#i love him he is my precious murder meow meow

[ellelans]

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith)

[quitealotofsodapop]

Did Tripitaka ever experience the heat of a tiger? It sure was confusing for him. Humans do not have mating seasons (we look for love when we want but this is not the case with animals).

It must have been difficult for him, especially around Azure. Did Tripitaka come to consider Azure as a potential mate during a time of mating?

OK this is nsft territory so be warned!

Tripitaka is an interesting character to analyze since he's supposed to represent The Ideal™ buddhist monk for his adhereance to the rules... but he's never known anything else really. He was raised in a monastery, and very soon after becoming a priest (and solving his dad's murder + losing his mom), got sent on the mission for the scriptures. Would he be as dilligently a buddhist if his parents had not undergone such tragedies?

Tripitaka never approaches sexuality in Jttw (his own or others) because in Buddhist belief; sexuality is considered a "worldly attraction" like vanity or pride. Same reason the book never has him eat meat, whether for survival or unintentional (like in the Spider Sisters arc). It blemishes his perfect record.

But since the Tiger Monk au has Tripitaka in a situation where he honestly can't uphold the very human standards of buddhism...

Our boy fighting some biological demons rn.

My idea of Tripitaka is that he's mostly on the aro-ace spectrum, but seriously questions his sexuality over the course of the Journey. Seeing hot demons and celestials of many genders does that to a sheltered religious guy.

Combine that with a tiger's seasonal heat, and you got a monk frothing at the mouth, trying to keep himself from acting reckless.

Tigers go into seasonal "heat" every 3-9 weeks depending on the individual. Anyone whos met an unfixed cat or heard a cougar sounding like someone being murdered will know that these mfs make sure that you know about it. Tigers in particular have a deep "Meow" sound they broadcast to find mates. They even have "first dates" to get to know each other. Example.

Tripitaka feels weird one day and subconsciously makes a deep meow sound - scaring the whole gang. Wukong is immediately is putting a bicycle lock on that cassock!

I feel even when pushed to the brink of his urges, Tripitaka wouldn't be comfortable "going all the way" unless its literally someone he wants to stay with for the rest of their near-immortal lives.

Also his disciples are off-limits; the mentor-disciple bond is too precious to him to risk over a selfish urge.

But, Azure Lion offers an opportunity. He's a fellow feline demon with a similar Buddhist background who understands Tripitaka's moral conflict weighing his desires over his faith. He isn't the monk's superior or inferior, so no issue of power imbalances.

Tripitaka needs a moment to think. And to draft a diagram of pros and cons.

If these two ever did do "The Deed" (or just 3rd base)...

Macaque would be the first to know. And he'd be howling with laughter. XD At least until Azure threatens to tell the others why Macaque was in Wukong's room that very same night. Mutual glaring ensues.

And ofc Azure would be seconds away from being skinned alive by a quartet of the tiger's super-protective pilgrim brothers the very second of the them sniffs Tripitaka the next morning.

Peng would still brag in Azure's place as you can imagine - lion done pulled a baddie on insane difficulty. Yellow Tusk would shake his head in disapproval, but would also be a little impressed.

[bucknastysbabe]

Kink Bingo - Praise Kink

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1, 765

Tags: Dead dove, WHUMP?, Hydra Trash Party, Mentioned rape, Dub-con, confused WS murder meow meow, hydra!handler!reader, praise kink, touch starved Buck, hand jobs, He’s Just Super Sensitive Blame The Serum, crying what’s new, she loves him in the worst way possible

A/N: I haven’t really written something dark like this in awhile so WARNING! The one Russian translation is thanks commander. Poor Bucky but he gets petted and praised by an insane Soviet for a little bit. Subtle Steeb reference at the end. Listened to gimme danger the entire time.

You leaned back in the stiff leather chair, waiting for your delivery. Strike team was bringing the asset to your office at some point. Your mouth pinched at the thought— they played too rough with the poor thing. Soldat was the fist of Hydra, not a common whore. You didn’t like the Americans very much, but Karpov had sent you along with the asset to get adjusted to being under Alexander Pierce’s control.

So you handled your precious boy until the Americans grew tired of you. They’d already beaten the little life the asset had left into a pulp. He was even more quiet and confused than in Siberia. You’d give him some peace before being discarded, hopefully by the greatest creation of Hydra.

The door opened, the young agent Rumlow shoving the asset inside with an irritated noise. You raised a brow at Soldat’s state— bloodied and bruised moreso than the average mission. Rumlow barked, “He didn’t listen, stupid fuck needs to get wiped again. Got punished, so stop looking at me like that Komandir.”

“Fuck off,” you hissed.

Rumlow slammed the door with a scoff. Your precious soldat stumbled forward dazedly. He knew the drill even between countless wipes, come report to the handler after a mission. Soldat limped forward and kneeled between your legs, wide blues looking up blankly. His nose was bruised, one of his eyes bloodshot and blackened.

You frowned and carded a gentle hand through his thick brown locks, sighing softly. His jaw twitched, throat bobbed. You stated, “Status report.”

His robotic reply came quickly, “Fractured left orbital, nasal fracture, broken anterior ribs nine and ten. Palatal Petechiae, anal fissure.”

You almost hissed at the last part. The strike team was a bunch of mongrel deviants, using the asset to sate their primal urges. With a coo you placed both hands on his cheeks, carefully thumbing over his black eye.

“Baby, poor baby,” you simpered. His wide eyes searched your face, glassing over with tears. You lied, “Those strike team boys are dogs. You’re just so pretty they can’t help themselves.” Soldat whined sadly through his swollen nose, guilty gaze flicking to the ground.

“I didn’t listen- I- I need maintenance,” he said.

He thought he deserved it. He probably didn’t, they just searched for ways to inflict torture. Nasty American pigs. You would make soldat feel better in the meantime. He loved praise and petting, baby was so touch starved. Vasily had taught you that about the asset. Said it makes him more obedient in close quarters because he gets so overstimulated and needy.

“Soldier,” you sweetly said, “You’ll get your maintenance soon. Let your handler take care of her precious star.”

You moved your hands to gently scratch at his scalp, frowning at the pieces that were obviously ripped out using force. You murmured, “How did they use you?” Soldat had to open his hazy eyes, almost purring at your ministrations.

