm, detailed smut, dark content.

reader is 18 and mikey is 28

english is not my first language, expect typographical and grammatical error.

all chapters on masterlist.

minors dni.

Y/N

I entered our cell room, we're about to have dinner when the Chief called me earlier telling me I'll be free tomorrow... bad news.

After assaulting some middle schoolers who didn't gave me money, I was send here in juvie. At first, I didn't like it... but this place is better than living outside.

My cell mates are just eating casually on our mini-table. I sat on the free space and flip the table up, spilling all the food on the floor with a loud thud. Looking dense like it's the normal thing to do.

"This bitch lose her mind again." Erin, one of my cell mate said.

I always annoy them whenever I am bored. Well... it's really boring here.

Shie, my other cell mate, stood up and went to me. "Hey, what's your problem? Huh?" She said slapping me lightly multiple times.

"I will be free tomorrow." I told them sadly.

Kia, also a cell mate, laughed. "Why? Are you bragging about it? Glad you'll be gone."

"No... don't wanna go out." I said blankly looking at them.

All of them surround me aside from Haru, also a cellmate, who's just watching us. "Let her be, she's picking a fight so she can stay here more." She said.

I nod lightly. Puppy eyes at them so we can make a chaos tonight when the officers starts their rounds.

The four of them starts cleaning the floor while I am looking at them blankly, sucking my teeth because of boredom. Blinking slowly thinking how my plan failed, they should be throwing punches right now like they always did.

"What should we eat now? We'll be hungry later because of that dumbass." Kia said looking at me.

"Let her be... if we fight back it might add up to our sentence." Erin said rolling her eyes at me.

Shie is about to take the mop beside me but I grabbed it first. "Give it to me, you already hit my nerve earlier." She said.

Among all of them, Shie is the easiest to get annoyed. She doesn't like defeat so she always fight back.

I kick the wooden stick of the map breaking it and hit Shie in her side stomach. The other's mouth gaped and she starts groaning in pain while glaring at me.

I smiled at her. "You slapped me several times earlier so..." I said and hit her again.

As expected she fight back. All of them come at me, letting out every annoyance they felt since earlier when I flipped our food.

Hitting them with one stick is not enough. They keep on landing hit on me with their punches. Four versus one is not so fair. I climbed up onto the mini-table and swing the stick, making them back off a little. I break the stick in two, holding one each hand.

"You fuckers are dead tonight." I told them and giggled.

I began hitting them again in every part I can. Damn, it's tiring. I've fought with them a lot, almost everyday but today we are going all out since this might be my last day.

Haru managed to grab my hair while I am busy hitting Kia and Erin.

"Fuck you!" I shouted while she pulled my hair.

I hit Erin's head with a stick and she fell losing consciousness. One down...

Haru is still pulling my hair behind me so I pushed her by walking backwards. Letting her back hit the stoned wall with forced, she groaned and I elbowed her stomach. She kneeled in pain, damn weaks. Two down.

I looked at Kia and Shie, they are shocked by what just happened. I threw them the sticks and tied my hair. "Use that as a weapon, come at me at once." I beckoned them.

Both of them didn't take the stick. "Weapons are for the weaks." Shie smirked.

Kia come at me landing a punch on my cheek and I kicked her stomach. I turned to Shie, she greeted me with her fist. Kia who's behind me, headlock me with her thin arms.

"And what do you call with people who can't fight alone?" I asked smiling and choking in Kia's arm.

"I don't know, ask yourself... you've been alone for a long time." Shie answered and punch my stomach.

"We don't experience being alone, we have each other." Kia told me.

"That's why you guys followed each other here in juvie." I laughed. "Weaklings."

Lifting both of my feet forcefully, Shie back off a little. I hold Kia's arm on my neck and bend down with all my strength lifting her up. Her arms loosened up by the sudden force, I threw her on the floor flipping her up. That's make it three.

Shie starts taking care of Kia who's crying in pain on the floor. I put my foot on Shie's shoulder and pushed her to the ground, she glared at me while trying to remove my foot.

"See? If you didn't check on her I won't get you like this." I grinned.

And four. K.O!

An officer in charge of walking rounds, around the cell at night saw the mess in our room. My face lightened and peace sign at him. I was caught, mission success!

I was brought to a different cell, a room with no lights, no bed, no anything. Just floor and a window lighting the room with the moonlight. I spend the night here hugging my knees in coldness. Alone.

"I heard you cause a mess last night?" The Chief asked.

I rolled my eyes. I am now at the Chief's office after spending the night at a cold room.

"You did that since you don't want to go out but you already serve your six months sentence." He poured hot water on his tea. "I heard it's your birthday tomorrow, congratulations you'll turn 18." He said.

I rolled my eyes again. "I wanna spend my birthday here, sir." I told him.

He turned to me confusely. "Did you lost some screws in your head? Why do you want to stay in the juvie that bad?" He asked.

