#i love this petty sass queen

[ruanbaijie]

RNZ in Arc 5

THE SPIREALM 致命游戏 (2024) 1.34-1.37 adapted from the danmei novel Kaleidoscope of Death 死亡万花筒 by Xi Zi Xu 西子绪

[lonepantheress]

♡ txt as sassy boyfriends

pairing: ot5!txt x reader

genre: crack

warnings: completely unserious.

a/n: working on masterlist and intro post and all soon. REQUESTS ARE OPEN BTW!! <3 tysm for all ur love. now onto the apocalypse of diva boyfriends... i got carried away

Yeonjun

He’ll “K” you if you piss him off

Actually just a sassy texter in general, but the “K” is the cherry on top because it’s like an invitation to curse him out.

Also an avid user of the eye-roll emoji.

you: who was that girl u were talking to??

yj: girl 💀

Oh! Okay!

I actually feel like he would “girl.” you a lot.

LIKE - he could be sassy outside of texting but he seriously gives me the vibe of someone who will deliberately and strategically leave you on “read” and “delivered” for hours.

Strikes me as loving to gossip about your life. 

Is someone pissing you off at work? Omg spill, tell him every detail deep down in your brain that you wouldn’t even think of repeating in the mirror!

But ask him about his drama? Nosy. You’re nosy.

Don’t ask him? You don’t care.

Soobin

The facial expressions he pulls

He is so sweet 

But if you say something that he is just not comprehending he is pulling the meanest face ever.

The eye-rolls, the snarls, the furrowed eyebrows, the sass shines through in that face.

Also gives the silent treatment real bad.

Thinking of that video where Yeonjun is like, “Are you actually upset??” and Soobin is giving 1. The dirtiest look ever 2. The cold shoulder.

He might also unintentionally say something super sarcastic and then shock both of you in the process.

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I SAID THAT, DON’T LISTEN TO ME, DON’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, DON’T-”

He would give backhanded compliments because he thinks it’s helping to not hurt your feelings.

“Soobin, what do you think of my shoes?”

“Wow! They’re definitely unique! I wouldn’t have the confidence to wear-”

“Ok. I’m taking them off.”

Over-the-top reactions to very minuscule things. 

Like, gets a stain on his shirt and gasps like he just saw a dead body and you’re like “???????????? are u ok????”

Beomgyu

Invented being a sassy boyfriend. 

Everything the other ones do, he does, and then some.

But if I had to pick one thing that just screams Beomgyu it would be sucking his teeth when he’s annoyed.

He probably doesn't even realize he’s doing it so then when you call him out he’s like, “No, I literally didn’t.”

Also just says the most outrageous princess-behavior-ish things ever.

“Okay, I gtg get my beauty sleep in. Byeee!”

Like the pretty boys in movies, if you’re playfighting he’ll go, “Not my face!!!”

Drama queen. Always has to add a little flair no matter the situation.

if you're watching a sad movie together, he might start sobbing dramatically and saying things like, "this is too much for me to handle!" or "i can't take the heartbreak!" even if it's not that emotional of a scene.

Or asking you to play a game with him so he could deliberately beat you, and then getting all mad when you beat him, “I love you, a lot, so I was just letting you win..”

Taehyun

Sarcasm

Enough sarcasm and snarky comebacks to drive you crazy.

His smart mouth makes you want to smack him sometimes.

Also a dirty-look giver.

Picturing this exact scenario rn: You guys go out to eat, he gets something that looks good, and you ask, “Can I try it pleaassseeeee??”

Cue -_- “Are you serious.”

Don’t even try catching him off guard because he’ll come up with some sarcastic comeback in an instant.

I also think he would be mature when arguing but he could petty really quickly. Especially in a situation where you both know that you’re in the wrong.

“Ok, y/n, list one thing that justifies this situation.” Followed by silence for a solid minute. “Mmmhmm, right, nothing.”

Or if you say something wrong, he’ll just go, “No, that’s not right,” and then not fucking correct you and tell you why it isn’t right.

When you spill something or unintentionally make a mess, he’ll give you a round of applause before going to help you. (I do this tbh…)

Huening Kai

You learn early on that he has an attitude problem.

He also reads into things too much.

So if you give him a short answer, he thinks you’re giving him an attitude, and he fights fire with fire. 

Tries soooooo hard to act like he doesn’t gaf about anything

“Kai, what do you want to eat? I’m about to order.” 

“Ugh.. I don’t care….. like I guess some ramen or something would be good but like I don’t care…..”

“So, you want Ramen?”

“I mean I guess that sounds good, I don’t care but yeah it sounds good.”

Classic arms crossed hip popping mom pose. 

He's a master of the eye roll and will do it often, especially when he thinks someone is being ridiculous or when you're being too extra.

But god forbid you call him extra, he might actually have an aneurysm.

The type to send you videos on TikTok and be annoyed if you just heart them but don’t give him an actual reaction.

In his mind, he is literally the next Christian Dior, and he’ll spend time putting an outfit together and act like he doesn’t care when you give him a compliment. 

“Oh? This old thing? I just pulled out whatever from my closet, you know..”

But if you criticize him in anyway shape or form, he'll go off on a tangent about how he's a trendsetter and you just don't understand his vision.

[bigdsgirl]

Alright, let's freaking go episode 11:

"I didn't know that was possible" -- well you haven't met Gu-won that's why!!!!

this drama queen "I have returned!!!"

immediately falls apart when do do hee shows up KING BEHAVIOR

i love him picking out her clothes

THE FASHION SHOW GTFO

that's right, do do hee, girlie you have taste. he looks FIRE in that outfit

MATCHING OUTFITS BYE

the petty bitch, showing up to sass God. I LOVE HIM.

bruh, pls don't regret being sassy

"when is he not glowing?" "you're right" "he's always glowing" -- these employees, icons.

the CAKE alkjglkadfgjadf -- he loves to celebrate and king i do too

uh oh uh oh scary man

SEEDS AND SCALLIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the dog's sweater alkgjdfl;kgjadf;lkgjadfgjadfg

the TATTOO!!!!!!!!!

this good news cannot last forever sigh

i luv his assistant. the sweetest man <3

sir. do not mention HER in front of him. Yeah that's right! you are getting the silent treatment!!!!!!!!

this show is iconic - the hangover cure scene is TOO GOOD!

ULTRA SANTA X LFG!

i thank the lord every day for Song Kang's stylist

oh oh oh this scene with the husband and wife with alzheimers. this is killing meeeeeeee, i am not stable enough to handle this.

I am unwell, holy fuck.

Gu Won is CRYING TOO SAME BABY

beautifully shot wowowowowowowow.

oh this fella is not the same anymore.... lol the "I was sweating" ok king.

the stake out for ms. shin lolololol. what is in the apple box!!!!!! it better be.... apples. lol.

these TWO BYE.

HOLY SHIT WHAT TAJGKLADGKLJADF HAHAHAHAH

this is exactly what i want. i LUV IT.

love has no secrets - i love this

"we can't them out do us" competitive king.

even when he sleeps he is holding her wrist!! AH!

HMMM I WONT FORGET YOU? interestinggg....

oh wait. WAIT. god's teeth are normal now... HMM HMM. on purpose? or just now that's we know who she is, it's normal.

Because fate always repeats itself - oh that line is coming back to haunt us.

the investment agreement is so freaking sketch. oh. wait. oh shit. that's her parents? oh wow. wait her father left the company??? oh wow what HAPPENED. to think I was worried about how they would continue for the next 6 episodes.

"call me bro" gu-won has a DEATH WISH (lol)

"don't mind him" -- hmm... no.

oh WAIT he sees the CROSS oh no no no

no not a flashback of her in the new house :( you will break my heart.

her relationship with the chairwoman i am sobbing

omg she wants to show him the photo of their family!

wait. wait. wait. they died on her 11th birthday? wait wait wait. wait.

she needs a hug stop 😭😭😭😭

"I want you to stay next to me"

so like, he is definitely going to "double cross", yup ok now he's being sneaky. would not go in that door bud, i feel like its gonna be BAD. sneaky, he came real fast.

BRUH SERIOUSLY AT LEAST GET AWAY BEFORE CALLING HER.

awh shit, he's alive. BOOO.

definitely faking that his son is the culprit. oh yuck.

yuck. yuck. yuck.

oh he actual is turning himself in. wowowowowow.

"the devil" - the cut to Gu-won, ow ow ow.

the way she flinches, god this man is a monster.

ah, the SFL & SML -- i hope they get to bond 🥹

HEY NO. I ALREADY SOBBED AT DESTINED WITH YOU. I DON'T NEED THIS TOO. NOPE NOPE I REFUSE.

[sergeantpixie]

My thoughts after the fourth episode of the Artful Dodger:

1. starting with Cold Hard Bitch was a great choice, i love that song!

2. “can he do it?” “maybe.” “could you?” “…yes.” lady belle really does make her point so effectively.

3. “sorry what was the first one again?” jack is made of sass actually

4. “did you know surgeons know everything about the female body?” FANNY 🤭

5. “you wouldn’t find me so tedious then.” oh fanny!

6. god i love when my ship passes a bottle between them 😍

7. “the white ghost who’s close to the grave” i screamed 🤣

8. “if we hang then you’re gonna hang too because i’m actually quite petty that way.” lmaoooo

9. “shit him up.” idk guys, i feel like she’s being crystal fucking clear, destroy that mf!!!

10. lady belle is such a NERD i find her so delightful.

11. “i love soup.” OH FANNY

12. oh so sneed is evil evil, got it.

13. Fagin is such a drama queen lmao

14. “we would have made quite the team.” YOU STILL CAN 😭😭😭

15. Red really is That Bitch tbh

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

3, 9, 10, and 49 for Grima?

Two Grima anons!! Because you all are amazing and know me and the way to my heart

3. Obscure headcanon

Honestly, I feel like I've talked enough about Grima that all my headcanons have been exhausted in the "Grima Thoughts" tag and the "Grima Wormtongue" tag more broadly on my tumblr.

I suppose one that I've never voice too much, and haven't played with (YET. GET READY.**) is that I headcanon him as distinctly Not Cis but he's very convoluted and vague about what that means. The whole seidr aspect I read onto him adds different layers to how you can interpret that, especially given some views that seidr-working might have been viewed as an alternative gender, or an additional aspect to gender, or something in that ballpark of being different from man and woman.

