#i love a song that goes 'regret my touch so much that you curse your baptism' and like the literal point is that we have weight

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

me, drowning in Hozier's Francesca: I'm pretty edgy for a catholic, aren't I

[tiredtransttrpgdesigner]

My Experience With Pine Barrens

I wanna tell y’all a story. It’s the story I experience when I listen to the song Pine Barrens by Jakey. I recommend listening to it yourself to experience your own story before I share mine. Feel free to continue, but do know that this will discuss self harm, trauma, emotional abuse, and destructive relationships.

Have you ever been dangerously in love? I don’t mean like a passionate crush, or being attracted to a bad boy, or getting sucked into someone’s destructive life. I mean the kind of love that hurts you to be in it. The kind that leaves wounds in your heart and makes you spit up trust and intimacy like bloody phlegm. Not the Romeo and Juliet love that’d make you break curfew and go against your family’s wishes. The Romeo and Juliet love that causes you to slice open your wrists at the mere thought about being taken away from them, sending your families into a spiral of grief and pain they can’t recover from.

I’ve felt that love before, a couple times, and each time prefaced the worst periods of my life. But it’s not just dangerous because of what it can do. It’s dangerous because every single time I couldn’t stop myself. It was like an addiction, pulling me in deep and swallowing my life whole, just to spit me out a couple months later, broken and shivering alone in the cold. I even started to see it coming, but it didn’t change anything. The allure was so damn powerful because it gave me something I had been chasing my entire life.

Pure, powerful, passionate bliss. The kind of shit that sends tingles through every nerve in your body. The kind of shit that makes your heart race faster than you thought possible, that makes all the anger and doubt and worries melt away just under their touch. It lights you up like a furnace and makes you scream forward like a muscle car. But it never lasts. It can’t last, because it’s fuel is you. All the little bits of you. Your quirks, your idiosyncrasies, your habits, your opinions, your creativity, your very essence. It eats it all up and burns it away, all fuel for the passion. You end up trying to do anything and everything just to keep it going another day, another hour, another minute, until it finally sputters out.

And then it’s gone. And you realize there’s nothing left. And while they’re still there, the love is nowhere to be seen, and they become a reminder of what you don’t have. It hurts, and all too often that hurt gets shared. You start finding things that don’t fit, the parts of each other that scrape like there was a miscalculation at the factory. The scraping just goes and goes, and without that fire going it digs into your brain until you can’t take it anymore, and you snap at them.

Or maybe they snap at you. It’s a game of whoever has the least patience, but it's inevitable either way. It’s not much. Just a hurtful comment at the wrong moment. But the foundation was empty, and so it crumbles into dust before your eyes. And then you’re alone. Alone and in pain. Maybe you run from it, moving away to somewhere new, somewhere better. Maybe you hide from it, distracting yourself with vices both legal and maybe illegal.

Me? I always wallowed in it. Sitting in the sadness and pain, feeling every detail of it coursing through my veins. Committing them to memory so I could replay them in my head on a loop. But it didn’t stop there, either. My mind would turn on me, like an emotional autoimmune disease. Regret and blame and hatred all turning to me and telling me I was the problem. That I was cursed. That I couldn’t love people. At my lowest, that’s when my mind would come to torture me. A few times it almost felt like an execution.

Listening to Pine Barrens reminds me of those times. It reminds me of the things my mind used to tell me at my lowest moments. It reminds me of being so hopelessly and dangerously in love that it would ruin my entire life. It reminds me of burning myself out for that other person and being tossed aside in return. It reminds me that passionate love is often the most destructive.

However, while I’m bombarded by these memories, I’m granted something important to protect myself against them. An outside perspective. Listening to Pine Barrens lets me view these moments outside of myself, seeing the moment as it is instead of how I felt. I see the pain, I see the futile attempts at bliss, I see the self-sacrifice tearing me apart. I see it all, but it’s not happening to me, not really. It’s happening to a me I used to be, a kid who was misguided but was still trying her best.

It was so easy to be there and flog myself at the altar of the person I Should Have Been and Could Have Been. To scream and yell and hurt myself in the path of a wish that was never granted. To condemn my soul early and cast myself into a hell of my own making. Now, I stand here and see the past and I realize.

I have no interest in following false idols. The person I should have been never existed. She was never going to exist. Should Have Been and Could Have Been were just the excuses, just the blinds over the view of what Was. Seeing what Was, I can’t help but feel empathy. When the false comparisons melt away, the hatred melts with them.

I’ve made mistakes. I’ve hurt people, and been hurt back. I’ve indulged in dangerous love and left myself scarred. I don’t have to hate myself for that. There wouldn’t be a point to, anyways. I’m not who I should have been, but I’m something a lot more real.

I’m a person who is trying to be better.

[hoshiyen]

//inspired by the song iris

Angels are made to guide and protect each chosen human on earth. A magical creature humans failed to feel.

"There's yours," an older angel told the younger one, Haniel, pointing on a girl who just saw the world for the first time. The humans call them "baby".

Haniel nodded and quickly flew to her and started his purpose. To protect her.

He felt more attached and responsible to her day by day as the little girl grew older. At night, he'd watch her sleep and protect her from any harm except from nightmares she can't escape. The girl would cry and it was one of the hardest thing for him to see. Angry at himself for not being able to protect her from everything.

The girl grew much older. She finally became a woman. Humans around her describes her as caring, kind, humble, and admirable.

But when Haniel was asked to describe her, he paused and looked at her as if he couldn't trust his own imagination to search for words that perfectly fits her.

"Delicate, warm, has a heart of a gold and..." he didn't finish. The angels around him kept staring at him, waiting for him to finish.

"And...?" the others probed.

He took another glance at her. "Beautiful," he finally added.

The others couldn't believe what he just said. "Are you falling for her?" another asked him, he didn't answer. But his eyes gave him away. It was obvious the way he looks at her.

"You know we can't fall in love with a human!" An angel warned him. But he already knew that. Of course everybody knows the very rule of being an angel.

A rule? It's more like a curse, he thought.

He swallowed the words he wanted to say and told everyone not to worry.

Haniel tried so hard to suppress his feelings for her. But it was hard. The way she smile, the way she laugh, the way she talks... all the little things, he fell for it every single day. It was torture and miraculous for him to feel that way for the very first time. It was foreign yet addicting.

He couldn't stay hidden. Haniel wanted to meet her. To talk to her. To touch her, to feel her warmth. To be with her, not just like her shadow who silently follows everywhere she goes. So he told everyone what he wanted.

"An angel, falling in love with a human!" an older angel, Uriel, said almost in disgust. Everyone murmured, but that didn't stop him.

"But I don't want to be an angel," Haniel said in his defense. Uriel stood up from his seat, not surprised of what Haniel just said.

It happened before. Everyone knows the story of Angelo. An angel who fell in love with a human. But when he became one, the woman did not love him back. He died a year after. He didn't take the consequence well.

That is why Haniel thinks of it as a curse. Falling in love with a human is a risk. It's full of consequences.

"Being an angel is not a choice. And it is not something you can just drop and move on without. This is a blessing. This is your miracle!" Uriel's voice thundered.

"Is it?" Haniel's eyes narrowed. Questioning Uriel's belief.

"What if she is my miracle!?" Haniel debated, equaling the anger of Uriel.

Uriel finally looked surprised. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He's touched by what Haniel just said but he couldn't let him do this. He scoffed, "What? You're choosing that human over this blessing?"

Haniel nodded without hesitations, "yes." He's never been this sure and confident.

Eventually, the angels granted him his wish. They took his wings and told him he could never go back to being an angel again. He agreed to every consequences he might face. The angels sent him down and continued watching the life he chose.

Haniel quickly went to the woman he loved. It was miraculous. They fell in love, almost immediately.

Haniel was happy and contented, he can finally touch her and talk to her.

But fate truly is playful, and sometimes too painful.

Uriel sent an angel down to talk to Haniel. "Did you regret being a human for her?" He asked Haniel who's looking down on the woman's gravestone.

"Tell me," Haniel said, not looking back at the angel. "Did my decision of becoming a human made her like this?" He asked, thinking she might've suffered because of his decision.

The angel replied, "No. This was her fate."

Haniel shook his head, tears falling from his face. "Then, no. I do not regret my decision," he managed to say.

"But all your sacrifices are for nothing!" The angel said, trying to make him feel the regret they all felt for him from above. "Now she's gone! And someday you will be, too. But if you were still an angel, you'll live forever!"

Haniel knelt down, feeling all the pain he could possibly feel. Hugging his knees on his chest, trying to ease all the pain he's never felt before.

"I don't regret it," he repeats. "I'd rather have a minute with her than an eternity without it."

[stargazer-balladeer]

“I won't say I’m in love” [Twisted Wonderland]

Song lyric: I won’t say I’m in love - Hercules

Characters Included: Sebek Zigvolt + GN! Reader

Notes: ya'll know the saying that goes - "the writing reflects the person". since this fic is a mess, it reflects how my brain works at the moment. Hope ya'll like this!

Warning: slight angst ig

“I will NEVER fall in love with a human, EVER!”

Sebek proclaimed this when he was young. He saw how his fae mother is smitten with his human father but he could never understand how she fell in love with the human. He fully wanted to devote himself to serving Malleus that he wouldn’t bat an eye at those who tries to win his heart.

But ever since he met you, his whole world turned upside down.

He cannot fathom why his heart is beating fast inside his chest when you’re near him. He cannot fathom why, even the faintest touch from you, cause his cheeks to burn. He cannot fathom why his thoughts were filled with you constantly, day and night. He was sure you cursed him!

But Lilia and his fellow Diasomina disagree with his statement. They could clearly see that he was falling for the human - you. Most of his companions were amused by the fact that Sebek managed to break one of his promises to himself - to never fall in love with a human and now he’s here, smitten with one.

“You’re in love, Sebek!” Lilia cheered, throwing red roses over the flustered boy as the other two clapped in the background. “Fufu this is quite fascinating. I can still clearly see his face when the human passed by.” Malleus teased as he crossed his arms in front of him. Silver scratched the back of his neck while chuckling. “Never thought I’d see the day that this would happen.”

“ARGGH WRONG!” Sebek screamed at them which made them freeze in surprise. Though he loses his fright since his face is a literal strawberry red-colored, he still sounds commanding as ever. “I’M NOT IN LOVE OR FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE HUMAN! NOT NOW NOT EVER! AND THAT’S FINAL!” After that, he proceeds to stomp away while grumbling loudly leaving three stunned Diasomnia members.

“… oh my, dear Sebek is going through the in-denial stage.” The other two agreed with the old man’s saying.

Sebek convinces himself that these feelings would go away if he avoids you, but he soon realized it’s much harder to say it rather than do it. He tries to avoid you as best as he could but you still managed to force your way beside him. He tries to push you away but you’re still stuck with him.

How could you be so infuriating yet so loveable at the same time?!

“I told you to stay away from me!” Sebek’s booming voice rang through the hallways as he glares at you with his piercing eyes. You huffed, putting your hands on your hips while narrowing your eyes at him. “Why are you pushing me away? I told you that I just need your help-“ “It’s because you’re annoying!” He cuts you off with annoyance dripping from his voice.

He didn’t dare to look directly in your eyes, fearing he might regret it. But deep inside, he’s already regretting the words coming out of his mouth. He chews the bottom of his lips as he stares at the wall. “You’re a nuisance to me, always in the way. Always thinking you’re above me by pushing me around. I hate everything about you.” He finishes in a rather surprising soft tone.

His ears became deaf from the loud silence emitting from you. You didn’t even utter another word as you started to walk away from him, leaving him in the shadows of his regret.

He didn’t mean any of the words that came out of his mouth that day, he hoped in his heart that you’ll continue to remain by his side even through it, what a selfish man he is indeed.

The next day, you didn’t greet him like you always do, choosing to sit with another person. You didn’t look his way. You didn’t spare any of your attention to him. It makes his heart ache even more.

Why is his pride so big that he chose to hurt himself?

“I know I’m not supposed to be meddling with your private affairs but this is getting ridiculous, even for you Sebek.” Sebek’s head shot up from his gaze down the courtyard where you were conversing with the Adeuce combo towards his small senior. He blinks owlishly before huffing. “With due respect, Lilia-sama, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lilia rolls his eyes at his cute but utterly stupid junior as he floats upside down beside him, gazing at the person Sebek was watching earlier.

“I’m aware that you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t fall for a human like how your mother fell in love with your father but is it honestly that bad? I mean, your heart what it wants no?” Sebek remained silent. Lilia sighed. “You even have the guts to tell them such hurtful words, I’m quite disappointed honestly.” Lilia forces Sebek to face him to make eye contact with the previous general. “You have one job to do right now Sebek. Apologize. Make things right with them. Throw away those walls, throw away your pride. Choose what matters to you.” With that, Lilia promptly disappears, leaving Sebek in his thoughts before promptly walking away with a newfound determination.

Sebek is one of the many people studying in NRC that is not completely honest with his feelings, he had one goal in life before - to serve Malleus. But now, he has another goal - to right his wrongs, to undo his mistake of hurting you, to make you love him as well no matter what it takes or how long it will be.

Not many people know this but Sebek’s a patient man, he’d only become impatient if it’s regarding Malleus’ safety. He promises to cherish his partner for life if they’d still have him.

Sebek love is like waves, it still waves uncertainly but you know it’s true.

“I’M SORRY FOR SAYING THOSE THINGS! I’M SORRY FOR HURTING YOUR FEELINGS! I KNOW SORRY ISN’T GOING TO CUT IT SO YOU ARE FREE TO HIT ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!” Sebek’s loud voice rang through the halls once more, surprising you and a couple of students lingering in the hallway. It was in the exact location where he spewed those hateful words to you. And now trying to replace it with a new one.

He takes your hands hesitantly with flushed cheeks as he tries to make eye contact with you but failing. “S-So! I’m going to properly say it now, my true feelings… I love you, that’s the truth. You’re a precious human to me. If you don’t feel the same then I understand.” Sebek finished in a rather soft tone. So will you accept or reject his confession?

[x] Main Page || [x] Diasomnia Page

[tendousthoughts]

You’re getting so popular now. Don’t forget me when you become famous

ANYWAY I will say you have great taste in anime

And also

To make a request: how would some of the setters react to their s/o pranking them by saying “I’m glad I didn’t break up with you that one time”

I saw it on teesumu’s page and thought it was hilarious

Have a wonderful day!

- 🍍 anon

HQ boys reacting to “I’m glad I didn’t break up with you that one time”

Character(s): Atsumu & Kenma

Warning(s): Cursing

Song of the day: Bubble Gum by Clairo

A/N to ask writer: I won’t! You’re my first ever anon so I don’t think I could ever lmao. You’re amazing and the main reason I came back! Ngl I was like having major writers block but to see you coming back to my account made me so fucking happy. >~< You didn’t hear that! Ah, thank you! Anime is so good lmao- I chose Atsumu and Kenma. If you want I can do a part two for Akaashi and someone else- (Aghh I can’t remember if you had any other setters in your top 5 at the moment)

A/N: So here I go- I passed 150 followers and I’m close to 200! Thank you all so much. Part three to my series will be out soon so stay tuned! [Disclaimer: all credit goes to @/teesumu for the idea, I haven’t read theirs yet! I hope I did this right but again! I didn’t come up with this thanks to my amazing anon, I know @/teesumu did!]

All my works

Got a request? Or do you wanna be a anon? Or just wanna talk?

Atsumu

You had been on your phone a bit when you came across a dare video. So maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea. But what harm could it do? Hm? You stood up stretching. “Babyyyyy!” You called out. Your stomach growling. “Tsumu!” You called out again.

“Coming babe!” He called from the room over, soon getting to you. “What ya want cutie?” He chuckles a bit. That stupid grin on his face, as he leaned his body on the door frame.

“I’m hungry!” Your stomach growled again as he walked up and held you. God his arms were almost too perfect. If that was even a thing.

“Ah okay what does ma Angel want to eat then..?” He asked. He was nowhere near as good a cook as Osamu. Both of you knew it but he liked to deny it. He didn’t like to say Osamu was better than him at anything. Though he was.

“I wanna get a burger please..” you muttered. Your is voice soft. It had been awhile since you felt comfortable enough in your own skin. After all that had happened before you had been put in a terrible mindset.

“Mhm. Anything for ma angel,” he laid a kiss on your soft lips. Before pulling off smiling. “Let’s get a good juicy burger. With fries! I want a soda too,” He smiled, already walking to grab his keys from the drawer.

“Sounds good.” You laughed softly. It was great how quickly Atsumu reacted to knowing what you wanted. Already grabbing the keys and such.

After a few minutes you guys were already in the car. You look to the floor thinking before shaking your head. Atsumu looked over a bit confused but just gently hummed. “Ya okay baby..?” He whispered softly.

“Mhm.. I’ve just been thinking and.. I’m glad I didn’t break up with you that one time.” A small smile on your face to see his reaction. But he is already looking back at the road.

“Ah I see.. I’m glad that I didn’t either,” He chuckles softly.

What? What does he mean ‘I didn’t either’? Did he actually regret it all at some point..?

You just shook your head softly, pulling your knees to your chest slightly. So maybe you did something to him, to make him think that way. By the time you got to the place you were lost in a prison of your own thoughts. Just wanting an answer.

It took him a moment to notice you weren’t answering him when he parked. He gently kissed your head. “Baby ya okay..?” He whispered softly. He hadn’t been serious. It was just a way to fight that nasty feeling inside him. That feeling of not being perfect. So maybe if he pretended not to be with you either at some point it would balance it out.

It didn’t, it clearly didn’t. Now you were at the part back to how you looked. Fuck. It wasn’t just the way you looked. It was your voice. It was fucking everything that made you insecure.

You finally looked up. Trying to not let you stupid tears fall. “I’m sorry..” you muttered softly. It wasn’t what you wanted to ever hear. But you almost felt like you needed to apologize for not being enough.

“What?” He looked confused. Underly confused. He really didn’t think about the outcome. Because now you’re crying, even though you’re trying so desperately to hide it.

It took only a brief second for him to have his arms wrapped around you again. “I am sorry for ever making you regret being with me..” you muttered trying to stop the tears from falling. “It was supposed to be a prank and.. and..” you couldn’t breathe. At least that’s what it felt like. Your heart was pounding hard as you closed your eyes.

It took him a moment to get what you were saying. “Angel..” he mumbled, holding you closer even though you tried to move away. He felt terrible. “Hey.. I didn’t mean it too.. I just.. I thought.. I thought it might make me feel better. I didn’t want it to hurt ya.” he whispered softly, holding you to his chest. You knew he didn’t have any ill intentions. He wasn’t like that. He never was like that, and maybe that’s why you loved him so much.

“It’s okay..” he knew you were hurt but didn’t want to press you.

“I love you ma angel..” he muttered softly. It took some time but soon after you felt comfortable enough and both of you got out of the car. You and him were a pair. Forever. He was your soulmate and you were his.

Kenma

He is a professional gamer now. Times were rough sometimes. It was common for you two to go hours without talking, almost forgetting about each other’s existence. But you loved that. You both had busy lives and when you did spend time together it had hours of talking about that day. You guys had a ‘weird’ relationship that no one else would understand. But it was perfect for you two.

It had been about an hour when you decided to do the prank. When you saw it, it kind of flooded all of your thoughts. The only problem is that you were worried about his reaction. The relationship had problems when it started, which you thought you both worked to fix. It just worried you that it might start up again.

You walked to the door and knocked. You bit your lip, opening the door when you heard you could. “Hey kitten..” he mumbled softly, his voice raspy from lack of sleep, you guessed. He turned towards you, and opened his arms for you.

“Hey love..” you crawl on his lap and hugged him. His chest touched yours as he held you.

“Everything okay..?” he asked softly. His hand gently rubbed circles on your back as he held you close. His hand was warm and soft. You felt so safe and second guessed your decision on doing the prank.

“Mhm.. just glad I didn’t break up with you that one time..” you muttered into his chest. Almost immediately the air felt like it had thickened.

He had slowed a bit. “Huh..?” He slopped a moment later, confused. It wasn’t something you would say normally.

“I was just thinking about how I’m glad I didn’t break up with you..” you muttered softly. Now regretting your decision.

He heard you loud and clear the first time. Though he wishes he didn’t. He bit his lip and shook his head. “Me too..” he muttered softly “I’m glad you didn’t..” His voice cracked softly. His arms tightened around you subconsciously.

“Babe..?” You looked up at him. It was like him to hide his feelings. You knew that. He knew that. Everyone knew that. Kenma wasn’t social. He never was and he probably will never be. You were worried. Of course you were. You loved him. You really loved him.

“Mhm?” He wasn’t looking at you anymore. His eyes pinned on his desk. It was a tactic of his, if he didn’t look at you maybe it would make it less awkward. It didn’t.

“Are you okay..?” You asked softly. You knew he wasn’t. You knew he was overthinking again. He always did. God fucking damnit. You shouldn’t have done this fucking dumb prank. He won’t even look at you at this point. You know you screwed up.

“I’m fine.” He blurted out. His responses were short and to the point. Which made you more worried.

“I’m joking baby.. I didn’t mean to worry you. It was supposed to be a prank okay? I love you so much. I never have and never will stop loving you..” you muttered softly.

A long much needed sigh of relief was heard, and then warm arms wrapped around you. “Thank fucking god.” It took him a moment to continue talking. “I don‘t know how I would react if you didn’t tell me it was a prank.. I would probably cry later or something.” he whispered.

It took a moment to take in the weight of the words. Not only had he told you how he felt, which was rare by itself. But he told you that he was going to cry. It might have been one of the only moments where you came to the realization of how much he loves you. Of course there was the occasional I love you’s and stuff but that just felt.. forced or something at times. So to hear that made you feel special.. or maybe a warm feeling inside to know everything was perfect right where it was.

“I’m sorry baby..” you whispered softly as your eyes met again. God, everything about you was.. perfect. Too perfect. Like you were a god sent from above and he was just some random person. You loved each other and that’s all that ever would matter.

“It’s okay..“ His eyes pinned on yours, as his grip was tight. “I love you, y/n..” he mumbled softly.

“I love you too.” You smiled a bit. It was everything you have ever needed. Him. The way he said your name just gave you butterflies. This was perfect. It wasn’t a bad idea in the end. It worked out perfectly.. and you were so glad.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[lilacyennefer]

Cardigan

A/N: Ever since I heard the song ‘Cardigan’ by Taylor Swift I knew that I’m going to write a fic based on the song, so here it is now! I was working on this piece the whole weekend because I wanted it to be really good, I honestly don’t know if I succeeded because I’m truly insecure about this one. Feedback is always appreciated ♥️ (I do NOT own the song or the lyrics, all credit goes to the original authors)

WARNING: none, maybe just a mention of a sick mother

For Angel, you’re always going to be that one thing in life that he will regret forever.