“They used my anus and throat. Multiple members of Strike team Alpha,” he rasped oh-so-quiet. You bit back another hiss, focusing on untangling his dark locks.

You liked the way his English sounded. Your accent was thick and guttural. The asset’s English was soft-spoken, lilting, pretty. You knew it was his native tongue long ago. Pierce told you to stop speaking Russian with Soldat, who currently leaned into your touch, quivering muscles settling down. His injuries would be slowly knitting up— the bruises would be a couple of days, the broken bones a couple more.

Soldat was perfect like that. You ordered, “Just relax precious, if you can.” He nodded obediently, stable hands clasped behind. You worked on the multiple buckles and zips caging in his finely tuned body. Soldat’s titanium arm clicked and clacked in the quiet room, the only noise besides the hum of the A/C.

You peeled off the tight leather from his torso, sucking in a breath at the bruising. You sighed again, “My poor baby, they did a number hm?” He nodded slowly, lips trembling. You rubbed at the knots in his thick shoulders, the asset moaning softly. He never got very loud, but the cries and sniffles when he came were divine.

“Such a pretty angel baby, I know you did great, you always do.”

He vaguely nodded, a half-assed jerk of his pretty jaw. The soldier whimpered, “C-commander please.” His swollen red lips still pouted and shook, sobs threatening to rip out of his sore throat. You purred, “Do you want a reward soldier? Sweet baby.”

“Mhm,” he croaked.

You eyed his peaked nipples and straining bulge in his cargo pants. He had a pretty cock, flushed and thick, just huge, like the rest of him. You unbuckled his belt easily, sliding the pants down strong thighs. They even quivered under your attentions. You couldn’t help the quirk of your lips at soldat gasping when his swollen cock slapped his toned stomach.

You pressed soft kisses to his neck and jaw, wandering hands paying mind to the broken parts of his body. Awkwardly you ushered the naked asset up, leading him forward to sit on your desk. His thighs tantalizingly spread out when he sat down with a wince. You apologized, “So sorry sweet boy, I’ll make it better then you’ll get some rest.”

“спасибо командир,” he murmured.

You chided, lips ghosting over his own, “No Russian, remember baby? I know the Americans are confusing.”

His lips puckered eagerly, waiting for a kiss. You closed the distance, winding a hand into his long locks. You rubbed soothing circles while sharing his lips in slowed smacks. The asset liked everything slow, you figured it kept him relaxed. Nothing like the jackhammering cocks of the disgusting strike team.

He whined happily into your mouth, arching into your body. You smiled, sweet thing wanted his tits touched but wouldn’t dare to ask. So you did it for him, “You want me to play with your tits baby? My needy star.” He nodded frantically, chasing your lips to crash back against his.

You slid the hand from his hair and hip to rub wide circles on his built pecs.

Then you ran your thumbs in tight motions on his dusky nubs, so fucking gentle like your super-soldier pet would break. You knew he would if he could. The asset shivered, a thin whine of ‘commandeeerrr’ elicited instead. You clenched your thighs to dull the ache. You never fucked the asset. Just played with him until he got his sweet release.

You weren’t like the thugs here taking and taking. Soldat needed you like the oxygen in the air. He needed some sort of twisted love in his lonely life. You sucked on his tongue to abate the pang in your chest from the thought of abandoning your sweet boy.

Soldat’s arm shifted and whined in random intervals— signals just as overwhelmed as the rest of him. You kept up the assault on his nipples, the poor thing’s drool making your kiss grow sloppier and wetter. He mewled into the lazy movements, hands trembling. You murmured, “You can touch baby boy.”

You almost squeaked at the feeling of his big hands groping your ass. He tried to be gentle but soldat rarely knew his own strength. You’d cherish the usual mottling of your skin afterward. He brokenly panted, “Commander, feels…s’good. Thank you.” His dark lashes fluttered when you pinched his now swollen peaks, full lips hanging wide open in ecstasy.

“No need to thank me precious, I know my perfect boy needs it. Do you want me to play with your pretty cock?”

He let out a mournful noise— huge arms pulling you even closer. Soldat would probably latch onto you like a puppy if he didn’t have orders. He pled, “Will you, pl-please please.” The asset flushed and winced, expecting a slap for asking questions. You pressed your lips to his slick mouth and hummed, “I’ve got you, my star has such manners.”

You pulled back, his brows furrowing in distress at the absence of your mouth. You let your collected drool drip into your palm and wrapped it around engorged flesh. He cried out and bit down to stop the noise.

“Don’t hide your sweet sounds from me, I want to hear my precious boy.”

A choppy exhale of breath was your answer. He squirmed and sniffled as you methodically fucked your fist on his cock. Slow, slow, a rough twist on the head and your prize was trembling like a virgin. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, puffing hot breath on the thin cloth of your top. The asset babbled random words in different languages interspersed with the most breathtaking little sobs.

You slid your thumb around the extra sensitive frenulum, the sweet thing sniffling and wetting your shoulder with tears. He tried to speak, “K-Ko- hah, haaah, mmh, fuck!” Your other hand— once tight in his perfect hair slid down to cup his overfull sac. You squeezed at the heated flesh. Soldat muffled his wail, hands scrabbling at your body.

His back was painfully arched, you ordering him to relax some. He did with a pitiful mewl, soaking more tears into your turtleneck. You grinned at the tell-tale little sobs. He’d get so pitchy you felt bad for your simple little weapon, his throat probably hurt even more from the high sounds. You husked in his ear, “That’s it my good boy, singing so pretty for your commander, you needed it baby.”

He was rutting into your fist with abandon, the left arm going off with buzzing signals. You dug your thumb into his weeping slit, guided a gentle finger holding his balls to that loose skin behind. You pressed up and gasped when Soldat almost crushed you with his arms, shaking and coming apart at the seams. The asset couldn’t catch his breath, aborted tiny cries leaving his swollen throat.

He wept openly now— flushed member shooting rope after rope of white cum. He stained your already ruined top and flooded your fist. You pumped Soldat through the climax until he mewled and shied away. He seized your lips again passionately, pouring singleminded need into the action. You kissed the perfect asset back, pressing your tits against his broad chest. You wanted to steal him away in the moment, leave with the priceless thing and start anew somewhere.