I just enjoy that, aside from Eowyn, he is one of the characters you can make the strongest argument for being Outside the Gender Norms of Their Respective Society. This makes me very pleased and happy.

Grima just wants to be queen. Let him be one!!

--

**this only applies to people reading What Makes a King

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

For the movies it was the tear-drop scene in TTT after Saruman sends the uruk-hai off to Helms Deep. So much regret and realization of the scope of the impact of his actions captured in a single emotional moment. And it's fleeting! But so well done. No words are needed. Just dawning horror and that stomach-dropping-out-from-your-body feeling of What The Fuck Have I Done - This Was Not How It Was Supposed To Go.

In the books it's 100% when Grima is sassing back at Treebeard. He is Peak Drowned Rat and a GIANT TREE is telling him: You need to go to Orthanc. It's voer there.

And Grima. Who has been on a horse for two days straight, riding through the night, and probbaly hasn't eaten in 48h, and is now stinking soaking wet becuase Treebeard dropped him in the muck and mire of the waters around Orthanc. That man. That man looks at the Giant Tree, the stuff of childhood legends in Rohan, and his instinctual reaction is to be the sassiest most lie-filled bitch on the planet.

What the fuck Grima.

Grima: Well, since you don't think I was here on behalf of Theoden which was My Quickly Thought Up Plan Because I DID NOT Expect This. I will now just be super sassy at you as my fall back. Seems reasonable.

Tree Beard: ????

Love that deranged bastard so much.

Grima: [sees a being way, way more powerful than him. Gandalf, Treebeard, whatever] What if I just said some sick burns and was a petty bitch for fifteen minutes??

Eomer: . .... ..,, , as a treat?

Grima: As a treat!!

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

I loved his seduction scene in the film. That whole speech is masterfully rendered by Brad Dourif and Miranda Otto is also fantastic in that scene. Seeing her tempted, truly tempted, then pulling back like: nope, nope, nope, I can't. Grima's face when she leaves. Absolutely phenomenal.

I also love the "These Men Don't Know What Personal Space Is" scene with Eomer.

Nothing to see here. Move along everyone.

In the book, the best scene is everything in the Scouring of Shire. The wanting to take Frodo's offer of a helping hand. The desperation for that salvation from himself and the situation he is in - yet, he is so trapped in whatever it is he feels for Saruman. That quasi-enslaved state by the time we get to the end of ROTK. It's so fucked up and such a fantastic representation of the push/pull of abusive situations. I want out/I can't leave/I can see a future/I can't see a future. So well done.

(And I think Saruman-Grima dynamic is something Tolkien didn't know he had - at least in terms of the potential that is in it.)

While I have gone on before about Grima's death being a let-down in terms of thematic satisfaction, I do love, love, love that he gets to kill Saruman. He gets to put the knife in Saruman's back. That is so fantastic as a full circle of all the traitors betraying each other. ALSO, of course, Grima gets to kill the man who has spent the last eleven months torturing him for shits and giggles. We love to see it.

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

I think Grima is very afraid to look at a lot of things about himself. He cannot look into the mirror straight-on. All truths about himself have to be captured in peripheral vision - which is to say, only ever faintly brushed against.

I don't know what the darkest secret is that he can't admit to himself. I suspect, for him, it's several. He's done so much harm in his life, and he's been also denied so much too, and wants so much, and has broken so much - it's all a tangled mess.

I think for Grima, what drives a lot of his actions post-Helm's Deep is a two-fold sunk-cost fallacy (that's the thing he can't admit to himself - it's not all lost. He can and should walk away. "If it's shit, hit the bricks" was not something he ever learned) and the inability to be able to see a life outside of Saruman. A path away from Orthanc. (Granted, no one was being helpful in that regard until Frodo. Literally no one. Not in any meaningful capacity.)

24. Most annoying habit

Maybe stop stealing things from people?

Probably, though, the sycophancy. The whole "oh my lord" this and "a wise/brilliant thing you said my lord" that. Ugh. Miss me with the verbal dick-sucking there, Grima.

I get why he does it. I 100% understand. I still find it grating. This is something, I will say, that turns up in fanfics more than canon. I've written it, myself, because it works for his character! It's what he would do! It makes sense post-Saruman that he would be like this! If he wasn't it would be weird! But my god Grima, get a spine and a sense of self-worth!

(Grima: shall not.)

For proper canon things, we don't really see enough of him to have specific habits to pick on. Because frankly, I find his thieving delightful and funny, if not a little whimsical. In fact, he should do more. Steal more things! Steal more things!

(Grima: Shall!!! Right now!!)

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

Scathing commentary on people he hates. This man is a gossip and a first-class professional Bitcher. He can bitch with the best of them. Hearing dirty things about people makes him so happy.

Also, I think he likes word play and clever jokes. Riddling games and the like, especially ones that are terribly, terribly clever are near-guaranteed to make him smile.

I don't know that he laughs all that much. I think he does that snort/exhale as a form of "laughing" but I don't think he does full on laughing. Save very rarely, and I think it's a shockingly warm sound for someone who is a walking glacier in many respects.

49. Favorite toy as a child

Oh gods. This is hands down the toughest question. If only becuase I have only ever envisioned Grima's childhood as fairly toyless. But he would have had toys - even in the bleakest versions he would have had toys.

I can see little Grima, as a four/five/six year old, being partial to a small, carved cow. He likes the gentle eyes and is familiar with cattle and they smell like home. I can see him also having a small wagon as a boy and he would go out to a small copse and pretend to be a runaway who has joined up with a band of robbers or highway men. In the wagon he'd pack food and water and such, also his bow and a small knife.

Practicing a quick get-away since he was eight.

----

Thank you both so much! <3 <3 <3 This got long but 0 regrets. Grima deserves it.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Stranger Things incorrect quote generator (feat. The Girls, Max and her Moms, El and her Moms, Murray adopting Robin AU +Robin Protection Squad)

Pt 11

The Girls

Chrissy, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Robin: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

(She knows, and she doesn't care 😌)

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Vickie: I lost Nancy.

Max: How did you LOSE Nancy?!

Vickie: To be fair, they are very small.

(You're the same height)

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Vickie: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?

Robin: What the hell!?

Vickie: Oh, sorry, my bad.

Vickie, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?

Robin, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

(sus)

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El: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Chrissy: Well, that would such because you can't microwave metal.

Erica: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

(Erica fitting perfectly)

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Nancy, holding a fork: You know your talking a lot of shit for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the blackmarket.

Vickie: ....

Nancy: *lip smack*

(....what did you do?)

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Max, handing a balloon to Chrissy: I have no soul. Have a good day!

Chrissy, walking off: I don't have one either.

(Ye, she made a deal or smth)

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Nancy: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Max: But ya' didn't!

(And she regrets it)

(not)

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Max: I think my guardian angel drinks.

(Well, I think from the others too)

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Erica: Which way did El go?

Robin: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.

Erica: You could really figure it out from that?

Robin: No, you idiot, El sent me a text. See?

(Omg, Robin sassed the sassy Queen, which she already did in the show once tho actually.. I think)

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Vickie: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Vickie: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

(who you holding a grudge on?? Also does it fit to Vickie?)

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Robin: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Vickie: Apparently, we're not.

(welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

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Chrissy: Can we go to a haunted house?

Max: What’s wrong with the one we live in?

Robin: Wh-what?

Max: Goodnight, Robin.

(Nancy should have left you in that street corner you were standing at /j)

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Eden: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Erica: Do not do that.

Eden: You won’t even notice!

Suzie, entering: Eden, you wanted to see me again?

Eden: Erica's single

Erica:

(Eden likes Erica, so she tries to set Suzie up with her...???)

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Eden: Guys where did El go?

Erica: They got arrested.

Eden: How the hell-

El: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

(✨the Es✨)

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El: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Max: I saw you.

El: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Vickie in a turkey costume.

(Elmax🥺✨... Not gonna comment on the rest)

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Max: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.

(You really are Nancy's daughter 🙌 you can't tell me Nancy wouldn't love to not have any responsibilities and just hit people)

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Robin, to Nancy: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Nancy: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Robin: You just told me you're pregnant.

Suzie: Congratulations Nancy, you're glowing!

(but what if she's actually pregnant 👀 and ofc it was planned)

Bonus:

Nancy: No idiot... I'm.. I'm actually pregnant..

(Robin would be full on happy tears, not Max being jealous of them actually having their own baby, but she's be an older sister✨ idk what the hell I just came up with lol)

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Erica: What should I do?

Robin: *holds out hand* May I suggest dinner with a friend?

Erica: Well, none of my friends are available, so I guess I'll have to go with you.

(Damn, but Robin knows you not serious👀)

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Max: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.

El: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

(Max, I know Robin somehow succeeded in dating Nancy with that tactic but that doesn't mean it's gonna work with El. But also I think El wouldn't react like that lol..also maybe it's S2?)

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Vickie: Damn, the power went out.

El: Don’t worry, I got this.

El: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Vickie: What-?

El: I swallowed a glow stick!

Vickie, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

(She thought it was colorful spaghetti)

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Robin, to El: If you see Max, give them this message *makes a neutral face*

Robin: They'll know what it means.

*later*

El: oh, and Robin said to give you a message.

El: *makes a neutral face*

Max: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

(more like her disappointed dad face)

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Erica: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Max:

Erica: Vroom vroom, come out already.

(well it's either in the future or Erica has those mini cars that can actually drive....and I'd love that)

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Erica, shooing Robin away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

(I feel like that was in the RV after the Vickie thing)

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Vickie: Do you have a self-care routine?

Robin: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

(Fun fact (probably only fun for me): in the scene where she lists out the language she can speak, if you watch it in Italian she says German instead of Italian...I didn't watch it in French or spanish so idk what they said there)

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Max: Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat.

Erica: I don’t usually eat with losers.

Max: Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?

(Well Damn, Erica wanted to take the cake but Max ate it without leaving crumbs)

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Robin: Why were you up yesterday until 3am?

Nancy: How did you know I was up until 3am?

Vickie: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

(Nancy loving Friends? Sure, I'm all in for it... Even tho I haven't watched it lol)

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Max: Why are you guys acting like this?

Robin: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

(Max first time coming over to the sapphic senate)

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Vickie: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Nancy does? What if they jump off a cliff?

Robin: If Nancy were to jump off a cliff, they would have done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Nancy jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Vickie: You jump off a cliff.

Robin: Gladly, provided Nancy did first.

(um.. She has a point 🤔.. Also maybe she's just a simp...honestly same tho)

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Eden: Did you have to stab them?