You were high school lovers, but even after graduating, you stayed together.

Your parents knew each other, your mother had a flower shop in front of Felipe’s butcher shop, on the other side of the road, and your mother was best friends with Marisol, meaning you spent your whole childhood with the Reyes brothers.

You were in the same age as Angel, and from the very first moment you met as children, the two of you clicked.

The two of you went into the same classes, always sat next to each other, talked about everything, until one day something shifted between you two, and you started falling in love with each other.

After high school, neither of you went to college, you helped your mother out with her flower shop, she needed some help, and Angel was prospecting to the local MC.

You stayed together, until you didn’t.

Remembering back to the days when the two of you were so young, and so in love, when you were dancing under the streetlights in the middle of the night on the empty streets of Santo Padre, or when you parked your car somewhere to make out without getting disturbed.

Thinking back to these memories, you still feel how Angel’s hands were sneaking their way up under your sweatshirt.

But almost 10 years passed since that one night happened that changed everything.

You wanted to surprise Angel at the clubhouse, you knew there will be a party tonight, he mentioned it to you, but you weren’t sure about joining him, so you said maybe, you’ll show up.

Angel took this as a no, he knew you didn’t like parties that much, you always went just because of him.

Bishop gave prospect Angel some free time, and many beers later Angel found a woman in his lap who wasn’t you.

Was he too drunk to refuse the flirting of the beautiful woman sitting on his lap, or was he young and foolish? Thinking back, Angel still doesn’t know the answer to that.

But that night lives in both of your memories painfully vividly, when you stepped into the clubhouse looking for Angel, only to find him making out with another woman.

Angel didn’t see you at first, he only saw you when you threw a drink on both of them, making them gasp, Angel angrily looked for the person who soaked both of them in the alcoholic drink, only to find you standing in front of him, angry as ever.

“It’s over!” Is all you say as you storm outside of the clubhouse, Angel trying to catch up with you, but you were already in your car, driving away.

That was the last moment he saw you, since that night you left the town, and you only came back to visit your mother in secret.

Angel Reyes regrets a lots of things in his life, but his ultimate regret is letting you go, and fucking up his relationship with you.

He was convinced that your love was that king of love that happens only once in 20 lifetimes. He once talked about this with Coco, and his answer to Angel was that he was young, and he knew nothing.

But, he knew that every kiss of yours lingered like a tattoo kiss, reminding him of the matching tattoo you got with him after both of you turned 18.

Back then, it seemed like a good idea, you were so convinced that you’ll stay together forever, nothing ever will break the two of you apart, so one night you presented your idea to Angel, who was more than down to it.

Deciding what you wanted was a lot more difficult, it caused not one argument until you found the idea that you both liked.

Both of you wrote down each other’s initials, so you got an “A” tattooed on you with Angel’s handwriting, and Angel got the first letter of your first name with your handwriting.

It was small, but meaningful.

The past 10 years Angel couldn’t stop thinking about the what-ifs, his questions haunted him.

What if that night you came earlier, before he fucked it all up?

What if it was just the matter of time, until he fucked it up?

What if it never happened and the two of you were still together?

What if you were already married, and have children?

The thought of seeing you walking down the aisle in a white dress made Angel’s heart clench, knowing it will never happen.

At first, he tried to find you, he went to your mother’s flower shop every day to ask about you, but your mother sent Angel away every time, although her heart broke for both of you.

Your mother adored Angel, and Angel adored your mother. She was always supportive of your relationship with the biker, she always said that Angel looks at you like you created the whole universe, with such love and adoration that she never saw before.

But you were her daughter, so she protected you.

10 years.

So many things happened in 10 years.

You cursed Angel for a very long time after you left, completely heartbroken.

You didn’t understand how he could do this to you, when everything was perfect.

But maybe that was the problem, because in this world, perfection is rare, and when you find it, it won’t stay with you for long.

Especially not in the world where Angel lives in.

Now as you were driving back to Santo Padre, thinking about that you have to move back because your mother got sick and she can’t take care of the shop anymore, made your stomach drop unpleasantly.

You knew that it was just the matter of time until Angel will know that you’re back in town, either he will see you, or someone else will, and they’ll tell him.

With every inch of your body, you wanted to push your feelings away that you still feel for Angel.

He not only left a mark on your body with the tattoo, but also on your heart and soul. He was your first love, your only love for that matter, your best friend, and even dare to say that, your soulmate.

After arriving back to Santo Padre, you moved in with your mother, so you could help her with the housework, and the next day, you started your day in the shop, more nervous than you ever were.

With a dry throat, and a knot in your stomach, you parked your car in front of your mother’s shop.

You took a few deep, calming breaths, and looked around the street, it was early morning, so it wasn’t that busy yet.

Getting out of the car, your eyes unconsciously shifted to the butcher shop in front of you, making your heart drop when you saw an old man reading his morning news paper in front of the shop.

It’s like he could sense it, Felipe turned his head towards your direction, his eyes finding you.

You cursed when you saw Felipe looking at you, but you ignored him as you opened the shop, preparing yourself for a scold from your mother, since she still were friends with the oldest Reyes man.

It was now just the matter of time until Angel hears that you’re in town. You try to mentally prepare yourself for the conversation, you don’t know anything about him other than him now being a full patched member of the MC.

The first few hours in the shop were relaxed, some of your mom’s friends came in to ask how she was doing, but other than that it was all quiet.

Your back was turned against the door as you were placing some decorations on the wall when you heard the bell ring, signaling you that someone entered the shop.

“Just a second!” You say without turning back as you do some finishing touches on the decoration.

“Do you still like iced coffee?” You hear a deep voice that you know so much ask, making you turn in horror.

After Felipe saw you, he immediately called Angel, letting him that you’re in town.

Felipe always loved you, he thought you were a good influence on Angel, and the two of you made a perfect pair.

When Angel got the phone call, his heart dropped, and he knew he had to do something. The hopeless romantic in Angel, a part of him only you saw and he buried deep down after you left, hoped that you would get back together with him, but realistically Angel just wanted to see you, and apologize to you.

He had no excuses, but he knew that you deserved an apology at least.

So Angel got himself together, he took a shower, he put on his nicest shirt, and his special cologne that he only used rarely.

When you were younger, and you had an argument with Angel, the next day he always brought you your favourite iced coffee as a peace offering.

Angel hoped you still liked iced coffee as he was picking it up from your favourite place in town, then heading towards the flower shop.

You knew this moment would come, when you meet with Angel again after all those years, but you could never prepare for this moment.

Angel looked amazing, he aged like fine wine, he definitely looked a lot more mature than when you left him, but you still could feel his playful charm that you loved so much, what now was invisible under his nervousness.

“I do.” You nod, your voice is small.

Angel hesitantly steps closer to you, placing the cup of coffee down on the counter in front of you.

He was more nervous than he thought he would be, as he was looking at you, he suddenly forgot everything that he wanted to say.

“Y/N, look.” Angel sighs, he nervously shifts his weight on his legs “I don’t have any excuse about what happened. I know it’s late, but I want you to know that I’m really sorry what happened. I regret it every day of my life.”

You listen to his words, tearing up the old wounds, making your heart ache once again.

You’re silent for a while, not knowing what to say as you look at the man who used to mean the world to you.

“Here’s my phone number and address.” Angel says as he places a small paper next to your coffee “In case you want to talk.” And with that, he left the shop.

This is definitely not how Angel planned to see you again. During getting ready, and picking up the coffee for you, he prepared a full speech to you, telling everything he wanted in a few minutes. But when he saw you he froze, being more nervous than he ever was.

Once again, Angel cursed himself as he drove away from your shop, leaving you alone with your coffee.

You didn’t get a chance to say anything to Angel since he stormed out of the shop, leaving you speechless. You silently picked up the iced coffee, its smell bringing a smile to your lips from the old memories, when you were happy with Angel.

While sipping the coffee, you constantly stared at the piece of paper that was still on the counter where Angel left it. Finally picking the paper up it felt really heavy in your hand, the emotional weight of it sitting heavily on your soul.

Angel made his first move, and now it’s clearly your turn to decide what to do. So many happened during 10 years, so many changed, and so many stayed the same.

You were still hurt by what he did, but you weren't angry anymore, but you always avoided Angel because you were afraid of your feelings, afraid that you’ll get hurt again just by seeing him, and you didn’t want to put yourself through that. But you undeniably still had feelings for Angel, something that you could never get rid of, your mother always said that you were soulmates, and that’s why you could never truly get over him.

Making the decision that at least you should get the chance to talk to him, after closing the shop you picked up some food from a local restaurant, and headed towards the address that he gave you.

Parking your car in front of his house, you saw his bike parked there, signaling you that he’s at home, hopefully alone.

You nervously knock on his door, holding your breath as you wait for him to open the door, seconds later the door opens, finding yourself face to face with a very surprised Angel.

“Are you hungry?” You hold up the bag full of food “I figured we should talk.”

Angel nods, opening the door wilder, letting you step into his house.

“I brought our old favourites, I hope that’s okay.” You say nervously.

You look up at Angel, you can see the earlier nervousness on his face.

You take a deep breath and say “I think it's easier if we talk first.”

“I’m sorry—“ Angel starts, shaking his head.

“What happened that night?” You cut him off, not caring about the excuses.

Angel sighs as he drops his shoulders “I honestly don’t know. I had too many drinks and I fucked it up. I could blame it on the drinks, but I won’t. I don’t want to bullshit you. I fucked it up, and I regret it every fucking minute of my life.”

You silently watch him. You always knew when Angel lied, you don’t know how, but you could always feel when he’s not telling the truth. But right now, you can tell that he’s saying the truth, and he’s actually sorry for what happened.

“I believe you.”

Your words made Angel let out a loud sigh, making him feel like years and years of pain was lifted off his shoulders.

“Y/N.” Angel whispers your name “I need to know. I need to know if there’s still a chance.”

Angel couldn’t wait with his question, he knew it was risky, but the uncertainty was slowly killing him, and he already wasted a decade, he didn’t want to wait any longer.

“I’m honestly not sure, Angel.” You shake your head “Let’s just eat, talk, and see what happens, okay?” Angel nods “It’s more than I could hope for.”

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone's bed, You put me on and said I was your favorite.

Taglist: @gemini0410 @rosieposie0624 @blessedboo @yourwonkywriter @chibsytelford @mayans-sauce @mrsmarvelous1995 @phoenixhalliwell @rocketqueen @witching-hour @starrynite7114 @bellisperennis0

[handy-dandy-monster-candy]

Jayson, part One

Rating: SFW Length: 1690 Pairing: Male Croc Lizardman x Male Reader (both cis)

xxx

It’s Latin night at the local community centre, and you’re not sure if the earth is shaking or if it’s just your nerves. It’s your turn to dance with Jayson tonight, the handsome crocodilian lizardman who’s been the centre of attention since your dance classes began. He’s experienced at all sorts of dances, more agile than you’d expect for someone almost eight feet tall, and he’s been sweeping the little old ladies right off their feet—sometimes literally.

You’d initially joined the yoga classes held at the centre, but the time slots didn’t line up with the dance classes, so you never saw head or tail of the lizardman before the night poor old Mr. Grims slipped a disc doing an advanced pose at the end of the session. You decided to stick around with him until the ambulance came, keeping him company until he was loaded up and carted away from the centre towards the hospital a few blocks away.

That’s when Jayson approached you, coffee held in a delicate pincer grip in one hand and speakers held in the other, to ask you what had happened. He had deep green scales and brilliant golden-green eyes, with a body that looked like he could bench you in his sleep. He had a ready smile when he introduced himself to you, and the sympathy in his voice when he learned of Mr. Grim’s accident sounded sincere.

It was no surprise that you gravitated to the event hall after yoga let out that night, and what you saw made you wonder why you’d never considered dancing before. People of all ages and species crowded into the event hall, swing dancing at all skill levels and laughing throughout. It looked fun, and of course Jayson was at the centre of it all, bopping and weaving through the dancers and calling out encouragement and playful critiques. He was one of the instructors, you realised, and on impulse, you signed up for the next week’s class.

Flexibility, you quickly learned after Mrs. MacDougall bent you backwards over her knee, was invaluable in Jayson’s dance class. You thanked your lucky stars that you had decided to take yoga first, or you think you would have ended up in Mr. Grim’s place. Each week, you dance to a different genre, though Jayson always finds a way to put a spin on it. Last week you learned the choreography that Jayson and his fellow instructor Lindsa put together to Doja Cat’s Boss Bitch, which starred some impressive ballet on Lindsa’s behalf. They each pick a different dancer to give special instruction to each week, and this time, it’s your turn to be what feels like the sole focus of the big reptilian man you’ve developed a weak-kneed crush on. When the trumpets start blaring in Ilegales’ song Como Un Trueno, you almost jump out of your skin, and judging by the way Jayson laughs, he’d noticed.

“Alright, from the top!” Jayson calls, his gravelly voice warm and rough with amusement. “Loosen up, Ilario. Greta, sweetheart, go easy on him.”

“He’d better keep up!” Mrs. MacDougall says instead, earning herself a rare laugh from Lindsa on the other side of the room. You watch with sympathy as she drags the aforementioned man out onto the dance floor, looking more like a prisoner gamely meeting his end at the gallows than a willing dance partner.

“Ready?” Jayson asks you, and you wonder how you ever took your eyes off the charismatic reptile.

“As I’ll ever be,” you say, smiling cheerfully up at Jayson and taking his proffered hand.

“You’re shaking like a leaf,” Jason laughs, his feet starting to move along with the serpentine motions of his hips.

“I can’t help it,” you reply around a laugh of your own, following his lead and allowing him to dance you around the room. “I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” Jayson eyes you incredulously. “You?”

“Yes, me! Everyone’s looking at us.”

“I’m an instructor,” Jayson preens, his pride in his position making you smile again. “They have to look at me.”

“Well, yeah,” you say, concentrating very hard on not stepping on the larger man’s feet. “You’re hard to look away from.”

Jayson grins at this slip. “Am I?”

You curse your distracted tongue, but you don’t regret having this conversation. Yet. “Oh, definitely,” you shoot back, and the smug gleam in Jayson’s eyes makes you want to swat him and kiss him all at once. “You’re so big, how could I miss you?”

“Larger than life, baby,” Jayson replies, picking up the pace and twirling you like a top around him. You’re a little dizzy by the time he urges you into another set of moves, pliable with disorientation and the thrill of letting such a big man take control of your body and manhandle you however he likes. “Just let it happen,” he says in your ear, and he clears a space in the hall for you two to take centre stage.

His hands on your waist are the only warning you get before you’re airborne, your body weaving over his shoulders and between his legs in a way that makes your head spin. You somehow manage to make your feet keep moving when they find their way to the floor again, though it isn’t long before you’re twirled and spun and tossed this way and that. The feel of his muscles through his clothing is a sensation that you’ll not soon forget, and his hands feel like brands wherever they touch, hot and huge and capable. You’ve never trusted someone this implicitly with your safety, and the thrill is enough to leave you breathless.

The song ends in a sharp crescendo of brass and with your body dipped between Jayson’s muscular thighs. Your heart is pounding so hard that you barely hear the applause from the other dancers, your chest heaving and your eyes locked on Jayson’s handsome face. “You okay down there?” he asks, and you want to swat him all over again.

“Thinking I should have worn anything but sweatpants,” you quip back, drawing his eyes down to your erection between you. He straightens and manages to discreetly shield you with his bulk as you rearrange yourself. Jayson seamlessly draws attention to himself and critiques dancers nearby, moving to adjust positions and laughingly reminding others to be more careful of their partners’ feet.

You move away to hide, hydrate, and watch Jayson work the room, so you miss the way that Lindsa weaves toward you until she’s leaning against the wall beside you, asking, “You and Jay-Sun, huh?”

You nearly jump out of your skin. As it is, the water in your mouth goes the completely wrong direction, and you have to accept her help pounding it out of your lungs. “Me and what?” you choke out, eyes watering.

“Oh, don’t jerk me around,” Lindsa says with a sharp smirk, tawny eyes gleaming. She’s unnaturally beautiful even for a harpy, with sandy yellow feathers that match her hair and wide, egg-bearing hips. She’s canny and clever, and though she’s a good and patient teacher, there’s a ruthlessness about her that makes you feel as though you’d be hunted before you’d be courted.

You frown. “I guess,” you say with a shrug. “I like him. What of it?”

“He’ll want to date you,” Lindsa replies without ceremony, idly preening her wing feathers and watching you with unblinking eyes. “I happen to like the guy. Hurt him, and I’ll read your entrails for filth.”

This exchange leaves you entirely flabbergasted—so much so that you spend the rest of class distracted by your thoughts. Jayson notices, and his personality turns up to 11. You find it hard not to smile at his antics and his peacocking amuses you, though you catch Lindsa eyeing you both more often than not for the rest of the session. At the end of the class, Jayson makes a beeline for you and you struggle not to flee under his almost predatory gaze, standing your ground and smiling up at him.

“What’s going on?” he asks without preamble, resting a hand on the wall high above your head. “You’ve been out of your head since we first danced. Did Lindsa get hold of you?”

Your smile falls, and you feel more than a little exposed. Were you that easy to read? “Am I that obvious?” you ask, laughing nervously.

“Hardly,” says Jayson, grinning widely and displaying all his sharp teeth. “More like she’s about as subtle as a brick to the head. She threaten you?”

You nod, speechless.

Jayson snorts and shouts, “Lindsa!” over his shoulder, earning himself a cool look from the intimidating harpy. “Stay out of my love life!”

“I will when you make good decisions,” Lindsa drawls back, and you frown. Are you not a good choice?

Jayson shakes his head, dismissing her and turning his attention back to you. “Don’t listen to the old bird.”

“I’ll turn you into a handbag, Sunny,” Lindsa says without lifting her eyes from the gym bag she’s packing. “And a new pair of boots.”

“As if any part of me could handle those thighs,” Jayson scoffs, waving his hand and smiling down at you. “Like I said, don’t listen to her. She’s just protective of me because I’m younger. Are you free this weekend?”

“Um, yeah,” you say, caught off guard by the banter between the pair and looking between them with something like wariness. Was this going to be an issue?

Jayson notices your unease and leans in close enough that you can look into his eyes and smell his cologne, lowering his voice so only you can hear. “Hey,” he murmurs. “It’s really not a big deal. She does this to everyone I wanna date. Just ignore it and focus on me. Can you do that for me?”

The way he seems to have eyes only for you brings you out of the mire of your thoughts, and you find yourself smiling up at Jayson all over again. “Yeah,” you say. “I can.”

Jayson grins, and you’re surprised to find that lizardmen can have dimples. “Perfect.”

[flourgirl]

Sick of Losing Soulmates

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Months after you and Peter have broken up, you run into each other at Harry’s Christmas party.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Both fluffy and angsty. Mentions of alcohol and sex. A mild amount of curse words.

A/N: I’m ALIVE! I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season, and Merry Christmas to everybody that celebrates it! I am so happy to be able to share my work with all of you! Enjoy <3

“And maybe we got lost in translation Maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece Till you tore it all up” -All Too Well, Taylor Swift

He wasn’t supposed to be here. Harry had promised you that his roommate would be spending the holidays with May back in Queens. But here he was, wearing the sweater that you had given him last year with his arm snaked around another girl’s waist.

“Hey!” Betty grinned, throwing her arms around you. She had a half-empty glass of mulled wine that you could tell was doing a good job of getting her tipsy. “I’ve missed you so much, Y/N. We never see each other anymore.”

She pouted, a pair of reindeer antlers where her signature black headband usually sat. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” you assured her, still staring at Peter effortlessly carrying the conversation with a bunch of people you didn’t recognize. “Uh, who’s the girl with Peter?”

“Gwen Stacy,” she muttered, obviously not a very big fan. You figured it was because there was only room for one preppy blonde girl, and Betty didn’t feel like sharing that position with anybody else. “Don’t worry though! It’s nothing serious. Peter actually hasn’t really dated anybody ever since the two of you…”

Her voice trailed off as you locked eyes with her, silently communicating for her to drop the subject. It was a relief to know that he hadn’t moved on, but the fact that he was wrapped up in a fling with somebody else still made your heart hurt.

“Come on, Y/N. I’m sure MJ and Ned would love to see you! They’re over in the kitchen.” She reached for your hand, dragging you along through Harry’s expertly decorated apartment. 

You dropped the box of cookies that you had baked on the counter before tapping MJ on the shoulder. She was turned away from you, lecturing Ned on why his secondhand Beyblades were not acceptable Christmas presents.

“Who the hell is touching me?” she snapped, turning around with a look on her face that told you she was ready to throw hands. “Holy fuck. Y/N! How long have you been here?”

MJ’s frown faded into a smile as she pulled you into a side-hug, her other hand busy nursing a glass of Harry’s infamously terrible eggnog. “Only a few minutes,” you laughed, your face smushed into her torso. 

“Hi,” Ned piped up, offering a small wave. You could tell he didn’t really know where he stood ever since his best friend basically ripped your heart out and threw it on the floor. Well, it wasn’t actually that dramatic, but he had a flair for exaggerating stories. “Remember me?”

“Of course, stupid,” you grinned, offering a fist bump that he happily accepted. “How could I forget those iconic fits of yours?”

“True,” he said, popping his collar and doing a little twirl that made Betty and MJ roll their eyes. “You look pretty fly too, though.”

“Thanks,” you replied, holding the edge of your dress as you curtsied, something you and Ned had made a habit of doing as the so-called best dressed members of the group.

“You two are just as ridiculous as ever,” Betty mused, happy to see you still fit in just as perfectly as when you were Peter’s girlfriend, even if you weren’t around as much.

The reunion was interrupted by the loud chatter of a certain couple, and your heart sank as you watched a very drunk Peter and Gwen stumble towards the kitchen, a giggling mess. They situated themselves under the archway that separated the two rooms, a piece of mistletoe conveniently hanging above them. 

You could tell that MJ was ready to put a stop to her friend’s embarrassing behavior, and the looks on Ned and Betty’s faces told you that they had no intentions of holding her back. 

“They’re so gross,” MJ complained, setting down her untouched cup before excusing herself to drag Peter out of his drunken makeout session. “I can’t believe he’d do that when you’re right here!”

