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inmyheadimobsessed · 1 year

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More Than I Should {pt. 3}

pairing: riri ✘ black!fem!reader

summary: in riri's mind of monsters, you were an angel. an angel whose attention she begrudgingly vied for. god, she didn't even know the extent in which she needed it — needed you, until you made yourself inaccessible.

word count: 12.9k (just eat the food)

chapter contents: riri being a grumpster as usual, but also kinda soft?, mentions of riri having nightmares, riri and keem are besties y'all, they love each other (YIKES!!), hakeem is actually a funny lil dude, riri is kinda emotionally closed off and getting clocked by her conscience?, riri being in denial, very hot and cold, very down bad (her feelings beating her ass), zariri being cute (sorry to their haters), smoking, riri spiraling a lil bit, reader avoiding riri

tags: @verachii @cjariot @blackgcomica @n7cje @mocha-aya @uhwhatsay @shinsousliya @bratydoll @shuriri4life @axailslink @chidinma @percsane @generallysapphic @mbakuetshurisprincess @quintessencewrites @adeola-the-explorer @dejaonline @bubshri @zayswriting @vixentheplanet @prettymrswright @shurisjournal @shurismainbxtch @cafehyunji @bigbigbigfan @andibecamethestars @saintwrld @mysticalmarss @sweetalittleselfish-honey @marsolgy @randomhoex @chatitajens @cuddl3s4shur1 @abenomeiiii @6-noir @melanated-queens @yamsthoughts @lppriceisright @shuriislut @playgurlxoxo @kya-rose @shuriszn @lluvstrksl4t

divider by: @firefly-graphics

note: okay! and we back! i know it's been a minute, but i had to take my time. can't believe i'm finally posting pt. 3 ooh! i really like this chapter and it lays the groundwork for specific things i have planned for future parts. writing from inside riri's head kinda beat my ass though cause she DID NOT want me to tell y'all her tea, but we came to a compromise. reader isn't really in this chapter physically until the very end, but riri be thinking bout her when she brushing her teeth! sorry to the hakeem haters, that's my pookie! zariri hive up! (literally just me) i hope youse enjoy this, she's lengthy (big shocker) but it's justifiable this time cause i've been starving y'all. anyway, mwah mwahh!!

dedicated to my baby, whom i love dearly, @zayswriting more than i should #1 fan™️

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Sleeping; it's the body's way of recharging, the body's way of healing. For most people, sleep was tranquil, with dreaming coming as a necessary escape. Far removed from reality, there was to be solace in slumber — for most.

Riri Williams was not most.

Normally, this made her prideful, contrasting the majority, but what was to be said when your dreams mirrored the reality you wished valiantly to escape?

When it came to sleep, when it came to rest, she envied the mundane. Riri coveted being at peace whenever her eyelids fell. And she yearned for her moments loitering in REM to be more than brief ones.

The scenes behind her lids were recurring — prophesied long before Riri’s skin met her mattress. But despite this premonition, she permitted their slipping from her mind when existing within that slim pocket between consciousness and unconsciousness, and it was then that the monster seized his opportunity, creeping from the closet, on the prowl for his next meal. On the prowl for Riri, and her gorgeous mind, feeding on the memories dwelling inside the grooves of her brain, and forcing her to relive each one as he sucked them out.

This was the part she thought herself able to exploit — the extraction. If the monster removed the recollections for good, she wouldn't have to suffer this constant loop.

It’d been a naïve thought though, because this belief called for compassion. And if the monster — her monster — existed as one comprised of compassion, there would be no nightmares at all. Riri would be able to rest in her own bed, and the caress of another would not be desired when attempting to drift. Though Zariyah’s warmth did nothing to keep her still now as she lay entwined in her arms; he followed her here, to her girl’s place, so on spun the cycle.

Riri’s small body twisted in her girl’s sheets, writhing in distress through the frightening ordeal she’d been compelled to endure over the past few nights. She thrashed, chest tearing itself open to sanction her heart’s escape. Her monster siphoned her brain — grinding its contents with daggered canines — just before vomiting it all back into the young engineer's head so she’d be impelled to recall everything about that day.

Riri became one with the icy sweat clutching her frigid skin, knees jerking with her body's brash kicking, and she whimpered meekly, plunging into the depths of the horrors projected behind shifting eyes.

“Ri…” Riy blew it groggily, her own eyes still locked as she absorbed Riri’s movements. She drew Riri in closer, wanting to be her serenity, but Zariyah was unaware of the violence Riri recounted in her dreams while she spasmed beside her.

Riri launched herself upright, snapping the buckle of her girl’s embrace, gasping for a breath of oxygen as those freezing sweat beads traveling her flesh rolled down with leisure, not caring about the paranoia rocketing through the sinking chest they scaled.

Her monster retreated with a sneer, thwarted off by her abrupt emergence from silk pillows. When Riri’s eyes were open, cowardice swallowed him whole, because he was aware his tactics couldn't work on her barricaded brain now. She knew how to protect herself when she awakened — how to cage her thoughts — and he couldn't manipulate her here, in the real world.

Of all the objects in her familiar setting, it was the essential oil diffuser that steadied Riri's rugged exhales, and she allowed her breathing to emulate the timed puffs expelled by the cream-colored device perched on Zariyah's dresser.

“Ri baby, are you okay?” Zariyah whispered, soft and tired.

Riri glanced back at the naked silhouette of her girl draped in velvet, catching a glimpse of those pouty lips in love with her skin, and she chuckled timidly, watching a half-awake Riy feel around the mattress for her body. “Ri… lay back down, let me hold you.”

“I gotta go, baby.” Her knees indented her bare chest as she spoke, loose smile tightening the second Zariyah tossed that scolding glare her way; it seared, but Riri welcomed its burn, because her shivering frame had yet to fully defrost the chill in her veins.

“Another nightmare, Ri? What's this, the third one this week?”

Third one this week, fifth one this month. But Riri wasn't counting.

“I’m fine, Riy,” It slipped off her lying tongue readily, free-falling from her mouth before dissolving into the gust of Sandalwood oil mugging the air. “Go back to sleep baby, Ima just let myself out.”

Zariyah was unconvinced, and her frustrated sigh consumed a stumbling Riri as she tripped out of bed, fumbling around in the darkness to put her clothes back on. “I know you're not fine. And I need you to get your lil ass back in this bed, Riri.”

Riri wanted that, fuck, she needed it. That incessant voice in the back of her head throbbed so sweetly, pressuring her to climb back in bed, mold into Zariyah, granting her addictive kisses the power to sedate her.

But for unbeknownst reasons, the forces of the universe thought her undeserving of simple pleasures, and Riri lacked the desire to fight back, not with the splitting headache from the fucking lobotomy she just barely survived ringing in her temples. So she made leaving Zariyah's arms her only option. “Z, I can't stay. Not tonight.”

“Riri.”

The smaller girl stilled, Riy’s frigid tone frosting her melting arteries once again, and she rolled her eyes, gaping down at her ever-trembling hands. “Everybody has bad dreams Z, why you making it a national emergency cause I’m getting them?”

“Because I give a damn, Riri. And you been shaking and shit in your sleep for three nights, it's concerning.”

Riri pulled on her hoodie, then turned, capturing the troubled look in her girl's stunning eyes, trouble she put there. Riy sat up, crimson curls peeking out the top of her head scarf as she eyed a fully clothed Riri, allowing the covers to fall from her nakedness.

And her nipple jewelry danced in the dark, hypnotizing Riri from where she stood. The sight alone should be enough to keep her here, her eyes fanning their expanse as she got lost in the work of art that was Zariyah’s illustrated body. Tattoos her fingers traced a few hours ago, piercings that created sinful friction against her build; the memories made her moan aloud, and she chewed her bottom lip when she felt her smirk’s approaching climb.

Riy tossed a pillow her way, full in her force, but she ducked, barely dodging the thing, “Girl, stop staring at my titties and talk to me. I can't stand yo ass, I swear.”

Riri’s laugh was low, and it was mostly genuine on her short walk back to the bedside she previously indented. Mostly. “I said I'm good Z.” Maybe repetition could be enough to persuade, both Zariyah and herself, Riri thought.

She leaned over, puckering her lips in Riy's stern face pleadingly, but Riri was not met with the contact she grew desperate for. Zariyah craned her head to the side, denying Riri’s wet mouth as she crossed her arms, removing the view of her gorgeous breasts as well. “What? I can't get a kiss now?”

“No.”

Riri raised her eyebrow daringly, “No?”

“That's what the fuck I said.” Riy huffed in annoyance, making Riri grin slightly.

“Would it make you feel better if I said it wasn't the same dream every time?” She knew Zariyah wouldn't let her leave without an explanation of sorts, and this wasn't a lie, not entirely. Her nightmares were serial, sure, but there were many angles of that day, and a plethora of memories that could be used to torment Riri’s psyche. And used they were; her monster held no belief in leftovers, so he denied Riri the luxury of leaving any semblance of her trauma untouched.

Riy groaned, “Why the fuck would that make me feel better Riri?”

“They're just dreams, Riy.”

They were just dreams. It's what she told herself anyway, and one day, she would arise from the never-ending nightmare that was life without her dad, and life without her best friend.

Zariyah crawled toward Riri, hooking her chin over her shoulder before pressing a kiss into her sweaty throat. “You promise?”

And Riri’s head sprang immediately, because her nod was practiced. “Yeah.”

Her tremoring word was devoid of credibility, but Zariyah let it suffice, and fuck if Riri wasn't grateful for that; she already felt her lie cracking, her weak facade crumbling, and she wasn't sure either would remain intact if her girl continued the grilling.

Smiling into the hot pecks adorning her neck came with ease and satisfaction as she looped her favorite fingers around her middle. “Z…”

“What is it Ri baby?” She smirked, tongue lapping that sweet little spot she knew drove Riri insane, and when she produced that sigh she sought after, Zariyah pushed off her entirely, settling back into the comfort of her linens.

“You gon gimme my kiss now? Before I go?”

Riy giggled, “Hungry ass always want my mouth all over you.”

“You know I do, Z baby.” Riri stood, turning to face her as she slowly caressed her inked throat, capturing the heat of Zariyah’s mouth on hers. She ingested the flurries of Riy’s moans, anxiously awaiting the assertive way the golden sphere punched into her girl's tongue dominated her own.

It was impossible to stop her fingers’ wandering; Zariyah kneeled undressed for her, whining for her, making Riri feel like everything would be alright if she slipped back into those taunting threads.

“Stay…” Riy practically whimpered it, digits finding their way beneath Riri’s hoodie with a mission, and if she didn't break away soon, said mission would be accomplished.

When they parted, Riri drank in those dazed irises that cared for her, smiling faintly before pressing another peck to Riy’s plump lips. She stroked her cheek, wanting to bask in the gentleness of her girl’s skin, needing the reminder — gentleness was hers to claim if she so chose. It was here, Zariyah was here, quite literally at her fingertips. But she supposed it was more in her nature to fall victim to the universe’s spell, easier to accept haunting dreams and sleepless nights to be her fate.

So she gathered her scattered things in the shadows of the room, inhaling sweet Sandalwood before heading to the door sporting a stupid little grin subject to melting away the minute she left her girl’s presence.

“Bye, baby.” She slung her backpack over her shoulder, gripping the bedroom door as she allowed herself one last look at a worried Zariyah gazing over at her, those bright eyes of hers dimmer now, pleading almost.

“Be s–”

Riri laughed halfheartedly, “Be safe. Yes, I know, ma. I always am.”

•••

Arriving to her classes on time had never been a task Riri prioritized; showing up was enough in her book, and the activity was never to become practiced behavior. But, the terror reposing behind shut eyes served as quite the motivator today, encouraging her to attend each of her classes wide-eyed and hopped up on caffeine.

Riri hadn't even made it back to her dorm after leaving Zariyah’s; she solicited refuge from the freezing walls of her garage instead, and in the challenge of her latest creation.

She'd found herself doing that, building devices she likely had no use for, more so than usual. Riri’s instinct to constantly construct, coupled with her desire to keep her eyes open often resulted in impressive, yet unnecessary productions. Because what could her need for an arm cannon that doubled as a 3-D printer possibly be?

Regardless, it was something to do, so she stayed there, well into the early morning ignoring sleep’s call, and when the Sun climbed the sky, Riri was relieved to have survived yet another night.

Alongside her monster, someone else rummaged through memories she wished to bury — you. As much as the young engineer wrestled the acceptance of it, Riri was aware she’d hurt you that night, she'd caught the slightest glimpse of the expression coloring your features just before the door slammed shut. Regret rushed her immediately after, berating her as she came to a sole conclusion: hurt did not belong on your face. But it was there, because she put it there, and she was not deluded enough to believe she hadn't gone too far.

The physical image of you remained scarce after that night, throughout the week, and this bugged her for reasons she refused to acknowledge. Not being able to deconstruct you as you twitched beneath her watch, not being able to gauge where she stood with you after what she'd done unsettled Riri.

And this too, fueled her timely arrivals. Riri had been skipping all of her classes for the past few days, neglecting the homework she had piling up, disregarding her phone's consistent dinging. Today was Friday though, and Riri liked Fridays.

She got to see you today.

When she strutted into the room, Riri’s feet halted unexpectedly, her white Air Maxes screeching on the floor as her eyes scanned the large, mostly empty space. She was one of three students who'd arrived early, too early, the sound her sneakers made shifting all gazes to her.

“The fuck…” She muttered it under her breath, side-eyeing her professor who seemed astonished to see her. She made the quick journey to her row in the back, the one you two shared, eyes rolling instinctively and Riri sat, lying wait.

Riri knew herself to be impatient, but the extent was forever lost on her before now, before she was made to anticipate your entrance. She exhaled anxiously, leg bouncing as she feasted on the flesh of her raw bottom lip, thus making it the only content she'd ingested all day. Sickening, Riri thought, but her stomach accepted whatever she had to offer; constricting; grumbling as its acids dissolved the dead skin.

Feral eyes darted to the door following the slightest sound of footsteps strolling into the classroom, but she grew irritated every time the person entering wasn't you. Was this normal? Were you late? You couldn't be late, you were never late, she was just uncharacteristically early.

“Someone's sitting there.” She spat at some random blonde girl gunning for your seat.

The girl's smile shook under the obvious agitation Riri laced her words with, but it didn't melt away when she asked, “Who? It's empty right now, I just–”

“Does it matter?” She shoved her backpack into the chair, leering at the girl who’d now gone beet red. “It ain't gonna be you. Move.”

“But I–”

Riri possessed the ability to intimidate, in spite of her height, she also knew her words held force when she said them just right, “Go.” And she watched the girl scurry off with the blow of just the one. She was harmless, only looking for someplace to sit, but why would Riri care? There were plenty of others for her to choose from.

The dreams weren't a force she could control, not for lack of trying, but usually, what she could control was her chosen proximity to you. Riri would refute it if confronted, but being near you remedied, your aura was powerful like that; too powerful, she’d realized, and she despised its dominion over her.

But she couldn't deny she needed it now. So where the fuck were you?

Typical, she thought. Leave it to you to sour her mood, even now, when you were the singular reason she bothered coming in the first place. You aggravated her with ease, without even being present. Her fluctuation between hot and cold when it came to you perplexed her more than any equation taught within these four walls, or any algorithm she dared herself to develop on her many sleepless nights.

Every time she found herself wanting to extend a sliver of kindness your way, you found a way to fuck it up. Why were you like that? Why was she? She waited still however, the coffee she downed adding speed to her already twitching leg.

“Where the fuck–” Riri choked on her words, swallowing them back down as she permitted her eyes boldening when they spotted you prancing into the classroom. They softened, oh so briefly before she denounced the gesture, opting for another eye roll instead. Her gaping brown orbs — designated home to judgment and disgust — betrayed her often, when they focused on you that was. And Riri fucking hated that.

Your hair was done, gorgeous curls now protected underneath long soft locs flowing past your hips, past your ass like cascading fiery falls. They brightened the room and her bleak world alike, leaving her almost breathless.

Ropes of red suited you, she thought, suited your eyes, your face, your dark skin; Red was your color. Never had she thought a shade so vibrant and willful would be made for you, but you existed as a conundrum to Riri. She was staring, waiting, examining you from where she sat; you were speaking to Dr. Lucas, so she nabbed the opportunity.

Riri liked your makeup, she always did. She admired the subtlety of your soft beat, and how it opposed the defiant blaze your hair emitted. Your signature knife-edged eyeliner threatened to stab her as she prolonged her onlooking, making the short scientist curve her lips ever so slightly.

Your sweater though, it wasn't yours. She recognized its washed-out green shade. She knew the zipper no longer worked, and Riri located the small hole just below the left pocket with ease, because she was responsible for it; a very late night, and a joint. You were wearing Hakeem’s sweater, and her insides dropped at the revelation, making her gag just as you looked up at her.

Fuck she was pathetic.

Riri scoffed at her own involuntary sound, exhaling an intake of air as she prepared for you to join her on your shared row. You watched her intently from where you stood in the front, brow arching in that perfect way she liked, signifying you were already annoyed by her glaring. Riri smirked at you, feeling that familiar burst of thrill that slithered through her system whenever the pair of you locked eyes, because she knew she had you, hooked on her line like a fish — you made it too easy.

Except, she didn't have you, and Riri realized this a little too late for comfort. You broke the stare, seemingly unbothered when you plunged into an empty seat on the front row, your body lithe in its descent, and Riri’s right eye mirrored her leg’s tic.

This was not your routine, and deviating wasn't your normal, Riri studied this, learned this, knew this. You were supposed to sit on the last row with her, two seats over from her, and she expected to see your face. It's why she chose this spot at the very beginning of the semester.

Your eyebrows always knitted when your professor spoke, you listened attentively for as long as you could, chewing on your pencil's eraser when deep in thought; she was supposed to witness this. God, your infinite eyes. Riri was meant to view them fluttering shut when you inevitably began dozing off. Your neck was supposed to jerk, you'd spring up, catch her eyes, she'd laugh, and you were supposed to be annoyed that she laughed.

This was your routine. So why the fuck were you sitting in the front row? Why the fuck did you have your back to her? Why the fuck was she being made to stare at your head? And good lord, why in the blue fuck did the distance between the pair of you anger her this much?

Riri didn't like this.

Dr. Lucas’ rambling about visualizing solutions using direction fields and approximating them using Euler’s method made no home in her jumbled brain; his monotone voice worked only to amplify her confusion. Were you ignoring her?

You, ignoring her? The notion didn't even seem plausible the longer she sat with it. Was it because of what she'd done last week?