But that wouldn’t happen. He’d realize you’re just as tainted as the rest of Hydra and probably kill you as his brain inevitably cleared up. So you’d enjoy your pliant, perfect toy for now. You mumbled against insistent lips, “Baby did so good, Commander loves you. Precious star.” He teared up again— not sure where he remembered another voice telling the asset that he was loved.

[bestdamnshot]

I keep thinking about Sebastian coming home covered in blood, bruised up, maybe with a more serious injury of some kind. & Jim takes care of him & makes him feel loved and worthy of that love, even if Jim tends to be cold or standoffish towards him in many ways ( specially his sense of humor) & mostly towards the beginning of their relationship. I just love the idea of Jim having an overwhelming sense of protectiveness & care towards him whenever he is hurt, & mostly because Sebastian was the first one to initiate the absolute softness & tenderness towards Jim when he would get hurt at the beginning of their relationship (if ever) On the outside Seb is rough around the edges, covered in scars, tattoos (probably/ most likely?? At least has to have a few right?) has a stubble & general resting bitch face (unless he knows you or likes you enough to not scared the absolute shit out of you, by his sheer killer presence.) is Fit as FUCK, can literally kill you with one hand if he so wishes. My point being, that Seb & Jim are the absolutely, warmest, most loving, dotting, caring people in the whole planet, but only for each other. & if either one of them sensed that the other needed them to burn the entire world just to keep each other warm. They absolutely would without hesitation & I think this dynamic is mostly agreed upon among the Mormor fandom to a degree. & we can all agree Jim & Seb are just precious little murderous meow meows. 😂

[darlingpwease]

It would be funny if the system did allow reader to become Shang Qinghua disciple and make him a father figure to them as a little treat for being the author.

Shang Qinghua would be a father who will spoil reader. Bonus points reader knows some memes because Shang Qinghua taught them.

Reader probably doesn’t take him seriously at times but is protective of him.

Reader: He may be an idiot but he’s my idiot.

Shen Yuan is probably smacking his fan at Shang Qinghua for this (or perhaps he’s jealous because reader won’t be his disciple like he expected)

shang qinghua is my lil meow meow<33 deserves to be called daddy tbh he is the author after all /hj /affectionate

creator's favourite<3

reader: wow hehe silly guy who thinks he's my dad... I love it in shifus.

♡ unhealthy behaviour, pet names, mention of violence, adoptive family themes, parent/child dynamic (and some pinning from shen yuan but you can treat it as you want); drabble + headcanons

But more seriously, SHANG QINGHUA actually looks like someone who will be a good father to his cute little darling sweetest summer baby boo that he sometimes just wants to put in a box and shake or put in the palm of his hand and watch with wet eyes, trembling.

He was doing research... And it's normal for men to get carried away with cute things... And gosh — who can say that you are his favorite character and no one can be your fan even more than he is?

(one may try to compete, but he prefers to ignore the existence of Cucumber Bro, although he admits that in some things he has a taste, especially with this cute art, similar to how he represented you, as his pfp.)

(he also puts your art on his pfp, because no one else can be your big fan.)

It's not that you are described in any way at all or look especially against the background of other characters — apart from the fact that he may be too self-indulgent when he describes you as candy for eyes whenever you appear, as if you are a character from a much better story, but what can he do??? — and your backstory may look like one of those that he created for a long time and thoughtfully, as if connecting the pieces of a puzzle, putting his mind, heart and hours into you that he could have spent sleeping instead, but!

He doesn't regret it.

Even in the morning, when he slept for only two or three hours, he does not regret that for just a few hours he said to himself, "it's okay, it's okay, just a couple more words and that's it..."

Every author should have two favorite characters in the story — one whom he wants to associate with himself (or next to whom he wants to associate) and one whom he wants to wrap in a blanket, put on his chest, kiss on the forehead and saying that they are gorgeous and beautiful. After all, for the audience, he has a beautiful cold cultivator and a fateful passionate demoness, so he can have his beautiful cold demon and his charming bright cultivator, right?

Perhaps you are not part of Binghe's harem (not his cutie!!! too precious!!! his baby can't be part of something like that!!!) and such a detailed study, which is hidden behind your description, does not make much sense, but it makes him happy, especially when he can introduce you to the narrative, briefly describe or invent what you can say. His cute little meow meow, who is Luo Binghe's senior fellow disciple under Shen Qingqiu's care (no you don't need that character development where you experience bullying!!! he has the right to be delusional in his works!!!), and tries to do something to the best of your ability, even if there is little you can really help...

... You die in a battle against demons. Although in his drafts a plan of how you actually survived, it was also not very pleasant for him to write this scene, even if it was pleasant to describe an emotionally strong reaction, — and subsequent plans for revenge and murder also had some therapeutic effect, — but no, brother Cucumber, he does not feel any pleasant feelings at all from having killed his pet! And he is not at all happy that he killed the only worthy character!!

And your death was not at all predictable because of how pure and catchy you were!!!

"... Maybe a little delusional after all," SHANG QINGHUA thinks when looks at you. Small, with a straight back and an indefinite peak, although he knows that you will become a member of another peak, and this realization for the first time causes him damage to such an extent that he wants to cough up blood. He just wants to get on knees, hug you and shake, but instead can only watch — and when the System says that he can get you as his disciple, since he has already become the head of the peak?

Yes, your participation in the plot is important, but not to this exte–

Not a word more — he doesn't hesitate for a second!

SHANG QINGHUA treats you like a mother hen with an egg, wanting to just constantly take you in arms and kiss cheeks like a proud father, and for sure he has... moments where you allow yourself some tenderness because of which he falls to the ground, covering face, as if you killed him with charm, while you look down on him — at first frowning and worried, then you just pull him up yourself.

At some point, you even begin to like it; one day you even allow yourself to call him 'father' — but when he almost has a deviation of qi from what you call him, you never do it again, even if now he definitely desperately wants to hear it again. But — no way; how will you explain to the head of Qian Cao Peak why your father shifu looks like this? It would be extremely embarrassing, especially if you still had to drag him.

No.

Never.

(you still unwittingly unconsciously call him that several times, though — and each time SHANG QINGHUA understands that if he dies right now, he will die happy.)

Your backstory is definitely the story of an orphan or an abandoned child, even if it has some noble origin, and it's hard to deny that being immediately in the adoring and pampering presence of the head of An Ding Peak, who deals with all economic affairs and supplies in the sect, being literally the peak of logistics, is a little overwhelming... at first. Someone may view An Ding Peak as useless or meaningless, but when all the supply, procurement, economic transactions are circulating around one peak, and this is not something secret...