“Wait, MJ,” you blurted, grabbing onto her wrist to stop her. She turned to face you, her eyebrows furrowed. “It’s okay. I don’t care about it. I’m just going to head to the bathroom, alright? I’ll be right back.”

You did your best to stop yourself from tearing up, although you realized you had made the utter mistake of forgetting that the very arch that Peter and Gwen were sucking each other’s faces under was the only way out of the kitchen.

Not even a few moments of you awkwardly standing next to them, occasionally clearing your throat, made them notice you. Eventually, the discomfort grew too heavy, and you tapped Peter on the shoulder. He finally pulled away from Gwen, her lipstick smudged across his mouth and a dazed look on his face.

Gwen whimpered at the loss of his kiss, obviously annoyed at the random girl that had just interrupted them. As soon as Peter recognized that it was you, he stepped away from her, wiping his mouth and fixing the hair she had been running her hands through, just like you used to.

“Y/N. I didn’t know that you’d be here,” he reasoned, a blush spreading across his face as a sense of regret settled into his stomach. 

“Obviously,” you sighed. This wasn’t the Peter you knew—the sweet, shy one that you had fallen in love with. “You guys are blocking the hallway, by the way.”

“Shit, sorry,” he stammered, stepping aside to allow you to pass in between them. He followed you, leaving Gwen irritated and confused as to who you were. “Y/N. Can we talk later?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nice sweater, though,” you quipped, not even turning back to meet his gaze before climbing the stairs towards the guest bathroom. Everything felt all too familiar, memories of you and Peter stumbling up the same steps after a date flooding your brain.

The first time Peter had kissed you was after MJ’s birthday party. Neither of you had been drinking, since you hated alcohol and Peter refused to touch any before he turned 21. This meant that you got to spend the whole night laughing at everybody else’s drunken mischief. 

In the middle of his performance of some Nicki Minaj song, Ned managed to spill a whole can of beer on you and Peter, which resulted in many cheers as the two of you ran to his room to grab a change of clothes. Shirts came off, confessions were made, and the party went on without you guys.

You took a deep breath, shutting the bathroom door behind you and sitting on the edge of the bathtub. If you had known Peter would end up being here, you would have never accepted Harry’s invitation. There were so many old wounds being opened up that you had spent months trying to heal, and you weren’t sure some stupid Christmas party was worth it. 

But you didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t fair how much the break up had stolen from you. All of your friends were here and you were tired of shying away from going out with them anymore because you were too scared to see Peter. Too scared that you would never be able to stop being in love with him.

By the time you rejoined the rest of your friends, Harry was announcing that it was time to start the game of White Elephant. You bit the edges of your fingernails as the party guests filed into Harry’s living room, hoping that Peter wouldn’t somehow pick your present.

“What’d you bring?” you asked Betty, squishing in next to her on the couch. 

“Gift card to In-N-Out,” she giggled, satisfied that her present could only be used on the other side of the country. “But Harry’s rich friends might not have any trouble flying their private jets to California, so maybe I’m not as clever as I thought.”

“Heard that,” Harry said, leaning behind you on the edge of the couch. He placed a quick kiss on your cheek, something the two of you had always done as friends but stopped once you started dating Peter. “Hey, Y/N. Glad you could make it.”

“Hey, you,” you replied, smiling back at him, your leg bouncing impatiently. “We doing this thing or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute,” he laughed, running out of the room. Moments later, he came back wearing a fake beard and a Santa hat, complete with a miniature sack of toys. 

“Alright, boys and girls. Let’s get this game started! Hopefully you all know the rules, but I’ll repeat them anyway. I draw a name out of the sack, you pick a random present and open it up for everybody to see. The next person that goes can either steal your gift or pick a new one. If your gift gets stolen, you get to do the same. No stealing twice!”

The first couple of people you didn’t really know, and they had all pulled presents that were relatively uninteresting. A scented candle, toilet paper, a pair of socks. Nothing you really considered worth stealing, although Ned ended up taking a framed, autographed photo of Harry from MJ, which resulted in her stealing Gwen’s mini waffle iron.

By the time it was your turn, there weren’t many gifts left. Going with your gut, you grabbed the bag covered in glittering polar bears. Reaching past all of the tissue paper stuffed inside, you pulled out a red sweatshirt that you unfolded to see had a large graphic of Spider-Man printed on it. 

“Oh,” you said, a little confused. The only people you knew that wore stuff with the Avengers on it were little kids, but you figured that was part of the joke. “I mean, I prefer Captain America, but thanks, whoever this is from!”

Peter’s face blushed to a shade of red, amazed that out of all the presents, you picked his. The only issue was that you didn’t know that he was actually the guy on the front of it. Nobody except Ned knew, although he was sure that MJ and Harry had caught on to his secret identity by now.

“Okay, two people left. Jake, you’re up next, buddy,” Harry called out, happily bouncing around the room, his Santa hat now replaced with a baseball cap that had “I Love Ned!” embroidered on it. You watched nervously as he walked around the room, eyeing up all of the presents before settling on the tiny, golden box that you had placed under the tree when you first arrived.

“Let’s see what we’re working with,” he smirked. Your thoughts raced, immediately feeling a sense of regret over the gift you had picked. “Oh, shit. Sweet! I’ve got a date with Y/N!”

“Sup, baby,” Jake continued, his words slightly slurred. He pointed at you and winked, and you offered him a polite smile in return. “We’re gonna have a good time. Just name the time and place and I got you.”

“Awesome, congrats, man,” Harry said, obviously ready for the game to be over. It had been going for way longer than any of you had expected, mostly due to the fact that two girls wouldn’t stop arguing over a piece of rose quartz. “Okay, we’re nearly finished, guys. Peter, you’re up. Pick any of the gifts that haven’t been stolen yet, or the last one under the tree.”

You locked eyes with him, a familiar scowl on his face that told you he was thinking really hard about which gift to pick. His spidey-senses felt your heartbeat pick up as he walked around the room before stopping in front of Jake, who was busy gloating to his friend about how “hot” you were. Your face heated up as you watched Peter take the little note that you had written out of Jake’s hands, smugly gesturing for him to pick up the present under the tree.

He waved sheepishly at you, and you felt both relieved and angry at his decision. Did you want to go on that date with Jake? No. Were you still mad that, technically, you now had to go out with your ex-boyfriend? Yes.

The game ended and the party-goers dispersed throughout the apartment. You lingered in your spot on the couch, your arms crossed and heart full of mixed emotions. Peter, whose gaze never strayed from you, walked over to where you were sitting.

“We don’t actually have to go out,” he whispered, hoping that you’d actually look at him this time. “I just didn’t think you wanted to go out with that guy. He seemed like kind of an asshole.”

“Yeah, well, it would have been nice if you let me decide that. You’re not my boyfriend, anymore Peter. We aren’t even friends. You don’t get a say in who I go out on dates with,” you grumbled, your eyes focusing on everything in the room except for him.

Before you could say anything else, Peter had already grabbed you by the hand, dragging you away from the rest of the party. Strangely enough, you went along with it, a little curious to hear him out.

You started to remember your first date, and it was almost like you could hear his excited laughter after you finally managed to knock a pin down. It became a tradition that whenever you had something to celebrate, Peter would pick you up and twirl you around until you had to beg him to stop.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Peter slamming the door behind him and cornering you against it, his heartbeat racing. He had pulled you into the laundry room. “I can’t stand seeing you with anybody else,” he panted, eyes flickering down towards your mouth.

His hand pushed a piece of your hair behind your ear, and your breath hitched as you felt his rough fingertips against your skin. But before he could lean in to kiss you, you were ducking underneath his arm and backing away.

“Peter, we really shouldn’t,” you whispered, watching the disappointment wash over his face. No matter how much you wanted to kiss him, you just couldn't forget how he had broken your heart months ago. “It’s over, okay?”

“Y/N, please. I—”

“You what? You love me? Because last time we were together, I told you how much I loved you and you said that we should break up. Remember?” you cried, embarrassed at how you couldn’t control your emotions anymore. “You’re just… you’re too late.”

You fumbled with the door, slipping through the opening before rushing towards the balcony. As soon as the cold air hit you, a wave of relief washed over your body, and you laid your head against the metal railing. Your breathing slowed and time seemed to stand still as you watched the snowflakes flutter through the wind.

“Peter’s an idiot,” you heard a voice call out from behind you. You turned to see Harry holding an extra coat in his arms, and you started to wonder just how long you had been standing out there. He draped it over your shoulders before leaning next to you against the balcony’s edge.

“Huh?” you asked, wondering if he knew what had just happened. You looked at him, the multicolored Christmas lights reflecting off his shiny hair. “What do you mean?”

“He’s stupid for ever letting you go,” he remarked. He had a look in his eyes that made you unsure of what he actually meant. “I mean, look at you. You’re so beautiful, and smart, and funny. And if he was dumb enough to throw all of that away, then yeah, Peter’s an idiot.”

“Oh, thanks, I guess,” you shrugged, your voice faint under the music that was still playing inside. You looked at him, his cheeks a rosy hue, which you couldn’t tell was from the cold or whatever he was trying to tell you.

“You know, I used to have the biggest crush on you,” Harry admitted, laughing a little bit at how nervous he was. Everybody knew that he was a player, so being flustered over a girl was uncharted territory for him. “I never told you this, but you were my first kiss.”

“Wait, really?” you asked, a little shocked at his confession. “But I thought you kissed Sarah Emerson on the playground in the fifth grade?”

“Nope. I was just a liar,” he grinned, running a hand through his hair. “It was right before our eighth grade formal, when you asked me to teach you how to kiss because you were scared that Jeremy Pellegrino was going to try and french you.

“Oh! I forgot all about that,” you laughed, suddenly remembering just how long you and Harry had been friends. “Hold on a second... You gave me kissing lessons without knowing how to kiss!?”

“Guilty,” Harry chuckled as you punched him on the arm. “Ow! Damn, Y/N. When did you get so strong?”

“I have a lot of rage,” you mumbled before the two of you burst out into laughter, which slowly faded into a comfortable silence. 

“You don’t feel that way anymore, right?” you wondered out loud. Harry looked at you, smiling softly.

“No, not anymore,” he affirmed, and you let out a sigh of relief. You knew what it felt like to love someone and not be loved back. “I think what really helped me get over it was seeing how happy you and Parker were when you were dating.” 

“He misses you a lot,” Harry continued, his tone more serious than before. “He keeps this scarf that you left behind under his pillow because it still smells like you. I found out because he was having a pretty bad dream one night and I had to try really hard to calm him back down. And we both thought Gwen would help him move on and get his mind off of you, but I think she only made him realize just how much he still loves you—”

“Harry,” you interrupted, cutting his rambles short. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because you and Peter should be together.”

“You think so?” you asked him, pulling the jacket tighter to keep you warm.

“Yeah. We all do.” It took only seconds for Harry to realize his fumble, accidentally admitting that the whole thing had been planned by him and your friends.

“We?” Your frowned, all of the coincidences from tonight suddenly making much more sense. “Wait, did you know that Peter was going to be here tonight all along?”

“Uh… yeah, about that. MJ, Ned, and I have kind of been pulling a Parent Trap on you guys.”

“HARRY!” You glared inside to see them not-so-secretly watching the entire exchange from behind the Christmas tree. Ned did some awkward finger guns, which MJ immediately swatted down. “I am so going to get you guys!”

You marched inside to where your friends were attempting to hide, the rest of the party guests too drunk and oblivious to notice what was happening. 

“The eagle has left the nest. I repeat, The eagle has left the nest!” Ned yelled, ducking behind MJ, who was already shielding herself with a throw pillow.

“What’s going on?” Betty whined, half-asleep on the couch. “Is this that stupid plan about Peter and Y/N?”

“It’s not stupid!” Harry grumbled, his voice cracking a little bit. You could hear MJ snorting about it from her hiding spot. “Whatever, Michelle.”

“Shut up!” she shouted back.

“No, you!” he said, crossing his arms and standing his ground.

“Make me,” MJ said, narrowing her eyes and shooting daggers at him.

“Uh, guys. This isn’t about you two,” Ned interrupted, snapping them out of their mini argument. There was a weird tension between them that you just knew you would have to address some time in the future.

“Right,” MJ continued, sticking a middle finger up at Harry before turning to you. “Y/N. You should go talk to Peter.”

You nodded, exchanging hopeful looks with each of your friends before walking away. They might be dramatic goofballs, but you loved them so much that you didn’t really care.

Wandering around the party, you spotted Peter trapped in a conversation with Brad Davis, who was explaining his conspiracy theories about the Denver Airport and its demonic horse statue.

“So, all I’m saying is that they’re totally planning the end of the world over there. I mean, the Freemasons built an entire bunker for when they activate the nukes!” he rambled, Peter politely nodding along to his nonsense.

“Hey,” you said, tapping Brad on the shoulder and batting your eyelashes at him. “Can I borrow Peter?”

“Uh, yeah, totally, Y/N,” he stuttered, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards into a smirk. You could smell the peppermint Schnapps on his breath.

“Great. Thanks, Brad!” you smiled, grabbing Peter’s hand and pulling him towards the staircase. By the time you made it to his bedroom, he had already asked what was going on about ten times.

“Why’d you dump me?” you asked, the two of you sitting together on the edge of his bed, your knee brushing against his. He could tell you were wasting no time in getting to the point. “Be honest.”

He stared at the floor, unsure of how to answer your question. You reached for his hand, running your thumb across his knuckles until he looked up to see you smiling at him. His eyes were starting to water. “Just tell me, Peter. It’s okay.”

“I was scared,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I was scared of how much I love you. I mean, Liz was just a crush, and Gwen was a hookup. I’ve only ever loved you, Y/N. Before we met, I had to watch May’s heart break day after day when we lost Uncle Ben, and when I realized how much I loved you... I just wasn’t sure if I could handle ever losing you like that. And so I felt like I needed to protect you from all of the people who would want to hurt you.”

“Hey, Peter. Calm down. I’m right here,” you whispered, wiping a tear from his face. You watched as his breathing slowed, eventually evening out. “Why would anybody want to hurt me?”

“Because…” he started, hesitating a little bit. “Because I’m Spider-Man.”

Your eyes grew big as you mulled over what he had just said. “Are you being serious right now?”

He nodded, feeling a weight lift from his chest. Your eyes followed him as he walked over to his closet, digging around through piles of clothes before he found what he was looking for.

“Holy shit,” you breathed out. Peter was holding up Spider-Man’s suit. His suit. The sweatshirt from earlier made a lot more sense now.

“I would never lie to you,” he said, folding it up and sitting back down. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I thought I was doing the right thing—that you’d be safe—but I was so stupid. I, uh, I think about you all the time. I worry whether you’ve gotten home alright and how your little brother’s doing and if your mom got the promotion that she wanted and—”

You cut him off with a kiss, something you had been dying to do ever since you shut his bedroom door. “I forgive you,” you sighed, gently playing with his hair.

Peter stared back at you, a grin slowly spreading across his face. “Does this mean that we’re back together?”

“Yep,” you confirmed, before leaning into another kiss. And another. And another.

“Wait,” Peter said, breaking away from you. “I have a present for you. It’s actually from when we first started dating, but I was waiting until Christmas to give it to you.”

He moved to his desk, digging through one of the drawers before pulling out a flash drive. “Here it is,” he smiled, dropping it into your hand. It had your name scribbled on it next to a cat sticker. “It’s a playlist. Of all the songs that make me think of you. I think it’s got around a hundred on there?”

“Wow,” you beamed, marveling at the little piece of plastic in your hand. “You’re making me look bad. I didn’t get you anything.”

“Not true. You owe me a date, remember?” he reminded you, wiggling his eyebrows and pulling you into his lap.

“You’re right. Let me think,” you hummed, running through all the ideas of what the two of you could do. “Oh! I got it. The Central Park Squirrel Census for this year just got released. What if we analyzed the data? You could do the wrangling and I could do the visualizations!”

“I love you so much,” he laughed, pressing a kiss onto the tip of your nose. You giggled as Peter buried his face into your shoulder, his grip around your waist tightening. “But you are such a nerd.”

“I’m your nerd, Parker,” you agreed, leaning further into his embrace. “Always have been and always will be.”

—————-

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[all1e23]

Between the Stars [Pt.10]

Pairings:  Bucky x  Reader

Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death. **Smut.** 18+ please and thanks. 

A/N:  This chapter has my whole Goddamn heart. I wasn’t planning on posting. I am just going to see how this goes y’all. As always  my beautiful beta @moonbeambucky​​​​​​ made sure this wasn’t trash and I adore her. If you like it write me a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

The last month has been the hardest thirty days since Steve died and the heartache you were feeling had nothing to do with that loss.

Things between you and Bucky have been awkward since his late night confession. You didn’t know how to feel about any of this. Bucky admitting he loved you when you were kids was not something you ever saw as a possibility. Or maybe you convinced yourself it wasn’t one. Looking back now, there were moments that it was obvious. Right there in your face, shining brighter than the sun, and you chose to ignore it. Even after you married Steve, there were times you caught Bucky staring in such a way it stole your breath; he never tried to hide it, or at least he wasn’t great at hiding it. He became angry with you every time you attempted to set him up with someone, and then there was the night out, everyone had been drinking and things were said that shouldn’t have been. The jealousy you felt at the thought of Bucky finding another girl pretty enough to take her home still stings. You hadn’t realized it was jealousy until now, but it was. The anger in Bucky’s eyes that same night when he told you not everyone could be as amazing as your husband — he couldn’t be Steve. 

You’ve never wanted Bucky to be Steve. Now you were wondering if he even knew that?

While the truth made everything a lot clearer, that didn’t mean that any of it made sense. If anything, things between you only became more complicated now that you knew his secrets. Bucky felt the divide as much if not more than you, and began spending more time away from the house. It started with taking his bike out for a drive that would last several hours at a time. He would come home long after you had fallen asleep and you suspected it was so he wouldn’t have to talk about all the things that needed to be said. You didn’t want to talk. You just wanted to lay with him. 

Things quickly spun out from there.

More and more, his days were spent with Sam or visiting his mom. What could you say? Please stay here with me instead of visiting your mother and sister? It wasn’t like when he first came home. Not that you were anywhere close to being healed or normal or whatever everyone around you expected you to be, but you could get up and live. You didn’t need him to be the crutch that kept you breathing. You could breathe all on your own. So, you let him go without a word, hoping things would go back to normal. Or, a new normal? You didn’t want to forget everything that was shared or pretend you weren’t feeling the way you’ve been feeling these last few months. You did want Bucky; you wanted him back home with you. You know how selfish it made you, and you didn’t care. 

That selfishness quickly turned into desperation. You were desperate to have him back, you tried over and over to make plans. Resorting to scheduling time with your best friend, the man who lived in your house just to get some time alone with him, but it was next to impossible. There have been more canceled plans than plans followed through the last three weeks. Bucky was avoiding you. There was no point in sugar-coating it to spare your feelings. Most nights he spent away from you were spent with Sam, and you knew that. Still, it hurt to know he simply didn’t want to be around you. When Bucky finally makes his way home, he always smells like bourbon. Those evenings you spend alone, but on the rare occasions he does come back in time to sleep with you, he sleeps facing you so you could rest your forehead against his chest or bicep. 

Even those moments were few and far between lately thanks to an incident two weeks ago. Bucky stumbled into bed thinking you were asleep, and in his tipsy state, he whispered some things that will forever be etched into your memories.

“I should have chased after you—that night. I should have made sure you knew I loved you,” you could hear the disgust in his voice, and you wanted to sit up and tell him you were awake. You shouldn’t be listening to this when he never meant for you to know these secrets. “I should have told Dot to go find someone else because I belonged to you. Had since we met. Wouldn't have changed much, though. Once Steve kissed you, I could see it, it was like you woke up or somethin’. I’ve never seen you smile at anyone like that. Let alone at me.” 

It was silent after that, and you thought he had fallen asleep, but then you felt him press a kiss to the side of your head, and he whispered into the dark, “Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to tell you when you’re awake.” 

He didn’t know how much you knew, but it was clear just saying the words out loud pushed you further away. You hated this and wished you could take it back. You wished you never brought up that night and kept your childish notions to yourself. If only you could take it all back, change the way you felt then maybe things would be okay again. 

The house was quiet when you snuck in the back door. You told Bucky this morning you would be gone all night, out with Wanda for a girl’s night so that he could have the house all to himself. That part was genuine. You had gone out, but the longer you were out, and the more time you spent away from Bucky, the more you wanted to be with him. You ended up calling it an early evening and waited in the dark until you saw Bucky head out onto the back porch with a small glass in his hand. 

He hasn’t wanted to see you lately, anyway. 

Steve’s hidden stash of whiskey was on the counter, and your heart hurt at the sight. You catch sight of Bucky leaning on the back porch, red dot glowing between his lips and three fingers of amber liquid floating in his glass. You quickly scurried upstairs and crept into your room, opening the door just enough to slip in because the squeak in the hinge will give you away. You heard the glass doors off the kitchen shut and a glass clinking against another, you closed your eyes and forced yourself to stay put and get ready for bed. There was nothing you could do to help him when he didn't want to see you. 

Bucky trudged up the stairs, carrying his bruised and beaten heart behind him. The soft yellow light spilling into the hallway from your bedroom had him stopping. Your door cracked several inches. It wasn’t like that before. He slowly moved towards the open door enough to spot you standing in front of the long dresser on the far side of your bed by the bay window. You were slowly undoing the buttons of your shirt after shimming out of your jeans, and Bucky couldn’t move even though he knew he shouldn’t be watching you like this. You didn’t need to hear the tiny exhale he let out to know he was standing there. You could feel him. Standing there nearly naked with your grey flannel (Bucky’s shirt technically) unbuttoned and hanging open leaving your black lace bra and black cotton boyshorts on display, you should feel embarrassed or self- conscious. You didn’t. You glanced up from the floor, locking eyes with him. Neither of you says a word. Bucky slowly stepped one foot into your room, making sure it was okay before moving any further. When you make no move to throw him out or curse him for even considering this to be okay, he slowly moves across the wood floor with careful steps on bare feet. 