Chrissy: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Eden: What did they say?

Chrissy: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Eden: That’s fair.

(Eden and Chrissy 👀 are you high?)

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Robin: Damn, Suzie, are you secretly cool?

Suzie: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Robin: I do not.

(Suzie playing poker tho, that'd we fun)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Didn't you die?!

Chrissy: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

(Nancy, chill, you've seen stranger things...or more like, I thought you were not stranger these things)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: What are you eating?

Erica: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.

Robin: I like you, don't I?

(Oop- Erica be getting a taste of her own medicine in these quotes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eden: Last night I found out Suzie is a sleep talker.

Max: Oh, really?

Eden: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

(when Eden and Suzie stayed over, they had to share a room, so that's how she found out)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El, texting: Answer your phone

Vickie, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone

El: Understood

El, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Vickie.

(How dare you do this to El 😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

(I feel ya... Mostly because I don't do anything...)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Max and her Moms]

Robin: Did you have to stab them?

Max: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Robin: What did they say?

Max: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Nancy: That’s fair.

(Understandable)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: What is wrong with you?

Robin: Loaded question. Elaborate.

(In the Creel house)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…

Max: What’s updog?

Nancy: Robin! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

(Robin proud and jealous because she couldn't do it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit.

Robin: Fruits that do live up to their names?

Robin: Orange.

Nancy, trying to fall asleep again: Robin. Please go back to bed..

Max, sleepy: she's got a point tho..

(Family cuddles✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Nancy: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Max: Well she couldn't have done stranger things then that.

Nancy: Rude

(sorry idk, I just wanted that joke and Max included..)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Are you sure Robin's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

Robin: I hope Nancy doesn't find out I'm gay. But I'm barely even looking at her, she has to have figured it out...

Max, who heard to both of them:...are they serious?

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.

Robin, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.

Max, obviously knowing what's going on: Wow, Nancy was late too! What a coincidence!

(Max just wanted a Girls hang out 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Bro-

Nancy: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Nancy: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Max:...I didn't need to know that....should I just go?

(Robin was so embarrassed 😬)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I didn't drink that much last night.

Max: You were flirting with Nancy.

Robin: So what? They're my partner.

Max: You asked if they were single.

Max: And then you cried when they said they weren't

(Max loves having embarrassing stories about Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[El and her Moms, since I saw a post about Chrissy and Vickie adopting El because Ronance has Max]

El, talking about Chrissy: Is this a friend of yours, Vickie?

Vickie: Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

(El doesn't know they're dating (same with Ronance) and Vickie just answers like that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: You disgust me.

El: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

(El 😭)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: Where did you get that tomato soup?

El: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

(Chrissy in b flat)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Why is Chrissy crying?

Vickie: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Chrissy: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

El: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Chrissy: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

El: NO, NOT THAT!

(😭😭💔💔😔😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*While planning to break in somewhere (trying to break out El)*

Chrissy: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"

Vickie: What?

Chrissy: "Get Help."

Vickie: No.

Chrissy: C'mon, you love it!

Vickie: I hate it.

Chrissy: It's great! It works every time!

Vickie: It's humiliating.

Chrissy: Do you have a better plan?

Vickie: No.

Chrissy: We're doing it!

Vickie: We are not doing "Get Help!"

*A Minute Later*

Chrissy, carrying Vickie: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Vickie at guards, knocking them out*

Chrissy: Ahh, classic!

Vickie: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating.

Chrissy, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

(Well I didn't know Chrissy could throw Vickie)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie, to Chrissy: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Chrissy: And I started thinking.

Chrissy: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Chrissy: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Vickie: Are you ok?

(does this next incorrect quote answer your question?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

(does it?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.

Chrissy: You're kinda ugly.

(another quote)

Chrissy: And how do you want your coffee?

El: Black, like my soul.

Chrissy:

Chrissy: El, your soul is a latte.

(I love her ✨🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: El, what are you doing?

El: *shaking a cat shaped piggy bank* I’m just trying to figure out how much change I have inside.

Vickie: You could always take it out and count it.

El: Where’s the fun in that?

(yea, stop making logical ideas)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Vickie: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

El: Yes.

Vickie: I love you.

El: It back.

*Later*

Chrissy: Why is Vickie crying face-down on the floor?

(El confused on what she did wrong, because she said 'it back')

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: So I was just having a conversation with El about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere!

El: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time.

Chrissy: Like... who the fuck put this hole here???? And why????

El: Exhaust?

Chrissy: Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA.

El: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole…

Chrissy: Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive.

El: We're onto something here!

Chrissy: Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole.

El: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.

Chrissy: His lightsaber does though.

*El thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes*

Chrissy: What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side.

El: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side.

Chrissy: Fair point.

(oh God, who introduced them to Star Wars...but also very interesting tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Vickie, I don't like you.

Vickie: What did you say?

Chrissy: You heard me!

Vickie, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

(or rollerskates)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Chrissy: Fight me!

Vickie, standing behind them and holding a knife with El standing there having death glare: *mouths* Do not.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Murray adopting Robin AU: Robin's protection Squad]

Erica: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Lucas:

Erica:

Lucas: ...Please, go back to bed.

(Erica trying to convince Lucas to also bully Steve)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Max... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now.

Max: *muffled* mm hmmm :)

Robin: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

(this is so fucking adorable 🥺😭 *holds gently* 🤲)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Murray: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

(Well, he's not that wrong)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Erica, I am questioning your sanity...

Robin: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

(When Erica suggested something to do against Steve)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Max: It was Robin.

Lucas: It was Robin.

Erica: Robin broke it.

Robin:

Robin: ...yOU PROMISED-

(wow, what a great protection Squad)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team.

Erica: Sounds fake but ok.

(we're all in this together 🎶)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Murray: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Lucas:

Lucas: *sobs*

Max: You fucking scared them, you idiot.

(Poor Lucas 🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Squad reactions to being called straight:

Max: The fuck, no I'm not.

Nancy: Excuse the hell out of you?

Erica: Ding dong, you are wrong!

Lucas: Who told you that? And why did they lie?

Murray: Rude.

Robin: *punches the person*

(Nancy joins the protection Squad later in the AU, anyway seems accurate enough without changing)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Lucas: No.

Erica: I did not.

Murray: I may have actually forgotten one.

Max: Also no.

Robin: Oh good, neither did I.

Nancy: *Exhausted sigh*

(Love them all)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Max: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Lucas: ...I did. I broke it.

Max: No. No you didn't. Robin?

Robin: Don't look at me. Look at Murray.

Murray: What?! I didn't break it.

Robin: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Murray: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Robin: Suspicious.

Murray: No, it's not!

Nancy: If it matters, probably not, but Erica was the last one to use it.

Erica: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Nancy: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Erica: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Nancy!

Lucas: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Max.

Max: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Erica: Max... Robin's been awfully quiet.

Robin: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Max, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Max: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Max:

Max: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

(Max in b flat 😪 but I love how fitting it is tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: You know, when Steve comes over, Max can get a little…

Erica: Psycho?

Lucas: Scary?

Robin: Drunk?

Nancy: All three.

(I wonder why 😑)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Time for plan G.

Robin: Don’t you mean plan B?

Nancy: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Erica: What about plan D?

Nancy: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Lucas: What about plan E?

Nancy: I’m hoping not to use it. Steve dies in plan E.

Max: I like plan E.

(I think Erica also likes plan E)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, at Nancy: You're my significant other.

Nancy: Yeah I am!

Robin, at Max: You're my child.

Max: Yes boss.

Robin, at Steve: You're my bitch.

Steve: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Robin, at Lucas: My bestie.

Lucas: Naturally.

Robin, Erica: HA, GAY!

Erica: Fuck you.

(She only did it because Erica say it to her once)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Bye Nancy! Bye Lucas! Bye Steve! Bye Erica! Bye Nancy!

Max: You said ‘bye Nancy’ twice.

Robin: I like Nancy.

(we know)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Between Robin, Erica, Steve, and Nancy -- if you had to -- who would you punch?

Max: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.

Lucas: Steve?

Max: Yeah, but I don't know why.

(you know why 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: You're alive.

Steve: There's no need to sound so disappointed.

(Plan E didn't work 😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Murray: That sounds like a dare to me.

Lucas: Oh my god.

(Murray no.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Robin: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*

Robin:

Robin: It's perfume.

(well at least your breath won't stink?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: This is getting embarrassing.

Robin: Getting? We’re already there!

(Erica when they have on of their hang outs including Lucas and Max)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas, when Max walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.

Lucas: *accidentally smacks Robin in the face with the baking sheet*

(Lucas apologized a million times)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max to Steve: I don't dab. I stab.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Hey Erica, do you wanna help us?

Erica: Oh, I would... but I don’t want to.

Max: But we have a plan in how to get revenge on Ste-

Erica: I'm in.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.

(That was Robin after she distants herself from the party)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: I don’t mean to be rude—

Robin: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

(Erica and the other checking in on Robin when she distances herself)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Big day today, Lucas. *holds up two shirts* Mustard stain or ketchup stain?

Lucas: Mustard– looks less like blood.

(Ronance adopting Lucas and Erica✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Robin.

Erica: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.

Erica: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.

Robin: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.

Erica: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.

Robin: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.

Erica: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

(We shall never know😔)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Who hurt you?

Robin: *snorting* What, do you want a list?

Lucas: ...Yes, actually.

(When they found Robin at Murray's, also love Lucas ❤️✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Erica:

Lucas: Vroom vroom, come out already.

(Lucas you better run 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Lucas's birthday invitations.

Max: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Robin: "Lucas's birthday".

Max: So, what do they say instead?

Robin: "Lucas’s bi".

Max:

Max: Works out either way.

(Cute)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?

Lucas: A pet WHAT?!

Erica: William Snakespeare.

(does it fit? Idk.. kinda?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Steve: Bees?

Max: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Steve: Wait-

*Lucas approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

(That's what Erica didn't want to help with, but then did help)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Steve doesn’t deserve you.

Murray: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Robin: I'm gone.

Murray: Now go chop their dick off.

(Murray when Robin told him about what Steve did)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Nancy: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Robin I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Nancy, very much awake: Uh oh.

(well let's see if that ends well)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(nsfw?)

Robin: Nancy, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Nancy, naked in Robin's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Robin, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

(well that ended more then well)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

If you want more context for the

Murray adopting Robin AU

look at @corgiplays post

(sorry that I added you, I actually didn’t want to at first but few quotes actually fit the AU so I decided to add you and people can find the post easier)

hope you liked it!