"If I go outside, I don't have a place to sleep." I looked at him blankly. "I will assault someone again and come back here. Trials are tiring, hearing people arguing when I don't give a fuck, so let me stay here." I plead.

He sips on his tea and leaned back on the couch. "You are frustrating... if you did it again, you will be in jail not here. You'll be 18, remember?" A sigh left his chest. "Take her out, she's free today anyway." He told the officers near his office's door.

I pulled my arms away when the officers hold me. "I can walk alone, don't touch me."

"Hey..." the Chief called my attention. "Live your life for the better... you are still young and has a lot of time to enjoy it."

I looked at him disgustingly, cringing by the words he just said. "Nope... I'll die at 20." I let out my tongue teasing him childishly.

I sighed and walk out of the juvie. Other people would be glad going out from jail or juvie but not me. I don't have a place outside.

I pulled up my hoodie wearing it and put down my skateboard. Damn, I miss riding this.

A lunatic woman suddenly hold my arms.

"Y/N?"

no mikey yet :( thank u for my friends for letting me use their names.

do not repost!

[maybestoryideas]

Babysitting Skid & Pump w/ Agoti and Tabi

How They Met

In a momentary lapse of your infinite wisdom and judgement, you accidentally scheduled to meet up with Agoti and Tabi on the same day you offered to watch over the Skid and Pump for Lila. Apparently she had to leave town for the day, and the kids had been getting in more trouble than usual.

You were getting ready to leave for Lila’s, only to be met with a screen demon and floating skull when you opened your front door.

After explaining the situation to them, you promised to hang out some other day, when you wouldn’t be busy. Somehow, Agoti interpreted this as an invitation to join you and help babysit, which is the exact opposite of what you were implying.

You were more than a little worried about Skid and Pump meeting your friends. The kids could be quite the handful sometimes, and your friends were prone to… outbursts.

“Hey, Tabi! I didn’t know you had a little brother.”

“Shut the fu-“

“Language.”

When Skid and Pump see Agoti and Tabi, they’re instantly attached.

“Skid, Pump, these are my friends, and they were just leaving.”

“I like your spooky masks!”

“Um, thanks… Why are you two wearing costumes?”

“It is the spooky month!”

“It’s 90 degrees outside.”

“Wanna see something really cool?”

Agoti then proceeds to get down on the sidewalk and start doing push-ups with his tongue. Skid and Pump are instantly impressed.

“Your spooky friend is so cool!”

“They think I’m cool. Whaddya say about that?”

“I say you just licked a public sidewalk and probably need to go to a hospital.”

“Can Agoti and Tabi hang out with us today? Please?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure they have very important adult things to do and need to get going.”

“Not really.”

“Dang-it.”

“Please???”

Skid, Pump, AND Agoti are at your legs, staring up at you with big begging eyes. Tabi is standing behind them with secondhand embarrassment.

“F-Fine!”

“Yay!”

Agoti is constantly bragging and being a show-off for the kids; he’s playing it up more than normal. Meanwhile Tabi’s being a lot more chill, vaguely answering any questions the kids have about him.

“You’re so good a video games!”

“Yeah, I’m a bit of a celebrity. I actually got so famous that these jerks tried to get rid of me. Obviously it didn’t work, though, and blah blah bla-blah blah…”

“Are you a ghost?”

“My body’s invisible. It’s a long story.”

Skid and Pump try to teach them the Spooky Dance. Emphasis on ‘try’.

“How are you moving your arms that quickly?!”

“I feel like an idiot.”

Meanwhile, you’re recording all of it on your phone. Haha! Blackmail.

You spent the day playing video games, watching TV, and hanging around the house.

So, at the end of the day, it wasn’t a total disaster.

Together

After Agoti and Tabi showed that they can act like decent people in front of kids, you agreed to let them join you whenever you’re babysitting.

You thought having three adults keeping track of two kids would make things easier, but they somehow manage to get into more trouble between the four of them.

“You’re supposed to the mature ones! How do you manage to cause this much trouble? On accident?!”

You always end up having to be the ‘Mom-friend’, but it rarely does any good.

“Let’s go to the spooky forest.”

“Yeah! Let’s go!”

“Let’s… not?”

“Let’s put it to a vote! Who wants to go into the cool spooky, haunted, abandoned forest?”

[Three hands immediately go up, followed by a fourth]

“And who wants to stay home and be boring?”

[One awkward hand goes up]

To be fair, Tabi at least tries to be a responsible adult, so it balances out Agoti’s chaotic enabling.

They once took everyone to Zardy’s maze. Never. Ever. Again.

“You’re going to get us lost, just like last time!”

“That was your fault! I knew exactly where we were going, but you kept taking us in the wrong direction!”

“Guys, we haven’t even gone into the maze yet. Look, the sign’s right behind yo-”

*angry SEGA Genesis and angry Russian noises intensify*

You decided to take Skid and Pump through the maze, and just left the two screaming outside the entrance. When you finally got to the end, they were still screaming. Not at each other, but at a scarecrow.