His eyes fell to the black lace taking you in as if it’s the first time he’s truly seeing you. Bucky looked back up and met your eyes as he slowly reached out, running a thumb down the soft, thin material covering your breast. You inched forward, settling your hands on his ribs, clutching the worn navy-colored fabric of his shirt between your fingers. Bucky’s head tilted his head just enough so he could run his nose down yours, and he smiled when you tilted your chin towards him. His hands came to rest on the sides of your face, and he let his lips ghost over your skin. They hovered over your cheeks, the corners of your mouth, but never touched your lips. When your mouth fell open, lips barely parting he took his chance and tentatively pressed his lips against yours, softly letting them linger there for the longest three seconds of your life. Bucky scanned your face looking for any sign of regret the moment he pulled back, and when he found none, his lips claimed yours again this time without hesitation or uncertainty. 

The kiss was gentle despite the desperate want behind it and not at all what you thought kissing Bucky would be like. He was in no rush for this to be over. His lips moved over yours, slow and delicately. He tasted like whiskey from the bottle you knew was still resting on the counter downstairs, and there was a faint smell of cigarettes lingering on his shirt. He always smoked when he was distressed and hurting, and you hated it. With the way he was gently parting your lips with his own, smoking was the last thing on your mind. You honestly didn’t know what you expected but, kissing him like this made you dizzy, and when your knees went weak from the high, Bucky kept you from falling.

His right hand fell to your back, pressing firmly into your skin as he walked you backward until you bumped into the dresser behind you, giving your shaking legs support. The lamp that sits atop the old wooden chest wobbled and fell back into the curtain, dulling the soft yellow light, leaving a more delicate peach hue to fill the room. It stayed where it fell. Neither of you daring to let go of the other. Bucky hands have yet to leave your skin, much like his lips and you wanted it to stay that way. You didn’t have a lot of experience kissing, but it’s never felt like this. It’s never reached inside and grabbed a piece of you, stealing your breath and maybe a bit of your soul. 

A sweet sigh led to several short soft kisses that allowed you to catch your breath. With closed eyes, Bucky pressed one last honeyed kiss to your lips, and his forehead fell onto yours. You were trembling but not in the way you thought you would be when you found yourself here again. Bucky looked apprehensive when his eyes opened, the hand on your back pressed further into your skin, and he took a deep breath. 

“We can blame it on the whiskey,” Bucky whispered, his breath warming your swollen lips. 

That would be the easy thing to do. Blame all of this on the alcohol; tonight and the bonfire. You could end whatever this was before it became messier. Tell Bucky to leave, sleep in your bed for once, and wake up in the morning, pretending that Bucky didn’t just steal your heart with a simple kiss. You could do all that, and Bucky would act as if it never happened. There would be no guilt or shame he forced on you for wanting to take it all back. He would still love you the way he always has. That was the right thing to do, and that’s what you should tell him. 

“I haven’t had any,” you whispered back instead. 

Bucky gave you a sad smile and shrugged his shoulder. "We could still blame it on the whiskey." 

There was the out if you wanted to take it. You weren’t sure if it was an out for you or him. It was hanging there in the air regardless. If only things were as simple as walking away and forgetting. You’ve been straddling the two lives, two versions of you for long enough, and you were so tired of faking it. 

“I don’t want to be sad anymore, Bucky. I’m tired of being sad, and I’m so tired of pretending.” 

“Pretending?” Bucky questioned. You could hear his heartbeat, you could swear it. It was hard and fast, pounding with uncertainty against his chest. 

“What part of you has been pretending?” 

It’s terrifying how one simple question can change everything. 

“The only part of me that’s real is one tied to you.” 

You were playing with fire, but you’ve always had a way of finding trouble, and Bucky’s always been fond of the kind of trouble you were made of.

Bucky didn’t know what to say to that so he let his hands say all the things he couldn’t. They brushed gingerly down your sides, lightly running down to the top of your thighs and playing along the edge of the black cotton covering you. You wanted to memorize the way his fingertips felt on your skin in case you never again get the chance to feel them. His hands were rough in the right places and soft where they needed to be. The roughened calloused thumb and forefinger and that thin line running down his middle finger through his right palm to his wrist -- an incident with a knife while they were deployed a few years ago. 

He reached behind him and pulled his shirt over his head, and your hands immediately found his skin trailing soft fingers over the various scars. New ones you’ve never seen and some old ones that made your skin crawl from the haunting memory. The scarred skin on his left shoulder left you with that queasy feeling. You almost lost him that time. They nearly took his arm, and you could still hear Steve’s voice in your ear, desperate and tear-filled coming down a scratchy satellite phone to tell you that Bucky may not be coming home. 

Your lips brush over the scar from the bullet that ripped through his shoulder nearly taking him from you and Bucky’s breath hitched at the contact. You wished you could take that pain for him. You know how much it still bothers him, especially when it’s cold, and there are nightmares tied to the scars that won’t leave him alone. If you could, you would take those, too. You slowly pull back to find him watching you intently. There’s a long pause from you both. Did he need the assurance that you both wanted this, and it wasn’t a mistake? Did you? His breath heavy, the desperate want between you making the air thick and hard to breathe. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and it was the confirmation you both needed. 

Bucky’s left hand came up to grip your hair, and he pulled you forward with a gentle demand, swiftly claiming your lips. Rough fingers push the sleeve of his flannel from your shoulders enough that it fell onto the floor on its accord. There’s a kiss to each shoulder as he nudges the straps of your bra off your shoulders, unhooking it with one hand and letting it join the pile at your feet. You briefly wonder how many times and with how many other women he's done this. How many of his one-night stands has he touched like this? The thought was quickly extinguished when you felt his lips gently land on the tip of your nose. He bumped your noses together, wearing a small smile when he kisses the corner of your mouth and presses a sweeter, softer kiss to your lips. 

He’s never done this before. He was making sure you know it’s never been this way with anyone. He's never held anyone the way he's holding you now, nor does he want to. 

Bucky urged you back towards the side of your bed, stopping right before the mattress could brush the back of your legs. He hesitated, glancing from the bed back to you. It was a question. Did you want to do this here? Because he would understand if you didn’t. There wasn’t much of a question in your mind despite his worry. Your fingers land on his belt, slowly undoing it and pulling it from the loops. It was okay to want this, and it was okay to want this here. Bucky wasn’t a dirty secret or something shameful you had to keep hidden. 

There was nothing shameful or dirty about what you felt for Bucky.  

Kicking his jeans to the side, Bucky dropped to his knees in front of you, he grasped behind your knees and pulled your legs out from under you dropping you back onto the bed. You squealed softly and Bucky’s deep chuckle followed, making you shiver. With thumbs hooked in the waist of your panties, he slowly tugged them down, kissing each ankle as your foot slipped free. The room felt hot. Maybe it was the fan spinning on low or the heat of Bucky’s shoulders under your legs. It could be how he was staring up at you with his eyes darker than you’ve ever seen and his hands sliding up to cup your ass, lifting your hips to meet his mouth. 

A lecherous moan bounced off the walls and Bucky hummed against you. It didn’t take much. The first feel of his tongue and your legs were quivering around his ears. The intention was to taste you, not tease you until you were begging for release. It was easy to tell with the way he devoured you from the moment his lips were on you. He wanted to savor the sweet taste on his lips. You simply couldn’t stop your pleas for more. You couldn’t fight it. The burn from his beard on your thighs and the strokes of his tongue had you squirming. He didn’t relent until you were writhing and coming undone under him.

Bucky stood between your legs, panting, and still wearing the evidence of your orgasm glistening on his lips. You couldn’t take it another second. Leaning up onto your elbows you tangled the chain from tags around your hand, pulling him to you. The kiss is wet and frantic. Not like before. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it only spurred you on. Your hands were steady, rushed but steady, as you tugged his boxers down. Bucky’s hand lands on top of yours, slowing your movements. He needed this slow. You both did. There was a breathy, please that fell from someone’s lips. Neither of you are sure whose. 

With a gentle push to his chest, you guide him to sit back against the headboard. His necklace fell back to his chest, gripping his biceps with both hands to steady yourself as you straddle his waist, and Bucky’s hands came up swiftly, gripping your hips and halting you from sinking down on him. His eyes frantically roam your skin, his thoughts were racing and you could hear every one of them as if they were your own. He’s searching for the truth in all this. Is this all something he imagined? If he takes the chance will you fall with him or is he on his own? It’s the same thought making your legs tremble. You pressed your forehead against his and took a deep breath.  

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “You can fall, Bucky. I'm right here with you.”  

Something about your words made the tension he was holding dissipate and left him with an easy smile. His grip on your hips slowly loosened, the shake in his hands steadied as you pressed a kiss to his lips and you sank down on him. His head tilted back against the headboard and his mouth fell open at the feel of you clenching around him. You didn’t move for a moment, giving you both a minute to adjust. Allowing your head a chance to catch up to your heart. The hand on your waist slid around your backside, urging you to move with a gentle tap. Fingertips wandered every inch of your skin, exploring every inch of you as he watched you breathless and rocking against him. 

His palm comes to rest over your heart, closing his eyes as your heart thumped against his palm letting him know this was real. You were here with him, and this was no dream. 

It was quiet save for the creek of the headboard, your heavy breaths, and Bucky’s soft, guttural moans he couldn’t stop. You came apart first. The sight of your mouth hanging open, gasping for breath, and quivering in his arms pushed Bucky over the edge. He came clutching your thighs and whispering your name. It was a pretty sight.  

Your bottom lip was still trembling long past the last wave when you asked if he felt the same thing you did. 

“Did you fall, too?” 

Bucky smiled at your question and cupped your face in his hands, kissing you sweet and sure between heavy breaths. 

“Yeah, Trouble. ‘Bout fifteen years ago.” 

You rest your forehead against his jaw and press a kiss to his neck—Bucky’s lips land on your shoulder, his beard tickling you enough to make you wriggle. Bucky grinned, wrapped an arm around your waist, and slipped down low enough to cover you with the sheet. There was a brief worry that you were cold, but you simply burrowed further into his chest, assured him you hadn’t felt this warm in a long time. You would both need to leave this bed and get cleaned up at some point, but for a few minutes longer, you could stay right where you were. 

Bucky had every intention of soaking in this moment that was never supposed to be. 

A conversation needed to be had. There would need to be explanations and assurances. None of this was planned. You hadn’t meant to fall for Bucky. He loved you in a way you didn’t fully understand. You wanted to though, if he was willing to show you. You wanted to let him love you. None of what you were feeling was intended, and it was never meant to be a replacement for what you had. He was different. It was something new—a new kind of old you never wanted to lose. 

New was nice, it turned out. 

Previous // Next 

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

[ringmyheart]

Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

[kaitwrites]

Part 22; Apologies

Word Count: ~3k

Masterlist 

A/N: Okay, it’s finally here. First of all I’d like to say I’m very nervous lol. But also, a HUGE thank you to @garbagepale-kid​ for editing and proof-reading for me. Best Wife Cassie <3. Secondly, she has given me so much confidence in my writing and I love her so much for that. Once again, Cassie Best wife. Also you can follow her (18+) writing blog here. In other news I just finished my last 55 hour week at work, and I only have four more days of work before a week of vacation! Anyway, the next part will be written as well, and I hope you guys enjoy <3

You stared at your phone, watching anxiously as the minutes ticked by. After making it back to the hotel you made a beeline for the little gazebo off to the side of the property. With the late hour and it also being a weekday, you were left waiting alone in the dark, unbothered as you sat on the weathered bench. The only light  came from the dim bulb that seemed to hang only by a thread from the tented ceiling. Bakugo had said he wanted to take a shower before meeting with you, but the longer you waited, the more you feared you’d been stood up. 

Finally, you spotted a familiar spiky-haired shadow coming from around the corner and your heartbeat spiked in your chest. 

You let out a shaky breath as he approached, relieved that he had finally shown up. “Hi.” 

He offered you a rare smile, one it seemed only you got to see. “Hey.” He had stopped at the steps, not making a move to come any closer - almost unsure what to do with himself. “So…” 

“So?” You questioned, your voice coming out far more confident than you thought it would. 

Bakugo huffed and made his way up the few steps, sliding onto the bench beside you. The old wood creaked under your combined weight. He sat facing forward, choosing to stare out into the darkness. “So, you and Sero?” There was a bite to his tone. 

Your eyes narrowed. “What about me and Sero?” You quipped back, your tone just as harsh. 

You observed him carefully as he clenched and unclenched his jaw, bracing yourself for an onslaught of the usual insults you heard thrown at your friends. “What are you two?” 

You were taken aback by how soft his voice was when he asked, and it took you a moment to compose yourself once more before answering him. “What does it matter to you what goes on between me and Sero?” 

“Because, damn it!” He let out a hefty sigh, knotting his hands into his hair.  “I thought we had something.” He hissed out through clenched teeth. 

You turned away in disbelief, unsure of how to react. He planned this whole thing, the song, the apology, in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of people, but he wanted to get upset with you? Act like you had been the one in the wrong this entire time? Sure what you and Hanta had was artificial, but did he really expect you to wait around while he tried to figure out how to communicate with you? It wasn’t like you two had been anything official, so what was the big deal if you had started seeing someone? The questions mounted and mixed poorly with a nearly-venomous sense of indignation, erasing any of the calm you’d been maintaining.

You threw your hands up in exasperation, ignoring the way he flinched away from the unexpected sudden movement. “You know what? I thought we did too. But then you kicked me out of your hotel room, wouldn’t tell me why! You ignored me for weeks, Bakugo! I think I deserve an explanation!” 

“Fuck! I know!” He shouted, making you jump. He noticed it from the corner of his eye and took a deep breath before he spoke again, this time a little calmer.

“I knew your phone had died so I plugged it in for you. Figured I’d save you the hassle in the morning. It started going off like crazy once it turned back on and I assumed it was those idiots blowing up your phone. He slumped his shoulders, leaning back against the bench. “I was going to tell them to shut the hell up and leave you alone so you could sleep, but the messages were from some guy acting like your boyfriend or something - I got angry.” 

You fisted your hands in the hem of your shirt, feeling your nails dig into your palms through the thin material. “No shit! Why didn’t you talk to me?” 

His gaze shifted to the floor, unable to look in your direction after hearing the hurt and anger in your voice. “I wanted to! I knew I had upset you and I figured you’d be over it in a few days. But when Kirishima told me just how upset you were I just- I couldn’t. I’m just some asshole, and you deserve better than that. I couldn’t talk to you.” 

You glared at his profile, lips pressed into a thin line, waiting for him to face you and continue. The silence stretched on for several moments, so you cut in. “You could have texted me, called me, wrote me a note, sent me a fucking email for god’s sake! But instead, I was left sitting alone agonizing over what in the hell I could have done that made you so mad at me!” 

“I realized I fucked up. No matter how much I wanted to talk to you I know I’d just fuck it up and hurt you all over again.” He finally turned his gaze to you, features softening once he saw the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He ventured again, barely audible “But now I realize that not talking to you hurt you more than anything I could have done.” 

You aggressively wiped at your eyes as the tears escaped, realizing you were more frustrated by the burst of tears than you were angry with Bakugo.

“You had become such a constant in my day to day life, and just like that, the familiarity was gone. You were gone. You wouldn’t even look at me. I was literally packing my bags a week and a half ago because being around you was not only uncomfortable, but it hurt.” 

Bakugo shifted on the bench beside you, uncomfortable from the sudden burst of tears. He wasn’t good with his own emotions, let alone someone else's. A slew of curses ran through his brain as he tried to gather the right words to say to try to make you feel better. A stab of guilt shot through his heart watching your shoulders shake as you tried to hide your face from him. Damn, he thought, this is all my fault. He slid off the bench with an exasperated sigh, kneeling in front of you and tilting your face to meet his eyes. “Damn it, stop crying dumbass.” His hand slid up to your cheek, wiping the tears that continued to trail down your face. “Especially over some asshole.” 

Your eyes narrowed. “You’re the asshole I’m crying over.” You spat, pushing his hands away. 

“Listen. I’m not good at shit like this, alright?” His voice no longer held the softness it had just moments prior. You went to speak but he cut you off abruptly. “Just- let me talk, okay?” You nodded, letting him say his piece. 

He took a deep breath, eyes pointed at the ground. “I fucked up. I know I did, alright? I’m not- I don’t know how to do stuff like this, I never cared how anyone felt before you came along. To be honest, I regretted kicking you out as soon as I did it, hearing the pain in your voice then- Even now, it’s still… I don’t even know how to describe it. But, fuck. I'm just trying to say sorry, alright?” 

“It’s called guilt.” You sniffled, bumping your leg against his. 

He moved back beside you on the bench, and after a moment of hesitation he pulled your legs into his lap. Your heart fluttered at the sudden movement, and you were tempted to remove your legs from his light grip, but it felt right. You sighed and let yourself relax into him and he wrapped his free arm around you as you let your head rest on his shoulder. I’m so tired of being mad at him. You thought, I want this moment with him, I don’t want to fight against it. I’ve missed him so much. 

His hand came up, stroking your hair with a tenderness that surprised you, and you melted into his touch. “I know what it’s called, Dumbass.” 

You closed your eyes, taking in the scent of his body wash. It smelled like the forest after it had just rained, and reminded you of all of the nights you had fallen asleep in his room while you worked on videos or watched movies together. How you would wake up snuggled up to his firm chest and he would complain that you took up all the room on the bed so he had no choice but to be so close to you. You smiled fondly at the memory and felt a few more tears fall from your eyes. 

His hand rested on your knee and gently squeezed. “I thought I told you to stop crying over some asshole.” He slowly brought his hand up to wipe at your tears, assuming you would push him away once more. The weight of his hand disappeared from your head, drifting down to wipe your tears even though he was sure you’d try to push him away again. To his surprise, you let him.

You pressed your cheek into his calloused hand letting out a shaky sigh when it lingered a little longer than necessary. You looked up at him through wet eyelashes.

“Say it again.” You mumbled. 

He pulled his hand back, confused. “Don’t cry over an asshole? I think twice is enough, you really need to hear it a third time?”

“No, you idiot.” You sighed, pushing his shoulder. “You know what I mean.” 

He smirked and placed his hand on your knee. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

This time it wasn’t surrounded by a jumbled mess of an explanation, it wasn’t a quick, quiet apology like he had done prior. It felt genuine. It was genuine. You felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest, and you could feel the tears burning in your eyes again, but you pushed them back and let a shaky breath escape your lips. 

“I forgive you, but it’s not okay. Learn how to talk to people.” You flicked him on the forehead and he grabbed your wrist, returning the motion to your forehead. “Hey!” 

“I’m working on it, woman.” He let go of your wrist but slid your hand into his, gently squeezing it before dropping it completely. “Shitty Hair already told me about you and Sero, but I want to hear it from you.” 

“Damn it, Kirishima!” You threw your head back, covering your face with your hands. You had asked him not to say anything to Bakugo about it, scared that it would just anger the blonde and make him never want to speak to you again, and you were aggravated that your best friend had decided to tell Bakugo instead of just letting things take their course. But suddenly, what Kirishima told you had made sense. You two are going to be the death of me. At first, you thought he meant you and Sero, but the more you thought about it, he was talking about you and Bakugo. Mina said that Kirishima had been working with Bakugo for a while, and he was probably just trying to get a handle on the situation, tired of having to go back and forth especially if it was going to be all for nothing. Kirishima never should have been caught up in the middle of the mess between the two of you, Bakugo could have talked to you, and you could have just gotten over it and made him talk to you in person, even when he was ignoring all of your messages. 

 You narrowed your eyes once more, crossing your arms over your chest.“You drove Kirishima just as crazy as I did, didn’t you?” 

He mimicked you, quirking a brow as he crossed his arms over his own chest. “You have no proof.”

“Stop copying me, liar. I can’t believe I’m attracted to a liar.” You reached out to pry his arms from his chest, but he turned it around on you, grabbing yours and pulling you so close so you could feel his breath on your face. 

 “So you’re attracted to me?” You didn’t miss the way his eyes traveled down to your lips, then quickly darted back up to your eyes, a smirk forming on his own lips

“I never denied it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as he moved his hand up your arm. “You would have known forever ago if you hadn’t been so mean to me.” 

His crimson eyes made their way back down to your lips once more, and you shivered under his gaze. “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?” He leaned forward, closing the distance between the two of you, observing your features carefully as he drew closer. He slowly closed his eyes, but you put a hand to his chest and stopped him. He eased back, pressing his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering open and breath heavy as if he had been holding it this whole time.

“What now, dumbass?” He was annoyed, but his voice wasn’t as gruff as it usually was. 

“I need to talk to Sero.” 

“Oh? Need to fake break up with your fake boyfriend?” He chuckled, hands trailing up and down your arms. “Come on, Y/N.” 

“Well, It’s a little more complicated than that.” You bit your lip and looked down, nervous to tell him about what had happened earlier in the night, anxiety eating at your nerves over the events of the evening.

He rolled his eyes as he waited for you to continue. “Spit it out, Y/N.”  

Sero had been there for you for this entire ordeal, hell even before Bakugo came into the picture, he was one you could always come to and he would welcome you with open arms, dropping whatever he was doing for you. And what if that kiss had meant something to him? Obviously, you were taken back by it at first and you weren’t sure how to feel, but he knew that all of this was for Bakugo, and since this - or at least something - was happening between you and Bakugo, he deserved to know what happened. 

“He kissed me earlier before you guys went on stage. He came down to get some drinks and we ran into each other at the bar. I just wanted to tell you because I didn’t want you finding out later and getting upset with me again.” 

“Mother fucker.” He pulled back and his hands tightened on your arms for a minute before he let go. You saw anger flash in his eyes, and you were preparing yourself for an outburst. “I was supposed to be the first one in this damn band of idiots to kiss you.” He was trying to keep a light tone with the joke, but you could tell he was struggling to keep his cool. 

“Hate to break it to you, he wasn’t the first to kiss me either.” You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair, always shocked at how soft his seemingly prickly hair was. 

“Shouldn’t be surprised you kissed that red-haired idiot.” He leaned his head back into your hand as you scratched his scalp, side-eyeing you as you giggled. 

“Wrong again! Jirou and I made out once or twice, no big deal.” You smiled as his mouth fell open in shock. “Actually, the only person I haven’t kissed is Kirishima. Well, and you.” His hands made their way down to your hips and he pinched you at your remark. 

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised. You two did seem close.” Soft circles were rubbed into your sides before a look of realization came across his face. “Wait, even that purple-haired bastard?” 

“Only once during spin the bottle when we were in high school.” You giggled, watching a pout form on his lips. “Aw, what’s the matter, Katsuki?” You reached up to pinch his cheek, “you jealous-“ He grabbed your hand, cutting you off and pulling you completely onto his lap, his lips just a few mere inches from yours. 