Lots of love ✨❤️🤗✨

[buttercuparry]

The version of Arya this fandom supposedly wants us to "accept", is the one who says: most girls are idiots. Who remains apathetic after carrying out an assassination- that is has no qualms about being an assassin and is happy to just quote sassy one liners and leave the ruling and politics to the supposedly more "proper" Stark.

While my previous post about the ferret queen was just that-me being petty and even the name calling that I am going to do in this post or that I have done previously is the pettiness talking, I would genuinely like to look at this more seriously.

I don't know if the idea that is being subscribed to, that is the idea that indeed the book will have a similar ending or rather the same ending as the show, is because the ferret got her crown: but regardless of that I want to know where exactly did the show and the book converge for them to have a "prediction" about Arya? Was it when the show actively tried to posit Arya as the troublemaker by making her throw food at a banquet? Or making her leave her needlework not because she was once again made to feel worthless by the septa but because she wanted to flex her supposed archery skills on her brother? (This aforementioned skill which has no basis in canon and appeared just so that Arya can sass back to Lem about hitting the target prefectly in the cock, tit and head and have a "sisterly bonding" moment with Ferret 🤢🤢).

Did the supposed prediction come from when perhaps the show, unlike the books saw Arya stabbing away at the table in her (very valid) anger at Joffrey? I seem to remember that in the books Arya felt miserable and all she wanted was to run back to winterfell or to the wall. Is this the 'running away' that is referenced to when the ferret stans have their oh-so-book-compliant meta discussion? Or do they, much like their fave, are impartial to only particular bits of narrative. They say that Arya just wants acceptance as she is and we don't do that. Lmao. The 'acceptance' they think Arya demands from the narrative is one where she is let to go stabby stab stab to her heart's content, be indifferent to any kind of romantic love, talk shit about women, and be a "lone wolf", that is fucking away to nowhere in search for "adventure". By the way I am sure in their mind, this adventure has less to do with any discovery of any kind and more to do with Arya ending up as a sellsword...you cannot convince me otherwise.

Funny thing though, when that ferret Stan said that Arya going on her little boat trip very much parallels our real world history in a certain way, especially when show!Arya turned a xenophobe- I wonder if they realize what it implies for their precious ferret queen?

Anyway back to the discussion at hand. Since the ferret Stans are so canon oriented, do they think this prediction they had for Arya comes from the choice of the name of the direwolf? As in Princess Nymeria sailing from Rhoynar and ending up on the coast of Dorne? Well...they must surely have the reading comprehension to relate that should this be a clue to Arya's future then the only way it comes into play is if Arya, the princess, much like Nymeria, the princess, sails away in search for a new home along with her people. And by people I mean not a handful of westerosis or northmen but more or less the whole of the north to escape some kind of apocalypse. Pretty sure this is not what they supposedly have talked about because then where would their ferret queen end up?In an empty hall :( with only ghosts at her command :( :(

I seem to remember another set of text lines but I am doubtful of them considering these lines. But since they have claimed to be connoisseur of canon, who am I, who as an Arya Stan have so little knowledge on canonical events to question them? Anyway when they said they predicted Arya's journey on the show by reading the books, were they by any chance talking about the lines where Arya got to know about Bran-Rickon's death. Where she said she wants to fly to Winterfell to see for herself if this is true and then fly away and never come back ( unless she wanted to), if her younger brothers truly are dead? I think...I am not sure but I think...I think they forgot to consider the "condition" Arya set herself. Should her brothers much like all other family members are lost to her, only then would she leave Winterfell. I mean it's pretty basic English, maybe this wasn't what was used to "predict" Arya's fate in the show. But umm...there weren't any of these in the show...how strange to use one piece of text to predict what's going to happen in media. Truly it is a talent gifted to few.

I mean show!Arya couldn't wait to go to HoBaW. And here we have book!Arya, telling Jaqen that she can't go with him. She has to look for her mother. To connect these to opposing journey and arriving at a prediction of Arya leaving Westeros is galaxy brained. I wonder if they learnt such deductions from their precious Ferret. Afterall she is a political genius without doing anything really so...🤷🏽

Since we are talking about canon that is the books, and relating it the show, umm...did they by any chance go over the boat scene where Arya tried to pay for the ship to take her to the Wall? I mean this obviously proves she doesn't want anything to do with family. Afterall she didn't even protest when the captain said they are bound to Bravos! Arya is so big and muscly afterall...she should have forced them to take her to the Wall!!

Oh and yeah magic doesn't matter. So all the tidbits where the old gods themselves are guiding her, reaffirming her identity and even sending her boons ( according to Arya) in Braavos is just...irrelevant. After all the critics and literature enthusiasts have minutely gone over the text! Their precious Ferret don't have much going on in that department so of course this means nothing. I mean these are irrelevant when it comes to building winterfell like snow castles ( which got destroyed but hey! That's besides the point). Truly how can we ever be as canonically knowledgeable as them.

[tellatoast]

Thinking about good Harrington parents like,,

Richard and Maggie Harrington who try their best to call little Steve every night to say “Night night Stevie, mommy and daddy love you so so much, we’re sorry we’re not there to tuck you in, but we’ll be back next week to see all your games and…” etc etc.

Richard and Maggie who hang any and all medals Steve gets, cook Steve’s favorite whenever he gets a good grade on a test or makes a home run in little league, always getting ice cream after

Steve ends up being a daddy’s boy,, I’ll elaborate

I know for a fact that Richard definitely spoiled Steve when he was born, just completely in love with his baby boy, holding him, rocking him, humming and singing to him, talking to him, just being an excited and new father to his little bundle of happiness and joy

Def see Rich teaching Steve his ABC’s and how to walk (doing the thing where you put the baby’s feet on top of yours and walking around) and desperately trying to get Steve’s first word to be ‘Dada’

Toddler age: Richard is chasing Steve around the house pretending to be the monster, doing big roars while Steve runs and screams and laughs

Steve trips, falls, and starts to cry. Richard sweeps him up and rocks him side to side, patting his back, telling his baby that, “You’re ok, Stevie. You’re fine. Everything’s alright, ok?” And does that until Stevie stops crying, telling him, “Look at you, honey. All big and strong. You didn’t even get hurt! You’re alright, my strong boy.” (I feel like I’m projecting rn,,, damn)

With Maggie now, she totally teaches him about style in fashion, makeup, and hair. Plus, he definitely gets his sass and attitude from her.

With baby Steve, she sings to him in Italian when putting him to sleep, talks to him with a mix of Italian and English.

With toddler Steve, whenever she talks to him, he’ll babble back in a mix of Italian and English, not complete words but enough to know that that’s what he’s speaking in

Maggie is one to stand up and talk back to whomever wronged her or her family

Example: Maggie heard some Karen talking shit while out shopping with Steve and Richard about how she’s foreign and doesn’t speak English, how she probably doesn’t know how to treat and please her husband like good wives do (everyone knows that she married and had a baby with Richard Harrington (hottie of the century)and all the other ladies were so jealous and acting petty about it)

Maggie, a multilingual queen, hears this and Richard and Steve find her sternly talking to a crying woman, the woman’s husband by her side, consoling her.

She teaches him the basics of makeup and lets him practice on her, they cook together, and she teaches him the magic of the Farrah Fawcett Spray

I imagine them singing in Italian whenever dinner is being made (like when he’s in his tween years)

————————————————————————

That’s all I have for now, but yay!

Also, this was a lot of Richard and baby Steve thought out, probably bc of my crippling daddy issues BUT we don’t speak about her.

[gentil-minou]

omg mdzs!!!!!! congrats to see you getting into that!! do you have a fav character?

God the better question is WHO DONT I LIKE????

obviously obsessed with Wei Wuxian the prettiest little shit ever. He is nicknamed Bestie. I have a lot of feelings about him but mostly I think he is shojo manga heroine levels of wonderful and I love him for that.

Then we got Lan Wangji who has some of the BEST sass. I loved him in the drama because his acting was so good despite so few lines, but omg in the book is is AMAZING. The scene where they play tag bdsm style??? Obsessed he is baby. Also the novel makes me think he's ASD coded which makes me very happy yes.

His nickname is Boyfriend because of course. He is also shojo manga levels of heroine and hero and he rocks it. I will gift him many bunnies and ribbons to tie up wwx with sjsjfjjs.

I could watch them watch each other for hours ajdjjdjsjjd I'm usually good at not shipping real life people but god....please give me strength their bts videos are just sjfjkakfkks.

Then we get the other characters who all have important nicknames as well. Wen Ning is Puppy Bestie because he is a puppy. Im honestly in shock that his actor is actually one of the oldest cast members because um what????? This baby be 30+?????

I loved him and his sister so much and was so upset that her death was just like off screen????? Excuse me????? For my queen?????

She is Queen Bestie of course. I worship the ground she walks and honestly I need fix it fics. Also her friendship with wwx was so good????? Like I just wanted them to bffs why did they do her dirty whyyyyy.

Jiang Cheng is Angry Bestie. I don't need to explain myself. Boy needs therapy. I will not be the one offering it to him though he too much for me.

Or just give him bunnies I guess. I wish we spent more time on him and wwx reconciling but thats what fics will be for!

The youth kiddos are baby besties. A-Yuan gets an extra high pitched squeal added to his name because he is extra baby

I can't decide if they are my favorite but I'm so excited for all the fics about them being a family SO EXCITEDHDJFJKS (send recs if you got any btw)

Took me a while to warm up but Jin Ling was great and his scenes with wwx was just so much fun to watch. Also the actor is like the same age as lwj's and I'm like????? The skill to act that much like a whiney teenager. Amazing.

(Please send me fics where his parents are alive I need them I need them like air)

(Also side note: making the fearsome historied terrifying Yiling Patriarch afraid of doggies???? Genius!!!!)

Jiang Yanli made me sob so many times cause I spoiled myself early to not get attached to the characters who die but then of course I was an idiot and got attached anyways. She is Soup Bestie or Sister Bestie. Depends on the day.

The best part of their dynamic was me realizing I have chaotic middle child energy like wwx. And she's such a good big sister like she made me want to call my own and tell them I love them and thanks for making that god awful kraft Mac and cheese with soy sauce and Broccoli and did I mention I cried a lot? Like so much (please send fix it fics kthnx)

Lan Xichen is Brother Bestie but honestly he should really be the Number 1 Wangxian Shipper and Wingman.

