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#i love how in the previous island they all lived quite far from each other and now they are camped on phils doorstep
tomfrogisblue · 8 months
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really love how baghera declared that she was going to live in Phil's house and cellbit's house is already built like 3.25 blocks away
they ain't leaving the nest, Philza
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one-idea · 8 months
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Nika reincarnated and the King of Hell.
I don’t know how many of you are Zelda fans but Luffy being the sun god Nika could go crazy hard with the Skyward Sword storyline.
For those of you who have not played Skyward sword no worries I’m changing enough of the plot it won’t matter to much
Let’s say there is the legend of Nika. A legend pass down of the sun god who came to earth to liberate slaves and return joy and freedom to the world.
Most of the texts has been lost but the oral tradition keeps the story alive. However it is not a totally accurate account.
They tell the story of Nika’s exploits on Earth. Including his help from other gods/angels/deities.
But the most famous tale is the story of Nika’s fight with the King of Hell. The fight to free the people of this world. Nika was able to seal away the King of Hell but was fatally wounded as a result of the fight.
However the true version this tale had been lost to time. The current version is missing quite a lot of detail. Including the fact that Nika, perhaps knowing he would be needed again or just wanting to be with his friends and loved ones once more, sacrificed his immortality so that his soul could reincarnate as a human.
Thousands of years later Luffy is born.
After Luffy unlocks Gear 5 he starts to get these weird visions or feelings. It starts out while he’s sleeping but he’s starting to get them while he’s awake. It’s starting to worry the crew. One minute he will be standing there talking to them and then the next his eyes are locked on the horizon, but they aren’t really seeing anything and he’s not responding to their calls.
It’s only for short periods of time, and Luffy tries to brush them off with the crew, but he’s really starting to freak out. Because he’s seeing things that he does not remember happening.
When they arrive on the next island Luffy gets separated from the others. Maybe a cult follower of Nika. Maybe an old friend, someone who already remembers their past life with Nika and is here to help Luffy as he unlocks his memories. (Maybe Shanks or Sabo, someone Luffy would willingly go with and trust them when they say his crew will be fine)
Meanwhile, while Luffy is going on a journey of self discovery, the crew is losing their minds
Specifically Zoro. He’s been having weird dreams since Enies Lobby when he unlocked his Asura form for the first time. They were few and far between but they always freaked him out because why was he fighting Luffy in those dreams?
It’s been getting worse since he gained Enma. Every night since picking up that sword he’s been having weird dreams. Something that used to happen once a month at most is now a nightly occurrence. And then when he unlocked the title King of Hell he started getting them in the day. And he’s starting to freak out. Because he’s starting to remember their previous lives. But nothing makes sense. There are some memories where Zoro?Asura? and Luffy?Nika? Seem to act like they do now, there are some memories where they seem closer (memories that make his cheeks burn) but there are also memories where they seem to be at each others throats and fighting to the death. But that seems to be only one memory, the one memory that won’t leave him alone.
And he’s been wondering for weeks if Luffy has been remembering to. If the pauses where he zones out are actually him being plaguing by visions to. But he’s to scared to ask, because what if the only memory Luffy has of past Zoro is them fighting? Or what if Luffy isn’t seeing visions and Zoro is just crazy?
And now Luffy has gone missing and they need to find him but they keep getting to him to late. Luffy’s moved on to the next temple, next location, and they are always just a step behind their captain.
(Note other crew members are remembering things from their past lives as well. I haven’t placed them all yet but they were definitely around with Nika in the past. Now what role they played is up for debate. A different god/ one of Nika’s angels/ or just a person who was loyal to Nika in the past, someone he liked enough to tie them to his soul when it reincarnated.)
Once they reunite Luffy and Nika have fully merged. The crew can tell he’s different. But they don’t have long to talk. Something is coming. Whatever happened in the past is about to come again and Nika has to hold it off until the crew is ready to fight. (Till they remember what he does) he goes to do this but swears to them that no matter what happens or what they remember he’s still their captain, he’s still their Luffy.
And the he’s gone again. Somewhere they can’t follow this time. Not until they remember. Not until their enemy is defeated.
As they go on their quest they all start to remember different parts of the story. Which could lead to one of them (probably Sanji) remembering the final fight between Asura and Nika. But he has no other context so it just lead to him and Zoro fighting because he thinks Zoro is their enemy or at least he used to work for him, because Asura dealt the fatal blow to Nika which started this reincarnation crap.
It isn’t until they put the whole story together that they find out Asura was possessed when he fought Nika. It was an unseeable betrayal because it wasn’t a betrayal. Once Asura delt the fatal blow to Nika he snapped out of it. He followed Nika’s decision to sacrifice his immortality in the hopes that they could be together again.
The main enemy is probably Imu. An ancient deity who Nika sealed the powers of long ago. Enough time has passed that the seal has weakened and that is way Luffy has to hold the seal while his crew gets their memories back.
I love Zelda and I think this could be a lot of fun taking elements of both skyward sword and Tears of the kingdom to make it work.
Obviously the whole crew had their roles in the past life. So did Ace, Sabo, Shanks and others
I kinda like the idea of Shanks being Luffy’s guide to his memories while his crew runs interference with the Strawhats. One of the great parts of Skyward swords story is your always a step behind Zelda and Impa never lets you forget that you were to slow to save her. That if Impa wasn’t there Zelda would be dead, and Link would have been to slow and weak to stop it. The idea of Shanks crew (and maybe Mihawk) taunting the Strawhats with the fact that they are to slow or weak to protect their captain has a lot of drama to it. Luffy’s safe, Shanks’ wouldn’t let anything happen to him, but the fact that they (the Strawhats) are to slow to help him over and over has to hurt.
This could also work really well with Sabo in this position. Sabo helping Luffy with his memories while Dragon taunts the crew.
I also love the idea that for centuries Asura was blamed for Nika’s death and Zoro and the crew learning about it with no context. Zoro would lose his mind at just the idea that he could ever be the one responsible for killing Luffy in a past life. Of course it’s not the full truth as they later find out but that moment would be awesome.
Let me know what you guys think. I want to talk about this more.
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zwy01 · 7 months
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Blood Moon AU!! Part 2 - Werewolves
Second part of my second major AU, Blood Moon AU. The nobles and werewolves basically have a race swap in an almost brand new setting.
For more info, check out my first post where I explained the general lore and setting of this AU (highly recommended for a better understanding because characters in this post reference characters in the one linked below here):
I didn’t do every character because there’s a lot of them, so I left out ones that don’t have major roles in the story. If they have a name in canon, then they all exist in this AU, just that I haven’t named/drawn them yet. Maybe in the future if I feel like it. But for now, this is pretty much it.
The characters.
Peach: Current Lord of the Werewolves. Adoptive father of twins Ruth and Rosemary. Peach isn’t his real name. No one knows what his real name is. He never mentions it, and he simply smiles and doesn’t answer when asked. Peach is just the nickname the werewolves came up for him at some point because his face is covered in small fuzzy hairs which gives him the appearance of a fresh peach. And no one can really recall how he became Lord. It just sort of happened. The werewolves all agreed that he’s good for the job, and the throne became his in the blink of an eye. Okay then, sigh, fiiiiine, he’ll do it. The werewolves seem quite happy about it. It’s almost like they all voted on him. And the previous Lord has had enough and decided it was time for him to retire and enjoy the rest of his days with his family, so he was more than enthusiastic to step down and hand things over to Peach. Peach was confused about being put into a leadership role out of the blue, but he adjusted very well and does a good job of caring for his people. Perhaps the werewolves realized that physical strength is not the only attribute of a good leader. Maybe this is what they call change, and that they have evolved from the old ways. Anyways, Peach does qualify for role of Lord since he is decent at fighting and an impressive warrior, but his greatest strengths lie in his communication skills and diplomatic nature when it comes to problem solving and negotiation.
Peach is responsible for communicating with Marcus and his fellow nobles of the secret noble organization regarding transportation and distribution of resources from Lukedonia to werewolf island. Peach is eternally grateful to Marcus and his allies for going as far as to betray their noble Lord and in the process risk their own lives to help the werewolves survive and thrive in these trying times. The werewolves do have their own means of production, but it’s not enough and they need some extra help. And Marcus and his nobles answered. Peach just can’t thank them enough. Peach is also good friends and pen pals with Marcus. They call each other “Peachy” and “Maduke” in their letters.
Peach puts his own needs behind those of his people. When Marcus’ supplies of food, money, and other essential items arrive, Peach always tells his people to pick everything they need and even bring home some extras. He waits for everyone to take their share, then he picks from whatever is left. This often results in him not eating enough, though his weight loss is also partially due to him subconsciously eating less than what he really needs. He does this out of love for his people, and he wants to save every extra bite for someone who might need it… even if there are enough resources to go around a few times thanks to Marcus. Peach just wants everyone to have a good life, and being their leader means putting his people above all else, including himself. The werewolves are aware of their Lord’s tendencies to unintentionally skip meals, and they figured out a way to solve that. They would tell him that they won’t eat unless he does too, and then Peach would eat because he doesn’t want his people to starve themselves. If it works, it works. Peach appreciates his people just as much as they appreciate him. They know it’s no easy job to be Lord, and they’re all there to support him. Peach has their full respect and this unanimous sentiment is more than rock solid. He is their only candidate for Lord and they will never challenge him for as long as he’s willing to sit on the throne. There probably are quite a few werewolf warriors who are stronger than him and could defeat him in a duel, but no one even thinks of challenging him despite the old rules stating how the strongest gets to rule them all. Peach is simply too precious. Quite unusual for a warlike supernatural race, maybe even too peaceful to be true, but it’s real. The werewolves are one big happy pack.
Peach has no biological children, though the number of werewolf women who are eyeing him and more than willing to have his children can probably form a line all the way up to Mother Moon in space. It makes sense, he’s literally the perfect man.
Peach has two adopted daughters, Ruth and Rosemary, whom he found by the werewolves’ equivalent of a dumpster. He felt sorry that their parents didn’t want them, and took them in and raised them as his own.
Ruth: Adopted daughter of Peach, and Rosemary’s twin. Ruth is rather sensitive and has a tendency to make decisions based on feelings and impulse, and needs to learn not to jump to conclusions. She is also prone to overthinking and still doubts Peach’s love for her to this day. Ruth thinks her father only adopted her out of pity and that he is only nice to her because it makes him feel good about himself, which are all false. This puts a strain on their relationship and Peach has a hard time bonding with Ruth, and Rosemary takes up most of the communication between these two. Ruth does genuinely love Peach as her father but she just needs plenty of reassurance. Other than that, she’s a pretty chill person despite being stoic at times. Technically, Ruth has a lot of privileges as the daughter of the Lord, but just like her father, she has an immense love for her people thus never actually uses the perks she’s entitled to. Like Peach, she waits for others to take what they need and scavenges for the leftovers, though Peach always stops her and asks her eat properly because she’s still growing. When Ruth refuses and insists on being like her father, Peach then orders her to eat and she has to listen to him. It’s the only time Peach ever orders Ruth to do anything and it’s a running joke in the family, to the former’s amusement and the latter’s annoyance.
Ruth is also a bit of an odd one out when compared to her fellow werewolves because she somehow finds fighting with a sword to be much more natural and swift as opposed to using her claws like werewolves are supposed to. It just feels way more intuitive, and she knows how to fight in that style. Too bad no one shares this feeling, and to this day Ruth remains the only person who can teach herself. Peach is looking into bringing proficient swordsmen into werewolf island so his daughter can have someone to bond and train with. His success is limited, and Ruth is stuck with self-learning. Maybe another day. People think it’s funny how the Lord’s daughter favors swinging around some sharp stick over Mother Moon’s gift of transformation and hand-to-hand combat. Well, she’s already kind of weird, so. Sticks over fists, y’all.
Ruth has a crush on Kenji.
Rosemary: Adopted daughter of Peach, and Ruth’s twin. While Ruth is skittish and distant, Rosemary is social and upbeat. Rosemary hopes that her sister will eventually see that her assumptions about their father’s feelings for her are only misunderstandings, but for now she’ll keep acting as the bridge between these two because Ruth isn’t exactly enthusiastic about sitting face to face and talking it out with pops Peach just yet. Rosemary just sighs. This is also why Rosemary is closer to their father because she has no problems with expressing herself and the communication between them is much better. Rosemary is the less independent twin and likes to stick around Peach for most of her day because she simply likes being around him, and the latter is quite flattered. She enjoys assisting Peach with his work and she’s one of the most hard-working volunteers who helps to transport and distribute the contents of Marcus’ packages to the citizens of werewolf island.
While Rosemary enjoys hand-to-hand combat, she also likes to study magic and draws magic circles in her free time. Being a werewolf magician is just so cool. Shooting powerful laser beams and setting up movement restriction spells? That’s a YES. Rosemary is a big fan of noble streamer Zivon Tradio, who goes by “GlitterDream KittyPaws” on the internet. Perhaps she can alter and adapt some of his spells for her own use. She also has a bunch of his merch, with a pink nail filer with his face on it as the latest addition to her collection. Peach is aware of Rosemary’s hobby and is supportive of her. It’d be fun if she can learn some tricks and give him a new hairdo in the snap of a finger! So fun.
Rosemary has a crush on Cloudy.
Ronan: Younger brother of Larke. A haughty and prideful werewolf with a certain hatred for nobles. Ronan insists that he despises all of them even though many of the foods he eats and the things he uses were generous gifts to them from Marcus, who is… a noble. His argument is that the noble Lord is incredibly selfish and malicious for monopolizing almost all the available resources in the world for Lukedonia and that Marcus is just doing what he’s supposed to do, to redistribute some of that back to the inhabitants of the world, which includes his pack. It does make some sense, but Ronan completely ignores the huge risks Marcus has taken by going against his Lord and he is somewhat ungrateful. His older brother Larke tries to correct him, to no avail.
Ronan is known for his speed, though Larke is even faster than him. He takes great pride in his brother’s achievements as well as his own. Ronan tries hard to impress Larke and loves him very much, though he doesn’t tell him that his deepest fear is that Larke will abandon him one day; a fear that will never come true but haunts him nonetheless.
Ronan also has a dislike for humans but he secretly loves spicy ramyeon and chocolate coated cookie sticks. It’s almost like a guilty pleasure to him, and he’d get all embarrassed when someone points out his double standards. Marcus occasionally sends human treats to werewolf island as well, and you can bet Ronan’s always rushing to check what’s new. He’s too prideful to admit it. Sigh.
Ronan has a crush on Sapphire and is borderline obsessed with her. He used to invade her personal space all the time but over time he has learned to not be an ass. He genuinely cares about her, and wants to win her heart one day. He’d gladly be Remi’s stepfather if both mother and son let him, but Remi doesn’t really like him. Rip. He tries to get Remi to like him, though.
Larke: Older brother of Ronan. Larke is famous for being the fastest of the werewolves. He and his brother Ronan’s late father was also known for his speed. Larke was able to push his own limits and at some point surpassed their father, which is a huge achievement. Larke might not talk much, but he cares a lot for his loved ones. Their father died when Ronan was a toddler and Larke raised him in his father’s stead. Ronan means everything to Larke and the latter would sacrifice anything for his younger brother. Larke is also completely dedicated to werewolf island and he believes that one day the most fulfilling way to die is to give up his life defending his home. For this reason, Larke trains day and night to become even stronger and always strives to overcome his limits. Larke is also wary of the nobles and more or less anticipates a surprise attack from Lukedonia given the nature of their Lord, though he doesn’t say it out loud like Ronan does. His gut feeling tells him that his father’s death had something to do with the nobles despite the lack of evidence.
Larke has a crush on Kameron.
Kenji: No one knows what his origins are. Kenji is one of the werewolves not native to werewolf island. Instead, he came from the outside and joined the clan here to escape his former clan. The clan he was born into was too aggressive and always at internal conflict, and that is not the lifestyle he wants. They were too bloodthirsty and merciless, and it wasn’t uncommon to wake up to a couple of dead bodies lying around soaked in fresh pools of blood. Those bodies would then be kicked around and ultimately dragged away and tossed into the ocean before the stench hit. The werewolves there treated this as normal occurrence. Just another day, no big deal. It’s too much for someone like Kenji. Kenji just wants peace and quiet, which is exactly what Peach’s clan can offer to him. He had heard rumors about Peach’s clan and ultimately left his old clan in search of a new home despite there being richer material resources in his homeland. It’s just not worth it to stay. And he is right. Peach’s clan is more much peaceful and conflicts only go as far as harmless personal drama. Peach listened to Kenji’s story and welcomed him to join their family, and Kenji’s been doing very well ever since. Sometimes Kenji accidentally hurts members of his new clan out of reflex simply because he had to stay on guard to defend himself at all times in his old clan, and that has taken a toll on his mind. His new family is very understanding of him, and tells him it’s okay, they’ll help him together. Kenji tears up every time they’re nice to him. Aww, he’s just a big ol’ teddy bear despite his scary appearance.
Long ago, in his homeland, Kenji had two daughters and a son but they all died from being caught up in the warriors’ internal conflict. Even his partner fell victim to one of the fights there, and Kenji wasn’t able to save them in time. To this day he refuses to get attached to anyone because he doesn’t want to experience loss anymore.
Linden: Son of an unnamed human father and werewolf mother. Linden is quite an oddity among his kind for being half-human. He’s definitely not the only one, but there’s not many of them. Growing up wasn’t easy because his heritage means that his body is a bit different from everyone else’s, and that his parents couldn’t fully grasp how to best raise their son because he is neither werewolf nor human, instead something in between. Linden’s father was one of the very few humans to reside in werewolf island as a permanent “member” of the pack. His parents had a happy, fulfilling life together and his father eventually died of old age and now it’s just Linden and his mother. Linden tries his hardest to adapt to a werewolf lifestyle but he doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of them. He looks like a pureblooded werewolf and acts and thinks like one, but the human blood in his veins would render him unable to keep up with the rest of his peers. His friends are extra careful with him because they’re afraid he might just fall apart if he accidentally trips himself or something. It’s okay, Linden’s tougher than he looks. He insists that they include him on their activities. He’s a bit slow and less strong, but he’ll catch up in a minute. Linden is a joy to be around so everyone likes him, even if he’s not quite at their level.
Linden has a special thing for tea. He likes to forage for leaves and puts them in boiling water to see how they taste. It’s so much fun! He’d take the leaves and dry them, age them, mix them with other ingredients etc. to create a variety of tastes. Though he has to be careful because some things that pureblooded werewolves have natural full immunity to are still dangerous to him. Once he almost went to the other side from drinking something he crafted without checking the contents carefully and his friends were barely able to pull him back from having one foot in the grave. Well, he had no one to check with, he thought he had full immunity just like everyone else! Now he knows. In the present day, the entire werewolf community is watching out for him. Oh my, thank you!
Linden has a crush on Ronan, and Rosemary, and Ruth, and many others. He ends up liking anyone who is nice to him.
Cloudy: Daughter of unnamed werewolves. She got her name from being born on a cloudy day. Cloudy is rather shy, and the only person whom she’s totally comfortable being around is her elderly father. He had Cloudy quite late, so he put all of his attention into her and she grew up rather sheltered. He did most of the talking for her, almost acting as her spokesperson. Cloudy would clutch onto her father’s robes and hide behind him when others approached and only grew out of it in adulthood. Sometimes, out of reflex, she still reaches her hand out expecting to grab onto a piece of cloth for comfort. Oops. She’s doing a great job though. Cloudy has her own group of good friends and they’re very caring with her. Rosemary, Kameron, and Linden are part of this group. Sapphire too if she decides to tag along. They like going to the beaches together and they’d sit on the sand and stargaze while listening to the waves and the gulls. Sometimes they’d also bury Linden until only his head is above the sand. And they’d all laugh together. Cloudy’s father was worried about her and what will happen after he dies because she’s so attached to him, but seeing his girl with her awesome friends has reassured him that she will be just fine after his soul returns to Mother Moon’s embrace.
Cloudy is one of the few if not only werewolf to not eat any meat. Like just no meat at all. This is a very strange thing for a werewolf to do, as the werewolves’ diet had been pretty much meat-only since the beginning of time, only to have evolved into more mixed one as of recently. Still, they’re mostly carnivores. Cloudy’s love of animals is very strong so she doesn’t eat any, as she can’t see them as food no matter how hard she tries. She’s fine with milk and eggs and such, just nothing harvested from an animal’s body. This diet would cause her to not be able to fully channel the strengths of a werewolf, but that’s fine to her since she was never really a fighter on the inside to begin with. Plus, she can just chill with Linden in the back. She can show him her colorful crystal collection and they’ll excitedly chat about where to find more.
Cloudy has a crush on Ruth.
Kameron: Son of unnamed werewolves. Kameron was the product of a short fling between his parents. His mother was a wandering traveler who stumbled upon werewolf island and that’s how she met his father. She left werewolf island and said her permanent goodbyes to her partner and then-toddler son to continue on with her travels, leaving her partner to raise Kameron on his own. Kameron and his father have a great relationship despite their differences in personality. Like his mother, Kameron is easygoing and cheerful. He has a talent for putting up smiles on people’s faces by being funny or making a fool of himself, or both. He always jokes about how Ruth and Rosemary are his long-lost sisters even though that’s clearly not the case. Peach thinks it’s hilarious.
Kameron has a fascination with noble culture. Sure, Lukedonia’s not the greatest place and its inhabitants are a mixed bag, but it’s still so interesting. He wants to know everything about them. What they do for fun, what their jobs are like, how the weather is over there, do they get to control their own weather, how does it feel to read minds, how does it feel to get your minds read, do you even have eating utensils and beds if you don’t need food or sleep, do you pee and poo, why is everyone’s eyes red, blah blah blah… the questions are endless and he is overflowing with excitement and curiosity. Kameron daydreams about picking up a random noble from the streets and just interviewing them all day long, asking questions to his satisfaction. It’s just so cool to be a noble. Kameron likes being a werewolf, of course, he’s just drawn by the unknown. Perhaps he’ll even marry a noble one day, haha. Just kidding, that’s impossible. It’s better to stay at home, he thinks. No way that’s happening.
Kameron has a crush on Larke, though the two of them don’t know that the feeling mutual. Kameron likes to tease Larke and Larke pretends to hate it even though he likes it and wants Kameron to talk to him more. There’s quite some unresolved tension between them and who knows where it’ll go.
Gregory: Father of Sapphire, and grandfather of Remi. Gregory was Peach’s father figure during the latter’s youth. He still is, and Peach relies on him for advice. Gregory is one of the few people whom Peach can truly relax around because he knows that he’ll be treated as a normal werewolf and not Lord of the werewolves, which is what everyone sees him as. Gregory knows that Peach gets tired from being put on a pedestal all the time, and as much as Peach enjoys being in a leadership position, too much is too much. When these two are alone, Peach would jokingly complain to Gregory about how sitting on the cold, hard throne all day just hurts his buttcheeks and even his superior werewolf healing can’t save him. They’d have a laugh about it and talk about family drama and stuff. Though not related by blood, these two are very much family by bond. Gregory’s nickname for blonde werewolf is Peachfuzz. In return, he gets called Grandpa Grumpy. Aww.
At some point the nickname Grandpa Grumpy spread across werewolf island and now most of the pack calls him that instead of his actual name, as an affectionate way of addressing him. He’s fine with it. They all love and respect him for his wisdom, and for that he is grateful.
Gregory does have a real family. He has a daughter named Sapphire who looks just like him. As a father, Gregory feels troubled because Sapphire is too polite and formal with him. He wishes that she can be more casual around him. While Gregory is aware that being reserved is part of Sapphire’s personality, he can’t help but wonder if she will ever let him into her life, even just a bit. What she’s doing, how she’s feeling, what she ate for lunch, what she wants for dinner, did she make new friends… she doesn’t seem to share much. He knows it is possible that she just doesn’t want him to worry, but she’s still his kid and he’s supposed to worry about her. Gregory always lets her know that he is there for her. In a way, Sapphire reminds him of his late partner, who was also distant and private. Other than that, Gregory and Sapphire are a loving family and they have their moments here and there.
Sapphire: Daughter of Gregory, and mother of Remi. Sapphire is quiet and mysterious. While she doesn’t reject being in a social setting, she prefers to sit on the sidelines and doesn’t initiate any sort of interaction unless she’s being interacted with. Rosemary, a good friend of hers, makes sure she’s included in activities. Sapphire would just blush and follow her friend group around. They know she’s not cold, she’s just a little quieter and that’s fine. Everything is normal and time passes by peacefully until one day, Sapphire’s belly starts to grow and she could no longer hide the baby she’s carrying. Gregory and all her friends are shocked. They thought they had her trust, but she never told anyone. They’re surprised because they’ve never seen Sapphire with another werewolf, and that she’s going to be a mother at such a young age. By human standards, she’d be a teen mom. Gregory tries to be gentle and very carefully asks his daughter who the father is, if she doesn’t mind sharing. Sapphire just closes her eyes and silently shakes her head, refusing to answer. It’s alright then, if she doesn’t want to say anything. They’ll help her the best they can.
Everything continues smoothly and the due date neared. This is when tragedy happens. For the first time ever, Sapphire is crying. There had been evidence of an abduction and several werewolves had disappeared. Sapphire’s partner was one of them. Traces pointed to Lukedonia, hinting that this was the deed of nobles, but there was nothing solid enough for them to hold against the nobles. In the end, they couldn’t save him. Or any of them. Sapphire was grief-stricken and refused to eat, almost killing herself and her unborn baby, until Gregory begged and begged for her to please take care of herself and that he cannot lose her. Unwilling to sadden her father, she starts to eat again and her body returns to normal.
Soon, Sapphire gives birth to a son and she names him Remi. Remi will never have a father, but she will try her best to raise him. Sapphire doesn’t really have any hobbies that stand out because she spends most of her time on Remi so she never really gets the chance to explore with her life.
Sapphire is too busy to like anyone. She does have a lot of admirers, many of whom are more than willing to take care of her and Remi as her partner and Remi’s stepfather. Ronan is one of them. Sapphire rejects all of them, but they just keep coming back. Remi shoos them away for her. Maybe one day Sapphire will find love again, but right now she is still mourning her partner who is currently permanently missing with no news of his fate whatsoever.
(Eventually she does find love and has her happily ever after. In the far future she has another child aka Remi’s half-sibling with a nice werewolf guy, when Remi is an adult)
Remi: Son of Sapphire, and grandson of Gregory. Remi is stubborn and tends to react emotionally to things. He thinks this is his fault and blames himself for being temperamental, but in reality he’s just his father’s son. Other than his looks, he doesn’t resemble his mother much. Remi is in a bit of a special situation. Sapphire is his mother, but they’re more like siblings. This is partially due to Sapphire having him at a young age, but mostly due to his grandfather Gregory suggesting that he grows up as his mother’s brother instead of her son. This is to take some stress off Sapphire’s shoulders so she won’t need to be anxious all the time. Originally, Sapphire could’ve raised Remi together with her partner, but that became impossible due to the abduction incident. Raising Remi alone is too much for a young Sapphire, so Gregory stepped up. He doesn’t mind raising his grandson as his son, and tells Sapphire that she can choose to go on and enjoy life as she wishes and leave Remi to him. Whatever she decides, he will be supportive. Sapphire is grateful for her father’s offer, but ultimately decides to be a very involved sister-ish mother in Remi’s life. And that’s that. Their family is a bit special with unconventional dynamics, but still loving nonetheless. Remi calls his mother by her name and his grandfather “Father”. Neither of them minds and they’re quite content with it. Sapphire’s friends also treat Remi as one of them and often ask her if her “brother” wants to tag along for hunting or fishing or something.
Remi’s primary goal in life is to gain power. He wants to grow up to become a strong and wise warrior like his grandfather, and he’s a bit impatient with it, despite being so young and still having lots of time in front of him. Gregory tells him not to worry. Other than that, Remi is rather dense and doesn’t know how to have fun. His friends have to drag him outside or else he’s just training all day.
Remi doesn’t like Ronan and finds him to be creepy. Remi once slapped Ronan across the face when the latter called him “my son”. He knows Ronan has a huge crush on his sister-mom but that’s just going too far. Just… ew. No thanks, bye bye. And stay away from her because she’s not interested!
Remi is too dense to like anyone. (For now)
Zen: Son of unnamed werewolves. Zen is respectful and composed, which are traits that become even more obvious when compared to his best friend Ulrich. Zen is an independent thinker. While he does appreciate Lord Peach and noble Marcus’ efforts to keep the werewolves afloat with extra resources, he believes that the werewolves should gradually wean themselves off the nobles’ help and become truly self-sufficient. It’s not beneficial to rely on outside help and who knows if one day the nobles will come and ask for the werewolves to return the favor since they’ve been “indebted” to them for so long. Zen doesn’t like the idea of his pack having something that can potentially be used against them. In reality, Marcus and his organization would never do such a thing, as they really are altruistic with their good deeds. Still, Zen has a hard time trusting them and he can’t bring himself to let his guard down. Zen has told Peach about his concerns, and the latter has reassured him that his worries will never come to be. Zen thinks otherwise. Peach appreciates Zen’s efforts to watch out for him and their big family, and jokes that he should take a “chill pill”. Zen is not amused.
In his free time, Zen just hangs out with Ulrich. He’s down to do whatever Ulrich is up for. He’s even willing to leave werewolf island and follow his best friend to the ends of the earth if that’s what he wants. That’s how much Ulrich means to him. Sometimes, Zen has dreams where he and Ulrich are in another strange universe where they are not werewolves; instead they are a supernatural race and the dream ends with both of them getting executed by a mysterious winged being. Maybe he’s just too tired, that’s why he’s making up all this crazy shit. But it’s too realistic to be a simple illusion. This gives Zen the chills.
When Ulrich is busy, Zen makes art with chains. He links them one by one. Your average werewolf would find that to be rather boring. Zen thinks it’s therapeutic.
Zen doesn’t have a crush on anyone, though he has a platonic love for Ulrich.
Ulrich: Son of an unnamed half-werewolf mother and werewolf father. Ulrich is mostly pretty tame though he can get fairly angry and jealous when he is upset, where he then tends to lash out at things and people nearby. Probably not the best judgement, because being three-quarters werewolf means that he’s weaker than most of whom he provokes and often ends up getting his regretful ass beaten. Probably deserved it. They didn’t start it, he did, so it’s always his fault. Ulrich would then sulk in the corner with a bloody nose and some bruises and complain to Zen about how the latter is late at comforting him. Zen would just sigh, shake his head, and come over and crouch down with Ulrich and tell him “better not do it next time” as he pats him on the shoulder. Ulrich never listens and he’s definitely doing it again. His one braincell simply never learns. And this cycle continues in an almost comedic manner. Zen is more than capable of defeating Ulrich in a spar at any given moment, but he lets his best friend boss him around without any objections. Ulrich doesn’t even know Zen is just super chill and nice. There’s not another soul in this world who will tolerate his less than favorable attitude and temper without some form of retaliation.
Ulrich is also a bit of a hypocrite. He can hang out others all he wants, but he gets upset when he sees Zen with someone else. He can have many friends, but Zen can only be his friend. His jealousy would cause him to lash out at his best friend at times, but he isn’t actually angry at him. Ulrich just never learned how to properly and calmly express his feelings. Fortunately, Zen accepts all of Ulrich’s flaws and they’re still best friends.
Ulrich has a weird hobby of pulling out his own fangs and fashioning them into necklaces and bracelets. It’s pretty hip, and hey it looks nice. Besides, he’s mostly a werewolf so they’ll grow back in. Ulrich makes Zen wear one of his “diy” necklaces and gets upset when the latter takes it off, so now he has to keep it on the whole time. Zen wouldn’t be surprised is Ulrich is making some pocket money with his unusual jewelry.
Ulrich doesn’t realize, but he too feels platonic love for his best friend. He probably can’t live without Zen.