Riri's eyes were locked on the back of your head for the duration of class, brain mulling over the events of last Saturday night, forcing herself to recount her actions, her words — becoming her own monster as she snarled. Surely you couldn't still be stuck on that. Right? She’d noticed the way you never stayed upset with her for too long, perhaps she could even admit she took advantage of it, because she had not anticipated… this, whatever it was.

It was a slap in the fucking face, she decided. You were trying to piss her off, and it was fucking working.

Her knee continued jumping as she was made to count the brick parts in your hair. It wasn't hard for her to calculate the exact number of locs in your head, she fixated on doing it, guessing, before concluding that it’d be an even number: fifty-two. They were perfect; intricate; precise, just the way you liked things.

You're not a dummy.

She’d hoped the sharp daggers she tossed down at you would at the very least, make you turn with a threatening glower, but you remained forward, fiddling with the broken zipper on that stupid fucking sweater, and Riri remained frustrated. Because she knew you felt them, her pointed daggers; you made no move to dodge them, and you tensed after each throw.

You’re not a dummy. Turn around.

This right here was why she didn't like you, why she couldn't like you, because you played with her, you tested her. She couldn't stand it, blood boiling over the longer she watched your pencil move and wrist flick from behind.

You're not a dummy. But you're behaving like one. Turn the fuck around.

She contemplated moving down to sit beside you, but class ended ahead of her internal battle, and she reprimanded herself for even entertaining the thought immediately.

You were on your feet, quicker than she'd ever seen, trying to escape her; Riri could recognize this because it's what she did, and she'd be lying if she said your exit speed had not been formidable.

But she refused to focus on your ability to impress, because this role reversal quickly became another thing eating at her delicious brain. She stalked you out of class, teeny feet doing what they could to keep up with your long strides; Riri was quick, but it seemed today, you were quicker.

Why the fuck was she resisting the unyielding urge to scream your name as she chased you? Who the hell gave you the right to stride away from her, gracefully at that, like she didn't matter? Who the fuck did you think you were?

Riri didn't like this. She really really hated this. She gasped when her lips parted, your name teasing the tip of her tongue. She bit it back though, enraged. You forced her to stare at your dancing scarlet locs, and perfect swishing hips cloaked by that ugly green fabric as you strutted away from her.

Riri would not allow you to get away with this little attitude you’d adopted. You wore it well though, confidence. Fuck. But she would have to get to the bottom of your shift in behavior. She was not invisible, and you would pay attention to her.

As she backed away, embarrassed, her back collided with the front of another student, sending his things tumbling to the ground, “The fuck is wrong with you? You walking with your eyes closed or something? Don't fucking bump into me are you crazy?!”

“I'm sorry I didn't–”

“Oh! Oh! You didn't?” She mocked, fuming. “Fuck outta my way.” She huffed, stomping off and out the same door you’d just exited, tiny fists balling at her sides.

•••

The weariness Riri fled all day had finally caught up to her, compelling her to permit the shutting of those heavy eyelids. Her torso bent, slumping forward, head plunging down onto her work table where several tools dug into her cheek. Riri didn't care though, in fact, she remained blissfully unaware, drooling all the while as she succumbed to a dreamless nap.

Her garage existed as her refuge, the one place her scavenging monster had yet to infiltrate. She was safe from him here; she could sleep here, without duress. And she slipped immediately, because she was tired, really fucking tired.

The fatigued girl hadn't even relished in the luxury of dozing off for fifteen minutes before a thunderous pounding frightened her awake. Continuous, jarring, and disturbingly rhythmic — Riri allowed the noise to usher her off of her stool, and onto the ground with a grumble. She jetted over to the side door, ready to reprimand the only person she knew to be so obnoxious.

Upon opening it, that sickeningly cheery smile she'd begrudgingly grown to love greeted her, and she grimaced on command. Hakeem marveled down at her whilst patting the crown of her head, teeth, and diamond earrings stinging her slit irises.

“Nigga, the fuck are you doing here?” Riri jerked from under her best friend's touch, holding tightly to her slipping scowl.

He moved her miniature body with zero effort, stepping around her and into the garage, his smile never wavering. “Uh, you texted me goofy.”

“I did?” Keem nodded absentmindedly, wandering deeper into Riri’s sanctuary, becoming enraptured with her latest sketches. “Oh shit… I did.” It was only then that Riri remembered, so caught up in the promise of rest, her actions had completely escaped her. She'd texted Hakeem to come by after his last class, her elusive intention buried beneath the message itself; Riri was hoping — praying — you'd tag along like the puppy you were.

You were back on good terms with him now, well, good enough according to him, and you never seemed to understand when you weren't wanted somewhere, so she figured you'd pout your way into accompanying him. Riri was desperate for a chance to question you about your behavior towards her earlier; she couldn't move past it, despite her efforts. And your blatant disregarding of her existence joined the long line of entities overrunning her busy brain, what was left of it anyway.

Why would you just ignore her like that? You weren't supposed to ignore her like that. You’d never done it before, why now? Why today? The single day where she needed you. So fucking selfish.

Riri craned her neck out the door, almost tripping the longer she extended it, searching for you, waiting for your face to appear in her doorway.

“Don't worry, I ain't bring her this time.”

“What?” She whipped around.

Hakeem chuckled, picking through Riri’s things on her table nosily, “Ooh, what's this?”

“Keep ya nasty lil fingers off my shit,” She strutted over to him. “And what you mean you ain't bring her this time?”

“She ain't wanna come.” He shrugged, completely oblivious to the desperation guiding Riri’s words, and the disappointment coloring her tired lips when they fell. His eyes and lanky fingers were too busy tracing the images on Riri’s board and the scattered parts surrounding it.

You didn't wanna come? Since fucking when?

She cleared her throat awkwardly, dousing the flames crackling in the void of her tummy, “Well, uh, good. Cause I was getting tired of you always dragging her ass around me unannounced.”

“What kinda top secret–” Hakeem's eyes widened, glazing over with a hint of awe, “Riri, is yo ass building an Ironman suit?! Please please please tell me you building an Ironman suit!”

She nearly let her lips curl after noting his legitimate excitement, but she deadpanned instead, face slackening, voice taking on its signature bored infliction, “Yes Hakeem, I'm definitely building a damn Ironman suit.”

Sarcastic and sardonic — the only way Riri knew how to be. Sometimes her cynicism concerned her, like now, as she chose to remain cryptic, when the option of being open with her best friend about her work existed as an easier choice.

“Your sneaky ass would be doing some shit like that.” Hakeem cut his eyes, and Riri rolled hers.

“Anyway! Move away from my things, thank you!” Both palms indented his stomach as she guided him over to her computer screens.

He harrumphed, still suspicious, but ultimately choosing to drop it, making Riri sigh. “What your itty bitty butt call me over here for anyway?”

She prepared for this question; this entire interaction was drummed up immediately after your departure earlier. What she hadn't prepared for, was your absence; it threw her ever so slightly, more so than she would ever admit. “I can't just wanna hang out with my best friend?”

Hakeem laughed, and its vigor shoved Riri into a fit also, settling her anxiety some. “I uh, I need your help finishing up this reprogramming.”

“Ain't no way you called me over here cause you need my help.” Hakeem snorted in disbelief.

He wasn't wrong, she didn't need his help, she didn't need anyone's help, she'd finished this exact project two days prior for another student. But she wouldn't have minded yours. Why didn't you just fucking come like she expected you to? God, you were so damn irritating.

“I um, I do, actually. I was supposed to have it done for one of them rich white kids but, I-I haven't been able to focus on it, or anything school related if we being for real.” She grumbled that last part shyly, but of course Hakeem's fucking elephant ears picked up on it.

He eyed her cautiously, before speaking, “And why you can't focus on anything school-related, Riri?”

“You gon help me or what?” Meeting his eye line didn't present itself as an option, so Riri fiddled with her computer mouse instead, opening the software that had finally downloaded.

“Answer the damn question.”

Riri sighed, shooting the tall boy a brief look. “Don't make a big fucking deal about it, but, the dreams are back.”

“See, I knew it. That's why you was sleeping here and shit? Riri you can't be sleeping in this garage, it's not safe, you–”

“Bruh didn't I just tell yo ass not to make a big deal about it?”

His scrutiny made the scientist flinch; Hakeem could be unnerving when he chose to be, and Riri found his easy way of shifting to be daunting, like the immense pressure felt from his spiky stare, and the abyssal drop in his lively tone could be enough to scare every answer she concealed straight from her drying throat. “Have you been sleeping at all?”

She watched his brows knit, eyes sullen as he regarded her with concern. “A little bit.”

“Mmm, why I don't believe that?”

She huffed, “I was actually tryna sleep a few minutes ago, but your ass pulled up, knocking on my shit like you had a warrant.”

“Riri, you can't sleep here.”

He was right, she knew this, but who would she be if she didn't challenge him? “Nigga you ain't my daddy.”

Bitter words Riri regretted instantly, as she gaped at her silent, staring best friend.

She loathed those eyes of his, the way they perceived her, thawing her frozen facade. She'd labored endlessly to forge her high walls, only for her work to be rendered useless; Hakeem bulldozed straight through their very foundations.

“Ri.”

She shook her head, “Can you just help me?”

“You lucky coding is kinda my shit.” His grin reemerged slowly, like it never left.

Though she still craved sleep, the buzzing inside her was beginning to still, being near Hakeem did that. The pair of friends worked silently next to each other, swift fingers smoothing over keys. Riri was grateful for the company, grateful for her best friend, his willingness to lend his time and mind.

“What are they about? The dreams, I mean.” He caught her eyes when she glanced timidly up at him, and immediately, she snatched them back.

Never had Riri disclosed the contents of her dreams to anyone, not even Hakeem. He knew about her Dad, about Natalie, but she'd kept him in the dark about the details.

“Don't wanna talk about that,” She chewed her lip, mind defying her, running to you when she glanced up at his screen. “And that whole line is wrong.”

He chuckled a little when he realized she was correct, bringing back the annoyance she thought to be previously settled. “Thought coding was your shit.”

“I ain't said I was perfect, bruh damn, ” He picked up on her indignation, good. “How much you getting paid for this anyway? I can get a cut?”

“You be too deep in my damn business, bummy.”

Her patience was bred to be thin, but today, it's like you made it completely nonexistent with your antics. What pissed her off, even more, was that she knew you wouldn't make such a simple mistake like your boyfriend did. You were thorough, rarely did you take your eye off the ball. Riri liked that, and it was probably the only thing she admittedly respected about you.

You should be here right now, assisting her as you did last week, diligently avoiding your boyfriend’s screw up. Instead, you decided to be childish.

But Riri couldn't shake the feeling that you were justified in your avoidance, if that's what you were truly doing. Perhaps you’d drawn a line somewhere and hadn't told her, maybe she crossed it with her actions, her words.

The moments prior to her outburst were enjoyable, she let her guard slip with you, not all the way, but just enough for the conversation to be pleasant. She laughed with you. Your mind intrigued her; called to her, and she felt inclined to answer.

Your hand in hers, your fingers between her own; it was shameful, but your apprehensive responsive full body twitches made it feel not so.

After a while, her stomach churned, scolding her reminiscent thoughts, and her remorseful eyes fanned up to a concentrated Hakeem caught up in correcting his mistake.

“You being real quiet Ri,” He sang, smiling knowingly, moving for the robot sitting on Riri’s messy work table. “Must mean you avoiding telling me something.”

He wasn't even looking at her, his focus set on downloading the firmware to the robot sitting beside the computer, yet somehow, he still decoded her. Riri spoke of walls and their supposed impenetrable builds, but were they ever up around her best friend?

She chuckled dryly remembering the spark of their friendship. A group project last semester forced them to work together, and Riri had every intention to remain guarded when around him. She wanted nothing to do with the popular black boy who spent most of his time partying with white frat guys. He had a reputation, on campus and in her mind.

Riri tried upholding her signature “don't talk to me” persona, but Hakeem bought none of it, and getting her to crack became more important to him than their assignment. Eventually, she did, because he housed a charm like she'd never known, and one could only deny that mischievous smirk for so long. He was quite proud of himself, latching onto her after that, leaving Riri with no choice but to become okay with his presence.

He was loud, rambunctious, extremely audacious, and always searching for the next party. A stark contrast from Riri who just wanted to smoke and build shit in her garage.

“I'm down for that, too,” He’d said. “You’d be surprised what these sexy ass hands can do, I'm tryna tell you.”

“Please don't ever say no shit like that around me again.” She’d retorted, expression wry, allowing him to follow after her.

She soon realized that his company had never been intentional, until her, making the pair an inseparable one.

“Not avoiding anything.” She fibbed, biting back a grin of her own.

Keem pushed the completed robot toward her, eyes narrowed. “Mhmm.”

“Riri, people care about you, you know?” She scoffed, not wanting to hear the spiel he chose to recite every time this happened. “I care–”

“Sappy ass nigga.”

But this time, he hadn't produced that signature laugh she grew accustomed to. Hakeem's dark browns swirled softly with compassion, leaking reassurance, making Riri stiffen as he stepped closer. “I mean it, Riri. You can talk to me, you don't gotta be so closed off all the time and shit.”

“Nigga you tryna kiss me? Back up.” Deflecting was her defense mechanism. She wished to let him in, shit, she probably needed to, but Riri knew she couldn't — wouldn't. Because letting Hakeem in meant opening the door for those feelings she struggled terribly to keep locked out. She could not chance them entering her barriers.

“I gotta go, Ri.” He sighed, defeated. Christ, he should know, he should know that Riri knew. Why did she have to say it out loud? She didn't understand why people required words to know how she felt, about them, about herself; they should just be able to fucking know.

“You need anything else? A hug?” Keem’s smile stretched, and she gagged immediately.

I need to know why your girlfriend is avoiding me.

But you do know why, don't you Riri? Isn't this what you wanted?

“No.”

Hakeem tugged her to him anyway, receiving not a word of protest from his tiny best friend, because she needed this too, this was nice. The space between his shoulders welcomed Riri’s exhausted physique, muscular arms flexing to swaddle her just right. Hakeem's cologne was so strong, so fogging, Riri found herself almost nodding off with her face pressed to his abdomen.

But another scent kept her awake, the faintest whiff of something embarrassingly familiar: You.

That light mist of smoky vanilla and saffron; one she didn't even know she could recognize until now. But there you were, spritzed all over him like you were his. And here Riri was, inhaling you deep, allowing you to enter her lungs as an oxygen dupe whilst her stomach ate itself.

She didn't want to pull away, because pulling away meant you'd be gone again, just like you'd left her earlier. So, she buried her face deeper into his shirt, diving further into your smell until Hakeem's no longer existed in her nostrils, until the aroma of you alone began to drown her, and she sighed.

Hakeem's reverberating chuckle assisted her resurfacing, and Riri grew hot all over when he pecked her atop her braids, burning in her furnace of guilt.

She let him go, rougher than she intended to, but he didn't seem to notice. “I knew yo weird ass wanted to kiss me.”

“I love you, Ri. You know that.”

“Yuck!”

He smiled, using those fucking dimples to unveil her own petulant grin, “I know you love me too. Ima see you, Ri. Try to get some sleep, aight? Preferably in a bed?”

She did love him; Hakeem was the person Riri was closest to, her lifeline, and this sentiment only worked to further her stomach's self-consumption as she watched him drive away.

•••

There was something to be said about an angry Riri Williams on a mission. Those speedy little legs of hers were thrusted forward by rage, her golden R pendant bouncing atop her chest with the same ferocity, clinking in tandem with the other chain adorning her slick neck.

She was hot, and tired, as the Sun blared its rays directly into her cocoa irises, but still, she refrained from turning her fitted hat forward to help shield her eyes. Her steps were so brisk, warm air wooshed in her ears, and the ends of her braids tucked beneath her cap slapped violently against her back.

When her phone buzzed in her fist, she hoisted the screen to her face, eyeballs turning in her head just before she swiped the message away so she could focus on the tiny red dot she was tracking.

She lowered the device, storming toward her target with a stern face.

“I see that phone still work.” She approached the brown-haired boy sitting with his friends, his face falling the second he took in her wild expression.

“Uh, hey Riri, what–” She snatched it from his stubby fingers, eyes fixated on the way they trembled when they lost their grip on the thing.

It was unlocked, great, less work for her. “You sitting up here real comfortable, snacking and shit, like youn owe me a band, and change.” Her vision was trained on the iPhone she seized, scrolling through various apps until the one she sought jumped out at her: Venmo.

“Sorry, I uh, I forgot. But I thought we agreed on seven hundred.” The boy peered over at his alarmed friends.

He attempted to reach for his phone, but he'd underestimated Riri’s guile. She anticipated his move long before he made it, stepping back, holding the device to her person. “Yeah, two days ago maybe, but prices go up the longer you take to run my shit.”

He was fidgeting, and Riri let her smirk curl, entertained by him. “Look, I did most of the work, I think it's fair that–”

“I’m the reason you got that grade you got.” She stated plainly, bored of the back and forth. She awarded herself the desired amount, allowing the defeated boy to take hold of his property once she no longer had use for it, and she plastered her face with a faux smile as she bobbed away.

“Fucking white people.” She mumbled with a head shake, turning her phone off completely as a measure to dodge the emails from her therapist she refused to respond to.

Riri plucked her nose from her phone, the Sun still working to abuse her eyes, and it was then that she saw you.

Steady flows of molten lava scorching her retinas, the rays emitted by the sky's ball of fire made an afterthought now. Riri’s legs stilled, her pupils dilating under the beams of your hair. She knew how she must've looked, gaping at you the way she did, out in the open, and her unwillingness to care mixed her mind. But she couldn't, care that was, not at the moment.

You wore that hideous green thing still; Riri was unaware of her disdain for the sweater until today. How many times had she seen Hakeem in it without batting an eye? It wasn't even cold out, like at all. Why did you have it on? You were so fucking odd.

Warm air blew your locs to and fro as you inched closer to her, making her hold her breath with each step you took.

You weren't looking at her yet, but surely you felt her eyes on you, on the way you clasped your backpack, on your nails. She hadn't noticed them in class, because your stubborn ass hadn't given her a chance to, but your nails matched your hair now. When she saw them last, was the night she held them, they were purple then.

They were still as long, still as dangerous, except now, they were painted red, much like the blood heating her ears.

Riri braced herself for impact; you were inches away, eyes boring directly into hers, so she fixed her lips into a hard line, something menacing, something deterring. She wouldn't speak first, no. In Riri’s mind, you were even, she was mean to you, you retaliated by ignoring her, so you were even.