Boy knew his lil brother was pining over a dead evil guy for decades and supported him. We stan.

I just realized I didn't give Nie Huisang a nickname oops but also i saw somewhere that his idea of faking incompetence so other people will get shit done is genius. I love him, I want to be him. Hence forth he shall be known as Girlboss Bestie.

^me every goddamn day of my adult life.

I kinda hate myself for this but I also have a soft spot for Xue Yang. He's such a petty little piece of shit but also his crazy and evil vibes were just so good. I think I wouldn't have felt the same way if I read the novel version first instead if the drama, but god did I love the way this actor brought him to life. He is called Psychotic Bestie and he wears that title with pride.

This scene did so many things to me it must have been bait but yes twas I, the baited.

Would personally like to sue mxtx for the emotional abuse that was the Yi City arc thank you. Blissfully ignoring canon to say that the moment Song Lan left that city A-Qing and Xiao Xingchen came back to life from the power of gay vibes and found family alone thank you very much.

I can't fit anymore gifs but the short answer is I love everyone I'm so deep deeeeeep deep in this and I think I'll be in here for a while

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

I have no idea if you’re still taking these asks but.. could i maybe have a tolkien ship?

I’m a 24 yr old woman, unlabeled :). I work in the fashion industry and I am a very “fashionable” person, I love shopping (perhaps a little too much haha) and doing hair, makeup etc. I also adore just relaxing, reading a good book, listening to Lana del Rey or Mitski, taking a candle lit bath, picing flowers and having a picnic etc, I can however get a bit adventurous and I love traveling, and I try to go on atleast one trip a year and I would love to have a SO to adventure with but still settle down. I’m definitely a marriage girl, idk about kids maybe one or two? Would depend on SO opinion :). I really enjoy art, not just painting/drawing but looking at art and appreciating it, specially renaissance art. I love a good trip to the museum, art and historical (I’m a bit of a history nerd). I enjoy the winter a lot, even though I do enjoy the grassy fields and warmth of summer I love the snow, skiing, ice skating and snowball fights are big loves of mine.

Personality wise I am stubborn, loyal, playful and very sassy. I probably could not date someone who was overly serious but I would need someone mature enough to have serious conversations. The stubbornness I’m working on but if I believe I’m in the right I will not give up, even if it seems like I have I can be VERY petty and I do not forget haha. I’m very loyal. You hate them? No, WE hate them. I of course have my limits and when that trust is broken it can never really be the same for me. The sass is probably my favorite trait, I cannot go a sentence without saying something ironic or sassy, its my sense of humor. My worst trait is probably that at first sign of “danger” I kinda just say “nope” and thats that, so I would need someone understanding with that.

Some dealbreakers: I do not date people who arent feminists and believe in human rights like blm etc. I probably couldnt date someone who didn’t show affection or love towards me ( I need to know I’m loved 😫). Couldnt date someone controlling. Couldnt date someone who doesnt like animals and small children (I have smaller siblings). Respect is important to me and treating people with kindness.

I hope this is enough information, thank you so much and have a great day <33333

usually I don't anymore but omg, for you I will, I had sm fun reading through this!

I ship you with....

Prince Fili!

He's so definitely absolutely perfect for you!!! First of all, he fits your description so well: He's mature, but adventurous, he's able to let go and be childish but be serious all the same. He's definitely one for children and animals as well! like, I think he'd be fine with not having pets or children, but he'd totally want them and he'd be head over heels if you told him that you wanted to have children! He's so supportive as well.

Also, just, all that you talked about would be stuff he'd adore. You like to read? Would you perhaps like to read to him? Because he's gonna listen to you for years if you say yes. Do you want to walk through the halls of the castle and talk about history? He'd spend hours trailing after you and pointing out details and asking you what you think of them. You want a picnic? That's what he prepares for your anniversary. He doesn't gift you a bouquet of flowers, his present is going flower picking with you.

He would really appreciate you being fashionable honestly. Like, it's not something he'd ever expect, but since he's not really talented at doing stuff like that, he would love having you dress him for royal dance balls for example. And he has zero problem with you spending some money on clothes etc either! Actually really adores it, he'd probably tease you at times - just a little bit - but he'd pay for everything and he'd carry it all home. It would also just be a great addition because, well, you'll be the future queen. It's always a plus to look amazing in that position - and Thorin is a big fan of it too. So you got family approval!

Let's be real, Dis would love you. I don't need to say anything else here.

Just one more little detail: You said you'd need someone showing you that they love you, and don't you dare question whether Fili would do that. He'd be telling you and he'd be showing you and he'd be constantly bringing you gifts and it's so important to him that you know that he loves you. Whenever he's away (princely duties!) he makes sure to put a little present on the bedside table for you before he goes, and when he comes back, no matter what, he leaves being prince be for a day and spends it with you. Regardless of how long he was gone, whether that was a day or a month.

And because I absolutely can't stop myself: He'd propose in winter and spend a whole year calling you his "soon to be wife" only for him to marry you exactly 365 days later, also in winter, because he knows that that's your favourite season. He never ever stops calling you his wife after that. It's his new nickname and he will use it until the day he dies.

[abyssal-ali]

Angry Birds (and Bats)

My thoughts on the Bats vs JL members

(Disclaimer: this will also include my hcs and not be completely canon)

Feel free to yell (or even speak nicely) at me if you think I'm wrong!

Its up to you to decide if they're truly angry or have just been strongly provoked.

Expectation: Okay so if the JL doesn't know that the Red Hood is Jason, ( aka Robin the Second, their blorbo), or they believe Bruce saying he's emotionally unstable, etc--- Red Hood will be the one they're most wary of purposely aggravating, lest he retaliate with another Duffle Bag of Doom. He's the biggest, most trained, has the least inhibitions and most guns & connections, etc.

Reality: He'll not retaliate so that you know it's him (although who else would it be?) Your demise (social, political, financial, etc) will be carefully planned and executed just when you’ve relaxed and thought maybe he wasn't actually that angry.

Expectation: Bruce is always kept at an arm's length because he's the most silently intimidating. He also has the most experience, power, and he will be absolutely ruthless if you make him mad. Thus, he'll be an adult and attack you on your level.

Reality: Bruce's middle name isn't Thomas, it's Petty. You'll be insulted but they'll be so well-worded you can't make a case for it. (Years of surviving in Gotham's high society has honed his insult-with-a-smile skills.) Your things will go missing, speedbumps will appear on cases (nothing to damage the case, but inconvenience you), he "won't have heard" or "seen" you in a briefing, you'll be picked last, etc. *Bruce* will attack as an adult, using his Wayne status and power, but *Batman* will be the petty drama queen that he is.

Tim will absolutely destroy you. He'll give you a couple days to think that he's calmed down...he may have, but he'll still be out for blood. Your tech will fail, you'll be locked out of your house, and when you finally get on you'll be greeted with a glitter bomb.

When Dick finally snaps he will be a volcano and completely unpredictable. Depending on the offense, he may enlist his siblings to help terrorise you and yours. He may also receive a red lantern ring, who knows?

Damian, when he is annoyed/offended, will scream for your blood as he charges with his katana. When he is truly angry, look out! It's personal and he wants your head as a trophy. He'll be silent and deadly, as opposed to letting everyone know you've irritated him. (This is also the approach Jason takes.)

Steph: So. Much. Glitter. You will never be free from the sparkling menaces again. You will also be heavily inconvenienced and may or may not be in hot water with the other Bats.

Cass: This angel can do no wrong. She'll let it go and never get her hands dirty. ....you'll just have to deal with 8 angry Bats, not 1.

Babs: Good luck getting your identity back, sucker. Expect to be locked out of all your tech or have problems with it somehow. You'll also hit all red lights when you're driving home, to put the cherry on tip of your extremely difficult day.

Alfred: You're dead. He'll take his shotgun to the backyard and practice shooting clays with your face on them. He'll sass you to your face and do incredibly slighting deeds the normally polite butler would *never*. Then he's the bigger man and let's it go.

Duke: I love him but I don't know much about him :( (Feel free to add your opinions!) He'll probably ask his siblings to brainstorm appropriate forms of revenge and you'll be the focus of a batfam prank war, which is *not * for the faint of heart!

[savemefrommydreams]

*Spoilers* for both the book and the show

Another Bridgerton post because I am still not over it. I absolutely love Kate and Anthony, but many other people have spoken about them better than I could and blessed us with gorgeous gifs, so can we talk about the other characters for a moment?!

I wish Lady Danbury was my aunt, because that woman would call me out if I ever needed it (and let’s be honest, I’d probably need that reality check), she’s supportive, so dang full of sass and wit and poise. She’s such a badass and she is nit afraid to put people in their place, and shes besties with the queen? Can she please adopt me?! I love her relationships with other women, my favourite is her friendship with Lady Bridgerton, and how there’s a bit of a light shed on female friendships of older women who’ve lived life and experienced so much, whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or having to hold their ground and position in respectable society.

Eloise, oh what would I do without her? And I love how in this season, she’s grown into so much more than just joined at the hip with Penelope, because she’s got her own thoughts and it feels more like they’re not sharing a single brain cell anymore, which is fantastic because we get to see them both as individuals, separate from their friendship. I love how she speaks of higher things like Women’s liberation and them being able to make their own choices in society as equal members instead of just gossiping about the ton, and her disdain for rEspEcTabLe society, and I love the feminist icon she is.

I like that the monarch is one, a Queen, and secondly, a woman of colour. She seemed far less silly or power hungry this season, and was just another reminder that women lead this show.

I really loved the moment with Edwina helping the Queen keep her head up high when the King barged in, and soothing his anxieties too. That was probably the moment where I felt the most respect for her, because while she’s great at manners and holding witty conversation and knowing when to do what, and being the perfect little young woman of marriageable age, she came off as a kid until then, the way Kate shields her and protects her, but that was the turning point for me.

I expected better from Penelope though, for such a woman of wit and words, she’s still very much stuck within the confines of society and while Lady Whistledown breaks away a little from this mould, she was reigned in by the very society she criticized and claims to be better than. She lost her power this season, and I hope she gets it back by the next one. That is in no way a judgement of the actress, but the storyline itself.

How I feel towards Lady Featherington is far from pleasant, but I appreciate that in the end everything she did was fueled by her desire to protect her daughters in a society that only saw them as objects with one sole purpose. A far cry from a feminist, or a respectable or honourable woman, but somehow still understandable?