... can't your loveable father afford to pamper his beloved child?

You were such a sweet and smart disciple who always follows him (at his request, but you could also theoretically disobey him, so he should reward you anyway!), how can SHANG QINGHUA not try to make you smile and be spoiled?

He knows how bad life was for you, he described it all himself, so he only makes amends to you, even if you definitely do not know because of whom in some sense you had such a past, but only look at him as a parental figure who is always ready to help, protect and pamper you. SHANG QINGHUA always brings your favorite food (which you share! wow! this is definitely fate!), gives you the best, sometimes even unparalleled, clothes or things of the best quality — and never neglects you, as if your very presence activates in him all this incomprehensible desire to protect and adore you.

Does he spoil you too much?... Yes — but you forget one fact: he is also the proud father of one little sweet celestial whom he wrote especially for himself and now can shamelessly love them! Period!

Perhaps the only thing SHANG QINGHUA violently opposes is your fights with anyone, even if you are a head disciple and a member of a sect that, in addition to the economy, is often forced to deal with the dirtier and borderline gray or obviously black things common in the world of cultivators, — but SHANG QINGHUA knows that the sect will be destroyed much earlier what will you become the head... so what's stopping the two of you from just living your life together? Somewhere in a house near the city or in a small but rich city, where you can spend your life in a carefree and moderate pace until old age next to him, needing nothing and never shedding tears... a small pond for you or a garden where you can grow whatever you want, or a place where you will raise small or not-so-small animals...

SHANG QINGHUA is not the most active or aggressive person, he does not seek to expand influence at all, as the original owner of the body did, but when he gently combs your hair, looking at your straight back, he understands that this is impossible if he wants you to survive. Yes, he described that you 'didn't die' and even put forward several ideas about what happened to you after, but now, looking at you, none of them suits him. Why should you suffer? Isn't what was in the original novel enough for you? Don't you deserve to live in comfort and safety?

He is your father — not in the biological sense, but in a much more important way, in both of his lives, and it is natural that your future falls on his shoulders, since he has made the past for you and takes care of you in the present. He would prefer a calm, trouble-free life with the flow, but when SHANG QINGHUA looks at you rejoicing at his gifts as if for the first time or trying to take part of his responsibilities and difficulties to help, how can he think only of himself?

Maybe that's why he's here — to make you happy and make sure you'll never be sad again. After all, SHANG QINGHUA gave you his soul, so it's natural that he could even overcome reality itself and time to be there — and if you think about it like that, then everything falls into place!

His ability to take you as his disciple and almost-child, his need to pamper you, his adoration...

“Shifu?...”

He loves you so much that his heart bursting.

“Shifu, why are you lying down again???”

Papa will protect you.

Shen Yuan really tries not to get angry, but when he sees SHANG QINGHUA shamelessly purring and spoiling you, clearly mocking him about the fact that you love him as your 'dad' shifu, the desire to hit becomes much stronger.

It's not fair, okay? After all, you were originally supposed to be his disciple; that's why he called you, wanting to see his beloved spousefu character — only to find out that you are not his disciple. Perhaps it was then that he realized that something was wrong — just as SHANG QINGHUA understood it, who later heard at a secret meeting that Shen Qingqiu, who woke up after a fever, asked about you for some reason, thinking that you were his disciple, and was amazed when he was confirmed several times that no, this is not so, you are a disciple of another peak.

A disciple of another peak? No, it's– no, it's possible, but unlikely. Since Luo Binghe is already studying at the peak, then at about this age he should already have had a connection with you, right? It's strange if the semblance of 'white moonlight' for the protagonist still did not exist at the peak, although your first meetings probably should have already happened. Isn't that about when that meeting should take place where you save him from mockery by appearing in time as a 'famous young phoenix under the guidance of Shen Qingqiu' and saying your cool speech?

Isn't that when you first demonstrate yourself as a domineering and self-aware beauty, but also able to be modest? Where your 'presence alone is enough for everyone to immediately disperse, let alone look or words'? Where were you still an unblemished white lotus that made Luo Binghe take an example from you, whose gait was 'as silent and graceful as leaves dancing in tandem with a wandering wind in a silent bamboo forest' and 'voice similar at the same time to the purring of a well-fed tiger inspecting their mountain in search of the next prey to playfully tear it apart' and 'like the first gentle snow showering everything around like a blanket, covering and forcing all living things to be silent and heed the serenity and greatness'?

These were some of his favorite scenes, excerpts from which he regularly reread and kept screenshots in the "favorite" in the phone gallery!

Where?!

"Someone remembers," SHANG QINGHUA thinks, rubbing his nose after sneezing — and smiles affectionately when you carefully throw a cape over him before returning to his business next to him, deliberately ignoring shifu's loving gaze. You really are a hardworking little thing, aren't you? Of course, what his child should be like; although not at all like your daddy, but you still take great care of him, even if you don't give him some expensive gifts and don't try to physically serve, unlike him. But he likes it — to take care of you, pamper you, try to accustom you to his culture and jokes, teach you some things that later become 'internal' and are not familiar to anyone else.

... Almost no one else is familiar with them.

“You yourself know they were supposed to be my disciple.”

“... The author has the right to make changes to the work.”

Shen Jiu– No, Cucumber Bro looks up at him because of the slight difference in height, and there is such obvious discontent and irritation in his eyes that SHANG QINGHUA is sure: if it were real, acid would dissolve him right now so that the earth would open up and swallow what would remain of his body.

“Don't you think that such an intervention will have consequences?”

What are the consequences? That you can't pamper them now and take advantage of their care like I do?

“Are you jealous that they call me 'baba' and not you?”

Shen Yuan still hits him with a fan from the heart, but does not answer anything — and SHANG QINGHUA does not dare to continue teasing or pressing button, even seeing how annoyed he is, not wanting to admit that yes, damn it, he is angry that his favorite character, the thought of which caused and causes euphoria, got not him, but SHANG QINGHUA.

“Stfu.”

You don't really call him ''baba' — but if you did, his heart would immediately stop and there would be a serious deviation of qi.

... Hmm...

He definitely found something with which he will pester you now — and the way Shen Qingqiu looks with jealous irritation, clutching a fan in his hand, only adds to the situation of fire.