“What were you saying?” He whispered, his lips just barely ghosting against yours, eyes half shut, staring up at you. Goosebumps ran up your spine as he ran his hands up your sides. “Not so talkative now are we?” 

You inhaled sharply and placed your hands on either side of his face, rubbing your thumb over his cheek. “I missed you.” 

“I’ve been here the whole time.” He squeezed your sides and kissed your jaw, leaving tingles where his lips had met your skin. You visibly shivered and sighed, leaning more into him, allowing him to continue the light trail of kisses along your jaw. “Come back to my room.” He whispered. 

You nodded, opening your eyes and peering down at him. “After I talk to Sero.” His grip tightened at the sound of his name and you didn’t miss the way his face scrunched up in disapproval, but he lazily let his hands fall from your sides. “It won’t take long,” you promised, slowly making your way off his lap already, missing the presence of his hands on your sides. 

You had barely made it two steps away from him before you felt his hand at your wrist, pulling you back and twisting you around to face him once more. “You really thought I’d let you go that easily?” His free hand landed on your cheek, making its way to the back of your head and pulling you closer to him, his lips finally meeting yours. 

Taglist! @hopelesshawks @goustcop @pride-of-persephone @jadenyukis-bodypillow @unawi13-blog @sokka-simp @astroninaaa @pansinspace @oikawasiwa @thelifeoftheshorty @camry-orphanaccount @vhskenma @hallothankmas @pinkquartz19 @reblogs-of-things-i-like @xxoperatexx @kiristanfirsthuman2nd @introvertatitsfinest @garbagepale-kid @calumsfringe @itsmysticalmystery @sirachano0dles @bakugousflowerprincess @fukyouthink @ynfics @hadesnewpersephone @cirtruss @cherryblossom242 @chaichai-the-weeb @sergeant102105 @punicorn999 @definitelynotaundrayah @dangerousluv1 @missalienqueen @coffeeaddictedmay @nxynxy @tansyfleurwhisper @insane-without-delirium @ravenkake @thoretical-theo @overzealous-imagination @delightfulartisancolorauthor @multifixx @emomochi

[jadedxrealityw]

-Unsaid- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Kody: I’m fully aware that this song was used for first, but im using it in a romantic way. Also this is hella similar to my other story “First love?” “No, my only love” story, but this song has been in my head and i thought of this so enjoy??

   Song: Charlie Gillespie- Unsaid emily

   Warning: angst, just so much angst. Cursing and whatnot as well.

   House: Slytherin

   Summary: It’s right after the wizarding war and the golden trio wants to reunite Draco with someone he lost.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   A feeling of dread coursed through him as his parents called his name from across the battlefield, he could feel the eyes from other students looking at him, giving him a questioning glance. All wondering what side Draco Malfoy was going to choose, but it didn’t matter the only thing keeping him good was you and you were gone.

   The blond boy took a step forward, instantly receiving disapproving glances from the staff and students, but he didn’t care. He pushes through the crowd and Voldemort gives him a sadistic smile, holding out his arms “Ah, well done Draco” he says and gives the boy a awkward hug, sending shivers down Drac’s spine.

   “Well done” he repeated and let go of him. Draco made his way to his parents, his mother going in to touch me, but he swats her hand away. A hurt look spreading across her face, but she understood. 

   ♡~🐍~♡

   After Neville’s speech he pulled the sword of Gryffindor from the hat shouting “It’s not over” and in that moment Harry Potter pushed from Hagrid’s arms, making Draco’s eyes go wide. He saw he didn’t have a wand and looked down at his, even if you weren’t around to keep him in the light he knew you would have wanted him to do the right thing.

   So he did. Draco ran from the crowd of death-eater “Potter!” he shouted, catching the attention of the Gryffindor. Running past Voldemort, Draco threw his wand at Harry and ran into the crowd of students once more.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   It was over. Voldemort was dead and Draco had no idea where his parents were, probably anywhere at this point to avoid being arrested. He questioned if he would be arrested as well. Standing on the bridge he looked at Hogwarts, a place he used to call home destroyed. All thanks to him. 

   “Malfoy” A voice called and he looked forward to see the three Gryffindors staring at him. He tensed slightly, wondering what they were gonna say and do. They stopped in front of him “Thank you, for giving me your wand. I couldn’t have done it without you” Harry spoke.

   “I never meant for any of this to happen. Hogwarts was my home too, but Voldemort took someone from me, held her over my head. I loved her with everything i had only for my own parents to kill her. Don’t thank me Potter, thank her. She was the light of my life, she made me good” 

   The three looked at him and gave him a sad smile “Could you show us who she was, your memories of her. Even if she wasn’t involved directly. She was indeed a hero?” Harry asked. Draco thought for a moment before giving them a small nod.

   “I’d like that”

   ♡~🐍~♡

   As they walked up the stairs to Dumbledore’s office a feeling of guilt going through him like a punch, but on the way Harry had told them all about Snape and Dumbledore’s plan, which put his mind a bit at ease. 

   “Okay so, just remove your memories and put them in there” Harry explains and points to the small fountain. 

   “i’d don’t think that will fit all of us” Ron questioned, which he was right. It wouldn’t.

   Hermione took out her wand and pointed it at the small fountain “Engorgio” she speaks and it grows in size “Better?” she asked and they all nod.

   Harry hands Draco his wand and holds it against his head, pulling out strings of memories and puts them in the water. “Okay” he says. They all stand on the sides before dunking their heads in.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   They watch a scene from in front of them. A girl with H/L H/C hair was leaning against the wall, she looked sad and angered, they also saw Draco there with the same emotion. “What is this?” Hermione asked and Draco gulped.

   The scene played and it was Draco and you were taking about how distant he was being and him not being able to lie his way out of it “First things first. We start the scene in reverse. All of the lines rehearsed. Disappeared from my mind” Non-memory Draco says as he looks at the both of you. “I practiced everyday on how to lie my way out on me being a death-eater, but i just couldn’t”

   “Y/n say something please” Draco pleaded, looking into your eyes as they gazed at his dark mark. “It wasn’t my choice i swear, but what if they find out about you and hurt you or worse because i said no!” he pleads for her to understand.

   You look at his worried face, he was still the man you loved. No matter what mark he had, but you just couldn’t help the anger “Are you crazy?! Draco they could kill you! Is this why you have been so distant?!” You shout and 

   He shakes his head, his frown turning into a scowl “Im doing this for you! I don’t care what happens to me! So how can you be yelling at me!” he shouts back, making you throw your arms in the air.

   “Exactly Draco, you need to think about yourself! You could be sent to Azkaban for even having that mark! I could lose you! That’s why i’m upset!” You watch as his face softens, knowing he had made a mistake.

   “Y/n i-” He starts, but you push past him and out his dorm room. 

   Draco paused the memory to look at your tear stained face. A frown taking over him. “Did this happen often?” Hermione asked. 

“When things got loud. One of us running out. I should've turned around, but I had too much pride“ Draco speaks, making a disgusted face at himself, how could he let you leave in such condition. “No time for goodbyes. Didn't get to apologize. Pieces of a clock that lies broken“ he adds before switching to another memory.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   They saw you and him laughing while walking down the hall, holding hands and giving each other lovestruck looks “ If I could take us back, if I could just do that and write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace. Then maybe time would not erase me” he walked beside you as if he was actually there with you, but when he touched your hand, he went right through it. 

   He watched the both of you walk down the hall “What would you tell her now? if you could i mean” Harry says, causing Hermione to hit his shoulder.

   “If you could only know I'd never let you go and the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave Unsaid Y/n” Draco says, making the trio frown at his vulvernable state. He shakes his head and the memory changes again.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   He watched as everything faded into place and his jaw locked instantly. “Silent days, mysteries and mistakes. Who'd be the first to break?. Guess we're alike that way” Draco said before letting the memory play out.

   You watched as Draco was being held by death-eaters, holding a wand to his neck “Tell us gilrie, are you with Draco Malfoy?!” One sneered. Draco looked at you, shaking his head. He rather die then let them use you against him. The pleading look made you hesitate “I guess you wouldn’t mind if we use the cruciatus curse then huh?” he smirks.

   “No!” You shout and he smirks. Draco struggles against the death-eater as one goes over to you, grabbing your arm. 

   In seconds you were apparated into the Malfoy Manor and you were dragged away down to where the dungeons were. “No! Let her go!” Draco shouted, hia parents walking in to see Draco.

   “Let our son go now!” Narcissa shouts, giving the death-eater a glare. He lets go and Draco immediately tries to go down into the dungeons, but his mother holds him back “Draco stop!”

   “No, no i have to protect her! Let me see her mother, please!” Draco pleads as he tries to push past her, tears forming in the corners of her eyes 

   “Draco, if we keep her there the dark lord will think you don’t care for her and won’t hurt her. I won’t let him hurt her. I promise, i know how much she means to you” Narcissa gives him a small smile and Draco nods slowly, he always trusted his mother.

   Hermione shook her head “How could she say that and just kill her herself? It makes no sense” she thought, turning to face Draco. “Didn’t the dark lord say he was going to hurt her if you didn’t obey him? How was your mother going to protect her?”

   Draco shakes his head, just as confused as she was “He said, she said. Conversations in my head and that's just where they're gonna stay forever” he spoke and shook his head, the memory changing again

      ♡~🐍~♡

   You and Draco were at the yule ball, both having a blast dancing around. He watched with such dismay knowing he’d never see that smile again. “If I could take us back, if I could just do that and write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace. Then maybe time would not erase me” he starts 

   Watching as you let go of his hand and spin around, pausing the memory to stand in front of you. “If you could only know I'd never let you go and the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave Unsaid Y/n” he chokes out and watch as you fade away. He reaches out to nothing and frowns

   “I know it’s hard, but can you show us how she died?” Harry asked. Draco takes a deep breath and nods before the memory changes again.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Draco had just walked down the stairs and saw his mother holding you by the arm and his father standing next to her “Mother? Father? What’s going on?” he questioned, rushing down the last few steps and towards you.

   His mother spoke up “Since you have shown no interest in the girl, the dark lord sees no reason to keep her. So he’s going to torture her for information and kill her” she says, making Draco’s eyes go wide.

   “No you can’t let him! You said you’d protect her! You told me to ignore her! I trusted you!” He shouts, a hurt look crossing her. Narcissa shakes her head and hands you over to Lucius.

   “I am sparing her from any hurt, if i let her go he will find out, but if i kill her myself. The dark lord will be pleased and won’t torture her” She speaks. 

   Draco was frozen. His own mother was going to kill the love of his life? “Mother please, i beg you! You can’t do this!” he shouts, but Narcissa just shakes her head.

   “You two, take my son to his room!” Narcissa instructs the death-eaters standing guard and they comply and grab Draco by his arms. He was kicking and screaming as he watched his mother pull out his wand.

   He saw the terrified look on your face as she pointed her wand towards you “No! Y/n! Please don’t do this! Mother!” he shouts, but she shook her head and spoke the fatal words 

   “Avada Kedavra!” she shouts and a flash a green enlightened the room, Draco was being pushed around the corner and only saw a glimpse of your corpse.

   Draco paused the memory as a tear fell from his eye, wiping it quickly he turns to the trio “I know i come off as cold and rude, but she saw the good in me. She made me want to be good. She made me give you that wand Potter and she doesn’t even get to live. It isn’t fair” he speaks.

   “Rewind it” Hermione says making everyone look at her confusingly “Just do it, right before the flash” she speaks a bit harshly.

   Draco complies as watches as his mother chants the killing curse again and stops it. Hermione walks around and looks at your face “That isn’t Y/n” she speaks

   “What?” Draco asked and walked around to see what Hermione was seeing and saw you, but not you. Someone turning back from you to themselves “Polyjuice potion” he whispers and the Gryffindor girl nods.

   “Your mother never betrayed you, she knew if she just hid Y/n away you would have went looking for her” Hermione explains. Draco feels a feeling of hope spread in his chest.

   “So she's still alive somewhere!” Draco finishes and to everyone’s surprise hugged Hermione and swung her around “Thank merlin for your genius mind, Granger!” he shouts and lets go of her.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   They pulled their heads out the water and Draco sighs contently. All this time, he thought he’d never see you again, but you were alive. Somewhere, but you were. “The chat has been lovely, but i have to go find Y/n” he says and goes to rush out the door when Hermione stops him.

   “You and Harry are alike. Thinking you can do these big adventures by yourselves. We’re going to help you Draco Malfoy. Whether you like it or not” She says sternly, crossing her arms.

   “I’d just say yes a mate, you really have no choice when it comes to her” Ron spoke, giving Draco a warm smile.

   “Okay, let’s find Y/n”

   ♡~🐍~♡

   A month later and the golden trio and Draco searched everywhere for his parents, in hopes of them having information on where you were hidden, but they had completely disappeared. Nowhere to be found. Currently Draco was sitting in the manor, eating breakfast when the golden trio apparated in “You know i have a doorbell right?” he asked.

   “We have something” Harry speaks. Draco shot up from his seat and made his way towards them. Harry opens a file that he was holding “Using my new title as hero, i was able to convince the ministry to give me your parents financial records” he starts “And we found out they purchased a house in a small town days before Y/n was ‘killed’ she has to be there” 

   Draco walks over to the door and grabs his coat hanging off the rack and slips it on “What are you doing?” Ron asked him, the three following.

   “What? Do you think im going to wait until lunch to go find my girlfriend. Yeah no, if you don’t want to come give me the file and i’ll go” Draco says, holding his hand out.

   “Calm down, were going. Remember what Hermione said. We’re in this together” Harry says and off they were.

    ♡~🐍~♡

   They enter the small town and look at the file “The house should be down the road here” Harry instructs and they began to walk, well Draco was more like speed walking. As they got closer, Hermione walked over to someone around there age and smiled “Hello ma’am do you know who lives in that house?” 

   The girl with a brown pixie cut looked away from her phone and towards the Gryffindor girl “Um i don’t know her name, but she has H/L H/C hair and E/C, she seems pretty chill but doesn’t leave the house often. The only person to ever visit her was a women with white and black hair” she explains.

   Hermione smiles “Thank you uh-”

   “Kody and no problem. See ya around i have to go write fanfiction on tumblr about some guy with daddy issues for people with daddy issues” She laughs and waves before walking away.

   “What’s tumblr?” Ron asked and they all shrugged there shoulders. 

   “Can we go now?” Draco asked, a bit snappy and they nod before walking towards the house. 

   ♡~🐍~♡

   The three stood near the mailbox as Draco knocked on the door. he nervously waited until he heard the someone unlock the door and opened it. He saw a face he never thought he’d see again. Your eyes widened in shock as your boyfriend stood in front of you. You reached out and touched his face “Your real” you say.

   Draco nods giving you a smile, placing a hand on top of yours leaning into your touch “It’s me love. I found you” he says and scoops you up in his arms. Tears ran down your face as you hugged him back “I was so scared you were dead, until i looked back at my memories and saw it wasn’t you”

   You nod your head “I thought you were dead, i haven’t been able to figure out what’s happening in the wizarding world without Narcissa, but she hasn’t shown up in forever” you spoke and Draco smiles down at you.

   “Voldemort is dead, Harry killed him and they helped me find you” He said and gestured to the golden trio behind him to waved “I couldn’t have found you without them.

   “You teamed up with Gryffindors to find me? I must have really had an affect on you?” You joke and he laughs softly, giving you a nod. He leans down to peck your lips quickly.

   “yes, you really do love and i want you to keep having that effect on me for my whole life. Come back with me” He pleads and you laugh, makin his face twist in confusion 

   “You don’t even need to ask”

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Kody- Da hell did i just write? Also yes i put myself in the story. Dont judge me. Hope you enjoyed at least. Also go listen to unsaid emily its a bop. My requests are open btw. Anyways, peace.

[nadisabug]

Pairing: Osamu Miya x fem! reader

Genre: angst </3

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, slight alcoholism

Word Count: 1.4k

Requested: @kohi-zeri

Summary: Osamu was a stubborn man who never admitted his wrongs. But late nights spent thinking about nothing but you can change a man.

A/N: this one is based off of baby come back by player and is super angsty. Thank you for the beta and help @snoozless I may make a part two if people are interested in that so let me know!

Haikyuu Masterlist // Love Song Event Masterlist

Osamu stumbled to his door, crashing against it as he tried to enter his apartment. The shock sent some clarity to his head. Keys, he needed keys. Leaning against the door, he dug his hand into his pocket and fished around. Sharp, jagged metal scraped his hand, but he felt numb to it. The alcohol buzzing in his veins was enough to dull the pain. He pulled the keys out and promptly dropped them. 

He cursed. 

Osamu leaned down to pick them up, and with him the world tilted and spun. It felt like a broken clock hand, ticking then resetting. Spinning, then clicking back into place. 

Grabbing at the keys blindly, he managed to pick them up. As he stood back up, he had to hold onto the door handle to keep himself from falling. He brought the keys up to his face to select the correct key before jamming it into the lock. 

He fell through the door once it opened, barely catching himself in time. Osamu righted himself and closed the door behind him, barely remembering to throw the lock back into place. He stumbled to his bedroom and threw himself face first onto the bed. He laid there, face buried in the covers and started to drift off…

That is, until his phone began to ring. 

He ignored the first call. 

And the second. 

Once the third began to sound he rolled over onto his back and picked up the phone. 

“Whadda fuck you want?” He slurred. 

“Fuck man, calm ‘yerself. Just checkin to make sure you got home okay,” Atsumu’s familiar drawl poured through the speaker. “You were fucken out of it, bro. But again, you insisted on walken yerself-”

“Well, I’m home alright,” Osamu snapped. 

Astumu paused for a moment. “You gonna be alright?”

“Fuck you mean?”

“It’s been a month today,” Atsumu said softly. “‘Ts why I didn’t give you shit for calling me out to drink with you.”

“Oh it has?” Osamu feigned ignorance. He knew damn well what today was. Why did shitty ‘Sumu have to remind him?

“Cut yer shit ‘Samu. It’s okay to hurt but doing this…” Atsumu sighed. “‘M worried bout ya.”

“I’m fine,” Osamu spat. “Besides, what right do I have to hurt? I’m the one who broke up with her.”

“Yeah, but still-”

“I’m home fine. Now goodnight shithead.”

Atsumu sighed. “Goodnight, just rem-”

Osamu hung up. 

Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town / Doing anything just to get you off of my mind

Osamu stirred. His brain was still foggy, and his room still dim. He stretched out on the bed, pulling his arms up and over. His muscles felt tight and sore, probably from the practice ‘Sumu talked him into. 

He sighed as he relaxed onto the bed, a dull thrumming in his head. It hurt, and he craved your touch to remedy it. He rolled over and patted the other side of the bed, intending to curl into you.

He opened his eyes. 

Where were you?

You often got up before him, so this was nothing new. You were probably making breakfast for him. He sat up, groggily, and cleared his throat. 

“Y/n? Can you get me some water?” He called out. “My head’s killing me and I don’t-”

His eyes landed on the bare half of the dresser. He still hadn’t moved his stuff over from when you left. 

That’s right.

You weren’t here. 

Osamu felt a wave of emotion hit him as the realization washed over him, leaving him shaken and cold. 

He suddenly felt like an idiot for calling out to you, of course you weren’t here. He did that. He made you leave. 

Osamu laid down and pulled the covers back over him. 

For some reason, it was terribly cold.

He fought hard to swallow the lump in his throat.

But when the morning comes, I'm right back where I started again / And tryna forget you is just a waste of time

“Something bring ya down?”

Osamu looked up at the elderly cashier. She was giving him a soft, small smile. Pity.

“No of course not, I’m fine. Why do you ask?” Osamu responded, a little confused. 

“You just look like you have a broken heart,” she smiled sweetly. She had so much care in her eyes. Just like you did when he told you to-

“Since when did they pay you to give out therapy?” Osamu snapped. He couldn’t hold himself back, anger dripped from his voice. 

“S-sorry hun, I just-”

“Well don’t,” he growled. He paid quickly and stormed out of the store. 

He didn’t realize until he got to the car that he forgot his groceries.

All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado / Tryna keep up  smile that hides a tear

Osamu sat nervously checking the clock. Why was his good-for-nothing brother so late? He was supposed to have been here 15 minutes ago. 

He waited longer, and the longer he waited the more he regretted it. 

But then his phone buzzed. 

Osaumu walked as slowly as he could to the door and opened it. On the other side was his shitty brother. Atsumu nodded, and Osamu let him in. 

“Ya know, she was the only one who supported you quittin’ volleyball.”

“Huh?” Osamu closed the door and stared at his brother. 

“Just thinking about it,” Astumu shrugged.

“This isn’t even about her,” Osamu sighed. He walked to the kitchen counter where he already had a bottle and two glasses. 

“Oh, fer fuck’s sake, can you quit lyin’ to me?” Atsumu’s drawl coated his words heavier as his frustration rose. 

Osamu thought about some responses, but he didn’t use any of them. He just looked at the bottle; he couldn’t count how many he had been through this week. 

“I… I can’t sleep without her…” Osamu’s voice was raw with emotion. He had to fight back the lump in his throat. 

Atsumu took the bottle gently from him and placed it in the trash. 

“You know what you need to do. I don’t need to tell ya that.”

And Osamu knew that Atsumu was right. 

But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again / How I wish to God that you were here

Osamu kept walking. 

It was all that he could do. 

He didn’t even bring his head phones, he was too sleep deprived to remember them. He hadn’t been able to sleep, so he decided a walk might tire him out. 

But as he walked it began to rain.

And he kept walking.

He wanted to believe that he was doing this because he deserved it. Like this was his punishment. That’s why he kept walking in the rain, in danger of catching a cold. 

But he knew better when he approached the familiar door. 

He stood there in front of it for god knows how long. He was about to leave when he saw a light flick on in the house. 

Fuck it.

He reached out and knocked. 

Then waited. 

Then the door opened.

“What?” It was a short word. Clipped, sharp. It stabbed Osamu right in the chest. You were upset. You had every right to be. But all he could do was soak in the sight of you. 

You were standing on the other side of the door, clad in your old pajamas. He used to give you shit about those ratty things, about how you both had money to get a new pair. You always just said that they were comfy. 

But right now he couldn’t imagine you in something more beautiful.

“Hello?” You sighed and threw a hand on your hip. 

Osamu struggled to find the words.

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see / There was something in everything about you

“Can we… can we talk?”

“About what?” You sighed. You looked tired. Exhausted. 

“About us… I… I’m sorry… please…” Osamu hated the raw emotion in his voice, but he knew it had come to this. He had to do this. He couldn’t bear another night alone.