Thank you for reading and stay tuned for future posts!
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hashimasims · 20 days
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The season is just about to change to Winter. The day before Harvestfest Kanaloa asks her to join him for a walk through Myshuno Meadows. The two of them walk in amicable silence just enjoying the scenery until they make it back to the entrance of the park and Kana pulls her under the remaining blossoms of the Cherry Tree. She does not like where this is going.
Kanaloa: Elucea, I . . . Elucea: No Kana, the answer is no. Kanaloa: But you don't even know what I was going to say Elucea: The romantic walk, the trying for a nice back drop with the remaining blossoms, this has proposal written all over it Kanaloa: Well it is an proposal of sorts. But you're still engaged to the other, Taehyung if I remember correctly, so no I was not about to propose marriage. Speaking of, have you heard from him yet? Elucea: No he still hasn't answered any of my messages or answered my calls. One time his phone answered, maybe it was in his pocket, and the only thing I could hear sounded like muffled screaming like he was watching a horror movie. Sounded like someone was trying to say something through a gag maybe and then the line went dead. He and I have watched a few scary movies together and it didn't sound like anything I'd ever watched with him before, not that it matters anyway.
Elucea retreats into herself for a moment, eyes glazed over wondering if something may have happened to Taehyung and those sounds were coming from him and she was meant to hear them. Taehyung had once told her he could feel her emotions through the bond, though muted because she hadn't accepted it fully yet. Would the Bond, no matter how tenuous, tell her if something horrible was happening to him at this moment? Would it tell her if he was dead? She accepted him and what they were together but hadn't fully accepted being tied to just one man, she had far too much love to give and wanted to feel the extra love and affection she was denied throughout her childhood. This she had surmised was part of the reason she was Poly, and also why she had accepted the advances of an adult as a teenager. Kana clearing his throat brought her back to the present. He knew where she went when she became distant, even if only for a moment, and tried not to pull her back before she was ready. But this was important so he felt he had to bring her back to this present moment and out of the pit of worry that so often tried to claim her.
Elucea: So . . . if you're not proposing marriage, what are you proposing? Kanaloa pulls out a small key trying to hand it to her Kanaloa: I would like for you to move in with me, into my apartment in Evergreen Harbor. Elucea: I'm sorry Kana I can't my fur babies Kanaloa: Zuma and Whisper might enjoy it out there. I can take them for a jog with me every morning, there's a new park we can take them to to make some furry friends, maybe you could quit your job and stay home for a while? I know you got the island is thriving notification so that means you're done fixing it right? I don't know how I feel being around cats but I'm sure I'd grow to love them. Elucea: I appreciate the offer Kana I do but forcing all of us into a tiny apartment might not be the best idea. Kelly and Frankie are constantly going at it but at least at home they have the whole island to get away from each other. Look, how about this, here's the spare key to my place. I'm not asking you to move in but for now you can come and go as you please and we can give living together a trial run this way. Kanaloa: Ok El I can compromise. Anything for you.
Beginning|Previous|Next
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zaidshair · 2 months
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ABOUT
[ KUKKUTARMA ]  [ INSPO]
BASICS: Name: Zaid Shair (Zah-eed Shayh-yeer) Age: 41years old. he's a cancer that's all I know so far Gender & Pronouns: Cis man - He/Him Place of birth: Sheffield, England PERSONAGE: Previous occupation: executive chef and owner of two fine-dining restaurants: - in London, Mango (successful) - in New York, Chutney (derisive) Powers: plasma blasts. Zaid passively absorbs cosmic energy, like a living storage cell. Energy must be released by force. Crystal bracelet: green malachite First impressions: Zaid can be intense, but soft-spoken and calm. He knows how to be friendly and personable. He can let his emotions get the best of him. He does have a Mr Hyde to his Dr Jekyll, but that only comes out in certain circumstances
PLOT IDEAS:
cooking baba: an obvious outcome for Zaid on the island. His passion for cooking is greatly diminished, but needs must for survival on a strange island, and everyone knows food boosts morale. Something to do with cuisine, be it connections pre-island, hunting/gathering, planning/rationing, food-sickness, cooking, etc!
fwb: Zaid is hurting, they're hurting too. good thing they're both attractive, because then pain becomes beautiful and sexy, right? power play: figuring out powers! working together or against each other! lots of room for experimentation here adventure time: I love adventure plots and there's ample grounds to explore and get in trouble together!
APPEARANCE: Height: 5'8" Eyes : brown Hair: black, worn short. Trimmed beard and moustache Build: compact Tattoos: tattoos on his arms, tbd
BACKGROUND: Nationality: Pakistani-British Family: Three grandparents, two parents, multiple younger siblings (tbd), loads of uncles, aunties, cousins, etc. A big family that he never quite got close to, except for that one unmarried quirky-dirky Jotie-Auntie.
BULLET POINTS:
- Zaid, eldest child in his family, first brought shame to the Shairs when he decided to eschew a degree in commerce, and went to cooking school instead - Coming out to his family was somehow less shameful than his career choice, because he still liked girls, mashallah! Zaid didn't mind the various arranged dates, but his ambition overshadowed finding a match. -He moved to Paris, then London in his early 20s to apprentice in restaurants, growing in rank and gaining respect as a dedicated, hard working line cook. He took an executive chef job at a boutique hotel in London in his late 20s - His first point of pride was opening his fine-dining restaurant Mango in 2015 in touristy Soho. Lauded in reviews for his insightful, delightful take on Pakistani cuisine, Mango became one of the trendiest eateries in London. - He refrained from the allure of 'celebrity chef' despite network and social media offers, aiming instead for that Michelin star status. He just wanted one, he was modest. - Gaining that one star should've been the biggest highlight of his life, but it was eclipsed when he met the real and only love of his life (so Zaid claims), Tej Virani. - In Zaid's mind, their romance was a firestarter, burning quick, bright, and hot. Zaid did everything to keep Tej living a comfortable life, and was proud of how he oh-so magnificently balanced work duties around Tej's whimsical needs. - After gaining his Michelin star, everything in Zaid's life seemed to bottleneck: the unexpected arrival of Tej's niece Inika, his PR agent's push for Zaid to move towards celebrity status (write that book! guest judge on Masterchef and Chopped! live-feed the cooking seminars at schools!), his own personal temptation to open a new restaurant in New York. - Zaid was convinced he could do it all. He packed up Tej and their little ward Inika and emigrated to New York. Surely he could pull this all together, with his usual efficiency and drive. - Surely, he could not. COVID happened. His relationship suffered, celebrity hopes were locked down; and with that, his new restaurant plans suffered. Chtuney eventually opened with a whimper rather than a bang, and the restaurant limped along for a year under poor leadership and red tape, as Zaid spiralled further into disarray in his personal life. Tej slipped out of his grasp and maybe it was for the better. Maybe not. - When he finally cracked from stress, he cracked hard. In a fit of spite, he stole Inika from Tej, headed to Montauk, and promised they'd never return. He and Inika would start a new life, back in London - no! In Sheffield! - and Tej would never see them again. - Tej's plaintive convincing made Zaid relinquish his mad plans, but by then it was too late. Zaid was so focused on Tej and their argument, he wasn't paying attention to the child. They lost Inika to the night waters of Montauk Beach. The child was gone, drowned, dead and Zaid was inconsolable and blamed Tej for all of it. - The funeral was for an empty casket, which was in many ways deeply symbolic for Zaid over the next few months of solitude and grief. - His New York restaurant in shambles, his relationship had long sailed. Zaid settled into trying to recoup his losses in New York. After which he intended to return to London with his tail between his legs. But instead, Zaid ended up on an entirely different island.
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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years
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The Island | KTH (Eight)
Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?
Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader
Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.
Word Count: 10.7k
Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) mentions of sex, someone gets punched by someone,
Notes: Enjoy this chapter guys:) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)
Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous --- Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The room you are in is as cold and empty as you feel. The one single table with 3 chairs, 2 on one side and the one you are currently occupying across from them. The room feels chilling like ghosts haunt it. Maybe they do, you think. The silence is truly deafening and the wait for these 2 other chairs to be filled makes you anxious. It’s been a few months since you have been back here and it makes you uncomfortable each time but you know little by little you are receiving answers.
Finally, after a long wait the heavy door to the room screeches open. And in comes a man and woman in professional clothing—he in a suit and the woman in a dress suit. They smile at you awkwardly like they feel pity. They both pull out their chair and take a seat.
“Have you found it yet? The island?” you’re quick to blurt out and they nervously look at one another before frowning.
“It isn’t that easy unfortunately Miss y/l/n. We’ve been in search of this company for over 50 years.” The woman taps her fingers on the table. “We have yet to find them or this island you speak of.”
You can’t help the scoff that escapes you as you roll your eyes to the side.
“What kind of intel agency is this? You can’t even find some lame ass fucking love company.” You spit out.
The man hardens his eyes at you as he takes a long, deep breath. Obviously trying to gather his patience.
“Here’s what we do know.” He begins. “They tapped your home, your cell, all of your accounts and spied on you for over a year. Doing their…” he pauses, biting his lip. “Research…”
“And drugged you and your parents the night of the kidnapping.” The woman picks up where he left off, “And then they drugged you again to return you home and also your parents…assuming so it wasn’t to wake them while they were in your home…” she gulps…she understands how invasive this all is.
“You didn’t think to set up cameras around my parent’s house? For when they would return me? You didn’t think to keep an eye—”
“We did.” The man clears his throat, “But they….” He drags his hand down his tired face, “This company is smart. They obviously know what they are doing. The night of your return the cameras we had set up miraculously stopped working.”
You can’t help the laughter that erupts from your body. You begin shaking your head in disbelief, your laughter dying when you realize how serious this is.
“This is fucking bullshit.” You say with a tight lip smile. “Anyway…do you…do you guys…did you look into what I asked of you?” your eyes slide to the side as you nervously pull at the ends of your hair.
“The man you were with? Kim Taehyung…yes, we looked into it. We have been working with Korea’s intel in hopes to solve this case. He has been working together with them. I cannot release any personal information though.” The woman eyes her partner and her frown deepens. “Miss y/l/n…I know this is difficult and you two have been through a lot together. But I am sure you can find a way to reach out—”
“I just wanted to know how he is doing is all.” You cut her off, “It’s fine.”
~~~~~
You stare at the letter in your hands, it’s an off white color and the font in quite fancy. Your parents let you see it a few weeks after you returned home but every night you take it in your hands and stare at it. Not knowing how to take it. The company sent it to them the day you disappeared…explaining the company’s goals. They sent photos of you and Taehyung every week to prove you were alive and well. Your parents said this is what kept them sane…trusting you were okay because they couldn’t—wouldn’t accept any other reality.
Your heart aches thinking of what your parents must have been through but not just them…your sister found out through your mom and dad about the situation and she grew so worried without you. When she found out you were returned home she immediately came to you, sobbing in your arms and hasn’t left you since.
You set the letter down and pick up the pile of photos on your night stand…it’s a thick stack. You begin shuffling through them and you feel like someone has stabbed you in the chest with a dull knife and they begin to carve your heart out. It’s slow and painful…they finally take your slow beating heart and squeeze it in their hands, blood spilling and spilling. Killing you.
Some photos are just of you but majority you are accompanied by Taehyung and seeing his smiling face makes you relieve the experience of getting your heart carved out of your chest.
You glance up at your ceiling as tears begin building in your eyes, you try to blink them back, your eyes opening and closing repeatedly. But it’s no use, not when you feel this lost and hopeless. Suddenly, there is knocking on your bedroom door and your father is walking in.
“Ready sweetie? Got the rest of your things?” He steps into the room, a worried expression on his face but he tries to hide it behind a forced smile. “We should get going.”
You quickly sniffle and nod your head, shoving the stack of photos and letter into your backpack before you’re swinging it over your shoulders.
“Yup, ready.”
It’s moving day. Thankfully you found another job in your old town that you lived in, you found a new, better apartment that is close to where you use to live, you finally are getting out of your parents hair.
“Alright let’s get this show on the road!” your dad pats you on the back as you walk past him. He’s got the truck loaded and ready to go for the couple hour drive. Back to the city!
~
“This place is so much nicer than your last!” Your sister sets a box down on your new kitchen counter, “You actually have a decent sized kitchen! Not that you really cook.” She laughs.
“Hey!” you whine, “I told you I learned quite a bit of cooking while on the island.”
“You also told me that your boyfriend cooked a lot too…so I’ll just assume he did all the work.” She teases and your face falls.
“He isn’t my boyfriend.” Your lips curls so far down that it’s almost comical but alas, it is not because you feel your eyes sting.
“Sorry…” your sister walks to the living room, joining you. She reaches for the box in your arms and sets it down on the floor. “y/n…just message him.”
“…I can’t.” you feel your chest start to burn, “The way things got left…I don’t know how to speak to him.” you admit. “and it’s been so long. If he hasn’t already moved on then he at least hates my guts.”
“Yeah I probably would too.” Your sister nods her head and you swat her arm.
“Thanks Ellie.” You deadpan. “Anyway, I just can’t.”
“He is probably waiting for you…he loves you.”
“You don’t know him?” you laugh quietly, “So how would you know?”
“I’ve seen the pictures of you two, in the moment pictures, and dude, he looks so taken with you in every single one.”
You can’t help the way your heart drops to your stomach. You told him you thought your feeling may not be real…those are some of your last words to him and that kills you. Without a doubt he has had to have moved on from you…why would he torture himself?
~
Later that night you are snuggled up in your bed with your sister snoozing beside you. You have your phone (Damn you missed this device) and are scrolling through Taehyung’s Instagram. You notice he posted a new group photo just 4 hours ago. You look at all the tags and see all his friends…Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi, Jimin and Jungkook. But there are also a few girls in the photo. You notice the tag for Hana. You hate that your heart completely stops beating in your chest then suddenly starts racing. Hana. He’s hanging out with Hana? Wait, why are you surprised? You take a deep breath and click her name to view her page and then that’s when your heart really stops. Her most recent photo is of her and Taehyung, their faces smooshed together with wide smiles on their faces with the caption “Missed you.” With pink hearts.
She’s pretty. Really fucking pretty. No wonder Taehyung liked her. Liked? Or likes? Are they together now? They look awfully close. You feel your eyes sting for the millionth time this day and they begin to bubble with tears. This is your fault. You pushed him away, so far away, into another woman’s arms. You start to feel lost and hopeless again…you decide stalking Taehyung through social media probably isn’t the healthiest thing for you or your heart. You continue scrolling on Hana’s page…she has lots of photos with friends, pretty Korean scenery, selfies and more. She looks lively and beautiful, oh so fucking beautiful.
You exit the app and click your phone off. You squeeze your eyes shut and a few pathetic tears that you do not deserve slide out and down your face. You really need to move on, you really need to focus on you. But how can you when a huge part of you feels like it’s been ripped from you? Taehyung was a part of you and you think he still is. You feel crushed, fucking crushed. He is probably with Hana now and you absolutely cannot blame him.
Taehyung is doing fine. Just fine. With or without you. And that reality is setting in and it hurts. It fucking hurts. But you have no one to blame but yourself.
“Why are you doing this, huh? Things were so perfect.” He stops in front of you and pulls you up by the arms. Your chests almost touch from how close you are. “Unless…” he looks down at his feet, “You’re saying all of this because that’s how you feel. You’re the one unsure of your feelings. You’re the one who only likes me—loves me—because there’s no one else.” He looks into your eyes, searching for an answer.
“Maybe.” You finally say. And you wish you didn’t because Taehyung releases a shaky breath and his brows crease together as he forms the saddest smile you have ever seen. The canvas of his life is full of beautiful bright colors but you continue to splatter blue and grey paint all over it. The paint mixes together and drips down, a gloomy mess.
“Oh.” He steps back. “I see.” He takes another step back, carding his fingers through his hair. He looks into your eyes as his gloss over, “I’ll leave you alone then.” And he turns around and walks out of the room, leaving you behind.
Why does this scene replay in your mind every single day. Every single night. His sad, sad expression leaving an ever lasting imprint in your mind. You feel broken, but you also feel angry. How dare the company send you back when you and Taehyung have so much to resolve? What is the purpose? What are their intentions? You ball the sheets in your hands as you release breath after frustrated breath. What was the point of all this? Somewhere deep in your gut you feel like this isn’t over. You feel like the company still has some ties to you…you can’t explain it…just a gut feeling.
To say you hate yourself is an understatement. You truly can’t stand to even look yourself in the mirror. You ruined the best thing that has ever happened to you—Taehyung. But you should be happy, right? He’s doing well. He has his friends, his family, Hana. He is absolutely 100% doing just fine and you have to accept that.
~~~~~
“You can’t live like this dude.” Namjoon throws a trash bag on to Taehyung’s bed, signaling him to use it.
“Yeah…Joon is right.” Jimin starts picking up some trash off the floor…mostly empty food containers. “This is getting out of hand. I know things haven’t been easy—”
Jimin is cut off with Taehyung groaning loudly and dramatically. He lifts his head off his pillow, his face evident with sleep as he eyes his two friends in his apartment.
“Get up.” Namjoon lightly kicks the bed with his foot, “And open a damn window or something.”
“And maybe take a shower. You reek of this hangover I am sure you have…” Jimin sits down on the edge of the bed, his hand going to Taehyung’s back, rubbing it soothingly. “She isn’t coming around Tae.” Jimin says as softly as possible, “She isn’t—”
“We don’t know that.” Taehyung cuts him off, grumbling. “She could.”
“You said it yourself, she isn’t sure of her feelings…why aren’t you letting it go?” Namjoon sits down on the bed as well.
“I know her.” Taehyung begins to sit up from his place in bed, his hand flying up to his pounding head. “Fuck. I’m hungover.” He complains.
“You went too hard last night.” Jimin frowns, “Again.”
“So what? You think she lied to you? That she does love you?”
“She was just scared.” Taehyung whispers. “Trust me, I know her.” He repeats again.
Jimin and Namjoon share a look of pity mixed with concern. Jimin stands from the bed, taking the trash bag with him, he opens it up and starts filling it with the garbage around the apartment. Taehyung just watches Jimin clean up and he starts to feel a sense of guilt. Maybe he has been a handful the last few months.
Taehyung is trying his best though.
The unfamiliar bed along with the unfamiliar room was indication enough that Taehyung was in a place without you. It only took him halves of seconds to realize he was in his parents’ home in their spare room. A place he didn’t frequent very often. But he understood his situation right away. The island returned him home to Korea but suddenly this place feels like the last place like home.
When he made his existence known to his mother and father they cried over and over for their son. His father going on about his regrets, how he wishes he would have supported Taehyung more in following his own dreams and so on. His mother wishing she had cooked his favorite meal more often. They basically took his disappearance on the island as his death. At least that’s how Taehyung sees it.
His parents’ received the letter as well, even the photographs. They know all about you. They know that Taehyung is in love, they know Taehyung heart aches. They know everything. They were honestly rooting for you two…they could see how much love went on between the two of you even through pictures.
But as the days went on, as the weeks went on and as the months went on, Taehyung started to feel like he is withering away with every day that passed that you did not reach out to him. Did your time on the island with him mean nothing to you? Even if you ‘maybe’ weren’t in love with him like you claimed you were still friends for god’s sake. You still without a doubt had a powerful connection.
Things have been hard. Really fucking hard. But nothing is harder than the day when the Korean intel agency notified him that you were good, that you were okay. That you were home. But they could not release any personal information. You were home…you were okay…but you still have not reached out? He’s relieved you’re well but that also comes with the disappointment that you are choosing to stay to yourself.
“Yoongi wants to work on that new song tonight, what do you say?” Namjoon stands from the bed as well and makes his way into the small kitchen for a glass of water.
“Not in the mood.” Taehyung mumbles underneath his breath.
“Listen Taehyung…” Namjoon walks back into the room, his hands crossed over his chest as he looks at Taehyung with narrowed eyes.
“If you’re serious about this, being with her, that is. Then fucking do something about it.” Namjoon continues to stare down at him while Jimin keeps cleaning.
“I don’t have her number, I can’t find her anywhere on the internet and I barely know where she lives. What the fuck can I do?” Taehyung grits out, raising his voice just the slightest as he talks.
“….There has to be something.” Jimin speaks up. “A clue.”
“A fucking clue? What are we? Fucking detectives?” Taehyung throws his hands up, frustrated.
“Jimin’s right.” Namjoon uncrosses his arms and runs a hand through his hair, “She must have mentioned something, anything. You have to think.”
“You think I have the mental capability to think right now?” Taehyung questions with a bitter chuckle. “She doesn’t do much. She never mentioned some grand event she goes to every year, she didn’t mention what school she went to, she didn’t mention what company she worked for, she didn’t fucking mention anything. She stays to herself.” Then Taehyung’s eyes go wide.
“You know I use to go to this coffee place almost every single day. I miss it. That routine. It’s called ------------…a small, family owned shop. Only one of its kind. I would read, write, journal. Just relax. Every day.” You breathe out, missing your comfort spot.
Taehyung rushes to stand from the bed, he is quick to scoop Jimin up in his arms and place a dramatic kiss to his cheek.
“Jimin you fucking genius!” Taehyung suddenly remembered the night you had a panic attack. When you calmed down enough to speak you told him all the things you missed about your real life. Including some coffee place you would frequent on the regular. But he cannot remember the name of it for the life of him.
“What? What?” Jimin starts giggling, “Why?”
“A coffee shop! She used to go to a coffee shop!” Taehyung basically yells in excitement.
“Okay, what’s it called?” Namjoon smiles and immediately Taehyung expression turns sour.
“I…I don’t remember. But it was family owned, only one of its kind.”
Namjoon can’t help the frown that decorates his face but then he tries to smile.
“Better start doing your research lover boy.”
~
“Cozy Coffee. It’s in (Your city).” Taehyung slams a sheet of paper onto the bar top in front of Namjoon. “I found it.”
“What’d you find?” Jin asks from besides him, “Wait that place y/n goes to?”
Taehyung nods his head quickly with a wide ass smile adoring his face.
“Yup.”
“Now what, kid?” Yoongi brings his beer to his lips as he takes a generous sip. “You going to call that place and ask for her?” he laughs a little.
“No.” Taehyung straightens his back as he speaks. “I’m going there.”
“You’re…” Hobi begins but stops when he sees how serious Taehyung is.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Jungkook starts shaking his head. “This girl—”
“y/n.” Taehyung snaps.
“Right…” Jungkook gulps. “y/n…she ignores you these last 6 months and you are still trying to be with her?”
All of the boys share looks with one another, frowns on everyone’s faces.
“Jungkook is right—”
“Tae told her he would do whatever it takes…he also believes in her feelings. So let’s believe in him.” Jimin cuts in, his hand going to Taehyung’s shoulder and giving him a smile.
“Jimin is right…” Namjoon breathes out, “Let’s trust in our Taehyungie.”
“But don’t forget what she did to you Taehyung.” Jungkook whispers seriously. “You weren’t okay…”
Another day passes and still, nothing from you. Taehyung brings yet another bottle of soju to his mouth as he starts downing it. He feels his world collapsing around him. He feels how everything around him is cracking and breaking apart. But the most cracked, broken thing is him. He looks at himself in the mirror and stares into his empty eyes, these same eyes that used to gaze at you. These same eyes that saw your smile, laugh, cry. These same eyes that undressed you. These same eyes that saw you coming undone over and over. These same eyes.
Taehyung chugs back his drink, his eyes never leaving his reflection as he finishes the bottle. He made a mistake tonight, a drunken mistake but a mistake nonetheless. He slept with Hana. Taehyung, the boys and Hana and her girlfriends were all at the bar tonight and he just doesn’t see her that way. Yet, he was inside her just an hour ago. He slowly closes his eyes, regret and guilt filling his entire being. What the fuck did he do?
His life is all over the place, a mess, if you will. A big, fat messy mess. He got a new apartment, leaving his parents’ house and he doesn’t think he has cleaned it even once since moving in. He drowns in alcohol, he drowns in unfinished songs, he drowns in his friends concerns and mostly? He drowns in you.
He stares at your photographs an unhealthy amount. He has cried over your photos countless times, he has touched himself to them too. Somehow that is more satisfying than the sex he just shared with Hana. The empty fuck he just gave her haunts him in this very mirror. Did he betray you? Have you also fucked someone new? Have you moved on?
Taehyung stares at himself, hating what he sees. You’re doing this to him. He went from being miserably depressed to angry. He’s beginning to blame you for everything with rage. But as much as he wants to hate you—he does want to—he just can’t. He can’t gather that type of energy in your direction. He just can’t.
Hana looks very pretty tonight…she’s been trying extra hard lately, Taehyung thinks. She is always casually got a hand on his arm, she always finds a way to be standing next to him, talking to him, leaning into him. Taehyung isn’t stupid. She wants him still. She apparently dated during the 8 months he was gone but nothing serious came from it. And now here she is, sleeping on his bed as he drinks by himself in his bathroom mirror.
So many different thoughts have gone through Taehyung’s head. Is he hard to love? That’s the main question that came out of all of this. You spent every day with him for 8 months and you weren’t even sure of your feelings. Shouldn’t a person know by then? He’s trying to be understanding…he is trying so fucking hard to understand but how can he? When he is balls deep in love with you and he doesn’t have to question it at all.
He is spiraling, he is being sucked into a darkness that he can’t crawl out of. He looks at himself in the mirror again, his eyes narrowing at his own reflection—disgusted with what he sees. He grips the empty bottle of soju as he feels his eyes wet with tears. He grips on to the bottle harder and harder, tears now leaving his big brown eyes. He growls out, groaning in frustration as he lifts the bottle up and throws it at his mirror. Glass shattering everywhere.
Startled, Hana jumps from the bed and rushes to the loud sound, finding Taehyung just standing lifeless, continuing to eye himself in the broken mirror. He likes what he sees much better. The cracked glass making for a better reflection, a more accurate representation of what he truly sees when he views himself.
“What the fuck?!” Hana yells out, rushing to Taehyungs side. “Are you okay???”
Taehyung walks closer to the mirror and lightly slides his hand down the cracked mirror, his fingers careful not to get cut.
“No.” he answers honestly and quietly. “I’m not.”
“I’m fine, Jungkook.” Taehyung assures him, “At least I will be…when I see her.”
“What if she doesn’t want to see you?” Yoongi says quietly, worried for his friend. He brings his beer to the bar top and stares at the liquid.
“I’ll get to that when I get to that.” Taehyung sighs out…”I can’t let go of this until I know for sure.”
~~~~~~
Settling into your new job has been smooth, thankfully. It’s only been a few weeks but you can say you really like it. Your boss is an older woman, your coworkers seem nice and the work isn’t too taxing. Your apartment is starting to come together as well, only a few more boxes left to unpack. On the outside things are honestly going well…your life looks normal and put together. But on the inside you continue to fall apart.
“Come on!” Ellie whines, “Just give me one little, tiny, juicy detail.”
“Ew, no!” you laugh, “I have nothing to share!”
“Oh, bullshit.” Ellie takes a drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke the other direction.
You two are sitting on your balcony, watching the evening sun set.
“You are trying to tell me you two didn’t fuck? Not even once?” Ellie gives you a knowing smile and you can’t help but laugh.
“Okay maybe once.”
“I call bullshit again.” Ellie starts to laugh, thrusting her hips forward theatrically, “I bet you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”
“Something like that.” You admit shyly.
“I don’t blame you. He looks so hot.” Ellie takes another puff of her cigarette. “What was he like in bed?”
“Ugh, Ellie.” You groan, “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Afraid of getting horny thinking about it?” She chuckles and you roll your eyes.
“Fine, I’ll tell you one thing.” You hold one finger up, giving her a look that says you are serious. Ellie giggles, nodding her head in agreement.
“He’s…big.” You basically whisper.
“He’s what?”
“Shut up, you heard me.” You laugh, “First time I saw it he wasn’t even fully hard and I was impressed.” You smirk, feeling proud of Taehyung’s gorgeous dick.
“Damn girl. Nice.” Ellie nods in approval, “Did he know how to use it?”
“Ugh….yes.” you roll your eyes back, remembering the feel of his cock. “He did. Aaaannnd he is probably using it on his new girlfriend.” You sigh, feeling your heart break piece by piece in your chest.
“What? What do you mean???” Ellie puts her cigarette out in the ash tray, “New girlfriend?”
“Yeah.” You keep it short and simple. “Anyway, I really do not want to talk about him anymore.”
“…Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
You give your sister a sad, small smile and she returns it. You feel your phone buzz in your lap and you go to pick it up, you quite literally feel all the color drain from your face. Your heart stops completely. What the actual fuck? Why is he texting you? Him of all people?
~
Finally gathering the courage to buy his plane ticket, Taehyung begins packing for his trip. He got a roundtrip flight for one week. He has one week to find you. He’s starting to get nervous, really fucking nervous. He had all this confidence to do this but honestly? Over the last 6-7 months he has become quite insecure. You left him in shambles. He grew weak without you, he grew pathetic in his eyes.
“Make sure you bring plenty of underwear.” Jimin teases, helping Taehyung pack. “You never pack enough and somehow end up going commando.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Taehyung is too nervous to even joke around, he is too nervous to even look at Jimin—his best friend—for more than a second because he is afraid he is going to see right through him.
“You’re nervous.” Jimin blurts out and Taehyung opens his mouth in shock. But should he be? Jimin is his best friend, he can read him like a book.
“Yeah…”
“I think you have every right to be.” Jimin pats him on the shoulder, “You have been through a lot…and so much is unknown.”
“Yeah….” Taehyung agrees, “I feel like I’m walking into this blind.”
“You kind of are.” Jimin admits quietly. “You kind of are.”
“Do you think…I’m making a mistake?” Taehyung sits down on his bed, messing with the blanket between his fingers.
“No.” Jimin answers honestly. “I am probably the one who has heard about y/n the most. I almost feel like I know her.” Jimin laughs, “And I think you’re right. She was scared. This company…fuck that company by the way, this company set you two up and tried to force love on you. Of course that’s going to fuck her up. Of course she is going to have her doubts…you can’t blame her Tae. Yeah, it’s fucked up she hasn’t reached out at all but dude…it’s a tricky situation.”
“I know…” Taehyung’s head falls into his hands, “Fuck…I know.”
“And…” Jimin sits down next to him, “I don’t want you to regret not looking for her, it sucks that it’s you doing everything, I can admit that. I wish she would grow some fucking balls and talk to you but looks like you got to do all the work buddy.”
“Yeah.”
~
Taehyung checks into some dingy hotel downtown in the city you live, the place is dark, gritty even. But it’s just one of the first places that was affordable that popped up when he was googling places to stay. He doesn’t totally mind, he doubts he will be spending much time in here. He receives his key from the girl at the front desk, she eyes him up and down, obviously liking what she sees.
Taehyung walks down a dark hallway to reach his room—he’s starting to feel like the main character in a horror movie. He reaches his door and unlocks it, opening it and shuffling inside with his luggage. The room smells dusty, the bed is small and the blanket thin. The room is loud with the AC unit blowing freezing air and the dark curtains don’t let in any light whatsoever.
He sets his luggage down on the carpet and sits on the bed…he takes his phone out and sends a text to his group chat that he made it alive.
Namjoon 4:02pm
Good luck man, we’re rooting for you.
Jungkook 4:02pm
Fingers crossed homie
Jin 4:03pm
Bring her back to Korea
Yoongi 4:03pm
He can’t just bring her back Jin
Hobi 4:03pm
I also vote he brings her back with him
Jimin 4:04pm
I agree, I want to meet the infamous y/n
Taehyung 4:04pm
Am I also allowed to vote that I want to bring her back with me?
Taehyung quietly laughs to himself as he clicks his phone off. He lays back on the bed and groans when he feels how hard the mattress is. But it doesn’t matter because he is here on a mission, a mission to find you and he wants to waste no time.