You were so close, your perfume kissed her skin, and she smirked when your eyebrow jumped. Jackpot, this intense eye contact was to be her in.

But again, you’d managed to con her into believing she would be getting your attention. You didn't stop, your feet brought you to her, bypassing her, and you bumped her shoulder in the process without so much as a word. Riri was stunned, at a loss, as she whipped around to see you marching away from her for a second time today.

She resisted the urge to stomp her foot like a child. Riri was short, not fucking invisible. Where the hell did you get off? Why were you getting to her this much? You shouldn't be able to.

She blamed it on her lack of sleep, because was there another conclusion to be drawn? She couldn't, wouldn't, draw one.

With one last look over her shoulder, Riri headed in the other direction, dragging her heavy limbs back to her dorm with the hope of sleeping your likeness away.

•••

Riri lay unmoving on her bed, heart stunned into a sprint after yet another gruesome attack. She was awake, but locked lids provided aid in keeping her eyeballs off of the closet door in the distance.

That's where he resided, her monster, snickering in amusement at the state in which he left her.

Her dorm steeped in moonlight when she unstuck her face from her pillow, bathing her damp skin in streams that cooled. Riri’s vision barely existed as her eyes darted around the room, but despite this, her wells found the recently stripped photograph taped to her wall. She hadn't the heart to reframe it; keeping the film near loosened her constricting chest on nights like these. A slanted gaze trailed to the digital clock on her desk: 12:04 a.m. At least she’d slept some.

Riri sighed, hands moving before her brain could stop her, and she reached for her phone, scrolling through her recent calls before her thumb hovered hesitantly.

One ring, two rings, three.

She was going to hang up, having regretted the act already. No way h–

“Hey, wassup?” Hakeem's voice sounded groggy, oh good, she'd woken him. Surprising, Riri thought, a Friday night spent indoors was not his normal. “Nah, it's just Ri, baby girl.” So you were with him, and she'd woken the both of you with her desperate little phone call. Amazing.

Were you at his place? In his bed? Or, was he in yours? That image, the one of the two of you sharing the same sheets, was not one she needed on her conscience, so she did away with the thought, just as she pretended not to feel her tension band tighten in her abdomen.

“Yo, Ri, you good?” She remained silent on her end, thinking, spinning, spiraling inside her warped mind.

This call was a mistake. “Sorry, I uh, I didn't–”

“I'm on the way.” And then she was made to listen to that beep, beep, beep; Hakeem hadn't given her a chance to decline, not that she'd wanted him to. It’s why she called him, because Riri knew he'd know, without her having to say it.

She was shoving her head through the neck of her hoodie when her phone pinged, and she rushed to it.

Bestie Westie: I'm outside.

Riri rolled her eyes at the contact name every single time Hakeem texted her, she had no hand in it, but she wouldn't dare change it. She slipped her feet into her crocs after grabbing her phone and keys, making her way to her awaiting best friend.

Upon opening Hakeem's car door, a wave of heady Vanilla crashed onto her, its current forceful, and deliberate as hell, making Riri scoff. What the fuck did you do? Douse the seats in your fucking perfume just to taunt her? Three times now she'd been assaulted by your smell, three times she recognized it on command. Riri valued consistency, somewhat, she liked a pattern, but this one, this pattern of you — she was not fond of it.

She’d zoned out, Riri realized, involuntarily floating on the aroma surrounding her, and it was Hakeem’s voice that brought her back. “You getting in, Ri?”

“Yeah.” She collected herself, exhaling as she stepped into the car with a shy smile that Keem reciprocated, allowing her best friend to drive her off into the void of the inky night.

•••

“Wish Freeda’s was twenty-four-seven, could really use some fries right now.” Riri’s lips separated, preparing themselves to once again come in contact with the burning blunt her fingers clasped. Her drag was long, smoke gliding down her throat, collecting in her lungs as she held it, awaiting that familiar burn she craved. And then she exhaled, billows of white clouds blowing from her mouth.

“You and them damn salty ass fries.” Hakeem teased with a laugh that should be deemed too enthusiastic, even for him, but his high guided it, and Riri was stoned enough to match it.

She sipped her Slurpee, passing the blunt over, watching him accept it leisurely through hooded eyes. When the straw left her tongue, she slurred, “Look, that seasoned salt ain't nun to play with. Ion know what to tell you.”

“Seasoned salt my ass, swear Ion see your itty bitty butt eat nothing else. What that cholesterol looking like?”

The girl damn near cackled under the slow drum of the question, and Riri shook her head with a loose smile. “Cholesterol? Nigga, the fuck, I look fifty-five to you? I ain't worried bout no damn cholesterol.”

“What are you worried bout then? Cause I know it's something,” Hakeem took a hit, eyeing Riri tentatively where she sat with her back against the door. “That's when the dreams come back, right?”

His seat was halfway reclined, and he puffed a breath of smoke up toward the car's ceiling, adding to the haze existing around them already. He waited, foreseeing her hesitation before even she did, humming along with the song wafting out his speakers, patient as ever.

Riri didn't like this, she knew the question was underway, but she really fucking hated it; vulnerability was not a carried skill. She wanted to enjoy her high, to forget, momentarily, that her feelings were her enemy, and her brain was their friend. “I told you Ion wanna talk about that shit.”

“No, you said youn wanna talk about what goes down in your dreams. That's cool. But, I ain't asking bout that, I'm asking bout what's causing them, small fry.” He shot her a wink, or what she perceived to be one, smiling lazily.

Riri grimaced, vermilion-stained eyes regarding him with the utmost contempt, “Call me that again, see what happens.”

“Riri, you not getting off that easy. Now talk to me.”

A beat of silence befell them, per Riri’s doing, and she sucked her straw in again, forcing the taste of mango-lemonade to wash her mouth, needing it to pacify her speech. “Guess I'm just stressed,” She spoke after a while, and Hakeem bobbed his head.

“Okay. What's stressing you out, small fry?” He exhaled, a gust of gas following his words.

“Nigga.”

“Ri.”

The wrap touched her digits once again, and the drug entered her system, along with that fucking smell, your fucking smell, that for whatever reason, chose to follow her. “Ion know. I’ve just been feeling real weird over the past three months. And no the dreams ain't been back for that long. I just feel off.”

“Your classes?”

“No, well kinda this week, but not usually. Ion know what it is.” Except she did know, and she wished desperately to unknow; Riri wanted her lie to ring true, but, she had your perfume in her lungs right now, it was acquainted with her nose, her bloodstream. God, she could fucking taste it — taste you — there was no way for her to unknow that.

Hakeem tutted, and Riri’s eyes rolled. “Wrong answer.”

“What?”

“Ri, you know I know you. And I know when you fixing them lips to lie to me.” His arm extended, pinching her chin, and she recoiled in disgust.

“Eww. Weird ass nigga, don't touch me.”

He snatched the dwindling blunt from her, taking the last hit before placing all attention on his tightly wound best friend. “Soooo, you gon tell me?”

Riri huffed, swigging her Slurpee, her body unconsciously rocking to the current song. “I just told you Ion know what the fuck I got going on.”

“Sticking with your lie. Okay,” He threw his hands up. “You and Riy good?”

Riri giggled automatically, be it because of the weed, or just the fondness she held for the tattooed girl, she didn't know, nor did she mind. “Yeah. We good.”

He shook his head, “See, Ion understand you man.”

“Nobody gets me Keem, that's how I like it.”

“Ha.” He laughed dryly, “I mean ion understand how you have a baddie like Zariyah, and still playing games, you know shawty want you.”

“And she has me.”

He tossed her a challenging glare. “Y’all official?”

Hakeem was right, rarely was he ever wrong when shrinking her brain. Riri could admit that internally, but never aloud, because then she'd have to own her shit, and she didn't see herself able to. Not yet. “Man, whatever.”

“If I was you… Damn, what would I do with all that if I was you? Damn. Like shit Riri, the fuck is wrong with you for real?”

“Nigga, don't you got a girl?”

“You gon tell her?”

Riri deadpanned, wincing at the thought of you avoiding her entirely. “Like I would willingly talk to her.”

“Guessing y’all lil study session ain't go well last week? She been dodging yo ass like the plague.” He chuckled.

She couldn't pretend this blatant confirmation didn't pack a punch, even if it’d been clear as day. You were avoiding her. Hakeem pushed it into the open, and he found hilarity in your behavior. Riri on the other hand, could not pinpoint which of the sensations incited by your behavior bloomed the strongest in her depths. Anger? Irritation? Bewilderment?

Or could it be the one that lay dormant in her body until today, the sole sensation she detested, and refused to give attention to? “You shouldn't have sent her irritating ass to come check up on me.”

“Aye, watch it,” She heeded his warning, but not without an eye roll, of course. “You ungrateful as hell, you know that?”

Riri pouted. Its appearance on her face would never be permitted outside of this setting, outside of Hakeem's presence; she was too high to wipe it away. “I ain't need no babysitter.”

“Evidently you do, small fry. Yo ass need supervision, since you can't seem to sleep in your bed.” Hakeem spat his words playfully, but Riri knew him well enough to place his trepidation, about her, about her stressors.

“Stop calling me that shit.”

“Stop deflecting.”

“Whatever nigga.”

He was trying, and failing, to readjust his seat when he blew the chilling question her way, and maybe the fog in the car’s air created a mirage before her, because Riri was certain Hakeem's words frosted the melted dregs of her syrupy drink once again. “Why youn like her anyway?”

This sight of him, struggling with his worn-out car, should be comical. She should laugh. But, she couldn't, because this question, and its intrusiveness, stunned her into stillness in the passenger seat. “W-What?”

“Why youn like my girl? She ain't never did shit to you for real, but you always on her. Why?”

Riri Williams was a super-genius, and prior to this instance, there was no equation she thought herself unable to solve, no question she believed existed without a complementing answer. With effort, and a little elbow grease, she was usually able to make the seemingly impossible, possible. But that ceased to be the case now — she did not possess the response her best friend was in search of.

Because you were unsolvable. Her answers did not compliment you.

“Ion gotta like everybody, Hakeem. I barely like yo ass.”

And though she never presented herself as a friend, Riri had to thank the universe still, along with the high dazing Hakeem's expression as he started the car without another word, leaving Riri alone with the question he'd tossed out, blissfully ignorant to the damage he'd just done.

She fiddled with the pendant dangling around her neck, the pad of her thumb grazing the letter as she pondered: Why didn't she like you?

You were in her veins right now — she was gone off your smell. She liked that. So why didn't she like you?

Riri rolled the window down, basking in the cool air nipping her heightened skin as she poked her face out like a thrilled dog, resisting the tempting urge to actually stick her tongue out playfully. If Hakeem could dismiss his words so readily, why couldn't she? So, it's what she chose to do, in her final attempt to reclaim the lastings of her sanity.

The drive back to her dorm carried a consoling quietness, save for the silky whispers Hakeem's speakers breezed out, his pressing question long lapsed in her head. She hummed, eyes low as she made way for a goofy little grin to cross her once-contorted features.

“You good, Ri?” And for once she could answer this question truthfully, because Riri was indeed good, better than good — perfect.

She nodded, glimpsing at his matching smile before he stepped out of the car. “Aight, come on.”

Once back in her room, Riri fused to her mattress again, this time lacking fear. Because Hakeem was here, his warmth capable of keeping her monster at bay. He found the taste of Riri’s security to be rancid, refusing to feed when protection blanketed her.

“Wait, before I get in,” Hakeem kicked his shoes off at the door, his voice interrupting Riri’s thoughts of a peaceful undertaking. “Was you fucking in this bed recently, Riri?”

She leered up at him blankly with an unamused expression. He was smirking, brow cocked, expectancy apparent on his smug face. What an insufferable man, befriending him had to honestly be her biggest mistake.

“Nigga, if I was, I definitely changed the sheets. Now, be a damn gentleman and hold me, I’m fragile.”

Hakeem gagged dramatically. Riri wanted to smack him, but unfortunately, luck remained planted at his dreadful side, because her approaching drowsiness advised against the attack.

After placing his phone on Riri’s side table, Hakeem scooted in behind her, still smirking, still giggling as his lanky arms engulfed her far smaller build, and Riri begrudgingly relaxed into him, eyes barely shut before a new set of words attacked her ears, “Fragile cause you be getting that ass tore up? Zariyah be doing the bending, don't she? See I knew it, I–”

“I'm so damn close to strangling you. Shut up and go the fuck to sleep, goddamn. Don't never know when to stop talking.”

He laughed, pulling her closer with a loud sigh. Riri was seconds away from the sleep she sought when Keem's phone buzzed beside her, so naturally, she took a gander, coming face to face with a photo of you as his lockscreen, the notification ceasing to matter now.

Chasmal brown eyes spilling mirth as you cheesed at your photographer, who she presumed to be the boy knocked out in her bed. She studied every corner of your face, completely enamored by your skin’s deepness, before the screen went black again. It was so fucking swift, the way you'd wormed your way back into her head, a task you'd perfected it seemed, even in absence.

She lay there for a while, stewing. Shame should devour her entirely for what she did next, lord, it was low, and if the mocking rattle drumming inside her closet was to be indication, her monster agreed.

She was still high enough to cast blame on the indica she'd ingested, and a snoring Hakeem bore no threat. So, Riri tapped the phone again, your shining smile eliciting a gentle, dopey one of her own. The light faded, taking her consciousness with it. Tangled in your boyfriend's arms — Riri allowed you to paint your portrait behind her lids — becoming her solace as she slumbered.

•••

Sunlight seeped through Riri’s array of windows, blazing streaks greeting her first for once, instead of the other way around when she pushed her eyes open. They panned around her brightened room cautiously, still grappling with the belief of staying shut throughout the night.

Hakeem was nowhere to be found, but this was hardly surprising, the only thing remaining in his wake being the sticky note pressed to her forehead, his signature way of announcing his departure. Usually, the impact between paper meeting skin stirred her awake, but this time, he’d slipped out with stealth.

She peeled the small square off her face, scoffing at the blurry vision of his atrocious handwriting. The only legible words were ‘text me’ scribbled below a drawing of some kind, and she blew a laugh, sitting up to reach for her phone perched on her side table.

The action birthed remembrance, as she sat, glaring blankly at her phone screen. She wasn't high anymore, meaning acceptance shadowed her unwanted remembering — Riri dreamt of you. Your smile, your eyes, your fucking hair, God, you were everywhere in her mind as she slept. And she was awake now, compelled to reflect on this truth.

It was getting out of hand, her seemingly inescapable fixation with you, and quite frankly she was fucking over your witchy ways. This was her line drawing, you didn't get to infiltrate her life and her REM cycle, even if your kind eyes offered her the best sleep she'd had in weeks. She had to put a stop to this — she had to see you.

Riri: Lemme take you out.

Her phone buzzed in her palm two seconds later, making her eyes roll expectedly as she grinned, hitting answer. “You know, when people text you it's prolly cause they don't wanna be on the phone with you.”

“And when you get asked out, it ain't usually through a half-assed text message.” Zariyah chimed, her smooth voice washing over Riri like honey.

She laughed, timid and jeering as she bit her lip, imagining the smile that must also be on her girl's face. “What you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. That ain't how you ask nobody out. You wanna try again, lil mamas?”

“Man, you wanna go out or not? Cause ain't no–”

Zariyah’s reprimanding pitch held all of its ferocity through the phone, and it’d be a lie to say Riri didn't seek her girl’s signature bite, “Uh-uh, I don't play with you like that Riri, watch that mouth. I ain't one a them.”

“Oh you not?” She quipped, twirling the end of her braids poking out from under her scarf.

“Nah. Now ask me out properly before I hang up this damn phone.”

She waited a few beats, deliberately trying to piss off the gorgeous girl on the other line. “Ain't you the one who called me though? You the one who wanted to be on my line, right?” Her smirk played in her words, forming fully when she tuned in to that inevitable sigh of frustration she perked her ears up for.

“Riri. Don't piss–”

Riri’s fingers massaged the necklace clasped around her neck, kicking her dangling feet as she spoke, “I would like to take you out Zariyah. You gon let me?”

“That really ain't no better. But, I guess I can squeeze you into my oh-so-busy schedule. When's this date? This is a date right?” Riri detected the twinge of uncertainty lacing Zariyah’s questions, which only broadened her sly little grin.

“It can be a date,” She started, shaking her head at the butterflies waking in her depths. “Tonight?”

Zariyah giggled, “Tonight works. Where you taking me?”

“Just be ready by seven, which for you is really eight, cause you know how you be.” Riri teased.

She could feel the eye roll hurled her way, and Zariyah’s tone of voice gave away her faux annoyance. “Oh don't do me. Ima be ready when I’m ready, how bout that!”

“Okay Z,” She conceded. “Ima see you tonight.”

“See you tonight, Ri baby.”

She clobbered out of bed after ending the call with the dumbest little smile, socked feet dragging her to the bathroom. It only lasted so long though.

Riri glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror, hoisting her damp toothbrush to her mouth just as flashes of your lips flooded her senses, and she resisted the urge to smash her head into the mirror before her. Maybe a self-induced concussion could scrub you from her memory.

•••

“Riri, when you said you was taking me out, this ain't what I had in mind.” Zariyah’s complaints were predictable, making Riri shake her head at the red-haired girl straggling behind her.

She tossed her question back, already aware of the response she'd get from this as well. “What, you too bougie for Freeda’s now?”

“Yes.”

She stuffed her fist into her pocket, striding languidly to the door with that silly grin curling her mouth. Freeda's wouldn't typically be a designated date spot for Riri either, but she had to admit her intentions for the night surpassed the innocence of simply taking Zariyah out.

She wanted to see you.

You didn't get to act like she wasn't worthy of acknowledgment. And showing up to your job was sort of her last resort, because you couldn't avoid her here. Showing up alone, however, that could send the wrong message, hence, the Zariyah of it all. “Girl, shut up and come on.”

She opened the door, holding it wide for her unimpressed girl, but she smiled still, because Riri had that effect on her.

“Welcome in, Ima be with y’all in a minute. Just sit wherever.” You hadn't turned as you spoke, but your drawl made Riri shudder all the same. A rehearsed line, she'd heard it countless times on her many visits to the diner, but when you said it now, her hot blood ran cold.

She smirked to herself as she realized; Riri had missed the sound of your voice.

“Alright,” When you approached their booth, bewilderment charged your deep eyes, your forever-taut shoulders tensing in understanding. “H-Hey y’all…”

Oh, fucking finally, she’d cornered you, regaining her status, once again, as cat to your mouse. You couldn't run, the panicked lightning in your irises vindicating this fact, and Riri smirked, content with where she had you now.