Even if you don't have the slightest understanding of what's going on.

[enbyleighlines]

1, 5, and 7

Oooh, thank you for the ask!

#1: the character everyone gets wrong

I wouldn’t say EVERYBODY gets this character wrong, but…

Apologies in advance, but I’m going to revert to my Jiggy apologist roots and say Jin Guangyao from MDZS.

And okay. I get a large part of his character is intentionally left up to reader interpretation. At the same time, however, I think cql (and to a lesser extent, the donghua) have really skewed the fandom’s views on him. Both shows tend to place him into a more “cartoonishly evil” role, and often show him outright gloating when one of his plans comes to fruition.

In the novel, we never really get a peek behind Jin Guangyao’s mask. We don’t know to what extent he regrets his actions, or truly believes that he had no other choice.

Also, cql-only watchers tend to see his decision to hide Lan Xichen from the Wen as a decision either based on his feelings for the other man, or as an attempt to put himself back into Nie Mingjue’s good graces after betraying the Nie Sect. After all, in the show, he has already met both of his future sworn brothers. But in the original novel, Jin Guangyao was a complete stranger to both of them. He had no formal training in cultivation. He was little more than an ordinary civilian, albeit one that was more educated than most about the politics of the cultivation world. Hell, he was working at a bookshop at the time!

There’s a reason that Lan Xichen regards Jin Guangyao so highly, and why he is so resistant to believing anything bad about him.

Jin Guangyao risked everything, making himself an enemy of the strongest and most influential cultivation clan at the time, for a complete stranger. Perhaps he hoped his heroism would finally grant him some esteem in the cultivation world— but that was far from guaranteed. And if that was his only motivation, why not try to join the Wen Sect instead, especially when it seemed like they were the most likely to win the war?

Plus there was his whole thing about the watchtowers. He was building them for the good of the common people.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not one of those people who is trying to say that Jin Guangyao did nothing wrong (as much as I like to joke about him being my poor little meow meow.)

He committed many awful, inexcusable atrocities towards the end of his life. I’m not going to say he didn’t.

I’m just saying that he HAD the capacity to do good things. That working undercover during the war, forced to torture and murder his allies for the sake of maintaining his cover, and later, being rewarded for those actions, and other actions he took following his father’s orders… not to mention what working closely with resentful energy for all those years might have done to him…

Well, I just appreciate fics that explore what might have happened, had he made better choices. Because I think that’s the point of his character.

He could have been good.

He just chose not to be.

#5: worst discord server and why

I honestly don’t use discord that often, so I couldn’t tell you.

#7: what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

None of them. I’m not sure why, but fandom has never been able to make me hate a character I like. Some fanfics have gotten me to like characters I previously hated. But if the fandom tries to make me hate a character, or is wrong about a character, it just makes me love that character that much more, if only out of spite.

Again, thanks for the ask! Sorry for the novel-length dissertation on Jin Guangyao. I just love him, okay?

My precious little meow meow…

[best-fictional-cat]

Please vote for Shoe and Wagahai!!! 

-Shoe is based on a real cat!! One of the creators of Ace Attorney, Shu Takumi, named the cat after himself, and made him look very similar to his real life cat, as you can see by the side-by-side comparison!!!

-Shoe also helped solve a kidnapping case! He meowed while the kidnapper was on the phone, giving away their location to the protagonist, who had seen the cat earlier that day!!! -Shoe’s meow also helped the protagonist figure out who hired the assassin–this cat is truly a hero in every sense of the word!!! Just look at his precious little face!!! And here’s a bonus picture of the irl inspiration:

Anyways, remember how I said Shoe was based on a real life cat? Well guess what that cat’s name is? That’s right: Wagahai!! Just like the other kitty in this delightful duo!!! This is Wagahai:

(Picture taken immediately before Wagahai fucked around with the strings on Herlock Sholmes’ fiddle like a little gremlin)

Shoe is a hero, and Wagahai is too–their younger owner, Iris Wilson, made a cat flap creation device to make some for Wagahai. This device later helped solve ANOTHER murder. Here is a picture of the creation, just for fun:

Yeah me too Iris. 

Here’s another good picture of our little baby:

We all know that when cats sit on their little cat towers staring down at us, they are thinking “I am above all of you. You are nothing more than the dirt beneath my feet”. They are the princes and princesses, and we are their servants. Well guess what? Wagahai’s very NAME embodies this!!!

-The word “wagahai” is a Japanese first-person pronoun–we only have “I” in English, but Japanese has multiple versions of “I”, which each carry characteristics like masculinity, femininity, politeness, etc. 

-The pronoun “wagahai” is special because it carries with it an EXTREME sense of haughtiness and arrogance. Using it is just like being a cat staring down from that cat tower–it’s a way of saying “I’m above all of you”.

-Wagahai is the perfect name for a little kitty cat, so you simply must vote for this legend!!!

In conclusion:

Vote Shoe and Wagahai!! They are a perfect tag team, heroes and gremlins, and if there is anything better than one cat, it’s two cats!! Also if they lose I will cry real, genuine tears. These kitties have endured hardships too, and they deserve a win!! I love them very much, and I hope you do too!!!

Come on guys, I believe in you, you can beat that warrior cat! :) (poll link)

[guillermothegreat408]

one of my favorite things about this fandom (derogatory), is you can say “the marwa storyline wasn’t actually bad and actually was a fun little romp perfectly encapsulating nandors very essence as a character and all the things fundamentally wrong with him, as well as highlighting how him and Guillermo would actually make a very complimentary couple because they’re both really fucked up and selfish, but do in fact care very deeply for the people they’ve deemed worthy of their love, and actually what nandor did to marwa and to Guillermo wasn’t even close to the most fucked up thing he’s ever done, and to be fair Guillermo is also an objectively bad and evil person so who really cares right?” And then someone will scream at you “BUT MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW!!!” and you’ll be like it’s a tv show about demons from hell and their pet serial killer, none of this is real and even if it was who cares about their interpersonal drama when they’re all murdering people? And then they’ll be like “IT WAS RACIST” and you’ll be like they actually really thoughtfully integrated the traditions and customs of the leading cast into the storylines of this season and previous ones in a very beautiful and seamless way, and it’s not racist to have a side character introduced and then unceremoniously shipped off (even if that character is non-white), that’s just how sitcoms work sometimes. And then they’ll revert back to the poor little meow meow schtick, and then you’ll try to argue with them and go to their page and see they’re 13. Guys. You have homework to do. This sex show about violent murdering hellspawn is maybe a bit above your age demo. Go watch wizards of waverly place and calm down. I promise you, you won’t care about anti-marwa racism when your brain finishes developing. I love you, get well, don’t waste your precious and only existence on this barren earth on Fandom discourse you don’t even understand yet.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

if you're up for it out of the ones you know how would the other non-comics Edwards rank? (Unburied, HQ Show and whichever else you've seen?)

this is going to be considerably more hinged because I just straight up haven't seen a lot of the cartoons that Riddleboy has popped up on and generally have less feelings about them; the comics are where I really get crazy get stupid about him. but let's talk about a couple highlights! no ratings, they're all good little bastards.