You sighed, stepping to the side and motioning for Osamu to come in. “Fine. Talk.”

Osamu walked in and you closed the door behind him. He turned to see you standing at the door impatiently. 

Then he began to talk.

Baby come back, you can blame it all on me / I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

Taglist: {OPEN}

This is bad angst so I didn’t tag those that marked it on my form!

@snoozless , @dv0412 , @milktyama , @keshastourbus 

[rosiesandlilies]

𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝

Roseanne Park x Female Reader 

(7.1k words)

Sypnopsis:  roseanne makes the mistake of dating korean soloist; y/n lee. when she leaves her with a broken heart, roseanne can't help but still want her. lisa comes along and manages to capture roseanne's heart, but each time roseanne stares into lisa's eyes, she sees y/n. ignoring the weird looks she receives from her family and friends when they see the close resemblance to the soloist - roseanne wants to love lisa and a part of her does, but she hates y/n for not letting her move on; especially when her eyes are closed.

A/N: This is originally my work posted on wattpad hehe, but I decided to post it on here to share with you guys~ hopefully you all will enjoy it :) Italics will be memories while Bold will be the interview process. 

~

UN Village, Hannam The Hills, Seoul 3:00AM

Rosé's POV.

roseanne knows she shouldn't be doing this. she knows she shouldn't be watching a replay of her ex's interview for her latest single, the same single that roseanne helped her write. roseanne shouldn't be doing this, especially when lisa's sleeping a floor above her.

but she can't seem to care, not when she's done this hundreds of times.

roseanne watches the screen, she's replayed the interview two times already, each time, roseanne finds herself yearning for more. her fingers ache to touch y/n's supple skin, her lips tingle as she watches her ex-lover's lips move and smile.

roseanne's heart clenches, it squeezes and then explodes.

roseanne knew it was a bad idea to date a celebrity, a famous one at that. roseanne knew it was a bad idea to kiss the celebrity when she was warned that the girl wasn't one to 'commit.' all these bad decisions on her end, led her here; sneaking away from lisa's arms just to watch the one who broke her heart months ago. 

"so tell us y/n, what's the meaning of this new song of yours?"

"well..it's about two lovers dating each other despite what the world around them thinks. they're willing to take risks and despite knowing how the game love works, they're putting their hearts on the line."

"what a beautiful meaning! how long have you worked on this song for?"

"around 10 months? it was on a whim actually, drinking cheap beer on top of a rooftop and boom, the idea popped out."

roseanne remembers that night like it was yesterday, y/n had surprised her at her work and suggested they take a better look at seoul. during that time, roseanne had no idea what she was talking about, but as soon as she was met with the cold breeze of seoul at night, she knew exactly what y/n was trying to say.

roseanne loved cheap beer and that was a fact that y/n apparently never forgot.

roseanne watches y/n look at the view in front of them, she tilts her head and lets it rest on y/n's shoulder. "what are you thinking of?" roseanne was curious to see inside the head of her lover. "nothing," y/n responded, gulping down the remainder of her beer before giving roseanne that smile that made her knees buckle. "that's not nothing, what's up baby?" roseanne takes y/n's hand in hers, feeling y/n close to her made her feel safe.

"i've just been stressed but that's not out of the ordinary," roseanne traces the tattoo on y/n's elbow. to roseanne, the tattoos that y/n got were beautiful, it fit the musician well and gave her that badass look that she loves so much. "is there anything i can do to help you de-stress?" roseanne asked innocently but her intentions were far from it. somehow, y/n always made her feel needy.

"you know i'd love nothing more than to please you, but you're tired and so am i. i just want to stay like this," roseanne feels a kiss getting planted on her head and she smiles. she's content and happy. if this was what heaven felt like, roseanne was glad to die tomorrow.

"okay..we can stay like this," roseanne looks out at the city view of seoul once more, her heart beating for the girl with tattoos sitting next to her. "i want to write a song," y/n suddenly blurted out. "oh yeah? what about?"

roseanne is sure she saw an angel with the way y/n was looking at her. post recording studio haze, brown hair messy, lips shining from the beer she's been nursing, eyes holding so much admiration; oozing with what roseanne believed was love. y/n looked absolutely stunning.

"about us." two words, yet roseanne felt like she was floating.

roseanne continues to watch the interview of y/n. she's dressed in lisa's shirt, lisa's sweatpants but she wished deep down that she was smelling the scent of y/n and not lisa.

"what are some of the crucial parts that your fans should look out for?"

"i don't necessarily think that there's crucial parts, i think the whole song is crucial and that they should look out for the whole thing."

"you said that someone had helped you write this song, do you mind telling us who helped you write it? was it jennie?"

roseanne scoffs, how could she forget? three months after the break up, y/n was already moved on with another girl. runway model jennie kim.

it hurts roseanne's heart to know just how easily replaceable she was to y/n. exactly a year has passed since the break up and it took roseanne eight whole months to get over y/n and another two just to date someone else. someone that creepily resembled y/n.

"uhm..no, it's not jennie who helped me write the song. it was actually a..friend of mine who helped me. she's a good writer."

"your credits for the song include a lot of brilliant producers and composers but one name caught our attention. for the lyric credits, you're credited but also someone who goes by ROSÉ was credited. is she the friend you're talking about?"

"...yeah. rosé is the friend i'm talking about."

"you have some very talented friends y/n,"

"yeah, they're all very talented."

"is this friend of yours an upcoming composer or lyricist?"

"no, she's actually just a normal human being with a normal occupation."

"your fans around the world are quite the detectives, they noticed the shift of tone and lyrics in the second half of the song. would you mind explaining your train of thought during the switch from being in love to sudden heart break?"

roseanne catches herself holding her breath. she hasn't listened to the new song yet, she was too afraid. afraid that if she does, she'll go back crawling to y/n and begging her to take her back despite her being the one who broke roseanne's heart.

she and lisa have something great going on, there's something blossoming and she's eager to know what it is and how it'll play out. will it be the same or will it not? something inside roseanne tells her that lisa is different, but she can't shake off the feeling of wanting to be back in y/n's arms, hearing her whisper lies that roseanne wishes were real.

"as i stated earlier, this song is also about putting your heart on the line, so in the beginning it's all happiness, potential love that the couple feels but as the song progresses like how a relationship progresses, it turned bitter and empty and i wanted to portray how the relationship went from beginning to end in the song. so as the relationship bloomed in the beginning, the song starts happy but as the relationship took a turn and became cold, the other half of the song turned empty. the song progresses the way the relationship progressed."

"that's really deep. it seems like it's personal to you, did you take on this song from personal experience?"

roseanne already knows how this part goes, she's watched it two times already, but that doesn't mean each time hurt any less, in fact, it hurt more.

"no. not from personal experience. like i said, it was just on a whim."

roseanne breaks down, her body shakes as she reaches for the remote and shuts off the television like an idiot. now that roseanne knew that she was just a 'whim' to y/n, she feels incredibly stupid for yearning for her.

she curls onto the blanket she brought down with her, she snuggles into lisa's sweatshirt and despite the pain seeping into the cracks that she temporarily fixed, she wished she was smelling y/n instead.

that laundry detergent smell mixed with flowers and cologne. roseanne wants to smell it again.

"rosie? baby?" roseanne sits up, a dark figure blocking her view. roseanne is engulfed in the same scent on her clothes, "yeah lisa?"

roseanne watches the tall girl take a seat beside her. her big brown eyes shining despite the darkness in the room. "what are you doing down here baby? i woke up and you weren't by my side," lisa pouts and roseanne can't help the giggle that escapes her mouth. her eyes trained on lisa's lips and she suddenly remembers a different pair. "i'm sorry babe..i just couldn't fall back asleep and i didn't want to disturb you with my tossing and turning," roseanne lets the lies flow right out of her mouth. she didn't want to but she was used to it.

"can we go back to bed then? i promise i'll find a way to make you fall asleep," lisa tucks her head into roseanne's neck and starts kissing the soft skin. roseanne bites her lip and closes her eyes, she feels her heart speed up at the memory of y/n doing the exact same thing. "close your eyes rosie.." roseanne complies, and sucks in a breath when y/n kisses her pulse point just behind her left ear. lisa continues to suck on her pulse point, sucking then nipping before kissing it, this action continues and when roseanne opens up her eyes, y/n's gone.

"let's go back to bed?" lisa asks, her breath quiet as her lips hover over roseanne's. roseanne squeals when lisa lifts her up by her thighs and tugs off her own sweatshirt around the lilac's torso, leaving her naked from the top up.

roseanne lets herself enjoy being in lisa's arms. somewhere deep inside her, her heart beats, it's not quick, but it beats steadily and it beats for lisa,

not y/n.

~

roseanne regrets choosing an occupation that involved tattooing people, she should curse her love for art. why did she try so hard to become a tattoo artist in one of seoul's most exclusive parlours? one where wealthy celebrities loved visiting? why did she decide to stay at the exact place where she met y/n?

because if she just became more independent, she wouldn't have to see y/n with a certain jennie kim on her arm.

"oye! y/n! you're back, i was wondering when you'd be back!" hanbin, one of the tattooists, exclaims. y/n doesn't spare roseanne a glance, why would she? she has a new girl toy on her arm. roseanne smells the same scent, roseanne sees the same eyes she's still hopelessly in love with.

"yeah, decided to get a new ink. are there any new designs?" roseanne watches as y/n's hand tightly grasps jennie's, their bodies flush together and their smiles exclusively for each other. jisoo – roseanne's best friend and one of the few people who knew what went down between roseanne and y/n – speaks up.

"do you need me to beat her to a pulp?" jisoo asks, her hands already in fists but roseanne can't find it in her heart to see y/n hurt. "no unnie, it's okay," roseanne looks back down and restarts her sketch that got interrupted when the brunette haired girl walked in with her runway model girlfriend. "what are you drawing rosie?" roseanne looks at her drawing and sees a pair of eyes staring back at hers. "oooh, did little rosie draw lisa's eyes?" jisoo coos and roseanne wants to cry,

because it's not lisa's eyes.

"random set of eyes, i guess." roseanne shrugs and pretends to be unaffected, but she's so affected, especially when she sees y/n kissing jennie kim as they look through tattoo designs.

hanbin shoots roseanne a pitiful look, he was friends with both her and y/n. 'are you okay?' hanbin mouths to her and roseanne just gives a tight lipped smile. "i'll be in the back unnie, call me when there's another customer," jisoo nods and takes over roseanne's spot on the counter.

roseanne sits on the bean bag in the back, she puts a hand on her heart, begging it to stop beating so badly. she doesn't want to, but she can't help but reminisce. she reminisces on the time y/n held her hand like that, she reminisces on the time y/n kissed her like that, she reminisced on the time y/n brought her with her to get another tattoo, one that roseanne drew and tattooed herself on y/n's arm. the intimacy y/n showed her made roseanne believe that it was so much more. it made her believe it was real.

y/n was her lover, y/n was her liar.

"hey rosie! you have a visitor," roseanne furrows her eyebrows, it was eight in the evening, who would visit her during this time? roseanne gets up from the bean bag and doesn't think too much when she sees jisoo's smirking face.

walking up to the counter where she was moments ago, her eyes train on a tall slim figure. brown doe eyes, brown hair, lips as plump as pillows. lisa. her lisa was standing before her, holding a plastic bag in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. "hi baby," for some odd reason, roseanne looks to where y/n was and hoped she'd see, but she doesn't or she just doesn't care to.

"hi babe," roseanne can't help but smile when lisa smiles back at her, the crinkle to her eyes, the pearly white teeth. it looked similar to another brown haired girl but roseanne shakes that thought out of her head. "what brings you here? i thought you had a business conference in Thailand?" lisa shakes her head and moves her way towards roseanne, roseanne eagerly takes lisa's hand and intertwines them. she felt rather safe in lisa's presence. "i couldn't help not seeing you so i flew back earlier. i brought your favourites," it was at that moment that roseanne could smell the flowery-cologne she grew to love. she turns away from lisa and sees y/n at the counter with jennie. roseanne turns desperately to see if jisoo was at the counter, but she curses when she sees jisoo tending to another customer and hanbin already starting on a new tattoo for a customer.

roseanne gives lisa an apologetic smile and lisa just squeezes her hand, "go ahead, i'll be right beside you," roseanne was glad that y/n was busy on her phone or else it would've been awkward for her to see her with someone else that looked eerily like her. it was either, roseanne had a type, or y/n was roseanne's only type.

roseanne clears her throat to bring y/n's attention away from her phone. y/n looks up and roseanne gets lost in the swirls of brown coffee. "hey rosie," y/n smiles and roseanne hates her for it. "hi," roseanne responds, "you know her baby?" jennie asks, her tone light and full of curiosity, "yeah, a friend," y/n responds easily, almost like she's rehearsed that line countless times. "hey chae, y/n just picked a design today, you can just charge her ₩20,000 for it," hanbin calls out to her when he sees that y/n made it to the counter.

roseanne nods and punches in a few numbers on the cashier before the money box pops open. "₩23,000 please," roseanne can't take her eyes off of y/n. the girl was wearing a black leather jacket with jeans that shaped her legs so well and black Blundstone boots. everything about y/n just screamed 'badass' and that was exactly what roseanne loved. she loved the look of danger that y/n had to her doll like face, it was like a breath of fresh air seeing how y/n was. y/n was something out of roseanne's element and during the time she had her, roseanne loved every bit of risk she took.

"cash or card?" roseanne asks, and y/n pulls out her black credit card. "card rosie," y/n sends her a smile and roseanne just wants to slap her, get mad at her and then kiss her. she hates that y/n is acting like nothing significant happened to them, she hates how y/n is smiling at her like she didn't have someone new on her arm, someone that easily replaced her. someone easily more beautiful than roseanne replaced her in y/n's life after just three months.

y/n was the epitome of a dick, a player but roseanne can't help but be desperate for more. she loved the danger she felt when she was with y/n.

after y/n paid and sent roseanne another smile that she was sure was going to kill her, she left. she didn't spare roseanne another glance, instead she kissed the model on the forehead and led her out by the waist.

"now that that's over, want to head to the back and eat?" right, lisa is here. roseanne turns to her and nods, slipping her hand into lisa's to mask the pain of seeing y/n. "thank you lisa," roseanne says because she is thankful for the taller girl, lisa smiles and kisses roseanne on the forehead, roseanne closes her eyes and suddenly it's y/n who's kissing her head.

the flowery-cologne smell that roseanne loved engulfed her nose as y/n leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on the head, "you have nothing to be afraid of rosie..i'm here, you have all of me."

"of course pretty girl, i'd do anything for you," roseanne knows that line all too well, her past partners were brilliant at saying that line but never meaning it, but something deep inside roseanne knocks and makes her believe for a split second that maybe, just maybe, lisa did mean it.

and when roseanne opens up her eyes again, y/n vanishes and it's lisa who's speaking to her, eyes filled with something y/n never had...

then something clicks in roseanne; lisa meant it.

~

roseanne thought it was a good idea too. lisa suggested going on a candle lit dinner at a restaurant that overlooked all of seoul, it was going well, she was laughing at lisa's attempts to come up with jokes, she was listening intently at lisa's stories and lisa was listening intently to hers.

but when lisa excused herself to go to the bathroom, it started again.

roseanne looked down and saw herself wearing the same dress she wore to the candle lit dinner y/n brought her to last year. roseanne had millions of dresses, dresses she's bought herself and dresses lisa has bought her but her hands unconsciously moved to the little black dress that she wore the night y/n brought her to a candle lit dinner.

the music was playing, a quiet jazz band that y/n had hired for them was playing a tune roseanne knew all too well. "you really made them play 'love' by nat king cole?" y/n shrugged, her off the shoulder dress riding up and down her arms. "you love that song, how can i not?" roseanne laughed, her hand covering her mouth. "stop covering your mouth," y/n pouted and roseanne scrunched her eyebrows together, "why?"

"i like seeing your whole face when you laugh, i think it's beautiful," roseanne was sure she died and then was resurrected because she felt her brain short circuit. "i didn't tell you earlier but you look stunning tonight, every day you do but something about you in this little black dress has you looking different," roseanne shifted in her seat under the gaze of y/n that made her feel like she was going to melt right then and there. "i think you look extra beautiful tonight y/n/n, you're always beautiful," y/n flips her hair and giggles, the sound making its way into roseanne's heart and staying there, rent free.

"i know rosie, i get compliments on my looks every day.." roseanne looked down in embarrassment, of course y/n would know how beautiful she was, literally everyone in the world reminded her every day. "-but it feels different coming from you."

roseanne's smile came back and y/n holds her hand on top of the table, "do you want to dance with me? i've been told that i have mad dance skills," roseanne glares at y/n and slaps her lightly, "oh yeah? and who exactly told you that?" roseanne was never jealous, she could care less if her partners had other partners before her, but y/n just ignited something in her, a fiery fire that held possessiveness.

y/n smiles her cheeky smile while pulling roseanne up to her feet despite her resisting. "says my mom," y/n winks at her and roseanne can't help but slap the girl.

"i hate you," roseanne mutters as y/n takes her in her arms and sways her softly to the beat of the music.

"no you don't,"

and y/n was right, roseanne didn't. she never could, because she loved her.

"rosie? baby?" roseanne didn't realize that lisa was in front of her before it was too late. a tear escaped her eyes then another. lisa is looking at her with so much confusion but roseanne really doesn't want to answer questions. roseanne is desperate for something to grab onto, something she can squeeze to make the tears stop from flowing. but she finds nothing, so she pushes her chair back and swats at lisa's hands.

"s-sorry.." she mutters before running out of the restaurant.

roseanne breathes in the cold air of seoul, her body was shaking, her tears were flowing freely down her cheeks, ruining her makeup she worked so hard on. she hated y/n, she hated her. she hated how she still controlled her heart, she hated how she still lived in her mind. roseanne hated how y/n still had power over her, a power that she can't seem to shake away no matter how long or how much she tries, it's not going away and roseanne hates it. she needs to move on, she needs to not care anymore, but each time her eyes close, y/n's stupidly beautiful face is staring back at her, taunting her because it knows that she'll never move on. she'll never move on from y/n. the stupid soloist who captured her heart and never bothered to give it back; roseanne is still desperately begging for each piece of her heart back.

"roseanne?! chaeyoung?!" roseanne hears footsteps approaching her, lisa's dress shoes clacking on the cement. roseanne continues to shake, breathing unsteady and hands shaking. "rosie..baby, what's going on?" roseanne hears lisa's voice and it's like the light at the end of a tunnel. she can't help but turn around and melt into the embrace that lisa allows her to take. she sinks deeper into lisa, closer, scratching to hear lisa's heart, she needs to hear something, feel something other than the beating of her own heart. a heart that beats for y/n but a piece that beats for lisa.

"tell me what's wrong rosie..please," roseanne knows it's a good idea to tell her current lover about her ex and the tragic story that took place, one that fucked up her heart and mind, but she can't find it in herself to tell lisa. maybe she just doesn't want to go back to the good days where she was sure y/n loved her or maybe she just doesn't want to tell lisa because if she does, she'll be able to move on and despite needing to, a conflicting part of roseanne wants the memories of y/n to stay.

so roseanne doesn't and lisa doesn't push her.

instead, she kisses roseanne's lips and roseanne temporarily gets lost in the thai girl who was holding her.

~

"don't you think lisa looks..just a little bit like y/n..?" jisoo asks slowly, careful with her words so she doesn't hurt roseanne. "what? where'd you get that from unnie?" roseanne plays coy, "you know what i'm talking about roseanne. lisa, your current lover looks like y/n lee. the looks, the personality, the fucking height, have you gone mad rosie?" caution was out the window, jisoo was tired of seeing roseanne hurt herself over and over again. they were best friends for a reason.

"they aren't alike unnie," jisoo gives roseanne the 'what the fuck' face and roseanne lowers her head, she was waiting for this day to come, ever since she told jisoo she was seeing lisa, she already knew by the look in the older girl's eyes that she saw what roseanne saw, but it just surprised her that it took her this long to bring it up.

"your own mom is scared for you rosie, lisa looks like y/n and acts like y/n, the only difference is that lisa is the owner of LM International while y/n is a singer, a popular singer at that. they're both rich too. rosie, i'm saying this because i love you, but you have to move on from y/n. it's clear that she doesn't give a fuck about you because if she did, she wouldn't have found a new girl just three months after you two broke up."

roseanne lets out an exasperated sigh, she tugs at her lilac locks and looks at jisoo with tear filled eyes. "you don't you think i've tried jisoo? i've tried for eight months jisoo! i've tried to move on for eight fucking months unnie but each time i feel like it's getting better, she slips back into my thoughts, into my memories and i hate my fucking self because some part of me wants it. i know she doesn't care, i know she never loved me but if you were in my position and spent more than a year with her, you'd understand how i feel. she treated me like she loved me, she made me feel like i was the only one for her. she made me believe what we had was so beautiful and real, and i was the stupid one who believed it all. she has a game, everyone around me warned me, but for the time we were together, she made me believe like it wasn't."

roseanne drops to her knees and buries her face into her arms because it hurts, it hurts so fucking much that roseanne doesn't know if it'll ever go away. jisoo joins her because she's hurting for roseanne. the younger girl doesn't deserve to go through this, roseanne doesn't deserve to be left like a stray dog all because she was in love, in love with a person who made her believe it was real.

"i-i love lisa..i know i do, but each time i face her, each time i look into her eyes, i see y/n."

~

it was dinner time when roseanne got the notification. lisa was happily talking about something that happened in work and roseanne was paying attention, that was until her phone chimed and a post notification popped up. 'ynlee' posted a photo. roseanne knows she shouldn't have her ex's post notifications on, but she can't find it in herself to remove it.

instead of a selfie, a picture of a scenery, or a goofy picture with jennie - it's a picture of jennie sitting naked on a stool. jennie has her breasts covered, her legs crossed, and a hand on her stomach.

roseanne's stomach churned, she wasn't stupid to know what the photo was about, but she didn't want to believe it. she couldn't believe it. they were together for a lesser time than she and y/n were. it can't be real.

but then roseanne sees the millions of likes piling up, the comments rapidly increasing and the caption.

the caption is where roseanne's heart shatters into a million little pieces, the caption is what makes all of roseanne's efforts fly out the window. eight months and counting wasted and down the drain all because of one caption. one photo.

'ynlee: hello world, we're pregnant.'

roseanne's phone drops to the ground and she's struggling to breathe, the room is suddenly spinning.

all roseanne can hear and make out is lisa's figure going to her in a panicked state, calling out her name in a scared voice, before everything turns black.