Your eyes competed with hers, vehement, determined, wanting desperately not to falter. You were struggling under her scrutiny though, she could tell. And for whatever reason, it pleased her, knowing that even after your decision to steer clear of her, the cards belonged to her still.

“Aww Ri baby, Keem’s girl works here! Hi cutie. I love your hair!”

“Yeah,” Her eyes stalked your uniform, sly as ever, noticing the abrupt inhale you failed to bury. Your rising chest would pass anyone by, but not Riri, because she reveled in your body's mechanical reaction to her staring. You couldn't help it, poor thing.

God, she missed eyeing you until you shook under her unwavering gleam. She missed your face. Fuck. “She do.”

You cleared your throat, evidently uncomfortable with all of this, red nails strangling the pen in your vice grip. It was an intense sight to behold, a tad amusing, and it replenished Riri's weakened ego. “Uh, th-thanks. Can I start y’all off with s-some drinks?”

Riri couldn't speak, far too bewitched by your hair hissing her name, drawing her in close, close, closer until she caught herself sliding to the edge of the booth, causing you to back up some with a broken exhale. Her skin heated, attention fleeting your face as she scratched her neck awkwardly.

She understood it now, her sudden draw to you. It was your hair’s doing. Fucking Medusa. But with the ability to liquefy rather than harden.

Your hand pranced across the pad as you wrote what she could only assume to be Zariyah's order, she wasn't paying attention, her focus now collared by the jarring thing she thought to be impending: an eruption of blue ink. She pitied that pen, unaware that it’d just become a weapon of mass destruction. You were similar to the writing utensil in that regard; you too remained heedless to your power.

If only Riri was to be so lucky, because she knew the might you held, she fucking felt it. It's the same sensation she vied for yesterday in class, the same force she allowed to plunder her dreams. It was here now, bombarding her senses as you stood so close, colluding with your conniving fragrance.

That crackle of saffron she could recognize with the faintest intake of air.

“And uh, for you, Riri? You know what you want too or you need a minute?”

When you said her name she internalized how your soft eyes hardened, at the same moment hers melted completely. “Fries and a coke.”

“That's all you getting, baby? You sure?”

She nodded, head dancing to the beat of your hair's song.

“Okay. Ima get these in for y’all.” You smiled at an ever-clueless Zariyah, and Riri would trip into that too, if it weren't feigned.

Riy reached across the table, tattooed hands cupping Riri’s, “Ri, oh my god, guess what happened at work today!”

You walked away, tossing loose red tendrils over your shoulder as you dismissed Riri like an afterthought, and she couldn't help the flare of irritation sparking in her chest. “What happened at work today, baby?”

Riri had zoned out when Riy began her ramblings about the number of holes she poked in the faces of strangers at work, becoming distracted when a completely different server brought their drinks out. Was this another attempt to stay away from her?

She stalked your steps as you moved to clear a recently departed table, and she figured no time like the present.

“Z, I gotta go um, ask shawty bout an assignment for class,” She pointed to you. “Ima be right back.”

Zariyah nodded, smiling shyly, “Don't go too far. I'm gon miss you.”

“You're cute.” Riri huffed a laugh before standing, stepping out of the booth to make her way over to where you worked.

She followed the wave of your perfume, stopping short when she almost bumped into you. “Shit, my fault.”

“The fuck do you want Riri?”

“Oh we cussing now? That's crazy.” Her words worked only to piss you off, making Riri smirk some when they woke that breathing vein in your temple. “Talking to me like I’m Keem or something.”

“Riri, your food gon be out in a minute. Just go back to your girlfriend and let me do my fucking job.” You faced away from her, swiping the rag in your fist over the same spot for the seventh time since she approached you.

Riri chuckled, intrigued to see how far she could get with this unfamiliar version of you. “Bussing tables ain't really that hard though, is it?”

Your grip on the soaked cloth tightened, suffering the same fate as that mangled little blue pen from moments ago. “What the fuck–”

“That the only cuss word you know?” Her hip pressed into the table, vision trained on the soapy water gushing from the rag you were choking.

“Maybe. You know us dummies don't really got much going on up here.” You gestured to your head, knocking your finger directly against the vein blinking there.

She kissed her teeth, “You still on that?”

“If you not here to apologize, then Ima need you to get the fuck out my face, Riri.”

Riri barked a laugh, you were fucking hilarious. “Apologize? Ain't yo ass the one who broke my shit? I think them fumes you inhaling right now might actually be affecting your lil smarts, cause if anybody deserves an apology, it's me.”

You dropped the rag, regarding her fully now, your emotionless expression making her feel smaller than she actually was. Riri found herself wanting to breathe in your frustration as you blew it down to her, but she refrained. She shouldn't. She wouldn't. She could not. “Ion have time for this.”

“Okay, okay. My bad, damn.”

“Your bad?”

“Yes.”

You narrowed your eyes, your expression brittle as its dust landed on the small engineer stood in front of you, dry words bristling her entire body, you hadn't seemed to notice though. Because you didn't care, Riri realized. “And what is my bad supposed to mean?”

“Girl, the fuck is with your lil attitude? You said you wanted an apology, and your ungrateful ass–”

Your laughter carried, and it was loud enough to garner unwanted glances, including one from a rather bored-looking Zariyah at the far end of the diner. “Maybe Keem wasn't lying when he said your lil ass was funny, cause if this is your definition of an apology, we gotta get you on a stage and shove a microphone in them baby fists. It's giving comedian for real.”

This was the first time Riri Williams found herself lacking a comeback.

An empty stare colored her face as she watched your attempt to vacate her presence, leaving her brain with only one viable option.

She didn't stop her arm’s extension when it reached for you, and you hadn't protested when her skin touched yours. She held you in place, dismissing the intrusive thought encouraging her to tug you in closer. She couldn't do that.

You kept your flared eyes on her fingers wrapped around you, sighing unsteadily, the contact overwhelming you. Riri could tell, though she was unsure if this was her goal. She spared a glance at Zariyah who still peered at the two of you curiously, trying, and failing to care about the visual your current positions must be emitting.

“I ain't mean all that shit from the other night.”

“All what shit?” Shaky, damn near breathless — your tone from earlier had betrayed you, stealing your confidence, and placing it directly in Riri’s palm for her to do with it what she wished.

Her voice was softer when she spoke to you this time, housing patience as she refused to let you go. “I shouldn't have slammed the door in your face. I know that, I can own that. I know you ain't mean to break my shit.”

The slow creep of your smirk alerted her that she was wrong; your assurance had not waned; it blossomed, and her hand indeed remained empty. Blackness guzzled your eyes, and Riri was forced to watch as their mirth disappeared.

“Aww, you want a cookie? You ain't order one, but we got some in the back,” You pointed over your shoulder. “Ain't nothing you just said worth a damn to me. You don't get to show up at my job with some bootleg apology cause your guilty conscience keeping you up at night, nah, shit don't work like that.” You snarled, yanking your wrist free wickedly, pointing to the server bringing out her food. “Your food’s out.”

Again, Riri was left dumbfounded by your astute observations about her as you sauntered off to the back, your ruby serpents admonishing her with their sway. Their once euphonic hiss turned into lethal venom spat directly into her face, aiding her reluctant hand in concurrence — you’d turned her into the mouse she once chased.

Maybe she’d misconstrued just how powerful you really were.

“Ri baby, the food’s here.” Zariyah called, rescuing Riri just as she was about to sink into her mind’s rapids, and she smiled on her trot back to the table, abandoning her seat across from the taller girl, opting to sit directly beside her instead.

Riy gaped at Riri for a second, but she didn't question their new seating arrangement. “Everything good with your assignment?”

“Huh? Oh, um, yeah.” She upheld her lie, pecking Zariyah on the cheek. “I tell you how fine you look tonight?”

“Girl, eat them fries.” Riy rolled her eyes.

Riri laughed, but did as she was told, sliding a greasy fry onto her starving tongue.

Tastebuds tangoed with the flavor skipping across them, and she blushed, like actually blushed, the hot flush of sudden embarrassment baking her skin. Riri hadn't asked for seasoned salt on her fries, in all honesty, she'd forgotten to, too caught up in you and your embers. But there it was, sprinkled across her food just the way she liked it, and a small smile scratched its way free, etching its shape deep into her face when she noticed your emergence from the kitchen.

Exhausted eyes averted her vicinity, but Riri stared anyway, because once her gaze met your face, it was usually hard for her to rip it away. You could've requested the cook spit in her food, and it probably would've been justified, but you didn't. Instead, you did what you always did, you perplexed her just by being.

Even though you were angry at her, you thought of her still. You were like her in that regard.

The blush crawling her body stayed put the longer her pupils gawked at you. You were putting your hair in a ponytail, all fifty-two faux locs, well, except for one in the back. You missed that one. Riri didn't; it's where she fixed her brown orbs, on that lone loc dangling and tickling your pretty neck.

You were facing her now, the sear of her stare steering your turn. Irritation rested on your cheeks still, but it held no relevance, as she smirked at you, because your eyes had regained their mirth-filled deepness, and it took only the gentlest flick of your lips for her to plummet into their abyss completely unguarded.

As her smirk slackened, Riri felt her Earth shake, her highest walls deteriorating and coming undone all around her. The feelings she wrestled to keep outside would soon be awarded entry, and Hakeem's haunting question was on the verge of gaining an answer.

She kept watch of you, gulping down the remnants of potato in her mouth before surrendering.

Riri liked you.

And the acceptance of this truth scared her shitless, exposing her helpless little body to a creature far more petrifying than a measly little monster in the closet.

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strayflowersstarsandlove · 4 months

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Busan (hwanghyunjin)

Author's note: for some reason every time I write of Hyunjin's I end up with lenghty paragraphs I don't know why, he triggers the writers in me idk I love this man💀💀 anyways this one can definitely be read as a standalone as most if not all my longer writings! reading Preoccupied first might give you a little additional context but it's not essential 💖

"I don't know... What if he's just not that into me?", you puff your cheeks out and cross your arms tightly across your chest, trying to keep warm in the chilly early morning breeze, shifting your weight on your feet from side to side, "bullshit! He is so into you! He's just shy", Changbin whines, only pretending to be annoyed at you as he pinches and pokes your cheeks until you start giggling.You were currently waiting for the whole gang to arrive at the train station for a day trip to Busan.

Originally it was supposed to be just you and Hyunjin, Changbin and your other best friend, Changbin's girlfriend, a double date of sorts. It only ended up being a group outing because Jeongin overheard you guys talking as you were planning the day and decided he wanted to be your tourist guide and then Han overhead Jeongin and felt excluded from the activities so he invited himself and Minho along, and one member led another and so you ended up being stuck with 6 other people on your date.

Which wasn't inherently a bad thing, ever since you and Hyunjin had started seeing each other after meeting at a party, you had had the chance to hang with all of them and you quickly understood just how tight knit and lovely they all were, you thoroughly enjoyed spending time with them and always ending up your day with cramps from all the laughing.

This time you just wanted to be alone with Hyunjin though. You had been going on multiple dates in the last few couple of months, each and every one of them had been great and you could tell that you were getting closer. But he hadn't popped the question yet and you were way too shy to do it yourself. You thought that maybe a change of scenery and the beach would have set the perfect occasion for either of you to try and make the move but even when Lexy had to pull out due to a nasty stomach bug, you were still left with 7 more people on said scenery, Changbin being the sulky one too cause he missed his girlfriend dearly.

You stuff your hands in your pockets and hum to yourself, still mulling over your best friend's words, absentmindedly kicking at the dirt beneath your feet, "he will ask you to be his girlfriend, y/n. I promise. I think he's just trying to find the courage. He made the first move already by kissing you and asking you out, which is out of character for him, give him a little time". Changbin serious, softer tone comforts you a little, you smile weakly at him and nod, "I'm willing to give him all the time he needs, I just wish I knew if he's into me as much as I am into him. I can be very clingy and boring and overall uninteresting, I wouldn't blame him if he just decided I'm not worth it".

Your best friend sighs frustratedly and forcefully engulfs you in a big bear hug, "yah! Don't ever say that again, you hear me? You are so worth it, you're exactly his ideal type too. Hyunjin-ah is just fundamentally shy and he got burned on his last relationship. I'm sure he's just trying to feel this out a little after he dived in head first and got broken hearted. He falls in love so quickly, trusts so easily, he's such a sensitive, reserved person it's amazing he felt this comfortable and outgoing with you so far. He's gonna fully come out of his shell, trust me".

You hug him back very tightly and mumble your thanks and are about to reassure him you understood what he said completely when you hear a loud yell followed by some ridiculous bickering in the distance and soon enough Han and Minho emerge from the car park, shortly followed by Chan and Felix, with Seugmin in tow. They all look so happy to see you and greet you so warmly you instantly cheer up. Even more so when you see Jeongin in the distance, he's fixing his hair amenably after an overtly excited Hyunjin has basically jumped on his back to ruffle it over and over. You can hear him giggle all the way from your spot and can't help but feel a soft, warm rush to your chest.

When they finally walk over to the group Hyunjin beelines to you. He pulls you close and kisses the top of your head while squeezing your hand, smiling softly at you, his demeanor still bubbly and hyper but more tender, softer when he greets you, "hi", he beams at you, his sweet smile reaching his eyes as you reciprocate the gesture and ask him how he's doing today, to which he solemnly replies that he's excited for the day, and a little twinkling in his eyes confirms that. God he's so cute.

The train compartments are divided into four seats each and after much debating (and some mild, playful fighting, Hyunjin looking defeated as he concedes to Changbin who just has to sit on the more outside seat cause he hates when his shoulders squeeze against the window seat ) you end up sitting by the window, Changbin sitting next to you while Hyunjin is directly across from you, next to Chan.

The chopsticks, Felix and Jeongin sitting on the opposite row while Seugmin enjoys "some deserved peace and quiet" as he sits next to other passangers behind your row. 2racha starts talking among themselves the minute the train departs and even though you and Hyunjin try to participate into the conversation you both quickly realise their argument over whether tomatoes are fruits or vegetables is getting pretty heated pretty fast so you just glance at each other and snicker, he stretches out his long legs and loops them around your feet, and then lends you one of his bluetooth earbuds, a silent invite to block out the noises and enjoy the scenery outside your window.

Once you arrive in Busan the group splits for a preventive toilet stop, you, Chan, Felix, Changbin and Minho being the ones brave enough not to take advantage of the washroom at the station as you aimlessly stroll around while you wait for the others. You can tell Chan is trying his best to keep his kids in check while also trying to give you and Hyunjin some space, the moment the group is reunited again he immediately tries to lead them towards the exit so Hyunjin can make his way to you without all eyes on him.

If there's one thing about Chan is that he is very perceptive, he obviously knows his friend very well and figured you too like to keep it low key, you too aren't overly into pda and would rather spend some quieter times with just the long haired brunette.

And his efforts are repayed when he exchanges a quick, complicit glance with Hyunjin, who slows down behind everyone else until he's walking right next to you, he sneaks an arm around your shoulders and pulls you to him, "you're doing okay? I'm sorry they're so loud", he apologises, a fond smile forming on his lips as his eyes wander to his friends animously talking and grabbing at each other's hands and butts, "I'm doing great. I'm actually happy they've taken seemingly well to me, I was afraid they wouldn't like me that much for a sec", you admit sincerely, trying to fall into step with his long strides, "why wouldn't they?", he replies simply, matter-of-factly even, smirking a little when he notices you blushing.

As soon as you all step outside into the blinding sun, Jeongin turns into intense chaperone mode, he gives directions to where to go first and which local stores you should stop by so he and Chan can plan out the day a little. And so the adventure begins.

First stop is dalgona coffee and Sinchang toast from a local café where most of the boys also help themselves to Milmyeon and Ssiat Hotteok, which you share a portion of with both Han and Felix, as they're saving up some space in their stomachs for more desserts later on in the day. Which you can only agree with.

After that you make your way to the beaufiul Haedong Yonggungsa, the temple by the sea, a sprawling temple that sits right on the eastern coast of Busan, which literally takes your breath away with how incredible and sacred it looks, the air there just feels different, rarefied even. As you lean on the balauster that looks out on the baby blue sea, you find yourself shutting your eyes.

You whisper a silent prayer only you know the meaning of. And it's curious, how for that mere couple of seconds you manage to numb your ears to the sound of the wind, the mumbling and praying of the locals and the tourists gathering in the temple, even the stifled laughs of your friends, you almost feel like you're the only person in the whole building as you wish just for happiness, in whatever form that wants to presents itself in.

When you open your eyes again Hyunjin is silently standing next you, elbows resting on the balauster as well, his eyes deviate from the stunning sea below to your surprised ones, a small, reassuring smile playing on his lips.

Next stop is another temple, Taejongsa temple, with its bursting hydrangeas paths and blossoming plants all around, Changbin gets particularly sulky as you guys walk through the place, he whines about being in such a romantic scenery without his munchkin little baby, which you find ironic considering you're currently being swept up into some deep conversations about love and the expectation of society with Felix and Chan, Han butting his head in every once in a while only to be pulled back by a bemused Minho that makes him twirl and fall into every single flower bed on their path.

For lunch you all help yourselves at local street vendors on your way to Gamcheon village where you stop for pics with the little prince statue (everyone makes Jeongin take at least one selfie with each member and the statue), and then wander off to the shops and thrift stores. All the while your group of friends manages to keep you entertained and laughing your ass off, but sadly also busy and never really alone with Hyunjin. You manage to lock eyes with him on a few occasions and briefly hold hands as you walk through the narrowest parts of the village, but you somehow always end up separate, despite Chan's best efforts no to have the kids hog you all the time.

Part of you feels extremely happy they feel so comfortable with you they want to include you into their every activity or conversation, but another part of you longs for some alone time with Hyunjin.

As the afternoon rolls out slowly, you and your group walk aimlessly around the streets, some of the guys stop to take pictures of the colorful walls and murals, some feed into their caffeine addictions by cramming inside tight little cafés. Seeing that Felix and Seugmin walk out of a cute bakery with delicious looking pastries and drinks, you decide to step in yourself and order some warm coffee to go and milk bread. Which tastes absolutely delectable.

You flutter your eyes shut as the yummy, soft texture melts in your mouth, you almost moan at how good it tastes, "jeez, calm down. It's just bread",you hear a brash voice and some snickering and find Changbin looking at you like you're some kind of crazy person, "you don't understand Binnie, this is heaven. Heaven in bread form", you try to explain, stuffing your face with more, "you and flour boy are meant to be. Go to him, share it with him. Hyunjin loves milk bread", he says, stealing a bite from your roll first, "mmh not bad, not bad", he comments, taking a sip from your coffee too.