John Glover (Batman: The Animated Series)

he's not my FAVORITE favorite but like. come on. he's a good little Riddler! he riddles like crazy! and I like BTAS rogues on principle, I love that they can definitely murder people but stay classy about it.

I usually prefer Riddlers who are driven to riddle by a desire to fuck (with) Batman, but I actually REALLY respect that this guy originally just wanted to murder his shitty former boss. that guy sucked and he did deserve to get disemboweled by a mechanical minotaur in an enormous labyrinth that Eddie apparently spent a year building on his own dime!

I'm also kind of indebted to his existence because Eddie in BTAS spinoff comics is just. my favorite little guy. him!

Dave Franco (Young Justice)

I'm gonna keep this quick because there isn't a lot to say: this Riddler kind of sucks but is also pretty much spot-on. like he's irritating but the whole narrative knows he's irritating; sweet baby Dick Grayson seems fucking exhausted the second he shows up and all the other villains at Belle Reve bully him like a bunch of cunty middle schoolers. I'm a simple man; I love when even the other villains want to kill this man on sight. his design also kind of sucks; like there are so many elements here that sort of work but just aren't that remarkable altogether? he looks like he does other bad guys' taxes.

having said all of that I do genuinely adore that in his first episode he's the only guy who manages to break out of Belle Reve during what was planned to be a mass breakout, especially given that the aforementioned bullying would strongly suggest nobody even told him that was going to happen. I love when he's the slippiest boy! escaping things is sort of a riddle; let him have that.

also, hey, I have to say this: it's just. so weird that he's Dave Franco. he's not bad in the role at all but. why.

Jim Rash (Harley Quinn: The Animated Series)

speaking of animated shows that know he's annoying and just roll with it!!

I like the Harley Quinn series quite a lot for a lot of reasons, mainly because it's not precious about the DC mythos and will frequently just do some buckwild shit with very established characters with absolutely zero hesitations. the Riddler is the opposite of that; this show knows exactly why and in what ways he's supposed to be an insufferable little freak and they go for it full throttle. don't love the bald + question mark tattoo look but he's gay so it balances out.

Hasan Minhaj (Batman Unburied)

yeah there's no normal way to explain this one, this version of the Riddler crawled deep inside one of my brain wrinkles and is still sitting there chirping like a cricket. I can't even explain why but if I think about him too long I begin frothing at the mouth. I think about him a profoundly abnormal amount and I feel great about it. he's only in four episodes and managed to rot a hole in my psyche in significantly less than that. I just think he's neat. he's awful. he's pathetic. he's my little meow meow. I don't want anyone to fix him. I'll cry if he gets worse. I want to see him implode. I've said it before and I'll say it again, whatever happens in season 2 of Unburied is going to make me truly unbearable as a human being.

[ragecndybars]

Top five poor little meow meows, any medium but limit it to one per series or you're just gonna talk about Akihiko five times

this ask is a landmine. and i'm about to step on it.

Anthy Himemiya. Hashtag Anthy Did Nothing Wrong. Everything she did is retroactively morally correct purely because it was her who did it. True, she has a bodycount of, at an absolute minimum, 100 students who burned to death + Mikage himself + Kanae, but have you considered: she is terminally in middle school. Using magic illusions and or hallucinations to drive Mikage to mass murder and eventual death? They hate to see a girlboss winning. That last episode and her whole, uh, thing with Utena? God forbid women do anything. The way she fucks with Nanami, too, simply because of the Recognition of the Self through the Other (derogatory). ALSO IS SHE MIKI AND KOZUE'S STEP MOTHER OR WAS THAT A METAPHOR. ANSWER ME IKUHARA. Not that it actually matters bc she was just having a category five girl moment. Get your princess witch dichotomy out of here she's my special little meow meow and she deserves to travel the world with Chuchu and Utena while Akio rots underground <3

Edelgard von Hresvelg. Sorry but nothing need be said here. Other ppl have said it all already. Black Eagles 4 Lyfe.

Chidori Yoshino. Yes, she was party to multiple murders. No, there was no real goal or justification beyond money. Yes, she was utterly indifferent to the blood on her hands. No, she never really changed her mind about that or ever came to understand why standing idly by and letting Takaya murder people who she helped track down was bad, nor did anyone ever really try to explain it to her. Yes, she kind of just said "whatever man" and went off to have her own character arc completely divorced from the murder. No, I do not care. She is my precious little angel she didn't deserve anything that happened to her she needs all the love and understanding in the world.

Clive Dove. MFW I'm traumatized and orphaned as a child and the man responsible not only faces no consequences but even becomes Prime Minister and so I build an entire fake future London underground beneath the real London and conspire with a man who created an actual real functional time machine to trick some people and kidnap the prime minister and smuggle him away and make a fake evil future version of the guy who comforted me after my parents died and then pose as the future version of his apprentice to get close to him and kidnap his daughter also at one point and really just let everything get out of hand up until the point I get caught and hop into an enormous mechanical fortress and pop out through the ground slash ceiling of my fake future london to start smashing the shit out of the real london all the while the woman who literally travelled through time is like damn i'm dying and now my bf and i cant even have a nice last date. Anyway Clive is peak and he should have faced zero consequences for this. But Bill Hawks needs to die ASAP.