~

"rosie? rosie?" roseanne flutters her eyes open and is greeted with a concerned looking lisa and jisoo. "thank fuck roseanne, i thought you were going to die," the said woman sits up and rubs her eyes, "what happened?" lisa takes her hand into her own and strokes the soft skin, the action making roseanne smile. "you fainted when you were on your phone so i called over doctor bae and she's coming back with your test results."

roseanne sits still on the bed, her hand un-moving against lisa's. suddenly, everything came back to her like a freight truck.

her ex, the pregnancy.

oh how roseanne wished she'd just continue sleeping on forever. "how long have i been passed out for?" jisoo grabs roseanne a cup of water and places it on the bedside table. "three hours," lisa stands up and looks at her phone, "doctor joohyun is here. i'll go down to the lobby and let her up," lisa gives roseanne a sweet smile before pecking her forehead then leaning down to kiss her lips. "ew! you're going to be gone for like a minute lisa, stop trying to jump my best friend," jisoo pushes the younger girl away and makes a disgusted face when lisa pouts.

as soon as lisa's footsteps are gone, jisoo sits on the bed. "i opened your phone and it opened up to y/n's new post," roseanne avoids jisoo's eyes. she's guilty and she knows it. she shouldn't have been checking on her ex's instagram page.

"unnie-"

"no. you don't get 'unnie' me this time chaeyoung. she gives zero fucks about you, why are you still trying to get her attention," roseanne felt highly offended by what jisoo had said. she wasn't begging for y/n's attention, she just didn't know how to let it be when she still held onto the memories of the soloist. "i am not trying to get her attention," jisoo gets up roughly and takes roseanne's phone. she opens it up and shoves y/n's profile in roseanne's face. "you have her fucking post notifications on roseanne! why are you doing this to yourself? you have an amazing girl that's loving you right now, shouldn't that be enough?! why do you have to seek validation with this asshole?"

roseanne held onto the sheets beneath her. now wasn't the right time to blow up and expose herself of secrets she's kept for the past year or so.

y/n's warmth, her smile, her voice, the way she made roseanne feel. it all felt so real, so good and roseanne wasn't ready to come off that high. "she's moved on chaeyoung. i don't know how many times you have to hear this, but she's moved on. she doesn't love you, she loves jennie. she's about to start a family, it's time for you to let her go and love the girl who's doing her best to fix you and love you. lisa is right there chaeyoung, she holds you when y/n doesn't. she loved you when y/n didn't. she's there and y/n isn't. you have to realize that and remember that, because no matter how hard you try to pretend, no matter how hard you try to close your eyes and imagine y/n in front of you, you'll only be met with reality."

jisoo shoves the phone into roseanne's hand and the lilac girl stares at it, she stares at it hard and wants to cry, but she can't.

"-and that reality is...lisa isn't y/n. so you either let y/n go and let yourself move on, or let lisa go and stop wasting her time."

at that moment, lisa walked in with joohyun, "hey guys- did we interrupt something?" lisa quickly notices roseanne's eyes and how sad they look, lisa quickly realizes that jisoo isn't all smiley as she was minutes ago.

"no. i was just talking to rosie about something. i'll get going now lisa, tell me how it goes after," jisoo quickly leaves and roseanne is stuck with all the words her best friend has put into her mind.

if she were to let y/n go, how different would her relationship with lisa turn out?

love is all same, the same game, what difference would it be with lisa? roseanne doesn't know but she's sinking and she needs to find out soon.

"we ran some tests while you were sleeping rosie just in case anything has actually happened, but your results came back and you're perfectly fine. you're a little too exhausted so i suggest you rest more and also eat more, i noticed you've been getting thinner," joohyun turns to lisa and pats her on the shoulder. "make sure she eats lis," lisa smiles brightly and roseanne looks away, she can't handle that right now. not when lisa looks exactly like y/n.

~

it was a bright afternoon when roseanne walked into lisa's home office. the two have been exclusive for months now and lisa's home became roseanne's home. after weeks of trying to process it all, accept it all and try to move on from it all, roseanne was stuck. she couldn't. she wanted to but didn't want to. she needed to but it was heavy on her heart to hold onto the memories of y/n, it was just too good to let go.

"lisa?"

after working on countless reports and business proposals, lisa finally looked up from the computer and papers on her desk. "yes baby?" taking her glasses off, she finally sees roseanne walking towards her. "i need...i need to tell you something," lisa immediately pushes off her chair and motions for roseanne to sit on her lap.

roseanne holds herself from reminiscing on a certain memory with y/n when she sees lisa opening her arms wide for her to cuddle into.

"rosie? what are you doing here?" y/n has been working in the studio non-stop lately and roseanne was starting to feel lonely. "i..i needed to see you," y/n smiles that boyish smile that roseanne absolutely adored. "really? well why don't you come here and sit on my lap," y/n pats her jean covered thighs and takes off her earphones that have been on for hours.

roseanne doesn't protest and immediately sits on y/n's thighs, the muscular flesh flexed when roseanne's bare thighs sat on them. "i like your dress baby," y/n caresses roseanne's thigh lightly and plays with the flow of the sun dress. sun dresses always matched roseanne, it was like seeing the sun and moon together, it just fit.

"thank you y/n/n.." roseanne hid her face in y/n's neck. sighing in contentment at being in the arms of her lover once again, she plants small kisses onto the soft skin.

inhaling a breath full of roseanne's scent, y/n feels her heart beat. it beats slow, then fast until y/n doesn't know how to suppress it. "what's been on your mind beautiful?" roseanne looks up and sees y/n looking down at her with warm eyes, the same eyes that held so much dedication and love. roseanne was certain she was in love.

"i love you."

three words, eight letters. how could that weigh so much? y/n had no idea, all she knew was that her heart was threatening to leave her chest and hop into roseanne's hands.

instead of saying it back, y/n smiles, kisses roseanne's lips and whispers a tender:

"i know."

"roseanne? are you alright?" roseanne looks up at lisa and she notices that she hasn't moved from her spot at all. "oh..sorry baby," roseanne walks and lands herself on lisa's lap. the thai woman wraps her arms around the tattoo artist and perches her chin on roseanne's shoulder. "what do you want to talk about?"

"i have to tell you something," roseanne turns herself so that she's straddling lisa's lap. the younger girl takes roseanne's stray hair and tucks it behind her ear. "talk to me beautiful, tell me what's on your mind."

this is it. pour your heart out and tell the truth. you got this roseanne.

"i don't know if i fully love you.." maybe it wasn't the right thing to say first but roseanne had to be truthful and this was her being truthful. sure, the look on lisa's face hurt roseanne's heart but she needed to continue. she didn't want to keep lisa in the dark, she wasn't like that.

"...because some parts of my heart belongs to someone else." lisa doesn't stop stroking roseanne's cheek even when she was breaking her heart. something in her knew that roseanne was worth it, so she didn't mind getting hurt for the girl that was going to be worth it all in the end.

"who's that someone else rosie? let me help you forget them,"

"y/n lee."

"i was hoping it wasn't her..but i guess i was right," roseanne's eyes go wide and she looks at lisa with confusion in her features. "what?"

"i didn't want to admit it that time, but i saw the way you looked at her chae, in the tattoo shop. you looked at her with longing eyes as she walked away with the brown haired girl."

roseanne cups lisa's cheek, she brings their foreheads together and she weeps. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry.." lisa doesn't get mad, lisa doesn't thrash around and scream at her, instead, lisa holds her tighter than ever before; kisses her forehead and says, "i'd do anything for you, pretty girl. you can break my heart, i'll embrace it."

roseanne has heard that many times before, men and women have said it to her but none ever meant it. but something inside roseanne was knocking, itching and wanting to be let in.

somehow roseanne knew that lisa meant it.

~

5 Years Later

~

"baby?!" roseanne gets up from her knees after finding the missing pair from her socks. "yes lisa?!" roseanne chuckles when she hears lisa run up the stairs, "are we good to go? do you have everything you need?" roseanne nods and walks up to lisa, she wraps her arms around the girl and plants her lips on lisa's cheek. "i do baby, everything's good. we can go."

lisa turns to her and caresses her stomach. "perfect."

the resort was filled with equally as important people like lisa but roseanne was there to enjoy her stay and make new memories. "i'll go check us in, is that alright with you baby?" roseanne nods and lets go of lisa's hand. "i'll stay here and wait for you then," lisa kisses the lilac girl on the forehead before walking off to the receptionist.

roseanne watches lisa walk away, she sighs in content at the realization that lalisa manoban is all hers.

"roseanne?" roseanne turns to that voice, that voice that used to haunt her in her sleep and torment her everyday life.

"y/n."

y/n smiles and notices that roseanne is all by herself. "i didn't think i'd see you here," roseanne shrugs and laughs when she sees the amount of Chanel bags y/n had around her. "lisa just purchased this resort so she wanted us to experience it," roseanne plays with the golden band on her finger and y/n watches her do so.

"where's jennie?" roseanne asks. if this were five years, that name would've stung her mouth greatly. "she's on a call right now," roseanne nods and watches as the girl looks down to her stomach. "how long?"

"two months," roseanne's smile grows even bigger when she remembers the human growing inside of her. pure joy and love spreads through her body. "how are your kids?"

"they're doing great, really great."

no more words are exchanged between them, only their eyes talk.

finally having enough of the silence, y/n opens her mouth to talk but gets interrupted when a small body crashes into roseanne's legs.

"mommy! you're here!" y/n looks down at the black haired boy with big eyes looking up at roseanne. "hi baby, how'd you find me?"

"jaehyun! i told you not to run off like that," lisa runs towards roseanne and jaehyun, not noticing the other figure standing with them. "sorry mama, halmeoni let me!" lisa chuckles and ruffles her son's hair only now noticing y/n standing with them.

"oh. hey y/n," y/n smiles and nods her head politely.

"i won't keep you roseanne. it was nice seeing you rosie," roseanne smiles at her ex and tightens her hold on lisa's hand. "it was nice seeing you as well y/n," y/n turns around when she gets called by jennie. the brown haired girl was finished on the phone and was waving over for her wife.

"i gotta go, jennie's calling for me. it was lovely seeing you as well lisa."

both lisa and roseanne watch y/n walk off and end up in the arms of jennie, both women watch as jennie kisses y/n's cheek and y/n kisses her on the lips.

"you good to go rosie?" lisa breaks the silence and bends down to carry jaehyun. the toddler got tired easily. roseanne takes one last stare at y/n, her heart is beating normally, she doesn't feel a longing on her heart.

she smiles contently and turns to face lisa. her lisa. the lisa who gave her kids and continues to love her through thick and thin, through her break downs and through her successes. "yeah..i'm good to go baby," lisa smiles and roseanne's heart flutters.

it flutters out of her chest and into the sky.

they walk away, hand in hand and when roseanne closes her eyes...

...all she sees is lisa.

- fin.

[whereisten]

Valentine Boy

(MOBILE-FRIENDLY VERS.)

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3.1 | Part 3.2 | Part 3.3 | more coming soon

Special Cover Art by @nakayutasama ❤️

Summary:

You’ve been dating College Student!Jaehyun for a few months now. He’s unbelievably sweet, smart, oh..and very handsome. Best of all, he gives you the best love you’ve ever had. He’s the love of your life and you can’t see anything going wrong as your relationship sails smoothly..that is..until you discover his biggest secret. He’s been hiding the fact that he’s a camboy and you start to wonder..Is Jaehyun as sweet and honest as you think he is?

Pairing: female reader X college student and camboy!Jaehyun

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: cursing, cheating, cam boy (video-recorded sex with online audience), deception, manipulation, blackmail, alcohol use, descriptive smut (fingering, overstimulation, face riding, dirty talk, BDSM themes (handcuff usage, spanking), drunk sex, oral sex (m&f receiving), some masturbation, rough sex, vaginal penetration, breast fondling, dry humping, semi-public sex).

(A/N): I received a message saying that Part 3 was difficult to read on mobile, the app would glitch and eventually close (because we love tumblr for being efficient). So I am splitting part 3 into 3 equal parts of about 7K words each for easier reading. Thank you all again for supporting this fic!!!!🥺❤️

Jaehyun pulls away and looks into your eyes. “Are you hungry?”

You shake your head. “Not really.”

He chuckles. “Me neither. Let’s get out of here.”

He takes your hand and leads you to his car. He then drives and parks in an empty parking lot. A soft song plays in the background as you begin to kiss again.

Jaehyun’s tongue traces over your bottom lip. You turn your head and run your hand down his chest, your delicate touch sending shivers up his spine.

Your hand travels all the way down to his jeans and rubs his bulge. He fidgets and moans into your mouth.

Jaehyun growls out:

“Needy.” *kiss*

“Girl.” *kiss*

You laugh, but continue to press onto the growing tent.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” You whisper.

“It was kinda hot.” Jaehyun kisses your neck and pulls your leg over his lap. “I was thinking of how I would punish you for it..how I’d shut you up.”

You climb over the center console and onto his lap, his arm around your waist as he helps you.

He pushes the seat back and puts his hands behind his head.

“No teasing this time, baby.”

You nod, quickly unbuttoning your shirt. The cold night air hits your chest but the warmth in the car quickly comforts it.

Jaehyun then pulls your bra down, your breasts popping out from it and bouncing gently.

He leans forward to palm both nipples, watching you as you bite your lips and moan quietly. The stars shining on your skin through the sunroof.

He licks one of your nipples and listens to you cry out. Your head falling back as he flattens his tongue against your heated skin once more.

He looks up at you through his lashes then sucks your nipple.

“Jaehyun..that feels so good.”

He hums and sucks as you move back and forth on his lap. His bulge presses against your underwear as your skirt slides up your thighs.

He zips his jeans down. You watch his length spring out, the tip red and dripping with pre cum. You could orgasm from the sight alone.

You leave your skirt on but shimmy out of your panties. He then pulls out a condom and glides it down onto himself.

“Come here..” Jaehyun calls to you then lays back down on the seat. You lower yourself slowly, thankful for your own essence that allows him to enter you easily.

“Fuck.” You mutter once he fills you up completely. You feel every ridge of every vein run against your silky walls. For some reason, he feels bigger than usual.

You move up and down and swivel your hips. Jaehyun’s dick glides into you easily now, your wet entrance happily greeting it each time.

Jaehyun watches you through low eyes. He doesn’t smile, but he doesn’t frown. It’s a blank face, it’s almost like he’s not really there with you.

The truth is, Jaehyun was thinking about how close he was to being caught. You went to his workplace and discovered the truth. He was able to cover it up quickly but he made you feel bad in the process. A part of him truly regretted lying to you. But he knew one day he would find a way to explain it all to you and he knew you would forgive him because you love him.

Your whimpers grow louder as you approach your climax, but Jaehyun is nowhere near his. You bounce up and down faster, hissing as you take in sharp breaths and closing your eyes as you clench.

He stares at you again and thinks of how precious you are to him. Your face is beautiful even as your mouth falls open into loud moans and your eyes shut tightly. Your jawline and neck sparkle not only with sweat, but the reflection of the stars above you.

Your womanhood feels amazing around him as it always does. He rubs your clit to push you further along.

“You can do it, baby, cum for me.” His deep voice echos.

The car is filled with lewd sounds of skin on skin and your cries.

“J-Jaehyun..” your name falls from his lips. He watches your perky nipples. He palms one with his other hand then pumps your breast.

You cum hard not long after. Curse words leave your lips as you fall apart on him. He continues to push into you, even as you clench uncontrollably around him.

He grips your waist and slams you down onto him, your tight pussy providing sensational vibrations to his cock.

“Ahh..that’s it, sweetheart.” Jaehyun grunts

“Baby!” Your eyes fly open. You are so sensitive and on the brink of passing out from your intense orgasm but he doesn’t stop to let you recover.

He pushes into you hard from below, you breathe heavily and look up at the sky as tears fall from your eyes.

“This pussy is mine right?” Jaehyun growls.

“Y-yes…yes.” Your head is empty as he continues to fuck into your body from below.

He then cums and stares at your body above him, so beautiful, so perfect.

You lay on top of him for a moment. He holds you against him in his arms.

“I’m sorry..” He whispers then kisses your ear.

“I’m sorry, too.” You whisper back.

A few minutes later, you get into the passenger seat and let Jaehyun drive you home.

However, he has to make a stop at the gas station to fill up.

When he goes inside to pay the cashier, you grab his phone.

You tried to think of the security code. What could it have been? You tried his birthday, but it didn’t work, you tried several other basic combinations like ‘1,2,3,4’ or ‘9,8,7,6’ they didn’t work.

Jaehyun was still inside, but you only had one more try before his phone would lock  itself for a few minutes.

You thought for a minute then tried one final code..your birthday. And it worked.

You quickly went to your contact name on his phone and selected “share my location.” This way, if you ever needed to get to him, you would know exactly where he is.

The idea sounded crazy to you, but a part of you still felt unsure about everything. You wanted to bring up the text messages you saw, but you knew that would make him upset again. He’d ask why you invaded his privacy. So instead, you decide to have his location turned on for you to see…just in case.

Jaehyun gets back in the car and you’ve already placed his phone back in the cup holder.

“Let’s get out of here..” he gives you a wide smile and winks.

————

[A Few Days Later at 12:33 PM]

You to Jaehyun: hey baby, just got out of class, what are you up to

Jaehyun to You: getting ready for work at 1, I’ll be free at 3:30, I’ll come over to your place

You to Jaehyun: sounds good, love u

Jaehyun to You: I love you, too

You immediately place your phone back into the pocket of your shorts and head for the bus loop at your university. These buses were free and available for students, staff, and professors to use. Since you didn’t have a car, you found it very convenient, for there was always a route that could bring you to or at least close enough to your desired destination.

You had to see where Jaehyun was when he went to work. Something didn’t feel right and your mind hadn’t been at ease for days. You wanted to trust Jaehyun, but you couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation for his weird schedule and the way he would act whenever you asked him about his job. It was like he didn’t want to talk about it. He’d change the subject.

You got on a bus that would take you in the direction of where he worked. You went to his contact name in your phone once you sat down, and at 1PM, you saw that he was no longer moving based on his blinking dot, he was stable in a location after traveling there. When you looked closer, you realized that the location he was at was not his work address. It was close, but not exactly where his work was.

After about 20 minutes, you pulled the string to let the driver know that you wanted to get off at the next stop.

You stepped off and proceeded on the rest of your journey on foot, walking closer and closer to where the blinking dot was.

When you were just a few feet away from him, but very far from the building he claimed to work in, you noticed that you were in an apartment complex.

Your heart started to beat fast. What could he possibly be doing here?

You walked closer and closer, eventually to the very apartment building he was in. You looked at your blinking dot and at his blinking dot and saw that they were nearly on top of each other.

What would you do now? You couldn’t just knock on the door of any random apartment, people would think you’re crazy or sketchy.

You bit your lips and closed your eyes. This couldn’t be happening. You swallowed hard then did what you had to do next.

You opened Safari and went to OnlyCams, then looked up the username of the person that your best friend showed you after Valentine’s Day. Your hands started to shake, you were so nervous you felt as though you would throw up right then.

You knew your suspicions would be wrong, for Jaehyun could never do this to you. No, he loved you too much, he wouldn’t lie to you, you just had to trust him.

Live.

They’re live. Shit.

You take a deep breath and quickly make a fake account by signing up for a free trial and registering your email. It was a stretch but you had to know, you’ve gotten so close.

Once you’re finally in the chat room under the video playing, you see a couple on a couch. The male’s head isn’t shown, but the naked woman has a leash around her neck that is being pulled by him as he fucks her from behind. Her eyes are teary and her cheeks are stained with mascara as she moans. The man yanks the leash and pushes even harder, her ass hitting against his pelvis.

You narrow in on the man and the room, looking for anything that would indicate that it’s him.

He grunts, but you can’t tell if they’re his grunts.

That’s when you see a phone on the table by the couch. It’s off to the side, barely in the camera’s view point.

You take a deep breath and decide to call Jaehyun.

You put the call on speaker as it rings then switch back over to the live stream. Sure enough, the phone on the table lights up as a call comes in. You shudder. You can’t see the contact name, but it could just be a coincidence right?

The screen goes black just as the phone stops ringing. You hang up and wait for a moment.

While you wait, the couple change positions with the other woman over his lap as they sit on the couch. He chokes her while she bounced up and down on him.

You still can’t see his face, but his hands look familiar. The length of his fingers look familiar.

You swallow hard then dial him up again. The phone on the table rings.

You let out a shaky breath as tears come to your eyes. It was him, it had to have been. You end the call then exit the stream.

It becomes difficult to hold onto your phone as the reality sets in, the reality of what you had been hoping was not true. Jaehyun was cheating on you. All those times that he said he was going to work when he was really going to another woman.

You’re a fool. You thought to yourself. How could you not know that he would cheat on you?

You sat down at the end of the staircase outside of the apartments and placed your head on your arms. You cried into them hard, finding it difficult to even breathe as your world crumbled before you.

Everyone told you from the beginning that Jaehyun was a player, that he didn’t stay with one girl for too long, that his appetite could never be satisfied. But you ignored them, you trusted him and gave in to him. You thought he loved you, you thought you were different.

He made you feel like you were good enough, that he loved you more than anything in this world. He played his game so well.

“I’m so fucking gullible.” You cursed to yourself and sobbed harder. You wanted to walk home but you didn’t have any strength in your legs, you could only sit and rest your head into your arms. Even when the dark sky was about to burst with what would be the worst thunderstorm, you stayed there. You didn’t care if you got wet, you didn’t care about anything really.

You sat there for what felt like an eternity, wishing that your mom were there to comfort you, wishing that you could run until you couldn’t run anymore, with the pain of breathing and walking becoming so unbearable that it would finally overtake this pain you felt right now.

It felt like you had been stabbed in the heart and Jaehyun was watching you bleed to death.

How could he do this to you? That’s all you keep thinking.

And when it was 3:30 PM, you heard a door click open. You stood up and turned around.

Jaehyun was at the top of the staircase, locking the door behind him.

His movement froze when he turned and saw you at the bottom of it.

“Y/n?” His breathy voice echoed in the hall.

Your eyes were red and swollen, he knew you had been there crying for quite some time and he felt his heart break.

“Y/n..please..I can explain.” He hurries down the stairs but you shake your head and burst into tears as you run away from him.

He grabs your wrist and pulls you to him. “Please, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Fuck you, Jaehyun! I know it’s you, I watched it on my fucking phone! Let go!”