You make your way towards the back of the group, and patiently wait for Hyunjin to finish talking with Chan before attempting to shyly approach him, "milk bread?", you offer, holding your precious wrapped roll out for him to bite into. He lights up. He tears into the bread making the cutest, frowniest face and you giggle, "mmmh oh my god so good", he yawps, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he leads you down the steep pavement, "hehe it's yummy, right?", Hyunjin nods and hands you back your food but you signal for him to finish it as you happily sip on your coffee, even offering him some too considering his cup is already empty, he gladly accepts and puckers his lips around the straw, the sight momentarily making your breath hitch in your throat. It's been a whole week since you last kissed him properly. You're having withdrawals.

"Coffee and milk bread. You really know how to take care of me, uh?", Hyunjin smirks at you and next thing you know he's pulling you inside a little souvenirs shop, dragging you towards a far off isle in the corner where you almost knock down all the tiny porcelain little tea cups and hand painted fans and cute colorful socks.

You erupt into loud giggles as he himself trips over the rug but manages to straighten himself out at last. You giggle and giggle until he's leaning in, his lips just inches away from you - "annyeonghaseyo. How can I help you today?". The clerk was so adorable and smiley both you and Hyunjin end up with a bag each full of gifts for your respective families. And deep red ears and blushy cheeks.

As the sunset bleeds into early night, you stop at a photobooth and take multiple pictures with everyone. Or you try to. You're just about to get back inside the booth with Hyunjin after Jeongin and Minho went in when Han gets so whiny and fussy from how tired he is that Chan has to drag everyone out and back on the road.

The last stop on your trip being a sightseeing one at Gwangandaegyo Bridge. The square is so crowded and bustling with people and lights and energy you feel so immensely grateful and lucky to be there with your friends.

Chan on one side and Changbin on the other, you loop your arms together and sincerely thank them, "I appreciate everything you two have been trying to do for me today! Thank you for making me feel so included and for looking out for me". Changbin grins at you and pokes your cheek, "I told you you were going to have a great time!", he exclaims while Chan just laughs, "I'm sorry this wasn't the most romantic thing for you and our Hyune but I'm sure seeing you so comfortable with all the boys and vice versa means a lot to him too", he nods toward the man of the hour, giggling and pointing at the colorful lights and taking pics with Felix. "Yeah, I hope so", you mumble, looking fondly at them.

You all take a few more pictures and decide to look for some street food for dinner before redirecting towards the train station, Chan winks at you as he calls up on all the guys and orderly leads them towards downtown, conveniently making sure you're in tow with Hyunjin.

You quietly walk next to each other, fingers interlocked, playfully bumping into each other every once in a while, "did you have fun today?", he asks, his eyes searching yours intently, "of course, I'm like so tired, but very happy! Busan is charming and the food is amazing, I couldn't have asked for more. Did you have fun? ", you reply earnestly and he nods, "mmh…I did. I liked seeing you happy",you smile bashfully and blush as he says that, which must give him some sort of an ego boost cause he looks so satisfied he bites down his lips and tugs at your hand when you refuse to keep eye contact with him. In the spur of the moment he bends down to kiss your cheek, sighing softly :"y/n would you… no wait… Can I be-", "HAN-AH NOT ON MY NEW SHOES".

Poor Hannie feeling sick all over Minho's shoes wasn't the perfect ending to your amazing day in Busan. The boy ate a little too much a little too fast and then washed it all down with too much iced coffee that's all. With all of your adrenaline levels down and the tiredness of the day catching up to you all, this time when you get back in the train nobody fights for the seat distribution.

You finally end up next to Hyunjin, who scrambles to fling himself on the faded blue leather seat next to the window and basically forces you to sit beside him while Seugmin and Jeongin sit across from you. It barely takes 2 minutes for the maknaes to fall asleep in their seats, their cute little heads atop of each other, sleepy, pouty faces so irresistible Hyunjin has to take a few sneaky pics.

Just as you did on your way there, you share earphones with the brunette, who also offers his shoulder for you to lean on as you feel so sleepy after the long day. The ache in your legs and your feet dissolving as you finally relax to the music playing in your ears and the comfort of the sweet guy next to you who clasps your hands together and breathes so softly as if he's afraid he's going to disturb your sleepy state.

Travelling into the night to the light hum of the train feels calming, a bit surreal even. You feel as if you're in a bit of a dream like state, the moonlight filters through the big window as the train speeds through miles upon miles of rail tracks, every single passanger on board either sleeping or quietly scrolling through their phones and you just feel so at peace, your eyes droopy and heavy but still refusing to completely give in to sleep.

"Y/n…are you sleeping?", Hyunjin calls out quietly for you. At first you're confused as to whether he is actually talking or the song currently playing in your ear is playing tricks on you, but when you lift your head up and meet his soft gaze and gentle smile, you're sure you're not just hallucinating. You blink a few times and shake your head slightly, "not sleeping yet", you murmur as your rub your eyes with your knuckles. Hyunjin visibly melts at that, you can see it in the way even in the dim light his eyes go all soft and crescent moon shaped as he smiles.

He hesitates a bit, as if he's mentally debating whether to further speak or not, and then he leans in and kisses you. Plump lips crushing into yours, a soft hum as he grazes your bottom lip with his teeth, your muffled gasping as his tongue explores your mouth. If this is a dream no one dare wake you up right now. That's all you can think.

"Can I be your boyfriend?". You pull away still breathless and confused. Your brain short circuiting from how much you've made out in the past few minutes. You look at him confusedly as he licks his lips and looks at you expectantly, you shake your head briefly and pull out the earphone still idly playing whatever song, "you-you.. What?", you stutter and he giggles, pecking your lips once more, "I said: can I be your boyfriend?". So you heard that right the first time. It wasn't just the absence of oxygen reaching your brain then. You squeal and squeak, almost waking up the sleepy heads in front of you, and then jump at Hyunjin's neck, almost crying as your repeat yourself over and over: "ohmyfreakinggod YES PLEASE!".

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laurasimonsdaughter · 21 days

Note

Dear Domestic Dragons Trust, I’m writing about my recent experiences with my new “pocket dragon”. Which I’m starting to suspect might not be one.

About six months ago I acquired my dragon after years of wanting and saving for one. He’s a male with scarlet red scales, blue highlights and large pointed horns. The breeder at the time seemed reputable and had official paperwork for him upon purchase. He’s been a darling little menace so far, but I’ve been noticing some very bizarre traits of his that don’t add up. First off, he’s Huge! He’s almost quadrupled in size since I got him and his growth is not slowing down. He’s refuses to eat any fruit or cream, only wanting meat and poultry (which he incinerates upon receiving). He’s much more aggressive about his hoard and especially gold, to the point I need welding equipment to separate things from him he’s not supposed to have.

Did I get some bizarre off breed of pocket dragon, or is he something else I need to be concerned about. I love the little guy dearly either way but I’d like to know if he really is a pocket dragon or not?

Hello,

I'm afraid it does sound like your dragon might be a crossbreed. This does happen sometimes, even with breeders who are careful, because dragons are quite crafty and wild dragons do still roam about in some places. It sounds like your dragon might be half firedrake.

We recommend going back to the breeder and asking for their help. If they care about their reputation at all, they will be willing to help you figure out how this could have happened. Knowing what type of crossbreed your dragon can help provide you with the necessary information to keep taking care of them.

It's not illegal to keep a crossbreed dragon like this, but unlike pocket dragons you do need a liscence for them, and you can only keep them in urban areas under the following conditions:

The dragon has been treated with a fire safety spell.

The dragon is no larger than a horse.

The dragon has been (magically) chipped.

Of course you'll also need to be able to house and feed him, which can certainly be a challenge for bigger dragons. If it turns out keeping him at your home is too difficult or too risky, you could house him at a Magical Menagerie, but renting a stable or kennel there can be very expensive.

If worst comes to worst you can bring him to us and we can figure out how to house him at one of our locations. Hopefully close enough for you to come visit and possible train with him!

Best of luck,

~ The Domestic Dragon Trust

#the domestic dragon trust #dragon #dragons #urban fantasy #thank you anon!

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1waveshortofashipwreck · 3 months

Text

Should've Been Born Later, Nix - Chapter 4: The First Night

Easy Company x Fem!OCs

Chap. Synopsis: What will happen to Easy Company the night of their Fall?

Words: 3,502

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Author's Note: Hi everyone! Hope y'all are having good days so far~ Also, I want to let you know that I'm open to writing Bonus Content for the series! If there's a particular scene you'd like to be written in more detail, or any specific headcanons, please don't be afraid to let me know! As always thank you a million times over for all the support and I love you all dearly!! 💖

Once at home, the boys all filed out of their makeshift clown cars, Chrys retrieving the black duffel bag she put the men’s things in from the trunk. “I’ll keep these in my room till y’all need them,” Chrys said.

Speirs, Guarnere, and Toye all started to protest, before captain Winters put a stop to it. “Men, we can clearly see that the atmosphere around weapons is different in 2023, I don’t like it either, but we need to follow our hosts on this one,” he explained to his men. The men grumbled but agreed with their CO.

“Alright y’all! Have we got everyone?” Zay asked, her “mom friend” instincts kicking in - she always had an instinct to take care of and protect everyone around her, maybe that is why she went into nursing.

Speirs performed a silent headcount before responding, “Yeah we have everyone, lead the way!” Zay smiled in gratitude at Speirs, turning on her heel before her bouncy saunter could be seen leading the pack. Chrys hung back to talk with Toye, probably about what kind of guns they have - it was a bit of a hobby for her. No one but Winters saw the subtle glare Nixon tossed at Joe after he started chatting with Chrys. Finally, he had something to fire back at Lew the next time the intelligence officer said something about Zay. Everybody, focused on their own conversations, missed Speirs pulling something out of his pocket. Ron inspected the colorful pens he had swiped from the receptionist’s desk, “Sharpie Premium Highlighters” displayed along their sides. Speirs had never seen pens with these colors before, so of course, he needed to have them.

Before they knew it, the group was at the elevator. While this was a larger elevator and could fit all twelve of them, they were once again squished like sardines. While Zay wound up being squished against the back wall with Liebgott, Chrys was squished towards the middle, Nixon on one side, Toye on another. Now, it was Winters’ turn to sit back and enjoy the show. Nixon immediately began to strike up a conversation, causing Toye to return the glare Nixon cast his way earlier. Dick let out a silent chuckle, unaware of the similar situation happening behind him. Joe Liebgott, feeling confident, subtly slung his arm around Zay’s shoulder.

“Sorry, doll, it’s just so crowded in here,” he said in a quiet voice, a smirk evident on his lips. Zay simply snickered and rolled her eyes, letting Joe keep his arm around her. If looks could kill, Luz and Roe would have been accused of friendly fire. They were towards the front of the elevator, turned to the side to help fit everyone in. They were glaring at Liebgott, who simply returned to them a smug smile. When the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Zay moved from beside Joe to the front and led the pack on their way, unaware of the situations around her.

As the group filed out of the enclosed space, Roe made sure to wait for Liebgott, “It’S jUsT sO CrOwDeD iN hErE.” He mocked him with a low voice, ensuring Zay didn't hear.

"Hey, I'm the one that got to put my arm around her," Liebgott replied to the medic. The self-satisfied soldier continued walking ahead with the group, while Roe was fuming internally, praying it did not show up on his face. Meanwhile, Zay led the group down the hallway to a door that read 553. The door opened to reveal a modest but comfy apartment. There was a combined kitchen/living area, with the kitchen to the right of the front door. In front of the group was a coffee table with a full size couch against the wall. Flanking the couch was a loveseat and an armchair, framing the coffee table on their respective sides. Directly across from the couch was the entertainment stand, the boys trying to process all the electronics they have never seen before. Across the room was a sliding glass door that led out to the apartment's balcony. To the right of the TV was a small hallway with a door on the left, on the right, and at the end.

"Welcome to casa del Bennett!" Zay cheered as everyone filed into the apartment - there was an eclectic feel to the furniture and decorations. It was easy to see that Zay and Chrys collaborated on the decor, neither of them losing their styles to the other. The decor was a mix of bright, cheerful artwork and trinkets, with posters and models of cars mixed in all around, a perfect blend for the sisters. “Make yourselves at home!” Zay stood beside the kitchen as the boys took a look around, Chrys making her way back to her room, opening the door on the right side of the small hall and disappearing behind it.

“This is a nice place you’ve got!” Luz said, plopping down on the couch in the living area. Toye and Guarnere politely sat down on the loveseat, while the rest of Easy Company gathered to stand in the living area rather awkwardly.

Zay smiled and locked the door, a nervous habit, before walking off down the hallway. “Y’all get comfy, I’m gonna change my clothes really quick.” With her signature bounce, Zay went into the door on the left of the hallway. Easy Company was left to fend for themselves, at least for a few minutes. Roe helped Malarkey sit in the armchair, while the medic opted to sit beside Luz on the couch, close to Malarkey if he needed anything. Bull rested on an arm of the loveseat, while Liebgott took the last seat on the couch, securing Luz in the middle. Winters and Nixon stood off to the side, next to the loveseat, and Speirs rested on an arm of the couch, beside Roe.

“What do you think all that is?” Malarkey asked, motioning to the entertainment center. While someone from 2023 would recognize the twins’ internet router, PS4, Nintendo Switch, and bluetooth speaker as common electronics, the boys had absolutely no idea what they were looking at. As if on cue, the two sisters returned to the group, both having changed their clothes. Chrys was wearing a black sweatshirt with an Alfa Romeo logo the boys did not recognize on the front with a pair of plaid pj pants. Zay opted for an oversized, navy blue t-shirt with the band Queen’s logo on the front, though once again, unrecognized by Easy Company. The shock displayed on the men’s faces came from the fact that Zay seemed not to be wearing anything on her lower half. While Chrys sat on the ground, close to Guarnere and Toye, Zay stood confused at the boys.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, concern thick in her words.

“Um… I think you… forgot something in your room,” Luz mumbled out, bright red and trying his best not to stare at Zay’s legs.

“Hm?” Zay followed Luz’s eyes to the point of confusion. “Oh!” She let out a small giggle, slightly lifter her shirt to reveal her bright yellow pajama shorts. “This is the style for pajama shorts in 2023, helps to keep cool at night,” she explained, opting to sit on the floor - she wound up sitting at the feet of Richard Winters, merely intending to sit beside Chrys. Winters could not help but blush, seeing her so close to him. “How’re y’all feeling?” Zay questioned the group in earnest, looking at the men.

There was a brief pause, as well as a few glances around from the men, before Guarnere spoke up, “Still kinda shocked, I guess… it’s still so weird that this is all happening.”

“To be honest, I’m worried about our other guys,” Liebgott chimed in, his arms crossed and his leg bouncing anxiously. “There’s no way to tell them where we are, and we’re not there if they need us.” Joe said all this while staring at the floor, his jaw clenched. The rest of the men nodded in agreement - the soldiers relied on each other, especially in the winter wasteland of Bastogne. Knowing that they were so far away from the rest of their men hurt their hearts in more ways than they thought possible.

Zay and Chrys listened closely to the group. “I’m sorry y’all have to go through this, I can’t imagine the pain and anxiety you’re feeling right now,” the blue-haired girl said after a beat. “I wish I had answers to your questions, but I can assure y’all, Chrys and I will do everything in our power to help you get back to your men. For now, y’all have had a really long day, and you need to be at your best to-”

Zay was cut off by what sounded like the mating call of the humpback whale. All heads turned to the source of the sound - Nixon’s stomach. Lewis let out a small laugh before speaking, “I sure hope you still eat dinner in 2023.”

“Nope, eating as a concept stopped in the 1990s,” Chrys replied, her face and tone deadpan. There was a beat of silence, the boys unsure whether or not the woman was joking, before Chrys let out a snicker. Zay and Chrys began to descend into laughter, followed by the rest of the boys. The group continued to discuss dinner, Zay explaining the concept of Door Dash to the soldiers. Swears, confusion, and laughter abounded throughout the technology education.

“So we can really get anything we want? And they’ll just deliver it?” Malarkey asked, wonder in his eyes. Zay smiled and nodded her head. Malarkey looked at the boys before exclaiming, “We could get actual pasta!”

“Are you kidding? We could get warm juicy American burgers!” Luz retorted.

“Hey what about Chinese food? That shit’s delicious,” Toye argued back. The group descended into bickering, sounding like child siblings in their tones.

“Men!” Winters scolded, causing everyone to fall silent and turn their attention to their captain. Dick looked down at Zay, “We’ll take whatever you recommend.” Dick had a polite smile on his face, imitating Luz as he tried everything not to look at Zay’s bare legs. The girl looked back up into Dick’s green eyes, a blush rising on her cheeks, as well as a thankful smile.

“How about some fast food?” Chrys offered, “McDonald’s usually has something everyone likes.”

“Sounds perfect!” Zay replied before going to Door Dash on her phone. After what felt like forever while the twins explained the options for food to the boys and take their orders, Zay pressed the “Complete Purchase” button. “Alright! The food will be here in a little bit. In the meantime, would y’all like anything to drink? We have water and soda, but also beer, wine, and some other stuff.” Zay explained with a mischievous grin - she saw how the men loved to drink on the show, save for Winters, and was excited to relax and have fun with them. A chorus of intrigued “ooh”s and whoops came from the men of Easy Company as Zay stood up to go to the kitchen. After getting everyone’s drink orders, Zay headed to the kitchen, not noticing Dick following her.

“Thought you might want some help carrying everything,” he said more bashfully than intended when Zay noticed him. Zay returned his smile as they reached the tile of the kitchen area.

“That’s really sweet of you, Captain Winters,” she responded, blushing as she looked up at the man in front of her. Her mind could not help but wonder, what would he do if he knew how big of a crush she had on him?

Dick laughed quietly and smiled at the girl, his blush matching hers. “Please, call me Dick.” Zay’s smile widened as she shifted her gaze to her feet, praying futily that he did not notice her blush growing. “Doc was right earlier, you know, it is really kind of you to take us into your home like this,” Dick mused, grateful for the girl in front of him. Her eyes immediately returned to meet his gaze with a smile.