~
Day 1:
Taehyung wakes up early to grab a bite to eat at the diner next to the hotel, this place doesn’t even offer complimentary breakfast! The audacity. He orders pancakes but they definitely aren’t as good as yours.
Waking up and breathing the same city air you’re breathing makes Taehyung for the first time in 6 months—feel alive. Like being in the same place as you is slowly helping him regain some of his self back. He knows you are here. You live here. You walk these streets, you eat these foods, you breathe this air. The same fucking air he is breathing.
Nothing excites him and makes him more nauseas. He misses you. He wants to see you. But he is afraid at the same time. He’s so fucking terrified. How will you react? Are you okay? Do you really not love him? Have you moved on? Seeing someone new? His mind races as he cuts into these pancakes.
Taehyung pulls out his phone and checks the time…almost 7 am. He needs to hurry to the coffee place…because what if you stop by there on your way to work? Or maybe you don’t work right now and you go there just to chill? He doesn’t know but he knows he won’t miss a chance to see you.
Taehyung finishes up his plate of food and pays. He leaves the diner and starts walking towards Cozy Coffee, only a 15 minute walk. He inhales deeply, hoping to somehow get a whiff of you, he looks at all the flowers on the side of the sidewalks and thinks of you. Would you be interested in a bouquet of flowers? He recalls on your first unofficial first date he gave you a handful of flowers from the island and you liked it. Ugh, what is he thinking? All he needs to be worried about right now is fucking finding you.
Finally, Taehyung makes his way inside Cozy Coffee. It’s a pretty small place but big enough for a handful of people to be occupying the many tables. His eyes scan the area but they don’t come across you. He sighs and heads towards the counter to order a tea and take a seat at a table in the back near the restrooms.
He spends hours here in this spot. The entire day actually. No sign of you. And the owner has to literally escort him out when it is closing time. He walks back to the hotel with his head hanging low, he guesses today wasn’t a day for reading or writing.
Day 2:
These pancakes aren’t bad actually, not the second time around. Yours are still better, of course but he’s getting use to them. Maybe tomorrow he should try something different.
Taehyung walks leisurely towards the coffee shop, he somehow has this idea he might run into you on the street or something. But he doesn’t.
The coffee shop is a little less busy today, Taehyung goes inside, orders his tea and occupies the same table as yesterday. He pulls his backpack to his lap and brings out a notebook and pen, he decides he will work on song lyrics today.
Hours and hours pass, tea after tea is drank and still, no sign of you. Closing time approaches and he is once again, asked to leave. Taehyung nods in understanding, gathers his belongings and walks back to the hotel. Slowly of course, because deep down he thinks he just might run into you.
Day 3:
French toast today…not as good as the pancakes but still, pretty good. He wonders if you can make French toast? You never mentioned it. Taehyung realizes there is still so much he does not know about you. The thought kind of drives him crazy. He wants to know you. Know all of you. Know you better than anyone else.
The walk to the coffee shop is slow and enjoyable. The scenery is pretty as he strolls on the sidewalk, the flowers poking through the cement bring him a small level of joy for the day. Once he enters the shop, the owner gives him a smile. He orders his tea and makes his way to the back table, pulls out his notebook and starts writing his song lyrics.
On my pillow. Can’t get me tired. Sharing my fragile truth. That I hope the door is still open. Cause the window. Opened one time with you and me. Now my forever is falling down. Wondering if you’d want me now.
Taehyung sets his pen down taking a break from writing, he reaches for his tea and takes a few sips. The liquid has gone cold. He sighs out and lets the hours pass him by. Closing time approaches like it does every night and he is asked to leave.
Day 4:
He’s back to getting pancakes. He likes to pretend they are yours, that you made them for him. He likes to imagine a life where you make breakfast for him again. He likes to imagine a life where you’re just here again. It’s almost 7 am, he needs to head to the coffee shop. He strolls casually, wondering what you are up to on this Thursday morning. Are you finally going to make an appearance at Cozy Coffee? Are you running late for work? Are you in early today?
Taehyung enters the shop and the owner gives him a sweet smile and begins working on his tea. Taehyung feels grateful that it’s being made without him even ordering it yet, a smile adorning his face. He pays for the tea and makes his way to the his table, pulls out his notebook and continues working on his song.
I’m wondering are you my best friend? Feels like a river’s rushing through my mind. I wanna ask you if this is all just in my head. My heart is pounding tonight, I wonder if you are too good to be true. And would it be alright if I pulled you closer.
Taehyung lets hours and hours pass, his pen busy on his notebook paper. The lyrics coming to him so easily for the first time in months. He can’t help the sad smile that grows on his face as he reads and rereads his song lyrics.
Just like every day when the bell of the front door jingles his head shoots up to see who it is. Now is no different. A woman comes in and his heart almost stops because she looks like you at first glance. Taehyung groans at the disappointment. Because it’s not you.
Day 5:
Okay, he is back to French toast. It’s starting to grow on him, he definitely wants to ask you to make this for him. His imagination begins to run wild with dreams of making food with you again, kissing the side of your neck as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind you. Like the many times he has done it.
“Taehyung…” you whine as he nips your neck with his teeth. “I’m trying to concentrate on this recipe.”
“I’m trying to concentrate too.” Taehyung smirks against your soft skin, “On you.”
You can’t help the blush that begins spreading across your cheeks, his fingers dig into your hips and you moan out.
“Taehyung…”
“What is it baby?” he starts kissing your neck. “Want me to fuck you? Right here?” he digs his fingers deeper into your hips and you start grinding against him.
“Couch.” You breathe out. “I want to ride you.”
“Oh? You want to be in control? Maybe I will allow it this once.” He teases, his tongue licking a strip up to your ear, then he nibbles on the lobe.
Taehyung finds his pants getting tight as he recalls his memories with you. He misses kissing you, he misses touching you, he misses your scent, he misses your skin, your eyes, your lips.
Shit, it’s past 7. He needs to hurry to Cozy’s.
He’s seated in his spot with his tea and notebook out, he swears he is almost finished with this song…the chorus needs some work but he thinks he’s got it. Something about being ships in the night, but somehow he doesn’t have the courage to finish he song, he doesn’t want that to be his relationship with you.
Night time comes and still no sign of you. Tomorrow is his last day and he is starting to freak out. Where are you? He thought you came here all the time? Why aren’t you coming? Are you okay? He is asked to leave once again and he does.
Day 6:
Back to pancakes. Back to strolling on the side walk. Back to Cozy’s. Back to his tea. Back to his spot.
Taehyung feels the nerves in his body multiplying with every shaky breath he takes. Today is the last night, his flight is in the morning and he has made no progress on finding you. This place being his only hint.
“Excuse me…” Taehyung walks up to the counter and greets the owner.
“What can I do for you young man? Another tea?” he softly smiles at Taehyung but Taehyung shakes his head.
“I have a question…” he begins. “Do you know y/n y/l/n?”
“y/n???” the old man begins to smile after expressing his confusion, “Of course I do, that girl has been coming here for years.” He starts wiping down the counter with a rag. “Why? You looking for her? You aren’t some creepy ex-boyfriend are you?”
“No, no.” Taehyung laughs. “But I am looking for her…she usually comes here right?” he nervously chuckles.
“Usually. But she started a new job recently that has kept her a little busy…” the old man continues to wipe down the counter. “But she was in just last week! And It’s Saturday!” he cheers, “She always comes to write on weekends.”
Taehyung lights up at that. “Really??” he shows the old man a wide, boxy grin. He feels like he hasn’t smiled like that in what seems like forever. All because there is finally a chance he might see you.
“Oh…” The old man stops wiping to get a good look at Taehyung. “You look like a man in love.”
Taehyung’s eyes widen just a bit before he smiles, “Do I?”
The shop is busy today. Taehyung sits in his usual spot, writing and doodling in his notebook, his head lifting up quickly every time the door jingles. It’s never you though. It is already 6pm and there is still no sign on you and Taehyung hates that he is starting to lose hope. Are you not coming? He doesn’t have much time left.
Taehyung sits here, his pen between his lips as he thinks about you. He thinks about the first time he saw you…he really thought you were some girl he might have drunkenly hooked up with…he remembers your expression, how shocked, how scared, how overwhelmed you were. He wishes now he could go back in time and hug you. Tell you he’s with you, together. That you aren’t alone. Taehyung wishes he could kiss your temple, bring you in close and make you feel okay. He recalls the first time you two really interacted.
“We need to find out what’s going on.” Taehyung takes a deep breath, lifting his head up. He locks his eyes with yours again but you break contact to look at your feet.
“We don’t know anything…would if it’s not safe?” you quietly try to reason.
“Exactly, we don’t know anything and that’s a problem. You don’t expect us to stay in this room forever, do you?”
He has a point and you know it. You want to follow him out of this room but your feet seem to be glued to the floor.
“Well, no. But—”
“Didn’t think so.” He turns away from you, his body shuffling towards the bedrooms door but before he can become out of reach your hand flies to his shirt sleeve, tugging it softly.
“Wait! Just hold on—” Your voice wavers and Taehyung rolls his eyes. Rolls his fucking eyes at you!
“Listen, come. Or don’t. I don’t really care.” Taehyung releases your hold on his shirt, unsticking your fingers and throwing your hand towards your body. “Decide.” He states before swiftly turning around to head towards the door.
Oh. So this guy is a fucking asshole. Noted.
You end up following him because although he was rude about it, feeling someone’s touch when you feel so scared was slightly comforting and yes, you are aware of how fucking pathetic that is.
Taehyung stands in front of the door, his hand reaching for the knob when he turns his head to say, “Just trust me.”
And now you are the one rolling your eyes. Trust him? You just met the dude! 10 minutes ago his name was Future Murderer. How could you possibly trust this asshole?
“How can I trust you? I literally just met you.” The scowl on your face deepens when he smirks.
“Are you always such a fucking baby?”
“Are you always such a fucking baby?” you mock, eyes rolling so far into the back of your head.
Taehyung can’t help but chuckle. God, you were such a brat. It’s almost 7 now…still no sign of you.
“Maybe if you weren’t always following me, they would have sent us home by now.” Taehyung states bitterly as he puts his slice of bread on top of his now made sandwich.
“I’m not following you.” You roll your eyes, “I have to eat too.”
“You can’t wait until I’m done?”
“You look pretty done to me…” You point at his sandwich and he scoffs.
“I still have to eat it.”
“Eat in your room for all I care.”
You and Taehyung are getting along just fine…maybe not swimmingly but like, fine. It’s been a couple weeks and you have mostly stayed out of one another’s way but it’s moments like this that you end up interacting.
“I think I’ll eat at the table, thanks.” He grabs his sandwich and makes his way to the dining room table, sitting down with a thump. He aggressively picks up his sandwich and takes a bite while showing you a smart ass smile.
“Fantastic,” you state, “Me too.” You finish pouring milk into your cereal bowl and set it back inside the fridge. You dramatically make your way over to the table as well, giving him a wide grin as you sit down in front of him. You slightly slam your bowl down on the table, some milk dribbling over the edge of the bowl and Taehyung snarls.
“Great, you’re making a fucking mess.”
“If you went up and ate in you room you would have no idea about this mess.”
“But you still would have made this mess?”
“Ignorance is bliss, Taehyung.”
“You’re such a…” he stops, setting his lips into a firm line and you lean your head forward, clearly curious about what you are.
“Such a…?” you blink at him repeatedly and his lips curve upward into a charming smile.
“A fucking brat.” Taehyung grabs his sandwich again and takes an obnoxious bite while grinning and you give him your best annoyed eye roll.
Taehyung continues to chuckles as he goes down memory lane…he does regret being mean to you at first but god, you truly were a fucking brat. But he laughs about it now, loving every single memory he shares with you.
The door jingles and he shoots his head up, hoping it is you. But still, just like every other fucking time—it’s not.
Taehyung groans into his notebook, feeling lost and frustrated. What’s he going to do if you don’t show? He’s trying here. Is the universe really that cruel? And suddenly the door jingles again, but he doesn’t look up, he knows it isn’t you.
“Hi Mister Jones!”
Oh. Oh. That voice. That voice belongs to you. Taehyung whips his head up and there you are. You are standing at the doors entrance with a nervous smile on your face, why are you nervous? You are wearing jeans and a oversized t shirt, a casual but cute look. And Taehyung is falling in love with you. Seeing you in the real world for the first time has him frozen in place.
“The usual?”
“Yeah.” You reply calmly, glancing at the empty table at the front of the shop. You pull a chair out and take a seat, your back to Taehyung. He is still frozen. He all of the sudden feels unprepared for this. He all of the sudden feels sick. He clenches his jaw as he watches your back. You are here, living your life without even think of him aren’t you? Taehyung swallows down his anger now. He has to. Anger won’t do him any good.
He takes long breath after long breath trying to compose himself and find his confidence to go up to you and confront you. He blinks back his growing tears of frustration and stands from his table, the chair screeching against the wooden floors.
He stands here, frozen again. What if you really do not want to see him? That this was all intentional? He starts to feel sick again. He squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to get rid of the feeling of nausea.
“Taehyung…” you whisper his name, “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You think having feelings for me means that’s it? That it’s the end? Baby, it would only be the beginning.” Taehyung leans down again as he caresses your face. “I know you’re scared. I know you have trauma that you’re still getting through. I know your ex fucked you up. But I’m not him. I’m Taehyung. I’m…fuck, I don’t know. y/n, please just open your heart to me.” Taehyung looks at you with so much compassion that it physically hurts.
“I know,” your voice shakes, “I know you aren’t him, Tae.” You take his hand in yours, “I do like you.” You finally admit, shutting your eyes.
“Look at me.” Taehyung commands, “Look at me babe.”
You slowly open your eyes again, gazing into his dark ones and you feel yourself grow warmer and warmer.
“I’m only looking at you.”
Taehyung quickly opens his eyes as he finds his resolve. You love him. He knows it. He feels it. You wanted him, just like how he wanted you—wants you.
He nods his head, trying to pump himself up, about to gain the courage to walk to you when the door jingles again and a man walks in. A man that immediately looks at you and smiles.
This man takes a seat across from you at the small table and Taehyung feels his heart halting in his chest. He feels himself grow warm, he feels himself grow the company of something evil, something green. He feels himself grow incredibly fucking jealous. So you do have someone. You moved on. You have someone, someone that is not him. Taehyung slowly plops back down in his chair, his mouth slightly open as he watches this man talk and smile at you.
But suddenly, Taehyung notices how tense you become. How you grip on to your purse harder and harder with every word this man speaks. He can sense you from here…something is wrong. Who is this man? Why is he making you so uncomfortable? Is this not a date? Taehyung isn’t sure what to do. He could be reading this all wrong, he could be imagining this for his own sake. He could be creating this world where you don’t love anyone but him.
But then you stand from your chair abruptly and storm out of the shop, this man desperately tries to grab for you and quickly follows after you. Taehyung stands from his chair as well, already racing towards the shops door, in search of you. He didn’t even think about it, he just acted on instinct.
“y/n!” the man calls out after you but you continue to speed walk away until you feel a hand grab at your arm. You are quick to turn around, ready to give him an earful when your face goes completely pale.
“T-Taehyung…?” you stutter out, the shock riding in waves throughout your entire body.
“I said wait baby!” The man jogs up to you and Taehyung, Taehyung releases his hold on your arm and looks between you and this man.
“Baby?” Taehyung whispers out, already feeling his heart crack inside his chest. Maybe this is just a lovers quarrel. He continues looking between you and this man and you can see the hurt plastered all over Taehyung’s face.
“No—”
“Who is this?” The man stands between you and Taehyung. “Who are you?”
“Ben, you can leave. I think I have heard enough.” You spit out and Taehyung’s eyes widen before they are narrowing at you.
“Ben…?” he asks, not even sparing Ben a glance, only focusing on you. “Why are you with him y/n?” Taehyung’s voice goes dangerously low. “I asked, why are you with him?”
“He was just—”
“I was just talking with my girl. Is that a problem?”
“Your girl?” You and Taehyung ask in unison.
“You’re fucking kidding, right y/n?” Taehyung’s face is taken over with a scowl. “There’s no fucking way you are seeing this asshole again.”
“It’s not—”
“Asshole?” Ben scoffs, “Who the fuck are you?”
Taehyung doesn’t even look Bens way as he eyes you, he stuffs his hands into his front pockets and stares at you with his hard expression.
“Answer me.” He commands. “Now.”
“Listen buddy—” Ben begins but Taehyung just a holds a hand up in front of Bens face and tilts his head at you.
“I said, now.” Taehyung finally lowers his hand, then he is feeling his body being shove backward.
“I said who the fuck are you?” Ben pushes Taehyung, his hands still on his chest at the collar of his shirt. “How do you know my girl? y/n…you been fucking other men?”
“I’m not your fucking girl Ben.” You finally snap out of your daze, “I said leave.”
Ben lets go of Taehyung shirt to face you, he walks closer and closer until his feet are practically touching your own.
“Sweetheart I said I was sorry…” Ben tries to caress your face but you smack his hand away.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” You spit out, “Ever.”
Taehyung eyes the both of you with curiosity. What’s going on here? Are you with him or aren’t you? You notice Taehyung’s confused expression and move towards him to begin explaining.
“Ben is just here to explain why he did what he did…I don’t know why I agreed…but—”
“I’ve heard enough.” Taehyung stops you, he walks closer to you. “He’s bothering you?”
“I ain’t bothering anyone you fucking dick. And you never answered my question—who the fuck are—”
Your eyes are as wide as saucers and you watch the collision of Taehyung’s fist to Ben’s face. You swear you are witnessing it in slow motion, the way his fist crashes into the side of Bens jaw. The way Ben stumbles back and falls to the pavement. The way Taehyung grits his teeth as he brings his fist back to his own body. Did Taehyung just fucking punch your ex-boyfriend in the fucking face?
“She said to fucking leave.” Taehyung growls, “Now.”
“Taehyung!” you rush to his side, immediately reaching for his fist and inspecting it for any damage. You are hit with something massive…like the grandest bolt of electricity the moment your hand touches his. You try your hardest to ignore it, to ignore the fire that caught light, the raging fire that burns so wildly in your chest.
“Come. Come with me.” You say in panic, ignoring the fact that Ben lays on the concrete, probably knocked the fuck out. You hold on to Taehyung’s hand tightly as you lead him to the parking lot until you’re at your car. You hurry to let go of his hand, feeling so fucking nervous. What the hell is happening? Everything with Ben happened so fast that you haven’t even processed the fact that Taehyung is here. Here with you. In your city. In this parking lot. At your car.
“Tae—”
You stop before you can even finish his name. He looks at you with something you have never seen before. He goes to open his mouth but he stops himself, not knowing what the right thing to say is.
“I don’t know what to say anymore now that I am with you.” Taehyung finally says after a long while, his eyes are wet and his expression is troubled.
“I thought I would get here and I would tell you I am ready to make this work, that I missed you, that I love you. But now…seeing you. Really seeing you, I don’t know anymore.” He admits. “I think I am angry with you.” He says softly. “Really fucking angry.”
“Tae—”
“No.” he moves his head to the side, his eyes down at his shoes. “Let me speak. I have prepared a whole speech for you…but now, I don’t think I would mean any of the words.” He shuts his eyes, a tear escaping. “Did you go too far? Too far in hurting me?” he whispers. “Did you ruin me?”
You start breathing heavily, not knowing how to take his words. Why is he here?
“I had to fucking search for you. But did you even want to be found?” he questions you softly.
“Taehyung.” You say firmly. “I—”
“Am I a fool?” He chokes out, “A fool for doing this? Coming all the way here…sitting at this coffee place every single day waiting for you like the pathetic man that I am.” Another tear slips.
“Can I talk now?” you whisper. “Please?”
Taehyung gulps down his spit, anticipating what you might say. He gestures for you to speak and you take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out…” you begin, your chest getting tighter and tighter. “Every day that passed it got harder and harder to do it. If I’m being honest I stalked your account…” you admit with a bitter laugh, “You seemed happy. I wasn’t even sure you wanted me to reach out. Then Hana…”
“Hana?” Taehyung scrunches his brows together, “What’s Hana got to do with this?”
“You two are together aren’t you? I know, Taehyung.” You swallow hard.
Taehyung shakes his head in confusion, how do you know about Hana? You know he slept with her or?
“It was only one time.” Taehyung admits quietly…”but how do you know about that?”
“She posted you on her Instagram. I just assumed.” You say dryly, feeling a pang in your chest as you look at him. So he did get with her. You fucking knew it.
“Why are you here Taehyung?”
“I was here to tell you I love you. I want to make this work.” He says bluntly.
“Was?” you whisper and he nods.
“Now that I am here and I see you, I know I fucking love you still. But I think I’m lost and confused right now.” He admits between bated breaths. “I was so nervous to see you and to be honest looking at you now…I still feel nervous. Like, I could throw up.”
“I feel that way too.” You admit.
“You hurt me, y/n.” he steps closer to you, his gaze is dark and unwavering. “Can I forgive you?” he whispers and you choke back a sob. “Do you even love me back?...That’s also a main problem here.”
“I don’t know what to say.” You breathe out roughly, “I’m sorry for our last conversation on the island.”
“Are you?” he takes another step. “Are you really?”
“Yes, Tae…I …I…”
“You? You?” Another step.
“I was so scared, I was so confused.” You take a step back, but he continues walking towards you. “ But I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?” he steps closer. “About that ‘maybe’ hmm?” he steps even closer until he is breathing the same zone of air as you. He reaches for your jaw with his hand and tilts your head up towards him. “I could have fucking told you that.”
“Taehyung…” you don’t mean to whimper, but you do. You fucking do. “I’m sorry. It just got so hard to talk to you but I have thought about you every second of every day.”
“Every second?” he scoffs, “Even as you were having coffee with fucking Ben?”
“It seriously isn’t what it looks like…” you rush to say, “He wouldn’t stop pestering me.”
“Tell me how you feel y/n. Right fucking now.” He roughly commands, his fingers still on your jaw.
“I—”
“I want everything, every detail. I want to know exactly what’s going on in this brain of yours.” Taehyung looks at you with hard eyes. “I want the truth.”
You scrunch your face up as you try not to cry, you feel so many overwhelming feelings all at once. You don’t know what to say. You love him. But is it that simple? “I…” You gulp.
“You?” his eyes soften just the slightest, “Just talk to me babe.” His voice loses all its edge as you begin to silently cry. His thumb wipes away your falling tears. “Just talk to me.”
“I miss you so fucking much.” Is the first thing that slips out of your mouth, “You have no idea…” you sob.
“If anyone has an idea, it’s me.” He chuckles bitterly.
“I let time pass me by Tae, I regret it so much. But as the seconds ticked by I knew I was losing my window of opportunity. And before I knew it 6 months had passed.” You choke, “I am so, so sorry.” You stare into his dark eyes. “The company did me a favor.” You laugh, “They gave me you. I fell in love with you, Taehyung. I just…I’m so sorry I doubted myself, doubted you.”
Taehyung’s features soften as he listens to you, he feels himself grow weak. Especially with his fingers touching your skin. He pulls back from you and leans against your car.
“Are you still in love with me?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes.” You sniffle, wiping your face of your tears. “I think I always will be, even if you decide you hate me.”
“I wish I could hate you.” Taehyung throws his head back, “It would make this easier, I wouldn’t even be here.”
“Make what easier?”
“Leaving you behind.” He says quietly, “Leaving us behind.”
Your body begins to shake as more tears escape you, you feel the heavy weight of his words fucking crush you. He wants nothing to do with you. He doesn’t want you anymore. You fucked up too badly. Taehyung watches as you sob for several minutes, his eyes never leaving your flushed face. He clicks his tongue and puts a hand on your shoulder and rubs it.
“That’s what I think I should do.” He says, “But I can’t.”
Wait, what?
“You c-can’t?”
“I love you too much. And I all my friends voted I bring you back to Korea.” He says with a small smirk.
“But you?” you cry, “You said you are leaving me?”
“I was thinking aloud. And to be honest I wanted you to suffer a bit.” He says with his dark gaze. “I wanted to punish you just a little.”
Your wide eyes narrow at him and you can’t help but cry harder. “You fucking sadist.”
“Maybe a little.” He admits with a growing sly smile. “We have a lot to talk about.” He says after a moment. “Do you want to make this work with me or not?”
“Are you serious? Even after all of this you still want to be with me?”
“We’re soulmates, baby. Or did you forget?”
“You fucking smartass.” You wipe at your face, wiping your snots on the collar of your t shirt. “But yes…I want to make this work.”
“Spend a couple weeks with me in Korea. I want to start over with you. Take things slow. I am still angry. But I fucking love you.”
“A couple weeks in Korea?” you shake your head, “I can’t take off work that long.”
“I am not going to beg you.” Taehyung warns, “But please.”
A couple weeks in Korea? With Taehyung? Meeting his family? His friends? Starting over? Going slow? Can you two really do this?
287 notes · View notes
yelenasdog · 3 years
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moving out, moving on (mitch rapp x fem reader)
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genre: fluff
summary: mitch and reader are taking another step towards mitch moving on, and it’s bittersweet.
words: 2.2k
warnings: drinking wine, kinda suggestive at times, talks abt katrina, mitch being emotional, my writing being melodramatic LOL
a/n: so. this was written during an all nighter that went to 7 am where i was listening to nicki minaj and eminem (???) for a good duration of it so. i’m very sorry if this is wonky at times! i hope u enjoy either way! mwah 
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The early morning rays streamed through thin fabric, draped above the assassin's window. Dust particles floated about, becoming visible within the section of light cast from the sun. The birds perched outside the small apartment tweeted happily from their branch, their songs beautiful. 
Though, they were quite pesterous to the pair that lay together, wrapped in gray sheets. They reveled in the heat provided by the soft blanket, but even more so by the warmth from their joint bodies.
A mop of dark brown hair stirred, bringing one hand up to softly rub his eyes with his knuckle, the other hand snaking around the waist of the woman peacefully sleeping beside him. He watched with fond eyes as she lightly groaned, rolling to face away from the invasion of bright, turning towards her love. 
Mitch smiled down at her sleepy behavior, reaching out and brushing stray hairs from her forehead. He reluctantly retracted it only moments later, forcing himself out of bed to go and prepare the two of them for their big day as best he knew how: Coffee.
His sock clad feet dragged across the hardwood as he went, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and groggy-ness (a word Y/n had donned as her own, and Mitch had caught on to) still very prevalent in his entire system. 
The Rhode Island air was frigid this time of year, Mitch allowing a grin to break out on his face upon remembrance of two nights previous, just how cold Y/n had been in the arena of the Providence Bruins hockey team. Nose pink, donned in a beanie proudly showing the team's logo, well, he had found himself a new lockscreen.
He shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of said groggy-ness, his body on autopilot as it made the beverages. He picked out her favorite mug from the cupboard (AKA a souvenir from Dubai he had picked up long ago) that she had adopted as her own, drinking out of it every time she would spend the night, almost like clockwork. He waited for his coffee beans to brew, scratching his stubble along his jaw. He flinched, though, when he felt two arms wrap around his middle. He quickly relaxed into the embrace upon realization of who the supposed assailant was, her head finding its way to rest on his bare shoulder.
“You scared me, there.” Mitch muttered, his larger hand inching towards her’s on his waist. He closed his eyes in content and she hummed in acknowledgment. Mitch allowed her to turn his figure to face her, still residing in her arms, seeing a bright smile plastered across her face.
“Only for a minute though, right?”
She laughed to which he chuckled in response, nodding in false surrender. “You’ve got me there, Y/n/n.” He mused, his eyes lighting up at the sound of the coffee machine beeping. He looked back to her, shrugging.
“I made you coffee, was gonna bring it to you in bed but, y’know.” He gestured to where she had now climbed up to sit on top of his counter, his sweatshirt around her that read “Brown University” across the front in large lettering pooling around her thighs.
“It’s alright, I need to get a move on anyway.” She smiled, hopping down to retrieve the mug, taking the warm ceramic from Mitch’s hands and sighing at the wondrous feeling that had spread through her whole body. She lifted it to her lips and drank, not surprised that her boyfriend had made it just the way she liked, to perfection. 
“Thank you, baby.” She commented, reaching up to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. Her lip curled as she pulled away, Mitch already knowing what she was going to say, a laugh bubbling up in his throat.
“Mitch! Go brush your teeth, for the love of God!” She whined, watching as he scampered off towards the bathroom, snickering all the way. She rolled her eyes, downing the rest of her beverage before following where Mitch had gone.
Once in the bathroom after rinsing her and Mitch’s mugs, she tied her hair up, undressing and turning on the water (practically scalding hot, of course). Mitch had no objections to the temperature, though, seeing as it was his last time showering with her in that apartment, and in that apartment, period. 
The whole thing felt very symbolic to Y/n, at least, seeing it as washing themselves clean for the next phase of their lives together, a sort of preparation. (Maybe not so much for Mitch, who really was just pleased for any excuse to see his girlfriend naked.)
They used generous amounts of soap, as not only were most of them nearly empty (in fact, a few were and if it weren’t for Y/n, they probably all would be), but also that they had decided to simply just buy new toiletries as a whole for their new place.
They giggled at the sight of each other, all lathered in bubbles and suds. Mitch reached a finger forward, wiping it from above her eyebrows and preventing it from falling into her eyes. Y/n brought her arms around his neck, her lips connecting with his. “Much better.” She regarded with a smirk, before leaning back in.
Nearly 40 minutes later, they both emerged from the shower, fresh faced and ready for the day ahead. He didn’t have a lot that needed to be packed up, given that his place came fully furnished, so it took all but 2 hours and 5 boxes to pack up Mitch Rapp’s life. It honestly might have taken even longer than originally would have been needed, as Y/n would stop every time she found something interesting, allowing Mitch to tell her all about whatever stories had been connected to the item.
It had started with the ridiculous bird lamp that sat on his bedside table, once belonging to Mr. Nazir, and ended with his lacrosse stick. (And, a promise that one day, he’d show her how to play. He swore he’d never seen her smile that big.)
They also threw away and donated a lot, some of Kat’s old stuff bringing a pained smile to his face as he would place it in a box simply labeled “Kat” in messy, thick letters. He wasn’t sure if the box would end up in his new closet, covered in dust and unopened, or back with her family. But either way, he wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to her completely, which Y/n was able to understand.
“Mitch? Did you pack away your coats already?” Y/n called out, opening up the closet near the front door. Her breath slightly hitched in her throat upon seeing all of the photos of Mansur, still pasted to the painted wood, the edges curling up. 
“Nah, not yet, I was gonna handle that while you worked on the cupboards” He responded, busying himself with a text from Irene on his phone wishing him good luck. He looked up and saw what she had been asking about, his phone quickly sliding into his pocket as he made his way over to where she stood, visibly distressed. 
“How long have these been here?” She questioned, feeling Mitch’s arms wrap around her shoulders. She brought her hands up to grasp onto his wrists, leaning backwards into him and biting into her lip.
“Since the beach, when I decided to go after Mansur. When everything happened with the CIA, it was kind of a whirlwind, I didn’t really have enough time to even think about taking it down when I was only even here for hours at a time.” He lightly chuckled, watching as she stepped forward and began to take the pictures down, crumbling them up in her hands. 
She ran her fingertips over the indents left in the door, feeling the splinters against them. She turned back to Mitch, quipping how “Mr. Nazir won’t be too pleased about that.” 
He smiled, joining her in taking all of the images down, ripping them or balling them up in his fists. All of them ended up in one of the old Target bags they had been using for trash, filling up an entire bag (minus a few Dunkin cups sitting at the bottom).
Mitch trailed a few tender kisses down the left side of her next, and though it sounds cheesy, a feeling of hopefulness flooded himself out of most of the bitterness that had been stuck inside for so long. 