They’re a lot more well-behaved when you’re just hanging around town. Probably because otherwise they’d have to deal with police and witnesses.

If any shady creeps approach your group, Agoti and Tabi will stand right behind Skid and Pump, silently threatening until they back off.

They also do it whenever the Hatzgang starts picking on Skid and Pump, though they tone it down since Roy and his friends are still teenagers.

“Hey kid. You’re not causing trouble for my friends here, right?”

“N-No, sir! We’re just… kidding around. Oh God, please don’t kill me!”

For one Halloween, Skid and Pump dressed up as Tabi and Agoti.

“Aw! You two are look so cool and spooky!”

“How come you never call us cool and spooky?”

“Skid and Pump are cute kids. You two are public menaces.”

You frequently visit the candy store at the end of the day. On the off chance that there’s something the kids want but can’t get, Agoti will pay for it or bribe Kevin to look the other way. Sometimes it doesn’t work and then Tabi will threaten to demolish the store. That always works. You’ve started forcing them to wait outside the store while you buy everything yourself.

Even though Agoti and Tabi’s chaotic personalities feed into Skid and Pump’s mischievous behavior, you can tell that they genuinely like the kids, and you’re happy they get along well. Sometimes.

“Pump, where did you learn that word?”

“I heard Agoti shouting it when he was playing video games.”

“I thought so.”

Meanwhile

“Hm…”

“What’s up, dude?”

“I don’t why, but I think [Name’s] gonna kick my ass tomorrow.”

(Thanks for reading! Please give me things to write about?)

[crimsonkenjii-writes]

KNY Pillars and Their Love Languages

Just thought this would be a cute thing to write so here you go! Hope you enjoy :)

My requests are open at the moment so go ahead and read my rules and request some stuff! ♡

Spoiler Free!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Giyuu: words of affirmation, gift giving, acts of service

He’d be very shy at first but I feel like the longer he spends time with you, the more comfortable he gets and starts showering you with lots of lovely words. He’d struggle saying “I love you” I think, but I feel with time, he’d being able to tell you how beautiful you are everyday. He’d also say you’re very important to him and how he never wants to lose you or leave your side. And that’s his way of saying “I love you” instead.

He’d definitely start out with lots of gifts and acts of service since they didn’t involve words and touch. Give him some time, he’ll open up and you won’t regret it :)

He’d definitely buy you things he sees on his missions that remind him of you and buy you a lot of pretty things as well. I can see him getting you quiet a bit of clothing and jewelry/accessories and stuff because he’d just imagine you in them and blush so much that he’d just have to get them to see you in it

Shinobu: acts of service, words of affirmation

She’d definitely act very caring and motherly so she’d do lots of acts of service for you. She’d make you food, tidy up a lot, do chores when you’re feeling a bit lazy that day, and she’d probably open up more and start showing lots of physical touch

I feel her words of affirmation would be a lot of encouragement. She’d always remind you how amazing you are, how great you did that day and how proud she is of you. She’d also probably tease you a lot but in a very endearing way lolol

Mitsuri: physical touch, words of affirmation, gift giving

My lady, the LOVE pillar!! She’d drown you in so much love! She’d hug you, kiss you, touch you and hold you in anyway she can whenever and wherever! You will not be able to escape her grasp. She’d definitely hype you up a lot and give you so many loving nicknames. She’d cook for you a lot and buy you so many things

“I saw this when I was on a mission and it reminded me so much of you I just had to get it!! I love you!!!”

“Look at this really cute kimono I found!! You’d lot so cute in it, my love! Get in it now! I have to seeeee!!!”

You will definitely feel very loved in a relationship with Mitsuri

Obanai: gift giving, words of affirmation

He’d be very shy and start off with buying you a lot of things lol. He’d be like Mitsuri and buy you things when he’s out and about and something catches his eye that reminds him of you. He’d also get you stuff he thinks you’d look nice in. Most of the gifts he gets you he probably went out seeking, already having something in mind of what it is. Once you guys get more comfortable around each other, he’d definitely start showering you more in words of affirmation. He’d probably never call you by your name and only by endearing nicknames once you reach that point with him

“Here... take this...” as he looks away blushing. “Oh, Obanai! It’s beautiful... thank you so much~!” You’d take his gift and give him a peck on the cheek. His face would be so red and he’d be so flustered he’d have to walk away to cool down lolol

Kyojuro: acts of service, words of affirmation

I feel that Kyo would definitely do lots of acts of service to show you that he’s very reliable and that you can always depend on him. He wants to make sure that you know that he will always be there for you. He’d most definitely have so many nicknames for you and constantly tell you that he loves you. He’d always comment on how stunning you look everyday and brag so much about how proud and in love he is with you. He’d also be pretty touchy but I feel that he likes giving out acts of service and words of affirmation better. He’d definitely be touchy if you tell him to and would love receiving it from you as well.