Leonard Church. The misogynist of all time. He loved his wife who he constantly referred to as a horrid bitch so much. He loved his daughter who he neglected and emotionally abused by comparing her to the impossible standard of her dead mother soooo much. He loved himself so fucking little that he tortured himself to create an AI out of himself and then he tortured the AI to try to create a new version of his wife out of his own memories. The neglect and emotional abuse of his daughter is continuing in a big way throughout this tbh. Then he accidentally tortures his AI self too much to the point where AI him loses his memory and his fake-ass AI wife who despises him now for what he did has to kidnap him from himself and now he's just back to being a huge asshole who calls his wife a horrid bitch all the time. And then he can eventually develop a conscience and start to remember more and more (and cause irreversible trauma and brain damage to wash at one point in there oops) and then even though he still doesn't remember her, he can team up with his daughter to track down his original, human self to stop him from continuously committing war crimes and human rights violations in his efforts to resurrect his wife. and he can finally put his wife who he calls a bitch to rest. I'm not gonna say I love you... I'm gonna say... I forget you. I'm letting you go. And then he can die pathetically as a human while his better AI version sticks around with his daughter who he still doesn't really remember for a while until he eventually has to sacrifice himself as well. And ain't that just a bitch.

[fictionkinfessions]

Fans love to think I don't know how to raise my own kid and that I'm a bad parent and that they could've done better etc etc and then they can't even spell my son's name right. "Why did [me] ask [x] for help I wouldn't have done that" oh I dunno maybe because when my spouse was murdered he was the one who vowed to get justice and be there for myself and my kid while we were coping with the loss and fear. Maybe I couldn't do this alone. Did you ever think of that one. I'm sorry that [x] argued with your precious little baby boy meow meow or whatever in the past but when I needed him most he was there. We settled our own personal differences to grieve the one we both cared about. Holy shit. Cut us some slack.

x

[daylander1000]

I just want Rhaena to tell Aemond how attractive he's become. He seemed concerned about it when they met again.Maybe it's silly but I want my boy to feel desired.

Lol, she's going to be nicer to him, don't worry. After Dragonstone she's just in a bit of a Daemon fatigue state where she wants nothing to do with inflating any Targ male egos, but they'll be back to friends in like one more chapter. Of course, after the rough reunion, he's also going to be more concerned about it.

Personal revelation: My grandmum lost an eye and was pretty sensitive about it for a very long while. I've had ocd from childhood (I'm ND af), and after what happened, "Accidental Eye Trauma" has been in my top 5 "things I obsess about daily" list since forever (I don't even wear glasses anymore because I'm like, that's a Carrie situation waiting to happen). Like, I don't even want to think about Aemond's situation but I think about it constantly 😅 so while I'm writing this for Rhaena, he's also a precious meow meow to me. He will receive proper meow meow treatment.

I want to make a nice rhaemond moment out of it, but I also don't think it's something Rhaena or anyone can fix for him single-handedly overnight, so I'd like for him to mostly have a gradual self-acceptance arc but still be sensitive about it, leading up to the "Phantom of the Opera" level reveal he did to Luke at Storm's End, like "Look at what you did!" I'm not changing that. They're still going to have that quarrel.

So Rhaena's kinda on the fence about it. Not trying to convince him to be okay with it, not trying to downplay it, letting him feel however he does, angry, murderous etc, but by the end he's fully aware that Rhaena's into him regardless of his insecurities.

lol, mild spoiler but she's basically taking him on tour with her like

So he's prob gonna be like the young Gerard Butler Phantom, 90% arrogant bitch and 10% "If you see behind the mask, it will destroy everything."

Edited to add: not silly at all. Imo, a romance should work both ways. Both partners making the other one feel loved, desired, protected, appreciated...

[coffee-in-veins]

Dismas for the bingo? Also I keep seeing the 'fandom is wrong about them' the filled with no further explanation, if you fill it could you elaborate? Thanks!

ding-ding-ding we have double bingo!

who is surprised? certainly not me

as for the "everyone else is wrong about them" elaboration...

my problem mostly lies with how fandom loves to absolve characters of their shittiness - and now canon does too.

like if we look at DD1, canonically, Dismas is not a good man. maybe kind in his own right, maybe loyal, maybe friendly in his own way, i'm not denying any of it. but he did shit. he killed people. he robbed, mugged, most likely caused road accidents (considering how highway robberies were made). very few people write/draw/talk about him as a man who has serious problems, is probably an alcoholic, a tobacco addict, and considering times, proooooobaby on some dubious opioid/alcohol/only Light and Para knows (probably more Para than Light) what else mix which was considered medicine at the time - that is, if he can be bothered or can afford it. he has to be at least somewhat shady.

in my opinion, he has to scheme, lie his ass off, double cross people - it's what kept him alive for so long, after all. sure he can tell noble lies, but it doesn't mean he's any more honest. sure he knows his way around people, but look at his barks, he surely is a braggart. he sees his skills as superior (as anyone in Hamlet does, really, but that's beside the point). he is a conman, a shitbag, a cheater - and yet in most cases, I see him portrayed much like a cat: a bit bumbling, a bit of a jerk, sometimes moody but in the end, harmless. and this isn't what he is, imo. he's a thug. a thug who writes poetry in his free time, sure, but a thug nonetheless.

it's honestly my problem with DD2 mostly. characters there are washed-out toothless poor little meow meows. and it saddens me, since i see them as horrible people who try to make the most out of their current situation - it doesn't make them any less of the shitbags for it. like, i have no doubt that Dismas would suicide-rush a boss to save a friend (much like that Darius highwayman who met his end in encounter with Shambler) - but it doesn't mean he won't sacrifice a seeker he doesn't care for to assure his or his friend's survival or won't mug some sorry bloke in the town if he wouldn't have enough for a bottle. fandom, unfortunately, is usually pretty bad at seeing the moral greyness of characters and sticking to it. they either become the bastards or the infallible "precious babies". and since Dismas is widely popular, he bears the brunt of it.

we know he was in prison but it is barely explored (we don't talk about DD2's portrayal of him there in this blog, i need to be much more inebriated to talk about Buffmas). he is writing poems, but it's rarely referenced. he used to be a candlemaker, used to have a lover, maybe was in Vvulf's brigand, and knows marine terminology, so maybe he was on a ship or was sold as a galley slave from prison - there's so much going on in his backstory that seeing RH dumbing it down to "desperate meow meow who had literally no other viable options was tricked by a bad gang to assault a clown car" and even the "moral sin" which is pushed heavily as the reason he came to Hamlet in the first place was washed off him; in DD1, he shot the carriage deliberately: he heard a noise, and fresh out of a fight, his reflexes snapped into pulling the trigger. but the big emphasis of the scene in the comic was that it was after the fight was completely and utterly over. that was the tragedy - the same quick reflexes that let him live to his age, that he always, always starts the run with, screwed him over into murdering a defenceless woman and a child. however, in DD2, he's robbed even out of that, as they died, as Narrator puts it, "in erratic gunfire", cleansing him of deliberately pulling the trigger and having full responsibility of it when there was no need for it.

i can go on and on but... those are the biggest gripes.