She turned her head to catch his lips with her own, and smiled into the kiss, her hand finding the back of his head. She lightly tugged on the chocolate colored strands and he groaned in content, to which her grin only widened. She pulled back, ruffling the top of his head before beginning to pack away the remnants of what was left in the closet. He rolled his eyes, following suit.
They had piled all of the boxes into the back of Mitch’s old decommissioned CIA vehicle (which was obvious that is was such, given that the side was littered with bullet holes and metallic scratches), returned the key to Mr. Nazir (who was glad to see Mitch go), and with that, they were off.
The new place wasn’t too far away, the pair taking a page out of Stan’s book and opting for a wonderful sense of privacy. It was nestled in a rural corner of Massachusetts, where Mitch would be able to come home to a sense of serenity. Y/n had already moved in her possessions, Mitch’s items being the last step. They’d also furnished the cozy cabin, trips to IKEA and Urban Outfitters (along with several other over-priced boutiques) making the place feel like a perfect fit for the couple.
Mitch’s strange and varied knick knacks made the house feel like a home, his lacrosse stick finding a new home by the front door, right under a hanging potted plant that Y/n and Mitch had decided to affectionately name “Charles” after a drunken night watching the X-Men movies. The house was littered in plants such as Charles, in fact, with Mitch’s first response to seeing all of them being “Wow, looks like a greenhouse in here.”
(Still, he’d grown to love the plant babies. Trust me.)
Two tired smiles made their ways to their faces as they both sat on their new sofa, admiring a job well done. Though several boxes still lay on the hardwood, unopened, they felt accomplished enough to pull out a bottle of wine that they had been saving for the occasion. It was an early housewarming gift from Stan, to which they were unprepared to take advantage of, it seemed.
“Baby, did we unpack the wine glasses earlier?” Mitch questioned, his mind slightly foggy of the day's events and early start.
“No, I think they’re still packed up.” She replied, to which Mitch’s eyes lit up, an idea forming and an imaginary lightbulb popping up over his head. He got up from his seat, a wide smile spreading across his face. Her expression mirrored his own, with an added quirked brow at his antics.
“I’ve got a solution, wait here.” Mitch responded, padding over to where he had remembered the new home of the mugs to be. Upon realization of what he was doing, Y/n smiled, rolling her eyes and bringing a hand up to run through her roots.
He shuffled back over moments later, his girlfriend recognizing one of the mugs in his hands as her favorite. He sat down next to her, with the bare skin of her thighs touching his own, jean clad. He bumped his knee to hers with a giggle, pouring out the Pinot Grigio into the mugs. 
She gratefully accepted it as it was handed to her, smiling as she took a sip. Mitch did the same, the two of them leaning back into the soft sofa. Y/n brought her legs up, cuddling into his side and absorbing his warmth. He brought his free hand to her side, a strong hold giving them both a strong sense of comfort as she lay her head on his shoulder.
The box labeled “Kat” remained unpacked along with the others on the floor, dust already beginning to gather. Mitch had come across it a few times that day, each time more thoughtful than the last as he struggled to decide what it was exactly he was feeling towards the objects; or perhaps towards the memory of Katrina.
He had come to realize that it was acceptance he felt, deep in his stomach, settling down. It had been brought upon him in totality over time, today’s events being the final step. A soft smile spread across Mitch’s face, a single tear falling from his eye. Y/n looked up, eyebrows furrowed with worry.
“Mitch, are you alright?”
He leaned down, connecting their lips in a watery yet nectarous kiss, his hand beginning to rub small circles on her shoulder. 
“Yeah, Y/n/n.” 
The fire they had built earlier was roaring, now, casting a warm glow across the pair’s features. The damp trail down his cheek was highlighted, nearly glistening on his skin like an amber. 
“I’m doin’ just fine.”
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ok btw ik that wine in mugs would be a horrible idea but this is fiction so SHUSH
anyway i hope yall enjoyed! i love writing for mitch and i have lots of future fics for him, so if u liked this, please reblog and follow if ya wanna. mwah, go drink water and have some protein <333
 xx hj
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Pride and Prejudice (Shadamy AU) Chapter two.
Hello, I’m back! For those who want to read part one it is here. 
Disclaimer: Again, English is not my first language so mistakes will happen. Bear with me. In this chapter new characters will be introduced and some of them will be kinda OCC. But this is an AU so... Well is expected somehow I guess. 
Again, thank you so much for reading it. It`s my first fanfic after a very long time, and seeing the reblogs, hearts and comments is really nice. This chapter is going be longer than the previous one so let`s go!
The day of the ball finally arrived. The ballroom was perfection itself and the food looked tasty and the smell agreed with the looks. Amy, being a baker herself, soon was looking at the dessert table. It had all types of pastries, and she made some mental notes to try to do some of the stuff in her own shop. However, before she could see the whole table, Cream grabbed her arm.
“Look Amy!” The teen Rabbit said loudly “Look at the dance!”
Amy looked in the direction that Cream was pointing and she marveled at the view. The music was very lively and the people were dancing with so much joy that she couldn’t wait to dance herself. 
“I hope Sonic is here” She thought “I will ask him to dance with me!”
And soon her wish, at least half of it, was answered.
Sonic, Tails, Shadow and Knuckles entered together with some lady Amy didn’t recognize. The lady was very pretty and Amy looked at Vanilla to ask for answers. 
“She is Princess Sally from Acorn. Looks like Sonic helped her kingdom from some attack and she has been keeping the group company ever since.”
Amy nodded, understanding the situation, feeling a bit insecure with herself. Yes, she looked amazing with her new dress, and her make up and hairstyle were far from bad. But the new girl was a hero and princess! And she was what? Some baker from a small town.
“Nope.” She rationalized “Maybe she is a princess but that doesn't mean that Sonic loves her. They could be simply friends and she could be in love with Knuckles.”
Once the group was settled at a table, Amy grabbed the arms of her two friends and went there. 
“Hello!” She waved once she saw their eyes on the group “Long time no see right?”
“Amy!” Tails was the first one to acknowledge her, standing up and hugging his old friend.”Long time no see indeed!”
Soon the others said hello to the girls, Knuckles standing up to hug them, like Tails, Sonic and Sally grabbing their hands and Shadow just nodding with his head, what Amy thought was pretty rude. 
“Sit down girls!” Tails grabbed some chairs that weren’t being used. “We have so much to talk about!”
Amy smiled at her little friend and she couldn’t help but notice he was giving some glances at her young friend, which didn’t surprise her at all. Cream always has been a cute child, and now that she was in the last years of teenage hood, like Tails, she was quite a beauty.
“Well, nothing much.” Vanilla started. “At least nothing as exciting as you guys were probably doing.”
They laughed. 
“Well saving the world is pretty exciting and all but I always have preferred the quiet. You don’t know how happy I’m that I can be here again” Tails smiled, and Knuckles agreed, saying how happy he is to be in the same place that the Master Emerald was.
“By the way, thanks Ames.” Knuckles smiled “For keeping an eye on it. Since Eggman was gone no one tried anything with it, but you never know.”
“No problem. The Island is a very quiet place, perfect for reading my books!”
“You were the one taking care of the Emerald?” Sonic asked, surprised by the convo.
“Yes?” She smiled “I know it has been some time since we saw each other, but I’m sure you remember that I’m very good at destroying things with my hammer.” 
“A hammer?” Princess Sally seemed interested in it. “Can you show me?”
“Maybe later,” Amy laughed. “It is pretty big and heavy, not very appropriate for a ballroom.”
She nodded sadly.
“Do you know what is appropriate for a ballroom?” She said, a bit nervous but excited at the same time “Dancing!”
At the word “dancing” being said, Tails stood up quickly. All the eyes on the table were on him at the moment, and blushing he looked at Cream.
“Well… If you want to… I mean…” He breathed in “Would you like to dance with me?”
This time Cream was the one blushing. After she saw her mom giving an approved look, she accepted. 
Amy was so amazed by it that, once she looked at Sonic with hopeful eyes, she saw him and Sally together. 
“I…” He grabbed his neck with his free hand “Sally and I are going to dance now. Bye Ames.”
She simply nodded and saw them leave, feeling sad yes, but not so sad as she thought she would be. 
‘I’m very sorry Amy.” Knuckles was the next to speak to her “I know you probably want to dance, knowing you.” He gave her an apologetic look.”But I promised to solve an issue with someone here today and I guess I will do it now or I will forget.” He then continued looking very seriously at her “But I promise I will dance with you later, if you want of course.”
“Of course I would dance with you Knuckles, you are practically siblings, aren’t we?”
He gave a thumbs up and left. 
Then on the table was only her, Vanilla and Shadow. Soon, without saying a word, Shadow stood up and went god knows where.
“Are you really okay?” After some minutes, Vanilla was the one who broke the silence.
“Yes, indeed I’m.” She lied. “I guess I will grab something to drink.”
Standing up, she went to look at the food table. She was not fine. She was looking pretty and she really wanted to dance, dance with Sonic more specifically and now..
“He is dancing with a pretty princess, giving all his smiles to her and I’m here, with a loser's face.” She grabbed a glass of champagne and continued thinking “I guess he will never look at me, will he? I have loved him since I was a kid. What could I do to make him like me and not other girls?”
Her line of thought stopped once she saw Shadow in a corner, with a plate of pastries in hand and looking displeased with the scene in front of him.
“Should I talk to him? He doesn’t look very friendly” She pondered “But he is a hero and I remember he was nice to me because I made him remember something important… Well better than standing by myself.”
Having decided what to do, she waves at him and then stood next to him. 
“Hello.”
He didn’t answer, instead he ate a cannoli.
“Cannolis are amazing.” She tried again. “I remember when I was a kid I struggled a bit with them, but now they are the best selling item in my bakery.”  
He still didn’t answer her.
She decided to try one more time. Looking at the couples in the ballroom, she continued.  
“Do you like dancing?”
“Not if I can help it.” Was his short answer. “Now if you could excuse me.” And he left.
Amy was left astonished.
“What a rude guy!” 
She then went to Vanilla, found her older friend in the balcony this time, telling her what happened. 
“Can you believe it?” She asked, finishing her retelling of the events.
“Maybe he is not in a good mood, Amy.” Vanilla tried to calm Amy down “ Not everyone like balls.”
“If he doesn’t like dances, he shouldn’t be here. As far as I know, no one is pointing guns and obligating people to be here.”
 Before they could continue the conversation, Knuckle's voice was heard.
“Shadow, could you do me a favor please?”
“What?”
“I told Amy I would dance with her, but the issue I have to solve will take some time.” He sighed “ I don’t know why he wants to solve this at the party but I can complain when I left for so long.” He then continued “Tails is dancing with Cream, and he doesn’t seem to want to stop it. Sonic is with Sally and I doubt he will want to dance with Amy… Could you please ask her for a dance?”
“Me?” 
“Yes, why not? In Acorn I saw you dance and you are really good at it. And I know Ames, she really wants to dance.” 
“Why should I give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men? You had better leave me and solve your problem, because no matter how much you ask, I will not dance with her.”
“If this wasn’t a formal party I would punch you for talking about Amy like that.” Knuckles said, a little angry “But is your loss. Amy is a really nice girl.”
After that nothing else was heard and Amy felt her blood boil. Vanilla, noticing it, put her hands on her shoulder.
“Ames keep calm.” She said softly “I agree with you now - He is pretty rude. But hitting him will not solve anything.”
“Yes, indeed.” Amy agreed after some minutes. “Not only will people talk badly about me, but Sonic’s opinion will not improve if I show I still have a temper, especially now with that proper Princess around.” She took a deep breath “ But I tell you Vanilla, I will never ever dance with that guy, even if it is a life or death matter. I detest him now!”
Chapter One
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losing love | c.h.
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✦ ✦ ✦
Morning comes with the shadows of dreams lingering in Calum’s mind. A demure silhouette slinks through his waning memory of the night. Sunlight pools in from the open curtains and cuts across the wooden floor in turrets of gold. He’s bleary. Mind working in overtime to put all of the scattered pieces of the previous night back together. There’s only one thing that invades him and that he’s certain of. Everest.
He remembers it in rewind, all of the flashes of her playing backwards in hazy pictures. He remembers her doorstep, the ivy that climbed the stones and the halos of light that pooled in her dark eyes. Headlights blur past his vision, the beams cutting from his car as they sat on the hood and ate fast food, drank milkshakes and she wore his jacket over her shoulders. The party comes back to him, only in the sense of leaving with her. The downcast and forlorn gazes she gave him across the room, the broken syllables she uttered and the pain she tried to hide.
Calum groans, turns himself to his side and wards off the want to bury his head under his pillow and let himself succumb to the feeling crawling across his chest. If he had the heart to do so, he would’ve cursed her, himself, the situation, the fact that he couldn’t forget. The fact that she was his best friend’s date and somehow they had ended the night with each other.
He only pulls himself from the warm comfort of his bed when a knock on the front door jars him. He’s padding down the hallway when he hears the unceremonious squeak of the hinges and feels his heart pick up. Only one person has a key.
Ashton’s taken up a home in the kitchen, hands placed on the marble countertop and eyes patient as they find Calum breaking around the corner. Calum stops suddenly, just the sight of his best friend bringing to stir too many thoughts through his tired mind.
“I saw you leaving with Everest last night,” Ashton says, the words a whip that crack through the air and bring a pain behind Calum’s eyes. He stays quiet save for the painful thud of his racing heart. “She made it home okay?”
Calum nods, wary of where the situation is headed. Nothing happened, he reminds himself. He kept her warm, got her food, brought her home and made sure she made it inside okay. Nothing happened.
The only problem is, he wished something had.
“Yeah, walked her to the door and made sure she got in okay,” Calum says in a rush and finally finishes his way into the kitchen to drop himself onto a barstool.
“Thanks, mate,” Ashton says, the sincerity a little too much to take in at such an early morning hour. “I was hoping you’d swoop in and save me somehow.”
Calum furrows his brows and tilts his head to the side, unaware that Ashton would have wanted him to be the hero.
“I just… did what I could.”
Calum feels a burn in the back of his throat and bites the tip of his tongue.
Ashton lets out a small breath and shakes his head, curls bouncing and dropping into his eyes with the motion.
“I thought I wanted you to get me away but I’m glad you took care of Everest. I think I really needed the closure, and so did she. Horrible timing, but a good outcome?” The hope in Ashton’s voice is palpable, his gaze skirts to the countertop where he drums his fingers in a nervous habit coming to life. “Did Everest seem upset? I tried calling this morning but she hasn’t answered.”
Calum feels a coil of tension wrap through him. He shakes his head uncertainly, trying hard to remember her demeanor about Ashton when they first left. It’s all replaced with moonlit eyes and the smell of honey coming off her hair.
“Maybe a little,” he offers with a small shrug.
Calum’s arms cross over his chest where heat pools on his skin, simmers under the surface and aches with a burning echo from his chest to the pit of his stomach. Ashton nods and blows out a bigger, deeper breath.
“I know it didn’t look good,” Ashton begins and runs a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have let it go on so long. But it made me realize how ready I am to move on, with Everest. I think she’s good for me.”
Calum swallows past a lump in his throat and lets Ashton continue on his spiel of self discovery, of all the things he’s learned about himself since his breakup and meeting Everest. He goes deep and pulls back, dives further and relents. He ends it with the hope that she’ll give him a second chance to prove himself.
“She’s pretty fond of chances,” Calum mumbles and brushes off the confused look Ashton gives him. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. She seems nice, understanding.”
“She is,” Ashton says enthusiastically, heart on his sleeve and hope in his eyes. He rambles about her and the possibilities of what a second chance might mean.
“Maybe you should take it slow,” Calum warns before he can think through the foreboding words. He flinches at his own stupidity, face scrunching up as he wishes he could take it back. “It’s just—you’re just coming out of a relationship, she’s just gotten into the city. You’ve only been on what, four dates?”
“Three,” Ashton says around a growing frown. “Slow and steady is better for the long term, right?”
“Sure.” Calum gives a noncommittal shrug.
He’s the last person to be giving Ashton love advice. All of his relationships ended in flames and destruction. And now there is a heat that lives under his skin for the woman he speaks of.
“I think I’ll text her, see if she’s okay, see where she stands with me. No pressure.”
Calum nods. Curls his hands into fists and bids Ashton goodbye as he darts for the door with renewed hope but realistic expectations. Calum follows him to the door and runs his hands over the oak as it closes. He sucks in a deep breath and wills his hands to stop shaking and heart to stop racing. Guilt coils so thoroughly through him he has to remind himself he’s done nothing wrong. It’s only fleeting feelings encouraged by a lurid night that meant nothing to her, and should mean nothing to him.
He’s not sure how long he stands there processing it all; sifting through the moments and trying to forget them, trying to convince himself that all he needs is a little distance from her. All she needs is a little time with Ashton. Then everything will fall back into place. He pushes away from the door and barely makes it to the kitchen counter before he’s called back.
A slight tap sounds from the other side of the door, Calum nearly jumping out of his skin at the sudden noise. It’s soft and rhythmic; taptaptap, taptaptap. He spins himself around on his heel, braces himself for just a moment with his hand on the cool doorknob. He’s not expecting anyone but Ashton’s already made an appearance and disturbed his morning. He slowly opens the door and feels as if he’s taken away with the breeze that sweeps across his skin, feels that the fire comes back to life and wavers in the wind.
Everest stands on his porch, his leather jacket folded across her arms with her gaze cut down to the wooden beams of the floor. She’s poised, stood with grace and her toes turned into each other. She looks up as Calum lets out a breath and grabs a hold of the doorframe to keep himself steady against the wind and the fire warring within him.
“I forgot to give this back last night,” she says with a tiny smile.
She offers over the jacket and Calum is sad to see it leave her grip as he takes it back. But the scent of honey comes in a collision to his senses, spins his world off kilter and ripples guilt all over him. For a moment he realizes that Ashton’s not too far gone; he could be here for her in only a few minutes. He contemplates telling her that he already stopped by and asked about her, worried over the prospect of her getting home safe, confided in him about getting closure and finding happiness and something good with her.
“Do you wanna come in?” he asks instead, the words hot and narrow, closing off the possibility that he might find some distance from her. “I was just about to make some coffee.”
“I don’t like coffee,” she says, scrunches up her nose and then smiles. “But I’d still like to come in.”
Calum laughs, just a little, at the fake out and moves aside to let her in. She sweeps past him in a lurid and quick movement. She’s sure and confident as she enters his world. It’s all too easy to imagine what might have been, what could be, if there wasn’t a ten ton weight of guilt and pressure crushing his chest.
Calum darts his gaze up the hallway, pictures of Everest moving down the narrow space and towards his bedroom infiltrating his thoughts. He clears his throat, hangs his jacket up and takes a big breath in, thankful for the sweetness in his lungs.
“Can I get you anything else?” he questions as he turns and lists off a few of the things he thinks might be within his means. Water. Juice. Hot chocolate. Stale bread, expired muffins. She laughs and tosses her soft hair behind her shoulder.
“I’m alright,” she answers, gaze following him as he rounds the island and comes to make a perch on the side towards the kitchen.
He gestures for her to sit on the stool opposite him then plants his elbows on the marble countertop. She bids his offer and takes a seat, midnight eyes glimmering with curiosity as she peers at him. It’s silent for a beat. Cheeks warm and thoughts waver. Calum purses his lips and taps his fingers on the counter.
“I also wanted to say something to you.” She shifts on the stool, brings her hands up and folds her fingers together. Her gaze doesn’t waver and Calum finds that he doesn’t mind the way she keeps him with her, and finds that he quite likes the feeling of being kept by her so fully. “Thank you.”
Calum tilts his head to the side, unable to understand the gratitude. “For?” he asks, shakes his head and furrows his eyebrows.
“Last night. Bringing me home,” she says and shrugs then shakes her head and back peddles, “for cheering me up and then bringing me home.” She stresses cheering me up with such sincerity in her voice and eyes it nearly knocks Calum off balance. She has a sway in her voice, a way of intoning anything and everything that’s important to her.
“It was nothing.”
Yet, it meant more than it should have to him.
“No, it meant a lot to me.”
Calum’s heart races wildly at the admission. He feels a little faint, cuts his gaze down to the swirling marble and sees that it’s moving through his vision. He’s trying to swim and keep afloat in her honesty but he feels more as if he’s sinking. Sinking and drowning as he looks back up and gets lost in the dark.
“I just did what I could,” Calum says for the second time that morning. He remembers Ashton’s gratitude and the explanation for why it was even needed in the first place. Heat cuts through him. He sighs. “I knew Ashton wouldn’t want you to be upset. He’d want you home safe, too.”
Everest nods, even and unflinching at the mention of Ashton. She doesn’t say anything for a moment. No emotion crosses her face. She’s stoic and calm, eyes as clear as a midnight summer sky.
“He’s a good guy.” She abandons her stool and stands, leans a bit over the counter and puts a hand on top of Calum’s. “But I don’t want to be his rebound.”
Calum’s breath catches in the back of his throat. He chokes it down and fights the urge to envelop her hand in his. He stays still, scared that the moment is so fragile it might shatter if he dares to move. Scared that it might become something even more.
“He said he got closure last night. It made him realize he wants you.”
He doesn’t know where the unbridled honesty is coming from, not when all of the thoughts in his mind are shouting into the emptiness of reckless abandon. He wants to leave Ashton’s name to the wind. To take her hand and close the distance between them. To find out if she tastes like honey too.
Everest pulls her hand away and shakes her head just a bit. “I didn’t know he was so unsure all this time. I didn’t know I was just an option until last night.”
Cold kisses Calum’s skin where her touch abandoned him.
“You’re the one he chose,” Calum reminds and wants to hit himself, bite his tongue, somehow stop the words from pouring out of him.
His loyalty runs deep, his need to defend his best friend heightens with each passing moment but he feels as if all of the stone walls he’s put up at the battlements are starting to crumble. Everest is able to strike through them, to create gaps in the stones and peer through to the other side. She sees the things that Calum would rather keep hidden.
“I don’t want to be a choice. I just want to be… the one, with the right one. I don’t know if that’s Ashton,” she says, voice cracking and gaze finally dropping from his. For all of the cool and calm she once possessed she begins to break, hand trembling and lip jutting out in thought. “I’m sorry, we probably shouldn’t even be talking about this. You’re his best friend. I can’t put this on you.”
“It’s okay,” Calum quickly reassures and wants to reach out to her but keeps his hands strictly to himself. He lets out a breath that makes his chest ache. “You deserve to be the one. But maybe Ashton also deserves a second chance to prove that you are. You’ll never know unless you give him another chance..”
Pain strikes hot and white through Calum, like a crack of lightning lashing against his darkened being. He shuts his eyes for a split second, feeling the sway of the world rocking around him. He brings his hands to his chest without thinking, rubs at his ribs and tries to convince himself the ache he feels is nothing.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” Everest mumbles. She nods to herself for a moment, quiet and thoughtful, Calum eternally grateful that he has a moment to recollect himself. “He called me this morning. I should probably call him back. Hear him out.”
“If you want to,” Calum says and realizes how scattered he is with her.
He defends Ashton, pushes her towards forgiving him, then relents and reels her back just a bit. He can’t shake it, he can’t ward off the words that roll from his tongue before his mind can process them. He needs air, he needs that distance he decided on this morning. He needs honey to drift away in the wind and midnight eyes to vanish into the day.
He gets his wish as she leaves him, takes all of the sweetness from his lungs and the darkness from his gaze. Bids him goodbye with another chaste and aching kiss to his cheek. She leaves only the lingering curiosity of what the phone call might entail and the ache he still rubs at in his chest.  He tries to catch his breath as he shuts the door and glides to the window to watch her walk away. His hand grips the leather jacket she gave back to him as she dips down into her car. All he can see is her in the passenger seat with the leather draped over her shoulders. All he can feel is the brush of her lips igniting sparks against his cheek. Guilt swallowing him whole. Emotions stifled. Two hallowed hearts ignored.
✦ ✦ ✦
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Text
popcorn & pronouns
Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Janus, Remus, Roman Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Dukeceit, Creativitwins  Warnings: Not much to warn for in this one. Language, a little bit of suggestiveness, vague non-detailed descriptions of a horror movie.  Word count: 3402
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My writing masterpost
Starlight Universe masterpost
Dukeceit Week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost
Summary: A movie night date leads to an important conversation. Already being t4t makes it a lot easier. Or, in Remus's own words, “This is just, like, going to be a week of people coming out to me, I guess. Huh.”
Notes: Day 6 of Dukeceit Week 2021! Almost there! @dukeceitweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, where each piece can be read without any context. Takes place 9 months after college; at the start of the story, Janus uses only they/them pronouns. 
-- 
“Ooh, popcorn! Can I have some?” Roman popped his head into the kitchen of the apartment he, Remus, and Logan had shared in the nine or so months since they had all graduated college.
“No, Jan and I are having a date in twenty minutes,” Remus said, waving Roman off without looking away from the air popper.
“Okay, I don’t see how that’s relevant to my question.” Roman pushed himself to sit on the counter by the sink. “I mean, that’s really cute, I hope you have fun. But can I have some popcorn?”
Remus rolled his eyes. “Make your own when I’m done.”
“But you make it better!” Roman pouted overdramatically.
Remus raised an eyebrow. “All I do is plug in the machine?”
“Right, which is better than me doing it.” Roman grinned at them. “Less work for me.”
“Hey!” Remus swatted his arm. “The transphobia, honestly—”
“Well, if you making it for me is transphobic to you, then you not making it for me is—” Roman broke off quite suddenly, his expression undergoing several shifts very fast that Remus could not make sense of. Which was… unusual, to say the least. Roman was normally the one person they could always count on understanding. They didn’t like this new development one bit.
“Ro?”
“Iiiiiit’s… queerphobic to me,” Roman said at last, a worried pinch to his eyebrows. He laughed, and it almost didn’t sound forced. “So we’re at a tie, so you should just make me popcorn.”
“First of all, I’m queer too, make your own damn popcorn. Second—” Remus turned away from the popcorn machine and gave Roman his full attention, leaning back against the kitchen island and tilting his head to the side. “Do you wanna talk about whatever the fuck that was?” So far as Remus knew, Roman was bi; that was the label he’d been using for years and years, so long that it practically felt like forever. Since almost the very beginning of high school. Since before Remus had questioned their gender, even. Only last week, he’d called the light switch biphobic without hesitation when it broke.
Whatever had happened to make him so very deliberately not call himself bi just now, it was new.
Roman’s expression closed up very fast indeed, but not before Remus caught a flash of something he was almost certain was fear. “No.”
“You know it’s okay to question, right?” Remus inquired awkwardly. “No matter what specifically, and no matter what the outcome is? Yeah?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You know I’d still love you no matter what, right? Even if you were, like, a straight man—like, I would make so many jokes about not agreeing with your lifestyle, but—Ro, you know everything is always gonna be okay, right?”
Roman glared at him. “Remus, I don’t want to talk about it.” He wrinkled his nose. “And I’m definitely not straight.”
Remus blinked and raised their hands. “Alright. I didn’t mean literally straight, I just meant—you could be literally whatever, and it would be cool. That was—like—the most extreme example I could think of, you know?”
Roman let out a slight huff of laughter. “Thanks,” he said reluctantly after a pause. “It’s nothing, though.”
“Bullshit,” Remus said immediately.
“It—” Roman swallowed. “I need it to be nothing, okay?”
“If anyone’s making you feel shitty, I’ll beat them up,” Remus said immediately. “Even if it’s Patton. Just drop the names. I’ll do it. I’ll—”
“Remus, it’s fine. I want to stop fucking talking about it now!” Roman snapped.
Remus hesitated, fumbling for what to do or say next, everything about the conversation feeling just a little wrong and sideways.
Roman sighed. “Sorry.” He pushed off the counter, went to the fridge, and stared into it for a solid thirty seconds, then took a cheese stick out of the door. “I’ll make my own popcorn later,” he mumbled and retreated back to his room.
“Damn, alright,” Remus said to the empty room. “Be like that, I guess.” They flung their hands into the air and went to get the butter they’d been melting in the microwave before Roman’s appearance.
Roman would talk to them about it, whatever it was, eventually. He always did. And whatever was bugging him, Remus would figure out a way to bug it back until it stopped and Roman was all happy and bubbly again. Because that was what Remus always did. It would be fine. It was just a waiting game.
Remus sighed. He always hated waiting.
***
“Mmkay,” Remus said, when Janus had arrived, and they had worked together to move the TV out of the living room and into Remus’s room, and they had settled in on Remus’s bed—Remus sitting up against the headboard and Janus half-laying in Remus’s lap with their long thin legs stretched out along the bed and their head on his chest—and the popcorn had been set beside them where they could both reach it, and the blanket nest had been fluffed once more. “What shall we watch?”
Janus was silent for a long moment. Actually, come to think of it, they had been quiet since they’d arrived at the apartment—even more quiet than usual. But Remus was almost certain they weren’t nonverbal, seeing as they had exchanged a few fond words with him. It just hadn’t been very many words.
“Janny, baby?” Remus leaned forward, over their shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of their face.
Janus had their fingers knotted in the blanket that was spread over their lap, fidgeting with it anxiously, a thinking-hard expression on their face.
“Baby?” Remus curled one hand lightly around theirs. “You good?”
“Choices are too hard right now,” Janus said at last.
“Okay, that’s okay. Do you know what you need?”
“I want to watch a movie.” Janus frowned. “I just can’t choose.”
“Gotcha. No problem.” Remus pressed a kiss to their cheek. “I’m really good at choosing.” He threaded his fingers through Janus’s long hair, scratching soothingly at their scalp in just the way he knew they liked, and pulled up the library of movies, switching from Roman’s profile to his own.
“How’s some really cheesy horrible horror film we can make fun of sound?” he asked, scrolling with the remote and still playing with Janus’s hair with his other hand. “I know we have a bunch of those, I loved ’em when we were kids and I think they’re funny.”
“That sounds fine.” Janus nodded and relaxed a little further against Remus.
“Good.” He kissed the top of their head. “Do you need anything else?”
Janus shook their head. “I’ve just been kind of stressed lately. Work’s been shit, and all that. It’s fine. I just want to cuddle and things.”
“Ooh, ‘and things,’ I like the sound of that,” Remus teased, sliding his hand gently to their chin and drawing them to twist around far enough that he could kiss them soft and slow.
“I didn’t say what kinds of things,” Janus said innocently, their eyes still closed and so close to Remus that their lips brushed against his as they spoke. “Perhaps I could be persuaded later.”
“I’ll be sure to prepare my best arguments,” Remus said, leaning slightly up to kiss their forehead and then back down to their lips for another lazy kiss, taking his time and exploring Janus’s mouth until they sighed and melted against him.
“A compelling preview,” they murmured, their eyes still closed and the slightest smile curling at their lips.
Remus meant to make some kind of witty quip in return, really he did, but all that came out of his mouth was a quiet, awed, “Holy fuck, you’re so beautiful, Jan.”
Janus’s eyes opened and met his for a moment, soft and vulnerable, before they turned and hid their face in his neck. “Love you,” they whispered against his skin.
“Mm, I love you too,” Remus said happily, wrapping his arms securely around Janus and kissing the top of their head. “Love your pretty eyes and skin and hair and body, love how clever you are, love your scary goth clothes, love your snark, love your stims, love you—”
Janus whined wordlessly into his neck, pressing kisses to it and fisting their hands in the front of his shirt.
Remus chuckled, taking a handful of their hair and gently tugging until they looked up at him once more. “Do you want to watch a movie at all, or do you just wanna make out? Cause I’d be good with either, but if you wanna do a movie, we should get on that before we’re too distracted.”
“Oh.” Janus leaned their head back a little until it was resting against Remus’s hand. “Not that I don’t want to make out, but—”
“Nah, I gotcha. Gotta at least get through the popcorn, am I right?” Remus cast about for the remote, lost in the blanket pile, as Janus shifted about until they faced the television again.