“Haha! My beautiful Y/N! They looked absolutely stunning today!! Absolutely ravenous! Spectacular!! HAHA!!”

You’d blush and hide your face from embarrassment in his chest as he continues to boast and beam about you to the other pillars. The others have heard enough of his constant bragging. They get it. He loves you!!

Sanemi: acts of service, gift giving

This man is going to be so shy and tsundere omg. He’d get you gifts that he thinks would make you look pretty like hair pins/ties, cute kimonos, nice shoes, jewelry, you name it. He’d also most definitely do so much acts of service.

“Hmm... I meant to do the dishes today but I’m too lazy to get up right now...”

“Stay there, I’ll do it.”

“Nemi! You don’t have to-“

“I’m doing the dishes!!”

Man would be blushing so much around you aaaahhhh! If you’re patient with him, he’ll definitely open up a lot more and start being real touchy and probably not let you go at one point

If he’s every away for a long time, hooooo boyy he’s gonna come back and lock onto you like a koala and not let go for a long time. He might fuck around and get a lil sappy and tell you he loves you so much and that he never wants to lose you and would do anything to keep you his forever and ever

Muichiro: gift giving, physical touch

Feel like little Mui would look really spaced out when he’s out on mission and stuff then a random item he sees that reminds him of you will snap him back to reality so fast and he’d buy it and be really excited to give it you when he’s finally back home. I can also see him being really happy holding your hand or any other kind of subtle holding/touch to remind him that your his special person.

He’d be so happy holding your hand around the other pillars and just think to himself “hell yeah, I’m holding Y/N’s hand! They’re mine and only mine”

He believes he was born to be happy and strives to find and keep this happiness. You are definitely his happiness and will hold on to you so damn much

Himejima: physical touch, words of affirmation

I can imagine him hugging the heck out of you. He’s a giant teddy bear! You’d be smothered by hugs, cuddles and kisses. I feel like because he’s blind, holding you makes me feel so much more calm and happy. Because then he knows that you’re right there and not leaving his side. He’d also definitely tell you he loves you everyday. There won’t be a day where he doesn’t get you all sappy and spill his heart out to you

He’d probably wanna be the small spoon sometimes and it’d probably be a bit awkard if you’re smaller than him but you’d both just melt into it and fall alseep like that.

Being with Himejima is a guarantee of endless hugs, cuddles, kisses, hand holding, koala hugs, etc etc

Also, I feel like if you wiped away his tears after he got emotional over something, it’d melt him into a puddle and he’d be absolute putty in your hands akfozkaokcie hold the maaannnn

Uzui: words of affirmation, physical touch

Uzui would definitely tell you how special you are to him and how much he loves you. He’d always call you and his other wives his top priorities and that nothing will come in the way of you five. He’d also hold, hug and kiss you a lot. He has a lot of partners so I feel like he’d have a lot of love to give out. I also can see him feeling guilty for not seeing you and his wives a lot since he’s away on mission and will definitely come back home with lots of gifts for the four of you. And he’d probably go all out and get all the flamboyant, expensive and shiny stuff too.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been away for so long my lovelies. As an apology I have flamboyantly bought you these extravagant gifts!”

After all the gift exchanges and sappiness he’s definitely gonna spend a lot of quality time with each of you and make sure you’ve gotten your love and affection meter filled to the max

[fantasia-monogram]

As the clock strikes midnight, part 2

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / epilogue

♥️ Taeyang x reader (nonbinary, female anatomy) x Jaeyoon; mentions of other SF9 members

♥️ NSFW (~1.7k words); a lot of sex talk and kink negotiation. Mentions of BDSM and kink. No one is 100% straight. Mentions of queerphobia.

♥️ You’re a beast at work, having to be tough to climb up the corporate ladder, but what you never thought of is that your attitude might be intimidating to your long time crush. Luckily, your much more laid back friend is here to help... both of you. Please read part 1 before this!

♥️ Disclaimer: this is just for fun! I’m not claiming that’s how they are in real life, it’s just my imagination doing whatever it wants. Read at your own discretion.

Your impromptu get-together had been going for over two hours already, and you’d loved every minute of it so far. Your motivation had been mostly spending some time with Taeyang away from the workplace, but you had to admit: your other companion’s intentions towards you weren’t clear either. You enjoyed the mystery of it all, even though it was the youngest of your trio that you had your eyes on ever since the training period started.

Well, the mystery would end there, or so you thought.

“I can’t believe I put myself in a drama-like setting, but,” Jaeyoon started, clearly down out of sudden, “That guy reviewing our results… What was his name? Inseong… I might have a bit of a crush on him.”

You stopped in the middle of bringing a cup to your lips, letting your hand holding the latte hang awkwardly in the air. With the corner of your eye, you could see Taeyang doing the same.