I have to admit though, as much as I enjoyed this season of Bridgerton, as a reader, I couldn’t help but be disappointed by how far removed they were from the original storyline. The whole time I was wondering how they would not cause a scandal after having tread so far away from each other, and to be honest, I did not quite like the way the scandal was “resolved”. The relationship between Kate, her sister and her mother and Kate’s backstory were quite lacking in depth. While I appreciate that not everything can be included in an adaptation, this was so, so important, and was not paid enough attention to. Perhaps what I’m most sad about, though, is that we did not see “capital R rake” Anthony as much as we deserved to 😅 because Kate’s absolute disdain for the man was not petty and she was not just unnecessarily blocking him from courting her sister. And in the book, he was an honest man, he did not lead Edwina to believe he was in love with her, he was straightforward about how his marriage would not be for love because he did not expect to live long like his father and did not want to leave behind a broken woman or family. The build up to his affections towards Kate started out as just pure horniness, before anything more substantial occurred.

Anyway, I feel I would’ve probably enjoyed this season better if I hadn’t read the book first, because I can never stop comparing, but I love reading before because I love imagining the characters and scenes in my own little head before seeing them on screen. The south Asian representation and the above characters definitely helped make up for it to a certain extent.

I’ll probably make another post about the book vs the show another time, but I just wanted to share a few thoughts here and before I knew it, it was a rant/review, so that’s what you get for now!

[positivityjediprince]

How about the queen of all of star wars: Leia Organa for the character ask game?? Wishing you a speedy recovery!✨

LEIA MY QUEEN!!!!!

Favourite thing about them

She's so strong and passionate. Her planet is destroyed, she's so young but she keeps going she keeps pushing for a better world because she believes in it and she will make it happen (no die trying she will make it happen). The world has thrown so much at her and she perseveres with the Rebellion and then the Republic. I'm in awe! I just can't begin to say how much I love her fire. She deserves the world. She can rule the universe.

Least favourite thing

It kind of goes with the above - she's so determined and focused I think she can get a little petty and be dismissive. I know Han doesn't give the best impression but she is quick to dismiss him and later kisses Luke just to spite Han. I can see her (especially when she's young during the rebellion era) bulldozing people she doesn't see as at her level.

Favourite line

“Governor Tarkin! I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s leash. I recognised your foul stench when I was brought on board.”

Like she not only snatched his wig but set fire to it and danced on the ashes.

And "into chute fly boy" just makes me think she would have loved vines.

brOTP

Her and Luke all the way! They didn't grow up together but boy oh boy do they instantly go into sibling mode!

OTP

HanLeia, I just feel that they love eachother deeply and Han is so heart eyes for her from the moment she sasses him it's beautiful. They balance eachother out and bicker but also fully understand eachother.

Also, I've spoken to a few friends about this, but Yennefer/Leia is a crack OTP cause those women are beautiful and could take over the world (and I want them to step on me thank you)

nOTP

Incest ones - no LukeLeia or otherwise on my watch thank you

Unpopular opinion

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion but she shouldn't be expected to forgive Anakin like Luke did. She can hate Vader and Anakin, it's her right. If she does never forgiving him that's for her to decide and would be very valid. She's not Luke and she's not a Jedi. She was held in place, forced to watch her planet wiped from the face of the galaxy and tortured by Vader/Anakin. She is allowed to hate him.

Random headcannon

She loves having her hair brushed and played with, so often at the end of the day Han will take out her braids and wash her hair and brush it while she rants about her day or just enjoys the moment.

(also her and Cara hooked up once and that is why Cara's type is smaller woman who could destroy me and the world and I'd say think you)

Favourite picture

She's so tiny and sassy and this outfit and hair is on point!

Also I know it's not Leia but I'm ofc obsessed with this photo of Carrie and Mark

Also thank youuuuuuu! I'm getting better now it's mainly a fuzzy headache and occasional cough! 🥰🥰

[hale-13]

Zero Days Without Incident

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 20 Prompt - Defiance

The ‘Days Without Incident’ sign in Tony Stark’s private workshop has nothing to do with engineering or science mishaps and all to do with a bet between him and a certain Spiderling.

Words: 1783, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan

TW: Stabbing

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

“Peter you have thirty minutes until your curfew,” Karen warned him, already plotting a course home and throwing it up on his HUD.

It was a balmy spring evening and Peter had spent most of his patrol leisurely swinging through Queens or relaxing on a hammock made from his webs. There had been a few petty crimes he had dealt with, some grand theft bicycle, a cat stuck in a tree but, all in all, he couldn’t really complain. He loved being Spider-Man and helping his neighborhood but it was nice to have a slow day sometimes.

A scream sounded in the distance.

“Spoke too soon,” he mumbled, altering his course and picking up speed. “Can you get me directions K?”

“Of course Peter,” Karen answered, as chirpy and happy as normal, re-routing him away from his apartment and toward the sounds of discourse in the distance. When he dropped in on the scene it seemed to be a mugging in progress and Peter rolled his eyes – didn’t people have anything better to do on a random Tuesday in April? God just seriously rethink your life choices.

“I would say its knife to meet you but I’ve definitely used that pun in the last couple weeks and I don’t want to be accused of not being original,” Peter called down, making both the assailant and victim flinch and look up to where he was perched on the wall above them. “Where did even get that thing? The renaissance fair? Who robs people with a full on dagger anyway? Run out of kitchen knives?” Peter quipped, flipping down and pushing the mugger away with a well placed kick to the arm that made the man stumble back.

“This has nothing to do with you bug,” the man snarled, brandishing the weapon at Peter now and making him roll his eyes. “Don’t get in my way and I won’t have to use this on ya.”

“Spiders are arachnids actually, not bugs” Peter pointed out, shooing the stunned woman out of the alley and on her way out of any potential danger. “And how about you not stab anybody today huh? If you promise to behave I won’t web you to the wall and call the police. Sounds like a fair trade right?”

The man snarled at him with irritation. “You talk too much.”

“So I’ve been told,” Peter agreed easily with a nod. “But what do you say? Ready to give up your life of crime for the straight and narrow?”

“No,” the man grumbled and, with literally no warning, lunged forward and stabbed his knife directly into Peter’s gut.

They both stared at each other in stunned silence before Peter processed the pain with a loud ‘fuck!’.

“You motherfucker,” Peter grunted, backing away to lean against the wall, holding the knife still with one hand so as to not dislodge it. “I can’t believe you stabbed me!”

“I thought you would dodge! You always dodge!” The man said, reaching up both hands to dig into his hair. “I stabbed Spider-Man what the fuck!”

“God this is just-,” Peter grumbled using his free arm to fire webbing at the guy and secure him to the nearby dumpster. “I’ve gone three weeks without having to go to the MedBay! Three weeks! All I had to do was last one more and then I got to pick the movie at movie night for the next month! God I can’t believe it! Mr. Stark is going to be so insufferable now!”

“You could just… not tell him?” The man asked hopefully, not even bothering to struggle against the webs and Peter blew out a breath as he sank down to sit on the gritty ground – he was starting to feel a little cold and dizzy from either the blood loss or shock, he couldn’t tell which. Not that it mattered, his fierce anger overshadowed everything.

“Not an option,” Peter grunted, leaning his head back and closing his eyes against the helpful countdown timer Karen had started displaying the second Tony had entered the Iron Man armor and started jetting to him. “He already knows.” Curse the Baby-monitor Protocol! He and Ned would need to remove it again…

“He track you or something?” The man asked questioningly, head quirked to the side in obvious curiosity.

“Or something,” Peter agreed.

“That’s wack man,” he said. “An invasion of privacy. A, uh… violation of your constitutional rights as a free American!”

“Do you honestly think Tony Stark cares about an something as simple as an invasion of privacy? I’m lucky he hasn’t microchipped me yet,” Peter pointed out. Or, at least, he didn’t think Tony had microchipped him. He’d have to check that and remove it post haste if he found something.

“Dude,” knife guy said commiserating and Peter had to fight the eye roll. Of course the person who stabbed him felt remorseful now.

“I know,” Peter agreed, peering down at his side to look at where the knife was embedded into him. He was pretty good around blood as long as it wasn’t his own and, looking at the way his suit was slick and blood was beginning to pool under his thighs in a puddle made Peter lightheaded so he closed his eyes again. “He’s probably going to be pretty pissed at you by the way,” Peter warned. “He has pretty good lawyers so I wouldn’t have high hopes of getting out of this without jail time.”

The man groaned and Peter just shrugged. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time and all that – also don’t stab people and leave them to the ministrations of their helicopter mentors. Same thing really. The sound of repulsers neared and Peter braced himself – he wasn’t looking forward to dealing with this.

“I guess that we can change the ‘Days Without Incident’ sign back to zero eh Spiderling?” Tony teased as he landed in the mouth of the alley, disengaging his suit and walking over to kneel next to Peter. “You were doing so good too – your longest streak ever in fact.”

“Don’t remind me,” Peter hissed as Tony prodded around the wound carefully with a pre-gloved hand. “Can you not touch that?”

“No can do buddy,” Tony said, not sounding the least bit apologetic. “Gotta anchor it in so it doesn’t fall out on the ride back. Happy’s on his way to pick us up.”

“Oh great,” Peter groused, letting Tony lean him forward a little so he could start wrapping roll gauze around the knife. “He loves to complain when I get blood on the seats.”

“Only when you get impaled,” Tony said brightly, pulling the gauze tight almost vindictively and making Peter wince. “Wouldn’t want to deprive him now would we?”

“You could just let me bleed out and die here,” Peter suggested seriously. “Since my life is basically over now anyway.

“You’re such a dramatic little shit,” Tony groused, tying off the gauze and levering Peter up off the ground to slump into his side for the extra support. “Now say ‘goodbye’ to your friend, he won’t be seeing the real world for a long, long time,” Tony’s voice had an edge of steel as he said this, dragging Peter to the end of the alley and ignoring the muggers ‘Aw man, c’mon!” as they passed. Peter just shrugged a ‘what can you do?” and wiggled his fingers in a facsimile of a wave as he was pulled away.

Happy, to his credit, was efficient and must have already been in the area because he was quick to pull up with a surly look already cemented onto his face as he surveyed where Peter was leaning into Tony and dribbling blood onto the sidewalk in large, heavy droplets. “I already called the cleaning crew,” he told them through the open window. “They’ll be here before the police to scrub up any possible radioactive DNA.”