“There it is!” Remus snatched the remote up, clicking through the library on the television until he saw the particular film he was thinking of and pulled it up. “This look good?”
“‘When moving into their new house, little do our protagonists know it is haunted by a demonic serial killer. Will they get out in time? Or will they be his next victims?’” Janus read the summary aloud. “Sounds absolutely thrilling. Extremely original. Love the bad Photoshop on the cover. I’m sure the acting will be of the highest quality.”
“Oh, yeah, it’s so shitty, I love it. So many cheesy effects and fake blood, it’s the actual stupidest shit,” Remus assured them. “I love it, though. Went as the demon thing for Halloween when I was nine. Nobody fucking knew what I was, but I had the time of my life. And got fake blood on Roman when he wasn’t looking. It was great.”
Janus chuckled, reaching up to brush their fingertips against Remus’s cheek. “Well, with such a glowing review from someone so attractive, how can I resist?” they said fondly.
“That’s the spirit!” Remus hit play.
Remus had watched this particular movie more times than they could count over the course of their childhood. He peppered commentary throughout the film:
“This is my favorite part, if you pay attention you can see her real fingertips holding onto the fake hand she’s about to get chopped off!”
“There’s a jumpscare in this scene, I know you hate those—okay, hit the skip-ten-seconds button in three, two, there. Perfect. Dumbass demon movie can’t even trust itself to be creepy without cheap scares.”
“Look, I know the mom is supposed to have some kind of hot blonde thing going on for the horny straight men in the audience, but she’s got nothing on you.”
“For some reason they made a director’s commentary and it actually includes the fake blood recipe they used, I’ll show you sometime!”
Janus, in turn, provided brilliant, extremely snarky roasts, mostly of either the actors’ absolute lack of skill or the gaping plot holes:
“Oh, yes, going alone to the attic at midnight without so much as a candle is a fantastic idea, nothing bad could possibly happen in this scene.”
“Listen, I can excuse the children because they’re about eight years old, but do you think this man has ever even heard of acting? Or even, like, speaking in a non-monotone?”
“I am truly fascinated by the special effects department’s understanding of human anatomy.”
“So, the demon feeds on misery? Why hasn’t it taken up residence in a large office building? I mean, come on, hundreds of souls in an environment designed to grind out constant levels of misery? It’s perfect. The poor thing must be starving out here in the two-point-five-kids-and-a-dog suburbs, every meal it gets is tiny. I would be so much better at its job than it is.”
At last the credits rolled.
“Wanna see pictures of the costume I made?” Remus asked.
“Sure.” Janus sounded amused.
“Lemme just—” Remus scrolled through their camera roll for a minute. “Oh, here they are.” They displayed their phone to Janus; tiny nine-year-old Remus, who sported long tangled brown hair in two ponytails, was draped in a black curtain, donated by his great-aunt, that he had very enthusiastically taken a pair of scissors to to create a tattered effect; the curtain was splattered with bright red goo, and tiny Remus had a pair of plastic knives in his hands, which were blurry in almost every photo because they’d hardly stopped making stabbing motions all evening. To their right, their little sister Gabby, who’d been six at the time, was dressed as Elastigirl and making a punching motion; to their right, Roman—who had already been a full three inches taller than Remus, even at nine—was wearing a Belle dress with a poofy skirt and a sword strapped around his waist and a huge smile that was missing one front tooth.
Remus swiped through the photos; a delightful scene unfolded, as tiny Remus posed for a few pictures, then in one was blurrily turning towards Roman, then dumping something on him, then Roman was screaming and Remus was laughing as red goo dripped down the poofy yellow skirt; Gabby watched with both hands clapped over her mouth, eyes huge.
“You two really have not changed at all, have you?” Janus asked, stifling laughter.
“Absolutely not,” Remus agreed with an answering laugh. “I think the most that either of us ever changed was when I chopped off all that hair and dyed it green.”
“When was that?” Janus asked.
“Sophomore year of high school. I did not have permission to chop it all off, but I did get permission to dye it afterwards, so that was pretty sick.”
“And that didn’t go against dress code?” Janus inquired.
“No, actually. Not sure how. But I bet my parents would’ve kicked up a big stink about it if the school tried and made me change it; they were always super big on self expression and shit.” Remus gestured towards the picture, indicating tiny Roman in his princess dress. “We always got to wear whatever we wanted, and shit like that. It was nice. Made gender shit way easier when that became a thing for me, you know?”
“It sounds nice,” Janus said softly. “I’m happy you had that.”
Remus nodded and pressed a kiss to their forehead, reaching for a handful of the popcorn dregs in the bottom of the bowl.
Janus shifted in their arms, rolling over to face Remus and propping themself up on their elbows. “Actually,” they began.
Something on their face told Remus that whatever this new topic of conversation was, it was important. He swallowed the half-chewed popcorn in his mouth. “Yeah, baby?”
“Speaking of gender.” Janus picked at the edge of the blanket.
“I love speaking of that, go on.” Remus tousled Janus’s hair fondly.
Janus took a deep breath, staring at the blanket in their hands. “I want to start using he pronouns again. In addition to my regular ones. Or.” They wrinkled their nose. “My current ones, I guess. So, he/they.”
“That’s great, he/they pronouns are very sexy,” Remus said at once.
Janus laughed, looking up at him at last. “That’s true, you are the sexiest person I know,” he said fondly. A shadow passed over his features. “But,” he went on slowly, chewing on the inside of their lip and picking at the blanket once more.
“Yeah?” Remus encouraged.
“I really don’t like the idea of telling anyone else about that.” Janus grimaced. “I keep worrying I’ll get asked stupid questions about ‘oh, so are you a man again now?’ when—like—no, and I never was one in the first place. So.”
“Oh, that sounds gross,” Remus agreed at once. “I can see why you’d be worried about that.”
Janus nodded. “I just—I don’t want to explain. And I don’t want people to ask questions. And they might. And I just—I don't want any of it. I want to skip to the part where they know and it’s all how I want it to be.”
“That’s reasonable,” Remus agreed. “But, I mean, if they can get me using he/they pronouns and being nonbinary, they had better fucking wrap their minds around the concept of you doing it too. Yeah? Or I’ll make ’em. Violently, if you want.”
Janus snorted. “I appreciate the offer, darling.” They reached up and touched his cheek. “I… don’t know if I want to tell anyone else yet. But I did want to tell you.”
“You got it, cutie.” Remus booped Janus’s nose once. “Just let me know if anything changes. I’ll punch people for you. Anytime. They don’t even have to have done anything. Just point me at them and consider it done.”
Janus did laugh at that, outright, scrunching up his face and burying it in Remus’s chest. “I should not be this into you offering to punch people for me,” he said wryly.
Remus grinned and flipped their hair. “Nah, I think it’s definitely very sexy of me and should absolutely turn you on.”
Janus smacked Remus’s arm. “I did not say that!”
“You implied it.”
“Not… necessarily. That was one possible interpretation—”
“Oh, right, I see, mmhm, very interesting.”
They smacked his arm again. “You’re teasing me.”
“Only a little bit. You’re so pretty when you get all flustered.” Remus bent their head at a somewhat awkward angle to kiss Janus’s lips gently. “Are there any new words you want me to use, by the way?” they asked. “Besides updating pronouns?”
Janus tilted his head to the side, considering. “I think… I still like all the sorts of things you call me already. Pretty, and partner, and—and baby, and so on.”
Remus smirked. “That’s good, I like calling you baby.”
“Oh my god, shut up.” Janus hid their face in their hands.
“Why, baby?” Remus asked innocently.
Janus made a strangled noise, and after a pause carried on. “I do think I wouldn’t mind adding a little bit of… masc terminology? I guess? If that makes sense? Adding that into the mix. Not all the time, and not as much as the things you already call me, but… just a bit would be nice.”
“Gotcha.” Remus nodded. “I can do that. So, like, my baby is very pretty and handsome?”
Janus’s cheeks went bright red in an instant, and he hid his face in Remus’s chest again, letting out a tiny wordless scream. “Yes. That. That—that’s nice,” they managed after a pause, sounding almost entirely composed.
Remus chuckled and ran their fingers through Janus’s hair. “Good to know,” he said teasingly. “I will definitely keep this in mind.”
“Oh my god,” Janus mumbled. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Absolutely, but only in a sexy way of making you happy.” Remus kissed the top of their head. “This is just, like, going to be a week of people coming out to me, I guess,” they mused. “Huh.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, something’s clearly eating at someone else we know, and I think they’re going to tell me about whatever it is within the week. That’s all. It was just funny timing.” Remus kissed the top of Janus’s head again. “So, the movie’s over,” they noted, which, sure, was a blatant and deliberate change of subject, but he felt this was justified, both for avoiding-speculating-about-Roman’s-personal-information purposes and, more importantly, for fun-after-movie-things purposes.
“That it is,” Janus said, a particular innocent tone entering their voice. Excellent, he was of a similar mind to Remus, then.
Remus grinned and drew them up for a kiss. “So, what does the very pretty and handsome and lovely human in my arms want to do now?” he inquired.
Janus made another small, wordless, flustered noise and promptly dragged Remus into another kiss. “You can’t just say things like that!”
“What, about how you’re the loveliest—prettiest—sexiest—” Remus pressed tiny kisses to Janus’s lips with each word, until at last they caught his lips with their own in a proper kiss to shut him up. “Pretty sure I can say it, actually,” Remus murmured against his lips. “Cause it’s true.”
“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Janus said, sounding very pleased indeed, and kissed them again.
--
Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @theimprobabledreamersworld @peruviandesertfox
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sepublic · 3 years
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SEASON 2 OF THE OWL HOUSE!!!
          RUHGISN/LIFNALARNGLIENARE
           Onto business first and foremost! We get twenty-one episodes, an extra one to make up for the rather odd, nineteen-count from the first season! That’s forty episodes in total! Then Season 3…
           OH, Season 3… I love it but it hurts! The Lord giveth and taketh away, it’s confirmed, but it’s only THREE 44-minute specials! By my calculations, that’s about the length of SIX normal episodes… THE OWL HOUSE IS SO DANG POPULAR AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO DISNEY?!?!! First Amphibia’s finale gets screwed over, THEN this?! But at least Amphibia gets its full third season… At least I assumeit does, oh for the love of Titan if it doesn’t…
           It is extremely imperative that we petition Disney to let TOH’s third season be full-length! Because Dana herself admitted that the main reason she left Twitter was to cope with THAT news, and… OH MY GOD POOR DANA you fought SO hard against all odds to give us this show, this previous love-child of your mind and heart and spite, for this!? But it might not be too late- If we assault Disney with our demand, they MIGHT just change their mind! SO GET ON WITH IT! Let the cartoon community rally AGAIN!
           But, right-
           The first half of episodes for Season 2 is going to be TEN episodes, the second half will be eleven! Already better than the first season, but as a reminder, that’s what we’re getting so far before our mid-season hiatus! And on THAT note…
           We have confirmation for the first FIVE episodes, which will begin airing just a mere FOUR WEEKS from now! We have Separate Tides, Escaping Expulsion, Echoes of the Past, Keeping Up A-fear-ances, and Through the Looking Glass Ruins!
           These episode titles spell out “SEEK T”, presumably “Seek t(he)”, so we can already guess the next two episodes after TtLGR! That leaves fourteen more letters for the Season 2 message; The last one was “A witch loses a true way,” so perhaps this season is advising Luz to seek something that will help her get back home? Something that will help her confront and defeat Belos? A little bit of both?
           Separate Tides is the season premiere! Luz is feeling guilty about the loss of Eda’s powers, poor girl, so she’s going to set sail for a lucrative bounty? Interesting… Perhaps a real Bloom of Eternal Youth? Something magical and bile-related? More lore on the nature of magic and its origins???
           Escaping Expulsion… hoo boy, THAT’s what we’ve all been looking forward to! Odalia and Alador get Luz, Willow, and Gus expelled?! No rights for them, even if that was already obvious but WOW. But more importantly, Luz strikes a deal with the two?!? What do Odalia and Alador want from Luz, to get her back into Hexside?!?!
           Dana mentioned how Season 1 had more focus on Hexside at Disney’s request. Given how Season 2 is more her style and freedom, we might see Luz and the others remain expelled from Hexside, if only to detach them from the coven system for the time being as their rebellion grows… And give focus to OTHER things as well! Which is going to suck a LOT and I’m going to hate Odie and Al even more for this, taking away not just Luz’s opportunity but also Willow and Gus’… Especially Willow since they DID follow through on that threat, holy shit, Amity and Willow must be hurt and traumatized from this!
           But what do Odalia and Alador want from Luz? Do they want to use her as leverage against Belos? To use her FOR Belos? I’m suddenly reminded of that idea I had about Odalia and Alador being interested in Luz as like, an actual suitor for Amity… GOD my Lumity heart would actually love it if that were the case! Obviously in the long run it’s bad and for THEIR purposes, but the idea of Luz learning to be more proper for them, for AMITY really… Oh man, this is reminding me of my speculation of Luz and Alador parallels! We might just see what makes Alador so interesting to Dana in this episode, and just the SECOND one of Season 2, no less- Right into the story meat!
           ECHOES OF THE PAST! King lore! KING LORE!!! Even better Luz, Lilith, and… HOOTY… go to a new island?! An island related to King’s past? Is Eda sticking with King to make sure he doesn’t do anything, or god, did King’s antics get her into trouble again? And Hooty… HOOTY is coming with Luz and Lilith???! I’m grateful for Luz and Lilith interaction, we might get to see them talk things over, but how is Hooty…? Is the house coming along?
           Dana mentioned two spoilers and a lie, one of them was Hooty leaving the house! I guess this is one of them… The others were Camila beating someone up and Gus getting a growth spurt, which we’ll get onto later; So I think Camila beating someone up is the lie! Dang it… But a dangerous new island, could this be related to the various pieces of Titan bones mentioned in The Unauthorized History of the Boiling Isles, scattered throughout the boiling seas, all alluding to another incomplete Titan?!
           Are they KING’S REMAINS??! And his bones are incomplete because he still has his SKULL!!!!
           Keeping Up A-fear-ances is pretty obviously Gwendolyn. Screw you, Gwen, and the confirmation that her presence is causing strain for everyone… YIKES. Hopefully we’ll get Young Eda and Lilith backstory, and see how they transitioned from the YBOS flashback to present-day! Perhaps Gwendolyn DID help Eda when she first transformed… Either way, I do not like her. But she’ll be fascinating to see!
           Through the Looking Glass Ruins! As I said before, Gus gets a growth spurt, and he’s trying to impress kids from Glandus… Which YES GLANDUS, more schools lore! But uhh… If they’re at Glandus, is it because they didn’t get back into Hexside after all, and they’re moving to a different school? Luz and Amity are exploring a dangerous library there, which, Lost in Language flashbacks! But why is AMITY there… Oh Titan, does SHE choose to leave Hexside at the end of Escaping Expulsion, as a means of defying her parents’ will, to go with the friends she loves! If so… YEAH AMITY! That, or she’s out on a visit. Will Amity run from home and live with the others, or maybe Willow and her dads? Gus and Perry? Or will she still be at the Blight Manor… Dana wasn’t kidding about Emira and Edric being distracted from Grom!
           Maybe Amity works something out that gets her expelled from Hexside, and Glandus is the new school for her, who knows? Perhaps it’s because of Belos, and so Odalia and Alador are furious, but they want their kid at a school regardless, so Glandus it is! The Hexside Banshees lost their best captain… Not that she was even playing so it doesn’t matter, but still! THIS would be quite a shock and change for Amity! And Luz, Willow, and Gus… Dang, they’re just losing a lot huh?
           If they ARE going to Glandus and enrolling there, then maybe the episode will end in a failure, or maybe they’re pretending to in order to access the library, maybe a library incident will get their enrollment cancelled! I’m interested in seeing Glandus’ location, we know it’s on an island elsewhere… I kind of want to see the principal of Glandus, will they be cool like Bump? Have a rivalry with him??? Hexside lore??? FORBIDDEN SHIP BETWEEN BUMP AND GLANDUS PRINCIPAL??!?!
           But yeah, those are the episode synopses, and they promise a LOT! It seems each episode so far is just pure character or plot stuff… Not to dunk on ‘filler’, which I think is misused for a lot of episodes honestly, but I like it! I guess Dana and crew have to make the most of their time thanks to Disney’s weird thing with Season 3, screw you Mickey… But yeah! I’m definitely gonna say more stuff and talk about the intro, but for now, I AM HYPED!!!
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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years
Text
The Island | KTH (Four)
Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?
Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader
Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.
Word Count: 11k
Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) implied sex
Notes: this is not a reflection of Taehyung’s art! Just saying lol But anyway, hope you guys like this chapter. Tae and oc sure have a lot of moments huh. let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)
Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous --- Next
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Month 4
“What the fuck is that?” You point accusingly towards the paper Taehyung is excitedly holding up.
“What do you mean,” he grins. “It’s you!”
“…throw it away.”
“What?! No! I worked hard on this!”
“I look like a god damn frog.”
“In the painting or in real life becau—"
“THE PAINTING!” You leap towards Taehyung and reach for his atrocious artwork. Can he even call this disaster art? No offense, no actually, full offense but its ugly as hell. Taehyung lifts it high above his head.
“Listen, listen…don’t you think this hurts my feelings a little y/n? I worked hard on th—”
���I swear to God Taehyung…if you don’t burn this—"
“OKAY OKAY! No need to put out threats!” he pouts almost theatrically. You eye him up and down, waiting for him to make a move towards a trashcan but he just stands here.
“Well? Go throw it away.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Yeah, no.”
You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose, “What do you mean no?”
Taehyung narrows his eyes at you and laughs under his breath as he steps closer to you.
“First of all, you don’t tell me what to do. I prefer if it’s the other way around.” He smirks, “And second, I am still going to keep it. For the memories.”
You chew on your lips for a few moments, letting his words sink in. But for the memories?
“For the memories? Why would you want to remember any of this?”
Taehyung frowns at your words, he looks genuinely offended.
“I might not like our situation but…”
“But what?”
“Fuck, don’t make me say it.” He says while turning red. “You know, I still want to make good memories with like, you.” He admits softly.
You finally give in, gently reaching for the awful artwork. Don’t get it wrong, Taehyung’s art is usually so beautiful. He does landscapes and abstract pieces and they absolutely blow you away. But his portraits of people? Disgusting.
“Fine…” You smile down at the painting in your hands then look back at him, “But if I see this hung up anywhere I am burning it myself.” You smirk. “And I will take great pleasure in that.”
“Oooooh please tell me more about your pleasures.” Taehyung wiggles his brows at you.
“You’re the worst.” you smile, “Anyway, do we have a deal?” you stick out your hand for him to shake.
“Deal!” Taehyung cheeses, slapping your hand down and going in for a quick hug instead. You’re surprised to say the least, you kind of guessed Taehyung was the affectionate type but you didn’t expect to be on the receiving end of it. “I’ll be in my art room most the day. Movie night though?”
“Yes, movie night.” you oblige.
“Yay.” He chirps happily, skipping off to his art room down the hall. You can’t help but smile as he disappears from your sight.
But then your heart pinches in your chest. You want to feel happy. Are you just ungrateful? You should be happy. Taehyung is finally being himself around you and you finally feel like you aren’t as alone. But it’s all a façade technically…he’s got no one else, just like you have no one else. In the real world…if you two met would you become friends like this? Or is this all forced? Is your entire friendship fake? You feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, you hate these thoughts.
He’s so different than you thought he would be…he’s lighthearted, he’s funny, he’s silly, he’s talented, he’s human. And don’t even get started on flirty Taehyung…You really thought he was some closed off asshole but as time goes on and he becomes more and more comfortable you see the real him, and you really enjoy it. And you hate that you enjoy it. What are you like? Are you still a brat? Does he still think that? You chuckle to yourself, he probably does. Has he grown so comfortable with you that he’s not as angry about being stuck here with you? No, you imagine he’s still really upset about this whole thing. He just doesn’t voice it to you as much anymore. Maybe he’s avoiding the subject. You can understand why. It’s awkward. This place wants to get you two together but neither of you are interested in the other romantically. You just don’t see it happening.
~~~~~
Taehyung is just relaxing in his room on the verge of a glorious nap, he is finally dozing off, eyes slowly closing when his head snaps up in reaction to a loud crash coming from downstairs. Now what the hell could that be? Panicked, he rushes to his feet. He flies down the stairs in record time trying to find the source of the loud bang. He stands in the living room, glancing around the area for any sign of you. Are you okay? Where are you? Shit. Frustrated, he runs his fingers through his hair and as calmly as possible calls out for you. But nothing. Fuck. Your name slips past his lips in growing panic.
He decides he is going to charge each room in search for you, when he reaches the door to his art studio. He can hear muffled words on the other side of the door.
“Shit. Damn. Fuck.”
He instantly roll his eyes to the back of his head, literally so far back all that’s seen is the white of his eyes.
“Such foul language for such a pretty mouth.” He whispers to himself, slowly creeping the door open, exposing a distracted and distraught you.
“Motherfucker!” you huff, your hands on your hips, eyeing the mess you made. God damn did you make a fucking mess. On the floor is a canvas, brushes scattered and a rainbow of colors splattered all around.
“What. Are. You. Doing.”
Your head whips in his direction, your face turning many shades of reds. He stands at the doorway making his presence known, looking at you expectantly, judgement in his eyes. At least he hopes you can see the judgement in his eyes. Because he is definitely judging like hella hard.
You continue to stand here, your blush deepening. He is too frustrated to find it anything but annoying. You begin to stutter out words he can’t make out. You are trying your best, that much is obvious. You’re trying to explain yourself but he can tell you’re only becoming more and more flustered at the situation. He is sure his annoyed expression doesn’t help your ability to speak. Whoops.
“I-I was…well, you said, well remember you said…” You try. You really try. He almost wants to laugh, but not quite.
“I-I said? I said what?” He keeps his stoic demeanor intact, just stressing you further. He’s almost having fun with this. Almost.
“Well, Taehyung…listen,” you try again. “You said,”
“I said?”
Your eyes scan the room as if there’s something here that will help you.
“Words y/n. I need you to use your words.” He demands, maybe having a little fun stressing you out. He sees your blush become such a deep shade of red that even he feels embarrassed.
Finally, you releases a long breath and words begin spilling out of your mouth.
“You said you wanted to keep that frog picture—“
“Your portrait, you mean.”
“Yes, yes whatever. Anyway, you wanted to keep it for the memories, right? You…you…you’re sentimental like that or whatever.” You pause to take a breath. “And and…”
He raises a brow at you, taking a few steps forward, mindful of the mess you made.
“And?”
You raise your head to look into his eyes. You’re staring so intensely that he wonders where you got this wave of confidence from. He stares back just as seriously. Your eyes are the same as usual, dark, plain, boring. For the most part.
“And…I decided that maybe, that maybe I want to…paint you…too?” you step forward. “You know, for the memories.” You tear your eyes away from him. But he sort of wishes you didn’t.
His brows pinch together at your little idea. You want to paint him ? He studies your face seeing if maybe there’s anything else. You look tense under his gaze, he admits that makes him feel kind of good. Is that mean? You look so incredibly shy, and it is so fucking...something, he doesn’t know what but it’s something. He continues to observe you and your shy expressions.
He looks down at you and breaks into his best shit eating grin, his hand reaches down to ruffle your hair.
“Yes!” he lightly chuckles, “Let’s make lots of memories!”
It looks like you’re in a daze, his reaction catching you off guard, he guesses. Taking a moment to collect yourself, you look up into his eyes again.
“Yeah, lots of ‘em.” your smile slowly begins to fade, “We won’t be here forever, so we have to leave with lots of memories.” you mutter.
Taehyung feels himself go soft at your words.
“y/n…” he slides his fingers down to cup the back of your head, fingers gently massaging your scalp. “When this is all over…we can still be in contact, you know?” Your eyes travel to the floor, eyeing the mess you made. He’s still getting over that.
“I know…but Taehyung, I still feel like I don’t even know basic things about you! Like what even is your favorite, uh, I don’t know, animal? I can’t tell you how long I have been wondering that and—”
“Then let’s have a whole night dedicated to that. Let’s drink some wine, paint some pictures and learn everything there is to know!” he moves his hand forward, his fingers playing at the ends of your hair, “Like, what shampoo did they give you because your hair is soft as fuck.”
You give him an unimpressed look,
“I know you steal my shampoo sometimes, I’m not dumb.”
“Don’t know what you are talking about.” He cheeses.
“But okay,” you grin at him, “Let’s do that.”
“I love Koalas and sloths!” You’re laid out on your stomach, swinging your legs above you while sipping on your red wine.
“You can’t choose two!”
“I just did.”
“Fine. Mine is…drum roll…its…” he pats the floor repeatedly.
“Oh come on! Tell me! I’ve been dying to know!”
“Its…lion!” he lays next to you, resting on his side. He eyes the painting you are working on. It’s supposed to be him…supposed to be.
“I like lions too.” You add more color to the background of the canvas. He can hear the smile in your voice.
“Sheesh…and you think I am bad at drawing people…”
“Stop being a hater!”
“ME?” he stares at you incredulously.
You and Taehyung are a few glasses of wine in already. He can tell its hitting you harder than its hitting him, you’re extra talkative and all giggly. He’s painted a picture of the beach while you’ve worked on a portrait of him, it’s amusing to say the least—the portrait. Pretty quickly glasses turned into bottles. Bottle number 3 has been opened and now he is also talkative and all giggly. He’s a giggly lil thang when he’s drunk, and he is drunk.
“Okay,” he sits up, sitting on his legs. “First impression of me, go!” he laughs, for literally no reason.
“I thought you kidnapped me.” You state plainly, “So like, a creepy person.”
His jaw drops.
“I’m offended!” He lays his hand over his heart. “You thought I was creepy?! And there I was thinking you were just some hot chick I hooked up!” Yes, he called you hot to your face. He is drunk, he is allowed to do that. Yeehaw.
“Okay to be fair, that thought crossed my mind too.”
“That I was some hot chick you hooked up with?”
“I never said hot.”
“But you were thinking it, right right?” he wiggles his eyebrows in the most exaggerated way.
You smirk before chugging back the rest of your wine, reaching for a new bottle.
“Okay, maybe I thought it.” You admit, your sly smile growing.
“Want me to open it?” he gestures towards the wine bottle.
“Please.”
He reaches for the bottle of wine, his hands brushing against yours. He hates that he feels a quiet fire in his insides when he touches you. He hates how when his skin makes contact with your skin there is an automatic heat that lights up and warms him, burns him almost.
“Do you have someone? That you like?” You slur out, curious about Taehyung’s love life.
“…Yes.” Taehyung admits softly.
“I am what they call a ‘Dilf’” Jin states confidently. The rest of the boys share a look of confusion.
“You literally aren’t a dad?” Jimin looks at Jin with a puzzled smile.
“But you can’t tell me I am not a ‘dilf’ though.”
“Okay Jin, you’re a dilf.” Namjoon rolls his eyes, going back to his book.
“I wanna be a dilf too.” Jungkook whines and Taehyung nods his head in agreement. Jin shakes his fingers at the boys and speaks up.
“You have to earn the title.”
“Yeah, by being a dad.” Jimin deadpans.
“Let the man have his dreams.” Yoongi says before putting his ear bud back in his ear and nodding along to whatever song is playing.
“My dream is to finish this assignment.” Hobi groans into his pile of papers on the table.
“This is your fault for going back to school for your masters!” Taehyung teases. He has just recently dropped out of school and he is loving it. He watches as his friend works night after night on paper after paper and Taehyung no longer has to worry about things like that. He can just focus on the music.
“Are you guys using this chair?” Taehyung hears a sweet voice cut off all their chatter. He looks up to see this gorgeous girl with light brown hair that reaches her waist and eyes as bright as the sun.
“Uh, no.” Taehyung clears his throat, “You can take it.”
“Thanks.” She smiles at Taehyung and then at the rest of the boys before she’s dragging the chair to the table next to them.
“Holy shit.” Taehyung whispers to Jungkook, “She’s so pretty.”
“That’s Hana.” Jungkook looks over his shoulder at Hana and her friends. “I have a class with her.”
“Bro, introduce me!” Taehyung begs. “You literally owe me.”
“From what?!”
“I let you fuck that one chick like 2 years ago even though I saw her first.”
“Oh? You let me? Really?” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “But anyway, sure. I’ll introduce you.” He says nonchalantly, picking up his drinking and taking a sip.
“Taehyung?” you wave your hand in front of his blank face. “Taehyung?” “Huh? Yeah?” he starts snapping out of his memories, “what’s up? What did you say?”
“I asked her name.” you smile awkwardly, “The girl you like.”
“Hana.” He quietly clears his throat, “What about you? Do you have someone?”
“After my ex? I am staying away from men for a while.” You laugh, “Like, can you blame me?”
Taehyung can’t help by frown at your words.
“Don’t close yourself off…” Taehyung whispers to you. “You’re too pretty for that.” He slurs out and you blink at him repeatedly.
“I’m pretty?”
Taehyung scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully.
“Like you didn’t know.”
Hours pass you two by, more wine has been drank and you two are giggling like school children. Taehyung is folded over, laughing a storm as you do your best impression of a dolphin. You can’t help but fall over and laugh your head off as well, the alcohol obviously has made you two crazy.
Taehyung finally calms down and looks at you with soft eyes, “So, what’s your biggest fear?” he asks, leaning forward.
“No!” you laugh. Fucking laugh. “Listen, we can go back to our serious convos another day…right now I wanna…” you slur your last words, “wanna talk about fun stuff.” you give him the most sleazy wink he’s ever seen. It kind of works for him though.
“Okay.” He agrees easily, “Tell me the story about how you lost your virginity? Don’t leave anything out”
Your eyebrows shoot up, “Wanna know the dirty details huh?” you part your lips and smile.
“Dirty? I bet it was as vanilla as vanilla gets.”
You frown at his words, “I’m not vanilla. I’m fun, I swear.” you pout.
“I didn’t mean it as boring babe. I just mean you probably lost it to like your high school sweetheart, your first love, blah blah blah. The romantic shit.” You exhale a short breath…babe? You like the new friendly nickname, you admit.
“Actually it’s the opposite.”
“The opposite?”
“First year of college. Random guy from a bar. Total one night stand type of situation. I didn’t even tell him it was my first time. I think he probably just thought I was really inexperienced. “ You laugh to yourself. Sounds like a situation you might regret but there is no bitterness in your tone.
“Oh wow. y/n the cry baby can do one night stands?” he teases.
“I’m full of surprises you know.” The glint in your eye tells him he’s going to find out eventually.
“Well then what are the dirty details?” he pries further, leaning into your space again.
“Hmm, don’t think I am drunk enough for that.”
“Oh, I can grab another bottle of wine.” He teases, “But fine.”
“About your comment about me being vanilla…” you begin but Taehyung is cutting you off with the shake of his head.
“I didn’t mean it bad—”
“Are you into vanilla sex?”
Taehyung’s eyebrows crawl to the top of his forehead and his mouth falls open.
“Why are you asking that?” he breathes out, his eyes darkening.
“They paired us together, you know? We probably have more in common than you think…my guess that means sex too.”
“I know we have that in common.” He smirks, “I’m guessing you never looked in the other room?” he quirks a brow at you. “You might find it interesting.”
“The other room?” you tilt your head to the side, “Oh? The one upstairs next to your bathroom? Yeah, I stuck my head in there once…I saw it’s just another bedroom.”
“Is it really just another bedroom though? You didn’t have a look around?” his sly smile grows on his stupidly handsome face. “Like I said…you might find it interesting.”
“What are you talking about?” you slur, “Why would I…?”
Taehyung rises to his feet, walks towards you and leans down until he’s softly gripping your arm and pulling you up.