“Come on, don’t tell me that you’re…” Jaeyoon whined, shaking his head.

“No, hear me out,” you interrupted. Before you spoke again, you cautiously looked left and right to make sure no one else was listening. Only then, you continued with a hushed voice. “You know, it drives me crazy whenever they call me a she in those international reports. I’m non-binary, I prefer neutral pronouns. I don’t really have to worry about it on a daily basis, until English rolls in and makes me cringe.”

Your friend leaned closer to you.

“Not like I didn’t notice,” he concluded. A wide grin was back on his face. “Do you like boys, though?”

You could tell he was just joking, given his usual flirty attitude, and you didn’t have to answer at all. However, since you started confessing already, you figured you could take it seriously.

“I do, actually!” You nodded, smiling lightly.

You couldn’t believe you could talk about it openly like that.

“Oh, I don’t discriminate, I fuck everybody,” Jaeyoon replied in a seemingly playful tone, although being serious as well, “But right now? My heart belongs to the Quality Department leader.” He finished with a hand on his chest.

You both laughed wholeheartedly, until you noticed Taeyang was silent this entire time. Jaeyoon turned his eyes towards him, with you following shortly.

“What about you?” Jaeyoon asked boldly.

A look of slight panic flashed through Taeyang’s face, and you’d think it’s adorable if not for the crushing possibility of him having objections towards who you were - now that he knew, it could have changed anything.

You really didn’t want to have your heart broken after mere four weeks since starting a new job.

“I… I like g…” Taeyang stuttered, his gaze briefly catching yours. He held tight onto his cup of coffee and looked away, blushing profusely. “People with vaginas.”

“No way!” Jaeyoon exclaimed. Fortunately, he remembered the topic of your conversation and immediately toned it back down. “I’m sorry, I’d have never clocked you as straight.”

“Hey, stop it!” You smacked his bicep, earning an exaggerated wince from him.

Taeyang rolled his eyes and sighed deeply.

“It’s fine,” he stated, putting on a regretful expression. “I get that a lot. I tried everything, but that’s my final verdict for now.”

Jaeyoon kept making inappropriate jokes despite your earlier protest, but you would be lying if you said you were listening to him. Your eyes were glued on Taeyang, even though he was way too busy deflecting your other friend’s silly remarks to pay attention to you.

*

It wasn't the first time Jaeyoon and Taeyang have visited your place; they've been there numerous times before, together and separately. 

It was the first time, however, when they entered the apartment with all three of you feeling equally horny and not even trying to hide it. 

It couldn't have been caused by the alcohol, because you haven't had any, Taeyang only had a couple sugary drinks, and Jaeyoon got completely sober as soon as the words fun night were mentioned. Nothing had been explicitly stated, but all of you - always having been open not just about your sexual identity and orientation, but also your specific attitudes towards sex in general - have reached an unspoken agreement: everyone was getting off tonight, this way or another.

You quickly decided to take turns using the bathroom. When it was Jaeyoon's turn to shower, you were left alone with Taeyang. It was a bit awkward at first, considering his confession from earlier that you barely replied to. As soon as he sat on a sofa in the living room - smelling clean, fresh glow on his face - you took a place beside him, wearing your black satin pajamas already.

Taeyang leaned back and smiled at you blissfully. Only then, he took your hand in his; after holding it for a good minute, he intertwined your fingers.

"I'm so happy," he whispered. 

You really wished to answer in a coherent way, yet you couldn't possibly focus enough to be your usual, collected self - not when you finally had your long-time crush next to you, shirtless, lightly toned muscles and sharp outline of ribs on display.

Maybe you didn't want to shock him by showing this side of yourself so easily, but it was impossible at this point; your prettiest, prettiest boy was here, looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the entire universe, making your heart swell with love and desire just by that. 

Not used to being so overwhelmed with emotions, you just stared back at him wide-eyed.

"Sheesh, don't tell me you started without me!" 

Jaeyoon appeared in the doorway, hair still wet and adorably curled without usual styling - a contrast to his impressive physique in nearly full glory since he, as opposed to the more reserved Taeyang, decided to step out of the bathroom wearing only boxer briefs. 

It's not like you hadn't seen him like this before, as you'd go to the pool together many times over the past few years (Taeyang always refused the invitation, even though he claimed to be a pro at swimming and even bragged about gold and silver medals he won in national competitions during high school). Yet somehow, this time, the sight hit differently, since you knew what was about to happen. 

"No way," you chuckled; Taeyang let go of your hand, which made your mood deflate a little. "Mind if we eat something first?" 

Everyone was starving after the boring company party, so you all moved to the kitchen. You couldn't hide your amusement over how the apartment looked like a dollhouse when trying to contain not just you, but also two grown men. You gave up on relationships ages ago, so when looking for a place to rent, you had only your own comfort in mind.