“Best forehead of security ever,” Tony crooned lovingly as he carefully situated Peter onto the pile of towels Happy had put into the backseat to soak up the blood and keep it off his leather seats. Happy glared at the both of them in the rearview mirror before rolling up the partition. Tony snorted in undisguised mirth.

“How you feeling kiddie?” He asked as he peeled Peter’s mask from his sweaty face. “Not going to pass out on me again right?”

“Uh…” Peter groaned, squeezing his eyes shut tight to stop the spinning and grey dots that were clouding his vision. “No promises. Sorry.” Tony just let out a put upon sigh like he expected as much and pushed Peter to lay down across the seats, grabbing one of the extra towels to press tightly around the knife and making Peter let out a whining moan at the pressure. “Yeah I might pass out,” he said faintly as his vision started to tunnel.

“Go on then,” Tony said, running a hand through Peter’s damp curls and smoothing them away from his face. “At least you don’t sass me when you’re unconscious.” Peter felt the man lift his legs to slid a few wadded up towels underneath… like that would actually help keep him awake.

“Rude,” Peter grumbled before losing his grip on reality – he trusted Tony to take care of things for now.

——————————————

“I hate this movie,” Peter grumbled groggily, as he pulled himself awake some time later. He was lying in one of the beds in the MedBay, attached to a blood transfusion and with a thick padding of gauze on his abdomen. Tony, seated next to him and munching on popcorn, just sent him a shit eating grin and held up the whiteboard that had been hanging in his workshop displaying ‘Days Without Incident’ with a large 0 written under it in obnoxious red ink.

“This is such bullshit,” Peter said petulantly, picking at the tape holding the IV in place. “I can’t escape! Go watch your garbage movie somewhere else.”

“Excuse me you brat,” Tony said imperiously. “The Breakfast Club is a cult classic thank you very much and besides,” he continued, offering Peter the bowl of popcorn, “someone clearly has to educate you on good movies.”

“I’m going back to sleep,” Peter said, flicking a kernel of popcorn playfully at his mentor (and missing damn – he must be on drugs) and letting his tired eyes slip closed again.

“Sore loser,” he heard Tony tease as he fell asleep and that did it. When he won their next bet they were marathoning the whole Star Wars series from beginning to end, including all of the Clone Wars and the Mandalorian, and he didn’t care what Mr. Stark said.

[villainousshakespeare]

Putting It Back Together Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Adam/OFC

Rated M (will probably change to E) - Grief, angst, eventual smut, mention of characters dead before the start of the story, blood, slow burn

Summary: Since the death of his beloved Eve, Adam had been barely living, only alive due to a promise he made to her. Then one night he meets his new neighbor, a woman dealing with grief of her own. Will they help each other heal or drive each other crazy?

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @gorgeous1974 @maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1​ @poetic-fiasco​ @shiningloki​ @dangertoozmanykids101​ @bookworm-christina​ @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy​ @amwolowicz​ @delightfulheartdream​ @frostbitten-written​ @what-a-flammable-heart​ @tom-hlover​ @nonsensicalobsessions​ @myraiswack​

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Hunched over his desk, Adam scowled at the blank staff on the music composition page before him. In his mind he could hear the notes that he had composed two nights ago but when he tried to concentrate and write them down they refused to stay clear in his brain. Twice already he had crumpled up the dried out old paper and hurled it across the room. Now, after his pen scratched through another mistake, he swept the entire pile of paper off the desk.

Leaning back in his wingchair, he glared across the room. It was all the fault of that thing. There against the wall, clashing with his dark hued room, sat a garishly bright neon yellow tool bag. It was not just that it was an eye sore, though that was bad enough. Really, who in their right mind would purchase anything so hideous? It was the knowledge that it belonged to her. That horrid, sobbing girl who had cried all over him last night.

Adam suppressed a shiver as he remembered it. She had clung to him like a python, face buried in his chest has he flailed to find a way to calm her. He had been so startled by the way she melted into him he had not known what to do. He was no longer, he realized, used to experiencing any form of physical contact.

She was tiny. That had been his first, irrelevant observation. Her watery face had only come up to the middle of his chest. She was also surprisingly warm. Holding her felt so different, so very different than holding Eve had felt. His late wife had been nearly as tall as he was, and like him she lacked the blood pumping through her veins to warm her in the night air.

Blood. That was the next, unshakable realization. She was full of throbbing, pulsing blood. Adam could sense it coursing through her, adding a flush to her face and a beat to the chest pressed against his stomach. With her hair piled as it was on top of her head he could see clearly the blue tinted vein running down her long neck. Staring at it, he felt his animal side begin to stir within him.

It had been ten years since Adam had eaten from a living person. On that desperate night in Tangier it had been a matter of life or death, him or the young woman unfortunate enough to cross his path when he was literally starving. He had turned the girl, and Eve had done the same to her lover. They had given them immortality, curse or gift depending on your mindset. In the end, it hadn't mattered. Both of them had died along with Eve when tainted blood had been sold to them. Adam would have been dead too, had he not been out scouring a rare bookshop for a gift for his beloved.

Years later, the proximity of a carotid artery, just there for the taking, caused a physical sensations within him. Adam could feel his fangs fighting to descend. Alarmingly, he could also feel his cock hardening in his jeans. Live feeding was not the only thing he had gone without for years. The small woman in his arms, so helpless and so unaware of her peril, was all but begging to be devoured in all sorts of ways. He could imagine tearing away her clothes and sinking into her, first his cock then his fangs, as he satisfied his cravings upon her unsuspecting body. Had Adam been other than what he was, had he not had all of those centuries with Eve to civilize him, she would have been done for.

Instead, he had clumsily patted her on the back, eyes rolling in his head as he did so. He could not quite bring himself to mouth the platitudes he knew she would expect of him, but he did his best to bite back the sarcasm that was his defensive habit. She had lost someone herself, and while the pain of losing someone known only for one short lifetime could never compare to the loss he had suffered, it still touched a chord within him. He knew the deep, unending pain of love taken too soon.

When at last she had managed to breath regularly again, Adam had quickly walked her back to the hatch that led to her own home. She had uttered a ceaseless string of apologies that he neither wanted nor needed, and he had mumbled something inane in return, sounding for all the world like just another zombie. The relief he felt when he shut the hatch behind her had almost brought him to his knees. And yet...

She had been so very warm. So warm and so alive. Irritating and encroaching, yes, but her questions about his electric system had been intelligent, and her observations startlingly apt. He was used to zombies being disinterested, focused so inward on their own petty problems that they didn't see what was right in front of their faces.

Her face had been pretty, the thought ran through his head. A little older than he had expected at first, though they all seemed young to him. Big eyes, full lips, high, almost elfin cheekbones.

With a growl, Adam stood up and stalked over to the offensive yellow tool bag. He should have left it up on the roof. She would have realized it was missing eventually and gone back up for it. But the skies had looked threatening, and he didn't want her tools to rust. It was a matter of conservation, he assured himself. Not wanting to do something nice for a zombie. Certainly not that.

He obviously was not going to be able to concentrate with the hideous thing in his home. He would take it back over to her. The home she lived in had a double style doorway; if he was lucky the outer door would be open and he could leave it between them. No need to see her again. The last thing he needed was to be dragged into another encounter with her.

Pulling his leather jacket on without bothering with a shirt, Adam grabbed the tool bag and headed for his front door. Best to get this over with. Yanking open the door in his rush, he collided with something soft and with a shock watched the very person he had been hoping to avoid fall backwards off of his front stoop.

"Fuck!" she yelped, as she toppled down.

Adam blinked as she looked up at him from the ground where she sat inelegantly on her ass.

"Are you alright?" he asked as sense returned to him.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," she smiled unconvincingly at him. "Luckily I don't have too far to fall."

"I was going out and didn't expect you to be there," he mumbled.

He heard the accusation in his voice, but didn't seem to be able to help it. What the hell had she been doing there?

"Of course not," she blushed. "Um... would you mind?"

She held out her hand and Adam gasped. Her palm was scratched from breaking her fall, and a small pattern of blood was beading up on the skin. Instinctively he took a step back at the same time his head moved forward with a will of its own. The woman looked at him with confusion, and he forced himself calm down. Why the fuck hadn't he put on gloves?

Working hard to control the trembling of his hands, he reached out and helped her to stand. Hyper aware of the siren call of her blood he pulled his hands back as fast as he possibly could, hoping she didn't notice the way they trembled. Fortunately for him she seemed too concentrated on her own discomfort.

"Did you want something?" he asked brusquely when she had gotten her balance back.

"Not really. Well, I mean, yes. To... to apologize. For last night. For crying all over you. Sorry."

"No need," he told her "Forget about it. I have."

"Oh. Well, okay then," she stood for a moment worrying at her lower lip, and he noticed again how full her mouth was. "Were you going somewhere?"

"Out," he said tersely, old habits dying hard. As he saw her flinch, he made his tone soften. "Actually, I was going to see you."

"Really?" he eyes lit up, and Adam felt a panic that he could not place.

"Yes. You left this on the roof last night. I thought you might want it back."

"Oh," she said again, face falling once more. "Thanks."

"Think nothing of it," he said, grimacing. Why was she just standing there? "Well, see you."

"Yeah," she blinked up at him.

"Alright then."

Honestly, wasn't she ever going to move? Giving up, Adam gave her the closest he could muster to a half smile and turned back inside, shutting the door behind him in her face.

Only when the wood was solid between them did he shakily raise his hand in front of his face. There, crimson in the dim light of his apartment, was a smear of her blood. Unable to control himself any longer, he brought his hand to his mouth and desperately sucked the sticky liquid off, moaning with the taste of it. So fresh, so pure, so sweet.

Falling back on the sofa conveniently behind him, he realized he was hard again. Licking to make sure he had gotten every last drop, he stroked himself with his other hand. If he was picturing a certain set of wide eyes and lush lips, it was only because their owner's blood was still hot in his mouth. There could not possibly be any other reason.

***

Well, that had been an unmitigated disaster.

Lilly held the bag of frozen peas to her ass and tried not to dwell on how thoroughly she had humiliated herself. If that was an example of her improving her image she obviously needed to never leave the house again. She was not fit to be around other people. Certainly not fit to be around someone so flawless as her neighbor.