“Let’s go explore.” He chuckles, “I want you to see the room.” He’s guiding you out the art room, you two stumbling through the door.
You both begin to make your way upstairs, his hand never leaving your arm as you two walk. You keep bumping into him and he only laughs, squeezing your arm every few moments. You guys walk through the hall until you’re standing outside the bedrooms door.
“Go on.” He looks at you with a smirk, “I want you to explore this bedroom.”
“You’re being weird.” You giggle, opening the door.
And just like you thought, it’s just a bedroom. There’s a large bed in the middle of the room against the wall, and a couple of dressers, a closet, a huge ass mirror and other normal bedroom things.
“And?” You glance at Taehyung.
He looks at you with an amused smile. “Explore.” He commands.
You give him a weird look before walking through the room, your hand slides against the dresser that holds the extra large mirror. You catch your reflection and smile at how drunk you look. Taehyung walks behind you and eyes both of your reflections, he steps close to you and chuckles.
“I like this mirror.” He whispers. “Great view of the bed.”
“Uh yeah?” you look at him through the mirror, “I guess so.”
“Explore the drawers.” His evil grin makes you nervous…you look down at the drawers and open the first one on the left, there’s multiple things inside but you can’t tell what they are. You stick your hand inside and grab the first thing it can find. You pull this object out and bring it closer to your face, your drunken vision making it hard to identify what it is. Then your eyes are expanding and you drop the object in the drawer, the loud thud making you jump.
“What was that?” Taehyung whispers, “Something you know right?”
A dildo. Your eyes scan the rest of the drawer only to see more, along with other toys. You quickly slam the drawer shut and turn around to face Taehyung, who is standing so close behind you.
“What the hell?” you stutter out, turning red.
“That’s not all. Check the closet.” He says quietly, pointing towards the closet. And you listen, you walk forward until you’re standing beside the sliding door. You open it and see various articles of clothing.
Lingerie and outfits. Maid, nurse, etc. You stare at the clothes in disbelief.
“What is all this?” you turn to face Taehyung.
“You tell me.” He says chuckling, “Seems like we like the same stuff.” He shrugs. “Maybe you can,” he walks closer and is touching the maid lingerie, “wear this next you’re cleaning the house.”
He’s teasing you. Your stomach twists and turns, your heart is jumping out of your chest and you feel so fucking warm.
“S-Shut up.” You lean back on the door.
“Oh baby, I think you and I both know who tells who what to do here.” He breathes out, not looking at you as he still plays with the material of more lingerie.
“Taehyung,” you sigh, “The cameras can’t hear you in here.”
“Ah,” he turns to face you, “Right. Should we head back downstairs?”
“Yes.” You slur out, feeling quite dizzy.
Month 5
It’s the bright white screen you know all too well…it has you releasing a shaky breath as you wait for the black letters to eventually appear.
“Hey Taehyung…” you call out for you roommate who is making something to eat in the kitchen. “I think we have an incoming message from our,” You pause, huffing out. “Our little friends.”
“Oh. Oh shit.” You hear Taehyung whine from behind you. “I thought they were finally starting to back off…” he sighs out. “Let’s see what these fuckers want.”
Request:
Skinny dip for 1 hour. Must be within a foot of one another.
Ex-excuse you? Ex-fucking-cuse you? Skinny who what for when what? Your eyes bulge out of your head. This has got to be some sort of joke.
“Hell no!” you yell out, not even sparing Taehyung a glance.
Voice full of panic, Taehyung is quick to bring up the alternative.
“The penalty!” he rushes. “What’s the penalty? We will just do the penalty!”
Penalty:
No power or running water for 3 days.
“No pow—what the fuck?” Taehyung shakes his head, disbelief written all over his face.
“Wait! And no running water? Like, we can’t flush the toilet for 3 days? That’s bullshit!” you drag your hands down your face, “And wont the stuff in our fridge go bad?”
Several long moments pass between you two and not in a cool way. There’s nothing cool about this shit. There’s tension filling the air around you both. Awkward tension.
“Isn’t this too much?” Taehyung finally says, obviously not able to tolerate the silence any longer.
You both exchange worried glances with one another before Taehyung says some shit you don’t like.
“Let’s just do the request.”
Your eyes basically pop out of your head.
“Are you out of your mind—do the requests? How could you say that so easily!” you mumble, feeling your cheeks heat up.
“I feel like it’s the best choice.” He gives his honest answer. “Plus, you’ve never seen a naked man before? We will get over it y/n. Knowing me and you, we will be laughing about it in a couple days.” He finally turns to face you, throwing a wink your way, “You know it’s true.”
You mull over your options and hate that he’s right. You very timidly respond with a quiet ‘okay’ and avoid his eyes. His dark, intimidating eyes.
Your heart is racing, No, that is an understatement; your heart is on the verge of explosion. Your nerves are scattered and pounding from the inside out. You are freaking out. Naked with Taehyung? And he seems cool as a fucking cucumber.
“Let’s meet outside once it’s completely dark out.” You suggest.
“Read my mind.”
“…Of course I did, we’re” you roll your eyes. “Soulmates.” you laugh bitterly to yourself, “anyway, I’ll just see you tonight.”
“So you’re just going to avoid me until tonight?” Taehyung asks, “It’s not like they’re asking us to fuck.” He sways on his feet, “Just keep your eyes on my eyes and we will be fine.”
“Right.” You choke out, “Because it’s that easy.”
“Are you saying it’s impossible not to check me out?” he teases and you feel your cheeks heat up.
“Shut up.”
“Brat.”
Night fall approaches sooner rather than later. You wish it would have taken a million years to appear but nope, here you are. You stand outside with Taehyung in front of you. You’re in an oversized t shirt and loose shorts, keeping it simple since they’re coming off anyway. Taehyung wears his usual sweats and a white tee. You two are standing next to the pool, knowing the time has finally come. After leaving Taehyung earlier this afternoon, you took a much needed nap to clear your head.
“Don’t let your eyes linger.” You mumble, nodding your head in his direction.
“Ha, I was going to say the same thing to you.” He pokes his tongue out. Taehyung looks fucking comfortable as fucking always. Like, this doesn’t bother him in the least.
Luckily, the tension is tolerable. So you decide to make the first move. You begin unbuttoning your shorts—
“Woah! Woah! Woah! Wait!” he yells. His arms flailing, trying to stop you.
You scrunch your nose in annoyance, “What?” you ask, not too pleased since you are just trying to get this over with. If you got told 5 months ago that you would be in a hurry to get naked in front of this guy you would ugly laugh. Yet here you are.
“It’s just-it’s just…we should go at the same time.” Taehyung rushes to say.
“Oh, okay. Pants first, let’s go—”
“No! that’s awkward.” He shakes his head, “shirt first.”
“Okay, okay.” You oblige, “weirdo” You whisper loud enough that he can hear you.
The two of you begin with your tops, you try to focus your eyes elsewhere but they naturally skim the skin of his chest and abdomen as his shirt comes off quickly. Taehyung doesn’t even try to look away as you undress, his dark, intimidating stare causing you to feel chills. You slip off your pink t shirt, exposing your bare torso that is laced with a pretty black bralette. His gaze doesn’t waver.
“Okay, next is our bottoms right?” You gulp. He only nods.
You continue the job on unbuttoning your shorts, letting them fall to your feet exposing your matching black panties. Yes, you wore a sexy matching set on purpose. If he’s going to see you like this why wouldn’t you want to look good? You would do that for anybody. You can feel him eyeing you as he slips off his sweats, leaving him in nothing but a pair of blue briefs.
Finally, you are left in nothing but your underwear. You eye him over, his body is so fucking nice it makes you feel bad for even standing next to him. His briefs are a light blue, leaving little to the imagination. You can literally see the outline of his—you know what. Is he sporting a semi, right now? You do an up and down of your own body when you realize you have more clothes than him!
“Hey this is unfair!” You whisper, covering your chest with your arm. “I have to strip my bra off and you what, just get to watch?”
“Oh? So I am allowed to watch?” he responds playfully. It’s that same teasing tone you’re still trying to get used to.
“Well, you’re obviously going to see…” You grumble, lowering your arm. “Welp, here goes.”
Taehyung swallows rather hard, his eyes trailing your body pretty shamelessly. You reach in front of you, unhooking the bralette and letting the straps fall off your shoulders before letting the whole thing fall to the ground.
“Uh, okay.” Taehyung clears his throat. “Now our underwear.”
“Right.” You say while reaching for the band of your panties, pulling it back a bit and letting it go, the material slapping against your hips. You swear you see his dick move at that.
“Okay.” Taehyung’s breathing is heavier than before, “On 3? 1…2..”
“3!” you shout in unison.
You both begin stripping away your last piece of clothing. You’re the first to be fully undressed. You let your panties drag down leg by leg until they join the pile of clothes at your feet. It’s not that you’re trying to do this in a sexy manner, but if it comes across sexy—then so be it. Taehyung pauses mid action, his eyes scanning your body again. God, you are starting to get really nervous again. His gaze absolutely thrills you, you can admit that. You’d live a life of torture to have him stare at you like this all the time. You see him lick his lips then shake his head. You didn’t just imagine that right?
“Hurry up.” You plead.
Taehyung finally drags off his briefs. By the looks of it he looks mostly hard, as his cock springs free. Holy Fuck. Your last ex—Ben—was not this…blessed. Taehyung has every right to be as cocky as he wants, he’s earned it. His dick is long in length but he also seems to have girth. How is one man blessed this much? You would have to have your hand wrapped around it—or your lips—to really know how thick he is. Jesus fucking Christ, what are you saying? You think your best excuse is that you are dick deprived. Also…how long have you been staring? You will say long enough by the look Taehyung is giving you. It’s that shit eating grin that just screams he is one cocky bastard.
“Okay,” you clear your throat, forcing yourself to look into Taehyung’s eyes. “Let’s get in the pool.”
“You got the timer?” Taehyung chuckles.
“It’s laying on the ledge.” you point at it, walking closer to the pool. “Ready?” you look up at him, waiting for his response.
“You look beautiful by the way.” He says out of nowhere. “I mean, as always.” He winks.
You blush pretty fucking hard at that, you can feel all the heat rush to your cheeks, lighting you on fire.
“Are you-are you ready or what?” you grumble.
“Always.” He grins, reaching for you hand. “Let’s go.”
You two tip toe into the water, pausing every few seconds to get use to the temperature of the water. You stop once the water reaches your collarbones, you walk towards the wall, lean against it and face forward. You turn the timer on and you both exchange a few words but you remain mostly quiet, You don’t think either of you know what to say. Every minute that passes (about 15 to be exact) has your nerves spiking.
You hear Taehyung sigh deeply as he inches closer towards you. Now why would he do that? He inches so close that your shoulders are touching, he sinks a little further into the water and then surprising you, he rests his head on your shoulder. What the fuck is he doing?
“We can have a foot of space between us.” You remind him awkwardly.
Taehyung remains quiet, you only hear his soft breaths.
“Taehyung?”
“You know how hard it is going to be to get the image of you naked out of my head?” He whispers with a chuckle.
“Don’t start using me as masturbation material.” You joke, your eyes looking out at the water. It’s calm and bright from the lights inside the pool.
“Start? You think you haven’t entered my mind before?” he jokes back. At least you think he’s joking.
“Stop playing.” You laugh awkwardly.
Taehyung is quiet again and you can feel the tension that always visits you two starting to build.
“Do you…have you…have you thought about me before?” you manage to slip out, surprising yourself.
“You’re asking if I’ve—”
“If you’ve thought about me when you have ‘alone’ time’ ya know?”
“Do you think I haven’t?” he lifts his head and stares at you. “y/n…I’m a guy. And you’re kind of the only person I see.”
Oh. It’s not like I see anyone else. His last words repeat in your mind. Of course, that makes sense. He’s stuck with you, of course you’ve entered his mind, probably against his will or whatever.
“I see.” You say softly. You step to the side, getting further from him and he frowns.
You two stand here, barely speaking. Maybe another 20-30 minutes pass when Taehyung dramatically huffs out.
“Listen y/n…about earlier.” Right earlier. When you made a fucking fool of yourself. Asking your friend is he has ever jacked off to you before! Before he can continue you slap a finger over his pouting lips, shushing him.
“Do you really think now is the time?”
“We have time to kill—”
“—okay! So let’s talk about something else!” you happily offer.
But you guess Taehyung isn’t having it, he steps closer and rests his head on your shoulder again, his breathing picking up. Why is he breathing so hard?
“Just hear me out, okay?”
You only stare ahead, exhaling deeply. What to do…maybe there’s no harm in hearing him out, right? Oh wait there is harm! The feeling of fucking rejection. Why does it feel like rejection? You don’t know. Why the fuck you care? You don’t know that either. But he’s fucking sulking, like a baby. You thought you were the baby here? You guess he needs to have a turn every now and then…
“fine.”
“You probably,” he sinks in the water just a little deeper, “hate me, right?” you don’t hate him…”Me, your friend, has had dirty thoughts about you, yada yada,” he closes his eyes.
“ wait what—” This is because he has had dirty thoughts about you?
“So about what I said…I’m sorry…”
“Taehyung it’s fine,” you rush to say in embarrassment, “I don’t know why I asked! Seriously, it was stupid. I crossed a li—”
“Wait why did you ask?” That’s when you freeze. Yeah why did you ask?
“Uh…”
“Why?” he stands up straighter, his head tilted towards you.
“I was just curious Taehyung.” you defend. “It’s not that deep.”
“Curious? About me?” he raises he brow, he pauses while thinking over his words. “Like, sexually?” he finishes, caution in his voice.
Fuck. What did you get yourself into?
“Taehyung…I already said it was stupid. Plus,” you decide to be bold again, “Hearing it was only because I’m the only one here or whatever didn’t do great things for my ego.”
“Wait—” you hear him stifle a chuckle. “That’s what you’re mad about?”
“Well…” you drag out the word with a pout. You don’t mean to be such a baby yet here you are.
“Wow! I thought you were mad because I’ve thought about you impurely, not because it wasn’t a good enough reason why…wow.” He laughs! He’s basically laughing at you!
“Well?”
“Oh my God, y/n. You’re joking right? I can’t just say I have the hots for my friend now can I? That’ll just—”
“Do you?” your voice is much smaller and quieter than you anticipated, like it barely escaped. Taehyung stays quiet for a second too long that it makes you ten times as nervous.
“Are you…” Taehyung looks at you with a look on his face you can’t quite place, “I’m naked in a pool with you right now and I am going crazy. Absolutely crazy.” Taehyung sighs out heavily, a frown taking over his face. “You’re ability to be so naïve just…baffles me.” He admits, defeated.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a beautiful girl y/n. Of course my mind has wandered. It doesn’t mean I—fuck. It doesn’t mean anything deep or anything like that. But yes, being with you and your fanfuckingtastic tits is giving me some trouble.” He says darkly. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you checking me out either.” He smirks. “We are human.” He finishes.
A long, deafening silence accompanies you both. Its sitting in the water between your bodies. Just lingering, waiting for one of you to break it in half and drown it in this very pool. But no, it remains. And that person won’t be you. But several minutes have passed by and he is still fucking quiet. Maybe you should be the one to say something? You’re about to you swear , but you hear Taehyung grumble something under his breath.
“What’s that?” you say.
“I said, it’s only fair if I ask too.” Ask what? Oh. Wait. That?
“Ask what?” you ask, pretending you don’t know.
“You know what.”
“Nope.” you say, popping the ‘p’.
“y/n.” “I’m not answering that.”
“Come on.” He leans his face towards your neck, his breaths hitting your wet skin. “It’s only fair.”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?” he pushes on. “Come on y/n, have you thought about me when you get yourself off or not?” he asks, his voice really low. How does he get his voice so deep? Fuck, it sends a shiver down your spine.
“Maybe once or twice I have thought about you too.” You admit, feeling a rush of adrenaline as the words leave your mouth.
“Once or twice?” he repeats lowly, “What did you think about?” his words crawl on the side of your neck as they leave his mouth.
“I’m not answering that.”
“I want you to tell me.” He sounds so breathless while being so demanding.
“Nope.”
“You’re no fun.” He chuckles. “Aren’t you curious about what I think about?”
“Not really.” You lie. “Don’t worry about my imagination. It’s the only action I’m getting anyway.” You laugh.
“When’s the last time you had sex y/n? Please tell me it wasn’t with your ex…”
“Yeah it was.” You admit and Taehyung pushes his head back, not liking you admission.
“Why haven’t you?” he asks.
“I felt so betrayed Taehyung…it’s sort of hard to trust anyone after that.” You sigh, “He hurt me bad. I’m…”
“You’re what?”
“I just don’t feel comfortable.” You say softly, “I don’t think I will for a while.”
“I see…I’m so sorry. I wish that didn’t happen to you.”
“It’s in the past now.”
Ben holds you close as he comes, his hands leaving behind their marks on your body from how tightly he holds you.
“Fuck yes.” He groans, “Did you come?” he asks quickly, breathing hard into your neck.
“It’s okay.” You sigh out, “As long as you feel good.”
“I felt amazing honey.” He kisses the side of your neck over and over. “Shit, we gotta get going. We’ll be late for work.”
“Do we really have to take separate cars?” you whine.
“Just for now babe.” He promises, lifting himself off your body, leaving your pussy aching for more.
“Okay…”
~
“He look so handsome today as usual…” you hear Layla talking to some of the other girls. “I’m telling you…he’s going to ask me out. He’s been eyeing me lately and complimenting me.” She gushes, catching your interest.
“Who?” you ask, setting your belongings down on your desk.
Layla turns to face you, waves her hand and smiles.
“Ben.”
Ben? Like your Ben? Her boss Ben?
“Ben who?” you blink at her and the other girls laugh.
“Obviously the only Ben we know!” Layla giggles and you feel your chest tighten.
“You think he’s going to ask you out?��
“Yes girl! He comes to my desk a few times day, calls me gorgeous, so on and so forth.” Layla says quietly so only you girls can hear. You feel your heart drop.
“I don’t think so.” You speak up. “Ben wouldn’t. He’s already seeing someone.”
“Oh really? Who?” Layla scrunches her brows together, “Because—”
“Me.” You blurt. “He and I are…”
The other girls stop their giggling and look at you with shocked eyes.
“There’s no way.” One of them says.
“y/n, are you serious?” Layla blushes, feeling a little embarrassed now.
“Yes, for months now.” you admit. “But we weren’t telling anyone…yet.”
“Wow! I can’t believe this!” another girl says, her hand coming to her mouth.
You then in a hush hush voice tell the group of girls yours and Bens story. You tell them how he pursued you, you finally agreed and how you two have been dating for over 6 months. They gush and gasp and giggle. It feels good to finally tell people, you think.
But unfortunately for you, it wasn’t good at all.
“y/n?” Taehyung knocks you out of your daze. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Fine.” You sigh, feeling weak. “I’m okay.”
Taehyung looks at you with pity, his eyes full of it. He stands tall and floats until he’s standing in front of you.
“I’m going to hug you.” He states calmly, “I really need to hug you.”
“Taehyung…” you step back until your back hits the ledge. “Now isn’t really appropriate.”
“I don’t care. I’ve already seen you naked.” He says nonchalantly. “C’mere.” He opens his arms wide for you and you shake your head.
“I said, c’mere.” He inches closer and closer. “Or I’m coming to you.”
“Taehyung.” You whine, but you let him get closer to you.
His wet arms reach out for you, he’s gripping your shoulders first before his hands easily slide down your arms until they’re under water holding on to your waist.
“C’mere.” He repeats. And you slowly inch closer towards him, your arms hesitantly circling around his middle. And then he’s pulling you in to his chest…he sighs when he feels your budding nipples graze his skin, he sighs when he feels the fullness of your breasts being pushed into him, he sighs when he feels you.
You release a long breath as you hug him, maybe you needed this. This type of human contact. You pull back and look up into Taehyung’s dark eyes, he’s already gazing at you.
“Thanks.” You mumble.
“I think of you because you’re cool. And really pretty.”
“Huh?” Why is Taehyung suddenly complimenting you?
“When I’m—you know. I think of you because you’re cool and really pretty. I could think of anyone ya know? That’s how an imagination works. But I still think about you.”
You’re sure your face is a dark crimson, with how hard you are blushing. How are you supposed to take this new information?
“W-Well,” You find it hard to look into his eyes. “I guess, same.”
“Because I’m pretty?” his tone is lighter all the sudden, you roll your eyes.
“What do you think? Timer should be going on any minute now.” Taehyung throws a glance over his shoulder towards the timer.
“Hmm…” You turn, reaching for the timer, your wet hands getting ahold of it. “Less than 5 minutes.” You read it.
“Oh.” He sings, “If you have a secret, share it now!” Taehyung chuckles into the water, his lips creating bubbles on the surface.
“You want to know even more about me?” You stand a little taller, the water reaching the tops of your breasts. You see Taehyung’s eyes linger for a second before meeting your eyes again. “If you wanna know anything, just ask.” You reach your arms over your head, releasing a yawn.
“Okay…” He places his fingers on his chin, “It’s about me though.” He stops, his fingers dragging down his neck. “Ah, never mind.”
“What?”
“No, it’s weird.”
“Aren’t we passed weird?” you giggle.
“No, it’s really weird.” He sighs out, sinking down into the water until his head is fully under.
You watch as he rises back up, the water cascading down his golden skin, the water from his hair dripping onto his shoulders.
A few moments pass, Taehyung stands here thinking to himself while you just shamelessly watch. You watch as he chews on the inside of his cheek, his eyes upward, scanning the stars. He hums some tune to himself, deep in thought. Honestly, you love when he does this. He looks so…good. Not in a sexual way, you swear. He just looks so him. So Taehyung. He goes from chewing on his cheek to his bottom lip, his teeth digging into the plump flesh. You gulp, God he has no idea how good he looks like this.
“Well?” You ask impatiently. Trying to wave away any more of those thoughts you were just having.
Taehyung releases his bottom lip from his teeth as his lips form into a pout, his eyes closing.
“I’m thinking…”
“Less thinking, more asking.” You feel way too curious about whatever it is he wants to say. And the minutes are passing you by.
Taehyung opens one eye to look at you, he exhales, and faces you.
“Does it sound like I’m in love with Hana?” he says quietly.
“W-What? You’ve only really brought her up once…”
“But when I talked about her did it seem like I have deep feelings for her?”
“She thinks I only like the idea of her” Taehyung mumbles to Jimin and Namjoon. “She doesn’t think I like her as much as I say? Which is so stupid!”
“Isn’t she right though?” Jimin asks with a frown, “You only ever talk about how pretty she is…”
“Jimin means you don’t really have that much in common with her, do you?” Namjoon questions softly. “You don’t…you don’t seem as into as you have been in the past. Are you sure you actually like her?”
Taehyung stares at his friends in disbelief, not believing his ears for one second.
“What are you guys talking about? I fucking like her.” He grits out.
“Are you sure you aren’t just lonely—”
“I don’t want to hear this.” Taehyung stands up from the couch, “I’m going to go see her.”
~
Taehyung makes it to Hana’s apartment but her roommate answers the door and frowns when she sees Taehyung,
“Yes?”
“Uh, I’m here to see Hana.” He gestures inside the apartment.
“Right…” the roommate stands off to the side and lets Taehyung in. “She’s in her room.”
Taehyung walks through the apartment and down the hall until he’s knocking on Hana’s door. She opens it quickly, hugging him and pulling him inside.
“Hey you.” She smiles at Taehyung and he smiles back with his teeth.
“Hi.”
“What brings you here?”
“Just came to hang out, maybe watch a movie?” Taehyung sways from side to side, trying to not make this awkward.
“Sure, you can choose the movie.” She goes to her desk, grabs her lap top and gestures towards her bed. “We can watch in my bed.” She says shyly.
“G-Good idea.”
~
“So how did you like it?” Taehyung asks excitedly. ‘Castaway on the Moon’ just finished and he is so happy he got to show her his favorite movie.
“Honestly?” she chuckles awkwardly, “I didn’t really like it.” She admits. “it was weird.”
“It’s not weird! It’s amazing,” he pouts and she giggles.
He does feel really disappointed that she doesn’t like his favorite movie…is that a red flag? No, he’s just being dramatic, he thinks.
“Next time I’ll choose the movie.” Hana cuddles closer to Taehyung. “Okay?”
“Sure.”
“Taehyung…” you begin, “Where is this coming from?”
“She doesn’t think—my friends too—don’t think we have a lot of chemistry. That I’m forcing myself to like her, but that’s not true! But sometimes I feel confused. And I thought I could get an outside opinion.” He admits, “But this was stupid you don’t have to answer.”
You can tell him you believe in his feelings or you can tell him you don’t think he’s even talked about her enough that you take his feelings seriously. But will that hurt him?
“I—”
Beep beep beep beep beep beep.
The fire place is turned on, creating a safe and cozy atmosphere. The gas lit flames burn a hole in the tension that fills the room. What sort of tension? Not sure.
Taehyung and you are sat comfortably on the sofa, sitting with crossed legs facing one another, your knees just barely touching. A bowl of popcorn rests between you and blankets wrapped around your bodies. Separate blankets, of course.
Taehyung and you have decided to move the party inside (with clothes: on) and continue talking.
The ringing of the timer didn’t completely ruin your conversation only delaying it.
“And I don’t know,” he takes a handful of popcorn and stuffs it in his mouth. “I think we would make a cute couple.”
“Yeah but like I asked, what sorts of things do you two talk about? Not if you guys are a cute couple.”
“We talk.” He states.
“Okay…about?”
“Stuff.”
“You aren’t helping your case.” You sigh out, biting your lip. “I want to believe in your feelings Taehyung but…”
“I know.” He cuts you off, “I know.”
“So why are you forcing it?” you reach for some popcorn yourself, “Why do you want to like her so bad?”
“I don’t know….” He admits softly, “I really don’t know.”
“You’re unsure of your feelings.” You say bluntly. “That’s what it seems like.”
“Maybe I am.” He wraps the blanket around his shoulders tighter. “I’m like you…I don’t know what love is.”
“And just like me, you’ll find it someday.” You promise him with a sweet smile. “Right?”
“You will for sure.” He breathes out, “I think I’m a ….”
“A?”
“God, I don’t even want to say it.” He throws his head in his hands. “But I think I am a hopeless romantic.”
“I just want some cute love story with a cute girl. And Hana is perfect.”
“But does she thrill you? Challenge you? Make you laugh?”
“She’s…” fuck, he doesn’t even know. Does he even know Hana that well?
“Hey y/n…” Taehyung looks up at you, his eyes finding yours and you shrink in your spot.
“Yes?”
“Can we watch my favorite movie? I’m curious what you might think about it.” He gazes at you and you nod your head slowly.
“Sure Taehyung.”
“Also, you can call me Tae.”
~
“Holy fuck.” You sob into your hands. “The fucking noodles.”
Taehyung looks over at you with a soft smile as he has his own tears falling down his face.
“I know right?”
“He finally felt like he had purpose Tae,” you look at him with a pathetic scrunched up face, tears still leaving your eyes.
“EXACTLY!” Taehyung wails, “EXACTLY!”
“This movie was amazing, and how everything turned out...wow…and how she…and he…my goodness. I’m still crying.”
“I told you!! I am so glad you enjoyed it.” He moves closer to you on the sofa without thinking.
“Only lame people wouldn’t like this movie!” you basically yell out and Taehyung scoots even closer, his shoulder bumping yours. But you barely notice, still too invested in the movie.
“Yeah.” He agrees with a smile. “You really must be my soulmate.” He jokes with an awkward smile. “No one else really likes this movie.”
“Ha-Ha.” You roll your eyes, “But anyway, that’s crazy since it was so good.”
“Stop praising it or I’ll have to marry you.” He jokes again and you start turning a rosy pink.
“Stop.” You whine, swatting his shoulder.
“Let’s call it a night, yeah?”
You and Taehyung clean up the kitchen and living room and head upstairs for the night, he walks you to your bedroom door and lingers.
“Tonight was crazy. I saw you naked.” He brings up the request and you go redder than red.
“We can literally never talk about it again…”
“Am I allowed to think about it at least?” he winks, his voice low and making you feel tense.
“Goodnight Taehyung.”
~~~~~~~~
Month 6
Today is one of those days…Taehyung is in a bad mood and you’re being a brat. He hates how much you’ve been teasing him today…he is sorting through his feelings for Hana but you insist on walking around with small shorts and low cut tank tops, claiming it’s ‘hot’. He finally has you cornered though, he’s finally had enough. He’s got you pushed up against a wall, his face so close that your breaths mingle with one another.
“You’re really pushing me today…” Taehyung leans closer, his warm breath fanning over your face. “Today’s not the day y/n.” he warns.
“How am I pushing you? I’m literally not doing anything.” You jut your bottom lip out and look to the side.
“You’re being…such a fucking tease.” He decides to say, “Which is giving me a real headache.” He leans down, his arms on either side of your body.
“So I give you a headache?” Your eyes look up into his and you smirk. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“You are real annoying, you know that?” he can’t help but chuckle, but then he’s exhaling a deep breath and rolling his eyes. “Ask for forgiveness.”
“Ask for forgiveness?” you scoff. “Seriously? And what am I asking forgiveness for?”
“You’re lucky I’m not telling you to beg.”
“Beg?” you scoff again. “Who do you think you—”
“y/n.” his dark eyes gaze into yours. His hand slides down the wall and then it’s at your waist. He pulls you in and leans his head down closer to your face, you feel the lump in your throat grow as you ty to swallow it down.
“Y-Yes?”
“Ask for forgiveness.” He tells you again, this time much more softly.
“And if I don’t?” You stare up at him and he chuckles.
“Do you really want to find out?” his gaze doesn’t waver as he looks at you…the way he stares at you makes you feel bare in front of him, like he’s stripping you of your clothes, of your skin, everything.
“And if I do?” you whisper. “What happens if I do?”
Taehyung narrows his eyes at you as he licks his lips repeatedly…you’re really testing him aren’t you? He can’t tell if you’re toying with him because of the cameras or if it’s because you’re a brat.
“y/n.” he says your name like the sound of a slow breath. It feels intimate, the way he calls out for you. You can’t help but gulp as you blink up at him.
“Y-Yes?”
“You want to beg, don’t you?” he smirks, he pokes his tongue out as he eyes you. You can see the amusement in his eyes. “You want to…” the words are dying on his tongue because what can he say? Everything he wants to say would probably be deemed as inappropriate.
“I want to what?” you tilt your head up, your eyes scanning the entirety of his face and he leans further into your space.
“Just do as I say, tell me you’re sorry and we can move on.”
“Do as you say?” you lean back until your head is lightly hitting the wall, “You think I would really listen to you?”
“Such a brat.” His hand doesn’t let go of your waist as he leans back as well. “Why do I deal with this? And yes,” he rolls his head back. “I think you would very much enjoy listening to me.” He pauses and bites his lip. “If this company really thinks we’re a match made in heaven then I am sure you can assume what I mean.”
You silently gasp, a blush painting itself brightly on your cheeks.
“Ah,” he leans in again, “So you do know what I mean.”
“Taehyung,” you mumble, “Sometimes your flirting for the camera is too much.” You whisper quiet enough the cameras can’t hear.
Taehyung leans down until his mouth is at the shell of your ear and you can hear the smirk.
“Who says it’s for the cameras?” he leans away from you again, he finally drops his hand from your waist and is about to turn to leave when your hand flies to his shirt.
“Wait.” You blurt out, “I’ll…” you look off to the side. “I’ll say sorry”
“Oh?” Taehyung looks amused to say the least, “Go ahead, then.”
“Only if you tell me what’s wrong today.”
“It’s nothing.”
Your hand goes from the middle of his shirt to his shoulder and you look up at him with big, doe eyes as he blinks down at you over and over.
“What?” he whispers.