"Okay, first of all," you started when everyone was finished with their meal, "Are we all safe? While I was still in the dating game, I was always monogamous and did regular checkups. I haven't had any partners for the past four years." 

You cringed internally saying it out loud, but transparency was your number one priority. 

"I never do anything without a condom," Jaeyoon stated. 

As usual, Taeyang took a while before taking part in risky conversations.

"I do BDSM, but it hardly ever involved actual sex." 

"I can confirm that." Jaeyoon smiled smugly, propping his chin on his hand. 

Your eyes went comically wide at the implication. 

"Wait, what did I miss?! I thought you liked, in your words, people with vaginas?" You gasped, blood rushing to your cheeks. 

Taeyang's face turned equally red, except he decided to cover it with his hand. 

"Y/n, dear, he said that three and a half years ago," your friend explained. 

"Jaeyoon hyung had his part in my awakening as a submissive," Taeyang added, finally daring to look at you, "There was nothing sexual about it." 

"Except for the fact I watched you jerk off," the hyung in question clarified. 

"HEY!" The other guy got flushed again. 

You swallowed heavily, feeling your throat get dry all of sudden. Oh my God. You could barely sit still at this point. 

"We both like to watch," Jaeyoon concluded casually. 

"So… Wait a minute," you picked up, your head spinning from the information overload, "If I understand it correctly: Taeyang, you're a sub. Jaeyoon, we're both Doms."

The guys nodded in unison. 

"We're all into voyeurism."

Again, they confirmed with a single nod. 

"I can't believe. This is too good to be true," you said weakly, shaking your head with disbelief. 

"I have an idea," the older of your colleagues continued, "I don't wanna get too much inbetween you two."

Suddenly, Taeyang squeezed your hand under the table in a way that was borderline possessive. 

"But since it's supposed to be enjoyable for all of us… I could get a bit touchy with Y/n… I suppose watching us would be enough to get Taeyangie ready, am I right?" 

Taeyang looked to the side, his expression serious, but his body language unable to hide the excitement. 

"Humiliate me a little and I'll be fine," he muttered under his breath.

He squeezed your hand even harder. You smiled at the feeling. 

"I have one request for you," you turned to Jaeyoon, "No kissing on the lips, no hands in each other's underwear."

"I'm okay with that," he shrugged.

"You sure?" Taeyang asked. 

"No worries, just focus on yourself," the older guy chuckled, "I'll take care of myself while watching you two have fun." 

Was it happening for real? You felt like you were dreaming.

Taeyang brought you back to reality by bringing your linked hands to rest on his thigh. 

"Do we… go all the way?" He inquired in a shy tone. 

You took your time to inhale and exhale deeply before collecting yourself enough to answer. 

"Yeah, we do."

(to be continued)

[leftonraed]

The Night We Met - Episode 4

pairing : Taehyung x OC genre : bodyguard!au, singleparent!au, idol!au   word count : 2.3k summary — Taehyung decides to take some time off. warning : mention of blood Prologue | ep.1 | ep.2 | ep.3 | ep.4 | ep.5 | ep.6 | ep.7 

You glance at the rearview mirror when you hear Hina grunt.

“Hina, are you hungry?” Taehyung’s looking down at her when she doesn’t stop wriggling in her car seat.

She nods with a small frown, now sprawled, her body pulling down on the belts preventing her from falling off.

“We’re almost there. Wait a little bit.”

“Let’s get you bac-”

Hina squeals again louder in annoyance when Hwiin moves her arms closer to her.

“Hina, look out! Can you see the sea?” You promptly say, trying to distract her.

It seems to work as the little girl stretches her neck towards the window with round eyes to get a glimpse of the ocean. She struggles a bit, pushing on her arms to have her body back on her seat behind Taehyung’s back who marvels just as much at the beautiful sight. Hwiin’s subtle glare goes unnoticed by you, eyes going back and forth between the road and the gps not to to miss the destination.

“We’ve arrived!”

The lunch passes by uneventfully. Everyone was relieved to finally see Hina in a better mood. Taehyung didn’t say it but he was almost calling his holiday idea into question but he knew it’d do them both good. Hwiin was invited out of courtesy and something told you she accepted despite her busy schedule solely because she knew you’d be there as well. You weren’t given a choice unlike her but you surely didn’t mind going with them.

You walk out the restaurant, en route to the lodging he had reserved for five days. Taehyung asked if he could drive. Hwiin opens the passenger side. She hasn’t said a word the whole time you ate. Thrilled Hina pulls on your hand to have you ride with her. The car drives away.

“You don’t look very good, are you alright?” He observes after a while, giving his manager quick glances.

His manager is holding her stomach, unable to hide her uneasiness anymore. “I think I must have indigestion or something.”

No one says anything for a while, only Hwiin can be heard whimpering, earning worried looks from Taehyung.

He pulls over in the garage you opened after stepping out of the car. You take care of helping Hina out of her seat and take some of the luggages on your way to the house.