[makethatelevenrings]

i have been playign arkham knight and irs a constant battle of god jason is so hot and god jason deserves love i need to give him love

he is my precious baby boy. he is my bastard son. he can be yuor angle or ur devil. he is a pathetic meow meow. he murdered a bunch of people and put their heads in a duffle bag. i love him. he's intolerable.

[a-lonely-dunedain]

obligatory corunir for bingo :D or tom bombadil for an actual tolkien character(tm)

WE HAVE A BINGO!!

I was waiting for someone to ask about him 😌my beloved my blorbo my friendo my guy!

hey remember that time that Corunir just straight up almost murdered that dude for talking shit about Golodir? that reaction was totally justified and I wholeheartedly support it, but it was very much still attempted murder, like that did happen and no one talks about it. the man is very protective, but that can sometimes make him just a *tad* unhinged and I love him for it. we don't talk about scary protective Corunir enough and I think it does him a disservice. like yes he's friend shaped and sweet and a worrywart and my precious little meow meow, but ALSO he could totally break someone in half if provoked! it's only happened once so far but still. more acknowledgment of scary Corunir please, he is a rare and underappreciated sight. anyway yes thank you for coming to my TED talk

Tom Bombadil didn't fit into most of these boxes (somehow feels very fitting for him), he has done no crimes, he's just chilling in the woods with his cool wife. unbothered, in his lane, thriving.

[rockingrobin69]

Affection

It wasn’t that the cat liked Draco better.

It wasn’t. Harry wasn’t jealous. He didn’t care about the stupid thing playing favourites, even if it was technically ‘their’ cat, that they got ‘together’. Mr. Ruffles can go fluff himself. It’s only how Draco always came home, and immediately lay on the carpet with that gentle expression, and said something like, “Oh, Ruff, sweetheart.” And buried his face in the fur until an angry hiss pushed him away. That, Harry couldn’t stand.

It wasn’t always sweetheart. Sometimes it was darling. Sometimes it was precious. Sometimes it was Silly Little Ball of Fluff, Master of the Feline World, Claw Footed Prince. But it was always something—and while Harry got a wave, a pat on the back if he’s ever so lucky, the cat got every other bloody thing. The sweet smiles. The gentle caresses. The long, longing looks. And Draco was Harry’s roommate, was Harry’s friend first, was Harry’s—erm. Anyway. Harry wasn’t jealous. But sometimes, he could strangle that damn tabby with his own damn hands.

(Hands which always sent out, unthinkingly seeking Draco. Hands that held on so tight to whatever shred he was afforded—hands that, if allowed, will never let go. Hands that now sat idly either side of him, watching Draco and the damn cat on the rug, shaking just a tiny bit.)

“Don’t worry,” Draco said, seemingly out of nowhere. “I have a charm for cat-hair removal.”

“Hmph,” Harry grunted.

“Because I know you don’t like it getting in your wash.”

“Hmph,” he repeated.

“And I know you always put a load on Wednesdays.”

A third grunt felt a bit much, so Harry just remained silent.

“And you always put my clothes in, too, although I never asked you to do that.”

If it was an accusation, the tone was all wrong; soft, warm, like a cat sitting in your lap, refusing to move. Harry swallowed loudly. 

“So… you don’t need to worry. I won’t get your fancy date jumper all fluffy again. I promise.”

“My—date jumper?” Harry forgot all about his plan of remaining silent till the end of time. “What the hell are you on about? I haven’t been on a date since—” you moved in, he didn’t add, because Draco didn’t need to know just how bad it actually was, and also, he wasn’t really paying attention, playing with the damn cat again. Harry wasn’t jealous. Not even a bit, not even if he hadn’t been able to so much as smile at another man in over a year.

“You and Fabio…?”

“My assistant? Hell, Draco, of course there’s nothing—it wouldn’t even be appropriate. Not to mention I don’t want him in the least. Hadn’t wanted anyone since…” shit, shit, he was digging himself into a hole here, and—Draco’s head came up, face scrunched up in question, shit. Mr. Ruffles meowed indignantly as he moved, sudden.

“Since?” Draco asked, crawling across the rug till he was almost touching Harry’s knee, and damn if it wasn’t stealing every molecule of air out the room. Harry’s cheeks were burning.

“You know since when.” He didn’t quite say the words, more spat them out, helpless. Draco blinked his endless lashes.

“Since Ruff?”

Harry’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. “Since—is this your idea of a joke? You have to know how I feel, right? You have to.”

Draco bit his lower lip, truly attempting to murder Harry, it would seem. “I didn’t think… wasn’t sure. You’re never looking at me. Always at him.”

“Him?”

“The cat. It’s always you and the cat, Harry. And I’m just your roommate.”

“You bloody lunatic,” Harry managed a laugh, pulling Draco to hover above his lap. “You absolute bloody lunatic. I only ever got the cat because you wanted him. I don’t care about—I mean, yeah, I love the damn thing, but it’s you I… hell, have I really been able to cover it up?”

“Not really,” Draco laughed, relieved and incredulous. “I just couldn’t bring myself to… oh. So you really have been jealous. But not of me.”

“Jealous? Me? Never.”

“Right. You’d never. Bloody idiot.” Draco sat down in his lap, warm and heavy and perfect. “You make everybody just as foolish as you, Potter. And to think I played coy. Unbelievable.”

“Will you fucking kiss me already, before I lose my mind?” Harry asked, already having lost it, way before this conversation. Draco laughed again, free and beautiful.

The only sounds in the living room—except for loud, enthusiastic moans from the sofa—were the indignant meows of a cat who felt, momentarily, forgotten. They’ll get to him later, though. They had all night. And then, who knows. Cat scratches, and stupid fights, and this. Everything Harry’s ever wanted.