“No! Baby, I-“ Jaehyun’s grip doesn’t loosen as he begs you to stop.

Without thinking, you slap him with your free hand. He lets go and your mouth falls open but you don’t say anything, you turn around and run.

Jaehyun touches his red cheek then runs after you as the rain begins to pour down on both of you. “Y/n!! I’m sorry! But I can explain, just stop. Let’s talk about this!”

But you continue running. Your vision is blurry, your tears mixing with the rain as you run faster and faster. You keep going, just as long as you get away from him.

Jaehyun eventually slows down and stops following you. “Fuck.” He curses and throws his backpack to the ground.

He bends over and pants, how could he have messed up so bad? He let lust and greed take over, and now, he lost you.

———

[One Week Later]

It’s been a few days since you discovered Jaehyun’s secret. Your best friend helped you by making you laugh or helping you cook dinner. She’d take you to your favorite ice cream shop or bar and get you drunk. But unfortunately, you always ended up crying after the fun.

Everything reminded you of him, you couldn’t get his dimply smile or beautiful laugh out of your head.

You deleted his number from your phone, or rather, your best friend deleted it, but he kept texting you. You didn’t let her know this but you recognized the number.

Jaehyun to You: Please, talk to me, I messed up but I still love you

You’d receive messages like this at least twice a day. The first day after you caught him, he texted you once an hour. It was difficult but you were able to turn your phone off and cry in bed alone. He didn’t dare try to see you as you both knew your best friend would be crazy enough to cut him if he tried.

You would’ve loved some comfort and wisdom from your mom, but you knew she too loved Jaehyun. She invited him over many times and enjoyed his company. He made her laugh and smile with his charm. She would’ve been devastated if she knew what he had done.

But for now, you only had your best friend and her boyfriend.

“I feel like a complete idiot.” You said one night at dinner.

“He’s a fucking douchebag. He didn’t deserve you, but don’t worry you’ll find someone better.” Jackson, your best friend’s boyfriend tried to help you feel better. It had been a week and you guys ate out at a Korean barbecue place.

You nodded and looked at the sizzling beef.

The night went on and the three of you talked about other things so you wouldn’t think about him, but in the quiet moments you saw how cute they looked together. You remembered how cute you and Jaehyun looked together, walking hand in hand as you explored the city.

That night, when you were alone in your bed, you decided to delete the photos of him and any couple photos you had from your Instagram. You didn’t look at the pictures for long, because it would be difficult to let go, but you had to try. It was the first step you needed to take towards moving on.

But one photo caught your attention. It was the one of him in the vinyl store. You snapped a quick Polaroid of him flipping through vinyls to buy. He was adorable in his white T-shirt under a brown button down. His ears turned a peachy pink when you caught him off guard. His hair was wavy and made him look innocently cute.

He laughed and looked away shyly, like a girl that had just been asked out.

Just remembering his face sent butterflies through your stomach. You smiled to yourself as you heard him singing like you did that day.

He picked up a Styx vinyl and showed it to you.

“Look at this one..” He said while running his hand over the cover.

“Styx? Who’s that?” Your lips pursed.

“You don’t know them?”

“Never heard of them.” You shrugged.

“Oh come on, don’t you know ‘Babe?’’ His eyes widened.

“NOPE, but if you sing it to me, maybe I will.” You gave him a wink and stepped closer to him while looking into his eyes.

He chuckles and looks away. “Well, I guess it’s time to embarrass you.”

“Wait..” Your eyes grow, but Jaehyun quickly places the record down and grabs you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest.

He pecks your lips as you press your hands against his chest.

“Jaehyun!” You giggle as he lays even more kisses along your jaw and neck. People in the store turn to you and start to laugh.

“The song goes…

‘'Cause you know it’s you babe

Whenever I get weary

And I’ve had enough

Feel like giving up

You know it’s you babe’.”

He sings obnoxiously loud, but it’s beautiful. You loved hearing him sing. His voice was soothing and had a warm tone about it. You’d never heard anything like it before. The raspiness of it gave you chills every time.

Tears fall onto your pillow while you remember the good times. You go to YouTube and search for the song so that you can listen to it, knowing that it would make you cry harder. But you just wanted to hear it..just one more time.

You cried yourself to sleep again, forgetting that you were supposed to delete the photo.

—————

Jaehyun stares at the text box. He sees the blue messages he’s sent and waits for you to text him back even though he knows you won’t.

He places his phone down on the bar and rubs his tired eyes. He hadn’t slept much, he stayed up and cried sometimes over you. He hated himself for what he did and he wished he could make everything right. He hoped that one day you would give him a second chance.

But unfortunately, he just wanted to stop thinking about you for now. He missed your touch, your smile, your scent, your hair, your giggle. He missed everything. He couldn’t work with Reina anymore because he was so heartbroken to lose you. Why didn’t he just tell you honestly from the very beginning when he started this job? Why couldn’t he tell you when you had so many chances to before?

He downed another shot and swallowed the bitter liquid hard. Getting drunk would help him forget how he was feeling, if just for a few hours. He thought he wouldn’t see you if his vision was blurry.

He is too drunk to walk or drive, so he calls the one woman that would take care of him.

“Reina..I need you.” He mumbles over the phone.

Reina is ecstatic as she drives Jaehyun home. She’s more than happy about the breakup and believes that he will finally be hers.

“Take me to your apartment, I can’t let anyone on campus see me like this.” Jaehyun leans against the passenger window. He starts to sober up and hates himself once again for calling on Reina for help.

When they get back to her apartment, Reina pours herself a glass of wine and sits on the couch next to Jaehyun.

He bends over and screams, but she’s unaffected.

“Damn it!” He lets out.

She swirls her wine while looking at the glass in her pretty hand.

“This is all your fault!” Jaehyun yells.

“Are you talking to yourself, Jaehyun?” She takes a long sip then places the glass down.

“No! I’m talking to you. You ruined my relationship. I was so happy with her..then you came along and offered me this fucking job.” Jaehyun sat up straight and looked at the floor while crossing his arms. His hair is disheveled and his face is red.

She laughs. “This is my fault? You’re the one that got yourself into this. You should’ve stopped when you had the chance. You should’ve told her the truth, Jaehyun.”

“Fuck you..I should’ve said no, you always wanted me more than I wanted you and now look at me. I’m alone, I’ve lost the one woman I love.”

Reina scoffs. “No, fuck you for coming to me when you have no one else!” She says and storms off into her room. “You’re an asshole and I should’ve never gotten involved with you! She hates you and I hate you too, Jaehyun!”

Jaehyun stands up and walks over to her room. He holds her shoulder and brings her to the wall. “What did you say?”

“I said I hate you.” Reina pouts and stares at his lips. She started to tear up at his words when she realized that she wouldn’t get him now that you two had broken up. He was still in love with you, she didn’t stand a chance.

A low chuckle escapes his chest and it makes Reina weak to see his smirk. He’s drunk and sweaty but she wants him so badly. His dark eyes narrow in on hers, making her feel small.

“That’s not very nice of you. I recall you wanting to be my girl, even stalking me in Bali.”

“Y-yes, I did that, but I was a fool to think you’d want me. Even now, I’m a fool..”

He grabs her chin in between his thumb and index finger. “No, you’re not. You just have to show me why I should be yours then, kitten.”

Jaehyun was too good at getting Reina where he wanted her. She had a weakness for him and he knew it. He knew what to say to make her fall for him every time.

She can’t resist him. She rubs her hand over his crotch before pulling the zipper down.

He takes her hand and flips her around so his chest is on her back and she lays flat against the wall. He flips her skirt up and teases her entrances with his tip.

“What do you want me to do?” Jaehyun whispers into her ear from behind.

“Fuck me, Jaehyun.”

He enters her swiftly, sliding into her easily as she moans.

They have sex without cameras, but it isn’t the first time they’ve gotten drunk and done something they’d both come to regret the next day.

She rides him as he lays on the bed and imagines that it’s you above him. He can hear your whimpers and see your dazzling skin. He can feel your dainty touch, it’s like you’re right there with him.

His vision is blurry, he tricks himself into believing that Reina is really you.

He flips her over and hugs her while still grinding into her body below him. “Baby, I love you, I love you so much.” He says to Reina, forgetting that she’s not you.

Reina, on the other hand, believes that he’s talking to her. She cums unexpectedly and smiles to herself thinking she finally has him, he’s going to be her boyfriend because he just said he loves her.

—————

[The Next Day]

Jaehyun wakes up to a buzz from his phone.

When he forces his sleepy eyes open he sees Reina in his arms. “Shit.” He says quietly and then carefully shimmies out of the bed. He struggles to remember what happened the night before, but based on his naked body, he knows he and Reina had sex and he deeply regrets it.

He looks at his phone, his eyes widening when he sees your name pop up.

You to Jaehyun: we need to talk.

You couldn’t stay away from him anymore, you missed him so much your heart hurt. You texted him because despite what everyone had told you, you had seen a different Jaehyun during these months. Something about him had to be genuine, and you wanted to stop crying at night. And your best friend knew you needed closure. She wanted to feel better so she supported your decision to talk with him.

Jaehyun quickly responds.

Jaehyun to You: yes, when and where

You hesitate to answer. Is this what you really wanted? Do you really think he could change?

You to Jaehyun: meet me downtown at 12 PM

Jaehyun puts his clothes on and calls for an Uber to take him back to the bar that his car is at.

As he’s about to leave, Reina surfaces with her blanket wrapped around her.

“Where are you going?” She rubs her eyes.

Jaehyun turns and replies with a wide smile, “She texted me back! I’m going to make things right!”

Reina frowns. “But..”

“I’ll text you later and let you know how things go!” He heads out the door. It slams shut behind him. Reina stands and fights tears, once again feeling neglected, disappointed and hurt. She had gotten her hopes up..again.

————

[Downtown, 12 PM]

You stepped on your toes as you anxiously waited for Jaehyun. Maybe he changed his mind, what if he didn’t show?

What if he didn’t care—

You see him, his hair a bit messy but he walks quickly towards you.

You gulp and feel your chest cave in at the sight of him, your love.

“Hey..” You say quietly.

“Y/n..” The way your name leaves his lips in a breathy, low tone makes your legs weak.

He stops before you, you look up at him and breathe deeply. You can do this, stay strong. Your best friend’s words echo in your head. You had to remain firm and not fall for him in the first twenty seconds like a fool.

“Can we walk?” He asks.

“Sure.” You shrug.

The two of you walk side by side in silence for a few minutes.

The day is bright and sunny, the wind feels good on your skin.

“Y/n…a few months ago, I met this girl named Reina. She was in the top 10% of creators on OnlyCams and she offered me a job. She said I could work with her and we’d split the profits evenly. It’s an easy job. I just have to…have sex with her on camera and that’s it. We were only supposed to meet once a week to create content, but then the subscribers wanted more. We knew we could make money so we met more often. I let it get out of hand.”

He takes a deep breath. “I-I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her..I should’ve just said no and gotten a regular job. I should’ve thought of you first, I thought it was okay because it was just physical not emotional, but it’s not okay and I’ve hurt you.”

You stop and turn to him. “No, it’s not okay, Jaehyun. I fucking hate you for this.”

Jaehyun swallows hard and looks away from you. “I’m tired of walking, can we get on the Ferris wheel?”

The city had a large Ferris wheel that rested at the center of downtown. It was an attraction that many people went on to complete their vacations.

“Only if you pay.” You roll your eyes, Jaehyun holds back a laugh.

The two of you get in your own pod and sit down. It’s the perfect day to enjoy this ride. It’s quiet and not too many people walk around, you can really enjoy nature and the view of the city from above. But unfortunately, your heart was still broken and you were still sad.

“You cheated on me several times. I gave you so many chances to be honest with me, but you turned it on me every single time! You made me feel like I was crazy not to trust you when things just weren’t adding up. And here I am, being a fool for you.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry for being an ass all those times. I know I could never make up for it, I want you to know that I love you and I’ll be okay with whatever you choose to do now that it’s over. But I hope you’ll choose me, I hope you’ll give me a second chance.”

“You know me, you know I would’ve been okay with it had you told me..It’s just a job, Jaehyun. Why didn’t you tell me?” You turn to him with tears in your eyes again.

“Because I thought you’d break up with me for even thinking about doing this with someone else. I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you.”

“Well, now I’ve broken up with you for lying AND cheating. You made me feel like I wasn’t enough, and Valentine’s Day was the icing on the cake. You spent it with someone else. Do you know how hard that was for me? Oh and in Bali, you lost it when I simply danced with someone that I thought was you yet you were fucking someone else daily? That’s twisted and crazy…” You scoffed. “And you expect me to trust you again?”

Jaehyun gives you pleading eyes. “I know…I’m a piece of shit, I can’t take it back, but I can be better, I promise. Losing you has taught me so much.”

“What else is a lie, Jaehyun? Are you really into painting or was that something you used on all your girls?”

“I swear to you I never lied about anything else, I love you, every moment we had was sincere. You weren’t a game to me. Please..believe me.”

He places his hand on top of yours. You glance down at it and pull your hand away.

You shake your head. “I don’t even want to be here with you right now. How long is this ride?”

“Um…thirty minutes..”

“THIRTY MINUTES? Are you serious, Jaehyun?!!”

He nods and scoots closer to you. “Don’t worry, it’ll go by fast as long as we talk. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Jaehyun…” You exhale and let a few tears fall. He quickly wiped them from your face as he stared at you. “Do you love her?”

His brows furrow. “No, of course not. She’s just my coworker and I plan on stopping if you come back to me, I’ll never do those things on camera again.”

“Does she love you?” You look outside to avoid his gaze.

“I-I don’t know and I don’t care, because you’re all that matters to me.” Jaehyun just wants to hear you say yes, he just wants to see you smile again.

You turn to him. “Jaehyun..I don’t know..I need time.”

“Okay, we have about twenty minutes left on this..” He sits back and looks out through the wide window.

The city is nice, peaceful. The buildings come together like legos but less pretty.

You start to think of all your moments together. Would you stay with him to experience more special moments together just to be hurt in the end?

You stare outside and think of everything as time passes by. You sit there in silence but it isn’t awkward, it’s comfortable, actually. You’re allowed to think.

When there’s only about ten minutes left and the ride starts to descend, Jaehyun gets on his knees and kneels below you.

“I love you..I always will..and I’ll give you however much time you need, even if that means waiting until the day I take my last breath.” A tear runs down his cheek as he looks up at you.

“Jae..” You exhale. “Get up, don’t be so dramatic..”

But he doesn’t move. You rub your hand along the side of his beautiful face and bite your lip.

“Fine. I’ll give you another chance, but if you hurt me…I never want to see you again.”

Jaehyun jumps up onto the bench beside you and takes your face in his hands.

He kisses you for a long time, placing his lips on your chin. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I’m so sorry, I’ll never hurt you again.”

You nod.

The two of you went over to your place and made love, you told each other how much you missed being together.

You felt like you could give Jaehyun a chance, it was a mistake and you truly hoped he learned.

————

[A Few Days Later]

Jaehyun receives a few missed calls from Reina. He hasn’t seen her since that night and he doesn’t want to.

“You should be upfront with her, don’t keep her waiting.” You told him as the two of you ate lunch together.

Jaehyun swallows a piece of his sandwich and nods. ��You’re right, it’s gonna be difficult to face her, but I have to.”

That night, Jaehyun takes you with him to Reina. You wait in the car as he goes to her apartment. She gives him a big hug after she opens the door, but Jaehyun pulls away quickly.

“Reina..listen..I’m done…I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be Valentine Boy.”

Reina’s mouth falls open.

“Y/n and I are together now so..it’s best if I stop this now..”

“Jaehyun..think about the money.” Reina pleads with knitted brows.

“It’s not worth it, I don’t want to lose her. I’m sure you can find someone else to take my spot or you can do it solo.” Jaehyun shrugs his shoulders. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

Reina’s eyes start to water. “But you said you loved me..”

Jaehyun sighs and turns his head. “Reina, please, I was drunk and thinking of her, you know that. You know that I’m always thinking about her.”

He turns to leave before Reina can say anything else.

He joins you in the car and lets out a loud exhale.

“How did it go?” You ask him.

“Well..She’s not too happy..But it doesn’t matter..She’ll be fine.”

That’s what Jaehyun thought, but he was wrong. Reina was furious and had another plan. She wasn’t going to let him go that easily. She was going to make him regret ever leaving her.

She threw her plate with her dinner on it to the floor and watched the glass scatter.

————

[One Week Later]

You and Jaehyun relax at the park. You hold hands while walking through it and share a triple scoop ice cream cone.

“You’re hogging all the chocolate..” he says before leaning closer to you and attempting to take the cone out of your hand.

“Ah! ah! if you want it, you have to get it from my lips.” You wink and rub some of the chocolate ice cream onto your lips.

“That works for me.” He lays a smooch onto them.

You giggle from the ticklish feeling of his tongue on your bottom lip.

You both sit down on a bench and watch dogs play at a dog park.

“This is nice.” He says before wrapping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you closer to him. His warmth almost outbeats the sun itself and he smells like fresh apples.

“It is..I love dogs..I wish I could have one here..”

“Do you miss Hazelnut?” Jaehyun asked.

You laughed out loudly and turned to him. “Her name is Peanut.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” His eyes crinkled as he laughed at his mistake.

“But yeah I miss her. You know I don’t get to see her much because my dad took her away when he left my mom. I hope she’s doing well.” You missed your 12-year old poodle dog from home. You thought of how helpful she’d be when you were stressed. You always rubbed her coat when you were at your desk, studying for a difficult exam in high school. She’d sit beside you and look up at you with wide eyes. It was as if she was silently telling you ‘you’ll be okay’.

Then, shortly after you entered your last year, your dad left your mom and decided to take her with him since your mom wouldn’t let him take you.

It was a weird split you thought, but it was what it was. Fortunately, you were old enough to be mature about everything, but the pain of watching your parents split after so many seemingly happy years of unity still hurt you.

“I’m sure she’s doing well, babe.” Jaehyun rubs his hand along your arm.

———-

[A Few Days Later]

You get on the bus that takes you to campus so you can attend your first class of the day. You notice that a few glances shoot your way, while you sit on the bus and look out the window.

Is there something on your face, you wonder.

You pull your phone to look at yourself and surely, there’s nothing on your face. Maybe you were just imagining things.

You finally get to campus and that’s when you notice that more people stare at you. Some look away but some give you a look of disgust that you’re confused by.

Your brows furrow. What was going on?

You look down at your phone when you feel it vibrate in your hand. It’s a text from your best friend.

Bella to You: don’t go to class

She then calls you before you can reply.

“Bella? What’s going-“

“Where are you?!” She yells over the phone.

“I just got off the bus. What’s going on?”

And that’s when you see it. Posters of you posted all over on trees and taped to buildings. Some were the small, some were big and hard to ignore.

Your mouth fell open. They were pictures of you that Jaehyun took. Adult pictures and nudes that you had sent him. The ones you sent him on Valentine’s Day and the ones from Bali. Some were of you hollowing your cheeks around Jaehyun while some were taken from behind you, wrists in handcuffs.

They’re obscene pictures and now everyone has seen them.

Only Jaehyun had access to these photos, how could he do this to you, how could he do something so mean? Your hands start to shake, you run off to the nearest bathroom to avoid any more gazes.

Once in the stall, you unlock your phone and go to call Jaehyun, but you see that you’ve got a new email from one of your professors and…the Dean.

Miss y/l/n,

We have noticed a series of adult rated photos have been placed across campus. These photos were also sent to our emails from your email address. Please see us at 2:30 PM today so we may discuss this. This kind of behavior will not be tolerated. It is not a joke and now housekeeping will have to remove every poster that has vandalized our beautiful campus.

You hold your head as you cry. This couldn’t be happening. They thought you had done this.

You had to call them and let them know that you were being harassed.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun was searching for the perfect puppy for you at the animal shelter.

All of the puppies were adorable, but none of them seemed to be the right fit for you..that was until he got to the end of the line and met the cutest Senior dog.

Her name was Dora and she was a small brown and white corgi with big ears.

“This is Dora, she’s 9 years old, but she’s a great companion, and loves to cuddle while you read to her.” The shelter worker told him.

Jaehyun chuckled at her name. “Dora…the explorer?”

“Yeah, she’s a senior dog so not many people are interested in caring for her. They’re afraid of how much work it’ll be..we can take a look at the other dogs if you’d like or we can-“

“I’ll take her.” Jaehyun smiles.

Dora gave him the widest smile and started to shake the little nub on her bum.

That’s when he knew that she was the one. He knew that Dora would make you so happy. So he adopted her and took her home.

He took her to the pet store and bought her food, treats, toys, two bowls and a bed.

It felt like the two of you were going to raise a child together and Jaehyun couldn’t stop smiling to himself. He was so happy to be with you. Everything felt right.

He waits for you at his place, but as he relaxes into his couch with Dora falling asleep on his chest, he gets a text message with a random link.

Without thinking, he clicks the link and it opens to an anonymous post on the OnlyCams website.

His eyes widen when he sees what it is. It’s a folder with pictures and a video of you.

The one he took of you.

“What the-“ He immediately closes the site and opens his iCloud. He didn’t upload the pictures so who did?

When he sees his log in history, he sees an address that he recognizes and confirms his suspicions.

He dials up Reina and sits up straight, placing Dora down to his side.

“Hello, Valentine Boy.”

“Reina! What did you do?!”

She chuckles over the line. “I did what I had to..”

Before he can get another word out, he feels his phone vibrate as he receives a call.

It’s you.

He hangs up on Reina and answers your call. “Y/n. It wasn’t me, I-“

“You were the only one that had those pictures Jaehyun! Do you think this is some kind of sick joke? Did I do something to you?!” You sob and yell over the phone.

“No, baby, believe me, I didn’t do this! It was Reina..I.”

“So this is why you took that video and those pictures of me, so you could embarrass me in front of the entire school. Well, good job, Jaehyun. Now I have to meet with the fucking Dean! I never want to see you again!” You hang up and slam your phone onto the sink.

“Damn it..” Jaehyun exhales and plops down onto the couch, unsure of what to do next.

————

Part 4 Preview

Reina places the final touches on your lipstick and looks into your eyes. “You look beautiful, y/n. I know it’s your first time, and I know you’re nervous, but it will be okay, just follow my lead.”

She smiles defiantly and tightens the pink collar around your neck.

PART 3.1 | PART 3.2 | PART 3.3 |