“Maybe… Coming here wasn’t a very good idea?” She tries softly while massaging her stomach.

In a tricky position, Taehyung scratches the back of his head and looks for words. Hina walks by and crashes herself against his leg, tightening her arms around. He smiles down at her. You keep walking back and forth the house and the car, half-listening to them.

“I can’t cancel this. I promised Hina.” He starts, more embarrassed than he should be. “I really think it’ll do us good.”

Hwiin glances at you at the same time you look at her. She averts her eyes to gaze back at him. She knew she’d ruin their days off by staying, he’d definitely feel bad about her not taking part and at the same time, she’s bothered by the thought of you having him all to yourself. Not that you share that thought but she definitely does.

You walk by at the same time he says, “I don’t want you to go back by yourself.” It makes you roll your eyes.

“I know,” she smiles, his words warming her up.

“A taxi’s on the way!” You blurt out, pushing the phone you’re holding in her face as evidence.

Taehyung frowns a little surprised,“when did you take my phone?”

“You left it in the car,” you smile sweetly and hand him back the device.

“I guess I’m not wanted anymore,” she glares at your back.

He shakes his hands, not wanting her to misunderstand. “I’ll wait with you.” He quickly intejects.

____________________

You’re in the middle of your washing when you hear some commotion outside. You keep your ears open but don’t hear anything worth worrying about, thinking the two of them must be playing together.

A heavy thud is heard right after and this time, you hear Taehyung shouting something to you but you don’t understand.  

“Why are you being so noisy? I’m trying to relax.” You frown while soaping yourself.

Hina shrieks so loud it makes your blood curdle. You frown at the door in shock.

You jump out the tub, catching hold of the furniture to prevent yourself from losing balance and fling the door open. Something hits it hard on the other side.

“Hina?!”

The little girl squeals again at your sight, delighted. You crouch at her height taking her in your arms.

“Are you hurt? Why did you scream?”

You fall back on your bottom under her weight when she hugs your neck as you’re still ensuring she is all right. She points at the door with a toothy grin. “Taetae! Scawy!”

“Huh?” You look at the door that slowly swings back just now to close and reveals a shocked Taehyung on all fours. His head pounds with pain from the unexpected blow.

You watch him, taken aback, while he sits back and brings a hand to his nose. “Ow… Why did-”

His eyes get so big you think they’d burst out of their socket. He can’t help but gape at your body solely wrapped in a short towel, some of the white suds slowly sliding down your wet legs and arms. His mouth moves but no sound comes out.

“Are you okay?” You worry earnestly.

The only thing hiding her- If Hina wasn’t there-, he thinks while staring at Hina’s legs between yours.

“Y-you have a nose bleed.”

“Hm?” His fingers get stained when he touches above his mouth. He covers his nose so Hina doesn’t have to see and complains, voice muffled. “Why did you open the door like that?”

“I heard her screaming. What’s happening?”

“It was supposed to be a joke.”

You frown, even more worried. “You seriously need to work on your sense of humor.”

He mumbles a response but you don’t listen to him as you look at Hina, “wanna come take a bath with me? With lots of bubbles?”

She nods smartly at the sound of bubbles and you both leave bleeding Taehyung behind.

_________________________

Taehyung ends his call with his parents and thumbs answers to the couple of texts he just received while walking back inside. Sliding the window door tightly shut, he thinks the house sounds quiet, too quiet, especially when Hina spent the past hour running and screaming around. It stirs his curiosity up.

He walks in the living-room but the T.V is switched off and no one’s inside. That’s only when he reaches the corridor that he’s able to hear a singing voice. He follows the soft sound and it brings him to the bedroom he shares with Hina.

The door doesn’t make a sound when he opens it and sees you with your back turned to him. It’s almost completely dark inside but he can make you out holding Hina in your arms. The sight makes him swoon and he’s not quite sure what has his heart clenching so hard.

Now aware of his presence, your singing turns into soft hummings out of self-consciousness and you don’t look away from the peaceful face of the angel snuggling against you.

Taehyung walks close by to peak at his niece’s face. The silence you linger in is comforting in many ways.

A loving, fatherly smile naturally adorns his face shortly before surprise furrows his brows when he gets a whiff of your enticing smell.

With a tilt of his head, he lets it drag him along your shoulder where it’s subtle on your skin then it gets heady at your nape and hair, mingling touches of rose, jasmine and grapefruit. He closes his eyes, daring to close the tiny distance between you to let the tip of his nose brush your strands.

He snaps himself out before you notice him and slides a little to the side to look one last time at Hina, his mind fuzzy with an old memory —

“Wow, you’ve grown so much,” marvels Taehyung as he watches eleven-month-old Hina wobble on her tiny feet as she focuses on balancing her weight to stand up.

“Yesterday, she even walked by herself.” He hears his brother brag from the kitchen.