“Please.” You whisper back, “I’ll be good,” you promise in a low voice.
Taehyung feels his chest get warm, the heat traveling from there to his toes. He looks at you with his serious expression and softens.
“You are good.” He breathes out. His gaze intense as he stares into your eyes.
“Then…” you pause. Taehyung keeps his eyes on your eyes until he’s not. His eyes slowly travel down your face until he’s staring at your lips. He notices how plump they look, how your tongue darts out to wet them. He feels himself being drawn closer to you, leaning in further and further.
“…Taehyung.” You say breathlessly and Taehyung blinks repeatedly, clearing his throat as he leans back again.
“Fine, don’t apologize. Brat.” And he’s stepping away from you and you watch his back as he walks away.
Taehyung. Is. Such. A. tease. And it drives you absolutely insane. You’re sure the company that watches you is having the times of their lives as you suffer. Why does he have to go this far? It only makes you want to challenge him and go even further yourself. There was a moment, right? Where he acted like he was going to kiss you? Of course he wouldn’t actually do that. This is just for show but god, it still drives you nuts.
Taehyung rushes to his bedroom, slamming the door shut as he rests against it. What the hell is wrong with him? He’s just frustrated. He misses Hana. But why do you have to be so infuriating and you know, hot. And it makes him angry. He wasn’t actually going to kiss you, of course. But there was a moment of strange tension that he…he can’t describe. Taehyung slides down the door, falling to the ground. He remembers his first kiss with Hana, it was sweet and nice but like, he doesn’t remember it being intense not like how it feels when he gets close to you.
“Taehyung!” Hana giggles as she pats his back as she’s thrown over his shoulder. “Put me down!”
“Never!” Taehyung laughs just as much as he runs around in circles. “Ugh, so heavy though.” He jokes.
“Hey!” Hana hits his back, “Come on, put me down.” Her giggles softly relax and he’s setting her down back on the ground, her feet finally planted on the ground as she keeps her arms loosely thrown around his neck.
“You really love carrying me.”
“Holding you is fun.” He smiles, “And you’re not actually heavy. Actually you weigh nothing.”
“Yeah, right.” She playfully rolls her eyes.
“So.” Taehyung chuckles awkwardly, looking into Hana’s eyes.
“So…” she steps closer to him, tightening her hold around her neck. “We’ve been hanging out a lot …” she flutters her lashes, “And..”
“And?”
“I kind of want you to kiss me.”
“Oh.” Taehyung’s eyes widen. He was not expecting that. He smiles at her and nods his head. “Yeah, I can do that.” He teases, leaning in until his lips are against hers. He pulls back but she pushes herself forward to kiss him more and he sighs in her mouth, loving the feel of her lips.
“We should do that more often.” Taehyung breathes out and Hana giggles.
Taehyung groans into his hands, recalling his memories. He does miss Hana but he feels like every time he thinks of her…he somehow is also thinking about you too. But it’s not like he’s thinking of you like that but yeah, you’re on his mind. And he’s got to chill out. He stands up from the floor and walks to his bed, throwing himself on it with a bounce. He’s still so frustrated. He recalls dinner yesterday, how he…
“I’m staring at you because you have sauce on your lips.” Taehyung says from across the dining room table.
“Should I get it for you?” he teases, standing up from his chair, the sound of it screeching against the floor makes you flinch.
“No, no.” you shake your head, “I can do it myself.”
“What if I want to help you though?” Taehyung tilts his head with innocent eyes. “I’ll clean you up.”
“Tae—”
Taehyung walks to your side of the table and bends down until his face is level with your face, he smiles at you and raises his thumb up to your lips. His thumb brushes across your bottom lip slowly, the heat of his finger making you sigh out. He leans in closer as he finishes wiping the sauce off your mouth. When he finishes he takes a moment to look into your eyes like he’s searching them for something. He’s not sure what though. You feel yourself being hypnotized by his gaze, you, yourself stare back at him just as deeply…you think he’s going to lean away any second but instead he brings his hand between your faces and brings his thumb to his mouth. His thumb pushes past his lips and he’s licking it clean, the action purposely agonizingly slow.
“There. Got it.” He breathes out, “All clean.”
Your eyes widen just the slightest…he’s a tease. A fucking tease.
Taehyung’s eyes light up in amusement when he watches how you flush under his hard stare and he starts laughing.
“W-What?” you spit out, your embarrassment has you stabbing your food with your fork. “What’s funny?”
“You.” He says with a grin, the air is starting to thin out as he laughs. “You make me laugh.”
“Glad I can entertain.” You roll your eyes.
You’re so…fuck, you’re so sexy. Taehyung has been wanting to admit that for a while, but god, he has to really fucking control himself. But he’s trying to keep these thoughts at bay because he needs to figure out what he’s doing about Hana.
He lays here thinking of all the moments he has flirted with you for the camera, he groans into his pillow when he has the hardest realization. Is it really for the camera? The tension between you two is so fucking thick, the air is suffocating, making it hard to breathe. The intensity…the thrill. You are the only one who makes him feel like his world is burning with a passionate fire. Hana is nice but you? You’re you and he’s realizing how much he likes that.
He’s realizing a lot. It’s been 6 months and he thinks he is ready to admit that this is beyond what he signed up for. He signed on to get along, but this? This is a whole other journey he’s going on.
Taehyung sits up in bed, his face gone pale as he makes his realizations. His mouth hangs open as his mind races. Does Taehyung just want to fuck you? Or….does Taehyung like you?
Suddenly, there’s soft knocking on his bedroom door, his head snaps in that direction and he knows it’s you—well duh, who else would it be? He scrambles off the bed and he’s opening the door. You’re wearing yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt now with an innocent smile on your face.
“I turned the AC down.” You say. “Now I won’t make your life hard by wearing hardly any clothes.” You’re teasing him and he’s going wild for it.
“Oh really?” he breathes out, “Are you going to say sorry?” he teases back, his breathing picking up.
“Should I ask for forgiveness?” you mock him and he raises a brow at you.
“I’m going to make you beg y/n.” he says lowly, “Keep this up and I’ll be carrying you to the other bedroom.”
Your smile drops at his words. What does he mean by that? He’s taking the acting too far…
“You ever begged before baby?” He walks closer to you, making you uneasy. You step backward further into the hall and sigh out.
“Maybe.”
“From now on, you’ll only ever do it for me.” He says so low, that you barely hear him. But you do hear him and you shudder.
“Taehyung.��� You warn softly, you push him by the shoulders, backing him into his bedroom. Once inside you close the door and look at him expectantly.
“What?” he rolls his eyes at you.
“You’re being too much…” you whisper. “But fuck, I gotta admit you’re good.” You breathe out roughly, “It almost feels real.”
“I wasn’t kidding earlier.” Taehyung walks towards you, his hand reaching out to touch the ends of you hair, “Who says this is for the cameras?”
You glance up at him, clearly confused.
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh y/n.” Taehyung feels his heart start to race. “This just got a lot more interesting.”
285 notes · View notes
regrettablewritings · 4 years
Text
Preference: You Move In Together
Characters: Tadashi Hamada, Dewey Finn, Diana Prince, Cassian Andor, Clark Kent
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Tadashi Hamada
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It started out with a kiss – how did it end up like this?
“This” being you holding a flashlight as high up as your crossed arms would let you as you bemusedly watched your boyfriend fiddle with the generator. Though, you already knew that answer: You two had finally settled down to relax and watch a movie (a little treat for getting through your third day of moving into your new apartment), when a flickering light coming from the kitchen began to distract you from your peripheral. Ever the assure-er, your beloved boyfriend insisted it wasn’t anything serious, that it could easily wait until the morning, and give you a kiss of comfort for good measure. But no: It could not wait until morning. It would not wait until morning.
Instead, whatever was going on waited until the climax of the movie to decide to blow the power out, plunging you both into a well of darkness. You groaned loudly, realizing that this meant the both of you would have to wait until morning to get somebody out here to check it out.
“Why wait?” Tadashi asked. “You have one of SFIT’s finest living with you!”
Surprisingly, robotics and electrical engineering were not quite the same – even one of SFIT’s finest could (and did) find himself struggling to figure out what the problem was.
And for as bemused as you were about the entire situation . . . some part of you couldn’t help but find the tiniest kernels of enjoyment in it. It was that part of you that knew that, a couple years in the future, this would be looked upon as a sweet moment. One of those moments older couples remember when looking back on how far they’d come together.
You two had only been moved in to your apartment for less than a month and already your lives felt so full of potential memories: From Tadashi attempting to make “the first breakfast of the rest of your lives” (and subsequently setting off your kinda crappy fire alarm); to you slipping down the stairs on your butt and thus earning his light taunts as he inspected the damage; to the both of you waking up to find your inflatable mattress had deflated overnight after only two nights of sleeping on it.
Your lives felt so full . . . yet it was clearly only the beginning. And that was certainly something to look forward to. Well, that, and having dependable electricity.
“Okay!” you heard Tadashi exclaim, rising up from his previous position. You didn’t need to direct the flashlight at his face to know that he was sporting that confident smile of his. “This time, I think I’ve got it. ‘And the Lord said --” He positioned his finger on the switch. “ ‘Let there be light!’” And with that, he gave it a victorious flip.
Nothing. Still darkness. The only thing that changed was that the silence was now awkward and well-earned. It was only broken by a single clap of hands.
“. . .  You craving McNuggets? I’m craving McNuggets.”
You blinked. “McNug -- Tadashi, it’s almost midnight.”
“McNuggets, (Y/N)! Let’s go! We can pick up donuts after!” Tadashi insisted, gently pushing you towards the coat closet to retrieve a jacket. In the hustle and bustle, you gave up trying to stay unimpressed about the entire evening: You simply had to let out a laugh.
“Oh, Tadashi,” you sighed as you shook your head slowly, though not completely without adoration.
Yeah, you were both in it for the long run. And if you had known this sort of thing would happen, you still would’ve chosen him to be with. After all, if this kept up, your lives would be truly full before you knew it.
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Dewey Finn
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Statistically speaking, Staten Island is the cheapest borough to live in. However, New York is still New York. Meaning that you two are the very image that comes to mind when someone thinks about a young couple trying to make it work: The apartment is small; the walls aren’t paper-thin per se, but let’s just say you’d made cardboard club houses from sturdier stock; the quality of certain utilities isn’t exactly stellar, either, given that it was the best the two of you could afford; and you were both in positions that didn’t normally pay especially well in terms of making six figures.
And yet you both were pretty satisfied with the living situation.
Sure, moving your stuff in together was like playing life-size Tetris (with the added “bonus” of having to pick and choose what would be moved into storage and what you’d have to just give away). But after you got into the groove of things, it seemed to pale in comparison to the lives you’d begun to develop as a cohabiting couple.
For one, this was the first time in a long while where Dewey had actually lived in a clean/livable living space. Maybe not pristine, but there had been an established regimen of sorts: Dishes would be cleaned (even if begrudgingly) amongst the two of you; trash was taken out instead of left to grow into a mountain of pizza boxes and soda bottles and whatnot; and for the first time since he’d left his ma’s house, the mattress lay upon an actual box spring rather than a bunch of milk crates filled with records.
Completing the picture of the young struggling pre-famous by way of Dewey becoming a rock god couple was the assortment of Struggle Meals™ that had become a part of your day-to-day lives. Sure, you tried to eat healthy, but let’s be real: Cooking can be such a pain in the ass. It took a while, but you eventually had to agree for the betterment of your budgets to limit eating out to the weekends every other weekend. Until then, weird salads and Chili Mac and crockpots full of “let’s see what happens when we throw all this stuff in because their best by dates are coming and we kinda need to not waste this shit” stew would have to hold you guys over.
And yet, it wasn’t all bad.
There would be nights when Dewey would be on a song-writing kick up until one or chord would stump him, or nights where you’d have to bring paperwork home and you would begin to contemplate the consequences of just flinging it out the window. In moments like those, you were one anothers’ biggest cheerleaders.
You would continue to be one of the only people that could get Dewey to take a break, insisting that maybe going on a walk might help or maybe he can stop for a moment and just join you for a couple rounds of Mario Kart. And he would fix you up your favorite tea or, in turn, insist that you take a break before you slammed your face into the wall. It rarely actually mattered what one did for the other in that specific moment because no matter what it was, it was all the other needed to get over that roadblock.
And then there were those quiet moments . . . Dewey was never a quiet person, never really was into the quiet. But when you two moved in together, he sort of had to learn to respect those for your sake. And even though it was (and still can be) a bit of a struggle . . . you make it so much easier for him. Just by linking your hands together or running your fingers through his hair while you read. Or by rubbing his shoulders while you lounge behind him on the couch while he messes around with a lesson plan . . .
All in all, in some awkward yet beautiful way, you’re making in work. You try to take turns and share responsibilities, you both go and work your butts off to keep the lights on in this World’s Most Expensive Animal Cracker Box you call in apartment. It’s far from easy. But there’s just this massive feeling of satisfaction that hits the both of you when you come home after a long day of work, collapse on the couch, glance at each other with the most exhausted faces and go, “Wow, you look like shit.” Punctuated with a kiss, of course.
(Hey, it’s a Staten Island love story.)
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Diana Prince
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It all just sort of happened, really. There wasn’t any actual intention of you two living together-- at least, not at first. It had actually just started off with you coming over to Diana’s place just to house-sit whenever she had to go on a mission or even back home (after all, who better to watch her home than her beloved). Of course, this didn’t occur too often at first: She’d mostly retired from the vigilante life by the time you two had established anything. But once Bruce gathered up the Metahumans for a common cause, Diana’s need for you to come by became more frequent. So of course that meant you stayed over more often -- which, of course, meant you would have to make yourself right at home.
When Diana found an article of your clothing mixed in with her own laundry, though, that was when it occurred to her that perhaps it might be more beneficial for you to just stay there. Without the whole going back to your place bit.
You never pushed for it before: After all, for as loving as she was, Diana was still a woman who needed her space, given her history. You felt honored enough that she deemed you worthy of sharing her secret with, you weren’t about to apply more pressure to her by demanding that she let you move in.
Thankfully, no regrets were had.
You felt such childish glee in the moments when you’d wake up and see your gorgeous girlfriend in the kitchen, boiling coffee -- you were actually a little embarrassed at first. But given that Diana was never one to hide her feelings, it didn’t take long for you to realize that she actually felt the exact same: With you around more frequently, the apartment felt far less lonely. Far more warm and welcoming.
It wasn’t just filled with "her" stuff because now it had "your" stuff -- as in things that belonged to the both of you now. And sure, it might've been just little things like desk plants or jello molds or gimmicky little mugs, but it didn't matter to her-- they were yours. Together. Like an actual unit!
There were discussions of comfort zones to avoid as many clashes as possible; you communicated with one another about what idiosyncrasies were and weren’t going to be potential problems and how to possibly combat those.
It wasn’t always perfect, of course, but neither of you would have traded it for anything after you became accustomed to your new living situation.
But the very best moments were when she’d come home after being gone with the League. Tired, sometimes even still in costume, she’d trudge into the apartment, right into the bedroom, before collapsing on the bed next to you. Even if the feeling of your Amazonian girlfriend crashing down didn’t wake you, the exhausted yet relieved sigh she’d release most definitely would. And every time that happened, the first thing you’d feel wouldn’t be irritation at being woken up: It would be excitement.
She’s home! you would cheer on the inside, even if your tired body wouldn’t portray as much excitement as you would try to sit upright to greet her.
“Welcome home,” you smiled every time, voice husky with sleep. And she would smile back. Tired, yes, but always with so much love.
“Hello, beloved,” she would greet. “How was your day?” She would ask this every time. And she would listen, no matter what you responded with.
It was a good life.
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Cassian Andor
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You fought in a war, you survived a deadly mission that turned the tide for the war, the war ended . . . Now what? You buy a home together.
Oh, if only it were so simple.
Neither you nor Cassian really had much of an idea of where to move to for starters. Sure, you talked a big game about the places you wanted to travel to and see for yourselves, but vacations seemed far more within reach than a milestone like moving in together. At one point, you humored the possibility of just traveling around to those places you’d marked and just settle down in one of them, but they were hardly places you could see yourselves actually living in.
But in the end, you picked Takodana: Lush, green, neutral. Cassian was admittedly hesitant at the idea of settling on neutral territory: To him, that would’ve been just as bad as going somewhere where they didn’t care that a war was happening. But you insisted upon it, voicing how perhaps the influence of a quiet life might rub off on him. Plus, it was hard for him to argue with how calm and quiet it all was. An adjustment from the bustle and yells of a rebel base as he had literally grown used to, but not an entirely unpleasant one.
He never knew that crickets could sound so soothing.
Really, the adjustment of moving in together came from the fact that it wasn’t moving into a small section of living quarters sanctioned by an army: It was an entire home, just for the two of you (and K2), surrounded by forests and near enough to civilization while still being far enough away to assure privacy.
It felt weird to Cassian, who’d spent virtually his entire life living with the opposite: Constantly surrounded by people, constantly surrounded by dust, near enough to others while simultaneously being . . . alone.
Only he wasn’t alone: He was alone with you. And that’s what made all the difference for him. Sure, he wasn’t going to entirely give up his insistence on investing in protective measures. And just because it was your home, didn’t mean you were allowed to slack off on the order of the pantry or how fabrics like towels were folded, as though you were tossing away years of mandated regimen.
But so long as he has you, his link to regaining his sense of self? Who Cassian Jeron Andor is without the war? He’s pretty sure he can make that leap and start his next mission: Starting a family together.
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Clark Kent
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You two liked to joke that it was done in order to better brave the ridiculous Metropolis housing market. Which wasn’t far from the truth, actually. But the reality clearly had more to do with the fact that moving in together, after being a couple for so long, just felt like the right thing to do. Sure, it wasn’t exactly the most mystical or romantic of reasons, but why complicate things? This was already a relationship composed of the Kryptonian alien who caused a calamity and the woman who helped to try and kill him for it.
The beautiful thing about your new living situation was that it was a unique blend of the mundane and the strange. Unique: You were living with Superman which meant that after a point, it became somewhat necessary for you to know how to clean his suit and cape in the event he couldn’t be home to do it himself. Mundane: Clark liked taking care of you, and that meant sometimes you woke up to breakfast in bed or came home to find that he’d run you a nice, hot bath.
Unique: Dusting and vacuuming high corners and hard-to-reach places was a thing of the past since Clark could easily lift the heaviest of furniture, lift you up himself, or even fly up to perform the task. Mundane: On some evenings, you two could just end the day by relaxing on the couch, you lying on your back as Clark rested his head on your tummy so that you had access to play with his curls. Unique and mundane: You now had the option of completing grocery bag trips in one go. It wasn’t advised due to the whole issue of discretion, but, like, at least the possibility was now there.
Mundanely unique: His fast metabolism meant that your fridge, freezer, and cabinets were stocked to the bring with snacks of all kinds. Uniquely mundane: Clark snored a bit in his sleep and as much as you loved him, no amount of love could make snoring cute.
But compared to everything else, you’d take it in a heartbeat. You never imagined yourself having a life quite like this, to say the least. But now you could never imagine yourself having anything different.
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glassesandswords · 3 years
Text
Of Wings And Wheelchairs
Pairing: Levi Ackerman & Onyankopon, Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoe (mentioned)
Summary:  Levi and Onyankopon sit in a coffee shop, waiting for Gabi and Falco to return from their small detour during their vacation together. Levi reminisces about the old Survey Corps veterans and their times together as Onyankopon listens. Soon, the conversation makes its way to a person the two knew very well- Hange.
Ao3 Link
“Let’s wait here.”
Levi and Onyankopon stopped at a coffee shop. With so many people bustling about, it was hard to find a place to relax for a while, especially with all the walking they had done. Well, at least all the walking that Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco had done- as Levi had been pushed around on a wheelchair by Falco the whole time. But the kids had spotted an ice cream vendor and left together to buy something to eat, and the older men decided to get a quick drink before continuing on with their journey.
The coffee shop had outdoor seating shaded by giant blue umbrellas that flared briskly over the round tables. A florist sold bouquets nearby. The scent of roses and lavenders wafted through the air, mingling with that of roast coffee.
“Are you sure letting Gabi and Falco go off on their own in a foreign land a good idea?” Levi asked as Onyankopon looked around for an empty table.
“They are fifteen now. They will be alright. Us, old men, shouldn’t be interfering with a pair of love-birds, so let them enjoy this vacation on their own.”
“You might be right about that.”
Onyankopon decided on an empty table on the opposite end of the florist and parked Levi next to him as he pulled a chair for himself. “Fifteen, huh?” Levi muttered, adjusting his wheelchair close to the table. “If they were in Paradis, they would have graduated from the cadet corps. But these two- they have had their fill of the battlefield way before that, being Marley’s warrior candidates and all.”
“Yes. That’s why they deserve to live like the carefree and free-spirited children they are right now.”
“Not that any child needs a reason to live like that. They all are equally deserving of happiness.”
“Of course,” Onyankopon called the waiter over to them. “A black tea and a black coffee, please.”
Levi noted how Onyankopon kept his favorite drink in mind and ordered it for him by default. Over the past three years, the two men had bonded over their shared losses and he had been a constant companion for Levi after the war. Onyankopon had helped him start a new life and set up his own tea shop after he retired in Marley, taking care of all the paperwork and technical details required.
“I heard you spent your childhood in the underground district within Wall Sina,” Onyankopon said as he watched the waiter leave with their order. “I wasn’t allowed there due to the restrictions on the volunteers, but I heard it was a rough place to live in.”
Levi raised an eyebrow. That piece of information was hardly common knowledge. 
“I think I might have an idea of who babbled to you about that,” the face of a certain four-eyed abnormal popped up on Levi’s mind. “Yes. I was raised as a thug in order to survive that hellhole.”
“Did you have anyone close to you at that time? Your parents? Any siblings?”
Usually, Levi would have found it annoying if people dug into his past. But with Onyankopon, he did not really mind. “I was an only child,” he replied, leaning back on his wheelchair, “My mother died when I was young and the closest thing I had to a father was an uncle who abandoned me as soon as he realized that I could take care of myself.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it’s an old story,” he waved his pity off, “I did have two close friends there. Farlan and Isabel. They were as good as a brother and sister to me.” A fond remembrance flitted over his face, as if he could see them in his mind’s eye as he spoke. “The three of us thought life above the ground, in a land touched by the sun would be better. Turns out it is all the same.”
It wasn’t hard for Onyankopon to make out that Farlan and Isabel were probably no more from how Levi’s voice dipped. He changed the topic to something lighter.
“But you finally retired from all your duties and responsibilities. How does it feel to go on vacations to foreign countries?”
“I’m surprised you are dragging me along. Not like I could be of any service anyway, after being permanently bound to this wheelchair,” Levi tapped on the metal armrest. 
“You are too humble, Levi,” Onyankopon shook his head, “I’ve seen you offering guidance to Armin and the others whenever they need it.”
“I help them as much as I can, but in the end, it is nothing more than an old man’s advice.” Levi sighed, remembering a certain someone’s soliloquy in a forest. “Times have changed and perspectives are different. After the rumbling ended, Armin offered me retirement and I took it. But even if I were in top shape, I honestly don’t think I would want to do anything with the Alliance anymore.”
Onyankopon watched Levi as he gazed at the busy road. The man looked broken, like he had lost way too much in life. He reminded him of some of the volunteers who had seen their families killed and hometowns destroyed in front of their own eyes. For previously being known as ‘Humanity’s strongest soldier’, Onyankopon had not seen Levi in action a lot. But the way he held himself together during that day- exactly three years ago, after Odiha- was a testament to his immense internal strength. The man in front of him was a fighter, but the fight had taken its toll on him.
The waiter arrived with steaming drinks and served it on the table.
“How do you drink that bitter bean-juice?” Levi asked as Onyankopon took a careful sip, trying not to burn his tongue in the scalding liquid.
“Six years and you still haven’t warmed up to coffee, have you?”
“I prefer tea, usually that of my own shop.” He sipped his tea, holding it by the rim with his left hand. “But I have to admit, the aroma of coffee is quite enticing.” His voice went back to its hazy tone. “Mike would have liked it. That guy had a sharp nose for things like these.”
Though Onyankopon did not know the details, he knew Mike was probably one of Levi’s previous comrades.
Levi had a habit of talking about his fallen comrades now and then. He did not seem to care if the other person knew them personally or not. Onyankopon assumed that it was to remember and acknowledge their existence and stories, being the last living veteran from his original group.
He heard about the battle of Shiganshina that resulted in the complete decimation of the earlier Survey Corps and wondered if Mike was one of the people who died there. Or maybe he had been one of the many unfortunate victims who were killed by the hands of the pure titans long before. Onyankopon felt a small stab of guilt for following Zeke, who had caused nothing but pain for Levi and the rest of the Survey Corps, but he had his own circumstances. Choosing sides had blinded them from appealing to their common humanity, until Yelena had revealed to him the plan to offer assistance to Paradis before their first scouting expedition six years ago. He had almost convinced himself that the Paradis military would crush them with their titan power before they could put forth that proposal, but then, a certain Survey Corps Commander gave them the warmest welcome they could have received in the island of ‘devils’.
“Brings back memories,” he hummed over his coffee, “Remember, the first time we chatted was over a cup of tea in that tent?”
“Ah yes,” Levi nodded grimly, “Another one of that person’s stupidly optimistic ideas. It was a surprise that you volunteers actually agreed to it.”
There was a silence as Onyankopon knew exactly who he was referring to.
Levi sipped his tea. “Honestly, they’d come up with the most reckless ideas, that Four-eyes.”
Onyankopon gave a small, sad smile. It seemed safe to talk about them. “I have to admit,” he said slowly, “I was shocked when they pointed the barrel of that gun over their one good eye, even if it was unloaded.”
“You don’t know half the trouble Hange caused back in the Survey Corps,” Levi shook his head disapprovingly. “Always blabbing about their latest hypotheses. Putting my entire squad in danger for another titan capture mission. They’d have had their head bitten off by a titan long ago if it wasn’t for their trusty assistant, Moblit. Hell, they went days without taking a damned bath just because something more interesting caught their attention. Sometimes, when I couldn’t bear the stink, I had to knock them out and clean them myself.”
Onyankopon chuckled at his ramble. He had observed Levi and Hange’s inseparable relationship from his time at Paradis. Maybe it was because they were the last ones to survive from their generation, or maybe it extended a little deeper than that. Onyankopon was not completely sure. He gazed at the long scar across Levi’s face, crossing through his one blind eye. If Hange were there, the two of them would have made quite the one-eyed pair.
But Hange wasn’t there as they had sacrificed themself so that he and Levi could sit in peace under a blue umbrella, drinking hot beverages on a sunny day without worrying about anything else.
Levi was still rambling on, “...all those stupid naming ceremonies for the captured titans. At least three Garrison guards used to throw up after each of their experiments. The tantrums they’d throw in Erwin’s office whenever he denied their requests. That Four-eyes once talked to me about titans and their planned experiments for two days straight after we first found out about Eren’s abilities. Can you believe it? Two days!”
There was a bitter aftertaste in Levi’s mouth and he knew it had nothing to do with the tea. A memory of Hange floated in his mind, of them carefully dabbing medicated cotton over Eren’s face after he had kicked the hell out of him in the courtroom all those years ago. He remembered Hange chiding him for having gone too far and declaring that they’d never kill Eren.
His stomach twisted at the irony of how everything played out in the end.
Onyankopon’s voice stirred him out of his thoughts. “It must have been hard for them to pursue their scientific research after they became the commander.”
“It did take a huge toll on them,” Levi agreed, “Erwin’s shoes would have been hard for anyone to fill. But he himself chose them as his successor and they did their job well, even if all odds were against them.” He gave a short sigh through his nose. “But over the years, they changed too much.”
Levi had noticed all the times when Hange had faked a smile to cover up their exhaustion. They tried to maintain their cheerful façade through all the uncertainty to keep their subordinates from becoming concerned about their mental well-being, but from his time with the past two commanders, Levi knew the bone-crushing pressure they were under.
He had spotted the missing tea from his shelf during all those late nights when Hange had fallen asleep on their desk after pulling multiple all-nighters. Although they weren’t new to burning the midnight oil, the commander’s work was grueling. Adding to that, the knowledge and responsibility of dealing with an entire world full of potential enemies weighed them down incredibly. Only he knew how tired and defeated Erwin had looked during his last moments with him. In a way, the role demanded much more from Hange than it did from Erwin himself.
“You mean they were more excitable before?” Onyankopon asked, “I really did not think they could look more starry-eyed than while they were being introduced to all the new technology from Marley.” He chuckled, “The way they whooped after the success of the new improved 3DMG test session was unforgettable.”
Levi set down his empty cup. “Hange was always a vocal advocate for technological advancement. Their inventions helped to get rid of all the pure titans in the island without much loss of human life. When they were given the hope that the rest of the world was not as cruel as we thought it was- but a place where they could learn and discover- that was when I saw them truly happy for the last time. They hoped to make peace when we left off for our first Marley visit. But we both know how that ended.”
Ah, yes that Marley trip, Onyankopon thought as a tense silence settled between them, The time when everything spiraled out of control. To ease the heavy pauses, he decided to bring up some good memories from back then.
“Remember the time when Hange bought that lollipop from that clown just so that he’d stop stalking you? And the time when they tried to feed carrots to a car?”
Thankfully, it seemed to work as Levi snorted. “Shitty-Glasses was supposed to be the smartest of us all,” he said, “Yet, that was still better than the way they squealed after the camera flash the first time we took a picture in Azumabito's place. Now that was just plain embarrassing.”
Onyankopon smiled. When Levi's squad was out drinking, he had insisted Levi and Hange to take a photograph with himself and the Azumabitos as a keepsake memory of their first official trip outside Paradis. Hopes were ripe that night, with the peace conference scheduled for the next day. To keep their optimism up, they had a small dance session in which Hange had dragged Levi with them and had successfully managed two rounds around the ballroom before Levi remarked that it was ridiculous and sulked in a corner for the rest of the night with a wine glass on hand. After which Hange teased him and invited Onyankopon to give them company instead.
When the camera was ready, they were all suited up- with hats placed on their heads despite the fact that it was evening- just for the sake of the photograph session. Onyankopon knew that the Paradisians had never taken a picture before, so his eyes were on Levi and Hange instead of the camera.
Their reactions did not disappoint.
Hange squealed as the flash lit up the room and Levi flinched, grimacing at its sudden brightness. The photograph was quite comical when it was developed: Hange with their mouth slightly open, Levi with his eyes half closed and Onyankopon’s lips in an amused half-smile as he gazed at them.
“To be honest, you looked quite shaken at the flash yourself,” he pointed out to Levi.
“Yes, but I did not wake up everyone in a fifty mile radius within the building.”
“It didn’t seem to wake the kids up, though.”
“What do you expect? Not even Hange can wake up a bunch of hungover brats who had drank all night and ended up passed out on each other.”
“The three of us had to carry them back, didn’t we?”
“Only for Sasha to puke all over the new suit I wore for the photoshoot.”
Onyankopon laughed at that memory. The waiter came over with the bill and he paid it before Levi could reach for his own wallet.
“I told you before,” he said to Levi as he handed over the money, “This vacation is entirely on me.”
“Thanks,” Levi kept his wallet back inside his pocket, knowing that arguing about it would not change Onyankopon’s mind.
They sat in silence for a while, gazing at the people walking around, exploring the shops. Levi got a few quick stares now and then because of his heavily scarred face, but he did not care. He was used to people staring at him; the annoying looks of envy and awe when he was considered as humanity’s strongest soldier, glares of anger from the military higher-ups after he had brought back Armin instead of Erwin during the battle of Shiganshina, and gazes of pity after he had been severely injured due to the thunder spear, thanks to that shitty monkey.