“Oh it’s nothing, really! Chrys and I have people over all the time, so it’s no trouble, I promise.” Zay went to the fridge as she spoke, starting to take out the bottles that were requested - a coke for Dick, red wine for Zay, Speirs, and Roe, and beers for the rest of the group. Once Zay had organized the eight bottles and three glasses, she bent down to grab her serving tray from the cupboard. Dick wanted to avert his eyes, he wanted to be polite, be a gentleman, but alas, he was entranced. The captain was just barely able to turn his head away before Zay returned to the drinks, acrylic serving tray in hand. Once Zay put everything on the tray, Winters was quick to pick it up, Zay shooting him a Look. “Thank you,” Zay said reluctantly, trying and failing to hide her smile. Dick simply nodded before following her out of the kitchen.

The night continued to devolve into drunken, chaotic fun, with laughter and Chicken McNuggets abounding. Soon everyone was burping and hiccuping with inebriation, of course save for Winters. “You guys wanna play truth or dare?” Chrys asked with a smirk as Zay clumsily emptied the group’s third bottle of wine into her glass, splashing a couple drops onto the carpet.

“Yeah! Let’s use the bottle to pick!” Guarnere said, gently plucking the bottle from Zay’s hand. The twelve made a circle on the floor, pushing the coffee table flush with the sofa. Zay wound up sitting between Winters and Roe, while Chrys was between Nixon and Bull. “Who wants to go first?” Guarnere asked, placing the bottle on its side in the center of the circle.

“I will!” Chrys volunteered, spinning the bottle. As Chrys leaned forward, shifting her weight to her knees, Nixon could not help but be floored by the dark-haired woman in front of him - she seemed so genuine, so down to earth, he needed her in his life. The bottle spun and spun before landing on, of course, Captain Nixon. A chorus of “ooh”s and chuckles erupted from the group as Chrys asked, “Captain, truth or dare?”

Nixon smirked and looked at the girl, heavily relying on his liquid courage. “Dare, doll,” he replied. Chrys, hiding her blush, smiled and walked to the kitchen, returning with a fresh bottle of beer.

“I dare you,” she paused as she used the bottle opener, “to drink this entire beer in 10 seconds.” She held the beer out to him, intrigued to see if he could do it.

“Done and done,” he replied casually, immediately starting to down the drink. It may not have been Vat 69, but Nixon still drank the beer like it was the best thing he ever tasted. Before Chrys reached five, Nixon handed her the empty bottle, covering his mouth as he felt the carbonation expel itself. The group laughed at Nixon’s belch but cheered as he spun the bottle in front of him. The bottle slowly came to a stop, pointing itself at Wild Bill Guarnere. “Alright Gonorrhea, truth or dare?”

Bill laughed as he finished off his fourth beer. “Truth, Cap’n.” he said assertively, leaning into the circle. Nixon thought for a minute before asking his question.

“Tell us about the worst kiss you’ve ever had.” the captain asked the staff sergeant. Guarnere thought for a minute before his facial muscles cringed with disgust.

“Suzie Watson at my Senior Prom, we were slow dancing and next thing I knew her tongue was licking my lips,” Bill recalled. The group responded with sounds of ick as Guarnere flicked the bottle. The game continued to bring wild revelations and compromising positions to all in the room. At one point, Luz had spun the bottle, and it landed on captain Dick Winters. “Captain Quaker, sir,” Luz addressed Winters, earning laughs all around him, including from the captain himself, “truth or dare?”

Dick chuckled and shook his head. He debated whether or not to participate when the game began, but when Zay plopped herself next to his feet and looked up at him with the sweetest doe eyes he had ever seen, how could he not? The captain weighed his options, considering which answer is more of a risk. “Truth,” he answered, looking over at George.

“You got a girl waiting for you back home? And if you don’t, are you looking for someone?” Dick could see Zay's head perk up out of the corner of his eye; he could tell her head turned towards him, but he was nervous to meet her gaze.

“Can’t say I have someone waiting at home, but I would like to have a family, someday,” Winters replied quietly, his bashfulness and beet red cheeks warming Zay’s heart. In a moment of wine-fueled impulse, she laid her head on Dick’s shoulder as he spun the bottle. Surprised, Winters looked over at the girl, a content smile on her face as she rested on him. Now it was Winters’ turn to feel his heart warming. The game continued on until about midnight, when a few soldiers allowed themselves to yawn.

“Alright y’all, looks like it’s time to get ready for bed. For where y’all are sleeping, once we put up the air mattress, we can sleep four of you out here, then three in my room and three in Chrys’ room,” Zay explained. She wobbly tried to stand up, resembling a baby giraffe learning how to walk, before losing her balance and falling into Roe’s lap with a squeal. Eugene caught her in one smooth motion, looking at Zay with concern and amusement. “My bad,” the girl said between giggles. No one saw Liebgott and Luz roll their eyes at the scene, save for Winters. Roe helped the girl stand back up while they all discussed sleeping arrangements.

“I can sleep out here,” Speirs spoke up.

“I’ll take the couch,” Bull added.

“I can room with Zay, if you don’t mind,” Eugene looked up at the girl, who smiled and nodded her head.

“Hey! I wanna room with her!” Luz cried out, pushing Roe’s shoulder childishly.

Liebgott somehow got involved in the scrimmage as well, while Zay simply smiled down at the still-sitting Winters. “Would you like to stay in my room?” While she has not revealed the fact they would share a bed yet, Zay certainly preferred the idea of sharing a bed with a gentleman like Winters. Dick smiled and nodded, agreeing to her offer. Zay returned his smile before raising her voice to get the men’s attention. “Y’all! Dick already claimed a spot, so the other two spots go to Roe and Luz.”

Liebgott groaned and rolled his eyes, walking over to the loveseat - his bed for the foreseeable future. While all of the bickering was occurring, Chrys agreed to Nixon, Toye, and Guarnere bunking in her room. “Do you guys want pajamas? Our brother comes to visit us a lot, and he usually leaves his clothes here… his memory isn’t the best,” Chrys told the group, quiet laughter making its way across everyone’s lips. Chrys smiled and made her way back to her room, the rest of the men standing from the floor.

“I’ll go grab the air mattress,” Zay said over her shoulder, bouncing away to her room.

Ron stayed quiet until the twins left. “Sir? What’s the plan for tomorrow?” he asked Winters, everyone suddenly remembering the problems at hand.

Dick thought for a moment before responding, “We’ll go back to where we first arrived and see if we can find anything and go from there. If we don’t get any information, we’ll ask Zay and Chrys for input… maybe even watching the program we’re on could help.” Speirs nodded in understanding as Chrys came back into the room with a laundry basket of t-shirts, pj pants, jeans, and other bits of clothes for the men to use. Once Zay returned with the air mattress, she and Chrys set up their respective pull-out couches in their rooms while the boys changed, the clothes somehow being a good fit for everyone, even Bull.