Good lord, when he had walked out the door and into her, it was like being hit with a load of bricks. Lying there on her backside staring up at him, Lilly had been almost stuck dumb by the sight. She had thought he was beautiful from a distance, or in the dark light of the roof. Standing as he was in a halo of porch light he was almost god-like. It did not help that his black leather jacket was parted to reveal a very well muscled chest and abdomen. Lilly's eyes traveled the length of him from the bob of his adam's apple, over his defined pecs and six pack, and down to the thin trail of hair and the vee that drew her eyes past the edge of his low slung jeans.

Sweet bajeebas, but he was perfect. She was hardly the same species. What had she been thinking?

The playing began sometime later that night, around midnight. Lilly was hunched of a jigsaw puzzle she had found in a cupboard. Her Grandmother had loved to do them, and Lilly had caught the bug. She had lost count of the number of nights she had stayed up obsessively putting them together, unable to go to bed until she had found just one more piece, only to see the sun rise as she finished it.

The wail of a guitar came through the wall, sounding plaintive and introspective. Lilly had been drawn to all of the music she had heard from him so far. His melodies were complex, and he seemed to favor minor keys. Her Grandmother would have liked it as well. No doubt she had enjoyed hearing the strains come through the thin walls. Certainly she would have preferred it to the fighting and drunken antics of the students that had always assailed them before.

Lilly found herself humming along to his playing. She loved music, even if she was self-conscious of her voice. Having a Grandmother who had made a career of crooning songs in smoky clubs made her all too aware of her own deficiency.

There was something so comforting about music. It was almost mathematical in the way it worked. Patterns created and repeated, only to be subverted and return in a new and unexpected ways. If the composer was good, that was. Her neighbor was very good.

Of course he would be good. God forbid he be less than perfect at anything.

So when he kept reaching the end of a delicate passage, only to end on a note that didn't quite resolve the phrase. Lilly could hear the frustration in his fingers clearly through the layers of sheet rock that separated them. At first it amused her; so he was fallible after all. Good. She allowed herself to take a superior pleasure in his failure.

By the time it was approaching two in the morning, she was ready to scream. She was over halfway done with her puzzle - a scene of Paris at night, all lit up - but was finding it increasingly hard to concentrate. Her gorgeous, grouchy neighbor must have played through the piece a hundred times, and every time it ended wrong. It was driving her insane. He was so close to finishing it. Every time he hit the not quite right note she felt her entire body twitch. She could only imagine how he was feeling.

It started one more time. Lilly held her breath, willing him to find what was right there, waiting to be put in place. The final phrase started, she scrunched her face, waiting to hear it fixed. The note he played was achingly close, but not quite what the song cried out for.

"Half a step lower!" she screamed out, unable to resist any longer.

The music stopped. Everything went silent on the other side of the wall. Now she had done it. Lilly could see him, glaring at the wall with that intense, closed off set of blue eyes. She was inordinately happy now that a solid hunk of material kept them apart. Any hope of a friendship developing between her and her haughty crush had surely been dashed now. And all because she could not control her stupid impulses.

After a stretch that seemed like forever, a length of time where Lilly died and was forced back into existence repeatedly, the music started up again. She made herself a small lump in the corner of her sofa, as if somehow she could hide even though it was impossible for him to see her. If she could have fit below the cushions she would have.

He reached to end and after the slightest of pauses he played the note she had suggested. It sounded perfect. The chord rang out, slowly fading, and she felt a small smile fighting to exist on her lips.

The music stopped abruptly again, and for the rest of the night only silence greeted her through the wall between them.

[shera-dnd]

Face Turn - Three Count

What’s up fuckers it’s time for another chapter of Face Turn

This time let’s watch as these two slowly bond over their fucked up childhoods

Also this chapter has a joke about Weiss’s name and I want to clarify that Veiss is not quite the correct pronunciation, but it’s like the closest most english speakers can get to it

anyway AO3 link and on with the show

Her match with Yang had been long, painful and bloody. They had to sell this as the nastiest fight they’ve had and by god did they fucking sell it. Of course, their wounds weren’t half as bad as they looked, but they were still in some serious pain, and Weiss loved it.

She missed this adrenaline, she missed the thrill that came with a really good match. Beating the living shit out of Yang had been the most fun she’d had in well over a year now and it showed.

“Well someone here is having a lot of fun.” Yang joked, from the seat to her right, “for a loser.”

In the end that was the solution they found for the story. Weiss had beat Yang and showed the world that she was the strongest fighter around, but she had gone too far and the judge was forced to disqualify her and give the victory to Yang. 

Yang kept her honor and her win streak intact and Weiss got to make her point that she could kick anyone’s ass in a real fight. Now they were both set to continue their rivalry properly.

She had to admit she was happy with that result. That didn’t mean she couldn’t sass Yang back though.

“And you’re talking a lot of shit for someone I just beat up.”

“Hey, if you want me to shut up, next time aim for the mouth,” she joked.

Weiss laughed, but Doctor Goodwitch was having none of that.

“You’ll do no such thing.” She interjected, “and you will both run your ideas by me before you go out there and beat each other black and blue. This is wrestling, not boxing.”

“Don’t I know it,” Weiss tried to bite back, but Goodwitch had a glare that would put even her sister to shame, so she toned the attitude way down, “sorry ma’am.”

They stayed in silence there for a while, patiently waiting for her to finish patching them up. It was awkward and painful, but the grin didn’t leave Weiss’s face the whole time.

“Hey, ice queen,” Yang called after Goodwitch had left, “wanna hit the bar tomorrow to celebrate our first match?”

It was good to hear that not even she was crazy enough to go drinking while on some serious pain meds.

“Only if you’re a gracious winner and pay for my drinks.”

The next day, after a nice night of drinking, Yang offered to do exactly that.

“Hey, I was joking about paying for the drinks,” she interjected.

“I know, but I am, in fact, a gracious winner,” Yang replied, looking her smugest.

“Yeah, not gonna happen,” Weiss slammed down her money and turned to leave.

“Jeez,” Yang complained as she followed, “it was just a few beers.”

“I don’t like owing people,” she replied, and before Yang could say anything she added, “and you saying I don’t owe anything won’t change that. I don’t buy that shit.”

“You have some serious trust issues, you know that?” That earned a laugh from Weiss.

“First lesson in the Jackass Schnee’s school of life,” she declared, “don’t trust anyone and don’t owe anyone shit.”

Yang looked at her like she didn’t know if she should laugh or give her a hug. Instead she settled for saying, “okay now I need to hear that story.”

“I’m not drunk enough for that one.”

But next week she very much was.

“Then I tried singing,” she rambled, “and of course that asshole tried to get his creepy little hands all over that. Then I joined the military, like my sister did, and there he was again trying to make sure I honored the Schnee name or whatever.”

“Shit, you used to sing?” Yang asked, focusing on the wrong thing.

“And I was fucking great at it,” she answered, with quite a lot of pride, “don’t ask me to try singing any of it now, I haven’t practiced outside of a shower in almost ten years.”

“Aww and here I thought I’d get a show all for myself,” she joked. There was something else in her tone, but it was lost amidst the alcohol and her absolute lack of experience with casual social interactions.

“Anyway that’s when I decided that I needed something that he would hate too much to get his hands on,” she continued, “something that he would refuse to tie the family name to.”

“So you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life punching people just to make your dad angry?”

“I mean, at first,” she hated how petty this made her sound, “but then I started liking it. It was something I could focus on and try to get better at, and I could do it for myself for once.”

Yang gave her a smile that was more soft and genuine than anything anyone had ever given her. Then she lifted her bottle and announced, “to spite and all the great things it helped us achieve.”

Weiss smiled back and raised her own bottle, “to defiance, and not letting anyone tell us how to live our lives.”

They both chugged their drinks and laughed loudly, like the two drunk idiots they were.

“Hey, wanna hear what’s worse?” Weiss offered, trying really hard not to laugh.

“You mean it gets worse?”

Weiss nodded and then leaned forward as if she was about to tell her some sordid Schnee family secret.

“Jacques doesn’t know how to say my name right,” she whispered, “but everyone thinks he does, so they all just say it wrong too.”

“No fucking way!”

“Yes fucking way!” She insisted, “my mom gave me a german name and it should be pronounced like Veiss Schnee, but that dumb shit has been butchering it since the day I was born.”

At that Yang started cackling. 

“Shit, Weiss,” she called, trying and failing to say it properly, “your family makes even mine sound functional.”

“Okay now it’s your turn to share your tragic backstory,” Weiss asked, maybe a little drunker than she was planning on getting tonight.

“Maybe next time, Ice Queen.”

Thankfully Weiss didn’t have to wait long. Even though they barely saw each other at work that week, they knew they’d both be at the White Fang again. It was a strange new routine that she wasn’t sure when she had fallen into.

“So after Summer died dad got hit pretty bad. Couldn’t fight anymore, couldn’t even help around the house,” Yang told her over some drinks. Weiss had noticed she’d been drinking a lot less that night, “so that’s when I took up wrestling. Indie stuff at first, just trying to get some bills paid and help raise my sister.”

Weiss didn’t know how to respond. She’d never been in a position like that before. Should she console her friend? How would she even do that? Shit, were they even friends or just very close coworkers?

“I try not to blame Tai for it,” Yang continued, “he’s a great dad and I know he was going through a lot back then, but it’s hard not to get bitter over that stuff.”

She looked down at her drink, having vastly underestimated how hard this would hit her. It was strange seeing Yang’s face doing anything other than beaming or laughing. She was such a joyful person that it hurt to see her like that.

Damn it, she had to fix that.

“Hey, jackass,” fucking great start there, Weiss, “stop torturing yourself over feeling shit. Just because you know it wasn’t his fault doesn’t mean you don’t get to let yourself be bitter about it.”

Yang chuckled weakly, “wasn’t expecting an actual lesson in emotional health from you of all people.”

Weiss should be offended, but Yang did have a point.

“Hey, letting me feel things was the first thing I taught myself after I told Jackass to fuck off.” 

“Was the second thing swear words?” Yang joked and it was as if that shadow from before had never been there.

“You can bet your ass it was fucking swear words!” She declared, slamming her hand on the table.

At that they both laughed loudly and happily. When had Weiss ever felt so at ease with someone else? The answer was never, but she didn’t want to focus on the sadness that came with that realization. She wanted to focus on the idiot laughing in front of her.

“Weiss Schnee,” Yang called. Her pronunciation getting just a little better, “you’re the fucking worst!”

To that she smiled.

She liked how her name sounded in Yang’s voice.