“I wonder what happened to that photograph,” he murmured, his mind wandering back to that day in Marley.
“It was left in Paradis,” Onyankopon replied, “The militants probably disposed of it along with the rest of our belongings after we were declared traitors. It’s been three years after all.”
Levi’s heart sank. That was the last piece of Hange he had left, apart from the scars they had stitched across his face. If everything was disposed of, that would mean that the badges he had collected from the uniforms of his former comrades, his letters, Hange’s research notes, Moblit’s sketches from the night they visited a bar after work, all of their personal belongings- everything had been burnt or destroyed. Apart from Erwin’s grave, there was nothing left for him back in Paradis- the place the Survey Corps dedicated their lives and hearts for all those years.
He masked his bitterness, “It was just a piece of paper anyway.”
Onyankopon did not say anything. The cost of freedom had been incredibly heavy for both of them.
“It’s been three years, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Levi remembered that moment when the spirits of his comrades appeared in front of him as he sat battered and broken. The old Survey Corps, with whom he had spent so many years fighting, resting, experimenting and pushing through every loss, every death and every failure together. He had finally finished their job. He had taken all of their dedicated hearts with him and won for them.
His final salute both crushed his soul and set him free.
A part of him wanted to depart with them. His duty was done, Zeke was killed, the rumbling was stopped and the world was finally free of titans. What use would he be to anyone anymore?
But he knew that the others would want him to live the life that they couldn’t. To explore the world and all it had to offer. To make the dream of world-peace come true.
So, he decided that he would go on, and when his time finally comes, he would stand tall among his noble comrades and tell them stories of the world they never got to see.
Levi hesitated for a moment before turning to Onyankopon.
“Do you think they’re still watching over us?”
Onyankopon didn’t miss a beat.
“I’m sure they are.”
Gabi and Falco reappeared from the crowd, with half-eaten ice cream cones in their hands. The brats had grown so much since the first time he had seen them, all beaten up and bruised on that zeppelin three years ago. Now they looked happy and content, their eyes shining with hope, optimism and love.
Hange’s words from all those years ago played in his mind.
I want everyone to feel safe again soon. I want this to be a world where people can live without fighting each other.
There was still a long way to go for that, but with the threat of the titans gone, they only had humans to negotiate with. Though that probably did not make it any easier, peace was still an option. He’d leave that to Armin and Historia.
Erwin and Hange would have loved it here. All the new places and technology, exotic food, new discoveries; it would have blown their minds. Sometimes, he wondered what would have happened if that bastard Floch did not show up to shoot holes in that fuel tank. Hange would have been alive, they would have boarded the plane together, they could have seen the flying titan and the previous titan shifters. It might have probably returned them to their normal, curious self again.
They could have survived together.
What would Hange have done now that the titans, their life’s work, were gone forever? The two of them had never really discussed such situations, for they never imagined such a day would actually come to be. For them, a world without the threat of titans was a distant fantasy. But if Hange were alive, they’d have probably headed the peace talks. They were never the one to stay out of the action anyway.
“Sorry, we were a little late,” Falco said as he approached them, “Shall we go?”
“Sure, no problem.”
Falco popped the rest of the ice cream in his mouth before silently pulling the wheelchair by its handle without being prompted to. He was a sweet kid. Erwin, Hange and the rest of his old squad- Petra, Oulo, Eld, Gunther- would have liked him.
Levi picked up a newspaper from a vendor, to see if there were any mentions of the peace committee who had set sail for Paradis earlier that day. As they made their way through the street, he winced as the wheel stumbled over a small pothole.
“I’m so sorry,” Falco exclaimed.
“No, that’s fine,” he rubbed his back. “Times like these are when I really miss Four-eyes.”
Onyankopon laughed, “They’d have come up with a crazy convenient wheelchair, custom-made for you.”
“Knowing them, they would have probably attached an engine and the 3DMG trigger-anchor system complete with a safety belt into the wheelchair,” he shook his head. “Then again, I think they might have also pushed me down a slope as a test run, so maybe I’m safer this way.”
A distant hum of an engine made all of them look above.
A plane, similar to the one they had taken off from in Odiha, flew past the sky, its shadow falling on them as it streaked by.
For the kids, it was just another ordinary plane they stared fascinated at. But for him, something about it felt reassuring.
It was almost as if…
Levi glanced at Onyankopon, who gave him a knowing look.
So, they were watching us after all.
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serenasoutherlyns · 3 years
Text
Not a Summer Crush Part Seven
a/n: It's heeeeere! The night before my classes start for the fall. There's a timeskip from the previous part-- Caroline, Alex, and Casey have all been together for about a month and it's the transition between fall and summer. This one features fighting and humor and lots of Jack McCoy. Any and all feedback makes my world!
Part Seven
The weeks passed in late nights spent in the same office, in morning lattes and afternoon runs (that often ended in the kinds of showers that don’t save water, with the almost frantic pulling off of clingy clothing, with breathy “god yes”-es and rushing to the door when either of you heard Alex’s key in the lock). Jack McCoy noted with pride how efficient it appeared your bureau had become since the summer started.
It was important to maintain a good amount of discretion. As progressive as the world may be becoming, you knew that the DA’s office had to keep up appearances; that it wouldn’t be good for you, and Jack (and, by extension, you again) for the media to get wind of your relationship. Besides, you wanted to keep it personal, special.
But oh. The thrill of the honeymoon phase is so irresistible.
A Friday night, one where the air began to have the kind of bite that previewed the coming fall, found you and Alex together in a candlelit restaurant waiting for Casey to join you. You had some sense, choosing a place not normally frequented by the Hogan Place set, in the opposite direction from your apartment. You set your glass of wine beside Alex’s and took her hand in yours, above the table this time. You couldn't resist leaning in, kissing her softly.
“Caroline,” she said as you pulled away, smiling at you with the same look you’d first seen months ago, that you hadn’t known was what it was until you’d seen it over and over as she pulled you tighter into her arms.
“Alex,” you said, enticingly, all but batting your eyelashes. She ran her fingers along yours in apology. “I know,” you said, placing your hands back on the table, leaning back against the booth seat. “We could always meet Casey when she gets to your place,” you said, looking at your phone. “Except she’s almost here.”
Alex laughed lightly. “You’re insatiable,” she scolded you, teasingly. You shrugged, knowing it was accurate. “And I’m hungry.” She picked up her menu.
Across the room, around the corner, sitting at a single table, Jack McCoy returned his focus to his book, trying to convince himself he hadn’t seen what he thought he did.
---
Jack was on high alert at the office. He had been too far away, he couldn’t be sure. And it was such an out of the way place-- he went there when he didn’t want every law student and defense attorney on the island to vie for a piece of his ear. So it couldn’t’ve been them, Jack thought. Who am I kidding? That’s exactly the kind of place they’d go. After all-- Jack knew from affairs.
He wouldn’t have expected this of Alex Cabot, knowing how in love she and Casey were. Though, now he considered the possibility, the two of you seemed to gravitate towards one another in a characteristic way. He remembered seeing her hand linger on your shoulder a beat too long in the courthouse hallway.
Who knows, he’d always expected Mike and Connie would go for it one day, and they still hadn’t. When Erika Keller and Anna Mikhailova had filed their disclosure he could’ve sworn he’d needed to get his eyes checked, having heard the way the two of them could argue. Maybe he wasn’t the best judge of things. Because I’m looking for myself in other people. He leaned in his chair. He’d do the introspection later. For now, he’d do what he could to keep one of his bureau chiefs out of a public scandal. Besides, they were too far away. It could’ve been anybody’s curls bouncing in laughter, could’ve been anyone’s impeccable posture. He hoped.
He made a point that Monday around noon to personally stop by the junior office on your floor, but found only Nick Anderson (who, he remembered, he needed to talk to about a possible change of bureaus) with his head buried in a journal.
“Mr. McCoy,” he said as soon as he realized he wasn’t alone, snapping the book shut harder than he needed to. “What can I do for you?”
“Hi, Nick,” Jack said, a little disappointed that he’d roused the guy from what was clearly riveting reading. “I was just looking for Caroline.”
Anderson’s face fell. Evidently, he was used to that line of inquiry. Poor guy. McCoy remembered the days when he’d given the least helpful junior ADAs piles of nothing to keep them out of his hair. No obvious changes, Jack noticed as he looked around your side of the office. No notes or photos or out-of-the-ordinary gifts. Though, someone needs to show this woman the value of an organized space, he thought. It’d be hard to notice anything among the pile of papers.
“Mr. McCoy?” he heard Anderson say.
“Yeah?” he replied, somewhat irritated.
“Oh um,” he said, what little confidence he had faltering. “I just said she was in Ms. Cabot’s office, sir.”
Jack’s stomach dropped. That may as well be “step one” in the old Jack McCoy playbook, get her in your space as often as possible. Oh come on, Jack. She’s her boss. They’re probably going over witness statements. Right. And how many witness statements did Sally and I review together while I was still going home to Ellen? He swallowed. “Thank you. And you don’t need to ‘sir’ me anymore. You’ve earned your desk.”
“Yes s-- got it, Mr. McCoy.” Anderson returned to his book. Jack continued down the hall.
---
“You really think she’s being honest?” Alex’s question was audible through her slightly-open door.
“She’s our witness!” you said, matching her tone. Somehow, the mood in the office was light even in your disagreement.
“Witnesses lie,” Jack said, surprising the both of you as he nudged his way in the room.
“When it’s in their best interest,” you said, acknowledging him with a nod in his direction. Jack liked how you didn’t let etiquette get in the way of your arguments. “Alex,” you said, pointing your gaze at her. I know that look. “What good does it do her to lie about who she was with?”
Alex fired right back at you, not bringing McCoy into the conversation. “She avoids embarrassment? Guilt? Fear? I’m not putting her on the stand unless we can verify her testimony.”
“Then we’re looking at an acquittal,” you said dryly.
“Because I won’t suborn perjury? O ye of little faith,” Alex responded. Jack caught a playful lilt in her voice. He was liking this less and less with each piece of evidence he uncovered.
“Do you know for certain she’s lying?” Jack said, breaking the intensity in the room.
“No, but--” Alex said.
“Exactly--” you said at the same time.
“Are you certain she’s telling the truth?” He asked. “This is People v Buckman?” he clarified. Alex nodded. You pushed an offending curl out of your eyes. “I would probably put her on the stand,” you smirked, “and when defense -it’s Elsie Campbell, right?- I’d have no recourse when defense tears her story to pieces.” You shrugged, never minding being the first to concede defeat.
“I’ll see if Detective Rollins is up for a coffee break,” you said, grabbing your phone and attache, but, Jack noticed, leaving your cardigan hanging on the extra hook. “Sometimes I wish I’d stayed in California,” you said, “reciprocal discovery would be pretty sweet.”
“Ouch,” Alex said as you walked out of the office. You waved a hand over your shoulder.
“Did you need something, Jack?” Alex asked, glad she’d known him long enough to be casual.
“Nothing,” he lied, and when she looked puzzled, said, “I was actually checking on the Buckman case.”
“I’m in no need of supervision,” Alex said under her breath. “Anything else I can clarify for you?”
Tell me I’m wrong about this, he thought. “No,” he said. “I’m sure you’ve got it under control.”
---
Of course, if Jack McCoy had been a more athletically inclined man, he may have run into you and Casey in the park two days before the restaurant, cooling down from the 5 and a half miles you’d done. He may have seen you tug on the hem of Casey’s tank top, seen her whisper something in your ear that made you blush and laugh, he may have caught the split second her lips met your jawline, seen the two of you heading off for the subway together.
And if he’d seen that first he may have tried to convince himself that it was another red ponytail and another person’s graceful lines. That there were so many people who jogged in that park, that it couldn't have been you.
He would’ve made a point to stop by the juniors’ office, maybe earlier in the day. Nick Anderson would’ve told him you were in Casey’s office and his stomach would’ve dropped. That may as well be “step one” in the old Jack McCoy playbook, get her in your space as often as possible. Oh come on, Jack. She’s her boss. They’re probably preparing for an admissibility hearing. He’d remind himself to schedule a meeting with Anderson for the end of the week.
He’d continue down the hall to find you and Casey sitting together, wordlessly handing one another documents highlighted in different colors. He’d remember the last time he was that in sync with an assistant and an undeniable flutter of recognition would’ve hit him.
But he hadn’t been in the park.
---
Your phone buzzed on the counter. You dried your hands quickly on the dishtowel, you turned off the tap. In the living room, Ashley was gathering the toys and books scattered about. Ramin was late at the office.
1 new message from: Alex to: you, Casey:
Alex: I just had quite the meeting with Jack.
---
“You wanted to see me, Jack?” Alex said, entering his office after most of the lawyers had gone home or
retreated to their own offices for the night.
“Actually, I’d really rather I didn’t need to,” he said. Alex’s concern showed on her face.
“Is this about the Buckman case? I know it’s going to be extra time to look into her statement,
but I really think this could be a break in the case, if she’s telling the truth or lying, so I thought it was justified. I could probably still make the argument without her, but it feels worth it--”
“No, the case is fine. Besides, it’s your case. I-- Alex we need to talk about… it’s maybe a more personal issue,” Jack said, shifting his hands’ position on the desk in front of him.
Alex’s eyes widened. “Are you speaking as my boss or as my friend?” Jack melted, remembering that they were friends, and that he could approach the topic as a friend. Though, usually, he wouldn’t have to confront a friend about their romantic life. Or if he did, it wouldn’t have professional repercussions. Electoral repercussions, he heard a younger, more emotional version of himself say to Adam Schiff 20 years ago. Sorry, Adam.
“Both, I hope, now that you mention it.”
Alex paused a moment, considering what to say. She had an idea what Jack was getting at, but no idea how he had come to that conclusion. He probably has some kind of sixth sense, she thought. “Start as my boss.”
Jack took a deep breath. “OK. I’ll tell you something Adam Schiff told me when I was in your position,”
Alex felt the need to stop him, to find out exactly what he thought he knew. “Wait. Before you reprimand me. What position am I in? What do you think I’m doing?”
“Jesus, Alex. What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. She didn’t answer him. “You’re having an affair with Caroline Haley.” He wasn’t asking her a question, and the disappointment in his voice was wounding. Alex took a deep breath. “You’re not going to deny it?”
“What makes you think we’re having an affair?” She was determined to out-wit him, get him to show her all his evidence before letting go of anything he was unaware of. Under New York law it is the prosecution’s responsibility to disclose any exculpatory evidence, she thought. And a lawyer who represents herself still has a fool for a client.
Jack looked at her blankly. Was she really going to make him spell it out? Well, he’d missed presenting cases. “I’ve noticed that she spends a lot more time in your office than her own,” he started. Alex’s poker face remained unchanged. “Your conversational style is, quite, amiable, ah,”
She couldn’t suppress a smile, then, biting back a laugh. “My apologies,” she said. “All you have as proof of this alleged affair is friendly conversation and spending time together?”
Jack tried to play into her humor. “I’ll remind you Ms. Novak Cabot,” he said, using her married name to see if it got a reaction (no luck), “that adultery is still a class B misdemeanor in the state of New York.”
Alex snatched that opportunity. He opened the door, your honor. “And how many three-month stays do you owe the good people of New York, Mr. McCoy?” He looked caught-out. The upper hand was hers. “Are you sure you’re not just seeing your old habits?”
“You know, it’s funny you should say that. Because after this coming election, I was going to ask you to be my EADA. But you know I can’t do that if there is even the slightest appearance of impropriety.”
“So this is about election results? You and I both know my patience for politics is--”
“Limited, yes. But don’t tell me you’re not the slightest bit interested.”
“I’d have to think about it, Jack,” she said honestly. It seemed to surprise him, which didn’t surprise her. He seemed to forget, often, that she’d arguably done much more important work (and he seemed to forget that Tracey Kibre had turned down the same position more than once, that some people enjoyed seeing their partners and the insides of their apartments every once in a while). “But that’s not why you wanted to talk to me, and you’ve yet to convince me that you have any idea about any affair.”
“Where were you last Friday evening?” Jack asked her, in full cross-examination confidence.
Alex flinched, her first misstep since she’d come in. She wasn’t going to out-right lie to him if disguising the truth would do. However he knew this (if he knew anything), she had no way of knowing how much he knew. “I had dinner with Caroline at a restaurant near her apartment in Brooklyn.”
“A working dinner?”
“I can’t be friends with my colleague?”
“Trilogy isn’t a particularly platonic place as far as I know,”
“You spied on me outside of work?”
“I happened to be there,” Jack said. Alex rolled her shoulders back, trying to let go of some of the anger she had at what felt like an invasion of her privacy, even if it had been public. “I saw her kiss you, Alex. I know.” Alex didn’t answer him. Jack, uncomfortable with the silence, said “I really do understand. I sympathize with what you’re going through, I know it isn’t easy.”
Her frustration gathered itself in her cold fingertips that she realized were gripping the arms of her chair, hard. “Actually, you don’t understand,” she said, quietly, as politely as she could. “You have an incomplete picture of the nature of our relationship.” Jack opened his mouth to argue. “I won’t say any more,” Alex said, certain, “except that Caroline has done absolutely nothing wrong, and if you go after her about any of this, you will have my resignation.” Jack nodded.
“You understand how something like this could look to the public? You understand that your position is at stake?”
“I understand.”
“I mean, just the power dynamic alone, disregarding the infidelity, and I hate to say it, but you know how rampant homophobia still is.” She clenched her jaw, but she didn’t look guilty.
“I know. Now, I’d like you to be my friend for a moment,” she said. “Please.”
He smiled weakly.
“As your friend, I’d tell you not to cheat on your wife,” Jack said. Alex looked serene.
“I won’t,” she said, rising from her seat. “Goodnight, Jack.” She left faster than he could return the sentiment. He’d hoped he had more comforting things to say. And he wanted to know what on earth she’d meant by “the nature” of their relationship. He trusted she’d take extra care now that she knew he knew. It was not going to be a fun secret to keep.
---
She didn’t tell you what the meeting was about, so you knew it couldn’t have gone well. Quite the meeting. You hoped it wasn’t what you thought it was. You said you’d be there soon. You moved through the apartment quickly, leaving the last of the dishes in the sink, snagging your keys off the hook, tossing them along with your phone into your backpack.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Ashley asked. You knew he’d been looking forward to catching up on episodes of The Bachelor, and you did hate to disappoint him. You looked up from tying your shoes.
“Alex and Casey’s,” you said. His shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.” He rolled his eyes. “What?” you asked. “You can watch without me, you know, I don’t mind.”
“I don’t care about the show,” he said, returning to his tidying.
You stood up, crossing your arms. “Something you want to say?” He shrugged.
“No, no. Go have fun,” he said.
“I don’t think it’s going to be a whole lot of fun,” you said, trying to keep the worry buried. “Alex texted, she said that Jack had called her into his office this evening over something.”
“That surprises you?” Ashley said, his voice high-pitched.
You looked at him with your eyes wide. “I’m sorry?” you said, resisting the urge to raise your voice.
“What did you think was going to happen, Caroline?” he said, with a patronizing look that made your stomach turn.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” you said. Two could play at passive aggression.
Ashley laughed bitterly. “I mean, did you not think twice before risking your job, everything you’ve worked towards to be what, the third wheel in a relationship that existed far before you came across it?”
“Ashley,” you warned him.
“I thought you were trying to work on the self-sabotage, I mean, you’ve never even been in a relationship before,”
“That’s not exactly true,” you said. You were starting to feel nauseous. He knew you well enough to know that he was pushing right on all your insecurities.
“That lasted more than a couple months, then, which is hardly anything.”
“I think we’ve gone over that a couple times-- Just because you’re so morally invested in monogamy doesn’t mean it’s for everyone--”
“You really want to be the girl who sleeps with the boss? No, sorry, the girl who sleeps with both of the bosses?”
“It’s-- wow. Tell me how you really feel.”
It was quiet for a moment as the two of you dared the other person to talk first.
“I just don’t think you’re making the best decision,” he said.
“I thought you were happy for me,” you replied, and walked out the door.
---
You didn’t usually ride your bike after dark. It felt right, though, as you went, releasing your nervous (and sad, and angry) energy out through the pedals. Your arms came up in goosebumps, from the chill in the air or the trepidation in your spine. It started to rain.
---
You and Alex arrived almost simultaneously. She was accepting a cup of tea that Casey was offering her when you came in. You were a walking cliché with your hair stuck to the side of your face, shivering. “Hi,” you said, shakily. You hadn’t quite been crying. The insecure part of you felt small, out of place, intrusive: they had this cozy, tidy, warm apartment, mugs of hot tea in their hands; and you were shattering it with the chaos that followed in the wake of your personal life. You were being so selfish, so inconsiderate, bringing your own emotional baggage with you despite Alex being the one having a hard time. For a split second you thought about leaving with no explanation, dashing out almost as soon as you shut the door. Casey held up a mug for you. It was one of a matching set of three.
“Jack thinks we’re having an affair,” Alex said, matter-of-fact, as you slipped out of your shoes and made your way to the counter Casey was leaning against. Alex was pacing, slowly, how she often did when she was figuring something out. You took a sip of your tea, grateful for the warmth, then set it on the counter and rested your head on Casey’s shoulder. She jumped and you laughed, the relief spreading through you. She squirmed as you pressed closer, letting out a squeak at the feeling. You let her go, listening to the quiet creaking of the floor.
“Which us?” you asked, matching the seriousness of the subject again. “All of us?”
“Just you and I,” Alex said.
“How did he come to that conclusion?” Casey asked, knowing there were equal cases to be made for any combination.
Alex stopped moving, pushing herself up to sit on the counter opposite to you. “To begin, he was apparently at Trilogy last Friday night.” The goosebumps threatened to make a repeat appearance. This was your fault.
“I’m so sorry,” you said, your eyes lost in your teacup. “I was reckless.” Out of the corner of your eye, you felt Apollo the duck stare at you accusingly with the stone cold eyes he didn’t have.
“Don’t be sorry. I was there too,” Alex said, meeting your gaze as you looked up. “He didn’t stick around long enough to see Casey.”
“What did you end up telling him?” Casey asked, letting herself be the problem-solver for the night.
“Very little,” she said. “He doesn’t have the complete story. That he should hold off on any judgements unless and until he did.”
“Did it work?” you asked.
“Well enough, I think. You don’t need to worry about your job. I threatened him with my resignation if he said a word to you about it.” Your heart beat faster. Sacrifices for your sake, or the offer of them, made you uneasy.
“You don’t have to put your career on the line for me,” you said, the same shaky tone edging into your voice again. Alex blinked at you, like it was no big deal, like it was the obvious choice. Casey traced circles on your shoulder blade.
“Nobody’s career is at risk, Caroline,” Casey said. “Honestly, imagine the kind of headlines that would break if Jack McCoy fired someone for adultery.”
“I don’t know what’s worse,” Alex said, “Jack’s disapproval right now, or how he might react if we just told him what’s going on. He made it clear his objection had more to do with poll numbers than morality.” Ashley’s words echoed in your head. You really want to be the girl who sleeps with the boss-- both of the bosses? Your fear must have been more obvious than you intended. “What’s wrong?” Alex asked you.
You swallowed. “It’s nothing,” you said, stopping yourself from spilling every anxious thought that came to you. “I’m fine. It’ll be fine,” you said, a real smile making its way out of you. You held your hand out for Alex’s and squeezed. She slid off the counter, letting herself be pulled in, letting whatever you weren’t saying stay unsaid for that moment. She also jumped when she first felt your wet clothes against her skin.
“Now, let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” she said. Your mouth was open in amusement as she started off down the hall. You began to follow but Casey stopped you briefly, hooking her ring finger into your belt loop.
“Whatever he said, it isn’t true,” she said, starting to run her warm hands underneath your shirt.
“How did you,” you said, feeling seen. “I didn’t say anything about it.”
“Give me some credit,” she said then kissed you gently, her body warming yours. “I’m very perceptive.” She gripped the bunched-up body of your t-shirt and you slipped your head through the top. Casey placed her palms against your ribs, holding you steady.
“Thank you,” you said, deep and low, as you kissed her again. The two of you, now almost equally damp, joined Alex. Six hands moved slowly, purposefully. Nothing felt desperate, fleeting. Only warmth filled you.
---
taglist: (I'm tagging a couple of my moots who aren’t on the taglist, let me know if you’d prefer I didn’t!)
@addictedtodinosaurs @nocreditinthestraightworld @cmmndrwidw @hi-i-1 @lesbianologist @readerhermit @@alexlivdoncas @laezzzi @imaginaryoperagloves (thank you for your help!!) @swimmingstudentchaos891
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bubmyg · 3 years
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there was no particular reason i wrote all this down other than reading the translations to my universe made me cry last week because i’m just Like this. this is a mini compilation of yoongi lyrics that i hold gently in my palm and close to my heart in a he’s my artist for life kind of way. these aren’t all my favorite yoongi lyrics, i certainly have more but not ones that fit this general vibe. 
this is like extremely disorganized, i kind of just wrote it like a journal (and i’ll probably copy it to my bullet journal at some point actually). interpretations are my own, music is cool in that we can all read and hear the same thing and get different things out of it (which is why yoongi has often said he doesn’t attach specific meaning to things, giving it up to the listener instead)
so yeah. here’s me being fond of yoongi in 4k for no reason other than. idk. i wanted to. all translations are from doyoubangtan and doolsetbangtan. 
song request - lee sora ft suga
“I’ll be with you, for your birth and your end; That you’d remember that I’m with you, wherever you are; I’ll be a comfort for your life at any time, and so; please, that you’d lean on me and take a rest, every once in awhile.”
to me, this perfectly encapsulates what creating music is for yoongi in a two-fold kind of way. not only does he want his music to be a source of comfort for those who listen to it (just as the art of music is for himself), he’s also consistent in his assurance that taking a rest is okay. not being okay is okay. simply existing for the time being is okay. it’s a gentle empathy that comes from the experienced heart of someone who’s not going to tell you that it is okay, but will tell you that it won’t always be like this. friendly little moon trying to get you to smile with him on sleepless nights.
so far away - agust d ft suran
dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships
this was on my undergrad graduation cap. it’s one of my favorite lyrics of all time. if so far away is my heart song, this is my heart lyric. this is a common motif in yoongi’s lyrics; dormancy is only temporary, you will bloom at the end of the cold winter.
dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life
creation to end is another common motif n his lyrics. in this specific context, i imagine it to most closely be analogous to holding dreams close to you your entire life. dreams are dreams no matter how they manifest, even if they’re simply something you long for until your “end”.
Hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life; It will be generous to you wherever you stand; It will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships; The beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be
the entirety of this song reads like a story and this last refrain reads like the conclusion (kind of). the slight wording change from the previous choruses means a lot in that regard, more definite and firm. you will be okay. maybe not now, maybe not next week. but you will be.
suga’s interlude - halsey ft suga
Though the dawn before sunrise is darkest; don’t forget the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness
just a really pretty but heart wrenching lyric in the context of the entire song. he’s also used this metaphor several times. i love me a good string of consistency with minor adaptations to fit the vibe. this song also made me cry the first time i read the translations lmao.
my universe - coldplay ft bts
Because the trial we face now is just for a moment anyway; All you have to do is to just keep shining bright like now; And we will follow you, embroidering this long night
this could mean so many things depending on how you wanted to contextualize it. of course the song is about love, so you could view it in that way. we’re in the midst of a global pandemic where we can’t see each other. or maybe it’s simply existence. continue to exist and one day your bright light will be followed even in the darkest of nights.
also the og title of telepathy being 잠시 (for a moment) is so...min yoongi you are so cool
people - agust d
Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom?; The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret
Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries; Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries
super simple to understand which i think makes it more poignant. especially if you contextualize it with everything he’s said or written regarding the plight of fame and how he himself grapples with it as min yoongi.
28 - agust d ft niihwa
just this whole song. if song request encapsulates yoongi’s musical ethos, this captures a lot of his general musings.
paradise - bts
Just living like this, surviving like this, that’s my small dream; Dreaming dreams, grasping dreams, breathing breaths, it’s often too much
a more blunt take on the simply existing is a good enough dream. yoongi’s 2018 new years message was one of the things that made me go “yes. Him™” so paradise is very <3 for me
interlude: shadow - bts
Flying high scares me; I mean, nobody had told me; how lonely it is here –;how my leap could be my fall
another thing he uses frequently, even as recently as an interview regarding permission to dance. the contemplation of how a fall is far scarier than landing because getting back up is uncertain.
Yeah, I’m you and you’re me, do you finally get that now?; Yeah, you’re me and I’m you, do you finally get that now?
the entirety of this song is haunting particularly paired with the sampling and the music video as a visual but this part is just...the whole idea of competing internal voices throughout the narrative of the song or if you’d rather truly treat the lyrics like a piece of literature, you have quite the unreliable narrator, one that’s trying to grapple with his own sense of self.
140503 at dawn - agust d
Pretending that I’m not lonely, pretending that I’m not suffering; needlessly pretending that I’m okay, and pretending hard that I’m strong; I built a wall in front of me, “Don’t come inside”; I’m an island in this wide ocean, “Don’t abandon me”
the entirety of agust d just makes me ache but i mainly pulled this part because he uses the island metaphor consistently. here, it’s used like i said before; achingly.
this song also gets overlooked a lot in the larger context of agust d but anyway
eight - IU ft suga
Island, yeah this is an island; a small island that we made for each other; Yeah, mm, forever young, the word ‘forever’ is a sandcastle; A farewell is just like an emergency text warning of a disaster; A morning met together with yearning; As each of us pass this eternity, we’re sure to meet again on this island
can i be honest and say i forgot this song came out at the beginning of the pandemic. anyway, if you haven’t heard the various times that jieun has spoke about this song and it’s conveyance, i encourage you to. the music video also gives a beautiful visual.
i wrote a small analysis of this when it came out so i’ll just put it here 
burn it - agust d ft max
I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage
of course this can absolutely be taken at a literal meaning especially considering he said a similar iteration of this to someone on kkul fm BUT i also like looking at it in context of the entire song because maybe this is him trying to convince himself too, especially considering the wording of the last chorus doesn’t change it so it implies in order to get past the fire u need to let it burn first? burn it = giving up on some aspect of pain?
i see why max didn’t shut up for eight months about making this song i wouldn’t either hello
outro: tear - bts
im including this one firstly because i love the song but secondly to say i knew the second u all were surprised by yoongi saying he wrote this as essentially a break up song for bts and they all cried while listening to it that y’all don’t actually read or interact w their lyrics fjdklafjsd
just bc it’s a rap song doesn’t mean it’s a diss or a flex. weirdos.
intro: never mind - bts
I hope you forget about all your mistakes and such; Never mind; It’s not easy, but engrave this in your heart; If you think you’re going to crash, accelerate more, you idiot; Never mind, never mind; Whatever thorny path it may be, go run; Never mind, never mind; There are a lot of things that you can’t control
the entire composition of nevermind is similar to first love and shadow to me where you can just hear the emotion in his voice while performing it
this is also another general idea that he mentions a few different times through different songs which as we’ve seen i am <3 for
intro: the most beautiful moment in life - bts
once again i don’t have a specific lyric to pull i just love this song so much and i feel like it isn’t talked about enough because first of all the use of the basketball throughout the instrumental, the incorporation of the origin of his stage name into an entire song regarding his general existence as a performer and coming into the beginnings of sizeable fame, and just his general way of essentially writing one giant ode to something he loves and analogizing it to something else he loves to talk through internal struggles.
aka im once again saying min yoongi you’re so cool
first love - bts
same line of awe from above this whole song is just a story, a poem, a journal entry, a beautiful confession, i don’t know. this is yoongi’s best bts solo u can argue with a wall about it also if you were able to see this live i hope u have a terrible week (im joking)
every fancam i’ve ever seen of this makes me cry. so. do with that what you will in regards to how i feel about this song.
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