Once the boys were all decent, Chrys and Zay set up the air mattress in the living room, supplying the four sleeping in said room with a plethora of pillows and blankets. Soon, the men were settled in their respective bunks - Bull on the couch, Liebgott on the loveseat, Malarkey and Speirs on the air mattress, Guarnere and Toye on Chrys’ pull-out couch, Roe and Luz on Zay’s pull-out couch, and finally, Captain Winters and Captain Nixon were, in fact, about to share their beds with Zay and Chrys, respectively. Since there was nowhere else for the boys to sleep, the four of them felt their own versions of excitement, nerves, and every other emotion under the sun.

~~~~~

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

Taglist: @b00ks1ut , @blueberry-ovaries , @bucky32557038ww2 , @claudycod , @dontirrigateme , @emilee1421 , @executethyself35 , @hanniewinnix , @ithinkabouttzu , @jump-wings , @love--persevering , @panzershrike-pretz , @stolen94 , @xxluckystrike

Thank you again for reading!! Be on the lookout for Chapter 5 coming next week!! 🥰✨

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chifuyusun · 3 days

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Negai no Astro Chapter 3: Some Thoughts

Another banger by Wakui. I'm enjoying this story and its characters a lot so far! Wakui always knows how to move me with his complex family plotlines and drama🥹Excited to see what's to come, and also afraid for the siblings and the angst that I'm certain Wakui is cooking, I mean we already saw a glimpse of it. It was resolved quickly though, yay (for now)

The family all look so tiny and cute aw🥰I really want to see more of their past before the rebellion started, them growing up together, bonding, just soft moments..I feel like Wakui will bring these forward during fights or deaths..we saw him do that a lot in Tokyo Revengers, to pour salt on the wound 😭 Anyway, we have the number of most of the siblings so far except the 4th, 6th and 7th adopted, and as far as we know they are 12, I believe one was shown this chapter but not given a number yet, and it is 12 adopted siblings and Hibaru if I am not wrong, I have a feeling the cute girl from the promo pictures is not related to them, but to the astro power. I would like to meet some characters outside the family, I love the concept a lot as someone who has enjoyed such stories, but I wanna see some friendships etc. like in TR, Wakui knows how to write such bonds so well🥹

+ Still no news of her..no name, no info, Wakui please..🙏🏻😔

He's like the little "I choose violence" “peace was never an option” duck meme😭 but damn, seeing a different side to Terasu this chapter sure was interesting..he can be pretty cold-hearted, unlike his angel of a brother..but they complement each other, as one of the TR quotes that I love dearly: "he compensates for what he's lacking."

While I stand with Hibaru on this, I need to know more about Terasu and his relationship with the siblings aside Hibaru because he does not seem to have any bit of a soft spot for them, and I wonder why. I mean, he went to the extreme immediately, but we also saw that Shio wants them dead, and who knows what else he witnessed the siblings do when Hibaru was in his coma. He definitely just wants to protect himself and Hibaru from Shio and the rest who wish them harm or want them eliminated out of the picture, but I did not like the "we're not blood related we might as well be strangers"..I understand his frustration, but adopted family is a family, and found family is a family..reminds me of the conversation between Shinichiro and Izana, when Izana insisted that blood means everything, and Shinichiro said blood does not matter, they are still family, be it adopted, or the family you choose..but also if your family wants you dead, it is a complicated situation in a dog eat dog world, as Terasu said, it's kill or be killed. I wonder what Hibaru will do when forced to face such a situation, cause surely the power of love and friendship wont stop Shio and the rest

Hibaru and Terasu's fight was fun to read;not fun emotionally was gonna cry if they did not resolve it but like, seeing Wakui's fight scenes again, I love it + I knew Terasu's astro power is a shield, I mean it was quite obvious since he survived a whole building crashing on him, but nice to see it confirmed lol. + so they are shield and strength, interesting dynamic.

Angel mc with a heart of gold🩷every chapter I love him more and more, I'll give him the world and keep him in my pocket🥹 I am afraid of him though, "never be so kind you forget to be clever", I hope he knows the limits of love to give those who wish him harm. but it warms my heart, how he says he loves Shio and everyone..my sweet boy, please don't hurt him Wakui..i hope some of the siblings will be on his side. I also love how his purity and kind soul reflected on Terasu and were able to turn things around and end the fight. I'm starting to doubt that Terasu would betray him (mentioning this cause I wrote before some hints that he could be a Judas kind of character later) I love angst, but I hope to not see them fight again. Also the way he sobs and calls him "jerkface" because he was so hurt that the family was called strangers..adorable precious sweet boy🫶🏻

Angry kitty😠

Hibaru is so cute and Terasu is like "free me I don't wanna be here"😭

grandpa is so funny the way he's here for the tea and encouraging the fight , I hope to keep seeing more of him

I finally know pretty boy's name! Shikaba! and the other brother is Taira, interesting to see they are presented together in both their appearances. they don't seem too mean like the other brothers. Taira so far seems like a Hanma type of character who comments about everything and enjoys the vibes lol. As for Shikaba, interesting to see his eyes are still closed 🤔

aaand him, Kuran, he sure is intriguing, as Hibaru referred to him as "a real man among men", and it shows he truly admires him and his strength. he's been quiet so far in all his appearances, but does not seem too friendly, we shall see

that's all, I adore Hibaru and Terasu sm🫶🏻

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xerith-42 · 4 months

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That AU where Aphmau Blows up

Shout out to @thornsofrustandash for the idea. This just came to me like a prophetic vision.

Okay so I usually change Aphmau's name because I hate calling her that, but I have warmed up to just shortening it because Aph is a really cute nickname and it's more accessible to people who can't be bothered to keep track of the 5th Aphmau rename they've read this weak.

This post is me pushing my garrancemau propaganda so if you aren't down with that, idk what to tell you you just don't have taste /j

If you're reading this, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know this isn't what we wanted, I know I'm supposed to be better than this. I was once a lord, I should know the responsibility that comes with it, and I shouldn't be so selfish.

But I need to think for myself. Have I not earned the right to selfishness after all those years of sacrificing myself for others? That's why I have to do this. I'm sorry.

Aaron, I need you to look after Lilith. I know she's going to miss me, but you're a great father and you have plenty of people who will help you with whatever you need so long as you ask for it. That's what I've always tried to tell you, and I'll keep telling you from the great beyond if I have to.

To my guards and friends, I'll miss you dearly. I wish we could share one last celebration with one another, but after this, there will be plenty of reason for celebration. Please don't let the tragedy of my death outweigh the triumph of my accomplishments. Remember me fondly, keep love in your hearts, and go forward knowing that you are some of the best companions a woman could ask for.

And to my head guards... [There's a noticeable teardrop staining the page and causing some of the ink to bleed] I'm sorry. For everything.

Goodbye.

Aph

A tear slipped down her face again, one that Aph was quickly wiping away as she folded up the letter and left it on her bedside table. She glanced over at her bed, where Lilith was swaddled up in a blanket and snuggling her favorite doll, one Laurance had carved for her. Aph's heart dropped at the image, the final thing that would make her doubt what she was about to do.

She had to remind herself that it wasn't a guarantee it would kill her. Only a possibility. She could hear Zoey rightly correct her that it was a high possibility, but she had to do this. Aph walked over to her daughter, placed a final kiss on her forehead, and then left her home. The Phoenix Alliance was quiet. It usually was, but somehow it felt even emptier under the light of the full moon. As if they're city was as abandoned as the one they had found on the island.

Her eyes kept catching on the sings of life. A guitar leaned up against a stand, the sound of cows snoring in their pens, and the many clothes strung along the drying racks reminded her that they lived here. They were making a home here. Aph had a home. The relic fragment pulled at her, reminder her that she had to protect her home. She had to. She couldn't stand seeing that sad look in Vylad's eyes anymore.

She nearly sprinted past Lucinda's house after traveling through the portal. She couldn't let anyone find her. They might be able to talk her out of this. Luckily she knew the path like the back of her hand. The forests of Phoenix Drop had changed quite a lot over 15 years, and yet they were exactly as Aph had remembered them.

The fragment in her pocket started to pull at her further and further, as if responding to the magic around the closed portal. Aph pulled the piece out, turning over the small purple orb in her hands.

"Take me to him," She commanded, and a burst of light instantly went off, magic springing from the fragment and latching onto the frame of the portal. It flashed red, and the portal was open. She could almost see him. Aph reached her hand through, and when she did, she could instantly feel the heavy blue fabric she knew so well. "Garroth!"

Aph pulled, yanking him out of the dimension and to the floor, where he was instantly followed by Zane who now stood before her. The relic fragment in her hand continued to spark with magic even as she tried to close the portal. Both Garroth and Zane needed a moment to readjust to being in the overworld. It was Zane who took less time, who realized where he was, and who he was in front of.

Bright white angel wings filled Garroth's vision as he looked up at the lord he loved so dearly.

"A-Aph?" Garroth muttered out. "What are you doing?"

"Saving your life," She answered, a smile evident in her voice. Though it faintly echoed with an unfamiliar sound, overlapping with the voice of another. "I'm sorry I couldn't do it before!"

"Wait!" Her hand shot forward, reaching straight for Zane's chest as she held onto the fragment even tighter, trying to hone and focus all the stray magic that was jumping from it.

"W-What are you doing?!" Zane gasped out as he saw her eyes start to glow white. "YOU'LL KILL US BOTH!!" Finally, she had clarity. Zane had put it so well. In order to succeed, she had to kill them both. A relic for a relic, a life for a life.

"That's the plan." Aph turned around and looked down at Garroth, her eyes becoming amber for this final moment. "I love you." A blinding white light filled her eyes, and an explosion rang out across the land.

"What happened?!" Dante nearly screamed as he raced to the explosion site. He prayed that Alexis would find no refugees were harmed, but all thoughts were swept from his mind when he got a clear view of the crater where the forest once was. Black and purple essence was scattered across the destroyed land, some parts were still actively on fire, and near the edge of the crater was Garroth. "Garroth?!"

Dante didn't get a reply. Garroth was still in shock, his hands trembling, and his eyes trying to cry. He was trying, but all he could seem to do was shake.

"Garroth, what happened?" Dante's voice sounded far, like he was talking to someone else. Garroth fell to his knees as he saw what laid at his feet where she once stood. A leather bound notebook with a rather crude "Aph" carved into the front of it. It was worn, clearly loved, and when Garroth traced his fingers over the poor thing like it would break, he could almost feel her life force coming from the pages.

It should have been louder. Garroth should have been filled with anger, something violent, something heard. Instead, the moment he held her diary in his hands, Garroth broke out into the sort of weeping he hadn't allowed since he was a child. Since the last time he lost someone this important to him. Garroth's crying was quiet. His tears were plentiful, but the sound was reserved, only a few sobs escaping between gasps for breath.

"Dante!" Travis called out, only seeing the backs of the two men. "Dante, what's going--" He stopped short when Dante turned around and he saw the tears streaming down his face. It made both men freeze at the sudden display of emotion. "What... What happened?" Dante glanced back at the weeping Garroth, and opted to step away and bring the conversation somewhere he couldn't hear.

"I-I don't really have any details yet. Garroth's not exactly comprehensible right now," Dante explained with a shaky voice. Travis faintly wanted to hold his shaking hands, just to console him a little. "Seems like nobody else was harmed in the explosion... Except..."

"Except...?" Travis repeated.

"A-Aph. I'm pretty sure she was the uh... The cause." Travis could hear his heart beating in his head as the entire world came out of focus. He couldn't really process what Dante said at first, and when he did, he felt numb. Like he should have some big reaction to the information, but instead it just left him feeling cold. "I-I'm going to keep looking around, see if I can't find a sign that she's alive."

"Yeah, y-you should do that. I'm... Enki help me, I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You could help me." Travis didn't have the heart to tell Dante his effort would be fruitless. It's not like Dante would listen anyways.

"I think I'm going to go tell the others." Dante nodded, before walking back towards the site. Travis' body moved without his own will, his legs suddenly having a mind of their own. His head felt heavy and yet also weightless, and he felt dizzy. Things only came into clarity for a moment when he saw Katelyn limping down the path through Phoenix Drop towards him.

That was when Travis got a hold of himself again, and he was suddenly racing towards her, catching Katelyn's weak form in his arms like it was instinct.

"Katelyn? What are you doing out of bed?!" Travis almost yelled.

"Like I was gonna sit still after hearing that," Katelyn groaned as she leaned against his weight. Travis' arm wrapped around her waist to hold her up like it was nothing. "What happened?"

"Still figuring that out."

"Where's Aph? I-Is she safe?" Travis's heart dropped, and he could feel the beginning of tears.

"I-I don't know."

"You don't know what?! Where she is or if she's safe?! You're her guard you should--" Katelyn stopped her yelling when she saw the tear finally slip down Travis' cheek. "No, no, no. Don't--"

"I-I'm sorry, Katelyn."

"No! She can't be!!" Katelyn was suddenly fighting against Travis, trying to break free from the grip he had on her waist. Instead, it just turned into Travis pulling her in even closer, wrapping both his arms around her tightly as Katelyn began to wail. The sound of her agony was enough to finally push those stubborn tears from Travis' eyes as e clung onto her.

They barely noticed the figure rush past them. His vision was somehow hazier than usual with the added tears in his eyes. It was when he stumbled into the crater and saw the man standing before him that the whirlwind of emotions quieted down, and Laurance was able to hear his own thoughts, feel his body again.

Mere moments before he felt an unholy amount of pain, a miserable feeling of mourning consumed every part of his body, and when he saw what remained he realized why. He saw Garroth's absolutely pitiful expression as he clutched onto her diary like a lifeline. Laurance's mind was quiet at first. Just him. Just the realization of all he had lost in a single moment. And all he was now able to lose.

Finally there was a sound to rival the explosion, a single noise to encapsulate the grief. A miserable scream that cracked and broke as it continued to tear through the land as Laurance came to terms with everything he had lost, and everything he was about to lose. The poor man could only fall to his knees and scream as it all came crashing down on him. A cacophony of voices filled his ears, only making it worse as tears forced their way through glassy eyes.

The voices of the calling were the same, yet because they called for something new, none of them sounded right. Nothing was right. Laurance's body felt like it was being ripped apart all over again and it didn't even matter this time because she was gone. He had failed her and possibly doomed everyone because of it. Every time Laurance tried to focus on the anguish of her loss, it was always weighed down by the agony of his own curse. The curse he bore for her sake was now meaningless.

Eventually Laurance's voice went hoarse. It was only then that he finally looked up and saw Garroth. The man he had spent so long fighting to get back, the man who he was ready to rip apart the realm barrier for, the man who was so loved he had more than one person willing to do that. Adoration and love swelled in Laurance for a moment, and emotion got the better of him. Laurance threw himself into Garroth's arms, and Garroth caught him and held him like it was the easiest thing in the world. He held Laurance's sobbing form and continued to weep himself.

Neither knew how to feel about the few tears of joy they initially shed while holding each other. They didn't last very long, and were rather quickly overshadowed by mourning. Garroth managed to stand up and walk the two of them away from the crater, before he collapsed against a tree and allowed his body to finally relax.

Neither Laurance or Garroth spoke for quite some time. It was just the two of them and her diary. At some point Garroth must have decided he'd had enough of wearing the heavy armor, but he never set Laurance down. Even as they walked through the streets of an empty Phoenix Drop that Garroth wanted nothing more than to explore. He'd need time to adjust to their new world, he knew that, but he always dreamed he'd do it hand in hand with the people he cared most about. He never imagined it would be him and Laurance stumbling into Aph's empty home at the top of the hill, and then collapsing before they could get to their own bed.

Now Garroth lay on the floor, Laurance still on top of him, and both of them seemingly run out of tears. That wouldn't last long.

"We should at least get to bed," Garroth suggested quietly. He was met with the sound of Laurance's sniffles.

"I can't," Laurance answered.

"Why not?" Laurance sat up, finally getting off of Garroth and letting him sit up. Laurance tried in vain to wipe his eyes, knowing it likely wouldn't do anything.

"I-I can't. I can't be around you for much longer."

"Why? What's wrong?" Laurance's body began to tremble. His blood ran hot. If his voice weren't already so hoarse, Laurance might have screamed. No no no this couldn't be real-- "Laurance, please talk to me."

"I can't!" Laurance backed away from Garroth, but refusing to move too much. He wasn't sure if he moved if he would have control of his body. He couldn't take the risk. "Calling!" That's all Garroth needed to hear.

The calling. He'd helped Laurance with it before, and Aph had told him how it was harming Laurance. Neither knew too many specifics unless Laurance disclosed them, but Garroth did know exactly what he was saying. There was no doubt that Dante's effort to find her was meaningless. She was dead and Laurance knew the second it happened. And now the calling had simply switched targets.

"I..." Garroth's voice trailed off. What was he supposed to say?

Aph would know what to say.

The thought made Garroth feel like crying all over again, but he didn't dare look away from Laurance. Especially not when he saw his eyes flash red.

"I'm sorry," Laurance whispered. "I love you." And like that, he was gone. In almost an instant Laurance had stood up and taken off, faster than Garroth was capable of keeping up with.

"Laurance!!" He desperately cried out, scrambling to stand up in his heavy armor, and barely making it to their door before he realized it was hopeless. As the sun started to peek over the horizon, Garroth looked out upon an almost empty Phoenix Drop, and he couldn't contain his anguish anymore. Garroth fell to his knees in the doorway of his beloveds home, and wept for his lost lovers once more.

hi i actually have a lot more ideas about this but this post is really long and writing this au is literally hurting me so I'm gonna make another post with more stuff later okay bye

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ofstoriesandstardust · 1 year

Text

it's a good thing we're each other's kind of crazy (j.c.m.)

a/n: this was an inspired by an ask. this song is their anthem and i love them dearly gahhh

summary: Rebel and Coyote find themselves in Vegas. Chaos ensues (as it usually does with them).

title comes kelsea ballerini's "if you go down (i'm going down too)"

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | same mistakes-verse

warnings: Rooster's a little shit, Rebel's just along for the ride, dialogue heavy, this was just for shits and giggles

word count: 1.3k

Your phone rings on the countertop, and you grab it as you flip the burner off. "Hello?"

"Do you want to go to Vegas?"

You frown, putting the phone between your ear and shoulder as you spoon the SpongeBob-shaped mac and cheese into a bowl. "I'm down. When?"

"Right now."

You're grateful you're only just pulling a fork out of the drawer to eat, otherwise you might've choked.

"Come again?"

"Do you want to go to Vegas with me? Like, right now. Like we would have to leave right now."

"Coyote, what the hell..." You mutter, glancing out the kitchen window. "What did you do?"

"Well, I was looking at ticket prices for Jake and I to go to Savannah and well... a few wrong clicks..."

"Coyote." You say firmly, as he notices your presence in the kitchen window from his car.

"I bought 38 dollar tickets to Vegas."

"Come inside."

"There's no time, we have to leave."

"Am I packing a bag for this?"

"No, we fly back in at 3 tomorrow."

"Did you book a hotel room?"

The silence on the other end clues you in.

"Machado, were you really just planning on buying these tickets, me saying yes, pulling an all-nighter in Vegas, and coming back tomorrow?"

"...Yes?" He sighs. "Are you gonna say no?"

A laugh escapes your mouth. "Oh hell no, I'm taking you to that restaurant in Caesar's Palace that only sells chocolate."

The grin can be heard through his tone. "You have five minutes."

You plop the giant bag of M&Ms on the end as Coyote groans, falling face-first into the bed. "This was fun." He says, words muffled into the comforter. "I'm proud of us for seeing everything Vegas has to offer that's not a casino."

"You brought me with you, what did you expect?"

He chuckles, pushing up from the bed. "What time is it?"

After traipsing around Vegas all day, going on the roller coaster at the New York New York, eating buffet food in the Paris hotel, going to the M&M Factory, spending at least three hours wandering around Caesar's Palace, going on gondola rides at The Venetian, seeing the water show at the Bellagio, and scoring last minute tickets to The Beatles Cirque de Soleil show at The Mirage, you were beat.

Thankfully, you knew better than Coyote in trying to pull an all-nighter in Vegas. After the show, you'd wandered down to the front-desk of The Mirage, where you'd sweet talked the girl working at the front-desk to lower the rate for a room and before you and Coyote knew it, you were unlocking the door to the suite with the singular king-sized bed.

You hum, cranning your eyes to the digital clock on the nightstand. "Just after two."

He pulls his phone out of his pocket, tossing it on the bed. "Can I charge my phone?"

You scoff, pulling the charger from your purse. You move toward the wall, plugging the device in before plopping down on the bed. "The phone charger gets to be used by the person who was smart enough to bring it. You almost forgot your wallet."

He huffs, tossing you a look. "Fine. I'm gonna shower."

"K. I want room service, do you want anything?"

His face lights up as his hands fall to his hips. You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing, realizing just how drunk he is.

He'd taken advantage of the drinks to your seats, that was for sure.

"Um, fries. Ooo, and nachos. And a hot dog."

You snort. "I'll see what they have."

He nods before slipping into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The sound of the water running sounds as your phone lights up and you squint from the bright white. You turn away, picking up the phone to call for room service, knowing it'll be a minute before the phone loads.

As you order, you glance down, squinting at the different text messages.

Bradley 🐓

Hey, just checking in. Where are you?

Hey, Hangman can't get a hold of Coyote. Are you with him?

...What did you do? 🤨

There's quite a few from Hangman, along with some others from your team. All wondering where you are. Some are more nervous than others, and some (Amelia) are giving you play-by-plays of Hangman's mental spiral. You frown, standing up from the bed to knock on the bathroom door. "Hey Coyote?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you tell Hangman we were coming to Vegas?"

"No, why?"

You groan, shaking your head as you slide across the bed for your phone. You call Rooster first, knowing he's going to be the one you want to be in contact with.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"Hi honey." He says brightly, and in the background you can hear the chatter of your friends. "I assume your phone died?"

"Yeah, Coyote's too."

He hums and you can hear him open the fridge. "I figured. Hey, everyone's at the house, just so you know for when the two of you get back."

"Yeah, about that..." You sigh, rubbing your temple. "I'm in Vegas."

It's silent for a minute, and you cringe, afraid of what he might say before a laugh bubbles out from the other end. "What the fuck? How?"

"Coyote found 38 dollar tickets to Vegas. We fly back in tomorrow at 3. How could I say no?" You sigh again. ""M sorry I didn't give you a heads up. I totally spaced it in the chaos. We got off the plane and then never sat back down."

His laughter continues. "Oh honey, don't apologize. I figured your phone was just dead. Any lingering resentment will be forgiven in tacky souvenirs you bring me. You're in Vegas, I'm just glad you're having a good time."

You chuckle, hearing the shower turn off. "Is Dad worried?"

"Nah, he's out on that sailing trip with Penny for the long weekend, remember?"

"Oh yeah." You say with a nod, even though he can't see it.

"Bagman, on the other hand..."

"Shit, I should call Jake." You say, pulling the phone away from your ear to call the blond.

"No!" Rooster says immediately, causing you to pause. "I wanna have some fun with this."

You sigh. "Bradley..."

He walks out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Hangman looks back up at him, eyes wide. "Anything?"

He shakes his head.

"Bagman, he's with Rebel. He's in good hands." Payback tries to reason.

"That does not make me feel better!" Hangman nearly shouts.

"Maybe they ran away to Vegas and got married." He says, sitting back down in his seat. Jake grows paler, eyes like saucers.

"You think?" He hesitates, shaking his head. "No, they wouldn't. You- If they did, you'd be freaking out."

He shrugs, taking a sip of the beer he'd grabbed from the fridge. "Maybe I just made my peace with it."

Hangman huffs. "You're funny, Bradshaw, real funny."

"I'm not kidding."

Hangman frowns. "Did they really?"

He shrugs again, just watching the man, who gazes back uneasily. It's quiet in the room for a minute as he grows more concerned before Hangman's phone rings. The blond scrambles for it, eyes wide as he answers it.

"Rebel, are you okay? Where are you?"

Hangman has the phone on speaker, so he catches that it's not his girlfriend on the phone but rather Coyote. "Hey Jake."

"You. Where the hell have you been?"

"Oh, so she gets concern but I just get anger?"

"Did you fucking run away to Vegas to marry your best friend? Because honestly Javy, I thought more of you."

"Jake, what the are you talking about?" Your phone sounds from over the phone, shifting from the other side of the phone call. "I mean we are in Vegas, but I literally just made Javy go to like seven different restaurants with me. I told Bradley that."

Hangman gapes, mouth opening and closing like a fish before he settles on anger, turning on his heel, face stony.

"Bradshaw."

#bradley rooster bradshaw #javy coyote machado #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #javy coyote machado fic #top gun: maverick #top gun: maverick fic #same mistakes

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my-soupy-brain · 9 months

Note

had a panic attack today and just wish I could be comforted by ted aftewards :(

I am so sorry you had a panic attack. I get them, too. Ted would be so comforting about it. I just know he would. Let's goooo!

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader

Warning: Anxiety, panic attacks

---

It's happening again.