“Can you come to me, Hina?” Taehyung moves his hands to prompt her.

Her mother says softly, with a smile, “go to your uncle, baby.”  

Hina positions him and carefully makes a first step forward, then a second and a third. There’s not much left of a distance before she can grab onto one of his fingers. Her foot trips and almost makes her fall but she manages to stop herself and make another step closer to him with their encouragement.

“That’s it, that’s it. A little bit more.”

She catches the loving smile he addresses her, deconcentrating her and she automatically goes into an all-four position and crawls to his knees.

“Good girl,” chuckles Taehyung as he holds her against his chest, kissing her fluffy cheek and making her smile.

A while later, Taehyung walks upstairs to wash himself.

“The towels are in the second drawer. Don’t hesitate if you need anything.” His brother’s wife says before closing the door.

“Thank you.” Taehyung settles his clean clothes on a shelve nearby and starts undressing.

The bathroom is quickly filled with steam from the shower. Taehyung shakes his bottle of shower gel.

“Hmmm,” he pouts upset when he can’t get anything from the empty container. He eventually gives in and throws it in the bin from his position, turns around and starts reading the plethora of bottles aligned on the shelves. Wondering how his brother gets his bearings. He picks one that reads - Eau du soir.

“Ge- gel- p-parfum-” He stutters, trying to decipher the foreign language. “Do-douz- douche, ba…” He gives up and squirts some of the liquid on his hand. Citrus and floral scents fill in his nose and the air around him. “That must be it.”

After he steps out, he roughly dries his hair and puts on his shirt. He hears some noise on the other side of the door and carefully opens it after he’s finished dressing up.

He’s welcomed with the toothless smile of his niece, craning her neck up to gaze happily at him.

“What are you doing here, small bean?” He grins, caught out.

He notices his sister-in-law not far, watching her. “She can’t get enough of you once you’re here.” She smiles as he lowers to hold her in his arms. Her head naturally snuggles in his chest, still warm from his shower and scented comfortingly. “She was missing you.”

He blindly watches you slowly settling her in the middle of the bed. She stirs and almost wakes up. You naturally decide to lie down right next to her, softly patting her back to get her back asleep.

Taehyung sits down by her side.

“Hm-” He hesitates when he’s caught you out of the corner of his eye, “are you- You’re shaking…”

You look up at him and he’s able to make out the glare you’re sending him.

“You surely must be the only person in the world to have AC on in the middle of winter,” you whisper-shout trying to stop the trembling of your lips.

“Huh? Not even true. It’s the only way I can go to sleep.” He frowns in the same childish tone and carries on, lifting his forefinger to point at your figure. “Besides, you’re the one walking around in underwear.”

“It’s a sleepwear.” You dispute to have the last word.

He mumbles to himself, “liar.”

“We can find common ground…” He looks back at you as you carefully shifts Hina closer to him and yourself to her. You notice his gaze lingering on the curve of your hips when you hike your naked thigh up slightly. “Come lie down behind me.”

His heart jumps in his chest and soon, the room feels warmer despite the steady whirring of the air conditioning.

His mouth is dry. “Wha-?”

“I don’t want to wake her up and you won’t turn it off, so come to bed this way my heat fortress will be complete and I’ll be able to go to sleep.”

“He-heat fortress?” He stands up.

“Hm-hm. Hina’s the first wall. You’re the second one.”

Taehyung brings a hand to his chest thudding hard. “I-I don’t think it’s-”

“I could leave,” you raise yourself on your elbow. “but Hina might wake up and-”

His words are barely audible but you freeze the second you hear them. He’s standing in front of the window. The sky is clear tonight and the light of the moon framing his build emphasizes his height above you. His hair hides his eyes.

“Don’t- Go…”

You gaze up, a little dazed. You can’t remember hearing his voice this low before.

He walks around the bed in silence and sits down. You watch him quietly, a little amused as he hovers your body, giving you a sample of his pleasant scent while grabbing the cover.

You keep a close watch on him over your shoulder, taken aback when he suddenly tucks the thick cover tightly around you.

“Uh- What are you doing?” You ask out of breath.

“Taking precautions.”

You aren’t sure who he's targeting but you can feel yourself already warming up comfortably and dozing.

It’s been around fifteen minutes since Taehyung heard your first silent snores and he still can’t feel a bit of drowsiness, too aware of your close, lightly dressed presence. The night will be long.

A heavy sigh escapes him, it’s simply not working. He’s trying to calm himself, forcing his eyes closed and not making a big deal out of it but it’s difficult. He’s the one who stopped you from leaving and he can always go sleep in your room but something has him desiring you right here, by his side.

He hears you shift and freezes when he feels your arm moving up his chest. His eyes naturally look for your face and find it turned in his direction, peaceful. His hand goes to grab you and surprises him when you close your fingers around.

He doesn’t move and stares softly at you, as if he’d find any kind of answers.

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