That feeling like the room is getting smaller. Like your heart is both beating too fast, and not fast enough.

There's not enough air. The room is too bright. You feel...

"Hon?"

Your eyes are wide and worried. This pub is too crowded. You love your friends dearly, and Ted being next to you brings you peace, but this panic attack isn't messing around.

You slide out from the booth and head outside, taking a big gasp of air, your hands shaking as you lean against the wall and sink to the ground.

Ted is in front of you in seconds.

"Hon? Oh, darlin'... oh, it's OK," Ted whispers, as he crouches down next to you, putting his warm arm around you and nestling your head against his chest.

"It's OK, just take a breath with me," Ted encourages, his lips against your hair. You try to breathe and shake your head.

"I can't...I can't breathe..."

Ted moves to his knees in front of you, cupping your face in his big hands.

"Yes you can, shhh, it's OK. You're here. You're safe. I won't let anything hurt you," he soothes, one hand brushing down your hair.

He brings your hand to his chest.

"Breathe with me... 1...2...3..."

You do your best to follow, watching his big, worried eyes.

"Breathe out...1...2...3..."

Ted keeps one hand cupped against your face, watching your face relax just a little, second by second. He follows with another round. You can feel the panic subsiding, and the exhaustion setting in.

"I'm gonna get us a cab home," Ted whispers, holding you while one hand fishes his phone out of his pocket.

"No, no, Ted. I'll go home, you stay with your friends."

Ted shakes his head emphatically. "Nope. I'd rather be with you."

He hails a cab and helps you up, your body tired and leaning against him. Once in his flat, he takes your jacket and your shoes off, leads you into his bed, and lays you down.

Without another word, he lays down behind you, holding you close as your brain starts to wind down. His arms run up and down your side, his head nestled behind your neck.

"It's OK, y/n..." he whispers. "I'm here, you're OK..."

---

I hope you are doing well, friend. Panic is a nasty little bugger that likes to get the best of us when we least expect it. Take time, take a breath. Sending you so much love. Thanks for the prompt, my friend.

#ted lasso x reader #ted lasso x you #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fan fic #ted is a soothing soul for us all

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jazzycurls · 2 years

Text

I want to know what love is -

pt.2

Summary: After years of being stuck in an abusive marriage you are hoping to start a new life with your son. Meeting an old acquaintance awakens feelings in you that you thought were long gone. Will your broken heart allow you to love again?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Warnings/Tags: No use of y/n, angst, PTSD, domestic violence, injuries, brief arguing/raised voices, curse words, hurt/comfort, fluff, future smut, (let me know if I missed something)

Word Count: 5,050

An: Hi you guys! This is my first attempt at writing of any kind. I'm also new to Tumblr and don't know how to create links to a master list. All feedback is welcome, be gentle please haha. Please do not steal or copy my work. Don’t repost without credit. This is my written work, everything besides the characters and plot points by the original writers, belongs to me.

You impatiently tapped your foot as you stood in the checkout line of Bradley's Big Buy supermarket. The lines were extremely long today due to only one cashier manning the register. There was also some sort of party going on this weekend, you had seen numerous buggies of party foods and cheap beer being bought.

Your buggy contained a six-pack along with popcorn and some essentials for the house. You were preparing for the movie night you had planned with Eddie tonight. The both of you had agreed that he would get the movies and candy leaving you to get popcorn. The beer was something you'd thought of at the last minute while at the store.

Your son was spending the weekend with your mom and dad giving you a much-needed break. You loved your son dearly but you were looking forward to some peace and quiet.

You huffed as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, trying to ease the slight ache in your feet. The wine of a baby caught your attention, looking ahead you noticed a young woman in front of you holding her baby, patting and bouncing him on her hip trying to keep him quiet.

She looked to be in her early twenties, still a baby herself. Seeing her reminded you of yourself and how much you struggled as a young parent. You didn't have much guidance and had to rely on the advice of the older women in the park. Although you had forgiven your parents a small part of you could never forget how they had essentially abandoned you and their grandson when you needed them most.

The line shifted and you moved forward looking at your watch noting it to be a quarter past three. At this point it would be nighttime before you got out of here, you thought shaking your head.

Thirty minutes later you had checked out and were walking to your truck. You unlocked the door and began to unload your items into the passenger side.

"Hey muffin," a raspy voice said behind you.

You gasped as your body lurched forward, shaking with fear. Taking a deep breath you willed yourself to turn around, facing your husband. He stood a few feet away from you, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"What are you doing here?" your voice was edged with fear.

"I got the papers," he stated ignoring your question. He walked closer to you, slowly as if he was a predator trying to avoid spooking his prey.

You remained silent too shocked to respond. Your eyes darted left and right, seeking desperately for help or a way out.

Noticing your expression he tensed, taking his hands out and balling them by his sides. "Stop overreacting, I'm just trying to have a conversation with you." he bit out.

You opened your mouth and closed it again, your words failing you. Waiting a moment you were able to respond "Please l-let me g-go, I'm scared!" you pleaded, frantic with fear.

He sprung forward, closer towards you, invading your personal space. His arms slammed into the truck on each side of you effectively caging you in.

A bolt of panic hit you causing you to shout in fear. He slapped a hand over your mouth to shut you up and glanced around the parking lot, making sure no one had seen anything. Tears streamed down your face running over his hands.

He leaned in close his stale breath fanning across your face "I'm not signing those fucking papers, so you can just forget about that." he sneered. Suddenly he leaned back and smiled "It was nice talking with you," he said loudly. He turned and walked briskly in the other direction getting into a red car you hadn't noticed before.

You didn't dare move, making sure he got into the car and watching him drive away. As the car passed you noticed a woman looking at you, none other than Cindy Johnson. Looking closer you noticed that her features were twisted in concern and something else you couldn't interpret.

You had finally gotten home, having gone back into the store and called your father to come to pick you up. You were shaken up and were in no position to drive home. Your mother stayed at their home with your son not wanting to alert him that something was wrong.

The police were called as well and you filed a report of the incident with your father by your side for support. Lucky for you the store had just installed surveillance cameras in the parking and store due to the upsurge in disappearances lately.

You had left your truck after taking out your purchases and loading them into your dad's car. He assured you that he would find a way to get your truck home to you and not to worry about it. The drive home was silent, you were too shocked and numb to hold a conversation.

After you had arrived home, your father made sure to check the windows and called a locksmith to replace the locks on the doors. Once he was satisfied that you were okay he hugged you goodbye promising to call you later.

You were now alone, alone with your thoughts, alone with your anger, alone with the shame of the cowardice you felt, and most of all alone with the fear of what was yet to come. The clock ticked loudly making your breath suddenly catch, all air in the room seemed to dissipate, leaving you gasping for breath.

Blood pounded in your ears and you stood up in a panic trying to regain control of your senses. Your chest heaved up and down frantically as you clutched your chest in alarm, unable to catch your breath.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door catching your attention. Still gripping your chest, you stumbled to the door throwing it open. The panic you felt outweighed the thought of who could be on the other side, hoping that whoever it was could help you.

Eddie stood smiling cheesily on the other side arms full of tapes and goodies. His face quickly fell at the state you were in. Dropping everything on the porch he rushed to your side kicking the door closed.

"Hey, hey it's okay," he said softly, as he walked towards you slowly. "C-can I touch you? "I just want to help," he said sincerely holding his arms out to you.

You nodded frantically, giving your consent.

He quickly wrapped you up in his arms rubbing your back soothingly. "Take deep breaths, in and out kay"? "On three," he urged you calmly. "One....two....three.....One....two....three...." he repeatedly counted.

Your head laid upon his chest, fingers twisted in the fabric of his shirt as you desperately inhaled and exhaled on his count. Tears streamed down your face at the exertion on your body.

Slowly he lowered you both, sitting on the floor. He turned you around so your back was pressed to his chest. He continued to count and began to breathe in and out himself, allowing you to follow the rhythm of his breathing.

Leaning back you close your eyes, focusing on his words and breathing. You increase your inhale in and exhale out as you struggle to regain control of your breathing. He rubs your arms soothingly, keeping you grounded and centered.

Moments pass and your nerves finally settle allowing your body to function normally. You feel sore, your chest aching from your battle to breathe. Sitting up slowly, you move forward to get up, stumbling back to your knees.

"Whoa, whoa— take it easy,” he urges catching you before you fall. He helps you up, walking you over to the couch and setting you down gently. He sits beside you grasping your palms and begins to massage comforting circles into the back of your hands.

You avoid his eyes as a wave of shame washes over you, embarrassed that he had to witness you having a panic attack and also grateful that he showed up when he did.

"I'm sorry— I didn't..." you choke on a sob, your eyes welling with hot tears. You wipe them away angrily, ashamed all over again for having poured all of this onto him.

He pulls you into a hug wrapping his arms around you, "Don't you dare apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for." he assures you.

Fresh tears fall anew, in that moment you felt safe. Safe to let your guard down and release all of your pain. Settling your arms around his neck you lay your head on his chest, allowing yourself to cry as he held you, rubbing your back gently.

You're not sure how long the moment lasts, it feels as if it's seconds and hours at the same time. Once your tears subside, you're lulled into a calm state. Still tucked safely into Eddie's arms, not willing to break away and disturb the peace you feel. He had leaned back into the couch to get more comfortable, still keeping you in his embrace.

"My mom had really bad anxiety" Eddie mumbles above you.

You make a noise of acknowledgment, listening to him intently.

Clearing his throat he continues "My father— he wasn't a good person," "Terrorizing her every chance he could, eventually, he broke her." he stated emptily.

"I was young, too young to protect her, I had to learn how to help her whenever she had an attack," he explained.

You lower your arms to your sides and lean back from him to look into his eyes. They look cold and distant as if he's been transported to another time and place.

"I'm sorry about your mom and that you had to experience that," you say sincerely. "No child should have to take care of their parent."

He nods his head in acknowledgment. "I just don't want you to feel sorry for what just happened," he says smiling softly.

You smile in response, feeling ready to share your story as well. "My husband—" you start, stopping to take a deep breath.

Eddie takes your hand in his, squeezing gently, encouraging you silently to continue.

"My husband abuses me," you continue. "Emotionally and physically," you confide holding up your arm wrapped in the cast. "He did this to me during our last fight, if you could call it that," you state humorlessly.

"He left that night and I made the choice to leave him for good, not only for me but for my son too." "He deserves better than to be raised in a broken home, I'd rather be a single parent than to continue to allow that to happen," you say frankly.

"I served him divorce papers and I guess he finally got them." "I'm not sure how he knew where I was but he cornered me today. I had just gotten done shopping when he threatened me," you said shaking your head in disbelief.

You glance at him before continuing "I guess I just broke down and released all of my pent-up emotions," "sorry you had to witness that" you apologize again.

"I thought I told you not to apologize," he chides gently, tapping you playfully on your shoulder.

"I know, but I can't help but feel awful." "We barely know each other, you shouldn't have to be my therapist," you confess jokingly.

"Sweetheart, I think we've passed the point of not knowing each other," he chuckles.

Your breath catches at the pet name. "Well, that was a lot to unpack," you laugh. Although you still felt like shit and your body was sore beyond belief, you honestly felt like a weight had been lifted.

"Right, I've never talked to anyone about my mom and pops before." He thinks for a moment "besides my Uncle Wayne," he admits glancing at you.

"I'm honored that you were comfortable enough to share that with me" you respond flashing him a warm smile.

"Thank you for allowing me to help you," he replies sitting up a bit. "But seriously though, you're stronger than you think," he says. "Just make sure that you keep moving forward and never look back, kay? he pleads.

You nod in agreement and fall into a comfortable silence as you attempt to process all that has happened. You yawn suddenly feeling yourself beginning to crash.

You cover your mouth in apology glancing at Eddie. "Sorry," you say sheepishly.

Eddie looks at you and chuckles. "I guess that's my cue," he says slowly getting up to leave.

You grab the sleeve of his jean jacket impulsively. Not sure what possessed you to do so.

He stops in place and turns to look at you questioningly. "Everything okay," he asks.

"Yeah, I just— Could you please stay? Just in case if...." you trail off unable to finish your sentence. You drop your hand into your lap and lower your eyes to the floor thoroughly embarrassed now.

Eddie laughs lightly causing you to look up at him through your lashes. You notice that a blush has spread across his features.

He rubs a hand through his hair "Of course, as long as you don't mind my snoring," he quips. "I think I could be used as some sorta bear repellent," he says jokingly.

"Well that's good then, you will stop anyone from coming in here," you smirk.

He laughs along with you, his brown eyes crinkling cheerfully. "Where do you want me to sleep," he gestures around the room.

"The couch is a pullout, it's more comfortable than it looks," you tell him. You get up from the couch and head towards the linen closet. "Are you okay with that," you ask as you pull out a spare pillow and blanket.

"Of course, I think I can manage," he smirks. "It's not like my bed is made out of the finest silk," he laughs jokingly. He stops laughing, walking hastily to the door.

You watch him curiously as he opens your door, picking up the bags he dropped earlier. He closes the door behind him "Almost forgot about these" he explains motioning to the bags as he places the items on the table.

"This was so not how I intended our movie night to go," you say feeling slightly annoyed. At this point, it seemed like it would never get to happen.

He thinks for a moment "I'm not mad about it, it just gives me a reason to hang out with you again," he says smoothly. He goes over to the couch and begins removing the cushions to pull out the frame.

You stand there for a moment, shocked into silence. He can't mean that, right? I mean, technically you're still young but the responsibility of being a parent is what sets you apart from others your age.

"You sure you want to waste your free time with an old lady" you kid as you walk over to him to help.

As you finish setting up, he turns towards you his eyes flicker with mischief "well you sure don't look like one," he replies simply. He sits down on the pullout and takes off his shoes and jacket.

Heat spreads throughout your body at his words. Was he flirting with you or was he just being polite? You hand him the pillow and blanket "well, I guess I'll see you in the morning," you say changing the subject.

"See you in the morning," he says with a warm smile.

"Goodnight," you reply softly, backing up towards your room.

"G'night," he replies.

Smiling you turn around and enter your bedroom closing the door. Quickly dressing for bed, you hop in and turn off your light. You lay there staring up at the ceiling completely awake now.

Your mind races a mile a minute, jumping from one thing to the next. After a while, you hear snoring coming from the next room. You laugh softly as a yawn bubbles up from your chest. Turning over you finally fall asleep.

When you awake in the morning Eddie is still sleeping, snoring peacefully. Tiptoeing by him, you go to take a shower. Once you're done you get started cooking breakfast. As you're scrambling the eggs in the skillet, Eddie comes into the kitchen yawning.

"G'morning," he says blearily.

"Good morning," you reply cheerily.

He clears his throat while leaning on the counter. "Need any help," he offers.

"Yeah, could you set the plates on the table, they're in that top cabinet behind you," you say as you turn the eye off on the stove. The toast pops up from the toaster announcing that they are done and you move to take them out.

"I hope you're hungry," you say as you follow behind Eddie with the food. You spoon the food from the skillets onto both plates. You go back into the kitchen to pour some orange juice nearly dropping the cups when you see Eddie close behind you.

"Let me," he says gently, taking the cups from you and walking them over to the table.

"But you're my guest," you protest pouting.

"Yeah, but you've done enough making all of this delicious food," he says spreading his arms out. "Now, it's time for you to relax and enjoy the meal you've prepared," he tells you as he pulls out your chair.

"Thank you," you beam flashing him a smile. "Such a gentleman," you say before taking a bite out of your food.

"That's a first," he laughs as he begins to eat.

You fall into a comfortable silence as you eat your food making small talk in between bites.

Eddie is the first to finish letting out an exaggerated sigh and patting his stomach. "Wow, that was the best meal I've ever had," he exclaims. "Wait that may be the only meal I've ever had," he jokes.

You roll your eyes and grin as you get up to clear the table. Eddie beats you to it saying "please, I insist."

"Only if you let me help, non-negotiable," you reply crossing your arms with a smirk.

"Deal," he says.

After cleaning the kitchen, you both moved to the living room to clean that area as well. You folded the comforter and put it, along with the pillow back into the closet, while Eddie folded the couch back into position.

You worked in silence, once everything was finished you sat on the couch and sighed. Eddie took a seat beside you, close but not enough to invade your space.

"What do you have planned today," he asked you suddenly.

"Nothing really, I was going to go down to the mechanic later and get my brakes changed," you replied.

He perked at that and turned to you suddenly his dark eyes widening "I can totally do that for you," he exclaims.

You laugh at his sudden outburst, he was so expressive, often reacting without a second thought. You wished that you could be as carefree as he seemed.

"Are you sure?" "I don't want to ask something of you that you're not comfortable doing," you reply carefully. You don't want to offend him by questioning if he is capable to do the job.

"Of course, I work on my van and my uncle's car all the time," he says proudly. He points a finger to his chest and continues "I might not look it but I'm pretty handy with repairs.

"Well, in that case, I would be much obliged if you did fix them," you implore batting your lashes theatrically.

"Anything for you sweetness," he responds. "Do you have the parts," he asks.

No, I don't even know what type of part to get," you admit. "I was hoping that the mechanic would already have what I needed."

"That's okay, I can help with that too," he grins. "So, when do you want to go to pick up the part?"

"Anytime you're ready, also could we use your van to pick it up?" "My dad is supposed to be dropping off my car sometime later today," you say, rambling a bit.

"Well, I guess I'll go and get ready now," he says standing up.

You stand up as well and start walking with him towards the door. You step out onto the porch and bask in the sunlight for a moment tilting your head towards the sun, smiling. Just as quickly, you turn back to Eddie to find him facing you with a brow raised.

"Just recharging my batteries," you quip.

"Okay, so you're going through photosynthesis then, got it." "How often should I water you?" he deadpans.

Ewe! Eddie that's so gross," you titter giving him a light shove.

"Hey, I meant water," he argues laughing. He stops suddenly and wiggles his brows at you "what did you think I meant?" he questions.

You gasp, lowering your head to let your hair cover your flushed smiling face. "N-nothing, I d-don't know what I meant," you stammer. Pushing him off the porch you squeak out "Okay, bye! See ya later!"

He hops down your steps grinning mischievously. "See ya later neighbor," he sings skipping down the trail to his house.

You groan as you go into your home shutting your door. I wonder how many times can one embarrass themselves in one day you think as you go to get dressed.

You wait about an hour, giving Eddie time to get ready before leaving your home to meet him. As you're locking up the trailer you hear someone clearing their throat loudly.

Turning to your side you see Mrs. Brenda sitting in her rocking chair. "Hi hon, how are you today?" she asks.

You walk towards the steps of her porch and lean against the railing. "I'm doing fine, I had a rough day yesterday but I'm doing much better," you say.

"Oh no, I'm glad that you're feeling better," Is everything going to be okay?" she says worriedly.

You start to recount everything that happened yesterday, feeling comfortable doing so since she pretty much knows the history between you and your husband. With her being right next door, she's heard a lot of the fights and arguments between the two of you.

She listens patiently waiting for you to finish. "I'm sorry, that happened to you honey," she says taking your hand in hers.

"That man, and I use that word loosely, needs to be put down like the rabid dog that he is," she says venomously.

Your eyes widen, you've never heard her speak ill towards anyone before. "Mrs. Brenda!" you say amazed.

"It's true, and if I catch him around here, ill pop a cap in his ass," she says matter of factly.

You laugh deeply, holding your sides. "I thank you but I can't let you do that," you pause trying to contain the giggles. "We'll just leave it to the authorities okay?"

"Um hmm," she says as she starts rocking her chair again.

You sigh exasperatedly, "Mrs. Brenda, I'm serious I—," you're cut off abruptly by the sound of tires rolling over gravel.

Eddie pulls up in his van, rolling down his window. "Hey gorgeous," he yells out while leaning out the window and waving.

Your eyes furrow in confusion, and you lift your hand waving back shyly.

Before you can respond Mrs. Brenda speaks "Hello, hot shot," she says swooning like a teenage girl.

He looks at you with a smug smile, "Hey, you ready to go?"

You mumble goodbye to your neighbor and sulk over to the van. Eddie leans over and opens the door before you can reach it. Hauling yourself into the van, you settled down in your seat and fastened your seatbelt.

Eddie looks at you with an arrogant grin "Hey gorgeous."

"Shut up and drive," you say staring pointedly at the road with a heated flush across your face.

After you and Eddie return from your trip to the auto store. You find that your father had returned your car while you were gone. Your heart warms at how he handled everything for you, so you didn't have to. You make a mental note to thank him as soon as possible.

Eddie drops you off in front of your house and drives off to go park. You look in the flower pot by your steps and find your car keys. You had told your dad where he could leave the keys just in case you were gone.

Eddie comes around the corner with his toolbox and a jack stand. He has his hair up in a bun with tendrils of hair hanging freely. "Wow, you really are a handyman huh," you exclaim, peering at all the tools peeking out of the box.

His face and the tips of his ears turn red at your acknowledgment. He smiles in response and quickly gets to work. It's still early out and the sun is high in the sky. You sit on the porch watching for a while before heading inside your trailer.

You go to the kitchen to make sandwiches and fix some lemonade. You're done in no time and go back out with the food and drinks. As you sit everything down on the small table outside, you notice Eddie sitting on the ground with his back to you.

He's close by the wheel which is suspended in the air by the jack. Due to the humid weather, he has forgone his shirt for comfort.

Your mouth goes dry as you openly stare at his back, feeling safe to do so since his attention is focused elsewhere. His skin is pale and smooth with beauty marks dotted here and there. He's lean but still has a naturally toned build.

You watch as the muscles in his back swell and rise, straining as he exerts pressure on the task at hand. Finally, he gets the worrisome part on. You quickly avert your gaze to pick up the food and drink.

"Lunch break?" you ask with a smile.

"He turns to you smiling fondly "sure," he says setting down his tool. Dusting off his hands on his faded ripped jeans, he picks up his shirt and wipes the sweat from his brow.

You hand him the plate of sandwiches and the cup of lemonade as he sits beside you on the steps. You're silent, lost in your thoughts, as Eddie devours the food you prepared.

"Thank you," he says getting up and setting the plate down in his place.

"Is there a lot left to do?" you wonder as he goes back to his task at hand.

"Not really, I took off the old brake pad and caliper. I'm almost done putting on the new one," he says.

"Oh," you say, not really understanding.

He laughs a little as he puts another one of the parts you bought from the store. "I'll be done in about thirty minutes."

You hum in response, getting up and picking up the plates along the way. After washing the dishes you call your mom to check up on your son. He tells you about all of the fun he's having and you listen with a smile on your face. After a while, you say your goodbyes, telling him you love him before hanging up the phone.

As you walk back outside you see that your truck has been lowered and Eddie is putting his tools back in his box. He looks at you over his shoulder and hands you the keys.

"Alright, time to test those bad boys out," he says.

After you drive around the park at 10 miles per hour, tapping on the brakes. You can finally drive your car safely without Fred Flinstoning the brake pedal.

Once you've parked your truck, you are once again in front of your steps with Eddie beside you. You turn to him with a grateful smile on your face.

"Eddie, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate everything you've done for me," you choke on your words a bit, as you start to feel a little emotional.

He stands there smiling, patiently waiting for you to finish.

Tears well up in your eyes as you look up at him, smiling softly. "Even though we haven't been for long, you are a great friend and I'm thankful for you."

He stiffens slightly at your admission but you are too busy wrapping your arms around him to notice. He hugs you tightly to him and you lay your head on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. He lays his head on top of yours, rubbing his hands along your back for comfort.

You stay there a moment basking in his embrace. His scent is strong but not overbearing, the smell of his cologne, cigarettes, and off-brand laundry detergent creates a perfect blend of fragrances.

You're the first to pull away with a smile. "Thanks again Eddie, for everything," you whisper.

"Anytime sweetheart, what are friends for?" he smiles back at you warmly.

Your stomach turns at his response but you choose to ignore it. You tell him goodbye and promise to make plans for the movie night soon.

His words echo in your head over and over 'what are friends for?' Sleep doesn't come easy for you that night.

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